#even when i’m actively saying the opposite of what they think i’m lying about?? like ‘ur pretending to be poor!!!’ but never were they able | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

k-n0-x · 2 months

Text

༺ ♱✮♱ ¨:·Something Stupid-Chapter 3·:¨ ♱✮♱ ༻

A/N: Hii everyone! Sorry this chapter is a little later than usual, burnout happened, school happened, the whole shebang! This chapter is a doozy though, hope you all will love it <3

Playlist:

Navigation

Enjoy<3

꧁🥀☽💫✶♛🦢♕✶💫☾🥀꧂

The sun rays peek through your window and the birds’ chirps awake you from your slumber.

Or maybe it’s the snoring of a drowsy Adam, who was lying beside you, though you’ve inured yourself to his unconscious noises for ages.

You get up from your bed, just to almost have your legs give way under you, thanks to the fact that you had to be pounded by your husband, as you promised to him.

Last night felt like a chore. You feel really bad for thinking it, but it really did.

You’re not an expert, but sex should feel enjoyable, by all sides involved, but with Adam, it feels like an obligatory activity.

You spend the next 25 minutes brushing your teeth, showering and getting ready for the day. Since there’s nothing to do at home (well, there’s nothing to do at home) you decide that this is a good time to be productive.

You head into the kitchen and scrutinise each and every ingredient that graces your pantry.

“Hmm, maybe this would work…” You grab flour, eggs, milk and a frying pan…

꧁ꕥ❂♕☻☹☻♕❂ꕥ❂♕☻☹☻♕❂ꕥ❂♕☻☹☻♕❂ꕥ❂♕☻☹☻♕❂ꕥ꧂

The smell of buttery pancakes drifts throughout the kitchen. You sit down in your chair and take a bite of your breakfast.

The pancakes themselves were lovely; the consistency was just right and the flavour was something to die again for, courtesy of Heaven’s always perfect ingredients.

Heaven….

‘Perfect’ Heaven.

Up until a few weeks ago, you would have believed that sentimental saying that you hear being thrown around on multiple occasions, but now, those words seem like direct opposites of each other, an oxymoron even.

The mere thought of it sets an uneasy feeling in your stomach.

You shakily finish one pancake, and neatly leave the rest in the microwave.

You have more pressing matters to get on about today, and pancakes aren’t one of them, though you want it to be.

꧁ꕥ❂♕☻☹☻♕❂ꕥ❂♕☻☹☻♕❂ꕥ❂♕☻☹☻♕❂ꕥ❂♕☻☹☻♕❂ꕥ꧂

“Welcome to Heaven, how can I help?” The Saint looks up from his logbook with a face coloured with surprise when he recognises you.

“Y/N! How’ve ya been?”

“I’m doing good,” you smile up at the angel behind the pedestal.

“So, what can I do for the wonderful wife of Adam, hm?” St. Peter clicks his tongue and finger guns.

“Well, Peter, is there a chance you could show me the list of Heaven’s recent residents? There’s a certain person I’m looking for…” Realisation hits you like a truck. Would this information be classified? You wouldn’t know until-

“Yeah sure, here!” The Saint passes you a page with written names and dates.

“This is a list of Heaven’s newest angels from up to a month ago. I hope you find who you’re looking for!”

“Thanks Pete, you’re a Saint,”

“Well, I am Saint Peter after all, ah bye-bye!”

Well that was easier than anticipated.

Now you need a private place to mull it over…

You walk through the brightly lit heavenly streets and bump into someone, sending you and your papers flying.

“Oh my, misss, I am ssssso ssssorry,” The person bends down to collect the papers.

“No, no it’s fine, sorry-” your voice gets stuck in your throat. You take a close look at the person collecting your papers.

The person, or, you should say snake, was sporting a smart coat, top hat, and eyes in his hair?

He was familiar. Where have you seen him before?

Your eyes dilate in recognition.

He was pixel perfect to the mural that Charlie showed you the other day.

“Excuse me for asking, but are you Sir Pentious?”

The snake demon, or angel, looks around before leaning in.

“Depends on who’sssss asssking,”

“Oh uh,” you think for a moment. How do you explain that you know he was a demon, without seeming like a stalker of sorts.

Clearly, this isn’t the subject to have casually in the street.

“Here, let me explain over tea and cookies, hm? My treat!” You grab the hand of Pentious gently and head to the nearest café.

꧁ꕥ❂♕☻☹☻♕❂ꕥ❂♕☻☹☻♕❂ꕥ❂♕☻☹☻♕❂ꕥ❂♕☻☹☻♕❂ꕥ꧂

“And ssso, thisss Adam guy just sssnapped me out of existence, and now I’m here, but without my egg boisss,” Pentious explains while indulging himself with a Pain un Chocolat, eyes welling while doing so.

“Huh, I see. So Charlie’s plan does work,” you mumble to yourself. “And I apologise for my husband, by the way,”

The snake pales, his skin now ashy. “He’ssss, your husssband?” he instinctively pushes away from you in his seat.

“Yes, but don’t worry, I’m not going to hurt you. I just promised Charlie that I would help her with the hotel and redemption and all that…”

“Oh I sssee. Here’ss my card if you need anything more,” He produces a card and hands it to you, and you accept it graciously, despite it having a slimy residue on it.

“Great! I have to go now but it was nice meeting you,” you shake his hand and leave the café.

꧁ꕥ❂♕☻☹☻♕❂ꕥ❂♕☻☹☻♕❂ꕥ❂♕☻☹☻♕❂ꕥ❂♕☻☹☻♕❂ꕥ꧂

“So, what’s it like having sex with the first man? What are your orgasms like?”

“Angel, don’t torment the poor girl,”

“Whaat? Just askin’” Angel groans and puts his phone on the countertop of the bar.

Apparently, Charlie has gone AWOL, along with Vaggie and Lucifer, the three people that deserve to be the first people aware of the gratifying information you are holding.

This tension is getting you antsy, but you answer your newfound bestie’s question.

“Overrated to be honest. Not meaningful in the slightest,” Your blunt answer stuns Angel and Husk for a moment.

“What’s this about orgasms?” You turn back to the entrance of the hotel.

Shit.

The one person whom you didn’t want to hear you say that, was standing in front of you, holding about 10 shopping bags, his daughter and his daughter’s partner following suit.

God, what must he think? You want to slam your head into the table, but you refrain yourself.

“Uh Dad?” Charlie taps her dad’s shoulder.

“Maybe let’s refrain from talking your way into the sex life of guests? Anyway, how are you, Y/N? I hope everything’s alright?” Charlie inadvertently snapping you out of your apparent embarrassment.

“Oh yes! Not just alright; absolutely amazing actually. I have important information to tell you so forgive me for my impromptu visit, but it clearly cannot wait,” you practically jump out of your chair, bursting with energy.

My, you haven’t felt this emotion since…

Well, let’s not get ahead of ourselves.

“Well, I did some digging and…” you grab the crusted card from your bag.

“Well, congratulations to you, Miss Charlie Morningstar, Princess of Hell, because your dream is a reality!” You flourish the card to Charlie, and she takes it.

She blinks.

Everyone else blinks.

“Uh, what is this exactly?”

You groan. Fun police much?

“Sinners can be redeemed, I found Sir Pentious in Heaven just this morning,” you concede, impatiently tapping the card.

“Wait really? You aren’t just messing with me?” Charlie’s eyes practically shone with stars.

“Angels aren’t known for that darling.”

As soon as you say that Charlie squeals and jumps up and down, ecstatic.

“Thankyouthankyouthankyooouuuuuu!” She gushes and hugs you extremely tight, constraining your lungs, but you really don’t care.

“This is a pleasant surprise,” You pull away to have Alastor behind you, with that ever-so-familiar-yet-unpleasant grin.

When did he get here?

“Seems like out little Morningstar is becoming quite the entrepreneur,” Alastor places a hand on Charlie’s shoulder, as though they are father-daughter.

Father-daughter, where the daughter’s biological dad is directly beside them.

“Hey, hey now, get your slimy claws off of my daughter, would ya?” Lucifer asks the Radio demon, half laughing.

“Oh? The same daughter you’ve abandoned for countless years on end? The same daughter who had to build this establishment by herself, with no support. The same daughter I’ve been faithful to, in comparison to you? I’ve stuck through thick and thin with her. Hell, I probably fit the Dad position by definition,”

The room is loud with silence; you could probably hear a pin drop.

Alastor’s voice carries those words in a seemingly defensive manner, but you can tell that those words don’t hold any meaning to him.

It seems like you’re the only person to realise that, because with the slam of a door, Lucifer exits the room, leaving an aura of pure anger and jealousy behind.

“Dad!”

“Charlie, maybe you should give him a breath of fresh air-” Vaggie tries pulling her back.

“No! Vaggie, he needs someone to be there with him. God knows what he will do and what if-” Charlie is in a craze to get to the door.

“I’ll go,” you say abruptly. Without question, you go through the door.

꧁ꕥ❂♕☻☹☻♕❂ꕥ❂♕☻☹☻♕❂ꕥ❂♕☻☹☻♕❂ꕥ❂♕☻☹☻♕❂ꕥ꧂

“Hey, it’s really hot out here, you know,” you stand at the garden door, as the king gazes out on Hell’s not-so-perfect landscape depressingly.

Silence.

“Alastor was just pulling your leg back there, he just wanted to piss you off,” you stand beside him, keeping an appropriate distance.

“I know. That’s not the problem. The problem is that-” his voice hitches.

“Go on,”

“The problem is, is the fact he’s not even wrong; I left Charlie with nothing, she had to support herself before help came along, I barely was there for her throughout all of this, until the very last moment, when she didn’t even need me anymore,” The King of Hell rambles, and fidgets with a small yellow thing in his hand. A bird of some sorts.

A duck?

“I can’t do anything right,” he continues.

Okay, you have to stop getting sidetracked by meagre things.

“Lucifer, listen. Yes, you may not have been there for her before, but you’re here now, and you are ready to help. Yes, I know it’s scary, yes I know it’s hard, but I have an inkling that Charlie would love to start having a bond with her father again. Also, you know her and how she is; she isn’t the type to shut you out. Just try to put some work into it, okay?”

That felt like more of a ramble, than advice, but it seems to suffice for the King of Hell.

“Thank you. I really know why Charlie has taken a liking to you…” he trails off, continuing to fidget with the rubber duck. He squeezes it, and it plays a short, spunky tune.

“And see? Atleast you’re doing something small for now, you should take it easy. By the way, that’s the most adorable rubber duck!” You gush at the plastic fellow, earning a smirk from Lucifer.

“Oh? Changing the subject are we?” The fallen angel teases.

Well, that was out of nowhere, but you just go with the flow.

“Yeah, and what? That’s a fuckin’ cool duck, so I apologise for acknowledging that fact,”

“Ah well, I have better. By the way, why are you talking about orgasms to that porn star- I mean Angel, back there?”

Oh yeah. That happened.

“Gee, why does everyone want to know the juicy details of my life? But really,he was just interested in my sex life, that’s all,”

“Interesting. You know I slept with 2 of Adam’s previous wives?”

“Don’t even try,” you give him a playful shove.

“Eh, worth a shot,”

꧁ꕥ❂♕☻☹☻♕❂ꕥ❂♕☻☹☻♕❂ꕥ❂♕☻☹☻♕❂ꕥ❂♕☻☹☻♕❂ꕥ꧂

You and the blond-haired demon go back inside, giggling about some disastrous function you went to when you were younger, and how you may or may not have been the leading cause.

Thankfully, the only person in the lobby was Charlie, who jumped to hug her father the second she saw the two of you, making them both cry and profusely apologise to one another.

Yeah, maybe it’s a good time to go. Maybe quietly too this time.

You open the portal, and you are back in Heaven again, in front of the pearly gates of the place you call home.

As you open the door and turn into the living room, you nearly jump out of your skin.

“Hey,” The sound of your husband’s voice rings through your ears.

“I ate your pancakes from this morning,”

“Alright. I’ll make dinner soon, but I’m tired right now,” you pave your way to your bedroom, when Adam pulls you back.

“Where were you even?”

“Places,” you try to pull away, but the First Man doesn’t relent.

“Where? You weren’t in Heaven, were you?”

“Alright fine. I was in Hell, cleaning up the mess you and your little play soldiers made by the way,”

“Were you not there the other day? Why are you so attached to this-” Cogs turn in Adam’s head.

“You were with him, weren’t you? You fucking slut,” Adam’s hand swiftly slaps you across the face. A small cut of golden blood streaks down your face.

“What the fuck? Of course Lucifer is gonna be there, you dumbass?! Why do you think I’m gonna sleep with-” You dodge a flying porcelain jug that was headed in your general direction.

“That fucking demon, thinking he’s hot shit and- and all, just fucking whoever he wants-” The Angel starts storming around the living room, just throwing random shit about, like a kid having a tantrum, making colourful insults while doing so.

You sigh and go into the kitchen to make dinner; hopefully Adam would have blown off enough steam by then.

“Oh and- You better not go back there again, you got it?”

“…Fine,” You slam the door behind you.

Clearly, you have to be more furtive about your visits to the underworld.

For now, maybe you should cook some dinner, and a warm bath.

Your back really hurts.

꧁🥀☽💫✶♛🐣♕✶💫☾🥀꧂

Word count- 2264

Taglist:

@dionysusismypatrongod

129 notes · View notes

saintescuderia · 2 months

Text

welcome to the mini series of the random, mindless thoughts had by a poet disguised in an orange jumpsuit watching cars speed by all weekend. enjoy!

--- note: 5am starts, 7pm finishes. all four days. gotta love formula 1!

thursday: media day!

i want the ferrari jacket

there are school kids here?

i don’t want the ferrari jacket

$7 for a small can of red bull is THEFT

especially since they broke the cost cap

me walking through the “accredited personnel” gate and tapping my special lanyard is a CORE memory

i think my uber driver dropped me off on the opposite side of the track

*stressing about being unable to admire the sights of albert park bc i’m stress-running from the opposite end of the track to my station*

pls don’t be a dick and say i’m late - i know

how is a 5am wake up not early enough HOW?

“last year i was stationed at the corner where charles spun out.”

sole thought = 💀💀💀💀

i. fucking. love. cars.

the whole SENSORY experience of a race ffffffffffffuuuuuck

“be careful taking pictures because that security camera is on us and is straight to race control and the FIA.” is such a cool sentence to hear

a porsche gtr should not be covered with branding idc

i’m definitely going to abuse caffeine this weekend

friday: FP1 / FP2

the sun is rising over the lake as i walk on the albert park track and i’m happy to be alive

especially as i found a toilet that isn’t a port-a-loo

ah, a cafe that does good decent coffee thank GOD

am i going to pay $10 for a croissant?

i'm going to pay $10 for a croissant.

i lived in paris but this one fresh lune choc croissant has topped it all

no like there will never be another croissant experience to beat me eating a fresh pain au chocolat on a f1 circuit as the sun rises over the water with the melbourne skyline in the background

aramco engineers are walking behind me as i shit talk about f1, nice

“it is an increasingly unique experience peeing in a port-a-loo beside a formula one track as cars race by.”

120’000 is a LOT of people

how has the float not broken yet?

metro boomin has released an album as i stand before live formula one. life has PEAKED

fernando alonso is the first F1 driver i ever saw live

there is a shift in formula one as the heritage fans of motor racing are on the out as the next generation of fans absorbed in driver hype and social media takes over and we see this in how F1 has created the new US tracks and made them all into spectacles and fans are here because of it being “cool” instead of caring about cars

… maybe i should buy the redbull jacket instead?

bonus: sole thought during the pitlane walk for the marshals

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

saturday: FP3 / qualifying

the relief of thinking you’re late and then seeing someone you know HA

commentators are now contractually obligated to bring up saudi arabia every time they talk about ollie bearman

jesus they’re as bad as the f1 girlies

i have to watch the grand prix replay after all of this i have no idea what’s actually going on

CHARLES GOES FASTER THAN MAX HA

kimi spinning out has me actively wanting to cry

a safety car FROM THE PIT EXIT

welcome to F2 everyone 👏👏👏

not me lying to the cute irish guy hitting on me about @saintescuderia

a big fat ha at the eshays holding their puffer jackets - even they can’t stand the heat

don’t flex on me that you’re here at F1 when you don’t even know what’s going on yourself bruhhhh

to the red bull fan telling me i’m “dramatic” for rolling under the fence (it’s how marshals have to do it) pls get help

$7 for a calispo is a JOKE

recording F1 quali isn’t even worth it bc they're TOO FAST

JOKES I GOT A PHOTO WITH ALBONO

i’m very lucky for my team of marshals :))))))))))

i’m only going to eat half my muffin

*finishes the whole thing*

sunday: race!

KIMI ANTONELLI!

do i ask for a photo?

*every photo of charles leclerc being abused flashes through my mind*

nah leave him be

five minutes later: i regret not asking him

the group of aussies dressed as lance stroll drunk at 9am have my heart and my respect

i need a coffee

seeing kimi walk right by me has now made so much invested for f2

i really need a coffee

yep they screwed kimi with all those safety cars

i really, really need a coffee

we get to go ON TRACK? for the DRIVERS PARADE

*starts practicing “get well soon” in spanish*

my heart is BEATING

lol jokes carlos didn’t even look at us

*checks footage to see that i accidentally just recorded guanyu zhou next to carlos the whole time :))))*

lol are they putting lewis and charles together all the time?

every marshal: “that was the shittest parade ever.”

i need a drink

pls don’t talk to me for the next two hours

don't meet your heroes kids

but also why the fuck did they do the float in one big car? and do INTERVIEWS? this is legit the one time the drivers can be there JUST for the FANS

F1 can PISS OFF

race start = okay it's happening

waitwaitwaitwaitWAITDIDIJUSTSEECARLOSOVERTAKEMAX?!

nevermind i love him

"race control has asked that you calm down, marshals are supposed to be neutral."

lol at the entirety of albert cheering that max is slowly coming to a DNF

mclaren swapping oscar for lando is DISGUSTING fuck zak brown

somehow, i've forgotten that charles is just there

SEND IT CARLOS VAmos

(this is all because i told you que te mejores pronto!)

daniel ricciardo....man..... aus gp can't market you like this.......

damn yuki got HANDS

ferrari and mclaren having the top 4 places is just *chefs kiss*

lewis just had to stall just pass my sector like i hope ur okay but couldn't u not be ok in front of me?

red bull deserves this after all the FLACK i've copped from red bulls fans ("dramatic" MY ASS)

wait george russell ARE YOU SERIOUS?!

singapore all over again. i can already see the memes.

somehow marshalling a gp has you closer and more removed from the whole thing i have no idea what's going on

(literally the only time i used my F1TV live timing)

finishing after the safety car means i can't stick my head out and clap for carlos FUCK OFF

wait, he came up right UP TO MY SIDE OF THE TRACK TO WAVE

... do you think he noticed me?

83 notes · View notes

inuiiwonderland · 5 days

Text

I’m sorry….

A/n: Take this as an apology for me not being active on here😔

Word:678

Warnings: mentions of toxic relationships, slight hint of abuse, and angst (tell me if I forgot anything!)

Mitsuya x fem reader

Another knock on the door caused you to sigh as you got up from your bed to go answer it.

Walking down the stairs you could feel your heart pound with every step you took, knowing who is behind that door in the late hours of the night. You finally made it to the door, taking a deep breath and opening it to see your best friend. Mitsuya.

"Y/n…" You could see the dried up tears and how puffy his eyes were. Probably from all the crying he did before coming to your place.

"Just come in" You said as you stepped aside for him to enter your home. He quietly did as you said and walked in. You closed the door and walked to the living room where he was.

"So what happened this time?" He let out a sigh and sat down on the couch.

"She said I wasn't giving her much attention. I already told her how packed my schedule is because of the next fashion show for next month. But then she started saying how I'm lying and that I just don't want to spend time with her." You sat quietly on the opposite end of the couch as you listened.

"She also said that I don't love her anymore and that I'm losing feelings, which I'm not because I truly love her!" Your heart aches hearing those words but you tried not to show it.

"Last night she went out and emma sent me a picture of her going to a hotel with some guy. I confronted her about it today which caused an argument about me not having any trust in her. And I trust her! But then she said that she was going to break up with me because I'm always busy.." Your heart broke seeing him all stressed and scared of losing the one girl he loves. It wasn't anything new for Mitsuya to run to you every week after a fight with his girlfriend. You started growing used to it as time went by, but it made you even more sad and annoyed seeing him still be with her after everything that she has put him through.

You noticed earlier on that the relationship those two have wasn't healthy. More like toxic. She loves to control, lie and use him for almost everything. Even after he caught her cheating one time he still forgave her and stayed by her side. Which caught you off guard since you didn't expect that from him.

But what could you do? He has been in love with her since high school and was thrilled when she accepted his confession on graduation day. Which caused you to cry that night.

"Mitsuya…this isn't normal you know, she has put you through a lot and caused you so much stress! She cheated on you multiple times so why?! Why are you still hurting yourself like this?”

The boy stayed silent. His hands were shaking and he closed his eyes as he looked away.

“Y/n…she’s my girlfriend. The love of my life and I think people deserve second-“

“Bullshit. She already cheated on you gods know how much and lied to you on multiple occasions! Hell she even put her hands on you mitsuya! That’s not love takashi…”

“But…I know…I know she’s going to change. She’ll stop”

No she won’t

“Takashi…”

“I-“ He was cut off by the sound of his phone going off. Text after text and soon a call made Mitsuya stand up as he grabbed his phone.

“It’s her” He says. As he was about to accept the call, you gently took a hold of his hand.

“Mitsuya…” You pleaded.

“This isn’t Healthy and you know it. You can’t continue staying with her. So please…don’t” The phone continued ringing as his phone blew up with texts. His eyes went from the phone to you and then to his phone before finally going back to you.

“M’sorry…”

Your heart shattered as he picked up the phone and made his way towards the door.

This was an old draft from last year😭 so sorry if it’s ooc😓

#inuiiwonderland🤍#tokyo revengers x reader #tokyo revengers angst #tokyo revengers mitsuya #mitsuya takashi x reader #mitsuya x reader #mitsuya takashi #tr mitsuya #tokyo revengers #tokyorev x reader #mitsuya angst

36 notes · View notes

chalicedefinite · 3 months

Note

I have been on this tag since day one and the majority of the posts and blogs I've seen adore Louis. Pointing out canonical traits like him actively lying in Canon books and now the show as well is not being hateful or disrespectful. Saying episode 5 and the whole tale infact being revisited is Not fans of lestat being apologists. It is what Anne Rice canonically did with the Vampire Lestat and the books that followed. Louis is loved widely in this tag. Lestat is being hated on as a result of the villainous portrayal in season 1 which again Canonically is a tale (not a true one) being told both in books and in the show. A lot of people however took it too far with the lestat hate and started calling anyone who liked him names and then people starting to fight back and the rest is how we got to here. If there is no understanding to fans of both characters the two most loved characters in the show -who at the end of the series canonically end up together- then what the hell is the point of being in this Fandom in the first place? Please don't take this as a personal attack it wasn't meant as one but as another person's experience and thoughts of the fandom so far.

I’m going to be honest I find this very hard to believe that it was only just about liking Lestat.

I’ve gotten more hate and vitriol from Lestat fans ever since I’ve joined this fandom. I’ve never talked bad about his character and I make it very clear on my blog that I love him and that he’s my favorite character both in the show and in the books. And yet, because I calmly engaged with a popular blog’s theory about episode 5; everyday I wake up to hate in my inbox that I have to delete. Lestat fans have been nothing but disrespectful to me for no reason.

Im a Lestat fan myself and I talk about how much I love him all the time it seems and I haven’t been once called a racist. I’ve had anons accusing me of hating Lestat but never ones accusing me of racism. This is the second time someone has told me that Lestat fans are bullied for liking him when all I’ve seen and experienced thus far is the exact opposite which begs the question: Is it really because you like Lestat or is it something deeper that other people picked up on but not you yourself? 3. How is anyone’s rational response as a human to someone calling them racist for liking Lestat is to deny the systemic oppression of black people? This is the main thing that doesn’t make a lick of sense to me. How did we go from, “Users were attacked for liking Lestat” to “So a bunch of blogs are now starting to agree with and talk about how reverse racism is real.” I’ve gotten attacked for liking characters before and my reaction to that is blocking whoever is causing trouble and ignoring them. I got harassed to hell and back in the Voltron fandom for defending and liking Allura and never at any point was I thinking about how affirmative action is the real systematic evil plaguing society. If this kind of thinking was always in the back of certain people’s head as they were analyzing the show then it’s safe to say that people weren’t mad at them just because they liked Lestat. You can not properly analyze a show where a black man talks about how he was systematically oppressed for being black when you don’t even believe in systemic oppression yourself. How can you sit down and watch this show where Louis is constantly being put down by the white people around him, where he has to pretend to be his husband’s chauffeur, where you see white people burning a black neighborhood, where Louis and Claudia cant even sit next to Lestat and have to sit at the back of the bus and come out of it thinking that reverse racism exists in our society? Louis is the age of a lot of black people’s great grandfather, what he went through was not that long ago and the society he lives is still alive today.

4. What purpose would it serve narratively to have Louis and Claudia lie about episode 5? I’m leaving this question here because the last time I tried to have this discussion it led to anons hounding me.

#Ask #interview with the vampire #iwtv

31 notes · View notes

classpect-navelgazing · 2 years

Note

do you have an analysis where you talk about why you disagree with what canon has to say about classpects anywhere? i looked but tumble isn’t exactly the greatest at searching for stuff. i’m just curious to know what the issues are with what was said in canon

Sure. Though I don't know if I'd say I "disagree with canon" so much as I think the more someone tries to give us a straight up, clean answer on it, they're probably an unreliable source. My source is canon, but more holistically.

For me I think this started two places. First: I just..... don't really buy the idea of Pages being the Slow Burn class. I never bought it, honestly? As soon as I figured out how Jake English manages people and their expectations of him to get what he wants, it threw into question the whole concept of the class. Because Jake is the second most emotionally intelligent character in HS after Karkat, but he uses it for himself rather selfishly instead of for a greater cause. When Jake subtly or subconsciously tries to bend the story to his will, he's remarkably effective.

So, of course, I looked at Tavros. What does Tavros Nitram want? Well, he wants to have fun, to progress at his own pace, and to kind of do his own thing. I found it very interesting how the people around him sort of bent to what he wanted. No one stopped Tavros from dreaming on Prospit. He didn't do anything to get those mechanical legs, which he textually wanted, other folks took care of that for him. No one really stopped Tavros from playing the game (both FLARP and SGRUB) the way he wanted to. Aradia enables his allegedly bad class choice, Karkat orders Vriska to save his life, and when Vriska wants to force Tavros to play her way, Kanaya interferes. It's all very cohesive to me in a way that I genuinely do not know if the creator intended, but the pattern is absolutely there.

So, whoop, Pages Are A Slow Burn gets tossed into the garbage where it belongs.

The other one that really made me go "huh" is Calliope's Active/Passive thing. From the moment I read it the first time, I was like "i'm........ not sure that's a thing" and on every subsequent reread and relisten, I became even more certain she's just theorycrafting and its not borne out in the actual text. Which, frankly, fits into Calliope's whole thing of being a proxy for fans, particularly their speculation. She outright says to Dirk she gets carried away with her theorizing.

Like... for me its the Prince thing. I flat out don't think Princes are "The Most Active Class," at all, full stop. The idea is kind of silly to me. Eridan wasn't fucking Super Active, he just became extremely potent when he finally went off. And Dirk, similarly, is the king of Hurry Up And Wait. When shit pops off, he acts with incredible effectiveness, but the rest of the time he's zoning the fuck out, white lying about how cool he is, and fishing.

Same with Seers on the opposite end. Am I meant to take seriously the idea that Rose Lalonde and Terezi fucking Pyrope are the most passive class, nah. No sell. I literally and actually think I could make a better argument that Witches are more passive than Seers.

And then I just... don't agree with Calliope's verbiage of the classes. Dirk was not a destroyer of heart/soul, his most dramatic and effective moments in the story are harnessing his aspect, and in the conversation where Calliope tells Roxy her verbiage, even she says its a little esoteric and hard to grasp.

Calliope's trying to apply very firm wording and delineation to something that Terezi much earlier calls a "hyperflexible mythology." That reading of classpect frankly bears out a lot more, imo.

Which just led me to the conclusion that: all the stuff Calliope says, its her opinion. What I am interested in is action. What do these people do, what do they think of their aspect, how does it manifest.

My conclusion was basically: fuck passive/active, this is all about your role in the narrative. Which, in my opinion, fits very well into the two ways HS is structured: as a video game (the vernacular, the commands, the literalization of abstractions like inventory and leveling up), and as a stage play (the acts, the curtains, the intermissions).

#chromaticroses #ask arc #hs meta #homestuck

213 notes · View notes

wondersofspite · 2 years

Text

What makes me tenfold depressed of the current episode is another loss of potential. I haven’t watched it- even afraid at this point - but by reading other critics' comments, it seems like another episode wiping the bird dad’s ass.

If the writers actually explored Loona’s and Octavia’s conversation instead of using it to polish up Stolas’s (very much immature) parenting, they could actually expand on lots of things. Not many, certainly not the entire pacing and sloppy flaws, but at least, something.

Like. Look.

Octavia is a royal born and Loona grew up in abusive pseudo-dog care. Octavia has a father who is willing to spend and pamper her but does not truly try to listen to her, while Loona’s dad is very much willing but lives an incredibly poor status. Loona lived most of her childhood in an environment that deprived her of basic needs while Octavia ate on silver plate. Loona is literally a glorified pet and Octavia is an heir to a throne.

The potential, dude. The potential.

Imagine. This could have humanized both Loona's and Octavia’s situations. Share both their thoughts and feeling about the situation. Now, I’m going to go down some speculative routes and write up what else they could have shown with the scene.

Say, what if Octavia didn’t know that Loona was the daughter of Blitzo, and vented all the misery and pressure she is feeling cause her dad changed overnight “just for some imp”? Have Loona react to this with guilt, a bit of horror, and pity while as well some equal part of envy, bitterness and defensive protection. Where while she tries to console Octavia, now instead of praising the owl pervert, she indirectly defends her dad. Have her show that to some extent, she cares about Blitzo.

And with this, I think it would also be a nice reminder of the social difference between races. Perhaps, say, those two get into an argument cause Loona defended the guy who very much ruined Octavia’s household and her family. While she is much justified in her anger, Loona snaps back with something that stuns her.

“Who to say your own goddamn father didn’t force himself on the imp?”

Cause so far, none of the IMP crew talks about Stolas’s harassment. Despite him literally doing it publicly, more than once, Blitzo’s discomfort with it is louder than that is. Let that be to some extent why she kinda hates working: Not the fact that she has to work, but working on something that actively prospers from something Blitzo hates doing.

This could even be a sudden bomb for Octavia, who likely didn’t think (more or less, realize) that her dad, a royal, having affair with a less socially powerful figure could imply in context.

Heck, this could go in the total opposite direction where Loona actively tries to manipulate her.

Where that while yes, the IMP business fosters Blitzo’s suffering, it’s also something he wanted to do. Dreamed of. And main of all: She’s scared that once Blitzo can’t afford to keep her, she’ll be kicked to the streets. Have a little montage where right before she opens her mouth to call out how shit Stolas is, she slowly shuts it, then moves to look down the street. Have her look at, say, a stray dog, who’s following and desperately yelping at the feet of someone, till they are kicked away. Of bankrupt businesses begin shut down, of life on the street, of life as a discriminated group. I am far from a clever environment storyteller, and this is much trickier to do on paper than simply write it, but to point, some metaphor that shows her anxiety about her and Blitzo's future living conditions.

And when Octavia asks her what’s wrong, have her take a deep breath before saying the lines she said in the episode.

“...Your dad is trying his best.”

But make her actively look sick saying it, that she’s lying, that she very much thinks the opposite. But she lies: Cause what else can she do? If Octavia is given guidance in her confusion about her feeling towards her dad, she may actually direct her word right at him, whereas Stolas might actually pull back and cut his ties with Blitzo. Cut Blitzo and Loona off the only business they have.

That she’d lie to a teenage girl stuck in an abusive household for it.

Signify just how desperate they really are.

#helluva boss critical #Once again writers not giving a second thought to the female cast's complexity #Or other themes they have.#Reasons why i absolutely despise how they went from worldbuilding to melodrama.#All previous themes they had just vanished. Only reappaer when convenient #rewrite.

135 notes · View notes

gunsandspaceships · 4 months

Text

Review of some anti-Tony comments from Ao3. Part 6

Let’s talk more about things from Part 1 today:

“Tony was actively attacking someone from behind, who was just trying to leave.”

Eh? So how did that happen that he only attacked from behind ONCE? Semi-behind, to be exact - see my post with Part 1. Why Bucky tried to leave if he was innocent? Just like he did before with T’Challa. “Why did you run?”.

I’ll add the extension of that statement here so we could figure the whole thing out: “Steve was actively defending said person in any way, even if that meant attacking Tony from behind.

And before you get on me about how I'm being hypocritical - it's been done - it isn't the action that's being criticized, it's the WHY behind the action. Tony repeatedly attacked someone from behind who was only trying to flee the scene vs Steve repeatedly attacked someone from behind to protect his best friend from being killed. That's the difference between the two. You can't hold them to the same standard when their reasons for doing the same action are complete opposites. It isn't the action; it's the reasons BEHIND the action.”

Let’s think about the most appropriate thing Bucky could do in the scene instead. Well, first he could say “I’m sorry”. That would be a good start. Doesn’t matter if he was brainwashed or not – his hands were used. “Sorry” is always good in such situations. He didn’t do that.

Instead he raised his gun at Tony and was ready to fire at his face (CA:CW 2:03:15). Yes, Tony hit Cap there. But it was for a reason. And you simply don’t point a gun at a guy who just watched his parents die by your hands, if you are innocent and truly regret this. It was so wrong to attack him that it just showed Bucky’s position “there’s nothing to explain and nothing to apologies for”, if the best thing Bucky could do is to raise his gun and run. Low and cowardly.

But we should actually take a closer look at that scene (starting from 2:02:17), because it’s even more complicated if we watch the scene frame by frame.

2:01:33 – Tony is watching the video of his parents’ death. Steve looks at him with a very interesting expression. At him, not at the video. He already knows what’s going on there. He is looking at Tony for his reaction.

2:01:38 – focus on Bucky who looks a bit regretful, looking at the floor first, but then raising his eyes to Tony.

2:01:53 – Tony hears his father saying “Sergeant Barnes” and his mother calling “Howard!”. Tony glances at Bucky.

2:02:05 – Winter Soldier hits Howard in the head and kills him. Tony’s expression tells us he is enraged.

2:02:25 – Winter Soldier kills Maria, strangling her with his biological hand.

2:02:33 – video ends with Winter Soldier shooting at the camera. Tony is in shock. Steve is looking at him, saying nothing. He had enough time to say something.

2:02:40 – Tony turns to Bucky and makes a step towards him. Not putting his helmet on. He is not attacking yet. Most probably he just wanted to grab him by his jacket and ask some questions or something like that. What Bucky does? He raised his gun at him. We can see tears in his eyes. Why did he do that then?

2:02:42 – Steve says “No, Tony. Tony”. He says that to calm him down, and that would be a good start. But then he does some “stupid-ass decisions”, how Fury would put that.

2:02:45 – Tony turns to him. He is devastated. He just realized something. “Did you know?”. Steve’s eyes are shifting rapidly, and after a long pause (when he was thinking of what to say, I guess), he says “I didn’t know it was him”. By his behavior here we can infer that he is lying. Tony sees it “Don’t bullshit, me Rogers. Did you know?”. Steve looks Tony in the eyes and swallows hard. “Yes”.

Let’s make a digression to show Steve really knew that Bucky killed Tony’s parents.

CA:WS 1:04:50 – Zola is explaining how Hydra eliminated unwanted individuals. Chronicle footage shows Bucky with a sniper rifle and then next frame with news article about Starks’ death. Zola says “Accidents will happen”. Next few frames show Howard in the car in the same position Bucky left him in the CA:CW 2:02:10 scene. Then Fury’s file is shown, “deceased” – another victim of the Winter Soldier. No need to be a genius to put two and two together. Especially when you don’t know that there were other Winter Soldiers yet. There were no other options – Steve and Nat knew that Howard was killed by Bucky from that exact moment. But let’s add more evidence, shall we?

CA:WS 2:05:28 – Natasha gives Bucky’s case files to Steve. Logic tells us that they should contain his targets. Including Howard and Maria.

CA:CW 2:15:52 – Steve’s letter says “I know I hurt you, Tony. I guess I thought by not telling you about your parents I was sparing you, but I can see now that I was really sparing myself. And I’m sorry…”

Conclusion is pretty clear, isn’t it?

Let’s get back to the pre-fight situation:

So Steve admitted that he knew who killed Tony’s parents (and his own old friend btw).

2:03:05 – Steve’s “Yes” hits Tony. Rogers is just looking at him there. No sorrow or regret in his eyes. Tony loses it.

He is the victim in this scene. He came to help and was betrayed again.

2:03:12 – he hits Rogers with back of his hand. Cap is thrown a couple of steps back.

2:03:15 - Tony puts his helmet on. Now he is going to attack.

Put yourself on his place and answer the question “wouldn’t you act the same way?”. If your answer is “nope, I wouldn’t” - try to pass a CAPTCHA, because you are most probably a robot.

Same moment – Bucky points his gun at Tony. He almost opens fire, but Tony shoots the gun with a repulsor, knocking the weapon out of Bucky's hands. Back to the beginning of this essay – why would you shoot at a victim? Tony, most probably, would just hit him couple of times using his hands, if he had not faced counter aggression.

Bucky is not running here. He wasn’t trying to run until Steve told him to at 2:04:02. He is attacking Tony. Look at his face (2:03:17). This is not the face of regret or sorrow.

#tony stark #iron man #steve rogers #captain america #captain america civil war #captain america winter soldier #bucky barnes #winter soldier #marvel #mcu

9 notes · View notes

octopusoptimusprime · 1 year

Text

mike wheeler & queercoding

aka why i believe the show has been setting him up as gay (rather than bi)

repeated disinterest in women

over the course of the show, mike has been presented as having a lack of (or exclusively performative) level of interest in women

when dustin describes suzie as ‘hotter than pheobe cates’ lucas exclaims in shock/interest, while mike rolls his eyes and seems thoroughly bored/annoyed by the conversation

the s1 scene where they dress el up and mike says ‘pretty’, but he doesn’t seem very invested in it - he could just be echoing el’s words from earlier when she sees the picture of nancy

not showing any interest in girls/dating until lucas and dustin did - feeling pressured to keep up?

his anxiety over being ‘left behind’ in a sense is shown when he argues with lucas in 0401 over lucas wanting to be popular

obviously the opposite of this is his relationship with will, where he clearly views will as the most important person in his life, but also considers himself as caring more than everyone else in will’s life - ‘i’m the only one that cares about will!’ + literally every wheelclair argument in s1

mike & homophobia

there are a few homophobic interactions/characters within the show, & while most of them are directed at will, mike always seems to have the most personal response

take troy’s comment about will in s1 - where lucas and dustin look afraid/slightly uncomfortable, mike looks downright tearful. this is understandable if he’s protecting his best friend, but makes even more sense when considering that it applies to him

while i don’t think there’s any scenes of b*lly being overtly homophobic (correct me if i’m wrong), i think he’s worth mentioning as arguably the most bigoted character in the show, & when he gets flayed in s3, a previously at odds madwheeler bond over their common dislike for him

i might be reaching here, as obviously everyone disliked him (he was flayed), i just think it’s a plausible explanation considering the comments he made about lucas, so i don’t think it's much of a reach to assume this included homophobia (of course, b*lly’s dad did call him the f-slur, so…)

relationship with el

i’ve talked about this before in my autistic mike post, so go read that one if you want more info on this specifically, but essentially i don’t believe mike likes el romantically (or ever did)

the scene where they ‘get together’ in s1 is rushed, awkward, and uncomfortable - we’re not meant to enjoy it. he was trying to ask her to move in with him, whilst implying they’d be like siblings, and then he kisses her straight after? we’re 100% meant to feel weird about this

especially considering this scene comes shortly after mike’s talks with both lucas and nancy, because they assume he has a crush on el - showing he was feeling outside pressure to reconsider their relationship and/or recontextualise it as romantic (when he clearly thought of them as sibling-like)

following on from this the consistent posing of elmike as a familial dynamic is meant to show that THAT is actually a better descriptor of their relationship - & meant to show the GA that their relationship is not romantic

the fact that the season where they spend the most time together (s3) they do. absolutely nothing but make out. something which is immediately picked up on by jopper and lumax (good, healthy ships that milkvan is often posed against) shows neither el nor mike know what they’re ‘meant’ to be doing/they’re both only participating in this to keep up appearances

they seem to like each other less and less as the seasons go on - of course in s1 at the beginning mike is only using her to get to will (otherwise he would’ve given her to his mum like he originally planned) and el latches onto him as the first person (apart from benny rip </3) she forms a connection with outside of the lab, then in s2 el is barely there, and s3 … we talked about that travesty of a relationship situation. only making out or fighting. yeah. then we get s4, they’re actively lying to each other about the most mundane things, having arguments/disagreements constantly, and do not support one another at all. i do think they have great promise as a friendship, but i think that’ll take a while because they literally don’t know each other - shown both in s3 (mike has NO idea about anything she likes when trying to buy her a gift) and in s4 (the monologue. he has virtually nothing to say about her as a person other than the fact that she has powers) this is also the first feature he brings up about her in most situations (his and dustin’s whose-girlfriend-is-the-best fight, the milkvan ILY fight)

i also think he’s holding on so tightly to a relationship that’s clearly failing because he doesn’t want to lose the stability/excuse he has in el. ie if he's in a relationship with a girl, no one will accuse him of being gay (& he doesn’t have to really face it himself? even though he knows already)

and then there’s the obvious one - he can’t be around el and will at the same time because he views them in similar ways - el as the girlfriend-but-not-really and will as the friend-but-almost-more. they’re both in that in between category, which is why mike clashes a lot with the people in his life (specifically el & will) over this

mike is emotionally cheating on el with will. he doesn’t (& never once has) turned to el for comfort, or chased her down in the rain after a fight. he’s at most looked vaguely inconvenienced by their arguments. will on the other hand is ALL of these. mike finds comfort and advice in will, especially concerning his relationship, and is significantly more impacted when will is upset with him rather than el

to this point, mike has shouted at both el and will (i’m thinking of rink o’ mania and rain fight here specifically), but after ro’m he was passive-aggressive and annoyed with el (for interrupting his fight with will? because he’s blaming her for the fact that he’s using her to replace will?) whereas after the rain fight like i said before he literally drags lucas to the byers’ house in the rain desperately to apologise

imagery/parallels

milkvan are consistently paralleled to st*ncy, aka a couple the show has made VERY clear are toxic & unhealthy. conversely byler are then paralleled to jancy, lumax, etc - the healthy, likely endgame ships

everyone’s aware of the robin/vickie/vickie’s boyfriend and mike/el/will parallel, and i know in this example will is in the same position as robin, but mike is paralleled to robin more often. even down to the composition of rockie shots vs byler shots, mike is always in robin’s position - the observer, wishing for a relationship with the other person who they believe is disinterested (vickie’s boyfriend, will’s very not real ‘painting girl’). the best one here, though, is in music. the song that plays in the scene when robin comes out to steve (‘being different’) is also the song that plays when el kisses mike at the end of s3. and both times it start off soft and then pick up when the kiss happens/robin comes out

this follows on to my next point: set decor especially re closets. that end of s3 kiss happens in front of an open closet (in a room with yellow walls), and mike has a ‘one way’ sign pointing into his closet in his s4 bedroom (which has a yellow shirt visible). i think this is pretty obvious imagery, closets and will’s colour present in ‘milkvan moments’ - in s3 obviously there’s the uncomfortable kiss, and in s4 he’s reading el’s letter - show he’s using his relationship with el as a way to hide, and his true thoughts/feelings are about will hence the presence of his colour in their scenes. also in the s3 scene he keeps his eyes open and looks visibly uncomfortable with the situation, and in s4 el is blatantly lying to him, all presenting a very flawed/untruthful relationship

this is kind of a minor one but all the posters in mike’s room are of extremely buff men - not a woman in sight lmfao

also in s4 it’s been said mike is trying to emulate eddie in his outfits, but i also believe he was being encouraged by eddie to be more himself. since (via handkerchief coding, joe quinn’s very homosexual acting, and general context clues) i believe eddie is also gay, i think mike being somewhat influenced by eddie to be more authentic is why s4 is the first season we see him really allow himself his feelings towards will. even to openly check him out in front of other people and to flirt with him

el, mike, and will as a trio are often staged as a three, with mike in the middle (classically obvious love triangle set up) but also ST adores love triangles. like. adores them. steve/nancy/jonathan, dustin/max/lucas, hopper/joyce/bob. and every single time, person A realises they don’t reciprocate (or not as much) person B’s feelings, and form a deeper more emotional connection to person C. also what love triangle ever has ever been resolved by person A staying with their original love interest??

finally, the lighting/framing of byler shots. now i know very little about filmmaking, so if you’re interested in this in depth i suggest you check out @dinitride-art ‘s excellent series of analysis posts. I do just want to point out that mike POV shots (over his shoulder) when he’s looking at will are often filled with light, will is framed beautifully, and overall they’re the most stunning shots

———

okay that’s all for now! i really enjoyed writing a long mike post again lol

btw i’d just like to say - the reason i don’t believe mike is bi is because i think it would invalidate both his and el’s storylines. the reason milkvan don’t work as a couple is because they’re not compatible in that way and also they don’t like each other romantically (or at least mike doesn’t). if he did like her, and was just deliberately inconsiderate/emotionally cheating/etc, that would just make him a mean character, and make byler endgame less satisfying if the milkvan breakup is presented as will’s fault and not the fault of mike just. not liking el like that. ofc the way they treat each other still isn’t okay, but like i said before i think without that romantic pressure, they’d have a great relationship as friends. :)

#gay mike wheeler #milkvan is bones #stranger things #byler #byler proof #mike wheeler is gay canon #mike wheeler #st s4 #mike wheeler i know what you are #byler nation

61 notes · View notes

sasukesun · 5 months

Note

Can I ask your opinions on a few things about Gojou and Getoh?

-So, is he (Gojou) really not feel anything with Amanai and Haibara's death?

-How can Gojou not realizing Getou's depression (is it because he always sent on solo missions)?

- I read somewhere that Getou's act to that village is really because Yuki's words (as if to blame her), and I was like wtf (?)

- If Getou not become a curse user, can he become like Yuki (just do what they like and not listening to the elders)?

- Do you think adult Getou can win against Toji?

- NaruSasu is like Sun and Moon, do you think SatoSugu is also Sun and Moon?

- I also read somewhere that Gojou = Naruto and Getou = Sasuke, but I kinda disagree.. (I don't think Naruto can kill Sasuke, right). What abou you?

Sorry if my ask is too long, hope you don't mind....

1. the manga doesn’t even show gojou’s reaction to haibara’s death, especially since this part is through getou’s pov, it’s focused on showing getou’s depression, so i don’t think it’s fair to say that gojou didn’t feel anything when it’s nowhere to be seen. this writing choice could also be used to portray the distancing between getou and gojou, how gojou got so busy with his missions. in amanai’s case, gojou pretty much says he isn’t sad for her, but it doesn’t necessarily means he is cold or didn’t care about her, you have to consider the entire context. gojou had just learned reverse cursed technique and almost came back from the dead, he got severely traumatised by toji, but that’s exactly it, that’s how gojou deals with his trauma, by distancing himself, quite literally when you consider that he focuses on improving his infinity after it, and this metaphor is well portrayed in the anime too. gojou dealing with his trauma that way also adds to the idea of getou struggling with the distance between them.

2. the same way that gojou deals with trauma by creating a distance from humanity, getou deals with trauma by keeping everything to himself. gojou notices getou has lost weight, but getou himself brushes that off, maybe because he doesn’t want to worry gojou, maybe because he doesn’t want to show his vulnerability, afraid of gojou looking at him differently, who knows.

i feel like getou doesn’t like lying to gojou, so he just acts avoidant (and that also contributes to the distance between them).

3. getou’s actions weren’t solely due to what yuki said to him, he was already seeing humans as “monkeys” before their talk. of course her talk about genocide influenced his decisions, but she couldn’t possibly know how much he was affected by humans’ treatment towards sorcerers and by the cycle of exorcising/ingesting for the same humans. she didn’t know what was going on with his mind, it’s not her fault, but it is a bit insane to me how casually she mentions genocide. still, getou chose that path himself, there’s even a panel of him saying that.

4. yeah? i don’t see why not, the exorcising lifestyle was clearly unsustainable to him, there are other alternatives.

5. i think those kind of discussions are pointless tbh? i can’t give you an answer.

6. i do think satosugu is sun/moon coded, but in a different way than narusasu and, contrary to what some people think, getou is the sun while gojou is the moon, i’m linking a couple of posts to explain why i see it that way (1) (2), plus will have to mention that getou’s name contains the summer kanji (夏). narusasu are written to represent yin and yang from chinese philosophy, they are complementary opposites, in which yin means many things such as moon, dark, cold, earth, passive, while yang means sun, light, heat, heaven, active etc. those words are present in each of their characters, sasuke encompass all of yin’s characteristics, while naruto does the same with yang, they embody yin and yang perfectly.

satosugu are also written to be complementary opposites, in a lot of ways besides their names or their looks, but i don’t think gojou and getou encompass only yin or only yang characteristics each. dark goes clearly for getou, while light clearly goes for gojou, whose name literally means enlightenment, but i would say active is more matching to getou’s character in their relationship, while passive matches more with gojou’s, if you think about it, it’s always getou’s actions that change gojou, his defection, his declaration of war… i would say that gojou, who gets his enlightenment, is closer to heaven, while getou is grounded by his afflictions, closer to earth. another natural duality i read about yin and yang was contracting and expanding respectively, to which contracting matches getou’s technique, while expanding matches gojou’s. so my point is, gojou and getou are surely written to be complementary opposites, and even though those complementary opposites encompass yin and yang, i don’t think each are necessarily purely yin or yang.

7. i don’t think satosugu resemble narusasu, i don’t think either naruto or sasuke are gojou or getou. i also get what you’re saying about naruto being unable to kill sasuke, but i don’t like applying the same logic to different stories, i don’t think satosugu is less than narusasu because gojou killed getou, narusasu’s logic doesn’t apply to satosugu and vice versa. there is something about not being able to kill someone, even though that’s expected of you, because you love them, but there is also something about killing the one you love because it has to be you, and neither of those things are better or deeper than the other, the big picture matters, context matters.

#ask #anonymous

8 notes · View notes

nobodysdaydreams · 1 year

Text

I have to comment on the subtle way TMBS uses Curtain’s father relationship with SQ to show the contrast between him and Curtain in the books.

I love the books and the tv show, and I think both sets of characters are fantastic. However, in some cases, they are different characters and Curtain is a great example (from a character writing standpoint and also literally, Nathaniel Benedict and his backstory with Nicholas are not in the books). But what really sells it for me is how Curtain treats his son in the few scenes we do see and the few things we know about their relationship. 1) Show Curtain actually adopts SQ. In the books he comes to care about him, but he would never take the step of openly considering him family, even though it would have almost guaranteed book SQ’s loyalty. This version of Curtain does adopt SQ despite his vulnerability trigger. (I won’t get too into my “Curtain/Garrison/Milligan/SQ’s dad were friends that fell apart theory” cause that’s a whole other thing but click here to start that rabbit hole). 2) Show Curtain doesn’t involve SQ in his work. Book Curtain uses SQ as an executive/messenger, puts him in the whisperer and repeatedly wipes his memory to keep him by his side. Show SQ was not an executive or messenger (in fact he has no idea what his dad does) and so far has shown no signs of being brain swept. Even in season 2, when Marlon asks if SQ can come back for the next stage and Curtain says no, we as the audience assume this implies SQ has already been given the “happiness” but what if Curtain’s refusal to bring SQ back was actually him preventing SQ from taking the artificial happiness? (They didn’t get the actor back so I guess we’ll never know).

3) Show Curtain encourages SQ’s artistic talent. I’ve seen a lot of fics where Curtain resents that SQ is artistic and wishes he were “smart”, but if you watch the show, Curtain doesn’t do that. He does art projects with his son, he has rules about him going to the forest to paint but he still lets him go, and when Garrison interrupts Curtain, he doesn’t snap at SQ to do his homework, he suggests his son sketch, an activity he knows SQ enjoys. It would be easy to have a scene of Curtain admonishing SQ for his grades or not appreciating his art, but instead the writers chose to put in scenes showing the opposite.

4) When Reynie gives Curtain a narcoleptic seizure in the season 1 finale, it’s SQ that really sets him off. At first Curtain tries to mock what Reynie says: “I don’t think I’m a bad person either who thinks that?/“ok this is embarrassing”, but once he mentions SQ, Curtain gets visibly uncomfortable like “oh he went there oh no” and goes “okay, that’s enough that’s enough”, and realizes that he is losing this fight.

5) Finally, yes, we do see that Curtain is a bad father to SQ. I’m not denying that. The man deserves to be nailed by a golf cart. But: the main times when we see Curtain being a bad parent have a pattern: they occur when SQ is in danger of discovering who Curtain really is. The first is when he asks to bring Reynie to the forest. Curtain panics, realizing Reynie might be working for Nicholas, and now he’s forming a friendship with his son. Telling SQ that Reynie is using him was cruel and SQ is clearly devastated. SQ shows an awareness that his father speaks to others that way (he sees how his father speaks to Garrison) but might not be used to his father speaking to him that way which is why he takes it so badly. Then there’s when Curtain interrogates SQ, asking if he took a friend to the forest/if Reynie is really his friend, and SQ throws back in his face the “right cause who’d be friends with me” line and openly lies to him. Book Curtain would have at least called him out, or much worse. Show Curtain doesn’t, even though he knows his son is lying. Whether it’s because he’s scared his son is turning against him or because he’s ashamed of what he said to SQ earlier (“how many friends have you had”?) or because he doesn't want his son to be more suspicious, we can only speculate. Finally, SQ confronts Curtain about the antennas after finding Reynie’s letter and refuses to tell his dad about his conversation with Reynie. At this point, Curtain doesn’t know how much his son knows or what he will do. He could brain-sweep him. He could yell and tell SQ to never disrespect him again. Instead, he handles it in kind of a weird way where he admits to being under stress and having clouded judgment (which is a very rare moment of vulnerability and emotional awareness not just from Curtain, but from any abusive parent) and asks his son to please leave, though rather forcefully. Obviously, comparing him to book Curtain puts the bar on the floor and show Curtain was still horrible and should have told the truth, but the other negative alternative ways to handle that situation (Book Curtain’s torture and brain sweeping) would have been so much worse.

One of the most interesting aspects is how Show Curtain compartmentalized his son and his work so much that they became totally separate and how little SQ knows since he’s not working as a messenger or executive. SQ, on his end, has likely seen the way his father treats others, but work stresses out a lot of people, some people are ruthless in their careers but are good parents, he probably wishes his dad was different so he could have friends (because every other kid at the institute has to be controlled by Curtain, or at least is striving to please him at all times, which prevents genuine friendships), but his dad never does those things to him or at least not to that extent. So as long as SQ never talks to his dad about work (in his mind: “because it stresses him out”), his dad will never treat him the way he treats everyone else and since SQ has never know anything else, life seems alright to him. It’s only when Reynie starts pointing out Curtain’s flaws that SQ questions him and starts to see that maybe there’s more going on.

This could also explain SQ’s season 2 absence. SQ was on the boat, he knows how his dad screwed Garrison over. His biological father used to work for his dad. And SQ will never know whether Curtain screwed his biological dad over like he did Garrison, because Curtain will never be vulnerable enough to tell him the truth. Meanwhile, Curtain also realizes that his son is now curious about his work, and keeping his double life and his son would involve going a step beyond lies/gaslighting and doing the things book Curtain did to his SQ and show Curtain so far has been unwilling to do that. So SQ now has a motivation to leave and Curtain has a motivation to let him go: SQ can’t trust his father after what Reynie told him/what he did to Garrison and the only way Curtain can make SQ stay is by forcing him or messing with his free will/memories and so far he has refused to do that, at least that we know of (granted Curtain could have also told SQ the truth and voluntarily changed his ways, but after lying for so long, SQ might have chosen to leave anyway).

Curious to hear people’s thoughts on this, I really hope they work it into the season 3 plot. (Currently pulling for the “sister kidnaps SQ at art college” theory)

Ok rant over.

#Long post as always #Needed room for my full unhinged character analysis #Tempted to write a fic where SQ confronts Curtain and asks if he killed his bio parents...#… and then says “if it’s really so safe and so good then go ahead. Make me happy” and Curtain can’t do it #Might write that as a final chapter in a Curtain/Milligan/Garrison/SQ bio parents friend group fic #the mysterious benedict society #mysterious benedict society #tmbs #mbs #ld curtain #sq benedict #sq pedalian #sq curtain #dr curtain #ledroptha curtain #ledroptha #nathaniel benedict #tmbs disney #mbs disney

43 notes · View notes

snowmaniaph · 1 year

Text

Come on a “Suno House”

Gracing our Johnny’s share house feature is Snow Man who is looking forward to being more active this 2023! They were divided into 4 balanced groups and did cross-talks for this New Year SP project. Furthermore, we also did a round-table discussion full of laughs with the 9 members! We will be giving a more than 12,000-word interview. Let’s have a “Suno” start with the 9 members in their pajamas this 2023!

Fukazawa: The theme this time is “Who in Snow Man would you like to share a room with if we’re living in a share-house?”.

Sakuma: I would want a room to myself.

Fukazawa: (slightly aggressive feeling) I mean we wouldn’t be able to decide who rooms with us! On the other hand, do we really need to pick?

Sakuma: You can let them decide as they wish?

Raul: So we’re going to be unruly from the start (laughs).

Meguro: Ah, so we’re going for this atmosphere today?

Mukai: You’re on edge for the wrong thing (laughs).

Meguro: People in their 30’s are on edge (laughs).

Sakuma: I want to peacefully live in the share-house with everyone!

Fukazawa: Doesn’t that mean you don’t want to share the room with anyone?

Raul: Kyahahaha!

Miyadate: No, you two. On top of having a lot of preparatory meetings, TV Guide has proceeded with this project.

Fukazawa: Ah, so it was a lot of meetings?!

Miyadate: That’s right!

Fukazawa: I’m sorry, I was lying earlier!

Sakuma: I’m sorry! I’m always thankful for the opportunity!

Mukai: (laughs). Everyone, who would you like to room with? How about you, Shoppi- (Watanabe)?

Watanabe: I want to room with everyone.

Meguro: Ah~ (laughs).

Abe: We’re taking the conversation in this direction now (laughs)?

Raul: He’s raising his likability.

Watanabe: I really would lie to live with everyone! I’m fine sharing a room with anyone!

Raul: Yey~!

Sakuma: That person is a little scary!

Fukazawa: You (Shoppi) said it already! No take-backs!

Mukai: On the contrary, it feels disgusting.

Raul: Why would you lie like this!?

Watanabe: (angry) No! I am serious!

All members: Ahahaha!

Sakuma: Saying “I am serious” definitely means you’re lying (laughs).

Fukazawa: Then how about Date-san? Is there someone you’d like to room with?

Miyadate: Me? None.

Mukai: No one?! Even though you said something like “Think of the magazine staff!” earlier (laughs)!

Miyadate: Well if I really have to pick someone, okay? If I really have to pick someone then I choose Abe.

Watanabe: Fuhahaha!

Fukazawa: No, Date-san. This happened before too but could you please stop this pattern of choosing Abe (laughs)?

Iwamoto: In the special video for the CD.

Sakuma: Right, right. I feel like Ryota is always choosing Abe-chan.

Miyadate: I have already decided to choose “Abe” when asked to pick someone.

Fukazawa: Why?!

Abe: Hello, I am an Emergency Exit.

Iwamoto: Ahahaha!

Watanabe: an emergency exit (laughs)!

Raul: That’s right! Abe-chan’s member color is green!

Abe: Please come anytime (smiling sweetly).

Raul: Wasn’t that nice (laughs)? Won’t there be offers for the role of a personified emergency exit someday?

Sakuma: Then he’s a lock-in for the role of the emergency exit.

Abe: It won’t happen (laughs)!

Miyadate: It isn’t like anyone is fine. That’s exactly the reason why I chose Abe-chan, a person I trust.

Abe: You’re serious (laughs).

Watanabe: That’s a nice reason (laughs). Maybe I should do that too next time?

Sakuma: How about Fukazawa? Tell us (who you’re choosing).

Fukazawa: If I were to choose a member to room with... then I’d go the opposite way and choose someone I haven’t roomed with.

Abe: Oh, that’s nice!

Fukazawa: The interesting choice would be Date-san.

Miyadate: (cutting in) It’s impossible.

Meguro: How fast (laughs)!

Sakuma: Good work today~!

Fukazawa: Why?! I had to chance to room with everyone except Date-san!

Miyadate: Now that you’ve mentioned it, we really haven’t roomed together.

Raul: Even once?

Fukazawa: Not even once right?

Miyadate: Not even once, and not even in forever.

Fukazawa: What do you mean “even in forever”!?

Iwamoto: He means “Now and forever”!

Fukazawa: No, I heard everything! You don’t have to repeat it!

Miyadate: But I’m thankful.

Fukazawa: It’s no problem. It also feels like I would enjoy being with Date-san again.

Iwamoto: I choose Sakuma.

Fukazawa: Oh!

Watanabe: Hyu~!

Iwamoto: Because Sakuma becomes really quiet when it’s just the two of us.

Sakuma: Nyahahaha!

Mukai: Eh? That sounds like a lie!?

Fukazawa: Stop it!

Raul: That was an unnecessary (personality) gap.

All members: Ahahaha!

Meguro: I don’t want to see a Sakuma-kun like that (laughs).

Sakuma: I... I can’t show my quiet form unless it’s the two of us.

Fukazawa: Ahahaha!

Raul: No, I don’t want to see it!

Miyadate: Furthermore, it’s a gap from his whole body (laughs).

Sakuma: I was also quiet when I roomed together with Raul right?

Raul: Yeah, you were quiet then.

Iwamoto: That’s about right. It feels right (laughs). He becomes really considerate!

Sakuma: Kuhihihihi...!

Fukazawa: Then, how about Sakuma?

Sakuma: Eto, then...

Mukai: Think it over!

Sakuma: (in a soft voice) Which part should I choose...?

Mukai: It’s not “Which part should I choose?”!

Sakuma: Then should I choose Mukai Koji?

Mukai: Oi! You just chose me because our eyes met just now!

Sakuma: Nyahaha! I chose you because I want you to teach me how to do doumyaku peace and okay cuff.

Mukai: That’s definitely a lie.

Miyadate: A late-night practice?

Abe: That’s a reason you thought of for 2 seconds.

Sakuma: That’s right (laughs). But I was thinking maybe it would be fun if we were together.

Mukai: I would make it fun~!

Fukazawa: But won’t Sakuma become quiet when it’s just the two of you?

Sakuma: Yes.

Mukai: Leave it to me, Sakkun. I’m also quiet. Let’s play games together!

Sakuma: Let’s play~!

Raul: So you’d play games silently (laughs).

Fukazawa: It would be really bad to be in a super quiet room as these two (laughs).

Abe: As for me, I would really like to be alone.

Fukazawa: Oi~!

Mukai: Don’t bring back the conversation there!

Sakuma: The conversation had that flow earlier!

Miyadate: Don’t turn it into a variety show!

Iwamoto: Variety- (laughs).

Raul: If you had to choose after that introduction?

Abe: U~m, well if I had to choose then maybe Fukka?

Fukazawa: Thank you!

Abe: I want him to teach me how to solve the Rubik’s cube.

Mukai: Right now, isn’t Fukka-san doing it in front of you?

Iwamoto: You also just thought of that reason for 2 seconds didn’t you?

Abe: Ahaha!

Raul: As for me... maybe Meguro-kun?

Fukazawa: Rau would choose him!

Watanabe: You two are friends.

Raul: I’m thinking of having him teach me how to do the okay cuff.

Fukazawa: Learning from Meme?

Meguro: Eh~ I won’t be able to teach you the okay cuff!

Raul: Weren’t you the first one to ask Koji-kun about it?

Mukai: That’s right; he’s the first one I taught it to.

Meguro: That is right, I was the first one.

Abe: Then you’re his first student.

Fukazawa: That title is the worst (laughs)!

Raul: Should I also ask for the sign language of the okay cuff~?

Meguro: Then, I’ll choose Raul as the member I want to room with because he also chose me. Also, I heard that Raul has been getting better at cooking lately.

Mukai: Eh? Really!?

Raul: Wait, don’t tell anyone~!

Meguro: I want to room with him and have him cook for me.

Fukazawa: Isn’t that nice?!

Sakuma: What can you cook?

Miyadate: How is it?

Raul: The other day I made cheese dak galbi.

Mukai: Eh? Amazing!

Raul: But I only cut it!

Sakuma: That’s definitely yummy~!

Raul: Un, I loved it (ore daisuki).

Sakuma: I’m Daisuke (ore daisuke).

Iwamoto: Kukuku...!

Miyadate: Then you’d be cooking while doing the okay cuff, right?

Raul: Okay cuff!

Sakuma: Okay cuff!

Mukai: Here’s an okay cuff and zoom in!

Fukazawa: No, that’s not really interesting (laughs). Could you please stop deriving things?

Meguro: Ahaha!

Raul: That really didn’t become popular (laughs).

Fukazawa: Isn’t it only today when the okay cuff was used a lot?

Mukai: That’s nice. Continue using it a lot~!

Abe: It will become really popular!

Raul: As expected, it gets popular when you say it at places like these! It will be difficult to enter if the entrance is too big.

Sakuma: Right. We wouldn’t know what to do if you suddenly did this for the first time on TV.

Mukai: You’re right. Thanks for telling me.

Abe: This is a very realistic strategy meeting (laughs).

Mukai: Next is me? Maybe I’d choose Shoppi-.

Meguro: Why did you choose Shoppi-?

Mukai: Because he seems like he would be good even if I act spoiled. Then in our room, I’ll play the guitar and Shoppi will sing acapella.

Raul: That’s nice; so melancholic.

Mukai: We have to make the okay cuff song popular.

Fukazawa: Okay cuff song...? How about Nabe (Watanabe)? Earlier you said you’d be fine rooming with anyone, but what will you do?

Watanabe: I’ll choose Kikuchi Fuma.

Mukai: Why?!

Raul: Kyahahaha!

Mukai: I won’t forgive you!!

All members: Oh~!

Sakuma: A classic example!

Raul: Fantastic!

Meguro: Just now, Shoppi thought “Guwa~!” right?

Watanabe: Fufu~

Fukazawa: Also, Raul will turn 20 years old this 2023.

Sakuma: I’ll stop spoiling you once you turn 20!

Mukai: You’d definitely spoil him.

Fukazawa: I’ll buy you anything you want, okay?

Raul: No, even if you say something like “You’ll buy me stuff even if I turn 20”... you don’t even buy me anything now (laughs).

Abe: I want to make a toast and drink with everyone.

Fukazawa: Right? But I’ll probably get smashed~.

Mukai: Fukka-san’s weak.

Meguro: But it will be a gap moe if Raul ends up being weak to alcohol!

Fukazawa: Right, if he ends up being weaker than me despite looking like he’d be strong.

Raul: I want to stay cute~

Abe: I’m looking forward to it~

Mukai: Me too.

Sakuma: Raul will also turn 20; Snow Man will do our best!

Abe: We look forward to working with you this year!

All members: Thank you very much!

26 notes · View notes

canis-or-cannotis-lycaon · 11 months

Text

TIMING: About four days after ‘Pulled from the Edge’ LOCATION: Gael’s House PARTIES: Ren [@ironheartedfae] and Gael [@lithium-argon-wo-l-f] WARNINGS: Child Abuse/neglect (past)

SUMMARY: After a week of resting up at Gael’s house, Ren has a crucial decision she needs to make

Had it been four days or five? Gael wanted to say he lost track since the altercation with the mutated turtle Ren insisted was called a ‘Vodnik’ but it was difficult for him to lose track of time unless it was ripped from him during one of his sleepwalking ventures. It had been four days. The rain, while still persisting, had lightened up but that meant that regardless of how long she wanted to stay, he had come to an agreement with the girl who took up residence in his spare room until it was gone at least. He occupied his kitchen now, having texted her when he was out and about picking up some groceries - Gael didn’t know what she meant by ‘creamy with potatoes but not chunky’ but after doing a little bit of research he figured she was talking about… cream of potato soup. Somehow he didn’t think she would object even if it wasn’t the right dish but he couldn’t say he wasn’t about to try to make it for her. “I’m home!” He called through the house, leaving his shoes in the entryway next to the wall behind the door as he carried his couple bags of groceries in. The past week had seen him being more domestic than he had been in a while between gently tending to her if she needed it (though she was very independent) and Elias coming and going with his job and other activities, but he realized that he didn’t really mind it - he still had his own job and things to do, he just came to the conclusion that he didn’t like living alone. He felt… vulnerable when he was alone. Loosely speaking of, as he set the bags down and put the cold items in the fridge, he tilted his head as he heard a rhythmic pattern coming from the spare room - he was used to Ren not greeting him even if he announced his arrival and departure but he could hear something unusual this time. Licking his lips and looking at the wall as though he could see through it for a moment, Gael left the rest of the groceries where they were and he made his way around until he stood in front of her closed door where he knocked thrice gently. “Ren?” He called through the door gently. “Are you alright?” He asked, wondering if it was something he said in their messages to each other - she had abruptly stopped responding and he hoped he hadn’t said the wrong thing.

____________ Panicky pacing back and forth did not actually seem to help with the situation brewing inside Ren’s mind. The tidal shift of a pleasant conversation to one that sent the young fae into a tizzy about being fae (again) was making more than just waves. The nymph had been too wrapped up in her own thoughts to realize that she’d been verbalizing some of them aloud. In a way that was fine to do when she lived on her own, far removed from other people who might see or hear. She kept reading and re-reading the conversations. Trying to parse through what was right, what was dismissable, and what that meant she should do now.

Did he know? Should she tell him if he didn’t? More and more queries swirled into the storm, a rising tempest of endless questions that spiraled and fractaled out into more and more uncertainty. Distrust in herself, in all the things she was taught growing up, and how little they seemed to fit into the real world. One thing was persistent, above all else. Darya had never accounted for the kindness of strangers. Never thought or maybe realized that those who were not wardens would just see Ren as a young human girl. It felt like lying. Is a lie of omission still big enough of a lie that it counted? Whether it was binding fae magic, or just the after effects of panic, Ren was feeling sick to her stomach.

A voice called out. Not just any, Gael’s. The source of both so much comfort and on the equal and opposite side, stress. Not directly anything that he did, just… Potential energy. Right now (if Ren were any type of physicist) she’d say felt like she was sitting at the apex. The highest part of the parabolic swing. A dizzying view of every possible horizon. Hazily laid out before her through a deep fog of context she just did not have. She trusted Gael. It’d only been a few days, weeks verging on months if you counted his online council as well. But there was something to it.

Are you alright?

Simple enough question. Simple enough answer. Ren didn’t know where to stand, mentally or physically. Feeling at odds with herself in any position she found herself stepping to. So she retreated to the bed. Buried her face in her hands, and her hands in her knees, only then answering with a ragged; “No.” ____________

The chemist remained silent, lowering his head as one of his ears faced the door in anticipation for the response. In the few short days Ren had spent at his house, he felt as though he had learned a few crucial things about her, even if they were from his own interpretation and experiences in life so he wasn’t surprised when she answered with an honest and simple ‘no’. It was obvious when Gael thought about it - even if she wasn’t just pacing, he could hear her muttering to herself, possibly either engaging in a hypothetical, using herself as a soundboard or a mantra she used as a coping mechanism. “Okay,” He said just as gently and he turned to look at the door this time, dancing over its features as he mind wondered which scenario this was. “May I come in?” Gael asked slowly. “Or would you rather have some space?” There were too many variables in his mind and while he didn’t know what was going on, he was also unwilling to make the wrong call based on what little information he had. He also wasn’t even sure if he should be asking but having grown up with four sisters, he certainly knew better than to open a door on an unexpected female. He could figure out where to go from there but as of right now, he still patiently waited on the other side of the door, her muffled response sticking onto his mind.

____________ Shivers sang sweet siren songs of silence beneath her skin. Beckoning the nymph to remain in comfortable distance, to ignore the stirring in her heart and not admit her sins. Because that’s what she believed it to be. Ren was born fae. Born wrong. Born evil. There was no baptism of light or healing that could stop that. She’d been raised as a shield and a sword, but now she was being grafted into a position of personhood. Being asked to think of herself as more than just her mission. It was a fine, fine line to tread. One she was not so sure she wouldn’t fall from.

Accept help, betray her mother.

Deny it, lose whatever this was.

A group of friends, marked and bound by death, fire, and an oath that Ren had escaped from sharing. A detective who’d seen past the girl’s inability to take anything on principal and gave her a job to earn food and respite. So many people online and around town who’d offered a helping hand, a bit of advice, jokes and information she’d never even hoped to learn before.

A man who, without asking or wanting anything in return. Tended wounds, made food, gave her shelter, clothes, and a bed. A real fucking proper comfy cozy bed. Said she could stay as long as she liked.

He wanted to know what was wrong, and she did not want to lie. Ren felt sick at the thought alone. Her heart heaved with the heaviness of it all. It was a marathon to lift her head to the back of the door. To the strange scratches and where she couldn’t see beyond it, Gael.

“You can… come in. There is… talk we must have. Before you… make dumb decisions without knowing full consequences.” ____________ More pause lent itself to the breath Gael hadn’t realize he was holding until she gave him a response through the wood. Granted, the ‘yes’ was followed by a vague utterance that he wasn’t sure what to make of but that wasn’t on the forefront of his mind. “Okay, I’m coming in,” He announced as he slowly, gently opened the door to see her curled into herself on the bed, her freckled face regarding him as he crossed the threshold. She was upset, that much was clear but Gael wanted to figure out why. And if she wanted to talk, regardless of whether or not it was to keep him from ‘making dumb decisions without knowing the consequences’, then he was more than willing to talk though part of his mind started racing - did she get some idea that he was keeping her with an ulterior motive? Did someone else tell her about his brain injury, about the sleepwalking? “Talk to me, little fern,” He closed the door though it didn’t latch, letting her know that while they had privacy he wasn’t creating an obstacle to make it more difficult for her to disengage. “What’s going on?” He opted to sit on the bed near her, leaning forward and resting his elbows on his knees as he kept his dark gaze on her young face, the face that he’d seen gripped by animal instinct, the face that expressed curiosity and confusion, the face that he’d seen smile and heard laugh.

____________ Once again her skittishness, her inability to interact with things in a normal way was only greeted with compassion. And god, didn’t that make it so much worse? Ren screwed her eyes shut. Knowing the next part was going to be too much for her to see. Was there a limit to his kindness? To the way he ‘liked to view things from other perspectives’ or however he’d phrased it? Her throat was tight. Dry. She’d barely said anything and she wanted to stop already.

The bed bent with the new weight, not by much, but enough to tilt her small frame slightly toward him. Enough that her shoulder brushed against his and added another thing she felt bad about how nice it was. To have someone nearby. Someone who cared. Probably too much.

“There are–” A start. Hoarse. Ragged. “Things you do not know about me. I am not–” Not human, not good. “I am not who you think I am, not what you think I am.” Did she even know what that might be? Ren swallowed again, but it did nothing for the lump still sitting heavy at the base of her neck. The way Emilio reacted was different. He was different, he was a hunter. He knew about the supernatural world, and Gael was still calling the vodnik a mutated turtle. Made it all the more difficult to discern where this all could land.

There was a voice in her head shouting that he should be disgusted, and another quieter one that knew it would break her if he was scared. But she couldn’t just… not. Ren knew that she couldn’t keep accepting warm rooms and freshly made food if it meant keeping something this big from him. Not if she was going to freak out every time something brought it up. It was better to rip off the bandaid. Sear the wound tight. At least she’d know where she could stand.

____________ Her skin touched his and while her body temperature was still lower than what he was expecting, it was certainly better than the first day he brought her in from the situation outside in the rain. She was so light. Gael looked at her with earnesty, managing to soften his expression as much as he possibly could as whatever was burning her mind obviously had trouble getting to her mouth. When she did though, mentioning that she was neither what nor who he thought she was, his brow furrowed ever-so-slightly. He admitted that he didn’t understand what this meant - was she going by an alias? Had she taken someone else’s name that she assumed for herself? …Was she actually a 40-year-old man with a condition that made her look like a young girl? That last one was obtuse but not… entirely outside the realm of reality, as unlikely as it was. However, as Gael asked himself these questions, rhetorical what-ifs, a new question formed inside and it wanted to stop all the other inquiries. What did it matter? It was a big enough deal to Ren to work her nerves up but honestly, it didn’t sit right for Gael to suddenly change everything he knew about her, everything he learned and adapted about himself for his temporary guest because of some information or a liar revealed. He had enough of an idea to know that she had killed before, though he couldn’t be sure if they were animals or people. HE’D killed animals… so she wasn’t the only one hiding a facet of who she was. How could he be such a hypocrite? Gael opened his mouth to say something but he was having trouble coming up with something sufficient enough, something to assuage the turmoil she might’ve been experiencing. “I can’t… pretend to understand what you’re thinking right now,” He said slowly, making sure his voice was calm and even. “But I’d like to help if I can.” He blinked and turned to look at her. “I’m not here to judge you or throw you out.” He rubbed his hands together, leaning slightly to give her a very light nudge. “I promise.”

____________ With substantial effort, Ren had almost brought her breathing to a steady tempo. There was even a moment of warmth and light as he nudged up against her. Right up until those words came out. If she were more like her kin, she could have twisted those words to make him keep her around. Force him into something he might not choose himself and that terrified her.

The nymph loosed a bark of air that almost sounded like a desperate laugh. Tears began to prickle at her eyes and her cheeks turned red. “No. No-no-no, you cannot promise this. Please. There are things about this world you do not understand.” She was sinking further into herself. Probably making a mess of how coherent and audible her words were. Which was not great considering the potentially earth shattering news she had to break.

“That creature was not a turtle because it was a thing called a fae. It is magic. I am–” There was a long, long pause before she next spoke up. “I am not human, Gael.” Confession out in the air, she dug her head down further between her knees. A stone to weather whatever would come next. Against everything, she found herself wishing his reaction would be negative. It’d be so much easier to navigate. She could leave. Escape. Never let him see her face again.

And it hurt. These last few months had been the best she’d ever lived. This last week had some of the most comfort she’d ever allowed herself to enjoy. Ren didn’t know how to give that up. But she would. In a heartbeat, she would. More than anything else in the entire world, she did not want to hurt good people. People like Gael didn’t deserve to have monsters like her in their life. Problems waiting to happen. She’d wrestled enough with it when Emilio had so firmly set his opinion down. But she still couldn’t escape the idea that the fae inherently were bad. Something to be exterminated. And that meant her too. ____________

Right as he thought he had more of this figured out, Gael found himself wishing he could go back to a few moments before, when he hadn’t said those words - ‘thank you’ and ‘promise’ were off the table. He didn’t– He didn’t understand. And evidently Gael didn’t know how true this was as he saw Ren’s emotions breaking the surface and the words that she said didn’t quite register with him at first. She had him until she mentioned magic, something called ‘fae’ (even though he heard Beau making comments about that before, as well) and that she wasn’t human. Not human, what did that mean? What was she talking about? He managed to keep the confusion off his face but he couldn’t keep his thoughts from starting to swirl around in his head. Alan had spoken about something like this, too. Beau, Alan, Emilio had mentioned things not as they seemed, Regan. Monty, Ariadne, even Ren’s lowered body temperatures… Maybe his face wasn’t as well-hidden as he thought as he thought more about everything that piled up with this supposed revelation that Ren wasn’t human. Gael blinked and swallowed a knot that had formed in his throat without him even being aware. He could rationalize this. She was… delusional. HE was delusional. But also… even if she didn’t accept his promise, he told her that he wasn’t going to judge or cast her out despite the doubts that suddenly pulsed through him about her, everyone else that he’d met that seemed abnormal… himself. And for a moment, his mind switched the two of them. Gael WAS human but he had this… condition and for that same moment, he pretended that he was telling someone else who had no idea that this was part of him what he did. That he killed animals in his sleep, that he stripped down and wandered around who knew where, that every once in a while with zero explanation or ability to change it, something ruptured from within him and made him do things. His gaze flickered to the deep gashes on the back of the door. How terrified he would be of the rejection, the experience so strong that he HADN’T told anyone about it. His was just a brain injury, a neurological rewiring that had him say and do things that he didn’t mean to. And maybe… maybe the things Ren was saying were similar. Gael exhaled and looked to Ren for a moment, softly, his brow knitted in empathy, and he reached up to wipe one of the tears from her face gently. “It’ll be okay.” He offered quietly, not sure how true that was but for the purposes of right now, with the two of them on the bed and neither of them quite sure how to traverse this sea that they found themselves in, he gave her his word. “Magic or no magic, I said I wasn’t here to judge you.” He followed up. “Human, not human… The rain will stop eventually but you can stay as long as you want.” ____________

Waves of heightened emotion crashed around her. As the only thing worse than rejection settled in, Gael did what he always had done. He was kind. A gentle thumb found her cheek, stopped the silent stream of tears and wiped them away as she flinched. God she wished she hadn’t. Gael didn’t deserve that. Didn’t need a problem like Ren in his life. He didn’t understand, not really. He was still saying it was okay. Still saying she could stay, for who knows how long. If he really meant it, if he really would be alright with it, she’d stay forever. She knew that. But it wasn’t that easy.

If this had been an easier world, this conversation wouldn’t even be happening. Ren would be able to grapple with the fact that despite the image of her mother in her head, despite the fact that she so desperately wanted to believe that Darya had been a hero, she might not have been. Or she was, and that was worse. If she had the capability of compassion and care like Gael did, but she chose not to give it to Ren anyway. Because of who she was, because of who Ren was. Wardens couldn’t care for fae.

So why did she take her in?

Would Ren really have turned out to be a monster if someone like Gael had been there from the start? Someone who could teach her the right things to say, the right way to feel. Or at least someone who had even half a chart on navigating all these foreign emotions that came on so quickly, so intensely. A blade didn’t need to feel. Didn’t need to think. Didn’t need to question anything and everything the way Ren wanted to now. The way that each new unanswered query stretched out in front of her like a million fractals, each splitting off into more and more. All of them doubling down and forcing her to interrogate every bit of information she’d been fed her whole life.

“You do not get it.” The words were unintentional. But they came out anyway. In the same way Ren’s mind refused to let Emilio in, let him just be okay with her as she was, she was doing it now too. Defensive. Anger was easier because it meant she didn’t have to sit in the chaos of the unknown. The unsorted. Her past was too messy for the future to hold anything good. She was not good. Gael had to see. Had to know.

In her mind, there was only one way to do that. Something she hadn��t done on purpose pretty much ever in her life. Slip away the glamour, the fake facade that made her appear as something other than the monstrous thing she truly was. A horrible little bug, a pest. Skin shimmered away, replaced with a smooth green carapace, dotted with red splotches that almost resembled the freckles on her ‘human’ cheeks. Horns, antennae, segmented body parts and wings. Somehow even smaller than the form she paraded around in. Especially all curled up like this.

“This. This is what I am. And it is not a good thing. This is why it is dangerous to say Thank You, to say that you promise to do something. When I say I am not human, I– I am a monster.” The last and only other person to see this shape had said so, but in a much kinder affectation than Ren used. To Nora, it meant companionship in their shared oddness. To Ren it meant she’d never be something worthy of trust.

____________ She flinched, which Gael sort of expected though he kept his hand up for a moment before lowering it. The two were silent for a long moment before she said the simple phrase. ‘You do not get it’. His expression faltered slightly and he wondered what she would do if he told her that they might’ve been more similar than she thought. And then… Ren’s visage started to shift, shimmering, altering as though she were covered in glitter again. Gael subconsciously scooted away as the human he sat next to was slowly and effortlessly replaced by… what he could only describe incredulously as an insectoid with horns, wings, antennae. No longer was he sitting next to Ren the human, he now found himself beside a small… he didn’t even know what to call her. At first, Gael thought he must’ve been losing his mind though he couldn’t possibly explain what had happened, what was going on to betray his vision and a small, primal part of him wanted to escape, leap off the bed and out of the room so fast even he wouldn’t be able to process what was going through his mind. And yet… She spoke to him somehow, in some way, through her inhuman mandibles, and without thinking he snapped his eyes shut - his vision wasn’t reliable, he needed to hear her. Hear how she sounded regardless of manipulating him or what had happened to make him lose his mind. She sounded… “It’s still Ren.” Gael breathed. And he took another breath. Eyes still closed, he lifted his head and took another breath. Leaned into where Ren was sitting. Grass, earth… smoke. The scent on the sheets, in the room. Ren’s voice. “You’re still… Ren.” With his head turned to face her, he opened his eyes again and they rested on the small, insect-like form on the bed. “I… don’t get it.” He repeated her earlier sentiment. “But I also can’t… accept that you’re a monster.” He sighed.

____________ Well what the hell was she supposed to do now? Ren had laid out all her cards, played the final ace and– There was some fear. Perhaps it was just hesitation. So brief the young fae had not properly been able to catch, so brief compared to how it should have been, how it– No. No he wasn’t like that. Ren was starting to see the patterns. While sticking to everything she knew might have been the more comfortable path internally, even her stubborn mind could see that Gael was just… just too good of a person to reject her just like that. When a world altering revelation had been dropped in his lap he just… adapted. Took a few seconds to stop and think, then continued on the gentle path he was coaxing Ren ever closer to.

The few moments where he had closed his eyes were easier, now he was just… staring. Not the intense way that Ren tended to adopt. No, it was soft. Confused maybe, but earnest. She didn’t know what to do with that. Nora had seen her, and said she was cool for being a monster. Gael was seeing her, and was confirming that she was still a person. Still Ren. The nymph’s shaking body was just about anything but still though. It was like the thoughts inside had physical weight, each pushing and prodding and wanting to be the first to break out. All of it together nearly short circuited the already overloaded mind. What was once a confident attempt to scare him off in some childish way, turned quickly to a horrid shame.

The glamour returned. Just as quick as it had gone. Zipping up tight and locking away the parts of herself that she hated. Ren’s head turned too, looking away. Staring at the frayed edges of the rug, of where they met the hardwood flooring. Where she could trace the lines in the woodgrain and not think for just a split second of reprieve.

“This is because you do not truly know.” Distant and choked up, all her teachings came bubbling to the surface and spewed out of her mouth. “Fae are terrible manipulative creatures. They kill humans for fun. They take your words and use them against you. If you say thank you to one they will bind you to servitude. If you say you promise to do something they can make you do it literally and forever. Fae are monsters.”

____________ As effortlessly as it had appeared to his unreliable eyes, she had glittered back to her small, light, human form. He didn’t take his eyes off her as she did, instead trying to scrape his brain, to figure out how she had and what she did to get that effect; she wasn’t wearing a watch that projected holograms, she smelled and sounded the same in both forms, it didn’t look… uncomfortable. Well– Gael wondered if he said something wrong again, if he was just being foolish and trying to muscle past something that was intrinsically wrong. She avoided his gaze this time, looking at the ground and if he followed the path himself he could see a different set of scratches, the ever-present reminder of something inside him that he pushed down and hid, though he didn’t need to… fool anyone into accepting it. “But…” Gael swallowed again as his brow furrowed and he thought on everything she said. Monsters, manipulative like how she tricked him into seeing a different version of her even if everything else was the same down to the withdrawn behavior, word games. “But you haven’t done that.” He remarked slowly, lowering his head and though he didn’t search for her eyes again, he did scoot towards her, returning to where he was. He leaned forward once more - it was literally impossible for him to wrap his brain around everything that he saw so he was relegating himself to clawing at the parts that he could, about Ren’s tearful insistence that she was a monster. “You told me about the pitfalls,” He continued. “You helped my neighborhood. You’ve taken great care to make sure I haven’t… that you haven’t used any of my words against me.” He placed his hands together once more as his elbows returned to his knees. “So even if you are a fae, I can’t very well judge you as a monster like the ones you describe.” He licked his lower lip with a small nod. “So… not all fae are monsters.” Gael did look at her this time. “You’re Ren. You hate being told thank you because it means they owe you something and you don’t want that to happen. You like salami and cream of potato soup. You fought a vodnik and almost died just because it was the right thing to do and your laugh that day made me forget that it was raining outside. You can look like a human or an insect and you might be a fae but that’s not who you are because you’re Ren.”

____________ Each and every person who chipped away at the massive wall surrounding Ren’s heart had their own methods. Some worked really well, others not so much. Each made an impact though. Carved at the layers and layers of self hatred, of time spent digging herself deeper into an isolation so thorough that even on a good day Ren barely recognized herself outside of what she was ‘supposed to do’.

Somehow though, he did. Gael saw the bits that surfaced. Saw her and not what she was. Ren’s brows knit together, slowly slowly turning to face him as he went on. All the things he’d noticed. All the things he kept. Parts of her she didn’t show anyone. Parts of her that her ‘mother’ never recognized. Even with years under her belt she’d never come close to this level of understanding. With a millennia of practice she might never be able to have this amount of compassion.

“And that’s okay?” Tearful, barely audible. A second confirmation of things others in town had tried to impart. Her breath shuddered and slowed the hyperventilation she’d just come down from. Big green eyes looked into his, and for maybe the first time in her life, she felt like she was home. ____________

He breathed evenly though he knew his body wanted to react to everything that had transpired in that bedroom. He breathed evenly because he knew just enough about psychology to know that someone else breathing in close proximity helped others. He didn’t know anything about fae psychology but she clearly experienced emotion like a human, ate like a human and feared like a human so how different was she really? In, out. In, out. Her eyes found Gael’s this time, sparkling with tears, emeralds on a face wide with so much emotion and a burden. A voice telling her that she was a monster. Someone had to have instilled this into her from a very young age. He wanted to wrap his arms around her, hold her and let her feel his warmth and heart but this was delicate, as was she so instead he gave her another little nudge as he sat back, the arm closest to her moving so that his torso was exposed to her. Gael blinked slowly, a smile widening on his angled features. “Of course it is, little fern.”

____________ A foreign instinct wormed its way into her brain and pushed Ren forward. She found her head buried against his chest and her arms wrapping around. No more words, no more fighting. Tears flowed freely, but not necessarily out of sadness or anger. The world had spun on its axis, and the nymph was allowing herself to be held truly and wholly for the first time in her life. Darya would never, she could never do this. And she’d just as quickly kill Ren for being this soft. For going against her directive. For being a person instead of a thing.

There was relief to it. The hug. The way she could hear the man’s heart beating, feel the vibrations echo from his chest into hers. Slowing down her heartbeat until the two of them were at least in the same range. There, Ren sobbed. For grief of time that could have been spent like this. A quiet somber moment, still filled with more happiness than she could even describe. It was hard to say how long she sat like that for. Just letting the worst of it rush out of her like a dam being released. Harder to say how long she would have stayed if she let herself.

For now, it was over. The sudden break in facade patched up and died down. Ren shuffled back, still unsure of how this was supposed to go. She’d never cried in front of someone, not like this. Not this close, not this much. Tears were a weakness she couldn’t usually afford. It wasn’t like that here. She knew that now. ____________

The older man was glad he had positioned himself in the way he did because while he wasn’t expecting it at all, one moment had flashed into the next and her arms were around him, feeling her face pressing into his chest, her body trembling with an overflow of emotions Gael wasn’t sure she’d felt in a long while. After an initial pause, he placed his hands on her in turn, feeling large compared to her small frame, one gently on her head and the other on her shoulder. Gael felt a pulse through him, a warmth that he hadn’t felt in a long time - when he held his sister’s child, comforting her as she cried from an injury. So inconsolable but he kept breathing, as he did now with a different child in his arms. Bug, human, fae, not, the limited time they spent together, his damned attachments that he formed way too quickly and without anyone’s permission including his own but he grasped these feelings, ephemeral though they felt sometimes. He wasn’t sure how long they sat there and honestly it was as long as she needed. He kept his embrace strong but loose for when she would want to disengage and as she did, he obliged. Gael’s shirt was soaked with tears but he didn’t even notice - what he did notice was her regulated breathing, her exhaust, the relief of having released everything she had, even if only for a moment. She pulled away and he offered her a gentle smile, the same one he’d given her from the beginning and the same one he had when he talked to her online as an anonymous individual online. “I needed that.” He said after a small pause, not untruthfully. “...It’ll be okay.” And it would; she had his word, an unspoken promise.

#WR Writing #Writing: Lean on Me #Writing with: Ren #child abuse tw #child neglect tw #[past tw for both]#wickedswriting

7 notes · View notes

cynicalone94 · 7 months

Text

Not Much Longer

Jay tugs on the collar of his dress shirt.

He hates this damn thing. In the Army, the only reason he’d ever worn his dress uniform had been for funerals and once for a promotion that he hadn’t deserved.

If he’d truly been as heroic as they claimed, men wouldn’t have died that day.

And now that he’s home, working for the CPD, it’s pretty much the same. Funerals, awards he doesn’t need, and the occasional charity gala.

Which is where he is tonight.

There’s a fundraiser for the Fallen Officer Scholarship Fund which pays for the children of fallen officers to go to college.

It’s a good cause. He doesn’t mind helping out.

The trouble is that Intelligence had made a major bust earlier in the week that had garnered significant positive media attention. And now their reward is being forced into their dress uniforms so that they can be paraded in front of rich donors in an effort to elicit more donations.

He’s had random women, mostly older women in incredibly revealing dresses, hanging off him all night, asking to hear stories about his exploits in the line of duty.

He and Hailey deliberately keep a distance at these events to avoid being accused of inappropriate displays of affection. The team mostly stays together and they try to keep one of their teammates between them at all times.

But tonight he’s felt her gaze on him the entire night, her angry gaze.

She’s either going to murder one of these women or he’s going to have a very good night if they ever get out of here.

“Excuse me, sir.” a young woman says, putting her hand lightly on his arm. “The Superintendent has requested you backstage.”

Backstage? More circus tricks for him.

Nodding to Marjorie, the latest cougar to latch onto him, he makes his way behind the stage.

It isn’t the hive of activity he would have expected if the Superintendent was getting ready to make a statement.

He turns back around, coming face to face with the waitress who’d approached him.

Holding a gun.

“What the hell is this?” he asks.

“Exactly what it looks like.” she scoffs. “Take off the jacket.”

He’s been dreaming of taking off this suffocating wool jacket all night. But not like this.

He unbuttons it slowly, sliding it down over his shoulders and draping it over a nearby toolbox.

She reaches behind herself to the cart of hor’dourves she’d been pushing when she’d approached him. Her hand comes back with a heavy metal collar.

“Put this on.” she orders.

“What is this about?” he asks, taking the collar from her but just holding it in his hands.

“You’ll find out soon enough.” she snaps. “Right along with everyone else here.”

He just raises an eye brow, studying her face.

“Don’t think I won’t shoot you, Detective Halstead.” she says. “Put the collar on.”

He loops it around his neck, hearing a click as it locks into place.

“Now cuff yourself.” she orders.

He pauses, tilting his head.

“I know you have them on you.” she says. “And I know they’re on the opposite side of your belt from your gun so don’t even try it. You can cuff them in front.”

He reaches down, liberating his cuffs and locking them around his wrists.

“Now get on your knees. And cross your ankles.”

He complies, lowering himself slowly.

“I’m not here alone.” she tells him, lowering her gun. “You try something, he starts shooting people.”

“There are hundreds of people here.” he says. “A lot of them cops.”

“You say that like you think I didn’t choose this.” she says, tucking the gun in her apron and walking around behind him.

He doesn’t move while she works on the collar. Maybe she’s lying about having a partner, maybe she isn’t. He’s not about to risk it.

Hailey is out there.

Wiring trails down to his wrists and then suddenly the cuffs are tightening.

“That’s a pressure switch.” she tells him. “Anyone loosens that cuff and this lovely device here goes off.”

He grimaces.

“The same goes for this.” she continues, pressing a plastic disc into his mouth and gently pressing his jaw closed.

Then she smooths duct tape over his mouth.

“Someone will find you soon.” she tells him, stapling a sheet of paper to his tie. “And that’s when the real fun starts.”

She turns and walks away, pushing her cart back around the partition.

Jay kneels there in enforced silence for a long time before the curtain pulls back.

Hailey steps through.

“Hey Jay, is this where you’re hiding –”

She cuts off as she sees him.

“Oh my god.” she gasps, sprinting toward him. “Jay!”

She reaches for the tape over his mouth first and he leans back, shaking his head.

“You … don’t want me to ungag you?” she asks, looking confused.

He nods his head toward the collar and she glances at it, frown deepening as she tracks the wire going from it to his mouth.

“There’s a pressure switch.” she guesses.

He nods and then jerks his head down again. She reaches for the paper and then pulls back, pulling her sleeve down over her hand and then pulling the paper off his chest.

“Superintendent Dixon,

Ten years ago you took everything from me. Now you’ll admit to what you did and apologize publicly for your crimes. You have until the close of the gala or Detective Halstead dies.

If someone attempts to disarm the device, I will detonate it.”

She looks up at him.

“They were planning to get you.” she says, jaw twitching. “I have to go find Voight. And the Superintendent. Just uh… stay here.”

He makes a face and she chuckles weakly.

“Hang in there.” she tells him. “We’ll figure this out.”

He nods and settles back on his heels, cuffed wrists resting carefully in his lap.

There’s so much he wishes he could tell her, starting with a description of the woman who’d attacked him and left him wired up like this.

Hailey’s back within minutes, followed by the Superintendent, Voight and the rest of their team.

“You hurt?” Voight asks.

Jay shakes his head.

“Did you see who did this to you?”

Jay nods.

“Be nice if we could get a statement.” Adam says, sitting back. “Though I’m guessing that’s why the pressure switch in his mouth.”

“Maybe he could write something down.” Kim suggests.

“Second pressure switch between his right wrist and the cuff.” Hailey says, biting her lip. “Even moving his hands has the risk of changing the pressure and setting it off.”

“Damn.” Kevin mutters. “These assholes really thought this through.”

Voight turns to the superintendent, holding up the letter.

“This is our best lead on who’s behind this. You have any idea what this is about?”

“No.” the man says, shaking his head. “I can’t think of anything that happened around that time that would mean this much to anyone.”

Voight frowns.

That the man is lying is a given. Pushing him will only make him clam up.

“Alright.” he says, shaking his head. “You should probably head back out there, entertain your guests and keep everyone calm. How long do we have before things wrap up here?”

“An hour and a half.” the man says, looking down at his watch. “Not much time to wrap this up with your only witness under a gag order.”

Voight nods, unimpressed by the joke.

“Tell me if you think of anything else that might help us.” he says.

The man nods and disappears back around the curtain. Voight turns to Adam.

“Find out everything you can about Dixon.” he orders. “I want to know what happened ten years ago.”

Adam nods and hurries off.

“Kim, Kevin look into the staff here.” Voight continues. “I’m guessing one of them is involved in this.”

He glances over at Jay who just nods.

“Figure out who.” Voight orders.

“Hang in there, Jay.” Kim says before following Kevin out of the backstage area.

“You got him?” Voight asks Hailey.

“Yeah.” she promises. “I’m not going anywhere.”

“Alright.” he says. “I’m going to go talk to a few people who would have known Dixon ten years ago. Fortunately plenty of them are here.”

She nods, sitting cross-legged next to Jay.

Voight has just finished an unproductive conversation with one of Dixon’s old cop buddies.

At least one of them definitely knows something but without being able to disclose what’s happening, he can’t push too hard.

Adam walks over.

“Hey boss.” he whispers. “I think I found something.”

Voight nods, motioning him away from the tables.

Once they reach a more isolated corner he turns.

“What do you have?”

“I pulled Dixon’s financials.” Adam says. “There’s some unusual payments. Every month like clockwork to an account at Western Union. Where the money was immediately pulled out the same day it was deposited.”

“By who?” Voight asks.

“I’m still working on that.” Adam says. “Waiting on a response to some inquiries. But that’s not all that’s interesting about them. The payments stop ten years ago.”

“So he was making blackmail payments until he got sick of it.” Voight surmises. “Took out whoever he was paying off.”

“Only now someone found out what he did and wants him to own up to it.” Adam says. “But why go after Jay to do it?”

“I think first we need to find out who they are.” Voight says. “The rest will fill itself in.”

There’s a commotion by the stage and they look up to see Jay walking up the steps, cuffed hands pressed against his right leg.

Voight looks around for any sign that would explain why his detective is moving, why he’s revealing the explosives to the crowd.

Hailey joins them.

“Another note got left just outside the curtains.” she fills in. “Kim and Kevin found it on their way back to check in. Our perp is tired of waiting. Wanted Jay at center stage. No further explanation.”

“Only forty five minutes left to the deadline.” Voight says. “Maybe they don’t actually want to kill Jay. This is their way of putting pressure on Dixon so they can avoid it.”

Jay sinks slowly to his knees, eyes darting around the crowd.

Looking for the person who’d placed the collar on him.

An overhead speaker crackles before a distorted voice echoes around the room.

“The police are supposed to serve and protect. In my life, Leonard Dixon did neither. He knows what he did. And he has one hour to publicly confess to what happened or I will detonate the explosives and kill this detective.”

Voight ignores the bedlam of the crowd.

This isn’t anything he doesn’t already know but something about the voice does tell him something. The voice might be altered but they can’t distort tone, or the slight quaver on the words.

“When do the payments start?” he asks Adam who checks his notes.

“Twenty years ago.” he answers.

“Check with Kim and Kevin.” Voight orders. “See if there are any nineteen year olds on the staff.”

“You think Dixon knocked someone up?” Adam asks.

“And then killed the mom so he wouldn’t have to pay child support under the table anymore.” Voight answers. “Only now their kid found out about it.”

“Detective Jay Halstead is an actual hero.” the voice continues. “Numerous commendations for bravery on his record. Don’t let him die for what you did, Dixon. Do the right thing for once in your miserable, pathetic life.”

Voight looks at Adam.

“Find me that kid.” he orders. “I’m going to go have another chat with Dixon.”

“You want me to come with?” Hailey asks.

“Stay here.” he orders. “Keep eyes on Jay.”

She nods, looking back at her partner.

They’d started their day early executing a warrant just as the sun had started to creep into the sky. Every member of the team had been planning to ditch the gala once their obligatory appearance had been made.

This hadn’t been in their plans and Jay’s posture reflects his exhaustion.

“Just hang in there partner.” she begs.

“I’m done asking, Dixon.” Voight presses. “My detective is on that stage right now, waiting to see if he’s going to get blown up tonight. I’d like to know why.”

“I’m still your superior officer, Voight.” the man snarls. “Don’t talk to me that way.”

Voight just raises an eyebrow.

“That might be changing.” Voight says. “Whoever you pissed off just made this public. You can’t hide from it forever so maybe it’s best if you get out in front of it.”

“I didn’t do anything.” Dixon insists. “Someone is attacking me to hurt the CPD. They don’t need an actual reason, just an obscure year range and a whole lot of bad publicity.”

Voight shakes his head.

“If Jay Halstead dies because you can’t own up to what you did you will never see the light of day again.” he snarls, turning to walk away.

The guy isn’t just an asshole, he’s an idiot. Voight hadn’t been kidding when he’d said that the public nature of this fiasco means that whatever had happened, whoever the man had killed, will come to light.

Unfortunately, it also means that Voight can’t just chuck him into the cage and employ a little tough love to get the answers that he needs.

He finds his team in the corner of the room, talking quietly amongst themselves and glancing repeatedly at where Jay is kneeling on the stage.

“Alright people.” he says as he joins them. “We’re running out of time here and Dixon isn’t talking.”

“I wouldn’t either if I was him.” Adam says. “Considering admitting to murder isn’t going to go well for him.”

“He did kill someone then.” Voight asks.

“Mallory Gibbons.” Adam answers. “We found one nineteen year old on staff here tonight. Eliza Gibbons. Born to a single mother with no father on the birth certificate. Her mother was murdered ten years ago, just a few weeks after the last payment that Dixon made.”

“We got eyes on Eliza?” Voight asks.

“She was working tonight but nobody has seen her in the last thirty minutes.” Kim answers.

“We need to find her.” Voight presses. “Before she kills Jay. The three of you spread out. Find Eliza. I’m gonna take this information back to Dixon. Maybe I can convince him to do the right thing.”

Just as the team starts to spread out a shot rings out.

Voight looks to the stage, seeing Jay lying on his back. Hailey brushes past him, already rushing to her partner.

“Nobody approaches the good detective.” the disembodied voice orders, bringing her to a halt. “He’s still alive and he will stay that way for the next twenty minutes. After that, his fate is up to you Dixon.”

Voight scowls, stalking toward where he’d last seen Dixon.

But the man is gone.

“Bastard is running.” he scowls.

He looks back at the stage. Jay hasn’t moved, still lying uncomfortably on his back.

Is he unconscious? Or just afraid that the struggle of getting back will cause too much movement in his wrist and set off the bomb?

“Hey.” he calls, getting the attention of one of Dixon’s assistants. “Did you see where Dixon went?”

“He walked off that way.” the man says. “A couple minutes ago.”

Voight nods and hurries off in the indicated direction.

He catches up with Dixon just outside the catering entrance, slamming him up against the wall.

“Going somewhere?” he growls.

“Get off me.” Dixon argues.

“Not if you’re just going to run off like a chicken shit instead of facing up to what you did like a man.” Voight growls.

“I didn’t do anything.” Dixon protests.

“Not even to Mallory Gibson?” Voight presses.

The man pales.

“Nothing happened with Mallory Gibson.” he insists.

“No?” Voight questions. “You just paid her money every month like clockwork for almost ten years and then she mysteriously died and you didn’t have to anymore.”

“I don’t know what -”

He cuts off abruptly as Voight slams the wall next to his head.

“You knocked her up.” he growls. “She got pregnant and made you pay for years so that she wouldn’t tell anyone who would listen what you did. What happened, Dixon? Did she ask you for more money? Or did you just get tired of paying?”

He freezes.

“I-”

“My detective is going to die in about ten minutes if you don’t man up.” Voight yells. “I know what happened. And before we’re done here tonight, everyone is going to know. Now do I have to march up on that stage and tell the world, or are you going to do it?”

“I… I’ll do it.” Dixson says, hands splaying out. “I’ll do it.”

Voight pulls him away from the wall, dragging him back toward the ballroom.

The crowd parts as he shoves him forward. No disembodied voice stops them as he shoves him up the stairs onto the stage.

“Ten years ago.” Dixon shouts. “I murdered a woman by the name of Mallory Gibson. That’s what I did and I’m sorry. Don’t hurt Detective Halstead for it.”

“Tell them why.” the voice says.

“So that I wouldn’t have to keep making payments to her so that she wouldn’t tell everyone that I got her pregnant.”

“She just wanted you to support your child.” the voice says. “Child support that she couldn’t legally sue you for because you wouldn’t publicly claim me.”

“I know.” Dixon says. “I was stupid and I… I shouldn’t have.”

“You’re a police officer.” Eliza snarls. “You were supposed to know better.”

Another shot rings out and Dixon drops to the stage with a bullet hole in his forehead. Voight turns, trying to track the shot.

“You can call bomb squad now.” Eliza says, now walking into the ballroom instead of speaking over the loudspeaker. “Help Detective Halstead. I got what I wanted.”

Voight grabs his phone to call the bomb squad. Hailey jumps onto the stage, crawling over to her partner.

“Jay?”

His eyes are closed but blink open at her call.

“Just hang on partner.” she says, searching for injuries. “Bomb squad is on the way now and we’ll get that thing off you.”

He nods, eyes slipping closed only to fly back open as she presses her hands against the hole in his stomach.

His muffled groan breaks her heart.

“Not much longer.” she soothes.

He’s quiet until bomb squad arrives, lying motionless until the bomb, cuffs, and gag have been removed.

As bomb squad finally backs away, letting paramedics in to treat him, he finally speaks.

“Do you think this gets us out of the next gala?”

Hailey chuckles.

“Not a chance, partner.”

#whumptober 2023 #no. 30 #not much longer #Chicago PD #fic #Jay Halstead #bomb threat

6 notes · View notes

booksandchainmail · 1 year

Text

Pale 7.8 extra

Interesting, I think this is the first extra material we've had that is just normal text? (ie not in-universe writings, not multimedia)

Very interested to get to see more of Lucy's mom. So far we have her meeting Avery's parents... I wonder if Verona's dad was invited? Also curious if this is just a general getting to know child's friend's parents meeting, or if they want to talk over specific concerns

We were friends, before, as much because of the girls putting us in close proximity as anything.

I hadn't thought of Verona's mother as being friends with Lucy's, it's never come up before. Though I know my parents didn't remain close to any people they spent time with because I was friends with their children as a kid

“Don’t even get me started on work schedules,” Brett told her.

Taken by itself, nothing Verona's dad is saying would necessarily be a red flag, but combined with everything we've already seen of him it bothers me. Immediately going into complaining about work when asked what he does, the grousing about Verona that doesn't seem lighthearted to me...

“Is she getting along with either of the two more?” Connor asked. He looked at Kelsey, who frowned.

don't dig for information like that! If there was something going on, let her tell you in her own time. Also, if Avery was dating one of the others, and they weren't out either, this would be a great way to tip off their parents.

It’s like her skin crawls if she’s in my company for more than five seconds, she runs off to her room or leaves the house at the next opportunity.

now this one is a red flag

“This was weeks of moments,” Brett said. “I was looking things up and thinking about oppositional defiant disorder.”

of course you were

I can’t talk to her about my work, basic household needs, school and homework…

notably absent from this is her own interests. Why would your work be the first thing you think about talking with your child about?

So clever in many ways that she outsmarted her way out of doing well in school.

I consider this a valid strategy, if sometimes self-sabotaging

"She took up habitual lying…” “It’s that imagination,” Jasmine said. “She had no outlet. She stopped art, and she had nothing, so she started telling stories.”

...hmmm. Well obviously she can't do this now, and doesn't seem to need it, but I'm curious what was going on with that, if it was really just an over-active imagination.

Also, man but everything Brett says about Verona is framed in a negative light

Except, I suppose I’m lucky she’s slow to develop. She’s the most kid-like of the three, I think. A late bloomer.

hahahahahaha

“When she and Lucy were old enough to know how to navigate the web but young enough to not know about internet history, let’s just say the searches I saw raised a few eyebrows. Only when Verona was there.”

yeah that tracks. Both for Verona's character and for that age range

“I thought about one of those wilderness survival retreats. You know those? Send the kid out into the woods to rough it, disconnect from technology and outside influences, make them build their own fires, teach them self-reliance and discipline, respect for authority?”

oh hate that. And I liked camping as a kid! But why the fuck are you bringing "respect for authority" into perfectly good outside time

He said that as much as I or Lucy might want to look at this as a resolution, a release, it isn’t. All of that stress and worry and lack of resolution is still there. It’s not fixed or better. She’s certainly not happier or healthier in the wake of it.

:( I'd like to think she got some closure from it... but she certainly isn't less stressed, though there are obviously extenuating circumstances

“I wanted to ask about Julie Hardy,” Connor said. “Going back to the subject of influences-”

...and this would be the catch with Avery's dad. And also the reason why Ms. Hardy's been so careful about interacting with her.

I was awkward and struggled and I tried on a lot of different hats and explored a lot of different identities as a way of diagnosing and trying to fix what was wrong with me. When it was just regular puberty.

“Avery has expressed some concerns to her mom. I was hoping to get a clear picture about why, but… Brett’s take is only half a picture, isn’t it?”

good that they're talking about this, and not taking him at face value

Verona takes in stuff and digests it privately, and her mom’s similar to her in that. The thought processes behind the scenes can be impenetrable sometimes.

hmm. Not sure what I have to say here, but I want to leave a not for myself about similarities between Verona and her mother. Wonder if that's making things with her dad worse?

“I just-” Jasmine started, stopped, shook her head. “If she’s going to be pushed to take action, I want it to be later. When she’s equipped, educated, grounded and secure in herself. Change the world, you know?”

I have some bad news for you about what's going on this summer

“And if you don’t have those things, that grounding, education, preparation, what happens? Another Paul incident.”

or considerably worse

OH! New section! Lore section! Murderer section! Going to analyze this excruciatingly:

Non-italics likes John, which narrows it down to the Kennet Others (no one else knows him). "Everything falls into place" so there's more than just power at stake? Both Kennet and "the rest of us" are taken care of (wording seems to imply once italics takes the seat). Who is that? The rest of the Kennet Others? There's not all that many of them.

Hmm! “The girls. Miss picked some scarily good ones." This would imply to me that Miss was not part of their group. I'd already been leaning towards her not being involved, but this is further confirmation.

italics doesn't want to kill them. General antipathy to violence (would be weird for someone aiming for a war seat) or good feelings to them in particular?

italics was also opposed to the school. OH! finally answer to something someone asked me way back when I was speculating about why Miss picked the girls: if she was trying to keep them controlled, why give them access to the school. Well besides the fact that I'm less suspicious of Miss now, going to the school gives them access to knowledge and power that isn't routed through the murder suspects.

"playing our parts"... kinda makes me think Fae, but that's a tenuous connection. And "we all"... so there's more than just these two.

Very ominous all over!

#booksandchainmail reads pale #pale #wildbow

12 notes · View notes