#do i have alters?

[reddoesthingsfinally]

Question. We hallucinate. Since Storm started opening up more to the idea that we're a system and started treating us as more than imaginary friends (and since we've started taking full control more often), the hallucinations for all of us have lowered down a LOT. We used to hallucinate multiple times daily, but we've only hallucinated about 3 times total this week, 2 of which were at a late hour and with someone more prone to hallucinating fronting. The voices Storm heard have cut down to practically nothing. Is this normal?

-Red

Or is everyone just a really intense hallucination?

-Storm, who is needlessly freaking out about faking yet again -_-

#questioning system #am i a system? #do i have alters? #hallucinations #hallucination tw #tw hallucinations #am i faking it?

[chaikachi]

The italicized "oh." of it all 😭

Blake's Version

#rwby #bumbleby #yang xiao long #blake belladonna #bees #rwby v9 #rwby spoilers #rwby v9 spoilers #screencap redraw #screen cap redraw #fanart #fan art #would like to do blake as well but i gotta touch grass first #that episode altered my brain chemistry #and if this is how i handle the bees i don't have a clue how i'm supposed to handle the rg reunion #rwby fanart

[thimbleb3rries]

This show gives me so much to think about omggggg

Kuro Neko....... 😃cat walker.....

I drew him with his hair loose for two of the doodles because it gave me trouble when it was tied back shhhhh

Also??? The weird little stray pieces of hair that just kinda float around where his hair parts??? I had to simplify them, I couldn't figure them out 😭

#i know messing with his hairstyle alters the symbolism just a tad but 😃 #it was a lot more fun to draw it this way #miraculous ladybug #miraculous ladybug fanart #ml kuro neko #cat walker #chat noir #adrien agreste #i love him so much #i honestly just love drawing the cats of the show #they are all so fun #I have a lot more art i want to do! #with like. meaning and feelings and stuff #but id have to use my brain for that 🧍 #my art <3

[originalartblog]

Do you understand how much Dazai dancing means to me

#it's a skill!! learned!! practised!! it doesn't have any meaningful use!! he's moving!! having fun!! enjoying himself!!! #dazai knowing how to dance is a dear concept/headcanon to me and the last episode fed me GOOD it altered my brain chemistry #i haven't been the same since #the first one is my favourite btw #bsd #bungo stray dogs #bungou stray dogs #bsd fanart #bsd dazai #bsd dazai osamu #nawy's art #in theory i referenced some waltz painting and illustrations but i don't know what i'm doing so if his form isn't good don't look at me #he's having fun #drawing dancing is so hard y'all

[uncanny-tranny]

I think it would really benefit people to internalize that mental illnesses are often chronic and not acute. Some of us will never be able to jump the hurdle of managing illness, much less sustaining a sense of normalcy. Many of us will never "recover," will never manage symptoms, will never even come close to appearing normal - and this is for any condition, even the ones labeled as "simple" disorders or "easy-to-manage" disorders.

It isn't a failure if you cannot manage your symptoms. It isn't a moral failure, and you aren't an awful person. You are human. There's only so much you can do before recognizing that you cannot lift the world. Give yourself the space to be ill because, functionally, you are.

#mental health #mental health advocacy #like... anxiety and depression are often concieved of as simple and easy to manage... #...but that isn't the case for so many of us. anxiety and depression just have a lot more research invested into them... #...and while i wish this were the case for literally every other condition it does alter people's perception of you to some extent... #...so while this is NOT solely about anxiety or depression it includes us... #...my anxiety and depression and PTSD have *destroyed* my life. this is chronic and will probably be life-long... #...and that isn't my fault. i've done the fucking work but guess what? that doesn't account for the fact that I Am Just ILL #the least we can do for each other is to be compassionate #be compassionate to those who cannot heal. be compassionate to the people who can't manage their lives. this world is scary enough #recognize that management of symptoms is something not all of us can do - even IF their condition is labeled as 'easy to manage' #i allowed myself to feel angry that i can't heal 'normally' and that was unfair as fuck toward myself #and i NEED people to internalize this so that MAYBE this could help somebody else who is where i was #i NEED them to understand that it's okay that they are where they are - sometimes shit just doesn't turn out how you expect or want #don't beat yourself over you being a person. you are struggling enough. you deserve to rest. just rest please #and just... give yourself space

[cemeterything]

kinda wish i didn't have PTSD but then i wouldn't be able to joke that it means Potential To Suck Dick so you win some you lose some

#🐉 #but come ON why do i have to react to seemingly innocuous things that remind me of times in my life i was hurt so badly #that it forever altered me as a person like im being shot at

[cj-kenobi]

Breaking news: Idiot husbands arrested for the murder of chancellor Palpatine

#hopping on this bandwagon before it leaves me behind #first art trend i have been fast enough to do <3 #theyre so silly #i couldnt decide between them being arrested for murdering the chancellor or just doing something. so dumb #im so excited for the barbie movie as well its gonna be amazing i cant wait for it to permanently alter my psyche #i love making meme art so much man its so fun #star wars #codywan #obi wan kenobi #commander cody #marshal commander cody #my art <3 #the clone wars #fanart #barbie #barbie 2023 #meme #barbie meme #barbie movie meme

[ofswordsandpens]

"the Gabe and Sally dynamic in the show is abusive" and "the way they've portrayed Gabe in the show is distinctly different from his book counterpart and fans can criticize that" are two discussions that can coexist

#I understand that this is hard topic to navigate #but me saying that /they've changed Gabe and that's consequently altered the dynamic he has with Sally in way I don't like/ #is NOT me saying I don't think what they've portrayed onscreen is non-abusive #or that I WANT to see him abuse her??? #its just the guy in the show while clearly controlling and abusive (emotionally and financially so far) #...I don't believe he's the guy who's presence was so horrid and disgusting MONSTERS avoided him #I wouldn't call him /Smelly/ #in the book his abuse (all forms) is much more overt #(and just to be painstakingly clear: abuse doesn't have to be overt to be abuse) #but the guy in the show does not have the same presence as the guy in the book #book Gabe is menacing #he growls and he threatens and both Sally and Percy have developed very specific responses to deal with it #I've seen one take saying that people can't recognize the abuse in the show because its not physical (yet?) #but even disregarding the physical abuse entirely #if you compare the book scene and TV show scene of Percy arriving home and he and Sally readying for Montauk #there is a pretty stark difference in tone #and in how both Sally and Percy interact with Gabe #in the book Sally goes out of her way to avoid /provoking/ Gabe and asks Percy to do the same until they can leave for Montauk #and Gabe is just itching for any excuse to keep them home #and imo if Book Sally had said the things that show Sally did to Gabe #Gabe wouldn't have let them gone! #and again im not saying that the show's depiction is nonabusive #or unrealistic #im saying its simply /different/ than the book #and im upset that it doesn't feel like dynamic depicted the book #and no book sally is no simpering wilting flower #but she's also not what they depicted in the show either #pjo adaptation #sally jackson #pjo

[dykevanny]

Who are you, really?

#Alternate title yeah i played this vr game but it didn’t do anything for fazbear’s reputation i just realized i have a dissociative disorder #Oops !! #fnaf #my art #vanessa sb #vanessa security breach #vanny #vanny fnaf #Vanny the bunny #princess quest fnaf #princess quest #Btw the two standing with ness in the last picture are loche(left) and crown(right) theyre nessa’s alters feel free to ask abt them #System nessa is real tomme

[spama]

expression / emphasis / scratch

#off #off game #the batter #the batter (evil) #idk what the fuck his other half is called #off fanart in 2023? no actually #its from 2022 #but yeah i do like it so im uploading it here also #i just think his evil alter ego is kinda hot ok #spama's art #edit: I HAVE BEEN INFORMED THAT HIS EVIL ALTER EGO IS ACTUALLY CALLED BAD BATTER SO #bad batter

[reddoesthingsfinally]

So. Um.

I don't remember if we ever put it here, but we don't experience memory gaps.

Now, allow me to contradict myself, because that's what I do. Apparently having a foggy/blurry memory of when an alter fronted, or losing only a few minutes of when an alter fronted, counts as amnesia. Which, not only would explain multiple times when we didn't remember a simple 5 minutes that someone else did, it also explains why we have such bad memory across us. We can't really share memories, though blurry memories tend to be easier to access when the alter of the time is fronting/co-fronting/conscious, so we often forget whatever we were doing or what happened there.

So...is this normal? Does this mean we have to rethink everything again? Does this mean we're not actually a system? Agh! I know I should be talking to my therapist about this, but every time we bring up maybe being or just being a system, she seems to just...not know what to say. We brought a journal of symptoms last session, and she wanted to see that, but Red, being our protector, didn't let her. Which I'm not upset at her for, to be clear, I actually much prefer that to the decision I would've made. But our therapist just...doesn't seem to know how to handle it? Or maybe not what we're talking about? Or maybe she doesn't think we're a system? So we're just...not bringing this up to her for now.

Anyway, enjoy my vents, because I am incredibly, incredibly, lost, and so confused. I'm trying to limit the blog to questions, or confusions, or neutral to positive stuff, but I'm honestly so scared. Yes, of course I'm relieved, but it's just hitting me...that I'm not always going to know what happened. I'm getting closer and closer to headspace, even when someone else is fronting, and I feel like I'm losing more and more control. Which, I guess is the nature of sharing your body, but...it's scary. Because it was terrifying enough being one teenager that didn't know what they were doing, all they knew was their own feelings, physical and mental, but suddenly there are others there that can uproot my life if they choose to. And I don't think they would, but Red's been getting really close to banning an ableist online person from our life that may result in someone else having to deal with the aftermath, and relationships have gotten so much more confusing, and I wouldn't be able to survive without them, and I never want them to leave, but I'm a teenager that can't handle change, and needs for the little illusion of control I have in my life, and when even that is gone, it's...kind of scary. And, weirdly enough, I feel really alone. Because I know everyone else has experienced this every single day, and I'm probably just wining about stubbing my toe to them, but for me...I never really had control in my life, so the control I can have is treasured to me, maybe a bit too much. But now, I'm losing even that, and I'm trying to be okay and I'm trying to focus on the positive but I cannot deny that it is terrifying to not know what my body will do next. Because it's not really mine anymore, is it?

Maybe I should have more trust in my alters, but I - I don't! I'm scared, and I know that they'll be there for me when I'm curled up, sobbing on the floor, but I don't know if I can genuinely say that I'm okay with giving up so much control to them if they asked.

Mmm, dramatic venting, my favorite coping mechanism. Pretending I live in a book so I can make long, dramatic speeches.

#questioning system #am i a system? #do i have alters? #am i faking it? #ramble #vent #system vent #this is fine #vent tw #tw vent #cw vent #vent cw #memory issues #memory loss #lost time #brain fog

[seagull-scribbles]

“Ain’t turtles supposed to be endangered?”

“Only the ones who can’t do this!”

#TMNT 2012 #raphael hamato #casey jones 2012 #is your bestie really your bestie if the first time you laid eyes on them it wasn’t immediately on sight #rasey #it’s not ship art but also I want it in my rasey tag so #I am having so much fun drawing in the canon style I am but god did I need to do something in my own style again #it’s like when you get made to wear a fitted dress and everyone tells you you look nice and it’s perfect #but you feel self conscious and constricted and it’s not something you’d ever wear #I love learning from studying the different styles but I also miss just editing the designs and going off model #altering the brushes and colours to suit a vibe #this is messy gritty wrong and imperfect but that’s what made it fun and easy and I’m so happy with this you can all bite me #also this is the return of flat ass Casey #Lou jitsu’s moral enemy and opposite lmao #I am so normal about Raph and Casey honest #I don’t constantly think about the way he slams Jones on the car bonnet #just a normal short chunky dude with his lanky toll bestie that happens to have the worlds flattest ass

[yet-another-haven-of-dollya]

I want his dick...

no lube, no protection, all night, all day, from the kitchen floor to the toilet seat, from the dining table to the bedroom, from the bathroom sink to the shower, from the front porch to the balcony, vertically, horizontally, quadratic, exponent al, logarithmic, while i gasp for air, scream and see the light, missionary, cowgirl, reverse cow girl, doggy, backwards, forwards, sideways, upside down, on the floor, in the bed, on the couch, on a chair, being carried against the wall, outside, in a train, on a plane, in the car, on a motorcycle, the bed of a truck, on a trampoline, in a bounce house, in the pool, bent over, in the basement, against the window, have the most toe curling, back arching, leg shaking, dick thribbing, first clenching, ear rining, mouth drooling, ass clenching, nose sniffling, eye watering, eye rolling, hip thrusting, earthquaking, sheet gripping, knuckles cracking, jaw dropping, hair pulling. teeth jitterbug, mind blogging, soul snatching, overstimulating, vile, sloppy, moan inducing, heart wrenching, spine tingling, back breaking, atrocious, gushy, creamy, beastly, lip bitting, gravity defying, nail biting, sweaty, feet kicking, mind blowing, body shivering, orgasmic, bone breaking, world ending, black hole creating, universe destroying, devious, scrumptious, amazing, delightful, delectable, unbelievable, body numbing, bark worthy, cant walk, head nodding, soul evaporating, volcano erupting, sweat rolling, voice cracking, trembling, sheets soaked, hair drenched, flabbergasting, lip locking, skin peeling, eyelash removing, eye widening, pussy popping, nail stractching, back cuts, spectacular, brain cell desolving, hair ripping, show stopping, magnificent, unique, extraordinary, slendid, phenomenal, mouth foaming, heavenly, awakening, devils tangos, he could put a nuclear bomb inside me and i'd still ride.

-🐹 anon

Today on another episode of "What the fuck did I just receive in my ask box?"

#“quadratic exponent al logarithmic”??? + - × ÷ π √ ??? #Why do you have a goddamn dicktionary??? #Ain't no way imma read all that #Should I call for Jordan? #dollya ask #dollya art #dol pc #lya the blossom #kariya the alter ego #lyah the emancipated

[weaverofink]

Young Justice outfit switch part 1!! The non-meta fighters: Arrowette and Robin

#young justice #young justice 1998 #red robin #tim drake #arrowette #cissie king jones #batman #dc #dc comics #batfam #i let them keep their original weapons bc they're just trading outfits not abilities #so i had to alter the robin costume just a little with the cape to allow for a quiver #in my mind they just did this on a whim and are about to go on a mission or something #cissie looks vaguely upset here which was not how i planned to have her but it just kind of happened that way #i imagine that's just the effect of being robin. she's like oh shit do i have to make the plans now or is tim still going to do that #meanwhile tim's just relishing the novelty of having a cool skirt that swishes when he spins :) #next up is probably going to be the meta muscle aka kon and cassie #art #my art #weaverofink

[poethebeloved]

the issue with discussions of "lore" is that people are thinking about/defining "lore" completely wrong. people beg for lore thinking that there must be universe-altering events constantly happening, and without that the story is not progressing. but large events like q!cellbit's kidnapping or q!roier and everyone going to rescue bobby are only one aspect of "lore" right?

to me, "lore" is anything that tells us something about the way the universe works or who the characters are that was not already known. q!foolish being batman? LORE!!! richarlyson hating baths? LORE!!!

people refuse to take these silly one-off events/comments and dismiss them in favor of major lore events, but that small stuff is necessary for the big stuff to pan out. I mean, without small things like richarlyson telling q!roier that q!cellbit easily falls for flirting, would we have built up to the wedding? without Tallulah/everyone on the server teasing q!quackity about his crush on q!wilbur, would we have had the "wilbur party" explosion?

at the end of the day, 99% of what the creators are doing is contributing to the lore (of at least their character if not the whole server) because they are roleplaying characters and the things they say are part of their character and become their lore. stop hating on creators for "not doing lore" when they are actively taking care of their egg or creating builds or doing silly schemes. because that is still lore that can and often will culminate in these larger narratively satisfying events!

#qsmp #just a little rant because some people discredit ccs when they are literally just having fun #believe it or not etoiles is not a father to an egg named pomme so yes he is participating in lore BC HE IS DOING RP #sorry to break it to you but not every thing that happens needs to be the most dramatic live altering story beat #i think people just refuse to take silly things are important lore elements #that is how you get to people having designating lore streams when its like... everything can be lore bc its rp! #its all lore always has been

[moonlit-dreamers]

made this at 2am and i regret nothing

#if someone knows how to make an id for this pls do i have nonclue how to OTL/nf #birdcage rambles #silly #actually did #did system #did osdd #system stuff #system memes #did alter #osdd system #actually osdd #osdd memes #did memes #dissociative identity disorder #otherwise specified dissociative disorder #shitpost #sorry boys #wilbur soot #charlie slimecicle #tommyinnit #ranboo #philza #actually traumagenic