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takerfoxx · 5 years

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She-Ra and the Princesses of Power, Season 3 FINALE, First Impressions.

=slowly sits down with my head in my hands=

=heavy sigh=

All right.

Let’s do this.

When we last left Adora, she had been instructed to “go back to the beginning” without really knowing what that means. But first she took a detour (with Madam Razz’s blessing) to go get Glimmer and Bow first. And when she arrived.

Oh. Oh no...

At first I thought reality had molded itself exclusively into what Catra wants. But now we see that it was doing it everything, creating a superficially perfect world. And in Glimmer’s perfect world, she has a wonderful relationship with her mother, Bow is still around but working as an apprentice historian (which, uh, raises...questions), and...

...um...

...and her father is still alive.

We finally meet King Micah, and he is every bit the loving and supportive father and husband he’s been made out to be. I was already steeling myself to be emotionally ravaged by this episode, but that got me. And it goes back to what I’ve said a hundred times before: execution is everything. I’ve seen this trope so many times, where a main character wakes in an alternate reality that’s happier than the one they’ve known, usually complete with a happy relationship with an absent parent. And normally it doesn’t do anything for me, but because this show had worked so hard to make me care about these characters, seeing King Micah there with his wife and daughter...it got to me. And it’s interesting to note that the “perfect” reality is constantly remodeling itself. When Adora was in the Fright Zone, the invasion was well underway with her having led the attack on Thaymor that we saw in the pilot and they were all gearing up to go after Mermista. But since the Fright Zone had been consumed by the collapse, the invasion had never even happened, and those in Brightmoon didn’t even know what the Horde was.

Unfortunately the collapse is still underway, and it comes to Brightmoon. Fortunately Glimmer and Bow come to believe Adora and they make their way to go see Entrapta for advice, but not before Glimmer’s home is destroyed, and not before Angella remembers who she is and has to say goodbye to Micah for the second time. What makes it worse is the heavy implication that this Micah isn’t some illusion conjured up to make her and Glimmer happy, but might be the actual Micah, returned from the dead. He seems to actually remember everything for himself and realize what’s going on...mere seconds before he’s consumed.

Fuck.

Anyway, reality starts really breaking down then, and the BFS start getting shuffled around from place to place at lightning speed, all the while watching people they care about disappear. Fortunately, Entrapta lasts long enough to let them know that not only is reality collapsing around them, but it’s following Adora specifically since it was her sword that opened the portal. That’s why different places don’t seem to fall apart until she goes there. Entrapta also let’s them know how to bring things back to normal: they need to find Adora’s sword. Unfortunately, doing to will force whoever removes the sword from the portal to stay behind. When I heard that, I knew.

And well, they set off to do just that, but by then things have already gone too far. Reality is now truly fucked, cycling them through space and time. We see the old Etheria before it was removed from the universe. We finally meet Mara, hundreds of years in the past.

And we watch Bow and Glimmer disappear as well.

Yeah, I knew they were coming back, but by then I was so wrapped up in what was going on that it utterly destroyed me.

But Adora isn’t allowed time to grieve, because the long-awaited confrontation has finally come. Catra has found her, and she is so obsessed in denying Adora any sort of victory that she’ll gladly let time and space collapse in on itself and kill them all if it means that Adora loses.

Their battle through various various places we’ve visited throughout the show is in many ways a follow-up to The Promise, which was probably my favorite episode in the first season. They used to be so close, but now things have gone too far, and their relationship is all but unsalvageable.

It’s then that Adora finally realizes that she can’t save her former best friend. Catra’s just too far gone. And as much as I love Catra and really do want her to find some measure of peace, Adora snapping back that no, she’s not the one to blame for how Catra turned out and punching her with an emphatic, “You made your choice! Now live with it!” was incredibly satisfying. Because she’s right. No, what happened to Catra wasn’t her fault, but ultimately she has to start taking responsibility for her own actions and stop blaming everyone else.

Well, Shadow Weaver could still stand to shoulder a good chunk of that blame...

And then we get to that scene.

Well, you’re not wrong. And in the wise words of one of my childhood heroes...

I mean, I called it, didn’t I? I knew that the big tragic event was coming, and while I only figured out that it would be Angella, I still figured it out. But even though I saw it coming, even though I had time to brace myself, it still...

...

Fuck it.

Look, I have a very...complicated relationship with my parents. My dad is pretty mentally ill. At the very least he’s bipolar, and probably has several other things wrong with him too, causing him to be subject to sudden and extreme mood swings and paranoid thoughts. On top of it, he badly hurt his back when I was a kid which has left him in constant pain to this day, and what little details I’ve heard of his own childhood has painted him as being a damaged abuse survivor (sounds like someone else I know). As for my mom, well, she’s kind of like me, only a little less so. She’s a bit on the spectrum herself, and I’m pretty sure that even if she’s not outright aromantic, then she’s pretty damned close, and she has her own shit from her own past to work through. As such, he went into marriage looking for love, companionship, and support, while she was just getting married because she felt it was the thing to do, and she also wanted kids.

So while I’m glad that my brother, my sister, and I were brought into the world as a result, it’s clear that they never should have gotten together. Their relationship was constantly toxic and often mutually abusive, moreso on my dad’s end. And when you’re an autistic kid craving a stable and predictable environment growing up in a house that was anything but, when an offhand comment is perfectly fine one day but grounds for a full-on blow up the next, well, it’s...not exactly ideal. I was never physically or sexually abused or something like that, but one day he could be the goofiest, friendliest person in the world and the next one tiny joke will set him off. I mean, it wasn’t all bad. Hell, some of it was pretty great. He really did try to be a good father, and we shared a lot of the same interests, but he was a broken man in so many ways, battling demons that were just stronger than he was.

Anyway, they finally divorced when I was eighteen, and while that was pretty volatile, that was when I finally started to break out of my shell and develop into being my own person. Since then I’ve developed much healthier relationships with both of them. My mom and I have always gotten along great despite us sharing very few interests and having polar opposite political beliefs, and I still stop by to visit every other week to go to the movies or whatever. As for my dad, well, time, distance, and reflection have helped me to understand him better. I always knew that he truly does love us and was trying his best to be a good father, but he was sick and in constant conflict with his mind, with his body, and with his marriage. Nothing ever seemed to work out for him, and it got to him. But I’ll never forget this one story my mom told me about how soon after he had broken his back and lost his job as a result he would force himself to walk to job interviews despite being in so much pain that he could barely cross the parking lot, just because he felt that he had to provide for his family. I’ll always respect that about him, and while it doesn’t excuse the way he would often treat us when his demons took control, I understand him much better, and I pity him more than I resent him.

So, all of that big, long personal tangent to say this: I kind of am a sucker for stories about parental figures who are deeply flawed but do genuinely love their children and just work so hard to do right by them even if they don’t really understand how.

I bawled at the end of Logan despite not really being a big Wolverine fan. Yondu’s funeral in Guardians of the Galaxy 2 is probably the only time a Marvel movie made me tear up. Brave might be considered one of the lesser Pixar movies, it will always be one of my favorites.

Angella had been devastated by the loss of Micah, and that made her terrified of losing anyone else. It’s what caused the rift between her and her daughter. It’s what made her too scared to act. But despite labeling herself as a coward, she ultimately performed the bravest act, willingly laying down her life in order to save Etheria while trusting her daughter’s safety to Adora.

Oh, Angella, you were the bravest one of us. I hope that wherever you are now, you found Micah there waiting for you.

The portal is closed, and reality is restored. But there is plenty of damage to go around. That glare that Adora shoots Catra tell volumes about how their relationship is now. And just that sad look on Hordak’s face as he touches the stone (which bears the run for Loved in First Ones’ Language!) in the armor Entrapta made for him also said so much. You know, I never considered the idea that an evil overlord might have some kind of redemption story. Those are usually reserved for rivals like Catra or good-hearted minions like Entrapta. But if they go that route...I’m not at all opposed. At the very least he has a very compelling character arc, and I really do hope he and Entrapta reunite.

Also, while I am okay with Shadow Weaver working for the good guys now, I hope she’s not let off the hook for all the pain she’s caused. Catra’s wrong about a lot of things, but she is right about how it’s messed up that Shadow Weaver just gets to be one of the good guys after all she’s done. Still, I trust this show to handle it right.

But poor, poor Glimmer. She’s the queen now! She’s the head of the Rebellion! She finally got what she wanted, but in the worst possible way.

And as for that stinger...shit. Reality might have been saved, but Hordak succeeded in getting his message out. And now Horde Prime is coming, and he’s bringing the Horde, the real Horde with him

Well, I guess that wraps that up. I’m all caught up with the show and it’s about halfway through its planned run. Thank you so much to everyone to pushed me into watching this show, I thoroughly loved it. Now we wait together.

#she-ra #spop #adora #catra #angella #king micah #glimmer #hordak #entrapta #abuse tw #reaction

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pagingdoctordoesntgiveafuck · 5 years

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It’s New Year’s Eve, 2018!!! 🎉

Oh my fucking god a new year is about to begin!

Today is more than an arbitrary date to add some excitement, joy, and/or excelerant to the general let-down after the holidays depending on your mental state.

Figuring all that out is your deal, however, if you’re like me and you can’t wait to put your body to the test of champions this new year, or you’re just telling everyone that’s what you’ll be doing so they go mind their own business so you can carry about yours, below are some completely unverifiable and unsolicited medical, dietary, fitness, relationship, and mental health tips that you can definitely read and use but that’s totally your decision!

P. S. Recommended age of audience for this blog is 35+

Tip #1

I Gotta Lose Weight This Year For Real

That’s admirable as fuck. There’s a lot that goes into that, 78% of which being white, hot, blinding frustration, however you are actually not alone.

The secret to losing weight over time and keeping it off lies buried within the following blog:

https://quadcitycrossfitter.tumblr.com

You’re going to have to hunt for it.

“Honestly, better or worse than just getting a self help book. Like just as useless or???”

It depends on your patience level for creative grammar and your grasp on the use of sarcasm, however actual real, tested, proven (at least once), verifiable weight loss tips for gradual metabolic reset (What is that? Keep reading!) and maintaining a healthier BMI after overcoming morbid obesity is all up in those virtual pages so good luck to you.

Tip #2

I lost a ton of weight in 2018 and I’m saving up for plastic surgery this new year but it’s expensive, I’m just, like, really on the fence. How can I solve this debilitating preoccupation?!

Drink more water, get more restful sleep, be able to quickly identify anyone in your life that is exacerbating your preoccupation so you can limit their privilege of the use of your time, and learn the importance of stretching and body weight exercises.

“That’s seems like a lot of things.”

It’s 4-5 things.

“Also what are body weight exercises?”

Here’s some:

Tip #3

I’m single and I’m losing hope

Hey! Buck up, friend. You’re definitely not alone, depending on your personality. I totally get it! Dating is a little bit the worst, especially the older you get.

It seems like as people age they generally fall into one of two categories (of course there are exceptions):

A. The Lonely

and

B. The Annoyed

Do you know which one you are?

“Hahahahaha a little bit of A and a little bit of B. Just kidding A all the way hahahahaha, *sobbing*!!!!”

Guess what? Congratulations on being a normal human being with feelings. Also, maybe you’re more like 5% A and 95% B. Also cool, and wonderful, and what makes everyone so unique. Also, maybe you’re 150% B, which is totally cool also, just try not to be too much of a

C. The Asshole

ALSO: This is important. Maybe you think you are a B/C when you’re truly an A but you are concerned because you associate A with the most fucking annoying people on the planet and you kind of like a B or C and you don’t want to drive them away and blah, blah, blah. Who doesn’t relate to that? The only thing you can do is to be

D. Yourself

If people don’t like what you’ve got going on with your bad self, that’s their issue. Also, maybe you actually are the most fucking annoying person on the planet, that’s definitely your issue, however all you can be is yourself and then people can either deal or not and then, again, the issues ball is back in someone else’s hands where you don’t have to deal with it.

Some people would very much rather be single than in a garbage can of an abusive relationship. They understand life is too short and that life is meant to be lived to the fullest and all that hippy-dippy bullshit for real. That is a completely foreign concept in some areas of the country, however, that’s something you have to do some soul searching about to figure out and then you get to have whatever fun you can conjur up once you know that about yourself. You might actually someday meet someone who feels the same way and actually be in a happy and stable relationship.

If you are someone who must always be in a relationship or has a propensity for abusive relationships do not fuck with the type of person I’ve mentioned in the paragraph directly above this one.

You’re wasting everyone’s time, especially the person I’ve described in the paragraph directly above this one which might push the person you’re pursuing into 3,000% B (as described a little further up) territory which I don’t care how bad-ass you are, people that are too annoyed find pretty creative ways to not have to deal with whatever it is that is annoying/being too mean to them when it comes to actually being in a relationship with someone and there’s no need to start your 2019 off on a stupid note.

This is your year for love!

Why don’t you go take a basket weaving course or something?

Tip #4

You mentioned ‘Metabolic Reset’ earlier and I gotta tell you, my metabolism, like, HATES ME, tell me what’s up with that?

Honestly it’s strategic anorexia BUT only effective if you have a metabolic issue that you either created yourself from poor habits or maybe from a medication issue or maybe some sort of traumatic event or some hardly-plausible fucked up combonation of the three. This is getting into dangerous territory and they key lies within the power of your Google searching skills, whatever the cool mental illness is to tell everyone you have ends up being in 2019, and your ability to actually commit to forming and sticking to habits that you feel are important to you.

Also, maybe your metabolism should go fuck itself and you should find something else to fixate on because metabolic slowing is part of the normal aging process and you can definitely tamper with that if you want, but it’s a lot of effort and hello it’s cold outside. Consider going back to review ‘Tip #3’ and then keep your eyes peeled for someone who doesn’t give a shit about your metabolism and who you can cuddle (tee hee) and get drunk with you so you can watch your metabolisms crash and burn together.

I’m just kidding, ideally shoot for a balance between the two (in refrence to the paragraphs above).

But for real you can reset your metabolism but it’s pretty dangerous so go annoy a medical professional about all that.

If you talk to one that wants to fight me because of this please send them my way with just a courtesy head’s up on what kind of doctor they are so I know to what degree I will need to dumb down my defense.

Tip #5

I really feel like this new year will be my year, creatively. I’m ready to really embrace my expressive intuition and align my inner most...

Please do not hold back on sharing your Etsy page with friends and family in 2019. This very well could be your year!

Tip #6

I have a friend in need, I know I can make 2019 the year they accept Jesus as thier Lord and Savior

Hey, good for you for spreading the good word or whatever it is that you are doing but I’m just suggesting that maybe the lordiest thing you could do in this instance would be to maybe give that friend of yours some space. Maybe they already have a religion they both quasi-revere and ridicule mercilessly and your insistence on their need for whatever yours is exactly will just open up some sort of portal to anchient Vatican hell that no one wants to deal with. Also, sometimes people seem like they are in need depending on your inability to focus on yourself. There are totally plenty of people that need jesus though. Why don’t you consider taking a mission trip somewhere and see if you can find some people that way. If you get some sort of fucked up disease, parasite, or injury I unfortunately don’t have any unsolicited medical advice for any of that but may Jesus guide you quickly and comfortably into the light.

Tip #7

I have got to get control of my mental health this year!

Hey welcome to the club. It’s not that exclusive of a club because literally everyone is a member but you’re still totally unique and special. Maybe you need an emotional support. Have you considered a pet of some kind? Maybe you could look into your mind’s eye and materialize a spirit guide. People also make wonderful companions however if your mental health is truly that complex please make sure you widen your social network because catching and trapping just one emotional support actual person that you only need for your comfort and absolutely nothing else, especially if they are a B from ‘Tip 3’, is just a real waste of everyone’s time and resources. My real unsolicited advice is to go find a combo of an appropriate coping mechanism, counseling and/or therapy, and medication, however you gotta go figure all that out for yourself. Godspeed to you!

Anyway, have a wonderful 2019!!!

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foursprouthappiness-blog · 6 years

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9 Ways Children Of Narcissistic Parents Love Differently

New Post has been published on http://foursprout.com/happiness/9-ways-children-of-narcissistic-parents-love-differently/

9 Ways Children Of Narcissistic Parents Love Differently

Thought.is

1. We trust too easily and we don’t trust enough.

The children of narcissists are taught that they live in a frightening world – one where love is rarely unconditional. In the early stages of healing, the sight of healthy love and affection always looks slightly suspect to us. On the other hand, the sight of toxic love is all too familiar and feels like a comfort zone. We trust in the monsters disguised as saviors far more easily than we do those who offer us a stable version of love.

Dangerous people represent the same challenges that we underwent in early childhood, so to our subconscious, they ironically feel a lot less frightening. The trick is not to trust too easily or not trusting at all: the balance is found in trusting ourselves. Until we’ve learned to grieve and heal our core wounds from childhood, we won’t be able to trust our inner voice. We’ll continue to ignore the instincts that could save our lives or pre-judge someone who may want the best for us; that is why healing is so essential on our journey to self-love and love.

2. We deeply desire commitment, but we also fear it like the plague.

Outwardly, we seem to be the types in search of long-term commitment. Some of us may even have a habit of settling just for the sake of settling down; long-term relationships can provide an odd sense of comfort to someone who has always felt alienated, especially by their own flesh and blood. However, deep down, we also have an intense fear of commitment, especially when it comes to committing to a person who may actually truly care for us. The prospect of a stable partner represents a “forever” that is frightening.

Due to the enmeshed and dysfunctional family we grew up in, commitment to us signifies another person having complete control over us and our emotions. As a result, we tend to defend our freedom whenever we feel it might be challenged and can withdraw when things get too intense. On one hand, this is good when it comes to weeding out those who were just trying to fast-forward us into a shady arrangement anyway. On the other, it can also put a damper on a healthier longer-term relationship when things always feel at a standstill.

3. We are hyper-attuned – to everything.

Changes in tone? Check. Micro-shifts in facial expressions? Noted. Gestures that contradict spoken words? Documented. We are emotional private investigators that are highly attuned to changes in our environment. We had to be in order to survive our childhood – we had to be on the lookout for whenever our parents were about to verbally, emotionally or even physically harm us. Due to this, we are highly sensitive and intuitive to the needs of others, but we are also constantly on the lookout for what’s about to come.

This hyperactive attunement comes in handy when analyzing situations, picking up on someone else’s hidden emotions and predicting someone’s behavior, but it can help to take a step back from overanalyzing and also see the bigger picture every once in a while. In other words, it’s important to tune back to ourselves, what we’re feeling and how we can best take care of ourselves in that particular situation. We cannot control the actions of others, but we can control which relationships we continue to pursue and how we reclaim our power from toxic ones.

4. We can be ‘swallowed whole’ by the person we love; we make excellent caretakers but we have to work on becoming better boundary-makers.

Remember that hyper-attunement? Well, it comes in handy for being caretakers but not so much when it comes to maintaining boundaries. We learned to cater to the needs of our toxic parents at a very young age in order to survive. Many of us even took on parent roles. This means our boundaries are porous and need extra work and maintenance.

Otherwise, we can be swallowed whole by whoever we’re dating or in a relationship with. Their needs can become our fixation, often at the expense of our own. This can be especially dangerous if we’re dating another narcissistic person in adulthood. Learning that we have basic needs and rights seems like a rudimentary step, but it’s actually one of the most important milestones children of narcissistic parents can achieve.

5. We’re always waiting for the other shoe to drop.

Since the remnants of our childhood tend to lead to destructive cycles in adulthood, it’s not often that we meet someone who embodies what love and respect look like. On the rare occasion we find consistency in a partner or even a friend, it can initially scare the hell out of us.

What does it mean to have someone believe in us and support us without a hidden agenda? We don’t know, so in the early stages of healing, we might unconsciously find ways to sabotage that connection before it even has a chance to begin.

For a long time, our mentality might be, “what can’t come near us can’t hurt us.” This is natural for someone who had to endure multiple violations even before they became adults. It can also be a protective barrier against predators who are drawn to our empathy and resilience. Unfortunately, when taken too far in some contexts, it means we lose out on opportunities for true intimacy along the way. During the healing journey, children of narcissists can heal their fear of intimacy once they begin getting to know and trust themselves first.

6. We become easily enmeshed with toxic people.

Due to our past experiences of abuse, we tend to become attached to toxic people and chaotic situations in early adulthood in a more intense way because they bring up past wounds while also cementing new ones. We internalized verbal and emotional abuse as a twisted sense of “normal” in childhood, so it’s no wonder that we rationalize toxic behavior in adulthood. Anyone can be the victim of a predator, but as a childhood abuse survivor, people who envy or belittle us seem like a natural fit because this type of pain-pleasure dynamic is all we’ve ever experienced.

Children of narcissistic parents may find that they have unwittingly become tethered to numerous toxic people throughout their lives. We have to do a LOT of emotional house-cleaning to detach from these toxic relationships once we reach adulthood. It is crucial to clear that space for heathier relationships to enter and to breathe fresher air away from the constant toxicity.

7. We are fiercely independent.

While we’re taking care of everyone else’s needs, we give little mind to who’s taking care of ours. The thing about children of narcissists is that they learn to fend for themselves early on, to strategically navigate a psychological war zone. Children of narcissists are fighters, so at the end of the day, they don’t really need anyone to do anything for them – or so they believe.

Independence is a powerful trait, but it’s also wise to balance it out with the ability to ask for help and to look for reciprocity in relationships. Do not allow your independence to deprive you of the love and affection you deserve and give freely to others, especially to those who are undeserving of your time, energy and efforts. You are not an emotional punching bag or sponge. You are your own person and you are also deserving of having someone care for you in return should you need it.

Many children of narcissists tend to get into one-sided friendships or relationships where they get drained by the other person without getting any benefits in return. They give, give, give without getting because they’ve convinced themselves they don’t need anyone to do anything for them. This endless ‘giving’ is usually rooted in a deeply painful feeling of never being quite enough and having to work hard to receive love. Children of narcissists are conditioned to become givers by their parents and they grow up with the belief that no one is there for them anyway. They must learn to ask for and be receptive to receiving the same type of love and attention they’re so used to giving to others.

8. We are afraid of being seen, so we either become too visible by oversharing or disappear altogether by withdrawing.

Sometimes, children of narcissists have a tendency to overshare in the early stages of healing in the hopes that someone will see their pain and come rescue them. They put themselves out there to find that rescuer – only to find that the toxic types pretending to do the “rescuing” are only there to feed on their wounds and exploit their vulnerabilities.

However, once they become their own saviors, children of narcissists tend to vacillate in the other direction – they tend to close themselves off so no one can hurt them. If we are vulnerable with you, it’s because we want you to see us for who we really are and accept it. We crave that intimacy. But we take a huge risk in this, because for us, being visible was always akin to being punished and degraded. So be gentle with the child of a narcissistic parent – they’re disclosing things at a slower rate than most because they are trying to protect themselves from annihilation.

9. Despite it all, we are magnanimous with our love.

Children of narcissists are remarkable – in their strength, in their resilience and in their capacity to love despite everything they’ve been through. When we grow accustomed to the safety of someone truly safe, we give it our all and our all is a whole lot of love that we never received ourselves. If that isn’t a beautiful feat, I don’t know what is. Just give us time and space to adjust to this sense of safety as a new normal. When we have reached an optimal stage of healing, we love fiercely, with intention, with passion, and with special care because we deeply know what it’s like to be unloved – and we never want anyone else to go through what we did.

#Happiness

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foursprout-blog · 6 years

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9 Ways Children Of Narcissistic Parents Love Differently

New Post has been published on http://foursprout.com/happiness/9-ways-children-of-narcissistic-parents-love-differently/

9 Ways Children Of Narcissistic Parents Love Differently

Thought.is

1. We trust too easily and we don’t trust enough.

2. We deeply desire commitment, but we also fear it like the plague.

3. We are hyper-attuned – to everything.

4. We can be ‘swallowed whole’ by the person we love; we make excellent caretakers but we have to work on becoming better boundary-makers.

5. We’re always waiting for the other shoe to drop.

6. We become easily enmeshed with toxic people.

7. We are fiercely independent.

8. We are afraid of being seen, so we either become too visible by oversharing or disappear altogether by withdrawing.

9. Despite it all, we are magnanimous with our love.

#Happiness

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