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#every day i love them more and more and more until i think there cant possibly be any more love left in me
munamania · 5 months
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i dont wanna be a dick and act like i have no responsibility in this but after a point dont u think if all you ever say to ur friend is Omg you never make it out why dont you ever come out with us you bail all the time youre such a flake etc. dont u think that person (me) is like. not gonna feel so inclined to. be there
#like. yeah i was bad last semester i get it. and probably i shouldve tried at least once or twice to push thru#but i was so exhausted. and every time they would bring up hanging out it was on my longest days#and when i casually brought this up they were just like Well we have long days too. Okay!#and i love and miss these friends and i know for the most part. or at least think. theyre just teasing#i hate being seen as the flake like any time i do have to be like Oh i cant make that or Shit im sorry i have to bail#i try to offer an alternative???? and they never compromise on that. how is that fair like im not just outright rejecting u all the time#not to mention most of the time last semester it was always gonna be somewhere super easy for them to get home and far from me#im not like constantly holding this against them btw but i feel like they're holding it against me and i dont have any more apologies in me#anyway. that said. if theyre somewhere really expensive and far from me tn and i get out of work early#i. probably will not make it. lol! if theyd be willing to come a little closer to my place to one of the dives or some shit thatd be great#and like im not doing much today until class and work so really like. i WILL try. but i think they could sometimes not go for the most#expensive and inconvenient option as well. and these r all things ill say if it becomes like a problem problem or smth#but rn im not gonna be a dickhead and shit on their plans#but also! ok whatever im not gonna keep going on i just feel shitty im not 100% better from being sick and im just frustrated#about having to fuckign grovel over and over and over. i meant it the first few times now im just like#u could try not to be an asshole to me for five seconds too. like. i am very clearly not someone trying to secretly stop being friends#w yall. things happen#abby talks#and maybe this is an esp sore spot bc like ive certainly had some of you bail on me or be flaky or whatever before. and i didnt throw#a fucking fit to your face about it. probably bc it actually did feel more mean spirited sometimes#OK im sorry im not trying to make my friends sound evil and its mostly just the one and like im working on forgiving her for it cause it#was years ago but also like christ!
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pepprs · 8 months
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ok. giving myself 4 minutes to make this post and then i finish my homework. i just am so deeply miserable. i really think i made a mistake. i should not be in grad school. i only took a year between this and undergrad and i am still so burned out and mentally ill. im working full time. im only taking one class and this program is supposed to be so good and aligned with what i want and all of that. but i just cant stand having homework. i just cant stand it. i think i am not cut out for academia even though i work in academia. i think i will never get better as long as im still living at home but i have to get better before i can no longer be living at home but i cant get better until im not living at home and every day i still live at home saps away at my will to live quite literally. i should not have started doing grad school without regaining my will to live. without restoring my love for reading and writing that i used to have voraciously when i was younger and less deeply miserable. without recovering from the burnout. i think i made a mistake. i need a masters degree so bad so that i can be safe but i need to not have fucking homework when i already struggle to get through my days without school. i feel so stuck in my life and hopeless and helpless. i dont know what to do
#purrs#i cant drop out or anything because. lol and this class isnt even that big of a deal like i TRULY am freaking out over nothing. but my life#situation is so bad rn bro like i cant get my parents to take me out to drive and i cant get myself to get my parents to take me out to#drive and every day i am guilt tripped berated etc etc and i feel like i am never ever ever going to be able to have my own life where i a#stable and safe and happy. it can happen for other people except for me and my siblings. i dont know. im not explaining anything well.#i just cant do this. i need to not have this one more thing on my plate but i have to because if i dont have a masters degree in my field i#am nothing even though everyone is telling me that isnt true and all of them are credible but im just so mentally ill i cant believe anyone#and icant accept any advice or hope or whatever good about me i just. am stuck. this is as good as it gets and its not even good.#delete later#that was 7 minutes not 4 and i didnt even write anything substantial. nutshell. i just have been so fucking depressed lately oh my goddddd#this is maybe too strong of a thing to say but like. i know it isnt technically neglect if i am an adult but... i think i may kind of be#neglected by my family in some ways a little bit and always have been but like. emotionally. like in the ways in which im never a priority#and the things i need are seen as burdens etc etc. and theres nothing anyone can do about it even myself because im an adult but like lol.#24 year old dependent moment <3#well there is one thing i can do about it as an adult actually. its called move out. but that requires strength i will#never possess unfortunately due to the inherent flaws in my character and constitution so. guess this is it lawl 🥰#side note (and i swear im done after this lol): i think i was doing a lot better mentally over the summer. funny how when the semester#starts i get depressed and the depression just gets worse and worse until the end of the semester 😻 funny how this is my seventh year like#this. willingly subjecting myself to this. that should be a clue no? but i love my job and if i could just have my job and be stable in it#would be happier but also im lying to mysaelf and i will always be unhappy but its because of my mental illness not my job being bad or#anything its like. i am just sick in the head with impostor syndrome and thats how i got myself into this whole mess. lol#well that and the not moving out thing which is partially my fault but also because i live in hell as described earlier! <3
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likedbyuarmyhope · 1 year
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i love festa i’ve been waiting all year its my favorite thing ever and im so excited to see what they’ve been preparing for us... im in this bangtan sonyeondan shit for life
#my 6 years with bts passed exactly a month ago and i hope i'll have so many more years with them#as soon as like 2 years passed and i was still loving them more every day i realized this was something special#all of my previous fandoms had lasted for maybe a few months#to this day i havent been continuously active in any other fandom for more than like a year or so#there might be things i still like yknow like for example i got into my sports animes a little before bts and i still love them#but ive moved on from the fandoms and i dont rly keep up with news very actively or anything and i dont think about them all the time#but with bts its like every day i find new things to love about them and new ways to interpret their music#new details in their songs i'd never caught before new tidbits from old interviews i'd never seen before#every day i love them more and more and more until i think there cant possibly be any more love left in me#and then tomorrow comes and i love them even MORE!!!!#i will never act embarrassed or joke about being cringe bc i like bts i just will never do that. they have saved my life#and not only have they saved it they've directly improved it. they've made me the person i am#without them i might be in a completely different place or even a similar place but feeling so much more miserable and worried about things#i know that i am content with where i am solely because of bts' impact on my mindset and my perspective on life and living and growing up#this has turned into a love letter but yknow what its good practice for the letter im gonna write them in my journal on 6.13 <3#aeron.txt
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jtbb · 2 years
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ghostlygunk · 2 years
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almos three in the morning time to. worry
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southislandwren · 2 years
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ive gone back into full dorm mode. i need ice for my water bottle but i cant leave my room because i might encounter someone which is the worst possible scenario in the world
#anxiety spiking whenever i hear a door or voices. feeling trapped in my room. insane fear someone will know im here. etc#and im starting to plan for tomorrow. ill wake up and take a covid test.#if its negative ill go to hotel breakfast then go out and get some vegetables#if its positive i'll hunker down and see about getting my boss or uncle to bring me some vegetables and some vitamin c or something#i already have tylenol but depending on what symptoms i get i might need dayquil etc#im on the ground floor and my window opens so ill just get them to come to my window and pass it through and ill give them cash#oh yeah because i have $0.00 in my bank account! two of my aunts and my mom gave me cash so im dealing in strictly cash right now#which makes me feel conflicted bc i can feel the judgement from store clerks. but i love not being tracked#diary post#i just cant decide if its more humiliating for my boss or uncle to bring me food#maybe i'll just starve until thursday lol#ill probably ask my boss if she comes to town to swing by the grocery store and grab me some lettuce or something#she goes to town almost every day and worst case i can text her husband who passes thru 2x a day#i havent gotten any symptoms yet but mom tested positive on day 4 i think#and i have a powerful immune system (fingers crossed) so i might test positive but not have symptoms#oh and im learning c++ which is super fun actually. i used to be pretty good at html but i lost most of it over the years#ive just been watching tv and playing games and coding all day#so really not a bad day at all i just want to be with my boss :(#edited to add the paranoia is setting back in. hopefully the hallucinations and rage dont come back too#its crazy how i absorb trauma thats barely even trauma. i was like this with all my high school issues too#im just easily traumatized i guess
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woosansang · 2 years
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#jazzy talks#delete later#hahahhahha who would have thought that avoiding going to a therapist for years would suddenly make it#extrmeley difficult for you to go back to a therapst hey#how does one even do therapy i dont remember#like hi hello nice to meet you i dont even know whats wrong with me half the time but sometimes i go mute and i think i have autism and#and ive been having a gender crisis for about three years also i want to date girls but dont want to talk to people#and i dont know if i actually had a crush on someone who lives on the other side of the world of if im just that lonely that ill make up#feelings but also every day that goes by when i dont speak to them i feel strange like not sad but i just want to talk to them#or anyone but also i dont want to talk to anyone lol how does tjat work#and i sort of hate my job but i sort of love it sometimes and im way too scared of change to move schools but i dont think#i can survive another year and a half at this school#also someone i havent seen in a few years told me yesterday that i look like ive lost weight which i have#but i drink like an australian and ive started snacking constantly again and i know that's going to reserve everything i worked so hard for#and i am self aware enough to know this yet i cant seem to stop lol#im moving out with my sister and her bf in a few months and idk if thats just going to make me realise even more how lonely i am#with my three and a half irl friends who never make the time to see me#who all tapped out of my birthday party bc they were tired or busy or whatever#when my sister and her bf want to do things without me i feel sad except thafs their relationship not mine#so instead i live on tumblr and photoshop and do badically nothing else for days in a row until the two of them want to do smth with me#im not improving in one of my dance classes and want to drop out of that class#and the dance class i teach is horible sometimes and also makes me want to stop taking them#i work at least an extra working day every single week if not more which is basivally seven days a week#and i want to use my money to travel and do things but the idea of taking that much time off work makes me feel#almost as anxious as actually going to work every day#i want to call my friends but i cant#i want to text my mutuals but i cant#i want to go to sleep but i cant stop thinking about whats going to happen tomorrow#where does the part come where you actually start living instead of just getting through the day bc its been like this for too many years#and i am just tired of it. i am so tired of it yet im going to do exactly nothing to fix it. sigh.
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arolesbianism · 2 months
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Thinking abt the random card au again. Why must it go so crazy hard I miss it sm
#rat rambles#random card au#no matter how far I drift from my bndori and sekai peak days the random card au keeps hitting me like a truck every now and then#it just scratches an itch that I havent been able to satisfy since my cr days years and years ago#I wouldnt say the random card au has super similar worldbuilding to my old cr stuff as that was much more large scale#but it still has a similar appeal to me I think#I think its the building entirely new worldbuilding based off of designs and general vague starting concepts and bringing them all together#that gets me invested as it feels so satisfying slotting it all together and then actually getting to play out the story in this new web#I loveeeee jumbled webs of worldbuilding and characters that all tie together in a way that makes it almost impossible to completely#seperate one cast of characters from another#I love the feeling of a world with a bunch of intertwining plots like that even if it makes it near impossible to format a normal story#like my cr stuff was just so much man I still miss it sometimes even if I hate cr itself#Ive become a much better story creator too now so I know I could make what I had so much better nowadays and I already like my old stuff#it just makes me all the more sad that I went so crazy hard on worldbuilding for a franchise that sucks ass </3#it may have been two of the worst years of my life but Ill also never reach that worldbuilding high again I think#oh also it made me actually start the slow slow process of getting more ambitious with my art and doing more digital stuff#rly thats the biggest reason the random card au pains me so since I wanna post stuff for it but man do I not wanna draw anyone from it#first of all human characters so already eh but also Id have to adapt the cards theyre based on into a design I can actually draw#so as much as I wanna make a billion random card au animatics I cant even bring myself to draw them normally#you see olivia and jackie are easier to draw because I just made shit up for their designs and as such made their designs very simple#but I cant just make shit up for bndori and sekai characters they actually have designs and hair that Id have to adapt to my style it sucks#I just wanna draw doggy arisa is that so much to ask for (yes yes it is I dont wanna figure out her hood)#also rip mygo yall will probably never get in but who knows maybe one day Ill have my second bndori era and then y'all will get in#its rly just the fact that they likely wont have enough cards to properly add them for another few years#especially if that other band also gets in if that happens neither are getting enough cards until the servers shut down lol#like I Could just pick and choose but thats boring#kinda ruins the point of the au y'know?#like tbf Ive cheated in the past by reroling two and limiting my options with several sekai characters#but thats just because at the time most sekai characters had almost no usable cards for this au and the two I rerolled were also unusable#like Im sorry but I couldnt just add normal ass hagumi and masking it wasn't happening
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gaykneecaps · 6 months
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tw vent
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unknownmads · 6 months
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CANT STOP THINKING ABOUT INMATE TOJI AND CUTE LITTLE Y/N WHOS SO NAIVE TO BIG BAD TOJI
CW: Slight smut (mentions of his pp🤭)
☆☆☆
thinking about Prison toji who you met when your college has you do a little project in your criminal psychology class. The project was make a penpal get to know them ask why they are in prision, what their lives before was like, do they regret what they did etc. basic questions of course all you had to do was get the most information out of the penpal about their personal lives as you could.
Prison Toji who only signed up for the program because it was part of his latest court order saying he ‘needed more understanding’ so a penpal would give him a friend while they stay safe😭 he ofc hated the idea and thought it was the dumbest shit ever. until he got his first letter, from you (duh).
Prison toji who got mail for the first time and it was a little white envelope with a cute little sticker sealing it. He deadpanned *is my penpal an idiot these letters are for a prison not a daycare* he silently judges examining every detail as he opened the letter. i read the letter taking in every little personal detail you shared with him, your cute little name, how you loved your cat, how you’re new to the city only just moving for school, of course the boring questions for him as well. But at the very end of the letter he noticed an extra little note.
Ps. i left a few photos of myself along with some of my cat! i think it’s only fair since i got to see your photo on the website
Prison toji who grabs the envelope he previously had thrown to the side and pulls out 3 polaroids. One of you and probably your cat you’re dragging it into the photo with a big grin on your face. the second is a photo of your face a soft smile on your lips meant for whoever took the photo but Toji couldn’t help but wonder if that little smile was for him. Until he pulls out the third photo it’s a full view of you, you’re out in the city dressed all out, and Toji couldn’t help but know you chose that photo just for him.
Prison Toji who can’t wait to finally get some alone time so he can truly appreciate your pretty photos. And immediately goes to write you back answering all your cute little questions. Telling you where he lived before, how he ended up there, telling you what he did for work before (Surprise he sold drugs😍), telling you what he does to occupy his time here (he works out he just wanted an excuse to tell you how strong he is), and he asks you some questions.
Prison Toji who has been relentlessly flirting with since you started writing to him, asking if you had a boyfriend, how your school was going, why you moved to the city, how a cute lil thing like you is still single. You had been writing each other for a few weeks now which is a lot less than you think when you know how long mail takes. But your letters to each other are long. answering every little thing each other asks, learning about one another more and more. You had really connected so you finally ask him the big question he read the words as clear as day.
~Do you think i could come pay you a visit? ~
Prison Toji who had to immediately write back answering the most important question first.
~ And doll, you can come visit me anytime id love to finally meet you and see your pretty face in person~
he wanted to be nonchalant.
Prison Toji who was sitting in bed looking at your photos when he was called
“Zenin, you’ve got a visitor. away from the door.”
Prison Toji silently followed standing on the other side of the cell while the guard came in to handcuff him and bring him to the visiting area. Once he was in the room his cuffs connecting him to the table he waited. until he heard the door open again. He felt his cock twitch in his pants as he saw the guard guide you in. You were wide eyed taking in the new environment until they landed on him.
Prison Toji was large, you knew he was tall and muscular thanks to his letters and photo but nothing could have prepared you for the real deal. Eyes widening even more when you fully take him in. seated At the grey metal table his hands on the table as the guard had told him to. his hair poking at his eyes which were staring drinking you in. his lip in a smirk helping you notice the scar on it which you couldn’t really see from the grainy prison photos. His shirt stretched against his muscles showing off a few tattoos hidden along his skin. the view making you squeeze your thighs together to release some of the pressure building.
Prison Toji who took in as much of you as he could as he watched you shuffle into your seat across from him, enjoying how you squirmed slightly within his gaze, his smirk growing into an almost full smile.
“hey doll it’s good to finally meet you.”
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anothertimdrakestan · 11 months
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Batboys Toxic Traits Headcanons
because no one is perfect, i wanted to get a little dirty with it and imagine what the boys are like when they're a little... too obsessed with you.
tw for romanticizing possessive, obsessive, jealous, aggressive actions haha xoxo
Jason Todd
- scary dog privileges wherever you go with jace, but he is ALL bite with one and only one warning bark.
- when a hand that isn't his brushes your thigh in a club, fingers get broken. when a cat caller thinks his compliment just has to be said to you, he most likely won't be able to speak again for weeks. And god forbid any villain try to use you as bait for jason, they've all learned if they value their life to never touch you. He's all for justice not vengeance until anyone tries to mess with you, then those words always get mixed up in his head.
- sometimes you cant even complain about people, they end up getting randomly harassed by a certain someone until they just move town
- jason is adamant as long as he's alive there won't be a problem of yours he can't solve with a little violence
- your biggest problem is that he struggles to let you have guy friends, obviously the ones he knows especially fellow heroes are more than fine, but he's been known to burst blood vessels when he sees you close and person with men he's never met
- he's proud of it too: "let another man try and touch y/n, it's been a slow night for me." or "i just don't get why you need him as a friend when you have me, myself, and i"
Tim Drake
- tim gets... obsessive.
- he tends to fall hard but with you he brought the house down with him
- before you were officially his he had hacked every security camera in the city to have eyes on you at any given moment
- both for your safety and his own maniacal flirting strategy: you admire shoes but frown at the price tag? tim's buying you the matching bag to go with the shoes he bought the second you looked at them.
- before you knew how insanely in love with you he was, you truly thought he was a mind reader
- well he kind of was, seeing as he scrolled through your search history every night to know which talking points to bring up with you
- once you finally fell for him and set some stronger boundaries he still occasionally found himself double checking your location when you weren't by his side, or lazily purchasing every item on your pinterest boards, he just can't help but dote on you
Damian Wayne
- damian doesn't really get close to people, but as always you were his exception
- however, this means his list of people to hang out with is extremely short, and he saw no problem in wanting to be around you wherever you went whenever he could
- like a kind of tall, dark, and brooding puppy, he quietly followed you everywhere, and when you strictly told him he couldn't follow along, you always noticed a perched shadow just a few building away
- eventually you got used to rolling over to damian coolly watching you sleep or patiently waiting to pick you up from your classes/job, happy just to walk you to your car
- just like jason, damian had a brutal and heartless style of problem-solving when it came to anyone giving you trouble
- too often you found yourself standing in between his rage a massive mistake whether it was nearly assaulting a friend of yours who tried to ask you out or threatening to buy out your entire workplace when you didn't get the promotion you wanted
- forever cooling his rage was worth having his adoration though, and you were happy to have your overbearing shadow follow you throughout your days
Dick Grayson
- for such a bubbly leader, dick often struggled with communication
- always used to bearing his problems alone youd spent too many nights tracking down your own boyfriend only to beg him to tell you what's wrong
- he never understood that you didn't always want to solve his problems, but hold his sadness or hurt with him
- it was the worst when he was upset with you, whether it was jealously or insecurity that crept into his mind
- he'd take off in a rush hoping you wouldn't notice but you always did, either hunting him down or simply waiting with open arms for him to come home
- it would take years to teach your traveling-circus-raised boyfriend that you weren't going anywhere, ever.
- but, this made for many heartfelt nights where he held you and promised you the world, as if you'd opened him up in a way no one else could, pulling forward the most magical and loving side of your sweet boy
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redr0sewrites · 4 months
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Adam x Reader General Hcs
HAD TO WRITE SOMETHING FOR HIM HES JUST SO. AUGAHGEHEG. i love him. characterizing him is so fun, but so challenging at the same time.
🥀 Cw: adam being adam, sfw + nsfw hcs, smut, breeding kink
🥀minors dni with the nsfw portion
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sfw:
Adam is more prone to casual flings and hookups, hes def not huge on relationships and longterm partners
this means that if your with him, you must be pretty special bc hes a huge ass handful
while he is a pretty big douche, adam is definitely loyal imo
deep down, hes still pretty insecure about both lilith and eve, and im a firm believer that he would never cheat on a partner if he was in a serious relationship
adam comes up with very.... interesting nicknames for you that are 10x more vulgar than the ones he uses for everyone else
hes HUGE on nicknames and petnames in general, at the start of a relationship theyre pretty crude and flirty but over time they start to become sweeter
sugartits, doll, sweet cheeks, bitch boy/babe, babycakes, BAE, lemondrop (idk it just fits), mama/mami, honeytits, honestly anything that comes to mind
adam likes to put "my" in front of most of your petnames, its not so much in a possessive way, moreso in a bragging way, he just loves telling the world that your HIS
he also definitely calls you bro, brah, dude, etc he doesn't care that it "doesnt sound romantic" 💀
adam finds the MOST unhinged things hilarious, hes the type to watch those ten hour long youtube videos of a spinning potato chip and laugh every ten seconds
speaking of, he has one of those loud, booming laughs with a slight wheeze to it
"BAAHAHAHAHAH BAE COME HERE LOOK AT THIS HAHA" and its just a low quality video of a water bottle falling over???
100% a shitty pickup line user
and also a shitty flirter in general
his flirting is just
obnoxious
adam is very proud of you, when the two of you officially got together he probably called half of heaven to announce that you two were dating
"THATS MY PARTNER‼️‼️‼️" type of vibes
adam acts like he isnt big on cuddles bit is secretly the clingiest, most touch starved person alive
PLEASE let him hold you, this man is tall af and loves just swallowing you in an embrace
when he was "courting" you (irritating you constantly and flirting with you obnoxiously until you caught on that he was serious) the biggest tell that his feelings were genuine was the amount of physical contact he initiated
adam was always leaning on you, throwing an arm over your shoulder, resting a hand on your thigh, hooking his arm through yours, overall invading your personal space
he was incredibly happy to FINALLY be able to cuddle with you when you both got together, and HAS to fall asleep touching you in some way every night
adam is almost always wearing his exterminator helmet, but he really likes it when you take it off for him at the end of the day. even he doesn't really understand why, but there's something so intimate to him about the fact that you love his real face more than the persona he puts on
he would rather die than admit it tho
hes not good at words or communication in general, and prefers to express his appreciation through actions
he brings you foods that he knows you like on days where you're especially busy, he gives you song recommendations that he'll think you'll like, he'll buy you a trinket he saw you eyeing at the store, just tiny things like that
adam genuinely does care about you, but as per his usual adam-ness, he would rather go bald than live up to that 💀
nsfw:
you cant tell me this man isnt kinky as shit
hes tried pretty much everything
HE LOVES TO HIT FROM THE BACK, DEF LIKES DOGGY STYLE
i also think he would like the mating press too, getting to watch your face as he wrecks you while also having the opportunity to leave bites all over your thighs, and feel them tremble as he fucks you? sign him up!
his dick is big big
i think hed be a little thicker than average, with a few veins running up the underside, but its his length that's downright heavenly
adam keeps himself pretty well groomed, but has a prominent happy trail and light fuzz at the very base of his cock
listen, this is the first man we're talking about, he KNOWS what hes doing
whether you're male or female, he will go down on you
once he buries himself between your thighs youre done for, adam barely comes up for air as he devours you
hes def sloppy w it too, loves when you cum on his face so he can lick it up
enjoys it when you return the favor as well, i actually think hed really realy like receiving head
would def fuck your face until your drooling
if you hve an oral fixation, you're in luck bc he LOVES watching you suck his dick, his fingers, anything really
adam always makes you lick and suck his fingers before fingering you, and will sometimes trigger your gag reflex by shoving them down your throat to watch you gasp and whine
adam has STAMINA, expect to stay up all night bc this man will stop at nothing to make sure you're both satisfied
i swear this man is built to breed, he has a HUGE breeding kink and goes crazy at the sight of his cum dripping from your hole. even if it's physically impossible for you to get pregnant, adam still babbles about "fucking a prety little babe" into you when he cums
adam likes using plugs to make sure his cum stays inside you, he'll also finger it back inside and loves smearing his cum on your thighs and ass
he also brings his fingers up to your face and has you lick the cum off of them
LOOOVEEEESSS marking you, by the end of the night youre always covered in bruises and scratches and hickeys galore
i love adam guys yes ik hes a douche but hes my douche <3
i wish i characterized him better but whateverrrrrr i dont want to write him as a total asshole but hes def not an angel either (haha im so funny💀)
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pupkashi · 8 months
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scars
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gojo learns to love the scars on his body
a/n: hi friends ! here is sweet and soft lil something about our favorite white haired sorcerer <33 thank u for the request and i hope u guys enjoy :3
wordcount: 1,547
masterlist
he stares at it every morning. when he pushes his hair back to fix it and put on his blindfold, when he wears a shirt that isn’t his Jujutsu uniform. his eyes seem drawn to the faint scars on his forehead, neck and chest.
they seem jagged and out of place compared to the rest of his smooth and perfect skin, serving as a reminder of his failures and losses.
“g’morning pretty boy,” you mumble, walking past him and sitting on the toilet, too asleep to notice the way satoru jumped, quickly letting his hair fall to cover the scar.
the pet name seems unfitting as his eyes move back to the mirror, his reflection staring back at him. “morning sweets” he finally answers, washing his face and grabbing his toothbrush.
“what’s wrong?” you ask, still as intuitive as ever when it came to your lover.
“‘m fine, just a bit stressed,” a tight lipped smile as he hands you the toothpaste. you don’t believe him, but you decide to hold off until at least after you’ve woken up a bit more.
you don’t say anything as the two of you continue to get ready, letting your gaze linger on satoru. there was nothing you could think of that could’ve made him upset so early
it’s a bit quiet as you both make your way into the living room, flowing easily as you two make breakfast, making each others coffee, with satoru carrying the plates to the table and you the coffees. (the last time he carried the coffees burned his hand and spilled both cups everywhere.)
and as he’s about to head out the door you’re pulling him by his collar, fixing it a bit and pressing a gentle kiss to his lips. satoru melts into your touch, hands slipping around your waist and all worries being thrown out the window.
“have a good day angel boy,” you mumble, pressing on last kiss to his lips before pulling away.
“cant be that good if I’m not with you,” he pouts, not bothering to make a motion to leave, not until you’re forcing him out the door as he whines ‘just one more kiss!’
it’s anytime there’s a reflective surface, he’s stealing a glance, making sure his neck is covered. he’s so careful about it, wanting to keep his scars hidden, too ashamed to show them to the world.
“sensei is that a scar on your neck? that’s so cool how’d you get it?!” yuji’s voice is enthusiastic and his eyes are glimmering as he stares up at his teacher.
satoru physically tenses at the acknowledgment of the scar on his neck, quickl flashes of that day coming into his mind. geto, riko, where it all went wrong.
“just a nasty fight is all” he shrugs his shoulders, hoping the younger boy would drop the topic.
“but if you have infinity how’s that happen?” his brows furrowed as satoru tries to calm himself down.
“yuji come look! megumi found something!” nobara calls out, the pink haired boy rushing to her side as making their way to their other friend.
satoru’s hand unconsciously brushes over the raised skin, recalling how he’d tried so hard to get the skin back to normal, begging shoko to help him.
that afternoon he’s wearing a bigger sweater, letting his messy bangs fall over his forehead and trying his best to cover up his neck when he catches you staring at him.
“what?” he asks, a nervous smile on his lips. did you realize how ugly they were? were you finally done calling him pretty?
“nothin’ you just look so pretty” you sigh, smiling as you press a kiss to his cheek, hand reaching to push his bangs out of his eyes. satoru stops you immediately, his much larger hand wrapping around your wrist, eyes wide as he realized what he’d done.
“I’m sorry” he mumbles, hand shaking slightly as he lets go of you, rushing into the restroom and taking deep breaths. you were gonna hate him after that, you would realize how fucked up he was and you were gonna leave him and-
three soft knocks on the door pulls him from his thoughts, “angel boy? you okay?” you sounded worried, and he couldn’t help the tears filling his eyes.
“I’m sorry if i overstepped, i didn’t mean to” your voice smaller, satoru opened the door immediately, almost instantly pulling you into his arms.
“no you didn’t” a shaky breath leaving his lips as he debates on where to go from here. “it’s just, i don’t really like my scars,” he frowns, eyes averting your gaze.
you gently take his hand in yours, leading him back to the couch, watching as he tentatively fiddles with the hem of his sweater, pulling it off of him.
there’s a scar running from his neck down his chest, the skin raised ever so slightly. he shrinks as your eyes land on the skin, clenching his jaw when he lifts his bands and reveals the smaller scar on his forehead to you.
“they ruin everything,” he whispers, watching as your fingers ghost over the skin.
“may i?” you’re looking up at him, and he doesn’t know what the emotions swirling behind your eyes are, but he nods anyway. shivering when your fingers make contact with the skin, trailing down the entire length of it.
he jumps a bit when you place a feathery kiss to the top of the scar, he watches as you continue to kiss down his chest, following until the end of the scar. your hands feel cold compared to his now flushed skin, watching as you look up at him.
you don’t say anything as you cup his face in your hands, pressing a gentle kiss on the tip of his nose. “they don’t ruin anything, pretty boy,” your words laced with love.
“but-” he begins, the shake of your head cuts him off, the slight furrow of you brows is enough to have him stay quiet.
“no, i don’t wanna hear it,” you frown, “they don’t make you any less attractive, they don’t make you any less of my pretty boy,” the words comfort him in a way he never thought words could. the warmth blooming in his chest has his eyes watering slightly. “in a way they show how much you’ve grown, what you’ve learned and lost” you begin, your fingers intwined with his, grip tightening a bit.
“you don’t think they look, i don’t know, ugly or out of place?” he pouts, still not daring to look into your eyes.
“don’t be silly angel boy,” you grin, pushing his bangs out of his face, pressing a kiss on his forehead, atop his small scar, “nothing about you could ever be ugly, you’re the prettiest.”
his cheeks are dusted pink as a small giggle slips past his lips, finally meeting your gaze when you gently lift his chin with your index finger.
“but as much as i love you, you smell like sweat,” you scrunch your nose up, “so go shower,” laughing when his jaw drops, letting go of your hand and sniffing himself, scrunching his nose in agreement.
satoru doesn’t hesitate to wrap himself around you, smothering you in a hug, laughing loudly as you struggle to free yourself.
after his shower satoru’s eyes linger on his scars, the dewy mirror distorting his reflection slightly. for the first time since he can remember, satoru doesn’t think about that time when his eyes land on his scars, rather he thinks of the love of his life, the one who comforted him through it all, the one waiting for him now.
a small smile on his lips when you welcome him into bed, clinging to him as soon as he slips under the covers. you pull him close to you, peppering kisses along his jaw, then his cheeks and finally landing on his lips.
“you’re my pretty, angel boy,” you whisper, eyes staring into his cerulean ones, “i don’t want you to ever think otherwise,” pressing one last kiss to his lips before cuddling into his chest.
instead of flinching away, he lets you. he lets himself relax as your hand rests over the scar, only the thin fabric of his t shirt separating your fingers from grazing the skin. he relaxes into your touch, smiling when you press kisses to any open you see, whispering compliments into his ear, comments reserved for only him.
slowly satoru finds himself not even glancing at his scars in the mirror, he no longer tugs at his shirt collars, and he doesn’t dread staring at the mirror. he doesn’t sleep with a shirt anymore, and he walks around shirtless, a boost of confidence shooting through him when he catches you staring.
they no longer feel out of place or ugly. not as you kiss them, each press of your lips more filled with love and tenderness than the last. not as your fingers ghost over them, giggling when he flexed his abs under your touch. not when you accidentally let slip that you think he looks hotter with scars.
not when you’re there to kiss away any insecurities he has, to push away any doubts in his mind with a shower of compliments.
taglist (send an ask to be added!): @chilichopsticks @anime-for-the-sleepless @4sat0ruu @safaia-47 @nanamikentoseyebags @fushironi @nineooooo @the-mom-friend-dot-com @gojoshooter @sat6ru @beautiful-is-boring @luna0713hunter @torusmochi
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oliwrites · 8 months
Text
Eavesdrop
relationship: loki x fem!reader
genre: smut
summary: loki cant help but overhear your conversation with natasha
warnings: smut (18+) unprotected piv, fingering, thigh riding, squirting, soft dom loki??, multiple orgasms, loki being nosy
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“I dunno, Nat… I love him to death, I really do… it’s just…” You say as you run your fingers through your hair. You didn’t like the idea of talking ‘bad’ about Loki behind his back, but this is the only way to get the emotions and thoughts off your chest.
“What is it? Stop beating around the bush! C’mon, I’m good at keeping secrets” Natasha replied, sipping on her beer.
“It’s kind of TMI but—”
“Oh please, TMI is nothing in this friendship and you know it, just spit it out!”
“Well… when Loki and I get… y’know… everything starts out great, but he just gets all soft and vanilla-y and I just wanna—” You start to explain, but stop when what you really want to say gets caught in the back of your throat.
What you and Natasha didn’t know is that Loki had walked out of the bedroom. His ears perked when he heard you say his name, so he walked towards Natasha’s room and listened in.
“Go on…” Natasha said
“Well… when we get frisky… he gets all soft and shit… like all mushy and gushy. Don’t get me wrong, I love it when he’s sweet to me… but I really just wanna be fucked. Not ‘made love to’ but ‘fucked so hard I can’t walk’ y’know?” I explain, a feeling of guilt washing over me as I finally say it.
“Have you tried bringing it up to him?”
“No… I want to, but I just don’t know how or when”
Loki frowned. Was he really boring you that much? You seemed pretty into it when the two of you were in action.
“I mean, when Bruce and I first started out, he was all mushy and stuff, all up until I sat him down in his bedroom and just told him how I felt. Ever since he’s pretty much been Hulk smashing me,” Natasha explained. I roll my eyes at her ‘Hulk smash’ comment
“What if I hurt his feelings?”
“He literally terrorized the city of New York and Stüggart, killed 80 people in 2 days, almost killed the entirety of the Frost Giant race, and faked his death 2 times. I don’t think he’ll be offended. Honestly, he might be more offended if you don’t tell him,” Natasha explained.
“But—”
“No buts, you’re literally the love of his life, and he would probably do anything to make you happy. Just trust me, babe, Loki isn’t going to be offended or mad, just communicate,” Natasha cut you off
Loki agreed silently. Natasha was right. He wasn’t offended or upset. He would climb the highest mountains and cut through every forest just go make you happy, if you asked. He decided to gather a plan, and he walked back into his room.
“You’re right. Thank you, Nat,” I smile and start to stand up, grabbing my beer bottle, and taking another drink of it, “I’m gonna go talk to him about it,” you smile, trying to ignore the anxiety bubbling within your stomach.
“I would say tell me how it goes, but I’m sure I’ll be able to tell if you have a limp tomorrow or not,” Nat snorted, you flipped her off playfully and started to walk out of the room.
When you entered the hallway, you heard your phone buzz. You took it out of your pocket and saw a text from Loki.
Loki: come visit me if you can, my little dove
You smile at his text. The nickname “little dove” always made your heart flutter. You pocket your phone and walk towards Loki’s room. You don’t even bother knocking, considering he was expecting you.
What you weren’t expecting was Loki to practically jump you the second you walked in.
He closed the door and pressed you firmly against it, kissing you hungrily as he groped your breasts without care. It took you by surprise, but you quickly melted into the kiss, kissing him back just as roughly.
Your guys’ tongue and teeth clashed together as he guided you to his bed, pushing you down onto it, before removing his shirt, and hastily removing your sweatpants and tossing them to the side. Before he flipped you over, setting you on his thigh
“Ride me.” He commanded, leaving no room for discussion. You blush and move your hand to the string of his sweatpants, “Not there,” he said simply.
You blush before experimentally rubbing your panty-clad cunt against his thigh. You let out a shaky moan at the new feeling. Loki growled before he started bouncing his leg. You let out a surprised, but aroused shriek, stopping the movement of your hips.
You let out another shriek when you felt his hand come down harshly on your ass.
“Did I say you could stop?” He asked in a serious tone. You shake your head no, “then keep going,” He said simply, before he started to bounce his leg again.
You continue to grind down on him as he bounce his leg. The feeling of cotton against your clit had you almost screaming as you continued to buck down against his thigh.
“Loki, I—” You started, before you cut yourself off with another moan.
“Soak me,” He said, grabbing your hips and pushing you down harder against his thigh.
Your whole body quivered as your eyes rolled to the back of your head. Your ears started to ring as you soaked his thigh completely, your juices squirting all over him.
He gave you no time to recover before he flipped you over and ripped your panties off and shoving two fingers inside of you, going at a rapid pace.
“Oh gods, Loki!” You screamed out, arching your back off the bed as his fingers drilled into you.
“You wanted to be fucked, hm? Oh I’ll make sure you can’t walk tomorrow…” He said huskily, before going down and attaching his lips to your clit, sucking it harshly.
His words did not process in your mind, instead you screamed out his name and tangled your fingers into his hair.
He curled his fingers at just the right spot and you came again, soaking his face, fingers, and the bedsheets below you as your arousal sprayed out of you once again.
Loki stood up and took off his sweatpants and boxer before flipping you over so your ass is in the air. Without warning he plunged into you, fucking you at a breakneck pace.
“Is this what you wanted, hm? You wanted to be fucked? Treated like a toy?” Loki growled, before slapping your ass harshly as he continued to drill into your abused hole.
“Yes! Fuck, Loki!” You screamed out, grinding back into his hips, meeting each of his thrusts. The words he said remained incoherent, as, lack for better words, he fucked your brains out.
He grabbed a handful of your hair and tugged it back, using it as leverage to fuck you even deeper. You gripped onto the bedsheets for dear life as he pummeled you with his cock.
He grunted as he felt his orgasm approaching, he reached forward, circling your clit at a rapid pace, causing you to scream out his name.
Your orgasm was approaching quickly as he fucked you swiftly. You tried to warn him, but were caught off by your orgasm as if ripped through your body.
You screamed out in sheer pleasure as you came on his cock. Your orgasm triggered his and he thrusted as deep as he could, spilling his seed deep inside of your quim.
He laid down next to you and looked at you with pure love in his eyes. You adjusted and laid down as well, looking at him.
“I actually wanted to talk—” You started, before being cut off by Loki
“You wanted to be fucked, not made love to… I overheard you and the Black Widow talking,” Loki said with a smile, “I hope I was able to fulfill your dreams,”
“Mmm… maybe another round or so could really fulfill my dreams” You smirked before crawling on top of Loki, starting yet another round
~ The Next Morning ~
You woke up in Loki’s bed, with Loki still sleeping peacefully next to you. You smile and decide to get up and head out to the kitchen for coffee.
You walked down the hallway into the Avengers common area where Natasha sat, drinking her own coffee. Natasha laughed at your limp as you hobbled over to the kitchen
“Oh shut the fuck up”
hayyy sorry for not posting in foreverrrr but i got bombarded with school, work, and family issues, and i haven’t really had the time to write something (even something small) and i also have officially hit a good ‘ol writers block!! if you have any requests please lmk and i will write them!!!
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diordeer · 3 months
Text
౨ৎ SOMEONE LIKE YOU
“i've been searchin' a long time for someone exactly like you, i’ve been travelin' all around the world waitin' for you to come through” - van morrison (smau)
contains: charlie bushnell x fem!reader, where they play in a movie adaptation of ‘better than the movies’ also pls ignore how i spelt ‘preparation’ wrong
description: i cant lie, before i saw this request i hadnt read the book but my friend had and she loved it so i was like ok lets impulse buy it… let me tell u i finished it so quick im OBSESSED
requested by: @taysbeauty
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Liked by iamcharliebushnell, momonatamada and others
yn.ln in the winter in the icy outdoor pool when u jumped in first i went in too!!
tagged iamcharliebushnell
user1 THE DREAM CASTING OMG
user2 “I WANTED WES” 😖😖😖
↳ user3 she gets it
user4 only one more week until this god sent movie comes out 🫡
↳ user5 i think it should be a law to watch every romcom mentioned before watching this in the cinema
↳ yn.ln how can i make this an actual law
iamcharliebushnell im with u even if it makes me blue 🥶🥶
user7 we all know the soundtrack for this movie is gonna HIT
↳ user8 imagine if taylor swift released new years day (taylors version) for it!
↳ user9 i honestly doubt it but i WISH
momonatamada ahhh i cant wait!!
user6 me patiently waiting for the scene when wes reads over livs shoulder ☺️
↳ user11 the tension 😫
user10 i will now never watch a romcom if it doesnt have charlie and yn as the love interests
yn.ln just posted on their story
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Seen by dior.n.goodjohn, sabrinacarpenter and others
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Liked by yn.ln, walker.scobell and others
iamcharliebushnell how you swoon me like no other!
tagged yn.ln
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user1 can we talk ab how charlie probs took that photo of yn 🩷
user2 IS THAT MR FITZ PERVERT
↳ yn.ln no its michael
user3 them captioning their posts with lyrics from liz and wes’ playlist is KILLING ME
user4 guys i just saw the film wtf it was everything i imagined and MORE
↳ user5 any scene with yn and charlie made me physically kick my legs and giggle in the cinema
yn.ln ooomg do iiii 🤭🤭
↳ iamcharliebushnell i wouldnt say swoon
↳ yn.ln yet u did 🤨
user6 can we talk about their on AND off chemistry pls
↳ user7 THEY ARE LITERALLY IRL WES AND LIZ
dior.n.goodjohn charlie in a romcom?!
↳ iamcharliebushnell u got something against that? 😧🤨
↳ dior.n.goodjohn never!!
user8 dream man playing a dream man
walker.scobell finally he plays a good guy 🙄
↳ iamcharliebushnell i betrayed everyone ONE TIME, get over it
user9 the way better than the movies has almost every trope in the books is insane
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yn.ln hold on to the memories, they will hold onto you!!!!!!
tagged iamcharliebushnell
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iamcharliebushnell did u actually just mug me off in the first pic while u look gorgeous in the last one?! absolute bias
↳ yn.ln u look great wdym 😃 plus! i think i got a pretty good photo of u in my last post
↳ iamcharliebushnell mhmm
user1 casually flicking past may jailer?!
↳ yn.ln im posing so cool in the photo, the second charlie took the photo i SCRAMBLED to the till to buy it
↳ iamcharliebushnell can confirm!!
user2 omg their latest interview together i cant 😣🩷
↳ user3 the way charlie looks at yn!!!!!!!
↳ user5 the things i would do for a relationship like theirs
↳ user4 lets be real if anyone played a relationship like liz and wes’ in a movie… you would 100% fall in love
↳ user6 guys they havent even said anything about being together!! and even if they are let them be
↳ user5 OH MY GOD its not that big of a deal get over it user6
kiernanshipka just saw the film, you were incredible!!
↳ yn.ln OH MY GOD I LOVE YOU
taglist: @lostinhisworld @lizziesfirstwife @auttumnsayshi @silkenthusiasts @taygrls @kidkrowk @kanojous @niktwazny303 @m00ng4z3r @highfidelities
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81folklore · 2 months
Text
heaven - OP81 - part 5
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pairings: oscar piastri x private!reader (fc: gracie abrams)
summary: australian adventures of yn and oscar
type: social media au (smau)
authors note: IM BACK WRITING MY FAVORITE ANGELS!!! ive been feeling slightly more motivated so i thought id just continue a story instead of creating a new one (at least whilst im in this slump) i do hope you enjoy!!
heaven masterlist masterlist
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yourusername
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liked by oscarpiastri, logansargeant and 7,191 others
oh australia how ive missed you and your gifts 💫
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user3 whats the best gift australia has given you??
yourusername oscar!!! liked by oscarpiastri
user3 SHUT THE FUCK UP WHATTTT?!?!??
user62 i feel SICK THEYRE SO??
oscarpiastri oh my goddd
oscarpiastri 😍😍
user4 you cannot separate oscar from that emoji
yourusername not even i can😕😕
oscarpiastri you can pry it from my cold dead hands
user81 that dog is so stinking cute
user22 yess but that dress is GORGEOUS
user5 right shes sooooooo pretty liked by oscarpiastri
user88 australia is the one whos lucky!! liked by oscarpiastri
user67 like they are being blessed with the yn ln
yourfriend3 you are oh so lovely liked by oscarpiastri
yourfriend3 i take it back stop your boyf from liking my comments abt you
yourusername he loves me🥰🥰
oscarpiastri i do!! its true!!
oscarpiastri 📍location home
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liked by yourusername, lilymhe and 52,281 others
my favorite lady in my favorite place
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user18 SHE IS HIS FAVORITE LADY OH MU GOD😭😭
user17 AND HIS FAVORITE PLACE IS HOME😭
user24 oh my god she is gorgeous liked by oscarpiastri
user84 i will never ever get tired of them
user28 i hope theyre in love forever and ever liked by oscarpiastri
user55 oscar liking this comment☹️☹️
yourusername my babyyyy
yourusername oh how ill always love you liked by oscarpiastri
oscarpiastri 🩷🩷
twitter
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yourusername
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liked by oscarpiastri, landonorris and 8,729 others
the day you entered my world you changed my entire view on life and myself, you help me find love and happiness in things i never expected and showed me how to appreciate the smallest things in life.
sometimes i wonder if im being selfish, how can i be worthy of all the love and time youve given to me? surely there is someone more deserving, someone who needs everything youve showed me more? i think about what i must have done in a past life to be gifted with you and then i wonder if we are destined.
maybe i dont deserve you in this life, maybe i dont deserve you in a thousand other lifes. but i believe we are meant to be which means for every universe we dont find eachother, we find eachother in a hundred more
im so glad we found each other, i dont know if i deserve you but i promise i will cherish and appreciate the way i have done for 6 years and the way i will continue to love you for as long as this universe allows and then i will love you even longer in another
six years used to feel like forever but now ill never have enough time, happy anniversary lovely
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oscarpiastri you continue to help my heart keep beating
oscarpiastri i didnt think love was real until i found you
oscarpiastri we will find eachother in every universe i promise
oscarpiastri you are the prettiest and most lovely person i have ever met and you deserve everything and more
yourusername my good looking boyyyy🩵🩵
user29 i have no words i cant comprehend what im reading
user10 i feel so violently ill they are so sweet
user62 my parents everyone!!!
user53 is that an engagement ring?!
user33 wait pause
user5 theres no way right??
oscarpiastri
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you’ve impacted my life in more ways than you will ever know and im so thankful that i get to love you for all eternity, you have such a beautiful soul and i can’t believe i get to hold it
happy six years and to a lifetime more
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yourusername you are so so incredible
yourusername i dont know how many other ways i can say it but i love you
oscarpiastri i love you too
user66 they are sooooo
user7 oh my gooooood i am a puddle of tears
user56 you just dont get them like i do
user32 anyone else sad we didnt get a long caption like yns was beautiful
yourusername oscar said more than enough in his letter☺️
user43 OH MY GOD HE WROTE HER A LETTER😭😭😭😭
user3 six years.. six damn years and they are still so in love
user48 guys are they engaged or not😭
yourusername not!! we are still young and exploring ourselves and the world and we are still grow into better people. we didnt want to rush when we still have so many things to do but we will when we know we are ready🩷 liked by oscarpiastri
user65 i didnt know it was possible to love two random strangers so much☹️☹️
yourusername added to their story
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text on story reads: 🩷🩷🩷
oscarpiastri added to their story
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seen by yourusername, aussiegrit and 105,482 others
text on story reads: sunshine ☀️☀️
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