Conflict of Interest
mature content discussed in this story… all chapter in masterlist
Chapter Twenty: Out With It
Nina’s words replay in your head like an echo or a verse of a song that’s stuck in your mind and you can’t stop annoying yourself by singing it over and over again.
“And if he doesn’t?”
And if he doesn’t reject you and tell you your relationship has and always will be purely physical- purely friends with benefits and no strings attached, and all that bullshit that never works out in the books? What if he doesn’t turn down your feelings, but rather reciprocates them?
You suppose you haven’t quite considered that possibility. Well, it’s crossed your mind, but more so in a way in which you think it, then you tell yourself you’re crazy and need to slow your roll.
These thoughts have been going through your head all morning like an annoying snapchat video you can’t click out of.
You texted him back last night, responding with an optimistic and not at all nervous: “For sure, I’ll see you at 6!”
After sending it, you felt pretty good and empowered, then a total of 13 minutes and 27 seconds later, you wanted to throw up and unsend it. In that order. But unfortunately for you, Spencer had already responded with a cute “Looking forward to it!”
Nina, both annoyed and worried that you’re sitting in bed practically chewing your lips and nails off, drags you to lunch in the cafeteria downstairs. You sit with your friends and enjoy spending time with them for the first time in a while. It’s actually nice to not think about Spencer and this incredibly frustrating situation.
Being so nervous to tell a guy you have feelings for him reminds you of your school days. You weren’t necessarily a shy person, but admitting to a guy or girl that you like them was always difficult. So many gone-wrong scenarios played in your head that made you choke up or stutter.
But since you’re nearly 26 years old, you remind yourself to buck up and just fucking come out with it.
After lunch, Nina occupies your time with movies and gossip about her family she learned and or saw during the holidays. Their efforts of distracting you do not go unnoticed. You’re grateful to have a roommate/ best friend like her.
Eventually, it’s time to start getting ready. You head to the showers, missing having the nice bathroom from your childhood to use.
Once you’re back in your room, you get dressed in your favorite jeans and an oversized light blue sweater. You pull your hair back into two somewhat loose pigtails and put on a little bit of makeup. You pull on your boots then head out the door at 5:45, talking a deep breath.
Looking out the window of the cab, you can’t help but imagine either way this may go. And how both ways will ultimately change the relationship between you.
If Spencer does not feel the same, then you’ll have to stop seeing him; that would be the only choice fair to yourself. Class would be awkward as hell and maybe even hard to get through some days.
If he does reciprocate your feelings, then you’ll have to decide whether or not to make that extra step in the relationship. And being your professor’s girlfriend has to be difficult. You’d still have to keep things a secret.
A part of you feels like either outcome this situation will have could end poorly.
The cab driver pulls into Spencer’s apartment parking lot, and parks. You pay him the fee, then get out and take the elevator to his floor. When it lands, the stomach drop feeling comes from nothing the elevator stopping and the fact that you’re actually doing this.
You knock three times and wait the short amount of time it takes Spencer to open the door.
“Hey,” he smiles to you, opening the door wider so you can go in. “I almost thought you were going to stand me up, you haven’t texted me all day.”
“Oh shit, yeah. I’m so sorry, Nina was distracting me all day and we were catching up some more.”
“No worries,” he says softly. “You’re here now.”
“That I am,” you rub your hands together with nerves and follow him as he leads you to the couch.
“How was your break?”
“It was good,” you say honestly. “It was nice to be with my family again. Though my mother did not come.”
“Really?” He says with a sympathetic look. “I’m sorry, Y/n.”
“It’s okay. I think it was for the best.”
He nods.
“How was that party your friend took you to?” You ask before you can even think it through. What if he says he met someone?
“It wasn’t half bad actually,” he tells you. “Normally I hate parties or really any event where there’s a ton of people I don’t know, but it wasn’t awful.”
You nod. “I’m glad you could enjoy yourself even if it was just a little.”
He smiles softly. “What about yours?”
You completely forgot until now that you told him you were going to a party. Which you were totally lying about but ended up actually going to one. You can tell your cheeks are burning red. “Yeah, it was nice.”
“Nice?” He questions.
“Okay, it was good until it was kind of awkward. I got a little tipsy then made out with my brother’s old best friend.”
“Oh,” Spencer says.
Oh? What does “oh” mean?
“It didn’t mean anything though,” you say quickly.
“Hey, I mean you can kiss whoever you want. It’s not like we’re dating.”
That sentence hits you like a baseball bat to the gut.
“Right. We’re not dating. And you’ve made it abundantly clear we never will.” You say, turning away from him.
“What?”
You stay silent, still not looking at him.
“We both agreed that this would just be some stupid risk we’re taking-”
“So now it’ stupid?”
“Yeah, Y/n. It is stupid! The whole no strings attached friends with benefits thing is stupid!”
“Well sorry, Doctor, I thought we were enjoying this!”
“I thought we were too. But apparently you’re angry about your own rules.”
“I’m angry because I broke my own rule!”
“What?” He furrows his eyebrows.
This is not how you intended to tell him. You sigh, bouncing your leg. “The most basic rule of this type of relationship is don’t fall for the other person… I broke that.”
His face changes. His eyebrows relax a little and his eyes widen a bit. Spencer’s cheeks turn a bright shade of pink. “Wait… really?”
“Yeah,” you breathe out softly, looking down at the carpet. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean for it to happen, and I definitely didn’t intend to tell you like this. I don’t want to be mad at each other.”
Spencer’s hand cups your cheek gently, forcing you to look at him. He starts to say something, but leans in and presses his lips to yours instead. It’s soft, but passionate.
You relax against him entirely, despite your brain telling you to pull away; you still don’t know how he feels. Your hand rests on his knee.
After a moment, he pulls away, lips swollen. “I’m not mad at you.”
“Really that’s all you have to say?” You say with an almost laugh.
“I’m not really good at saying how I feel, but I’ll try for you. I didn’t want this to just be a casual, no strings attached relationship. I do think those are stupid and hardly work out, especially not for people like us. I agreed because I wanted to get close to you, and I thought that was all you wanted. But I stumbled and fell for you harder along the road. Like the type of fall where you hit your head on gravel, and you’ve got scraped knees and elbows, and everything hurts afterwards.”
You chuckle softly, feeling your heart in your throat. You feel like crying, but you choke it down. “So what now?”
“I just poured my heart out to you, and you ask ‘What now?’” Spencer laughs softly.
“Hey, all you said was that you weren’t mad.”
“Touché, well deserved.”
“But seriously, what do we do now? Do we move on with our lives or-?”
“What? No, of course not!” He says, cutting you off. “I want a real relationship… if you want that too.”
“I do,” you smile softly. “But don’t you think that it’ll make things weird?”
“Things have been weird for months, Y/n.”
You nod, chuckling softly once again. “You’re not wrong there.”
“I’m never wrong.”
“Whatever, genius,” you roll your eyes.
He smiles, bumping your shoulder playfully. “Will you be my girlfriend? Officially.”
“I don’t know,” you tease. “That’s a hard decision.”
“Okay, go home.”
“I’m kidding! Yes, yes I will be your girlfriend.” You grin up at him.
He smiles down at you, kissing you again. “You’re something else.”
“You like it,” you scrunch your nose at him cheekily.
“I suppose.”
You roll your eyes then pull him into you. Your lips find each other’s again, and your hands lock behind his neck. Spencer’s hand trail down to your thigh as he leans you back into the couch. Your tongues graze against each other’s roughly.
Spencer pulls away, drawing out a soft whine from you. “I don’t want to have sex.”
“Oh,” you say. “Okay.”
“Well, I mean it’s not that I don’t want to, but that’s how our last relationship started, and we’re having a clean slate. So tonight could just be I don’t know… am I making sense?”
“You’re making sense,” you assure him, twirling the hair against his neck in your fingers. “I agree.”
“Good,” he smiles. “Good, okay. Um how would you like dinner?”
“Are you cooking?” You wiggle your eyebrows.
“I was thinking takeout, but I can cook for you later this week.”
You sigh, pouting. “I guess that’s fine.”
“Yeah, you guess?” He chuckles, and his smile makes your guts melt all over the couch.
After dinner, the two of you lay in his bed, fingers interlocked as you talk about winter break, the academy, and the BAU.
Earlier your mind was racing about the two different outcomes this night could’ve had. You were worried that either one would’ve ended poorly. But now, laying in this bed next to the guy you’re falling in love with, you can’t possibly imagine how this could go wrong. He’s perfect, this is perfect.
chapter twenty one
tags: @reidsmilf @reidslovely @awhoreforspencerreid @sexualityisajoke @nomajdetective @kenreadsfanfics @calicocatty @hotchandspencearedilfs @kodiakwhiskey @rory-cakes @kbakery @reidsprettygirl @444verse <3
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JJ x Prentiss headcannons
They first formed feelings for each other when Emily was hiding in Paris. Emily was so scared and guilty so afternoons consisted of JJ and Emily cuddled up and watching Disney movies
When Reid was pissed with JJ, Emily comforted her while she sobbed in the bathroom
They share wardrobes, like one day JJ is wearing a black sweater, and the next day Emily will be wearing it
Online crossword, online UNO, online monopoly, etc
JJ wears a distinct perfume that Emily covers all of her sheets and pillows in, so she can sleep without feeling panicked
Emily gets JJ teddy bears when she travels and now JJ has like 22 teddy bears in room from different states, countries and continents
When Emily was injured after Doyle, JJ did her makeup for her and looked after her. When JJ was kidnapped and beaten, Emily returned the favour
JJ is the better cook, but Emily is the better cuddlier
Big spoon Emily and little spoon JJ
Their song is Isn't she lovely
Emily made the first move, but JJ said "I love you" first
Note: *:・゚✧*:・゚happy lesbian awareness week! *:・゚✧*:・゚
ʕっ• ᴥ • ʔっ thank you so much for 1000 notes :)
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spencer with girly gf
warnings; fluff , neck kisses , references to later smut
you've left the elevator, a plate of food in your hand as you approach the doors of spencers workplace. you're familiar with the office, having been there multiple times to deliver food under the request of spencer and his colleges. they love your cooking a little too much.
today you have chocolate and hazelnut brownies, simple but you know they love it. the moment you enter the office, penelope spots you, practically running over to greet you.
"y/n!" she says, enveloping you in a hug.
"penelope, it's really nice to see you." you say, smiling at her.
"ooo, are those brownies i see?" she says, and you smile, nodding.
"bring them to the board room, the others are in there."
you follow her to the room, smiling as you spot spencers team, and spencer himself.
"look who is here to deliver something!" penelope says, clapping her hands together in excitement.
you place the brownies on the table, saying your hellos as everyone scrambles to get one.
a pair of hands appears on either side of your waist, a kiss being pressed to your neck.
"hi." spencer says, and you turn, smiling up at him.
"thanks for the brownies."
"your welcome spence, i hope your team likes them."
"oh they will. you look cute." his eyes fall up and down your outfit. you smile, a blush creeping across your cheeks.
"oh!" you say, remembering your own personal gift for spencer. you reach into your bag, grabbing out a little envelope, a heart sticker holding it together.
"open it later." you say, winking at spencer as you hand it over.
later when spencer returns home, the polaroid photos of you still in his hand, you know you are in for it.
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