#first off im taking pictures of his armour

[mediumgayitalian]

Nico is pretty sure, at this point, that something has gone wrong. A chasm has opened up, a trap went haywire, an explosion went off and blew up half the camp. Something drastic has to have happened to make everyone go quiet.

But the rocks of Zeus’ fist are sun-warmed. A sweet-smelling breeze ruffles brand new leaves, musses his hair, although it’s hot enough that he’s rolled up the cuffs of his jeans and forgone a sweater. Will is on guard duty next to him, and no one has come to bother them in hours, and he cannot bring himself to care.

“Found one!”

“No way,” Nico protests, leaning over to see. “It’s been ten minutes!”

In the palm of the cupped hand Will holds out between them, held loose so as not to crush it, is a four-leaf clover. One of the more picturesque ones, too; emerald green, heart-shaped leaves, delicately crimped, and a thin curling stem tapered perfectly down the middle.

Will shrugs, smiling. There’s enough bitten-back teasing in his expression that it looks more like a smirk. “I guess I’m just lucky.”

“Lucky I don’t smite you, maybe,” Nico grumbles. “Go away. Your bad vibes are hindering my success.”

Snorting, Will does, shuffling back over to let Nico comb through the clover thatch in peace. He stretches out on the grass — he ditched his shoes and helmet and armour the literal second the rest of the team ran off, the dork — and shifts ‘til he’s comfortable, ankles crossed, hands behind his head, eyes closed. Nico pictures him with a piece of straw sticking out of his mouth and a cowboy hat resting over his eyes and giggles to himself. The image is so clear he’s half-certain it was a vision.

“Though you were tryin’ to focus,” Will mutters, cracking one eye open.

Nico sticks his tongue out. “I’m trying, derpface. All your shifting around is distracting.”

“I’ve moved maybe three times.”

“Yeah, in as many minutes.”

Will, without looking, plucks a blade of grass and flicks it at him. “Stay focused, Death Breath.” He stretches his arms above his head, sighing. “I’m gonna nap.”

He doesn’t move when Nico flings a handful of (regular) clovers at him, infuriatingly serene. He’s trained himself to fall asleep anywhere, anything to catch up on the sleep debt he’s been wracking up for years, and the sunny patch of clearing in the first they’re in is one of the nicer places Nico has found him passed out. At least here he can stretch out, sit in the sun — Nico found him tucked in between the camp washer and dryer, once, curled under a stack of laundry baskets. He’d made a valiant effort to hide himself from accident-prone younger siblings and best friends who invite mortal wrath, but his snoring had given him away. Nico’d heard him outside the building.

Here, though, no one is bothering them. Chiron’s playing field medic, the infirmary has been stocked, the Ares kids were cursed by Clovis and co. last week and have been asleep since. There haven’t been any echoing screams of agony. No desperate IMs. Nico, even, makes sure to keep his sword within reach, armour still firmly strapped, quietly on guard so Will doesn’t have to be. For once, he can take up as much space as he likes, bare skin absorbing the sun that has outshined the clouds perhaps for the express purpose of keeping him toasty even without a blanket.

Nico drags his eyes back towards the clovers, smiling. He’s cute when he sleeps. Sometimes he mumbles, nonsensical ramblings of the half-conscious, too slurred for Nico to make much sense of it. He catches bits and pieces of words and phrases as he picks through the soft leaves; lemme try, twice, as he watches a ladybug hop her way over a stone; careful with that, as he tosses a handful of regular, three-leaf clovers into the air; and notably diphenhydramine as he digs his hand through the soft dirt to yank out a worm.

Nico turns to face him. “You’re a nerd,” he says solemnly.

Will snores in response.

“Sleep quieter, why don’t you.”

The thing about Will is that he is like a tapeworm.

Nico means this in the best possible way. They start out invisible — sure, you might feel the irritation of something new burrowing its way into your person, but it’s not your most pressing concern. You’ve maybe got other things on your mind. You’re not focused, intensely, on how tiny changes are happening to you; you’re eating more, moving more, sleeping weird. Sometimes this happens. It’s nothing notable.

Slowly, though, you start to change. There’s this…cavern, inside of you, that you’re suddenly aware of. Maybe it was always there. You’re struck, more and more each day, with the need to fill yourself. To consume. You are aware, for the first time in years, that you have not had enough. There has been an emptiness inside you. And now there’s this driving force making home inside you instead, pushing you to take enough to not just survive but to thrive. You’re capable, now, in a way you weren’t before, to feel your needs, your wants. To listen to them. There is something that has worked it’s way inside you and grown and grown and grown and forced you, alongside it, to care about yourself enough to maintain its life inside you.

Will would probably not appreciate being compared to a parasite. It might be funny to tell him anyway, though. Watch his eye twitch as he tries to find a diplomatic way to ask Nico what the fuck his deal is. He’ll have to tell him when he wakes up.

A quiet groaning noise has him looking up again; the sound of rustling clothes and twisting grass.

“Y’r smirkin’.”

Speak of the devil. Or parasite.

Nico picks at a tangled stem. “What are your thoughts on tapeworms?”

“Generally bad,” Will says, yawning. He doesn’t seem fazed at all by the random question — he usually isn’t. People ask him a lot of strange things, generally. Like, how many consecutive concussions are medically unsound? (any, dude, please), or what is the recommended liquid amount of iron to swallow to fortify your blood? (none, please don’t fucking swallow liquid iron), or perhaps most notable are you up for learning how to un-do cerebral paralysis within the next ten seconds? (no, Jesus Christ, get off the fucking roof and set down the wax wings, do you people learn nothing ever).

“What about tapeworms as a metaphor for friendship?”

“…That’s a new one, I’ll give you that.”

Hell yes. Point to Nico.

“D’you find one, yet?”

Nico’s face drops into a scowl. “No.”

He doesn’t understand how Will found a four-leaf so quickly. Nico’s been looking for much longer, and the clover patch is huge — statistically, he should have found one by now, right? It just makes sense.

Will hums, dragging himself to his knees and then somersaulting over. He lands legs sprawled over a smattering of pebbles, head by Nico’s knees. Nico reaches out and flicks his temples, just to watch him wrinkle his nose in protest.

“Whattaya so bent on getting one for, anyway?”

Nico shrugs, looking away. “Luck.”

“Duh.” Will pokes his thigh. “What for?”

“None of your business, nosy.”

“Well, that just made me a thousand times more interested. I was going to let it go, before, but now —”

“You’re so full of shit,” Nico huffs, grinning. Will matches his look with a shameless smile, placing his hands under his chin in a caricature of cherubic innocence.

“Why, whatever do you mean.”

“I mean —” he punctuates every word with a pinch — “that you have to know every detail —”

“Ack! Stop!”

“— of everybody else’s lives —”

“Hey! Derek Hale! Put the claws away!”

“— at any given time —”

“I am going to scream!”

“— or you’ll die.”

He acquires, finally, to Will’s screeching and writhing, pushing him away with one last poke. He pouts, looking at Nico with round, wounded eyes.

“You’re so mean to me.”

“You invite it, honestly.”

“By caring about you, you butthead.”

Nico rolls his eyes, fighting back a smile. “Yeah, yeah.”

Looking for the four-leaf is different with Will watching him. Different, somehow, even though he’s quiet, chin resting on his knees, eyes following Nico’s searching hands. Every shift has Nico’s breath catching, fingers twitching at his minute hums, his tapping fingers. He’s distracting. If Nico was struggling to find the lucky clover before, it’s hopeless now. Will drags his attention like the core of the Earth drags everything towards it.

“Hey,” Will murmurs, poking Nico with his toe. “Take mine.”

Nico glances up to find his hand, again, outstretched between them, four-leaf clover centred in the palm of his wide hands. His eyes watch every minute shift of Nico’s form, his stuttered breath, sweating palms. Bitten lip, shifting eyes.

“…You don’t know what I need it for.”

“I don’t need to.” Blue, blue, blue eyes. Ridiculously so, really. An exact match for the sky no matter what time of day; olympic blue, now, an perfect reflection of the late afternoon. “Take it.”

He thrusts his hand out farther. Heart pounding, Nico does, lightly pinching the stem between his thumb and forefinger, keeping his hand curled on Will’s.

He promised himself. One to ten thousand chance — if he found one, he’d do it.

It counts.

“Hey, Will.”

Blue widely above him, encroached by the canopy. Blue flapping in the wind behind him, perched on Zeus’ fist. Blue on the plumes of his helmet. Blue in the lavender, in the grape hyacinth, in the cornflowers.

Blue, blue, blue eyes, meeting his, flicking down. Flicking hastily back up again.

Nico tugs, gently, on his wrist. He moves where Nico directs him. Easily.

Up. Down. Up again. Perfect rings, thinning against a growing expanse of black.

Nico darts forward and kisses him. He sighs into it, immediately, hand going limp in Nico’s hold. The clover flutters to the ground between them, disappearing once again in a sea of green.

“You didn’t need luck for this,” Will mumbles.

Nico tilts their heads to rest closer together and kisses him ‘til he’s quiet.

#this is so dorky and random u can tell i haven’t slept LMFAO #pjo #percy jackson and the olympians #hoo #heroes of olympus #pjo hoo toa #nico di angelo #will solace #nico di angelo/will solace #solangelo #100 ways #100 ways to say i love you #banter #flirting #my writing #fic #longpost

[thesherrinfordfacility]

i know loads of other people have written and theorised about this, and there was an amazing post about how someone knew the actual owner of the bentley and how things had to get swapped around*, but for the sake of my own bloody sanity i needed to go through all the bentley snippets we see re: seat colours, interior door panel colours, and the bond transfers because otherwise it was going to drive me loopy-

*if anyone has a link for this post, please wing it over to me and i will link, it was really interesting!!!

let's start with the 1941 and 1967 flashbacks where we see the bentley: ✅ brown seats ✅ brown panels (as far as i can tell) ✅ bullet decal (1967):

then let's move to s1. tbh, i've only done this for the sake of full disclosure, but as far as i can tell, ✅ brown seats ✅ brown panels ✅ bullet decal (no pics but fairly content that they're there in all scenes):

*correction, apologies! middle right should be ep4!

and then, post bentley going up like kindling, and being resurrected by adam, we can see what looks to be black seats and, i'd hazard is an open window (given the lack of shimmer/reflection compared to the window on its left) - see we can't confirm the bullet decals. however - and mainly because it doesnt fit the pattern im about to lay out - this image is very zoomed in, and lighting quality isn't quite reliable. so personally, im considering this as inconclusive:

so now let's move onto s2. eps 1 and 2 are fairly straightforward, ✅ brown seats ✅ brown panels ✅ bullet decal:

episode 1: (3rd and 4th images are before and after the beelzebub interaction)

episode 2:

but here's where things get interesting (stating the obvious, i know that everyone knows this), but given that this is when aziraphale takes the bentley - after the very poignant "our car' discussion - we can see the following:

setting off from soho: ✅ brown seats ✅ bullet decal ❓brown panels, but likely

on the way to edinburgh: ❌ black seats ✅ bullet decal ❌ black panels

arrival in edinburgh: ❌ black seats ✅ bullet decal ❌ black panels

okay, well, he changed the bodywork and hubcaps too, so this makes sense. but black? for aziraphale? feels somewhat like it's a compromise; he's gone ostentatious on the outside, literally the colour of crowley's eyes, but red leather for the interior... is a little much. so he compromises - keeps the decals (to honour his knight in turtleneck armour), but changes the inside to a cool, suave black. very 007.

but then we go to ep4, and specifically when aziraphale is accosted by shax. now, clear point to remember - shax has to have permission to enter, and compared to ep2 when she asks but materialises inside anyway, she now waits for aziraphale to acquiesce. this is the difference between a demon's car, and a demon-and-angel-couple-who-arent-quite-yet-a-couple-but-thats-just-semantics' car. by this point, crowley has accepted, agreed, that it is their car.

hitchhiker: ❌ black seats ✅ bullet decal ❌ black panels

return to soho: ❌ black seats ✅ bullet decal ❌ black panels

ep5 carries on in much the same way as the end of ep4 - crowley has not changed anything since edinburgh, ❌ black seats ✅ bullet decal ❌ black panels (not pictured, but can be seen in the same bit as the first pic):

and then ep6, beloved. again, nothing has changed. crowley's window is, however, rolled down in the departure scene, so the decal can't be accounted for. that being said, im fairly sure we can be certain it's there (and i have a thought about why it's rolled down but tbh it's so arbitrary that it's barely worth mentioning imo). in any case, ❌ black seats ❓ bullet decal ❌ black panels:

now i know there's the whole separate thing about the exterior changing from light grey to dark grey/black, but tbh i think that is going to be down to the continuity issue with the original bentley used in s1. as for neil's answers on his asks, here and here... look. could be something of nothing, but i don't think personally it's a wider conspiracy; i think it could be just be either that yeah, maybe some of my colour assignments in the above screenshots are wrong, or he's doing his parent-teacher-writing thing of what do you think?

maybe not, maybe it was a continuity issue, and we just have to apply hc to this to get an explanation.

well, mine is just simply that it's not a nefarious issue or mucking about with time etc... i think crowley just accepted aziraphale's ownership, and whilst he drew the line at yellow bodywork (the respectable choice imo, tbh), he kept everything else.

#good omens #sanctuary/bentley theory #aziraphale meta #crowley meta #s1 meta #s2 meta #flashback meta #exactly 0 people asked for this but fuck it this is my house

[its-rat-time-babey]

HOLY SHIT BETA GLITCH TECHS DESIGNS!

I found a YouTube channel called Glitch Techs Archive that has a bunch of leaked Glitch Techs stuff. Mostly various bits of the only surviving piece of the 2020 pilot episode, but there’s also the way cooler 2015 Pilot stuff, With a full Pilot Episode (In animatic form) and an archived TRAILER for the 2015 Glitch Techs.

Please watch it it’s so cool.

Anyways here’s a bunch of Beta Glitch Techs stuff i saw in the trailer (and 2015 Pilot but the Trailer has better visuals):

First off: The animation is COMPLETELY different.

Looks nothing like the Glitch Techs we got to see.

Also that’s what Five Miko and BITT look like.

I guess if you squint you can see the similarities between Beta Five and Regular Five, but i just have to ask what HAPPENED to Miko and BITT in between 2015 and 2020. I love the look of the beta and regular designs an equal amount but that is a MASSIVELY changed design.

Also in the 2015 Beta (and the 2020 Pilot actually) Five starts off as a Glitch Tech, albeit one that’s still in training, while Miko doesn’t, being hired due to her Reset Immunity by the end of the first episode. His father is also mentioned in the Pilot (“im just glad your father isnt here to see this”) so he could have had ANY sort of backstory at this point.

Also, BITT is completely different in design, personality and function. In the Beta, BITT is a Tech Training Bot that accompanies Five on missions because he’s still in training. He also acts like a human being instead of purely robotic.

Beta BITT here also explains a small meta thing about actual BITT: Despite BITT standing for “Binary Intelligence Tech Trainer”, BITT in the show doesn’t do much Tech Training, mostly just keeping the HQ running on his own with the only training he does being done in episode 1. So why is “Tech Trainer” such an important part of him that it takes up half of his acronym?

Because his Beta Version WAS a full time Tech Training Bot and during production he was either changed or merged with a character that did regular BITT’s job of running HQ and he kept his original name!

Also The Tech Outfits and Armour look completely different as well with Five and Miko having their own colour schemes.

And finally, a very cool detail found in the trailer: Glitches in 2015 were originally going to have their own unique artstyles that they would keep when they escaped from games!

Seen here is the Rock Wizard (a glitch found in both the 2020 and 2015 Pilots and the 2015 trailer, but never actually seen in the show) and a Beta Version of Chomp Kitty. The 2015 Rock Wizard is 3D animated and Chomp Kitty looks more pixelated (while also somewhat fitting into the show’s artstyle). In other words: Glitches keep their in-game artstyle when they leave their games!

Also Beta Phil:

This feels wrong to look at so I had to inflict it on all of you. (also: does anyone think he looks a bit like some of the younger Phil pictures seen in BITT Prime?)

And finally: Bolypius? Or a more sinister and villainous Hinobi Company?

I also found the original Pitch Bible from 2015, which has its own interesting stuff in it, but it deserves its own post.

#glitch techs #beta techs #LOOK AT THIS

[laurialartsandvids]

i know i know! its been a hot minute since i posted, but i SWEAR ive been drawing. in fact, i can post 4 DRAWINGS TODAY! i was inspired by fortnite of all things to make OCs loosely based off of ancient greek gods. feel free to not read the rest of the yappity text unless you care about my thought process, you can just look at the spilly pictures

!!!DISCLAIMER!!! im not a scholar on greek lore nor do i even try to be accurate in any way, if anything you can consider these queer OCS with parallels. im not trying to step on any toes here but if you have a genuine complaint dont be afraid to leave a CIVIL one in the comments please.

|hermetikles(he/they)|

this was my first one and it was based loosely around hermes. at this point i havent really figured out what i wanted to do so i kinda just made a design i thought looked neat and drew it. i did intentionally give him an extra pair of small wings on his legs for extra speed. also they have a sentient bag, i thought that would be fun and also messenger)

|aeyron(he/him)|

so this one is based off of eros. you might be able to tell by now a pattern of me kinda wanting to make a more 'modern' clothing style for the OCs, and yes thats kind of intentional. i later on decided i wanted to have a mix of what could be considered more stereotypically ancient greek styles(like that golden shoulder pad thing and the white robe/cape) but also other clothing styles i felt fit and that i liked. i felt the red hair fit because that kind of dark red evokes feelings of romance to me, and the tied up hair kinda looks like love hearts if you squint hard enough.

|nethaea(she/her)|

this one is based off of athena and probably the design i put the most thought into. first of all, owl mask and theming on the helmet: apparently according to my 5 minutes of wikipedia research that is a common athena symbol, so i added those here. the purple kind of sash thing and the blue scarf/tie thing around her neck is based around what judges wear. so athena from what i know is described as someone able to make logical decisions and someone knowledgeable, so i thought making her a judge kind of character makes sense. that said, the helmet and armour still nods to her being a badass godess of war, but in my imagination she would be more of a war strategist/planner now instead of being on the front lines. you might notice by her appearance that she takes a lot of similarities from a hazbin hotel character: yes, this is intentional. sera was a big inspiration for this design.

|apheno(they/them)|

apheno is based off of apollo. i made this one just today but im not so sure about it so idk i might update it. first of all, the blue hair and fur on the shoes/coat: because apollo is associated with and god of the sun, i thought giving him a kind of sky theme by making the fur and hair look like clouds would fit. this sun ordeal also inspires the orangeness of the coat and that spiky yellow design on it, which is supposed to be like a rising sun. there is also the bow which isnt too special but an inclusion i thought neccesary since apollo is also known as the god of archery.

-------------------------------------------------------

okay im done! i might make more of these, but for now these are the four i have made. ive also been designing lore and stuff for these but its far from being anything solid so no sharing for now! this is my first big post like this so i dont know how to sign these off, uhhhh lmao!

#oc #oc art #original character #Spotify

[worstloki]

Imagine Mobius and TVA are fed up with Loki's antics. But they need him. They have to keep him busy something. Mobius comes up with an idea to kidnap some fan of Loki from our reality. How would you act towards Loki and TVA if TVA kidnapped you to be company for God of Mischief? How do you think Loki would act towards you?

okay so first off I want to deck the TVA agent that separated him from the Tesseract

#this is a peculiar ask #so what would *I* specifically do? #first off im taking pictures of his armour #maybe working towards stealing it if there's a spare pair somewhere #the details need to be known #second off expecting me to be on team 'loki should work with the TVA' is... not the wisest plan #i want to burn mobius' tie #is that an optio #n #the Loki show #loki spoilers #loki show spoilers #honestly i think loki would just end up confused as to why someone who doesn't want loki to work for the TVA is supposedly making him do so #overall weird scenario #i'm afraid i don't do reader insert stuff so

[writingthingsisdifficult]

Home

Feeling alone on your birthday? Check. Drinking too much to hide those feelings? Check. Accidentally both yelling at and declaring your feelings for Mando? Check. Oops.

Din Djarin x female reader

It was my birthday a couple of weeks ago, and the day wasn’t optimal, so this little idea formed. I'd be super stoked if you let me know what you think. :)

Word count: 5043

________________________________________________________________

It was your birthday. A day for eating and drinking and celebrating with friends and family, but you had neither. Still, the day had been okay, you supposed, but you couldn't shake off the loneliness and sadness that accompanied it. When you were younger, you always looked forward to the day, and even during the war your parents managed to scrounge up a celebration of sorts.

But that was years ago. Now your friends were gone, your parents were gone, hell, even your home planet was gone, and your birthday served only as a bittersweet reminder, reduced to longing, heartache, and waiting for the inevitable end.

The music was loud enough that it drowned out the other patrons in the bar, allowing you to drink and wallow in self-pity in peace, just like you had planned, and you were deep enough in the bottle that the mental wall that protected your emotions started crumbling.

Being miserable at home was bad enough, and you were seriously starting to regret the decision to even go outside today. Somehow the loneliness punched you in the head once the third glass was empty and you noticed how crowded the bar was. No one else seemed to be alone.

Your circle of friends had never been large, and it became even smaller during the war. Then it slowly thinned as people got older; getting jobs in transport, or starting families. Some just moved away. Eventually it became harder to keep in touch. Life. Life was what happened.

You sniffed into your glass, coughing a little when the fumes hit the back of your nose. There was still one friend, though. But he wasn't in town at the moment. He wasn't even on the planet.

Yeah, the music was loud, but not loud enough to drown out the thoughts that popped into your head. You had sort of promised yourself that you wouldn't think about Mando tonight, but as with all such promises, Brain was a big, fat liar.

As the hours ticked by, his face, well, helmet, showed up in your mind over and over, no matter how many times you shoved him down. Then his voice echoed in your ears; that soft, yet commanding voice that sent shivers down your spine. And his laugh�� quiet sometimes, but always sincere. Fuck, you missed him so much! A new lump caught in your throat, and you swallowed hard and traced a line through the condensation on your glass.

How long had it been? He left right before your last birthday, you knew he had a job to do, but he promised to come visit again when he had earned enough money to take a break.

Weeks turned to months. Nothing unusual there, but when the year mark approached, you grew worried. You were always worried, to be honest, considering his line of work, but he had never been gone this long without so much as a message before.

"Well, happy birthday to me," you muttered with a sigh and drained the glass, wincing as the liquid burned down your throat, but the numbness that followed spread over you like a blanket. “Hey Briswig!” You waved your glass in his general direction. “Help me out, will ya?”

The bartender put down his towel, picked up a bottle. and sauntered over to you. “Don’t you think you’ve had enough?” He asked and poured a generous amount into your glass.

Shaking your head vigorously, you almost fell off the stool. “Nooooo! Not enough, I think you mean.”

Briswig smiled, then shook his head. “I can barely understand what you’re saying. It’s too early to be this wasted, Y/N. Shouldn’t you be at work or something? Why are you even here?”

“Din’t you know? ‘S my birthday.”

"It is? Happy birthday!" He cocked his head a bit and frowned. "You've been drinking alone all day." It was innocent enough, but it stung more than you wanted to admit.

You wafted him away and grimaced. "So? Not everybody is a social champ. Took the day off to drown my sorrows. See?" Lifting the glass again, you saluted him and took a big gulp. Most of the liquid went down the wrong pipe, and you coughed hard. The alcohol stung in your nose.

Handing you a napkin, Briswig patted your arm. “You don’t have to drink alone, you know.”

Rolling your eyes, you emptied the rest of the glass in one go and used the sleeve of your jacket to wipe your mouth. “Well, I would if I had any friends. All my friends are dead.” Or not even on the planet, you added in your head. “Do you know how hard it is to make new friends when you’re an adult? And I’m not very good at it in the first place.”

Briswig grimaced. “Go home, Y/N. You’ve had more than enough. Go home and sleep. You’ll thank me in the morning.”

You answered with a small pout. “Are you kicking me out? On my birthday?”

He smiled and left the bar to collect glasses. “You know what? Yes, yes I am. It’s not healthy wallowing like you do right now. Take an early night, get the day over with faster, right? Go home. Or do I have to call the bouncer on you?”

Glancing over at the burly trandoshan by the door, you sighed in defeat and hopped off the stool, almost knocking it over and bumping into the bartender. "Yeah, yeah. I'm going." You blew a raspberry and waved dismissively at him.

He chuckled and stepped aside so you could pass safely. You still stumbled. "You'll feel better tomorrow," he repeated, way too cheerfully for your taste.

"Bah!"

"See you next week, Y/N."

"Screw you!" And you meant it. He had come between you and your alcohol. For all you cared he could jump into a sarlacc-pit.

"I know you love me."

"Only because you provide me with my preferred poison, Briswig."

"Sleep tight."

The afternoon breeze was pleasant. It was still early enough in the year that the temperatures were tolerable, and the summer humidity hadn't kicked in just yet.

You sighed and snorted at the same time. How dared the day be so likeable? One day, you thought, you would jump on board one of those spaceships, travel the universe, find the one responsible for it all, and then punch them in the face. Or yell at them. Or at least hand them a strongly worded letter. You had never been fond of confrontations.

The sudden rush of air from the door pushed you forward, forcing you to sidestep. A stroke of luck and unexpected reflexes stopped your face from impacting with the wall, though your hands stung from the scrapes on you palm.

"Oh. Heh. Sorry. Din't see y' there." The words stumbled out of your mouth, and you looked at the wall in front of you and trying to make sense of it. "Well, don't let me interrupt." You patted the red brick and turned the other way, only to smack your head on a shiny breastplate. "'Pologies. Nice armour." You thought for a second. "I knew an armour once. He was nice too." You closed your eyes and pictured Mando in your mind. "I'd kick his butt," you muttered with a scowl, "if I could just catch him. Give him a few choice words for leaving me alone, that fucker. You understand, don't you?"

The armour started to say something, but you cut it off.

"He better come back soon." You fought to focus. It was harder than you anticipated. You weren't that drunk, were you? Or at least, you hadn't been when you'd been seated at the bar. Seated. Oh. "Now, where was I? Oh, yeah, don't suppose you've seen a Mandalorian sneaking around? I, I don't mean jus' any Mandalorian, you know." The eyes looking back at you from the shiny armour-mirror-thing glittered as you tapped the hard surface. "I mean my Mandalorian."

The armour didn't respond.

"You'd like him," you continued, not noticing the way the helmet tilted when you spoke, or how it chuckled when you interrupted every time they tried to speak. "He’s kind and funny and so soft on the inside -“ Putting a finger to your lips, you smiled conspiratorially. “Shhh… don’t tell ‘im that I said that. He likes people to think he’s hard.” The smile turned dopey. “He is hard.  Could probably take anyone in a fight. He’s a total badass. Ooh, his ass. That’s a fine ass.”

"My Mandalorian is fantabulous," you said, grinning to hide the lump in your throat. If the waterworks started now, you wouldn't have the sober strength to stop. "Absolutely marvelsome. And he always makes me smile, you know. He’s perfect. I hate him. Makes me feel like I can fly."

A loud sigh escaped you, and you blinked one eye at the time. "Damn that man. Off on his adventures and leaving me behind like that. Look at this place. It's a dump! If I could, I'd jump on a spaceship and never ever come back." The thought of Mando stung in your heart. "I love him, y'know," you muttered to the breastplate. "Stupid Mando with his stupid, shiny armour." You hiccoughed a sob and swallowed. "I miss 'im." Blinking again, you stepped sideways to let the stranger pass, and almost stumbled into a trash bin. "Well, it's nice to meet you, armour."

"Y/N…" The voice showed a mix of amusement and something else you definitely were too drunk to recognise.

But hearing your own name immediately shut you up. For a moment the voice was just a disembodied memory, so familiar, but you just couldn't figure it out. Slowly, you looked around, before finally lifting your eyes. "Mando!" A wide smile spread over your face. "Where did you come from? I didn't see you, there."

It was difficult to decipher him, what with the armour and all, and even more so now you had all but inhaled Briswig's entire collection of fine, fine alcohol, but he looked happy to see you. You hoped he looked happy to see you.

Taking his gloved hand, using it to pull yourself closer, you finally put your arms around him, snuggling his hard shell, though in your state it didn't feel hard at all.

"I missed you," you mumbled into his pauldron, the sound of your voice somewhat muffled by the metal.

He squeezed you tight with one arm, leaning his head against yours. "Yeah, me too."

Forcing yourself to let go, you still lingered with your hand on his arm. "Hm? Shall we go for a walk? The suns don't set for a while yet. Or better: do you have anything to drink?"

"You think you should have any more now?" he asked as you crashed into the bin again. The only reason you didn't tumble over it and land on your butt was because he still held onto you.

"Yeah! Duh!"

He shook his head. "Let’s get you to bed.”

“But the suns are still up.” Confusion fizzed in your head. It was too early to sleep.

“I know, but I think you need some rest. We can talk tomorrow.”

“Are you sure?” You pulled back a little bit.

"Positive," Mando said, offering his arm as support. "You're so drunk you can barely stand. Can't have you starting a fight with the wall."

"What? Why? What did it say about me?" You balled your fist, tugging out of his grip to punch the bricks.

"Don't worry about it." He laughed quietly. "Come on." He took you gently by the elbow, leading you through the streets, making sure you wouldn’t fall and hurt yourself. Based on the collision with the trash can, there were already bruises forming on your thighs.

Being next to Mando was the only thing that made the day tolerable. You cherished the touch of his hand on your elbow, grinning stupidly, not quite aware of your surroundings, but still awake enough that you could account for yourself, and try to keep a conversation.  Leaning heavily on him, you snuggled into his side. You could stay like this forever. “Mando. My Mando,” you muttered with a stupid grin. It wasn’t strictly true, but you were too drunk to care.

“Din. My name is Din,” he replied quietly.

You stopped abruptly. "Whoa!" It took a few seconds for your brain to unscramble. “Your name is Din.” Pause. You hiccoughed. “‘S pretty.”

“Thanks, I guess,” Din answered.

You took his arm again, an extra sway in your step. “Din. My Din,” you muttered, clearly trying to be quiet enough that he didn’t hear it. He did.

Though the ship no longer held the same feeling of home for Din - kriff, he missed the Crest - it was closer than the flat you called home. To be honest he wasn’t even sure if you even lived there anymore, and you weren’t providing answers; mumbling and humming happily. You were a happy drunk. Din smiled under his helmet. He should have come back long ago and whisked you away.

To be honest, he didn’t catch more than half of what you said, you were too intoxicated to make much sense, and most came out as gibberish anyway. But he DID catch the part where you said you missed him, and you had mumbled something about his stupid armour and his stupid butt, and he couldn’t ignore the feeling of elation that coursed through him.

Had you been sober, well, more sober, he would’ve told you how he felt, but for now he was more concerned with keeping you safe. There would be a day tomorrow too.

The ramp creaked and clanked heavily when it hit the ground.

“Wait, wait, wait,” you protested once you processed the sight, squinting at the entrance. “This isn’t the Crest?”

Din shook his head and looked at the new ship. It was shinier, newer, probably better, but it didn’t have the personality. “I lost it,” he replied bitterly. He still felt that pang of sadness every time the old ship was mentioned. “I haven’t decided if I’m going to keep this one yet.”

You patted the dusty exterior and nodded. “You should. Feels sturdy, ummm, keep you safe.”

He smiled a half smile. You seemed to approve. Maybe he could get used to the new ship after all.  

“You can sleep in here,” he said, pointing with his free arm to a narrow alcove when you had made your way through the ship and into the private quarters.

“Noooo…” you sing-song protested. “It’s still light. An’m not tired.”

“Say that to your droopy eyelids,” he retorted. “And it’s dark in here; who cares what it’s like outside anyway.”

He had a point. And you were tired. Almost immediately, once you admitted that fact to yourself, you started swaying. Din had to grip you tighter to keep you from falling nose first to the floor.  It was so hard to stay awake, even though you fought with all you had. The yawn that followed almost split your face in two. “Mmmm…”

“At least wait until you’re lying down,” Din grunted, thrown a bit off-kilter by your sudden deadweight. He hoisted you up to get a better grip so he could guide you to the bed. It was more dragging than walking, since you had apparently decided to sleep standing up.

“Come on, my drunk one. Let’s get you into bed, alright?” The only answer he got was a quiet, drawn-out hum that he interpreted as a yes, more out of necessity than anything else.

He lowered you down on the edge of the small sleeping alcove, and you sat - for a whole three seconds, before flopping backwards, landing with your head in the middle of the mattress and your legs still on the floor. Moments later you were snoring lightly.

Din looked at you with a gentle smile on his lips. You looked serene, like a sleeping angel, but that crooked angle of your neck couldn’t be comfortable. He’d fallen asleep many awkward places when he needed to, but waking up was always a stiff and painful experience.

So he grabbed your legs and tried to slide you onto the bed. No good. Your body twisted like a noodle. “Dank farrik! A little cooperation would be good,” he muttered, warranting a small sigh of content from you, almost making him forget what he was doing.

“Right. So…” He shook himself and cleared his throat. This was going to be more difficult than he thought.

Reaching over you, he hooked his arms under yours and pulled. Lacking the leverage, he slipped and almost landed on top of you, only just managing to get a hand loose in time to catch himself, and smacking his head on the wall in the process. The sound reverberated in his helmet, and the fact that you didn’t even react made him a bit worried.  He would definitely have to check on you during the night.

What now? There was only one possibility left, and the thought sent heat to the back of his neck. The first attempt was fruitless. His helmet scraped against the low ceiling, and the bulkiness of his armour restricted his movement too much. With a jolt to his stomach, he realised that he would have to remove it. Was he ready for that? Maybe. After all, you were sleeping, and - if things went the way he had planned, he would soon show you his face anyway. But it was a big step. He thought for a second; one that he was willing to take for the sake of your comfort.

Returning to a dark corner, he began unfastening the clasps that fixed his breastplate in place. Then his arms and legs. Only when all the other armour were gone, leaving him feeling bare and vulnerable, he lifted his helmet off and placed it in one of the small wall niches. It fit perfectly.

Inhaling deeply, then exhaling, he stepped into the light again. You were still sleeping, and seeing you with his own eyes instead of through the visor almost brought him to his knees. He knew then, that unless you told him to, he would never have the strength to leave you again.

Suddenly he was struck by guilt. Could he really offer to take you away, to remove you from the safety and calm of having your own place? Wouldn’t he be ripping your roots right from the soil? A life on board the ship, with him, would be no easy life.

But hadn’t you, in your drunkenness, told him that this planet felt more like a prison than a home? The Crest had been his home once. Maybe, with you at his side, this ship could become home too.

Din gently climbed into the alcove, positioning himself with his knees on either side of your hips, careful to not touch you more than necessary. This way he had enough room, and enough strength to pull your drunken body all the way in.

Satisfied that you weren’t lying crooked anymore, he scooted out and off the bed. He then pulled off your boots and tucked the blanket securely around you.

With a sudden ache in his heart, he was reminded of Grogu, but quickly told himself that leaving the kid with the Jedi was for the best. Still, he was going to make damn sure he didn’t lose you too. With a final pat on your knee, he switched off the light and left you to sleep.

_______________________________________________________________

Some mudhorn was stomping on your head when you woke up. "Hnnnggg… I’m definitely dying. And if not, someone better hurry up and make it happen!” You weren’t ready to get out of bed yet, but it wasn’t a very comfortable position, and your tongue felt drier than the sand dunes on Tatooine. You muttered a curse and tried to turn over on your side, only to face the wall too quickly. You cursed your inexplicable ability to curl up in the smallest of corners in your sleep. Slowly, ignoring the creaking joints, you unfurled and stretched.

"Hey,” a gentle voice said from somewhere up above you.

Okay, so you weren't alone. That was… unusual. You opened your eyes and almost choked on your tongue.

Mando was there. “Good morning,” he said softly.

“Not particularly,” you croaked, wiping sleep crust from your eyes. To be honest you weren't a hundred percent sure he wasn't some alcohol fuelled hallucination.

“Well, here.” He handed you a bowl and a spoon.

The bowl was hot, and the contents steaming, and it smelled better than most space rations you’d seen before. To be honest, you were starving; craving those delicious carbohydrates to chase the alcohol out of your system.

And, when your brain finally started working again, you noticed that he wasn’t wearing a full armour. Helmet, of course, but other than that, only a soft pair of trousers and a thin shirt.  If you didn’t know better, you would say he had just gotten out of bed. But then… where were you?

Squinting, you peered around the room. A soft mattress, comfy blankets, a grey metal wall that was dotted with rust and dust. The light was dim, but warm. This wasn't home. And it wasn't the Crest.

Din coughed, you thought, a bit awkwardly, but as long as he was there, he could be as awkward as he wanted. “How’s the hangover?”

“Massive.”

“Eat.” He nodded to the bowl. "And drink this. It'll help."

You noticed the bottle in his hands. Putting the food down on the mattress, careful to not spill a drop, you took the bottle with a grateful smile. The cool liquid ran down your throat with such deliciousness that you had to bite down a moan. “Thank you.” You shook the bottle. It was empty.

“So, drinking alone, huh? That can’t be good for you.” He sat down on a crate.

You chuckled darkly and blew on the spoon before sticking it in your mouth. It was good. “Heh, well… who else would I be drinking with? You weren't there to keep me in check.".

Mando didn't say anything, he just watched as you ate.

You wished you knew how disappointed he looked underneath that helmet. When he wasn't talking, it was impossible to gauge the level of your humiliation. "Great." You squeezed your eyes shut and grimaced, preparing yourself for the mental blow, then you opened one eye and looked up at him. "What did I do? Please tell me I didn’t do anything stupid yesterday!” You searched your memory, jumping over huge, black holes, feeling more anxious with each void you passed.

“You didn’t. Well, you did try to start a fight with a wall, but that was partly my fault, I guess. And you talked a lot. Not that I understood all of it, you were pretty wasted. Hard to interpret, too.” He laughed loudly.

You groaned and hid your face in your hands. “Really? Crap! Listen, Mando -“

“I told you: my name is Din.”

Your brain stopped for a second. “…your name is Din.”

“Funny. That’s the same thing you said yesterday.” There was amusement in his voice.

Heat crept up your neck and blossomed around your ears. “Just unexpected, is all.” You briefly wondered about the implications of this, but decided to worry about that later. Your head hurt too much to think. “I like it. It’s a good name. Suits you.”

“Thanks.” Din grinned. You were never one to make a big deal of something. He liked that. "I'll let you freshen up. The bathroom is down the passageway and to the right. I’ve filled the freshwater tanks, so use what you need. I’ll be in the cockpit.”

“Thank you.” The food was still warm, and it filled your stomach nicely. That, combined with the water, your headache had receded to a dull thumping just behind your eyes. Bearable.

________________________________________________________________

Clean and feeling a thousand times better, you climbed the ladder to the cockpit, eager to hang out with Din - you couldn’t believe he told you his name! - before he had to fly off to his next job.

“Now it’s a good morning,” you said as a greeting after knocking to let him know you were there.

Din nodded. He was waiting for you, comfortably sprawled in the pilot seat, and gestured for you to sit when you remained by the door.

"So –" you started.

"Listen –" Din said at the same time.

"Go ahead."

“I…” He hesitated, suddenly uncertain how to proceed. “I should’ve come back much sooner. But the job… things… got in the way. I’ve… This past year has been…”

You blinked. This was unexpected. Your stomach tickled; a small hope blossomed in your chest. The way he danced around what he really wanted to say: you knew Din. He either had some really bad news, or… Your cheeks twitched, but you forced yourself to be calm.

“The moment I jumped into hyperspace, I realised that I didn’t want to leave.” He paused again, suddenly convinced he’d imagined all the things you said the day before. “I -“

You put your hand on his. “I didn’t want you to leave either.”

Din sat back. “I was…” he began, rubbing the back of his neck and searching for words. “Things happened. I had planned on returning after the job, but then…”

“Life happened”, you offered, and he nodded.

“Yeah. I needed more money, one job followed the other, and suddenly I had a responsibility other than myself.”

Your heart sank, feeling the weight of what he was saying. He’d found someone. Settled down. “Congratulations,” you said, but you didn’t really mean it.

“What?”

“You have a family now."

“A foundling. For a while we were a clan of two. But he couldn’t stay with me. This isn't a life for a kid. I was tasked with bringing him to his own people. And I did. He's… he's with someone who can train him now." His voice cracked and he swallowed hard.

Utter heartbreak radiated from him. You reached for him, but changed your mind, placing your hand awkwardly on your knee.

Din sighed. He needed to do this, now. The short rush of air from the release of his helmet rang in his ears. Keeping his eyes on you while he lifted it, he held his breath - afraid for your reaction.

The moment you realised what Din was doing, all air left your lungs. How often had you not imagined him without his armour, without the protective barrier between him and the world? Pictured his mouth, his eyes, how his face must shine when he laughed… Mandalorians simply did not remove their helmets, and if they did, they could never put it back on, and now he was letting you see him.

“…Din.” Your voice was a gentle warning.

He stopped mid-movement; chin just visible under the bottom edge.

You continued before he could say anything. “I’ve wanted to see you since the day we met. But please don’t break your creed for me. I’m not worth it.”

“I’m not,” he said, voice raw and emotional. “I want to look at you with my own eyes. Please. There is so much I’ve learned since… and this…” He lifted the helmet off, revealing his face to you with a smile and glistening eyes. “You areworth it.”

Never in a million years had you imagined how it would feel. His face was so gentle. Before you could stop yourself, you put your hand on his cheek. The rough stubbles tickled, but the skin was soft underneath, and the warmth spread through your body.

Din leaned into your touch and closed his eyes. "I have so much to tell you." He opened his eyes again. They were an abyss, and you felt yourself drowning.

Suddenly aware of yourself, your hand dropped back into your lap. "I have all the time in the world." It was barely a whisper, but you both heard the true meaning as if it was shouted. I'm with you to the edge of the universe and back.

"I should've come back before. But I was afraid. Afraid you would say no, but I just couldn't stop thinking about you. Cara hit me over the head more than once, practically ordering me to go back." He exhaled through his nose and smiled. What was it she used to say? What, are you stupid? Go to her. You're so CLEARLY in love, it's disgusting. "But then I found out Moff Gideon was involved too, and I couldn't let him near you. If, if you had been hurt because of him, I would never forgive myself. But he can't hurt you now."

Getting to his feet, he walked around the chair and stopped in front of you. Crouching down, he took both your hands in his, brushing his lips over your knuckles. "Were you serious when you said you would leave this planet if you could?

Not daring to look away, in case this was all a dream, you nodded and squeaked out a thin "Yeah." The sound took you by surprise, and you barked a laugh, breaking the tension in the small room.

Din laughed too, and gave you a crooked smile that almost made you slide off the seat. "I could use a co-pilot," he offered with a wink.

Looking dramatically around the room, you shrugged. "I can't fly."

"Well, company then," he replied, opening his arms to you.

You sank into his embrace, leaning forward with such force that he toppled backwards, pulling you with him. He didn't let go, and you landed on top of him, nose to nose, and with a vague feeling of your skin being on fire.

His warmth and scent enveloped you, and when he leaned up to gently press his lips against yours, thousands of tiny stars skipped over your body, leaving flames in their wake. This was not a time to be gentle, and you dipped down to mould yourself against him. You were home.  

#mandalorian fanfic #din djarin x reader #the mandalorian #home #fanfiction #fluff #drunkenness #alcohol #writing is hard

[thorniest-rose]

BROOKE. Your ballet dancer!Daniel au idea was already making me feral but the samson/delilah dyanmic???? im weak. im languishing. my ex-catholic heart can't take the inherent eroticism of vulnerability and strength juxtaposed and switched. Pls give me some headcanons for this verse to revive me, I'm begging you

ohhhh thank you so much!!! It's definitely an idea I've been thinking about a lot recently. I just have this picture in my head of hardened MMA fighter Johnny who can defeat anyone he faces and who’s so closed off emotionally he doesn’t let anyone close to him. But then he meets Daniel again, who’s this willowy little ballet dancer, and Daniel becomes the one thing that cracks through all his armour. That makes him feel vulnerable for the first time in years. I guess it's like a Beauty and the Beast scenario, except Johnny doesn't see tenderness as a way of becoming human again, but as something that will kill him. While Daniel, who is gentle and beautiful, may have more going on behind his doelike eyes than he lets on. And like you say, it’s that contrast of strength and vulnerability, and the ambiguity of who’s really in control, that makes it such an enticing idea! Because people who know our hearts are the ones who are so intimately equipped with the tools of destroying us.

I haven’t had time to write hcs tonight but I will over the next couple of days! 💜

#asks #lawrusso

[ancientwastedlores]

Undone by “Darling”

REQUEST (from @november-solarstorms​): Celebrating another year of this earth being braced by Tom Hiddleston's presence! Lol. Might I make a prompt request? I feel as though it would be interesting to read from Loki's POV to explore the dynamics between him and a human female who is just as intelligent as he. She has a sharp wit and even sharper tongue. Her sarcastic and clever nature enable her to out-banter Tony Stark, the king of snark himself (may he rest in peace). But she is also just as flirtatious and salacious. She never blushes, never falters, and is incredibly clever. You can decide the nature of their encounter. Really im just in it for a good game of cat and mouse.

A/N: Okay, I had SO MUCH FUN writing this!! And yeah, this will run a bit longer than my usual fics lol. Also, there IS a Loki POV, just keep reading thaaanks <3

WARNINGS: none. 

WORD COUNT: 1,932

____________________________________________________________________

Undone by “Darling” 

17 hours and 6 white chocolate mochas later, it was finally ready - an upgraded version of Corvus Glaive’s glaive, this one spec-ed out to your fancies and requirements. It was a beast, and definitely not something Nick Fury would ever let you play around with, even if you made it. 

Satisfied with your work, you remove your safety goggles and grin at Stark, who is working on his own weapon he scavenged from the Black Order. 

‘I’m done!’ you say triumphantly, causing him to look up and groan.  ‘How did you finish before me!?’ he lowers his glasses and looks at your weapon.  ‘I’m smarter’ you say.   ‘I went to MIT’  ‘And I didn’t, yet here we are, both in the same lab’. 

He shakes his head, not unlike a petulant child, causing you to laugh. 

‘How far along are you?’ you ask.  ‘Still running diagnostics’.  ‘Still!?’  ‘Have you seen the size of his hammer?’ he gestures to Cull Obsidian’s chain hammer on his work table, but the innuendo doesn’t escape you and you grin at him. He facepalms. ‘Y/n, for god’s sake...’  ‘You’re just tired, or you’d appreciate the joke too’. 

You stretch your weary body and let out a deep breath. You’d test the weapon out tomorrow, but for now, you need a nap. 

‘Take a load off, Stark. Hammer’ll be there tomorrow’.  ‘Oh, you’d like that wouldn’t you...’ he puts his goggles back on and get to work. 

xx

Loki’s POV: 

Humans are surprising, but I always knew that. I never thought them boring, even if my brother says I do. Humans are of so little power but such incredible resilience that it’s frankly astonishing. I am inclined to believe that sometimes resilience is just stupidity... in most cases, I am right. But that’s not to say I haven’t come across some truly brave people. 

Take the Avengers Tower, for example. 

Just in here, you have Y/n, a brave soldier with the mind of an intergalactic scavenger, and I do mean that as a compliment. She’s awfully clever, she can build better than Stark, and has a track record of finishing every mission to perfection and before time. And then you have the Super Soldier Steve Rogers, a big muscled, big hearted idiot who often mistakes challenging our enemies for bravery and morality. 

The two couldn’t be more different, but they get along like siblings. Not siblings like Thor and I... better adjusted, perhaps. 

They sit in front of me, talking about some mission while they play Chess. Her moves are quick but calculated, his take more time because he’s more interested in telling his story than playing the game. 

‘...so there I am, no weapons, no shield, bang in the middle of the Serpent Citadel...’ 

He’s a good storyteller, I’ll give him that. But not as good as Y/n. She paints quite a picture, full of delicious gory details and horribly dark jokes. 

‘Steve, you have to pay attention, you’re losing’ she says.  ‘Yeah, I don’t actually know how to play chess, I just wanted you to listen to my story’. 

She looks up at him, almost offended. ‘STEVE...’  ‘Cool, I’m gonna go wrap Stark into a game of Battleships and tell him about my fight with Copperhead’. 

She laughs as he leaves the room, and she puts the chess pieces away. 

‘We could play?’ I ask her.  ‘Is the God in a mood to lose?’  ‘Over confidence isn’t attractive in anybody’. ‘Oh darling, neither is telling someone what is and isn’t attractive’. 

She’s never called me that before, and in the context it should seem cutting, but it isn’t. ‘Darling?’  ‘Problem?’  ‘It’s quite a term of endearment to set someone straight’. 

She says nothing. 

‘Cat got your tongue?’ I tease her. She only smiles and continues putting the pieces away neatly. Stark’s chess set is gold and black, all individually carved pieces. The pawns are all Iron Man suits, but that’s to be expected. She handles them with the care Stark would. 

‘I mean...’ I continue, ‘honestly, if someone heard, they’d never let you live it down’. 

And she carries on, unbothered. 

‘Y/n!’  ‘Oh dear, look at you come completely undone with just one term of endearment’ she comments, shutting the chess set. ‘Whatever would happen if I held your hand?’ 

The very thought of it seemed to drain my brain of blood. I unwillingly glanced at her hands, working the lock mechanism of the box, her blue veins prominent. 

‘Cat got your tongue?’ she asked. 

I stood up, the human emotion of embarrassment becoming too familiar for me. ‘I’ll have to see you at lunch’.  ‘Sure, darling’. 

Oh, I hate how she’s enjoying this. 

----------

The next day, Y/n booked a training room to test out the Glaive, and Stark had a rusty but working chain hammer. Steve insists on trying it out anyway, and now our breakfast is being spent on discouraging him from doing that. 

‘Guys... if nothing else, I’ll still have my shield. Let me test it out!’  ‘Y/n’s glaive cuts through Vibranium, you know that, right?’ Stark says.  ‘Y/n wouldn’t do that’. ‘Oh yes she would’ Y/n says nonchalantly as she sinks her teeth into a bacon and egg sandwich. 

As she does, the yolk runs down her fingers. She makes a sound at the inconvenience and sets the sandwich down, then grabs a napkin. I’m hardly ever crude, but the energy it took not to take her hand and lick off the yolk myself could burn every star in the galaxy. 

Captain America scrunches his nose at her remark, severely offended. 

‘In any case, that shield barely covers your giant body. It will force Stark to make you a new one’.  ‘What do you care about his giant body’ Stark says.  ‘It’s America’s ass, Tony’ she takes a sip of her iced coffee. Steve blushes, and Tony rolls his eyes. 

----------

The training facility is magic, of course, somewhere between a mirror dimension and Wanda’s reality powers creating a safe cocoon inside the building so no one can be harmed. Y/n hardly trusted anybody to fight with her except Thor, but given the nature of Corvus’ Glaive, she knew magic would be required. 

And so she called me. 

After getting into my battle armour, I stepped into the facility, equipped with my sceptre and the teachings of the witches of Asgard. 

She whistles as I walk in. ‘Trying to distract me from killing you?’  ‘Are you?’ I ask. She’s dressed in a black bodysuit, details of purple in her belt and weapon harnesses.  ‘Why yes, I am. Glad you noticed’. 

The glaive is on the floor, and she stomps her foot on one part of it so it swivels up and neatly places itself in her hand. She smiles. 

‘Try to keep up. I’m not just looking for eye candy in a training partner, darling’ she says, getting into battle stance. 

With nothing left to say for the second time this week, I aim the sceptre at her and the stone at the end glows. 

She charges and I shoot at her, but she spins the glaive and creates a shield which absorbs the energy. 

She continues to charge at me. I shoot again, and again the glaive takes the hit. Not a scratch on her. 

Once she comes closer, she simply places the flat end of the weapon against my chest, sending me hurtling back into a wall. 

She spins the glaive and laughs. 

‘Compliments of Wakanda. It absorbs any hits and charges up with kinetic energy’. 

I get up on my feet. This is far from over. I create multiple illusions to surround her, all of them brandishing knives, Chitauri tech, and sceptres. 

‘Damn, suddenly my whole evening has opened up’ she says, looking around.

Even my clones look around at each other puzzled. 

‘Come on then, who’s up?’ she spins the glaive around. ‘One at a time or all at once, baby’. 

They charge at her, and I expected her to fight them off at once... instead she plants the staff on the ground and ducks, and a semi-circle shell grows from the top of the staff, down to the floor... like a mini fortress, completely impenetrable. It could, no doubt, continue to take hits and build up kinetic energy, so I call off the clones. 

She gets up and retracts the shell. ‘Nanotech’ she grins at me. ‘The whole shell sits in a disk. It can withstand bombs and even a moon’.  ‘Is there any tech you haven’t adopted?’  ‘I’m an intergalactic scavenger, aren’t I?’ 

I stare at her, horrified. Can she read minds? 

‘Maybe I can. Or maybe I heard you tell Stark when he was complaining about me finishing my weapon first’. 

Silence. 

‘Also, darling, you’re awfully predictable in your fighting’. 

She picks up every trick and tech she sees, so beating her is less about weapons and more about cunning. 

No problem. Cunning is my specialty. 

‘Ready now?’ she asks.  ‘Mhm’. 

She takes a deep breath to ready herself, her eyes shutting slightly. Once they open back up, she stares in shock. 

In my Jotun form, I give her my most menacing smile.

She cocks her head to the side, studying my icy blue skin. 

The illusion I cast of myself approaches behind her, dagger in hand. Once it’s close enough and I can almost taste my victory, she raises the glaive and in one swift motion, sticks it into its abdomen. 

The illusion disappears into green light. 

‘Cute’ she remarks. She points the glaive at me. ‘What else you got for me?’  I shift back to my Asgardian form and sigh. ‘You win’. 

Y/n laughs and lowers her weapon. ‘Oh darling, I won the second you walked in wearing all that leather’. She winks at me, then walks out of the facility. I feel a blush creep to my face, much against my will. 

-------------

‘Maybe you should stick to your guns, Tony’ Y/n says, ‘Fancy suits is it for you, chain hammers may be overshooting it’.  ‘Is that what they taught you in the back alley you learnt ironmongery from?’  ‘Yes! Do you want their number, I’m sure they’ll have a spot on the waiting list for you’. 

Ah. Y/n’s relationship with Stark seemed more like mine with Thor. While they banter, Steve and Natasha tear up from laughing. I wouldn’t go so far as to call this domestic, but it certainly is comfortable. 

‘Come on, the glaive can’t be that good, right Loki?’ Stark asks. 

The company looks at me expectantly. ‘To say her weapon isn’t good enough means to insult your own tech, Stark. Everything about it is founded on your theories’. 

‘So technically, it’s my brain that made the glaive so cool’ he tells Y/n.  ‘Yeah, you could say that. The glaive comes from the same mind that manufactured Captain America’s dinner plate’. 

Steve doesn’t find that one funny, but Natasha does, sending her into peals of laughter. 

‘Oh whatever’ Tony huffs. ‘I’m going back to the lab’. 

He stands up and Y/n grabs his arm. ‘Aww Tony, I’m just kidding!’ she pats his hand, ‘Look, you’re a brilliant inventor, we all have our slow days’. 

He sighs and nods, and holds her hand. ‘Thanks... I guess I’m just not in my element, you know?’  ‘Yeah...’ she keeps patting his hand. 

And the feeling of domesticity creeps in. We really are all a family. Y/n smiles encouragingly at Tony, and Tony seems more relaxed. 

‘So, you want me to get you the number of that ironmongery, or...?’  ‘OH FOR...’ he snatches his arm away and storms out of the room, with Steve and Nat losing it all over again. 

___________________________________________________________

Ah this was so fun!!!!!!!! I hope you guys liked it <3 

MASTERLIST HERE

ASK BOX OPEN FOR FIC REQUESTS. Find GUIDELINES HERE.

#loki x you #loki pov #loki x reader #loki marvel #Marvel Avengers #avengers tower #avengers fluff #tony stark #loki fanfic #loki fluff #tom hiddleston fluff #tom hiddleston birthday #fic prompts

[itsbee833]

TECHNO STREAM RECAP LETSGOOOOO

ok so first of all

IM BRONKEN

but anyways lets get into the recap!! (it is incredibly long)

So the Techno stream started with him scouting the prison a day before the actual prison break and he saw Sam putting Ranboo in the prison (pre-recorded). We also don’t know why he was in the prison.

                                                                                              It then skips a day forward and Techno and Phil are in da syndicate room and Niki comes in and Technos dog, Apollo, tp’s in (it is mentioned that Ranboo does not have a stasis pearl).

                                             They talk about the plans which is basically just ‘we are breaking Dream (and apparently Ranboo now) out of prison haha’ in the syndicate room and then head to the room with the redstone door that Phil made, and techno shows them the blueprints to the prison that he has, and they also check how many people are on which is A LOT.

                                                                                                                They go to the house to prepare and Techno makes sure that he doesn’t have a single empty inventory slot and has enderchests to use while he’s in the prison, he has things such as enchanted golden apples, totems of undying, milk, and the rocket launcher (crossbow). he also gives Niki wither skulls and soul sand ‘just in case they need a distraction’.

                                                                                                 Techno, Phil and Niki get horses, Techno uses Carl Jr. (veri good boi), and they Phil brings two more for when they break Ranboo and Dream out but one dies in the nether so Niki says that they can use hers and she can walk. Nikis horse is also stuck in an eating animation for a bit, this stream was definitely not scuffed

                              They get to the outside of the prison and put the horses in a small tunnel. Niki and Phil stay on the outside and Phil tells Niki to mingle with people if the alarm goes off because people don’t know her intentions.Techno then decides to take Apollo into the prison because ‘it would be funny’.

                                        Techno digs down a bit outside of the prison in the water to a point where there is a supposed single point where there isn’t any mining fatigue where he can break in. He also finds diamonds which was fuckin POG AS HELL LETSGOOOOO. After that Techno manages to break into the prison and he ends up in a room that is covered in lava around the sides, but with most of the middle portion exposed. This room is actually the tunnel that leads to the entrance to the main cell.

            Since Techno has fire resistance, he swims to Dreams cell and finds that the netherite blocks now also have glass on top and if any one of them is destroyed it will cause the alarm to go off. Techno ignores this and explodes the glass with tnt (1 million iq plays from our boy). He puts down an enderchest and gives dream netherite armour and weapons and puts fire res on him. They then head through the tunnels that lead to the main cell and end up battling Sam and Bad. Unfortunately we lost the true main character, Apollo, to Sams murderous intentions (and thats only the first time Sam does devious things)

                                                    They work their way through the prison and after blowing up a wall end up in the extra cells, and the one they enter in contains CONNOR for STOLEN VALOUR. what. Anyway, after that they let him out of the cell by using a lever to open the door and let Ranboo out who was in the next cell over.

                                                              Techno gives Ranboo and Connor netherite armour he had and splashes them with fire resistance. All of them then head to the hole Techno mined in the prison wall and escape. They swim up as there was water flowing down the hole and when they get out they’re surrounded by TONS of people such as Punz, Sapnap, Sam. Bad, Jack, Micheal (MCCHILL NOT THE BABIE), Eryn and even CALLAHAN.

                  During this battle, we see Sam take Ranboo hostage and Ranboo says ‘he has Micheal’, and he proceeds to take his armour off. Sam orders Techno to tell Dream to come back while Dream is screaming at Techno to get out of here and Techno tells Sam that Dream doesn’t care and saying that he wont leave without Ranboo. Ranboo gives Techno a map (with a picture on it but Techno doesn’t open it yet) and Sam kills Ranboo in one blow.

                              Techno screams no and tries to kill Sam but everyone gangs up on him so he has no choice but to run. As he’s running away 2 withers are spawned by Niki and Phil calls everyone over to get a horse and run away. Phil, Dream, and Techno all run to the nether on horses and head to Technos base. (apparently Sapnap sees Niki spawning the withers but people still don’t know about her affiliation with Techno).

                                                                                                       When they arrive at the base Techno says he’s going after Sam next and tells Dream to give him the armour he gave him, saying ‘there’s only so many sets of netherite armour, Dream’. Dream holds on to the netherite sword and shield and runs away, and telling Techno he owes him a favour (not how favours work cause they should be even now but anyway). Techno tells Phil about the prison break and about how Connor was there too.

                                                                                                           Connor arrives at the base first and everyone is just like ‘ok sure he’s here now cool’. Niki arrives and they all RING THE BELL BABY BUY SOME MERCH FROM TECHNOBLADE.COM LINK IN THE DESCRIPTION BUY SOME FOR YOUR GRANDMA BUY SOME FOR YOUR DAD BUY SOME FOR YOUR DOG. Also Connor joins the Syndicate but eeehhh thats not too important.(he also builds a dirt house with two walls, here’s your crown, king).

                                                            Chat then screams at Techno to open the image that Ranboo gave Techno and when he opens it, it’s a picture of Micheal (yes, the babie). Techno doesn’t understand and doesn’t know who Micheal is so he gives the image to Phil and Niki, and Niki says that people tried to attack Micheal a few weeks ago. Techno decides to go see Tubbo on his own and heads to Snowchester.

                                                                                                   Techno arrives in Snowchester and looks around, as he’s never actually been here before. He looks at the image of Micheal and tries to match it to a house. He finds the house where the image was taken and goes inside. Techno goes upstairs where Micheal would usually be but finds nothing. He messages Tubbo that he needs to talk to him about Ranboo, so Techno just hangs around and waits for him. Sapnap shows up but ignores Techno and goes into Tubbos basment. 

                                                                          Tubbo arrives and Techno asks him about Ranboo and if he knows him, to which he replies ‘He’s probably my best friend on this server’ (heartbreaking, i know) and Techno informs him that Ranboo was taken into the prison by Sam and ended up dying to Sam. Techno gives him the picture of Micheal and asks him if he knows what it means, and Tubbo stays silent for a while (possibly mic problems but we will say it is emotional processing lol). Tubbo goes to show Techno what the image is but they see Dream also go into the basement and just watch Dream and Sapnap do some lore then leave to continue theirs (watch this bit it is the funniest shit ive ever seen). So they go to Micheals room and Tubbo finds out that Micheal is missing and becomes frantic. He asks ‘What do i do?’.

                                                               After this, they joke around a bit about how they have to go one an ‘enemies to teammates arc’ (thought he was gonna say a different kind of arc but luckily not) to save Ranboos adopted son and talk about how Eret is at ‘Dream SMP university’ (help this is too funny). Then Techno ends the stream, but before that he PLUGS HIS MERCH BABY TECHNOBLADE.COM LINK IN THE DESCRIPTION BECOME A CHANNEL MEMBER RANBOO IS DEAD LETSGOOO BUY THE MERCH!!! 

ok thanks for reading byeeeeeeeeeeeeee (also sorry if the paragraphs are a bit scuffed)

#dsmp techno #techno #technoblade #dsmp #i dont know how tags work this is the first time ive done this #uuuh technoblade.com #buy the merch thankyouuuuuu #this took so long i am proud of myself for being awesome #if i have made a mistake or missed something oops haha

[wisewidow]

Cloudy With A Chance Of Assassination

PAIRING: Yelena Belova x Reader

SUMMARY: My new girlfriend takes meeting the relatives to a whole new level.

It's cloudy up ahead, but patches of sunlight leak through certain gaps like chinks in the sky's armour, and a warm silver lines the clouds as the sun sets behind them. There are no pink or orange hues in the sunset this cloudy evening, just tinted blue and cream with grey mountains in the distance and muted coloured trees at their bases. I have one hand on the wheel of the car Yelena and I just bought together, a sleek black Fiesta, and the other on my partner in crime's thigh. She has her window rolled down, the high speed we're going at blowing her golden hair everywhere. I drum my fingertips along the wheel as an upbeat song starts to play.

She's lost in the clouds, I can tell. I ask her if she's imagining pictures out of the white puffs, but either the roaring wind at one ear or the song at her other is blocking her from hearing my words.

I squeeze her thigh. She smacks my hand and glances sideways at me, mossy green eyes playful. I allow myself a single glance before looking back at the road. "I asked what you're seeing in the clouds."

She turns the radio dial down. "What?"

I snort. "Nevermind."

"You wanted attention?"

I flip her the bird, earning a boisterous laugh from her. "You were!"

I mimic her accent in a high-pitched voice. "You were totally like, give me attention! Because I'm Yelena Belova and I'm so special!"

"I don't sound like that," she objects. "You once said, and I quote, 'your voice is deep and sexy, like if a dressage horse could speak.'"

I frown. "I don't remember that. Was I drunk?"

"You were trying to outdrink me."

"Oh. Were you cheating? I don't black out that easily."

"No, I wasn't. And yes, you do."

I grumble and turn the radio up again. She hums along to the song, Snap Out Of It by the Arctic Monkeys. We drive until the sun goes down, or at least until I notice her energetic nature die down like a used battery. I search up the nearest motel on my phone and by the time I've pulled in, she's asleep.

I switch the engine off and relax into my seat. I allow myself a few seconds to admire the girl beside me.

I met her through a friend of mine, who lived in the apartment beside hers. I'd visit frequently, and she noticed and eventually grew tired of me oggling her everytime I passed her on the way out. So she coerced me into drinking too much red wine and then sent me over to her door, drunk and giggling.

I didn't know much about her past. She's from Russia, and she sometimes jokes that she's actually a trained assassin. She grew up in a foster home, got close with a girl named Natalia, who ended up living in the Big Apple as a high school teacher with a husband who renovates houses. She calls her every other week before bed, I think, when I spend the night and she thinks I'm asleep. I never hear what they're saying, but I enjoy falling into slumber listening to the soft hum of her voice through the plaster walls.

I admire her small, round, button nose, the even slope of her jawline, her long lashes that brush against her subtly tanned skin. We've only been dating for two months, but I'm positive I'm im love with her. We haven't exchanged those words yet, though. The car is actually our first and only big step.

I gently shake her shoulders to wake her up, and she grumbles sleepily as she shifts and peeks up at me. "Where are we?"

"Motel. Didn't feel like driving home. Come on, lazy bones, let's get you a pillow."

Once we're settled in a room, stripped of jeans and bras so we're just wearing shirts and underwear, I drift off with my head on her shoulder and my hand wrapped around her stomach.

When I wake up, the first thing I notice is the dried drool in the corner of my mouth. I don't think much of it other than the teasing I'd endure in the morning when Yelena finds out I drooled on her.

I pull her closer and then frown.

I am holding a pillow.

My girlfriend is not said pillow.

I rub my eyes and sit up. It's still dark outside, and the clock on my phone reads three in the morning. I scan the room for her figure, but I can't see her silhouette lingering in any of the shadowed corners. I frown and push the duvet off of my body, shivering slightly as I maneuver around the bed and into the bathroom.

No sign of her.

I'm starting to get worried.

Quickly, I grab my jeans — at least I think they're mine — and force my legs through them. I slip my phone in my pocket and head to the door.

It's locked, which doesn't make sense, because my current assumption that Yelena had gone out for a quick smoke would mean that she wouldn't have gone far enough to warrant locking the door.

I swallow down the bad feeling in my gut and step outside.

The upper wrap-a-round level of the motel showed no people in sight. I head to the stairs and down to the front desk, where a young man with purple streaks in his hair sits, droopy-eyed and scrolling mindlessly through his phone.

"Um, excuse me, sir?" I ask tentatively, rubbing the goosebumps off my arms. I hadn't brought my jacket.

His eyes flick up to meet mine. "Sir? You're friendlier than your girlfriend."

"I'm assuming you mean the blonde, very pretty, homicidal-looking woman I came in with?"

He sighs, turning his phone down. "Look, this is a motel. Things like this happen a lot. My advice is to run before the wife sees you."

I stare at him blankly.

He stares back.

"Uh, what?"

"A tall redheaded woman came by, stole your girl for a talk. They were squabbling about you. I assumed . . . oh. You didn't know. Well, who knows, could be a relative or something."

My heart hammers against my ribcage wildly. I have to keep reminding myself that Yelena loves me, that she wouldn't cheat on me, or cheat on anyone else with me, or . . . I feel myself becoming pale. Her scars, I'd never thought much of them, but with her mysterious past, and this mysterious paramour? She was running away from the woman who had now found her.

"Where did they go?" I demand, anger rushing through my veins.

He shakes his head, looking sympathetic. "I've seen this play out before, trust me when I say you don't want to confront—"

"Tell me where they went or I will make you swallow your own fist."

He recoils. "Christ, fine, they're in the parking lot. For the record, I hope you get a good slappin'!"

I speed walk out of the motel and around the back, adrenaline rushing. I stop when I spot two figures under a streetlight by my car, one taller and waving her arms around as she speaks and the other, unmistakably my Yelena, glaring up with her arms crossed.

I march over to them. Their heads snap in my direction almost immediately. The redheaded woman pulls out a gun and aims it at me.

I yelp and freeze, hands up in surrender. Yelena yells something in Russian and smacks the weapon out of her hands before rushing towards me. "(Y/N), what are you doing?"

"We're leaving," I say, completely freaked out. "Right now. You run, tell the guy in the office to call 911. I'll fight her off."

"What? No! (Y/N), this is my sister! She's just paranoid."

I gape at her. "I thought she was a science teacher!"

"I told you we should have met somewhere else," the redhead hisses.

Yelena spits back in Russian.

"No, no Russian! Explanation, now!" I turn to the woman. "You're Natalia?"

"Natasha."

"Okay, Natasha the science teacher who owns a gun, what are you doing here?"

Her lips tighten into a fine line. "I'm not a science teacher, I'm an agent of S.H.I.E.L.D., and I wasn't expecting Yelena to have company when I came here to drag her back home."

Yelena starts spurting more angry Russian words that mean nothing to me as I try to process what's happening. The two sisters argue for a solid two minutes while I decide I must be dreaming.

The lies. The scars. The mystery. The jokes about being an assassin.

This is a living nightmare.

I turn and walk away.

Yelena calls out, "(Y/N)! Wait!"

I don't stop until I've reached our room, where I promptly grab my jacket and bra and shove them in my bag.

"(Y/N), don't leave," Yelena begs when she catches up, blocking the doorway with her body. "Let me explain, love, please."

"Get out of my way," I snap.

She doesn't flinch, doesn't turn around as she closes the door and backs up against it as if to provide another barrier between me and the world she's trying to hide.

"Yelena," I warn.

"Let me explain," she pleads.

I stare her down, but she doesn't seem to be budging any time soon. I drop my bag on the floor and sit on the bed with my arms crossed, glaring at her. "Fine. Enlighten me."

She slowly eases away from the door. "I didn't lie to you about everything. I'm one hundred percent Russian, and I consider Natalia to be my sister, and we did grow up together. But we were trained together, too. As assassins."

"Fuck," I mutter.

She kneels down in front of me. "I got away from that life, I swear. And I met you and everything after that was the realist thing I'd ever had. I really love video games, and I really love your pancakes, and I really, really love you."

My glare softens.

"Even if you can't cook," she says.

I give her a semi-playful, semi-annoyed shove.

"You said be honest, don't hit me!"

I stand up and pace the room nervously. This time, she sits down on the bed. I mutter under my breath, gnawing on my thumbnail, until, finally, I sit down beside her.

"Okay, deal breaker. Do you know Captain America?"

#yelena belova x reader #yelena belova x y/n #yelena belova x you #florence pugh #wlw x reader #marvel wlw #marvel x reader #florence pugh x reader

[infinitelytheheartexpands]

Responses from the Opera Screencaps Captioning Quiz

Hello, everyone, and thank you for taking my quiz! I had SO MUCH fun reading your captions-- there were several times I literally started crying from laughing so hard at the amazingness of your work! With that in mind, the captions (which I will continue to add onto as more people take it):

(also, thank you to @dichterfuerstin​ for translating the German captions I got)

originally taken from: the Wiener Staatsoper’s 2020 production of Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart’s Die Entführung aus dem Serail, featuring Regula Mühlemann (center) as Blonde, Michael Laurenz (right) as Pedrillo, and an unnamed extra (left) as the Grim Reaper

Responses:

(Backstage warm-up) “ok so someone dropped the pulse”

me and my friends watching the fire burn after doing arson

Introducing the polycule to the parents

*boom* ... did...you guys hear that too?

Ma Signor !

Knight in whinging armour gone wrong, look at how he holds the egg. Polyamory with weird knight and death.

the father, son and the holy ghost are very gay

the gays meeting for brunch, 2021, colorized

chicken lady forces death and a very flamboyantly homosexual anthropomorphized pink bird to be parents of her egg (they dont want to be)

That’s just me and my friends on our night out (before covid rip)-- closest

A Good Friday night

good omens (2019)

["the pocket guide to boy/girl/mischief" meme] who's the boy and who's the mischief though????

Papageno and Papagena take their first-born egg trick-or-treating

Angry Birds - The Musical. A pig stole an egg and the bird unites with death to take revenge.

I love my bird wife

Someone got murdered during the funky chicken dance

throuple murders child and steals sibling of said child

When you and your friends have widely different tastes in literature

angel leading twink to his rightful place (hell)

draco malfoy from a very potter musical and a death eater are very much in the wrong show

What have I gotten myself into

Mlm/wlw solidarity but I’m not telling who is who

A woman stands with a pink dipshit with an egg and a reaper.

A bird-couple makes a pact with Death, sacrificing their first-born bird-child in order to bring good luck upon their unborn bird-baby

There are three types of people on Halloween:

Uh oh, I don’t think the mother hen is very happy about this...

oh god, they’ve invented seussical. It’s too early!

gay brunch

Three little maids from school are we

guys maybe if we dress gay enough we can distract everyone from the dead flapper bee in the back

those three killed a duck for her egg and are facing the conswquences.

Duck has egg with human, shocked and upset due to biological impossibility

When you bout to make a banging omelet so you invite your fellow queers

"No mortal man could pass that egg, but heaven shall repair your rectum."

originally taken from: the Salzburg Festival’s 2007 production of Hector Berlioz’s Benvenuto Cellini, featuring Maija Kovalevska (left) as Teresa Balducci, Laurent Naouri (center, in chimney) as Fieramosca, and Burkhard Fritz (right) as Benvenuto Cellini

Responses:

“In this same interlude it doth befall That I, one Snout by name, present a wall; And such a wall, as I would have you think, That had in it a crannied hole or chink, Through which the lovers, Pyramus and Thisby, Did whisper often very secretly. This loam, this rough-cast and this stone doth show That I am that same wall; the truth is so: And this the cranny is, right and sinister, Through which the fearful lovers are to whisper.” - a midsummer night’s dream, act v scene 1

"ah yes a prime specimen. see here, right in this box is our one of a kind hob goblin that can be all yours for the low low price of your soul"

what, YOU don't have a special eavesdropping chimney window?

Hänsel und Gretel plotting against the witch

man takes a wrong turn and ends up in a chimney, catches his girlfriend cheating-- closest

when you end up third wheeling the straight couple

lady cheats on her leather jacket wearing scummy boyfriend and when he unexpectedly comes home she hides the lover in the chimney

A straight girl and her gay best friend gossip about stuff idk

Idk Shakespeare?

experimental couples therapy feat. the chimney mf from mary poppins

Area Couple Inadvertently Traps Santa-in-Training in Chimney as they Attempt Rooftop Flirting

Landlords laugh over student renter's misfortune

I never asked for this

Ay yo lil mama lemme whisper in your ear

voyeurist listens to sandy and Danny from grease

Psssst! Did you hear about Susan? You won’t believe it!

lady and the tramp meets beauty and the beast?

human trafficking

And for just $30 you too could have your own tiny brick cage!

Psst I’m wearing assless chaps under this dress

A couple tortures a man in a box.

It's all fun and games being stuck in a chimney until your greasy uncle steals your crush from right above you-- okay ngl this could actually be a great Don Pasquale concept

Taking eavesdropping to the next level

Will you two stop being lovey dovey and let me out? SUMMER LOVIN, HAPPENED SO FAST— 

overhearing how people talk about you when they think they're alone puts you in the shithouse 

Does he know we can see him?

dear god, i am so fucking hungry, yall please just do whatever heterosexuals do so i can go eat a popsicle 

the human version of the trash man from sesame street is realizing that those two are going to fuck on his trash can 

Tmw you capture an angry short dude and start trashtalking him where he can hear 

Omg what if we kissed but we actually kissed the lil goblin man under us

"Remember, don't feed him after midnight"

originally taken from: the Théâtre de Capitole du Toulouse’s 2017 staging of Giacomo Meyerbeer’s Le prophète, featuring Leonardo Estevez (right, on fake horse) as Le Comte d’Oberthal

Responses:

“When I said we needed to drain the swamp I didn’t think there were people actually living there”

horse? what horse? no sir i dont know what horse youre referring to.

definitely don't have a napoleon complex going on

King stole La Scala‘s Lohengrin set

king breaks all his horses, has to use statue dragged by servants as transportation because he’s too kingly too walk

Emperor Söder and his subjects on a carnival procession

man on horse makes a big deal out of being on a horse

That’s not Zeffirelli because the horse is not alive

Who the fuck put a horse on the stage

isn't this that picture of napoleon on the horse

Area Count Thinks Citizens will be Intimidated by his Extremely Fake-looking Horse Statue-- closest

Everyone wants their turn on the giant plaster horse. Police are there to make sure everyone waits their turn.

Night out with the lads

Local royalty horrified at the state of his own damn kingdom

gay army fights different gay aesthetics-- hi author how does it feel to be the funniest fucking person on this quiz

Well at least I LOOK badass

ceasar if he hadn't gotten stabbed (colourised)

some soldiers jumped out of my kindergarten fairytale collection book to burn the don carlos flemish deputies at the stake

It’s just a model

Is that how you feel pulling up in your Honda Civic, Madge?

Someone rides a horse statue in public.

Just a normal party with the bros.

what is this, some kind of crossover episode? 

Terribly sorry for all the fuss, it’s just, that is, my horse is afraid of neck ruffles. I’ve tried to talk to him about it, but he’s—whoaaa there—he said he was a french courtier in a past life and he’s allergic to English fashion 

Horse seller, listen to me! I am riding into battle. I need your strongest horse. - We have horses at home. - The horses at home: 

All hail Incitatus the king 

we are not ripping off shakespeare’s henry viii. what the fuck. this is about lenny xi you uncultured swine, go drown in a pit of your own farts 

oh god is that hamilton 

Guy Removed From Art Museum For Sitting On Statue, more at eleven 

Gay <3

Officer: This horse... is a virgin! Crowd: *cheers*

originally taken from: the Parma Verdi Festival’s 2017 staging of Giuseppe Verdi’s Stiffelio, featuring Maria Katzarava (left) as Lina and Luciano Ganci (right) as Stiffelio

Responses:

That One kid in class

its a mEntAL BreAkDowN *final countdown but kazoo*

*record scratch* yeah, that's me. you're probably wondering how I got here-- closest

Dad keeps monologuing, teenager is done

left: all of my concerned friends, right: my emo ass having a very public mental breakdown

the demons in the corner of my room when im just trying to sleep

lady gets mansplained to (do i need to say more, we've all been there)

It’s probably an area baritone telling off an area soprano-- sorry; it’s a tenor. soprano is right though.

That was a fake horse in the last photo right?

child comes out as gay to father at a particularly bad time

dissociation solves everything

I can't believe it's not butter

Honey we talked about this

My sleep paralysis demon is Crowley from supernatural

child has nightmare of boring job

When you start dating a singer but he won’t stop practicing at night

just an average day in a hetero marriage

what do i do my wife's having period cramps again

Stop having an existential crisis. It’s time to sing!

“No son of mine will kin Gomez Addams under MY roof”

Crowley stares into space while a teen has post nut clarity.

When he wont stop reciting jordan peterson monologues!!

Do you realize how effed you are?

Ugh, not this lecture again! Dad’s Practicing For His Experimental Indie Band Again 

asking your parents for help with your own personal situation and them just ranting off about what they went through instead of helping in any way 

Will he shut up already!

no one tell him he’s yelling in the wrong direction, no one tell him plnsbdjddhdj 

this kid is tired of his dad listening to rush limbaugh (a man who claimed to be pro life but died anyway) 

Me internally vs externally 

Daddy issues

originally taken from: the Grand Théâtre de Genève’s 2020 staging of Giacomo Meyerbeer’s Les Huguenots, featuring several chorus members

Responses:

It’s the deadly eye Of Poogley-pie. Look away, look away, As you walk by, ‘Cause whoever looks right at it Surely will die. It’s a good thing you didn’t … You did? … Good-bye. - shel Silverstein

why the fuckith? my good sir, i beg of you to put your pants back on

I hate this itchy hat

Titanic Extras hear that they have to do extra hours

people waiting to board the titanic watch someone fall off the plank

pov: you’re a time traveler

guy in the flatcap is embarrassed by patriotism and pathos

No idea. For some reason Le Marseillaise comes to mind

Is this from Harry Potter?

disneyland main street usa workers on strike

local tries to hide behind Newsies cap to avoid unpleasant but inevitable conversations. meanwhile, some very fashionable ladies look on.

"Thank fuck, 2020 was just a dream after all"

“We gather here today because this bitch got exactly what she deserved” “heaven!” “Stfu Stephanie she’s going to hell and we all know it”-- not quite but this basically happens later on in the opera (and act) so yeah (except the person in question very much Did Not Deserve It)

dc movie filter on bridgerton

america?

looks like my history teacher paused the prohibition documentary again

Who still wears page boy hats bro?

Coming out to a room of people who Already Knew That

Bitches are relieved at some party.

Several drunk people exiting getting off the subway attempting to seem sober and rational but realizing they have somehow lost all of their possessions

How tf do I act natural in this situation-- closest

“do you think any of them noticed that I don’t know the pledge of allegiance” 

It's too fucking hot outside for this outfit 

?

when hyyh yoonkook ending just hits different 

pedestrians watch in horror as the triangle shirtwaist factory burns and the workers throw themselves out of the windows from a dozen stories up 

Starting the pledge of allegiance be like 

He's having a heart attack oh no oh god oh fuck

originally taken from: if I remember correctly, the Semperoper Dresden’s 2018 semi-staging of Johann Strauss II’s Die Fledermaus, with Jonas Kaufmann as Gabriel von Eisenstein

Responses:

“William Shakespeare wrote: "To thine own self be true And it must follow, as the night the day Thou canst not then be false to any man" I believe this wise statement best applies to a woman A blonde woman Over the past three years she taught me And showed us all That being true to yourself never goes out of style Ladies and gentlemen Our valedictorian: Elle Woods!” - legally blonde the musical

eat ass, suck a dick, and sell drugs

woooooorrrrd

Finally Jonas has graduated! It’s about time, considering he’s an international star.

what my professors think they look like

Prof. Dr. Dr. When someone tells him there are more than two genders

'and since you've now graduated high school, you'll be entering college etc. blablabla' .........meanwhile, there's a whole row of graduates daring each other to chug the cheap vodka one of them has brought in gallons (yes that happened at my graduation, lol)

Jonas darling baby <3-- can’t argue with that

I just realized I have no idea what the actual fuck happens in an opera

ok this one is just what jonas kaufmann always wears you can't fool me.

"as valedictorian i will share with you the importance of loving the floor"

"Yes, mother, my art degree will make me money!"

Graduation speakers are out, singers are in

Senior year takes a new meaninbg

mansplainer professor explains the concept of feminism to women

Your Prof when you finally turn in that missing assignment be like

younger boris johnson (derogatory)

jonas kaufmann retires from opera and takes up motivational speaking

What a fine graduation evening we’re having today

-70 points for slytherin you all have no swag

A man with a college hat sings.

An obviously greying actor trying to play a university student in a low-budget porn parody

How it feels to graduate high school after being held back for years

East High is a place where teachers encouraged us to break the status quo and define ourselves as we choose. Where a jock can cook up a mean crème brûlée, and a brainiac can break it down on the dance floor-

I may not have been "cool" in high school, but in ten years you will all be working for me!

I finally got my GED!

that one guy in ur intro to cultural anthropology class who mansplains to the professor somehow fucking graduated

he;s just graduating and taking his speech too serously idk

Graduation speeches with that one dude who got held back 3 times

Smrt

originally taken from: the Metropolitan Opera’s 2011 staging of Gioachino Rossini’s Le Comte Ory with Joyce DiDonato (left) as Isolier, Diana Damrau (center) as Countess Adèle, and Juan Diego Florez (right) as Le Comte Ory (disguised as a hermit)

Responses:

There is something very [disturbing grunts] About polyamorous couples - polyamorous, Chris Fleming

jinkies

femme fatale (including to herself)

I’ll have a threesome soon !

Hot guy walks by, everyone swoons.

thirdwheeling friend does not realize the other two are having sex

When your girlfriend had „just two beers“ again

jesus is exasperated about having to drag the two ladies towards doing what he needs them to do instead of purple dramatically declaring suicidal intent over the smallest trivial matters and red being equally dramatic about declaring that it's not the way! stay alive! i love you!!

The throuple is thriving

Get off the milf

orgy

my last three braincells because im a horny slut

countess receives too much love and is confused on how to react

Rasputin's lesser known romp with a much older czarina of russia

Woman's soul leaves body

Jesus and co. are worried after another woman gets pregnant without having sex

bisexual looks at photos of celebrity couples

When you go to the party to socialize with new people but your weirdo friend group starts getting clingy

Jesus cumming

one of those weird church christmas pageants but everybody's drunk

What have I done

Hozier??????????

Jesus assfucks some purple lady being hugged.

This time, the chick IS the magnet

An affair/threesome gone awry (2019 colorized)

What do you mean they canceled GLOW?

“I TOLD you it was cashmere!”

Are you wearing the - - The Gucci dress? Yes I am.

It's not what it looks like!

jesus is fucking that one cheerleader who grew up to be a suburban mom with one (1) super cool dress she stole from her kid who is desperately hugging her middle begging for it back because the spring fling is coming up and jason might actually make eye contact with her for more than three seconds.

jesus and mary magdaline and some other bitch

I’m at a bar and these drunk girls are flirting with me, do I lOOK GAY?!

Shrek 5, jesus's return

c. 2025 First attempt of an Officer and his Wife with a Handmaiden (colourized)

just about all of these are close lol

originally taken from: the Bolshoi Theater’s 1993 staging of Pyotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky’s The Maid of Orléans, featuring Nina Rautio (left) as Joan of Arc and Vyacheslav Pochapsky (right) as Thibaut d’Arc

Responses:

Don’t look, I’m still pooping

yall, the audacity of this man. he fuckin talked to me

*i can't even tell you how wrong you are* *it would be insulting to ME*-- closest

Cospeto!

„No I’m not talking to you, you keep cracking bad jokes!“ - „But I got another!“

when you’re mad at him but he says he’ll buy you food if you cheer up

When I’m wallowing in self-pity but my friends won’t comfort me

right: wanna fuck ;) left: yeah, fuck OFF lmao

Her face is screaming “don’t tell me what to do”

Yeah I got nothing

gay man tries to hit on a lesbian bc he thinks she's a twink. she's not amused but she's watching this happen anyway

me tired of MET's bullshit and them organising a Netrebko, known blackface apologist, a recital during Black History Month. (sorry im still fucking salty lol)

"stop smiling at me like that I'm trying to pout over here"

"I got fleas, you got fleas... wanna fuck?"

I have the best idea!

Haha nooooo don’t hit me with that bat you’re so sexxyy

lesbian is bothered by dilf

Me trying to flirt

if call me by your name was hetero and set in america

how many more dad jokes can i take before i explode

So. You’ve gotten yourself in a little pickle again.

What if we fought in the Russian revolution together ✨???????... unless??

Two people flirt in a poor place of town/

"If you ask me what I've got under this dirty, shapeless tunic one more time I swear to god I will kick your rotting teeth in"

You look like ur gonna kill me but ok

Really? You again?

Okay, I’ve been sitting here for 20 minutes, do you think it’s safe to—oh god, he’s still there.

Have you seen Godot?

she is tired of everyone’s shit. she has done so many derivatives it physically pains her to see a variable. dont test her. ur icarus rn.

idk pick better pictures-- I HAVE DIED THE SHEER AUDACITY AND HUBRIS I LOVE THIS

200% done with your crap 

Homeless man has fucking legs of steel n is gonna show off his Russian dance moves

originally taken from: the Théâtre de Capitole du Toulouse’s 2019 staging of Paul Dukas’ Ariane et Barbe-bleue, featuring Sophie Koch (right) as Ariane and I don’t remember who the person on the left is rip me

Responses:

The knight who wore this into battle sure was swaggy

dear god its hiddeous

Capitalism

Knight in shining armour gone even more wrong.

ghost contemplates the safety of spiky motorcycle helmet

„Stop! He feels bullied!“

'this is my newest take for jesus's crucifixion crown ...... what do you mean they already put him up'

That’s probably a really expensive magic helmet idk. IDK-- closest

Omg I love the adventure zone!

minesweeper (windows xp)

"Okay whatever you do don't touch the shiny spiky ball" "It's so shiny I wanna touch it"

Taking down the trash way too late

IT'S NOT A PHASE MOM

Darth Vader got stuck in the freezer.... again. Leia isn’t happy

Star Wars 2030

“And here is the very latest in motorcycle helmet trends” “Look, I only came to the mall for a pair of socks “

futuristic kkk

long-suffering jewelry store attendant really wants to retire

Put it down put it down put it down

“Hmm no you should see a doctor about that”

A weird ass crown is presented

The creation of sars-cov-2: an experimental Eurotrance nightclub art piece gone horribly wrong

How it feels to want something that u cant have

AND WE WILL CALL IT—SPIKE MAN actually do you think that’s too obvious?? Because of the—yeah, because of the spikes?? See, that’s what I’m worried about. I want it to be SCARY

I know it's risky but... lube me up

?

use the force luke.

that is a weird fleshlight

When you get an ugly gift and need to find a way to get rid of it, so your family member/friend offers to smash it

Touch the orb

originally taken from: the Opera Vlaanderen’s 2019 staging of Fromental Halévy’s La Juive, with Nicole Chevalier (left, with bottle) as Princess Eudoxie, Enea Scala (center, under table) as Prince Léopold, and Roy Cornelius Smith (right) as Éléazar

Responses:

When no one comes to your birthday party :(

fantastic, day 487 of mischief and they have yet to find my masterful hiding spot

i really wonder who he thinks he's playing footsie with

Marriage crisis. Reason sits under the table-- closest but not in the way you think (after all, the man under the table IS a tenor).

the last supper afterparty after jesus left

When you order the last supper on wish

espionage at the Politischer Rosenmontag

Probably the wrong opera but is that Leporello under the table

Now THIS is a Good Friday night

this was every birthday party i went to between the ages of 5 and 11

that awkward moment when you drop your fork under the table but when you re-emerge everyone else has left except one drunk lady and the guy trying to deal with her

After the last supper

Tfw you arrive to the dinner party too early and have to hide until a more fashionable hour

When the cishets aren’t home

waiter hides from customers

Nobody: My dog every time I’m eating:

what's left of the homies Jesus had dinner with

university chem lab experiment gone terribly wrong

I’ve been under the table FOR 30 MINUTES

Set your friends up by tossing them off under the table, they’ll think it’s each other n fall in luv

Someone hids under a table

"You're about to see an surreptitious-under-the-table-dick-sucking master at work"

5 yr old me trying to eat the desert under the table without my parents finding out be like:

They never invite me to their parties!

Just another girl’s night in

Oops! Didn’t notice you the table.

dionysus - bts (2019, colorized)

just a normal episode of eric andre (eric is the one under the table)

Just a normal day with the boys

Thievery

originally taken from: the Théâtre de Capitole du Toulouse’s 2017 staging of Giacomo Meyerbeer’s Le prophète, featuring Kate Aldrich (left, surrounded by women in white) as Fidès and John Osborn (center, looking like a Jesus doppelganger) as Jean de Leyde

Responses:

Hold up, is that Eggman above Jesus?

holy disco

Looks like Tannhäuser. Our lord and saviour Richard Wagner. Now I need to be saved from that.

catholicism

me defending pineapple on pizza (THANK YOU)

jesus but hes about to be abducted by the alien ufo above him

Emmmmmmm Heaven? Idk

Lord of the rings?

ewww christianity gross

"behold, I am Important"

"Seriously?? It's not ACTUALLY pyjama day? Fuck you guys!"

Jesus at the Disco

Jesus Finds The Molerat People Who Live Under Bethlehem

disco is heaven

Want to join my new religion?

the kkk

church christmas pageant where everyone's sober but it's based on the director's fever dream

Am I the only one who sees the giant demon? Just me? Okay...

“Oh god I think I’m starting my period”

A party is held with a priest in the middle

"Let's get this secret Vatican sex party rolling!"

The new avengers endgame set is looking great!!

You know, guys, I try not to be a bother but...I can’t help but feel like I missed a dress code memo for this wedding??? It’s cocktail, right??”

Jesus visits Hogwarts

I must really stink if no one will even come close to me

the extra ass funeral i DESERVE

star wars life day

A cult at it’s best-- closest

Shrek 5, Jesus is still there I guess

originally taken from: the Royal Opera House, Covent Garden’s 2013 staging of Giuseppe Verdi’s Les vêpres siciliennes, featuring Bryan Hymel (left, standing) as Henri, Lianna Haroutounian (center, kneeling in the black gown) as Duchess Hélène, and Erwin Schrott (kneeling to her right) as Jean Procida

Responses:

When the director’s like “great rehearsal guys, just a few notes before I let you go” but it’s already 9:13 and your mom’s waiting in the parking lot

loyalist of subjects

bow before your queen

They forgot to take down the stage boxes after the Vienna opera ball but the show must go on.

somebody forgot to book chairs for this funeral

Me sharing God’s (Hayley koyoko) word on the discord server

mass execution bc the oboe solo sucked ass-- closest

That’s too many black suits I can’t see shit

I can’t even tell what’s going on here

8th grade school assembly about how it's uncool to shit on the walls at school

let's all get fancy so we can go to the opera and sit on the stage (idk this one's hard lol)

"Yes i am a time traveller, now don't freak out"

Tfw you forget to pay your lighting bills

White guys make decisions that will benefit them and screw someone that’s not a white guy over-- OUCH but that is too real (although not really in context here)

dead man gives speech at his own funeral

brotus and the boys ??? last meeting before the stabbing

high society social function ends in mass murder-- right opera, wrong scene

Someone walks into the talent show stage with a dog

Black-dressed bitches worship a man.

Worst school assembly of all time

POV:You're the window in the classroom and someone said "its snowing"

When the conductor shows up fashionably late to the orchestra concert

That's what you get for choosing the cheapest ticket option, get back in the mud where you belong

?

theyre just trying to jump into a grave at a funeral leabe them alone this is normal

oh my god he really whipped his dick out in front of everyone, this is just like in 1776 guys, except some women are actually in the room this time,

A funeral, stop wearing so much black

I want to slap their bald heads like rice

originally taken from: the Teatro Real Madrid’s 2018 staging of Gaetano Donizetti’s Lucia di Lammermoor, featuring Roberto Tagliavini (right) as Raimondo

Responses:

Crowd “haha!! Looks like someone missed the all-black memo!! Now it’s laugh-in-your-face time! / Guy on the floor (whispering to guy against wall): go, save yourself! I’ll hold them off...”

if i leave now i wont be a witness and can tell the police i had no idea

it was the best of times, it was the worst of times

Guy in the back pretends to help but is to far away to even know what’s going on.

priest walks in on beginning of an orgy, contemplated joining but is too scared-

when someone brings up capitalism but you’re just trying to play minecraft

lol lets trample this guy while the judge isnt looking

Again. Too many black costumes

Loved this Dostoevsky novel

i would know if opera directors were more creative with clothing choices ngl

me on parties lol

"imma just sneak out of here while everyone else is distracted"

"Where did he get this flooring!? Amazing!"

Everyone act normal!

The tell tale heart but they got REALLY drunk

man tposes to ward off vampires after being caught undercover

boys ???? night

the priest really shouldn't have visited the insane asylum-- closest

He’s FINE everyone’s been hit by a car before

Something happens in a room.

Perks of being a wallflower

There's always that one person in the fight whos trying not to get involved when they really wanna

Oh good, they’re all posing for a Rembrandt painting, I can just sneeeeaaak out the back here...

The gamer livestreaming Resident Evil + everyone watching the stream ? waiting for him to open the door just knowing it will trigger a chase scene

Quick!

the guy t posing in the back is regretting his every decision.-- also accurate

the us senate jumps ted cruz, some other wack ass gop senator is trying to sneak away

...I spoke too soon, however this is a James Bond mission

Queers help fellow queer do math but it's a struggle

#opera #opera tag #results #screencaps #captions #caption #caption this #caption contest #this seems to have gone over well and I am Pleased

[scorpioxsith]

Don’t you agree?

I was totally on my bullshit after watching Chapter 13 last night, I smoked a joint and, god damn I was feeling inspired, I wrote something, whatever my imagination was doing at 1AM.

It’s just a little something. I tidied up the grammar to coherency but i kinda like it being organic as it was, to reflect reader being not-sober (just like me baha). 🤪

Also influencing this, I’m in the UK and we’ve been in lockdown for the past month and it ain't about to end for me anytime soon, so i am pining for a night out (idk just some fun god damn) and some mando attention. 

I felt like sharing it because it’s kinda fun and lighthearted and if it helps someone else escape right now then cool. This is some #realthirstyhotgirlshit, reader is flirty and a lil confident but also a lil shy because heck I can be confident (lies) but put me in front of Mando and you bet I would be total jello. (also i dont think mando is necessarily OOC in this BUT if he is idc i just want him to be my daddy lmfao) 

Im living for season 2, someone give Filoni an award NOW!! 

warnings: references to alcohol/drug use. its not smut but its flirty. if i carry it on it'll go “further” but I’m scared of commitment so

Drabble below the cut.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

You hanged off of Greef Karga in a friendly embrace and giggled in the spice lounge. You were howling about a story he had just told you and the two of you were almost crying with laughter. You’d just come back from a very successful mission, and when he'd asked if you wanted to celebrate the win with him, you shrugged your shoulders at him with a playful smirk “alright then.”

two hours later and you were both inebriated. it was bleeding into the mid evening, the night at its peak. energy buzzed in the spice lounge with the music and fluttering ebb and flow of conversations, carrying an infectious energy into the air. 

your body felt relaxed, your mind loose. 

it was a little foolish, given you are in so doing letting your guard down, but you hoped if you were unlucky enough to be accosted in this state, with Greef by your side you felt a safe bet you could still take most people. 

Although you didn’t particularly have much in common with him, he had a playful demeanour that made for a fun drinking partner. 

Karga tapered his hysterics off into a deep chuckle, “ah, you know-” 

“Karga.” 

A blur of silver came into yours and Greef’s vision until it materialised before your eyes into a Mandalorian. A hot Mandalorian. You had no idea you had a thing for that but it was the first thought that sprung to your mind. You quickly looked to Greef, playing off your fluttering lashes and hoping the Mandalorian hadn’t noticed your astonishment. Or…maybe if he had, maybe it wouldn’t be totally the end of the world. Who knows. 

Greef Karga also took a moment to summon a response, frozen for the barest of moments, but you saw it. He was taken aback by the Mandalorian's presence. Then, he flew into a huge bravada of an introduction. 

Maker, you were both so high. 

“Mando!” Greef bellows, “well I never. I never thought I’d see you in this particular establishment!” 

The Mandalorian cocked his head impatiently. “I’m only here because I was told this is where I’d find you.” 

His voice went straight through you. Fuck. 

Greef turned to you. “Allow me to introduce my associate…” 

you smiled awkwardly at this, oh god - why were you feeling shy? I mean…well actually...you do know why, don’t you? 

“Good to meet you,” you said carefully - you didn’t want to spook him, so no heavy flirting yet but your tone was warm and a little sultry. 

The Mandalorian’s helmet turned to you and you weren’t sure if you imagined it but you were sure you felt some sort of tension almost immediately bloom as he continued to hold your gaze. Your skin prickled in a path down your body as if his very gaze was passing over your curves and leaving a blazing fire in its wake. 

Your voice lazy, a little sexy, as were your sparkling eyes and rosy cheeks. “I'm Y/n.”

“Mando,” he responds huskily. You think that will be it, but then- “I haven’t seen you around here before.” 

His voice is run through a modulator in his helmet, making it hard to pin down his tone. You couldn’t tell what his angle was but something inside of you hoped he was feeling the same magnetism as you right now.

You realised he was waiting for an answer, and you hope you mask the subtle cheeky glint in your eye before you respond. 

“I am new to this parsec, yes. I have been in the Guild for a couple months now but I’m often out on mission.”

“Is that right?” There’s a smoothness to his voice that makes you blush slightly, you hope its not obvious. To Greef, that is. It'll definitely be obvious to Mando’s heat vision, but you could live with that embarrassment. He continued, “I assume as you are here, your previous mission was successful.”

You nodded up at him, thinking wow he’s so tall and big and yes and he’s looking down at you too, until a hand clapped on your back and Greef came into the picture again. 

“Indeed!” Greef commended as if it was the best thing in the world. “An impressive one hundred per cent success rate! She’s almost as talented as you, Mando, I like this one!” 

Karga gives you a joking side wink and you can’t help but laugh - he forces it out of you when your eyes meet as if something is so hilarious but you’re not even sure what it is, mainly just the fact that he’s chatting absolute shit and you can’t take it seriously. Mando gazes at you as he waits for you both to finish your ridiculous and illogical giggling fit.

It takes longer than a minute for you both to get control of yourselves, your laughter filling the air of the spice lounge. Mando's hands went to his hips and he cocked into a stance that had you wanting to drop to your knees. That stopped your giggling. 

Karga wipes another tear from his eye, you’re not sure if he’s doing it for dramatic effect and it almost sends you off the edge again. 

“Forgive me, I’m feeling loose. Speaking of, I’m going to go get myself another Gin ’n’ Juice,” Karga announced playfully. “Mando? Drink, Y/n?” he asks you. 

“Just a water, please,” you said sweetly. You needed it. 

“Karga, I came here to talk,” Mando quipped impatiently. 

“Yeah, yeah,” Karga rolled his eyes, “and if I’m gonna listen to you, I need a drink. Why don’t you take a seat and I’ll be right back.” 

With that he whirled away, leaving you with the Mandalorian. 

You weren’t sure whether to start conversation or wait for him to ask you something, but then there was the predicament of what to say. The armour was sexy as hell, but it did make him difficult to read. 

The Mandalorian was watching Greef retreat to the bar, before seeming to roll his shoulders and relax slightly, consciously, then looked down at you. 

Then, he adjusted his weapon away from his body so he could take one large stride over to the now unoccupied space by you. He sat close, but still too far away. However, he relaxed into the seat a little more, the bulk of him spreading out further and inching closer to you. It was like some kind of erotic display and you couldn’t help but gaze at him in a way that betrayed your desires. 

His helmet tilted at you and he chuckled knowingly. “Careful, kitten.”

  Your eyes widened in surprise and a sudden warmness whooshed through your whole body. It was dizzying and immediately a hot aching began to pulse in your core. His voice danced through your tingling senses and you were enraptured. 

You wanted to touch him, desperately, even just get a little closer. Encouraged by his boldness, you summoned the courage to teasingly reach out and slowly trace your fingers over his thigh. You hear a staticky breath come out of the modulator. 

One of his large hands snapped down to rest over yours, except he didn't snatch your hand away. He held it in place, his hand heavy and hot over yours, pressing down on his firm thigh. Your breath hitched as movement in your peripheral barely caught his other hand coming up, too late and you were taken by a shudder when you felt his gloved fingers trail gently down the sensitive curve of your exposed neck. Your head tilted in compliance, lashes fluttering, barely in control of the longing gaze of desire you were levelling back into the visor of the helmet.

"You should be careful, cyar'ika," he murmured, "Some would take advantage of this right now." 

You barely held back a whine, but you knew he was right. Shit, his righteousness only made you want him more. 

He pulled back swiftly, though it was a gentle touch when his hand gripped and lifted yours off his thigh, placing it back onto your own lap. His fingers ghosted over your forearm as they retreated.

Moments later, Karga returned with more drinks you knew one single man could carry, and you gaped at him. 

"Karga, I said water!" you pouted.   

"I got that, too," he replied, pushing a glass filled with clear liquid towards you, condensation beading down the side. 

You drank half of it immediately. You eyed the pink drink he'd also brought you back, unsure if it was wise. You weren't really one for drinking and smoking at the same time, it was risky business that. 

Greef lowered himself into the seat across from Mando. "Get on with it then, before I change my mind," he said to Mando, urging him to get the business talk over with, because he knew for sure that must be the reason for this highly unexpected appearance. 

  You didn't miss the way the Mandalorian looked at Karga in a silent challenge, daring him to cheek him again. Karga laughed it off, bumping one of Mando's pauldrons and slid one of the drinks across the table to the Mandalorian.

Mando's shoulders rose and fell in a sigh of defeat, like he just couldn't be bothered with the hassle.

"I think the puck you gave me was intended for someone else." With that, Mando slammed the puck onto the table, startling you slightly and some of the fuller drinks jumped out of their glasses onto the table. 

The puck's holo beamed up a second later, a picture of a wealthy, androgynous looking human male. 

He continued, "You know I can't be going anywhere near the Inner Rim." 

Karga peered at the puck. "Ah yes..." he glanced at Mando, then you, before chaotically spinning the puck across the table towards you. 

"Dank ferrick!!" you cursed, barely catching the puck under your palm as you slammed your hand down to the table quickly. 

  Karga burst out laughing, "coincidentally it was meant for her ladyship here. Very chivalrous to bring it to its rightful owner, Mando." 

  The Mandalorian's head spun to pin you with an unreadable gaze. After a tense moment, he said, "Who said I was returning it?" 

  You blinked at him, palm suddenly burning where the puck was sitting innocently beneath it. 

  Karga chuckled again. "Apologies for the assumption, old friend. How can I resolve the matter?" 

  Mando's gaze returned to Karga, briefly releasing you. "You promised me payment for this. The only solution I can see is a partnership for this bounty."

The Mandalorian turned back to you. "Don't you agree?" 

#the mandalorian #the mandalorian x reader #din djarin x reader #the mandalorian drabble #the mandalorian fanfic #this is a total hot mess hahaha #but i had fun #my writing #my drabbles #my fics #man i dont understand the spacing on tumblr at all im sorry

[jaskiersvalley]

Ok look, whenever i think that i finished reading all of ur ficlets, an old one will come up, and im left to wonder if i actually read everything. I think ive scrolled for about a week now and still not sure if ive read everything. In all seriousness tho, i love ur writings so much. I hope u kee writing bcs damn

Sometimes I think back to this ask and wonder whether you have managed to read everything or if there’s still some surprises in stock for you. I really hope that, no matter where you got to, you’ve continued enjoying the stories you find.

Today, I have something a little less usual to offer. It’s Gersakier but Geralt isn’t interested in sex, however he loves indulging Jaskier and also watching. So...have some Jaskier/Cahir with voyeur Geralt.

Mead, Weed and a Place to Breed

Novigrad was one of the last places on the continent where anyone could have a drink and not be harassed for merely existing. It was why Geralt liked it, Jaskier loved it for the simple fact that there was no judgement about practically anything. Sure, murder was frowned upon but that was only to be expected. However, he could sit on Geralt’s lap and eye fellow patrons up.

“Someone caught your eye, Buttercup?” Geralt asked, a hand rubbing over Jaskier’s thigh. He was into his third tankard of mead while Jaskier was still nursing his first goblet of wine.

“Mhm,” Jaskier sipped his drink, eyes fixed to a corner of the room. “In that dark corner, not brooding as pretty as you but comes a close second. Maybe third if Eskel would actually brood.”

Following his gaze, Geralt nodded appreciatively, Jaskier always did manage to find people who danced the line between pretty and rugged. This man was no different, Nilfgaardian armour, high cheekbones and the hints of a frowning pout. Absolutely the kind of person Jaskier favoured.

“Will you approach him?”

In reply, Jaskier hopped up and sashayed across the room, easily perching on on the startled man’s lap. Geralt knew exactly when Jaskier laid out his offer because the man’s eyes darted up to him, darkening with lust. It seemed that Jaskier had done it again.

Sure enough, not three minutes later they were emptying their drinks and Geralt took it as a cue to do the same. As he put his tankard down, he watched Jaskier lead the man by the hand towards him.

“Geralt, this is Cahir.” He introduced. “Cahir, Geralt, he’s my witcher and he likes to watch.”

“I have no problem with an audience.” It was exactly what Geralt liked to hear. “You got a room, Dandelion?”

The nickname didn’t even elicit a jealous frown from Geralt. He called Jaskier his Buttercup, most people called him Jaskier, and a few, rare partners were allowed Dandelion. It must have meant Cahir said or did the right thing to earn the right. This just made Geralt’s interest pique more.

They walked to the back of the tavern, to the rooms that could be bought for a night or two. Jaskier had managed to get one that wasn’t an absolute shit hole, it had a decent sized bed and a table with two chairs. There was just enough room to put the chair against the wall and watch what happened on the bed from a comfortable distance.

That was the thing. Geralt had absolutely zero desire to be the one on the bed. Sex didn’t appeal to him, he physically could enjoy it but mentally it was more of a chore than anything else. It was a sharp contrast to Jaskier who was happiest when his legs were spread or his mouth was full. After a few lacklustre rolls in a bed or by a campfire, they had agreed that it just wasn’t working. Well, not physically anyway. Because they still adored each other, Geralt loved being able to cuddle and touch without Jaskier flinching away. Meanwhile, Jaskier absolutely doted on Geralt, fussed over his every whim and need. They made each other happy even if they weren’t a conventional couple. Especially when it came to matters of the bedroom. Geralt had seen how Jaskier held back, tried to curb his physical needs because he was devoted to Geralt. It had led to a few conversations and the agreement that Jaskier could have anyone he wanted as long as Geralt could watch. Because Geralt loved watching Jaskier mindless with pleasure, it was so much better to see him rather than miss half his reactions because he was too busy trying to coax them from him.

In the room, no time was wasted being coy. Jaskier all but raced Cahir to get naked and on the bed first. It made Geralt smile fondly at his antics, always knowing exactly what he wanted and how. Jaskier was not shy in bed.

Sitting back, Geralt watched as the two knelt on the bed, facing each other. The kisses were heated, Jaskier seemingly yielding but only in that he encouraged Cahir to lick between his parted lips, coaxing him into something deeper and filthier.

Sometimes a bed partner might keep glancing to Geralt, wondering whether he was joining in, almost fearful of it. Thankfully, Cahir seemed to have no such worries about having a witcher watch him get it on with his boyfriend. Instead, he actually appeared to relish the audience, hands roaming and feeling Jaskier’s muscles, resting to frame them before moving on. Such a show was most definitely appreciated by Geralt.

Not that Jaskier was lying back and letting Cahir do all the work. He was mouthing against any skin he found, hand teasing along Cahir’s shaft, humming in pleasure at what he found.

“I want you to fuck me. Show me what they teach you in Nilfgaard.” His eyes were fixed on Cahir as he spoke. “Fuck the air from my lungs and fill me with your come.”

Some slick was pressed into Cahir’s hands and he didn’t hesitate in working Jaskier open. There was something especially pleasing about watching Jaskier’s mouth fall open, especially when Cahir took his cock between his lips. The way Jaskier’s muscles flexed as he rocked down on the fingers opening him up before pushing up into Cahir’s mouth. Geralt watched with contentment, knowing that Jaskier was getting everything he wanted.

“If you don’t get your dick in me, I will come down your throat and leave you hanging,” Jaskier growled, wriggling impatiently.

Thankfully, Cahir seemed to take it in good spirit and pulled away laughing, patting Jaskier on the thigh for good measure. “Whatever your lordship demands.”

“Damn right. Did I tell you I’m a viscount?”

Still grinning, Cahir rearranged them a little, Jaskier on his back, near the edge of the bed, his legs thrown over Cahir’s shoulders. It was a testament to how flexible Jaskier was, something that had Geralt surprised at times too.

As soon as Cahir pushed into him, Jaskier was making demands again, “Put those muscles to use, go harder.”

Incredibly, rather object, Cahir obeyed which had Jaskier crooning. “I could feel you twitch. You like it when I boss you around. Tell you to go faster-” he broke off with a groan as Cahir pressed forward, almost bending him in half, “-oh fuck, that’s it. Knew you would be good.”

Tipping his head back, it dangled off the edge of the bed so Jaskier could wink at Geralt before his lips formed an ‘oh’ of surprise.

“That right there. Do it again!”

As asked, Cahir repeated the motion but slower, rolling his hips deep and Jaskier arched. “Fucking faster! Don’t you dare slow down now.”

Huffing in entertainment, Cahir did as told. “As the little lordling wishes.”

Geralt could see the flush spreading down Jaskier’s neck and chest. Sweat made him glisten and Cahir was not much different either. They made for a very pretty picture, Jaskier bossy and demanding Cahir fuck him properly. The sound of skin on skin, the smell of it all, it wasn’t as offensive to Geralt when he wasn’t in the midst of it all. Plus, he got to watch as Cahir’s muscles started to shake from the exertion, Jaskier’s voice broke as he barked for more.

Sitting back, Geralt smiled as Jaskier’s hand wound into Cahir’s hair and pulled, their kiss more of a messy exchange of panted breaths than anything else. Something about the whole scene had Geralt slouching in his chair, legs falling open. It was quite the view, watching Cahir fuck his boyfriend quite so thoroughly.

“Right there. Fuck!” Jaskier was teetering on the edge and Geralt could happily appreciate how Cahir had been holding back until he was certain Jaskier was right there with him. As Jaskier came, he tipped his head back to lazily grin at Geralt, making sure he was still okay with things.

Most surprisingly, Cahir wasn’t pulling out and rushing out as soon as he was done. Instead, he kissed playfully along Jaskier’s jaw, nosing along his cheek with a smile.

“You okay there?”

It was the kind of care Geralt so rarely witnessed from Jaskier’s lovers, who were too eager the leave the presence of a witcher once they’d had their fun. Yet there was no jealousy as Jaskier turned his attention back to Cahir with a wide, lopsided smile and tugged at the hair that fell forward.

“More than.”

A few more kisses were exchanged before Cahir moved, helping Jaskier ease his legs down and giving them a quick rub.

“Guess this is where I bid you both a good night,” he said, wiping himself down with a cloth from the washbowl.

“You know,” Jaskier drawled, shamelessly sprawled on the bed still, “if we’re ever in Nilfgaard, I would love to look you up again.”

Cahir shook his head. “You’ll never find me there. Try Vicovaro. I’m heading back home.”

He was mostly dressed and Geralt didn’t miss the pout on Jaskier’s face. It was obvious that he had found a playmate he wasn’t done with yet. Maybe Geralt could see about taking a few contracts as far as Vicovaro.

“And if we were there, how would we find you?” Geralt asked, giving his permission for there to be more between his boyfriend and Cahir. “I doubt if I asked around, I could find you on a first name only.”

Cahir’s hand was on the latch to the door, ready to leave. He turned with a cheeky grin. “Just ask for the count.” Stepping out of the door, he turned with one final nod. “Witcher. Viscount.”

And like that, he was gone. Jaskier dropped his head back to the bed with a groan.

“I can’t believe he outranked me.”

Geralt snorted and settled on the bed, opening up an arm for Jaskier to snuggle in. He still smelled of another man and sex but that was okay.

“I think he outranked you in more than just title,” he teased and got a halfhearted smack to the arm for it. They both knew he was right and Jaskier was going to be demanding more. Nothing for it, Geralt was just going to have to find a contract he couldn’t refuse in Vicovaro. Maybe he could even find a contract to escort a count home, it was a dangerous road to travel after all.

#geraskier #jaskier/cahir #geralt of rivia #jaskier #cahir #voyerurism #tldr: geralt watches as cahir bends jaskier in half

[thenervousmedic]

I had a minecraft dream last night...

This is going to be a long post, but bear eith me, and take the time to read it.

I don't dream about minecraft very often. In fact this might be a first. I'm still in bed while writing this, as im afraid if I wait I'll lose a bunch of the memories.

It involved myself and a few members of the Dream SMP getting sucked into MC. Ironic, I know. Dream, George, Badboyhalo, Tecnoblade, Wilbur Soot, Tommyinnit, and myself. We all looked like our avatars... mostly, and even had some special skills i'll get into later.

To be clear, they were as they are in real life in terms of personality.

I've not watched the dream smp yet... maybe I should start soon. Anyway, side tracked...

The world worked differently than normal MC. It was more realistic, especially the combat and movement. Anything you can do irl you can do here. The drawback was that it made everything harder and more exhausting.

I was dragged in a month before the others, where over the next four weeks, I'd figure out how the lives system works; how difficult movement was; that crafting was nearly the same as normal mc; and how to build.

Five lives. There was a little tracker on the back of your hand, five squares for five lives. Each life you lost, a square would disappear. But it wasnt that simple. Every tine you died you'd feel the affects of the world more. Eating took longer, everything cost more and more realistic amounts of effort, and most importantly... taking damage would actually hurt.

On your first life damage was less of a danger and more of a 'stat' to just be aware of. Getting attacked, shot, exploded next to, ect wasn't too bad. But the more you died the more these things started to get scary. Arrows would tear their way in and ve painful to remove. You'd bleed and have actual wounds that needed care.

By the time the smp members were spawning in, I'd already been reduced to my last life. I was never good at minecraft, though im alright irl with a bow it didnt help much.

You spawn in unconcious. I'd lost my first life that way. I spawned above water. A painless drowning. I hadn't gone back to the ocean since, it scared the fuck out of me.

The first to arrive was Techno. I went back to spawn for the good sheep spawns there. Found him asleep in the grass. He was lucky no creepers had spawned.

Nearly everyone was bigger than me, I'm pretty small, so hauling this guys limp piglin ass all the way to my little safety shack was really hard.

Then Dream and George one after another. Badboy. Tommy... and finally Wilbur.

Wilbur was... a special case. He was a ghost. Just like his ghostbur skin had been. Fully awake, really freaking out. I was near collapsing from taking everyone else to my home, wasnt really much of a comfort, but I at least managed to convince him to come with me after the sun started to dip.

When we got back Wilbur helped me make beds. Couldn't have everyone sleeping propped up against the walls... Wilbur couldn't grab anything, but he could open and close chests. He also found out he could manafest things like his guitar, and a plushie orca. Things that made him a little less anxious. It was nice to hear music again.

I didnt get to talk to him long. We finished the beds, put everyone on one, then I immediatly konked the fuck out over the crafting table.

By the time I woke up, everyone was already awake and talking. The typical suspects. Why are we here, how, what happened, is this even real. You get the picture. I guess usually social anxiety, especially in the presence of people I admire so much, would've been a big stressor but after a month alone in this world I damn near started bawling at the thought of someone else even existing.

I told them all I know. We are stuck here, we have lives, dont fucking lose them it makes the game harder. The physics are just as janky as regular minecraft, mobs are much more articulated, armour actually has weight and at this point I wasnt aware of the little buffs everyone had to a particular skill.

Dream was incredibly good at exploiting the game's wonky system and parkouring, even of he couldnt nessesarily do it irl.

Techno was suddenly extremely knowledgeable about combat and could handle most weapons effectively. He was also a piglin-type guy which made him immune to fire.

George's coding skills translated directly into redstone knowledge, letting him build ridiculous machines with enough respources.

Tommy had incredible luck with loot and generally got good enchants.

And Bad was, thanks to his skin, some form of demonic entity and would be completely ignored by most hostile mobs.

Wilbur, as you know, was a ghost who could phase through anything and summon ghostly items.

We didn't find out everyone's special trait immediatly, of course. It happened over many days of trail and error trying to collect resources, build, and have fun.

Turns out my skill was useless by myself, hence why I never found it before they arrived. Anything I gave to another person was twice as effective. Healing items helped more, food would fill them on smaller portions, armour would get a free temporary enchant depending on what they needed.

I'd never liked playing minecraft alone.

I'm losing some of the dream, I shoukd wtite some bullet points down or this post will be miles long.

Tommy accidently befriended a wolf, he named it Wilbur to mess with Wilbur. We had two Wilburs.

Bad was constantly driven up the wall by peoples language but truly was using it as a coping mechanism early on because he was afraid of being stuck here forever. We made sure to swear occasionally so he'd get the oportunity to yell at us.

Techno lost his first life when a creeper blast threw him directly into Dream's sword.

Dream never got over it.

Wilbur started making more songs and even made a few targetted at the groups adventures.

Wilbur descovered if he goes into the floor he cant tell which was is up, this terrified him, he never went underground again.

George made automatic farms and eventually even non-minecraft typical things like a morning alarm clock, a compass that pointed to the nearest village, and invented new armour that was more lightweight but still protective.

Wilbur the wolf regularly barked at and mauled giant spiders before they got anywhere near the house, much to literally everyone's relief.

Bad learned how to read and write enchanting table symbols.

I taught Dream how to repair his clothes and in return he showed me how to build traps.

Techno learned he could talk hoglin, piglin, and villager.

Bad learned he could stare at endermen and mistakingly assumed everyone could so he told everyone else its ok to do so.

Tommy lost his first life to an enderman.

Wilbur worked with george for a whole week on special gloves that would let him touch stuff.

I took an arrow dangerously close to the lungs after Tomny's first respawn trying to bring him home.

Dream realised he couldn't take off his mask and wished he could see the world normally again, nobody knew what his vision was like.

Bad descovered a joy for cooking.

Bad also tamed a cat and named it Muffin.

Muffin the cat would ride Wilbur the wolf around.

Dream lost his first life to hunger after pushing himself for too long.

Techno took a wrong step in the neather and lost his second life to a seriously long fall.

I never knew what I looked like...

Tommy lost his second life being overrun by zombies without a weapon. We made a rule to never leave the house alone after this many deaths.

Bad descovered pretty late that milk is poisonous to him and thus cakes will kill him. He lost a life to cake. He was devastated.

Tommy built a cute campfire. He and Wilbur would mess around singing at it. Wolf Wilbur thoroughly enjoyed this.

I would stay up most of the night watching everyone sleep because I worried the house could get invaded or surrounded. They found out after Phantoms started spawning and made a rule that at least one of then would stay awake at night to make me feel better.

George built Dream an obstacle course with lots of moving parts and such. He ran it every morning.

I learned how to play guitar from Wilbur at the campfire.

Torches never burnt out after they arrived. No idea why.

That's all I can remember...

It was a hard dream, I was sad and angry sometimes... but the happy moments made it worth it.

I hope I return to that dream someday.

#dream #badboyhalo #georgenotfound #technoblade #wilbur soot #tommyinnit #minecraft #a dream #long post

[milfisolde]

under read more bc i put too much effort into my ocs and there is A Lot. tw for violent stuff

this will be updated every time i think of something for him!

deviantart link

Rollick

“The Ravenous” ? idk I suck at titles

no accessories

Size reference

why does he have anime hair if hes a fish? because he’s my oc and i say so

I MADE ICONS FOR THE LOCATIONS AND CLASS AND OTHER CHAMPIONS’ ABILITIES AND TUMBLR WONT’T LET ME ADD THEM WITHOUT FUCKING THE WHOLE POST UP

Short crappy bio

A young shark-like Vastaya. Born in Ionia, west of the island Sudaro. He was captured as a child by  Bilgewater pirates after straying too close to the surface and being found. Was then put to work on the Slaughter Docks, and trained to hunt in the traditional Serpent Isles manner: “launching themselves at their targets to secure tow-hooks with their bare hands, and beginning to butcher the creatures while they yet lived.”.

I need to update myself on League lore, but I would like him 2 be acquaintances with Nami and Fizz. Also, Rollick would have heard stories about Pyke and would find him really cool. Ideally, he would have Johnny Yong Bosch as his voice actor because I love how he voiced Kung Jin in Mortal Kombat X, but I don’t know how he’d do with a pirate accent lmao.

Kit

Would be classed as a Fighter with the sub-class Diver. At least I think he would.  

His kit is basically just a mash-up of multiple champions with extra ingredients. Riot do it themselves, so I'm allowed to, too. Pirate lingo used for most of his abilities and voice lines b/c I'm not creative for naming things.

 Passive "Blow the Man Down." : A mash-up of Rengar and Darius' but more complicated. Auto-attacking 3 times in a row, or using abilities, gives his unused abilities 3 different tiers of empowerment. (Like, if you auto-attack 3 times, use W, then Q, his E will have tier 3 empowerment.). Tiers 2 and 3 gives the target bleed when hit by abilities, applying "Blood in the Water."  Applying the bleed multiple times makes it stack, tier 2 stacks like two stacks of tier 1 bleed, tier 3 stacks like two stacks of tier 2 bleed. How many times can it stack? Idk. 5? 7? 10?? ok probably not 10 that would be stupid.

2nd passive "Clipper." : Rollick moves faster in the river; this move speed scales with his normal move speed.

Q "Feed the Fish." : Tier 1 is a swipe in an AOE cone with his claws. Tier 2 is a small lunge in a targeted direction with two swipes, one with each hand. Tier 3 is a longer distance lunge with a bite. If tier 3 lands on a moving target (examples: scuttlecrab when it dashes, Ezreal using his E), it will follow the target like Warwick Q/Evelynn E. The bite will also heal him for a small amount.

W "Hook, Line, Sinker." : is like Rengar's Bola Strike with a wider but shorter range for tiers 1 and 2, but he leaps in the targeted direction at tier 3 and if he hits something, covers it with his net and stays on top of them for a short amount of time. Tier 2 spins the target around from they way Rollick throws his net and will turn the opposite direction of the way the target was originally standing. If you're facing Rollick and the tier 2 net hits you, your back is now turned to Rollick.

E "Chase." : Warwick Blood Hunt but either less or more annoying. Cooldown is shorter in duration, but so is its active. The passive part of it only shows paths to champions affected with a bleed, burn or poison DOT effect. (Includes: Rollick's "Blood in the Water", Darius'  "Hemorrhage", Brand's  "Blaze", Gangplank's  "Trial by Fire", Lillia's  "Dream Dust", Cassiopeia's  "Noxious Poison" and  "Debilitating Poison", Twitch's "Deadly Venom", Teemo's  "Toxic Shot" and  "Noxious Trap", Singed's  "Poison Trail", the  "Scorch" rune,  "Ignite" summoner spell,  "Challenging Smite" summoner spell, "Azakana Gaze" from  Demonic Embrace, and "Torment" from  Liandry's Anguish.

R "Cleave 'Em to the Brisket!" : Similar to Skarner's "Impale". Rollick takes the hooked blade he has on his belt and lunges at the target, stabbing into the enemy champion's chest with his chest to their back, and drags them away. "Cleave 'Em to the Brisket!" can only be used on a champion that has their back turned towards Rollick. It applies a tier 3 "Blood in the Water." upon use. It can yank champions out of  Displacement Immunity, but doesn't suppress the target champion entirely, they are still able to use dash and blink abilities, use Thresh's  "Dark Passage", recast  "Death Sentence" , and use most movement summoner spells ( Flash, Hexflash, Mark/Dash), but if they do, half of their current HP is taken away from the hooked knife being dragged/yanked out of them. If you are 30% HP and you use one of the movement abilities mentioned, you will leave with 15% HP and two stacks of tier 3 bleed. For 5 seconds after using his ult, Rollick uses his knife to attack, gaining increased auto-attack range and his autos apply a tier 1 bleed stack per hit. The enhanced auto-attacks drag his targets towards him because of the hook part in his knife getting caught on them.

Animation ideas

(I used google to find every gif/picture, save for the “dance” one. they have tumblr links bc when writing this tumblr shit itself when i wanted to save it as a draft and i kept it open in a different tab and copy/pasted everything. im sorry some of the gifs are weird aslkfjdjf)

Walking animation is him using his arms and tail to "crawl". imagine the gif has a tail instead of legs

Running animation is the same concept, just with much more effort put into making himself move faster. Moving in the river looks more like he’s swimming rather than crawling. Slowed animation is him dragging himself slowly with his head facing the ground, putting weight on his elbows instead of using his arms completely. Like an army crawl but in pain.

Idle animation is him crossing his arms and resting on his elbows, then looking around and inspecting his claws.

If left in idle animation for more than 15 seconds, he drops down completely and puts his head in his arms and dozes off. Moving after the sleep idle will have him shake his head awake when starting to move.

Death animation is him trying to crawl, being unable to, then collapsing on his side and flopping onto his back.

Taunt animation is him straightening himself then lashing out with his hands and baring his teeth before "biting" the air in the direction he’s standing, voice lines coming out before the bite part.

Joke animation is him chasing his own tail? Maybe he gets tangled in his net after doing it for a second and just struggles there until the animation is interrupted.

Dance is uh. He straightens up and does knife tricks. He doesn’t have legs, doesn’t have a staff like Nami, and just wouldn’t dance like Cassiopeia.

I made the gif using footage from here.

His laugh animation would be him laughing and flopping onto his back, then turning back onto his stomach. All but one of his laughs would be loud and hearty, the one that isn’t would sound like Kung Jin’s laugh.

Voice line ideas

First encounters:

Bilgewater/Bilgewater themed champion:

"Ahoy!" "Ahoy, bucko!" "Ahoy, scallywag."

Multiple champions simultaneously/champions who have a visible partner/partners with them (examples: Kindred, Sejuani, Lulu with Pix, Elise with her Spiderlings, Azir with his Sand Soldiers):

"Ahoy, me hearties."

Pyke:

"Pyke?! I’ve heard stories of you! Though… You’re smaller than I had imagined..." "Hey there, old salt! " "Ahoy, seadog! "

Nami:

"Good to see a friendly face! Shame it’s on the wrong side." "Oh! Little lass! Have you found your stone yet? "

Fizz:

"Little trickster! Where’s your big friend? "

Illaoi:

“Test? Gonna get myself an A-plus-plus! …That’s the good grade, right?

Taunts:

Any champion:

"Scurvy dog! " "AAARRRRGGGGHHHH! "

Bird/bird themed/winged champion:

"Polly want a cracker? "

Tahm Kench:

“The only creature with an appetite bigger than mine” “You put me to shame with that maw of yours! You could fit me in it!”

Abilities/eliminations:

Tier 3 "Feed the Fish.":

(after used on champion wearing armour/with tough skin)

"Ouch… I think I broke a tooth. Good thing I got more. "

(after used on champion with fur/feathers/long hair)

" (violent spitting-out-fluff noises) Blegh! "

Tier 1 and 2 "Hook, Line, Sinker. ":

"Catch! " "Avast, ye! "

Tier 2 "Hook, Line, Sinker. " after turning someone around:

"Bring a spring upon ‘er! " "Broadside! "

Using "Chase. " with a DOT’d champion in range:

"Chum in the water…" " (deep inhale, then a rumbling growl) "

Using "Chase. " with affected champion visible:

"Lookin’ a bit squiffy there…" " (laughter) Yesss… "

Eliminate champion:

"Take a caulk. "

Eliminate champion while using "Cleave ‘Em to the Brisket!" or the enhanced auto-attacks after:

"Hah, keelhauled! " “Taste me steel n’ may the devil take ye!”

“PENTAKILL!”:

"Dead men tell no tales…"

Respawn:

"What a flogging…" "Alright, I’ve fed the fish… Now it’s their turn. "

Pings:

(Danger!):

"Heave to! " "Avast ye! "

(Assist me!):

"All hand hoy! " "All hands on deck! "

(Assist me!) followed up by (On my way!), or vice versa:

"Weigh anchor and hoist the mizzen! "

(Area is warded.):

"They’ve got a lookout. "

(Target champion):

"Thar she blows! " "Sail, ho! " "Savvy? " "Hang ‘em from the Yardarm! "

Miscellaneous:

Allied champion drinks potion or gets healed by another ally when Rollick has missing HP:

"Splice the mainbrace! Please?"

Alone with low HP, no potions or actives available, or sells all items:

"Looks like I’m marooned…"

Healed by ally:

"Feeling shipshape!" "Much obliged." "I’m in your debt." "Thank you!" "Thanks!"

Receives shutdown gold:

"Ha-ha! Plundered! " “Bounty taken.”

Flashing away from enemy:

"Blimey! " "Gah!” "Sink me! " " (girly shriek) "

#league of legends #league of legends oc #lol oc #vastaya #vastayan oc #my art #it took me like a week to think of all of this #and write it down/draw it/ collect/make gifs #miki.txt

[danceintheskies]

every fire emblem boxart, rated

shadow dragon and the blade of light

pantsless marth… phenomenal. cool composition w mars’s lads in the shadow of his cape. vaguely racist hardin makes me feel some kinda way tho. also check out this guy who’s dabbing

5/10: where’s cain bro…

gaiden

celica is pretty. dong armour alm calls out to the poem of my soul. beautifully rendered bg. valbar is there but it’s ok he’s chaperoning their date

4.5/10 duma looks a little like thanos here and it’s setting off alarm bells

mystery of the emblem

YEAHHHHHH the composition’s a little less inspired than the others and the horses look kind of janky but who CARES we have CAEDA and MERRIC and LINDE and BLONDE BASTARD and CAEDA’S HUSBAND and MEDEUS and A MYSTERIOUS DRAGON I WONDER WHO THAT MIGHT BE HUEHUEHUE

YEAAAAHHHH/10: YEEEEAAAAAHHHHH!!!!

genealogy of the holy war

you will see people take the piss on fe4′s art style. i will be one of them. but i will say this does a good job of representing a story passing from one generation to the next. my boy seliph is front and center and all is right with the world-- wait, what do you mean im playing as his bimbo dad for the first twelve hours of this game

5.5/10 i can respect that sigurd is using his canon weapon, Silver Sword

thracia 776

this is so. chefs kiss. youve got all your major players. my boy leif looks radiant. the sepia tone works well for the serious tone of the game. the only gripe i have is that kempf looks way too serious for someone whose defining character trait is that he has a constant envy boner for reinhar

7/10 wait what do you mean reinhardt isn’t the lord of this game

binding blade

AAAAUUUUHHGH i dont even LIKE binding blade but this artwork is just so sexy . they really nailed the more painterly watercolour style starting with the gba games yall. roy and lilina contrasted with murdock and -mysterious hooded girl huehue- in the shadows is so artfully done i can’t even make jokes about it

10/10 roy’s my boy now

blazing blade

this used to be one of my least favourite fe boxarts UNTIL i learned the english ver dulled down the colours quite a bit. hector looks like he came 10 minutes late to the photoshoot and doesn’t know what’s happening, and i’m into it.

8/10 lyn i love you but please tell me you’re wearing underwear

sacred stones

oh FUck Yes

Fuck Yes/10: thank you for my life sachiko wada

path of radiance

i could literally wax poetic about this picture for years, and not just because this is my favourite fe. you’ve got all your major players. you’ve got cool vfx and generally beautiful painted style courtesy of legend on earth kita senri. you’ve got soren about to beat up his darwinist homophobe of a dad. I’ve got the full res version of this pic saved to my desktop so i can look at ike’s muscly forearms in hd at any time what’s not to love

10000000/10 thank you ike for defeating racism

radiant dawn

fire emblem radiant dawn was an ambitious game, especially with its overarching villain and final boss, Unnamed Wyvern Rider

7/10 did you know they had a whole team of people dedicated to making the characters in these games as pretty as possible. you can put more of them on the boxart guys it’s ok

shadow dragon

Where’s Marth

Where’s Marth/10: where is he

new mystery of the emblem

i can dig it. the filmstrip/hanging scroll style is very reminiscent of the original famicom games with a new spin. daisuke izuka’s marth is center stage, looking handsome :)

8/10 hardin isn’t vaguely racist anymore

awakening

literally iconic. sexy symbolism with everyone’s weapons parallel to each other as they dive into the future while masked marth dives into the past. more clean and bare-bones than a lot of the other covers, but in the best way-- it really feels like a timeless game.

10/10 why’d they have to do my mans kellam like that tho

fates

stunning. what sexy duality. thank you for going this hard kozaki yusuke

9/10 raised the bar way too high for this game

echoes

hidari was such a good choice for this game, his style is always so... wistful? i can forgive only having alm and celica on the cover since it focuses on fewer main characters than, say, radiant dawn. the sorta-parallel lines of troops into the clouds as alm and celica stand back to back really sets the tone for this game. why are there wyverns in the sky when you never see any tho ajhsdjfsa

9.5/10 i kind of miss valbar. i hope he’s okay

three houses

all three of these house leaders are going to collapse on top of each other after the photo is taken.

makes you think/10: claude is the only person in this game who has any braincells and he’s using the tip of his bow as an honest to god weapon . guys .

in conclusion

fire emblem is a game that exists

#fire emblem #my posts #long posts #ok to rb #this is my 75000th post! #50