A Clandestine Christmas: Clandestine F*cks [Avenger! Loki x Fem.Reader]
Part of the Clandestine F*cks Collection
Part of the Winter Warmers Collection
A link to my Masterlist is HERE
Summary: Off the back of a stunning festive revelation, Loki shows you a hidden room in Stark Tower.
Warnings: 18+ Minors DNI. Smut. Language. Patchy historical references. Humour. (w/c 2.9k)
It was mid-December. The communal quarters of Stark Tower were being adorned furiously in winding wreaths of pine, gold ornaments flashing in the afternoon sun through the panoramic windows.
You stood back from the tree in the corner, fluffing a branch absent-mindedly. You could hear the low conversation of the Asgardian brothers behind you, enjoying the rare hum of interaction untinged by sarcasm or pointed barbs.
“...Stark said the belt he shall be fashioning for my Yuletide gift will be the perfect thing to contain my unrestrained godly manhood. A contingency if you decide once again to withdraw the phallus enchantment at a time which is of life or death importance.”
You heard Loki scoff, as Thor continued. “You know... if it is necessary for critical missions. First dates and suchlike.”
Your lover made a sharp intake of breath, a scathing and very un-festive comment sure to follow.
"Like a ladies sport brassiere, but for your ridiculous penis?" Loki goaded. You rolled your eyes, fluffing the branch a final time before turning to prevent the exchange escalating further.
“-Guys, Morgan’s coming over later, so no talk about Santa being fake or anything alright?”
Your intended audience remained silent. The brothers were perched at the breakfast bar; Thor enjoying a well earned break from helping assemble the decor ahead of tonight’s party. Your boyfriend, not so much.
They were both dressed snugly in hand knitted jumpers, a gift from Scott's grandmother to the whole team.
Thor’s was bright red, two candy-canes woven in a haphazard ‘T’. It was far too small for him, the weave stretching dangerously with every movement of his broad shoulders. It won’t last the night, you thought with a smile.
Loki’s was a rich green, a sprig of holly resting on the tip of a white ‘L’ emblazoned garishly on his chest. It fit perfectly, because of course it did.
The blonde’s face turned pale, his eyes widening. You noted his sudden panicked gaze shifting towards his brother, flicking through a magazine and munching carrot sticks. He showed no signs of interest.
“Santa?” Thor mumbled, brushing invisible crumbs from the counter-top. You mean, Santa...Claus? ‘Sinterklaas’? ‘Der Weihnachtsmann’? ‘Père Noël’? ‘Noel...Baba’?”
An awkward silence followed; your eyes narrowing as you regarded them with increasing suspicion.
“That nonsense is still circulating this realm? How quaint.” Loki smirked, flipping the magazine closed and folding his arms on the counter. Thor grimaced, closing his eyes.
“What do you mean?” you said, tilting your head. Loki's smile broadened, leaning forward on the counter-top, his beautiful eyes glinting.
“My brother doesn’t like me talking about it. Top secret Asgardian business, you see.” He winked, tapping his nose.
Thor huffed, encircling a strand of bushy tinsel round his neck. “Well if you insist on being so forceful, Loki…” he said, resting his hands on his meaty hips. “Loki is at fault for this realm’s obsession with this ‘Santa Claus’. There, I said it.”
“I invented him.” Loki said proudly, picking up another carrot stick.
“You most certainly did not brother, he was invented by father and myself to prevent mass rioting within the realm at your hands.”
The dark-god grimaced, rolling his eyes. “So dramatic, brother. It was just a bit of fun.”
Thor toyed with the tinsel around his neck while Loki crunched the carrot elegantly poised between his thumb and forefinger. Seconds passed in silence.
“So...is no one going to tell me what actually happened?” you said slowly, sliding on the barstool opposite the brothers.
Thor opened his mouth, silenced by a sharp ba-ba-ba from his brother.
“I think not. You will taint the glorious details of the original story with your bias.” Loki said between gritted teeth, turning back toward you with a renewed spark.
“Bias...” Thor scoffed, throwing an end of tinsel over his shoulder like a scarf. Loki cleared his throat. “A while ago, my brother and I were spending some regrettable time on Midgard-”
“-Father was tired of your childish antics, Loki. It was a time-out.”
“Hush.” Loki sniped, rolling his eyes. "We were marooned in the old countries and I was feeling rather affronted by the whole situation and may have spun some yarns to a few curious children who passed our way in a moment of uncharacteristic bitterness.”
“How long ago are we talking?” you said warily, as Loki’s smile grew. “About a fifteen hundred years, give or take.” he said coyly.
Thor grimaced at the memory. “Loki told a group of naïve village youngsters that in several weeks hence, during the lowest point of winter; gifts would appear if they left their fathers boots outside their dwelling. A ridiculous notion.”
“It was just a bit of fun.” your lover repeated innocently. “There was nothing else to do, and those little shits were asking for it. They made fun of my helmet.”
“You intended to thieve the boots of those villagers, brother. Do not deny it.” Thor grunted, throwing you a knowing look.
Loki huffed. “Well, regardless...by the time Thor found out, the rumour had spread so that every child within a hundred miles seemed to know about this miraculous benefaction and so action had to be taken... apparently.”
“Father was furious, thanks to that brown-nose Heimdall.” Thor grimaced, the memory clearly etched deep. “He summoned us back to Asgard immediately-”
“-and I was, naturally, delighted. It meant no more dreary, mirthless winter dearth on this sub-par terra.” Loki busied himself with a loose strand on the sleeve of his jumper, before looking up doe-eyed. “No offence, darling.”
“A lot has changed in a thousand years.” you quipped, seeing another smirk tug at his lips as you said it.
“If you say so, my love.” he murmured, sarcasm hanging in the air like the scent of cinnamon as he snapped the rogue thread and made it vanish.
Thor leant forward, his voice deepening as if recalling a battle tale. “Father demanded that Loki and I fulfil the oath we made to the children of the old country-”
“It was no oath.” Loki snapped, jawline flashing in the glow of the twinkling lights surrounding you all.
Thor chuckled incredulously, his eyes widening in disbelief at his brother’s selective memory. “Did you not swear to them by the Nine that it was true?” he said, raising his eyebrows.
Loki folded his arms. “Potentially. But it was just a bit of fu-”
Thor waved a hand, silencing his brother’s protestations. “Father insisted that Loki fashion trinkets enough for a nation of children, it was...oh, thousands. You should have seen him, Y/N...tinkering away for ten whole days and nights using all manner of magic to fashion carved animals and rudimentary affectations.”
Thor became glassy-eyed, his annoyance turning to nostalgia. Large hands grasped at memories of the presents, twirling the imagined items through his fingers; the twinkling lights from the tree reflecting in his wide, excited eyes.
“Little dolls and hoops and boats, oh brother, do you remember the hours you spent in the palace workshops with only candlelight for companionship?”
“And you, as I recall.” Loki said, his own indifference softening. “Not that you were much help.”
Thor let out a pffft, shaking his head with a smile. “You know very well Father forbade me from assisting.”
He swivelled on the barstool, facing you across the breakfast bar once more. “My role was to be more logistical, you see. Loki was to create the gifts, I was to deliver them.”
“Deliver them?” you gasped, leaning forward in amazement.
“Oh yes, Y/N.” Thor nodded solemnly. “But Father concocted a bit of a ruse. It was during the changing of the guard in terms of religion and all that malarky so we had to be...subtle.”
“Clandestine.” Loki corrected seductively in your ear, his unexpected warm breath making you shiver. “Not my brother’s strong suit, darling.”
You jumped as his hand slid around your waist, resting of your stomach. You hadn’t even seen him move from across the breakfast bar and circle behind you.
His firm chest pressed against your back, feeling yourself melt against the rough wool of his jumper. Your eyes fluttered shut, before Thor cleared his throat.
“Yes, well...enough of the old lore was in circulation that we couldn’t stir the metaphorical pot much to my dismay. Father was adamant. So Loki was in charge of disguising me in a more...unrecognisable form than my typical unique brand of perfection.”
“Ruddy-cheeked and old and soft in the belly. And a wholly ridiculous beard.” Loki smirked against your cheek, his eyes trailing his brother’s face.
“I may have used a certain someone for inspiration, considering his interference.” he purred, making you giggle. Thor huffed, “Like I said, unrecognisable brother.”
Loki kissed your cheek, his sultry tones entirely unnecessary to the situation. “There were too many gifts to manage in one trip through the bifrost, so we saddled a chariot to Sleipnir and one enchanted sack later, our plan was in motion.”
Thor cleared his throat again, fiddling with the sleeves of his jumper as Loki’s kisses worked down your neck; a small whimper escaping your lips.
“Delivery was rather swift if I do say so myself, minus one or two...setbacks.” the blonde muttered, as Loki erupted in a gruff snort of laughter against your skin.
“Setbacks? You mean your clumsy attempt to gain access to ill-gotten snacks on your journeys through the Norwegian tundra?”
Thor shrugged, pulling a thread from his chest. “I hear that in future years the people of the realm started leaving said snacks out in anticipation of such a need.”
“Yes, brother. To avoid their dwelling being raided through any available opening. I mean really, that year how many chimneys did you find your festively plump arse entrapped in, brother? Seven? Any other fool would have stopped after the first. A ridiculous display.”
Thor stood, his finger waggling in Loki’s direction. Your dark lover rested his chin on your shoulder, stooped flush against your back. The feeling of his warmth against you was one you never wanted to lose.
A smile pressed against your cheeks as you bit your lip, Thor’s indignation in combination with his ridiculous sweater building a bubbling roll of laughter in your belly.
“So...how many years did you do this?” you managed to choke, squeezing Loki’s arms tighter around your midriff. Thor shrugged. “Five or six...dozen, perhaps...and then the parents of this realm sort of, took over gradually. Good thing, too...the way it’s spread.”
“Thank the Norns.” Loki huffed, burying his face in your hair. You could feel him sigh against your skin, inhaling your scent theatrically.
Thor cleared his throat louder, averting his eyes from the sensual scene unfolding in front of him. “All this talk of snacks has found me rather peckish I’m going to...to…”
Loki’s hands wandered, his thumb grazing the curve of your breast through your own initialled Christmas jumper. The world faded as Loki’s mouth found yours with a quiet groan, his tongue slipping between your parted lips.
From beyond the haze, you heard the kitchen door swing shut as Thor departed. Alone, at last.
“Come here” Loki growled, his eyelids heavy with simmering lust as he pulled you down from the stool. You giggled, casting a glance around the living room sparkling with festive cheer.
The warm glow of fairy lights nestled in vibrant pine cast shadows on Loki’s features, the corner of his eyes creased with the same mischief tugging on his lips. God, how you loved him.
He led you across the room towards an inconspicuous door you had always assumed was a closet, a small ‘No Entry’ sign placed centrally upon it.
A wave of citrus and pine hit you as Loki turned the handle and opened the door, revealing a small but perfectly formed room.
Soft lighting flooded the opening, the warm glow reminding you of a fireside. Rolls of festive wrapping paper hung on the walls, exquisite ribbons draping downward from spindles in fluttering splashes of gold, red and green.
Neatly packed boxes of bows were stacked on shelves, divided by size and colour; labels and a selection of fountain pens lined perfectly against the wall on a solid mahogany desk.
You gasped, “Is this Pepper’s wrapping room? I thought it was a myth.”
“Hidden in plain sight, darling.” Loki winked, pulling you inside and closing the door behind him with a soft click. His hands ran over your hips, manoeuvring your ass back against the solid desk.
“Loki, we shouldn’t…” you murmured between his ravenous kisses, the words sounding even less convincing in the air than they did in your head.
“Correct.” Loki growled, unzipping the side of your skirt with devastating slowness. “But when has that ever stopped us, my love?”
The fabric slid down, pooling around your ankles. Loki’s fingers toyed at the waistband of your thick pantyhose, rolling them below your hips.
You sat back on the desk, extending one leg as he slid the 200 denier down your thigh, raising your calf and placing a deep kiss on the bare skin.
He did the same on the other side, his piercing gaze never leaving yours in the low light. You could feel a sea of wetness pooling in your panties, the need for him growing with every intentionally teasing touch of his fingertips.
You crossed your arms across your chest, tugging the jumper upward. Loki pushed them gently down. “The festive sweaters stay on, love.” he purred with a wink.
The god sank to his knees, widening your legs. He hummed, sliding a wide palm up your naked thigh and trailing a finger through your glistening folds. “Darling” he growled, “it’s been over a year, are you truly still this desperate for me?”
Before you could answer, two fingers slid inside you; making your head fall back with a groan. “Yes, Loki” you gasped, as he pumped them firmly back and forth, his thumb circling your swollen clit.
"Lucky me." he murmured, before his lips fastened to the centre of your desire. He lapped at the trail of sticky arousal smeared against your skin, caressing every crevice. Muffled approval rumbled in his throat as he slowly removed the fingers, his tongue delving deeper into the warm heat he craved.
You grasped the sides of the desk, resting back on your elbows as you balanced your feet on his thick thighs.
Loki shook his head gently back and forth, nose grazing downward as he pleasured every inch of you with whoreish abandon. Even his eyelashes would be wet.
“God...baby, yes..y-es, f-fuck…” you sighed, feeling his fingers tighten around the soft flesh of your spread thighs. He suckled gently, wide strokes of his tongue rolled over your slit.
You would never know how he could be so fucking good at this.
A hand wound in his hair, pushing him deeper against your needy cunt. He growled, the vibration against your clit making you pulse. In a flash, he rolled you backwards, pushing your calves backward so you were completely exposed.
Flat on the table, you craned forward to watch his tongue work your pussy; every lick accompanied by a dark, delicious moan. His eyes were closed in blissful concentration, strands of long hair trailing against your bare skin.
The furrow of his brow betrayed the lust you knew was straining against his trousers out of sight. He was always so fucking hard for you. So fucking hard for me, you thought; whimpering as you watched him work with your mouth open. Panting.
Loki sucked your clit gently, sending jolts through your body, legs twitching.
“Loki…” you keened, trying to thrust your hips upward. He chuckled against your plump lips, sucking them between his teeth in response. Your lover pulled them back gently, releasing them with a wet slurp.
“Come in my mouth, goddess.” he whispered, placing another languishing lick up your centre.
Your head fell back against the desk with a thud, hands gripping the edge beneath you. Hot cum flooded Loki’s tongue, his moans of pleasure matching your own as you juddered like a dying thing beneath lingering suckles.
You saw stars, murmurs of his name all you could muster as you felt a glow of seidr radiate from his body. He rose above you, his huge cock standing proudly up against the comically unsexy green sweater.
You laughed, covering your mouth as he bent over your body; silencing your mirth with a hungry kiss.
“You dare laugh at a god’s attire? How rude…” he purred playfully, running a hand down your thigh as you wrapped your legs around his waist, drawing him closer.
You both groaned as he entered you, the veins of his thick manhood rippling across every inch of your channel, fizzing with post-orgasmic bliss. Your hands slid up his cheekbones, the perfect symmetry of his features dazzling as his face twitched with the need to thrust deeper.
“Loki?” you murmured, making him pause. He looked down with concern, eyebrows slanting.
“...I love you.” you said, as his features softened. “I love you too, my precious one.” he whispered, placing a kiss on your forehead as you thrust your hips upward; sheathing him to the hilt.
He moaned loudly, a guttural grunt of your name. “F-fuck, darling…” he gasped, beginning to pump in and out of your soaking core. Every hit of his pelvis was magic, every pulse sending new sparks shooting through your blood.
His hips met the backs of your open thighs with wet slaps, hot breath mixing with yours; the two of you panting in rhythm.
Loki’s thrusts became sloppy as you tugged the back of his hair, a dark growl thundering in his chest as he buried his face in your cleavage hidden beneath the fuzzy jumper.
“Do you want me to f-fill you Y/N?” he asked through staggered breaths.
You nodded frantically, the angle of his heavenly cock making your back arch against the wood.
“Will you ever tire of having your god’s seed..uhhh, yes...d-dripping down those exquisite t-thighs?” His voice quivered with the effort of forming words, the rhetorical question hanging in the air; buffeted between grunts and whines of feral desire.
Loki tumbled over the precipice of orgasm with a deep moan as you squeezed your walls tight around his girth. He bottomed out as you rocked back and forth against his hips, feeling the thick slick of his cum spreading along his length before he collapsed against your chest.
The sound of his heavy breaths filled the small space, your heart soaring as he raised his chin to rest above your heart.
“You are my everything, darling.” he whispered, placing a kiss on your parted lips before sliding out of your pussy and waving his hand. The familiar feeling of his magic rolled up your lower body as he made both of you presentable once more.
“Now remember, you don’t know this place exists – alright?” he winked, helping you down from the desk. You brushed a strand of tinsel from his chest, your fingers lingering on the firmness snug beneath the garish festive sweater.
You took the few steps over to the door, opening it a crack and peering out to make sure the coast was clear. “Shit.” you whispered, whipping back to Loki with a wide-eyed stare.
The door swung open.
“Pepper can never know about this.” Tony said gruffly.
His eyebrows rose sceptically as he stood with his arms folded, resting against the sofa.
You and Loki looked at each other, as a smirk curled the corner of Tony’s mouth. “Honestly, how you guys got away with this shit for as long as you did is beyond me. Maybe you’ve lost your touch.”
A burning heat spread over your cheeks, hearing Loki chuckle incredulously beside you. "We were simply..." he began, promptly cut off.
"-I think that particular ship has sailed, folks." Tony sighed, pushing himself away from the sofa. "Sailed and sunk. The SS Sinking Sluts..."
You pursed your lips, as Tony straightened.
“Just do me a favour, Laufeyson...make sure you didn’t leave a present of your own in there." he murmured theatrically.
"I could handle Steve and the car with the whole racoon business- but Pepper...?” Tony pointed knowingly at your lover before spinning on his heels, walking leisurely towards the door as Loki rolled his eyes.
“No Asgardian stuffing on my wife’s ribbons, Laufeyson. Check it once, then check it twice. That’s an order.” he shouted with a casual wave, before disappearing around the corner.
A/N: Thank you @lokischambermaid for concocting the intricacies of Thor's 'magic' belt with me🤣
@lady-rose-moon @gigglingtigger @holymultiplefandomsbatman @muddyorbsblr @xorpsbane @lokikissesmyforehead @simplyholl @fictive-sl0th @ijuststareatstuffhereok89 @loopsisloops @thedistractedagglomeration @loveroflokiforpoeticjustice @123forgottherest @joyful-enchantress @sititran @jaidenhawke @silverfire475 @mrsbarnes32557038 @michelleleewise @vbecker10 @imalovernotahater @thomase1 @morriggannlostinfandoms @ladylovesloki @marygoddessofmischief @ravenwings73 @filthyhiddles @peacefulpianist @maple-seed @yelkmelk @wheredafandomat @mistress-ofmagic @five-miles-over @goblingirlsarah @ozymdias @peaches1958 @your-taste-on-my-lips @lokisgirll @lokidokieokie @kikster606 @peachyjinx @peachyymallows @soldeloki @tbhiddlestan83 @trickster-maiden @trojanaurora @ladyofthestayingpower
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I need to... (1)
1... Get the f*ck out of here
MASTERLIST
Summary: An awful event leads you to rethink of everything
Pairings: Aemond Targaryen x Fem!Reader (for now)
Warnings: There are mentions of them being Minors! at some point in their relationship, cursing, cheating, angst, depression, age gap (not for reader), coercion, toxic relationship, drinking alcohol to cope, in some countries it is underage drinking, (reader is 18). might forget some warnings…
Wordcount: 4 k
Notes: This just started like a blurb, and now we are here. AAAHHHH this is going to be soft, romcom sort of thing, but a bit angsty at first…
You knew him like the palm of your hand, and that is how you could pinpoint the exact day something went wrong, were perhaps his affair started, you couldn’t be sure
You wanted to go to Winterfell University, it was far North in the continent, they say it was always winter there, cold, and wild, but you had seen pictures and had been there briefly on vacations with your family and you absolutely loved it, besides, it had a great program on what you wanted to study, you wanted an adventure, you wanted to completely change your surroundings, get out of your comfort zone, fly off the nest.
But Aemond, your loving boyfriend and highschool sweetheart didn’t think so, you didn’t want to break your relationship, besides, Aemond’s family owned an airline, it would be a four hour journey to meet you there. But he insisted it was too far. You believed that on the one hand that a time apart could be good for you, you would miss him more, and therefore your reunions would be way more intense and hotter, but no.
An that time it made sense, you were drawing your future together, so he convinced you to go to Dragonstone University with him. The university of his dreams.
It was completely his environment, the university specialized on what he wanted to study, diplomacy and political sciences, so for him it was a perfect fit.
But not for you
All the alumni were perfect, serious, dressed like they all belonged to old money, just like Aemond, he was like a fish of the same pond, and you? were a fucking Alligator. You felt big, clumsy, unwanted.
There wasn’t a career in design, like the one you wanted to follow, instead, there was plastic arts and photography, even architecture, so, in your first year, you made sure to take a couple of subjects leading in all of those directions.
That was your first mistake.
You should have stayed in architecture, maybe, photography even, but instead, you decided to take a course with Professor Alys Rivers. In a plastic arts class
That was your second
Soon you became some sort of friends
She was tall, beautiful, dark long locks, big green eyes, the woman was stunning, young, just started teaching, and soon she became your mentor
You liked her
She realized you were frustrated, and take special care in you, mentoring you, and keeping you close to her, she told you maybe you would be good at teaching, and maybe she wouldn’t have taken so long in deciding she wanted to teach
She was thirty five years old
But as Aemond was thriving, you were quickly losing yourself
Classes were boring, didn't raise your interest, the people here were strange, you were afraid to say you weren’t making any friends and not for the lack of trying
It got so bad you only went out with Aemond, who was even after a few months, the most popular guy in his class, it was becoming a very unbalanced relationship
You and Aemond had grown up together, you were neighbors with his nephews Jacaerys, Lucerys and joffrey, the first one being your classmate with Aemond
You played together as children, and in eleventh grade he had formerly asked you to date him, to be his girlfriend
Both your families were ecstatic
HIghschool sweethearts, you knew each other forever, you were going to marry and live a perfect life, Aemond wanted to be a diplomat, and you were catching up to be his beautiful, smart, joyful trophy wife.
You didn’t see it that way then
You wanted to follow a design career, he didn’t take you seriously, but encouraged you
The problem is that Winterfell was too far away, so he convinced you to take architecture courses in his university, the best one in the country for what he wanted, the kind of university that grooms the men and women that were going to take over the world one day. It was huge, a big castle from five thousand years ago, the least you could do was enjoy the architecture.
He was the perfect man, the perfect boyfriend, the one your parents would adore, and they did, he was chivalrous, patient, kind, generous…
You introduced him to your favorite teacher hen you ran into each other at the campus’ coffee shop
That was your third mistake, to invite Alys to join you both to take a cup of coffee,
If you only payed attention to the looks they gave each other
“So she is the teacher you have talked to me about”, Aemond said sheepishly, you only hummed as you kept reading a tome about a tyroshi painter who was the first in drawing the human body in all its forms, he was sort of famous, had lived more than a thousand years ago
“Yes, she is so sweet”, you whispered, “she is an artist, but so down to earth you know?”, you said without even thinking, “you can completely see the process behind her works, she is amazing”
Aemond had the luck (or money), to get single in the dorms, so he slept alone, so you could stay with him anytime you’d like, and you really liked it, your roommate was a bit mean.
And suddenly, Aemond has to study… a lot, you didn’t sleep with him anymore, even though your after class activities were as active as ever.
He was concentrating on his classes, (or that is what you thought), so you were going to start and do the same, and you tried, so so hard
But you were failing
You were already started the last month of the semester, and two of your teachers told you unceremoniously, that you were failing
BAD
You barely contained your tears, your lips were quivering and your nose tickled, and you went to the only person who could bring you comfort… one of the two… your professor Alys, whose class you had been getting pure A’s in
You never saw it coming
Her classroom was the last one in one of the towers of the incredible castle, and when you started climbing up the stairs, your stomach sank
It was late, the sun already hiding on the horizon, but you knew she was still in her atelier, and there she was
You could what the moans and whispers before you saw them, your cheeks heated and a sick curiosity made you sneak a peek inside the classroom
Oh how you wish you didn’t
There she was, your thirty five year-old teacher being pounded by your nineteen year old boyfriend
You’d recognize that silver hair anywhere, everywhere
You wanted to throw up
Alys and Aemond, Aemond was fucking Alys
Together
Fucking
Sweating
You just stood there
Your arm moved alone, as you raised your phone and took a picture of them, you could need it for later, but it wasn’t you who made that decision, it certainly wasn’t you
You were crying
You covered your mouth to sob outloud and for them to hear it, and you walked away, it was a miracle you managed to went down those treacherous steps and not smash your head, perhaps you would have preferred it, to smash your head against the stone floors, to turn off your head
the tears stopped, and your feet moved on your own as they took you out of there, you didn’t want anyone to see you, you didn’t want to give this university more of you, not your tears, not more of your efforts, no nothing
You didn’t go to your room, you couldn’t, you know she was going to be there, Maris Baratheon, and you couldn’t face her, not now, not ever.
You needed something else…
So you walked to the only bar near campus, many of your classmates would call it a “slum”, it wasn’t very popular with students, and that’s exactly what you needed.
You sat on a stool on the bar, and waited for the bartender to get to you, didn’t push him, just looked at the
“looks like you need a drink”, you looked to the side to find a young guy, maybe short twenties, dark born hair, green eyes
“Don’t I?”, you mocked, smiling shyly, he was cute. You couldn’t help but notice his Winterfell University Jersey. He offered you a pint, and you took it gladly, you really needed it, “aren’t you a bit far from”, you pointed at his chest where the varsity letters told you where he was from, he only chuckled
“They sent me in a… diplomatic mission”, he said with a mystery tone, and wiggling his eyebrows
“Are you recruiting students to go to the far North?”, you said, and if he said yes, you were going to beg him to take you with him
“Yes”
“Oh”, you seemed truly amused so he offered you his hand
“Ben Tallheart”, he whispered, and you shook his hand, giving him your name. “What do you know about the university anyways?”, he asked, taking a sip of his beer
“I wanted to apply there”, you answered, and he looked at you surprised, “I wanted to take the designer degree”
“Why didn’t you?”, he asked
“I decided to follow my boyfriend here, who I just found out is screwing my plastic arts teacher”, he spitted his beer
“What?”, he asked, not knowing if to laugh or just be horrified
“Yep”, you said, taking a long sip of your own beer
“Uf, that must be tough”, speak of the devil, your phone started ringing, to no surprise, you discovered it was Aemond who was calling you, and fuck it hurt
“I’m gonna need something stronger than this”, you said to him, canceling the call, you just wouldn’t let it ring, you wanted him to realize you had hung up on him. Ben smiled, asking the bartender for two tequila shots
It was to pints later and five tequila shots, that you were laughing your face out, hugging him with one of your arms the shoulders of Ben
“I want to go to Winterfell, fuck this college”
“Yes, fuck it!”, he said, “this college sucks, filled with stuck ups…”
Your phone had ringed so much it vibrated off the table and it was currently missing from your earshot and eye shot
You didn’t want to know either
“You think they’ll take me?”, you asked him with teary eyes
“Of course they will!”, he laughed
“Half semester?”, you asked
“Of course!”
“Let’s fucking do it!”, you cheered, and everyone in the bar cheered with you, “I need to get the fuck outta here”, you said, and Ben laughed wholeheartedly.
The rest of the night was a blur, you knew Ben had walked with you back to campus and accompanied you to the door of your room
“My stuck up roommate is probably in”, you told him, and he nodded
“If you meant what you said”, he said, “and you are truly interested in coming to Winterfell University, here”, he passed you his presentation card, “give me a ring tomorrow”, you only nodded
“Thank you”, you whispered, and he only nodded, and left you.
You entered your room and there she was, your roommate, putting innumerable creams in her face
“Eh, where have you been?”, oh that tone
“What?”, you asked, already coming down from your binge, “what do you care?”
“Ugh, you’re drunk!?”
“A little”, you grumbled, dropping to your bed
“Iu”, she whined, “Aemond was here you know, looking for you”, she told you, “you truly don’t deserve him, he was so concerned”
Oh poor Aemond, he couldn’t find you after he was fucking your plastic arts teacher, i bet that filthy motherfucker didn’t even shower before he came looking for you
“I bet”, you whispered, you then remembered you couldn’t find your phone, probably was still on the floor of that bar… Shit you were going to need it if you truly planned on contacting Ben for that transfer.
But tonight you couldn’t do anything because you were practically kicked out of that bar, it had to be tomorrow, so, to the horror of your roommate, you just dozed off, dressed in the same clothes, reeking of bar and secondhand smoke.
The next morning you woke up and thankfully, you were alone, your head hurt, but not as much as your heart.
Gods it hurt
You had burned the image of Aemond and Alys, fucking on top of her desk, and you couldn’t believe it. Aemond, your Aemond.
Your nose started to tickle, knowing you were about to cry you stood up, and searched for a change of clothes, you took your towel, and went straight for the bathroom, to wash your night off of your hair.
That morning you had classes with profes-… with that bitch Alys, so you didn’t even bother showing up. And since most of the college was in classes by now, you found yourself alone in the big bathroom.
You hadn't cried until now, but as you undressed yourself and got under the generous flow of water, something inside you just… unraveled. You started weeping uncontrollably, choking with your tears and the water, you hugged yourself under the falling boiling water seeking for comfort, but you couldn’t find any
Every breath you took hurt, deep within your chest, and you cried and cried until you felt your eyes sore
Your Aemond, your boyfriend, the one that gave you a promise ring… the one you knew since kindergarten, the one who was your first kiss, your first… everything! He was cheating on you with your own professor, Alys, the one that encouraged you and tried to nurture you, and guide you through this uncertainty in this part of your life. The one that you considered to be your only stone here besides your loving boyfriend
What was wrong with them?
What was wrong with you? What did you do wrong? you chose school because of him, you changed careers, you endured a hell for him, you dressed how he liked it, to arranged your hair the way he liked it, you stopped doing things you enjoyed, stopped watching films that made you laugh because they were “childish”, you stopped listening to upbeat music because it wasn’t “proper”
Everything for him
You loved him with all your heart
You knew Friday morning he had this debate class, very important and he couldn’t miss it, or he would have been throwing your door down, so you took that as a sign, you needed to work fast and sneakily.
You needed to get out of here
You didn’t want to see him ever again
So you ran back to your room, got dressed quickly, and the first thing you did was run back to the bar, where the cleaning lady returned your phone to you.
You turned it on and to no surprise, you found thousands of texts and missed calls from Aemond
“love where are you?”
“Are you alright?”
“I’m coming to your dorm”
“Maris says you were not there, wtf? where are you?”
“You clearly don’t want to speak to me, but I just wanted to know you are ok”
“I don’t understand why you are doing this to me, did I do something wrong? Are you mad?”
“The least you could do is face me like an adult”
You rolled your eyes as you read the messages, he growing angrier, trying to turn this on you
But then he sent a video of a instagram story, of you and Ben hugging and laughing, taking tequila shots, it was uploaded by a classmate of Aemond who had clearly saw you
“I see that you were not alone, I can’t believe you would do this to me”, he wrote, and you chuckled darkly, the audacity of him had no limits whatsoever, “I just wanted to see you, and be with you, I wanted you to help me study for my finals, I know this few months had been hard on you, but I least I thought we had eachother”, but then it got worse, he send you a picture of a flower bouquet and a dark red box, “I wanted to gift you this, to show you how much I love you, and how much I was looking forward to a future with you”, you couldn’t kept walking, you had to sit down in a bench looking down at a cliff, you couldn’t even walk because of how much you were crying.
You couldn’t believe this
Why would he do this to you? you had given him your everything, you had sex almost every day, you complimented each other, you told each other everything, you were what you thought a power couple, only that he had all the power while you were his cheerleader….
This fucker, you wiped your tears angrily from your face.
You were feeling a pain in your chest and you truly believed for a second you were having a heart attack, that you were positively going to die right here in this rusty bench, alone.
Your drunken thoughts from last night came rushing back in, of wanting to transfer to Winterfell University half semester.
It was an insane thought
But you also believe you couldn’t stay here, for what? this isn’t what you wanted, the only thing you thought you had was Aemond, who you just found out fucking YOUR teacher in the classroom. Staying here was insane, you had no friends, now you had no boyfriend, no career
When you finally calmed down and walked back to your dorm room, Aemond was waiting for you right outside.
And it's like all your convictions of leaving him and this school faltered just like that, just seeing him like that standing, his furrowed brow looking concerned for you. He was worried bout you, for a second you even believed that this was all a misunderstanding, they he couldn’t possibly do this to you
Right then and there you just wanted to beg him to stop, to stop his affair and look you in the eye and promise you it was never going to happen again, that he loved you, that you were the one. That he was drunk, or she made him do it. She coerced him into it.
But then he looked at you, and his concern went to annoyance
“Where have you been?”, he asked, walking towards you, “I was concerned for you!”, he immediately went to himself and what he was feeling, and you didn’t know where you got the strength from, but you looked at him, serious in the eye
“I failed color theory and anatomy drawing class”, you said, looking him in the eye, and the worst part is that you weren’t truly lying. His face softened as he looked at you with pity, “I feel like a massive failure, and I didn’t want to cry to you because you are already in the excellency program”, you whispered, looking at the ground in front of you
“So your solution was to go drink at a bar?”, he asked then, again, annoyed
“I found this guy that was from Winterfell University, the one I wanted to go, and asked him about the programs…”, he sighed
“We talked about this”, he said, “that college is not even ranking…”
“I don’t care Aemond”, you whispered, “I just need to sleep, please, and you are going to be late”, you whispered, not daring to look him in the eye
You believed you knew his schedule, but apparently not, because when he was supposed to be in study group, he was fucking your teacher…
“Are you going to be alright?”, he asked, “because I need my study partner”, he said, trying to sound hopeful. Yes you helped him study, you prepared flashcards for him, because you knew he had visual memory so he studied better with colors and images, so you prepared his study material and quizzed him
Maybe a couple of times with stripping quizzes…
Oh how foolish you had been
“Yes Aem”, you said, managing to smile at him, “I just need some time”
“You have it love”, he whispered, “I love you”
“Love you”, you closed the door gently, leaving him outside, and threw yourself in the bed, hiding your face in the pillow and weeped a bit more.
Perhaps you should face Aemond, hear what he has to say, you wanted to believe it so badly, that there was something else to it, that perhaps…
You were a fool
They were fucking on top her desk… what else is there? he was cheating on you, she was violating hundreds of protocols, so was he
You dozed off to sleep
You woke up when your roommate entered the room
“You still drunk?”, she sneered
“No”, you whispered, “just tired”, you didn’t even know why you bothered
You have made a decision…
You were going to leave this place
You were going to leave and not tell a soul, not even Aemond, you were going to disappear from his life, from one hour to the next
You contacted Ben, and he told you everything you need to know, the semester was almost over, but the next one was just around the corner, and you had to do this, not even for spite, but because this is what you wanted from your future
So you did the only thing you could think off
So went to speak with the dean
She was an old family friend, she knew your parents and family since forever, she was very professional and never showed favoritism, but, you knew you were on her good side
“I want to know if I can transfer to another university”, you asked shakily, once she invited you to take a seat in in front of her desk, she looked at you puzzled
“Did something happen? the school year is not even over yet”, she said with her kind eyes, truly worried for you
“I realized I didn’t choose the university for the school path I wanted to take”, you tried to explain, but the sorrow in your face made her believe you were not being truthful, or that you weren’t telling her the truth, “I choose Dragonstone because of love”. you continued, “and now I don’t have that love, and… I want to study a design mayor”
“I see”, now she was more pleased, “Where would you like to go?”, she asked
“Winterfell University”, you said without even thinking about it, she only nodded
“I have a good friend up there”, she said, “so the change wouldn’t be the problem, you have the grades and the Maester exams scores in your favor, but, are you sure this is what you want?”, she asked.
“More than anything”, you said with a smile
Rhaenys Targaryen was the cousin of Aemond’s father, but they didn’t get along very well, it was messy, she was the Headmaster to Dragonstone University
“You will have to start in the middle of the year”, she warned, and you only nodded
“It’s what I want”, you assured her, she looked at you, analyzing you
“Good, but first, I need you to finish the courses you are in”, your face said it all as it froze in place, looking at the face of that witch is the last thing you wanted to do
“That is expected of me”, you said, and smiled, she smiled back
“I’ll start with the paperwork, I have already received a letter of recommendation from Ben Tallheart, a representative of Winterfell university that is in the grounds this week”
“Yeah, I’ve met him”, you said smiling shyly
“Good luck finishing the rest of the courses”
Luck, you will need.
After chapter notes: look, if I stopped and wrote all the details of their relationship, this whole fic would be around them, so I narrated what happened instead of making the reader “live it”, get my meaning? This is about healing and seeing that there is something more than “that great love”, so I didn’t stop to focus on the toxic relationship with Aemond, so… One mroe chapter of reader's mess, and we are off to Winterfell! jeje
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