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ur1vr · 10 months

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❤️‍🩹.

hobie brown x fem! reader

tw/cw: angsty, character death (not sayin who), hobie cryinOMFG THIS HURTS TO TYPE, medium description of blood, suicidal thoughts, suicide, sad shit EVERYWHERE…I APOLOGIZE, mentions of sharp objects.

listen to so my darling-rachel chinouriri, or la lune- billie marten <3 (both fucking hurt🫡)

you’re tired. you tired of all these fucking canon events. They tire you so much. You cry in stress in your room every night, everything piles up onto you. Miguel and his harsh comments, your loved ones passing away, you failing school, your parents hating you, it just never stops. You just wish it could end, and you’ve tried. pills, the sharpened knife on your kitchen counter, trying to kill yourself in your bathtub, letting the cold water go up your nose and into your ears. you’ve tried, but nothing ever worked.

One night you thought of trying again. As you were getting up to leave your room a portal opened, but you didn’t even bother turning around. “you okay love?” the familiar voice echoed through your room. You nodded slowly, but you knew he wasn’t gonna take that as an answer. He steps in front of you, looking at you with concern and worry. “ya know you can talk to me, right? Im here if you need me.” you looked at him with glassy eyes, tears already falling. “hey hey hey whats going on love?” you tried your best to make words, despite your shaky voice. “hobie i cant- im so like..fucking tired. im tired of a-all this bullshit on me and im at my breaking point where i might just k-“ “do not say that.” hobie says sternly, but with care.

You slowly realize that his eyes are glassy too, making you break down. “we need you here, I need you here. I need you here more than anyone else on the team, m’kay?” he says while looking at you, tears threatening to spill. “Im sorry.” you say. “what are you sorry about? what do you mean?” hobies breathing slowly turning uneven. He doesn’t wanna know, but he feels like he does. Then it clicks. “oh my god no.” “nonononono” he frantically checks on you then he rolls up your sleeves. fuck. He looks at you with…an emotion you can’t decipher well, which is making you nauseous. “you said you stopped” at this point you were full on sobbing at his words. “why did you lie? i could’ve helped yo-“ you push him away for a moment, confused.

“What do you mean could’ve..?” hobie takes a deep breath. “I meant it as why didn’t you tell me while you we-“ “WHAT DO YOU MEAN WHILE??” your sadness turned into anger. “SO YOUR TELLING ME YOU CANT HELP ME ANYMO-“

“NO I CANT. I CANT HELP YOU. YOU WANNA KNOW WHY? BECAUSE ITS GOTTEN TO A POINT WHERE NOT EVEN A REGULAR PERSON LIKE ME CAN HELP. YOU NEED PROFESSIONAL HELP, CANT YOU SEE? LOOK AT YOUR ARMS LOVE AND Y-YOUR-“ hobie staggers down a bit crying and heavily breathing. “hobie..please.” “hobie look at me, talk to me please.” Hobie puts his head in hands and your heart shatters to the floor. “cmere.” he suddenly says with a scratchy voice. You immediately go to him and hug him like never before, and he hugs back just as tightly, kissing the side of your head still crying. “Im so so s-sorry hobie..please forgive me.” You plead as if he would disappear at any moment.

*time skip🫡*

you and hobie are cuddled on your bed, but you can’t sleep. You stare at your ceiling, only thinking of him. The tears that welled in his eyes, the sadness in his voice, the guilt. It made you want to cry even harder, wondering why you could’ve just fucking stopped. You turn your head to look at him, tears streaming down your face. Hes sound asleep next to you, but you just wanna wonder what hes thinking of. Does he hate you now? It scrambled through your mind. and you thought of something again, but ended up whispering it. “im so sorry hobie, i cant do this, it wont stop at all.” you kiss his forehead tearfully and get up. you find a piece of paper laying at your desk, looking up, you see pictures and polaroids of you both smiling and laughing. A picture of your first date. The kiss at the firework show. You guys at the park. you sniff as you grab a pen and start scribbling down: “im so sorry hobes, i wish i could’ve stayed longer my love. Thank you for everything, i love you so much my little spider-punk.”

You slowly get up and place the paper where you were laying down. you look at your loving boyfriend one last time, before entering the kitchen. You end up finding the knife. “He tried hiding it…” you say quietly crying. You raise the knife to your wrist, targeting your vein roughly, and the rest went from a blur to pitch black. Hobie wakes up in the middle of the night and feels an empty space on the bed. He frantically jumps and looks around the room and finds the paper. He reads it, and tears start flowing like a waterfall down his face. He immediately stands up and yells your name, trying to find you around the house…and when he finds you, its heart breaking. He finds you unconscious on the cold floor, blood slightly seeping from your arm. “nonono please PLEASE.” He yells as he picks you up, lifting your head first. “look at me baby-look at me please, please love don’t die on me my love please” he says while sobbing, trying to find any sign of life in your face.

but he finds none.

#hobie x reader #hobie astv #hobie brown #sad as fuck #i apologize #spiderman across the spiderverse #hobie angst #Spotify #angst #spider punk

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douieyoung · 2 months

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perpetuity ;; kim doyoung

-- "it's hard working without someone like you, it's hard without you."

@ intro.

kdy x reader kdy as Doyoung A. Kendro reader as April U. Yang -> substitute your own name if you prefer! I don't like using [y/n] or [name] ^^

@ desc.

something seems to have changed in the mundane life of two dull coworkers, April U. Yang and Doyoung A. Kendro who always seem to be down each other's throats.

@ soundtrack

tadhana oo

@ small notes

small au about finding each other.. in each other! non-idol au, work au, names + some aspects of the story have slight fil/chi inspo pining and jealousy rar plz bare with typos, unorganized writing, mistakes im zo zory huhuhu first fic :] wc: 3.2k

@ perpetuity

The loud clacks of your neighbouring cubicle’s keyboard might send you over the edge, the insane clicks of their mouse and tongue. What on God’s green earth do you have to be working on to be that loud?

“Keep it down.” you had stood up to look over the cubicle of your co-worker adjacent to you.

“Wear earphones.” The head of black hair looked back at you, taking off his wired earbuds out of his left ear, promptly going back to his work. Loudly clacking at his keyboard and obnoxiously clicking at his mouse. You’d slouched back on your chair, tired and unwilling to argue.

Doyoung Kendro, his head of black hair went back to typing whatever bullshit he was working on. Personally, you’ll never get how management always gave him the long and tedious reports to make, and you’d have to check his shitty writing. You literally went to college to write, and you're stuck in an office job having to tutor what seemed like basic English through document notes. Feeling fed up was an understatement. Everywhere, men around you prosper and succeed in ways you feel as if undeserving.

“Oh, and Chase asked you to stay after work.” Doyoung had stood up to peek over your cubicle to inform you. Chase, the manager of our department, he’s a great man overall but he seemed incompetent and stupid.

“For what?” You swept the bang out of your face to look up at him.

“Hmm.. Dunno, maybe my complaints against you are finally working.” Bitch. That was the only word that seemed to come to mind whenever he spoke to you.

“Hm? Well, maybe he’s congratulating me for knowing the difference between you’re and your.” Admittedly, a weak rebuttal, but it was still something.

“Aw, congrats on your first award ever.” He snarked, sitting back down after.

“Make sure you’re using the right your.”

You crossed your arms in annoyance. Everyone in the office had praised Doyoung, especially the young transferee girls. They all think he’s so handsome and competent, a swift worker with a knack in writing and design. It’s all so annoying, he’s always so nice back to them too. Granted, you were mean to him when you first met, but you would never have thought it would have spiralled into a rivalry of sorts.

His irritating demeanor and infuriating voice would send you into a spiral soon.

5 PM had come and you’d clocked out ready to leave. You walk past the receptionist table and say your goodbye to the lady behind the table, Summer.

“Clocked out, April?” Summer had always had a bright smile, despite working late hours. Like a robot.

“Yup! See you tomorrow, Summer.” You’d waved your goodbyes, until a familiar figure had stopped you.

“Chase’s office, April.” A stern voice had sliced through the light air, Doyoung.

You’d given your loudest groan as he’d have the widest grin on his face. Doyoung proceeded to rummage through the candy bowl on the receptionist's desk for a mint and to possibly woo Summer. Pathetic and desperate.

Your opinion hadn’t changed about Chase after that short meeting, all he had done was change your hours to a later time so you didn’t have to open the office before the janitors did. At least he’s thoughtful.

After a silent and relaxing car ride, you’d made it back to your apartment complex. You were excited to go home again, no one to bicker with, and a soon to be warm dinner waiting in your refrigerator. The elevator doors were closing, you had rushed and pressed the button to go up as quickly as possible. Thankfully you had made it in time.

As you were about to click “7”, you found it had already been entered. Convenient, you didn’t have to touch a button a hundred of people already touched, you doubted they even cleaned them as you found chewed bubble gum on one of the buttons that remained there for a week or so.

“Stalker.” A familiar voice behind you rang in your ears, your shoulders dropped in annoyance and your eyes rolled behind your head. Doyoung.

“The hell? You live here?” If there is a God, he’ll say no.

“Yeah, probably before you.” There is no God. But instead a petty coworker who ruins all your days.

“Are you a child, why does that even matter?”

“I must’ve pissed off a god in my past life to always be in close proximity to you.”

All you could mutter was a defeated sigh, too tired to argue with someone as obnoxious as him. As soon as the elevator stopped, you both arrived on the 7th floor. You both walked parallel to each other, awkwardly. A few glances were tossed around, trying to assess what was going on. You had stopped at apartment 707, him at 708.

You looked to your right, all you could do was groan exhaustedly.

“See you tomorrow neighbour!” Doyoung said, trying his best to get on your nerves, he was succeeding.

As soon as you entered your home, you showered and fell fast asleep. Your dinner could wait till morning. Maybe your thoughts on Chase have grown to be a bit more positive, the extra 30 minutes of sleep really helped. It was a good morning.

As you were starting your car, something blocked the sun on your left hand window. Light knocks and a pleading smile greeted you as soon as you lowered the window. Doyoung.

“What do you want?” Your cheery morning had come to an end so soon.

“Can I ride with you? Please.” He had practically had eyes as big as bowling balls from how hard he was pleading.

“How do you even know I’m going to work?”

“It’s not like you have dates waiting for you.”

“You aren’t getting a ride anymore.” You proceeded to roll up your window but his hand stopped it from rolling all the way.

“Wait wait wait!-- I apologize.”

“You owe me. Remember that.”

“Fine..” He got in the passenger seat and said his thank yous.

“Why do you even need a ride?” You questioned.

“My car wouldn’t start, something with my battery I presume.”

“Ohh.. sucks i guess.”

“Yeah, take a turn here it’s faster.”

“No why would–” Your sentence was cut off by him leaning closer to turn on your blinker and steer the car for you. “Are you insane?” If you weren’t half awake and had more control over the wheel, you would most have definitely crashed into a pole or something. Almost livid at him, you tried finding the words to yell at him but nothing came out.

“I’m telling you it’s faster. Now go right.” He was as calm as ever. Even after that insanely stupid stunt.

You stopped the car on the side of the road to collect your thoughts. “Don’t ever pull that shit again, if this car crashes you’re paying every penny for repairs. This is my car, okay? I have control, I’m the driver.”

“I wouldn’t have done it if you weren’t driving at snail speed into the busiest road known to man. Chase changed your hours and now your time blind, we have like 7 minutes left before being late. I hope you know that.”

“Oh fuck.” You checked the time and he was right. But this was an unfamiliar road, all you could do was listen to him.

The both of you had arrived and clocked in with seconds to spare. He boasted in your face how listening to his directions was the smart move, you couldn’t help but be annoyed, but a bit grateful too.

This routine had been going on for 2 weeks, in return, he’d pay a chunk of your gas and bring you coffee from the office building’s cafe. Honestly, you didn’t mind him carpooling with you if he did all of that.

“Could you be a little nicer?” Doyoung stood up from his cubicle to peek his head over to yours.

“Huh?” Confused, you look up.

“What do you mean huh? Look at your revisions on my report. Try again, you’re doing too much just say because, pick up an english textbook. I knew you were mean but does it ever come to mind that you're being too precarious with what you say? I know I’m not the world’s greatest writer but at least be helpful.”

“Oh.. about that..” You were flushed with embarrassment. Admittedly, those weren’t your best revisions! You did them at 1 in the morning after a ton of work and it seemed like the exhaustion got to you. “I’m sorry! C’mon don’t be mad. Look at the time I sent those comments, I was tired and couldn’t stay awake.”

“Re-do them, or your name is being removed from the report.” His gaze was strong, and his tone grim.

The car ride back to your shared apartment building was quiet and awkward. You apologized again, but he had brushed it off and said it was fine. It clearly wasn’t. He was quiet the whole day, the only time we spoke was when I said thank you to him for fetching you your coffee. He had been the most annoying person I’d met but his absence was distressing.

“I’m sorry again.” You said while stopping the car. “If you want, I can help you with your writing.”

“You’d do that?” His ears perked up.

“Mhm, if I do it’s less work on my end too.” You smiled, finally conversing with him brought you comfort.

This became a new routine for the two of you, an after-work tutor on his english writing. To add, his car had been fixed, but some new excuse would get magically pulled out from his mouth to ride with you. You didn’t mind.

“Morning, April!” Summer waved at me with a smile as I clocked in.

“Mornin’ Summer.” I greet her back, rummaging through the candy bowl on her desk for a lollipop or a sour treat.

“Quick question.. What are you to Kendro?”

“Kendro? As in Doyoung? Hm.” You bickered with him daily, but now it’s faded into jokes. It’s faded into something more than fighting, friendship, fondness? “We’re friends I guess?” You say I guess but in all honesty you felt as if he’s the closest person you know there, literally and figuratively.

“You aren’t seeing each other?” You could see the visible shock on her face.

“Nope.” You reply, deadpanned.

“Single?”

“Doyou–?”

“The both of you!” Her sudden panic could tell you it was about Doyoung.

“The both of us are single, I gotta get to work now.”

You exchanged goodbyes and checked the time. You and your entire office had a meeting that day, it was a popular cosmetics brand looking for endorsement. You head into the meeting room to find that Doyoung has saved you a seat.

“I got you your coffee.” Doyoung, when did he get this sweet?

“Thanks, hey, earlier downstairs Summer asked if you were single. I mean she tried to play it off as if she was asking if both of us were single but it was obviously about you.”

“Seriously? Summer? Me?” He had the widest grin, Joker-like, even.

“Mhm.” You aren’t sure, but a part of you was sad. Considering the fact he always tried to flirt with her whenever he got candy. Were those all just excuses to see her? Possibly.

“Do you think she’s into me?” He was as giddy as a kid getting a huge toy.

“Don’t know. Don't care that much.” Jealousy?

“Jealous.” Correct! It’s not that you wanted to form this relationship with Doyoung, you had already found so many distasteful quirks in him. It’s the routine you had formed with him, you’re scared it’ll leave as fast as it came.

That night, you thought over all the time you spent with Doyoung. What did he feel during? Did he do it just for convenience? A whirlwind of emotions takes over you, like a man in a storm. You didn’t feel stable, like you could collapse any moment despite lying down already. Doyoung, the one I talk to and think of most, disappearing so quickly. I would have never thought.

“April.”

“Doyoung?”

“I’ll take a taxi today, don’t wait for me.”

“Huh, why?” Confused, where is this coming from? “I drove us here though, buying me gas is cheaper than a taxi, ya’know.”

“Yes but,” He looked stressed, scratching his nape. “Summer..”

“Summer?”

“She thinks we’re dating, even when you denied it.”

Both of us, a hopeless case.

“Well, did you deny it?” Your tone becoming more worried, why? You never rooted for them.

“I stumbled over my words.” He’s getting increasingly more weary and uneasy. “And everyone else thinks we’re a thing. Even people we don’t know, April.”

“Oh and is that hell for you?” You’d slipped up, what you’d felt about Doyoung had slipped from your mouth.

“What? No.. It’s just that– Why would you want people to believe in something false? Summer’s just really pretty and–” You spaced out and stopped listening there. He went on about his small crush on the gorgeous receptionist that increased tenfold when he found out she asked if he was single. “--and I don’t see why you're unfazed, you hated me to death.”

“Hated. Past tense. I have to clock out now.” You walk out on him, something in your chest is growing, something painful and sickening. Your head is throbbing, your eyes are watering. Why did you care, why did you care for him? Your hand clutching your chest isn’t enough to numb what you were feeling. “I never want to talk to that jerk again.” You muttered, in annoyance.

But in reality, what had he done wrong? You kept this thought deep behind your head, your pettiness could never deem you wrong. You were just jealous. The days that followed that conversation were empty and lifeless. The most communication the two of you had were small notes on your coffees and small messages asking if you were okay on colorful post-it notes.

A week had gone by slower than usual, emptier than usual.

“April, it’s been a week since you’ve last spoken to me.” He had you cornered. “I know I haven’t been the kindest but listen, please?” You turned to him, wide eyed. His pleads were such a weakness. “I don’t want our days as coworkers to end badly, okay? I want to make up.”

“End badly, what do you mean end?” If you weren’t listening then, you were now.

“Boss, Lady Naomi is asking me to transfer district buildings. It’s for a higher pay and I get to do more graphic design rather than newsletters and journals. I’m sorry April, I’m almost 100% certain about this promotion.” There was silence for a moment. “We’ll still be neighbours though!” His best attempt to clear the dense air.

“Let’s talk at my apartment, please.” Your voice was shaky and uneasy, you could feel your eyes becoming blurry.

You had waited on your apartment’s sofa where you had all your tutor sessions with him. The knock on your door sent you out of your dissociation. You greeted him with heavy eyes and sat both of you down.

“Sorry Doyou–” He grabbed both your hands and built up confidence in his chest.

“I think I have feelings for you.” He stared you down with his eyes, piercing right through you. He didn’t even let you reply. “April, maybe it’s the time we scheduled together right here on this sofa, or the car rides, or the fights we’ve had that turned into jokes, I don’t know where it started either. But I am certain, it’s you who I like.” He had recited that whole love letter without fail, with a straight face too.

“I–...” You were speechless, overwhelmed with all this information.

“What do you feel about me, April.”

“Doyoung this is too m–” Constantly getting cut off, this man had built confidence the size of monuments.

“Kiss me.”

“What?” What else is he gonna say? This whole conversation is throwing stuff at me I’d never expected, especially from him.

“Kiss me, and see if you feel anything.” He leaned closer, you could practically feel him breathing against you.

You comply. He cupped your cheeks and tilted his head so perfectly, his cushions for lips pressed against yours so gently. It wasn’t a quick peck, he used his other hand to hold your waist and go in for more. You rested your hand on his shoulder, making its way down to his chest, you pressed against him and pulled away. The tips of your ears are flushed beyond belief, your face felt warmer than ever.

“..What did you feel?” He stuttered slightly.

“I like you. I like you so much.” All you could see after saying that was the most childlike grin coming from him. He cups your cheeks, his hands almost the size of face. “The job transfer… Where are they transferring you to?”

“Kinda far, from building 12 to 21.” He says while moving one of his hands to yours and holding it gently.

“Goodluck, Doyoung.”

“Chase let me have a trial run though, I can work there for a week and see if I like it or not.”

“He let you do that? How lenient.”

“Mhm.” He gave you another wide smile, hiding the fact he had begged for it beforehand.

The week without Doyoung felt like you were constantly waiting for something that wasn’t coming. Those days where a cup of coffee would appear on your desk, or those little post-it notes from him, or those car rides where he'd talk about nothing for 20 minutes straight without fail were missing. On the last day of his trial run, he knocked on your door. Doyoung.

“I didn’t take the job.”

“What?” You said while leading him inside, it was a job that paid more and a job where he got to practise his passion. You didn’t mind taking weeks to get used to his absence.

“I didn’t take the job.” He repeated, but with more emphasis.

“I heard you, but why? It would’ve been great for you, Doyoung. Better pay and opportunities, I don't get it.”

“It’s hard working without someone like you. It’s hard without you.”

“You missed me, huh?”

“Mhm.. The routine you’ve got me used to, there's no time to get you coffee and no where to put small reminders for you..”

“Doyoung..” You said as you sat him down on your sofa.

“Mhm.” He bumped his forehead with yours, giving you a kiss. You returned it.

Perpetuity, something constant and everlasting. That’s what he had become, he was a constant in your life. Doyoung A. Kendro, a perpetual source of what you need everyday. Soon enough, you both were able to leave that fluorescent hell of an office and do your own thing. In 3 years, you had become a writer under a major news agency, and Doyoung had become a graphic designer for a game company. Though you are no longer co workers, you had more time for each other outside of work, and even if you two weren’t neighbours anymore, roommates sound better anyways.

Doyoung, I will adore you in perpetuity.

#doyoung #nct #nct127 #nctu #kim doyoung #doyoung x reader

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orionsangel86 · 1 year

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I don't often ever really talk about these things but like, does anyone else have MAJOR franchise fatigue?

Marvel, Star Wars, Disney, HARRY FUCKING POTTER

I am so done with them all.

I'm gonna rant about Harry Potter for a bit. Fair warning.

I got tired of Harry Potter well over 10 years ago. The final movies hadn't even been released and because I have the disadvantage of living in bloody England Harry Potter bullshit has been EVERYWHERE for TWO FUCKING DECADES. I remember my friend dragging me to the studio tour because she got tickets for her bday. I like movie BTS stuff but my god the amount of BUY THIS BUY THAT that gets shoved in your face drove me mad. Proud to say that other than the OG books I read when I was a teenager I have never owned a single bit of HP merchandise in my LIFE. It took my irl friends bullying me to finally go on pottermore and get sorted into a Hogwarts house when I was 27. TWENTYSEVEN. I resisted for years!! I don't even care. They sat me down and made me log on to that stupid website and take the stupid quiz whilst I raised an eyebrow the whole time and tried to smile and pretend it was fun. After all, I'm not actually a total bitch and they are my friends and were enjoying themselves and I didn't wanna upset them. But why do I need to know if I'm a hufflepuff or whatever? Oh thats right, so I can buy the appropriate MERCHANDISE.

You know real witches make their wands? They go out and find a tree and ask the tree if they can take a branch, you have to give the tree something back and say a blessing. You can add crystals or ribbon or whatever you want but a wand is NOT something you buy in a bloody shop. I hate that HP made kids think that.

Why would anyone wanna buy a game about a nearly 3 decade old franchise thats been shoved in all our faces practically our whole lives (if you are a millennial or younger). Im not a gamer anyway so I don't get the appeal but even without all the transphobia and antisemitism involved the whole concept is extremely tiresome to me.

Can we please be done with Harry Potter now??? I dont wanna see it. I dont wanna see anything about it. I didnt give a fuck when I was in my early twenties and I dont give a fuck now in my late thirties its never been any fucking good. Its a rip off of Lord of the rings crossed with the writing of Terry Pratchet and Neil Gaiman anyway.

For years I felt awkward even mentioning to people that I didnt like Harry Potter, like it was a cardinal sin or something. I'm glad people are finally seeing it for what it truly it, even though I wish it didnt take the lives and rights of transpeople to get to this point. Its disgusting that its still so damn popular even WITH JKRs blatant transphobia. I hope the boycotts work. Trans and Jewish people you have my love and support, for both your sakes and so that bloody franchise can stop being shoved in my face everytime I leave the bloody house. Im glad people are finally picking it apart and realising how problematic it was. Things I think made me uncomfortable about it before I really understood the depth of reasons why.

I have been obsessed with witchcraft and paganism since I was a child. I was a weird kid. Harry Potter turned something I was passionate about in a deeply personal way into a consumerist nightmare. Witch became synonymous with it, spells, charms, magic, I'm honestly surprised JKR didnt try to copyright the terms.

Look I dont often talk about social issues. My tumblr is my escape from the injustices of the world and I take my mental health very seriously. But I support trans and jewish people in boycotting this game.

I care about trans rights, about the rights of LGBTQA+ people. The rise of antisemitism AGAIN deeply disturbs me. People truly never learn from history do they? I try to do my bit where I can offline. I have signed petitions, I have donated to causes where I have found them and I am most definitely gonna do my damndest to get everyone I know to vote the transphobic (and otherwise generally evil in every way) Tory government OUT at the next election.

This rant may come across a bit selfish. It is tbh. I am fucking glad Harry Potter isnt popular anymore. Though outside of online communities particularly in the UK its still huge and everywhere. I wish we could wipe it off the face of the Earth.

I am fed up of all these franchises though. If I never have to sit through another Marvel movie it'll be a happy day. If I never have to hear the fucking Star Wars theme again I'll celebrate, if I never have to read about another Disney remake again Ill be so relieved (although I do get some satisfaction reading about them flopping). This post capitalism hellscape we exist in is fucking exhausting.

What we really need to do with these franchises though is pull an Avatar on them (the blue people not the cool cartoon). We need to stop talking about them. Stop letting them infect our collective cultural consciousness. The only way to get them out of our faces is to actually let them die. We did it right with Fantastic Beasts. We can do it again. Remember that in capitalism, even negative press is good press, and the more the press focuses on the controversies and discourse, the more the name of the game is getting into the minds of consumers, especially those that dont give a fuck about trans rights or antisemitism.

I dont know where it ends, but my god I hope it HAS an end. Something surely has got to give right? Anyways. I dunno if there was a point to this rant other than im fed up of a lot of things and feeling particularly grumpy today, but anyways. Boycott Harry Potter and all things related to it.

Support trans rights. Trans women are women. Trans men are men. Enough of this bullshit already.

#anti harry potter #boycott hogwarts legacy #trans rights #personal #sometimes i need to rant #and today was one of those days

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just-rogi · 9 months

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I just had a follow up with my dr after my blood work came back and she told me I need to get down to 135-140 lbs. 130 ideally. My BP is phenomenal my lipids and cholesterol too but I should cut out everything that isn’t water, and eat smaller portions and run more- god I get a drinkie once in a while as a treat but now I’m losing that too. Man I want to scream… its literally not fair bc everyone else can eat whatever they fucking want and be skinny, I’m literally 100% vegan eating exclusively rice lentils beans and LOTS of green vegetables. Like that’s fuckjng it Im not a French fry and Oreo vegan (tho that’s fine too it’s just not my regular diet). I eat intuitively and that means I usually never finish my meal or clean my plate so I don’t over eat. My ‘special girl treat’ is fucking fresh fruit. I TREAT myself by buying like cherries… I don’t drink soda (if I do it’s a v rare Diet Coke), I don’t drink alcohol, I don’t drink juice, I drink unsweetened iced green tea and honey or coconut water… I don’t even eat three meals a fucking day- I get like one or two bc I don’t get hungry until 4:00pm!! I don’t even eat desert super regularly because there just isn’t a lot of vegan options that taste good!!! I don’t own a car so I literally have to walk everywhere and would walk to work every day- rain or shine- 30 minutes there and back!! It’s not fucking fair. I’m tired. I’m angry. What the FUCK man I don’t know what to do! My dr doubled down during my follow up that I NEED to lose weight but I don’t know what more I can do!! Why do I have to eat less of my already super limited diet but my roommate can come home from work eat three hotdogs and Mac and cheese and wine and be healthy!! It feels like I’m fighting a fucking uphill battle constantly!! Like fuckjng hell!! I don’t know what to fucking do??? Like I literally don’t know what more I can cut out! It’s just not fucking fair I’m doing everything right! I’m also literally a size small in all my clothes!! I don’t know where I’d even lose 25 lbs from!! It’s just such fucking bullshit that I can be so goddamn on top of my fucking health and go to the doctor and get told I’m obese but other 21 year olds are eating pizza and drinking and are fine fuck me this sucks everything Sucks and I can’t even cry in my room with a tub of icecream about it bc I’m a fuckjng vegan!!! FUCK!! Like I’m NOT going back to counting calories I cannot do that again I won’t let myself- I’m mentally healthy FINALLY not throwing that away- but I literally don’t fucking Know how much less I can eat!! I hate it! I hate it so much!!! Why can’t I be mentally healthy and physically healthy at the same time! Why the duck is it that the second I recover from years of unhealthy restriction I’m told to lose weight!! Why can’t I do anything in moderation Jesus fuck it’s not fuckjng fair!!! Man!! Weight doesn’t matter and it’s not an indication of morality but I’ve fought SO hard to be healthy and eat a balanced diet WHY CANT I WIN ONE FUCKJNG THING!! Why do I have to be either obese or literally starving myself god fuck I was DONE with goal weights and calorie counting but for the second appointment in a row I was told I’m obese now and NEED to lose weight and will have a follow up in three months. There’s just no winning. I just want to eat my stupid rice and vegetables and beans and drink my stupid green tea and water and mind my business and be 130 lbs but that’s too fucking much to ask for I fuckjng guess FUCK great fuckjng time to start the fucking 1989 era again Jesus Christ man I’m just so frustrated especially when I see my roomates laughing and having fun big meals- one of my male roomates eats bacon Mac and cheese or half a meat pizza and that’s dinner and he’s fine! And I try so hard not to be jealous of people who can put anything in their bodies and be the bmi their doctor told them to be but GOD it’s SO hard to NOT feel shame and frustration after my appointments when I’m told point blank that I’m obese and need to drop 25 lbs I’m just fucking tired man

#tw food #tw weight #tw weight mention #tw weighloss

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chainsawseesaw · 2 years

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So I've been kinda tired this weekend, duh, school just started and whatnot, so instead of being productive I've been kinda scrolling through social media a lot, and for some fucking reason since I've come out as aro I've been getting more like fucking lovey dovey stupid romance bullshit on my fyp, and it just, it makes me so upset. Im trying to get away from my thoughts and not interact with whats upsetting me, but I keep getting reminded of it and I hate it. Why does the world have to be so love-centric, there's other things to this god-awful planet. And yeah, I like a good love story, who doesn't, and im not trying to shit on people who are genuinely happy but fuck man I just don't care or want to see it rn, im grieving something im never going to be able to have and seeing you happy fucking destroys me. Im just so tired of it.

Everyone gets to be happy and find someone to share that happiness with them, and like yeah, I have friends, but they all have significant others, someone who's always going to rank higher than me, and I know I shouldn't be jealous, I should be happy for them but its just so hard for me.

Love is everywhere, romance is everything, and i just will simply never understand because there's just something wrong with me. Every song is about love, every show has a romantic subplot, every book has a story of great longing, every poem, every painting, every moment, every goddamn sunset, and im so tired of it, im so fucking tired of it. I want that so bad, and ill just never get to. People are always going to be able to be happy together, to kiss and watch the stars and exist as a unit, and im never gonna be able to fucking understand.

Im gonna talk about sex now too because I've been out in the gray area for that longer than I have romance, im simply never going to understand, I've always been so dense in that area, I probably always will be. Im glad I dont have to pretend to like things I don't, and im glad I've figured this out so young but fuck man. As I said before, every song is about sex apparently, every little thing can be made into a joke, everything is always gonna be someone's something. I wish I could feel what everyone else is inevitability going to, but I just won't, I never fucking have.

It digs at me so deep, knowing that everything I've said along those viens was never true, that im never going to be able to say something like that and be honest? I don't know whats wrong with me, I just feel so broken

Romance, desire, love, its like sand slipping through my fingers, I can almost touch it but its gone before I can properly feel it, but even so its embedding itself into my very wrinkles cracks and crevices. I can never outrun it because people are always going to experience it and I'm just going to have to sit and smile and know that im never going to be able to have that

#i just wish i wasnt aroace #it hurts #i try so hard to be prideful #and to try and like myself #it just doesnt work #im so tired of being broken #asexual #aromantic #aromantism #aroace

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cherry-flavoured-dreams · 5 months

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For the fucking love of God I'm trying to do my university concept art homework and Im trying to find illustrations and concept art to use examples and inspiration for my work and I'M SO TIRED of seeing AI art everywhere. I'm so tired of checking an entire artists portfolio to make sure they're real, I kid you not I was almost convinced an artist I was about to reference in my work was real but nope a singluar picture of a bear with 3 claws on one hand and 7 on the other gave it away. I had to go through about 40 pictures analysing each one to make sure I'm safe and I'm glad I did check every single one. I'm not allowed to include AI stuff in my university work or else we get a fail. I'm fed up with being worried I'm gonna fail because some lazy uncreative people are tapping away words at their laptop and stealing art from others to create machine generated bullshit. Learn how to draw and stop whining about it being too hard or you're not creative enough. "but I just can't, it's so hard!" now imagine how we fucking feel after all these years of practice and passion only to see you people defending AI That took seconds. I don't give a shit if your uncreative ass took hours to write a prompt (That's actually so sad if that's the case btw, you could of drawn something with your own hand and pencil) you're the reason we are going towards a dystopian future. You don't see the harm? OK, so why aren't you listening to the thousands of people protesting and telling you it's harming them? You keep feeding it. DO YOU NOT SEE THAT YOU'RE FEEDING THE MACHINE. its going to keep learning and before you know it, it's going to deep fake black mail, it's going to dedpfake p*rn of you or a family member or a daughter or a friend. It's going to be such a dangerous weapon that we keep feeding because we're lazy. It's going to destroy. Why do we live in a world where us humans are doing the shitty low wage jobs and the robots are painting and writing stories for us? They can't even feel passion or creativity. We do. Because we are alive. I'm so done with the way we are heading and I can't even do anything about it because I'm just some irrelevant 18 year old girl in a random town trying her hardest to make a comic that no one will probably read anyway. But if they do, I will forever be grateful.

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violetnotez · 3 years

Note

heyy!! i love your work and reading them rlly makes me feel better :")

do you take emergency reqs? i havent been sleeping well lately (staying up till 5am in the morning) and also been getting reoccuring bad dreams more recently,, so now im kinda scared to sleep although i should- :(

may i req hcs of how megumi, inumaki (if you write for him) and gojo would comfort their s/o or just help them sleep better in general? i hope this isn't too much,, thanks again and i hope you have a great week ahead <3

-🌸

Hey bb! Omg yes I’ll totally write this for you, I know how crappy it is to not get sleep 🥺💕

⤷S/O WHO CANT SLEEP + BAD DREAMS | JJK

characters: megumi, inumaki, gojo

⚠️warnings: a few curse words

MEGUMI FUSHIGURO➭ Megumi would honestly be very worried. He wouldn’t show it too much on his face, (because of how tsundere he acts) but he has a heart full of gold and he worries about you a lot, more than he likes to admit. So when he sees the eye bags under your eyes growing throughout the week, he knows something is wrong. He won’t asks many questions, wanting you to come to him in your time to tell him what your going through. He’ll be very protective over you, insisting you should sit out of training or whisper to his classmates to take it easy on you, you’re not doing so well today. Once you finally come to him one night, a nightmare forcing you to tell him everything in hopes of getting some comfort, he ushers you inside his room without even a second thought. You guys talk for a while, Megumi listening to all of your worries and troubles from the past week. He isn’t very sure what to do to make you feel better, but he goes to one thing he knows always brings him comfort. He summons a few of his spirit bunnies, the little white fur balls hopping all over his room. It brings a smile to your face, as the rabbits always had a love towards you (probabaly because you are always feeding them little snacks), and a few of them snuggle into your lap. You and Megumi continue to talk, but this time about anything and everything as you both pet the little bunnies to sleep.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

TOGE INUMAKI ➭ Toge is clingy as hell, and when his s/o isn’t feeling their greatest, he just knows it (it’s like psychic at this point.) The first few nights of sleep that are restless he confronts you gently about it, his hand holding yours reassuringly as he gave you a worried expression. He touches your eyes, closing them as if to say “Are you sleeping?” You giggle at the gesture, but not wanting to worry him, you lie and say your fine. (Remember when I said he was psychic about this stuff?) Seriously though, he won’t have any of it, because he already knows something is up. He furrows his brow, defiantly saying “Tuna,” (basically, in his one way he’s calling out bullshit). He grabs your hand, and will stomp his way into his room, keeping the light dark as he gets a an old childhood movie he knows you like on his laptop and cuddling you into his body. He just wants you to be comfortable and get at least an hour or two of sleep, and if he needs to be there to make you feel safe, he’s more than willing. He pets your hair, and when he notices your eyes seeming to get heavy, or your breathing get deeper, he whispers “Sleep”, and you slump gently against him. He doesn’t feel the greatest using his curse technique on people he loves, but if it’s to help you feel better, he will do it in a heartbeat.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

GOJO SATORU ➭ This man child, I swear to god. He’s probably the best and worst person to tell about your sleep issues, because he’s going to take that as a all night party. When you tell him you aren’t sleeping so well, his “master plan” is to tire you out so much that you fall into the best sleep of your life (really, it’s just an excuse to go to a new bakery he found with you). He plans out your whole night, and you two go everywhere, just trying new foods, new experiences...and it honestly was a lot of fun. Except this man is so tiring- it’s like he’s zapping all the little energy you have to fuel his own. Once he knows you’re becoming very sluggish, he just grins like a little kid, insisting he carries you back to your room (you can’t fight him, he’s gonna do it). Once you get back to your room, he doesn’t leave, wanting to make sure you get a good night’s rest like he promised. He does everything he can- putting on weird ASMR videos, insisting you wear his blindfold like an eye mask, even insisting wearing one of his shirts will make you feel more comfortable (that one was just to see you wear his clothes). You eventually just knock out, because he’s way too energetic to keep up with. If you do wake up from a nightmare, he’s the best person to have around though. He doesn’t judge, cause he’s had a few nightmares himself (“it comes with the job”, he says), but he will just make you laugh with all his dumb comments and antics. He will get you water, snacks, a movie, whatever you need to get your mind off of it. And he won’t leave, even if you insist you feel bad he’s taking care of you-he wouldn’t ever let you go through that alone <3

Masterlist | Kofi | Request a Fic | Commission Info

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chaos-family-scp-au · 2 years

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happy valentines day :]

~~~~~~~~~~

bright: im a god

lyon, sighing: you yelled "shut up" at a thunderstorm and it just happened to dissipate. it was merely a coincidence, you have no power.

lia, sleep deprived: shhhh he's a god

~~~~~~~~~~

green: if you ever get in trouble, im gonna be like a lawyer to you, ok?

ora: yeah ok

*later*

graves: ora, sit in the chair. you're in trouble.

green, whispering: deny everything

ora: that isn't a chair.

~~~~~~~~~~

L: the world is a cruel place. everywhere i go i see death and destruction

graves: maybe because you're the one causing it?

~~~~~~~~~~

kaylen: im great today! i feel positive, i feel creative, i feel motivated

charles, two hours later: please avoid kaylens office for the rest of the day. he's come crashing down as the caffeine has left his system, and im about the only person he can cope with seeing right now

~~~~~~~~~~

bright: can we–

graves: no

bright: we should–

graves: no

~~~~~~~~~~

lia: you spent all your money on..this?

aris, putting tiny raincoats on ducklings: they live outside, they need this.

~~~~~~~~~~

bright: sleepy is so much cuter than tired. everyone should start saying sleepy instead of tired

lyon: im sleepy of your bullshit

~~~~~~~~~~

bright: melchor isnt talking to me

graves: enjoy it while it lasts

~~~~~~~~~~

lia: it's two am and i just witnessed bright and kaylen drinking three iced coffees mixed with energy drinks each

graves: that's a weird way of saying we're all in immediate danger

~~~~~~~~~~

beta: take the day off from being the bigger person and choose violence. you deserve it.

~~~~~~~~~~

graves: any questions?

L: is the s or c silent in the word scent?

graves: i meant about bloodtree

~~~~~~~~~~

graves: what?

lyon: i told them they weren't allowed to see you because you were still recovering from your injury, and the only way they could stay in the room is if they were injured.

graves: and?

lyon: they punched each other in the face. green has a heavy concussion and broken wing, orange has a lighter concussion along with a broken nose

graves:

lyon:

graves:

graves: well i admire their dedication.

~~~~~~~~~~

kaylen: im what the kids call really exhausted

kaylen: im just so tired

~~~~~~~~~~

*that one time the infirmary was turned into a restaurant*

mochi: the recipe says to beat three eggs

takeover: at what, hand to hand combat?

mochi: must be, cenn banned weapons from the kitchen, remember?

~~~~~~~~~~

melchor: why are you acting like this?

L: oh, im not acting, im really like this.

~~~~~~~~~~

melchor: how many rules can you break in one day?

ash: well let's see, what time is it?

~~~~~~~~~~

beta: yes, i make a lot of bad decisions that put me in danger

sal: but?

beta: no, that's it.

~~~~~~~~~~

bright: are you implying that im a troublemaker?

graves: of course not

graves: im blatantly stating it

~~~~~~~~~~

graves, looking at the kill richard squad: you guys are all idiots, did you know that?

ash: in our defense, yes.

takeover: it's true, we did know that.

~~~~~~~~~~

takeover: why are you guys standing on chairs

mochi: the floor is lava

ash: chair standing party

L: quality check

takeover:

takeover: ok where's the spider

~~~~~~~~~~

takeover, looking at sleeping melchor: bitch looks so peaceful

ash, uncapping a sharpie: and vulnerable

~~~~~~~~~~

takeover: rip to everyone killed by the gods for their hubris, but im different. and better. maybe even better than the gods.

~~~~~~~~~~

bright: im a responsible adult!

graves: *raises an eyebrow*

bright: okay fair. but im an adult!

graves: *shakes head*

bright: well, legally im an adult, mentally im not

~~~~~~~~~~

green: i don't think we can mansplain, manipulate or malewife our way out of it this time

ora, cracking xyr knuckles: manslaughter it is

~~~~~~~~~~

ash: what happens if you press the gas and the break at the same time?

mochi: obviously the car takes a screenshot

graves: how are you two still alive

~~~~~~~~~~

@countdown-til-sanders-take-over @manedwolves-chaosfam @when-are-you-coming-back-steve @psychedelicships-chaos @little-chaos-bitch @unlawful-lawyers-chaos @orange-side-please-appear @hihello-what-is-chaos-doing

#incorrect quotes #long post #spider mention #murder mention #injury mention #food mention

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ladecena · 3 years

Photo

MY BRIGHTEST STAR🌌🌠

May 14,2020

11:15 pm

There are 45 minutes before my birthday. I got out of bed, holding my phone, because I couldn’t sleep no matter what I did.

I slowly opened the door and tiptoed out of my bed, taking care not to let it creak. Everyone in the house is still sleeping, so I can’t make any noises that would wake them up. Since my throats were dry and I needed to remain hydrated, I went to the kitchen to get a glass of water. After all, I can’t be dehydrated because I’m supposed to be hydrated all the time.

I walked out of the house wearing my oversized T-shirt and night shorts, leaving my glass on the counter. Since there were some torches, the whole subdivision was quiet and dim. The sky was lovely, but the boy who had just entered with his silver bicycle was even more so. I told myself, “Shut up, all boys are gorgeous.”

“Are you ready?” Miguel stated as he brushed his long, silky golden hair back with his lovely fingers. I grinned and walked over to my pink bicycle in the garage. “Where is your gear?”

“Where is your gear?” I questioned as well after noticing that he had not brought his. He squinted and raised one of his thick brows. “Don’t worry, I’ll be fine. Especially because you’re here with me.

His lips curled into an endearing grin, exposing his charming dimples. I got on my bike and pedaled down the road first, hoping he’d be close behind.

The cool night breeze caressed my face and caused my hair to fly, making me happy. I took a left and later realized Miguel was standing right next to me. He hasn’t changed since I first saw him with his hair flying and his aesthetic dark eyes. He is still the boy I loved and admired, still admire, and will still genuinely love.

11:30 pm

“Don’t worry, you’ll be fine.” Just don’t breath—“

“Do you want me to die horribly?” When my eyes accidentally went down, I exclaimed. I screamed and turned away, my eyes closed. Miguel sighed and his hands rested on my shoulders, which helped me relax a little. Only a little bit. I’m in a panic, crap.

“What I mean is, don’t breathe too quickly; instead, breathe slowly. Exhale slowly after taking a deep breath, then repeat. I’m telling you this because I don’t want you to die, okay?” He said calmly, which made me feel bad for screaming at him while he was simply trying to help me from panicking.

I followed his instructions and, to my surprise, it succeeded. When Miguel wrapped his handkerchief around my knee to cover the cut, I slowly opened my eyes and yelped in the quietest way possible. When he kissed it after tying it, I bit my lip and felt my face flush. He got up and extended his hand to me, which I gladly accepted.

“Are you all right now?”

“Thank you very much, Miguel.” I smiled, and he smiled even more. God, I love that face.

“Oh, if you weren’t so stubborn, you wouldn’t have gotten hurt.” He said it with a little frown on his face, which made me laugh because he’s so sweet when he’s upset.

“If you hadn’t been there, I would have passed out in the middle of the road right now, but I’m still standing and breathing.” As I smiled, his frown vanished, and all he did was shake his head before walking to get his bike.

“You’re stubborn as hell. As he grasped the handlebars of his bike, he uttered. “Instead, let’s go for a stroll.”

“If I’m right, give me 500 pesos.” Your favorite shirt right now is the blackpink t-shirt I gave you.” Miguel muttered something and smirked as he looked at me and the path we were walking on.

“Wrong my favorite shirt is the other black pink t-shirt which I bought last Saturday. “I confidently replied and smirked back at him. Aw, you don’t love me anymore?” he pouted and gave me that cute puppy look. My weakness.

“oh my gosh, stop that. You look like an idiot.” Yes I’m a great liar.

“ugh, darn it.” He huffed and continued walking, which made me chuckled because of his cuteness.

It became quiet after. Enjoying the peaceful and satisfying cold wind with each other’s company was already enough.

I know in my heart that he has a problem but he didn’t want to share it with me and I respect his decision.

“ Has the thought of leaving me ever cross your mind?” I asked out of nowhere to cut the silence while we’re walking down the silent road with our bikes.

“Yep.” I pouted and glared at him immediately when he said but he just laughed. That hurt right into my heart. “ What, if I am be pooping, you wanna watch?”

“Gross, of course not.” I cringed which made him laugh harder. His laugh is annoying but also cute but its pissing me off but I still love it.

“How about you? Ever thought of leaving this handsome boy?” he raised his eyebrows up and down while staring at me, waiting for my answer.

“I don’t wanna promise that I won’t because we never know what will happen in the future but I assure you that no matter what happens, even if the worlds screwed up, we’re screwed up, I will always stay with you.” Miguel stopped walking so I did too and looked at him. He smiled at me before starting to walk again.

His smile didn’t reach his eyes.

11:45 pm

“Don’t go yet.” I whined quietly while softly pulling the sleeve of his hoodie. I know that its late and he might be tired but I wanna be selfish even just for now.

“Alright then, my princess.” Miguel smiled and pulled my hand going inside our house silently. Miguel being Miguel, he didn’t make the slightest noise even in closing closing the door. It was dark but with Miguel’s hand holding mine, I know that I shouldn’t be afraid.

When we reach my bedroom, he gently pushed me inside and slowly pushed the door behind him while his sexy dark eyes were staring into my soul, dominating me. He took little steps going towards me, not cutting eye contact, and as if I’m frozen, I stood still staring back into his beautiful dark grey eyes until I could feel and smell his strawberry scented breath.

“Let’s go stargaze even if I know to myself that gazing at you is better.” He huskily uttered before smiling and pulling my hand to go out the window. He assisted me to climb up the roof carefully before he followed.

He gently guided me to a spot between his legs where I could sit comfortably. As his arms wrapped around me and his big hands devoured my tiny hands, I laid my back on his chest.

Nothing beats sitting on the roof with the guy you want to spend the rest of your life with, gazing at thousands of sparkling stars in the midnight sky, which isn’t quite midnight yet, but let’s call it that anyway.

“Did you know that the sun is a star?” Miguel said as he rested his chin on my left shoulder. Our eyes glued on the sky full of stars above us.

“uh-huh.”

“Personally, I think that stars don’t appear only at night because if it only appears in the darkness, the isn’t it unfair that it doesn’t appear during bright days?” he said in a serious expression which made me laugh a bit.

“That doesn’t make any sense. And the sun is a star because science shit.” I replied which made him laugh as well.

“Yeah I know, I didn’t know what to say so I just wasted my saliva for bullshit.” He said while chuckling because of his darkness. What he said didn’t really make sense but he’s still cute so never mind.

“but let me tell you something, my princess.” He sat properly so I faced him to give all of my attention.

“if all the stars disappears, that doesn’t mean that its over. Darkness is everywhere already. No, don’t forget that the moon is still there, there to light up the darkness. And it lights up the most. So don’t ever think that you’re alone and your life is pure darkness just because the stars disappears.” He smiled for a while before continuing.

“the stars will appear again. But they may not be the same stars from before again.”

11:55 pm

When I got tired of watching the stars above the sky. I faced Miguel.

Miguel had the same dark grey eyes. The same dark grey eyes I used to always stare at since when I was six. He had the same small nose. The same small nose I used to always poke when we were toddlers since it was cute. He had the same chubby and soft cheeks. The same cheeks I used to always squish whenever I’m ecstatic, annoyed, sad, or normal. He had the same sexy pinkish lips. The first same sexy pinkish lips I kissed when I was ten. He had the same long golden hair. The same long golden hair I used to braid or play with when im bored though I always envy his hair since its straight and silky more as hell than mine. And lastly, he had the same effect on me.

Only realizing it now, his face was only an inch away from mine. His deep breaths made me look hotter.

“Advance Happy Birthday, I love you my princess.” Miguel said.

I slowly shut my eyes as tears started forming in my eyes. Seconds have passed and sobs started to come out. I slowly opened my eyes to look at the time.

12:00 AM

May 15, 2021

“It was all a dream” I told myself.

Miguel died because of the car accident. If only I hadn’t been selfish and let him go home that night, maybe he’s still with me right now celebrating my birthday.

It’s been exactly a year since my star vanished.

It’s just unfair that among billions of stars out there, he’s the one chosen to be vanished.

I held onto the shirt he gave me a year ago on my birthday while crying hard. It will never not be painful as hell.

His smile, his eyes, his dimples, his long golden hair, my Miguel that I will never get to see anymore.

“Wherever you are right now, I hope you’re happy.” I sobbed while looking above the sky full of stars. “I don’t do promises but I’m doing it now. I promise that I will continue living the nights with different stars. Only for you, baby. I miss you so much.

- meng✨

June 09, 2021

#dream #inspiration #short story #love cinema movie movies art entertainment life fantasy story #story

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moonlit-imagines · 4 years

Text

Headcanons for being best friends with Donna and Kory

Donna Troy/Kory Anders x reader

warnings:

a/n: sam!!!! sending love!!! 💖💖 do i remember anything about s2? unlikely but lets see how far i go 😌

prompt: @myriadimagines: “HEY LACEY do you mind if i request a titans headcanon for being best friends with donna and kory? thank you so much and i hope you have an amazing day!!”

you were a former titan, still an active vigilante tho!!

after the titans disbanded, you disappeared for a while to do your own thing

as time went on, you missed your teammates, so you gave donna a call

she was out of the hero-biz as of then but that didn’t mean she didn’t wanna see you!!

wasn’t long before you moved into her apartment, you two missed being roommates tbh

“pajama night?”

*gasp* “PAJAMA NIGHT!”

you changed up your game a bit, donna was like your P.I., giving you intel on whatever she may come across

you were the brawn of the operation, getting shit done where you could

it was surreal seeing dick again, but nevertheless, you were glad to see another familiar face

“wow, the gang is back together again”

doing some more vigilante work with donna and him, felt like the good old times

until you three had to haul ass to go intervene in some crazy, inter-dimensional bullshit

oh oh oh! this is where you meet kory!

she wasn’t very nice when you met her but she definitely made up for it later on

especially after she regained her memories

there wasn’t much time here to become all buddy-buddy, but after all the chaos and all that

“so, miss anders, care to join me and donna in our own little crusade?”

“it’d be my pleasure”

you, donna, and kory went on your own little missions and grew to absolutely adore kory

i mean, what was not to love about her? absolute badass but same amout of sweetheart

“guess what day it is!” -you

“tuesday?” -kory

*gasp* “TACO TUESDAY!!!” -donna

kory loved learning about the two of you

and you guys loved hearing any bit of information about kory’s past

donna and kory were legendary compared to yourself, but they always made sure you all felt like equals

i mean, seriously. kory is an alien, donna was trained on themyscira. you just put on a suit and ran around the city

“donna! kori! donna! kori!”

“yes, y/n?”

“you guys are the best”

casually leaning on each other after pulling all-night missions

“you tired?”

“what makes you say that?” *yawning*

“right...”

i sincerely think one of you starts humming a song while patrolling and the other starts tapping along and someone else starts singing and its just a beautiful experience

70s-era music is kory’s favorite, but you try to introduce her to a wider variety

telling old stories about yourselves and people you’ve encountered over the years

“listen, donna was wonder woman’s sidekick and i’ve gotta say: that is the coolest gig ever. i only met diana once but i froze, i couldn’t believe she was talking to me. i didn’t even freeze when i met batman! fuckin’ BATMAN! it just goes to show how cool wonder woman is”

“yeah, y/n didn’t even freeze when they met me”

“really, donna? nooo, i didn’t freeze because i loved you right away!!!”

“good save”

kory told stories of tamaran that always left you wanting more

“yeah, my sister was...not the greatest if im being honest”

“dude, if i ever meet her, i’ll fight her for you”

“i appreciate that but i’m pretty sure she’d kill you in an instant”

*sipping your can of pop and muttering* “im still gonna do it”

gettin’ shimmer and gettin’ tacos and gettin’ confuzzled bc kory vanished, but she called and let you know she’d be fine and back soon

going back to the ol’ titans tower

brought some bad memories with it tbh

“havent been here in a while”

“same”

being SURROUNDED BY CHILDREN

“oh my god. they’re everywhere”

donna and you bunking together 😌

“i miss kory”

“me too, y/n...me too”

midnight snacks

kory coming back!

“oh, thank god, kory!!! i missed you so much”

you jumped into her arms

“yeah, y/n wouldn’t shut up about you”

“aw, well i missed you guys, too”

supporting each other through these stressful times

there wasn’t much time to chillax but you tried

you’d “reserve” the living room for you and your lovely gals

but rachel was allowed to sit with you, anyone else and you’d kick them out

“we love rachel so she can stay”

(im definitely getting this timeline wrong bc im forgetting a lot of things and trying to read the fandom page and i cant remember shit????)

comforting donna after garth is brought up again

she really needed some hugs

deathstroke made his comeback and it was not cool at all not at all it actually sucked and then kory was comforting you

“hey, none of this is your fault, y/n. i’m here for you, we all are”

(forgetting every single plot point ah hah hah)

okay so everything was fine for a minute, people were saved, teammates were saved, villains were defeated...almost too good to be true

and then donna made her sacrifice to save dawn and you couldn’t even process it, it happened so fast

“donna, no!”

you fell next to her body and cried, rachel on one side and kory on the other

she didn’t deserve this and you would’ve given anything to save her

but the damage was done and you had to accept it

you kept kory close, she wouldn’t have it any other way

you decided to stick with the titans for a while, you didn’t want to go back to your shared apartment just yet

donna and kory would always be your best friends 🥺

taglist: @cullens-stuff // @lotsoffandomrecs //

156 notes · View notes

lordseochangbin · 4 years

Text

seo changbin x reader— enemies to lovers, diss track au! fluff & angst

a/n: ok there were some points where i felt iffy but i LOVE this idea and omg i love this sm im 🥺

in your seventeen years of living, you never enjoyed the number of comparisons your parents made between you and the boy next door.

he was just a few years older than you were, always mocking you for still being underaged and leaving you to spit out bullshit such as “im 18!! if you count the time i spent in my mother’s womb!”

it’s like he purposely did it to rile you up, but of course you got him back everytime. changbin being the most “popular music major” at school made him very much secretive and since you two knew each other from a young age, you were his weakness. you held his secrets, his past. that’s what made you powerful in this relationship stirred up from hate and jealously.

that, and your ability to compose amazing music.

it was another day at the school’s music studio. the professor understood you and changbin had some sort of misunderstanding so it was a priority that you two never shared a room, but mistakes happen i suppose.

you sat on the black leather chair, rocking it back and forth as you found yourself lost in your thoughts. “what should i write this song about...” you thought to yourself, chewing a pen cap between your lips.

you replayed the music over and over again. it was beautifully composed and you were quite impressed with yourself, however it didn’t hit the voices nor the raps of any music majors so you decided to call it a draft.

your cursor lingered towards the “draft” button before the door could burst open, revealing a boy in his usual black tee, sweats and shoes.

“get out” you said with a stern voice, eyes focused on the screen as you could already tell who it was

“geez... okay okay. what are you working on dumbass?” he said, resting his hands on the headrest of your seat as you stared at the screen

“it’s none of your business changbin” you remarked, clicking the draft button before the track could auto-play

you quickly rushed to pause the song before changbin could grab your wrists, staring at the blank page who’s title matched the title of the track

“some shitty music this is” he smirked, slamming the pause button so hard it made you jump in your seat

“try listening to your own music” you said, shoving him to the side and hiding your lyric book

changbin grabbed the desk behind him to regain balance, hurrying over to you as he grabbed the book in your hand

“what’s this? hmm? your love songs about me?” he smirked

your pretend-gagged in your mouth, grabbing the book from his hand and slapping his arm with it.

“stop bothering me you prick!”

“stop bothering me you prick!! mehhh” he mocked, his voice in a high pitched tone as winced his eyes at you.

everyday went like this. was he destined to annoy you? destined to be the only fault in your life with no mercy. he just enjoyed the way you scrunched your nose, the way you punched his stomach, the way you kicked his shin. god, he loved making you angry and he loved seeing you struggle.

changbin dodged your book this time before you could wack him, and assuming he was done with his daily business you went back to your seat. forgetting everything that happened seconds ago before a sudden reminder could be heard tingling down your ear

“you know y/n, why can’t you just like me?” he asked, his finger teasingly caressing the side of your cheek

“every girl wants me, yet you... i just don’t get you” he continued, pointing at you to show how much “you stood out”

you rolled your eyes, not having any of it at the moment. but you had to admit it, your heart was beating out of your chest and something in you was telling you to go for it. he’s right there, just one inch away from his lips and you could-

“exactly, take a hint seo changbin. i can’t, and i won’t ever like you” you spat in his face, forcing him to seperate his hands from your heated cheeks.

“alright, alright chill” he said in a somewhat teasing voice, “but you know you want to be mine. ill make sure of it”

“me? with your cocky ass? bet”

“it’s not like i want to be with you either y/n” he said, leaning against the desk as you looked at you for any reaction. you were as still as a statue however, and this didn’t go unnoticed by changbin. in fact, he was a bit worried when he didn’t hear a response from you.

you simply blinked, your eyes drawn to the floor as his words transcript itself into your head. he never wanted to be with you, he never wanted to be with you.

“hey, y/n you good?” he said, nudging your shoulder a bit

you woke up from your sudden day dream before turning back to your computer and ignoring his presence as you always did. but changbin wasn’t finished, he pressed the play button to your recent track.

“stop it, i can’t figure out the lyrics to this yet” you said. changbin raised an eyebrow at your plain stated response before he could smirk

“ill help you out with that”

changbin waits for the beat to replay, his eyes looking directly into yours as he twirls your chair so you’re looking at nothing more than the “rap god of music school spearb”. your breath increases as you are forced to look at him in his place, where he paced back and forth thinking of lyrics before he could spit something out.

your eyes watched as changbin took over each beat, his hands moving around to fit syllables with notes and his eyes deadlocked on you to make sure you took down every word. yes, it was offensive. yes, it was beyond talented. yes, did he so fucking hot as he brushed his fingers through his hair, his eyes now on the roof as he tried to think of lyrics to continue. but what hit you the hardest was when he pointed out how cold-hearted you were in the middle of your rap.

to be clear, he said “hey y/n youre cold hearted, like elsa farted. ‘let it go’ when you’re around me,your period hasn’t started” (A/N: I AM SO SORRY SKSK I WANTED TO HAVE FUN WITH THIS LMFAOO)

these lyrics made you laugh at first, but when you realized what he meant it remained drilled in your head. as the song went on his lyrics become more and more serious, more and more meaningful. you sat back in your seat, not even paying attention to what he was saying. you just watched him. his every moment. you eyed him from top to bottom as your heart beat started to pace a little faster.

changbin poured his heart out in this moment. he wanted to let you know of these mixed feelings he was having. i mean, geez y/n, why were you always such a bitch to him? for no fucking reason? that’s why he decided to ignore his own feelings and bully you for now on. you hated him anyways. but as the song went on, he was tired of rapping about your imperfections (that he tried so hard to make up). he wanted to confess his love in words you could understand, and now that he had your attention he focused on doing just that. only until the music could stop.

“y/n... y/n? you pressed the pause button”

you turned around to find your elbow on the space bar. “oh.. oh! my bad i’m... oh what am i saying” you muttered to yourself before turning to him.

“get out!!” you said, standing up to push him out the door.

“okay, okay” changbin put both hands up in surrender

you shut the door in a hurry, your back slamming against it as you clutched onto your shirt. there was a burning pain there, it felt like your chest was collapsing upon itself. you never felt like this before. was it the fact that he was rapping about you? was it the insults? did it offend you THAT much? you rolled your eyes, your back slowly sliding down until your body met the floor as you finally met a steady heartbeat.

“it’s cause i like you, fucking idiot. and you call me cold-hearted?” you said, thinking back on his lyrics.

“we’ll see about that”

————-

a smug expression fit your mood as you walked down the halls, each step pulling you closer to lordseochangbin music school’s courtyard. changbin and his “rap” friends typically hung out around there and girls crowded them in awe of their looks.

your dark eye circles drooped down low, you spent all night in distress. did he not like you? he liked you? his words hurt your petty heart, to say the least. you wanted to come up with excuses to answer this burning feeling. what was this feeling?

it came down to feeling confused, amazed, happy, heartbroken. they all seemed jumbled up and all you could think about was throwing it into words. all night you focused on your new diss track dedicated to the one and only seo changbin. you wanted to show him you weren’t just bitching around when you said you hated him. you meant it. in all honesty you loved him, and all he did was bully you around for it.

god, to call you a bitch like that? that hit different. you pushed through the mob of girls, standing confidently before changbin as he looked up from his laptop to see you.

“y/n...” he said, unconsciously handing his laptop to jisung to give you his attention. his hands rested on his knees before he could stand up, the crowd tensing around you

“god, here goes the typical y/n and changbin stand-off. power of the two rap lyrical writers” someone said behind you.

yes it was a typical scene, you and changbin causing scenes everywhere around campus. but this one felt different. this scene felt like it would leave a rough patch.

“changbin, just wanted to return what you gave me last night” the vagueness in your words threw everyone off, including changbin’s friends

“what? a good night lyrics to complete your song?” he smirked, taking a daring step towards you.

the close proximity made you stutter a bit before you could take out your laptop from your backpack and expose a rough draft, something you found on changbin’s drive

“wait.. isn’t that my draft music?” he asked, his eyes glaring at the screen before turning back to you

“exactly, now im gonna give you a piece of your own medicine”

--------------

you slinged your backpack over your shoulder and you walked away from the crowd. god, that was embarrassing. it was different to say the least, the crowd cheered you on but their support didn’t matter. what mattered the most was the way changbin’s eyes glared at you the whole time. he didn’t bother to make out the words you were saying but he knew exactly what you were doing.

one thing changbin couldn’t get himself to realize was your motive? why were you literally spitting bars at his face?

he stared blankly as you left thinking not only did you attack his height, his rap style, and his skills-- you attacked his heart.

---------------

the next day he never came around to your studio. to ensure you weren’t sharing this time you checked the schedule for the booked room everyday but you never found his name. you knew he was around because of the gossip about him and his new single with his mates, but you never saw him on campus.

when summertime came around you were excited to come home as well, hoping to see the same boy next door but you were more than heartbroken to find out the seo family had moved out. his absence was a daily reminder of the mistake you made. you should’ve confessed way sooner.

---------------

a year passed before changbin could find himself backstage, his palms sweaty from the nervousness that had been piling over him these past few days. it was a small debut, but he knew every one of his fans were anticipating this.

you, on the other hand, had no idea what was going down until a group of girls jumped ahead of you in the lunch line.

“hey y/n! you didn’t hear about 3racha’s debut? i guess changbin was debuting first after all” the girl giggled. your mouth dropped at the sudden statement.

“changbin.. he’s..he’s debuting?!”

“yeah! his stage is tonight!” the other girl replied, “do you wanna join? i have an extra ticket”

you grabbed the palm of the girl’s hands, giving it a squeeze in gratitude. “wow, thank you. thank you dude”

“you welcome” the two girls smiled before you could exchange numbers.

today was the special day, huh? you thought to yourself. it was the day he always teased you about, the typical “just wait till i’m famous, then you’ll like me!” he always bragged

you laughed like an idiot just thinking about it.

------------

later that day you decided to pass some time on twitter, searching changbin in the small text box in order to get any information on his debut. luckily, the tag was filled with posts and articles about 3racha. you learned a couple things from this which explained so much about the past year. his disappearance: he was transdered into a popular company called jyp, which was the same company he was debuting in. the company building was also 200 miles away, which may have explained why the seo family had moved. it seemed all too coincidental however, but only left one spot blank in your unfilled answer sheet. why did he never say goodbye? (a/n: bruh “never say goodbye” is the lyrics to the stray kids ost that changbin helped write... anyways continue)

you jumped into a taxi with the two girls, all bubbly and giggly as you chit-chatted inside the car. the girls ensured you wore an outfit that was a bit out of your comfort zone, a red-shimmery bodycon dress that hugged your waist tight. your figure shined the most in this outfit, and earned the top topic in your conversation with the girls as you talked about the usual “where and how” you got your outfit.

200 miles, it took about two hours you supposed at the steady speed the taxi-driver went in. once two hours passed you couldn’t help but to ditch the conversation, a pit in your stomach slowly building as you anticipated changbin’s presence. what if he forgot about you? you thought about the question for a bit before concluding it would be best if he did forget about you.

you entered the club, finding a table nearby the stage. as the three of you got seated you noticed a face peek out behind the curtains. if it wasn’t the look on his face, god that look on his face. you could see his shocked expression as he looked at you eye-to-eye. he never expected to see you here, in fact it was the last thing that crossed his mind but instead of making him more nervous your presence made him feel more at ease, more at home.

three performances went by in a breeze, the crowd cheering on at certain parts that impressed even you. the lyrics were fun, having you jumping in your seat as swaying back and forth to the songs. but before you knew it the solo stages came on, changbin’s was up first.

the second he got on the stage his eyes scanned the crowd before they landed on you once again. a smug smirk fitted his face as the song started, chan and jisung looking over at changbin for the message that inspired the song lyrics.

“this one’s dedicated to the girl that broke my heart. there’s more to the story of course, and now that i think about it.. i think i should probably change my words up a bit” he laughed, taking chan and jisung by surprise before they could find you in the crowd as well.

“this song... it’s to the girl i loved.. and i hated the most. thank you for being there for me, whether you wanted to or not. thank you for.. dealing with my bullshit. for being my motivation and inspiration. you mean so much more than you’ll ever know, this one’s to you”

------

three minutes later you found yourself crying in the bathroom corner. you couldn’t tell if it was tears of joy or sadness. small sniffles was all changbin heard in the tiny room before he could knock on the door

“y/n, can i come in?”

“you would still come in even if i said no” you replied in the midst of tears, trying to wipe some off with your hand

“you’re right” changbin replied as he allowed the door to open by itself. he ran to you in a heartbeat, getting you on your feet and wiping the small droplets on your cheeks

“now why is my babygirl crying right now?” he laughed, leaning down to lock eyes with you

“did you really have to address me as babygirl?! seriously, you pervert!” you slapped his chest as you continued crying “i’m only three years younger, THREE” you pointed three fingers out as he softly grabbed your wrists, pulling you closer

“ it was all i could think of in the moment, i’m sorry love”

“i mean if i was there to help you-”

“are we seriously going to argue right now” changbin interrupted, resting his forehead against yours. there it was. your heart doing that funky thing again. god your brain cells were just squirming in disgust.. this feeling of excitement, love, yuck! it was disgusting! you thought. but deep down, you really loved seo changbin. with every breath you could never take back the fact that you loved seo changbin.

“no...i just missed you so much” you mumbled, a stutter in the midst as you could feel changbin’s hot breath with the close proximity

“then will you shut up and let me kiss you now? please?” he whispered, his hands cupping your cheeks before you could nod in approval

“did you brush your te-”

“i said shut up” changbin said with a smile before your lips could meet with his. you immediately fell into his hands, yours wrapping around his broad shoulders as he picked you up by your waist. your thighs met the cold stone counter-top of the bathroom, changbin fitting in between your legs as you pulled him in for another kiss. changbin leaned back to meet your eyes again, “you know how long i’ve been waiting to do that?” he gasped, trying to catch his breath

“im sure you can write a song about it” you chuckled

changbin looked at the mirror behind you before turning around to find his bags on the floor. “actually....”

he leaned down to find his laptop inside. “i kinda already did?”

#i use commas way too much #changbin #seo changbin #stray kids #3racha #seo changbin x reader #seo changbin fluff #changbin fluff #seo changbin soft hours #changbin angst #seo changbin angst #bang chan #bang chan stray kids #han jisung #jisung stray kids

291 notes · View notes

blkmxrvel · 5 years

Text

To Kree or Not To Kree

Pairing: Carol Danvers x Romanoff!Reader; Natasha Romanoff x LittleSister!Reader; Natasha Romanoff x Wanda Maximoff (brief but there!)

Words: 2222

Request: May I please request a Carol Danvers x fem!reader where the reader is really affectionate, but Carol isn’t really cuddly because she’s not used to physical contact? Like, the reader really always wants to kiss/hug Carol but doesn’t cuz she doesn’t want to make Carol uncomfortable? But when Carol initates small bits of affection, like hand holding, the reader gets really happy, and it kinda makes Carol guilty cuz C feels like she doesn’t give R enough love. Sorry if this is confusing I❤u!!!

Summary: You want touch, Carol doesn’t. Carol loves you, you love Carol more. Natasha stands up for her little sister.

Warnings: Carol is a bit of an asshole but means no harm, Natasha is a #mamabear. Angst-ish, but fluffy nonetheless.

A/N: what????? madi managed to post a request???? bitch ik! im sorry it’s taken me so long I was in a bit of a rut there! but iam back and I really like this one. I sorta kinda tried a new writing style? If yall like it lmk. Enjoy!

Everyone says opposites attract, and with you and Carol, it’s quite obvious.

You’re the kind of person who thrives off of human contact and affection. You love anything that involves contact, hugging, holding hands, high fives, cuddling, the whole 9 yards. It’s what gave you the euphoric feeling that everyone craves.

Carol is literally the exact opposite. She stays away from physical contact as much as possible

She doesnt understand the need for it, she wants her space. She doesnt need to….interlock fingers with yours to prove that she loves you. She may have been human, but technically, her wiring was still Kree.

And do you really think they allowed measly… mortal things like hugging and cuddling to slide?

…

That’s what I thought.

You never made a big deal out of it, though. You knew that was just Carol, and you didn’t wanna be the kind of girlfriend that always nags and is never satisfied.

Don’t get me wrong. You’ve tried. Like that once time at the pier.

It was date night, you and carol, and Natasha and Wanda. It was group date:movie on the beach followed by street food and a walk on the pier.

“Group photo!” Everyone huddled together as Natasha stretched her arms to hey everyone in the photo.

You stood by your girlfriend smiling wide, you took a regular photo and then a silly one. You saw Wanda stand on her tiptoes to kiss Natasha on her cheek, so you figured you would do the same to Carol.

I mean…Natasha sure as hell got a kick out of it. And you and Carol were just as much in love and they were.

So, standing on your toes when Natasha went to take another picture, you pressed your lips to Carol eyes.

Big mistake.

Carol froze up, you could’ve sworn she was about to have a seizure with how tense her body got.

“You alright?” Thinking that you crossed a boundary.

“Yeah, Babe. I’m fine.”

You brushed it off and told yourself you were overthinking.

But you weren’t.

For the rest of the night, Carol basically avoided any contact with you, she didnt hold your hand, kiss you on your forehead. None of it.

You chalked it up to her maybe not being comfortable with PDA. You could get with that, I mean…it makes sense. She grew up in a time where people weren’t so open about two women loving each other, and a lot of people today still aren’t it made sense.

But then….Carol not only didn’t show you affection outside, but inside as well.

Everytime you initiated a cuddle session, she would always make some lame excuse “oh, it’s too hot” or “you’re crushing my bladder baby” and she would always play it off.

That happened a lot, like a lot, a lot.

So eventually, you let it go. You didn’t try to hug her, or hold her when she had a bad day. You knew she wasn’t going to hold up or rub your back if you came back from a particularly bad mission that left you with a nightmare. You knew that you weren’t ever going to have that. But you loved Carol, so you were able to deal.

Not being able to be intimate (not sexually) with the one person you loved most took a toll on you, of course it did.

Everyone could see it, especially Natasha.

Nat was your big sister, she was always the one who noticed even the smallest bit of a change in you.

So you bet your bottom dollar that Natasha heard the sigh you let out when she hugged you longer than usual.

This past mission was….brutal, to say the least. You had made it out by the skin of your teeth, broken toe and bruises and scratches everywhere, but alive nonetheless.

Of course, Carol was relieved that you were alive…and she told you that. But sometimes actions speak louder than words. All she gave you was a little smile and peck on the lips. There was no bruising kiss, bone crushing hug. But, you were used to it.

Natasha though, quite the opposite.

As soon as she saw you, her little sister, walk through the compound doors, she gave you the biggest hug.

All you could do was hug back, let out the biggest sigh, and with that came tears. It had been so long since you’d been hugged so passionately. Since someone’s love for you was shown through body movements and physical contact.

Natasha noticed how you were reluctant to pull away, and how when you did. You looked drained, albeit refreshed.

She knew the mission was tough but this was something else. She knew how you looked when it’d been awhile without physical reassurance.

“When was the last time Carol gave you a hug? Held you? Anything?”

And when you couldn’t give a solid answer let alone a recent one, Natasha was ready to rip off a head. You calmed her down of course, saying how it was okay, but She wasn’t having it.

“Why don’t you just tell her how much hugging and affection means to you? You don’t deserve this.” Natasha huffed and crossed her eyes, eyes sad eyes looking into yours.

“Because it’s who she is, Nat.” You tried to explain. “She doesn’t do hugs or late night cuddles. That’s just her.”

Natasha rolled her eyes. “Yeah? Well you do hugs, and kisses and holding hands and late night cuddles. That’s just who you are. Why are you the only sacrificing and making changes to who you are, when she’s living fine and dandy?” She threw her hands up, eyes wide and expectant with anger.

“Why is she perfectly sane and you’re losing your mind, hell yourself? And why the fuck didn’t you tell me about this earlier?”

Natasha was pissed yes, but it was coming from a place of love. And you knew you needed to hear it.

“I- I don’t know. I just love her and I didn’t wanna make her uncomfortable.”

She sighed. Placing her hands on your arms, rubbing up and down. You smiled. “That’s not love, Y/N/N. You can love Carol all you want, but you don’t love yourself if you’re willing to allow yourself to be hurt like this.”

Natasha was right, she knew that. And she also knew that you weren’t going to say anything to Carol directly. So she took upon herself, as she should.

You slept in between Natasha and Wanda that night. Sandwiched in between your two favorite people family members. Don't…. Don’t tell Tony that.

The next morning, Carol jumped up at the sound of banging against her door. It was still dark outside, she didn’t even hear birds chirping yet. Who in the world could that be?

“I don’t care if your decent or not Danvers, I’m coming in.”

The door opened and in walked Natasha romanoff, still in her pajamas, but a wicked look on her face. She sat in the chair facing Carol’s bed, faced hardened and eyes raging.

“Nat what the-”

“We need to talk about Y/N.”

Carol’s eyes widened, sitting up immediately. “I- Is she alright?”

“No, thanks to you.” Natasha raised her eyebrows, attitude spewing from her body language. Spicy.

“What are you talking about?” Carol rubbed her eyes, it was too early to be dealing with yelling and accusations.

“Why haven’t you hugged her? Or kissed her? Or held her after her worst missions? Or told her it was going to be alright when she wakes up screaming from nightmares? Because I’m sure she does. We all do. But unlike Y/N, we have someone to calm us down and make is feel safe? Do you even love her?”

Carol scrunched her eyebrows up at that. “Of course I love her why are you asking that?”

“Are you sure?” Natasha tilted her head. “Because if you did, you would see how tired and sad she looks. How all she wants is a hug and kiss everyone once and a while from her girlfriend! How she just wants to hold your hand when you pass through crowds because they make her nervous and she doesnt want to get lost!”

Carol stuttered. What was Natasha talking about?

“She wants to feel loved. Because actions speak damn louder than words. And you telling Y/N that you love her means nothing if she doesn’t feel it.”

Natasha is pacing around the room now, rage fueling her words. This was for her sister.

“God. She sacrificed the one thing that grounds her the most because you are ‘comfortable’ with physical contact.” Air quotes. “Well too damn bad, Danvers. Sometimes we gotta feel uncomfortable to make the one we love comfortable. And it isn’t even unreasonable, its human! And before you spew that Kree bullshit at me, you have your memories back, and all the feelings that come with it. You know what it’s like. Y/N hasn’t been hugged or held in weeks. She thrives on that. That’s why she probably almost died! Because she just couldn’t think, her body didn’t have enough energy, enough…love to get out of their sooner.” Natasha wiped her eyes, red and puffy eyes before looking at her sisters girlfriend. Her voice cracked all through her rampant speech.

“So before you say, you love her. Do you actions show it? She may be here now, might he huffing it and powering through. But a person can only handle so much before they break. And I’ll be damned if I let you break my sister. So shape up, or ship out, Danvers. My sister comes first.”

And with that…Natasha was gone.

Wow.

Carol just sat in her bed, hair still messy and eyes red and teary.

What kind of girlfriend was she? Natasha was 100% right. She didnt give you enough love, and she feels like a complete ass for not caring. She knew what she needed to do.

The rest of the day went as Normal. You had no idea about the whole Natasha/Carol debacle. And it stayed that way.

You woke up, in a….surprisingly not empty bed. Natasha and Wanda were at your sides, trying to hold in their giggles as they watched TV to not wake you.

Spoiler alert: didnt work.

Natasha asked how you’re feeling, to which you said “better than ever.” They both frowned at that answer. They didn’t even want to ask when was the last time you and Carol slept in the same bed.

You all went your separate ways. It was Sunday, you had training and a debriefing to prepare yourself for. But you needed to shower first. Mentally, you were refreshed, being squished because two bodies and snug like a bug in a rug really gave your mind a boost.

You were sad that it wasn’t Carol on either side of you, but you didn’t dwell too much on it. Not a good idea to think too much.

You walked towards your room, turning the knob to get your things to shower.

You nearly jumped when you saw a disheveled Carol on your bed. Red eyes and a look of pure guilt when she saw you.

“Carol, is everything alright?” She stood up and walked over to you. She played with her hands as she tried to find the right words.

“I just- I.” You reached out to place your hands onto Carol’s, immediately pulling your hands back when you registered just who was standing in front of you.

Carol broke at that. Tears now freely flowing from her eyes as she covered them with her hands.

“You’re scaring me, Car. What’s wrong?” She pulled her hands down and stared at you, the tears never stopping.

Suddenly, you felt yourself being pulled forward and warm, strong arms coming around your waist.

It was an odd feeling, a new one, and it took you a minute, but then you realized.

This is a hug, Carol is hugging you. Oh my god. This is the moment you’ve been waiting for.

You wrapped your arms around Carol’s middle, squeezing tightly as you laid your head on her chest. She squeezed harder, still crying, while words fell from her mouth.

“I’m so sorry, baby. I’ve been the worst girlfriend ever. I put myself before you and I let you not put yourself first. I should’ve hugged you everyday, and kissed you on your forehead when you were sleepy and- and held your hand when were in crowds and let you lay on me when you were scared. I’m so sorry. You’re only human and I denied you of the one thing you needed most. Please forgive me.”

You didn’t let go of Carol, or say anything else. You just squeezed harder, your arms coming to wrapped around her neck, as she pulled your body even closer.

Tears sprang to your eyes when you felt her lips press to your forehead.

Was this a dream?

“This was all you wanted and I never gave it to you. You never go without it again I promise, I love you. I love you and I’m gonna show you. No more Kree Carol, Human Carol from now on.”

You placed a kissed on Carol’s neck, smiling when she sighed in relief.

This was all you wanted, and you finally got it. You’re only human.

#carol danvers #carol danvers x reader #carol danvers imagine #brie larson imagine #brie larson x reader #brie larson #natasha romanoff x reader #natasha romanoff #wanda maximoff x reader #wanda maximoff #captain marvel imagine #captain marvel #captain marvel x reader #wlw fanfic #wlw imagine #madi writes

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void-tiger · 3 years

Text

Tagged by @curiosity-killed (thanks for the tag!!)

roses or daisies:

DAISIES!!! They’re so simple and cheery have just as many colors and look delicate but are actually really tenacious? Also, how charming is Day’s Eye (and asters in general having the habit of facing eachother if they’re not turned towards the light--I think I have a picture of dahlias doing this from last autumn--and like. Star Flower. Okay, I’ll shut up now xD )

classical or lofi:

...okay so I admit I had to look this one up. But easily some of my favorite tracks are those Hidden Ones that bands plop onto their albums to fill up leftover space, but are often basically just scrapped recording or practice sessions? The bloopers and their creative process, basically. Cut to me googling and youtubing it and finding hiphop lofi and...yeah! Definitely Lofi.

(Classical vs OST and Modern Classical (that’s composed to be a lot more cinematic) just...really puts me on edge. It’s too mathematical...to put it nicely.)

So...yeah. Slow beats and something that sounds experimental or like a jamming session? It’s soothing and kinda ideal for background noise.

sunrises or sunsets:

Sunset. One, never ever gonna be a “morning person”. Forget it. Two, sunsets often have more dramatic colors and still make the landscape glow and you get to see stars peeping out vs fading. Also, y’know. I’m actually awake to appreciate it vs groggy and legit physically ill.

honey or lemon:

Honey as a condiment. Lemon for sweets flavor. (Baklava’s probably the exception...then again I haven’t had that many honey-flavored sweets, I guess? But Lemon-Poppyseed?? Definitely one of my favorites,)

coffee or tea:

Coffee. I adore tea service aesthetics and will someday probably collect them (especially the really quirky or earthen or blownglass ones vs the froufrou european ones)...buuuut, I just haven’t really had A Good Cuppa Tea much at all. There was this spiced tea I’ve had in Jordan that was AMAZING and I do like greentea (with...A LOT of sugar or honey...) but. I’ve just never really had tea. My family’s coffee drinkers, so the smell of coffee is nostalgic. (And yes, I’m basic enough that I prefer flavored, sweetened creamers; and my coffee brewed or spiced with, like, cinnamon and nutmeg, too. Or as a mocha.)

...I also have a Bad Habit of abandoning my Herbal “Teas” with the bags either left steeping too long (I have gotten better at using a timer) or while waiting for them to cool. And while I’d just really love it for Uncle Iroh to make me tea (provided he doesn’t get on my case about wanting sugar and maybe cream), the Times and Temperatures are just so dang fussy!! I...don’t think I have the patience for that.

enemies to lovers or friends to lovers:

Friends to Lovers. I just...don’t Get It with the sexual tension~ that seems to be the driving force behind enemies to lovers...I guess?? (That, and unless it’s literally on a battlefield, HARD PASS. I’ve had people try to blow off my complaints about getting repeatedly tormented as “he liiiiiikes you~” bullshit to ever be comfortable with it as anything but Legit Two Sides Of A Battle/Political Conflict. Sorry.)

But, Friends to Lovers? That Bond. And then the ...Oh. The domesticity and trust and safety. Also it is RIPE for Idiots to Lovers mutual pining xD

(bonus points if both parties decide ahead of time, “hey. even if dating doesn’t work out I still value your friendship in my life, so no pressure about ‘ruining things,’“ And then, of course, it does work out and there was nothing to be anxious about, after all.)

rainy days or sunny days:

...cop out but, overcast days with Soft Sunlight and Cloudbreaks?? I do like a clear skies sunny day, but, my eyes are also so sensitive to light that it can be painful. Rainy days can be soothing...but the rain has to be A Certain Way. Too heavy and with too much wind behind it and it can get me anxious. (My childhood home had Every Rain is Severe Weather...with no place to shelter. It’s gonna take awhile before i can appreciate it like i’d want.)

jupiter or mars:

Jupiter. GIANT. DEADLY. MARBLE (that wants to eeeaaat meeeee...) Also Pluto, and the jovian moons.

aphrodite or athena:

Athena!! She’s an ace icon, aight?? And also strikes me as...very, very Tired with everyone’s bullshit. Also...all the greek gods are kinda assholes. So. Yeah. She ain’t perfect and her characterization’s at the mercy of whatever myth in question, but generally she strikes me as practical and sensible and having Mercy...sometimes. As much as that group is capable of it, anyway...

rome or greece:

...probably Ancient Rome as a “ancient culture to explore but a YIKES (but. so is ancient greece.)” But visiting IRL in the present? Greece.

sun or moon:

Moon. I appreciate what the sun does and I do like feeling sunlight and all that...but, I’m also a night person. And I can look at the moon without risk of blindness and admire its corona and that rainbow corona you can see just a bit further out if you know where and how to look. BUT. The moon easily loses out to a starfield, especially if the light pollution and humidity are both low enough that ya get to actually see the milky way’s galaxy arm. (The irony that the sun IS our local star does not elude me.)

1920s or 1990s:

...neither?? 90s only slightly win out ‘cause I’m a ‘93 Kid and the 90s and 00s had some incredible toys and cartoons. And, idk. I still like overall pants and shorts. Always have. While a flapper dress would be “oooh pretty! starlight beading! Now OFF. Back to regular clothes for ‘Sporing or Comfy Lounging.”

blizzard or thunderstorm:

Blizzard. Also. Have you considered...thundersnow??

(Admittedly? I’ve also never been through a snowstorm that threatened by health&safety. The same cannot be said about thunderstorms when nearly every one could or would spawn tornados and severe straightline winds that could knock down trees and powerlines and sometimes even damage homes. While living in a home with NO safe place to shelter. Not even an interior closet or bathroom. NOT. FUN.)

midnight memories or made in the am:

...what?? [googles] ...OH...they’re...albums. UH. Neither?? (I don’t listen to them...?)

sage green or vanilla white:

Sage green. It’s kinda a nostalgic color somehow? Also. Just not a fan of monochrome...at all. I see it? I instantly want it to be a backdrop. Negative space. For COLOR. (jewel tones for whites/light neutrals and browns; NEONS for blacks and dark greys. Preference for Jewel Tones over Neons...wait. What was the question again??? OH YEAH..uh... I do like vanilla icecream? With rainbow sprinkles. Or...paired with hot fruit pie or cobbler. Or cookies. Um...yeah I should prolly shutup now. xD )

folklore or lover:

...I don’t...understand??? But...I like Folkslore as in...folklore??? Fairytales, Legends, Myths... (also, so frikkin ace I’m just. not ever gonna pick “lover”)

croissant or macaroon:

...why would you do this to me. I make a beeline for croissants because...Soft Flaky Buttery Bread. And they are So Good as a savory sandwich sorta thing. Easily better than english muffins or crumpets, tho biscuits have a fighting chance. But LIKE. Soft breads. My weakness as a kid.

...but a good macaroon?? It is so light and crisp and TINY and like?? how does it taste like coffee??? and berries????? (Too bad they are So EXPENSIVE. While even cheap croissants are almost always Good.)

ballgowns or pantsuits:

I like the aesthetics of a ballgown. But never the pricetag, I wouldn’t wanna live in that thing for more than an hour, tops (and. so much damn work!!) and I’m stuck looking at them Defying (boob) Physics and just...dying a little inside. With my rare It Pretty Want Pretty wilting with it. But...it’s rare that pantsuits really...look like anything. (They also look uncomfortable and yet another Wardrobe Disaster and Do I HAVE To??? if I think about...actually wearing them. But, Legs Free No Tripping...I guess??)

hades or zeus:

I only wanna EVER meet Zeus if I get to castrate the bastard and lock ‘im up where he’ll NEVER get back out. Hades, tho...I’m WATCHING you, Bub. (Why yes, I agree with Demeter on this one.)

platonic love or sensual love:

Platonic. Cuddling and Kissing are technically Sensual but, y’know what? They ain’t exclusive to sexual or romantic loves (and I just. really do not want kissing at all. MAYBE a quick kiss on the forehead or fingertips but LIKE. That’s it. And it’s cute af for...literally ANY Love Type.)

light academia or cottagecore:

Honestly? A mix between the two. Cottagecore with my charming little home with its overgrown flowerbed of wildflowers (and asters! All the asters) and produce grown in large pots or hanging baskets...and inside the walls are covered with overflowing shelves of books and knicknacks and other Neat Things. Oh, and naturally a tea service (might not actually have tea in it...) and tons of pillows and blankets, and lamps and lanterns Everywhere for warm and soft (and colorful) light to read by while music plays softly in the background. And the home smells like something I just made for Supper or Snacks, or like a food-scented candle.

Aaaaaand tagging @mckinlily @headspacedad @aairachnid @synergetic-prose and whoever else wants to play! No obligation to play if tagged.

#tagged meme #tiger’s musings #long post

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flokive · 4 years

Text

lie to me II - Youngblood

description: part two of my internet bff au featuring ashton irwin // the fight between james and elisabeth left liz feeling lonely and numb. it doesn’t really help that her best friend, fletcher, really wants to know what happened and wants to help, even though he lives in australia and liz lives in europe... writers note: yay! in honor of soft!ashton thursdays here’s the second chapter of lie to me :) don’t really have a lot to say, just a quick thank you to my loves @ashtonsos and @easierlftv for proof reading this <3 // enjoy! hope y’all like it, and, please, don’t worry... fletcher will be more prominent in the story soon... wordcount: 1358

“Remember the words you told me, love me 'til the day I die Surrender my everything 'cause you made me believe you're mine Yeah, you used to call me baby, now you calling me by name Takes one to know one You beat me at my own damn game”

---

fletchersthoughts

liz? hello? well, you sure know how to get a man eager with anticipation…

...

umm, earth to liz? where are you?

…

ok, i’m starting to get worried. liz???

…

liz, please just message me back. i have got to get some sleep, it’s almost 3am here… love you!!! bye

Liz has been sitting on the floor, numb and empty until her thoughts are interrupted by the smell of burning sauce. As quick as she possibly can, she jumps to her feet and turns off the stove, watching the steam escaping the now blackened pasta sauce. Too tired from the fight to clean up the kitchen mess, she leaves the saucepan on the stove, cracks the window to let the bad smell escape the kitchen, and plumps down on the couch, feeling numb and unable to do anything else.

Liz jolts awake, the sudden movement making her wince. A quick glance at the clock informs her it’s 3 am, the outside world is dark and cold, apart from the spots on the street that are lit up by the street lights. The house is quiet, Liz calls for James, her voice echoes in their empty apartment, and no one responds. He’s still gone and she’s all alone again. A lonely yet guilty feeling washes over Liz as she closes her eyes and rubs her neck, trying to ease the pain caused by the weird sleeping position on the couch. As she slowly rises to her feet, a sad sob leaves her throat when she looks at the kitchen mess. Quickly she turns off the kitchen lights, trying to ignore the mess and the guilt that comes with it. If she just did something else this night, if she just ignored Fletcher this one time, none of this would’ve happened. In the dark, the apartment feels even colder than it did before, maybe even more terrifying than before. Liz rests her head against the doorframe that separates the kitchen with the hallway to their, maybe now only her, bedroom. When she slowly opens the door to the master, her eyes meet the mess James created. Clothes are flung everywhere, a picture frame lies on the ground, the glass shattered and James’ bedside table is cleared. With tears burning in her eyes she tries to pick up the pieces of the picture frame, carefully to let the sharp glass cut her hands, a sad sigh leaves her mouth when she puts the glass shards on her bedside table. She slowly seats herself down on the bed, holding her head between her hands. Salty tears stream down her face when she thinks about everything that’s been said and done. The thoughts if she could’ve done anything different re-enter her mind as she lays down, dragging her blanket over her head, trying to just forget the world for a moment.

The first thing Liz does when she wakes up is checking her phone, wondering if James has sent any messages since their fight last night. Her inbox is empty, apart from Fletcher’s seven un-read messages she chose to ignore last night. She clicks on the bolded notification and reads them slowly, after staring at the words for a while she decides to not reply yet, not wanting to talk about the events of last night. Since it’s Saturday and Liz doesn’t have anywhere to go she ends up scrolling through her Tumblr dashboard. Reblogging every sad quote she reads. A small smile appears on Liz's face, remembering how her 17-year-old self would’ve been doing the exact same thing, laying in bed, scrolling endlessly through the same site, using it as some sort of coping mechanism. Her phone chimes and on top of her screen a new message from Fletcher appears. Liz closes her eyes, takes a deep breath, and decides to finally reply.

fletchersthoughts liz?? i see you reblogging, i know you read my messages so i KNOW you’re awake. please just give me some sort of sign of life, please?

queenliz hey fletch im sorry busy night, james didn’t feel good returning from work we fell asleep early

The lies are bad and Liz feels guilty for lying to her closest friend but she just can’t handle talking and thinking about the events of last night. Her phone chimes again, knowing it’s Fletcher, she decides to ignore him once again. Hoping he would get the hint and leave her alone today. A rumbling sound from her tummy interrupts her thoughts, reminding her she hasn't eaten a thing since last night. Liz changes yesterday's clothes for some comfy leggings and a black crewneck sweater. Before leaving to get some breakfast, she washes the mascara stained tears away, grabs her wallet, and leaves the damned apartment.

Liz makes her way to the local coffee shop, orders a big iced coffee, a freshly baked croissant and strolls back home. Whilst munching down on her breakfast she looks at the city waking up. The events from last night fresh in her brain Liz decides to take the long way home, through the park, trying to clear her brain and understand everything that happened last night.

Halfway home, Liz plumps down on a wooden bench and starts to pick apart the last bit of her croissant, throwing some it at some doves in front of her. The peaceful sounds of the park finally give her time to process the events of last night. Every word, every action that happens plays in slow-motion in her head, it’s like she’s watching a really bad movie but she can’t find the remote to switch the channels. A feeling of guilt and sadness gnaws in her brain when she thinks how badly she treated her best friend. How bad her lies were, how she bluntly ignored the man who has always been there for her. Slowly she takes her phone out of her pocket and opens the last unread message Fletcher send her, saying he doesn’t quite believe her, and she starts writing an apology.

queenliz so... you’re right, i kind of lied to you this morning… we didn’t really fell asleep early last night we had a fight, a horrible one, i might add i think god fletch, i think we broke up..

Liz looks up from her screen, tears forming in her eyes, making her vision blur. She quickly wipes away the tears before they spill over her cheeks. With shaking hands, she continues explaining what happened the night before. As per usual, Fletcher doesn't take longer than a minute to reply.

fletchersthoughts he did WHAT?! he threw a fucking glass at your head? what the fuck was this guy thinking?? liz... fuck…

queenliz i’m okay fletch, really don’t worry about me, i didn’t get hurt so it’s fine

fletchersthoughts you didn’t get hurt so it’s all fine?! that’s fucking bullshit liz and you know it HOW am i supposed to not worry about you liz? fuck.

Liz huffs annoyed, re-reading the message Fletcher just send her. Her fingers fly over the keyboard when she writes her response.

queenliz please fletcher, don’t be so fucking dramatic i fucking said i was fine, so i am doing fine leave me be and please stop worrying about me, it’s getting on my fucking nerves idk if you know this, but i can take care of myself.

Liz’s fingers hover above the keyboard, debating whether or not telling Fletcher to leave her alone, to stick his nose into someone else’s business. Her bottom lip rolls back and forth between her teeth, a metallic flavor reminding her she should probably stop nibbling on her lips and make a decision. Her thumb lays on top of the lock button and her other thumb hovering back and forth over the backspace and send button. Her phone buzzes in her hands, letting her know that Fletcher is sorry for being so protective and that he understands Liz might not be ready to talk about things today. A soft smile appears on her lips for the first time in, what feels like ages. Quickly she deletes the message and sends him a brief thank you, before locking her phone and standing up to head home again.

taglist: @cthofficial - @calmlftv - @kingcals - @spicycal - @another-lonely-heart

send me a message if you wanna be added to my taglist!

#ashton irwin fic #ashton irwin fanfiction #ashton irwin #5sos fic #5 seconds of summer fic #lie to me afi #5sos au #5 seconds of summer au #5sos #5 seconds of summer #ashton irwin au #god im sorry if this was bad #ashton will appear soon i PROMISE #i just need to set the mood and get the story straight #HE WILL BE HERE SOON I PROMISE

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soundofseventeen · 4 years

Text

13 Days of Christmas (Joshua Hong)

I am very tired, rip. gif credit to owners...im off to cure my cold

Word count: 1676

You wouldn’t call yourself the grinch, but you definitely hated the holidays. You couldn’t stand how the moment Halloween was over, Christmas trees were not only put up everywhere you turned, but the music seeped from the stereo and into your brain (and sometimes your dreams). And then there was the holiday shopping. There were people who didn’t deserve anything but you still had to get them something because you hung out with them. But then there were those who deserved everything the world had to offer, but you couldn’t afford that because the money in your bank account liked to laugh at you for even thinking it. None of that, however, compared to the ridiculous hours you had to work.

The worst job in the world, you liked to say, was retail. You didn’t mind dealing with people as long as they were friendly and didn’t send you into a panic attack after one interaction. They made your days bearable...and also not hate your job too much. But the ones who treated you like gum under their shoe or a roach they couldn’t kill made you wanna gouge your eyes out...or douse them in gasoline and set them on fire. You were fine with either option. It seemed like they all came out to play during the holiday deals and make your life even more miserable than it already felt. You’d been mentally preparing yourself for these days since July, maybe earlier...you didn’t know to be honest. Time now seemed like a foreign concept. Halloween meant dealing with parents fighting over the tiniest accessories for costumes to screeching for a manager because of a nonexistent discount. And the teenagers who acted too cool for everyone had you screaming into whatever you had in your hands. And November brought angry people who basically cursed you and your future generations for not having a bigger display of Thanksgiving items (despite few people celebrating the actual holiday.)

But those didn’t compare to the month-long Christmas. Christmas, ironically enough, was the holiday from hell. Most of the time, you clocked in early in the morning as the sun rose and there was a good chance you wouldn’t come out until the stars were out. If your manager didn’t have you mopping the floor from a coffee that a careless mom spilled, you worked the register, praying that you had the strength to get through your shift. You envied everyone who walked in or passed through those doors because they didn’t feel dread coursing through their bodies. All in all, if you could quit your job without worrying about your next paycheck, you would’ve walked a long time ago, because sometimes it didn’t feel like they paid you enough to deal with that bullshit.

Tonight seemed like no exception when you trudged through your apartment door, your feet feeling like they’d give out at any second a little after midnight. You let yourself fall on your couch, ripping off the ridiculous Santa Claus hat your coworkers begged you to wear with them, wondering if you could “lose” it somehow. Your face hurt from the mostly fake smile you wore the entire time. You wanted a hot shower to relax your muscles; you wanted to sleep in to the new year so the stress would go away. You needed to look for your laptop so you could start your Christmas shopping so you could spare the other retail workers. (While customers left you apathetic, the empathy you felt for everyone else who dealt with them skyrocketed and you vowed to make things easier for them.); you needed food so your tummy would quit whining at you to eat something; you needed to remind yourself that no other job paid above the minimum; you needed the fucking cold to go away so you could be less cranky. You just hated everything right now.

As if your night couldn’t get any worse, a scream sounded next door to you. It wasn’t an, “Oh my god, I’m dying here, someone please save me,” yell but one of, “Oh my god; what is this?!” How that was possible, you didn’t know but it was enough for you to leave your couch and out the door in record time to give them a piece of your mind. Some people were asleep at this hour and some like you wanted to wallow in their self-pity because they had to repeat today tomorrow again.

You had a few choice words for the white flakes falling from the sky because now you had to officially accept that Christmas was coming and you were gonna die of premature stress. But then you saw the culprit who startled you and ruined your night and yelled out an irritated, “Hey!” with hopes of rolling whatever you could spew at him.

He looked at you, his emotions one of wonder and surprise at being acknowledged, his hand midair as if reciting a Shakespearan monologue.

His eyes were a lot sparklier than the ornaments that decorated the Christmas tree at work and you weren’t expecting that, so your expansive vocabulary of bad words died on your tongue, and the longer you looked at him, the harder it was to form a sentence of, “Why the fuck are you so loud?” or something along those lines...and goddamn it, now you were blushing because you had no idea what to do now. His black hair fell into his eyes as the wind blew and he made zero effort to move it, making him seem more attractive and if you weren’t frozen on the spot, you would’ve gone back in and let the roof cave in over your head.

“Hello,” he finally spoke and you were officially fucked. “Can I help you with something?” That. Lisp. With lips redder than Snow White’s had you melting into a puddle and ready to scream at whoever decided to make your life this hard.

“Yeah,” you hated yourself for how meek you sounded when you meant to sound intimidating. “Why’d you yell? Some of us have to be up early tomorrow.” Or in a few hours...time lost its meaning. All you knew was that your alarm had been set up already.

“I’m sorry. I-I just I’ve never seen snow before tonight. See, I’m from LA and it never snows there. Like, we’d go somewhere like Lancaster or more up north, but this is the first time I’ve seen it fall while I’ve been here.”

“Yeah, but so loud? Was that necessary?” Fuck, he was really cute with his reindeer antlers and you really needed to focus because now was not the time to look like a fool in front of a cute boy. Well, any more than you already have.

“I’m sorry.”

“Yeah well just don’t let it happen again.” You finally found the strength to move and you went back inside to let your neighbor have fun with the falling snow, trying to ignore your racing heart and blushing cheeks.

“Oh, shit this is cold!”

“Dude!” you threw your head out.

“I’m Joshua,” he waved at you.

“And I wanna sleep.” You sighed. “Listen, I know you mean well, but I have to deal with unpleasant humans tomorrow and the day after that and this whole fucking month until the new year so if you shut up for the rest of the night, then I would appreciate it.”

He shot you a finger gun and clicked his tongue. “Ahh, you work retail. I could tell by your attitude.” He shivered from the cold. “I’m sorry if I disturbed you; I was just excited to see it-”

And now you felt like a jerk. “No, I’m sorry it was just a really long day and people were annoying and some five-year-old kid almost made me cry and December is just a nightmare and it’s only the beginning. I didn’t mean to snap at you, and enjoy the snow.” You closed the door slowly and opened it again just as quickly. “Also, wear gloves because frostbite is not a joke. Okay, sorry for disturbing you.” *

The next morning, after digging in your closet to find all the accessories to keep you warm, you were running late. So much so, you didn’t even bother turning on your alarm. (It was insured so you weren’t too worried about something happening. And in your haste, you ran straight into...Joshua. Great.

“I’m sorry. I’ll pay for any damages tonight. My boss’s gonna kill me if I don’t get there soon.”

“Do you ever just take a second to breathe?” He asked you, gently blowing on his coffee cup. The smell of it mixed with French vanilla wafted through the air and into your nostrils. “It’s not even eight yet. What’s the rush?”

“Traffic, and long lines to get breakfast.”

“Well, I have a bagel. Here.”

“I don’t know you.”

“Well, it’s either take my word for it or you’ll be hungry for hours.”

“How’d you like the snow?” Better to change the subject even if meant getting there a little later than usual. You looked at his bagel a little longer and hesitantly reached for it. (And you realized you didn’t have dinner last night, making it look twice as good.)

“It’s really pretty. I’m kinda glad I live here now.”

“It won’t be like that after a while, trust me. And I really have to go. Uh, thanks for the bagel. I’ll pay you for that.”

“Just don’t yell at your neighbors anymore for seeing snow and we’ll call it even. Good luck at work. I think you might need it. Also, I didn’t get your name.” The cold air left his face red and you hated yourself for how attractive he looked.

“I’m Y/N.”

“Well, Y/N, I’ll probably see you after work. Have a great day.”

You couldn’t tell if he was being sincere or sarcastic but you knew that he was cute and you may have believed in Santa Claus for bringing a cute boy to be your next-door neighbor.

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