#but we need to learn this even when its extremely uncomfortable because this is how life was for people in the 1800s

[coridallasmultipass]

TW for racism and genocide of Native Americans

Today I learned that the original "The only good _, is a dead _," was "The only good Indian, is a dead Indian." And it really sucks that now I know this information.

Looks like it's speculated to be attributed to one specific Union general due to his actions, but it was more likely just a common anti-Native sentiment of the time held by a lot of the settlers, not just one person.

Like I know I hear 'the only good snake, is a dead snake' most often since I love being in snake discussion groups, which also sucks because I love snakes, and they shouldn't be killed.

But I've also heard like 'the only good Nazi, is a dead Nazi.' And like, I So agree with that, fuck Nazis, but I don't want to think about the original phrase being reclaimed like that for a laugh, no matter how much I agree that Nazis suck.

It should stay as horrifying and sickening as 'the only good Indian, is a dead Indian' in my opinion. I think we should retire the phrase entirely and just note that, that was the origin of it - the continued genocide of Native Americans during the 1800s when settlers were eager to get rid of us so they could claim property for themselves while forcing us into insufficient reservations as US America expanded westward.

This book I'm reading describes that the usual retaliation for the theft of a cow would have been the execution of an entire Indian village. One specific horrifying example given, is from accounts of a traveler that joined a group of Mexicans pursuing Indians (Chumash) in possession of stolen horses. They come across a group of some old Indians, women and children, drying the horse meat. Every last one was killed, and their ears cut off as proof for the priests that they made every effort to retrieve the horses.

This shit is so sickening. They were hungry and trying to survive.

It also describes how the accounts of Indians from my tribe before the mission system were all about how generous and welcoming they were. (Though, it was through the lens of the Spanish who saw us as ideal candidates for conversion because of this.) Then after the collapse of the missions and post-assimilation, the accounts simply describe the Indians' drunkenness and disorder. What did you expect???? You assimilate a group of people so they're entirely reliant on you (the rigid structure of the mission system and the dismantling of their previous tribal villages), and then suddenly turn them out to a world without their previous villages and social order. Of course they're going to struggle and suffer and abuse the drugs (alcohol) you introduced them to.

I hate this so much.

The book also mentions how, during the mission period, anyone who ran away from the missions to go back to their original tribal lives, would be dragged back to the missions and cruelly punished with restraints, lashing, or stocks, and they couldn't understand why because punishment was exceedingly rare before Spanish rule.

Ugh. Anyway.

I'm going to bring this up any time I hear anyone mention that phrase, because the horror of that time period should not be diminished in its modern reclamation. ('Diminished,' because I, a 30yo Native American, did not even know the origin. I thought it was a modern phrase. Our local Native history was always glossed over in school to focus on the mission system. I didn't even learn of my tribe's revolt until like 2016 when I went to a lecture my tribe held.)

I get that reclamation is supposed to be like a good thing, to take away the power of its original use, but I personally don't think that's appropriate for this phrase that was used as a rally for genocide.

Maybe I'm just being a sensitive baby, though, who knows! I'm crying while reading a history book about my tribe. This shit really hurts deep, though. It always has.

#native #native american #n8v #ndn #the only good indian is a dead indian #history #american indian #indigenous #chumash #california #idk what to tag this bro #racism #genocide #prob gonna get this post blacklisted for that word with the current world events ugh #ill just leave it at that for now im not done w the book yet so i might post more when i get to the actual purpose of the book #this is just like part of the intro to set the historical background the book is focused on our cave art and i havent gotten there yet #Cori.exe #Post.exe #maybe this was something obvious to other people but i literally had no idea i dont watch westerns or anything... #...like that where i couldve heard the original phrase before today #this is the shit those 'parents rights' nuts dont want youth educated about #but we need to learn this even when its extremely uncomfortable because this is how life was for people in the 1800s #anyway ill leave it at that i wanna get through this book its already been renewed once and i still have a lot more to read

[danibeanie]

your gonna remember me

Astrology observations (synastry)

the wounded healer chiron😋

-people you have chiron synastry are usually people that your never gonna forget. Wether it be a good or bad ending there is always gonna be a hidden feeling of what ifs between the 2.

Moon conjunct Chiron synastry = hidden feelings of confession we both feel something for each other but it just can’t happen. (1st BOY I REALLY liked and I just knew he liked me 2 but he was leaving for college out of state and we both knew it wasn’t gonna happen)

Mercury conjunct Chiron synastry=hurt through the topic of communication.usually didn’t care to communicate. (2nd boy that hurt me with not caring to fix things on how they went down.. all he had to do is apologize.)

Where your Chiron is also depends on how this synastry play out- for me this synastry occurs in my 9th house which rules travel and school… how this occurred for me was one person is always leaving wether it be graduating school and going their separate ways or getting a scholarship and leaving the state meaning I CANT SEE THEM😍

Saturn synastry oh boy.

-a man usually has his saturn conjuncting my planets and while it is good for long term it’s also hard if you don’t have any saturn aspects in your chart or saturn energy in general. Your gonna feel a bit trapped and they’ll probably remind you of your parents somehow lmao.

There’s always a age difference in this synastry wether it be 2 years ,4, or even 1 the Saturn person will want to commit to you and will feel the need to stick by you. Way stronger if they have Capricorn or Aquarius placements.

These people are usually karmic (Saturn ruling karma) and these people just come into your life outta nowhere 😭 mostly needed.

natal venus retrograde rant :/

-It’s so hard having this in your chart because every person you’ve ever had a bond with or romantic partnership will always affect you WAY MORE than it should. we take relationships to the extreme and it’s so easy to get disappointed from people that don’t reciprocate how much we give and give. I’ve learned that the hard way and so many call us guarded and bit cold but just know it’s cause of past hurt. LITERALLY PAST HURT 😭.

NN synastry

-NOW THIS ONE… I had my Venus conjunct a guys north node and it felt so free and easy going yet terrifying and a bit uncomfortable. The north node is what we’re trying to learn in this life and people that put planets in it usually give a lesson to learn built off of the planet. in this case I had a relationship (Venus)with NN and it didn’t last long, we both got hurt in the end but I know that this was meant to happen AS A LESSON. I felt like the best version of myself and you can just be yourself. The nn perosn had a HUGE crush on me and u can feel the pure admiration from the nn🥲

I’ve been in both sides b4 and I have a man’s Venus conjunct my nn rn and I just wanna give and give to him. His Venus falls into my 12th house where this conjunction occurs but it’s also unconditional support and It’s a bond-like no other.

The planet person and any axis points that conjunction another north node will always help you in your path. Neither will forget but the nn person will always be thankful for the planet person for pushing them to where they are now.

In conjunction synastry😀

-you know that saying opposites attract well yeah this is literally OPPOSITES ATTRACT. When you date someone you have inconjunction with *cough *cough (gemini and capricorn) it can give u a doozy. I can literally write essays about this dynamic but I’ll keep it short and sweet. If you ever get into a relationship with someone that has Inconjunction with most of your planets and add this with 4th house and 8th house synastry…. Its something both of you will learn from. You’ll think back at this relationship and be like wow I dated him?!?😭

some background info I was a senior in highschool and even though I knew people I wasn’t super popular like at all lmao. this guy that was known to be a huge player and just super attractive had a huge crush on me since forever. We ended up dating and that was my 1st ever thing with anyone and let’s just say I got hurt obviously but I left. So many people questioned this relationship “she’s so nice” and “he’s so cocky” well yeah. It’s just 2 different people that are attracted to each other but just think too differently to make it work.

What makes this so strong is that we both really don’t know how this person acts. It’s like with opposition even though their opposites there’s similar traits. Inconjunction just screams going into a job you’ve never worked at and just learning everything on the spot.😭

8th house synastry

If a man’s planets fall into your 8th house just know that they want u so bad. LMAO JK no but actually they want to know everything about you and the attraction is off the charts with this one. - the boy from earlier had his sun in my 8th house and the tension between us was something I never felt b4. I felt uncomfortable and rushed. He was shining light on this relationship he wanted with me and I felt like he could see right thru me. (I have Pluto in the 8th house so I felt like my boundaries where even higher.) if you’ve never interacted with your 8th house sign your either gonna make the worst enemies of them or the bestest friends. 8th house also rules 1st when it comes to anything sexual. He was my 1st kiss

I have so much more to say but I’ll save it for another post and thank you guys for the likes on my last post!😙💘

#astrology content #astro observations #astro community #synastry #saturn #north node #8th house #4th house

[gatorbites-imagines]

Hiya I saw your requests were open so I was wondering if we can get a Tim Drake x male reader

The reader is a bigger older guy, like not too older than Tim but reader does have a streak of gray hair due to the stress of taking care of Bruce's dumbass.

Reader is kinda sly and fox like.

Idk why but I can see Tim liking someone older than him

Tim Drake x older male reader

Headcanons

I feel like tumblr has been deleting requests from my inbox, I swear some go missing. This one didn’t though, so here you go.

It’s been a while huh? Who’d have thought getting ready to graduate would be so stressful.

Reader is about Dicks age, so around 26.

You didn’t meet through hero work or anything like that. You were actually the CEO of a larger company called Aces co. It had been in your family for many years, and your father and grandfather had worked with the Waynes.

So, when you took over at 18, you started working with Bruce Wayne, even though you thought him nothing much more than a himbo at the time. Later, when Tim took over, you’d work side by side with the younger man.

One way or another, you learn Bruces secret identity, and soon you end up mixed up in the vibrant and extremely stressful world that is heroes and vigilantes, you’ve lost count how many times you have had to cover for any of the batclan.

You almost burst into tears when you see the first grey hairs appear at your temples. Your father had gone grey much later in life, and here you were, 24 and greying, all because of the bats. Of course, it wasn’t all the bats, running a billion-dollar company was stressful too, but they sure didn’t help.

The media called you the fox prince, because of the sharp look in your eyes and how sly and underhanded you could be, insulting someone straight to their face and they would first realize days later. Or somehow tricking someone into revealing all their secrets to you.

None of the bats can ever seem to reach your level of mingling and information gathering, even Bruce who has been doing it longer than you’ve been alive.

You never become a hero, or a vigilante for that matter, but you do get involved every now and then if needed. You didn’t take over Aces co. for no reason at 18, you have always been a genius, but a sly and cruel one in the eyes of many.

Unlike Bruce, you don’t feel a soul deep duty to save the world and save as many people as possible. You simply do what you can, without putting yourself in too much danger. Which mainly resolves to you gathering too much information, and enough blackmail to have the entire congress of America and the EU buckling under for your whims.

You are an extremely cold and calculated businessman as well, to the point where underhanded companies like Lexcorps won’t work with you because they know you’ll rip them apart and leave them with nothing.

It was your cruel but very effective business methods that drew Tim to you, especially when it turned out you were a lot more friendly behind closed doors. He did get to hear you complain about him and his family a lot, and it gave him a good laugh to see Bruce open a bill for your hair treatments to get rid of your greys.

The alliance between Wayne enterprises and Aces Co. only grows stronger between you two, and you end up closer to Tim than you’ve been any other bat, even Dick, despite the fact that you two are the same age and have been around each other the longest.

It ends with you going out of your way to score the best deals for (Tim) Wayne Enterprises, and Tim finds ways to benefit (you) Aces Co. Its like flirting and foreplay at the same time between very powerful rich businessmen.

For some reason I can imagine most of the batfam is shocked when Tim and you started dating, whilst some of them aren’t surprised at all. Bruce is uncomfortable in the beginning that one of his former business partners is dating his son, until someone (most likely Jason) points out that you aren’t even 30 yet and took over your company the moment you turned 18.

Your relationship is kept a secret for the media, mainly to keep the drama and paparazzi away. You aren’t a very publicly affectionate person, and Tim doesn’t really like mingling with the media if he doesn’t have too, so it’s a win-win.

The two of you don’t go out of your way to be super secretive though, you just aren’t all lovey dovey all over each other. Some people may notice you getting a lot crueler and colder to those trying to cross Wayne Enterprises, and Tim striking down hard on anyone who tries Aces Co.

It’s assumed it’s just cuz you two are both young CEOs who are trying to strengthen the relationship between your companies. All your mutual friends and families knows its cuz you are both protective and a little possessive.

You are most likely the one in the relationship with the most experience since Tim has spent most of his time being a vigilante, so you’ll have to guide him in the beginning. He’s a great and enthusiastic learner though, so Tim probably ends up doing all kinds of research.

He lovingly calls you his old man, or jokingly calls you a cradle-snatcher, since you look older than you actually are cuz of your greys. It probably causes some drama online when your relationship finally gets out, until people are like “He’s literally only 26, he’s just greying early”.

Tim will comfort you when you end up with your face in your hands because of those comments, weeping for your once beautiful and not grey streaked hair. He loves it though, and always tells you.

You tell Tim he likes it cuz of his daddy issues, and he ends up being all “maybe so”. Doesn’t stop him from loving it though, or loving to see that foxlike glint appear in your eyes when you are about to strike on a deal.

#male reader #dc #tim drake #red robin #young justice #tim drake x reader #tim drake imagine #tim drake headcanon #tim drake x male reader #red robin headcanon #red robin imagine #red robin x reader #red robin x male reader #dc imagine #dc headcanon #dc x male reader #dc x reader #young justice imagine #young justice x reader #young justice headcanon #young justice x male reader

[sygol]

Why do all queer people suddenly have to be ok with pedophile/incest/zoo shit? "Block and move on" doesn't change the fact that I see people interacting with genuine fucking cp. I report what I can and I'm told I'm an exclusionist anti kink homophobe. This isn't fucking healthy for anyone.

i cant speak for everything but i think you're being delusional, most queer people are not pedophiles, youre probably referring to ageplay (adults pretending to act in ways that can't tangibly harm children), most queer people are not zoophiles, you're probably referring to furrys or therians etc (adults pretending to act in ways that can't tangibly harm animals), most queer people are not even doing incest with their familial siblings, they are doing fauxcest (adults pretending to act in ways outside the sanctity of your nuclear family ideals).

if you see art that depicts animal/furry sex or incest or rape, you have to understand that this is not tangibly harming anymore, depictions of underage characters or adults pretending to be children is not cp and to say something like this is offensive to actual csa survivors. i say all this because what you're saying sounds extremely reactionary and based on a facist narrative. like no, most queer people are not grooming children or fucking dogs, youre regurgitating bullshit.

i dont have time to explain the more complex grey areas of the world we live in, becsuse its not as simple as "this notion is good and that notion is bad" but you need to first off understand, that your disgust does not equate to harm, if you are uncomfortable with something, it is not the fault of other people to conform to how you think they should behave. harm in this context is when someone who doesnt want to be engaging with something is being forced or coerced into it. consider asking people if they are being harmed instead of projecting your own expectations onto them.

of course there exists specific cases of actual children being abused and animals being harmed and then something should probably be done, for the victims, the harm should be rectified. instead of trying to punish the abuser (doesnt work). if you actually care about not being a reactionary homophobe, then read a book about prison abolition and queer history in the context of facism and stop hassling me about it, its not my job to learn you how to stop being a pinhead

#asks

[kalfui]

been thinking about aroace alastor a lot, in the sense that ofc this is simply canon and i wouldnt even BE thinking about it beyond a simple "woohoo this is fun, let's think about how that might have affected him and his relationships both whilst alive and after his death and fic and art and the usual joy of character analysis" if it weren't for the fact that it seems to be a flipping fight to just. Have that canon be acknowledged, which is taking up so much energy that it's honestly hard for me to enjoy him as much as I wish, considering this rep is supposed to be For people like me

and I think that's so much of my frustration around all of this, which IS mitigated by just finding a few chill people to follow and focusing on that -- but even then most of my "suggested for you" for this show is alastor x [insert any random main character] shipping/sexual content -- is that this is an offering for people to learn something new and delve into experiences that they may not have thought much about and the ones who know what aroace means, and in particular within the realms of how this character is being written within this particular very-sex-heavy universe (so, not so different from real life), by and large decided to just go "nah." people aren't interested in aroace experiences, and it's weird from a "so you just don't like a large part of this character's canon traits then, do you like the actual character, or just the OC you've made up in your head that happens to look like them?" perspective, but mostly for me it's that a lot of the way people talk/write about this it's like aroaceness is something that needs to be Fixed Somehow, and thank Goodness there's a neat little loophole that we can utilise in the form of "well sooooome aroace people do want to have sex and be in a relationship"

so many of the things I can't help but see, block, move on from, and in the ao3 alastor tag (which, it's frankly wild to me that aroace alastor has to be a specific tag, because so much of it ISN'T that, and even then we have to sift) is either just the equivalent of going "lalalala if I don't think about the aroaceness it's not real" or the even more disturbing "now how do we fix this so that the ace character can still fuck somehow." it's really creepy, and very much how people talk about aspec people irl. it's just incredibly poor taste and shows that this community is still so invisible

people really ought to think more about why this is such an important hill for them to die on that they want to Fix aroaceness in one of the only genre-fiction characters to be canonically such, ON a show where every other character enthusiastically enjoys sex and most of them are in established relationships or various slowburns -- why is the character that is not interested the one that is shipped with every other character to such an extreme?

I feel like anyone writing an aroace alastor that mysteriously can be compelled into sex and a romantic relationship needs to give me a 3000 page essay on the history and philosophy of aspec identities with a special section on aroace representation in media

but ultimately it's just a "look. please be kinder. if you look in our sandbox we have barely any toys, why are you coming into this sandbox to take more of them and then rubbing our faces in it and THEN being rude to aspec people when we say it makes many of us uncomfortable to be sidelined like this?"

I keep thinking of that one screenshot that was going around tumblr of the person who wrote straight brokeback mountain fic that everyone was going WTF about. why is it alright to "headcanon" away canon aroaceness (and mock people who point out its canonicity), but it's largely agreed to be in poor taste to do so with other canonically established queer identities?

I get fandom's not activism, but it sure sometimes can be a yardstick for how much I'd trust people to respect me irl, when I cannot enjoy aroace escapism without being talked over/mocked/yelled at AND having aspec theories appropriated without any understanding of what they actually mean or how they apply -- this history and community is a part of my life, and it's like people are just traipsing mud through it with the lack of respect for it (as lucifer would say "you come into MY house bitch???")

(apologies this got long. you don't have to post if you don't want to, I get that it could be inflammatory and don't want to put that on you, I've just been needing to vent. I just feel like I'm going a bit crazy with how nigh-impossible it is to avoid this -- why am I the one who's having to make all that extra effort to enjoy a character written with my community in mind? don't y'all have enough toys???)

Don't apologize, I absolutely love reading how others feel about this situation, and I completely agree.

I think it's sad how people don't want to think about a characters aroaceness and how it affects them and instead just throw that part of them out of the window. I think it's even more interesting since Alastor canonically thinks that he's straight, but hasn't found the right one yet.

"Headcanoning" a canonically aroace character a different sexuality is so.. I don't even have a word it. Many people "headcanon" Alastor a different sexuality, but keep it canon when it's Angel Dust or Vaggie. Personally, I think it stems from aphobia. Just like you mentioned, people feel the need to "fix" aroace characters, like their sexuality is a messed up or broken part of them. It reminds me of when I used to hear teachers talk about how everyone will someday find love, and the ones who don't will have a huge gap in their heart and be empty. It's quite terrifying just how similar it is. The fact that he, as the only confirmed aroace character, is shipped the most, too, is quite saddening.

It's disturbing how they search and search for stuff to use as excuses when they ship aroace characters. "Aroace people can still date," "It's just headcanons," "Alastor is not canonically aro," and so on.

Ao3 scares me, especially with characters like Alastor. You don't even wanna know how many times I've seen people say, "I know Alastor is aroace, but we'll just ignore that" in fics. Most of the time, they even change his character completely, and he's so out of character.

It also kinda disgusts me with the stuff people say about Alastor, I can be scrolling on Tumblr and a post comes up saying how Alastor would fuck the living shit out of you and it's so fucking disturbing and graphic, I guess this is just how it is generally when people talk about fan favorite characters, but when it's an aroace character too, like.. no, he wouldn't do any of that.. It's so weird. This is what people care about, sexualizing. They don't even seem to care how much of a complex character he actually is, but only how he would be during sex, and it's quite disturbing that most of the time he is the victim to these type of comments.

And, with the amount of hate I've gotten from tiktokers in my comment replies saying how either Alastor isn't aro, how he's just fictional and it's not erasing any representation by shipping him, how aroace people can still date, how Viv allowed them to ship him, and even saying that it's okay to ship him because he's a stereotype and bad rep (???) and whatever else they have to say, I quite literally do not care. I'm not gonna be humiliated into silence, I'm not ashamed about the fact I'm trying to keep these crumbs of representation we have left. "Boohoo, you talk too much about Alastor being aroace," and I'll continue, I think that's a lovely and very interesting part about his character, especially from the time period is from, and the fact he's unaware too.

it's kinda sad how a lot of people don't even know that he's aro, I wouldn't either since all the fandom does with him is ship him. There are so many other relationships people could dive into, Husk and Angel Dust, Charlie and Vaggie, Vox and Valentino, and many more, but yet they go for the aroace character.. Also the fact that since the pilot the character he's mostly been shipped with is Angel, a character who makes a lot of sexual remarks towards Alastor which he very obviously feels repulsed and disgusted by, is kinda just.. where's the appeal when he's clearly disgusted? Is that part of it? I'm glad that there is a side of this fandom where people actually love him for his character and not just because he's attractive.

Other than that, I'm very glad the show itself knows how to show he can have meaningful friendships and platonic relationships with people, such as Rosie, and didn't make him an edgelord that hates everyone and doesn't have friends for some random reason.

Thanks so much for sharing your thoughts with me, I enjoyed reading through it, and again, I completely agree. I just hope the fandom could realize he's a lovely character and that him being aroace is just a part of him like it is of us.

#hazbin hotel #hazbin #alastor #hazbin hotel alastor #aroace #aroace alastor #aromantic #aromantism #asexual #asexuality #vivziepop #vivienne medrano #spindlehorse #angel dust #radioapple #radiostatic #radiodust #a lot of words for me #especially at 2am #i love when people tell me their thoughts in my inbox ugh its so amazing #im defo going to sleep now #aromanticism

[fanfic-wonderland]

This Is War {Fred Weasley} - Part 2

Pairing: Fred Weasley x Fem!Reader

Summary: After avoiding Fred for so long, (Y/N) finally has to face him again when they're paired up for a Potions assignment.

Word count: 7.8k

Read part one here.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Are you still not going to talk to him?” Daphne asks me during lunch, the same way she has asked me every day for the past few weeks.

Ever since I told her about my little… moment with Fred, she hasn’t stopped talking about it one way or another, even when I’ve asked her plenty of times not to. She seems to have become obsessed with the idea of him and I getting together because, according to her, we’d make “an oddly cute” couple, and also “because there is nothing interesting happening in my life and I want to live through you”. I don’t know what’s gone wrong with her head; I have made it extremely clear that the kiss meant nothing to me, that it was just something that happened in the heat of the moment when I was dampened and terrified and he was the only one there giving me the slightest bit of comfort. Either she still doesn’t get that, or she just doesn’t want to. “For the last time, Daphne Greengrass,” I say through gritted teeth. “No. And It’s the last time I’ll say it.”

Daphne whines like a toddler. “But why? It’s clear that he wants to talk to you!”

The kiss happened nearly two weeks ago. After I fled the scene, Fred made numerous attempts to approach me, but I would always find a way to cut the conversation short or avoid it at all costs. He seemed to finally get the hint because It’s been a few days since his last attempt. The only one who hasn’t gotten the hint yet is the girl sitting across from me. “He has his own life to worry about. I’m pretty sure he dropped it already, and so should you.”

She pouts as I stab a piece of pork chop and chew on it. “How are you so sure if you haven’t even talked to him about it yet? Maybe he doesn’t want to make you uncomfortable and he’s just waiting for you to reach out to him.”

“Forget it, Daphne, there’s nothing to talk about,” I state firmly. “I made a stupid little mistake, that’s all. It’s not like I’m going to go ahead and do it again.”

“I bet you want to, though,” she mutters as she drinks from her cup. 

Her voice is low, and she thinks she’s sneaky, but I hear her. I refrain from saying anything else about it, though. It’s no use trying to convince her otherwise.

Fortunately, Daphne does not bring him up for the remainder of our lunch, nor does she bring him up while we learn how to turn vinegar into wine during Charms, or when we’re fighting not to fall asleep during History of Magic. I begin to think that maybe she’s finally gotten the hint until we arrive at the Potions classroom.

Professor Snape places a small bubbling cauldron on top of his desk as we all walk in—Gryffindors on one side of the room and Slytherins on the other. Through the corner of my eye, I spot the unmistakable pair of redheaded twins, sitting two tables to my right, and I fight the urge to turn and see if one of them is looking. “Settle down, all of you,” Professor Snape says in his usual dull voice. “Today, aside from your usual class, you will be placed in pairs for a special project. You will have to work with another student and brew the most powerful Truth Serum to ever exist—the Veritaserum. While it is very easy to sneak it into someone’s pumpkin juice, the brewing process is long and complex. That is why you’ll be working with a partner to make this potion. The longer its effect, the higher your grade.”

A Gryffindor boy raises an arm and Snape turns to him with a sneer. “Does that mean we have to work on it through Spring break?”

“Unless you want to fail, then yes, you should start on the first day of Spring break.”

Nearly every student in the classroom, including Daphne and I, groans in protest. Snape’s lips curl up into a nasty smirk. “That’s quite enough, I do not need to hear your whining. Get it done, or else you fail my class.”

As students begin to look around for their desired partners, I link my arm with Daphne’s. “It shouldn’t be too hard once we combine our geniuses.”

Daphne laughs and agrees. Professor Snape’s eyes fall on us for a quick second before he adds, “I forgot to mention that this is not a friendship project. This time, I’ll be assigning the pairings.”

The class groans even louder than the first time. “Enough,” Snape holds a hand up and we quiet down. “Perhaps when you learn to behave in my class I’ll give you the privilege of choosing your partner, but right now you'll work with what I give you. Now…”

Snape taps the cauldron with the tip of his wand twice and two small pieces of paper fly out of the cauldron. He catches them mid-air and begins to read aloud. “Johnson, Angelina and Warrington, Cassius.”

And then he does the same thing with the rest of the students. Daphne and I frown at each other once we hear her name being called alongside Alicia Spinnet but I guess it was expected that we’d be separated for this assignment from the beginning. The problem is, I realize as I scan the room, that there’s no one else I’d like to work with, and the people who would be fairly tolerable are already paired up with someone else. This assignment is looking to be the worst of the year so far. 

“Weasley, Fred and (Y/L/N), (Y/N).”

The absolute worst.

Daphne gasps quietly once she hears the names, her eyes on the brink of popping out. “Did he just…”

“Uh-huh,” I can’t construct a proper reaction. It feels like someone has just slapped me.

I make the mistake of looking over at Fred only to find that he’s already staring at me. He shrugs innocently but he’s clearly trying to hold back a smile while George is dying from laughter behind him. I glare at them and turn away. It can’t be a coincidence that we ended up working together. I refuse to believe that life is this cruel. “I don’t get it,” I protest as we walk out of the classroom. “How in the bloody hell do I get paired up with the person I wanted to avoid the most?”

“Hey, look on the bright side,” Daphne suggests, like there actually is a bright side. “At least you’re not working with Crabbe or Goyle.”

“You know, I think at this point I’d rather be working with either of them. At least they’re tame.”

“Yeah, and they’ll probably be more concerned with trying to eat your lunch or something.”

I laugh at her words but it is still not enough to distract me entirely from the situation. Because at the end of the day, I’m still paired up with Fred Weasley for an assignment I could do independently. “What have I possibly done to deserve something like this? There’s no way that life would just pull something like this out of nowhere.”

Daphne places a hand on my shoulder. “I did tell you to clear things out with him.”

I sigh. “You did. Do you think I’m being punished for avoiding the situation?”

“I totally do,” She nods. “Well that, or maybe it was just that Felix Felicis I drank in the morning taking effect,”

“True,” I agree… and then I halt my steps. “Wait, what did you just say?”

She stops walking as well, blinking cluelessly. “Oh, remember that Felix Felicis I brewed months ago? Well, I drank some of it today to help me with the Transfiguration test and I guess I did a great job brewing it because I seem to keep getting good luck everywhere I go. Neat, right?”

“And you’ve also been crying about Fred and I not talking for weeks,” I grab her by the collar of her shirt and she shrieks. People passing by shoot us odd looks but I’m too busy throwing daggers at her. “You were wishing for something like this to happen and of course, as soon as you drink a bit of Liquid Luck, it happens.”

“Well…” She tries to think of something before she gives up. “Okay yeah, so maybe it was kind of my fault, but you know what? You’ll thank me soon enough.”

“Right now I want to murder you,” I push her back and start walking away.

“Oh, hush, It’s not that big of a deal,” Daphne catches up. “So what if you have to work with him on a potion that takes too long to brew? So what if you have you spend your free time with him and—”

“Stop, stop, stop,” I cover my ears. “I do not want to hear it!”

Daphne leans closer and lowers her voice. “Well, you better do something about that because I think he’s waiting to talk to you.”

I follow her eyes and turn to look at Fred, who is usually walking alongside George and Lee Jordan but now is on his own leaning against a wall, hands buried in his pockets. He doesn’t try to hide the fact that he’s staring at me and I have to turn away. “I guess I do have to talk to him at some point. There’s no way out of this…”

She shakes her head slowly and I sigh. It takes every bit of me to turn back around and start walking towards him, but I do it. For the first time in what feels like so long I’m standing face-to-face with him; the two of us just stare at each other for a few moments. “Hi,” Fred breaks the silence.

“Hi,” I say flatly.

There’s a slight flirtatious glint in his eyes all of a sudden. “So… we’re all coupled up now, eh?”

I blink. “Can you not phrase it like that? Anyway, as you already know we have to work on this potion during our Spring break.”

Fred nods slowly. “Right…?”

“So, that means that we’ll have to meet outside of Hogwarts.”

“You want me to come over to your house, then?” He wiggles his eyebrows.

I tense up. I could never consider asking him to come over to my house, not even jokingly. That place is cold and empty, and my family is not the most welcoming with families like Fred’s. Even if I’m not fond of Fred, I would never want to put him through something like that. “Your house sounds like the better option, if you don't mind.” I say.

Fred raises an eyebrow. “You sure?”

“Yes, why?”

He shrugs. “I just think that maybe my house won’t be to your taste, that’s all.”

I roll my eyes. “Don’t be ridiculous. As long as your family doesn’t mind, I can stop by.”

“They won’t. Here—” Fred takes out a folded parchment paper and hands it to me. “Here’s my address. I’ll see you, then?”

“Yeah. Until then.”

We walk away from each other and I’m feeling nauseous all of a sudden. 

Bloody hell, I have no idea how I’ll survive this…

***

The first day of Spring break arrives in the blink of an eye. Part of me is glad that I don’t have to spend my day at the manor because I’d rather be anywhere else, even Fred Weasley’s house. The other good thing is that, since I can finally use magic outside of school, I can simply apparate anywhere whenever I want. We decide to meet close to sunset, so around five thirty I gather everything I need and I get ready to disapparate from my house without the need to remind my parents where I’ll be. I’m not even sure if they’re still around (or if they even care) but I don’t think of them as the horrible sensation of apparating begins. Everything twists and turns around me, including myself, until finally, I stand amid sunshine, peace, and fresh air. I take it all in once I regain my composure. The place is a beautiful meadow and in it, a few yards away from me, stands a very peculiar, very lopsided house. It’s several stories high, with about four or five chimneys perched on top of its red roof, and a nice open yard at the entrance. I look around to make sure that there are no other houses around. This has to be it.

I walk toward it, careful not to bother the chickens wandering around the yard. There’s a sign near the entrance that reads THE BURROW and that’s how I’m certain that I’m in the right place. Fred specifically wrote that name down on the instructions. 

Now that I know that I’m at Fred Weasley’s house, I start getting a tad bit nervous. “Come on, (Y/N), you got this. You’re just here to work on a school project, It’s no big deal.” After taking a few deep breaths, I finally find the courage to knock on the door. For the first few seconds, nothing happens, but soon I begin to hear faded footsteps coming from inside. They start sounding closer, and soon enough someone is opening the door. It’s an older woman with lovely red hair, slightly shorter than me. I instantly know that I am staring down at Fred’s mother. “Hello, dear. You must be (Y/N),” She greets me warmly and I nod with a courteous smile. “Oh, good, how wonderful that you’ve made it! Fred has talked so much about you these past few days.”

“Has he?”

“Oh, yes—come in, come in!” Mrs. Weasley steps aside so I can cross the threshold. “And he wanted everything to look good before you arrived. It usually takes a lot to get him to do his chores, but this time he started on them without me even asking him, so I bet you’re quite a special girl. Anyway, you set your stuff over there on the sofa, make yourself comfortable, and I’ll fetch him. Dinner’s almost ready so I hope you’re hungry.”

She gives me one final smile before she walks up the stairs while calling Fred’s name, but my mind can only spiral around the things she was saying a moment ago. My face feels like It’s boiling, and it shouldn’t be, but the fact that his mom thinks that I’m a ‘special girl’ to him makes me…

Nope. No. No. You need to snap out of it, girl.

I focus my attention back on my surroundings. Everything is so different from my house… and yet, somehow, It’s so much better. The living room is welcoming and cozy and homey. The smell of roast beef and potatoes fills the air, making my stomach grumble. I hadn’t realized how hungry I was earlier. I sit down on the sofa and wait patiently for Mrs. Weasley to come back. I’m staring at the family clock, watching the golden hand with Fred’s face on it pointing at the word HOME, until I hear quick footsteps coming down the stairs. I turn to look at Fred’s real face this time. “I see you were able to get here without getting lost on the way,” He says.

I pry my attention away from the fact that his hair is dripping wet and sticking to his forehead like he just got out of the shower. “I did not doubt myself for a moment. Shall we start working on the potion so we can get it over with?”

“Wow, you really don’t want to be here, do you?” Fred chuckles. “We’re not even going to wait for dinner first?”

I sigh. “I just don’t think It’s a good idea for me to stay too long.”

“Because you kissed me.” He doesn’t say it like a question.

“Can you not say that so loud?” I shush him, making sure his mom is still out of sight, but his grin does not falter. I don’t even want to imagine how red my face is. “But… yes, kind of.”

“Well, I’m willing to look past it if you want me to,” He says. “Unless there’s another reason you don’t want to stay?”

I furrow my eyebrows. “What other reason could there be?”

“I guess I thought that maybe you’d think my house isn’t as nice as yours…”

I stare at him in disbelief. “You really have to stop assuming that I have some sort of superiority complex over you. And for your information, I think your house is lovely.”

Fred looks surprised for a moment. “Really?”

“Yeah,” I confirm. “I probably like it a lot more than mine.”

He stares at me for a second but before either of us can say anything else, Mrs. Weasley comes back to the room. “Fred, why don’t you show (Y/N) around the rest of the house? I’ll call you all back here once the food is ready.”

Fred turns to me. “You want to?”

I cannot bring myself to say no in front of his mother. “Sure,”

He starts his little house tour from the top floor, which happens to be where his younger brother, Ron, and his best friend, Harry Potter, stay. There are five floors in total but there’s not much to see. It's mostly just the bedrooms, but the house is still larger than what I had envisioned. The family is much larger as well. “This is the second floor, and our last stop,” Fred says once we take the last step. There are two bedroom doors on this floor level. “And this is mine and George’s room. I’ll let you get a sneak peek of our latest invention if you behave.”

I roll my eyes as he opens the door. “Gee, what an honor.”

Fred and George’s bedroom is somehow almost exactly as I had imagined it—not that I’ve been spending time imagining what their room looks like. It’s a simple room: it has two identical beds, each with a bedside table, a large wardrobe, some posters pasted around the walls, and a desk holding stuff… lots of different stuff. There is a particular lingering smell of gunpowder around and I cannot even begin to imagine the things that happen inside this walls. I step inside and glance at the mess on the desk. Amongst everything else, I see a briefcase with the words Weasleys’ Wizard Wheezes engraved on the side sticking out from the rest of the things. I point toward it with a questioning look. “Ah,” He clasps his hands together. “I see you’ve already spotted our products.”

“Your products?”

“George and I invent joke products,” Fred explains. “We’ve actually started testing them out at Hogwarts recently.”

“Really, at Hogwarts? And you don’t get in trouble for it?”

“Well, I didn’t say that,” Fred wags his finger practically on my face. He walks to the case and opens it; a bunch of bottles, vials, and boxes of all kinds jump out all at once and set themselves in front of us like a magic exhibition. “But anyway, we mostly just want feedback. We’re planning to open our own joke shop after we graduate and we want everything to be right.”

“Huh,” I never would’ve guessed. When he mentioned their “inventions” I instantly assumed he was talking about crafts or something. I know Fred and George love to get under people’s skin with their little pranks, but I never thought that they loved pranking so much they wanted to build a living around it. But then again, we’ve never been close, so all I know about them is what I've seen back at the castle, which I also tend to avoid.  

As I go over the products in silence, my eyes get drawn to the sight of a small brown box. It doesn’t have a label or a logo or any eye-catching design, but it has COMB-A-CHAMELEON handwritten on it and that’s enough to get me intrigued. I look back at him, asking for his permission, and when he motions for me to go on with his hand, I grab it. Inside I can only find an ordinary-looking hairbrush, which throws me off because I was expecting something more, I don’t know, magical? I guess my confusion is clear because Fred laughs lightly while I just keep staring. “Would you like to try it out?” He asks.

I look up at him warily, looking for any signs of malice, but all I can find is a redheaded boy who seems excited by the idea of me using one of his products. “I don’t know if I should…”

“I can promise you that It’s nothing too bad.”

“You don’t strike me as trustworthy when it comes to these things.”

“Okay, fair enough,” Fred admits. “But I’m telling the truth this time, I promise. Go ahead, try it.”

I almost back down from it but I can’t help feeling bad just thinking about it. Fred looks like a kid who attempted to make breakfast by himself and is waiting for his mom to eat it. So I grab the brush and, hesitantly, I start combing my hair. A few brushes are enough to do the trick. Soon enough, I feel some tugging happening around my head. The process lasts a few seconds and then I feel the weight of my hair go down, but it feels lighter. Fred rubs his chin while he stares at me. I have no idea how I look but he nods in approval. “Alright,” He motions toward the mirror hanging from the door. “Go ahead and take a look.”

When I turn to look, I gasp. I expect my hair, which I had let fall down my back in curls earlier, to look like a bird’s nest by the time I’m done, but much to my surprise it is now pulled back into a nice long braid. “Fred,” I run my fingers through it.  “This is very impressive! And you guys came up with this from scratch?”

“Yup. Every single one of them.” He sounds proud of himself and his brother. And he should be.

“What else do you have?”

“Oh, tons of stuff,” He reaches and grabs another box, the same color but slightly bigger. This one says SKIVING SNACKBOX in big bold letters and when he opens it there's a ton of what looks like individually wrapped pieces of candy. Fred takes a single piece and removes the wrapping. One side is an orange color while the other one is purple. “This is our most tested product so far. When you eat the orange half of the candy you start to feel ill—nothing too bad, just enough to get you out of class—and then once you’re finally out, you take the purple half and you feel better again, ready to enjoy your free time. Brilliant, I know.”

“And you’re aware that this leaves a horrible example for younger generations, right?”

“Yeah, we hope so,” He rubs his palms together and it reminds me of a cheesy villainous moment. Then, he offers me the open candy in his hand. “Wanna try it out?”

I roll my eyes and push his hand away. “I can’t believe that you and your brother are throwing your talent away by making… these.”

“Wait, did I just hear a compliment in between all of that?” Fred leans close with a hand behind his ear, pretending to be bad at hearing.

My eyes roll for a second time because this boy just loves to make my eyes… nevermind. “All I’m saying is that maybe you should focus your attention on creating something more… useful?”

Fred pretends to look offended. “This is useful! Why spend so many hours in class when you can be using the time to do more important things, like playing games or sleeping?”

“Of course,” I say sarcastically. “It’s not like we need education or anything,” I then spot a bigger box, this one a bright pink color, and point to it. “What’s that?”

When he sees what I’m pointing at, he smirks at me. “Those are our WonderWitch products. They come in a variety; we have things like pimple vanishers to love potions.”

I quirk a brow. “Love potions?”

“The best love potions around,” He says, a hint of a smirk on his lips as he leans against his desk. “Although I don’t think you really need one.”

I nearly gape at him. “What do you mean?”

Fred shrugs. “I think Malfoy may already have the hots for you. I see the way he looks at you.”

“Excuse me?!” In what world does Draco Malfoy like me? And in what world would I ever reciprocate those same feelings?

“I’m joking,” Fred chuckles at my mortified expression. “But I’m sure there are guys at the school who are head over heels for you.”

I scoff. “I doubt it.”

He stares down at me, and I swear we’re standing closer to each other than before. “I wouldn’t.”

I blink a few times. I want to say something back but I do not know what. What do you even say to that? Luckily, Mrs. Weasley’s voice coming from downstairs, announcing that dinner is ready, fills in the blank space and I take the opportunity to close the subject. “We should go.”

We exit the twins’ bedroom but before we can head down the stairs, I halt my steps. “Wait,” I point to the other door. “You never told me whose room that is.”

Fred turns to look at it. “Oh,” Something flashes across his expression and I’m unsure what it is. “No one’s. Come on, Mom’s waiting.”

He keeps walking and, although I find his reaction odd, I follow him without saying anything else.

***

I have never been close to my family. Due to our differing ideals, my parents and I always end every single conversation with an argument, so we try to speak to each other as little as possible. My brother is kind of walking along the same path, unfortunately, and although he’s a bit more tolerable, a lot of times it still feels like I’m talking to a wall. Dinner, specifically, has always been a horrible time, because I get to sit there and listen to them complain about muggle-borns, support the Ministry and its lies, praise my brother for following their footsteps, and criticize me for never wanting to be like them.

With the Weasleys, it feels completely different. It feels nice and comfortable, and the topic of blood status is not brought up once. Their dynamic feels so natural and like how a true family should be. Mrs. Weasley scolds her children every five minutes but you can tell that she loves them more than anything else. She also likes to insist on me grabbing more servings, and if my stomach was bottomless I’d probably eat every single thing on the table. Mr. Weasley is fascinated by my knowledge of the muggle world and how it functions, although It’s mostly just things I’ve learned from Muggle Studies. Contrary to what I’ve always thought of her, Ginny is pretty cool. She and I share similar tastes and her impressions are hilarious and spot on. Ron is a bit awkward and is mostly just eating and talking to Harry Potter, who happens to be staying over for spring break, but now and then he asks me a question if he’s interested enough in what I’m saying. The twins get in trouble several times, one of them being when they decided to sneak a fake spider into Ron’s plate, which made him nearly faint. And although I’ve been acting like a total bitch to him for so long, Fred makes sure that I don’t feel left out, often trying to include me in the conversation or playfully teasing me in a way. But I find that I don’t mind it; It’s the most fun I’ve had in a while.

After we’re done with dinner, I am forced to decline Ginny’s offer to go flying for a bit because we still have to work on the potion, which I had almost forgotten about by the time Mrs. Weasley brought in dessert, but I tell her that we can try and get together another time to do so. Fred and I head directly back to his room so we can get it over with. I'm surprised to discover that Fred works really well as a team when he actually commits to it. “Can I ask you a question?” I ask him while I add and stir Powdered Moonstone into the cauldron.

He thinks about it but not for long. “Only if I can ask one back.”

Of course, there’s always a catch with him. “Okay, whatever,” I say defeatedly. “Whose room is the one across from yours?”

Fred sighs as his usual playful demeanor suddenly drops for a moment, but he tries to hide the fact that the question has any effect on him as he helps me slice Adder's Fork. “It’s Percy’s, my older brother,” He finally answers. “He kind of doesn’t live here anymore.”

“Did something happen?” I ask without thinking. And then I realize how nosy I sounded. “Sorry, I shouldn’t have asked, It’s none of my business—”

“No, I don’t mind,” He shakes his head. He’s being genuine. “You know about the whole thing happening with Harry and the Ministry of Magic, right?”

“About You-Know-Who coming back and the Ministry feeding lies to everyone because they’re cowards?”

Fred nods. “Pretty much. Well, Percy is siding with the Ministry because he's a git, and he and Dad had a very bad argument about it a few weeks ago. Then he just left and we haven’t heard from him since.”

“Oh, wow,” I say with wide eyes. “That must’ve been hard for all of you.”

“Especially for mom. She’s cried every single day after he left.” 

There’s a hint of sadness in his tone that I’ve never heard from him before and I can’t shake away the uncomfortable feeling I get from it. I guess I’ve never thought of Fred Weasley as someone who gets sad now and then, who maybe even cries when he’s upset, but at the end of the day, he’s still human just like me. “I’m so sorry.” I can’t help but say.

“You don’t have to be,” Fred says, giving me a reassuring smile. “But anyway, now It’s my turn,” His tone changes drastically back to its typical self. “Why didn’t you want me to visit your house? Because I saw how tense you got when I mentioned it.”

“Simple,” I slightly raise the heat on the cauldron after Fred drops the Adder’s Fork into the mixture. “My family is not very pleasant to be around with.”

“I guess I kind of figured. Are they…?”

“Blood supremacists? Yes,” I answer. “The worst kind possible. That’s why as soon as I graduate I want to find my own place and cut all ties with them immediately. They know I want to, and they don’t care, either.”

Fred remains silent for a moment while he adds the Jobberknoll Feathers. “I didn't know that.”

I shrug. “I guess I've grown used to it. I've had to put up with them my whole life, but I'm glad I'll soon have the chance to go my own way.”

“Another question,” He says, almost like he’s asking permission to do so, but he doesn’t wait for me to answer. “Are your parents Death Eaters?”

The question stings, and I consider lying for a quick moment, but I slowly nod.

Fred’s eyes grow big. “Bloody hell.”

“Yup,” I say. It’s a conversation I don’t want to have with anyone but he would’ve found out eventually. It’s a shock he didn't know about it already. “That's why people tend to have a bad image of me once they find out. It's bad enough that I'm in Slytherin, people already think I'm a delinquent just by that alone. And that’s why I rather just not talk about my family.”

The room goes quiet for a second while I stir the potion clockwise. Then, Fred says, “Well, congrats. You’ve actually made me feel bad.”

“What for?”

“Before getting to know you better, I didn't like you for the mere fact that I thought you were an uptight Slytherin, just because you seemed to dislike mine and George’s pranks,” He explains.

I chuckle, reminiscing about the ongoing war between both of our Houses and all the times Fred and George managed to piss us off. “Hey, I don’t hold it against you. You’re not the only one. Besides, I  didn’t like you either, so we’re even.”

Fred smirks. “Didn’t?”

“I guess you’re not… as bad as I thought,” I confess, avoiding his eyes.

“Huh,” He says. “I think that’s the nicest thing you’ve ever said about me.”

***

When I leave the Burrow, there’s a hollow feeling in my chest. As soon as I’m greeted by the cold presence of my parents back at the manor, I realize how long I’ve always longed for something like what I experienced tonight. In a single day the Weasleys made me feel like I'd been a part of their family forever, something my own family has yet to accomplish. 

The Easter break goes by way too slowly, and for me that’s not necessarily a good thing. I spend a lot of alone time at the manor, although sometimes I meet up with Daphne, and on the second to last day, I go back to the Burrow one more time because there is still one important step to complete in the brewing process, which is to get the potion to absorb moonlight on the night of the full moon. But we manage to do it without trouble, although, by the time I'm back at the manor, there is something deep down still troubling me. 

When we’re finally back at Hogwarts, Fred finds me to test out the potion the day before we have to show it in class, and we go all the way up to the Astronomy Tower. “Okay,” Fred says as soon as we are all settled in. “You got the good stuff?”

I grab my bag and take out the the vial of colorless liquid. It might as well be water, exactly as it should be. The two of us observe the Veritaserum with pride. I reach into the bag again and take out a glass dropper I’d borrowed from Daphne while he opens the vial. “So, who goes first?” Fred asks.

I purse my lips in thought. “What if we drink it at the same time and then we just take turns asking each other a question?”

“Nice. Rock paper scissors to see who gets to ask first?”

We tie for two rounds straight before he beats me with rock. I hand him the dropper and he squeezes some of the liquid into it. “Remember, three drops should be enough for it to work,” I remind him.

He nods. He passes the dropper back to me when he’s done and I take the three drops. There’s no smell and no taste, either, which is better than it being disgusting. I wait for something to happen, any indication that the serum has started taking effect, but I don’t feel any different. Fred seems to feel the same. “So… how do we know if It’s working?”

“I don’t know,” I say. “Ask me a question, I guess.”

“Uhh… what’s your favorite color?”

“Seriously?” Fred holds his hands up in defense and I sigh and answer anyway. “Yellow.”

He raises a brow, eyeing me carefully. “Is that true?”

“It is.”

“Okay, then maybe It’s working! Now you ask me something.”

I try to think of something else, something that a guy like him usually lies about. “Did you do your homework during Spring break?”

“Absolutely not.”

“What were you doing in the meantime?”

“George and I were busy perfecting some of our products,” Fred answers. I don’t even have to question if It’s true. “Speaking of, who do you think is the cuter twin?”

“You, of course,” I say, and then I cover my mouth, but It’s too late. That’s far from what I wanted to say but I guess the serum really is working now. Fred is grinning from ear to ear without a care in the world, and he’s clearly enjoying this. Before he can say anything, I ask the first thing that comes to mind. “What do you really think about me?”

He blinks at me, taken aback, but he answers without stuttering. “Well, at first, I thought you were just another annoying, hateful Slytherin—cute, but hateful. But then I realized that you're probably the coolest girl I've ever met.”

Fred looks like he just got out of a trance and he doesn’t remember anything about the last few seconds. I smile in satisfaction. He thinks he has an advantage on this little “game” but he seems to forget that we’re both in it. I can pull a secret from him just as easily. “Interesting,” I comment. “You didn't mention thinking I was cute earlier.”

“Are you trying to start something here?” He asks.

I shake my head. “I think you started it a long time ago.”

“Okay, then,” He folds his arms across his chest. “Do you regret kissing me that night?”

I try to stop myself from talking but It’s useless. Don’t answer him. “No. I don’t think I ever did.”

Shut up! Shut up shut up shut up shut up!

“I knew it,” Fred says, stepping closer. My back makes contact with the nearest wall but neither of us pulls away. “I knew that wasn’t for nothing.”

I ignore the way his eyes move down to my lips. “Did you like it when I kissed you?”

“Yes. I still think about it to this day,” He confesses shamelessly. “If you don’t regret kissing me, does that mean that you have feelings for me?”

I have gotten to know more about Fred Weasley than I had ever imagined. I’ve been to his house, I’ve met his family, I’ve seen how he is outside of school… “I do,” I tell him, locking my gaze with his. “I like you.”

There’s a brief moment of silence in which the two of us just stare at each other, indulging in what I just said. Maybe I wasn’t thinking of confessing my feelings today but It’s out now. I could Obliviate him so he forgets any of this ever happened but I… I don’t want to. And I don’t think he wants either with the way he wraps an arm around my waist and connects his lips with mine.

With his free hand, Fred brings me as close to him as humanly possible and tangles it in my hair. This kiss feels so different than the first one; I was cold, wet, terrified, and not in a good state of mind when we kissed that night, and he was not expecting me to do that. But this time we’re both warm, needy, and desperate, and I’m tired of fighting it. I’m tired of fighting him. I want him. “Good,” Fred pulls away, his voice breathless, and my heart jumps. “Because I like you, too.”

I grab him by the tie and kiss him again, and he responds right away. He holds me like I’m the most precious thing to him, like he needs me more than anything, and it makes me want him even more. I tug at his hair and he groans softly, coaxing his tongue with mine as soon as I have access. We get so caught up in each other that I begin to forget where we are; my vision and all of my senses are invaded by a tall ginger boy who just couldn’t leave me alone in the first place. And I’m so glad he didn’t.

I pull away and Fred moves to kiss my cheek and then my jawline. My heart flutters in the best way. “How long have you liked me?” I ask him while I wrap my arms around his neck.

“I think I’ve been attracted to you for a long time but when you really had me in a chokehold was when you nearly succeeded in taking the Cup from us,” Fred says. There’s a small smirk tugging at his lips. “I was so impressed by you, and then when you kissed me…” He makes a gesture as if he’s been shot through the heart. I fail to hold back my laughter. “I’ve been hooked ever since.”

I bite my lip, playing with a strand of my hair. “Anything else you want to tell me?”

“Yes, actually, there is,” I initially expect a joke or a silly comment, but once again Fred Weasley manages to take me by surprise. “If you ever need a place to stay after you graduate, do not hesitate to tell me because I’m sure mom would love to have you staying over.”

My eyebrows raise and my eyes go wide. “What?”

He scratches the back of his neck awkwardly. “I was just—you were talking about it the other day and I-I wanted you to have the option, you know, just in case…”

“Fred Weasley, are you messing with me?” I raise my fist, ready to hit his arm.

Fred grabs my wrist gently and lowers it out of sight. He’s still smiling down at me like he’s amused. “I swear that I will talk to my mom about it if you ever need me to. You can use Percy’s room or mine and George’s room if we move out.”

That’s the nicest thing anyone could ever do for me. I never thought anyone would; aside from Fred, Daphne is the only person who shows any concern over me. I know she would have no problem with me staying with her after graduation but I also know she’s leaving immediately after to live in Paris. My eyes well up with tears but I fight to keep them in. “That would be nice,” My voice is slightly shaky, but steady. “Thank you,”

A single tear escapes but Fred gently wipes it away. “You’re very welcome.”

He leans down to peck my lips. I grin in content. “Do you want to go get dinner?”

“Oh, you’re inviting me out to eat?” He wiggles his eyebrows and I hit his arm playfully. I fight back a smile.

We gather our things and head down to the Great Hall. Fred holds my hand the entire way. I must admit that it feels nice to not fight back my feelings and just enjoy my alone times with Fred, even if It's something as simple as moving from one place to another. When we're approaching the large doors, I feel Fred’s fingers abandoning mine. I look up at him and, once I see the look on his face, I realize why he does it: he thinks I don’t want to be seen with him. And, yes, maybe if Fred Weasley went to grab my hand a few weeks ago I would probably bite it off but if he doesn’t hold it now I will most definitely cry. When he’s about to turn his head, I reach to grab his hand, seeing and feeling him jump under my touch. He stares at our linked hands like he cannot believe what he’s seeing and—is that a blush tinting his cheeks? I crane my neck up and smile at him. After allowing myself to know him a little better, I’ve discovered that I love catching him off guard more than anything. It shows a whole different side of him, and It’s very attractive.

We open the giant doors to the Great Hall after Fred recovers and we walk in. A few heads turn in our direction; some of them don’t think anything interesting is going on so they go back to their plates, while others stare curiously. A few Gryffindors whisper while George and Lee Jordan smirk our way. The Slytherin table cannot help but be a bit more obvious, murmuring stuff to each other that I’m sure is nothing good and sneering at the both of us as Fred leans in close. “I think you’re getting banned from Slytherin, but don’t worry, I’m sure Gryffindor could take you in.”

I chuckle as I roll my eyes. “They’ll get over it. Anyway, I don’t care what they say. Talk to you later?”

“Of course,” Fred says.

I go to walk away but he grabs my chin and before I can ask him what he’s doing he leans down to plant a quick kiss on my lips. He walks away, leaving me standing there frozen for a moment, and before he reaches his spot on the Gryffindor table he turns his head and winks at me.  That bastard, I think as I shake my head. He did that on purpose!

When I finally reach my table I feel the daggers that my housemates are throwing at me piercing through my skull, but I focus on the beaming girl sitting across from me. I sigh as I grab my empty plate and begin serving myself. “Go on. Say whatever you have to say.”

“I told you!” She bursts. “I told you there was something there, and I told you that he liked you, and I certainly knew that you were just acting stupid. You liked him, too! You stupid, stupid bitch—”

“No insults, please.”

“But you are a stupid bitch, are you or are you not?”

“I can't say I'm not.”

“Staining the name of Slytherin yet again, (L/N)?” Draco calls from the other side of the table. “You shouldn’t even be carrying your family’s last name. It’s too big of an honor for a blood traitor like you.”

A few Slytherin laugh in agreement.  “Should she even be allowed to sit with us? I bet Weasley germs are spreading around our table already.” Pansy Parkinson grimaces.

“Well, the Parkinson germs have been spreading for years, haven’t they?” I snap back at her.

“Yeah, and no one’s said anything about it,” Daphne adds, shrugging innocently.

Pansy glares at the both of us but does not say anything else. When she turns back to her group, Daphne rolls her eyes. “The only con about all of this is that you have to put up with stuff like that.”

“That’s true,” I agree. “But I honestly don’t care.”

I turn to look at the Gryffindor table, and automatically my eyes find Fred’s figure. He’s already looking in my direction and when our eyes meet we smile. Okay, yes, I do like him. I like him a lot.

#fanfic #fanfiction #writing #harry potter au #harry potter fanfic #harry potter fanfiction #harry potter fandom #hogwarts #harry potter #fred weasley #fred weasley x reader #fred weasley scenario #fred weasley imagine #fred weasley fanfiction #fred weasley fluff #fred weasley smut #fred weasley x y/n #fred weasley x oc #fred weasley x you #fred weasley angst #harry potter imagines #harry potter imagine #harry potter fluff #harry potter smut #harry potter angst #james phelps #fred and goerge weasley #fred and george #fred and george fanfic

[teardropvampire]

To give my thoughts on the fandom discussion of the handling of DID Mikoto/John's writing after the Double mv, I think my main frustration is just the somewhat black and white attitude many people have being viewing things with. In all honesty, I think the writing is complex situation that's a lot more then just 'good rep vs bad rep'. Instead, it almost could be better viewed through what the writing choices are attempting to explore/say about the character vs what ended up coming across to viewers? Its especially hard when we're only partially through the series, meaning a lot of your current opinion has to come from how strong your faith is in the series providing satisfying narrative conclusions to all the threads we've been presented with so far. But even then, I think its both fine to be uncomfortable with his portrayal or be satisfied with it - and that mixed reaction is generally what I've seen so far, particularly from viewers who are systems themselves. Its important for us singlets that we take into account the opinions of systems who are willing to comment on the character while also using our own critical thinking. Things seem to have been a lot better so far in that regard, which is great to see.

As for me personally? I have to say that I trust in the series to deliver nuanced and respectful writing. When you take a look at the series from a wider perspective, Mikoto and John's circumstances do tie into Milgram's exploration of societal issues in a way that I'd expect to be handled with care and empathy going forward. I feel the presentation of such flawed characters and the conflicts that can arise in our voting as a result of it can be applied to not just here but all the characters in at least some way. John isn't, and was never meant to be portrayed as purely antagonistic or monotonous, and I'm glad that idea has gotten more focus in this trial. This complex presentation of the cast's actions, as confronting as it often may be, have always been to help us understand and connect with the prisoners, rather than demonize them as foreign entities. This is particularly notable in Mikoto's case because of the divisive nature of mental health as a subject matter, but is definitely not the only occurrence of it in the series. However, Mikoto's case is definitely not perfect from a writing perspective and its important to be critiqued when necessary! Regardless of good intentions, trying to write a disability as complicated as DID will inevitably contain both steps forward and backwards. Although my opinion towards the handling of Mikoto's DID in this trial lean towards positive, It's completely justified to be uncomfortable with it and we should respect those who feel that way. But yeah, it's just slightly frustrating that I've seen people acting as if you need to decide between 'this is good rep, defend the series with your life' and 'this is bad rep, drop the series entirely'. Of course, learning to observe your own bias and look beyond restrained dichotomies of judgement has always been one of the series' main intent, so it's interesting in how it's shown itself again this time around. It'll be extremely interesting to see how both Mikoto and John are going to develop as characters going forward!

#im not a system so please feel free to correct me on any mistakes i may have made here!! #i really hope this doesnt sound too preachy im really just rambling here tldr uhhh listen to systems please #anyways its been so fascinating to see the discussion for this case and its great to see the level of respect people have shown so far #mikotos never been a favourite of mine but this trial's had me way more interested in him so they've gotta be doing something right #milgram #mikoto kayano

[lollytea]

Given that Hunter was introduced to anime in the Human Realm (canon), what do you think some of his favourites would be? Any he wouldn't like as much?

Astro Boy

Voltron Defender of the Universe (the 80s one. He eats it up. Its his cocomelon)

Mobile Suit Gundam Wing

Gus also enjoys Sci-fi type stuff so this is what they watch together <333

Sailor Moon/Cardcaptor Sakura/Whatever other cute wholesome power of friendship magical girl animes that you can think of. I just believe he loves Magical Girls. That is a headcanon that is attached to my brain like a leech.

Pokemon. He loves cute little creechurs, they're silly and they remind him of palismen <33

I imagine that he really enjoys sports anime. Especially the ones with intense homoerotic friendships. He loves Haikyu and Free, god bless. If you dare to open your mouth during Yuri on Ice, he will kill you.

As a guy who is a bit awkward, passionate about his interests, a little bit on the gnc side, and into making clothes, I think he'd like Princess Jellyfish.

I think when it comes to anime he WOULDN'T like, I think maybe....slice of life shojo high school stuff. Ones that are deeply rooted in experiences that Hunter cannot connect to. Not that he hates that stuff. He just struggles to relate. Also, as introspective, sensitive and emotionally mature as I imagine Hunter to be, I also think that his attention span cannot be held by a show that focuses on feelings/romance alone. Bro is like "I want SPACESHIPS!! I want SPORT!!! I want POKEMON!!!" There's gotta be some exciting angle to keep him entertained.

Something I'm a little unsure of is what Hunter's relationship is with gore/horror/edgy type stuff. Because we know he was a fan of Ruler's Reach, which was written by an edgelord 8 year old and was packed with gratuitous violence. Considering he was not only a teenage boy (who tend to gravitate towards depictions violence because of societal influence) but a child soldier who was unnervingly desensitized to brutality, it does make a lot of sense. Ruler's Reach also seemed to be something of a masculine power fantasy written by one boy who felt small and powerless in his own life, which connected with a boy who felt similarly. King wanted to be feared, Hunter wanted to be respected.

However, this was during the time that Hunter was trapped in a very bleak situation, one that he didn't even fully understand was bleak. And he coped by hyperfixating on a book that normalized the cruelty.

But what I wonder is, would he still feel the same way about that book now, after everything? He's been woken up to how horrific his life was until this point. He's aware of the atrocities and he's deeply uncomfortable with all of it. Things are drastically different now. Hunter is drastically different.

Personally, I think Ruler's Reach was something that comforted him when he needed it. But as he changes as a person, its just not his taste anymore.

Hunter can certainly stomach gore and violence. He's seen more disturbing sights than anything an anime can show him. But I don't think he actively seeks it out. I imagine that he prefers stuff that's lighthearted. Not that he doesn't enjoy tension/excitement/high stakes. Just not the kind of stuff that will make him extremely upset.

Like Fullmetal Alchemist for example. Absolutely amazing anime, but not something Hunter would enjoy sitting through. It's good to have fiction that makes you feel something deep in your core, the way FMA does to people. But Hunter has experienced enough real life trauma and existential horror for a lifetime. He's felt enough!!! He doesn't need to see that weird fucking dog!!!!! Leave him alone!!!!!

So ya in summary, I think he likes fun, semi-lighthearted stuff. But he doesn't really wanna watch anything that's gonna make him sit in the shower for over an hour and rethink everything. He is already mentally exhausted. He once learned made of a dead guy's bones, that's enough for him.

#i know we were just meant to talk about anime #lots of thoughts here on WHY hunter likes rulers reach #i just have a lot of them

[genderkoolaid]

To be fair to this mindset, when one of my high school classmates came out as non-binary and I asked about using its, I was unequivocally told not to do that and later learned that referring to androgynous people as it/its has a history of being used as a slur. I agree the post, but I'm concerned that there's two crossing arguments here that are especially likely to confuse people who are not connected to queer culture. I'm not sure if I phrased this correctly, I'm just somewhat uncomfortable with how the argument in that post reads to me as assuming knowledge and ill intent where I read lack of experience. (If I got that wrong, I apologize, I do have a history of missing social cues.)

Did not completely read the post, missed the "I use it/its" part. Still a little uncomfortable that the writer of that post says "like I used a slur" because the information I received about the use of it/its used an example of an officer harassing someone who was not cis (real example, not made up, wish I could find it) and was very clear that this is a slur, no two ways about it (wrong, but that was the message I was told.) Again, not sure I communicated clearly, just uncomfortable and not sure what to do about it. Sorry for clogging your inbox.

Its true that it/its can be used to degender and dehumanize trans people. But the key thing here is that people will hear/see a trans person state that they, themselves, use it/its (or hear someone else explain that they use it/its), and those people will take it upon themselves to argue with the trans person that their chosen pronouns are dehumanizing, and straight-up REFUSE to gender it correctly. People will tell people that using it/its is "dehumanizing yourself" and say that using it/its for someone who uses those pronouns makes them uncomfortable.

Like, they/them pronouns are also very often used to degender trans people. But if you see someone who presents as feminine who uses they/them pronouns, and then go "why are you degendering yourself? using they/them pronouns for you makes me uncomfortable, so I'm just gonna ignore your request because your pronouns are problematic," well... thats transphobic! And you should be able to use context clues (i.e the trans person in front of you Telling You What They Want) to figure out that those two situations are different.

It makes total sense to be suspicious or surprised when you hear someone being called "it," and there's nothing wrong with questioning that in case there's transphobic intent behind it. But the issue it/its users have is when people straight-up refuse to listen to us about our own identities, tell us we're "dehumanizing ourselves" and use their personal discomfort as an excuse to misgender us. There's a big difference between a transphobe dehumanizing a trans person, and a trans person ASKING to be called "it" and having people do everything possible to avoid gendering us how we want. Trans allyship means listening to trans people, and misgendering it/its users and acting like you are doing us a favor by misgendering us, is transphobic.

Not that you do that, anon, you seem very respectful, its just very frustrating to have people act like they are being better trans allies than you when literally misgendering you because you use Problematic Pronouns. As someone who gets dysphoric when people use exclusively they/them for me, and prefers it/its for that reason, having people decide for me what the "correct" pronouns are is extremely frustrating. It feels like they are more invested in following the Trans Rules than listening to the actual trans person vocalizing their needs. The anger in that post might seem confusing but people are genuinely rude as FUCK to it/its users even in trans spaces, and it's exhausting.

#m. #ask box

[isleofair]

Tiger & Bunny Week Day 2

Tiger & Bunny First Series Anniversary

(allowing for airtime shenanigans lol)

I can't quite put together a full review, but I want to list some moments in Season 1 that I found striking/intriguing/wonderful/thought-provoking when watching it for the very first time (around the end of December 2021):

1 - The princess carry

I said I started watching T&B at the end of 2021, but I had actually been distantly aware of its existence well before that, for a reason I find extremely amusing: I had seen Taibani BL doujinshi while browsing for doujinshi of other anime shows 😂. My vague impression, based solely on the name of the show and the cover art of said doujinshi, was that "Tiger and Bunny" were something like two detective partners... and that the original series was explicitly a yaoi one, because, come on, surely you wouldn't name your characters Tiger and Bunny otherwise, right?!?

I knew by the time I clicked play on Netflix that that last bit was wrong. The princess carry told me that I was not that far off, though, either. 😜

2 - The reveal that The King of Heroes is actually a massive dork

You kind of catch glimpses of it in the previous episodes, but I sort of dismissed them as "eh, it's his over-constructed Hero TV persona, this guy is the King of Heroes, after all, he must have all of his ducks in a row".

But in the very first episode we see him out of the suit, we find out that Keith is, if anything, even more of an overeager puppy when he's not on the clock as Sky High, and this made me fully realize what a rich world of characters I had landed in (and made Keith start to rise very fast in my personal preference ranking of all the heroes).

3 - Barnaby's fear (?) of fire

This one was, to me, a missed opportunity for what could have been an even deeper look into Barnaby's character.

Barnaby here says he "hates" fire (火が嫌いです). From his expression, and the flashback that follows, I think it would be fair to assume that fire makes him at the very least uncomfortable, if not downright afraid. And Barnaby has both and enemy and an ally who have fire as their power, as evidenced specifically in this episode, so I was expecting that to be addressed... but nothing specific ever came of it.

It's true that Barnaby in this first half of S1 is very cool and collected at all times, but finding out if and how his feelings about fire color his perception of and interactions with Nathan and Lunatic would have been extremely fascinating, IMHO. (Even just an explicit acknowledgment of the fact that he doesn't let it influence his relationship with those two characters in the least would have been interesting, and added to his characterization in some small way.)

4 - Episode 17 ("Blood Is Thicker Than Water.")

Definitely one of my very favorite episodes overall (which means a lot, considering it doesn't feature Nathan, or even Keith, for one single second, lol).

We learn so much about Kotetsu, his family, his history; at one of his lowest points, he manages to shine when it matters the most, where no one can see him, but the thing he cherishes most in the world, Kaede, is at stake. And the thing that struck me the most is that he saves her by completely subverting the way we've always seen him apply his power to being a hero: by being still and quiet and attentive, instead of strong, rash, loud. And then he doesn't even need his power to finish rescuing Kaede, to be her hero; just a good old jolt of parent-with-a-kid-in-danger adrenaline.

It's a really fantastic episode.

5 - The ending of episode 24, and the title of episode 25 ("Eternal Immortality.")

(And I don't just mean the whole "gosh, the fried rice thing was pretty gay, but the eyelash comment was REALLY gay, huh?" stuff, lol.)

See, when I watched this, I already knew that season 2 was coming up, so I should have logically assumed they would not kill off their main character here... But I was way too caught up in the story and way too distraught to remember any sort of logic, and I was staring at my screen like "surely they wouldn't... right? RIGHT?!? 😥"

And then I remembered that oh! The last episode is called "Eternal immortality"! It's the only one with a title that doesn't fit the proverb scheme! It must be very significant!

And so I was fully convinced, for the, oh, 10 minutes between here and the moment Kotetsu stands back up in the last episode and explains he had just simply passed out, that he had indeed died, or about as close to is as to not make a difference, and that his Hundred Power, after diminishing, would actually fade completely right there and then and turn into a different power, that would grant him infinite regeneration (see: him healing himself with Hundred Power in episode 13), and thus, essentially, eternal immortality.

Hey, it would have been pretty cool.

(the prompts!)

#tiger & bunny #tnbw

[ronanlvnchvevo]

Ok so I want to talk about this scene in particular, because I love it so much and feel like every time I watch it I learn some kind of new insight into Pete, and I think it foreshadows a lot of the future vegaspete moments (which--STAY WITH ME I know my brain rot is showing ok, I KNOW but it’s good I promise)

So the first thing I notice about this scene every time I watch it is how visibly uncomfortable Porsche is. Not only do we as the audience, who know Porsche’s motivations for wanting to witness this moment, and who get to see those fun flashbacks, know that he’s uncomfortable, but I think it’s clear to the other three in the room that Porsche is Not Having A Good Time. When Kinn’s determined that this is no longer a productive learning experience for Porsche, he calls out to Pete and signals for Pete to go with him outside. THIS IS EXTREMELY FASCINATING TO ME, because I think Kinn knows (HE KNOWS) that, in addition to basically being his bestie, Pete is probably the most empathic of all his men (he’s been tankhun’s babysitter without complaint for how long?), and that Porsche probably needs someone to talk him through whatever’s going on in his head. 

Up until this point, and in only three episodes I might add, we see multiple different occasions where Pete shows a deep emotional understanding of the people around him in ways no one else does. This comes in the form of him 1) not immediately ostracizing Porsche because he’s the bratty new guy, and instead taking him under his wing; this is significant because he’s THE ONLY ONE in the main house who doesn’t give Porsche any attitude, or treat him like he’s the gum stuck to the bottom of their shoe like everyone else does. 2) He’s the only bodyguard who is visibly uncomfortable when Tankhun is punishing Porsche with the mermaid costume AND is the only one who speaks up on Porsche’s behalf (T: Give him a treat! P:...that’s enough. He didn’t mean to). 3) Despite disagreeing with Thankhun’s punishment, he STILL feels obligated to educate Porsche on the trauma he endured as a reason for his “absurd” behavior. His interpretation of TK’s behaviors, and the rest of the family’s for that matter, also demonstrate just how perceptive he is. 4) OBVIOUSLY the scene in ep 2 where he stops Porsche from trying to beat Kinn’s ass after getting choked out. In this scene, it’s clear he’s taken the time to analyze the situation from Kinn’s perspective, or at least that he’s spent time thinking about how difficult things were/are for Kinn (“He used to love his people. The reason he became cruel was not totally on him”) and the fact that he doesn’t just blurt out Kinn’s secret in that moment speaks to his character, I think. I could go into even greater detail here, but I’ve already let this get out of hand, and its not even the main point I’m trying to make in this post.

SO PETE TAKES HIM OUTSIDE on Kinn’s order, right? This is where the ENTIRE conversation takes an incredible turn towards vegaspete foreshadowing for me. And Yes, it’s a conversation about Porsche and what he’s going through, but I think it’s important to acknowledge the double purpose its serving (which, bravo to the writers for that) and how at their cores Porsche and Vegas are going through very similar things. It’s also an important conversation because it reveals some truths that I think are important to remember when we think about how Pete could have fallen for Vegas despite him being his captor (and aside from him just being a really empathetic dude).

Porsche begins their impromptu therapy session with “He must really have no way out. That’s why he’s acting stupid.” Porsche is obviously saying this about the man they’re extorting, but then he relates it to his own experience with debt collectors “I know it very well, that having no way out can really make you do anything.” Immediately!!! I was thinking ‘you know who acts real stupid a lot, because he’s trapped in his family’s cycle of violence? Vegas.’ I digress. This scene is a turning point for Porsche in particular. He makes his first kill, yes, but that’s just meant to really bring home the realization he’s having that life isn’t as black and white as he’d always thought it was. Up until this point, Porsche has always seen himself the Victim of debt collectors, and he viewed them as an unnecessary evil (it’s not his fault his uncle gambles away all of their money!). It is at this point when he finds himself, the Victim, the Good Guy, with no choice but to become the Evil Debt Collector. Sometimes there is no choice. Sometimes the Good Guy must do a bad thing in order to survive. Things are more often stuck in a gray area than they are just good or just evil. “I never thought that I’d be like one of them today,” he says. This leaves him smack dab center in a moral gray area, and so clearly reeling from the realization. (he tries to save himself and stay The Good Guy when he tries to talk the guy down, but the guy shooting anyways forces him to instead acknowledge this truth once and for all.)

BACK TO VEGASPETE: Pete quietly lets Porsche say his piece in its entirety, and then gives a response that shows he’s understood this to be a universal truth for a long time. “We’re just teaching him a lesson,” is his first response. He doesn’t try to justify their actions, nor is he attempting in any way to reframe their situation in a way that makes them out to be either Good or Bad guys. If he did, he’d be playing into a narrative he doesn’t believe, and as we know, “theres no legacy as rich as honesty.” Instead, he goes on to give the one of the most iconic lines of the series: “There’s no heroes nor villains in this world.” Heroes being the paragon of all things good, and villains symbolizing all things evil. This certainly has broader implications for the series as a whole, but for vegaspete, it goes to show that Pete never looked at Vegas and saw villain. It’s more likely he saw him for what he was at his core: a broken man lashing out at a world that refused to love him despite his best efforts. He saw all of Vegas’ actions, not as isolated evil incidents, but as reactions to things around him and the way the people who were supposed to love him treated him. It’s also why it’s believable that he believed in Vegas’ capability to do good and love when he saw the way he treated the hedgehog. Animals often love unconditionally. Animals also cannot judge you or your motivations the way humans can. Pete saw Vegas loving the only living thing that ever loved him back, and he knew Vegas was simply the product of his environment and circumstances.

#I tried not to go on like 4 other tangents throughout this but it was hard #i hope this makes sense lmao #i have so many feelings #vegaspete #vegas theerapanyakul #pete saengtham #kinnporsche #kinnporche the series #porsche kittisawasd #kinn theerapanyakul #kp the series #kinnporsche meta #vegaspete meta #the lesson learned here is: i shouldnt be allowed to do rewatches #the final paragraph is my pride and joy

[hiswordsarekisses]

To truly love another person there is a forgetfulness of self.

To unselfishly love someone is to want what is best for them regardless of what that means for yourself.

This includes telling truths that may hurt the relationship.

When you call yourself lying to someone because you think you are protecting them - you are really actually only protecting YOURSELF!!! Because you just don’t want to have to see that you are responsible for making them uncomfortable or causing them pain - or may even make them cry. You are protecting YOU.

That’s loving you.

Not them.

If you consider all the way down to the root of an any situation or option you will find either self-love, or self-less love.

Self-love is not love because it puts self first. It is extremely selfish at the very root.

People say you can’t love others unless you love yourself, and that is a lie from hell to keep us from loving truly and genuinely.

Jesus knew that we already love ourselves - because when you love yourself you feed yourself, you bathe yourself, you buy things you need, etc., elsewhere in scripture it says

“for NO ONE has EVER hated his own body, but nourishes it… (etc) (and that’s just a fact - scripture does not lie - and the enemy has been feeding us that lie for as long as there have been humans.)

Consider this - maybe I hate myself so much I want to do not want to live anymore. This - at its very root - is selfish. Its true.

By removing yourself you think YOU will escape whatever it is that is making you feel that life is unbearable, but then you don’t think about the pain you will cause others that you leave behind. You transfer your discomfort for theirs. I know this scenario does not fit everyone but it’s basically the difference between loving ourselves or loving others.

See our problem is not that we do not love ourselves - it’s that we love ourselves too much. And we love ourselves most. And if we are truthful with ourselves before God we will see how this truly is.

THIS is why Jesus said to love others AS we love ourselves.

If you look out for others, making sure they have what they need, that they know what they need to know, etc., the same way you look out for your own well-being and safety, ~ everything changes.

Everything.

Some people have never even heard of such love, or seen it in action. Jesus has loved us this way and this is the love we are called to.

That’s why First Corinthians chapter 13 so confidently describes what love is… and there are no exceptions. This IS the definition of LOVE.

Real love is absolutely not about ourselves.

If we say “oh I just love the way they make me feel,” or “I love what they do for me,” or “I love the way they talk to me…”

These things are not bad, but it is NOT LOVE.

You’re really just getting a need met from this person that you are addicted to.

This is why there is so much divorce and “serial dating” - because when the new feeling wears off or they are no longer meeting that need YOU have - you move on to the next person. I did this most of my life until Jesus moved into my heart in such a big way that HE met that need. And He continues to meet that need - so I have never again searched for it in a human.

This “feeling” we get when that need is being met by a human is not love - “this is being addicted to a biochemical reaction that feels really good.” (Sebastian Enges)

Everyone is at a different stage of learning to love others. Sometimes, some things take a lifetime. But prayer is the best place to start. We should always pray for the love of God to be perfected in us, pray to love others as we love ourselves, and pray to have the natural inclination from the heart to put others interests above our own.

This is FRUIT that proves the Holy Spirit lives in us.

God alone provides to power to love in this way, it is miracle love. We can’t just fake it.

And ALSO - in this perfect love, we should naturally want to protect others from the horrors of life and/or death without God.

We cannot hold their hand and then, not wanting to hurt their feelings, walk them into the pit of hell and say we loved that person.

No, we tell the truth “even when our voice shakes” and no matter what that means for the future of our relationship with them, because temporarily losing them to possibly have them for eternity is worth all of it.

Sebastian Enges told this scenario in such a perfect way:

“Let’s say you have a relationship with somebody that you feel deeply in love with, you absolutely love them, and they have an opportunity to move across the world and do something, but that means they might no longer be in a relationship with you. And they are like your whole world right? They are deeply connected to you. If you love them more than YOUR NEED to “get” from them whatever it is they give to you by being in your life - as hard as it is, you are more likely to tell them to go. Without any games, without any emotional manipulation, you can factually look at the things on the table, and go “this is the right opportunity for you right now and I think you should take it.” Knowing full well it means that your relationship with them is going to change - in my opinion - that is love.”

[thegeminisage]

THE VOYAGE HOME breakdown

i liveblogged this on the notes app on my phone bc i could not be bothered w tumblr while i watched it. 10/10 movie i love spock's little bandana

first scene was really rough bc they made us watch the enterpise blow up again. i did NOT like reliving that. she's a beautiful woman and i loved her

kirk being in trouble was so funny. like hes been in trouble in tos before but not THAT kind of trouble

did gasp aloud when they said vulcan exile. kirk spock and bones were on VULCAN EXILE for THREE MONTHS and you're telling me they didn't fuck. impossible. i have so much fanfiction to read

gasped when i saw spock far away on that cliff too. i went from watching the movie to doing whatever it is i do when i see spock on my screen. i was so instantly invested like 100x more than i had been previously. cathy made fun of me for calling it the spock movie but lo: there was spock

thrilled to see his mom again even though she fucking sucks. i thought she had died or something since she wasn't in search for spock lol he doesn't need that!!

me when they mentioned yorktown: omg another aos reference

i knew this movie was about whales but not in what capacity. so when the probe showed up we went back and forth for a really long time on whether this was The Whale. we were very impressed with its little laser

uhura remains the most beautiful woman to ever live. she gets hotter in every film idk how she does that

i liked when kirk gave bones a direct order to like "stay here" or whatever and he said with his mouth "no way" and followed him out anyway. fucking hilarious there's no use trying to hide behind rank anymore captain. their relationships have evolved so wonderfully <3

the time travel cgi was wack. idk what they were doing but it made me uncomfortable

"we can get back but only with NUCLEAR POWER" it's just like back to the future fr

spock's bandana.

i knew he wore it in this film because i have seen fanart and a couple of gifs but it was even better to see it in person as it were

spock was great in this film. unclear how much of his personal memories he had back, i would like to assume most of them? but back at factory settings nonetheless. i liked getting to watch jim and bones teach him to be "human" all over again, even down to jim asking to be CALLED jim, instead of by his title. i have a feeling we're gonna get a lot of that with data in tng and knowing i will love data is all that makes it possible for me to part from spock. spock failing at swearing, being bad at lying, being bad at loving italian - bones said he wasn't firing on all thrusters and he was right, but he's still competent enough to get them back to their own year. i also really liked him knocking out the dude with the radio lol. AND THEN EVERYONE CLAPPED which would have been ridiculous for anyone but spock.

whaling videos sad. i do love that this movie was pro-whale propaganda...i feel like we got a lot of that in the late 80s/early 90s, so maybe whales really WERE gonna go extinct and we saved them thru the power of cheesy movies. one likes to dream

kirk is losing his touch as a honeypot. he so throughly failed to seduce this biologist it's embarrassing. she only cares about whales, dude.

scotty hunting and pecking on the keyboard at the speed of light is me fr. i never learned to touch type and now i have a role model. i mean you can't expect HIM to touch type he's missing a fucking finger

giving the molecule to those guys early is ALSO an aos reference. this is where spock got the idea in the 2009 movie i bet :(

chekov being russian when he got caught is both more hilarious and more distressing, like. considering.

"he is a man of deep feelings" on vulcan this counts as a slur

extremely skeptical of them taking the whale biologist until she pointed out that if whales were extinct there would be no whale biologists in the future and so they needed her. fair point, movie

i feel like movies just never have real water anymore. is that just me? 90s movies had water all the time and these days you never see any real water. shit's expensive. they just cgi it.

THEIR SWIM PARTY CELEBRATIONNNN it was so good. jim dunking people in the water but also william shatner would have drowned in leonard nimoy wasn't holding him up lol that shit looked choppy as hell

i recognized their outfits at the trial all together like that from the photo in aos...made me sad

GIVING JIM THE CAPTAINCY BACK...god FINALLY. the sheer hell he goes through as a retired man...let him work...

i wasn't gonna cry during this movie but when spock said i feel fine i did in fact: cry. HE FEELS FINE.

AND FINALLY. ENTERPRISE BEING BACK. perfect touch to a perfect movie

tonight we start tng (we're going in release order) and i am sooo nervous to leave them but at least we have two more tos movies left so it'll be a gradual transition...ik im gonna like tng but i don't think i'll ever love any star trek character more than i love spock. hes everything to me!!!

#personal #star trek blogging #tvh lb #HIS LITTLE BANDANA #so far my fav movie is still search for spock #wrath of khan and voyage home tie in a very close second tho. i go back and forth on which one wins second place

[void-galaxy-shenanigans]

This is the second time our temp therapist cancelled on us.

For reference, the therapist we've been seeing was an intern who just graduated. December they did grad stuff & then had to reapply & do onboarding again. That means we had to see another intern in the meantime. We'll just use initials for privacy so let's call normal therapist K and temp therapist C.

C (she/her) is amazing at helping with depression, when she shows up. She has a lot of training on how depression is actually a trauma disorder and blew our mind when she changed our perspective on why depression does what it does. It's something one of our littles brought up in less sophisticated words. That's something for another post.

K (¿they/she? we're pretty sure & gonna ask when we get the chance) is amazing at helping us process trauma, and is extremely knowledgeable about ADHD and autism. They've been amazing at helping us realize when our disabilities are disabling us. They've also been very open to learning about D.I.D. to help us with it.

C was arranged to check in every week since mid December while K is unable to. The first check in was a phone call— totally fine, & they called us out 10mins in (“you laugh when you're uncomfortable or stressed. it's laugh or cry, ¿right?”). So we arranged an in person appointment (because the house we're in isn't safe so we prefer in person) & went to that one & it went well.

But the past 2 weeks C has called out sick, and we had to call and reschedule, but they're only available Wednesday & Thursday so we keep having to reschedule for Wed.

The problem with that is, we really really need therapy. Depression is at its worst in a while, and C-PTSD is back with a vengeance, and we're having relationship communication needs that we wanna run past a therapist, and...we just really need the fuckin appointments.

To be clear, I'm not angry at C for being sick. I'm upset because our therapy office *has other therapists*. They could assign someone else so we can get the help, and instead they called at 8am like ‘C is out of the office, call her office to reschedule’.

I decided to instead ask if K is back in the office & available. They were supposed to be available by early January. The front desk said they didn't know & sent me to the scheduling department, who didn't pick up. I left message to call me back.

Worst case scenario I have an appointment today to get medication (for ADHD & depression, hopefully) so I'll be physically in the office by 11am & can ask them then if K is back. But also. What the heck. :/

I was actually more worried it was the meds appointment being cancelled, which I had to schedule 2.5 months out. Therapy can be scheduled for the next week. But with the worry of not getting meds gone I'm still frustrated at the office for not being more considerate or helpful when I asked for other options.

I didn't get therapy just because; I really badly need it & not having an appointment every week is making me lose my mind. I have so much to unpack. It's not even that my routine is disrupted anymore. I just need someone professional to talk to before I explode, which was the point I got to before they assigned C (because 2 weeks without therapy does this to us; I'm overflowing and super not okay).

This is mostly just to get the swirling thoughts out of my system. I need to put it somewhere.

~Nico (he/they)

#vent #personal #~nico #trauma #therapy

[inquisitor13]

If you don’t mind this type of request? How would Valdemar and the other courtiers react to their s/o having s/h scars?

Oh, I like this request.

Quaestor Valdemar

They have seen a lot of scars in their existence, starting with insignificant and small size and ending with large, conspicuous ones, so they react to MC scars quite calmly. But this does not mean that the Questor ignores it.

Without any hesitation, Valdemar casually approach the MC and ask: "Do you mind if we go to my dungeon after work?". If they see fear on the MC's face, they will immediately warn that they will not do anything, but only look at something and ask a few questions. At the same time, during the conversation, they will constantly cast interested glances at these scars.

MC does not need much time to guess what is the matter. Valdemar does not hide that it's about these scars. They would not like to hear a refusal, so they gently convince that today a visit to their basement is an extremely important procedure.

When the MC is already sitting on one of the couches in the dungeon, the Questor is asked a lot of questions:

"Where did you get the scar of this shape? And when did you get this one? What did you cut yourself with when this trace was formed?"

"What do you feel when I touch here? And here? Does it hurt?"

"How long have you had these scars? How many years have passed since then?"

"Have you taken part in battles or fights?"

Of course, touching the scars is mandatory. Waldemar will not miss the chance to touch each of them out of pure scientific interest. It may seem that their activities are extremely monotonous, but if you ask the Questor about it, they will answer quite simply: "Oh, MC, there is really nothing monotonous in medicine and the study of human bodies, you need to have a professional look to understand this thing."

Their hands are cold, and their touch is delicate, weightless and very careful. Even through the gloves, the cold of these hands is felt.

Sometimes Valdemar violates the personal space of the MC, but they apologize and continue to do so. MC can't blame them, because the Questor doesn't do it on purpose.

The inspection ends with them thanking the MC for understanding and trust, writing down the results of the inspection in a notebook.

Everyone is surprised when MC comes out of the dungeon alive and unharmed.

Consul Valerius

When communicating with MC, he tries his best not to focus on the scars due to upbringing, but sometimes MC can notice how Valerius' gaze slides over them.

And this gaze looks condemning with a mixture of disgust or contempt.

MC is uncomfortable being around Valerius after this situation, because now he often looks that way, which is why communication with him seems strained.

The consul will never admit to his true intentions. He will play with the MC until the last in looking at very ambiguous content, but one day there comes a moment when the MC himself turns to him with a question. This happens in solitude.

Valerius is amazed by MC's assumptions that it is unpleasant or disgusting for him to look at these scars and will even apologize (!!!) for making think that. In fact, he has never seen such a number of marks on the skin before and he is interested to know how MC learned to live with it and where they came from.

Perhaps after that it will become easier to communicate. Valerius will often examine these marks and note that he admires MC's self-confidence even with scars, because for many they are considered a defect in appearance. But he doesn't think so.

Valerius perceives these scars as a feature of appearance, nothing more. Despite the fact that he has never met people like MC, Consul quickly gets used to it and even knows how to draw MC's attention to the fact that this has its advantages.

"What are the advantages here?"

Valerius will find something to answer this question: "For example, the fact that they make you different from others. See how many people hide even the tiniest traces on their skin because they are afraid of someone else's opinion. Unlike you, it's fine."

He does not allow anyone to insult the MC and condemn the appearance.

Pontifex Vulgora

When their gaze falls on at least a single MC scar, they light up with hot curiosity. For Vulgora, this is like a signal for a long and lively conversation.

"MC, WHAT DO I SEE?! Yes, that's right, it's YOUR SCAR! Immediately tell me the WHOLE story of the appearance of this! Let me guess: is this a bloody battle, after which this sign remains, reminding you of your fearlessness?! Or is it a reminder of a fight in an inn where you punched some upstart in the face?! "

In the end, the MC is involved in this heated discussion, forcing them to show even more scars. And each of them causes a violent reaction from the Pontifex. They literally FILL up with questions. And at the sight of each scar, the most epic guesses are born in a second.

The more scars MC shows them – the more emotions. Vulgora is burning with interest, their eyes are shining, because in their opinion every trace on the skin is a story. A unique story.

Of course, it will not do without the fact that Vulgora will show MC their scars in response, and there are much more of them. Their body resembles a kind of battlefield. The pontifex demonstrate this with pride and loudly tell the story of the appearance of each trace.

It's amazing how they were able to remember the history of the appearance of each scar at all? Apparently, this is really a very important thing for Vulgora.

"Look! See that long scar on my wrist?! Oh, this is my favorite story! I got it when I hunted a huge beast in the forest ALONE AND WITHOUT WEAPONS with MY BARE HANDS!"

Despite the fact that MC has significantly fewer grandiose stories and adventures, unlike Vulgora, they are happy to hear each of them anyway

Procurator Volta

"MC, this trace looks like a star! And this one is for a cupcake!"

She makes a lot of cute comparisons with your scars, runs her fingertips over them and wonders aloud what else they might look like.

Volta does not see anything repulsive in these scars. Seriously, she even likes this feature of the MC's appearance. She is not interested in where it came from and how, she just likes that it is.

For her, looking at MC scars is another way to have fun. Volta can, at the most unexpected moment, take the MC's hand in his own and begin to examine it carefully. You just have to get used to it.

She doesn't understand why MC hides these scars under a lot of clothes. After all, this is such an interesting and amazing thing! If the MC has complexes about this, Volta will be surprised: why does the beautiful MC have dissatisfaction with himself? It shouldn't be like this.

Often MC hears sweet words of support and admiration from Volta.

She even came up with a relaxing procedure for MC: Volta sometimes brings brushes and paints with her, then begins to outline these scars in different colors, giving them a colored silhouette. She really enjoys it.

Praetor Vlastomil

As a connoisseur of non-standard types of appearance, he likes to look at the MC. Just watch the skin stretch and the scars along with it. Therefore, the Praetor often asks permission just to look at the MC's hands or neck.

He looks like a fucking fetishist, but he's just enjoying the view. For Vlastomil, this is also aesthetically attractive, as are his worms.

"Look, MC, Wiggler likes it too!" – with these words, he handed MC his most beloved worm.

Doesn't understand why stupid people mostly don't like these marks on the skin. They are so aesthetic! Vlastomil is ready to argue with those who will say that he is wrong. Of course, also in order to protect the MC.

"How can you not like it? After all, it's much more interesting than just a smooth surface! Worms have almost the same thing: their skin is not perfectly smooth, there are also different ring-like depressions on it, and this makes them even more attractive! "

Okay, his methods of admiring MC are a little non-standard, but it's Vlastomil.

#the arcana #the arcane game #nix hyrda #the arcana courtiers #quaestor valdemar #pontifex vulgora #the arcana vulgora #valdemar #praetor vlastomil headcanons #praetor vlastomil #valerius headcanons #consul valerius #vulgora #valdemar headcanons #valerius the arcana #the arcana game valerius #the arcana headcanons #the arcana courtiers headcanons #procurator volta #volta #volta the arcana

[gay-robot]

okay so very rambling thoughts on undertale yellow and about clover specifically under the readmore, spoilers for all the routes

so theres a few main points about clover that color my perception of them

they repeatedly take/eat things that either arent food or are very dubious food, even by monster standards- martlet at one point comments on them grabbing food at a weird time

at one point the narration mentions that the sight of a cramped room gives them uncomfortable memories

flowey mentions that in all of the resets before the game where he watched clover, without his intervention they ALWAYS stay with toriel, every time.

so like. clover clearly hasnt had a good home life prior to the game.

and i feel like this feeds into this concept of, like. Justice™️ yk. they come down intentionally to find the other fallen children which is already like, painful amounts of self-negation/self-harm, but like this framing of it combined with what they do in a pacifist route gives me this impression that they desperately need to feel like theyre helping yk, and to me it feels like this idea has been distilled into them by their upbringing- a kid that self sacrifices to the degree of climbing mt ebott in the hopes of finding missing children, or to the degree of giving up their life in some endings, obviously does not have a healthy amount of self-worth. no matter which extreme they go for its still framed in this idea of doing something that is Just™️ in their view- BUT they're easily convinced that something is the correct choice, whether thats giving up their own life to benefit monsterkind after seeing whats happened to them as injustice, or whether its going on a rampage to "right the wrong" of the children disappearing and the fact that this initial motivation of theirs to find the children is so quickly defused by being shown genuine love and care from toriel. its only when, in previous timelines, flowey manipulates them into keeping their distance from her that they even leave the ruins and continue this idea of revenge, and even then as we see in the pacifist route they cant help but latch onto people who show them kindness. like the fact that theyre so easily defused puts them on the same level as the rest of the monsters who dont really even WANT to fight you, their only motivation being this generational trauma

like they are fundamentally a child. they have immense power in the form of the yellow justice soul but theyre a KID and so theyre easily pointed in new directions/outlets for that sense of "justice". you could even argue that them staying with toriel is learning to accept that justice is being done to them. and whats especially interesting about this is how their yellow soul powers manifest- like, for instance, the point on the no mercy route where they GAIN LV WITHOUT KILLING, something we've previously never seen. they realize that theyre face to face with someone who was immediately responsible for the death of a fallen child, and THAT causes them to immediately shoot up something like seven levels- because theyre powered by this idea of justice, or at this point closer to blind revenge. they dont have determination, they can only access the power of a human soul when its through this lens of righting a perceived wrong or getting revenge. on a pacifist route they ONLY enter the yellow soul shoot-em-up mode when their friends are blasted with an attack right next to them.