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jazzythursday · 3 years

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I’m about to go into another very long Marvel rant/dissertation here— mostly for myself— that I started writing soon after the Loki Series finale so please feel free to just scroll past this, because honestly I think I kinda overdid this one. It’s jaded and overly dramatic even for me. You have been warned:

The last 4 Marvel movies/shows I’ve watched left me feeling so completely depressed and unsatisfied and hopeless about the future of popular entertainment and story telling in general, and I know I’m not the only one. The fact that fans are going into these experiences hoping for a good story and character arcs that make sense with prior characterization, and leaving feeling… empty is a very clear sign that their approach leaves a lot to be desired.

Infinite War had some valid reasons to end the way it did, because by having our heroes fall so much harder than ever before, it built up the tension and high stakes for the next film. But what does that do when Endgame leaves us feeling even worse? I wanted them to triumph and finally come together to be better. I expected there would be losses of course but not enough to negate the wins. Instead the characters were subjugated for plot, characterization was watered down, and we lost all the original Avengers besides Thor and Bruce (who was no longer even Bruce). Peter loses Tony, Thor’s previous loses are permanent, and so many other things that, in spite of loving a lot of the movie, mean I haven’t been able to stop being sad about it for literal years. And the amount of thoughtless destruction that seems to be at an all time high when it comes to character’s lives and disregard for properly exploring emotions just doesn’t leave much to be expected at this point. Far From Home was good. It was. I liked it a lot. The acting was wonderful and there were some really interesting themes they grappled with but I still walked out of the theater feeling like there was still so much detachment surrounding a lot of the decisions, a little too much thoughtlessness (that, and the gaping hole of Tony). I’m not going to talk about WandaVistion but I’ll say that I was invested until the start of episode 8, and finished episode 9 feeling drained and tired and sad.

Then we get to Loki, a show which has plagued far too many of my thoughts since I started watching it, and has crushed my hopes for ever truly being happy with a Marvel project ever again. Loki is a character who’s ostensibly felt alienated and unseen for most of his life, and that’s before finding out about his parentage. His first movie ends with his suicide attempt and subsequent fall into the void. His second takes place a year into working under Thanos and ends with him being taken away in chains (yes I know he’s the villain he’s done bad things etc. etc. but for the purposes of this I’m only focusing on his pov). Then his third involves his solitary imprisonment, his mother’s death, and his near-death (considering the likelihood that he was actually stabbed), although it does end on a lighter note with his acquisition of the throne. Then we get his redemption and reconciliation with Thor in Ragnarok, immediately followed by the utter tragedy that is the first 10 minutes of Infinite War, which I don’t think I need to explain.

So what I suppose I’m saying here (very very inadequately) is that after all of that, I can’t believe the proper story to tell in his first chance at being a main protagonist was one where he’s constantly degraded and beat up, convicted of things he didn’t actually do, given no focus on backstory or implied/established motivations, and labeled as a clown and a narcissist! His powers are weakened, he displays almost no recognizable mannerisms or competence, he’s held to a higher moral standard than every other character, shown no respect, and ultimately loses EVEN MORE. We’ve seen him lose and lose and lose and lose again. We’ve seen him die THREE TIMES, we’ve seen him redeemed TWICE. So who in their right mind thinks that the most compelling story to tell after all of that was to see him LOSE AGAIN?! And not only lose, but lose without any real triumph, dignity, or acknowledgment beforehand. Death to the author aside, reading the utter nonsense the team behind it have spread, it’s so clear that it wasn’t made in good faith. Whether in ignorance or true maliciousness, they just don’t care. They didn’t research. They didn’t try and see things from his point of view. They didn’t truly sympathize with him as a person while writing. They didn’t understand. And they truly, truly wanted him to fail.

I’m tired of feeling hopeless at the end of everything, of leaving the theater or turning off the TV wondering why I even bothered, why I even care when I’m just being strung along with as little consideration as an audience as my favorite characters. I wanted to actively see him strive to be better, not just be told he could be. I wanted to see him triumph over his demons, not forget them. I wanted to see him be the “master of magic” that every other damn movie has alluded to, and to use his powers effectively. I wanted him to be powerful. I wanted him to, if not win, then win on a personal level at least. I wanted to see him take agency in his life and PROVE EVERYONE WRONG! And, though it’s now bafflingly controversial to say, I wanted it to be told by an experienced and competent writing and directing team that knew and understood his character and were passionate about telling his story.

I would ascribe to the notion of “don’t like it, don’t watch” if I could but I care to much to not be affected by this obvious decline in quality and awareness. And I’m a relatively recent fan. I haven’t been waiting for Loki to get his moment in the sun for 10 years. I’M NEW HERE, and my heart breaks so much for fans of the original movies who have lost their love of Marvel or Loki because of the way it’s been handled. No one should fall further than they can climb up from, and I’m tired of watching loss after loss and never getting the release of gaining enough of it back. What’s the point of caring about these characters if the writers won’t? Of investing in a connecting cinematic universe if it lacks continuity? Of looking for clues and foreshadowing when there isn’t any and the only twists are random and pander to shock value? The way these pieces/characters are being created and interpreted is reductive and incompetent, and for once I’d like to watch something that feels crafted, inspiring, and gratifying to see to the end.

If some people like the Loki show we got, I have no argument against that, because my own opinion is just as subjective as theirs. Though, I’d like to think that if what I want is for the show to be better out of love for the same character, then what they enjoyed from the show can coexist in that. If anyone’s actually read up to this point, I have to admit I’ve forgotten mine. Mostly I just wanted to express my frustrations over how unfeeling and stale most entertainment, specifically from Marvel as of late, has been.

TL;DR: I care too much, waaay too much, Marvel cares too little, Disney doesn’t care at all, and I don’t know how to accept that.

#jazzy’s thinking too much again #marvel thoughts #marvel critical #loki series critical #loki series negativity #marvel #loki series thoughts #Loki series #why am i like this??#loki

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alwida10 · 3 years

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Yay, Loki episode four positivity (and a little bit of down-to-earth analysis) incoming! 😂

1. Perhaps I am a troll, or the former episodes have rendered me unable to approach the show like an adult looking for continuity, but I can’t help but like this episode. Most probably, because I watched Twitter slowly but steadily build up an anti-Sylvie shitstorm the episode now triggered. I couldn’t even focus on the other aspects. Because I pictured Twitter blowing up. Also, I almost couldn’t believe what I was watching. And this was the episode Tom looked forward to reading reactions on social media? Great god, you are a little troll, aren’t you? 😂

2. That being said, I don’t believe they are going for a romantic connection (but I wouldn’t mind if they did).

The episode focused a lot on relationships. Mobius's friendship with Ravonna (he gets betrayed). Mobius’s friendship with the hunters C-20 and B-15 (colleagues, so far no betrayal). Mobius's connection with Loki (they both complain about betrayal but was there betrayal? Loki fought Sylvie when he followed her. He only teamed up for real after she mentioned the TVA-people being all variants) and Loki’s connection to Sylvie. The show is about self, including ‘self-love’ and that’s something very confusing for Loki. My interpretation of him is that he doesn’t see what people could dislike in him and yet he only gets rejection. (‘Because I am the monster parents tell their children about at night?!?’, ‘that’s why you preferred Thor all those years?’, but answering ‘well, yes’ after Thor asks him if he thinks himself above humans.) and now, for the first time, he gets an ‘outsider's perspective’ on himself, or better Sylvie. In the second episode, he even asks ‘would I do that to me?’ She calls him a clown, perhaps like he called Thor an oaf. He sees how callous he/she can be, and then she shows him her hidden, vulnerable side that got hurt. And she is lovable. So he might be, too. Perhaps he is mistaking that for romantic attraction; validation can feel pretty overwhelming if you aren’t used to it.

3. Also, bwahaha! Validation! Mobius's questioning was shown as bad this time! It was clearly a manipulation and NOT a friendly banter. Finally! I can live with Möbius becoming a good guy as long as his former actions are clearly shown as belonging to the bad side! I was pretty shocked when he got pruned. It’s almost like they pulled a George Martin. X) but with the mid-credits scene and the pyramids scene not having been shown, I guess it’s less scary.

4. Anyway, my former criticism was (among other points) Loki being incompetent. So, while there is still much to desire in the competence sector, Loki did progress the plot a little this time by spoiling the variant thing to Möbius. Yeah, it’s not much, I am aware, but it’s more than nothing. Also, he fought two guards on his own while Sylvie and Ravonna had their moment fight. It’s not nothing. I wish Loki would have been the one to plot together with B-15, but well, yeah. I guess he was busy getting kicked in the crotch.

And while I am at it- no, I don’t have an issue with that. I didn’t see it being framed for laughs. Ok, perhaps the one point where he tries to talk himself out of it and it didn’t work, but there the joke was that it looked like it worked and not that he got kicked. It was a good attempt! Not like his attempt to mirror the old woman’s husband, which was cringy as hell. It’s not bad because it didn’t work.

Also yay! Sif! And an additional yay! Inclusion of myth!loki backstory! 🎉

Also, his verbal sparring session with Möbius was good. We knew he was lying when claiming to be the head of the mission, but the attempt was well done. Still a 3/10 in the competence sector, but it’s getting better.

4) Hunter B-15 or better - the fact that her prior enchantment was important again. It was a moment of “I combined the dots!” for me and I appreciate they did plan things over multiple episodes.

5. The acting was good! Both in B-15 part as well as Loki’s (obviously), Möbius’s and Ravonna’s. Especially Ravonna’s. Man, finally we have a face for the bad guys. Nice that most of the TVA people are good guys.

6. Another former complaint of mine was the missing sass! And voila:

So? Perhaps these are breadcrumbs, but I’ll still take them!

7. The episode was surprising! At the point Loki got pruned I was ready to say ‘called it! They wanted to replace him with Sylvie! Time to cancel Disney+’ but then they didn’t. I was surprised. And this way to Introduce kid Loki was agreeable with me. If they are both staying, I’m not feeling threatened. (IF they are both staying.)

8. Well, croki and the old Loki’s costumes are just epic, but that’s probably again my inner troll speaking. Hard to imagine him besides Loki with the Avenger’s outfit. 🤣

So yeah, I liked this episode best, so far. I hope they will show loki being badass at one point, but hey. There is still 1/3 of the season left. ;)

#tom hiddleston #tva loki #loki series positivity #loki series spoiler #loki show spoiler

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themadauthorshatter · 3 years

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Henry Stickmin Headcanons Part 2, to "celebrate" the finale of the Toppat!Charles AU(Press F to pay respects). I'll be going in and oit of the AU as well, but that will be seperate from the other headcanons

In Triple Threat, and in order, the tallest is Ellie, standing at 5'9" and Henry is the shortest at 5'4". Charles sits comfortably between them at 5'7". Neither use their powers for evil, even though it's tempting to literally something over his head sometimes.

Each member of Triple Threat has their reactions toward horror in general.

Charles is pretty unfazed by games like FNAF or anything with heavy jumpscares. He will not watch a movie with bad jumpscares(jumpscares used poorly.) He was a baby watching Sinister, The VVitch, and Lighthouse.

Ellie gets scared by just about anything, but breaks whenever she sees evil clowns specifically.

Nothing really scares Henry. Or at least he tells himself that. He's less open by getting scared, but don't tell Ellie or Charles.

Ellie and Heney, because they were in a mischief mood, tried scaring Charles. He punched Henry in the face on accident.

Charles sings really well, but only when he thinks there's no one around.

Ellie is the smartest of the trio. That doesn't mean Charles and Henry are idiots, even though they've done things that have warranted them a spot in the dumbass hall of fame.

When Rupert first joined, he'd literally never been more annoyed than when he met Charles, who, in his opinion, talked too much and didn't take anything seriously. It didn't really help that Galeforce always partnered the two, as to keep Charles safe on the ground when he couldn't directly see him. Rupert was mad at the fact he'd gone through a lot of training and was promoted to government babysitter, and it boiled out of him when Charles asked if he was okay. Rupert snapped at him, shouting at the pilot to just shut up for five minutes and actually do his part in missions, which was have Rupert's back or keep him informed of anything around them. He also yelled that Charles is incompetent and shouldn't even be in the military, as all he does is talk. He had brought this up with Galeforce, when the two got back and Charles excused himself to allow Rupert to give the report on their mission, but got a very proper scolding. He apologized to Charles when the YOUNGEST PILOT EVER got them both out of a sticky situation using some incredibly evasive maneuvers that Rupert was sure would get them killed.

After the deaths and funeral of Mr. And Mrs. Calvin, Galeforce adopted Charles, something that was in the couple's will. Charles did not talk to him for a long time, not until a rainy day that prevented any work that needed to be done. Galeforce noticed Charles sitting near either a patio door or by a window staring up at the clouds. He carefully sat next to him and admitted that he missed Charles's parents, too, saying they were very good friends of his and were always good to turn to for a smile or just to take a breather. He couldn't imagine how Charles felt, but he still missed them and was sorry all the same. That's when Galeforce noticed a card Charles was holding to his chest; a birthday card, one that read, "Charlie, if you're reading this, know that your father and I love you very much. No matter what, always remember that. We couldn't have asked for a better son, one as silly, smart, and ambitious as you. We will always love you. I'm sorry. Love, Mom," from Charles's mother and, "Hey, hawk. If you're reading this, it means something really bad happened to us both. Sorry we won't make it back for your birthday, more specifically that I broke my promise to you. You deserve to be happy, and I hope you can do that again someday. Charles, you can miss us, you can be sad, you can cry, it's more than okay to. I just hope one day you can smile and be happy again for us. I'm sorry. Your mother loves you, Charlie. I love you so much, son. Love, Dad," from Charles's father. There smugdes on some parts of the card, some old and some new, and it especially struck Galeforce that the two extremely sad messages shouldn't have been on a nine year old's birthday card. Galeforce apologized for not being Charles's parents, though told him that he'd try to be what they were, maybe more. He didn't talk, but Charles did huddle closer to his side and Galeforce put an arm around him as they continued watching the rain.

Do not challenge Charles to a foot race. He will outrun you.

Do not challenge Ellie to an arm wrestling match. She will always win.

Do not challenge Henry to an underwater how-long-can-I-hold-my-breathe challenge. You will most likely drown.

Triple Threat beat each other in their respective challenges/contests by cheating/sabotaging each other; Henry will try tackling Charles while Ellie will try to trip him, Charles will try kicking Ellie's chair to push it away while Henry teams up with him to try and push her arm down, and Ellie will throw little pool torpedoes at Henry, which is more passive than Charles shouting, "This is the greatest PLAAAAAAN!" and cannonballing in before wrestling Henry back above water.

Charles wakes up Ellie and Henry in various methods, since he's usually up first: He'll usually use an alarm, but sometimes, when he's really energetic, he bangs pots and pans together, gets a teakettle singing, uses and airhorn, and, the most extreme he's ever gone, taped a brown lunch bag to a leaf blower and brought a really bright light into both their rooms, rigging the devices to a light switch. With a snicker, he began to play that army/military wake up song on a trumpet with a megaphone taped to it and flipped the switch.

Both of them were ready to kill him.

Henry was initially left at an orphanage, but he was adopted at the age of seven. He was brought up well enough, until one of his parents started noticing that he was acting "weird," as in his 'ability' to see his choices and fails. This parent started ignoring him and told him to start acting normal or he'd be sent back to the orphanage. The other parent, the one that also noticed but didn't want to talk about it, still loved him, though started to get a little irritated when their partner left out of spite; "Either I go or the crazy brat goes." The other parent re-married and this new step-parent was nicer, but happened to wirk as a janitor for the CCC, and warned Henry to be careful with his 'powers' because the people the step-parent worked for weren't nice and would do bad things to him. The step-parent meant well, but Henry, having the memories of the parent that left fresh in his mind, took it as a threat to behave, which made him a very anxious kid. Anxious enough to become a kleptomaniac and pickpocket to relieve stress.

Ellie had the most normal life, having two parents and a brother, but turned to a life of thieving because the pressure of being a good person and her family's view of a black and white world drove her crazy.

You would have to be crazy to try and take on all three members of Triple Threat at once.

The trio sometimes share a room and bed, because of nightmares and they don't want to be alone.

Yeah. Triple Threat is basically a found family.

Ellie is the father and Henry and Charles are her two, wonderful, dumbass children, even though there are times the two take turns being the mother.

Now, ONTO SOME POST TOPPAT!CHARLES AU STUFF! This is kind of like an Epilogue, so buckle in.

Triple Threat gets two weeks off to fully recover. (Thank goodness)

They return to their apartment and go straight to bed, though they actually just camp out in the living room.

They still sleep like the dead; they wake up LATE the next day, at 4 in the afternoon.

Breakfast for dinner.

Even when they know they should go back to sleep around 10 pm, they stay up and watch movies. They let Charles pick, and he chooses a collection of Looney Tunes, Merry Melodies, and even the Looney Tunes Show.

Henry and Ellie notice him giggling whenever Daffy's on screen, and can't help but wonder why, though they don't ask when he also gets tears in his eyes. He explains later that he used to watch the old version of Looney Tunes and Merry Melodies with his parents and even Galeforce, sometimes, even though it was something that happened less frequently as Charles grew and became a more solid part of the military.

They stay up all night, taking turns watching movies, making small talk, and just enjoying each other's company.

Charles does have an episode when they're making lunch the next day when he accidentally drops a glass and has a flashback of Right killing the pilot of a destroyer sent to rescue him. It is a nerve wracking memory and it leads him to breaking down on the floor. Henry and Ellie do help him out of it, but he refuses to share what he saw with them. They don't push it and tell him to feel free to share whenever he's ready.

They keep an eye on him when he takes his ADD medicine, just to be safe.

They often go outside to do workouts, because they don't want to break anything in the apartment. Charles keeps up with them, and they simply enjoy the breeze and the outside when they're done.

Henry and Ellie do talk about what she told Henry back in Part 6, and she apologizes for not telling Henry sooner, also admitting that she was scared he would abandon her, if she told him. Needless to say, Henry's just glad the three of them are together.

Charles is welcomed back much more warmly when they return from their break.

First daybback and it's out of the frying pan and into the flame, because they have another group of thieves to deal with, smaller than the Toppat Clan, but still noticable: a biker gang that's here to steal stuff by any means necessary and be an insane headache for police and people on the road.

They don't know much now, but they will when the gang is followed in the air.

Galeforce offers Charles to fly and get some possible intell, though says that if he isn't comfortable with it he can back out.

Charles agrees, and says with an excited, nervous smile that he's missed being in the air.

Galeforce makes sure Henry and Ellie keep an eye on him, which they promise to do, before everyone sets out, Charles taking a seat in his fixed up helicopter with Henry and Ellie behind him.

With a deep breath, they head out, ready to do some government recon, which they're successful in.

At The Wall, Dmitri is grumbly and still a little pissed at how Henry got away AGAIN, but has to admit it's good to not have to worry about the Toppat Clan anymore, most of whom being in maximum security cells.

Right is bored as hell, but is glad that his cellmate is Reginald; Right's missing his cybernetic arm from the elbow down, his legs have been downgraded to be normal legs, and he is no longer OP.

Reg apologizes for letting this happen to the clan, but Right assures him it's not his fault, self deprecatingly admitting that he may have been stupid for MAYBE crossing the line. Reg can't help but softly chide him for it.

Right promises that they'll get out, though Reginald only snuggles into him more, saying it can happen in good time, but right now he just wants to be close to Right a little longer.

The CCC hasn't gotten a single major chaos reading since the orbital station was destroyed and the clan was arrested. Bill Bullet chuckles a simple, "Not bad, kid," as he leaves his readers to their work.

Terrence is kicking back in his new room, lying in a bed as he reads a book. He's enjoyed having regular, warm showers, access to a razor to shave, and, mostly, a sky that didn't have the orbital station in it; it leaves a bad taste in his mouth that Reginald actually outdid him, sending the clan in space for a short time.

He chuckles at the fact that Henry would've been a damned good leader, mostly because he could see overthrowing HIM to be easy. "Too bad he joined the government instead," Terrence sighs with a shrug before he burts into laughter, mad, hysterical laughter. It really would've been fun to see Henry as the leader of the Toppat Clan.😉

Back with Triple Threat, after their mission as they sit on a hill that would've held Charles grave, if this was Valiant Hero. They're quiet, enjoying the sunset and the sound of the waves below, not ready to go home yet.

Even though they're all quiet, Charles tips his head back and takes a deep breath, taking in the sun, the air, everything, before returning his gaze to the sunset.

"Man," he breathes, "I've... really missed this."

Ellie replies that she has as well, Henry nodding in agreement.

They all watch the remainder of the sunset, though, quite nicely, all three are holding each other's hands and smiling to themselves

#henry stickmin #completing the mission au #completing the mission #charles calvin #headcanons #ellie rose #stickvin #copperright #sad stuff #death of a parent tw #not nice parent tw #implied poor self medication tw #ptsd tw #fluff #angst

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dizzymoods · 3 years

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this is a film about kinetics. it’s an imagining of how humans could move in this world if they had the instincts & agility of felines. it’s actually really good. and the pov shots & sound design add to it: allowing the audience to experience these senses as a cat might (even if it is obviously imagined) and how such sensitivity affects movement and spatial awareness

i wanna watch the sam raimi spider-mans to see if something similar is pulled off. my guess is that it’s there in spideysense, webslinging, and fight scenes only. whereas here it’s the foundation on which the movie is built.

i don’t know why this was lost on so many ppl. i remember ppl clowning it for being an incoherent mess. cinematography that has no methodology behind it. the film is very clear in what it’s doing

the editor and DP both worked on 5th element so it’s a solid team to actually pull this off. irreverent, rhythmic, nimble. Thierry also shot Kiss of the Dragon. so they aren’t incompetent, just French.

this is why im adamant in saying that cinema can communicate ideas outside of the narrative while still telling a story. most ppl are trained to find meaning in how the aesthetics tell the story and not venture out to see if the aesthetics are doing something on their own. if the 2 don’t line up then it’s always the aesthetics that are faulted, never the story. when, the two might be working at the same theme/concept but different avenues of exploration. and that trips ppl up bc cinema is so basic (why i liken most movies to children’s picture books)

it’s really enjoyable so far (costumes and cop aside)

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mk-wizard · 4 years

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Top 10 Things Robots In Disguise Did Wrong IMO

Hello, fans.

I really hate knocking a series because I hate trash talking, so I won’t do it, but rather, I will some criticism on Robots in Disguise aka RID. I had a lot of high standards for this show especially considering it was supposed to be a sequel to Prime. There are many things about it that didn’t sit well with me, but there ten things I feel really stood out that really hurt the show the most. Note that Strongarm is not one of those things. Not liking Strongarm is a matter of taste it is not the make or break aspect of an entire series. Despite what many people think, one character you don’t like doesn’t ruin an entire series.

1- It didn’t feel like a genuine sequel to Prime. - I understand that in RID, some time has passed after the end of Prime so things around going to be different. However, the only thing from Prime that was brought over to RID was Bumblebee himself and I felt he did not have a lot in common with his Prime counterpart. RID felt like a completely new show or rather like the sequel of another series. The old cast is never brought up or shown, old alliances seemed to have been forgotten and whatever happened to the Predacons? When making a sequel TV series, it should follow a certain level continuity with the series it is following kind of like how Beast Machines followed Beast Wars so smoothly.

2- Fixit’s performance as the first handicapped Autobot was rather insensitive towards the viewers. - I don’t mind Fixit being handicapped or being the comic relief, but I do find it kind of insensitive especially in today’s day and age for Fixit to be comic relief because he’s handicapped. He was portrayed as weak, an invalid and at times, incompetent which he clearly isn’t. In fact, he has an arsenal and can hold his own, but even after this was found out, he was put back into his “weakling” role. This is not a good look for Transformers. A lot of people watching the show wound up handicapped because of an accident like Fixit did or have handicaps similar to his, and I don’t think it’s very nice to give off the message that people like them are “broken” and this makes them clowns we should laugh at. This is backwards writing at its worst and shame on Hasbro for that.

3- Forgettable human characters. - In Prime, Jack, Miko, Raf, agent Fowler and even Jack’s mom had very strong personalities that made an impact in the show. They were actually helpful to the Autobots and could even be forces to be reckoned with. You could never say the humans of Prime were weak or just played humans in distress. They would rescue the Autobots just as often if not more so than the Autobots rescued them. In RID, Denny and Russel were not as impressive. If anything, Russel felt like a copy of Jack at times, but in a much weaker way. He lacked Jack’s maturity and character development. At times, I also wondered why Bumblebee never just tried to make contact with Agent Fowler at least upon returning to Earth (more on this later).

4- The quality felt like a step down from Prime. - I understand RID was supposed to appeal to a younger audience, but when you’re following an act like Prime, you should put your best foot forward even when presenting to kids. After all, Rescue Bots was also made for kids, but it took place in the same universe as Prime and never compromised its quality. RID felt very silly in its humour, the majority of the episodes felt like the old fashioned and outdated “monster of the day” formula, the plot felt made up as it went along and the characters were rather one dimensional.

5- It should have brought back a large majority of the Prime cast as regular characters. - I understand that even a sequel series is going to have a few new characters. Beast Machines did, but what it didn’t do was scrap 99.9% of the old cast for a new one. It didn’t fix what wasn’t broken and kept the characters who worked best for the series. Like I mentioned before, why didn’t Bumblebee ever try to contact the old human gang especially agent Fowler? Didn’t they keep in touch? And didn’t Ratchet stay on Earth at the end of Prime because he wanted keep Earth safe from any remaining Decepticons? And what happened to the Decepticons who were already on Earth? RID is supposed to be a sequel to Prime not a parallel. It should have brought back most of the old gang especially for its setting.

6- It had tons of plot holes. - As well as forgetting its own cast, RID forgot a lot of pivotal plot elements left behind by Prime that it should have worked with. The most obvious being the Predacons considering most of the enemies in RID had animal motifs. Also, if Bumblebee was so important on Cybertron, his absence would have been felt on Cybertron. People would have gone looking for him. And as mentioned before, there were already a lot of Decepticons still on Earth. It wasn’t necessary to bring in these new animal themed Decepticons.

7- Optimus stole Bumblebee’s spotlight. - RID was supposed to be the series where Bumblebee was supposed to shine, be the hero and leader, and possibly become a Prime. He kind of did those things, but the way Optimus was brought back overshadowed him a lot and that’s no good. Rescue Bots showed a good way to bring in Optimus as a guest or secondary character without overshadowing the heroes of the story. In Rescue Bots, Optimus is assisting, but stepping out of the way for the most part. In RID, as soon as Optimus came back, he completely got in Bumblebee’s way and even made him look bad. This just seems like muddled storytelling to me. Maybe it would have been better if Optimus hadn’t been brought back at all.

8- The enemies were rather lackluster. - Prime gave us tons of enemies that shocked us, had grit and were not afraid to be truly bad like Megatron the conqueror, Starscream the snake and of course, Unicron himself who truly did live up to his chaos bringing persona. And even Predaking was the stuff of nightmares yet at the same time, has this majestic aura hence his name. The enemies of RID felt like a bunch of thugs, they were mostly monsters of the day and even Megatronus felt like a step down in villain quality. He didn’t make me feel anything really and while I know the series wanted to be child friendly, I think it tried too hard. Megatronus just felt like a lesser version of Unicron and many of the villains felt like lesser versions of their Prime counterparts. And this is bad. Even when they explained their motives, I didn’t feel like they delivered that impression that they were all that bad. Just more like they were trying to play the role of being bad like actors in a show. Pardon the harsh criticism, but that’s how I felt.

9- The ideas it presented had been done before. - I hate saying this, but everything I saw in RID had been done before in other Transformers series. None of the ideas felt that fresh at all especially not the setting of Autobots being marooned on Earth and then needing to fight the Decepticons marooned there with them. Like, come on! Even the idea of reviving Optimus had been done before. I think the plot of RID would have benefited more and would have had more of an opportunity to be original if it had literally picked up where Prime had left off with rebuilding Cybertron or tying up loose ends left by Prime.

10- Bumblebee’s performance felt like a step down after Prime. - In Prime, Bumblebee went from being a Scout to a full blown Megatron slayer. He was a badass who didn’t take trash from anyone and he knew what to do without needing to say it. And as soon as he did have a voice, he showed a lot of promise as a leader in every way possible. However, in RID, he seems to have regressed in both leadership skills and in maturity. He’s goofy in all the wrong ways, he is overly concerned with catchphrases and he can’t keep his team together. As mentioned before, RID Bumblebee did not give me the impression that he was the same Bumblebee from Prime. He felt like a different guy.

To anyone who is a fan RID, I don’t mean to offend you. I just had to get this off of my chest. Usually, I don’t care for a sequel following its legacy, but RID felt like a huge drop in standards to the point where it didn’t even look like a sequel anymore.

To anyone who agrees with me, what are your thoughts and what reasons can you think of that caused RID to not live up to Prime’s legacy?

#transformers #transformers fandom #transformers prime #transformers robots in disguise #robots in disguise #prime #tfp #arcee #bulkhead #ratchet #transformers rid #rid #bumblebee #autobots

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societysonlooker · 3 years

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Ngl the best part of reading young justice is the absolute confusion the rest of the team gets anytime tim uses his batfam com to contact oracle. Like, the rest of the team doesn't always use those coms, but the batfam have theirs anytime theyre in uniform, and have a phone or com on them any other time as well. The team honest to God thinks oracle is the name of a well programed computer, because they dont think any human could do anything online that quickly.

And like, YEA it's hillarious to read, but it also kinda reinforces that, even though he's a kid sidekick, he, in his home environment, is uo their for "most competant" on the team. That doesn't necessarily make him a great leader, but it really makes the bats stand out amongst the rest of the world's heroes. They DONT have superpowers, and their villians are literally fucjing insane, or hypercompetant, when compared to most other rogues galleries, even the star city rogues. There is an irony that one of superman greatest nemesees is a normal human in an expensive suit, and that batmans greatest enemy is a hyper-insane sadistic asshole hellbent on destroying gotham for the sake of a psycological warfare game and a laugh. Lex has a goal, can be predictable, but joker plays with and hurts people cause he gets a kick out of it, and frankly, he's ridiculously competent at doing this. He doesn't NEED all the resources in the world, because he's good at plans that, one way or another, involve enough steps that he gets what he needs on the way the the end. Everything is a chess move for him, except the chess game is a horror clown house.

Im not saying joker is a more-evil or more competant villian than lex, it takes SUPERMAN to take down lex in his suit, after all, and while superman might be able to actually get all of jokers bombs into space or saving all the civilians while they detonate, equally so that members of the batfam are probably the only detectives in the world good enough at what they do to put lex behind bars for good, and wayne money and lawyers are probably the only money and lawyers that could go toe to toe with lex's and win.

What I'm saying is, no, the bats aren't the most powerful of dc's villians, but they ARE some of the most competant at actually stopping criminal activity (revolving door of Arkham ignored. Thats not technically their fault) metas and alien heroes are more physically able to handle threats, but the fact that many of them are susceptible to any regular human with any form of advanced martial arts is really very telling. And again, thats not to shit on other heroes! There is very little most of the batfan could do against zoom, or zod, or most of wonder woman's rogues for that matter, but, save for signal, the batfam CANT lose their ability to fight crime unless they A) get amnesia or B) get physically maimed beyond repaire.

(they've handled the first of these very poorly, but the later very well, sans some of the Barbara stuff. But like, a paralyzed Barbara still living badass and being the "man in the chair" for all computer stuff is *peak*, and and batman beyond premise of an aging batman doing everything he can to stay fighting until he passes on the mantle is, wildly IN character for Bruce, and even after passing on the mantle, HES A TOTAL BADASS! He sees his younger self and instead of being wistful he basically goes "damn i was incompetent back then" and moves on. Well done dc, well done)

My point is. Seeing Tim reach back to the bats for help when hes working with young justice is both funny, because I fucking love oracle, and also a kind of slap in the face that while YJ are heroes in their own right, many of them are still very, very green. And while ALL of the core 5 have their own complexes abt living up to their mentors, Tim is never the one who worries abt his competence as an individual. He KNOWS hes a good detective and fighter, his worry is abt failing batman in other ways, but even then, he lies to the man constantly in order to assert his own Independence from him, and to do what he thinks is best. He doesnt see himself as batmans equal yet, but he knows he will be someday.

Of all the heroes, the bats, for all their emotional constipation, are the most practical, and they operate the most like a fully functional machine. And it READS in a way that makes them seem like they're in a league above the rest.

Anyway, the bats are weirdly competant and I love oracle and tim is my CHILD and while I love most of DCs heroes the air of practicality and trained-in hypercompetance the bats radiate makes me happy.

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tessatechaitea · 4 years

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Justice League International #8 (1987)

Is it weird that I have a newsstand copy of a comic book when I definitely was shopping at my local comic shop in 1987?

This cover has so many jokes to talk about that I probably won't have time to review the entire issue. My stomach is already sore for laughing so hard! Look at how the box marked "fragile" is about to fall onto the floor thanks to the carelessness of Blue Beetle and Booster Gold! Ha ha! And they're carrying the large box upside down! According to the label on the upside down box, it's going to Paris, France so it must contain Crimson Fox who is almost certainly swearing in French because have you ever tried to masturbate while upside down in a box being jiggled by two men?! The incompetence of those guys is hilarious! But the best joke is the one where the only woman on the team doesn't lift a finger to help and also can't make up her mind about the placement of a gigantic box that hasn't been opened yet! See how funny that is? Because who cares where the box is placed?! It's not like they're moving a desk or an end table and Black Canary is coming up with a floor plan! It's just a box that will need to be opened and then broken down and then thrown out! The other funny part is that yellow spray around Beetle's head and the shape of his mouth because I think it suggests he's about to call Black Canary a bitch! Ha ha! I probably left out the joke about the hernia although that one might just be implied. Also, it'll probably be a blatant joke later in the story. The issue begins with Jack Ryder on his right-wing radio call-in television "news" program fiasco of a show Hot Seat trying to get the masses to shit blood over the Justice League. It'll work because the masses in comic books (as well as the masses not in comic books because we've all seen how people who listen to and watch right-wing radio call-in television "news" programs easily believe the alternate reality fed to them because it speaks to their inherent biases and selfishness) are idiots. (That might be my favorite interruption by parenthetical reference I've ever written.) I also know that it will work because Glorious Godfrey only recently did the same thing a year or two ago and it worked. But comic books don't recognize time and space in the same way that we more logical and real readers do so the masses won't remember that they were fooled just a year ago by idiotic television pundits who don't mind seeing the world burn as long as they can cash a fat check over it. I doubly also know it will work because Millennium is coming up and I think that might be proof that maybe Jack Ryder was sort of right because aliens have infiltrated Earth and are pretending to be heroes and possibly even right-wing radio call-in television "news" hosts. I don't really remember much about Millennium except that it was weekly and there were Manhunters in it.

My favorite comic book characters when I was a kid were Blue Falcon and Dynomutt. I bet Jack Ryder was Sean Hannity's favorite. Tucker Carlson's favorite was probably Hitler.

This issue begins the long running joke that Martian Manhunter is addicted to Oreos. I fucking get it, man. Have you ever tried to melt an Oreo into a spoon, fill a needle with the liquid contents, and inject it straight into your bloodstream? Me neither because that's stupid, you dumb idiot. Why would you even suggest it? You need to inject them straight into your taste buds. J'onn, Mister Miracle, and Captain Atom are setting up the New York Embassy which leads to lots of jokes about shoddy construction and terrible wiring and lazy movers. At one point Captain Atom electrocutes himself and then destroys all of the wiring because he's the guy the United States wanted to represent them on the new international team. I'd say his penchant to escalate a situation straight to violence proves the United States made the right decision. Batman and Guy Gardner oversee the outfitting of the Russian Embassy with a little help from Rocket Manhunter #7.

Even Rocket Red has heard about Guy's serious brain trauma and yet nobody has even discussed getting him a medical check-up. What a bunch of bastards!

This is also the issue that begins the "Bwa-ha-ha-ha" gag (I think. Did it happen in an issue previously? Maybe?! Anyway, it really gets going here). That's the gag where somebody laughs when something terrible happens to somebody else. It's a great team building exercise, to laugh at a co-worker's pain! Or if it isn't, it, at the very least, helps develop personal morale. Nothing better than laughing at your manager after her credit card was stolen by a prospective new employee while the entire company was in a meeting, especially after learning that said card was pretty much just used at The Honey Baked Ham. Does that make if funnier? Or is this one of those dark humor things like when the same manager was super pissed at an employee I was training for not showing up for work the day before Thanksgiving only to learn later that she had died of carbon monoxide poisoning the previous night which caused her to erupt into crying jags for the rest of the day which I'm positive weren't for my poor co-worker but for her guilty feelings of being so angry at her. That's dark humor, right? The "Bwa-ha-ha-ha" gag begins when Booster tries to hit on a Parisian woman and gets shot down. Later, she winds up being the League's Paris Bureau Chief. And also maybe Crimson Fox?

This scene is well done in a book that often tries too hard for stupidly silly humor.

I'd say that these three pages (the scanned page being the third of the three) of interaction between Blue Beetle and Booster Gold is ground zero for what would become a great best friend relationship. Any interaction before this was just of the generic Blue Beetle making a stupid class clown comment to the group. But this foundational scene in Paris already feels like these two at their closest which, admittedly, is mostly Blue Beetle laughing at something dumb Booster Gold did. But I like to view this entire relationship through the lens of a Booster Gold mostly driven mad and insane from having to live through so many alternate timelines. Sure, the reader doesn't know about that aspect of Booster Gold yet (and won't for more than a decade). But I can't help but understand Booster Gold through that lens now. And his need for some kind of consistency and whimsy and, almost certainly, a need to be able to laugh at himself must be expressed through this relationship as a kind of therapy. In a universe where not even the timeline lacks consistency, Booster Gold finds solace in getting his balls busted by Blue Beetle.

Maybe I'm a dick who doesn't understand true friendship but this is totally what it looks like, right?

The issue ends with a Keith Giffen drawn story about the end of the Global Guardians, or at least the end of their United Nations backing. I'm sure it's a set-up for a future story but even if it were just a couple page story acknowledging the Global Guardians and how they're affected by a new United Nations backed team, it would remain an interesting moment. I don't need iron clad continuity in my comic book universe but I am entertained when writers acknowledge the waves their stories are making in that continuity. Plus it's drawn by Giffen which always makes it seem like I'm reading a story from the perspective of a madman. Justice League International #8 Rating: B+. How come when I publish a manifesto, people refer to it as a 'zine?! How do you get the fucking power to have your photo-copied screed with "art" considered a manifesto?! How many people do I have to rant at to get some Goddamned recognition?! "The Truth About Star Trek Transporters" is not a fucking fanzine, people! It's a manifesto of the alternate reality we're being asked to accept! The alternate reality of an alternate reality where people are being sent to their deaths every fucking mission only to be replaced by clones of themselves and nobody fucking cares! Probably because they're all clones of clones of clones and their ability to think rationally has diminished to the point of dogmatic stupidity! Am I the only one witnessing this while others simply think its some kind of retrograde perspective?! Does my antediluvian intellect subquester the means of proliferating the parallax of reality?! Does the inclusion of three hilarious dick jokes deny me the mantle of manifesto writer, oublietting my ego into an infinite mirror trick of endless zineian declarations?! Fuck this shit! And fuck that satellite that's been following me throughout this meandering conclusion!

#Justice League #Justice League International #Kevin Maguire #Keith Giffen #J.M. DeMatteis #DC #DC Comics

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omigoshninjaturtles · 5 years

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Why it's great in Rise for Leo to BECOME the leader instead of STARTING as one

I've been thinking about this a lot and discussing this with friends in our private TMNT chat. I just wanted to share my musings about why I think it's actually a good thing. Not is it only a nod to the original Mirage comics, I think it's important to Leo's development as a character.

In Rise, Leo has shown different, but in some ways, the same insecurities that other incarnations of Leo have. In previous incarnations, Leo has always felt pressured and stressed about feeling incompetent and being unable to protect/guide the family. Rise Leo has that same issues, but it's enhanced by the fact that he isn't the leader.

"I'm useless." - Leo, Minotaur Maze

"I'm nothing without them [my brothers]." - Leo, Portal Jacked

Looking some Rise episodes like Minotaur Maze and Portal Jacked, Leo feels like he's the load to his brothers. He's the only one of the brothers who hasn't really mastered their weapon properly yet (Mikey and Raph have pretty good control of their new weapons while Donnie only has minor hiccups on his tech bo). He's getting better, but as Portal Jacked proves, he still feels like he's nothing without his brothers. Leo gets very eager in opportunities that allow him to step up or become 'better'. This is why he got so excited in Minotaur Maze to become a champion or why he embraced becoming a pro wrestler in Shell in a Cage. Although perhaps he knew inside that the title meant very little, he just wants a title to prove to others and most importantly himself that he’s not nothing. Inside, Rise Leo believes that he's nothing, useless, and he's desperate to prove himself.

In previous incarnations, it sometimes felt (to me) that being a leader was a heroic burden Leos had to take, that becoming one meant taking on the responsibilities no one else wanted; basically to take one for the team. I keep thinking back to 2003 Mikey's deconstruction of Leo's character:

“I think you all should just lay off the poor guy [Leonardo]. I mean, it can't be fun always being the responsible one. And we're the ones who really benefit: Raph's free not to think cause Leo does all the thinking for him, Don's free to dream, and I'm free to take it easy all because Leo's busy being responsible enough for all of us.” - Mikey, TMNT 2003

In Rise, instead of leadership being a burden, it's actually something that will build up Leo's character (not that the burden thing it’s bad, it’s just a different take). Not only will it give Leo purpose, but it'll also help improve the low opinion Leo has on himself that he keeps hiding by the classic Superiority Inferiority Complex / Sad Clown shtick. It will build up his confidence and it's great to see this development of a teen who suffers from feeling that he's nothing, something a lot of people face in life, to step up and realize, 'Hey, I am something'.

I also think that this development for Leo is going to be an interesting one for Raph. Rise Raph sort of designated himself as the leader because he's the oldest. He doesn't like taking orders from anyone else, and he's happy that way. I don't think Raph is a bad leader, he's honestly doing good and the best he can, which is all anyone can ask for... but admittedly, he isn't super great. He doesn't think things through and he sometimes doesn't have that intuition that comes with decision making. In fact, Leo is doing a lot of backseat leader-ing when opportunities arise, having great leadership qualities and intuition, things which Raph unfortunately lacks as a leader. Even Donnie has shown that he trusts Leo almost unconditionally when he wasn't even paying attention in the conversation at hand, automatically agreeing with Leo in a debate between Raph and Leo (in Hot Soup: The Game).

I'd like to think that Raph knows deep inside that he may not be the best choice as leader for his brothers, so he feels pressured and may be prone to lashing out when tensions get high (shown a bit in Mascot Melee).

My analysis and prediction is that Raph will have to learn the hard heartbreaking and important lesson that will test the bond between Leo and Raph: Sometimes, being a great leader isn't about making hard choices or organizing the people, it's knowing when you need to step down and let someone else takes the reigns and lead. It’s a hard lesson to learn and Raph realizing that will be one of the most emotional and mature moments in the show, I feel it.

It's always said the real adventure is the journey not the destination; and I'm hella excited and happy to see Leo's journey to becoming more confident with himself and becoming leader, as well as the subsequent character development Raph has to go through about stepping down as leader. Also I'm not ruling out the possibility that Rise Leo might face some of the same stresses that come with being a leader in addition to the journey to become one.

These are just all my thoughts anyway :P

TL;DR - It's great that we see Rise Leo become a leader instead of starting as one since we get to see his development from a guy who has poor opinion of himself that he hides under jokes and a Superiority Inferiority Complex to a confident leader. Also having Raph learn the lesson that sometimes a good leader knows when it's time to step down and let someone else lead.

#i have a lot to think about #im very excited for the leo leader arc #don't fail me know rise i know you have the potential #leo #leonardo #raph #raphael #tmnt #teenage mutant ninja turtles #rise of the tmnt #rottmnt #character analysis #character deconstruction #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #character essay

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fanficsbytoast · 4 years

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Mischief Tango Chapter 1

After Tyler Cowie has a disastrous run-in with the Tesseract, she has to team up with the god (or sometimes goddess) of mischief to get rid of her new powers. Or at least, that’s plan.

Warnings for story: M Language, T violence, T sex

Warnings for chapter: M language

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I don’t think this date could have gone much worse if I’d shown up in clown shoes and a Darth Vader mask. I tiredly stared at the guy across from me, resting my face in my hand while he tapped away on his phone.

“You like…medieval literature, right?” I asked, hoping to make this less awkward.

“14th century manuscripts,” he said bluntly.

I bit back a ‘isn’t that the same thing’ by taking a long drink of water.

Brendon had been a lot friendlier a couple of days ago, when we’d run into each other in a coffee shop. Oh, yeah, it had been real cute and cliché when I’d bumped into him, knocking his drink all over him and then buying him another. Then we’d hit it off because I was carrying books with me and he was a bookbinder.

By basic romance literature standards, we were basically made for each other. But it turns out that you needed more than just a common interest to click with someone.

“Do you like any…like, modern books?” I asked. I traced my fork around my plate, drawing little rake-marks in the cheese sauce of my pasta.

He snorted. “Modern writing lacks even the most basic literary competence. It’s nothing more than the same tropes recycled with angst and poor grammar.”

I held back a grimace. “Oh.”

Giving up, I stared down at the book on my lap. First off, I know it was rude, and secondly, this was Twilight and any normal, thinking person would be appalled by it. Maybe it was just a sign of how terrible this date was, but I thought the book was hilarious.

I took another drink of water, my gaze still on the words.

Wait, did it just compare the freaking vampire to a disco ball?

Before I could stop myself, I snorted water right out of my nose and onto the table…and into Brendon’s face. The poor guy sat there in shock, and I stared on in complete mortification.

“Oh gosh, I’m sorry—um, here!” I grabbed the nearest napkin and tried to wipe some of it off his face.

“Tyler—” He tried to push me off, but I ended up knocking over his wine glass into his lap.

At this point, all I could do was close my eyes.

“I’ve…got to go,” he said stiffly. “I forgot—”

“Yeah, yeah, I know.”

“Eleanor—”

“Tyler. Just go.”

The table shifted as he got up and, and I didn’t open my eyes again until I was sure he was gone. At that point I just paid the tab, only to realize that Brendon had left the whole thing for me to pay for.

Jerk. I shoved some breadsticks into my purse and got the heck out of there.

Two months. I was two months into trying to ‘restart my life’ and I had suffered through five failed job interviews and eleven failed (or even set-up) dates.

I wandered out onto the busy London sidewalk, a lump forming in my throat.

Maybe I should call my parents back in New York. I hadn’t spoken to them in a month; even though those aliens had stormed Manhattan less than a year ago. My parents lived outside the city, but still: Aliens! Actual aliens! What if they came back?

And superheroes? I could hardly believe they were real, either.

A car roared by and slid through a puddle, sending a sheet of mucky water sloshing into me. I squealed and jumped back, but it was too late. The muddy water was all over my dress.

I wanted to cry. A nineteen-year-old woman shouldn’t cry over a bad date or a ruined dress, but I was done. I’d been trying my darnedest for weeks, and I was no closer to turning my life around than when I first got off that plane.

I covered my mouth and took a deep breath. People were probably wondering why a muddy girl was hanging around the sidewalk with tears in her eyes.

Oddly enough, the place was empty.

I’d never seen the sidewalks and streets so devoid of life, especially out here by all the restaurants and night life. Maybe I’d taken a wrong turn or something?

I looked down at my phone for directions. My GPS would have to tell me how to get home. I’d walked here with Brendon and he’d left me, so there was no telling if I was even heading towards my appartment.

“Damn it, Brendon,” I muttered under my breath. I thought about calling him and just asking for some directions, but I didn’t want to hear his voice or see his face or anything until I had some time to cool off. Right now, I kind of wanted to put worms in his shoes.

That wouldn’t be fair to the poor worms.

At least if I calmed down, I could drag him with some dignity: I bought you a donut! You shared it with me! I LET YOU USE MY STARBUCKS POINTS TO ORDER YOUR CHAI LATTE!

Seriously, was there a way to refund those? Like an I-just-got-dumped-on-the-first-date refund?

“Your game is over.”

Say what now? I looked around to try and find out who was speaking, but all I could see were shadows and the soft, dancing glow of the streetlights.

“I’m sorry,” said a softer, yet no less cold, voice. “I haven’t the slightest idea of what you’re—”

“Shut it, Asgardian.”

The voices were coming from down an alleyway. What kind of a name was Asgardian? Sheesh, that was even worse than Eleanor.

Seriously, though, was someone getting mugged? Nah, these guys seemed to know each other. Maybe it was a drug bust.

“You have it,” said the rough voice. “We know you do.”

“Have what?” asked the softer. It was taunting.

“You know what we mean. We want the casket. Now hand it over.”

I started to hurry on my way, but then a blue light shone around the corner of the building. What the heck…?

I should run. I should definitely run. But what was that light coming from?

My ‘monkey brain’ won out and I crept between the buildings until I was just at the corner of the alley It stretched on, long and narrow, between the shops and houses and the privacy wall behind them. At the far end, where a wall blocked off all escape, stood a man dressed in a long coat.

He cornered by two towering, hunched creatures. And even despite the blue light, I could tell that they truly were blue. Like, Blue Raspberry Jolly Rancher blue—like giant, mean-looking Smurfs.

But my attention was drawn to the source of the light. The man in the coat was holding a blue box in one hand, and it glowed so brightly that it illuminated the entire alleyway.

“That’s not the casket,” growled one of the big evil Smurf creatures. “What have you done with it?”

“Oh, I don’t have it,” said the man, eyeing them with contempt. I could just make out his facial features: Smooth and elegant, but harsh and full of hatred for the things standing before him. His eyes glittered with anger. “Odin is keeping it in his treasure hoard. I would suggest that you go to him if you’re so interested in the Casket of Winters.”

Was this some kind of role-play? Like that guy with a LARP group I’d ran into a few weeks ago?

Ugh, he’d stood me up.

One of the monsters raised his arm. In the blue glow, I saw a shimmering weapon extend from his hand.

It was a blade of ice.

Okay, definitely not some kind of Live Action Role Play. This was real.

“Now,” said the man, a little smile on his lips, “what good could come in killing me without reason?”

“Oh, we have a reason,” said the other creature. “You killed Laufey.”

Holy—what? This guy had killed somebody?

The man laughed. “Preposterous. How would I ever have the opportunity to do that?”

“You lured our King into the heart of Asgard and killed him where he stood.”

“I gave Laufey every opportunity to kill Odin,” said the man. “It’s his own fault he was an incompetent beast who couldn’t even defeat a few guards.”

“That’s a funny thing,” said the monster. “I heard it was you who killed him. You saved Odin’s life, that’s what the rumors said.”

“Well, people have been known to spread gossip,” said the man, beaming with that salty, fake smile again. “I can assure you that—”

“You are a liar and a murderer,” snarled the monster with the blade. “And you will pay for your transgressions against Jotunheim!”

Yoda what now? I didn’t think they were talking about Star Wars.

Despite every fiber of my rational mind screaming for me to get out of there, I crept a little closer, hunkering just around the corner of the nearest building so I could hear better.

I knew it was stupid. This was murder and who knew what else. But it’s not every day that you start seeing stuff that could have come straight out of Star Trek, and my butt was not moving.

“Now would that truly be wise?” asked the man. He was completely unphased by the monsters’ threats, which made me think he was probably even dumber than I was. “I regret to say this, but I have been humoring you.” He raised the glowing cube. “Do you know what this is?”

“I don’t care,” said the monster who seemed to be the leader.

“You say that, but with its power I could defeat the both of you with a wave of my hand.” The monsters glanced at each other, and the man grinned again. “So why don’t we end these negotiations on a pleasant note, in which we go our separate ways and you don’t interfere with my plans?”

The monsters glanced at each other, but then they stepped aside. The man waved his hand and the cube suddenly disappeared.

It was all starting to make sense. All this talk with names I couldn’t pronounce? Weird creatures? Mysterious creepy magician man? I was in an anime.

Just kidding. No, I was witnessing a legit alien invasion—or maybe the alien mafia. It didn’t matter. I needed to get out of here before they realized I was watching them.

I turned around, only to collide into a wall. Except, it wasn’t a wall. I stumbled back, and in the pale light of the overhead lamp, I could see the man in the long coat. Even in the shadows, I could see the glower on his face.

Shit! How’d he get here so fast?

I tried to run past him, but he grabbed my arm and dragged me around the corner and into the alley.

“I don’t suppose this is yours?” he asked the monsters. I tried to wrench and squirm out of his grasp, but he was unbelievably strong.

Right. Aliens.

Tyler, you fucking moron, why didn’t you run?

“A mortal?” asked one of the monsters.

“Mortal?” I repeated. “What the—”

“You insult us,” said the other. “Just kill it and let’s get on with it. It’s probably a spy.”

“I’m not a spy!” I said frantically. “I just heard voices and—I mean, I didn’t hear much—really! You guys were just, uh, talking about…um…Chicago, right? You know, cyanide, squish, spread eagles—"

The man’s hand clapped over my face. I wanted to scream, but my mind was suddenly filled with flashing images of my past.

I was at my third birthday party; donning a cheap, shimmering Cinderella dress that was two sizes too big while my then-dark curls got covered in pink frosting from my cake.

And then I was seven, blonder headed now, playing in the hayloft of a pig barn at the state fair. My sister’s son, who wasn’t much older than I was, pushed me out and I landed in a mucky mess, surrounded by panicked, squealing pigs.

I was sixteen now and staring to a mirror, half clothed, and wondering why my thighs looked like zebra legs.

During my first driving lesson, I backed the car into my dad’s van. He yelled. I cried. He took me out for icecream and taught me to parallel park.

I graduated. Got my license. I tried getting a job. And then I came here, and brief glimpses of my failed dates and job interviews flashed before me for mere seconds. I was walking down the street; I heard the voices in the alleyway. I saw it all play out again.

And then it was over.

A wave of exhaustion slammed into me, and my knees threatened to buckle under my weight.

“She saw everything,” said the man.

Wait, had he been reading my mind? Oh no. He’d seen everything. Even my zebra thighs.

Maybe being killed by alien mobsters wasn’t so bad after all.

“Then it must die,” said the monster with the weapon. I was about to ask what ‘it’, was, but then he raised the blade over my head. Oh. I was ‘it’. You know what? Never mind. This was much worse than my thighs.

“Whoa!” I tried to back up, but Trench Coat there still had a hold of my arm. “Can’t you just, like, wipe my memory or something?”

They all stopped.

“What?” asked the man. I glanced between him and the monsters. Maybe I was getting somewhere.

“Uh, y-you know. Like in Men in Black? If you can read my mind, you should be able to wipe—”

My voice cut off in a squeal as the monster swung his weapon towards me. I raised my free arm to protect my face, but the man shoved me behind him.

“Are you so thick as to think that her death would go unnoticed?” he growled. “I have no interest in alerting the entire city to my whereabouts.” He looked back at me, his gaze hard. “You won’t say a word, will you?”

Words came tumbling out of my mouth. “Tell them what? I didn’t see anything. Who are you again?”

“And if you do,” he leaned closer to me, so close that I could feel the heat of his breath on my face. He wasn’t as tall as the monsters, but he still towered over me. And he needed a mint. “I may not be as merciful as I am now.”

I gulped, but I nodded frantically. I hardly knew what he was saying except that he was promising not to kill me. And right now, that was all I cared about.

He shoved me away, and I stumbled before starting to hurry down the alley. I was almost around the corner when I glanced back at them again, just to see if they were about to jump me.

The lead monster was now raising his weapon behind the Trench Coat man, who was staring me down with a horrible scowl. He didn’t even realize what was happening.

“Look out!”

I was too late. The blade struck through his back and out through his stomach, splattering blood across the pavement. I wanted to scream, but all I could do was cover my mouth as the man gasped and fell to the ground. The monsters looked to me. Uh-oh.

Turning on my heel, I started booking it in the opposite direction. Something cracked like lightning, and a blast of cold energy crashed into me from behind and sent me sprawling onto the pavement. A freezing-cold hand gripped my ankle and dragged me back into the alley.

I clawed at the ground and screamed, but the hand hoisted me right off the ground. It was one of the monsters. He sneered at me and raised his weapon again, his frozen fingers burning my skin like boiling water.

With my free foot, I managed to kick him in the face. Let me tell you: A high-heel to the face is nothing to laugh about, even if you’re an eight-foot giant and I’m a relatively small (uh, short) woman. The monster howled and dropped me, and I hit the ground with what I imagined was a splat. The shock from the impact had me choking, but I somehow managed to scramble away.

His arms swiped at me, but I dodged and dove between the shadows. I lost my shoes, tore my dress, and my hair was unpinned and flying around my face as I desperately avoided his weapon and hands.

I rolled out of the way of his blade. This time, it collided with the stone so hard that it shattered on impact. The monster roared in pain, and I ran down the dark side of the alley to hide.

A blue glow bathed the world around me. I ducked down behind a trash can and peered around to see what was happening. The man was hunched over and holding onto his stomach, but he clutched that blue cube thing in his hand.

The monsters hesitated, but then the one nearest to him went to club him over the head. The man ducked to the side, and energy cracked around the alley, momentarily freezing the giants—and me—in place.

The best I could describe it as was like two magnets repelling each other. I felt a crushing weight, but I couldn’t move at all. I could barely breathe, and blue light swirled around the alley like Disney fairy magic or something.

Then the man cried out in pain, clutching at his wound. The energy cut out, releasing the lot of us. The nearest monster backhanded the guy across the alley, and he crashed into the privacy wall. The cube slid across the ground and landed a few feet away from me. Both monsters advanced.

What was I supposed to do? That cube was obviously really powerful, and these guys were clearly like, well, villains. I couldn’t just let them have it!

And so I dove for it. I threw myself out from behind the trashcan and grabbed the cube in my bare hands.

“No!” screamed the man, but it was too late. Energy surged through my veins. Pain tore through my every nerve, but my mind was spasming. I couldn’t let go. It wouldn’t let me! I could feel the power holing up in my arms, but I couldn’t do anything to stop—

BOOM. The energy in the cube exploded, sending the monsters, the man, me, a ton of trashcans, and a tomcat sailing through the air. My body slammed against the wall, and before I ever hit the ground, I was out cold.

#loki #loki fanfic #loki fic #loki fiction #loki mcu #oc #loki x oc

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ittybittytatertot · 5 years

Note

M’gann trying to be “hip and cool” and use slang to attempt to impress the freshies.

The problem with this is I don’t know the hip slang or fresh memes…but I shall persevere nonetheless (I hope you like it!) I’d also like to thank @meanpear for explaining what vibe check meant, I hope I used it correctly.

This was Vic’s fault. The hero was the one who openly mocked Condiment King on twitter.

This was Virgil and Jaime’s fault. They were the ones bringing the latest slang and memes to the Team.

This was Bart and Cassie’s fault. They were the ones who started competing over who could get “tiktok famous” first.

Really, this was Traci’s fault for accidentally geotagging her selfies with the team during their group hang, and Garfield’s fault to sharing the photos to tease Violet, Forager, and Tara for having to be in school while everyone else was hanging out.

Ed would take no blame for this situation, thank you, even if he did laugh when Bart shouted “YEET!” when he took one of Condiment King’s gauntlets and threw it as hard as he could.

Jaime had the bright idea to blast the condiment-cannon with one of his own cannons, resulting in an explosion of sauce that covered most of the team. Cassie looked down at her ruined shirt before looking over to Virgil and saying,

“So I’m sitting there, barbeque sauce on my tiddies.”

Virgil doubled over with how hard he laughed at the reference. Garfield glared at his friends.

“Guys, quit fooling around!”

Vic rolled his eyes, “Just because you got hurt by this clown doesn’t me-” He was cut off when a hot sauce bomb exploded in front of him, sending him flying backwards a good ten feet. He landed on his back with a grunt and Traci had to cover her mouth to keep from laughing too hard.

“Looks like karma’s got a kiss for yo-” Garfield started to say before a jet of mustard hurtled him to ground beside Cyborg.

“Garfield!” A familiar voice yelled, and Beast Boy looked up to see his sister running up to them.

“M‘gann? What are you doing here?” He asked as M’gann helped Vic and Gar up off the ground.

“I wanted to see my little brother.” She checked him over for damages, “Are you okay? What’s going on?”

“I’m fine. Condiment King crashed our party.”

“And not the good kind of crash.” Vic added.

“Noted.” M’gann said, looking to where the rest of the team still battling Condiment King. Horrifyingly, he was winning because the teen heroes were too distracted singing some kind of Minecraft song to pay attention to the actual fight.

Garfield was expecting M’gann to put her forehead in her hands or even at least sigh at her former team’s incompetency, but instead she let go of his arm and shifted into her Miss Martian form. She was much more cavalier these days about when and where she transformed.

“Hey Condiment King!” M’gann called, and the rest of the team paused their fighting to watch as M’gann calmly approached the villain.

He looked up at the unfamiliar hero, but was given no time to respond as Miss Martian raised her hand and said,

“Vibe check.”

Before telekinetically yeeting Condiment King across the street, his various condiment weapons tearing off his costume as he arced over the people and cars. He landed in a fountain, much to the annoyance of a few ducks who had been lounging there.

M’gann looked around at the teens staring at her, “Did I use that right?”

The team screamed in delight, throwing their hands in the air and jumping in excitement over the ridiculousness of what they just witnessed. Someone yelled, “Please tell me you got that on camera!”

Later that week, M’gann found out from one of her students at Happy Harbor High that “Miss Martian vibe checks Condiment King” was a viral video. She forwarded it to Gar, asking if this meant she was cool now.

#young justice #m'gann m'orzz #garfield logan #condiment king #ficlet #tony-the-mage

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