#cannot believe i am typing these tags in wow

[bisexualdisaster531]

Rough Evening

Wow, so I really did this, and am publishing it on the internet. Well, I hope no one interviewing me for a job finds this😐 or I will be broke forever hahaha

Anywayssssss, this is pure porn. I saw Les Mis in London a few weeks ago and Bradley Jaden was playing Javert and well...y'all all I can say is that I am down HORRENDOUS because I mean, have you HEARD him(ok and seen him) and he also was an excellent actor and I felt actual sympathy for Javert for honestly the first time and cried like 6x watching(although the entire cast honestly KILLED IT and it was just so amazing i cannot even begin to describe it-) ok I'll actually stop procrastinating and post the damn story. Please do not read if you are under the age of consent, this is NSFW and inappropriate:)

Rough Evening

Pairing: Javert/Reader or OC

Warnings: Rough sex, spanking, fingering, oral sex(f receiving), dirty talk, degradation, unprotected sex, a bit of fluff at the end.

He was barely through the door when he pulled her towards him and kissed her. He roughly pulled and tugged at her dress until she removed it, and now he's pinning her against a wall, exploring her with lips, tongue, and teeth.

This is so unlike anything Javert has done in their 3 months of marriage. He has kissed her and made love to her, but every time, he was slow, deliberate, and at times, tender. He has never been so rough with her, and a thrill runs through her as he fondles her.  

The rough pads of his fingers glide over her nipples, and one hand drops to between her legs as she moans. His cock is achingly hard against her back, and she arches back against him as he pushes the last remaining bit of clothing to the ground. 

He pushes her upper back, and she falls onto the bed. He tugs her right back to the edge though, and he hums approvingly. 

He has never slipped inside her so fast, and his sharp laugh when he realizes she likes the way he’s treating her only makes her shudder around him. 

“You’re so wet,” he taunts her, fingers slipping between her legs to stroke her clit. “Such a slut, aren't you.”

She is horrified at the thrill that runs through her, and even more so by the way she is still so wet for him. She should slap him, or at least stop arching back against him, she thinks.  

“You like that?” Javert chuckles in her ear as he thrusts harder into her. 

“N-no,” she protests, but he knows as well as she does that she's attempting to hide what she's only just discovered herself. 

“Ohhh, you don’t? You don’t mean to tell me that it doesn’t make you soaking wet when I call you a slut? When I do this?” He spanks her once, and when she moans, he laughs. “Liar." 

He’s never talked to her like this before, not ever. In fact, he’s almost always been very quiet, her Javert. When he does talk, it's to reassure her or ask her something. Sometimes he swears when he comes. But this is new.

She’s so close, when he abruptly pulls out of her and finishes all over her buttocks. 

“I didn't come,” is all she can think of to say, as he rebuttons his pants. Javert hums with satisfaction as he observes his handiwork, before gently wiping it away with a soft cloth. She moves to stand up, but he stops her. 

“Oh, we’re not done.” He has a dangerous edge to his voice. “I have some questions for you, and you’re going to stay right there while you answer."

She can’t find the voice to answer him, but she nods, and shivers as he runs a finger along her spine. He hums approvingly, and she feels the fabric of his pants brush against the back of her thighs. 

“You like it when I fuck you, don’t you?” He runs his hands along her shoulders.

“Yes.”

“Do you really think that’s any way to properly address me?” His voice drops slightly. “Next time, you should use your manners, and answer again before I have to punish you.”

She’s not sure where Javert is taking this, but if his tone is anything to go by, it’s probably something that will turn her on.

“You also understand that I want you to enjoy this, don't you?” 

“Yes sir.” She replies softly, but in truth, it surprises her. He’d always made sure that she was comfortable, yes, but she hadn’t equated that to enjoyment until now. 

“Did you like when I was rough with you tonight?” His tone is different, like he’s not sure about the answer she’s going to give him. 

“I probably shouldn’t have,” she admits. “But I really did.”

He spanks her once, and she jumps, but relaxes as he strokes the stinging flesh.

“Maybe not,” he concedes. “But, I am not particularly worried about how you should or should not feel about this. You feel what you feel. If you do not like it, I will not do it again, but if you did, I would like to continue.”

“Please continue,” she finds herself asking, her voice barely above a whisper. 

She is still so wet when he brushes a finger along her cunt. She waits with anticipation as his finger hovers over her clit, but he does not touch her. She huffs a sigh, and he withdraws his fingers right away, and spanks her twice. 

“You ought to be more patient,” he scolds, and rolls her over, taking a moment to look over her body. 

“Move up to the top of the bed, and I’ll think about touching you,” he instructs, and she doesn’t hesitate to do exactly what he says. In the 5 times they’ve been together, he has always made her finish.

“Mmm, look how wet you are,” he pushes her legs apart. “I should’ve guessed you’d like to be fucked like the slut you are.”

She turns her head to the side and moans when he takes a nipple into his mouth. 

“If I put my fingers between your legs would you drip all over my hand?”

She can’t bring herself to answer him, but she moans again.

“Let’s find out, shall we?” Instead of doing what he usually does, and pushing his hand in between her legs, he moves down to right between her legs, and pushes them up over his shoulders. “Ohh, you certainly are, aren’t you? Slut,” he adds, slapping her inner thigh enough that she moans.

Javert spreads her folds with his thumbs, and licks her before she can shut her legs.

“Oh, you are a wet little thing, aren’t you.” He is not asking her, which relieves her because she doesn’t think she could talk right then if she wanted to.

She feels him smirk as she moans. He flicks his tongue over her clit again, and laughs against her when she reaches down. She herself doesn’t even know if she intends to push him away or tug him closer.

"You like that?” He mouths at her cunt between sentences, sucking and kissing the tender flesh. She moans a broken cry of his name and her entire body squirms against him. He presses two fingers inside her pussy, and her hips twitch towards his mouth. She feels him smirk against her as he crooks his fingers mercilessly. 

He has never done anything quite so dirty as what he’s doing right now. She’s never heard of a man putting his mouth on a woman like that, but as she moans and squirms under Javert’s tongue, she wishes he’d never stop. He draws circles and patterns with his tongue, all while his fingers move inside her.

Javert works her body meticulously to an orgasm, building her up slowly and steadily until she finds release on his hands and mouth. He hums approvingly against her cunt, before pulling away, his eyes taking her in. 

He doesn't say anything, but begins to settle them both into bed. She takes the nightdress he offers her, and crawls beneath the thick blankets that cover his bed. She watches him curiously as he undresses. Javert's long, sharp lines are only more pronounced without his imposing uniform. 

He catches her staring, but says nothing, only continues to change his clothes. Despite what he's just done to her, the still unmarried, virgin girl inside her is ashamed to be caught looking at her husband in such a way. 

As he moves into bed beside her, she hesitantly moves closer to him, seeking not only his warmth, but also affection. Javert has never denied her any such affection in their bed, and she has no reason to think that he will reject her. Yet, she does hesitate before reaching out and placing a palm on his chest.  

He looks startled, but moves closer to let her rest her head on his chest. 

"Are you quite all right?" He says softly. 

She nods. "I-I don't understand why I liked that so much."

He hums in acknowledgement, and begins to stroke the soft skin of her arm with his thumb. "Do you need to know?"

"I suppose not. Why did you do it?" 

"I was frustrated, I suppose. That was why I was initially so rough, and realizing you liked it was just fuel to the fire," he reflects quietly. Javert is not usually the sort of man to reflect aloud on his own feelings, but something is different tonight.  

"I liked what you did with your mouth," she says shyly. 

“Mhm, I could tell.” He hides a small smirk as she tilts her head up to look at him.

"Go to sleep," he instructs her, kissing her forehead softly. "I'll be gone when you wake up."

#javert x reader #javert x oc #i am going to hell #cannot believe i am typing these tags in wow #oops my finger slipped

[goodthingscomeinthrees]

+

#i am #i swear to GOD #i didn't realize you could autofill your queue tag in xkit #wow i cannot believe #thank you allison #for saving me from typing that thing SO MANY TIMES #AND TAG BUNDLES

[cal-tastrophe]

Five different Fandoms, five different ships

Well I got tagged by wonderful @piecesofeden11. So where shall I start?

MerriCal (Star Wars) Well, what can I say? Other than Cal Kestis is my favorite Jedi, and Merrin is such a wonderful character by his side? A match made by the Force. I really like the years of slowburn in their relationship, and now I am anxious to see what the third and final installment of the game will do to my love for them, and ultimately my heart.

Stucky (Marvel's Captain America) 'til the end of the line. That is a promise those two men made to each other not even time itself could tear apart. Or Hydra. Unfortunatly though the screenwriters at Disney's managed. I will ignore this outcome of Steves and Buckys Story 'til the end of my own line, for sure.

Nero/Kyrie (Devil May Cry) One Game-series that I enjoy from the very first day since it released in 2001 (and yes, I also enjoyed the remake very much). Oh wow, I know and love this franchise for 24 years now! Kyrie and Nero though joined the fray in the fourth installment seven years later in 2008 and this game holds a special place in my heart. I knew it by heart back then. Kyrie is Neros greatest strenght and the reason he is still human. It's a cute and almost too sweet to bare relationship. Nero needs it!

Gallavich (Shameless) I just love them! They are gay-icons, went through a lot of shit together, and were actually the only characters having a really happy ending- in my eyes. Nothing to add here, Gallavich is love!

Rude/Reno (Final Fantasy VII) Those TURKS are so gay for each other, and I am perfectly fine with that! I cannot imagine Rude without Reno, or Reno without Rude. Force, they don't even function properly without their "partner". And having written all of this down, I notice that 4 of 5 pairs include a ginger. I always had a special type obviously...

I tag @tomatette, @buttsneaks, @deathclassic, @believe-in-alderaan and everyone who feels like doing it :D

#Star Wars #Gallavich #Devil May Cry #Final Fantasy #Stucky

[is-the-owl-video-cute]

I do love people calling the dogfood post "dangerous misinfo" when all I said was that proplan and hill's are both price gouged. When most of the main ingredients of a dogfood are corn I'm sorry but they should be cheap because corn is cheap. When most of the meat is just chicken meal, the food should not cost 30% more than food with more expensive ingredients.

That's all I was saying, and pointing out dog foods in that price range without corn and dog foods with similar ingredients that are cheaper. If you think any of that is dangerous please log off for a moment. Willfully misinterpreting a post and just... assuming I was advocating completely grain-free diets when all I said was that dogs don't need large amounts of corn in their diets is incredibly reactionary and bad faith, and I know it's bad faith because I didn't have a single one of the "concerned" dogblr folk tell me why I was wrong. They just started throwing a fit and blocking me, which is frankly insane for those who claim to be in the vet field.

If your goal is not education, and is instead shaming and discrediting those who disagree with you, I genuinely am unsure what you hope to gain by running the sort of blogs you do. There's a reason I don't find viral owl posts and say "WOW op I cannot beLIEVE you would POST such blatant misinformation on owls, blocked" because that does not provide anyone with any meaningful insight on what the problem is. There's a reason I say "that perch will cause the owl to develop a serious and eventually fatal form of pododermatitis" or "the owl in that video is in distress and you can tell because of x, y, and z", because telling the why is how you help people see your perspective, understand your concerns, and potentially change their stance. Just shouting at them over and ignoring when they ask what the problem was accomplishes nothing other than tell everyone that you did not like the post. It says nothing to why and just asks people to in blind faith listen to what you have to say on the subject. Which will work for your peers perhaps, but it doesn't actually debunk anything or make anyone the wiser.

As this is a space for education, I would be more than receptive to actual discussion on it, but the pervasive culture in online spaces is for some reason just to jump to hostility immediately and assume that someone who has an opinion will never change it if offered new information. You can't change my mind on proplan being expensive, I can look at a price tag and say "wow, what a lot of money that costs!", but if you know some secret reason a company as wealthy as purina MUST charge that high of a price for corn, do tell. If corn is secretly an essential ingredient to keep dogs' bones from melting or something, do tell. Otherwise, if you're the type who's just going to whine about how I'm a threat to dogs anywhere for saying every dog doesn't NEED proplan, bite me.

[vtforpedro]

update- TWs in tags

Thank you all very much for your replies to my last post. I’ve had zero energy this past week and yesterday was a very hard day. Got my decision in the mail and wow, they sure are long. It’s not good, folks!!! Not good at all. This guy is an SSA shill and I’m flabbergasted. Hopefully my attorney gets back to me next week asap because not only do I have grounds for an appeal, I believe I’ve been denied my rights by law. Some highlights from his decision. They’re very painful to read and my case manager way back in November of 2021 said that they love to tell people they’re disabled but here’s why you can work. Basically what this dude did but I’m seriously confused and angry. I think it also speaks to the type of person and biases he has. -I meet the disability insurance thing, as in he considers my record to start back in October 2015, which is how my attorney laid it out. And it’s true because that’s the last time I was able to work. -I am severely limited and cannot perform the work I once did. The work I once did was, uh, retail/customer service, and a ‘stay at home’ job if you will by being a caregiver to a veteran (my ex). -My disabilities as the SSA listed them: chiari malformation, leukemia, major depressive disorder recurrent, severe, PTSD w/dissociative affects, headache, s1 radiculopathy (nerve damage), and idiopathic intracranial hypertension (IIH, my number one enemy) -Chiari and leukemia aren’t considered disabilities, which I knew they wouldn’t be. I’m in remission and people often work with debilitating cancers even tho they should absolutely not have to. Let’s begin with what he got wrong lol -He dates that I got an EMG done in March of 2022 before the lumbar puncture. I did not get an EMG until September of 2022. The LP was in April of 2022. -Nerve damage. I have zero evidence of nerve damage in my medical record, according to him. Zero. I do not have a single symptom to suggest nerve damage and I need at least one from both ‘categories’ the SSA lists. But I have none. I was bedbound for eight months because of nerve damage. I had noted swelling (with pictures) of my paraspinal muscles which might have contributed. I had an EMG because of nerve pain. My dr ordered an EMG because of nerve pain. Shooting pain down my leg and numbness/tingling. Also the severe pain in my lower back causing me to not be able to sit up or walk without excruciating pain 💀 I was referred by my neuro to a pain specialist who really wanted to do steroid shots in my lumbar region FOR NERVE PAIN. I was in physical therapy for months to relearn how to like walk and sit up but also for NERVE PAIN. Legit have no words. It’s noted in my neuro’s and his PA’s file about the radiculopathy explaining what happened to me finally. Hhhhhh. -MDD/PTSD/suicidal ideation. I have extensive medical records going back to 2015--NPs, therapists, my psychiatrist, and the neuro psych eval I had in Sept of 2021 + more since. The eval is one of my most important medical documents. He said the medical evidence did not support major depression/anxiety/PTSD for 2+ years with no improvement, which is not factual. My medical records from my NP in 2015-2017 show how many medications I was on that did not work. How long I was in therapy because it did not work. My current psychiatrist is on my side and tells me every time I see him that I’ve been on everything and we’re limited lol I believe this summer I will be with him for two years alone. The judge notes I have no medical evidence of panic attacks despite them being listed in my medical record. At most of these places. Again. Plus the ER at the very beginning discuss panic attacks. This man read my neuro psych eval where she diagnosed me with those MH disorders (beyond already being diagnosed elsewhere). This is an intimately personal document because it details a SA that occurred in 2012 plus the abuse my ex put me through for 2yrs, which made me unable to work starting in 2015. She noted high concern for my well being as my suicidal ideation is, uh, high lmao and the effects of PTSD from multiple traumatic things. He said there is no evidence in my medical record beyond a depressive and anxious mood which do not fit the bill for MH disabilities. He completely ignored the neuro psych eval (and everything else) so I think that speaks volumes of the type of person he is. -IIH. This is where I get very angry. He lists it as something I was diagnosed with and it was in consideration, yet he completely fails to consider it. He considered ‘headaches’. Not IIH, not multi-feature chronic migraines that are well documented, not the recommended brain shunt by my neurosurgeon if pressure was high, which it was. He is, by SSA law, supposed to argue for/against the conditions listed. He didn’t. -Allegations. He says that the “allegations” I have made don’t completely match my medical records by, like, existing or severity. Except the things that he says I alleged but are not supported are because of IIH. Which he had plenty of medical evidence of + the burden of deciding I meet criteria for disability is on the SSA at this point. He has to by law complete my medical record himself once it goes to him (almost a year ago) so he has the entire picture to make an accurate and fair judgment. He says I allege symptoms not endorsed by medical record but they are symptoms of IIH lmao -He implies I lied (”allegations”). He said that in my records it has been noted I stopped driving once all this happened (dec 2019) and have not driven since. It is noted *everywhere*. But he says that I indicated I drove one (1) time in December 2021. Obviously, this is not true and I have no idea where he got this from. My mom was pissed because she has driven me everywhere for 3+ yrs lmao I have a feeling someone misheard me say dec 2019 for dec 2021, so the judge thinks this makes me a liar. He completely ignored the vocational expert’s testimony in the opposite way I have read happens--narrowing me down to 1 job, then 0, but deciding himself I could perform jobs like ‘mail clerk, router, or marker’ whatever the fuck those last two are. A dr who reviewed my case (I didn’t even know they did lkafaja) said I could only have occasional interactions with people. The judge said that he felt that was not true and increased it to frequent. I don’t trust people. At all. I never want to make friends irl again because it feels way too fucking vulnerable. This is in my medical records. Anyway. I truly believe I have grounds for an appeal b/c of mistakes he made and I hope my attorney agrees with that. The judge is not supposed to fuck up dates or ignore medical evidence entirely in his judgment. BY LAW. Angry, hurt, tired. Why does this keep happening to me lol why can one thing not go right but instead everything always gets worse. I feel like I try to put good out into the world when I can but it spits on me in return. I want to give up.

#vtforpedro personal #vtforpedro medical #mentioned abuse and SA noted by a medical record #mental health stuff re disability decision #does anyone know disability law lol #in the great us of a #i'm so tired

[chattingwiththelightkeeper]

Blocked

I normally do not start a post by tagging, in fact, I rarely tag, but I will with this one. @reflectedtruthsblog and @wickedlysexy1212 both recently replied to a post of mine by discussing how blocking in regards to 144 is on their mind and is something they have been talking about and I am sure there are many more people having conversations about this. So I want to take some time and share my thoughts on all of this. I realize this will be a long post but for me to share my thoughts, I cannot find a way to make it brief but I hope I can make my points clearly and calmly. My intent is not to inflame passions but simply express my thoughts on blocking and in my Paul Harvey voice, “The rest of the story”. I also want to say that I am only speaking for myself, so please I do want anyone here in Tumblr-land to think I am speaking on behalf of anyone. I am just sharing my thoughts in this post. I have not spoken to or with anyone about this, the following is me sharing what is on my mind.

To start with, I tried to think about what it would be like for me if I were to share something that caused me to suffer trauma, do so on the internet, and then have someone in a leadership position in a group that I used to a part of, say that 144 feels that I should not be believed because I was suffering from mental illness. I think this was the first “official” acknowledgment (I could be incorrect on it being the first) from someone close to 144 which was the post from BG1972 who said they had spoken to 144 and his view was those who were sharing their truths were suffering from mental illness, in a bad place, and needing prayers. To me, it is just unacceptable to respond with those who are sharing their truths should not be believed because they are suffering from mental illness. If it was me, I would be upset is the word that pops to mind but it would be so much more and a deeper pain than the word upset conveys.

Once again, if this were me, I would probably go on a blocking binge in an attempt to protect myself. Maybe both @reflectedtruthsblog and @wickedlysexy1212 did not like, comment, or in any way be part of any of this post (I have no idea as I am blocked), perhaps they do not even consider themselves part of “the tribe” but like many people saw a post from someone in “the tribe” that resonated and they liked and/or reblogged it. This might mean you were blocked in what I would call preemptive self-preservation based on my experience with some people associated with the 144’s group.

My experience, which I talked about in this post, happened back when I considered BG-72 a friend however that all blew up when I shared my belief that a d-type who is married and cheating should never earn a person’s submission. I argued that the community needed to call these people out because many are predators using dominance to hunt for kinky bow-chicka-wow-wow on the side or “down-low”. For me, how can someone who is supposed to lead a relationship where honesty is a cornerstone head up a partnership that has dishonesty built right in? I was shocked at how quickly members of “the tribe” as well as those around the fringes who were once friendly suddenly shunned me, fired off nasty grams, or worse. These came “anonymously” to my ask box or from a “blank” blogs. At the time I did not switch my anonymous box off (I should have done it sooner and finally did).

I received messages that ran the gamut from the typical profanity-laced tirade (you f’ing this, you f’ing that) to people saying they were going to “out” me to my employer and my personal favorite (meaning this has stuck with me, unfortunately) “you are the result of a botched broken beer bottle abortion. I hope you die fucker.” Perhaps this last one stuck because it showed the sender read some of my thoughts. After all, I love to use alliteration and I do want to share that I am pro-choice, so this did not stick because somehow it offended a belief.

What I did not know at the time when I shared my married and cheating d-type beliefs passionately (I could have/should have dialed my passion down in hindsight) was that 144 either was still or had just divorced. I did not know I was calling out the leader of this group causing some to want to tar and feather me. I remember turning to a friend and expressing shock at what was coming my way and their reply, “you know 144’s married, right?” was stunning as I had never even considered that he was because of the advice he gave about married and unfaithful folks but at that point everything made sense. Looking back, it is apparent to me now that I was not been attacked because of my view or that I strongly defended it but the abuse being thrown at me was because it was a  perceived assault on this group’s leader.

So if I was a person who was in or around the tribe, found myself involved with 144, and then was going to share my truth, I would be aware of the hostility and scorn that would be heading my way and, once again, if it were me, I most certainly would use and liberally apply the block button. Especially since sharing my truth would be uncovering trauma and the nasty notes I was sure to receive would not be helpful, to put it mildly.

I do need to once again just share this friendly reminder, I am speaking just for myself and sharing my opinion. I have not spoken to anyone who has shared their truths about blocking.

So if you are wondering, what the truths that have been shared are, the incredibly oversimplified version and in my words (no one else’s) is 144 took advantage of young, new, submissives. If the s-type discovered he was married, the submissive was led to believe his wife, once again my words here was an invalid whom he was caretaking for out of duty/dedication. Not as more recently stated by 144, a wife struggling with their mental health. All the while he was doing this he was speaking out against those involved in a relationship that involved age gaps, dominants who take advantage of submissives in vulnerable spaces/places, as well those d-types who were married and being dishonest. In doing all this 144 was not only breaking the trust of those s-types who trusted him intimately, but also breaking the trust of the community he had set himself up as the leader of. Please remember this is oversimplified and expressed in my words, no one else’s.

So back to the blocking, I believe some people out in the Tumblrverse feel because those who have stepped forward to share their truths have blocked people they are being “shady” or even dishonest. Perhaps, to some, it lessens the impact of what is being shared. To that, I have to say I disagree, as I feel that much of the blocking is rooted in self-preservation, as these submissives attempt to shield themselves from the notes of condemnation and vileness they surely have received.

If I have not talked to anyone about blocking nor the possibility of despicable notes, how can I assume the submissives who have shared their truths are receiving them? Easy answer, because I have received a few because I showed support. Thus, in my mind, it is logical to assume these submissives have collected spiteful messages in their inboxes.

@reflectedtruthsblog and @wickedlysexy1212 I want to thank you for sharing your thoughts about blocking and doing so honestly and kindly. I am sure there are more people than the two of you that have been thinking about or perhaps even discussing this but appreciate you doing so in a place where I could see it because this “blocking thing” does go both ways. Many people who are part of 144’s group have chosen to block me for what I have shared about this subject. Perhaps I have failed in trying to stay somewhat even in the thoughts I have expressed but the one thing I do know is that I have only blocked those who have sent crass messages or those blogs “That Are Empty, Have No Avatar And/Or Description, Full Of Porn And/Or Politics Will Be Blocked”. The last bit in quotes has been my standard procedure for years plus it is stated in my blog’s description, therefore this is nothing new for me.

Should someone reading this be unable to see some of the posts being shared on 144, I have two thoughts on how to find them, should reading them be something important. What I think is the easiest solution, search Tumblr for 144 or whatever his new blog is. Not only will you find his posts but you should also find all of the other ones since they were always tagged, just search with the # before the blog names to scroll the hashtags. There I am sure you will discover the posts you want because they will be reblogged by someone who has not done any blocking but hashtagged the posts.

The other idea I have is to create a secondary account with a different email address. Two reasons I suggest this, first, it will allow you to see all the posts you might be blogged from, but also, if your content on Tumblr is important to you, it will allow you to “back up” your posts by reblogging your content to this separate and non-linked account should something happen to your primary blog.

I think there are a few things I should share, just because I think it is important for anyone who has read this to understand.

No one who shared their truths about 144 is a friend nor are we friendly (friendly means we occasionally chat) and until they stepped forward, bravely, I had never interacted with them. Since then there have been no conversations other than me thanking them for speaking up, them thanking me for my support, and me asking permission to write about something mentioned in one of their posts which was granted. I feel it is important to know there is no personal connection behind the thoughts I have shared on my blog other than my own beliefs. In other words, I am not sticking up for friends but rather I am standing up for strangers.

If it matters, and perhaps it may to some, I want to include a few links to my posts that relate to everything being discussed:

I have shared two posts sharing my thoughts on this in addition to this post, with those located here, for the first, and here, for the second.

In this post, I wrote about what I call “assumed relationships” and how, for me, this theory of 144 is faulty and perhaps helped him do what he did. This post is here and is the post referenced above where I asked for and received permission.

Back in 2018, I wrote about my belief that the community could do a better job of supporting those who step forward to share their truths. This post is here and will help explain why I choose to stand with strangers.

These last links get to two of the things that 144 was disingenuous with the community about, age gap relationships, and married/cheating both written before any of this came to light. My thoughts are here for age gaps and here for married and dishonest d-types.

I want to add that if someone reading this happens to be in “the tribe” or even just around the edges, it must be a complete shock that someone that was looked up to and seemed to offer such sage advice could have people come forward, share their truths which may feel to you is against all 144 professed to stand for and thus is unbelievable. Sadly, my experience tells me to believe it. In my time blogging, this is the second community leader to have the same thing happen to them. Had 144 said something other than the first to step forward was suffering a mental health crisis, gaslighting them, and then claiming the victim owed him (Per his own words, he helped them out so they owe him), and then deciding to walk away, I would not be sharing this today. Perhaps, there has been new information from his camp but since the blocking goes both ways, I am not privy to it, nor at this point am I going to invest in seeking it out. I am just going to put my head down, and continue to do my thing as I know I have shared my views as well as I know how. No matter the community, vanilla or kink, rifts, leaders behaving badly, and people disappearing happen. Groups come and they go. I do wish that everyone who admires and enjoyed the tribe can find a fit for themselves going forward in a positive, friendly, and empowering group made up of amazing people or perhaps it will morph into something better. I do not feel that everyone who is part of this group is “bad” however some bad apples did poison the tree so to speak. I also know some will choose to see what they wish and no other person’s truth will impact theirs. This too is part of life.

So I will end with something I have said before, I am writing this not because I am a saint, above reproach but due to the fact I am a flawed human who has f’d up a billion times. Some of my screw-ups make me an asshat to some (and rightfully so), yet with that said, it does not change that I believe those who pursue and choose to set themselves up as community leaders should never bully, use mental (or physical) health as a weapon, and finally if you are going to lead anything, when you extend your hand to help someone up, it should not be followed by holding out your other hand out for some sort of payment or repayment.

As with all of my writings, please see this disclaimer.

©TLK2022

[makeroomforthejolyghost]

right so that moment has passed and now it turns out i do want to discuss my thoughts in some more detail lmao

like ok to be fair i'm an outsider to all this; i am not and never have been active in cpunk or -adjacent spaces. and i definitely feel like i have not seen the epicenter of this whole drama, since like. in browsing random disability blogs i have in the last week encountered multiple people whose posts for months have been 90% complaining about This Shit, and yet i have not encountered very much of the Shit in question at all?

like. i've seen a whole bunch of posts that go something like, "i can't believe abled NDs* have the gall to call us ableist bullies just for saying that chronic illness and autism are different experiences!", or like, "no matter how clear i make it that i'm talking about physical disability, all my posts end up with a billion notes tagged 'adhd' or 'depression' or whatever. why they gotta make everything about them! let us keep something to ourselves for once!", &/or c. usually in that order. but like... without the obvious middle stage where they argue on their blogs with actual objectors to this "let this be just for us" plea. so like maybe they've deleted most of those posts, or maybe the central example is on some cpunk bnf's blog which i just haven't happened to click on yet. idk. but my point is

that from my outsider's perspective it feels like a huge and sudden escalation? to have gone from "ugh not every post has to be about you; read the actual words i wrote, don't just pretend they said something else that you like better!" to, like, "in case you needed more proof that all abled NDs are ableist scum" rallying-the-troops type posts

and wow! i hate it! i cannot actually imagine a level of vitriol from The Other Side that would justify this bullshit.

i want, like?--i sorta hope that somewhere i've missed there's like, a long manifesto from the aforementioned (hypothetical) cpunk bnf about why they and their friends have suddenly decided that neurodivergent people don't count as disabled. even if i probably wouldn't agree with it, i'm still like. that should exist. you can't just start Asserting stuff like that, at people you know will take offense, without explaining anywhere why you've adopted these different discourse norms.

(or i mean--you can, but if you're not trying to escalate conflict then you really shouldn't.)

but.......... also it makes sense. not morally! but. logically. it seems to be a common problem with any echo-chambery discursive space? i remember when i was ~18-21 and much more Online, i would drink some shiny new kind of SJ koolaid and then forget within weeks that people who hadn't drunk that koolaid didn't know what it tasted like.

e.g. after that post that's like (i'm paraphrasing) "the expression 'boys will be boys' should be replaced with 'bad parenting leads to assholes'" got super popular, for years whenever i heard someone say "boys will be boys" i assumed they were either endorsing or deliberately mocking the sexist baggage with which i associate that phrase. when... no, pal; it's a common phrase. you have zero information about what it signifies in random strangers' minds

so like, i'm guessing that's what's gone on here? like like like, backing up a bit: i sympathize with and frequently feel for myself these people's rancor about mental illness (and, though to a much lesser extent, autism and adhd) being the public face of disability. and particularly the thing where like--

ten or fifteen years ago, when i first encountered awareness-raising activism about mental illness, a lot of it took the form of "you wouldn't download a car"-type comparisons with injury, illness, and/or central examples of physical disability. as in, like, rebuffing "your [mental illness accommodation] is just a crutch!" with "imagine telling someone on actual crutches that they shouldn't rely on a crutch" &c.

when what their intuition told them was about physical vs. mental or visible vs. invisible illness was really more about acute vs. chronic illness.**

and like a. this mistake is very annoying, since it leads to a lot of mentally ill/invisibly ill people assuming incorrectly that physically disabled/visibly ill people don't get doubted and belittled the same way they do, when uhhhh guess again.

but also b. it means that while from my perspective it seems super mega obvious that mental illness is the public face of disability in 2023, many people who care a whole lot about activist efforts on behalf of mental illness but who don't know much about other kinds of disability activism still, erroneously, inexplicably think that the reason they don't see as many campaigns like this for other kinds of disability is because physically disabled people are seen/accepted already and don't need to fight for that the way mentally ill people did/still do.

when like.

...this is such a tiny example but i'm bitter about it so: the other day on my university campus i saw a fundraising booth about support for mental illness. you can't log in to our canvas page without seeing a mental health hotline pop up in the corner. nearly every professor i've had here has at some point gone on a tangent about how important it is to support mental health. many times we've had little impromptu class discussions about the unique struggles faced by people with (always this phrase) "invisible illnesses like depression." my school is really really loud about how much it cares about student mental health.*** and i don't think any of these people know that when i encounter these pronouncements i feel like my own experience has been overlooked

so yes, ok? it pisses me off also when mentally ill/neurodivergent awareness-raisers, activists, and people generally think it's like. an underdog move. punching up, if you will. to reblog posts about chronic pain/other phsyical disability and add "this can apply to mental illness, too!" as if that's a mindblowing revelation to us stuckup, old-guard invalids when like. y-yeah, we know that mental illness also sucks. many of us (raises hand) experience it ourselves, and even if we haven't? we too have seen the internet. the mental illness experience is way more legible to the general public than ours is, so it's really fuckin annoying when people co-opt descriptions of our experience to be about theirs.

but like. the fact you (a physically disabled blogger) have now had this conversation with your (also physically disabled and blogging) friends doesn't mean you get to treat people who weren't in on that conversation like hopeless reactionaries??? this is like me in 2012 seeing the term "friend zone" as a red flag no matter who flew it, even though 2011 me had used that term nonjudgmentally and had no inkling of its entitled/sexist undertones.

like i can remember the exhaustion of communicating with waves of internet strangers who can't be bothered to backread your blog a few pages before commenting on some viral post but. th-that is the thing that's occurring here?? multiple waves of people who, each, individually, see something that without context looks inflammatory. not one wave of pigheads who refuse to listen.

*their term, not mine. don't like this at all myself. see previous post

**though to be fair, i don't doubt that plenty of otherwise-healthy people have been accused of "attention seeking" even for, like, a sprained ankle. or for still audibly sniffling when they come back to work after having had the flu. some people are just....? dicks? just dicks. if you can imagine a bad behavior, it's probably common somewhere.

****does this decrease the rate of mental illness in our student body? hahahaha no, probably not

#things i should hate thursdays

[convxction]

What drew you to Chrom originally?

For munday send in a question in for the mun to answer. On or off anon. | accepting | @pieman1112

to answer truthfully or not

ok ok. my first time writing chrom was ... *opens old multi muse blog* 8 years ago... March 13, 2014. at that time i did not have a 3ds so i didnt play awakening but for some reason i just liked chrom and gaius without playing the game. i looked at them and i was like yep these two looks fun to write them. tbh i had a mutual who had a custom avatar and i think (not sure i cant tell because old blog and weird tags and dumblr not showing everything) i added gaius first ? then chrom the next day maybe. knowing my like for thieves it was obvious to add gaius at some point even without playing the game. i did the thing i dont like in rp XDD adding muses you are not that familiar with and fuck with their character because ehe~ but let me defend myself. i tried my best to not go ‘ehe’ mode. looking at some posts they are not that far from ic tbh not like.. bragging or anything ;sweat; but y-yeah. dont look at my grammar and typo mistakes please. ahaha;;;;; 

but yeah i believe i read the wiki page from chrom and was i like mhm interesting. will he dethrone ephraim tho????? shhh. i liked his characteristics of being honest, straightforward and looking after his friends (i am as you know weak to nakama.) it is funny that i knew lucina was marth already but it didnt affect the experience to me when i played it because lucina is good. fight me. she was written mwah. chef kiss. now i hope for more actually chapters for lucina alone, her POV when she came to the world and the two year time skip and all but eh. we can do that with writing XD

anyway what am i writing sheesh i got distracted. 

ok so i stopped using my old blog and moved to single blogs and chrom was abandoned with other muses lol. UNTIL WARS AND ARPH CAME AND BEING THE SIN FRIENDS THEY ARE I MADE CHROM BLOG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉

exhibit A

listen. they talked me into this (wars you cannot sue me. i have the naga and the crystal by my side.) ok i got influenced so easily lmao so i made chrom blog solely to write RIsen King Chrom with Arph’s Henry and bother Wars on whatever blog she was on lmao. Just pure angst threads and i didnt expect anyone would find my chrom and write with me or anything but uh...here we are, in a new blog when i noticed that ‘hey ...um people actually...might....like...like like my chrom??? wow. not just shenanigans and dumb posts??? wow ..wild.’ so yeah i had to move to a new blog--here!!! and start actually serious ...pfft...s-serious....pf...AAAAAAAAHAHAH SERIOUS PLOTTING MWAHAHAABAABABABABAHAHAHABGAGAGA!!! ok but compared to my old blog yeah this is serious....ish pfft.

so yeah thats the story of me and this dumb blue lord. thank you for coming to my ted talk. it probably did not answer your question but heck i dont know. i found him, i adopted him, and that’s the story. (whisper i found he was voiced by tomokazu sugita and he was a keeper forever. i didnt know mat merc but i knew sugita-san and i love him so much so duuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuh. gotta love me sugita muses)

 ahem. short answer: that stupid himbo smile+opening scene +cool hair+sick moves+tomokazu sugita. mhm.  one think i must add because shay pointed it: dark haired swordsman with sibling issues is my muse type apparently. which i dont believe so. i dont have that type nope. nooope.

#⚔ooc.⚔ (faty speaks) #pieman1112 #[ i will not be made fun for my choices.

[josiebelladonna]

if daveigh/greendruidess/whatever she goes by now is discouraged from writing in the wake of the infamous incident... i want every single one of you to know that i am fully responsible for

my own little world over here because the fact she couldn’t sort out her own shit before she got to writing three years ago has absolutely nothing to do with me and never did, either. i’ve said this before but the only reason i ever bring her up in the last year or so anymore is to make fun of the whole thing. when you’ve been through enough bullshit in life, you learn to laugh at things (and it’s even better if you find the right people to laugh along with).

i mention this because, just out of morbid curiosity just now, i checked her ao3 profile: aside from like loving the dead, she hasn’t updated any of her other wips since february. and my first thought was “wow, that’s... horribly depressing.” shit, i feel bad that i haven’t touched xenon dreams since january and to be frank, i can’t believe it’s been that long, especially with my love of sci-fi and whatnot.

i’ve said this before, too: i do feel bad for her and when this whole thing started, i genuinely didn’t want to go through with it. i think i always will, too (i have too much of a heart, hating is not in my nature, contrary to what she might tell you) and it always kills me to hear about someone giving up something they loved doing because someone else gave them hell of a tongue-lashing. it’s a fear that’s way too common and all too real in the art world, in particular. so many people have given up or will give up because of criticism and it’s something that so many artists fear as well: including me! that was a big fear of mine for years, and in fact, i still feel it. i always clam up whenever i get any comments on anything, not just a piece of art. but at the same time, i also think, wow. your ego was far more fragile than i realized. especially when i remember just how out-of-touch she is.

(and just for some perspective, i consider myself way out-of-touch because yesterday was the first time in... jeez, i don’t even know how long, since i last wandered over to the type o tag just to see what’s going on over there. i’ve been laying low on ao3 lately, aside from the updates and the odd kudos here and there. i haven’t scoured a tag in weeks: writing several thousand words in an afternoon takes a lot out of you and i’ve been focusing on moving lately, so i just haven’t been able to). apparently, she has it in her head that i’m calling people out left and right for stealing, and moreover, she’s addressing me in quite literally the most passive-aggressive way possible.

well... first of all, obviously not. i have way better things to do and it’s really something you have to be on guard for: you don’t go out of your way to scold someone for that, no one does unless they’re actually the victim of it. i’ve lamented how it seems totally bass-ackwards now, that the thieves are the ones to defend and the artist/writer/creator is the one to receive bullshit, and tumblr is an utter bastion for that behavior (why do you think so many artists on here add “do not repost” to their art?), but i’m just sitting here scratching my head at that.

i do remember that chapter of like loving the dead she posted back on my birthday in april, and i have no doubt it was in response to me trying to talk to her last summer to cool things down a bit. the whole vibe of that was she thinks i’m a hater because she’s got a popular fic.

look, there’s a lot of things i don’t like, but i cannot bring myself to hate another person, no matter shitty or toxic they are (and i couldn’t be bothered with things like hits or likes, either, i stopped caring about that during my hiatus and wattpad completely killed it for me).

i actually don’t even hate her at all. i hate that she condones horrible behavior like plagiarism and shameless copying/taking and doesn’t see anything wrong with it. i hate her attitude and how it’s apparently too much to ask of her to throw her weight around (the way she sits in my memory is she looks like regina george in about 30 years but with red hair). i hate how she brags all the time and also her sense of entitlement that’s apparently only gotten worse with time, and i couldn’t help but react to it in the past, either. but as a person, though? no way. you couldn’t pay me money to hate her as a person.

if you ask me, she’s the real hater here. she’s still thinking about that incident and talking about it two years later when there was absolutely no reason to (hell, there was no reason for it six months afterwards). yeah, dead man walking is my side of the story, no doubt about that, but it’s got way more purpose than that: it’s a story that i’ve wanted to write for a long time now and i finally found the opportunity to do so with the events that happened between me and her - i needed a moral or an underlying theme of some sort (it is rated teen and up, after all 😉). she’s just vitriolic and browbeating and projecting onto me, and all i can say is is grudges are fucking stupid.

i got my anger out immediately after it happened through my st. anger drawings, the dead trilogy, and the remainder of my at land’s end series. aside from the odd outburst along the way, i said everything i needed to say and i put it to bed, especially when alex entered my life. i don’t hold grudges, and i’ve never been able to, either.

it literally blows my mind how way too many people on here are like “i have a grudge against this person/i resent this person” and don’t see anything wrong with it. grudges are, at their core, completely petty and pointless and they only end up destroying you, the bearer of the grudge, in the end. really, imagine yourself 5/10/15 years from now, still feeling angry at the other person over something stupid that they let go of right away. you’re going to look so ridiculous and you’re going to wish for that time back, as well. grudges are not just stupid and pointless: they’re sad. like, this is going to be your legacy, man. forget everything else, this is how i’m always going to remember you. was it really worth it in the end? you can’t help but feel bad for the person with the grudge... but you also can’t, because hey, you were the one who stayed angry all this time, not me. i was just trying to live my life, unlike you, letting your anger cloud your vision and swell up your ego to the size of the earth.

when that incident happened (if you don’t know: i was just trying to be friendly with her during anthrax’s livestream from wacken during quarantine - you know. fellow fangirl to another. innocuous fun stuff in a world gone horribly wrong - and over here, she was getting all up in arms about someone annoying and obnoxious, and when she blocked me on here and on wattpad was when i realized she was referring to me), and i looked back on her behavior (which is how i found out her plagiarism in the first place), i saw right away that she’s all-talk and no-walk, but it’s being magnified big time now because she refuses to let go of anger and she’s made it her persona, too. she can go as dark and gothic as she wants: i’m always going to look at her name and think “angry, bitter person.”

i clearly don’t even give a shit about any of this anymore, and i haven’t since the end of 2020, either. i can barely be bothered to go through the type o tag anymore, or any fic tag for that matter because fandom as a whole has followed her lead. aside from things happening on my end, it’s hard to find fic (particularly band fic) on ao3 anymore that feels like it was written from a good place. it’s all clique-y and snide and hard to understand and gives me a headache and i don’t know if tiktokification of everything in existence now is to blame or not.

like i said, if she (or anyone else) throws in the towel, it’s not my call to make and it never was, either. you’re the one driving the ship: i’m just the madwoman in the attic.

#saying this on the heels of the latest couple of chapters of dead man walking #daveighmustaine #xxgreendruidessxx #fanfic woes #fic woes #ao3 authors #text #grudges are dumb #let this be a lesson

[heartshapedcreaturefromcriptoon]

Wow, Orn for someone who had like an entire bitch baby tantrum and was once pitching a complete, un-ironic “Did you just Assume My Gender?! TM” fit over me accidentally referring to you as “he” during that tagline that I was just too lazy to retype for you after I realized, I cannot believe that you just let your own anon just assume my gender just like that? Who says I’m a girl?! ;) 💋   

So a bimbo passively making fun of blocked losers in the tags of her own blog that said blocked losers have no right to be looking at because they’re blocked is apparently a crime. Again.

I’m not reading your posts in their entirety cause you’re a blocked and boring scuztron, obviously.

No way, Lin Manuel Ellis Walker, why don’t you delete your socials and get a real job instead?

And why does that last lead in before the “read more” that I’ll never be clicking just make it sound like you want to rape me? Ew. 

 And once more with the misgendering too? How do agender incel bot assume I am “She”, huh?  👁 👄 👁

 On second thought, how about Orn and Leeanne don’t put me personally under a microscope and all their anon cronies simply don’t report back to them on every single little thing that I do so that they can still look at my blog even though I blocked them both in April of 2020, hm?

“I feel secondhand embarrassment for that V*vzipop persons ‘show’. The Self Insert Mary Sue Special Snowflake called ‘Charlie’ is a hypocrite and some of Medrano’s concepts could be good if she didn’t execute it so poorly ... I don’t know why she’s so careless and can’t take criticism and she REALLY should be considering the reputation that she’s built for herself as a Known Racist Homophobe and Pedophile Dog Fucker that she continues to worsen with every tweet and passage of her countless ‘Apology Posts’ because it’s just sad.”

“Nevermind, V*vizieshit back with her bullshit again.” 

 No, you ableist grayface you, this is just how hot people treat blocked people who have no right to their respect anymore because they’ve been blocked for over two years.

  They were my friends, they were both boys, and we weren’t dating, and one of them did sex work, you’re literally being misogynistic and whorephobic.

Yeah because they ghosted me and we’re not friends anymore so now I can vent however the fuck I want just like how I can be as mean as fuck as I want to people who complain about being blocked because they have no boundaries.

I’d ask how grayface could take something like “embellishing to fit in” as the worst insult ever but like...  This is the logic of people who follow a sexless, loveless 30+ arsehole who gets mad at 12 year olds for blocking them and thinks that being called a virgin is acephobic. And once again, a person who thinks that “scrutinizing” and “picking apart” other people is completely normal behavior for a human.  

Bitch if I don’t know your name how else am I supposed to make fun of you? You have every excuse to use any of the two names that I’ve provided on my profile and you still can’t do that because you’re still too busy trying to type out my whole entire url in order to dehumanize me  and then complaining that I’m too big for you .  Shut the fuck up.

Honey, this is the Hazbin Hotel fandom, the second my crippled arse got snapped at for saying I hated abled-bodied mentally ill people, calling someone “honey” and then got called “condescending” by an abled-bodied mentally ill virgin for showing that much patience and understanding in the same week, I knew that I was on no ones side but my own. And considering that I had to block you both (I’m considering both Leeanne and Orns anons a hivemind)  three times over in order to get you to stop talking about me, I think the last question answers itself, now doesn’t it?

Did you really just screenshot a post that passively mentions your blocked url but not specifically Leeanne’s? I can’t even vague the given names of people I’ve already had blocked for two years on my own blog and on posts that will not show up in any fandom related tags and have nothing to do with fandom? But you can screenshot that and bring it back into a fandom context to be “discoursed” over? As the blocked person who has no right to be looking at my blog anymore because I went and set that boundary that you’ve both now more than violated? Use a website blocker if you haven’t already for Christs sake, SANSFUCKO!

.... It’s so interesting how you think that someone venting about you on a blog that blocked you in 2020, and venting specifically about how you haven’t left them alone since you first complained about them blocking you in 2020, and have instead of just respecting being blocked kept monitoring me every time I try to vent, about a situation that you were directly involved in and so I have to bring you up to provide people that context even if it’s in passing, is considered, “we’re literally talking”. 

 Now I’m convinced that you wish I could take your turbo virginity .  I DON’T REMEMBER BECAUSE I DON’T GIVE A FUCK ABOUT YOU. 

Now for the last time, I have absolutely no idea what triggered your little mental breakdown about me 9 months ago when you’ve been blocked since 2020 and we literally haven’t talked since the night I hit that button (because blocked people literally talking both around me and at me and trying to block evade me, is not the same as my right to vent about it ) but the fact that you have zero notes on your last screed that I’m not reading speaks volumes.  Good thing I’ll never have to read another from ether of you ever again.

Gorgeous, gorgeous gimps don’t click “readmores” and use website blockers. 

I am, a Gorgeous, gorgeous gimp.  (✿◕‿◕✿)

#Hazbin Hotel #hazbin hypocritical #ornithia #petitprincess1 #Can't believe I'm finally done with these two chuckle chodes .... #And it only took me 84 years and a tripple fucking blocking method #wow. #Anyway download StayFree! ♥️

[heyhihellowhatsup0]

Hooked On Your Feelings - Chapter One (FWB! Tom Holland x Reader)

Prologue

Warnings: Some angst, language, eventual smut in future chapters, fluff

Word Count: 4155

Summary: After a bad breakup, making an agreement with your womanizing neighbor, Tom to be friends with added benefits and no strings attached seemed like the perfect idea. Until things become messy, emotions caused your agreement to crumble.

A/N:   I have been dying to post more so the day is finally here! I am so happy everyone has given my such amazing and sweet feedback! I hope you guys enjoy this chapter. Needless to say, this chapter does have smut! DM me to be tagged and I cannot wait to hear everyone’s thoughts! (Also .gif is not mine. DM me for credit please, I found on google!) Thank you xx -N

You woke up the next morning with your head pounding while the sun hit your eyes as you opened them. Turning on your back you let out a sigh once you realized where you were. The same bed you figured you would be in even though you were hoping it was all a dream and what had happened didn’t actually take place. 

Remaining underneath Tom’s dark and satin sheets since you knew you had nothing on, you pivoted your head upward and saw his eyes opened and staring up at the ceiling. Clearly, neither one of you had any idea how to address what the hell happened between the two of you last night and you certainly weren’t going to be the one to initiate.

Tom licked his lips as he adjusted himself from under the covers. Did he really just sleep with you? Sure, he thought about having that moment with you. Countless times, actually. It was no secret you were breathtakingly beautiful and he always had that fantasy about you. But you were always dating that idiot for whatever reason and Tom always thought you were never into him in that way.

None of it was planned, of course. It just happened. One minute, you were both drinking and just simply there next to each other. The next, Tom and you were stumbling into his bedroom. Laughing in between kisses as you removed one another’s clothes and experiencing what was probably some of the best sex he’d ever had. His entire body was vibrating still from how he had felt and he never in a million years would have even thought you were the least bit interested in him like that. Then again, you were both clearly going through some really weird stuff last night.

You were both vulnerable and feeling things you didn’t want to admit to other people but for some reason, Tom was alright with admitting it to you and you both found a way to get rid of the feeling, even if it was temporary. He didn’t want you to regret it, because he sure as hell didn’t. He certainly wasn’t expecting any of that with you but it was a hell of a night and he was far from complaining about it. He was just worried you regretted it.

A lot could be said in your silence with Tom as you lay there, the both of you now staring up at the ceiling and neither of you were speaking. You couldn’t help but feel a little awkward while you tried to figure out what to say. Do you just thank him for the night and leave? Should you just say you had work and grab your clothes or just maybe not say anything at all? The silence was killing you for a variety of reasons and you were still trying to rack your brain trying to figure out why you initiated the first kiss to begin with. You weren’t drunk at all but for some reason you just wanted it. You wanted him. And in that moment last night, you were glad he wanted you too.

Tom cleared his throat, the stillness between you both was causing a rise in his anxiousness, “Well...we had sex last night,” he stated the obvious as plainly as possible. Maybe he should have just kept his mouth shut.

“Yeah,” you answered in an obvious tone. You held back from your laughter as you pushed your hair out of your face, “I should probably go,” you told him as you tried to cover yourself up with the sheets even though you already knew Tom saw you naked last night. There were no more secrets between you both. Clearly.

Tom sat up from the bed and began looking for his sweatpants to throw on before he started to help you find your clothes across the bedroom floor. He handed you your t-shirt as he politely turned away while you changed, “Do you want coffee or something?” he offered, something he would never offer another girl who stayed the night.

Offering any girl any type of breakfast or anything of the sort automatically made them believe Tom wanted them to stay longer. To go out on a date or to get a phone call from him later. Commitment. So he always avoided it and usually had you kick them out if they couldn’t get the hint. But obviously you were different being that you were a friend who he just so happened to sleep with. He was grateful you were there with him and he’d never dismiss you as quickly. He cared about you in the same ways you cared about him. Neighborly love. Who he happened to be attracted to and vice versa.

“Nah, I’m okay. I have some back at my place,” you answered casually as you grabbed your leggings as Tom handed you one of your shoes, “Thanks,” you said to him with a small smile as you tried not to act like you were rushing out of there.

You tried to make yourself presentable as Tom began to walk you out of the bedroom, unsure if he should thank you for the night or not. You turned to him with a sarcastic smile and pointed towards your messy waves, “Wow, I guess this officially makes me a notch on your belt, huh?” you tried to joke to make it less weird between you two.

“For the record, you are not a notch or anything like that, Y/N,” Tom said sternly to make sure you knew that last night was actually a night he didn’t regret at all, “I uh...actually had a pretty good time,” he felt his cheeks tinge a hint of pink as he admitted that to you. Another thing he knew to never say to a girl he brought home. Ever.

Making a face at him, you breathed out a small laugh while you nodded your head in agreement, “Yeah, I did too,” you told him honestly.

The two of you just stood in the kitchen by Tom’s door for a minute. Waiting for the other person to say something but neither of you did. You rocked back and forth on your heels as Tom slid his hands into his pockets, “This isn't weird, is it?” you questioned in a light tone.

“What? No!?” Tom chuckled nervously. He crossed his arms in front of his chest in an attempt to be nonchalant while the elephant of the deed you two had done remained between you both, “Wh-why-why would it be weird?” he stammered.

Leaning in a bit closer towards him, you narrowed your eyes in on Tom, “We had sex,” you whispered as if somebody else was in the room and could overhear your entire conversation.

Tom copied your motion and leaned in in the exact same way, “I don’t think it’s a secret now,” he teased you with a playful smirk, making you laugh as he pulled away. He gave you a nudge against your shoulder, “It’s only weird if we make it weird, right?” he reminded himself.

Lots of friends sleep together and continue to be friends. This was nothing out of the ordinary. Besides, you were more neighborly than friends. So it was a completely different situation than what typical friends had dealt with in the past. Tom was right, you reminded yourself.

“No weirdness on my end,” you told him with a smile as you held out your palm as if you were swearing in a courtroom, “Promise,” you added with a playful wink.

Tom smiled back, leaning forward to get the door for you but you accidentally mistook his gesture for a hug and wrapped your arm around his neck. You cussed under your breath at your embarrassingly stupid moment while you apologized profusely to Tom as he tried to save the awkwardness by giving you a half-assed hug in return. You tried to hide the wincing your eyes were making from the hug but you knew he noticed. Of course he noticed.

Looking down at the floor because you were now too embarrassed to look in his direction, you said your goodbyes as Tom promised to swing by this week with his usual pizza while you began walking faster towards your apartment. But you didn’t want Tom to think you were that flustered by your interactions that you quite literally ran away to hide out. 

You finally got inside your door and realized everything remained untouched since you had kicked Justin out last night. The bottle of wine was still open and sitting on the counter, the television was still on in the living room and there were still a bunch of clothes he had left behind that you needed to desperately get rid of.

Everything in your apartment remained frozen in time while you felt like you jumped lightyears ahead of it from your one night spent with Tom. It was a strange feeling as you walked over to turn the television off but you didn’t feel angry like you had felt last night. You weren’t exactly over the events that took place with Justin but you were on the path to accepting it and you weren’t sure if Tom had something to do with it or not.

There was no denying that you were still hurting from everything. It was still a fresh wound and you had felt so betrayed from it all, you weren’t sure how you would bounce back from it or if you even would. You never dealt with a breakup as ugly as this one so it was a new feeling for you that you were still trying to wrap your head around.

And even though when you were with Tom for the brief time that you were, it felt like it was almost exactly what you needed last night. You didn’t hold back from him and you were comfortable enough around Tom telling him exactly what you needed. Letting your frustrations and anger out on him and Tom letting his feelings out on you led to an explosion between the two of you that surprisingly left you possibly wanting more.

Wanting more from Tom.

Changing into a fresh outfit from last night, you continued to replay the night over and over again in your mind. It was unexpected to say the least, but not in a bad way. Not by any means. If you thought it was bad or awkward, you probably wouldn’t be standing in front of your closet still thinking about the things Tom made you feel.

He made you forget about the drama, if even for one night. But he still managed to make you think that you didn’t need Justin anymore. Maybe you didn’t need anyone right now other than a simple fix here and there to make you feel good. Maybe something without any strings attached was what you needed right now in order to move on and numb your pain for a bit.

You knew Tom was dealing with his own commitment issues and neither one of you were looking for anything complicated. It may not be the best idea in the world to be thinking about something like this but clearly neither one of you knew how to be alone at the moment. You didn’t really want to be fully alone anyway, and you were both comfortable enough with each other where you could be honest about this stuff. Maybe Tom was right, there shouldn’t be any weirdness between you.

Maybe some great sex and not an ounce of attachment was the elixir to the chaos Justin caused for you. No formalities. No planned out, stuffy dates. No mingling with friends and their significant others. No justin. And certainly no types of feelings that would get you in a mess you clearly weren’t looking for right now.

Just good fucking sex. And...it didn’t hurt that your neighbor might be looking for the same type of thing that you were. At least you had hoped.

And when the thoughts and memories and god, downright blissful remembrances of his touch kept invading your mind, just standing there in your apartment thinking about it wasn’t enough. The anxiousness vibrated through your body and you knew what you might be needing from down the hall.

You pulled on a new t-shirt before grabbing your keys. You had never done anything like this before, what if Tom said no? Maybe it should just remain a one time thing between the two of you. Your nerves were attacking you relentlessly as you locked your door, slipping your key ring around your finger and securing it tightly.

But if Tom could do things like this, what was stopping you? The pure rush of anxiety and adrenaline...but it was stupidly guiding you right back to his door. This was insane. Completely stupid. He’d never agree to this. 

Your mind was telling you to turn around and go back home. But that side of you that you never let come out was saying ‘fuck it. Have some fun for once. You’ve been through enough heartbreak and this is something for you.

The safe way got you hurt. More than once. And as you lifted your hand to tap your knuckles against the door, you knew you were done playing it smart. 

Barely getting through the first knock, the door swung open. You let out a yelp as you practically hit Tom in the face while he almost walked right into you. The two of you running into each other as your bodies slightly crashed into one another.

“Oh shit!” Tom exclaimed as he pulled back with an awkward laugh. He ran a hand through his still messy curls, “I was actually on my way to see you,” he admitted, pressing his lips together as he looked at you in the doorframe.  

You reached up and crashed your lips against Tom’s without warning, “Let’s make a deal,” you told him through your hungry kiss as you began to feel Tom start to kiss you back. He moaned into you as he captured your top lip in between his.

“W-what?” Tom mumbled against your lips once again, bringing you inside of his place as he kicked the door shut. He was surprised this was happening so suddenly. Especially since he was just about to be on his way over to your place to ask you for just about the same thing. He knew it didn’t feel right when you left this morning and it was because he wanted to feel this way again. With you. 

“I can still help with your horrible conquests but...in the meantime, we make up for our shit love lives with damn good sex,” you explained while catching your breath from your last kiss. You stood in the living room with Tom’s hands resting on your hips with lust for you in his eyes. 

He pulled back from his embrace with a quirked brow, “You’re serious,” he noted as he smirked at you. He was honestly surprised considering he never saw this side to you. You were always with the same guy for as long as you lived here. It was strange and new to him to see you wanting something that he did.

“No strings attached, of course,” you added. The words sounded ridiculous but you ignored that thought. 

“I...christ, Y/N. I can’t say I haven’t thought about having endless mindblowing sex with you,” he said as his eyes rolled over you. 

“Mindblowing?” you chuckled, “Someone’s cocky,” you teased. 

“Rude. But back to the point...are you sure about this?” Tom got serious. His focus on you as he stepped back to give you some space. He didn’t want to be overbearing or act like he was trying to just get you back in bed. Even though that was basically what he was doing regardless of the situation.

The bottom line was, he had an amazing time with you. And unlike the random girls he brought home, you knew him. There was an understanding between you and him that he knew you got. And he could be open with you by saying he didn’t want anything serious. He wouldn’t need to find a way to get rid of you in the morning. He could distract himself from the nonsense he would think about while ravishing you in the process. It was the perfect idea.

You took a moment. Wondering again if you were just crazy to suggest this. But the way his brown eyes were studying you, it just felt right. 

“I’m sure if you are,” you finally answered. 

Tom was silent but it didn’t take him long to make his mind up. Taking a few steps forward, he picked you up in one swift motion and brought you over towards the couch where you straddled his hips before going in for another kiss. His hand was already slipping underneath your shirt and up your back as he helped you remove it along with his, tossing it towards the empty side of the couch you weren’t using.

Helping you out of your leggings, you found your way back towards Tom’s lap and grinded your hips against him in between your kisses. The cravings you both shared for one another grew wilder as you continued, “We’re really doing this?” you muttered against his lips with another gasp as you helped release him out of his already bulging boxers.

“Think so,” Tom laughed against your skin, trailing his lips down to your neck as he pushed your hair to one side, “Unless you want to stop?” he pulled back for a minute, not wanting to overstep if you were having second thoughts.

Biting your bottom lip, your hand went down to Tom’s hardened length and ran along it. Rubbing the pre-cum seeping from his tip as you watched Tom throw his head back against the couch with a low moan, “Does it look like I want to stop?” you asked him with a playful grin.

“Fuck, Y/N…” Tom hissed as his hands gripped your sides to release some of his frustration. He breathed out a laugh as his fingers went to your clit, beginning to circle you slowly, “Let me give you what you came here for. Hm, darling?” his voice grew raspy as he looked you in the eye, his pupils black the longer he waited.

Your eyes went down towards Tom’s waist, gasping as you watched him begin to tease your entrance with his tip. Cussing under your breath, you grabbed onto his shoulders tightly as you braced yourself for his impact. Tom pressed his hand against the small of your back as he waited for you to let him know it was okay. You nodded your head silently as you gave him an amorous look, “I want you, Tom,” you whispered lowly.

That was all it took before Tom guided himself into you. Going slow as he took his time to let you get used to him while you clenched around him. You lowered yourself deeper as he filled your core up entirely while you began to roll your hips against his slowly, letting out a moan as Tom hissed against your ear while twitching inside of you.

“Mmm, Y/N,” Tom breathed out a moan as he matched his thrusts with yours. His lips parted, moaning against your neck while he pressed open, sloppy kisses against your skin as he continued to rub your clit with his opposite hand, “You feel so fucking wet,” he praised you breathlessly.

“Keep touching me, Tom,” you cried out to him while you started to ride him faster. Even though you and Tom had just started these escapades, you certainly felt comfortable enough to tell him exactly what you wanted to make you feel good. Pressing the pad of his thumb against your swollen bud, your eyes clenched shut while you pushed yourself deeper into him, “Shit! Yes, right there,” you reassured him with another moan.

Guiding you down on his cock, Tom felt his entire body tense as soon as his lips met yours once again. His breaths getting heavy like yours as your name fell from his lips while he watched you bounce up and down on him, making him feel absolutely incredible as you continued to moan in his ear.

You felt your body beginning to tense as you kept going. Everything inside of you was aching for a release and Tom was giving it to you without a doubt. Rocking your hips into him more, you knew you were getting closer to your edge and you could feel Tom about to release as well.

Opening your eyes, you cupped Tom’s face with your palms and gave him one last fiery kiss. Your tongues finding each other wildly and tangled up before you both finally reached your highs together as you whimpered Tom’s name while you finally let go for him.

Tom cussed as he unraveled from beneath you. His body writhing while he watched you bury your face into the crook of his neck, muffling the sound of your moans against him. The vibrations from your sounds set him off further while he continued to reach his bliss, still thrusting into you while you rode out your tremor together.

“Holy….” Tom trailed off with a heavy breath, finally slowing down while his back hit the couch as he tried to pull himself together. He saw you pull your face away from his body, giving him the same exact look that he knew he had on his face, “Umm...yeah, holy fuck?” he laughed.

“That just about covers it,” you agreed as you kissed his cheek with a smile. You pushed Tom’s now damp and sweaty curls out of his face to capture his lips while you brought him closer to you, “So we have a deal?” you confirmed as Tom kissed you back.

Tom chuckled as his hands fell to your sides, his thumb creating small circles against you while he pursed his lips, “You’re really serious about this? No strings? No titles? Just like...just sex?” he clarified, still trying to wrap his head around you asking for this. It felt like a godsend and that it was too good to be true. Why couldn’t more girls be like you?

Tucking a loose strand of your hair behind your ear, Tom’s eyes went from your eyes, to your lips, and back as he sat there admiring you looking this way. You looked so effortlessly beautiful to him and even just as a friend, he was lucky to have you in his life. But now that he had you in other ways, you felt almost intoxicating to him. He couldn’t understand why that piece of garbage cheated on you. Tom had done some shady things to girls in the past and he didn’t see himself in ways others might but he knew he would have never done what that guy did.

You nodded as you turned your head to the side, “Do we have a deal, Tom?” you asked again, raising your eyebrow at him.

“Justin really did a number on you, huh?” Tom teased with a chuckle.

“We’re not talking about him,” you shushed Tom. Pressing your palm against his chest, you gave him a stern expression, “No talk about exes or...your conquests. We do this,” you gestured towards you straddling his legs before looking back at him, “Whenever we...feel like it. I guess,” even you weren’t sure of the rules but you figured you could make them your own anyway.

There was a pause as you quickly felt like you should add more, “We’re friends. Nothing more, nothing less,” you told him, wanting to be clear of at least one title throughout this whole pact the two of you were about to agree to, “Friends who...happen to jump each other’s bones?” you stated despite it sounding like a question.

Tom chuckled at your timid expression. His hands still at your sides as he leaned up and captured your lips again. “Deal.”

Taglist @osterfield-holland-andcompany @giuls-394 @missmulti @hazmyheart @lauras-collection @iamapersonwholikesunicorns @detroitbydark @mcuassemble @blahhhhhhhaaa @lonikje @beiroviski @ruefulposts @desir-ae @kayla-m1996 @unicorn-princess-1999 @asmilinghopelessromantic @itsjusttor @azaraspirit @whatareyouhidingpeter @when-marvellous-things-happen @mannien @lilostif16 @u-rrose @ninjalex1d @baby-unidorn @astoldbydanid @honey-sea @fallingforfics @lulueliott24 @mikalakat @babebenhardy @coni-martina @captainemrys @mktravelbuggie @underoosmarvel @pluckypete @hollandfanficlove @lookalivefrosty @lightmelikeacigarette @msmarvel-19  @parker-holland-osterfield @thwip-it-real-good @shirukitsune @justanotherusername80 @dangerdolns @jwolfesblog @jjayyc  @ifilosemyselfagain @axisnpalma @londonspidey @just-a-littlebit-of-everything @bookgirlunicorn @kfcyum @thenoddingbunny-blog @buzzbuzzitsmeagainbitch @herondale-snow-carstairs​ @marvelobsessedteenager @unlimitedd​ @dramaholic18​ @softholand​ @panicattheeverywherekid​ @emotionally-unstable23​ @quackeroos​ @unbelievableholland​ @holyhumorliteraturelight​ @spideyyeet​ @katiekinzs​ @fanficparker​ @ifntelyinspirit​ @rubberducky-jrr​ @xguardgirlx​ @selfcarecap​ @localfangirlx​ @xxpeachyxo​ @hazardosterfield​ @xstarbae​ @justanotherusername80​ @photoshopart15​ @spiderbibby​ @the-fandom-life-forever​ @jannine00742​ @parachutepantswedgie-blog​ @decadentwastelandtrash​ @anythingthaticareabout​ @outshineallthestars​ @captainamirica​ @thehauntingofmymind​ @watermelonsponge​ @sinisterspidey​ @adayasgeorgia​ @obliviatevamps​ @damnrancidchicken​ @lolooo22​ @cocoamoonmalfoy​ @spideyspeaches​ @hollandprkr​ @peachitofu​ @quacksonholland​ @itscaminow​ @ohtobelovedbyyou​ @diffind0​ @tomhollandsslut​ @chipot-lol​ s @outerbanks-fics​ @agustdowney​ @305weasley​  @shrutipatel08

#tom holland #tom holland x you #tom holland x reader #tom holland smut #tom holland x y/n #heyhihellowhatsup0 #HOYF

[hybridshadowz]

Hey everyone! I thought it over for a bit and decided to make a ko-fi! As many of you know, I draw a lot of illustrations over at my art blog and recently started to get more in writing fanfiction.

I know I don’t say much about what goes in my life... I’m a very reserved person both in real life and online but as of now, my family is gradually descending into a tight financial spot. While commissions would help me quicker, I would appreciate any small amount of help. I plan to save up as much as I can to have for any emergency and for necessities like food, rent, utilities etc. 

I know not everyone can afford commissions (god knows I wish I had enough money to commission some of my favorite artists here but alas....) so even a small amount of money can go a long way! Thank you for hearing me out and reblogs are also very much appreciated (^u^)b

#I feel very weird.... kinda like asking for help to the void #and hoping that someone out there can somehow hear me #I'm very reserved no joke lololol #I may scream a lot in tags and stuff #but like that's mostly whats going on in my head haha #but jokes aside #I honestly do believe any little help will ultimately go a long way #I don't like to ask for help.... that's just how I am but now #I should try to speak out now #but I understand if you cannot give anything #it's not just me who is going through a tough spot #there's so many people struggling yoo #too* wow I am typing too fast #so even reblogs help me out a lot #okay I've spoken a lot ^^;;;; #just thanks for taking the time to even read this #its a bit hard for me to speak out #but I gotta do this while I do what I can on my side to help my family get back on stable tracks #hybridshadz speaks #kofi #artists on tumblr

[seita]

some coping mechanism are wrong and do need to be discussed or changed!! neurodivergency doesn’t give u an excuse to hurt or trigger others!! coping mechanisms don’t exist in vaccums... and you and ur followers are harming real people by saying such

i was going to ignore most everything i got on the subject because quite frankly i'm over it. every opposing take either doesn't make sense, is completely ignorant, or is just plain stupid.

this one? is just idiocy.

so i'm gonna take the time to explain some things to you.

i cannot begun to express the ignorance and privilege that is seeped into every single word of this ask. i am actually baffled that you genuinely thought that this was, in any way shape or form, okay. or that you even thought this was a hot take at all.

you do not have any jurisdiction or power to tell other people that the way they cope is wrong. that is so beyond disgusting.

do you know why people choose to write dark content to cope?

a few reasons that range from: gives power/comfort over their trauma to lets them release emotions that otherwise have no outlet.

beyond that is that some people don’t have the resources or support system needed to cope in other ways. all they may have is a pen and paper or a laptop. they may not live in a home where they were believed, they may still be trapped with their abuser, or they may just plain not be able to afford therapy.

but do you know what the fun thing is? plenty of these people who choose to cope in this way are advised by their therapists to do it. like myself.

i used to write in little notebooks as a child -- really dark, foul shit and i didn’t understand why i did it. i talked to my therapist and i was told it’s a great outlet! i have to say writing is probably one of the top reasons i managed to get to the space i am in today.

when i learned the wonders of the internet growing up, i also sought out to READ the content. of course, it was very hard to find because of people like you who do nothing but shame it simply because of the real world values the crimes possess and for some reason refuse to see it in a fictional, helpful way.

it’s a very real and very valid coping mechanism: both reading and writing are incredibly beneficial.

this outlet also helps people just the same as it can hurt people. i don’t know who or what you think you’re doing but survivors who are triggered by the content of a darker nature WILL NOT CLICK ON IT TO READ IT. why are you acting like survivors and victims are brainless, mindless idiots who will read something clearly labeled with their triggers as if there’s some invisible force dictating them too?

and who are you? a highschool student? a college student? a therapist? what right gives you, a random person on the internet, to dictate something that has been ADVISED and PROVEN to help with coping to trauma to deem it wrong?

im gonna go ahead and say your morality. nothing beyond that.

you see dark content as just disgusting porn fucked up people jerk off to but it’s beyond that. and very obviously something you do not understand and most likely refuse to understand.

you think because you think something is wrong that it should be wrong all around. you don’t like it so it shouldn’t be done.

i hate to break it to you but the real world isn’t going to cater to you. i sure as fuck won’t. i’m not in charge of making you feel happy or content on the internet. if you log on to your computer and expect people to babysit you and make you feel comforted and safe -- you’re doing the internet wrong.

you only choose to see the negative side to this. you see that people can be triggered or hurt by this content and that’s valid. people can and will be. but there’s also a HUGE number that people like you choose to ignore and invalidate under the guise of protecting survivors only to hurt them at the same time. it doesn’t make sense.

you’re not trying to advocate and protect people -- you’re trying to make the fandom and content match up to your puritan ideals and fantasies. the world isn’t like that. people are always going to do things you don’t like and have opposing opinions on things. stop trying to act like you’re doing this for the greater good -- a martyr, hero complex isn’t a cute look and we can see exactly what you’re doing.

i don’t understand why it’s so hard to accept that dark content does not have as big of a negative impact as you think it does.

i also don’t understand how other survivors can see what people like me do and tell us we’re wrong. i don’t go out of my way to shame you and say “oh you don’t like dark content? weird.” i mind my own fucking business and stay away from blogs that don’t want to interact with dark content writers.

i am respectful always. i never attack people for having opposing opinions. i never attack people personally. people who write dark content don’t do that shit.

you know who does?

your side.

you know what someone said to me in an effort to shame me and bully me for writing what i write? they called my writing shit -- the thing i use to cope and help other cope. i’ve never gone on anon or off anon and told someone their writing was shit.

i also had someone ask me why i think being a victim made me special. i’m gonna let you sit and figure out exactly what is wrong with that question.

those are the types of people you’re enabling and encouraging. if you people just left dark writers alone we wouldn’t hurt anyone. you all preach this shit about how dark content is SOOOOO easily availble anyone can read it. that is false. the only way to find dark content is to ALREADY BE ASSOCIATING WITH PEOPLE WHO CREATE OR CONSUME DARK CONTENT. it’s not tagged in the main tags. it will not show up in your orbit or be blasted on your page because someone posted it.

and then you people say “oh minors will be convinced it’s okay!!!” no. minors aren’t as stupid as you seem to think they are. they fully know and understand exactly what they’re getting into. they see the word rape and know in real life THAT’S BAD.

you don’t want a slasher film and think  “oh wow look at him killin all those people but not getting caught I COULD DO THAT TOO!!!!” no. you don’t. because you know it’s wrong.

y’all are so high up on you moral horse that you think everyone around you is fucking stupid and has no common sense.

if someone thinks what they read in fiction makes it okay in real life, there was already something wrong with them to begin with.

but no, you’ll pull out anything on earth to try and get your point across. from secondhand trauma to it just being offensive.

and i hate to be the one to tell you this but...all this crusading is doing basically nothing in the long run. you know what happened yesterday from being called out? i lost 9 followers.

and then i gained 20. and now im only 100 away from 16,000.

what did all of this achieve? what does any of this even do?

whenever you people do this what exactly is it you want? do you expect us to just...stop...because you don’t like it? are you really so self-centered and self-righteous that you think you’re THAT important. do you really believe your opinion and voice is the loudest and most important to consider?

because it really isn’t.

just as you’re sitting here telling me you’re wanting to protect people -- i’m wanting to help people. do you know how many people i’ve had thank me for making them feel better about their owwn fantasies that they’d previously been ashamed of because they’re a victim? or how many people thank me for providing the content they rely on to cope?

i’m gonna go ahead and say those are the people i want to help. those are the people i care about. and i don’t know what it’s gonna take for you people to understand that i will not stop until i DECIDE to.

this is the internet. none of your opinions or words have any long-lasting, realistic effect on me, my person, or my life. i could delete my blog and in a month nothing any of you have said to me over this course of time will have impacted me in the long term. of course, other people are more sensitive and can get hurt by this discourse.

but i don’t. i’m a lot more stubborn and thick-skinned than you people may seem to realize.

your words will continue to go in one ear and out the other. i know where i stand. i know where i want to remain.

your morality nor your opinions are blanket rules that everyone should abide by. get some perspective and learn your place in the world before speaking on things you clearly cannot understand.

#tw discourse #💌.afton #faceless #tw trauma #and that. #is all i have to say about that.

[samikozume-todoroki]

Warning: straight crack

Masterlist | Request rules | Gen. Taglist

Wildchild memelord reader meeting the guys for the first time and love at first sight:

Bakugou Katsuki:

You bump into him

“WATCH WHERE YOURE GOING EXTRA!!!!”

Boom boom, fingy explosions, boom boom

Gets in yo face

Not in the sexy way tho😔✊

You back up slightly

“I have a thick skin but dude you are scary scary”

Does that cute confused thing^

Like no one has said that straight to his face, and not with such nonchalance either

He respects it

But he’s still confused

“W-what??”

“Also sir please get outta my bubble, I mean I don’t mind a hot guy getting all up in my space but like consent is sexc ya feel?”

You’re an idiot.

Katsuki likes idiots (bakusqaud cough)

“And that’s how your father met me kids😌💅✨”

“Y/n I’m older than you”

“Kiri shut up, don’t ruin the story of mom and dad meeting🥺”

Todoroki Shouto:

You come up to him after the sports festival

“Ay yo! That’s the ice zuko!”

Ice zuko??? What’s a zuko???

You grab his hands in that whole “I’m praying with/for you” position

“I believe in your redemption arc!! You got this Ice zuko!!”

“My name is shouto todoroki??? What’s a zuko???”

He ends up in some random strangers, yours, house binging Avatar the next few days.

and that’s the story of how you met your future hubby

and how y’all went to comic-con in Zuko and Mai cosplay

and how your three kids were named

“Alright Zuko, Aang, and Iroh let’s go to bed”

“I can’t believe you named your kids that”

“Shut up Midoriya, when you meet the love of your life through a show then you can talk”

Kirishima Eijirou:

You bumped into him at the mall

And fell into the fountain

He helped you out apologizing

“Ya know, I don’t think this is how you get a girl wet sir”

“Agsjsghsjs w-w-whAt”

*voice crack bAybEE*

“Ya I mean usually you take her out to dinner or y’all watch a movie then you lure her to the bed-“

“mAAAM PLEA-“

“I mean that’s how it goes in all the wattpad lemons hm. Not gonna lie tho, the view of you-“

Licks lips

“Is all I need”

Kirishima_Eijirou.exe stopped working

Wait or Restart?

“Yes he will gladly take your number”

Bless Kaminari, after hyena cackling his ass off, he stepped in

A true bro😔✊

“And that is how I seduced your future son-in-law!”

“Y/n we talked about this- get better pickup lines cmon your game is weak”

“And Kirishima honey, I’m disappointed in your pick up line tolerance”

Midoriya Izuku:

You fell from the sky

Well not really you just crashed through the ceiling

Landing on top of deku your dazed face looks into his eyes

“Damn I must’ve crashed into hell because you’re fucking hot”

Izuku is blushing yes but he’s also out of it cause he knocked his head

“Then baby there’s no way you’re an angel cause you’re dripping sin”

I made that up on the spot and I am proud, wow my own talent astonishes me🤩

“I may be an angel, but I will gladly sin for you”

You both are two inches away from a heated makeout session but-

Cough cough

“Dudes the whole class is still here”

Izuku finally snaps out of it and promptly faints in shock

Meanwhile you’re mad cause

NO HEAD?! *throws phone, jumps and snaps a skateboard*

Doodling you number on Izukus forehead you skip out of the classroom and back upstairs

“And that’s how we met Miss Midoriya!”

“Izuku you’re all grown up”😭

“Mom whAT-“

Kaminari Denki:

This motherfucker also has wild child memelord energy

And wild children meme lords attract

Like put some meme lords in a mile radius of the other and they will sniff each other out eventually

So your first day of UA you run into the class in the middle of English

Point straight at Denki, him out of his seat pointing straight at you

“BRO!””PIKABRO!”

“Shawty let me suckle on them toes”😫

“Only if you allow me to break your ankles and put you in a skirt cause you remind me of my mom”😫

“BRO! FEEL free! Please lure me into your basement!!”😫😫

“I ain’t paid enough for this bullshit” present mic leaves the classroom💀

“And that’s how the mafia works”🤩✨

“Dad you literally told us how y’all met where did mafia come from?”

“Denki we raised a wack ass kid wtf”

“Ikr like who put the stick up his ass”

“Parentals I’m literally right here how are you guys adults I cannot-“

Shinsou Hitoshi:

So like everyone knows he loves cats right???

All of UA knows too

“Hola cat boy! Can you do me a favor???”

You walk up to him in a cat costume

Not one of the skimpy ones

Sadly

Like a full on cat in the hat onesie type deal

“I didn’t know cat in the hat went to UA?”

“I heard ya like cats, and I need you, so I am a cat

I am now irresistible you have to do as I say”

“You would have had better luck if you wore a skimpy cat costume but I’ll hear you out. What do ya want?”

“Okay right so this dickwad decided “yo let’s take panty shots of random girls”

and I’m one of them

and like he took the picture with one of my comfty panties

so the picture isn’t even cute

and I want it back but he won’t give it to me

so like can you do your whole Jedi mind trick and get me the photo back???”

“Lmao,,, what???”

“Wat???”

“So you get sexually harassed and you’re more upset by the fact that you weren’t wearing cute panties???”

“When you put it like that it sounds bad”

“That’s because it is bad”

“Oh yeah now that you put it like that it is bad. Can you fuck up his shit too???”

Mans beats the fucker up black and blue, shreds all the photos, destroys the camera, memory stick thingy, deletes all gmail account data then the account, destroys laptop, computer, hard drives, phones, 3DS, etc. etc. thoroughly

“Wow when you smashed his 3DS in his balls that was very hot”

Make out session over a half dead body: check 💯✅

“And that was how I prevented a man from having kids”🥰

“God you’re so hot, I could fu-“

“Y/n. We are literally in public with all of our friends. Stop being horny”

“I can’t help it you’re so hot yummy yummy man🤩”

A/n: LMAO I’m rereading this after waking up. I wrote this ten minutes before I went to sleep and it shows cause my god this is a hot mess💀

Tagged: @mssyprsn

#todoroki shouto x reader #todoroki x reader #shouto x reader #bakugou katsuki x reader #bakugou headcanons #todoroki shoto headcanons #bakugou x reader #katsuki x reader #kaminari x reader #denki x reader #kaminari denki x reader #izuku x reader #midoriya x reader #midoriya izuku x reader #midoriya izuku headcanons #hitoshi x reader #shinsou x reader #shinsou hitoshi x reader #eijirou kirishima headcanons #kirishima eijiro x reader #kirishima x reader #eijirou x reader #shinsou headcanons #kaminari headcanons #todoroki shouto #kaminari denki #bakugou katsuki #kirishima eijirou #midoriya izuku #shinsou hitoshi

[spencer-reid-in-a-pool]

Three’s a Crowd

Summary: When Geralt leaves you and Jaskier behind to go hunt, you are pulled into spending the day in town with Jaskier. Fluff and mischief ensues. 

Warnings: None!

Pairings: Jaskier x genderless reader *(see A/N)

Square Filled: Kissed to keep quiet

Word Count: 2,595

A/N: Here is my second submission for the 2021 Witcher Bingo! @thewitcherbingo While this is a genderless reader fic, there is a scene involving the reader with jewelry, so that could be seen as “feminine” if you really squint. Of course, boys and theys can wear jewelry too! Also, thank you to @toss-a-coin-to-your-stan-account​ for letting me use a hilarious phrase they came up with! 

Tags: @ayyyyitswednesdaymydoods @blackjay04 @mxsmwndr @bravelittlesunflower @weaselbee04

----------------------------------

Truth be told, I was glad when I realized Geralt had left without us. Were my feelings hurt? A little. But I forgot about it when I realized it meant I got to sleep in. 

However, I was only a few minutes into my next bout of sleep when the door to my room came crashing open. 

“(Y/N)!” the cause of the commotion yelled. Jaskier. 

I didn’t even open my eyes. I should have known this would happen. Sleeping in? Never heard of it. 

“What?” I snapped. 

The door closed and I heard footsteps coming closer. Then all of a sudden, the covers were yanked off my body and I felt his rough hands shaking me. 

“Geralt left without us! Can you believe him?”

My eyes shot open and I pulled the covers back over. But not before glaring at Jaskier, who looked genuinely concerned about the whole thing. 

“Yes, actually, I can believe him. And I was trying to sleep in. Do you mind?” 

Jaskier scoffed and took a few steps back, raising his hands in an apology. 

“Fine, fine. I see that I am more worked up about it than you are. Although normally it is just me that you two tend to leave behind,” he said, a bit of a sad look gracing his features. But in a split second it was gone and replaced with a much happier one. A mischievous one. Oh no. 

“Come on, let’s go find something to do! I cannot simply sit in this dusty old inn, wasting away as the hours go by,” said Jaskier as he fell onto the foot of my bed dramatically. “I am far too beautiful and talented for that.”

I sighed. “If I come with you, will you be quiet?”

“Absolutely not.”

Well, at least he was honest. 

~

The town was far more active than I expected it to be at this time of day. I wonder what there was to do. 

Currently, I trailed behind Jaskier through the groups of people crowding around the shops and stalls in the market. At least he was easy to spot with his lute strapped to his back. 

“Jaskier,” I called to him. I didn’t think he would hear me, but he stopped and turned to look for me. 

Once I caught up, I huffed and said, “Do you honestly carry that thing everywhere we go?”

He gave me a look as if to tell me I was insane.

“Of course! You never know when musical inspiration might strike.” 

I rolled my eyes, but honestly it was one of my favorite things about him. His antics never failed to make me laugh. 

“So do you have a plan for us, or are we to wander aimlessly through the town square?”

“Does this not suit you, my friend? Oh please, do tell me what sits so heavily on your heart!” Jaskier announced dramatically. 

I laughed and he smiled back at me. How childish. 

“Fine. I want to find some food. Lead the way, lute boy.” 

Jaskier gasped indignantly. But there was a twinkle in his eye that let me know he was happy. We often played this type of game with each other. Feigning annoyance or being dramatic or something of the sort to make the other laugh. It was almost a contest, although there was never a clear winner. Simply spending time with the other was enough. 

“Anything for Your Majesty,” Jaskier declared with a bow.

~

Eventually we came to a stall that looked to be selling sweets. The colors and textures of the food caught my eye from afar, and as soon as I saw it I grabbed the sleeve of Jaskier’s doublet to pull him over. 

“Oi, this was very expensive you know. Try not to rip it, hmm?”

Ignoring his comment, I continued to pull him over until we were in front of it. 

“Ohh, I see. Finally found something you’d like? I knew you would come around.”

I let go of his sleeve and he turned to the man selling the sweets. 

“How much are your goods, fair merchant?”

While Jaskier talked to the man, I looked around at other stalls in the area. A jeweler’s stand caught my eye next. I knew anything over there would be too expensive, but I wanted to look anyway. 

As I turned back to Jaskier, he had bought both of us a piece of candy from the man, and I took mine from him with a smile. 

“Thank you, Jaskier. You didn’t have to pay for mine.”

He unwrapped his candy quickly, and glanced at me with that crooked smile that makes women and men alike weak in the knees. 

“I wanted to. Now- where to next?”

My eyes betrayed my mind, settling on the jewelry that I knew would be too expensive to even consider purchasing. 

Jaskier followed my gaze across the square to the bits and baubles I was focused on, and a forlorn look fell onto his face. 

“Darling, I don’t mean to put a damper on things, but I can smell how expensive that place is all the way over here.” 

I sighed and looked up at him. 

“I know, but I just want to look. Can we, please?”

His face softened, and he gave me a small nod to signal it was okay. I didn’t even try to hide my happiness when I grabbed his hand and pulled him around the square for the second time today. Not once did he complain, which I felt very undeserving of. 

I realized how large his hand was in mine, and I truly couldn’t remember if I had ever touched him in this way before. Of course, I had imagined it countless times. It felt nice. 

I think that both of us knew we were crazy about the other. We were both just too scared to say anything. Or maybe we were just comfortable with the way things were, without a label. 

Either way, I couldn’t suppress the tingling feeling in my fingers as I let go of his hand when we made it to our destination. And gods, it didn’t live up to any expectation I had formed in the past few minutes of wondering. 

There were rows upon rows of every kind of jewelry you could imagine. Necklaces, rings, bracelets, barrettes, brooches... there were simply too many to name. Numerous golds and silvers alike glistened in the afternoon sunlight, enough to take your breath away if you weren’t careful. 

“Wow,” Jaskier breathed next to me. 

“I think this shop is worth more than both of our lives put together. Especially yours,” I murmured so only he could hear. 

“I- what does that even mean?”

Before I could comment something smart back, the lady caught us in her sight and came over with a smile plastered across her face, ready to try and sell us something. 

“How can I help you two today?”

Jaskier and I glanced at each other, not sure of what to tell her. 

“Uh, we’re just looking for now. Thank you though,” I said in a bit of a hurry. 

She seemed content with that, nodding slightly and then walking away to help someone else who would probably actually buy something. 

Once more I couldn’t help but stare at all the rows in front of me. I think I could look at them forever, imagining myself wearing all the pieces to some fancy ball or banquet. 

The only thing to drag me out of my thoughts was a small, timid tug on my sleeve. I turned and saw Jaskier looking at me. But he wasn’t really looking directly at me. His mind seemed to be elsewhere. 

“We should go,” he said in a low tone. 

“What? What’s wrong? Five more minutes. Let me dream a bit longer.”

He looked over me and around me before looking behind himself. 

“No, I think we should really go, okay?”

“You’re acting weird, Jaskier. What’s got your doublet in a knot?”

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw the merchant woman walk towards us once more. Everything seemed fine until Jaskier turned to see what I was looking at, and then the woman seemed a lot less friendly. 

“Hey!” she yelled loudly, drawing attention to us. 

My eyes widened and I looked at Jaskier, who was now stock still next to me. It was then I noticed that a gold chain was dangling out of his pocket that wasn’t there before. 

“Shit,” he hissed. 

Without another word he grabbed my hand, and we took off running. We weren’t the only ones however. Behind us, I heard thundering footsteps and the sound of metal on metal. The guards were after us. 

“Jaskier, did you really swipe something off that woman’s stall?”

He turned over his shoulder slightly to look at me as we ran, but didn’t say anything. Maybe I was crazy, but there was a hint of a smile on his lips. 

He had a death grip on my hand, and it didn’t let up as we ran through the streets taking twists and turns trying to lose the guards behind us. It was exhilarating, to be honest. So much so, that a laugh bubbled inside me and burst out before I could stop it. 

“You’re crazy!” I yelled to Jaskier over all the noise and the rush of the wind. 

He chuckled breathlessly, exhausted from the sudden sprint we had started. 

“Just keep running! And don’t let go of my hand- I don’t want to get separated.”

I smiled to myself and looked down at the ground where my feet met the dirt in a rhythmic sort of way. And once again, I laughed. Only this time, Jaskier laughed with me, out of breath and unashamed. Running this way with him, hand in hand, was freeing. I felt so alive. I didn’t care where he was leading me- wherever it was, I would follow. 

Jaskier pulled me around one last turn, and then into an alley. The guards were significantly farther behind us now. Even so, we cowered into a dark corner of the alley, and tried to catch our breath. However, when we looked at each other, a fit of giggles overtook us both. 

“That was..”

“That was-”

We both spoke at the same time and stopped at the same time, causing us to giggle once more. My chest and stomach were aching from the lack of air, but it was a small price to pay for how happy and carefree I felt right now. 

“So, what in the gods names did you take, Jaskier? And why?”

His smile fell a bit before he dug into his pocket where I had seen the gold chain earlier. But before he could get it all the way out, a familiar sound of thundering footsteps began to get closer. 

“Shit,” Jaskier hissed, shoving the chain back down into his pocket like before. 

He suddenly grabbed my arm and pulled me farther into the corner, but there wasn’t much room left. 

“Jaskier, we’re gonna get caught!” I whispered. 

His eyes scanned the area frantically and then came back to settle on me. By the sounds of it, the guards would be on us any minute now, and we would be caught. 

In a split second, his mouth fell open a bit and he looked as though he had an idea. Without saying anything, he reached up and pulled the hood of my cloak up on my head, before shedding his doublet, leaving him only in his white undershirt. He threw his doublet into a passing carriage, and grabbed me roughly by the shoulders before turning me around and placing me roughly against the cold, stone wall. 

“Jaskier, what the f-”

Right as the guards rounded the corner, Jaskier shoved his face onto mine and kissed me feverishly, pushing his body against mine until my back hurt against the hard wall behind me. Needless to say, it threw me off a bit, especially when he pulled my hood to the side so that it shielded both of our faces from the guards who were now running directly past us, paying us absolutely no mind. 

Only when the sound of their feet faded into the distance did he pull away, eyes wild and hair sticking up in every direction imaginable. The only sounds that could be heard now were our heavy breaths, though we were still so close together it could have easily been mistaken as just one. 

“Um, Jaskier...”

“I’m sorry,” he croaked in a hushed whisper. 

“Uh, well, actually. I think the guards are coming back. Don’t you hear them?”

For a second, a look of utter confusion overtook his face. But almost as soon as it had come, a devilish grin replaced it. 

“Actually yeah, they’re quite loud, aren’t they? Just to be safe...”

This time, both of us met each others lips at the same time, and it was much more pleasant than the first one. Our mouths moved in sync, in perfect harmony, as they had meant to all this time. His hands came up to hold the sides of my face tenderly, causing my hood to slip away and a rush of cold air to make me shiver. However, as soon as I wrapped my arms around his shoulders to bring him closer, the coldness was replaced by warmth, and I smiled into the kiss. Not once did he break from his aggressive, almost hungry kisses, and neither did I. We had both wanted this for so long, and neither of us wanted it to end. 

Unfortunately, I had to pull away for air, so I begrudgingly stopped kissing him. But that didn’t stop him. He continued kissing me, on my cheeks, down my neck, and finally on my forehead, one last, gentle time. 

“Why hadn’t we done this before now?” I gasped. 

“Well,” he said in between kisses down my neck and face, “Geralt is usually around and...”

He stopped to place a gentle, final kiss on my lips, much different from the desperate ones before. 

“Three’s a crowd after all.” 

I smiled dumbly at him, still panting, and he mirrored my euphoria. 

“Oh, right,” he muttered, pulling out the chain from his pocket. 

“I got this for you.”

He reached out to me, danging a gold chain off his fingers. It was decorated with my favorite stones and colors, and it almost brought a tear to my eye. He remembered my favorite things?

“Jaskier, you stole that for me?”

He opened and closed his mouth several times before scratching the back of his neck. 

“Uh, yes? I just- I saw how badly you wanted something from there and I couldn’t help but imagine how beautiful this would look on you. Before I knew it, I had it in my hands and was making to put it away.”

Rolling my eyes, I gave him a laugh and took it gently from him. 

“Thank you so much. Truly... it’s wonderful.” 

Jaskier smiled shyly at me, not at all matching the fierceness I had seen on him moments ago. 

“Shame about your doublet though. I seem to remember you saying it was quite expensive.”

He chuckled and kicked at the dirt, flipping his hair out of his eyes. 

“Yeah, well, there will be others. Now, let’s go. We probably shouldn’t hang around here.” 

I smiled before placing the necklace around my neck, making sure it was covered by my clothing. 

“Lead the way, lute boy.”

#Jaskier #jaskier x reader #jaskier fluff #fluff #the witcher #Witcher #witcher bingo #geralt #geralt of rivia #prompt #writing #write #fic #ficlet #fanfic #fanfiction #story #chapter #blurb #one shot #yennefer #roach #triss #julian #julian alfred pankratz #lute #music #witcher fluff #angst #smut

[taeslovehandles]

I never meant to target you and I'm sorry you felt that way. You properly tag everything and adhere to the "don't like, don't read" rule. I don't follow you nor you follow, because we simply don't vibe together and that's okay.

But there are posts that are on the more "innocent" side that do represent fat people as a joke and it's like they don't even realize it because it's something so well ingrained in our fatphobic society.

For example, all the characters are having fun except the fat one or referring to someone as "twice his size" (like... If they want to say he's huge, they should just say it, not imply that there's a "right size" for someone to be).

I don't think authors should censor themselves, just acknowledge the role they play in how fat characters are perceived by the community they write for.

-🍓

First of all, since you obviously haven’t blocked me, you could have come to me via direct message. This is not a topic that needs to be brought out into the public eye even more than it already is. I have worked with anons before, I would have been the last person to reveal who you are. You could have made a trash account to message me in dm’s, but since you didn’t, I will reply to you here.

I want to make one thing clear. This will be my last response on the topic. If you do not like me as a member of the community please use the block button and filter me out, because I will stay. I have many friends here, and know that many people enjoy my content. Just because a small handful of people don’t appreciate dark themes in fiction, the contents of which they can easily protect themselves from, won’t make me falter.

Now, I want to debunk this ask because your ‘apology’ actually made me very upset.

I know you don’t mean it when you say you are sorry because you’re backpedaling on what you’ve told your friends and it really rubs me the wrong way. You could have owned up to your mistakes and apologized sincerely like others had but you continue to play victim and excuse your behaviour with tales of your own trauma, projecting your own insecurities onto my blog and thus hating me.

I know for a fact that you despise my blog, especially my writing, because you do not like how “obviously skinny people write about weight gain.”

Honey.

I couldn’t be any further from skinny.

I don’t mind sharing my actual weight, which has actually gotten worse due to COVID. I weigh 490lbs. I am morbidly obese. I have always been morbidly obese. For you to come and be “nitpicky” about a genre you don’t even enjoy? Why are you even reading my fics then?

The way I write about obese people, their struggles with literally everything… that comes from real life experience. I write this to share embarrassing and exhausting daily life tasks I personally struggle with.

A skinny person would never write some of the stuff I do, because they simply don’t know. They don’t know how scary it is to hear the line “we are going to a restaurant.” They don’t know how scary it is to go into that new restaurant, scan the chairs and think “Shit, am I gonna fit? Is the chair gonna creak? Is there enough space for the next table? What if I won’t fit?” A thin person doesn’t have to think this way.

And, let me tell you something else. Yes, I agree. The world is fatphobic.

In one of my recent posts I talked about movies and shows where they make fun of fat people because I hate it. Because it is REAL LIFE. And I am all for the body positivity movement and I do believe that all bodies are beautiful, because they are.

You do not know me personally.

And that leads to my next point. If you personally have issues with the phrase “twice my size”, then that is on you. And guess what? I cannot count how often I’ve heard lines like that my whole life.

“Oh wow two people would fit in one of your pant legs.”

“Wow, you are so fat, I could use your pants as a tent.”

So trust me, I know. I KNOW. But anon, this is the important part for me. Everyone processes trauma differently.

Inked ch3? Or literally any story I have written with a fat character being forced, insulted and talked down to like they’re dumb? That’s what I have been living with my entire life. Most of these stories, some obviously more extreme than how I had experienced them since it’s fiction, have been recordings of trauma I have went through.

My own dad force fed me. Forced me to eat food and gain weight. My first boyfriend was a feeder that manipulated me into gaining more weight and took measurements. Called me pig names and abused me. Hit me, manipulated me into having s** with him and then let all of his fantasies out on me.

I don’t make this shit up. I hate my brain for being so twisted now, that I actually find it hot and arousing. It’s weird. I know, but that’s how it is.

I’ve also never had friends in school. Not even kindergarten. Why? Because my “fat incased body could spread like a virus.” I was being bullied like JK was in Pondus.

I had hot water thrown at me, got glue put on my seats and hair, had my hair ripped out and even got a cigarette burn mark on my arm. Just because I was fat. Just because of how my body was shaped.

I was strangled and locked into a small locker for a night. I was almost killed for running away from my abusive dad from his car and had to listen to things like, “You are going to die when you are 30. No one will ever love you and your body.” That I have trust issues now and am paranoid about everything and everyone.

Those dark stories. I use those dark stories to try to work through my trauma. And yes, it may be absurd to you. It may disgust you, what I write. But sadly, most of it? Most of it really happened to me. To me and other people I’ve talked to as a friend or seen online. Most of what I write will be dark because the human species is made up of terrible creatures.

Fatphobia is an important topic, and I am happy the media has been slowly getting better about it, that people accept us more. But my writing is how I work with my trauma. If I can make fictional characters feel the same things I had to feel, that makes me feel better.

And I’m not hurting anyone with it. So how is it wrong?

I do not support any of this behaviour in real life. I never bullied anyone, I always try to speak up for my friends and tell people if they are being assholes. Because I hate them too and it makes me angry when good people get shit when they do nothing but breathe.

And how @pudgecuddles already said. I don't need you to advocate for body positivity and all that shit when you go out of your way to bully someone that may have experienced the same shit you have. I do not know you or what you went through in your life, but I am sorry. I’m sorry you feel like my stories aren’t okay to write, but this is how I work on my trauma and I need you to respect that.

I’ve said this before. We don’t have to be friends, or even talk to each other.

Just be neutral.

Block me. Filter me out. Pretend I don't exist. But, whatever you do, don’t make posts that call me out while making it obvious you’re talking about me, with the cover that you are advocating against fatphobia. That’s got a name. Cyber-bullying.

Have you hurt me with those posts? Yes you have, but I’ve never wanted bad blood. As you may have noticed, it wasn’t me that made a post. It was my good friend. Because I told her how exhausting it was and she knew about the posts back then.

I have a good idea of who you are.

I remember you.

But I kept my mouth shut. Because this community is my home and the last thing I wanted was for the people who like both of our types of content to feel like they have to choose sides.

In the end, we all rub one out to fat gay boys in a band. No user is better than the rest, and if there are topics you do not enjoy, there is a button for it. No need to drag everyone into it with posts. It’s exhausting and irritating.

Now, I do not accept your apology because you lied to me and I also do not feel like you meant it sincerely knowing what I know now after reading some dm’s. But I also won’t sit here and start shit.

This is my last post about this.

Please block me and enjoy the content you do like.

Nonetheless, I hope you have a nice day and a lovely weekend. Whatever you are experiencing or going through, I hope it gets better. Because even if you hate me personally for creating content you do not support, I’d say that I am a really friendly and nice person.

I do not believe that anyone deserves to be bullied like that and talked down in official posts. It happened before with a friend of mine and you probably remember that I did speak up about it.... But apparently no one learned from it. I really hope this time you do.

Insult me and shit talk me all you want in dm’s, but don’t do it publicly. No one deserves that kind of hate or passive aggressiveness. No one. Since you sound like someone that went through a lot of shit too, you should know better. You should know how it feels to be bullied and what damage it can cause.

I’m already depressed enough and I have bad lows. Let me write my erotica and just enjoy it? That’s all I want? I am a part of this community just like you were. You leaving because you did not like my content, is not my problem. If you cannot block me or ignore it and go so far as to read them and then rant about them negatively, what do you want me to do? I won’t leave the scene just because you don’t like me.

So, you either trash talk me in dm’s from now on so that I do not see it, or you block me. The latter of which would be the more mature thing to do. The more humane thing to do. Because talking behind someone’s back is just as bad.

Again, I don’t know why you felt like it was necessary to send me an ask with lies in it when I got screenshot proof of something else you have said/issues with, so don’t backpedal on me. I know Hun. I know already.

At least stick to what you said and actually apologize or, if you can’t, just block me.

But this ask? This ask just upset me.

Have a nice day.

p.s: The fact that this even needs to be talked about is so absurd and ridiculous to me. The whole thing is a petty party in my eyes that isn't even worth anyone's time? Do people on here really not have any other issues right now or am I in the wrong movie?

#taeslovehandle asks #do not use this post to cause your own drama #this is me answering honestly. #the topic about this ends here. #please respect this <3