#does that not warrant empathy | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

aphel1on · 8 months

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not sure how to phrase this but something i have been ruminating on recently is that xue yang is strangely fragile. obviously he is also incredibly resilient. he survived, and continues to survive, impossible things. he has a million barriers between himself and the world, but none of this actually matters when it comes to what he feels. everything is personal to him. everything pierces straight through all that armor and goes right to his battered heart, the heart that no one else believes he has. that even he is not fully cognizant of. the world strikes and strikes and strikes and so he strikes and strikes and strikes back, even (especially) when the wound is something other people would not think worthy of retribution.

xue yang would never realize this- would be outraged at the concept of it- but the way everything, everything is something to rally a defense against is in itself a form of fragility. he does not know how to let go of things, or let them pass him by. passivity is death. so he is ruthlessly cruel and violent. he projects himself as a lunatic untouchable by anything you might possibly do to him, and on some level he even believes this. but in actuality he is one raw emotional wound. he never learned to separate himself from his emotions, much less process them. the volatility is not so much insanity as it is the constant lashing out of an animal in a trap, and the trap is the world, and the trap is himself, and he is never going to get out. and like so much else, this pain is just part of the background radiation of his life. it hardly registers. to be able to register the hurt, you would have to be able to register a time in which you were not hurt.

i feel like it is a fragility that could blossom into such tenderness, given exactly the right set of circumstances. how at the very first touch of softness in his life he fell into a domesticity from which he never recovered. how much was there, still, to be salvaged from the cruelty. on some level i am always thinking about the little apple bunnies. about the meal for daozhang and the straw in a-qing's bed.

it was too little, too late. it shattered like glass when the world intruded back in. but the tenderness was there. no one, least of all xue yang, knows what might have happened had it been unearthed in him any sooner.

#he is easy to hurt. this is a fact. it is also anathema to his own self conception as well as the model of him in anyone elses minds.#xue yang #yi city #mdzs #aphelion.txt #xy #Contact is crisis; every touch is a modified blow #<- xycore anne carson quote. if you even care #meta #i guess? idk #it is always character analysis hour in my head #with a disclaimer that whether or not someone experiences empathy is NOT correlated to their morality #i dont think its necessarily that xy is incapable of empathy it's that any empathy that might exist in him is deeply deeply repressed #bc he views it as a death warrant. he (at every moment in his head and really quite often in reality) is on trial for his life #and it would be suicidal to give a shit about anyone who is not him.#especially since he knows- down to his bones- that no one is ever going to give a shit about him EXCEPT FOR him #the one chance he ever got to escape this cycle of brutality came with an expiration date built in by consequence of his past atrocities #and he only first started to comprehend anything about his own emotions after it was all already irrevocably fucked #in canon he is doomed. in fandom i am always picking him up and putting him somewhere kinder #shakes you by the shoulders do you understand what he does to me. do you. do you #if you tell me im excusing his crimes i will kill you w my lazer beam.#this isnt ABOUT THAT. this is ME BEING UNHINGED ABT HIS PSYCHOLOGY in a moral vaccuum.#i'm not saying 'hes sensitive uwu' but like i kind of am. unfortunately it mostly just motivates him to murder people #OH and when i connect the fragility to the tenderness i dont mean that i believe hes like. secretly soft #i mean that being as he is so deeply impacted by people's slights against him. he is just as deeply impacted by people's kindnesses #and he's not incapable of reciprocating it. he is INCREDIBLY fucking bad at it. but not incapable #ok i have to post this before i feel compelled to ramble any longer in the tags. jesus #got consumed by my a-yang feelings on a sunday morning sorry #not sure why i worded it as 'continues to survive' other than a constant subconscious denial that xue yang is dead

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niningtori · 2 months

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to know him is to love him, and i do | chapter one: do you not love me? like at all?

pairing(s): choi beomgyu x you, kang taehyun x you

summary: you love beomgyu more than anything. you just wish he loved you, too. or you finally break up with beomgyu and move on, but as for him? maybe he's starting to realize too little too late.

genre: romance, angst, angst with a happy ending (?)

word count: 2.1k

notes: hi friends! ... r u mad at me? be honest (*´ｪ｀*) i'm sorry i've been gone for so long, but i've had the worst writer's block with my other story. i decided to just post this because i couldn't get the idea of toxic!beomgyu out of my head. don't worry, he will suffer. anyway, i hope you like it!! if not, please don't hurt my feelings i beg.

"i told you it was nothing. why are you freaking out?"

"she was fucking you with her eyes, beomgyu!" you exclaim in frustration.

"and that's my fault how?"

"it's not your fault, but i'm sick of you entertaining women, let alone your actual fucking ex, while i'm standing right next to you!" his ex is just another fish in the barrel, or at least that's what he says, but the thought that they were intimate together at one point still makes you feel sick. truthfully, your boyfriend is handsome, so you've spent the better part of the past 10 months warding off the women who circle him like vultures. you wouldn't mind as much as you do if he seemed at all interested in helping you do so, especially when faced with his ex that you suspect he still has feelings for, but he does not. quite the opposite, actually. it's like he thrives off of the attention and god it hurts.

"i'm not entertaining anybody. i told her i have a girlfriend now," he, well, you would say argues, but it's said so nonchalantly it doesn't warrant the term.

"a girlfriend you proceeded to ignore while she hung off of your shoulders and laughed all night! i just don't understand how you don't understand how much it hurts my feelings. i'm a human too! how would you feel if my ex, who was very clearly interested in me, hung around me right in front of you?" and it's like you're explaining empathy to a child.

"me? i wouldn't give a fuck because it's not that serious," he replies with a slightly irritated shake of his head.

it's always like this. always. you're always the one who cares more between the two of you. you were the one who asked him out in the first place. you were the one who initiated your first kiss. your first fight. hell, even your first reconciliation. you're not stupid, you know he doesn't feel quite the same way you do, but he has to feel something, right? otherwise, why would he say yes to you when he's rejected so many other women? your brain hurts trying to wrap your head around it all.

"you're missing the point! if you were me, you would—" you begin frustratedly, but you cut yourself off. "you know what? i don't even have the energy to explain this to you. i don't understand why i have to explain basic human emotion to you and i really don't understand why i have to beg and plead for you to care about how i feel!" you all but shriek.

"you don't have to do shit, just leave if you're that fucking unhappy," he spits out angrily, which is the first real emotion — besides mild annoyance — you've seen out of him this entire conversation. he gets impatient when you're like this, which usually results in you relenting, but not tonight. you're far too hurt to let go so easily.

"you're right! i am unhappy! i just — why don't you care that i'm unhappy? what can i do to make you give a fuck about me?" you have a brave face on but you can feel your eyes getting hot and your voice trembling ever so slightly.

"you could try not being so damn needy, maybe that'd help."

your eyes redden even further and your lips unintentionally twist themselves into a sour frown. you hate it when he calls you needy because you do need a lot from him, it feels like. his time. his care. his attention and affection. yet you never seem to get it.

"do you not love me? like at all?" you ask. all of the venom in your tone has been sucked out mercilessly and you sound more helpless than angry.

"do you not realize how fucking crazy you sound?" he scoffs as if he can't fathom why you'd be upset. as if he's not watching you break down in real time.

"why won't you give me a straight answer?" you question, voice softer than it was before.

he does nothing but scowl and you know beomgyu well enough to know that he's avoiding your question. that's enough of an answer as it stands, really. he doesn't care. never has. probably never will.

"then why'd you even say yes to dating me?" you truly don't understand. you thought you were different. you thought he saw something in you he didn't see in his harem of other suitors, and trust that there were many.

"i dunno. i was just bored, i guess," he answers with a shrug and your world as you know it collapses. the man you love sees you as nothing more than a way to kill time. he's picking you up right now just to toss you away when the next shiny toy presents itself. and so far, you've let him drag you around because you love him. that's how much you love him. but looking at him now, at how unbothered he is, you wonder if you've even got anything left to give.

"i really do love you," you manage to squeeze out with a bitter smile. your poor heart is on display for the naked eye to see and it seems like he really couldn't care less, but that won't stop you from asking. "does that mean anything at all to you?"

"well, i'm sorry you feel that way," he says simply, "but that's not my fucking problem."

your heart sinks to your stomach and you feel like you're going to throw up. in this moment, as you watch the love of your life dismiss you like you're a fucking dog begging for scraps of food, you feel an overwhelming sense of clarity as you realize he doesn't love you. he doesn't even like you. he probably hates you, actually. like a mental montage, every moment in which he showed you that exact sentiment plays all at once in your head.

all those times you let him choose everything from movies to dinner because the idea of a compromise was inconceivable. all of those occasions, special and otherwise, where you were supposed to go out on a date, but he'd bail without a word and you'd forgive him with no apology. when you'd offer him your share of dessert because he ate all of his and you knew he wanted more, and he'd take it without so much as a thank you. how you'd sit and listen to him tell stories about how amazing his friends were, but he'd never even ask about your day. when those same friends would jokingly call you the perfect girlfriend and you thought it was an indication of how good your relationship was, but in reality, it was a way to tease him because the thought of actually being with you was so abhorrent and ridiculous that it must be a joke. all those times you told him you loved him and he'd just smile and kiss you deeper. memories like these flood your brain with a vengeance so cruel it makes your head ache, and in a way, you realize it's ridiculous to be surprised when there was so much proof of his feelings in the first place.

"oh. okay," you say with what you hope is a soft and unbothered laugh, but comes out more as a choked one. "i guess there's nothing left to say. i'll get my shit and go."

you hesitate for a few excruciatingly awkward moments before collecting yourself enough to start gathering your things, which are scattered haphazardly around his apartment from his bedroom to his bathroom. it's like a walk of shame, almost, and you feel even shittier when he plops down on the couch with a long suffering sigh as he begins to massage the bridge of his nose. you feel so small in this moment — like a petulant child who just got done throwing an unsuccessful tantrum — and you're now soaking in the sobering aftermath and sitting with the thought that he just watched you have a meltdown like he was watching a monkey putting on a show. how much more is he going to humiliate you? enough is enough, you think, so before you can actually finish collecting all of your belongings, you're scurrying out of the apartment. before you go, you glance back at him one last time. "beomgyu?" you ask tentatively, tears clouding your eyes.

"yeah?" he replies with a sigh. this is it, you think.

"i don't want to see you ever again," you say firmly. before he can reply, if he ever intended to in the first place, you slam the door.

there's a lot to love about beomgyu. for one, he's handsome, which is obvious, but he has a certain allure you could never help but be drawn in by. he's always been a charming man, but even more so when he's talking to a woman he's interested in. as interested as he could be, that is. he's funny and comically pompous when he wants to be, but still somehow down to earth despite it all.

he's been described as a mood-maker, and while he grew to resent that term, you thought it was at least partially true, if only in the context of your relationship. when he's sad, you're devastated. when he's happy, you're over the fucking moon. his feelings are your whole world. or were, you guess, since all that's over now.

it wasn't all bad all the time, you think. there were times where you thought he really might reciprocate even a fraction of what you felt for him, and most of the time, that was enough. you could work with that. love looks different for everyone, you would reason. maybe he just had a funny way of showing it.

there were days where you'd laugh together and end the night lying in each other's arms while you'd cradle him like he was the most precious thing in the whole world because, to you, he really was. he was normally so boisterous when with his friends, but while he would never admit it to anyone else, he'd tell you about some of his insecurities while you gently combed your fingers through his long, silky hair. he'd speak of regrets and longing for people to take him more seriously. he'd never say it, but he wanted people to see you like you saw him. the real him. you'd let him cry while your hands cupped his cheeks and you'd shush him while he fiddled mindlessly with your hair like a child. you'd kiss his the tip of his reddened nose until he laughed instead of cried. times like those, you'd really think you were someone special to him. but now you realize you were wrong. you were just an outlet for him, and anyone willing to be an emotional dumping ground would do the trick too.

after a few weeks of moping, your sadness has begun to morph into anger and resentment. you spent nearly a year of your life trying to make an emotionally stunted man care about you, and that's not even counting the years of pining over him before you finally worked up the courage to ask him out. it was difficult to see it in the moment, but after being away from him for so long, it's crystal clear that he was honestly just an asshole who didn't really like you. nothing more, nothing less. maybe he'd find someone to change for someday, maybe he'd even work things out with his ex, but for whatever reason, you weren't her. that's just the way it goes, you guess. what really bothers you are the "what if's" of the situation. what if you were prettier, or smarter, or kinder. would he have seen you for who you really are? would he have grown to appreciate you if you had given him more to appreciate?

either way, there's no use crying over spilled milk now. you won't be going back to him any time soon and he certainly won't come crawling back to you. you'll continue to think of him less and less until your time together fades into a distant (and unpleasant) memory. you smile at the thought.

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mouschiwrites · 6 months

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Before I. forget can I request a Ninjago headcanon of reader swearing (no actual swears needed) and the others reacting? Or reader getting mad and needing to be comforted.

Love You!! (platonically) Bye!!!!

Right back at you (platonically)! <33

Ninjago - Ninjas When You Get Mad

Kai

He gets it

When you snap, shouting in a sudden outburst of anger, he hardly flinches

He's got a lot of experience with being angry, but he's also developed good coping skills because of this

He'll try to get you to use one of these skills

He knows it's not fun being mad, and that it can destroy you from the inside

He doesn't want that to happen to you

So, he'll approach you casually, not telling you to calm down or anything, instead just suggesting a way to channel your anger

"Hey, wanna come down to the dojo? There's a training dummy that really wants to get acquainted with your fist."

If you want to spar, he's down for that too

Anything you think will help cool you down

Though he'll be a little confused if you want to do something like draw or watch a movie

For him, it's the higher-energy activities that help

But, ultimately, whatever you need is fine with him

He'll wait until your anger's all burned up to ask what's wrong

From there he'll help you plot revenge

Lloyd

He's another one with empathy for what you're going through

He'll be a little surprised at your outburst, but he's quick to respond

Finding a way to control your anger would be his primary focus

He suggests activities he knows you like

“Do you want to ___? It will probably help.”

While you let the anger pour out, he'll encourage you to vent to him

If you don't want to, he understands, but he does want to know what made you so angry in the first place

He wants you to make peace with who/whatever made you angry

He'll act as a mediator if it's a person you're mad at

He doesn't want you making enemies, plus he's a strong advocate for peace

Won't condone revenge, but he might pull a little prank if you ask nice enough

Or if he thinks it's warranted

Will make you own up to it if you're caught though

Jay

His soul jumps from his body when you snap

Just stares at you with wide eyes, not even moving

He’ll watch you rampage for a second before trying to do anything

He talks in a quiet, meek voice

“Y/n? Uh, Y/n? Maybe… uh… you wanna try to cool down? …maybe?”

Realizing that you’re scaring him is what really makes your anger subside

He asks what made you so angry

Makes a mental note to keep you out of such a situation in the future

Or at least not to be around you when it arises again

When you’re calm enough that he knows you won’t snap again, he’ll request cuddles

He was scared, you were mad, you could both use some affection to heal

Zane

Barely reacts to your outburst

Focuses instead on calming you down

If he needs to remove someone/something from your presence, he does it without hesitation

You won’t even need to ask; he’ll be able to see it

He’ll try to take your hand, making you focus on him and not your anger

If that doesn’t work, he just backs away and lets you fume for a minute

When you’re starting to calm down, he’ll check on you

He probably already knows what made you mad, so he’ll just be seeing how much of the anger remains

“It’s been half an hour since your outburst. Are you much calmer now?”

If you need something to do to distract yourself, he’ll bring you whatever you ask for

He’ll just watch you with careful eyes, monitoring for signs that you’re calming down

Once you’re 100% cooled off, he tries to get you back on task

If there is no task, he joins you in whatever you’re doing

Won’t ask you to talk about it (again, he already knows why you were mad), but will listen if you do talk

Cole

Not surprised, just shocked

He looks at you with raised eyebrows and a gaping jaw

He starts to try and help right away

“Do you need to punch something? Draw, maybe? Run?”

Vent art is his jam though, so if you pick something artistic he’ll be thrilled

Don’t get me wrong, he likes a good workout to release energy, but not when he’s mad

He’ll sit with you while you draw or paint or play an instrument

He encourages you to try different mediums; you never know which might be useful

When you’re done, he asks you to tell him about it

You don’t have to share your art, but it might help illustrate your feelings while you talk

He’d also be satisfied just seeing/hearing whatever you made, no explanation necessary

To him it’s more important that you’re calm now

Nya

Will rage with you

Not in a competitive way, more in an instigating way

“Yeah!! Let’s go punch something!”

Though this is honestly just her knee-jerk reaction to anger, she’s also aware that it gives her the power to direct the situation

So she’ll take you to the dojo, where you’ll both beat the ever-loving jimmies out of every punching bag and dummy

When you’ve both tired yourselves out, she’ll get you to talk about it

She’ll probably already know why you were angry because she joined you when you first snapped

But she wants to talk it out still

Unlike Lloyd, she is not a peacemaker

Will complain and plot revenge with you

Very, very detailed revenge

Up to you whether you actually go through with it though; she’s down, but also accepts it if you’d rather just forget the whole thing

Thanks for reading! And thank you for the request! Take care guys <33

(divider by saradika)

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torchickentacos · 4 months

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Okay, let's fucking go over this, actually! No more quietly throwing my thoughts in tags. If you'd unfollow for this then I don't want you here anyways. Feel free to reblog. Regarding the nonconsensual Taylor Swift AI porn.

1.) it's disgusting to say that sexual harassment was "worth it" if legislation gets passed because of the harassment. I see your sentiment, I know we all want more control over how AI can and cannot be used. We can hope for change after this, yes. But it's still awful to say that an incredibly public, graphic image of a gang rape was "worth it". Assault and harassment should not have to be 'productive', or have an 'end goal', to warrant the utmost compassion and empathy towards the victim. It's abhorrent to say that someone's humiliation, pain, violation of privacy and consent, was worth it. Even if we got ai images fully regulated immediately. That's not worth it.

Sexual harassment cannot, and never will be, 'worth it'.

2.) it's disgusting to see that the response to this is "I don't like her, but-", or "fuck taylor swift, but-", or "I hate her and swifties, but-". Not sure what compels people to see a woman who just got, call it what it is, SEXUALLY HARASSED ON A GLOBAL SCALE, and to then immediately chronicle the ways they hate her before giving some weak and vague call to action towards swifties. We get it. You hate her. Might as well kick her while she's down because images of her being gang raped just got circulated, huh? Nobody's asking you to like her, but TIME and PLACE, my friends. If you're going to hate her to a weirdly involved and passionate degree, do it maybe not in the tags of posts showing support to her right now.

3.) it's disgusting to see that people think this is not a big deal because she's rich, or because of the airplane thing, or whatever your gripe with her is that I'm sure I'll hear about in the tags anyways. Buddy, she could be the poorest person on earth or the richest. She could be an angel or a devil, does not fucking matter. What matters is that this should not happen to ANYONE, regardless of literally any demographic or status you can throw at them. Consent is nonnegotiable, no matter who's the one giving it or not. The worst person in the entire world deserves to have their consent and basic human dignity respected. Yes, even that person. Morality is not some flexible thing you only give to people you like or agree with. And if it is, I question just how moral your morality really is.

Again. Feel free to reblog.

#tw sa #taylor swift #ai

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even-disco-baby · 2 years

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CINDY THE SKULL — “Evening, officers. It’s a bit late to be skulking about, don’t you think?” Though she’s lounging around the coal room door as languidly as ever, her pale eyes ringed with coal dust seem to bore a hole in your skull.

YOU — “I’m looking for a place to sleep.”

CINDY THE SKULL — She lifts an eyebrow at you and Kim. “Did the cafeteria man finally decide he wasn’t interested in keeping a pigsty?”

YOU — “No, Kim is still staying there. I just can’t pay my bill.”

KIM KITSURAGI — The lieutenant clears his throat slightly. “Let’s not give people the impression that officers of the RCM make a habit of dodging their tabs, detective.”

CINDY THE SKULL — She glances at Kim, lips pursing just slightly.

EMPATHY — His little comment irritated her. Curious.

CINDY THE SKULL — “Tough luck, officer.” She shrugs, the faux fur collar of her coat brushing her cheeks. “There’s a perfectly good garbage bin in the courtyard. It’s got a lovely view. Real prime real estate.”

YOU — “I know. Garte said I could sleep there, but I’d rather find somewhere else.”

CINDY THE SKULL — She blinks her coal-smeared eyes at you. Then, she turns to the lieutenant. “Is he joking?”

KIM KITSURAGI — “No,” he says drily. “He is not. If you know of any… more *comfortable* places to sleep, we would be much obliged.”

CINDY THE SKULL — She stares openly at the two of you, as if in disbelief.

COMPOSURE — The absurdity of your plight has nearly broken right through her veneer of youthful detachment.

CINDY THE SKULL — “Maybe I’m the one who should be a detective. I can solve your little case for you right now.” She points to the lieutenant. “Your room.”

KIM KITSURAGI — His face is solid stone. “No.”

ESPIRIT DE CORPS — There are so many reasons why he does *not* want to do that. He has neither the time nor any desire to share them with Cindy. Or with you, for that matter.

-1 MORALE

CINDY THE SKULL — She whistles softly. “Damn. Must be true what they say about pigs and cannibalism.”

KIM KITSURAGI — The lieutenant does not rise to her bait.

EMPATHY — But there is something playing at the downturned corners of his mouth and the furrow of his brow. Something like guilt.

YOU — “What about the coal room, Cindy?”

CINDY THE SKULL — She outright laughs at you. “Fuck no! You want in my room, get a warrant, piggo!”

LOGIC — While drug possession is not a crime in Revachol, it doesn’t stop most cops from confiscating substances from vulnerable civilians for their own personal use. Including yourself, most likely.

ELECTROCHEMISTRY — Hey, good idea! Cindy’s an artsy type, she’s probably got all kinds of shit to get her creative juices flowing.

PAIN THRESHOLD — And to get her through the cold and the hunger and the cruelty.

VOLITION — No. Don’t make things any worse than they already are.

YOU — “But then… where do I go?”

CINDY THE SKULL — She shrugs again. “It’s not my problem, is it? Ask your partner, here. Or maybe you should take a hint and go back home to the farm.”

YOU — “I don’t know if I have a home… I think I lost it.”

KIM KITSURAGI — The lieutenant’s frown deepens. He stares down at his boots rather than meet your or Cindy’s eye.

CINDY THE SKULL — A long, almost uncomfortable silence. Her eyes are hardening as they take you in— you and your bloodshot eyes, your slightly labored breathing, your clothes that are certainly too thin to keep you warm tonight.

EMPATHY — She feels sorry for you, and she resents herself for it.

CINDY THE SKULL — She lets out a long sigh, closing her eyes and shaking her head. “All right, piggy. Just quit looking at me all pitiful… You saw the foreclosed apartment in the hall, right? If you wait for the cleaning lady to go to sleep, and you don’t stay long, it’s not a bad place. Better than the trash, anyway.”

REACTION SPEED — She seems to regret it as soon as the words leave her mouth. She’s not thrilled at the idea of trusting your honor not to rat out or even arrest your fellow squatters. But it’s too late now.

SUGGESTION — Wait. Is it really that simple? What if she expects something in return for the information? Or she could be setting a trap for you!

YOU — “Hang on. What’s the catch?”

CINDY THE SKULL — A wry smile breaks out across her face. It almost looks pained. “No catch, officer. I’m no snitch. Nor a pig.”

RHETORIC — You’ve insulted her more deeply than she cares to let on. She helped you because she knows your struggles intimately. Struggles that have claimed the lives of people she cared about. But now you’ve reminded her of the difference between you: she calls you pig because you sold your humanity for the power to strip others of their own.

EMPATHY — She’s sad. She was born sad and she will die sad. You are the one making her sad.

YOU — “Hey, Cindy?”

CINDY THE SKULL — “What?”

“I’m sorry. Thank you for helping me.”

“You shouldn’t judge me. We’re the same. We do what it takes to survive. You have the Skulls, I have the RCM.”

“Can’t we just get along?”

“I’ll pay you back somehow. I’ll make things right.”

“I don’t want to be this kind of animal anymore.”

KIM KITSURAGI — The lieutenant looks up at you, startled. Concerned, even. He almost looks as though he wants to say something, but nothing comes to him. He just stares at you, at a loss.

CINDY THE SKULL — She levels you with a steady gaze. Even without the coal dust, her eyes would look sunken into her wan face. If it weren’t for the roundness still clinging to her cheeks, she would have lost nearly all trace of her youth by now.

“I don’t think you even understand what kind of animal you are,” she says coolly.

ENCYCLOPEDIA — Homo sapien.

CONCEPTUALIZATION — A tiny, violent ape.

AUTHORITY — Predator.

HALF LIGHT — Prey.

VOLITION — You’re a human, Harry. Nothing more or less.

INLAND EMPIRE — The saddest and cruelest animal of them all.

#disco elysium #cindy the skull #harry du bois #kim kitsuragi #i have a lot of feelings about cindy’s interactions w the player…#but anyway. this was inspired by me failing to earn enough money on day 2 to pay garte #and since i asked joyce for money on day one kim never sold his spinners for me #but like he does that to cover specifically the damages right. not for ur 20 real for the room #so he was comically uncaring about my plight LMFAO #even tho I the player knew that he could help me if he wanted bc he still had the spinners 😭😭😭#anyway this resulted in me panicking and swearing for quite some time bc joyce was gone for the night #and the pawn shop was closed #and eventually i just went and savescummed the check to beat up measurehead until i passed #just so that i could look around the harbor for money until i had enough to pay for the bed 😭#sorry kim for making you follow me around past 4 am but actually im not sorry #that’s what you get for almost letting me sleep in the garbage SNSGEJDHX

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crepes-suzette-373 · 3 months

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Lineage Factor and Emotions

This might be super obvious to some people, I'm just writing this down mostly to straighten out my thoughts because it's all over the place.

Something I've been wondering for a while is just how exactly did Ichiji, Niji, and Yonji's "empathy" get removed, and whether or not it's possible to get it back.

This is also important to figure out whether Sanji's worry about him turning "evil" if his modifications fully awakened is warranted or not.

I had already previously explained that the brothers do still have emotions, and only very selective ones are taken out. I imagine if you take out all their emotions, they would've turned into something like the Pacifistas. No expression, no individuality, no personality. Just robot-like behaviour. This is very interesting, because just how exactly do you choose to only take out selective emotions?

Currently there's not enough info to tell, but my working hypothesis is that the emotions wasn't "removed". What happened is that whatever was modified in their lineage factor also includes modification that suppresses certain emotions (fear, empathy/sympathy, who knows what else).

"Emotions" is somehow part of the "data" included in Lineage Factor.

While for the most part Lineage Factor is like DNA in our real world, it also apparently includes "emotions" in One Piece. It's to the point that the Hancock seraphim is still in love with Luffy when the lineage factor is copied into the clones.

It's also implied in the flashbacks showing Sora trying to stop the modifications. Sora was concerned about their "hearts" (emotions/feelings), but the medicine she took was something that tampers with the lineage factor. As a result, not only is Sanji's emotions fully intact, but he doesn't have "powers".

Except that whatever Sora drank didn't actually do anything to the lineage factor. As it turns out, all it did was suppressing the modifications from manifesting/taking effect.

I had previously wondered why they couldn't just re-augment Sanji once they noticed he "failed", but when I re-checked the raw, the text says that the modifications was successfully done (on the "cellular level"/DNA, to use our world's terminology). It's just that the intended modifications did not "manifest"/take effect.

成功したはずでした does not mean "we thought it was successful, but actually it wasn't". It means that even though the "objective" (lineage factor manipulation) was successfully completed, the intended "outcome" (powers + exoskeleton) was not achieved due to other factors.

Sanji's "lineage factor" is already manipulated. They can't do anything to him anymore. It's jut that why/how the medicine Sora took can stop the modifications from manifesting, or how the raid suit can awaken it after so long is still a mystery.

So, if Sanji's mods fully awakens, I imagine that it's true that he will really become merciless like his brothers. All 4 of them went through the same treatment, after all. We saw that happen briefly when Sanji was fighting S-Shark.

Since Reiju has the abilities but her sympathy wasn't blocked, I theorise that it's possible to find the part of the lineage factor that controls emotions, and just "unblock" that one part.

Now that there's Vegapunk around, when they escape Egghead, they might be able to figure this out using Vegapunk's knowledge. The actual operation might not be immediately doable without the labs, but maybe if they find Law he can help? The actual details of lineage factor is mysterious, but if it's strictly physical/biology and not something that requires medicines/chemicals, it's possible that Law's powers can be used.

Alternative possibility is they might need to go to Neo MADS and demand that Judge himself undo it. Like, I think this is very very unlikely (and I don't really want this to happen either), but it might be a plot bridge to, you know, actually ask why he wanted revenge against the other North Blue kings.

Then maybe this will finally reveal the secret of Germa's past, because many things in the series seem to imply that they have or they know something important related to the World Government. Something that the crew will need to learn about or obtain.

Is Ichiji's powers okay?

In my theory posts, I analysed the various instances where Ichiji seems to display indications that he's actually different from Niji and Yonji. He might not have the full range of emotions like Reiju did, but there's something about him that's just different.

I'm somewhat curious if this as of yet unknown "anomaly" means that his powers are screwed up as well. He has exoskeleton, but we don't know for sure what built-in powers does he have.

I have previously mentioned the suggestion that his Sparking Valkyrie lasers might be just the suit. Sensei already confirmed in an SBS that the Germa abilities are half augmented in the body and half the suit:

So, maybe the emotions anomaly does affect Ichiji's powers to that without the Raid Suit he cannot do anything.

A possible hint that this was the case might be the fact that he just sat there not doing anything when at gunpoint in the wedding.

Niji's electricity runs in his body, so even if he uses it, it does him no good here if he can't use his arms and legs to fight. He can't shoot electricity blasts (the thunderclaps you see in the anime when he fights is not canon).

Reiju's poison breath seems to be a suit power, and her built-in ability is only for absorbing in poison. So she can't do anything either.

However, Ichiji could've lasered down the Big Mum pirates with his eyes since his head can still move. Or, even try to laser the candy to break free. We can see in the scene where he shot down Oven that the light blasts of Valkyrie can make holes in people. It might be able to break the candy.

Sure, they're surrounded, and there's the chance of him getting gunned down before he can do much, but the way he talks implies that "he can't do anything".

If the lasers is in the raid suit, then it makes sense that he can't do anything here.

The alternatives to this is either: 1) He wants to die for some reason. 2) The emotion modifications causes all the brothers to just easily give up and not have the will to fight to the bitter end. Like, maybe Ichiji actually has the lasers, he just didn't feel it's worth trying. Or 3) Sanji's flashback of Ichiji's eye lasers is wrong, and Sparking Valkyrie is not actually eye lasers (then what is it?).

All of that are something else entirely, though, so I won't discuss it here.

Eyebrow flip

We know that Sanji's brows flip when his exoskeleton activate, but how do we know for sure that both his brows flip? We only assume it's that way because of Yonji and Niji's.

However, what sensei said in the SBS is that "all the brothers have 66 shaped eyebrows like Yonji, but Sanji's is the opposite" and "his eyebrows did change" when the power of science activated. He didn't say that "Sanji's eyebrows both flip into the 66 shape".

So, what if when the eyebrow flips, it actually looks like this?

I don't think we can definitively say it's not like this, because the manga art has not shown what his full face looks like when his brows flip. Nothing in the series also has ever indicated that this is impossible.

The point of me bringing that up is because sensei also never said the siblings brows can't flip.

There are some panels where you expect you should be able to see the curl in Ichiji's brow under the bangs, but it's not there. However on other panels, it's visibly there.

That first panel is a very dead obvious one. It's too big to be an error, since sensei actually bothered to draw the curl on the other brow that's almost covered by Sanji's fist. If this was a mistake, then sensei must be very sick or otherwise not feeling well that week, if he could miss something in such a glaringly visible place.

If this is not a mistake, then maybe his eyebrow actually can flip too.

This is related to the theory above where I mentioned maybe Ichiji's powers are also imperfect. This is of course just a lot of conjecture, and we need more canon info before I can speculate further.

The same theory has been made about Reiju (i.e her eyebrows either flip too, or facing opposite directions). However, Reiju's modification circumstances are different from the quadruplets, and the Reiju examples I've seen are not as blatantly visible like Ichiji's one here, so I won't speculate on her yet.

Niji and Yonji?

The problem with knowing specifically what is "wrong" with the brothers is the wide semantic domain of even a single kanji. 情 is generally understood to be "interpersonal feelings" like affection or sympathy. But because this is vague, it's very hard to tell what emotions they can or cannot feel.

They can feel "concern", and Niji and Yonji both have obvious unsettled looks at Big Mum's collection. Yonji was even stunned to silence. What's up with that?

Unlike Ichiji, they have not displayed indicators of something funny going on, so for the time being I assume that "concern/care for family members" is not part of the "情" that is missing from them.

As for their reaction towards Big Mum's books of living things... perhaps the intention is to say that Big Mum is a more cruel/horrible person than Germa.

This instance makes me think of a Japanese saying that goes "even the oni of hell would vomit" 地獄の鬼すら反吐吐く所業. It's a saying to describe something so unbelievably despicable. In Buddhism, the oni's duty is to torture the dead for their sins in life for eternity. You can only imagine how bad it has to be that even the cruel and merciless "oni" of hell would be disgusted to the point of vomiting.

Here, if even the "heartless" Vinsmokes are disturbed, then it's just that bad.

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ojbrush · 4 months

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hfjONE spoilers ahead !!! dont read if you havent really seen the show

heres a Link to the show if you are interested, its really good! and i reccommend watching it :3 and with that, allow me to ramble. Canonically, Airy views Liam as a friend. Being desensitized and isolated from communication with others for more than 13 years fucked up his perception of people, meaning he thinks of Liam's actions toward him as friendly, as that's basically all he's ever gotten since. Hostility. He views Liams hostility and yelling and aggressiveness and attempted murder on him as signs of friendship. He doesnt realize Liam doesnt like him whatsoever. He doesnt realize that that isnt what friends do. Friends don't try and kill you, friends dont attack you with only hatred just oozing out of every word they say, every action they take. But he doesnt realize that, and which results in him helping Liam even after his attempt at murdering the guy. Regardless of the way Liam treats him, he still helped Liam by giving him a cast for his broken leg, and giving him bedding.

Airy even gave this guy crutches as well, just like before when he broke his leg. Hes mentally unwell, hes apathetic and doesnt seem to care about most things from being isolated and desensitized to everything. Disassociating when Liam yells at him, derealizing CONSTANTLY. People in the fandom view him as a heartless monster whos deranged and only wants to spread pain and suffering, which is also LIAMS view on him. But thats not true.

(as Liam yells at him, he just stares blankly. No real reaction and movement during the time Liam's voice is raised. He finally responds once Liam says "end this, now." with a bunch of apparent hesitance.) Hes just a guy in a world where theres absolutely nobody but him, isolated from contact with other people, desensitized and forgetting who he even was before. He doesnt realize his actions are wrong, and he doesnt realize that when people are being hostile toward him, they do not like him. He does realizes people were scared, he said it himself. "Once they were on the planet, they all seemed pretty scared, so..." (as said in ONE 17: You move, I send.) He doesn't completely ignore peoples emotions, and tries to make it better for them. But he doesn't realize the way he's doing it is wrong. incorrect, a bad way to fix things. Besides, after creating ONE, the contestants were nothing BUT hostile toward him; so he doesn't know anything else. That's all h'es EVER known. Of course it is warranted, and he very much deserves the hostility. Kidnapping people and keeping them to compete in his gameshow against their wills, but he's more than that. What he did was wrong, insanely wrong, but he didn't know that. It doesn't excuse his actions, but it sure as hell explains them. Airy isn't an insane, deranged kidnapper. He's just a guy who's been isolated for too long, and doesn't understand the difference from right and wrong, and he doesn't understand basic human emotions other than his own. Lack of empathy, if you will.

It's just a sad case of isolation and a slowly deteriorating mental state in which results in the suffering of others due to someone (Airy, in this case) slowly becoming someone they dont even recognise themself.

After all, i bet this man doesn't even remember his own name. this was just a senseless ramble i am so incredbily unmotivated for art right now so take me and my insane rambles </3

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adracat · 1 year

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GWitch ep 19 thoughts

Every episode is a kick in the teeth with candy boots. A sweet misery you've known like no other. This episode was no different and I relished today's destruction as Mio and Prospera take center stage

That's a loaded statement if I've ever seen one. Really enjoyed this brief intro segment. We get Guel's thoughts on Kenanji; uninspired and suspicious, which are a vast change from his once admiration of the man. Guel also seems surprisingly chill about returning to Earth, but cryptically comments he wants to check the situation there and aid in negotiations. I like how Mio and him have fallen into this friendly rapport after everything. We'd like to see him apologize formally ofc, but it's not necessary for Mio. She's focused on greater concerns than the petty school days of Asticassia

Meanwhile, Suletta is a wreck. She's completely fallen apart after her mother and sister dumped her in space like hot garbo. She can't even plaster on a smile and lie to herself any longer. Earth House just thinks she's upset about the break up, so she isn't confiding in anyone at all. Suletta.exe has stopped working :(

Hilariously, Counselor Secilia has decided to make Martin her servant after listening to his confessional. It's great they make a distinct parallel to Miorine here, with Martin explaining he thought the best way to protect Earth House was to give up Nika. The show is filled with instances of people taking away another person's agency in the misguided belief they're doing 'what's best'. So good!

Real Elan finally gets more dialogue and he makes an excellent point, for once. The quickest and dirtiest way into Benerit's graces would be to forcefully suppress the earthian protests. A gundam, let alone one like Aerial, is a powerful statement of supremacy after all. Shaddiq is convinced Miorine would never allow it, and he's partly right. She wouldn't if she was the one truly calling the shots.

Feng is so cool for a spook. She successfully preys upon Belmeria's cowardice and gains her begrudging compliance. Really enjoyed the dynamic here at this little tea party. It was almost like a date 😳 Love me two older women with some tension. Is this the newest gwitch ship to take flight?

I love how Mio recognized these are peaceful protesters immediately. It's another instance of her demonstrating empathy on a greater level than she once did. Her initial ignorant comments about Earthians in cour 1 seem a distant memory, and much of it has to do with her exposure to Earth House. If not for them and Suletta, her pov would be just as narrow as every other spacian's.

And it's off to a terrible start lmao. I think Mio expected an uphill battle but those are some steep demands. A worldwide ban on spacians is unfeasible but absolutely warranted considering everything the spacians have done. Mio doesn't quite know how to counter, and it's so funny Guel left her here without help after previously saying he doesn't trust her diplomacy skills. I doubt he'd be much help tbh, but I guess he trusts her more than he said? Which is, uh, somewhat appreciated? It's the thought that counts.

Sad widow moment. Norea grieving Sophie's death and expressing her fear of death explicitly has been a long time coming. 5lan bearing witness as the floodgates open and she reveals they share this core dread? God this hit so good. You can't help but feel for these kids. Nika continues to watch on in bafflement as the drama unfolds. When is she gonna leave this level of purgatory?? Only Okouchi knows...

OMG, I AM SLAIN. Defeated. This sad husk of a girlboss misses her (ex) wife so much. Normal people would just have a wallet photo or a locket, but she's reduced to watching this goofy ass promo wistfully. I would find it hilarious if it wasn't so sad. It does give her the strength to continue negotiations so that's neat

More importantly, it reminds her of GUND's ideals and the people who've banded together because of that dream; Earth House. She cleverly points out that fulfilling their demands would also mean removing earthians from space, but she won't because they're her partners at GUND-ARM. Her showing them the medical achievements they've already made together was smart and tips the scales in her favor

I keep saying I love Mio but I really do. She's inspired to grasp the presidency for her own goals, rather than just as a tool for Prospera. She found a path of peace in spite of everything against her. It's bittersweet to know, in a kinder world, this would be the end of her struggles. But Prospera won't be satisfied with peace.

This shot was gold. Suletta raiding the fridge like an unwashed raccoon is perfect on so many levels. We finally get unbound Suletta too. Ugh she looks so good 😭

LOOK AT HER!! Babygirl. She looks like such a sad scruffy mutt here. I love it 🥹 Adored Earth House supporting her in her hour of need and giving her a boost with goat milk too. Really cements the rebirth imagery they had in the last episode.

Martin decides to slink home too and reveals everything going on with Nika. This bit from Lilique says it all. There are times when you are left with only so many options. While you may not choose the objectively best path, you can only pick what YOU feel is best. Miorine, Martin, Aerial. Even Delling and Prospera (Perhaps DoF and Shaddiq as well) It fits all the way across the cast.

I didn't expect to get the Shaddiq real name drop from this shakedown, but I'll take it. Kenanji may be a cop with blood on his hands, but he's a keen one. We learned that 'Prince' is a longstanding nickname and it implicates Shaddiq wholly in the terrorist attacks. 'Whoopsie, all my nefarious plans undone by one kid's rambling!'

(I also think the implication was Shaddiq or Jeru Ogul rather, is the 'heir apparent' to Ochs Earth virtue of his dead family. Not entirely certain tbh)

Looks like Guel will be Asticassia bound next episode along with Kenanji. No idea why Kenanji had to tag along but I guess Mio has enough of an escort. Let's hope this detour leads to Suletta using the Schwarzette! Fingers crossed

You saw it here, everybody. Prospera shot first! I'll admit I didn't fully expect her to go this route but it makes sense. I anticipated her gaining Mio support somehow, but she just cut the BS and said let's do this dirty. Controlling Earthian artillery to mask her intentions and provide an excuse is devious and brilliant

Destroying DoF's secret stache of gundams even more so. She really cut Shaddiq's plan for a cold war at the knees and Guel/Kenanji are on track to expose his duplicity entirely. He'll be lucky to not be jailed let alone president of anything. It's amazing that everything works out for Prospera no matter how many risks she takes or gambles made. Lady Luck must love her nonsense as much as the audience

Cut back to Bel and Feng, their date did not end as well as I hoped. While Bel spilled some details about Quiet Zero, Prospera's second hunts her down and interrupts this powow. Can't risk QZ leaking to the corpo spooks after all. We did learn that SAL is not as unified or well intentioned as we might have thought. Their high council was revealed to be backing Ochs Earth of all corps. Feng seemed to be an outlier in yet another shady corpo-controlled faction. I'll miss her, but maybe she somehow escaped this dire situation? I won't hold my breath. RIP Feng, you were a real one!

Elan Prime seems so smug to be right, even if it means their horse in this race has some real competition. He really is a little shit just like 5lan. That MS shot though. Damn evocative. War journalists eat your heart out. It's visual reference too, I believe?

This is the funniest thing he could've said. Shaddiq is malding just like a pathetic incel. Remember when everyone thought he pulled mad game because he's surrounded by women? But the sad reality is he's the most maidenless person in the solar system. The best outcome tbh.

Beyond the laughs, this line speaks so much about how he views Miorine. He views her little better than a prize only he's deserving of; a 'pure' princess to match his crusading prince. He repeatedly disregards her agency, seen in episode 9 when he acts like Suletta controls Mio and here when he blames Guel for what's happening on Earth. He's such a salty little worm.

Finally, we're left with Suletta and Earth House as they react to the chaos. Suletta recognizes instantly Miorine's innocence and her mother's culpability. This was why Aerial sent her away. This was what everyone is trying to shield her from. It was a moment of clarity I hadn't expected, but a very welcome one. Hopefully, this means she'll be spurred into action now that Mio is in very real danger. Schwarzette time? We can dream~

That next episode is incredibly ominous though. End of Hope? Considering they have that promo where GUND-ARM/earth house are the ray of hope... yikes. Let's hope I'm just reading into things and it's not that grim

Edit* additional musings:

A segment was deleted somehow so here it is

Miorine... You know, I've seen people having a bit of schadenfreude at her expense. 'she's so stupid, ofc this happened!' - that flavor of criticism. My counter to this is what could she have realistically done? She was strong-armed into this agreement and manipulated onto Earth. She dared to imagine a peaceful solution based on ideals she slowly grew to believe wholeheartedly. This isn't her fault, much as she thinks otherwise. I can see her willfully remaining on earth to try and correct this atrocity. Girl needs a big hug from her wife ;-;

#g witch #g witch spoilers #miorine rembran #prospera mercury #suletta mercury #guel jeturk #shaddiq zenelli #elan ceres #elan 5 #norea du noc #gundam witch from mercury #gundam #thank you for the kick in the teeth

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multiversal-pudding · 1 year

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Just. Thinking about Uzi as like. To me, Uzi always struck me as “the person who cares a ton in a world that just doesn’t, and has become bitter and angry at seeing other people not share that same level of care”

Like- on several levels Uzi’s shown herself to be a really caring person despite her angsty and angry demeanor-

her desire to build the railgun, especially in context of her ultimately turning around on N and helping/befriending him, feels like her motive (as well as finally getting respect and being something other than the weirdo loner/Khan’s disappointment daughter) is ultimately “I want to go actually help people instead of just letting the world out there burn”

Her and N stepping in to save the others, stepping in to save Thad, hell, the first thing she yells on entering prom is “UNHAND THEM YOU FIEND”, which. Very overdramatic nerd of her, but it also suggests on some level at least saving the others *was* actively on the forefront of her mind (even if it might be at least partly in a “wanting to look cool” way)

The fact that she got so attached to the Murder Drones, sympathizing with their needing to drink oil (even before that became direct empathy) and deciding it’s best if they work together

Hell- she might’ve had the comical underreaction statement of “I’m gross and eating people” when N was talking to her, but like that’s more than Braiden reacted when he killed someone, plus part of it was the fact she was talking to N- like. He’s done a lot of murder. Like. So much. (More headcanony but like. Maybe part of why she focused on her fears of him leaving her was that on some level she recognized that focusing on her horror over the murder might’ve unintentionally hurt him again? (I know I’ve had times where the main thing I thought about while actively having a meltdown was “but what if this is getting in the way?!”-))

Even in terms of personal relationships, it really does feel like once anyone gets over that initial wall, she gets attached to people very fast- she’s already getting open and vulnerable with N, and like someone else pointed out, her insult at V felt half-assed- Heck, after getting a brief window of clarity from her feral rage in ep 4, her first response to V moving in for the kill/the worst pain she’s probably ever felt is just to beg to see her friend…

Like- this isn’t to say she’s necessarily Nice- I think she should be allowed to be rough around the edges, she’s bitey and bitter, and honestly with how people treat her it might be warranted? Emily was the cross gesture REALLY necessary-

But also- I think that a major part of her is just. She’s defined by passion, be it for her projects or for her interactions with others. She’s a person who hasn’t gotten enough attention and has started to lash out and instinctively push people away first, but like. She’s got a lot of love in her I think, a lot of love that’s had nowhere to go in a way it’d be reciprocated for a long time… (also Ep 1 might’ve given her/reenforced some abandonment issues tm which. Fun)

#Murder drones #murder drones Uzi #uzi murder drones #uzi doorman #listen I just. I love this edgy little nerd ok??#I’m giving her affectionate little headpats and petting the mouthtail

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alagaesia-headcanons · 1 year

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I genuinely love Eragon, I think he's a good person, but his attitude towards Murtagh specifically has this distinct, almost cold lack of empathy. And it's strange he feels like that in this particular situation because Murtagh's fate- his capture, his torture, his dragon used like a hostage, their enslavement- that exact fate in its entirety is bearing down on Eragon through the whole story. Because that's exactly what would happen to Eragon if he's ever captured. That fate is snapping at his heels; it gets close enough to draw blood. Yet Eragon tends to act like he's above Murtagh's situation. He looks on it with pity, but also disgust, all with an air of distance and separation. There's never a horrified realization that this is what's waiting for him if Galbatorix captures him.

For that reason, I think Eragon's lack of empathy for Murtagh stems in part from a rather desperate optimism. He refrains from considering the worst possibilities to avoid despair over what he can't control. But that leads to this jarring disregard for the suffering of a man he is irrevocably connected to. Murtagh is a mirror of Eragon, reflecting what would become of him if the king ever gets his hands on him. Eragon is not above this; he is, in fact, so terrifyingly vulnerable to it. Even as he fails to imagine himself in Murtagh's place and understand him in that way, Eragon is the one most likely to end up in that place.

That alone should warrant empathy, but Murtagh is more than just a mirror. Eragon's luck has not held out, he has not been fortunate enough to outright avoid what Murtagh fell victim to, and the singular reason he's been spared that fate is Murtagh himself. Three times. Once outside of Dras Leona when he rescues him from the Ra'zac, again in Gil'ead when he'd been captured by Durza, and a third time on the Burning Plains when he lets him go despite his orders. Murtagh saves Eragon from capture, torture, and enslavement under Galbatorix and he does it over and over. Murtagh simultaneously exemplifies the worst fate Eragon could suffer while singlehandedly protecting him from it. And Eragon never once acknowledges it.

#AU- on the burning plains when Eragon says 'You have become your father' Murtagh replies 'Not my father. I have become YOU.'#'I am what you'd be if I hadn't been there to save you. Like you weren't there to save me.'#anyway #eragon #inheritance cycle #ic analysis #murtagh #eragon shadeslayer #seriously how does my boy think so poorly of murtagh considering everything?#iirc theres a couple moments where eragon does consider murtaghs perspective regarding his upbringing in uru'baen #and he does empathize with that situation #but thats such a moot point by then and its importance utterly pales in comparison to that of murtaghs current enslavement

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sluttylittlewaste · 19 days

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I will admit I was wrong lol. I was going for the whole "nuance and empathy" angle, but Kipperlily truly is just an awful little wretch in the most upper-middle-class white girl kind of way (I saw someone say Swiftie coded and just yesssss). I still don't think the levels of vitriol being directed at her are entirely warranted (since she is still a child who may have died and been brought back extra evil by a malevolent deity), but y'all were right - she does just suck.

#I still want to hold out hope for Oisin but that's looking bleak #especially with him and Ivy being the one's to suggest the name change #It is nice that the Ratgrinders are actually friends though #I love the idea that they do truly care about each other #and the idea of Kipperlily and Lucy being besties is so sweet #and so sad #I love a mean girl/sweet girl friendship dynamic #if i die #let me die #d20 fhjy #fhjy #dimension 20 #kipperlilly copperkettle #the ratgrinders

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misfithive · 8 months

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Thank you for the way you handled that ask about Wille's and Simon's drama. Because that sentence 'On the other hand, Simon needs to have a bit of more drama thrown at him' made me so furious. It was so insensitive! The fact that he suffers in silence and alone in his room not to bother other people doesn't mean he doesn't suffer enough and needs some more! The fact that he didn't jump on the table or say he feels like dying doesn't make his experience any less traumatic than Wille's. What he needs is to process his trauma rather than brushing it aside, not to get some more.

Once again thank you, you put it all beautifully.

Yes 😭 this is a very common hope for Simon to get pushed to the point of a breakdown but it’s like .. at what cost?😩 He has been thru enough trauma for a lifetime and a half. And the thing is, most people cannot actually stop and process the trauma if they are constantly being hit with more. I think we are more likely to get simon opening up if he is able to find safety which he did not really have. he is expected to be the strong one by everyone in his life. His friends try their best but still, telling him to rebound is the same message him mother gives him of “you are strong”. Bc they dont want him to sit with his feelings and cry (it’s uncomfortable and not the norm for them), they want him to forget about the Prince and move on. Up until s3 he has not had someone to cry to- thats why he writes his songs and holds wille’s sweater. Even when he is talking to Rosh and Ayub in the kitchen if he was actually crying to them i feel they would show it- it appears he probably cried on the way home before they came (this is my hc if yall think he cried to them u can believe that if u want)

i think Simon’s character is very accurate to what a lot of men, people socialized as men, and also people of color experience and how we deal with our emotions. I get that for a lot of people it is cathartic to sob but for many of us, crying like that especially in front of someone else is terrifying. we are conditioned that letting other people see u in that vulnerable state is a weakness (puts you in danger or will be used against you & that anger is safer). I know some men who have not cried since they were children and told me they dont even remember what it feels like to cry or how to actually let the tears fall from their eyes. It is messed up. Is that fair? No. Is it true that it is a weakness? No. But not everyone learns that. The patriarchy sucks and harms us all lol i wish people would understand that and have empathy for the deep sadness that simon is carrying and hiding whether he lets it out or not.

Not to mention everyone deals with their trauma differently and i think it is cool that the show is realistic and shows people dealing with things in different ways. Simons character is relatable bc of this and instead of people saying “it’s not fair that Wille gets to express himself in this way and Simon doesn’t” i want people to think about WHY Simon is not be able to. I know wanting simon to cry comes from a good place but it does upset me a little bit bc even if he doesnt have a breakdown s3, that doesnt mean that the writers hate him and arent doing his story justice which is what people say abt s2. At the same time, if he does have a break down, that would be totally warranted. i'm just saying that if it doesn't happen that's valid too.

THAT BEING SAID. I think s3 is a great opportunity for Simon to hear from Wille that he doesnt always have to be strong and that Wille can be a reliable safe space. I think Wille’s tenderness is something that Simon sees and now that they are on good terms and Wille has worked to rebuild the trust, I hope Simon will turn to Wille for emotional support however that looks.

Ermmmn I’m very sorry that this turned into a dump but i had to get it off my chest.(made a few edits for clarity and spelling mistakes bc i posted this in the middle of the night)

#misfit answers asks #young royals #this is not targeted at the first anon i just see it a lot and have a lot to say on the topic #simon eriksson

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utilitycaster · 10 months

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The wildest part about people being mad on Imogen's behalf is Imogen herself understood Keyleth's position in spite of her own wishful thinking, helps acquire the blue flowers for her, was the first to acknowledge the Changebringer's help, and the first to say "I'm sorry" to Orym losing more of his people. I'm really baffled to read these "Orym is manipulative" takes and that it was dangerous of Keyleth to validate his anger. Do you think it goes back to the god stuff, or is it just Imodna?

I think a little of column A, little of column B, little of several other things. Since I've been on the "hey could we consider that Imogen and Laudna are adult women who are responsible for their own actions" train for over a year, the specific "Imogen can be mean-spirited as well as unintentionally insensitive" train since at least this past February, and the "Orym is correct and Bor'Dor signed his own death warrant by casting Vitriolic Sphere at a group of people who were not violent towards him" train for a month, let's break it down.

There are a small handful of people in the fandom who just really hate Liam. Per a very salty rant I put into my drafts shortly after 3x63 to describe this type of person, it is a small, scattered, bizarre group of people who for no apparent reason have decided to be foaming-at-the-mouth levels of furious because, as far as I can tell, a nerdy Gen X-er dad who went to Tisch is kind of corny sometimes. Anyway nothing he does will ever sit well with them so we can ignore them forever. Moving on.

Some is Imodna; I thought the whole issue of Imogen and Laudna as agency-less infants against a cruel world would have been ameliorated by them entering a canon relationship (one currently compatible with the 2013 Pinterest board vibes of fanon no less) but it appears to have not been the case. For more on this, see this still relevant post and, while I personally haven't ever written something up, there's just, again, a complete black hole of empathy from a segment of the fandom when it comes to any of the other characters; my post from this morning about Imogen as compared to Caleb touches upon it. You know the Far Side cartoon where a guy is talking to his dog and the dog only recognizes a small handful of words? I feel this is similar, like, they see that Imogen wanted one thing and Orym and Keyleth wanted another thing that wasn't even, as you point out, terribly incompatible, and then the "well if not thing Imogen wants and not 100% deferential to her then BAD BAD BAD" attitude kicked in.

But I do think, in the end, a lot of it does come back to if not the gods exactly, the idea that the Vanguard is, unmistakably, the enemy. They are not the revolution here to usher in a new era of rule by the people. Keyleth is not here to raze Vasselheim to the ground but to have a diplomatic discussion; neither is she here to grant any leniency to the woman who attacked Vax regardless of her connection to Imogen. And she finds the idea of a world without the gods, regardless of her own personal feelings, to be one to be avoided. [sidebar: I hope we get Matt on 4SD; I am wondering, after the one-two-three punch of Hevestro, the Raven Queen, and Keyleth all placing a heavy thumb on the scale opposing the Vanguard if he did not expect the party to be as conflicted about the role of the gods and is trying to wind up an argument that I think as of last episode reached the end of its useful life.] When you couple that with Orym's positive attitude towards the gods, that explains the animosity towards him.

The undermining of Orym's position over the past few episodes has always been one of emotion. First he was not objective - as if anyone else was objective! As if any moral decision is ever 100% objective! We all have biases! What kind of early 2000s atheist forum shit are you on to claim perfect rationality that conveniently matches the ideas that apparently came to you in a godless vision? It's insane. Then it was his grief; grief makes you irrational (unless you're Imogen grieving Laudna, in which case you are objectively right at all times, even as you shout down every other suggestion, beseech Laudna's first murderer, not a month later consider the potential validity of the her second, and try to to undo her immutable past) and remember, moral decisions must be made by the rational. Then it was his impatience (nevermind that Imogen has absolutely no patience). And now it's his anger, and he's apparently been manipulating the party the whole time by...having suggestions for the group which he mentions, and openly stating what he was feeling and what he wanted, and not intuiting that Laudna reawoke Delilah with his approximately no magical ability and then encouraging her to finish a job she had started herself. Because god Rational Objective Conceptual Being forbid women do anything; it is the role of the man to protect their fragile souls from all consequences.

Even more generally I think a lot of people- not just in this fandom, though certainly within this fandom - are terrified of anger. Like, they think they like it - they say they love barbarians (though rage is its own beast and I think very different from the anger Orym and Keyleth exhibit) but most of the discussion of them tends to veer more into angst, and most players of barbarians are often exploring emotions like grief, self-pity (as Ashton says), or frustration just as much if not more so than anger. I think a lot of people perceive anger as this awful thing inside them to be controlled and denied, or alternately to only be let out for whatever they think is a sufficiently righteous cause, and instead sit in an increasingly toxic stew of simmering resentment and conflict avoidance until they begin to think this is not just normal but aspirational - anything but that awful beast they call anger. It's not new in discussions of Keyleth, and it's not limited to her and Orym; I can point to nearly every single character who has had even the slightest of outbursts - even something as mild and controlled as Orym's whispered profanity or less - and I promise you there's been pearl-clutching for every single one of them.

Anyway, you make great points! One of the things that struck me about this episode and prompted my frustration and my post earlier today is that Imogen has changed. I think she's been mulling over Liliana since her appeals to her during the Key's activation were unsuccessful; she hesitantly told Chetney when he asked in Uthodurn that yes, if Liliana's death is necessary, she understands; and I think seeing the utter devastation and pain that was inflicted on Keyleth brought it into focus. She was much more open to FCG and the coin as well. And, you know, if one had embraced Imogen's moral ambiguity in the leadup to the solstice, and the possibility that she could betray the party, instead of shouting that down? Then one could see this as a beautiful moment of growth for Imogen. One could, in fact, if one was so inclined, attribute it to her new sense of ease thanks to her circlet, or even to her nascent romantic relationship. If one, of course, had wholeheartedly embraced Imogen's past moral ambiguity and the possibility of her betrayal.

#answered #Anonymous #critical role spoilers #critical role #long post

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insaniquariumfish · 8 months

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Suffering is the one subject where the more personal experience you have and the more qualified you are to speak on it, the less seriously people take you. "You're only an antinatalist because you've had a miserable life surrounded by miserable people!" Um, yeah. That's exactly right. How exactly does my being intimately aware of how horrible suffering can be and how severely it can impact people make my perspective on it less legitimate? Would you tell a disabled person, or somone who worked with disabled people, who was advocating for better community support for disabled people, that their views were irrationally skewed because they themselves were disabled, or because they were too involved with others who were disabled? Would you tell someone who was critical of capitalism, because of all of the poverty they've witnessed as a result of it, that they're too biased by their concern for the poor to have a reasonable take on the issue? Would you tell someone who went through the foster care system, and felt that we should improve it, that they only felt that way because they personally were a victim of it, implying that their victimhood did not itself constitute legitimate evidence towards the foster care system's failures?

"You only think the way you do about X because you're a personal victim of X/you've witnessed so much harm caused by X, and your thoughts on X are therefore invalid" is the most blatantly unempathetic and moronic take possible on anything, but this is the exact "argument" I get from people whenever the X in question is suffering itself. It's the same "argument" that is used to shut down criticism of ideologies ("you only hate religion because it harmed you and/or other people"), political beliefs ("you only disagree with X policy because it harms you and/or other people"), and unjust systems of all kinds ("you only want things to be different because the status quo harms you and/or other people"). Like, yeah, you're right, I do only have the perspective I do because harm is being caused and harm is wrong and bad. That's called having empathy. If I can go through something so awful that it makes my life not worth living, then I don't even need to see firsthand how others might suffer, I just know already that other people can suffer that much, because I am human and other people are human, too, and that knowledge would be enough to go off of on its own. But I'm not just relying on my personal experience, I'm also taking into account the suffering I have seen others endure, both firsthand and indirectly, and again it's called having empathy. I understand that other people's pain is just as significant as, and is equally as unjust as, my own pain. Every person who endures decades of torment is just as much a victim as I would be if I went through the same thing. They are just as underserving of their fates as I would be if I were them.

I truly think that the thing that separates antinatalists from pronatalists at the end of the day is their capacity for empathy. Even pronatalists who are dedicated to making the world a better place are unwilling to earnestly acknowledge how wretched the world they are trying to improve really is, and the true human cost of that wretchedness being perpetuated, even if only indirectly. They see nothing wrong with new people being subjected to the very evils they have dedicated themselves to fighting. And they see nothing wrong with saddling their own children with the burden of at once being victim to, and participating in, that battle. They whine and rant about how awful the things they and others are subjected to are, they are profusely vocal about the horrors and evils that they have dedicated themselves to exposing and combating, and yet, in their minds, even the most vile manifestations of those evils are not so evil that they warrant preventing others from being able to fall victim to them in the first place. In their minds, there simply is no amount of suffering so severe, or kind of suffering so heinous, that it is not excused or justified or balanced out when the scale is zoomed out and it is considered as part of the larger whole. Life is hell, they'll say, right up until you insist that hell is no place for a child, and then, suddenly, life is a gift. Their empathy, no matter how fervent it may seem, is ultimately shallow and superficial, easily overpowered by their desire to deny the true horror and weight of suffering.

#random thoughts #rant #ramble #rambling #vent #antinatalism #natalism #hot take #unpopular opinion #radblr

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vallanoux · 3 months

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𝐩𝐮𝐥𝐜𝐡𝐫𝐚 𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐠𝐨𝐞𝐝𝐢𝐚. - 𝐀𝐂𝐓 𝟏, 𝐒𝐂𝐄𝐍𝐄 𝟐

ps: here's chapter two of pulchra tragoedia <3 and no, i have no clear updating schedule :'>

A burst of magic surrounds both Lucifer and (name), enveloping them up and teleporting elsewhere. Back to Lucifer’s castle. The young woman��s eyes, now demon––or whatever she was––trailed around the vicinity, hungrily taking in every detail of the castle and jotting them down in her memory.

The castle was dark, and had endless dimly lit hallways. It wasn’t musty by any means, and rather, surprisingly clean, but the cleanliness of the hallways did nothing for the somewhat gloomy aura that weighed in the air. It gnawed on the mind’s of visitors. Present, but never truly there. An itch in the back of one’s mind was the way most would name it.

Lining down the hallways were portraits of Lucifer and his family, all having wide smiles on their faces. Smiling faces. Of Lucifer, of Lilith and of a young Charlie. They were portals of nostalgia, opening a memory long since forgotten––by time, or by choice, one will never know.

It was obvious to (name) that Lucifer chose to ignore these portraits. He keeps his eyes straight on without stealing a glance at any of them, except, say for a couple of portraits of him and Charlie. He couldn’t bring himself to even look at a portrait of Lilith. (name) pursed her lips slightly, knowing that his attention wasn't locked on her. He wouldn’t notice the abundance of empathy swelled in her chest as she looked at him. A man, more broken than he’d ever been and desperately trying to hide it. To cope and coexist against the losing battle of sadness.

To a mere bystander, Lucifer would have looked mildly troubled, but to the discerning eye, he was no better than a well-dressed husk of himself. It almost made (name) feel bad that she was putting up a front to fool him into helping her. Almost.

(name) decided to break the silence, chasing away the negativity that was encroaching on the air, “sorry, but what’s your name? I didn’t quite catch it.”

“Oh, that! Yes, that!” Lucifer loudly exclaims with a slight nervous trickle. “Lucifer. Lucifer Morningstar.”

“So.. the fallen one?” (name) questioned, hoping for more from him. It was all information that she herself already knew, but there was no harm in getting Lucifer to open up more. To feel safer and more comfortable.

“The one and only head of Hell.” He continues, he pauses and looks (name) in the eye, purposefully activating his powers to give a little scare with his glowing red eyes. “Are you scared yet?”

(name) held his gaze with slight hesitation, then answered him with an honest question. “Should I be? I’m not significant enough to warrant that sort of treatment from you.”

“You don’t seem to realize the scent of god on you. You have divinity.” He pauses and looks at (name). “Wait, you don’t know?”

I have the scent of god on me? Does that have to do with the reason why I’m here? Just as that crazy ass stalker jumped on me and stabbed me, I immediately blacked out. Right before I wished for… Wait, what did I wish for? I can’t remember- No, no, I shouldn’t be thinking about that right now. I can do that later.

“N- No?” She was visibly confused. “I have the scent of god on me? What does that mean? I don’t feel any different from when I… died.”

“Then, how did you die?” Lucifer questions. His face then quickly forms into one of panic. “Oh, that was very insensitive of me! My bad. I really didn’t mean to. I just wanted to know if there was a correlation between you know, the divinity and your a um.. passing–”

“-No, it’s fine.” (name) reassures him. “I was stabbed to death.”

“Stabbed?” His eyes widened, his curiosity getting the better of him. “Why..?”

“I was a Broadway talent. I sang musicals and I guess.. Some people just got really crazy over me.” (name) was careful not to put any emphasis on acting or faking her emotions for a stage. A Broadway talent, a singer, a dancer, radio or podcast personalities––they were nothing more than professionally paid liars. Liars that sold stories. The entertainment industry was nothing but falsified humanity.

“Jeez, that’s a terrible way to go. And how old were you?” Lucifer couldn’t help but ask again, fully losing the battle to his curiosity.

“I was 28 when that happened.” (name) smoothly answered.

Lucifer put his hand behind his neck and focussed his gaze downward. It takes him a while before he musters up his next question, “did you leave anyone behind?”

“No, I didn’t. I don’t have a family or any close friends. That’s the… only thing I’m glad about since I, at least, didn't make anyone too sad.”

“I thought humans already had families by then. Don’t you all get married at 13 or something..?” He wasn’t sure how to respond to my previous statement, so he attempts to make a change of topic.

“Huh? No! Well, not as commonly as back then.” (name) holds her hands up and shakes her head. “That happened way back when.. Like a couple of centuries ago.”

“Really? I haven’t been keeping up with much. Not with hell, not with humans or..” He mumbles the last bit to himself, “anything, really... Times have changed, haven't they?”

“It’s not like you have to.” She shrugs.

Lucifer nods his head, and finally picks up the pace. He walks further down the hallway and points to a tall, elegant wooden door to his left with his cute apple staff. “This will be your room. Mine is right down the hallway if you need anything… wait.”

His eyes widen and he places his hands on the sides of his hat, pulling it down to hide the shame crawling up on his cheeks, “I didn’t even ask for your name! Oh no..! I’m so sorry, I’m not accustomed to uh-”

“-It’s alright, I understand. My name’s (name) (surname). Just call me (name). What should I call you? Your majesty?” The young woman notices herself smiling at his panicked display, finding it extremely cute and endearing.

Lucifer lets go of his hat and he looks at me with bright, big owl-like eyes. He had a reassuring grin crawl up his reddened cheeks flushed with embarrassment. “No, Lucifer’s fine!”

“Alright then, Lucifer it is.”

(name) keeps her smile and pushes the door to her guest bedroom open. It was a nice cozy room, shaped like a square. The wall right opposite of where (name) stood was of a large window, overlooking the buzzing lights of Pentagram City. And, on the left side of the room was a bed. It was a cozy king-sized bed draped in white sheets layered with a (f/c) comforter and a thick (f/c) blanket. A nice bolster was placed in the center of the bed, with two pillows sandwiching its sides. It looked like a very cozy bed covered, especially with its silken drapes.

(name) finally takes a step into the room, amazed at such classy luxury. She shifts her attention onto the wall beside the bed, empty and undecorated. It was a space (name) could decorate however she wished, if she ever found herself coming into possession of anything.

“Oh my goodness… thank you Lucifer!” (name) turns around and beams brightly at the King of Hell, who returns a soft expression as he holds his staff close to his chest. Lucifer internally gives himself a pat on the back for doing at least one thing right.

“It’s no problem, really,” he says with such a genuine tone it makes the broadway talent’s heart turn all mushy gushy.

“And I can decorate this place, right?”

“Of course.” He nods. He looks back down the hallway where we had come from. “Since now you know where your room is, would you like a tour of the palace?”

“Oh, sure.” (name) steps out of her room, closes the door and she reigns in her own excitement. As a fan of the series, she’d always wondered what the castle Lucifer and Charlie lived in looked like.

The castle was absurdly massive. Without Lucifer’s teleportation magic, (name) was sure the tour would’ve taken an entire day, or longer. From the gardens, the terrarium, the quaint little aquarium room, observatory, the library and the drawing rooms, it was all so wonderful and grand. Though, one thing she noticed throughout the tour was an absence of servants. Not one imp was spotted in sight.

“Lucifer, since you’re the King of Hell, wouldn’t you have.. Servants? I don’t mind you giving me a personal tour, and rather, really appreciate it.. But couldn’t you have anyone else to bring me around?”

Lucifer looks at me with an unnamable expression. It looked slightly troubled, “My… ah- uh, ex wife..? She took them all… wherever she went.”

(name) was quick to figure that she shouldn’t dig in too deep into this and switches the topic, “so you manage this place all by yourself? That’s amazing!”

“I try.” He graces me with a graceful expression as he fiddles with the apple on his staff. “Ah, we’re here. This is my room if you need anything. See? It’s not too far from yours if you need anything. Just let me know, alright?”

“Then, if that’s all for the night, should I go back to my own room?” The (h/c)-haired woman questions.

“Feel free! You can stay here for as long as you want (name)...” Lucifer’s words trailed off. His once excitable expression turns downcast. “It gets a little lonely here.”

Internally, (name) had vicious delight crawling into her conscience. Lucifer truly was such an easy person to make use of. So easy to fool and manipulate. Easy to- She stops herself from thinking more like that. And rather, stills her mind as a prickled thorn of regret and guilt pierces her heart. Don’t find it funny. Don’t hurt him too much. You’re doing this to survive. Not for fun.

She pauses and thinks. Then, she finds the perfect words to say. Simple and concise, but with much meaning: “I’ll stay.”

“Thanks.” Lucifer’s expression softened up so much more (name) really felt the need to pounce on him and squish his cheeks.

He reaches for his doorknob, and the moment he opens it, a rush of rubber duckies fall out of his room and onto him, burying him under a pile of yellow. At the King of Hell’s misfortune, (name) burst out in laughter. Lucifer lets out a groan of annoyance.

She quickly wipes her tear away and offers a hand, “need help?”

Lucifer grabs her hand and (name) hoists him up, “Thanks.”

His cheeks were completely flushed in a burning, crimson red. He was utterly embarrassed, “I- I swear I’m not a hoarder. These ducks are um-”

“-You don’t have to be so nervous around me, really, I don’t judge. If you like ducks, then you like ‘em. There isn’t much to it.” She assures him by patting his shoulder. “But make sure they just don’t end up as um.. A hazard.”

“Yeah, got it.” He snaps his fingers and the ducks disappear. “I’ll see you tomorrow? Since it’s late.”

“Yeah, tomorrow.” (name) waved him goodbye and walked back to her bedroom.

When (name) walks into her room, she closes the door, locks it and leans her back against it. She slumps onto the floor and buries her head in her hands once more. She could feel an oncoming headache seize hold on her temples, absurdly tired from the day. While it wasn’t a bad day by any dictionary definition, it was filled with all sorts of confusion and information her brain had to understand and cram in. By habit, she runs her hands through her hair and pulls at it, the sensation arising from her actions bringing a wave of calmness to her due to its familiarity. It was one of her many coping mechanisms.

Then, (name) jolts, feeling some form of fluffy protrusion on her head and she gasps. She rushed to the closest mirror she could find, which was in the bathroom. Her eyes widened. Out of shock, or horror, (name) didn’t know nor did she care.

All she could stare at were the big bat ears that were perked up in shock on her head. At first, the woman lets out a nervous, disbelieving chuckle. Her hands reach to her ears, tugging at them to see if she was simply hallucinating from exhaustion.

She wasn’t.

(name) breathes in and out, her heart feeling as if it were going to explode from its own beating. She finds herself grinning wildly, trying to reassure herself that everything was fine––after all, wasn’t she? Wasn’t it normal to turn into a non-human demon in Hazbin Hotel after dying? Isn’t this normal? Calm down! This is NOTHING-

Her efforts at calming herself down proved to be fruitless. So, (name) screams.

And Lucifer, after hearing her (name)’s scream, bless his heart, came rushing right in.

6.5 pages

2,224 words

status: edited

Notes:

woah, i did not expect to publish this chapter so soon! but i guess i'm really motivated rn :> a lot of the earlier chapters will really be lucy-centric, so all you alastor lovers will have to wait

there will be helluva boss x hazbin hotel crossovers here <3

#hazbin x reader #hazbin hotel #lucifer magne x reader #lucifer morningstar x reader #lucifer magne #alastor x reader x lucifer #alastor x reader #alastor #radio demon #alastor hazbin hotel #lucifer morningstar

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