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chopper-base · 7 months

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Plan 99

Day 5 of @tbb-appreciation-week (which yes, I know im very late to)

Summary: Tech finds himself alive but in the empires hands. Extremely injured and alone, he can only hope his brothers managed to escape as he fights to escape with the help of a brother long lost.

Warnings: mentions of torture and death, hurt/comfort, Crosshair needs a kriffin vacation.

Prompts: Crosshair, Whump, Hiding face in neck, "I'll keep you safe"

Chpt1 | Chpt2

Chapter 2

Crosshair awoke to a sharp ache, a pained groan slipping past his lips. He took a shaky breath, a migraine quickly forming. It was no surprise when he realized he couldn’t move, restraints tightly bound over his wrists and ankles. He knew it was only a matter of time before Hemlock or one of his assistants noticed he had regained consciousness. It was a hellish routine. Every second the sniper was awake, he was being probed and prodded, a rat for them to use however they pleased.

“Crosshair?” A small voice whispered his name and Crosshair hoped to the Maker he was hallucinating. “Crosshair, it’s Omega. Can you hear me?”

Maker, kriff it all…

He forced his eyes open a crack, looking out of the corners of his eyes to see two very young and tear filled eyes staring back at him. The young girl's hair was longer than he had last seen it, hanging down just above her shoulders. Small bruises littered her face and neck, a hint of blood staining the collar of her shirt. Crosshair couldn't stop the seething anger that came over him as his eyes scanned over every scrape and bruise on her skin.

He opened his mouth to speak, wincing at the pain it caused but he forced himself to look his little sister in the eye, "...Who did this to you?"

She forced a small smile onto her face, reaching up and setting her hand gently on his bicep. "I'm okay, Crosshair."

If he wasn't strapped to this damn table, Crosshair he was sure he was gonna murder whoever the unfortunate soul was that stepped into this room next. The sniper was never one for physical contact but he wanted nothing more than to hold the terrified child next to him. He looked around, surveying the room, noticing the two were strangely alone. "Where's the rest of the batch?" He asked, hating how his own voice scratched out of his throat.

Omega's face fell, tears beginning to collect in the corners of her eyes. "Hunter and Wrecker escaped but…" Her voice broke, the tears rolling down her bruised cheeks. "Tech… he…" the choked sob that escaped her lips was enough for the sniper to realize what she meant.

He desperately searched her face for some sort of lie. Tech couldn't be dead. They had survived so much. He couldn't…

"Omega." He said as calmly as he could muster. "What happened to Tech?"

She couldn't look him in the eye, holding his arm like a lifeline. "We got- we got your message. Tech convinced Hunter to… to look for you. He- we were stuck on a rail car and was just hanging. We tried to pull him up! But he- he shot the connector and- I'm sorry!" She sobbed, her grip on his arm tightening.

Plan 99… Tech had sacrificed himself to save his brothers. Crosshair squeezed his eyes shut, trying to keep the tears at bay. He looked back at Omega, choked sobs racking her small frame.

"Omega." He said softly. "Do you know if anyone is outside this room?"

Omega finally met his gaze, shaking her head. "I don't think so. They locked the door and left me in here. Nala Se convinced them to let me see you."

Crosshair glanced down at his restrained body before looking back up at the girl. "You think you could get these restraints off?"

Omega scanned over his body before nodding, freeing his head first before moving down. Her face scrunched in concentration as she fiddled with the controls for the metal cuffs restraining his arms and legs. A small smile worked its way onto her face as the cuffs snapped open, freeing the sniper completely.

He lifted his arms slowly, rubbing his sore wrists before slowly sitting up. Omega put a supporting hand on his back as he swung his legs over the side of the table. He knew they didn't have much time but he took a precious second to pull the child into an embrace which she gladly accepted. He pulled away, lowering himself to the floor, grabbing the table to keep himself from falling as his legs shook under his weight. Omega held onto his hip, helping steady him, her eyes locked on his. He looked around the room again, looking for anything he could use as a makeshift weapon, his eyes landing on a shelf stocked with different tools. He recognized every one as Hemlock had used everyone on him at some point during his unfortunate stay in this hell hole. He slowly made his way over the shelf, grabbing the electrocution rod, flipping it on and watched the electricity dance along the end before switching it back off. He turned to Omega who was watching him intently. "The next person to walk through that door is going to have a very bad day." That got the small smile to return to her face.

The sound of the lock disengaging had the sniper quickly crossing the room, standing against the wall next to the door. The door hissed opened, and two TK troopers stepped in, their gaze fixed on Omega. The first one dropped with a grunt, the other barely able to turn to see the sniper before he too lay in a heap on the floor. Crosshair quickly picked up one of their blasters, turning the stun off before handing it to Omega and grabbing the other, doing the same. "Stay behind me and shoot when I tell you too." He instructed, peeking out of the room to see an empty hallway. Omega remained glued to him, peeking out from beside him with a death grip on the blaster in her hands. It was almost cute to see such a small child holding a blaster but he was reminded of that dreadful day when the batch first fled Kamino. When that same child expertly shot his firepuncher out of his hands. He knew she had no blaster training and yet she made that perfect shot. He knew there was something special about this kid, he just didn't quite know what it was yet.

He made his way down the hall, making sure Omega never left his side, listening closely for any footsteps or alarms but the hall remained silent. Too silent for the snipers taste.

Finally, those dreadful footsteps began to echo down that damned hallway, forcing Crosshair to pull Omega into the closest door. He had snaked his arm behind her back, lifting her up enough to press the child against his chest as he slammed the door controls. The door hissed shut, both clones holding their breath as they heard thundering footsteps echoing down the hall. They were alone in the room, the lights dimmed as far as they could go leaving the two in near darkness. The blaster was still gripped tightly in Omega's small hand, her other hand made its way around his neck. She made no move to get Crosshair to put her down, holding tightly to the sniper. The footsteps faded letting them both finally breathe. Omega turned slightly, her face burying into the side of his neck.

He could feel her begin to shake, her other arm wrapping around the other side of his neck. He lowered them both down, his knees landing on the cool metal floor. Her feet were still barely touching the ground as he held her tightly, unable to bring himself to let her go. "It's ok, ad'ika." He whispered into her ear. "I'll keep you safe. I promise."

She pulled back, her feet finally flat on the floor. Her gaze met his, tears brimming her brown eyes. A small smile decorated her face as she looked at her brother.

Crosshair forced himself to return the small gesture, trying to keep the child as calm as he could. He finally broke his gaze away, looking closer at the room they had taken refuge in. The room was basically empty. All that stood in there was a small control station and what looked to be three bacta tanks. Crosshair's breath caught in his throat as his gaze met the face of the man suspended in the first tank. Omega turned, searching for what the sniper had noticed and it was clear the moment she did.

"...Tech?"

Tag list!! (Let me know if you'd like to be added!!)

@rain-on-kamino @idoubleswearimawriter @staycalmandhugaclone @nobody-expects-the-inquisitorius @kalykat

#tbbaw2023 #crosshair #tbb crosshair #crosshair tbb #day 5 #fan fic #tbb fanfic #mentions of death #mentions of torture #past trauma #whump #hiding face in neck #i'll keep you safe #omega tbb #tech tbb #tbb tech #tbb omega #hemlock mentioned

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uncanny-tranny · 1 year

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Death to the idea that people who face a traumatic situation must become empty husks of a person between the event that traumatized them and when they are ~magically~ healed. It's genuinely fucked up.

Often, people who are traumatized will interact with the world just like a "normal" person would. They might even joke about their trauma, laugh about it, even "make light" of it.

When I was a very young child, I'd been traumatized, and I was put into play therapy. From what I remember, though, I'd be a very normal child until something seemingly small triggered me, and it was like my world fell apart. And I'd cope with that in ungodly ways that to a normal person would be insane - unthinkable, perhaps. And then... I'd go back to playing, because the world continues on.

That is what many people (though not all, trauma responses are not a monolith) who face trauma will do. We're still "normal people." The world goes on even after ours stops in orbit, slows, or has a metor crash into it. The reason why it's so harmful to say that traumatized people have to "act the part" is because many of us don't, and simply, most of us can't (even if we need to).

#mental health #mental health advocacy #trauma #trauma tw #abuse #abuse mention tw #this shit genuinely infuriates me #and i feel my point is more... salient or whatever if i include 'proof' which is my own experience. but i don't really wanna #but i saw this person publicize their suspicions that their *friend* didn't face a horrific event because they were ~jovial~ about it #because they joked too much and their attitude was too ~happy-go-lucky~. who would fucking do that to a friend.#but that's how so many people interact with people who made it through trauma #and it's genuinely harmful. it's going to lead to so much misery in people who are already dealing with the aftermath of trauma whatever...#...it may be - big or small it doesn't matter #sorry for the erratic nature of my posts... stream of consciousness and all

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corfisers · 5 months

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i really need to finish this one day

#one of my fave ideas but i keep getting stuck or starting over. third time's the charm hopefully #anyways. posting it as an excuse to rant because i'm losing my mind over this rn for no reason #incoherent but i just need to Talk or my brain won't shut up #you ever think about how fucked up it is that aoi feels guilty over what happened. i do. i think about her a lot #he can't even look at me. we aren't even blood related but he still had to go to jail because of me. i still love him #in reality none of it is her fault. it shouldn't be about doumeki in the first place. baby girl you were 15 when it happened.#you can say that yashiro is cruel in his dismissiveness (on the surface) of doumeki's trauma but you can see where he's coming from #you got a glimpse of what your sister was going through? of what i went through? and now you're sooo guilty over it? and who does it help?#doumeki's so focused on his own feelings that he ignored aoi when they were living together. “saves” her by pure chance #proceeds to focus on his guilt and ignore her again. if yashiro didn't get involved she'd be sitting in the rain for god knows how long #yet she still loves and to some degree idolizes him #yashiro and aoi both saying that doumeki isn't the type of person to be a yakuza too. doumeki's good doumeki's better than that #and then ch 24 happens. where yashiro says that he's going to throw up and doumeki's response is “i probably won't stop even if you do”#“guess i am like my father after all” and yashiro still goes “you're not. you're pure and im the problem”#(touches doumeki's face. rare gentle gesture. he's gentle afterwards too before leaving. man.)#he's not cruel enough to repeat what he said in the earlier conversation and he doesn't actually believe it anyway #but i wish yashiro was cruel there. it shouldn't have been about doumeki and his feelings. again.#something about yashiro throwing a knife at another person and it flying back at him huh #for all the talk about how doumeki supposedly romanticizes yashiro it really is the other way around. always has been #which is a whole other conversation but yeah. everything about aoi and yashiro in relation to doumeki makes me so fucking sad #but this is also what i mean when i say that aoi doesn't haunt the narrative per se but still has this weird presence?#she's in the parallels. she's in the brief but important mentions. she's in the “your sister was lucky she had you”.#wips tag

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nurllius · 1 year

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"Killing and corrupting, it's what you were born to do."

#I WAS ABSOLUTELY BLOWN AWAY #THE ANGST IN THIS CHAPTER #IM HERE FOR IT #You know me and angst #we go hand in hand #and of course couldn't help myself with some symbolism #I got so excited over the last instance #Finally facing all that trauma the commander has pilled up!#They better keep it up cuz all this trauma the commander has that hasn't been mentioned or confronted at all should be #gw2 #guildwars2 #gw2 eod #gw2 art #end of dragons

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disabledunitypunk · 3 months

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If a community disability term, such as neurodivergence, contains diagnoses that in your experience are too different to be related, you can opt out of the term, but you do not get to disagree that the term still includes both for other people with those diagnoses.

I don't actually care what the coiner's intentions with a word were that much, beyond, "if even one person finds a wider or more inclusive definition meaningful, the definition expands to encompass their usage of it".

That's descriptivism, the idea that words only exist to be useful to us and that we shape their meaning to that end. It is the counterpart to prescriptivism, the idea that words have concrete, strict, static definitions and that we have to use the right words as accurately as possible and can't use words if they fit badly enough.

"Words have meanings" is a prescriptivist take, but so is "I don't feel neurodivergence includes xyz".

I mean this in a way less aggressive than it sounds, but quite simply, neurodivergence doesn't revolve around your experience of it.

I also find it symptomatic of the extreme cartesian dualist bias most people haven't actually examined that "physical disability" can include everything from neurogenic pain to irritable bowel disease to limb deformities to cardiac issues to asthma to paralysis to visual impairment and more, but neurodivergence and neurodisabilities are often limited to, if not the more palatable and less disordered forms, even just things that are primarily cognitive or emotional in nature.

To explain, cartesian dualism is the idea that there is a separate, nonphysical "mind" from the physical neurological structure of your brain and body - and that therefore essentially mental illness and neurodivergence are sicknesses and differences of an abstract consciousness that is little more than a different word for the idea of a "soul".

It's very disturbing to me that people think that, because we don't fully understand how bioelectrical and chemical processes or neurophysical structure inform the phenotypical presentation of disorders and neurodivergence with an array of cognitive-emotional symptoms, that we can simply just say "eh, it's not physical in the same way physical neurological symptoms are.

Okay, that's a mouthful, but basically, our entire consciousness - emotions, thoughts, the places in our physical bodies we feel our emotions (and store trauma), the physical symptoms of our mental illnesses, and so forth - they all are caused by one of essentially three categories of things.

Either the electrical signals passing between neurons in a certain order and direction, hormones and enzymes and proteins being chemically processed by receptors in brain and other bodily cells (which, it's important to note, mental illness and neurodivergence exist as a conversation between brain cells and other bodily cells), or the actual physical shape of the brain.

From what little we do understand, we know that electrical activity, chemical activity, and physical differences in the brain are responsible in some way for the psychological phenomena we study. We mostly just don't understand exactly HOW.

The similarities between primarily physical neurological conditions and primarily mental neurological conditions is that they are both a result of what is occurring in the neurological system (and to a lesser extent, in where the neurological system interfaces and communicates with other systems).

Migraines, nerve pain, epilepsy, bell's palsy, Parkinson's, tremors, stroke, lateral sclerosis - these are very different from things like bipolar, anxiety, OCD, NPD, AvPD, SzPD, PTSD, DID, autism, schizophrenia, ID, and so on, for many people.

It's why you can opt out of labels like neurodivergence for conditions you don't feel it fits.

But, crucially, you don't get to make that decision and universally define the word for others. The most inclusive definition of the word prevails, because there are people who do find that their experiences with things in each of those category are similar, or so closely related they can't be separated, or simply worth grouping together for the fact they occur in the same bodily system via the same or similar mechanisms.

For me, my chronic pain, my gut health issues, my MCAS, my autism, my anxiety, my PTSD, my DID, my chronic fatigue, my brain fog, my schizophrenia, my ADHD, my tremor, my dysautonomia, my balance issues and struggles with spacial awareness and lack of awareness of my physical body, the alexithymia that I've worked so hard to manage, my language and sensory processing disorders... it's all closely and heavily interrelated.

Some of it causes or worsens other parts (or in some cases is minimally suspected to, but I'm mainly focusing on the ones that inarguably directly cause the others here). My anxiety and PTSD trigger my gut issues. Inflammation from my MCAS triggers my chronic pain and brain fog and POTS and makes my anxiety, depression, and DID worse. My dyspraxia and sensory processing are worse when I'm brain foggy or in pain. Getting excited about special interests can make my tremor worse than anxiety can. This is kind of a weird one, but self-injury from BPD has caused nerve damage. Autism and ADHD cause a large portion of my chronic fatigue.

That's without even getting into where the symptom sets overlap.

Anxiety comes with tachycardia, shortness of breath, feelings of dread/doom, stomach upset, tremors, dysregulation of my sense of temperature, flushing, and more.

POTS comes with... tachycardia, shortness of breath, stomach upset, tremors, dysregulation of my sense of temperature, flushing, and more. And MCAS covers the "feelings of dread/doom", so when they are flaring up together...

Chronic pain is a symptom of depression and PTSD as well as fibromyalgia and nerve damage. Chronic fatigue is a symptom of just about every disability that exists.

Food sensitivities are as likely to be from neurodivergence as from eating disorders (which can be considered neurodivergent) as from GI issues. I see an allergist for my condition which is caused by dysregulation of gastrointestinal cells, which is suspected to potentially be related to trauma, which is also suspected as having a relationship with the dysautonomia present in my POTS, trauma for me which is as much a result of my neurodivergence and the casual ignorant and often nonmalicious ableism ingrained into every facet of society I faced as the abuse I went through. (And some of the abuse was a result of my disabilities, both primarily physical and primarily mental!)

There is no separating it for me. They are not different enough to deny myself a label that acknowledges that and never will be. Neurodivergence and neurodisability (a term I coined) as well are as much for people like me as people who have fully discrete separate symptoms.

I even find the separation of disabilities into "physical" and "psychological" to be a bit of a misdirection. Psychological disabilities are physical. They manifest through physical symptoms. Even emotional symptoms are experienced by the body on a physical level, though a lot of us neurodivergent folks struggle with awareness of that (I know I did and often still do).

Anxiety is often a rapid heart rate and sweating and shortness of breath. Depression is pain and appetite suppression and often low blood pressure. Sadness can be chest pain and throat tightness. Excitement often has near identical physical manifestations as anxiety. Happiness is usually felt throughout the whole body. Sensations of different temperatures, breathing, pulse, and gut functions are most primarily associated with emotion.

"Trust your gut" even means "trust your intuition", meaning your subconscious mental sense of safety vs danger, for this reason.

"My heart plummeted."

"My heart was in my throat."

"My stomach was roiling with nerves."

"I felt a cold sweat on my neck."

"I knew in my gut I could trust her."

These are how people describe emotions.

Even where the symptoms are either not identifiably physical or not experienced as physical in the consciousness (such as thought patterns), they are caused by physical processes in an actual physical organ. Their cause is the same at a fundamental level as a primarily physical symptom such as pain - while they may occur in different locations in the neurological system, or may be triggered by different sets of chemicals, at a basic level they are both physically occurring in the same bodily system.

Even separating out the brain as an organ from the rest of the body has actively limited scientific progress. It's only as modern science has actually been analyzing it in concert with the other bodily systems that it is responsible for both controlling and processing feedback from that large advancements in our understanding of neurology have been made.

The organ responsible for telling every other organ what to do and understanding what happens in every other organ cannot be compartmentalized and analyzed on its own. At least, not if we want any actual useful data.

I often wonder, for people who do have discrete symptom sets, is there a reason other than simply "it doesn't make sense to group it with my other neurodivergence" for saying they "disagree" with the definitions of neurodivergence and neurodisability that they are allowed not to use for themselves?

Is it possibly that neuroableism is so rampant in our society and even in disabled spaces that they simply haven't examined their own internalized biases and bigotry and they don't take neurodisabilities, including their own, as seriously as disabilities they consider more physical?

Is the idea that they have been as physical as their other disabilities all along scary or threatening because it means that in shoving them off into the realm of "mental" disability they've been pushing themselves past their limits to "overcome" something that is just as painful, just as harmful, and just as concretely, profoundly disabling as their other disabilities? That they were just as unable to do the things their disability prevented them from doing and hurting themselves just as much by trying to and then blaming themselves on top of it for the ways they "fell short" due to said disability?

This is not meant as an attack. I sometimes have the people who say this stuff unintentionally stumble on trauma triggers, but I don't dislike them. I wish I was more capable of having these conversations without really essentially running and hiding. I try to use this blog for that because I'm able to ignore it more easily than my main blog when I'm in a heightened state, and because it's more of a controlled environment where these conversations are intended to take place.

These are questions I'm asking specifically from analyzing past attitudes of mine. I didn't necessarily share them publicly, but there was a time where I felt similarly. I'm not asking out of some concern-trolling, either. I acknowledge that what I talked about is only one possible explanation for that belief, and if that is the case, I'd simply encourage the people for whom it's true to be patient with themselves and let themselves be disabled, whatever that means for them.

I don't even think it's necessarily a super harmful belief, although I think it crosses a line when the belief goes from "that's not how I use neurodivergent for myself" to "I don't think it's useful for neurodivergence to be defined that way in general". I think it's one we should all interrogate, sure. Providing a possible explanation is my way of trying to open up a conversation about that. Eliminating a possibility as wrong still gets us closer to a more accurate understanding, even at an individual level.

I think put quite simply though, if that is the case, I don't feel condescending and patronizing pity. I'm angry on all of our behalf that we live in a society that so deeply ingrains those ideas into us in order to uphold the oppression of all disabled people, and especially to sow disunity between us to disrupt our efforts at organization and liberation. I'm angry that we've been taught to hurt ourselves in this way. I'm furious that we've been convinced that this is the right way of understanding and dealing with disability.

So, to loop back around and neatly tie this post off with my original point: I would like to motivate people to examine WHY they label certain diagnoses as neurodivergent/neurodisabilities and others as not. I would encourage them to remember that an umbrella label including diagnoses of theirs that they don't want to use that label for doesn't make the definition wrong. I'd remind them that they are absolutely welcome to use a more restrictive definition individually without challenging the general definition, because words can mean multiple things.

And I'd say that the most important thing is just to remember when discussing this is that other people may consider a shared diagnosis to be neurodivergent where you don't, and that "disagreeing" with them is fundamentally "disagreeing" with their identity and how they experience it, which however well-intentioned is still bigotry. It doesn't make you a bad person, but it is a harmful action and the right thing to do is whatever needs to be done to not continue to harm others. Whether it's as simple as just stopping or as complex as analyzing the entire lens through which you view neurodivergence, the important thing is respecting that neurodivergent identity means different things for different people.

And after all, at least in English, 95 percent of the 3000 most frequently used words have multiple meanings, as do 100 percent of the top 1000 most used words. Words like go and set have upwards of 300-400 definitions! Rather than treating definitions like a math problem, right or wrong, let's treat them as interpretive, and facilitate communication by asking people which they mean.

#prescriptivism #descriptivism #mod stars #unitypunk #neurodivergence #neurodisability #disability #physical disability #neurology #neuropsychology #cartesian dualism #cw brief self harm mention #ableism #neuroableism #trauma #adding this in the tags: a good example is how lqbtqia+ people can opt out the reclaimed label queer #whether your identity is always considered valid as a queer identity or faces bigotry at every turn you can choose to demand inclusion #no matter whether or not you use the label queer #that's important

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bijoumikhawal · 5 months

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got reminded of the "saying Arabs conquered and colonized North Africa is Zionist because obviously no one saying that coulx possibly draw a distinction between North African Arabs and Palestinian Arabs, and even drawing a distinction between Arabs and Imazighen is colonizer shit" school of thought

#cipher talk #I have seem Zionists co-opt the language of MENA Indigenous groups but MF that doesn't mean we're WRONG #It means they're stealing our talking points to appeal to more left leaning people #How is it you can recognize that they've co-opted the language of social justice and that that doesn't mean social justice is bad #Until the people YOU dispossess are mentioned and suddenly you're doing step 8 of the 8 steps of white settler colonial denial #Just like the Israelis do!#And yeah like. Some people don't draw the distinction. That's a product of intergenerational trauma and how our communities #Get manipulated by the US and shit. I've also met Arabs not from North Africa that refuse to draw a distinction #And see a discussion of how Arabs have hurt Indigenous Africans as an attack on them when it doesn't make sense to do so #I've also met a lot of people who DO clearly draw a distinction because the material conditions of Palestinians are that of Indigenity #Are your material conditions as a postcolonial North African with an Arab name and a mosque and skin that isn't black that of Indigenity?#Do you not have people with your face in the government (regardless of how shifty it is)? Did someone take your land or your churches land?#Do you struggle with employment? Is your tongue not the most common one? Are your cultural clothes looked at with distaste?#Are your girls targeted for kidnapping and rape to force them to not be of your culture? Are your women called whores who WANT rape?#Are you harassed by cops? Does the government try to take your kids because they have bullshit adoption laws?#Do your kids get arrested at 12 or 13 and almost sent a thousand miles away from home before pressure stays the order?#Is your language called feudal? Do people tell you they hope it dies soon? Is your name a barrier in your life?#Did they drown your fucking village?#Because all of these are things Copts and Nubians can say yes to #Before I even start on the shit done in the Maghreb or the fuckery about how Egypt defines 'Amazigh territory' (which is very complicated)

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mikoran · 1 year

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sometimes ill see a st3ddie post about their hypothetical struggle of being queer in the 80s and ficlets about the homophobia they deal with. and the rational, logical side of me thinks that its fandom and everyone is allowed to do what they want and finding comfort in characters experiencing your experiences can be very helpful to people. but the other side of me is yelling WILL BYERS IS RIGHT FUCKING THERE

#like theres nothing wrong with shipping it and portraying those things with them #but something about choosing the only slightly implied queer character and the very much straight one to use as an outlet just #reallyyyy rubs me the wrong way when a character in the show already canonically faces that shit #not to mention the fact that steddies popularity mostly comes from the ability to sexualize them which is a whole other can of worms #and said people doing the sexualization is often cishet women #and then they pull out other cards like oh actually lets focus on steves trauma guys and the tragedy that is eddie #and theres no harm in that either ofc character analysis is great i live for it #but we all know its not actually about their depths as characters #its about being attractive white men #contrary to what this post might tell you about me i dont mind steddie its like fine ig #and i like steve and eddie but god their stans annoy me sometimes #anti steddie #but back to will #hes had to face so much. hes had deal with people calling him slurs his whole life. hes in love with his (supposedly) straight best friend #hes got queer depression written all over him #and yet hes somehow not the top choice for crying over those things about #instead its two characters with like. a singular one on one interaction #again #no problem with shipping them etc etc #but seriously?? why are we focusing on them as opposed to the canonically queer much deeper romance playing out right before our eyes #with mounds of trauma and angst on the side #cough cough fetishization #ill shut up now sorry #will byers #byler

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the-martyrfication-of-the-matron · 1 year

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I stand by the fact that tua s1 was made for the viewers and everything past that was made for the money.

#how did they go from a dark little ‘siblings with mutual trauma find it hard to bond because of the trauma and coping mechanisms they don’t #share’ to ‘we are going to get rid of a character’s entire coping mechanism off screen because fuck you that’s why. you were invested in #this character and his improvement as he realises he has to face his trauma if he wants to be happy #too bad he gets that development off screen.’#to ‘Yea no this character has never had any desire to do a certain thing and it’s a storyline that would better fit another character but #we want an Amish joke so he’s going on this little adventure. oh also you know one of the coolest villain sets we have in the show? gone for #our own convenience to try to explain why they wouldn’t be trying to fix the kugelblitz themselves’#not to mention that s3 had an opportunity to really deep dive on how the Brellie’s were shaped by their trauma and that if they were raised #by loving parents they would be so much better off. so it begs the question of ‘would they rather grow up happy or with eachother?’#but nah. funky dance scene to footloose instead #tua #the umbrella academy

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cienie-isengardu · 9 months

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Fett all but disappeared from bounty hunting circles as he took time to raise his son. He sought to experience what his life might have been like had he been raised by a caring guardian. Still, if the credits were right or the challenge appealed to him, he would don his battle armor periodically and venture from his hiding place.

#star wars #jango fett #star wars databank (archive)#boba fett #He sought to experience what his life might have been like had he been raised by a caring guardian #WHAT A SLAP TO JASTER MEREEL'S FACE LOL #joking (partially :P) as it seems to follow AotC novel's version of jango's backstory what did not mention true mandos as far as i remember #anyway i love collecting data about jango's trauma #there is so much to talk about #poor man

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maw-and-pawp · 14 days

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I've been having some hurt/comfort thoughts for awhile now. I might make some ocs around this. SFW, platonic (queerplatonic?), victim blaming, blood mention, background murder, found family, angst and fluff, vore-adjacent.

A pred and a prey duo, in an unlikely friendship. The pred is smaller than the prey, and is somehow vegetarian, but is definitely still intimidating to the prey due to their long claws and sharp teeth and stoic face. They're aware that they come off as threatening to others, and do their best to be kind with their actions, and hide their claws in thick gloves. Besides, if no one knows exactly what they're capable of with those claws, then the chances of being traced back to their "nightshift" are low.

The prey is a survivor of an almost fatal digestion, and they would've been just another victim if their pred hadn't saved them and brought them to a hospital in time. Since then, the prey has both developed trauma from the encounter, and a fragile bond with the pred. The pred insisted to give them their number, afterall. To call just in case they needed help again. For anything.

They started talking, and one thing led to another, and now it's a common occurrence to find the pred in the prey's apartment, taking care of stuff the prey can't always manage on their own now. Making sure the prey doesn't forget to care for themself, helping them run down to the laundromat, cooking for the both of them when the prey can't get out of bed. The pred has been helping them when their family is either too far away to, or blames the prey for what happened (you wouldn't have been taken if you hadn't been alone that night, we raised you better than to go to a mixed bar, let alone by yourself). Because of that, they keep the pred's night time habits to themself, and pointedly do not ask about the faint smell of blood whenever the pred shows up in the mornings. They don't want to know (and they'd like to keep plausible deniability, thank you).

The prey's been going to a support group for others like them. People who were lucky. Someone suggested something like exposure therapy once, mostly as a joke (which wasn't well received). Which...honestly at this point, the prey is tired of being a live wire after what happened, and they would do just about anything to just Go Back To Normal now. So the idea stuck. All they had to do is work up the courage. The prey doesn’t fully trust the pred afterall. They can't after what happened, and what they know the pred is doing to other preds. It's not illegal, technically, if sufficient evidence is found that it truly was in spontaneous aid to a caught prey. But it's not spontaneous. And the pred isn't going to court.

But the pred did say that it was ok to ask for help, even for the 'small' things. Not once have they made them feel like they were anything other than a person...a dear friend. Right. A dear friend. It would be fine.

So they ask to listen to the pred's stomach one weekend. The pred is flustered, confused, stoic face twisted up into a look something like they just got slapped in the face with a fish. Which would be funny, if the prey's heart wasn't trying to run out of their chest from nerves. They quietly explain what they mean to the pred, and the pred's eyes soften in understanding, face unscrunching into something once again unreadable.

The pred is...awkward. If the prey wasn't wholly consumed with their own worries, they would've picked up on the pred's rigid stance as fears of their own...They can't remember the last time someone had touched without the intention to hurt, or to take. And they need to be calm, or their big prey friend will be on edge and that would defeat the point. And their friend deserves to feel safe. Heaven help anyone who takes that away.

They set up in the living room. A cushiony chair is pulled up - a small couch really - and they somehow maneuver the pred to sit in it and the prey to kneel without saying a word. Lots of awkward shuffling, and a pillow for the prey's knees later, and the prey is nosing into the pred's stomach gently.

It's tense underneath their face, and the prey can hear the pred's breath hitch when they first make contact. Slowly, the pred relaxes into the touch, when pain doesn't come. The pred still grips the seat like a lifeline. (It's dizzying, to be so vulnerable, and to do it on purpose)

Then, the prey takes a breath, and presses their ear to the rumbling gut beneath them (it was just before lunch, like they planned). It whined and begged and burbled, warm and hungry. It sends a cold jolt of fear through them, making them freeze. It sounds so loud, so needy, just like it was when it was all around them that night when the acids started flowing in -

Tears are wiped away before they even know it exists. The pred strokes a finger gently through the fur between their eyes, hesitant but firm. They hush the prey, remind them that it's safe. They can stop if they need to. They don't even have to do this at all. They sound close to tears themself. The prey looks up into their face.

The gaze is piercing as it always is. But not unkind. They really would stop if the prey gave the word. They'd get up and get on with their days, and the prey wouldn't be just a meal stewing away inside their pred friend. The pred is more hungry for the tofu in the fridge than them, and their pred is a full head shorter anyways. Even if they wanted to, their pred couldn't take them past the point of no return.

(They wonder what it's like to be so short. Preds were usually a head taller than the prey or more. Perhaps their pred isn't a vegetarian by choice at all - they can't catch anyone being so small. They might also not be quick and strong and lethal by choice either...it must be easy to confuse the pred for a prey, or it might not functionally matter to some)

Armed with this knowledge, the prey nuzzles back in without a word. Their pred's breath hitches again, and comes out shaky when the prey snakes a hand upwards to run their thumb gently over their clothed lower belly. The same comforting little circles that their pred had been rubbing between their eyes a moment ago. They tense along with the motion, and the prey goes rigid again as the wet glorps roar again under their sensitive ears, announcing to the world just how much their pred's tummy was enjoying the attention (even if it would prefer attention from the inside at the moment). The prey counts the pred's climbing heartbeat, and stubbornly holds on even as they (both) shake in restrained fear. As the hour passes, they've never felt so safe and yet so afraid.

They decide that it's been a productive day, schedule another encounter next weekend, and break for lunch. No, the prey did not eat the last of the tofu, thank you very much. They much prefer the beansprouts anyways.

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snowe-zolynn-rogers · 1 year

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In a way, I kind of hope good Eclipse and canon Eclipse meet, just so good Eclipse can go ‘oh so this is the bitch that hurt my adopted baby brother’ and just hit canon Eclipse in the face with a wrench.

#five nights at freddy's #fnaf #sun and moon show #sams #fnaf eclipse #fnaf good eclipse #fnaf sirius #tw cursing #tw violence mention #sun and moon show spoilers #just yeets a wrench at him and hits him in the face #*metallic thunk* OW #that’s for my new baby brother!#he just throws another wrench at his face #*another metallic thunk* FUCKING OW #and that’s for bringing trauma reactions upon my name!

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chaoscorpio · 5 months

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A quick lil thing about scopophobia, schizophrenia, and trauma. I want to remake this once I know how to make proper comics. Pls don't use or repost [reblogs are okay tho]

#ask to tag #totally didn't trace my own face for the 1st one lol #/sarcasm #staring #eye contact #scopophobia #abuse #abuse mention #trauma #trauma mention #mental health #schizophrenia #unreality #vent art #vent comic #comic #short comic

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brokenfoxproductions · 8 months

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I took a bunch of photos yesterday where I looked fine as hell but I really don't know if I want to post them or not just because having my face attached to the stuff I talk about on my YouTube could possibly be a security hazard.

Like, I really want to be able to share nice photos I take of myself that make me feel confident, but I still think that the threats my former trafficker made about suing me or otherwise retaliating against me would be a little bit easier for her to realize if she saw my face online, because unfortunately I have a few distinct characteristics that haven't changed since then, even though I grew up, gained weight, and transitioned.

I just want to be a hot boi on main and I'm not even allowed to do that without being nervous that's something as simple as my eye color would make it easier to harass me in person.

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ninjastormhawkkat · 11 months

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Ignorant Bliss AU

This au I made on Discord combining my friend melody's highschool au idea with an amnesia au. Revised a little bit to make it more angsty. So in this au Amirana as a teen has quickly wisened up and she hates the traditions and life she is forced into by her family who has no regards for her feelings. Also Navren is still a jerk in this au. She wants to get away from it all and go on a journey of exploration and hopefully find a planet that will let her just be herself. She stole a Lexiconian space craft and began her excursion. She unfortunately got caught in a solar storm that sent her ship plummeting to Earth where she crash landed. Unlike Huggy's crash, this was more severe as her ship was destroyed. Amirana climbed out, still alive but heavily injured she walked slowly towards Fair City where she fell unconscious onto a sidewalk. She was found by worried and concerned Bampy Botsford and his son Tim. They took her to a hospital. When Amirana woke up, she had no memory of her life befor the crash. She didn't even remember what caused her injuries. She didn't recall her name nor her own species. She was taken care of at the hospital and made a full physical recovery. Thought the issue was since she was a minor and had no family to claim her yet. She would have to be sent to an orphanage or foster family. Bampy not wanting the poor kid to be alone, talked with his wife and kids about the situation. Thus Teresa Botsford was with her new family and lived the normal life of an earth woman. She went to high school and college in Fair City. She discovered her powers but out of fear did not tell her family because she was afraid of being cast aside for being not normal. She believes she is a meta human. Bampy finds out during the episode "Bampy Battles Bots." Teresa takes a job as a teacher in Fair City at Woodview. Like in my theory, she meets Steven Boxleitner when she saved the distracted scientist from nearly getting hit by a truck. Teresa does become a hero in this au after hearing about Steven's theories and analysis about heroes and villains. Her hero name is Wordwoman because of her love of words. Steven knows about Teresa's powers because she asked for his help in using them and controlling them. Steven respected her decision not to tell her family, he still believes she should tell them and that they will still love her regardless. The Botsfords love Steven. Teresa was a bridesmaid at her siblings wedding and Tim and Sally were part of her wedding party when she married Steven. In this au Teresa does become pregnant with Becky before she and Steven marry but Becky is born after the wedding during the early part of Teresa's first trimester. Becky becomes Wordgirl and her mom's partner when she gets older. I haven't decided yet where Steven still becomes Two Brains or not but if he does, it's only minor angst. Teresa during her life has vague flashbacks of her former life but nothing sustains long enough for her to fully recall anything. Her past starts to come back when a certain monkey space pilot crashes to Earth when her daughter is 11 years old. @melodythebunny @drtwobrainsstuff @blueweirdness

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