#every time i think abt this being the only area you can really draw with your walking path and how so many ppl chose to start drawing heart

[holistichiatus]

Apotheosis

#holistichiatus #journey game #journey ps3 #digital painting #every time i think abt this being the only area you can really draw with your walking path and how so many ppl chose to start drawing heart #for their companions i just #[breaks down sobbing] #play this game if you haven't i'm begging you

[wintrsss]

『S/O with High Level DOOMs』

Fandom: Death Stranding.

Characters: Sam, Higgs, Cliff.

Request: Can you maybe do Headcannons for a reader with high level DOOMS? Like sometimes just forgetting that (other then higgs) their S/O doesn't have DOOMS like they do? Not in like a dangerous situation but more like teleporting behind them and scaring them accidentally. How would they react and so on with things that just come with being a high level?

Genre: Fluff, Headcanon.

Warnings: None. Reader is gender neutral!

A/N: I'm sure you only wanted Sam and Higgs, but I included Cliff bc I love him <3 let's pretend he knows abt DOOMs

Requests open!

.ೃ࿐

-

Sam Porter Bridges

You'll scare the hell outta him if you teleport without letting him know about it, but with how reticent he is, you probably wouldn't notice

He only knows a handful of people who have DOOMs and only two can teleport, it's rare for him to see one who can. Can't blame him for getting a little alarmed

He is more than happy to pass you some spare cryptobiotes in the case you getting tired from teleporting. You clearly need them more than he does

He will get a little worried once you tell him you're at a high level, with all the repercussions it has, but other than that, he won't dwell on it too much

Sam isn't very good at dealing with emotional problems, but he is a good listener. If you need an ear to talk to about those nightmares, he'll stay quietly at your side. Sometimes he'll say some things that Amelie told him to make him feel better, hoping they'll help you too

He'd rather you not resort to any sort of violence unless it's self defense; there's no need for it. But hey, if you really wanna let off some steam, you should do it to the MULEs or something to clear the area for future porters. Do some good with it at least, right?

-

Higgs Monaghan

Half of him is excited to see you at a higher level like he is, the other half wants to show his superiority to you in every way

Sure, you can teleport like he can, but can you control BTs? Nuh uh, didn't think so

So yeah, with the many times he tries to brush aside your dooms abilities as less than par (compared to him), he's totally forgotten at least once

But after the first scare, you wont get him again! That's a promise!

With nightmares however, he may not understand your fear in them, seeing as he's already accepted mass extinction. He'll probably just tell you to go back to sleep without any thought

But if he sees you really shook from it, he'll at least try to comfort you, but it'll end up seeming really half-assed; he's just not used to cheering people up

Higgs isn't gonna be the one to dissuade you from any violent urges you may experience with DOOMs, in fact he's going to fuel the fire and encourage you to act upon these thoughts. Only thing he draws the line at is you hurting yourself

-

Cliff Unger

I would not advise trying to scare him with your teleporting because you WILL get put to the ground

He wasn't an army captain for no reason, his reflexes undoubtedly prove that

But with how tired you get from doing that, Cliff strongly advises you to not use it so often, especially if it's for your own pleasure of getting a reaction out of him

You having DOOMs fascinates him, he'd love to learn more if you're willing to tell him about it

He can empathize to an extent on the nightmares you receive from this condition, having had plenty of his own in the past, he'll do his best to try to comfort you during the bad ones, rubbing your back and whispering soft affirmations to you

He knows he doesn't have to, but he likes to wipe away your chiral tears

Cliff doesn't want you following the same path of destruction he's gone to, so he'll keep on eye out in any changes in your behavior so that he can help in any way he can

#death stranding #death stranding fanfic #death stranding x reader #cliff unger x reader #higgs monaghan x reader #sam porter bridges x reader #cliff unger #clifford unger #clifford unger x reader #death stranding headcanons #sam porter bridges #higgs monaghan

[moregraceful]

sincerepostin about friendship under the cut, which i'm only cutting bc it's long as shit

found myself going aw man i didn't do anything today :/ tonight and had to remind myself that actually i got bloodwork done and went to class and! picked up bunny from the airport to take her to bex's house. and then i was thinking abt how isn't helping a friend the most productive action we can take. AND THEN (bear with me, i'm getting to the point), i was thinking abt how a couple years ago i was feeling really stuck in a rut with my offline friendships bc a lot of my close childhood friends were moving and another offline friend group had completely imploded in a really miserable way. and then a bunch of my offline friends all started telling me i needed to get out there and make more friends.

but i was working full time at a job i hated with a two hour commute every day and the last thing i wanted to do after work was go out and socialize with new people in a space where i had to watch my behavior and not be unhinged on main. i just did not have the energy to face performing a certain kind of self when i was pissed off about work and mad abt bay area traffic. i really just wanted to post dumb shit to uncoil my brain from being stressed out all day. so i said ok, if i don't have the energy to go to bars or social clubs, i'm gonna make an effort with my online friendships. i'm gonna try to talk to people more and i'm going to try to open conversations with strangers and i'm going to try to stay awake and engaged with my existing online friendships and not just take it for granted that we will always find each other.

and that was hard! bc it doesn't come easily to me! i have a lot of social anxiety in every space! (but kasper, i hear u say, you literally work a job where you have interact with new people every day. YES but that's a performance. a worksona.) but like i tried and kept trying and i did start cultivating new online friendships and nourishing old ones and this whole year has just been example after example of like. i have more online friends! and some of those online friends are now offline friends bc they're local! some of those online friends visit me regularly! i have casual acquaintances and close friends of the online and offline and online-offline variety and my life IS more enriched by all of that! in some ways it's even making me a better friend to friends i've known for a long time who are not terminally online! (not in all ways, to be honest. but in some ways. i've gotten better at thinking, ok, maybe i need to talk to this person and see if we can go to a baseball game or make dinner bc we haven't seen each other in a while. and it's not embarrassing if it's bc i miss them.)

it's still like. EXCRUCIATINGLY hard to start a conversation with a stranger in literally any online or offline space for me outside of my jobs, but it's gotten a lot easier than it used to be. i'm a lot less afraid of trying, in both online and offline spaces. like what is the worst that can happen, someone doesn't respond to a message? someone at a hockey game thinks i'm cringe? how does that make my life worse in any meaningful way, people are allowed to draw boundaries in what they engage with online and i AM cringe. it's gotten easier and life is way less of a chore these days.

like very wonderfully the baby goat guy WAS right, we MUST engage in the mortifying ordeal of being known, but the mortifying ordeal of known isn't always getting blasted for being vulnerable, sometimes the mortifying ordeal is just going, ok, time to try. and then trying

friendship ✨

#fresno oilers.txt #spiritually this is a livejournal post except i wasn't old enough to have this much self-awareness when i was livejournal poster

[hauntedtotem]

Do you have any drawing tips?

•When it comes to digital art, if you struggle making lines clean or sharp enough, using a textured brush erases that struggle because the whole point is not being clean or sharp.

^left is obvious where mistakes were made and had to be erased, looks choppy and needs cleaned up. right does not need cleaned up much. saves time and energy!

•if a drawing looks a little too bland or unfinished, but you don't know what else to do about it, adding a texture overlay does a lot, especially for solid backgrounds

•For both traditional and digital artists, do👏art👏studies👏. No, this doesn't mean sign up for expensive art classes, it means spend a page in a sketchbook just practicing one thing. So instead of drawing say, a character portrait like usual, have a page that's just full of hands in different poses (use references! Very important for studies!)

2016 example, but you can tell which ones had references (hint: only 3 of them did,but they're way better than the rest)

the only recent example I had was an unfinished page of bird skulls :/

Which brings me toooo

Learning to draw realistic skeletons can also really help with anatomy, if your character looks wonky, think "could a skeleton fit in there?"

Thinking abt how their skeleton looks can help notice things like the eyes being too high up or the mouth being too low, or having no room for a brain

*this is not a dig at people with this style! It's okay to have more exaggerated features and you don't need to draw realism! The skeleton rule does not apply to cartoony characters obviously. Just some advice from someone that used to put the mouth too low all the time

•if you get stuck where you feel like you aren't improving, try different art styles out.

•If you have art block and don't know what to draw, try the 'dtiys' or 'draw this in your style' tags and pick something there, or do screenshot redraws from games or shows

•If you usually listen to music when you draw but it's just not doing it atm, switch to something like long YouTube commentary videos or documentaries, and vise versa. Sometimes the brain wants music, sometimes it wants information or gossip. When you get burned out from one go to the other

•this applies to traditional and digital art too! If you have art block on one medium, switch to another! If digital isn't working, grab a pencil or paintbrush, or play with some clay! Sometimes the brain isn't bored of art, it's just bored of the medium.

•If you're trying realism and struggling, break it down to simple rules.

And I don't mean the shape thing everyone suggests, I mean things like "the inner corner of the eye lines up with the mouth, the outer corner of the eyes lines up with the ears, your nose bridge leans into your eyebrows, feet are the same length as your elbow to your wrist, use the collar bone to guide the shoulder position, the armpit curves into the breast, etc.

*this doesn't apply to everyone or every expression! Remember the mouth moves around and comes in all shapes, it's a very loose "rule", and people's eyes aren't always the same distance or angle, just keep the ear around that general eye area

Glasses test: can your character wear glasses?

carlos passes glasses test- a better rule for mouths is to imagine smile lines, even if whoever youre drawing doesnt have wrinkles, theyre a good guide for mouth placement

•doing color palette challenges can help practice composition and shading with abnormal colors, and helps understand color theory

•for digital, you can overlay colors over a drawing to make the palette more uniform. Don't be shy abt messing around with it

•Watch speedpaints! Watch pencil animation clips! It helps

•don't be afraid to use your art supplies. Ik the struggle of "but I don't wanna waste it", but that paint will go bad if you keep it on a shelf for years! Use it already! Doodle in the "fancy" sketchbook! Yolo!!

•use cyan and magenta for mixing paint, not blue and red. The "primary colors" rule doesn't always apply to all mediums.

•keep your old art! Do not tear it up or throw it out just because you're not proud of it, it's cool to reflect or even redraw it years down the line (backup your digital art somewhere, even the ones not posted online because your computer could just die one day for no reason and take everything with it. It sucks)

•IF you sketch on paper and then digitalize it later, you can draw the pieces seperately and photoshop them together. So dont worry if you drew a really good hand but it's at the slightly wrong angle, or too far away from the body. You can put it where it needs to be without having to erase and redraw it

[luc1d-dr34m5]

Oh man I wasn’t expecting a response so quickly! And thank you for putting it in the main tags lol.

But I really like the idea of dreadful harmony! Those two really are the toxic yaoi/yuri of all time (though I don’t find them to be all that toxic lol)

I def have more questions but I’m worried about flooding your inbox a little sorry. Like how did DH lose their humanity? (I know that HC lost it due to the UW fusing him with half of I-no but I’m curious what the UW could have done to DH)

Im also curious about Lethargy too. Does HC/DH consider them their kid? Or what do they think of lethargy and vice versa?

Or hell I’m curious what other people think of HC and DH’s unique dynamic. (Especially Asuka damn. )

Sorry if this is long!

I only call them toxic YaoiYuri depending on the current roles they're playing, these two are so versatile in vibe cuz one drawing they could be having the most toxic moment ever and the next drawing theyre like sleeping on a couch after watching movies together and both situations fit them a lot atleast to me

And dw dw pls flood my inbox with more questions im going to explode about them in a good way

DH lost their humanity bc of the information flow from the Backyard being far too concentrated, while HC got the luxury of basically becoming fused with a god's powers, DH did not and their own abilities stem from the fact theyre basically a walking Tome of Origin that haw a super genius mind that can constantly revise and create new spells all the time. In this way Both DH and HC are equal in power. Also why would The Universal Will throw and trap DH into concentrated Backyard info area is cuz it was a desperate decision and they assumed DH would die but... like... thats, thats the one who weaves the spells. Universal Will had a dumb moment but hey it threw the Original off. To esplain Further DH had managed to make a way that they can survive by taking in the information influx from the Backyard but it came at the cost of their humanity, they managed to keep their memories and biases tho.

And YEAH DH ans HC lovingly(and annoyingly to Lethargy) consider them their child.

HC to Lethary - is like that annoying kind of parent who likes to poke their nose into ur bussiness but they genuine love and care abt you, Hes probs taken to the role as the Overprotective Parent just to stir drama every once in a while, i like to think during the earlier parts of Lethargy's story when theyre their panicky and terrified of their own strength self Happy Chaos just teleports sweets to them, Regional sweets, they both got sweet tooths. Havent got a full concrete thing on how he thinks of Lethargy cuz he has too many thoughts in his head but the basis of it all is fondness and horror, the closest he could feel to it cuz Lethargy is stronger than both HC n DH combined but Lethargy prefers being human than to become anything else. But the fondness overpowers the horror tbh he cares for the kid

Lethargy to HC - Basically think of someone in their rebellious phase, Lethargy loathes the fact they and HC have similarities, Easy to rile up n all. They tend to start bickering with HC on random topics HC started rambling abt. They think hes annoying n all, but when they do get along oh boy, Oh Boy. Prepare ur popcorn besties this boutta be the best show of ur life.

DH to Lethargy - Bias exists here, though they cant feel emotion they do try to show Lethargy that they care for em. They take on the role of 'Damage control' parent, this family has 1 braincell and DH has it half the time, the other half is when HC and Lethargy cause joint chaos together. Theyre the type of parent to be chill and such but WILL put their foot down if needed. They're the one who mainly teaches Lethargy how to use their own abilities since Lethargy can grasp Circle theory. Same case with HC there is both fondness n horror in their own unique way but as always the fondness overpowers the horror. Theyre the favorite parent and they know it.

Lethargy to DH - Favorite parent. No he will not let HC fight DH for the spot of favorite parent. DH is the favorite parent and Lethargy will forever shove that fact into HC's face. Lethargy is thankful to DH for being so goddamn patient with them bc Lethargy can be so clumsy and dumb. Lethargy wonders where DH got all this patience from (DH got it from knowing and dealing with HC for years lmaoo)

Regardless thought the two like to be embarrassing parents, always like, bragging abt Lethargy's accomplishments and they of course inherited DH and HC's immeasurable IQ's they just have a morality to hold back themselves.

I dont know that much about the Conclave members individually yet so i cant say for them, Asuka on the other hand... he's semi used to it, he was clueless they used to date eachother tho lmaoo.

Like, as their student he had no idea The Original and The Architect were dating, he had suspicions but he didnt wanna ask them. To picture how ridiculously oblivious Asuka was during this time, The Original and The Architect could be smooching out in the open and he'd be like "Something fruity going on here... But probs isnt" /J/J those two were a bit more subtle but yeah Asuka truly is bad with relationships, even seeing em.

Adding sum tidbits here on The Architect/DH and Asuka's own dynamic. DH and Asuka were much closer actually, DH even when human was stoic and rarely showed visible emotion even verbally. Only diff betwene them is that DH isnt clueless on emotions, they acknowledge the importance of feelings even as who they are now. Its why betwen DH and HC, DH causes less casualties and suffering due to this. tbh DH would be scolding Asuka for not taking how he himself felt into account even in a scientific way. Emotions are a variable regardless, why ignore such a vital thing?

and i like to think that as a parallel to HC's "Asuka Asuka Asuka Asuka... You're a natural born lunatic" and the response of "Quiet down, Teacher."

DH's line is "Asuka Asuka Asuka Asuka. You're an unnaturally oblivious person." In a more scolding manner, response is "Louder please, Tutor?" in a sheepish tone

If u have more questions u can send em in i will be very happy to answer wjdnw sorry if im a lil late i had things to do

#lucid rambles #oc #guilty gear oc #happy chaos #happy chaos guilty gear #asuka r kreutz #Head in ahnds i will explode about them #Asuka is conflicted with DH in the way that like #They kept their biases and own values even as their humanity withered away. #Oh and Asuka n Lethargy absolutely HATE eachother #neither of them know why but they just aggravate one another #I have doodles of the HC and DH i made when i was bored ill post them later

[glassamphibians]

here are nico-centric fun facts:

• dionysus fills they’re pseudo-therapy sessions with theater exercises he’ll be like “for the next hour you can only respond with ‘yes, and—‘” and nico just has to deal with it or face dolphin threats. sometimes mr d is just doing it to see what nico is willing to put up with <3 he is awful :)

• if they aren’t talking during meals they are talking during a card game and they are both cheating so much for no reason

• if nico is hanging out in his cabin there is a 90% chance the door is open

• he sings & talks to himself when he’s alone

• once he figures out audiobooks he listens to them obsessively

• LOVES nonfiction so much most of the books he reads are abt v niche historical concepts

• for fiction he enjoys political scifi & fantasy but as soon as it gets super Magicy questy he’s like “this is lame i fight monsters all the time 🙄”

• he likes The Idea of YA & contemporary books but often gets frustrated bc of how many modern things he’s just expected to Know. like he’ll give it a shot but having to ask someone something like “what’s a superbowl” twice every chapter can get annoying </3

• if he can tape something to a wall it is going on a wall there are recipts & movie tickets & sticky notes & drawings & posters & anything that reminds him of his friends :) it also breaks up the Overbearing Pitch Black Of Cabin Thirteen which is nice

• he v much enjoys hiking & Being Outside sometimes he will just shadowtravel w/ will & be like “we’re exploring these woods now.” will just has to be like ok. what state r we in tho.

• likes swimming as long as his feet can touch the ground. Will Not put his head underwater

• annabeth is his brain game buddy they play lots of geoguesser & jeopardy & chess together

• ik ive said this one before but he buys hazel So Many Things when she visits chb there’s always a pile of stuff he thinks she’d like

• nico has a v complicated relationship w/ catholicism that he can never really figure out! he is a very All or Nothing kind of person so i find putting him in situations where he has to live in a grey area very fun

• he will not share camp gossip but he Will exploit it during capture the flag

#yk what annabeth did in tlt w/ percy & clarisse. he does that all the time #he hears that two people on opposite teams broke up & goes. hm. interesting. #it would be a shame if they ran into each other #rrverse #nico di angelo

[papers4me]

Fruits Basket Manga Review ch (76 & 77)

So, I decided to read the manga mainly in search for a more natural balanced female presentation than the idealistic, shallower, savior depiction of tohru in the anime.

I’m intentionally skipping all the chapters of her as a (mother figure) in yuki’s life & won’t read them or even visit them for comparison with the anime. I love yuki’s growth story & the unique depiction of his platonic relationship with tohru, but if his mother-tohru phase was a drink, then the anime has force fed it to me till it came from my nose! So, for yuki, I’ll be reading his growth past-his mother confession.

I’ve consulted my lovely manga readers friends & thy recommended starting from ch 90 since the content in that chapter was completely cut! but some recommended checking kyoto chapters first since they contain a nice glimpse of the author’s style & artistic vision. Kyoto ep in the anime isn’t focused on “mom-tohru” so, i like the idea! I’ll jump to ch 90 right after ch 77.

- Subtle growth of a woman ( Clash of visions & presentation between the manga’s “ Loosing the wallet with mom’s photo vs the anime’s fractured photo frame):

I really love the underlined connotation of tohru loosing her “mom” unknowingly! In the anime, this scene played without any reference to kyoko & tohru’s attachment to her. We saw tohru the teenage girl confused as she experience romantic love for the first time. Nothing more than that. But the manga says “ Main female MC is way deeper than a (mom-figure) or a (girl in love), In this panel, tohru chases after kyo & unknowingly looses her famous wallet containing her mom’s picture. Here’s what this subtly indicates:

 Normally, tohru would notice right away that her wallet is missing, here she never even notice until kyo suggest they hang out together. Subtly indicating that tohru is moving further & further from her phase of “ an afraid, grieving, abandoned child clinging to her mom”.

Normally, tohru would panic, say “ mom is missing” & everyone around her goes into search mode to make tohru at ease (hiro’s ep). Here once she notices, she says “ my wallet is missing” & kyo relaxed & laughingly gives her her wallet back. While he goes to bring the wallet, tohru instead of thinking “ oh nearly lost mom!” is musing over the fact that “it’s strange that kyo can make me happy or sad with one word only”. Subtly indicating that tohru is replacing her mom with kyo as part of growing up from the child she was to the woman she will be.

Tohru calling kyo “mysterious”, subtly explains that tohru is in the uncertain phase of understanding her feelings as a woman & hence, pave the path for upcoming trauma exploration & psychological depth.

The entire scene in the manga is depicted to convey different layers: romance, upcoming growth, & unexplored traumatic issues of abandonment, grief, & human weakness. “ Accepting human Weakness & change” IS the manga’s vision.

In the anime, the fractured picture worked simply becuz no issues of any traumatic experiences with tohru were ever hinted. Nothing abt tohru being a young woman moving away from a traumatic childhood was ever implied beside the weakly sharply cut & forgotten few scenes of her mysteriously going “ im okay” while remembering her dad’s shrine. Was there ever anything abt replacing her mom with kyo? Nope!. Was there anything abt tohru reluctance of loving kyo? Nope! to fix that, let’s shock the audience with empty photo frame! It’ll make the viewers confused & if we play the climax right & give tohru a tearjerker speech confronting akito, all is good. It worked in the anime as it served the purpose it was created for: shock value & drama. ppl bought it. But in the long run, it cemented tohru as the “savior angel” never the “ weak human”. But not many will have issues with that. Having yuki with his impressive story of growth & kyo with his shocking story of pain is enough to distract from the rest. The director must think: What does the audience want?

a woman who’d save the prince with her motherly care?“ Done!”.

a woman who’d love the monster? “ Done !”. 

a woman who has her own deep story? no one will miss that~ skip!

-Yuki’s next stage of growth: Friends:

I like how smoother the scene played here. Yes, yuki thinks back to his gratitude to tohru, but it plays subtly & more emphasis is on his friendship with kakeru. No added scene of him waving back to tohru after kakeru which brought the focus back to mom-tohru again. No. Here is way less shoved in your throat. Yuki says how he felt in the moment, moved on to the next stage, thought abt his life & choives, moved on to school. Clear lines that makes yuki more dynamic & way less “ living in his head” character.

Side Notes:

The manga’s art is pretty but expressive! I was afraid it’ll have that weird eyes bigger than the moon & too much sparkles & bubbles like the usual old shojo manga art!

Yuki is way more expressive than the anime & less pretty & sparkly! I welcome this with flowers & songs! lol.

Tohru has “low” pigtails instead of the child-like high pigtails! YES! it is crazy that this trivial change adds so much to tohru’s presentation to the viewers’ eyes. In real life no big deal but in an artistic medium such choices send subliminal messages to viewers minds, that’s why artists spend a lot of time choosing their characters default appearance. It means a lot for the character’s overall path & sends messages. High child-like pigtails: make her look like innocent & naive child since viewers usually associate such hair do with children & toddlers. Low pigtails: are cute girly style that we associate with teenagers & young adult women, it’s practical & cute.

Kyo’s looks as youthful & handsome as the anime but less angry, annoyed & more versatile in his expression! It always bothered me that the anime just go with kyo’s default frowned face, hands in pocket looks unless he should express a key emotion. Also, kyo without an undershirt in his uniform! interesting change from the anime.

I missed kyo’s two buddies! T_T. Why they weren’t in the anime’s finale.. could’ve at least put them in the underwhelming graduation ceremony ~

I really appreciate that yuki’s fanclub are one page, less annoying.

That awkward moment when a manga panel drawn by one person can depict a crowded city more than an anime with a huge team. Like the anime didn’t even need to zoom out for a huge wide shot that showcase its weakness in depicting a crowded city. If you can’t draw that, just zoom in to lessen the effect of emptiness. kyoto isn't a deserted area especially not during a school trip!

The teachers checking on the sneaking vs sleeping students scene is a welcoming sight! XDDD

Hana met kakeru before? saw him & tohru together? weird!!

Kakeru is more focused on tohru here.

I really love the photos taken for everybody. It indicates real good time! Hana eating, yuki around girls, arisa annoyed, kyo teased with playing card: did the play “rich man poor man” again? XD

I’m starting to love yuki more in the manga than the anime!

Kyo having short inner thought abt not being able to tell tohru a girl confessed to him & deciding to say “ none of ur business” is doing wonders to the scene!!! it makes him less mean to tohru & more balanced character. I mean I guessed so in the anime, but what could've prevented making the VA say this short line of inner thought?! Yuki’s VA says essays & essays in nearly every ep abt nearly every character?!.

I liked the way kyo held tohru’s hands when he turned to her, the way he held her hand in the anime is a bit weird. lol. Also, in this scene, tender gentle kyo is so well-done both in the anime & manga. The manga wins for the zoom in & focus on emotions, tho.

Next is chapter 90!

#Fruits Basket #fruits basket manga #reading paper #manga reviwes #ch 76 #ch 77 #Anime Only

[yozzers]

vexos hcs and random notes

ill update as i go, because yes i do update my masterlists every once in awhile, i should probably add them to my pinned... 

General

I sincerely hope they have a small living arrangement so I can inflict them with the pain of having to share almost everything with each other

I just want Shadow and Lync to share a bunk

Like to think that alongside Volt, Mylene and Lync were also recruited by Hydron

None of them officially joined until they were a bit older but probably trained to eventually join the Vexos; in the mean time they probably worked for Hydron or something like that

Volt recruited at 11; Lync a year later and Mylene following not long after (respectively 13, 8, 12 when they’re all gathered)

My reasoning to why Volt is patient with Lync’s antics and Mylene less so but doesn’t lash out as badly as you think she would around annoying little kids; grew up tgt moment

Spectra probably forced his way into the Vexos like “hiiii i see you dont have any Vexos members <3″ bcs obv he wasn’t using royal scientist dad privelages (i think, bcs Clay seems horrified abt Spectra being a Vexos and well, being Spectra) 

Shadow had an advantage of being a nobleman (in terms of him being accepted into the Vexos’ ranks)

the Vexos and their set of rules magent-ed on the fridge door or something and every time they go over a page they have to staple/tape a new page on

Joined in this order, Volt, Spectra, Shadow, Mylene, Lync, Gus 

Vexos being a “chance of death low but the chance is still there” type of job... they feel like idols girl help they are bakugan idol group who work for the government 

sorry the way the vestal kids talk about them... going to treat the Vexos like a kpop group now

Spectra Phantom / Keith Fermin 

[canon] son of a (royal?) scientist. definitely had it good and comfy

think it’d be REALLY funny if he already knew Shadow before he became Spectra, Shadow just doesn’t recognize him bcs of his stupid get up

throws childhood friends Shadow Spectra at you, just two weirdos 

Keith specifically keeps Shadow from ever meeting his sister which is why neither of them really recognize each other

Pre-Spectra; probably would’ve been really into bakugan biology and what not. Feels like the kind of person to talk w/ his dad about “do you think we could change their appearance if we messed w/ their mechanical ball form or would it not carry over to their released forms”

this mf looks like a biology major i feel it in my guts 

mom isn’t dead she just divorced Clay bcs he didn’t know how to balance family and work, good for her

probably lives in another city now, and it’s a bit more of a hassle to meet with her kids so they don’t see her as much but she is present in their lives (keep in contact in other ways) 

probably went a bit silent when Keith went missing

didn’t bleach his eyebrows bcs he didn’t want to harm the skin around there and he never thought he’d take the mask off around others, or about how stupid he’d look without the mask

please please please please draw him with his pink hair roots in his MS fit he should've grown out some of his bleached hair by then

daddy issues is truly the root of evil

Gus Grav

Just Some Gut background; middle class just living life

[canon?] was going on a route to being an “idol brawler”, because that’s kind of what their brawls felt like, since it was all purely for show with some competition. it felt less like a sport and more spectacle.

Gus wanting to be an idol brawler is actually such a funny string of words put together I’m making that a thing, if he didn’t join the Vexos he would’ve been an idol brawler

I like the Gus needs glasses hc (shoutout to @marmeladebois ‘s post on that) 

The hc of him being half human and Runo’s half brother is so good 

Cooks well but refuses to help cook fr the Vexos (unless Spectra specifically asks) --> that job is usually left to Volt

not related but reminds me heavily of yugioh vrain’s Spectre (or other way around... Gus was the blueprint) 

Shadow Prove

[handbook canon] a vestal nobleman 

has an older brother (oc; Lux- casual Haos brawler)

inferiority complex or whatever, the only thing he bested his brother in was Bakugan

the Prove family being typical prim proper noble family and forcing Shadow to be repressed is something, but the Proves having the same kind of wavelength as Shadow but in different variations is funnier. They’re just Like That.

Probably not a military family, does work closely with the government still; um im thinking somewhere under the Fermins but not by much

Considered running away from home several times 

Unwillingly has knowledge on Vestal classic literature/ music

hard clutching a wall whenever he wants to join in on discussions about it bcs he knows this stuff but no way is he going to make himself look like a nerd + hes not actually that interested

*debates you for fun and bcs i hate u <3* 

You know how he doesn’t take his job as a Vexos member super seriously, I wonder:

did his parents force him to be a Vexos since he wasn’t interested in the political side of his family and probably against taking up anything related to it, so they had him do something that’d still be beneficial to the family?  

joined to pursue a freedom he didn’t have as a nobleman and is now just taking it really easy?

has clowns > jesters debate with volt; obv he’s team clown, volt is team jester

incredibly irrelevant but if he was a human he’d be chinese, i’ve claimed him, prodigal son older brother and fail son dynamic is there 

Mylene Ferrow

While I like the idea of her being from a military family, I want to make her like Ling Wen (TGCF) in the sense she started from the bottom and climbed to the top... it fits her ambitious nature of grasping for more, she hasn’t reached what she considers the top just yet... 

[very Ling Wen specific but Mylene being put in jail fr crimes unknown to me and being recruited  by Hydron bcs she kicked serious ass is an entertaining thought] 

I like to think she’s closest to Shadow due to the fact he kind of forces his presence onto her so... not her choice in that matter. “annoying” to “endearingly annoying, you still aren’t getting special treatment though”

Ofc Volt and Lync are on the same level, but I think they all know when to give each other space so they’re more of a “we hold each other at a distance, but we’re aware of out closeness which is enough for us”

Then its Spectra and then Gus in the “closest to Mylene” scale; she just straight up hates Gus and it’s mutual

whoever made the “Mylene and Spectra were exes” hc I think it’s really funny so I’m adding it here 

terrible fashion, she’s the one who chose the outfits when she and Shadow went to earth; her fashionable armor look she usually has was designed with Volt’s help, she just voiced what she generally wanted 

Her red lipstick look was bcs she thought it’d make her look more serious/ intimidating (Volt and Lync approved, it rlly does work on her)

Shadow matches w/ her (via his red nails) after they get teamed up tgt several times bcs he thinks they’re basically the go-to duo matchup whenever they’re assigned work n it’d be cool

Very forthcoming about the fact she used to be considered a criminal and was from same rundown area Volt and Lync come from

She’s grateful she got out of jail but she still has no respect for Hydron and despite how much she tries to hide it she does make it pretty clear to him she doesn’t really like him

I wish I had more to say about her... but It’s all relationship esque, i think in general she’s enjoyable and good so what I want more out of her is character dynamics

Lync Volan

[eng dub] he has grandparents; whether they’re still alive or not is...? 

was part of the same area Volt is from

probably aware of each other but didn’t really know each other

you sound like you have mommy issues 

came from the same area as Volt, but lived further out and closer to those areas where there were some bits of nature left 

ill expand on why he got picked up by Hydron another day lazy rn

Volt Luster

[canon] he’s from an area that just straight up looks like yugioh 5ds’ Satellite, and Hydron was the one who pulled him out of there  

He says Hydron pulled him out of there when he was a kid? I’d assume at youngest it’d be like Hydron (8) and Volt (11)

has a neat collection of handmade jester dolls 

lot more artistic than he seems 

Had his guardian bakugan with him the longest; had Brontes even before he met Hydron

Would the others consider him weird fr having a talking Bakugan that acted friendly with him n cracked jokes? 

#bakugan #croak

[theoreticalli]

tma and unreliable narration

you know in thinking so much about melanie and jon and helen and jon (and to an extent georgie and basira and martin too) I just keep coming back to how good an example of unreliable narration tma is (spoilers thru 160 and for 187, as well as a link to a post abt the finale).

because jon is our pov character, right? for the vast majority of the series, outside of statements, everything we experience is implied to be through his perspective. we start out with him and him alone, we return to him again and again-- alone in the tunnels, alone in America, alone after the Unknowing, alone as the apocalypse swirls around him. we let him entrust us, an unseen confidante, with things he won’t tell anyone else. we are intimately familiar with his experiences and his personality, and we see every little moment of development he goes through. we spend so much time with him.

but jon... is wrong sometimes. like, objectively, we know that. his paranoia spiral in s2 is the first major indicator that this character, who is functionally our narrator, is not objective. he makes decisions based on prior experiences and the information he has and assumptions from both, like we all do. it’s just good character building! it makes him feel more real if he’s wrong sometimes, if he has flaws and blind spots!

and sometimes he is wrong. the most signposted and indisputable moment is the web table, when he just straight-up puts the clues together and comes to the wrong conclusion, or when he spends a whole season being suspicious of tim and martin (and elias) when not!sasha’s right there. basically, He Is Not Immune To Propaganda

so that’s our sign that this is not the kind of character who is always or even usually Objectively right or in the right. he’s not frequently outright wrong, either, but his view of things is always limited, and the other characters are carefully placed to be foils to his perspective, to highlight things he isn’t thinking about or illustrate contrasts or just other opinions. again, It’s Good Character Building! it’s smart writing to have all your characters exist first and foremost as bundles of principles and priorities informed by certain key backstory events, because then you can rely on that to figure out how they’ll react to any given situation, and personalities and quirks tend to fall into place from there. my brain is not moving on the frequency to illustrate exactly what all these foils are right now but I’m sure there’s other posts about that so moving on

most of jon’s conflicts with his allies are not because either of them are wrong, but because they each have distinct and conflicting perspectives. and there’s some posts I see that just... frustrate me because they only take into consideration the context for jon’s actions, and don’t extend the same analysis to any other characters involved. there’s no thought put into why georgie might feel the need to draw the boundaries she does, why melanie goes off on jon at the specific times she does, or god forbid when either of them try to reconcile with him at various points. jon is sympathetic to us as the audience in his shoes, but the actions he takes don’t always have positive effects on those around him in the same way that other people severely hurt him without really meaning to. really, my first reaction to posts like these is always to want to just point out 5 different moments of context that show that most of jon’s allies are never being malicious to him because they’re bad people, or heartless. they have their reasons, and are not being cruel for cruelty’s sake like many of the avatars. they aren’t required to agree with him to still be taken in good faith.

(I have a post about this wrt the end of s5 that I’ll link here to make this stay mostly spoiler free so feel free to go read that but anyways)

and there’s also the things jon directly says about other characters, which again, should not always be taken at face value! and this bit is partly a personal grievance with the way helen’s arc ended, so ymmv, but I think that leaving the exact nature of the distortion (esp how it meshes with its host of sorts) more vague is much more effective in terms of her function in the story. so to my interpretation, even though jon says a lot of things about what the distortion is, that doesn’t necessarily mean any of them are entirely accurate! that’s a point helen made repeatedly, and her role as a foil is to make it clear that the truth is never one thing, no matter how the eye likes to pretend it can find objective reality. she wiggles her way out of the liar’s paradox because reality is complicated, and there are many statements that lie in that grey area between true and false while still sounding very sure. so even though jon states a lot of things in a very certain tone, that doesn’t mean any of them reflect the nature of the distortion any more than anything helen said before. it’s just one more piece of information to put together with everything we’ve seen about the character’s words and actions up to that point and come to our own conclusion!

to me, that’s a much more fun and interesting way of engaging with this story than only looking at things through jon’s pov and taking the things he says without a grain of salt, and I think jonny’s done a really good job of having a lot of characters with specific traits and clear histories that pretty consistently inform how they engage with any given situation. of course, there’s a lot of characters and a lot of extrapolations one can make, especially for more minor or intentionally mysterious characters, so there’s no one right way of understanding a given person. but it’s fun to mess around with, to discover new bits that you’d forgotten about that inform your interpretations, to fill in the gaps.

that’s all no I will not shut up about melanie king if you read this far thank you so much you have my affection and pls reblog w your thoughts!! xoxo

#theo.txt #tma #the magnus archives #jonathan sims #melanie king #tma meta #hoo boy I have a lot of thoughts about this #also like... could make a point that people tend to be more willing to look into martin's and tim's backstories #than into georgie's or melanie's #but I feel like the fandom misogyny hornet's nest is one that I've kicked enough times #it may or may not be intentional but I do see some of yall #and every time I make a post like this I am just. violently aware that I only see a small fraction of the posts in this fandom #and I'm sure there's ones that do the exact opposite and look at the girls' perspectives above all else #so I want to make it clear that my idea is that we do this for All The Characters #up to and including jon #they are all pretty well written if you look past your first impressions yall #like I'm not saying you have to like any given character god knows there are certain ones who I Do Not #but I'm very aware that that's for personal reasons #and I've tried to pinpoint exactly why #and still try to look at the character as a whole #esp when said character is Generally Beloved. I don't wanna go ruining people's fun or just stewing in my feelings #better to work through it I think! #anyways I like this podcast a lot

[emsartwork]

i forgot to add: how do design ????!?!??????

So I’m not expert but this is how I think of character design! (also sry if you were asking about clothing/outfit design thats a little different)

under the cut because this is long im so sorry

So in my opinion there are three really important aspects for character design!

AESTHETIC: obviously everybody’s aesthetic is different, but this is more about what vibe the character has, what makes them THEM design wise. 

INTENTION: who is the character supposed to be? this can range from their personality, their back story, their occupation, or their role in the story, but the design need to fit that intention.

COHESION: does the design go well together? or do certain aspects clash too much? obviously you can have disjointed parts of a character design, and if those serve a purpose then thats fine, but if its so disjointed its distracting from the character as a whole you might need to tweak things. 

AESTHETIC: the contrasting part of the design (white flowers in dark hair, dark trim on dress, and dark shoes) provide interest to the eye. The mixing of round and sharp shapes also keeps the design from feeling “boring” even though its relatively simple. 

INTENTION: so what role would this little doodle character have? according to her design elements, shes cute and friendly with her round shapes (bouncy balls, babies, etc), but could have a sharp/fast/active or even dangerous edge to her with the triangles (arrows, knives etc). of course the design doesn’t limit her possible roles. She could be a bubbly younger sister who teases the older protagonist, or maybe she’s the villain hiding in plain sight. the shape this character design doesn’t really have is squares(think bricks and rocks), which communicates that she might not be really strong, steady, or reliable. 

COHESION: repeating the curves across her whole design builds cohesion, it communicates that “yes, these are all part of the same character”, it also allows the eye to “rest” on a familiar shape or line. 

NOW LETS LOOK AT SOME DESIGNS

(Boku no Hero Academia) so both of these characters are super heroes, but have vastly different design elements. so lets analyze them.

OCHAKO(the pink one) is all rounds, with a few pointed shapes in hair mostly, but a little on her costume as well. Her personality is cute, bubbly, and friendly which perfectly suits her soft and bouncy design. Howevre she also has a very slight edge to her, which is seen her determination and drive to improve herself over the course of the anime. 

KIRISHIMA(the red one) at first glance, seems to be super pointy!! shapes that are usually seen on villains or really dangerous characters, but while he IS sharp(literally sometimes) and sometimes aggressive, he is also made of squares, which perfectly suits his loyal “i gotchu bro” attitude towards most of the other characters in the anime.  

ISSUE AREAS: so the only problems i have with Ochako and Kirishima’s designs is that their costumes each have one area that clashes a little too much for my taste. With Ochako, the belt over the color blocking stripes down her crotch are......questionable taste wise. I think the design would be better if the pink chest ended above the belt in a shallow v. not only would this mirror the triangle aspects of her hair, it would fit the belt outline, and continue the trend her costume has of being “grounded” or “heavy”. Kirishima has those.... gears??? around his shoulders??? and while the gear teeth are technically squares, the gear shape itself is a circle, which is a shape that isn’t present anywhere else in his design. I think changing the gears to something similar to his boots or his mask/headgear would create a more cohesive design(also the gears just look hard to move in)

These two characters are presented as individuals so their costumes don’t have to match at all even though they are still seen as “connected” because of the art style for the face, hair, and body. 

In a group giving the outfits cohesive motifs is an easy way to present a strong team image! In Yuki Yuna is a Hero, the girls all have colored lines(usually princess seam placement), armor or fabric hip accents, covered arms, and similar flower shapes in their hair. The Aesthetic of each girl is strong in a monochrome signature color, but not over whelming as the black+white connects them even in color so they aren’t out of place. 

Speaking of color! if your characters are all similar looking (like same body for all of them) you can communicate their personality and aesthetic just with color! (only gonna talk about a few of the ponies) Pinkie Pie (the really pink one) is energetic and playful, so her color scheme is a variation of the primary colors(happy, child like), and have one of the more saturated colors(high energy, intense) of these characters in a large quantity. Apple Jack (the orange one) is a down to earth farm girl, and her color palette is accordingly, mostly earth tones, its also warm analogous colors, which makes her appear un-complicated and warm personality wise. the pop of red is a nice touch to add interest, but notice that its uses sparingly in her cutie mark and tail accessory. Rarity on the other hand is elegant and fussy, her high contrast scheme of white and dark blue/purples gives her more visual interest and is something that makes her appear more “complex” in addition to the gradient thats included in her hair. the colors are also all cool colors, bringing to mind cool glass or water which both have connotations of grace and beauty.

however all the characters here are unified by their colors being on the pastel side, which is also important for a cohesive cast.

another, short, note on color; making the color/line/shading of your figure different from the background can help them stand out, this is used ESPECIALLY in children’s media, but can be applied to any illustration or animation as needed.

Color can also help your characters “read” quickly on screen, the powerpuff girls are a prime example, of having a distinct color blocking and silhouette. even the color blobs at the top and my crappy hand silhouettes STILL read as the characters despite being broken down into abstract elements. I also really enjoy the thick outline in the powerpuff girls, it really makes the characters pop to the foreground even though they have pretty simple designs and are often in a colorful setting.

Also, for a lot of animation, silhouette is INCREDIBLY important for your characters, some designers sketch silhouettes and then design the particulars its so important to nail the shape. These examples from Coraline are some of my favorites (though Laika wins in my heart every time no matter what lmao) because the simple shapes are SO CLEAR and indicative of the character, you literally don’t need to have watched the movie to know these are each different characters with different personalities and roles. 

silhouette can also help tell the story. In Kubo and the two strings (another Laika film) the above three characters are sisters. One has chosen to leave her home in the heavens to live on earth, and the other two stay in their roles as “heavenly” warriors. This is even shown through their designs, the two sisters are weighted on top and their cloaks don’t even touch the ground, while the first woman has trailing, heavy sleeves, hair, and robes all grounding her and emphasizing her connection with the earth.

another example of shape/silhouette reflecting the story, In The Croods, the family of cavemen are for the most part very top heavy, with large torsos and arms, usually in a more hunched over position, while the newcomer, Guy, is bottom heavy with thin arms and stands more upright. In the plot, the family represents the old ways, the strength and rules that have helped them survive, they look like very stereotypical “cavemen”, while Guy resembles the modern man, and appropriately is associated with new ideas and forward thinking.

MORE SHAPES, in DC super hero girls each girl has a distinct personality emulated by her shape language. Zatana is dramatic curves and edges, Super girl is hard, straight edges against curves, giving her a solid muscular shape. Wonder Woman, though also strong, is taller and leaner, lending to a confident leader type. Green Lantern is slim, her lines all flow into each other giving her a go with the flow look. Bumble Bee is, of course, tiny, but her boots and gauntlets add weight and strength to her otherwise small frame. Batgirl is lanky and has a lot of pointed style lines, reminding the viewer of a skinny cat (ironic what with cat woman i know) or weasel which mirrors her preferred “sneaky” crime fighting style.  (also yes this was just an excuse for me to gush abt how much i love the dcshg designs shut up)

so in my opinion, Cartoon Saloon’s The Secret of Kells is PERFECT in aesthetic, intention, and cohesion. Kells focuses very strongly on creating silhouette WITHIN the larger figure shape via color and line, most of the characters pictured here have no neck, the one who does, Brendan, is the main character and the use of negative space that cuts into his shape is used to draw attention to him. Kells is also very strongly inspired by Medieval Illuminated manuscripts (namely, the book of kells lmao). The characters still manage to stand out against outrageously detailed backgrounds via their simple shapes and strong color blocking. 

Aisling, a secondary but very important character, is not human, and has a totally different shape language from the rest of the characters. She is thin and pointy, while most of the others are round or square. Aisling also has the most negative space making up her silhouette, compare the triangles made by her arms and legs in the above picture to the figures in the first image where everybody’s body is self contained with no negative space. She is also very different color wise, very pale and cool colored, as opposed to the warm saturated colors of the human characters. (yes this was another excuse to gush abt one of my fave pieces of media deal with it)

hopefully that wasn’t too rambley and actually helps? if yall have more specific design questions lemma know lol

#askems #a-magical-human #design #art tutorial #tutorial #Character Design #boku no hero academia #yuki yuna is a hero #yuki yuna wa yusha de aru #my little pony friendship is magic #mlpfim #madeline #powerpuff girls #ppg #coraline #laika #kubo and the two strings #the croods #dc super hero girls #dcshg #the secret of kells #cartoon saloon

[princeanxious]

Okay stupid tumblr didnt tell me you said yes but HERE ARE MY QUESTIONS :DDD

When did they become vanpires

How old are they

What year were the vampires born

How long has V been locked away, what has he missed

Does V immediately latch onto the grunge/emo aesthetic because it matches the whole vampire theme

Is Roman a himbo™

What is the twins relationship like

Anxciet is the main pairing, are there any side pairings?

How does Janus react to the whole "oh yeah vampires are real" thing

Were any of the vamps around for any big historical events

Were any of the vamps big historical figures

Do they end up going to highschool/uni with the humans

What does everyone look like

Do any of them have really strong opinions about something useless (eg. pineapple on pizza, a certain colour, double denim, etc)

:)

Virgil became a Vampire sometime in the 17/1800s?? Logan is from around the 1500s, and Patton claims he lost count a long time ago.(Patton’s probably at least at least a thousand years old though? But he looks more like a young 25 y/o whose attire choices change day to day but generally always gives off that Parent vibe), Virgil was turned by Patton, Logan was born Vampire, Patton was assumably born vampire. Remus and Roman are 27, Janus is 25.

Virgil was locked away for about 150 years, give or take? He missed the entire shift in society and the human experience, from how relationships are viewed/treated to longer lifespans, to cleaner hygiene, convenience, and technology, hell, even the more open existance of the lgbtqa+ community! A /lot/ has happened in the past 100 years, and now Virgil has alot of catchup to do.(and don’t worry, Patton & Logan help Virgil catch up pretty quickly, they share flashcards and Virgil gets h o o k e d on social media when he gets a phone)

He absolutely does. Its a weird adjustment, what with the now wildly varied different textiles and styles and change. Especially the lack of layers, he misses those. (And finds immense comfort in the jacket that Janus gifts him, as its big and oversized and feels oh so very soft and warm.) But no yeah, he gets his hair cut(it still grew for those years locked away, albiet still rather slowly from malnutrition) and rocks the fringe, even gets his hair dyed purple to match his eyes, all the grunge/punk/emo aesthetic! Some of his favorite new things are makeup, piercings, and so much black fabric to chose from!

You’ll be surprised to note, that Roman is sadly not a himboTM in this au, as Virgil has already taken over that roll 💜💜💜

Remus and Roman’s relationship? Honestly ride or die chaos, the kinds of siblings that play pranks on one another and insult eachother but god forbid some poor outsider steps in to try and say the same thing they said abt their sibling, that outsider will have regreted it. The kind if ‘The Only one allowed to call my brother a Bitch-Ass Idiot is ME’ kind of siblings? Look they grew up in a area filled with people who dont like things out of the norm and befriended the local bullied kid who is half-covered in snake scales and speaks with a lisp due to his split togue. Remus himself suffers from intrusive anxiety and Roman suffers from chronic(?) depression. They’re all a bit ride or die, through and through.

Anxceit is the main pairing, and while it’s not entirely set in stone, Logince and Intruality are probably the other two.

Technically its not a secret in their world?? Like magic is a thing in their workd, its just usually left out of humanities bloodline. Humans like Janus are pretty rare bc of that. Vampires are still p rare to meet but not unheard of.

Yes, the vampires were alive for many major historical events. No we are not going to talk abt any of them. Same goes w/ historical figures.

Yes! Infact, Roman and Logan share college/uni theatre classes together! Logans currently an astronomy major, Roman a theatre arts major(i think thats what its called?) Logan is a formidible lyrical rival and Roman finds himself constantly losing to his rival in the form of slam poetry, though every day Roman always gets a little closer to winning(Logan adores the challenge, and the passion Roman has to beat Logan at his own game is riviting to experience. Logan would def consider Roman a perfect companion, but would have never acted on it if virgil hadnt been rescued by said companions twin brother, thus gettig both trios heavily involved w/ each other.) Patton’s been alive so long that he doesn’t care too much for academia, and instead focuses on tactile learning, like pottery and woodworking. Remus himself is an arts major, known for making really hyper horror or grotesque creature sculptures/doll customization, so he kind of just laches onto this man who seems to be larger than life and is far from bothered by Remus’s ‘not safe for common convos’ way of talking and its nice not to have someone run away. (Honestly, the feeling is mutual between the two)

As for what everone looks like, I kinda just want to leave that up to interpretation? If I end up drawing any of them they’ll probably be reflective of the way that I usually draw the sides, just human or vampire-ified, and maybe have a trait or two tweaked specifically for the au? The only real thing standing out to me is that i might give Remus or Roman Albinism? Idk yet.

Uhhhh i’m sure they have alot? Logan hates modern mirrors, bc they are usually not made w/ a silver backing. Let me tell you the first time Logna passed his full blown reflection out of something he’d never been able to use before, its clear, consise, ans ge hates it bc he can now very easily stare into his own eyes clearly and question existance.

Patton, despite being the oldest ever, is still v afraid of soiders despite knowing they cant hurt him too horribly.

Virgil is under the strong opinion that memes are hilarious and hoodies are amazing.

#anxceit #intruality #logince #mvv au #sanders sides #virgil sanders #janus sanders #vampire!virgil #vampire!patton #modern vampire vee au #luka’s aus #luka answers #ask to tag

[yelenasdog]

wondrous mess (40s!bucky x fem reader)

𝚊𝚕𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚗𝚊𝚝𝚎 𝚖𝚘𝚘𝚍𝚋𝚘𝚊𝚛𝚍 𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚎

𝚐𝚎𝚗𝚛𝚎: angst with some tooth rotting fluff halfway 

𝚜𝚞𝚖𝚖𝚊𝚛𝚢: war is so cruel, it’s only fair that the both of them have to expirience it’s wrath together.

𝚠𝚘𝚛𝚍𝚜: 11k+ (my longest fic!!)

𝚠𝚊𝚛𝚗𝚒𝚗𝚐𝚜: the beginning shows implications of alcoholic tendencies and behavior as well as derogatory terms from the 40s to describe those who are suffering from alcoholism, war, character death, denial of death, being a widow, cheating, crying, implications of sex, that’s abt it. if i missed any, feel free to shoot me an ask or message :) 

𝚙𝚕𝚊𝚢𝚕𝚒𝚜𝚝: (listen to these in order for best reading experience)

☆time flies- mac miller

☆at last- etta james

☆crying time- dean martin

☆paper rings- taylor swift

☆fine line- harry styles

☆dream a little dream of me- ella fitzgerald and louis armstrong 

☆twilight time- the platters

☆you don’t have to say you love me- jerry vale

☆moon river- andy williams

☆as the world caves in- matt maltese

☆we’ll meet again- vera lynn

☆everlong (acoustic version)- foo fighters

𝚊/𝚗: i hope u enjoy this!! i’ve worked so hard on this and done so much research, it truly took the most time and effort i’ve ever used in a fic. there’s more disclaimers at the end :)

·。·☆·。·。

December 28th, 1941

The alleyway was dark, unnerving, and cold. A man’s loud and gruff voice projected through the nearly empty alley, bouncing off of the newly propaganda strewn walls. His arm was left hanging defenseless in the air.

“Don’t go, please, we’ll talk it out.” His 5 o’clock shadow seemed more prominent, his clothes wrinkled and smelling of alcohol while his breath was that of smoke.

He had changed since they had gotten together, but he wasn’t the only one.

She turned on her heels from where she stood just outside the backstreet, tears pricking the corner of her eyes, threatening to spill. 

She had aged in the time she had been with Jake, the lines on her face deepening, the bags under her eyes darkening with blue and purple hues. Her painted lips had become cemented in a scowl, her formerly bright smile rarely seeing the light of day. But the distraught girl had no intentions of letting her new Bésame mascara go to waste on some jerk, much like the past few years of her life had. She strutted towards the blonde, regaining her lost composure.

She jabbed a manicured finger onto his chest, causing the man to recede slowly, the girl he had angered not far behind.

“You listen here, you crumb. I will not sit around all slack happy so you can go around and kiss some other dame behind my back.” She removed her hand, crossing it tightly against her chest with her other arm.

“Well, I was buzzed, that bird wasn’t even any importanc-“

“You’re unbelievable!” She gasped, rolling her eyes. She turned away once again. Jake followed in suit.

“Leave me alone, Jake.” She kept her eyes straight ahead on the unfamiliar Brooklyn sidewalk. She had originally come to the area to surprise her now ex- boyfriend after his work in the factory, but was in for a shock when she saw him making out with some girl (not for the first time) just outside the diner on the way.

So even if she didn’t have a clue where she was going, she sure as hell was going to act like she did. Seeing that her stride wasn’t faltering, he made an outcry of her name followed by a bellowed  “No!”

Jake grabbed her shoulder, and she shrugged it off, continuing to walk down the cobblestone street. There were cars buzzing past, and people talking around her on the street.

Couples. Happy couples who she quite honestly envied.

“You’re not allowed to touch me like that anymore.” Jake scoffed at her seemingly venomous words, wrapping a strong hand around her dainty wrist.

“Now don’t go into a decline, it’s not that big of a deal.” Her eyes narrowed at the sandy blond.

“Oh, please. You kissed her, and all the others, because you wanted to and because you could. No regard for anyone’s feelings but your own, just like always. And I’m sick of it, I really am!” She threw her hands up, and they fell back to her side with an audible plop against the gabardine fabric.

Jake looked around nervously at all the people whose attention he had drawn, his eyes darting to and fro.

“Don’t make a scene,” he called her by her nickname in a vain attempt to draw out her sympathy. “Please, we can work it out like we always do.”

“Don’t you dare call me that. You have no place to do so. And I think I’ve made my point fairly evidently. Jake Nelson, you are nothing but a swigger and a cheat, and I want nothing to do with it any longer. Goodbye.” She felt a rush of adrenaline as she picked her head up, the setting sun in what to her seemed a poetic manor.

She didn’t know where she was, how she would get home, where she would sleep. But he was gone. That parasite that had been feeding off of her and her emotions, taking advantage of her again and again, was finally gone. And it felt great. She took a breath of the heavily polluted air, noting how it somehow seemed clearer.

She could breathe again, and the feeling was intoxicating. In her newfound bliss, she continued walking for she didn’t know (nor care to find out) how long.

The sky that had since changed from it’s scarlets and oranges to an indigo sheet (becoming nearly impossible to see the stars with all the heavy smoke wafting in the air from the ever so busy factories) provided a hint at exactly how long it had been since she began her adventure. 

She would stare at the buildings as she walked past, analyzing those who walked in and out of them, considering the way they walked, how some appeared dreary, others animated, and making up backstories for them each in her mind. Some of her stories were sadder than others, and some had the most glorious of tales. She liked to think that she was correct about her human hypotheses, even if she was the furthest thing from it.

She swung her head to the left side of the street she was walking on, and not far ahead, she noticed a rickety looking old bar. After her day's events, she felt she deserved a celebratory drink, so she pushed the heavy door open, stepping into the dimly lit area.

The airy sound of piano filled the air, a joyful demeanor to the place. Couples (which she still envied, even if momentarily the said envy had gone vacant) were dancing about happily. Not a care in the world. Not in the moment, at least.

But when she made it past the entrance, that moment stopped. It was like every head turned, all conversations paused, the clinking of the piano keys was no longer to be heard. She gave a small nervous smile to the occupants of the room as she walked to the bar itself, standing just a tad bit taller at the attention. 

And as soon as the moment had stopped, it seemed to have started back up again when she ended up at her destination. Because as she had learned, time truly never stopped for anyone. 

The piano’s melody resumed, everyone was back on their feet in no time. She took a look around, soaking up the atmosphere in complete awe, feeling free as a bird of some sort.

Soon enough, she was slowly sipping away at her concoction while facing the splintering door, her head occupied with thoughts concerning what came next, how she would handle the effects of this adrenaline high she was now stepping off. Her thinking was interrupted, though, by a deep voice and a tap on the shoulder, making her jump in her seat.

“‘Scuse me?”

She turned on her stool to face whoever it was that wanted her attention. Both figures eyes widened at the sight of the other, shock spreading across their faces.

“Well if it isn’t James Barnes!” She spoke, genuine excitement filling her soul. He called out her old nickname, contended with his discovery.

“It’s been awhile! And please, doll, it’s Bucky.” He reminded her with a charming smile. A warm blush rose up from her neck to her cheeks, and butterflies suddenly hatched in her stomach, fluttering about like nobody's business. She nodded, taking another sip from her drink to avoid meeting his eyes (which were much prettier than she ever had remembered from school). 

The clean shaven boy- or man as of late, pulled out a chair next to her, sitting down. The two engaged in friendly conversation, their laughs mixing in the warm, thick air with the sounds of the music. Her heart was beating out of her chest, leaving her feeling like a schoolgirl with a crush all over again.

After some time of very pleasant conversation, a less effervescent matter had risen.

“So,” James began, taking a swig from his glass. “Still with that souse, what was his name,” he said, snapping his fingers. “Jake! That’s his name, Jake!” 

The girl shook her head and rolled her eyes with a laugh.

He was enchanted already.

She began to tell a toned down version of the occurrences with Jake, Bucky remaining captivated by her presence the entire time. James would speak up every few statements, always resulting in her losing her place, not that she minded.

Towards the end of the so called story, there was an interruption towards the front of the bar. 

The moment stopped once more, but in a quite different manner than how it did when she had first entered.

He hollered out her name, followed by an equally as loud “Where are you?” He turned to a man to his left. “Where is she?” He slurred. The scruffy man only shrugged, scooting away from the drunken one that had walked into the brick building.

“Jake, what are you doing here?” She questioned, slowly walking towards the man, trying not to upset him further. 

“Why’d you leave me, huh?! Why’d you cause a scene and go?” He was hysterical. Tears ran down his red face and his hands feverishly grabbed at his scraggly locks for some sense of comfort. 

“Jake, you’re not in your right mind. Leave me alone and go home, you’re leaving your mother worrying, I’m sure of it.”

Her voice began to shake, ripples of emotion that had been repressed for the past years bubbling up to the surface, taunting her, threatening her, to erupt.

And God, his mother, his poor mother.

The frail old woman was half the reason she had even stayed with Jake in the first place,

Her heart was weak, and her son’s behavior never left her any room to breath. So the girl would dedicate much of her time to cooking meals for the widowed Ms. Nelson, bringing them over and sitting with her for hours on end, speaking with her of Jake’s childhood, memories of her late husband spending time with the boy along with it.

Her favorite stories throughout them all, though, were the ones of Jake’s childhood pup, a golden retriever called Benjamin.

Ms. Nelson loved to tell the story of how odd it was that the young boy chose the human name, rather than something frivolous and fun, like Buddy, or Peanut.

So a teary eyed version of the girl would think back to that story whenever Jake would behave in this manner, she would think of Benjamin and a youthful Jake, frolicking in the Oklahoma fields where Jake had grown up.

An extremely happy child, an even sweeter boy.

But no longer could she do so. Not now, after Jake had gone and betrayed her for some random girl.

Some random girl who would never sit with his mother for hours, listening to her weep about her broken son who she pretended to not notice was silently suffering. Some random girl who wouldn’t comfort him when he had a rough day at work, trying to be an active distraction so that he wouldn’t turn to his vice.

Because she had loved Jake Nelson, even if she wanted to pretend she didn’t.

And it hurt her to walk away, but she had to, for his own good.

Which led her to push the image of a golden fluff ball and the face of a smiling small boy out of her mind completely, weighing herself down to the present, meeting Jake’s sad emerald eyes. She walked forward, taking him by the shoulders. Her voice was hushed as she spoke.

“Jake. You’ve become someone I don’t know, someone that’s hard to love. But I did it anyway for a long, long time. Maybe some other time, perhaps even in another life, we can be together. But that all depends on you.

You’ve hurt me, and I can’t pretend you haven’t any longer, Jake. So go home. Please.”

Her eyes hunted through his, sifting for some sign of reassurance that he understood the gravity of the situation.

“But I love you-” He whispered, acting a stuttering mess. Everyone at the bar had gone back to whatever they were doing before he came into the room, not wanting to involve themselves in whatever mess it was obvious the two of them were in.

She took hold of the brown fabric of his coat, gently turning him towards the door. She walked behind him, her hand not leaving his back for some subconscious fear he would do something he would regret once he was of sober mentality.

She discarded it as nonsense;

But nevertheless, her death grip on him never faltered, even for a moment.

As soon as she made it outside, she waved over a cab, the bright yellow vehicle being the only completely visible object in the cool night.

It pulled over with a loud screech, leaving rubber tracks on the damp asphalt. She wrinkled her nose, before digging around her embroidered bag in a flurry, pulling together $5.27 exactly. She knew it would be enough to cover the long ride from the factory to his home, as the high cost of the ride was one of his many worries he did his best to forget in any way he could possibly fathom.

So she told the cabbie his address, helping Jake into the back of the car. He held her hand and looked up to her with pleading eyes. She squeezed it once before putting his back on his lap.

“Goodnight, Jake.” She smiled softly, briefly touching his cheek before shutting the door. She saw him look out the dirty window, before leaning back into the leather headrest and letting his tired eyes flutter to a close, finding momentary bliss, despite all going on around him.

She took a deep breath, wrapping her cardigan tighter around her shoulders, watching him until the taxi was just barely visible, to where calling it a yellow blob would be generous. But she followed it with her eyes not a moment later, for she had some explicable fear from a tall-tale her mother had told her long ago, about how you would never see someone again if you watched them off completely.

Whether that be by death or some curious mishap along the journey towards it, she never quite felt the urge to find out. And one could take that as a bitter yet nectarous testament to her feelings towards Jake, but even if she wanted to, she wasn’t even sure if she could herself.

She revolved in zombie like fashion, too caught up in her own world once more, to notice a certain brown haired (soon to be, not that he knew it) sergeant.

A stormy look of displeasure had casted itself across his stark features, but his cerulean eyes remained cordial, almost like a safe haven of calm waters to find refuge in.

And almost like in every cliche love story that ever was, she bumped into Bucky, gasping before transitioning into an expression of her regret, a waterfall of apologies gushing from her lips.

He called her by her nickname once more, catching her attention and making her heart skip a beat.

“Seriously, it’s alright, no harm done.”

She zipped her mouth shut, so to say, and just gave a curt nod before starting to go inside. And ever the gentleman, Bucky let her get halfway to the door before calling out her name. She turned once more, salty droplets beginning to roll down her face. 

“Yes?”

He looked down to his feet and then to the bustling city street beside him. After much contemplation in the span of what felt like hours (but was only a few moments), he met her eye.

“I know it’s not my place, and if you don’t wanna talk ‘bout it, we don’t have to, but what happened in there-”

He paused, taking a deep breath in a futile effort to put his nerves at bay, keep the storm from shore to the best of his abilities. He puffed his cheeks, offering his arm before retreating it again, similarly to the way Jake had however many hours ago.

“You don’t deserve that.” He shook his head, left to right, his ungelled hair shiny under the yellow street lights, making him look like an angel.

“I know.”

He shuffled closer to her, stuffing his hands in his pockets. The wind howled around them in an agonizing manner, how lone wolves under a full moon would do the same.

They watched as their frosty breaths floated like smoke in the air, their faces illuminated by the storefront displays lining the streets from Christmas that was only a few days prior, leaving no time to take down the brightly colored decor. You could practically hear the animated Santa Claus’ “Ho ho ho!” from where he sat in the front of a toy store, beckoning those who walked past to come on inside and take a look, maybe spend a few dollars.

But to Y/n, it felt as if the cheery old man was simply mocking her as she was in her current state.

“Really, I mean that, I do.”

Now to reiterate, Bucky was a gentleman, that much was clear. So although he outright wanted to tell her that it seemed as if she didn’t realize her own worth and that, Hell, Steve could treat her better than that punk. But alas, he kept it to himself, only doing his best to comfort her, upsetting her further, never an intention in his mind.

She nodded, giving a tight lipped smile. “Thanks, really.”

She shivered, admiring the red and green lights around her, her glazed over eyes reflecting the image of them beautifully, almost like a work of stained glass art in her iris.

“You wanna head back inside? You look kinda chilly.”

“Oh, no, thank you. I’m just going to stay out here for awhile.”

“I’ll leave you to it.”

All that was heard then, was the clicking of his shoes against the cobblestone, with the occasional car whizzing past. But then, she asked him to stay.

Her voice was soft, so much so, in fact, that she possessed what Bucky would say was mistakable for the voice of a mouse, which he would know after spending as many years around Steve that he had. He almost had missed it, but by some miracle, maybe a lucky star, he didn’t

So he turned around, not saying anything to disturb her seemingly exteriorly serene state, only walking up behind her, pulling off his jacket and placing it on top of her shoulders. He smoothed it out briefly, his touch feather light. For he wasn’t sure if he was breaching a certain level of intimacy, breaking any boundaries, with a woman who was practically a stranger.

“Is this alright?”

She nodded again.

“This is fine.” She closed her eyes, feeling much warmer now, but she was slightly torn on if the newfound comfort was accredited to the jacket resting upon her shoulders, or the company standing patiently beside her.

She was starting to think it might just be a little bit of both.

-

June 14th, 1943

The two's relationship (if you could call it that) was painstakingly slow, not that Bucky ever minded.

Word of the war and when, not who, would get drafted had spread, and any waking second for the past years, she was terrified the man she was developing ever strong feelings for would be ripped away with only a moments notice.

But regardless of that, she had a hard time trusting him, that much was true. It wasn’t his fault, not in the slightest. She wished more than anything to forget her past with Jake, but it was no use. So it took her much time to be able to trust James. But he was patient, and he always stayed.

So when he did get called away, it was a rude awakening.

She had only recently met Steve, before Bucky (who she still called James) was sent overseas. Her maternal instinct she didn’t even know she had immediately kicked into overdrive at first sight of the sickly boy, making her promise Buck that she would watch over him, much to Steve’s dismay. Although, there was no doubt in any of their minds she would in the first place, it was a given.

(Steve secretly loved the way she fussed over him, but he would never admit to that.)

The three of them had a lovely time at the Stark Expo the night before Bucky left, leaving a happy new memory for Y/n to drift to whenever she missed the scent of sandalwood, sweat, and his cologne, that was all uniquely him.

She would picture entangling her arms with Steve and Bucky’s own as she skipped happily, pulling the boys along behind her; not too rough of course, for Steve’s sake

She had been full of an electric happiness that night, stealing kisses with James when Steve wasn’t looking, a pink tint falling upon his plump cheeks. She stole his hat right off his head of hair that she loved to run her fingers through so much and put it on, crooked so much so it nearly fell right off. She wore it the whole rest of the night, Bucky wanting to never see her take it off, if it were possible.

Later that night when he took her home, she stood by the doorway, the porch light doing a sad job of lighting up the area, casting a faint amber glow across James’ features.  

The hairs left astray from where she had Bucky’s hunter green cap previously were lit up, forming a halo. 

She was a wondrous mess, and James simply adored her in that moment.

(He also adored her in any other instance since the minute he had laid his eyes on her, but the point still stands.)

You could smell the grass if you had tried, freshly cut and still damp from the late night shower they had run through while making their way home, turning through twisty alleyways, feet pattering against walkways.

Their hands had been slipping apart the entire time, perhaps an attempt by Freyr for a cruel joke in the last hours the lovers would spend together before James was to leave.

Maybe he was up in the sky at Mount Olympus, laughing down at the two mortals as the girl kept her hand gripped securely around the man’s stronger limb, refusing under any circumstances to let go. Maybe his laugh turned to a fond smile from above, finding pleasure in how his jest resulted in such an act of youthful care, not minding in the slightest that it had been counterproductive in the best ways.

“Thank you, James. I had an amazing night.”

He grinned ear to ear, awkwardly shuffling closer to her silhouette.

“Same here, doll.”

And just like that, she had crumbled like a coffee cake, another warm and itchy wave silking up her neck. Past the neckline of the uncomfortable dress she wore because she knew Bucky loved it (even though he would no longer love it and would insist she never wear it again if his ears heard any words of upset at the garment fall past her lips).

It traveled right past her best pearls with the rhinestone right in the center that she had made sure to wear because James had once told her that they made her eyes sparkle, that sly son of a gun.

The twinkle truly had been there solely because of him on that day and most others, but she would allow him to believe what he wanted to believe until the end of time, if it kept that boyish smile cemented on his pretty face.

But as it eventually always would, his smile began to falter, shifting into a slight pout, then into a full on frown as soon as her eyes had become visibly misty.

Bucky reached a hand forward snatching the cap from her head. She huffed, and he rolled his eyes as he placed it back on his head. 

“I’ll be needing this tomorrow, sorry, sweetheart.”

They both laughed for a moment, the memories of the night still fresh in their young minds.

“I’m going to miss you, James.”

Her chin suddenly quivered, her nose ran, and her thoughts were racing at the speed of light.

She couldn’t lose him. No, not yet, she wasn’t ready, she wouldn’t ever be ready. She hadn't even begun to express to him how much she loved him, let alone that she couldn’t bear to live a day without him (as the information was quite new to her as well). So how in God’s name was she supposed to ship him off to war, just like that, practically a sitting duck for those bastard nazis to poke and prod at all they want?

“I’ll miss you more, darlin’. More than you know.”

They both made an attempt at watery smiles that ended up looking more like two painful grimaces, which was more of a reflection of their current moods than the aforementioned. His eyes pleaded with her to say something, anything. One of her quick witted facts, maybe a scolding perhaps, for having such a negative attitude in the current predicament.

Not able to stare at his collapsing facade any longer, she stepped forward, wrapping her arms around his neck. She quickly reciprocated, placing a strong hand on her waist.

There was a longing look in her eyes as the gears of her brain turned, carefully formulating what she wanted to say.

“Marry me.”

Well, formulating is a strong word.

He laughed at the notion, the sound ringing out and echoing off the small porch. But the whimsical tune soon halted when he realized he was the only one making it.

“Doll, are you serious?”

“Never been more serious about anything in my life, James.” She moved her hands to take his, holding them up to her chest and shaking them as she spoke with a supplicate glance. He said her nickname in a careful manner, trying to articulate a response, muttering something about not having a ring, how their families (Becca included) would be furious they missed the wedding. But she was having none of it.

“Well I’m sure given the circumstances, they’d understand, and if they don’t then oh well. And quite frankly, as for the ring, I could care less, James, make a ring out of paper and slap it on my finger, it's all the same to me. We can go to the court tomorrow morning before I see you off-”

She moved her head down to where Bucky was gazing, tilting it back up with her pointer finger.

“Let me marry you, dammit.”

They laughed for a second, both of them this time, although her’s was much more convincing.

“But why now?”

She paused again, the only sound to be heard was the soft chirping of the crickets hidden in the grass.

“Because I know you're far too much of a gentleman to leave me widowed, James Barnes.”

He pressed soft kisses on her knuckles, meeting her eyes.

“Have I told you how much I love you?”

“Oh, only every day.”

He rolled his eyes and smiled, pulling her in by the waist. He connected their lips, and felt her smile into the kiss. He also happened to feel a hand creeping up to where his hat rested on the crown of his head, but the feeling wasn’t prolonged.

She snatched it off his shiny locks with a devilish grin, a sparkle in her eye shining like the North star Bucky soon would be gazing upon at night to direct him through the dark nights.

“You should keep that on for forever, you know. Looks better on you, anyway.”

She raised a messy eyebrow, the corner of her bright red mouth turning into a smirk.

“Oh really, is that so?”

Bucky hummed and nodded, kissing her nose and watching in delight as it crinkled up and a high pitched giggle escaped from her lips. Then it was quiet for some time, the only thing able to be heard was the droplets of rainwater sliding off the roof and plopping on the floor as her and James stood in contemplation.

“I’ll marry you, doll.”

She smiled at him warmly, leaning into his larger frame completely, the scratchy green fabric of his uniform flush against her cheek.

“I know.”

He barked a loud laugh, and she felt it through the fabric covering his chest, savouring the feeling.

“You know? Well how did you know?”

She only sighed, moving to open her rickety front door, which the whole neighborhood probably knew judging by the squeak that echoed from it.

“Because, just as I said before. You’re a gentleman. You’d never turn down a proposal in public, especially not from me.”

Bucky’s face contorted, and the gears of his head turned as he made an honest effort at understanding how they were in public.

“But, we’re not?”

She shook her head, stepping into her home and then turning to face him straight on.

“Technically, we were on the patio, which is in the yard, which is in the neighborhood, which is in public. Now, if I were to propose to you right now with you-”

She tugged his arm, forcing him into the building. 

“-also in my home, you would have every right to say no.”

She looked up, scanning his features. Admiring his cheekbones, his lips, and his sharp jaw. But most prevalently, she found herself absolutely enchanted by his eyes, as she always was.

“But I won’t.”

“But you won’t.”

She smiled, the look on her face resembling that of a fox smirking at her prey. She waltzed to the door, closing it softly.

“So,” she began, taking hold of Bucky’s hands.

“Tomorrow morning it is, then?”

“I think it is.”

“Whatever shall we do in the meantime?” She questioned, both of them having ideas that were entirely the same.

“I think I might have an inkling of an idea.”

She huffed, wrapping her arms around his waist.

“You and your ideas, James. Always ‘thinking’ of something new.”

He only hummed in agreement, nuzzling his forehead against hers, before moving down to her ear.

“I’d like to believe I act on those ideas. Would you agree?”

You can most likely guess her answer.

-

The next morning was a mixture of great sorrow and great joy all at once. Sure, they had to get up at the crack of dawn on what would be Bucky’s last chance to sleep in for a very long time, and sure, the minister had given them very strange looks, but it had been done.

And to the newly wed Mr and Mrs. Barnes, it was worth it completely.

But nearly as soon as the exciting event had ended, she was standing on the slimy pebbles of Brooklyn's Pier 57, doing her best to not lose her footing on the wet stones. She had given James one final goodbye kiss, before watching him board the Dominion Monarch to be shipped off to England.

The large vessel departed, and for once, she allowed a few tears to slip down her blushed cheeks, her smeared mascara coming with it, just as she knew it would. The bitter droplets were warm, a juxtaposition to the feeling in the pit of her stomach formed by the voice nagging at her that Bucky would never see her again. That her wedding day would be the last time she would ever see her husband. It was a possible reality she never wanted to have to face.

And after so long, she decided she was tired of waiting. So she made a call.

“Hello? Is this Agent Margaret Carter?”

-

December 25th, 1943

Bucky Barnes was not opposed to the idea of Y/n joining the army. He was appalled.

So when on the crisp morning of December 25th, it was quite a surprise when he opened what he had presumed to be a letter wishing him a Merry Christmas from his wife, and rather receiving some interesting news.

He had been laying his backside against a tree, the scratchy bark feeling rather uncomfortable. He smiled, smiled at the news of his wife going to war, not that he knew, when Steve handed him the parchment, taking another sip of some watered down joe from an aluminum cup, before excitedly ripping into it like a little boy.

“I wanted to save it for today,” Steve had told him, his chest puffed out in pride for keeping the secret for so long.

Bucky initially had found it humorous and exciting, why wouldn’t he have? But his mood soon changed after reading just a few lines in.

“James, my love,

I hope this message finds you and the rest of the boys in good health, tell them I wish them all a happy Christmas, as well. There really isn’t a simple way to put this, and I hope it doesn’t put a damper on your holiday spirit, but I’ve been tired of sitting around, so I’ve spoken to Steve’s friend, Agent Carter. I now have enlisted in the SSR as Agent Barnes.”

The paper clenched in his fist, his eyes screwing shut. He didn’t even bother reading the rest before standing up and walking over to Steve, a fiery look set in his eyes. Steve soon caught on to his anger, standing up and parting his lips as he neared.

“Steve, did you know?”

Steve, a horrible liar, shrugged, furrowing his brows. “About what? Buck, what's wrong?”

“Don’t lie to me, Rogers! Did you know about her enlisting?”

At that, it went silent in the forest aside from the rustling of the branches, and the chirps of early rising blackbirds. 

The rest of the Commandos turned, eyes wide, shoulders hunched. Steve gestured for them to calm down and return to normal with a dramatic sweep of his arms, with most of them complying, but not without a few snarky comments from Dum Dum and Gabe protesting the treatment.

“Listen, I tried to stop her-”

“Well apparently, you did a horrible job. God, Agent Barnes. That’s what she'll be known as now. We'll have the whole bunch! Sarge and Agent, wow, we are gonna be one decorated family, ain’t that right, Steve?”

Bucky was ranting and rambling now, spewing angry nonsense at Steve as if that would change a thing. Steve felt a pang of guilt, hanging his head and biting his knuckle.

“Buck, is it a problem that she’ll be an Agent?”

Bucky paused, his nostrils flaring and his eyes slanting.

“Of course it’s a problem, Steve! If they put her in the field, God knows what’ll happen! What if I have to see that name on a plaque some day, huh? In a museum, in some memorial for fallen agents.” His arm put emphasis on every word he shouted, and his voice had grown raspy, tears slipped from the corners of his eyes.

Steve sat his exasperated friend down, putting a comforting arm on his shoulder in an attempt to calm him. It distressed Steve to see Bucky this upset, after all he had done for him over the years. So if he could try to make him feel even the slightest bit relieved, he would in any way he had to.

“Bucky?”

He looked up, his eyes red and nose puffy.

“Think about how you're feeling right now. The fear, the hurt, the anxiety, all of it.”

“Steve, I don’t get how this is going to help me-”

“Just trust me.”

Bucky nodded, slumping over again.

“That’s how she feels. That’s how she felt when the war was announced, how she felt when you submitted your draft, how she felt when you were called away, Hell, how she feels every second of every hour that you’re not with her.”

“Still not helping.”

“Shut up, jerk.” They laughed, Steve elbowing him in his shoulder. The sound echoed through the lush green of the space, the tension noticeably thinner.

“The point is, the pain that this all has caused for everyone is inevitable, inescapable. So learn from it, and savour it. In the long run, we’ll be okay, Buck. I promise you that.”

James bit his bottom lip, puncturing the chapped skin, the blood pounding in his head making it hard to process what Steve had said. But what he did manage to gather, was that they would be okay.

-

February 11th, 1944

“Peggy, I’m nervous.”

“What? Are you kidding? You must be kidding, you’re ridiculous.”

Peggy gave the girl a dirty look from where she stood behind her in front of the only full length mirror at the base, looking as she straightened out her skirt and touched up her “victory” colored lip.

“I’m not kidding, Peg. What if he’s mad?”

The other agent only laughed, briefly touching her on the shoulder before walking around her to where a map of the Hydra bases they had been tracking were laid out. Peggy fiddled with one of the flags for a moment, speaking to a soldier nearby. She impatiently tapped her crimson nails on the board, the sound driving her friend insane. Peggy then began to speak, not even looking up from where she stood, bent over as she examined something else.

“Darling, the only thing Barnes will be mad about by now, is not seeing you for so long. If he was angry before, he’s long forgotten about it, I assure you that.”

She nodded (even though nobody except a nosy recruit had witnessed it).

“You know what, I think you’re right. Thanks, Peg.”

Margaret half smiled, “mmhm” ing, but keeping her head down. She did, however, lift it up when she heard the other woman’s heels clicking in the opposite direction.

“Excuse me?” Peggy remarked, brows raised and her arms crossed.

Agent Barnes turned, her painted lips beckoning Peggy to go on in a most humorous manner.

“We aren’t done here! Get over here and help me mark this up, I’m nearly finished.”

She rolled her eyes, to which Peggy only rushed her more.

By the time they were done (spoiler, she was not almost finished) several hours had passed, and the camp was now lit only by the lanterns and the moon in the obsidian sky.

The stars were visibly bright that night, twinkling like small diamonds without the restriction of smoke from busy factories and the blockage of the ever so fascinating skyscrapers.

Mr and Mrs. Barnes both were watching the stars that night, smiling at the thought of the other doing the same.

Yes, even Bucky, smiling at the thought of his wife despite his neck developing a crick from having laid on the knapsack in the back of the truck for so long. A lovestruck glance was still plastered on his face as he stared up, the road bumpy underneath the wheels of the vehicle. His body would jolt as a cause from this every once in a while, but he paid it no mind, the soft smile staying put.

Steve watched Bucky’s facial expressions, a grin coming across his own features.

“You thinkin’ about her?”

Steve looked up to the sky.

“Always am.”

-

“I know you want to wait up for him, but I promise as soon as I get word of if he’s here, I’ll wake you. You need rest.”

The agent only smiled, her eyes staying trained on the stars above. “I’ll come to bed soon, Peg. I swear.”

But Margaret knew her friend all too well, so she simply bid her goodnight and shook her head.

She whispered, though her friend was too far away to hear her, laying on her backside and tucking her arms behind her head on the damp grass.

“Goodnight, Peggy.”

She had fallen asleep on the green that night, the stars wooing her into a slumber with thoughts of her beloved. She was only awoken when she felt the ground rumble beneath her, and heard the loud whirring of a hummer engine. She sat up, pressing her hands in the wet soil. She squinted and was barely able to make out two tall men jumping out from the back of the car. 

She was initially unsure of who it was, but a shield being reflected on by the pale moonlight, and a hearty laugh soon confirmed her suspicions. She gasped and only to herself muttered Bucky’s name, picking herself up off the ground, running as fast as her feet could take her. 

“James! James!”

He turned his head from where he was talking to Colonel Phillips, immediately recognizing the voice as his wife’s. By the time he had noticed, she was already to him, so all he could do was welcome her with open arms. Literally.

She jumped into his arms, planting kisses all over his face. He laughed and laughed, Steve, and the Colonel, too, cracking a smile at the two’s reunion. She pulled away momentarily, looking over his dirty face. She ran her fingertips over the scratches and gashes, still having a hard time believing that after all this time, even under all the grime and blood and sweat, it was truly him. 

“Sarge, it’s been awhile.” She giggled out, wrapping her arms around his neck.

“Same to you, Mrs. Barnes. Too long.” He commented, leaning forward and burying himself in her neck, allowing her to cradle him. He inhaled her perfume, taking the scent to memory for when he would inevitably have to go away once again, leaving her behind.

(So he thought.)

“That would be Agent Barnes to you.”

Bucky saluted, nodding and throwing a wink in her direction, before leaning in and planting a firm kiss to her lips that now only had remnants of red left around the edges from when she had applied it earlier on in the day. Their voices were now reduced to raspy whispers, both of them completely out of breath.

“Well either way, I’ve missed you greatly, Agent Barnes.”

“I’m glad we feel the same way.”

The two of them also felt extremely tired, leaving them to fall asleep that night packed side by side on a small cot in the corner of Steve’s tent. The brown sheets were horribly scratchy, and they had to mainly rely on each others bodies for heat. But despite this, all felt well, as if this new normal was finally worth it. 

-

In the morning, Steve had wanted to let the pair sleep in as long as humanly possible. The sun rising was one thing the great Captain America couldn't prevent, though. So as yellow light began to stream through the barely there material of their temporary home, the Barnes’ were given a somewhat pleasant awakening. 

Birds sang, bugs hummed, and the loud voices of Steve and Bucky’s soldiers could be heard, along with Steve occasionally hushing them if they came too close to their tent, still trying to preserve their well deserved rest. 

The thought made her smile, eyes slowly coming to an open. Bucky’s hand grew tighter on her waist, running circles on the silky fabric by her hip. Hers delicately made its way to brush messy brown locks from James’ closed eyes, the feeling comparable to a feather tickling the bridge of his nose. 

He scrunched it, blinking a few times, before commiting the view of waking up to the face of his wife for the first time to his memory, locked away to where Hydra would hopefully never take it. 

“Good morning, Agent Barnes.”

She shook her head, snuggling further into his chest and stretching her arms. “Mmmhm, not right now.” He placed a confused hand on her back, tracing a line up and down.“I thought it was only Agent Barnes?”

“Not in bed, James.”She looked up, smiling ear to ear. “Right now, I’m your wife, and only your wife.”

It was quiet in the tent, then. But always the one to break the silence, Bucky began to speak, his morning voice so incredibly low that it sent a shiver down her spine. 

“I mean, being my wife is a job in itself.”

They laughed, she shook her head and whacked his chest.

“Right you are.”

She stood up out of bed, shifting her hair to one shoulder with her hand. The glass on the face of her small watch reflected onto the walls, painting a rainbow stripe of light above Bucky’s head. She moved about, her babydoll pink colored slip moving along with her, almost as a toga would flow behind a goddess in the wind. James watched in amazement from his position propped up on his elbows, complete and total awe evident in his heart eyes for his wife. 

God, how he loved to say that, and hear it roll off of his tongue. Just to think it, even.

His wife.

He truly was a lucky man. And as she felt holes being stared into her back, she turned and giggled at Bucky’s antics.

“Now, I know your mother taught a gentleman such as yourself that ogling at women is rude, hmm?” She questioned, throwing the discarded slip at Bucky’s peeping eyes, then pulling on her uniform and beginning to fix her hair and makeup. Fingers moved quickly and expertly as she went about, her red nails almost appearing to move so quickly they were blurring.

He scoffed, forcing his nimble fingers through his knotted hair that could have been comparable to the nest that the very birds that played a hand in awakening them had resided in.

“Even if that woman is my very beautiful wife who I haven’t seen since I went away for war?”

He looked up, eyes bluer than Bing Cosby’s. (Sure, she had only seen them in the magazines, but hey, they seemed quite nice.) She finished putting on her lipstick, walking over and placing a hand under his chin. He looked up in a dreamy haze, basically begging for her lips to be placed on his.

She rolled her eyes and placed a long and sweet kiss upon his plump lips, restoring some of the color that sleep had stolen from them. She giggled at the lipstick left on his ivory skin, wetting her thumb and smudging it in a poor attempt to remove it. He cocked his head like some sort of puppy, slimming his eyes in an amused confusion.

“I guess that’s an exception.”

She leaned forward, leaving a short peck on his forehead, before ruffling his hair and making her way out of the tent. She briefly stopped hanging onto the post that acted as a door of sorts.

“Also, brush your teeth and hair, James. You stink.”

They smiled goofily at each other and she bit her lip, bidding him goodbye. And with that, she was off.

It was later in the day, now, and Bucky, Steve, and the rest of the commandos were in with the Colonel, discussing an upcoming mission. Peggy and Agent Barnes were decoding some of the Hydra messages the commandos had gathered on their previous mission in their general vicinity at the same time.

The paper was yellowed and stiff under her fingers, her eyes could barely stay focused on the multiple symbols in front of her, practically jumping off the page, vibrating at a high frequency.

She briefly closed her eyes and took a breath, trying to free her mind of the distraction that was her husband and honorary little (not so much now physically, but still) brother planning what sounded like an incredibly dangerous mission.

It was like a buzzing in her ear, the mention of capturing one of Hydra’s most valued scientists, and risking their lives in the process. And of course, he often did do just that, risking his life.

But call it wife's intuition, (Is that a thing? She isn’t sure) but she had a horrible feeling about it in the pit of her stomach. Something was telling her she should hug him a little tighter, kiss him a little harder, that kind of thing. And perhaps it could be discarded as the paranoia that had spread through many spouses as the war had started up, in fact, she wished it was.

Too lost in her own thoughts, it took Bucky’s hand on her shoulder to wake her from her trance. He began to quietly and cautiously speak her name in his position.

She turned, jumping ever so slightly. 

“Doll, you alright? Colonel was calling your name, you seemed real out of it.” He placed a hand on her forehead, then to her cheek, checking for any signs of a possible fever.

She didn’t reply to his concerns, only setting her hand utop his, leaning into him and closing her eyes. She opened them only moments later to see James squinting, his glance serious. He was quiet as he spoke, hesitating slightly. He muttered her name, trying to meet her eyes. He looked to see what was wrong, analyzing her, so badly wanting to fix whatever hurt there was lingering in her heart.

They stayed in that position for a while, the rest of the office seemingly standing still. She was the first to remove her hand, Bucky’s following suite.

“There’s a mission, in the Alps. Colonel wants you to come with the commandos and I, Peggy’s to stay here and work coms. He said something ‘bout needing someone who can sneak into places they shouldn’t be.” He chuckled, the sound bringing slight reassurance to her worrying mind.

“I’ll brief you tonight.”

She nodded, looking to her feet and whispering a quiet “okay”. They exchanged I love you’s, and then all that was heard was the faint clicking of James’ boots as he left her standing.

-

March 2nd, 1945

It was downright freezing in the Swiss forest.

And It would have been unbearable, if it weren’t for the fact she had Bucky to keep her warm, the man acting as a living furnace despite the frigid temperatures. The trek to do recom on the train they were intercepting was treacherous, feet ached, fingers were frosted, and the group spent much of their time (minus Steve, he had done enough of that when he was a sickly 90 pound asmatic) complaining to Mrs. Barnes, much to her dismay.

Usually, she would tell them off with a shake of her head or a slap to the arm, discarding their whines are nonsense.

In return for putting up with said nonsense, the commandos took her under their wing, so to say.

They never treated her differently than the rest of the group (or else she would have probably made her displeasure known, which both James and Steven warned them heavily against). Sharing the scotch, poking fun. In fact, if it weren’t for the nature of their escapade, she would have gone as far to say that she was having fun.

The only exception to this treatment was if she had to change, oftentimes borrowing a henley of Bucky’s or a pair of his trousers, the extra fabric heating her up quite nicely. Bucky would stand in front of whatever tree trunk she was hiding behind, watching to make sure no wandering eyes made any shameful attempts to catch a glimpse.

But overall, they worked well together, and were beginning to grow into a family, not that any of them would admit it.

“Buck?”

“Yeah?”

“What’re the chances this goes horribly wrong?”

He looked to his right to meet her eyes, wrapping an arm around his wife. They both turned back to the landscape of mountains, which were ironically quite beautiful. They were greeted with howling wind biting their noses and cheeks, causing her to let out a yelp, turning her head and tucking into Bucky’s arm briefly. He smiled and stroked the top of her messily tied back hair, allowing her to momentarily find comfort within his hold for what they didn't know would be the last time.

“With me? Nah, We’ll be alright. Zero to none.”

She rolled her eyes and smiled at his cocky behavior as she always would, his smirk settling her nerves.

“Yeah.” She exhaled. “We’ll be alright.”

-

March 4th, 1945

The brick remains of the pub were dimly lit by the lone street lamp standing bravely on the cobblestone, illuminating the puffy faces of the two sitting inside. Steve, stone cold sober, and Agent Barnes, drunk and with tears streaming down her flushed skin. The dust had barely settled; it could still be felt, burning her nostrils.

She heard heels, a telltale sign that Peggy had arrived, sorting through the rubble.

She had approached calmly, observing the situation. Steve muttered something about not being able to get drunk, earning some heartfelt speech from the other agent and a proclamation of a newfound fire for justice in Steve. But Peggy’s sorrowful glance soon became unreadable, then transitioning into one of anger and sympathy, however that was possible.

She tried calling the surviving Barnes’ name, voice stern. She snatched the bottle from her friends hand, noticing she had downed the whole thing.

She began some winded spiel, none of it processing, only a faint buzz in one ear out the other.

“I know you’re hurting, but James would have wanted you to pick yourself up, an-”

“He lied. You know that? The bastard lied.”

She wiped a singular tear from her left eye, staring blankly at the ring that still managed to shine even then, in what was close to total darkness in every sense.

“He said that we would be alright. That him and I would be okay. And then he went and you know what he did, Peg? He died.”

Steve looked up, and stood, walking to where she was across from him. 

He gently tugged her up and wordlessly pulled her into a hug.

She was stiff as a board at first but slowly melted into it, realizing that it felt nice to be cared for by him like she did all those years ago, the favor being returned when she most needed it.

“We’ll fix this, I promise.”

She closed her eyes tighter, digging her nails into his shoulders.

“I know.”

-

May 26th, 1945

“Steve, I’m not leaving you!”

“Go, grab the parachute and go, I’ll send your coordinates to Peggy! Both of us don’t have to die.”

“Steve, it’s alright.”

He met her eyes, water pooling in both of their orbs.

“I’ll be with him.” She forced a smile, taking hold of one of Steve’s gloved hands.

“It’s not too late for you to go, Stevie. I’ll put her in the water. If you wait any longer you won’t make it.”

The time was passing, they could hear the uncomfortable sloshing of the Arctic water below them, coming closer and closer. Jagged ice taunted them, glistening faintly in the light.

“Please, don’t do this to Peg.”

Steve had made his decision, as had she.

“See you on the other side, Barnes.”

The sound was difficult to decipher at the command center, static intercepting the voices of the pair as they bargained with death. But it was clear enough in order for everyone to realize what was happening.

Heads were bowed, tears fell, and even the Colonel allowed a salty drop to roll down his weathered cheek.

Steve and Peggy conversed, while Barnes sat next to Steve, closing her eyes. She was content. She was finally going home.

“I’d hate to step on your-”

Then, the line went dead.

“See ya, Rogers.”

-

2011

“This guy is still alive!”

“And the girl?”

The other man only shook his head.

-

2013

Skye dragged her finger along the etchings on the gray stone, mentally reading the names of fallen soldiers and agents.

“S.H.I.E.L.D.'s history can be traced on walls like this.”

Then she came upon something peculiar. Her finger lingered momentarily, the name on the plaque bringing back memories of when she was a young girl in school, learning about James Buchanan Barnes, one of two Howling Commandos to have died in the line of duty. The other, she couldn’t quite seem to remember.

“Huh. Bucky Barnes.” She looked a moment longer, reading the script underneath James’ name. 

“There was another Barnes?”

She turned to Agent Ward who was standing behind her, arms crossed and chin down.

“Yeah. They were married. Some say she put that plane in the water on purpose. That she could have left, but wanted to see him again after he died.

Puts it in perspective- What we do.”

-

2014

The lights in the exhibit were bright, too bright. Faces were plastered everywhere, familiar faces. The soldier felt lost without his handler, no direction whatsoever as he aimlessly wandered.

Aimlessly wandering, what a foreign concept. Not running from an enemy, or sneaking around, a shadow. Free to do whatever he pleases.

He saw his own reflection on a glass panel, information of who he supposedly was written next to it, about when he was born, when he had died. Videos playing on repeat of him and Steve nearby caught his attention, leading him to slowly make his way towards the shiny screen. He saw himself laugh, smiling with whoever this Steve guy was.

Then the screen switched to him and a girl.

In a slight contrast, the girl was the one laughing this time, her smile igniting something within the soldier, overwhelming him with a flurry of emotion and realization.

He panicked, turning to his left, only to see her again, standing next to him in a large mural. She was everywhere and nowhere all at once.

A voice began to speak, clouding his senses even more.

It spoke about Bucky Barnes and Steven Rogers, how they were “inseparable on both schoolyard and battlefield.”

It continued, and his confusion grew even further. It mentioned a girl who had what he learned to be his last name.

Not a mother, or a sister, but a wife.

“They became the only Howling Commandos to give their lives in service of their country."

Her name rang in his head, over and over again. He was married, he had a wife.

Had.

He walked up to where her clothes were displayed under her portrait, reaching a tentative hand out and feeling the fabric, rough from time. He could remember doing that before, but the fabric was silkier, then. It was different as a whole. It was pink satin, and the wearer was his wife, he now could see.

He was in a tent, laying on a scratchy cot, the girl laying with him, in his arms.

“Right now, I’m your wife, and only your wife.” Her smile and laugh were heavenly, her voice like honey. Her touch was smooth and left a tingle in its wake, bringing peace to his bustling mind.

Then he was suddenly back in the museum, hand still planted firmly on the hem of the shirt.

“Excuse me? Sir? You can’t be touching that.”

The soldier turned, facing the scrawny worker. His glasses were too large, hair too short, and pants 2 sizes too big. He gulped, doing a double take from the mural of James Barnes (who last time he checked a history book, had his remains somewhere buried under piles of ice and snow in the mountains of the Alps) and the man in front of him, who matched the recently trending image his coworker showed him of the Winter Soldier, the assassin who had over two dozen kills under his belt.

And if this were a mission, the soldier would have killed the man, executed him without second thought.

But now, he had free will. He had a choice.

So he chose to mutter a low “sorry” under his breath, pulling his baseball cap further over his brow and exiting the facility as quickly as possible.

The worker quit that night.

-

2016

A feed began to play on the tiny screen that Tony, Steve, and Bucky were crowded around, no video, just black with a thin line, moving in accordance with the audio. The sound was choppy, like it had been modified.

Zemo’s beady eyes slanted, a cold smile growing on his bearded face.

“I’ll be with him.”

“What the hell is this?” James yelled the question aimed towards both Zemo and himself.

But Steve knew exactly what it was, knew that voice, knew the feeling of the cold water enveloping him as he did his best to keep her warm in her final moments, a final favor for both Bucky and his wife.

“It’s not too late for you to go, Stevie. I’ll put her in the water. If you wait any longer you won’t make it.”

It was quiet, the line stopped moving. 

“See you on the other side, Barnes.”

“See ya, Rogers.”

The audio cut out.

“It’s her.” Bucky’s metal fist audibly clenched, his eyes darkening.

“You let her die, Steve.”

“Buck-”

“You killed her! I had a wife, and you let her die!”

Steve backed up, instinctively raising the shield from Bucky once more.

“That was her choice, Bucky.”

He was calm. Too calm.

“I don’t give a damn what her choice was, you should’ve pushed her out of that damn plane if you had to.”

“She wouldn’t have survived that fall, Buck, even with a parachute, she probably would have drowned, or gotten hypothermia or-”

“You don’t know that!”

Bucky rushed forward, anger infiltrating every fibre of his being. He threw a punch with his metal arm, a loud clang ringing out as it collided with the vibranium shield.

-

2024

“We’ll meet again

Don’t know where, don’t know when

But I know we’ll meet again some sunny day”

The room was pitch black aside from the blinking light on the record player, letting Bucky know that power was still running through the wires of the machine, keeping the same song spinning, over, and over, and over again.

The same one that’s been playing for the past 2 months. Over, and over, and over again.

The door creaked, sending a stream of light cascading across Bucky’s ridden features from his place where he was sat staring blankly at her tags laying in his flesh hand. He had started wearing them when she insisted, just in case anything were to happen to her, she wanted him to have a physical reminder of her. He had refused to give her his own, not wanting to admit anything might go wrong to where she would need them.

What a joke.

Zola had recovered them from around his neck, later to be stored away and then found by Steve in 2015 during a Hydra base invasion. He had immediately recognized the name pressed onto the material, and assumed someone who was an undercover agent snagged them during the fall of S.H.I.E.L.D., never thinking anything more of it.

“This isn’t healthy, man.” Sam spoke softly from the door, his hand never leaving the doorknob.

“When we got snapped away, I didn’t mind it.”

Sam opened the door even more, sliding in the slim crack, closing it behind him.

Bucky’s glance never faltered.

“I thought that maybe, I’d finally see her again. And, I know it was selfish-” He laughed dryly, meeting Sam’s warm eyes.

“But she wasn’t there. When I died, she wasn’t there.”

Sam’s arms were crossed, now, and he was unsure of how to proceed with the fragile shell of a man in front of him.

“Then everyone came back 5 years later, she still wasn’t there.” He chuckled once more, feeling over her name on the plates, tossing the chain over his head. It was quiet, the record stopped.

“And this sounds crazy, but I got to thinking, that she must still be alive-”

“You know she’s gone, Bucky.”

James stood up, walking over to Sam, a terrifying blaze set in his eyes. He was frantic, hands moving about the air, neck straining.

“She’s not, Hydra has her! I’m certain, just like they had me. What else would explain her not being there?”

“You’re in denial,”

“No, I’m not! She’s waiting for me! She’s waiting for me to come find her, Sam!” He yelled, every word louder than the last.

And Sam Wilson had enough. 

“Alright, that’s it.” He grabbed James by the wrist, taking his chances.

“What are you doing?”

“Putting some sense into you.”

More yelling and fighting ensued, all the way to the car, Bucky only ceasing his behavior upon realizing where they were heading. He was silent, then.

Getting out of the vehicle, they stepped onto freshly wet soil, green patches fading to a burnt orange, the rain a poor attempt at revival. They could hear their own footsteps all the way to their final destination, turmoil settling in.

“Why’d you take me here, Sam?”

It had started raining, the cold droplets making his hair stick to his forehead, and his tears invisible.

Mere inches before him sat two headstones, both fairly worn. The first, reading “Cap. Steven Grant Rogers, a true American hero. Loving brother, friend, and son.”

The second? Her.

Most of the words all blended together, it was clear Steve’s was the only one that had any regular visitors, willing to clean off any dirt or grime, or occasionally bring flowers (always red roses for Cap, as for his wife, he hoped that when it did happen, it was her favorites, lilies. He doubted it was, though). 

The only words that managed to stick out, at least to him, were “Barnes” and “loving wife”. He inhaled, capturing the scent of fresh rain and roses, grounding him. He felt an arm wrap around his shoulders, giving a light squeeze.

“I’m sorry I had to do that, but she’s gone, you know?”

He nodded, squatting down in an awkward position.

“Can I have a minute?”

Sam nodded, turning to go.

“‘Course, I’ll be in the car.”

Bucky waited until he could no longer see the outline of the shorter man, before taking the tags off from where they rested around his neck, positioning them utop the marble slab. He gathered a few weeds, messily shoving them into the vase, dirt and stray blades of grass falling all over the place. He tried to brush it off, only creating a sludge-like watery mixture.

He leaned forward, taking hold of the hard stone.

“I’m coming for you, sweetheart. I promise, I’ll find you.”

“Bucky?” Sam yelled from the car, confused at the extended amount of time his friend was taking.

James turned, yelling over his shoulder, “Coming!”

-

Once Bucky got back to the car, Sam reached over and patted his back, starting the engine.

“You think you’re gonna be okay?”

James only smiled, looking out behind him to where they all said was her final resting place, excitement for the future running through his veins.

“Yeah.” He said, sitting further back into the seat, closing his eyes. 

“I’ll be alright.”

·。·☆·。·。

hi!

disclaimer: (skip if u dont care) so i’ve had personal expiriences w alcoholism, and my pov has changed so much on the disease and as well as how to handle it w more empathy, and i just hope that is conveyed. my hope w my work is never to upset or offend anyone, and i hope u enjoyed. if u have a prob w anything, shoot me a message or ask to chat :)

go drink water, eat protein (if u can!) and take an electronics break. i love u, 

xx hj

#tw alchohol mention #tw alchoholism #tw denial #tw character death #tw war #if theres any more tw u want me to tag lmk pls #bucky barnes #40s!bucky x reader #40!s bucky #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes x y/n #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barnes fic #bucky barnes one shot #bucky fanfic #james buchanan barnes #james barnes #steve rogers #Sebastian Stan #Seb Stan #sebastian x reader #sebastian stan fanfic #bucky barnes fanfic #seb stan imagine #sebastian stan imagine #bucky barnes x oc #seb stan x reader #seb stan x reader smut #sebastian stan imagines

[collisiondiscourse]

i have decided i am now going to blow up your inbox bc i csn i’m sorry codi focnnf

b u t!! anyway i’m going to rambling abt my new dad for all au [whixh was the au i sent you that ask abt]

alrighty so all might is now midoriya’s dad. that’s a thing. i like to think that inko and toshinori were high school sweethearts who broke up after graduation but met again when all might was called to recuse some hostages and inko was one of them!! anywho all might recuses her, they go on a coffee date, realize they’re still in love and start again

they get married and have izuku, who keeps inko’s maiden name [midoriya is now inko’s maiden name bc i do what i want]. he’s the cutest baby who has inko’s green hair, but has one blue and one green eye! [these are /important/] inko and all might talk abt maybe giving izuku all for one when he’s older, but they decide against it bc they don’t know if he’ll have a quirk or not

spoiler!! bitch baby has a quirk!! he gets a quirk that’s so much different than inko’s quirk and !!! ahhh!!! the basic explanation is that all might’s all of one genes mixed and then “corrupt” inko’s like 3 generation quirk-having genes or smth and izu has a very, very complex quirk now. it’s called astron, and astron allows him to fucking astral project into the center of the university and shit chxnc

astron works two different ways: using his blue eye he can project other people into his own personal astral plane and do whatever he wants. while the person’s physical body is still where it was, their mind is in the astral plane. if he uses his green eye, he can project himself to his astral plane and fuck around without consequences!!

[there’s an untold third ability of astron using both of his eyes, but izuku tried doing that when he first got his quirk and immediately fell into a coma for like a month? it was bad and his mind couldn’t handle the stress and dipped lol]

ANYWAY, izuku grows up with a bomb ass quirk and still has his kacchan with him thru his childhood so things are a lot different than canon? the wonder duo are little shitheads together and i love them, they wreck havoc and i love them

i have more ideas for this story but this is all i have for now, codi this is so long i’m sorry i’m blowing up ur inbox 🥺😭

me opening my askbox and seeing the length of this au: holy shit

me reading the actual whole au: HOLY SHIT

AJ I LOVE THIS HIGHKEY!!! I LOVE THE IDEA OF OP DEKU W A FUCKED UP QUIRK JUST TERRIFYING EVERYONE HE COMES ACROSS!!!! heterochromia is SO so good as a character design element and i LOVE THE WAY THIS IS IMPLEMENTED YELLS. I WANNA DRAW THIS SO BAD!!! THIS LOOKS SO COOL

(serious writing/plot below - blood and vomit mention)

oh god and now im imagining deku like. being this extremely feral and annoying lil shit whos extremely powerful and now bakugous got someone on his level so hes a lot more humble as hes growing up but also him and deku are the?? BESTEST OF FRIENDS. and i imagine when bakugou is being a little shit deku just. astral projects him out of his body for a while and apologizes to whoever kacchan yelled at LMFAO---bakugou comes back to his body and is all like “....fucks sake stop doing that”

AND THEN omfgkjfds imagine morally grey deku who does whatever he can to win?? he knew he wouldnt get into UAs hero course fair and square (all might offered him a recommendation but he declined because he wanted to get there on his own with kacchan) because robots didnt have souls he could astral project so he practices his quirks limits like YEARS prior and he tells bakugou about it but never rlly shows him but on the day of the entrance exam?

he shows up. everything goes as normal and he finishes the written exams and then moves on to the practical exam (still seperated from kacchan like in canon) and like. Every one goes dashing forward and deku doesnt really try to beat anyone. He waits until theyre all in the center engaging with robots when he walks to the center of the room.

and he sees the zero pointer in the distance.

“THE ZERO-POINTER’S HERE!” He yells and points at the gigantic mech heading their way. All at once everyone’s heads whip up to catch sight of the robot, enraptured by its sheer size and power. 

As they all look to one direction, Deku makes eye contact with them and smiles.

All at once, every single participant in the area goes limp. Astron throws their souls into the astral plane with little fanfare and everyone watches in awe and annoyance as their bodies uselessly crumple to the ground from the outside. The green-haired boy is suddenly given free reigns of the arena and they seethe as one by one he deactivates or disables robots that were once under their purview.

(What some of the smarter ones notice however, is the way he seems to be leaving some stray 3 pointers untouched... almost as if he was doing the calculations in his head as he goes... on how to ensure the number one spot while others can still score points...?)

One by one however, they start struggling and reaching to reconnect with their bodies. Their gleaming bright souls bob up and down with frenzied energy and Deku feels it. He feels it like itches on his skin and goosebumps that turn into hills that dance up and down his back. He feels it like he feels his limit reaching.

Its still around 10 minutes though before he actually loses control and everyone comes back to their bodies. His quirk times out and almost like its angry, the astral plane takes his body in exchange for the dozens he kept in there. He gets sucked through and passes out while everyone else runs and destroys the remaining bots. It doesn’t matter though, because he knows he’s racked up enough points to stay on top. He lets himself rest and observes the blue-haired tall guy with engines who contemplates carrying Deku’s body to safety.

Until, he sees her.

Just under some rubble and very close to getting crushed by the Zero-Pointer’s foot, Deku spots a brown-haired young girl that he recalls has some kind of floating quirk. He sees as everyone runs past her, prioritizing their own safety instead of hers.

He makes a decision.

Quickly--recklessly, a familiar gruff voice says in his ear--he forces himself back into his body and looks around. He runs to the girl and attempts to dig her out from the rubble before she gets crushed. The robot comes ever closer.

Using the little strength and flexibility he’s learnt from years of sparring with Kacchan, Deku abandons her in favor of climbing up the broken concrete and metal to meet the robot’s visor. He knows he won’t save her by digging her out of there, but by god is he gonna let her get injured without a fight. These robots weren’t designed to kill, but they were designed to destroy.

Focus. Focus and listen to what’s around you, Izu-kun.

The world around him reduces to tunnel-vision and suddenly Deku is face to face with the Zero-Pointer. It stops, as if calculating how to discard of Deku without hurting him severely with its own strength.

Everything has life in it. You only need to focus and look for it.

Izuku Midoriya looks at the robot.

In a whirlwind of blue and green, he reaches inside of himself and searches for life. Cold steel and hard-wired code meet his gaze and he plunges even deeper. 

Focus.

Then all at once, everything in his visions snaps into sudden clarity, like he’s never seen before. He feels everything. Sees Everything. Smells, tastes, hears--and he hears how the metal beneath him bends and groans. He feels how it winces and shudders. He sees it as it opens its maw and its visor bends in a facsimile of eyes, pleading him as if asking how?

The robot beneath him comes to life and stumbles back.

Quickly, he scrambles to the nearest ledge which happens to be a broken support beam. Distantly, he thinks he feels his arm being sliced open on the edge of it and the warmth of blood streaming down his side as he nearly falls. 

“HEY! YOU WITH THE ENGINES!” He hoarsely screams to the still remaining, slack-jawed contestants. “I CAN’T KEEP THE ZERO POINTER DOWN FOR LONG! GO HELP THE GIRL AND TAKE HER TO SAFETY NOW!”

With a sudden burst of energy, the fellow participants start taking others out from the rubble while the blue-haired boy helps the brunette he was protecting earlier. As he watches them clear the rubble to drag her out, he feels a pang.

Who am I? a lost voice calls out. It’s raspy and almost-robotic sounding and only he can hear it. Where am I? What am I?

And Deku’s vision flickers.

In and out, he sees flashes through eyes that aren’t his. He hears voices that are simultaneously faraway and way too close for comfort. The world tugs at the sides of his perspective and a strain is pulling at the back of his head tearing his brain to shreds. He doesn’t know what he’s focusing or straining on, except that its working and keeping the zero-pointer down.

He grits his teeth. “Hurry the hell up! i can’t do this any longer--”

Bursts of pain appear behind his mismatched eyes and he wants to scream so bad and if he were looking any clearer he’d see the way that the zero-pointer thrashes on the ground in time with the pounding on his skull. Bile crawls up the back of his throat and Deku screams.

“SHE’S CLEAR! YOU CAN LET GO NOW, MIDORIYA-SAN.”

Izuku lets go and his vision goes black.

#ASKDZVJFXKS OK THIS TOOK. #A LOT LONGER THAN INTENDED #ok so gthis has plot now and now im thinking of. writing this actually #i love this au so much thank u aj i hOPE YOU DONT MIND THAT I WROTE FOR IT??? im sO SORRY?? #anyway have more of my writing its unedited and garbage\ #asks #yeets your boy #collisioncomrades #bnha #boku no hero academia #mha #my hero academia #deku #izuku midoriya #midoriya izuku #long post #cw long post #long post cw

[turtle-steverogers]

Idk if ur still thinking abt this but for ur Wakanda stevebucky thoughts: Steve like, taking off his nomad suit, and thinking abt how it's pretty different from his other cap suits, and how he looks a lot different than when he wore his first cap suit. And Steve says smth like "do u regret following/staying w me, cause I've gotten u into a lot of shit" to Bucky and ofc Bucky's like "hell no?? Like I said, I'm following that kid from Brooklyn. No matter what he looks like." And then they kiss idk

man i started out with this in mind and then it turned into steve finally letting himself take a goddamn break and stucky cuddles but yeah

ship: stucky

-

Steve’s reflection is blurred in the foggy mirror. It’s smudged out-- the only discernible things besides the concerning pallor to his skin the harsh purple bruising on his stomach and red gashes along his shoulders. He feels out of place in the stark cleanliness of Bucky’s quarters. But then again, he’s always felt a little bit like he only existed to drag dirt into Bucky’s life.

It was a haven, coming back to Wakanda. A privilege Steve was constantly grateful for and entirely aware of. So he doesn’t really know why he still feels like something in him has been torn apart. Mangled. Trodden down by exhaustion he hasn’t shed his whole life and ironically made worse by his seventy year sleep.

There’s a soft knock at the bathroom door and Steve jumps, eyes darting to the clock on the wall. It’s been nearly an hour since he got to Bucky’s place, trudging off the quinjet and shooing away Bucky’s worried pokes and prods. He knows he looks like shit, but that’s to be expected when being on the run still brings foes around every corner. Which is another thing he’s still working to digest: being on the run. It’s become routine by now, though. Finding shitty motels and eating take-out in too close quarters with Sam and Natasha and occasionally Wanda. He doesn’t regret his actions towards the Accords, but dammit, he was just starting to feel like he had carved out a place for himself in the current world. Found a routine that he could stomach. And he was used to change, sure. His whole life was a series of harrowing, extreme changes. But that didn’t mean he wasn’t getting sick of it.

“Stevie?” Steve jumps again. Shit, he was losing time a lot more these days. He thought he’d left that awful habit in those first years out of the ice. He quickly rewraps his towel around his waist and scrubs a hand down his face, turning to open the door.

“Hey, sorry,” Steve says. Bucky is standing on the other side, looking soft and concerned in a pair of loose sleep shorts. He’s shirtless and Steve’s gaze lingers for a moment on the scarred area around where his left arm used to be. His stomach clenches. He could kill Tony for that.

“That’s alright,” Bucky says. “You were in there a long time.”

It’s a needless observation, but Steve knows Bucky’s really just asking if he’s okay. He sags, eyes falling towards the floor. He’s dripping onto the tile, creating a puddle around him that’s still a little mottled by dirt, despite having spent upwards of an hour in the shower. But most of that time had been spent sitting in the tub with his arms wrapped around his knees, desperately trying to crawl out of the corner of his mind he’d chased himself into.

“Yeah, just-- thinking,” he hedges, moving past Bucky and over to where his go bag holds a change of clothes, only to find that Bucky’s apparently unpacked for him while he was being a lump in the shower. He softens, suddenly achingly grateful as he drops the towel and pulls on a pair of boxers before sinking down on the edge of the bed.

Bucky sits next to him. “Penny for your thoughts?” he asks and Steve wants to move into his orbit-- give into that magnetic pull that draws him into Bucky’s arms, again and again.

He doesn’t, though, because shit, could he even? Is he allowed to take that comfort, still? Take that gentle touch-- that promise of safety? He doesn’t understand why Bucky wants him here, why he ever wanted him--

“I don’t get you,” he says, and it comes out harsher than he intended.

Bucky’s good at reading his tones, though, and he hums. “What don’t you get?”

“Why-- why you’re still here.”

“Here… as in Wakanda? Or here as in with you?” He’s got Steve’s number now. Steve shrugs, staring down at his lap as he lifts his thumbnail to bite on it. It must be an answer in and of itself because a moment later, Bucky’s tugging at his elbow, coaxing him sideways into his warmth. Steve goes pliant, giving in. He curls close to Bucky’s chest and wonders if the scratch of his beard is annoying-- another thing that’s changed. Another thing he wonders if Bucky thinks anything of. It’s so inconsequential, but Steve’s brain seems insistent upon dwelling these days.

“Baby, talk to me,” Bucky nudges and Steve feels tears well in his eyes. It’s a surprise-- he hasn’t cried in months-- and it throws him off enough that he’s helpless to the shuddering sob that rips out of his chest.

“Why do you stay?” he cries. “I feel like all I do is get you into shit and-- and hurt you and--”

“You don’t, though,” Bucky cuts in, hitching him closer. “You’ve always given me choices-- which is something I will never take for granted again for the record-- and I choose to follow you. Ain’t nothing on you that we keep getting shit thrown at us.”

Steve sniffles and shrugs, unconvinced. It’s quiet for a long moment.

“I can tell that isn’t everything that’s eating at you,” Bucky says and his gentle tone is almost enough to have Steve sobbing again. “What’s going on?”

Steve hesitates and allows himself to examine the thoughts that have been swirling around in his head for some time now. He takes in a shaking breath and lets it out slowly.

“I’m so tired,” he says.

“Tired like you need a nap tired? Or tired like you’re done?” And Bucky doesn’t need to clarify what ‘done’ means for Steve to know.

Steve huffs and leans his weight heavier into Bucky’s side. Bucky lets them fall back with a small ‘oof’ and allows Steve to tuck close. Steve hides his face in his neck.

“Tired like I’m done, but god, Buck-- I-- I don’t wanna be done,” he says.

“You don’t have to be,” Bucky says, like it’s that simple. “Take a break, sweetheart. It sounds like you’ve needed it for a while. When you’re ready to get back out there, that can be your choice.”

And maybe it is that simple. The exhaustion is spreading now, siphoning through his limbs and taking over his whole body, making him sag with it.

Bucky must feel him go limp, because he mutters a soft, “That’s it,” which Steve doesn’t really understand, but that’s alright. It’s soothing.

“I can stay here? With you?” he asks after a long moment.

Bucky hitches him closer. “Nowhere I’d rather have you.”

Steve lets out a last, heaving breath and untucks his head, feeling lighter.

“Okay,” he agrees, and Bucky smiles, leaning down to kiss his nose, then his lips.

“Okay,” Bucky says back, and for the first time in a while, Steve feels like he’s home.

-

thanks for reading, y'all

#stucky fic #stucky #marvel #marvel shit #steve rogers #bucky barnes #man it feels good to be writing again #like consistently

[mina-scribbles]

7 Minutes in Heaven (kageyama x reader)

(slightly explicit i guess)

for context (but it's explained in the piece anw) - the boys threw a going away party for y/n cuz she's going to be away the whole week next week, and one of the games at that party was seven minutes in heaven ~ and she's stuck with tobio. ;))

a/n: enjoy my dudes!! ❤ and tell me what y'all think abt it. hihihi

~~~

A few more minutes, and I was out of here.

Honestly, it wasn't so bad. I mean, apart from me wishing I was dead the first few minutes I was in here and the horrible small talk that I so shamefully and regretfully initisted, things went smoothly after all that so it was all good.

Kageyama was still quiet beside me. The burning sensation where his bare arm touched mine wasn't as strong anymore, but I was still hyper aware of everywhere we touched - our forearms, the back of our hands, our knees.

It was a ridiculous of me to even feel all that, and I just wanted to be out of here.

Well, if I was being truthful, I sort of liked that I was stuck in the closet with Tobio. It was...a rare chance to be this close to someone you liked afterall, and thank God only I knew I liked Tobio. If anybody else did, I think I'd die.

Just anything but that. Because God also knows Tobio doesn't see me that way. I am and always will be just the Karasuno volleyball team manager who picks up after them, hands them their water bottles, schedules practices for them and whatnot.

I was nothing special, and I never will be to Tobio. He loved volleyball too much to put anything else first.

And that was honestly okay with me. I loved that he was so passionate about the sport. All of the boys were, but Tobio and Hinata, they had a fire in them that couldn't be quenched, not till they got to the very top, till they've surpassed every one of their limits and bested those they considered were better than them. It was a kind of hunger that only those two could understand.

That's why they almost always practiced. Whenever I found them, they always had a ball in their hands. Sometimes by themselves or together, but during the latter they usually always ended up arguing.

Speaking of which...

"Why did you join tonight's little party?" I ask him, my voice light with curiosity. "Don't you usually practice at this hour?" Last I checked, it was still seven in the evening. They usually practiced till nine or so, or when somebody finally told them to go home.

Tobio was facing away from me. Probably uncomfortable from how close we were. I understood though. He always was uncomfortable with physical contact. "Daichi-san asked me to go."

I nodded, ignoring the feeling that something just dropped in my stomach. So he didn't really want ant to go. "Well, I'm sorry you were forced to be here," I apologized. And it really was sincere.

His eyes snapped to my face then. It was dark, but there was enough light seeping through the cabinet slits that I could still see his wide-eyed expression.

"No, no," he answered a little too quickly. "I wanted to go actually, but I wasn't sure I was invited."

I rolled my eyes. "I think everyone was invited. But if it were up to me, I wouldn't have had this party. It's not like I'm going away for a long time."

His shoulder shrugs beside me. "Still a long time not seeing you in the gym," he said in a voice so low that I almost didn't catch it. And I couldn't help the little flip in my stomach.

"Seeing me?" I couldn't help but ask.

Tobio's face became panicked again. He threw up his palms in a pacifying manner as he fumbled for an explanation. "No, it's just I'm--we're all so used to seeing you everyday and you being gone for a whole week just seems weird and---"

"Are you saying you're gonna miss me, Tobio?" I tease, pushing myself forward and making him draw back, flustered.

He shook his head. Then nodded again, then shook it again. "I mean, everyone will--but it doesn't mean I won't---not like that but---"

I chuckle, waving a hand at him. "I get it, I was just teasing, Kageyama-kun." My stomach dropped again but that was expected. It was my fault for maybe hoping for a little something more with how he reacted and stuff. Typical of me, but very quickly I brushed that feeling off, not wanting to dwell in shame and disappointment any longer and decided to wait out the few minutes left of being in here.

I sighed quietly, facing forward and propped my arms on my knees again.

At least Tobio and I were friends. Better than nothing, right? And besides, this was just a crush. A crush that's been going on since the beginning of the year, but still a crush so it'll pass. Eventually, I'll find it in me to accept the reality of the situation and---

"(Name)-san, can I ask you something?"

I turned to Tobio. His head was bowed and his hair fell over his forehead, hiding his face from my view. "Yeah, sure," I said.

"Seven minutes in heaven is a dumb game, right, where two people get stuck together and it's up to them what they do in the small space they're stuck in, and whatever happens there, stays there, right?"

I simply nod then realized that maybe he couldn't see it so I added a vocal "Yes."

Tobio lifted his head and faced me, an unreadable expression in his eyes. But for some reason, my heart was pounding in my chest, so loud and hard that I felt it against my bicep.

"You'll be gone the whole week next week, right?" he asked.

"Yeah," I answered slowly, unsure where this was going.

"So you'll probably forget about this."

I frown. "Forget about what?"

And Tobio answered with a kiss. His lips were warm and incredibly soft against mine. I gasped against his lips, and froze. His lips didn't move; they just pressed firmly against mine. On my jaw was a shadow of a touch, like his fingers were hovering there, unsure what to do.

For several seconds, I remained how I was, my brain and body stil ltoo surprised to catch up with what happened.

But then very quickly, the warmth of Tobio's lips left mine and that sensation snapped me out of my daze.

I locked my hands around his neck to keep him where he was and adjusted myself so I was facing him in a way that I could properly return the kiss. Slowly, but encouragingly, I began to move my mouth against his, angling my head so our lips fit each other perfectly - warm, wet and sweet. He tasted like strawberries.

Now it was Tobio's turn to sit frozen, but that didn't last long. Very soon he returned the kiss, moving gently first then gradually with an almost desperate edge. I don't know how he managed, but he had me pressed against the cabinet wall, legs parted so his body fit in the middle.

He caught my face in his hands, his long fingers slowly snaking through my hair and bunching at the nape.

I gasped when Tobio broke the kiss to trail burning kisses along my jaw and down my neck. His other hand settled on my waist while the other angled my head so he had more access to my neck. The tip of his tongue trailed up the side of my neck, stopping at the point just below my earlobe and he brought his lips down on that spot. He sucked on the tender area and I couldn't help the moan that escaped me. My body arched into him, almost like it wanted Tobio to touch me more. The hand on my waist had inched up to the lower mound of my breast. His fingers, warm and strong through the thin foam of my bra, caressed the smooth area, gentle, and almost like he was asking for permission.

As if he had to.

I went to grab his hand to so he could squeeze my breast, but a voice suddenly boomed from outside the closet.

"Alright you two! Seven minutes are up!"

Tobio and I sprung apart so fast like we burned each other just as the closet door swung open, bathing us in too bright light.

I put my hand up to shield my blinking eyes. When they adjusted, I saw that it was Tanaka with a teasing look on his face, almost like he knew. And from our swollen lips and my probably messed up hair, I think he could tell.

"Well, well, well," he said cheerfully, propping his hands on his hips. "I guess you made good use of your time, didn't you?"

I didn't have to look at Tobio to know we were both the same shade of tomato-red.

#kageyama x reader #kageyama tobio #haikyuu imagines #haikyuu fanfiction #haikyuu!! #haikyuu x reader

[fuckingfinwions]

it's pretty fucking rich of curufin to call the servants perverts for doing what he/his family forced them to do! omg! also i love the detail that sometimes fingon is just like 'suffer bitch' and doesn't stop curufin from getting his own self in trouble. i wonder what celebrimbor thinks about all the tension between the three of them--he must be terrified, poor bby. also i love the detail that maedhros believes in thematic/ironic punishment. i imagine he does it a lot to curufin esp when hes str

*stressed abt ruling the noldor and whatnot. i wonder if he ever directly tells curufin that if he actually put any effort into it that he *might* be the best sex slave/concubine? just to have more 'competition' btwn him and fingon? (and maybe its just a ploy, hes much fonder of fingon just for actually just getting on with it and not being so annoying). also maglor and his elaborate shows. maglor sounds insufferable. is he rlly perfectionistic and dramatic with his directions/ideas/visions? ver

*very particular and demanding? i can also see some really dark domestic humor with like, maedhros being like 'tf are my sex slaves' and it turns out they're all tied up in rlly weird ways running through 'rehearsal' for the 50th time that night or sthg and maglor is like 'oh damn its morning? i hadnt noticed' and ends up having a very very weird party a few weeks later full of avant-garde noncon horror that his pretentious artsy friends who all applaud his 'vision'. also i had wondered, if maed

*maedhros ever feels like he needs to punish nolo or fingon but in a more 'ironic' way, does he do it by forcing them to punish or touch eac other? like if fingon winces or flinches at jsut the wrong moment or something 'oh if i'm so disgusting then i'm sure you'd prefer him to rim you' and nolo is ofc desperate to fix the situation with his son hurt as little as possible. cant imagine curufin wouldnt be very upset too if celebrimbor is brought into his own punishments. cant see that ending well

Celebrimbor is rather terrified by the whole situation, but luckily, all of the other Servants are interested in keeping him safe. Curufin of course wants to protect his son. Nolo doesn't want this to be happening to anyone, and Celebrimbor is the only one he's currently able to make things less terrible for. Fingon thinks that Curufin deserves everything he gets, but Celebrimbor is innocent; and also that Curufin is probably bad at caring for people in general and a bad father. Curufin's defiance, coming at the same time when Fingon learns just how much his own father sacrificed for him and his siblings, just cements that belief.

In practice, this works out to Fingon teaching Celebrimbor a lot about both how to navigate life as a servant and just general socialization. Celebrimbor is torn between trusting Fingon's advice, because Fingon is acting like an older sibling/uncle and Celebrimbor misses that type of connection; and doing his best to stay far far away from Fingon, because Fingon hates his dad and might use him as a proxy, and also look what just happened with Celebrimbor's uncles.

(Also, I think just before he comes of age, Celebrimbor is going to decide he wants his first kiss to be with someone who is NOT Maedhros or Maglor. He might find one of the normal servants' teenage kids, or he might kiss Nolo, as the least scary option. Maedhros is unlikely to notice, and wouldn't be too upset as long is it didn't go any farther - there'd be a punishment along the lines of wearing a stimulating plug and a cage for a day.)

I like the idea of Maedhros encouraging competition, but I think he'd go for it sightly differently. "You always thought you were so special. So smart, could've been a genius at anything you chose, the only reason you didn't make a marvelous invention was because all the easy breakthroughs had just been discovered. But now I see you're mostly an idiot. You perhaps have a little natural talent at forgework, but with different birth could have spent your whole life making nails and horse shoes and never thought of anything greater. You can imitate if someone has already shown you the steps, but you have no creativity of your own. Nor can you figure out how to apply your skills to a new area, instead guessing blindly and patternlessly. Poor Inke, can't even suck a cock without someone smarter telling him how to do so."

Maedhros purposely avoided directly mentioning Feanor. That tends to just make Curufin more defiant, reminded of his pride and that he ought to be a prince. Also, Maedhros is not sure Feanor would actually approve of his actions, and Feanor's potential anger on his return is a bit of a mood killer. Being immortal, Feanor never felt a need to discuss in detail what would happen if he died and Maedhros took the throne. Maedhros is confident he's following Feanor's example, but some instructions might have been nice.

Curufin is now going to try and be the best lover Maedhros has ever had, purely out of spite.

Yes, dark comedy where Maedhros wants Fingon to ride him, but he's too exhausted from practicing double pirouettes where he jumps and lands with his cock an inch away from a spiked post. Maglor says it symbolizes the short distance between despair and desire. Curufin then fucks him using a strap on that he's wearing backwards (symbolizing fear of intimacy) while Nolo does the splits and fingers himself (symbolizing the loss of community in modern society).

Maedhros just thinks that, as king, there ought to be someone with enough energy to get him off the way he likes. Maglor says he's an artist, you can't expect him to make a masterpiece without using all the instruments. Maedhros is privately thinking maybe he should have made Caranthir crown prince, then he'd only be down two at once as Caranthir pretended to be a sadist rather than a masochist, or maybe one of the Ambarussa.

I think Maedhros ends making Nolo officially allowed to refuse sexual orders from Maglor it's been going on for longer than five hours. Also, despite Maglor's protest of artistry, if it involves nudity or genitalia it counts as sex. Nolo isn't Maedhros's favorite, but he's pretty enough, and both Curufin and Fingon would totally take advantage of the out.

Maedhros makes Nolo and Fingon punish each other sometimes, by making them be the one to inflict pain. But he doesn't use sex with each other as a punishment. They''re just so hot, he wants to watch them touch each other multiple nights a week, and he's not the type to make up new rules as an excuse for punishments. And the point of a punishment is that it's something the person involved dislikes, true, but it's also supposed to be something that they can avoid, so that you actually change their behavior. Maedhros likes ordering Nolo to kiss Fingon, and kiss a line down his body, stopping to caress every inch of him as if he's the most beautiful thing in the world. No one believes that Maedhros would stop ordering it if Fingon didn't disobey, so it doesn't work well as a deterrent.

Re: Celebrimbor being brought into Curufin's punishments, I had an idea for "power play" which I didn't end up using. Maedhros is trying to get Curufin to behave, and Curufin is being stubborn, and also insulting Maedhros. So Maedhros beats Curufin with a crop, then ties him to Maedhros's bed.

Maedhros sets oil and a very large set of anal beads on the bed. Then he draws the bed curtains.

"I'm going to have my dinner here by the fire tonight. Celebrimbor is going to bring it to me, and wait on me throughout. When I've finished eating, I'll check on you. If you have all the beads inside you and your cock hard, I'll send Celebrimbor away for the evening while I play with you. If not, I pull back the curtains, and he gets to sit by and watch you. Do you understand?"

Curufin nodded. "Are you going to gag me?"

"Why would I do that? I don't mind if your son overhears you moaning."

#fucking finwions answers #timeline branch: maedhros gets the concubines #servant nolofinweans au #basically Fingon thinks about ethics in terms of justice while Nolo thinks in terms of inviolable rights #it's more complicated than that and fingon wouldn't rape the feanorians if he was suddenly on the throne #because though they'd deserve it; inflicting uneccessary pain is Evil #but it's a fact of Fingon's life as it is that someone is going to be raped and better Curufin than Fingon or someone random off the street