Can we like, take a moment to appreciate oatmeal please? Like oatmeal porridges are just bloody brilliant. Especially as dinner.
You don’t need to make it too sweet. It’s perfect with a little honey or like a spring of jaggery. Once I made a bowl but then the homies invaded my house with beer and pizzas so oatmeal was forgotten in the fridge. Had it for breakfast and wow overnighted these things make you feel so full. Didn’t eat anything for lunch either
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something the women in my family are absolutely flabbergasted by every time it comes up is the fact that i don’t own a scale.
“how do you know how much you weigh??” they cry.
“i don’t.” i simply respond.
“you look thinner, have you lost weight?” they ask at christmas.
“i dunno.” i say as i check on the turkey.
“you look bigger, have you gained weight?” they probe, as if my weight rests on their shoulders.
“i’m not sure, but it’s fine if i have.” i respond with a casualness they cannot comprehend.
“don’t you want to know if you’ve lost or gained?” they inquire over cups of coffee and a plate of untouched cookies.
“i do.” i take a sip. “which is why i don’t need to know.”
“we don’t understand.” they say.
“i’ll drive myself mad if i know. it’s been a question i’ve been looking for the answer to since i was in the seventh grade and my weight was the topic of conversation for the first time; the stretch marks on my calves puberty brought being questioned and condemned. and so i started weighing myself once a day. then twice a day. i gained weight as i grew and was told to stop. i got depressed when i was 16 and the weight i gained was more concerning than the scars on my thighs. the critiques turned to compliments during my first year of college when i’d started skipping meals and my body had to feed itself because i wouldn’t. everyday i stepped on the scale and smiled as i watched that number get smaller and smaller. hunger felt like victory. i started doing drugs that took away my appetite and then my strength. and started feeling guilt when my stomach felt full. and suddenly every time i looked in the mirror i hated what i saw. the more weight i lost, the better i was supposed to feel. each remark on another part of my body lost felt like a slap to the face. i was told i looked good but i knew i wasn’t good enough. and so i tried harder. and then i started to get dizzy when i stood. and i ignored it like i’d learned to ignore my hunger. and then one day at work i dropped like the weight that was never enough after i bending at the waist to grab a milk cap from the floor. and when the darkness faded, i was surrounded by panic as an ambulance was called. and then i was tested and prodded and poked because they thought something was wrong with my heart. and the problem persisted but they never found out why. but i’d known all along. and then i left home and its scale behind. and moved into a new home that was mine. so i bought plates and sheets and art for the walls. but i didn’t buy a scale. then every time i walked down an aisle i’d see the them and pause. and i’d think about the hunger i now kept at bay. and even though i didn’t know how much i weighed, i didn’t notice my body had changed. and i’d think about how i hadn’t been dizzy for months. and how i hadn’t fainted for longer. and then i’d keep on walking. and now most days i like how i look.”
“but don’t you want to be skinny?” comes their quiet response.
“i want to be myself in whatever body i have.”
they stare in disbelief. so i shrug my shoulders, and grab a cookie. and i smile at them as i swallow the first bite.
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𝗦𝘂𝗽𝗲𝗿 𝗖𝗵𝗼𝗰𝗼𝗹𝗮𝘁𝗲 𝗖𝗵𝗲𝘄𝘆 𝗖𝗼𝗼𝗸𝗶𝗲 𝗥𝗲𝗰𝗶𝗽𝗲!
As always you can replace certain ingredients to suit dietry requirements and as always, my baking is a 'wing it' style!
𝗜𝗻𝗴𝗿𝗲𝗱𝗶𝗲𝗻𝘁𝘀
• ½ cup granulated sugar (100 g)
• 1 cup brown sugar (220 g), packed
• 1/2 teaspoon salt
• ½ cup melted unsalted butter (115 g)
• 1 egg
• 1 egg yolk
• 1 teaspoon Vanilla Extract
• 2 cups all-purpose flour (250 g)
• ½ teaspoon baking soda
• 4 oz milk or semi-sweet chocolate chunks(110 g)
• 4 oz dark chocolate chunk(110 g), or your preference
I used the Google conversion from cups to grams.
𝗣𝗿𝗲𝗽𝗮𝗿𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻
1) In a large bowl, whisk together the sugars, salt, and butter until a paste forms with no lumps.
2)Whisk in the egg and vanilla, beating until light ribbons fall off the whisk and remain for a short while before falling back into the mixture.
3) Sift in the flour and baking soda, then fold the mixture with a spatula. Be careful not to overmix - if you mix (or roll out) cookie dough too much, you'll add excess air to the dough, causing it to rise and then fall flat in the oven. Overmixing the dough can also lead to excess gluten development, resulting in dense cookies (which is what happened with these cookies but they still taste good!)
4) Fold in the chocolate chunks, then chill the dough for at least 30 minutes. For a more intense toffee-like flavor and deeper colour, chill the dough overnight. The longer the dough rests, the more complex its flavour will be.
5) Preheat oven to 350°F (180°C).
6) Line a baking sheet with parchment paper.
7) Scoop the dough with an ice-cream scoop onto a parchment paper-lined baking sheet, leaving at least 4 inches (10 cm) of space between cookies and 2 inches (5 cm) of space from the edges of the pan so that the cookies can spread evenly.
8) Bake for 12-15 minutes, or until the edges have started to barely brown.
9) Cool before serving but to be fair warm cookies are legit 🤌
What's your fave cookie flavour?
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