#chapter 2 is fighting me but I think it's almost done??

[desiccatedwithering]

we live in troubled days (oh, my friend, we have the strangest ways) — ch 1/4?

(post-s3 || pre-Steddie || T || 3.1k || read on ao3) (stand alone, but you can read the prequel on ao3 or tumblr) (ch2 || ch3 || ch4)

“I fear I am in mortal danger, gentlemen,” Eddie announces gravely as he enters the garage, yanking the door shut behind him. He’s late for band practice, but he thinks it can be forgiven, considering the dire situation he finds himself in.

Gareth jolts upright. “Shit! Because of you know what?”

Eddie blinks, trying to figure out how Gareth knows about the probably-poisoned cake, before realizing the much more obvious conclusion he must’ve jumped to. “Oh! No, I’m not about to be gay bashed.” He starts to wave the concern off, then pauses halfway through the motion, frowning as he mulls it over. “At least, I don’t think that’s what’s happening, though I suppose I could be mistaken.”

“Then what…?”

“There is a terrible plot afoot. Possibly the greatest evil this land has to offer. The likes of which have never been seen before.” He pauses to make eye contact with each of his bandmates, then announces: “I’m going to be ritualistically sacrificed by the dark forces that control this town.”

Frank snorts. “That’s funny, since people are always accusing you of Satanism and—” He cuts himself off abruptly when he glances over and notices Eddie’s thunderous expression.

He bares his teeth. “I hope you still find the irony this delightful at my funeral, Francis.”

“Wait, pause,” Jeff says. “How much of this is Eddie Drama versus actual cause for concern?”

This is a term he has never encountered before, and he watches the three teens gathered before him with a deep-set suspicion. “Eddie Drama?” he repeats, narrowing his eyes at them.

Jeff winces and clamps his mouth shut. Frank avoids Eddie’s gaze with an ease borne of years of practice. But Gareth—brave, stupid little baby Gareth—plucks up the courage to explain: “You can sort of be dramatic about things.” Then, sensing the change in the air like an oncoming storm, he continues, practically yelping, “Not that it’s bad! It’s what makes your campaigns so awesome! It’s just… outside of D&D, it can be hard to know how… serious situations are.”

Eddie narrows his eyes even further—he can hardly see at this point, but he’s committed to the bit—as he considers this, the way a dragon might consider whether a party of fresh faced heroes was a big enough meal to be worth the trouble.

“I would never be over dramatic about my impending demise,” he says darkly.

Frank snorts again, a fatal and tragic mistake; Eddie snatches the drumsticks out of Gareth’s hand and launches one at him with an unerring accuracy that would make his gym teacher of yore bitch about how if he “just put in literally any effort at all,” he might pass the class with better than a D. But joke’s on them because a D is still passing, which is better than Eddie can say for several other far more important classes.

“Fuck!” Frank yelps. “Dude, I’m delicate!“

“Well you should’ve thought of that before you reveled in my nigh and untimely demise!”

“I didn’t even say anything!”

Jeff sets down his guitar with a sigh. “I feel like we’re not going to be having band practice today.”

Eddie briefly considers launching his second missile but decides to save it for now. Instead, he drops onto the couch like a Victorian woman experiencing any strong emotion. “You are all going to feel like shit when I turn up dead and you realize that I came to you, my only friends, seeking aid in my hour of need, only to be met with cruel mockery and baseless claims of hysteria.”

Jeff reaches out to pat his head consolingly, and Eddie snaps at his fingers, just barely missing.

“Don’t bite Jeff!” Frank scolds.

“I am going to be murdered, and no one cares!” Eddie wails. Somewhere in the world beyond the garage door, a dog starts to bark.

“Oh,” Jeff says, voice flat. “You’re actually serious.”

“Fucking obviously, Jeff,” Eddie snaps.

“Well, shit, dude! You should’ve started with that.”

Eddie’s eyelid twitches. He counts to ten. He shrieks, “I did start with that!”

His bandmates wince, hands belatedly moving to cover their ears. A second dog begins to bark.

“Have you gone to the police?” Frank—who he’s just decided is his least favorite—asks.

Eddie raises his brows and pointedly gestures to himself. “Also, the police are already in my killer’s pocket.”

Gareth cautiously pokes his knee. At Eddie’s baffled look, he explains, “Just wanted to make sure you weren’t a ghost we needed to avenge,” thus earning himself the place of favorite.

“Wait, go back. Why are we your only friends?” Jeff asks, apparently vying with Frank for least favorite. “What did the freshman do?”

“I fear they are complicit in the plot against my life. Though whether it be against their will, I know not. Perhaps they are being blackmailed. Perhaps they have been inducted into—or indoctrinated by—a cult in Hawkins. Whatever the case, I can no longer trust them.”

There’s a moment of heavy, loaded silence.

Frank clears his throat. “Ok, so do you want to, like… explain?”

Eddie rolls off the couch, gracefully landing directly on his face, then springs to his feet and grabs his backpack. He pulls out the tupperware and note, offering them out to the boys, who take them with the appropriate amount of caution.

“These items were left on my doorstep naught but a day ago. I trust they will elucidate the situation.”

“Ok, see this is why I think he’s full of shit. He only vomits a dictionary when he’s being melodramatic,” Jeff mutters to Frank.

Eddie magnanimously pretends not to have heard him.

After a moment of careful study, Gareth cautiously raises a hand. “Yeah, I’m gonna be honest. This doesn’t actually explain anything to me.”

“That is because you are just a wee bairn,” Eddie tells him cheerfully. “You were raised in times of peace and prosperity, free from the tyrannous rule of King Steve.”

“Uh, Billy was objectively worse, and—”

“Frank, you know how insane he is about Harrington. Don’t bother.”

“However!” Eddie continues, loudly. Because while it’s true that yes, Billy was worse than King Steve in literally every way, Billy is dead and Eddie is not yet dead, and he’d really rather keep it that way. Which means focusing on the biggest threat at the moment: Harrington. “Your elders have surely read the omens as I have. They know the terrible fate that awaits me.” He glances over expectantly, only to be met by two identical blank stares.

“It’s an invitation to a dinner, dude,” Jeff says.

“And a piece of pineapple upside-down cake,” Frank adds. “It kinda seems like you’re making a big deal out of nothing.”

“Maybe it’s poisoned?” Gareth suggests, sensing the imminent carnage and wisely changing sides.

Eddie points at Gareth. “Exactly! My tiny redheaded neighbor told me to watch out for poisons.”

“Max?" Jeff asks, eyebrows raised. “The girl who sometimes dates Lucas and is friends with the other freshmen? That neighbor?”

“Yes. Wait, hang on. Why do you know her name, and I don’t?”

Frank scoffs. “Because you’re terrible at listening sometimes.”

“Ok, rude—”

“She was just messing with you, man,” Jeff says over him. “I don’t think the boys would forgive her if she actually let you get poisoned. And I don’t think Harrington would try to poison you, since he’s friends with the kids for whatever unknowable reason, and they would be pissed at him if he hurt you. You know they worship you, dude.”

“Did you forget everything I just said about the freshmen being part of the plot?”

“Oh, so you’ll believe a random girl who tells you that a slice of cake is poisoned, but you won’t believe that the kids who’ve played with us for months like you and wouldn’t want you to get murdered?”

“It doesn’t matter whether the cake is poisoned! I mean it does, but—” Eddie shakes his head. “The point is that clearly I have been summoned to King Steve’s domain for nefarious and deadly purposes. I am to be sacrificed, likely to a god of youth or beauty or”—he shudders—“sports.”

“Ok, I’m no fan of Harrington,” Frank says, hands raised placatingly, “but it seems like you’re jumping to a lot of conclusions here.”

“I am doing nothing of the sort! I am merely stating the obvious. Facts which should be apparent to anyone brave enough to think for themselves. The deaths in this town are not freak accidents; they are premeditated and linked and can all be traced back to one man: King Steve, first of his name.”

Frank rolls his eyes. Jeff sighs. Gareth sneezes.

“Deny it all you want!” Eddie cries. “Call me a modern Cassandra, if you must. But know that my blood will be on your hands if you turn me away.”

“Dude, just.” Jeff pinches the bridge of his nose. “Just don’t go to the party?”

“And let some other hapless victim take my place? Let Harrington continue to roam free, stalking our streets, just waiting to strike again? No. He must be stopped. I had hoped that my three closest companions would be willing to aid me on my quest, but alas. I will be forced to go into the beast’s lair unarmed and ill-prepared and pray that my wits are quick enough to—”

“Oh my god,” Jeff cuts in. “If you explain why you think Harrington is a murderer—without the melodrama—I’ll help you.”

“You are no fun,” Eddie complains. “But fine; I’ll heed your request.”

“Dude,” Frank hisses.

Eddie shoots Jeff a sheepish grin. “Whoops. Anyway, as I said, all the deaths in town can be connected to Harrington, starting with Barbara Holland. I don’t know how deep this thing runs, whether other people are in on it, or if Harrington is just a run-of-the-mill serial killer. But whatever the case, I suspect daddy’s money and mommy’s flawless reputation in town are the reason why this shit keeps getting covered up and brushed aside.”

“Ew, please never say daddy and mommy like that again.”

“I will take your feedback under consideration, Frank. Yes, Gareth, I see you’ve raised your hand. Do you have a question?”

“When you say ‘all the deaths,’ who are you actually talking about? Cause there’ve been, like, a weird number of unnatural deaths around town recently.”

“Definitely Barbara Holland and Bob Newby. Probably Billy Hargrove. Possibly Heather Holloway and some to all of the other ‘mall fire’ victims.”

He receives three equally dubious looks.

“Barb and Bob fit the profile the best: not popular, some type of nerd, died in late autumn. A pattern which, I feel I must point out, I also fall into.”

“I feel I must point out that you’re actually still alive,” Jeff says drily.

Eddie waves a hand. “Details. As for Hargrove, that’s personal. There’s a vendetta there. Hargrove had taken his throne, taken his crown, punched his pretty face. Rather than his usual, premeditated, annual murder, this was a revenge killing, and it made Harrington sloppy.”

“A crime of passion,” Frank murmurs and nods, seemingly fully on board. One down, two to go.

“Perhaps the fire was to cover his tracks, and the other victims were helpless bystanders, in the wrong place at the wrong time. Collateral damage. Or perhaps some of them had also wronged Harrington at some point, and he decided to take them all out in one fell swoop. But the most pressing matter right now is the annual murder. The pattern he hopes to continue with yours truly as the victim.”

“Two isn’t actually enough to establish a pattern,” Gareth says, unhelpfully.

Eddie rolls his eyes. “Oh wow, get a load of this guy. Mr. I Can Actually Pass My Math Classes.”

“Ok, I don’t see why that’s a bad thing. Just because I’m on track to finish high school in literally half the time you’re taking—”

“So what, you want me to just lie back and get murdered, Gareth? Would that satisfy your need to establish a pattern?”

“No, I—”

Frank pats Gareth’s shoulder. “You should shut up.”

“But I— Yeah, ok.”

Eddie opens his mouth, ready to continue his explanation now that that pointless interruption is dealt with, but—

“You haven’t actually explained why you think Barbara and Bob were killed by Harrington.”

“My god, Jeff, if you three would stop interrupting every two seconds, I would’ve explained an hour ago. Don’t make that face at me; I don’t know how time works, and I don’t care to learn. Shut up.” Once Jeff’s face is quiet again, Eddie takes a deep breath. “Ok, so as I’ve been trying to explain for literal years at this point, Barb and Bob were both on the edge of Harrington’s social circle. Not so close that the sheep in town would think to draw a connection between their deaths and the golden boy, but close enough that he could observe his targets, make sure that they wouldn’t be missed too much. He— Jesus Christ, what now, Frank?”

“I’m all in, but, uh, didn’t Barb and Bob die the same year?”

“Fucking hell,” Eddie groans, flopping back onto the couch in despair.

After letting the three of them bicker for a moment, he heaves himself upright again and slashes his arms through the air. “Shut up!” he snaps, throwing the second drumstick at them; it doesn’t hit anyone, but they get the message. “Barb went missing in ‘83. If the official ‘chemical exposure’ story is to be believed, then she would’ve had to die also in ‘83. Because it would be fucking insane if she’d been lost in the woods for an entire year and then died from some freaky chemical. Like, no one could find her when she was alive, but the second she dies, they manage to track her down? Think before you ask questions.”

“Also, I’m pretty sure the news literally said that her death had been covered up for a year,” Jeff says.

“Yes, thank you, Jeff. Now, may I continue?” He waits for them to nod, then drags his hands down his face. “Ok. I’m cutting to the chase. Harrington knew Nancy Wheeler, who knew Barb. Harrington knew Will Byers, whose mother was dating Bob. Harrington knows freshmen, who know me. Questions? Concerns?”

“Yeah, I have one: What the fuck?”

“Thank you for your valuable input, Jeff. Anyone else? Yes, Frank? Try to do better this time.”

“Did Harrington know Will Byers?”

“I can’t believe I told you to do better, and you’ve asked another dumb question. Harrington’s alleged best friend before Buckley was Henderson, who is in turn best friends with Baby Byers. Or Harrington had that weird quasi-friendship with Byers the Elder in ‘84, before Jonathan stole his girlfriend. Take your pick. Either way, there’s a connection to the Byers and therefore Bob. Yes, Jeff?”

“It’s not autumn.”

“Thank you for that remarkable observation. Technically, it actually is autumn right now, but you’re right that the date of my murder will fall just after the solstice. Harrington’s messy summer murder spree made him cautious, so he postponed his annual murder by a bit over a month. It’s probably not tied to any sort of holiday, just a way to celebrate the dying of one year and the start of the next. Annual end-of-the-year-ish murder. My death still counts. Gareth?”

“Why would Wheeler date the man who murdered her best friend?”

“Jesus Christ, would it kill you guys to use your brains today? Obviously Wheeler didn’t know. She only found out in ‘84; that’s why they had that huge fight everyone was talking about at Tina’s Halloween party. Wheeler’s also the reason why the story broke. And she was either paid off or threatened or her lingering feelings for Harrington prevented her from spreading the news that he was the killer. Jeff?”

“Why do you know so many extremely specific details about Harrington from the last couple years? I thought you got over your crush on him in ‘82.”

“Wipe that smirk off your face and shut up. Gareth, got something worth my time?”

“Why you?”

“Finally a decent question. There are several possible answers. Obviously, he suspects that I, as trailer trash and a general nuisance, will not be missed in the eyes of the wider community. He might even think that no one would notice me missing, or he knows that Wayne could never afford to bring in independent, unbiased investigators. At least not ones that Harrington couldn’t bribe. As for why me specifically, perhaps he doesn’t like that I have befriended the freshmen. We know he is vain and narcissistic. Maybe he worries that he’ll lose his only remaining loyal followers if he does not remove me from the situation. Or—” Eddie steeples his fingers, gazing at each of his friends in turn, letting the anticipation build.

Right before they can snap at him to get on with it, he leans forward and continues, voice low, “Or, maybe more likely, the freshmen are in on it. They befriended me to make sure I was a suitable target. Their participation in Hellfire has been little more than a facade, a farce, a sham, a con.”

“You think the three freshmen—the freshmen, who, as I mentioned before, worship the ground you walk on—joined Hellfire to make sure you were a good person for Harrington to murder,” Jeff says flatly. His face plainly—rudely—says that he thinks Eddie is the stupidest man on earth.

Frank taps his chin. “Lucas is on the basketball team.”

“Thank you, Frank, for supporting me during this tragic, vulnerable time in my life.”

“Seriously, what are you on right now?” Jeff asks, crossing his arms. “Because this whole thing is completely deranged.”

“I’m not on drugs! And I’m not being deranged! This all makes perfect sense,” Eddie says, gesturing towards Frank emphatically when he nods. “See? Frank agrees with me. I could really use some backup for all this, you know. From all of you, rather than just Frank—no offense.”

Gareth scratches the side of his head. “Eddie, I love you, but Jeff might have a point. You kinda sound like my uncle right now. You know, the crazy one who believes that the moon landing was faked and never shuts up about it.”

“Are you seriously comparing me to a conspiracy theorist for being concerned for my safety?” Eddie asks, clutching an invisible string of pearls.

“Your safety?” Jeff squawks. “You’re accusing Harrington of being a murderer who plans to kill you. That’s objectively insane!”

“Ok, I get how it sounds,” Eddie admits, holding up his hands in surrender. “But the alternative is that Steve Harrington left an unpoisoned slice of cake on my doorstep and genuinely wants me to go to his Christmas party.”

“Oh, fuck, you’re gonna get murdered,” Jeff says.

(chapter 2 on ao3 or tumblr)

#steddie fic #stranger things fic #stranger things fanfiction #eddie munson #corroded coffin #series: make the yuletide gay #eddie pov #steddie #my fic #my writing #my post #st fic #wip #my wips #chapter 2 is fighting me but I think it's almost done?? #also ngl i find it extremely funny that the gen prequel has one (1) note

[hyunniesgirl]

Another Love | part 1

Summary: you've been hopelessly in love with Han since you were children. One night you confess your feelings to him.

Words count: 8,539

Warnings for this part: lots of angst, drunk people, drunk Han is petty asf

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6

A/N: So I made that pool asking if I should post this fic in chapters or a 20,000+ words chapter and the long ass chapter won but at the time my mind told me I would be able to finish the whole fic before posting it... Jokes on me I need validation and feedback for me to write so yeah let's do this in chapters, sorry

A/N2: I had this idea for quite some time now but got suddenly inspired listening to the song another love.

You're done. Really, you can't take it anymore. You've known Han Jisung since elementary school, you have been basically joined at the hip since then, your parents even became best friends because of you two.

You don't know exactly when you fell in love with him, was it on your second day at school when he invited you to play with him because he noticed you were all alone? Was it when someone made an awkward joke about your messed up hair cut in second grade and he picked a fight with them? Maybe it was the very first moment you laid eyes on him, joking around with everyone and being the most popular kid in the classroom. You really can't remember, but the thing you're sure of is: Han Jisung doesn't like you back.

You've always known that, but inside you there was a tiny bit of hope that one day he would wake up and suddenly love you back.

That didn't happen though. You are now 23 and he has never ever shown the smallest amount of romantic interest in you.

"That's fine", you thought to yourself, ever since you realized your feelings for him, "I'm going to stay with him his entire life, that doesn't sound so bad"

Until it started to sound really bad. What are you gonna do? See him getting a girlfriend, then getting engaged and eventually married? Would you always be there on the sidelines listening to his lovesick whines about the woman he loves so much? Would you be the godmother to his children? By then, would you have gotten over him already? Or would you keep this up forever, marrying someone just because you can't stay alone and being in love with your best friend for the rest of your life? That was the moment you knew you had to stop, you can't keep this up.

Coincidentally Han broke up with his last girlfriend a few months ago, you thought that would be a good opportunity for you to be his rebound, yeah, pretty dignified of you.

So you dress up really pretty, hair up, a dress that always made Han compliment you and to finish it off—the necklace he gave you on your 12th birthday.

You think this is it, this is the day you're going to tell him how much you love him and maybe, just maybe he will contemplate giving you a chance.

When he arrives at your shared apartment, with two cans of beer and fried chicken, you give him a cheerful greeting, setting the table and trying to gather courage to speak.

"So, how was practice?", you begin, maybe some small talk will help you relax.

"It was good, we are almost done with the album", he says, typing something on his phone. "How was your day?", he asks, putting the device on the table and looking at you.

"Good, I had class in the morning and tutoring in the afternoon", you take a sip of your beer, "one of the mothers actually recommended me to other parents and I'm gonna start tutoring more students next week"

He smiles, "that's good, you're really smart"

You blush, bringing the back of your hands to your face to try and lessen the hot skin of your cheeks with the cold of your hands.

"Actually, I want to talk to you", you start, it's now or never.

"Sure-", Jisung stops mid sentence when his phone buzzes. "Just a minute", he looks at the screen and smiles, your heart sinks at the sight. You know that smile too well, you have seen it dozens of times. You feel your insides turning over. It's the smile meant only for the person he likes.

"Hey, Lia. Yeah, totally, I can talk right now", he picks up the call and once again asks you for a minute lifting his index finger, he walks towards the balcony and closes the glass door after going through it.

He's laughing about something, is she even that funny or is he just trying to win her favor? She's pretty, you know it. All of his girlfriends looked like models. You sigh, looking at yourself and feeling awful, suddenly you don't feel pretty anymore, you actually feel ridiculous.

Why did you think things would change just because you got brave enough to speak up? Jisung sees you as a best friend and nothing more, you have to come to terms with that.

Your mind is rushing, thinking about what you're going to do now? Can you keep being friends with him? Yeah, of course, he's your best friend, you won't end your friendship because you can't control your feelings. But you'll need time, right? You won't be able to get over this unrequited love if you keep seeing him everyday, doing everything with him and sleeping in the same house.

"So, what do you want to talk about?", he asks, sitting again. You didn't even notice he had come back inside.

You sigh, you'll tell him about it all and then you'll find the strength in you to move on.

"I like you", you say so low you're not sure he heard you. But he did, he smiles and chuckles.

"I like you too, we're best friends for a reason", he stretches his arm to take a fried chicken.

"No, I like like you", you admit, hugging yourself, feeling cold suddenly, you look around and see Han left the door to the balcony open. "I've been in love with you since I can remember", you complete.

The look on his face would be funny if it wasn't tragic, his brows are furrowed in confusion and his eyes have a very familiar look: fear. Of course, he's afraid of losing his best friend, you already guessed that much.

"Y/N I-", you notice his breathing quickening. "I'm sorry, I never knew", he says, shoulders slumping, his arms dropping to the side of his body.

"Yeah, I know you didn't", you say. He's still staring at you with so much hurt in his eyes. Jisung knows he will have to turn you down and it's going to hurt him a lot, but not as much as it will hurt you and he never ever wanted to hurt you. 

"I'm sorry, I don't know what to say", he takes a deep breath, "I never thought about you in that way, I'm really sorry, I don't feel the same"

You're not going to cry, you decided that the moment you saw fear in his eyes. It's not his fault you like him, he can't fall in love with you just because you love him. You're not going to cry and make him feel worse than you can tell he's already feeling. But listening to those words it's worse than you could have expected, you feel like the world is crumbling around you.

"I know you don't", you smile sadly.

He looks more confused now.

"Then, why did you tell me?"

"It's just… I'm done with all this", you reply, getting up from your chair.

"Done with our friendship?" Han can feel all the air leaving his body while he waits for your answer.

You chuckle, fidgeting with your foot.

"No, I don't think I could ever be done with that", you smile trying to reassure him and he feels so relieved. "I can't keep doing this, I can't continue seeing you with other people and stay hurting alone"

"I can stop bringing people to the apartment and I'll never talk about them around you", he says trying to help and your stomach sinks a lot more. Why does he have to be so sweet?

"Actually, I'll need some time", you clear your throat, "I think I'm going to stay with Seungmin for the time being, he is looking for a roommate"

Han's eyes widen and he gets up, walking towards you.

"What are you talking about? Are you going to move out?"

"It's not something definitive, I'm going to stay there until he finds a new roommate and come back after that", you take a step back, noticing how close he is to you. "Luckily by then I'll be over you, I think I just need some personal space for now, where you're not there everytime I look, or your things aren't mixed with mine or your scent isn't around every room"

"Will you still speak to me?", he asks, he wants to hug you, to hold you in his arms and say how sorry he is for not feeling the same. But he knows he can't, the best thing he can do is to keep his distance from you right now.

"I think we should keep it restricted to apartment things for now, I'll keep paying my half of the rent since my things will still be here"

"You don't have to pay if you're not here"

Ever since Jisung started making good money he insisted that you didn't have to pay for rent since you only work part time as a tutor to pay for your living expenses but you always refused. Even though he earns a lot more than you it wouldn't be fair for him to be the only one paying and honestly, you felt that if he was the only one paying for it, you would feel too much like you were a couple.

"No, I'll pay you. This arrangement doesn't change the fact that we still share the apartment"

He nods, looking down, the awkward silence making you sick.

"I'm really sorry I hurt you", he whispers and all the crying you avoided over this whole conversation threatens to come out at that exact moment.

"It's not your fault", you say, "I'm sorry I made things awkward, just give me some time and we'll be back to how things were, okay?", you give him a reassuring smile even though you're not sure things will ever go back to the way it was.

You wake up feeling like shit, you cried your eyes out the moment you stepped into Seungmin's apartment. He was so sweet to you, staying awake until you calmed down and even offered you his room for you to sleep but you refused. He was already doing you a favor by letting you stay on his couch until he found a roommate.

You sit, stretching yourself, you slept pretty comfortably but all the stress from last night left your muscles sore.

"Are you feeling better?", you hear Seungmin's voice and look at the kitchen, he's making coffee. That reminds you of all the days you woke Han up with a nice and hot coffee so he wouldn't be in a bad mood waking up so early.

"I don't think so", you answer, shaking your head like that would make your thoughts disappear. "Can you get me some of that?", you ask and he smiles.

"Already on it", you start tidying up the blanket and the pillow you used.

"What are you going to do today?", Seungmin asks while you sit at the table.

"I have some tutoring to do and class in the afternoon, maybe I'll go shopping with Hannah later"

"That's good, try to keep yourself entertained at least for the next couple of days", he hands you the mug and you nod.

All your friends knew about your crush on Han and you made all of them swear they wouldn't tell him. You were afraid things would be awkward now, since Han was their friend before you met them, but they all showed you support now that you had confessed.

Hannah had offered you to stay with her, but she has a roommate that's really strict about everything in their apartment and you don't want to cause trouble to your friend by staying there. Luckily Seungmin's last roommate had moved a couple of weeks ago and he was looking for someone new, but by the way he's picky that's not going to happen so soon.

"Since I'll be staying here and you won't accept money because I won't be using a room, the groceries will be on me and I won't accept no for an answer", you say finishing your coffee and getting up. Seungmin sighs, rolling his eyes.

"I know you're going to buy it anyway, so I'll accept it"

"Then send me a list of whatever you need and I'll buy it tonight or tomorrow", you blow him a kiss, picking your bag from the floor and heading to the bathroom.

You take a long, hot, refreshing shower and pick some comfortable clothes to go to your tutoring session.

Seungmin's already gone when you go back to the kitchen, there's a message from him on your phone.

Minnie: I left some sliced fruit in the fridge for you, eat before going out.

Minnie: I'll send you the list later btw

You smile, having someone taking care of you is nice. For a second, it makes you forget the reason why you're there to begin with.

You feel like crying again, but you can't show up to your students house with red eyes and a puffy face.

The parents that are near each other usually ask you to teach their children together in longer sessions. That strengthens the bond the kids have while strengthening the connection between the families. That usually happens when the families are wealthy, they see an opportunity in their children's friendship to get on each other's good side.

Your parents started hanging out with Jisung's parents too, not because of connections but because you two were always in each other's houses. Once, you broke your arm falling from a tree you tried to climb following Han, his mother had to call yours and calm her down on the phone the entire time your mother was driving to the hospital to meet you. That day you got scolded by both and after they finished the lecture they looked at each other and smiled, bonding over the fear of something happening to their precious child.

When they went out to buy some coffee and talk, Jisung sat by the side of your hospital bed, lips pouting and tearing up.

"I'm sorry I dared you to follow me all the way up there", he says, taking the hand of your good arm and holding it.

"It's okay, now at least I have an exciting story to tell the others", you say and he smiles, whipping his eyes.

The noise of the gate opening wakes you up from your daydream, you have to stop thinking about Han if you want to get over him.

The kids come running in your direction the moment the housekeeper opens the door.

"Miss Y/N, look I got a 9.5 on my test", the girl smiles brightly showing you the paper with the grade marked in red.

"Woah, Misu, you're so smart, I don't think you even need me anymore", you bend to her height and she pouts, sometimes she acts like a little child when she's already 12.

"Of course I need you, you're the prettiest and smartest person I know", she says and you hear someone clear their throats by the stairs. It's Misu's mother.

"If I didn't agree with her I'd be hurt", she says and you smile.

"Good morning, Mrs. Kim, I only helped a little, Misu's really smart", you say and the girl shows you her white teeth, looking at her mother and waiting for some praise.

"Of course she is", she pats the girl's head. "Eun, aren't you going to say hi to Y/N?"

The boy is a few months younger than Misu but a lot more shy. You saw him coming with her when you arrived but got so engrossed in your conversation that forgot he was there in silence.

"Hello, miss Y/N", he says, polite as ever.

"Hi, Eun, did you get a good grade like Misu?"

He nods, showing you his test with 9.8 marked in red.

"He's smarter than me", Misu pouts.

"Congratulations, Eun", you say, patting his head, making him blush and you smile. "I think you are both really smart and I'm here to help you get even smarter"

Mrs. Kim tells you to go ahead and start the lesson and invites you to stay for lunch. You were pretty lucky with the parents you met till now, all of them were nice to you and cared a great deal about their children so it's a lighthearted job to do.

The kids are indeed smart, usually you don't have to explain the same thing more than twice and they always ask a lot of questions during your time with them.

A week goes by since you last saw Jisung, fortunately he didn't try contacting you. You're sure that if he did you'd break hearing his voice and would beg for him to like you back, giving up on any pride you still have left.

You arrive at school an hour before your classes begin, you're meeting Hannah at the cafe nearby so you can talk a bit.

You look at your phone, there's a message from her saying she's on the bus but the traffic is awful so she might be a little bit late.

You choose a table by the window, contemplating if you should order already or wait till Hannah arrives.

Looking outside, you remember the moment you heard the news that you got into this university. Yours and Jisung's family were at your parents house, you both were seated on the couch when you received the message saying the college entrance results came out. You couldn't type your information, you were trembling so much Han had to do it for you.

When you read your name and the word "accepted" you actually screamed, making your mother drop the plate she had in hands. Your father and Han's came running to see what happened when Jisung showed them the screen.

Your mother and father embraced you, telling how proud they were of you and Jisung's parents did the same, like you were their own daughter.

Jisung wrapped his arms around your waist and lifted you up, spinning you and making you burst out laughing. That moment was so good, you wanted to stay there forever.

"Earth to Y/N", you hear Hanna's voice and snap out of your thoughts, sighing. "Is everything okay?", she asks, worried.

"Yeah, I'm good", you say and she narrows her eyes, knowing you are not telling the truth.

Hannah left it at that though, you are going through a hard time and she doesn't want to push it.

Honestly, she don't expect you to be fine. Your lifelong crush had rejected you and to make things worse he is your best friend, so yeah, of course you are not okay.

"Then, I'm going to order", she drops her bag in the seat in front of you, "your usual?"

You nod, seeing her walk to the cashier. You met Hannah three years ago, when you started college. She's the total opposite of you, really outgoing and a total social butterfly, it seems those are the people you attract seeing how Han is the same.

She sat by your side on the first day, making a random joke and making you laugh, that's how she became your best friend. You didn't even have to tell her about your one sided love, she had to see only one interaction between you and Jisung to know exactly what was going on.

She is the one that urged you to tell him about your feelings and was very adamant about you moving on from him, she couldn't let you waste all your 20's being in love with someone that didn't like you back… or not the way you wanted to.

"So, I heard about a party", Hannah says, putting the pager on the table and sitting in front of you.

"There's like a hundred of those, you have to be more specific", you joke and she rolls her eyes.

"You know that guy from English literature? The one that dyed his hair pink last semester?"

"Yeah, it's kinda hard to forget about him", you laugh.

When Yunho came to school with pink hair a rumor of him becoming an idol started going around, everyone tried to be nice to him and all that shit but it turned out he just lost a bet.

"He's hosting this party in like a really big fancy place to celebrate his graduation", she finishes.

"That's nice", you say, fidgeting with your fingers under the table.

"Hmmm, are we going to go or what?", she asks and you glance at her.

"Were we invited?"

"Ahm, you're hot and I'm hot, why wouldn't we be invited?"

You laugh, knowing what she's doing. Hannah is more sensible than you give her credit for, you really thought she would ask about everything that happened on that night, but instead she has been trying to distract you for the past week and that is really nice of her.

She smiles, seeing you smile. Hannah knows you never give enough credit to yourself, you never think you're pretty enough, funny enough, cool enough or smart enough even though you're those things and much more. She approached you on your first day because there's just something about you, something bright and cheerful. When people are upset, mad or sad you always do your best to make them feel better, so Hannah felt this was her time to cheer you up.

The pager buzzes on the table and she gets up, going to the counter to get your orders.

You look at her coming back with a big grin in her lips, handing you the coffee with a note glued to the cup sleeve.

"To the girl with the yellow cardigan, I see you coming here often and I think you're cute, maybe we can hangout sometime? If you're up to it, text me: xxx xxxx-xxxx"

You blush, looking at the counter and seeing the cutest guy looking at you with flushed cheeks. He's so red you can see it from where you're seated. He smiles waving at you and you wave back.

Hannah has one eyebrow lifted looking at your interaction and you feel your cheeks even hotter.

"So, are you going to text him?", she asks, reading the note and you sigh.

"I don't think so", you say, sipping at your coffee.

"Why not?"

"I don't think it would be fair to someone if I start something with them when I'm still in love with someone else", you answer and Hannah sighs.

"Yeah, you have a point", she pouts, "but like, maybe messing around a little won't hurt? I mean, he's not in love with you or anything, you can talk with each other and see where things go"

Hannah's right and you know it. Even though it's still too soon, you should try meeting new people, you're not going to get over Han just by staying away from him.

This feelings, you have it with you for so long, it's hard to let it go. Loving Han is the only romantic feeling you have ever known, it's scary to walk off of this thing you know so well  to something completely new.

You have to, though. It's the only way for your friendship to keep existing. So you nod to Hannah, taking your phone out of your pocket and dialing the number written on the cup, seconds later you're typing a message.

You: Hey, it's the girl in the yellow cardigan, my name is Y/N btw

You send and hear a ping, you thought he would have his phone on silent mode and sudden embarrassment creeps up when you see him taking his phone out of the pocket of his apron.

Cute guy: Hey, I was afraid of making you uncomfortable, so let me apologize first. I just didn't know how to approach you

Cute guy: Ah, and I'm Heeseung

You change the name in his contact before replying.

You: it didn't make me uncomfortable and thank you for calling me cute.

Heeseung: you don't have to thank me for telling the truth.

You giggle, it's interesting to feel like this, even though you can tell it's something temporary.

You: lol, you're really smooth.

"Let's go?", Hannah says, smirking at you and you blush. You nod, picking your things up and getting up from the table, you wave goodbye to Heeseung before going out and he smiles brightly at you.

>><<

The morning after you went away, Han woke up feeling awful, all the things that happened the previous night coming back at him at the same time. He was sure the moment you walked out of the door, giving him your best smile and trying not to cry was the saddest he ever felt in his entire life. You were his best friend, you were everything to him, he felt like shit because he never noticed your feelings. He doesn't know what he would have done if he knew, but maybe he could have been better, talking less about his relationships and especially not bringing his hook ups to the apartment.

He got up, feeling like crying everytime he had to pass by your bedroom door, knowing you were not there and wouldn't be for far too long, all because of him. The bell rings and he runs to the door, hoping it's you, hoping you'll tell him everything was a joke and that you didn't actually like him. Even though he knows you wouldn't press the doorbell since you know the password and he knows the hurt in your eyes when he said he didn't feel the same as you was no joke.

So it was no surprise when he opened the door and found Chan and Changbin there. They did tell him they were going to stop by in the morning to pick him up but with all the things that happened he just forgot about it.

"Are you okay? You look like shit", Changbin says entering the house.

Chan looks at Han, worried.

"Are you sick?", he asks, "where's Y/N?" He knows you wouldn't leave Han alone if he were sick, but you would have shown up already by hearing Changbin's loud voice.

"She's gone", Han says, running his hands through his hair.

"What do you mean?", Chan asks with wide eyes.

"She- she confessed to me and I turned her down", he says, maybe he should have told you he could like you back, that way he wouldn't be feeling this way and you'd still be there with him.

"Shit", Changbin says, his lips pressed in a thin line.

Han looks at the both of them, why don't they look surprised?

"You guys knew about it?" He asks, a little louder than his usual voice and the boys exchange a look. "Woah, thanks for the heads up"

He shouldn't be mad at them, it's not their fault, but he's already too mad at himself so he doesn't know where else to put the blame.

"It was not our place to tell you", Chan says.

"Does everyone know?", Han asks and Changbin nods, "so I was the only one? Am I dumb or something?"

Chan sighs, "it's not really your fault for not knowing, you probably are used to the way Y/N looks and talks to you because you're best friends since you were children, but to the people outside it is pretty clear from the get go that she likes you"

"But where did she go? Are you not friends anymore?", Changbin asks the difficult questions and Chan glares at him.

"She said she will be staying with Seungmin till he finds a roommate and then she's going to come back"

"She probably just needs some time", Chan says, putting a hand on Han's shoulder trying to reassure him, and he really hopes that's the case.

>><<

You've been texting Heeseung for a few days now and he's pretty nice, he's a dance major and works part time at the cafe to pay for living expenses the same as you do with tutoring.

Hannah had convinced you to go to Yunho's party and get wasted, saying you need the college life experience the most now that you had your first heartbreak but you don't want to think about that, you want to forget that you ever loved Han Jisung.

So you drink a whole bottle of wine before leaving for the party, Seungmin's coming with you and Hannah will meet you there. You are looking good, or maybe it's the alcohol that makes you feel good, your hair is down, you're wearing a black lace cropped top you borrowed from Hannah, with a much lower neckline than you are used to, high waisted jeans and black boots.

The party is already crowded when you and Seungmin get there and it's really a fancy place like Hannah told you.

"Let's grab a drink", you yell to Seungmin.

"You should drink water, you're already drunk", he demands and you show your tongue to him.

"Nooooo, don't be a killjoy"

He sighs, it's hard to convince you of something when you're sober, it's even harder when you're drunk.

"You can have a drink after you drink a cup of water", he tells you and you nod, sounds like a win win for you.

After drinking a whole cup of water you show it to him, waiting for a praise and Seungmin rolls his eyes. What are you, a 10 year old?

"Good job, now you can drink", he gives you a cup with something mixed in it, "but you have to drink some water for each drink you take, okay?"

"Okay, dad", you joke, sipping your drink.

Seungmin knows a lot of people at the party and you feel left out every time someone approaches him so you're really happy when Hannah shows up, with a much taller boy accompanying her.

"Look who I found", she says pointing at him.

"Heeseung?", you scream, startling Seungmin who's close to you.

"Jesus, Y/N, calm down", he says putting his hand over his ear, "I'm a singer, I can't lose my hearing", he says and you pout, whining an apology even though you know he's not really mad.

"I didn't know you were gonna be here", Heeseung gets closer to you, side eyeing Seungmin.

"I didn't want to come, Hannah made me", you tell him, "this is Seungmin, he's my friend"

He nods at the boy by your side, relaxing to hear you call Seungmin a friend.

"Hey, Minnie, let's go dance?", Hannah says and Seungmin narrows his eyes suspiciously.

"I don't dance", he answers, crossing his arms and she sighs.

"For fucking sake, just come with me", she says and Seungmin follows her without more questions, he knows too well not to mess with her when she gets angry.

"You look really pretty", Heeseung says, bending a little to lessen the difference in your height. You blush even though it's not as good hearing him saying that as it was when Han complimented you, but you're trying to get over that, aren't you?

"Thanks, you look hot too", you hiccup, you don't have a filter when you're drunk. He smiles, turning around on the table and pouring you a cup of water.

"Drink this, it's going to help", he hands it to you.

"Thank you, you're so sweet and handsome", you yell again but he doesn't flinch like Seungmin did.

"You can't keep saying these kinds of things and not want me to kiss you", he says and you smile, sly.

"Who says I don't want that?", the moment he comprehends what you just said his face reddens, and he thought he was being bold.

"Once you sober up we can talk about that", he tells you and you pout. You wanted to kiss him now, maybe if you did all the hurt you were feeling would go away. Maybe you just needed someone to make you forget about Jisung.

"But I want it now", you cross your arms, behaving like a child that didn't get their way.

"Do you like dancing?", he changes the subject. Your face brightens with his question.

"I LOVE dancing", you show him the choreography to queencard that's playing on the dance floor and he laughs at your messy steps, he's sure you're much better at it while sober.

"Then drink this and let's dance", he hands you another cup of water.

"Seungmin told me I could have a drink after a cup of water, but this makes two cups of water and no drink", you point out and Heeseung can't help but find the drunk you really cute.

"This water will help you so you won't have a bad hangover tomorrow", he says and you nod, that's a good point.

Super by seventeen starts playing and you finish downing the water, grabbing Heeseung's hand and dragging him to the dance floor.

Being a dance major, of course he knows the steps and he's so good there are moments you just stop and watch him in a daze. Actually, he knows the steps to every song playing after that too, you dance so much you're all sweaty and your legs are tired. You're totally sober now, feeling ecstatic. It's so good being at a party having so much fun.

You're jumping and smiling until you see him.

You stop in your tracks seeing Han Jisung staring at you from the other side of the dance floor, your smile fades away as soon as your eyes lock with his.

He looks sick, he lost a lot of weight considering the short period of time you haven't seen each other and he wasn't smiling like he always did. He takes a step in your direction and you automatically step away, your stomach sinking.

You're feeling your heart beat so fast it's overlapping with the loud music, you gulp feeling your legs weaken, why the hell are you having this reaction? He's the same Han Jisung you've known since you were a child, the only difference now is that he knows how you feel about him.

You can't avoid him until you get over your feelings, that won't work and you know it, you have to get used to being near him feeling nothing other than friendship, but you can't see him at that moment, you just can't. You're having fun, there's a handsome guy with you and you want to like him and not Jisung.

You grab Heeseung's hand and pull him away from the dance floor, walking outside so you can breathe some fresh air.

"Did something happen?", he asks, looking confused and worried.

"It just felt stiff in there for a moment", you say and he nods.

You didn't want to explain to him why you were not speaking to your best friend and how messed up your relationship with Han is right now. You want to forget about it and your way of doing it is right by your side, handsome and available.

"So, about that thing you said we could do once I sobered up… I'm sober now", you say and he blushes, analyzing you for a moment to see if you are telling the truth.

The last drink you took was more than an hour ago and you drank so much water after that, it's a miracle you still don't have to use the toilet.

"I don't want to do something you'll regret later", he says and you appreciate how considerate he is. But right now you don't want someone considerate, you want someone that'll sweep you off your feet and help you forget what you so desperately want to. So you get closer, caging him against the wall and tiptoeing, trying to get closer to his face.

"If you don't want to, it's okay. But if you're holding back because you think I'm drunk, I'm not", that was his cue to kiss you. His lips crashing sloppily onto yours, hands cupping your face then moving down to your waist. You wrap your arms around his neck trying to get closer than you already are. He's good, you've kissed enough people in your life to know that, yet you feel sick.

You feel bad and like a horrible person because you just know he can't compare to Jisung even though you never kissed your best friend.

You feel bad thinking about someone else while kissing Heeseung, he's so nice and sweet and you know he's not fooling around, if you give him the chance he's going to truly like you and you're only using him.

You step away sighing, seeing his brows furrowed and the confusion in his eyes.

"Was it that bad?", he jokes but you can see he's feeling hurt. "I'm not trying to brag, but I never got a reaction like that after a kiss"

You smile apologetically, looking for words to explain yourself.

"It was great and you're great", you begin, "I think you're too sweet, that's why I can't lead you on"

"What are you talking about?" he asks, even more confused.

"I'm in love with someone else and I know it sounds awful, I did try to get over him with you but I feel like you'll really like me if we don't stop right now and I'm not sure if I'll be able to be that person for you", you look at him, seeing the disappointment in his face. "I'm sorry, I'm a terrible person and you can hate me if you want"

He stares at you for a few moments, sighing and giving you a reassuring smile after.

"I don't think you're terrible, I think you're truly brave for coming clean like that", you're relieved, you were afraid he would say something mean and even though you feel like you deserve it, you're really fragile right now. "Thank you for telling me before I got too deep into this and I don't know, maybe we can be friends?"

"Absolutely, I would love that"

"So, do you want to go back inside?", he asks and you shake your head.

"I don't think so, I should probably go home", you say, you don't want to go back there to see Han again.

"Do you want me to take you home?"

"It's okay, I'm going to text Seungmin and see where he's at but you can go inside, I'm going to stay here and get some more fresh air"

"Alright, I'll see you at the cafe"

You nod, seeing him walk away. Woah, you just let that masterpiece of a man go because you can't forget about a fucking unrequited love. You curse yourself, slapping your forehead.

After that, you text Seungmin telling where you are and asking where the hell he and Hannah went, sending the same message to her and waiting for their answer.

You sit on the grass, taking a deep breath. You feel a bit sick after seeing Jisung, you never thought you'd feel that way. Never in your worst nightmares did you think you would be afraid to talk to him, maybe you're scared of talking to him and feeling nothing, what if all of this was just in your head and you just needed some time apart to figure it out?

You hear steps close to you and pray it's not some horny couple trying to fuck near you, however, the moment you lay eyes on your best friend you actually wish it was a horny couple.

You get up in a jump, your stomach sinking and your head spinning. Why does it hurt so much suddenly? It feels like your chest is being torn apart and you can't do a thing to make it better.

Jisung looks worse up close, he has huge bags under his eyes and he's too pale.

You're worried about him, even though you can't have the luxury of that. Not when your insides are all messed up and you want to throw up. You walk past him without saying a word, you can't handle this right now, but he grabs your wrist holding you in place. You don't look at him, staring at the floor trying to get out of his grip.

"I miss you", he says and your heart drops to your stomach. Why is he doing this to you? It's not like being apart from your best friend is fun to you. "Can't you look at me?", he pleads but you can't find the courage to do that yet. "Please", but he sounds so desperate, you force yourself to do it.

You look at him, he's obviously drunk. Who the hell let him drink this much?

"What is it?", you sound more spiteful than you were planning and his eyes widen, releasing your arm from his grasp.

"Do you hate me now?", he asks and you sigh.

"Of course I don't hate you, you're my best friend", you say that but for some reason it doesn't feel right, it doesn't sound like the truth.

"Can't you come back home? I feel like shit everytime I wake up and you're not there"

"I told you I need time", you say, running your hands through your hair.

"Are you going to forget about me by fucking some random dude?", he asks and you glare at him, eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

"I don't understand how that's any of your business"

"It is, because you told me you love me but you act like you never want to see my face again", he scoffs.

You feel mad, what's he trying to say? Should you keep hurting just because you love him?

"I can't sit around forever, waiting for you to look at me", you say and he steps closer to you.

"I'm looking at you right now, I- I'll be good to you, I'll like you back", the moment he finishes saying that, you can't control the tears running through your eyes.

Is that supposed to be good? He would be forced to date you so he could have you close to him?

"Why are you doing this to me?" You ask and he takes a step back startled with you tears, suddenly sobering up, "it's not easy for me to be away from you, you're my best friend, but I do have some bit of dignity left in me and I won't accept less than I deserve, even if that less is the man I love with me", you wipe your tears seeing him step closer, trying to reach your hand and you step away, "don't come close to me right now, I could never stay with you knowing you don't love me, you should know that"

You turn around trying to get away from him but stop on your tracks seeing Hannah, Seungmin, Chan and Changbin right there looking at you awkwardly. Of course, the humiliation is the cherry on the top. You pass through them feeling so embarrassed you want the earth to swallow you.

The ride home is awkward and silent. Hannah and Seungmin keep exchanging looks while you look out the window trying to figure how your life became this mess.

You really should have dated Jeongho when he asked you out in middle school, it was around that time that you realized you liked Han more than just a friend—when Haneul asked to be his date to the school festival and you wanted to punch her so hard. Maybe if you had dated that boy at that time you would have forgotten the feelings you had for your friend, maybe you would have brushed it off as some childhood crush, but no, you rejected Jeongho while Han went with Haneul to the school festival and you third wheeled the whole event earning nasty glances from her every time your best friend played two times the same game so he could win you a plush too.

Back then you still thought everything would be okay, if only you had him everything would be okay.

You start bawling without notice, crying so much you can't even breathe. Seungmin stops the car and Hannah gets to the back, hugging you and caressing your hair while whispering that everything will be fine and you really want to believe her.

You don't know how you got into Seungmin's apartment, you guess he carried you inside after dropping Hannah home but you're not sure. It's sunday so he's not up yet for you to ask and it doesn't actually matter, what matters is the absolutely pathetic scene you made at the party and in the car. You want to bury yourself into a hole and never come back, how the hell are you going to face your friends after they saw you being humiliated by Han like that?

You know he was drunk, of course he was. You know he didn't mean it, he was hurt and drunk and people act on feelings not reason when they are like that. But does he think you have no pride? Does he really think you would date him knowing he doesn't like you back?

It's different when you confessed to him, you knew he didn't like you that way. But if he told you that there was something there, that he was not going to promise you anything but someday he may like you back, that's all you needed to hear. However, that didn't happen. He told you with all the words that he doesn't like that way, that he doesn't feel the same way as you do, there was no room for interpretation, no room for what if's.

You get up, in need to distract yourself. This week is going to fly by, you have tutoring lessons using up all your free time so you just have to get through the day.

There are a lot of messages on your phone, you really don't want to read them because you know that other than Hannah's, it's awkward comforting words from your other friends.

Hannah: call me when you wake up

Hannah: let's go eat something delicious, what do you think? It's on me.

Hannah: are you still not up or are you ignoring me?

You: I just woke up, calm down girl

You: why would I ignore you though? I just have to brush my teeth and eat something then I'll call you.

Binnie: morning babes

Binnie: Hannie is such an asshole

Binnie: I'll date you if you want, you're hot it's a win win for me

You chuckle to Changbin texts, he's so sweet in the weirdest way.

You: I mean, you're hot too

You: I think we'd make an awesome couple

Chan: good morning, Y/N

Chan: we didn't hear anything last night, so please, don't be awkward or embarrassed around us.

You: good morning Channie, I know you heard

You: you should have matched your story with Changbin before texting me though

You: it's okay, alright? Of course I'll be embarrassed for the time being, but we're friends I won't be embarrassed forever.

You leave your phone on the couch and go to the bathroom. You look like shit, smeared makeup, hair disgusting and you're still wearing the same clothes. You turn on the hot water, taking your clothes off and entering the shower, the warmth embracing you as you feel more relaxed.

You put on something comfortable, it's Sunday, you're going to ask Hannah to come by and you're going to order takeout.

You call her number while eating because you know she's anxious.

"Hey babes, good morning", she picks up, cheerful as always.

"Good morning", you say, biting the toast you just made.

"So, what about going out and eating something really good?", she asks.

"Hm, I'm actually not in the mood to go out? Can't you come by, we order something and watch that movie you've been bugging me for the last month?"

"Yeah, sure. We can do that", she answers and you are happy she doesn't sound upset or disappointed. With all the shit you're pulling lately you're scared your friends are going to get tired of your bullshit and stop talking to you. You used to think no one wanted a friend that's always crying and whining, but they showed you that real friends help each other.

"So what time are you gonna come?"

"I will just take a shower and wait for the bus, so in maybe like an hour?", she guesses and you nod forgetting she can't see you.

"Okay, see you then"

You decide to clean the house while waiting, Seungmin is pretty organized and clean so there's nothing too difficult. You'll just wash the dishes and vacuum a little.

Hannah arrives later than she predicted, Seungmin is already up and cleaning his room. He scolded you because it's his day to do the dishes and you shouldn't have done it because it's not fair to you.

You think he's being extra nice to you because of what happened the night before and it's true, he was really scared when you cried in his car.

He has known you for almost five years and he never saw you cry like that, even on the night you came to his house after confessing to Han you didn't cry like that. This time was different, you had a soul crushing cry, he wanted to stop the car and go to the back to hug you the same as Hannah, but he knew you were already being comforted by the perfect person.

Han is his friend, he could never choose between you two. But he couldn't deny it, that was a dick move, how could he ever say that to someone that likes him? He basically told you that he could pretend to like you if you stayed with him.

And of course, Seungmin understands the fear of losing a friend, but doing what he did just increases the chances of you never wanting to see his face again.

You are seated on the couch, watching the movie Hannah is obsessed with at the moment. She already watched it five times alone and asks anyone she can find to watch it again with her, she even repeats some sentences together with the characters.

The pizza you ordered is almost gone, you didn't know you were so hungry until the smell hit your nose. Luckily or thanks to Seungmin and Heeseung, your hangover is not that bad and you want it to stay that way so you keep drinking lots of water.

You got through the day thanks to your friends, they kept you entertained the whole time so you wouldn't overthink or even think about Han.

You are doing that just now, looking at the ceiling in the dark room. You want it all to be a dream, maybe you would wake up tomorrow and still be in middle school, you'd take the opportunity and get over him at that time, that would have spared you of some big problems.

----------------

A/N: So, I don't know how many parts this fic will have. If you like what I write please reblog or let me know in the comments, feedback give me motivation to keep writing.

#stray kids #skz #skz imagines #skz x reader #stray kids imagines #skz fluff #stray kids scenarios #skz x y/n #skz x you #stray kids x y/n #stray kids x reader #stray kids x you #skz han jisung #han jisung angst #han jisung x reader #han jisung #han jisung x you #han jisung x y/n #skz han #skz jisung #stray kids han #stray kids jisung #jisung x reader #jisung x you #jisung x y/n #skz masterlist #stray kids masterlist #skz angst #stray kids angst #skz scenarios

[mjolnirswriststrap]

Just Another Notch

Masterlist Part 2/??

Bucky Barnes x Plus Size F!Reader

Summary: If Bucky thinks his charms will work on you, then you’re gonna put up one hell of a fight to prove him wrong.

Word Count: 1,711

Warnings: None, but will contain explicit content 18+, in future chapters, read at your own discretion.

Your alarm didn’t wake you, it was a loud knocking at your door. You jump up, tapping your phone screen to see that it was only 6am. Now you’re gonna be groggy all morning, your alarm was set for 6:45. You trudge to your door, ready to rip down whoever it was that woke you up. When you open the door you see Bucky with bright eyes, two coffees in hand. You quickly read the label and see that it’s your favorite cafe in Brooklyn. How did he get coffee from there this early?

“Good morning.” He chirps out, reaching one of the paper cups forward. You cross your arms in front of you, refusing the coffee. “How can I help you?” You say curtly. You take in his attire, he was ready for training. You could almost laugh, him and Steve take their sponsorships too seriously, can’t be seen exercising in anything other than Under Armor.

“I still felt bad about last night and thought, maybe I could repay you by helping you get a head start today.” The smirk on his lips did nothing to ease your agitated mood. “I said we’re even, it’s fine.” You say, wondering if he was being genuine. It was far too early for all of this. You rub your sleep filled eyes, pushing your hair behind your ears. “Anything else?” You say, wanting to get some more sleep before the day of literal hell you were about to endure. Physically, you were the apex, but mentally and strategically, not so much.

You couldn’t wield a gun, you’d been studying a makeshift dictionary of all the military terms Steve and Bucky say during missions. You couldn’t take directions. Besides overpowering the strongest guy in Kansas during a championship, you’d never learned how to combat fight. You have no clue where to hit someone or how hard so you don’t do fatal damage. You were written up on your first mission.

Your adrenaline was pumping and you thought the gunman was bigger than what he was, causing you to dent his chest in, instantly killing him. The punch was meant to lay him out, not kill him. You’d been reminded time and time again during initial training that the goal was to subdue, shield rehabilitates these criminals.

So now training was mainly a mental game for you. Sizing people up, you were no use against magicians or witches but physically, you worked hard to discern people’s capabilities. You’d never trained with Bucky or Steve before. You’d never fought against a super soldier, you couldn’t even imagine their strength. Therefore, you’d never opted to train with them.

“No, I’m sorry for waking you.” He says, his eyes tell a completely different story. But you hear some sincerity in his voice. Maybe you were being too harsh to him. He really hadn’t done anything wrong, yet. You were the one who assumed he was drunk, you were the one who enjoyed him innocently helping you clean his mess. If you put aside all your wild ideas, Bucky had actually been very nice to you.

While no one had made any progress in talking to you or really even introducing themselves, Bucky was willing to sit with you and enjoy a bowl of cereal, alone. No other outside force willing him to be there. He’d apologized after spilling milk on you, helped clean it. He wasn’t even looking, and you were speed walking behind him, what if it truly was just an accident. Here you were being rude to the only person who’s shown you kindness.

You wanted to hit yourself. Mentally you were painting your back porch red. Guilt was slowly filling you as you watch him drop his head, nodding as if he’s finally realizing the situation, you wanted him to leave. But not anymore, “Let me get dressed, 5 minutes!” You wait for him to look up at you before you close the door in his face, you could see his smile return, but this time it looked triumphant and genuine.

You want to play this game with him, you knew that much. So why not make a big move and wear your new sports bra set with matching spandex shorts. You’d never worn just a sports bra, and always wore leggings. Your best friend convinced you that you looked good in it, so Nike gladly took your money. This would surely prove your suspicion, were his intentions innocent?

You looked in the mirror, pushing and pulling at your breast in the tight spandex. Your cleavage had to be perfect for this to work. You rolled down the waistband of the shorts, letting it show off your curves. You run to the bathroom to do your morning routine. Walking out of your door in less than the 5 minutes you estimated. You had no idea why you had such a pep in your step. As if you were rushing back to him.

“Thanks.” You say taking the coffee from his hands. He stands there frozen as you turn for the elevator, he watches your ponytail sway across your shoulders, then he lets his eyes travel down, to see your back dimples on display. This one he would fight for, his improvised plan didn’t work last night, he’ll admit his ego was hurt a little by his advances not working. So he gave you another chance with coffee this morning.

It almost didn’t work, he was showing real sadness when you rejected him again, but out of self pity, not because you were being rude. But it worked, and you folded. Judging by the way you’re dressed, he knew you were playing along with him. He would win in the end, he always does. Besides, you’d be an adversary opponent and the best prize.

You wish you could’ve told him black coffee wasn’t really your style, but you had too much pride, sipping it empty on the way down to the training floor. Bucky would probably go left to the gym, and you’ll go right, to the simulation room. It was handy for someone like you. Training with real people was a liability, so holograms it was. “See you later.” You nod to him.

“Where you going? I thought we were training together.” He sounds disappointed. “Oh you meant like the two of us? I thought it was a wake up call, not an invite.” You scratch the back of your neck, kind of embarrassed. “I figured you could use the change of scenery.” He laughs.

You follow him into the gym, a place you’d only been once, during the orientation tour. It was huge, needing the capacity to handle super hero’s being thrown around. Bucky walks over to a bench, setting down his coffee cup and shedding his windbreaker jacket. You toss your empty cup in the trash can beside the door, slowly walking up to him. “So what did you have in mind?” You ask, nervous as to what exactly you had gotten yourself into.

“First some basic warm up drills, then I figured I could help you with that strength depth perception.” He grabs two jump ropes from the wall and tosses one your way. “Fury was worried about you at the last meeting.” You roll your eyes, of course he was.

“I didn’t know you discussed me at meetings.” You say, starting to jump rope. He joins you a second later, going miles faster than you. “We discuss everything, especially things that could be a liability.”. He wasn’t wrong, it rubbed you wrong that you couldn’t defend yourself at these meetings. But you understood why they did it, you killed a man.

“Right.” You huff out, stopping and dropping the jump rope, you had no endurance. Bucky continues for another minute, the rope turning into a blur as it whizzed around him. You ran the track around the perimeter of the gym, till you legs felt like jelly. Again, Bucky kept going, literally running laps around you.

When he came to a jog in place in front of you, you took in the fact that no sweat had formed on his brow, meanwhile you left a puddle in the floor when you stood up. “Okay, let’s start with defense.” He brings his fist to face level and you match his stance. “We both know you have offense covered. But what about protecting yourself. Other people are strong too.” He made a good point.

You had beginners luck, dodging the first punch Bucky threw at your stomach.

The second, not so much. You suck in a breath when his metal fist makes contact with your rib. “You’re supposed to block!” He sounds upset, like was the one who just got hurt. “Yeah I got that.” You wheeze out, dropping to your knees, clutching your stomach.

Just as you’ve almost composed yourself the door to the gym swings open. “Are you ready for complete destruction, son?” It’s Steve walking in, but his face immediately drops when he sees you. “Excuse me.” He’s obviously embarrassed. You just look at Bucky and try to hold in a laugh. “Seriously?” You whisper, his cheeks are red but he nods.

“I’ll take that as my cue.” You say, waddling over to the vending machine in the corner. The blue on the Aquafina label reflected in your eye. You’re gonna die if you don’t get a drink. You tap your Apple Watch to the card reader, typing in A5, as you watch your water bottle be mechanically maneuvered around through a glass window you hear whispering. “She needs a snack already?”

You don’t know who said it, just that someone did, you didn’t turn around. Preferring to pretend it didn’t happen, you grab the water from the machine, drinking the whole thing in a couple chugs. You smash it between your hands, completely flattening it to the width of paper. It was loud, the cracking of the plastic, it silenced their hushed words. As you toss it into the trash can beside the door, you turn around and address both men.

“Thirst and hunger are two different things, wouldn’t you say?” And you leave, pushing past Natasha in the hallway as you make your way to the simulation room.

Taglist: @cjand10 @winterslove1917 @honestlywork @calwitch

#avengers fanfiction #bucky barnes #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky x reader #avengers #bucky barnes x y/n #bucky x y/n #fanfiction #fanfic #mcu #james bucky barnes #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes x female reader #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x plus size reader #dark bucky barnes #dark bucky x reader

[blacknedsoul-blog]

An unnecessarily detailed analysis of Lenore's face when she realizes how gay she is

(Someone thought to tell me that I wrote "incessantly" instead of "unnecessarily" the last time I did this? Didn't they? You people are terrible).

These two vignettes make me crack up. Partly because it's always funny to see Miss "I can pick fights with the Deans, but thinking about my crush makes me nervous UwU" panic, but also because it's impressive how many things have just clicked in Lenore's head at this point.

Like, this girl must be feeling like when you finish a puzzle. A very gay one.

What she knows so far

At this point, as far as Lenore knows, she and Annabel have not seen each other again. There was a goodbye, and she is aware of how much that hurt her. For me, there are two possibilities:

In this flashback, Lenore has realized that she is in love with Annabel, but it is an unrequited affection.

She interprets these feelings as "oh, I'm attracted to her because she was my only friend and she was painfully ripped out of my life. Yes, friends. Very good friends.

Personally, I prefer to interpret it as the second option (you will see why).

On the other hand, it's impossible not to see how willing Annabel is to give and receive affection when it comes to Lenore: in this scene, she tries to say goodbye with a kiss,

And when they're in the closet, she literally throws herself at her.

And I want to point out one thing: Lenore doesn't remember a romantic relationship, but her body seems to: she instinctively strokes her hair when she cuddles her, even though Annabel didn't ask her to. They have done this before. There is a familiarity to this interaction.

Finally. Lenore learned chapters ago that she burned down her house, stole her dead brother's clothes, cut her hair to look more like a man for…something. She doesn't know what yet, but it had to be something important.

And she remembers it when Ada opens her mouth.

(parenthesis: that comment also makes me laugh a lot, like, Ada, dear, if you knew the CRAZY things this woman has done for love).

Please, appreciate this gay panic

If Lenore had any doubt about her feelings for Annabel (assuming option 2), it has been completely erased: she is in love with her. There is no acceptable way to rationalize this as anything else. She was in the past and she definitely is now. That's what draws her to her, that's why she desperately wants to confide in Annabel, that's why her affection seems familiar.

As if that were not enough, Annabel has that ring on her. Not only has Lenore just been hit by the reality of her own feelings, she has just realized that her love is reciprocated, this is not a one-sided crush, they are going to get married. Suddenly, these invasions of her personal space are understood for what they were: an attempt to have a physical relationship on the terms one would have with a romantic partner. Because Annabel was not her friend.

She was her fiancée.

Also, because Lenore is too pure a cinnamon roll for the world, she must be wondering how much she hurt Annabel with this: how she dodged her attempts to show affection, how she doubted her, and, the icing on the cake, that comment:

And all this mental cocoa is perfectly condensed into the expression she has in these two vignettes.

Honestly, the scene is perfect as it is, with no dialogue, but you can almost hear her thinking, "I…I did…I told my fiancée we're friends, blaze".

#nevermore webtoon #annabel lee nevermore #lenore nevermore #white raven #annabel lee whitlock #lenore vandernacht #annabel lee x lenore #lennabel #If this comic were a comedy I see Lenore arriving with a bouquet of peonies and a box of scones #“Sorry baby I forgot about our engagement. Will you marry me again?” #In my heart Annabel wanted to beat her head against the wall when Lenore told her they were “friends”

[corrodedcorpses]

Boys on Film. Part iv

Pairing: PS!Steve x PS!Eddie x Virgin!reader

Summary: It's been a year since you last saw Eddie and Steve. The last place you expected to see them again for the first time was at a club while you were out with your new boyfriend. The night does not go how you imagined it at all.

Warnings: Smut (18+ MDNI), public sex (ish), fingering, angst, cheating (sorry)

Word count: 6.8K

a/n: I hope this kind of makes up for the ending of the last chapter but also I'm sorry in advance. (also as always a massive thank yous to my babies @andvys @wroteclassicaly @usedtobecooler @bimbobaggins69 for all of your help I love you all so much)

Taglist is closed but if you want an update on when I post the next chapter you can follow my fic account @corrodedcorpsesfics and turn on notifications🖤

Part 1 // Part 2 // Part 3 // Part 4.5

Steve and Eddie stare at your closed door that had just been slammed in their face moments ago. It had all gone so wrong, so fast. Neither of them had meant for it to go that way or to fight like that with you. All of their (and your own) long harboured emotions coming out during the fight, all of the love turning into hate in order to protect your hearts from - what you all assumed - would no doubt be rejection. 

Eddie is the first to break eye contact with your door. Scoffing and walking toward his van as Steve leans his head on the door, closing his eyes trying to will you to open it again. He’s almost sure he can hear tiny sobs coming from the other side and it feels like his heart is breaking all over again. 

He can hear Eddie behind him, pacing and grumbling out “shit”, “fuck” and mumbling “that was so stupid” over and over again. Steve is frozen in place, he knows as soon as he breaks away from your door that it’s all over, that he’ll have to face the reality of what just happened. He doesn’t know if he can do that yet. 

A loud smack, that was obviously Eddie’s palm hitting his car, finally jolts Steve out of his self pity. He finally turns to him, watching as Eddie continues to pace and mumble expletives under his breath, his ringed fingers running through his hair with so much force Steve thinks he’s about to rip it all out. 

“Eddie,” he tries, too quietly as the other man doesn’t stop. 

He glances at your door one more time before sighing and walking up to Eddie. 

“Eddie,” he says more firmly, standing next to where he continues to pace, “come on man-”

“Don't you ‘come on man’ me,” Eddie interrupts, whipping around to finally look at Steve,  “what the fuck was that, Harrington.” 

Steve flinches at the use of his last name, something Eddie only uses to tease or hurt him. 

“What the fuck was what, Munson?” Steve throws his own surname back at him with just as much venom, Eddie squinting his eyes into a glare. 

“All that,” Eddie explains, wildly gesturing to your house, “bullshit you pulled in there. ‘At least you wouldn’t have been a virgin in your twenties’,” he mocks what Steve had said to you. 

“The bullshit I pulled?” Steve almost shouts back, “What about you, huh?” He asks, a finger poking into Eddie’s chest to reiterate his point. “You didn’t break that shit to her gently at all! No wonder she went straight into ‘defence mode’.”

 Eddie just rolls his eyes at him, even though he knows Steve's right. 

The action only angers Steve more. “I wasn’t even in that stupid argument until you dragged me in with your bullshit about hanging out with King Steve.” 

Eddie visibly cringes at the memory of using Steve’s old title, one he knew Steve loathed and has done years of work to be anything but. But, Eddie couldn’t let Steve ‘win’ the argument. If he did he would have to admit that all of this was his fault. 

“Whatever,” Eddie scoffs, “the argument only turned nasty as soon as you put your 2 cents in! The shit you said was just—” Eddie pauses, remembering how Steve had teased him for not ‘making a move’ on you sooner, saying everyone thought you were Eddie’s ‘property’ during high school, outing him for scaring away anyone that dared to get close to you because he knew that weren’t good enough for you, “mean.”

Eddie whispers the last word. The only word he could come up with to express how he felt, how that whole argument transported him right back to his teenage years, something he truly thought he had gotten over from the help of you and Steve. Something he obviously was far from getting over. 

Steve’s demeanour changes, he can see the hurt in Eddie’s eyes, the sliver of vulnerability that he’s been hiding behind his rage. He understands the weight that one word holds.

“I didn’t intend for it to be mean, I just, I don’t know, it just–-” he’s taken aback, stuttering through some sort of an explanation, but there isn’t one. He was mean. 

“It’s like you wanted to hurt her,” Eddie continues, but he doesn’t mean just you, “hurt me.” He whispers so softly, he’s sure Steve wouldn’t even hear him. But Steve does.

“What? Why would I want to hurt someone I love!” Steve says too quickly in response, eyes widening when he realises what he just said, what he just confessed to Eddie. But when he looks at Eddie he only sees hurt in his eyes. 

Eddie still doesn’t think Steve heard him say ‘hurt me’, so he takes Steve’s confession as a confession of love for you, not you and him. 

Eddie just laughs with no humour, shaking his head. “I was fucking right, I fucking knew you hadn’t changed – you’re such an asshole, man.” 

The cogs in Eddie’s head turn, thinking back to how Steve had said all those things against him, no doubt finally seeing his opportunity to put a wedge between you both, so Steve could finally have you all to himself.

Steve just stares at him in shock as whatever fragments of his heart that were left break even further. He didn’t think Eddie loved him back but there was some part of him that had hoped, that had at least thought Eddie would be nice about it, gentle with his heart even if he didn’t want to keep it.  

He didn’t think Eddie would laugh in his face and call him an asshole. 

“Wow,” Steve says to himself in disbelief, “okay.” He feels the tears well up in his eyes as his chest physically aches from all of the heartbreak tonight. He doesn’t want Eddie to see him break down, he'd no doubt laugh at his misery. 

He starts to walk away from Eddie, it’s the only thing he can think to do. It’s only a couple of miles to his house, the air isn’t too cold and it’s not too late — he can easily just walk home, he thinks. 

“Steve?” Eddie questions as the other boy starts to hurry away from him, “Steve!” He tries again, an air of worry in his voice as he calls out, “Seriously? You’re just gonna walk away from me too huh?” Eddie yells. 

“Whatever man,” Steve yells back, already at the end of your driveway, stopping only when his shoes hit the road to look back at Eddie, “you basically just rejected me so, I don’t need this shit anymore.” Steve spits, mentally cursing the way his voice wobbles as he says it. He continues down the road, needing to get as much distance between him and Eddie before he can finally break down. 

“What?” Eddie says too quietly, he realises when Steve doesn’t respond, “rejected you?” he shouts this time. But still Steve doesn’t stop. 

“Steve! Would you — shit,” Eddie curses. He’s so confused about what Steve meant, he’s so confused about this whole evening but he needs to know. The tiny sliver of his heart that is holding onto hope needs to know what Steve meant. 

Eddie runs around to the drivers side and launches himself into his van. Cursing when the engine turns over way too many times before it finally roars to life. He swings out of the driveway like a madman, thanking the universe that you live on a quiet street. 

He catches up with Steve quickly, slowing the van down until he’s driving right beside him. He’s happy he never listened to you and Steve about needing to roll his windows up. 

“Steve, would you just stop,” Eddie pleads. 

“No,” is all Steve replies.  

“Steve,” Eddie pleads exasperatedly, “what did you mean?”

But Steve doesn’t answer and he doesn't stop walking. He hopes if he ignores Eddie long enough that he will just leave him alone.

And he thinks his plan worked when Eddie suddenly drives forwards down the road. But, those hopes are shattered when Eddie parks a little bit ahead of Steve and hops out. 

Steve finally stops walking as he sees Eddie running towards him. He should just turn around and walk away, circle back around at the other end of your street, it’s a longer way to walk but at least he wouldn’t have to see Eddie. But he doesn’t, his feet won’t let him move. He sees Eddie rushing towards him and his whole body aches for Eddie to just hold him as he breaks down and melts into his arms.  

When Eddie finally gets to Steve he’s quick to invade his space, cupping his face tenderly in both of his hands. Eddie searches Steve’s eyes, he can see the unshed tears threatening to spill, the hurt and the tiny bit of hope Steve also holds. It’s enough for Eddie to ask again, even if it could mean more heartache. 

“Steve,” he whispers so tenderly, it makes Steve’s knees almost buckle, makes it even harder to not just fall at Eddie’s feet and beg him to love him back, “what did you mean?”

Steve swallows, hard. He looks into Eddie’s big, brown, pleading eyes. He knows he’s about to get his heart smashed, completely obliterated when he explains himself, but he can’t stop his mouth from moving. God, he would do anything Eddie asked while he cradled his face so delicately and looked at him like that. 

“I basically just told you I wanted you,” he whispers, eye’s never leaving Eddie’s “a-and you just told me to, to get fucked.” He closes his eyes trying to will his tears to stay at bay, the last sentence coming out all wobbly as he tries to stop his bottom lip from trembling. 

“Steve…” Eddie says in a way that has Steve opening his eyes again. He’s met with confusion and yearning swimming in Eddie’s beautiful brown orbs. “You want me?” Eddie asks in disbelief, “I - I thought you were talking about her!” It comes out like a question, like a plea. 

“I was,” Steve says, and he can see Eddie’s eyes start to fall, feel his hands on his cheeks loosen, Steve is quick to grab Eddie’s wrists, keeping his hands on his cheeks before quickly continuing, “I was talking about both of you, idiot.” He says the last word fondly, with a hint of a smile dancing on his still trembling lips.

Eddie can’t help but return a small smile of his own. Steve wants him too. He leans forward to capture Steve’s lips with his own. It’s the only thing he can think to do in the moment, the only thing his body will let him do. Steve returns the kiss immediately. It’s soft, so soft that it sears their lips, all of the passion and pent up feelings and anger from the last hour coming out in the way their lips and tongue dance together so slowly. 

Eddie finally pulls back after they’ve run out of air, resting his forehead against Steve’s. “I like you too,” he whispers, just in case it wasn’t obvious, revelling in the way it makes Steve smile, “I like you both too.”

Steve pulls back to look at Eddie properly, he can see the mix of happiness and regret all over Eddie’s face. 

“Oh.” Steve says. It’s all he can say, he sees the whole argument differently now, sees how stupid they both had been. He realises why Eddie said and did what he did and regrets the things he said to him. Knowing how much more they would have hurt now. 

“Yeah, ‘oh’,” Eddie replies. 

“We're idiots.” Steve sighs. 

“Yep.” Eddie agrees. 

“Should we… go back inside?” Steve asks.

Eddie shakes his head knowingly, “give her some time, trust me.” 

He thinks back to all the times you showed up at his trailer door, sheepishly asking if you could spend the day or the night or the weekend when you were upset. Always claiming to need space from your family after you fought. Eddie never realising what you needed wasn’t space, what you needed was him. 

But you never told him that. 

So, they do give you time. They give you a day to cool off, to sit with your thoughts before they call, but are only met with silence in return. They try again a day later — and again another day after that. They try to go over to your house a week later but you’re either not there or are pretending not to be. 

They try again and again and again until trying every day turns into every two days, which turns into trying every week, which turns into trying every now and then over the next couple of months. The last time they tried was months later when they had had a particularly rough day and just needed you. 

All of this was met with silence. 

You weren’t sure what you expected when you kicked them out, but you hadn’t expected them to just leave. You had expected them to at least come back later that night or the next day. 

Not call you late the next night like that would make up for anything and you didn’t expect it to take them a full week of calling before coming over to try and see you. 

All of this just seemed to cement the idea in your head that they didn’t care about you as much as you'd been stupid enough to believe they did. 

You didn’t realise how upset and borderline distraught this had also made them. You didn’t realise how upset they were after every failed attempt. How they had both sat on the kitchen floor in their new apartment months later and cried, surrounded by half unpacked boxes after that final time they tried, and failed, to call. Because none of this felt right without you.  

And they didn’t realise how you’d done the exact same thing on the floor in your kitchen that night, cursing yourself for not just picking up the damn phone this time.  

******* 

You hold the two dresses up against your body, one at a time. Trying to decide between the black — tight, revealing and super uncomfortable or the dusty pink — a stark contrast, more modest, cute and comfortable. 

You’d spent the last hour getting ready for your date with your boyfriend of about 6 months, Bradley. He was… nice… and fun… and, well, a good distraction. It was nice to feel needed. But, you know deep down that it ultimately won’t go anywhere.  

There’s just something… missing. A spark? Passion? Familiarity? The fact that he’s not Eddie or Steve?

You groan at yourself for even having that thought, dropping the dresses back on your bed as your eyes land on the picture on your dresser next to your mirror. It’s a cute photo of you, Eddie and Steve, faces squished together and giant smiles plastered on your faces. A photo you still can’t bring yourself to get rid of. 

You sigh and flip it over as you seem to before every date, the picture somehow making you feel guilty. As if the two people in the photo hadn’t completely broken your heart. But you know you’ll just put it back to its original position as soon as you get home again. 

You shake yourself out of your thoughts, before you make the mistake of going down that black hole of missing them once again. You decide to just go for the revealing, uncomfortable dress — knowing Bradley would probably like it more, praise you for showing off the curves you mostly hid from him. 

You’ll hopefully be too drunk to feel the discomfort anyway. 

*****

The club is loud and packed when you arrive with Bradley, the bass and the stench of spilled sugary drinks overwhelming. You clutch the strap of the purse that’s across your chest nervously, there’s a split second where you want to turn around, hightail it out of there and cuddle up at home by yourself instead. You from a year ago would’ve, but you’re not that same person anymore. 

“Drinks?” He yells at you over the music. He’s at least courteous enough to keep a tight arm around your waist, hugging you in close to shield you slightly from the rowdy party goers who already had one too many to drink. 

“Please,” you yell back before you both make your way to the bar. Winding through the growing crowd of rowdy people, his hand heavy on your skin, feeling out of place. 

You rest your forearms against the bar, wincing at the sticky feeling underneath. You watch as the bartenders flit around, making the various overpriced, overly sweet drinks for the other patrons who arrived long before you. 

Your eyes wander as you wait, taking in the neon signs behind the bar, the shelves of alcohol with countless cheap labels, smiling as you see two girls overly excited to see each other, the guys next to you obviously getting rejected by the girls standing in front of them, the couple that can't seem to keep their hands off each other at the very end of the bar –- wait. 

Wait.

You stare at the couple for longer than you should. Your brain taking a second to catch up with your eyes. You can only see the back of the guy as you take in his dark clothes, the chain bracelet on his wrist, the tattoos littered along his pale skin, the bats adorning his forearm, the long mop of curly brown hair- No. No no no no no. 

Eddie?

Your head starts to spin, and not just from the overwhelming atmosphere of the club. Why is he here? Why now? Why is he with a girl? You curse yourself for even thinking that last part and for the pang of jealousy in your chest. You’re here with your boyfriend, you can’t be getting jealous of the guy who broke your heart being here with some other girl. 

Even if he was your best friend for all of highschool, the only person who got you through that hell hole, one of the only people you’ve ever truly trusted, truly loved, who you definitely still love more than your own boyfriend as much as you try to pretend you don't, whose back is doing more things for you than your boyfriend has the whole time you’ve been dating, who kisses so much better than him, who looks really good right now kissing… Steve?!   

It’s only then that Eddie turns slightly, giving you a glimpse of the ‘mystery girl’. You feel like you’re gonna be sick. What are they doing? Here? Together? God they look so good. 

All thoughts fail you as you’re mesmerised watching them. The way their bodies press against each other, how Eddie has both hands lazily in Steve's back pockets as Steve's hands fist the front of Eddie’s shirt. Your cunt aches at the way their lips move together as though they’ve done this a thousand times. 

They probably have done this a thousand times, you realise. They way they are standing, so relaxed with each other, like there's no hurry to the makeout session, like they have all night.  

You're confused and hurt as you watch them. You can’t help but wonder if they’re together, they make a hot couple afterall. But you can’t help the awful feelings that that realisation arises. All of your fears from a year ago come flooding back, you were right. They never wanted you.  

Before you can fully spiral you see Bradley’s hand wave in front of your face, it’s then that you realise he’s been talking to you and you see a stressed bartender give you a forced yet polite smile, as they wait for you to tell them what you want. 

“Hello? y/n?” He asks, concerned. 

“Huh?” You reply, dumb, unable to take your eyes off of them — it’s all your brain can come up with as a response, too absorbed in the scene taking place just feet from you.

“What would you like?” He asks, like he’s already asked you multiple times. You rip your eyes away from them, focusing on Bradley’s face that’s still soft and full of admiration, as if you hadn’t been actively ignoring him. As if time hadn’t just stood still, as you watched on in what could only be described as devastation.

“Oh-- ah-- just my usual,” you say finally, glancing back at Eddie and Steve. Watching as Steve’s hand curls into Eddie's hair, it’s longer now, you realise. I wonder if it would still be as soft or if - you shake that image out of your head. “Maybe some shots? Patreon or tequila, you like both right?” You add quickly.

Bradley seems surprised but compiles, ordering one of his own. You take the small glass in your hand, bringing it up to your lips, the strong smell already paralysing, before downing it as fast as you can. You make the mistake of glancing at Eddie and Steve again as you do, finding yourself making eye contact with Steve, realising they’re both looking at you now. You almost choke on the drink in your mouth, wincing at how the liquid burns more than usual as it slides down your throat. 

You grab your drink and Bradley's hand, quickly leading him to the dancefloor. Needing to get as much space between you and the boys as possible. 

Eddie and Steve watch you take the other guy's hand with dark eyes. You spare a glance back seeing Steve’s angry eyes as Eddie whispers something in his ear. 

Angry? What does he have to be angry about? 

You weave in and out of the crowd as they stumble and bump into you, the alcohol making them stagger on their feet and spill their drinks haphazardly on the floor. The further you get lost into the sea of people the more you try to shake Steve and Eddie out of your head, determined to still have a good time despite the anxiety that has wrapped its way around your chest. 

Once you’re almost in the centre of the dancefloor, safely concealed by the thrawl of dancers, you turn to your boyfriend. You pull him in close, rocking your hips to the sound of the music and giving him a forced smile. 

You dance with him for a while, getting lost in the music as you feel the alcohol seep through your body. Although it does nothing to settle the ugly feeling deep in your stomach. As much as you try you can’t help but spare little glances around the club, not being able to stop yourself from aching for just one more glance at them. 

You finally see them, startled by the fact that they’re only a couple of people away from you. Steve is the only one actually dancing but Eddie is happily swaying with him, more than content with and touching Steve and placing gentle kisses all over his neck. Your chest tightens further at the need to tease Eddie about finally dancing, the realisation that you can’t joke with him like that anymore and the jealousy that he would come out to the dancefloor with Steve, even though he never would for you. 

As these ugly emotions swirl around your stomach you realise they’re both watching you, stealing glances the same way you are, but a lot less subtly. Your blood boils at the looks they're giving you, they seem hurt and angry and almost… sad? They have no right to. 

You turn your attention back to Bradley, you make out and grind against him, every now and then looking at them both and winking when you see them clench their jaws. 

You’re confused as you continue your show. What do they have to be angry about? Why do they even care that you’re dancing with someone that isnt them? There was a time when they could’ve had you, a time when you would’ve done anything for them but they were the ones who threw you away. They have no right to be angry now. 

Bradley leans down to whisper in your ear, you’re hopeful that he’s going to say something hot, a compliment or something, instead he lets you know he’s going to get more drinks, leaving you alone in the crowd before you can say anything else. You try to not look anxious about being alone in such a dense crowd of strangers, knowing Bradley is going to take a long time with how packed it is. 

You find some comfort knowing that Steve and Eddie are close by, although you’re not sure why. You decide to continue dancing, doing the most to look as hot and unbothered as possible, but when you spare another glance at Steve and Eddie you’re surprised to find they’ve also gone. It’s weird how their absence has made you feel more alone than Bradley’s. 

You start to leave, deciding to head outside for some fresh air before going to find Bradley where he’s no doubt still waiting at the bar. That is, until you feel hands lightly on your waist. You start to panic, until you hear the stranger whisper in your ear. 

“Hey there, little one.”

Eddie. 

Your body shudders at hearing his voice again. You have to fight every nerve in your body to not melt back into him, turn around and wrap your arms around him and cry into his chest. But you don’t, you're frozen in place instead. 

“We liked that little show you put on for us, sweetheart,” he continues as you feel his hands massage small circles in your hips as he presses himself closer to you, you can feel the outline of his semi against your ass and it takes everything in you not to moan at the feeling. 

He starts to rock you both to the music before pressing gentle kisses along your neck. So feather light you’re not sure if you’re actually imagining them, just some mean trick your mind is playing on you. You start to melt back against him, your body betraying you as it’s automatically drawn into the safety of Eddie’s chest and arms. 

You let yourself get caught up in the feeling before reality comes crashing down. You have a boyfriend, he has a boyfriend, you can’t be doing this. You snap out of the weird trance you’ve been in, pulling away from Eddie and finally turning to face him, fully preparing yourself to tell him off before you see the look on his face. 

It causes your breath to hitch as you see the pure lust written all over his face, his blown and glassy pupils staring into your soul and the possessiveness buried deep inside them that makes your thighs clench. 

You go to take a step back, needing space between you both but your back collides with another chest instead. Another set of lips brushing your ear as they whisper lowly to you.  

“Don't be like that, honey.” 

Steve. 

Your head swims at the proximity of both of them. The familiar smells and feel of them crumbling whatever stubborn exterior you were trying to portray. 

You feel Steve's hands run along the sides of your waist and down your thighs before tracing light patterns back up again, your dress pulling up at the sides as he does. He pushes against you as Eddie had, although he is a lot more worked up from your little show than Eddie was — a testament to how he always was more of the jealous type. 

“Can you feel what your little show did to us baby?” He asks like you’ve wounded them. Eddie pushing against you at the same time. “You’re so fucking naughty, getting us all worked up like that.”

“Anything to say for yourself, miss?” Eddie asks when you don’t respond right away. How could you? Your head feels like it's about to spin off your shoulders, your cunt feels like it’s about to start dripping down your thighs, they’ve thoroughly wrecked you with no more than some gentle touches, barely any grinding and a couple of words whispered seductively in your ears. 

You only manage a small moan in response, one that you’re thankful only they can hear over the loud music. 

They both chuckle at your response, knowing they have you right where they want you. Loving how fucking easy you are for them. 

Steve’s fingers continue to dance along your thighs as Eddie’s hand comes to rest on your waist again, both of them pressing into you and swaying you to the music, causing their hardening cocks to grind against you.  

Steve's fingers slide to the front of your dress, tracing up the inside of your thighs as you let out a little whimper. Steve smirks against your skin as he starts to kiss up your throat as Eddie had just before. Your eyes start to flutter shut as Steve’s fingers inch higher, so close to where you desperately need him. 

“That feel nice, pretty girl?” Steve asks, although he already knows the answer, “want me to keep going?” 

Eddie keeps his eyes trained on your blissed out face, sucking on his bottom lip as he anxiously waits for your answer. 

You nod your head slowly, words failing you as you melt back into Steve. 

“Ah, ah,” Eddie tuts, “you know the rules princess, use your words.” 

“P-please.” You barely breathe out, and Eddie’s sure he would’ve missed it if his eyes weren't glued to your lips. 

He nods at Steve, who groans as his fingers finally make contact with your dripping cunt, feeling the slick that’s soaked through your panties. 

Eddie holds your waist tighter, half keeping you upright as your legs start to shake, half shielding you from any onlookers as he continues to sway his hips, making it look like you three were just dancing.

Steve dips his fingers into your underwear, moaning in your ear as he gathers your slick on his thick fingers before rubbing your clit.

“Fuck, you’re dripping,” he teases, “this is all for us huh?”

You can only nod and whine in response, too far gone to be embarrassed by how close they were getting you already. No one except for Steve and Eddie have been able to get you this close this fast. 

You feel the coil in your stomach tighten further as Steve's thick digits breach your aching cunt, finding a steady pace immediately, his palm dragging deliciously over your slick clit. Eddie’s grip on your waist becomes so tight you’re sure he’s gonna leave bruises that you’re going to have to try and explain to Bradley later, but you can’t bring yourself to care. You’re happy that he’s at least holding you somewhat upright as your knees start to get weak. 

Eddie presses further into you still to keep you upright, so far that Steve can feel Eddie’s hard cock pulsing against his hand even through his jeans. Making Steve’s cock ache for some sort of release as he starts to rock gently into your ass. Craving some relief. 

You feel the familiar feeling of your orgasm approaching as you teeter on the edge. Only able to get out small sputters of “I’m, I’m—” before you’re burying your face in the crook of Eddie’s neck as your orgasm comes crashing into you. 

Your ears ring and your vision goes white as you ride out your orgasm around Steve’s fingers, rutting against his hand while clinging to Eddie. 

When you finally start to come down from your high you’re barely aware of the music still blaring around you, focusing only on Steve’s hands rubbing soothing circles in your thighs, Eddie’s hand in your hair and their praises gently flowing through your ears. 

Suddenly, reality hits you like a truck. Completely cracking the walls of whatever weird dream you’ve been trapped in with Eddie and Steve. Suddenly everything seems too much, their touch is suffocating and grating against your skin, the music of the club is blaring too loud, rocking your skull and their sweet whispers might as well be screams in your ear. 

You need to get away. 

You finally look at Eddie, his eyes meeting yours. He knows that look. 

“y/n-,” he tries as you start to squirm out of their grip. 

“Let me go”, you suddenly hiss at him, finally breaking free and rushing through the crowd and out the door. You hear them yell after you, but you keep going, their voices being drowned out by the music the further you get away from them. 

By the time you finally make it outside you feel as if you can hardly breathe. Your chest is so tight and you struggle to take shallow breaths, you can feel the unshed tears prick your eyes as you try and will them to keep at bay. Although you’re not sure why, you’re almost certain your makeup must be a mess now, most of it left on Eddie’s collar, you doubt a couple of tears would really make much of a difference. 

You shakily reach into the clutch still thankfully secured across your chest, fishing out a smoke. You put one between your lips as you try, but fail to find your lighter. You sigh in frustration, of course you’ve lost your lighter. 

“Here, let me.” You hear someone whisper, before you see the flicker of a lighter in front of your lips. You don’t have to look up from your clutch to know that it’s Eddie. Your eyes meet his timid ones as you lean forward, using the flame to light the end of your cigarette. 

“Thanks,” you mumble before looking beside Eddie, realising Steve also followed you out here. 

You all stand in awkward silence, Eddie busying himself by lighting his own cigarette. 

“I– ah,” Steve finally breaks the silence. There’s so much he wants to say, so much he needs you to hear, but the words won't form, instead he opts for, “didn’t know you smoked.” 

You snort half a laugh, shaking your head. You weren’t sure what you were expecting him to say but it definitely wasn't that. Sorry would have been a good start… but at least you’re talking, you guess. 

“There’s a lot you both don’t know about me anymore,” you reply, deadpan. You see them both visibly flinch at the implication of your words. It's been over a year since they last saw you, you've had a whole year's worth of experiences without them, would they even recognise the person you'd become? 

You bring your smoke back up to your lips, thankful for the distraction it provides and for how it's almost calming most of your nerves. 

It doesn't, however, distract you enough to not feel their hungry eyes on you. You're surprised your dress doesn't have holes burnt into the fabric with how hot and heavy their gazes are. You adjust your dress with your free hand trying to pull the fabric down, cursing yourself now for wearing the revealing dress. 

You don’t want them to see you squirm, you need to keep up this teasing, nonchalant act you were trying to portray, you couldn't let them know how much seeing them again was hurting you. 

“See something you like?” You slur seductively at them, not shying away from their eyes. Even as your palms sweat and your heart rattles in your chest. 

They both chuckle and shake their heads, not in disagreement but at the absurdity of your question. Of course they did. You looked stunning, confident. In a dress you usually would be too shy to wear. It was nice to see you like this, but it was also weird. 

Not weird in a bad way, it just hurt. It hurt them to see that you finally seemed to be growing into yourself and hopefully finally seeing how beautiful you were. Except it was without them. 

“You seem… different,” Eddie finally managed. He couldn't think of a better way to put it. Not better, not worse, just different. But that's what heartbreak will do to a person. 

“I am different.” You say back, no hidden meaning behind it, like it’s that simple. 

They were different. You were different. You’d just grown away from each other. You’d all changed and grown in the year that had passed, in the year that you had all ached for each other. Now here you were, and it felt like you were talking to strangers. 

You had a picture of them on your dresser that you saw everyday, and yet it felt like those two men were different from the ones that stood in front of you now. 

It makes your whole body ache. 

You want to fill the silence, distract yourself from the heavy feeling. You want to mess with them, annoy them, make them even more jealous and angry and hurt than they’ve already seemed to have been tonight. 

“Trust me,” you say finally, “I’ve had lots of experience since you last saw me.” You wiggle your eyebrows suggestively, trying to joke around with them as if it’s no big deal. 

You see their jaws clench. Eddie fights the urge to scoff at you, to roll his eyes, to scream in your face. Steve is a little better at hiding his distaste at what you’re insinuating. Both knowing they have no right to feel as hurt and betrayed as they do right now. 

You’re not theirs. 

“Well, they must be some lucky guys then.” Eddie tries to speak sincerely. It comes out like venom. 

“Hmm,” you hum, revelling in their reactions. Trying to think of what else you can say to rile them up like this. “And girls,” you say with a wink. 

Lies, it’s all lies. 

You had drunkenly kissed one girl out the back of a club after too many drinks. She was nice and soft and tasted like vodka and raspberries. But that was it… just a kiss. 

The furthest you’d gotten with your current boyfriend was some grinding and heavy touches. Always stopping before it got too far. He was always respectful of that, something you appreciated. 

They look at you stunned. You could see their brains working a mile a minute. You could tell they were imagining something much more lewd than reality. Victory. 

Desperate for this conversation to be over before they pried and realised you were talking all of your experiences up to be something much more, you stomp out your cigarette. Giving them a small smile that said ‘are we done here?’ as you started to walk away. 

Before you can get too far you feel a hand desperately grasp your arm. You know it’s Steve before you even turn around. 

You see his mouth open as he struggles to find the right words to say but you don’t want to hear it. You can’t. 

“Don’t,” you interrupt, before he can even say a single word. His mouth closes as his hand reluctantly lets go of your arm, brushing the skin of your forearm as he drops his hand. You curse your body for the goosebumps that appear along the trail of his fingertips. 

You’re about to turn around again when you decide to ask them just one thing. Something that’s been weighing heavy on you since you first saw them at the bar. 

“So, um,” you start tentatively, rubbing your hand over the arm that Steve had just touched, unsure if you’re trying to warm yourself up or wipe away the memory of his fingertips, “how long have you been dating?” 

They share a look before Eddie slowly mumbles, “a little over a year.” 

A little over a year. 

The same amount of time since your fight. The guilty looks on their faces let you know it was very shortly after they broke your heart. So while you were alone, completely breaking and having to put yourself back together again all by yourself, they were just having the time of their lives? Starting a new and exciting relationship? Typical. 

“Of course you have been,” you scoff. Turning abruptly and stalking away from them as fast as your stupidly uncomfortable heels would let you. 

“Y/n wait! It’s not like tha–“ Steve calls after you, desperately trying to catch you before you run off once again. Like he’s worried this time you’ll be gone for good.

“Just leave me alone!” You practically yell. You feel bad for raising your voice and how it makes them flinch but finally, they let you go. 

*****

Taglist: @pxrxcxa @eddiemunsonfuxks @translatemunson @bandofoxxking @munsonsbaby @corrodedhawkins @chainsawmunson @divinelyruled @parkermunson @bimbobaggins69 @eddiemunsonspantschain @hammity-hammer

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#eddie munson #steve harrington #steddie #eddie munson x reader #steve harrington x reader #eddie munson x female reader #steve harrington x female reader #steddie smut #steddie x reader #steddie x reader smut #eddie munson smut #steve harrington smut #eddie munson fanfic #steve harrington fanfic #stranger things fic #stranger things smut #eddie munson angst #steve harrington angst #steddie angst #boys on film

[macfrog]

state-of-the-art sex on fire chapter two

*chants* ceo joel ceo joel ceo joel

part 2 to you shook me all night long!!! massive credit to @whore-4-pedro again for the concept this is SO much fun. work trip coming soon babies!!! masterlist here, ao3 here 💓

pairing: ceo!joel x fem!reader

summary: joel’s had a rough week at work. you figure you know the perfect way to relieve some of his tension

warnings: 18+ (minors dni!!!) more teasing and touching, oral (m receiving), getting handsy in public + fingering, unprotected semi-public piv sex, creampie, daddy kink, softdom!joel, age gap (reader is late 20s, joel late 40s), cursing, workplace relationship

word count: 6.6k

series masterlist | main masterlist | playlist

The stretch is too much; he’s all the way in down to his knuckles, curling and then uncurling his fingers deep inside you. Your hips are slowly circling by instinct, rutting against his hand as it fucks you, sending fluttery waves of pleasure all over your body. You ball up your fist, nails digging half-moons into the skin of your palm, attempting to fight the tidal wave fast approaching as Joel’s fingers snap harder into you, a third beckoning your orgasm nearer and nearer. You’re there – right where he wants you, almost throwing your head back with the feeling he’s giving you. And then you make the mistake of looking at him, catching that ever so Joel smile when, shielded from the others by his hand, he breathes, “There’s my girl.”

The black mug. Not the one with the gold handle – that’s one of Martha’s. She doesn’t use it much – at least not as much as the one with her granddaughter’s face printed on it – but she once left you with a stack of paperwork to shred all by yourself just ‘cause you made yourself a tea in it.

No. Just plain black all over. No words, no pictures. Plain. Black.

Few spoonsful of coffee into the filter, hard granules sprinkling over the white paper. Close the lid, flick the switch, and then wait for it to brew. Once it’s done, fill the mug almost to the top – until the coffee kisses the bottom of that one chip in the ceramic. No sugar. No sweetener. No nothing.

Just plain black.

“Thanks, darlin’.” Joel takes the mug carefully from your hands as you wander over, then you perch yourself by his side on Martha’s desk. He takes a sip and nods like usual, confirming what you already know.

You make a damn good cup of coffee.

“You’re worth, what, a few hundred million? You can’t buy a better coffee machine?”

“’s wrong with that one?” he asks, mug on his bottom lip.

“Works like it’s from the eighties or something.”

Martha clears her throat behind you both. “I am gonna give you five seconds to explain what you mean by that.”

“I mean…it’s not exactly state-of-the-art, is it?”

Joel’s jaw drops dramatically. His head wobbles like it’s about to implode, hearing what you just said. “You hear that, Martha? We ain’t state-of-the-art anymore, you ‘n me. We’re older ‘n that coffee machine, you know.”

Martha’s shaking her head, clicking away at her computer.

Joel nudges your arm with a soft chuckle and you sigh, turning away to watch the four men in his office; stood an awkward distance apart, small talking, pacing, adjusting their suits. One of them is messing with some trinket on Joel’s bookshelf.

“You think they’re nervous?” you ask, and he laughs from behind you.

“I reckon they’ve a lot to be nervous about.”

“Was it that bad? On Monday?”

Joel had spent the better part of four hours locked in that conference room, right after you two – you know. He was late for lunch by the time he was ushering them out, collars loose, jackets slung over arms. It was probably a good thing you’d tired him out a little beforehand, or he’d have been way more unforgiving than he was.

Three departments in Joel’s company have gone over budget. It isn’t a huge deal. He has the money. Just, he wants the right people in charge of it, and right now…he clearly doesn’t have that. Honestly, you hate to admit it, but it makes sense. You’re kinda on Joel’s side.

He’d given them to the end of the week to come up with action plans, figure out how to undo the mess. This is the end of the week. This is supposed to be the big reveal.

Joel runs a hand through his hair, palm hooking around the back of his neck.

“Wasn’t great,” he mutters.

You knew that much. You’d asked what he wanted to eat as he passed your desk en route back to his office, and he’d waved his hand and told you to order whatever you wanted with his card. When his door closed, you glanced over to Martha, who shrugged, and went back to playing solitaire.

You figured he wasn’t down for more sex. He didn’t reappear until five o’clock, when he walked you down to the street, carrying your jacket for you, and helped you into your cab.

The elevator dings and the brass doors separate, revealing a figure behind.

George Mackley. Short. Stout. Obnoxiously bright red tie. Head of marketing.

He waddles in a hurry toward the three of you, nodding curtly to Joel as he passes. His shaking hand fumbles around the handle of the office door, which he pulls on instead of pushing, and gives an awkward chuckle before rushing inside.

“Fuckin’…finally,” Joel grunts, passing you his mug and standing up.

“Should I order my own lunch again?” you ask, looking up at the man stretching his arms out before you. Like he’s about to go in and punch sense into them all.

You’d probably love him to do that. It’d make for some great sex afterward.

“I’ll be takin’ a lunch break,” he replies, tapping your knee, “whether we’re done or not. Be out at one.”

You nod, and he stalks off to his office. His mug’s still warm in your lap. You’re still staring when he enters the room, watching how all five men immediately file into the couches across from his desk just at the sight of him. Watching how Joel’s lean figure sits back against his desk, his ankles crossed. His arms folded at his chest. His broad shoulders beneath that tight white shirt.

He has that way about him. Commanding, confident. Strong. It’s probably what convinced you to fold, if you’re honest. Sure, he’s kind, and he’s a good boss, all things considered. He’s funny. But he’s cool. It takes a lot to shake Joel.

This meeting? It’s not shaking him. He’s barely even giving these guys enough attention to sit up straight. He’s so damn breezy, so laidback that when he pushes off of his desk and stands up, you give a small gasp.

You lift his mug, drinking from the same spot his lips touched only minutes ago.

“Thought you hated black coffee,” Martha murmurs.

“Stress sipping,” you reply. “Fucking hell…”

Joel’s erratic. Waving his arms, pacing around the room. You swear the men cower as he approaches; shoulders hunched and heads low until he’s past them.

He looks…Yeah. Fuck it. He looks a little shaken.

Martha tuts. “Shouldn’t be idiots with his money.”

“He has money, though,” you offer. “Like, this ain’t that big a deal, is it? He can afford to go over budget sometimes.”

“Joel doesn’t like anyone messin’ with what’s his,” she tells you. “Doesn’t like other hands on his toys. It’s not the overspending he’s pissed about. It’s the crossin’ the line.”

Your eyebrow cocks. She can’t see your expression, and good thing, because it’d probably give you away. Doesn’t like other hands on his toys.

A flash of movement from Joel’s office drags your eyes from the dregs of his coffee back to the transparent wall between you. He’s whipping the shades closed one by one, putting a barrier between his office and the outside world.

It can’t mean anything good, right? It doesn’t look like they’re about to sit in a circle and braid each other’s hair. Sure as hell aren’t about to see Joel’s good side.

“I gotta go in,” you declare, lifting off of Martha’s desk like you’ve taken flight.

She calls your name, almost tired of your antics. “I don’t think that’s a good idea…”

But you’re already scooping up a notepad, slipping it under your arm and fishing a pen from your desk. Already walking over to the office door, hearing the dangerous hum of Joel’s voice through the wood.

Your knuckles rap three times. You don’t wait to be called inside. Just push the handle down and slip in.

He’s stood against the frame of one of the windows, hands in his pockets. When you materialize from behind the door, his face relaxes. Brows loosen, jaw slackens. Lips almost tug into a smile.

“Sorry I’m late.” You sidle over to his desk and sit down in his chair, biting on your bottom lip, casting an unsure glance around the room.

Five pale faces turned to you. George Mackley looks like he’s about to weep.

Joel thanks you and then steps forward. “So, Ken, we were at last month’s sales.”

“Uh, yeah…” Ken draws his gaze from you when Joel moves in front of the desk. As he waltzes by, he spins slowly, giving you a look as he passes.

Kill me, he mouths, rolling his eyes. You smile, looking down at your blank notebook. You’re not here to take the fucking minutes. You know that, Joel knows that. You’re only here so he has something to keep him from losing it. Something to sit and look pretty, and calm him down.

Also: you kinda want the gossip. What the fuck did these guys do with all of Joel’s money, right?

Almost two hours in, a dozen games of tic-tac-toe against yourself, and one very crude drawing of Monday morning’s activities, Joel startles you by slamming a file down onto his glass coffee table.

“And you think that’s a solution?” he spits, voice laced with fury.

“Joel, you gotta see it from my side. I’m managing thirty people down there, it’s–”

“’n I’m managing five idiots from up here. Mackley,” he turns to the face as red as the tie below it, “you got anythin’ else for me?”

George Mackley shakes his head. His hair’s unkempt; it was gelled flat to his head when he arrived, but his hands have been through it more times than Joel’s lapped the office.

“Alright. Y’know what,” Joel seethes, backing up and motioning for them to stand, “everyone out. Meeting’s over. Go.”

“Joel–” A tall man with blue eyes stands up.

“If you ain’t about to offer me somethin’ that can fuckin’ fix this mess, then shut your mouth and get out of my office. All of you.”

The men sheepishly collect their briefcases, their documents, themselves, and stand, filing out of the door one by one. You rise from Joel’s chair, taking your notepad between your fingers, and slowly wander around the desk.

He’s standing with his head in his hands, shoulders swelling with his breathing. Does he want you to leave, too? You don’t want to rile him more; certainly don’t want to be the first face his angry self sees. But you want to make sure he’s okay. Want to check on him.

Plus, he’s kind of hot when he’s pissed.

You’re tottering toward the door when Joel drops his hands from his face, notices you, and says, plain as the coffee in his mug, “Not you.”

You turn back, pushing the door closed behind you.

“Didn’t mean to yell.”

You don’t reply. Your hand lifts to find the lock blindly behind your hip, and you click it. Now there’s nobody, no one to disturb you both. No one to walk in, no one to see.

You approach him.

He’s still talking: “Didn’t want you to have to hear all that. I spoil your morning?”

Your head shakes and you mutely take his hands, leading him around to his chair and pushing him back into it.

“Baby, what–”

You part his legs with your own, his fingers still interlocked with yours. Then you think he gets it. Understands where you’re going.

You sink to your knees between his thighs.

“They were bein’ idiots,” you say, fingers undoing his belt. “’n you didn’t spoil my mornin’. You gave me a little bit of excitement.”

Joel’s breath shudders as he watches you tug his belt through the loops of his pants and drop it to the floor. Still, he laughs, and asks, “Is that so?”

“N– Oh, fuck. Not like that. Like–” You pause, breathing out a sigh.

Yeah, okay. Like that, if you want. I’m down if you are.

His pants are open, lying loose on his hips. The waistband of his boxers visible. You hook two fingers over it and peel it down a fraction, following Joel’s happy trail as it grows thicker and darker, when he puts a hand over yours and breathes your name.

“Relax,” you mutter back, nudging his hand off of yours. “Just let me take care of you.”

His head falls against the back of his chair and his shoulders sink into the leather. You pull on the elastic and take hold of the base of his cock, already stiff, slipping it out from beneath the black cotton.

Joel’s knees fall slack when you take a hold of him. Two hands, because he’s so fucking big. Your fists pump him a few times, feeling him harden in your grasp, warm skin rock solid in your hands. You lean forward on your knees, thick bead of saliva falling from your lips onto his head, dribbling down his smooth shaft.

Joel’s watching through hooded lids. Caressing your hair, petting you. Your fingers collect your spit and drag it up and down him, and you swear he almost fucking whines.

Almost isn’t enough. You want to really hear him. So you slacken your jaw, part your lips, and slide them down, tongue flat against the underside of his length as he fills your mouth. Joel’s fist tightens, pulls harshly on your hair for just a second, until he’s breathing out again in relief, body relaxing to the feel of your wet tongue around his hard cock.

“Don’t need to – do this, babygirl.”

“Mhm,” you mumble around him.

“Fuck…” he whispers.

Your elbows are hooked over his thighs, holding yourself up in place between his legs. He tastes salty; skin warm, smooth. Your tongue flickers over his head, collecting precum, and Joel groans.

You pull off of him and lick your lips.

“What you gonna do?” you ask, fingers squeezing and dragging saliva and Joel’s arousal up and down. “About the budget stuff?”

His chest is heaving, hips lifting out of the seat almost like he’s trying to put himself back where he belongs. “What…can I do?” he asks through desperate pants. “Can’t – fuck – can’t drum sense into ‘em.”

You wrap your puffy lips around his tip, kissing it, tongue playing with him again. Swirling around, gathering him on your tastebuds. “Why don’t you cut ‘em loose, then?”

Your head dips again, lips sucking around his shaft, tongue still darting around his swollen head.

He can barely fucking answer. His eyes close over and, with a groan either side of the sentence, he replies, “’s not that easy, baby. Fuck. Keep doin’ that.”

You loosen your lips enough to let your reply pass them. Your voice is muffled, thick. “Sounds easy to me.”

“Shut up,” he grunts. “Keep fuckin’ – usin’ your tongue.”

You obey, running your tongue up and down his length and coming to rest to pay more attention to his tip.

“Yeah, just like that. Good girl.”

You hollow your cheeks and let your lips trickle up and down for a bit before releasing him with a pop. Joel’s writhing underneath you, leaning almost horizontal in his chair.

“Gonna cum, daddy?”

He nods, eyes still screwed shut. “Yeah, pretty girl. You want it down your throat again?”

“Mhm.”

“Fuck – dirty girl.”

It’s all the encouragement you need. You widen your jaw, taking him in your mouth in full, until he’s choking you down to what feels like the bottom of your fucking neck. You fuck him with your throat, bobbing up and down, his fist in your hair pushing and pulling even though you don’t need him to. Your mouth meets the skin at the base of his cock over and over, dark hair brushing against your glossy lips.

Joel’s moaning each time, when his cock kisses the back of your throat, when you involuntarily choke around him, when your tongue drags along his length as he pulls you up and down. And soon his breathing loses rhythm, hips tense, and you know he’s there.

He cums, hard, at the back of your mouth. Warm release spilling out over your tongue, neatly running down your throat as you wait for him to still. His cock throbs with each shot of cum, swelling and jerking between your lips. When Joel sinks back into his chair again, you slip him out of your mouth and back under his boxershorts.

Your head lulls to the side, resting on his big thigh as you swallow him with a smile on your lips. His grip on your hair loosens, turns instead back to soft stroking, chest still panting as he comes back down. You watch him through glazed eyes; his shoulders rising and falling, breaths passing his lips like waves at the beach.

He’s twirling your hair gently around his finger, looking down at you like you’re made of twinkling gold dust.

Eventually, Joel takes a deep breath and sits up straight, beckoning you to do the same. He tucks his shirt back in, redoes his pants, then leans forward and hooks both hands under your arms, pulling you up to him.

You giggle as he lifts you onto his lap, straddling him with your knees either side of his waist. Your elbows rest on his shoulders, hands linking at the back of his neck.

His jaw turns upward, and you lower yours, your lips meeting in a soft embrace. You laugh against him, letting his tongue slip into your mouth, pushing yours into his.

“Better?” you ask once you part.

“Better, darlin’. Thank you.”

He kisses you again, a little more rushed, little less tender. Then his hands squeeze your ass and you squeal into his mouth, jumping up off of him.

You pass him his belt and lift the empty coffee mug off of his desk. “Refill?”

“Yeah. Sure. Thanks,” he says, slipping the leather through his belt loops. His shoulders are lifted, tummy sucked in as he feeds it through. He almost looks cute.

You smile and then turn on your heels, wiping the corners of your mouth as you emerge from the office.

—————

“Is he comin’, or what?”

“Huh?”

Martha jerks her head in the direction of Joel’s office. She’s stood at your desk, hands on her hips, bag over her shoulder.

“He’s…Yeah, he said he would be. Let me go check.”

You close over the budget report file you’d been reading through and shimmy out from behind your desk, trying to amble as casually as possible over to the shuttered blinds.

You turn the handle, poking your head around the door.

He’s stood at his desk, raking a hand through his hair, top button of his shirt undone. Tie sitting loose around his collar. He spots you and gives an apologetic smile.

You comin’? you mouth.

Joel points to his phone. Some panicked voice fills the silence between you both.

“…so I gave the two of ‘em a tellin’; they shouldn’t make any more purchase orders without my permission. Without your permission, Joel, I mean…And about last month’s sales, too…”

You step over to his desk, slow, suspicious. Mischief on your mind.

“Sorry, baby,” he whispers, tucking a lock of hair behind your ear.

You cock your head, brows furrowing. You’d been looking forward to lunch with Joel all day; something to take his mind off the meeting this morning.

Martha had called his favorite restaurant, they’d told her they had no space, she’d mentioned it was for Mr. Miller, and a table had magically opened up. Then you’d encouraged her to ask Deb, knowing she’d inevitably ask James, her admin assistant, and, before you knew it, your small lunch was a party of five.

Worked for you. You and Joel would probably be too caught up in each other’s company to notice the rest.

Except, the way things are looking, Joel isn’t getting off this call anytime soon. Soon meaning within the next thirty seconds, given the reservation is in ten minutes.

You’re growing desperate. Running out of time, knowing if you don’t do something to shut this guy the fuck up, your little daydream of sitting side by side with Joel, so close you can feel the heat off of him, feel his chest vibrate when he talks, maybe even feel his hand trailing up your thigh…won’t come true.

“What if you just…” Your fingers walk along Joel’s desktop, heading for his phone. “…lost…connection…?”

He doesn’t say a word, but the smirk that forms across his lips grants you all the permission you need. Your fingers clutch the receiver, lifting it barely an inch, then drop it back into its cradle. The panicked voice cuts.

“Oops.” You shrug, straightening up in front of Joel.

“Oops,” he repeats, wrapping his strong arms around your shoulders and pulling you into him again. You lift your jaw to kiss him only quickly, before you’re pushing yourself off of his chest and dragging him away from his desk.

“Sorry, Ken!” you call as Joel yanks the door open, the pair of you laughing like schoolkids.

You meet the others outside the building, huddled together at the bottom of the concrete steps. Deb puts her cigarette out on top of a trashcan when you both approach.

“Well, we thought you weren’t comin’,” she utters to Joel.

He lifts his eyebrows in response, hands slipping into his pockets, and glances around the group. “We goin’?”

“Waiting for your driver, Mr. CEO.” Martha winks.

“Aha,” Joel replies, face unmoving, “funny.”

“It’s, like, two blocks, we can walk,” you say, setting off down the street. Joel’s quick to follow, strolling at your side, but there’s a chorus of groans from the rest of your party. “Come on!” you yell over your shoulder.

“We’re supposed to be dining with the head of the fuckin’ company!” Martha cries, and Deb cackles.

“I gotta live like the rest of y’all sometimes,” Joel shrugs, walking backward, “keeps my feet rooted, doesn’t it?”

“I hate you,” you mutter, and he knocks into your shoulder with his own.

The Courtyard is bright, modern, and…beige. It’s only Joel’s favorite because it was a buddy of his from grad school who opened it, but you’re the only person he’s entrusted with that information. It’s decent food – they do a great chicken risotto – and it is always busy, so Drew must be doing alright with it.

You walk under a fake ivy plant covering the entrance, past twinkling fairy lights and to a rustic wooden reception area. Some hyper server comes bounding over and introduces himself as Jake, before Martha gives the name of the reservation and he batters it into a keyboard.

“Lopez?” you ask Martha, screwing your face up.

“Yeah. Comma Jennifer. I like to make it exciting.”

“If you wanted exciting, go for Beyoncé, or something. Lopez?”

“You really think Beyoncé is gonna come eat here?”

“You really think Jennifer Lopez is?”

She bats you away, turning her attention to Deb, who finds the JLo joke hilarious. When Jake springs off, beckoning you all to follow him, Joel leans in close to you.

“She used to use Pamela Anderson. Glad she’s evolved a little.”

You snort and follow Jake toward the same table Joel always sits at: the very back of the restaurant, quieter, separated by screens of more fake greenery. Windows looking out over the busy streets. Bare lightbulbs hanging from unnecessarily long wires over the tables.

Joel pulls your chair out for you and slots in beside you, on your right. Martha, Deb, and James – who hasn’t said or done much more than chortle at anything Joel’s said – sit opposite. Jake borderline frisbees the menus at you guys and tells you to give him a shout when you’re ready to order.

You turn to Joel who shakes his head, hand cupping his chin.

The five of you scan down the menus – at least, you, Joel and Martha pretend to. You’ve been coming here regularly enough for long enough that you know what you’ll inevitably end up ordering. James is asking Deb if the steak might fill him up too much before his squash practice later on tonight when you feel a familiar heat on your leg, and look past your menu to see Joel’s hand curving around your thigh.

You hold back a smile, pretending to be really into the laminated sheet in your hands. So long as he keeps it PG, and James keeps rabbiting on about squash being good for your hand-eye co-ordination, this is fine. This is…enjoyable.

This is exactly what you fucking wanted, when you organized lunch.

But when Jake returns to collect the menus under his arm then scurries back off, and Martha and Deb start discussing some TV show they’re both hooked on, Joel’s hand begins to rake higher. Taking the hem of your skirt with it. You suck in a deep breath, pretending to watch the two women and trying your best to listen to the words they’re saying, but he’s getting dangerously close to your–

“You ever try squash, Joel?”

“Huh?” Joel’s hand halts instantly. You exhale.

James is sitting forward, elbows on the table, nodding with a perfectly innocent smile on his face. “Squash. Yeah. I play every Friday evening, straight after work. It’s fantastic for shakin’ off that week-long stress, y’know? Not that workin’ here is a stress, but sometimes it can build up, sometimes you just need something to…” He balls his fists and jerks them, gritting his teeth.

You choke on a laugh and play it off as a cough.

Joel shifts a little in his seat, his palm still clamped around the top of your thigh. “Never played squash. More of a golfing guy.”

“That what you’re gonna do this weekend? Burn off all that stress you’ve had with a round of golf?” you ask Joel, lips almost trembling with the effort it’s taking you not to burst out laughing.

“Not what I had in mind, naw,” he almost spits back.

“Well, if you ever wanna try it, you know who to call. Squash, I mean. I mean – sorry, I don’t mean call squash. I mean call me. To try squash. You won’t find a better stress reliever.”

“Thanks, James,” Joel mutters, fingers fumbling with the cutlery on the table in front of him.

You could fucking burst. No better stress reliever than squash, right Joel? Nothing like it. Not even the one sitting next to you, her thigh under your grasp. Nope.

You’re thankful when Martha calls your name and averts your attention.

“You have got to watch it. I reckon she’d really love it, right?”

Deb nods eagerly.

“What’s that?” you ask.

They both start chirping away, describing the plot of some mystery thriller. It’s hard to keep up, what with them both speaking over one another, deciding which parts are safe to tell you and No, we can’t tell her that, that’s a spoiler, which actors are in it and how many episodes it took for them to really get into it.

Not to mention Joel’s hand, which has resumed its climb up your leg.

“There are three seasons,” Martha says, finger drawing shapes on her placemat, “and do not go lookin’ online for anything, because at the end of season two, there’s a massive death, and…”

Your thighs are bare again, skirt rolled up and held at the top of your legs by Joel’s wrist. He’s squeezing as he goes, massaging, driving you fucking insane as he adds more and more pressure. Still, your legs part for him the higher he goes.

“W-what– where can I watch it?” you ask, your eyes closing over as Joel’s fingers loosen their grip.

Deb says something, but it’s muffled. Drowned out by the ringing in your ears. Joel’s right hand sits under his chin, elbow propped on the table as if he’s musing over the weather or considering what to do with his weekend.

His left moves swiftly over to run along the elastic of your panties. Sift his thumb down below them. Fingers drop to cup you over the lace fabric. Suddenly, you’re sitting upright, your arms propping on the table, then falling to your lap, then one elbow up, then both down again.

What the fuck– how the fuck do you make this look casual? Being touched by your boss at lunch, with three colleagues sat opposite you?

Joel seems to be enjoying watching you squirm. You hear him breathe a laugh into his hand, and then his fingers begin to travel even further south, moving your panties to the side to sift through your folds.

Which are, regrettably, fucking soaked.

“Hm,” you hear Joel hum, and you can’t look at him. Knowing he’s found exactly what he was looking for. Knowing he’s achieved exactly what he set out to do.

You sit stunned, staying completely still for fear you might draw attention from your company. But then he’s dipping a finger in, pushing deep inside you, and your jaw falls loose, a silent moan escaping in the form of a sigh.

“Oh, that reminds me,” Martha addresses you and Joel, “as requested, flights organized. You leave for Paris next Friday morning, fly home Monday afternoon.”

“Yep,” you reply, shuddering slightly. “Sounds good.”

You’re not fucking listening to a word she’s saying.

“Thanks, Martha,” Joel says, as casual as if he were telling her the time. Almost bored.

You drop your hand and it clamps around Joel’s wrist; you’re sure you’re scratching him, but you don’t care. Not only does he deserve it, but it’s all you can do to stop yourself from screaming out when he inserts a second finger.

The stretch is too much; he’s all the way in down to his knuckles, curling and then uncurling his fingers deep inside you. Your hips are slowly circling by instinct, rutting against his hand as it fucks you, sending fluttery waves of pleasure all over your body.

You ball up your fist, nails digging half-moons into the skin of your palm, attempting to fight the tidal wave fast approaching as Joel’s fingers snap harder into you, a third beckoning your orgasm nearer and nearer.

You’re there – right where he wants you, almost throwing your head back with the feeling he’s giving you. And then you make the mistake of looking at him, catching that ever so Joel smile when, shielded from the others by his hand, he breathes, “There’s my girl.”

It’s the last push. The last fucking shove.

Your walls clamp around his fist, your entire body screams, a scream that forcibly dies out in your throat as you lean forward and –

You slam your fist down on the tabletop, the sudden jolt of cutlery and glass making the three opposite you jump.

“Are you– what’s wrong?” Martha asks, leaning closer.

“Cr– fuck– cramp,” you mumble, eyes screwed shut, hand still gripping Joel’s wrist. He slowly drags his soaked fingers out of your tight cunt, casually maneuvering his arm back where it belongs whilst the table’s attention is still on your head and shoulders.

“Cramp?”

“My – fucking – leg. I’ll be – right back.” You’re almost hyperventilating as you shakily stand, shoving your chair back with your legs only for it to be caught by the hand Joel had inside you seconds before.

You waddle off to the front of the restaurant, nearly breaking out into a run when you reach the hallway leading to the restrooms. The door to the ladies room bursts open and you throw yourself against a sink, gripping onto the ceramic, chest heaving, shoulders hunched. Your cunt is still throbbing, waves of your orgasm slowly losing power and retreating.

You wave your hand under the faucet and cold water automatically flows, filling your cupped hands, cooling your blood, cooling your skin when you dab it onto your cheeks. You sigh with relief, leaning against the sink, catching pathetic glimpses of yourself in the mirror.

And then, the door pushes open. And his silhouette sneaks inside. He leans back against the wall, hands in his pockets. Face with a smirk you want to slap off of him.

“How’s the cramp?”

“Are you fucking–” You flick your hands toward him, splashing him with water as he throws an arm up to dodge it, laughing. That fucking laugh.

He wanders around you, looking your shaking body up and down, and comes to a halt with his chest against your back. His chin leans into your shoulder, and you look at each other in the mirror.

It takes everything in you to fight the smile growing on your lips, but when Joel mirrors it, you can’t help it.

“Fucker,” you whisper, and he kisses your shoulder. You lean back into him, ass pressing against him, feeling something you already suspected would be there.

“Feel what you did to me?” he asks, voice muffled into the cotton of your shirt.

“Mhm,” you reply, and you drop your hand to take the outline of him through his pants.

“You wanna fix it for me?”

Your head rolls back against his shoulder, smutty grin melting across your face. “Yeah, daddy.”

“Good girl,” he tells you, lips dragging across your neck, hands at his belt.

Your fingers clutch your skirt, still hiked halfway up your thighs, and pull it further. Joel’s hands replace yours on your hips and he shoves his pants apart, lining his bulge up with your core. Then his palm is at the bottom of your back, pushing you forward into position. Your knuckles whiten around the ceramic sink.

“Fuck,” you whisper when you feel his tip at your entrance. You’re already soaked through, no need for him to take his time. Not that you have time, anyway, with three coworkers out front waiting for the two of you.

Joel thrusts forward, entering you in one go, filling you up so fast you nearly double over. He keeps a tight grip on your hips, dragging you up and down the top of his cock a few times before slamming all the way into you again, eliciting a cry from your lips.

“Quiet, babygirl,” he says, low, dangerous. “Just gettin’ you warmed up.”

“Your hand wasn’t enough of a warmup?” you throw over your shoulder, and he takes your arms and pulls you flush against him.

“You gonna run that pretty mouth the entire time we’re in here, or you gonna let me fuck you?” he breathes around the shell of your ear.

“Both.”

You bite back a whimper when his hips buck into you painfully. A telling: don’t start.

Joel establishes a pace quick enough, both of you aware you can’t take too long in here. His grunts match the rate his body snaps against yours, your panting matches the rate you bounce up and down on him.

You’re watching the sight reflected in the mirror: Joel hooked around your shoulder, lips against your ear, whispering praises and filth, and you, leaning back against him, rutting on his hard cock with a thick smile on your lips.

“Daddy…” you whine, and Joel’s vice grip tightens even more.

“Good girl,” he pants, “so fuckin’ good for me.”

It’s not long before that heat is swirling around your core again, sparks of lightning jolting through the whirlwind of pleasure Joel’s hips create between yours. You take a hold of his arms for stability as you begin to feel your orgasm crest the horizon, knowing by the sounds he’s making in your ear that Joel isn’t far off, either.

“Cum in me,” you whimper, watching for his reaction in the mirror.

He pulls a face that’s almost…defeated. Groans like you’ve given him an impossible problem to solve.

You plead with your eyes. “Cum – in – me.”

It’s like you’re pressing on the weakest part of a porcelain vase; daring it to break. Daring it to fall apart. Joel knows he shouldn’t, knows it’s more sensible not to. But the way you look, body against his, whining and whimpering and fucking smiling right back at him – the way you feel, so warm and wet, squeezing him so tight he’s surprised he’s even lasted this long…

He can’t fucking help himself.

He moans and his hands clamp on your waist, forcing you forward as he ruts into you once, twice, three times before he’s twitching deep inside, warm seed spilling out and coating your walls. Your release floods over you, then, too, your head falling forward as your legs give for a few seconds, Joel’s grip the only thing keeping you upright.

Stars in your eyes, you pull the strength to lift your head and look at your reflection; Joel behind you, face to the ceiling as he slowly stills between your legs.

Your cunt throbs, and you move your hips back and forth gently, drawing a noise from Joel that you wish you could never stop hearing.

“Baby,” he lulls, looking down to watch as your dripping cunt rocks back and forth, taking him all and then letting him go again.

It’s a minute or so before you both return to reality. Bodies still connected, Joel places a steady kiss to your cheek. You lean into him, turning to place your lips against his. You’re both hot, sweaty, it’s probably pretty noticeable you just fucked.

And you don’t care.

Joel slips out of you and backs up, letting you fix yourself in the mirror as he stuffs himself back into his pants.

“You think you can walk back to the office?” he asks, smirking.

“Call Rand,” you reply, and his head tips back in a laugh.

He nods toward the door and the pair of you slip out discreetly, you first to check the coast is clear, and Joel right behind. You walk along the hallway, heels clicking, like you’ve just come across each other right outside the restrooms.

“Hey, Joel,” a voice says from behind you both as you wander past the bar.

“Drew,” Joel replies, and shakes the hand of a tall blonde guy in all black. His t-shirt’s so tight you can make out his pecs underneath it.

“How’s it goin’? You been in long?”

“Just waitin’ for our food,” Joel says, “it’s probably out by now.” He glances over at you and your legs clench subconsciously. He introduces you then, says, “My assistant. Best assistant I could ask for,” and your lungs close up.

Drew shakes your hand and then turns back to Joel. “Don’t go without catchin’ me, ain’t lettin’ you pay a thing. How’s business?”

Joel nods. “Good, good. We’re, uh, we’re heading out to Europe next week, so.”

“Jean-Marc?”

“Yep.”

“Nice.”

“Yeah. Place is lookin’ good, same as always.” Joel glances around, pointing randomly to the light fixture above your heads.

Drew does that thing men do when trapped in a dry conversation: folds his arms, looks to the floor, and nods some more. Waiting for Joel to say —

“Alright, well. Great seein’ you again. Thanks for lunch.”

He puts an arm around your back and guides you off back to the table.

“Nice meetin’ you.” You smile at Drew as you pass and he returns it, turning back to the bar.

Once you’re out of earshot, you look over to Joel.

“Something going on there?”

“Huh?”

You scoff. “You two couldn’t wait to be away from each other. Why’d you always come here if it’s so awkward?”

“Well, if I see ‘im, I get free food.”

You slap his arm as he pulls your chair back out for you.

“Feelin’ better?” Deb asks, pushing French fries around her plate.

You nod, pulling your seat in beside Joel, who’s still laughing at himself. As you settle, you feel the warmth he left behind spill out of you a little, pooling in your underwear. And Joel seems to notice, whether from some sexual sixth sense he has when it comes to you, or just the way you awkwardly shift in your seat. He hands you a smug smirk, nudging you with his elbow.

You narrow your eyes at him and turn back to Martha.

“So, you were saying you fixed the flights for Paris?”

----------

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[mokulule]

Almanac - Chapter 2

So ya'll have given me some amazing and lovely comments on A Man has Needs (which I'm delighted was so well-received), and I had a really shitty day so I wanted to upload something. Sadly don't have energy to write, but this was already done so here ya go. Ship: Dead on Main First | Masterlist

Chapter 2 - September 25th, Uranus at Opposition

Jason awoke slowly. He felt groggy and worn like he’d gone a round with Bane and, now that he thought about it, maybe also Black Canary; his ears of all things hurt for some reason. Groaning he pushed himself up, taking in the green and black bedspread… this wasn’t his bed. He looked around; bare stone walls with a strange almost purplish tint - no windows he could leave out of.

What happened yesterday? There had been something… an emergency? Shit. He rubbed his brow hoping against hope to relieve the sharp headache there. What kind of truck hit him? Come on brain, work.

Bruce.

Bruce had called him. He breathed slowly through his nose. Urgh, his brain was like a tangled ball of yarn that had been left to the mercies of a cat. Slowly he picked at the treads, trying to untangle them. Dick had been there, and Tim and Damian. And Superman? Why was Jason on a league mission? Jason wouldn’t have joined them unless the world was-

Oh, the world had been ending.

There was an invasion and John bloody Constantine and a ritual- and Jason was a small bit of supernatural insurance but that didn’t matter because-

Because!

His head throbbed sharply and he curled up on the bed with a whimper. Shit. Why? Okay, no remembering right now. He slowly unfolded and squinted at the room, there were two doors. One by the head side of the bed, which seemed the least likely to lead outside and one opposite. He confirmed the first door to be a bathroom, which left the other to lead- He opened the door into a windowless hallway. Looking left and right he didn’t see an end either way.

The hallways had the same purple tinted stone walls as the room. It was lit by green torches, but somehow they didn’t cast green light. Instead the light that hit Jason was more blueish. He decided not to think about that and moved on.

He walked hallway after hallway. The only change was the tapestries. Since they were the only thing that changed he couldn’t help but look at them. There was a man, large and armored with a flaming crown and his hand raised with something shining from it. Jason went down some stairs and another hallway had a tapestry with the same character directing an army of skeletons and other creatures fleeing from them. This theme continued through many hallways. World upon world, the king and his army conquering all on a backdrop of Lazarus green. Then finally something changed, seven robed figures stood over the fallen king.

Jason then stood in front of a winding stairwell: Up or down?

He looked down; there was something down there…

Dazed, he took a step down, before he shook his head and walked up. He had to get out. Walking down in a building he didn’t know what floor he was on was just asking to be trapped in some sort of basement, and he’d already walked down one staircase already, when the only other option had been to backtrack.

A sarcophagus was opened and the King released. In the next hallway someone in a black and white mech suit was fighting the king and Jason blinked at the sudden genre shift. He hadn’t expected that from the tapestry story.

The next one had several people pushing the sarcophagus closed again presumably to seal the king, but one figure especially niggled at Jason’s brain - the small one, the black and white one. He was familiar. He walked faster, urgency pressing him to find the next tapestry, he rounded a corner and there!

There were two tapestries on either side of a door. The first tapestry had a purple robed figure crowning a kneeling black and white figure in front of a crowd. Several were recognizable from the previous tapestry. But Jason didn’t look at that picture long he was drawn to the last tapestry; the one who only showed the new king:

Human skin tone, compared to all the light greens and blues. Snow white hair. Crown hovering over his head, and on the index finger on his right hand where it was folded over his chest was a green ring with a skull crest. The backdrop was a nebula of colors and only on the edges were the Lazarus green. The king’s eyes were closed, but Jason knew they were green.

He knew.

And as a key turning in a lock Jason remembered. He bent over holding his head with a groan. The invasion. The ghost king. His sacrifice, which apparently meant he was to do nothing for the rest of his life. Screw that! What was the ghost king gonna do? Un-save the world? Jason didn’t think so. He needed to get out. He very carefully avoided thinking of the risk of his brains melting out his ears if he angered the king again.

The door. Jason’s eyes snapped to it. It looked completely innocuous. He had been lead here for a reason. Fight or flight? Fight his body screamed at him. His chest rose and fell, his heart picked up speed in anticipation and he reached for the brass handle. His hand closed around it, it was cold and solid in his grip. He exhaled slowly out his nose counting down.

3

2

1

He burst into the room, hands on hidden knives, ready for anything! Then he froze.

This was the room he woke up in. There was that rumpled spot on the bedsheets from where he’d slept. He grabbed his head, there had been no tapestries in the hall he stepped out in, he was sure. No he was not gonna let this get to him he had to find a way out. He stepped out into the hallway through the still open door; the tapestries were gone.

He walked the opposite direction this time, but only five turns in he stood in front of the open door again. Shaking his head he kept walking, there had to be a way out. There were less tapestries now, but every now and then there’d be a tapestry of the King sans crown fighting someone. It seemed to be some of the more prominent people that had been at the coronation and then there were some others; a large plant creature, a person that looked part tornado, someone who looked like the night sky itself.

The message was clear: give up. See all the ones who has been defeated. What do you think, you can do?

Jason punched the wall next to the most recent tapestry.

“Let me out, you bastard!” he snarled.

Predictably there was no answer, but a small part of Jason had still hoped something would happen. His shoulders dropped.

A familiar door materialized in the corner of his eyes. He turned his head to better see and yup, that was the door alright. He sighed.

“Fuck you.” But Jason was tired. He didn’t know how long he’d walked the hallways. He opened the door and walked the few steps that took him to the bed collapsing on top of it, in the spot he’d made earlier. He couldn’t be bothered to go under the covers.

Oo o oO

They say doing the same thing over and over again expecting a different result is a sign of insanity. Tim would probably argue something about scientific methods and statistics in return, but Tim wasn’t here, just Jason.

So here’s what Jason knew:

He’d sacrificed his life to the Ghost King to save the world. The Ghost King had no interest in Jason and had just dropped him in a never used room like one of those gifts you really don’t want but can’t refuse. Oh, and the castle was magical and delighted in showing him right back to his room every time he left it.

Leaving the room was pointless. Jason knew it was pointless. But Jason couldn’t just stay in this room, hence the repeated insanity, but at least out in the hallways some things changed, even if he always ended up where he started.

He didn’t know how long he’d been there. He’d lost count of how many times he’d slept. It was pointless anyway, he didn’t know if he could even count sleeps as days anyway. He was locked in a battle of wills with a fucking castle.

“For a magical castle, you’re boring, you know that?” He spoke to the ceiling. It didn’t even have any enchanted furniture or household items to talk with.

Jason wasn’t sure quite when he’d started feeling hungry, only that it shouldn’t have taken that long. Water came out of the tap in the bathroom, so at least he wasn’t thirsting. After the hunger came the lethargy. He was sleeping more and his forays out into the hallways were shorter.

The world was a hefty price to pay and maybe Jason’s suffering was just a part of his toll, but Jason would have taken being a servant or slave over this. At least then he’d have something to do. There’d be a focus, something to fight. He wouldn’t just lie here with nothing better to do but insult the walls.

next

-

If you liked this, consider commenting in the replies or tags, I hold every lovely comment dear to my heart and it's great motivation. If you want notifications for this story you can subscribe at the masterlist

#Almanac #dp x dc #dead on main #summonings have consequences #Jason thinks this magical castle sucks #Castle holds a grudge as you will find out later

[ailithnight]

*Whoops. Forgot to title and link previous chapters. Fight me, I just woke up.

A King in Arkham

Chapter 3

Chapter 1 Chapter 2

"Tim. Tim you have to get me copies of this footage." Tim is not surprised by the request. In fact, the 'Sure' is already on his tongue when he pauses, a thought creeping into his head, seeded by the notification Tim really hopes Jason isn't paying attention to in the bottom corner of the computer.

"One condition."

"Fuck you, I knew you'd want something. What? You want my cookies? Coffee? For Red Hood to go on camera singing praises for Red Robin? I'll fuckin do it. Just send me the god damn clips."

"Nope, nope, and tempting, but no."

"Name your price, Replacement. I'll pay it."

"Swear you aren't going to go rush in and extract the kid until we're done investigating him."

"What!? Fuck that! I told you was pulling him out next chance I get!" Tim lets himself groan in annoyance.

"Look, anyone that could do that-" Tim gestures to the part of the screen where they'd pulled up The Joker's medical reports following the incidents, showing pictures and descriptions of just how thoroughly Daniel had beat his ass 3 weeks in a row, "without getting so much as a scratch or fucking bruise in return, has got something going on. There may well be a reason they sent him to Arkham!"

Jason's eyes narrow at Tim as he all but growls, "No reason is good enough to put-"

"A fifteen year old in Arkham. I fucking know that, Hood. But we still need to know exactly who we're dealing with when we get him out. What his deal is. If his dangerous. What the hell was so wrong with him that someone thought it was a good idea to stick him in there to begin with."

"He could get hurt while we're sitting on our asses trying to satisfy fuckin Bat paranoia!"

"He took down the Joker! Clearly he can take care of himself."

"Then who has been hurting him!?"

"Maybe him fucking self!" Tim knew he was pushing it. The green growing stronger in Jason's eyes was proof. But he needed to buy them some time before Jason made thing exponentially harder by storming the castle. Still, now he needed to calm Jason down before he went into a full rage. So Tim held up his hands placatingly.

"A few days, Jay. Just give us a few more days. I'm already almost through the Arkham reports, and there are only a handful from Chicago and Oracle is probably going to announce any minute now that she got through the communications blackout around his home town. We just need a bit more time to sort out intel so that we actually know how to help him once we get him out."

Finally, after a tense 34 seconds, green fades back into blue and Jason let's out a heavy sigh.

"Fine. But I get to tell the Bat about Daniel's discipline slips. Wanna see his fuckin face when I do."

"Deal." Tim hurriedly puts a comm in as Jason watches with narrowed eyes.

Batman.

Red Robin. Ready to fill me in?

Not yet, you're about to be busy. I isolated a pattern earlier. Exactly 15 minutes before the locks malfunction, there's been a strange power surge. Always written off. But the surge doesn't seem to be coming from the grid. And like I said, exactly 15 minutes later is when the locks malfunction.

Jason huffs as he catches on. Apparently he hadn't thought to question why Tim was so desperate to buy time before.

Robin responds, since he's on stakeout with Bruce. Mostly because Bruce won't let him watch the asylum alone. Much as the kid hates it, the rest of the family agrees. It's only a matter of time before someone in max security manages to take advantage of theses malfunctions. So far Croc is the only one who had, though thankfully he's not one to start shit on his own. But with Joker, Scarecrow, and TwoFace all inside; any one of them, or god forbid all three, could make for a real bad situation.

Tt. So you can tell before a malfunction happens.

Think so. Last power surge was 8 minutes ago.

And you are only telling us now, why Drake?

Codenames.

Cause he spent those 8 convincing me not to go get our kid out yet.

6 minutes. See if you can stop things before they start.

I'm not far out. Want me to join you?

Tt. I doubt we'll need your assistance, Signal. We shall be done before you get here.

No wait. Signal, head in. See if you can get a read on 26B.

You think he might be meta?

Hood?

Jason glares at Tim betrayed.

"I wanted to see his fuckin face."

Tim just waves him off.

"They need to know. You tell them or I do."

Boys

Jason scowls, but relents.

He put the Joker in the infirmary on his 1st, 7th, and 15th days there. All 3 times took no damage himself. Feral child had to be pulled off and still didn't stop struggling till the clown was out of sight.

All 3 assaults followed by panic attacks, though whether about the Joker himself or what Daniel had done to him, we don't know yet.

The comms were silent for a moment.

A 15 year old...

Did what you've never had the balls to old man.

...I've fought the Joker.

Daniel hits first.

Hnn

I will admit, it is impressive that he can take the Joker down alone. Perhaps he will make for a worthy brother after all.

4 minutes.

We're moving in. Thank you Red Robin, Hood.

The fuck are you thanking me for?

For helping. And giving us time to work this out.

ETA 7 minutes out. Be with you shortly.

.

The advanced warning proved invaluable for Batman and Robin. After alerting the chief of security of their supposed pattern, he had guards already in motion when the doors swung open. Batman took a perch to watch for max security escapees while Robin assisted the guards in keeping inmates corralled. Many didn't even bother to leave their designated areas, having already seen the Bats in the building.

No sign of any max security inmates. Normally, Batman would find this concerning. And while he did file it away to ponder later why no one from max security ever seemed to make it out of that wing, for today he counted the blessing that he would not have to try to keep Robin safe while dealing with someone like the Joker.

Batman tracked motion through the crowds, watching as a black mop of hair moved, seemingly otherwise unnoticed, through the sea of people. He thought to move in to direct the person back towards where people were being herded to, but the small figure merely walked towards the B wing and entered one of the far cells. That gave Bruce a sneaking suspicion of which patient that was. He moved to get a closer look as Signal swooped in.

"Where is he?"

"I believe he just went into his cell. This way." Batman led Signal to the cell he'd seen that tiny person enter. It was indeed 26B and there was indeed a small, too small, frail looking boy lying on the bed there. A red blotch had appeared under his left eye even though Bruce was certain there had been no injury there as the boy had crossed the hall.

Signal froze beside him, breath stuttering. The boy briefly glanced at them through the corner of his eye, mouth twitching into a brief frown. Then his eyes turned back to the ceiling and his face smoothed out. Bruce couldn't help but reach out.

"Hello." The boy said nothing. Signal opened and closed his mouth, seeming to try to say something, but unable to get words out. Batman wondered what he must be seeing. "You seem hurt. Do you need help?" Eyes flickered back to him and away just as quickly.

"Nothing you can help with Mr. Batman." And oh, how Bruce hated the kid's voice. So quiet and so so hollow. Bruce's mind flashed to his children, imagining any them speaking with such emptiness. His heart clenched, wondering what could have happened to this boy to have snuffed the life out of him so young.

Duke found his voice again, just as the doors buzzed and swung shut again.

"What are you?" Bruce frowned, looking at his latest. Who was looking, as Bruce tracked his gaze, not at Daniel but at the space just above him. Daniel himself seemed to take interest all of a sudden, breaking away his upward gaze to roll his head and look at them. Confusion plain on his face, the first hint of life shining dimly in his eyes.

"Signal? Signal, what do you see?" Batman asked. Robin materialized beside them. The daytime hero stepped forward, then back, light sparking and fizzling around his fingertips.

"There's something in there with him."

Daniel looked back up, where Signal still had his gazed trained on something Batman couldn't see. Even Robin seemed confused, though he no doubt trusted Signal's meta sight.

"Don't worry," Daniel murmured, "S'just a ghost. She can't hurt you."

This 'ghost' seemed unhappy either with the teen's words or this turn of events. Daniel's head snapped back to the side again, causing Batman and Signal to wince while Robin watched stoically. 4 red scratches appeared on Daniel's right cheek, as though he had been backhanded by someone with clawlike nails. A light chill brushed through him and Signal tensed, then relaxed, his gaze finally turning from the emptiness above Daniel to the boy himself. Batman took that as a sign that the... entity, was gone.

Daniel did not react to the obvious abuse from an invisible assailant. He mechanically turned his head back, once more dead and glazed eyes returning to the cracks in the ceiling of his cell. "You should go now. The guards will come around soon to make sure I'm still here."

Bruce wanted so badly to say 'Don't worry, we'll get you out of here.' But Batman was more restrained than that. He would get the child out. But he would have a plan first. For now, Bruce placed a hand each on the shoulders of Duke and Damien, guiding them away. Only when they were back outside did Bruce let them go. Only when they were perched on a rooftop half a block away did Batman pause.

"Robin, report."

"No escaped inmates and no sign of any from maximum security."

"Good. Signal, any information on what you saw in there." Duke rubbed at his eyes.

"A ghost, I guess? I don't know. It was weird. She didn't really have an aura. It was more like, an absence of aura. Like she was a black hole, drawing all the light in."

Even behind the domino, Bruce could tell Damien rolled his eyes.

"And what of the patient, Thomas? Was he not the one you were sent to look at?" Batman bit back the reprimand for codenames, more interested in Signal's response. Signal seemed to think for a moment, then shook his head.

"He definitely had a pretty distinct aura. It... felt powerful. But it looked weak. Dim. When the ghost... struck him, it flared up a bit, but died back down almost instantly. I... I get the feeling he was holding it back. Almost like he was afraid of it. Of himself."

"Hnn. Good job Signal. Robin. You two are welcome to head back to the cave. I'll take the rest of this Arkham shift."

At that moment, the comms crackled to life.

Actually B, you may want to come in, also. Arkham should be fine. And I found why they sent the kid there.

#A King in Arkham #DP x DC #my writing #In case ya can't tell #I have no idea what the layout of Arkham is supposed to be #So I'm just kind of imagining a tv stereotypical prison layout #Two story room with double layers cells #Congregating area in the middle #Max security off in its own section #Probably not at all what Arkham is supposed to look like #But I reckon the details can be a bit nebulous for the sake of fanfiction

[justtryingtobecreative]

Neteyam x human reader

Chapter 2

(Tw: Smut, Rough, Size kink)

Link part 1 at the bottom! I think if these chapters keep going well im going to make it a 6 part story! I would love to share some more smut and actual plot with you!

It was a few hours later that Kiri came hurdling through your bedroom door, "You won't believe what happened!" She yelled before planting herself on your freshly cleaned bed.

You sat up with interest placing your book down next to you, your face scrunching up at the movement. "Well you have to tell me now!" You exclaimed trying to match her enthousiasm.

She didn't seem to notice your struggle as she leaned toward you like she was sharing the greatest secret ever, her placing her blue hands on your shoulders "Neteyam. was. in. a. fight!" She laughed loudly at her own words, "He came home like two hours ago, all bruised up!"

Your heart jumped in your stomach, "What?" You mumbled. Apparently he had found an excuse.

"Yup! He came home like he hadn't been out all night, and Neytiri about threw a fit when he wouldn't tell her who did it!" Kiri smirked. "It was very rewarding to see him rebel against the parents, he's normally such a 'perfect son'."

Jup the perfect son who had said and done the most unholy things to you just the night before...

You shook your head, feeling guilty at the thought of Neteyam having to lie to his parents. You knew he strived to be a worthy succesor, you doubted this whole ordeal had been worth the hassle for him.

You let out a sigh, "What did Jake say? Was he very mad?" You asked softly.

Kiri rolled her eyes. "Well honestly he wasn't thrilled at first, but when he heard Neteyam had won the fight and he knew Neytiri wasn't watching he just gave him a pat on the back."

You let out a sigh of relief, "That's good"

"He always gets away with so much more than us," She complained. Dramatically draping herself over your pillows, raising her head to look at you.

"Oh yes i almost forgot to ask, tommorow the other Na'vi from the clan and us are going to the Hallelujah mountains! Did you want to come?" She asked excitedly.

You gave her a doubtfull look, you really didn't want to face Neteyam yet.

"Oh come on y/n pleassee! Neteyam probably won't even be allowed to attend!" Kiri pleaded, she had probably mistaken your curiosity about her brother as hostile... not whatever it actually was.

"Okay... fine" you finally murmured, honestly suprised you were able to resist her puppy dog eyes so long.

"Good! Lo'ak said he would pick you up after dropping of spider, you better be ready Y/n because the warriors are going to do a race on their ikrans again!" Kiri ranted, you somehow catching the whole thing.

"Wait wow, they allowed them to race again? After what happened last time?" You lifted your eyebrows in suprise, suprised Jake had been so lenient.

"Well he kind of has too! It's a holy ceremony, so however dangerous it is it's still in the name of Eywa!" Kiri shrugged.

"Now do you still want me to show you my new book?" You said to change the subject.

Kiri nodded excitedly and jumped to sit beside you.

~~~

You stood in front of the human lab in the dewy morning air, droplets of water still covering the plants around you. The sun still low in the sky, casting a warm light on the landscape.

It felt strange to look at your surroundings freely without the usual glass in front of your face, the new and improved mask Norm had made 'finally' fool proof. Now it just existed of an oxygen wire and a little machine clipped too your pants.

You had taken the rest of yesterday for yourself giving yourself a much needed relaxing bath. Honestly the aching muscles and other aching bits on your body still remained, not to mention the bruises and hickeys almost everywhere. You and Neteyam hadn't noticed instantly but you were sure he was covered as well.

A whistle pierced the air, startling you as Lo'ak's Ikran landed next to you, his mouth pulled into an inviting grin "Come on 'sky demon', we need to get to the others!" He yelled holding out a hand toward you, lifting you up to sit behind him.

Your dress thankfully covered any other hickeys and bruises as your legs were mostly unharmed. You had put on a blouse over it, the thin fabric covering your neck and arms nicely.

"You allright y/n? You seem off today." Lo'ak said softly, the boy was honestly too sweet sometimes. And he was indeed correct about you being quiet, you were normally much more talkative with him.

"Yup, still tired i guess" you just replied, hoping he wouldn't question you more.

"Hey i still wanted to ask you about Net...." he was interupted by a large amount of whoops and yells. The other Na'vi circling the two of you.

"Hey lovely sky demon! It's been a while since you joined us isn't it?" Mi,ak a younger na'vi waved at you with a smile, the jest more of a joke than a serious insult.

"Yup! Been a while! But here i am!" You yell at her, thankfull your lips didn't even come close to Lo'aks ears in this position.

The boy lands the ikran on a big ledge of one of the flying mountains, a large group allready gathered there. Spider and Kiri running up to the two of you.

"Y/n! There you are!" Kiri yelled with an excited Tuk hanging on her arm, "You better get off quick, they are going to start soon!" Spider yelled as he helped you off the large animal, carying you off and setting you on the ground.

Tuk held your hand tightly the moment you got off, dragging you along with her to the crowd"I'm so excited!," She yelled loudly.

Lo'ak waved at the other two as he quickly turned around and moved his ikran to the large group gathered on the edge of the mountain.

It was interesting how many different colour ikran there were, today they seemed almost peacefull. It had been strange to see the animals in a group not meant for war, a melancholy settling in your stomach at the sight.

The warriors were lining up at the edge of the platform, their bodies covered in war paint and more practical clothing than normal.

Confusion circled your stomach as you spotted another familiar Ikran in the midst of the chaos. "Oh my god, is that Neteyam?" You asked softly a flabbergasted expression on your face as you stared at the man.

"Yup! It totally is! NETEYAM!" Tuk screamed so loudly it almost blew your eardrums out. He swiveled around to look at her, his eyes instantly on your form.

He caught your eye, the two of you lost in the other for a second. He seemed so much older as he sat on the ikran, his riding visor set on his hairline and a thick leather piece clasped around his waist. His shoulders seemed broad, and his jawline seemed so strong. He looked like a true warrior.

Even from here you could see the scratches, bruises and hickeys across his body. You doubted another person would know what those were, you had never seen another Na'vi with any.

Jake, Neytiri and the other older Na'vi were stood next to him, Jake having switched his usual huge ikran with a normal sized one. Neteyam barely seemed any smaller than them from this distance.

It scared you how grown up he seemed to get, you knew you didn't belong in his future. Or at least the future his parents intended him to have.

Kiri gave you a sheepish smile as she leaned over, "Yeah, he suddenly insisted on coming this morning. I kind of forgot to tell you."

You opened your mouth to respond,...

"Allright! Today the riding Na'vi are racing their ikran to the Sljikla tree located on the other side of the halleluyah mountains." An older male you recognised as Heliruin yelled toward the remaining crowd of people stood in front of him, he had a fucked up knee from an ill placed bullet in the war. That was probably why he didn't compete.

"Now before you go there! You have to grab a marker from both of the other islands, he lifted up two pieces of red and yellow cloth "There are just enough for all of you, so if anyone grabs two your disqualified!"

"You are competing for the honor of victory and for a token dedicated to your win!" He finally yelled, the crowd roaring at the beaded sting he held in the air, a rare red gem hanging on the end.

"Now we wil start on three,

One.

Two.

Three!"

Chaos ensued as all the Ikran set off into the sky, the contestants all trying to slow down the others instantly. This meant pushing, kicking and throwing things at the other contestants. Which was the thing that caused a collision with a rock last year.

"Whooo you all got this!" Tuk yelled loudly, you only able to stare at your blue guy currently in the lead with your heart in your throat. He went impossibly fast in grabbing the markers, the others struggling to keep up. He moved like a warrior, his ikran following his lead like another limb.

You were pulled out of your thoughts as an ikran you recognised as Jake's tried to pull in front of Neteyam and cut him off. He seemed unfaced though so your heart calmed down a bit as he expertly moved across the mountains.

Finally Neteyam touched down on the ground in front of the tree, you just barely being able to see him place a palm on the tree. Jake wasn't far behind, touching the tree after him.

You looked around you at the crowd, the world seeming to slow down for a second. You noticed a few things all at once, Na'vi skin was beautifull in the sunlight, There were really a lot of beautifull women in the clan, and alot of them really liked your big blue guy.

You let out a shaky sigh, what had you done sleeping with him. You had really set yourself up for future heartache when he chose a Na'vi mate in the end.

Your friends all yelled loudly, you being more distracted by your thoughts.

~~~

It was another while before Neteyam, Jake and the rest arrived back at the ledge. You remained a bit behind the group, a bit too unsure of yourself to greet him first. It seemed Neteyam was first, afterwards Jake, after him Neytiri then two unknown riders and then Lo'ak.

The father and son jumped of the Ikran first, the other Na'vi coming over to congratulate him. Someone placing the token in his hand during. The other Sully kids gathered around their older brother, him strangely just looking around in the crowd in thought.

Neytiri who had also stepped of her Ikran looking at the young man in confusion. "You allright son?" She asked placing a hand on her grown son's shoulder.

"Yep I'm fine," He murmured obviously stil not listening as he looked around, growing more desperate by the second.

The other Na'vi seemed confused at his strange demeanor as well. You frowned in confusion, as he pushed a few other Na'vi out of his way.

Jake went to follow him, but was stopped by the crowd.

Neteyam's gaze hit yours in a flash, a relieved expression on his face as he finally looked into your eyes.. The world went quiet around you two as he walked toward you. Your heart beat reverberating through your body and your body relaxing as you looked at him.

He was on you in seconds, placing his hands on your waist and pulling you into an embrace. "I missed you, He murmured into your hair breathing in softly, "I won this for you" he muttered as he hesitatingly let you go of your hand to give you something.

The beaded string hit your palm softly, the red gem shining beautifully in the light. You stared at him and it with wide eyes, Neteyam just giving you a nervous smile.

"Well...wow... thank you so much. I love it." you finally settled on as you pulled his head down to give him a peck on the cheek. He blushed as well, his cheeks turning purple as a large smile spread on his cheeks. His hands softly stroking your waist.

"Let me put it in your hair, he muttered as he gathered a large strand of hair in his hands, expertly tying the bead into your hair. His hands carressing way more of your neck than neccesary during.

A warmth filled your stomach as you stared at his concentrated face.

The act was usually only reserved for mated people but he didn't seem to care, a satisfied smile appearing on his face as he stood back to behold his handiwork. The thin hair wrap blending in well with your hair, but standing out enough for people to notice.

Neither of you really acknowledged the crowd around you until it was a bit too late, a cough interrupting the two of you. Neteyam instantly moving in front of you at the interuption. Him calming down at the familiar face.

"Uhm bro, you might want to take this elsewhere" Lo'ak whispered as he gestured to Jake and Neytiri who were staring wide eyed at the two of you, a confused Norm quickly being called over by the Sully matriarch,

"Yup, he's right" You murmured as you saw a few other people in the crowd start staring too. Neteyam seemed annoyed he had to let you go, slowly pulling his hands of your waist.

Lo'ak grasped his brothers arm, "I'll distract them bro," He gave his brother a teasing look. "Then you might finally get over yourself and just kiss her." he let out a mocking laugh. "Allthough i doubt that"

Little did he know what they had done allready, you noticed Neteyam hide a smirk aswell.

The older of the two released a sigh at his brothers antics, but patted him on the back anyway before the boy left.

"lets go over there" Neteyam murmured as he pointed to a small alcove in the rock. You would be totally hidden from sight there, unless someone walked in that is.

He grasped your hand and pulled you toward it, Lo'ak starting to tell an heavily embelished 'war story' to distract the crowd. Effectively distracting the parents so you could slip away.

You were around the corner first, turning your body around to face him. "I'm not sure how were going to hide this anym..." you couldn't finish your sentence, his lips interupting you mid sentence as they covered yours in a sudden kiss. His tongue softly licking your lips as you opened up your mouth to let him slip his tongue in.

He groaned in your mouth, a hand grasping your ass automatically. You whined into his mouth, before he seperated from you for a second, leaving you hot and bothered.

"I'm really sorry, but this new oxygen mask, i just really neede..." He murmured guiltily, you interupting him this time as you jumped up in his arms wrapping your arms around his neck and pulling him down toward you.

He let out a low growl, when you pulled at one of his braids. His arms wrapped under your thighs as he lifted you up. You wrapping your legs around him ignoring the discomfort between your legs to harshly rub against him.

A deep growl reverberated from his mouth as Neteyam deepened the kiss pressing your back against the wall as he grinded against you this time. His bare chest rubbing against your clothed one, you really wishing you could press your naked one against him again.

"I would take you right here, but...." he let out a shaky sigh, "You really need to rest, we really pushed you hard for our first time" He mumbled into your ear.

"Do you remember? My cock pressed deep into you, stretching you out so well?" He breathed out the words, a distant look on his face as he was lost in thought. You startled as you felt a bulge start to form under his loincloth, it pressing increasingly hard at your now moist panties.

"Uhm...Neteyam?" You squeeked, your voice turning higher than you wanted. He startled from his thoughts accidentally grinding against you more.

You let out a moan, as his bulge pressed against your core. "Please tell me to stop, i can't hurt you." He sadly murmured in your ear softly as he rutted against you.

You shook your head "This is fine, we just.." you let out a wanting moan. "We just can't.... you can't put your cock in me." You struggled to keep your voice normal.

You felt your body becoming warmer every second, his rough loincloth rubbing your clothed clit every time he came into contact. You both started to move faster against eachother, him groaning harshly into your mouth.

Your throat failed you as you let out the most ungodly moan, just as his erection slipped out from his loincloth and slid across your clothed folds. It's head softly sitting between your moist thighs.

You stared at him with half lidded eyes, your body deciding for you as you automatically slid your thighs back and forth over his member. His groaning continuing harshly, you feeling him start to shake.

You felt his hand enter your panties for a second, his fingers just raking across your wet folds before he suddenly took it out. You whined at the sensitive feeling, looking wide eyed as he licked his fingers clean.

Your teeth grazed his bottom lip, as you placed your lips over his. His face dwarving yours, his mouth way bigger than your own. That didn't stop him when he ran his tongue through your mouth, put it back in his own before collecting your combination of saliva on his tongue and sticking it back in your mouth.

You moaned softly at the strange taste.

The remaining shame you had both felt was gone as you lost yourselves in eachother. It must have been an obscene sight as his cock was pressed between your thighs and you devoured eachother messily. Both of your moans and the sucking and smacking sounds echoeing in the cave.

Neteyam grasped your blouse, pulling it open too reveal your allready bruised neck. He worked his mouth over the supple flesh, sucking harshly.

"You know you are mine, and your rubbing me so good." He cooed as his blue hand stroked your cheek, "Wouldn't it just be riviting if one of our clan mates saw us here, they would walk in and they would see you covered in my spit. Grinding on my cock" he sighed softly.

"They would know your mine instantly," He closed his eyes in bliss his pace growing harder and faster.

His cock sliding harshly across your abused folds was mind numbing, your mind so far gone you could barely think.

"I'm all yours big guy," you whispered as you looked into his big golden eyes, his pupils dilating again as his movements became eratic whilst he neared his orgasm.

"And you own me." He murmured as he harshly pressed you against the wall one last time, you feeling his sticky seed spill between your legs.

He let out a shaky sigh as he enjoyed the aftereffects of his orgasm, it almost being hypnotising to see him release himself on your body.

He softly tucked his now softened member back in his loincloth, giving you a sudden shy smile.

"Now i really want to pleasure you aswell" Neteyam murmured, as he started to kiss down your body.

Footsteps echoed through the cave as someone neared their secret spot. You both looking at eachother with wide eyes.

You pulled down your dress over your now sticky thighs, ignoring the warm feeling of his cum in your underwear.

Neteyam wiped your and his mouth with his hand, quickly placing you on your feet, jumping away from you instantly.

The familiar face of two of your friends, Mi,ak and Siatam entered the cave the female Na'vi startling at the two of you stood inside the small space.

"Oh hello there you two! Were you having a private conversation again?" Mi,ak said with a raised eyebrow. Siatam smiled as well, "Guys you should really talk to other people and not just yourselves! You two are way too close friends" She teased with a smile.

The two of you were known for being close friends and sneaking of to talk with eachother a lot, to your friends this wasn't strange behaviour at all. You never knew your innocent escapades from before could mean so much more now.

Luckily they didn't seem to see the change.

"Oh wel no not at all private! Haha.. were were just talking about the competition!" You somehow came up with an excuse, Neteyam giving you an impressed smile at your quick thinking.

Mi,ak and Siatam smiled broadly "Now Neteyam i have to admit that this was impressive even for you! You bested your father like it was nothing!" Mi,ak complimented, placing a tentative hand on Neteyam's shoulder. "You are a very mighty warrior.

He brushed of her hand instantly, instead grasping your arm and tugging you with him.You smiled awkwardly, very uncomfortable with the situation.

Mi'ak didn't seem to notice his rejection, only strolling after the two of you as you excited the cave. Still raving about his riding skills.

You looked around the crowd quickly, no one really noticing the strange pair and their temporary dissapearance. Except when your eyes met cold ones on the other side of the crowd, you instantly recognising them as Neytiri's, you quickly distanced yourself from Neteyam, softly nudging him to Mi'ak. He stumbled a bit accidentally getting a bit too close to the other Na'vi who stroked a hand across his chest again before joining her other friends.

When Neteyam looked back at you in confusion you slightly nudged your head toward his father. Neteyam's nodding in understanding.

He gave you a soft look before strolling toward his other friends, glancing behind him to stare at you during.

~~~

You and Neteyam had spend that whole day and the two after stealing secret glances at eachother. Jake, Neytiri and now Norm were not taking their eyes of the two of you for one second, them basically locking the two of you up night and day.

They couldn't possibly know everything that had happened. But you were sure the hair wrap had been the final nail in the coffin.

They had began pushing you and Spider together again, them constantly teaming the two of you up for things.

You noticed they had done the same to Neteyam as the boy now only seemed to do two things, which was dully strolling behind Mi'ak as they got teamed up for something random or full on glaring at Spider.

You could honestly say you really missed him, life just seemed so empty without your best friend around. Although Kiri thankfully still managed to cheer you up slightly.

It was around the end of the third day that they finally dropped their constant surveilance on the two of you.

The Metkayina clan had decided to visit your tribe the following week, the tribe had aided a lot during the Na'vi vs the sky people war. You and the other kids had all fought with them, it was a time with a lot of tears and blood spilled and none of the others really enjoyed talking about it.

You had been the only human they had tolerated there, this only after you risked your life to save the little kids of the tribe who were almost killed by a stray soldier. Spider was almost thrown to the sharks after he tried to save Quaritch, so they probably still kind of loathed him for that.

Anyway, considering the preperations of the celebration, sleeping arrangements and sustenance the 'adults' had gone on a frantic rampage to get everything ready in time.

And this made it that when you had locked eyes across the camp, and when the parents looked away you both snuck of to the only place no one would be at that time.

One of the extra halls attached to the old human base had been a pool, which was basically a 'cleaner' lake. The other scientists made sure it was still functional, as they still used it for excerise often.

This was one of the places you didn't have to wear a mask, and so Neteyam had practically forced the two of you over here.

"Why exactly did you want to meet here again?" You murmured as you turned your head to look at the large alien behind you. He just shrugged avoiding the question before placing the oxygen tank down and taking a hefty puff through the mask.

You turned to look at the pool, the water seeming strangely blue because of the tiles at the bottom. It was actually quite a deep pool you could barely see the bottom on the deep end of the pool, luckily a sort of ramp style made it that the pool became way less deep on the other end.

A lot of the lights had stopped working over the years, as now only the lights in the pool still remained functional. You noticed the water gave the room a blue tint as the reflection of the soft ripples shone on you and Neteyam.

You startled out of your thoughts as your blue alien reached around you to unbutton your pants. You let out a squeek as his hands shamelessly explored your body. "You wear too much clothes." he whispered in your ear.

"No i don't, and you can't allways rip my clothes off" you teased, a blush rising on your cheeks.

"Hm, i wouldn't mind making you new ones" he murmured as his eyes scanned your legs, you squirming under his gaze. His gaze grew more intense as you kicked of your now unbuttoned pants slowly lifting up your tanktop.

He instantly laid his warm hand on your belly his palm almost covering it entirely. You shivered at the sudden touch. "You are so soft.." he murmured to himself. He grasped onto the little bit of fat on the underside of your stomach, "I want to feel this against me again soon."

You blushed bright red as you swatted as his hands, "Neteyam! You can't just suddenly say stuff like that" you murmured.

His yellow eyes seemed almost green in the blue light, a smile circling his lips. "You are mine, and you are beautifull and soft, and i have the right to tell you that," he spoke in english this time, his Na'vi accent still visible through the words. His warm hand stubbornly remaining on your stomach as he gave you an intense stare.

Neteyam was suprisingly possesive these days, and you honestly hadn't known your gentle friend had this dominance in him. Not to mention the sudden rebelious streak he was on, actively deceiving his parents to spend time with you.

His hands moved toward your hips, softly pulling your body toward his and bending down to look you in the eye. "You are so small," he mumbled as his breath hit your face.

He placed a little peck on your nose, before his warm mouth slowly covered yours. Him dominating the kiss instantly, softly running his larger tongue through your mouth. You let out a moan, him groaning in response.

His fingers tickled your stomach softly, you letting out a squeel at the familiar action. This something he had done since he figured out as you were kids what a fun reaction he got by doing it.

He and Lo'ak often did things like that when you were kids.

A sudden idea struck you as you pulled his hands of your hips, allowing yourself to quickly slip downward making an escape as you ducked out from under him.

"Y/n?" He asked confused as he looked around to see where you ran off too. His gaze caught on a ripple in the water, him walking over to the edge to look for you, unknowingly peering into the blue abyss.

You smirked as you slowly snuck up behind him ducking down and using one of his hunting skills he had taught you when you were both young teens. The skill now proving usefull as you steadied yourself and pushed out your hands, your big blue alien letting out a scream and spashing water everywhere as he stumbled into the pool.

You laughed loudly as his head popped out from under the waves, revealing an annoyed looking Neteyam with his braids now clung to his skin.

"Your going to pay for that!" He yelled loudly, a gleefull smile revealing he wasn't actually all that annoyed with you. The sight familiar to you as you imagined a younger Neteyam doing the same, his round face and tiny body now replaced with a strong jawline and broad shoulders.

You had played like this all the time when you were kids and it was kind of nice to kind of relive that now.

His gaze turned gentle as he swam to the edge, "What are you thinking about?" He murmured, leisurely crossing his arms over the edge and placing his chin down on top.

You let out a sigh, "I guess i was just reminicing a little." You sat down next to his arms, placing your feet in the water and dangling them slightly.

Neteyam nodded softly, keeping his gaze fixed on your face.

"Do you remember going to the lakes when we were kids?" You asked, softly caressing one of his now soaked braids.

A smile spread on his lips as he gained a distant look in his eyes, "I don't think i can ever forget all that joy and happiness, we might have been young but i still remember a lot from back then." His hand grasped yours giving it a little squeeze.

"I was just afraid that all that trauma from the war might have overshadowed that," you murmured softly, thinking back to all the loss and death you had all endured so young. "Some things are still a bit muddled sometimes,"

You thought back to the time that you had gone to save Spider from the sky people. You, Lo'ak and Neteyam sneaking into the poachers boat and somehow succeeding to retrieve the other boy. Only for one of their men to show up at the last second to shoot at them, he had actually managed to hit Neteyam if it wasn't for the fact you managed to push him in the water just in time.

The only problem being that you had not taken into account that the guy would switch to swinging his gun around when his bullets ran out.

Which was how you got your lights punched out before you were plunged into the water, the guy thinking you were dead. Neteyam had looked behind him to find you, only to find your lifeless form floating right next to him.

Que the most horrifying moment ever when he thought you were dead, still dragging your body right to the nearest shore. He had basically screamed at his brother that he had forced them to go rescue Spider. When he finally calmed down a bit they recruited Tsureya to stay with your body, as they couldn't find a pulse.

Neteyam had basically gone on a murder spree, murdering a LOT of people as revenge. You scaring Tsureya's socks off as you suddenly started moving again.

Needless to say, it was a pleasant suprise for your blue alien when he returned to find you very much concussed but still alive. He had basically been your nurse the entire time you got better. Staying beside you even when you insisted he rested himself.

That was when he had first started acting strange around you allready.

You felt Neteyam squeeze your hand, pulling you from your memories. "Your thinking about the war aren't you? You do that alot these days." He murmured softly giving you a meaningfull stare.

You shrugged, averting your gaze "Don't you do it too? Especially now things changed between us."

Neteyam let out a breath, "Yes, i do. But mostly at night... when you aren't with me" His grip on your hand tightened before he spoke again. "I have a lot of nightmares these days, about.. uhm.. about losing you."

You turned to him in suprise, "About what happened back at the ship?"

He flinched before nodding, avoiding your gaze as you tried to look him in the eyes.

You slid yourself over to him, him instantly making space for you to sit on the edge in front of him.

"Teyam?" You murmured as you grasped his chin toward you, "I'm here now." You placed a kiss on his nose before placing your forehead on his.

He 'innocently' smiled, "Say if i happen to have another one of those Nightmares, you wouldn't mind if i climb into bed with you right?" His warm hands slid over your legs before settling on your hips.

You knew he was joking, but you couldn't help but take what he said seriously. "I would never mind spending time with you Neteyam, whatever the time whatever the place." You gave him a soft smile.

The look on his face warmed your insides as he smiled the biggest you had ever seen him smile. He placed his hands under your arms, lifting you off the edge of the pool and in his arms.

You let out a squeek, not at all expecting the action.Your body suddenly flush against his musculair chest as you wrapped your arms around his neck. His hands sliding downward until he held you up by your thighs.

"So good" you heard him mutter as he drew you as close as you possibly could be, his yellow eyes gaining that primal tint you had seen only once before as he observed your form.

A familiar warmth grew between your legs, you struggling to keep your cool because of it. You really only wanted one thing, and you needed it right now. You needed that delicious fullness right now, you even slightly wanting the pain that came with it.

"Neteyam?" You asked softly as his eyes instantly flashed to yours, "Well uhm... ithinkimreadytohavesexwithyouagain" Your words were impossible to decipher, your big blue guy staring at you with concerned eyes.

"Are you allr..." he began before you cut him off, softly pressing a finger to his lips.

"I... think" you took a deep breath "I'm ready to uhm.. have sex with you.. again." You murmered as you covered your blush with your hands. "Roughly." You added, your mind straying toward the bruises and hard thrusting you had enjoyed the first time.

Neteyam let out a low growl, "Roughly?" He asked, releasing a shaky sigh as you nodded. "I need to hear you say it y/n," He murmured, grasping your face with your hand.

You let out a whine, "I want you to fill me so deeply i can barely breath,.ah... i want you to take control" you finally moaned out,

Your big blue alien stepped backwards a bit, suddenly loosing his footing.

A huge splash of water rippled the pool as Neteyam stumbled, effectively dunking you both under water, totally disorienting you as you went under.

You both reached the surface of the water at the same time, catching your breath. Neteyam instantly scanning around himself to find you. You letting out a loud laugh as his eyes hit yours, splashing him with a little wave of water.

The tension from before momentarily forgotten as you played in the water.

He gave you a comically insulted look, it quickly turning relieved as he saw your smile. "You little skang!" He yelled as he used his large arm to send you a wave, it washing over you instantly.

"Oh come on, this is not a fair fight!" You exclaimed loudly, teasingly kicking him in the shin.

He let out an exaterated whine before he threw his body toward you picking you up under your arms, him dropping you afterwards. You felt some water enter your nose as you went under, you sputtering slightly in suprise.

He lifted you up again, "Shouldn't have contended me, ma y/n." He murmured into your ear, it a reference to the play water fights you would have as children.

He placed his arms around you softly, you both taking a second to just bask in eachothers presence. His arms settled around you in a way you only saw and felt him.

After a short while you felt his breath turn uneven, "Teyam, you really need oxygen" You warned.

Neteyam hesitantly let you go but finally swam toward the other side of the pool lifting himself on the edge before taking a puff of oxygen from the tank.

He turned to look at you, "That was unexpected." he murmured with an humorous smile on his face. Him obviously meaning the tension and then the tumble you guys just took.

"Now this totally killed my mood here, welp guess we'll just go back to the rest." You shrugged, sarcastically turning away from him and starting to swim away.

"OH no you don't," Neteyam yelled jokingly but not that jokingly at the same time.

You laughed, "Well i suppose you'll have to catch me then!" You taunted him giving him a meaningfull look.

He smirked before he walked over to the edge of the water, peering down on your form a little ways ahead.,

You underestimate me little mate! I'll catch you faster than you think!" He exclaimed loudly as you heard a loud splash behind you, Neteyam giving chase.

You swam toward the shallow end of the pool as quickly as your limbs would allow, slowly making your way toward the ramp, the water now coming up to your waist as you waided through at record speed.

You felt him gain on you,

You slowly kept crawling upward the water splashing loudly as you practically threw yourself forward, adrenaline rushing through your body as you heard the sound of his large body getting closer and closer to your smaller form.

You noticed him reach out to grab you a little too late, you stumbling down on your stomach. You were about to sit up too crawl when you were held down by two large legs pinning you too the ground. His large member sitting right on your ass.

"Got you" Neteyam whispered in your ear as his hands pinned yours to the dry part of the ramp, only your bottom half still fully submerged.

"Well, claim your price then my love" You murmured softly as you jokingly shook your bottom at him. He let out an excited growl, rutting against your body roughly. You letting out a moan as you felt his cock slip down, just missing your clothed entrance as it landed between your folds.

He sat on his knees around your legs, your ass pushed upwards toward him. Neteyam letting out a frustrated sigh and simply tearing off your bra and underwear, you letting out a gasp at the sting of the clothes digging into your skin as they tore. He threw the shreds somewhere to his right before reaching his hand down and placing the head of his cock at your entrance.

You shivered at the sudden sensitivity of your folds. You whimpering as you tried to dig your nails into the tiled pool. You tried to catch your breath from your running, failing immensely.

He pushed in without warning, you dropping yourself on your stomach with a breathless groan as he filled you to the brim. His large member stretching you out instantly, it feeling like it set aflame every sensitive place in your body all at once.

You tried to catch your breath, gasping heavily as your body adjusted to the large intruder. The filled feeling foreign but familiar as you could feel the tip of his cock reach far into you.

He groaned in your ear "You can't run away from me my mate," his breath uneven as he set a sudden harsh pace, his cock pulling all the way out of you before slamming into you again.

You were slowly pushed forward as he thrusted into you, his hands settled on your waist to keep you still.

You whined under him, your cunt a tingling mess as you took him, you feeling him so deep in your body you could see stars. "Oh god, your so deep" You moaned out, not able to keep the words in.

You tried to push yourself up on your underarms, intending to scootch yourself forward a bit. Him sliding out of you a little as you moved away from him.

You were pulled back harshly, a deep voice whispering in your ear. "Stay here" Neteyam demanded as he pulled your arms behind you, your body angling backwards as he slammed into you again, you feeling your belly rub against the tile with every thrust. His pace became more irregulair, you unnable to calculate his next move and completely at his mercy.

This new position drove him right into your sweet spot, your orgasm approaching fast and your eyes growing hazy as your surroundings went blurry. You let out a highpitched moan, your body shaking terribly as your cunt squeezed his cock uncontrollably.

Neteyam let out a feral groan, pushing your body back down practically laying on you as he drove himself in and out of you. He was animalistic as he growled and hugged your body to his in a posessive embrace.

You had never felt him like this, but you couldn't help but like it as he dominated your body in every sense. It was like your mind grew empty for a second, the only thing in your mind the hot pleasure coursing through your veins and the satisfying feeling of fullness in your stomach.

And every time he growled and ground himself into you, you felt yourself floating farther from your body. Your entire being overtaken by him as you let out unfiltered moans. "Oh please, please, please" you heard your voice come out of your throst even when you didn't remember speaking them.

Somewhere in the back of your mind, you really hoped no one would come anywhere near to the back of the human base. It a sure fact that they would hear the absolute massacre taking place. The huge alien rutting into you like a rabid animal, and you taking it like a bitch in heat.

He suddenly slowed down, his pace slower but his thrusts harsher than before as your body was harshly pushed into the tiles, your warm head settled on the cold surface as you let out incoherent words of satisfaction. You were scooted forwards like a rag doll as he moved you at his will. "Yes you are doing so well, my little mate. You are so damn tight." He murmured in your ear again, his warm breath tickling your neck.

You felt him swell up inside of you, your body tingling as Neteyam let out a hoarse moan, his seed spilling inside your womb and pumping it farther into you. The squelching obscene as it echoed through the dark pool.

You felt the knot in your stomach unravel suddenly but harshly as you let out a final moan, your legs shaking even harder than before and your body basically going limp on the tiles. Your brain too fucked out to even think.

The blue light of the pool faded away for a second as black spots covered your vision, a loud ringing filling your ears.

"Y/n, ...re .... allright?" You heard Neteyam ask you something, but your mind struggled to figure out what he had said.

You frowned in confusion as you felt Neteyam shake you a bit, "Y/n..please.. r...ond.." a panicked tone filtered in his words, you feeling his weight lift off of your limbs.

You curled your legs into your chest, placing your arms under yourself but letting out a whimper as you failed to sit up. Your heartbeat soared in your ears, it like a drum as it pounded in your head. His eyes widening as your eyes rolled upward, your vision fading.

"Y/N?" Neteyam's loud shout echoed through your mind. Your eyes shot open, revealing your big blue guy above you you as his palms softly hit your cheeks to keep you awake. "Teyam?" You murmured softly, a relieved look on his face as you acknowledged him.

You felt his arms slip around your body as he gently lifted you of the ground, you blinked.

When you opened your eyes again, you were cradled in Neteyam's arms. Your naked body flush against his. One of his arms holding you steady and the other one supporting your head. You weren't in the pool anymore, now sitting on the tile by your clothes. You stared around with dumbfounded eyes, "W..What happened?" You asked weakly.

Neteyam stared at you with worried eyes "You just didn't respond, i didn't know what to do." He mumbled softly as tears filled his eyes, slowly running down his cheeks. "I was just so worried, I'm so sorry." he murmured into your still damp hair.

You softly pushed your forehead against his, "It's not your fault," You let out a slow breath before sitting up in his arms.

"Why did you pass out? Did i push you too far?" He asked worriedly.

You shook your head, "No, no, not at all, i think i pushed myself too far... you did... amazing."

You leaned forward, softly kissing away his tears. A soft smile circling your lips afterwards, as you softly pressed the tip of your nose to the spots on his face.

"You felt so good, it was like i lost my mind. It was like something came over me." His eyes were still wild, no doubt still calming down from his orgasm.

"I had the same, you really are mine" You murmured in his ear,

Neteyam's eyes met your own again, his eyes soft and so filled with affection you could barely breathe. "I see you." He murmured softly, as he placed his hand on your cheek.

"I see you" you murmured, placing your arms around his warm chest as he did the same. You stayed in his embrace for a while as you both calmed down from your high both in the emotional and in the physical sense.

After a while you both got up, your body aching in so many places you would surely have to check in a mirror later. You slowly put on your clothes, your big blue guy keeping a close eye on you during.

"I really hurt you..." Neteyam murmured as he trailed his fingers over the allready forming bruises on your arms and legs

His fingers slowly brushed over to your neck, his hands tracing a few spots there. "I have marked you here as well." He did seemed pleased at 'that' thought, his stance instantly growing taller as he observed the love bites on your neck.

You finished dressing quite quickly, you both finally ready to sneak out the pool. "Shit" you cursed as you stared at the black nothingness.

Neteyam looked at you in confusion, "What is it?"

"Look outside"

...."Shit"

You quickly grabbed his hand dragging him with you as you entered the dark hallway. Him just allowing himself to move with you as you peered around the narrow passages thankfully able to navigate in the dark.

"We have to move quickly here" you murmured as you stuck your head out into the main hall, quickly peering around to see if you saw any scientists wandering around thankfully seeing the corridor entirely empty.

You pulled him into the hallway, slowly crouching/crawling under the windows to the labs, you knowing that some of the human workers liked to work late.

You had no idea what time it was, but you sincerily hoped it wasn't past nine yet. Neytiri, Jake and Norm would trow a fit if they appeared past curfew again.

The pair of you slowly neared the avatar room where the big metal door leading outside was located, his big blue form sticking out like a sore thumb as they sneaked past the various hallways leading there.

You crouched beside the doorframe, peering into the room. It was silent in there safe for the occasional snore, you looking back at Neteyam to see if he heard anything. He gave you a silent nod, slowly moving in front of you this time as he grasped your smaller hand in his to guide you forward. You both sneaking past the giant tanks, one of them containing Kiri's mother..which was honestly quite weird.

You finally had the door in sight, Neteyam reaching forward to grab the handle as you both stood up. "Goodni...." you were interupted by his lips on your own as his large hand cupped your face. You gasped as his tongue entered your mouth, him groaning as your teeth grazed his lips.

You felt yourself get carried away, him apparently having the same problem as he harshly slammed your back against the wall. Your legs wrapped around his waist pulling him toward you as his hands roughly kneaded your behind.

"Okay... we... should.. really stop" You mumbled between kisses. Neteyam only letting out an dejected moan before unwillingly pulling away from you, softly setting you back down on your feet.

"I shall see you tommorow" He murmured giving you one last kiss and stepping out the door.

Your private moment being way less private than the both of you thought.

(Welp! That was part two! Again please let me know if you liked it! I think I will only do a part 3 if you guys want me to! Also let me know if i need to be more descriptive, I am sometimes not sure if i put enough.)

Link to part 3:

Link to part 1!:

#smut #Neteyam #neteyam x reader #Na'vi x human reader #avatar x reader #avatar x human reader #size kink #exhibtionist

[kel-lance]

JJK Mafia Au (JJK x Reader) PART 2

Part 1

Warnings:- TW: Dead dove dont read (DDDR) Minors do not interact (MDNI): SA, Physical Assault, DubCon, NonCon, Mindbreak, Public Humiliation, Breeding, Ownership, Gaslighting, Multiple manipulation, RWORD, PTSD, a lot more toxic sh.

Premise: Reader lives in a city where the two biggest gangs keep things line until the third gang showed up. That had nothing to do with you though, until dumb luck just happened to favor you one day. Basically You’re picked up and used by every dangerous criminal within the clans due to some alliances they had to create due to some members messing up the previous alliances. ((Almost everyone’s gonna have a turn 🤗)) ( i have 11 more chapters planned out right now meaning after i write those ill still be writing more.)

“We’re done for today.” The large man reaches for his robes. You don’t bother to move. Just breathing hurt. It was his off day and he was deciding to break you in, deciding to keep you for however long you were durable. He was amused with your reactions. He liked it. He found it interesting how you were also trying to survive. He’d play along as your god now. 

You lay in the bed and his finger prints stained your skin, each strike created blots of purple and blue and green. You liked bruises before, it showed how you fought for it. 

You apparently woke up two days later, and he lets you rest. Your body finally turns off survival mode for a second, just a second to adjust to the warm room. Four walls, the nice smell, it was just another thing you weren’t used to. Stillness. It was boring. But under these circumstances you were glad to have your own padded room to deal with this.

The time you were left alone, you didn’t know how long that would be. Another hour or so you’d think he’d come back in, hearing as you’re up. Time for more torture, though do torture victims get a bed and tended to? It felt more like you were a sacrifice, meant to appease him, though no one handed you over. 

You were brushed, scrubbed raw, and even felt a bit of shame for the way you were living compared to the two ladies who were taking care of you. But you didn’t know how long they’ve been in this line of work. Hell they honestly looked like they were born into it with the cold looks in their eyes. They could care less about your well-being, though they found and scrubbed every inch of you. Of course you didn’t want strangers to look at you, especially after such a moment that brought you here. To be real, these twins are probably the only people who knew you more than anyone you currently knew. 

Friends? You had a few, some to help you out sometimes, some to let you crash at their place. It was all fair game to the people you knew. Life was never easy for them and they knew of you being a free spirit. You didn’t leech off of them for you’d always show up with something in exchange, usually something you stole but it would never get traced back, it was either too common (but useful) or just something that would never be brought out of shown off. 

You weren’t a bad friend for it, if anything you were the perfect guest, though this time you didn’t mean to give yourself away for a few nights stay.

“I gotta get out of here, but where would I go? These people have already seen my face and I can’t tell how many more there would be. I can’t request anything to learn the layout of this place and no one will talk to me. If I leave I’ll have to run further and faster than I already have been…” You ponder more, sitting at the table placed in front of the window. 

They’re smart enough to know what I’d do if I wanted to pick a fight with their lord, of course there are guards at more doors, even under the window out your room, and it’s safe to say that there’s even a guard at each vent that’s connected to your room. 

“Why does it seem like I’m so special?” You sit and open the window, the guard below moves from his post to observe you on the same side has the other posted to view you. You look down at then and offer a wave, saying you’re not doing anything stupid, but you just wanted some air. One of them leaves, probably to get Sukuna. 

“I bet he’s just a lonely loser and I just happen to fall into his lap, or maybe I was one of many and was the newest. The girls here looked like they could be in the same position as you, though why weren’t they? They didn’t look like they were his blood, and there was no way that he could be their dad. That would make things even worse since you’re close in age as the twins. 

You see the guard go back to his post, nonchalantly. “Weirdo.” You thought. Not even a second later your room door whips open. Jumping from your place at the table, you turn and see who other than the man with the unpredictable entrances. “Finally up?” He leans on the door frame. “Honestly, you’re so dramatic for that.” He teased, being strangely familiar to you.

“Dude…” You caught yourself about to tell off this stranger. All you’ve known from him is that he’s having fun taking you and making you a toy, that his name was Sukuna and how everyone seemed under his control. Not that they enjoy it, but it didn’t look like anyone, even in their numbers, would stand up to someone like him. 

It still wasn’t apparent for you. He only told you his first name, his last could tell you that you were in even more danger than any “normal” man doing this to you. It could be such a metaphor but you’re literally trapped in the best place you’ve ever been. Was that just life? all the bad comes up when you’re supposed to be happy, and realizing how good you’ve had it as it gets ripped apart in front of you? The balance of it all only comes with ignorance, which was also why you wouldn’t get attached. You didn’t run to one person for everything you didn’t need more than what you’d ask for and that wasn’t much. If they were lucky you’d be there for 3 days at most. 

You lost your voice, his presence set in, bringing you out of your (if you can all it that) relaxed state. He notices you tense up, the look in your eyes begging him to give your body a break. He huffs and saunters into the room, taking a seat at the end of the bed, the side that’s facing you. “You had some time to clear your head, now tell me what was your intention. Playing dumb suits that pretty face of yours… But that’s not why I’m here.”

You sure knew nothing about this guy. Other than his name and how his body looked. How he felt was different, it just happened so fast that you could only remember how it lingered in your belly after he left you the second time. It wasn’t something you can forget, those were the best orgasms of your life. “Sukuna… I’m serious.” 

“You expect me to believe that? Did I hit you too hard?” You almost wanted to laugh, you saw stars and colors you couldn’t before his knuckles contacted your skull. Lifting his hand from his side to place under his chin made you flinch, a bit too hard for his liking apparently.  It took a lot for you to muster standing up on your own, much less realize you had to get to the table by needing support from the wall. It was like you were in an ice skating rink and had to hold onto the walls for dear life, except there was no ice, it was just pain in your body not letting you level yourself out.

“When you’re ready to talk, I might hear you out. My patience is thin you already know.” He stands and closes your door, sent a shiver down your spine. Him not being close to you, or hurting you, having this quick visit was so unsettling. 

It haunted you for hours. He didn’t touch you. The edge of the bed where he sat still held an energy, like he left a part of him right there to keep watch over you. 

He definitely hit you too hard, you were thinking more outlandish things to go with this scenario. Like why didn’t the touch you? You thought he was going to keep a pattern, that maybe after this he would come in periodically to taunt you. That maybe his patience has worn out and he was going to get rid of you any minute now, or to use you again. 

The trauma you got from this certainly messed with your self soothing methods. Every time you catch yourself hitting your peak of your self imposed orgasms, you were almost wishing you had more than just your fingers. You didn’t want him, but seriously its already been 2 weeks. You were gonna go crazy in here. The girls kept bringing you your meals, and a bathroom is attached, though you couldn’t do much by yourself. 

You were to let the others feed and bathe you, and you honestly hated it. It was way too weird, you never talked to them, and they never tried with you so it felt like there was an agreement to just not speak about it. That none of you were here willingly. That gave you some insight. Your body healed itself enough that you didn’t need the wall to walk anymore, making your trips to the table in front of the window more frequent. 

You notice some sort of schedule Sukuna follows, as well as a few other noticeable men in this kind of gated community. Whatever he has gong on here, it felt like you were almost a stolen princess locked away in a tower or something. “You have GOT TO get a hold of yourself.” You didn’t need to see a doctor or someone, you were fully aware that these thoughts were just you daydreaming to escape reality, yet again. Though this time it was getting boring, you couldn’t help yourself, literally. 

At this point you wanted to even ask one of the guards if they wanted to come in and help you out, but you didn’t have to do that, because a day later you decided to act. Rolling around night time, you decided to open your window a noticeable amount. By then the guards usually leave one guard to patrol the grounds in each quarter. 

The ones outside your door either end up sleeping or one leaves the other for a bathroom break, some nights they both go, probably to blow each other you thought. It wasn’t any of your concern, they did it before when you could barely move, but now you were agile again, enough to move around without hissing at each moment.

 Placing your ear to the door, you heard light snoring through it. “Okay, just find his room you thought. You knew that it took about 60 steps to reach a stair case, then that would be about 24 steps down. You could hear his footsteps through the pairs of others who followed him, as his echoed with pace, and the others almost scuttled behind them like bugs.. 

You find your way slipping past heavy wooden doors, making sure it wouldn’t creak, you saw the walkway in the garden. You looked up and saw your room, you knew it was yours as it was the only one with the window open. you knew that the guard just left this fourth of his grounds. You were searching the area for his room. Peering through the windows, it would have been hard to tell if it was him, but his tattoos were honestly unique. 

None of them were him, you go back to the walkway, going down the opposite end, just blindly working your way through. You couldn’t just walk through any door, it could be your last mistake, it being Sukuna or not. But it just had to be him, you wanted so badly to find his familiar face and just, you don’t know. 

You decide to be more ballsy, there’s surely no way he’s be in the same quarters that has this many people,” you decide to take your chance with the left corridor. “I wouldn’t take him for a cuddly guy anyway.” 

Listen, you know it sounds crazy, but if you even got to escape, you’d be hunted like a fox, unnecessarily, and as a spectacle for others to watch. But if you could find him, and do it yourself, “I mean, at least I’d die with something, and what a funny way to go.” You loved to joke about these kinds of things. Anytime it seemed dark, you’d find yourself cracking a joke or going off an other tangents from the barrage of thoughts coming your way.

You hold your breath as you set your fingers around the doorknob, you pull it back slowly, and turn it, to silence any squeaks it may have. After turning it fully, you let it go back and unclenched your fingers to let it go a second time, making sure there was no noise from the metal trap, and decided to go in. 

What fucking luck you had as if you broke into another room you’d think your breathing would start to give you away. As you head towards the bed, the raising figure laying there was him. Your eyes had adjusted to the dark, so much so that you could just stand in front of him. 

Looking down at him you wondered what you should do. You’re not going to kill him, that’s one thing, though you had nothing to lose, you still liked your life and you enjoyed whatever adventurous you got yourself into. It was always just one thing after the next and you’d rest when needed, but you loved it. 

This was totally different though. Before it was like you were born into this work and have to abide by its rules. As of right now you could do /anything/. What else would you do? 

You look down at him, kneeling at the edge of the bed to face him. Looking at his face like this, completely defenseless, his harsh eyes weren’t poking at you or telling you exactly what he was thinking. No he was just, he looked human. Like if you were to have met him at any other place it would possibly be on a magazine cover or an army recruitment booth posted wherever. 

“Damn bastard is beautiful.” You thought. “I didn’t get this far to stop now. Fucking 2 weeks you keep me here and don’t do anything? Do you know how boring that is? You can’t just keep me here and forget.” All that time alone had gone to your head, did you forget how he treated you the time you met? 

Tbh it fades in and out, your memory’s cut up pieces of film that randomly plays an old memory, and since you can’t recognize it, you call it a dream. 

Nothing could take you away from where you were now. Looking over him, still not a care in the world. Nothing could wake him if he’d allow it. You cocked your head to align your eyes with his, and reach out and brush your fingertips across his jawline. 

How much of this could you enjoy before he kills you for breaking out? Just that thought had you slowly leaning in, your hand before tracing his face was leaning onto the bed to support your intrusion. 

First, you kissed his forehead. The poor fuck probably hadn’t felt the touch of a real lover in ages, he just finds and uses whatever and whoever he wants, whenever. Of course you didn’t pity him, but does he even know what being loved properly was like? You’re really one to be asking. 

You peck the smooth, hot skin, and kissed a line across his cheek, getting more sensual with the next. His touch, even sleeping was still so manly. His body was so, honestly the words seem odd, but he looked so edible. Like you almost couldn’t keep your lips off of him. He was so yummy when you get a good look at him. 

Cupping his face, your lips reach his, beginning to lightly stimulate the connection. You lean in further, applying yourself onto him, guiding open his mouth with yours as you lick his lips. This shit was getting you so excited, considering all that he’s done to you, having this moment, where you’re in control and he was at your mercy, and only you know this.

Continuing to make out with your kidnapper, you moved yourself to get on top of him. His lazy reaction of kissing back had you think he was a deep sleeper, god you really wished. 

You opened your eyes just to make sure he was still asleep, but his eyes were staring back at you, with the same look he always has. You didn’t have time to even make a sound before he had you under him. His hand grabbed your waist and turned kept you parallel to him as his leg pushed his body to get on top. 

You could feel his erection, he was basically stabbing your thighs with his head. His hands pushed your wrists into opposite sides of your head, and he has you immobilized as he sat on your legs. Most you could move was your toes and neck, but he had pressed his face up against yours. 

“I don’t even know where to start with you. If you wanted to kill me, you would’ve already. Maybe I can believe you’re just some random, …but you wouldn’t have come to my room.” He lets a wrist go to reel back and strikes your face as a warning. Seriously, no sane person would just come straight back to him in your situation.

“The guard fell asleep?” Nothing gets by him. You can’t tell if he was just prepared for everything or if he planned this out. The excitement you were feeling before was being clashed with the sudden shock to your face. “Depending how the rest of the night will go will determine his punishment.” 

Keeping everything in place, he moves your chin up by his nose, giving him space to start attacking your neck. “We’ll just start with yours.” His grasp tightened around each wrist, so much so that he was pulling on the tendons in your forearms, making your fingers involuntary curl. 

Your luck may have run out, but you weren’t as scared. Trying to enjoy the moment as much as possible, knowing fully well that you’re about to be eaten alive, and god, youve been waiting. His teeth grazed your collar bone, making their way back up, making themselves a known threat to your neck. 

“Speak.” He orders. “Who sent you?” 

“You still think I’m a spy?” The spot where he hit you was pounding, but it didn’t hurt. Other parts of your body were just pulsating along with your heartbeat, you knew he was going to take that as a sign of fear. 

“Hurry up, we have a meeting tomorrow so I’m trying to be considerate for everyone else.” 

He’s still not listening. You weren’t either at this point, finding his roughing up sort of endearing. Maybe he didn’t want to get blood on his bed, or maybe he did care about that stupid meeting. All you could feel was vigorous pulsating from your wrists, your face, your heart, and more than anything else, your pussy. 

This was literally what you came here to do, this was why he even took you with him wasn’t it? Seriously whatever big shot he thinks he is… this shit wasn’t legal; You were serious on going out with a bang, raising your hips to create some friction on his hard on. 

Sukuna seemed to notice the look in your eyes and gave you another firm slap. “Focus, doll.” He adjusts his hips a few inches too far down your liking, his hands being the only thing touching you. 

“Put it back.” You got this far, now he wants to start questioning you immediately after waking up? He picked you up after meeting and ignored you for two weeks, you’re about to do what most others would. Especially if they’re in the same situation with the same circumstances.

“You’re not the one to be giving orders, much less to me.” 

You raise your hips back up to his head, having it dip into you, crossing your clit but unable to enter fully. His tip could find its way in no problem, it was just his call, and that almost drove him over the edge. You’ve stopped fighting back, for something like your freedom and what’s better for you. 

What you were after now was just one more orgasm brought by that monstrous mf. He doesn’t drop his guard, or change his face at all as he accepted “your bait/distraction”. In this position, you’re still straight legged, laying in his bed as he has you held down, arms pinned, palms up, and legs trapped as he sat on your thighs. 

He could easily kill you now, but it would honestly leave a bad taste as no one’s been killed in his room before, much less even entered without permission. You both didn’t know what to think really. 

To you he’s some strange and strong asshole who’s been unclear if you were his sex toy or if you were “invited” and he was just being a terrible host. Honestly, it felt worse to you to have everything you needed; Without your freedom, you were honestly thinking it’d be better to be dead. 

To him, you were dangerous. You got it all right. From the room, to the person to bump into, to the alley. You could have been a spy laying low, from whichever gang he thought you were from, he thought it would be good to hold you off to send a message to see who would come collect you first. They wouldn’t send someone if they didn’t have something to say. 

At first he did just want to keep you until one of them sent them back another message. It didn’t matter what happened to you, honestly he got bored. He’s a busy man, there was really nothing else to say. 

So imagine his surprise how you came crawling all over him tonight. He knew an assassin would’ve done it before he even knew the door opened, they were to make sure it was quick. The attack would have had to been fatal, whether they succeed in one shot or have them die as they’re leaving. And how quick they leave is how desperately they want to live. 

You, just came in to stare at him and decided you wanted something else. And it didn’t seem like revenge. That was a first, especially for him. Right now he was allowing it, letting you go. There was no way you could harm him, he concluded. 

Looking down at you squirm and pout, upset on how close you were to getting what you’ve been aching from and for. He won’t drop his guard, but he sure as hell was silver platter served. Really how badly did you want it?

He connects your wrists at the top of your head with one hand, the other has its index finger and thumb at the base, controlling himself with those two fingers. He raises his erection and knocked it against your clit, the strikes sent waves of pleasure from your core to the top of your head and palm of your feet, having you whimper out. 

Your aching hole needed him, it was taking him so long. Seriously you wish he’d kill you now because this so actually torture. The only thing you could do was start to cry, tears leaving their corners and running into your hair. You were more than frustrated. Angry, horny, needy, powerless, you wanted it so bad you were losing control, it didn’t matter, no one else could judge you, and who would be worse than Sukuna?

“You came in here, climb all over me, just to cry now? You’re so pathetic.” 

“Please,” You whine. “I want you to put it in.”

His face changed, from laughing at you beg, to sharpening his focus. Even after all this, getting caught, threatened, insulted, you’ve started to beg for it. He takes his legs up from pinning yours, putting them to your sides as he aligns himself to your front hole. “Say it again.”

“Please Sukuna, put it in-“ He lowers his hips and dives deep into you. He watches as your head writhes. Instantly youre spread apart, the sudden plunge casted a warm blush across your face and electricity towards the tips of your fingers. “Oooh,” 

“Fuuuuuck.” He finished for you. He continues to grind deeply into you, quickly using his now free hand to gag you from waking everyone up. Good thing too as you were messy, fucked silly couldn’t cover it. You gave up control a long time ago. He wouldn’t kill you, not right now anyway, you especially wouldn’t let him without trying to get one last nut. It was diabolical how down bad he had you. It was more of your unhealed trauma and he just happened to be the best person to help you out, willing or not.

——————————————————————————

You lay there as the base of your back ached. Every part of your body was bruised again, you could only imagine to move again as you tried catching your breath. You had lost count on just how many times he’s forced an orgasm out of you, mind numbingly rich euphoria every time. Nothing else mattered, you were more than thrilled the first 2 times but started to wonder if he ever got tired. 

It wasn’t until after your fifth orgasm that he managed to get his first one in. You were honestly almost regretting climbing into his room but his second had him pinning you on your back as he lay on your lower torso and legs. You couldn’t feel anything but your pulsating cervix, half feeling good from the pain and lingering pleasure, the other half making you know that this was a mistake and the nausea was on you. 

Raising your free arm, you weakly start to pat his head. It was over, you insatiable perverted needs were fulfilled, so what were you going to do now? It’s not like you’re in love with the guy, you don’t even know if you’ll get to wake up tomorrow with this stunt. “It was worth it.” You thought. Running your fingers thorough his hair, and tracing his back, you fall asleep holding him, accepting that this is it.

#jjk x reader #jjk #jjk x you #jujutsu kaisen #x reader #dark jjk #tw #tw dark content #sukuna #sukuna smut #sukuna x reader #ryomen sukuna #nanami x reader #taaottw #taaotjjk #gojou satoru x reader #gojo smut #jjk gojo #satosugu #gojo satoru #geto suguru #mafia au #dddr #mdni

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 409: Bro I’m Straight Up Having a Good Time

Previously on BnHA: AFO murdered his brother like the mischievous knave he is. Bruce was all, “hey Kudou don’t look now but I think Yoichi might have given you his secret quirk that we didn’t know he had.” Kudou was all, “damn that’s wild, it almost feels like this is a pivotal moment that will change all our destinies forever, you’d think Horikoshi would have spent just a little more time elaborating on this but I GUESS NOT.” Back in the present day, AFO was all, “I’m just going to use all my quirks at once because fuck this kid,” and Katsuki was all, “lol oh shit.”

Today on BnHA: Kacchan is all, “okay, I know I should be hopelessly outclassed, but hear me out: what if I just win anyway. What if I just go ahead and blow his shit up, because this is the final battle, and this is what all of my character development has been building up to since day one. What if I just beat him, because I’m the guy who wins. Simple as that. What if I just kick his ass with my one quirk, and prove all the haters wrong.” Horikoshi is all, “okay, sure.” AFO is all, “wait, wha -- ”

oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my g

huh. well I wasn’t expecting to start tearing up less than two panels into this chapter but HERE WE ARE

I love that he’s screaming and crying with his balled up little fist right from the get go lol. he was born a pissed off baby

he’s so squishy

and so tiny!!!!?!?! !?!??!?!

and he was RAISED WITH LOVE. fucking thank you, lol. gonna print that out and frame it on my wall. turn it into a flashing neon sign to give me comfort any time I stumble across stray Mitsuki discourse lol

anyway. oh my goodness. if this is a sign of things to come, there’s a very strong possibility this chapter may destroy me. how exciting!!

yep. yep yep yep. this is for sure going to be the chapter that finally does me in. it’s been a great ride folks

you better not be thinking any thoughts about dying, young man. this had better be meant in the sense of “because I’ll be by your side supporting you instead”, as opposed to “because I will be a little pile of dust in about three seconds’ time oh shit”

(ETA: after finishing the rest of the chapter, I’m pretty sure it’s the former! the first flashback is a reference to his chapter 120 speech -- “even higher than you, Chosen One.” the second is a throwback to chapter 247, when he told Endeavor he only had his one quirk, but it was strong enough to do anything he wanted to do. and the third flashback is one he also had at Jakku when he sacrificed himself to push Izuku out of the way.

so to me, this reads like (1) a reminder of his determination to surpass Izuku and become the strongest hero; (2) foreshadowing for him defeating AFO with Explosion, the Little Quirk That Could; and (3) a reminder of his “origin.” that last one being important because nowadays it’s just as strong of a motivator as his original goal. back at the beginning of the series, all he cared about was being the strongest. now, though, he’s not just fighting for himself; he’s also fighting to atone, and he’s learned to put himself aside if necessary.

as for the dialogue, this reads like a continuation of his mental conversation with Izuku that he began in chapter 362 (“gotta win... right, Izuku?” “so, Izuku... can I still catch up to you?”), and then continued in chapter 406 (“for some reason, I feel like I could overtake you now”). so in that context, “I’ll no longer get in your way” basically means that he’s done chasing Izuku, and that he’s caught up now and can hold his own. his determination to get stronger hasn’t wavered. his confidence in his own quirk and his own skills hasn’t wavered. and his resolve to atone for everything he did to Izuku is as strong as ever. put those all together, and we have the recipe for quite a spectacular redemption fight. his follow-up to chapter 362.

because earlier when he fought Tomura/AFO, he was basically just trying to buy time. no one ever planned or expected him to have to face the Big Bad one-on-one; that was supposed to be Izuku’s job. he was only meant to be there as support. and in the end he wasn’t strong enough, and he nearly died. and rather than being able to support Izuku, he ended up being used against him.

but this time is different. he’s no longer the decoy, the distraction. he’s no longer the pebble. he won’t get in Izuku’s way, because this time he’s going to be strong enough to win the fight. he’s going to hold his own, and get the job done.

so yeah. “I won’t get in your way” = “you can depend on me”, basically. because he’s become that guy at last. the guy who shows up in the clutch and wins the day. the hero he always wanted to be. good stuff.)

OH MY GOD

once again, just really solid hero advice from All Might here. there’s a reason he’s the GOAT

lol but in all seriousness it does tug at my heart to see him shouting so desperately at this kid. especially knowing that he’s presumably feeling the same pride and awe that I am, but with a lot more heart-stopping terror mixed in because unlike me, All Might doesn’t know that Kacchan is actually going to live forever. he narrated chapter 285, All Might, have a little faith

AFO is the extra-est mfer to ever live. but also it really tickles me to think that Kacchan pissed him off THIS much. it’s kind of an honor in a way

of course his plan is to simply just blow AFO up. of fucking COURSE it is. maybe there will be brain cells later on in this chapter, but for now who even needs them lol

OH MY GOD?!?

DID THIS MOTHERFUCKER JUST BLOW THE FUCK UP FROM THE INSIDE?? am I seeing this right?? DID KACCHAN JUST SPONTANEOUSLY COMBUST ALL FOR ONE WITH HIS MIND

OH MY GOD OH MY GOD

(ETA: shoutout to AFO for being so analytical when I personally would have just been screaming, “OH MY GOD MY FUCKING EYEBALLS AHHHHHHHHHH.”)

THAT’S WHAT I’M SAYING THOUGH!! HIS POWER WASN’T DONE AWAKENING YET, APPARENTLY??

oh no wait it’s even better. this isn’t Awakening at all, this is just Katsuki playing 5D chess

so he actually did have brain cells the whole time then! Katsuki I sincerely apologize. you somehow had the presence of mind to make a goddamn minefield even in the midst of all of this hullaballoo

AND HE’S HUMBLE TOO LMAO

it’s true!! I’m people!! please ignore the multitude of times I’ve previously called him a dumbass, including earlier in this very chapter lol

hahahahaha yesssssssss

this chapter is incredibly validating for a number of reasons. I’m going to attempt to remain calm about it. but I’m enjoying this a lot ngl

oh AFO

:D :D :D

(ETA: you know what, I actually do have more to say about this. because I’ve lost track of the number of times I’ve debated with people about this very thing, lol. for a while there post-Jakku it was just constant pessimism about Kacchan’s future in the manga. all this stuff about how Katsuki doesn’t have a main villain. Katsuki isn’t important enough. Katsuki is being phased out. Katsuki isn’t strong enough. Katsuki’s done developing. Katsuki’s just a joke character now. Katsuki’s just the damsel in distress. Katsuki’s always going to be second fiddle to Izuku. etc. etc. etc.

and then this chapter -- this whole entire fight, really -- comes along, and it’s just nonstop rebuttals, lol. and it’s not just that he’s proving all the negativity wrong. it’s that he doesn’t even care about any of that. AFO is out here trying to goad him with that same “YOU’RE JUST A SIDE CHARACTER” bait, and in response Katsuki just hits him with a Howitzer and tells him to shut the fuck up. AFO thinks he can get to him by being petty, because AFO still sees him as the bratty kid from the Sports Festival. but the present day Katsuki has long since moved past all of that, and no longer gives a fuck whether or not he shares the spotlight. unlike AFO, who never lost his childish egotism, Katsuki has learned to see outside himself, and the resulting growth has made him a bigger badass than AFO could ever hope to be.)

(۶•̀ᴗ•́)۶

ouch

HAHAHAHAHA

bro I’m straight up having a good time. this recap is gonna suck this week because there’s absolutely no commentary I can think of to add other than “I’M REALLY ENJOYING THIS, THIS IS GREAT”

I want to take this entire chapter and get it tattooed on my face

sorry AFO. this must really suck for you

lmao. is that all Kacchan. tell him how you really feel

OH MY GOD NO WAY LOL

so, fun fact, I literally just read chapter 385 last night lmao. most fortunate timing I’ve ever had, holy shit

okay so lemme just add some more thoughts on this one really quick

Hawks deserves all the nice things in the world and I’m so sad I can’t give them to him, but at least he gets this. sweet sassy revenge

I am once again calling everyone’s attention to the fact that AFO continues to be his own undoing. congrats on screwing yourself over bucko

Kacchan’s sleeve ripping up Deku-style is once again making my Plus OFA Theory senses all tingly. it probably is just a coincidence and has nothing to do with OFA, but I can’t unassociate it now, so I’m just gonna sit here and read as much into it as possible

if I had a nickel for every time AFO’s eyes blew up in this chapter, I would have two nickels, and that is way too many fucking nickels jesus christ

ever since he came back from the dead, Kacchan’s been doing this thing where he is just really pretty at all times, even when he is being a gremlin. and honestly it’s taken some getting used to, although I’m not complaining

but like in this panel especially, it just really stands out to me how even his “GRYAHHH I’M GONNA KILL YA!!!” face somehow has this really cool, intense, piercing glare now and he no longer looks like a baby troll when he does this kind of thing lol

OH FUCK YEAH

୧༼✿ ͡◕ д ◕͡ ༽୨

“THERE’S NO WAY I COULD’VE WON THIS ALONE.” OMG. THAT KACCHAN CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT JUST HITS DIFFERENT EVERY DAMN TIME, I SWEAR

he and Hawks basically pulled a “you hold him and I’ll punch” lol. thanks for the assist Hawks

Mitsuki and Masaru being all, “my little baby boy!!” and “HOLY SHIT”, respectively, sent me all the way to the moon lmao

HELLO THERE YOICHI? fancy running into you here. just chilling out over in this montage of people close to Bakugou who are watching him kick ass. did you take a wrong turn, mayhap. you’re not inside of AFO, we know that much. and Deku, much as I’m sure he’d love to have a front row seat to all this, seems to have his hands full dealing with Tomura right now, sadly

so all of that does seem to raise an interesting question, no? where did you come from just now, and why? and when Kacchan says he’s not alone, is there perhaps more truth to that statement than even he knows? or am I once again just reading way too much into this lmao

anyway so yeah! that sure was fun. and with the end of the year approaching and back-to-back two-week chapter breaks coming up, I have a chance to do the funniest thing of all time, and still not manage to catch up, lol. nah but I’m gonna try my best though. pretty sure I should be able to manage

#bnha 409 #bakugou katsuki #all for one #bnha #boku no hero academia #bnha spoilers #mha spoilers #bnha manga spoilers #makeste reads bnha #sorry this is late I've been trying to post it for almost an hour #the 'post now' button was infuriatingly greyed out for some reason #ended up having to copy everything over to a brand new post and redo all the pics and formatting #thanks tumblr

[fortheloveofwonderland]

No Distance Left to Run | Part 2 | S.R

Previous Part | Next Part

Chapter Summary - On Rossi’s wedding day, Spencer discovers something that could change everything. You are still reeling from the aftermath of your confession and from events that transpired with your husband a few days prior.

Pairing - Spencer Reid / BAU Fem! Reader

Category - friends to lovers | mutual pining | angst with happy ending | smut minors DNI

Warnings - spoilers for 14.02 Starter Home, 13.23 Believer, 14.01 300, 14.14 Sick and Evil, very brief mentions of therapy, burns, abusive relationship, drinking, typical case related stuff, allusions to sex, hints at cheating, swearing, prison arc, abuse statistics, violence, arguing, tears, strangulation, hints at sexual assault.

WC - 9.7k

Part 2 - Never Have I Ever

Present Day

You inhaled deeply until your lungs couldn’t physically hold any more air. You held your breath while you counted to five in your head. Then you slowly exhaled the breath through your nose. You repeated the action three more times.

It was a tactic your therapist had forced upon you, to employ when you were feeling overwhelmed. At first you’d thought it was dumb, not believing the simple act of breathing could help bring you back from the brink. But time and time again you were proven wrong. 

Once you had calmed your rattled nerves you went to pick up the glass of wine from the coffee table. As you leaned to get it, your shirt sleeve rolled up a few inches, the pink scar on your forearm almost in the perfect shape of the state of Florida, caught your eye. 

That’s what Luke had told you in the hospital while the doctor was debriding your burn. 

“It kinda looks like Florida.”

“Excuse me?” 

“The wound. It looks like the shape of Florida.” 

His strange comment had made you laugh and it had taken your mind off of the pain of the doctor scraping debris from your wound. You supposed that had been Luke’s plan.

Before you picked up your glass you found yourself running your fingertips over the scar. It had been a long time since it caused you any pain, physical pain anyway. The residual mental anguish was yet to vanish entirely. It wasn’t the only scar adorned on your body, but it was the one that was the hardest to hide. 

In those days Spencer had taken the brunt of your anger. It hadn’t been deliberate, you didn’t mean to take your frustrations out on your best friend. It was almost a miracle after the way you’d treated him that he still called you his best friend. 

You pushed him away during that time, because if anyone was going to get to the bottom of what was going on it would be Spencer. He knew you so well, sometimes you thought he knew you better than you knew yourself. And he’d already started piecing together the truth that day in the Guymon police department. 

Maybe if you’d told him sooner he could have helped. Maybe if you’d just been honest with him that day when he asked, things wouldn’t have gone on for so long. 

“Did Jared do this to you?” 

“What? How can you even ask me that?” 

“That wasn’t an answer. You’re deflecting.”

“I didn’t think a dumb question warranted an answer.”

“You’re doing it again. Did he hurt you?” 

“Stop it, Spencer. Just stop it, ok? Stop it.” 

You were a strong, independent and fierce woman. You didn’t want to admit to your best friend, or anyone for that matter, that your husband was abusive. 

Was abusive. Past tense. 

You couldn’t fight back at home because it would make things so much worse, so instead you took your anger and your pain out on the one person who had done nothing but care about you since the moment you’d met him. 

And despite what you put Spencer through, he’d never once turned his back on you. This time however, you might have gone too far. 

You finally picked up the wine glass and sunk back against the couch cushions. You’d really messed up this time. You’d messed up with Spencer before, plenty of times, but this seemed worse somehow. 

After all these years you had absolutely no right to tell Spencer how you felt about him. You’d always known he was in love with you and you’d had ample opportunity to tell him you felt the same. 

Too much time had passed, too much had changed. He’d been single almost the entire time you’d known him, with the exception of Maeve. You’d had plenty of time before you met Jared to tell him how you felt. 

But now for the first time in the fifteen years you’d known him he was in a steady relationship. Max was sweet and uncomplicated and she seemed to make Spencer happy. 

They’d been dating around four months now and things seemed to be good between them. When he’d introduced her to the team, he’d been beaming, happier than you’d ever seen him. 

“Guys, this is Max. My…girlfriend.” 

No one even had a suspicion he’d been dating someone before he brought her along for drinks with the team just over a month ago. No one had a clue. 

“Girlfriend?” JJ spoke to everyone's confusion. 

“Yeah,” he blushed slightly, wrapping an arm around Max’s petite shoulders. 

“How long has this been going on for?” Emily smiled around her glass. 

“A few months.” Max answered for him. 

“After all these years the kid is still so hard to read.” Rossi chuckled. “It’s very nice to meet you, Max. I’m Dave.” 

You’d merely stood and stared as one by one the BAU agents introduced themselves to the slight brunette, meanwhile Spencer smiled proudly at her side. 

It wasn’t until later on in the evening Spencer found you outside the bar, leaning up against the wall and staring at the starry night sky.

“Hey,” he tentatively approached you. “You’ve been awfully quiet tonight.” 

You wanted to shake it off, to tell him you were just tired or something. But for some reason you couldn’t bite your tongue. 

“You remember when I got engaged?” You frowned at him, unable to hold back.

“Uh, of course I do?” His brows furrowed, not sure where you were going with this.

“I told you that I owed you more than having to find out at the same time as the rest of the team, that I should have told you first.” 

Spencer sighed with a slow nod of understanding. 

“You’re annoyed that I didn’t tell you about Max.” 

“Bravo, genius.” You scoffed.

You were a little on the rogue side of tipsy. Had you been more sober you wouldn’t have dared bring this up. 

“Well as I told you when you got engaged, you didn’t owe me anything. The same way I didn’t owe you anything.” He folded his arms across his chest.

“It’s different and you know it.” You spat. 

“It's no different.” He shook his head. “You left. You walked away. You made it perfectly clear that it didn’t mean anything to you so finally I met someone else.” 

“I never said it didn’t mean anything.” You scoffed, he was putting words into your mouth.

“No you’re right, you didn’t.” He stepped closer to you. “You didn’t say anything. For six months you haven’t once brought it up and I didn’t either because I didn’t want to look like an idiot. But you just left without a word and then you acted like it never happened. So I met Max and considering you’ve barely said two words to me in the last half a year, I didn’t think I needed to explain myself to you.” 

A tear escaped your eye as you pictured the way Spencer had looked at you that night and then the way he’d looked at you today. 

He’d been well within his right not to tell you about Max after what you’d done. He was right, you’d left and you’d never mentioned it again. You had tried to pretend it never happened because realistically it shouldn’t have happened. 

But it had and there was no changing that. Just because you wouldn’t talk about it didn’t make it any less real. And now for over seven months you had tried to forget it ever happened, but there was no forgetting. 

You sipped your wine and wiped your eyes before any more tears could fall. You heard the floorboards overhead creak with soft footsteps. You held your breath and listened intently as they crossed the room. 

You heard a door open gently and then the same footsteps on the landing. Another door opened and closed. A few minutes later you heard the toilet flush followed by water running in the sink.

You continued to hold your breath as the door opened and closed again and the footsteps headed closer to the stairs rather than back towards the bedroom. 

You downed your glass of wine as the footsteps started down the stairs towards you. 

***

Seven Months Ago

You gravitated down the hall without recalling telling your feet to do so. It was like a magnetic pull, as though you didn’t have control over your own movements. 

The case had taken the team to Varnville, South Carolina on what had initially looked to be a cold case when a mummified body was discovered in a wall. Rossi had gone on ahead to review the case and upon discovering a wealth of other bodies, dead between twenty years and one, the rest of you joined him.

You’d been worried about Spencer for weeks now, ever since his ordeal with Ben’s Believers and Benjamin Merva. He still had some residual bruising peppering his otherwise alabaster skin, as well as a scar forming on his lower lip. 

He’d tried to put on a brave face, mostly for Penelope who was suffering from PTSS from the abduction. But you knew Spencer well enough to know he wasn’t dealing with the aftermath as well as he liked to pretend. 

After Emily had called it a night and sent you all back to the hotel at around two am, you hadn’t been able to sleep. And somehow your body had moved without your meaning to do so, out of the room and down the corridor until you were standing outside of another door and knocking on it. 

You knocked quietly in case he was asleep but somehow you knew he wouldn’t be. You heard some shuffling from inside the room and then footsteps padding closer.

He opened the door and didn’t look at all surprised to see you. He’d changed out of his work attire and wore a pair of dark green flannel pants, a plain white t-shirt with his signature mismatched socks, one yellow and one red. Even after all these years it still shocked you a little to see him out of a suit and tie. 

“I’m fine, Y/N.” He offered you a meek smile, clearly knowing why you were here.

“Can I come in?” You asked gently. 

He swiped his tongue along his bottom lip before rolling it between his teeth. With a sigh, he nodded and held the door open for you. 

“You’ve barely talked about what happened.” You spoke as you were closing the door behind you. 

“That’s because there isn’t much to say.” He shrugged, moving across the room and leaning up against the desk. 

“Merva nearly killed you.” You swore if you squinted your eyes you would be able to see the knife still pressed against his Adam’s apple. 

“But he didn’t kill me. And I’m fine.” 

“If we were a second later Spence-”

“But you weren’t.” He chuckled, cutting you off. “You made it in time and I’m ok.” 

“It’s ok if you aren’t. What you went through was traumatic. You don’t have to pretend to be fine for me, Spencer.” 

“You’re a hypocrite.” He rolled his eyes, his tone changing sharply. 

“Excuse me?” You frowned. 

“How many times have I asked you if you were ok only to have you pretend you’re fine when your husband was abusing you?” He spat out, pushing himself away from the desk. 

Your back went rigid, your shoulders squared. You ground your teeth furiously. 

“Wow, thanks for making me wish I hadn’t bothered to check in. I was only trying to help and you go and throw that in my face?” You shook your head in disappointment. 

“And I was only trying to help you!” 

“I didn’t need your help!” 

“So you were just going to let him use you as a punching bag forever?” He scoffed. 

“It’s complicated and you know it.” You folded your arms to protect yourself. From what you weren’t sure. 

“It shouldn’t be.” He shook his head. 

“I didn’t come here to talk about Jared. I wanted to make sure you were ok but clearly that was a mistake.” You spun on your heels back towards the door and started marching towards it. 

He exhaled noisily, raking his fingers through his hair. 

“I’m not ok.” He confessed, his tone sounding as though it pained him to admit. You slowly turned back to him. “I haven’t been ok for a long time. It’s been a really bad few years.” 

“You’ve been through a lot.” You nodded, cautiously stepping back closer to him. “I don’t think you ever really got past your incarceration, everything that happened with Cat.”

“I didn’t.” He admitted with a shake of his head. “I know all the right things to say to a therapist so they would reinstate me. But I’m barely holding it together. Prison and Cat, Mr Scratch and then the Believers. It’s been a lot.” 

“It’s ok not to be ok.” You whispered, reaching him now and placing your hands on his shoulders to try and ground him. “I haven’t been there for you the way I should have been.”

“You’ve had a lot going on yourself.” He sniffed. 

“It didn’t stop you trying to be there for me. Instead of helping you, I’ve been pushing you away.” 

“It’s ok.” He shrugged. 

“No, it’s not.” You shook your head. “I’m sorry that I…I wasn’t strong enough to walk away from him.” 

“Strength had nothing to do with it. You’re without a doubt the strongest woman I have ever met.” He told you frankly, his own hands moving to cup your lower back.

“I married the wrong man.” You whimpered, glancing at your left hand on Spencer’s shoulder and the silver wedding band on your finger. “I knew it when he proposed to me. I knew it when I was walking down that aisle. And you knew it too, you were just too polite to tell me the truth.” 

“Yeah,” he nodded stiffly. “You did marry the wrong man.” 

A silent understanding passed between the two of you, the kind of understanding that existed only between two people who knew each other inside and out. 

And when he leaned in closer and his lips brushed against yours, it felt right. It felt like the most normal thing in the whole world. 

It continued to feel that way when he deepened the kiss, nearly fifteen years worth of feelings coming out in a single kiss. As he held you close he whispered against your lips, “after all this time? Always.” 

And you finally understood what he meant. 

It felt so normal that you didn’t question it when he led you towards his bed and started helping you out of your clothes. 

***

Present Day

The weight of what you’d done didn’t sink in until you woke up in the morning, curled up against your best friend's naked body. 

Spencer was sleeping soundly, his messy hair splayed out against the hotel pillow, one arm lightly draped across your hips.

You’d managed to creep out of his hold, redress and sneak out of the room before he woke up. And you’d just acted like nothing ever happened. You pretended like you hadn’t slept with your best friend. 

The footsteps on the stairs got closer and you exhaled, trying to clear your mind of thoughts of the past. 

The last thing you should have done was sleep with Spencer. No, the last thing you should have done was confess your love for him during a hostage situation. But sleeping with him had been a close second. 

But he was right, you’d walked away that morning and never looked back, buried your head in the sand and effectively shattered his heart by pretending it didn’t happen. 

You’d told him that night your marriage was complicated. He could never understand. He couldn’t understand because he’d never been married. He would also never understand the complexities of the situation because not only wasn’t he married, but he didn’t have children. 

“Mom?” A croaky voice came from behind you, right on cue. 

You plastered on a smile and turned slowly in the chair to see your daughter rubbing her tired eyes. 

“Hi sweet pea, what are you doing up so late?” You kept your voice quiet as she padded over to you. 

“Couldn’t sleep.” She fell to the couch next to you, immediately curling against you and resting her head on your shoulder. 

You wrapped an arm around her, using your other hand to smooth her messy hair back from her face. 

“When did you get home?” She stifled a yawn. 

“A few hours ago. It was a bad one.” You kissed her head. 

You didn’t make a habit of bringing cases home with you, but eight year old Adeline was far too smart for her own good. You often wondered where she got it from. 

She was her mothers daughter through and through, so much like you it often scared you. Looking into her eyes you sometimes felt like looking into a window to the past. 

She was the absolute light of your life, the first time you held her in your arms you thought your body might burst with the amount of love you felt for her. 

She nuzzled closer to you, yawning once more. 

“I missed you, mom.” She mumbled. 

“I missed you more, baby girl.” You closed your eyes and tried to revel in the feeling of your daughter in your arms. 

As she got older these moments would inevitably be few and far between. 

For a while the two of you sat like this, despite the late hour. Mother and daughter lost in their own little world. After a time you heard another door open above you and more footsteps padding down the stairs. 

A few moments later a messy haired and bleary eyed little boy appeared in the doorway. 

“Can’t sleep either, buddy?” You smiled at him. 

“No,” he pouted with a shake of his head. 

“Come on over.” You patted your lap and did as he was told. 

Finley was three years his sister's junior although almost as tall as her. He was equally as astute at Adeline but shared his looks with his father. 

He was the more sensitive of your two children, he wore his heart on his sleeve whereas Adeline was better at hiding her emotions like her mother. 

The five year old plopped himself down in your lap and you cradled him with your other arm. 

This was as close to a perfect moment as had ever existed. These two children were the best thing you’d ever done with your life. 

The love you felt for Adie and Fin knew no bounds. And no matter how many times Jared hit you, burned you, scarred you, you’d always be grateful to him for giving you your two incredible children. 

Despite the way he treated you he’d never laid a finger on your kids. He loved Adeline and Finely, he was an amazing father. It was just a shame he couldn’t be an amazing husband too. 

Maybe he’d always been a little controlling, but it was nothing you couldn’t handle. It got worse when he lost his job. Adeline was five and Finley was two. Jared became quick to anger, lashing out at you with his words. 

It started so small you barely noticed it. He’d felt his control slipping in his professional life after being fired and so he tried to regain it at home. 

The first signs had been when he started getting angry when you spent time with Spencer. He got jealous and would yell that he didn’t like how much time you spent with him. 

So you tried to limit your interactions with your best friend for the sake of your marriage. When you did manage to see him you always lied to Jared and told him you were with JJ of Penelope or Emily. 

The first time he hit you was when you arrived home from Mexico after Spencer’s initial arrest. You’d told him it was just a normal case when you’d hurriedly left in the middle of the night but eventually you’d had to tell him the truth.

The kids were asleep when you got home that night and you found him in the kitchen, a glass of scotch on the counter next to a half empty bottle.

“It’s bad,” you sighed as you dropped your purse to the counter. “We managed to get him extradited but he’s been detained. I can’t imagine what he’s going through.” 

“Maybe he shouldn’t have been so stupid as to go down to Mexico without telling anyone. If you ask me, he deserves it.” Jared scoffed, raising the glass to his lips. 

“He deserves to have been drugged and accused of murder?” You frowned at him. 

“How do you know it's an accusation? For all you know he murdered that woman.” He shrugged.

“Spencer did not kill Nadie Ramos. Spencer couldn’t hurt a fly.” 

“Urgh, there you go again.” He rolled his eyes, sipping more of the scotch.

“There I go again, what?” 

“Spencer this and Spencer that. Jesus, he’s all you ever talk about.” 

“Well that’s not true.” You rolled your eyes.

“Are you calling me a liar?” Jared slammed his glass on the counter, eyeing you wildly.

“No, that’s not what I said. I think you're exaggerating.” You felt yourself tense at the way he was looking at you. 

“I told you I don’t like you spending time with him.” His jaw was set in a firm line.

“I work with him, Jared. I have to see him. And one of us needs a job…” You spoke the last part under your breath but of course he heard you.

“Excuse me?” He spat at you. 

“It’s been months, Jared. My salary alone barely covers all our bills.” 

“You think I’m not trying? You think I like being out of work, being a fucking stay at home dad? This is my worst goddamn nightmare, Y/N!” He raised his voice and you flinched a little. 

“Your worst nightmare is spending time with your kids?” You cocked an eyebrow at him.

“That’s not what I meant.” He scoffed. “The only good part about this is spending more time with them. But I am climbing the freaking walls. You’re never here and that was fine when I was working too because I didn’t notice so much. I am going stir crazy, I feel like I have no purpose, no control.” 

“Of course you have a purpose.” You softened a little, rounding the counter towards him. “Those kids adore having you around all the time. Your purpose doesn't need to be tied to your professional identity. Just enjoy this time with them, you’ll find something soon enough.” 

You placed your hands flush on his chest and tried to calm him. You could feel his heart beating erratically beneath his shirt. 

“I love you.” He sighed, placing his own hands on your hips. 

“I love you too,” you smiled, getting on your tiptoes and kissing him. 

He wrapped his arms firmly around you, holding you in place. For a few brief moments everything was wonderful between you. And then your phone rang. 

You stepped back from his hold with a smile, pulling the device from your pocket. 

“It’s Emily, I should take this.” You nodded before turning your back on your husband. “Hey Em, is everything ok?” 

Emily proceeded to tell you that the FBI had effectively turned its back on Spencer, not willing to provide him with their legal services due to the fact he left the country without telling anyone. She told you about her old friend Fiona Duncan whom she was hoping would take on Reid’s case but it was ultimately a long shot. 

You took it all in, feeling sick to your stomach that the bureau would turn their back on him like that. Emily informed you Fiona was going to meet with Reid in the morning.

“I’ll meet you there, I need to see him.” Your voice shook a little.

“Ok, I’ll see you in the morning, try and get some sleep.” She replied. 

“You too.” You hung up the phone and when you turned back to Jared his face was entirely bright red. 

“You’re not going to see him.” He spat through a clenched jaw.

“He’s my best friend, Jared. He’s scared and alone right now. I need to see him.” 

“You will do what I tell you to do, woman.” 

“Uh, I will do what my team needs me to do. Thank you very much.” 

Suddenly he advanced on you, shoving you roughly back up against the wall. And when he smacked you hard around the face you felt your whole world crumble. 

Tears immediately filled your eyes, your cheek stinging from the contact. He quickly stepped away and turned back to his scotch.

“I did that because I love you.” He whispered around the glass of alcohol.

Every time he hurt you without fail he would follow it up with some kind of comment like that. You’d lost count of the amount of times he said the likes of, “you know I’d never intentionally hurt you,” or “I’m sorry that you think I hurt you.” 

By the time he poured scalding oil on your arm you’d grown used to it. You’d simply resided yourself to the fact this was your life now. 

You thought maybe when he’d eventually gotten a new job he would calm down, go back to being the man you fell in love with. But he never did. 

The Jared Haines that beat you, forced you into bed when you weren’t in the mood, yelled at you until you cried, wasn’t the same Jared Haines you’d married. 

You may have married the wrong man but you’d do it all over again for Adie and Fin. 

“I love you kids so much, never forget that.” You whispered as you held them tighter trying to stem your tears. 

“Love you too mommy.” Fin snuggled closer. 

“Love you mom.” Adie agreed. 

***

“There you are, boy wonder, I’ve been looking for you everywhere.” Garcia tottered over to him the second he walked in the room. 

“I’ve literally just walked through the door. What’s up Garcia?” He cocked an eyebrow at her. 

“I need to…” she glanced away from Spencer, to the petite brunette holding his hand. “Max, hi. Can I steal your boyfriend momentarily?” 

“Sure, go ahead.” Max laughed, letting go of his hand. 

Spencer bowed his head and kissed her cheek before Garcia was roughly grabbing him by the wrist and dragging Spencer behind her. 

The grand ballroom was decorated beautifully and tastefully but he barely had a chance to take it in before Penelope had accosted him. 

He’d arrived earlier than necessary in case Rossi needed any last minute help for his big day. But he hadn’t even made it to the bar. 

Penelope pulled him outside onto a large patio area where staff were setting up tables and fussing over centrepieces. 

“What is going on?” Spencer asked her, smoothing out his shirt once she pulled them to a stop. 

“Have you spoken to Y/N?” Her eyes were a little manic beneath her thick framed glasses. 

His stomach coiled into knots. Her panicked tone and frantic eyes immediately worried him. 

No, he hadn’t spoken to you. Not since you’d confessed your love to him yesterday. 

“No.” He shook his head. “What’s happened?”

“I know I’m not strictly a profiler but I like to think I’d mastered the basics. But I had no idea.” Garcia was spiralling. 

“Had no idea about what?” Spencer was desperate to get it out of her. 

“Well, when she first RSVP’d for today she only sent back three invites.” 

“Ok?” Spencer frowned. 

“Her, Adie and Fin.” 

“So Jared must be working.”

“That’s what I thought.” Garcia nodded.

“But?” Spencer asked slightly frustratedly. 

“You know me, I like answers. I like having all the facts, just like you.” She started pacing. “So, I asked her about it and she was super vague.” 

“Vague how?” Spencer watched her march up and down. 

“She said Jared wouldn’t be around, which is innocuous enough I hear you cry. But it didn’t sit right with me. It didn’t feel right.” She sounded exasperated. 

“Penelope,” Spencer stepped in front of her so she couldn’t keep pacing and placed his hands on her shoulders. “Please spit it out.” 

She huffed loudly and somewhat childishly. 

“Spence, I did some digging.” Her face paled a little and Spencer was suddenly terrified by what she might have found. 

“And?” He swallowed, lowering his arms to his sides. 

“I found a police report from five days ago. DC Metro was dispatched to 184 Calvert Street after an eight year old girl called the cops when she heard a gun shot.” Garcia’s face paled as she spoke, so did Spencer’s. 

“You…but I…” he swallowed, wobbling on his feet. “That’s Y/N house.” 

“Duh,” Penelope rolled her eyes. “Adie called the police when she heard the gun go off. In her statement she told them that she found her dad with a gun in his hand and his other wrapped around her mom’s throat.” 

Spencer’s colour somehow drained even further as he glared at Penelope. 

“Y/N got shot? But she was at work the next day. I remember it was the day I got back from teaching.” His heart rate increased dangerously so. He felt it beating all throughout his body. 

“According to the reports no one was seriously hurt. The bullet hit the wall. Bruises on her neck could have been covered by make-up.” Penelope tried to calm him before he got too worked up. 

“And Adie saw it?” 

“Oh that poor sweet angel. I can’t even imagine what that must have been like.” 

“Fin?” Spencer swallowed

“Was in bed. You know what a sound sleeper he is.” Garcia smiled sadly. 

“So what exactly happened?”

“The police arrived pretty fast, looks like within a few minutes. Adie, being the smart cookie she is, informed the police dispatcher that her mom is an FBI Agent so they were quick on the scene. From what I’ve managed to piece together, Jared wrestled her gun out of her holster and shot at the wall. Adie heard raised voices, and an argument ensued and he got Y/N up against the wall by her throat.

Cops took them in for questioning, he was arrested but given the chance to post bail for which he couldn’t afford and Y/N, thank god, did not pay it. So now he’s in jail awaiting trial. If he’s found guilty he could be looking at anywhere up to twenty five years for attempted murder.” 

Spencer closed his eyes, ruminating on every single one of Penelope’s words. He should have known it would come to this. He should have tried harder to get you to open up about what was going on at home. 

It never should have gotten this far. 

“Fuck,” he shook his head, opening his eyes again. 

“Why don’t you seem all that surprised by this?” Garcia had her eyebrow cocked.

Spencer looked past her a moment, out across the lawns beyond the patio. He’d tried so hard to convince you that you could trust him, that he could help you. 

He should have tried harder. Goddamnit he should have tried harder. 

***

2019

It had been a long time since Spencer had gotten a chance to spend any real time with you and he tried to make the most of it despite the fact your head was clearly elsewhere. 

He was sure he knew what it was that was going on. Ever since he’d seen that burn on your arm he’d been sure of it. But no matter how many times he tried to talk to you about it, you always denied it. 

You’d gone to the movies and for coffee but you kept checking your phone every few minutes, clearly distracted by something. 

You’d been quiet, you’d been quiet a lot lately. He’d hoped getting to spend one on one time with you would help you open up. 

He’d done all the talking, rambling at times because you wouldn’t engage him with more than a few words at a time. Even when he’d asked about the kids you’d simply replied, “yeah, they’re good.” 

Tucked away in the back of the coffee shop you checked the time again, tapping your fingers on the table. 

“Am I keeping you from something?” Spencer finally asked, a hint of frustration in his voice. 

“No,” you shook your head. “I just told Jared I’d be home by four and I don’t want to be late.” 

“You have a curfew now?” 

“What’s that supposed to mean?” You snapped. 

“He doesn’t trust you to spend too much time with me, is that it?” Spencer leaned forward on the table. 

He saw something flicker behind your eyes before you tried to disguise it by taking a sip of coffee. 

“He does know you’re with me, doesn’t he?” Spencer narrowed his eyes on you. 

“He…I…no.” You shrugged. “He thinks I’m out with Penelope.” 

“You’re lying to your husband about who you’re hanging out with?” 

“He doesn’t…he doesn’t like you.” You confessed. 

“You’re a grown woman, Y/N.” He scoffed. “He tells you who you can and can’t hang out with?” 

“It’s not like that.” You huffed. 

“And if he found out you were here with me, what would he do?” Spencer leaned even further forward, like he might pounce across the table at you. 

“I don’t know what you mean.” You wouldn’t meet his eye. 

“Would he burn you again?” 

“Stop it.” You spat. “You don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Or would he just hit you? Bruise you?”

“Stop it.” 

“I’ve seen the bruises, Y/N! No one is that clumsy, least of all you.” His eyes turned sad as he reached across the table for your hand. It broke his heart the way you flinched. “Why won’t you let me help you?”

“Because it's not that simple.” You growled. “I’m begging you to leave this alone, Spencer.” 

“Y/N if he’s abusive just say the word and we can have him arrested.” 

“Spencer, I have children. It’s not just black and white.” 

“Does he hurt them? Does that asshole hurt my god children?” Spencer squeezed your hand. 

“Of course he doesn’t.” You hissed. “I would never let him lay a finger on them. If he ever touched my kids I would kick his ass to the curb.” 

“But you’ll let him hurt you?” He shook his head. 

“Spencer, marriage is complicated.” 

“Oh please, like I couldn’t possibly understand.” He rolled his eyes. 

“I have two kids who worship the ground their father walks on. He is an amazing dad, Spencer. I don’t want them to grow up without him.” You snatched your hand back from under his. 

“But you want them to grow up without you?” He frowned. “Because that's how this is going to end. Do you know four thousand women die every year at the hands of an abusive spouse? The presence of a gun in the house increases the risk of homicide by five hundred percent.” 

“And out of those four thousand, seventy five percent of those victims were killed whilst trying to leave their partner.” You spat back. “Do you not think I’ve thought about that? Spencer, just leave this alone. It’s none of your concern.” 

“I can help you.”

“No, Spencer, you can’t. And if you tell anyone about this, I will deny it. And without me willing to press charges, you’ll only make things worse. I am begging you to leave this alone.” You got to your feet. 

“You expect me to just sit by and watch while he hurts you?” He whined a little. 

“I’m asking you to just let it go. Please. I’ve got it under control. Stop trying to be a hero.” 

He couldn’t do anything but watch you go. And he hated himself for not doing something to help you. 

***

Present Day

“I knew he was violent. I knew he was abusing her. I could never get her to do anything about it.” Spencer admitted, shaking his head at his own stupidity. 

“He’s hurt her before?” Penelope pouted. 

“Yeah.” Spencer nodded sadly. “More than a few times.” 

“Do you think he’s ever hurt those poor sweet children?” Penelope’s lip quivered. 

“No, she said if he ever laid a hand on them she’d leave.” He inhaled sharply. “Fuck, he’s in jail.” 

“He surely is, boy wonder.” Penelope grabbed him by the bicep. “He can’t hurt her again. Don’t blame yourself, giant brain. This isn’t your fault.” 

“I could have stopped it.” He raked his fingers through his hair which he’d spent hours sweeping neatly back off of his face. 

“No one could have stopped it.” She squeezed his arm. 

“I could have. If I’d just been honest with her all those years ago.” 

“Honest about what?” Garcia’s eyebrows knitted together. 

“She asked me…” he trailed off and swallowed thickly. “She asked me when she got engaged, and on her wedding day, if I thought she was marrying the right man. I didn’t answer her. I should have. I should have told her he wasn’t the man she should be marrying.” 

“You couldn’t have known then that this was going to happen. Reid, you can’t beat yourself up over this.” 

“You don’t get it.” He shook his head, dislodging his arm from her firm grip. “I should have told her he wasn’t the man she should be marrying, because the man she should have married is me.” 

Penelope’s mouth fell open and her eyebrows furrowed deeper. She eyed him curiously, like she was trying to complete a complex puzzle and he’d just handed her the missing piece but she had no idea what to do with it. 

“You…? I don’t understand.” 

“I have been inconceivably in love with Y/N since the first moment I met her. For fifteen years. If I’d not been so scared of telling her, maybe she would have never married that asshole.” He shook his head in frustration. 

Penelope opened her mouth to speak but before she could, someone else did. 

“Wow,” the voice cracked and Spencer spun quickly towards the sound. 

“Max,” he drew his lip between his teeth. “Max I am so-”

“Don’t.” She shook her head. “I heard enough.”

“I’m sorry.” He shrugged, not knowing what else to say. 

“Yeah, me too.” She spat, turning on her heels and rushing back in the direction she’d just come. 

As she fled, she almost ran right into someone but kept her head down to shield the fact she was crying. 

You stumbled a little on your heels as you narrowly avoided Max, one hand on each of your kids backs as you guided them outside. 

You looked over your shoulder Max and then between Spencer and Penelope. 

“What did I miss?” 

***

Five Days Prior

The house was deathly silent when you entered through the front door a little after eleven pm. You knew from past experience silence in your home was never good. 

You’d just arrived back from a case in Lewiston, Maine where women were being killed in houses believed to be haunted. 

It had been long and gruelling, cases without Spencer usually were. Since prison and his agreement to mandated leave days, things hadn’t been the same on the team. 

He was due back tomorrow and at least that meant the cases might move a little faster. 

You dropped your go bag on the floor by the door. The kids would be asleep and you were sure you would find your husband in the kitchen with a drink in his hand. 

You knew this would be bad. You were prepared for it to be bad. You’d unclipped your holster but didn’t put your firearm in the safe like usual. You weren’t taking any chances. 

Before leaving for Maine things had reached breaking point. You’d been getting Adeline ready for bed, tucking her in when she’d startled you by grabbing you by the arm. 

She proceeded to push your cardigan down one arm, revealing a large purple bruise on your shoulder, spreading down towards your collarbone. But it was her words that shocked you more. 

“Daddy did that, didn’t he?” 

“Wh-what?” You were quick to pull your sleeve back up. “What makes you think that, sweet pea?” 

“I saw him. I saw him shove you. And it’s not the first time.” 

It transpired your extremely smart eight year old had been privy to her fathers dark side. She regaled you of how many times she’d witnessed Jared pushing you around, screaming at you until you cried. 

She’d concluded by telling you she wouldn’t be sad if you left him. And maybe that was all the impetus you needed. 

You stayed with Jared, put up with his violence for your children. You’d always told yourself as long as it didn’t affect them you could stay. 

But now it had affected them, Adie at least. And that was the final straw. 

You’d packed a bag before you left for Maine. You’d planned to wait until Jared was at work and you and the kids were going to stay with David Rossi. 

You didn’t tell him why and thankfully he didn’t ask. But you felt the most safe at his home, given all the security you knew you and the kids could stay there until you figured out your next move. 

But before you had the chance, Jared figured you out. 

This morning you’d received a text from your husband with a photo of your bag and the simple question: where the fuck do you think you’re going? 

As you slowly headed towards the kitchen, you were reminded of a conversation with Spencer last year in the coffee shop. 

“Do you know four thousand women die every year at the hands of an abusive spouse? The presence of a gun in the house increases the risk of homicide by five hundred percent.”

“And out of those four thousand, seventy five percent of those victims were killed whilst trying to leave their partner.”

Your heart rattled in your chest and you felt your stomach coiling into tight knots. One way or another tonight was going to be the end, whether because you made it out of the house or because Jared killed you.

Your hand hovered above your firearm as you crossed the room towards the kitchen. You pushed open the door and held your breath. 

Your bag was in the centre of the kitchen island, Jared looming over it, a glass of scotch in his hand. When he saw you, he downed the contents and slammed the glass so violently on the counter top it smashed in his hand.

He didn’t even seem to notice. 

“Jared, before you say anything I-”

“Shut up.” He spat, not raising his voice. Not yet. “You don’t get to speak. Planning on leaving me, huh? What was the plan, Y/N? You take my kids away and you think I won’t come after them? You think I’d let you get away with taking my kids?” 

“I don’t want them to grow up with a father who is a bully.” You stood your ground, hand still hovering over the butt of your gun.

“I’ve never laid a hand on them.” He snarled. 

“But Adie has seen what you do to me. I don’t want them to have to witness that. What kind of example am I setting for my little girl if I let a man push me around?” You clenched your jaw.

“Adie isn’t a bitch like you.” He started towards you slowly. “She wouldn’t need a man to put her in her place.” 

You refused to show him fear. If this was where it ended you wouldn’t give him the satisfaction. 

“Just let me go. Let us go.” 

“Please,” he scoffed. “So you can go and play happy families with Reid?” 

“It’s not like that.” You rolled your eyes. 

He got closer and you found yourself backing up. 

“I wasn’t born yesterday.” He advanced on you until your back hit the wall and he was towering over you. 

“This has nothing to do with Spencer.” You tried to insist, fingers brushing your gun. “The fact of the matter is, I don’t love you anymore, Jared. Not like I used to. How can I love someone who treats me the way you do? I’ve let this go on long enough. You’ve hurt me too many times.”

Out of nowhere your tears started to fall, thick and heavy as they rolled down your cheeks. You hadn’t even realised you were going to cry. 

“Only because I love you, sweetheart.” He smiled menacingly at you. 

“I put men like you away for a living. I shouldn’t have fallen victim to this.” Your eyes clouded with tears, you could barely see him and they felt like they burnt as they rolled down your cheeks. 

“You need putting in your place sometimes. You’re too sensitive.” He raised his hand and wrapped it tightly around your bicep, squeezing so hard you knew he’d leave yet another bruise. 

“Please let me go.” You whimpered, unable to keep up your strong facade. “Please?” 

“Baby, I will never let you go. I love you, we belong together.” He let go of your bicep and his hand moved to your face. 

He gripped your jaw in his hand, forcing his lips on yours. You tried to push him away with one hand while the other wrapped around the butt of your gun. 

“Stop it!” You cried while he kissed you. “Stop it, Jared!” 

He tore his lips away from you and looked at you through dark eyes. Then his gaze wandered. You felt the exact moment he noticed your hand on your gun. 

“You gonna shoot me, Y/N?” He scoffed. “You’d kill the father of your children?” 

Spencer’s words rang clear in your head. 

The presence of a gun in the house increases the risk of homicide by five hundred percent. 

As you went to draw your weapon his large hand was on top of yours, squeezing your fingers into a vice like grip until you howled in pain and your hold on the gun faltered. 

He managed to wrestle the gun free of your holster and draw it. He pointed the barrel right at your head for a brief moment before shifting its aim slightly to the left and pulling the trigger. 

You screamed as the gun went off and the bullet flew past your face and into the kitchen wall. He refocused it on you while you trembled with sobs. 

Spencer was right. This is how I’m going to die. 

“Please, Jared. Put the gun down. You don’t want to do this.” You held your hands up, trying to keep your breathing measured. 

It wasn’t as though it was the first time you’d had to stare down the barrel of a gun, but it didn’t make it any less terrifying. Least of all because it was your husband pointing it at you. 

You were trained in negotiating with psychopaths but all your knowledge went out of the window. All you could think about was how you were going to die and that the kids would no doubt have to find your body. 

“Please. Think of the kids. Think of Adie and Fin. Please don’t let them grow up without a mother.” Tears continued to roll down your cheeks at an alarming rate. 

Jared scoffed, gun still levelled at you. 

“You were going to let them grow up without me! You were going to leave and take them away!” He yelled. 

“I won’t, I swear. Just put the gun down and I promise we won’t leave. We can still be a family.” Your body trembled viciously as he took a step closer to you. 

“What does he have that I don’t?” He growled at you, moving closer until the gun was pressing against your forehead. 

“Wh-what? Who?” 

“Spencer!” He spat. “You’re sleeping with him aren’t you?” 

“Of course I’m not.” You shook your head, the cool metal jabbing into your skull. 

“Liar!” He used his other hand to grab your bicep again, making you wince. “Tell me the truth!” 

“One time.” You sobbed. “It happened one time.” 

Jared’s eyes turned darker but he lowered the gun to his side. His jaw pulsed as he clenched and unclenched his teeth. 

“I’m sorry.” You cried. “I'm so sorry.” 

“You fucked another man?” He hissed. “And you wonder why I don’t like you being around him!” 

His free hand raised and you flinched thinking he was going to hit you. Instead his palm came down against your throat, lightly at first. But it wasn’t long before he was tightening his grip, fingers digging into your neck while he put pressure on your trachea. 

The gun hung from his other hand and you felt it knocking against your leg. Maybe you could take him off guard, grab it while he was focused elsewhere. 

“You were going to leave me for him? Have him raise our kids?” He squeezed and you choked, fighting for air. 

“N-no.” You whimpered. “It wasn’t like that.” 

“Do you have feelings for him?” He used his grip on you to slam your head back against the wall. “Do you love him?” 

“Yes.” You confessed, unable to stop the word leaving your lips. And then you stupidly followed it up with, “he’s ten times the man you’ll ever be.” 

Jared snarled and his grip got firmer, his large hand able to wrap almost the entire way around your throat. His fingers dug painfully into your flesh while his palm constricted your breathing.

“You fucking bitch.” He spat. “If I can’t have you, no one can. I’m doing this because I love you.” 

You closed your eyes, unable to fight for those breaths you so sorely needed to refill your lungs anymore. Instead you resided yourself to it, knowing nothing you could do or say would make this better. 

Jared was going to kill you. 

You started going light headed, as he shook you by your neck, violently choking you. It wouldn’t take long before your lack of oxygen caused you to pass out. 

You thought of your kids. You pictured little Fin and Adie being raised by this man. What would become of your two happy children if they lost their mother this way?

You thought of Spencer and the night you’d spent together and how you should have told him how you felt then. Or how you should have told him how you felt fifteen years ago. Life was painfully short, you shouldn’t have wasted a minute not being honest about your feelings. 

You felt yourself ebbing towards unconsciousness, knowing it was only a matter of time. Maybe it would have been better to let him shoot you, at least it would have been faster. 

Somewhere in the house you swore you heard a door open. But your head was hazy, you barely registered it. You just prayed your children wouldn’t witness this. 

And then everything happened so fast. 

A voice entered your ears, male, not one you recognised. But you couldn’t work out what they were saying. 

“Sir, step away. Put the gun down.” 

Then the grip on your throat loosened and you were able to gasp for air, your shaky legs barely holding you upright. 

You clutched your chest, using the wall to balance yourself. You blinked several times to focus your vision.

Two uniformed officers, DC Metro insignia on their breast pockets. One male, one female. The man held a gun, the woman was slapping cuffs on your husband's wrists. 

“Ma’am?” The man holstered his weapon, stepping closer to you. “Ma’am I’m Officer Joseph Leakes, this is my partner Officer Maddie Burnett.” 

You nodded but closed your eyes, a wave of dizziness washing over. You stumbled on your feet and then you felt a hand on your shoulder. 

You flinched involuntarily and opened your eyes to see Officer Burnett now in front of you instead of Leakes. She was smiling softly at you, she had kind brown eyes. 

Right, I’m a victim of domestic violence, don’t let the man touch me. Good call, you thought in an absent mind. 

Burnett led you over to a chair at the kitchen counter while she exchanged a glance with Leakes who was tugging your husband by the cuffed wrists towards the door. 

“It’s all a misunderstanding!” Jared tried to fight the cop off. “Tell them Y/N! Tell them it’s all a mistake! They got it wrong!”

You simply blinked in response. 

A glass of water was in front of you somehow and Burnett was still smiling at you. 

“Mrs Haines?” She asked softly. You shuddered.

“Never…never changed my name.” You shook your head. “Y/N, please.” 

The officer nudged the glass of water closer to you and you wrapped your shaky hands around it. 

“Are you ok? Do you need medical attention?” The kind eyed cop asked now. 

“No.” You slowly raised your glass to your lips but before you could sip you put it back down again. “M-my kids? Where are my k-kids?” 

You glanced around the room, needing to see your beautiful children and make sure they were ok. 

You felt a small hand on your arm and blinked rapidly to try and clear the fog from your brain. 

Your eyes met your daughters and you quickly threw your arms around her. 

“Adie!” You sobbed. “Oh baby girl.” 

“It’s ok mommy.” She sniffled, burying her head against your chest. “It’s ok. He can’t hurt you anymore.” 

“You have a very brave little girl.” Burnett spoke somewhere from over your shoulder. “She called 9-1-1 when she heard a gunshot.” 

You pulled back from the embrace and cupped her little face, staring intently at her.

“Did I do good, mommy?” She looked up at you through her large eyes. 

“Oh sweet pea,” you choked on another sob, throwing your arms back around your daughter. “You did so good.” 

***

Burnett took your statement once you were able to focus your mind again and she also took Adie’s statement. Fin, gratefully, slept through the whole ordeal. 

A CSU tech arrived later and took photographs of your neck, of the bullet lodged in the wall and collected evidence from your gun. 

Before leaving Burnett told you Jared would be detained. He would most likely be offered the chance to post bail. 

When he’d lost his job, finances had been tight. You’d tried to squirrel away what you could and opened a separate bank account in your own name during that time. Burnett informed you that if your money was in an account solely in your name you would have the choice whether you paid his bail or not. If the money remained in a joint account he could access it to foot the bill.

First thing in the morning you were going to transfer all of your money over to your own bank account and ensure Jared didn’t have the opportunity to come back and finish the job he started. 

She said she would do everything she could to help you keep Jared away, she even left you her personal cell number. Unfortunately you knew all about the way in which the state of Virginia tended to side with men in these instances, despite physical proof. 

Once Burnett left you spent several hours on the couch with Adie in your lap, stroking back her hair and rocking her like you did when she was a baby. 

You had no idea the kind of trauma this would cause her, you would no doubt have to look into getting her therapy before what she’d seen went untreated. You’d been seeing a therapist yourself for the last year on and off due to your anxiety which had been brought on as a result of Jared’s tempered mood swings. 

You’d speak to Adie about it another day. Right now you were content in holding your daughter. 

Eventually she fell asleep in your arms, you were grateful she was able to. You carried her to bed and kissed her forehead when you tucked her in. You checked on Fin before heading towards your own bedroom. 

Stepping inside that room everything caught up on you. The bed in which Jared had forced you into more times than you could count, the subtle dents in the walls where he’d thrown things at you. 

You caught a glimpse of yourself in the mirror on the dresser. Your neck was covered with a fresh array of bruises, red and angry and in the distinctive shape of fingers. It wouldn’t be the first time you’d had to cover marks and blemishes with make-up, but this would be harder than most. 

And out of nowhere your legs gave way and you crumbled to the floor as a new fit of sobs wracked your body. 

It felt like the world's longest night and it was only just the beginning. It was going to be an arduous uphill battle if you were to keep Jared away from you and protect your kids. 

But you didn’t have the strength to think of any of that right now. You curled up in a ball and sobbed on the floor of your bedroom for what felt like hours. 

Without really thinking, you found your cell phone still in your pocket and your fingers moved of their own accord as you brought up your contacts, dialled his number and put the device to your ears.

You counted the rings. Eight in total. Eight rings before it clicked over to voicemail and his outgoing message flooded your ears. For a moment it provided you comfort. But then you started sobbing all over again. 

“Hello, you’ve reached Doctor Spencer Reid. I can’t come to the phone right now. Leave me a message and I will get back to you.” 

@andiebeaword @muffin-cup @dirtytissuebox @dreatine @matthew-gray-gubler-lover @people-whatabunchofbastards @justreadingficsdontmindme @spencer-reid-wonderland @thebloomingeagle @frostandflamesfanfic @pixiehex1985 @release-your-sweets @mavel-fan-for-life @megan-mars

#spencer reid #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid fanfic #spencer reid smut #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x fem! reader #spencer reid x you #spencer reid x y/n #criminal minds #criminal minds fanfiction

[ginnsbaker]

In Flames I Sleep Soundly (2/2)

Chapter Summary: The aftermath.

Word Count: 9k+

Pairing: Wanda Maximoff x Fem!Reader

Chapter Warnings: Angst, Non-graphic depictions of violence

Author’s Note: Thank you for your patience, I hope... I don't know what I hope. I'm just grateful that you guys took the time to read this piece and leave comments in my inbox. I do have more to say later, but for now I just needed to post this. 

Let me know if you have some questions or clarifications. (yes, I wrote this sentence after sending a work email)

AO3 / Part One / Masterlist

--

Part Two

You’ve always thought that life is like a train ride. 

And as a passenger, you know only two things: the direction of the course and its scheduled stops. And so, it’s like this: get born into the world, take your first steps, go to elementary school, go to high school, go to college, get a job, get married, have children, have grandchildren, and then die in your sleep. If there’s an afterlife, perhaps get resurrected into a young version of you, and move into another train. And then begin another journey. 

But what the passenger doesn’t know is that a train can only move forward when it’s on its rails. And this is where the helplessness of every individual in that train becomes apparent. Your life–or at least how you want it to go–is not entirely in your hands.

For you, a single phone call managed to completely derail your train from its tracks. And then, as if still unsatisfied, it plucked you violently from it and left you on your own in the middle of nowhere.

You didn’t know where to go, only where you’ve been. Like a diamond blade that cuts through steel, it segmented your life into just two parts: Before and After.  

Before was going home to your wife after a tedious day, resting your head on her lap while she threads her fingers through your hair.

After is knowing those same delicate fingers raked through someone else’s tufts of blonde in throes of passion. 

Before was her telling you she loves you and feeling it to your bones.

After is her telling you she loves you and only hearing a lie.

Split in the middle, you presume you can simply choose to live in one or the other. 

***

“Love’s a fucking bitch.”

Inside your car, you’ve been quiet the whole time, just staring at the photos in Natasha’s phone. You stare at Wanda walking out of the theater, hand-in-hand with a tall, lanky man you don’t recognize. 

“His name is Victor Shade. Goes by ‘Vision’. The only son of a high-profile neurosurgeon on the East Coast.” Natasha tells you, eyeing you closely.  

You brush your thumb against the image of the laughing woman in the picture. She wore your wife’s face and smile, but all you see is a stranger. 

“What are you going to do?” Natasha asks.

Briefly, you consider this could all just be a prank. Maybe Wanda is watching you fall apart right now, giggling in hiding because she got you this time. At least it’s the sort of cruelty you’d fight over for a day or maybe a week, and then laugh about in ten years.  

“Y/N?” Natasha tries again.

You finally look up at her and immediately hate the look of pity on your best friend’s face.  

“I don’t even know where I’m sleeping tonight.” you say, handing back her phone. 

“I don’t think that’s a good idea. You should talk to Wanda.”

The laugh that bubbles up your throat is nothing short of deranged. For almost a minute, you laugh into your steering wheel until tears begin to prick at the corner of your eyes. Natasha watches you with a worried expression, her hand hovering over your back hesitantly. She thinks about the beautiful person she met in kindergarten, the girl who gave her own blue crayon so Natasha could color the sky properly while she was left to color hers with a red one. It hurts her to witness the light snuff out of the person who was her own light in her darkest moments. And when your laughter subsides into muffled sobs, she cries with you. 

When you’re done, you systematically wipe the tears and snot off your face with the sleeve of your shirt. Natasha patiently waits for your next move.

“Did you get his address?” you ask with a surprisingly steady voice. 

“Yes, apparently it’s in one of the luxurious apartments near the university.” Natasha says as she texts you the exact address. 

“Good,” you say, then turn your attention to the empty roads ahead of you. 

You lied when you had implied to Natasha that you didn’t know what you’re going to do. 

***

A Victorian style of housing is unheard of in this part of New Jersey, but here you are, standing outside of one. His rental is on the second floor at the end of the street where a sports car is parked carelessly in its spacious garage–an august flex coming from a college kid. Wanda crosses your mind once again as you take in this grandiose lifestyle before you. Was it money that attracted her to him? You never pegged her for a gold-digger, but then again you also didn’t peg her for a cheating whore. You screw your eyes tightly shut at the unpleasant adjectives you now associate with your wife as you lose some of yourself in the process. There’s something frightening and unfamiliar threatening to consume your entire being, and you have no clue what to do with it. 

With a deep breath, you walk to his doorstep and ring the doorbell. A few moments later, you jerk in surprise as the door swings wide open towards you, the lock stile of the wooden panel narrowly missing your forehead.

“Sorry, I keep meaning to get that fixed and it’s easier to push,” A man in his early twenties with yellow blonde hair comes into sight. 

“Can I help you?” he asks. 

You have to tilt your head back slightly in order to meet his cerulean eyes. 

“You’re Vision?” you ask.

“Actually, it’s Victor Shade. But yes, everyone calls me Vision.”

“How old are you?” 

Vision shuffles his feet, uncertain if he should answer your question. It’s rhetorical of course, a question you didn’t mean to actually come out of your mouth. You could guess–but truthfully, you’d rather not now. 

“Who are you?”

“Y/N Maximoff.”

He raises his eyebrows quizzically, your name not ringing a bell.

“Wanda’s wife.” you supplement domineeringly, as if declaring it would stake your claim on her once and for all. He drops his gaze at the mention of your wife’s name, like a child that has been caught doing something he shouldn’t. It doesn’t matter that he’s at least half a foot taller than you are. He isn’t quite a man. Not to you.

“May I–May I come in?” you ask as politely as you could. 

After a second of doubt he smirks, and then says, “Sure.” You can sense the shift in his stance. He knows you’re onto him, and this is a showdown. Like any Alpha male scrambling to be on top of the food chain, he finds you to be an exciting piece of challenge. It makes you wonder if he was looking forward to this moment as much as you were dreading it.

You didn’t notice before that he’s barely covering his naked torso with a peacoat, and you try not to think about what brought on his current state. If by chance, you had just narrowly missed one of your wife’s regular visits.

Once you’re inside his apartment, you immediately scan your surroundings. There are papers and books scattered all over the floor. You can make out a thin trail of smoke coming from an unfinished cigarette in his living room, where the couch is covered by a tarpaulin smeared with ink and acrylic paint. 

On an easel beside it is a painting covered by a dirty towel you assume he’s been working on before being disrupted by your presence. “Can I look?” you point at it. 

“No. Sorry,” he says, before taking the painting from the easel and bringing it to his room. “It’s not done yet. An artist’s rule.”

You nod, and then noticing the only thing that he has organized, you say, “Nice vinyl collection.”

“Thanks.”

You stare at each other for long seconds. It feels ridiculous to expect an apology from him, but it’s something you think you deserved at the minimum. 

“So, tell me. How did you meet my wife?” you ask when it becomes apparent that he doesn’t have any intention to be an active participant in this meeting.

“Art History 101. I’m one of her–”

“Students.” You complete his sentence with a grimace. Somehow that just makes things more fucked up than they already are. Jesus fucking Christ, Wanda, you curse in thought. Yet in a twisted way, it also kind of makes sense now. What they have is the stuff of sexual fantasies–a goddamned kink show is what it is. You’d never guess she’s capable of this. 

“Yeah, and she was really knowledgeable in the subject. Not to mention, a natural teacher. Everybody in the class was awestruck by her.” Vision continues to talk about Wanda as though he’s talking about her to a person who didn’t know her down to the ground. You don’t need to be told how spectacular your wife is. You knew better than anyone. How dare he?

“How’s it going?” You cut him off before he could accidentally trigger something fatal inside of you.

He looks at you, bewildered at the random question. He waits for the punchline that never comes, and then chuckles, “It’s been swell.” 

“This is where you meet?” you ask.

“Yes.”

“And she likes it?” You mean this place that looks like it’s been ransacked ten times over.

“Well, I guess. She never complained.” he says, and then cowers at the dirty look you throw his way at his callous comment.

“Do you stay in all the time or do you go out too?” you ask.

“It depends. We actually like to drive to new places in and out of town. Especially in the first week since she’s never ridden a convertible.”

“She likes that? She likes…aimless drives with no particular destinations?” 

“Oh, yeah. More exciting than being stuck in a routine, I guess.” 

It’s an obvious jab at a lifestyle he thinks you saddled Wanda with. 

Heat rises to your cheeks and you walk closer to him. “Did you know that we’ve been married for five years? And before then together for six?”

That you have a dog. Plans to have kids in the future. Plans to retire in a beachfront property. The rest of your lives together. Does all that mean nothing? 

“I know,” Vision replies, his tone devoid of any sign that he might be sorry for fucking a married woman. “She also told me you asked to move here because of your banking aspirations.”

“My aspirations? You…talk about me?” You manage to blurt out incredulously. Vision shrugs at that, and actually regards you with mild concern when you start blinking rapidly behind your glasses. You can hear your heart hammering in your chest as all the blood in your body suddenly rushes to your head. 

He doesn’t answer “Would you like a drink?” 

“Yeah, why not.” you say and lean against the closest wall to you for support.

“I have water, orange juice…”

“Got anything stronger?” 

“I think I have some vodka left.” Vision mutters and then disappears into the kitchen. You take his absence as an opportunity to sneak into his bedroom. It’s smaller than you’ve imagined. A huge mirror is hanging across the foot of the bed and you instantly know what it’s for. 

Is this where it all happens? Where they happen? Did they watch themselves fuck? Did Wanda watch herself fuck someone who isn’t you and felt guilty about it? 

Did she think about you at all?

You sit on the mattress and stroke its silky sheets with shaking fingers. The bed is unmade, and you know there’s evidence on them if you try to look for it.

A framed painting peeking out from his dresser takes your attention. You walk over to it and pull it out of its hiding. 

Your eyes go round in recognition. It’s the painting Wanda asked you to retrieve in Soho. You turn the painting over and discover a small piece of paper plastered on it.

‘To Vision, the only secret people keep is immortality.’  - W

You crumple the note tightly in your fist. Suddenly, all of it becomes more real than you can envisage: on a Tuesday morning, you’re perched on the exact spot your wife’s been betraying you over and over. You can almost smell Wanda from where you’re sitting–can feel her damp, soft skin, can hear her little sighs as she catches her breath.

You’re not prepared for the overwhelming rage that consumes you next, as you abruptly get up and walk the small distance to the kitchen.

-

You come to thirty seconds later, to broken pieces of porcelain and an unconscious man lying on a puddle of blood on the floor.

Your first instinct is to call Natasha. She picks up on the third ring.

“Hello?”

“Nat,” you say in a rush. “I need your help. I-I didn’t mean to–”

“Hey, hey. Slow down. What happened?” 

“I’m at Vision’s. I did a horrible thing a-and I’m so sorry, Nat, I–”

“Focus, Y/N,” Natasha’s voice is eerily collected. “Is he still alive?”

You scramble to place your index and middle finger on his neck, and let out a sigh of relief once you find what you’re looking for.

“I got a pulse. Should I call 911?”

“Don’t, I’ll handle this. Just grab a towel and wrap it around something cold like frozen vegetables or ice, then apply it gently to the area of the injury.” Natasha says. 

You squeeze your eyes shut for a moment to absorb the instruction. Getting a grasp of the situation has started to feel like an impossible task. 

“Did you hear what I say?”

“Yes.”

“Good,” Natasha says. “You’ll be fine, okay? I’m on my way.”

And then she’s gone. And you’re left to deal with the vestiges of your crime. You have no idea how much longer Vision will have a pulse. You try to do what Natasha told you to, but you find yourself unable to move a limb, stuck in the loop of wanting him dead and wanting to do what is right. 

That is, until you hear the familiar tone of a message notification. It came from the rear pocket of Vision’s bloodstained cargo pants. You fall to the floor and dig out his phone. To unlock it, you take his cold hand and press his thumb against its screen. 

There’s a new voice message from a certain ‘W’ in his contacts.

Wanda.

You hit play.

“I hate to do this here,” Wanda’s voice is tremulous and you can easily tell that she’s been crying. “But this is the only way I can trust myself to go through with this decision. This needs to end. I can’t live like this. I’m tired of lying and hurting Y/N. She’s my family. Whether you believe it or not, she’s everything to me. I’m sorry. And I hope,” Wanda’s voice breaks on a choked sob. “I don’t know what I hope. I’m sorry.”

You listen to it again before making the decision to delete the message. You slip the device back into Vision’s pants.

Afterwards, you try to save his life.

***

Five Days After 

You wake up with a start. The clock on the nightstand reads 4:34 A.M. 

The dreams are more vivid now, and they have progressed to you jabbing a kitchen knife into Wanda’s chest as Vision takes her from behind. 

In reality, Wanda is lying half-naked beside you, snoring softly. She looks like the Wanda from Before, but your mind knows better. You want to trace her outline with your eyes and your lips, as you’ve done countless times whenever you’d wake up first. You want to kiss her temple and whisper how you love her even if she can’t hear you. You want, and want, and want. But you know what she’s done and with what little dignity you have left, you don’t fall into the trap of your remaining feelings for her. 

In reality, her ex-lover is in some hospital in New York with his family waiting for him to wake up.

The first two days were the hardest after finding out about your wife’s infidelity. Wanda could read you like an open book, but for some miracle she didn’t see past the calm demeanor you put forth. You still comment nice things about her cooking, hug her goodbye, kiss her good night. 

And then the nightmare starts all over again the minute Wanda leaves the house. Because when she’s near you, you don’t have to wonder where she is or who she’s with. You don’t wonder if she notices the empty seat in her classroom that used to belong to Vision. You don’t wonder if there are another pair of eyes like his, looking at her intrepidly with desire. The longer you carry on with your life as if nothing’s happened, the more you realize how much of your existence the past several months were built on lies. 

Maybe the wife next to you is no longer yours, but how do you reconcile that with the truth that you’re still hers? 

“Y/N?” you hear Wanda speak as you get up from bed. “Where are you going?”

Wand hugs the comforter to her more securely. You want to scoff at her question.

“Going out for a run.” you say after a beat. 

“Want me to come with?”

“No, thanks. Just go back to sleep.”

“Oh,” Wanda glances briefly at the time and then says, “It’s still too dark outside.”

You shrug. “So?”

“Could be dangerous, don’t you think?” 

“It’s Westview,” you repeat the same thing she said to you the first night she came home late without calling. The night in which she probably fucked him for the first time. “What’s the worst that could happen to me?”

“Be careful.” she acquiesces softly. “Do you want anything for breakfast?”

“No.” you say, grabbing your running gear from the dresser. 

Sparky tries to follow after you but you lock him in the bedroom with Wanda, and head out to change in the guest bedroom. 

-

There’s a slight itch at the back of your throat and you’ve stopped sweating just a while ago. Nevertheless, your tired legs refuse to stop their strides as you reach your tenth mile, and end up in a deserted farmhouse where Natasha is waiting for you.

“He still hasn’t woken up,” Natasha announces, handing you a bottle of ice water. “And while I got rid of the paintings, we’re not out of the woods yet.”

You take a swig from it like someone who’s been left in the desert for days, before leaving just enough of the water to pour over your head.

“What do you mean?” you ask after you recover from your run. 

“His family is suspicious. They refuse to believe it’s an accident. You should expect cops to visit your house soon. Don’t panic. I scrubbed that kid’s apartment, they won’t find any traces of you.”

“How many years are we looking at?”

“It’s too early to worry about that. We don’t even know if he’ll ever wake up.”

“If he doesn’t, then I’m a murder, Nat.” you say candidly, like you’ve already accepted the monster that you now see yourself to be. “If he does wake up, then it’s attempted murder. Again, how many years are we looking at?”

“Even if he dies, you’re not going to prison. I promise you.”

“I don’t need you to promise me anything. Just answer the question, Nat.”

“Up to twenty years in the state of New Jersey.”

It figures. Despite it being more than half the amount of years you’ve been alive, you deem it a short punishment for the years you’d be taking from the boy. In twenty years or less, you’d be stepping out of prison to live out the rest of your life, and Vision would still be six feet under and being mourned by his parents. 

You look down at your dirty shoes, and say, “I see.”

Natasha puts her hands on your shoulders and ducks her head, trying to meet your eyes. 

“You’re not going to prison. I won’t allow it.” 

You step back and out of her hold. 

“Now, about that other thing. I already contacted this lawyer who owes me big time. You’ll just have to pay 30% of her regular rate for the entire divorce process.”

You look at your best friend, considering it. You could give Natasha the go signal now to hire this lawyer, but in the end all you say is, “Thanks, Nat. For everything.” as you turn your back on her.

Natasha’s brows snap together. “Where are you going?”

“Home.” The word leaves a bitter taste in your mouth, knowing that for so many years ‘home’ was a person you felt the safest, a person who you could be with as you are. Wanda didn’t just cheat on you, she left you homeless. Home, in every sense, no longer exists.

“On foot?” 

“Yup.”

“You’re being ridiculous. Just get in the car, I’ll drive you.” 

But you’re already bouncing on your feet and moving in the other direction.

***

The next day, you sleep on your alarm again. It’s the second consecutive week you’re calling in sick late in the morning, and your immediate supervisor at work is understandably worried. He offers you take the rest of the week off, partly fearful for anyone at your branch catching whatever illness he assumes you have. Ironically, broken marriages are arguably endemic in this country. So perhaps, you really should stay away from people for a while. 

The blinds were shut, so that as little light as possible dances through the gaps between them. You are encouraged to stay in bed by the lack of sunlight, but as your mind starts to wake up, something about the gloominess of the room urges you out of bed. It’s a Monday, so that means Wanda should be gone already. If you’re missing work, then you could make use of the time to think about your next course of action.

You’re halfway down the stairs when the sound of Wanda’s voice reaches your ears, making you stop in your tracks. 

“This will be our little secret, okay? Y/N can’t find out.”

You nearly miss a ladder in your step at the implication of her words, only to see she’s speaking to your dog. 

Wanda is sitting in the living room with Sparky who is thoroughly enjoying the morsel of cheese she’s feeding him with. If this was any other day before, you’d already be walking towards her to give her a morning kiss, and she’d complain that you didn’t brush your teeth long enough. You’d impishly lock her in your arms while you blow puffs of breath on her face, and she’d squirm and fight you off until the both of you are nothing but a blur of two idiots happy and in love. 

“Wanda,” you blink at her in confusion. “Aren’t you late for your morning class?”

You watch Wanda’s eyes light up before she could spot you at the foot of the staircase. 

“Hey, sleepyhead. Actually, I quit my job.” Wanda declares, wide-eyed, her green pools swimming in starry fervor that you almost squint.

“Since when?” 

“Since today.” Wanda shrugs, and you can see that she was hoping for a different reaction and not the mild indifference that she’s currently getting from you. 

“Why? Did something happen?” You ask as you pick up Sparky and bring him to the kitchen for a proper meal. You hate to see Wanda give up something she seemed so passionate about. But then you recall her recent affair with a student, and there’s really no telling where that passion was truly directed at. 

“Honestly, I’ve been meaning to for some time.” she muses while playing with her wedding ring. You leave a generous amount of boiled chicken in his food tray, before moving to sit on the opposite end of the couch, conscious to put much distance between you and Wanda.

“For a while it looked like I finally found a worthwhile career that isn’t so ambitious,” Wanda says. You glower at her allusion that her prior dreams were too extravagant to come true. “But in the process, I also lost myself to it. I sort of left you behind, while you always brought me to every milestone of your achievement. And for that, I wanted to apologize.”

It’s the closest thing to a willing confession you’ll ever get from Wanda. Her quitting her position at the university is her way of burying this and moving on. Maybe it would’ve been better if you simply waited for your marriage to fix itself instead of snooping around for her secrets. You wish you weren’t so addicted to the truth. If grace exists in this world, then it comes in the form of ignorance to all of the things that bring so much suffering. 

You’re thinking of something to say, but you’re afraid that the dam inside you will burst if you open your mouth. 

“I’m sorry it took a while for me to really comprehend how I feel about you.”

“We’ve been married for years, Wanda,” you remind her in disbelief. “That’s something you should’ve comprehended fully before you decided to say yes to a life with me.” 

“That’s not what I’m trying to say,” she hurries to explain. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to offend you. Please, Y/N, don’t get mad. Of course I know how I feel about you. I simply didn’t care to explore the magnitude of it, because I was complacent. And selfish.

“And when it comes down to it, you’re all that matters.” Wanda says and scoots closer to you. Then she takes your hand and kisses your knuckles. Your eyes close in their own accord, sighing at the contact. This might be the only thing that stops you from falling further apart. Even through the worst thing she's ever done to you, you crave to be this close to her. 

Wanda tries to read into your thoughts, and then says, “I know, I know. Acta non verba.”

“What?” you ask distractedly. 

“It’s what you always used to say back in college: deeds, not words. I’m going to show you. I’m going to make you feel how you make me feel.” she smiles at you tearily.

This isn’t how things are supposed to go. You’re to wait it out until the matter with Vision is resolved, and then serve her the divorce papers. She’s not supposed to declare her love for you and for those words to still have a substantial effect on you. 

“Wanda, I–” 

“Here,” Wanda retrieves a box from underneath the pillows and pushes them into your hands. “An advanced anniversary gift.” 

You try to stop your hands from shaking as you stare at the box in your lap. 

"Wanda, there's something we need to talk about."  

"Later, baby. Please, just open it." Wanda says and you try not to cringe at the pet name. 

You're about to pull the lid off when the doorbell rings and Sparky comes rushing to the door, yapping away. 

"I'll get it." You mumble and yank your hand from Wanda's grasp. The haze in your head instantly clears up the moment you’re no longer touching her. 

You open the door to two gentlemen in a dark suit. You remember Natasha’s warning yesterday, not really expecting them to show up this soon. 

"Wanda Maximoff?"

"No, I'm her wife, Y/N. Can I help you?"

The taller one with blonde hair makes the introduction with, "I'm Detective Rogers and this is Detective Barnes.”

You wipe your hands on your pajamas before shaking their hand and inviting them to come in.

“We're here to ask your wife a few questions about Victor Shade." Rogers says. 

You hesitantly glance back to Wanda who suddenly looks so stricken.

"They're here for you." you tell her. 

"Mrs. Maximoff, it’s a pleasure to meet you,” Rogers walks over to her and introduces himself and Barnes to her. 

He gets on straightaway with the questions. “Where were you last Tuesday afternoon?"

"I was at work, attending a departmental meeting. Did something happen? Is something wrong?"

The two men look at each other. Then the shorter one, Barnes, says, "Your former student, Mr. Shade was involved in a serious accident."

Wanda gawks at their news. "I–I was told he dropped out of school for reasons that were not disclosed to me and the class. I had no idea. My god, that's... That's terrible." 

“Yes, we’re aware. His family wanted the whole thing in the wraps in case it turned out to be more than just an accident.” Rogers explains with 

“Why would they–” Wanda tries to ask but Barnes interrupts her abruptly.

"Were you close?" he asks. 

He watches your wife as you do–closely, and observing every crease in her features that would give her away. But after months of lying, it's evident how she’s become so good at it. 

“Uh, no,” Wanda shakes her head and smiles through her absolute lie. A strange feeling creeps at you at having to see your wife display such confidence in front of authorities. “I’m afraid there’s nothing I can share apart from how he performed in my class.”

Rogers and Barnes exchange even-handed looks again. Barnes glances at you briefly, before nodding at his partner to continue.

“Here’s the thing, Ma’m,” Rogers takes out a small notebook from his pocket and flips through it. “We found your name and contact in Mr. Shade’s call history. There are dozens of back and forth calls between you and him. This is actually the reason why we wanted to get in touch with you, because you’re the only one aside from a classmate of his that he’s spoken to for the entire semester. We want to know if he ever confided in you or if you knew someone he might have had a disagreement or altercation with.” 

You can feel Barnes studying you again, but you refuse to meet his gaze, trying to keep your face as neutral as possible with just a tinge of curiosity. 

Wanda remains unfazed and says, “We do communicate over the phone. But again, it’s strictly about his studies.”

“What about his studies?”

“He was having a hard time with his final project. It can be any form of art–a sculpture, a painting or maybe even a video, and they need to emulate their deepest and darkest desires to it. H-He needed my input every now and then.” 

“Sounds quite a challenge,” Rogers mutters as he writes on his pad. “And have you seen his painting?”

“No. I highly discourage them from showing me their works in progress. Why?”

It’s Barnes who answers her this time. “There was no painting found in his apartment.”

“Oh, he must have kept it someplace else then.” Wanda says, more to herself. 

They don’t comment on that. 

“When did you see him last?” Rogers again.

“Monday of last week. He came in late to class. Anyway, it doesn’t matter.”

“May we ask why ‘it doesn’t matter’, Ma’m?”

“I no longer work at Westview Institute.”

“Really,” Rogers lifts an eyebrow, taken aback. “Since when?”

“This morning,” Wanda answers. “Personal reasons. You can talk to the dean for the details if you want.”

Rogers simply nods and scribbles on his pad some more.

“Have you ever been in his neighborhood? Ever been to his apartme–” He badgers on but you interrupt him. 

“I think that’s enough,” you say with authority. “I don’t see what other questions could be relevant to your investigation, but my wife’s told you everything she knows.” 

Barnes tries to protest but Rogers signals to him. 

“Very well. Thank you both for your time.” Rogers says as you usher him and Barnes to the door. 

“Wait!” Wanda yells, chest heaving. They both look over their shoulders, waiting. “Is he… is he okay?”

You catch the knowing smirk on Barnes, but it goes away as soon as Rogers warns him with a look. 

You weren’t expecting she’d ask about him despite their obvious suspicions on what kind of relationship they had. It hurts you in a way that you can’t even begin to describe.

“Last we’ve heard he’s stable. But I’m afraid he’s still in a coma. For all we know he might never wake up. But let’s hope for the best, shall we?” Rogers says, and then with a polite nod, leaves with Barnes in tow.

“I, uh, I forgot that I need to formally file a resignation letter.” Wanda says after you close the door behind them. She frantically grabs her purse, all the while avoiding your gaze. She’s not appropriately dressed to go outside, but you don’t point it out to her as you continue to act the part of the oblivious spouse.

***

Wanda returns home three hours later. A nostalgic smile finds its way to the corners of her mouth, when she spots the note you left for her on the fridge.

Went to the park with Sparky, it says. 

The post-it notes were a long-standing tradition. Sometimes you’d put one on her rearview mirror, something along the lines of “have a great day ahead, I love you” written, and Wanda would stick one on your lunchbox that said “don’t skip on the vegetables”. 

And while she blames herself for your recent aloofness, she was hoping to remediate it on your anniversary. She already booked plane tickets to Hawaii and made reservations at a 5-star hotel. Your boss and probably the entire staff of your branch already knows about it, when she filed a week of vacation leave on your behalf. And then she put all the documentation and details of the trip in the box she gave you this morning. 

She planned for everything, except the part where two cops showed up at her house to talk about Vision. Admittedly, he was another thing that was never a part of her plans. Wanda used to deride people who make mistakes, and when asked to explain, could only say ‘it just happened’. She’s heard it too many times in the past, mostly from her ex-boyfriends. 

It just happened. There’s no better way to put it should you ever find out what she did. She wasn’t lonely or unsatisfied or neglected. The only struggle she could think of about her marriage is thinking about what to have for dinner, because you neither complain nor you ever know what you’re in the mood for. 

In actual sense, her life was perfect. Because of you. Because you work for her happiness. The guilt eats at her everyday. But she knows what she’ll lose if she comes clean. And she can’t afford that. She’d rather confront her demons than risk losing you. She tells herself she can’t put you through this kind of pain.

Wanda pulls herself out of her thoughts. She needs to focus on you. She truly hopes Vision would make it, so he can go on to live his life and she’ll live hers with you. 

Wanda pads through the bathroom to run herself a bath. While waiting for the tub to fill, she pensively walks around the bedroom, noting how the room still smells of you. That’s when she  finds her gift on your work desk, next to your laptop. It’s still wrapped in a bow. Wanda frowns, wondering why you didn’t bother to open it. 

All of a sudden, your laptop makes a sound. Acting on impulse, Wanda unlocks your computer with your password–her birthday–and then opens your email account. 

There’s a new email from Natasha. The subject reads ‘in case you need them’.

An odd, overwhelming feeling consumes her, and without thinking, clicks on the email. 

Wanda waits for the message to load with its attachments and then–

She freezes and her stomach drops. 

***

About four pairs of couples attend your small dinner party that you have planned several weeks ago. Your boss, Scott Lang came with his wife and daughter all the way from New York just so he can, in his own words, ‘taste your wife’s famous Paprikash’. Wanda reminded you that you were hosting, and you had spent the rest of the day shopping for ingredients and red wine. She asked if you should cancel, but you figured an evening with seemingly elementary lives would do some good for the both of you. 

And you’re right. It’s not a nuisance as you thought it’d be when you were roped into it. In view of the recent episodes that no doubt defined the lowest point of your life, it feels nice to experience a little normalcy in your home. Your introverted nature makes you a disastrous host to these events, but Wanda is the opposite–she’s a natural at hospitality. She’d go around and entertain people, exchange gossip, and make them take shots. She’d dance in the middle of the room, with that devil-may-care attitude of hers, attracting people to her like moths to flame. But at the end of the night, she’d go home to you and sleep in your arms, because she’s yours. As you and Wanda grew older, you became a more exclusive sort of couple. But on rare occasions like this one, Wanda would put on the old party hat while you’d watch her be the best part of it.

The only problem right now is that Wanda went away. Physically, she’s in the receiving room with everyone, nodding and smiling at whatever warrants a nod and a smile, but you can tell that her mind is off somewhere faraway. 

“So, Y/N, what’s the first thing you wanna do in Maui aside from stuffing yourself with Poke bowls?” Scott asks. 

“I’m sorry?” You tilt your head at him.

“You know, the…” he starts doing what looks like a hula dance, but you shake her head, still not getting any of it. 

“Wait, what? Wanda hasn’t–” Scott looks at Wanda, in panic. “Oh, god, I didn’t mean to spoil it.”

Wanda’s been keeping to herself the entire night. And she’s been drinking a lot, the contents of her glass never quite reaching the bottom before it gets another refill.

“It’s fine, Scott.” Wanda says.

You look at Wanda expectantly, but she just studies her drink. Increasingly annoyed, Wanda downs the rest of her wine and then says, “I was planning to take us to Hawaii on our anniversary.”

“Oh, that’s… that’s pretty awesome.” you say.

Wanda huffs out a mirthless laugh, before standing up and telling everyone she’s going to take a nap.

“Good idea, dear. You’re looking puffy around the eyes.” Emma, another co-worker of yours that Wanda never really warmed up to, quips at her.

Wanda clenches her jaw tightly, but chooses not to engage.

You excuse yourself from the group and follow her out of the room. Wanda feels your presence behind her and spins to look at you for the first time tonight.

“I’m okay. Just go back to your friends.”

“They’re not my friends and you don’t look well.” you say.

“I just need a few minutes to myself,” Wanda offers you a smile, but it’s wobbly. “Please.”

You can’t deny her anything and you can’t stop caring about her. She heads to the stairs before you can utter another word. 

***

After Wanda sees the last of the pairs to the door, she finds you in the bedroom with all the lights off. She can only make out your silhouette–shoulders hunched and perfectly still, while you look out the window to watch the couple trade playful kisses before getting in their car and driving off into the distance. 

From your peripheral view, you watch Wanda approach you slowly, cautiously, like a hunter stalking its prey. It’s easy to guess that she already knows. She has her arms wrapped around herself as a defensive stance, probably afraid of what you might do to her. You nearly let out a laugh at the absurdity of it, because you don’t think you could ever hurt her the way she’s hurt you.

“What happened, Y/N?” she asks as she stops a few feet from where you’re standing. 

“What did you do? Did you cause his ‘accident’?” she carries on with the questions despite your refusal to even acknowledge her existence. 

“Y/N?” Her voice is frantic and presumptuously privileged. 

You don’t owe her anything. Especially answers. Anger burns in your chest like a candle–fragile but with the potential to burn an entire field. You imagined the many ways she’d beg you when you discover each other’s skeletons in the closet. You imagined she’d be on her knees, clinging at your ankles, insisting she loves you and that it will never, ever happen again. You imagined you’d kiss her for one last time, right before you’d tell her that you’re done. 

You hate yourself for allowing her to beat you to a confrontation. For coasting through this mess until Wanda takes the mantle of the interrogator herself. She gets to nag you with questions as if after weighing each other’s transgression, yours turned out to be worse than her cheating. 

“Did you hurt him? You did, didn’t you? Jesus, Y/N. Talk to me,” Wanda pleads, and then out of desperation she screams, “Tell me what you did!”

“No. You tell me what you did.” you whisper menacingly, finally letting go of the restraints you placed yourself in for her sake.

You abruptly turn on your heel in her direction, and then stalk towards her in quick, menacing strides. Wanda cowers, but doesn’t yield. She stands her ground like the courageous heroine of her own movie. 

“How you fucked him over and over and over! How you lied to me…” Your chin begins to tremble and your vision begins to blur. “...over and over and over.” 

“Y/N, please–” 

“Don’t. You don’t get to talk to me now.” 

Wanda bites the inside of her cheek, the weight of her sin materializing in the form of your bared teeth and the vein pulsing in your neck and temple. 

“You didn’t think I’d know? I wouldn’t feel it? I knew from the very first night. Because I know you, Wanda. Every thought. Every look. Every fiber of your being. I know you and I fucking hate you!” You hear yourself yell, as real as the wetness you feel running down your cheeks. 

“I didn’t want to hurt him, I wanted to hurt you!” 

“Oh my god,” Wanda sobs out in anguish, cupping a hand around her mouth. “Y/N…”

There was a time, from long before you were married to her, when loving her broke your heart more than it made it whole. You didn’t think it’d happen again, but even if it did, you thought you’d find a way. You’d always find a way for Wanda.

You were happy together, weren’t you? Before this happened, she never gave any indication that she wasn’t. She made plans with you. Five-year, ten-year plans that meant she wanted to continue being with you. In return, you gave it everything you have and more. You turned the dreams into blueprints, and from blueprints into milestones. 

The arbitrary nature of her infidelity is what shocked you the most. It meant you couldn��t have done anything to prevent this. It wasn’t up to you. Love is a gamble and you’ve lost.

You’re both on the floor now. You, leaning against the side of the bed, and Wanda, hugging her knees to her chest as sobs continue to rack her body. 

When both of you can breathe again, it’s Wanda who breaks the silence. 

“I’m so sorry.” 

As much as you need to hear it, an apology now is just a drop in the ocean. Wanda can’t unfuck Vision. You can’t un-crack his skull. 

A thought suddenly occurs in your muddled brain.

“Was there anyone else aside from him?” you ask.

“No.”

“He must be really special then.”

She shakes her head furiously, denying it.

Against your better judgment, you ask the one thing that’s been plaguing you since you learned of her lover’s name. “Do you love him?”

“No,” Wanda mumbles without a second thought. “I thought I did, but no.” 

She didn’t love him. But it still kills you to know that it definitely crossed her mind that she might’ve felt something for someone else.

“Did you…” You stare intently at the ceiling, willing gravity to pull back the tears threatening to fall from your eyes. “...ever love me?”

“I love you,” Wanda says, her voice low and trembling, though she dares to look you in the eye. “I know how fucked up that sounds to you right now. But I do, I love you, Y/N.”

“You know,” You wince at the way your voice falters. You’re so tired and dehydrated, and your head is starting to hurt. Your lips quirk up in a bitter half-smile. “You have such a lovely way of showing it.” 

Wanda lets her legs slide straight in front of her as she openly weeps into her hands. Under different circumstances you’d be out the door right this second, getting all her favorite snacks and a bouquet of flowers. You have loved her for so long. 

“You should’ve just killed me. I don’t see any difference. At least there’s no pain in being dead.” you say after some time.

“Baby, don’t say that.” Wanda hiccups, struggling to control the spasms in her chest. 

“You don’t get to call me that anymore. Even hearing you say my name makes me sick.”

Wanda looks away, like she’s been slapped.

“You can stay,” you say, and Wanda looks up at you with hope. “In this house. For as long as you want. But I’m leaving.”

“No. Don’t leave.”

But you’re already pulling your wedding ring off your finger even as she rushes to kiss you roughly. Wanda pours everything in this one kiss. She has played all the cards she’s dealt with, and this is her final, desperate move. 

As for you, you take it for what it is: a goodbye. It’s messy and salty, and everything anyone could ever hope for in a last kiss. When it’s over, Wanda ducks her head under your chin. She finds purchase in the area just above your heart, trying to commit to memory the rhythm of your heartbeat. 

You don’t have it in you to push her away, but you take the hand of hers that’s still cupping your face, and put the cold metal that once symbolized your commitment to her, in her fevered palm. And then very gently, you force her fingers to close around it. Albeit the numbness in your legs, you manage to push yourself up into a standing position and out of Wanda’s grasp. 

“This isn’t over. It can’t be over.” you hear Wanda speak, but you’re not sure if it’s to you or to herself. 

Out in the hallway, you examine the finger where your wedding ring had been. It’s going to take some time before its mark on your skin completely fades away.

***

A Week Later

“He’s awake.” 

Natasha sits across from you in the diner. She’s back in town to pick you up and drive you back to her condo in Manhattan, where you will be staying for a while until you find your own place. 

You swallow and take a breath, poking at your scrambled eggs. 

She’s wary of you–this zombie-esque version of you. And it’s not only apparent in your behavior, the gauntness of your cheek is more noticeable, and your clavicle more protruded. You look like you’ve aged ten years overnight in as little as two weeks. 

“He doesn’t remember anything.” she adds and this gets your attention.

“How convenient.” you say.

“Look, Y/N. You don’t need to act tough around me. Because I can see right through every mask you have on. You want me to prove it? Let me prove it.”

“Nat, just–”

“You’re more relieved to know that he’s woken up, than him not remembering anything. You’re compassionate to a fault. There can’t be a purer soul than yours.”

Your best friend’s impassioned speech puts a small but genuine smile on your face. Natasha does a little victory dance with imaginary pompoms, and the laughter comes easily to you. 

“I know I have no right to say this, nor do I really understand what you’re feeling right now. But, Y/N, someone will come along and take every broken piece of you back together. They will love you so hard, you’re gonna have to actually beg them to ease off.”

You humor her. “You think so?”

“I know so.”

In all honesty, it’s hard to think about the far-off future without the stinging reminder that Wanda is not in it. But as you sit idly in diner for a very late brunch–and might as well call it lunch–you realize that you’re not left entirely empty-handed. You have Natasha. You have the rest of your friends back in New York, although you haven’t talked to them much lately. You have your career that is getting a fresh start at a new company. Wanda has gotten custody of Sparky. As much as you love him, you have a feeling that she needs him more than you do. 

The point is, you’ve already seen the bottom of the sea, and it’s time to break the surface.

“As much as I hate your wife…soon-to-be ex-wife… or whatever,” Natasha shoots daggers at someone behind you. “She’s here to talk to you.” 

“Did she put you up to this?” you ask, pinching the bridge of your nose. 

“She called me to collect a favor, and this is the best bargain we managed. She’s not going to contact me anymore after this.” Natasha says, and then she gets up from her seat and takes her plate of bacon and eggs to enjoy at another table. 

You hear tentative footsteps approach the booth and brace yourself to face Wanda. 

Much to your chagrin, she looks as immaculate as ever in her parka over a simple white v-neck and high-waisted jeans, her glossy red hair cascading in perfect waves past her chest. 

“Hey,” she says and slides into the booth with you.

You take a huge bite of your Reuben sandwich. “Hi, Wanda.” 

“Sorry for cornering you like this. You rarely return my calls and it’s been almost impossible to match our schedules.”

You concentrate on chewing your food, trying to appear perfectly disinterested in what she’s saying. 

“Natasha told me you’re already talking to divorce lawyers,” Wanda pauses to catch your eye, and you see no traces of sharpness in them. Her green eyes are bright with determination. “If you’re decided that it’s what you really want, then I’ll give it to you. I’ll cooperate.”

You look at her from beneath your dark lashes. “Okay.” 

Wanda swallows nervously and interlocks her fingers on top of the table. You can’t explain it, but your eyes automatically search for the wedding band in her left hand.

It’s still there. 

“I, uh, got something for you.” she says. 

“No, thanks.” you say.

“But it’s yours.” she argues softly, digging for something in her jacket. You watch her pull out a ring box and place it in front of you.

“What’s this?”

“Your wedding ring.” She says matter-of-factly. 

“I don’t want–” 

“I don’t care. I’m giving it back to you, and I’m keeping mine. You can do whatever you like with it. But I can’t keep it for you.”

You consider it momentarily, what she’s asking of you. In hindsight, it makes sense that she wouldn’t want to hold onto the residual love you have for her that the ring represents. 

“Fine.” You reach for the small box and Wanda heaves a sigh. 

“So, you have your ring back, and I’ll sign the divorce papers when they’re ready.” Wanda recites mechanically, her voice thinning towards the end of her sentence, as if she’s not at all prepared for what she needs to say to you next. 

“Then, I’ll come for you.”

You almost spit out your coffee. Some of it actually dribbles past your lips and you quickly grab a napkin to wipe your mouth. She tenderly smiles at your little accident, finding your clumsiness endearing. 

You gape at her, unable to think of a response.

“I didn’t want to believe you when you told me that night that you hated me. But I guess that’s better than indifference.” Wanda’s smile turns into a sad amusement at herself. 

“I don’t hate you, Wanda,” It’s the truth. Even though anger is the only emotion you can process most days, you’ve only ever hated the way she makes you feel. 

“You have no idea how much that means to me,” she laments. “Thank you.”

You can tell she has more to say and you wait. 

“I’m not going to give up on you, Y/N. On us. What we have, and I’ve thought a lot about it, is something I’ll never find in another.” Wanda says, giving you a long, level look. 

“I’m not telling you this to get a reaction out of you. I know you’re not exactly thrilled at the idea of me pursuing you, but,” she falters, the first sign of her vulnerability. “This time, I want you to know everything. I don’t want you to be blindsided by my intentions, so I’m giving you a heads-up.” 

“Wands,” The nickname rolls off your tongue before you can stop it. “You can’t torture yourself like this.” 

“I’m not,” she assures you. “I just refuse to give up on my dream.” 

You’re my dream, Wanda had written in her vows. You remember it, clear as day.

Wanda gets up to leave. “I’ll see you soon.” 

As soon as Wanda exits to her car, Natasha returns to the booth with a strawberry milkshake in hand. 

“Is it over?” she asks offhandedly, referring to your conversation with Wanda.

You hesitate, then look at her with an unreadable expression on your face. You give her the only answer that feels right to you:

“For now.”

#wanda maximoff x reader #wanda maximoff x vision #wanda maximoff imagine #wanda x you #wanda maximoff #ifiss #my writing #category: angst #natasha romanoff #marvel #elizabeth olsen

[viviennevermillion]

wide awake

notes: sorry i haven't posted any writing in a while, chapter 7 part 2 hit me like a burning truck full of chemicals racing at 200km/h towards an elementary school.

word count: 9,2k words

about this work: this was inspired by katy perry's "wide awake" as a contrast to malleus' humming of "once upon a dream." set during and after chapter 7. i don't know how this chapter is going to proceed so i'm going out on a limb here but yeah

synopsis: you woke up to the world crashing down on you, realizing what malleus had done. he had wanted you to be happy forever in a dream...when all along your dream had been him...will you ever forgive him?

contains: malleus draconia x (gn)fae!reader, angst to fluff, fighting and making up

warnings: angst. lots of angst. also chapter 7 spoilers. themes of loss

dark content creators & consumers dni

...thunder rumbling, castles crumbling; i am trying to hold on. god knows that i tried seeing the bright side; i'm not blind anymore....falling from cloud nine...

Falling in love with a crown prince had never been on your list of predictions for your school years at Night Raven College. If you were to be honest, you had been surprised that there were even other fairies attending the school. For most of your life, it had always just been you. The people came and passed you by and as the years went on; you’d gotten used to it. People came into your life and they never stayed for long. That didn’t make their bonds with you any less meaningful. In a way, they lived on through you. Through your memories and the stories you told of them to younger generations. And it always made you smile to see how people listened with awe about the ones you held dear in the past and learnt to love the same things about them as you did. 

With each bond you had, you grew and learnt and as long as you did, nothing was truly ever lost. The world around you changed as you helped it grow as best as you could while you stayed roughly the same. But Malleus Draconia had changed you. When he came into your life, you knew not soon after that your world wouldn’t be the same again. 

You remembered the day you had met him for the first time. Not long after the entrance ceremony, you had used the lively dinner party held to welcome the new students, to slip away and explore the area on your own; running into the dorm leader of Diasomnia in the process. You almost chuckled at the memory. You had worried about getting in trouble on your first night at Night Raven College; being caught outside past curfew by a dorm leader. But you soon came to realize that Malleus wasn’t supposed to be there either and that your new acquaintance had a habit of sneaking out without his retainers as well. 

You remembered how odd Malleus had appeared to you that night. Unlike everyone else, he wasn’t wearing his ceremonial robes and he didn’t even seem to know that the ceremony was today even though he was a dorm leader. Fireflies were dancing around him and he seemed pleased that you were ready to strike up conversation with him but equally as troubled, for he feared you might not keep his late night strolls around the campus and to the village at the foot of the hill to yourself. You had chuckled.

“Alright, here’s the deal”, you smirked at him, “I’ll keep your little secret to myself…if you take me with you. Maybe you could show me around…I think that could be fun.”

He had looked shocked back then but knowing him as well as you did now, you could imagine just how bewildered he was that you had just met him and were ready to hang out with him just like that.

“Very well then”, he laughed with a cheerful expression on his face, mumbling something about how you knew no fear. You did now. 

“So, is this a habit of yours too?”, he had asked, eager to get to know you. 

“They haven’t built a place that can contain me yet”, you had joked, which made Malleus laugh once more. Slowly but steady you had brought fresh wind into his life. For a fae, you didn’t seem like time had left you behind. Rather than that, you were always in motion, changing and growing along with the world. In a way, that made him envy you as much as he did admire you. Through it all, watching you, Malleus felt like a mountain carved into the landscape of the world; strong and unwavering but looking down from his pedestal at the lively ways of the humans and feeling unnoticed and uninvited. Where he seemed to hardly notice the passage of time on some days and dreaded the inevitable that was waiting for him in the future, you seemed grateful for every day; finding wonder in all that was fleeting, carrying it with you as a treasure that was yours to keep even when it had long left this world. 

He almost couldn’t believe his luck when you joined his club and kept inviting him to spend time with you. Malleus hardly ever declined. He grew enamored with you; accepted you into his life and always hoped that maybe you’d choose to stay. And you learnt to love him. You loved how eager he seemed to learn about anything new you could show him about the world and how surprised he looked when he was met with something unexpected. You loved his smile and you wanted to be there to share his happiest moments with him. You loved the way he pouted whenever Lilia dared to unpack the embarrassing childhood stories about him. 

As time went on, it became undeniable that your bond was something special; as if fate had brought you together for each of you to have a companion at long last. Someone who would stay when all else faded. Days were just a little bit brighter with the prospect of seeing Malleus. You heard Lilia joke once about the way his eyes lit up when he saw you for the first time after a long school day, hoping you’d ask him to take a walk with you or show him a new board game or one of those movies he was so unfamiliar with. You went to festivals and cinemas; listened to each other’s favorite songs and read each other’s favorite books. Which in Malleus’ case happened to be a lullaby from Briar Valley he played for you on the violin and an antique book titled “Gargoyles and their mystical origins”.

You remembered the melancholic sound of the violin, remembered how you marveled at his mastery of the instrument. You knew now the sad songs he played were a testimony to his ever-present loneliness; to all the unchanging years inside his castle and the dreams he longed to make into a reality but never could. Even as thorns had clouded your view and the last thing you heard was the quiet humming of the man you loved but didn’t recognize…you remembered the songs he played for you once and how he had smiled when you complimented how beautiful it was and encouraged him to show you another melody from his homeland. You remembered the way he had shared his world with you in an attempt to give you something back for all the new experience you introduced him to and you wondered how things had spiraled this far out of control. Where did we go wrong?

In your eyes, Malleus Draconia became someone who wore his heart on his sleeve. You could see how he felt in the thunder outside or the snow falling to the ground; but just as well in his eyes, as much as he tried to hide it. You learnt about his passions; what he treasured in this life and the dreams he didn’t dare voice out loud. With time, they became all too familiar to you. 

So it came as no surprise to step outside after the internship orientation meeting and find soft but cold snowflakes resting on your skin. You sighed as you remembered the way Lilia had announced his departure from this school to everyone and how, contrary to your expectation when you heard the news, Malleus had just as much not seen it coming as everyone else did. 

He heard the soft knock on the door of his room and knew it was you. “Come in”, he called out, quieter than he usually did. You did as he told you, closing the door behind you and sitting beside him on the bed. There was an emptiness and hopelessness in his eyes that you had never seen before. He took a deep breath once in a while, as if he wanted to say something but couldn’t find the words. Like he was lost and all the years he spent alone and isolated left him unable to find his path forward. Malleus was staring at nothing in particular as the snowflakes continued to fall outside. He was caught up in his own world, and if he hadn’t called you in; you would have been unsure if he was even aware of your presence at this moment.

“So…”, you sighed and tried to find the right words but just as well being at a loss at how anything you could do or say could make him feel better right now, “you don’t seem to be doing too well…want to talk about it?” As a fae yourself, you knew the signs. An exponential loss of magic, weakening speed…Lilia’s time on this earth was nearing its end. You were sure that deep down Malleus knew too; even though you could just as well imagine he was denying it in this current moment; arguing with himself that since Lilia had said nothing specific, maybe he really just meant something else than what the prince had understood. He lifted his head slightly and his eyes met yours. In that moment he looked like a frightened child but when he spoke he retained his usual calm demeanor. “I’m just a little surprised, is all”, he sighed and attempted to smile at you, “have you picked an internship yet? During all this commotion, I almost forgot to ask you.”

You shook your head. “I have a few ideas but nothing specific yet”, you mused and leaned your back against one of the bed posts, crossing your legs as you reached for one of the pillows to make yourself more comfortable, “it’s more like I have some skills I want to work on but no specific profession I want to apply to. So I’ll carefully consider my options.” Ever since you met him, Malleus Draconia shook your world and brought it to a different path. You had gone from place to place, working different jobs and meeting all sorts of different people and you had been certain that after your time at Night Raven College was over, that was what you’d continue to do. But now? Now you weren’t so sure. A quiet voice inside you had always raised the idea that maybe you could stay with him. Leave behind the human world you’ve lived in for all your life and become acquainted with your own kind again. A part of his country. Maybe a part of his family.

You were unsure whether Malleus felt even remotely the same as you. Loving Malleus was an all or nothing affair. There was no trial period; no going on dates and being together for a while and splitting up if it didn’t work out. A lot depended on Malleus’ public appearance and to say that him getting into a relationship with anyone would be a big deal was more than an understatement. If you were ready to take a step into that direction, you had to be ready for all the strings attached to the man you loved. A legacy, a crown and a country to take care of. A responsibility to keep peace and ensure that your people could lead comfortable lives. 

Confessing to Malleus would be a big step and you didn’t know if you ever would. You weren’t sure if you were adequate to rule a country; yet it wasn’t necessarily something you were opposed to. 

Leadership, public relations, bureaucracy…those were what you intended to focus on. All things that were important for a ruler. So that, if after centuries of walking among the mortal folk, you decided to put all cards on the table and spend your life by Malleus’ side, you could at least be sure that you were up to the challenge. That was a precondition for you to feel confident about approaching him with your feelings. You didn’t want to risk backing out and breaking his heart. Or being rejected by his people. And even if things didn’t work out, you could still use these skills on your path forward. 

The time at school you had spent with him so far seemed way too short to determine whether you wanted to spend the rest of your days with Malleus, as much as you did love him. And now the year was slowly but surely nearing its end. So you had another idea. 

“Do you have anything picked out yet?”, you asked the man you loved and the one you had grown to consider your best friend. Malleus shook his head as well. “I’m not sure what I’m supposed to learn in just 3 months…even 9 seems really short to me”, he sighed and clutched the list with the possible internship locations. You pulled out the map where all of them had been marked. 

“Well, given that we both don’t know yet what we want to do…why don’t we do something together?”, you suggested quietly and spread the map out on the bed, pointing at a couple of locations, “of course we don’t have to do exactly the same thing, but there’s a couple of cities here where the internship possibilities are basically just piling up…maybe we could just decide on a location and then…I don’t know…live there for a while?”

Malleus already had the surprised expression you were so used to on his face, but you continued. “We could get an apartment and explore the place together…there’s a bunch of spots on the map I haven’t been to either…and I could show you one of those human amusement parks you thought were fake when you saw a picture for the first time”, you chuckled and raised your pointer finger, “oh, I know! Or a mall! We’ll get the biggest ice cream cup they have and then regret all of our life choices. And take an escalator. You’ve never been on an escalator right-”

Your words got cut off by the surprise of Malleus’ embrace. It wasn’t the first time you two had held each other, but from the way he was clinging onto you, you could tell he was more distressed by today’s events than he let on. He let out a sigh of relief as you wrapped your arms around him gently and ran your fingers through his hair in a comforting motion. “That sounds wonderful”, he whispered and you rested your head on his shoulder as you closed your eyes and smiled. 

Malleus held onto you like you were his lifeline right now. That just as he was confronted with the inevitable loss of people he held dear, you had offered to stay around a little longer and had shared your ideas with him as if they were something you had been looking forward to presenting to him for a while. A new beginning. He thought about how you’d laugh at his surprise upon discovering all these modern human things you mentioned and how you’d be there waiting for him at the end of a work day, asking him what the two of you should get for dinner. He couldn’t help but smile at the thought. He was looking forward to taking an escalator for the first time. And trying some unusual ice cream flavors with you. Or being on a train. He knew you’d find so much joy in his curiosity and surprise and Lilia would want to hear all about your mundane adventures together-

Oh…right…

Malleus’ smile faded from his face instantly when he remembered. Although hope for the future and dreams of happiness had filled his mind not a second ago, the image of bliss had now been distorted into a world without Lilia. Without him nudging the young dragon fae playfully when he announced that he was off to spend some time with you; teasing him about when he was going to confess his love to you already. Without the horrible food on the dinner table that Malleus wished wasn’t there but that simultaneously Diasomnia just wouldn’t be the same without. Without anyone to guide him when he didn’t understand something. A world where he was on his own, unsteady where you were so self-assured and down-to-earth. A world where he was expected to lead when there were days where he felt like he could hardly stand without his guardian. 

Malleus was staring at the hands he had folded in his lap. “How do you do it?”, he asked, not daring to look into your eyes as he tried to keep it together. “Do what?”, you asked, noticing the shift in his mood immediately. You took his hand in yours and squeezed it gently. "Letting go…”, Malleus mumbled, “moving on after…after they’re gone.” His voice got so quiet as he spoke those words that he wondered whether you had even heard them. You hesitated for a moment, still holding his hand tightly within your own.

“It’s certainly not easy”, you sighed, “it never was and it never will be. But the pain lessens with time.” Your gaze fell to the window as you watched the stars outside; glowing and burning in the distance millions of miles away. Malleus still seemed lost in thought. You remembered the first time you had lost someone who was there for a significant portion of your life. You looked at Malleus’ hopeless expression and knew his world must be shattering into a thousand pieces right now. 

“I like to think that we’re all on an endless journey”, you began again, still looking at the stars but you could see from the corner of your eyes that the fae prince lifted his head to look at you, “in the end, we’re all following a path that’s our own and meant only for us. And sometimes our paths cross with those of others. We meet them, sometimes because we chose to and other times under the most unexpected circumstances…and they walk with us for a little while. They share their journey with us; where they’ve been so far, where they’re hoping to go…”

Malleus seemed to think deeply about your words, now also gazing at the stars outside.

“We rest together, we overcome obstacles together…we love and learn because of each other”, you smiled as a shooting star crossed the night sky, “and one day our ways part. The ones we treasure move on to walk their own path once more and we watch them disappear on the horizon and they never look back. And we have to continue on our path as well. I believe it’s because there’s somewhere else we need to be and that wherever those we’ve parted from are now…they’re all cheering for us to get there. And who knows…maybe we will meet again one day.”

Malleus smiled at you from the side, admiring your outlook on this world. How you could be so full of hope even in the most dire of circumstances…even when faced with loss and death. He knew you hadn’t always been this way. That you too had faced the hardships of learning how to live with your long lifespan and carrying on relentlessly, knowing that at the end of the day you’d remain while all else faded and gave way to something new. You simply had more time to grow and adapt, despite being roughly the same age as him. “That’s a beautiful way of looking at it”, Malleus mused and his thumb brushed over your hand he held as the fearful words he didn’t dare say crossed his mind. That’s a strength I don’t think I have…

You didn’t feel too well, leaving him that night. He insisted he was going to be fine, hugged you one last time before you left his room. Maybe he needs to be alone right now, you thought, process everything that’s happened…and everything yet to come.

Maybe if you just hadn’t left him…maybe if you just tried a little harder…

No, you clenched your fist as the wind blew past your face and you gazed upon the thorn-covered island, this had nothing to do with you. This is his own fault.

That fateful day you had woken up in more ways than one. You had woken up from the sleeping curse Malleus had placed on the whole island; the blissful dream that seemed to suffocate you and shatter your heart into a million pieces. But you had also woken up from the dream you thought you were living. The love you thought you had and the happiness that once seemed all too familiar to you. Gone were the days of laughter and joy and you weren’t sure if they would ever return again for as long as Malleus was a part of your life. Maybe it was time to cut the thread spun by fate to lead you to each other.

You shook your head and tears ran down your cheek as your eyes were blinded by the sunrise. It was as if the sky was trying to comfort you, telling you not to cry as there would always be a path forward, with or without him. 

Even though the dream world created by the spell was gone, two worlds were still existing within your heart. The one before; the one where you were planning to spend your future with Malleus; the way you saw him and loved every little detail….and the way you saw him now. The world where he had overblotted and attempted to decide the course of your fate with his own hand. Where he believed a false dream; an endless loop of joyful moments, could ever make you as happy as the real world had done with him by your side. 

Even though the nightmare had ended, you still seemed to be living in it. You weren’t sure which one was the worse illusion, the dream he decided you and the other students should spend the next thousand years in or the one you lived in before he had disappointed you so much that all you had been able to do for the past two days was weep. The sense of betrayal you felt because of his actions was indescribable, even after all the yelling and explaining you did of your feelings you hadn’t grasped the full extent of it. How could he do this?

You knew how he had felt. You had seen his fear and his desperation; you understood how the only perspective he knew was his own and that at the time, living in a happy dream that would never end probably seemed the better option for himself as well, rather than facing the loss of Lilia, who had been there since he was born, and the knowledge that from now on, he’d only continue to lose more and more. But he dealt with it the wrong way and now he had to take responsibility for the consequences.

“Y/n, please…”, you remembered how he had knelt there in the aftermath of his destruction, gazing upon the shaking silhouettes of his classmates and the worried and confused eyes of his guards. It had started to rain and as he saw his reflection in the puddle left on the ground and looked up to meet the eyes of those who looked at him in a fear that had never been there before; the blissful dream he thought could bring him happiness had finally shattered and nothing remained but guilt. He was used to people avoiding him. To people being intimidated by him and not daring to get too close. But for the first time in his life he saw someone fear for their life around him; look at him like he was one wrong move away from ending it all. I’ve become a monster…

The rain poured down on Sage’s Isle but Malleus could hardly feel it as it hit his face and he wept. He was no stranger to crying. He vividly remembered how Lilia had told you about his many tantrums as a child with a smile on his face. But now, in the face of true despair, he wondered if there was any going forward from here on out. In a fruitless, impulsive attempt to preserve what he used to have, he had broken it so much that it seemed irreparable. He had never seen this expression on your face before. Like something inside you had broken. And never would he have wanted to be the cause of it. 

Malleus, at the time, had thought his “gift” would genuinely be something to make the people he’d grown to care about happy. It was simple; an almost too simple solution to a world that seemed so complicated that it threatened to drown him if he didn’t desperately cling onto all that was familiar; despite all of his power. I should have thought this through…, he clenched his fists as heavy sobs left his lips, I should have asked them what they wanted. This isn’t what they wanted.

In the end, the way he tried to avoid losing the ones he loved had only made him more lonely. It brought nothing but suffering. He was alone; destined to die eventually with no one to stop his overblot. And his loved ones were doomed to sleep a thousand years; robbed of the opportunity to grow as the world kept changing around them. Living in an illusion that was happy but ultimately meaningless.

And now he’d lose them regardless. He broke the bonds he had and now he was left with nothing. 

“Please…don’t go”, he whispered through sobs as your expression turned from one of sadness to anger. 

“Do you have any idea what you’ve done, Malleus?!”, you seemed furious but tried to speak as calmly as possible right now, “you can’t keep people around by putting them into an endless stasis! You could have killed everyone here and yourself! What the fuck has gotten into you?”

Your words were the only sound except for the rain. No one else dared to utter a word. 

Malleus kept his head hanging and didn’t dare to look into your eyes as he replied. “I am so sorry…”

You let out a bitter laugh. “‘I’m sorry’ doesn’t cut it Malleus”, you spat out, “you’re supposed to rule a country one day and yet you have the impulse control of a rabid squirrel. You could have compromised the safety and well-being of your entire nation with this! I understand how you felt but the only way you know how to deal with your problems is through insane magical gimmicks and making that everyone else’s problem in the process. If that curse hadn’t been lifted, those people would have slept for a thousand years and the students would have never seen their families again! The loss you tried to prevent for yourself you pushed onto others. They would have woken up in a world completely unfamiliar to them. I would have never seen you again. You didn’t ask any of us what we wanted before you threw your damn tantrum and decided for us! You don’t want people to be scared of you? Well congratulations Malleus, but you messed that one up royally.”

Malleus' sobs got even louder. “I know…what I did was stupid”, he could hardly speak through the crying, “really, really stupid. I lost control…I couldn’t think. I was too upset and I did something unforgivable…and now i lost your friendship, haven’t I?”

You had no pity left for him at that moment. “Wow, what was your first clue?”, you responded sarcastically. 

Malleus looked at you with a pleading expression, basically begging you to stay at this point. “Is there anything I can do? Anything at all?”, he asked, “I want to make it up to everyone…I can’t undo my actions but I want to make it right for all the people I’ve hurt…so please…just give me a chance.” His voice cracked and you sighed. 

“You can’t undo what you’ve done and you can’t just make it right or earn yourself points and hoping if you’re just kind enough to people and do enough for them, they’ll forgive you eventually”, your voice was calmer now but it didn’t soften your harsh words, “some of them never will. Maybe not even I will. What’s done is done and I swear to god, please do not throw another grand magical tantrum to try and fix it. Face the mess you’ve made like the adult you are and deal with the consequences. The only thing you can do is move forward.”

You hesitated for a moment before you spoke again. 

“No matter how powerful you are, you can’t run from the rules of cause and effect. That’s just what life is like”, you crossed your arms in front of your chest, “sometimes we mess up majorly and there’s nothing we can do to fix it. It’s up to every single individual whether they forgive you or not. There’s no guaranteed way to atone. You can only be kinder to the world around you and hope it chooses to be kind to you in return.”

The two of you remained quiet for a while. Most of the students had used the opportunity to sneak away; to a place they presumed to be safe. Only Lilia, Silver and Sebek were still there. Malleus thought about your words. He knew in his heart that you were right. 

As silence filled the area around you, your anger about what he had done came back. You knew you probably should have just walked away and cooled off…left him to his own devices and never looked back. But you were too angry.

“You tried to play god for us and treated us like game characters or little shrimp in a terrarium rather than people you care about who make their own choices and live their lives in ways you will sometimes disagree with”, you gestured wildly, “it felt like you didn’t even see us as autonomous people but rather toys you can play with however you please. And that’s terrifying, Malleus. That’s something that, even despite your tendency to impulsively respond with magic to upsetting situations, I would have never expected from you and it broke the most important bond I had to another person in a long time…”

Tears were streaming down your face once more as you were reminded of the loneliness both of you were all too familiar with. That despite your unwavering determination and an optimistic outlook, nothing changed about the fact that you’d always end up alone sooner or later, living longer than most people you’d meet throughout your life. That had changed with Malleus. You finally had someone who could be around for the rest of your life and it felt like you had finally arrived somewhere you belonged. Finally found someone to walk the rest of your journey with you. And now he had kicked that dream in the guts and replaced it with his own delusional idea of a happily ever after. 

He had been your dream. Sharing your happiest and worst moments with him. Going through life together; staying by each other’s side for as long as you could.

“I wanted to stay. And you wouldn’t even have needed some dumb dream world for that. I’ve thought about moving to Briar Valley after graduation even though there’s no electricity and the books are 200 years old; all so I could stay with you. I would have trusted you with my life before this, Malleus”, your voice cracked, “right now I wouldn’t even trust you with an hour of my time.”

Your words stung and left him in shock. He knew you treasured him as a friend…but that you cared for him this much? He had no idea. He always thought his love for you was one-sided and now he had broken it, possibly beyond repair. He could have had someone who stayed by his side for the majority of his long life…he could have had that and he pushed you away. 

“Will this ever change?”, he asked quietly as you turned around and began walking away from him.

“Goodbye, Malleus.”

Your heart had hardened over the past few days. At first you had locked yourself in your room; living off dry bread and water; unmotivated to go outside. Professor Trein had even knocked on your door a couple of times to make sure you weren’t dead. When students passed by your room, they could only hear you crying from inside. 

Eventually the overwhelming sadness just died and left behind an empty void. The sun had risen and was breaking through the curtains. You could lay here for days to come and grieve the bond you seemed to have lost but nothing would stop another day. There was no point in wallowing in self-pity, you knew that. You needed to distract yourself; needed a sense of purpose.

So you went down to the village at the foot of the hill to help clean up the mess Malleus’ spell had left behind. The overwhelming amount of magic had made the technological devices on the island utterly useless and in some cases the thorns had destroyed entire houses. Fortunately no one had been seriously hurt physically but the locals were facing all sorts of problems right now. Communication with the mainland was completely shut down and people struggled to make themselves food with the shops closed up and their household appliances not working. Night Raven College and Royal Sword Academy had offered to provide the people with food and shelter, if they needed it, and it almost made you smile at how they had once again managed to turn this into a competition. Some things never change, huh?

Malleus strolled aimlessly around the island, unsure what the future held in store for him. He observed the village from the distance, watching from the shadows as the market place became busy again and the students complained about having to clear it of dozens of vines. He looked at you; at the forefront of it all, putting all your effort into restoring the town to its former idyllic image. He watched you hand out soup to the elderly and help the old mayor set up a fundraiser for the restoration of what Malleus’ spell and overblot had destroyed. He heard that you had suggested to Vil and Neige to hold a benefit concert in order to raise money for the locals. Malleus noticed the smile on his face as he became witness to the kindness you gave to others, one of the many reasons he had fallen in love with you in the first place. 

He remembered the words you spoke that day. “The only thing you can do is move forward.” He was proud to see you do just that and even if you may never forgive him, you had inspired him to do the same; regardless of whatever loss he may face in the future. Malleus saw how you gave a weak smile to a little girl who was crying about her favorite teddy bear that had been impaled by thorns and tried to comfort her, even if you hardly had any reason to smile yourself right now. He could tell that you were tired and still unsure, your emotions all over the place. Since when had he become so perceptive of that?

He heard you let out a genuine laugh as Professor Trein offered to fix the little girl’s teddy bear and she ran over to her parents in excitement to tell them about it. “No way, I had no idea you could sew”, Ace exclaimed with a shocked expression while looking at his teacher. Trein crossed his arms in front of his chest and sighed. “I wanted to make a scarf for my wife’s 32nd birthday years ago”, he replied awkwardly, “not my proudest work but it did make her laugh. So I kept doing it, and with time I improved.”

Once you had heard enough of Professor Trein’s stories about his wife, you moved on to another house to try and clear it of the thorns. You saw how everyone came together and supported each other, and although many Night Raven College students were definitely complaining about it, it still brought a small smile to your face. Malleus had broken your heart but there was so much out there still waiting for you even if your ways parted. So many people worth meeting and supporting with your presence, even if it may long outlast them. 

From the corner of your eye you could notice a boulder being lifted next to you. There was only one person around strong enough to just do that with bare hands. You looked up to see Prince Malleus Draconia in the flesh, removing the thorns he had caused and trying to fix the house they had destroyed with his own two hands. The two of you silently worked next to each other for a while, not daring to say a word. You observed Malleus quietly, hoping he wouldn’t notice your lingering gazes on him. You didn’t know whether you should hate the fact that his presence calmed you or that his helpless attempts at trying to fix this situation without magic almost made you laugh. But you eventually decided to raise your voice.

“You’re not going to use magic to just fix the whole town in a flash?”, you asked, raising an eyebrow at Malleus who in that moment poked his hand on a thorn and watched it bleeding helplessly before you reached for the first-aid kit and handed him some bandages and a pair of gloves. “My magic is still drained”, Malleus explained, “and the blot hasn’t fully disappeared yet. It’s better if I don’t use magic for now.”

He hesitated for a moment, looking down. “Besides…”, he sighed as he put the gloves on, “I don’t…really feel like using magic right now. Not after everything that happened.” You nodded and resumed your work. 

Malleus picked up another boulder and shoved it where it had fallen off the house. “You know that’s not how you build a house, right?”, you sighed and looked at him through half-lidded eyes. “Then how do I?”, he laid a finger to his chin and pondered on an alternative for a while. You pointed to the docks. “There’s a couple of construction workers over there whose job is to do exactly that. Why don’t you ask them and find out?”, you suggested and Malleus nodded.

He followed your advice and found that this was the longest conversation he ever had with someone who wasn’t a student. He learnt that one of the workers was really proud that his son had been accepted into Royal Sword Academy recently and that another one was married to a baker who made the most delicious sweets in town. Malleus mused that he’d have to check these out sometimes. All this time, these people had been living so close to his school and he had never thought about the lives they led and what things they were passionate about and what they wished for. They had been caught up in his spell and he didn’t even waste a second thought on them when he had cast it. On how much they could have lost because of it. He had cast them aside when he should have kept them safe and supported them.

Malleus looked at you and all that you had contributed to in such a short time. And then he looked at himself in shame and realized that you had been much more of a leader than he could hope to be. He had taken the opportunity to get away from the castle and explore the world outside of Briar Valley but he had always wondered what there was left for him to learn at this school. He chuckled at his past naivety. This was what Lilia had been trying to teach him all along, wasn’t it? That the world was so much bigger and more complicated than he ever would have expected and that Malleus had so, so much left to learn. He was hardly ready to be a king.

All the work had left you exhausted and you were glad once the day was over, looking over the island from a balcony at the school. The sun was setting and tinted the horizon in hues of red and orange. You leaned over the balustrade and noticed how the mess of thorns and debris was already looking a lot better than the day before. 

“You sure worked a lot, didn’t you?”, you heard a familiar voice behind you, “makes me wish I would have been able to contribute.” You turned around and your gaze met Lilias. You nodded. The two of you remained silent for a while, watching the sunset as it marked the end of your time together. “When are you leaving?”, you asked, knowing Malleus’ spell had already prolonged Lilias departure. “Tomorrow morning”, the older fae replied with a peaceful smile on his face, “you should come and see me off.” “I will”, you smiled back as a gust of wind blew past your face. 

You thought about the coming farewell and how Malleus would likely be there. Tomorrow would be hard for him, you knew that much…

“You love him, don’t you?”, Lilia asked as if being able to read your thoughts.

You crossed your arms, visibly flustered. “I-”, you pouted, “don’t ask me that right now.”

Lilia chuckled. “He loves you too, you know?”, he didn’t miss the surprise on your face as well as the fleeting smile he got out of you by telling you this. You sighed and raised your eyebrows at the former warrior. “You weren’t supposed to tell me this, were you?”, you knew Lilia had a habit of spilling the beans on the people he raised, even when they were very much not up for that. “Nope, khee hee”, Lilia confirmed your suspicions and you buried your head in your hands.

“I know you’re still mad”, he sighed and his gaze met yours, “but I can assure you Malleus has learnt from this. I can’t stop you from leaving if that’s what you decide to do, but I’m asking you to consider if your anger is really stronger than the bond the two of you have.”

“I don’t know”, you replied. “That’s okay. Take your time and think about it. No need to rush”, he smiled and put his hands to his hips, “so where are you headed now?” 

You thought about his question for a while. You had tried to grow and learn in order to make sure you could face the trials ahead if you were to confess to Malleus. You didn’t know at the time whether his grandmother or his people would even accept you or whether Malleus felt the same for you. But in your pursuit of security and growth you had found something even more valuable: a new sense of purpose. Regardless of whether you’d end up with or without Malleus by your side, the resolve and strength you had gained through the experiences you had with him were your own and they’d remain even if you were to part ways. You didn’t need to marry a prince and rule a country to put them to good use.

You gazed once more upon the island below the castle and the thorns that had been removed from the village squares. You pulled out your phone and noticed that the fundraiser had gone way beyond its original goal thanks to a donation by the Asim family. You smiled as you looked out towards the sunset. 

“I’m going to continue to support others. To improve what is around me and step up to take responsibility. Share my knowledge with others as the centuries pass by. Innovate. Hear people’s stories and follow them on their journey for a while”, you closed your eyes as a sense of determination but also a feeling of peace rushed over you.

“I know where I’m headed. Whichever path I’m on."

You looked back at Lilia who gave you an appreciative nod and a pat on the back. He smiled and seemed satisfied with your answer. “Malleus has a lot to learn from you, if you let him.” The older fae had disappeared when you looked up again.

When you entered the mirror chamber on the next day, Sebek, Silver and Malleus were already assembled there to say goodbye to Lilia. He had brought along all of his luggage and Sebek and Silver were already crying.

“Now, now, don’t get all teary-eyed about me”, Lilia said with a smile as a tear of his own ran down his cheek. He walked over to Sebek and took the first-year’s hands into his own. “Sebek”, he began, “do me a favor and don’t stay holed up in that narrow worldview you’ve grown to have. Make some friends. Let people in. There is so much more for you to see and experience. You’ve grown into a wonderful guard for Malleus but I also want you to find your own path and something you want to dedicate your time to without being focused on another person. I’m proud of how far you’ve come and I’m certain you’ll only grow more from here on out. I wish that you find patience and open your mind to the world around you. It was a pleasure to work alongside you and watch you become stronger.”

Sebek nodded and started sobbing, frantically trying to wipe his tears with the sleeve of his jacket.

“Silver”, Lilia pulled his son into his arms and held him tightly one last time, remembering how he had picked him up when he was just a baby, “you’re the best son a father could ask for. I am so proud of you and you’ve grown into a wonderful young man. I’m glad to call you my son. Don’t look back too much and continue moving forward. There is a great future ahead of you. Don’t worry about your old man too much. I’ll always be there rooting for you, even when you can’t see me. Take care, Silver.”

Lilia waited patiently until Silver was ready to let go. He held onto his father, wishing he could prolong the inevitable but knowing, after all that had happened, that it was time to let go.

And so did Malleus.

When Lilia stepped over to him, he took both of your hands into his and looked into Malleus’ eyes. “Malleus”, Lilia sighed and shook his head, “you caused me a lot of grey hairs with your actions those past few days…but I trust that you’ve learned your lesson and know what you have to do from here on out. All the advice I could give you, I think you’ve learnt the hard way with recent developments. I only hope that you find a way to live your life that makes you happy and feel content.” 

Lilia hugged Malleus and chuckled. “I still remember the time you had an eggshell on your face and couldn’t dress yourself like it was yesterday.” “Do we have to bring that up again?”, Malleus pouted but his expression softened when he heard you laugh beside him. Lilia looked at you. “Y/n, I know that you’re still angry and have a lot to sort out…but do you really think this grudge is something you’re going to hold for centuries?”, Lilia asked, “both of you will be faced with loss over and over again throughout your life. But the two of you will remain alive throughout the majority of it. You have each other. Don’t throw that away. Take care of each other and help each other grow. I know you care a lot…keep an eye on Malleus for me, alright?” 

Lilia chuckled as you linked your hand with Malleus’ and squeezed it gently. “He’s a handful”, you sighed and Malleus let out a laugh, pulling you into a hug with a relieved expression. “Don’t test me, Malleus Draconia”, you hissed but wrapped your arms around him as well, resting your head on his shoulder. Once you parted, Lilia smiled at Malleus. “The last few days have been…a lot”, he chuckled and Malleus sighed, “but I’m proud of you too. And I’m sure that you’ll be a great king one day. You have a long way to go, but you’ll get there. I’m certain of it.”

Tears ran down Malleus’ cheek as he bid Lilia farewell…one of the few people he had known since he was born.

As soon as Lilia had left through the dark mirror, Malleus broke down. It was raining outside again and he was sobbing along with Silver and Sebek. You had pulled him into your arms and let your embrace comfort him; your anger forgotten in light of the loss Malleus just faced and the overwhelming sadness that resulted from it. 

The days that followed were quiet, as if time had stopped. Malleus had needed some time to himself to grieve and you had given him the space he needed but offered your comfort when he wanted it as well. It took a while; the sun rose and set again over the horizon as the days went on, but you eventually heard a knock at your door. “Come in”, you called out and Malleus opened the door, walking into your room and closing the door behind him. He was quiet for a while, just sitting next to you and pondering what to say next. 

“Do you forgive me?”, he finally asked. 

You sighed and chuckled. “I can’t just reject an old man’s dying wish now, can I?”, you shook your head and took Malleus’ hand in yours, “besides…he was right. I’m not going to hold that grudge for centuries. So I might as well let you off the hook while you’re still within reach.”

Malleus’ expression turned to one of relief and he wrapped his arms around you, holding you tightly against his chest. Against all odds; against what he felt he deserved, you had given him another chance and chosen to stay. And he would make sure to not let it go to waste. He remembered how devastated and sad you had looked after his overblot. He never wanted to make you cry again. 

You looked up into his eyes. “But no more using magic on people without asking them first…or trying to solve personal problems with magic. You have to promise me that”, you told him, “you get one chance. And if you mess up, promise me you’ll let me go and move forward, okay?” Malleus nodded and he rested his head on top of yours. “I won’t disappoint you”, he promised and squeezed your hand. 

As all the boys who overblotted did, Malleus had started seeing a counselor to work through what had happened as well as through the loss of Lilia. You were still more distant than you used to be but with every passing day you warmed up to Malleus again. You could laugh again and join him for his club activities. You went to his favorite cafe with him after it had reopened; sharing a big cup of ice cream before heading to the beach to watch another sunset. One of many to come.

“How have you been holding up?”, he asked you with genuine concern in his voice as he sat down beside you in the sand. “I’ll pull through”, you sighed, “but sometimes I wonder if I’m still living in a dream and I’m going to wake up to the harsh reality any moment now…”

Malleus’ heart was aching, knowing he was the cause of those feelings. He had broken your trust and it would take a long time to fully restore it but he was ready, whatever it might take. Just no magic, he had promised you that.

“There’s a legend in Briar Valley”, he said with a smile while looking out into the sunset, “of a princess who was woken up from a sleeping curse by true love’s kiss. Lilia used to tell me about it all the time when I was a child. It was my favorite bedtime story. We even hold a festival based on it every year….I was never able to go thus far…but maybe we can go there together sometime…”

“If that’s your attempt at flirting, you have terrible timing, read the room Malleus”, you shook your head but he could tell from your smile that you weren’t serious, “so…are you going to kiss me or not?” Malleus chuckled and pulled you close, his lips finally meeting yours to promise you your happily ever after…as well as that was possible in such an imperfect world. But it was real and it meant so much, regardless of the trials and tribulations along the way. He understood now why a dream would have never made you as happy as he wanted to see you. He had to work for that and he swore to put in all the effort it would take for you to put the past behind you and be certain in the future you could have with him.

You kissed him back eagerly, pouring all your love but also the exhaustion the past days had left you with into the kiss. Tears ran down your cheek and you couldn’t even tell if they were yours or his. Malleus’ lips were soft and still tasted like the strawberry ice cream he had while at the cafe. He held you gently and kissed you over and over again, relieved that you were still here with him, even through all that had happened. He loved you so much and so unconditionally that he had no idea how he hadn’t realized it sooner. 

You had to push him away gently with a chuckle, as Malleus had just been leaning in for another taste of your lips and he probably would have been content just doing that for another three hours. “I still need to breathe, you know?”, you laughed and watched the waves meet the shore. Malleus leaned his head against yours and held your hand in his. The overblot and its aftermath seemed like a terrible nightmare to you now and Malleus’ kiss had woken you up to the dawn of a new day.

“I remember how you told me that those who leave us are off to another path different from our own”, he reminisced, “if that’s true, what do you think Lilia is doing right now?”

You chuckled. “Probably cooking something horrible.”

Malleus laughed through his tears but you could still see the pain that was written on his face. “I miss him”, he said quietly and let you hold him, clinging onto you for comfort. “I know”, you whispered, “I do too.” Malleus nuzzled your cheek before pressing a kiss to it. He looked into your eyes with a loving expression, grateful for every minute he could spent within your presence.

“Thank you for choosing to stay with me”, he squeezed your hand and a smile made its way to his face. For the first time in what felt like an eternity, he was looking forward to the future. “I love you”, he told you and cupped your cheek with his hand, watching you lean into his touch and softly kiss the palm of his hand.

You brushed his bangs out of his face and pressed a kiss to the markings on his forehead, noticing how the action made him visibly flustered. 

“I love you too, Malleus.”

#twisted wonderland #malleus draconia x you #malleus x reader #malleus draconia x reader #malleus draconia #twst #twst x reader #twisted wonderland x reader #twst malleus #twst chapter 7 spoilers #chapter 7 spoilers #twisted wonderland chapter 7

[targaryenmarvel]

Fallin' All In You (Part 5) - Wanda Maximoff x Reader

Summary: You’ve known Wanda Maximoff since you were children. She was the shy and exceptionally beautiful twin sister of your best friend, Pietro. For the most part, you two never interacted, but that changes when against your better judgment, you begin to develop feelings for the girl. 

Warnings: Only cursing for now

Note: It took me a while to finish this chapter, but here we are. This story was originally going to end in the last chapter, but I decided to extend it and add two more as I felt there was more to tell. If there are any requests, I can continue with the drabbles while I work on my next story. Anyways, enjoy!

Word count: 3,073

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5

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After your exhilarating day, you rested in bed, grinning at the ceiling like a love-sick fool. The day's events weighed heavy on your mind, the memories making you giddy with excitement and happiness.

You thought of the softness of Wanda's lips and her agile tongue against your own, fighting for dominance. She had ultimately won, rendering you into a whimpering mess in her arms. You had skipped a few steps, but neither of you was complaining. The date would come soon.

Although you shared sweet and tender moments, a question lay heavily over your heads. What were you going to do about Pietro? You had been prepared to confess your feelings for his sister to him earlier. Yet now you weren't so sure on how to proceed. Too entrapped in Wanda's kisses and embrace, you had forgotten to breach the subject. A problem for later, you thought as Wanda sent you a message.

Wanda: Can't wait for our date ❤︎

It wasn't until days later your dread came to a peak. You sat on Pietro's bed with the boy at your side. The both of you clicked away at your controllers, guiding the movement of the figures on the television screen. You were playing the latest FIFA game. Pietro masterfully passed the ball around while you lagged, distracted by your thoughts. 

Guilt racked through your body, forbearing your relationship with Wanda from your friend finally taking a toll. You were ready to proclaim your feelings, but Wanda seemed reluctant. You recalled your conversation with the girl from the day before.

You found yourself freshening up after another game. Your teammates were long gone, and you always seemed to be the last to leave. You were pulling on a clean shirt when you felt a presence behind you. 

"Almost done, Nat," you half-mindedly say, thinking it's Natasha there to scold you for lingering too long.

"Hey," a much sweeter voice called, causing you to turn hastily.

"Hey," you repeated, grinning at the girl.

"Your team was great."

You playfully scoffed, clutching your chest. "Wow, what about me? No compliment for me? Is this about my gigantic ego?"

Wanda chuckled, slowly walking closer like a predator to its prey. "I will admit I'm mildly impressed by the fact you've scored until now."

"Do I get a reward?" you ask as she's inches away from your face.

Wanda rested her hands on your chest, nose brushing against your own. "I don't know. What do you want?"

You couldn't resist any longer as you closed the distance, eagerly taking her lips in your own. Gentle hands pulled you closer by your shoulder as you rested your own on her waist. The kiss was slow, filled with pent-up mutual desire.

You were ready to deepen the kiss when Wanda's phone buzzed, startling you, and you broke away.

"Sorry," Wanda said, checking her phone. "It's Pietro wondering where I am. I should head back. You coming?" 

"Yeah," you answered, grabbing your bag as a frown adorned your features. Guilt had replaced the joy from moments ago. Wanda, of course, noticed your change in mood. 

"What's wrong?" You took your hand comfortingly.

"Nothing." She tilted her head, nonbelieving, and you felt your stomach flip. You sighed, resigned, "It's just Pietro. What are we going tell him?" 

Wanda froze like a deer caught in headlights, startled by your question. Although she, too, had thought of how to proceed with her brother, her thoughts on the subject were much different. 

While Wanda stood there tongue-tied, you took her reaction as doubt, prompting you to ask, "Do we tell him?"

"No!" she said too quickly, and you felt her comforting touch turn into scolding fire. You released her hand, and Wanda realized her mistake. "Y/N, no. It's not like that. I promise I want to tell him I do, but you two are best friends, and I would hate to mess up your relationship. I'm just asking for time."

"Time?"

"Yes, to ensure that what we have is real and will work."

You wanted to tell her you had never been more sure about anything. That you would face the world if she were by your side. Your lips kept sealed, locking away your declarations, scared by the feelings of devotion.

"What's wrong with you today? Pietro's voice pulled you back to Earth as he continued to attack your team without mercy. "You're distracted."

"It's nothing," you answered, flashing back to your conversation with Wanda. You understood her logic for waiting; you did. However, it didn't stop you from hating the idea of keeping Pietro oblivious. You felt like a traitor, a fake friend, for keeping your relationship a secret from him.

"Is it a girl?" he asked out of the blue, and you jolted in his direction, nearly dropping your controller.

You paled. "Wha—why would you think that?" 

"A guess." He shrugged with a grin. "By the look of it, I hit the jackpot. You're having girl troubles, huh? Tell me about her."

"It's complicated." He rolled his eyes and huffed at the lack of information. She wants to keep it a secret for now."

"Are you okay with that?" You nodded slowly with uncertainty. "That's not reassuring," Pietro commented.

You dropped flat on the bed, staring at the ceiling and contemplating your next word. "I think she's scared of what could happen if things ended badly. I get it and am willing to wait." 

"Alright then, I won't pry. Just know I'm here for you if you want to tell me about her," Pietro said knowingly but then smiled wickedly. "Hey, as long as it's not my sister, you do you. You paled, mortified by his words, and Pietro burst out laughing. "We'd be like divorced parents having to share custody of you. Spending one week with her and one with me. Not to mention, she'd probably turn you into a nerd like her."

At the sound of his words, the heavy sensation settling on your chest lessened until it nearly disappeared. It was all a joke, you thought, relieved.

Pietro threw down his controller on the bed. "I'm tired of kicking your ass. Let's do something else."

"What do you have in mind?" you asked, following him out of his room and casting a spare glance at Wanda's vacant room—the girl on an outing with her friends.

Pietro responded with a smirk, causing a surge of concern to well up within you. You knew you were in for a crazy night.

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You won't lie; planning a date was probably the most complicated task you have ever done. Your lack of romantic experience left you spiraling for ideas. After much research, you decided to take Wanda to the fair in a neighboring town. Food, games, prizes, a kiss at the top of the Ferris wheel. The perfect plan.

Putting your plan into action was even easier by Pietro's absence from the Maximoff residence. The boy had left for Crystal's for the day.

As you parked in front of the residence, the younger Maximoff crossed the front door and entered your vision. The sight hit you like a punch in the gut, leaving you breathless and tongue-tied. You approached the girl, wonderstruck by her godly figure, intensified by the encompassing sunlight.

"You look beautiful," you whispered reverently, pulling her waist towards you and disregarding any onlookers.

Wanda flushed at your compliment, hiding her scarlet face in your neck and denying you the warming sight. The only indication of her embarrassment is a muffled "Shut up."

You chuckled, drawing away. "Are you ready?" She nodded, and you pulled her to your car, ready to commence the 40-minute journey.

The two of you stood still, hands tied, taking in the various stalls. Farther up ahead lay the mechanical rides, though you wanted to leave those for later as Wanda pulled you toward a shooting game. Knowing full well that most games were rigged, you followed Wanda like a puppy to the different game stalls. You won a few minor prizes on some games, while Wanda's were usually better. The girl teased you, gloating at her skill in the games, and you playfully rolled your eyes.

You rebounded playing skee ball, a game you loved at the arcade. You started by positioning yourself into a balanced stance, one foot in front of the other and slightly bending your knees. You pulled your arm back and swung from the shoulder, aiming for the 40-point pocket. You watched the ball roll with anticipation, cursing when it flew the mark falling into the 10-point slot. 

Wanda attentively watched as you repositioned yourself for the next throw, heart fluttering at how you cutely scrunched your eyebrows wholly concentrated. 

You tested your throw, trying to get a feel for the ball, and then repeated your actions with adjustments to the toss. This time, the ball landed precisely on the mark. By the end of your nine throws, you had garnered 370 points. You smirked at an impressed Wanda before turning to choose your prize: a stuffed teddy bear you needed to carry with both arms.

"Oh, how cute. I wonder if you'll sleep cuddled with it," Wanda teased lightheartedly. You hummed, getting closer to her, heart beating frantically at her cuteness.

 "Actually, it's a gift for you," you said, offering the bear to her. Wanda stood there at a loss for words, glancing between you and the teddy bear. She mindlessly accepted the bear, gasping for words. Just like she hadn't been gifted flowers, neither had she been given such a gift. Butterflies fluttered in her stomach, enchanted by your thoughtful gestures.

"I-I thank you!" she responded, hugging the bear to her chest.

"I hope you think of me when you cuddle it at night," you half-joked, internally wishing she did. Wanda turned red, and it only intensified when you gripped her chin, placing a chaste kiss on her lips.

You did give her time to react as you eagerly pulled her to the bumper cars. The air echoed with screams of delight as you chased after each other. It's a game of tag of a sort, except with small, electrically powered cars. By the end of your little game, Wanda again rubbed her victory in your face. She was completely unaware that you had intentionally allowed her to win, finding joy in how her eyes would crinkle with happiness every time she emerged victorious.

After riding the carousel and indulging in a few other thrilling rides, the two of you made your way to the food court, famished after all the exhilaration. You both settled down at a weathered wooden picnic table, the sun filtering through the leaves of the trees overhead. Between you lay two cheeseburgers with fries and your respective drinks, a Coke and a pink lemonade. You gazed longingly at Wanda's refreshing pink lemonade, wishing you had ordered one. 

Of course, Wanda noticed your stare and pushed her drink towards you, offering without saying a word. You hesitated, unsure whether to drink from the straw or remove the lid. 

Wanda rolled her eyes, tentatively poking your lips with the straw. "Oh, come on. Don't act like you haven't had your tongue shoved down my throat."

You flushed at her bluntness, which became more frequent the longer you hung out together. You saw less and less of that shy girl who would stumble with her words or flee in your presence. The developing intimacy revealed a new Wanda that made you fall deeper.

You squirmed under her burning gaze but drank. It wasn't intentional the sensual way you wrapped your lips around the straw, keeping eye contact with her. You swear it wasn't, yet you could feel the air change around you, filling with tension as Wanda's attention shifted to your lips. 

You leaned back, bringing the drink away from your lips with a soft pop. As you did, you ran your tongue over your lips, removing the lemonade remnants and intentionally provoking Wanda.

Wanda's stomach turned, heat creeping out through her body, warming her fingers and toes as desire overtook her body.

The world seemed to stop, and reality faded into the background. All that mattered was the girl in front. As her gaze shifted back and forth between your lips and eyes, you found yourself doing the same, caught in a moment of shared anticipation.

The screams of a young boy, trashing around in his mother's hold, cut through the stare down before you could lean over. You looked around, embarrassed, wanting to see if anyone had noticed, and were relieved to see that no one paid you any mind. If they had, you helplessly hoped they thought you were in an intense staring competition.

Feeling safe from prying eyes, you finally reveled in the embarrassment, cringing at the thought of kissing the girl while leaning over the wooden table. Wanda fidgeted with her hands, suddenly very interested in the chipped wooden table. As you looked back at her, you could tell she was thinking the same thing. But then she met your eyes, mortification evident in her viridescent eyes.

The palpable awkwardness of the situation slowly dissipated, replaced by a shared moment of pure hilarity, as the corner of your mouth twitched, causing both of you to burst into uncontrollable laughter. Wanda took a fry, hitting you in the middle of your forehead. 

You gasped, falsely offended, as you rubbed your forehead. "Oh, it's on Maximoff," you declared, hurling your fry toward her. Wanda ungracefully swayed to the side, narrowly avoiding the thrown object as it lodged in her hair.

She delicately picked at the piece of food, eyes wide and mouth slightly open in surprise. Wanda then tilted her head to the side in a way that made your stomach flutter and said, "Bring it, L/N."

On ensued a food fight that earned you a few dirty looks from bypassers. It only stopped when Wanda took a handful of fries, breaking the unspoken rule of only throwing one fry at a time. You raised your arms and yelled, "Truce!" You slowly lowered one hand, and Wanda jerked her arm in response, observing you. Yet you only took the white napkin and flung it side to side. "I surender."

Wanda brought her hand down, placed the food back on her plate, and turned her lips upward in victory. The remainder of the meal was filled with cheerful and easygoing conversation.

After, you both settled on strolling through the farm zoo, wanting to give your stomachs a break from rides. You'd rather avoid hurling your meal, a hard lesson learned after riding zero gravity minutes after stuffing yourself with elephant ears. It wasn't fun.

Hand in hand, you and Wanda trekked to the various pens containing goats, sheep, pigs, bunnies, chickens, and more. You watched as Wanda adorably fawned over the bunnies, clinging to your arm and pointing at a black and white one.

As the sun set, you made your final rounds to some stalls and rides, even riding the mechanical bull at Wanda's insistence. Let's just say it ended with Wanda hunched in laughter and some blackmail material stored on her phone.

You saved the Ferris wheel for last, knowing night would only make it that more romantic. It seemed your luck couldn't get better, as the Ferris wheel stopped just as you reached its peak, towering over everything and everyone. The scene was nothing short of perfection. The full moon hung low in the sky, casting its gentle glow over the tranquil forest in the distance—a mesmerizing and enchanting picture.

"It's so beautiful," Wanda chimed.

"Yeah," you agreed, looking at her. As the silvery moonlight cascaded over her delicate features, it accentuated her innate, captivating beauty, adding a touch of ethereal allure to her presence.

You didn't feel ashamed when Wanda turned and caught you staring. The tension from earlier returned with a brutal force, knocking the air out of your lungs. The two of you leaned in, air crackling with anticipation. Your lips met in a slow, passionate kiss as warmth rushed through your bodies.

As the kiss intensified, you gently traced your tongue over Wanda's parted lips, silently requesting permission to deepen the kiss. It wasn't until your lungs ached for air that you stopped, gasping to catch your breath as you rested your forehead against hers.

"Thank you for making today wonderful," Wanda whispered, still breathless.

You gently stroked her cheek with your thumb. "I'm glad you enjoyed it."

The anticipation and nerves leading up to the date had been overwhelming. But now, as the day unfolded smoothly, you can't help but marvel at how everything had fallen into place. All your nerves seemed absurd after you kissed the girl at the top of the Ferris wheel. "Honestly, I was spiraling over today. I had no idea how to woo you or plan a date," you confessed.

"How to woo me?" Wanda chuckled. "Well, you've done a wonderful job of wooing me, so don't worry. I've never had such a great date." 

Given that her previous date had been with that jerk, Jarvis, there was no doubt in your mind about it. Yet you still questioned, "Not with Jarvis?"

Wanda flashed a smile and rolled her eyes. "No, definitely not with Jarvis." she replied."

"Good," you whispered, your fingers gently tugging at her neck to draw her closer to you. As your lips met, the kiss was tender and brief, filled with warmth and affection.

After the kiss ended, Wanda leaned in and rested her head gently on your shoulder. Gazing out at the scenery, a look of contentment washed over her face.

As the two of you dismounted from the ride, you instinctively reached for each other's hands and couldn't help but giggle with joy. It felt like the rest of the world faded away at that moment, leaving just the two of you in your bubble of happiness. For a second, at least, because in the next, it was ripped away like candy from a child.

"Wanda? Y/N?" The moment's tranquility was abruptly shattered by the unexpected call of a voice, jolting you out of your reverie and forcing you back into reality.

Dread filled your body, and next to you, Wanda tensed, crushing your hand. Yet you didn't pull away, too stunned by the sight before you. There, as shell-shocked as you stood, Pietro and Crystal.

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Taglist: @alexawynters

#wanda maximoff #wanda maximoff x reader #wanda maximoff x female reader #wanda x reader #wanda x you #targaryenmarvel fics

[keysorsomething]

Before the Sun Rises / Caught

1 | 2 | 3 | 5 | 6 | 7

The double feature chapters I wrote :) Just wanna say thanks to everyone who's supported these fics, it makes me very happy to see all the likes and reblogs !!

Cross-posted on ao3

Before the Sun Rises

You awake the next morning with no pressure on your chest and nothing in your arms. Still half-asleep, you look around the room. You’re disoriented, like when you take a three-hour nap in the middle of a weekday and wake up covered in sweat and unaware of the concept of time. One thing you catch is that the room is still dark, but you would guess that it’s always dark in here. You haven’t seen a window, after all. You start to rub the sleep from your eyes, fighting a yawn as you try to find the man who seems to have disappeared into the night. Melting into the darkness, as he had each time before.

“Nikto?” You ask, sitting up. Or at least you try, before strong hands meet your shoulders and shove you back into the pillow. You spot his blue eyes staring down at you almost ridiculing, clearly not pleased with your attempt to get out of bed. It’s almost startling, the speed and force with which you’re slammed back, not the hardest you had been slammed into something, but it was sure lacking any form of gentle grace you would expect from the motion. In this context at least. But you’re too tired to really think about the strength in him like you had before or to think about how he had seemingly teleported into your sight and personal space with no sign of where he was prior.

“Stay,” Nikto’s voice growls out. You look up at him, confused and groggy. He lowers himself back on the bed, and then back onto your chest. “I was not done,” He huffs, taking the sleeve of your shirt between two fingers. He pulls on the fabric, turning it over in his hand. His eyes narrow at it, as if your sleeve had offended him.

“Okay,” You mumble, letting your eyes fall back shut. You spend a while like that, enjoying it. Laying on your back with him on your chest, feeling the gentle pull of his hand as he busies himself with your shirt sleeve. It’s a moment of peace, expanded when he stops pulling at your sleeve - it was actually kind of annoying - and instead, his hand rests on your bicep, unmoving. He lets out a soft sigh, and you assume he closed his eyes too. Your breathing synchronizes, as your hand goes back to rubbing his shoulders like you had been doing the night before.

“You will come back tonight,” He states firmly, breaking the shared moment of silence. Your eyes shoot open and your hands pause, unsure how exactly to respond. You did want to come back again. Hell, you wanted to move in with him. You dare to even think you want the world to melt away, for time to be this moment and this moment alone, always and forever, but should you really let him boss you around like that? Should you just agree? Should you agree enthusiastically, with a ‘yes, sir!’? Or do you say no on principle?

“Can you ask nicely?” In a patronizing tone is what comes out of your mouth instead. Like a mom talking to a toddler who just demanded ice cream or something. You don’t have many references for modern-day parenting in the army. Maybe you shouldn’t compare those two things, that was kind of weird. But it wasn’t mansplaining patronizing - and you knew mansplaining, since that was the only thing that came out of Graves’ mouth - it was the other kind. You had no other words for it.

Nikto groans, presumably rolling his eyes, “You will please visit us again tonight,” He corrects, but he doesn’t seem all too happy about it. “пожалуйста?” He breaks out the big guns. How do you deny a masked man who’s speaking in his mother tongue? It may be your biggest weakness.

You sigh, conceding, “Okay. I will,” And he lets out a pleased rumble. A sound you could very much get used to.

“Now go back to sleep,” He huffs grumpily. “пожалуйста..?” You almost listen instantly, but then another thought pops into your head.

“What time is it?” You ask, the thought of being caught once more nagging at the very back of your psyche. He lets out another less-than-pleased huff of a breath at you, this time through his nose. But, hey, is he really blaming you for worrying about both your careers? His head shifts so his eyes meet yours better, and you see a small smudge of eye black left over from him watching it on his right eyelid, hugging the lash line. It almost looks like eyeliner. You also see the curve of his nose. That is skin that is clearly scarred, looking like it would be rough to touch. Healed burns, probably. Chemical burns that stretch over from the right of his face. You aren’t too sure how the mask is doing that, as all of the points where it attaches to the blast plate seem intact, and it’s only a small dip from where it normally sits. You decide not to comment on it, however.

“Early. Four-fifty or so,” He replies firmly. “I would not let you overstay your welcome,” His words are aggressive in phrasing but soft in tone. An odd combo he seems to use often, which you can’t be sure if that is just him or because he isn’t a native English speaker. But, his brows soften too, his hand sliding up but hesitating to make contact with your face or hair. It retreats away. When you look into his eyes, you feel like he wants nothing more than to touch you, and you feel he agrees that this moment is ever so precious. But he doesn’t want to touch you. Perhaps he’s afraid, or perhaps he doesn’t like his face being touched, so he won’t touch yours. The Golden Rule and all that. But you still smile softly down at him, gently rubbing his back. A silent encouragement to do as he pleases, one that is not listened too. After just a beat, you speak again. There’s no point in making the fleeting movement a whole ordeal.

“Well, wake me up when I have,” You tell him, trying to keep your voice low and comforting, the way he likes. He nods in response, eyes staring up at you warily. You both share for a moment the fear of being found out, but you don’t voice it to him. And he does not voice it back.

“Of course,” Nitko mumbles, sliding back into the position he was before your question. You chuckle, wrapping your arms tight around him as he matches the gesture, and lean your head into his. You take a deep breath, letting the whole moment sink into you. The warmth and weight of the man on your chest, the sound of his breathing, the feeling of the cold, hard blast plate against your cheek. It’s all the best thing to ever happen in this place, and you have a feeling it’s the best thing to have ever happened to him.

You sigh, it's nice to share this moment with him. Every moment over the past few days had been precious. You let your head fall back - you had been keeping it up to look at him - but keep your eyes on him as best you can. You still your hand on his back, letting your arm fall limp. He shifts his head slightly on your chest, fully committed to using you as a pillow. The image of him and his peacefully rising chest is wiped away by your eyes falling back shut.

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Caught

You reawaken to a soft patting of a gloved hand on your cheek. Your eyes open to Nikto just a few inches from his face, his hand gently twapping your cheek to wake you up. You groan, your muscles stretching as best you can under the weight.

“It is time you leave,” He mumbles, but you can see the disappointment in his eyes. “You do not have much time to get back to the barracks before the rest wake up.”

You pout, blinking up at him, “…How come you get a room all to yourself? It’s not fair,” You mumble, closing your eyes. His bed was so much more comfortable than your cot. And it was so much better than sleeping in a room with multiple other people. Just you and him. There’s a moment where you desire much more of this. So much more of this, in a much more domestic manner, but that fantasy is short-lived by a second round of pats on your cheek that don’t relent until your eyes open back up.

“It was a specific request,” Nikto replied, eyes narrowed on you as he tries to keep you from falling back asleep. As always, they are an icy blue that doesn’t match the feeling of having them on you at all. But by now they feel so much cooler than before, like a warm hug or a heated blanket instead of a hot iron. “I told them I would not take the job if they did not accommodate me.”

You nod, rubbing your eyes with a huff. That makes sense, you think. He seems like the guy to do that. Your eye opens now that your hand isn’t over it, and he hasn’t moved. Something a part of you deep inside is grateful for. You don’t know how well you could cope if he was gone just like that. Like how he had appeared earlier. That thought doesn’t last long, none of them do. He was just so much to think about. His eyes are wide, wild as they look down at you. He seems to think that you’re a lot to think about too. Or perhaps you’re assigning that to him, like when people speak for dogs and cats. You’ve been doing that with him a lot more often since that night in the armory. His eyes get a little less wide, and then even less wide. Until his eyes look closed, but you can tell they’re still partly open. God, he has pretty eyelashes.

He then, all at once, presses his still-masked face into yours. The fabric of the mask covering his mouth is rough against your lips. There’s no movement under it, almost as if he’s just smooshing his lips into yours like he isn’t sure how to do it. You feel the cold metal of the blast plate pushing into your forehead like a headache. It almost hurts, but there’s no way it’s enough. Somehow being too much and too little, but not just right. Your hand goes up to cup his cheek, but you don’t get the chance too. You didn’t even get the chance to close your eyes or lean into the kiss. It’s gone all at once, the same way it came. The pressure on your chest where he was laying there, on your forehead where the protruding parts of the metal dug into your skull, the rough fabric almost painfully hot on the skin of your lips, all of it. He pulls away before you can fully process it, before you can take it in for all of its glory. He rolls off of you, laying on the bed next to you facing away, partly curled up. You have to take a moment before you can do anything. You just kissed the Nikto. No, you were just kissed by The Nikto.

“Nikto?” You ask, voice soft and wavering, like if you speak too loud you’ll create a rip in space-time and it will have never happened. He cuts you off before you get any more in.

“Go,” He responds gruffly, and you nod, pulling off the bed. You’re a little stunned, and you do have places to be. You’d be worried that he was upset with you, but you have a feeling he’s just processing it, the same as you. Maybe he’s worried you’re upset with him? You almost feel like you need to cover up, and are subconsciously pulling the covers with you as you try to. You notice when you almost trip, but you catch yourself and throw them back on the bed. You take a deep breath, trying to ground yourself before speaking. And before leaving. You had appearances to keep up once you got back to the barracks and you had the three musketeers riding your dick.

“Okay,” You squeak, backing away. Your voice sounds so much more pathetic than you wanted it too, and you really can’t be having that. “See you tonight,” You say very quickly, hoping he’ll know you aren’t upset with him. You then promptly spin on your heels, and swing the door open. You go to step out of the room when you come face to face with a chest. You look up with a soft curse, only to find judging blue eyes staring back at yours from under a makeshift mask. The eyes are hard, angry. You’re in trouble.

“Oh, good morning, Colonel,” You manage to get out through a panicked breath. His arm is raised, you had interrupted him mid-knock. He lowers it, and it’s easy to tell his scowling down at you, eyes narrowing further. He bends slightly at the waist, and you hear the fabric shift and Nikto starts to speak when the room behind you goes silent. König looks behind you, and then back down at you, inching ever closer.

Then, you hear your voice hissed through teeth, a heavy Austrian accent filling your ears.

#call of duty #nikto cod #cod mw2 #nikto x reader #nikto #cod nikto