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ultyso · 3 years

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(Censoring words solely because I’m not sure the word itself can be used on tumblr.)

T/W Mentions of p*dos

T/W Mentions of gr**ming

Tldr: As a CSA Survivor, voicing concerns of things I have heard people talk about on these topics in online spaces that does more damage than good to victims, survivors, and minors. I am only one voice, so please listen to all csa survivors, victims, and minors about this topic.

I don’t speak for everyone who is a CSA Survivor. We all have different experiences and feelings, some things may be less triggering or concerning for some more than others. Other CSA Survivors feel free to talk about your own feelings, experiences, and things you wished others knew as well since every CSA Survivor’s voice should be heard, not just my own.

These are my thoughts and some of the grievances I’ve had, the invalidation of my trauma, the things that have triggered back the trauma I thought I was able to heal so long ago, and I’m tired of it.

P*dophilia is not a term where you can just throw it around at anyone and everything. Be mindful where and how you use it. Do not let the severity of this word go down. It is not a joke. It is not some fun trendy buzzword. It is not a topic just for fictional media. It is a serious issue that harms so many children in the world.

Do not invalidate the trauma of victims by focusing on just fictional characters. Reporting fictional content as CP is not as helpful as you think. Investigators are on the look out to help save real children. Putting thousands of fanart/fanfics of fictional characters at the top of their feed lets p*dos hide easier and thus causes real children to still be trapped in their situation. If the fanart/fanfics is of real minors though, action should be taken.

You need to be a protector for real children. Learn the warning signs. Learn the prevention. Learn how to act if a real child has been harmed so you can help them. If you just treat it as a joke and use the word willy nilly on things that it does not actually pertain to it is immensely performative, makes it harder for investigators to find true perpetrators, and thus only hurts more kids than helps.

Clothing ≠ p*dophilia

Jfashion such as lolita and fairy kei is not p*dophilic or p*do-baiting. I don’t know why this has become the trend to call it that.

When you say this it sounds like victim blaming. “Well it’s what they wore.” Which is terrible. If you think wearing “childish” clothing is inherently sexual YOU are very much the problem.

Clothing is not what grabs p*dos attention. Clothing doesn’t do anything. It is a self expression for the wearer and that is it. For p*dos, it is the child themself they’re grossly invested in, not the clothes.

If you look at the origin of jfashion styles such as lolita, one part of the meaning is the resistance of sexualizing a person’s body. It also has nothing to do with the book so, stop equating them as the same.

Watching kid tv shows or movies, playing kid friendly video games, owning plushies or other kid toys ≠ p*dophilia

If you see an adult who is into movies/shows, toys, games made for kids chances are it could possibly be a CSA Survivor and this is their coping mechanism as a way to heal. To reclaim what was taken from them. Giving back to that inner child that never got the chance to live it. Even if they are not a CSA survivor, it could be an adult finally getting that doll they’ve wanted since they were little but could never get. Giving back to their inner child in that way. For me personally, KH is part of this for me. It has been my coping mechanism/safe haven since I was little. It is something I know I can always go back to that doesn’t bring harm to me. It’s an escapism from trauma and anxiety.

Height differences ≠ p*dophilia

An adult who is shorter than their significant other who is also an adult is not p*dophilia. A short adult is not “minor-coded.” They are just a short adult. A taller adult liking a shorter adult does NOT mean they like children. Joke or not this is inappropriate. Some adults just are not able to grow taller then others, so it feels like you are infantilizing a whole group of adult short people just because of their height. Not only that, but for survivors this can make them second guess their appropriate and safe relationships they have even more, which for some CSA Survivors it is already so hard to trust to begin with, this then can make them further associate even more things and people with their trauma that never needed to be and can cause further ptsd reactions.

A minor dating a minor one month/year younger/year older than them ≠ p*dophilia

This undermines the severity of what p*dophilia is. P*dophilia is an adult person who sexually fantasizes about, exhibits inappropriate and sexual behavior towards, has urges towards, and/or arousal towards minors. They are a sex offender/m*lestor as well if they act on those urges on a child. Thus becoming CSA.

This part is ONLY talking about minor + minor relationship: As cited from DSM-5 (wiki that has excerpt) “A person must be at least 16 years and at least 5 years older than the prepubescent child, for the attraction to be diagnosed as p*dophilia.” A 15 year old dating a 16 year old is not p*dophilia. If a 15 year old did inappropriate and non-consensual things to another minor the same age as, slightly younger than themself, or older than themself, that 15 year old would be more towards being called a juvenile/adolescent sex offender. Don’t use these terms willy nilly either, they are severe words too. Do not use them lightly for fun internet jargon.

In regards to fandom spaces. Just because someone on the internet labels themselves as something specific, does not mean this person can’t be a p*dophile based off of whatever the label is. You must always be careful with whom you interact with. They very well could be under the guise of feigning innocence and pointing fingers away from themself. Some may pretend to be one or the other and self-proclaim themself as the “good” adult. And HEAVILY emphasize this all the time. Which for me often raises a warning flag. Especially if they are in heavy contact with minors on a daily basis. Be always careful with anyone you interact with online no matter what they label themself as. You do not know who is behind the screen, so exercise extreme caution with the information you give to anyone, even if an account labels themselves as the same age as you. It could be someone pretending to be the same. Having a father who is a p*dophile, I can say, these gross people want to blend in. They’re going to feign innocence. They want to be in your line of trust. They may say things like “you don’t have to worry about me. I’m not that group of people” or “don’t trust them, trust me.” Be aware of the signs of gr**ming. This is a first tell tale sign that someone could be harmful. Some examples of warnings signs an be found here.

LGBTQIA+ ≠ p*dophilia

While there may be people who happen to be LGBTQIA+ that are a p*do, that does NOT mean everyone who is LGBTQIA+ is one. The community makes it explicitly clear that MAPS/p*dophiles are NEVER welcome in the community. It is harmful to associate them with the community too.

P*dophiles can be anywhere. In my my own experience, mine was my own father. They are in the most obvious spot and invisible to other’s eyes. They will if not often, be someone who has gained yours and other’s trust and preys heavily off of it. Such as a family member, a teacher, a doctor, a family friend, etc… They hide under this guise because what is the first thing anyone says? “Oh it couldn’t possibly be them. I know them. They’re good.”

I get wanting to know all the facts before putting a label such as p*dophile on someone. I get that some people do fake saying they were abused. I get it. When there’s a huge amount of evidence of someone being nefarious with children though, you can’t keep hiding from that truth and you need to stop supporting that person. Continuing to support those perpetrators just tells other scummy P*dos that as long as they’re well-liked enough, they too can get away with it. This only harms more children then helps.

Please put “T/W”s if you mention p*dophilia. CSA Survivors have different triggers and seeing the topic brought up willy nilly in spaces without it can be very harmful and may cause ptsd. Please be respectful to us all. Do not make a joke out of all of our suffering.

I’ve made a linktree of information on warnings signs, what to do, hotlines for victims, and more. Take action to protect real kids not just the fictional ones. That is all I ask: https://linktr.ee/CSA_Prevention_and_Help

#csa survivor #csa vent #trigger warning #p*do mention #tw p*dophilia mention #tw gr**ming mention

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tequiladimples · 3 years

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I hope this doesn't come off as rude, but I saw that you dislike when collision is branded het cause you're not het, but no one's talking about you personally? like for me, I really like collision but I can understand the criticism in a way and that isn't an attack on you (or an attack at all lol). again hope I'm not rude but idk it seems unnecessary to get upset, it's better to take it as constructive criticism

sigh i don't think ur rude but it simply isn't constructive.

look i’ll talk abt this one more time n then i Beg we can put it to rest! (this is gna be a lot of word vomit but if i'm elaborative now i hope i won't have to talk abt this ever again)

i’m deeply insecure abt many aspects of collision. i don’t really keep that a secret. i also know some ppl don't like fantasy, some ppl don't like the kinds of dynamics i like, some ppl don't vibe with my style of writing (hell, i barely vibe with my style of writing). those things are fine. i can't control that and i don't take that personally. the reason why this is the one critique i do take personally is because it genuinely presumes wrongful, harmful things about me and my values, especially when i've made deliberate efforts to avoid writing the exact flavor of fic they're accusing me of having written. just because people don’t mean for what they say to reflect back on me, doesn’t stop it from doing so.

the thing about calling something a “het fic” is that the term brings along certain connotations which i don’t stand by at all and feel deeply uncomfortable and distraught to possibly have created. i’ve gone over this godforsaken story again and again just to be absolutely sure i didn’t actually do so. when people say “het fic” they generally don’t mean “boy meets girl and they fall in love”, they mean “super rude and mean boy meets uptight virtuous girl and makes her fall in dependence with him through manipulation and treating her like shit until she behaves how he wants.” and that is straight up not the fic i wrote. i’m not stupid. i know the dynamic i went with is widely and easily misused and there’s a lot of fiction depicting really bad, uneven, unhealthy relationships through it. i knew this going in, and i’ve tried persistently to avoid making those same mistakes.

skipping over the fact that they’re both boys (bc duh)--harry doesn't exhibit any real manipulative power over louis. collision harry is a grumpy, fruity little nerd who happened upon a really unfortunate lot in life and managed to trick himself into believing he's evil for like half a second of the story and his resolves crumble like a danish pastry the moment he receives his first hug. he's kind of aloof and arrogant, and understandably hardened from his past, but he's not bad. he's just lost. that's the basis of his character arc. now on the other hand, louis has harry wrapped around his finger starting like chapter 4. harry’s the one who opens up emotionally first, harry’s the one desperately seeking louis’ approval and caring about his opinion, harry’s the one who makes himself vulnerable continuously throughout the entire story. the only time louis makes himself vulnerable on a comparable scale is during the smut scenes, and even then, harry is gentle and attentive and puts louis first. louis is less experienced than harry in that area, but he isn't scared or intimidated by harry, and he has full reigns of the progression and nature of their relationship as a whole. that’s kind of how it needs to go with tough x soft dynamics for the power balance to not feel uneven, and i wrote the story accordingly. if you then happen to still be so blindly determined to associate soft/small with weakness (and thereby uh, womanhood ig) that you still felt like louis had an inferior position to harry solely because he is indeed soft/small, that sounds quite frankly like a you problem.

now, the whole point of louis’ character is that he’s underestimated. sure, he’s naive and self-centered and sheltered from the real world--that’s the basis of his character arc. those things all change. but louis isn’t ever weak. like idk who apparently needs to hear this but you can be small and simultaneously not be a pushover. the two aren’t mutually exclusive. there isn’t a single time louis takes shit in this story, especially not from harry; he gives back as good as he gets every time. oh! and then he literally saves the entire universe and the execution of that whole thing was his idea alone. i tried really hard to underline how strong-willed and full of grit he is to contrast what others think of him. if you think he’s portrayed as a meek and frail damsel, you missed the point. once again, i feel like we circle back to this misconception of louis being kind of naive and physically small = louis being inferior = louis being female. just do some soul searching.

(i could also get into the fact that for a bunch of people who don’t know these boys personally (no matter how much we like to think we do), this fandom is weirdly opinionated about characterization. especially regarding sexual stuff. i know creating a version for ourselves of who we think these boys are based on things we recognize in ourselves or things we find endearing is part of the comfort with loving them. but that doesn’t really equate to actually knowing them, and besides, this is fan fiction; no one’s opting to write a biography, anyway. being experimental and explorative and putting different aspects of their personalities in different lightings is what makes fic fun. if someone’s writing harmful or one-dimensional characters, that’s one thing, and preferences is again whatever floats your boat. but the “out of character” argument feels mostly really strange to me. this is a bit of a tangent, though.)

lastly, the thing is that i will and i do take it personally if someone insinuates that a character--a gay character--that i, a lesbian, construed is a secret vessel for expressing heterosexual attraction. if someone calls louis a “self-insert”, that does reflect back on me. and to elaborate on that--i don’t particularly love to bring it up, but it's quite disheartening to pour personal PTSD experiences into a character and rly put effort into doing it right and justice and underline growth and healing, just to find out people disregard all that completely in favor of declaring that my self-projection lies in the attraction to a man--which is to say, the one thing i couldn’t possibly feel more estranged from. it's so incredibly tactless. i feel thoroughly whiny at this point but how is that not supposed to make me a little sad?

anyway. none of this is to say that you can’t dislike or critique collision. you can. sometimes ppl don’t like things. but i hope i’m clear about where i’m coming from with my discomfort now. people’s preferences and dislikes are indeed not mine to be hurt by, but these things are. this definitely got unnecessarily long and i probably look like i take myself unbearably seriously (i promise i don’t), so i’m sorry. but at least i've said everything now, and if i encounter this sort of rhetoric in the future, i have something to redirect people to. also anon, none of this is directly pointed at you, i know you mean well. take care <3

#look away this is so long #also @ my non fic mutuals scroll past it pls #it’s not that deep i’m just tired #ask

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infinitecrime · 3 years

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Spoiler-free TFATWS Ep. 1 review:

A strong and promising set-up episode to reintroduce us to these characters and where they’re at now, with plenty of (sometimes a little clunky...) world building, beautiful cinematography and action sequences, and some really likable new characters. Grounded in reality but it still felt big and like everything could kick off at any time. I have some reservations about Sam’s writing so far but got everything I wanted from Bucky’s. 8/10

Spoiler-heavy review:

Plot/Writing:

No big issues with the plot; it was a set up episode so I wasn’t expecting any huge revelations. Everything was very well done.

Sam’s scenes were meant to show the mundane and realistic aspects of being a superhero and the struggles of post-blip life, but at times they felt a little too mundane and repetitive, particularly the bank stuff. I feel like something more substantial could have been done with Sarah to make that plotline more tense and add real stakes - her car getting towed, an eviction notice, a bailiff coming round, for example? We hear that they’re struggling, but we don’t really see it.

There were a couple of moments of exposition that were so clunky and forced that it really made them stand out, because the rest of the script was so smooth and natural. Particularly Torres explaining who the flag smashers were to Sam, Yori suddenly being reminded of his son, and then some of the lines in the loan scene.

The audience isn’t dumb; we can figure these things out for ourselves. For example, the line from Yori about his son could have been cut entirely because it was already obvious. Bucky seeing the photo in the shrine at the end should have been the reveal for anyone who hadn’t figured it out.

In prior movies we’ve had plenty of backstory for Bucky, but no personality, and plenty of personality for Sam, but no backstory. They needed to fill in those gaps in a way that didn’t have us drowning in constant angst with Bucky, or drowning in constant exposition with Sam. I think we were successful with Bucky because he had some light moments, but Sam’s scenes were just a bit too exposition heavy to feel quite natural. I’m forgiving them because it’s a set up episode, but they need to balance this better in the future.

Sam:

Loved Sam’s action scenes, his relationship with Torres, his interactions with members of the public, all the stuff at the Smithsonian with Rhodey, and his banter with his family. Anthony killed the Smithsonian speech scene and his chemistry with Sarah and Torres is great. But most of the reservations I have about this series after the first episode are about Sam’s scenes, even though I liked them overall.

His writing started very strong but then kind of... fizzled out up until the last 2 minutes? Despite Sam being arguably the most charismatic and likeable and emphatic characters in the MCU, his characterisation just didn’t really come across in the latter half, because he seemed a little too out of touch with what Sarah was going through. Having so many scenes of people hero-worshipping him in one short episode definitely didn’t help with this - we put him in a down to earth, everyman setting but didn’t really see him being that everyman that we know he is, especially when we compare him to Bucky who’s living largely incognito. If I had been a first time MCU viewer I would not have been endeared to him or really gotten what his character was about because it seemed a bit all over the place.

I think this could have been fixed by having a darker scene with his family that would have humbled him to the audience and given Anthony an opportunity to flex his range. Like visiting his parents graves, or being unable to connect with his nephew’s because he’s been gone so long they don’t recognise him, or assuring Sarah that everything’s going to be fine with money then looking at an empty bank account and panicking when she was out of the room. Without that scene it just felt like he was brushing Sarah’s reality and struggles off with an “eh, it’ll be fine!” attitude. We got some range from his character at the Smithsonian, but even that felt like it was more about the shield and the symbol than about Sam and Steve, because we weren’t told whether Steve is alive or dead or still in Sam’s life, so we don’t really know what Sam is feeling.

I’m hoping now that the character set up is done and the fight for the shield gets going, this will get better.

Also, while Sam's opening sequence was awesome and really showed the capabilities of the wings and Red Wing and Sam himself, it felt ever so slightly too OP on the tech front. Unless Redwing has semi-sentient AI like Jarvis the way it works is just too unbelievable, and the wings also seemed to be semi-sentient or controlled by his brain somehow? I think they need to figure out exactly how his tech works because right now we’re leaning into ‘magic wings’ territory.

Bucky:

I love that Sam has been trying to reach out to him as mentioned by the therapist. I wish Sam and Rhodey had paused at his exhibit in the Smithsonian or mentioned him to tie the two storylines together more tightly.

This Bucky is my exact Bucky. This is the absolutely perfect characterisation for me. Snarky, funny, smart, kind of a dork, morally grey, riddled by guilt, trying to do the right thing, depths of sadness and rage and loss, barely holding it together, regaining his old sass and personality and memories but forever a changed man. He wasn’t a totally broken damsel in distress, he wasn’t a completely lawful good hero, he was an independent but traumatised man trying his best to heal.

I’m happy that they mentioned his family and the ‘man out of time’ thing was dealt with very well. He’s wasn’t totally lost, just bemused but adapting well. I was worried they were going to sweep it all under the rug because they felt all ground had been covered with Steve, but they didn’t.

It’s also great that they showed he was capable with technology. The Winter Soldier would absolutely have used all kinds of tech, Bucky was always a science nerd, and he lived in high-tech Wakanda for a few years. He’s likely fine with technology, it’s the people and culture he doesn’t understand.

I love him trying to date and being flirty. I will continue to fight the people who say he shouldn’t be dating because he has PTSD - it’s fucking ableist and patronising. Also, he’s been free from HYDRA for almost 5 years (10 if you count the blip). When is he allowed to start dating if not after 5 whole years?!

Sam has previously been the funny one but I think Bucky had better one liners here. I can’t wait until we see both of them together, their chemistry is unmatched.

Seb does all these conflicting emotions and micro-expressions and feelings hidden in the eyes so, so well. You feel it all - the guilt and shame, the desperation to make amends, but also the rage and need for revenge and killer instinct bubbling under the surface that he’s constantly having to fight down. This is a character with a dark side, and no matter how fandom may characterise him, he always has been. Seb really bought the comedy here too.

Bucky having P.W. Hauser in his book was hilarious.

New Characters:

All the new characters felt very real and likeable. Loved the girl in the restaurant (did they actually say her name? I think from the credits she must be Leah), Sarah Wilson, the no-shit taking therapist, Yori, and particularly Torres, who I have a feeling will die but I really love.

I see from the IMDB that Leah is listed as appearing in all 6 episodes, so maybe there will be an actual relationship between her and Bucky? Or she’s a secret super hero or not who she seems? We didn’t actually see Batroc die, meaning he will likely come back too. He’s listed as only having 1 ep on IMDB but so is the therapist and we know she comes back from the promos - maybe IMDB is just wrong, idk.

Other:

The cinematography was really great, some beautiful shots here, especially around Louisiana and the Tunisia stuff.

It’s such a minor thing but I like when people actually get to speak the languages they would speak in that situation, instead of a room full of French people speaking English for the audiences benefit. It feels so much more real.

Even the end credits were beautiful!

#tfatws spoilers #the falcon and the winter soldier #tfatws

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inessencedevided · 4 years

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19, 20, 26!

19. What is the one thing you hate most about your fandom?

I think the all-or-nothing and downright puritan attitude some parts of the fandom exhibit towards whatever iteration of mdzs they prefer.

I've seen novel fans who say that anyone who enjoys cql or prefers is supporting censorship and downright homophobic because of it (expecially people who prefer the lack of sex in the show). The same kind of fans will go into the comment section of switch!wangxian or (god beware) bottom!lwj fics and scream "but in the novel ...!!!!" Or "but canon...!!!". Yeah. That's why fanfic exists ...

And on the other hand I've seen cql fans who somehow cannot see that consent is an explicit theme in mdzs and that maybe the kink exploration in the extras is very much a continuation of this and instead choose to demonise mxtx and anyone who enjoys those scene as rape-apoligists, as if their personal squick has to be morally justified.

I wish people would just take a step back, put on there critical-thinking-cap and recognise that a) there is not one right reading of any text, b) censorship is bad and anyone who enjoys cql for what it is knows that but enjoying stuff while being aware of it's flaws is very much possible and c) you can just dislike stuff without having to get all morally righteous about it.

I get it, when you have a version of a story in your head that you love, you get defensive about it. I just wish people would recognise that that's a very subjective, emotinal response and that you can't force it on others by ascribing either moral purity to it or claiming it as the "one true reading" of the text.

(I think these kinds of fandom purists are a minority, but they are a very vocal minority, so they annoy me ^^)

20. What is the purest ship in the fandom?

Um ... I don't really think there is one? There is so much history between the characters and the clans that i don't think any two characters getting together would be entirely without conflict.

Maybe luo qingyang/her husband? 😅

26. Most shippable character?

Lol, Lan Xichen :D

My dude is absolutely my fandom-bike.

I know that there are ace!lxc interpretations out there and I respect them completely! But, funnily enough, as someone being ace-spec myself, lan xichen is the one character I personally don't see as ace. In fact, in my head, Lan Xichen. Fucks. :D

In canon, it's obviously a bit more difficult because he's a sect leader and has obligations and there's different norms and stuff but in modern aus? I see him either being poly or having multiple partners over the course of his life.

Towards hookups, he's always respectful and kind and honestly, I see him as like, probably sleeping his way through all his acquaintances and somehow being the only person on earth who could do that while still keeping everything harmonious and everyone happy :D

When it comes to romantic relationships, again, I see him either as poly or as having multiple partners over the course of his life. That interpretation is kind of important to me personally because in a fandom that is so centered around this very much mate-for-life/it's-him-or-no-one-else ship that is wangxian, I like to be reminded that that is not the only way for love to be meaningful. Love is still true and meaningful, even if it is not eternal or not singular and I cannot stress enough how important that is to me. Just because the love someone once felt fades away or a relationship changes or turns harmful, does not mean that the love one once felt or feels is less true. Same goes for multiple loves at the same time.

I just feel that, Lan Xichen, especially in contrast to his brother, is the perfect conduit for that massage. (And this is basically why I ship 3zun so hard. Also why i believe that lan xichen can heal and eventually love again post-canon)

Salty asks

#the untamed #mdzs #this turned out longer than i intended #shit i have work to do ^^#lan xichen #fandom discourse #?#i guess?#thank you bee 🥰

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actress4him · 4 years

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Whumptober 2020 - Day 30

I tried another new style for this one. It's not one that I would want to use for a fic any longer than this one, but it was interesting to do and I thought it worked pretty well for this. It certainly allowed me to include a longer span of time without writing a forever long fic. Nothing at all is graphic in this, but you should still check the warnings because there's a lot packed in.

Also, you don't even know how close I came to leaving it on Day 31. But I decided to be nice. You may thank me in the comments.

Read on AO3

Read on FFN

Day 30 (No. 31) - Experiment

Fandom: Voltron: Legendary Defender

Warnings: dehumanization, all of the following is referenced, not shown - human experimentation, muzzles, mild blood, needles, teeth pulling, respiratory distress, seizures, burns, broken bones, electrocution, surgery

DAY ONE

“New specimen, coded KK5738. Male, approximately twenty-one years old. Mother is full-blood Galra, father was full-blood human. The subject takes on the appearance of an Asian male - white skin, black hair, eyes...vary from grey to violet, depending on lighting. Height is approximately five foot eight inches, weight approximately one-hundred-forty pounds.

“We will begin with a general examination.”

DAY TWO

“You can’t do this! You will not get away with this! You people are sick! You’re all going t-nngh hnnghaah!”

“Subject KK5738 continually exhibits aggressive behavior, despite its restraints, including shouting and attempts to bite myself and my assistants. Measures are being taken to prevent this from happening any further.”

DAY THREE

“X-rays show that most of the subject’s internal organs are the same as a full-blood human. However, there appear to be two or more extra organs of unknown function, adjacent to the liver and intestines. Further examination is needed. Exploratory surgery has already been scheduled for next month.”

DAY FOUR

“The subject possesses the most fascinating blood I have ever seen. Results from the first sample have come in, which are detailed in Report 659. Today I will be taking several more samples for further testing.

“I will also be taking skin and hair samples. The skin sample will come from the inner right arm.”

DAY SIX

“I don’t know how you think you’re going to get away with this. I am a U.S. citizen. I am the leader of Voltron! Yo- hhha.”

“Subject KK5738 still shows defiance whenever given the opportunity to speak, though it seems to have weakened since the first day. This is probably due to the amount of time it has spent immobile.

“Currently its typical mouth guard has been changed out for a surgical gag so that we may extract teeth without being bitten. We will also be testing its jaw strength.”

DAY NINE

“That was the last injection.”

“Thank you. As will be detailed in Report...ah, 668, Subject KK5738 has now received the first twelve of the substance injections that we plan to test. Substances one, four, and seven caused no noticeable reaction. Substances...two, three, eight, and ten caused mild external reactions, as detailed in the report. Substances five and nine’s reactions were internal, monitored via MRI. Number nine we did have to administer an antidote to prevent further damage. Substance eleven caused the subject to vomit extensively. Substance number six had the most dramatic reaction, garnering the use of an epipen, and it appears that substance twelve will be similar. I’m seeing signs of respiratory distress already, and -”

“He’s seizing.”

“Alright, go ahead and give it. So the subject showed the most sensitivity to substances six and twelve. Specific symptoms will be listed in Report 668.”

DAY THIRTEEN

“Daily monitoring of the various wounds created on Subject KK5738’s thighs. The superficial cut through the first layer of skin has nearly disappeared. The one millimeter deep cut has completely scabbed. The five millimeter cut has finished sealing up, but has not yet started forming a scab. The two centimeter cut is still open, with no visible change.

“The first degree burn is still peeling slightly, but the redness is no longer noticeable. The second degree burn is possibly slightly less red than yesterday, but the blisters have not changed. The third degree burn shows no visible signs of healing.

“Once everything is fully healed, tests will be performed to ascertain the damage to nerve and muscle in these areas. Unfortunately, it does not appear at this time that the subject has any accelerated healing abilities that could be useful for advancing our technology.”

DAY FOURTEEN

“Subject KK5738’s oxygen deprivation test showed that it can last thirty seconds longer than the average human male before losing consciousness. Further tests will have to be performed to determine why.”

DAY SEVENTEEN

“Aaahngh!”

“We have just concluded our breakage tests for Subject KK5738’s bones. This included a finger, rib, radius, and femur. The exact pressure needed for each bone will be recorded in Report 682. Bones will be reset, and healing will be monitored.”

DAY TWENTY-FIVE

“So far the subject has responded well to the nutrient drip that it has been on since the beginning. Starting today we will be removing one of the nutrients...ah...protein, so that we can study the long-term effects. In a human, we would see swelling of the abdomen and extremities, as well as muscle weakness, brittle hair, and ridges in the fingernails. Maybe one day I’ll be able to run these same tests on a full-blood Galra for comparison. For now, we’ll have to see what this hybrid can tell us.”

DAY TWENTY-EIGHT

“The subject seems to have calmed, or perhaps weakened, to the point where the mouth guard is no longer necessary. We will, of course, keep it on standby in case this changes, or we require something to muffle its screams.”

DAY TWENTY-NINE

“Please...please stop...I don’t...I don’t want it.”

“We are applying electrode pads to key points on the subject’s body so that we can proceed with our electric shock test.”

“Please, I just...I wanna go home.”

DAY THIRTY-ONE

“Today we are monitori-...A-admiral! Sir!”

“At ease, Doctor.”

“What a pleasant surprise! To what do we owe the honor?”

“The hybrid specimen, of course. You’ve had it for a month now, and I’ve been keeping up with your reports religiously. I decided it was high time I come see it for myself.”

“Of course, of course. Well, here it is. Quite the specimen, is it not?”

“Well, it’s like you said...pretty much looks like an Asian kid.”

“True. But as I’m sure you’ve seen in my reports, there is so much that is un-human about it. I honestly can’t believe it got away with passing for human for as long as it did.”

“I...am human. And you...you people are monsters.”

“Hm. I see you’re letting it talk.”

“Yes, sir. It seemed unwise to keep the mouth guard on it for such an extended period of time if it could be helped. I’ve been tempted to put it back on, to be sure, but I imagine that after a while of seeing that talking doesn’t get it anything, it will stop.”

“You’re just as bad as the Empire...you know that? You can’t...keep me here forever. Someone will find me.”

“And just who is it that you think is even looking for you, hm?”

“Admiral, sir, I -”

“No no, don’t worry. I think this could help you with your little talking problem. Lieutenant, pull up the article for me.”

“Voltron is looking for me. My team...they’ll find me.”

“Your team thinks you’re dead. The whole world thinks you’re dead. Here, see this? ‘Black Paladin Killed in Crash to Earth’. This article is from a month ago. No one is looking for you because you didn’t make it to the hospital alive. Your Galra mother identified your body. You were cremated. Your funeral was two weeks ago. It was quite the touching ceremony, you should have seen it.”

“It appears you have sent KK5738 into shock.”

“Maybe it won’t be quite so talkative anymore.”

DAY FORTY-FIVE

“I must admit I have been looking forward to this day since first setting eyes on Subject KK5738’s X-rays. Currently we are prepping the subject for surgery by cleaning the torso where the incisions will be made. I’ll be starting with a Y-incis-...pardon me. What is going on out there?”

“Everybody step back! Hands up where we can see them!”

“What in the -...who are you, and what do you think you’re doing in here? This is a high level security facility -”

“I am Commander Takashi Shirogane, and these are the Paladins of Voltron. Now drop the scalpel and step back away from our friend.”

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9r7g5h · 4 years

Text

Her Little Garthy

Fandom: Fantasy High

Rating: K

Genre: General

Summary: In which a previous Ayda gains her child.

Words: 2097

Disclaimer: I do not own Fantasy High.

AN: So, Garthy specifically stated that they were from Zajiri celestials, and they’re a half orc. While Ayda could be their bio mother, Ayda has also said in her notes that she hasn’t been in love with anyone for at least the last three lifetimes, spanning the last 150 years. Garthy is nowhere near that old, and Ayda is half phoenix, not related to the Zajiri at all, while Garthy also exhibits no bird-like features. So, best conclusion is adopted families and with the cuteness of Jawbone adopting Adaine, this went ahead and popped out as well.

Ayda Aguefort legitimately wasn’t used to people being inside of her library. Other than Roland, who she had hired many, many years ago as a young man, it was common for her to pass her many days reading and writing and studying without seeing a single other soul. Silence, broken only by the sound of her quill on paper and the rustle of pages, the occasional thunk as she dropped a book back into place, her hands getting a bit too old for the larger of them.

It was nice, in a way. She was old, early fifties by her count, as inaccurate as it was, since she didn’t have an exact date of her last reincarnation. The person she had hired, according to her notes, to take care of her had skipped out when she was young, leaving Roland for the task he was woefully unprepared for. But he had taught her to read and write and use the magic within her, all the things her absent father should have done, so she was grateful, to him and for the silence. She knew she was off, knew something about her seemed strange to others, and so she accepted and enjoyed the silence for what it was.

Except, now, there was an orc woman standing in her library. Clearly suffering from exhaustion, weakened by some unknown affliction Ayda would have to study later, and, most obvious and concerning, coated in blood both her own and not. Her clothes were tattered, clearly showing signs of the fight she had most likely been in just a short while before, especially since her sword was still dripping blood onto the wood of Ayda’s library.

She was also cradling an infant in her other arm, another thing that intrigued Ayda, but that would have to wait for further examination.

“Please,” the orc woman said, holding out the infant to Ayda. “Please, take her.”

Ayda had had very little interaction with children in this life, though a previous one who had made children of various species their subject of investigation had left incredibly detailed notes. So she knew how to cradle the child’s head with her elbow, keeping the infant face up so it could breathe, the runes on her arms flaring slightly to produce the extra heat something so small would most certainly need.

It was so tiny. Fascinating.

“Do you require assistance?” Ayda asked once she had made sure the child was secure, her mind content that said task was complete. “I am not a healer, but I can escort you to-“

“No,” the orc woman said, even as she unsteadily lowered herself to the floor. “No, please, just, let’s just stay inside. No one will bother us here.”

Ayda wanted to ask what the orc woman meant, but there was also part of her that could take a very well-educated guess as to what she was talking about. Ayda was considered weird here on the Leviathan, an anomaly, a magic user amongst all of the pirates that focused on swords and their primitive miniature cannons. Sure, there were some pirates that knew a bit of magic, enough to call up a wind to fill their sails, or those druids who were trying to grow a garden on the north western side of the city, but nothing like her.

There was nothing like her anywhere.

Except, to an extent, the infant she was now holding in her arms.

It was clear the child was a celestial, probably from one of the angelic fiends that inhabited orcish religions. Zajiri, if she had to take a guess, though she would have to reexamine the child and compare the brief mental notes she had taken to the books she knew she had, second floor, twelfth row on the left side of the library. Maybe she could convince the mother to let her borrow the child for a bit, later, when she wasn’t slowly leaking a large puddle of blood.

“Are you sure you do not require assistance? I am available to help if you require it.” For, of course, a fair and reasonable price, but Ayda had been taught to not bring that up when someone was in obvious danger. It was rude, and could potentially hold up events that needed to happen at a quicker pace.

Still, the orc woman shook her head.

“No, I’m alright,” the woman said. She took a few deep breathes, placed her hand over her lower stomach, and the puddle of blood stopped growing as a low light glowed from her hand. A healer, then. “I just needed somewhere safe to rest for a bit.” She stopped for a moment, looked at Ayda. “I’ve heard what you can do. What kind of person you are. Figured you wouldn’t hurt a baby, and could maybe help ward off those who would.”

Ayda gave a jerky nod of her head, adjusting her arm as her shoulder started to feel sore. She disliked violence, though she was well versed in quite a number of spells to protect herself and her library as necessary. She had actually just been working on one a short while before, to help with the unraveling of someone’s very essence. A work in progress, but it showed promise.

“Your child is a celestial.” A statement, though perhaps with the slightest bit of a question behind it.

“As are you,” the orc woman said back, giving a small shrug. “Don’t know what you are,” she added, “but mine at least isn’t a bird.”

Ayda gave a squawk of laughter, finding humor in the orc woman’s statement, she following with a chuckle of her own shortly after.

“It’s funny, because I’m only part bird, and your child doesn’t seem to have any bird within them,” Ayda explained, the orc woman giving a nod at her explanation. No other words, but still the nod made her feel warm inside, at least for a moment. “Is that why you came here, because of our shared heritage from the celestial realms? If you’re looking for information on your child’s legacy, I could be of some service.”

A shake of the head, the orc woman’s previous brief smile disappearing. “You’re strong, right?”

Another jerky nod from Ayda.

“Strong enough to protect a baby, if anyone should try to harm it?”

Another jerky nod, though this one with confusion.

“I am not sure why anyone would try to harm a child, especially in the presence of a wizard, but if you need my help keeping this one safe, I would be happy to help. Do you require this assistance?”

“Good,” the orc woman said. After another moment of sitting, she forced herself to rise, Ayda rising with her, not even aware of when she had sat on the floor to be face to face with this strange orc woman, the child still in her hands. “Look,” the orc woman continued, stretching out the soreness in her muscles that remained even after the healing, “there some asshole out there, James Whitclaw or some shit, who wants to eat my baby’s brains. Kidnapped me from my ship when the word got out that I was birthing something special, thinks it might help him become king or something someday. I’ll be damned before I let that bastard touch that skull, but I’m badly outnumbered. I won’t ask you to come with me, but no one will try to take my baby from you here. Will you watch her until I come back?”

Ayda paused for a moment, looking down at the child in her arms. Sleeping soundly, maybe a few hours old, still wrinkly and that weird newborn orcish green before it settled into its permanent shade.

“Will you allow me to research your child during this time, until you return for it?”

The orc woman snorted and nodded her agreement. “Thought you might say that, from what I’ve heard of ya.”

“Then by the seven seas and the twelve stars and the nine hells, I will care for your child as my own until you have returned to claim it.” Ayda’s runes flared as she spoke her oath, the orc woman satisfied with that response.

“Let me see her real quick then,” the orc woman said, holding out her arms. Ayda was careful handing the child over, watching curiously as the orc woman sniffed the infant’s head, held it close to her chest, and placed a quick kiss on its forehead, causing it to coo and murmur in its sleep.

A brief pang of jealousy, that Ayda quickly forgot about as the child was returned to her care.

“Garthy,” the orc woman said as she reached the door, not turning back. “The babe’s name is Garthy O’Brien.” And with that the orc woman was gone, sword on her should, prepared to go make the world a safer place for her child.

Ayda leaned down as the door closed shut and sniffed the infant’s head, her eyebrow raising as she smelled the strange scent the newborn gave off. Not the various odors one expected from a child, pleasant but not overly so. Fascinating.

“Well, Garthy,” Ayda said as she headed towards the stairs, shifting the child in her arms to a more comfortable position, “I have promised your mother that I would care for you as if you were my own. While I have never had children, as far as my knowledge of my past lives allows me, you are now legally mine until your mother returns. An hour? Maybe two? That should be enough time for me to study you, get a sense of your origins.”

At some point during her statement, one of Garthy’s large eye slid open, looking up at Ayda with sleep and curiosity in equal measures. Curious pupils, a wonderful color, just hinting at the mystic within the child, just waiting to be found.

Ayda leaned down and kissed Garthy on the forehead, the child quickly lulled back to sleep by the warmth of her runes, safe and warm until its mother returned.

***

Ayda Augefort legitimately wasn’t used to people being inside of her library. Other than Roland, who she had hired many, many years ago as a young man, it was common for her to pass her many days reading and writing and studying without seeing a single other soul. Other than, of course, her child, Garthy. A health ten years old, if she had to guess, though half orc aasimars weren’t her specialty, they were happy to spend their time sitting with her in her library, handing her the books that her hands were too old for, taking notes for when her eyes were beginning to fail her.

She hadn’t been the best of mothers, of course. She had been woefully unprepared for the challenges of raising a child, especially one that had been left with her by an orc woman in the middle of the night, once for the child to be left for what Ayda had to presume was the rest of their lives. The orc woman had never come back, and knowing the Leviathan and a smattering of statistics, it was highly unlikely she ever would.

But Ayda had taught Garthy how to read and write and how to use the magic within them, had learned to cook more then just a basic sandwich to feed her new child, and had even considered reaching out to Arthur to let him know about his new grandchild, though she had lost the nerve just before she had. So far she had given them all of the love that she could, in her own strange way of showing it, and Garthy was happy and healthy and seemed to be doing alright.

And by the seven seas and the twelve stars and the nine hells, until the day her next reincarnation was to come, she would make sure that was the case. She loved her little child, the small creature that had so quickly grown from the squalling infant, her little Garthy, and even in her next life, she would make sure that Ayda loved them too.

(And she would, even without the notes reminding her to love Garthy with all her heart, to love her child she couldn’t remember, Ayda would love them. Because Garthy would teach her how to reach and write and use the magic within her, and would love her with all of their heart, and even before Ayda could do so, as Garthy picked her newborn form out of the ashes, Ayda would love them.)

#Fantasy High #Ayda Aguefort #Garthy O'brien #Dimension 20 #fanfiction

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ladyfawkes · 4 years

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New Dream/Angelic Dream - New Dream Appreciation Week - Day 4 | Hurt/Comfort

While I don’t have a specific Eugene/Rapunzel New Dream story, this one is still very New Dream-centric in its own way. Some may have seen it before but most have not. It’s very personal and dear to me and I kind of considered it appropriate, considering we’re coming upon a certain anniversary in just three days.....

“When Eugene called Rapunzel Sunshine, I felt that…”

When I began getting deeper into Tangled fandom, it wasn’t until around later October 2019. I was feeling a real hankering for more of Eugene Fitzherbert’s singing voice. Confession 2: Until Autumn 2019, I had NO IDEA that Zachary Levi had voiced Flynn Rider, both speaking AND singing!! At the time, the main thing that drew me to Flynn was his singing voice. I never forgot that. Like so many others, I fell in love with Tangled’s soundtrack and specially with “I See the Light” and “I’ve Got a Dream”, etc.

Confession 3: I’ve had a crush on Zachary Levi ever since the first episode of Chuck. Even though Chuck’s social and emotional insecurities are a rather enormously huge humorous part of the plot, the way Zac portrayed that anxiety and other types of raw emotions were real. He possesses a markedly rare ability to elicit laughter and tears within the same scene, and sometimes within the very same moment of a scene. While it’s an exceptional gift to exhibit that ability, it nearly always means that underneath it all, the reason why you can perceive this type of emotion so plainly from any given actor is because they’ve experienced those feelings on a personal level in their private lives. Nobody ever told me this, it’s something I learned through observation. It’s true of writers too…and composers. The best way to telegraph emotion through a given medium to someone else is often by having initially having experienced those emotions for yourself. It wouldn’t be until years after Chuck began that Zac would feel comfortable enough to share his mental health history with his fans…and we’d begin to learn just how deep he truly is.

With all of this in mind, I was perusing YouTube with the intent of finding more of “Flynn Rider’s singing voice” and imagine my shock & delight when a whole bunch of Tangled the Series and Tangled Before Ever After songs showed up in my search!!! Then I Looked up the fan wikia only to discover that it was none other than our dear Zachary Levi who had voiced Eugene Fitzherbert!!! I got positively thrilled and was already on Cloud Nine before I’d even begun watching it. Despite Disney’s, uh, thorny history with spinoffs, I couldn’t help but be excited as I learned most of the original cast had returned as well!!

I queued up Tangled Before Ever After and was instantly transported, instantly fell in love. I truly did not expect to be as drawn to Eugene as I was….in the film version, I wasn’t so sure about him….but I gravitated toward him immediately in the series. At first, I really didn’t know why. The feeling seemed familiar somehow and again….I didn’t know why. I couldn’t figure it out.

As I watched the first few episodes, I was constantly live-gushing (that’s akin to live-tweeting, only over Messenger instead) about the show with my friend Samara as I watched; Sammeh is also a Tangled superfan. I was continually talking about how it was the Disney’s best spinoff I had ever seen, how I was shocked that they cast SO MANY original cast members, original songwriters, etc. I can unequivocally state I haven’t loved an animated series this much in my life, even as a child. Then I was describing how much I could not get over the healthy, loving relationship portrayed between Eugene and Rapunzel. As I sat describing it, I suddenly said, “Oh my gosh. Sammeh…..” And it caused me to freeze. Even though Sam had known my former fiancé just as long as we’d known each other, I didn’t know if Sam would think I was nuts for suggesting that certain aspects of Eugene’s personality reminded me of Anthony. After a long pause, I typed as much to her, “I don’t know if I should say this to you…..” yet I needn’t have worried, because Sam completed my thought for me: “You’re gonna say he’s like Anthony.” I was so surprised I said, “YES!!! How did you know I was gonna say that?!”

”Easy. Because I’ve seen it too.”

In spite of myself, I wept after she said that. So I wasn’t just imaging it. I’m getting teary-eyed now just thinking about it.

The love between Eugene and Rapunzel reminds me of the love I had with my Anthony. Anthony was not intimidated by my inner strength, we took turns rescuing each other, he was willing to listen to me talk for hours and hours and hours and I did the same with him, we took turns forever teasing one another, we couldn’t ever stay angry with each other, we always talked things out. He was forever encouraging my talents and dreams. We hung out with an unlikely, rag-tag group of friends. And especially the way Eugene caresses Rapunzel’s face, kisses her forehead….and spontaneously says _the most heart-melting romantic things….._that was just like my Anthony. And of course, he called me “The light in my life….My Sunshine.”

Now….while Anthony didn’t die while rescuing me from an enemy, his was a sacrifice of a different kind….for shortly before he passed, he was experiencing far too much mental strife….never once did he self-disclose this, though….and unfortunately, we didn’t learn until after the fact. It became apparent he felt his only way out was to take his own life.

Needless to say, I crawled into a very dark place after he died. I tried very hard not to….but over the prior 18 months I’d already lost so very much. I’d lost a job, loss of place to live, for months, I was being literally starved by my abusive-prior-ex-boyfriend ….I just shriveled up inside due to self-doubt, self-hatred, and I couldn’t speak about anything.

Even from 1800 miles away at the time, Anthony managed to be the one person to draw it all out of me. (I was estranged from most family at the time – with good reason) and I told him everything….and he listened to all of it, never interrupting, never judging, never being anything but his amazing self. Somehow, after two years of friendship and listening to one another, Anthony had fallen in love with me….even though all of the garbage I told him. To this day, I do not know what he saw in me. But something inside knew that if I could just strive to put good things surrounding that fateful date, its anniversary would lose its sting and I could heal and live the way Anthony would’ve wanted me to live. Although I’d described some of the lowlights, I’ve definitely had moments in my life that have filled me with much love and light.

I’ve been so very scared to type all of this out, put it all out there, for fear of being…..judged. Ridiculed. You know how the internet can be……naturally there’s a lot more to this story that I would like to share with you yet this has already become prohibitively lengthy.

The whole point is to say that it’s been nearly 14 long years since I last heard Anthony’s light sweet southern drawl. And through the magical medium of Rapunzel’s Tangled Adventure, this show effectively allowed me the heartwarming and bittersweet chance to feel a small part of his love within my life again. I don’t know quite how it happened….but happen it did….right when I needed it. Anthony and I were very flirty and silly and ridiculous as a couple, just the way you would expect two twitter-pated people to be….the way Eugene calls Rapunzel “Sunshine” and caresses her cheek….the way he looks at her ….with his heart is full of so much love that it touches his warm brown eyes….those things remind me most of Anthony. Hopefully you can see why it’s been so difficult to, ah, self-disclose this information about myself.

So…..thank you for that from the bottom of my heart, Disney, Chris Sonnenburg, Shane Prigmore, Tara Nicole Whitaker, Tom Caulfield, Stephen Sandoval, Zachary Levi, Mandy Moore, Eden Espinoza, James Iglehart, Jeremy Jordan, Kevin Kleisch, Alan Menken, Glenn Slater, Anna Lencioni, and anybody else whom I’ve missed…..

#New Dream appreciation week #new dream week #hurt / comfort #personal story #personal anecdotes

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writing-of-a-british-bitch · 5 years

Text

A Night At The Opera-Chapter 3

Fandom: Queen/Borhap

Specified gender: Female

Pairing: Brian May x reader/ John Deacon x reader

TW: brian being possessive of whats not his, adam CONTINUES TO BE A DICK, blood, sickness, vomit, swearing

Genre: Horror ig?? ( based on phantom Of the opera)

Series: A Night At The Opera

Requests: CLOSED

Masterlist

By the time morning broke a few hours later, (Y/N) had learnt the entire setlist for Queen. Brian was an incredible teacher, more so than she admittedly thought he would be, and had been extremely patient as she fumbled with the fretboard and the strings. But he was hesitant to get too close to her after she had pulled his mask off. Strangely, (Y/N) had started to feel bad about it, the guilt monster clawing at her insides. Brian had tried his very best to forgive and forget the situation, but how could he? That mask was his shelter from the outside world. His shield from the venomous words of humankind. And she'd yanked it off, without a second thought of how exposing it would be for him. How hurtful. How terrifying it was. But despite it all, he still agreed to teach her, and teach her he did. Her shaky, insecure playing had slowly ebbed into something more confident, even if she didn't necessarily feel that way herself. After Brian's pushing and prodding, her fingers slowly started to glide along the fretboard, instead of stopping and starting as they had before. Her playing was pure, in tune and practically perfect in all ways it could be. Well, for a beginner, that is. To say he was impressed with the techie was an understatement, and he knew that she was already miles and leaps ahead of Adam. Brian had to get the others to see it. To see how incredible she was compared to that repulsive gargoyle with a much too heavy hand. If he could find a way for Freddie to see her in action. While she ran through the songs and covers that Queen performed on stage, Brian flicked through his brain for ideas, when it struck him. Adam wouldn't go down without a fight, he knew that much. So, maybe Brian would have to make him.

"Bri?" (Y/N)'s gentle voice pulled him from his train of thought, wordlessly glancing up at her. She gave him a wide smile "What was that song you were playing earlier? On the stage?"

"Just something I wrote myself, my dear. Nothing interesting, I'm afraid," Brian chuckled, his hair bobbing as he strolled over to her, still holding his Red Special. She looked up at him, admiration shining in her eyes.

"Can you play it for me?" She requested, shyly, instantly looking down afterwards, slightly embarrassed by her request, however, Brian just shot her a soft smile, even though she couldn't quite see it, she could make out the squinting of his eyes. He nudged her over and sat beside her, taking his guitar from her softly. Their fingers brushed in the exchange, causing a blush to rise to (Y/N)'s cheeks. Brian positioned his Red Special before placing his fingers onto the strings and beginning to strum. His technique was so much better than hers, and she couldn't help but watch him in wonder, his fingers dancing across the fretboard like it was nothing. But the song lasted a few minutes before coming to a close, much sooner than she would've liked herself.

"It's been finished for a while. I've tried placing lyrics to it but nothing I write seems to quite work with it, especially with that solo," Brian confessed, frustration lacing his words. (Y/N) pondered for a second, running over the tune in her before looking back to the curly-haired man.

"I think I might have just the thing. But they're on a piece of paper in Deaks' dressing room," She offered timidly, ducking her head as Brian tilted his head to look at her.

"Fantastic, you can bring them tomorrow. Or later tonight, I should probably say," (Y/N) face contorted in confusion at his response, watching as he passed her the Red Special back and got up from the couch that she found had been hidden behind one of the black veils.

"L-Later?" She asked, but Brian continued forward, towards his paper theatre and waxwork figures. He took the Adam shaped one and snapped it in half, looking down at it in disgust. Slowly, (Y/N) got up, propping the Red Special against the couch, and approached him while his back was still turned. He was tense and she was worried for him.

And for herself.

"Yes, unless my company has been so appalling that you no longer wish to return, "Brian sent an arched eyebrow in her direction, but stopped abruptly, breath hitching in his throat at how close she had gotten to him. So close that she could feel her breath on his face.

Oh, how he missed breathing. A part of him wished he hadn't taken it for granted. The warmth of her breath sent him reeling, practically giving her heart eyes. Brian couldn't drag his eyes away, and neither could (Y/N). He spotted a ghost of a smile on her lips and knew his heart would be pounding now. If it could. Against his will, his eyes dragged down to her lips quickly. Almost impossible to pull them away. Her lips looked so warm and inviting. But he snapped back to his senses and looked over to the boat, occasionally rocking in the water. (Y/N) noticed the way he seemed to back away suddenly and frowned a little. She couldn't place what he was thinking. He had placed a barrier beyond his orbs. Obstructed anyone from being able to tell how he felt. She couldn't exactly say that she blamed him. The behaviour he exhibited when she pulled the mask off told her all she needed to know. The girl only wished that she was able to pull all the pain, that he had maintained over the years, away. But he would never let her close enough to heal him, she understood that.

"Your company is far from appalling," Was all (Y/N) could utter, entranced by Brian, like a child meeting their favourite superhero. Brian glanced down at her, smiling sweetly, but instantly regretted it and looked away again. He couldn't afford to get lost in her eyes. He had to take her back. He had to.

"Come, your friends and that idiot will arrive soon. Wouldn't want them thinking something dreadful had happened to you, now would we?" Brian's words were perfectly innocent but the hungry look he'd given her last time they'd met haunted her, and caused a shiver to run up her spine. Once again feeling small. Brian realised her sudden uncomfortableness and motioned to the boat, still fastened to the wooden peg. Reluctantly, (Y/N) walked over to the boat and climbed into it, sitting down silently as Brian unhooked the rope. He waded through the water, though it barely reached his knees, and clambered into the vessel. And without another word, he cruised off, the metal gating opening with a loud rhythmic clanging.

When (Y/N) arrived back in the theatre, it was nearing 6 AM. The boys would be there at 11, knowing how Roger tended to oversleep and how Freddie would fret over his appearance for at least an hour. Deaky would fuss over everything, like a dad about to go on holiday, and Adam, well, fuck knows what Adam did that made him so late. He probably wouldn't arrive until 2 PM, 1, if they were lucky. She wandered around the theatre, eyeing the empty seats, knowing they'd be almost full later. Because, despite Adam's tasteless playing, Freddie's intriguing stage persona pulled everyone back. Roger's charming playing and golden locks. Deaky's bopping and dancing on stage. They triumphed over everything.

As she looked around, she allowed herself to look up at box five. Something told her that he'd be standing there tonight. What would Deaky say if he found out? He would be furious. No, he wouldn't. Deaky never got mad. Not at her. He was too gentle for that. He would be devastated. A creak from behind her caused (Y/N) spin around, terribly paranoid all of a sudden. Lucille observed her with curious eyes, a small, slightly guilty, glint in them.

"Good morning, I wasn't expecting you here so early," Something in the way Lucille spoke made it very clear that she was very aware of why she was there so early. She knew more about the theatre ghost than she let on.

"Oh-oh yeah I just needed to set some stuff up, so I came early. Y'know, to avoid Adam's shouting," (Y/N) attempted to lie, but the way she fiddled with her fingers and glanced around anxiously gave her away. Lucille raised an eyebrow at her response before silently brushing past her, going to check one of the wires, tucking it out of the way of the stage. Something (Y/N) had failed to notice.

"You must tread carefully. He sees everything and knows everything that happens in this place," Lucille stated as she taped the wire back. (Y/N)'s head whipped around to look at the older woman, eyes narrowed slightly.

"How do you know that? How do you know him?" She asked, almost demanding Lucille for an answer, walking as close to her as possible. Lucille gave her no response, instead, waltzing over to (Y/N), who took two steps back.

"Because I've seen this before. I know what he's like, you don't. As much as you think you do, you don't, I assure you of that," Lucille replied sharply, staring down at her. Without another word, (Y/N) nodded, eyes wide and fearful, and hiked back to the backstage area. The girl took comfort in Deaky's dressing room, curling up on the couch. It was only then that she realised how drained she was, eyes slowly slipping shut. But she hardly slept, haunted by the thought of the theatre ghost.

"Adam? Is everything alright?" (Y/N) knocked lightly on the bathroom door. All she heard was a groan from behind the door. "Can I come in?"

The door clicked, unlocking, and the girl slowly pushed the door open. Adam was sat beside the toilet, eyes sunken and skin pale. Reluctantly, she placed the back of her hand to Adam's forehead. Fuck, he was burning up. Immediately, (Y/N) rushed back to Roger's dressing room, grabbing one of the hand towels he kept in there, to mop his sweat after a show. She sprinted back to the bathroom, running the rowel under cold water. The cold towel was pressed to his forehead, tenderly. Just as she pushed it against his forehead, he turned his head into the toilet bowl and spilt his insides. (Y/N) winced at the smell and noise, but wiped his mouth with some toilet paper when he came back up. Adam weakly flushed the toilet and turned back to her.

"Thanks, at least you have the common sense to help me," Adam groaned, and (Y/N) couldn't help but glare at him. God, he was a dick. He turned his face away, to look out of the opened bathroom door and her glare turned to widened eyes. On his neck, there were two small circular wounds, a tiny trail of blood leaking from them both. There was only one place they could have come from. And now she feared for her life.

"(Y/N), have you seen my- oh shit," Roger came stumbling to the doorway, dressed ready for the show. Fuck! The show! It was meant to take place in ten minutes! Roger raced inside, crouching beside the pair. "Adam, are you okay?"

"Of course, I'm fine, I'm fine. I'll be better when we've just gotten the show over and done with," Adam answered, but Roger scrunched his face up.

"There's no way you can play. You're too sick," (Y/N) interrupted, removing the cold cloth from his forehead for a moment to check if his temperature had gone up or down.

"I'm fine, you dumb bi-" Adam didn't get to finish his sentence before he was curling over the toilet again. Roger and (Y/N) exchanged a look behind his back. He wasn't playing. No matter how much he argued.

"Stay here, mate, we'll be back in a minute," Roger told Adam before grasping (Y/N)'s hand and pulling her out of the room and shutting the bathroom door behind him "We're gonna have to cancel the show."

"I know, he can't play. He'll vomit on stage," (Y/N) agreed, just as Freddie and Deaky wandered over, chatting animatedly. However, the boys soon noticed the look of disappointment on Roger and (Y/N)'s face.

"Everything alright, dears?" Freddie asked hesitantly. Deaky looked at his girlfriend in concern, noticing the worry in her eyes.

"Adam can't play, he's sick," Roger sighed "We have to cancel the show."

"For fuck's sake! Please tell me that you're pulling my leg, Rog, please," Freddie exclaimed, running a hand through his hair, a deep frown finding its way to his face. Deaky swore under his breath, instantly beginning to pace.

"We wish we were," (Y/N) responded, shooting the band a sympathetic look.

"Is there anyone who can play the guitar just for tonight?" Deaky asked, racking his brain for other solutions, playing with the bottom of his shirt nervously.

"No, unless there's a ghost here that just so happens to know how to play the guitar," Roger snapped sarcastically, stress evident on his face. (Y/N) walked over to her boyfriend, who looked panicked and damn near tears. She took his hand into her own and brought it to her lips, kissing the skin fondly. He gave her a miniscule smile, kissing her cheek quickly.

"(Y/N) could play tonight, Mr Mercury," Lucille's voice made the group jump, startled, and turn to look at her. (Y/N)'s breath hitched in her throat. She couldn't play, she'd only just started! She may be a natural talent, but that didn't mean she could perform in front of tons of people!

"You play the guitar?" Roger's head tilted in confusion, as did the rest of the band. Deaky squeezed her hand.

"I mean, yeah, I do, but I-" (Y/N) started tensely, looking down to her shoes.

"Fantastic! You must play for us tonight, dear!" Freddie commanded, a gleeful smile returning. Roger grinned, silently cheering in delight.

"Fred-"

"(Y/N)," She looked up at the softness of Deaky's voice. His gentle touch on her skin "Please. We need you."

A sigh escaped (Y/N)'s lips and after a second of tense silence, she nodded, resulting in cheering from the three boys and a nod of approval from Lucille.

The lights on the stage dimmed, and applause echoed into the theatre. The boys made their way onstage with their instruments, but (Y/N) couldn't help but hold back, pausing before she ran on stage. The lights came on and everyone sat in the audience screamed, but there were confusing murmurs upon the lack of a guitarist. Deaky looked over at her and shot her a reassuring smile. So with a deep breath, she ran on stage, waving awkwardly at the audience. Immediately, (Y/N) was pulled into the music, playing the beginning chords of the first song on the setlist. Her fingers dashed along the fretboard, somehow managing to keep in time with the rest of the band. There was a surge of adrenaline that ran through her, filling her with joy and excitement and before she knew it, the song came to a close.

"Okay, my darlings, are you enjoying yourselves?" Freddie nearly yelled into the microphone and the audience cheered. "Good! We are too! However, I'd like to introduce you to a lovely friend of mine. Our guitarist for tonight! (Y/N) (L/N)"

The audience nearly deafened her with their screams. Everyone was clapping and hollering. (Y/N) grinned and bowed playfully, earning a laugh from the boys on stage, though she could barely hear them over the audience.

"Isn't she fabulous, lovies? I knew you'd love her, almost as much as we do!" Freddie chuckled "Alright, dears, time for a new little number, written by yours truly, liar!"

She barely realised that the show had finished until Roger was leading her off stage. As soon as everyone was out of sight, the boys laughed joyously, pulling her into a tight hug.

"(Y/N) you were brilliant!"

"Absolutely fantastic!"

"Perfect, my love!" (Y/N) could barely think over all of the compliments and the rush of performing. She swayed slightly, beginning to feel dizzy. That was until Adam wobbled over, looking dishevelled.

"She was fucking shit!" He mumbled, a bit of vomit hanging on the corner of his mouth. (Y/N) just shook her head, knowing she'd never be able to please him. Lucille made her way over, each step calculated and sure.

"Alright gentlemen, come on, let the girl have her space. (Y/N) I'd think it best if you were to be alone for a while. Just to catch your breath," Lucille suggested and the girl merely nodded, tired from her first show and, if Adam had anything to do with it, which he had to do with everything, her last. Roger suddenly tensed a little, giving Lucille a wary look.

"I'll come with you. I need to talk to her," Roger said, leaving no room for argument. Lucille only let out an annoyed breath of air, before beginning to walk to Deaky's dressing room. Where (Y/N) spent most of her time. When they reached the room, Lucille walked in with Roger and (Y/N) close behind. She picked up a rose, a black ribbon tied to it, and handed it to (Y/N).

"He's pleased with you," She whispered in the girl's ear, then leaving the room and closing it behind her.

"Something isn't right with that woman. I don't trust her," Roger grumbled, using his shirt to wipe the sweat off his face. But (Y/N) wasn't listening. She only examined the flower in her hand, admiring the black silk tied to the green stem and blood red petals. "Are you alright, love? You look as if you've seen a ghost."

"The crowd frightened me. But I loved it. I'm just exhausted- I need some time to myself, just like Lucille said," (Y/N) concluded, snapping back to her senses.

"Well, okay. Don't let the crowd's frighten you, (Y/N/N), they loved you, and I could tell you loved them. I'll leave you alone for a bit, yeah?" Roger asked gently, kissing her forehead.

"Yes, please, Rog. Thank you. I'll talk to you later," She smiled, tiredly, and Roger gave her forehead another kiss before walking out, closing the door. The rose spun between (Y/N)'s fingertips. And she found herself thinking of Brian. The more she thought about him, the more he scared her. He injured Adam, made him sick. Just so she could perform. He was sick. Twisted.

The lights flickered for a moment. Then they shut off.

And (Y/N) felt her blood run cold.

TAGS: OPEN

Tags (for this series): @queendeakyy @scarlettequinn @stephydearestxo @likesomekindofcheese

Tags: @writingfortoomanyfandoms @metaphorical-love-for-a-car@queens-n-roses @freaky-dcaky@yourealegendfred@fierce-bab@dusthas-beenbitten @bensroger@strangeandwonderfulconcepts@babebenhardy@benhardyjones @silvver-rose @psychosupernatural

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cheshiresense · 6 years

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Out of curiosity, and because you've mentioned it before: how do you think a friendship between ichigo and aizen would go down? *tosses in a time travel bit, just in case, because why not?*

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Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. In general, I’m not a huge fan of Ichigo & Aizen interaction unless Aizen’s just there to fill the enemy role. It’s not like I hate it, it’s just I’m usually not interested in it.

But.

Let’s say Yhwach wins. Soul Society is destroyed. Most people are dead. All that good-bad stuff. Ichigo gets sent back. Along with Aizen. They’re basically the only two powerhouses left, and SK figures if anyone can stop his son, it’s these two with all the knowledge and experience they have against Yhwach. And also if anyone can keep Aizen in check without literally locking him up, it would be Ichigo.

Because I am a sucker for TBTP era, that is where they go. Maybe that’s as far as the SK could send them, maybe he thinks a century-ish to prepare would be enough.

Aizen Sousuke, Fifth Division lieutenant, gets carted off to the Fourth when he collapses out of the blue one afternoon under the weight of a hundred+ years of memories, including all the work he’ll do in his attempt to make a perfect Hogyoku and the events that led to his brief reign in Las Noches and of course his defeat at the hands of Kurosaki Ichigo and Urahara Kisuke and even those two years he spent in the darkness of Muken before being released just in time to watch the world collapse.

Ichigo, mind and body, gets conveniently dumped near a patrol led by Shiba Kaien. It doesn’t take much for the Clan to accept someone who’s so obviously one of them, even if they don’t know who his parents are. He’s also shuffled off to the Fourth because Kaien found him bleeding and near-comatose, and the Shibas have private healers but Unohana is still the best.

Ichigo wakes up first. His healing factor is no joke, and Aizen technically has two souls working to integrate together while his mind struggles to put all the new memories in order. They don’t see each other that day. Aizen gets his own private room, and Ichigo is in a wing reserved for the Shibas. But Ichigo can still sense him, and yeah, a very large part of him is still wary of this man because they aren’t exactly friends and Aizen’s one of the smartest, most dangerous people Ichigo has ever met. But at the same time, he also remembers the Aizen who tried to help him against Yhwach, undoubtedly for his own survival and his own refusal to serve anyone, but by the end, it was also very obvious that Yhwach was going to win and Aizen still didn’t switch sides or run away. Not even for his own survival. If nothing else, Ichigo can respect conviction like that.

Sousuke wakes a few days later. Unohana tells him his reiatsu was depleted, and did he strain himself training? Sousuke easily takes the lie and runs with it, conceding gracefully to Unohana’s ominous stare and lecture before he’s released.

Kyouka Suigetsu is cold even to his touch, and he can’t hear her even though he can feel her again. It’s both jarring and startling. He’s used to a certain kind of emptiness where his spirit once - and now again - resided, and he didn’t realize just how much he missed her felt that emptiness until it’s been filled again. He’s not sure what kind of reception he’ll receive when he enters his mindscape so he puts that off for later.

He goes back to work, brushes aside his captain’s suspicious glances and deflects his gruffly concerned nagging. He gets his hands on a calendar as soon as possible, and a few quick calculations tells him it’s still a good decade before the Hollowfication incident. He hasn’t even met Gin yet. Which reminds him… He considers it for all of a moment before making a mental note to recall all the Shinigami currently secretly under his command, gathering souls out in Rukongai under the guise of missions. Gin was a… tolerable protégé, a quick learner and a dependable subordinate, inasmuch as Sousuke ever depended on anyone. He has no use for him this time though, so he might as well leave the boy and his friend alone. Besides, Ichigo probably won’t approve, and even before they came back, Sousuke had already decided that - at least until Yhwach is taken care of - it would be more trouble than it was worth to have to fight Ichigo every step of the way as well. Until or unless, of course, Ichigo attempts to get him thrown back into Muken.

They don’t meet up until two weeks later. Sousuke is admittedly impressed at the speed Ichigo can get things moving when he’s motivated. Within a week, rumours of a new Shiba enrolling a bit late at the Academy begin circulating. Within two weeks, said new Shiba has reached prodigal status and jumped straight to almost all senior courses, most likely slated to graduate by the end of the year.

“You act quickly when you have made up your mind,” is Aizen’s opening gambit when he appears in the ramen stand that Ichigo deliberately chose because it’s only half a block away from the Fifth Division barracks.

Ichigo shrugs and doesn’t bother looking up from his noodles. “No use dragging my heels, right? I can’t do anything when I’ve got every Shiba in the city hovering over me like I might collapse from a strong gust of wind. They’ll have to back off once I graduate and get a job.”

Aizen makes a faintly skeptical noise once he finishes ordering his own meal. “You would be surprised. The Shiba Clan has always been strangely family-oriented.”

Ichigo rolls his eyes. “There’s nothing strange about being family-oriented. But whatever, we’re not here to talk about them. What’s your plan?” He gets a raised eyebrow for that. Ichigo rolls his eyes again. He feels like he’s going to be doing that a lot. “You can’t tell me you don’t already have like half a dozen plans cooked up. So tell me those, I have a few ideas of my own that I’ll tell you, and we’ll poke holes in each other’s plans until we come up with the best one.”

He gets stared at a bit more before Aizen’s ramen arrives, and they eat in silence for a while. Aizen is the one who breaks it in measured tones, “We need to figure out a way to breach their Wandenreich before Yhwach returns. He is powerful enough on his own. Taking his army from him would be a decent blow against him.”

Ichigo grimaces. “Right, and by we, you mean me.”

Aizen points out, mild as milk, “I cannot manipulate reishi.”

Ichigo sighs but doesn’t protest. His gaze slides over to a nearby shadow before returning to his food. “Right. Well. I guess you’ll be figuring out a way to defeat the Quincy army?”

Aizen waves a dismissive hand. “Yhwach aside, I am not particularly concerned about the rest of them. If push comes to shove and our Bankai are stolen, Urahara Kisuke invented a way to cripple them. I am sure I can duplicate the method.”

Ichigo gives him a hard stare at that. “Okay, but that better not be code for ‘I’m gonna continue feeding people to my sparkly magic stone’. Yours was a failure anyway so there’s no point doing the same thing all over again.”

Aizen counters with a narrow-eyed look that doesn’t quite fit the kind, genial lieutenant disguise he’s got going right now. It’s creepy. “The Hollowfication research will be necessary. I believe it is key to defeating Yhwach.”

Ichigo scowls. “That’s fine. But not your way.”

Aizen’s lip curls a little, equal parts derision and mockery before it’s wiped away again, just as a group of Shinigami duck inside to pick up their takeout order. They whisper excitedly when they catch sight of Aizen, and all of them blush when Aizen smiles at them. Ichigo thinks he might gag.

“Do you think,” Aizen says with all the silky bite of hidden poison, as soon as the Shinigami have left. “Your Urahara Kisuke created his Hogyoku any differently than I? He somehow succeeded where I did not, but do not think for one second that his hands are any cleaner than mine. The very nature of the Hogyoku requires the sacrifice of souls. He is no saint, no matter what kind of pedestal you’ve put him on in your-” He stops. Looks at Ichigo. A frown creases his brow. “…But you know that.”

Ichigo shrugs. “That Kisuke’s done some seriously messed up shit? Well yeah. I mean, Exhibit A: Rukia, Exhibit B: me. And I didn’t spend all my time at the Shouten only drinking tea and training, you know. Sometimes we talked.”

He doesn’t let himself think about it though. He’s been handling everything so far by very pointedly not thinking about it. About everything he’s lost. About everyone he’s lost.

“Just find another way,” Ichigo finishes irritably. “You’re supposed to be smart, right? So quit fucking around and figure it out.”

Aizen… doesn’t do anything as obvious as glare or even clench his jaw or anything, but there’s something about the unblinking sharpness of his expression that makes Ichigo think the man is torn between amused and annoyed and maybe a little incredulous. Ichigo doesn’t quite understand where all those emotions are coming from but he scowls back with an unflinching sort of steadiness because this is a line in the sand, and Aizen will not be crossing it. Not again.

Aizen finally concedes with little more than a huff of a laugh through his nose even as he turns back to his meal. “As you say,” He agrees, and if you only listened to his tone of voice, you’d think he was the pinnacle of gracious modesty. “And what of Urahara Kisuke? Will you be stopping him too?”

Ichigo frowns. “Yeah, but it’ll probably take me a while to get there. I was thinking, after I graduate, should I go to the Twelfth? We’ll probably need Kisuke, sooner or later.”

“You believe you can influence him enough to change him?” Aizen looks amused all over again.

“I can try,” Ichigo retorts. “If it really comes down to it, I can find his labs, burn everything that looks shady, and then pin him down and explain everything to him. And hopefully by then I’ll have found a way through to the Wandenreich too so that would be proof.”

He bristles defensively when Aizen actually rolls his eyes, a little. And here he thought the bastard was too refined for that.

“And there is the Kurosaki Ichigo I recall from our early days,” Aizen murmurs. He doesn’t give Ichigo the chance to snap back, continuing smoothly, if pointedly, “Do you even know enough about any scientific field or technological research to catch the Twelfth’s eye? At this point in time, those are the only types of graduates Urahara Kisuke is looking for.”

“Well, no,” Ichigo admits. He knows a bit from listening to Kisuke in the other future-past but probably not enough to actually make a career out of it. “But you can teach me, right?”

Aizen doesn’t even blink, but his reiatsu flutters just a moment, giving away his genuine surprise. “Me. Teach you.”

“You can say no,” Ichigo snorts. “If I can’t get into the Twelfth, I figure the Thirteenth or Eighth might be-”

“I have not said no,” Aizen cuts him off calmly. “And it would be foolish of you to believe there is no danger in working your way into Kyouraku Shunsui or Ukitake Jyuushirou’s good graces. This is not a century in the future where they’ve spent years stewing silently under a number of injustices against people they claimed to care about. This is a time where they turned their faces and said nothing when the Gotei’s elite was gutted overnight on one man’s say-so. Kyouka Suigetsu’s hypnosis ensured that an already paranoid government would condemn them, this is true, but I never had to hypnotize a single Shinigami for them to let the matter go. There was talk, of course, but in the end, they swept the incident under the rug all on their own.” He studies Ichigo for a long moment, and whatever he sees there - Fury? Disgust? Disappointment? - makes him nod with something like satisfaction and something like pity. “I will teach you some basics. I teach classes a few times a week at the Academy. I can set aside some office hours for you. If you can turn Urahara Kisuke to our cause, it would simplify matters greatly. But I doubt you will enjoy it much. You have always preferred the arts, I believe.”

Ichigo freezes. Aizen looks particularly innocent despite the dark-tinted amusement that swims underneath. “I did say I have watched you grow up all your life, did I not?”

“…You are so fucking creepy,” Ichigo finally croaks.

And Aizen beams rainbows and butterflies in response, and hell Ichigo wishes he’d looked like that at Yhwach because surely it would’ve been a one-hit KO. It sure as fuck makes Ichigo want to run screaming in the opposite direction.

And… some time passes. Ichi goes to school, meets up with Aizen in his office a couple times a week for tutoring sessions, plots with Aizen, snarks with Aizen, shouts at Aizen on one memorable occasion when they argued over whether hypnotizing everyone into helping them fight would be a good tactic (Ichigo wins with a no, for now, to be rehashed in the future).

Eventually though, people notice.

Sousuke hasn’t been using Kyouka Suigetsu as much. To be honest, there’s simply no real need, which is… an actual novelty. He is literally not doing anything illegal, and in fact hasn’t done anything illegal - beyond ensuring all the Shinigami under his command don’t remember what they’ve been doing for him - since he came back in time. He’s fairly certain it’s some kind of record.

It’s largely Ichigo’s fault, Sousuke decides. When he isn’t doing paperwork or teaching a class or away on a mission, he’s tutoring Ichigo or ironing out their future potential plans with him.

And Ichigo is not like Gin. Gin was obedient. For all that he had a mischievous streak, he also walked a careful line around Sousuke. He had a knack for just enough backtalk to be amusing but not offensive, made himself useful but didn’t linger enough for his presence to become annoying, and ultimately, he did anything and everything Aizen asked of him.

Ichigo is not like that. He very much does not give a damn about whether or not he offends Sousuke. He’ll park himself in Sousuke’s office until he learns whatever chapter of whatever topic Sousuke is teaching him that day. He’ll let them both take a break if they end up too frustrated, but he keeps at it, and he never shies from asking Sousuke to explain something again if he doesn’t understand. He matches Sousuke word for word if they disagree over something. He isn’t too prideful to concede if Sousuke makes a good enough point, but likewise, he doesn’t let Sousuke get away with insisting on being right when Ichigo comes out on top in their arguments.

It’s frustrating, and more than once, Sousuke thinks it would be so much easier if he could just… hypnotize Ichigo a little, to make him a little more agreeable. Of course, then he remembers Kyouka Suigetsu won’t work on him, because they may be back in time, but the soul remembers, and Ichigo adapted to Kyouka Suigetsu’s illusions from the very first moment they teamed up against Yhwach like he’d done it his entire life. Kyouka Suigetsu has never and will never work against Ichigo, and Sousuke’s still undecided about whether to be impressed or insulted by this.

So Sousuke is forced to cope. He’s appalled when Ichigo actually manages to goad him into snapping back once or twice, but at the same time, there’s something almost freeing about not having to watch his words, his actions, his very facial expressions, when there’s only Ichigo around. With Ichigo, there is no need to pretend because he already knows exactly the kind of person Sousuke is, and it leaves him feeling simultaneously wrong-footed and uneasy and perhaps just a touch grateful.

Eventually, Hirako notices. Hirako Shinji has forever been a thorn in Sousuke’s side. Not particularly life-threatening, almost forgettable at times, but irritating all the same. Hirako’s always seen something off about Sousuke. He’s never been able to see the full picture, but he sees enough to remain wary. Not that it helped him much in the end of course.

But he sees Sousuke with Ichigo, with the Shiba’s latest pride and joy, and undoubtedly, he probably thinks Sousuke is corrupting him. Which secretly amuses Sousuke to some degree. If there’s one man Sousuke would put money down on being uncorruptible, or at least very close to it, it would be Kurosaki Ichigo. If anything, it tended to be the other way around. Ichigo drew people into his orbit and changed them, simply by being himself. No mind manipulation necessary.

“Sou-chan,” Hirako sidles up to him one day, peering at him like that would make Sousuke crack and spill all his secrets. “I hear you’ve been hangin’ out with an Academy brat lately.”

Sousuke levels a patiently droll expression on his captain. “Indeed. Shiba-san has expressed an interest in joining the Twelfth upon his graduation, and he wishes to further his education in certain sciences in order to better his chances for acceptance. Since I have some knowledge of several areas in the field, I offered to tutor him during my office hours.”

And the best thing of all, he isn’t even lying. He wonders if Hirako can sense it too, because his captain stares, keen-eyed and silent, too controlled to flap his jaw in shock, but shocked all the same. It makes Sousuke wonder if he really did lie to Hirako that much the first time around. Then he remembers that more often than not, he simply left an illusion of himself in the barracks while he worked in his labs.

Hm. Is that why? because some part of Hirako - perhaps because of his Zanpakutou’s abilities - has always sensed that literally everything about his own lieutenant was fake?

“I see,” The man says at last. “Well, that’s good. The kid could benefit from that if he really wants to get into the Twelfth.” But I’ll be watching you goes unsaid. “Invite him over sometime,” He continues, and the offer is genuine, because at his core, Sousuke’s captain is a good man. “He can see what a Division looks like from the inside.”

Sousuke watches him walk away. He wonders if it will change anything if he tries shoving Ichigo in Hirako’s direction. It could be interesting to find out.

And…. that’s all I have. Basically these two getting to know each other in-between figuring out how to save the world and dragging in allies and settling into their lives in the past. And Sousuke still mind-whammying people as a first instinct. And Ichigo stopping him from mind-whammying people, which becomes instinct. It’s an interesting friendship, to say the least.

#bleach #myscrap #aizen sousuke #kurosaki ichigo #hirako shinji #headcanon #msg #anonymous #good god what am i doing #ichigo & aizen time travel verse

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whitewolfofwinterfell · 5 years

Note

Can you do one of your metas on Elena, her strengths, flaws and why you (and I!) still like her despite the fact that many understandably don't?!

Yes! Thank you so much for sending this in. I love any opportunity I get to talk about and defend Elena, because I think she’s such an unfairly hated/disliked character.

I actually wrote a very in-depth meta about Elena before here, but since I did it a couple of years ago now some of my opinions and thoughts have changed since then. What I speak about in the sections about Elena being a Mary Sue and her strengths and weaknesses are still what I think, so it’s particularly worth reading that, because that’s relevant to this question.

The thing is with Elena is, yes, she’s a flawed character, but characters should be flawed because human beings are flawed. Elena’s flaws are exactly what make her relatable and real. Based on what I’ve seen in fandom over the years the main reasons people seem to dislike Elena are because she’s selfish, a Mary Sue or undeveloped as character. In my previous meta I explained why she’s not a Mary Sue, and I stand by that. As for the selfish part, I agree with it wholeheartedly. Elena is selfish, but who isn’t? I don’t understand disliking or hating on a character based on their selfishness because selfishness is a natural human trait that is instilled in all of us. In fact, most of us have to actively try to not be selfish and to be more considerate of others, because we’re naturally hard-wired to think of ourselves first. I would argue that Elena isn’t anymore selfish than any other character on the show and that rather than selfishness, it’d probably be more accurate to refer to it as self-centredness. And you might think those two words mean the same, but to me, selfishness is actively choosing to put your own well-being above others at the detriment of those around you. Self-centredness is a tendency to think about yourself first and to be oblivious to the impact that has on others around you. So, I’d say that Elena was self-centred rather than selfish. She had a tendency to think about how she felt and how things affected her and wasn’t always able to see how others around her were feeling or how they may be affected. The claim that Elena was undeveloped is also a valid argument. I like Elena but even I’m not blind to the incredibly poor characterisation and development she had. I understand the writers intentions with Elena, but unfortunately, it didn’t really work. It felt like Elena never really went beyond her original character profile. It’s like the writers sat down in a room and decided the core traits they wanted her to have in the pilot episode and season 1, but they never really went beyond that. So for me, a big part of the reason I like Elena is because of the potential her character had and the fact that I feel like she’s unfairly hated, as I’ve already mentioned.

Overall, I really don’t think Elena was that flawed, except for her self-centredness and indecisiveness. The biggest flaw of her character was the inconsistent writing that failed to fully build upon her as a character or explore her nuances and sacrificed her characterisation and development for the sake of her romantic relationship. I think that over the years people have exaggerated her flaws in open rebellion against the writers who plugged Elena as this wonderful, selfless heroine whom everyone worshipped and adored. Whenever there’s a character like that people deliberately search for their flaws. This kind of writing also tends to turns people off the character and instead they start to root for the ‘underdog’ or the character that is sidelined (in this case, Bonnie and/or Caroline). So a big part of the problem with Elena’s character comes from the writing and the way in which the narrative constantly centred on her, put her on a pedestal and tried to push her as being special, which people begrudge.

Ironically, the reason I love Elena is because I don’t think she was special. She was just a very normal girl who wanted what most teenagers want - to get through high school, have fun with her friends and live some semblance of an ordinary life with happy moments in between. She wasn’t perfect, she wasn’t special, she was just a girl that tried her best in impossible situations. She didn’t always make the best decisions and she wasn’t always the embodiment of empathy and compassion, but she showed amazing strength and resilience in the face of adversity. Time and time again she experienced tremendous traumas but she dealt with them as best she could, and in the process remained an optimistic and kind soul. Her resilience was undoubtedly her biggest strength. It still astounds me that Elena was able to overcome so much pain and trauma.

When people criticise Elena’s character, I think they fail to consider that although we’re not explicitly told it Elena consistently exhibited signs of depression. She explicitly said that after her parents death she didn’t want to live, she stopped enjoying her hobbies such as writing and cheer leading, but most significantly, she displayed reckless behaviours and suicidal tendencies. Unfortunately, her suicidal tendencies have been brushed off as being acts of “sacrifice” to save those she loved. I’m not saying they weren’t sacrifices, but her willingness to die was not normal for someone with a healthy mindset. I would die to save someone I love, but it wouldn’t be an easy decision. And perhaps that makes me sound like a terrible person, but I don’t want to die. I have a strong desire and instinct to live and sacrificing my life for someone I love is something I’d do, but I’d be absolutely terrified and heartbroken. However, when Elena was faced with the possibility of her own death, she didn’t seem to care. She passed it off as “I’m doing it to protect the people I love”, but whether that was true or not it doesn’t change the fact that she was going to die. The way Buffy reacted to finding out she was going to die is exactly how I would expect a teenager to react to receiving that kind of devastating news (x). Elena never reacted like this at the prospect of dying. In fact, when she died in 3x22 she seemed at peace, as though she was okay with the fact that she was dying. Afterwards when she woke up in transition she literally said, “I was ready to die”. It’s strange, because I always accepted that Elena didn’t want to be a vampire and that she was heartbroken at the start of season 4, but on reflection it doesn’t make sense. Elena has been around vampires and she knew that although it has it’s cons, she could still have a relatively normal life. Plus, she had a support network around her, particularly Caroline who had literally gone through the process of becoming a vampire two years previously and who had adapted to it brilliantly. I look back now and the only explanation I have for Elena’s reaction to becoming a vampire is that she wanted to die. Lets not forget that a few episodes later in 4x06 she tried to kill herself. She was under the influence of the Hunters curse, but all the curse did is bring her own self-loathing and suicidal thoughts to the forefront. And notice how in her relationships with Stefan and Damon she made some sort of reference to how they provided her with a reason to live. About Stefan: “After my parents died I kind of felt like I didn’t know how to live anymore. Like I didn’t want to. But then being with Stefan, somehow I just figured it out. And that’s what love should be. You should love the person that makes you glad that you’re alive.” About Damon: “ I’m not sorry that I met you. I’m not sorry that knowing you has made me question everything, that in death you’re the one that made me feel most alive.” Elena actively searched for something to live for in her relationships with Stefan and Damon, which just demonstrates to me that outside of those relationships she felt she has no reason to live. That’s hardly healthy and also explains why her relationship with Damon became so intense in seasons 5 and 6 to the point that she described him as being the one that defined her and felt that she couldn’t live without him.

I could continue assessing this aspect of Elena but it’ll get too long. The point is that Elena endured a lot of hurt and trauma and people crap on her for some of the shitty decisions she made (none of which are really that bad, they’re just generic incidents of self-involvement that we’re all guilty of) without taking into account the context of her character or her mental state. Even the fact that she entered into relationships with vampires as a human is indicative of self-destructive tendencies. Regardless of the humanistic qualities Stefan and Damon had, the fact that they were vampires was obviously only going to bring strife to Elena’s life, but she disregarded that and chose to be with them anyway. Elena had a lot of deep-rooted emotional issues that she didn’t really ever get to deal with because every time she tried to make progress and heal something else traumatic happened to her. People don’t want to accept that Elena was a victim because the narrative placed her as the victim, and it pisses people off, but whether you like her or not she was a victim. Almost everything that happened to and around Elena was as a result of what she was (the doppelganger) or who she was connected to (Katherine, Stefan and Damon primarily) rather than her own decisions or actions.

She was also a victim of the writing. I don’t want to bring ships into this too much because that’s a separate issue, but Elena’s entire characterisation was sacrificed for the benefit of her relationship with Damon. The writers had to change her in certain ways to make that relationship work and instead of Elena having the kind of development we generally expect characters to have (whereby they change for the better), she actually regressed as a character. Elena’s entire character was built around the idea of her being compassionate, empathetic and nurturing, and being a good friend, girlfriend and sister, but all of that immediately became null and void when she got into a relationship with Damon. How could we believe that Elena was compassionate and a good friend/sister when she willingly entered into a relationship with a man who abused and raped her best friend (Caroline), murdered her brother in front of her and kidnapped and threatened him later on in the series, brutally attacked her other best friend (Bonnie), murdered Vicki and turned her into a vampire and killed Aaron. Those are just the bad things Damon did to Elena’s friends and family that I can recall from the top of my head. And this is also a core aspect of Elena’s character that people have a problem with - her entire characterisation no longer stands when she gets into a relationship with Damon. No matter how much the writers tried to tell us post season 4 that Elena was a kind, selfless and caring person, friend and sister, being with Damon automatically invalidated all of that. For Elena to make sense as a character and exist in that relationship, they had to completely re-establish her entire personality and core traits and the writers couldn’t be bothered to do that so just swept it under the rug. The problem is that fans don’t turn a blind eye to things like that they notice it.

So the big question here is why do you, and I, and others still like Elena? Well, I can only speak for myself, but I like Elena because (prior to season 4) she was a genuinely sweet and kind-hearted person that was relatable and had lots of potential but that was done a great injustice by the writing. Elena could’ve been one of the best loved characters of all time if the writers had known how to handle her, but they lost her character amidst the triangle drama and her relationships with the Salvatore brothers (honestly, I think if the triangle didn’t exist, Elena would’ve immediately been a more well-liked character generally). She didn’t do anything to warrant the terrible things that happened to her and has been consistently bashed by fans who nit-pick the minor examples of self-centredness she displayed and overlook all the kindness she showed and the hardships she endured. The horrendous traumas she suffered through have been glossed over but honestly, as a 17 year old girl that went through everything she did, she showed incredible strength and resilience. For that alone, I cannot do anything but love Elena Gilbert.

Also, as a side-note, on a more personal level, I relate to Elena a lot as a character that’s considered flat and boring and that people see as lacking in conviction. I’m always very insecure that I’m dull, that there’s nothing interesting about me and that people will find it difficult to like me or connect to me because I’m a very neutral character. I also worry because I don’t have a specific path in mind for my future or one thing that I’m passionate about and want to dedicate my life to. And I feel like people a lot of people in real life really are like this. Not every single person in the world is super deep and multi-layered with really well-defined personalities. Not everyone is fun, vibrant, charming and charismatic. Likewise, a lot of people don’t know exactly what they want out of life (in fact, I’d argue people who know what they want are in the minority of people). A lot of people are just dull and ‘ordinary’ and don’t have their lives mapped out. We have this tendency to analyse characters based on their traits, their strengths, weaknesses, hobbies, desires, fears etc. which is fun and I love to do it, but real people are more complex than that. If I asked people that know me to describe my core personality they probably wouldn’t be able to (hell, I don’t even think I’d be able to!), because you can never really articulate the essence of what a person is no matter how hard you try. People are contradictory and personalities, feelings, thoughts, morals, beliefs etc. are very changeable. There are core aspects to who we are, but people can change the way they think or behave or what they believe all the time depending upon circumstances and experiences. Elena may not necessarily have a core personality or characterisation that is maintained across the series, but in a strange way, that makes her more human to me than any other character. And I relate so much to the way that Elena never really knows what to do when it comes to making important life decisions. It’s important to remember when analysing Elena that despite Nina looking (and being) older than 17, Elena is supposed to be a 17 year old girl. Most teenagers that age don’t have a clue who they are, what they want or who they want and are just living day to day and seeing where life takes them. That’s exactly what Elena did and since she “made it” it gives me hope that I will one day too.

Thank you so much for asking, lovely! I tried to keep this short, but I have a lot of thoughts and feelings when it comes to Elena. Hopefully I made sense, because I felt like a lot of this was very muddled and explained terribly.

#answered #my meta #tvd meta #elena gilbert #anti-delena #theofficestan

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starspatter · 6 years

Text

Heroes and Thieves, Ch. 6

Title: Heroes and Thieves Fandom/Universe: BTAS, pre/post-RotJ flashback

Summary: A story about second chances, healing, and having hope.

Rating: PG-13, for references to character death, child psychological torture and trauma.

Genre: Romance/Family/Friendship/Hurt/Comfort

Word Count: 3,791 Previous Chapters: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5

Also on ff.net and AO3. In which Dick is surprisingly racist towards clones.

Two birds on a wire One says "come on" and the other says "I'm tired" The sky is overcast and I'm sorry One more or one less Nobody's worried

-Regina Spektor, "Two Birds"

Then.

Once their guest had left, Tim turned to Dick with a wounded air.

“How about giving me some warning next time before someone shows up, huh? A little heads-up would’ve been nice.”

Dick’s smile didn’t falter.

“What, did she catch you doing something embarrassing?”

Tim skewered him a look of disgust.

“Do you have to make everything sound dirty?”

“Sorry, sorry. …I’m surprised you’re still doing ‘that’ after all these years though.”

Tim shrugged with a heavy sigh. “Was just testing to see if I still could, I guess. I messed up on the landing anyway.”

“You probably just need to work on your form some more. It has been a while since I last saw you brush up on any techniques, they’re bound to get a bit rusty. If you want, I can still coach you…”

Tim’s lips tightened.

“Forget it. It’s not worth it.”

“Are you sure? That girl seemed pretty impressed by it. She’s the one you were talking about earlier, right?” Dick nodded in sage observation. “She’s cute; nice face, decent rack- ow!” He rubbed his arm as it was abruptly met with an annoyed punch. “Hey, it was a compliment.”

“…Didn’t sound like one.”

“Would you prefer I said she has a mighty fine ass?” He waggled his brows and grinned provocatively, despite wincing from the pain. Kid could still hit pretty hard when he wanted to. “Not as fine as mine though.”

“Shut up before I shove a dumbbell up there.”

Dick clutched his behind in mock dread at the threat.

“Seriously though, she’s obviously into you.”

Tim rolled his eyes. “The way I see it, from where I’m standing, she’s more into you.”

“Oh ho, do I detect a note of jealousy?”

“No,” Tim denied hotly, though his cheeks told a different story. “It’s just that you’re being super-gross about it. You know you’re acting like Bruce by coming onto every giddy schoolgirl and her mom who walks in through the door.”

Dick’s smirk jerked slightly.

“Wow, okay dude, we’re really going there.” It was his turn to be hurt by insensitivity. “You didn’t need to go that far. I’ll have you know this and that are completely different.”

“How so?”

“I approach these things from a sole marketing perspective. Purely professional. It’s called ‘show business’, bro.”

“Uh-huh. This coming from the guy who just lied about his scars to make himself look good. I suppose ‘that’s’ also part of your advertising strategy?”

“Hey, it’s not like it was a total lie. That really did happen, you know – minus the ‘falling debris’ part. …Besides, what else would you have me say?”

Tim shook his head, keeping his voice low. “…I don’t know.”

Dick seized on the telling silence. “You are attracted to her, aren’t you?”

“I am not.”

“It’s okay, I can see why. It’s all right to admit these things, you know. You don’t have to hide it.”

“I’m not hiding anything.”

The firm, yet flustered defiance only further confirmed Dick’s suspicion.

“Heh heh, little Timmy’s got a crush~”

He tousled Tim’s hair teasingly, to which the boy scowled.

“I do not.” He pushed the invading hand away in indignation. “Will you cut that out already? I’m not a kid anymore.”

Dick lowered his limb in disappointment.

“Okay, okay. Sorry.” Despite insistence otherwise, it delighted Dick that Tim was finally exhibiting some of the youthful desire – if not exuberance – he’d missed out on through his teenage years. “Trust me though, I have no interest in someone her age. She’s all yours.”

“Look, will you just drop it?” Tim snapped bluntly. “It’s none of your freakin’ business.”

Dick exhaled, clicking his tongue. If only Tim could be more honest with his feelings, true to himself – though he was painfully aware of how excruciatingly difficult that must be, what with everything the boy had been through. To be fair, he had his own troubles genuinely opening his heart to others, after all the times it had been broken and betrayed before. …He could only imagine how terrifying it must be for Tim, to allow someone else – a complete and total stranger – to get close by entering into his currently (semi-)stable and secure – if supremely secluded life, experience that kind of risky emotion again. Breach the many walls and defensive barriers he had set up around himself, upset the plainly precarious balance that was still a struggle to barely maintain. So as much as he wanted to continue coaxing and clowning – kidding around, he agreed to leave it alone for now, raising both palms in admitted defeat.

“Okay, I get it. I won’t bother you about it anymore.”

The subject successfully dismissed, Tim attuned towards the boxes in the back.

“So did you want me to help with moving this stuff or what?”

“Yeah, I needed to clear out some old things to make space for new equipment. Trying to tidy up the place more, getting rid of useless junk and whatnot. …Although most of it’s probably going up to the storeroom in the attic anyway. Sorry to bother you for this; I’d do all the lifting myself, but with my back…”

“Don’t mention it, it’s the least I can do to repay you.”

“Thanks, I appreciate it.”

Tim knelt by one of the cartons as Dick set to work sifting and sorting, organizing according to some arbitrary system that ostensibly only made sense to him.

“Christ, how much crap do you have here? Seriously, what even is half this junk? I knew you had all kinds of odd ends lying around, but I didn’t realize it amounted to this much. Do you ever throw anything away?”

Dick shrugged.

“What can I say, I’m a hoarder by nature. Keeping keepsakes is my hobby. …Well, more like a habit, I guess. Why do you think we had a trophy room in the basement? It wasn’t originally Bruce’s idea, I can tell you that.”

Tim remained quiet as he poked through a large collection of CDs, containing a few recognizable but mostly random titles by various indie bands and artists he’d never heard of.

“Man, you’ve got weird taste in music.”

“Hey, don’t knock the classics. Those are precious goods, be careful with those.”

In spite of his scoffing, Tim picked up one of the discs that appealed to him, and was almost about to subconsciously slip the item under his oversized hoodie – an old, old habit of his own – before remembering he didn’t have to resort to sneaking or stealing when he could just ask.

“Can I borrow this?”

Dick didn’t even twist to look, implicitly trusting in his little brother’s judgment. “Yeah sure, go ahead.”

Tim breathed out in relief as he pocketed the prize with permission. That was a close call. Borderline kleptomaniac compulsions hadn’t surfaced like that in a long time, but then, it was only another minor checkbox on the extensive, exhaustive list of psychotic symptoms he was suffering from today.

There was another entry that caught his eye, different from the others. It had no hard case or album cover; just a plain, simple jacket labeled with marker:

For Babs.

Tim wondered if it was a mix tape – surely Dick wouldn’t have tried to record something himself? He couldn’t tell whether it was a gift Dick planned to give but never worked up the courage to – or something Barbara sent back after (one of numerous) breakup(s).

…Maybe Joker was right. Being in love with someone seemed like way more hassle than it was worth. Hell, just watching those two go back and forth between affection and anger even back then was tiring. Aggravating.

At any rate, he left burning curiosity alone, not wanting to intrude too much on Dick’s privacy (years ago he would’ve taunted his brother with the juicy bit of exposing bait himself, but that was then, when he was less mature and still found amusement in such things), and moved on to another container. As soon as he saw the contents inside, he balked a bit, heartbeat spiking. Aching. It was a family photo album, full of fond memories from the Flying Graysons’ circus days. His hands trembled as he flipped tentatively through the pages, unable to tear away even though it made him uncomfortable for a number of reasons. Paranoid of polaroids. Anything involving camerawork tended to make him queasy, though he could typically tolerate homages to others at least. These were different from the blown-up, polished posters on the wall though; the images portrayed within were more intimate, unscripted. Candid, captured moments of a close-knit clan, happy as a clam – treasured remnants of childhood innocence and bliss combined with parental pampering.

“This must have been such a cool place to grow up.”

“…It was.”

Glancing back at the receptacle, buried at the bottom was another set of snapshots: a framed photograph of Dick and Barbara together (him smiling smugly straight at her in puppy-like adoration while she beamed brightly at the viewer instead), and a worn print of the former in graduation garb next to Bruce, who had his paw wrapped proudly on the other’s shoulder. Scrawled on the top left-hand corner in Bruce’s surprisingly haphazard handwriting was a short congratulatory message:

Good luck at college, Dick.

Tim recalled how Dick told him the story of Bruce missing his graduation from Gotham State University, shortly before the two split up as Batman and Robin. (…The old man never even bothered to come to his own high school ceremony – not that Tim was expecting him to – although Dick and Barbara both did attend at least, albeit sitting at opposite ends of the auditorium.)

“It was building for a long time. I realize that now. …It was never really right. I mean, this isn’t exactly a normal childhood.”

He hadn’t really comprehended the notion then, but Tim understood now what those words meant – unfortunately all too well.

Tim sensed a shadow behind him, and for a brief instant, he half-envisioned it being Bruce from the way it loomed – but of course when he revolved around it was only Dick instead.

“Yo, you all right? You look like you’ve just seen a ghost.”

“Yeah, I’m fine.” Tim looked down at the scrapbook in his lap, a wistful mist in his eyes. “I was just… thinking I don’t really have any pictures of my folks. At least none where we’re all together.” Or that isn’t a mugshot, he thought sullenly to himself. “I never saw my dad keep any mementos of Mom after she died. To be honest, I’m not sure I even still remember what she looks like.”

Dick plopped down on the ground next to him, resting a hand on the boy’s sagged shoulder.

“Listen, I hope you know: No matter what, you can always think of the two of us as family at least. I know I haven’t exactly been that much of a great guardian myself, that I could never replace what you lost either… But you are still a brother to me. Hell, I consider you the closest thing to a real relative I’ve had since then.”

Tim simply nodded, swallowing a lump in his gorge. Dick patted his back with a thump.

“Us guys, we gotta stick together, right? Through thick and thin.”

“Yeah.” Tim ducked his neck towards his collar, surreptitiously drying ducts on his sweatshirt. “…Thanks, you know, for letting me stay here so long. Roy and Conner too.”

“Hey, what are friends for?” A pause. “…How’s Conner doing by the way?”

Tim snorted, the caution in the other’s tone not escaping his notice. “What do you care? You never liked him anyway.”

“That’s not true. It’s just… The whole idea of cloning someone kinda wigs me out, okay? I dunno, imagining there being a duplicate copy of you running around is freaky enough, but one of Superman? It still doesn’t sit well with me to leave him loose like that, after all the underhanded crap Cadmus has pulled. Something about it just doesn’t seem right. Who’s to say he doesn’t have some secret kill switch that’ll make him go rogue like Supergirl’s doppelganger? Gotham may be full of crazies and creeps, but at least we never really had to deal with stuff of metahuman caliber aside from Ivy and Clayface, or Kirk when he took the serum.” Dick intentionally didn’t include Killer Croc on the atypical rogues roster; guy was too dumb a criminal to count. “We’re on the high end of the ‘weird’ scale, sure, but not even Batman’s equipped to take down a serious superpowered menace alone.”

Tim glared at him in disbelief.

“Is that you talking, or the old man?”

“…Maybe a bit of both,” Dick willingly conceded. “Look, I’m just worried, that’s all.”

“Yeah well, don’t be. I’ve got Mr. Kent on speed-dial, and Kon gave me his full consent to use the Kryptonite at my discretion as part of our ‘roommate agreement’. If anything happens, he told me himself he wants me to hit him with it as hard as I can.” …Even if it meant killing him – although Tim knew he could never go through with that. Not again. “Besides, it’s not him you’re actually worried about, is it?”

“Tim…”

“No, you know what this is?” Tim clenched his fist, drawing away from contact again. “You look at him with the same way you do me – like some ticking time bomb about to explode. I’m getting real sick and tired of it.”

“It’s not like that.”

“Sure it isn’t. Look, for your information, Conner’s doing fine. Hell, he pretty much behaves just like you; he’s probably getting wasted and chasing after chicks at some mixer right now. …That’s what you call a ‘normal college life’, isn’t it?”

Dick cleared his throat, aversely acknowledging hypocrisy.

“…What about you? How is school going? Do you like it there?”

Tim shrugged.

“It’s okay.”

“You know you didn’t have to just stick locally around here. If you wanted to go someplace else I would’ve sponsored you. I mean, I chose to stay close to Gotham because of that… ‘part-time job’ stuff, but you’re smart, you could’ve gone anywhere better.”

“I told you, I’m fine with this.”

“What about taking that girl’s suggestion at least? Life doesn’t just have to be about books and studying for tests all the time either, you know. Look at it this way: You’ve got the time and opportunity now to be a part of after-class club activities that I never had. Why not take advantage of it, get out there and socialize. Enjoy the excitement of your youth and all that.”

Tim stared, trying unsuccessfully to read the other’s expression. He couldn’t deduce whether the dude was just being humorously sarcastic, or genuinely envious and attempting to live vicariously through him. Either way, he wasn’t falling for it.

“I said forget it.”

Dick kept pressing despite disengagement, earnest in his endeavor to tempt Tim to pursue what used to fill the boy with fervent passion, desperately hoping to rekindle some kind of joyful spark.

“Come on, I’m sure it’ll be fun. I bet I could even still teach you to do a quadruple somersault if you’re interested.”

“Why? I suck at it.”

“You just need more practice. …Besides, it’d be kind of a shame to let a legacy die out without passing it on to at least one person.”

Tim wavered at the sincere, if somewhat scheming statement.

“I don’t know…”

“Trust me, it’s easy once you get the hang of it.”

“Maybe for you.” He bitterly bit his tongue under his breath. “I’d like to see you try to concentrate on keeping your balance with the Joker as a peanut gallery.”

“What was that?”

“…Nothing.”

Dick held his gaze for a second.

“Tim, I didn’t want to bring this up, but… Conner called me the other day. He told me, about the lab incident. He says you haven’t been sleeping or eating much either.”

Tim grit his jaw, feeling like a dagger had just been thrust in his gut. He couldn’t believe his best (perhaps only) bud in the world would betray him like that.

“Damnit, Kon.”

“Don’t blame him, he’s just worried about you too. I told you: You don’t need to keep hiding things from us. We’re here to help if you need anything. Babs too. If something’s troubling you, you can talk to us.”

“It’s fine, I’m handling it.”

Dick wouldn’t desist, determined to get the truth out of him.

“Tim, I heard you yelling earlier. …He’s back again, isn’t he?”

The boy sighed in surrender, eyes slanting stage right. “…To your left, making faces.”

His partner fixed him with stern concern.

“Are you off your meds again?”

“They don’t work. Not as well as they used to.”

“That doesn’t mean you should just stop taking them.”

“For what? So I can only experience the side effects?”

“So talk to Leslie. Ask her to adjust the dosage.”

Tim made a hollow noise. “I’m already on the highest strength that’s considered ‘safe’ for human consumption.”

Dick pulled out his phone anyway and began dialing her number.

“I’m contacting her. There must be at least something else we can try.”

“Not Dr. Thompkins,” Tim whined, as if a toddler throwing a tantrum.

“Look, either you call to make an appointment, or I will.”

Tim seethed, grinding his teeth. “All right, fine. Jeeze. God, you and Barbara still both treat me like a fucking child.”

“Yeah well, maybe if you stop acting like one.”

“Whatever. Just hand me the phone. I’ll talk to her.”

Dick extended the cell towards Tim, who took it with all the enthusiasm of accepting a dirty sock.

“It’s ringing.”

He listened closely in on the conversation to confirm a meeting time was set up, before Tim returned the receiver.

“Here. She wants to talk to you.”

Dick lifted the mobile to his ear.

“Hey, doc.”

“Hello, Richard. It’s good to hear from you boys. How’s the back treating you?”

“Fine.” He didn’t want to dwell too much on his own health status, so he moved on to the matter at hand. “Is there anything we can do to help Tim?”

“In such a rare and unusual case as this, it’s hard to say. It’d be beneficial to start by identifying the root of his relapse. Once we pinpoint that, it’ll be easier to formulate a treatment plan. It’s possible it could just be due to the stress of moving to a new environment. It’s good that you’ve been able to help support him through high school, but now that he’s becoming independent it may be triggering a stronger separation anxiety response in him. Even if consciously he rejects it, the Joker ingrained himself as a parental figure in Tim’s mind. Essentially, he equates that kind of attention with the nurturing love and protection he never properly received growing up. It’s common for child victims of abuse to form a disorganized attachment to the caregiver, especially when the caregiver behaves in an inconsistent manner. The conflict of the caregiver being both a source of comfort and distress can cause the child to display contradictory patterns when faced with a stressful situation; instinct tells him to simultaneously avoid and approach the one who is mistreating him. In the absence of a familiar atmosphere he’s accustomed to, he’s likely seeking alternate methods of coping as a survival mechanism. Has he been under any kind of particular pressure lately?”

Dick relayed the events leading up to the fainting spell, with little input from Tim beyond affirmative nods.

“I see. It’s certainly a sign of progress that he’s trying to face his fears, but a heads-on approach might not be the best tactic.”

“I tried to tell him that. He won’t listen.”

“I’ll have a chat with him about it when I see him, hopefully we can find a way for him to succeed in his studies without compromising his sense of safety. One more question, this is important: Has he tried to harm himself?”

“I… don’t think so. I’ll check, and let you know.”

“Please do.”

As Dick temporarily terminated the exchange, he rotated to see Tim had stood up and was headed towards the door.

“Where do you think you’re going?”

“Out for a smoke – walk – whatever. Just text me when you need me.”

“Hold it.” The harsh bark arrested the boy before he was halfway to the exit. “Wrists.”

Tim swiveled with a sour countenance.

“Seriously? Do we really have to do this?”

“Show me.”

He hissed, but obediently rolled up his sleeves, revealing bare but apparently unmarked skin.

“Satisfied?”

Dick advanced and examined him all over anyway, before nodding.

“All right. Now empty your pockets.”

Tim tsked, feeling as violated as when the staff at the detention center frisked him on admittance for any concealed contraband. He dug through his possessions, retrieving objects one by one: phone, wallet, CD player, lighter, cigarettes, and finally – under Dick’s demanding eye – the hidden pocketblade.

“Give me the knife.”

He hesitated.

“Don’t make me wrestle it from you.”

Relinquishing, he slapped the weapon into Dick’s grip without a word.

“Thank you. You can go, but try to keep near.”

“Sure thing, Mom.”

Dick deliberately chose to ignore the sardonic retort, used to receiving attitude by now. (For a fleeting moment, he mused if he ever gave Bruce this much frustration, although no doubt Alfred would certainly attest to it.)

After Tim left, Dick hit redial to reassuringly inform Leslie on the observed lack of self-inflicted damage to the patient’s physical condition at least – and preemptive confiscation of means just to be safe – before bidding goodbye with a final beep. He sighed as he rubbed his neck, hoping his “tough love” hadn’t come off as too deterring. He really wasn’t good with this whole “parenting” thing, considering the primary role model he had for nearly half of his life after early adolescence.

As he picked up the memoir from the floor, he caressed his fingers feather-light over the cover, brushing off collected dust and disenchantment before delicately placing it on a shelf for easy viewing access. The rest he unceremoniously dumped in the “to toss” pile, purposefully cramming as much trash as he could on top. …After a few minutes though he fished them out again, rescuing from the base of the rubbish heap with ambivalent reluctance, restoring to the original package and sealing tightly with tape. They could remain upstairs for now at least – like his ruined Nightwing costume – evidence of old wounds and shattered bonds shuttered behind closed panel; tucked away in the dark recesses of his conscience, lurking and lingering deep in the shadows off-screen.

Out of sight, out of mind.

Two birds of a feather Say that they're always gonna stay together But one's never going to let go of that wire He says that he will But he's just a liar

#TimSteph #Tim Drake #Timmy Todd #Stephanie Brown #Dick Grayson #Batman the Animated Series #Batman Beyond #DCAU #Return of the Joker #fanfiction #starstories #Ironically Dick later gets a clone himself in the 'Hush Beyond' comic story arc #which is a mess in all sorts of ways but I'm considering canon for the sake of keeping 'continuity'#on the subject of the tie in comics though one thing I love about Gotham Adventures is how they highlight Dick's fondness for music #wherein his musical knowledge actually comes in handy to help solve a couple cases #if you haven't read the series I highly recommend doing so for a lot more extra character development and wonderful BatFam interactions <3 #also FYI all the photographs appeared in the show at some point #cookie to whoever guesses which ep each is from ;O #P.S. Happy Father's Day

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praximeter · 6 years

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Any stucky classics I can read. I am new to the fandom n all.

Hi nonnie! Welcome to the greatest fandom on earth. 😉 And thanks for writing in!

I sure do have some fic recs for you. Not sure what your jam is, so I’m gonna list out a couple of my favorites and you can go to town. Also, check out my fic recs tag!

Classic Stucky Fic Recs under the cut! And also, you should definitely check out the Influential Fics for New Readers post over at @thestuckylibrary.

to memory now I can’t recall by Etharei

Rating: Explicit | Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence

Additional Tags: Time Travel, World War II, Memory Loss, Time Loop, Alien Technology, Identity Porn

Summary: While on a mission storming a HYDRA facility, James Buchanan Barnes touches one of the many strange alien devices collected by the Red Skull. He does this, in fact, twice— in the past, and in the future.

Next thing he knows, Bucky Barnes is opening his eyes in the 21st century, which is full of great gadgets and coffee, and at least includes his old pal Steve. (And, inexplicably, a different Stark.) Meanwhile, the Winter Soldier finds himself in the middle of World War Two, helping Captain America hunt down HYDRA (which is at least familiar), pretending to be Bucky Barnes (which is not), and figuring out the very noisy group of soldiers who call themselves the Howling Commandos.

Comments: This is my one of my absolute favorite longfics in this fandom. It has everything: recovering!Bucky, time travel, tragic comparisons of Bucky’s past and current self, somewhat of a twist on outsider POV (in a weird way), and it is beautifully written and plotted.

This, You Protect by owlet

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences | Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings

Additional Tags: Humor, I hope humor anyway, cursing, Protection, Strong feelings about coffee, slightly off-canon, Steve is sassy, sam is sassy, Bucky is sassy, Everyone has their sassy pants on, just accept that grilled cheese is the perfect food, old people are Team Bucky

Summary: The mission resets abruptly, from objective: kill to objective: protect

Comments: This is typically most people’s entry for the “if you read one fic from this fandom” contest. Funny, clever, sweet, and a totally unique take on Bucky’s post-TWS mindset. Great fun and great sequels.

Ain’t No Grave (Can Keep My Body Down) by spitandvinegar

Rating: Mature | Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings

Additional Tags: Post-Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Drug Abuse, Homelessness, Jewish Bucky Barnes, Catholic Steve Rogers, Religious Imagery & Symbolism, Artist Steve Rogers, Identity Issues, POV Alternating, Not Avengers: Age of Ultron (Movie) Compliant, because I am a desert pony that runs as wild and free as the wind, Period Typical Attitudes, Masturbation, Past Peggy Carter/Steve Rogers, original kid characters, a coupla goddamn kids, Pinkberry, Past Rape/Non-con

Summary: It’s six in the morning, and Steve is heading out on a run when he nearly trips over a bouquet of sunflowers on the front steps of his brownstone.

For a second paranoia takes over, and he kicks the flowers a little, waiting for them to explode. They don’t. They also came with a card, which he picks up. The front of the card has a tasteful picture of the Brooklyn bridge at sunset. It’s very nice and sedate, like the kind of card you would buy to give to your boss. On the inside someone has written a short message in big, shaky block letters.

I AM SORRY FOR SHOOTING YOU.

Steve sits down hard on the steps.

Comments: A really inventive take on Recovering!Bucky, with a super rich backstory and a daring characterization.

4 Minute Window by Speranza (@cesperanza)

Rating: Explicit | Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Additional Tags: Surveillance, It’s Like Grand Central Station In Here, Brooklyn Boys, Power Couple, People Are Sick of Conceptual Art

Summary: “Look, if they catch me,” Bucky muttered, “they’re either going to kill me or they’re going to put me in a box with a little window and—Steve, I can’t.”

Comments: Okay, so if you don’t know @cesperanza, you are in for a treat. Her characterization of Bucky is one of my absolute favorites - he is competent and cool, and she writes him and everything he does so convincingly. That’s the hallmark of a speranza fic: you believe every word of it, and it always feels real. It’s a totally immersive story that continues out into a delightful series. Honestly, you should read everything that speranza has written for this fandom - especially 20th Century Limited.

Silent thunder, as of a thousand wings by kaasknot (@kaasknot)

Rating: Mature | Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings

Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Angels, angel!bucky, Religious Imagery, (Now with bonus sacrilege), Angst, Pining, Consent Issues, Agency issues, Gore typical of wartime, Period-Typical Ableism, Racism and racial slurs, PTSD, Flashbacks, Period-typical ignorance of PTSD, attempted suicide, Here there be Google translations, Bucky Barnes is a dirty liar, Steve is a chihuahua with aggression issues, thor is not an idiot, Everyone’s a grade-A potty mouth, Torture

Summary: A theologian once said that angels are constructs of love and holy rage, and chained to obedience through both. Or maybe a theologian hadn’t said that. Maybe it was the Bright One himself, or just Uriel being grumpy.

But Bucky knows that he loves Steve, and he loves his taskmaster of a boss even as he gripes about him over beers after work, and he loves the dames with their red, red lips and smooth, soft curves (and he loves the guys, loves their strength and the tall, proud lines of them), and he loves old Mrs. Greene even when her rheumatism acts up and she turns mean as a wet cat. But he loves Steve most of all, and if Bucky is shackled to mindless obedience because of it, he calls it a good trade, because Steven Grant Rogers is the best person he knows. When it comes down to it, he figures his desire only adds a new dimension to a love that was already there, glowing hot enough to burn.

He was sent to Earth in a cage of mortal flesh to watch over Steve, and Bucky can do no less than love him with all his heart.

Comments: A great, creative alternative universe story that that takes a difficult premise and executed it perfectly. The changes made to canon are so smart and it maintains the urgency and emotion and tragedy of canon while transforming it completely. And the OCs are amazing.

i need a forest fire by tomorrowsrain

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences | Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings

Additional Tags: Road Trip, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Hurt/Comfort, Angst, Reconciliation, Recovery, Past Torture, Fugitives, Post-Captain America: Civil War (Movie), Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Deaf Clint Barton, Fix-It, Jewish Bucky Barnes, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, On the Run, Developing Friendship, Healing, Past Brainwashing, Talking, some humor hopefully, Character Study

Summary: "The past beats inside me like a second heart. These fragments I have shored against my ruins."

In which Tony Stark makes a reckless decision, becomes a wanted fugitive, goes on the run with the former Winter Soldier, and learns how to forgive. For his part, Bucky Barnes is just trying to hold himself together. AU, post-Civil War.

(sequel of sorts to après nous le déluge, but can be read alone)

Comments: Love, love, love this story because it’s got Stucky AND Tony & Bucky friendship as well as a really smart characterization of Steve and Bucky.

The Crucible by Dreadnought (@dreadnought-dear-captain)

Rating: Explicit | Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Additional Tags: Post-Captain America: Civil War (Movie), Psychological Trauma, Brainwashing, Teamwork, Science, Bucky Barnes-centric, Hurt/Comfort, Psychological Torture, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Sexual Tension, Internalized Homophobia, Bad Parenting, Intergenerational Trauma, Suicidal Thoughts, Violence, Past Bucky Barnes/Various Female Characters, Sexual Content, Medical Torture, Psychology, POV Bucky Barnes, Hydra (Marvel), Emotional Roller Coaster, Stockholm Syndrome, Introspection, Unreliable Narrator, Trust Issues, Lots and lots of psychotherapy, Homophobic Language, Period-Typical Homophobia, Heavy Angst, Vomiting, Gaslighting, Anxiety, Depression, Recovery, Character Study, Explicit Sexual Content, Slow Build, Friends to Lovers, Psychologists & Psychiatrists, parasuicidal behavior, Therapy, therapy fic

Summary: Therapy's a bitch, but PTSD is worse. An in-depth character study of Bucky Barnes as he reconciles his years with Hydra in the wake of Civil War.

------

I don’t really know who I am. I do know that James Buchanan Barnes is dead. He’s a pile of bones at the bottom of a ravine. He’s a side bar in some other guy’s museum exhibit that might not even exist anymore. James Barnes would puke if he could see what he became. His parents and sister and friends would cry.

I don’t know what’s left over now, but I know it’s not good. And I don’t think it can ever be good.

Comments: This is the therapy fic. Dreadnought knows his stuff like nobody else and it hurts and it’s so good. You should definitely read this and then jump into his other fic, a WIP called Baghdad Waltz which will tear your heart out like nobody’s business. It’s a modern military AU, and 100% the best one ever written for this fandom.

#Anonymous #asks #fic recs

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araeph · 7 years

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Araeph’s Greatest Hits, Vol. 2

Vol. 1 here.

It’s Araeph’s 1000th post! Thank you so much to all my followers, people who’ve messaged me for discussion, and fans who’ve filled my inbox with such thought-provoking asks. Below is the latest master list of my essays and fiction that I’ve compiled over the past year or so, as well as a few choice reblogs from other tumblr users that are mentioned by name. Have a fantastic 4th of July, everyone!

Fic Recs

A:TLA Friendship Recs Favorite Zutara writers

Araeph’s fics

Hatchling, Part 1 Spitting Image, Part 1 Breath of Fire Confidants Sunrise Moonrise Love Is a Marathon Defiance, Part 1 Defiance, Part 2 Defiance, Part 3 Defiance, Part 4 Defiance, Part 5 Defiance, Part 6 Defiance, Part 7 Defiance, Part 8

Other Meta

Araeph’s fandoms Mulan: contrasting messages in pop song vs. theatrical song The arranged marriage plot in Mulan 2 Mulan and Shang: military dynamics vs. a relationship What did you think of the Red John arc in The Mentalist? Was the Jane/Lisbon pairing in The Mentalist treated well? Did Lizzy marry Darcy for his money? What advice do you have for up-and-coming authors? What do you think makes a good romance? Are there particular directors you gravitate towards?

Steven Universe Criticism

What are your favorite critiques of Steven Universe? Who did Pearl belong to before she joined the Crystal Gems? How Pearl responds to toughness vs. niceness Can autism explain Pearl’s behavior toward Greg? What do you think of Pearl’s character and her treatment of Steven? Are there similarities between Aang and Pearl’s clinginess to their partners? The Diamonds: taking “compassion for one’s adversaries” too far What do you think of the "Rose is Pink Diamond" theory? Rainbow Quartz: requited love I miss the way they used to draw Peridot The decline of Steven Universe

A:TLA Gen Criticism

I just don’t know how to feel about Bryke! How do you keep A:TLA’s flaws from ruining the show for you? Should Teo, Haru, and The Duke have had bigger roles in Book 3? Should there have been a scene where Aang mourns the dead at the end of Book 3? The structure of the first half of Book 3 Is energybending Ozai enough to delegitimize his rule? Could Aang lying to the tribes in “The Great Divide” have been handled better? Was the Fire Nation secretly looking for the Avatar in the Southern Water Tribe? Parallels between the Fire Nation Royal Family and the SWT chief family Does the GAang idealize their parents and mentors too much? The significance of Momo How did the characters age visually throughout A:TLA? Was Ozai an abusive spouse as well as father? Do you think the Avatar universe has a legitimate afterlife? Detachment and unlocking the chakras Avatar cosmology @peacockarehot What happens before each Avatar is old enough to master the elements? How well was the challenge of being the Avatar told in A:TLA and LOK?

A:TLA’s Four Nations

Four Nations and childhood education Four Nations’ view of sex and gender roles Four Nations: a food contest analysis Four Nations eye color What is the best way for the SWT to develop? What is your opinion on Water Tribe betrothal necklaces? Why an earthbender shouldn’t be able to lavabend alone Is the Earth Kingdom united under a cohesive value? What is your opinion on the Air Nomad council of elders? Did the Air Nomads get shortchanged in development? Is Ty Lee an untrained airbender? Stormbending What kind of benders would mixed heritage kids be? Could firebenders draw power from the Earth’s core? Can waterbenders heat water to create steam? Part 1 Can waterbenders heat water to create steam? Part 2 What is your favorite nation and what type of bender would you be? Who are your favorite minor characters from all four nations?

Alternative A:TLA Finale and Book 4 Speculation

Zutara would have been a better bookend, even with only 3 books How would the Book 3 Zutara moments change with Book 4? What should have been the theme of the A:TLA finale? What do you find disappointing about the A:TLA finale? Aaron Ehaz’s plan for A:TLA and beyond @kataraaandzuko @terminaschosenone Anything you would like to see from an A:TLA sequel? How do you see the relationships of the Gaang progressing through adulthood? How would hidden airbenders have been revealed? Koh in Book 4

A:TLA Comics Criticism

Rosy colonialism in “The Promise” “North and South” : a settler’s fantasy @fireladykatara “North and South” and the issue of progress The A:TLA comics do not follow A:TLA’s visual style Bryke’s interference in the comics What do you think of the role the Air Acolytes played in the comics?

Legend of Korra criticism

A:TLA vs. LOK: simple vs. complex beginnings LOK and inconsistent bending origins Which element is the hardest for an Avatar to learn? How would you write Korra’s development in Books 1-4? Mary Suyin How would you write Suyin Beifong? Suyin: complex vs. annoying characterization Zaheer and compelling belief systems Is Zaheer Korra’s foil? Thoughts on the Red Lotus What do you think of the concept of Raava and Vaatu? What do you think are the most well developed secondary characters in LOK? Varrick, Zhu Li, and abuse Could Makorra have become compatible? Bolin and Lavabending What do you think about the Dai Li surviving into the era of LOK? Bumi and Air Nomad colors Bryke’s extreme responses to fan theories How would a sequel to Legend of Korra play out?

Zutara Meta

A:TLA non-canon shippers keep A:TLA fandom afloat Zuko and Katara: Color symbolism in “Cave of Two Lovers” @marsreds Zuko and Katara: character parallels “Zutara is toxic and unhealthy!” (again) Zuko and Katara, twin flames @peacockarehot Zutara parallels with Darcy and Elizabeth Zutara parallels with Beauty and the Beast Blue Spirit/Painted Lady parallels The Blue Spirit vs. the Painted Lady Were the Blue Spirit and Painted Lady connected? How Zuko shows respect when saving Katara from falling rocks @theadamantdaughter Zuko and Katara’s parenting styles Zuko jumping in front of lightning was sacrificial What would young viewers learn from Zutara? On Zuko interacting more with the GAang Thoughts on School Time Shipping

“What Would [X] Gain from Zutara?” Katara Zuko Sokka Toph Suki Aang Mai Hakoda Iroh Azula Ozai Ursa and Kiyi The Fire Nation and Water Tribes The cabbage merchant

Kataang Criticism

Irrefutable proof that Kataang was NOT always going to be canon @peacockarehot Do you think Katara felt some pressure to date Aang? Kataang and unwanted advances (with @theadamantdaughter) Aang’s possessive behavior toward Katara @theadamantdaughter Why Aang’s behavior in “Love Is a Battlefield” is dangerous Love vs. attachment Does Aang respect Katara? Why “The Fortuneteller” is anti-Kataang Fanon Kataang vs. canon Kataang Could Katara and Aang still be happy together? Katara is aged down in scenes with Aang Kataang and the magic aging (with @jasubb-8) Does Aang’s age excuse his unwanted advances? What if Katara couldn’t give Aang an airbender? Will-they-won’t-they and Kataang Aang’s romances vs. Sokka’s romances @peacockarehot Kataang’s lack of substance in “The Headband” Kataang’s lack of substance in “The Cave of Two Lovers”

Maiko Criticism

Would Ty Mai be more compatible than Maiko? Ty Mai and understanding each other Were Zuko and Mai’s relations consensual? with @theadamantdaughter Why Maiko is prime for failure @peacockarehot Maiko, Zutara, and Conflict @theadamantdaughter The pitfalls of Maiko @peacockarehot Is Maiko or Kataang worse? Is Maiko or Kataang worse? – part 2 Why do Maiko shippers ignore the problems in their ship? Mai never dated the real Zuko Pros and Cons of Maiko

Character Analysis

Aang How would you have written Aang’s character development from Books 1-3? Aang exalting Air Nomad culture above everyone else’s Should Aang’s introspection have followed Buddhist tenets more closely? Rewriting energybending to improve Aang’s character @terminaschosenone Should Aang have had a more prominent teacher or guide? Do you think Aang’s grief at the loss of the Air Nomads was properly presented? Why was Aang not worried about killing Ozai on the Day of Black Sun? Aang vs. the vulture wasp Aang’s reaction to the other Avatars’ advice Aang’s reaction to Yangchen’s advice Aang’s response to Jetara Aang’s anger vs. Katara’s Did Aang truly exhibit contrition for the EIP kiss? How Aang idealizes Katara Did Aang really know how Katara felt because of his own loss? Who would be a good match for Aang?

Azula Could the dragons heal Azula? Do you think any little part of Azula ever loved Zuko? Azula’s motivations for the lightning strike Azula’s motivations for the lightning strike, Part 2 Would Katara feel a moral obligation to help Azula post-A:TLA? How would Azula have compelled Mai to go with her initially if Mai had refused?

Iroh Iroh’s character journey Do Iroh’s values align better with Mai’s or Katara’s? Maiko shipper bashes Iroh and Zuko Zuko and Iroh’s relationship parallels with Jim Hawkins and Long John Silver

Katara Katara and her emotional iceberg Katara would have been more independent if she’d married Zuko Katara puts her emotional needs in front of Aang’s Katara is abandoned at the South Pole Katara crying over Aang vs. Zuko Did Katara’s character development stall? Should Katara have been at the Boiling Rock? Should Katara have forgiven Zuko earlier? Katara lashing out at Sokka during Southern Raiders How do you think Kya would feel about the Southern Raiders? Would it have been in character for Katara to murder Yon Rha? Why does Katara’s character become so irrelevant? @zuzusexytiems Why Katara is not a Mary Sue @daughter-of-water @theadamantdaughter Why do people continually try to make excuses for Katara not fighting in LOK?

Mai What would Mai’s ideal character arc be? Mai doesn’t understand Zuko’s values @honxrable What personality would be best for Mai’s partner? Was Mai originally going to be a villain? Is there any evidence that Mai was scared of Azula? Debunking Mai’s affection for Tom-Tom

Sokka Sokka’s quest to be a man On Sokka seeing Katara’s face instead of his mother’s Sokka’s protective nature

Toph Could Toph and her parents reconcile? Toph and law enforcement

Zuko Is Zuko emotionally unstable? How would Zuko handle the issue of bloodbending? Was Zuko more open in Book 2 or Book 3? Hair cutting symbolism in A:TLA Do you think Zuko has PTSD? Zuko and Aang’s relationship Locations of Zuko’s Agni Kais and their significance The symbolism of Zuko’s scar Zuko is not stoic (@honxrable) Why I Feel Zuko’s Betrayal Was to End Zutara @peacockarehot Piandao as Zuko’s mentor

#a:tla #zutara #anti-kataang #anti-maiko #avatar: the last airbender

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just-another-sickfic-blog · 7 years

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Challenge Accepted Part 2

Since I unintentionally broke a few people with the “Challenge Accepted” story, I return with part 2 to make amends. This took longer than anticipated but here it is. For those who want to see the Part 1, you can find it here.

Without further ado, I present you part 2

Fandom: Voltron

Characters: Lance, Shiro, Keith, Hunk, Pidge with slight mentions of Allura and Coran.

Trigger Warnings: No trigger warnings apply

Rating: G+

Word count: 1,800

Summary: A continuation from the “Challenge Accepted” fic in which Shiro finds out.

While the Glara attack had not been anticipated, the paladins still managed to command enough focus to emerge victorious -- even when they had been viciously pulled from sleep in the way they were. Shiro couldn't help but puff his chest in pride. It was amazing to witness his teenagers form Voltron in the short amount of time they knew each other. Perhaps it was the responsibility of the situation that had been thrust upon them, but he was proud of how well they had been able to work together and how quickly and inseparable bond amongst themselves and their lions. It just proved that with a little bit of hard work, understanding and communication, even a small group of seven people could shake what was once considered the invincible Galra Empire.

Shiro could not see any damage to his naked eye when the paladins returned their lions to the hangar. Still though; that did not mean there wasn’t any. It was amongst the top priorities that any damage to the lions both obvious and elusive was caught and fixed. Like an unchecked injury, any damage could result in disastrous consequences if left unchecked. The job of searching for any damage afflicted on the lions was assigned to both Lance and Keith. The job itself would take a minimum of an hour and a half but after taking into the inevitable bickering into consideration, Shiro suspected that the time of the job would be pushed to at least two and a half hours. Plenty of time for the resident tech expert and their engineer to bring the rocket launchers of the castle back online. Shiro had planned this to be as efficient as possible amongst two teens were considered less than efficient and -- Shiro turned his head in response to the door hissing open. Keith was hunched on the door, his hands on his knees taking a moment to catch his breath. He had just sent them to the hangars a couple minutes ago. What could have happened between them and now?

“Lance is,” He inhaled deeply, trying to catch his breath. “Sick. Like, really sick.”

Both Hunk and Pidge had stopped in midst of their work, each wearing identical expressions of concern.

“What?” Shiro said sharply.

“I just found out!” Keith said quickly, trying to deflect the blame. “He was kind of out of it when I tried to talk to him and it was walking in random directions. It turned it he was running a wicked fever. I took him to his room.”

And then Pidge spoke up.

“I-I knew he was sick…I didn’t think he was that bad.”

Shiro jerked his head around.

“You knew?!”

“Hey,” Pidge held up her hands. “Don’t look at me. He was fighting with Keith over a blanket. I figured that if he had enough energy to fight, whatever he had wasn’t that bad.”

“Keith?” Shiro said sharply. “Did you know about this beforehand?”

“We all knew.” Hunk said, jumping to his friends’ defence. “He was behaving really weird during training yesterday. I did say that, didn’t I

“And no one thought to tell me, the leader of Voltron and the paladin of the Black Lion?”

Yesterday…. Shiro mused. That meant --

“He was piloting Blue ill! Does anyone really know what the consequences could have been for either Lance or for the entire team?!”

“Shiro --” Keith began.

“They attacked us in the middle of the night when we were all dead asleep!” Pidge retorted over Keith. “I doubt that even Lance had the time to reflect on how he was feeling!”

Shiro had opened his mouth to retaliate against the youngest Paladin when the sharp twang of an Altean tool against the ship’s metallic material yanked them from their argument. Hunk was on his feet twisting the tool in his hands.

“Um guys, I really hate to interrupt you from this important conversation, but shouldn’t someone, oh I don't know, CHECK ON HIM??!!!”

Pidge, Keith and Shiro went slack-jawed. Was it possible to argue about someone’s condition and simultaneously forgetting about them? Shiro would have laughed at the irony of the statement a long time ago.

“Okay. Keith, come with me. Pidge and Hunk, continue to work to bring the engines back online.”

“No way!”

“We’re coming with you!” Pidge exclaimed, adding into Hunk’s statement. Shiro resisted the urge to press his good hand to his forehead. Of course, they would want to contribute directly to their friend’s recovery. He couldn’t find it within himself to blame them though. They had known him longer and more personally in the academy than Keith had. Shiro himself had only met the boy when he had crashed onto earth in that Galra pod. His mind pictured Lance, shaking from a chill only he could feel muttering words he could not comprehend. Lance’s exposure to people needed to be limited to the bare minimum, as not to overwhelm him. If they could get him to a healing pod --

Shiro stopped abruptly, resulting in Keith crashing into his back.

“Shiro…” Keith muttered, rubbing his nose. “What are you --”

“The healing pods are damaged,” Shiro stated, interrupting Keith. “Get Hunk to help Coran get the healing pods fixed and go and help Pidge with getting the engines back online. Make sure you listen to what she says, she knows what she’s doing.” Keith nodded, though frowning. It seemed like he could not get a word in without being cut off. Shiro continued down a series of hallways until arriving at the hallway that contained their quarters.

Shiro punched in the override code to Lance’s room, a puff of air being released as the door opened. Lance was not in his bed as Keith had told him, but in a tight ball by the door. The blanket was in a pile on the ground, suggesting that Lance had crawled out himself. Shiro had almost tripped over him. He slowly lowered himself onto the floor, saying his name in a calm low voice, making sure the blue Paladin was aware of his presence. The fever was exhibiting itself plainly, flushing his tanned face in an unhealthy shade of red. Perspiration plastered his bangs and he could see trails leading from his neck and into the collar of his shirt.

Shiro grasped Lance’s biceps and gently pulled him forward. Lance sluggishly raised his head, his unfocused eyes sliding back and forth over Shiro’s face.

“Sh-iro…?”

“I’m here bud.” He murmured. He adjusted Lance in his arms, his right arm supporting his head while his left pressed against his forehead to at least grasp on how high the fever was. Lance cried out and pried himself from Shiro and crawled away to the opposing wall. Shiro glanced down at his hand trying to figure out where he went -- oh. Oh.

Shiro slowly inched towards the slightly delirious Paladin, this time using his human hand to touch Lance. Lance flinched away from his touch, but relaxed when he felt the natural warmth from Shiro’s human hand slip through his skin as opposed to the cold Galra metal.

“Sorry about that. It was pretty cold, wasn’t it?”

“D-definitely…” Lance chattered out.

“Can you tell me what’s wrong?”

Lance allowed a slight nod.

“R-really cold… m’ head hurts and I just feel…” He frowned, seemly trying to find the right word. “Weird.” He concluded. Shiro nodded.

“You’ll feel better. I promise.” Shiro said, slipping his arms around Lance and lifting him to his bed. He lifted the dark blanket.

“Shiro…?”

“Yes?”

“I’m not in trouble, am I?”

“Why would you be in trouble?”

“ ‘Cause I didn’t do the thing you asked me….”

“Listen.” Shiro said, tucking the blanket around his thin frame. “You’re not in trouble. But next time you aren't feeling 100% you must tell me okay?”

The door hissed and Shiro turned to cast a look over his shoulder. Keith had entered, with a bowl in one hand and a small metal device in the other.

“The engines are back online and Pidge and Hunk are working with Coran to get the healing pods back online. Allura gave me some stuff to help lower the fever. She said she’ll be by with medicine later on.”

“Good. Thanks Keith.”

He placed the bowl onto the floor beside Shiro. He could see now that a water pouch with a few cloths draped over the edge of the bowl. The device was placed in his metallic hand.

“What’s this?” Shiro inquired, raising an eyebrow.

“Allura said it was some sort of Altean thermometer. Apparently, all you have to do is put it on his forehead and it does the rest.”

“Oh!” Keith began to dig into his breast pocket and pulled out a small piece of paper. “Pidge did the temperature conversations as well.”

Shiro received the sheet and smoothed it out while placing the small device on Lance’s forehead, who groaned and flinched at the cold, foreign device.

“Give us a moment bud. We’ve gotta take your temperature.”

At first, nothing happened. Then thin metal rods resembling spider’s legs sprouted from the sides of the device and lightly pressed into the skin of Lance’s forehead.

“Shiro? What’s happening?” Lance asked, voice rising.

Shiro reached over and grasped Lance’s wrist.

“Everything’s alright. You’re just getting your temperature’s just being checked.”

Two round blue balls that could be eyes popped up from the top of the device and a “mouth” that had the appearance of a duck’s bill. Keith grew more and more concerned, subconsciously taking a few steps back. Shiro held his metal hand at ready in the rare occurrence that the foreign device could prove harmful. The bill opened its mouth and --

“30.4852 heat quotients.”

The device drew the rods back into itself and the “eyes” and duck bill sunk back into the top, just like it was before.

Keith was all too quick to remove the device while Shiro’s eyes ran over the sheet with Pidge’s calculations.

“40.3. His fever’s 40.3.”

Shiro couldn’t panic. The leader of the Paladins of Voltron could not panic. That would cloud his own judgement and send the others into a panic. He punctured the water pouch, squeezing the liquid into the bowl. He submerged one of the cloths, wrung it out and gently patted it to Lance’s forehead.

“Why is it so cold?” He slurred, jerking his head to the side, throwing the cloth onto the pillow beside him.

“I know bud,” Shiro said softly, placing the cloth back on. “You have to keep it on. You’ll feel better if you do.”

Lance muttered something incomprehensible while Shiro allowed a groan.

Please Lance. Just wait until a little longer. The pods will be ready in a little bit. Just hold on until then.

#voltron #lance mcclain #takashi shirogane #keith kogane #katie pidge holt #hunk garrett #fever #langst #challenge accepted part 2 #no tw apply

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ladyfawkes · 4 years

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What Rapunzel’s Tangled Adventure Means to Me aka Welcoming Ghosts of my Past

“When Eugene called Rapunzel Sunshine, I felt that...”

Confession: I feel this each and every time Eugene says this. Especially since Sunshine is an actual nickname of mine. My heart skips a beat because….it’s what my fiancé used to call me. And I say “used to” because he passed away before we could get married. It’s high time I explained to everybody the reason why I glommed onto Tangled the Series for dear life…since I’ve been putting it off for the past 4 months. Got less than a week left til the series finale….. and this series came along right when I needed it. When I began getting deeper into Tangled fandom, it wasn’t until around later October 2019. I was feeling a real hankering for more of Eugene Fitzherbert’s singing voice. Confession 2: Until Autumn 2019, I had NO IDEA that Zachary Levi had voiced Flynn Rider, both speaking AND singing!! At the time, the main thing that drew me to Flynn was his singing voice. I never forgot that. Like so many others, I fell in love with Tangled’s soundtrack and specially with “I See the Light” and “I’ve Got a Dream”, etc. Confession 3: I’ve had a crush on Zachary Levi ever since the first episode of Chuck. Even though Chuck’s social and emotional insecurities are a rather enormously huge humorous part of the plot, the way Zach portrayed that anxiety and other types of raw emotions were real. He possesses a markedly rare ability to elicit laughter and tears within the same scene, and sometimes within the very same moment of a scene. While it’s an exceptional gift to exhibit that ability, it nearly always means that underneath it all, the reason why you can perceive this type of emotion so plainly from any given actor is because they’ve experienced those feelings on a personal level in their private lives. Nobody ever told me this, it’s something I learned through observation. It’s true of writers too…and composers. The best way to telegraph emotion through a given medium to someone else is often by having initially having experienced those emotions for yourself. It wouldn’t be until years after Chuck began that Zach would feel comfortable enough to share his mental health history with his fans…and we’d begin to learn just how deep he truly is. With all of this in mind, I was perusing YouTube with the intent of finding more of “Flynn Rider’s singing voice” and imagine my shock & delight when a whole bunch of Tangled the Series and Tangled Before Ever After songs showed up in my search!!! Then I Looked up the fan wikia only to discover that it was none other than our dear Zachary Levi who had voiced Eugene Fitzherbert!!! I got positively thrilled and was already on Cloud Nine before I’d even begun watching it. Despite Disney’s, uh, thorny history with spinoffs, I couldn’t help but be excited as I learned most of the original cast had returned as well!! I queued up Tangled Before Ever After and was instantly transported, instantly fell in love. I truly did not expect to be as drawn to Eugene as I was….in the film version, I wasn’t so sure about him….but I gravitated toward him immediately in the series. At first, I really didn’t know why. The feeling seemed familiar somehow and again….I didn’t know why. I couldn’t figure it out. As I watched the first few episodes, I was constantly live-gushing (that’s akin to live-tweeting, only over Messenger instead) about the show with my friend Samara as I watched; Sammeh is also a Tangled superfan. I was continually talking about how it was the Disney’s best spinoff I had ever seen, how I was shocked that they cast SO MANY original cast members, original songwriters, etc. I can unequivocally state I haven’t loved an animated series this much in my life, even as a child. Then I was describing how much I could not get over the healthy, loving relationship portrayed between Eugene and Rapunzel. As I sat describing it, I suddenly said, “Oh my gosh. Sammeh…..” And it caused me to freeze. Even though Sam had known my former fiancé just as long as we’d known each other, I didn’t know if Sam would think I was nuts for suggesting that certain aspects of Eugene’s personality reminded me of Anthony. After a long pause, I typed as much to her, “I don’t know if I should say this to you…..” yet I needn’t have worried, because Sam completed my thought for me: “You’re gonna say he’s like Anthony.” I was so surprised I said, “YES!!! How did you know I was gonna say that?!” ”Easy. Because I’ve seen it too.” In spite of myself, I wept after she said that. So it wasn’t just imaging it. I’m getting teary-eyed now just thinking about it. The love between Eugene and Rapunzel reminds me of the love I had with my Anthony. Anthony was not intimidated by my inner strength, we took turns rescuing each other, he was willing to listen to me talk for hours and hours and hours and I did the same with him, we took turns forever teasing one another, we couldn’t ever stay angry with each other, we always talked things out. He was forever encouraging my talents and dreams. We hung out with an unlikely, rag-tag group of friends. And especially the way Eugene caresses Rapunzel’s face, kisses her forehead….and spontaneously says the most heart-melting romantic things…..that was just like my Anthony. And of course, he called me “The light in my life….My Sunshine.” Now….while Anthony didn’t die while rescuing me from an enemy, his was a sacrifice of a different kind….for shortly before he passed, he was experiencing far too much mental strife….never once did he self-disclose this, though….and unfortunately, we didn’t learn until after the fact. It became apparent he felt his only way out was to take his own life. Needless to say, I crawled into a very dark place after he died. I tried very hard not to….but over the prior 18 months I’d already lost so very much. I’d lost a job, loss of place to live, for months, I was being literally starved by my abusive-prior-ex-boyfriend ….I just shriveled up inside due to self-doubt, self-hatred, and I couldn’t speak about anything. Even from 1800 miles away at the time, Anthony managed to be the one person to draw it all out of me. (I was estranged from most family at the time – with good reason) and I told him everything….and he listened to all of it, never interrupting, never judging, never being anything but his amazing self. Somehow, after two years of friendship and listening to one another, Anthony had fallen in love with me….even though all of the garbage I told him. To this day, I do not know what he saw in me. But something inside knew that if I could just strive to put good things surrounding that fateful date, its anniversary would lose its sting and I could heal and live the way Anthony would’ve wanted me to live. Although I’d described some of the lowlights, I’ve definitely had moments in my life that have filled me with much love and light. I’ve been so very scared to type all of this out, put it all out there, for fear of being…..judged. Ridiculed. You know how the internet can be……naturally there’s a lot more to this story that I would like to share with you yet this has already become prohibitively lengthy. The whole point is to say that it’s been nearly 14 long years since I last heard Anthony’s light sweet southern drawl. And through the magical medium of Rapunzel’s Tangled Adventure, this show effectively allowed me the heartwarming and bittersweet chance to feel a small part of his love within my life again. I don’t know quite how it happened….but happen it did….right when I needed it. Anthony and I were very flirty and silly and ridiculous as a couple, just the way you would expect two twitter-pated people to be….the way Eugene calls Rapunzel “Sunshine” and caresses her cheek….the way he looks at her ….with his heart is full of so much love that it touches his warm brown eyes….those things remind me most of Anthony. Hopefully you can see why it’s been so difficult to, ah, self-disclose this information about myself. So…..thank you for that from the bottom of my heart, Disney, Chris Sonnenburg, Shane Prigmore, Tara Nicole Whitaker, Tom Caulfield, Stephen Sandoval, Zachary Levi, Mandy Moore, Eden Espinoza, James Iglehart, Jeremy Jordan, Kevin Kleisch, Alan Menken, Glenn Slater, Anna Lencioni, and anybody else whom I’ve missed…..though I’ve only been a superfan for 4 months, I don’t know what I’m gonna do without this singularly unique show in my life!!

#tw #personal stories #rapunzel's tangled adventure #anecdotes #eugene fitzherbert #rapunzel #rta #tangled the series #tts #mental health #suicide #depression

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erza-liao · 7 years

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Three years (Kaitlyn and MC fan fiction)

Note: This is a bit long, but I hope you guys will appreciate it. I have already started this weeks ago as an entry for the Choices Creates round with the prompt kitchen. But being so busy lately, the round closed and I’m only halfway through. I decided to finish it anyway and then the prompt for this week was released and I found a way to merge it with this week’s prompt. This is my entry for Choices creates round 12.

Sooooo, @hollyashton and the rest of the fandom, here it goes. Happy reading!

—

Good morning, sunshine! Got you this before walking to class. Drink it up before it gets too cold. I love you! See you in the evening. xoxo

P.S. Wish me luck for my song presentation today! I couldn’t have done this if you didn’t help me with the lyrics! P.P.S. You’re drooling! But still beautiful, don’t you worry sweetheart. *grin*

I smile to myself as I finished reading the note beside a cup of coffee on the bedside table. On the cup is my name with a heart icon beside it. I drink my first sip and take time to realize how lucky I am to have Kaitlyn. For the span of our three-year relationship, she never failed to make me happy even with the little things, despite of being busy especially now that we are in our senior year.

Yes, it has been more than three years since the day I bumped to Chris, splashed with Kaitlyn in a bikini, appreciated Abbie’s artwork for the first time, and spent the first night at the rooftop together with my suitemates. We still do, though, even if all six of us have gone different ways to pursue our passions. Chris had rerun for the student council president position several times, and had won in every single one of them. I always believe that being a Public Administration major has given him an additional edge against his opponents. Tyler took Information Technology and is bound to finish his own mobile game. Abbie pursued Fine Arts, and has already accomplished putting up several art exhibits to showcase her works. Zack took up Fashion and Design, and plans on having his own clothing line in the future. James had found a new agent who’s willing to bring his original play to life. He’s back in LA and is very busy with the movie right now. Zig is a major in Mathematics, a consistent Dean’s Lister and a candidate for honors in graduation, continuing to uphold that the Second Chance scholarship program is indeed possible! Kaitlyn, obviously, continued pursuing her career in music. She is the lead vocalist of The Perfect Circle, a band she joined after she quit Gutter Kittens. They’ve been playing together for almost two years now, and three of their original singles have been hits across many social media platforms. I won’t be surprised if Kaitlyn will be signing her first recording contract right after graduation. I pursued a career in journalism. I am now in the process of writing my third novel, the second sequel to the novel I first wrote for Professor Vasquez.

The clock reads 8:10 AM. Kaitlyn’s music composition class had started ten minutes ago. I take one last sip of coffee before pulling out my phone and typed:

To: Kaitlyn

Good luck on your song performance! Go on and nail it! I know you can do it. I love you! xoxo

My relationship with Kaitlyn is one heck of a roller coaster ride. There are so much good times – from the romantic dinner dates, spontaneous movie nights, adventurous hiking days, late night booty calls, to the exchange of flirty, sweet text messages – I only found myself falling for her more and more every single day. But just like any other relationship, bad times happen as much as the good times. Time came when Kaitlyn became very jealous of Becca, when I felt bad thinking that Kaitlyn isn’t proud of being my girl in front of her high school gang, or when both of us struggled to make time for each other. There were also times when we wouldn’t speak to each other days after a fight, for the argument to cool down, for the heart to heal, and for the mind to wander for a bit. And as it is said, not all who wander are lost. Sometimes, it will just make you realize that you will always tend to come back to where you truly belong. And that’s how it goes for me and Kaitlyn. We belong to each other and nothing’s going to change it.

My phone buzzes and Kaitlyn’s name appears on the screen.

Thank you babe! You don’t know how nervous I am now!

Don’t be, silly. You’ll do great! By the way, I’ll see you at dinner. Wear your best!

My best? For what?

I laugh upon reading her reply. I’m thinking she might be forgetting something.

On Fridays, Kaitlyn’s schedule is more packed than mine. My classes already ends at 2 o'clock in the afternoon while hers ends at 5, not to mention her band practice that lasts up to 7 o'clock in the evening. I’m the lucky one today; I have lots of time to prepare for my plans tonight.

Before the sun sets, I find myself standing at the kitchen, looking around to check if everything is perfect. Lights are slightly dimmed, giving way for the candles at the table’s center and some are scattered at the floor. The food is already set – from the appetizer to the main course to the triple chocolate cake dessert – at the bar counter, which is now covered with white linen. The table is also covered with white cloth, chairs placed on its opposite sides, two sets of eating utensils placed above it. Rose petals are also scattered on the floor to add to the romantic vibe of the setup.

I then look down on myself, smoothing the white, floral dress I am wearing. I glanced up the clock and it reads 6:37 PM. Kaitlyn will be home at any moment.

Not for so long, the suite’s doorknob clicks. The door opens and there emerges Kaitlyn, wearing the same red dress she wore during our first formal together. Her hair is tied up and she is holding a bouquet of flowers in one hand. She smiles widely at me as she sees my reaction.

No, she had never forgotten.

I greeted her with a long passionate kiss, and after she pulls away, she said, “Happy anniversary, babe.”

I tell her the first words my tongue could find, “How… I thought you forgot.”

She hands me the bouquet before answering, “How could I forget the day I became the luckiest girl in the world?” She grins.

I smile at her as I take the flowers from her hand. I set them on the table first and pull out a small paper bag. I gestured at her, “Here, I have something for you, too.”

I unpacked the paper bag’s contents and reveal a silver bracelet similar to the lucky charm bracelet I lend her when she almost failed all her subjects during our first spring term. The pendants of the bracelet include two female symbols joined together, a musical note, a zombie, a heart and a letter E – each representing different sides of her personality.

Her eyes follow my hand as I clasp the bracelet around her wrist. I could sense the genuine happiness in her eyes when she turned them back at me and hugged me. I returned the embrace and whispered, “Happy third anniversary, babe. I love you.”

She replied, “I love you, too.”

I pull away and lead her to the dining table. I pull her seat for her before sitting in mine, and tonight, we both have the dinner of our lifetime.

#choicesstoriesyouplay #choices #choicescreates #kaitlyn #kaitlynliao #kaitlynxmc #the freshman #pixelberry

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