#guys fuckin want from me. you want me to analyze every fucking thing i watch always and forever? because for me the problematic and
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Idrc if you wanna find the politics in every piece of media you consume but personally i dont really care to all the time like idk. Like idk sometimes i just wanna enjoy shit w/o constantly thinking about the underlying politics or whatever? Sometimes its hard to ignore if its super rw based but still, a lot of other shit i just feel like im investing more energy into this shit than was intended for most ppl like idk. The underlying political implications of spirited away. Idk i just dont really care lol
#its a movie about an emotional journey so uh thats kinda my focus there bud#also ngl it does feel like ppl bring up this argument so they can keep coming to conclusions abt what the creator meant by whatever#when sometimes its not for that reason or not that deep. idk. i do feel like some of yall are married to being paranoid that whatever ur#consuming will somehow make you take on entirely different politics?? idk. but ill be real consuming things w not perfect politics only#really solidifies in my head that im right when i *do* actually think its worth psychoanalyzing. or maybe i end up neing wrong#in my assumptions. either way. im ok w critical thinking and then also not feel this weird need to shit on the media constantly#like i loathe family guy. some of the jokes are funny. most of the show is horrible. i dont talk about it bc i dont care.#im sorry lol like. what do you want from me#ive already thought about what about the show i dont like. its politics etc. and i dont watch it. but thats bc its kinda hard to ignore#the constantly shitting on everyone energy of the show. w other shit like idk. dora or something like?? im not spending my time#looking for the political flaws really?? probably there to learn spanish lol#ig i personally find tearing apart media all the time and finding its flaws to be like. a hobby people engage in. but they seem to see it#like as... political action..? ig i can see that being good for something like harry potter or whatever. but sometimes its like idk what u#guys fuckin want from me. you want me to analyze every fucking thing i watch always and forever? because for me the problematic and#off putting politics come off bery obviously when they come up. but as far as a lot of childrens shows go? idk. ig id be more focused#on the plot than the politics..?#ig its bc i kinda feel like... this isnt political action to analyze media all the time.......#i think a better use of your time is learning what you can actually do to change peoples minds to be more progressive personally?#ig if you do that w a piece of media often co opted by rwingers or something like that then its cool but idk#ig i worry about shit like. 'spongebob is a fascist' type takes lol. ig i dont feel like this is like... a great way to move ppl to the#left. esp since the only ppl who are gonna read your media analysis on tumblr is other leftists who already agree with you :|
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Could you tell me what's your opinion about kogoro,like you always appear like you hate kogoro that's why I wanted to know (whenever you mention him you tell that unbothered fuckin father) wanna know your opinion please answer my ask
fun question!
I LOVE KOGORO
with that being said, i have a very nuanced opinion on him
do i think he's a good detective, husband or father? NO, absolutely not. i don't even think he's a good guardian in regards to conan lol
kogoro can be very self-absorbed, impatient and superficial. his alcoholism and gambling addiction strain every aspect of his life, but kogoro doesn't seem to care enough to change
a few examples:
chapter 1
chapter 370
LIKE??? SHE HAS TO STUDY FOR HER MOCK EXAMS AND KOGORO CAN'T BE BOTHERED TO GIVE A FUCK LOL
initially, i blamed his attitude on his lack of success as a detective. but he shows signs of being irresponsible in his youth as well, despite working for the police:
chapter 572
even after shinichi saves kogoro's career and introduces him to a lot of fame, kogoro shows no willingness to change. he's chronically self-indulgent:
chapter 853
on top of that, the rare times that ran asks him to do something for her, he acts like it's a complete burden:
chapter 528
ran asks him to watch eri's cat while she's in school and kogoro tries to pass the responsibility on to conan
speaking of conan, kogoro repeatedly gets violent with him when he's investigating alongside him
chapter 12
the reason why it appears like i hate him is because my posts are mainly about shinran and interestingly enough, gosho decided to write kogoro as shinichi's polar opposite in a lot of ways. which he even admits in his own writing:
chapter 163
it's evidently a writing choice that gosho decided to go for on purpose. and i think that's fucking brilliant. think about it: ran growing up with an irresponsible, unreliable dad who often prioritizes drinking and gambling over his own daughter? and that same girl falling in love with a guy who's incredibly dependable, attentive, selfless and everything her father is not? IT MAKES SO MUCH SENSE
so whenever i analyze certain shinran moments, it becomes glaringly obvious to me that shinichi often acts like an anti-kogoro, so to speak.
examples i already mentioned in my acts of service post: kogoro refusing to help ran - shinichi stepping up as a result in chapter 457 and 716.
additional examples:
chapter 192
kogoro drops off ran at this weird, isolated mansion for a meeting that sonoko arranged with a bunch of strangers online and he feels off about the whole thing and i'm like YES LOVE THAT, SHOWING GREAT PARENTAL INSTINCTS
he even warns one of the guys and i'm like YEAH YOU'RE BEING A GOOD DAD, LETS GO KOGORO
naturally, shinichi feels weird about the situation as well, so he insists on staying with his girl, even though it's already been discussed that he's too sick:
so, despite the fact that a) kogoro feels like something is odd about the meeting, b) he warns the guy to leave ran tf alone... HE STILL LEAVES HER AT THE MANSION UNPROTECTED
and i'm like... WHY????? and gosho immediately answers my question:
LIKE????????????????????? talk about bad parenting lol
anyway, turns out something about the meeting was indeed off and ran is potentially in danger. both shin and kogoro lose their shit:
but there's a key difference between kogoro and shinichi and i feel like gosho wrote this difference on purpose - nothing, and i mean absolutely NOTHING will ever stop shinichi from trying to keep ran safe:
ONE MORE EXAMPLE
chapter 347-349
the case barely even begins and shinichi immediately observes that ran isn't feeling well:
he even tries to convince her to ditch dinner and go back home:
when shit starts hitting the fan and ran is getting incredibly dizzy, kogoro doesn't even notice:
again, maybe i'm reading too much into it, but i think the fact that gosho depicts kogoro's ignorance in this situation is 100% by design and as a result shinichi gets to be the anti-kogoro again:
throughout the whole case shinichi worries about ran and tries to take care of her. which is very impressive considering that ran constantly tries to downplay her symptoms:
examples like this occur way too often for me to write them off as a coincidence. we're clearly dealing with a pattern. how could i not point that out in my analysis? especially when shinichi's unwavering loyalty towards ran is something that she gushes about constantly?
with all that being said, just because i regurarly point out kogoro's flaws as a dad, doesn't mean i hate him. it's just that i aim to reach a full, comprehensive conclusion with every analysis i write and that entails important details like the glaring differences between shinichi and kogoro regarding their treatment of ran.
i still adore kogoro. cause like i said, there's nuance. i feel like there's a lot of hidden depth behind kogoro's character that i wish gosho explored more:
he's smarter than people think
chapter 11
HE'S THE FIRST PERSON TO QUESTION CONAN'S REAL IDENTITY, EVEN BEFORE RAN:
chapter 165
to everyone's suprise, kogoro deducts that eri lost her wedding ring and he goes out of his way to find it for her:
there are more examples of him showing decent detective skills during certain cases but this post is already long enough lol so i'm not getting into that
he can be very idealistic
chapter 86
him holding an old and dear friend accountable for murdering someone:
chapter 376
him doing the same again with a childhood friend:
HE HAS HIS MOMENTS, OKAY?!
chapter 266
I LOVE IT when kogoro shows his vulnerable side, i find it so heartwarming:
chapter 986
OR HIS BADASS SIDE (this is him protecting eri from a guy who's about to sexually assault her)
WHAT A KING
and even though i shit on his parenting a lot he can be very endearing at times! examples:
chapter 207
his reaction to ran dreaming about the one time that shinichi asked her to give him her bra (it was for a case lol)
chapter 254
MY FAVORITE KOGORO MOMENT:
it's a small but incredibly touching gesture and i love him so much for moments like this
chapter 255
HE CAN BE SO SUPPORTIVE AND SWEET
chapter 765
even though i criticized him for his treatment of conan earlier, shinichi and kogoro have their moments as well. the ramen case is one of my favorite moments between them, it's just so wholesome!
this case is giving dad and son-in-law eneregy!
to sum up my very long response: kogoro is an overall shitty person but he can be very smart, idealistic and sweet and i wish gosho explored those aspects of his character more, cause i feel like he gets sidelined a lot. he often uses kogoro for comedic relief which is fair to a certain extent cause kogoro is HILARIOUS and makes me laugh all the time but gosho keeps giving the bigger and more meaningful plotlines to characters that I DON'T GIVE A SHIT ABOUT (looking at you amuro) and i think that's a fucking shame cause kogoro has a lot of potential
hope that answers your question! :)
visit the shinran library for more
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reflection - jj maybank
⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯
warning: +18. NSFW CONTENT. MINORS DNI. exhibitionist (ish). vaginal sex. masturbation. language. dirty talking. oral sex.
word count: 1.2k
author’s notes: this one took me soooo days to finish. i rewrote this a thousand times lol
masterlist | join the taglist | kinktober masterlist!!!!
⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯
“Done y/n, the bed frame is installed, the shelves are in the right place, your mirror is set and we’re… dead.” John B says as he throws the last box on the floor.
Finally, I’m all settled in - my place in Outer Banks, which means freedom and no more late-night walks back from the Chateau. Not that crashing at John B’s wasn’t fun, but now everything here is mine, and it’s cozy and perfect.
The guys decided to chill downstairs, drinking off the rest of the earlier beer. I stayed there cleaning the rest of the mess. I grabbed a little towel to clean the window glass and mirror. From the mirror's reflection, I spotted JJ, leaning in the doorframe. I couldn’t help but flash him a big smile.
“You know, I’m pretty darn proud of you,” JJ said, moving closer and giving me a tight hug from behind. “What’s on your mind, milady?” he asked, planting a kiss on my shoulder.
“I think I’m just tired and over the moon. Everything came together just as I imagined it. Now, I’ve got this whole place and it’s perfect, I almost feel like I’m no longer a pogue,”
JJ chuckled. “Nah, once a pogue, always a pogue,” He says brushing his lips to my neck. “ I really dig this mirror, by the way.”
“It’s so pretty and massive, I know it’s kinda silly, but I fucking love this,”
“It’s not silly, I’m dead serious, I like it, you know why?” JJ asked getting closer to my ears “It's kinda in a perfect angle, I can fuck you in the bed or in on the desk, would be a fuckin view no matter where.” He smirked as I stared at him, with a grin on his face, he released me from his arms smacking my ass before leaving the room.
Later that night, after everyone had left, both of us came upstairs, JJ took a shower first and I made sure to be the last one. His little comment made my mind send some familiar signals to my body. So I searched through some boxes for some lingerie and stayed in the bathroom. With a robe on top, I finally stepped out of the room, and there was JJ, stretched out on the bed, watching something on his phone.
"So, I've been thinking about what you said earlier," I mumbled, standing in front of my mirror, playfully messing with my hair. "You know, about the mirror..."
JJ's eyes flicked up from the screen, a sly grin already on his face. When our eyes finally met in the mirror's reflection, I slowly slipped out of my robe. JJ sat up in the bed analyzing every inch of my body.
“Can I help you out of that?
I turn my body to him as I slowly unhook my bra. "I mean, you've already helped me a lot today," I told him. JJ nods, his eyes locked on mine.
"One more thing, wouldn’t be a problem," a mischievous glint fills his eyes as he stands up and gets closer to me. His hands land and my hips and twist them, "God, I'm crazy for you," His breath on the back of my neck instantly makes my body tingle.
“You’re so beautiful,” he says, pressing his lower body onto mine.
Just as we were earlier, JJ hugs me from behind, but this time, his hand caresses my tits as the other one is sliding inside my panties. His lips leave a trail of wet kisses on the side of my neck.
He massages my wetness with his fingers and pushes them in slowly, curling them until he presses down against my sweet spot. Some breathy moans escape my lips.
“I love the face you make when you moan for me,” JJ murmurs, his comment almost makes me feel embarrassed, but fuck, his lips against my neck, the way he’s pleasuring me with those skillful fingers of his, it’s too good to feel awkward about.
“Always so wet for me, I need to taste you,” JJ whispers in my ears “You want my mouth on you?”
I lazily nod.
He sinks to his knees and wrenches my legs apart, I lean on the corner of the table as JJ grabs my leg and holds it on top of his shoulders. I see him peering up at me as I tangle my hands over his hair.
I let out a hoarse "Yes." as JJ wraps his mouth on my pussy. He licks my clit with soft, teasing strokes, driving me wild with desire. He takes his time, building up my pleasure and making me beg for more. "JJ, please don't stop," I whimper. As if it was an order, JJ fastens the tempo, the more noise and movement I make, the more eager JJ gets with his mouth.
His groans against my skin makes me squirm, my vision was blurry til he withdrew his fingers out of me.
“I’m sorry, but you will finish with me inside of you princess,” He asks as he pushes me in front of the mirror. “I want to look at your face when I slam deep inside you.”
I nod. At this point, I just need to feel him.
“I’ll let you do anything if you just fuck me JJ.”
JJ chuckles, his underwear falls to the floor, his thick cock points up as he gives it a few pumps. The sight of his cock running through his palms makes me crazy. I hunch over, my body leans against the mirror, both of my palms pressed firmly against the glass.
JJ gives my ass a slap before rubbing his length in between my legs.
“Look at us,” He commands huskily
My eyes land on myself, bent over with my legs spread open, my mouth hangs open feeling JJ slowly push against my hole. Looking at JJ, he has his lower lip caught between his teeth, and his eyes are devouring my reflection through his lashes.
“Watch me fuck you from behind,”
My moan is instant as JJ buries himself deeper inside me, his hands gripping tightly around my waist. His thrust gets progressively faster. My sex clutches around him every time he fills me up. There’s no more “teasing” and also there’s nothing graceful about the pounds he gave me.
“Fuck yes,” JJ grunts against my neck.
It’s all moaning, slapping, and slurping sounds filling the bedroom right now, our sweaty bodies slamming each other without a pause.
I feel getting close to reaching that blissful feeling, I take JJ’s hand and place it between my legs. He knows exactly the amount of pressure to put it in because when he strokes it frantically, I'm closer than ever.
“yes, yes, yes”
"Come for me, look how good you take me." JJ stares deeply at me
I almost can’t support my body, every muscle inside me tenses up as I feel his cock pulse, the pleasure builds inside me until finally, it explodes, melting my body.
JJ buries his face in the crook of my neck, trembling against my body as he climaxes as well.
He keeps pumping inside of me, my pussy contracting milking his shaft as he pulls out.
"I've been looking forward to this all day, you have no right being this hot princess," JJ holds me giving me a kiss.
“Gosh, we are so doing that again,”
⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯
✧˚ . taglist ˚✧ (join here): @loverofmarsss
⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯
© maybank-archives 2023 — no one has permission to copy or translate any of my works, if you see any of my work being reproduced in another platform please contact me! :)
#jj maybank#rudy pankow#jj mayback imagine#outerbanks#obx#obximagines#obx headcanon#outer banks#outerbanks headcanon#jj maybank headcanon#jj obx#jj outerbanks#maybank#jj maybank smut#headcanon#fanfic#jj maybank x you#jj maybank x reader#jj maybank x y/n#jj maybank imagine#jj maybank blurb#jj outer banks#obx x reader#obx x you#obx x y/n#obx smut#obx imagine#obx blurb#outer banks x reader#outer banks smut
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Establishing the Monocracy
~(Brat!Reader x Bakugou)~
Words: 3.4k
Rating: 🌊 18+, Smut
Warnings/Tags: cunnilingus, teasing, slight degradation
Notes: I was writing this req and just got inspired cuz Bakugou. Ended up being somewhat a preface to my Down with the Monocracy (which ofc is not a req reading to enjoy this)
<><>~~~~~~~<><>~~~~~~~🌹 ~~~~~~<><>~~~~~~~<><>
“Ohhh~! Yeah baby, right there!! So good!!”
The obnoxious moaning of the actress through your phone’s speakers made Bakugou quickly turn around from his desk to glare bullets into you. You were sitting on his bed, looking nonchalantly at the events transpiring on the screen.
The two of you were supposed to go out later to hangout with friends so you stopped by his place to kill time. Two hours of time. A normal occurrence for you considering you liked to annoy your friend-and-rival whenever you could, and admittedly his surprisingly cozy room was comfortable to just laze around in. Usually you’d read manga while he did whatever but Mina had sent you a rather vulgar clip with the caption ‘how i hope my night ends 😝😝!!’.
“Oi! What the fuck are you looking at in my room?! Turn that shit off!” More than the fact that you were boldly watching porn in his vicinity, he was more perplexed at how you were still playing the video after he called you out. “Why the fuck are you watching that?!”
“I just don’t get it.” Scratching your head, you continued to look quizzingly at the actress’ performance. “I mean, people actually find this stuff arousing?”
“Are you just gonna ignore my question?!”
“Oh my goodness, calm down. Mina sent me a video. She’s acting like its the hottest thing ever but it isn’t entertaining at all.” You rolled your eyes before concentrating once more on your phone’s screen.
Finding it useless to ask if it was normal for friends to send porn to each other he instead questioned just what you were looking at to elicit such a response from you.
“What? You used to some kind of extravagant sex or some shit?”
“No. Rather what’s happening here is extravagant. Literally no one does this in real life. It’s so unrealistic.”
A million questions ran through Bakugou’s head at this moment. Why were you watching porn in his room? What the fuck kind of porn is so bizarre that a deviant like you is confused? And Jesus were to trying to start something right now? Was he literally in a shitty porn introduction and didn’t know it?
“Fuck~!! Hyahhh!! I’m gonna cummm~~!!!”
The sounds of the video continued to penetrate through Bakugou’s room. Mentally he was annoyed at the fact that he just wanted to get ahead on some paperwork before going out and your idiocy was preventing that, but physically the boner that was rising in his pants was only more and more intrigued. The woman he’d been undressing with his eyes for longest of times was now in his room, laying on his bed, watching porn.
“I mean seriously, only an idiot could think guys do this.”
“What the hell crazy shit are you looking at??”
“That thing that’s in like every porn. Where the guy is like licking her down there. Cunnilingus, if you will.”
Bakugou raised his eyebrow at you. “You mean eating pussy?”
“Oh my god…you’re so vulgar.” Rolling your eyes, you turned on your side, back faced towards Bakugou.
“You’re the fucking one in my room watching-“ As he glanced at your figure, he wondered just what the fuck you were getting at. Were you weirdly trying to seduce him? By playing porn and then pretending as if you were inexperienced in oral sex just for his sexual interest in you to pique? Were you trying to sexually outsmart him? Bakugou chuckled as he got up and walked towards you. “You think you’re so fucking sneaky, huh?”
You felt the increasing weight on the bed as Bakugou pressed his knee into the mattress to close his torso in on you. “What?” Quirking your eyebrow and turning towards him, you pondered his sudden shift in demeanor.
“Don’t fucking play dumb. I know what you’re doing.” Bakugou gripped his fingers around the collar of your shirt, forcing you to directly face him. “Since you pissed me off, I’m not doing shit with you even if you asked nicely.” He let go of you to walk back toward his desk, slumping himself in the chair. “Pretending like guys aren’t lining up to worship your pussy with their tongue just to get me to pity you. Pathetic.”
You paused as you analyzed his mood. Clearly he was upset at you, but you didn’t have the slightest idea why. “I agree that I should be worshipped but I don’t quite understand what you’re talking about.”
Bakugou clicked his tongue and shot a glare at you. “There’s no fucking way you’re gonna sit here and tell me some loser hasn’t been down on you. Didn’t you just get out of a relationship?”
“Mmm…yeah.”
“And you fucked, yeah?”
“We had sexual relations, yes.”
“And he never went down on you?”
“No. He said it wasn’t necessary.”
“W-What?”
“Well, he said since I’m quote-on-quote, horny all the time, it wasn’t necessary.”
Bakugou knew you were a trickster of sorts, but the way you just nonchalantly talked about your bitch of a boyfriend like it was normal told him you weren’t lying. Did someone like you, the prissiest, most self-absorbed chick in the universe really date someone who wouldn’t go down on you. Fuck, did you miss out.
Or rather, the bastard missed out.
Some snobbish prick didn’t hop on the chance to make you squirm under them? The one chance they’d probably have in asserting their rightful dominance over you, and they were too fucking stupid to not take it? It’d be a lie to say that when Bakugou saw those soft plushy thighs of yours peeking out from under your tight skirts he didn’t fantasize about the dripping mess he could create underneath.
Hell, you practically put your pussy on display whenever you wore those so-called ‘athletic’ shorts that helped you move faster as you’d claim. Bullshit. As if you weren’t tempting every loser in your vicinity with those faint imprints of your pussy lips through those shorts. Fuck, if he had known the whole time you were dating that piece of shit that he wasn’t going down on you, he would’ve fucking shown you what you were missing out on.
Well he wasn’t going to make the same shitty mistake as your boyfriend.
With a small curl of his lips, he cocked an eyebrow towards you. “You wanna find out what you missed out on?”
“Huh?”
“What your shitty ex was too stupid to not do, you want me to do it?”
After taking a moment to process Bakugou’s advances, you erupted into laughter. “No way!”
“Why the fuck are you laughing?!” Here he was, practically stripping his ego away for you, and you were just going to laugh in his face? Refusing his incredibly generous offer? Nevermind the sadistic value he’d receive from having you completely fall apart under him, it was still you who’d reap most the benefits.
You wiped a tear from the corner of your eye, trying to stifle your snickers. “Okay, and I suppose you’re going to make me scream obnoxiously like the girl in that video, are you?” You face turned from amused to stern. “Unfortunately for you, I’ve already had sex and its nothing like what’s portrayed in that silly pornography. I’m sure it’s the same for- what do you call it? ‘Going down’? So, don’t even waste my time, Bakugou.”
Bakugou chuckled at your ignorance. Not only had you not had the pleasure of your pussy being smothered by some bastard’s tongue, but he wasn’t even fucking you properly? You poor thing. Honestly, he was a little offended you were only just now relaying this information onto him.
While you were trying to go back to whatever random things you were doing on your phone before Mina interrupted you, Bakugou strode back over to his bed, this time climbing on top of it, maneuvering your thighs so that he’d be seated between them.
“Oh no, did I awaken the challenger part of you? I’ve said what I said now get off.” You tried to kick you foot at him but he caught your ankle in his grip.
“Going against your weak excuse of a boyfriend is hardly a challenge, princess.”
“Oh ho-ho, so getting me to actually feel pleasure from what-ever you’re about to do is the challenge?”
“That’s not a challenge either.”
Sucking your teeth, you hastily took off your skirt and spread your thighs for him. “Fine. You have one chance, Ba-KA-gou.”
“Tch. Just do me favor and-“ Bakugou placed your hands around your knees and further spread your thighs apart. “keep ‘em fuckin’ spread.”
Rolling your eyes, you silently complied. You weren’t shy in the least about your body but the way Bakugou was intently zeroing in on the clothed folds of your pussy made your breath a bit shaky.
Just when you were about to say something about his odd silence you felt the soft peck of his lips on your thigh. That peck was slowly followed by another, this time slightly closer to your center. As you tried to ease your breathing each peck made you more wet than the previous. By the time Bakugou was at the lining of your panties, you were practically pooling through the fabric. Smirking at your trembling he looked up at you.
“Shy?”
“N-No! You’re just incredibly slow. I bet you’re just h-hesitating because you don’t know how to- Owwch!” Bakugou had sunk his teeth into the softness of your thighs. Not enough to break skin, but enough to make you kick your heel into his back in retaliation. “What was that for?! You brute!”
“You’re getting on me about going slow but you’ve been the one wasting everyone’s time, Y/N.” He stroked the tip of his index finger along the slit of your panties, making more of your juices spill through the fabric. “Dating some shitty asshole when you could’ve been wetting this glorious cock the whole time.” He circled his finger around the clothed hood of your clit, reveling in the broken whimpers you couldn’t help but let out. “So now I’m gonna take allll the fucking time I want. So just lay there and try to make this a challenge for me.”
Bakugou then wrapped his lips around your pussy, soaking his saliva through your panties. He wasn’t even directly touching you but the rampant motions of his hot tongue through the now drenched cloth made your hips squirm underneath him. He went back and forth from licking to sucking you over your panties, pausing when you quivered too much or moaned too loud. He didn’t want to accidentally make you cum before his main act.
Unconsciously, you had let go of your knees to glide your fingers through his spikey locks, slightly pulling him forward as if he’d be able to ghost his tongue through your panties. He looked back up at you, pleased with your erotically joyous face.
“Didn’t I tell you to keep your hands there? You’re distracting me.”
Letting out a noise somewhere between a scoff and a whine, you re-placed your hands around your knees.
“So surprisingly obedient.” Bakugou slipped his finger around the crotch of your panties, gliding his knuckle around your swelled clit. “Probably because you’re just desperate to have your pussy played with. What a slut.” He increased the pressure of his knuckle around your clit and the feeling of it made you lean your head back against Bakugou’s pillows. “How about you tell me what you want, princess?”
Regulating your breathing enough to form a sentence you rose your head again to meet his vermillion eyes. “G-Go down on me. Prick.”
“Go? Huh? Where? In a car? Fucking clarify.”
You clicked your tongue and turned your head, annoyed at his feigning. Seeing as how you’d require a little encouragement, Bakugou pressed a kiss against clothed pussy, rubbing the tip of his nose where your clit would lie directly underneath. “C’mon. You’re college educated, right? Use your fucking vocabulary.”
You slowly turned your head towards him, the twitching agitation of your eyebrows only fueling him more. “Will you perform cunnil-“
“Finish that sentence and I’m leaving.”
Not wanting to test him on that threat, you reluctantly parted your lips. “…Eat my…” Bakugou licked stripe along your completely soaked panties, stopping to wiggle the tip his tongue against where your clit would be. “Mmnnn~…my pussy...”
“What? Can you fucking speak up? You can present shit in front of a whole audience but now you’re being as quiet as a damn mouse.”
“F-fuck…Bakugou. Damn you.” Your eyes became watery at the mix of humiliation and pressing desire to be touched directly. Were you really going to soil your ego for this bag of cockiness? Surely it wasn’t worth it. Is what your mind would probably say. But right now, your pussy wore the crown. And the queen was craving attention. “I want you to- to e-eat my pussy.”
Bakugou placed another bite on your inner thigh making your body jolt. “Can’t even add a damn ‘please’ to that? I’m sure your type was taught manners.”
“Pleeaassee~ Fuck! Please eat my pussy, Bakugou!”
A small burst of laughter left him as he slapped your thigh. “Well take ‘em off, princess.”
Begrudgingly taking off your panties, a shiny string of your wetness that connected you with the fabric broke as you threw them on the floor. Reassuming the previous positioning of your thighs, your now bare pussy was left open and vulnerable to your rival.
He leaned down to hover over your pussy, his nose trickling against the hood of your clit. You were already so wet for him. Your pussy was just glistening with juices that begged for tending to. Steadying his position between your thighs he glanced at you one more time. “You better not move.” He then licked a stripe up your folds, stimulating your clit in the process.
“Hyaah~!” The feeling was too much for your somewhat-inexperienced pussy and caused you to involuntarily push Bakugou back with your feet. The annoyance of being stopped was promptly displaced with satisfaction as he peered at your pitiful form.
“What did I just fuckin’ say? Open your legs again.” His voice that was rasp with frustration didn’t match his look of sadistic gratification. You were giving him just the reaction he wanted. Did you really think your meek little pussy was any match for him? He had barely touched you and this is how you’re acting? And the fact you were still hesitating on presenting that little pussy to him again only drove him more eager to ravish you.
“Dammit, Y/N. Do I have to do every fucking thing?” Bakugou pulled you up by the waist so that you were in a piledriver-like position, with your back arched and ass raised in the air, and of course your pussy now directly presented up towards him. The crook of your neck was nothing compared to his tight grip around your hips, the squish of your flesh plunging from between his fingers. You couldn’t even use your legs to fight against him as his grip was too secure. “All I’m doing for you, and you can’t even follow simple fucking directions.
“’C-Cuz it felt too-Hmmnngh~!” You were cut off by the ravaging of Bakugou’s tongue over your pussy folds. He went back and forth from slurping up your juices to flicking his tongue over and over on your clit. If you weren’t already embarrassed by the position you were in, the absolute filthy sounds Bakugou was making with his mouth were achieving that. “Hnnggh~Baku…Bakugou!” You tried flailing your legs around in the air but Bakugou quickly grasped them in his hands.
He ran his nails down the silky surface of your thighs, making for a sweetly masochistic pleasure mixed with his obscene lapping at your pussy. Continuing his gorging on your sweet pussy, he could feel you shaking from below him. He looked down below at your face, chucking into your pussy at how wretchedly delirious you looked.
“Gonna cum?” You vehemently shook your head no despite the swelling you felt within your pelvis. He slithered his hands down to glide them up your shirt, lifting up your bra above your soft breasts. “Well I’m not fucking stopping until you do. So give me something to play with until then.”
Bakugou roughly kneaded at your breasts between his fingers, squeezing them to hear your pitchy whines at the pain. The mix of his saliva and your slippery essence drooled from your pussy to pool at your tummy and breasts. He gathered a bit of the mixture and slicked his fingers in circles on your nipples. The erotic feeling of it sent a surge of pleasure straight to your pussy. “Ahahnn~ Bakugou…I-I’m gonna cumm~”
He locked eyes with you, continuing to slick his tongue around your clit. “From what?” Boosting your urgency to reply, he pinched a little harder at your nipples. “Tell me what you’re gonna cum from, princess.”
“F-From you eating my pussy~! From Katsuki eating my pussy~!!” The sounds of hearing you use his name for the first time made him pink in the cheeks and twitch in his boxers. Bakugou came up from between your hips, enticed to make you say more lewd things. You were rarely one to speak vulgarly so he’d make the best of your blissed-out state.
“Ahaha-! You sound like those silly pornos!” Not thinking your face could feel even more hot, you felt your cheeks rise with even more heat at his teasing. Bakugou took one of the hands from your breasts and palmed it against your slippery folds. “You still think every guy is like your stupid fucking ex, Y/N?” He ran his palm back and forth against your slit to keep you right on the edge of an orgasm.
“Noo~! Katsuki is so m-much better! Katsuki is sooo much better than my stupid ex~!”
He chuckled at your admittance, but of course, he couldn’t leave it there. “I’m kinda the fuckin’ best, aren’t I?”
“Hmmnn~! Yesss! ~the best! K-Katsuki is the bessst~!”
“You wanna cum on my tongue?”
“Please! Please let me-! Please let me cum on your tongue, Katsuki~!”
“You better fuckin’ listen to me and stay still, then. And don’t look away from me.”
Bakugou threw you back on the bed before lying on his stomach to place himself once more at your quivering pussy. Making sure your eyes were locked with his, he enveloped your folds within his mouth, sucking directly on your clit. He not only feasted on your pussy, but on the entranced look in your eyes. Your e/c eyes that looked at him like he was the only one that could gratify your carnal desires.
And from now on, he’d be sure he was the only one.
You gripped your fingers at the bed sheets beneath you as your orgasm rapidly creeped up on you. The intensity of Bakugou’s tongue coupled with his eye contact was sending you over the edge more fiercely than any pathetic ex or cheap sex toy ever could. “Ohhhmygodd~ Fuckkk-! I’m cumming! I’m cumming! I’m cumming! I’m-“
Forced to break eye contact with the unconscious jerk of your head back on the pillows, your pussy convulsed violently around Bakugou’s tongue. “Katsukiii~!” If you had to say, this was the most powerful orgasm you’d ever experienced. All at the hands- or tongue rather- of Bakugou Katsuki. Your ego would surely be disappointed in you choosing your pussy over it.
Bakugou slowly licked his tongue up and down your folds as you came down from your high. The corners of his lips lifted into a devious smile at your disheveled appearance. When your body finally stopped trembling, he completely separated his mouth from you and slid his body on top of yours to be face-to-face with you.
Silently, without care of you still gasping for air, he pressed his lips against yours, eventually intensifying the kiss with the slip of his tongue between your lips. Happily obliging, you glided your tongue against his as your fingers slithered up to once again fumble with his locks of hair. The taste of you on his tongue almost seemed sensual as you wrapped your legs around his waist.
Sliding his hand up to gently grip at your jaw, he separated his lips from yours, licking away the chain of saliva that still connected the two of you. As he sat upright to take his shirt off, he looked down at you, embellished with yearning to relieve his own build-up.
“Should I prove you wrong on fucking too before we hang out with those losers?”
<><>~~~~~~~<><>~~~~~~~🌹 ~~~~~~<><>~~~~~~~<><>
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Hi, I just really wanted to rant about something and I don’t really want to talk about it with anyone I know irl so…
My dad is just a normal guy in every sense of the word, good and bad. One thing that’s bothered me for a while now is how I recognized he talks to my mom and while it’s not degrading, it’s just entitled and annoying.
Since my brother and I were born, she quit her job to take care of us so he’s been the one primarily earning money. This arrangement hasn’t put our family in any type of financial jeopardy at all, we live in a nice house in a nice area and his job combined with the money he makes from his previous service in the military makes him around 150k a year. One thing I’d like to note is that he works a normal 8 to 5 job. But for a year or so the majority of his company has switched to a12 hours day so they get a three day weekend every week.
Now I know you may be wondering what money has to do with any of this and I promise that I’ll get to that part I’m just really angry and need to get this all off of my chest.
Anyways, my mom started working again 2-3 years ago at his request and now she works AND does all the stereotypical motherly things (cooks dinner, cleans, any other odd jobs that need to be done around the house)
All the while my mom has been doing this, my dad does his 12 hour days (including lunch in those 12 hours) and he’s allowed to take 10 minute breaks and most often times watch tv in the background while he’s working (he’s been working from home since COVID and doesn’t have any plans to go back since his job is mostly on the computer anyways other than a couple in-person meetings a month)
After my dad is done with work, he basically retires for the night and just watches tv while waiting for mom to serve him whatever food or leftovers she’s put on a plate for him.
Now, I get to the current issue.
My mom doesn’t ask for much or even anything from him in terms of helping her. But there are just some things that make me angry when he says them.
In the past couple of weeks for pretty much the 1st consistent time since March, my dad started walking and exercising again which he does outside or in the garage. My father has naturally oily skin, and even if he didn’t, he is exercising so his skin will be sticky and sweaty! RIGHT!?!?!
However when my mom brought it up a couple days ago she didn’t even say what we both were thinking which was YOU STINK AND ARE THEREFORE MAKING THE HOUSE STINK!!!
Instead, she politely asked if he would take a shower since he worked out and specificied that she was telling him this out of love without even mentioning him stinking up the house or more specifically the kitchen that he was in.
Instead of understanding that exercise makes you sweat and sweat makes you smell, he snarkelly shot back, that he had something to tell her out of love too. And although he trailed off with a cocky laugh, the context of the situation and his numerous past suggestions obviously implied that he was talking about my mom’s weight.
I would like to specify that my mother is not obese or unhealthy, in fact she eats considerably less junk food than he does. And even if she was, it did not prompt my dad making that “joke”.
Now fast forward a few minutes, my mom and I left to go grocery shopping for the food she would make for him without him even having to lift a finger. She ranted to me that him needing to take a shower had nothing to do with her weight. From what she was saying I could tell that she wasn’t that angry about what he said about her weight, but more so about him deflecting the conversation from his smellyness to her (which is something he does often so he doesn’t look like the “bad guy”)
Now to today, my father once again “joked” with my mom when asked if he would honestly like to help her blow dry her hair (I say honestly because she wanted his honest opinion on whether he would like to do it or not, and it was something she never really needs help with but she wanted to spend time with him) he said that he needs to consult the “guy’s handbook” to figure out if that was a trick question. (My father is 55 years old and they’ve been married for 30 something years)
I’m sure there’s a psychological reason why I got so angry at him but I’m not going to settle that I was once again tired that he treated my mom like crap despite her doing everything for him. So I told him that my mom was being serious and it wasn’t a trick question.
I (kinda) knew that he knew this, and was trying to make a joke. But explaining it was my version of the whole “I don’t understand your ‘joke’ please explain it to me” in an attempt to discourage him from making it again.
But in an event that I would have seen coming if I wasn’t so angry, it didn’t work and he instead got mad at me. Recognizing that I could have handled the situation better, I just apologized however I was crying because of his rant that I wasn’t a part of the conversation and shouldn’t have stepped in . (I normally wouldn’t be so sensitive but for some reason it’s like everytime I have a family argument it’s that time of the month so I’m emotionally sensitive)
I retreated back into my room and apparently I wasn’t crying as quietly as I thought I was because be he then knocked on my door, then demanded that I come out and “spend time with him” so he could know what was wrong.
Now, I thought this was code for I’m going to apologize, but no… he literally didn’t understand that his words hurt my feelings and demanded that I tell him what was “really” wrong as if him yelling at me wasn’t a good enough reason to be crying.
After curtly telling him what was wrong in so many words as to not offend him further. He dryly apologized before defending himself and saying that it wasn’t his fault that I got angry and he was just trying to make a joke that he insisted would apparently be funny if I didn’t cut in. Then he dryly promised that he would try to treat my mother nicer and not make as many “jokes” because he can tell how much it affects me.
There is probably more to the story that I forgot to leave out. And I kinda want to know if I’m in the wrong in the situation or not. And reading back over this i am definitely biased but if you can manage to remove the emotion from my words then those are honestly the facts about what happened.
I recognize that I am selfish, he actually told me that one, but looking back over my life I know that I have been rude when “defending” my mom. I put it in quotations because my mom doesn’t need defending and she is more than capable to speaking up when there’s a big problem.
But I just get annoyed at people when they rudely deny her some of the smaller things she requests like help blow drying her hair and things she won’t insist on them helping on. I’d understand if kindly said no thanks or I can’t do it right now, but he just had to joke about it and be curt in his response for no reason.
All in all I’m just so angry that it is impossible for him to acknowledge what he did wrong without defending that actions that make someone sad or angry in the first place.
But anyways, I am extremely sorry for the rant and writing so much and I honestly don’t blame you if you didn’t even read all of this. I just wanted to tell someone and I love how your blog is so open and judgement free and you don’t act like you have all the answers of what is right or wrong but you just give your opinion and help when you can. Thanks so much for listening (reading, really) and I appreciate you so much!
baby, you didn’t do ANYTHING wrong. you are the opposite of selfish — your dad was being a fucking dick to your mom and you stood up for her. you had every right to be angry, and if i were you, i would’ve said some low blow, disrespectful, kick-me-out-of-the-house ass shit.
i think (respectfully) you’re over analyzing yourself to find fault in yourself when it isn’t really there in my opinion. he’s complaining that you’re rude when he was the rude one and you literally just defending your mom. being rude is like “you stinky piece of shit, im gonna fucking drown you in bleach and lets see you make another fuckin comment BITCH”
but you did not do that therefore his argument is invalid. i can only say so much because it’s you in the thick of it but it definitely seems like your dad’s arrogant and entitled personality is so overbearing that it makes you be harder on yourself than you should be. i think, legally, you should get hit him once with a bat, non lethally of course (unless….. haha…?). i just know personally dealing with that personality type can create a LOT of contained anger.
anyway, im rly sorry you have to deal w him. i feel like you have a lot of weight on your shoulders and you seem so sweet and nice and you do not deserve to have to give your energy to that :(
#i would’ve said some vile things i wouldve said things that would make him disown me#i would poured a little rat posion in his drink just enough to make him sick not to like kill yknow#if it isn’t clear I… I have a lot of violent feelings and am a little… insane#ILU AND IM SORRY U HAD TO DEAL W THAT#q answers
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It's just me or even when it about to Jeralt's death, Captain draws focus to Edelgard suffering from SS vision and his friends' "betrayal" more than I don't know, Byleth struggle, thanks to Divine Pulse (Sothis), for saving her father from being killed by the allies of Edelgard, I'm so fucking surprised. Again, Captain wants reader to forget all that wasn't a poor little girl and her suffering because of the Universe / Crete / Dimitri / Rhea / her actions which she feels so guilty about (wait, no, Edelgard is perfect, so it wasn't her actions) TWSITD actions which she feels so guilty of being an ally (wait, no, she is too good for them) to be associated and collaborated with them but never have anything to do in direct relation (oh shit, I forgot Kronya).
More seriously, as a person who hates Claude, in canon or in fanon, I like to listen to others, like you, talk about him. It's a reminder that he wasn't a stupidly naive evil character, it's just his writing that I don't like and that helps me understand why I have issues with characters from other fadoms. So thank you, I hate him but I know why and I can understand why you love him without becoming like the Edelstans with Dimitri and Rhea.
This fic annoys me but your comment, for humor or inconsistent writing, make this thing bearable and you, and other blog/post, helps me to take a step back on my ability to analyze a character.
So all my love that my introvert heard dare to send.
It's like!! Nothing can ever not be about Edelgard in this fic! Byleth has her father brutally murdered in front of her, but no, because she desperately tried to save him with multiple Divine Pulses, it's Edelgard whose "suffering" we have to focus on. Byleth witnessing one of the worst things a person can go through - watching actually helplessly as the parent they love is violently murdered - fuckin' plays second fiddle to Edelgard experiencing the fuckin' consequences of her shitty actions! Because the author gave her shitty """visions""" that are connected to Byleth's Divine Pulse, we have to sit through someone else's suffering be all about Edlegard AGAIN!
Ashe with Lonato? All about Edelgard. Sylvain with Miklan? All about Edelgard. Remire's survivors? All about Edelgard. Byleth with Jeralt? All about Edelgard, it always always always has to be about Edelgard Edelgard Edelgard. God for-fuckin'-bid that she not be the center of the world for one minute. God for-fuckin'-bid she gives a shit about how anyone other than herself feels.
But noooo, see, she feels bad and cares so so much and she hurts so so so much from how much she so so so so so so cares about people guys!! Look how often characters say Edelgard is a good person, that must mean it's true! Nevermind that she literally only ever puts in the bare minimum effort to show care for anyone ever, she's so caring and nice and she feels so sad and she's so lonely and the world and Goddess are out to get her and she's in so much figurative and literal pain every day and everyone is just pushing her around and she's just a poor little girl victimized by all the evil people of the world don't you just feel so bad for her :(
But off of that, thank you so much!! While I'm sad I couldn't change your mind on ma boi, I'm glad I could give a nice perspective on him! And I'm glad you're enjoying the notes, happy to make this fic bearable lol. Thanks again!! 💞
#ask#anon#o captain my captain#exqueuese me princess#happy to know you're liking the notes! and glad I could help out any! :)
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this is what happens when u enable me lets go
(spoilers ahoy)
Firstly, here’s some somewhat miscellaneous reasons that don’t contribute to any sort of narrative analysis but are still parts of the character I like.
His boss fight is my favorite in the game thus far. It’s not super hard, but it isn’t super easy either, and I even managed to solo it on my Balance after a few practice rounds. Sufficiently challenging without feeling unfair.
His boss fight music. It is a bop and a half, go give it a listen, my soul ascends from my body a few centimeters every time I hear it start up.
His voice. I’m sure it’s processed at least a little but gotdamn his voice is so deep and spooky it startled me when I first heard it. Very curious who his actor is; I think he and Inyanga Whitestripes share the same one. Either way, very well voiced and acted.
His design is very good. It’s the perfect mix of innocuous but also spooky sorcerer fella who knows some shit. And I was afraid that the designers would try and make him like. Handsome? Under the hood? To try and make him more sympathetic? But they didn’t and I’m glad for it.
With those out of the way, the next thing to establish, I guess: I don’t interpret Old Cob to be the main villain of arc 3, nor do I interpret Raven as such. They’re definitely antagonists, but they’re not the ultimate problem; the ultimate problem is their divorce, and how they keep dragging people into their bs. It’s established the Aethyr is a physical manifestation of their anger towards each other, and as it thins, communication between them becomes possible, as Sparck puts it in this thinly veiled metaphor toward the start of Empyrea part 2.
But Cob’s still an antagonist and I love him so I’m gonna talk about that. Most of this is going to be talking about his motivations for doing what he does, since I don’t see him quite as the ‘likes to watch the world burn for the hell of it’ archetype that others might.
One of the reasons that drew me to his character is how legit his gripe is, when put in perspective. Old Cob- or Grandfather Spider, if you prefer- is not a mortal like the other antagonists of previous arcs, which establishes he has a different thought process right off the bat. This new universe was built on his suffering and he has a grudge against the ex wife who made it, so as a god, it makes some sense he’d try to destroy it and build one he would like better. He’s fully aware that what he is doing will hurt people but decidedly doesn’t care, and I appreciate that so much. He’s chaotic as fuck and he owns it, along with his superiority complex that’s as wide as the day is long.
Yet his reasoning is like. Weirdly understandable? Like, if my ex-whatever put me in jail for a lifetime sentence and stole my kidney to pay for a new house or something, I too would go apeshit and want my fuckin kidney back. That’s mostly how I interpret his situation. He’s not doing this for hell of it, he’s doing it because he wants to get back at his ex because he’s bitter and petty and for the most part he knows this but he feels justified in doing do because she ripped out his goddamn kidney- I mean heart, and he wants that back.
And then, even after all that, he and his magic are treated as if they’re inherently evil. While, sure, Shadow is a ‘dark magic’, its actual properties aren’t anything malicious by itself. It is described as “a magic that changes reality,” and that’s it. Incredibly exploitable and you should practice caution while handling it, but used correctly it is powerful and helpful; this is likely alluding to the backlash mechanic, where likes decrease the percent of damage you take, dislikes increase the percent, and I imagine the person meant to be the literal embodiment of the magic in question to be similar in nature: not inherently harmful and lashes out if he feels he’s been mistreated.
Going off that, I’m not sure he ever wanted the FirstWorld to be destroyed, and therefore believes his incarceration to be entirely unjust; he doesn’t deny that he instigated the fight between the Titans, but when it comes to being accused of its actual destruction, he gets angry.
...Okay the written text doesn’t really display how mad he got here, but he was like. Big Angy. Super offended. Honestly, a big part of why I love and analyze the hell out of his character comes from how his VA delivers his lines and his voice in general. If you haven’t heard it for some reason, I recommend looking it up. Anyway, here he’s basically saying he didn’t destroy the First World, and even if he did, he’s suffered enough punishment because of it, to my interpretation. The only one I remember blaming him for it is Raven; Bartleby was there, and I don’t recall him blaming anything other than the Titans for it. This is of course not accounting for the various changes made to the lore since he was introduced, but they could have easily thrown in a line like ‘And now Spider plans to destroy the Spiral the way he destroyed the FirstWorld!’ or something to make it clear it was done intentionally.
And this may very well be straying into headcanon territory here, but I think he holds positive relationships very closely to him, even if things went sour in the end; he clearly still has some remaining affection for the Titans, calling them ‘the children’ and being incredibly angry at Raven for forcing one of them to destroy his Heart.
When Rat loses in Polaris he shows up to praises his efforts and even comfort him, in his own weird way. He reprimanded Scorpion in Mirage, but it’s because Scorpion wasn’t doing what his dad asked him to and got his ass kicked as a result. As for Bat, every time they’re in the same room together he pays him some sort of compliment.
Bat claims that he and his brothers are meant to be his tools, and to some extent that’s true, but he also genuinely cares about them, and it’s really interesting to see a villain defect from the usual ‘not caring about anyone other than themselves’ and openly show affection for his kids while still managing to be an incredible asshole.
In line with this is his relationship with the Wizard. There is, of course, a foundation of manipulation to their dynamic, at least to some degree. I thoroughly believe that Spider was overshadowing Coleridge, at least partly, so our character could bust him out of prison.
And while this is happening, he regains some of his spent power and removes threats to it as well, namely Morganthe, using the Wizard’s help. In fact, I have very little doubt that he was at least partially responsible for her fall; his timing on that two-liner was too on the nose.
But even with that, I think he genuinely treasures the Wizard’s help and company, which is why he attempts on four different occasions to either sway them to his side, or warn them away from what he’s doing.
Boy, I want that vacation, but it’s your fault I’m here.
And then, of course, his relationship with Raven, something that is basically a summation of his character arc. Laden with baggage and tragic in concept, it is my belief that most of what he’s doing isn’t because he genuinely hates the Spiral or he wants to get back at her, but because he loved her and treasured their relationship; so upon her mistreating him, he lashed out at everything she’d made and detested it as a result. But only because he felt betrayed and hurt so he has to inflict that on other people because he is, as aforementioned, a petty and bitter old fuck.
Moving off that line of thinking, an admirable quality he possesses is how smart he is. This guy has so many wrinkles in his brain it must look like a raisin. Well, perhaps not ‘smart’ exactly, but how good he is at manipulating certain situations to his advantage. Like in Mirage; you just know that he was fully expecting Mellori to be there and fully planned to use her as a back up plan, or you could even argue that the whole debacle in Mirage was a ploy to get his hands on her, while having the added possible benefit of things actually working out.
Actually his scheme in Mirage was really interesting now that I think about it. His aim was to turn back time to when the FirstWorld was whole, further implying that he never wanted its destruction in the first place. It would also, of course, be a time where he had his Heart and would have the ability to avoid having it ripped out again. This would involve not having the Titans fight each other again, or at least not starting it and suffering the consequences. It would be everything he wanted to achieve knocked out in one go with minimal muss or fuss, compared to other methods. It’s probably a part of why he shows up personally to bargain with Eerkala and the Cabal, and why he directly intervenes in our Wizard’s efforts to stop him; it was too important to trust to any of his kids, so knowing Scorpion probably wouldn’t have been able to execute it anyway, he used his kid as a distraction for the most part.
I also like looking into the fact that his element, besides Shadow, is Storm, as opposed to pure Shadow or Death, as most major antagonists are. Storm is a school based on invention, experimentation and improvement. This is something that interests me for two reasons: one, the magic of major antagonists is always a part of their character, Malistaire the most blatantly, and two, because of this line he says in Mirage.
To my interpretation, this would imply that he sees the Spiral as something that could be improved. And as a god, he would of course find it his obligation to try and fix this flaw. When he made the barter with the Cabal, I don’t doubt he was being at least partially honest about restoring the FirstWorld; it would certainly fix the flaw it has in the context of stealing his internal organs, but he would also probably seek to improve it, make it more suited to Shadow or something.
Something else I find intriguing is how weirdly honest he is; I don’t recall him ever lying to us once, unless you count omitting certain facts as lying. But that’s absolutely something I can see him using against people, like “I didn’t lie to you, I just didn’t tell you, your fault for not asking ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ .” As said before, he;s really good at manipulating people and he weaponizes whatever he can; @that-wizard-oki made a really great post about how he uses conflicts- his fault or not- to his advantage, and does his own thing in the background without interruption, Mirage and Neumia probably being the best example of this, with Scorpion and the Cabal serving as distractions while he either carries out things himself or gives instructions.
To pull all of this together narratively, I think it’s important to consider this line from Mellori during one of their confrontations:
He feels powerless, so he puffs up his god status. He has little power to fight with, compared to before, so he mostly manipulates and creates back-up plans while causing conflicts to serve as distractions. His love hurt him, so he lashes out at others and drags them into his problems.
You may ask, “But Sam, these are all bad qualities, why should we like him because of this?” And I would respond “Because it makes him a complex and interesting antagonist.” The kind of character that executes his shitty actions in such a way that you can’t help but respect- even just for the level of dramatics put in to it- while also having a motive that makes you stop and consider that maybe he has a point but is very much handling the situation the wrong way.
Like, c’mon, he ticks so many villain boxes. Tragic backstory? Check. Blatant thespian who owns it? Check. Gets his hands dirty before the climax of the story? Check. Smart/ manipulative/ has back-up plans? Check. Understandable, strong motives? Check.
He’s got layers. Like onion. I felt like there was always something new to discover about him, and for that I can assert my opinion that he’s one of the best characters in Wizard101.
lmao if you read this far into my simp-for-shithead post congrats. feel free to shoot me more asks on the subject bc i cant write persuasive-essay-esque format anymore my brain is rotting. if you will excuse me, im off to listen to the chronoverge combat track for the 82937487734th time
#i get that a lot of people havent gotten far enough into the game to meet him but I ENCOURAGE U TO TRY BC HE'S A GOOD AND FUN CHARACTER OKAY#i need more cob content >:U#wizard101#w101
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Random Haikyuu Head Canons I Have
these are all taken from my discord server cause i remember to write them there, if you want to request fanfics, my requests are
W I D E open!
there is also nO order! these are just all the headcanons i could find tbh
warnings: mentions of blood, and just overall wild times, swearing
Asahi loves knitting sweaters because his shoulders are broad and he also loves seeing the reactions from his teammates when they get a sweater from him! He says he buys them but he doesn’t
Aone likes knitting socks because he has big feet and he loves fluffy knee high socks but his team will never know
Asahi and Aone regularly hang out and knit together! (after asahi wasnt scared of him anyways)
Nishinoya gives you shiny rocks he finds because “your eyes shine like them!”
Yamaguchi likes to have your head rest on his chest while cuddling!
Aone likes to bake
Aone dressed like a polar bear because koganegawa told him to- halloween was amazing
daICHI HAS A KISS THE COOK APRON
Daichi secretly can make some kick ass steak and is amazing at grilling sorry
Okay but real talk, Kenma and Yaku swear like sailors and it scares everyone because they always whisper the most foul, insulting things under their breath. Hearing it is like seeing a cryptid
Speaking of cryptids, Fukunaga and Shibayama are THE most true crime, mythology, and mystery obsessed fanatics on the team and often fanboy about it together
Fukunaga’s obsession with moth man has gotten to an unhealthy stage
Kenma absolutely had a vampire phase and has read twilight. Only Kuroo knows and has sworn to secrecy via blood pact
Kuroo’s a musical nerd. Knows all of the lyrics to Hamilton, BMC, DEH, Heathers, Rent, Beetlejuice, Etc. Kenma considered dropping him because of it
Iwaizumi tells the worst dad jokes and Kyotani, wanting to beat him, started doing it too and it drives everyone insane
Yahaba and Matsukawa get along surprisingly well. Both are true crime freaks and bond over their forensic files obsessions
Matsukawa didn’t really like his thick eyebrows so he got one of his female friends to pluck it for him, but almost cried and gave up after the first hair. Oikawa called him a pussy for the next year
Hanamaki jokingly flirts with everyone on the team so most of them just got used to it, but it still confuses Kindaichi to the point of mental breakdown
Makki called Kyotani ‘puppy’ as a joke once and now mad dog is truly terrified of him
Kyotani’s dog absolutely ADORES Oikawa and it’s the funniest shit to the rest of the team
Mattsun and Makki play DnD and once convinced Yahaba and Kyotani to join. Kyotani kept rolling to fight everyone and Yahaba was a bard that kept rolling to seduce everyone. They kept yelling across the board so they had to kick them out
Outside of his school uniform, Goshiki specifically wears only plaid
Tendou makes little chocolates for the whole team every once in a while so they don’t think he’s scary
Semi and Shirabu once had a fistfight in an abandoned McDonald’s parking lot while Tendou filmed and Goshiki cheered them on
Everybody makes fun of Shirabu’s haircut but nobody dares to say it to his face. its gotten to the point where they say he got it done by a blind old lady
There’s a running joke about Shirabu also getting his haircut from prison but Goshiki is starting to suspect that it may not be a joke
Yamagata and Tendou are good friends with the mutual goal of collecting as much blackmail on their team as possible
Tendou loves animals generally considered to be ‘ugly’ like rats, crows, reptiles, etc.
80% of Goshiki’s playlist is shit overplayed on the radio. Him, Shirabu, Tendou, Kawanishi and Ushijima have a permanent ban from the aux cord
Nobody watches YouTube with Ushijima because he never skips the damn ads (other than tendou)
Suna once said y’all’dn’t’ve unironically and made a first year cry
Akagi once said UwU unironically and had an identity crisis.
Osamu has one of those rainbow gaming keyboards and is constantly on a discord call. Atsumu always yells weird shit in the background to embarrass him and once pretended to be him
During Seijoh group chat arguments. Hanamaki and Mattsukawa like to drop facebook minion memes in just to piss everyone off even more
mattsun and maki both have separate photo albums in their phones labelled ‘minion memes to piss everyone off’
Hinata carries a pocket knife and no one has no fucking idea why
mattsun and maki both have matching rat fursuits that look like they actually where in a sewer- they chased oikawa around
For all his talk of plant analogies and metaphors, Ushijima cant grow shit
Goshiki’s Bangs are the way they are because his favorite character was Rock Lee from Naruto
Oikawa has watched Ouran High School Host Club front to back so many times and he can quote all of Tamaki’s lines by heart -He keeps bothering Iwaizumi to “be his Haruhi, since you’re shorter than me”
Koganegawa has definitely gone as an Angry Bird for Halloween
Fukunaga has those reflective cat eyes, and he has terrified Yamamoto on several occasion
Hanamaki and Matsukawa have a teddy bear that they pretend is their child and they share custody
Suga always sprays whipped cream straight into his mouth whenever he sees a can
Nishinoya definitely bit people as a kid
Nishinoya would be the guy to wear shorts all year round and even if it's snowing, he'll insist he's not cold
Tendou is still stuck in his emo phase and would fangirl over Creepypasta with me and I appreciate that (me too buddy, me fuckin too)
Kyoutani LOOKS like he’d listen to viking death metal, but in reality he listens to Mother Mother and knows all the words to Ghosting
Sugawara would definitely encourage me to dumb shit and not stop me, and you’re all dumb for thinking he wouldn’t
KENMA IS NOT ‘uwu owo’ SHY, HE IS ‘your fucking gross’ SHY SO LITERALLY STFU
Bokuto listens to Nicki Manaj. And knows all the words. To every. Single. Song.
Ushijima for some reason knows an odd amount of 90′s-2000′s R&B and he will hum along to the songs if they come on the radio (he also loves Dolly Parton) ((he says he relates to her music))
Bokuto once ate instant ramen for an entire month
TERUSHIMA DID TRY TO FUCK A PLANT WHILE SHITFACED AND GOD I STAND BY WHAT I SAID
atsumu let’s you put makeup on him and pretends to eat the brushes (do yk what im talking about- like n o m)
tendou ran for school president as a joke but actually won
i 100% believe that all of karasuno’s third years apologize when they bump into inanimate objects, but when suga is really tired or stressed out, he’ll yell at them instead.
Tanaka, Nishinoya, and Taketora have a group chat called "Bros who want sum hoes" and they send each other hypebeast memes and shit
Sugawara knows how to do a bunch of flexible shit because he sometimes goes to yoga with daichi and asahi's moms, its fucking hilarious
tanaka and noya both breakdance- they work as a team and sometimes go to tokyo for underground competitions- saeko drives them
Daichi knows a little ballet- nobody other than Kiyoko knows because they saw each other at the ballet class and had to work together- dont tell tanaka and noya that he lifted her though
Osamu once put glitter on Atsumu's pillow- he still finds hot pink glitter on shit
kita knits and crochets with his grandma
Kita's grandma knows everyone's names because kita talks shit bout them, her favorite is Aran
Kuroo has burnt his eyebrows off doing an experiment. His goggles didn't cover all his brows,,, so he just showed up to practice like that. No eyebrows and a chemical burn
kenma has played all kinds of games, but he was dared to play corpse party by kuroo. He wasn't scared because of the gore, he was thinking about the trauma the characters went through. Punched kuroo the next day because that game was fucked up
Lev isn't a strong swimmer, so he often grabs people by the head to keep himself up. happened with kenma and lev couldn't walk due to the force of kenmas suprised water kicks
akaashi has those fancy pens that you have to dip in ink and they're so nice
Bokuto has and will eat pencil erasers again
Daichi once almost lost his shit at his team but instead he lost his shit at the door that decided to stub his toe on the way out of the gym. not the best thing to be found yelling to.
Yamaguchi for sure has been dragged to one of terushimas parties because he didnt wanna say no. oh and terushima has like frat boy level parties too. Yams has for sure had some wild nights and doubts anyone other than Tsukishima and the party-goers will ever know
Akaashi can actually flirt very well! He reads romance novels sometimes and has analyzed any and every book in his possession! so he's actually quite charming
Daihsou unironically posted on twitter after mika broke up with him "I still see her shadows in my room"
Mattsun and Maki run a fake oikawa account; its been going ever since twitter even started getting popular and they even started sending messages in spanish. The posts would range from "I love all my fans!" to flirting with them :) Oikawa is pissed cause the account got verified before he did and most of his fans also follow the fake oikawa. Tooru has no idea who runs it
JUST IMAGINE OIKAWA JUST LIKE RANTING TO THE SEIJOH 3RD YEAR ALUMNI AND JUST "no Iwa-chan, you dont understand! they run a fake account and pretend to be me!" while makki and mattsun laugh their asses off
Oh, kenma for sure has pretended to be a girl on discord and has gotten someone to buy him stuff. after they do he says in his normal voice "fucking simp" and then hangs up and blocks the other persons discord
Yamamoto, despite his rough appearance, loves kids and has and will be a human jungle gym
suna in middle school had a game with his friends about who could make kids cry the fastest
The twins switched places back in middle school and nobody could tell because of how great they are at acting like eachother
Daichi once arrested coach ukai for public intoxication after a game :|
Daichi has arrested many people from his old volleyball team but the most memorable case was when he arrested tanaka and noya for reckless driving. poor idiots got so scared when they saw their old captains face in their mirror and started to pray
tanaka, while trying to intimidate someone, once said "You dont gotta tell me twice, i may be straight but these hands are bisexual" and he often cringes at night thinking about it
Kageyama, as a comeback to Tsukishima, said "one thing about us royalty is that we love to feast" and he also fuckin hates what he said
the third years made a cult for Kiyoko. they chant every wednesday "i'll do anything for kiyoko, she makes me go loco"
oikawas fangirls are known to be fucking rabid
yAMAMOTO AND KENMA AFTER THEIR FIGHT WERE FORCED BY KUROO TO MAKE IT UP: so they dyed their hair together
Makki and mattsun sang two trucks in front of the entire team. everyone was so confused. Makki: "twO TRUCKS HAVIN SEX!!" Mattsun: "oH yEs!"THEY'D SWITCH OFF AND HAVE LIKE CHOREOGRAPHY TOO LIKE THEY'D DO A TANGO WHILE THE SONG IS LIKE "two beer trucks, making love"
tendou once called Oikawa "mr. no-nationals" and got kicked in the shins before iwaizumi could save him
Tsukishima had a my little pony phase
you work with matsukawa at a morgue and he makes dead people jokes while you fix some dead guys face with wax and makeup he'd be like "so didnt he like,,, stick his head out of the sunroof of a moving fuckin car??" he'd be singing dumb ways to die the entire day
i feel like Kuroo has one crazy accident a year. like it might not be deadly but its fucking crazy like for example: Kuroo for sure has ridden in a shopping cart at past midnight with kenma (who pushed him down a hill) causing Kuroo to get scratched up hella well. he lied and said he spent the night with a girl and kenma fucking hated himself cause he would be the girl if that was true
Mattsun has flirted with the 4th years moms before (AS A JOKE), and because of this: he is known as “fuckin milf hunter” sometimes by the team
Warning, this next headcanon is talking about cannabis, weed, mary jane, the zoink root. so if your uncomfortable, please dont read below :)
dude i wanna get high as SHIT with Asahi
i think Asahi would be one of those mfkers who takes one hit and is gone
ASAHI ACCIDENTALLY GOING TO PRACTICE ZOINKED
IMAGINE HIM SEEING TSUKISHIMA AND JUST "he looks so judgemental,,, im scared"
OR LIKE A MAD DAICHI AND JUST "i'm gonna,,, im gonna go jump out the window now"
Noya and Tanaka would know tho, i feel like they'd have a 6th sense when it comes to weed. they probably get some from Saeko cause she'd rather they do it in the house. they'd smell asahi like fucking dogs and just so,,, big guy had fun without us huh?
DAICHI WOULD KNOW ABOUT ASAHI BEING ZOINKED, SMASH HIS FACE INTO THE WALL, TURN AROUND WITH A RED MARK ON HIS FOREHEAD AND WITH A BEAMING SMILE AND FEUX ENTHUSIASM SAY: "YOSH, LETS WARM UP!"
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Breakfast and Bus Rides
Criminal Minds/Supernatural crossover ft. Harry Styles
Word Count: ~3030
Warnings: Egregious amounts of fluff, one gratuitous kitten, and a couple stoned rockstars. Lots of discussion of coming out and some other LGBT-adjacent issues.
A/N: A wild Plot appears! I was having some feels about coming out/honesty (hm wonder why, is a mystery) and foisted those feelings on JJ and Dean.
Thanks to @stunudo for a pre-read, endless encouragement, and the kitten scene idea.
This is part of the Rockstar AU. It picks up right where Wake-Up Calls and Watermelon leaves off.
Dean exchanges a glance with Sam, and they both hang back as the others start to gather in the kitchenette. Penelope keeps shooting wide-eyed, starstruck looks at Harry, and it’s making Dean nervous.
“You okay with this?” Dean asks quietly. “You think she’ll keep her mouth shut?”
Sam shrugs. “I can talk to her.”
“And Schroeder? I mean, love the kid to death, but holy hell does he babble.”
“Spencer’s known since the first night of tour.”
“How?”
Sam chuckles. “Kinda a funny story… tell you later. I honestly think he might’ve forgotten, though.”
“What about the rest of ‘em?” Dean asks. “I mean, I like ‘em well enough, but…”
“I want to tell them,” Sam says, without hesitating. “I’m just gonna bite the bullet and invite them all over for breakfast.”
Dean sighs and runs a hand through his hair. “You sure?”
“I trust them.”
“Okay. Just don’t want you to get hurt, Sammy.”
“What a shock,” Sam deadpans. “Dean’s pulling the protective big brother card? Alert the press.”
Dean purses his lips and gives Sam a light punch on the arm. “Bitch.”
“Don’t let Emily hear you saying that,” Sam chuckles. “Shoulda heard the lecture I got the other day about the way misogyny is perpetuated through language. Honestly, though. What do you really think is going to happen? It’s not like they’ve outed you and Cas, they’ve all been awesome about it.”
“This is different, though,” Dean says, with a grimace. “I mean, like it or not, it’d be news. The gossip rags would pay serious fuckin’ money for a picture of the two of you.”
“It’s not like we’re gonna walk around, like, fused at the mouth,” Sam laughs. “No PDA required. But… I want him to meet some of my friends. Y’know?”
“Yeah.”
“Stop worrying so much, Dean.” Sam’s expression is soft and fond, and he claps Dean on the shoulder before heading for the coffee maker and Harry.
Harry wraps himself around Sam like a giant squid, if a giant squid wore Gucci, and Dean’s chest feels tight with anxiety. The two of them are looking at each other with these stupid googly-eyed dimpled smiles. It doesn’t even count as PDA, not really, except that Sam is so godawful at hiding his feelings that he might as well be wearing a neon sign.
Then Harry starts feeding him a strawberry, and that definitely counts as PDA, if not public indecency. Gross.
If someone did take a picture of them like this, with their sleepy-eyed smiles and interlaced fingers, it’d be worth thousands of dollars. That’s a hell of an incentive. Dean’s had people fuck him over for much less.
Dean’s learned his lesson over the years. The only people you can really trust are your family.
Cas emerges from their room, blinking blearily around at everyone before coming over to Dean and leaning in for a kiss.
“Morning breath, fuck,” Dean grumbles, making a face, but he grabs Cas and pulls him in anyway.
A cheer goes up around them, and Dean sees Jack coming out of his room, clothed now, but still blushing red and shamefaced.
“What’d I miss?” Cas says, scowling, and Dean grins gleefully before launching into the story.
* * *
“I guess I just don’t see why it’s such a big deal,” Spencer says, contemplating his hand of cards. “Aside from a very vocal minority, there’s widespread support for LGBT rights, statistically, and the music industry is more progressive than most. If you look at David Bowie, for example —”
“I pass the turn,” Charlie interrupts, cutting him off before he can launch into full-on textbook mode. “It’s not really about that, though.”
Charlie forgets about the conversation for a minute as he attacks her planeswalker. She used to own her local Friday Night Magic tournaments, and she’s more than a little pissed that this skinny fucker in a sweater vest has won three of their last four games. Spencer is sneaky. Charlie can respect that, but it’s infuriating.
“Why, then?”
“Hmm? Oh, that. It’s more to do with… privacy, I guess. That’s a hell of a lot of public attention for Sam. He doesn’t want people to sing Happy Birthday to him, you know?”
“Doesn’t everybody hate being sung to?” Spencer asks pensively.
“Well, yeah. But Harry’s the sort of famous where people get totally invasive and weird about his personal life. Like, starting rumors, tabloid shit, and it extends to anyone he gets involved with.”
“Really?” Spencer downs the last of his coffee. It’s his third cup, but he hasn’t touched the plate of pancakes that’s been going cold on the table.
“Yeah. I don’t know if Sam realizes the full level of crazy at work, but Dean and I looked online, one night, after Harry brought it up. The shit people have said about his exes… about his friends, even. They’re vicious about it. Analyzing every facial expression in every picture, making up stories…”
Spencer’s forehead creases in a frown. “I play Grasp of Darkness on your Primordial Hydra and swing with all my zombies.”
“Motherfucker,” Charlie mutters. “Rematch?”
Spencer’s staring intently down at the table, lost in thought, and he doesn’t seem to hear her for a second. She chucks one of her D-20s at his face and he starts when it bounces off his forehead.
“Sorry.”
“Where’d you go?”
He hesitates before mumbling, “I had a stalker.”
“Really?”
“Yeah, she — Cat. I told her I didn’t want to sleep with her, and she didn’t like that very much.” He pauses, brow furrowed. “She learned everything about me, and I mean everything. Tried to manipulate me, tried to manipulate my friends…”
“Yikes. What happened?”
“She went to jail for a little while. She showed up when she got out, one night in Boston—” Spencer brightens. “—but Derek tackled her and threw her into the Charles River.”
“For real?”
Spencer nods and smiles in a way that makes Charlie think she’s not getting the full story. “It was a weird night.”
“So she hasn’t showed up since then?”
“No. But… I just felt like I couldn’t hide anything, like every part of me, every shitty thing I’d ever done, was under a microscope. It was awful. I’m all for being honest, you know? That’s great, in theory, but... everybody deserves the right to hide if they want to. You should be the one to decide what parts of yourself you want to share.”
Charlie thinks about the friend who outed her in high school, and how naked she felt.
“Agreed.”
* * *
Dean sits down next to Derek at the kitchen bar as he’s sealing the third joint.
“Rolling for the road?” he asks, around a mouthful of bacon. “Nicely done.”
“The key is the crutch,” Derek tells him. “Ditalini.”
“No shit? Huh.”
Derek keeps working, watching Dean, who’s watching Sam.
“Nothing to worry about here,” Derek points out gently. “You know that, right?”
Dean lets out a little self-deprecating laugh. “Sorry. Fuck. Habit, y’know? He’s my brother.”
“Oh, believe me, I know,” Derek says ruefully, glancing over at Spencer.
“Every person he tells is another person that could hurt him,” Dean says fiercely. “I fuckin’ hate that.”
“Worrying doesn’t help, though.”
Dean scowls at that, thinking for a moment as he chews, before saying, “I just wish there was a way I could help.”
“A while ago, there was this guy who went after Emily,” Derek says slowly, twisting the next joint closed. “And he didn’t hurt her bad, or anything. Spencer and JJ jumped in, and Spencer took the worst of it, because… Spencer.”
“Can’t see him being handy in a fight.”
“Try telling him that when he’s pissed. Point is, though… nobody got hurt, but I was pretty shaken up about it. Beat myself up for not being there to protect them, until my girl Penelope talked some sense into me. She said, ‘It’s not your job to keep them safe all the time. The most important thing is to make sure they know they’re safe with you.’ I think about that a lot.”
“So, what, I’m supposed to just… ignore the risk?”
“No,” Derek says patiently. “But it’s his risk to take. You being afraid isn’t going to make the world any less scary, but knowing that you’re there, that you’re proud of him, that you’ve got his back no matter what? That helps.”
Dean mulls that over. There’s a mulish set to his jaw that reminds Derek of Emily; it’s the face she makes when she knows he’s right and doesn’t want to admit it. He tries to hide his smile as he finishes rolling the last joint and offers it to Dean.
“Thanks,” Dean says gruffly.
“Any time.”
* * *
When JJ opens the bus door, she’s greeted by a cloud of weed smoke. She can see Hotch stretched out on the couch with a half-smoked joint in one hand and a battered copy of Slaughterhouse-Five in the other. He’s reading out loud, and for a moment JJ can’t figure out who he’s reading to; then she notices Pearl curled up on his chest, rubbing her tiny fuzzy head against his cheek.
It’s so goddamn cute JJ doesn’t know what to do with herself. She settles for whipping out her phone and taking a quick picture.
As she walks up the bus steps, Hotch holds out the lit joint without pausing, and she takes it happily.
JJ’s exhaling smoke, finally feeling the weird tension under her skin start to evaporate, when Rossi opens the door.
“All set,” Rossi says, giving the driver a thumbs-up.
“Did you triple-check your head count?” Hotch asks, deadpan.
“Sure did.”
“Everybody present and accounted for?” JJ adds innocently. “Spencer?”
“He’s showing off his new toy on the Winchesters’ bus.”
“Penelope?”
“Playing Sega with Charlie.”
“And Morgan?”
“Already in the back, taking a nap.”
“Emily?” Hotch presses.
“She’s in the batcave to — oh. I see.” Rossi glowers. “Very funny.”
“Are you sure you didn’t forget Spencer again?” JJ asks, giggling hoarsely around another lungful of smoke.
“It was one time,” Rossi protests, flipping them off. “You try keeping track of the kid. He’s like a squirrel. A squirrel on LSD.”
“Pretty sure it was mushrooms that day,” JJ points out.
Rossi sits down and asks thoughtfully, “Did anybody see that coming?”
“Sam? Honestly, no,” Hotch answers, frowning. “Not that it’s any of our business, but…”
“Me neither,” JJ admits.
She’s still rattled by the whole thing, for reasons she can’t quite put her finger on. It’s not about Sam, or whatever bullshit constructs of masculinity that would make people assume he’s straight just because he has muscles and dresses like a lumberjack. She’s not shocked by the label, or whatever.
“There’s someone I want you guys to meet,” Sam had told them. He tucked his hair behind his ears as he said it; it’s his tell, his nervous tic, and JJ has the poker winnings to prove it. She had wondered, for a moment, what would make him smile like that in spite of his obvious anxiety.
Dean had been glaring from the other side of the room, gauging their reactions, his arms folded and his fear written all over his face in the guise of a scowl, like a feral dog who’d been backed into a corner. JJ could understand the fear. Sam, though… Sam just looked relieved.
Hotch and Rossi are staring at her, she realizes abruptly.
“Hm?”
“I said, anything you want to do in L.A.? Plenty of time for sightseeing.”
JJ shrugs. “Not really.”
“You okay?” Rossi asks, looking at her closely.
“Yeah, just… tired. I’m gonna take that nap now.” She gives them a bright smile, passing the joint to Rossi, and gets up before they can question it.
JJ feels a little better once she’s in a spare bunk with the curtain closed. It’s easier to examine the knot in her chest like this, now that she’s alone in the dark, safe and hidden.
She keeps coming back to the smile on Sam’s face.
There was a moment, earlier, when JJ noticed Sam and Harry from across the room as they talked to Emily and Hotch. Harry had been leaning against Sam’s side. Sam’s arm was draped casually over his shoulder, and he started playing idly with Harry’s hair, combing his fingers through the messy curls at his temple as Harry tilted his head into the touch.
There was a peaceful possessiveness in it—the sort of cozy familiarity that had been worn soft by time like overwashed cotton—an unspoken claim: mine.
How long has it been since JJ felt that with someone, like their closeness was a second skin that she could wear in public?
Not since Emily. Even then it had always been tainted by fear, an overwhelming desire to hide whenever she could feel someone watching.
She and Emily are loudly affectionate with each other in public, of course: drunk and dancing, or clinging to each other as they stagger home, or kissing with an exaggerated smacking sound when anyone mutters disapprovingly in their direction. But that’s brash and performative and platonic, the sort of thing JJ could do just as comfortably with Penelope or Spencer. That’s different.
Anybody who’d seen Sam and Harry would’ve known immediately; that sort of intimacy is unmistakable, and Sam didn’t seem to care. He was smiling like he was proud to show it off.
JJ has seen it in Dean and Cas, too, but never quite so clearly. Maybe it’s because they’ve never had to hide around the Business As Usual crowd, so the contrast hasn’t drawn her attention, or maybe it’s just that they’re not demonstratively tactile in the same way. You have to know him well (and you have to be paying attention) to catch glimpses of the tenderness that Dean masks so well. He doesn’t wear his emotions on his face for everyone to see. JJ can relate.
But Sam wasn’t hiding, that morning; he was just sweet and vulnerable and proud of it and JJ realizes suddenly that she’s jealous. That’s envy squirming around in her belly.
She wants that sort of love: fearless, or maybe in spite of fear. She gets sick of hiding, sometimes.
JJ puts a pin in that thought and tells herself she can deal with it later, when she’s not quite so stoned and maudlin. Right now, it’s naptime.
* * *
Dean intended to nap all the way to Sacramento, but he only manages to doze for a half hour or so. There’s too much on his mind. He pushes groggily through the door and thinks a silent thank you at whoever got the coffee machine going.
Spencer and Jack are sitting on one couch, playing with something that Dean recognizes as a theremin. Sam’s on the other couch, and Harry and Cas are sitting at the table.
“What do you think?” Cas asks, when he notices Dean watching. He holds up two bottles of nail polish.
“Black is punk rock. Pastels are for the Easter bunny’s little sister,” Dean opines.
“Love you too, Dean Bean.” Harry shoots him a cheerful pastel-green-painted middle finger. Dean ruffles his hair affectionately on his way to sit next to Sam.
Dean’s first instinct was to scoff, to snark, to dismiss nail polish as girly, but he knows the instinct is just a vestigial memory of his dad’s stern voice. He’s been getting better at recognizing that voice, in the last few years; for a while he thought he was done with it, figuring that if he could admit he was in love with a guy, he must be over that sort of learned bullshit. Can’t be phobic if you’re one of the homos, right? So… fuck off, Dad.
Then Harry showed up, with his totally fuckin’ zen attitude about annihilating gendered fashion norms, and Dean found himself wincing, sometimes, or looking around furtively to make sure nobody was staring. Even at Bonnaroo, when Harry went around hiding behind wigs and glasses—when the entire point was for him to pass as a girl—Dean’s immediate knee-jerk reaction was to cringe. It’s taken awhile, but he’s getting better at ignoring the fear when it kicks up in his gut.
Dean’s distracted by a drawn-out melancholy squeal.
“Someone turned a taxidermied badger into a theremin one time,” Spencer says happily, as Jack waves his hand over it again. “They called it a badgermin.”
Dean snorts. “Sounds like a violin that needs an exorcism.”
“Or a Barred Owl on barbiturates,” Sam offers.
“Worn-Out-Brake-Pad flavored La Croix.”
“A whale that got so stoned it forgot how to talk.”
“One of the mermaids from Harry Potter having a wet dream,” Spencer suggests, and Cas laughs so hard he almost knocks over the bottle of nail polish.
“Get your shit together, Castiel,” Harry scolds, but he’s giggling too. It’s like being scolded by a very happy sloth. “You’re done, mate. Who’s next, hmm?”
He points at Jack, who shakes his head.
“I need to get some sleep,” he says, and the last word cracks on a yawn.
Sam grins. “Yeah, I’m guessing you didn’t get much rest last night.”
“Sweet dreams, Mr. Grey,” Dean teases, and wolf-whistles as Jack retreats. Cas relocates to the couch, giving Dean a peck on the cheek before sitting back and admiring his manicure.
Harry waves the bottle at Spencer, who doesn’t notice; he’s focused intently on the instrument, coaxing out something that actually sounds like music, in a vague, freaky kind of way.
“Yeah, okay,” Dean says, rolling his eyes and settling at the table across from a delighted Harry.
“How about a nice hot pink?” he asks.
“Don’t push your luck.”
“Wasn’t one of those used in the Doctor Who theme?” Harry asks Spencer. Spencer brightens like a big geeky Christmas tree that’s strung with lights made of useless trivia.
“Now you’ve done it,” Dean says under his breath.
“Actually, that’s a common misconception,” Spencer announces. “The original composition used—”
Dean must be going soft, because he’s actually kind of enjoying this, both the lecture and the manicure.
Then again, he thinks, Sam is enthralled, and Cas is smiling, and maybe Dean’s just really enjoying his life right now.
Fuck off, Dad, he thinks, admiring his pastel green nails.
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When you added onto your tags and acknowledged that tightlacing is vastly different than corsetry... I'm ace and I think I'm on the aro spectrum but that was extremely hot of you and I think I fell in love
hey i’m on the aro ace spectrum too high five!! and FUCK yes i’m so glad that my strong feelings on making sure everyone knows the difference are appreciated!!!!!!!!!!!! and also you’re giving me this stellar opportunity to talk about it even MORE anon i love you let the infodumping commence
this gets long so the rest is under the cut:
TL;DR: corsets serve the same purpose as a bra, supporting from the hips instead of the shoulders. today, some people wear them for that purpose, and some people wear them as medical devices for scoliosis. if a corset doesn’t fit properly, it’ll be uncomfortable, which is why we hear actors complain about them so much (because they’re not wearing custom-made ones, like they would have, say, a hundred and fifty years ago).
so when everyone was wearing corsets, they had ones that fit them, and corsets HAD to allow women to breathe and move because EVERYONE was wearing them, including working-class women. tightlacing was done by a tiny minority of upper-class women to get the tiniest waist possible, which was fashionable at the time (and still is, if you look at modern waist trainers). and yes, it was damaging to them, but it’s not the intended purpose of a corset. the reason that so many people today think it IS is because of victorian men, who sucked.
(so don’t draw neil josten like a super-rich super-fashionable victorian woman)
(and that was the tl;dr so as you can imagine! what’s under the cut is quite long! BUT IT’S INTERESTING SO I HIGHLY ENCOURAGE U TO READ)
OKAY SO HERE’S THE DEAL. we always hear about corsets as like, women-oppressing torture devices. that’s not true. the *reason* we have all these misconceptions about corsets is the fault of victorian men, just like so many things are the fault of victorian men
the actual purpose of corsets??? like the ACTUAL actual purpose of corsets??? they have literally the same function as a bra. the benefit of a corset is that it supports from the hips and waist, not from the shoulders, so depending on your bust size a corset might be better for you (and for your back)!
and people do still wear corsets today, *not* just people dressing up. like i mentioned above, they’re practical, they’re COMFORTABLE ACTUALLY, and if you have scoliosis then special corsets are sometimes used as medical devices!
so back to them being comfortable. this is another huge-ass misconception. you know who wore corsets Back In The Day? women. not just rich women. middle-class women, working class women, EVERYONE. because it’s underwear. do you think a woman who lives on a farm and has to help with farm things could do that with a super uncomfortable, super tight corset? no.
you can try to lace your corset up as tight as possible, but if you have ANY form of core/abdominal muscles whatsoever, you’re just. not gonna be able to have a wasp waist. you’re just not! you have muscles there that can’t be pushed out of the way!
and are you REALLY gonna put all that effort in to lace it super fucking tight every single day? no. you’re not. because unless you’re super rich, you’re probably having a family member or spouse or maybe a single maid help you get dressed in the morning, and the two of you just don’t have time to turn ‘putting on undergarments’ into a whole fuckin’ production every single day.
but birl, you ask, why is it that movie actresses (such as emma stone and emma watson, literally just off the top of my head) always complain about corsets? simple answer: they’re not fitted well, and the actresses have been inundated with victorian men’s opinions on tightlacing and think that wearing a corset automatically means they’re gonna have their internal organs fucked up. if a corset doesn’t fit you, of course it’s gonna be uncomfortable!!!
and when it comes to movies/tv, whether it actually fits is... not always treated as a primary concern. because they’re doing it for costumes, and since it’s film, the actresses can change out of the corset and wear something else when they’re not filming. if you’re wearing a corset as part of your everyday clothes, you’re GONNA pay for one that’s made specifically for you (not to mention that off-the-rack clothing is a fairly recent invention, and for the vast majority of human history, clothing was made to fit an individual, so OF COURSE women would wear corsets that fit them)
costume corsets are frequently not a functional garment and they don’t need to behave like one. real corsets are, and they have persisted as a functional garment for CENTURIES, which they would *not* have if they were actively harming every single person who wore them. which, if you recall, was... pretty much every single woman. that’s the difference, and also, like i said, there’s an element of fear that also drives those actresses complaining because they have fallen for the victorian male complaining.
(side note: i watched enola holmes recently, and it’s a great movie, but for FUCK’S sake a corset is not a tool of repression any more than a bra is! i know some of y’all like to say that a bra is a tool of repression, because you hardly have any need for one! but a lot of people actually do need breast support SO THEY DON’T DEVELOP BACK PROBLEMS)
now. on to tightlacing, finally. with a normal corset, you lace it tight enough to get support from it, and no tighter, because why the fuck would you want to imprison your lungs and also you probably have core muscles because only a TINY subset of society was rich enough to afford zero abdominal strength.
tightlacing, on the other hand, is what most people think of when they think of a corset. pulling the laces on the back of the corset as TIGHT AS POSSIBLE (sometimes with multiple people pulling) to get a teeny-tiny waist. it severely restricts your lung capacity (since your lungs go all the way down your back), it forces your internal organs to move, and it can deform your ribcage.
additionally, since you can’t breathe very well, you have to breathe into the top of your chest (this is where the whole ‘heaving bosom’ thing comes from), so you can’t really engage in physical activity AND when you take your corset off, you’re likely to faint because of blood rushing everywhere.
and like i have mentioned SEVERAL times, if you have abdominal muscles, it is NOT GONNA WORK. because you can’t push muscle out of the way.
so this can only be done by the superrich, and IT WAS A FAD. i cannot state this enough. it didn’t last, because it fucked people up! and the fact that it wasn’t healthy, combined with some good old victorian misogyny, meant that victorian men were talking about tightlacing CONSTANTLY. and since normal corsets had been around for forever, nobody was talking about them because everyone knew how corsets were supposed to work!
which means, of course, that if you look at, say, victorian sources discussing corsets, they’re gonna be talking about tightlacing, and if you don’t live in a time where the VAST majority of women are wearing corsets, then you might not know that tightlacing is this weird fad among super-wealthy women and assume that it’s what everyone was doing!
now here’s the thing. we have bras now. we also have modern corsets. guess what? we also have modern tightlacing. those are waist trainers. now, i don’t know as much about them as i do about corsets, but i imagine they at least pretend to be better for you than tightlacing. don’t fall for it. being able to breathe is sexy.
AND if you’re interested in this, bernadette banner and karolina zebrowska have some great youtube videos on it! i actually don’t remember off the top of my head if bernadette banner has a video dedicated to corsets but she does talk about them when analyzing terrible ‘historical’ movie costumes
another side note: so what sparked this initially was talking about the aftg fandom and how neil josten is frequently represented in art as having a tiny waist. having made it to the bottom of this post, i hope u now have an ARSENAL of facts with which to know with 100% certainty that it is impossible for neil josten to have a wasp waist. the guy’s a d1 athlete.
and even if it’s some kind of AU, if he runs as much as he does in canon, no wasp waist. he has abdominal muscles. and body fat, because he is not a bodybuilder and he NEEDS body fat. i get that he’s short???? but he’s not a twink. he’s a future pro athlete. so even if he tightlaced a corset, he would STILL not have a tiny waist. it’s physically impossible for him.
the end!
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Honestly, I *DO* like episodes 7, 8, and 9. BUT I would have LOVED if they did everything they did AS PLANNED, and then added the alternatives film (the versions we got) as a bonus. Honestly I hate ROS because Rey is related to HIM. Lbh, NOBODY would have sex with p*alpatine
the problem with episodes 7-9 is that each is a standalone film. that is not a problem in itself since every other star wars trilogy movies could technically be watched as a standalone and with a little context you’d be fine, since they tell an overarching story with three more or less independent characters. episodes 7-9 do not tell an overarching story, they are each chapters to a different telling of rey’s story. ep 7 tells the story of rey nobody, who is both the narrative foil and the in-world counterpart of one of the strongest force users alive, and that’s honestly already a really good premise, buuuuut if we’re going to have a trilogy then that main conflict should be resolved either in the second movie or at the very least in the first half or so of the third because things! need! to! happen! for! a reason! except that they don’t because at the climax of the second film kylo tells rey she’s a nobody, and apparently that changes nothing within her resolve which..... fine, let’s push it and say she’s going to deal with that in the third movie, whatever, but we get to it and actually she’s palpatine’s granddaughter so actually she’s all the jedi which. UGH. the point I’m trying to make is that she is a completely linear character being thrown in three different takes of her story, and I hate to say this because I LOVE her, but after the second movie I totally got it when people said she was a mary sue because her faith in the force and the jedi and her kindness and blahblah NEVER really waivers (except when she gets angry at luke which. saves everyone! how fuckin convenient!) and you could come out and say “lori, if we think like that luke skywalker is also a mary sue”, which, again, don’t get me wrong because he is literally my son but he IS. and in the 80’s that is FINE cause it’s the story we needed - a story about this starry (heh) eyed guy whose unwaivering faith in people and The Magic Around Him™️ may seem a little misguided at first but ends up saving everyone, but that was 40 years ago. and maybe it was silly of me to expect a nuanced take on The Human Specificity Of Empathy from a star wars movie but you know what, I don’t think it was since gareth edwards paved the way with rogue one that is the epitome of analysis of what it really means to be good or bad and I’m not going to rant about how rogue one is the best star wars movie today BUT it set the tone for a less us-vs-them view of the world which was VERY exciting and in line with what I think the 2010-20’s really wants from its heroes in general. so if we want to follow the narrative beats of the first trilogy or at least the first movie (no way of knowing where jj abrams would’ve gone in ep 8) I think that’s fine so as long as you make it your own, and imo jj abrams was, and then rian johnson was like nope lol, and jj abrams tried to fix the narrative 180 rian johnson tried to do, and like. episode 8 is a very fun movie to watch as a star wars fan but narratively it does not make any fuckin sense. I thought so then and now with ep 9 out I think so even more. rian johnson is a very creative guy, he had some REALLY interesting ideas, but WHY give him the creative liberty to do so in the MIDDLEEEEE of the trilogy??? WHY!?!?!? give him a star wars story film! he would KILL it! or you know wait a couple years so the director of the first movie who actually knows what the fuck he’s doing can direct the second, but noooooo the damned fucking mouse wants to wipe his ass with $100 bills so we cannot possibly wait. cohesive storytelling? we don’t give a shit about that in the house of le mouse.
that all to say, there is nothing Fundamentally wrong narratively with either of the three movies. they’re fun to watch. even ep 8, possibly my least fav of the bunch, was a fun experience in cinemas. it’s star wars and disney - they know how to make a blockbuster. the thing is that as a trilogy they simply do not make any sense. if you analyze each movie individually all three seem to have different core themes: ep 7’s is “nobodies are people too actually”, 8 is “maybe space fascists aren’t so bad, actually (also luke is here hey luke)”, and 9 is “I take that back, nobodies aren’t a people actually”. it’s satisfying to watch as a casual spectator who goes to the movies, seems some space gays with one braincell between the three of them and is like coolio and then goes home, but it’s not satisfying to watch as someone even the littlest bit invested in the story because there is no cohesive roundup of everything. the original trilogy was like is luke an idiot for being nice? is vader actually redeemable? is han deserving of trust despite being a space nerf herder? and sometimes u were like what’s happenin!!!! but in the end all your questions are answered quite satisfactorily. luke was right, han is sexy, vader was redeemable. in the prequels: how does anakin skywalker become darth vader? how do he and obi juan become the enemies we see in the death star? what happens to padme? and while the sequels are a beautiful mess that I love they do answer the questions they put out when episode 1 begins, so you know, imagine liking the sequels and hating the prequels when the PREQUELS make more sense, the PREQUELSSSS. anywhomst, point is: the sequels are like here is finn. finn is the first stormtrooper we see the face of! he defects! also the first stormtrooper we se defect. the other defector we know is bodhi from r1, who is very sympathetic despite being imperial, and clearly we’re supposed to feel empathy for finn. finn survives! finn finds rey! go finn I love u! and then. WHAT happens to finn? what furthers his character development into a full fledged person when he starts out with not even a name? where’s his anger? where’s his OBVIOUS narrative direction that should be “ex stormtrooper who shows imperials that fascism is bad actually”? nope, goes almost unmentioned from then on. and again, I love finn, he is literally baby, but he also froze after ep 7 because rian johnson decided to fuck shit up and also because disney is racist. poe? the do-good soldier who is supposed to be the Believer™️? actually he is the only one who was any semblance of a coherent role in ep 8... which is promptly retconned when jj abrams makes him a fucking spice runner in ep 9 lol. who is rey? and they’re like she’s a nobody and that’s why she’s spesh, wait no she is a nobody but she’s spesh because space fascist has the hots for her, oh, no, wait, she’s spesh because PALPATINE. what was the theme of this trilogy? what was the thesis? what questions did they set out to answer and did they answer them at all, never mind well? and it’s unclear, obviously, because three movies with three clearly different views behind them won’t magically make narrative sense just because you are trying to piece them together. they’re not pieces at all, they are three independent takes on the stars and the wars. enjoyable as little snacky treats, not as a three meal course. (also I’m not even going to TOUCH on how what was already a narrative mess was made worse by disney’s NONSTOP fanservice. sw sequels and game of thrones last season are the cautionary tales of why fanservice sucks and while a good, intelligent if cliche or predictable story is always better than a Shocking™️ one that doesn’t make any sense. but if I start on that I will LITERALLY not shut up SO AHEM CONTINUE @LIZZIBENNET)
ALL that to say: I agree w/ u and I LOVE your idea of each movie being an alternative version of the story. honestly, that would make more sense than what we have right now off the bat lol. can you imagine ep 7 being the rose colored version of the story via the heroes’ lenses, and then ep 8 being the “actually space fascism is good if ur kylo ren” version of the story, and then, ep 9 is what actually happened... told by rey nobody, who dances the line between the good and bad until there’s not a line anymore. CHEF’S FUCKIN KISS obviously much more risqué than disney would ever go for, but genius! much better than trying to make us care about these conflicts that they make up in the first 15 mins of each movie. ur mad because episode 7 follows the beats of 4? here’s three movies on why you were wrong when you judged it all true and therefore Bad. HUHU I love that
also the galaxy is a vast place... I am sure there are emperor fuckers out there
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Rules: answer questions and tag blogs you are contractually obligated to know better!
so @kwonthefire tagged me thank u for giving me an excuse to talk about myself you KNOW i will jump on that shit with absolutely no hesitation you’re incredible
Name/nickname: vic
Gender: woman babey
Star sign: cancer
Height : HAHA TALLER THAN MY OLDER SIBLING S H O R T L M A O
Time: 5:50 am don’t tell my friends i’m going to bed when i post this i swear
Birthday: july
Favourite bands: seventeen, and i vibe to like, panic!, twice, does the cast of newsies count as a band?
Favourite soloists: listen i’ll vibe to anybody with solid lyrics or a good melody so like, halsey, carrie underwood, taylor swift has been a big one recently, anna nalik, miranda lambert, yknow. all the shit i listened to like six years ago has returned to my playlist cause i’m Stressed tm (ngl the house that built me came on and i actually started crying in the middle of making enchiladas w my entire family like i went straight from DOUBLE BUBBLE DISCO QUEEN to sobbing in the sauce)
i mean not actually the sauce you know what i mean
Last movie: ah shit probably like. pollyanna or something. NO WAIT IT WAS THAT FUCKIN SECOND BORN ROYALS MOVIE ON DISNEY+ THAT MY FAMILY WATCHED WHILE SORTING ALL THE OLD CLOTHES WE DON’T FIT ANYMORE
Last show: shit uhh i think it was like. the three caballeros yknow that animated series with donald duck it’s on disney+. unless we count my mom’s episodes of criminal minds that she watches in the room next to me
Song stuck in my head: an absolutely bizarre combination of that “she’s a wh*re” song clip from tik tok, “the world will know” from newsies, the rock violin cover of the phantom of the opera from the umbrella academy, and like. the twelve days of christmas as sung by straight no chaser, specifically the section where they start doing africa. i don’t know what’s going on either.
When I created this blog: idk a while ago. like three years? four years?
Last thing I googled: ah shit. probably something for premiere pro, adobe software sucks it’s the least intuitive shit i have ever used literally the program i used to write in java worked easier than fucking premiere pro
Other blogs: @ismyreadinglistgoodenoughforyou and i have a couple more but those are classified by order of [redacted]. i can reblog onto @tctwriters but that’s not technically mine it’s OURS anyway follow tctwriters
Do I get asks: nah dude which sux cause my favorite thing to talk about is me l m a o
Why I chose my url: dude i don’t remember i wanted to rebrand from the god awful ‘ismycapsloudenoughforyou’ so i think we went, ok, so seventeen. svt. and my discord status was probably “stop bullying jeonghan’s knee >:(” so they were like, ok knees. and i went ah SHIT, KNEECAPS and then i just. did that.
Following : my guy do you think i know
Followers : like a graduating class worth
Lucky numbers: idk like 12 and 7 and maybe 32
Avg hours of sleep: o jesus well uh. anywhere between 4 and 12 it depends on if i have something to do the next day
Instruments: i can play viola and some flute, i’ve briefly dabbled in piano, ukulele, harmonica, and accordion
What I’m wearing right now: haha state football merch and socks that clash very drastically bc it’s goddamn cold in my house fuck
Dream trip: honestly any trip is my dream trip as long as a couple specific people come. like literally a trip to the grocery store could be my dream trip as long as these specific people are there yknow. people make the trip more than the actual places, for me
Favourite food: o i forgot to answer this one uhhh dr pepper isn’t a food but i don’t eat and my veins run with the stuff
Nationality: american ahaha
Favourite song: ah shit dude it depends on my mood i can’t answer this rn i literally just got “WILL WE LET EM STUFF THIS CROCK O’ GARBAGE DOWN OUR THROATS” stuck in my head and now i can’t actually remember any other songs anyway it’s Home Run stream Home Run by Seventeen guys stream Home Run it’s a fucking bop and the music video is absolute quality i literally didn’t listen to another song for a week and a half after it dropped and i’m not kidding in the slightest stream Home Run by Seventeen guys.
Top three Fictional Universe: it has been so long since i’ve experienced anything that’s original fiction i mean like, jowling kowling rowling is a fucking terf and we hate her LMAO so the only harry potter universe i can vibe with is one that’s thoroughly headcanoned to squeeze all the bullshit out of it, but i vibe with those kinds (i’ve written those kinds, or tried anyway lmao).
also i couldn’t actually read the Lord of the Rings series bc Tolkien’s prose was just way too dense for me to enjoy without it feeling like i was reading a textbook, but i read the Hobbit and i talk to my dad about it sometimes cause he listens to a podcast where they analyze it, and literally the absolute care and time he put into making every section of that world feel alive is absolutely buck fuckin wild to me i mean fuck it up Tolkien that’s fucking incredible. that is batshit insane you incredible man, godspeed.
and doctor who is lit as fuck, tbh i vibe hard with the rtd era shit, they kind of lost me at eleven and also took that shit off amazon prime before i was done watching shitheads but like you have to admit that’s a giant fictional universe and it feels Alive as hell and i vibe with that hard like i vibed so hard i fuckin started writing my own goddamn season just bc i wanted to play around in that lovely lovely sandbox so kudos to them i guess
not in that order
anyway idk who to tag so if you’re seeing this from tctwriters and actually have notifs on for that blog, you’re up dummy i love you. i’d say anyone who wants to take it but nobody ever does so this is for the tctwriters i’m calling you out SPECIFICALLY.
#shut up vic#no seriously shut up vic what the hell#thank u for tagging me i enjoyed talking about nothing for far too long#my favorite pastime tbh L M A O#love u <3
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Hi there ❤️ can I request you some Headcanons for Ohma, Raian, Gaolang ans Saw from Kengan Ashura ! they are near the swimming pool and they noticed their crush coming in a very beautiful/ sexy Bikini. thanks !! ❤️
Iuhcduhefuhucheihiebd writing about sexy Fighters is 100% OKAY 🤤
• KENGAN ASHURA - THE BOYS SEEING THEIR CRUSH IN A BEAUTIFUL BIKINI AT THE SWIMMING POOL OF THE HOTEL •
OHMA TOKITA :
- well he isn’t really emotional in public, like damn the only time we saw him smile was when he was fighting or eating
- however THIS MAN CAN FEEL
- and when he saw you with this beautiful F/c bikini at the swimming pool, trust me he was definitely felling something.
- as you approach him to say hello, he will stare at you without any emotion but his brain is trying to analyse what his feelings are saying.
- Kaede is the first who is complimented you, followed by Lihito and our Ashura is still staring at you with piercing eyes.
- even when Lihito is starting to flirt with you he is not even pissed too focused on assembling the informations your awesome body was giving to his poor brain.
- “ this color looks good on you”
- still with his neutral face but now he is staring at your eyes like he is gonna eat your soul.
- I’m afraid this man doesn’t know how to flirt but you got it right.
- your Adorable “ thank you Ohma” made his day but he didn’t reply to you thinking the conversation was over.
- still watch you while you are talking with Kaede about coming to the Spa together
- he isn’t aware that he is staring at your chest, which made you a little uncomfortable but oddly you know that he isn’t a pervert.
- Lihito telling him discreetly to stop staring because it’s rude.
- now you’re all alone with him because Kaede went to her room to take her VIP card for the Spa you two are going to do and Lihito being Lihito accompanied her
- you are both silent while looking at each other
- you started the conversation by suggesting to go next to the beach waiting for them to come back ( because you were not comfortable with our Ashura’ gaze on you )
- before you walk back, he aggressively took your hands while pronouncing your name.
- BRUH HEART ATTACK
- INTENSE EYE CONTACT ( you’re dying inside )
- “ Y/n you look really Ho.....
- OHMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMA ! ( bruh you know who it is)
- you being push in the water by Karla Kure ( damn she has a lot of strength for a teenager ) who is now stuck on Ohma’ Abs.
- him not realizing what happened started to freak out when he saw Karla’s lips next to his and ran away as fast as he can.
- he was not here anymore when you get out the water but oddly you felt really happy about what he almost said before YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT OR WHO push you on the water lol
⭐️ If you’re his crush and he doesn’t really knows you, he is gonna stare at you without any comment or shame in hope that you will notice him I guess. And then turn his head when he’ll get caught. Like a 10 y old boy basically
RAIAN KURE : my fav
- oh fuck
- Sorry.
- basically like “ This bitch is showing off” “ she is not that pretty hmph”
- he is gonna feel many emotions when he’ll see you sunbathing alone on a long chair.
- First he is gonna mentally insult you I guess like why do you have to be so pretty and all, tries to convince himself that you are just doing it for attention ( DONT TRY TO UNDERSTANT ITS RAIAN )
- is glaring at you like a Mad dog
- Second, while glaring at you he’ll analyze your look and how your hairstyle, skin and bikini fit perfectly
- his gaze softened a bit as you take your sunglasses off, so he can see your beautiful eyes.
- HIS BRAIN DO NOT WANT TO UNDERSTAND THAT HE GOT THE HOTS FOR YOU
- after this 20 long minutes at staring at you and trust me having those dark eyes glaring at you during almost half an hour is SUPER LONG AND SCARY. he finally accepts the fact that you are hot and he is attracted to you ( I mean probably only sexually ) he will finally see you as a prey or as a trophy if he noticed that other men were looking at you.
- will go to see you ( more bother you because Raian is fucking Raian )
- the rest of his family being like : WTF IS THIS KID DOING AGAIN
- the whole swimming pool froze as he started walking toward you. ( this man almost killed a man remember )
- you greeted him with a normal but awesome smile “ Good Afternoon Raian. What’s up ？
- your cool attitude pissed him even more because you’re not afraid or anxious about him being next to you.
- is gonna make mean or childish comments about you and your relaxing position.
- you responding normally because you’re used to the Devil’s manners.
- Him getting even more pissed because you’re not loosing your cool
- showing off his Abs for SUUUUUUUURE
- Raian wouls smirk at every boys that were looking at you while talking to you to make them jealous, inferior and frustrated ( you can’t see him because you’re basically almost sleeping )
- threatens you to throw you into the cold water ( and will fucking do it )
- really don’t try him
- Shit.. too late you are in the swimming pool completely wet.
- he jumped with you in his arms so he is also in the swimming pool with you but doesn’t seem to be affected by the cold water
- if you can swin you’re gonna look at him like WTF IS YOUR PROBLEM ?! Before laughing I guess
- if you cannot swim you are gonna hug Raian very hard because your afraid I suppose. ( + him being proud because your boobs are stick to him )
⭐️ if he doesn’t know you, he is gonna have the same reaction but will not come to you directly. He is gonna try to make you noticing him first so he can catch you and do a famous SEXY SMIRK + SHOWING ABS at you.
GAOLANG WONGSAWAT:
- awww it’s your turn pretty FacePalm guy
- probably at the swimming pool with Saw Paing and some other fighters
- noticed you immediately but didn’t stare because he knows it’s rude
- expects his crush to see him and doesn’t do anything
- finally understand that his Crush saw him but is too intimidated by his group of friends so she is not gonna come to say hello to him ( Bruh they’re so tAll and could kill you a simple flick )
- Gaolang going to the bar alone so you can go to him without being annoyed by his friends
- PINAPPLE JUICE ORDER
- “ hi there Gaolang”
- is a little surprised by your presence at first but greeted you with a very warm smile
- invite you to take a drink with him ( it’s free for both of you because you’re VIP however he would have paid for you )
- interesting conversation
- talking about Japan in general because both of you are foreigners here ( if you are not then he’ll ask you many thing about Japanese cultures )
- is gonna talk about Thailand and ask about your country too
- you don’t even see the time passes because you two are enjoying yourself at the bar
- probably being interrupted by Saw Paing screaming somewhere so Gaolang has to go to stop his friend
- before leaving you he’ll give you a small cute smile meaning I’m coming back
- after stopping Saw Paing from terrorizing everyone he would come back to you and offer you to walk next to the sea while chatting
- You’re not crazy and you ACCEPTED IT OF COURSE
- after a long walk full of laught ( and romantical tension ) he would just says : I found you very pretty Y/n.
- BIG BLUSH ON YOUR FACE
- you didn’t expected that ans you didn’t respond right now which made him feel anxious poor baby
- is finally reassured when you thanked him and is probably blushing
- will make sure you’re back to your hotel room safe and may even ask you for another date later in the week.
⭐️ if he doesn’t know you, he is the type that would observe you from afar before maybe I said maybe try to talk to you if he got the occasion.
SAW PAING YOROIZUKA : babyyyyy
- do I really have to make this one ?
- Y/n YOU LOOK SO AMAZING !
- Screams the second he saw you
- you being scared at first but once you noticed that it was Saw Paing you felt reassured in a way.
- SHOWER OF COMPLIMENTS your ego is fucking boosted to the level 100 easily
- has no shame
- will drag you to the beach with him because a lot of people were glaring at you two and he doesn’t want to make you uncomfortable
- IS ACTUALLY A BIG FLIRT WITHOUT NOTICING IT
- take your hands h24 to drag you somewhere
- you two planned to surf, I mean you wanted him to teach you a little ( sounds like a Date Bruh just imagine )
- really want to help you and is very tender in a way with you like he helps you with your position and all by gently touching you.
- in his head he really wanna get close to you only by helping you and not really By hitting on you like others guys ( what a cutie )
- cute nicknames game between you two
- sees you as the perfect teammate
- compliments, compliments, compliments and ALSO COMPLIMENTS
- your Surf class will end up with you two playing in the water like children
- he is very energetic but doesn’t want to accidentally hurt you so he is more calm in a way but still SCREAMING
- “ I Really Had Fun Today Y/n lets doit again !”
- him wanting you to meet Gaolang for sure ( or if you two met because of him, I’ll like the three of you to spend more time together )
- secretly stare at your Ass and legs sometimes
- May threaten you to throw you into the ocean if you don’t give him little kiss for the lesson maybe
- having many fighters shipping you two together
- other thinking WTF IS SHE DOING WITH THIS CRAZY
- probably you two eating snack together at the end of the day
- he is clearly proud to be seen with you for some reason
⭐️ If he didn’t know you and just saw you at the swimming pool, I feel like he would compliment you from afar but SAW PAING BEING SAW PAING you would notice him immediately because he is so fuckin loud and give him a cute smile.
#kenganashura#kenganashuraxreader#kenganashuraheadcanons#kenganashuraoneshot#kemganashuraimagine#ohmatokita#ohma#Sawpaing#Gaolang#RaianKure#kenganashuraomega#kenganashurafanfiction
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Alastor writing/ Character ref sheet
NOTE: This is MY interpretation/ notes of my characterization of Alastor. Most is speculation and the other parts are just me having fun imagining what his character could be like. This is no way meant to be official or taken as cannon in any way.
A wonderful user by the name of dolly moon complied a lot of information from Viv’s streams. I’m referencing some of the information here so please check them out, they did a fantastic job making notes.
Warning: Contains talk about murder, cannibalism and other possible triggering subjects.
General
---NAME: Alastor---
Died: 1933
Age: 30′s
Occupation: Former radio host and serial killer. Currently powerful overlord in hell
Main Personality/ notes
Always smiling (He sees people frowning as weak)
Sadistic
Charming and charismatic
Very proud( puffed out chest, arms behind back)
He's controlling/ does things his own way
Careful! He's not too braggy, or too forceful/ demanding.
Ex:
Viv stated in her qna that the pilot was originally going to have Alastor boast about himself and his backstory. Instead vaggie narrates his backstory. She changed this because Alastor wasn’t the type of person to flaunt his achievements. He knows that everyone knows how powerful he is, he’s not the type to rub it in.
He's supposed to be charming, but still proud, juuuust in the right way
He knows what he wants, but doesn’t necessarily brute-forces his way to get it.
Ex:
"He-" "-llo!"
He KNOWS he's getting in hotel regardless, but waits for Charlie to open up the door before invading the hallway.
Deceitful; When asked why he wants to help out at the hotel, he says:
"Consider it an investment in ongoing entertainment for myself!"
'This is what you can think my reason is...' is essentially what he's saying. He answers Charlie’s question in a roundabout way that givers her what she wants to know while still keeping his true intentions secret.
Time and time again, he lets his mask down slightly when Charlie isn’t looking.
At 24:10 he narrows his eyes when she has her back turned to him
At the beginning of his song he distracts her with magic so he can push Vaggie away.
When he says “...And it’s just laughable-” during he reprise he turns away from Charlie to say this, he leans down to Vaggie.
He’s a hypocrite (hates being touched, invades other’s personal space)
Watches people do things the hard way and then reveal he can do it once it's done just to watch people fuck up
DELIGHTS in watching people failing/ struggling to do things. He likes observing people/ sinners as they are battling with their conflicted emotions.
He’s curious (He stopped by the ‘radio shack’ place to see what Charlie was talking about on the broadcast, and cocked his head when she started singing. To me that meant, “Oh? What’s this now? Something new?” he was intrigued and wanted to know more)
He analyzes people. He looks at the Magne family portrait when left alone. You can briefly hear him playing Charlie’s “Inside of every demon is a rainbow” song, and smiling.
He picks up on things quickly. Vaggie makes it clear she doesn’t like the idea of him being there, and he messes with her.
He puts his elbow on her and pushes her away ( 20:44-20:48)
He pulls her chin up and tells her to ‘smile’
He’s egotistical. No one is really ‘up to his level’
He gives verbal and physical affection constantly throughout the pilot, but it’s not genuine.
Likes being unpredictable
Primary drive:
Decisions are weighed in his own wants/ feelings. He wants to be amused, he chases exciting/ entertaining things. Think of him as like a cat chasing a mouse.
Fears:
He doesn’t fear anyone. But is wary of powerful threats.
He dislikes dogs
Physical Expression:
He’s VERY, VERY expressive through his body language and eyes. Large/ easy to read emotions can be perceived through his body language (Leaning towards someone, or leaning away). Smaller/ pinpoint emotions can be read through his eyes and type of smile (Wide eyes, squinted, closed vs open smile, etc.)
He’s like a bird, fluffing out his feathers constantly. (He fixes his hair briefly at 24:41)
He expresses himself proudly. ‘This is who I am, remember that!!’.
Viv said the reason why almost all of characters have nicknames is that a soul’s real name is dangerous, its a way others can have power over you. Yet Alastor uses his first name, because he’s not scared and confident in who he is as a person. He doesn’t hide from any aspect of himself.
I’ve stated he hates being touched by others. When he picks up Nifty in the pilot, she poofs out and spreads her limbs out. At 25:41, Alastor turns his head away from her briefly so she doesn’t touch him.
Flaws/ Weaknesses:
(Note: Basically anything already stated can be a problem depending on the situation, I’m just saying things about his character that he’d find weak or naturally cause problems)
His mother, he’d do anything for her.
He has a darker/ more powerful demon side to him where he runs purely on instinct/ primitive emotions.
He’s arrogant. This can cause problems!
---
Killer/ moral compass profile (Living)
Motivations:
Thrill Killer- Pleasure from pain
Slight power/control aspect involved as well.
‘Causes’
Childhood trauma (abusive father)
Environmental factors (mother died when he was 18-20)
Type of killer:
*Note: I’m still not 100% satisfied with this part, I might make some changes later*
He won’t just kill anyone. They have to meet a certain list of requirements.
Viv compared him as someone similar to Dexter
He’s a very goal oriented killer. Whatever he did it was with reason and purpose, meticulously planned.
Ex: Maybe one year he’d kill someone who was a real jerk, to see how the others around him flourished. Likewise he might kill someone who was important to the community just to see how the grief made everyone react.
He was a very careful killer, he ended up dying purely on accident, bad luck.
He killed for the fun of it, pure joy, excitement, curiosity. But he only killed people he thought deserved it.
He considers what he does to be ‘work’. He expresses in the pilot how after decades in hell it’s become ‘mundane’ and ‘aimless’.
The victims had to be overconfident to some degree.(This ties into the ‘he wouldn’t chase his victims.’ They had to be somewhat full of themselves or naive)
Some kills are personal (Someone wronging him, trying to hurt him, otherwise he just wouldn’t care if some guy is an asshole) but others are just because he feels like they’re bad/ they’ve have done something that they need to die for.
He used ‘personal’ ways of killing people. (Knife, his hands). I don’t think he would have used a gun of any kind because of the noise, but he could have once every blue moon.
Generally doesn’t draw things out for too long
”...If I wanted to hurt anyone here... I would have done so already.”
(He defeats Sir Pentious in under a minute. But still takes the time to crush him and drag his body across the floor.)
He ate people, and knew how to make delicious meals out of them.
Buried his victim’s bodies/ remains on a hunting ground for deer.
Morals
No human is pure or kind just because. They’re selfish beings. Who take and act to help their own causes. Everyone is a monster on the inside.
“...redemption, the nonexistent humanity!”
Everyone puts on a mask to hide who they truly are. Life is one big game to see who can survive.
“...the world is a stage! And the stage, is a world of entertainment!”
People don’t change
“...there is no undoing what is done.”
Puts himself first, and above everyone else. He also degrades others.
“I don’t think there’s any hope left for such loathsome sinners...”
”Inside of every demon is a lost cause, but we’ll dress them up for now with just a smile!”
“...and show these simpletons some proper class and style...”
“...do I know you?”
“You think I’m [husk] some kind of fuckin’ clown!?” “...maybe!”
People deserve the consequences they get for being themselves
“...the chance given was the life they lived before, the punishment is this!”
He understands what society views as good and evil, but doesn’t really believe in those standards himself. What is considered evil he just views as a hobby or something fun to explore.
Ex:
Cannibalism is wrong by society’s standards, but to him he thinks the greater wrong is killing something and not making use of it.
He has some level of empathy. (Again, He’d never kill a child or those running away.)
People’s emotions are a fun little game to him.
“...I want to watch the scum of the earth struggle to climb up the hill of betterment! Only to repeatedly trip, and tumble down into the firey pit of failure!”
Doesn’t see value in being nice or honest. (He does find it funny to watch)
Other notes/ hc
He’s knowledgeable. In more ways than one. He knows not to fuck with certain people if he doesn’t want to get hurt, he’s got knowledge on the workings/ operations of hell and deal-making.
Likes to cook
He likes bitter things (Bloody meat, alcohol, black coffee)
He’s got a party side to him.
He speaks french!
He plays musical instruments
He knows how to fight without his powers
He’s an only child
He’s part creole
He hates silence, he always surrounds himself with noise of some kind.
Husk and Alastor have a long, complicated relationship
He does things to make Nifty happy (Wearing sweaters)
He’d go out into a hurricane just to let it beat him down for fun (Why is this so funny to me)
Despite all he is, Alastor is capable of having friends and loving.
Has absolutely NO romantic experience.
He hates modern technology in general, but hates tik tok the most
The idea of Alastor cross-dressing to lure his victims in is absolutely hilarious to me, but I don’t think he’d ever do it.
#i made this to help me write him#alastor is deceivingly difficult to write if you dont understand him#and he's WAY more complicated than you'd think#hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel alastor#alastor#writing
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Lesson time with Dani:
youtube
I think the lesson we all learned here today is why do we still watch top ten channels? Or just... list channels? In general? Like sure, i watch them sometimes when i know the info is real and legit like top 10 Philippine urban legends you've never heard of (lol thats a lie, everyone knows that literally every Philippine university is fucking haunted and i grew up on that shit bitch) but when the listing is so BLATANTLY FAKE with the most clickbait thumbnail, why do people still fuckin fall for that shit, ugh. Didn't we already learn from last year's youtube rewind? Jesus...
Anyways, let's get on to twosets... CRITIQUE on their top 10 hardest instruments.
10. Drums. Oh. My. Fuckin. God. So the conductors are literally just hired to fucking stand there and look pretty? And that all that practice of trying to play that song or piece oN TIME WITH AND WITHOUT PERCUSSION was for nOTHING? Oh my gosh, i never kNEW. And like, dude. Driving needs all four limbs at once, is it considered doing four separate things at once??? Fucking nO, BECAUSE ALL THE LIMBS ARE DOING AND ACCOMPLISHING ONE GOAL. AKA DRIVING. And like, AJSKBSOSDJ watch twoset's explanation. I don't think i can properly explain without going into a rant... its also midnight and my brain is fucking deteriorating. (Even more so with this top 10 video)
9. Pipe organ. Dude, i was immediately lost after they showed the bumblebee clip. There are!!! So many!!! More good!!! And more amazing!!! Classical pieces!!! Than fucking bUMBLEBEE!!! Dude, you could've just asked her to play Bach toccata and fugue in d minor. oH, AND SPEAKING OF TOCCATA AND FUGUE IN D MINOR, WHY DID YOU- AJSNSJDKANDK YOU PUT THE ORGAN IN THERE WHY DID- ASOFBEIFJEK OKAY okay. Im calm. It's just different recordings, its fine. And the sentence the guy said while that clip was playing? Bro, i watched that part multiple times, and i sTILL don't get what you're trying to sayyyyyyy. And the divine intervention thing? Bro, i wish this top 10 vid had a divine intervention.
8. Acordion. Dude. Let me just... let me just pull a direct quote. Ahem... bASS NOTES ANE KEYBOARD DOESNT MEAN YOURE OLAYING TWO INSTRUMENTS. I just... the levels of frustration ive ascended to. My god, for once im glad that i didn't get to post this at midnight. Gave me some time to gather my head so i can watch this without fucking bursting.
7. Oboe. Oh boy. Dude. I've learned a bit of recorder and im pretty fUCKING sure that you make a sound by moving your fingers and lightly blowing into it, not by fucking folding paper origami with your mouth. And like, the moistness doesn't even matter that much. Your mouth will naturally moist the mouthpiece, you don't need to fucking spit on it. God.
6. Guitar. Okay, first time i saw guitar on this list i actually laughed out loud. (No offense guitarists i still think yalls music is great) Also, what the fuck. What the fuck. What the FUCK are they saying. First, yall say that it's all played the same way. THEN, you follow it up play saying it has tons of styles?! Oh my god, its like the video inforgraphics made for the scp foundation all over again... fam i haven't even watched that vid but i already know its shit.
5. Piano. Like twoset's point, if you're making a top 10 HARDEST, gET SOME HARDER PIECES AND RECORDINGS. DUDE, THERES FUCKING LISZT, RACHMANINOFF, THE LIST GOES ON. God, yall could've found a recording of La campanella and i would be fine. Fur elise even. But okay, sure. Do whatever. At least twoset gets more content this way. And wOW ALL THOSE HOURS OF PRACTICE WAS USELESS AND FOR NOTHING?!?!?!? aMaZiNG!!!! Can you tell i want to die.
4. Harp. Like I said earlier, if you're gonna play a recording of a piece, might as well make it match to the instrument but okay sure this is fine. Put a fucking recording of an ORGAN piece to the harp but okayyyyyy sureeeeee. I mean i get that musicians can play whatever they want but like, dude. This is a list. Do some fucking research. I don't even think i need to say anymore on the subject. The boys already said it all. And im tired. I just woke up and immediately, i am tired. Tsvtwt, please bless me with pics and fancams pLEASE.
3. Bagpipes. Do i need to reiterate my point from harp.and piano? Also, wha- how- why- dude. Ugh, all the shit this guy said in this entire video can just be slapped onto literally any instrument, as twoset said.
2. French horn. I have never met any brass players but, im pretty fucking sure you don't need an ego the size of texas to play that. I just- man, i wanna go back to sleep. It's morning already and fUCK analyzing how fucking wrong watchmojo is, is killing me.
Fuck dude, i had to scroll thru tsvtwt for energy. This is how wrecked my bad is. I never take tsvtwt breaks in the middle of making these posts. God...
And dude. Theremin is so much better than that. Agt... yall couldve hotten a better recording...
Anyways, back to the listing.
1. Violin. (Heavy flashbacks to instrument ranking vid) Dude. Wh-why you showing a fiddle recording. I- just look at my points for piano and harp. And dude, holding the instrument is probably the easiest part. Watch me sink into the floor and turn into a puddle of frustration guys.
Sigh. I think the lesson we all learned here today (other than the lesson up top) is that all instruments are hard.
#lesson time with dani#like i said earlier#this is probably the first and last time im happy about posting this late#god i was so braindead and tired last night#and they even forgot to kill the wifi#but i probably wouldve just gone on ridiculous tangents if i didn't take a nap so#good job me#at least i watched it three times before i passed out#twosetviolin#twoset violin#twoset#watch mojo#top 10#top 10 instruments#not incorrect twoset#not incorrect twoset quotes#not incorrect quote#not incorrect quotes#not a quote#eddy chen#brett yang
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She’s All That (1999)
Rich and popular makes a bet with his “friend”, whose personality is pretty much summed up by the fact that he has frosted tips, that he can turn any girl into the prom queen after getting dumped by his longtime girlfriend.
Now don’t get me wrong, I love this movie, but every time I watch it I can’t help but be amazed at how absurd it is. I mean, cliché plot aside, every individual piece that makes up this 1 hour and 30 minute ode to the individual is completely insane. What universe does this take place in? What high school do they go to?
That being said, I really like the opening shots to this movie, it definitely gives you a good introduction to the main character. Laney Boggs. She’s political and messy and 100% down to her bones an art student. She isn’t afraid to be dark.
In contrast I feel like the first meeting of the main love interest really doesn’t set him up to be who the writers want you to think he is. I mean he rolls up to school in a bright yellow Jeep with a Mr. Prez vanity plate. Then you see his shoes when he gets out of the car, fuckin’ ugly ass leather loafers. I’m sorry I know this means nothing I just have a hard time believing this jock wears these fucking shoes they’re so god damn ugly.
Every moment that introduces him makes it seem like he should be the villain, he has pretty much no redeeming qualities that we can see besides his wit (barely) and good looks. I just don’t understand why we’re supposed to like him, this is Sixteen Candles all over again. Hot rich guy, is an asshole, for some reason I still root for and love him. How does that work? What makes these characters so grossly likable? I mean, his name is Zack. That alone raises a red flag for me. That’s a frat boy asshole name. Zacks are friends of Kyle that’s all I’m saying.
Once we get through his painfully douchey introduction we get introduced to Zack’s equally douchey friends frosted tips and Gus from psych. (don’t ask me what their actual names are it’s not important anyway, that is essentially their personalities) The first thing we hear is them talking about summer break and their vacations, further driving home how rich they are and how weird it is that adults write movies about teenagers having gratuitous amounts of sex with adults. Then Zach tries unsuccessfully to say something philosophical about them graduating soon (I have to keep reminding myself that he’s supposed to have like the 4th highest GPA in their class) They then meet the most 90s girls I have ever seen. Who I guess are supposed to be popular? One thing I do like is how diverse all the characters are, they don’t all look exactly the same which I feel tends to be a problem with high school movies.
So we finally meet the “popular girl” Taylor Vaughn, Zack’s girlfriend and she immediately breaks up with him (which honestly is probably a good idea anyway) and his “friends” fucking laugh at him which he really had coming. I mean. Look at his hair.
This launches what is probably one of my favorite narrated flashback scenes of all time, not because the topic is particularly interesting but because I love the way they have Zach interrupt her inside of the flashback. It’s a very small addition that really gives the scene style. Also we see this hot girl start dating Shaggy??? Also one of the villains from the original Scream???( he only really plays one character.) Makes me laugh every time. Also makes me a little uncomfortable every time since she’s in high school and he’s who knows how old but whatever not important. This also leads to one of my favorite exchanges in the whole movie.
youtube
Taylor wraps up her spring break story time with one of the rawest lines I've ever seen in a 90s movie (she really did that to him) and the director throws in a classic high school movie trope, everyone actually caring enough to stop and watch this exchange. And while I usually hate this kind of character worship, since this movie is already so bizarre and unrealistic it actually kinda fits
We then cut to Laney’s art class which includes her teacher that for some reason thinks her art isn’t personal enough and two clown obsessed Lydia Deetz knock offs. I have to say I do love this part where the art students literally suggest that she kill herself in order to have her art recognized. Very realistic conversation between art students.
That whole scene is really funny though because it doesn’t feel like it belongs in this movie. Even the music doesn't fit which is only emphasized by the sudden bell ringing transition back into a stereotypical high school movie. It reminds me of movies like the craft, the way it’s cut together, the way the characters talk, how Laney just stares straight ahead after not saying anything. It seems like she could have chosen a completely different movie to be in. Like if the movie was a chose your own adventure, she could have been in a different genre entirely and the movie would have been about her and those girls faking her death to get recognition and make money from her paintings. which would have been sick. but that isn't the movie I’m watching. Which I’m reminded of when fucking Zack comes back on screen.
Also right before the scene where the actual bet is introduced we meet the school’s resident DJ??? which isn’t important at all but is so strange that I feel the need to point it out. Like they don’t just have a guy who does the announcements they have like a disc jockey who is just there all the time??? There are just so many little things in this movie that make it so weird.
So fucking Brock pukashells pulls up and Zach just flips. Which is understandable it is a very gross moment but he just fucking goes off about Taylor and how she’s not that great and he could get with any girl in the school. His friends point out that bitch boy forgot that Taylor Vaughn is “an institution” and basically Zach with tits. She’s very important. This is something I never get about movies like this, has anyone actually been to a high school where someone was that well known. But also not liked? Like sure she’s hot, but she’s also a grade A bitch to everyone. and according to Zach nothing more than a C minus GPA in a Wonderbra.
Once you get through the misogyny plus ultra scene and they finally make the bet, frosted tips has picked the girl Zach has to turn into the prom queen. Scary inaccessible Laney Boggs. He’s got 6 weeks to make her popular. He starts off his first exchange with her in the best way possible. By calling her brother Spaz (as his name). Again, we’re supposed to like this guy I think. I don’t know when he’s supposed to become a likable character but I can’t imagine it’s during all these scenes where he just legit insults people.
I also love all of the clips we get to see from Brock’s time on The Real World Which make me really question why all the girls fan girl over him given that he’s actually the worst, even on the show. We also get introduced to Zack’s sister who probably should have been a lesbian given how queer coded her character is besides the fact that she desperately wants a boyfriend. She even goes to an all girls school it would have been perfect. But alas, this movie is gay-less.
We are then introduced to another b-plot in this movie, Zack’s indecision about college. This was I guess to make him more human? or something? To sort of flesh him out and give him problems but honestly he doesn't have any problems. Later in the movie Laney points this out to him, he can do whatever he wants. This whole college thing is resolved fairly quickly later in the film too, it’s not very important it’s just the only thing we see about Zack besides being a perfect high schooler throughout the whole movie. Well that and his terrible performance art and being an asshole.
After we see that Zack has been accepted by every Ivy League school and their mother (I’m not jealous I swear) we take a brief Taylor being a bitch detour before getting back to Zack making an ass of himself. This time he’s bothering Laney at her job which is awesome we love that. Again I don’t know why we like this guy he does like 3 nice things the whole movie. Anyway she gets defensive like she always does and he fumbles around trying to talk like he’s a normal person and not a walking cliché and then there’s this really strange exchange where he tries to asked her for help in art classes and she says “you don’t take art” and he’s like “how do you know?” and she’s like “Why haven't I seen you in any of my classes?” and like, I get what they were going for but what kind of high school is this? how does she have time to take more than one art class? How is she already an art major before she’s in college that’s not how high school works. I only ever had one school where I could take more than two extra curriculars and that was in middle school and it was only because they fucked up and put me in four hours of study hall and so I just went to all of the art classes that were offered. But that’s different. And am I way over analyzing this movie? yes. Does anyone but me care about this shit? probably not, but I’m gonna talk about it anyway.
I also really like Laney’s best friend who’s kind of just there, all the time, he’s such a good wing man. He also made the best excuse to get out of seeing that weird ass art show she’s in. He’s like, oh good I don’t have to see another Mitch show. He’s probably in his underwear in all of them, I wouldn’t want to go either. I think it really says something about the performance art world though, because this is probably the most believable part of the whole movie. If someone told me that his is just an actual performance art piece that they used in this movie I would absolutely believe them. Also one of the weird gremlins in this piece says what is probably my favorite quote ever which is “my soul is an island, my car is a Ford” like what the fuck is that I love that so much.
I really want to know how they came up with this shit, it’s so perfect. It also is another one of these parts in the movie that doesn’t really add anything. A lot of the movie is like this, I feel like 90% of this movie is weird filler scenes and the rest in plot. Like it’s so obvious how it’s going to end that you barely even need to watch most of the movie, and even when you do watch most of the movie it always kind of feels like it only half has something to do with the plot. I’m not even going to talk about the weird hacky Sack scene, I can’t handle how embarrassing and cringey it is I pretty much always skip through it. What a dick move of Laney’s to even put him in that situation. The whole “your eyes are really beautiful” scene is also really strange, both his lines and her reaction don’t really make sense. Through most of this movie when they actually talk to each other I feel like they don’t have any chemistry. It’s the same when he subtly blackmails her into going to the beach with him. He’s awkward and barely says anything that prompts a response and then she just goes full WOKE EMO on him and like, they really do have nothing in common I do not understand their relationship. And then his friends show up and he’s like, “If we’re gonna be friends we’ll have to deal with them eventually” which like, 1: wow get some friends you actually like maybe? And 2: how are you guys friends, you’ve barely ever managed to exchange civil words on screen. Actually maybe that makes sense, this is why he thinks this is okay (besides the whole bet thing) maybe he doesn’t realize he’s supposed to actually like his friends and girlfriend. Because it really seems like he doesn’t like any of them, which I get. Except for Gus (not his name but whatever) because that guy’s actually pretty funny and spends the whole movie calling frosted tips out whenever he sounds too much like Kenny from Can’t Hardly Wait.
The whole beach scene is kinda take it or leave it too, there are a lot of moments where we see Laney hang out with Zack and other people but honestly through the whole movie there really isn’t a whole lot of growth. We don’t actually really see them bond or talk, we’re supposed to believe their relationship is growing but I guess that must be happening off screen because I don’t see it.
One of my favorite parts is when Zack forces the JV soccer team to clean Laney’s house, the kid answering the jeopardy question and her dad just realizing they were there. Oh man, gets me every time. The makeover scene is also pretty cute, I always love those. Also the whole “new, not improved, but different Laney Boggs” thing is adorable and I appreciate it.
The evolving of the characters and their relationships don’t happen gradually, what little is actually shown is pretty much in like 3 parts, the opening, the party scene, and the end. The characters are very flat for most of the movie and they have very little personality, but the party scene is very fun to watch. From “Gracias, papi!” to Laney turning Misty into a clown, and then the Give it to Me dance sequence. And even though the characters haven’t really given me a good reason to care about them my heart still hurts a little for Laney when Taylor ruins her dress. That’s the thing about this movie, I shouldn’t care, I shouldn’t like these characters, but I still do, and I have no idea why.
The Brock dumping Taylor thing was great, the parallel was expected but I actually think it added to the story. In fact most of the things after the party actually feel necessary to the movie which is nice. Even the soccer practice actually leads to something. I don’t know what it is about the 2nd quarter of this movie that feels so empty but whatever it is it’s enough that I saw a noticeable difference when I got to the third act of this movie.
It’s a small part but I also really love the alternative clubs that make signs in favor of Laney for prom queen. They’re just so fucking funny to me. I mean, Hygiene club? Prisoners club??? What?
Then they pull another fast feelings thing on me again. They throw the mom painting scene at me and like, wow that’s sad. Then Zack tries to garner sympathy for the problems that he makes for himself. Then boom they flip on me again they’re cute and I like them. Then she says that weird thing about prom and he just dips man. And like, Why do they gotta do me like that? I cannot seem to decide if I like these characters or not it’s so weird how this dialogue is written.
And then the dream happens? Definitely one of the best scenes in the whole movie. So fucking perfect. It really just adds to the weird slight surrealness of this whole movie.
Then we go back to the school and suddenly everyone is dressing like Laney? In support I guess? Again can I just ask what fucking school they go to? And then there’s the beat boxing scene? Where they rap about who’s gonna be prom queen? I’ve never even met anybody that invested in the outcome of who’s gonna be prom queen except for those running. I don’t even think I know anybody who voted. Even so, I do love the beat box scene, they really spit some bars.
Also I just noticed that in that super fucked cafeteria scene, you can see Buffy make a cameo? Just a fun little trivia fact. But seriously that cafeteria scene is fucked. Like, the pubes on the pizza? I wish no one had thought of that ever. Also can I just say I would undoubtedly rather get my ass kicked than be forced to eat pubes. I don’t know what they were thinking that isn’t even a question.
It’s also really uncomfortable how good frosted tips is at acting like he’s not a douchebag. What a creep. If that were a real guy I’d be tempted to call him a sociopath. So gross. But I suppose it’s good for the story line.
The end of the movie wraps up pretty fast honestly. Zack’s dad and him finally communicate which fixes Zack’s only problem immediately because that’s just how easy it is. He was just projecting the whole time, his dad had literally no problems other than being a typical rich dad. Then of course we get another moment with the school DJ who I guess just gets to play and say what ever he wants whenever he wants. Am I the only one who thinks it’s really inappropriate how sexual that guy’s announcements about prom are? Maybe it’s just me and I had a really different high school experience but I feel like people are way too focused on sex when they make movies about high school. Other shit was going on you know? It’s just odd for me to think about grown adults writing and pitching this movie.
Zack really is such a bitch boy though, he doesn’t even try to explain anything to her, just lets her get hurt and lets Taylor be a bitch to her without saying anything. He doesn’t even try to tell her that frosted tips was just as much a part of it as he was. Honestly I kind of wish that frosted tips wasn’t such an asshole his whole heart to heart with her at the door before prom could have been really cute if I didn’t already know he was a lying scumbag. But I guess Laney just gets the lesser of the douchebags.
We finally get to the prom, inarguably the best part of the whole movie, all the little bits and pieces. The sex doll guy is always funny as hell. The DJ being the school DJ works really well brings a lot of closure to that whole weirdness. Also that dance scene is fucking great, has absolutely nothing to do with the plot, which actually works since about 40% of the things in this movie have nothing to do with the plot of this movie. I absolutely unironically tried to learn this dance, man I fucking wish prom was actually like this. I don’t know about you guys but for me, both of my proms were not nearly this theatrical. I spent my first one playing black jack the whole time and my senior prom was full of people that were way too white to dance. Anyway, Laney doesn’t win and she leaves early. Zack gives a pretty boring speech. Taylor goes off on everyone. Frosted tips tries to get Laney in bed and everyone gets upset.
The whole thing ends with Laney coming home to find Zach waiting for her to make sure she’s okay, which is sweet and all but like I can’t help wondering how long he had just been standing there waiting. Especially since it seemed like her dad was just ignoring him. That’s just a funny image to me. Anyway, they dance in the backyard. They kiss. It’s cute. Zack loses the bet so he accepts his diploma naked which I’m pretty sure is indecent public exposure but sure.
Overall it’s a very cute movie. The clichés are sort of made up for by all the weird 90s movie things. Plus it has a pretty great soundtrack. I know I sort of really went in on this movie but to be honest I really enjoy watching it. I’m not sure why. It’s pretty bad when you think about it any deeper than surface level. But it’s also just really fun and the characters are weird and there’s too many duffel bags to be normal and it’s just funny. It’s really weirdly funny. And it has that same non-conclusion that a lot of teen rom-coms have where they just can’t really give you all that much and just make sure they’re happy even if you know there is no way they can continue a relationship outside of high school. It may sound like it, but I’m not mad at it. If you haven’t already I’d say watch it. Watch it as a relaxing mindless good time activity. At the very least you won’t be bored, but if you get sympathy embarrassment like I do then maybe skip a few parts.
As of right now this movie is not available for free on any streaming sites (yes I own it on DVD don’t @ me)
Final Verdict:
Actual movie review: 6/10
How fun is it to watch?: 8/10
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