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illicitlimerence-writes · 3 years

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close friends | t. holland

pairing: tom holland x fem!reader word count: 3.1k warnings: some language, some angst if u squint. otherwise it's just fluff and tom being tom. didn't proofread this. a/n: so tumblr decided to be a little bitch and deleted this t w i c e. so i had to write this t h r e e times. this came up in my head after i got like three notifications that tom posted something on his ig story, and then it turned out he deleted them. as always, english isn't my first language so i'm sorry if this gets confusing bye. also, i was listening to cardigan by taylor swift as i wrote this.

my masterlist

so we all know tom sucks at instagram. that's a surprise to literally no one. no matter how many times you tried to teach him he still doesn't get it, and it was only a matter of time before he finally posted something he shouldn't have.

it was just one of those days, you missed him like hell. he was away filming the third spiderman, and you had to stay behind because of work.

naturally, you relied on face time and texts to survive and fill the void he left behind. you loved talking to him, listening as he rambled on and on about his adventures on set. a love-struck look on your face as you tried your hardest to stay awake despite the urge to close your eyes.

eventually, sleep took over you, and you drifted off with the sound of his voice lulling you to sleep. he stopped talking abruptly when he didn't hear your soft chuckling in reply to the story he was telling.

instead, he saw your sleeping figure, long steady breaths moving your chest up and down. and he cursed himself for making you stay up so late for him. he took one last look at you, taking a screenshot of your sleeping form.

he quickly hung up the video call and opened instagram instead, uploading the screenshot to his story,

'missing my favorite girl, thank you so much for everything you do for me. x @yourusername'

the next morning you woke up to the sound of your phone buzzing. at first, thought someone had died as one notification after another filled your screen. most of them came from instagram, so you opened that app first.

thousands upon thousands of mentions, tags and new followers. you frowned, and suddenly a text from your friend popped up at the top of your screen.

'omg just saw his story. so happy for u both'

who's story? what was going on?

you refreshed your timeline, and tom's icon appeared, a colorful circle around it. an odd feeling sank in your stomach. you tapped his icon and suddenly your screen was full of... you.

a picture of you, sleeping. tom's smiling form in a small rectangle on the bottom right corner.

oh god. you read the words he wrote, over and over again. your heart pounding in your chest, and a sudden wave of fear ran through your body. but then you read his words once more, and all you could feel was love. pure, unconditional affection.

sure, your families and closest friends knew about you, but you hadn't talked about making your relationship public yet, but there was nothing you could do now.

you sighed, leaning back on your pillows. a small chuckle left your throat.

you grabbed your phone once again, quickly facetiming tom. you knew he had an early call today, and you hoped you could catch him while he was still in his hotel.

it ran once, twice, and then you saw him, hair all over the place, bare chest. hands rubbing sleep off of his face.

"mornin', darling." he said, his raspy morning voice making you smile.

"hi, baby. did i wake you?" you asked, sitting up and crossing your legs.

"yeah but it's fine, princess. i did keep you up last night so it's only fair."

"i'm sorry about falling asleep on you, that was a really nice picture you took last night," you lifted one eyebrow, and watched as he smiled at you sheepishly.

"i thought you looked really pretty, you always look pretty," he said, grabbing the water bottle on his nightstand and taking a swing.

"thanks, i hope the whole world thinks so, too," you declared. leaning your chin on your fist, watching him expectantly.

he did not react like you had expected him to.

his breath hitched as he sipped his water, and suddenly all you could see was the cream-colored ceiling, as you heard him spitting out and coughing.

"tom! oh, my god! are you okay?" you asked, getting on your knees and holding your phone up to your face, "tommy?" you repeated when he finally stopped coughing, you could now hear his heavy breaths.

at last, you saw his curls appear from the bottom of the screen.

"wh-what did you just say?" his voice was rough, his chest heaving.

"are you okay?" you asked again.

"ye-yeah i'm fine. babe, what did you mean by 'the whole world'? did something happen?" he asked, frowning. you echoed his expression, watching him for a second.

“you posted a picture to your story,” you repeated, and he nodded.

“yeah, i posted it to my close friends, i-” he stopped mid-sentence, eyes growing comically wide. “oh shit, did i-” he caught himself off as he threw the phone to one side, you heard him fumbling around for his laptop and you snorted. “shit, baby, don’t tell me i posted it… fuck!” you couldn’t keep it in any longer, you broke out laughing.

“of course this is how the world finds out about us!” you continued giggling until your stomach hurt.

“fuck, princess i’m so sorry, i didn’t mean to, i swear i- why are you laughing!?”

“tommy, tommy! it’s okay, baby, don’t worry. i’m not mad,” you stopped once you noticed his pouting. “it’s fine, my love, i don’t mind. sure it’s unexpected, and a little sudden but i wouldn’t have it any other way. i knew what i was getting into when we started dating,” you told him honestly, wishing you were there to give him a hug and kiss him all over.

“darling, i’m really, really sorry. i swear i thought i tapped the green button like you told me to” he continued his sulking, nervous eyes glancing back and forth from his laptop screen to you.

“i know, baby, i know this is not your forte, and i really appreciate the sweet gesture, honestly. i love you so much,” you told him as you bit your lip. folding your legs to your chest, wrapping one around them.

“god, i love you. i swear i’ll make it up to you,” he ran his hand through his hair, giving you a quick peek of his bare chest.

“i’ll hold you to it,” you chuckled, you glanced to the clock on your nightstand, sighing when you saw the time. “i’ve gotta go,” you said as you stood up and stretched. a wicked idea ran through you head. “i’ve got like five meetings today, so i’ll probably be busy most of the day. just in case i don’t reply or something,” you made up you lie quickly. grabbing your laptop and opening a new tab.

“oh, okay. i’ll be on set until like 1 am, so we’ll talk tomorrow?” he asked, eyes bright. you nodded, biting your lip.

“definitely. i love you,” you blew him a kiss. he smiled, and you felt your heart swelling.

“i love you, too. good luck today!” he said as you reluctantly hung up the call.

you immediately got to work, calling your assistant and telling her you were taking a few personal weeks, and to email you in case of emergencies. next, you texted harry, asking him to call you once tom was busy on set.

you waited for the page to load, and once you had bought your one-way ticket to atlanta you hurriedly threw some pre-planned outfits into two suitcases, just in case. your phone rang and harry’s face popped up on your screen. you quickly answered the call, and let him know of your out-of-the-blue plan. he agreed to meet you at the airport and drive you to set. and because of your recent and sudden rise to fame, he suggested you wear all black and a cap. you followed his advice, throwing on some sunglasses as well, as you had seen tom do many times before.

once you reached the airport and checked-in, you bought some coffee and breakfast, as well as some food for the flight. you opened instagram, seeing all the messages and comments. you had seen how the fans reacted when their favorite celebrities announced a relationship, and you knew to expect the meanest comments, and even death threats. for your own sake and peace of mind, you allowed yourself to scroll until you read three of those, and closed the app.

once the plane took off, you tried to catch some sleep, preparing for the inevitable jet lag, but your mind kept buzzing from one scenario to another. so you took out your book and tried to read some chapters, putting in your earbuds, music playing quietly.

when you finally, finally landed, you stretched your legs and grabbed your bags, putting on the cap and sunglasses again, you spotted a familiar head of wild curls. you quickly approached harry.

“what happened to all black and a cap to go unnoticed?” you asked as he took one of your bags in his hands.

“think about it, two kids wearing black, a cap and sunglasses? people would think we’re up to no good.” he gave you a tight hug, you’d missed him almost as much as you’d missed tom.

he caught you up on everything he and tom had been doing these past months, you shifted in your seat in excitement, the sleep that was slowly taking over you on the plane had now disappeared from your body.

in what was probably a 15 -but to you felt like five- minute drive, you got to the hotel to leave your bags and take a quick shower. harry left you alone in tom’s room, making his way to his own room next door. he said he’d order something for you to eat whilst you got ready to see tom.

you took the quickest shower ever known to humankind, and when you walked out of the bathroom after using tom’s shampoo and conditioner, -you’d missed his smell all over you. the few forgotten hoodies and shirts that were once drenched in the smell of his soap and cologne, were now very faint.- you wrapped a bathrobe around your body, rummaging through tom’s clothes until you found one of his shirts.

you pulled it close to your face, sighing at the familiar scent you’d missed so much. you got dressed quickly, grabbing your now fully-charged phone and the key to tom’s room that harry had left on a coffee table. you knocked on harry’s door and he let you in.

“i just texted tom, he says they’ve got like three hours left.” you sat next to him on the couch, the table in front of you filled with food waiting to be devoured.

“my poor baby, they overwork him,” you pouted, reaching for one of the plates.

“it was his idea, said he’ll do anything that helps finish filming sooner.” you stopped chewing your food.

“wait, really?” you asked in disbelief, you knew tom loved his job, and you found it odd that he wanted to cut his time on set short.

“yeah, it’s been rough for him. not having you around, i mean, after he spent months with you. he’s been pretty distracted lately. messing up lines, he’s been waking up late and missing early calls...” your heart sank at the words. you ate the rest of your food with a knot in your stomach, cursing yourself for not getting there sooner. soon enough, you were back in the car, your leg bouncing up and down. you fell asleep on your way to set, waking up when harry parked the car and nudged your shoulder.

you stepped out carefully, your head turning back every few steps you took, in fear that tom might catch you. once you reached the stage where tom was filming, you flashed the visitor badge harry had given you to the guard and he let you both in. you walked in as you leaned down, your forehead against harry’s back, shielding you from the curious stares. harry told you to hide behind a giant box where they kept some lights whilst he spoke to the director.

although the box was big and tall enough to cover you completely, you crouched down, straining your ears for nearing footsteps. you heard two sets of feet approaching, your heartbeat racing.

you were met with your accomplice, a friendly-looking man behind him. you stood up as they approached you.

“this the girl?” the man asked, and harry nodded, “nice to meetcha, i’m jon.” you shook his hand, “okay, so we’ve cleared tom’s schedule for one week, we’ll need him back fully recharged and ready to work like it’s his first day on set, you’re welcome to stay as long as you like, if it means he’ll work better if you’re here you can stay until we're done. i really don’t mind, i just need my guy back.” you blinked at his words, nodding slowly. “we’ve got a couple hours left tonight, i’m all up for some cheesy reunion, but it’ll have to be when we’re finished, i can barely keep him focused as it is.”

with that he left, and harry led you to tom’s trailer, where you caught some sleep while you waited. like that morning, you woke up to your phone buzzing. you reached for it, sleep leaving your body as you read the text.

‘just finished filming for the night, i’m exhausted. miss u, love you. x.’

all rational thoughts left your head, you opened the door to tom’s trailer and sprinted out of there until you reached the set. your eyes finally, finally met his figure, and tears filled your eyes.

your legs moved on their own accord, you mumbled apologies as you crashed into people, but you didn’t care. tom had his back to you, and even though he wasn’t wearing the spiderman costume, you’d recognize that ass anywhere.

“tom!” you called out, stopping a few feet away from him. you saw him whipping his head around, eyes scanning the sea of people. you made your way up to him, “tommy!” you repeated, and he finally turned around.

his mouth wide opened in disbelief, arms twitching, feet running towards you as you did the same. you crashed into each other, your legs wrapping around him, arms around his neck, fingers curling on his soft hair. his hands running all over your back, your hair. pulling you as close as humanly possible.

whispers of ‘i love you’, ‘god, i missed you’, ‘never leave me again’, and ‘i promise’ were exchanged. you tightened your hold on his hair, pulling back to look at him.

“hi,” you whispered, your nose brushing his.

“hey,” he replied, burying his face on your neck again, pressing small kisses anywhere he could reach. his hands settled on the back of your thighs as he spun you two. you giggled, sniffling as a few tears escaped your eyes.

you could not care less about the people around you, all you could think about was the boy wrapped all over you, your favorite boy. tom led you back to his trailer, where you finally untangled yourself from him. he settled you down and you immediately wrapped your arms around his waist, pulling him close to you again.

you had been starved of his touch for so long, there was no way you were letting him go anytime soon.

after many kisses, touches, tears, promises and more kisses, you left for the hotel. harry had already left, getting a ride from another cast member to leave you two alone. at that moment you swore you’d make him godfather of your firstborn child.

as you waited for tom to step out of the shower -you would’ve joined him, but three showers in a day seemed kind of excessive-, you laid down on the bed, throwing the covers over your body, tom's scent engulfing you. you breathed in happily. you tapped on your phone, replying to some work emails when you received a text from harry.

‘i believe the ball is in your court. you’re welcome.’

next, you received a picture of you and tom. harry must’ve taken the picture when you and tom were too lost in each other to even notice anyone around you. in the picture, your legs are around tom, bodies pressed closed together, your noses touching as you stare lovingly into each other’s eyes. it was a beautiful picture. and the black and white filter harry had applied to it made it seem like one of those old pictures of wives reuniting with their spouses after the war.

you smiled, heart swelling with emotion as you contemplated your options. you hummed quietly, tapping the instagram logo and waiting for the app to load.

you quickly uploaded the picture harry sent you tagging both him and tom and adding a quick caption before you shut down your phone. you were drifting off to sleep when you felt familiar arms around you.

you leaned into tom’s touch, your back resting against his chest, legs tangling with his as he interlocked his fingers with your own.

“thank you so much for being here, my love. i love you,” tom whispered into your ear, pressing a kiss to your cheek.

“i’ll be here whenever you need me. i’ll always come back to you.” you turned around, facing him. you kissed the corner of his lips, and he cupped your cheek, his lips meeting yours in a slow kiss, filled with emotion. your fingers played with his fingers as you moved to straddle his waist. “i love you,” you broke the kiss reluctantly. as much as you both wanted to make love that night, you’d made it your top priority that tom took his time off to rest as much as he could, and that included that first night.

you gave him one last kiss, going back to your previous position. the familiar and comfortable weight of his arms around you, the feeling of his lips on your neck, his chest rising and falling against your back, you couldn’t ask for anything better.

the peaceful environment you had created suddenly burst like a bubble as tom’s phone pinged over and over again. you heard him grunting, arms reluctantly leaving you.

tom chuckled, putting his phone on do-not-disturb and throwing it somewhere on the bed.

“you’re perfect for me, my favorite girl.” you smiled, leaning into his touch as he kissed you all over. sleep quickly taking over both of you.

tom swore his heart stopped when he’d seen the picture you posted. you’d never looked more beautiful than when you were staring up at him, your bottom lip between your teeth. the words you wrote as a caption were the last thing on his brain as he finally succumbed to sleep.

‘i said, “i bet you can’t keep this a secret for five months.” he said, “darling, i won’t make it past three.” @ tomholland2013 it’s been 10 months, who won?’

edit: i just saw henry cavill's ig post and omg what is my life. pls respect celebrities' privacy and relationships.

#tom holland #tom holland imagine #tom holland fluff #tom holland smut #tom holland x reader #tom holland x you #tom holland x y/n #peter parker #peter parker imagine #peter parker fluff #peter parker smut #peter parker fic #peter parker fanfic #tom holland fic #tom holland fanfic #marvel #mcu #avengers imagine

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opbackgrounds · 4 years

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so I was doing some research after watching movie 6...

...and apparently it was originally written as a comedy

Yeah, I was surprised, too

Baron Omatsuri is not my favorite One Piece movie—Film Z has too many of my favorite tropes to be usurped from that position—but I do think it is the most daring. Of all the supplemental material I’ve seen and read, it feels the least...One Piece-ish.

Yes, that includes the noodle commercials.

If you haven’t seen the movie and can stomach a little spookiness, do yourself a favor and give it a watch. Unlike movies like Strong World or Z that have the look and feel of a manga arc, Movie 6 transplants the Straw Hat Pirates into a world that doesn’t feel like a One Piece story, taking risks and exploring themes that would never fit in the manga proper.

In addition to the obvious changes in art and animation style, there are supernatural elements that don’t make sense within the One Piece world. None of the Straw Hats win a fight—Luffy included, although he is heavily implied to have killed the big bad at the end. The moral of the movie, if it can be said to have a moral, is if you lose the people closest to you, the answer is to forget about them and make new friends. The story ends with many questions left unanswered and the main drama between the crew unresolved.

And, if you allow me to get philosophical for a moment, I wish there were more movies like it. As I wrote in my review of Novel A, I don’t go to supplemental material or side stories looking for a repeat of what’s in the manga. Oda has written 1000 chapters of One Piece—why not spice things up a little and try something different for a change?

I know the answer isn’t that simple, and by their very nature not all risks will pan out. There will be people who don’t like this movie because it’s different, both in look and tone. But there’s something to be said about a creator putting their heart and soul into a work and having it show in the final product.

Which brings us back to the original premise. How does a movie go from a light-hearted comedy based on a variety show theme to...this

Baron Omatsuri was directed by Mamoru Hosoda and came out in 2005. To put that into perspective, the movie was in production when the Luffy vs Usopp fight was first seen in the manga. Manga!Luffy had not yet faced the challenge of an inter-crew disputes when the story was being written and boarded, nor did the creative team have the events of Sabaody and Marineford to see how Luffy would react to the loss of his loved ones. They were working without a full understanding of Luffy’s character, and to a lessor extent the character of the Straw Hat Pirates, and it seems like Oda was much less involved In production than has been in movies since Strong World and beyond.

Likewise, Hosoda had just left a tumultuous situation at Studio Ghibli while working on Howl’s Moving Castle, and if this interview is anything to go by (https://instrangeaeonsblog.wordpress.com/2016/04/24/mamoru-hosoda-on-omatsuri-danshaku-animestyle-interview-part-1/) was going through a lot of personal shit when he was brought on as director. The script he was given was originally written like a variety show—something that was carried over into the various trials seen in the final movie—and meant to be a lighthearted affair after the relatively serious Movie 5 (which I have not seen am thus unable to compare tone).

With that backstory in mind, it’s easy to see how the bickering and backbiting between the Straw Hats early in the movie is a metaphor for Hosoda’s time at Ghibli, which is something he admits to in the interview. Movie 6 feels different than any other One Piece movie because it’s the project of a man who has had to endure the loss of those who he was close with, at least in a professional capacity.

There are moments in Movie 6 where Luffy doesn’t feel like Luffy. More than once a member of the Straw Hats ask him to intervene during arguments, moments Luffy either ignores or doesn’t notice. It’s a version of Water 7 where instead of fighting Usopp, Luffy ignores the underlying differences within his crew, and as a result loses everybody.

The structure of the three trials follows a clear path of deterioration within the crew, the initial goldfish scooping game showing the Straw Hats at their best and inciting the jealousy of the Baron, the ring toss sowing discord among the crew even as they snatch a narrow victory, only for them to be utterly crushed in the third and final challenge as they’re unable help one another survive.

It is somewhat implied that the Breaking of the Fellowship(TM) is magical in nature—that like the One Ring, the Lily Carnation was able to influence the Straw Hat’s thoughts and actions, but this is never stated outright and I prefer the more mundane interpretation: That without strong leadership the Straw Hats fell victim to the manipulative machinations of the Baron, and simply self-destructed as a result. In the end, it’s up to the interpretation of the viewer.

And speaking of things up to interpretation, I love how the Lily Carnation isn’t explained in the slightest. The plant that initially absorbs the Straw Hats looks more like the stem of a devil fruit than a flower, it for some reason rings like a gong when hit, and somehow is able to turn pieces of itself into facsimile of the Baron’s old crew who can somehow move around despite being plans. It’s weird, it’s wonderful, and the element of the unknown works so well in the horror-lite setting.

My personal theory is the island somehow managed to eat a devil fruit which manifests itself as the Lily Carnation (which due to the L/R conflation in Japanese, is pronounced ‘reincarnation’, which I think is a nice touch of foreshadowing that may or may not have been intentional).

(Also, I can’t decide if little chewing animation it makes when it’s eating people or the weird bullseyes it makes when shit gets real are the most terrifying thing in the movie.)

Hmmm, tasty.

Anyway, this is getting long, so here are some final thoughts:

1) This movie has some low key fantastic outfits. The Straw Hats all look very cool without being over designed like a lot of recent movies. Big hat Robin is of course a fave, and makes me really want to see her in a Carmen Sandiego getup.

2) Screenshots do not do the animation of the movie justice. It’s very fluid and has a lot of excellent expressions/poses, although I admit the 3D is jarring at times. Do not let the art put you off if you haven’t seen it

3) Also, I don’t think there’s any shading? Like at all? The movie does a lot of cool stuff with color instead. For example, the scene where Luffy initially loses to the Baron his skin goes all grey, and I thought it was because he was fighting at night, but it stays grey even in the better lighting of the underground tunnels and stays that way until he finds out the Straw Hats are still alive, where it returns to his normal color

4) There’s an extended Benny Hill-type gag when Luffy first chases after the little mustache pirate that’s perfectly timed to the music, and ends when Luffy just uses his power to grab him. The comedic timing is amazing and it’s probably my favorite funny moment in the movie, of which there are several despite the overall darker tone

5) The extended jungle shot from Nami’s POV? Very cool

6) I love how from the earliest scenes nothing is as it seems. The opening text is Robin reading the map, but the storm that’s seen on screen is the one that sank the Baron’s crew. Likewise the whole fancy city is shown to be fake panels early on, the goldfish catching game is a trap, etc., etc. It does a good job clueing the viewer in early that’s something’s very wrong on the island, even if they don’t realize it at first

7) I don’t think this type of movie would work in modern One Piece without somehow nerfing Luffy. Horror works best when the protagonist is weak and vulnerable, and that fits best with a pre-Gear 2/3 Luffy (same with the rest of the crew, tbh. I was waiting for Nami to use her lightning stick during the games, forgetting it hadn’t been boosted yet).

8) I like how there are four captains on the island representing different levels of loss—the Baron has lost his crew and wants to destroy all others because of it, mustache pirate lost his crew and is willing to put it behind him to make new friends, Luffy has freshly lost his crew and hasn’t decided what path he will go, and coward dad hasn’t lost his crew yet but is at risk if he doesn’t change his cowardly ways

9) I think the reason why Chopper was the first Straw Hat to disappear is he’s the most likely to play the part of peacemaker. He’s also the only crew member needing rescuing at the end of the goldfish scoop game, when Luffy foolishly puts his life at risk trying to save him from drowning, just like he recklessly charges the Baron at the end of the movie. Except that time there was no Sanji to save him, leaving Luffy to get his ass thoroughly kicked

10) This is a very good Halloween movie, and I’m glad I watched it in October

#opbackgrounds #long post #movie 6 #review #one piece #Baron Omatsuri

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a-crimson-lion · 4 years

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A Look At Bakudeku’s Development (Based On That One Instagram Post): A Photo-Narrative Analysis

Word Count: 4,287 (Yikes…)

[This got long. Like, REALLY long. Don't expect too many colors. There's a lot to get through...]

For those out of the loop, I recently came across this Instagram post during unhealthy hours in the morning. The purpose of this post, I’d assume, was to debunk any negativity aimed at the Bakudeku dynamic/ship, claiming it was indeed not abusive and that the antis in question are ignoring canon in favor of playing Bakugo’s suicide instigation on repeat. Before addressing the post in question, I would like to state two things:

I am not stuck on Chapter/Episode 1 in the series. I have been caught up proper with every story arc up to the JT Training Arc and am roughly familiar with everything past that point. I don’t just take Katsuki’s now essentially forgotten suicide instigation into account; I’m taking every part of his actions well beyond that moment and how they reflect on him, internally justified or otherwise.

While I’m among the people who believe that Bakudeku as of the latest incarnation of the manga (up to Ch. 280) is indeed abusive, I am open to discussions on why it is not. In any case, however, I cannot ignore the fact that the dynamic/ship is incredibly problematic besides the skeletons in both Izuku and Katsuki’s closets.

So, in order to address this issue to the best of my half-awake brain’s abilities, I will review the screenshots within said post and break down how they factor into the Bakudeku dynamic and the overall development. Be aware that there are some manga and movie spoilers, and this is just MY OPINION. I could be wrong, and I’m okay with that. If you wanna talk without patronizing me, the comments are open. I also apologize in advance if I myself come of as patronizing. All the screenshots I’ll be discussing can be found in the video link above (or here).

Well then, no point in beating around the bush...

1) Izuku Taking Katsuki Out Of The Final Exam Gate (Anime Screenshot)

The first piece of “evidence” used to show the merit of Bakudeku comes from the Final Exam arc, shortly after Katsuki succumbs to All Might’s assault, only for Izuku to come in and deck the #1 Hero in order to grab Katsuki and carry him to safety, allowing them both to pass.

However, this photo marks a recurring trend throughout some of the other photos: they speak more about IZUKU as a character than Izuku AND Katsuki.

Izuku getting to save Katsuki is a major development… for Izuku. One that we’ve seen before. Think about it. The first time Izuku saves Katsuki towards the beginning of the exam, he has to punch Katsuki in the face because he was considering throwing the match just for working with Izuku. And after he’s been saved, Katsuki blows up (figuratively and literally) before aggressively kabedoning him. In this scene though? Katsuki got knocked the f*** out, so he really has no room to protest if Izuku comes in to save him a second time.

Plus, this isn’t really anything NEW with Izuku. We know that he’s aware in an abstract sense that what Katsuki did to him was “wrong,” but he doesn’t hold a grudge or any animosity to him towards that. He’s one of Katsuki’s biggest defenders and supporters, assuming Katsuki allows it. So really, him saving Katsuki isn’t really surprising or a major step forward, ‘cause he was always willing to do it from the get go. And again, Katsuki isn’t conscious during his second rescue, so we don’t really know if he would have let Izuku save him again or if he would have protested.

There’s nothing new here, and nothing balanced to the overall dynamic. Just Izuku being Izuku.

2) All Might Acknowledges The New Bakudeku Rivalry (Anime Screenshot)

Deku vs Kacchan 2 was a big moment for the Bakudeku dynamic. I’m not saying it’s a positive moment, nor am I saying it was necessary, but it was big. And in the aftermath of that fight, where Izuku and Katsuki are having a back and forth, All Might thinks to himself that the two have become true rivals now, or something along those lines. And it’s nice that he’s willing to spell this out for the audience and all, but uh…

Stop me if you’ve heard this one before: show, don’t tell.

All Might is essentially telling us that Izuku and Katsuki are rivals now. What does the story have to show for it? A brief conversation during their house arrest, followed by a massive stall due to the Shie Hassaikai Arc and Cultural Festival Arc (albeit with one more instance we’ll cover later), and then what essentially equates to Katsuki yelling at Izuku a lot during the Joint Training Arc.

...that’s ...not much.

And yeah, you could expect me to be a good bean to the author and wait until the later arcs, but even then, the execution… just falls kinda flat, at least for me. Going back to that particular moment with All Might’s thought process, it kind of reminds me of Eraserhead essentially acting as a mouthpiece for the Ochako vs Katsuki fight during the Sports Festival, but that’s a can of worms I won’t be indulging today.

What I’m getting at is this: All Might letting the audience know that Bakudeku have reached rival status is great! Now if only the series could deliver more on that...

3) Standing With Two One For Alls (Heroes Rising)

Okay, seriously, if you haven’t seen Heroes Rising yet, I implore you, GO. WATCH IT. It is an incredible film and I would recommend it with warm words. And I’ll admit, it gives us a better incarnation of Bakudeku compared to the rest of the series.

Yes, I said “better,” not “great.”

Look, I’m all for Izuku and Katsuki working past their differences and the clusterf*** that was their childhood, and maybe Horikoshi not being as integrally involved with the film’s writing as people think he is has something to do with it, but uh… you do not say “put myself as low as to working with Deku” or something like that and expect to be casually tossed aside, at least if you’re me. And while I’m glad there was some genuine emotional tension as Izuku gave Katsuki OFA, some part about it feels… off. Like, nothing was really truly resolved. Katsuki wasn’t given OFA as a sign of forgiveness, as an acknowledgement. Katsuki was given OFA because there was an AFO level villain about to wreck the place and kill some peeps and oh look, the narrative made it so that Katsuki was the only convenient holder around! It kinda stings when you look at it that way.

Not that it matters, because a big thing most people forget is that at the end of this movie, THE ENTIRE THING IS ESSENTIALLY SWIPED ACROSS THE DESK AND ON THE FLOOR. Even if it was going to have some level of effort towards the development of the dynamic, that effort is essentially GONE because Katsuki doesn’t remember SQUAT, and what happens to OFA after the fight is NEVER DISCUSSED. It’s just a hard reset, BOOM, back to normal. *Sigh*

Really, the whole double OFA thing was for convenience, less so for any emotional leveling up that could have been done. And even then, Izuku is still somehow the one putting more emotional input into the entire thing than Katsuki.

4) “I Thought You Were Gonna Get Ahead Of Me!” (Anime Screenshot)

Katsuki’s methods of motivation are… admittedly not for everyone. They seem to work fine for Izuku, as seen sometime after the Cultural Festival Arc, but again, that’s just Izuku. We know how he takes Katsuki’s words and turns it into motivation, but why does Katsuki bother at all?

Well, maybe this comes with desperately trying to find reasons to like a character but progressively despising him and his narrative placement more and more as time progresses, but here’s my angle on it: Katsuki just doesn’t want Izuku dragging his weight for nothing.

Keep in mind, we’re talking about the same Katsuki who held a grudge against Shoto for holding back during the Sports Festival. The same Katsuki who wanted the #1 Hero to go all out and would continuously press to fight him. The same Katsuki who wanted to fight a deadly villain even after being instructed to get back to camp for his own safety. The same Katsuki who challenged Izuku to a fight to finally determine where the gap was, and who was frustrated when he won because the power Izuku possessed was All Might’s, so clearly he shouldn’t have lost.

In short, Katsuki doesn’t like it when people don’t give it their all. And I believe it’s been stated once or twice that once Izuku makes One For All his own, there’s a good chance they’re gonna fight again. So it’s in Katsuki’s best interest to make sure Izuku isn’t half-assing anything, because he wants to prove he can beat Izuku at his best, thus proving that KATSUKI is the best.

So it’s less so for Izuku’s benefit as it is for Katsuki’s own.

5) One Giant Leap (Heroes Rising)

Arguably one of the best moments of the entire Heroes Rising film amongst the fandom is the big handhold scene between Katsuki and Izuku as they make a last gambit effort to take down Nine with two One for Alls. Admittedly this is one of the best if not the best moment throughout the entire progression of the Bakudeku dynamic thus far. I’ll give it that much.

...which makes it all the more frustrating because again: MIND. WIPE. The audience knows it happened, but in canon we never know if Izuku discusses it with Katsuki or if anyone else was aware of the moment in greater specificity. IT ESSENTIALLY NEVER HAPPENED, and I’m starting to legitimately wonder whether or not it was for the best...

6) Datte Atashi No Hero (Anime Screenshot)

First off: how? Second off: huh?

Believe me, the second ending of Season 3 is an absolute bop, don’t get me wrong, but uh… again, it provides NOTHING balanced for Bakudeku, once again relying on Izuku’s perspective on the entire matter. I once read an interesting meta about this ending and how it could be interpreted (take this with a grain of salt), but the biggest contender is that this is in fact Izuku’s fantasy. Think about it:

Izuku is a humble traveling warrior, with nothing to distinguish himself in his own opinion.

Ochako is a magician because she’s alien to Izuku, an unheard of phenomenon.

Tenya being a knight, Shoto being a prince, and Momo being a warrior princess all correlates to their high standings in society, heroic or otherwise.

The reason Katsuki is a barbarian king is because he’s familiar to Izuku in an ancient sense; he’s known him for a long time. The list goes on, but you get the jist.

With this in mind, it’s not difficult to understand that even Katsuki willing to work with Izuku would be another aspect of Izuku’s fantasy: to be able to stand beside his childhood friend once more. And remember the ending of that scene, when Izuku does that big sword slash? That’s him having fully mastered OFA. Both are things that could happen given the manga’s recent direction, but still have yet to happen because this is, again, a fantasy.

And apparently Datte Atatshi No Hero is a reflection on Izuku’s feelings towards Katsuki. Take that as you will, but again, this does not speak for Bakudeku as a whole. Just Izuku’s feelings on the matter.

7) Win to Save, Save to Win (Manga Screenshot)

Since I’ve already penned myself into a short story at this point, might as well take the time to look at this famous phrase from the story.

Personally, I consider it bulls***. It harms both characters overall; yes, I said both. It excuses Katsuki’s need to be a blunt powerhouse that only targets villains, and it redundantly demands Izuku do more of what he was already doing, albeit with less sympathy. I know it sounds corny to say saving is more important than winning, but in the heat of the moment, what gets to the civilians in danger more often? Seeing a guy in a cape deck the latest disaster right in front of them or from a distance? Or said cape guy risking life and limb making sure that this person gets to see life another day?

There’s no perfect answer to it, but that’s my stance.

And this quote, “Win to save, save to win,” justifies the one thing that keeps Katsuki from truly outgrowing his past: his need to be the best. If winning is on the same level then saving, and Izuku has an innate capacity to save, then that means it’s okay for Katsuki to have to win all the time, right?

No. It’s not. And that’s not speaking for all the “Gary Stu” crap, either.

Because being pressured into being the best is what caused Katsuki to hate any kindness offered to him by Izuku. The desire to be the best had him bully Izuku for a decade to ensure that Izuku remained the loser and Katsuki remained the winner. That desire characterizes arguably the worst aspects of Katsuki’s character, and those aspects aren’t gonna fly in the Pro Hero world. Because if Nana Shimura, Shota Aizawa, the Pussycats, Mirio, Sir Nighteye, and a handful of other incidents have taught us anything, it’s that even at their best efforts, heroes don’t win all the time.

Katsuki needs to learn this, or it will crush him in the long term. But he hasn’t. The narrative has kept letting him rack up wins, and his current actions in the manga were spurred on by the fact that he still has yet to truly take a loss.

Say what you will, but I don’t like this line. For what it says about Izuku or Katsuki.

8) The Only One Who Can Accept His Feelings… (Anime Screenshot)

Me @ #7: Wanna see me go off?

Me @ #8: Wanna see me do it again?

Izuku’s perspective on the entire Bakudeku situation is a major reason why most fans condone it. “Izuku doesn’t appear obviously bothered by Katsuki, so that clearly means it’s not abusive/problematic, so just shut up!” or something like that. Well, I’m no psychologist, so I won’t go into a spiel about people ignoring their pain for the sake of others or people trying to excuse others in order to place fault on themselves whether or not it be accurate.

Really, all I can say is that NONE OF THIS should be Izuku’s responsibility.

I’m not blaming this on Izuku because he hasn’t had actual friends or a healthy support system in a long while, but the fact that he decides to take on and enable Katsuki in his element just… doesn’t sit well with me. The logical conclusion would be talking, not throwing hands. I don’t care if they’re “distressed teenagers,” neither of them should be doing this, and Katsuki was fully aware that the teachers would stop them in the first place; that’s not simply adults meddling in what isn’t their business. Katsuki should have really figured out by now that maybe the best course of action is to actually vent to someone without blowing their face off, and I get that he’s absolute s*** at feelings, but really, that’s more of a red flag that he needs to actually get help. And if you think a little too hard on Izuku’s feelings of the matter, well…

Imagine being ostracized for so long that you lose all sense of self worth.

Imagine being told time and again that your worthless, which checks out for you because clearly if your worthless, the guy that enabled that mindset is obviously better than you, and he’s entitled to use you for his own ends.

That’s what I get from this scene.

And again, this is all from IZUKU at this point; virtually NOTHING from Katsuki.

9) Double Detroit Smash (Heroes Rising)

I’ve already said my piece about the film. At this point, it’s beating a dead horse with a stick. Moving on.

10) Word of God (Miscellaneous)

Here’s the thing about Word of God in fandom: the general consensus is that it’s nice to get confirmation from a credible source, but unless it is portrayed in canon, it’s just more words which may or may not be true.

In this case, Kohei Horikoshi, the mangaka for BNHA, is saying that eventually, Katsuki will have to apologize to Izuku. Eventually.

As in, it still hasn’t happened yet.

As in, Katsuki still has yet to decide that what he did in the past was wrong and he should try to fix it.

As in, it currently shows no bearing towards Katsuki’s current character nor the overall Bakudeku dynamic.

Sure, it MIGHT happen, but in another interview (or mayhaps it’s the same one), Horikoshi stated that Katsuki originally wasn’t intended to get as much screen time as he did. Both of these situations are different of course, but with the recent turbulence of the War Arc shaking up the manga, is it really so hard to believe that an apology might slip away from Katsuki’s thought process?

On the bright side, an apology could happen. But until it’s canon, then it’s only a possibility, and therefore can’t be used fully for the intended argument.

11) X-Catapult Handhold (Heroes Rising)

I bet some people working on the movie and some fans on the movie felt spoiled when they included not one, but two handholding scenes for Izuku and Katsuki.

And while the first handhold is certainly a marvel of battle tactics, again, there isn’t much else going on with it. Is it nice to see Katsuki working with Izuku again? Yes, but contrary to popular belief, it doesn’t go past that. Katsuki’s just willing to work with Izuku, full stop. He’d probably be willing to work with anyone because Nine is f***ing tank. And sure, getting a handhold tease is nice, but it’s only to facilitate Katsuki’s subsequent yeeting of Izuku at Nine in an attempt to do damage. Nothing more pressing about the circumstances of their past or anything like that.

12) A Bit of Advice (Anime Screenshot)

Look, this is one of the tamer, better looks at Izuku and Katsuki’s relationship. He’s willing to put his pride aside and give Izuku some advice. But remember what I said earlier in #4?

It’s not just to make sure Izuku gets better, but so Katsuki can feel like it’s a complete win when he beats his ass.

And if we take the line “It pisses me off” into account, we can look at that flaw from the same angle. Remember, Izuku has All Might’s power, the #1 Hero’s power. To Katsuki, that means he shouldn’t have the luxury of making mistakes. But Izuku does. He makes mistakes, and Katsuki sees them and he doesn’t get to exploit them. He still wins, but not because of those mistakes. And part of that pisses Katsuki off. Izuku shouldn’t get to slack. So, Katsuki gives him some advice. Advice that will no doubt help Izuku in the long run, for his (and Katuki’s) sakes. It’s a good outcome from a not very good reason...

13) Have You Made That Borrowed Power Your Own? (Manga Screenshot)

Yeah, no.

I don’t care if Izuku is used to this treatment, it still isn’t reinforcing an overall positive tone.

I don’t care if Katsuki acknowledges at some level that Izuku’s power is becoming his own, he still has the gall to say it was no wonder he passed BECAUSE of his power. Which may be true, but it’s not like Izuku was relying on it 100%, and lowkey comes off as Quirkist.

All it tells me is that Katsuki is starting to acknowledge Izuku, in the “gadfly I can’t get off my back” sort of way. Is this the “best development” y’all are rooting for? Basic acknowledgement of another human being?

14) Outta My Way Punk! (Manga Screenshot)

Katsuki reflexively tells Izuku to get out of his way.

Izuku is used to it, again, that does not excuse it.

Once again, Katsuki reverts back to his usual behavior instead of showing a more subtle approach to show the audience that maybe he’s changing beyond what a chorus of other characters saying “he’s changed!” has to offer.

...even if it’s not abusive, you can’t really say that’s a “good” relationship, either.

15) Blackwhip Training (Manga Screenshot)

Katsuki willing to train with Izuku to help him master his Quirk(s) is nice.

Still blatantly in his element with lots of needless yelling and dominance assertion, but still nice.

And keep in mind, right after it’s clear they aren’t getting anywhere and Izuku tries to rationalize it, Katsuki decides to dip seeing as it’s not worth his time anymore. And even before that, at least in my translation, Katsuki seems to be more interested in beating out Blackwhip instead of having Izuku get a handle on.

Again, maybe not abusive, but not exactly supportive, either.

16) ??? (Anime Screenshot)

I personally have no idea what they were going for with this screenshot, but if I had to guess, that’s after Katsuki gives Izuku an escape window whilst he faces off against All Might alone during their Final Exams.

While I understand that this is early on in their dynamic’s development, the fact still stands that Katsuki still wants to fight for fighting’s sake. He may have been willing to at least give Izuku a chance, but he still sees Izuku’s retreat as cowardly, even though it’s a perfectly valid way to pass the exam. He still just wants to fight.

There’s no mutuality in that sense.

17) Quote from Justin Briner (Miscellaneous)

I don’t have much of an opinion for Izuku’s English VA, but for what it’s worth, I think overall he’s a really cool dude. The same, however, cannot be said for his quote.

I can buy into Izuku wanting to get stronger because of Katsuki, since that is a major plot point. I can’t do the same for Katsuki seeing the good in people because we don’t ever see it, really? In fact, it’s more like people latch on to Katsuki and he just tolerates them until they’ve completely wormed their way into his life. There’s no scene where Katsuki considers someone a good person because of something Izuku did, or anything even vaguely along those lines, at least to my knowledge.

As for their relationship, there have been more downs than ups, and it isn’t relatable to me in the slightest. Maybe that’s just ‘cause I don’t get the overall appeal, but their friendship never really strikes me as a… well, friendship. You could argue that’s the point and that’s what makes them different and interesting, but I would much rather we see more concrete proof of their relationship being at more understandable highs and lows while actually demonstrating it was mutual.

But again. That’s just me.

18) Joint Training Pep Talk (Manga Screenshot)

I’m basically repeating myself at this point. Katsuki might be keeping tabs on Izuku, but again, it’s not entirely for Izuku’s benefit. He just wants to make sure his new “rival” (successor to the #1 Hero, I might add) isn’t dragging his feet through the mud and actually getting s*** done so their eventual third clash will actually be worth his time.

...this relationship is so one-sided in two entirely different ways, I swear.

19) Speaking With Kacchan So Naturally (Manga Screenshot)

Why are we congratulating Katsuki for adding one more person to his already (surprisingly) sizable tolerance pile?

Why are we congratulating Izuku for bridging a gap other people managed to cross with little to no effort even though he didn’t do anything wrong?

Izuku is essentially saying “Good job on me for finally getting the same treatment as everyone else from that one person after over ten years.” Good on him, but uh… that’s not exactly a landmark worth framing the way the fandom does...

The relationship might not be outright abusive, but HOO BOY the bar has never been set lower...

20) “You’ve got a good friend in him” (Manga Screenshot)

And finally, the pièce de résistance. Which is really more narrative mouthpiece-ing.

Even before that, Katsuki yet again can’t take a compliment from Izuku for whatever reason. Yet again, Izuku just shrugs off all of Katsuki’s discouragement, intentional or otherwise. And I love me some Dadmight as much as the next guy, but really, does he have a good grasp on relationships? His only friends in his life were David and Naomasa, and he’s been shown time and time again to not be the infallible man many think he is due to being the Symbol of Peace? But suddenly he goes “Bakudeku rights” and y’all jump on that with no room for argument?

Katsuki has yet to prove what All Might has been saying. Again, telling rather than showing, therefore removing the meaning from the entire thing. Unless Katsuki proves otherwise, I call bulls***.

-------------------------------------------------------

So, my final verdict? Bakudeku is fine. It’s just not as great as the rest of you are making it out to be. I’m not gonna dictate whatever you ship or what you enjoy, that’s not my place, but at least keep these perspectives in mind. You don’t have to believe them, but just… stay aware, y’know?

Alrighty, I’ve wasted enough of your time. If you’ve read it until the very end, then… thanks. Carry on.

-Crimson Lion (10 August 2020)

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let-the-dream-begin · 4 years

Text

In My Daughter’s Eyes Chapter 2: Know No Fear

Chapter 1

Read on AO3

Before I get to the chapter here, I just wanted to say that I am so beyond touched by the response this story has received. It’s difficult to respond to various comments on Tumblr due to the nature of side-blogs, but just know that I read every single lovely thing you all had to say, and it touched my heart. This is personal to me, and to know that you are all touched by it means the world. So thank you, and onward we go!

By the time Claire found all the bedding and made the beds, she was practically faint with hunger. The fact that they’d left England at eleven in the morning and arrived here at two in the afternoon had made her forget that it had, in reality, been almost five hours since they’d been served food on the plane; and that had been no real meal. Claire had also managed to unpack some of Faith’s toys and arrange them lovingly on her bed before she decided to look up somewhere to get food. She’d heard quite a fuss over the pizza on Long Island; it was apparently the only place in the entire world that had “real” pizza. She would like to be the judge of that, eventually. There were so many different Italian places it was making her head swim. She decided to let Faith decide what they would eat since Claire couldn’t seem to make up her mind.

Claire knelt on the floor in front of the couch, which was haphazardly placed in the middle of the room at a very inconvenient diagonal. Bloody movers. Faith was humming in contentment, rocking back and forth.

“Faith?” Claire tapped her knee, but she did not look up from the tablet. “Faith.” Claire gently removed the headphones, causing her to groan in protest. “Faith! Listen to Mummy before you get upset.” Faith grabbed the headphones again, but Claire firmly kept her hands on her wrists. “Are you hungry, baby? Do you want food?”

Faith’s tune immediately changed, relenting her grip on the headphones and nodding enthusiastically, humming increasing in pitch and volume.

Claire smiled, chuckling. “I thought so. Here.” She held up the screenshots of menu samplings that she’d collected. “Do you want pizza? Or…” She swiped to the next image. “Spaghetti? Or Chinese food? Or a hamburger?”

Claire allowed Faith to take her phone into her little hands, watching in amusement as Faith scrolled between the four images, eventually handing the phone back to her mother.

“Spaghetti?”

Her humming heightened again, her hands and fingers twitching and twisting with excitement; stimming, the doctors called it. To Claire, it was just Faith being Faith.

“Ask and ye shall receive, little girl.”

Claire sat back on her heels and searched for the restaurant she’d gotten the spaghetti screenshot from. Christ, there were about forty restaurants called “Uncle Joe’s” in a four mile radius. She eventually settled on the closest one that was on DoorDash and ordered spaghetti and meatballs for Faith, her standard when it came to Italian food, and decided on penne alla vodka for herself. Gillian had insisted the Italian food here was better than in England, so she was quite excited to see for herself.

When the order was placed, she looked up at Faith, expecting her to be engrossed in the tablet again, but she was instead staring at her mother quite intently. She slapped a little hand over Claire’s screen and gave a little grunt.

Claire smiled knowingly. “Spaghetti won’t be here for another thirty minutes, darling. You have to be patient.”

She grunted in defiance, slapping the screen again.

“Hey. Be gentle.” Claire grabbed Faith’s wrist and looked her firmly in the eye. “Do not hit.” Claire unconsciously ran her tongue over the cut on her lip she’d been gifted with this morning.

Claire suddenly had a perfect idea to pass the time; that dance party she’d thought about a few hours ago. Claire smiled to herself and clicked onto Spotify, hitting shuffle on the Disney playlist. Faith’s stubborn demeanor immediately changed when the opening notes of “Under the Sea” began to play. Her face melted into that absent half-smile that Claire had grown accustomed to, and she began swaying back and forth on the couch.

Claire giggled and took Faith’s hands, pushing them back and forth, side-to-side in time with the music. Her grin widened, and she began humming with excitement again. It wasn’t long before the tablet and the headphones were forgotten on the couch, and the two of them were jumping and dancing around the living room, haphazardly avoiding the piles of boxes. Claire couldn’t explain it: Faith’s Disney obsession. She became a different kid when she watched a Disney movie, or listened to the music. Her entire countenance changed. If Claire could throw away every responsibility and every pound she owned to take up permanent residence in Disney World, just so that her daughter would always be this happy and carefree, she would do it in a heartbeat.

In the middle of Claire’s intense performance of “I’ll Make a Man Out of You,” Faith giggling madly and jumping up and down to encourage her mother, the doorbell rang. Claire almost jumped out of her skin and then she laughed, pausing the music.

“Spaghetti is here, lovie!”

Faith clapped her hands and hummed again as Claire shuffled around boxes to the door. She gratefully accepted the hot bag of food, mouth watering at the smell of it. She hadn’t realized how damned hungry she’d been. She inwardly panicked for a moment, realizing she hadn't at all bothered to unpack any silverware, but was relieved to find there was plastic cutlery in the bag. She made a mental note to put them in the sink when they were done instead of throwing them out in case they needed them before she found the motivation to unpack the kitchen boxes.

“Alright, Faithie! First meal in our new home! How’s that?” She, of course, didn’t answer, just kept on with her humming and hand twitching while Claire unpacked their meals. “This is so exciting, darling. Mummy is so happy to be here with you.” She kissed Faith’s forehead as she tucked a napkin into her shirt.

Claire had often caught Frank rolling her eyes at her when she spoke to Faith like this.

“She can’t bloody understand you. Why do you bother?”

Claire’s face turned beet-red with rage. “Just because she can’t talk doesn’t mean she can’t understand.”

To Frank, their daughter was dumb, as well as mute. He could not comprehend that she was a little person, despite her quirks.

No. Not our daughter. Not his.

So, Claire talked to her, despite knowing she’d never talk back, despite not knowing if she ever fully understood what she was saying. Claire knew well enough that the sound of her voice was soothing to her daughter, and that was enough of a reason to talk. And as far as she could tell, she understood quite a bit. Not as much as Claire wished, but enough.

The steaming tins of pasta were opened and Faith dug right in, moaning in pain and dropping her fork into the tin.

“Be careful! It’s hot, darling. You have to blow, remember?” Claire took a forkful of penne and blew on it lightly before putting it in her mouth. “See?”

Faith took a new forkful and heaved an enormous breath before blowing with all her strength, sending a veritable spray of tomato sauce all over the table. Perhaps Claire should have admonished her, told her to be more gentle, but she could not think over how loud she’d burst out laughing. Quite pleased with herself, Faith stuffed the entire forkful of spaghetti into her mouth, humming and bouncing as she did. If Claire was seeing correctly, it looked like she was smirking.

Doesn’t understand, indeed!

Christ…how could anyone not see how special she was?

Eventually, Claire had to inform her daughter that she was, in fact, blowing too hard, and so the rest of the meal proceeded in a slightly less messy manner. When Faith had apparently had enough, she unceremoniously ripped her napkin off and slid out of the chair, disappearing from the kitchen.

“Faith! Come back, please.”

She, of course, did not.

Claire sighed, setting down her fork despite not being quite full yet. She got up to see what she was up to, but paused upon hearing the music start up again. Faith quickly scampered back into the kitchen, Donny Osmond’s voice getting more clear with every step. Claire laughed again.

“Ah, missing the music were we?”

Faith began swaying back and forth again.

“Would you mind if I finished eating, then?” Claire sat back down, and Faith continued bobbing. “Why don’t you dance for me while I eat, hm?”

She didn’t need to tell her twice.

Faith had the choreography from the film memorized, of course, and it was the same for every song thereafter. Claire paused her eating to give hearty applause and many a “Brava!” after each song. If Claire listened closely enough, she could hear Faith’s buzzing hum morph into something that almost resembled the melody of the song that was playing, and it made her heart soar. She’d read online dozens of stories of children with autism that were completely nonverbal, but then all of a sudden they would sing entire songs word for word flawlessly. She prayed the same would hold true for her little princess someday.

Perhaps music therapy would get that out of her.

Jesus H. Christ, one thing at a time, Beauchamp.

After dinner was ended and the leftovers were sufficiently tucked away in the fridge (and the plastic cutlery was put in the sink), Claire followed Faith into the living room and was overwhelmed by the pile of boxes. She exhaled through puffed cheeks, anxiety crawling its way into the pit of her stomach.

“Faith,” Claire said, suddenly having an idea. “Would you like to sleep with Mummy tonight?”

She hummed, bounced and clapped.

“Lovely.” Claire smiled. “Let’s go look at your room first, hm? Because sleeping with Mummy will not be a permanent arrangement.”

She took Faith’s hand and led her into the room, where Faith promptly flung herself onto the bed and scooped all of the stuffed animals into her little arms. Claire broke into an enormous grin.

“I’ll bet you missed them very much,” she said. “And they missed you, too.”

Her very favorite, a very worn out Sorcerer Mickey, had, of course, remained with them and gone in her carry on. But the others--the Minnie’s, the other Mickey’s, the teddy bears, the plush baby dolls--had been packed away and shipped here a few weeks ago.

“This is your room now, lovie. You’ll sleep here tomorrow, and every night after that. But tonight is a special night. Yes?”

Claire outstretched her hand, gesturing for them to head across the hall into her own room, and Faith responded by scooping every stuffed animal into her arms and waddling out past Claire. Claire chuckled breathily through her nose and followed her into her own bedroom. She breathed a sigh of relief. Yes, this room, sparse as it was for now, was at least empty of all boxes. Faith plopped her little friends onto the bed and scrambled up.

“Ah-ah, PJ’s first, little girl.” Claire scooped her off the bed. “We’ll not be spending our first night in this bed in dirty airport clothes.” Claire dug through one of the suitcases for a fresh pair of pajamas for herself and Faith. If Claire really wanted them to be clean, she would have insisted on a shower for both of them (ever since Frank had left, Claire had always taken Faith into the shower with her; she didn’t want to leave her alone for that long). But she was far too exhausted, even if it was only six o’clock on the Eastern Seaboard. She was in no mood to fight with Faith to get clean after the day they’d had.

When they were both properly accoutered for bed, Claire scooped her up again and deposited her in bed. She retrieved the tablet from the couch, trying her best to narrow her vision to avoid seeing the Box Everest in her living room. She wondered when the hell she’d feel like tackling all that…

For now, she settled next to Faith in bed, laying on about four stuffed animals in the process, much to her daughters dismay given the loud moan Faith uttered.

“Well, I’m sorry! They’re quite the bed hogs, darling.” Claire pulled the toys out from underneath her and pushed them closer to Faith. “Now, what shall we watch tonight?”

Their collection of DVDs was far grander than the few movies that they had on digital download on the tablet, but the thought of finding them, then the DVD player, and then sitting in that room with the rest of the boxes made Claire nauseous. So their pickings would be slim tonight. Not that Faith minded in the least.

Claire half expected her to put Frozen on for the third time today, but she instead settled on The Little Mermaid. Claire smiled warmly.

“This was my favorite when I was your age, baby. I remember seeing it in theaters. Ariel was my Elsa back then.”

She allowed Faith to hold the tablet, of course, and she snuggled into her, gathering her tiny body into her arms as the movie’s opening chords began. Despite how rowdy their dinner had been, Claire had a feeling that she would not at all be fighting sleep tonight. They’d been awake a hell of a lot longer than it seemed they were, and the meltdowns of the day were enough to wear even Faith out.

Not shockingly, she was out like a light before they even got to “Part of Your World,” which disappointed Claire just a bit; she’d been looking forward to hearing Faith hum along.

Gently and oh-so-carefully, Claire pried the tablet from her sleeping hands and shut it off, setting it on the nightstand to her left. She adjusted Faith’s little body so she was properly lying down before getting up to turn the light off. Claire smoothed her unruly curls before bending down to press a kiss to her temple as she settled under the covers beside her. Again, she laid atop of several stuffed animals. Chuckling to herself, she picked them up and gingerly put them on the nightstand with the tablet.

As Claire’s head hit the pillow, she began running down the mental list of things she had to do tomorrow. Breakfast, then call an Uber to get to the dealership — shit, what the hell were they going to have for breakfast? Leftover pasta?

Scratch that. Call the Uber right away, get to a diner or somewhere else for breakfast. Faith will be quite excited to have chocolate chip pancakes. That thought made Claire smile. Then get a second Uber to take them from the diner to the dealership. Put that new Instacart to use and order some groceries so that they didn’t have to go to the diner every morning for the rest of their lives. Claire had shopped online for a car to lease when they arrived, and if everything went smoothly at the dealership, she’d be driving home in it tomorrow.

She also made a note to stop somewhere for a new SIM card and to cancel her international phone plan and start up a local plan. The thought of having an American phone number seemed strange, but also comforting. Not only did it seem to be the last step in finalizing her new permanent residence in the States, but it was also a comfort to know that Frank would never be able to contact her again.

Shit.

She didn’t plug in her phone.

Groaning in annoyance, Claire peeled herself from her daughter’s side and out of bed to rifle through her purse for her charger. When did I get so damned scatterbrained…?

Well, that was a dumb question.

The world had come crashing down on her the day Frank told her he was through. Everything seemed to spiral out of control in that moment, and every single thing she had done since then had been an attempt to regain that control. It worked, for the most part, but she still felt like she was losing brain cells by the second since he’d dropped the bomb on her.

Faith was having a meltdown. It wasn’t necessarily one of her worst ones, but it wasn’t a walk in the park, either. Needless to say, things could have been better. Nothing in particular had set her off as far as Claire could tell, and Claire was beside herself trying to get it out of her.

“What’s wrong, baby? I can’t help you if I don’t know what’s wrong…are you hurt? Hungry?” She felt her head for a fever, but came up negative. “Faith, darling, what’s wrong?”

“For fuck’s sake, Claire! She isn’t going to answer!” Frank slammed a hand on the kitchen table.

Faith shrieked and clamped her hands over her ears, her eyes wide with terror.

“Frank! Don’t do that!” Claire’s voice hitched. “Shh…it’s alright baby, Mummy is here…” She cupped Faith’s face in her hands as her daughter carried on, hands still firmly pressed into her ears.

“You know she can’t handle loud noises, Frank.” Claire tried to keep her voice level and quiet, not wanting to upset her further.

“She can’t handle anything Claire! That’s precisely the issue!”

“Do not raise your voice.” Claire was losing patience. “You’re making it worse.”

“Everything makes it worse! And what is it? What did it this time?”

“It is autism, Frank. You bloody well know that.”

“Christ, I know! I hear the word hundreds of times a day!”

“Oh, for God’s sake…” Claire’s face became hot with anger. “You have been nothing but difficult since her diagnosis, Frank. I feel like I’m doing this all alone! Why can’t you set aside your personal feelings for her? She’s your flesh and blood! How can you talk about her like this?”

Frank shook his head. “No flesh and blood of mine would turn out like that.”

Claire felt like she’d been kicked in the stomach. “What are you saying…?”

“I don’t…want this, Claire. I can’t do it anymore.”

“You can’t…You can’t do it? You haven’t done a bloody thing!” Her voice was near to shouting now, and Faith looked like her head was about to explode from the sheer force with which she was squeezing her ears.

“If you want to be burdened with someone like her for the rest of your life, be my guest. I’m through.”

“So that’s it then? You’re walking out on five years of marriage?” Claire stood up, leaving Faith in the kitchen and following him to the front door. “On your four-year-old daughter?”

He turned and gave her a grave, disgusting look as he opened the door. “That is not my daughter.”

Claire found her eyes welling up with tears again, as they had nearly every night since. And for perhaps the thousandth time she asked herself: How could she have been so wrong about somebody? How could she have married someone that would be so despicable towards his own child?

And for perhaps the millionth time, she silently vowed that she would do anything and everything for her daughter. God, she would walk through fire for her. She practically did. She vowed to be everything Faith needed, to fill the empty position of father, to devote every breath and every beat of her heart to raising her with love and patience. Every time she was harsh with her, and simultaneously every time she relented to her to avoid a meltdown, she felt like she was doing it all wrong. She could’ve been more patient, she could have reasoned with her instead of giving in…

But the truth was, every day was unpredictable, and no two situations were the same.

I’m doing the best I bloody can. And I always will, baby.

Luckily, her residence didn't start for another two weeks, so she and Faith could get settled, and Faith could get to know Mrs. Lickett before she had to watch her full time. The thought left knots in her stomach and a hard lump in her throat. Finding a sitter in Oxfordshire with the right qualifications had been a nightmare, and Claire had almost up and quit medical school because of it. Thank God she didn’t. Mrs. Lickett seemed more than qualified, however; it was just a matter of whether or not Faith would allow her to…well…exist in this apartment at all.

Claire absently rolled over to check the time on her phone, and she groaned audibly. 9:02. She’d been lying awake, mind racing, for nearly three hours. That was another thing she hadn’t managed to recover: a quiet enough mind to allow her to sleep. Sighing deeply, she gathered Faith’s sleeping little body into her arms, burying her face in her curls, breathing her in.

We’ve got another long day ahead of us, lovie. If you wouldn’t mind sharing some of that strength of yours, I’d quite appreciate it.

The truth is plain to see, Faith. You were sent to rescue me.

#outlander #outlander au #outlander fanfic #outlander fanfiction #claire fraser #claire beauchamp #claire randall #faith fraser #jamie fraser #frank randall

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symphonic--chaos · 4 years

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Someday Stars

Chapter 1/? Malec (Shadowhunters AU) Summary: Alec Lightwood and Magnus Bane are both YouTube musicians who dream of making it big some day. When Simon Lewis and his band, Rock Solid Panda, go on tour and ask them to open for him, they both realize this could be their window to something greater.

Also here on AO3

Alec rushed around his apartment, creating a tornado's path with every step as his hands grabbed clothes as fast as they could. He knew he should have folded them after getting home from the laundromat last night. The email from Simon Lewis's management team still sat open on his laptop, which had been thrown unceremoniously to the end of his bed, the words still sitting on the screen: We will be back in New York City tonight and we would love to invite you to join our tour.If you will join us, you will be opening after Magnus Bane, and followed by Simon and the band. We will provide the bus, Simon does have room on his own. Please bring any merchandise you would like to sell. [Text from Izzy] OMG OMG OMG ARE YOU SERIOUS??????? YES, DO IT DO IT DO IT [Text from Izzy] while you're at it, get me some free tickets [Text from Mom] Oh, I'm so proud of you Alec! The book store and myself will be fine. Isabelle can help me. Go! I'm sure you'll make more money on the tour than here, anyway. We need to empty out your web store and send you with merch! [Text from Izzy] waIT I JUST SAW MAGNUS BANE IS THERE???!!!! TICKETS, BROTHER, YOU THREE ARE MY DREAM TOUR. [Text from Mom] Isabelle is screaming, I can hear her from downstairs. With each vibration Alec felt his anxiety grow, his hands shaking as he shoved the last thing he needed into the second suitcase. His eyes scanned over each text as he struggled to hold his phone, the smile growing on his face with each text they read. They lingered on the name Magnus Bane as he read Izzy's texts, he knew the name but he wasn't sure if he'd actually sat and listened to him. Both of them were musicians on YouTube aspiring to be as big as Simon had gotten, though according to Izzy, Magnus had just a slightly bigger following than Alec now because of the tour. Taking in a deep breath, Alec tilted his head back and closed his eyes, trying to focus himself on relaxing- he still had six hours until the tour reached New York City from their first shows in Boston and Hartford the previous nights.

"Alexa, start YouTube."

Alec said to the TV, releasing the button on the firestick as he moved into the kitchen. The cardboard of the pizza box he'd retrieved from within the fridge gave a dull thud as it was tossed onto the counter and a slice of cheese was taken out. "Magnus Bane," he said around a full mouth once he'd selected the search option, leaning against the counter as he watched the TV begin pulling up the search results. A few clicks had him on the fellow singers profile, his eyes scanning over the short bio on the About page. **NOW TOURING WITH ROCK SOLID PANDA** Singer/Pianist/Loverboy Web Shop Insta Twitter

Moving onto the main tab, Alec scrolled through, some of the highlighted ones being of Magnus sitting in a room decked out like a studio, or being in an actual studio. One or two was of him and a girl with a bright smile and dark eyes, her lips painted deep red and eyes with as much eyeliner as Magnus had. Alec noticed there was a trend of hearts on each video title with her in it, no doubt this was someone he liked or was dating and it came as no surprise, Alec thought as he took another bite of the pizza, Magnus was pretty attractive.

Scrolling to the top once more and finally selecting videos, he was surprised to see a video had been uploaded the day before, the preview screenshot much different than the bright, usually gold and purple themed photoshopped pictures he did in most of the videos Alec had scrolled past. This time is was Magnus illuminated on a stage by a single light from above, his head bowed as a grand piano sat at the mercy of his fingers. The picture was only titled HALLELUJAH, rather than the more descriptive titles on other videos.

Alec selected the video and moved to the couch to flop down with the pizza box. The camera shook a little, it was clear someone was holding it rather than it being on a tripod and self-shot. Alec wondered if it was someone from Simon's team or if Magnus had crew of his own- something Alec realized he didn't have any of which might create problems down the line. One of his dogs came over to the couch, a whine in her throat and vibrating against his knee as she rested her chin on him, looking longingly at the pizza in his hand as the piano started, soft and slow. Alec took a final bite before offering half of the crust to the dog, saving the other half for her brother.

Alec choked as he heard the voice come from his TV.

His whipped back to the screen as Magnus sang the first verse, his voice soft but firm like the notes being played on the piano. Despite the camera staying focused on Magnus and the piano as a whole, only moving as the person slowly circled the two, Alec couldn't stop staring at the look on Magnus's face. It didn't take a genius to know something was bothering him, that bright smile and lit up eyes from the video previews replaced by something dark, sad. His voice wasn't forced, but there was something in it that Alec knew all too well, he was singing this to someone- this upload was deliberate, a public liberation.

The camera came around to Magnus's side as he reached the second verse and once again his face was changing, sadness turning to anger and Alec could see the tears in Magnus's eyes. Alec's hand shifted on the remote, the volume on the screen going up as he leaned forward, not even noticing the other dog coming and slowly stealing the other crust half from his hand. “She tied you to her kitchen chair,” Alec could hear Magnus's voice getting louder, angrier, hearing the echo of both his singing and the piano echoing through the empty hall unveiled behind him as the person filming moved.

"And she broke your throne and she cut your hair," Magnus was hitting the keys harder. "And from your lips she drew the Hallelujah." Magnus's voice finally wavered, cracking as the pain seeped out in a moment of weakness, his fingers slammed down the final notes of the second verse before stilling. Alec's breath caught in his throat as he watched the singer take in a deep breath, the sound in the echoing silence monumental as the person filming paused, whether on purpose or a sudden feeling of remorse. "Hallelujah, hallelujah," It took a little under thirty seconds, but Magnus was playing again and this time, he was a broken man nearly whispering his lament. This was for the girl with the heart in her title. Alec finally found his breath as his lungs screamed for air, his heart pounding in his chest and, much to his surprise, his eyes stung with tears for the man on the screen. He didn't even know Magnus yet and already his heart was breaking with him as if he'd been through whatever relationship issues Magnus was having as well. Alec knew he put a lot of emotion in his music, thoughts and dreams into his lyrics, but here was someone who managed to bring him to a level he'd never reached before when listening to a performance. Whether it was the anger resurfacing or a sudden strength that Magnus had forgotten was in him, Alec came back to the moment when he heard Magnus singing the final verse of the song, his voice rising strong, normally low notes changed to high in such a beautiful time and contrast with the notes played on the piano, made his own and suddenly Alec could tell why Izzy was such a fan of the man on the screen. The final 'Hallelujah's' resonated through the hall, the camera recording him picking up each echo of the lyrics until the last note played and the echos faded away. Alec swallowed harshly, his tongue darting out over dry lips only to find everything was dry from his mouth being agape. Alec would be touring with the one who just poured his heart and soul out to not only the piano but his virtual audience. Magnus was a performer to a level that Alec wasn't sure he was ready to follow with his mellow tunes. Magnus was... amazing and Alec knew he needed to meet him. -- Simon waved Alec along behind him, his big goofy smile bright in the near darkness as the sun set behind the tall buildings in the horizon. Lights were just starting to come on and Alec had already been given a tour of Simon's bus, his bunk, and was alerted that all staff needs would be handled by Simon's staff due to the late notice in having him join the tour. It was a relief to say the least, since Alec wasn't used to any sort of tours, he was used to the safety of his recording room behind a microphone and camera with his guitar on his lap. "Come on, this is Magnus's bus. I'll introduce you to him." Simon said, not bothering to knock on the door and instead putting in the code on the door and letting himself in. It took only seconds after the door opened and they stepped up onto the stairs that a woman's harsh voice filled the bus. "You can't just tell me to leave! We've been together for years! YEARS, Magnus!" "Well maybe you should have thought of those years before you fucked two guys on the staff, Camille!" Magnus's voice snapped back, no hint of control there like he'd had in the video that was uploaded. Simon looked back at Alec, behind him on the stairs, like a deer caught in headlights. Neither wanted to move, neither wanted to say anything about them being there, purely out of fear of the repercussions. Alec shrugged and glanced behind him to see how they could back out slowly and quietly, only then noticing what looked like Magnus's staff out on the sidewalk behind them, seemingly waiting for the fight. Great of them to warn he and Simon. "It was a mistake! I had too much to drink, you know how things get!" Camille retorted, her voice going from harsh to pleading, Alec almost able to hear the tears in her voice. Cheap shot, he thought. It was Magnus's silence that had Alec peeking up slowly over the partition between the bus and the stairs, not daring to go up any higher like Simon was. Simon was actually impressed the two hadn't noticed them yet. Magnus looked done, his eyes tired and his lips void of the bright smile he had in every video; instead turned down in a deep frown. He looked thoughtfully at Camille and Alec almost wanted to tell him not to cave to guilt tactics, but this wasn't his place. He didn't know either of them, he didn't know the situation other than her cheating- he bit back the comment. "Camille, you need to leave. It's done. We're done." "Magnus, we--" "We went through this once before, two years ago, remember? You drank too much, you got loose with the wrong guy. I forgave you and said I would never do it again and now here we are, Camille. Back to this same old shit and I'm tired. I want to make something of my life and having to worry about keeping you close so you don't just fuck someone with a bottle of gin? That's not part of my life. Please get out." Magnus said finally and Alec watched him stare Camille in the eye, holding strong to his words. It was something Alec wasn't sure he could bring himself to do in a situation like this, but he felt an almost pride in Magnus for it. "No. No, Magnus, we can talk this o--" Camille started, though Simon clearing his throat caught her attention and she looked over at him, her pleading look turning into a sneer. "We're having a conversation here!" "One that it sounds like Magnus is done with. Look, this is between you two, but we have a show coming up tomorrow and I wanted to introduce Magnus to Alec..." Simon trailed off as he motioned behind him to Alec, who had ducked back down as if he wasn't there. Well, the jig was up. Alec straightened up, giving the two further in the bus a sheepish smile and a hesitant wave. "Uh, hey. I'm Alec Li--" "Lightwood." Magnus finished, sounding miserable still but Alec gave him a break on the smile he tried to force on his face. "I've seen and subscribe to you, you do great work." Alec felt a twinge of guilt that he hadn't heard of Magnus before, especially considering Magnus had at least a thousand more followers than he himself did. A hand rose to run through shaggy black hair in desperate need of a haircut, something he should of had done instead of spending hours watching Magnus's videos. Then again, he was sure Magnus probably followed a bunch of YouTube musicians, especially with a collab folder as large as he'd found under the video collections and the amount of 'Musician spotlight' shoutout videos that were also there. "It's nice to meet you, and ..." Alec looked to Camille, every bit of his willpower used to not make a face of displeasure. First impressions were important and the first of her was certainly something. "This is Camille, my ex-girlfriend. She was just leaving." The bag held towards Camille punctuated Magnus's words as he nodded towards the door. It didn't need to be said twice, Simon moved quickly out of the way and into the drivers seat area as Alec backed out of the bus to make room for her. It seemed like both men were eager to be rid of her, which Alec could only find himself mimicking to ease the moment. Camille looked between Magnus and Simon before she ripped the bag out of Magnus's hands, her eyes narrowing at him. "You'll regret this some day, Magnus. You don't know what you're losing." She spat out, her heels clicking harshly down the aisle of the bus and the stairs to follow. "You okay...?" Simon asked as he looked over to Magnus, moving further into the bus to pat his shoulder comfortingly. Alec was behind him though giving the two a bit of space, not wanting to intrude on the two friends that seemed to be having a moment. "I'm fine, thank you for stepping in. I didn't want to snap, I just..." Magnus sighed before glancing over Simon's shoulder and straightening his slumped back. "Mr. Lightwood, I'm glad you could join the tour. When Simon's manager mentioned wanting to reach out to you, I backed Simon and told her I highly recommended it. They were worried it was too last minute, but who gets a chance like this, right?" Alec found himself smiling at Magnus's smile, no matter how defeated it looked on the other man. "Yes, thank you, and thank you, Simon, for talking to her about me. Really, this is... I couldn't have even imagined I'd be here right now, much less going on a tour across the country performing for people, with other people." "Surreal, isn't it? This one is bigger than my last one, that was kind of just a small venue type thing where it was little crowds, but once we saw forums saying people were sad we were sold out, and when my manager saw people outside lined up around the block trying to get in still, they knew we had to go a little bigger this time. Really it was the last albums success, plus all the promotions and videos we threw up on YouTube that made it work for us. That last bit was at some persuasion of Magnus during one of the collabs we did of a Queen cover. Also we--" "Simon, you're rambling." Magnus chimed in, his fingers massaging his temple. Alec noticed the paint was slightly chipped, but he was sure there was more pressing things that Magnus had to worry about than that. "Oh! Oh, I am, yeah, sorry." Simon laughed and looked at the men he was basically sandwiched between. "Sooooo Alec, you should come see the venue and you can talk to my manager. Do you have a manager? They could talk about pay and stuff like that?" Simon's attention turned solely to Alec, who seemed nervous suddenly. "I... no. I mean, my mom handles a lot of my stuff like little shows around town and my sister handles my merch store but... I'm my own manager." "Nothing wrong with that, I'm my own currently as well. It's not so hard, I can show you the ropes." Magnus offered as he moved to the nearby fridge, pulling out a bottle of water and offering it out towards the two. Simon took it, Alec taking the next offered, and Magnus opened the third to take a long sip. "What order will we be doing this?" "I think you should go first to get the crowd riled up, then Alec, then me." Simon answered, his fingers fiddling with the cap of the water bottle. "Actually, I was thinking, if it's okay, if I go first and Magnus goes before you?" Alec said nervously, clearing his throat. He then looked to Magnus as he lifted a hand in defense, which had the other smirking. "Not that I want to displace you other anything, I just... you know, my stuff is kind of slower and I stand there and play my guitar. Magnus... is everywhere. I saw someone call him the next Freddie Mercury and I mean, I've been watching videos and--" "You've been watching me, Alexander?" Magnus mused, watching the faint trace of pink tint Alec's cheeks at both the comment and the name. "N-NO, I mean, yes, but-- look, what I mean is I think Magnus can get them more riled up and ready for you better than I can. He's got the energy like you, he's got an entire band to perform with, it's just me and--" "Are you torturing the new talent?" A woman's voice floated from the staircase, all three turning to look at the redhead watching them with amusement. "Ah! That's my manager. Alec, this is Jocelyn. Jocelyn, Alec. Her daughter, Clary, does the art for our flyers and shirts." Simon introduced, slipping past Alec to go over and greet the woman. "Should we show him the venue? Go over setlists?" "I think that would be the wisest decision, we don't have much time." Jocelyn nodded, smiling to Alec and Magnus before turning and moving back off the bus. "Alec, do you have a manager?" She asked as Alec came off the bus as well, followed by Magnus. "No, not yet. Just me. Magnus said he could help, though?" Jocelyn glanced past Alec to Magnus as he spoke, nodding in agreement. "I can help you out as well, we'll make you a natural. I've been teaching Simon along the way with the promise that he doesn't replace me." She winked to them and turned to lead them to the venue, the guard at the door opening it for them once he saw the badge around her neck. -- "This is..." Alec stood on the stage, looking over the rows of seating both on the floor and on the balcony above them. "Intimidating?" Simon asked. "Beautiful?" Magnus said at the same time, the two looking at each other with grins before they looked over at Alec. "Yeah," Alec answered with a breathless laugh, since both statements were pretty spot on. He'd played in coffee shops and small bookstores, but this was 10x's bigger than anything he'd been in before. It was surreal, almost so much so that he couldn't believe it was real. He was grateful for the opportunity and even more so of the moment that the two were giving him to soak it all in. Alec was sure they'd both had their own their first time, which Magnus had stated on their way in was the show they did in Boston. It apparently took him almost an hour to recover from it, and he only fully accepted it when they stepped into the Hartford venue. "You ready, big guy?" Jocelyn asked as she touched Alec's shoulder lightly, bringing him out of that moment and making him realize that Simon and Magnus had left his side and were now messing around with some of the equipment waiting for the show the next night. "Y-Yeah, sorry, I didn't mean to get lost there." Alec could feel his face heating up, but Jocelyn looked plenty understanding and smiled at him, exuding the air of motherlike patience. "Hey, everyone goes there. Simon looked like a kid in a candy store his first big stage. Took me fifteen minutes to get him to stop running around with his arms up like some musical Rocky." She laughed and led him back to the others, putting a folder down on the table. "Alright guys, I think Alec was right in saying he should go first. No offense, Alec." "None taken." "Magnus you not only have energy, you're just infectious and now that ... she's gone, I think you're just free, kid. That Magnus you bottled up to keep an eye on her, let him go. Be the you we all saw on your channel, the one that we fell in love with when you came to the studio to do Killer Queen with them." Magnus's arms were crossed, his face neutral, but her pep talk seemed to bring a little bit of that light back and he couldn't stop the crook of his lips from forming a little smile. "You want me to..." "Break free." Jocelyn said with a playful wink, the two having found a bond over a shared love of Queen. "Are you guys flirting? This looks like flirting. I'm totally cool with it but like--" Simon's voice carried all the humor that Alec had expected from everything he'd seen on the RSP channel- he'd always seemed like the goofiest of the group. A shove from Magnus had Simon laughing and lifting his hands in a mock surrender. Jocelyn rolled her eyes though her smile was bright and she opened the folder, pulling out different papers and handing them to the men they belonged to respectively. "Alec, Clary and I went through your channel and we picked the videos with the most views, both covers and your originals, the same way we did with Magnus. What your homework is tonight is to go through this list and let me know if there's anything you want to add or remove. Remember that you have a 45 minute slot- so make sure the songs fit. It's okay if you go five minutes over, but we generally try to keep that to any crowd attention and loving you want to do after you perform. Magnus, you do the same, though I'm sure you want to keep your set, and Simon- anything you want to switch up?" Alec was completely baffled at the situation, he had always just assumed that artists picked out their own list of their most current music and then just random songs from different albums, but it made sense that they would go with the most popular since after all, that was what sold tickets. Simon was busy scribbling out one song and replacing it with another and Magnus---- Magnus was watching him. Alec froze, unable to tear his eyes away from the stare they'd become locked into, and it wasn't until Magnus gave a smile, a genuine one this time, that Alec was able to look away, instead focusing on the paperwork on the table. "This list is pretty good, I think I might replace two, but not too much more than that." Alec stuttered as he felt himself grow hot once more. What in the hell was going on with him? "Great, make sure you have it to me by 10 A.M tomorrow. The sound guys will need to go over everything with you and get pre-testing done, so we'll want to take care of that after to make soundcheck move smoothly tonight. Also, you're free to stay in your own place while we're in the city as long as you promise you'll be back on time, assuming you live in the city?" Jocelyn was excited herself to be near her own bed and it was very evident in her tone of voice. Looking around the table, Simon and especially Magnus looked just as relieved to be back home, even though they'd only been gone for less than a week. Alec could only imagine what it would be like in a couple weeks when they'd only be a month into the six month tour. "Yeah, I live about twenty minutes from here so I think that's great. My dogs will appreciate it." "Dogs? You have dogs? You should bring them!" Simon chirped, perking up at the mental image of having dogs with them all as stress relief. "Simon, no. There isn't enough room on the bus and we just started the tour. It's going to get crazy. Let's revisit that in a month, okay?" Jocelyn's words were only relenting at the end when Simon's smile dropped and she even noticed Magnus looked bummed. Alec smiled at the trio in front of him, feeling like they all were Jocelyn's new adopted kids. Admittedly it would be a little nice having a mom on the road, especially since this would be the first time Alec would be far from his own. There was no doubt he was a mama's boy, and there was nothing he would do to deny it if ever called out on it. As Jocelyn and Simon spoke about the setlist change once more, Alec's eyes caught Magnus's at the same time as Magnus had started looking at Alec, the two staring at each other subtly for a moment before Magnus was spoken to by Simon. This would definitely be an interesting start to a new beginning for Alec.

#someday stars #malec #au #youtube musicians #simon lewis #jocelyn fray #my fics

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evak-fic-rec-turtleanon · 4 years

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Evak Fics - Music

Music au:

** Band/Singer/Musician ** Instruments ** Karaoke ** Others

***** Band/Singer/Musician *****

Suavis et decorum sicut Jerusalem by champagneleftie (2.6k words) - Pulchra es, amica mea. He can never sing it without thinking of Even. Which is ridiculous, because he doesn’t actually know Even. Has barely spoken more than a handful of words to him. Can hardly even look at him. And still he just won’t leave Isak be. Choir au

Not A Fan by glbertblythes (2.7k words) - Eva drags Isak to a local gig at a bar but Isak isn't all that interested in going nor is he interested in the band - but the lead guitarist pulls some strings for Isak the whole night.

Love Of My Life by catathena (2.8k words) - Set in the late 1970s, "50 Kroner" are trying to make it big in the rock scene. Will the boys make it on their own? Or will a mysterious stranger named Even be their missing piece? Rock band

DKLA (Don't Keep Love Around) by dobrien (10k words) - Isak is an up and coming artist dating his highschool sweetheart, Chris. Even is a little jealous. Inspired by Troye Sivan songs.

written in the stars by ourlovelybones (17k words) - Isak is very tired, but it’s still not the right word to explain the heavy feeling in his bones and the empty weight in his heart. He should be over the moon right now. He should be dancing with Even to the venue’s after-show playlist and drinking beer to celebrate his best friend agreeing to finish out the rest of his U.S tour with him. It’s more than exhaustion he feels but Isak can’t quite describe exactly what it is - and certainly not to the person who took a whole two weeks off of work to come on this tour. The one where even follows isak around on tour but isak doesn't want to deal with his feelings. Musician Isak

you're gonna sing the words wrong by strangetowns (31k words) - He looks like someone stuck together a bunch of parts they thought looked good on their own and expected the result to look like a person, with no sense of what an actual person looks like. A marching band AU.

Come On, Set the Tone by boxesofflowers, Eeyoreneedsahug (57k words) - Isak is a recently out popstar who wants to prove that he is not just another pretty face in pop music. Even is a self contained, indie singer songwriter who takes shit from nobody. Shortly after a public feud between the two begins, they’re forced together for a nationwide tour.

Twice by intothewind (101k words) - “I told them we were dating, so they’d let me in their band.” Jonas states, shrugging his shoulders. Isak and Jonas fake date which then makes things complicated between them. And then there's Even, the lead singer, which complicates things even more. Threesome. Angsty.

(WIP) Wireless by ChrisJordyn (15k words) 5/6 chapters posted - Even leans into Isak’s side. He feels so nice. And warm. His hair against his neck. The sound of his breath. It’s heaven. He hasn’t felt this safe in ages. That’s when The Thought pops back into in his mind. "What if I’m gay?" The church band 5+1 au

(WIP) we are made up of love and hate by everythingislove (straykid), puddingandpie (42k words) - Last update July 2018. The one where Isak joins his best friends on their first North American tour and definitely does not fall for Even Bech Næsheim, their infuriating(ly handsome) opening act.

(WIP) Bassline by riyku (59k words) 12/16 chapters posted - Isak is a Norwegian ex-pat, fresh out of NYU with a journalism internship, who bags an assignment covering a band from his former hometown of Oslo on their first North American tour. It takes him about three seconds to realize he kinda has a thing for the bass player. riyku is brilliant!

***** Instruments *****

you can tell everybody (this is your song) by withoutwords (713 words) - Isak’s fumbling at the frets of Even’s guitar, the blunt lines of his fingernails scratching at the wood.

how i'm feeling by boxesofflowers, Eeyoreneedsahug, safficwriter (1.3k words) - A hungover boy squad watches Isak and Even flirt through a guitar lesson.

O Helga Natt by ichliebeskam (1.5k words) - Even gives Isak a guitar lesson but Isak is grumpy because he doesn’t get it. This and a little more

Heart and Soul by wordsarelifealways (1.5k words) - Jonas asks why Isak never plays piano any more. Naturally, it leads to him playing again.

If Not For You by minutebyminute2121 (1.7k words) - Isak walks the same way to work everyday as part of his habitual routine. That is until one day his usual route is obstructed by a closed road and he has to walk a different way and gets distracted by a certain boy playing guitar.

Just B♮ by Jules1398 (2.3k words) - Isak knows nothing about guitars and somehow he finds himself working in a store that sells them. Well, at least there's the hot guy that always comes in and plays while he's on shift.

Someday You Will Find Me Caught Beneath a Landslide by AlasBohn (4.4k words) - Isak's neighbor plays his guitar every night. Isak falls asleep to it every night until he doesn't.

And that's my song, unheard by Anonymous (8.4k words) - Isak is a second year at Nissen, and he's also a violinist at the local music school. The day a new pianist arrives is the day his world is rocked off its axis.

Just two boys and a piano by depressed_mermaid_53 (8.5k words) - Even just started a new art school and there's a beautiful boy that no one talks to. Even is completely enthralled by him the second he sees him. or Isak plays piano and Even suddenly has a love for listening to piano music

Evoke by TheGirlNoOneKnows5 (16k words) - Isak and Even are roommates attending the Norwegian Academy of Music. Isak is an enigma until their sleepless nights are no longer spent alone. Pianist Isak. Guitarist Even.

Play That Song by kapplebougher (41k words) - Every day, Even catches a boy in a snapback who sneaks in to play the piano at the summer camp Even works at. Even's never seen him before. But if the boy's good looks hadn't already captivated him, then his phenomenal piano-playing ability certainly has. Even doesn't know much about love at first sight, but he thinks that this is pretty close.

The boy next door by Zabn (110k words) - Isak looks at Jonas, hoping the blush has already disappeared from his cheeks, he nervously scratches his neck. Fuck, did Jonas notice that he was staring at his new neighbor? Even plays the guitar and sings.

(WIP) tell me what you see by whalefairyfandom12 (8.3k words) - Last update Feb 2019. Isak is a pianist. It's who he is, and sometimes it feels like that's all that's left. At first, Even is nothing more than the asshole who stole his practice room--a film major with a surprising passion for music. There's something undeniable about his charm, though, and the more time they spend together the harder it is to ignore.

***** Karaoke *****

Bright Eyes by boxesofflowers, Eeyoreneedsahug (857 words) - Isak is a great singer. Several people are surprised. Happy karaoke where nothing hurts and Isak sings to his boyfriend.

i'll be coming for your love by ihatefindingusernames (1k words) - Isak and Even meet in a karaoke bar

Ready to Jingle Your Bells by MacksDramaticShenanigans (3.5k words) - Even did sing him a song, and what kind of a boyfriend would he be if he didn’t serenade Even right back?

***** Others *****

(for when they are not musicians or music is not the focus...)

it boy by spoopydumpling (445 words) - Even serenades Isak with a special song

not the kind of fool who's gonna sit and sing to you by hippopotamus (1k words) - Isak doesn't sing, and Even doesn't get surprised by Isak anymore. Actually, neither of those statements is true.

I don't want to miss a thing. by glbertblythes (1.2k words) - Songfic based on i don't want to miss a thing by aerosmith. Very sappy.

Stjerner Lyser Skinnende by MacksDramaticShenanigans (2.4k words) - Their daughter plays the violin for an orchestra.

Who Wore What by wyoheartsmusic (2.9k words) - Even is a fashion blogger that has some things to say about a certain singer's outfit choices

Defying Gravity (Britain's Got Talent) by nessauepa (4.3k words) - Their daughter goes on Britain's Got Talent. It's super sweet.

No Rain, No Roses by Fxckxxp (23k words) - Isak and Even restore a house together and make it a home. Even plays the guitar every now and then (probably not enough as a focus to justify putting it on this list but this fic is so good).

tell him that his lonesome nights are over by fauu_stine (25k words) - After their mother's death, Isak and Lea have to leave Oslo to join their father, who's living with his new girlfriend, Aurora, and her own son, a young man named Even. Singer Even.

i would like to get to know you baby by ourlovelybones (39k words) - Isak wakes up to ten strange texts from Eskild and three missed calls from his manager. He's almost worried someone has died until the screenshot comes in. Even Bech Næsheim had tweeted about him. AU in which Even is an internationally famous singer and Isak is an up and coming model he finds on twitter, a.k.a based off of the iconic Zara Larsson

#evak fic rec #skam fic rec #music #music au

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borisofroyalpains-blog · 6 years

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Merry Christmas!

Or happy winter holiday of your choice or happy New Year, as you prefer! : )

No new screenshots or quotes yet, I’m afraid - I’m stockpiling them so that if work gets really busy as it did this fall, I won’t just disappear off the face of the internet again. Ideally I plan to start posting regularly again in the new year.

In the meantime, I do have a little present for my Shadow Pond family and any other Royal Pains / Boris fans out there.

I have a few ideas that have been floating around in my head for months. I’ve written bits down here and there, but none of them are anything close to complete. So, for this holiday season, I’m going to lay out a brief summary and short snippet from five of these fic ideas and you wonderful people can tell me which one I should actually get down to writing.

Everyone - and by “everyone” I mean “anyone who reads this post” - gets two votes, and the fic with the most votes by January 8th is the one I’ll start really working on. Hopefully I’ll be able to start posting in February or March - we’ll see! (The other ideas will probably be written eventually, but I’ll give priority to the one people like best and work to get it finished.)

So let me know what sounds good to you and have a very merry Christmas / happy holiday / fun New Year’s!! Fic samples under the cut! ^_~

*Note: These are all Boris/Hank fics because that’s how I roll. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

1) The Shapeshifter AU

Wherein Boris is a shapeshifter and Shadow Pond serves as a safe haven for other shifters. When Hank crashes a party and saves the life of a guest, Boris decides he is the ideal candidate - not only to become Boris’s personal doctor, but also to help with a plan of even greater importance. Hank, meanwhile, knows that his new boss is a very private, even secretive man…but he has no idea just how much Boris is hiding. [This one has the potential to get super long, just to warn you. It mmight take longer to see any of it.]

—

“So what was the big hurry?” Evan asked as soon as Hank came onto the patio. “Everything okay?”

“Yeah, everything’s fine,” Hank said as he passed him. “Just a bite.”

“A – a bite?” Evan repeated. “Like a wo– uh, a dog bite, or uh…something else?”

Hank turned slowly. Evan only got that high-pitched and agitated when he’d done something that he knew Hank wouldn’t like. “What do you mean, something else?” If this was leading up to some wild theory that Boris was a vampire…

“I, uh, nothing? I didn’t mean anything! I was just – I’m not supposed to know, I’m not supposed to say anything –”

“You tell me right now,” Hank interrupted, cutting through the babble, “or –”

“The attack wolves are really wolves!” Evan blurted. “And there are tons of other animals up there, like foxes and bobcats and probably lions and tigers and bears for all I know –”

“Oh, sure.” Hank relaxed. “Boris just has a private menagerie that roams the property and bites unsuspecting –”

“Henry, I saw them,” Evan insisted, and he looked so completely serious that Hank couldn’t help but believe him.

A few more pointed questions and the whole story came spilling out. By the end of it, Hank was simmering with righteous indignation. It didn’t matter if the housekeeper had really been bitten by a “dog” or not – Boris had obviously coached her on what to say, lied repeatedly to Hank and Evan, and then threatened Evan into lying for him!

“I’ll be back soon,” he said grimly, and started back out toward the main house.

“Henry!” Evan caught at his arm. “Look, maybe we should just let it go. What if he feeds you to his pit of alligators or something?”

“No, Ev, I’m not gonna let this go. I won’t work for someone I can’t trust.”

This time, Evan let him go with a wordless noise of frustration. Hank was well on his way when he heard Evan yell, “If you’re not back by dinner, I’m calling animal control!”

2) The Season 8 Fix-It Fic

Wherein Hank doesn’t run off to find Jill, Boris doesn’t abandon Shadow Pond, and the two of them go on a vacation together instead. [Could go shorter or longer, but I’d say at least 5-10 chapters.]

—

Hank arrived to find Boris already seated, as per usual, with a newspaper.

“Hank.”

“Hey, Boris.” Hank sat with a quiet sigh. Then he straightened in his seat as Udo put a drink in front of him, knowing immediately that something was up.

That was a bottle of beer – and not just any beer, but Hank’s favorite, the one that Boris couldn’t see without getting a look of mild disdain.

Hank looked from the beer to Boris, who was wearing his blandest expression. Hank considered his options for a moment, then picked up the bottle and took a sip.

“Okay. What’s the occasion?”

Boris looked pleased. “I have a proposal for you, Hank.”

Hank grinned in spite of himself. “Yeah, I figured as much. What kind of international intrigue is it this time?”

“Nothing so exciting,” said Boris. He paused a moment, smoothing a hand across the linen tablecloth. “I would like to offer you a vacation, anywhere you like, as long as you like. No hidden agenda. Just some time away to think about what changes you want.”

3) The Deal with a Devil AU

Crossover with the short film Love, Lots of It (starring Campbell Scott). I wrote a prompt post for this idea a while back and started writing it myself. Whoops. ^_^;; [Not sure how long this would be? Honestly this is the one that needs the most planning still.]

—

There had been a story on campus, that’s what Rob had been talking about. It always made the rounds before major exams, this story about a man (or a demon or the devil, depending on who was telling it) who would grant the requests of the desperate. For a price, of course. Hank had always thought of it as just a running joke on campus, but there had been students who insisted it was true. None of them had ever seen the man in person – it was always “this girl who was here five years ago” or “my friend’s older brother’s lab partner” – but they were convinced nonetheless.

“This is stupid,” Hank said aloud. His voice sounded dull and flat in the oppressive silence of his apartment.

You’d do anything, huh? Really anything?

He stared blankly at the TV screen, not really seeing the silent, moving figures. He could just – go for a drive. Just get out of the apartment and away from the stacks of bills for a little while. He could just drive up that road, kind of a nod to one of the quirks of his alma mater. And if he brought a box, just in case… No one would ever have to know.

4) Hank gets kidnapped; Boris is Not Pleased

When Hank substituted his blood for Boris’s in Hong Kong, neither of them thought that Guy’s mysterious employers would target Hank himself. Unfortunately, they were wrong. [Again, could go shorter or longer. Sort of hurt/comfort, I guess, but very short on the hurt - nothing really awful is going to happen to Hank.]

I don’t have a good intro clip for this one, so have a longer summary: Hank receives an offer - a whole lot of money in exchange for just a little information about his employer. Bound by doctor-patient confidentiality and his own loyalty, Hank of course refuses. Alas, he’s dealing with people who won’t take no for an answer and is subsequently kidnapped. While Hank tries to stall for time and avoid giving his captors any useful information, Boris sets a search for him in motion and tries not to completely lose it. And of course, when eventually Hank’s location is discovered, Boris insists on handling the situation personally.

And here are the lines that kicked off this idea for me: Hank called him a word that he’d once heard Dmitry call Boris when Dmitry was particularly irate. Someone backhanded him viciously, and Hank decided to take that as a compliment on his pronunciation.

5) Hank has a secret admirer

Mysterious gifts start appearing outside the guesthouse for Hank. Who could this secret admirer possibly be?? [Short and very sweet. Like that’s the entire plot, Hank getting very thoughtful presents. And maybe falling in love. With Boris. In case you couldn’t tell.]

—

Hank was hardly an artist, but the portrait didn’t look like professional work to his untrained eye. But the level of detail, the warm, happy expression on portrait-Hank’s face… It felt so personal, so – Hank struggled for words – reverential, almost, that his breath caught in his chest.

“Well that’s creepy.”

Evan’s voice came out of nowhere, and Hank twitched in surprise. “Hey, that’s my face you’re talking about!” he said defensively.

“You’re right, that’s part of the problem,” Evan said, nodding, “but I was more thinking about the fact that you clearly have some kind of stalker.”

Hank laughed. “Ev, don’t be ridiculous.”

“I’m serious, Henry!” He pointed at the drawing. “Look at that – someone has been staring longingly at your face from the shadows and probably going through our trash. It’s creepy!”

Hank tilted the portrait toward his chest, feeling oddly protective of it. “You’re blowing this way out of proportion - nobody is going through our trash! I think you’re just jealous.”

“Jealous? Why would I – What –” Evan sputtered.

“Goodbye, Evan,” Hank said, making a quick exit and taking the latest gift with him.

Soooo those are the main fic ideas I have kicking around in my head right now. Tell me which two you’re most interested in reading and hopefully I’ll start posting the most popular choice in a few months. Happy holidays!

#Royal Pains #Boris Kuester von Jurgens-Ratenicz #Hank Lawson #Boris/Hank #write the fic #my comrades in lust #our Shadow Pond family #ALL the RP / Boris fans #vote now!! get fic!!#i hope all of you are doing well and i promise i'll be around more in 2018

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artificialqueens · 7 years

Text

A Head, A Heart, & A Crown {Biadore} Chapter 12 -C*NT

A/N: I hope you guys enjoyed the last chapter! This one ends on a really big cliffhanger so just a warning…Chapter 13 will be a time jump to the Autumn of 2017. Enjoy!!

Adore smiled at her new group chat in her phone. She couldn’t believe that Alaska was the one to go home, she was sure it was going to be Alyssa. Alaska and Katya were going on and on about something, but Adore didn’t really understand what they were talking about. She shut her screen off and grabbed a shirt and shorts out of her suitcase to put on for the day. Now she could say that she was a part of 2 Top 4 group chats! Her phone was never going to stop blowing up, she realized although her Season 6 Top 4 chat had been quiet for a while. She was excited for the final challenge that was happening later today. She pulled on her shorts and got ready to leave the hotel room NOW for the second to last time.

Everything that had happened yesterday with Bianca was weird. It was so up and down. First they were awkward, then they were fighting like a married couple, and then they were flirting and defending each other. The new dynamic didn’t make much sense to her, especially now that the line of friendship had been severely blurred. Were they friends? Acquaintances? Were they back to normal?

Adore felt the sexual tension between the two of them yesterday. Bianca was not very shy about letting her eyes fixate on the curves of her body, or letting her hands linger on her waist during their dance. It was clear there was still something there between them. There always was though, and maybe there always would be.

For now, Adore had to pack her things so she could go straight to her apartment to meet up with Jaremi at the bar. That way she could pick up her luggage, and be dropped off at her apartment by the uber.

Jaremi: Hey, we’re still on for tonight right?

Adore looked down at her phone confused.

Adore: Of course we are. Why wouldn’t we be?

Jaremi: Just wondering…did you happen to hang out with Bianca last night by chance?

Adore was even more confused now. Why would he be asking that?

Adore: I wouldn’t call it hanging out, we had to do a challenge together. Why?

Adore waited. And waited. It seemed like it was taking him forever to respond.

Then the screenshots came in. Bianca had basically threatened Phi Phi. What the fuck? She angrily picked up her phone and dialed her number.

“Well well well, it takes winning a challenge for you to call me? I should’ve come on-”

“’ ‘Just know that I’ll have her back, even when this relationship doesn’t make it.’ God Roy how big of a fucking disaster do you think I am?” Danny yelled into the phone.

Roy felt his heart stop as he realized Phi Phi had ratted him out.

“I-I don’t think you’re a disaste-”

“I don’t understand you! You let me go to basically BE with Jaremi. Now you’re threatening him?! What do you want Roy?”

It was silent over the receiver. Danny and Roy both sighed.

“I just want you to be happy.” Roy finally said.

“You don’t think Jaremi will accomplish that?”

“Jaremi is sneaky, Danny. I’m not understanding why you don’t see that.”

“Oh and you’re so perfect Roy. You’re not sneaky at all going behind my

back and kissing Courtney, and not telling me you were going to come on the show. Jaremi is just misunderstood,

you’re just a fucking asshole.”

“Okay listen queen, I didn’t tell you I was filming because I didn’t think you were actually here-”

“You know what that’s another thing, you think I’m just a big fucking selfish party animal. Maybe I was when we first met, but not anymore. I was fucking there for you Roy!” Danny was starting to cry in frustration. The sobs were breaking Roy’s heart. It was this moment where he realized that he had broken him.

“Danny please don’t cry.” Roy tried to comfort him.

“I’ll cry if I fucking want to Roy. How dare you come at Jaremi like that when you kissed Courtney and cheated on me! I’m sorry I’m not a fucking size 2 Australian supermodel with thousand-dollar custom made gowns.” Danny sobbed.

Roy felt like an absolute idiot. Of course Danny was still upset about it, and now

he realized why. He didn’t feel like he was good enough for him. By him kissing Courtney, that was the validation in Danny’s mind.

��Danny you are more than that. You’re amazingly talented, intelligent, and beautiful.”

“But that still wasn’t enough for you Roy! I even opened up my apartment for you and it still wasn’t enough.”

“Danny it was-”

“I should go.” Danny said numbly.

Roy held his breath as he felt the tears coming.

“Okay.” Roy’s voice shook.

But when he looked at his phone, Danny was already gone.

—–

“Meow you already know my name

You know I’m the messiest slut in the game

The number 1 fan fave of all time

I was the Season 6 runner up, and that’s the true crime.

Monsoon, hurricanes I’ve been through them all.

But bitch I’m back, and I ain’t gonna stall

Couture, Gowns, Dresses that hit the floor,

If you ask why I’ll tell you this is what you came for

I’m a fucking mermaid, a woman of the ocean

I can make your hips rock in slow motion

Sorry but you can’t deny that I’m a messy whore

But trust and believe mama there’s so much more

Fuck, party, chola, that was my start

But my motherfucking voice is off the charts

I’m here to win it all, so I can buy more pizza

so sit back and watch this fucking Libra win the crown mamacita.”

“That was great! Excellent work Adore.” AB Soto exclaimed.

Adore smiled and took off her headphones. She had come up with the rap last night after she had gotten back from her hotel room. She had also finished another song last night, called “Out Of The Blue” that she thought was describing her current situation with Roy quote well. She hoped her rap was good enough for the judges.

“Go ahead and head over to the next room where you will be recording your What’s The T podcast with Ru and Michelle. Great job today. ”

The song was really good. She liked what Ru had come up with making the top 3 queens each have verses. She smiled and waved goodbye to AB Soto.

The ‘What’s The T’ podcast was literally one room over, so all she had to do was walk through another door and she was basically there.

“Oh look who’s joined us, it’s Adore Delano!” Ru exclaimed.

“Sit baby, sit.” Michelle smiled and gestured to the chair next to her.

“Hi guys!” Adore said with a wide smile.

“You have made it to the Top 3 of All Stars 2, Adore how are you feeling?” Ru asked as he took a sip of his hot tea sitting on the table.

“I feel amazing, like I never thought I’d be in this position again but I’m so glad I am. I’m eternally grateful.” Adore expressed.

“You’ve come a looooong way from your season girl.” Michelle commented.

“I agree; you have had wonderful runway looks; which in your season wasn’t as widespread as it has been this season. Did you have any help with some of the outfits you’ve worn?” Ru asked.

“Not really no. I kind of just picked a few things that I thought would be really pretty. I’ve only gotten help for three of my outfits, one of them being the leotard I wore last night. Bianca had offered to make it for me really fast cuz she thought it would be cute if we matched. She also picked out 2 dresses for me, I’m not going to say which one I’m wearing tonight because I want it to be a surprise.”

“So basically, she doesn’t want us to think Bianca was the one that has helped her win her runways.” Michelle laughed.

“Oh Michelle, we know Bianca hasn’t though. Adore, you have still kept yourself within all of your looks and it shows. Yours and Bianca’s style is so very different.”

“I agree, I’m not like a pageant queen like she is or a damn seamstress so it’s a little bit different for me.” Adore laughed.

“Which brings me to my next question. Bianca has built an amazing empire after your guys’ season. If you were to win All Stars 2, how would you build something similar?” Ru asked.

That was a tough question. Kind of a shady one, Adore thought. She hated being compared to Bianca since they were two completely different queens with two very different aesthetics. Her empire would be completely different from hers though.

“God, I don’t know man. I would be honored to carry on your legacy. But we would have completely different empires. Bianca’s a comedy queen, and an actor; she’s so talented. We’re very different, but I would probably try to be more involved with the youth and do a lot of volunteering and interacting with them and such. I feel like it’s very important to educate the next generation and tell them that it’s okay to express themselves. And of course I’ll always be making music.”

“Can I just say, that you have grown so much since I first met you Adore?” Michelle said.

“I agree, even just from the first episode of this season you seem different. Everything about you seems more

polished, yet still you. I’m very proud that you have stayed true to who you are.” Ru said with pride.

“Thanks Ru.” Adore smiled.

“Now, I sensed something between not only you and Phi Phi but you and Bianca as well. Care to elaborate?” Michelle asked.

Adore’s eyes widened at the blunt question. Michelle smiled with a “I know what you’ve been up to” look.

Oh fuck. She knew she hadn’t been totally discreet about her and Bianca in front of the cameras, but for Michelle to pick up on something between her and Phi Phi was concerning.

“Oh girl, we’re all just friends!” Adore exclaimed.

Michelle raised an eyebrow at her. She knew some of the things that had happened between her and Bianca on tour. They were really close when they were touring together so Michelle had heard pretty much all of the shit that went on, whether she wanted to or not. There were many nights where Adore would sneak into her room and ask her for advice.

“Friends with benefits, perhaps?” Ru joked.

“Maybe with one of them.” Adore admitted shyly.

“Do tell darling!” Ru said.

“Me and Phi Phi have kinda had this little thing going on since the middle of the competition. So I’m actually seeing her later tonight.” Adore said smoothly.

She didn’t want to tarnish Bianca’s privacy with pointless gossip on a podcast. Plus, the exposure for Phi Phi would be good for her career. Better to let Phi Phi have the publicity then Bianca.

“It’s interesting because you two don’t seem very alike.” Michelle commented.

Adore was getting sick of Phi Phi being painted as the villain. Sure, she could be a bitch but she wasn’t this terrible monster everyone always seemed to make her out to be. It saddened her how after her season aired no one gave her a chance.

“We’re more alike than I think a lot of people realize. We’re both misunderstood in the drag world.” Adore shrugged.

“Well, let me tell you something. I adore you, Adore and I hope you can understand you’re very special.” Ru smiled.

They wrapped up the interview and Adore headed back to the workroom to start rehearsing her dance number. She couldn’t decide if she wanted to wear the gold trumpet dress her and Bianca had picked out, or if she wanted to save that for the finale. She still had the gold leotard that Bianca had insulted yesterday for the dance part, but she had also brought the black one from one of her music videos that she was leaning towards.

She decided she would try to choreograph her own number and figure out her wardrobe after the fact.

——–

“What was your gaggiest most favorite part about being here Miss Katya?” Alyssa asked as they all had sat down to do their makeup.

Adore had decided on the gold dress for tonight and the black leotard for the dance segment.

“Just enjoying every moment really. Not having anxiety attacks and such. Having fun and feeling sexy!” Katya laughed.

“What about you sweet thing?” Alyssa turned to Adore.

“Oh god, the whole experience has been amazing but I’d have to say when we did the dance challenge yesterday.”

Adore smiled as she patted down her foundation with setting powder.

“Oh yeah that was fucking amazing!” Katya exclaimed.

“Girl, that was my favorite too.” Alyssa agreed.

“So two blondes and a brunette huh?” Adore asked as she looked at the first set of wigs that were set out.

Adore had decided to wear her long curly black hair, while the other two had opted out for blonde.

“The carpet has to match the drapes right?” Katya joked.

“Well ya’ll, in that case, I should follow Miss Delano’s lead and pick out a brunette wig!” Alyssa exclaimed.

The queens all laughed.

“Yo, like how do you guys feel about like, the winners of our season judging us?” Adore asked.

“My judge is fucking Jinkx Monsoon bitch. I think I’ll be good.” Alyssa laughed.

“I mean; I don’t have a problem with it. We’re all friends so I don’t see them saying anything overly terrible about us.” Katya shrugged.

Great. So Adore was the only one that was nervous about this. The other queens probably didn’t just get into a huge fight with the winning queens of their seasons however. Bianca could throw shade at her like never before and not think twice about it with the way their phone call ended earlier.

“What’s got you so worried girl?” Alyssa asked as she studied Adore’s face.

“I just feel like in the judges’ eyes, I like don’t compare to Bianca. Like they look at me and go 'oh that’s her runner up’. That and me and Bianca kind of got into it this morning so I’m hoping she doesn’t throw me under the bus just because.” Adore said sadly.

“Girl you gotta stop doing that to yourself. The judges don’t think that- you do. And once you stop thinking that, you are going to blossom.” Katya said as she walked over to give Adore a hug.

“Let’s be real here, Adore. You have the biggest following out of both of us, and the biggest career. So far.” Alyssa threw in at the end.

Adore laughed.

“Bianca would never throw you under the bus girl. She loves you boo.” Alyssa reassured.

Love, that was hilarious. Bianca definitely didn’t love her. Maybe if she did they would still be together, and Courtney wouldn’t’ve even tried to kiss her.

“Sorry, I’m just being insecure.” Adore admitted.

“We all get that way baby it doesn’t matter to me.” Alyssa smiled.

They finished getting ready and went over to their clothes racks to get dressed. Adore slipped on the black leotard and some knee high boots and checked herself in the mirror last time.

She looked fucking hot, and Bianca could eat her fucking heart out at what she lost. She flipped her hair over her shoulder and headed towards the workroom.

—-

The tune to Read U Wrote You started and the top 3 walked down the runway. They were each wearing a black leotard with knee high boots, however Katya’s was sequined and Alyssa’s had silver swirls embroidered into hers.

Adore was in the middle since her verse was up first. She could see both Jinkx and Bianca eyeing her, while Violet was fixated on Katya. She thought she saw Bianca’s lips curve into a small smile, but it could’ve been in her head.

The two other queens went to the side of the stage, and the pit crew came to help Adore with her dance number. All she was really doing was a sexy strip tease sort of dance, but she knew it would drive Bianca crazy.

Meow you already know my name

You know I’m the messiest slut in the game

The number 1 fan fave of all time

I was the Season 6 runner up, and that’s the true crime.

She saw Jinkx and Violet cover their mouths as Adore winked at Bianca. Bianca was cackling and clapping loudly, it wasn’t often that Adore threw shade at her. She was living for it.

Monsoon, hurricanes I’ve been through them all.

But bitch I’m back, and I ain’t gonna stall

Couture, Gowns, Dresses that hit the floor,

If you ask why I’ll tell you this is what you came for

“Is that a sex joke about you guys?” Violet asked Jinkx and Bianca.

“I guess? I didn’t know Bianca and her had a thing though.” Jinkx teased.

“Go back to sleep, I like you better that way.” Bianca grumbled.

She had to admit, Adore’s rap was really good so far. However, all of the intimate lap dancing was starting to make her blood boil. Adore was enjoying herself way too much as she grinded on one of the Latin pit crew members.

I’m a fucking mermaid, a woman of the ocean

I can make your hips rock in slow motion

Sorry but you can’t deny that I’m a messy whore

But trust and believe mama there’s so much more

Adore shoved the same pit crew member down on a chair and started giving him a lap dance. The judges cheered and Bianca was gripping her dress as she smiled. She hated that she had lost her, now she had to watch her grind on some fake ass Fabio wanna-be.

Adore was so much more than what everyone else saw though, Bianca thought. A lot more than anyone knew too. Bianca knew Adore better than anyone in this room, inside and out.

Fuck, party, chola, that was my start

But my motherfucking voice is off the charts

I’m here to win it all, so I can buy more pizza

so sit back and watch this fucking Libra win the crown mamacita.

Bianca was laughing so hard she couldn’t breathe. Adore had killed that last part of her verse, and had looked incredibly sexy dancing and lip syncing it. Even if it pissed her off, she can’t deny that she did a good job.

Alyssa was up next, taking her place in the middle of the stage as Adore and Katya danced on each other. Bianca was fixated on how sexy Adore looked in her leotard. Adore looked up and made eye contact with her, brown eyes smoldering into hers. Bianca had opted out of wearing her contacts tonight, mostly because she ran out of time. But mostly because she knew Adore loved her eyes without them.

It’s your girl Alyssa Edwards, Texas representing

All Stars 2 is about to be ending

I’m not joking bitch, I’m gay

Me Quoting Coco? You must think I’m loco

What the fuck is going on in here on this day?!

I’ve conquered the competition, y'all other queens are deceased

What I can tell you Ru is that I’m a goddamn BEAST!

“That wig makes her look like a beast.” Bianca murmured under her breath. Jinkx slapped her arm playfully. Bianca froze at the impact. She tried not to let the memories of abuse come to the surface but it was too hard. She thought of everything Jason had done, but then realized it was getting easier to think positive thoughts instead of letting her past consume her.

“Not everyone can be singer like your boo, Bianca.” Jinkx laughed.

Bianca was still trying to shake off the memory. She finally responded after a few extra seconds.

“She’s not my 'boo’ queen.” Bianca stated.

Her arm throbbed and triggered the memory of not being good enough, of Jason beating her and hitting her. Now here she was watching someone she wanted, that she herself would never be good enough for. Adore was a star, burning brightly and Bianca felt like all she would do was bring her down.

Tongue pop tongue pop where for art thou tongue pop

My back rolls gone cuz I went and gave them the chop

Because I don’t get cute I get drop dead gorgeous

And if I’m not the winner then this shit is rigga morris

Alyssa snapped her fingers and walked back to the side of the stage. The three of the queens came together and danced with one another, prancing from each side of the stage.

“Rigga what?!” Bianca roared as she laughed at that last line.

“I think she meant like mortis.” Violet observed.

“What is going on with you and Adore?” Jinkx whispered.

“Can you shut the fuck up, there are cameras everywhere!” Bianca hissed.

“There’s obviously something!” Jinkx hissed back.

“We were a thing, now we’re not, end of story.” Bianca whispered and turned towards the stage.

“Darling, it’s never that simple.” Jinkx mumbled.

Katya came up to the middle of the stage to do her final part of the challenge.

Yekaterina Petrovna Zamolodchikova

But your dad just calls me Katya

“Oh my god!” Violet exclaimed. Bianca and the rest of the judges were laughing as well.

I’m the bright red scare with the long blonde hair

Always keep 'em coming back for more

You’re a basic ass hoe and it’s your time to go

So bitch let me show you the door

Cause it’s me whose getting laid and I’m always getting paid;

The only high class Russian whore

I’m a scorching hot mess in a skin tight dress

That’s a rash, not a herpes sore

Lenin in the streets, Dostoyevsky in the sheets

Baby, are you ready for this Cold War?

Katya Zamolodchikova

The girls danced to the beat of the song and had acquired books from some of the backup dancers. As the song finished, they tore the pages out of the books and threw them at the bottom of the stage and dropped the books on the floor.

“Oh my god! Yaaas!” Rupaul cheered as the rest of the judges clapped.

Adore was smiling from ear to ear and caught Bianca’s eye again. Her face had the look of pride written all over it. She really felt like she killed this challenge, and apparently Bianca felt it too.

“You may leave the stage to get changed into your best drag.” Ru announced.

——–

“Girl, we gotta talk.” Jinkx said as she pulled Bianca to the corner of one of the old Untucked lounges. Everyone was on a break right now as the top 3 got ready for their runway. Violet was outside talking to someone on the phone, and the rest of the judges had gone into their personal dressing rooms.

“Girl are we even supposed to be in here?” Bianca rolled her eyes as Jinkx grabbed her arm and they shut the door.

“I don’t know but it’s the only place that doesn’t have cameras! So talk!” Jinkx demanded as she crossed her arms.

“I don’t need to tell you shit!” Bianca huffed as she started to walk away.

“You love her.” Jinkx stated.

Bianca paused at the door.

“I can’t. I don’t.” Bianca whispered.

Jinkx smiled wide and jumped up and down. Bianca rolled her eyes at her. She assumed being a narcoleptic meant random bursts of energy for no apparent reason.

“What did you say first? You can’t. That doesn’t mean you don’t.” Jinkx grinned.

“Jinkx, I fucked up severely. Bottom line is that now she’s moved on.” Bianca said.

Jinkx frowned.

“Adore will never move on from you.” Jinkx said as she rolled her eyes.

“No girl. I TOLD her to go be with someone else basically. I let her go. I gotta wait until this shit plays out, if it plays out.” Bianca said.

“Awww.” Jinkx cooed.

“How is that an aww moment? I fucked up!” Bianca exclaimed.

“You really are an idiot aren’t you?” Jinkx asked.

“What the fuck do you mean bitch?”

“You think that you don’t love her, yet what you did was literally the purest form of love. You let her go because you were being selfless and wanted her to be happy.” Jinkx explained.

Bianca rolled her eyes. She hadn’t even been with Adore for a week, there is no possible way she could love her.

“What do you know about love?” Bianca grumbled.

“Well, I don’t know much. But I fall easily for people. I know when I love someone, and what you did for Adore you wouldn’t do for anyone. I don’t think I’ve ever heard you say one bad thing about Adore.” Jinkx admitted.

Bianca had never read Adore, especially not the way she would read Jinkx, Lady Bunny, Courtney, etc. What other queens classified as “reads” from Bianca, were actually truth bombs. But since she said them while she wore a wig, everyone thought she was joking.

“She’s not a moron that’s why.” Bianca finally said. She decided not to answer the other half of Jinkx’ statement and let her silence on the matter be the answer.

“We should probably leave this room now.” Jinkx awkwardly suggested. There was obviously no getting through to Bianca, she thought.

“You think?” Bianca snorted as she heard the music on the main stage start. It usually played for a few minutes before the queens walked down the runway. They left the room and rushed to their seats at the judges’ panel.

——-

“First up, we have Katya!” Ru announced.

Adore wasn’t first? That was weird, Bianca thought. It was All Stars so anything goes, she guessed.

Katya came out on the runway in a black and gold lace gown with a full skirt. It was also a high low cut. Her hair was a short shoulder length bob that was permed.

That was definitely a classic Katya choice. Bianca didn’t know her that well, but she knew her well enough to know that she was quirky enough to wear something like that.

“Black and gold eleganza!” Ru exclaimed.

“What’s she hiding underneath that skirt?” Michelle asked.

“Come through!” Violet yelled and Katya winked. She exited the runway and waved bye to the judges.

“Next up, Alyssa Edwards!” Ru called.

Alyssa came out on the runway in a long red one shoulder gown complete with ruffles down the skirt. The shoulder was completely bedazzled with red rubies and she had her hair to the side. She looked good, Bianca would give her credit for that look. It was definitely a much more polished Alyssa.

“That is beautiful.” Violet commented.

“Everything’s coming up roses!” Michelle exclaimed.

“She’s got a scarlet letter girl.” Ru laughed.

Alyssa winked at the judges and finished her walk down the runway.

“Next up Adore Delano!” Ru exclaimed.

Adore walked out on the runway, looking like a true queen in the beautiful gold gown Bianca had bought her at the store in the mall.

She had chosen to wear her shoulder length black wig with the platinum blonde pieces in it, and pair it with a bright sky blue lip. She was also wearing the same shade of blue on her pair of plastic heels. She was cinched as well, and looked breathtaking. The stage lights reflected off of her golden tulle skirt and made it look angelic.

“Incredible.” Bianca murmured.

Jinkx and Violet nodded their heads and agreed.

“Silence is golden, or in this case Adore Delano is golden.” Ru commented.

Bianca snorted. Some of the shit Ru says is so damn cheesy.

Adore smiled as she walked towards the side of the stage to do a spin. She smiled even bigger at Bianca, exposing all of her pearly white teeth. It was in that moment, that Bianca felt her heart skip a beat and her hands became clammy. She had only felt this way about one other man, and that was a very long time ago. But she knew that what she was feeling was love. It scared the living shit out of her, especially since Adore wasn’t even interested in being with her right now.

But she was in love with her. Bianca had to accept it at this point. Her pale blue lips, infectious laugh, and her unique style were mesmerizing. There would never be anyone like Adore. No one would be able to capture Bianca’s heart the way she did.

She would just have to wait for her to forgive her. She would wait forever if that were the case. But Bianca realized now that Adore was perfect for her in every way.

Adore walked back down the runway and turned to smile at the judges one last time. Her smile always seemed to take her breath away. Bianca smiled back at her, and just like that she had disappeared behind the stage.

—–

“Now ladies, we are here to give you your final critiques. Let’s start with Katya.” Ru suggested.

“I love how much of a different look this is for you. On our season, you still provided amazing looks but this is so polished.” Violet commented.

“I could live without the skirt. But other than that, I love it and couldn’t be more proud of everything you have overcome. Your part of the rap and the dance number was so amazing.” Michelle admitted.

“Thank you.” Katya nodded.

“Alyssa Edwards! Hey girl.” Ru smiled.

“Hello mama Ru.” Alyssa answered.

“This is a classic Alyssa look-but better. So polished and so refined. You know I love my pageant girl dresses and pageant girl hair. I loved the dancing in the number tonight as well.” Michelle gushed.

“I don’t know shit about fashion, but I know I love this look. You’ve come such a long way since our season, in almost every avenue so condragulations.” Jinkx laughed.

“Then we have Adore!” Ru gushed.

“Adore, this look is amazing. To see where you came from on Season 6, to now at the final episode of All Stars 2; it’s amazing the transformation you’ve made. Your rap was also very funny and very you. Yeah, I haven’t always liked your aesthetic but you really outdid yourself tonight. If I could cry, I would.” Michelle said.

Adore teared up at the comment and wiped a tear from out of the corner of her eye.

“Thank you.” Adore answered.

“Now Adore,” Bianca started.

Adore fixated her blue eyes onto Bianca’s and saw her eyes were glassy as well. She smiled softly and nodded her head, encouraging Bianca to continue.

“I am so proud of you. You look beautiful.” Bianca smiled.

When the judges turned to look at her funny for not making a witty remark, she added

“Sorry bitches, but she looks the best out of all of y'all.”

“We all know Bianca is not biased in her judgement.” Ru winked.

The queens laughed and Adore was staring at Bianca. Not even after everything that had happened, Bianca couldn’t read her. She was surprised to see she had left her blue contacts out tonight. She could see her brown eyes deepening under the stage lights, as she continued to scan Adore’s face. She smiled at her and got lost in her eyes as well. No matter what, there would always be something between the two of them. Her feelings for her would probably never go away, but she needed to explore things with someone else while Bianca found herself.

“Ladies, I have one final question. Why should you, and not your competitors be crowned the next All Star?” Ru asked.

“We’ll start with Katya.”

“I have brought you uniqueness, and talent. Not so sure about charisma, we’ll see after I’m done with this speech.”

Bianca cackled and the room erupted into laughter.

“Michelle would probably say I have nerve for wearing this dress. Which is fine. I want this so bad, and I just want to thank you for believing in me Ru.” Katya teared up.

“Of course darling. Thank you Katya.” Ru answered sweetly.

“Alyssa Edwards, you’re up!”

“Charisma. Check. Uniqueness. A plus. Nerve? Y'all are well aware of it by now. Talent? Yes gawd! I believe I deserve this title because I am one of a kind. You aren’t ever going to see another Alyssa Edwards. I’m memorable and I will do everything I can to carry on your legacy as an All Star.” Alyssa explained.

“Thank you Alyssa. Last but not least, Adore.”

Adore gulped nervously and looked at all of her peers around her. There were a lot of amazing queens in the room with her right now, she realized. She had made it to this point by herself. She had redeemed herself and shown America that she could get to the top 3 without Bianca’s help.

“I’m sorry, I’m getting like super emotional. This has been such an eye opening experience for me. I think I deserve it over my competitors because I had the most growth out of all of these talented ladies. I have shown that I have grown as an artist and as a person, and I can take that new knowledge with me and expand your platform even more Ru. Thank you for everything you have done for me, you’ve changed my life.” Adore explained teary eyed.

“Thank you Adore.” Ru said.

Bianca had gotten teary eyed watching Adore give that beautiful speech on stage. All of them were good, but hers was the best in her opinion.

“Now, I have some news.” Ru said.

The crown and scepter were sitting on a pillow over on the side of the stage. Adore and everyone else had assumed the crowning would be today, and the reunion would be in a year. Just like it was with the first season of All Stars.

“We will not be crowning anyone today. We will be doing that at our finale, drag race reunited!” Ru exclaimed.

Adore’s heart sank. So she would have to wait a year basically to find out if she was going to win the crown. She was going to have to wait no matter what, but she still would’ve liked to have been crowned today. That’s why she chose the dress she did.

“So tell me America, are you Team Adore, Team Alyssa, or Team Katya? Let me know on social media. And remember, if you can’t love yourself how in the hell you gonna love somebody else can I get an amen up in here?”

Everyone chanted Amen and the music started pumping through the set.

All Stars 2 was over. Adore had made it.

—-

Adore was the last one to get her things out of the workroom. She grabbed her suitcases full of clothes, wigs, jewelry and makeup and walked outside of the studio. It was 5 pm, the sun was starting to set and she was still in her gold gown and full makeup.

“Fancy seeing you here.”

Adore turned around to see Bianca leaning against the wall. She must’ve been waiting for her uber as well.

“Hey. Thanks for not reading me to filth.” Adore said shyly. Bianca smiled.

“You know good and well I would never read you Adore.” Bianca said as she moved to stand next to her.

“That means a lot, thank you.” Adore murmured.

Bianca smiled and put her arm around Adore.

“Ugh, you’re so tall in these heels queen. But I have to say, you made this dress look incredible.” Bianca

admired.

“I’m sorry, I’m like a giraffe!” Adore laughed. Bianca was fixated on her smile as the sunlight hit her face. She was so beautiful and so free.

“Adore?” Bianca asked.

Adore turned to look at Bianca. She was so perfect with her smooth skin and dark lips. She wished she was in a better state of mind, maybe they could’ve actually worked out.

“Yes baby?” Adore asked.

Bianca was only inches away from her at this point. Adore was frozen in time as she felt her pull her to her lips. They met softly, but then Adore closed the distance between them and pulled Bianca close to her. Their mouths moved in unison and Adore slipped her tongue in Bianca’s mouth as she grabbed her neck. Adore moaned as she felt the grab and then realized what she was doing.

“Bianca I-”

Bianca grabbed a fist full of hair and started moving up her lips up her neck. Adore moaned and lost her train of thought as Bianca closed in on her again. She felt her trailing down from her neck to her chest where she bit down and sucked, trying to leave a hickey.

“Bianca stop, I can’t.” Adore pushed Bianca off of her gently. Bianca looked at her with wide eyes. Their lipsticks were all over each other and then some, there was a lovely mix between the two shades all over Bianca’s face.

“Why not?” Bianca finally asked. Both queens were breathing heavily trying to catch their breath.

“Because! You don’t know what you want B! You tell me to leave and be free and then you’re here kissing me. It’s fucking confusing.” Adore exclaimed.

“I want you Adore. I’m stupid, I should’ve never let you go.” Bianca said trying to grab her hand. Adore shook it off.

“No. You can’t just decide when you want me B. I can’t do this. Not until you get better. Maybe you just need a break from dating. Cuz you broke my fucking heart.” Adore tearfully said.

“I never meant to break your heart Adore…” Bianca frowned. Her eyes were getting red again, she felt like crying with Adore.

“Bianca, no Roy. I have to go. Please just take care of yourself. Take a break from dating. It’ll spare yourself and whoever you’re with the heartbreak.” Adore said.

Adore’s uber had pulled up. She sighed and started getting her suitcases together to load in the trunk.

“Adore.” Bianca stated.

Adore turned around, her long dark curly hair flowing in the wind. Her makeup was ruined, lipstick was all over her face and chest and her eyeliner and mascara were nonexistent. But Bianca had never seen her look more beautiful and free.

“I love you.” Bianca said.

Adore’s eyes widened at the 3 words. She shook her head and put the last suitcase in her car.

Adore looked at Bianca one last time before she got into her uber. Her usually perfect makeup was anything but perfect right now as she stared at her.

“Goodbye, Bianca.” Adore said trying to keep her voice from cracking.

#ahahac #biadore #bianca del rio #adore delano #c*nt #rpdr fanfiction #submission #canon compliant

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dwmclean-blog · 7 years

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Month 5

1) What did you learn from the reading assignment about the field of instructional design that you were not previously aware of? Why is this important to your goal of achieving mastery and your future as an instructional designer? Your response should be 3–5 paragraphs in length Include at least three quotes from the reading assignments with in-text citations using APA-style formatting.

After reading this chapter, I am very familiar with many of the ideas presented and can add volumes to what they say. The authors have taken an overarching theme, and barely show the first few steps of the twisted path an educational idea takes within the DoD system. Three challenges that are mentioned strike a nerve as;

“Using technology wisely when technology is evolving more rapidly than the ability to accommodate change; assuming the responsibilities dictated by one’s role and relationship to the military (federal worker or contractor); designing for individual projects, which may be repurposed into other training products or delivery environments” (Bratton-Jeffery & Jeffery, 2012, p. 187).

In each of these challenges, I have faced them first hand, and have had to change course in the direction of projects to better accommodate the needs of the program and the people on the ground using the training in the fight. Our current IEDES (Improvised Explosive Device Education System) has an electronic module that mimics GM20 and PRO45 signal jammers and that is mounted in up-armored vehicles to block radio signals to trigger blasts. They produced the training modules and equipment faster than the actual units to be mounted, and when the final version of the product hit the military vehicles, it was 4 generations forward of what was being trained. Colossal amounts of time and money were wasted, as Soldiers eventually came back and told the designers how they were being used in the field, and then they put together the revisions, which became an entirely new project under a new contract. The technology moves at a pace that is not predictive with the evolving scope of the battlefield, and many times it is the Soldier that with be the best sensor and trainer. And out of everything that was made in the forefront, only the illustrations of the unit remain.

I design much of the written literature that our training center oversees with diagrams and illustrations, which is then translated into 14 different languages to help our NATO allies use the same equipment. This brings to light another of the ideas from the authors, that there is a partnership for our military and many of the nations we train, fight alongside, and supply with our weaponry and tactics. Bratton-Jeffery and Jeffery (2012) state, “Designers must recognize the cultural diversity of the clients and select training or learning solutions that can accommodate dissimilar audiences” (p. 189). For our European, Central and South American counterparts, the writing only changes in language formats and labels. For some of our Southwest Asia partners, we have to go a step further and provide cartoons to go along with our training. It seems small, but they understand the material easier reading cartoons and seeing the action in the strips than having the information in manual format.

The last issue I wish to weigh in on is one issue that will always affect the instructional designer: funding. Budgets today fluctuate, and every program can cease to exist in the military marketplace in as little as six months. What the book fails to mention is the understanding of programs of record, training directorates, and fund appropriation allocation. Without getting into the weeds of the government machine, there will always be money for training, but the government wants to get the most bang for the buck. Programs of record are the first funded projects that support main operations, and have the ability to be interconnected with other service branches, groups within a service, and international reach. This involves direct training like Apache repair or weapon systems, or a DoD wide program like the EST 2.0 (Engagement Skills Trainer) which uses a digital range to hone the skills of military members across all the branches. They fluctuate in dollars and this is important because, “Whatever funds are applied to one project may be taken from another, and the designer must be able to help the client weigh the costs or trade-offs” (Bratton-Jeffery & Jeffery, 2012, p. 189). Money is shifted from time to time, and there is a five-year cycle where the funding is revised, and long term goals and monitoring are implemented. Training directorates have pet projects that will usually be funded, but are on the yearly cycle for renewals. These projects are done usually through contact bidding, and awarded to the low bidder. Many of these projects are started, completed, and then revised by another company in another cycle. The Army’s NCO 2020 Vision and transgender training fall under these categories. Fund appropriation allocations are the shortest lived of the budget projects, and have a very short shelf life and are designed to tackle one issue very quickly. The Marine Corp is currently in a rapid development process with all of the news and focus on the Corp for the abuse of female Marines on social media. While these contracts can be lucrative, the turn-around times and deadlines are very tight, and the product has to be a flawless as possible.

I did not learn anything new from this chapter reading, but I found many ideas that I face even without being the instructional designer on multiple projects. The military is not that different from other large corporations in some of the difficulties that will be faced, but the margin for error is very slender in light of what improper training can yield. Understanding the military system is the first key to being successful in this environment where rank and structure can sometimes be the only thing holding together a fragile peace. After that, knowing how government works and operates is the second most important in order to be successful and expedient. Many ideas can die quickly if they do not have the correct route to funding, approval, and contracts. Finally, the end user is the defender of freedom and the American way. That makes them far more important, and worth the time and effort to make them the best training possible.

2) If creativity in instructional design refers to the use of special human talents and imagination in generating original ideas, how did you use your creativity to expand your work beyond the limitations imposed in this month’s design projects? Elaborate in 2–3 paragraphs. Use images or screenshots from your projects to illustrate your points.

I tried my hardest to create outside of the box, but within the limits of the assignments. My first foray was for our Instructional Design Models. I wanted to do something closer to a nature, top-down perspective with natural materials and new design illustrations. I made some that I am really proud of, and one that just missed the mark. I was unhappy with my last poster for the gradual release model. It lacked the appeal I was desiring to capture. The timeline was a success for me, as I decided to hand-code instead of use a prefab program. I took longer, but the quality was much better than I expected. I also tried a new js coding for horizontal scrolling, and I worked out the bugs in less time than it usually takes. I am really proud of my psychological theories interactive. I used some old materials and then made new composites to fit the theme. It really looked good, and on first glance it was a home run. There are some design issues upon review, but I am still proud to stand by this work.

The final project was something of a challenge for me. I do not like keynote, and I know my colleagues have heard enough about this. I really wanted a video, but I was not the project lead, but I was the art director. I had to use many different techniques to tell this story and make it seem closer to video, which is where I am really comfortable. I made a specific color palette, suggested a firm looking logo, and went to town in DVIDs to find pictures to use. I ended up using 75 percent of my own photos, as I shoot with design in mind, and they were easier to work with. When I started working in the transitions, I found the edge I was looking for to mimic film movements. I do like what I was able to create, knowing that I had to look out for the team above myself. I have the tendency to try new and more exciting things when working on schoolwork, but I stayed conventional to please everyone.

3) List at least 3 main takeaways from this course and how they may apply to your monthly milestone and long-term goals. How will you use what you have learned in this course to continue to learn and improve your work as an instructional designer?

Deadlines and circumstances are in place to push the envelope of developing work within a timeframe, and to hold us (students) accountable. I had a rough month with having to report for duty in week two, and it threw my entire schedule into an uproar. I battled back and was able to complete all of the work, even if outside the timeframe. Clients will not always be forgiving, so professors may not be as well. A good lesson learned.

Theories and models are nice, but it is always about how they are applied. I learned a few new theories that are used in the instructional design world, or at least their names, as these models are in place at work. I like the ideas they present, and I even tried to use one as I was working on two projects. As an individual, they did not work as well, because I was lacking a client and a quality control process. I was not asking myself the right questions, and that gave me poor answers. Understanding where I am working from and what I need to do, I can use the models better as part of a team.

I have rarely had the opportunity to be the client. In most of my situations, I am the one taking orders from the client, and then I work hard to make a product. If I have a need, I usually figure it out for myself before coming to someone else to solve a problem. The project gave me the opportunity to be the client, and I see how some of the problems happen from the beginning stages of a project. There were so many other questions I feel I should have been asked, and when I reviewed what they were proposing, I did not agree at first. I really tried to put myself in the mind of one of the G3 guys sitting across the table from a contractor describing my training problem and what we needed to fix it. I will take this experience when I sit across the table next month, as I will have to begin working on the next recruiting tool of the Army. I want to meet the goals, and I know how to ask better questions to get the communication straight from the beginning.

Bratton-Jeffery, M.F. & Jeffery, A. B. (2012). Instructional design opportunities in military education and training environments. In R. A. Reiser, & J. V. Dempsey (Eds.), Trends and issues in instructional design and technology (3rd ed.) (pp. 187-196). Boston, MA: Pearson

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