#dont mind me just getting emotional about this at... 10:30 am

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

incredibly low stakes and online aita post; ☁ to find it later.

aita for blocking a person on discord without telling them why?

so, i like the occasional online rp, and was hankering for a new one, so i found a tumblr blog that posts people searching for rps to do. i interacted with a post that seemed interesting, and the blogger and i talked briefly in ims. they seemed okay, and they liked me, so we shared discords to continue talking and plotting our rp.

as the conversation progressed in discord, i started getting some bad vibes from this person. nothing too bad, just things i kind of disliked. for instance, they shared some political opinions that we did not see eye-to-eye on, details of how they lost their virginity, and would get upset if i "took too long to respond". mind you, this is the first time we met. there were some smaller things as well, vague preferences or how they worded things that irked me, but not as big of deals. basically, this stuff kind of piled up as the convo progressed, i decided i wouldnt have fun rping with them, and i ended up blocking them.

i did not communicate to them that any of the stuff they were doing bothered me. i did not encourage them to overshare information about their political preferences or sexual experiences, nor did i tell them afterwards that it made me uncomfortable - although i did try to change the topic of conversation. i simply stopped responding for while, they send in several messages trying to egg me to respond (to the tune of "are you there???" "??????" "hellooooo???" "dude, you cant just ghost me like this" "i see you online") over the course of around 20 mins., and then i hit the block button.

shortly after that happened, they started messaging me on tumblr again calling me "petty", "immature", and telling me to "eat shit and die". i then blocked them on tumblr. lmao.

so! i get i might have been the asshole because i didnt communicate with them well enough. however! i am a big fan of curating online spaces. i love blocking people. i also love it when other people block me, if they dislike me, because i dont want to interact with people i dislike, nor ones that dislike me. i have been in their shoes before (being blocked by some random person online who i had just met basically) and my reaction to it is "lmao". i genuinely dont care that much. i then get on with my life because i dont think it matters. i get feeling super bad if you were good friends with the person and knew them for a while, but we werent. we had just met. i dont think the level of betrayal was high enough to make me blocking them a huge emotional turmoil. i wouldnt have given this a second thought until they sent me the messages calling me a pos afterwards.

if it helps any, this all took place earlier tonight. i liked the post this morning, they reached out to me this afternoon, we talked in tumblr ims for about 10 mins., then discord for about 1 hour, i stopped responding for 30 mins. whilst they spammed me with requests to reply, i blocked them, then about 5 mins later they sent me the tumblr ims. i knew them for only a few hours. also we are both over 18, although im older by about 4 years and, frankly, i think their immaturity showed in our convo lol.

so, aita for blocking a person without telling them why beforehand? thanks for reading ✌

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

[headcansxfanfictions]

FANFICTION Its 1:30 am so i wrote this out of no where

PG-13: talk of sexual themes but no sexual acts

TW: character worries about SA

Plot: Asexual Illumi finds himself having a heat unexpectedly after taking suppressants for too long. The closest safe place is Hisoka’s penthouse. Illumi just makes it in time.

PART 1

Hisoka was alarmed when Illumi Zoldyck showed up at his penthouse in full heat.

“Hisoka Im sorry I needed somewhere safe.” Illumi pants holding on to the door frame and shaking from trying to not to collapse.

Hisoka isn’t alarmed easily but right know Illumi seems 10 times more vulnerable then he has ever seen the man.

Illumi stumbles forward and Hisoka catches him. Illumi’s scent is amazing and Hisoka has to mentally slap himself.

Hisoka half caries Illumi to his bedroom. “I almost didn’t make it here,” Illumi starts to cry.

The sobs send chills through Hisoka, Illumi never cries he hardly ever shows emotion. That being said he has never seen Illumi in heat before so maybe this is normal for him?

Illumi is laid down on the bed and Hisoka sits next to him waiting for Illumi to say more.

“I-I almost didn’t make it. I could have died or worse, raped and left pregnant. Hisoka I was so scared. I almost didn’t get away.“ Hisoka hears Illumi’s deep voice break for the first time.

“Illumi you did make it though, you just stay here. You’ll be safe.” Maybe its his alpha instincts but Hisoka has a sudden strong urge to protect Illumi at all cost while he is in heat.

Despite his reputation for being promiscuous and constantly horny, at the age of 26 Hisoka is actually able to control his alpha very well. Yes, Illumi’s heat is effecting him but he respects Illumi enough to push that aside as much as he can.

“Illumi, I’ll be back in a moment I just need to go get some things. Is there anything medicine you usually take?”

“I don’t know,” Illumi’s breathing is ragged, “haven’t had a heat in years… suppressants.”

“You’re on suppressants? Was this heat expected?”

“No,” Illumi writhes struggle for words.

“Never mind we can talk later let me go get you somethings. I’ll be back as fast as I can.” With that Hisoka leaves the bedroom and heads swiftly for the kitchen. He takes two pill bottles from the cabinet and takes a pill from the first one; a suppressant of his own. He doesn’t usually take them but has them for emergencies like this to prevent him from going into rut. Then he gets a glass of water and a thermometer and heads back to Illumi.

Illumi looks worse than when he left. He is read hot and writhing trying desperately to hold himself back and maintain some dignity.

“Illumi here, something for the pain.” Hisoka helps Illumi take the pain medicine and drink some water.

“Thank you,” Illumi whispers through his ragged breathing.

Hisoka then used the forehead thermometer to check Illumi, 101.3F, he’ll be okay, Hisoka will watch it.

“Do you need anything else?” Hisoka asks then hesitantly adds, “I can help you if you want me to… I’m an alpha you know.”

“No,“ Illumi whispers immediately. “I-I dont like doing that.” Illumi cries harder.

“Hisoka I hate this.” Illumi feels scared and small, like being 17 again locked in his room having his first heat. Illumi doesn’t like to talk about it but he hates the idea of sex or anything sexual. It disgusts him. Heats are the only time he ever has sexual feeling and it is hell for him. This is why he always takes suppressants. He has only had 3 heats prior to this; once that first time at 17 again at 19 and again at 21. He was supposed to let himself have one every other year but last year it had been too difficult to make himself do it so against the advice of his doctor he had stayed on the pill illegally. He had been fine up until a couple hours ago when it had hit him like a freight train and he found himself far from home unable to protect himself.

“Okay okay, it was just an offer.” Hisoka watches Illumi curly up on his side, slick is wetting throw his pants.

“Wanna put something more comfortable on? Im gonna go grab some towels to put under you so you can stay clean.” Its unlike Hisoka to be this serious, especially about something that could warrant many sex jokes however the vulnerability Illumi is showing is enough of a shock to make him grow up for the time being.

Illumi hums is appreciation as Hisoka lays the bed with fresh towels and helps illumi into a nightgown. He leaves Illumi’s underwear on not wanting to make him feel unsafe.

Illumi finally falls asleep and Hisoka takes this opportunity to braid the man’s long raven hair so that it won’t be tangled with all the writhing and thrashing that will occur once he wakes.

#hunter x hunter #illumi zoldyck #hisoka morow #fanfic #omegaverse #asexual illumi #asexual #omega illumi #alpha hisoka #Illumi fanfic #hunter x hunter fanfic #hxh illumi #hisoka #fanfiction #hunter x hunter fanfiction #hxh #hxh fanfic #hxh 2011 #pg13

[quodekash]

okay, two things to say here

one: pran's loving stare <33

two: HOW THE HELL IS PAT'S LEG DOING THAT??? HIS FOOT IS POINTING INWARDS

THE ENTIRETY OF HIS LEFT LEG HAS TWISTED AND ROTATED COMPLETELY???

AM I JUST LOOKING AT IT WRONG OR IS PAT A CONTORTIONIST

its entirely possible he's just double jointed. i also have a lot of double joints

buT IM STILL CONFUSED BECAUSE LEGS DO NOT WORK LIKE THAT

OH

WAIT I GOT IT

HIS TOES ARE TUCKED UNDER THE CALF OF HIS OTHER LEG

IM SUCH AN IDIOT

SORRY GUYS, FALSE ALARM

ah shoot i got distracted for an hour watching commentary youtubers

HE SAID THE THING

THE THING THAT THEY ALWAYS SAY

GNERJDKBSGF

IM CLAPPING MY HANDS LIKE A HAPPY TODDLER RN

BUT YOU ALSO SAID THAT

YOU ALSO CANT LIVE WITHOUT HIM

TELL HIM THAT

OMG

DID TIAN FREAKING SPILL THE BEANS ON PAT??? THATS SO FUNNY I LOVE HIM SO MUCH

his feet are normal again, dont worry guys

(guys being me. im pretty sure i was the only one freaking out about his foot but i just need a little bit of validation)

IM SOBBING

HE SAID IT

VOIEPSDHBGOVULJRBFGOBUVRPDOUFGVBNREDOUGJBVNEIRUJKDFBGNEVORIFDJLBGNBOIERUJKDFGOBIJKLERDFOIGJLBENRVOIDFJLGBVEOIRFDJLBNGBIOREJLVFDB

KISS YOUR FREAKING BOYFRIEND KISS YOUR FREAKING BOYFRIEND KISS YOUR FREAKING BOYFRIEND

H EL P

IM NOT OKAY

AAAAAAAAAAA

HHHHHHHHSBGHJSDBFX

I THINK IM DYING

THEY MEAN WAY TOO MUCH TO ME

JUST FREAKIN KILL ME ALREADY

HOW DOES ONE DEAL WITH THIS

HOW DO YOU FUNCTION WHEN PATPRAN ARE SO FREAKING PERFECT

bro just looked directly at the camera

THEYRE SUCH HUSBANDS

I LOVE THEM SO MUCH

is it love.

okay never mind, it's not love lmao

hell yes

husbands

such husbandly husbands

ERODJFLBHGNKJRDF

THEYRE ALL DOING THE 'I CANT LIVE WITHOUT YOU' LINE AND ITS KILLING ME, I LOVE IT

ah frick

im just remembering that thing about how heart transplant patients only live up to like 10 years after getting a heart transplant.

and that statistic is for people who listen to their doctors and dont go to a mountain and dont do exercise they should not and dont eat food they should not etc etc, so tian's life expectancy is probably even less than that.

ITS OKAY, LET'S IGNORE SCIENCE, WE'RE IGNORING SCIENCE

HES A FICTIONAL CHARACTER, SCIENCE DOESNT HAVE TO APPLY

NOT TODAY, SATAN

i hate you so much for this jude

why would you send me that tiktok

everyone spam @judebilation with hate for emotionally destroying me and also probably you

(im just kidding i love them too much to be super mad about this, and also FICTION MEANS SCIENCE DOESNT APPLY, WE DONT HAVE TO THINK ABOUT SCIENCE, so to jude: i forgive youuuu)

HE'S READING ITTT

PLEASE THE MUSIC WAS SO DRAMATIC THERE

IM JUST TRYNA EAT MY CHEEZLES MAN BUT I NEARLY CHOKED ON THEM

ITS SO FREAKING FUNNY

HOLY HELL

i finally finished the episode! it only took me (checks watch) 16 and a half hours to do

and if you wanna be nitpicky, technically it took 37 days and 30 minutes to start, and then 16 and a half hours to finish after that

and i still have an entire episode to go, so let's get right to it (after i pee and make a hot chocolate, cos i need emotional support)

#quodekash watches our skyy 2 despite desperately needing to sleep #our skyy 2 #our skyy 2 x bad buddy #atots #a tale of thousand stars #a tale of thousand stars our skyy 2 #a tale of a thousand stars #1000 stars #phutian #phupatian #bad buddy series #patpran #pran parakul #pranpat #bad buddy the series #ohmnanon #earthmix #ohm pawat #earth pirapat #mix sahaphap #nanon korapat

[meatriarchived]

𝘒𝘕𝘖𝘞𝘐𝘕𝘎  𝘠𝘖𝘜𝘙  𝘗𝘈𝘙𝘛𝘕𝘌𝘙  𝘞𝘌𝘓𝘓  𝘊𝘈𝘕  𝘗𝘖𝘛𝘌𝘕𝘛𝘐𝘈𝘓𝘓𝘠  𝘔𝘈𝘒𝘌  𝘞𝘙𝘐𝘛𝘐𝘕𝘎  𝘛𝘖𝘎𝘌𝘛𝘏𝘌𝘙  𝘈  𝘓𝘖𝘛  𝘌𝘈𝘚𝘐𝘌𝘙.

NAME :  renee! c: ( government-assigned actual middle name fbnskdj )

PRONOUNS :  they / she

PREFERENCE  OF  COMMUNICATION : ims on tumblr was the normal for me cause i never really did disc til this blog but i Am mostly chatting on disc nowadays. i can be slow / notifs may be funky so i always say to not like... get upsetti if i take a bit to reply or i forget to my mind is an actual fog-haze most of the time, time to me gets very hazy and i wont really realize days have passed me by at times so. i ask patience for that front c;

NAME  OF  MUSE(S) : oh hell, we are primarily in Texas Trenches here so...... maria & ana flores, danny [ alejo-osorio, not 'gaines' ugly ass name- ], Mother nancy s.awyer, thomas h.ewitt / le.atherface, our mom luda mae he.witt, elizabeth 'birdie' callaway [ oc ], constance 'simmi' simone [ oc ] + my other trials kiddos.

EXPERIENCE  /  HOW  LONG  (  MONTHS  /  YEARS? ) :  writing in general - since 3rd grade. rping here on tumby - since about.... 2014.....? idk really. its been at last 10+ yrs. ive been in a couple different r.pcs but horrors' typically been such a home to return to.

BEST  EXPERIENCE :  point blank all honesty? these last 2-3 months since i came back. genuinely. like ive had a good share of fun and silly moments over the years yes. but. something about the mutuals ive met coming back from a near 2 yr hiatus to this blog has been really heartwarming to me. i havent had remotely as welcoming or fun and silly times connecting with the actual people behind the blog, behind the muse, as i have here. i never had so many wild out of pocket verses or ships, never had affiliates/mains/etc, never had near as much fun plotting or simply gushing over muses and their dynamics in those 10+ yrs being here on and off than i have in this lil texas corner of the horror r.pc. like the last few years have Not Been Kind in my offsite life, and having a massive writers block due to offsite struggles for those years near killed my love for writing as a whole - not just rping but just. writing in general. and while that blocks still not fully gone rn ( staring my 100+ inbox rn in the fucking eyes ) just? the fact that i feel alot more connected to a point with those ive met here this time around has genuinely made me feel alot happier in these few weeks than i have in quite a while. so far this takes the cake by a complete landslide in terms of best experiences ♡ and much of that is very much thanks to those mutuals.

RP  PET  PEEVES  /  DEALBREAKERS :  look. ive been here a long time. ive been part of r.pcs that have had alot of shit stirred in it. im going to be 30 in january lmao and my offsite life has more than enough of its fair fucking share of bullshit. i dont have the mental nor emotional capacity to deal with the kinds of online pettiness or silliness that has cropped up. ive had more of my share in people who are ma.nipulative, ab.usive, etc that i dont really care to engage with in a space that i really try hard to ensure stays as peaceful and as much of a solace to myself as possible. if you're chill and just here to vibe? then we're completely gucci lol. but i dont respond well in the slightest to guilt trips, or passive aggressive attempts at getting interactions or anything. it makes me wildly uncomfortable - seen it too much, deal with similar way too much w people in my offsite life and im honestly so tired and jaded to it all. im here to chill, chat about muses, go to Texas, just. relax and take it easy. got enough shit goin' on offsite as is let me just have fun here :') like literally just. read my rules, dont push me or my boundaries, let us just have a good time and chill leave the petty shit at the door im begging.

MUSE  PREFERENCES  FLUFF,   ANGST  OR  SMUT :  okay look- FNJKS my go-to, my habit, is always gonna be Angst / the horrors. its been that way for many years. you can ask my offsite co-writer/friend, she's literally been Tormented by me for nearly two decades now- FKJSDA but seriously, it doesnt entirely matter. angst, fluff, horror, etc etc like. i enjoy where the character takes me - if its gearing towards angst? then imma be as heartbreaking as possible. if its sweet fluff? i hope you like cotton candy cause im stuffing an entire blob of it in your mouth like- i just enjoy the dynamics between characters and where that can lead them - and i fucking love the dynamics the pals and i have been cooking these few weeks theyre delicious and i love them all ♡ smut however..... my enemy. nfsjdk its noted already in my rules im not gonna go into it but. smuts only vaguely referenced on a sideblog that im keeping to a very small pool of people im comfortable with so; i over-criticize my writing it & constantly delete/restart it so. dont expect to see me post anything here on main anymore re: smut fgnsdkd

PLOTS  OR  MEMES :  funny how it used to be strictly memes but, ive found myself after returning heavily preferring at least SOME plotting before i feel comfortable just winging it in responses. c; its not required, nor necessary, but it helps to be chatting at least ooc about the muses so i have a better idea of how to write something out.

LONG  OR  SHORT  REPLIES :  OKAY SO LOOK- i cannot begin to say how unhinged my fucking writing has been overall here cause truly? my responses on other blogs used to be so minimal??? read: NORMAL. and yet here i am now in this little corner dishing out fuckin' novels half the time like who the fuck am i- lmao its been so much fun building those longer responses up tho like?? and the fact that ya'll enjoy them so much makes me happy but also i am Sorry not only for the novels in my responses but also my novel tangents in dms like goddamn i dont know how to shut-

BEST TIME TO WRITE :  for me it used to be solely in the dead of night cause thats when all the day chaos finally quieted down but. now for the most part its just. whenever i get a burst of energy and motivation to.

ARE  YOU  LIKE  YOUR  MUSE(S) :  uhh................. if i HAD to choose its like... maybe a gentle mix of danny / simmi / ana? mostly simmi in terms of just. resting bitch face, keeps to themself, idk fnsdk but overall not? really? they got some shared snippets that i do but as more of an overall? not in the slightest i think lol

TAGGED  BY  :   scruffed from across the dash from kels uwu TAGGING  :  literally any of ya'll if you wanna do it too c:

#cant believe i had to put a readmore on this cause i can never just Write something of Normal Fucking Length- FSBK #[ 𝟎𝟎 ] ── * 𝐎𝐎𝐂. { renee. }

[galpalaven]

interview with a 'fic' writer

thanks for tagging me isabella!!! @bitchesofostwick

1. how many works do you have on AO3?

35 currently

2. what’s your total AO3 word count?

293,015

caveat - i need you all to know i am in the process of becoming a professional writer and the amount of words i have written in the past like. 5 years is easily like 5 times that number fkdsljl

3. what are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Echoes (385)

Old World Luxury (229)

Close Call (200)

midnight snack (144)

Sleepless in Skyhold (127)

all of these are old as hell except the fourth one which is a baldur's gate 3 fic lmao. most of my fics average around 30-60

4. do you respond to comments? why or why not?

I do! Mostly out of courtesy - they took the time to comment when comment culture is long dead, and I appreciate it especially since I am so inactive on AO3 lmfao

5. what’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

Injured - I forgot about this fic but HAHA it's about Zevran helping Kira deal with the effects of the Calling. There is no real happy ending. They have no cure yet - it's just a snapshot of the pain she's going through.

6. what’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?

ohhh it's been long since deleted but a fic of Modern AU! Nox and [redacted] on the night before their wedding having a nightcap to calm their nerves. it got me into my writing program ;w; it's still one of my fave things i have written. i want to write something similar for cove/elara or even for ilya and nox in their book series someday

7. do you write crossovers?

nnnnot technically? though in the bloomic fic i've been working on, penny's friends are implied to be cove and elara from our life, her bff liora is dating baxter from the same game, and dani from our life 2 is also in the friend group. but i wouldnt tag them as a crossover fic bc thats not really the point and its also a very vague reference anyway lmao not to say that i dont think about taking characters from one universe and shoving them into aus all the time tho lmao ALTHOUGH I HAD A VERRRRYYY SPECIFIC AND SELF INDULGENT HARVEST MOON/FULLMETAL ALCHEMIST CROSSOVER THAT NEVER SAW THE LIGHT OF DAY LMAO

8. have you ever received hate on a fic?

mmmm i think back when i was posting on deviantart i got some mean comments but on ao3 i have not. i have received - odd comments, though. shout out to the spanking commenter you were something special

9. do you write smut? if so, what kind?

occasionally, yes, but I've only ever written it for Nox and Ilya and they are the kind of smut fics that are mostly just emotions sdlkfjf however. none of them are on AO3 anymore

10. have you ever had a fic stolen?

yes but i can't remember what exactly happened. it was more of a reupload with a 'credit to x' thing but i did get it taken down. it was like. 7 years ago now fjslkd

11. have you ever had a fic translated?

not unless someone did it without telling me lmao

12. have you ever co-written a fic before?

nope my ass is too controlling and picky for that lmao

13. what’s your all time favorite ship?

is it bad of me to say nox and ilya since they are ocs jflkds im sorry im in original writing hell they are on my Mind

14. what’s a WIP that you want to finish, but don’t think you ever will?

like 75% of the shit on my AO3 is stuff that i had every intention of writing and finishing but never did and probably won't lmfao. i am so sorry.

15. what are your writing strengths?

characterization, emotions, physical descriptions

16. what are your writing weaknesses?

INTRODUCTIONS AND WORLDBUILDING FJKDSLFJS

17. what are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

Why not? If the characters speak another language and you're doing your proper research to make sure it's correct, go for it.

18. what was the first fandom you wrote for?

....twilight? i think? or maybe the max ride books when i was a kid? not that any of that was published mind they were also very oc-centric lmao

19. what’s a fandom/ship you haven’t written for yet, but want to?

i am always writing and i have fics for fandoms you couldnt even imagine no but seriously i am working on some fic rn for Blooming Panic, Our Life, and Andromeda Six bc i have been in a VN mood lately so keep an eye out? question mark? EDIT: actually better answer - Avatar: The Last Airbender. i've been wanting to write zuko/oc fic for ages but havent done it yet and dunno if i ever will

20. what’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

I don't go back to it anymore bc it's so old but Echoes was the first baby I ever finished and it sits in a very special place in my heart. The second one was a massive fictober piece for __________ that i have since privated but won me my first and only NaNoWriMo so that's also p special.

#tag game #long post

[bitchybylershipper]

alright yall just got home from my first experience with an overnight camp and i have a few things to say

on the way up there we were driving along a river and i genuinely got so excited about it i started shaking and then my only thought was "i should probably go outside more often"

so i wasnt talking to anyone on the way up i was just chillin in the back of the 15 passenger van and then the girls in the seats in front of me wanted to talk to me or whatever on the last stretch of the drive so they were throwing goldfish at me to get my attention 💀

when everyone was trying to figure out which bunk they were taking it sounded like everyone was trying to decide on a sex position

it was like 11:30 and the lights were off and one of the girls was walking like REALLY heavy like a goddamn elephant or something and i was like jesus christ who tf is that

people forgot to turn off their school alarms so at 5:30 i woke up to a dog barking sound and it woke up everyone in the cabin EXCEPT the person whose alarm it was 💀

at 7:15 i woke up and wanted to take my counselors life because her alarm was windchimes and it was on like volume 110

im so autistic i forgot that other people actually change their clothes everyday so when i came back from the bathroom yesterday i was shocked to my core to see three girls without shirts on

i did not really know anyone yesterday morning so i didnt want to talk to ANYONE and then the camp leader was like hey youre quiet and i was like i dont have very much to say my friends arent here and then he assigned someone to try to include me which she really tried but i am so bad at holding a conversation with someone im not comfy around and she gave up and went to play vollyball 💀

after that the counsellor with the horrifying alarm was trying to make me feel included but i was Not Having It and i genuinely felt so bad for her for trying so hard when i was not in a good spot to talk to

at lunch yesterday i had two cups of coffee and was going crazy in the lodge like my senses were mega heightened and i was talking so fucking fast like those people at the end of goddamn commercials and then i found a drinking fountain and literally and actually lost my fucking mind

at one point i was supposed to go get my folder but when i tried to grab it i accidentally papercutted THREE of my fingers and i was like bruh how even tho i knew something like that was going to happen i was still shocked appalled when it did

around like 4:00 i was in the bathroom and my cheeks were like really red and warm and i was like oh shit sleep deprivation is catching up to me again anti-fever medication save me and then the camp leader said something about sunburns and i was like ohhhhh thats probably whats wrong with me

my (new) friend violet was putting hot sauce on her goddamn mashed potatoes last night (i have photo and video evidence of this i am being so serious) and then another girl was taking shots of hot sauce out of literal fucking olives like black olives from a can

we got lost on a hike at 10:00 at night last night 💀

after the hike we had a fire and smores and then we did something called an affirmation circle where we all took turns being the center of attention and everyone had to say something nice about us and i was like oh god what are they gonna say about me and then it was my turn and they were all so nice to me i was about to cry

our camp leader didnt want to have a turn in the affirmation circle but we all wanted to let him know how much we love and appreciate him (for most of us hes our trusted adult) and it got really emotional and then when we got back to the cabins everyone was crying

one of my counselors used to be a massage therapist and those of us who wanted one she was giving us massages and basically turned us all into playdough by the way it was sooo funny how the people with anxiety disorders had the most knots in their muscles (hehe. my shoulder hurts.)

at about 1 am there were like four different snores happening and i was about to lose it

i think i just barely went over my sweet spot of just enough sleep because when it was actually time to get up my eyes did Not want to stay open lmao

we had waffles for breakfast. violet put fUCKING HOT SAUCE ON HER GODDAMN WAFFLES. HOT SAUCE. ON HER GODDAMNFUCKING WAFFLES.

violet also downloaded ttpd while we were hiking last night and we listened to it in the car i love her sm 🫶

#so yeah it was definitely and Experience #a very good one but an Experience all the same #personal #i love violet dearly but shes fucking crazy #i was genuinely shocked at how nice everyone was being to me in the affirmation circle tho #like it is NOT everyday that someone tells me im easy to talk to #also someone said “i love that you dont need to be talking for us to know that youre in our corner” #LIKE??????? #LUCY ARE YOU TRYING TO MAKE ME SOB?????????? #basically they all think im this like whimsical all-knowing really kind magical elf man that protects people i care about with my life #which again not something i typically get #it was awesome of them to try and make me cry like that

[anoms-world]

cure plastic friday city pan

1x 20 the break 3tt lossof control 10 defence 2tt 3x 1tt 2x 30

when they luagh on the game? usually when i seperate myself from everything its like as if they want my attecen to be creative to be out as they become mad at me later for the things that already in my mind espicially the things that dosnt change with creativity unless if i can change them completly without the sights or with something else only on the play what happened when i resist while being optimistic? she came to stop me and fill me when eternal fear to freaze and panick but why?… what happened when i resist while being pesmmetic? she left but i became so numb i dont enjoy things and so unlucky in what ever i do things broke around me all the time so messed up when she angry directed at me? when i sererating myself suddenly from everything yet not emotionalyy with mental confinian. things doesnt really really heal at this point when its up to her… when i fear? when am completly alone without defence or words or emotion or single thought tho i know that what they want usually and what also i want to be no matter what i do or try to manifist am still small and easy to break like im used to be whan i was small to even hold the grib of manifistng wighout to mentioning the background running without me secretivly even if i tried to resisst

stteampunk plague doctor mask googles rakuen paradise subgenres mecha anime cyberpunk city synthwave lo-fi thrash metal thrash metal hardcore punk mix symphonic power neoclassical metal fav game ys i & 2 fv anime cowboy bebop

ill just go with flow to break the nothingness that i feel these days i just forget myself. my balance. short temper balance with blank screen mind yea you can imagine the spirit becoming older missing the treats and the sense of being even if it was unstable

viva california

elenore im just thinkingg about the nice ppl i gosted in the past and i feel insane cause there was nothing else to do my mind screen go off and blank to be any more creative about

spirit nedds seem more important to me these days but how when the spirit is a kid and they still use the easy way with force and control

i cant feel anything at all my last spirit chance is damaged to feel any save or to be comfortable so the past nostelgia coming back to refeed forcebly i have been low for too long and the outer world insist to break my chances so i can not give anymore even to just myself, the more things change the more it stay the same. even if you were in the same place or the same trap or on the edge no one care to change

the attacked me today not much blood sure as hell i wasnt afraid i said the stupid things they ususually say i didnt anything wrong and im confidant who they think are oh beside they rised their game saying dirty stuff dishonered my actions saing im doing that on poruse and im egolistical thinking myself always right lmao so childlsh they stab me the shell and they accepted me to not make a sound or ever wine every while…. its like they saing ppl in the shell arent allowed to scream when someone attack them espiacially when its peacock with authity and power attack from lion and acrow who love to collect all kind of jewery, they full of ego self love stupprenes force and threats to be throwed in the street lol ignoring everything else about your truth thro bettering them self as if they were the angel and im the devil in their fantasyies to be looking good in the harm and the attacks they do an attmp to get you out from comfort zone,,,yea not much blood tho my soul hurt and my personal confinians for the personal attacks and black treasure for lies mixed with past event to show only the worse then they added justifing them self saing we don hate you lmao what new using my words and exposing their ugly mindset to me, this kind of love that ill be happy to leave with what ever left of pride and wasted honor i tell them over and over again i cant keep up with you they just just ignore or play dumb then she said dont surprised to be attacked you earned your place.. lmao as if i can do anything else to be more creative and sly in my words or place ,,why they never leave you alone even when im already alone im defently not afraid of death at least its honest it taking you part by part this year was tasefull of death tho its slow and keep me comany in many forms ulike the living ones who love their lives travling everywhere more than death it self,, cant deny im afraid sometimes yet how can you afraid of what keep you company,, i told her you dont want me to choose my friends then why you dont talk to me when i need to talk insteesd of consider it a personal attack like you do usually nah she cant and cant resist the need for express freely without judgment to anyone or sink it in the sea of colors with the others before..

[ferraii2]

im bored...

1. stats:

H: 164cm, hw: 53kg?, cw: 50kg, gw1: 48kg, gw2: 45kg, ugw: 42kg

2. height and do i like it?

164cm. im happy with my height but not my bone structure. it doesnt fit me well.

3. fav thinspo and why

her arms, legs, upper body... shes so tiny.

4. greatest fear about weightloss

eventually gaining back all the weight ive lost.

5. why do i wanna lose weight?

because i think im ugly. i feel like if i lose weight, i'll atleast have something about me that is beautiful and/or desireable.

6. do i binge? if so, why?

binge as in emotional eating? no, i dont, luckily.

7. do my parents know that im tryna lose weight? do they care?

they dont know but even if they did, i dont think they'd have a problem with it or prevent me from working out and losing weight. but when it comes to eating less, they, especially my mom, will definitely not leave me alone.

8. my workout routine

unfortunately, i dont workout regularly. i only do it when i feel like i overate, but then also only a little, light workout from youtube.

9. did anyone ever comment my weight negatively?

yeah, many times by nearly everyone. especially my sister as she has an eating disorder along with anger-issues. she always used to attack me for my weight when i was a (chubby) kid (keep in mind she is 12yrs elder than me).

10. the hardest thing i gave up during weightloss?

nothing until now!

11. my fav thinspo blog and why?

my own blog which got deleted a few days ago lol. it was my fav thinspo blog obviously cause i reblogged everything that i liked the most.

12. what do i normally eat?

i eat whatever i want as long as its below my calorie limit. that includes fast food, anything my mom cooks, proteins, etc

13. am i losing weight in a healthy or an unhealthy way?

healthy i believe. i mean, i allow myself to go up to 1100 calories a day, sometimes even 1200. i dont starve because i know that it has no benefit whatsoever.

14. whats my ugw and when do i expect to reach it?

my ugw is 42kg, thats a total weightloss of 8kg. i wish to lose it by march, basically in about 2⅔ months.

15. am i a vegan/vegetarian and would i consider becoming one?

no, not for weightloss purposes nor moral reasons. meat and milk products contain a lot of vitamins which i wouldnt want to give up!

16. when did i first decided to lose weight?

when i was 12. and i did lose weight succesfully (from 53kg to 46-47kg)

17. do i have an eating disorder?

luckily i dont.

18. what food is my weakness?

easy, cheese cake... i could eat a whole cake on my own.

19. when was the last time i ate fast food?

today, actually. i only ate sweets today.

20. fav diet?

eating-below-1100cals-and-work-out

21. what are my clothing sizes?

european sizes: my pants are 36 and my clothes also 36 i believe, not sure.

22. what was my lowest weight and how and why did i gain?

my lowest was about 47kg 3yrs ago. i gained due to puberty/growth and food, obviously.

23. did media play a role in wanting to lose weight?

i dont think so, atleast not consciously. i barely know any celebrities and all the women i see on the internet are thicc.

24. how do i feel about the term "proana/mia"?

"pro" is definitely disturbing to me. its like saying "pro suicide".

25. have i ever purged?

nope.

26. what excites me most about reaching my ugw?

wearing smaller sized clothes, having sticky legs that dont touch, constantly looking delicate, being treated more nicely, being taken care of, no insults on my weight by anyone ever again, jealous looks of other girls, not feeling ashamed to undress in front of somebody else, not being scared to get intimate with somebody, etc etc...

27. how do i deal with being around food?

when im really hungry or have high appetite, i'll probably eat some of it. if i dont, i just ignore the food.

28. do i want a thigh gap and why?

i do, because i find it aesthetically pleasing.

29. my definition of beauty?

a kind, honest, polite and respectful nature.

30. ten facts about me:

i'm 16 years old.

i am practically religious (muslim).

i developed an obsession for mukbangs over the past few years.

im extremely shy and awkward in real life.

i love animals but im afraid of them in real life (literally every animal... even birds or cats).

i cant eat meat off of the bone (e.g. drumsticks). it just disgusts me.

i actively try to improve my character.

i have a naturally athletic and fit body.

i live in germany.

im addicted to chocolate and other sweets, i need them nearly every day

if you actually read all of this, ily and wish you all the best 😙

#thinspo #30daysthinspochallenge #weightloss #diet #thin inspo #tw ed #ed #eating disorder #anorexia #ana #proana #notproanythingjusttags #i wanna be skiny #sweetspo #meanspo #anorekic #fitspo

[alegzandryan]

Prepping for a Ritual

So since I am doing these things as we speak I thought I would go through some ritual things that I find useful, for anyone that feels overwhelmed or unprepared for ritual work. I know tumblr and tiktok have pushed a lot of easy jar spells on us, but there really is something more to a ritual setting, even a simple one. And as it goes without saying, this is my personal idea of a guide and everyone is entitled to their own opinion and practice.

Get your supplies ready the day before the ritual. ESPECIALLY if you are going outside/somewhere outside your home. Collect all the things you will need and put them together. This will give you a day to remember all the things you forgot before it's time, instead of in the middle of your ritual

Choose what you are going to wear the day before, too. Some people take aesthetic very seriously but others dont. Either way, give some thought to what you are wearing. Is that crystal necklace good for what you are doing? Are those pants comfortable enough to sit for 30 minutes in? Comfortability is just as important as presentation for ritual, so dont wear that corset that hurts you after 15 minutes. You will need to focus on more important things.

Foot wear is also super underrated. Are you hiking 10 minutes into the forest to find a ritual spot? Wear boots. Are you in your house and want to go barefoot? Make absolutely sure you are not going to step on a ritual tool and make yourself bleed, or curse to some gods about the existence of legos in the middle of your ritual

Make some stuff for a cleansing/power bath. I usually assemble ingredients and things day before, then go to bed, and do a quick ritual bath before the actual ritual. Steep a hair rinse or charm a fancy body wash before hand so you dont have to focus on that spell, too.

Do a tarot reading/your preferred divination, before bed the day before you do a ritual. It can be quick or extensive, it doesnt matter. But it can be good to get some guidance before you are gearing up for a spell or ritual, and have some time to think about it before you are minutes away from it.

Prepare food and water, once again especially if you are going outside. Rituals can take a lot out of you depending on what you are doing, and food and drink are very easy and quick ways to help ground yourself if you are shaky or need help coming back to a relaxed state. If you are struggling, boiling pasta or microwaving stuff is the last thing on your mind, or maybe even your ability. So have some fruit snacks or granola bars or cookies or something-- easy to take and easy to eat-- with you. Trust me, this is more important than a lot of people realize. It's a good after-ritual practice and one you should be ready for

Think about your intent and purpose. Set aside some time day-before to do this, maybe 30 min to 1 hr I would say. Maybe make an entry in your BOS if you are the journaling type. This serves 2 functions: one is to charge your intent before the spell. It will give you more oomph and precision in your spell casting, or more prepared behavior if you are speaking to gods. Think about what you want to ask them, what you want them to know, how much respect you should give them, or what they may ask of you. What are you willing to do for them, and what are you not?

The second function is that it gives you time to back out of something. Not all spells are meant to be cast, and especially not if you are in a high emotion before it. Give yourself a day to prepare, an hour to think over, why am I doing this? SHOULD I be doing this even? There is nothing wrong with changing your mind. Doing things impulsively in magic isn't typically beneficial to the caster most of the time. Think through potential consequences, too. How could it back fire? How could it go right but in the wrong way? Is there a better way to get what you want? Can you add a caveat, or a time limit on the spell? Are you using parts of a closed practice and not really thought about it before now?

If you are doing spell work in the out-of-your-house-space-land, even if it is just like, in your appartment parking lot, the park down the street or even your own backyard, make sure someone somewhere knows about it. I know not everyone is out of the broom closet, but even if you just have to tell your friends you are stargazing or something, make sure SOMEONE knows and has a check in time for you. There are creeps and terrible people everywhere, and not to spook anybody, but doing magic can often attract animals or any assortment of beings who want to watch/investigate you. I have been given a heart attack by a baby antelope at dawn before. I have also been given a heart attack by a forest spirit asking wtf I was doing there. I know it doesnt exactly feel witchy to have your cellphone crammed in your waistband, but trust me, better safe than sorry. Be it humans or otherwise, doing magic in the dark in total secret is just not realistic to your safety. Take someone with you and have them wait in the car or around the corner if you can. Once again, make sure someone, somewhere, has a set time to call or come get you in, incase you get kidnapped or fae-napped. Your wellbeing is a much higher priority than any magic spell.

Also familiarize yourself with nearby wildlife. Even if you are in the city, check out what raccoon eyes look like in flashlight, or maybe if your suburb is prone to stray cats or dogs. Check out a rabies registry as well, so you know what kind of risk you are looking at around such animals. Rabid animals are actually more prone to being unafraid of human contact and will readily let a person touch them. Do NOT interact with wild animals. No, they are not a sign or a gift from your god. Most animals are curious about magic in general, but that doesnt make them not wild. Do not interact. If you are in a less populated space, you should also check out what kind of wild life is native to your area and how dangerous they are. Deer will startle themselves into you like getting hit by a BMW and bears and cougars can be active day or night, as well as Bobcats, snakes, or coyotes. Check out your local wildlife center for advice on how to handle what lives in your area

(Last outdoors advice, I promise) also check out what kind of myths and legends existed on the land you are on, ESPECIALLY if you live in north america. Knowing who's land you are on should be important to your practice anyway, and knowing what kind of creatures may be out there may save you some distress later. Indigenous cultures should be respected, and their tales can tell you what's around your area. And I dont care where the hell you live, if you hear whistling in the darkness/forests, it is one of several things coming to get you and none of them are good. Get gone and DONT whistle back. Or at all. No whistling guys. Bad.

For indoor rituals, make sure you wont be disturbed. Much like meditation, rituals are very dependent on focus and intent. Interruptions can mess with your outcome.

More indoor advice, checkout your lighting and ventilation well before you do your ritual. For instance, my altar is in a walk in closet-- there is no way in hell I am burning 4 candles and an incense in that room. I would have to do it in my living room or bedroom where there are windows, or find a way to eliminate the candles. Is the room dark enough to fit your ritual? Is it light enough that you can read your notes? (also make notes/write up a copy of the spell, it helps so much) Make sure you have enough light to see what you are doing properly.

I am a big advocate of "do not over cleanse your life, stop over cleansing" however, if that is something you do a lot of, make sure all your tools and whatnot are cleansed and prepared day before. You can shave a 2hr ritual down to 30 min if you get all of your prep work done day before, which is nice. And it once again gives you time to say "shit I forgot that one thing I need to cleanse" an hour later and still not interrupt your ritual because it is day before.

If you are an of-legal-age type person and doing some drug/alcohol part of your magic, make double sure you have food, water, and a buddy system. You may not need a designated driver if you aren't going out of your house, but you still need a designated sober person to make sure you dont like, astral travel out of your body and get replaced with a pod person, or get hurt trying to cast a circle with a ritual knife while high. Know your limits well before you use them in ritual and, I cannot emphasize this enough, have a friend to keep you under scrutiny incase something goes wrong and you need help.

If you are having the OTHER kind of must-be-of-age type of ritual, be sure your partner is well informed. Maybe have a dress rehearsal so you are both on the same page about mechanics and consent. Speed run through the general timing and motions, and talk about what each of you expect to get out of the ritual. Is it for bonding? Or are you using the energy to try to charge something? Is it for fertility? Are you both good to have ritualized sex (I know that seems like an obvious question, but you would be surprised by how many partners clam up about sexual things to try to not disappoint their partner). If you are a witch and your partner is not, be sure they know what to expect, and that they 100% want to do it even though it's not necessarily their practice and not just to be a people pleaser. If you havent done anything like this before either, tell them that, too. Honestly is 100% required here

And lastly, keep your cool. It's easy to get over excited or over anxious about this kind of thing, but honestly with a little prep time you have a high change of doing awesome. And even if you dont? That's okay too. Everyone makes mistakes, we all learn from those mistakes, and every single experience you acquire will level you up until you are the best at being you. Do what feels right, trust your gut, do some reading, and keep calm and witchy on.

#witchblr #ritual #ritual work #spell #spell work #witch tips #ritual prep #witch advice #chaos witch #eclectic paganism #wicca #diety work #diety ritual #witchcraft #chaos witchcraft #solitary witch #solitary witchcraft

[rikiflrts]

— ꒰‧ 𝐃𝐚𝐢𝐬𝐲'𝐬 𝐏𝐫𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐭 𝐋𝐢𝐬𝐭 ༉‧₊˚✧

after what seemed like forever, i finally made my own prompt list! if you wish to request for the prompts that you’d like to use with a certain member, then feel free to choose any of the numbers displayed and tell me about them in the ask box (^^).

also: please be specific with the genre that you'd like to imply with your chosen prompts, thank you~ ♡

1.) "i just wanted to give you a hug"

2.) "dumbass we're lost now thanks to you!" " i already got lost in your eyes from the moment i met you but you don't see me complaining."

3.) "please don't talk to me right now, im not in the mood"

4.) "how are you so beautiful?"

5.) "my hoodie looks great on you"

6.) "how could you..."

7.) "i trusted you"

8.) "i didn't tell you to trust me."

9.) "you're leaving? just like that?"

10.) "no stop you're making me blush"

11.) "and if i am?"

12.) "just shut up and let me play with your hair"

13.) "so this is what falling in love feels like"

14.) "how are you even real..?"

15.) "are you being for real right now?"

16.) "...did you just sniff me?"

17.) "if you're that mad then why don't you just take it out on me?"

18.) "i don't mind"

19.) "you dumbass, i said i like you!"

20.) "i used to have this huge crush on you (laughs)" "used to?" "well, yeah.. i dont really like you anymore"

21.) "can i hold your hand?"

22.) "are you nervous?"

23.) "less talking, more working!"

24.) "im in love with an idiot"

25.) "but you promised me that we'd get married!!" "for the love of god, ____ we were 5 when that promise was made!"

26.) "but i still love/like you.."

27.) "this reminded me of you"

28.) "his/her/their smile is really pretty.."

29.) "just confess already!!"

30.) "you're an idiot." "yeah. your idiot."

31.) "are you even paying attention?"

32.) "does it look like i care?"

33.) "i don't really care"

34.) "it's been a while since i last smiled like this"

35.) "oh crap im starting to feel the butterflies again"

36.) "I'm scared, okay?! i can't do it"

37.) "what are you so scared of?"

38.) "im scared of falling.." "dont be, i'll catch you."

39.) "promise..?" "promise."

40.) "i guess promises really were meant to be broken."

41.) "you made a fool out of me!"

42.) "im sorry, its not you.. its me."

43.) "what about our promises??" "what about them?"

44.) "please dont go"

45.) "is/are they/he/she all you're ever going to look at?im already right in front of your attention is still focused on them/him/her."

46.) "that's it..?"

47.) "cuddle with me"

48.) "no."

49.) "his/her/their eyes were like pools; so deep. I fear that if I fall, I might never come out and reach for air."

50.) "i love spending time with you"

51.) "let's just be friends"

52.) "im sorry, im afraid of commitment"

53.) "im afraid of it too. why don't you just take this risk and overcome your fears with me?"

54.) "if its you, then i dont mind."

55.) "i love your smell"

56.) "what's that supposed to mean?"

57.) "first love really never does die huh"

58.) "hey, you look really familiar" "oh, really?" "yeah. you look like my soulmate."

59.) "if you like me so much then just marry me already"

60.) "wait i can do that?!" "your gullibility really amazes me sometimes."

61.) "are you dumb? be honest"

62.) "im not in the mood"

63.) "are you okay?"

64.) "you look horrible" "oh wow gee thanks for pointing that out sherlock"

65.) "what's in it for me?"

66.) "do you..like me?"

67.) "do you like him/her/them?"

68.) "but i wrote you letters.."

69.) "they mean nothing to me."

70.) "wow! i haven't seen you in ages, how have you been?" "we literally just saw each other 5 hours ago."

71.) "wipe that smirk off your face, its annoying"

72.) "aww, why? are you perhaps threatened that you'll end up falling for me?"

73.) "i think im going to puke"

74.) "are you blushing?"

75.) "aren't you tired of comstantly running in my mind?"

76.) "i can't get him/her/them out of my head"

77.) "your laugh sounds really pretty"

78.) "i love how your eyes sparkle whenever you're invested in something"

79.) "im falling"

80.) "oh no im catching feelings"

81.) "do you ever stop talking?"

82.) "let me get that for you"

83.) "its okay, i can pay for myself" "no. i wont let you" "but i have my own mone-" "shut up and let me spoil you!"

84.) "i refuse to stay in the same room with the likes of him/her/them!"

86.) "it was pretty obvious.."

87.) "come here."

88.) "stop doing that to yourself!"

89.) "you deserve better."

90.) "just leave. i dont want to see your face anymore."

91.) "i hate you." "the feeling's mutual."

92.) "didn't i tell you to leave me alone?!"

93.) "was it so wrong to love you..?"

94.) "if you really love me then just stay away from my sight."

95.) "you feel like home"

96.) "i love hugging you, it makes me feel safe"

97.) "i could kiss you right now!" "you're very welcome to do it."

98.) "i can't keep playing pretend"

99.) "let's put an end to this.."

100.) "i think im actually catching feelings"

101.) "this is getting dangerous.."

102.) "give me another chance"

103.) "give me one reason why i shouldnt leave."

104.) "im going to do it! im finally going to confess to him/her/them!"

105.) "you've got to be kidding me.."

106.) "i knew what i signed up for. im not surprised."

107.) "he/she/they has/have stars in his/her/their eyes and im captivated"

108.) "i love you" "nice try, but im not falling for that"

109.) "is it that hard to fall in love with me?!"

110.) "well if you put it that way, then yes."

111.) "you look happy"

112.) "you look happier without me."

113.) "can you guys please change the dare"

114.) "who gave you the right to toy around with my emotions like that?!"

115.) "i got played.."

116.) "stay out of my sight."

117.) "you're an eyesore" "you're an eye candy"

118.) "why are you still here?"

119.) "why..?"

120.) "stop making fun of me!" "make me."

121.) "was i just some kind of sick joke to you?"

122.) " i really like you "

123.) "i don't know how to express my feelings that well but i just want you to know that i'd take a bullet for you"

124.) "i'd do anything just to see you smile like that again"

125.) "what are you staring at?"

126.) "i think i have a crush on you" "you think? you're not even sure?"

127.) "take my hand"

128.) "let's get out of here."

129.) "you should wear my clothes more often"

130.) "i can teach you how"

131.) "I'm here for you"

132.) "you can use me to forget about him/her/them"

133.) "even if the world turns againt us, as long as we have each other, then we'll be alright."

134.) "you're all that i need"

135.) "you're all that i ever wanted"

136.) "you're all that i have"

137.) "please don't leave me"

138.) "I'm sorry."

139.) "look at me."

140.) "look at me and tell me that you don't love me anymore."

141.) "you're an idiot."

142.) "i don't love you anymore."

143.) "did you just drink from my cup?" "and if i did?"

144.) "im going to kill you!" "you don't scare me"

145.) "stay with me a little longer"

146.) "i knew it.."

147.) "i should've known.."

148.) "are you jealous?"

149.) "i made you a playlist"

150.) "when will you ever look my way..?"

151.) "im fine with looking at him/her/them from afar"

152.) "he's/she's/they're out of my league"

151.) "im scared of getting rejected"

152.) "back to square one"

153.) "I'm tired"

154.) "what do you like about me?"

154.) "i'd rather starve than spend time with him/her/them."

155.) "if i'm an idiot, then you're a coward"

156.) "i dreamt about you last night"

157.) "it was a nightmare"

158.) "it's the little things that he/she/they do/does that drive me insane"

159.) "i like you more than i should"

160.) "be mine"

161.) "it was too good to be true.."

162.) "i had a crush on him/her/them"

163.) "i never really thought that i'd end up falling for you"

164.) "you're adorable"

165.) "you mean the world to me"

166.) "you meant the world to me"

167.) "what happened in the past stays in the past"

168.) "careful, you might end up falling for me"

169.) "very funny, mister lover boy"

170.) "lets go out on a date"

171.) "i'm so lucky to have you"

172.) "where are you going?"

173.) "sometimes it really just gotta be like that"

174.) "hello good afternoon, what's your order?" "hell- oh wow.. you please" "im sorry, could you say that again?" "wait no! i meant- uh..oh dear.."

175.) "he's too good for me"

176.) "stop giving me mixed signals"

177.) "i guess it really just wasn't meant to be"

178.) "im not interested in you"

179.) "i cant get him/her/them out of my head"

180.) "where is/are he/she/they?"

181.) "you took my pillow so im going to use you as a pillow"

182.) "why are you avoiding me?"

183.) "did i do something wrong?"

184.) "please talk to me"

185.) "im not even his/her/their ideal type"

186.) "it wouldn't hurt to try"

187.) "you smell like me"

188.) "i like my scent on you"

189.) "that sounds weird if you put it that way"

190.) "can i call you tonight?"

191.) "you should smile more often"

192.) "i hate it when people tell me what to do"

193.) "lets wear matching outfits!"

194.) "im arresting you." "why? i didnt do anything wrong" "yes you did, you stole my heart and i want justice!"

195.) "i guess i got too caught up with my fatasies to notice that he/she/they never really liked me back in the first place.."

196.) "you're the answer to all my prayers"

198.) "you should go home."

199.) "let me come with you"

200.) "run away with me"

last updated: 12/30/20

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#random scenarios #otp prompts #prompts #promptlist #fanfic prompts #enhypen #scenarios #enhypen scenarios #fluff prompts #fluff prompt list #angst prompts #angst prompt list #writing prompts #writing prompts list

[g3nosarchive]

ok i genuinely think a lot of other people have this problem but stop inserting yourself when xyz issue is mentioned. when someone is telling you that a person, a celebrity, some franchise is harming their identity or anyone’s identity as a minority, or part of a certain race or religion or anything shut the fuck up and accept it.

they do not need to know your emotional attachment to said thing, your disbelief, your horror, your personal experience - we didn’t ask for all that. we know just how bad it is, cus yk it harms us maybe? we’ve already gone through the cycle of being angry and indignant and now we’re here trying to get you to understand in the hopes that as a friend you do what you’re meant to do when you became friends with us. we are not your constant ball of anger to use whenever you find something that’s “crazy, unbelievably, shockingly” once again, a hate crime, when you decide you want to feel angry and care about it.

more under the cut bc i talk too much

by doing that, you’re making an issue that you didn’t even know about suddenly yours. ask yourself, what is the purpose for telling anyone all that? to get them to sympathize with you personally so you can get a pass because you didn’t know? of course you don’t know, of course you’re unaware, that’s the whole reason why you’re being told in the first place. do not water down the issue or even try to play the ‘everything has some issue like this so there’s no point in going this far’ card. especially as a white person. the reason why you don’t know primarily is because it doesn’t affect you and it doesn’t cross your mind.

when you watch a show with a black character, you don’t care about how off the character design is or how stereotypical and borderline racist the comedy gag surrounding said character is. when you listen to your favorite white music artists or watch your favorite movie with a majority white cast, white staff, white team, and white theme, you don’t care to analyze just how outdated and stereotypical the way that token asian character is portrayed. some of y’all don’t understand and will never understand the mental struggle and awareness forever plugged into the brain of lgbt and/or poc, especially black people when we consume anything, when we go anywhere, when we meet new people, to constantly catch those micro aggressions and know what to avoid.

so when someone tells you insert classic hot mess is racist and you should stop supporting it, one of the worst things you can do beside outright rejecting it is to defend it and insinuate that we don’t know what we’re talking about, that we need 30 different sources to prove it all, that you don’t think (for example taylor swifts dream colonized africa mv) is bad. you try to say the thing or person that is actively promoting all this homophobia, racism, transmisogyny etc needs to be kindly educated, is trying their best, will learn soon enough, just wasn’t educated, will do better in the future (esp looking at u kpop stans). does their apparent regret but refusal to properly apologize actually matter? the damage has already been done.

that in itself is a privilege i could never have. i don’t even try being a fan of any major white celebrity or any kpop group because i guarantee if i search up their name with ‘racist’, ‘sexist’, ‘homophobic’, ‘transphobic’, ‘cultural appropriation’ behind it something or some image is bound to show up. you will all say “oh they haven’t done anything yet” but when it comes out that they did, they have, and they do not care about who it affects, suddenly it’s a bombshell dropped on you out of nowhere.

it’s not that hard to spot these things actually. if your fav is constantly putting themselves against people of color, saying shady shit about non cishets while being a cishet themself, saying one thing and doing another, or has been silent when their voice was expected to speak up, shouldn’t you notice? y’all will reblog all these posts but in reality only 10% are actually reading and listening and actually digesting this information for future use.

and i think the thing that pisses me off is this is all from personal experience where i’m speaking from. over the past 2 days the amount of times if i’ve heard about the “tea that dropped w meghan markle” is ridiculous and annoying. a girl texted me and i sat there and i realized that she does this on a daily basis to fuel my anger and get me to validate her own useless anger. of course i knew about it and i wasn’t surprised at all - she’s still a black woman.

almost every black blog on here, when they get big enough, deals with some sort of weird shit surrounding their blackness. if you get big on speaking about issues you are now this emotionless token ‘smart black person i can actually trust’ to use as your replacement for google. this is not to say asking questions is bad, but it is so easy to pull up some of the shit you guys ask for. some people get called slurs directly, targeted for being too black or not black enough, attacked for their features and etc and someone mentioned this before but the only people that care in those situations are other black people themselves. white people will have blm in their bio but turn the other way the minute some anon starts acting up in their mutuals’ inbox, calling them a dark1e because they felt confident enough to post some selfies. and then you get sad when we dont go to you for any kind of support? 

i’ve stated sometimes that asking me questions on issues and things is okay, but one of the main reasons i say that is because whether i say it or not, i’ll be asked questions and expected to know everything and i am your personal walking encyclopedia and ofc it’s natural for me to have all this information in my head, as if i didn’t research it myself. but then i think about the numerous amounts of people that specifically say not to ask them this shit because it really does tire you out, that they don’t want to have to deal with this in any space but they still get them. 

and then the ones that don’t even know themself so people will use them as an example and say “well this person didn’t know and they’re ‘marginalized identity’ so it should be fine for me too”. good god just apologize, show that you really care, change your behavior and move on. do you think it was fun being asked the statistics for george floyd’s and other black peoples death in class? that you were being inclusive and giving me a chance to show off my intelligence, to prove to others that i really had something up here and you were my greatest star eyes white friend that gave me that chance? i cant close my posts like this properly but i want you to think about that shit and actually ask yourself if you’d do that. a lot of you will read this and think “i’m not that type of racist” “i don’t have those deep seated prejudices in me” yes you do. you just haven’t been called out on it.

for all the shit ive dealt with above, if i’ve ever talked to you about this before dont come to me to apologize i do not need it and you are not the only person i’ve received this from. i guarantee you that there’s about 20 other people i’ve thought about while writing this post considering i’m a black person in the real world, so keep your guilt to yourself an deal with it

white people don’t add on to this

#important #antiblackness #george floyd #death mention #ok to rb #more than ok but #here it is 😇 #ill rb this everyday if i have to

[segernatural]

phil's plant tour video but i'm an emotional mess

Instant shaky-cam: dAniel! Hiii!

We love a self-aware plant murderer.

(Sidenote we love a king who gives credit, stan jenna)

P a s s i o n for p l a n t s

The shift in gaze from lens to dan is really wholesome and dan's little camera nod makes me soft

#SPON (also going northern = excited)

THE BUCKET. i lost my mind on the first watch of this part. Fucking hilarious. Also we stan being in on the joke and staring at your soulmate whilst driinking from a literal bucket for the meme

he literally couldnt even keep a straight face. Like. Listen to how softly he says "hydrated" there ok.

Its a very phil shirt, phil.

Foray wow look at that English-language degree being put to use

Dont stroke the cactus phil--

Also he has no idea how to market a cushion but points for trying. We'll all buy it anyway

"Extra ribbing, for a bit of texture, if you like that kinda thing" all while staring like this

Did i hear that as "furna-tote" wHat

its a bag. Shiny. Leaves. Very phil. He should send one to cristine. But also. I doubt my behemoth of a laptop would fit in there.

Pseudo-appartment tour yeee

"Lets start with this bitch" ok phil tell me how u really feel

"Its the most needy plant ever" so its me

Dan caption: "leave me alone but dont but do" yeahhh

"Trying my best, kinda not succeeding" phil u said shes been living for 2 years under your care. Thats a win

Bean-can. And why does the framing of this shot make me soft.

NORMAN :D why do i always think his tank is larger than that

"Boi" is something i use gender neutrally phil dw

Theres so many shots in here that make me extra soft bc theres something that either reminds me of both of them or just also dan and this is one of them

Casual awards they got together there.

Also how high up are they rn bc jfc phil looks like he is straining upwards, so is dan shooting this above his head? I need answers

Dan's little nonverbal "imma stop you there"

"Like the hot guy" things like this still make me soft ok. Its been almost a year now since he's officially out and i still get emotional ok shush

Phil thinks terrariums can be mystery and beauty

Angry hand terrarium. Its ok, i still appreciate you hand-terrarium, even if phil doesnt

Casual liquor chilling next to a terrarium

I will die for the zed-zed plant bc it sounds ridiculous the way my country says it

Calling himself a botanist now, we stan growth

Golden pig shall also be in commentary then phil.

Second shot that makes me soft: dan's birthday candle :(((

Nooooo we got a couple dead laddy bois in this terrarium

w e

w e x2

Sideways shot, we stan camera-dan

"Blooming out of my crotch" why. Also why hold it like that.

That "boing" sound effect. Oof. Am uncomfy.😂

That off-camera voice of "i'm not gonna say erect... oh i did"

Phil says eat ur breakfast

What even is this shot. Ok mr "under stairs plant"

"If you're falling down the stairs, its the last thing you'll see before you die" uH??

Cmon phil people dont come over 👀

Inb4 phil's friends know hes a plant killer so they try to support his endeavors, and when they see this plant they compliment him on it to validate his growth but alas, its always been a lie

The editing there is 11/10

"I dont like this its too eager" you can just say you're an introvert 👀 some of us just get excited about things ok

Damn phil did this plant hurt u? Do u need a moment?

Dramatic lightning and audio in the bathroom

Not changing lights bc lazy = mood

U lads dont even need a ladder to reach it i bet. Like it would take 30 seconds.

Dan getting shots of dsrk bathroom while phil rambles on about bathroom stuff, till he notices what phil is saying and decides to shame him by capturing it on video

I love how this plant actually has a purpose

Ok this framing is cursed.

Why is the plant like that.

Why are the legs spread.

The chair.

Sidenote hullo another shot that makes me emo. Aesthetic D just vibin.

We stan a strong run-way plant

Dust coating "maybe it helps?" Ah phil, always the optimist

Ok now it just sounds like u are explaining to dan why its not your fault its dying

Casually having to explain gold foil

Cool! Fridge cacti!

"Which one would you rather sit on?" pHIL

"NOT IN A WEIRD WAY" what else can that even mean

Daniel leaving is all of us

Jump to phil being swamped by a plant. Dayum boi look at u go!

All that matters phil is that it is thriving rn ok

That plant looks like it could eat u yes. Plotting it since 2014 apparently

"Growing so fast its killing itself" ok metaphor. Also get it a bigger pot then u monster 👀

"I'd make out with it but its probably posionous." Not that its a plant, but just that it might kill me. Ok.

Awww piranha plant boquet returns

F o n d

Im just glad the cactus was the merch not the yodelling pickle

Phil spilling all the tea about his fake plants damn

"I'm wearing shorts" why do they both have to tell us about their states of undress

So this is phil's emotional support plant

This man. Taped his plant upright. In order to have it in his video background.

Phil. Stop.

The japanese asa (i guarantee i spelled that wrong, i apologize) is beautiful and deserves the spotlight. Glad to see her thrive since pigeon fest.

Phil spilling tea "this plant is me" and "its trying its best but just not suceeding at things" :(

I did not need that flashback of cutting the sideburns ok. That is seared into my memory

"Im a fan"

"A squirrel,, laid? An acorn?" Oh phil.

Soulmates who have existential crises together stay together

"This thing is a strong buddy" what does that mEan

Oh no. Nononono. Every insect that has gotten inside goes into this plant. Nope.

The extreme closeups that dan does of phils eye's & quiff always make me smile

Ahh. This is the shame pot, where all plants go to die.

Steve

He's a shiny.

Steve is basically your cat now phil

Casual reminders that who needs humans at all when u live with your soulmate and a pigeon adopts you

This angle on the shot. Jfc dAn you're so tall

"They make me happy" *britney yeah.gif*

Overall very good plant tour, very good happy phil, 11/10.

#dan and phil #amazingphil #dnp #char speaks #long post

[what-kinda-fuckery]

Hey so, I was one of the star struck falsettos stans that spent the forty dollars for the webinar, and I took notes (like a weirdo). So I decided I would share my funny moments and updates from the cast here!

- Host: Everyone should be keeping their audio off.

Christian: Oh alright!

Host: nO Christian not you

- Christians in Manhattan and his hair is back and he’s wearing a Superman t-shirt.

- Brandon is with his parents in NJ

- Stephanie and Brandon still love each other

- Brandon: Meat should be cooked just right

- Betsy: Stephanie are you in maple wood?

Stephanie: Well thank you for telling everyone where I am (she’s in NJ)

- Stephanie: Are you fucking kidding meee!!!

- Tracie is in LA, she looks like she’s in Costa Rica and I love her dog.

- Anthony’s VOICE IS LOW EVERYONES FREAKING OUT

they’re all talking about Anthony’s clear skin

- Andy Randy is in LA with a fresh haircut his boyfriend did it and he’s watching too much TV

Andrew: I’m watching this is America

Stephanie: SO GOOD

Andrew: SO GOOD

- Everyone’s having hard days

- Christian is acting out tracies dog’s pathetic bark and everyone’s like WHAT are you doing bc it looks like he’s about to throw up

- BETSY IS A WEEK AWAY FROM HAVINGA WHOLE CHILD

Betsy: What else do you do during a pandemic? Have a baby!

Andrew: Can I toss out another baby name? Celery.

Literally everyone: Goodnight Andrew goodbye!

- Christian is living with a girl (?) and playing board games instead of watching television

HE COOKS NOW EVERYONES PROUD OF HIM

Christian: yesterday I made pork filet en croute

Stephanie: I MADE PORK WITH SAGE AND APPLES ON WEDNESDAY

Stephanie: In mean girls they wear pink on wednesdays. In falsettos they make pork.

- I can’t get over Anthony’s voice

Again everyone returning to his literally perfect skin

- Stephanie: When watching four jews in a room in the beginning who’s in China?? I know the answer I just want to hear someone say it.

Andrew, with a thick accent: It was Bryna, in China, with a torn miniscus

- Christian: Did anything interesting make it on to the telecast between me and you? Andrew? Actually I dont remember I need to do my research.

Andrew: There’s been some strange comments about Christian and I- (AT THIS POINT IM WHEEZING)

HE MENTIONED THE TONY BONY

HE SAID IT WASNT A THING

HE DIDNT HAVE ONE

Andrew: No that’s not a thing that happened

Brandon: Andrew i want you to know that it’s okay if it was. It’s a safe space just the seven of us. (Lol)

- Bill Finn would take two steps into the room: “WROONG”

Stephanie: he wanted me to sing the end of I’m breaking down up the octave and I said #notmytrina

Brandon: #NOTMYTRINA

- Tracie what did you do during act 1

Tracie: Betsy and I sat in that dressing room for like an hour and a half

Andrew: You SANG the WHOLE SHOW TRACIE

- Betsy watched parts of the first act to feel like she was there

- Betsy sprained both her ankles at one point during the run and was a trooper anyways

Brandon reenacting Betsy limping during look look look look

Everyone dies laughing

Christians LAUGH makes me SO HAPPY

- Betsys screen is frozen like this: 🤨

Andrew: What if she went into labor??? (This is a common thread throughout the zoom)

- Anthony: I’m getting a lot of glitching so Stephanie is just like “HUH UH UH UH”

- Betsy comes back and everyone is like

YOU GUYS ITS COMING!!!

- They bought Andrew an ice cream for his birthday from the vending machine at rehearsal

- Andrew: The Hawaii crop top

Betsy: I would give anything to have that

- Tracie: it was very hard. Very precise bringing the blocks together

Brandon: Trying to be like oh my god we’re going to a funeral

Andrew: MY DEATH IT WAS MY DEATH

- fan question: What did the blocks weigh?

Stephanie: They were like thick yoga blocks. Not heavy but awkward shaped

Andrew: Significantly heavier when Anthony sat on them

Anthony: I just realized how much I got thrown around

Stephanie: Anthony were you proud of yourself? #proudofyou

Anthony: The one moment I was cringing was father and son

Christian: HERE WE GO *SLAPS TABLE*

Betsy: Anthony’s like BLAH BLAH BLAH blah my line BLAH BLAH BLAH my line BLAH BLAH

Christian: I LEAVE THE PAUSE IF YOU CANT GET IN THATS ON YOU

Anthony: I was blinking in that number like constantly

Christian: THE WHOLE THING LIKE A SALAMANDER

Oh Anthony.

- Andrew: I HAVE A STORY ABOUT CHRISTIAN BORLE. Tech for what more can i say. He was laying on me. We were shirtless in underpants under the blankets.

Christian: SLOWER

Andrew: he leaned over; He sniffed his armpit and said “I hope you like France”

EVERYONE DIES LAUGHING INCLUDING ME

Christian: i haven’t worn deodorant in 10 years true story

- Christian: i seem to remember holding our pillows and blankets pretending like we were partying on fyre island and Andrew said:

Andrew: WHATS YOUR NAME???

Christian: No no it was something like:

WHAT HOUSE ARE YOU STAYING IN??

Andrew: WHAT HOUSE ARE YOU STAYING IN???

Betsy: James lupine I feel like we’re ruining this show

- Andrew: The shenanigans were real but so was the sadness

Stephanie: We’re real and we’re funny what you gonna do

- Andrew talking about how hard the show was to do: Finding some liberty, It’s a hard world to live in all the time. It was a hard time especially for Christian. I would sometimes go home and cry for no reason

Brandon: Building up emotion with nowhere to put it

Betsy: then Lesbians come in and provide all the levity

Stephanie: Although Dr. Charlotte brings in horrible news

Tracie: Everything’s beautiful at what more can i say and I’m like not so fast

- Tracie always had a funny thing to say

- Who broke character the most on stage?

Anthony Stephanie and Christian

Anthony: it was when I said “I don’t want a bar mitzvah” and I spit in your face a lot and you went like *puts arms up* and someone at stage door was like very condescending like it’s not professional

Christian: Oh my bad we’re people sorry

- Stephanie wrote a line in the show “YOU HAVE PAINTINGS OF DICKS”

- James wanted her to cut off her finger during I’m breaking down

And turn around with a bandaged bloody finger

- Betsy’s nose bleeding during something bad is happening

And Tracie was like something BAD IS HAPPENING

Tracie: Christians throwing up right now

Betsy: Bloody Kleenex up the nose THE SHOW MUST GO ON

- Fan question: Stephanie how do you belt with a banana in your mouth

Christian: Practice practice practice

Stephanie: just shove it in your cheek. But Really that wasn’t supposed to happen

Anthony’s nickname in the rehearsal room was little bananas because he had to gather up all the pieces of stuff after Stephanie shoved the table over with her rear. Sometimes he didn’t have enough time to put it somewhere so he would just put the pieces of banana in his mouth and that’s where it came from

That’s why

- Andrew: Stephanie your glasses are very chic

Stephanie: Oh my gosh thank you *shocked*

- Betsy: Bill was like I’d rather DIE than change lyrics for the pbs special

FLaT aS a LaKe

- Cue everyone accidentally talking over each other and saying what at each other for 30 seconds

Christian: what? what? what?

Who is it?

What’s going on?

- If you could play anyone else in the show who would it be

Anthony said Mendel

Tracie said Mendel

Brandon said Trina

Andrew said marvin

Betsy said whizzer

Stephanie said Mendel

And I honestly couldn’t hear if Christian said anything whoops

- Brandon: If someone could at some point explain to me the Mendel eats dirt meme? People have been Asking me if Mendel eats dirt? I don’t think it’s about Trina Trina is not the dirt. I was overwhelmed. Can someone in the Q&A explain this? *A few seconds later* oh It was from a meme generator?

Christian: Greaat.

Brandon: It’s a fan fiction about Mendel eating dirt and getting aroused by it

Everyone: WHAT

- They still get fan art

Someone recreated the whole soundtrack 8bit and also with KAZOOS

- Brandon: CONGRATS CHRISTIAN ON LULOS WIN FOR LITTLE SHOP. If you haven’t seen Christian in little shop it’s revelatory I’m not just blowing smoke up your ass I have not laughed that hard in a while at the theatre

- Christian talking about little shop

Christian has a 12 inch Batman toy in his dressing room and he misses it

- Ticket prices were getting out of control before corona everyones hoping this will make a difference

Brandon and everyone think it should get more accessible

- Brandon: Hear hear I need a refill

- Stephanie: Your hair looks incredible Brandon (it did)

Christian: She’s been waiting to talk about it for 53 minutes

- Andrew: Well Betsy what I’m wondering is have you crowned yet??

Proceed everyone dying

Brandon, taking a picture of the screen: This moment will go down in history as When Betsy was asked if she was crowning

- Everyone mimicking zoom freezing by starting a sentence and freezing halfway through

- Christian: What new Steven sondheim musical are you excited about Anthony *devilish grin*

Anthony having no idea what Christian is talking about

Christian: Come on Anthony you know the answer. Ugh. The minds of the young. You’re smoking pot now aren’t you??

Christian: We have a lot of fun

- Andrew: I’m trying to get people to pay attention to me

- Christians pretending to be frozen

Cue a lot of yelling: Stephanie BRANDON STEPHANIE

NO CHRISTIAN

Everyone accusing each other of being frozen

NO YOURE FROZEN

- Andrew: Let’s all act like we’re frozen

Steph: I see Andrew acting like hes frozen

Betsy: Watching you do that is killing me

- Listening to the cast recording for the first time together

Stephanie: Why was I the a-hole that couldn’t be there???

Christian: That’s a question only you can answer

- Betsys husband came in everyones like BETSY LOOK OUT

Christian: that scared the shit out of me

- What is marvins last name and what was his line of work

Christian: we definitely said it at some point right? (They didnt) but he was in advertising. What was the last name? Gardens? O’Malley?

- Andrew: Betsys gone oh no

Betsy: I’m right here!!!

Andrew: She’s giving birth (again)

Stephanie: Betsy Wolfe is a ceiling

- Brandon: Welcome back Anthony. You’re here now.

Anthony singing merrily we roll along over Betsy trying to tell a story

Christian: STOP SMOKING POT IN YOUR BEDROOM ANTHONY

- Betsy: Steve (Steven Sondheim) comes to the door I call him steve

Into the woods is the reason Betsy is in theatre

- Betsy: Andrew was nervous singing at the tonys for Book of Mormon and he got dry mouth he sang like 😬I BELIEVE and he licked his lips so much during the song.

Brandon: Did you have a boner then too?

Andrew: GUYS DONT BE DICKS

Stephanie: It’ll be like dry mouth, boner

Andrew: BETSY YOU FUCKIN BITCH ITS ACTUALLY NOT THAT BAD

Stephanie: Bets maybe we should wrap it up

- Brandon sings MARRIAGE PROPOSAL

EVERYONE TELLING HIM TO STOP SINGING I took a video it was beautiful might post that later

- “Tracie Thomas from Lent!”

Tracie having stage fright

Tracie: Billy porter said “oh child we all forget the words” and walked away

- Anthony said WHO SHAT THE BED in four jews once

Anthony: That’s my contribution. Steph got her line, I got who shat the bed

- Steph: We lost andrew oh no

Christian: Um, we lost andrew ten minutes ago. Yeah when Brandon started singing

- Then Betsy sang a song by Bill Finn beautiful

- Steph: Wear your masks and eat pork on wednesdays

That was it!! I hope you enjoyed and people who were there if I got anything wrong that’s my human error it was hard to note everything I wanted to. Smooches! Byee

#falsettos #falsettos reunion #christian borle #andrew rannells #stephanie j block #betsy wolfe #tracie thoms #anthony rosenthal #brandon uranowitz #falsettoland #musical theatre #zoom reunion #marvin falsettos #whizzer brown #trina falsettos #cordelia falsettos #dr charlotte #jason falsettos #mendel weisenbachfeld #broadwayhd #broadway cares #broadway evolved