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#don't know if I want to hear other ppl's opinions about it
trans-leek-cookie · 10 months
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someone talking about the ways media and common tropes/depictions of things that are either explicitly or implicitly linked to marginalized people are demonized and presented badly is not a fucking opportunity for you to flex how you're doing it Differently And Better
#I'll rb the post but I domt want to add it on cause it feels. Not my place maybe#Anyway fun fact! You can think that all you fucking want! Close your God damn mouth about it and figure out if it actually adds to the#Conversation! Marginalized ppl don't have to hear about how you're hashtag Not Like The Others!!! TAKE IN THE INFORMATION AND CONSIDER IF#THE THINGS YOU DO TRULY DEFY STEREOTYPES OR ARE STILL IMPLICITLY INSPIRED BY THESE BIASES!!! AND DO IT QUIETLY OR WITH SOMEONE WHOS WILLING#TO LISTEN! NOT ON THE POST INFORMING YOU OF THE PROBLEMS EXISTENCE#Also I'd move this tag up but genuinely idk if I can do that atm. But I'm LITERALLY guilty of the same shit. I immediately jump to no true#Scotsman the subject because I want to defend it!!! Yes I recognize the pattern is wrong and yes I genuinely believe it isn't necessarily#Inherent! But I still have to confront the fact that it's so prominent and to many people inseparable from the subject#(That being disability and body horror). I will say: my immediate instinct was to disregard any body horror that is just like Real Shit Tha#Happens To People as body horror but that's not helpful! I can't just say well it's not body horror BECAUSE PEOPLE STILL CALL AND SEE IT AS#BODY HORROR!!! I HAVE TO STOP AND CONSIDER THE LARGER IMPLICATIONS. My PERSONAL OPINIONS do not matter and the pedantic discussion is#Something to be had with friends or used as it's own criticism of the genre not ON THE POST CALLING OUT A REAL ISSUE! Anyway just.#Both artists and consumers have to be critical of What we see as body horror/what others tell us is body horror/what we accept as body#Horror bc/what we create as body horror etc. We NEED to confront that and we can't just say I Wouldn't Do That! We need to understand that#It goes deeper than that!!! Also YOU DONT INHERENTLY KNOW WHATS POSSIBLE FOR A HUMAN TO EXPERIENCE#There's so many things that ppl can experience and Live With! There are obviously things that are fatal so u rarely hear abt them but human#Beings can survive a lot of things!!! And here's the thing: the rarer something is the shittier it feels to have it misrepresented!!!#At the very basic level: CHECK IF THE THING YOU WANT TO USE AS BODY HORROR IS A RECORDED PHENOMENON AT LEAST!!! FOR THE LOVE OF FUCK#DO THE BARE MINIMUM
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tangyangie · 8 months
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𝐰𝐡𝐢𝐥𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐰𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐬𝐥𝐞𝐞𝐩𝐢𝐧𝐠
desc. how genshin characters sleep next to you!
notes. i love these ppl sm sobs
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they're so quiet. the only thing you can hear is their soft breath, maintaining a constant rhythm. they generally prefer to bury their head in your shoulder, but they're content just laying next to you. they're so easy to sleep next to. they probably completely shut off while they're asleep?? you will not feel a single thing. no water necessary. no bathroom breaks. they save feeling sick until the morning. in addition, a kiss on the forehead is the last thing you see before you fall asleep and the first when you wake up in the morning. all in all, they're super sweet—maybe, in a way, pretty old-fashioned. i give a 100/10.
lynette, tighnari, shenhe, XIAO, aether, ALBEDO, jean, EI, baizhu, KOKOMI, diluc, layla, ayato, ganyu
SO touchy. literally can't go more than ten seconds not being next to you. probably have a quiet, whispered conversation with you before bed—about anything at all. it's mostly to distract from the fact that they're feeling you up, but they still listen to every word you say. they mumble replies with a teasing voice as their fingers dance up your back, resting at your shoulder. nuzzling their head in your neck while lightly kissing you there. (maybe biting if they're into that...) if you want to get up to get water, they probably make you stay where you are so you stay comfy. they'll do everything for you. you want a massage at 3 in the morning? go ahead, ask. they won't refuse.
KAZUHA, zhongli, cyno, yae miko, BEIDOU, xinyan, lumine, LISA, keqing, candace, THOMA, kaeya
LOUD. that's all you really need to know—but you can barely sleep. it's like they don't need it. they'll stay up for hours on their phones, talking about the videos they're watching, what they did—anything at all that they can think of. you'd believe they'll eventually get tired and toss in the towel, but they could pull 10 all-nighters in a row if it meant you'd listen the whole time. other than that, they're usually pretty cuddly. They'll grab onto your arms and scrunch into a ball position, their knees nearly at their chest. They'll probably talk to you like that until they realized you've dozed off. Once they do, they kiss you on the nose and cuddle against you, letting out an unbelievably loud sigh. almost comically so. (it might wake you up and you'd have to fall asleep all over again...)
CHILDE, yoimiya, ITTO, heizou, yanfei, VENTI, hu tao, gorou, kirara
sarcastic and mean. can you even get more mean than these guys?? they (lovingly) insult and tease you before dragging you into the bed, tightly holding you against them. they'll most likely hold the back of your head by tangling their fingers in your hair, keeping you steady against their chest. to hear their breathing. they might give you a kiss on the forehead if you get lucky. if you decide to tease them by refusing this kiss, they'll probably spread their limbs across the bed to make sure you've got no room, and that you'll have to climb on top of them to be able to lay down comfortably. that's better than a kiss, in their opinion. you're wide open for sarcasm, teasing, and letting them be the meanies they are.
yelan, kaveh, SCARA, kuki shinobu, FARUZAN, dehya, KUJOU SARA, alhaitham, mona, ningguang
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notes. i hate school so much actually 🤗🤗 anyways GUTS WORLD TOUR IM SO EXCITED
mwah mwah i heart you guys 💋
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ment-llyunstable · 2 months
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Sugar on the Cream!
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Alastor x Reader Synopsis: Alastor found out about your powers and decided to take matters into his own hands to reestablish who's in charge at this hotel and that he was perfectly capable of destroying you. A warning to not try any funny business, though who's to say he didn't find the threat of you being more powerful absolutely enticing. Themes: +18, Slight Dubious Consent, Bondage, Breeding Kink, A/B/O Dynamics, Dominant Alpha Alastor, Alastor feeling threatened, Reader with Deal Breaking ability, AFAB Chubby Reader, G/N Omega Reader, Black Bear Reader, Cervix Penetration, Stomach Bulge, Knotting Word Count: 4,195
A/N: Not beta read!! Also, I know Alastor is canonically aro/ace. As someone who is aro/ace, I enjoy the representation. This is fiction for funsies. Being aro/ace doesn't mean you can't have sexual relations or romantic ones. Respectfully, we should recognize we all ship characters with whatever sexuality is canon, with the opposite of that canon. Like Hob Gadling x Dream of the Endless. Canonically, Dream has only ever been with women, he had a wife, etc. Like, let's not try and pretend we don't disrespect canons all the time and stop trying to be 'allies' or 'heroes'. It's fiction. It's not the Hat fic and writing like this isn't invalidating aro/ace ppl in any way imo. If it was, we could say all the Bakugou x Deku shit is invalidating the obvious crush Deku has on Ochako so we should all stop then, huh? Naw. My opinion so whatever. Anyway, hope you enjoy! Let me know if I should continue. Got a few ideas for this. but nothing concrete.
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"𝙒𝙝𝙚𝙣 𝙄'𝙢 𝙙𝙤𝙣𝙚, 𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙨𝙩𝙖𝙩𝙪𝙨 𝙦𝙪𝙤 𝙬𝙞𝙡𝙡 𝙠𝙣𝙤𝙬 𝙞𝙩𝙨 𝙧𝙖𝙘𝙚 𝙞𝙨 𝙧𝙪𝙣. 𝙊𝙝, 𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙨 𝙬𝙞𝙡𝙡 𝙗𝙚 𝙛𝙪𝙣!"
You weren’t sure how you got yourself into this situation. Well, you knew how, but to have the Radio Demon with his full attention on you, hand down your pants with fingers teasing and coaxing blood to the tiny nub of pleasure to life, was something you’d never thought would or could happen. You’d even witness him actively avoiding all physical contact around the others and keeping a distance between them at all times. You’d only ever seen Nifty be the only one who could lay a hand on him without him looking like he was repulsed behind gritted teeth.
You thought he was just annoyed by you as a person, but the dots slowly clicked as your mind raced to think of what could have possibly required him to want to entertain you in this way. The only thing you could think of was the Radio demon had heard you expressing your powers, in private, to Charlie. You knew it had been best to do so alone, not wanting to become a pawn to any prying ears, especially as an unclaimed omega. You didn’t think your powers would’ve been one to issue such a strong, sexual response from the demon whom you’d heard wasn’t interested in such flights of fancy. Plus, it wasn’t like you knew really how to use it as well and it wasn’t like you had been the nicest smelling omega around. You had only been staying at the hotel at most about four months, only discovering it after the whole fight the hotel had against Heaven.
Alastor’s claws must’ve been retractable, the digits were meticulously placed with firm pressure, switching between circling and up-and-down motion on your throbbing button. He leniently alternated to stroking around the bud and a bit down, not quite to your entrance, but in an attentive manner to figure out what you fancied. You could hear soft jazz in the background. You’d been placed upon his lap, facing away from him with both of your thighs on each side of his, those long legs of his making it difficult to try and close yours. You were trapped in the spot by onyx tentacles; one wrapped around each calf and a thicker one that squished into your plush stomach. Alastor’s free arm was wrapped-up around your upper torso, his large hand grasping your neck as if to dare you to try and escape. Your scent was rising in the air, the smell of chamomile, frankincense and sandalwood clouded the room. It was tainted with the sweetness of arousal, usually a more subtle scent combination for an omega but you’d never heard any complaints. For Alastor though, it was overbearing on his senses - it had reminded him too much of his human life and now to have it unfiltered between you was near deadly. Oh, how it fueled a fire you didn’t even know was there. Sure, you could appreciate the handsome, charming demeanor that was inherently Alastor, though his off-putting behavior and remarks had been enough to warrant a bit of distance. You were just at the hotel to help sinners and by the sounds of Alastor’s cackling of others pain, you could grasp easily you were not on the same page. There had been no need to engage besides pleasantries and his passive, condescending mannerisms was a deterrent. 
But, here you were with your pussy being flirted with by someone who you should be absolutely terrified of. However, you weren’t though, you weren’t dumb enough to not be cautious. If you were correct on your assumption, you knew you held a sort of bargaining chip he wanted, which had been the initial interest in you. You had been unsure if his intentions had been only business, nevertheless this event was telling more had been involved and brewing in Alastor’s head. This situation wasn’t supposed to be happening to begin with. He’d tempted you into a simple chat in his radio tower, only to corner you like this. If anything, you’d hoped he would have fessed up and tried to make amendments for his strange and creepy stalking behaviors. You knew he wouldn’t apologize for the added passive aggressiveness he displayed when having to interact with you so that was out of the question. 
“Do you think you can get in the way of my charity project here? Do you think you have the right to threaten me?”
Alastor asked this, his radio filtered voice animated and joyful though it covered obvious annoyance. 
The pressure of two of his fingers were becoming more intense as he sped up. A warm tingle spread like wildfire from your fingertips to your toes, igniting every nerve ending in a fiery blaze. Your heart raced in your chest, a primal drumbeat of desire that pulsed through your veins with a delicious urgency. You couldn’t stop the gentle, breathy pants that escaped your parted lips, hips twitching.  You could feel the gentle caressing of his breath on top of your head and forehead, his lithe body being much taller and bigger than your plump, small one, so he had to crouch over your form. He was watching you with zealous eyes and a fervid smile. 
“N-No, of course not. That’s not why I came to the hotel, Alastor. I wa… I wanted to help Charlie.” 
You weren’t lying. Your ability came with smaller powers that were much more laidback than breaking soul deals.  Sure, you had a few souls under your belt from when you’d first arrived in hell and unleashed your Justice upon one unlucky demon who you saw treat those who he owned unfairly and abusively. It had been the leader of a small gang that had been trying to establish a selling ground and you'd walked by to see the leader beating on a smaller demon who was desperately trying to explain that they'd gotten robbed. The anger you’d felt came out and it unleashed your wrath, a manifestation of a sword that cut through the chains. Those poor souls you set free gave you theirs as payment, seeing you’d never do such harm to them like that, that they could be free and never scared into having to sell their soul again to some awful sinner. You made sure they never told anyone of your powers and that they could have their freedom without you dictating or needing them. Your secret was safe. You had learned enough in your time in Hell to know how a sinner became an Overlord and the politics around it. That just wasn't your cup of tea. Nonetheless, you had the additional ability to manipulate auras though you’d only ever used it to calm potential attackers or anyone around you upset. It wasn’t anything too fancy or showy, but it had helped you more times than you could count. Considering yourself and other sinners, a calming energy would be helpful amongst the traumatized. You’d hoped Charlie would be able to use it when it came to her vision of redemption. To establish a safe place to heal, whether it turned to being able to redeem oneself or for just a healing journey. Dying and arriving in Hell was another round of trauma, it didn't hurt to try and work on healing.
Your gaze was all over the place despite wanting to look down to watch his hand in your pants but his grasp upon your neck prohibited in viewing such activities. You didn’t have enough focus to try and calm the radio demon but at this point, you didn’t think your manipulation to his aura would do anything. You hadn’t dared tried it since arriving and since he was already so worked up, it probably wouldn’t do much to deter him from his mission. The static radiating from his body penetrated yours, dancing amongst your skin in light prickles that had your little fuzzy ears cocked forward to listen.
“Oh, dearest. This is my entertainment. Not yours. I don’t enjoy thinking you may try to interfere or overthrow me — I advise you to not attempt your silly little powers on me.”
The grip on your neck tightened, his fingers picking up pace having already started feeling the wetness seep from you. Your arousal and exquisite pheromones were greedily inhaled by the cannibal, to savor the suggestion of a body ready for seed taking. It was a new urge for the radio demon to mark you with his seed, his scent and to taint you in such a ferocious manner. 
“My, my. How darling of you to be so quiet and submissive now. Are you frightened?” 
Alastor chuckled cheekily, the rumbling in his chest vibrated against your back. You honestly couldn’t care less about what he said, too focused on the quickening ministrations forced upon your now swollen clit. His own scent was filling the air, hitting your nostrils in gentle waves. He smelled of petrichor, the soothing scent before the rain hit the Earth. It was almost ironic.
Your breathing was shortening, the pleasure building with your lower muscles tightening. You weren’t scared at this point, especially feeling his hard dick pressed to your backside and his own arousal contaminating his natural scent. 
“Alastor— W-Wait, wait wait-…” Your face flushed with color, you closed your eyes trying to hold back your impending orgasm.
The male hummed, though didn’t stop his fingers as a black tendril slid its way from his side and down your trousers. The pointed appendage slid between your folds, teasing at your entrance. 
“I’m afraid there’s no waiting for you, my sweet. Now… cum for me.” 
He sounded humored at first, voice dropping an octave as he demanded you to reach your peak. As he said it, his tentacle shoved its way into your cunt, stretching and burying itself deep inside. That pushed you over the edge, the way the tentacle had pushed up against your cervix and caused you to come immediately. Your back arched, pressing back into him with eyes closed tightly and moan muffled by your own stubbornness with a bitten lip and flattened ears. Your cunt squeezed at the tentacle, earning attention from it by starting to move in and out of you with determination. The appendage fucked you through it, the high of your release trying to pass but instead once your cunt was fucked through your first orgasm, there was no stopping the tentacle from sending you straight into another. The second ripped through your body fast and harsh, the wetness audible to both of your ears. Your voice cut through the static with a sudden high-pitched moan, your thigh muscles quaking as you pressed your hips down against his. Alastor paid no mind to your squirming body in his lap, only removing the inky, wet tendril from your hole after your petite form relaxed, twitching from overstimulation.  
You were a complete mess at this point; face heated crimson with a light shine of sweat, bottom lip swollen from where you’d fought to keep yourself quiet, eyes half open and dazed. Alastor felt absolutely, utterly depraved seeing you like this. He could see you as equal to or more powerful than him - a righteous and conscientious mess. Never would he think someone so obviously pathetic would have such a power thus a power over him. He wanted you in more ways than one; to own you, to control you, and maybe to let you do the same with him. You’d be the only one who he could judge as worthy of such a thing, outright knowing you’d never give your soul to him. 
His hand on your throat released, clawed fingers slid down to the pants you wore and ripped through them easily. Underwear was shredded too, your wet and puffy cunt exposed to the cool air. You glanced down through blurry eyes, to the sight of Alastor using both hands now to grip onto your thighs. 
"What a performance! I'd say you deserve a reward for such a treat."
The deer demon used a shadowy tentacle to pull his cock out from between you both, the heavy shaft slapping up against your drenched slit. You jerked at the touch, still trying to catch your breath as you saw the tip of his cock leak, flushed with red and at the base was already the beginnings of a swollen knot. The shape was different than you’d thought it would be, the tip a notably large mushroom shape, the length connecting to it slender before flaring out larger in the middle before the rest of the length connected to the swollen knot. His scent was immensely clouding all your senses now, your omega body responding with profuse arousal. Oh, you wanted him now. It was undeniable of the chemistry of your two bodies, your inner omega preening at the idea of being so wanted and filled by such a strong Alpha. Your little black tail twitched eagerly, your small black ears pressing forward in alertness.
Alastor took your pause as the perfect opportunity to grind his hips up against you, his cock rubbing between your wetness, just slipping between the folds. You were trying to catch your breath still, eyes wide at the fact he must’ve been thinking his dick would fit. Your body was much smaller than his seven foot stature, surely he wouldn’t. 
But, he would try. This was power-play at its finest, Alastor wanted to assert his dominance and control over your body. He wasn’t keen on physical contact for sure, using rather violence to instill terror upon those who dare threaten his status. You, however, weren’t phased by his theatrics so now he had to take it into his own hands. You had the one ability that if you wanted to, you could either ruin or save Alastor and that pissed him the fuck off. 
"How cute. You're so wet for me."
The slick, lubricious sensation of his dick rubbing against you was utterly divine. You looked up at him, angling your head to the side with flickering eyes along his face. His scarlet eyes met yours, pupils dilated, his sinister grin stretched to its fullest to show his yellow-pointed teeth.
"P-Please-"
"Please, what? Hm? Speak up, you look stupid mumbling nothing."
Alastor opened his mouth, his long and pointed crimson tongue fell out to lick along your cheek. The muscle was smooth and only momentarily a distraction from him lifting your body up enough to start to bury the tapered head of his cock into your heat. Your body tensed at this regardless of the foreplay, your mushy and sopping cunt still resisting such an attempt of intrusion. 
“Mmf! Ha… Haa… Alastor it won't -”
“C’mon now, darling. I’m getting in one way or another~!”
He said this in a sing-song like voice, almost chastising you, static rising in sound near the end to emphasize his resolute and unwavering commitment to ensuring his dick would invade your tiny hole. Your head snapped forward, hands grasping on the armrests as some sort of stability. He used your body to bear down at the same time, your cunt forced to accommodate and stretch with a sweetened squeeze once the glans fit. The psychotic Overlord didn’t stop there, no. He knew you could take it, take pain and take what he could give you. 
Alastor didn’t give you a chance to soak in the way your pussy quivered in delight at being stretched so wide. He, instead, still holding at your plump waist and pulled you down no matter the resistance. His cock demanded your tight walls to envelope him, the swell of his appendage filling you quickly despite the inevitable ache. You were sure he wouldn’t get all the way down and he only paused once the tip of his dick hit your cervix. The absolute stretch and burn of the demons cock shoved you over the edge again in a premature yet strong climax of pleasure. 
“Oh, fuck!” 
You whined keenly, you nearly couldn’t stop cumming already, he was just so big that his length hit all the right bundles of nerves. Even now though, your pussy lips hadn’t swallowed him full nor reached the top of his knot. Your overly-sensitive and agitated clit thrummed between your legs, the frenzied spasms of your pussy’s muscles enticed a guttural snarl from him.
"Watch your language, omega. It's not very becoming of you."
Alastor’s sharp claws pricked at your clothing, digging more as he started moving your hips, to roll against his in a shallow motion. He didn’t lift you up too much, favoring to keep himself confined as deeply as he could. Your pussy walls made it incredibly hard for him, his focus on the way your pliable, tender cervix felt. Each hit of his tip was a kiss for your cervix to give in, to extend beyond normal measures and make your womb his. Your beseeching, eager moans and squeals left out of your lips, not bothering to saying anything. The sounds of your drenched pussy, strained sobs and skin meeting skin, were desirable compositions to the radio demon. 
“Sweetheart, your moans of ecstasy are like a melody to me. I must have you immerse me.”
Alastor dropped the radio filter just at the last word, voice lowered from he usual cheerful and velvety tone. You knew what he meant, your eyes widened with adrenaline and panic. You tried wiggling out of his grasp this time, the tentacles grip tightening and pulling taunt to stop you, the demon laughing in elation as he drove his cock deeper with an abrupt and harsh tug down. This time, the tender and swollen cushion of your cervix gave into his bullying cock, terribly uncomfortable yet endorphin releasing. 
You were fully seated on him basically limp, a passive and panting mess with dewy skin. Your raw pussy walls twitched and fluttered around his length, getting used to the strain. His large hands tenderly massaged your sides before merely resting on them. You could hear the static much louder now, his own breathing unbridled and heavy. You were sure if you looked down, no matter the soft meat on your tummy, it would be bulging from the sheer intrusion. You honestly couldn’t get your gaze to focus, overcome by the feeling of blissful fullness.
A drop of drool caught your attention, dripping onto your left shoulder and being absorbed by the dark sweater you wore. He was drooling over the tight, wet heat of your womb and overbeating want to mate you, nearly losing himself to his more demonic and feral form of himself with antlers elongating and scleras filling with black. 
“You don't realize what you've been doing to me. Angering me, not even confiding in me - a strong Alpha, of your powers. Always on my mind, always thinking of you. Seems like even now… You have me within your precious grasp, little bear.” 
Breathy, hungry  - the infernal Overlord shuddered underneath you. He started off easy, controlling your smaller, supple form with his grasp and demonic tentacles. He bounced you up and down his cock, only pulling you up enough to feel the crown of his glans hit the resistance of your cervix with a gratifying suck. It was like your pussy was trying to keep him inside, the walls felt like they were tightening every time he went to pull out whilst your juices leaked and slobbered over his stiff member. This drove the radio demon into an all-consuming, rageful want. 
The consuming urge to breed you heightened. He wanted you to smell of him, plump and well fed with a fawn inside your tummy. He already knew how fertile you were, mouth-watering pheromones lush with reminders. Alastor lifted you up, the shadowy tentacles holding on. His hips began thrusting up in a hurried pace. His cock pulled down on your cervix harshly, using your womb as his personal toy. His knot kept catching on your entrance, teasing your folds as a warning to what’s to come. 
Each gasp, each moan that escaped your lips was a symphony of ecstasy, a sweet melody of pleasure that echoed through the air like a siren's song. In that moment, you were lost in a whirlwind of sensation. Your every nerve ending alive with the intoxicating rush of pleasure. It was a moment of pure, unadulterated bliss. You couldn't deny that there was something intoxicating about the whole situation; the way his body moved against yours, the way his tentacles wrapped around you, the way his breath felt against your skin and how he'd taken all of this pleasure unprovoked. It had been too long since your omegan needs had been drawn out, your heats spent alone and cold.
The radio demon was entranced, intoxicated with your sounds, scent and plushness against him. He couldn’t stop the rest of his obsidian tendrils from finding their way to various places on your body, whether it be wrapping around you or fondling and rubbing your chest, thighs and stomach. Alastor wanted you to know how powerful he was, how he could consume you in all his glorious ways, and be a considerable candidate for a mate. The deer was truly feeling some conflicted feelings. Despite his cruel and domineering actions, there was a part of him that seemed to crave your power, your ability to challenge him, maybe a harbinger for change. You wondered if this was what he truly needed, someone to stand up to him and show him that he wasn't invincible.
You could feel it building again, the all-consuming and concentrated passionate feeling of your sensitive cunt reaching its cumulation. 
"I'm going to e a t you."
It was too much, eyes tearful as you felt his cool, wet tongue swipe sloppily at your neck with a gnarling sound. He was lapping and putting pressure on your scent glands, gladly tasting at your sweetness. It was incredibly difficult to not seal this side of the deal, forcing you to have to consider being his mate and manipulated by your own body since the mating tie would have been halfway made if he bit you. His own Alpha chanted and growled 'My Omega. Mine!' internally. His jaw unhinged to latch fully onto the conjunction of your neck and shoulder just below your flavorful scent glands. Alastor’s fierce and sharp-edged teeth sunk in, blood oozing thickly from the puncture wounds. He sucked and kept hold of you like that, enamored with the erotic, ambrosial taste of your blood.  Your desperate mewling was nonstop.
"A-Alpha, am gonna cum!"
The pain threw you over the edge and you came hard on his thick cock, your gooey wetness squishing out of you with every snap of his hips. His rough and jarring thrusts increased to fuck you through it. Your pussy was milking him, tightening and releasing his swelling cock - for him was heavenly, pleasure building up as his final push over the peak. He yanked your body down on him to secure his already bloating knot in you earning a debauched, filthy wail from your throat. Your gummy cunt strained and enveloped around him entirely, widely, slipping over his knot as it popped achingly into you. Once inside, the knot expanded, getting larger and larger and forcing your body to accept the wide bulge as it plugged your cunt. Your body tensed with hands grasping at the poor cushion of the chairs arms, muscles shaking violently as you felt his awfully hot, viscous cum enter your womb, filling it full. As Alastor's thrusts slowed, his breathing becoming more even, you knew that this was just the beginning. The power struggle between you two was far from over, and you knew that you would have to be careful in how you handled it.
But for now, you allowed yourself to bask in the afterglow of the encounter, feeling the warmth of Alastor's body against yours, and the heat of his cum inside you. You were slack against him and he fully leaned over you, his cock still leaking in you and his tentacles all stroking and rubbing tenderly along your body. Alastor’s hands slid underneath your top and cupped your belly’s softness, feeling where his dick and cum rested inside you snuggly as he unlatched his mouth from you. Those lean hands massaged the supple, swollen flesh instigating little, satisfied whines from you as you reveled in the mixed scent of blood and sexual afterglow. You were so full of his cock and seed, you knew when his knot went down it would leak heavily out of you.
"Good omega. So good for me, little omega." Alastor nuzzled to your scent gland, avoiding the now drying wound right underneath.
In this moment, you felt a strange sense of intimacy with the radio demon. Despite everything that had happened, you couldn't help but feel a connection with him, a bond that was forged in the heat of the moment. You wondered what would happen next, whether this would be the start of something more, or if it would end here and now. Maybe he’d try to kill you off for good. Who knows.
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fawnfictions · 2 months
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i know there’s a lot of this same prompt on this app but i love your writing and i would love to see it from you <33
OK!! Macaque and Wukong with a gender natural reader which simply LOVES their fur and gets really clingy on their tail and ear(s for macaque :3), treating them like a literal plushie
monkie plush!
— wukong & macaque, gn!reader
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i feel the need to personally apologise for how many months it took for me to post this <//3 i've been SO SLOW recently,, i can't guarantee i'll be getting any faster, either
heheuwudhhey!! none of u should worry about sending me an ask with a 'common' prompt—just because someone else has done it before, doesn't mean i won't want to write it!!! i like giving ppl my own opinion on these sorts of headcanons LOL
;; fluff, fluff, and more fluff!! (+mention of something more spicy, but nothing explicit)...
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WUKONG
- he RELISHES in any affection you give him, and he isn't afraid to show it.
- you'll come up behind him, embrace him while rubbing your face in his fur, and he will MELT.
- leans back into your arms, wrapping his tail around you to pull you even closer; and, if you're listening closely, you might hear quiet purring.
- honestly, he'll do the same to you — compared to monkey hair, human hair is VERY soft and feels very nice :3
- cuddles between you two are just constantly rubbing your faces in each others hair.
- i can also imagine that his tail would be sensitive, as most monkey's tails are...
- be careful, though, because certain areas of his tail are more sensitive than others — you may run into a situation you didn't mean to...
- ...ANYWAYS
- while i can imagine him being the big spoon a majority of the time, he could TOTALLY be a little spoon.
- he enjoys being able to hold YOU, since he likes feeling in control, and as if he's protecting you, but he'll happily sit back and let you cuddle him.
- play with his hair, twirl his tail, brush him...
- tbh, the other monkeys would probably join you a lot, interpreting it as a grooming session.
- me and the boys [monkeys], grooming each other on a sunday morning.
- he will complain, though, if you don't let him cuddle YOU sometimes.
- you two are almost sickening with the amount of PDA you show; cue MK pretending to puke in the background, but Wukong does have SOME decency, and will get a little embarrassed if you take it too far.
- if you're both out in public, chilling in Megapolis or something, and you start rubbing your face in his fur and cooing at him? he'll go red pretty quickly, and shyly respond with small affections in an attempt to sate your clinginess for now.
- this especially goes for being around people he feels the need to keep a reputation up with — like, the brotherhood, although most of them would laugh it off, they'll tease him for it at some point, or anyone from the celestial realm.
- he'll make it up to you later with plenty of cuddles, but for now? he's gotta look cool and tough in front of lil' old Nezha /j
MACAQUE
- hes touch starved as hell (we all know it).
- BUT he gets shy when it comes to affection, but he's hypocritical about it...
- constantly drapes himself over your shoulders, resting his head on top of your own when he gets the chance, etc etc.
- however, if you DARE even try to hug him, he's gonna get real nervous.
- doesn't know how to properly relax at your touch; he may not exactly move away from you, but he won't lean into it (at first).
- this especially goes for PDA – he loves you, but not now; he's gotta look cool and mysterious at all times.
- if you're with people that he lets his guard down around, he'll be a bit more playful with you.
- he notices you attempting to sneak behind him for a cuddle attack? next thing you know, theres a familiar cape-covered arm thrown over your shoulder, blocking your affection with his own with a teasing smile.
- he IS different when in private, though !!
- more willing to give in to your touches, but it is clear that he's unsure how to feel about it.
- after a while, though, i feel that he would learn to find a lot of comfort in your hands ?
- like, if he's had a rough day, he'll probably seek you out to be showered in affection,, in a way, it makes him feel very loved and worthy.
- he's such a little spoon too, i'm sorry LOL
- but he has his confident days, just ask and he'll be happy to be the one holding you instead.
- it took a while for him to be comfortable with normal affection, yeah? well, it's gonna take even LONGER for him to be comfortable with touching his ears, let alone losing the glamour on them.
- the day he lets his glamour down around you, is the day he's decided that you're stuck with him forever, sorry to break it to you...
- his ears are VERY sensitive, so please be careful, he's very cautious with you touching them.
- but he'll never admit how nice it feels for you to massages his ears, especially with how much stress they give him from the loud noises in the city (not that you can't tell, he's practically melted into your lap and would ABSOLUTELY be purring if he could).
- overall, it takes time, and he won't ever be fully comfortable with PDA, but he's a big softie in private <3
240 notes · View notes
cinnajun · 11 months
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ᵕ̈ ೫˚∗: 365 days | pgw
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summary | the first year of your relationship with park gunwook, quantified by 12 separate events.
genre | park gunwook x fem!reader, high school!au, very slice of life, fluff, angst, y/n is bisexual, roughly 1 month has passed in between every part
warnings | jealousy + attempted sabotage, the horrors of girlhood (insecurity, slight mention of beauty standards, comparison)
wc | 12.7k
a/n: if you listen close enough you can hear me screaming in agony ++ can someone please remind me how to think up ideas that don't require several thousands of words
ft. youngeun and yeseo from kep1, boys planet/redstartz junhyeon, ppl i made up
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i. confession
Tears bunch in your eyes as you sit behind your school building, the intensifying heat of spring embracing you like a warm hug. You feel devastated like someone had just stabbed you through the heart and left you to bleed.
“I think you’re overreacting, [First].” Youngeun’s voice is gravelly over the phone yet still uneasy, overall impacted by the sound of her gym class. Yeseo, who’s sitting next to you, hummed, although you weren’t sure if she was agreeing with Youngeun or not. “I mean, is it so bad he knows? It was bound to happen, probably.”
“Well, no, it wasn’t,” you stuttered, trying to keep the urge to sob and scream at bay. “And, to be fair, that’s not what I’m worried about. I’m worried about what else Yukyung was telling people without me knowing.”
Youngeun begins to speak but doesn’t get more out than a squeak, and you can almost imagine her opening and closing her mouth in an instant. Yeseo picks up the slack, saying, “Well, it’s worse to assume than to deal with the facts. Yukyung, for whatever reason, told Gunwook about your crush on him and showed him the texts, and it’s getting out among our classmates. In my opinion, there’s one course of action you should take.”
“Which is?”
“Youngeun tells Gunwook that you want to talk to him after school, and then you talk to him after school.”
You groaned audibly and Youngeun gasped, presumably in horror. You stared at her in exasperation, letting a single tear fall down your face. Yeseo wiped it off with her cardigan’s sleeve, frowning at you. “I mean, the worst that could happen is that he doesn’t feel the same way and you feel embarrassed for a couple of months. And we all unfriended Yukyung pretty much instantly, so she won’t be around anymore.”
“Doesn’t matter, still happened,” you replied. “I don’t want to see him ever again. I’d rather die than see him again.”
Yeseo put a hand on your back, while Youngeun yelped at the sound of a basketball hitting the closet she was hiding in. “I’ll ask him, and you’re gonna do it, [First]. You can’t skip a week of school during the first week of school.”
“Who said I was going to skip?”
“Every time you’re minorly embarrassed by something you skip school,” Yeseo said, looking at you like you were insane. “Like that one time you got a bad score on our math midterms during our first year and the teacher asked you what happened in front of everyone, so you skipped 2 days and sulked in your room.”
“That was warranted,” Youngeun commented, which caused Yeseo to glare at the phone. “But! Not the point. For all you know, Gunwook could like you back, and you’ll be able to say you had a boyfriend in high school. Right?”
“The chances of that are incredibly low,” you whined, drawing your knees up to your chest and burying your head in between them. “We’ve barely even talked. We just sit kind of next to each other during our cram classes, and that’s it.”
“He could be delusional too!”
“Are you calling me delusional?”
“The bell is about to ring,” Yeseo cut in, grabbing your phone out of your hands. You immediately popped out of your fetal position, reaching for it as quickly as you could. “Youngeun, leave the supply closet and ask him, please. Pick a location and text the groupchat. [First] and I have to go back to the classroom so we don’t get in trouble for skipping our study block.”
With that, she hung up and left you to your devices. The day passed agonizingly slowly after that, and you found yourself struggling to focus on anything your teacher said. At some point during your study block, Yukyung had left, leaving you alone at your desk with no seatmate to annoy or watch (not that you wanted her there, anyway) for the day. That was likely out of embarrassment, too, as now your classmates, who generally liked you, weren’t as sure on how to deal with the newfound information.
The only other thing worth noting was that, during your 5-minute break in between classes, Yeseo told your homeroom teacher what happened and she approved you switching hers and Yukyung’s desks after school, but, other than that, you felt your sanity whittling away by the minute.
Youngeun had haphazardly chosen a tree behind the gym, typically reserved for successful confessions, because she’d been staring at it out the window as she talked to Gunwook (which she described as the scariest conversation of her life) and didn’t know where else would work.
According to her, he’d blushed as she asked, accepting on the pretense that it wouldn’t take long because he promised his older brother that he’d get dinner with him that night. Initially, you lamented over the fact that you wouldn’t have anyone to stare at during your after-school classes, but it quickly dawned on you that he thought you were going to confess to him (which was true—you were going to confess to him).
Then, when you got done with class for the day, one of your classmates—Gyuvin—hit you on the shoulder on the way out with a quick “good luck!”
It took Yeseo dragging you to the gym and offering you $20 and a free fun drink afterward for you to get used to the idea you were doing this, and about another 3 minutes of you panicking at her in a hushed whisper while she told you to get over yourself. Then, Youngeun sprinted over, panting and still half in her gym clothes.
“You didn’t change after gym?”
“Not the focus! You’re actively making him wait!” she choked out, apparently exhausted from her mad dash. You rolled your eyes, dropping your bag down next to them and taking a deep breath.
“If I throw up on him, I’m going to kill you.”
With that, you began your death march to the tree, where Gunwook stood, scrolling through his phone. The sight of him made your stomach explode with butterflies, which you tried to shut down given your (supposed) fate of rejection. You were mentally preparing yourself to be in turmoil for the next few days, but deep down, all you wanted was to rewind time to when you told Yukyung about your silly, little crush and stop it from ever happening.
Your crush on Gunwook was never meant to go anywhere but your brain, and now you were walking up to him, about to pour out feelings that were half-manufactured by Yukyung convincing there was a future that would come with them.
“Hi,” you managed, causing Gunwook to spin around and shove his phone in his pocket.
“Hi,” he replied, scratching his neck as if he was unsure what to do with his hands. “Um, how are you?”
It was a stupid question, and you could tell he knew that. Of course you wouldn’t be doing well—one of your best friends told the entire world (him, and then one of his friends leaked it to the rest of the school) your entire life story (a single crush).
“Could be better.”
“Yeah.”
You looked off to the side, seeing Gyuvin and Junhyeon, who you knew were close to him, watching from a second-story window in the school building. You tried to ignore it, but you knew you’d hyperfocus on it now.
“Look, I’m sorry,” you finally breathed out, twiddling your thumbs. “Yukyung—I don’t know what to say that you don’t already know. I guess I have a bit of a crush on you. Sorry.”
“Sorry? Why are you sorry?” he asked, sounding genuinely perplexed. You looked back up at him, shrugging.
“Well, it’s weird. We don’t really know each other, and then a girl you don’t know very well is suddenly telling you that I’m head over heels for you.”
“You’re not?”
“Well, I wouldn’t say it that way, no. Just a crush. Not much else.”
You thought there would be a weight off your shoulders once you managed to say it to his face, but it was, quite literally, the opposite. Your stomach was tightening up and your throat was closing, but you didn’t move, just staring him in the face.
“So it would be awkward if I professed my undying love for you right now.”
You flinched at that, frowning. “That was kind of mean.”
Gunwook’s face dropped when you said that, and he shook his head rapidly. “No, not—I wasn’t making fun of you, I swear. I promise. It was a bad way of saying I have a crush on you too. Sorry. Uncalled for. Didn’t mean it.”
The words fell from his mouth like an avalanche, and all you could do was stare at him in awe. “Wait, really? Why?”
“Why? I don’t know. We spend a lot of time together, even if we don’t talk often,” he said, shoving his hands into his pockets. “We were in the same class for our first year, then we started at the same cram school, and now we sit near each other. You’re entertaining to watch when you’re taking notes.”
“You stare at me in class?” you asked, genuinely shocked at his admission. You thought you stared at him enough during the same classes that it was impossible he could’ve been doing the same thing. Apparently, he was good at catching you when you weren’t watching his every move. “Creep.”
“Like you don’t? If I’m a creep, what are you? You’re way worse than I am,” he replied. “Whatever, it doesn’t matter. What now?”
You tapped your chin, looking back over at the window Gyuvin and Junhyeon had been in. They were gone now, presumably to meet Gunwook when your conversation was over. “We could try being a ‘thing.’”
“A thing?”
“I don’t think we know each other well enough for like—I don’t know, for me to call you boyfriend,” you replied. “So we can just be a ‘thing.’ No strings attached! And we can go on a date or two. Maybe.”
“A date or two? Whereabouts?”
You smiled, and he did too; you were shocked at how well he managed to goad information out of you. You tended to say things but never follow up on them, not unless you were pestered over and over again—it had taken Yeseo nearly a year to get it down.
“Do you like the zoo? Recently, I’ve been wanting to go to the zoo. They have a new baby bear—cub?—that I wanna see. Perhaps on Sunday? Are you free then?”
“I might be free on Sunday,” he said, handing his phone out of his pocket. He unlocked it, pressing a couple of buttons before handing it to you with an empty contact screen open. “How about we talk about it later? I’m late for meeting my brother.”
You typed in your name and number, sending yourself a quick text so you’d be able to initiate if you felt he didn’t text you fast enough. “Sounds good to me. I’ll see you later. Tell your brother I said hello.”
“Okay, sounds good,” Gunwook chuckled. He reached out and ruffled your hair, giving you a wide, bright smile that could’ve overpowered the sun if he tried hard enough. “I’ll see you later, so we can start our ‘thing.’”
“Yup, bye-bye. See you tomorrow.”
ii. lunchtime
You and Gunwook, mostly on purpose, don’t spend a lot of time together at school. Sometimes, you say hi and smile at him when you walk into his classroom to grab Youngeun, but, other than that, you keep it separate.
For one thing, it makes it easier to keep it “no strings attached,” as you’d proclaimed the day Yukyung briefly ruined your life, but it also was somewhat fun for you and him to not address what happened. Thanks to Gyuvin, half—if not all—of your grade had heard about it, and someone had spotted the both of you under that god-forsaken tree, but you hadn’t said a thing.
For you two, it was like nothing had happened, and, for everyone else, it was like a bomb they were just hoping would go off. It was fun—like you were living out a cliche, teen drama.
So, when Gunwook sauntered into your classroom in the middle of your lunch period, proudly holding a bottle of special juice you briefly talked about wanting, you were somewhat shocked. For the most part, you weren’t mentally prepped to interact with him during the day, especially as Yukyung watched on with her new couple of friends from the corner of the room.
You, Youngeun, and Yeseo stared at him as he approached, Gyuvin following close behind. He put the drink down in front of you, a proud smile on his face. “Look,” he said, gesturing towards it, so you looked. It was a brand of juice—they advertised it as a “smoothie,” but it was just slightly thicker juice—that you’d enjoyed a lot on a trip to the United States that you’d gone on a while back.
You hadn’t seen it once in Korea, even after taking Yeseo with you to search for it for hours. “Where in the world did you get this?” you spluttered out, picking it up. It was chilled, too, as if he’d been keeping it in a refrigerator (or, an insulated lunch box with an ice pack in it).
“He didn’t,” Gyuvin snorted, putting an arm around Gunwook’s shoulder. “Junhyeon did while he was in Busan this weekend.”
Gunwook hit him hard on the chest, clearing his throat. “Do you like it? Are you excited?”
“The right flavor and everything,” you replied, a surge of joy running through you. “Thank Junhyeon for me, okay?”
Gunwook scoffed, mumbling, “It’s not like I didn’t pay him back twice the price or anything,” under his breath. You held up your fist, to which Gunwook stared at it, somewhat dumbfounded.
“What?”
“You want a fist bump from me?” he asked incredulously. You nodded, exaggerating the movements to make it seem like he was missing the obvious. So, he bumped your fist with his, shaking his head. “See you after school, [First].”
“Yup, I’ll see you.”
And you watched him walk out, Gyuvin in tow—and, from the corner of your eye, you saw Yukyung watching his every move, up until he left the classroom.
iii. field trip
The third-year field trip was something you’d looked forward to for a long time—as a way to force students to take a break from their studying, your school sent all the first years to some fun location, paying for most of it with donations they got from alumni and parents.
This year, they’d had the bright idea to send you all to Hawaii, which had been both shocking and exciting. The farthest they’d ever sent anyone was Jeju, and that was a few years ago; but, they’d got some huge donation this year and decided to splurge.
So far, the trip had been fun, for the most part. On the airplane, you’d forced Gunwook to sit next to you so that you could hold his hand every time the plane shook (he’d laughed at you over your fear of turbulence, but you were too aware of the fact that he was rubbing your hand with his thumb to care). Almost all of your classmates, to whom you had not disclosed the nature of your “thing” yet, had stared at you every time they walked past. About halfway through, Youngeun, who’d volunteered to be the third wheel, leaned over and told you she was pretty sure the news was making its way down the plane, and people were getting up to fact-check it for the row members.
“That’s stupid,” Gunwook laughed, pulling your hand onto his tray table. “Doesn’t everyone know [First] is just afraid of planes? Nothing else going on here, not at all.”
Then Yeseo had popped her head above her seat and turned around to face you, an eyebrow raised. “Have you two kissed yet?” she’d asked out of nowhere, to which you shrugged.
“Why would we kiss when nothing is going on?”
Then, upon arrival, you and Gunwook had sat next to one another on the bus to the hotel, to which you’d promptly fallen asleep on his shoulder (since you didn’t sleep much on the plane) for the entire ride. You woke up to him holding your hand again, scrolling through his phone haphazardly.
After that, you’d had all eyes on the both of you—when you got to the hotel, while you were listening to your teachers give instructions, while keys were being handed out. And, as a result of what you assumed was anxiety over not knowing English, Gunwook and his two friends, Junhyeon and Gyuvin, followed you, Yeseo, and Youngeun around for the entire trip.
Then, on the third day of the trip, Gunwook asked if you’d want to go on a date with him. The idea was silly to you—not because you didn’t want to, but because you were two teenagers going on a date on your almost-all-expenses-paid trip to Hawaii.
That’s what you were doing now. It was the day before you were to head back home, and Gunwook had, for lack of a better word, taken you out. To a fancy restaurant—where he made you translate the entire menu and order for him—and to get some sort of fancy pineapple dessert afterward. Now, you were strolling on the beach, watching the sun fall below the horizon slowly but surely.
“How much longer until curfew?” you asked, turning around to face him. You continued walking backward, lacing your hands together behind your back.
“About half an hour. We’re close enough to the hotel that we don’t have to start walking back now, but we should think about it soon.”
You hummed, stopping abruptly. You faced the shoreline, listening to the sound of the waves draw in and out like breaths from a sleeping person. It was so alive, yet not at the same time, and it mesmerized you; you’d never seen an ocean like this before.
“You look pretty tonight,” he mused, staring at you rather than the ocean. You scoffed, rolling your eyes at the comment.
“Look at yourself in the mirror.”
“I’m not pretty, I’m beautiful, thank you very much.”
A question was bubbling up in your throat now, much like the water in front of you. You felt a surge of anxiety wash through your stomach, and you were mentally transported back to that tree from a couple of months ago. The pure embarrassment you felt was gone and replaced with a sort of hope that was more painful than uplifting, as if it was a glass cup teetering on the edge of a table.
“I have a question,” you started, banishing the unease from your stomach.
“Oh, yeah?” he asked, raising his eyebrow. He wouldn’t look away from you, no matter how much you tried to focus on the sight in front of you. A crooked smile bloomed on his face which should’ve quelled your worries in an instant, but, for some reason, it only made them worse. “I suppose I have an answer for you.”
“Do you?”
“I just might, if you manage to ask the question.”
“Okay, here I go,” you said, mustering up all your courage and turning to face him. His eyes sparkled in the sunlight, and you immediately felt discouraged just looking at him. He was right—he was beautiful, almost impossibly so. Yet, here you were, boring and average, barely even able to hold a T to him. Plus, the only reason you were even here was because someone you’d considered a best friend had told him you liked him, and now you were getting into your head over something that was long over.
His smile dropped a bit when he (most likely) realized you were panicking a bit, but he didn’t say anything, simply waiting patiently for you to continue. You forced yourself to regain focus, shaking your head as the image of Yukyung permeated in your mind. He grabbed both of your hands as a way to help soothe the worry, and it worked as well as it could, pulling you back into reality.
“Do you want to be my boyfriend, maybe?” you finally asked, watching as his face lit up against the sun.
“Do I?” he asked back, allowing himself to smile fully. “This is the best question I’ve ever been asked. Seriously.”
“Seriously?”
Gunwook giggled, swinging your hands around a bit. “Can I kiss you? Pretty please?”
“Can you?” you mimicked, feeling the heat rising in your cheeks. Gunwook giggled again, leaning down and pressing a kiss to your lips. It was slow and sweet, his lips soft and tasting slightly of the pineapple you’d had earlier. He laughed and smiled through the entire thing, squeezing your hands in delight before letting go and wrapping his hands around your waist. As cliche as it was, you draped your hands around his neck, starting to giggle too.
When he pulled away, he leaned his forehead against yours, still chuckling in delight. “This is so exciting,” he said, rocking you back and forth on the sand. “I’m so excited. I feel like I’ve been waiting for this for my entire life, you know? Even if I’ve only known you for three years. I can’t explain it—it’s unexplainable. I’m so excited.”
“You know what, I’m getting the idea you might be excited.”
And Gunwook shut you up with another elated kiss, ending your night in an impenetrable wall of pure joy.
iv. sleepover
Your parents were adventurers and you decidedly weren’t, which often meant you had your house to yourself. It was nice, mostly because it allowed you to spread out all your study stuff on the dining room table and do all of your work right then and there without your parents talking to you every 20 seconds.
Sometimes, though, things didn’t go as planned, and you had to do things you didn’t want to do. Namely, spend the night in the house completely alone. Every creak or thump made your heart beat out of your chest, which ended up in you taking a knife and a flashlight through the entire house with the emergency number pre-dialed.
Oftentimes, it ended with you not sleeping and then having to miss school because of over-exhaustion.
You were sitting in your living room while on the phone with Gunwook (he claimed you were moral support for his studying) when your mom texted you, the message starting with a bunch of emojis, which was her way of beginning a message with bad news.
“Oh god,” you said, cutting through the hour-long silence you’d maintained with your boyfriend.
“Huh? What’s up?”
“My mom texted me. There’s some huge accident on the freeway, so they’ve got the entire thing blocked off. Traffic is awful on other routes so they’re just going to pull off to a motel and sleep there tonight.”
“Oh no,” he said, and you could tell he was preoccupied with whatever math problem he was doing. “House to yourself, I guess?”
“I’m glad it’s Saturday,” you said, frowning. “I’m not gonna get any sleep tonight.”
“Why not?”
“I don’t like being completely alone in the house. I’m convinced someone’s gonna come in and kill me.”
“Hmm,” Gunwook hummed, pausing briefly. “I could come over and stay the night? I’ll leave early in the morning so they don’t find out I was there.”
Realistically, you knew you should say no because the chance of your parents finding out about Gunwook terrified you, but you had poor judgment and liked your boyfriend too much to turn down seeing him. “Would you actually? It’s kind of late, and I wouldn’t want to make you walk that much in the dark.”
“It’s not that far of a walk,” he said, and you could hear him packing his school stuff already. The sound of pencils clinking against pencils and books closing made you feel all warm and fuzzy—instead of studying for the test that was going to decide his fate as an adult, he was coming to make sure you felt comfortable and safe.
“Oh yeah, because 30 minutes is ‘not that far.’ Just get it over with and tell me you’re in love with me.”
Gunwook cleared his throat at your quip, choking on air. You snickered, finding how flustered he got at the “L-word” quite cute (as if you wouldn’t do the same thing). “I’ll be there shortly.”
He hung up the phone without saying bye, most likely out of embarrassment, which made you feel proud of yourself. And, true to his word, he showed up about fifty minutes later, balancing his school backpack on one arm and another bag on the other. “Do you know how hard it is to jump out of your window with two bags?” he asked, walking into your house as if it was his own. You wondered if he cared about the fact that he’d never actually been inside before, given he’d only ever walked you home, but you assumed his unwillingness to do his usual hello-and-hug meant he was somewhat flustered by it.
“Are you moving in, or something? What’s in the bags?”
“Well, I can’t stay the night without all my nighttime stuff,” he huffed, breezing past you and dropping his bags off next to the stairs. You watched him look around frantically, and you somewhat assumed that he’d hung up on you because he’d realized what exactly he had suggested and had no way of backing out of it now (you hoped he hadn’t even thought about backing out).
“You’re such a diva,” you scoffed, shuffling back into your living room and returning to your position on the couch. He sat next to you, leaning against the armrest and putting his legs on top of yours. You rolled your eyes, picking up the remote and pressing play.
“So, what are we watching?”
“Whatever romcom was playing when I turned the TV on,” you replied, keeping your focus on the screen. Suddenly you were feeling embarrassed even though you’d been feeling so egotistical a second ago, as you were realizing you were in more danger here than he was. He’d successfully snuck out (or so he said, but you were pretty sure he probably told his mom and then snuck out the window to avoid his dad finding out), but your parents lived here, and if they got here before you were expecting them, it was over for you.
It dawned on you that you needed to find out when they were planning on getting back, so you wrenched your phone out of your pocket, furiously typing to your mother. Gunwook noticed, pointing at you and laughing. “You were so high and mighty a second ago, and now look at you. Somebody realized they’re going to be in bigger shit than I am.”
“Shut your mouth,” you hissed, watching the little bubble that indicated your mom was typing.
“Maybe we should send her a selfie, huh? Just so she knows a random teenage boy that she doesn’t know is in her house,” Gunwook continued, sucking all of the confidence you’d once had out of the air. “She’d be super excited, right?”
“If you’re not out of my house by 5:30 tomorrow morning, I’m going to break up with you,” you announced, glaring at him. He made a face at you, shaking his head.
“Be glad I like you so much. Waking up at 5:30 is brutal. I didn’t even do that when Gyuvin got his appendix out and texted me thirty times to ask if I’d be there when he got out of surgery.”
“You liar, Gyuvin literally told me that you showed up with flowers and a get-well-soon card.”
Gunwook blushed at that, clearing his throat. “Okay, whatever, fine. Let’s just watch the movie.”
The two of you got about twenty minutes of the romcom in before he checked the time and announced that you were both going to sleep. You said he could go on his own—midnight was early for both of you, and you weren’t the one waking up at 5:30—but he got all whiney, turning the TV off and picking you up from the couch.
You’d gone through the motions of your nighttime routine together, with Gunwook’s being about fifty steps longer than yours. You ended up sitting on the floor while he put on a million serums and waited thirty minutes in between each one, claiming it was to “let each product soak into his skin.”
You texted Youngeun and Yeseo about it, not thinking about the implications behind waiting for him to finish his skincare routine. Immediately, they began blowing up your phone, and you promptly muted your group chat and their individual text threads, not wanting to deal with the onslaught of questions they were likely unleashing onto you.
Then, you looked up to see Gunwook putting on a lip mask. Knowing it was probably the last step in his routine, you hopped up from the floor, staring at the small, pink container that the gel lived in. “Oh, I’ve always wanted to try that out,” you said, not thinking about it too hard. “Is it nice? Does it work?”
“Shouldn’t you know better than anyone whether it works or not?” he asked, raising an eyebrow. You slapped him hard on the shoulder, causing him to yelp in pain. “Okay, geez, yes, it works. Do you want to try some?”
“Oh, can I—”
Before you could even finish your sentence, Gunwook leaned down and kissed you somewhat hard, almost causing you to stumble back a bit. Either way, you almost immediately broke it off, incredibly flustered at the act. You slapped him again, although this time it was a million times weaker. “You’re so stupid, oh my god, you cliche loser.”
“Be grateful I was willing to give you any, this stuff is expensive,” Gunwook said, cackling. He put a bit more on his finger, rubbing it into his lips to compensate for what he lost from kissing you. “I thought you liked kissing me, no?”
“I also like the thought of you getting hit by a train. These things aren’t mutually exclusive,” you huffed, looking to the side. “Whatever. I’m going to my room.”
“Ooh, me too,” he said, draping an arm around your shoulders as you walked past him. He kept himself in step with you, flicking the bathroom light switch off as you both exited the room.
“Who said we’re sleeping in the same room?” you asked, raising an eyebrow. Gunwook laughed in your face, causing you to frown.
“Okay, sure, but one noise and you’ll be prancing into the guest room like a scared dog.” “Who said I had a guest room? Go to the couch.” You wiggled out from under his arm, opening the door to your bedroom and flicking the lights on. Gunwook continued following after you, but quickly walked past you and climbed under the duvet on your bed. Somehow, he’d already plugged his phone in and put his bags neatly in the corner of your room—it must’ve been when he walked out to grab his toner pads from his bag—and had settled into your bedroom quite nicely. You stared at him in awe as he yawned, patting the bed next to him.
“It’s bedtime.”
“For you.”
He laughed at you again, patting the bed once more. You shut your bedroom door behind you, turning your phone’s flashlight on and turning the lights off as soon as they’d come on. You shuffled over to the bed, sliding in next to him and cuddling up to him. He reciprocated, putting an arm on your waist and giggling.
“You giggle too much.”
“Good night, [First]. I won’t wake you up tomorrow morning, but I’ll be out by 5:30. Promise.”
Even though you weren’t tired, you fell asleep like a baby next to Gunwook, basking in the warmth he brought. You were pretty sure you’d fallen asleep before him, actually, but you swore up and down it was because he’d been humming to you and rubbing your back in a way that was more relaxing than you would’ve liked it to be.
So, when you woke up the next morning, the sun barely peeking through your curtains, to find him gone, you felt relief. You groaned, turning over to search for your phone, which was, as always, placed on your bedside table.
You picked it up, barely being able to make out the time—5:01 am. Huh, you thought, frowning. He left earlier than he needed.
And then you looked at your notifications—three texts from your mother.
2:34 am—Hi honey, the motel was uncomfortable and we couldn’t sleep, so we’re getting an early start. I know you get paranoid, and I hope you’re not awake, but texting to let you know just in case you are. Should be there about 4:30.
3:47 am—Update, we’ve hit some early traffic, so probably closer to 4:45. It might still be 4:30 if we’re lucky.
Finally, 4:11 am—We got lucky!!! We’ll be there in 10. Assuming you’re asleep…am glad. Can’t wait to be in my own bed.
You shot up from your bed, suddenly feeling more awake than you’d ever been in your life. With what little sunlight there was, you looked to the corner of the room, clearly seeing two black bags that didn’t belong to you. Then, an extra phone on your nightstand.
Panic set in. You, as quietly as you could, got out of bed, shuffling to the door. With a hand haphazardly placed on the knob, you pulled your door open, cringing at even the slightest of noises. You heard the sound of a glass hitting your table downstairs, and you felt like crying.
Slowly, you tiptoed down the stairs, catching sight of Gunwook, blue sweater on and exhaustion written on his face, sitting across from both of your parents. Breakfast was ready on the table, and Gunwook had a full plate in front of him, but it had barely been touched.
He noticed you first, looking up at you from the table. He looked violently uncomfortable, pleading for you to come save him, and you just about turned around and went back to your room.
“[First],” your dad said, turning his head to look at you. “Why don’t you come join us? I suppose you have a few things to explain.”
v. ice cream
You loved summer for a multitude of reasons—the lack of school, the increase in fun treats, and the overall happiness that came upon everyone during your one month off of responsibility. So, when you caught wind of a fair opening up, you knew you couldn’t pass up going.
Your first invites were Yeseo and Youngeun, since the three of you always spent your summers at amusement parks and pop-ups. But, they’d had the bright idea to invite along your boyfriend and his couple of friends—it would be okay, they said, since there’s three of you and three of them. So, you did, and you were entirely grateful that you had.
You didn’t know Gyuvin or Junhyeon very well before today; Gyuvin tended to follow Gunwook around, and Junhyeon had bought you juice once upon a time, but that was about it. It was the same for Gunwook and your couple of friends, as the most they’d interacted with him was on your plane ride to Hawaii.
Seeing your friends getting along with his warmed your heart, and it had put together a day you would never forget, most likely. About twenty minutes ago, your four accompaniments had made up some excuse as to why they needed to separate from the two of you, which had left you strolling through the fair as the sun was beginning to set.
The sky had erupted into a million different colors, namely pinks and purples, which you were particularly enamored by. You’d endearingly linked your arm with Gunwook’s and you’d been walking through the local artist alley that they’d put up.
“I’m glad it’s cooling down,” you said, staring at a booth where a woman was showing off all of her handmade jewelry pieces, which you found to be quite impressive. “As much fun as a fair is, it always sucks when it’s too hot to enjoy.”
“It wasn’t that hot today, though, was it?” he replied. “I mean, it got warm around 3, but that was just about it. I thought today was relatively tame compared to the rest of the week.”
“Okay, Fireboy, whatever you say. But, for the record, tame compared to the rest of the week doesn’t mean much when it was nearly 35° the other day,” you scoffed. Gunwook chuckled, and you looked over at him, intending on continuing to talk about the heat. But, a booth behind him caught your eye, distracting you from whatever you were planning on saying next.
You unlocked your arm from his, smiling mischievously at him. “Wait here,” you said excitedly, pulling your wallet out of your tote bag. You quickly walked over to the ice cream booth that you’d seen in the distance, the thought of how cold it would be tainting your mind. Even just a little bit of freedom from the heat was enough to sweep you off your feet, at this point.
“What would you like?” the server asked, to which you smiled at her, staring at the menu.
“Um, just two vanilla cones, please,” you said, realizing you had no clue what flavor of ice cream he’d even want. You hoped he didn’t have a terrible disdain for vanilla, but you doubted he did, given you’d never seen him actively dislike any food in your life. You got the amount of money it cost out of your wallet and placed it on the counter, shoving your wallet back in your bag.
The server handed them to you, and you thanked her, turning back around to hobble back to where you’d left Gunwook. And, as you did, you were met with quite possibly the worst sight in the world—he stood off to the side of the jewelry booth talking to someone. Namely, he was talking to Yukyung.
Of course she would be here—before she’d broken your trust, she tagged along on your summer adventures. She was your best friend once upon a time, and now, she was not much other than a bad memory, and she was talking to your boyfriend.
You didn’t know how to describe the feeling it evoked. It wasn’t jealousy—you knew what jealousy felt like, and this was too mellow and depressing to be jealousy. Yukyung looked gorgeous, as she always did, dressed in a pretty, flowy, red sundress that just barely brushed against the tops of her shoes. Her makeup was perfect and rosy to match the dress, and she’d braided white ribbon into her hair, which you thought made her look even more elegant than she had before.
Oh, you thought, biting your lip. This is inadequacy.
You watched them talk, and you watched the way she smiled and the way he seemed uncomfortable just from the way he stood. For a brief moment, you thought they even looked a bit good together, but that thought was quickly washed away when you felt ice cream drip onto your finger.
When you looked back up, she was gone, and Gunwook had gone back to lingering. You shook your head, jogging up to him with a smile. “Happy summer,” you said, handing it out to him. He smiled back at you, taking the ice cream cone from your hand.
“Thank you,” he said, taking a big bite straight from the top. You widened your eyes in shock and your face distorted into one of disgust.
“You bite ice cream?”
“And what about it? Do you have a problem with it?”
“Yeah, actually, I do. That’s weird and strange.”
“You know what else is weird and strange?”
“Huh?”
“The fact that you’re letting your ice cream melt all over your hand.”
vi. overwhelmed
You’re wondering how long you can get away with staying in the bathroom before someone notices that you’ve been gone for much longer than you were expecting. You hug your knees to your chest, playing a mindless game in hopes it’ll calm you down at least somewhat.
You knew this would happen at some point—every upperclassman you’d talked to told you that, in the months approaching your college entrance exams, your mental health would plummet. From panic attacks in the bathroom during math classes to not being able to fall asleep until four in the morning.
You just underestimated how much it sucked to feel like this in the first place. You’re no stranger to stress, that much is certain, but this was much more real. And, this sort of panic hit you anywhere and everywhere—including Gyuvin’s birthday party.
Briefly, you glanced at the time—8:02. You’d been in the bathroom for about 10 minutes, and nobody had come looking for you yet, which was good. The bad news was that you weren’t any closer to calming down and were feeling utterly helpless.
As if you’d jinxed yourself, Gunwook texted you at that very moment, asking where you’d gone. You half-assed your reply, saying you were still in the bathroom taking a break from the chaos, ignoring the temptation to ask him to come help you. It would be mean to Gyuvin and him—so, for the sake of your sanity, you’d stay quiet.
Meanwhile, Gunwook stood in one of Gyuvin’s hallways, staring at his phone. Junhyeon had followed him back as Gyuvin was well entertained by Ricky, who he hadn’t seen in nearly a year, and stood next to him, leaning against the wall.
“Things have been weird lately.” Gunwook frowned, reading over your text again and again. Junhyeon tilted his head inquisitively.
“Weird how?”
“Just…I don’t know, she’s been weirdly distant from time to time. Everything will be fine, and she’ll shut off with no warning. It happens no matter where we are, too—if we’re studying, if we’re walking home, if we’re eating dinner. It’s strange.”
“Could it just be test jitters? I know a lot of couples who broke up in anticipation of the test, with plans to get back together afterward. Like Yuna and Jaechan, in class 4. They did that.”
Gunwook’s frown deepend. “I don’t want to break up with her, though,” he sighed, watching as the typing bubble on your end appeared and disappeared. “Would it be weird to look for her? Like would she find that strange?”
“She probably walked off because she didn’t want to take you away from Gyuvin, but Ricky’s here now, so I don’t think it would be a bad idea, per se,” Junhyeon said, patting his shoulder. “But make sure she doesn’t feel bad taking you away from everything. I think Gyuvin would understand. And Ricky wants to meet her, so no harm in making sure nothing’s wrong.”
Gunwook bit the edge of his lip, shoving his phone into his pocket. Gunwook gave Junhyeon a pat on the shoulder, and he nodded, walking back toward the bulk of the party.
The bathroom was behind a bed sheet curtain that Gyuvin had hung up before the party, with a lame “do not enter” sign taped to it. He’d proceeded to give you, Gunwook, and Junhyeon special permission to break the rules, as the three of you had been in the house before and knew which rooms were okay to enter and which ones weren’t.
The door was closed and the light was on, which meant you’d gone out of your way to go to the off-limits bathroom, where Yeseo and Youngeun wouldn’t be able to find you. He frowned, raising his hand to knock on the door.
Then, he heard a small sniffle behind the door and stopped. Gunwook had never seen you cry—early into your relationship, you’d told him you weren’t a crier, and not many things pushed you to that point. At the time, it had been relieving, as he didn’t know you well enough to even attempt to comfort you.
But, now a good three months had passed, and he still had no clue what to do, which made him feel more stressed than relieved. Nevertheless, now that he knew, he couldn’t just leave you, so he knocked on the door.
Your response was, “You’ve got to be kidding me.” Gunwook took that as an invitation to open the door, finding you sitting on the floor of Gyuvin’s bathroom while holding your phone. You weren’t crying, but he could tell you were close to it. He slipped inside, closing the door behind him, and sitting next to you on the ground.
“What’s wrong?” he asked, scooting closer to you so you’d be shoulder-to-shoulder. You shrugged, looking off to the side.
“I’m stressed. You know, with the college entrance exams and graduating stuff, the world is just a lot right now. I didn’t think it would hit here, though, but the number 18 being passed around made me think about it too much. It’s silly.”
“No, it’s not,” Gunwook replied. “It’s okay to be stressed out about something stressful, even if you’re at a birthday party. And it’s okay to tell me because Gyuvin’s friend came to surprise him after he moved to California, so he’s not upset that I’m gone. Okay?”
Your lip quivered a bit, and Gunwook put his arm around you, pressing you into his side. He rubbed your shoulder reassuringly as you sniffled again, obviously having to try harder to keep your feelings in.
At that moment, you wanted to spew everything at him. Your feelings of insecurity towards Yukyung, the stress you felt knowing he was going to get into some fancy university and you probably weren’t, how scary everything was right at this moment.
But, you stayed quiet and chose to burst into tears instead. The moment one tear escaped from your eye, the rest did, too, and you found yourself crying into Gunwook’s chest. He was rocking you back and forth, rubbing your back while you covered his shirt in your tears.
You felt miserable—if you could, you wanted to pause time, run outside, and scream. At what, you were unsure, but you needed it, more than you needed anything else in the entire world. You could only take this for so much longer.
“I’m here for you,” Gunwook whispered, squeezing you gently. “I’ll always be here, I promise.”
You took his words to heart.
vii. wisdom teeth
On day four of Gunwook’s wisdom-teeth recovery, you’d been asked to be his caregiver, which you were okay with. His mom, who was infinitely grateful that you’d offered to take care of her son, assured you that he was technically cleared to go back to normal after day 3, but he was still feeling a bit wonky, and his pain medicine enhanced the wonkiness.
Your jobs were as such: make soup or mashed potatoes when he asked, remind him to clean his wounds if he forgets, and hang out with him. You found the list quite easy and told his mom that you’d make sure he was all good and cared for.
You underestimated, however, how needy your boyfriend would be. The moment you’d walked into his bedroom to wake him up, he attached himself to you, whining about how much he’d missed you over the past few days. He spoke as if you’d gone off to war and left him behind with your nonexistent children, insisting that your absence had ruined his life.
After you managed to make him brush his teeth, spray salt water into his mouth, and eat his breakfast (a bowl of yogurt), he passed out on the couch, leaving you to do whatever seemed appealing at the moment. Initially, you spent your time scrolling through all the selfies he’d sent you of his face all swollen and puffy, which had got you giggling. Then, you had the bright idea to help 
You started by slightly cleaning his room up, feeling pretty good about yourself as you washed his clothes and his sheets. In your mind, you were building a resume to ensure his mom liked you, and you were going to earn extra affection from it, so you didn’t care about the repetitiveness at all.
About halfway through your cleaning adventures, Gunwook appeared in the doorway of his bedroom, staring at you folding the load of laundry you did. “How are you?” you asked, continuing to fold his t-shirts.
“Have I ever told you that you’re perfect?” he mumbled, shuffling over and draping himself onto you. He wrapped his arms around your waist and shoved his face into your neck, nearly knocking you over by putting his entire weight on you without warning.
“Only every day,” you replied, giggling. “Seriously though, how are you? Anything feel off or more painful than it did before you napped?”
“No,” he said, pressing a quick kiss to your neck. “Stop sounding like my mom. It’s weird.”
“What do you want me to say? ‘I hope you get dry socket?’”
“It’s better than mom-speak,” he replied. “She’s going to love you after today. Not gonna shut up about it.”
“That’s the entire reason that I’m doing all of this.”
“And not to help out your hurting boyfriend? You’re terrible.”
You scoffed, finishing folding the rest of his clothes. “Are you hungry?”
You patted his arm and Gunwook unattached himself from you, letting you turn around to face him. He rubbed his eyes, shaking his head. “No. I’m so glad you’re here. I missed you a lot.”
“Did you?”
“My mom said I cried about you being at school right after I got out of surgery,” he replied. You widened your eyes, not expecting him to be that forward about it. “I don’t like being away from you for so long. I hope we never, ever separate.”
You smiled, half-heartedly punching him in the shoulder. “I hope you stay this nice even after you feel fully better.”
Gunwook gave you a serious look as if he was thinking hard about something. You waited awkwardly, staring at one another as he sounded out whatever he was thinking in his head. “Over the past few days, I’ve been thinking a lot about something.”
“Which is…?”
“I’m going to say something,” he said, putting his hands on your shoulders. “I’m not expecting a reply. I just need to say it. I’ve thought about it a lot.”
“Okay, go on ahead. I’m listening.”
He took a deep breath, closing his eyes as if whatever he was going to tell you was stressing him out. It made you get a bit anxious, wondering if he was going to break some terrible news to you. “Over the past couple of days, I’ve missed you a lot, more than I missed Gyuvin and Junhyeon combined. And it was hard only being able to talk to you through texting, even though I only text my friends for days on end sometimes. And it got me thinking about everything, you know? Because it’s all I’ve had to entertain myself since I got my teeth pulled.”
“Right.”
“I love you, [First]. A lot. And it’s okay if you’re not ready to say that yet, I get it. But I do. Truthfully. I’ve never felt this way about anyone.”
It felt like a rock was stuck in your throat. You opened your mouth expecting words to come out, but they didn’t—so, you just stood there, staring at Gunwook. He stared back at you, eyes glossy from tiredness and cheeks pink. You weren’t ready—the words were so big and so scary, and it wasn’t that you didn’t love him, you just couldn’t find the words to say it.
Your solution to this was to engulf him in a hug, latching to his waist like you’d done a second ago. No words were needed as he did the same, and, for a while, you stood there, enjoying one another’s company.
viii. mirrors
You don’t remember the last time you’ve felt this gross when looking into a mirror. The dress you’re wearing is gorgeous—it’s long, flowy, and summery, the type of dress that doesn’t look bad on anyone. Yet, staring at yourself right now, you feel utterly disgusting.
It’s the same type of dress you saw Yukyung wearing at the fair, and, when you look at yourself, all you can do is compare yourself to her. Even when you were best friends, this was a problem you had, but it wasn’t nearly as awful when she made you feel safe and loved. Now, it felt threatening and nauseating.
Gunwook knocked on the door of your dressing room, causing you to wince. “[First], are you done? Can I see?”
“Yeah, sure. One second.”
You quickly retied the bow around your waist, hoping it would make you feel a little less awful. It didn’t have the intended effect, but you turned around anyway, opening the door to the dressing room. Gunwook’s expression bloomed into a smile the moment he saw you, but, instead of feeling loved, you only remembered the way he looked at Yukyung with slight disdain at the fair while she wore the same thing.
“You look so beautiful,” he said, which caused you to subconsciously frown. He noticed immediately, his smile morphing into a frown to mirror you. “What’s wrong? Do you not like it?”
You turned around, staring at yourself in the mirror once more. “I don’t feel pretty in it,” you said, trying to be as upfront with your emotions as you could. You saw Gunwook’s jaw drop in his reflection in the mirror as if he couldn’t believe what you were hearing.
“How in the world could you not feel pretty? It fits you perfectly, and it’s entirely on theme for your cousin’s wedding. You look gorgeous, I swear. Everyone would agree with me.”
“Are you sure?” you asked, hoping and praying that, if he said it for a third time, the image of Yukyung in your mind would miraculously go away. He nodded earnestly, making the most serious look you’d ever seen him produce.
“One thousand percent. And I’m not just saying it because I’m your boyfriend, I mean it. You look beautiful, and every other synonym of beautiful. I’m serious.”
You nodded, fabricating a smile so you could take it off and put your sweater back on. “Okay, I’ll get it then. I’m sure my mom will agree.”
You shut the dressing room door, fighting the urge to slam your head into the mirror. You just pulled the dress off of you, replacing it with your normal clothes and putting it back on the hanger, swiftly exiting the room so you’d no longer be facing the mirror.
After that, you’d tried to escape the mall as quickly as you could, dragging Gunwook through the corridors like you were on a mission. He’d followed without saying anything, but you could tell he was somewhat confused—and you hoped that confusion would go away when you arrived at the bus stop just as it arrived.
Gunwook knew you better than that, though, shooting you multiple inquisitive looks for the duration of your bus ride. And, the moment you got off, he whistled a small tune, which was a clear sign that he was going to bring it up.
“So, what’s up?”
“What do you mean?” You feigned ignorance, hoping he’d get the message and leave it alone. He wouldn’t, though, and it was now a question of whether he meant today only, or why you’d been acting so strange over the past month or so.
“You’ve been acting weird for a while, [First]. Not all the time, just sometimes, and it has me worried. Did I do something? Or is there something you aren’t telling me?”
“I’m just on edge,” you lied, clearing your throat. “Exams are next month. I don’t like the idea that a single test could dictate the rest of my life, and the idea that, if I do poorly, I have to spend another year studying for it.”
“Are you sure that’s it? You seem fine every time we’re studying, and your grades are good. You don’t ask for nearly as much help as you did a few months ago either.”
“I promise. Things will go back to normal next month, I swear.”
“Okay.”
Great, you thought, kicking a rock on the sidewalk. He knew you were lying, and now you had one month to fix your ex-best-friend troubles before you had to face your issues. And, you had no idea how.
You kicked the rock again, and it flew out in the street, falling into a storm drain, never to be seen again.
ix. exams
Before today, you didn’t think your hands could hurt this bad. Nor did you think your brain could hurt this bad, either.
The moment you walked into Gunwook’s room, you drop everything you’re holding, face-planting into his bed. He laughed at you, and you could hear him neatly placing everything he was holding onto his desk.
“How can you unpack things right now?” you asked, mentally praising whoever created mattresses. “I feel like my brain is short-circuiting.”
“I’m good at school stuff, that’s why,” he replied. Outside, the rain that you’d dealt with walking to his house got worse, and you briefly considered the possibility that you wouldn’t be returning home tonight unless one of your parents were willing to drive to Gunwook’s house. “Do you want something else to wear? Other than your uniform.”
“Really?” you asked, hopping out of his bed. He nodded, opening his drawer and taking out a t-shirt and pair of sweatpants.
“They’ll probably be a little big,” he said, handing them to you. You waved him off, shaking your head.
“They’re not this god-awful uniform, so they’re winners in my book.”
You practically skipped out of his room and into the bathroom, changing into the pajamas he’d given you hastily. They were soft and smelled like the detergent his mom bought (which smelled exactly like you thought Gunwook would smell, back when you just had a delusional crush on him).
Before you went back to his room, you folded your uniform, giving yourself a once over in the mirror. You looked exhausted and you felt it too, overloaded from the hours of straight testing that you’d endured for the sole purpose of going to university. You were so tired you couldn’t even muster the strength to be worried about your test scores.
You shuffled back into Gunwook’s room, shutting the door behind you. He was already laying down, scrolling through his phone and wearing the black-and-white sweater he’d been so obsessed with recently. You put your uniform on top of your bag, which he’d moved to a chair in the corner of his room, before collapsing on top of him and forcing your hands around his waist.
The act caused him to laugh at you before ruffling your hair, kissing you atop the crown of your head. “I’m proud of you,” he said, and you felt his chest rumble as he talked. “I’m sure you did well.”
“Stop being sappy,” you replied, suddenly feeling a lot more tired than you had been. “But I’m proud of you too. I know you did well.”
He hummed, and you assumed he went back to scrolling through his phone, which you weren’t angry about. You had about five minutes before you fell asleep on him, and you were fine spending it in complete silence save for whatever random thought you had.
“Oh, did you see the Yuna-Jaechan reunion? It was, like, dramatic. He gave her some super expensive necklace or something.”
“I didn’t see it, but I heard about it. Junhyeon hasn’t shut up about it. He thinks it’s hilarious.”
“If we’d done the CSAT breakup, would you have bought me a super expensive necklace?”
“We wouldn’t have, but I would’ve bought you the most expensive necklace ever. With Gyuvin’s money.”
“Aw, how romantic.”
It went quiet again, and you felt yourself fading quickly. The rhythmic up-and-down of Gunwook’s chest paired with the rain pitter-pattering against the window was putting you to sleep with ease, to the point where you could barely keep your eyes open.
And then a bright flash and near-immediate thunder awoke you instantly, causing you to flinch hard. Gunwook laughed at you instantly, causing you to feel embarrassed.
“Oh, is someone afraid of thunder?”
“No,” you huffed, closing your eyes again. “I just wasn’t expecting it.”
“Okay, whatever you say. But that jump was pretty intense. I almost thought you were convulsing, was scared that the test had killed you.”
“Fuck you.”
“Good night, [First]. Sleep well.”
Now aware that you were enduring a thunderstorm, the booming noise that came with the rain only added to your sleepiness. Within minutes, you were almost completely asleep, barely able to register when Gunwook laughed at something on his phone or shifted slightly.
“I love you,” he whispered, putting a single hand on your waist. With that, you were asleep and entirely dead to the world for the next few hours.
x. gossip
You didn’t like the way Youngeun was looking at you. She couldn’t keep secrets—it was obvious she knew something, but you couldn’t figure out what exactly she could know.
Yeseo, on the other hand, seemed completely fine, even if Youngeun kept giving her worried glances. She simply drank her juice, mixing her noodles around with seemingly no intent to actually eat them. It was silent at your table, the sun beating down on you as you sat outside the 7/11 you’d all agreed to go to after school that day.
“What is up with you two?” you finally asked, frustrated with whatever was happening. Youngeun winced and Yeseo put her drink down, balancing her chopsticks on top of her bowl of ramen. It was silent for a few moments, and you felt anxiety eating you up.
“There’s a rumor going around,” Youngeun blurted out, causing you to tilt your head. Yeseo crossed her arms, leaning back in her chair.
“It’s not a big rumor. It’s small and contained, and it shouldn’t get much bigger, but we don’t want you to hear it from someone random, or to overhear it when you don’t mean to. We don’t think it’s true, but you deserve to know.”
“Okay, just tell me. I don’t need this huge build-up.”
“There’s a small group, and I mean small group, that think Yukyung and Gunwook are dating behind your back.”
You went quiet, feeling your heart drop into your stomach. Realistically, you knew it wasn’t true—from the way Gunwook talked to you to the way he looked at you, there was no possible way that this was true. The part of you that was borderline traumatized by her sudden switch up on you believed it in an instant, though.
“Do they have any proof?”
“Apparently, they see her talking to him a lot. I mean, she doesn’t hang out in your classroom often, ‘cause her new friends are in mine and Gunwook’s class. And, to be fair, they aren’t wrong, she does talk to him a lot, but he doesn’t like it. It wouldn’t shock me if she’s trying to get him to break up with you, but they’re not dating,” Youngeun said, suddenly sounding a lot angrier than she did before. “I’ve seen him shoot her down several times. But people take it the wrong way, I guess.”
“Long story short, don’t believe it, [First]. We both know it’s not true and if you start hearing it from other people, ignore it. Okay?”
Like the world was playing an awful, cruel joke on you, your phone started ringing, and one look confirmed your suspicions. You picked up, hearing Gunwook’s voice come through, clear as day. “Do you want to see a movie tomorrow?” he asked, skipping over the greeting. Intrusively, you thought, would he go with her, too? “I’ll pay. It’s a showing of a Ghibli movie that Yujin said was good.”
“Sure,” you said, feeling Youngeun’s and Yeseo’s eyes burning through you, as if to say don’t you dare overreact about this. “What time?”
You were going to overreact about it anyway, though. You couldn’t do this, at least not with Yukyung—or, at least the thought of her—breathing over your shoulder at every moment. She meant too much to you that your mind was racing through every single thought you’d had over the past few months.
She was your best friend, and you’re pretty sure that, before Gunwook came into the picture, you were in love with her. You spent hours upon hours with her, and now you spend hours looking through the old pictures that you refuse to delete. You’re stuck on her—not in love with her anymore, but yearning for a friendship you lost—and it’s getting in the way of your relationship, and your mind concludes that there’s one viable outcome.
And, now, you have an excuse to carry it out.
xi. her
You don’t have the time to knock on Gunwook’s door before he throws it open. He hugs you immediately, picking you up and spinning you around right there in his doorway, and, for a minute, your mind is clear of all the terrible things that you’ve been trapped with for the past month.
“We did it,” he cried out, putting you back down so he could see your face. “We did it! Oh my god, how could we not have done it? We were always going to get in.”
About twenty minutes ago, both you and Gunwook received an email from Seoul National University that you’d gotten in. After you’d cried for four hours over your good CSAT scores, you nearly passed out at this news, wondering in what world you had deserved this. And, among your caving-in mind over Gunwook and Yukyung, you’d immediately left your house and ran to Gunwook’s.
He cupped your face in his hands, planting a kiss on your lips in utter joy. You laughed, feeling immensely happy for the both of you.
You tripped over your feet as you walked into his house, kicking off your shoes and emerging into his living room. “I never thought this would happen,” you said, pacing around the room. Gunwook watched you from behind the couch, smiling. “I mean, for the last month, I’ve just—I haven’t caught a break. I’ve been miserable every waking moment and now I finally have something to be happy over. Can you believe that?”
You look at him, and you watch his smile drop. You backpedal over what you said, realizing that you’d let your little secret slip; since Youngeun and Yeseo had told you about the rumor, you’d done an excellent job at hiding your panic, acting like everything was fine when it wasn’t in the slightest.
“What do you mean you’ve been miserable?”
You stopped pacing, and the room went quiet. In an instant, you’d knocked the happiness out of the room and brought in everything you’d been avoiding. The breakup plan you’d thought of night after night flashed in your mind, along with Yeseo telling you that you were an idiot for even considering it.
“I don’t know where this came from,” he continued, his voice a bit tight. “But I was under the impression everything was okay. We took the test and you looked better—why wouldn’t you tell me you were miserable?”
You weren’t sure what to say. Your heart was beating out of your chest and you felt nauseated, no longer feeling the excitement of the college acceptance you’d yearned for since you were a kid. “It’s stupid,” you said, your voice small. “It doesn’t matter. I’ll get over it.”
“I don’t know if you understand how that sounds to me,” he said, and you were getting the idea that he also had an issue that he hadn’t been talking about, either. “But we’ve spent a lot of time together over the last month, and you saying that you’ve been miserable the entire time sounds a lot like you saying you were miserable being with me.”
“What? No, that’s not what I meant.” You shook your head, feeling mortified at the idea. “I promise, that’s not it. It has nothing to do with you.”
“Then why won't you tell me? I don’t think I’m entitled to hear anything from you that you don’t want to talk about, but when it’s been torturing you for months, [First], I feel like I deserve to know. Especially since it seems like Youngeun and Yeseo haven’t gotten any of the side effects.”
You bit your lip, closing your eyes. “You know Yukyung was my best friend, right?” Even saying it aloud made tears bunch into your eyes. For the first time since nearly a year ago, now, you were facing something you hadn’t even talked about with your mom. “Like, best friend. We’ve been—we were friends from our first year of middle school. She was my everything. And she threw it all away over—over you, and it’s been hard for me to stomach it.”
Gunwook rolled up his sleeves, leaning on the couch. “That happened in March,” he said, almost sounding frustrated. You knew it wasn’t directed at you, rather, he was probably angry that Yukyung had any say in your relationship even though you’d never even spoken about her.
“It killed me, Gunwook. I didn’t sleep well for a week. I mean, she was telling people things I told her in middle school, running around and painting a picture of me that I didn’t know she had.” You felt exasperated, unsure of how to convey what you needed to without sharing a secret you’d never shared with anyone. “It was hard for me. Even though I was happy about us, I couldn’t get over losing her like that with no warning. And then, I saw her talking to you at the fair, and then Yeseo and Youngeun told me about the rumors, and—”
“Rumors?” he interjected, furrowing his eyebrows. “What rumors?”
“People think you’re cheating on me,” you replied, crossing your arms over your chest. That seemed to confuse Gunwook, as he looked down, staring at the couch rather than looking at you. “It’s just hard, okay? It’s hard.”
“And you couldn’t have told me you felt like this? It didn’t cross your mind, even for a second, to just be honest?”
“Well why didn’t you tell me that she’s been talking to you at every chance she gets?” you rebutted. That caused him to wince, and you watched him realize that he couldn’t say much, either. “It’s not like we’re both innocent, here. So let’s get it over with. Now.”
“I’ve been thinking about this for a while,” Gunwook said, pushing off the couch and mirroring your stance. “Gyuvin brought it up during our second year before we knew each other. It didn’t cross my mind again until I saw you staring at her when I came in to give you your calculator back. And then—it’s been months and you haven’t said you loved me.”
Every muscle in your body tensed, and it, once again, occurred to you that you could never pull anything over on Gunwook.
“Are you in love with her?”
You gulped, your throat suddenly feeling drier than it ever had. “I was. A long time ago.”
It went silent again, and you wondered if he believed you. “I promise you it’s in the past. It was only during my first year and some of my second, but I got over it when she started dating Seungeon. And they lasted long enough for me to get over it, and we added Youngeun to the mix, so I was preoccupied. That’s in the past. But it doesn’t change that she threw out five years of our friendship without a second thought.”
He didn’t say anything for a couple of minutes, beginning to pace back and forth. You let him think, hoping that your defense was sound enough that he wouldn’t break things off then and there.
“Do you love me, [First]?”
Two months ago, Yeseo had asked if you’d said “I love you” yet. You’d, embarrassingly, had to share that Gunwook had but you hadn’t, which perplexed both of them. And, when they asked why, all you’d been able to tell them was that the last person you’d said “I love you” to was Yukyung, the night before Youngeun called you, telling you everything she’d heard.
“Yes,” you said, nodding. “I do. I love you.”
Right in front of you, Gunwook burst into tears, walking straight past the couch and enveloping you in his arms. “I thought you were going to break up with me for so long,” he choked out, squeezing you so hard you could barely breathe. “I was terrified the entire time, and I thought things got better after the exams, but I couldn’t shake the feeling. I was so scared, [First]. I love you so much that I don’t know what I’d do if I lost you.”
“I love you too,” you said, although it was muffled. “I promise. And I didn’t love her as much as I love you.”
xii. graduation
You were realizing that your claim that you didn’t cry often was quickly becoming a lie. You were sitting on the floor of your room, holding your diploma to your chest while tears streamed from your eyes. Gunwook was staring at you with a mixture of amusement and worry as you rocked yourself back and forth.
“Youngeun is leaving me,” you said, hiccuping. “Both of them are. For Japan. I’m going to have to make new friends.”
“But you’ll still be able to talk? They won’t even be in a different timezone.”
“Okay, and?” you said, hiccuping. “It’s so far. I won’t be able to go to 7/11 with them anymore.”
“We can go to 7/11?”
“That’s different, you’re my boyfriend. 7/11 is a commitment when it’s with you.”
“What does that even mean?”
You let out another Earth-shattering sob, and you supposed that convinced Gunwook to come over and attempt to comfort you. “There, there,” he said sarcastically. “Japan is very far. And you’ll have to pay more to call them. I’m sorry.”
“At least try to sound a little serious!”
“Neither Junhyeon nor Gyuvin got into SNU.”
“Okay, but they’re still in Korea, so you’ll be fine. There’s no train to Tokyo here.”
Gunwook wrapped his arm around your shoulder, leaning his head on yours. “It’ll be okay. They’ll be here over breaks and you’ll get to see them then, right? And you always have the—wait, why don’t you have a picture of us framed?”
“Are you kidding me?”
“No, I’m serious,” he said, pointing to your dresser, which was right in front of you. On top were multiple framed pictures of the three of you, smiling, laughing, and doing other things. “What’s up with that? Am I less important than them?”
“Shut up.”
“No. I’m going to buy a disposable camera right now, and we’re going to take pictures so you can print and frame them.”
You rolled your eyes, wiping away your tears. “Okay. Whatever you say. Even though you’re my wallpaper, and you’re the only number pinned in my text messages, and you’re the only person who’s ever known the password to my phone.”
“You love me.”
“Not when you’re a greedy loser.”
“Aw, I love you, too.”
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thank you for reading !
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Kinda sick of the racism from nonblacks (i say nonblacks because it ain't just the whites tho it's mainly them!) in the spiderverse fandom because why does black ppl centering themselves in fiction (you know cuz we never can have ANYTHING) bother them so much??
"Hobie would choose a white girl over you" "why does miles have to be with someone black" "why does he always have to have a black reader" like Ummmm DO Y'ALL NOT HEAR HOW DUMB AND IGNORANT YOU SOUND?
We gotta gatekeep the black characters in this fandom until ppl know how to act right and stop getting besides themselves
PREACH!!!!!! CAUSE LIKE -- People out here are really disturbed that they *checks notes* were reminded black people exist? black people being found specifically attractive in a way whiteness is CONSTANTLY.
Anti-Blackness, Hobie, & The Black!Reader -
[A SHORT rant about people who have an issue with Black!Readers]
I ALWAYS find it where when people beef with Black people who want to date other Black people.
Because it's 100% racism.
If you think that a Black person dating only Black people is wrong - Anti-blackness is probably the root.
Just kidding it is the root its literally the only solution and explanation hehehe
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Because as a trans person - when someone says they're T4T, everyone is fine with that.
Cis people can understand that they will never understand the trans experience, and that trans people may be attracted and want relationships with people who can understand on a personal level.
But when a Black Person say they're 'Black4Black' suddenly that's wrong?? We can't do that??
It's like non-whites cannot grasp that anti-black racism is a very VERY specific experience that we deal with all our lives and we may want partners that can not only support us but relate too. Partners we don't have to explain race shit too.
No- blackness is an experience that HAS to be available to them. Black people's experiences, minds and bodies HAVE to be available for there consumption or we're in the wrong.
We are either there to be consumed (like Hobie is) or ignored (like the Black!Reader is).
All my life I've seen the default OC and default reader be a white person. Readers that don't speak AAVE, that show no attempt at culture outside the 'normal' heteronormative American family.
And suddenly we try to change that for ourselves and that's not cool.
Also - people who say that about Hobie are just outright uneducated.
Hobie is from 1978.
Racial Discrimination in the UK was outlawed in 1965. Regardless of whether you think he's 16 or 19 - Hobie Brown grew up under racial segregation from ages 3-6.
He grew up seeing it - experiencing racism. Living with and being raised by and surrounded by a community of older black people who lived under segregation.
And even after the bill - Racist attitudes would still be surrounding him realistically speaking.
HE'S NOT FROM NOW.
Acting like Hobie has no opinions on that, or experiences, or coping mechanisms or TRAUMA from that - is fucked up.
That's black trauma LOOK AT IT.
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So YEAH, A guy who grew up under segregation and a police state would have trauma from it.
But they (racists) wanna sidestep that.
They'll talk all day about Hobie's police related trauma - but not the race thing......okay. Okay, no it's fine. I'm fine.
The idea that Hobie might have unsavory experiences with race makes them uncomfortable. The idea that Hobie would seek out Black Spaces to GET AWAY from white people - makes them foam at the mouth.
Not all white people are racist - but a white person can never understand anti-black racism from a personal view the way Hobie or I or you do.
That's just a fact.
But the idea that there's a special outlet we alone understand about Hobie, and connect with him through, they dislike that.
Anti-Blackness. It's everywhere.
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YOINK!! I'M TAKING HOBIE BACK TO THE ANCESTORS. LETS GO.
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reasonsforhope · 4 months
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Upcoming Blog Thing
So I'm currently in the process of making a sideblog-for-a-sideblog for Reasons for Hope.
The idea is to use it to post mostly links/info on direct action (how to's, petitions, official government calls for comment on proposed policies, protests, info about cool things other activists are doing, etc. etc.) that doesn't fit on a good news blog. Plus informational/awareness posts, and my own activism and thoughts and takes about things that sometimes really, really do not belong on a good news blog. Or that half belong on a good news blog and half really don't, and the like.
The idea is also to create an official "format" for submissions so that people can send in posts without me having to take the time/spoons to make new posts out of ppl's asks and dms (this takes sooo much time sometimes). Then, if successful, do a similar thing for submissions on Reasons for Hope, bc I do want to make posts about lots of things ppl send me, but it would be way too much to do myself all the time.
I'd still be verifying everything and applying editorial standards, in both cases. I actually already wrote up most of an editorial standards policy for the new sideblog, too. It would include verifying and listing the sources and dates for everything, at a minimum.
I've been thinking about going ahead and doing this for quite a while now, but I finally decided I needed to go for it because uh. I just found out about something absolutely, completely fucked up that happened to my grandparents (and a lot of other people). And while I am planning to get involved in organizing about it in real life around the relevant issues (or at least flyer the shit out of relevant neighborhoods), I really need to be able to use what platform I have to talk about this - along with other issues - so I have somewhere to channel my rage and grief into activism
(You will hear more about what happened when the sideblog goes up, if you want to see know. For now, let's just say that it's been a really intense 48 hours.)
Also you know I actually have a small-to-moderate platform here and that's a hell of a lot more ability to reach people than I tend to have in person, esp with ~life~ and ~working~ and my disability shit
So yeah, heads up you have that to look forward to (if you want to engage). And there will be unique tags to filter for people who want to see the links to actions and organizing info without seeing the info about fucked up stuff.
Because I am firmly of the opinion that people can and should be able to engage with that kind of content only where and when they feel up for it, if they want, and especially if they're really struggling with spiraling over the state of things.
Anyway, let me know in the notes if there's anything you would particularly like to see from the upcoming sideblog. (I make no promises but would value information on this!) And if you have any thoughts on what I should call it because I haven't been able to figure out something satisfying yet.
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Hi, it's me again, and i bring another small debate about the kids.
In the group, who do you think is more prone to jealousy and possessiveness? because i've recently come to known there's a difference between those two terms (i legit had no idea, sorry)
I guess Hyunjin doesn't jealous in any way, since he's so confident on himself. He'll maybe want to "mark his territory", but wouldn't ever feel threatened by anyone.
With Chris it's confusing, because he fits both for me. He gives off the vibes that he'll put you an invisible collar to mark you as propietry but he'll also growl at anyone that looks at you (god i'm really describing him as an alpha wolf thing, forgive the cringe)
i'll love to hear your opinions about it
Hey @lyramundana
Yeah, there is a difference once you really learn how to look for it.
Don't worry about not knowing, it is tricky to understand at first.
This is MY take so don't take it as gospel.
Possessiveness:
Is the feeling of ownership over someone and the feeling of being top priority.
'I should be the first person you talk too because no one can take care of you like how I can'.
Jealousy:
Is the fear of insecurity around being replaced by someone more superior to you.
'You can't talk to other people because you can't be happy with anyone but me'.
They're both toxic examples but you get it 🤷‍♀️
Possessive Vs Jealous:
Possessive:
Bang Chan
Lee Know
Changbin
Seungmin
Jealous:
Han
Felix
Hyunjin
Jeongin
So let's talk about Bang Chan and Hyunjin:
Yes, Bang Chan and Hyunjin are both possessive and jealous but on different ends of the spectrum.
Bang Chan is more possessive than jealous because his 'Alpha' energy means he genuinely believes a lot of the time that no one can look after you like he can.
There's clear evidence of this when Chan got really emotional in one of his ending-ments in SK where he said:
'You mean the world to me. I'm gonna protect each and everyone one of you, all the members staffs, fans, I'm going to protect you all. No one is going to touch them'
(The translation is rough but you get what I mean).
Now, let's be realistic here.
It is IMPOSSIBLE for Chan to protect every Stay because there's too many of us, he can't physically do it.
BUT!
That's not going to stop him from trying, so if he's like this with Stays...can you imagine what he'd be like with his partner?
And this just further reinforces my view on him having a caregiver complex.
Hyunjin is more the 'jealous' type because he's more concerned about being seen as inferior in your eyes rather than actually 'being' with you per-say.
It's like, he wants to be the best in your eyes but it doesn't matter whether he 'owns' you, he just wants to be seen as the top option.
This is seen in his song 'Ice Cream':
I delude myself into thinking that someone's who cold to everyone is only warm to me'.
He wants to feel special and prioritised and if he doesn't... jealousy ensues.
But I would say Jeongin is probably the most jealous member out of all of them.
Have you seen his reaction when ppl ask about his brother?
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im-a-goddamn-cat · 10 days
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I found your post "sorry (not) sorry" where you talk about asexuality and aces who say they love sex etc.
That post ended up on my "for you" and I'm glad it did. I wrote a reply in that post but I was typing too quickly and it was a mess. So I deleted it and decided to write a message instead.
I have to say that I agree with your post 100% and it's quite sad that your opinion is "problematic" in ace community.
Can aces have sex? Yes. Some say they do it solely to please their partners, which sounds very RAPEY. It's interesting how little we hear about the allosexual individuals, who might masturbate instead of having sex with their asexual partners.
Nowadays, it seems like everyone is obsessed with labels and twisting words to fit their own narrative. I'm not against labels, just use labels that fit you. A lot of times I feel like allos just use asexual label so they can preach how they love sex & they can show aces that they can love sex too like every other "normal" person.
Sometimes when I see someone talking how they never want sex or that they are sex repulsed there always have to be some "ace" that screams BUT DON'T FORGET ACES LOVE SEX TOO! WE LOVE KINK! WE LOVE FUCKING!!!
It feels like you're being erased, but erased by someone who's not even asexual.
I come to ace tags a lot, because I would like to follow some people, (also I come to the tags a lot so I can block bots that started spamming the tags) but it's always the same story. I see people who say they are ace but they also say things that show me that they are pretty much allos. It's sad because these people made me avoid ace spaces... because it really feels like 60% of them are allos who just use ace label. 30% are aces who don't want to be rude and they're like "all are welcome, all can use ace label!!! No one can tell you that you're not ace" and then 10% people just don't say a word because they don't want drama.
This is why people won't take us seriously because a lot of people who don't know much about asexuality hear just "I'm ace but I still love and enjoy sex!. And this is why some people think being celibate and being asexual is the same thing.
Sorry for a long message & my rant but it's RARE that someone who's ace actually say things you said in that post out loud... and it's refreshing to see that.
I don't really know how much we have in common but I will follow you just so I can read more of your ace posts in the future. Because I really need that.
thank you so much for sending this message, i'm really glad that my post resonated with you. and i agree with everything you said. it's awful that the asexual label/community has been overtaken by this narrative that aces can have sex even tho it's just false. it's actually pretty scary bc, like you said, it sounds so rapey. you rarely hear ppl adovacting for allos to have sex just to please their partner or for allos to have sex with ppl they aren't attracted to bc everyone recognizes how disgusting that is, but for some reason, ppl think it's normal and okay to do this to ace ppl.
i hate being one of those ppl who tries to tell others what their identity is but i truly do feel like ppl who claim that their ace but still want/enjoy sex aren't actually ace, they're allosexual who decided to call themself ace for some reason. asexual ppl do not experience sexual attraction so they would not be seeking out sex with ppl nor would they enjoy it. if someone claims they enjoy sex despite being ace, i feel like there's a good chance that they're not actually ace.
i've also seen the argument that "asexuality is a spectrum" for why aces can have sex but i'm gonna be honest, it seems more like it's allosexuality that is the spectrum; there's only one way to not experience sexual attraction (asexual) but there's many different ways to experience sexual attraction and there's nothing wrong with that but it doesn't mean you're asexual. if you experience sexual attraction, you're not asexual.
i've also seen ppl get harassed for saying that they're asexual which means they don't want to have sex and/or dislike sexual content and i've experienced that myself. i've made posts just talking about my own sexuality and have had multiple ppl who jumped in to try "correcting" me by telling me that aces can have sex, which again is false, and it just shows how creepy this attitude is bc why do ppl always feel the need to try forcing this mindset onto any actual asexual person they come across? it really feels like ppl are just trying to pressure ace ppl into forcing themselves to conform to allosexual society's standards.
anyways, i think you hit the nail right on the head, you're so right about everything. it seems that even the ace community has been overtaken by a compulsory sexuality and rape culture mindset and it's so sad. this is supposed to be a community for ppl to celebrate and bond over their identity and yet you have so many ppl either trying to coerce asexual ppl into having sex and/or ppl who aren't even asexual who are claiming the label and twisting it for their own weird narrative.
thank you so much again. 💕 ik it sucks and it makes me sad and angry that ppl do this awful stuff too but always remember that there is nothing wrong with who we are and that we should try to stay positive and fight against ppl's acephobia as much as possible. 💕
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herestomyhaters · 8 months
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right so i just finished everything now on netflix and i really wanted to share my unfiltered opinions on it and see what other ppl thought as well. here it goes!!
- i think my favorite characters were carli, becca and alex
- carly made for an impeccable love interest tbh
- icl i didn't love the main character as much as i thought i would, idk if that was the writing but sometimes i felt like they were trying too hard to make her relatable? it felt a bit forced
- also she was extremely selfish and though i understood why it still got jarring 😭
- i loved how they gave alex an episode !!! it was so moving to see things from his pov, 100% necessary
- god knows they weren't meant to be together but alison deserved way better tbh
- as for couples i was fond of becca/cam and will/theo. i also rly liked will's lil storyline at the end. as someone who's been the "funny friend" i could definitely relate
- carli and mia's chemistry was insane and if the show does get renewed i'm curious to see how things will be for them in the future. for now it's clear that carli's been portrayed/seen as more of a fantasy so it'd be nice to actually get to know more about her like really
- also i wish we'd seen more of carli and will doing theater kid stuff
- one thing i really loved abt the show was the wardrobe !!! especially becca's like i need all her clothes immediately
- i know euphoria was basically a cultural reset in media so it's inevitably rubbed off on other shows but sometimes it did seem like they were trying to replicate it a bit too much, esp the cinematography/music. it felt unoriginal
- which is a shame cause i think that distracted me at times (joined w the whole awkward/quirky mc). still, this is a very important story and i'm glad they told it
we all know netflix so i don't know if we're gonna be able to see these characters again but i look forward to seeing how the show levels up if we do. i think it has great potential. i wanna hear what u thought as well so share it below if u feel like it !!! <3
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gold-rhine · 1 year
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please share correct opinions on alhaitham and kaveh👀
genshin leaks tw i guess. they are both right and they are both wrong actually. like fans will be like omg this ship is canon bc their quest name is "Pride and Prejudice" and then literally not look at what that reference means, as if P&P entire thesis wasn't on how two leads both have to get over their flawed perception of each other and grow personally after admitting their own shortcomings
the whole throughline of them being narrative foils and mirrors for each is like. yes, alhaitham was right about kaveh martyring himself for selfish reasons, and kaveh was so appalled to hear that bc he wants ppl to think he's perfect. which like yeah, was his trauma response mechanism, but no, it doesn't mean it's healthy and shouldn't be challenged. being close with someone doesn't mean they don't see your flaws and think you're perfect, it means they DO see your flaws and love you in spite of them. yes, kaveh has high ideals of combining beauty and practicality and of everyone participating in creation, no, it doesn't mean that him carrying other ppl or people-pleasing at any opportunity is good way to reach his ideals, it obviously doesn't work like that. yes, kaveh is lonely, but he 100% put himself into this position, he has ppl who would be willing to support him, he hangs out with cyno, tighnari, brags about having friends and fans, he's literally akademiya celebrity, he could reach out and ask for help at any moment, but that would ruin his facade of perfect success, so he doesn't. literally he opened up about his problems one time and alhaitham immediately took him in despite their broken friendship. the only reason he doesn't actually own the part of this same house is because he refused out of pride, he obviously wants to feel superior to alhaitham, and he used his social standing and popularity as proof, which is why he's so shocked and dismissive of the idea that alhaitham can have friends or do smth heroic, and now the only way he has left to feel superior is to insist he's better bc he's empathetic, while alhaitham is not, so kaveh keeps falling for every scam despite being a genius. bc he sees this as him being good and that's the last refuge of his ego. tldr great ideals, clown execution
but alhaitham is also performing clown behavior. he's not ambitious like kaveh, yes, but his flaw of pride is in pretending that if he's right he can sound like an asshole. bro has "language is the ultimate tool and weapon" all over his stories, he knows that how you word things fucking matter and he knew that kaveh is fragile about his ego and emotions, yet he didn't try to talk to kaveh on the terms he could accept and help him reach the conclusion, but bluntly poked him into the weakest spot instead. and yes, alhaitham has feelings and they were obv hurt and he's still obv highkey cares and lowkey bitter at kaveh at the same time. fellas, is it rational to meet your worstie drunk and miserable in a tavern, learn he's bankrupt, and immediately take him home as a roommate. and like explain that you don't care about him, but you did it to have another genius through whose presence you can perfect your vision of the world. and then every time you talk you tell said genius that he's devolving into a fungus and shit like that. which is how perfecting a world vision works obviously. yeah sounds very logic, very rational, very objective, and no confused feelings to me.
no, their fight is not bc they have incompatible ideals and can never understand each other. they can understand each other very well, they can't get over their egos. kaveh spent years wanting to take back his words to his father and vowing to never hurt anyone again, yet he refuses to see realize what he said years ago hurt his best friend and he doesn't take it back despite them literally living in the same house and having that opportunity every day. he accuses alhaitham of being an egoist, yet he his own ego makes him pretend to have perfect life and have no problems instead of opening up to ppl. alhaitham accuses kaveh of being irrational and in denial about his true motivations, yet is in denial about his own motivations for becoming roommates, instead facetiously framing it like it was strictly for his own purely academic goals. they are mirrors, but they refuse to actually look at each other.
if hoyo has an ounce of sense, this is obv a setup for character arcs of them growing and getting over their pride and prejudices to be able to work together and combine alhaitham's strategic thinking with kaveh's groundbreaking designs.
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softhaus · 4 months
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I just saw a tiktok about women who are only attracted to mascs and like...... Its really kinda frustrating me and I can't tell if I'm just reading way too far into it and seeing things that aren't there. I don't think the person has the intention to offend which is why I'm giving them the benefit of the doubt that I'm the stupid sensitive one but I don't know.....
Like to paraphrase the tiktok is about this person who is saying that they think some wlw (they specifically said wlw) aren't actually into women they just want men. The reasoning for this outcome they came to was because of their personal experience of when they presented more masc in the dating scene. They stated girls would get the ick from them displaying any sort of girlyness after thinking they were masc. They also said "how can u say u like girls when u don't like the girly side of girls..."
And if I'm being forreal like I get the irritation especially if u don't identify as butch and ur just in general androgynous or masc in appearance and then being held to an expectation that ur butch (or even stone butch) and I get that it's upsetting when someone changes their mind about you once you get more comfortable with showing yourself past first impressions but like...... They have the right to not be attracted to what they aren't attracted to 😭 it doesn't suddenly mean they aren't wlw and idk the whole argument of like u like girls therefore u have to like the gender norm traits/appearances that are expected of girls to actually truly be wlw..... It feels somewhat gender essentialist in a strange queer way??? I can't explain it but like this is why "my gender is lesbian and I'm attracted to other lesbians who's gender is lesbian" makes sense to me cause it doesn't define us into boxes of "girl" and whether there is an expectation that "girl" is girly.... I really can't explain it but I hope this makes sense.
Another lowkey thing is I can't tell what they mean by girly cause that's so broad like do u mean u wore dresses and presented more feminine or did you have a trait that those girls associated with a gender? Like be more specific because those are two different scenarios imo (example like sewing or gardening or being soft spoken is not a girly trait/hobby it's a thing that shouldn't be gendered and if someone breaks up with u over a trait/hobby/interest they deem as girly and not masc then that's their own issue but if they're attracted to butches and then you show up in makeup and a dress they probably aren't gonna be into you and like that's okay?? It doesn't suddenly make them not wlw)
Idk just a strange tiktok all around and the comments are just full of what you would expect
This part is also just 100% speculation and assumpative but I feel like they wanted to say lesbian but changed it to wlw cause it's more broad and way less offensive to say "some women just want men with pretty faces" then to say that some lesbians want men. Idk.... It's just when u say wlw know that that's including femme4butch femmes and they're exactly the ppl u are criticizing here and exactly the ppl you are claiming to "actually want men"
Makes me feel like they'd claim I wasn't a lesbian if I told them I liked when dykes have facial stubble :/ something that I personally don't see as gendered but a lot of ppl do
I'm definitely open to hearing other opinions on this!! like maybe I'm being too sensitive about it
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Hi it’s the SU anon here I’m very sorry for how much I upset you, and I seriously wanted to piece tgt what I’m missing from the Jewish viewpoint so I appreciate u still being open to talking to me despite the ignorance. Also disclaimer I’m born and raised in Malaysia so I’ve not met an actual Jew in person until very recently in uni, so all I know is from the messy pile on the internet and I do genuinely learn from ur posts when I see them.
From what I see on ur blog u do show quite a lot of sympathy to the all the cruelty happening in Gaza, but don’t tolerate this being used as an excuse to target Israel/Jewish ppl. I do understand that the whole concept of pushing for an Israel/jewish ethnostate is very much entwined with the history of Jewish culture and the antisemitism endured through different times, so I think this is the part where I made the most ignorant statement on? After rereading what I wrote it might also have sounded like all Jews hold extremely reactionary views towards the word “ceasefire”? Pls do point out more of what upset u, I take full responsibility for what I said and pls stop this convo at any point if I end up offending u more.
Recognizing that you don't know something is the first step towards fixing it. It's good that you thought on your previous ask and tried to research it! But you're missing an awful lot so let's start from the top.
(As a reminder and so others can seee, here's the original ask)
"Hi, this a question abt ur opinion on what’s happening in Gaza just bc you’re one of my favourite blogs that goes deep into Jewish culture/issues. If at any point this question becomes annoying pls ignore.
Anyways so in my college SU meeting recently someone sent in a motion to make an official statement to condemn the war and call for immediate and permanent ceasefire + provide more support to the Jewish and Muslim/Arab students affected by increased hate in the community as well. This sparked a debate among those in attendance and of course there’s a few very pro-Israel voices that insists that a ceasefire will cause Israel to lose all ability to defend itself as well as many pro-Palestine arguments. The motion ended up discarded bc of procedural reasons but as someone who has mostly held a free Palestine view so far and has been hoping for a more inclusive Israel in the future, I don’t understand why stopping a war hurting both sides is taken as an Israel must disappear take by many. I always just accepted it as it’s probably got a lot more antisemitic undertone when it’s a Jew that hears it, but I really wanna hear ur take as well bc the debate I witnessed brought up very disturbing points that I can’t stop thinking about. Hope this didn’t end up sounding disrespectful and thanks for always sharing important Jewish viewpoints without undermining other social issues!"
First problem comes right with the opening sentence; "Hi, this a question abt ur opinion on what’s happening in Gaza just bc you’re one of my favourite blogs that goes deep into Jewish culture/issues."
Going to random Jews who do not post about the conflict and asking for their "stance" on it is part of a series of antisemitic loyalty tests and is extremely rude on top of it. Furthermore, speaking on Jewish cultures and issues and antisemitism is not the same as being experienced or knowledgeable on international conflicts.
And then your next paragraphs are of course riddled with anti-Israeli biases and examples that you've been listening to/reading propaganda uncritically, such as "wanting a more inclusive Israel" and in your more recent ask saying things like "I do understand that the whole concept of pushing for an Israel/jewish ethnostate is very much entwined with the history of Jewish culture and the antisemitism endured through different times". So you clearly have a basic lack of knowledge about both Israel and the conflict in general along with Zionism itself.
But, again, that's not an area I talk about much. If any of the folks who do talk about it, see this and want to go into it, please do! Just to repeat here, you shouldn't have been asking me in the first place.
Then, this part here, showed me that you have a history of dismissing antisemitism as Jews being overly sensitive "I always just accepted it as it’s probably got a lot more antisemitic undertone when it’s a Jew that hears it." And then that was compounded by your closing insult, "thanks for always sharing important Jewish viewpoints without undermining other social issues!"
And that closing insult told me that I had woefully failed in sharing any information about antisemitism at all. "Sharing important Jewish viewpoints without undermining other social issues". Jewish "viewpoints" and antisemitism are just as important as any other sort of bias. Pointing out antisemitism and sharing stories about antisemitism does not, and can not, undermine other social issues. It is not lesser. Honestly, I'm still kind of livid over that shot.
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the-world-of-nai · 6 months
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birth chart analysis: harry styles
today we are analyzing our air king, harry styles. i have noticed i've only been analyzing women so i wanted to switch it up. harry's chart kinda scares me, at least his big 6. anyways, let's get to it!
DISCLAIMER: this is just my interpretation of and opinion on his chart. it is not absolute truth, nor do you have to agree with it, but i'd like to hear your thoughts in the comments :) every sign has its shadow traits. i have aquarius and libra in my chart, but i will be pointing out the shadow traits of these signs. astrology is just for fun, not that deep. i feel the need to make this disclaimer as people are seemingly offended by some of my astro notes...
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sun in ♒︎, 11°
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ah yes, the aqua sun. what is there not to love? the pickmeisha behaviour? the emotional unavailability? the know it all syndrome? LOL ANYWAYSSSS BEFORE ALL THE BUTTHURT PEOPLE COMMENT I WAS JUST KIDDINGGGGGGG (i am an aqua myself, okay? i'm allowed to make these jokes💅). so this placement makes harry a mercury influenced aqua (if u are dumb that just means he is an aqua with some gemini vibes sprinkled onto him). off the bat, we can say that harry is a humanitarian at heart. he wants to change the world and be known for some big innovation. he has a way with words. he likes to learn new things, but he is quite set in his own convictions. harry believes that he is smarter than most people, and he is probably right. developed aquarians are open-minded, but they are hardly wrong about things so their beliefs/convictions don't change much. the shadow side to this is (drumroll plz) KNOW IT ALL SYNDROME!!! with all that aqua in his chart, harry believes himself to be a genius but he is also above the school and education system. 2 cool for skool. did i mention how rebellious he is? harry is a stubborn person in general. he is either super traditional, or super liberal in his beliefs. he does not like to follow the crowd. he likes to come to his own conclusions on things and he has a dislike of sorts for those who cannot think for themselves. harry is eccentric, social, friendly, accepting of others, and a bit flighty if anything. he has some special snowflake syndrome for sure. he likes getting attention for his innovative ideas. he wants to be a pioneer of sorts. he likes to stand out for his uniqueness, so to speak. he wants to help the world and make it a better place. i mean, just look at his merch LOL. he wants to encourage people to be their most authentic selves, because he cannot imagine not living that way.
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moon in ♎︎, 11°
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bro idk what it is with these celebs and libra moons! 3/4 of my analysis now have libra moons. it does add up though because libra moons value social status and luxury. harry is charming, emotionally aloof, attractive, and likeable. he is someone who does not like conflict. he values peace, harmony, and manners. MANNERSSSS. he is polite and sweet to people. he may be fake sometimes and pretend to like people who he doesn't like lol. he knows how to make others like/trust him and he can easily use this to his advantage (read: take advantage of other ppl after making them feel special and showering them with compliments!!). overall, he is very concerned with what is right. he will stand up to bullies, esp with that aqua influence. he likes fashion, luxury, status. he cares a good deal about his looks. he can be quite experimental/unique in his fashion tastes. he is not a very emotionally reactive person. it is rare to see him yell or get very angry. he is calm, cool, collected. a people pleaser at heart. he may have a strong conscience/gets guilty easily. he is indecisive on his feelings. he is a romantic and he longs to be in a partnership. he is very social and always wants to be around people because it energizes him, gives him meaning. the approval of others is important for his self esteem. without it, he may feel empty inside.
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asc in ♎︎, 28°
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again, it is all about the MANNERSS with this man. he is so polite and charming. all smiles and compliments. a 'gentleman' so to speak. he is medium tall, beautiful smile, pretty boy. always well kempt and effortless beauty. quite aloof and detached when you meet him (and lowkey always cuz like he's all air). he is the type of person that u meet and u swear he was flirting with you, but then u see that he flirts with everyone LOLLLLLLLLL. he may be a hugger. makes people feel quite special. again, cares a good deal about his looks. to harry, meeting new people is like a game: how fast can i make this person like me???
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mercury in ♒︎
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okay harry, we get it. you are not like other girls!! with mercury in aqua, harry likes to learn. he likes to write. he may be good at learning languages. he has a way with words, albeit a bit of a unique way. he is curious. he is fun to speak to. he may be interested in weird niche things like the occult, anime, poetry, etc. he likes to know about the world. could also be into debating and/or politics, esp with that libra in his chart.
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venus in ♒︎
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more aqua, are we shocked?? taylor swift also has a venus in aqua,,, soulmates? so basically this means many things. harry treats his lover like his best friend. this can make his lover wonder if they're even special at all lol. to his loved ones, harry is generous, caring, friendly, accepting, understanding, and quirky. though he is non-committal and flighty as well. he values mental connection above all else. he wants someone who he can have good conversations with; someone who stimulates him mentally. he may be the type who is open to poly relationships LOLLLLLLLLLL or like sexual experimentation?? with all this aqua lmao. he has a very unique/eccentric sense of style.
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mars in ♒︎
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harry does NOT CAREEEEEEE. he does not get mad or vengeful, he is a just a go with a flow dude who wants to have a good time. harry does not hold grudges either lol. again, he is rebellious and marches to the beat of his own drum. he does not like to be told what to do. he honestly could not give less of a fck what other people r sayin. he has his own methods when it comes to getting his projects done. his work ethic is: i will work when i feel like it! and if u tell him to work, he is less likely to do it because it triggers his aqua rebellion instincts.
anyways it's kinda hard to elaborate further cuz this man is just an aquarius through and through LOL.
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thank you all for reading! lmk your thoughts below. who should i do next??
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destinyc1020 · 1 month
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Sunday confessions
This is the tweet that sparked it off for me:
https://twitter.com/carolinerenard_/status/1772686529527160858?t=bIg9VXTGmPmGs9Cr7EYaiw&s=19
This is going to be a silly confession because I genuinely feel this topic is a dead horse, but my concern is of the mental health of stans in this aprt of the Internet, so here it goes. Some solo Tom fans are not really fans of who he is, but what they want him to be.
There is a blog who I dont want to mention cause I feel that they are entitled to their opinions, who seem very frustrated that Tom is allegedly doing SM4 and that fans aren't outraged with the fact his career isn't being steamrolled into prestige cinema outside the machine of MCU.
These fans are similar to CE fans, no shade.
I can understand the frustration cause Chris Evans fans also were in annoyance with the state of his career, post MCU. Chris Evans fans also hate his wife too so there's that, lol. Some Tom fans dislike the fact that he is just with Z and has no identity outside of it other than being a bf. Valid to some degree.
Now, let's bring some reality back into this. Stans need to understand that they don't know what Tom doing behind the scenes. They don't know what's in his head or his personal feelings. That tweet I linked was a very good observation in Stan culture cause some fans genuinely believe that Tom's accomplishments and actions are linked to them. It's a scary position to be cause now you are on the Internet spewing negativity towards tomdayas or anyone who celebrates their relationship and are in bubble cause you all lack nuance.
To be fair, Tom isn't taken seriously as an actor. Him doing a play is the best way to be taken seriously cause the theatre is the actors medium. He signed to do a 4th film for the MCU. You can't blame anyone but him for that. He's grown and is gonna do what he wants. If you don't like it, unstan. There are plenty of yt male actors who are doing prestigious films and Oscar buzz films to stan. The thing is you can't cause let's be honest we all love Tom and there's something about him that you can't help but root for.
He likes pics of Z, he even likes pics where he's just the photographer for Z. He lives tomdayas pics. He personally loves that role.
You have to meet ppl where they are at not what you want them to be. You have these high standards for a stranger, I can only imagine what you expect for ppl in your everyday life. Probably more leniency.
Pls stan culture is meant to be fun!!! Don't internalise or jump into conclusions or conspiracy due to what you don't know. Judge want you actually know through facts. And get help if you need it.💜
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Thanks Anon for your confession. 😊
Usually, I would not say much and just appreciate your honest thoughts on this topic, but you brought up so many interesting things that I just have to comment longer on this lol... Hope you have a comfortable chair! 😅
My response below:
👇👇
First of all...Whew! Those tweets! WOW! Can I say? Completely, 100% agree. 👏🏾 This is what is at the crux of stan culture and social media addiction, and celebrity obsession.
Some solo Tom fans are not really fans of who he is, but what they want him to be.
I agree. I think there are SOME fans of Tom who are truly genuinely fans of his, but they want his career to look a different way, or to be what THEY want it to be, instead of just letting go of control, being a passive fan, and allowing his career to be whatever it's going to be.
One thing about me is that I'm usually a passive fan of whoever I'm a fan of. While I would love my faves to do certain roles, I'm not out here getting angry or upset if they aren't doing roles that I personally would love to see them do. I just go with the flow. I'm happy whenever I hear of a new project announcement for one of my faves, and I let things go!
There is a blog who I dont want to mention cause I feel that they are entitled to their opinions, who seem very frustrated that Tom is allegedly doing SM4 and that fans aren't outraged with the fact his career isn't being steamrolled into prestige cinema outside the machine of MCU.
First off, everyone is entitled to their own opinions.... With that said, maybe Tom has already done "prestigious cinema" as a younger guy, and now he wants to do more of a variety of roles. Did that thought ever occur to people?
I can understand the frustration cause Chris Evans fans also were in annoyance with the state of his career, post MCU. Chris Evans fans also hate his wife too so there's that, lol.
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Hey now....not ALL of us Chris Evans fans out here are hating on him and his career, or hate on his wife lol. 😅 I, for one, would like to see him get out of the "Marvel Bubble" and have more substantial roles in the future, but I'm not upset with the work that he's BEEN getting during and post-Marvel. I just enjoy seeing him in whatever new venture/project that he has coming out?? 😅
Also, Idk much about Alba, but aside from the age gap and the fact that she looks like a KID lol, I AM actually very happy for Chris and Alba and their marriage. She seems very sweet, and she seems to make him very happy. 🥰 I love that for him! ❤️ Everyone deserves love. 🥰
Some Tom fans dislike the fact that he is just with Z and has no identity outside of it other than being a bf. Valid to some degree.
I do think there's some validity to this...as I've mentioned this before myself.
Stans need to understand that they don't know what Tom doing behind the scenes. They don't know what's in his head or his personal feelings.
Exactly! I agree with this 100%.
He's grown and is gonna do what he wants. If you don't like it, unstan
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There are plenty of yt male actors who are doing prestigious films and Oscar buzz films to stan. The thing is you can't cause let's be honest we all love Tom and there's something about him that you can't help but root for. He likes pics of Z, he even likes pics where he's just the photographer for Z. He lives tomdayas pics. He personally loves that role.
Okay.... I'm sorry, but I have to vent here for a second.
Whew...Where do I begin?
Don't get me wrong, I think it's cute, adorable, and lovely that Tom is so supportive of Z, and some of the cute things they do in their relationship is just really adorable and makes us all believe in love again. 🥰
The PROBLEM that I'm seeing though is that Tom isn't autonomous from his relationship and his career. It's cool that fans want to stan Tom because of his cute "boyfriend" behaviors, but Tom is first and FOREMOST an A-C-T-O-R. An actor should be admired for their career and their WORK, NOT their relationship. The relationship is just the icing on the cake (imo). 🤷🏾‍♀️
I think the problem is that some stans are mainly associating Tom with his relationship, and aren't really giving credit to his career and his work. That's demoralizing imo. Any actor that you are a fan of should be admired primarily because of their work. Who they are as a person, and any "boyfriend" behavior is like secondary and just icing on the cake imo. Granted, you're not going to be a "stan" over every good actor out here, and I get it. But Tom isn't some "TV Personality" or "reality star" or "influencer". So his relationship shouldn't be taking precedence over his acting career imo. He's an ACTOR first and foremost. Jmho. 🤷🏾‍♀️
To be fair, Tom isn't taken seriously as an actor. Him doing a play is the best way to be taken seriously cause the theatre is the actors medium
I'm sorry, but I wholeheartedly disagree with this. Tom IS taken seriously in the industry as an actor. He wouldn't have gotten the role in "Cherry", "TCR", "TDATT", Romeo & Juliet, or be considered by Sam Mendes for "1917" if he weren't taken seriously as an actor in Hollywood. He wouldn't have been nominated for a Critic's Choice Award this year if he weren't.
Please don't take this the wrong way, but some of you all really need to get off of FilmBro Twitter and come back to reality.
Pls stan culture is meant to be fun!!! Don't internalise or jump into conclusions or conspiracy due to what you don't know. Judge want you actually know through facts. And get help if you need it.💜
I agree. 😊
Being a fan of someone should be fun! If it's not, then you either need to reevaluate who you're stanning, OR, make adjustments to your viewing habits or expectations of said actor. Jmho
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mosswitch219 · 18 days
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Some thoughts on Bad Batch Season 3
SPOILERS
First off I want to say this is going to be a very unpopular opinion and if you liked the szn this probably isnt the post for u, but I feel I have to speak my mind.
Overall after watching season 3 I honestly feel let down and unsatisfied with the events and especially the ending.
1. Techs death is probably the biggest thing that frustrated me because when you kill a character off you should either have your other characters morn and grieve them and learn to accept the loss or bring them back.
However they didn't either of those, instead they pretty much forget he existed they barely reference him and only say his name like twice, it would be fine to show characters in denial about someone's death but it's more like the show is in denial. This is why many bad batch fans were expecting tech to come back, if you don't morn a characters death than the story arch feels incomplete a ppl will wait for it to "end".
Not to mention techs story didn't seem over he left on weird unfinished terms with Phee and it seemed like they would touch on it again but nope.
Also they introduced CX-2 and made it seem like he might be tech, such as having the same build and teasing the identity like it's important and like it will mean something and then at the end for CX-2 and all these super soldiers to mean absolutely nothing.
2. So many unfinished questions, I can't believe this is the end of bad batch and apparently the last clone show. Especially when we still don't know where tf Cody is and all we're told is that he's gone AWOL (mentioned like it will mean something in the future) and then we never see or hear anything about him again.
Then there's Wolffe obviously we know he's in Rebels but what happens between then and now?
Then there's Echo same as Wolffe what happens to him as we never see him fighting alongside rex in Rebels.
Then ventress she was introduced back and then she leaves and we never see or hear about her ever again, she didn't rlly add much they revived and went "look ventress is back" for one episode and then that's it she's no longer important all she did was say "yup omega has a high M count" and then left.
3. Omega and the other force sensitive children could have patched up the plot hole of "somehow palatine is back" by saying using omegas clone DNA that can sustain high levels of a M count and a force sensitive child they were able to figure out how to clone palatine or smth but no it all meant nothing and we never rlly knew what the tests where for even when they had a golden opportunity to reveal it when Rampart forces Nala se to tell him everything abt the experiments
Honestly season 1&2 were great and so I went into season 3 expecting the same amount of quality but I didn't get that. They usually tie everything together and I never felt unsatisfied or confused in szn 1&2 but I did in szn 3. I kept waiting for things to start to tie together especially when the had so many moment where it seemed like the scenes where there just to make things make sense but no they were all there for nothing.
I walked away from szn 3 thinking it must have been rushed or gotten a new writers team bc wtf was any of this, it was so out of character for the writers to make such bad decisions.
I understand if other people like the ending bc we don't usually get somewhat happy endings but this was more like a half-assed happy ending to me, I would have preferred a well written devastating bad ending but this is what we got instead and I am so disappointed. All I could think of szn 3 was about how angry, let down and confused I was and that it was a lame and made me feel meh.
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