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ssa-atlas-alvez · 2 years

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Whumptober Day 3 (Luke Alvez x Male BAU Reader)

No. 3 A HAIR’S BREADTH FROM DEATH

Gun to Temple | “Say goodbye.” | Impaled

This is my 1,800th post lol, that’s absolutely mental, also I went all out on this one, please please please read the warnings and tags.

Also there’s aspects of it that aren’t perfect but I’m okay with that, maybe I’ll change it in the future, maybe I won’t, who knows lol

Warnings: major character death, guns, suicide, suicide attempt, Russian roulette, failed suicide, dead body (not graphic, I don’t think)

Word Count: 2034

@whumptober-archive

"Say goodbye," You motion vaguely to your mouth, duct taped shut, with as much sass as you physically could. "Ah, not you. Bad hostages don't get to say goodbye. Bad hostages don't get closure." You glare at the man as he taps your nose with a grin. "No, you don't get closure." He turned around, scanning the other hostages, eyes settling on Luke who's in front of you. "He can get closure,"

You shut your eyes, hoping that, to outsiders, it looks like your mourning not being able to say goodbye to those you love. You know you're being selfish, but you don't know if you can listen to Luke exchanging his last goodbyes with Lisa.

This unsub (name still unknown) had taken large groups of citizens hostage, hurting and threatening them, before forcing members to phone their loved ones and say goodbye before he killed them. He had done this four times already with no hostages making it out alive. You and Luke were just on a coffee run when the unsub took control of the room, it was only a small coffee shop (you had convinced Luke to support a small business, he had rolled his eyes with a small smile before agreeing), and now here you were.

The unsub drags Luke to the phone, who punches in some numbers before it begins to ring. It takes three rings for Lisa to answer.

“Hello?” You furrowed your eyebrows at the voice. That certainly wasn’t Lisa.

“Hey,” Luke voice wavered

“Luke? What’s wrong?”

“Emily, I-” Luke cut himself off, swallowing. He needed to make this sound as believable as possible. “He’s making us say goodbye,”

“Luke-”

“Just let me talk, let me talk, please,” Luke’s eyes drift from the phone to you. “I know we work together and we aren’t really supposed to have relationships at work but the second I get out of this- the second, I want to be with you. I love you, I think I have for a while, but I just, things got too messy and I couldn’t say anything, I was with Lisa, you were with Kai and it just didn’t line up. But if- when I make it through this, you and I? We’re going to make up for lost time.”

At the police station, Emily’s eyes flicked up to Rossi, “We’re going to be together, you’re going to get out of this,” She hoped Luke would get the message. We’re coming for you.

Garcia’s heart ached as she and the rest of the team watched over CCTV. The situation was not good to say the least. They watch as Luke confessed his love to you through Emily, they watched the emotions fly through your eyes despite your best efforts to mask them. They saw your hands trembling slightly in front of you as you listened, as Luke’s eyes filled with tears, hands twitching towards you. All he wanted to do was embrace you, love you, be with you.

“I love you, so much, so much it physically hurts, but in the best way possible,” Luke said, only breaking eye contact to take a breath. “I’m a better person for knowing you, even if we don’t get the chance to be with each other, I’m a better person for loving you,”

Your sob was muffled by the tape covering your lips, but your shoulders still shook, the tears still trickled down your cheeks, sliding past the tape and under your chin. He loved you too. All this time, all those years could have been spent together. All this time wasted dancing around each other when you could have been together. Perhaps you would live together by now, engaged? Married? Thinking about kids? You’ve always known you wanted kids. You let yourself imagine having kids with Luke, him chasing them around the garden, the kids and Luke in a fit of giggles while you hold a hot cup of coffee close to your chest.

“And I’m so sorry that we may never become an ‘us’,” Luke added gently.

The unsub’s smirking, until he sees your shoulders shaking with silent sobs. He presses his gun to Luke’s temple. “You’re not talking to her, are you?” He spits.

Luke doesn’t answer until the unsub pushes the barrel of the gun harder into his temple. “No,”

“You’re speaking to him, aren’t you?” He says, using his other hand to point at you.

“Yes,”

The man gives a laugh before turning to you, gun still against Luke’s head. “You, get up,” When you don’t move, he shoves the gun harder against Luke’s head, “Get up!”

You scramble up the best you can with your hands tied. “You too Luke,” The unsub’s hands are clenched around Luke’s shirt collar, “You, not-Luke, in front, come on.” You stand in front of Luke, “Good, now, you’re going to lead the way, try anything, I put a bullet through lover-boy’s head.” You nod sharply.

You follow the unsub’s directions, it leads you down into the basement, under a drain and into the drain systems. You do as he says, not finding a safe opportunity to try and disarm him, not whilst his gun is flush up against Luke’s skin. There’s not even a chance to disarm him when he climbs up the ladder. He’s quick to put the cover back on. You look around, you appear to be in an abandoned warehouse. He forces you and Luke both on the ground, kneeling against the concrete floor, opposite each other but still relatively close.

When the unsub takes the duct tape from your mouth, the first words that come out are aimed at Luke, an urgent ‘I love you too’, he smiles and nods with a quiet ‘I know’ and you find yourself smiling.

The unsub, disgusted by this, doesn’t waste any more time. He tips the bullets out of the gun, placing one back into it’s rightful place in the chamber before pocketing the rest - the two of you too caught up in the moment to notice - he spins the chamber before shoving it into its position. He aims the gun and pulls the trigger.

The team back at the station split up, getting in their cars, speeding to the location Garcia sent them - she was able to narrow down which tunnel he would take based on the profile. Emily, Rossi, and Tara get there first, Matt, Spencer, and JJ pulling up a second later. Emily orders Matt and Tara to head round back, the rest of them are going through the front. There’s the familiar sound of a gunshot and the team starts running.

There’s a loud bang and something warm splatters against your cheek. You watch as a small strip of blood rolls down Luke’s temple before his body collapses to the ground, lifeless, eyes already beginning to gloss over.

You don’t realise you're screaming until the unsub’s hand clamps over your mouth. You struggle against him. Luke. You needed to get to Luke. You shout, bite, everything you can think of. Eventually, he decides it’s not worth it and he stops, turns and runs. Leaving you alone with Luke. Sobbing, you scramble to your left, grabbing a piece of glass from the floor, frantically cutting at the rope on your hands - not caring as you accidentally scrape the glass across your skin. “Luke? Luke, hang on!” When the rope’s off your wrists, now a bundle on the floor, you scan the room, spotting the phone you dial Garcia’s number, it being the only one you have memorised (other than Luke’s). Garcia answers, patching you through to everyone as she’s tracking your phone. You drop the phone, no longer caring about them on the other side - help was on the way, now you needed to be with Luke.

You crouch beside him, hands hovering for a moment before pulling him up and into your lap, his back flush against your chest, his head lolls to the side, lifeless. You press your forehead in the crook of his neck. “Luke?” The silence makes you whimper, “Luke please,” Your hands clench the fabric of his t-shirt tightly, you sniff, “Please?” You clutch him tighter to your chest, a sob wracking through your body. “I love you too,” You cry, “So much, so please don’t leave me,”

In the silence, you open your eyes. You spot the gun, not too far from where you’re sat. You could join him. You could finally be with him, after all this time. You’re moving slowly, sluggish. It’s heavy and cold in your hands, sending pins and needles up your hand, of anticipation? Anxiety? Grief? You’re not sure. You draw in a deep breath as you close your eyes as you lift the gun to your temple, waiting for the courage. A tear slips past your eyelashes, you draw in one final breath. You’re ready. You nod to yourself, keeping your eyes closed as you begin to pull the trigger.

“(Y/N), no!”

There’s a click and you’re ready. But nothing happens, your face falls and your eyes snap open, no. No, no, no, no, no, please no. You open the chamber and there’s nothing there. “Fuck!” You growl, you look up, locking eyes with Emily, “It’s empty, there’s nothing there!”

“(Y/N), we need you to give me the gun,” Emily’s voice is level but you shake your head.

“No,” Your answer is immediate, “No, he- and I-”

You don’t process Spencer running towards Luke, checking his pulse with JJ, before he looks up at her and shakes his head. You don’t see Rossi and edging closer to Emily. You don’t hear Matt and Tara walking up behind you.

“I know,” Emily answers softly. “I know, but I need you to give me the gun,”

“There’s nothing in it!” You yell, “It’s fucking empty!” You throw it, following it with your glare. And it lands, a foot from Luke’s body. Luke. You’re about to run to him when you see Emily give a small nod and Matt’s arms wrap tightly around, pulling you close to him. “Get off!”

“(Y/N), it’s okay, it’s me,”

“Get off me!” Your breaths coming in pants as you try to manoeuvre your way out of the hold, all you want is Luke. You want to be with Luke. Why can’t you be with Luke? A sob leaves your lips, “Luke?!” Part of you expects him to sit up, joke about having a headache, for him to glide over to you and gently envelop you in his embrace. Your frantic eyes meet Emily’s, filled with tears. “I need- I need to be with him, please-”

Rossi comes into your view, tears trekking down his cheeks, but his voice is even, “Kid, I need you to listen to me,” Your eyes meet his, a sense of comfort rushes over you. “I need you to take some deep breaths with me, okay?” You nod frantically, wanting him to know you’ll try, you will. “Okay, breathe with me,”

You follow his breathing, in for four, hold, out for four. Your breath hitches for a moment, before his voice calmly guides you through it. Five minutes pass and they’re no longer worried you’re an immediate threat to yourself, Matt’s arms are gone and you miss the comfort. They were helping ground you. You turn to him, chin wobbling as you remember and he understands and gently wraps his arms around you. Emily and Dave send him a look and he sighs before turning his attention back to you. “I’m going to need to put these on, just as a precaution,”

You nod, what else could you do? With the handcuffs in place (in front of you), Matt places an arm around your shoulders, you bury your head into his shoulders. He rubs his hand in circles in the centre of your back, “Let’s go,” He says softly.

Shaking your head you whisper, “I can’t see him like that again,” The image flashes past your eyes, body, lifeless, pool of blood. You shudder, hands gripping Matt’s shirt as you try and push the image from your mind.

“That’s okay,” Matt answers, “We’re going out the way I came in,”

“Okay.”

“We’ll get you through this, (Y/N), I promise.”

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uschi-the-listener · 1 year

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harm to self

bodies are stupid

but they sure do want to

stay alive

imagine

a suicide attempt

gone horribly wrong

living in a body

that broke

forever

kept alive

by the well-meaning

the legal

the misplaced kindness

of professional

do-gooders.

imagine that.

nothing works right

maybe you can’t breathe

without machines

or walk

or feed yourself

or think straight

or know yourself

you depend upon

objective love

to live your

loveless life

to keep a life

going

that you tried to

push away

whatever method you

tried

tried and failed

and you live

till you are old

stuck in that life

that you wanted

to throw away

but shattered

instead

and lived with the

broken pieces

forever

in a single

painful

ugly

moment.

#suicide #failed suicide

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butwilltherebealcohol · 2 years

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idk

that feeling when you meet someone new, for any reason, and they first see your scars. and even if you’re lucky and they don’t explicitly say anything or make any big deal over it you notice. you see that little flick of their eyes to your wrist(or where ever) and then away for a minute, almost embarrassed, and a quick shift in their look that’s so quick you’d think you were imagining it if you didn’t see it every time this happens. pity? fear? disgust? confusion? regret they’re talking to you at all? something there just for a heartbeat and then it goes away and they seem to act like nothing happened but you know from that moment on they won’t ever look at you quite the same

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nothumbsnothoughts · 11 months

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Chapters: 45/? Fandom: 僕のヒーローアカデミア | Boku no Hero Academia | My Hero Academia Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Midoriya Izuku/Todoroki Shouto, Hatsume Mei & Midoriya Izuku, Bakugou Katsuki & Midoriya Izuku, Bakugou Katsuki/Kirishima Eijirou, Kaminari Denki/Shinsou Hitoshi, Iida Tenya/Midoriya Izuku/Todoroki Shouto, Iida Tenya/Midoriya Izuku, Iida Tenya/Midoriya Izuku/Shinsou Hitoshi/Todoroki Shouto, Midoriya Izuku/Shinsou Hitoshi, Kaminari Denki/Midoriya Izuku/Shinsou Hitoshi, Iida Tenya/Kaminari Denki/Midoriya Izuku/Todoroki Shouto, Iida Tenya/Kaminari Denki/Midoriya Izuku/Shinsou Hitoshi, Iida Tenya/Kaminari Denki/Midoriya Izuku/Shinsou Hitoshi/Todoroki Shouto Characters: Hatsume Mei, Maijima Higari | Power Loader, Aizawa Shouta | Eraserhead, Class 1-A (My Hero Academia), Midoriya Inko, Class 1-B (My Hero Academia), Kan Sekijirou | Vlad King, Hakamata Tsunagu | Best Jeanist Additional Tags: Quirkless Midoriya Izuku, Suicide Attempt, just at the beginning, Slow Burn, Midoriya Izuku Does Not Have One for All Quirk, Fluff, Shinsou Hitoshi Replaces Mineta Minoru, Hurt/Comfort, Mineta Minoru is Expelled from U.A. High School, Support Department Midoriya Izuku, Pining, Mutual Pining, Pining Todoroki Shouto, Pining Midoriya Izuku, Bakugou Katsuki Swears A Lot, Bakugou Katsuki is Bad at Feelings, Cute Midoriya Izuku, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Romantic Fluff, Falling In Love, Shinsou Hitoshi is in Class 1-A, Protective Class 1-A (My Hero Academia), Holding Hands, Oblivious Midoriya Izuku, Toogata Mirio Has One for All Quirk, First Crush, Boys In Love, Soft Bakugou Katsuki, Midoriya Izuku is a Ray of Sunshine, Protective Bakugou Katsuki, Bakugou Katsuki is a Good Friend, Bakugou Katsuki learning to be a Good Friend, Misunderstandings, Fluff and Humor, Attempt at Humor, U.A. Support Department (My Hero Academia), Big Sis Magne Lives, Gay Panic, Love Confessions, First Kiss, First Dates, Communication, U.A. Dorms (My Hero Academia), Dorms, Bakugou Katsuki Redemption, Polyamory, main ship tododeku that becomes polyamorous in later chapters, Eri is safe, Soft Bakugou Katsuki/Kirishima Eijirou, Analyst Midoriya Izuku, Bakugou Katsuki is not attacked by the sludge villain, All Might does not drop the bottle with the sludge villain Summary:

When Izuku jumps, a hero-to-be is there to save him. Focusing on his analytical skills, Izuku joins the support course and sets out to prove he doesn't need a quirk to make a difference.

Izuku becoming a support hero and falling in love along the way. Shouto just wants to give him all the love he deserves.

#failed suicide #polyamarous #gay #Izuku x Shoto #Izuku x Tenya #izuku x hitoshi #izuku x dentist #bakugo x kirishima #quirkless midoriya izuku

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the-meme-monarch · 1 month

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hey. what if i got really normal about (my designs for) the fallen kids. i promise.

my prev drawings of them here :]

also scrapped doodles involving flowey bc I forgot flowey probably didn’t exist for a while until at least most of them were dead, what with alphys’ dt experiments. i just wanted kris and flowey to meet :( they grew up together in another universe

#the art gallery #undertale #undertale ocs #their items they died with are referenced from their heals in the omega flowey fight ! i thought a lot abt that :]#ive been pouring over these for abt a month so if there’s anything i Failed to elaborate on feel free to ask :]#child death mention #suicide mention #ask to tag

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bidokja · 4 months

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every time i see a post saying that kim dokja exists only in the "third" round because he dies on the subway in all the other rounds i want to scream. he doesn't die on the subway. SP cannot find him there because in every other timeline kim dokja does not make it to the subway at all.

#I FEEL CRAZY LIKE. DID I READ A DIFFERENT BOOK OR SOMETHING??? AM I GETTING THE EVENTS WRONG???#LIKE. idk.#i feel like everyone knows that kim dokja is suicidal. and the only thing that kept kim dokja alive was WOS.#but then people fail to take that one step further to connect it with the fact that #in the other rounds where WOS isnt a thing...kim dokja succeeds in his second attempt. he does not make it to the subway.#like. not to get Very Personal in the tags but as someone who has Been suicidal it's an important character distinction to me #that This Is The Reason Why he's not there when SP checks the other rounds #ky speaks

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whumblr · 4 months

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Desperate

Tw: prepared for suicide

The door to their hiding place breached and Whumpee sprang up from a light sleep, scrambling through the darkened rooms of the abandoned house hoping to find somewhere to remain out of sight. Eyes darted about in a panic and they snatched the first available thing that resembled a weapon. A pair of scissors.

They slunk down in a far, dark corner of the room, scissors in hand. If they were spotted they could just-- they would have to--!

Fight? No. Weakened by days on the run, by hunger, by their injuries, they knew they didn't stand a chance.

They took a deep breath and opened the scissors, resting the blade against the side of their throat. They weren't going back. They weren't! They knew exactly what was waiting for them. And it was way worse than this.

Heavy footsteps echoed up through the stairwell, getting closer to the room.

Whumpee's gaze was determined, but their eyes were empty. As if they'd already taken that first step over the threshold and life merely clung to their body.

The door creaked open and beams of light entered the room, followed by two men, cautiously stepping around, whispering.

Whumpee slunk back into their corner, praying the flashlight would brush past them, that they would be one with darkness. They didn't make a sound, their breathing oddly calm, their eyes following the men around.

And one of them spotted them. They looked at each other for a second. And then he noticed the scissors against their throat.

"No, no, no, wait! Don’t! Don't!" the man shouted, waving his hands. He fell to his knees and held out a hand, as if they were a wild animal to be kept at bay. "Don't. Please," he said more calmly this time. "We're here to help."

A bit of life returned to their eyes. Hope mixed with a fair bit of suspicion, mingling in a blend of despair. They stared at the man, their hand trembling but tightening around the blade of the scissors. Blood trickled down over the palm of their hand but they barely felt it.

"Please," the man said again. His eyes widened, gaze following the drops of blood. He quickly glanced up again, looking Whumpee in the eyes, and shuffled a little closer, inch by inch, hand held out. "We're not here to hurt you."

Whumpee mewled, torn. The dull blade bit their skin. It hurt. It already hurt so bad. Fear held their hand back, not daring to press the blade deeper. Desperate hope filled their chest. Maybe... maybe they wouldn't have to do this?

"Please, your team is looking for you," the man said, nudging forward.

And Whumpee broke. Tears streamed down their face, dripping from their chin. Hope won. They shuffled over on their knees, dropped the scissors, and fell into the man’s arms. Hands wrapped around his neck, clawed in his shirt, and they sobbed against his shoulder.

"It’s okay," he shushed, brushing a hand over the back of their head. "It’s okay."

He waited patiently until the fingers clamped in his shirt relaxed, until the sobbing died down. Gently untangling himself from Whumpee's grip, he held them by the shoulders, nodded at them in question and held out a hand.

A trembling hand slid into his palm, accepting the offer, and he slowly pulled them up to their feet.

He smiled at them.

Then his hand was on their wrist and as they stood straight, he spun them around, forced their wrist halfway up their back. A metal click followed.

"Sucker," he chuckled.

The bright feeling of hope in their chest popped. It sank like lead into their stomach, transforming to an intense fear and Whumpee completely froze up.

The man caught them as their knees gave out. "Someone is willing to part with a lot of money to get you back. Alive."

General whump tag list: @firewheeesky @myfriendcallsmeasickwoman19 @whumpawink @painsandconfusion @whumpifi @auroragehenna

#whump #tw suicide mention #whump drabble #scared whumpee #angst #yoo I had a dream about this and it was wild #like wow brain that went dark...... hm let's write that down #failed escape #betrayal #recapture #my writing

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