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kuttanjal123 · 2 years

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JASMINE

My name is Jasmine Broadus, and I'm fifteen years old. I was born in Hammond, Louisiana, in August. My parents are Charlie King and Phylicia Broadus. My biological father is Chad Broadus. I have brown eyes and chestnut-colored dreads. I come from a family of three, and I'm Black-American. Mom works as a pharmacist, and Charlie works as an investment banker. Chad and Mom had me when they just graduated from college. They both had rocky pasts. Mom was shuffled between different homes in foster care, and Chad's parents were imprisoned for petty thefts. They were gangsta. But Mom tried her best to give me a stable childhood.

"Aww ... just look at you in that home video, you just tryna be cool," said Charlie.

"This was the first moment you began walking," said Mom pointing at the picture. "You look just like Grandma."

Watching home videos with family is really awkward to do because you have no idea what you're saying or doing. I made an embarrassed face, stood up, and walked away. Maybe others felt different?

"Honey, come on, watch this!" they called out.

I walked into my room and shut the door. Let me tell you how it all went down. We had just moved into a new neighborhood, and I was sad because I missed my old home. But I guess I didn't really have to deal with its loss too bad when I met Jada and Keith.

Barbara, Jada's mother, and my mom met during grocery shopping. Apparently, I'd dropped my pacifier, and Barbara handed it back to my mom. That got it going, and it wasn't until I was enrolled at Wonder Years Daycare did I meet Keith. Barbara was friends with Linda, Keith's aunt. Ironically, Jada, Keith, and I were playing together.

Jada, Keith, and I used to go to the park, ride the swings, get on the seesaw; it was a lot of fun, and we attended Pinewood Elementary School. Interestingly Keith was great at knitting, and he knitted a sweater by the time we were seven. Jada was great at dancing. She and I did ballet together for a few years before I outgrew it. She was graceful and received several accolades for her performances. The year 2002 was dreadful. That's when Mom and Chad decided to get divorced. He was promiscuous and abusive. I had heard the arguments, screaming, and shouting and seen the marks on my mother's body. It was nasty.

I didn't understand what she saw in him, what caused her to keep going back to him. Chad was never my dad because he didn't really care for me or want me in his life. I was an "accident," according to him. When Mom met Charlie and married him, he was a dad to me even though he wasn't my biological father. Although Chad and Mom divorced, it was difficult to know that my birth parents didn't make it together, since my friends' parents had stable and secure marriages.

I was not exactly looking forward to the new dad I had in my life. Charlie and I shared a bond of respect, and that was it. The best part was that he agreed to anything I wanted. Although I never expressed excitement or enthusiasm in his efforts to bond with me, I could see he tried really hard. My approval and happiness mattered to him. But I wasn't there yet. I couldn't reciprocate. Mom and I had full support from Jada and Keith's family.

Swimming was a great thing to do in the summers. It was the best experience ever, for me at least. I was good with backflips, and Jada loved to dive ... and Keith? Well—

"I'm doing the Macarena!" screamed Keith.

"Keith! Get out! You look ridiculous!" screamed Linda.

We all stopped and looked to see what had happened.

"But Aunt Linda—"

"Quit acting like a girl!" she hollered.

Neither Mom nor Barbara objected or said anything, but I did.

"Linda, with all due respect, Keith seems to be having fun too. Why can't you let him?"

"Honey, you don't understand."

We headed home, and I felt terrible about what happened to him. "He was just having fun."

"I don't know. I think we shouldn't interfere."

"I can't do that. He's my friend. I'm sure Linda will change, but if she doesn't, that's too bad."

"But y'all seemed to have fun, Jada and you."

"Yeah, it was great. I want to be a swimmer."

"Sure, you can swim when you feel like it."

"No, for real. I wanna be a swimmer and compete in tournaments."

"Babe, that's a lot of work. We can't afford it right now."

"Please?! When I swam today, it felt like that was all I wanted to do. I was made for this."

"But honey—"

"I promise to take a part-time job to pay for my classes. And keep up the grades, do everything."

"OK, I'll talk to Dad."

"So you're saying yes?"

"We'll see."

At home, I put on the begging act. "Dad, can you say yes?" I asked.

"You can do whatever you like," said Charlie.

"Charlie?!" shouted Mom.

"Hey, babe, we got this covered," he said as he gave me a fist pump. "I'll pay for it. You ain't gotta work."

"Really?" I asked. "For real?"

"Uh-huh."

I jumped for joy. Although I was excited about this new chapter, I did feel bad about how Keith's experience wasn't the best. I wanted to talk to him about it.

"I'm sorry about what Linda said."

"Yeah, I get it. I'm from a military family so, I guess my aunt is orthodox."

"If you don't mind me asking, is it all right if I can pursue swimming?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, I wanna be a professional swimmer, but I wanted to ask you since I didn't want to offend you."

"Wait, what? Why you gotta ask me permission for something you wanna do?"

"Well, I just felt that it was so important to share what I was thinking with you. Especially given that we've always been tight and never hid things, I just wanted to ask you, you know? Out of respect?"

"Of course, you can! I'm not gonna feel bad because of what happened at the pool. You'd make an awesome swimmer."

"Really?"

"Yeah!"

"Thanks, Keith! You're the best!" I said as I hung up.

Ms. Shante became my teacher, and Mom and Dad were right. It was damn hard. The others seemed to do it faster than I could.

"Jazz ... you gotta focus and try harder."

They got it right in the fourth or fifth try, and I had to do it fifteen times to get the breathing and kicks right. At the end of the class, I was so done. Maybe this wasn't my cup of tea after all.

"Ms. Shante, I don't think I can do this anymore. Thanks for your time."

As I removed my goggles, I could see someone sitting next to me. It was her.

"You really wanna quit?"

"You saw me. You saw them other kids. They were so good, and I had to try so hard to get it right."

"I had to try fifty times to get what I showed y'all today when I started."

My jaw dropped, and I looked at her.

"Really?! Fifty?!"

"Yeah."

"Didn't you get fed up? Like you was tryin' so hard, and nothin' happened?!"

"Of course I did, but if I gave up then ... I wouldn't be here teachin' y'all. If you wanna be a professional swimmer, you gotta work for it. And that's what I did. A lot of people tried to shut me down. But I never gave up. I ain't givin' up. And you shouldn't either. Is this what you really want?"

I turned to her and nodded.

"Then you gotta work for it. You ready to do that?"

"YES!"

"Alright, let's kick some ass tomorrow!"

Three years passed. I was now participating in swimming competitions at other schools. I competed at the Lincoln School Swimming Championship, and I had to swim fourteen laps under five minutes. Five of us were competing. The laps were being monitored by each coach. The one with the maximum laps won. We were done, and the results were out.

"Jasmine Broadus ... in second place with Silver!" they called out.

Pictures were taken as I stood on the podium with my number place. But it did sting that I couldn't get Gold. Julia Meyers came first. She was hard to beat. A tall blonde who looked like Barbie. I couldn't understand what it was about her that made her so good. Once the ceremony was over and it was time to go home, I looked a bit disappointed.

"Hey, what's the matter?" asked Jada. "You ain't happy."

"Of course, I'm not. She gets the Gold all the time."

"Don't worry, you'll get it the next time," said Keith. "We should celebrate!"

"No! I don't want to. Not until I get Gold," I snapped.

Everyone was so happy, but I couldn't reciprocate. Mom pulled me aside. "You're being disrespectful to your friends and Ms. Shante!"

Ms. Shante heard us and joined in. "Mrs. Broadus, could you give Jazz and me a moment?" she asked.

Mom nodded reluctantly and walked away.

"You wanna tell me what's goin' on?"

"Why is it so hard for me to get Gold and so easy for her to get it instead? I worked so hard! Don't I deserve it?"

"Julia is different, and I'll show you why. But for now, go and have fun."

Jada and Keith wanted to have a pizza party over the weekend, but I wasn't interested at all. I was more focused on trying to beat Jackass Julia.

"I ain't ready to see myself on tape," I said, shaking my head.

"This time, you gotta watch and figure out why she keeps winning."

I spent an hour watching the tape over and over again.

"I don't see anything different. I guess she's just lucky. Some people just are, you know? Like it's meant to be, no matter what."

She sat next to me and played the tape again.

"You have to watch her movements by rewinding and playing it in slow motion so you can zoom in on what she's doing differently. Her timing, precision, balance, breath intervals; there's so much you can learn if you observe her."

As I watched, I could understand what she meant.

"So I just need to memorize the time gap between the dive, strokes, breath—"

"You need to learn how she balanced herself out. It's not about memorizing. Stick to your style and elegance. With time, you'll figure out what works best for you. Remember, your legs and the water are your friends. The more comfortable you get, the more confident you will be."

I had in it my head, but now I needed to get it to practice. That made me feel better because I learned my mistake. I decided to call Keith and Jada to make it up.

"Guys, we're having a pizza party at home! Bring it on!"

I personally liked Pizza Hut. I walked up to the counter to pick it up.

"Hey! Aren't you Jasmine Broadus, the swimmer?" asked a girl. "You're cool! I hope you get the Gold medal!"

I turned to her and nodded, smiling.

Although her words were kind with good intentions, the pressure was mounting up. People's expectations were increasing.

"Mom, would you still be happy if I didn't get the Gold?" I asked.

"Of course, I would. I'm happy if you get Silver or Bronze or if you don't get anything at all."

"Mom!"

"I didn't mean it that way. I mean that ... if you ain't gonna get any of them medals but you do what you love, that makes me happy. I will always be happy that you're happy."

"Same here, kid. Happy to see you get a medal, but much happier that you livin' your dream," said Charlie.

I brought it up when I hung out with Keith and Jada at the park.

"I hope you don't think I'm bugging and boring you out with my drama."

"Nah, girl. We're friends. That's what we're here for," said Jada.

"Yeah totally," said Keith.

"I feel like there's a lot of pressure, and I might not live up to the expectations. What if something happens?" I asked.

"Like what?" asked Keith.

"Like ... what if I fail? Don't maintain my form and go back to being a nobody?"

"That's not gonna happen. You're so good, and we believe you can do it," said Jada.

"You have to continue focusing on your passion and not what you think is tearing you down," said Keith.

"And what's that?"

"Your fear," said Keith. "You think that Julia is gonna get better and better, and there's nothing you can do about it."

"Maybe," I shrugged.

"Come on, Jazz! We know you! You're a fighter. Don't let her get to you," said Jada. "Just practice more."

"I've not been doing well in school. The grades suck," I shook my head.

"Dude, you've got a GPA of 3.40. That's not bad at all," said Keith.

"It's not gonna be too late before Mom calls it out."

"We've got you," they said.

"But why would you do this for me?" I asked when we stopped our walk.

"Because you're our friend," said Keith with a smile. "We've known each other and stuck together with our whole life. And we're really happy for you. That's what friends do. They stick up when they need each other."

"Everything's gonna be fine," said Jada hugging me.

That conversation lifted my spirit since I still felt incomplete despite receiving support from Mom, Charlie, and Ms. Shante. I guess I was searching for the missing piece to fill the void and had finally found it. Now, I had closure.

We were in Sherman High, and things hadn't changed, except for me. Physically I had grown taller, and now I was five feet, seven inches tall. With more practice and exercise, I maintained a good physique. Wanted to cheat but couldn't. Jada had long red curls, and she looked gorgeous. She looked like Rihanna on the cover of her LOUD album CD. Her brown eyes lit up. Keith had gotten much taller. He was six feet tall and had cut his dark brown hair on Linda's insistence. He'd grown it out over a while, but she ... she hated it. He was starting to grow a stubble. He'd gotten more attentive, and those green eyes never missed a beat.

Although I was pursuing my passion entirely, Jada had a defined ambition and worked towards it. Ballet was her first love, but so was being a dentist. She chose the latter. It made her busier since she was working at her mom's clinic, which caused her to miss some of my tournaments. I had won several medals for interschool championships.

"Ms. Shante, when will I be able to compete at the regional championships?" I asked.

"You will soon. You're almost there," she said with assurance.

Since I was a swimmer with rigorous regimes, I also had a voracious appetite. I loved Mom's ribs and steak, but I also liked Italian food. Keith and Jada both had Italian roots.

"Hey Keith, when are you gonna make somethin' Italian for me? After all, aren't Italians the ones who invented some of the most delicious food?"

"Hahaha, sure, I made ravioli last week, and you liked that."

"Yup, and the cheese sauce was amazing. Where'd you learn that from?" asked Jada.

"It was Grandma Alessa's famous recipe, and she lived in Italy her whole life. She passed it on to my parents ... " Keith trailed off.

We didn't know what to say except try to change the topic. Keith was orphaned at a young age because his parents were killed in a car accident. They had served the military for a long time. It wasn't a surprise that he didn't follow in their footsteps. Linda, however, remained unmarried to take care of him.

"Keith, what have you been thinking to pursue—"

"Guys, it's fine, we can talk about them. I'm over it."

"How did you find out?" I asked.

"Aunt Linda wanted to get me home from the hospital before Mom and Dad because they had some work to do with the military officials. They died on their way back home."

"So, you didn't see them even before you were born?" asked Jada.

He shook his head.

"How did you cope with it?"

"I didn't for a long time, but I wept a lot one night, and the next day I was fine. It felt like a new day with fresh beginnings," he said.

"Is it that easy to get over the pain?" I asked.

"No, it's not. But there's something else I don't think I'll ever be able to share, and that is—"

"Hey girls!" exclaimed Linda as we noticed her walk in. "When did you guys drop in?"

"About an hour ago. I must say, Keith makes great stuff."

"Hmm, that's good because he takes after me, and I taught him a lot of stuff."

"I actually learned a lot from Grandma too," he said, looking at her.

It was an awkward moment, but I decided to break it.

"He was talking about what he wanted to pursue," I said.

"Ohh, interesting, and what have you decided?" she asked.

He was pretty hesitant until we prompted him to share.

"I've ... uh ... decided to become a fashion designer."

"Wow! That's great!" Jada and I said, looking at each other.

"I think that explains why you're so good at knitting and sewing. You were able to help me finish my sweater in ten minutes when I was taking an hour," I said, smiling.

"Sewing?! Fashion?! Are you kidding me?" asked Linda infuriated. "You're not gonna do that. No way!"

"Why not?" asked Jada.

"Because it's not a manly thing to do. You're a man, and you should be doing something like engineering or be a scientist or a doctor."

"Linda, I believe he's free to do what he wants," I said.

"I'm the one who's looking after him, so that's my decision, not yours, honey."

"But Linda, he's so good. Fashion is appreciated worldwide. Some famous men have created a legacy in fashion like Dolce & Gabanna, Versace, and many more. He's capable, and you shouldn't stop him," said Jada.

"I'm out of here," she said and walked away.

"Keith, don't listen to her. She doesn't know what she's talkin' about. We know you! You can do this! And you should."

"Really?"

"Yeah! Go for it."

"I don't get why she doesn't understand, and she's not supportive," I said, shaking my head as I turned on the car's ignition.

"Yeah, I know," said Jada as she shut the door.

"Have you ever felt that before?" I asked.

"Like how?"

"Insulted and let down?"

"Yeah, it happened at the grocery store when I was a baby. A lady saw my mom with me and my mom had stepped away from the cart to get milk from the fridge. Coincidentally there was another baby whose mom had done the same thing. When my mom got back to the cart, a random lady outta nowhere walked up to her and said quote 'I think you're mistaken, that's your baby,' and pointed at the White baby."

I dropped my jaw and shook my head in disbelief.

"Are you serious?"

"Yeah, because I looked different. Of course I do! My mom's White and my dad's Black. I don't think she knew, but really?"

"So what did your mom say?"

"She said, 'I have the right baby,' and smiled before walking away."

"Yeah, that would have hurt. When did your mom tell you?" I asked.

"A few years ago. But it's cool."

Her dad was Denzel Murphy. Mr. Murphy was a police officer. But we wanted Keith to do things he wanted to. Jada and I took on the responsibility to look around to find part-time jobs or workshops for him, and lo and behold, we did. It was at Adele Fashion Studio. We shared some of his sewn sweaters, and they agreed to interview him.

"Where are you guys taking me?" asked Keith.

"Hold on, just close your eyes; we're almost there," I said as Jada and I closed his eyes.

"SURPRISE!" we cheered.

"WHA—"

"It's the Adele Fashion Studio. They wanted to interview you for their fashion designer position."

"Guys! You're the best!"

We were so happy. He deserved this. It was summer, and I began prepping for the upcoming competitions scheduled for when school re-opened. Ms. Shante had signed me up for all of them. Jada, Keith, and I didn't really spend much time because we were busy with our own schedules and plans. It had been only a couple of months since he got the job and terrible news hit. Linda found out. We weren't there when it all went down.

"I managed to hide it from her for a while," he said. "But one day, she just followed me because she was suspicious of where I was working."

"Where did you tell her you were working?" asked Jada.

"At Publix. She just stormed in and threw a scene. There were a bunch of people."

"Oh my, what did she say?" I asked.

"She was all like, 'Keith, what the hell are you doing here? I told you that you couldn't do this! You disrespected me!' And she went up to June and literally screamed in her face saying, 'Are you crazy? Bitch!'"

"Whoa," I said.

"Yeah ... so, I can't set foot in there anymore. It's pretty much over. I tried apologizing to June, the manager, but she didn't want to see me or talk to me at all."

I was upset over what'd happened to Keith. But I still had to do what I had to do. After all, Ms. Shante meant real business, and I couldn't let her down. I'd put on my swimming cap and goggles ... but I just couldn't get myself to jump in. I was in such deep thought that I didn't notice when someone tapped me.

"Aren't you supposed to be practicing?"

"Keith?!"

"Surprise!"

"What are you doing here?"

"Did I disturb your thoughts? Or were you just thinking about me?" he grinned.

Poor Keith still showed up and cheered for me even though things were terrible at home. I could see that beneath that smile, he'd cried a lot. He was a sensitive guy.

"Come on, Broadus!" he said as he jumped into the pool. "You don't wanna miss this!"

That made things much more manageable. I could get in now. Although Jada and I had it a bit easier with kids at school, Keith didn't. He was bullied and became very quiet as a result. He was mocked for his poor grades and his appearance. Jada and I used to stand up for him, and we were really protective of him. But he began to distance himself from us too ...

"Keith, why don't you start dating someone outside school?" I asked.

"Nobody's gonna date me," he said, shaking his head.

"Of course, someone will! There might be someone who will like you for who you are. You just have to give it a chance," I said.

"I know someone who works at Mom's clinic who would just be perfect for you," said Jada.

"Really?" he asked.

"Yeah, her name's Valerie Haydon. She's beautiful and so kind. Her hair's just like Blake Lively from Gossip Girl. You love her, don't you? In fact, she looks a lot like Lively."

"Quit it," he said, shaking his head.

"No, honestly!"

"Meh."

"You haven't met her. Give her a chance. I'm sure things may work out."

"OK, I'll do it. But it's just for you."

"Jeweled." Jada had been shadowing her mom and other dentists up till now. She was gonna perform her first surgery on a patient. Sure seemed to be a lucky place, given Keith and Valerie hit it off when they met there.

"She's nice, but I don't know if we can have something," he said as we waited at the signal.

"How would you know that? You just met her. But she was nice, wasn't she?"

"Yeah."

"You should plan a date."

"I'm not doing that," he said.

I pulled over to the curb.

"What are you doing?" he asked.

"Come on, Keith, we're doing this for you. You deserve to be happy."

"But I don't need a girlfriend."

"Jada and I won't be around all time. Maybe you need someone to offer you emotional support besides us. Someone you can be intimate with and who gets you, besides us."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, I'm gonna get busier, so is Jada, and so are you as time goes by. We might not see each other a lot like we do now, but Valerie could also be someone you could open up to. Just ... trust her. Give her a fair shot."

"What makes you think that I'm gonna get busy?"

"You wanna be a fashion designer, right?"

"I want to, but Aunt Linda—"

"Keith, do you remember there were times I wanted to give up? But all of you stood by me."

"That's different."

"Dude ... you should move out," I said, shaking my head.

"Move out? And go where?"

"Find your own place?"

"I can't do that. Aunt Linda's been there for me before anyone. Even before you and—"

"I get that. I was just trying to be supportive of your dream. We tried to help you in ways we could. All we want is for you to be happy. We just wanna help. That's it."

Keith nodded. "I'll try."

"So we in agreement?" I asked. "Will you give Valerie a chance?"

"I'll see what I can do."

Finally, the hope was that the outcome would improve things, even though he didn't have the job he wanted.

We were a bit late for Jada's first surgery, and she was mad. Really mad.

"Where were you guys?!" she asked angrily.

"We ... uh ... had to run a couple of errands," said Keith.

"Really? Like what?!"

"Like this," he said and pulled out a life-sized portrait of her in her dentist outfit.

"Wow! What's this?!"

"We made it for you. Thought that this could be a welcome home present. After all, you're now a qualified dentist, and you can choose wherever you'd like to work," I said.

"Aww, you guys," she said as she hugged us.

"You were awesome. You nailed it," said Keith smiling.

"Isn't this great? You're an established swimmer, I'm finally a dentist, and Keith, you—"

"Guess I'm the odd one out." He smiled faintly before he left. We hurried behind.

"Keith, I didn't mean it that way," said Jada. "I was just amazed at how far we'd come—"

"And too bad I don't have that in common."

"Look, I'm sorry. I was just excited. And you're gonna be great too. You'll make it. Just give it some time," she said, patting him.

"I need to be alone for a while," he said as he left.

"Jada ... why did you?" I said, shaking my head.

"I'm sorry," she said.

He didn't take our calls for a few days even though we left messages. We went to visit him, and he didn't let us in. But Linda did.

"You girls knew that I oppose that stupid thing," she said opening the door.

"He deserves to be happy. Can't you see he isn't?" asked Jada.

"I know what's best for him. So just leave," she said and slammed the door.

The following days at school felt weird. He was in class but he didn't talk to us. We looked at each other, not knowing what to do. The bullying continued. We had a presentation to do in psychology. Ms. Wayne asked us to talk about the unresolved pain that we felt in our hearts and minds. When it was Keith's turn, he got up and stood in front of the class. "I feel sad that sometimes I'm not good enough for people—"

"Of course, what did you expect? You're a fa—"

Keith leaped and began beating the kid up until he was severely bruised.

"What did you say?! What did you call me?!"

"That's what you are!"

The fight was broken apart, but Keith got sent to the Principal's office, even though it wasn't his fault. But our efforts to stand up for him only escalated things further. Upset, Keith glared at us and took his bag, heading out. Ouch. And although he avoided us for a few days, we eventually coaxed him into going with us to The Cheesecake Factory. We wanted to surprise him, but instead, he did ... and not in a good way.

"Valerie and I ... we went out and got ice cream ... had our first kiss ... then headed to her apartment where we fooled around—"

"Are you done lying?" snapped Valerie.

"What?" he asked, surprised.

"None of this happened."

Jada and I looked at each other, then them, perplexed.

"I gotta go," said Keith as he stood up uncomfortably and left.

After a long moment of silence, Valerie broke down.

"He didn't take me anywhere! I texted him so many times! It feels like he doesn't have any interest in getting to know me."

"Did you guys fight?" asked Jada.

"It wasn't exactly a fight, but ..., " she trailed off. "I called him over to watch a movie. There was a gay scene in it, and he got so mad he broke the remote. And then when we were kissing, he pushed me away and left."

Jada and I looked at each other shocked.

"Has he ever acted this way before?" she asked.

We shook our heads in disagreement.

"I don't know what to do at this point. I guess we shouldn't see each other anymore," she said.

We were in a fix again. It was a few days before graduation, and that's all we were talking about. Jada and I walked into the library since we wanted to discuss something. The school wasn't full yet. At 10 a.m., we heard glass shatter, and it sounded like fireworks were nearby. It only got louder and louder. I had a horrible feeling.

"Students and staff, please stay where you are," said Principal Derek over the mic in a frantic tone.

We heard a gun go off.

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doodleoogles · 2 years

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At this point, I am not sure what hurted more. The fact that I was left behind after being led on to believe that we could more than what we were, or the hard truth that as he walked away, he never once looked back despite hearing the sound of my world falling apart. Knowing he caused that much pain on someone but still continued to walk away claiming it's the best thing to do. It's as if none of the things we went through ever mattered. Maybe they never did. I guess this is what I get for trusting again.

I needed time to process things. I'm torn between waiting (not like there's something to wait for really), wondering if he'll come back if things get better for him or start moving forward with my life. The latter is the best and only logical reason in this situation. There's no returning, there's nothing but a hollow surface of a life that never existed. I knew it right from the start, it's all a make believe, we were actors playing a role, pretending there's a future for us. I was holding back but damn he was so good at convincing me that we could be happy. For a while yes we were. But then the hardships came on his part. Everything he did seem to not work out. He was trying to make a living, I was helping him. I was there all throughout.

Looking back, I realized if what I did was wrong. Should I have just let him be on his own? If he wasn't able to get any funds from the start, would that have forced him to get a job instead? If he had a job, would he have stayed? I know it shouldn't be on me anymore. I know I wasn't the problem. He always has been. Him and his fucking complexities and his toxic life and toxic past he just can't seem to get rid off. I stayed despite all that. I made the decision to stay and stick with him not only during the times when life was pure bliss. I stayed even more when the times sucked so bad. I thought that's what you do when you commit to love someone, was I wrong?

I know it doesn't make sense to ask all these questions and I definitely won't be getting any answers. Somehow it helps to just throw all those questions out. Otherwise, I'm going to lose my mind because the voices inside my head kept replaying the same questions over and over.

Of all the things he could give up, he gave me up. He could've given up on trying for now and get a job (like a normal fucking human being). He can come back anytime as long as the funds are there. He could've given up on gigs when they're not even paying him. He could've given up on friends that are no help at all. He could've given up on his pride and get a fucking paying job like a normal fucking human being. He gave me up. Like my friend said, fuck him. He could've endured all this with someone like me by his side but he made the decision to leave. It's on him, that's what everyone kept telling me.

I know I have to pick myself up again. Start over. It may take time, wait scratch that.. it will take time. I'm in so much pain, and anger that sometimes I cannot think straight. I have my amazing friends around me who keep me sane and I couldn't be more thankful. I have my son and my dog with me. We're happy even though he may not have a father around him. All my guy friends are doing their fair share of fatherhood. We are full of love, we are a family, bound by ties stronger than blood. I didn't lose anything. In fact, I gained more - learning experience, an opportunity to start again, a better outlook on life, a drive to turn things around.

It will still hurt from time to time. A good friend told me, I have to face it head on. It will hurt definitely, he said. There are times you will feel you wanna cry and that's OK. Don't hold back. Cry like you'll never cry again. Cry with every fiber of your being. You'll feel better after every random breakdown, they said. Dealing with this, I also felt the genuine care of the people around me. I kept my circle small and I'm so glad I chose the right people. I wish I could apply the same logic when choosing a partner though. Well, you can't have it all.

I hope I can say I wish him best but I felt so betrayed I can't find myself saying anything good. I think I'd rather not say what I wish for him. Let's just say we all get what we deserve. God I now feel better after writing that. I'll leave it up to fate to give him what he earned.

As for me, I have a whole life ahead. New adventures, new people to meet and places to see. Yes sometimes I still think about the places we could've gone together. I may still look back at the happy times and cry. Thankfully, nothing is permanent, even pain. I will get through this, and be better than the person who used to be yours.

#personal #doodles #decisions #fuck him #chefa #acefrank #fuck you #pain #hurt #left alone #curse you #choice

0 notes

jungw8ns · 3 years

Text

GOING TO AN ESCAPE ROOM WITH ENHYPEN !

PAIRING: boyfriend!enha x gn!reader. GENRE: established relationship, fluff, crack. WARNINGS: profanity (not that much tho), mentions of death (?). WORD COUNT: 100 - 200 each member.

HEESEUNG:

the two of you were so pumped playing an escape room together for the first time that the other people in line had to calm you guys down (which was trully embarrassing to say the least 🤐🤐)

he was looking at the ranking board filled with pictures of players that had succeeded in the shortest amount of time and he just wanted nothing more than to see both your faces on there

but anyways, we all know how competitive heeseung gets 🕴️

oh boy let me tell you, this guy WAS SPEEDRUNNING IT but not the kind you were thinking

the second the timer had started he was literally SPRINTING AROUND THE ROOM LOOKING FOR CLUES YET COMPLETELY MISSING THEM 🏃‍♂️💨💨💨

while he was busy running around, you were picking up the little details in the room and in no time managed to open a few locks

"y/n look i found– oh 😐😑😐"

HE WAS SULKING PLSSS 😭😭😭

when you noticed him standing from afar staring at you with his arms crossed, you called him to solve this one puzzle you already did

*gasps* "oh no! babe i don't understand how to do this, please help me 😔😔🤥🙏🙏"

he had to bite his lower lip to stop himself from letting out that cocky grin but it got out eventually

"oh it's so easy sweetheart, just put this here and then voila! 😉"

when the two of you escaped you suprisingly got to take a polaroid with him home after ranking 2nd in the records

heeseung was the one who held onto it tho, placing it underneath his clear phonecase for safekeeping <3

JAY:

GOD THIS DUDE

THE ESCAPE ROOM WASN'T EVEN THAT SCARY AND YET EVERYTIME YOU GUYS OPEN A LOCK OR A DOOR HIS FIGHT OR FLIGHT INSTINCTS COME UP 😭😭👊👊

"y/n stay behind me >:(("

"um, babe, you do realize that's just a door right?"

"WE'LL BETTER SAFE THAN SORRY?? THE STAFF COULD'VE PROGRAMMED IT TO GROW LEGS?? 😵🧐🧐"

you knew you shouldn't have played horror games with him a few nights ago cause he looked like he was about to lose his mind 😔

you had to shove his ass aside and move on to the next mission cause the both of you knew that he was stalling 🏌️‍♀️

jay was being extra clingy the whole time you were playing, he'd either link arms with you or hold hands (he's literally so adorable) 💞💞

BUT THEN YOU THOUGHT OF DOING A PRANK ON HIM

while you were roaming around the room trying to solve a puzzle, you saw this horse mask on a nearby table

and so you made sure jay was distracted and put on the mask

you could've NOT worn the dusty old thing but where was the fun in that?

"jay can you come here for a sec?"

you hid behind the wall beside the door frame waiting for him to come into your sight and attacked him

now, how about we guess what happens next?

a. he faints

b. he runs away

or c. he slaps you in the face and forces you to buy him food for the rest of the night

if you guessed c then YAY! YOU'RE CORRECT 🥳🎉🎉🎊

THIS HOE SLAPS YOU AS HE SHOULD

"$##/@+(+'£%(:?!!)&£**/*%@"

when he finally takes off the mask like those scenes in scooby doo he's never felt so betrayed in his life

"i- I TRUSTED YOU 😭😭😭 YOU BETTER BUY ME FOOD LATER, I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS, THE BETRAYAL???? LITERALLY UNPROVOKED?????"

he wouldn't stop side eyeing you until you guys finally pulled up on the mcdonalds drive thru

"hi, can i get two um– bts meals please? 😒😒 and two oreo mc flurries 🙄🙄 and also large fries 😐😐"

sane (1/3)

would be trailing behind you like a little puppy (i love him so much 😭😭😭)

he either has his arm linked with yours or held hands every five minutes

JAKE:

really focused on the puzzles he's doing but the second he hears you call out his name for help he's there beside you with the sweetest smile

but anyways, mans was POPPING OFF the entire time you were playing

he was solving problem after problem in no time (he wanted to impress you is why he activated his inner flash ⚡⚡) but he did let you play tho, the last thing he wanted to do was make you pissed at him for hogging all the games

def buried jake with compliments and forehead kisses right after ❤️__❤️

and so the two of you got out in like an hour and a few which you were very proud of

"you were so cool today babe, good job !!"

"aww thank you angel 😊😊"

sane (2/3)

SUNGHOON:

would be linking pinkies with you the whole time, only letting go whenever the both of you had to solve something that needed two or more people

there was this one game tho where he had to arm wrestle this literal hand lever to open the door to the last room (yea...don’t ask why, the staffs were pretty weird 😬😬)

it made him enjoy the experience a bit more as it was only the two of you playing instead of getting accompanied by strangers

HGAWAHSGDHSGHDA PLSS THIS GUY

“oh this’ll be easy, y/n step aside, i’ll handle this 😏😏😏”

idk if you were supposed to think about how handsome he looked with his serious expression on and his veiny hands coming into frame or be worried for him because the lever was REAL HARD to pull that his veins looked like they were going to pop any second soon, you stepped in and helped him tho cause you were a good s/o <3

from a spectators point of view, the two of you looked like y’all were about shit your pants but the two of you eventually succeeded on beating it, immediately dragging him to the next room which had a sofa in it, laying down to catch your breaths

cliché moment ahead ⚠️⚠️

the two of you shared a few laughs before standing up on the empty space, held hands and started to jump in circles to celebrate your success 💃💃

yupp, y’all were never going back to that hellhole again

very stubborn at first, he wanted nothing to do with the game but then you held him at gunpoint by saying:

SUNOO:

"please just this once or else i'll revoke your mint choco ice cream rights 🔫🔫🔫"

"BUT IT'S SCARY IN THERE BABE :((("

"it won't be that scary sunshine, besides, i'll be ready to 🤜💥 yk?? trust me babe i would never let anyone hurt you <33"

kinda pissed since you blackmailed him into the place and also bc he wanted to play bumper cars and dance mania but he yea he caved in pretty quick 😋😋

(y/n let him play his games in peace tf >:(((( )

once you guys got in tho he realized how normal it was and that it was not terrifying at all

THE EPITOME OF CLINGY OMFG

he wouldn't stop back hugging you and you couldn't bring yourself to push him away to play the games so you just let him walk behind you with his arms on your shoulders 😩😩

(y'all were walking kinda funny but don't tell sunoo that 🤫🤫🤫)

yea the two of you ended up escaping with a whopping 2 hours and a few minutes

but it was the effort that counts so A+++++ for the both if you 😜👍👍👍

sane (3/3)

JUNGWON:

was the one who suggested going, he even searched on naver about really good escape room places to visit and was overall really looking forward it

he liked going to places and having fun with you so it wasn't a shock how his eyes were literally crescents and his dimples were so evident

yea he literally rushed the both of you to the place that you were the first in line 😵

while waiting for the staff to finish setting up he was playing with your connected hands like 🖐️✊🖐️✊ (so precious 💞💞)

"y/n why are you taking so long 😭😭 what if they close and we end up not solving a single lock, hurry up por favorrr 😩🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏"

when they finally lead you to the room he was kind of surprised that they had separated the two of you into different spaces (like the one with txt where they had the answers to the other member's puzzles yk???)

he was locked inside a telephone stand while you were handcuffed in the main room

dw the two of you reunited after a few minutes cause jungwon was rushing his lock to get to you 🤭

you both were progressing at an average pace and it made you guys a lot more closer (not that you guys weren't before but you get what i mean)

after you guys escaped the two of you went to eat curry and talked about the whole experience 😋✌️✌️✌️

this boy literally dragged you in the escape room with him

NIKI:

HE DIDN'T EVEN GIVE YOU TIME TO REFUSE HE JUST 😐👉🚪

"ok masterchefs, in order to test your abilities we must go through series of puzzles and make it out alive, understood?"

he tried ignoring how confused you were and went on to try and get you guys to escape

HE'S LAUGHING AT YOU FOR WHATEVER REASON AND OBV YOU LAUGH ASWELL CAUSE WHO WOULDN'T??? his laugh is so contagious pls 🤖🤖 he was so close to d wording cause he couldn't breathe from laughing too much

yea.. you guys spent so much time laughing at each other for being so dumb at this that you ended up playing 'till closing time

spoiler alert: he fails on doing anything cause the second you made eye contact with him this child collapses 😍🤩

GIRL SO EMBARRASSING 🤡🤡

THE STAFF KICKED THE BOTH OF YOU OUT AND NOW YOU GUYS WERE BANNED FROM THE PLACE ☠️☠️

"haunted house next weekend???"

"BET"

NOTE – god they were WAY funnier in my head but yeah.... i love them so much AND OMFG HAVE YOU GUYS SEEN HEESEUNG’S SELCAS LAST NIGHT???!?@??#?@?!?@ HE’S NOT REAL WTF ⁉️❓❓⁉️

also, idk why BUT EVERY TIME I SAVE A DRAFT the paragraphs get scrambled?? £!?) 6=6) 🤣😂💔💔🤣🤣😂💔 it's so annoying but anyways, ilysm pls stay safe and have a great day <33

#enhypen #enhypen drabbles #enhypen reactions #enhypen imagines #enhypen fluff #enhypen x gender neutral reader #heeseung x reader #jay x reader #jake x reader #sunghoon x reader #sunoo x reader #jungwon x reader #niki x reader #jungw8ns

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brrahbrrahcharacterimagines · 3 years

Text

Quickie (Might Guy x Reader) *Smut*

MASTERLIST

Pairing: Might Guy x Reader

Word Count: 2192

Warnings: Alcohol, swearing, unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it), quickie, dirty talk, praise kink, lots of dirty sex things

A/N: oop and again my thirstiness reaches over 2000 words... enjoy

Your week couldn't have been much worse. You were only assigned low-ranking missions despite your skill. Instead of going off to save the leaf village, you saved a cat from a tree and pulled weeds. It couldn't have gotten much lower than that.

It isn't that you aren't powerful. Your jutsu is on par with the likes of Guy or Kakashi, so you don't know why you drew the short stick this week.

On top of that, on your way home from the store you dropped an armful of groceries and apples rolled across the street in front of a group of civilians. Already not liking to be looked at so often in your uniform, looking clumsy while people watched was somewhat of a final straw. When Kakashi told you he was getting a group together to go out, you didn't hesitate to say yes.

A couple of your colleagues were already at the bar when you got there, but none of your close friends. You made your way to the counter, calling the bartender over.

"Can I get a tequila sunrise? Extra tequila?" You ask the man behind the counter. He chuckles back, nodding and making your drink.

Handing it over to you, the drink doesn't stay in your hand for long. After a while you've had a second, and before you knew it you were ready to hit the dance floor. You glanced back over towards the other Shinobi, seeing Kakashi finally made it. You smiled at him with a little wave before making your way to the floor.

You let the music take hold of your body, the bass becoming your heartbeat as you moved to the rhythm. You didn't mind dancing alone, it was freeing. It was as if you were letting go of all the stresses of the week. You moved your hips back and forth to the beat, flipping your hair every so often. You felt hot.

Guy didn't want to go out tonight. He'd told Kakashi he wasn't feeling it, but Kakashi could be more persistent than just about anyone. All Kakashi had to do was tell Guy that he could outdrink him, and Guy had to show up just to prove him wrong.

Walking in, Guy noticed pretty much everyone was already there. he made his way to Kakashi, taking note of the glass of water in front of him.

"Waiting on me to start our competition?" Asked guy with a confident smile.

"Oh, hey Guy!" Said Kakashi with a wave. While his tone was cheerful, Guy sensed a note of sarcasm underneath. "I guess you'll win tonight, I'm the sober monitor tonight."

Damn it, thought Guy, he got me.

Deciding to enjoy himself anyway, Guy ordered some sake to get started. Looking around, he noticed a member of the party was missing. He knows Kakashi had asked you to come, but when he didn't find you at the table he figured you had decided not to come after all.

That's when he caught a glimpse of (h/c) hair from the dance floor. You were nearly straight in front of him, dancing without a care in the world. You had a smile on your face, lost in the music. Guy couldn't help but stare at you. You looked so...

Youthful.

He had always admired your skills in taijutsu. He liked the fact that you valued it in the same way that he did. Yet, he felt something more than just admiration when he looked at you tonight. Looking at you out on the dance floor, Guy couldn't help but notice just how attractive you were. His eyes made their way up and down the curves of your body, lingering on your chest to admire the fact that you had chosen to wear a low-cut dress tonight.

Lower down, he stared at the way you swung your body to the beat. The way your hips moved were almost sinful.

Guy cleared his throat, turning away. He felt a blush rise to his cheeks, hoping nobody saw in the dim light. Unluckily for him, as soon as he turned away he came face to face with Kakashi.

"See something you like?" He teased. Guy could only feel his blush growing stronger as he tried to stammer out an acceptable response. Kakashi just chuckled at his coworker. "Go say hi. It's not like she's a stranger."

Not one to let Kakashi get the last laugh, Guy decided to actually follow through with his joking advice.

You had no idea how long you had been dancing. The songs flowed one to the next, seamless transitions making sure you would have no idea how many songs passed as you danced the night away.

"May I join you?" Asked a familiar voice, jolting you from your trance.

"Guy!" You exclaimed, turning around to face him. Your breathless smile made his heart skip a beat, but you didn't notice. "I'm glad you made it."

Guy returned your smile, "I didn't know you would be here. I'm happy I was wrong."

You continued moving, more mindful of your colleague in front of you. He was a really good dancer, which wasn't all that surprising. In many ways taijutsu is a dance in itself, and his skill with it could explain his skill in moving his body now.

The two of you danced together, keeping a respectable distance. That was, until, you saw a mischievous glint cross his eye. Guy began walking away, and you had to admit you were sad to see him go. You turned your thoughts back to the song, moving in time to the rhythm as you assumed he walked away. Then you felt them on you.

His hands.

You felt two large hands grab you by the hips. It would have scared you had you not recognized the green sleeves around the wrists.

Your breath caught in your throat, causing a smile to rise to Guy's face even though you couldn't see it. He began moving in time with you, swaying to the beat behind you. He was almost tantalizingly close to you, and you felt your breath get heavier. How had you never noticed him like this before?

The song transitioned to the next, the pace a bit faster. You took a leap of faith.

Leaning forward just enough, you shook your hips from side to side without moving Guy's hands. You felt them grab onto you tighter, only spurring you on as you began to grind against your fellow ninja.

At first you tried to ignore it, but soon it was impossible not to feel his hardening cock against your ass. It would be a lie to say it wasn't only spurring you to continue. It was hard to deny the way his reaction was making you feel, a tingle shooting down to your core.

You had just started to get into it when he used his grip on you to force you upright again.

You felt your heart drop. Maybe you shouldn't have done that.

"Meet me in the bathroom in five minutes." Said Guy into your ear, the roughness of his voice making you lust for the man even more. Admittedly, you watched as he walked away. He winked at you before sauntering off, the muscles on his back defined as he turned away from you.

Five minutes couldn't pass by fast enough.

Guy entered the bathroom, taking a deep breath once he was inside. He didn't know what had come over him, but he needed you. He needed you bad, and he needed you now. His head was spinning just thinking about it, and he'd barely had a cup of sake. The way you felt under his hands, and pressed up against him, was what was making him feel this way.

He was never this needy. Guy was always the one to have this effect on women, never the other way around. Sure, he'd had plenty of experience. But he had never been so desperate for the bathroom door to open and see you standing there.

As the minutes passed, he began to worry if it had been a mistake. What if you weren't coming? You could be with the rest of your friends right now, laughing about what he had just said to you. He pushed the thought to the back of his mind. You weren't like that. Right?

He heard the bathroom door swing open, the quiet click of a lock accompanying its close.

"Hey," you said.

You mentally smacked yourself at your word choice. That's really all you could come up with?

Looking up at Guy, you knew you looked needy. Lust overwhelmed your senses as you took in his strong physique. He made his way towards you, leaning down towards your lips. You eyes fluttered shut.

"Hey," he said. You opened your eyes to see a cocky smile plastered on his face.

"Shut up," you replied, not caring much for his teasing as you smashed your lips to his. As soon as you did he wrapped his arms around you tightly, kissing you back hungrily. You couldn't help but moan into his mouth at the feeling, only spurring him on.

You grabbed at his chest, using a fistful of his uniform to try and pull him even closer to you. His hands wandered lower, pulling up the short skirt of your dress to grope your ass. He growled lowly, kneading at the soft flesh.

Guy's lips moved downwards to the side of your neck, kissing a trail until he found your sweet spot. He stopped, sucking, biting, and kissing as all you could do was moan for him. You knew you would have to explain the hickey to your team later, but right now you didn't care. All you cared about was how good it felt to have Guy's lips on your body.

Your own hands wandered lower on Guy's body, palming his erection through his pants. He wasn't even fully hard yet, and you could feel how big he was. He bucked his hips towards you as you continued jacking him off through the fabric that felt way too thick for your liking.

Guy reached down, and in one swift movement your panties were on the ground. You felt his calloused hands run up your inner thighs, sending a shiver up your spine.

You gasped, feeling his fingers make their way to your soft folds as his lips found their way back to your own

"You're so fucking wet for me baby," he mumbled against you lips, "I bet this is what you wanted, wasn't it?"

You didn't say anything at first, taken by surprise at his dirty talk. It wasn't something you expected out of Guy, but you weren't complaining.

He pushed a finger into your hold, making you moan. You rolled your hips against his hand, practically begging for more. He gave you just that, starting to pump two fingers in and out of your dripping pussy.

"Guy," you moaned. He felt his dick twitch at the way his name fell from your lips. He was sure you'd be the death of him if you kept this up.

"God baby," he said, "you're so tight."

His tongue explored you mouth as he kept fingering you, curling his fingers inside in a way that only made you want him more.

"Turn around for me." You did as he asked, turning around so that your ass was on display for him. You braced your arms on the wall, feeling Guy press himself up behind you. "Good girl," he whispered in your ear.

You heard clothes ruffle as he undressed enough to get his cock out. You barely had any warning before he pulled up your dress and shoved his hard cock into your soaking cunt.

"Fuck Guy!" You gasped. You could feel his thrust falter at your words, only making you more confident. You pushed your hips back towards him. He gave you a moment to regain your breath, pulling out just enough to slam back into you.

He started off hard and fast, and you were already seeing stars. You wouldn't last very long if he kept this up, and you suspected neither would he.

"I'm already so fucking close baby," you groan, "your cock feels so fucking good." He groaned in response, continuing to fuck you until it was all you could think about. With every thrust he hit deep inside of you, making you closer and closer to your release. Your moans grew louder as you felt the pressure build up inside you. "God you're gonna make me cum," you moaned, almost screaming as you hit your high.

Your walls clenched around Guy's dick, pushing him over the edge as he spilled his seed inside of you. You didn't even care that he didn't pull out, too busy riding out your own orgasm.

After a moment, he pulled out of you and re-dressed himself.

"I'll see you around," he said with a wink, leaving you in the bathroom to process what had just happened. You knew this would be far from the last time.

MASTERLIST

#might gai x reader #might guy x reader #might guy #maito gai x reader #maito guy x reader #maito guy #might guy smut #guy smut #guy sensei x reader #guy sensei smut #maito guy smut #might guy x reader smut #maito guy x reader smut

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in-christalone · 2 years

Note

Tbh there were several Bible stories I grew up with where God's actions struck me as extremely barbaric or needlessly cruel, but off the top of my head there are a few that really stuck out to me.

One was in Kings when a group of young boys mocked Elisha for his baldness and he sent a curse in the name of Lord that caused 42 of the boys to be mauled by bears. I know that just because something happened in the Bible doesn't mean God approves of it, but if I remember correctly Elisha is never condemned or criticized for this. I've also heard the interpretation that the "young boys" were actually young men, but as far as I'm aware there's not really enough evidence to say for certain.

Another thing that always bothered me was in Numbers when the Israelites become impatient and start complaining (the whole "have you brought us up out of Egypt to die in the wilderness" thing) and God responds by sending venomous snakes to kill a several of them (I think the passage states that "many died")

Another story I always found very upsetting despite it's importance and popularity is that of Abraham and Isaac in Genesis. I have heard it said many times that the whole point of the story is that Abraham had faith and knew God wouldn't actually force him to sacrifice his son, but even if that's true I was always so horrified by the damage that Isaac must have lived with after that. I find it difficult to imagine that he ever felt safe with his father again, knowing he would sacrifice him at God's request. And for what purpose? So God could test Abraham's faith? Was there no way to do that without traumatizing Isaac and putting Abraham in such a horrific situation? I remember being a young child and feeling like I couldn't trust the adults in my own family after being told that story so many times, because they made it very clear that Abraham's actions were admirable and, if God asked them to, they would kill their loved ones.

I'm rambling so I'll move onto the last one, which is the story of Job. I've read article upon article and Bible study upon Bible study, not to mention had multiple discussions with seasoned Christians trying to understand how the things that happened in that book could have ever been necessary or positive and I still cannot stomach it or conceive any sort of rational explanation.

I'm totally open to hearing your explanations for these things but I've had them explained to me many times and I still don't find God's violence to be justified or righteous. With all due respect I personally believe that a lot of God's actions are morally repugnant but Christians, in my experience, sort of just deny it by deflecting to different issues ("well humans don't deserve mercy anyway so it was totally fair") or simply coming to the conclusion that if God does it it must be good.

I am so looking forward to doing some study on this! Of course, I don't expect to change your mind at all but I am so pumped,*( I have an art piece on my wall of the one you mentioned about the snakes coming to kill the people, it's like, a direct allegory to Jesus and how people refuse to turn to Him for salvation. sksksks but I'll explain that in a minute )*

»»————-　♡　————-««

I'm not going to try and be transparent or "cover-up" anything. I seek Truth, even when we see things that might make us stumble. If I'm wrong on something, I would pray that someone who has studied deeper on the subject would correct me.

»»————-　♡　————-««

"One was in Kings when a group of young boys mocked Elisha for his baldness and he sent a curse in the name of Lord that caused 42 of the boys to be mauled by bears. I know that just because something happened in the Bible doesn't mean God approves of it, but if I remember correctly Elisha is never condemned or criticized for this. I've also heard the interpretation that the "young boys" were actually young men, but as far as I'm aware there's not really enough evidence to say for certain."

2 Kings 2:24-25 From there, Elisha went up to Bethel, and as he was walking up the road, a group of boys came out of the city and jeered at him, chanting, “Go up, you baldhead! Go up, you baldhead!” Then he turned around, looked at them, and called down a curse on them in the name of the LORD. Suddenly two female bears came out of the woods and mauled forty-two of the boys.

Elisha was known to be compassionate on the repentant and unforgiving and obstinate on the unrepentant.

From biblehbs commentary on the verse: It is not said how far the lads were injured, whether fatally or not. But the punishment, whatever its severity, came from God, not from the prophet, and we may be sure was just. For "shall not the Judge of all the earth do right?" A severe example may have been needed under the circumstances of the time, when a new generation was growing up in contempt of God and of religion; and the sin of the lads was not a small one, but indicated that determined bent of the will against good, and preference of evil, which is often developed early, and generally goes on from bad to worse. 2 Kings 2:24.

I do not believe the boys were killed, nor that all of them were injured, perhaps in that moment of the boy's insults the bears came out and they were able to escape, albeit slightly harmed. I'm not going to say I fully understand what's going on, and I found a little study on it too. When I read it, my initial thought was that Elisha was abusing God's power as a prophet for the sake of his pride, but I see that this could also be a representation of how severe the boys generation is, critical against God and needing reprimanding, tho I don't believe any were fatally harmed. Additionally, what type of bears was it? Polar bears are the most dangerous bears and will kill on sight, but I highly doubt there was a polar bear hanging around Bethel.

⊱ ────── {⋅. ✯ .⋅} ────── ⊰

"Another thing that always bothered me was in Numbers when the Israelites become impatient and start complaining (the whole "have you brought us up out of Egypt to die in the wilderness" thing) and God responds by sending venomous snakes to kill a several of them (I think the passage states that "many died")"

＼＼\(۶•̀ᴗ•́)۶//／／ aw yis, I love this one

Numbers 21:4-9 Then they set out from Mount Hor by the way of the Red Sea, to go around the land of Edom; and the people became impatient because of the journey. So the people spoke against God and Moses: “Why have you brought us up from Egypt to die in the wilderness? For there is no food and no water, and we are disgusted with this miserable food.” Then the Lord sent fiery serpents among the people and they bit the people, so that many people of Israel died. So the people came to Moses and said, “We have sinned, because we have spoken against the Lord and against you; intercede with the Lord, that He will remove the serpents from us.” And Moses interceded for the people. Then the Lord said to Moses, “Make a fiery serpent, and put it on a flag pole; and it shall come about, that everyone who is bitten, and looks at it, will live.” So Moses made a bronze serpent and put it on the flag pole; and it came about, that if a serpent bit someone, and he looked at the bronze serpent, he lived.

You're right that the people were ungrateful for what God had done. The Egyptians were harsh in their rule over the Hebrews, killing all the firstborn? Refusing them even a day of rest to worship their Lord? Heavy demand and supply? They were slaves, they were treated like cattle and they think, "this manna is tiring to eat and we've been walking for a long time. It was better in Egypt. Even with knowing what their future idolatry would look like, God continued to provide for them, they've fallen into rebellion against God so many times and God would continue to send His prophets to call them to repentance. God is not unjust in how He disciplines His people, His people were stubborn, this was the way God knew they would listen [if only for a moment, I say that because even though this, they still did not honor God and worshipped false gods.]

Like in this instance with Moses, God told Moses to make a bronze serpent, it was an order from God, it was not that Moses tried to save his own people by his own will but that God sought to save them. He has prepared a remedy from death.

If anyone looks to that serpent then they are saved from the death of the bite. In the same way, we are saved from the sting of eternal death when we look to Jesus.

How did the people thank God for saving them? They didn't. They started worshipping the snake instead. Given this before and after treatment, I still don't believe God was unjust in His actions to bring the serpents. Really, I say, "Dude they just killed you, now you're gonna worship them?!"

⊱ ────── {⋅. ✯ .⋅} ────── ⊰

"Another story I always found very upsetting despite its importance and popularity is that of Abraham and Isaac in Genesis. I have heard it said many times that the whole point of the story is that Abraham had faith and knew God wouldn't actually force him to sacrifice his son, but even if that's true I was always so horrified by the damage that Isaac must have lived with after that."

(Genesis chapter 22)

Love this one too and it had me stumbling in the beginning when I read it. I always imagined that Issac at the time was preschool age, ignorantly following his dad for the regular offering to God. After some study, I realized this wasn't the case.

Let's remember that Abraham is ANCIENT in this instance, being over 100 years old [some of his bones probably already turned to dust. ] Issac was strong enough to carry the wood [while Abraham carried only the fire and knife] we can discern from this who is stronger. If Issac really needed to, he had the strength to fight off his dad [in a fight or flight instance, he surely would have chosen to fight and flee] Issac trusted his dad in that, "God would provide a lamb" Commentary from 'gotquestions.org' "Probably the most useful clue to how old Isaac was is Genesis 22:6. As they climb the mountain, Isaac is the one carrying the large pile of wood. Wood enough for a burnt sacrifice would have been fairly heavy. This fact tells us Isaac wasn’t a small child when he was to be sacrificed; he was at least a healthy teenager."

Remember that Abraham is known as the "Father of the faith" and having been told by God so many times that it was most definitely, undeniably Issac [his only son] who would begin the multiple descendants (vs 15-19), He trusted in that information. He knew either God really would provide an animal to sacrifice, or bring Issac back from death.

Issac went on to have great faith in God, given this, it probably didn't mean he had any sort of trauma from the trial and had trusted God through this test as well. Abraham and Issac still had a good relationship after the test as well, Abraham is seen giving his servant a mission to find a suitable wife for his son Issac (Genesis 24) and Issac gave his father an honorable burial after his death (Genesis 25).

Here's the main point, Abraham's son was spared, but not God's Son. Jesus was sacrificed on the same mountain for the sake of humanity, to save us from our transgressions. To atone for our sins, He gave Himself up, willingly. Just as I believe Issac was willing to lay in the trust of his father.

⊱ ────── {⋅. ✯ .⋅} ────── ⊰

The story of Job. I've read article upon article and Bible study upon Bible study, not to mention had multiple discussions with seasoned Christians trying to understand how the things that happened in that book could have ever been necessary or positive and I still cannot stomach it or conceive any sort of rational explanation.

Book of Job

This is a really hard one to study too because it's like,, why would God allow Satan to do this? It's another testing of faith like Abrahams's but more deep. If anything. Look at the pure evil coming from Satan and just how much he does not care for the humans, he has not relented in his evil ways even an inch. God did not kill or harm anyone, but he allowed it. Just as God today allows evil to happen in the world because if He got rid of all evil, He would have to send everyone to hell in an instant. But in this, we can clearly see who is not held back in their wicked ways. The devil is certainly not our friend.

Job's words brought me a lot of comforts when I struggle with suicidal thoughts sometimes, "The Lord gives and taketh away." and "Naked I came into this world, naked I will leave" This told me that ultimately I am not in control, but God is. It took so much stress off me to know that all I need to do is continue to trust in the Lord and He will make straight my paths, He leads me beside still waters, comforts me and cares for me.

The book of Job, I would say, is definitely for the mature Christian to dissect. Someone who's been in the faith and has tasted and seen how God the Lord is can really sink their teeth into the book of Job versus someone looking from outside a Christian worldview.

»»————-　♔　————-««

I don't claim to have all the answers, but this was definitely fun to study. Thank you for this opportunity! It's been a real blessing talking to you too, you're a delight and very polite!

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saberstars · 3 years

Text

I'm Here

Pairing: Gender Neutral Y/N & Loki

Fluff, angst, implied smut

Warnings: Mentions of depression/mental illness, epilepsy/seizures, mentions of sex, as always if I missed anything feel free to let me know

Summary: Loki & You have a pre-existing friendship with benefits & one night you have a seizure after some spiciness. He cares for you helping you afterwards & makes sure you rest easy & safe. Reader is portrayed to have seizures more so during changes in sleep phases, not awake. The wake seizures or more of a medium ish absence/ focal aware seizure that only occur on occasion & can be “fought” through.

Word Count: 1796

Notes: This was intended to be a gender neutral reader. I think I removed all he/she pronouns.

Additionally, I know that not everyone experiences seizures the same way, and that epilepsy can affect people differently. This is all written from my experiences with it, so I ask that you do not tell me I portrayed something wrong. I can and will accept constructive criticism, But I will not accept someone telling me blatantly that I am wrong with my experiences. Therefore please keep that in mind when reading. I genuinely hope this fic brings others comfort if you suffer from epilepsy or any disorder that causes seizures. Thank You <3

It’s been three years since you found out you suffered from epilepsy. A diagnosis that came late in your life to be fair. As a young child up until you reached adulthood, you suffered from eye shakes that would eventually turn into stuttering spells that made it difficult to breath or not breath properly at all. You never passed out though, you got close a few times, but you managed to stay awake and “fight it off.” You started to notice over time that you’d also get a strange taste in your mouth, almost like metal or as if you were sucking on a battery and it had that zing flavor. You knew that was a precursor and would panic on cue rightfully so. You hated when you had your mini stutter fests because all you could do was hope it didn’t happen.

Of course you complained to your parents as a child but they didn’t think it was anything. They said it was just a panic attack. So you took their word for it. That was until you started having grand mals in your sleep. At first you thought they were just a part of some strange dream, that wasn't real to you, not yet anyway. You would wake up exhausted, sore, sometimes unable to move properly, walk, open and close a fist, and you just overall couldn't stay conscious sometimes. Again you complained to your parents about it, but they said it was nothing. You probably had night terrors or some form of minor sleep paralysis. So you dumbly believed them.

When you moved out, You sought answers, and eventually got them. You were grateful. The medication they prescribed helped tremendously though, it did make you tired but it was worth not having your episodes. Thankfully your case wasn’t as severe as others and it was manageable so long as you took care of yourself and took your medications. Though you were warned, breakthroughs were common, and missing your dose can and would cause a seizure.

Despite having such a diagnosis, you kept it to yourself. You never really told anyone. It wasn’t until you started sleeping with a friend, that you finally divulged your secret too in the event that it ever happened whilst they were with you.

It was someone you randomly slept with on and off with. A friend with benefits, his name was Loki. You had met the god shortly after his father had passed and his home, destroyed. You found comfort with each other despite it being more of a sexual comfort. You both used sex as a way to fight your own demons, a distraction, a quick grab at serotonin. Despite the sex you both developed a very deep friendship. You’d read together on occasion, have very interesting debates on current events, history, as well as other nuances, and a lot of other things. You even met his brother and the avengers at one point.

You both slept soundly after spicy events had taken place 2 hours prior, Loki had come over desperate for attention of any kind. He didn’t say why, but you knew it was a rather serious topic he wished not to discuss and rather lessen the pain with ecstasy. Little did you know, on this day a few years ago he indirectly murdered his mother. He blamed himself dearly, he knew if he would have kept his mouth shut for once in his life she may be here today. So he needed a genuine distraction. One of any kind. Preferable you. Due to the spicy events that took place you missed your dose, due to falling asleep promptly after, which cost you dearly. Missing doses always caused this to happen no matter what.

You gasped for air like usual, your body contorting outwards first with a thrust. You were awake, conscious, and terrified for the few seconds you normally were given before blacking out. You began to stutter violently all the air leaving your lungs as it happened. Until no sounds were made and it was just you chattering. Loki woke immediately, with a completely calm exterior despite a raging mixture of emotions internally. He knew you never called an ambulance for these things because you were normally alone & unaware until you became conscious again. She made him promise to never call 911 unless it was over a certain time length, to save her medical expenses, or unless she stopped breathing for good.

Loki dare not touch you though as you shook and curled up. The last thing he wanted was his godly strength to crush you somehow or cause you more pain. Instead he watched and hovered until you finally stopped. It was a short 50 second one, which was under your time limit, but he still debated calling. It’s not like You would’ve known he lied.

His breathing hitched as he went to check your pulse and airway, ever so delicately, which were both clear and strong.

“Oh thank you.” he whispered

A few hours had slid by with still no response from you. Loki sat next to you, staring down at you, to the point where he would fight the urge to blink, waiting for a stir of some kind from you. He did give the courtesy of redressing you though, in a nightgown from a drawer after an hour slid past. He even went as far as ensuring that you were adequately covered by the blankets to avoid being chilled. It has been 3 ½ hours now, with no stir of any kind from you. He knew it would be awhile before you showed any signs of movement possibly but this worry tore him to his core. In the midst of waiting he refused to just idly go back to sleep next to you, he was determined to stay awake until you were conscious again, so that you knew, he stayed there waiting for you. Loki didn’t know when he found himself talking to you as if you were awake, but all he knew was that it made him feel a bit better, and he hoped that when you woke it would make you feel better too.

“You know, I’ve been reading this really dumb gothic romance novel. I think you’d like it because of how naive the girl is. I know you like to criticize and pick on how they make decisions.” he spoke with a chuckle in his voice thinking back to how you’d flail your arms and drop your book to scream about how dumb some main protagnist could be.

“I'll have to buy you a copy or give you mine when I’m done.” Loki shifted his weight from his right to his left brushing your bangs out of your eyes.

“I don’t know why you keep those so long, all they do is get in the way of your gorgeous eyes.”

It was in that moment you rustled, you shifted your neck ever so slightly, Your eyelids twitch. Loki leaned forward parting his lips as he watched with a heart of hope completely overwhelmed with joy when he saw the color of your iris’s. He exhaled a shaky breath cupping your cheeks which caused you to flinch sending a wave of shocks through your body. It was at that moment you knew. You knew what he saw, what he had gone through. Your heart sank and you immediately berated yourself internally despite your exhausted state.

“It’s ok you don’t have to say or do anything. I’ll stay, I’ll take care of you for as long as you need.” Loki assured you, wanting you to know that you didn’t have to go through this alone. You never really had anyone stay, let alone worry about you. Your eyes began to water as tears rolled down your face.

“I’ll go grab you some water, you’re probably parched. I’ll also grab you a banana. I read that potassium can help with the cramping.” Loki said leaving to yourself for a moment. He also grabbed tissues for your eyes and nose just in case. Upon returning her placed everything at your side offering help to sit up. “Do you need to use the bathroom or help sitting up?” He asked with a gentle tone.

You nodded trying to take a good deep breath so you could speak a bit. “I’m so sorry you had to see that… but thank you. Thank you for staying, for helping. I do need the bathroom and I would appreciate help. My legs are still...” you mustered out with all your might but after a point your tongue refused to work with you.

“Of course, I may be a monster but I’m not entirely cruel. If it helps… you can just think to yourself and I can listen that way. So that you're not struggling too much.” Loki admitted with a tone of self depreciation.

“You're not a monster just because you're different & have made mistakes.” you thought as Loki picked you up bridal style walking you to the bathroom. Of course he placed you down on the toilet and waited outside for you to do what you needed. Since he had only added a nightgown to your previously naked body it made things easier. It was exhausting to just sit up and do everything but you pushed through. You even pushed yourself up and limped to the sink best you could to wash your hands. Upon hearing the faucet though Loki came back in standing behind you offering support if needed.

“Catch me~” you thought before falling back into his arms with a snort.

“You're lucky I have godlike reflexes you minx.” He replied with a hint of flirtation. You had used more than you had in you to wash your hand. Loki caught you obviously and carried you back to the room placing you back on the bed. “No, more like I knew you were ready to catch me.” you slowly thought as exhaustion tugged at your consciousness again. Loki noticed the pill bottle on your dresser before prompting you to take it. Instinctively opening it and sliding one into his hand.

“You should probably take this before you fall asleep.” You took it mentally saying thanks drinking the glass of water with it.

“Yeah that would probably help avoid some added breakdancing.” You joked trying to use humor to lighten the situation. Loki stared plain faced trying not to entertain your joke though, despite finding it secretly witty. Maybe he’d laugh at it when you felt a bit better. Soon after you began to dance between awake and sleep. Loki took note based on how your thoughts jumbled around between multiple things, laughing to himself a bit before minor intrusive fears began picking at you. Loki immediately jumped into action in an attempt to squash them soothing you a bit.

“You can sleep soundly, please get some rest. You don’t have to force yourself to stay awake out of fear or guilt.” Loki spoke in the most caring and sweet tone he could muster up. Trying to convince you that it was going to be ok & it worked. Somehow you knew he was right & that you could trust him completely. You drifted back to sleep peacefully thinking about how for the first time in your life, you didn’t fear sleeping in your bed. You didn’t have intrusive thoughts about whether or not you’d wake up in the morning or not. Which honestly brought tears bubbling their way up and out of Loki's eyes. The amount of trust you had in him in your thoughts, at that moment completely took his breath away. And that was something he wasn’t going to break or ever lose.

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mashep23 · 3 years

Text

Blame it on the Rain

Pairing: Steve Rogers x Female!Reader

Word Count: 2.1k

Summary: Modern!AU. A surprise rainstorm changes the course of your day.

Warnings: Like one cuss word? Pure fluff

A/N: My endless thanks and love to: the incredible @river-soul for her beta work and guidance, and the wonderful @whisperlullaby for her support and feedback. 💖💖💖

Disclaimer: image not mine

Oh no. You groan in dismay. The skies open and fat rain droplets splatter darkly onto your clothes and coat as you dash down the sidewalk. You spot cover ahead and dart directly to the storefront with a blissfully wide awning.

You gracelessly slide under the shelter of the canopy, your haste for cover hindering your ability to slow down. Your flats abruptly catch traction on a patch of dry pavement and you pitch forward. Barely managing to stay upright, you have just a moment to breathe in relief when you're jostled from behind. Stumbling slightly from the jolt, you feel hands on your hips steady you from behind as you hear a man's voice swear quietly.

"Oh shit - er, shoot, sorry - I didn't realize you'd stopped! Are you okay?"

You're both breathless and laughing softly as you step apart. You take a moment to straighten your jacket and hitch your bag higher onto your shoulder, reassuring him before you even turn around.

"Oh gosh, yes I'm fine, thanks. Are you...okay…" Your voice trails off as you turn and face a broad chest, eyes travelling up and up. Good heavens. What were you saying? You blink to focus, your eyes taking in a startlingly handsome face before your brain catches up and you rush to cover your faltering speech.

"H-here let me move underneath a little more so you have some room," you offer as you shift to stand deeper under the awning.

He grins in thanks, following you under the canopy, and stepping further away from the rain dripping overhead from the edge. He looks down to check his clothing, running his fingers through his hair in an attempt to smooth it after your sudden, albeit gentle, collision. You follow his gaze down, realizing he's dressed in some kind of uniform under his open coat, and you have to make yourself look away before he notices your stare.

"Sorry for almost causing you to fall, but thanks for catching me," you say after a moment, smiling as you chance a sideways glance at him. He's mid-peek, looking in your direction too and you catch his eyes, a surge of warmth filling you at his sheepish expression.

He clears his throat before replying, "I saw you make a break for it so I followed you. I should have been paying more attention." He gives a self-deprecating huff and shakes his head, shoving both hands into the pockets of his jacket. "I'm the one who needs to apologize for almost knocking you down."

"No need, honest. It’s all good." You deny sweetly, reassuring him.

You're rewarded with a cute half grin and you have to purse your lips to keep your smile small as you look out through the raindrops. You both stand there in a companionable silence, watching the street as the world seems to slow down.

It's soothing, relaxing, and makes you feel peaceful. Soon, you’re taking slow deep inhales of the fresh, clean air and enjoying the experience, feeling the tension ease from your shoulders. You hear a quiet, measured exhale from your companion and you both seem to realize at the same time that you’re doing the same thing. You share a shy grin before quickly looking away.

You spend the next couple minutes surreptitiously exchanging sideways glances with him, trying your best to make it seem like a natural move. You’re feeling ridiculously obvious, constantly biting your lip to contain your smile when you get caught looking. At the same time, however, if you’re getting caught then that means he was looking too...right? You're giddy at the thought and take one last long deep breath as you notice the rainstorm begin to lighten.

When the rain slows to a light misting sprinkle, as much as you’d like to be brave and say something to him - introduce yourself, anything - you lose your nerve. Sighing inwardly at yourself, you start preparing to set out from under the safety of the canopy. Pulling up the collar on your jacket and securing your bag to your shoulder, you smile and bid him farewell.

"Looks like it's letting up - better make the most of the break!" You say chipperly. "Thanks for keeping me company."

You give a small wave before heading down the sidewalk. He returns your wave and gives a small nod, a slight furrow to his brow, but otherwise a friendly expression on his face. As you turn away, you can't help but think maybe you should say something else, something to prompt another smile from him, just once more. Feeling a tiny rush of confidence and holding onto that feeling, you turn suddenly and call back to him.

"I hope you have a great day!" You allow yourself a moment to truly admire and appreciate the stunning smile you get in response. He really is just too pretty.

His lips spread a little wider before he returned the sentiment with a sincere, "Thank you! I hope you do too!"

You knew, just knew, that your answering smile was blinding, but you couldn't have toned it down if you tried. In an attempt to seem less obvious (moot point, really), you give him a quick nod before turning and heading back down the sidewalk.

You can't deny you have a little bit more pep in your step as you make your way to your meeting. As you come up to the company entrance, you pause to look through your bag, checking to make sure your portfolio is still dry. As you shift the bag back onto your shoulder, you feel something snag and pull on your jacket.

Your brow scrunches in a frown as you use your hand to try to correct the fabric, wondering what you could be caught on. Looking down as you pull your bag away from your body, you hear something hit the pavement. What the…?

After a quick glance around your feet and then behind you, you see an identification badge laying on the ground. As you stoop to retrieve it for further inspection, you realize you had inadvertently taken a souvenir from your fellow shelter-seeker under the canopy.

His handsome face looks solemnly back at you from what is obviously his work badge. Stark Technologies emblazoned across the top, S. Rogers under his photograph, SECURITY is in large print along the bottom.

He must have been headed to work! Oh man, he's gonna need this. You check your watch. There's no time. You'll have to return it to him after your meeting. Standing up and stashing the badge safely into your pocket, you enter the beautiful brick building to attend your meeting.

Luckily it's brief, your client wants to peruse the contents of your portfolio with his financial team before contacting you to finalize details. Expecting this, you graciously thank him for his consideration and within a half hour, you've concluded your meeting and are striding toward Stark Technologies. The trek isn't more than a few blocks, so you decide to walk it and enjoy the sun filtering through the clouds, the rainy morning a distant memory.

When you enter The Tower, you have to take a moment to get your bearings. Looking up and around, it's easy to spot the gleaming information desk positioned in the center of the bustling lobby. As you approach, you think of how you're going to phrase your request. Not wanting to get him into trouble for not having his badge, especially as a part of the security staff, you decide to just ask to speak to him.

The pleasant lady behind the desk sends you a sweet smile as she speaks into the phone to relay your request. After a quiet exchange, she directs you to a cozy waiting area situated to the side of the bank of elevators.

You sit stiffly on the edge of a plush couch and admire the décor as you wait. The building interior is predominantly glass, making the whole space appear larger, but also quite bright and open. You've got a silly smile on your face, thinking about the amount of Windex they must go through, when a throat clearing pulls you back to the present.

"Well, hello again."

You startle and stand quickly, flustered as you turn to face him. You watch his eyes flick down to your feet then back up to your face, a pleasant and patient smile in place. You lick your lips, trying to settle your nerves.

"Hi! Uh, so I know it probably seems odd that I'm here but um, I actually have something of yours. Came to return it - figured you might need this." You give him what you hope is a winning smile before reaching into your pocket and withdrawing the lost item. Your eyes stay on the badge in your fingers as you hold it out to him.

"Oh! Hey, thank you!" He takes the badge gently from you, fingertips brushing yours. When you finally lift your gaze, you find him grinning boyishly. He swiftly fastens his ID to his crisp shirt, completing his uniform.

You give him an appreciative once over and murmur a quiet, "You're welcome," as he continues.

"You know, you just saved me from so much paperwork and hoops to jump through to replace this stupid thing. Where did you find it?"

"It was stuck to me," you share with a laugh.

His eyebrows shoot up in surprise, an open mouthed grin in place. Shaking your head and shrugging one shoulder, you continue.

"It must have happened when we bumped into each other. I wanted to get it back to you as soon as I realized I had it but I had to make my meeting first," you finish apologetically. "I hope you didn't get into trouble."

"No, not at all," he quickly assures you. "I should have noticed I didn't have it. Thank you again for bringing it to me. You didn't have to so I really appreciate it." That heartstopping smile he aimed at you was going to kill you.

You lick your lips again before you reply and notice his eyes drop to track the quick movement before flitting back up. For half a second, you suddenly feel emboldened.

"It was my pleasure, trust me." Unwilling to let the opportunity pass you by yet again, you jerk your chin toward the badge pinned to his chest and ask, "So, what does the 'S' stand for, Rogers?"

"Steve. It stands for Steve." He says, eyes crinkling as his lips spread into a wide grin. You give him your name and can't help but laugh as he holds out his hand. As you shake his hand, you both murmur, "Nice to meet you," and you're certain that you have matching delighted expressions on your faces.

You realize you've taken up a considerable amount of his time while he is on the clock and you give him a regretful smile as you release his hand.

"I'd better let you get back to it. Don't want to get you into real trouble." Quirking a corner of your mouth up, you grip the handle of your bag on your shoulder and tilt your head as you step back.

Steve starts slightly as he looks around, almost as if he'd forgotten where you both are. He looks back at you and nibbles on his lip before taking a small step closer.

"I do have to get going. But before I do...would it be too forward to ask you for your number?" He searched your face earnestly and you could swear he was holding his breath.

"Not at all. I was kinda hoping you would," you admit, beaming up at him as you hold out your hand for his phone. You draw your lip between your teeth in a slow pull, eyes travelling over his face as you wait. The look in his eye and the slow spread of his lips is slightly less boyish and a touch more sinful as he slips his phone from his pocket and hands it to you.

You enter your number into a new text thread and send yourself a simple message before relinquishing his phone back to him. You watch as he eagerly takes it back and saves your contact information. When he looks back up, he has a breathtaking smile on his face, eyes focused on yours. You have to blink a couple times to focus before drawing yourself up a little straighter to bid him goodbye.

"I expect to hear from you soon," you say confidently, smirking and winking as you turn to leave. His surprised but pleased huff of laughter makes you grin just a little bit wider when you peek back over your shoulder.

"Yes ma'am. You will." He's beaming, eyes tracking you as you give one more small wave before pushing through the door.

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Tagging my discord family:

@buckyownsmylife @sweetkingdomstarlight-blog

#steve rogers #steve rogers imagine #steve rogers fanfiction #steve rogers fluff #steve rogers x reader #steve rogers x female!reader #steve rogers x you #steve rogers x y/n #captain america #captain america fanfiction #captain america imagine #captain america fluff #captain america x reader #captain america x you #captain america x y/n #marvel fanfiction #modern!au marvel fanfiction #modern!au #velvetcardiganbucky

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jonnnysuh · 3 years

Text

Never Not - Park Jinyoung

Pairing: idol!Jinyoung x gender neutral reader

Summary: Your bad day is turned around when your childhood best friend, Jinyoung, returns to your hometown and takes you on a tour of your favourite memories together.

Genre: angst, fluff, friends to lovers

Warnings: suggested sexual experience

Word Count: 4.3k

Requested by: Anon

A/N: Hi guysssss. I took a small break from tumblr bc I got super busy with work. I haven’t written something like this in a while, but I actually loved how it turned out. I recommend listening to Never Not by Lauv to get into the mood <33

Effort was hard to make these days. Even the way you walked had an unmistakable slouch. Your exhaustive strides were just a shallow reminder that there used to be a hop in your step. Five more minutes and you were free from the shackles of work. Free to figure out what to make for dinner, and appease the gurgles of your stomach.The seconds on the point of sale system didn't seem to move fast enough as you folded the customer's final item and shoved it into a bag.

When you were a kid, no one told you how exhausting being an adult was, and thus it became something to look forward to. You were so caught up on getting that first kiss, sneaking out to go to parties, seeing people that your parents didn't approve of, that you didn't realize that life didn't slow down from there. It was like you blinked, and you were no longer 16. Instead, you were twenty-something perpetually feeling like life was just an endless pit of "what ifs" and building up the courage to make something of yourself. Another mindless "Have a good day." escaped your lips as you bid a customer bye for the nth time that day. You wondered how many of your years would waste away telling others to have a good day, when you yourself hadn't had one in a while.

You pressed your fingers against your temple to sooth a small growing headache. Working in retail for as long as you had, you knew that the s-curved line of people didn't stop for your discomfort. With a fake smile on your face, you welcomed the next few customers as your eyes wandered around the store looking for the person who was going to take over for the next hour. Fifteen minutes past the hour, your replacement finally came. Externally, you wanted to scream and ask them what took you so long? but you knew that would only make you as good as the worst customer. Graciously, you nodded at them, before walking away to the back room to fetch your things and head out.

...

You stood against the wall at the bus shelter shivering from the cool summer breeze that was disguising just how rapidly autumn was truly coming. Today probably wasn't the best day to forget your coat. You rubbed your arms for warmth, taking micro footsteps in place. The pain in your feet made you romanticize the comfort of the sturdy old bus seats as a place of rest. You felt your phone in your pocket vibrate, but you let it ring out. You were determined to get a seat on this bus. A deep sigh escaped you as you surveyed the density of the crowd on the platform- the ride home was definitely going to be longer than usual. When the bus arrived, you queued behind a long line of people. Your phone rang a second time, at this point the crowd was getting larger and you knew you weren't going to get a seat on this bus.

PRIVATE CALLER

"Hello?" you pressed your phone to your ear. Sometimes your mother used phone booths to reach you, so you expected her voice to be on the other end of the line. "I'm offended I had to call you twice for you to pick up." The voice was much deeper, and the delivery much more lighthearted than anything that would've came out of your mother. The absence of a greeting was distinct and direct, but no matter, you knew exactly who this was.

You felt the tenseness of your shoulders drop with just the sound of this voice. "If I had definitely known it was you, I wouldn't have picked up, Mr. Private caller." you jest with the phone pressed between your ear and the crook of your shoulder.

"You know, I was gonna suggest that I pick you up, but just for that comment, I change my mind."

You poke your tongue at your cheek, coyly. For all the changes that occurred in your life, for some reason you could depend on Jinyoung's quick wit and humour to hit the spot even after all this time.

"That's fine, I just finished work so I was thinking of just going home anyways." You had no idea he was even back in South Korea. Last you heard, he was on tour somewhere in North America. More than that, you couldn't even remember when the last time you actually talked was. You were curious about what he was up to these days, but you you knew any hint of urgency in your voice would lead to incessant teasing on his part. The line progressed slightly, but you still didn't feel any closer to the entrance of the bus.

"I'm about to get on a bus home."

"Well, don't get on."

"If I don't get on then you're gonna have to repay me for the fare I paid to even get here." You eyed the bus reaching its capacity, and stepped aside. You twisted your fingers in hope that he was being 100% serious, otherwise you were going to have to wait out for the 6:30pm bus.

"I can't believe the cost of your attention is only $2. Do better." the voice quipped.

"Okay, Jinyoung I guess I'll just get on, then." you threatened, although you had no intention of boarding the departing bus.

"Fine, fine. I'll pay for your fare. Just wait for me."

...

The sky had darkened tenfold since you hung up from Jinyoung's impromptu call. The streetlights glowed gold against the lavender backdrop of the sky. You sat on the bus shelter bench, swinging your feet back and forth as you waited for him. If he took even a minute longer, you vowed to somehow become the president of the Park Jinyoung hate club. Of course, you wouldn't actually, but the idea became more appealing the longer you waited.

You weren't one to go on spontaneous outings- at least not since your teenage years. Recently, you followed the strict routine of work, home, sleep, and to stray from it seemed pointless. But the fact that he even thought of you when he came back home to South Korea was still not something you could wrap your head around.

In the distance, a glow of headlights appeared, stopping perfectly adjacent to your bus stop. The window rolled down, and there appeared Jinyoung's face in all its glory. To say all the words in your vocabulary disappeared would be an understatement. A part of you doubted he would even follow through. Without missing a beat, he returned a look to you. "You just gonna stare at me, or are you gonna get in the car?"

...

Your backpack was sitting atop your lap, bouncing with the movement of the car. Jinyoung hung one hand over the steering wheel. The orange and purple of the sky twisting, and creating a brand new colour that only seemed to grace the skies at this hour. The music was unidentifiable, but the volume was low enough that you didn't even bother trying to figure it out.

"So what'd you do today?" he asked.

"I worked, I told you that." you replied, matter-of-factly.

"And how was it?"

"I honestly can't tell the difference between this week and last week. Or even last month. Same old, same old. Annoying customers, stale lunch, forgot my jacket at home even though it's 15 fucking degrees outside."

"Do you still work at that clothing store you started at when we were 20?"

Your eyes shifted, following the ever-changing scenery of the highway. No idea where he was bringing you, and yet you were brought to comfort by Jinyoung's habits. You knew he didn't have a drug deal, or a random party planned. Jinyoung was always the type to be home before midnight. He was a self-proclaimed goody-two-shoes, but you weren't completely fooled. You knew he could bend the rules if it seemed to serve him.

"That exact same one."

"Anything else?"

You looked at him, the shock settling in that he was really right next to you-- no longer just a figure on a billboard that you used to know. The changes of his physicality were subtle; his face was more defined, but his cheeks still carried the baby fat that had been there since childhood. The shadow of his facial hair loomed on his smooth skin. The mole on the top of his lip, not necessarily gone, but faded. He looked older, but the aura of his presence remained the same.

"And then I was dumb enough to get into a car with a stranger because he said he'd give me $2."

Jinyoung side eyed you, causing you to erupt in laughter. His glare was also unchanging. "Stranger? Your memory's fading already?" He shook his head disappointedly. "I thought you still had a few good years left."

"Oh yeahhhhhh. Sorry Jinyoungie. Didn't recognize you with all the fame." you pinched and pulled on his ear- both things a relic of your grade school years. When you were kids, you never let him forget the age gap. Granted, it was only 3 days, but that gave you the freedom to refer to him however you pleased, while he was stuck with the honorifics.

As you let go, the curve of his ear flushed red. "OWW.” he cried, swatting your hand away. “You’re lucky I’m driving otherwise I would pull your hair.”

Being raised with Jinyoung meant that you were inseparable but kind of in the worst way. If Jinyoung got a good mark on a test, his parents would immediately flaunt it to yours. If you wanted to sneak out, he was on your tail telling you to go back home. And if he knew you liked someone, then that person would know soon enough by the words of Jinyoung. All of that warranted ear pulling, and if you did something in retaliation he would pull your hair.

He was one of the few people in your life, who encapsulated a certain time of your life. The time in your life when you were young, and the world felt so big and everything was possible.

The car rocked back and forth as it shifted into the elevated ramp of a parking lot. Your eyes widened as you realized where you were. He lingered in his seat before popping his seatbelt off and exiting the car. You followed him, swinging the passenger door open.

"So you randomly called me because you wanted to hang out at the...convenience store?" you gestured to the old, orangey building. The bricks were chipped, and the fluorescent lights illuminated the outside through the big glass window. You remember the days when you and Jinyoung would sit on the parking blocks and split a bag of chips until you were chased off the property by the owner. He pulled on the store door, pressing his back to it and letting you enter first.

"Well, I wasn't going to come here until you started yanking my ears. That's when I knew you were hungry."

Without stopping, you weaved through the store until you reached aisle 3- the snack aisle had become a home to you and Jinyoung when you were growing up. In grade school, you were both fearful of what was beyond the boundaries of your home and school so you indulged in after school snacks at the convenience to talk about the latest happenings in your life. As you aged, it became the place of solace after exams, or the meetup location for last minute plans.

He picked up a package of gummy worms, and shook them in your face. "Do you remember what happened the last time we ate theseeee?" Jinyoung smirked. For a moment, you were taken aback by how much he had grown. In your teens, you and Jinyoung met eye to eye. Now, you felt like you had to look up at him in order to be taken seriously.

You crossed your arms, "Yeah, we ate them in the parking lot and you made me confess who I had a crush on."

"Chan, right?"

You nodded, with a sulk as you reminisced. "That wasn't fair."

"Why? Do you still have a crush on him?"

"I haven't thought about him in so long. You really think I'd have a lingering crush on a guy I haven't seen in years?"

Jinyoung shrugged, and shifted his feet. "You had a huge crush on him, though. You even stared at him like this." He rested his palm to his cheek, letting out a deep sigh while trying to maintain an enamoured expression. You snorted, hitting him on the chest. "You'd write his name all over your notebooks AND you bullied me into giving you one of my new ones." he added.

You let out a belly laugh. "And then I wrote his name all over that one too."

Jinyoung rolled his eyes. "They were premium quality notebooks. My aunt sent me them from the states!"

"You had a kabillion of them. Besides, you pestered me for-like-ever to know who I liked, but you never even told me who you had a crush on." You grabbed the bag of gummy worms from his hand and placed it in your shopping basket. Your attention shifted, as you realized you should be in search of your favourite chocolates. You knew that you were far too old to be eating junk food for dinner, but there was something familiar about being hyped up on food that you knew would rot your insides. Your eyes landed on the top row of the wall, and before you could grab your favourite chocolates, Jinyoung stripped it from the wall and dropped it into the basket. He piled on a bag of sour cream and onion chips, and then you both ventured to the drink refrigerators.

Both of you stared deeply at your drink options. On each level of the fridge, stood several different colourful drinks. If you knew Jinyoung, then you knew he would pick a Coke- it was something he swore by in your younger years. You hummed, mentally deciding between an iced tea or a vitamin water. You weren't sure why it bothered you when Jinyoung picked up a Sprite, but you tried to hide your dismay. With an ice tea in hand, and a basket full of both of your favourite things, you made your way to the cashier.

At the last moment, Jinyoung placed a bright yellow umbrella on the checkout counter. He looked down at you, surely, “You never know when it’s gonna rain.”

...

The following car ride to your next destination only lasted about 3 minutes before he parked on the side of the road and dragged you down the street, with the plastic bag full of your foods in hand.

"I should've known you were going to bring me here." you said, strolling down the familiar gravel pathway towards your elementary school. All colour in the sky had disappeared now, finding it hard to see anything but the outline of each other and some features.

Both of you settled on the grass field, onlooking the tall school building that was the foundation of your formal years. As soon as you opened the bag of chips, you found yourselves deep in conversation, talking about what life had been for him the last few years. You couldn't help but be in awe when he explained the rush he got when he got on stage, and how he got anxiety when he thought he wasn’t doing his best. The candidacy of his thoughts drew you in and you were surprised that he trusted you with his secrets.

All these years, you had always wondered what he was up to, if he was living a life far better than the one he left at home. To everyone else, he was this huge pop star that had travelled the world 3 times over, but to you, he was your best friend who left home at 16. You had seen him through the bad hair phases, the adolescent temper tantrums, the voice cracks, and the questionable fashion choices both your parents had put you in.

He leaned back on his arms as he gazed at the school. "Are you afraid of change?" You were silent for a moment as you thought. "On a scale of 1-10?" you rocked your head back and forth. "It's a 15."

Jinyoung raised his eyebrows. You held your legs to your chest, and looked at him. "Why?"

He opened his mouth, but quickly closed it and looked smugly in the other direction. "Heyyy." you poked him repeatedly. "You can't just ask me that and not tell me why."

He enclosed his hand around your finger, forcing your poking to come to a halt. It felt like he was studying your face. Never in your life had you ever felt like you were under the scope of Jinyoung's gaze. The darkness of the sky acted as a mask, hiding your blushing face.

"It was the last thing I asked you before I left." he admitted. "I asked you that when things were about to change big time for us… I always wondered if you resented me for leaving you behind."

The last day before Jinyoung left to become a full-time trainee, you two snuck on to this very same field. Both of you ran across the grass, picking up dandelions; believing that if you gathered enough and blew on them, that they would fuel your wishes.

“You thought I could resent you?” He nodded. “Well, for starters, I hate your guts.” You replied sarcastically, causing him to look at the ground with embarrassment and your face softened at the sight of it.

“You know what I wished for on all of those dandelions, Jinyoung?”

“Not to fail the math exam.” Even in a soft moment, he couldn’t help but be sly. “No!” You exclaimed.

“Well, you should’ve. You got a 48.” He sensed your killer look on him. “So what’d you wish for?”

You played with your fingers. You thought you’d take this secret to the grave. “I wished that you’d be successful in whatever you chose to do.” His eyes enlarged, alarmed at your confession. “but maybe I should’ve wished for the math thing.”

Jinyoung giggled, inching closer to you so your legs were pressed against each other.

“What did you wish for?” You asked. He smiled with the side of his mouth, shaking his head.

“I wished that I’d always find my way back home.” “Oh goddd.” You gagged. “you’re so corny.”

“What about you, huh? You used your wish on me!” he bellowed, his voice echoing against the school playground.

“Hey, I might just be the reason why you’re famous.” You fought back.

You flipped your phone over, 7:53, the brightness of it only barely illuminating the dark. You thought about what you would be doing at this moment if you weren’t here, if he hadn’t picked you up. Mmm probably falling asleep to a tv show. Probably dreading tomorrow. Probably not as happy.

"But what did I say? You know… the first time you asked me that question?” You couldn’t even begin to imagine how 16-year-old you answered.

"You said you were excited to see who we were going to become.” The words of your younger self were so hopeful, yet your current self felt hopeless. Your expression sank, and Jinyoung offered a small smile to revive it. He felt guilty having asked you the question in the first place.

You sat in silence for a bit, dwelling on the excitement for life that you once had. Where was it? And how could you get it back?

“I feel like I’ve let myself down. I don’t even know who I am now.”

Jinyoung blinked slowly, watching his childhood best friend crumble. He rested a hand on your shoulder. "I just look at you, and in so many ways you're the same. I still know what makes you laugh, and the way you say things. I can still pick out your favourite snacks, and know you’re gonna pull my ears when I do something to piss you off.” he yanked on yours softly. "Everything about you feels just how I left you. I feel my youth when I'm with you. But at the same time I’m comforted by how much you’ve changed.”

“I don’t think I’ve changed much.”

“You don’t see it, do you?” You shook your head no. “Do you remember how scared you were to even leave the house when we were kids? Now you live on your own. You never took anything seriously back then, but you’re now one of the hardest working people I know…” his voice softened. “And you let yourself be vulnerable with me when it used to take hours to drag it out of you.” You laid on his shoulder, and he rested his head on top of yours, snuggling closer. “You fear change, yet you’re changing right before your own eyes. And maybe one day, I’ll come back here, and I won’t even be able to recognize who you’ve become.” You sniffled, the idea of Jinyoung not remembering you broke your heart. You held your chest. “But if that day does come, it’ll be okay. Because I know that the person that you’ve become will have it all figured out. I’ll always be rooting for every single version of yourself even if it doesn’t include me.” You sobbed quietly, interlocking your fingers with his. He held your hand tightly, rubbing his thumb against the back of your hand. For once, there was an action not done out of habit or relic. It was an action evoked just for this moment, and it was a change that you didn’t mind.

…

Jinyoung held your hand, leading you down a narrow road a few minutes away. The sound of crickets, barking dogs, and distant vehicles could be heard as you stood in the middle of the road of your childhood neighbourhood.

You hadn’t been here since you moved in 2016. You looked up at the large modern house that sat on what used to be two lots. Yours and Jinyoung’s childhood homes were purchased by a wealthy business man and demolished to build the business man’s dream home. You stared at the foreign house that sat on the place of your childhood dreams and frustrations.

Jinyoung placed his hands on your shoulders and stopped you at the exact halfway point between what was once his house and your house. You rubbed your arms as a gust of wind rushed by. Without thinking, Jinyoung slipped off his hoodie and placed it on top of your shoulders.

“I remember racing you down this street.” You piped up, pointing down the end of the road. Jinyoung always won that race. No one was faster than him on this street.

“I remember finding that stray puppy and fighting over who got to keep it.” He responded.

“It should’ve been me.” You bickered. Jinyoung laughed, amused at how you were always one to hold a grudge.

“Do you remember that day when it started raining soooo hard and we had to walk shoulder to shoulder under my umbrella?”

You nodded. “Ya, that was the same day with the gummy worms, you dummy.”

“So do you remember what happened right here?” He pointed at the exact spot you were standing. You racked your head for a memory, but nothing stood out to you clearly. You shook your head no. “We always said bye to one another here...but…?” you trailed off.

He took a step forward, both of you standing directly under the streetlight now. You watched his face light up as he likely played the moment back in his head. “So that day, standing under my umbrella, we were about to go our separate ways. You turned into me.”

He took another step closer, popping open the bright yellow convenience store umbrella and holding it over your heads.

You could see it now. It was drizzling so hard, even your hair wasn’t protected from getting soaked. You wrapped your hands around the handle, just like how you did back then. Chest to chest, huddled under the umbrella. Jinyoung locked eyes with you, your heart beat faster.

“And you looked at me, and I swear I was going to say everything I wanted to tell you right then and there.” Your mouth opened in shock. “This was the place where I almost told you I loved you.”

You studied the eyes of the boy you watched grow up. He looked scared, but sure. There was no doubt in your mind that Jinyoung meant what he said. He lowered the umbrella, not letting his gaze veer from you.

Your life was just a build up of what if’s and trying to gain the courage to make something of yourself… but you didn’t want that anymore. With your heart beating out of control, you leaned into him, taking the risk and kissing his lips. He wrapped his arms around your waist, deepening the heat of the kiss.

A round of thunder boomed above you, and little by little, raindrops began to pour from the sky.

You and Jinyoung separated to look up at the sky. “I did say, you never know when it’s gonna rain.”

You both ran for the car, shoulder to shoulder, under the umbrella. From your heads to your toes, you were soaked in the rain, but neither of you cared. You silently thanked the world for every bad thing that happened to you today that led to this.

…

You blinked your eyes awake, surveying the damp clothes strewn across your living room floor, and the heat of the bare body laying next to you on the couch. You stared at your sleepy childhood best friend, a smile spreading across your lips. This was a change you were ready for.

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jackson--t · 3 years

Text

🎃 Spooktober 🎃

Bloody Boneless - Pt. I

Welcome to my favourite time of the year and my month of spooky stuff! I will create some short spooky stories - if you want to join me, feel free to tag me! 🎃

Summary: Heahmund talks about old sagas and legends in his classes - and tries one game out for himself at home. With a frightening result that makes his blood run cold...

Words: 2.6 k (AO3? Here.)

Spooky Friends (so far): @youbloodymadgenius @jadelynlace (if you want to be tagged, feel free to send me a DM or stuff!) 🖤

Heahmund looked around at his students and grinned a little; his bright eyes wandered over the curious eyes of the teens, who were all talking; some were already coming forward to share their ideas and stories.

It was October, and it wasn't long until Halloween; Heahmund had specifically chosen the last history lessons to get into a little spooky subject matter, about ghosts and folklore, about old tales and myths, and things you'd tell yourself if you wanted to scare someone. Outside, the rain pattered against the window, and the class had been decked out in autumnal red for several weeks, decorated with collected leaves and chestnuts. Heahmund grinned for a moment, then pointed to a student.

"Anna?"

"When I was a child, my mother told me that witches could be found in many bushes and along roadsides. We had a bush in our backyard back then, and it was so opaque that you could only ever make out black structures that looked so spooky..."

"And you must have been afraid of it?" Heahmund said, and Anna nodded.

"Who knows any more sagas? Does anyone maybe know games that involve old Halloween traditions?" Heahmund asked to the group, and several students came forward.

"Tim."

"My big sister once got a Ouija board with her friends on Halloween, and they... tried to call a dead friend through the board. They've never touched it since. She told me things moved around the room and the lights suddenly went out," Tim recounted; several girls in the room looked at each other aghast and began whispering excitedly, while Heahmund pressed his lower back against the desk.

"Stories like that scare you, of course, but it can also be fantasy. There are so many ancient legends and customs that, because of their history, already grasp the origins of fear. For example, the superstition that you should never look in the mirror at the stroke of midnight," he explained, and the teenagers fell silent; they looked at their history teacher intently.

"Why not?" Irina asked, and Heahmund grinned slightly.

"They say it makes you see your inner monster, or your inner witch. There are various games you can try in the dark, but they mostly play with your seventh sense, or simply your perception. The basic idea of fear plays a central role in this. Does anyone know of anything else?"

It took a moment, but then suddenly, quite hesitantly, a finger lifted from the back row; Heahmund's eyes met the shy Natalie, who always spoke very little, even though she had good grades. The others did not like her so much; however, to Heahmund she was a nice girl who was just a little quiet. He nodded to her with a smile; she looked around shyly, then said softly, "You told us once about the Vikings, and about their age. I know a saga about it."

Heahmund raised his eyebrows; he had always loved the subject of Vikings and didn't even know until now that there were customs here, too - or at least ghost stories that the young people told each other. "Really? Ah, very nice! Of course, when someone includes real history, it's always exciting. Tell us more, Nathalie!"

Nathalie hesitated for a moment; her fingers buried in her sweater.

"You told us about Ragnar Lothbrok and his sons back then. And I know a... legend. It says that at the stroke of midnight you are supposed to stand in front of the mirror, and if you... well, if you say Bloody Boneless three times, the Viking tyrant Ivar the Boneless will appear in the mirror."

Heahmund felt a slight chill run down his spine; he had gone over the subject very carefully with the students, and he was fascinated by how much had stuck with her; he looked at her for a moment, then asked, "Have you ever tried it?"

She shook her head vigorously. "No, I wouldn't do it either. The stories about him are too scary for me."

"With Bloody Mary, after all, the legend goes much the same way, except she pokes your eyes out. What do you think Ivar the Boneless does, Nathalie?" Heahmund said; the class watched intently as Nathalie bit her lower lip softly.

"They say that he... that he kills you. With an object he finds on you." she whispered; for a moment, icy chills ran through the class, and the abrupt ringing of the bell elicited a cry from some; Heahmund laughed.

"All's well, we'll see each other again on Wednesday. Until then, please read up on the customs about the Salem Witches' Night and do assignment 10 on it."

Heahmund waited until the class was completely empty; he smiled at the students, then scratched his chin lightly. Ghost stories, what nonsense. Of course, he knew none of these things were true; even though he loved seeing the shocked faces of the teenagers.

Bloody Boneless, what a nonsense....

§---§---§

It was late in the evening when Heahmund stood in front of the mirror in his bathroom; for a moment he looked at his dark hair, and then got his toothbrush ready. The clock on his shelf showed just before midnight; so, he still had some time.

Something on the back of his neck prickled as he brushed his teeth and walked slowly up and down the hallway; the rain was still casting gloomy shadowy shapes on the windows in his house, and the wind was clearly audible. If he wasn't mistaken, he had also heard a thunderstorm coming from a safe distance - a terribly cozy autumn night that he was about to end with a good book in his bed. Yet he still carried his student's words from today in his ear; that strange story about Ivar the Boneless.

Heahmund had devoted much of his studies to the Viking field, and it was still his favorite part of history. Perhaps he could joke with the children and pretend that the story about the mirror was true. He was sure that the teenagers - at least a couple of them - would not be able to sleep for nights if Heahmund continued Nathalie's story. He grunted softly in amusement before standing back in the bathroom and washing out his mouth.

When he lifted his head, the clock read 11:59 p.m., and Heahmund fixed his bright eyes on the mirror; his own reflection was staring back at him, albeit still with a somewhat wet beard. As the digital clock read midnight, Heahmund exhaled deeply. His hands clawed tightly into the porcelain of the basin, and he said softly in his deep voice:

"Bloody Boneless."

Once, and the rain whipped harder against the window; it was nothing unusual, for the storm had been predicted. Heahmund snorted softly; he felt a little crazy and silly, but he took another breath and said:

"Bloody Boneless."

Far away in the dark of the night there was a low rumbling; but the storm was still too far away for Heahmund to hear it clearly. Nothing happened; Heahmund grinned slightly at his own image in the mirror, and then quietly muttered a third:

"Bloody Boneless."

It happened all of a sudden; the lights in the bathroom began to flicker all at once, and with a ripping thunderclap, it abruptly went dark; just once, the light of the bathroom mirror still flickered on, causing Heahmund to let out a scream.

For a millisecond, the gruesomely contorted face of an angry young man had appeared in it, that undoubtedly belonged to Ivar the Boneless. But the lights came back on, and Heahmund stared perplexedly into the mirror; his hands trembled, and he wore white marks on his knuckles, so tightly had he clutched at the basin. When his bright eyes fell on the mirror again, he could see only his own face in it. No trace of that grimace.

Heahmund exhaled deeply and ran his hand over his forehead, shivering slightly; it was just as he himself had said in his lessons: the brain knew it was seeing something, and imagined it. The thunder had been a coincidence, of course, and had contributed to that brief anxiety -but it had been a horrible experience.

"Amazing, a brain like that.", Heahmund muttered to himself, slightly breathless, before turning off the bathroom light and turning towards the hallway. Just for a brief moment, for the fragile blink of an eye, he imagined that he saw a black, crooked shadow in the mirror that clearly could not belong to him. But it could just have been the shower curtain.

Heahmund hurried to get to the bedroom; the mirrors in the hallway suddenly didn't seem so trustworthy, especially since a bright flash additionally illuminated the hallway. Heahmund had never really been the fearful type; never. He didn't believe in ghosts and stories; he believed in the measurable reality of people. But this experience had given even him a deep goose bump on the back of his neck that he couldn't shake off. When he arrived in the bedroom, he closed the door behind him; the hallway was silent, however, as he took one last look inside before turning out the light there as well.

He had another mirror in the bedroom that he had a good view of; normally he loved it, especially for certain evenings; but now a strange feeling came over him. He looked at the mirror slightly critically, and yet decided against taking it down - he wasn't that anxious now. Everything was explainable, really everything. The blackout, the flickering, even his hallucination. There was nothing to worry about or be afraid of.

He turned on the small light on his nightstand and leaned back against the end of the bed; he covered himself lightly and began reading his book. He loved this atmosphere while reading; there was a storm outside, and he was inside with a book in a warm bed, and he didn't even have to get up early tomorrow, since he didn't have class until the last period. He enjoyed such evenings very much; only sometimes he felt lonely.

The house was only blanketed by the sound of rain and thunderstorms; however, as Heahmund was turning a page, his eyes caught something out of the corner of his eye. It was a dark movement, a quick, barely visible movement, but it shot up the back of Heahmund's neck so quickly and tinglingly that he could not have imagined it.

His gaze went up to the mirror; it was still standing there motionless, and nothing but the room was reflected in it; this weather was playing tricks on his eyes, he was sure of it. And those damn children's stories. He shouldn't have done that shit with the mirror.

Heahmund averted his eyes again; he continued to read in silence when suddenly he heard an unfamiliar noise - it sounded like something hitting the ground sharp and hard, like some kind of knife or axe; but it was almost too heavy for that. Heahmund raised his head and stared around the room, but he could see nothing; yet he could have sworn that this strange sound had come directly from his room. He wrinkled his nose slightly; the sound appeared again, only this time it was ten times louder. And it was almost as if a dark shadow was creeping out from under the doorframe....

Heahmund jumped out of bed. Maybe it was a burglar! He went towards the door, saw exactly the strange shadows on the wooden floor, which looked as if someone with crutch was standing in front of the door - his neck tingled wildly, and he suppressed the fantasy in his head - when with a sudden movement he tore open the door.

"Ha!" he cried; but there was no one in the hall. Heahmund stared open-mouthed into the hallway, and then at the floor - the shadow was gone. He took a deep breath in and out, as he closed the door behind him with a soft sound. He needed to calm down, his imagination was starting to run away with him. It was nothing more than a scary fairy tale that teenagers told each other at their Halloween parties.

When he turned around, however, his body suddenly froze.

He couldn't move an inch even if he wanted to; his muscles seemed frozen, frozen like an icy body in deepest winter. His mouth was slightly open, and yet neither words nor air came out to breathe; for his bright eyes fell on the mirror.

There, in jet-black leather armor, leaning on a pointed, metal crutch, stood a young man with the brightest, bluest eyes Heahmund had ever encountered. He simply stood there in the mirror, no one in front of it, staring motionless in Heahmund's direction; his dark hair was braided in Viking splendor, and his face revealed that he had been through a lot; a small but legendary scar adorned the young man's face.

It took a while for Heahmund's body to release its rigidity; he took a deep shocked breath, and stared in disbelief at the image in the mirror. It was as if frozen; the young Viking in it did not move a bit, but only stared stubbornly in Heahmund's direction. It looked like a statue; Heahmund dared to come a little closer and walked with slow steps towards the large mirror.

A flash of lightning lit up the room, and the rumble of thunder gave the whole thing an impossibly creepy atmosphere. Although Heahmund's body was wrapped in icy cold and thick goose bumps, he walked forward until he was standing right in front of the mirror; the young man was a little shorter than him and stood slightly bent over by his crutch. But he did not move, not even when Heahmund touched the cold pane of the mirror with a slight swallow.

"You're not real. This isn't real. I'm dreaming.", Heahmund muttered darkly; the mirror felt normal, and nothing moved except for the flashes in the background.

It had to be a bad joke. Maybe someone had traded his mirror for a TV? Maybe this was a show? Those damn kids...

Heahmund hissed softly as he looked around the room; but he could see no cameras in the corners, and no feet or anything behind the curtains. There was nothing there...

He turned his gaze back to the mirror; still the young man stood there, but his eyes had changed direction. They were staring Heahmund right in the face now, and Heahmund had to swallow hard against his own horrible fear. He took his fingers away from the cool glass, and stared at the Viking as well.

"You are not real, Ivar the Boneless," Heahmund said darkly.

And suddenly, with the bright light of a flash of lightning and the cruel, violent thunder of the thunderstorm close by, he moved; the face moved jerkily, and his jaw cracked slightly before bright white teeth showed, looking almost like sharp knives in the flash of the thunderstorm; the corners of the young man's mouth lifted, and the bright eyes stared at him like the devil's face made flesh.

„dauði, Kristr.“ A high-pitched, strangely soft, yet scratchy voice shattered the silence of the bedroom, mixed with cruel cracking sounds; and Heahmund froze to ice again.

He took a shaking step back, but his eyes caught perfectly how the pointed end of the crutch pressed against the mirror from inside, and a thousand shards suddenly pattered on the floor; and with a firm and sweeping pulling motion, Ivar the Boneless pulled himself out of the mirror, incarnate.

„dauði, Kristr.“ - "Die, Christian." (correct me if it's wrong!)

#vikings #ivar the boneless #fanfic #ivar lothbrok #spooktober #spooky #heahmund

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animeyanderelover · 3 years

Text

Another person who wanted to stay anonymous. Angelina deserved better😢.

Request: 41 with Madame Red please?

Tw: Yandere themes, unhealthy mindset, unhealthy relationship, pregnancy, possessiveness, obsessiveness, overprotectiveness, paranoia

Prompt 41: “Don’t worry, I’m sure you’ll look cute with a swollen stomach carrying our child.”

It seemed to be early afternoon when you finally woke up, bright sunlight hitting you right in your face and making you pull the sheets over your head, whining something about it being too bright in here. You had for once a morning where you didn't have a terrible morning sickness which had more than just once kept you from just enjoying the warmth of the bed and not having to lean over the toilet and feeling miserable. You didn't blame it on the child though.

Angelina wasn't next to you, the place next to you was already cold which must have meant that she had left a while ago, as quietly as possible so she wouldn't wake you up. She had been so happy when you had agreed that you wanted to have children as well and were ready for a test-tube fertilization as well. You knew from Angelina's terrible backstory and how she had lost in a horrible accident her husband, her baby and her ability to have children. And you knew just as much with how much sadness and envy she always looked at other people who were playing with their children. There had been so much pain in those red eyes.

But all of that had seemed to disappear when both of you had received the news that the fertilization had been a success and that you were pregnant. Angelina had cried tears of joy when hearing the news and the rest of the day you had been showered with kisses and praises, the joy and hope in her face had made you feel like you had just done the best thing that you could have done for her, next to having come into her life in the first place of course.

Since both of you had received the news, about one month had passed by and currently you were, according to An herself, in your eleventh week of pregnancy and you were sure that your stomach had already started to swell the tiniest bit, you knew in the following weeks it would continue growing and growing and you knew that it would lead An to being even more touchy than she was already.

You felt like she had gotten ever since more careful with you, more than she had been already. You couldn't blame her, you guessed that after what had happened to her, she was a bit paranoid over you. It wasn't like she treated you bad, she did everything for you and you didn't really have to move a muscle, especially know that you were carrying. But maybe she was a bit too suffocating since you needed your space from time to time too and now that you were pregnant your hormones would start the one day or another to go crazy which meant mood swings.

Still, you weren't angry with her. Your anger always faded away the moment you saw her sincere and joyful smile, exposing her true beauty. And you looked forward to having a small baby as well, you had confidence that the baby would have a good life and would be treated with much love, Angelina would never let anything harm the baby or you.

Maybe you were the tiniest bit nervous about all the months to come, but that was normal. Pregnancy was not something to take lightly and you had already heard so many stories about labor pain that had managed to make you anxious, not wanting to experience the waves of agony washing over you for hours straight. It was in the nature of a human that they feared pain and wanted to avoid it. It made you feel scared as well, but you had to be couragous now. Currently you weren't only taking responsibility for yourself, but for the life inside of you as well.

A soft knock was suddenly heard on the door, causing you to turn around in bed, still wrapped up in the sheets like a caterpillar in a cocoon. It was delightfully warm and you were lazy, your body had slowly started to feel more heavy and tired recently and An had explained to you that this was completely normal whilst carrying a child since it took a lot of energy.

The door was slowly slid open, Angelina's face peeking in, wanting to look whether you were already awake or not. She smiled softly when she saw you neing burried in the sheets, only the upper part of your face being visible, the rest hidden under the blanket. "So you finally woke up. Did you sleep well?", she asked, closing the door behind her and walking over to you, sitting down next to you and carressing your hair.

"I didn't storm this morning to the toilet so I slept well, it is already afternoon after all.", you replied, sitting slowly up and letting a yawn out. "That's good to hear that the little one didn't make too much troubles today." She had a warm look in her eyes when saying this, one of her hands placing itself on your stomach and rubbing over it slightly.

"What do you think it will be? A boy or a girl?", she asked in a mellow tone. You let out a small huff. "How should I know? Is there something you would prefer?", you asked her, looking with a fond look down your stomach as well. "No. I will love them, no matter gender.", she responded and you knew that she meant it. "But I feel like it might be a girl."

You tilted your head a bit, giving her a surprised look. "Why do you think so?" Angelina shrugged her shoulders a bit, looking like she didn't know herself. "It is just my intuition telling me that it will be a girl." The thought of a little daughter filled you with a warm tingling, already imagining how much An would love the little princess.

"If you are already that sure that it will be a girl, what do you think would be a good name for her?", you asked, starting to think about possible names that you could name the little one. You wanted a name that had a meaning, something unique and special, just like the girl. When you said this, the woman suddenly seemed to hesitate for a bit, telling you that something was bothering her. "An, what is it?", you asked worriedly, grabbing her one hand that was still resting on your stomach.

"I...was thinking of naming her...Rachel.", she replied after a while slowly, the words seeming to cause her pain. And your eyes widened shocked when you heard the name she had thought about, knowing instantly what this was all about. "Rachel after your dead sister?" Her red eyes met yours, a unsure, but also decided look in them and she gave you a short nod.

"Rachel...", you murmured the name, glancing shortly down at your still flat stomach before you returned your gaze to hers, giving he a reassuring grin and nodding. "Why not? It is a pretty name. Fitting for a pretty girl. But what if it is a boy?"

"I will let you choose the name for a boy since I already suggested one for a girl. Any ideas?" You let out a sigh, chewing on your lips a bit whilst listening in your head all possible names that you could think off in that moment. But not one seemed to amaze you. "I don't know. There are so many, but not one of them seems to be to my liking.", you whined, making An laugh a bit. "You still got time darling. No need to stress out. I'm sure you'll choose a name befitting for a handsome young boy."

A short moment of silence came over you two, but it wasn't awkward in the least bit, it was relaxing and soothing, Angelina pulling her closer to you and you pressed yourself gladly against her, enjoying the closeness to her. A feint scent of tea and food was hanging on her clothes, you guessed she had prepared breakfast for you downstairs. "Do you think everything will be fine?", you decided to ask her after a while, needing to let this question finally out of your mind.

"Are you scared?" You hummed a bit, feeling the doubts in you stirring up now that you had finally spoken up about it. "It's normal to be unsure about the pregnancy, no matter if it's the first time or not. Nevertheless, I will ensure personally that everything will be alright. You don't have to worry, I will protect you and the child. I won't let anything harm you two. I won't."

When she said the last sentence, you felt her body tensing up slightly and her grip tightening a bit around you, flashbacks filling her mind and mixing bad feelings and old pain up in her. But you trusted her when she said those words, feeling like you shouldn't be so down and insecure about all of this. Especially since An had already gone through so much you felt like you shouldn't make her worry because you were scared.

"What about my belly and the way my body will change?" You meant to change the topic a bit, but you were surprised by how insecure you sounded when hearing you saying this, taking not only Agelina by surprise. "(y/n)...do you worry about how you will look these following months?"

You blinked a bit, forming an answer in your head before letting out a small sigh. "Maybe a bit. I'm just worried that I might become a bit too hard to deal with during the next few months. I truly don't want to make you worry since you already do so much for me. I...kind of feel like I might become a burden."

"Then I want you to know here and now that this couldn't be more wrong. You are anything, but a burden for me.", she protested, sounding a bit angered that you were thinking like this. "I do all of this gladly and whatever troubles I will go through, I'll do it to make sure that both you and the baby will be fine. I will protect my family with everything I can and can't do. Understood?"

The passion and emotions in her voice struck your heart in a painfully touching way which led you to tear up a bit, but maybe these were already your hormones making you more sensible. "Sure, sorry for saying stuff like this. Instead of worrying about such things, I should start feeling more happy and thankful for all I have."

"It's alright. You're just being a bit anxious. But I'll be here for you whenever you need me," , she reassured you with a gentle voice, pressing a kiss against your temple. "Don't worry, I'm sure you'll look cute with a swollen stomach carrying our child."

#yandere black butler #yandere kuroshitsuji #yandere angelina #yandere angelina durless #yandere madam red

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enthusiasticharry · 3 years

Text

𝐅𝐈𝐂 𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐏𝐎𝐒𝐓 | 𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐃 𝐂𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐓: 6.7k

𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫'𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞 : i feel like i've been waiting years for this to happen when it has only been a few months or so but here it is! feels like home is finally here and i couldn't be more excited. this fic is literally like my child, just like checkmate was, but it does hit closer to home because there are some subjects and topics discusses that are things that happened to me or close to me, so i feel as though i have to protect it with my entire life. but please, do enjoy this not so brief introduction to feels like home, christian and luisa and their little world.

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 : explicit language, mentions of anxiety, depression and heavy injury. mentions of a car crash.

𝐩𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐞 𝐥𝐞𝐭 𝐦𝐞 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐤 𝐨𝐟 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐎𝐍𝐄 here

“Christian!” The sound of her name rings through the entire Bed and Breakfast with how loud her sister screams it.

“What?”

“Have you seen my phone?” Christian sighs, leaning over the table that she was sat at to grab Luisa’s phone that was on the other side, holding it out for her sister. Luisa manoeuvres her wheelchair to the side of the table, “Thank you!”

“Welcome.” Christian mutters, leaning her chin back onto the palm of her hand as she scrolls through the Lodge’s booking system.

The booking system, apart from a few weekend bookings from the odd elderly couple, was completely empty. September was always quite a slow time of the year for the Lodge, and the sisters had found that out the hard way last year, during their first year of being open, when nobody booked anything for the entire month. From what Christian remembers, there were only two walk-in customer’s during the month and they only stayed for a night or so. The fact that they only had two bookings didn’t cause her to worry as much as she did the year prior though, because they had just had the biggest summer that they could ever imagine, and it was only their second year of fully being in business.

It had always been Luisa Flores’ dream to own her own Bed and Breakfast, but Christian had never, ever thought that she would be right beside her when she did it, but, she wouldn’t change it for the world now — she really wouldn’t.

Four years ago the sisters were coming home in the back of a taxi after going out for the night with their friends. They were drunk, but they weren’t driving and they never would whilst intoxicated, but they soon found out halfway through their journey that not everyone is the same. The driver hit the taxi that the Flores sisters were in on the right side as they drove through a junction, and completely destroyed Luisa and the driver’s side of the car. Christian doesn’t remember much from the accident apart from seeing a flashing light from the right side of her and then waking up in a hospital bed with her neck in a neck brace.

All she could think about was whether or not her sister was alive, and when none of the doctors would answer her Christian felt her entire world crumble around her. Even when her parents came, all they had been told was that Luisa had been rushed into emergency surgery and a doctor would be with them after to explain what was going on. Whilst they were waiting, Christian’s doctor came in and explained that she was going to have a scan and some x-rays to check that everything was alright with her. The results came back that Christian had three broken ribs and that her right arm had been fractured in three different places, but apart from that it was all cuts and bruises and she would make a full recovery.

Luisa, on the other hand, hadn’t been so lucky. Due to the car hitting them on her side, it had done unimaginable damage that Christian could only wish to take away from her sister. Luisa had lost one of her legs in the accident and lost all movement in the other, causing her to be wheelchair bound for the rest of her life. It changed their lives forever, and all Christian could ever think was that she should’ve sat on that side, not her sister.

If the accident did anything to their family, it brought them closer together. They had been talking one night whilst watching Gossip Girl for the thousandth time and Christian had brought up that when they were younger, all Luisa would ever talk about was owning her own Bed and Breakfast in the Lake District. At first, Luisa had dismissed the idea and said that it wouldn’t ever work because of her wheelchair and not being able to walk but if anything, it actually meant that Christian had more of a fire up her arse to make it happen for her sister. A lot of the things that Luisa wanted to do with her life she couldn’t anymore, but this thing, with Christian’s help, she could do.

They found the building that Little Lodge is now in a few months after deciding that they were going to start up their Bed and Breakfast and with help from their parents, they managed to get a deposit down and also managed to get themselves a mortgage. Before they knew it, they were opening their own little Bed and Breakfast.

It was a stressful experience at first, and Christian can’t lie and say that it isn’t stressful a lot nowadays as well, but it was certainly worse at the beginning. The majority of the time, Luisa did the front of house and Christian did everything else because it was just easier for the two of them and the dynamic of the Lodge. There was the odd time that the two of them would change their roles just to fit the situation but that was usually it. Christian loved the dynamic that they had created in Little Lodge more than anything else in her life. It was her new home, and she would never give it up, never.

“Have you heard anything from mamá about abuela?” Luisa asks after a few minutes or so, closing her phone and dropping it down onto her lap.

“No.” Christian shakes her head, swirling in the desk-chair that she was sat in so that she was facing her older-sister, “Mamá said that she’d message if there were any updates but I haven’t heard anything. Papá said that they’re still waiting for the scan results.”

“That’s shit.” Luisa adds and Christian nods her head, tucking a piece of her hair behind her ear, “She had the scan hours ago, didn’t she?”

“Papá said that abuela went in for the scan at around six this morning, and they’ve been waiting and waiting but nothing yet.”

Christian sighs and shrugs her shoulders whilst Luisa shakes her head. Christian and Luisa’s abuela still lived in Seville, where their mother is originally from and she had recently started to get quite sick so their parents decided that it was probably best that the two of them go and visit her for an extended amount of time whilst she had tests done and they figured out what was wrong with her. It was nerve-wracking for the girls, that they weren’t able to be with her family and check that their abuela was okay but they couldn’t leave the Lodge, and they just hoped that their abuela understood that.

“Ay Dios mio.” Luisa shakes her head again, “Mamá must be going out of her mind.”

“I wouldn’t be surprised if that was the case.” Christian shrugs, “We’ve all seen how bad she’s gotten over the past few years. As much as I hate to admit it, I have a suspicion that it isn’t going to be the best news.”

“Christian!” Luisa raises one of her eyebrows as she looks at her younger sister, “Don’t think like that. We have to stay positive.”

Christian raises one of her eyebrows at her sister, “Positive? I’m just telling the truth, Lu.”

“I know you are.” Her sister pushes again, “But don’t you go saying that to mamá, that might be the end for her.”

“Like I would.” Christian leans forward and thumps her sister on the shoulder, but composes herself when she notices the last couple that they have staying in the Lodge for the summer make their way to the desk to check out. Luisa raises one of her eyebrows at Christian, who just responds to her sister with a roll of her eyes.

As the couple walk towards the front of the desk, Christian swivels around in her chair so that she’s facing the front again and offers them a large smile, “Morning, how are you both? Did you sleep well?”

“We did, thank you.” The man responds walking over and placing the keys to their room down on the counter, “Sad to be leaving, that’s for sure.”

“We’re sad to see you go, too.” Christian offers them a sad smile whilst she tries to find their booking on the system, “But I’m sure we’ll see you again, yeah?”

“Yeah, you certainly will.” The man laughs and Christian nods her head.

Christian sends their receipt to print and holds her hand out, waiting for the sheets to come out. Once they have, she staples their version together, and the Lodge’s versions together and opens them to the page they need to sign and passes them a pen.

“Can you sign on the dotted line and date, please?” She asks and the man nods, “It’s just a confirmation of payment and then you’ll get another one when we’ve cleaned the room and sent your deposit back.”

The man nods and signs the two pages before passing them back to Christian. She finishes the process and then gives them their receipt and wishes them a good day and safe travel. That was the last couple to leave the Lodge, and that meant that Summer was officially over and that they wouldn’t see as many customers as they had in a long time, probably not until October Half-Term when all of the schools in England broke up for a week. Once the door had closed behind them, Christian turned back to her sister who was looking at her with a silly smile on her face.

“What?”

“You’ve gotten better at that, you know?” Luisa says, moving forward so that she can slip underneath the desk with Christian, “You stuttered so much when we first opened.”

“That’s just ‘cos I was nervous.” Christian shrugs, “I didn’t want to fuck it up. Now, I don’t care. I don’t think I can fuck anything up.”

“Uh, let's agree to disagree with that one. There’s still things that you’d be able to fuck up. You get too nervous and word-vomit.”

“Thanks for reminding me of that, Lu. I really appreciate it.”

“Hey.” Luisa knocks Christian’s shoulder with hers, “What are sisters for?”

As far as a sibling relationship went, Christian and Luisa were as close as sisters could be. This had been both before and after the accident. There were only two years between them, and Christian sometimes wondered whether or not it was how close the two of them were in age that meant they were so close. They would do everything together when they were younger, and of course they had arguments and fought at little things that didn’t matter but at the end of the day they were still sisters. That was certainly one of the reasons why they made it through sorting out the Lodge without killing each other, because Christian doesn’t believe they’ve ever argued as much as they did when they were trying to sort the Lodge out, but they made it through without actually hitting one another which is better than they could say for before the accident.

They were minding their business when the computer pinged. It was loud, and it caused the two of them to sit up and stare at the screen with their eyebrows furrowed.

“Is that—?” Luisa asks.

“— I don’t know.” Christian leans forward and places her hand on the mouse, moving so that she could close the tab that she had opened and move to the booking-system app, which had been the one to make the noise.

“Has someone booked?” Luisa looked just as confused as Christian was and when she looked at the system, she saw that someone had actually booked.

As Christian flickered her eyes over the booking her mouth parted open in shock, “Holy shit.”

“What? What is it?” Luisa moves closer to Christian and focuses her eyes on the screen, “Ay Dios mio.”

Not only had someone booked in September of all months, but they had booked for the entire month. At first Christian thought that her eyes had been deceiving her and that this wasn’t the case at all. The more that she looked at the booking, the more that she realised that it was real and someone actually had booked to stay at their Lodge in the month of September.

“Holy Fuck.” Christian couldn’t help the profanities as they slipped from her lips, then parting in shock when she finally read the full confirmation.

Christian had expected to see that the booking would be for a few days, probably three at most, but when she saw that it was for the entire month. The entire fucking month, she felt her heart stop. Whoever this person was, H.Styles as the booking says, wanted to come and stay at their Lodge for the entire month. The most they’ve ever had was a week before, and that was during the height of summer when the kids were off school. To say that the two sisters were in shock would certainly be an understatement.

“Is this a joke?” Luisa asks, obviously just as dumbfounded as Christian at what she was looking at, “This can’t be real.”

“It looks like it.” Christian starts to scroll through the information that had been given, “The email, card. Everything.”

“You search him on Insta, I’ll do Facebook.”

Christian immediately takes her phone out and opens Instagram, typing in H.Styles to see if anything comes up, but it doesn’t. No matter how much Christian scrolls through all of the profiles that come up from the search as well. At the same time, one of these profiles could be of the person coming to stay at their Lodge in the next few days, Christian just didn’t know. After she closed her phone and placed it face down on the table, she looked up at Luisa who had her face too close to the screen of her own phone as she looked at something.

“Think you’ve found him?” Christian asks, leaning over her sister's shoulder to look at the profile that she was on.

“I don’t know.” Luisa mumbles, passing her phone to her sister, “Maybe this could be him.”

The profile that Luisa showed her sister was one of the profiles that look as if they aren’t used at all, but it’s actually just because they have a private account. The profile picture looked to be of a man, maybe around Christian’s age, or maybe Luisa’s but they couldn’t tell because the photo only showed the side of his face. From what Christian could also tell, the photo seemed to have been taken in a museum of some sort, and it looked almost serene.

“Could be.” Christian shrugs her shoulders, “I suppose we’ll know in two days.”

Luisa sighs and drops her head back, “I don’t think I’ll be able to wait that long.”

“Shut it.” Christian shakes her head, thwacking her sister on the shoulder, “Have a little patience. Why do you care anyway?”

“Well excuse me for being curious on who the person is who’s going to feed us in September and October.” Luisa shakes her head before moving herself backwards, “I’m going to check some things with Yani, are you going to be okay?”

“I’ll be fine.” Christian shrugs her shoulders, giving her a small smile, “Have fun. Let me know if you hear anything about abuela.”

“Same to you.”

Christian gives her sister one last smile as she ventures back inside and towards the kitchen, before she places her attention back onto the booking in front of her. This was certainly going to be one for the record books, whether Christian and Luisa knew that yet or not.

As Christian sat drinking the coffee that she had made herself a few minutes prior, she quickly realised that it probably wasn’t the best idea to drink coffee at a time like this.

Christian’s social anxiety certainly wasn’t as bad as it had been, but it still wasn’t the best. Christian’s mother has said from her being a young child that she can talk for England if it’s to someone who she knows and trusts, but the second that it’s to someone who she doesn’t know and doesn’t feel comfortable with, she’s nervous and awkward and will only speak if she’s spoken to. The accident certainly didn’t help, and for a while Christian only spoke to her family and doctors but she bounced back from that quicker than anyone could have imagined, and she guessed that was because of Little Lodge and how it brought Christian out of her comfort zone.

Just because Christian was better than she had been, it certainly didn’t mean that she was completely cured because that wasn’t the case, not even a little bit. She would still fumble on her words, albeit not as much as she used to, but it would still happen. More often than not Christian wouldn’t speak unless she was spoken to and she tries her hardest to stay away from social situations that she knew would stress her out, because that wasn’t good for anyone.

One of the little worries that she had picked up since opening the Lodge, though, was whenever they had somebody book online and Christian wasn’t distracted enough to not think about it, that would be all that she would think about. Sometimes she would get herself into some quite horrible states worrying about the types of people that were going to walk through their doors, but Christian had to remind herself that speculation isn’t the right thing to do and that she can’t let herself worry like that unless that is actually something to worry about — obviously that doesn’t mean she completely stops doing it.

That was one of the reasons why Christian hadn’t slept at all last night, and why when she woke up this morning she felt the need to make herself a large cup of coffee. The only thing was that the more caffeine that the girl drank, the more that her heart started to beat faster within her chest. At this moment in time, Christian didn’t know if it was more nerves or excitement that H.Styles was arriving today.

“You look like death.” Luisa says, as she stops her chair in front of the reception desk.

“Good morning to you too, Luisa.” Christian says sarcastically, lifting her eyes up from the screen to look directly at her sister, “Did you sleep well? Are you excited for today? How are you?”

“Yeah, yeah I get it.” She shakes her head and places her hands on the desk, “Did you sleep at all last night?”

“As you lovingly pointed out, I look like death, so no, I didn’t.” Christian explains, unable to stop herself from letting out a large yawn.

“You need to sleep, Chris.” Luisa shakes her head, “I get that you worry but it certainly isn’t worth losing sleep over.”

“I know.” Christian offers her sister a small smile, “I’m not gonna be able to ever stop doing it, I hope you know that.”

“I know.” Luisa nods her head, “And I’m sure you know that I’m going to keep telling you that you look like death.”

Christian grins, “I wouldn’t expect anything else.”

Luisa’s phone pings before she can say anything else, and Christian knows that it’s probably time for her to leave. Luisa and her girlfriend, Elsa, have had this day planned as their date day for a long time, and Christian wasn’t going to let anything get in the way of their day.

Luisa and Elsa have been together for three years now. They met when Luisa went away to Sweden for a few weeks with her friends from school. Elsa had been visiting her family and they met through a confusing line of mutual friends that Christian had very little interest in learning about. All Christian cared about was that her sister was happy, and if Elsa was the person to do that then that was all Christian wanted in life. When the accident happened, Luisa had been worried that Elsa wouldn’t want to be with her anymore, and no matter how many times Christian reassured her sister that Elsa wouldn’t do that and that she loved her, Luisa just believed that wasn’t the case. As Christian had reassured her sister, Elsa didn’t leave. In fact, Elsa did everything that she could to help Luisa.

For Christian, Luisa and Elsa were the epitome of what she wanted in life. She wanted someone to look at her the way they look at each other, and love her like they love each other.

“El’s here.” Luisa grinned as she looked at her sister again, “Are you sure you’re going to be okay? We can stay if you want, go out later.”

“No!” Christian exclaimed, shaking her head, “You’re not cancelling because of this. I’ll be fine. You two enjoy yourself.”

Luisa looks at her sister and raises one of her eyebrows, “Are you sure?”

“I’m positive.”

“Completely positive?”

“Luisa!” Christian exclaims, shaking her head, “Go to your girlfriend, everything will be fine.”

“Okay.” Christian stood up and made her way towards her sister, pressing a kiss to her cheek and then making her way over to the door and opening it for her. Christian can see Elsa’s car parked at the end of the street and she smiles at the sight, “I’ll see you later. Message me if you need me.”

“Will do. Have fun.”

Christian watches for a little while longer, just checking that Luisa actually makes it to Elsa. Once she sees the car door open and Elsa steps out, Christian takes it as her cue to go back inside. There aren’t any guests staying at the Lodge at this exact time, so it feels a little odd to Christian that someone will be coming tonight and that they’re going to be staying for the entire month, and be the only guest that they have for a while.

Yesterday, seeing as though it was the only day that Christian had been given to prepare, she made a start on deciding which room she was going to give H.Styles and started to get it ready. Luisa had spent the day at reception so that Christian could do that, only face-timing her every once in a while so that she could see what Christian was doing to the rooms.

A part of Christian often felt guilty when it came to the two rooms that were on the upper floor of the Lodge. They were the largest and fanciest rooms in Christian’s opinion, but due to the narrow staircase Luisa had never been able to go up and see them in real life so she had to settle for Christian’s shaky camera work on facetime.

Christian had to choose between rooms Seda and Luz which were both nice for different reasons. She supposes that she is biased because she designed these rooms and helped decorate them more as her own than the rooms downstairs. Due to Luisa not being able to go up to decorate the rooms, Christian had basically been given free reign of the rooms to do whatever she wanted with them. When it came to the names of the rooms, Seda and Luz, which mean silk and light in Spanish, Christian knew that she wanted to incorporate some form of each of the words into the decoration of the room.

When it came to Seda, Christian made the main colour combination in the room a dark grey and peach colour and incorporated the silk in with the curtains and the cushions that were used as decoration. Everything matches and isn’t too cluttered in the rooms, which is one of the things that Christian loves about being able to decorate her own rooms. The second room, Luz, she decided to make the accents in the room navy blue, including an accent wall which was a pain in Christian’s arse to paint, but once it was finished it really did bring the room together. The vocal point of the room, though, had to be the different exposed light bulbs that light up the room: there were three on the ceiling, and other lamps assorted throughout the room.

Christian had ended up cleaning and making sure that both rooms were adequate. She changed the sheets, hoovered, placed down fresh towels, dusted and did basically everything else that she could to not only distract herself but make the rooms ready for when H.Styles arrived.

Luisa always used to say, whenever they spoke about the Bed and Breakfast that she were going to own before the accident happened, that she reckoned that the cleaning and the upkeep portion would be the worst and for a while Christian thought the same, but she quickly came to realise that truly wasn’t the case. Christian loved to clean and make sure that everything was tidy for whenever the guests arrived and after having a little more thought about it, Christian believed that the reason she enjoyed cleaning was because it gave her time to relax and not think about everything else in her life. She often had her headphones on with music playing, or maybe even a podcast every now and then. Christian couldn’t exactly pinpoint the exact moment in her life where she became an old woman, but she couldn’t say that she minded.

She decided that the best thing that she could do is wait until H.Styles arrived for her to make any decisions about which room she thought would be the best. Of course, Christian wouldn’t know anything about him by just checking him in she would at least be given a slight indication of which room he may enjoy more.

Christian had no idea what time H.Styles would be arriving, and that was one of the things that was creating a bit of suspense. She was checking their books and making sure everything was in line and at any given second he could arrive and she would meet the person who had booked to stay there for the entire month. Christian believed that maybe that was why she spent a lot of her time wondering about who was coming to stay with them, because who would need to stay in their little corner of the Lake District for that amount of time, who would need to do that?

If there was one thing that Christian certainly wasn’t doing it was complaining. This man, whoever he was and for whatever reasons he was doing this, would be paying their bills and giving them enough money to keep themselves going for a little while longer, or at least until October Half-Term.

Christian quickly learnt that there wasn’t going to be much for her to do but sit and wait, and due to her being on her own in the Lodge, she saw no issues with connecting her phone to her speakers and blasting out music into the room. Luisa always said that Christian had a weird taste in music, but Christian just said that it was eclectic.

The thing about Christian, especially when it came to her music, was that she listened to everything. If someone recommended a song, she’d listen to it, and if she liked that song then she’d listen to it again and again. She would never say that she wouldn’t listen to a song just because it’s country, or that she doesn’t like this artist very much so she won’t listen to it either. If a song is a good song, and she likes it, then she’d listen to it. That did mean that Christian’s playlists were a little all over the place, and no matter how hard she tried to organise them, it just wasn’t possible.

Don’t Go Breaking My Heart by Elton John was the song blasting through the speakers at this time, a classic if Christian said so herself. She had done everything work wise that she needed to do, so she spent her time reading one of the books that she had picked up from the bookstore in the village: one about love, death and everything in between. It was good, but it wasn’t one of her favourites, but she’d definitely finish reading it just to see how it ended.

She was completely submerged in the words on the page, and the words floating around her ears when the door opened. In fact, she hadn’t noticed the man walking closer to the desk until she saw movement from over the pages of her book which caused her lips to part open in shock slightly. Her eyes flickered to the time on the computer, and it read that it was just past one in the afternoon, and she was shocked to say the least that he was already there.

Christian abandoned her book and threw it down, hoping that she’d at least get to remember where she was in the book because the pages had closed, and clicked her phone on so she could pause the music. Her eyes then flickered up to the man who was standing above her, and she couldn’t help her lips parting as she then looked him up and down. She was trying not to stare, she really was, but she wasn’t doing a very good job of it to say the least.

From what Christian could see, he was wearing a denim flat-cap on his head with brown curls peeking out of the bottom. He was also wearing sunglasses over his eyes, but she watched him take them off and they were now placed on the top of the reception desk. She could only see just under his chest, but he was wearing a red and blue striped shirt and a blue jacket. Christian couldn’t help but wonder whether or not he liked the colour blue, since he was wearing quite a lot of it.

“Hi.” Christian couldn’t help the sheepish smile that crossed her lips as she tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, “Sorry about that, how can I help you?”

“M’Harry.” The man says, shrugging his shoulders slightly as he does so. Harry, “I made a booking a few days ago, I’m here to check in.”

Christian nods her head, “I’ll just get that up for you."

She wiggles the mouse to wake the computer up and quickly types in the password so that their systems come back up. Christian’s a little embarrassed to say the least that their systems weren’t already up but she wasn’t expecting him to arrive yet, so she hadn’t prepared for it. Once the system is loaded up and she has his booking, she offers him another smile.

One of the things that Christian had prepared though was the bill that he has to sign beforehand with the deposit on it that states that he’ll get the deposit money back if the room is left unharmed.

“Can you sign and date on the dotted line, please?” She asks, giving him the sheet of paper and a pan. She watches as he signs H.Styles, in a beautiful penmanship if she does say so herself, and then passes back to her.

She clicks a few more buttons on the computer before opening the drawer and starting to flicker through the keys, “One room, for thirty nights.”

Christian tries to hide the shock in her voice when she says how long he’s staying but she certainly doesn’t do a good job of it. As Christian flickered through the keys, she finally landed on the one that she had been waiting for, the one for Luz. It seemed like an obvious choice in Christian’s mind when she saw what he was wearing to pick Luz, so that’s the one she decided upon.

“That’s right.” Harry nods his head.

“Great.” Christian sighs with a smile on her face, trying her hardest not to make the situation more awkward than it was, “I’ll, uh, show you to your room.”

He nods his head and she watches as he picks up the suitcases that she hadn’t even noticed he had with him and followed her towards the staircase. She was starting to feel a little uncomfortable at the fact that he was walking behind her, watching her and she couldn’t see what his face looked like. That was certainly why, and not because she had noticed that he had quite the handsome face.

Once she made it up to Luz, and she had turned the light switch on so that they wouldn’t be fumbling around in the dark trying to find where they were going, she used the key in her hand to open the door. Christian walked in first, just because there wasn’t enough room on the narrow landing for them both to stand and manoeuvre around each other — Christian had learnt that the hard way.

She placed the key on the cabinet in the room, and then turned to look at Harry who had just placed his suitcases down on the ground. He looked around the room for a little while and then moved to the window, looking out before turning to Christian.

“It’s lovely.”

Christian nodded her head in thanks, “Breakfast is from seven to nine everyday in the conservatory. I’ll, uh, leave you to get settled in and I hope you enjoy your stay.”

“Thank you.”

The second Christian walks out of the room and closes the door behind her, she lets out a sigh of relief that she hadn’t even known she had been holding.

Christian messaged Luisa that he had arrived but she received no reply. She didn’t think too much of it, because she knew that whenever Elsa and Luisa were together they were so completely obsessed with each other that nothing can distract them. Luisa knows though that if she doesn’t give Christian an update of their whereabouts by five then Christian would start to worry — they had four hours before Christian would start to worry.

For a little while Christian didn’t put her music back on, and she listened to the creeks of the ceiling as Harry moved around above her.

He didn’t give anything away of who he was, or why he was there but at the same time Christian made no indication of wanting to know anything. If Luisa would have been here when he arrived, that would probably be a completely different story. Luisa would’ve gotten some information out of him, Christian knew it for certain. She wondered who he was, and what he was doing here, but she wouldn’t ask him.

When the creeks of the ceilings stopped and there wasn’t anything else for Christian to listen to, she turned her music back on and picked up her book. It took her a while to locate where she was, having just thrown it on the side earlier when she noticed that he was there but she soon found the page she was up to. The words, as much as Christian tried to digest them, just weren’t going into her head in the way that they had been.

Christian wasn’t playing the music as loud as she had been earlier, mainly because she wanted to hear and listen when he started moving again, and when he eventually came downstairs. He had to come down at some point, seeing as though he had to eat and even though they serve breakfast at the Lodge, they don't serve lunch or dinner just yet. It was something that Christian and Luisa had been looking into, but it takes more work than they could have ever imagined to make something like that work.

Around two hours after Harry first arrived, she heard movement upstairs and towards the landing that caused her heart to skip a beat. Christian quickly turned her music off, and managed to place her bookmark in her book before he walked into the reception. She tried not to make it obvious and she placed her hand on the mouse of her computer as though she had been doing something, but she wasn’t the best actress and she was sure that it was completely obvious what she had been doing.

He gave her a smile as he walked into the room and towards the desk, and she tried not to seem awkward when she gave him one back but she was sure that she’d failed at that too.

“Is everything okay?” She asks, tucking a piece of hair behind her ear.

He nods his head, “Yeah, everything’s fine. I was just. . . I was just wondering whether you had any recommendations of places to eat.”

“Oh, uh, I do know of some good places.” She nods her head, “What food do you like? Then I know what to recommend.”

“I’ll eat anything, to be honest.” He chuckles, a smile crossing his lips. He had dimples.

“Uh, well, there’s a good Italian restaurant about a mile from here.” Christian shrugs, “I can call you a taxi, if you would like.”

“No, it’s fine.” He shrugs, “Have you got the postcode? Or some directions.”

“Yeah, it’s just down the road.” She points to the left, “If you go over the bridge and just follow the road for a mile or so, you can’t miss it. It’s called Galileo’s.”

“Thank you.” He smiles and turns to walk towards the door.

He opens the door and then moves to the side, stopping his actions. Christian furrows her eyebrows as she watches everything unfold. Luisa and Elsa walk through the opened door, smiling at Harry as they do so before turning to look at Christian with wide eyes. The two of them look over their shoulder and watch as the door shuts behind Harry as he leaves, and their eyes immediately fall to Christian again who’s looking at them with her teeth clamped firmly on her bottom lip.

“Oh. My. God.” Luisa slowly makes her way towards Christian, stopping when she’s finished saying the last word, “You failed to mention in your message that the man was basically a Greek God, Christ Christian.”

“Do you really think that me of all people would say that?” Christian sighs and shakes her head.

Elsa shakes her head, “Chris wouldn’t say that, Lu. You know that.”

Luisa accepts her girlfriend’s hand on her shoulder with a kiss, “Doesn’t mean it’s any less true though. Did he tell you anything?”

“His name is Harry.”

Luisa doesn’t blink as she looks at her sister, “That’s it? That’s all he said?”

“That’s all he said.” Christian nods her head, “He just came down to ask for a recommendation of places to eat and I told him to go to Galileo’s.”

“Jeez.” Elsa sucks a breath through her teeth and shakes her head, “Galileo’s? On the first night? Are you sure?”

“Galileo is harmless.” Christian shakes her head.

“He’s a nutcase.” Luisa sighs, shaking her head.

“He’s not.” Christian pouts, “He’s not around me, anyway.”

Elsa laughs and sits down on one of the couches that rest against the wall of the reception, “If he survive’s Galileo’s then he’ll survive staying here for an entire month, that’s for sure.”

“Hey!” Luisa whines, “We’re not that bad.”

“I’m not bad.” Christian’s quick to say after her sister, “You are though.”

“I’d watch your tone if I were you, missy.” Luisa says, lifting her hand up and pointing one of her fingers at her sister, “I’m still the older one in this situation.”

Elsa furrows her eyebrows and looks at her sister, “Are you sure about that?”

“Shut it, you.” Luisa shakes her head, turning her attention back to her sister, “If I were you, I’d just keep an eye on him. See if you can figure out anything about him.”

“I’m not going to stalk him, Luisa!”

“I wasn’t telling you to stalk him!” She exclaims back, “I was just telling you to observe, like a good host would.”

Elsa furrows her eyebrows from behind her girlfriend, “It sounds a lot like stalking to me.”

Luisa shakes her head, “I hate you both.”

Christian grins and tilts her head to the side, “You love us really.”

Although Christian would never admit it, watching and listening seemed like quite a good way of figuring out who this man was and why he was here. She wasn’t going to be stalking him though, just observing.

#first part of feels like home!! eek!!#harry styles #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles imagine #harry styles fic #harry styles fanfic #harry styles writing #harry styles x ofc #harry styles x oc #harry styles angst #harry styles fluff #harry styles smut #harry styles series #series

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love-hatred-stuff · 3 years

Text

Mad at him } Jung Jaehyun [nct]

》 genre:

angst, light fluff

》 warning(s):

Jaehyun swears a lot & is kind of a dick, mention of other idols [ma johnny], um that's it ig

》 word count:

1.9k

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Crap, school is shit!

I was doing homework for hours now and I was still not finished with all of it. It was upsetting me, more than it should.

After I had let out a heavy and annoyed groan I heard my phone ring. Jaehyun, my boyfriend was calling me.

Wow, he actually had the time to call me.

He didn't contact me for a whole day and I was getting more pissed each minute. In the beginning of our relationship, he always made sure how my day was when we hadn't had the chance to meet up.

Today had been an absolute disaster what wasn't making my mood any better.

But I had to suppress my anger for a moment, because he was rather sensitive. What means, I better not get mad for no proper reason.

He started talking instantly after I picked up.

"Hey, sorry that I couldn't call earlier. How was your day?" His voice was monotone and I didn't like that, at all.

I felt the wish that he would've better just let me be for the rest of the day with that attitude crossing my mind. Though I tried ignoring my now mixed feelings.

"Yeah, nevermind. Mine was not the best day to be honest." I tried to reply like I normally would.

"What happened?" I wasn't in the mood to tell him about my whole day.

And because he hadn't had the time to pick me up yesterday too, I decided to tease and play a little bit. Maybe this would make my day better.

"Nothing, that's the problem. I am doing homework for hours now and my brain is about to explode. But luckily, I have Kai. He helps me out a lot, with my problems." It almost sounded like I was only talking to a friend and not my boyfriend. Acting like Jeahyun wasn't my boyfriend for almost two years now.

Since I knew, he gets angry when I'm close to other guys, it's the perfect idea to play with his feelings. Cruel, but effective.

"What do you mean, helping you with your problems? That's what I'm supposed to do. You should better get your ass here now!"

"Don't cuss at me. He's just a good friend I met in school Jaeh." I acted like I was trying to convince him that it wasn't a big deal, but in reality it was what I wanted, of course.

I wanted him to spend time with me, without telling him to.

"Do you think I care if he's just a friend? We had been friends too before we started dating, Y/N." He sounded pissed and I had to smile proudly.

"That's different." I wasn't allowed to mention that I would never replace him, like I usually would, because it had to sound a little suspicious.

"That Kai guy is going to get killed if he thinks he can have you. I want you to come over right now!" I almost giggled at his command.

"I don't think, you really want me there." I expressed my thoughts.

"What the fuck is wrong, Y/N? You know that's not true." I could hear his voice getting shaky and hard to control.

"Ok then. I'll be there in 10." I ended the call quickly before it could get too emotional.

I didn't like emotions, except for the ones I had for Jaehyun. They can easily let you make some real dumb decisions.

That's why I was a rather cold person. I was kind, but I wasn't someone who smiled all day and acted like nothing angered or annoyed me. 'Cause there were always things in my way.

Fortunately I was also a quite strong person, that learned to be in the past few years and I don't give up that easily or let some shit destroy me.

Jeahyun was also strong but I had better skills than him to get what I wanted and my influence on him was just too big to let him win. I always won fights, but that wasn't important in our realtionship. To me it was just an advantage that I would use in such situations.

...

I changed into a short but cute, rosè dress and a white cardigan with brown buttons, put my converse on and fastly walked to Jaeh's dorm.

I had needed fifteen minutes, but it was fine, he would wait for me longer.

I knocked like I always did, three times.

After some seconds Jaehyun ripped the door open and I slightly flinched.

"Holy Shit. What are you wearing?" He scanned my body. I could see, he found it hot but there was also some anger building up in his eyes, and it was rising fast.

"Nice to see you too." I rolled my eyes, inconspicuously also looking over his body. He was wearing sweatpants and a muscle tank top, showing his biceps and toned abs.

He wasn't getting his eyes off me.

"Y/N, this dress covers like nothing. I get it, your curves look absolutely stunning but you have to change!" He angrily commanded.

"Shut up, can I come inside now?" I asked with a hint of annoyance.

"Yes." He stepped away and walked through the kitchen, into his room.

I could sense his tightened jaw and all of his tensed muscles.

"Slow down. It's just a dress." I pronounced looking at him like I couldn't believe how childish he reacted, and at this point I really couldn’t.

"Do you have ANY idea of what the boys think about you when you're wearing this?" He asked and finally turned to me again.

"I would LOVE to know." I ironically said.

"I don't want my girlfriend to walk around like she's just some bitch. Because you're not. These boys are disgusting when it comes to something beautiful like you, Y/N."

Now I'm a bitch? You're done Jaehyun. I thought but grimaced at the hurting word he just said to me.

I know he also called me beautiful, but that wasn't the word that was spinning around my head just now.

When he noticed my face and that I didn't reply after some seconds he tried to apologise.. of course.

"Babe, you're not a bitch. I didn't mean it. All I was trying to say is-" He wanted to grab my arm but I moved back before he could do so.

"No, I got it Jaehyun. I only look like one." I snapped back at him. Not yelling but also not in normal loudness.

I was even more mad than before. And now, I was also hurt. Dangerous Combo.

"No- I- I think it's just too short, Y/N." He wanted to defend himself.

"I understand." My voice wasn't loud anymore at all, but it didn't sound like I meant it.

My voice was pathetically shaking and I was looking on the ground, thinking if it would be the best to just leave now.

"Maybe I should just go. I mean I wouldn't want a bitch in my room either, so..." Talking with a quiet voice, I looked up at him and I saw fear in his eyes.

"No, please-" He stepped forward and was going to take my arm but I backed away again.

"Don't touch me." I warned. His face was getting pale. I didn't miss his teary getting eyes either when I looked at him.

"I'm so sorry. Please don't leave. I really didn't mean it, Y/N. Please, I am just jealous of boys being able to see what usually only I see." He avowed.

"It's fine. I wasn't ready with my homework anyways. I should leave."

"Don't. I want you here right now. Please, I'll do anything." His begging voice spoke.

"But I wanted to get finished today."

"Y/N?!" Suddenly a different person asked excitedly.

I knew who it was and turned around instantly to look at his good looking face.

"Johnny!" I jumped in his arms and he was hugging me back happily.

"Johnny, not now-" Jeahyun was angry once again.

"Let me hug this precious little girl! Hell, you're getting hotter everyday?" Johnny laughed and we separated. He scanned me up and down and smiled mischievously.

"Honestly, if Jeahyun wouldn't date you, surely I would ask you out." He claimed.

"Definitely." I giggled softly.

He was always letting me feel good. And he was one of the guy friends of my boyfriend that I liked the most. He was funny, hella handsome and so nice over all.

Though everything remained on just a friendship, we just always casually played around.

"Hey, shut the hell up. She's mine." Jaeh growled at him and put his hand around my waist, taking back what's his.

I kept smiling but I was also trying to push his hand away, so it was difficult to keep a happy look.

Johnny noticed the awkward situation and started talking to me again.

"Anyways. Do you wanna watch a movie in the living room?"

I opened my mouth and was about to say something but Jaehyun was faster than me.

"No, we were busy." His cold voice was giving me goosebumps.

He could be scary, when he was jealous. I am talking out of experience. Not too nice ones.

"We were not, actually I was about to leave. But because I didn't see you in so long I will stay longer alright?" I suggested when I was back in my senses.

"That's perfect!" John smiled at me.

"You won't hang with my girl, Johnny." Jaeh protested.

I turned around to give my boyfriend a look.

"Could you shut up for a moment? It's my decision since you don't own me. And I'm a bitch right? So it's normal when I hang out with a lot of boys, isn't it?" I started to grow my confidence back but I was fucking mad.

He won't destroy my moment with Johnny right now!

"Did he do something?" The brunette boy in front of us asked.

He was almost two heads taller than me and since Jeah knew I liked taller guys, he was probably freaking out.

"No-" Jaeh started but I thought he could know the truth.

"He said, I looked like a bitch." I told him.

"You did what, Jaehyun?" His shocked voice asked, searching for a reassuring answer in our faces.

"I said sorry already. I didn't mean it okay?! But the dress she's wearing shows almost all of her legs, not to mention her half exposed butt."

"That's no excuse bro. Look, she looks stunning in this dress! There's no reason to fight over." His friend wanted to convince him.

"You better not look at my girl like that, or I have to punch you until you understand." Jeahyun pushed his chest with his fist.

"Calm down man. You should work it out before you come in the living room, I'll pick the movie in the meantime." Johnny decided and walked away.

"Do you let all boys touch you like him?" Now Jaeh asked aggressively, coming nearer.

Now we both had reached a certain line, so I tried to keep it low with my next words, struggling to find a compromise.

"No. I love you. And I wore this dress because I thought you'd find it cute too. Not to attract other boys. I won't wear it in public anymore okay? But you should the fuck calm down and let me talk to Johnny. After all he's your roommate and friend. He won't do anything I don't want." I explained with a strong tone.

His expression softened finally, giving me hope he'd give in eventually.

"Yes, I'm sorry. Will you forgive me for calling you... that?" He wanted to know with puppy eyes.

"I'm not over that yet. It hurted me, Jaeh. I will forgive you if you let me sit with Johnny and watch a movie with us." I claimed and cupped his cheek.

"Fine." He sighed.

We watched an action movie and had a lot of fun. In between time Johnny touched me unintentionally, during laughing and talking.

Jaehyun couldn't hold back and threatened that he would get angry if he would keep doing that. I told him it was fine and Johnny and I just continued like nothing happened.

Don't let your boyfriend treat you like he's in a higher position than you.

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I'll probably do a masterlist for all the groups I stan and write about.

Hope you enjoyed, stay tuned!!! ♡

#kpop imagines #nct #nct angst #nct jung jaehyun #jung jaehyun #nct jaehyun #boyfriend jaehyun

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