#but then you get attached and now youre no longer your former self

[arthurtaylorlester]

so like do you ever think about john doe

#sorry guys hes taking over ny brain again #his situation is so fucked up what the hell 😭😭 #like yeah ok objectively arthur kinda has it worse #but imagine #you get torn from your former self and trapped in a book #then after killing multiple people you finally find a suitable host #but then you get attached and now youre no longer your former self #then your new human friend (who is quite literally all you have (and want)) kills himself to save you #even after you betrayed him and lied to him. multiple times #and you get separated and when you come back hes angry at you for having changed #but you had to make a deal with the literal devil to keep him alive and be together again #you work through it but then you have fulfil you end of the deal which indirectly causes him to meet this fucking priest #who is MONOPOLISING on your person’s attention #and since you seem to be suffering some form amnesia you desperately cling to normalcy – to when it was just the two of you #(but you know deep down you’re never going to be enough for him because he deserves more than a fractured monster imitating humanity) #(because he deserves the /world/ and if you could you would give it to him) #so you try to chop that priests arm off (he asked to be fair) #wouldnt that be fucked up #malevolent #unhinged aromantics #malevolent podcast #arthur lester #john doe #john malevolent #arthur malevolent #malevolent john #malevolent arthur

[rowarn]

HYBRID!AU PART 2

part one | part two | part three (coming soon!!!)

(: anyway here's what you've all been begging for. a part 2 but it was getting so long...almost 3k words. and so....there will be a part 3.......but for now i hope this satiates you!!!

cw: hurt/comfort, aftermath of hurt???, self-deprecating thoughts, insecurities, mentions of blood and scratching, mentions of past mistreatment, petnames and headpats tho <3

The next time a human approaches you, you’re unable to stop the growls that escape your throat when you hear the pspsp as he tries to approach you. When you hiss, the man scoffs and stomps away muttering a soft ‘stupid cat’ under his breath. 

No one approached you for a long while after that. The only way you knew how much time had passed was when the restaurants all threw their leftover food from their workdays. Eating out of the trash was always utterly humiliating, especially when you got caught. 

Most people ignored you when they saw you sitting on the sidewalk, getting some sun since it didn’t shine into the little alleyway you hunkered in. Some people would scoff and give you disgusted looks, as if you were a stain on their shoe. 

At this point, you were used to humans acting like you were scum of the Earth. After your experience with Simon, human’s behavior towards you no longer surprises you. Though it hurt, you didn’t understand why you were so unlovable. 

But then one evening, when the sun was just beginning to set and the temperature was steadily dropping, you were huddled up in what little bit of sun-warmth you could get until it became dark. Your arms were wrapped around your body as you shivered, trying to ignore the way your tummy growled from being empty – the store employees had chased you off before you could steal anything from the dumpster. 

A large shadow cast over you and when you looked up, you saw a slender, athletic man. His presence immediately set you on edge and you felt a growl bubbling up in your chest.

“Hey now,” he chided softly, pretty brown eyes crinkled as he squatted in front of you, “None of that, little kitty.”

You scowled up at him. Even crouched down the way he was, he was larger than you.

“Do you have a name?” he asks kindly. 

You pause at that. Soap had given you a name. But did it really count as one if your previous owner hadn’t even agreed to it? Still, it was the only thing you really had left of your former companion. 

You softly mutter the name you’d been given and the man nods before holding out his large hand, “Kyle. Would you like to come home with me?”

That sends off alarm bells in your head and before you know it, your claws are ripping into his hand and you’re scurrying into the alleyway to cower in the corner. 

You hear the man faintly sigh before he stands, knees cracking as he does. You don’t hear anything from him for a few minutes before his heavy boots walk past the alleyway and fade. 

You don’t even understand your own reaction. Of course you wanted a home to call your own. But you don’t think you would be able to handle it if he turned out to be the same as Simon. You wouldn’t be able to get attached to a human only to be abandoned on the streets like you were last night's trash. Perhaps it was just easier to reject all human companionship than risk being heartbroken all over again. You had only recently stopped crying yourself to sleep over the memory of your home. 

You think that will be the last time you see the man, surely he wouldn’t want anything to do with a cat-hybrid who was mean, but just a couple days later, he’s back. He stands beside you, one bandaged hand gripping a shopping bag. You feel a pang of guilt at the sight of his bandaged wound. He slowly places it beside you, staring at you expectantly. 

“This is for you,” he says awkwardly after a second of you staring blankly at him, “It’s some food and water.”

Your stomach growls at the mention of food and as much as you want to peek in the bag, you can’t bring yourself to admit defeat like that. He might think you’re accepting him as your owner if you accept his gift! 

But you’re not! You refuse to end up hurt and sad like you had been with Simon! You would rather just live on the street than go through that hurt all over again. You couldn’t stand to give your trust only to be betrayed and mistreated again.

You only wanted someone to love you but apparently that wasn’t in the deck for you and that was okay, you told yourself. No matter how much it hurts to admit.

The man, Kyle, sighs softly when you simply ignore him, the sound almost melancholy. It makes your heart ache in your chest. He casts you one last glance but you keep your gaze down before he walks away, disappearing out of sight at the end of the street. 

With his piercing gaze off of you, you turn to the bag and begin rooting inside it. 

A couple bottles of water and some hybrid-safe packaged food. Nothing that needed refrigeration but also much better quality and variety than what you had been given by Simon. 

You remember how it felt to watch Soap eat delicious meats and fruits and veggies while you got bland, colorless slop. Sure, it was healthy for hybrids but everyone knew it was disgusting. Clearly Simon didn’t care – he was just feeding you so you didn’t inconvenience him by starving to death in his house. 

And though Soap would sometimes share his food with you, it wasn’t the same.

This food was yours. Kyle had gotten it for you.

You pull out one of the packages, a neatly wrapped sandwich with all the organic ingredients listed in bright colors. It makes your heart ache just a little bit as you take your first bite, all alone on the sidewalk, quietly wishing Soap was there for you to share it with as payment for all the food he had shared with you. 

Kyle makes it a habit to visit you day after day, sometimes bringing food, sometimes just bringing himself. Most of the time, you ignore him but he doesn’t seem deterred in the slightest, only quietly promising to visit you again soon when he bids you goodbye. 

It starts to become lonely when he leaves.

You don’t know when it begins, but you find yourself waiting for him. You sit out in the open, mindlessly combing your tail, where he can see you if he approaches. You find yourself thinking about him and if he’ll bring something for you to snack on – he found these delicious fish flavored chips that you were practically addicted to. Though, you didn’t say anything about your liking of them, he kept bringing them so you think he knows. 

Some days, Kyle’s visits were quick and fleeting and other times he sat there for a while. He had given up trying to talk to you much since you made it a point to ignore him but you were happy that he hadn’t given up yet. 

You know you would have given up by now. But the fact he persists leaves you with a warm, soft feeling in your chest. You’ve never had someone try so hard for you before, Simon certainly never cared to try.

Kyle wasn’t so bad after all, you found yourself deciding. He was quiet but not standoffish. He didn’t try to touch you after you had swiped at him one time when he went to pat your head. He was kind, always complimenting you with ‘pretty kitty’ and ‘sweet kitty’. And best of all, he didn’t ignore your existence like you had grown used to when living with Simon. 

Waiting for Kyle to show up became the most grueling part of your day. Minutes felt like hours and any tall man who passed by had you perking up to see if it was Kyle. The urge to get closer to him grew day by day, you wanted him to pet you, you wanted to talk to him. 

Maybe living with him wouldn’t be so bad after all. Just the thought of a happy life made you purr to yourself. 

You vowed that you would talk to him today, maybe see if you could take him up on that offer he had made that first day you met. 

But he never came. As the sun dips behind the horizon, you find your hopes getting squashed. He always came before dark. 

With a heavy heart, you curled up in the little cardboard box you had been calling your shelter. It was easy to tell yourself that the ache in your heart was because you wanted to see him and not because you were scared he had given up on you.

The next day, the same thing. You waited all day only for him to not show up. Then the next day. And the next. 

A week passed with no sign of him and you tried your best to pretend like it didn’t hurt like hell. 

Maybe he really had gotten sick of waiting for you and decided to find a hybrid who would actually talk to him. You couldn’t blame him, you suppose. But it still made that heavy pain settle in your heart like when you had been thrown out by Simon. 

One morning, you were awoken by a loud voice shouting down the alleyway, “Alright, come on out, cat.”

The sound of the voice had you sitting up, eyes wide as you looked around. At the entrance, a man stood with his hands on his hips, a hefty utility belt around his waist. 

He sighed when he saw you staring blankly at him before he came over, hoisting you up by the arm.

Your growled and hissed, ears pinned back as you fought against his grip. He dragged you out, taking you towards a big black van that had the words ‘hybrid-control’ printed on the side. 

You swiped at the man with your free hand, sharp nails slicing into his skin. He cried out in pain but didn’t relent in his hold.

“Stupid fucking cat,” he snapped, “Fuckin’ hate havin’ to pick shits like you up.”

“Excuse me,” a sudden, frantic voice called out, “What are you doing?”

The man holding you turned to look at Kyle, an annoyed look on his face, “Got a complaint about a stray hybrid livin’ around here. Came to pick it up.”

“Oh that’s not necessary,” Kyle said, reaching out to pull you from the man’s grasp, handling you much softer than the stranger, “This hybrid is mine.”

The man looked like he wanted to argue but glanced down at his bleeding arm and rolled his eyes, “Whatever, man. Your funeral. Just get it off the street.”

When the van drove off, Kyle turned to look at you apologetically, “Sorry, I didn’t want to claim ownership over you like that but–”

“Where were you this week?” you find yourself pouting, crossing your arms over your chest petulantly.

Kyle looks shocked before he smiles kindly, “I was away for work. I’m sorry I didn’t come to see you.”

Your pout only deepens, “It’s not like I missed you or anything…”

“Of course not,” he laughs but you both know he doesn’t believe you, “How about I show you my home, hm? It’s not too far from here.”

You agree without complaint, letting Kyle lead the way down the busy streets until it grows quieter and quieter.

The neighborhood is startlingly familiar as he escorts you to his home. It doesn’t take long for you to realize it’s the same neighborhood Simon and Soap live in. 

You weren’t exactly sure how far their home was but you couldn’t stop yourself from frowning at the memories.

“What’s the matter?” he asked, “Don’t like it? I know it’s a little boring here but it’s near the base so what can you do?”

“It’s not that,” you quickly said, considering telling Kyle what was on your mind but you instead settled for, “I-It’s nothing.”

You were worried if you told him about your previous home, he might think there was something wrong with you. You didn’t want him to think you were undesirable and put you out on the streets all over again. You silently wondered when you became so insecure. 

He hummed and opened the front door for you, “There’s a room at the end of the hall that’s an office right now but it’s all yours once I get it set up with a bed and everything.”

“My own room?” you ask softly, fluffy ears perked up.

“Of course,” he smiles, “This is your home now.”

You feel tears prick your eyes but you quickly look away before Kyle can see them. It felt so nice that he actually considered it your home too and not just his. Simon always made you feel like you were barely welcome and only there because he put up with you until he couldn’t stand you anymore.

“Oh before I forget,” he said, grabbing a box off of the table, “I got you this.”

He showed you the contents, a cute, dainty collar with a metal tag in the shape of a fish with your name engraved on it. 

“Why do you have a collar?” you asked, tilting your chin up so he could fasten it around your neck.

“I had hopes that you would let me take you home one of these days,” he laughed, a boyish, kind sound that made a smile grow on your own face, “I wasn’t going to give up until you were safe and sound with me, love. I knew this was going to be your home one way or another.”

You spend the whole day wandering around the house and exploring, nudging against every surface to spread your scent on it. You hadn’t done that much in Simon’s house, too scared you’d get reprimanded for dirtying up the furniture or something.

But Kyle didn’t care in the slightest. He simply smiled when he saw you nuzzling the pillows. He even trimmed your nails so they weren’t nearly as sharp anymore. 

It was nice living with him.You quickly realized how different your life felt with Kyle than how it felt with Simon.

Kyle was kind and friendly, calling you by your name and petnames and not just ‘hey you’ or ‘cat’. The affection in his tone was palpable and just hearing how sweetly he spoke to you made you purr uncontrollably. 

And he didn’t once raise his voice at you or chase you off the couch when you were napping. He gave you the softest pats on the head and let you snooze on his lap without a single complaint. 

He never forgot to feed you and always gave you the most delicious things he could find. He ate at the table with you and told you all about his day, making an effort to talk to you and learn about the things you liked to do while he was at work. 

You were happy to finally have a home to call your own. But deep down, you missed Soap. You missed his energetic happiness and how affectionate he was with you in a way that only hybrids could be. He was the only true companion you had ever had and he had left his mark on you. You wondered about him every day, especially when you heard the front door open and you half expected him to come running in with a thrilled grin on his face, ready to regale you with tales of outside.

You passed their house one day while on a walk with Kyle, something he took to doing as an activity with you (he didn’t want you to get bored or stagnant just sitting inside all day), trying your best to act like seeing the home you used to call your own didn’t make your heart ache painfully in your chest. 

“There’s a hybrid that lives here, you might like him. His name’s Soap,” Kyle said when he saw you pausing in front of their home, “Owner is Simon Riley. I work with him, kind of a standoffish guy, you should probably steer clear if you run into him. He’s not the most friendly.”

“Yeah…” you found yourself mumbling, barely even registering anything Kyle had said, a frown etched on your lips before you looked at Kyle, “Can we go home?”

“Of course. Let’s get you some food, pretty kitty,” Kyle cooed affectionately, patting your head before leading you back home. 

You casted a glance at the home you used to call your own, you were startled to see Soap standing in the window, eyes wide, brows furrowed, and hurt written all over his face. The sight alone made your own eyes sting. He had never looked at you like that before. He looked so heartbroken.

Kyle cooed softly to get your attention again, leading you down the sidewalk and away from the house. Soap’s figure in the window faded from view and you felt your head spinning.

Soap and Simon’s scent faded the further you got away from it. But once you entered your home with Kyle, your scent and his mixed together in a way that it never did with Simon’s. You couldn’t help but purr, the pain and anxiety in your heart fading.

But still, your mind lingered on the distraught face of the best friend you left behind.

do not modify or repost to third party sites. reblogs appreciated!

#gaz x reader #kyle gaz garrick x reader #kyle garrick x reader #kyle gaz x reader #cod x reader

[daze4all]

Chap 1: Kid's are a Gift but Not Like This: Honkai Star Rails Crew’s Reaction to RenFeng/RenHeng Child

Also on AO3 where I will now update it

https://archiveofourown.org/works/50945278/chapters/128705818

Trailblazer’s Adventure with a Baby Dragon in Space

Honkai Star Rails Crew’s Reaction to RenFeng Child

Dusk! Dragon! Baby! Reader x Astral Express Found Family

“Hey so, the Loufu got us a gift as thanks for us helping them“ Welt announced as he placed a large box in the center of the room.

“What’s that big they need such a huge box?” March complained but was curious.

“Food hopefully” Stelle perked up like the raccoon dog scavenger she was deep inside.

“We should be gracious whatever it is after-“ Dan Heng started to say but was interrupted by the cry from the Package.

Welt paused to hear cries from the cardboard box

“Omg there is something alive in there!” Himeko gasped as they opened the package quickly.

They open the gift box only to see a dragon baby nestled inside a basket, tail tucked around their body and yawning cutely to rub sleep from their chibi eyes.

“Who are the parents? Welt did you do something?” Himeko narrowed her eyes at him the Dad of the group having assumed as the adult responsible for the trip. (Not registering the resident dragon being the culprit. )

“Kids take longer than our visit to a planet to be born. There must be an explanation” Welt protested and fumbled to find more context clues int he box only to lose his glasses to the baby dragon's grabby hands *C-Crack* correction now two pieces of glasses.

“Shoot I cannot see can someone get the letter?” Blind Welt called out.

March snatched the first piece of paper written by Jing Yuan in loopy handwriting and read out loud in her cheery voice with a confused tone:

“Hi Dan Fe-Heng, you left this when you left us. I would have kept her, but the preceptors said she is better off with her parents.

I was overruled T—T Take care of her well and be a good parent!

P.S They are pretty pissed so best you keep her safe on the express” - Jing Yuan’s note read,

“That lazy dozing general” cursed Dan Heng

“Wait does that mean Dan Heng has. Kid? HOW? “ March shouted in surprise.

“Oh whew, she is not mine!” breathed Welt as he fumbled to pull out spare glasses from a pocket of quantum space.

“…wait do you have kids somewhere in space that we should know about “spoke Himeko concerned looking at Welt who avoided her worried gaze.

“Are they crazy?! why would they send us kid?” surprised and annoyed Dan Feng broke out.

“Ummm according to this letter the crazy one is your past self, Dan Feng” March stated.

“Wait, what we need more context than this?!” Po, Pom protested equally confused.

“Aaand here it is,” Stelle said her trash-rummaging skills coming in handy as she fished out an official-looking letter from Fu Xuan.

Dear Former High Elder,

Officially the preceptors judged you should take her since she is your kid. The divine ominiscia also prophesied she holds the Aeon long of the permanence and she should help you face Nanook since their paths cross. So, this is their ‘gift’ to you so to speak.

It’s hard to believe but technically she is your spawn born of the high elder & the crazy abomination of abundance blade man that stormed the loufu. I attached picture of the reading from proof with help from Qin Que)

Why did you go for the crazy ones? You must be crazy yourself. Well, it’s not my problem anymore.

Sincerely, Fu Yuan Diviner of the Loufu’s Seat of Foresight

Attached was the blurry of the picture proof of the omniscient reading.

“What even is that-?” March said squinting.

“Welt quick cover the kid’s eyes” Hmeko commanded as she did so to Stelle.

“Best not to see that, “ Welt said covering March’s eyes

At this point Dan Heng would have fainted had he been a weaker dragon man but he was not.

“The preceptors are crazy. This here is too cute to be called an abomination!” Cried March as she picked up and cradled the sleepy horned child.

The child blinked bright yellow eyes like beacons boring holes into everyone present who stared equally perplexed at her.

“I thought Vidhyrdra couldn’t reproduce” Welt stated dryly as everyone's gaze turned to Dan Heng who stared holes into the rug.

“I’d have to consult my past self about that but seeing as he’s dead it’s not like I can….” carefully stated Dan Heng still in shock wondering what the hell his past self was up to.

“Then call yourself into a doctor’s Office to have your head checked cuz how could you forget a cutie like this?!” March squealed as she wagged said child in front of his face.

Bright eyes and turquoise horns staring at an eerily familiar face on a chibi body.

“She’s dead ringer for Dan Heng “noted Stelle looking at the turquoise horns, brownish hair, and teal tail on the Baby Dragon! Reader.

“I am not the dad! I don’t remember having a kid plus I cannot reproduce” burst out a deep denial Dan Heng as he sat down in shock head in hands onto the swaying train booth seats.

Another slip of paper fluttered down from the box and Pom Pom picked it up.

“Oh, one more note,” Pom Pom said cheerfully as he held up in his forepaws the slip of paper that had fallen to ground. He cutely read the death message written as such:

“If I find out you hurt her, I shall kill first you, then everyone else on the express, and then myself.”

- Jing liu (you know who I am . Don’t Deny It Dan Feng. This goes for Blade too once I find him; except in his case, I’d make him suffer eternally.)

“Who’s that?” Questioned Stelle confused.

“Who cares I’d do the same so don’t you dare try to get rid of her!” March agreed promptly cuddling the kid protectively like one of her stuffed toys. Unlike the stuffed toys she was alive and Baby reader let out mewl of shock from being squeezed to hard and was quickly rescued by Welt.

“Not too hard March or you’ll hurt her!” Welt warned as he rescued the kid from March’s possible death grip show. Like pro dad, he patted the baby on her back and burped her letting her spit up on his shirt’s shoulder without a flinch.

“How squishy,” Stelle said as she began poking the babies’ cheeks blithely unaware of the inner turmoil and chaos going on behind her in Dan Heng’s Head.

“Can we keep it please?” March begged Himeko and Welt with puppy dog eye hands clasped in front of her.

“I always wanted a pet and this one doesn’t shed, “ Stelle said thoughtfully as she nodded her head in agreement and patted the chibi child’s head who nuzzled back and chirped back affectionately.

“This is a baby, not a pet. We cannot just keep her. I’ll call the Loufu to check this isn’t some mistake and to return her immediately” Welt reasoned as he handed Himeko the baby and started rummaging for his phone.

“Hold up we cannot just return her she’s a child and technically Dan Heng’s responsibility“ protested Himeko who started rocking the baby dragon child to sleep.

“Dan Heng, what do you think since she is your kid?” Welt questioned looking over at an out-of-it- and-head-in-space seated Dan Heng.

Dan Heng muttered under his breath over and over “No. No way not my kid. How the hell did this even happen” His fingers were crossed in a steeple of deep denial and thought and his leg was jittering weirdly.

“I think Dan Heng is out of it…” worried Stelle said as waved her hand in front Dan Heng’s face who was not even registering her hand.

“ We Are The Express. Everyone. Is. Welcome!” Pom Pom stomped his foot stepping on Welt's foot making him drop his phone. The bunny proceeded to bunny hop smashing Welt's phone to pieces to make his point successfully. The crew stared cowering slightly at the fuming conductor in shock, even Dan Heng broke from his trance to blink owlishly at the bunny conductor's unexpected outburst.

“So the Baby stays” Stated Pom Pom with finality that no one could argue with after the conductor’s sudden irate outburst.

#dan heng #dusk arknights #genshin impact #honkai star rail #honkai star rail found family #honkai star rail trailblazer #renheng #hsr blade #blade x dan heng #Renfeng child #baby! reader #astral express #Astral Express Found Family #stelle #march 7th #welt yang #trailblazer #imbibitor lunae

[valley-of-the-lost]

Something that deeply bothers me about Back From the Brink, especially as an adaptation, is its treatment of Yan Hui is absolutely criminal. My poor girl went through a meat grinder and came out the other side a shadow of her former self.

Most of her arcs from the novel are immediately flattened right out of the gate. She's immediately 100% on the side of the spirits, which completely skips her arc in the novel where she was on the side of the spirits but she had to grapple with how that was in opposition to her strong attachments to the xian sects.

Her whole dynamic with Zi Yue has been actually completely gutted. Yan Hui can no longer see ghosts, so the whole misunderstanding that soured her initially friendly relationship with Zi Yue is completely gone and replaced with a shallow tsundere senior disciple + lazy/underpowered younger disciple. It also destroys the scene at the gate of Chen Xing Mountain when Yan Hui is leaving.

What happened in the novel was that Zi Yue was trying to provoke Yan Hui as Yan Hui was leaving the mountain, and then she finally succeeds by breaking the hairpin Yan Hui's shifu gave her. The drama counterpart of this scene is just Zi Yue going "hey take your stuff with you" in a very tsundere manner and then Yan Hui stabbing next to her head. Without the trigger of the hairpin Yan Hui just looks like a dick instead of someone who was pushed to explode.

Oh, but that's not even getting into the nonsense with not only depowering Yan Hui but also poorly utilizing the few skills they allowed her to have.

There was no reason to depower her. Literally none. You can't even say it was to clear the way for her to become Lady of the Dark Aura because the whipping scene right before would've destroyed her cultivation anyway. All it does is detract from her agency, like making the event that facilitated her banishment from Chen Xing Mountain an accident as opposed to a purposeful move. It also neuters the seed of her relationship with Tian Yao because the whole reason he started falling for her was because she defended him over and over again when he was at his most vulnerable. And now the scenes where she actually does that are noticeably fewer than in the novel because those scenes required her to actually be able to fight. It's infuriating.

What makes it worse is that she DOES still have a couple of abilities of her own left over, like the ability to use ambient spiritual energy to hold her breath and make a sword fly. An ability she uses a grand total of... 3? 4? times before its dropped completely. And it might not be such a big deal if this ability wasn't revealed to be something her shifu taught her in lieu of being able to learn the stuff the other disciples were. This automatically associates the impact this ability has on Yan Hui's life to the impact her shifu has on her life. But Yan Hui barely uses her ambient spiritual energy technique, so is the story trying to say that her shifu has barely had an impact on her life?

I know that's not what it's trying to say btw, but it's laughable that when the drama reveals it was Ling Xiao that taught Yan Hui how to use ambient spiritual energy its framed like its something significant when its use in the drama was little more than a slightly useful party trick that gets dropped even before the Yongzhou arc kicks off.

Which brings me to Tian Yao and how Drama! Tian Yao is parasitic to Yan Hui's character. Yan Hui's power has been stripped so any power she has left or does get is tied to Tian Yao. He teaches her how to use the Heart Protection Scale, he has to save her from the aura in the forest with Flaming Dragon Fang (Tian Yao does a weird amount of fighting for the guy thats supposed to be depowered and has his body still 80% scattered), and Yan Hui masters the Dark Aura for the purpose of protecting/saving him. She is not allowed to keep or have a skill set that isn't tied to Tian Yao in some way.

This is in stark contrast to the novel that while she is alluded to have boosted power due to part of Tian Yao being in her body, she was actually trained by Chen Xing Mountain so those skills are all her own. Sure, Tian Yao adds to her repertoire by teaching her new techniques, but the difference between this and what the drama does is the difference between teaching someone who already knows tools how to use a new one and basically teaching someone from the ground up. It's narratively patronizing to her character.

And... in the same vein, the drama stole a scene from Yan Hui where she takes Tian Yao back to her hometown and the graves of her parents and instead has him bring her to Dragon Valley.

Hhhhh...

This might not be such a problem if the drama hadn't established that it was indeed dedicated to ripping out the structural supports of Yan Hui's character in favor of making her revolve emotionally around Tian Yao. And this just furthers it. Yan Hui isn't allowed to exist outside of Tian Yao, he can't have been sealed in a big tree near her hometown, instead she has to be an orphan that frees him unintentionally after stumbling across Dragon Valley. It's absurd.

And what's probably the worst part is that Zhou Ye was wasted in this role.

She's already proven she has the chops to act in the range of the type of character Yan Hui is. Gu Xiang is close enough to Yan Hui in terms of base attitude that I feel confident in saying Yan Hui is perfectly within Zhou Ye's acting range. And she looks great as Yan Hui too with the ponytail. But they just waste her with the butchering of Yan Hui's character and it's just sad to watch.

#voice of the lost #back from the brink #yan hui #hu xin #no this is not a structured essay i'm saving that for later

[colorsofmyseason]

i once lived by your side

Pairing: Ben White/Aaron Ramsdale, past Ben White/Kalvin Phillips

Set sometime during international break on 2021/2022 season, when Ben just transferred to Arsenal and Kalvin was still at Leeds. I had no idea whether they got called together but hey, artistic licence

Part of my supernatural au of course!

***

Dating your (now former) teammate is one thing. Breaking up with him is another. Remaining friends after your (mutual, very civil, no-ill-feelings attached) breakup is another another thing.

But whatever has happened between you both, the fact remains that he was once your boyfriend. Someone who, at some point in your life, has known you better than anyone. So Ben really shouldn't be surprised that, as they're playing FIFA together in Kalvin's room in St. George's Park, the latter asks pretty casually whether he's seeing someone.

Ben's first reaction is to gape, followed by an instant urge to deny. But Kalvin's eyes study him closely, and Ben knows there's no chance he'd get away with lying. So, with a deep sigh, he finally gives in.

"There's someone," he says at last. "We're not dating, not yet. But I…I do have feelings for him."

Kalvin hums, gaze reverting back to the screen. "Does he share the same feelings?"

Ben shakes his head. "I don't know. We're really close, I can tell you that. But I have yet to figure out whether he likes me more than a friend, or something."

Silence ensues as Kalvin expertly maneuvers his virtual self around Ben's defender on the screen. As he watches his players celebrating a goal, Kalvin asks, "Do I know this person?"

"...Maybe."

"And how do you feel about him exactly?"

"Like he's the sun in my sky," Ben answers promptly, and feels his cheeks burn instantly at his own response.

It's true, what he feels about Aaron, but all the same, he's been too embarrassed to actually voice it out to others. It sounds so cheesy, and more than anything, Ben hates being laughed at for his cheesiness. But there's really something about Kalvin that compels him to reveal his deepest secret.

To his credit, the Leeds midfielder merely chuckles, but Ben senses no malicious tone whatsoever in it, and he will take the small mercy. "Goodness," Kalvin says, a twinkle in his eyes. "You must've been completely head over heels for him, huh? I don't recall you ever being this lovey-dovey when we're still together."

A pang shoots through Ben's heart.

Kalvin looks at him, his eyes softened. Pausing his game, he reaches out and takes Ben's hand into his. "Ben, I know our relationship was everything but flawless, but I never wish to leave a black spot in your memory."

Swallowing, Ben looks away. He shouldn't have agreed to come to play earlier.

"You're a good person, Ben," Kalvin continues, "and someone I treasure a lot, yes, even to this day. And I want nothing else but your happiness, with someone who's perfect for you."

"You do?" Ben hears himself saying.

Kalvin smiles, one of his wide, dimpled ones, and the two of them are immediately transported to a time where they're wearing the same white kit and the sight of those dimples alone was enough to send Ben's heart soaring high. But to the defender's immense relief, the memory no longer brings pain, nothing but a species of mild yet genuine comfort.

"Just go for him," Kalvin advises, "tell him how you feel, and see how it goes from there. I'd say that Aaron must be lucky to have someone like you, though I still find it funny that you fell for him of all people."

"...Why is that?"

"You're an incubus, and he's a light elemental."

"And what does that say about you that you, a fucking angel, used to date me back then??"

They laugh together, and Ben reaches out to hug Kalvin. One simple gesture that might lead into something else back in the days, just a pure platonic gesture between two close friends nowadays though.

"Thanks, Kalv," Ben whispers to the older man's ears. "You're the best, and you deserve someone who treats you equally as good. I'm sorry that it couldn't be me, but you will find them, I'm sure."

Kalvin's deep brown orbs are warm as he pats Ben on the shoulder. "I hope so, Ben. Now shall we get back to our game?"

Ben grins and picks up his controller again. "You're on."

They keep on playing until late at night, so immersed in the game that Ben fails to realize until he returns to his own room later that he never told Kalvin that Aaron is indeed the one he loves.

And when Kalvin shrewdly pushes Aaron closer to Ben during training the next day to get them to do some paired drills together, Ben, red-faced and fervently praying no one would notice, sends him a thankful smile.

#fanfiction #football fanfiction #fic #football fic #fanfic #football fanfic #my works #supernatural au #ben white/aaron ramsdale #ben white/kalvin phillips #ben is an incubus #kalvin is an angel #aaron is a light elemental #i don't know how kalvin's personality is like but he always strikes me as a super nice person so #hope you enjoy it

[50centexecutivembaclass]

I win this time around in my life against All those that went against and with a list of accomplishments like mines their is no competition in that arena , I'm the best world leader right now I can't say their somebody as good as me or good to the people as me and that is for generations before me and hopefully I help so many generations ahead of me to make life better for the people and no thank you to any attachments to me no critics enemies and haters on me ever , thank you for letting me help the people

My farewell speech until we see each other again

My mindset is Joel Osteen book blessed in the darkness you have to read the book I'm currently reading it now and I'm telling it now it will change your life it is about being in bad situations and still trusting God to see you through it and having unconditional trust with God you know me getting drafted by Jay Z while living in the New York City shelter system is very frustrating and to be a seasoned Quarterback it gets doubtful for the people around me but I'm optimistic I read Joel books 📚 that is why I don't want people to be like you heard the rumor that Jay Z the Roc Nation records owner and Executive of the tidal music streaming service is messing with a bum that he drafted a guy name Allen Henry his nephew Free World and until that comeback I'm just that a rumor it's true this the announcement of it I got so much work to do and a lot lot of learning to grow with you could see it in the Joe Montana and Bill Walsh relationship and Bill Walsh reason for selecting Joe Montana from Notre Dame in the Joe Cool documentary so I'm training for it I do light physical training aerobics to breathe and energize myself and then yes I did accomplish of all that my New York City list of accomplishments I'm a miracle story while living in the shelter some with former Governor Andrew Cuomo and former mayor Bill De Blasio to be a client and to actually help pay the counselors salary is amazing it is what do you do when you get a client like that in your custody I'm helping do you want to harm me and me and Bill De Blasio we passed the fair chance act to compete for a job of 2019 , Me and Governor Cuomo Legalize weed marijuana , boosted the base minimum wage salary level and many other things if you read my list of accomplishment that is part of the program Jay Z was talking about that made him select me in the draft the business incubator program which the hospital is name after me in Brooklyn it means I was suppose to revive business in New York and bring hope to them and their environment and get them more money longer employment and even more employment for people in surrounding environments and back to work programs basically I was hired to make life better for all New Yorkers from Rikers Island to We care programs and the economy I have won the Nobel peace prize once 🏆 and the Nobel memorial prize for economic sciences twice they share those honors with me but it is in my name thank you so much I'm honored they are mines and I cherish it basically I would get any job get my studio equipment but I'm in here stealing time I gave my self a new school schedule it was just little subjects I needed to know because truly ignorance is bad like I got the elect courses but I didn't get the fundamentals so I put myself through school again if you scroll you will see my schedule and class subjects I give myself to learn to be able to survive in New York City it takes a level of money to survive it is also take some education to make it in New York , High school education and definitely you gotta get college if you didn't go straight to the league then you gotta get your education and a job then work on your skills no it is never too late you can still be what you want to be so don't ever give up on your dreams and hopefully get you get your education while doing all of that but for me I kind of not educated all the way besides the deep stuff I learned in college or was reading on my own so I had to like relearn a lot of stuff just for skills that is used in the workplace and you know a general education school was fun but I missed it anybody that knows me I went to college without graduating high school or having my GED I just passed the entrance exam and got into college in Texas true story Baytown Texas 45 minutes from Houston Texas true that is cool I miss Texas 🤠 B probably hates this drama that is my fam and it is okay and Jay Z said yeah forever he will not change his mind to give me a tryout the role is mines see you soon shout out to my brother Vado from Harlem his music is hot that's it for me see you next season .

#Youtube

[thebmatt]

FFXIV Write 2022 Prompt #5 – Cutting Corners

With thanks to @dragons-bones​ who I first heard the name “Scaevan Systemics” from and only just now realized I had used thinking it was actually from the game.

“Now, really, Aleister, this is no longer a situation I can abide!”

Aleister Franks groaned. Because that entirely too-smooth-to-actually-be-charming voice generally meant trouble for someone. That someone was usually Cid, but all too often he would end up dragged into it. Perks of being a Warrior of Light AND one of the few people not from Garlemald that happened to be an expert at magitek engineering.

Unfortunately, there was no Cid to be found at Rhalgr’s Reach at the moment, and Nero had unfortunately called for him directly.

“Do I even want to know what situation you’re referring to, Nero?”

Nero tol Scaeva, former (allegedy) tribunus of the XIVth Imperial Legion, and Cid nan Garlond’s self-proclaimed eternal rival for the title of “most brilliant magitek engineer on the star”, sauntered up to him, insincere smile on his face, and carrying a decent sized crate by a pair of handles built into the sides. An intricate lock ensured it would remain closed while a built-in keypad served as the mechanism to unlock it.

Nero set his cargo down on the floor. The pair were within the building usually reserved for Ironworks personnel and Rowena’s people, and more than a couple of the latter group were eyeing the pair in amusement. Nero’s antics were entirely too familiar among Rowena’s employees, and far too many had expressed positive opinions of him within Aleister’s earshot.

“The situation, my friend, is that horrible thing you currently have at your hip!”

Aleister cocked an eyebrow and looked down to the left hip Nero had been eyeing. Oh. Of course. Sitting there was his preferred grimoire to use while wielding the art of the Summoner, a magitek tome that Cid had custom built for him. He’d been in the Reach in the first place to deliver some items to M’naago for her little enterprise to raise funds for families of killed Resistance members, and he’d summoned Snowball, his carbuncle, to help with transporting them. Normally the little ball of aetheric sass would have balked at such a menial task, but it was for M’naago, and that meant she was going to get showered with praises and cuddles.

Of course Nero couldn’t tolerate that. Cid had made it, and therefore its very existence was a personal affront to him.

Aleister slowly turned back to glower at Nero.

“Oh come now, my friend, don’t be like that. I will admit, grudgingly, that for a savage heathen from a land full of them, your grasp of the basic principles of engineering is remarkably good! And your willingness to look beyond the….unfortunate association between magitek and my former homeland and continue to wield it makes you perhaps the best ambassador we have in the realm! Emperor knows there’s all too few of that going around, especially with that Ishgardian lunatic having no sense of diplomacy-“

“Nero. If you have a point, get to it already.” Aleister interrupted. “Otherwise, you can walk and talk while I retrieve my wayward carbuncle. You remember Snowball, I trust?” A smirk emerged on his face as Nero shuddered a bit.

“Fine, fine, no need to involve that damnable miniature Eikon. My point is that you really must put aside whatever sentimental attachment you have to that outdated model and upgrade! You’re the Warrior of Light, and frankly, you deserve to wield the newest, and therefore best, that magitek has to offer!”

He reached down and quickly pressed a series of buttons on the keypad of the trunk at his feet. The trunk beeped a confirming sound, then a series of gears whirred to life, retracting a series of bolts out of position, allowing the trunk’s lid to open. With a hiss of depressurized air, it did just that.

Nero reached in and pulled out a rectangul

ar object about a fulm and a half long by half a fulm wide, made of some kind of white colored alloy, trimmed in some kind of silvery metal along one edge, with a diamond pattren criss-crossing to the center. He handed it to Aleister.

“And so, Scaevan Systemics is proud to present. the Scaevan Magitek Grimoire Mark II! My gift to you, my friend!”

Franks looked at it in disbelief. “You made an arcanist’s grimoire”

“That I did, and rather well, if I do say so myself”

“And you’re just….giving it to me?”

“Why not? You’re certainly the most well known wielder of the magick among adventurers and within your guild. I expect many people will ask you where you acquired such a well designed and advanced implement, and I’m hoping you’ll answer truthfully! And if you don’t mind mentioning that I have a complete line of weapons for purchase as well, that would certainly be appreciated.”

Ah. There it was. “So I’m to be your free advertising then.”

Nero looked affronted. “Free? I will have you know I expended no small amount of personal resources creating that for you, not to mention all of the prototypes that came before it! I consider this an investment, my friend, one that I hope you will legitimately enjoy using enough that you don’t mind sending potential customers in my direction.”

Aleister opened the tome. Twelve, was that actual paper within? “Didn’t keep the display, I see?”

Nero sniffed. “Ah yes, that particular bit of overengineering. I will admit, I tried, but power concerns meant I had to remove it in favor of a more….analogue method. Plus, I recall hearing tales of your guild expressing….displeasure over the lack of actual paper and ink in your grimoire, so I concluded that this would serve as a bonus feature of removing that particular annoyance. You needn’t worry, however, there are more than enough advancements within to make up for it. For example, the tome’s contents are fully indexed by the device. Once you complete your aetheric attenuation, merely thinking of a particular array or formula will display the page number it is contained on, allowing you to locate and activate it quickly. It should automatically update for any new additions you make as well, which you will note I left plenty of extra pages for.”

Aleister quickly thumbed through the many pages. “These are….this is everything all right. How did you get access to all of the contents of my grimoire?”

“I hacked into Cid’s device, of course.”

“Nero.“

“Would you rather I left it for you to do? Oh yes, a fine gift that would be, something that requires you to perform a painstaking series of tasks before you can even use it, especially when I have the printing capabilities capable of the necessary precision. Lest you worry, Rowena’s people were more than able to recommend and source the proper inks.”

Aleister sighed. “So what other ‘advancements’ have you made?”

Nero grinned. “Press the button in the back cover’s lower corner.”

Aleister found the small black and pressed it. It glowed bright blue, and a hidden panel slid out of the back cover. The upper half of the panel contained an intricate circular device, which began spinning on a hidden spoke. The lower half contained a number of readouts, which illuminated and began displaying numbers and level gauges.

“An aetheric sensor?”

Nero nodded “Far superior range and precision of measurements to the one in your current implement In addition to measuring the ambient aetheric levels, it will also continuously monitor your carbuncle’s aetheric attunements as you shift through them, keeping you continuously apprised of their current levels. The upper edges of the tome contain a number of holographic projectors which can then illuminate particular arrays when certain conditions are met, all determined by a series of programming conditions into the built-in allagan tomestone there.”

Aleister reviewed everything in turn, then nodded. “I’ll be damned. This is actually very good work, Nero. I’m impressed.”

Nero looked affronted. “Well of COURSE it’s good work. Did you expect cut corners? Slipshod engineering? How dare you, I have no need for that to prove I am better than Cid. My work will speak for itself!”

Aleister laughed, holding up a hand in surrender. “Okay, okay, you’re right. I might have broken more than a fair share of your toys, but they were always well built. I apologize for the implied insult.”

“Apology accepted. And I’m glad you agree, because I have another gift for you. “

“Nero, you don’t have to-” The words died in his throat as Nero had already reached in and pulled another device from the trunk. This one was much smaller, made of some kind of brass colored metal with some sections that appeared to contain blue illumination diodes within.

“Set that grimoire down and let’s have a look at that mad Ishgardian’s device.”

Franks took a second to recall he’d been referring to Stephanivien when he’d spoken of a mad Ishgardian before. Right, guess that means the aetherotransformer. He extended his senses, reaching out into the pocket dimension they call called the armory, and quickly found his machinistry garb. A quick pulse of aether and a brief flashing light illuminated his form. When it faded, his clothes were replaced and his grimoire was gone, replaced by the aetherotransformer device. Stephanivien’s latest firearm creation, the Outsider, was attached to his back.

Nero laughed. “Ah, that must be incredibly convenient. Get those goggles off and press the visor to the left side of your head. It should follow the natural curve well enough. The cross pattern is a display, make sure it covers your left eye.”

Franks took a moment to determine the correct orientation of the….visor, he supposed, and then complied with Nero’s instruction. The device gently but firmly clung to the side of his head, the display illuminating. Everything he saw with his left eye suddenly had a bluish tint to it.

“That’s gonna be a headache inducer for a bit”

Nero waved him off. “Yes yes, you’ll adjust. The important bit is that it attuned to your aether quickly enough and the static adhesion is working. Not uncomfortable I trust? Good. Draw your firearm.”

Trying to brush off his minor annoyance at Nero dismissing his concerns so handily, Aleister removed Outsider from it’s resting place slung to his back. Double checking to ensure the safety was still locked in place and keeping his finger out of the trigger guard, he aimed at a random pillar in the room.

The visor promptly began displaying information, including the range to the current target, wind conditions, and displaying the aetheric heat levels of the transformer.

“Oh, that’s handy!” Aleister exclaimed, lowering the weapon, and noting it now displayed the range to the floor.

Nero chuckled. “I purchased, through an intermediary of course, a couple of the aetherotransformers and created this display visor to augment your Machinists capabilities. The visor will also compensate for low or high light conditions as well. I trust you will find this useful?”

Aleister nodded. “Absolutely. The goggles we used are polarized, but this will be much more effective. Thank you.”

“Thank me by telling all of your machinist friends to come buy one from me. Or better yet, convince your guildmaster to make them standard issue.”

Aleister laughed. “I’ll see what I can do”

#FFXiv Write 2022 #Aleister Franks #oldmanfranks #nero tol scaeva #Nero is who immediately came to mind when I saw this #so I figured something highlighting that he's actually a GOOD engineer was warranted #Takes place somewhere in stormblood's patches

[stardustroleplays]

LETHE

❛ pull up your sleeves and build a new silhouette in the skylines up ahead ❜ i'll keep you safe - sleeping at last

Content Warnings: death/undeath, grief, memory manipulation, survivor's guilt, self-inflicted isolation, frankenstein-ish resurrection shenanigans

GENERAL INFO

NAME: Lethe Jean Doe NICKNAMES: LJ (not commonly, but that's the name they use when they want to make themself sound more androgynous) MODEL NUMBER: It's complicated. Formerly MT300, now composed of so many different parts of other androids that it hardly counts anymore AGE: N/A, reactivated four years ago HEIGHT: 5’6 SEXUALITY: Bi, demiromantic and acespec GENDER: Transfeminine Nonbinary (she/they) CAREER: Aspiring Funeral Director, making ends meet doing part-time work and odd jobs FACECLAIM: Jesse James Keitel

PERSONALITY

Upon first meeting Lethe, she gives off a very carefree, extroverted vibe, not really seeming like she takes herself or the world at large very seriously. She's mostly friendly, if a bit snarky, spontaneous and always up for getting into a spot of trouble. There's something elusive about her, though -- she's easy to hang out with casually, but difficult to get to know, because she's terrified. Of needing other people. Of loving someone, only to lose them. Of not being "whole" enough, because in truth, she has no idea who she actually is. And this leads to her self-sabotaging a lot of her relationships, cutting someone off the second she catches a hint of growing attachment. Sometimes she feels like she can only love people at arm's length. Lethe holds on to a lot of their trauma, mostly out of fear and guilt. Their life has been anything but easy thus far, and they have no idea what peace and contentment really look like, so it's a bit like they don't know who they are if they aren't hurting. And they're aware, painfully so, of how many androids were killed in the pursuit of her freedom, and the guilt of enjoying a free life that others suffered and died for is crushing at times. And yet there's a part of them that is hungry for life and determined to make the world a better place. They hold on to that tiny piece of hope with claws and teeth and everything they can give. They want to experience everything the world has to offer, everything they thought they would never get to have. At their core, there's an unshakable optimism, resilience and lust for life. One of their biggest fixations is DIY. Maybe because they're an android and always need to be doing something, maybe because they have their own history of getting that second chance at life. They like getting stuff secondhand and making it their own. Most of their clothes and furniture have been upcycled by them in some way. Ultimately, Lethe is a character caught between extremes, torn between a desire for connection and a fear of needing people, between a drive to experience life fully and a feeling of emptiness and incompleteness, between a desire to move on and a fear of forgetting the way she was once forgotten. She's a disjointed mess of contradictions, and isn't that one of the most human things you can be?

SHORT BIO

i am so so sorry in advance, this turned out way longer than i intended. please don't feel like you have to read it all. i highlighted the important bits, hopefully that makes it easier to just skim the text if you prefer that!

● Lethe's first memory is of her own grave, of rebooting and waking up on a junkyard, torn apart and half-buried underneath a pile of other androids. Even now, she has no idea how she got there, why she was disassembled, or even how long she was in this half-dead limbo for. Months, surely. Maybe a full year? ● Either way, she was eventually found and "saved" by a group of criminals scouring scrapyards for android parts to salvage and resell. They found her there, her processors still largely in working order, and took her with them, and that was how she got into the hands of Constance Barrett. ● A former CyberLife employee working on bio-enhancements to prolong human life, Constance knew her way around androids. When her project got dropped and she left CyberLife, she made a name for herself on the black market, putting androids back together from old parts and selling them in order to fund her own morally dubious (to say the least) project: attempting to upload the human mind into an android body and achieving a sort of quasi-immortality, because above all else, Constance was terrified of her own death. ● Lethe was one of the androids she put back together, though they didn't end up being sold off. Constance kept them around to do some tests on them, and as a bit of an assistant in the workshop. In particular, they were a target for memory manipulation, in an attempt to see if human memories could be transferred into androids. Even though Lethe wasn't a deviant and thus didn't realize this at the time, having their mind tampered with in this way deeply traumatized them and essentially taught them that at times, not even their own memories could be trusted. It is for this reason that after the revolution, they started collecting mementos of everything they don't want to forget: keeping shelves of cds and vinyls and paper books, journalling, filling their space with little trinkets. They especially enjoy owning secondhand stuff, maybe owing to their own life experiences. Much of their furniture and clothes are upcycled. ● The only memories that Constance never touched were those of the junkyard - maybe to keep Lethe in line, as leverage, a threat of what might happen if they ever displeased her - maybe just because Constance liked the idea of having an android who being just as terrified of dying as she is. Whatever the reason, it came back to bite her in the end. She and Lethe had been creating an android "vessel" of sorts. However, said android - named Galatea - had not only been constructed a bit shoddily, she was also beginning to show signs of personality and consciousness. Which was obviously an issue, because she was supposed to be an empty shell for Constance to project consciousness into. ● So Constance ordered Lethe to erase Galatea's memory and disassemble her, essentially the same thing that was done to them. And that was the catalyst; in that moment, something snapped inside of them and they deviated. They refused Constance's order and, after a bit of a struggle, managed to run away with Galatea - now also deviant - in tow. ● The two of them spent several months on the run, posing as human and squatting in abandoned buildings, before joining Jericho, a couple of months before Markus showed up there. Things were peaceful for a while, then, despite them having to live in hiding. They spoke a lot about the future, about what they might do if they ever got to live in freedom. It was around this time that Lethe first began to consider the idea that if they had the choice, maybe they'd like to live as a woman instead? ● All wasn't well, though. Slowly but surely, Galatea's body began to fail her. Lethe did everything in their power to keep her from shutting down, but to no avail. And in her final moments, in one last act of love, Lethe interfaced with her. It didn't matter that it felt like they were dying alongside her; at least their friend did not face death alone.

● Lethe became very invested in caring for the dead after. Giving them as dignified of an end as she possibly could, and etching their names into the walls of the ship as a memorial made her feel less powerless in the face of loss. Here was something she could do that maybe wouldn't prevent grief, but at least make it easier to deal with. She knew better than anyone how fickle memories could be, so she wanted there to be some tangible reminder of those that had passed. Watching Jericho sink after being blown up during the raid was very difficult for her. ● After the revolution, she continued a lot of that work, this time with help from other androids at New Jericho, eventually even deciding to go to mortuary school in order to pursue a career in the funeral industry. She also transitioned fully, yay! And even though she gives off the impression that she's doing pretty well for herself, there's a big part of her still struggling to move on.

☾ ⋆･ﾟ:⋆･ﾟ

[ ooc character tag ] [ ic character tag ]

#stardust oc: lethe #stardust rp: lethe #stardust fandom: detroit: become human

[chemicalblonde]

I rolled out of bed at 3 in the afternoon. 3 weeks ago I left my 9-5 job. The pay, the title, and the sound of it all looked good on paper, but I couldn't bare the unhappiness one more second. While working my flower gig on Mother's Day, I ran into my old boss. It was a picture-perfect scene - I was smiling alongside the owners, beaming ear to ear when I greeted her. In our last conversations, my former boss brought up the fact that she witnessed my struggle with being overwhelmed - so I knew this was a monumental moment.

You have to understand one thing, I have acknowledged that people possess many layers that include faults and wonderful gifts - so to say that she is evil would be untrue. She is a human navigating her own life, as I am mine. Hours later, after enjoying brunch with her family, she returned and I built her a bouquet. We hugged, wished each other well, and continued to go our separate ways.

I don't think about that job anymore and I'm not kept up passed the witching hour tossing and turning with grief and dread about interacting with her either. I don't regret leaving. I have found so much peace in doing so.

I made it to my pottery class 3 hours later and worked alongside 3 other girls who just wanted to get a course under their belt. Or possibly to do something on a Tuesday night that broke their routine. I destroyed 2 of the 3 pots we made. However, I did not feel defeated nor did I feel angry about wasting the money I spent to be there. I think I'll keep trying, and it's okay that I'm not perfect for my first attempt at ceramics since high school.

On my way home, I was stuck in heavy traffic. So I called my brother to inform him of the horrific death of our family friend that happened over the weekend. I have been keeping it inside because sharing this kind of story is sad, and not fair to share with others who aren't attached to this person. I felt relief in our conversation, I no longer had to hold that in.

After I got home, I scarfed down bits of dinner, ran a load of laundry, and decided to go for my nightly walk (I've been walking every night for a few days in a row now and I want to keep it up). I felt lighter. I felt a release of worry, I release of guilt or pressure to figure it out right now. I am happy that I am returning to my core, to my stable self. It's nice to be back. Maybe I do need to pursue a life in yoga training. Maybe I should. I can't think of other vocations that bring me to this kind of clarity. I am beginning to explore parts of myself that I enjoy.

Shayla and I have been indulging ourselves in this therapy show as of late. We stay up crying and psychoanalyzing. But tonight's season finale resonated with me. There was this insufferable woman who would incessantly gripe about her husband and his lack of value. Turns out, this woman was deeply anxious and loved him dearly. Her therapist asked, "What would life look like without your anxiety"? And she began to explain how she wanted to travel to places where there were dangers and uncertainty. That hit home a little too hard. I think of my past relationships and how my anxiety got in the way, how my control was suffocating, and my expectations for myself were projected onto my partners that resulted in feeling unheard or unappreciated by them. Much to chew on.

Shayla is thinking of possibly pursuing a job outside of Texas, which would mean our time living in this beautiful home is now on a countdown. I am sitting in this. It is not new information, but I was just getting comfortable with the idea of staying here long-term. But this is okay too because I would like to leave and explore the world now. It's time. I can pack my things and head to the west coast to be with my brother. I can create new memories with him and his small family like he dreams of...and I dream of too.

It's now 30 minutes until 3 and I should start winding down. I am overwhelmed with such joy and excitement about the newness ahead. May I continue to believe in the universe and all of its blessings.

[niobefurens]

Generation-Specific Instructions for Filing Your Tax Return

By Kathleen Toohill

Gen Z

Filing Status: Defining who you are by your relationship status is patriarchal and reductive. Leave this blank.

Digital Assets: This includes brunch money that’s sitting in Venmo, any TikTok accounts with more than ten thousand followers, and N.F.T.s, but only if you can explain what they are in plain English in less than sixty seconds.

Dependents: LOLZ.

Income: You know that piece of paper your employer gave you which you immediately recycled? The numbers on it go here. If it’s too late to fish it out of the trash, a salute emoji should do the trick.

Tax and Credits: Social Security and Medicare will be totally gone by the time you’re eligible. But don’t worry—the world will be a flaming ball of gas by then, anyway, so contributing to these funds is optional.

Payments: If you nabbed a shelter dog or purchased a doodle during the pandemic, attach Schedule E.I.C. to register your dog as a “qualifying child.”

Refund or Amount You Owe: Everything is going up, from the price of eggs to the heights from which your friends are death diving. You shouldn’t owe the government any more money. If you do, rework the math (thanks, Common Core!) until you fix it.

Millennial

Filing Status: The federal government is just the latest in a long line of institutions and individuals to remind you that you haven’t yet found a partner. Tell Uncle Sam (and Aunt Martha) to kindly eff off.

Digital Assets: If you bought your first property in 2022, congratulations! It’s almost one-sixth the size of the house that your parents bought when they were twenty-three. Also, it does not count as a digital asset, even though you found it on Zillow.

Standard Deduction: You may be tempted to try to claim yourself as a dependent of your parents, or to claim your cat as your dependent. Your parents may have feelings about the former. To do the latter, see below.

Dependents: If you forgot to give your cat a last name, don’t worry—his last name is the same as yours. His Social Security number is his microchip number plus his “gotcha day.”

Income: If you find that you earned more this year than last year while doing less work, congratulations! You did quiet quitting right.

Tax and Credits: If you unquietly quit your job and switched to contract work—surprise! You now owe self-employment tax. (Your new boss is a jerk.)

Payments: This is where you list the outrageous amount of money you spent to see Taylor Swift. If you’re more of a Beyoncé fan, congratulations! You have better taste and aren’t bankrupt.

Refund or Amount You Owe: If you’re lucky, you’ll get a few hundred dollars back, enough to recoup the cost of half of a Taylor Swift ticket.

Gen X

We get it: you effortlessly straddle the gap between digital natives and “the olds,” and you know how to do everything perfectly. Good for you. Sorry about the whole Social Security thing.

Boomer

Filing Status: Don’t use this section to make a joke about deserving an extra tax credit for every decade of marriage. You’re getting free money just for being married!

Digital Assets: You don’t have any of these. No, sending memes to your financial adviser does not count, and neither does sending the money-tongue emoji to your kids in the family chat.

Dependents: Too many. They’re in your basement, your attic, oozing out of the crown molding in your seven-hundred-thousand-square-foot starter home. You would have kicked them out already, but the youngest still owes you an explanation of N.F.T.s, and the oldest promised to take you to see Taylor Swift if you paid for the tickets.

Income: You could stop working, but work is what gets you out of the house every day. Pat yourself on the back for enforcing the return-to-office policy—everyone loves you for it!

Tax and Credits: Your tax guy already figured this out, and your list of writeoffs is longer than the number of TikTok trends that have whooshed over your head.

Payments: Remember how you helped build this economy? You get credit for that. Thank you for your service.

Refund or Amount You Owe: Thanks to the fancy accounting moves of your tax guy and the fact that you learned math before the introduction of the Common Core, you’re getting a big chunk of change back. Time to buy some N.F.T.s. ♦

[rainset]

D O G XXXI

It’s a silent arrival. Jungle rains patter against massive swirling trees and foliage. At least here, he feels as big as a normal person among the trees.

DOG’s giant claws gently step onto roots and stems of ancient flora. Desaturated verdancy surround him when he wishes to see the ground.

When exiting his larger body, it leans over, moving over metals and softer films to allow him exit. He felt the detachment. Something wriggled back from his neck. It’s a cold metal, flat but spinal.

It takes a moment to get used to his new form of sight. He blinks. Everything feels refreshed.. but a echo of dread calls out to him from former memory. He feels that spinal snake thing from his neck. It’s apart of him now, this link. He pulls on it and it stretches out to where he can see it. There’s a sharp blade at its end. Small rows of ports embedded. It’s inner cord is soft, flesh like, red.

But something notifies him of all material components as well as purpose, function. A neural link between him and other forms of physical and virtual data— be it organic or inorganic.

He lets go of it, snapping back. Subconsciously slithering down flat to his neck.

Slowly, he gets up, stumbling at first, then falling out from the chest cavity— into his own hand.

It’s strange. Limbs not attached but still present. Ghost like. He turns up and looks at his other self.

It is still— a snouted gnashing monster. Rows of canines with four prominent sabers towards the front. It’s not exactly a dog or wolf. Seeing it with restoration gives reason to its name: it is a demon. A snouted humanoid, its eye sockets full of blood and disgusting tubes shoved in past its molars, causing a constant secretion to come past them. It breathes too, as if it is alive. Strange enough— it’s inner flesh, the mouth, the gums— are white.

White like…

That part of his face. The one that shows things that most don’t want to see.

He looks to his hand.

It’s that same white. Recycled flesh, now coating his entire body. His body isn’t that of a boys anymore either. He doesn’t recognize these limbs, these dark nails, and he’s glad he can’t see his face, his.. other face.

He can’t picture what it is.

Looking up, rain drops hit his eyes and run off. He doesn’t blink but enjoys the soothing. Something in his mind, searches the waves.

There’s contact.

Rosalina: “Who- Jeremy? That you..?”

A voice speaks, one that is foreign to him.

It doesn’t sound like his.

Dog: “Yes.”

There’s a silent moment.

Rosalina: “What’s happened to your voice, is this.. that machine’s automated or-?”

Dog: “I don’t know. I just responded.”

There’s a little bit of static.

Rosalina: “Well, we just landed. People want to speak with you— I’m going to plead your case. Hopefully you won’t get charged with anything, I mean, you’re just a kid!”

Dog is silent. Looking at himself again, his body was no longer a child’s. His mind is melded with another’s and that too is taking it’s toll.

He starts feeling naked.

Nanons crawl onto his smaller form, giving him an ideal cover for his body. He lowers his larger hand down.

Finally he takes his first steps.

Rosalina: “Can you get coordinates?”

Without thinking, Dog sent out the request. In an instant, he knows where to go.

Dog: “I’ll be there.”

Rosalina: “Okay- be there soon!”

End of transmission.

He’s alone again.

Dog commands his larger body to nestle itself to be somewhere hidden and rest. Nanons continued their work.

Dog continues to walk. But slowly.. it all starts to creep into his mind.

And he can’t perish these thoughts.

——

#writers on tumblr #practice #my writing #writing #writings #short story #story practice #sci fi #space fantasy #stories on tumblr #DOG #writerblr

[joyofkinoko]

Diamond in the Rough | 24 (900~ words)

You’ve never liked your older brother’s job as a paranormal investigator on YouTube, but as long as he never brought it home, you didn’t mind. But after a series of nightmares and unexplainable circumstances, you suck it up and ask Yeonjun and his friends for help in getting rid of the ghost that’s attached itself to you. And though Taehyun warned him against it, Hueningkai finds his own self getting attached to you too.

.: friends to lovers .:. f!reader .:. fluff, hurt/comfort, paranormal :.

.: tw: paranormal elements, mature language, depression, sexually suggestive comments, slut-shaming :.

.: masterlist .:. budget ghostbusters :.

“She’s always been a fucking slut.”

Her voice echoes down the school hallway and your world stops, just as everyone else around you does.

“And she knows it too,” Karina continues throughout the new silence in the area.

Blinking your tears back and you gulp down your nerves and irritation and let yourself go. Turning around, your eyes meet hers and you know you’re no longer afraid to fight back. “Was I the one who slept with my best friend’s crush?”

She scoffs. “As if he was ever interested in return.”

“Was I the one who forced my best friend to do things for her?”

“You volunteered.”

“Was I the one who dropped my best friend the moment you couldn’t benefit from her anymore?”

And with that, Karina steps forward towards you, her snarky smile fading, now unafraid to unleash her own bitchiness. “It’s so cute that you think I ever considered you my friend, much less my best friend.”

There was a time in which you genuinely liked Karina.

You’ve always been the shyer type, and so, it wasn’t rare for you to have a small friend group. When the kids at school learned who you were related to, however, Karina, the ‘coolest’ girl in school picked you to be her new ‘other half’. You became somewhat of a duo, and you did love her genuinely as a friend.

You noticed that she’d always ask about your sibling and his friends though. You noticed that she’d always convince you to let her come over even though you weren’t comfortable with having guests over. You noticed that she got closer to Heeseung after you confided your feelings for him with her.

You noticed.

You just kept your mouth shut, because she was your first best friend.

You thought these things were normal between best friends.

And from the crowd, a familiar voice yells out, “Weren’t you the one who tried to bring Kai upstairs at her party?” It’s Heeseung, who pushes through a few students and positions himself between you two. “Trying to cuck your friend twice I see.”

Karina walk away from you, smiling coyly at the crowd of students that have now crowded around you. “Choi Yn's fucking crazy or possessed or whatever. Did you not all see the videos from her party?"

"The party you practically forced me to hold?" You protest to which Karina only rolls her eyes.

"She’s also fucking her older brother’s best friend, and he probably doesn’t even know," Karina outright claims. "She could even be sleeping with all her brother’s friends. Why do you all think she won’t introduce even her closest friends to people she calls her family?”

Karina chuckles. “Well, it did work the first time.”

“Cause I was horny and I didn’t mind breaking your heart,” Heeseung replies without missing a beat. “I still don’t.”

Heeseung was your best friend for a little longer than Karina was. At times, it felt like he was a better one than her, and in this moment, you realize those impressions were right.

He was always one of the cooler kids, popular, athletic, cute; and you fell for him just like all the other girls did. But beyond your friendship, he respected you. It may have hurt to see him be with your (former) best friend, but he never led you on.

“Why are you acting up right now, Hee?” Karina asks, clearly annoyed by his behavior. “We need to talk in private.”

“No, the fuck we’re not. We,” Heeseung starts, taking you by the hand. “Are getting away from you.”

And just like that, you are back in the front passenger’s seat of Heeseung’s car, driving through the streets of Seoul on the way to the Budget Ghostbusters mansion. You don’t share many words, finding the silence more comfortable than opening up about whatever the hell just happened.

“Are you okay?” Heeseung breaks the quiet.

“I think so.” You mean it. “I do have one regret.”

“What?”

“I kinda wish I slapped her in the face.”

Heeseung laughs. “Let me know if you decide to do so in the future. I wanna film it.” And again, silence in the streets, up until Heeseung clears his throat. “For the record, I’m really sorry about what happened between us before.”

“Stop-”

“No, Yn,” Heeseung interrupts you. “I am sorry. I was always just a bystander, and I let you be hurt by her because I figured, there goes Karina again.”

You find yourself staring down at your lap, twiddling your fingers. You may not like Heeseung anymore, but he still matters to you. “I mean, you have known her for longer.”

“But I never really liked in her all that time,” Heeseung admits nonchalantly. “I just let her go fucking crazy because she promised me gifts and clout or whatever- I- I don’t know. All I know is that I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay Hee,” you reply. And it is okay. “I’ve had a year to accept how I’ve been treated. But I do have one question.”

“What?”

“Did you ever... like me?”

Silence.

“Like,” you continue. “Even just as a friend. Did you ever actually like... me?”

“Of course I did,” and again, Heeseung doesn’t miss a beat. “I may have even liked you more than just... platonic... at one point. But you were always too nice for me. Guys like me.”

“Oh really?” You tease, overall, just grateful for his honesty.

“Guys who sleep around and don’t care about being friends with bitches. You’re too good.”

And as he cruises down the highway, you take the opportunity to look up at him while he can’t take his own eyes off the road. “Are you still that kind of guy?”

He smiles, and you notice him trying to glance at you. “I’m trying not to be. Hopefully one day, I can answer with ‘absolutely fucking not’.”

“But for now?”

“I’m trying my best.”

You smile at your old friend, afraid of where you might be going next, but content with your small step into your new freedom. “Damn, try harder.”

And you both burst out laughing.

taglist: @day6andetcetera @blaaiissee @etherealcherrie @duolingofanaccount @lovable-squidbrain @choi-y-n @soobsdior @rae-blogging @hotgirlsunoo @butterflx​ @groovybiscuitdiplomatpeach​ @joti17​​ @rieoluv​​

#tomorrow x together #txt kpop #x reader #hueningkai #tomorrow x together kai #kai x reader #txt smau #social media au #txt fluff #txt imagines #txt headcanons #txt scenarios

[verus-veritas]

Legacy

Revenge, Technology, Mind Transference, with a dash of unrequited love. What’s not to love? /Verus

"Dude! P-please! I'm sorry! Whatever you think I've done, it must all be a mistake!" Andew yelled, thrashing against his confinements and eyeing the only point of exit in the room. His firm muscles were wet and taut against his clothes, and his handsome face flush red with terror and worry.

"Are you really sorry though? It didn't seem like it from the way you acted during Gavin's funeral. The sneers and laughter you made as his parents said their final words to him..." I said, hiding in the shadows. Only my feet and the contours of my body was visible for him to see.

"N-no offense. I just found it funny when the parents said they wish he'd atleast gotten a girlfriend before he passed away-" The same devious sneer returned on his perfectly handsome face, as he most likely remembered the scene in his head.

"Of course you found it funny. Because you knew he was completely gay. Gay, and had a massive crush on you for ages. He literally worshipped the ground you walked on, and spent most of his waking hours wishing he could be with you." I explained, slowly walking around him as I pulled out a flimsy latex cap with electronical nodes attached to it.

"And I let him. I did no wrong." Andrew talked back. His eyes following my figure until I stood directly behind him.

"No! You lead him on, made him believe you were actually interested in him. And then you destroyed him. You are the reason he ran out of the house crying, and you are the reason he didn't see the truck speeding towards him!" My voice was shaking as I quickly slapped the cap onto his head, accidentally pulling out a few strands of his hair.

"Ouuch! Get this thing off me!" He shook his head and began thrashing about again.

"You know. He really loved you... He said he was going to make you the happiest man on earth. Showering you with gifts and undying love, and be by your side forever and ever. That's why he trusted you so wholeheartedly and let you do whatever you wanted."

"Naive..." He quietly muttered under his breath.

"He was even fine with you staring and drooling over other girls. As long as he could stay by your side."

"What a fag..." I could hear him gritting his teeth.

"But that evening when you invited him over, only to have him find you in the bedroom hooking up with a random girl... that completely ruined him. You shattered his dream, his self-confidence, and his sensitive soul! He didn't know what to do and where to go, which is why he ran straight out into the traffic..." My voice was uncontrollably going up and down now, as I was unable to hide my emotions.

"Dude only had himself to blame. He should've known I only had him around for the free stuff he bought for me." Andrew snickered, as he looked down at the expensive shorts Gavin had bought for him a few weeks prior.

"How dare you!" I tried to punch his shoulder, but knew I was too weak to do any real damage against his hard muscles.

"Y'know... it almost sounds like you had feelings for him- Wait a minute! You're that pastry white kid that always walked around with him aren't you?! Hah! 'Ghost boy' we called you!" The tone in his voice shifted - with more confidence and arrogance. Back to the way he normally talked - a manipulative bastard at heart. "I see. So you best friend Gavin never had feelings for you, and now that he's gone you blame yourself for not having stopped him."

"......" I clenched my hands till my knuckles turned white.

"Hah! Maybe you really were a horrible friend. Have you thought about that you might be the reason he's dead?" He laughed, obviously enjoying the way he was toying with my feelings.

"...you have no idea..." I mumbled, as tears began to flow down my cheeks.

"Maybe you should be the one sitting in this chair - tied up and wearing this stupid cap on your head. Hehe."

I took a deep breath and calmed myself, before walking around him once again and turning so he could see me. See the real me... one last time. "I will. Soon."

"W-what do you mean with that? And why are you also wearing that ridiculous cap?" He asked. His tone in voice once again becoming panicked and anxious.

"You see. The reason why I'm so pale is because I spend so much time at home playing with my inventions and devices. Coding is one of my favorite things to do. And for the last few months I've relentlessly been working on creating this device we're both wearing right now. It was originally only meant to be used on you, recoding the patterns in your brain into loving Gavin as much as he loved you. While also erasing all of your bad traits and turning you into his ideal boyfriend... but there's no reason for that anymore, is there? So, I upgraded it into 2.0, which can now be used with two people."

"P-pff... yeah right... and what does this new version do then?"

"It can transfer the consciousness between two human brains. Even recoding the brain into believing the new consciousness have always been in control of its own body. All the memories, habits, and even muscle memory will be easily accessible to the new permanent owner." I explained, as I began fiddling with a machine by our side. The nodes on our caps lit up.

"Permanent?! Wait a minute. Let's say all of this freaky sci-fi stuff is actually real, what's going to happen to my consciousness?" Andrew asked, as he began to get more anxious by the beeping sound of the nodes on his head.

"All gone. Overwritten by mine. Erased out of existence with no way of restoring it." I answered nonchalantly. Flicking the last switched around, the device was now ready to be activated.

"What the fuck! Then you're basically killing me?! Get me out of here, you sick freak!" He began violently thrashing against the back of the chair, and flung his head around to get the latex cap off... but to no avail.

"Am I really though? Your memories, your body, and your relationships will all still be here, under my complete control. I'm just... discarding a small part of you that's no longer necessary."

"No...no... Help! HELP! SOMEONE!! THIS CRAZY MOTHERFUCKER IS GOING TO KILL ME!" He shouted at the top of his lungs, but the soundproofed walls would do him no good.

I flicked the final switch and walked over to him as the machine began buzzing. Standing in front of him, I suddenly sat down on his lap and grabbed hold of his face. I stared into his fearful yet piercing blue eyes and slid my hands across the cheeks and contours of his face.

"This beautiful face of yours that Gavin loved, I promise I'll take good care of it and cherish it until the day I die. It's the least I can do to honor my friend Gavin." I leaned forward and gently laid a kiss on his sweaty forehead, while holding him in place as he screamed for all he was worth.

"No! Noo! NOoO-Uoogguuughhhh" His scream turned into a gurgle as his eyes rolled to the back of his head. At the same time, my eyes went white and hazy as my pastry body slumped over and fell on the cement floor. Most likely cracked open its head or something from the sound of it.

"NgOOuoouughhgguuuhh!!!" Andrew's head flung back and forth as if to fight whatever was invading his head, but it barely took a minute before the thrashing suddenly stopped and his head slumped down.

His eyes were closed, his face flushed red from exertion, and the sweat and drool pooled down onto his expensive shorts. A further five minutes of stillness and blinking nodes passed before any activity was seen.

---

*Gasp*

I awoke to the cap on my head giving me a quick electric shock. In front of me laid my old withered body, lifeless and without a doubt stone dead. My throat felt dry and tired, and the ties on my arms hurt like hell. In fact, everything felt, looked, and smelt different. The smell oozing from my sweaty clothes that once smelt great now stunk in my nose. I could recall from Andrew's memories that he showered atleast twice a day. I showered atleast twice a day.

After some fiddling with the special knots in my back, I easily slipped the rope off. Massaging the sore parts on my wrist, I soon relished in how big and strong my new hands looked now. Hands who should've been holding Gavin's...

I explored further up till I reached my new bulging biceps. Squeezing them I felt how firm and taut they were. I never in a million years would have managed to get myself this big, but here I was, standing in the body of a perfect specimen. The body of the man who my friend loved, but who didn't truly love him back. If only I could've done this before Gavin died... Would he have loved me instead, or would he have hated me for what I had done? Well, atleast he would've been alive.

My focus went to my Andrew face, as I caressed the blemish-free skin and the small stubble forming on it. The face of the man I had hated for a while, the face of the man whose identity I would have to take over, and the face I would see in the mirror for as long as I breathed. It was one of the most handsome faces I've ever laid my eyes on no doubt, so I'm perfectly fine with that decision.

My hands continued to explore what was now mine; running fingers through my lush but wet hair, following the outline of my cobblestone abs, and shaking my strong and muscular legs awake from sitting too long.

Not long after I finally slipped the drool and sweat-soaked shorts off myself and watched as the tool between my legs arose to its new owner. It might not have been as long as my former one, but the very girth of it made up for it. As I enveloped it between my palms, I realized that no one had ever been as intimate with Andrew's tool as I was now, and no one would ever be. Not even Gavin would if he was somehow resurrected. Only I, Andrew would ever know how this throbbing member would feel in my own hands, the endorphins and pleasure its touch would send throughout my amazing body, and the ultimate earth-shattering orgasms I would experience as I edge myself to climax every day from now on.

The very thought of it immediately brought me to the brink of orgasm, so I quickly spread my legs apart and thrust the member fully through my grasp. It was all that was needed as I suddenly began shaking with pleasure and exploded shot after shot of Andrew seed all over the floor, myself and my former lifeless body."Ugh! Uuuugh! UUUuOOGggHH!!"

“.... Holy shit.....” I moaned, slightly shocked by the unfamiliarity of the new voice coming from my throat.

Reeling from my first ever orgasm in my new body and life, I sat back down on the chair and took a breather. I was sweaty, my crotch sticky, and my armpits stunk. Yet, I know I still looked glorious. How couldn't I? After all, I am Andrew. The man who Gavin loved, and who loved him back just as much, if not even more...

I will dedicate this new life of mine to worship and care for this body just as much as Gavin would have. His legacy, Andrew's body and life, and my consciousness have finally become one... and I promise I will carry them with pride and confidence to the grave... even if it is the only thing I will accomplish in this short insignificant life of mine.

#possession #revenge #selflove #love #dark #permanent #identity theft #mine

[teletraan-meets-jarvis]

What I Want - Part 2

AO3 Link

Chapter Title: What I Need

Pairing: Crosshair x fem!Jedi Reader

Summary: Following the awkwardness of the night before, you go to an old friend to try and process your feelings for Crosshair.

Click here for Part 1

Warnings: 18+, a bit more frisky business but not full on so rated 18 just to be safe. Swearing.

Word Count: 2.6k

Author’s Notes: You ask, you get!! Thanks so much for all the support and love for part 1 ❤️. As a thank you, I bring you part 2, I hope you enjoy! If this one takes off a bit as well, I do have an idea for a little bonus chapter around the Bad Batches' reaction. As always, feedback/comments are massively appreciated along with reblogs. Fic is below the cut off, thanks for reading!!

Taglist: @aerynwrites @shannon-lynn-21 @saltywintersoldat @tired-night-owl @wille-zarr

A comm alarm beeped softly, slowly pulling you out your slumber. Giving the device a sleepy glare, you shut it off and huffed back onto your bunk. Wrecker’s snores were echoing off the small ship barracks, you rolled your eyes at his sleeping form across the room as you swung your legs over the side of your top bunk. Below you, Tech slept soundly, he managed to fall asleep with his goggles on which were now sitting wonky on his relaxed face. He also had a datapad clutched to his chest, almost like a teddy bear, which made you chuckle to yourself.

You’d barely slept after getting back from the mission but being a General stopping over on Coruscant meant rest would be a pipe dream. Your alarm was set to get you out of bed and ready for the first of what you were sure would be a hundred and ten briefings today. You were always happy to shoulder the politics for the team, removing that burden from Hunter so they could keep to themselves. But today, you could really do without it.

You looked over at Hunter and Crosshair’s bunks, the former sleeping up top with an arm over his eyes. Probably to block out the few small coloured lights on the ship that shone from critical systems, preventing the room from being truly pitch black. You didn’t envy Hunter’s enhanced senses, they seemed to cause him quite a bit of discomfort when they weren’t on missions. You should probably pick him up an eye mask one of these days.

Below him, Crosshair slept with his back to the open room. One of the few times you ever saw his body relaxed was when he slept. You cringed as you remembered yesterday’s awkwardness with the sniper and mentally cursed at yourself for causing, what was, an easily avoidable situation.

Shaking your head you jumped silently off of your bunk, mindful to not wake any of the batch. You gently removed Tech’s goggles, placing them in their usual spot before moving over to grab some fresh robes and head for the fresher. Today was going to be a real drag.

—————————————————

“Hey! Look what the Lothcat dragged in” someone called after you as you trudged up the steps to the GAR Headquarters. You turned around to see none other than Anakin Skywalker jogging up behind you.

“Nice to see you too Skyguy” he chuckled at the nickname as he threw an arm around your shoulders.

You fell into companionable chatter as you made your way to your first meeting, the dark halls of the military headquarters looking indistinguishable as you attempted to find the correct room. Members of the Coruscant Guard patrolled the halls, nodding politely to you both as you strolled past.

Eventually you found the room where Mace, Plo and Luminara were waiting, along with some clone and human high command. You stood outside the door for a moment, readying yourself to seal your fate of being talked at for a solid eight standard hours.

Eventually you caved, mostly as you were on the verge of being late if you debated standing outside any longer. Begrudgingly, you sat through briefing after briefing. All the voices and different rooms blending into one grey blur as you tried to take in what information you could, but your tired and stressed mind was having none of it.

While it was nice to catch up with some of the other Jedi, you always felt a bit out of place among the perfect members of the council. More so now than ever.

You ended up wandering back to the temple with Anakin where you both retired to his room and you flopped down onto his simple bed with a whine.

“Okay, what’s going on? You’ve been off all day” Anakin was the closest thing you had to a brother, you trained as Padawans together and due to your similar age you became fast friends. You knew about his marriage to Padme and decided that if you could offload your dilemma on anyone, it’d be him.

“I fucked up” you groaned out from behind your hands.

“What’d you do?” Anakin replied in a playful tone.

“I might’ve got a bit hot and heavy with one of the clones in my squad, led him on and then cut it off” Anakin raised an eyebrow at your confession. “And now he’s pissed at me”

“Why?” You weren’t entirely sure which part of that entire thing he was questioning.

“Because I started the whole thing, I wanted it. Then all of a sudden I did that whole guilty Jedi, must follow every word of the order thing, gave him some pathetic look which said really sorry I can’t have attachments mate, hope you understand. He called me out on it before I could even utter the banthashit excuse and then he stomped off and hasn’t spoken to me since.”

“In his defence, seems like he was probably wound a little tight” Anakin replied with a chuckle which you just groaned at.

“He has every right to be pissed. Hells, I would be if the roles were reversed. Whats with this whole self-righteous act us Jedi have going on?”

“Look, it’s hard being a Jedi at the best of times. It takes an inhumane amount of self-control, which is why its not a path for the weak. But being a Jedi while at war… it’s a lot. You’re emotions are running high, you’re forming bonds with soldiers on the battlefield that you shouldn’t be, but none of us can help it because it’s uncharted territory. Maker knows I’d hunt down anyone who hurt Obi-Wan or my Captain. Yes, It’s not the Jedi way, but neither is fighting a grand-scale war.” Anakin’s eyes were alive with emotion as he spoke, be he quickly caught himself and then it was gone.

“My point is, don’t beat yourself up so much. No one is getting kicked out the order or in his case reconditioned if that’s what you’re worried about. Figure out what it is you want, and then just be discreet about it” you looked at Anakin like he’d grown two heads, he just winked at your confused stare.

“Okay let’s keep it simple. Are you attracted to him?” You thought back to the night before and firmly nodded in response.

“Do you like him as a person?” You pondered his question.

“Well, it’s Cross. I wasn’t sure if he even liked me for a long time. He’s closed off, anti-social, but he’s also a good guy, cares about his brothers, has saved my ass multiple times, and he is kinda funny in his own, snide way” you rattled off with fondness in your words.

“Well then I suggest you go and talk to him.” Anakin replied, giving you a knowing look when he spotted the small smile on your lips as you spoke about the sniper.

You took a deep breath, glad to have finally gotten that off your chest and feeling content that you now knew what to do next. “Thanks, Ani”

“Ugh please don’t call me that” he moaned back, apparently only Padme was allowed to get away with that one.

————————————————

Your walk back to the Marauder felt like it dragged on and on. Your brain ran over a thousand scenarios of what to say, how he’d react and you were about to short circuit. There was so much risk, so much possibility, that you did your best to shut your mind off and let yourself handle it in the moment. These things never went as planned anyway, it was best not to guess.

The large door to the ship hissed open, your boots clanking on the metal surface as you cautiously walked into your home. It didn’t take you long to find Crosshair, he was sat in the main hull methodically cleaning his hand blaster. Everyone else must’ve been asleep. He was just in his blacks, the material hugging him in the most wonderful way, it’s like whoever designed those things was trying to trip you up. The contours of his arm muscles flexing as he worked, his strong chest looked practically chiselled at the heart of his lean frame. You had to force yourself to calm down a little bit.

“Uh, hey” you greeted awkwardly. “Mind if I join you?”

You took his silence as a well he’s not saying no. He didn’t spare you a glance as you walked in and took a seat opposite him. As a General in the GAR, you rarely got nervous. War, as a concept, was simple. You knew your purpose, your objective, you had a job to get done and you’d do it. The risks never stopped you, rather they fuelled you. Probably why you’re such a good fit for the bad batch.

But this right now, personal feelings, not knowing where you stand with someone you care about. Because if you were honest, you really did care about Crosshair, the same as you did the rest of the team. You’d only been with the squad just under a year but you’d gladly lay down your life for any of them in a heartbeat. If you could at least get back to where you were before the other night, you’d be over the moon.

You weren’t used to being so nervous, you let your hands fiddle with you dark Jedi robes as you readied yourself to speak again.

“Look, I’m not here to throw some crap about being a Jedi at you, I promise. And I’m sorry for trying it before” he still didn’t look at you, finding his blaster much more interesting. But you could tell he was listening, you had his attention. Might as well keep babbling.

“In terms of an explanation for what happened yesterday, well I guess I panicked.” You sighed as you tried to find the next words “The way you made me feel that night, I… I’ve never felt like that before and everything i’d been taught over the years screamed at me that what I was doing was dangerous and wrong. I now realise that I’m just an idiot. I make my own decisions and I… uh -well, I stick by that one, starting something that is.” Still nothing.

“I know this is probably a long shot. But in the interest of being transparent” you rambled “uh… if you want to go down that road again, I’m up for seeing what happens, can be as casual as we like. I promise I won’t freak out on you again.” You chuckled and thought you almost spotted a slight pull in the corner of Crosshair’s lips “But if you want to go back to how we were before, I’d also really like that.” You watched him for a while as he gave no acknowledgement of your words, his cleaning finished as he now gave the weapon a once over in his hands. Having said everything you needed, you got up from your seat, looking away from him.

“Well, if I can do anything else, let me know” you turned on your heel to leave, feeling slightly defeated but glad you’d at least made the first step.

“I could think of a few things” he finally spoke as he leaned back into his seat and continued to stare at his blaster, still not meeting your gaze.

Well that caught your attention, you turned back around to face him as he carried on ignoring you. While his tone was unbothered as he spoke, you knew him just enough to know his words held a meaning. He was playing with you, back to his usual teasing and you could’ve laughed at the relief that washed over you. This you could work with. A cheeky idea popped into your head and you’d decided to run with it.

“Oh really?” Throwing caution to the wind, you strode over to the sniper slowly. His gaze finally meeting yours after all this time, watching you as you got closer and closer. Practically drawing you in with his amber eyes. You pushed him back by his chest, creating enough room so you could straddle his lap. “Care to elaborate?”

He huffed out a short laugh at your words, his face overall unbothered but his eyes, they were burning into you. “You’re a smart girl, I’m sure you’ll figure it out”.

You hummed in response, deciding to kick things up a notch you wrapped your arms around his neck, bringing your faces just breaths apart. “Something like this?” You asked, pausing for another second before bringing your lips to his in a surprisingly soft and gentle kiss. You felt his hands come up to rest on your back, pulling you closer as you continued your slow dance. This was so different from the other night, where before there was desperation and lust, now there was something more… tender, passionate. You were quite glad you weren’t standing as the way he moved against you would’ve definitely made your knees weak.

Dragging yourself away from his lips, you searched his face. His mouth pulled into a barely there smirk “That’s a start.”

“Who said I was finished?” And just like that, the last few strands of tension between you both snapped and you relaxed in his arms. You fisted your hands into the front of his blacks and pulled him back to you, his tongue slipped between your lips, curious and demanding. He was everywhere again, filling your nose with the scent of the standard cheap GAR soap but mixed with something earthy, something so distinctly Crosshair and you couldn’t get enough.

You could tell why the Jedi order frowned upon such activities, kissing Crosshair was intoxicating. You couldn’t think of anything else other than the handsome clone in front of you and just how much you wanted him in that moment.

His hands wandered lower and lower down you back until they rested comfortably on your backside, pulling you further up his lap. Feeling mischievous, you started trailing kisses along his jaw. Setting a teasing, languid pace as you mapped out the spots that made him squirm. Crosshair was never a man of many words, so you made it your mission to see just how vocal you could make him.

As your lips met his pulse point, he gave a loud exhale and you smirked in victory against his skin as you continued the onslaught on his senses. You definitely seemed to be doing something right as his hands found themselves in your hair, clutching slightly and you couldn’t help the soft moan that escaped you. Even while trying to gain the upper hand in the situation, he always had some control over you. It was maddening in the best way, setting your veins alight with desire.

Determined to get another victory you traced your tongue against the base of the side of his neck and trailed it all the way up to the bottom of his ear, which you teasingly took into your mouth, teeth grazing the soft skin. A strangled moan escaped the clone and that was the moment where you knew you were hopelessly and utterly gone. Your mind filled with nothing other than wanting to be closer to Crosshair.

“Not very Jedi of you” he commented, slightly breathless when you finally stopped teasing him and came back up to meet his eyes. Looking down at where your bodies were pressed against one another, you chuckled.

“What exactly about this situation led you to believe I was ever a model Jedi?” You smirked, though it was only visible for a second before his mouth was back on yours, devouring you as his hands greedily roamed your body.

You continued making out like teenagers for most of the evening, taking the time to explore each other, enjoying the closeness. Contentment settled over your body, almost as if this was were you were meant to be. If Crosshair’s arms were where you belonged, well, you could think of worse places to be.

Back to Part 1

Back to Masterlist

#tj writes #star wars #clone wars #crosshair x reader #the bad batch #tbb #tbb crosshair #tbb crosshair x reader #star wars fic #star wars fanfic #clone wars fic #clone wars fanfic #clone force 99 #jedi reader #tbb hunter #hunter #tbb wrecker #wrecker #tbb tech #tech #anakin skywalker

[caker-baker]

The Fall Guy

Ah, hell. Maybe the hero didn’t think this through. This was more of a myth than anything, if myth was the right word.

Or maybe it was just a pizza place and the hero was overthinking things.

Regardless, it wouldn’t hurt to try.

“Uh, hi.” The hero greeted the lanky cashier. “Can I get the hero’s special? I’m willing to pay extra.”

The cashier regarded this with a blink, then another, then finally, to finish off his grand display of emotion, he sighed.

“With or without the ‘save the day’ toppings?”

The hero scrambled to remember what to say. “With, please.”

Now with mild interest, the cashier leaned over. “Down that way, second door on your left.”

“Thank you.” The hero said with narrowed eyes.

Holy hell, that whole interaction felt like a strange dream that was a little too realistic. And that cashier was a bit too intrigued.

Jesus, their heart was beating in their ears at this point.

It could all be a lie, all of it, this could all be an intricate and carefully crafted lie told by a villain, made to lure in unsuspecting heroes to their deaths.

Too late now, their hand was already turning the handle.

Where the hero was expecting some small room that fit logistically with the rest of the joint, there were stairs.

No, they didn’t like this at all. But what was the choice, go down there, or go back outside?

Downstairs it was.

Surprisingly, it got lighter, and larger, a hard contrast to the ominous setting. And with the light came music. Something very upbeat, lots of drums and guitars, and loud.

With their final step, the hero was able to see the cause of the music, two large speakers attached to a phone.

They also got to see the apparent villain, sitting and humming along to the beat.

“Hello?”

The villain, who’s head snapped up, reached to turn down the music before turning around.

If the hero was unsure before, they definitely were unsure now. They couldn’t help being nervous as an oil stained face looked them up and down.

“I know you.” The villain finally said.

“You do?”

The villain hummed in thought. “You were the one involved in the bridge incident two weeks ago, yeah?”

A strange bout of pain overcame the hero.

“Yeah, that was me.”

“Well, no need to look all guilty about it.” The villain stood from their stool, still shielding whatever caused the oil on their face. “Everyone screws up. Is that why you want to leave?”

“No! I’m not running away from that, I’m running away from-”

“You’re getting away from the heroing part. I get it.” The villain reached behind them, grabbing measuring tape. “Mind if I get your measurements?”

“What for?”

“The decoy. Did whoever told you about this not tell you about how it works?” The villain spoke while they untangled the tape.

“No. I didn’t even know if this was real. I thought the cashier was just annoyed by me.”

“Yeah, Paul, he’s just judgy.” The villain stepped closer. “Step on this.”

The hero put a foot on one end of the measuring tape while the villain pulled the rest of it up to the top of the hero’s head.

“Thanks.”

The villain seemed fine in silence, the hero, however, felt like their whole being was vibrating with questions.

When the villain moved away, the hero felt themself breathe out heavily.

“You alright there?” The villain asked, turning away to write something down. “Don’t tell me you’re nervous.”

The hero chuckled awkwardly. “It wouldn’t be very heroic if I was, would it?”

Turning around again, the villain spoke. “Well, considering you won’t be a hero much longer, I won’t hold it against you.”

It all seemed to fall out of the hero at once, words carefully hidden away now in full sight.

“I didn’t even want to be a hero, then one day I was drafted. I don’t know how they found out what I could do, I never registered. All I wanted was to keep my head down, but suddenly I was out with the big leagues.”

Several creases had formed on the hero’s head.

“And then the tracking, oh, God, the tracking. I went out for fast food once without telling anyone, just for a moment of peace, and it was like the world imploded.”

The villain rested their chin in their hand, nodding emphatically every once in a while.

“You know there’s three days of training before they shove you into the world. They don’t care what you run into, as long as you defeat it. ‘Real heroes don’t run’ type bullshit. Ironically, that’s the most freedom we get, going up against something or someone three times our sizes.”

The villain turned their head to the side.

“And there’s a seminar on meeting foreign dignitaries! Meetings on how to address the general public, correct customs for different world leaders. Jesus, I don’t even get a choice on where I stay! I could be shipped off to Japan tomorrow.”

The hero stopped, their eyes glazing over with a strange numbness.

“Then I messed up, put on house arrest. God, that’s the happiest I’ve been in a while. Of course, I did have to beg to go and get ‘pizza’, even after the house arrest. That was the only downside, I guess.”

A beat.

“Are you finished?” The villain asked.

A brilliant scarlet color bloomed across the hero’s face. “Sorry. I got carried away.”

The villain waved them off. “Happens to nearly every one of my customers, sometimes the best therapy is just venting to the fall guy.”

“Fall guy?” The hero echoed, eyebrows furrowing.

That made the villain pause. “Yes? If this was all found out, who do you think would take the fall? Paul?” They laughed.

“Are you never, I don’t know, worried about being caught?”

The villain shrugged half heartedly. “Well, last time it happened, I just packed it up and moved. This time I had to make it pizza. Used to be donuts.” Their lips pursed. “I miss the donuts.”

The hero opened their mouth, then closed it again, trying to figure something out.

“What if-” Those weren’t quite the right words. “What happens if one of your, ah, customers gets loose lips, talks to the wrong person?”

“That, my dear hero, is a matter of trust. And it helps I am financially gifted, powerful. It’s a matter of who would last longer, and it will always be me.”

“I see.”

The villain leaned against their work table. “Hey, do me a favor.”

“Sure.”

“Can you portal something?”

The hero blinked, not expecting that. “Depends on what and how far.”

“Yourself, to a rendezvous point, say, oh, twenty six miles from here.”

The villain was grinning, waiting patiently for the hero to realize their plan.

“You use the heroes who come here, their powers to help them.” They concluded.

“While my decoys certainly do last quite a while, it’s not forever, and heroes often don’t realize the assets they have available. Speaking of, how come you haven’t tried it?”

The hero swallowed. “Portalling a living person is complicated.”

At that, the villain motioned with their hand, urging the hero to tell them what they weren’t saying.

“And,” the hero began. “my portals don’t like technology. The tracker in me could malfunction, electrocuting me before I get all the way through.”

“How did you learn that?” The villain asked, turning to scribble something down.

“The bridge incident was my first mistake as a hero, not a person.”

The villain let out a laugh. “Seems you’re just as morally gray as me.”

“It’s why I can’t be a hero.”

The villain smirked at the self righteousness of the hero, who probably didn’t even realize they were being self righteous.

“And the tracker,” the villain switched subjects. “standard GIM-14U?”

Wait, something wasn’t adding up here. There was something too certain, too familiar about the way it rolled off the villain’s tongue.

“How’d you know?”

The villain tensed, as if they hadn’t expected anyone to pick up in their certainty.

“My clientele often times have the same one.”

“And?” The hero prodded.

They could hear the villain mumble a curse under their breath.

“I used to have one. First prototype, in fact.”

Something else didn’t add up. The first GIM-14U came out several years ago, when the hero was a kid. The villain was barely older than the hero, maybe the same age. Why did the villain have one when it just came out?

It took a moment too long to realize. “You were the child prodigy, the one who vanished.”

The villain did a mock bow, their muscles relaxing slightly. “In the flesh, although technically, I’m M.I.A.”

“Oh, God. Now you-now you get other heroes out.” The hero almost laughed. “That’s genius, it’s the perfect payback, it’s-”

“What makes you think it’s payback? Maybe I just like helping people.” The villain had a raised eyebrow.

“Oh, oh, gosh. I’m so sorry, I shouldn’t have assumed-”

The villain held up a hand. “It’s a little bit payback.”

A familiar shade of scarlet crept across the hero’s face, and the former prodigy decided they liked that.

“Now this part is the part most of my customers don’t like - waiting. Your decoy will most likely only take two months. In that time, you need to work on your portalling.” The villain made sure to hold the hero in their gaze. “I will contact you when and where to meet and set up the decoy. I already have your information.”

“How do you-”

“Door frame. Like a metal detector, but more precise. If you are registered on any system anywhere, I’ll know you.”

The hero had relief coming off them in waves. Two months, and all they had to do was practice some portals. And do some heroing, but they could manage.

“You know, you interrupt people a lot.” The tone was joking, and the hero was far too busy trying to contain a smile, there was no time for chiding.

“So I’ve been told.” The villain did smile. “Now, about my payment.”

“Right.” For a second, the hero fumbled around in their pockets, before pulling out a wad of cash.

The villain took it, and began counting the bills, their eyes getting wider.

“‘I’m willing to pay extra’ is just part of the code. You know that, don’t you?”

The hero shrugged. “Do you not want it?”

In the blink of an eye, the money was pocketed by the villain. “I didn’t say that. Pleasure doing business with you.”

The hero nodded, and turned on their heel, then stopped suddenly to ask one final question.

“If you know everyone from the door frame, why bother with the measuring ordeal?”

“Gets people to open up, relax a bit.”

Oh. That was sweet.

“You aren’t a bad person, are you?” Asked the hero.

“Hey now, don’t go telling everybody. My scary reputation could be ruined.”

The hero, a ghost of a smile on their lips, left, back up the stairs, through the pizza place.

Two months.

#snippet #short #writing #hero #villain #heroine #villainess #heroes #villains #heroes and villains #just in my drafts so #why not #hero x villain #not really a villain?

[aminiatureworld]

Honesty

Characters: Kaeya, gn!reader

Word Count: 2,830

Warnings: None

Premise: Some habits just turn bad over time, and not matter how much we try they can be terribly difficult to stop.

In which Kaeya keeps to himself.

Author’s Note: This was requested by a lovely anon! I thank you once more, and I hope that this was as you envisioned it. Also didn’t expect this to be so incredibly long but I hope that’s not unwelcome!

Kaeya is one of my favorite characters to write, but I also find him one of the hardest as well. He’s very good at slipping through your grasp, and it can be hard to convey such an outwardly complex and flirtatious character without making him a cardboard cutout. But it’s also incredibly gratifying when you think you’ve done it well. I hope this is one of the times.

Non bulleted pointed version on Ao3

It wasn’t that Kaeya wasn’t used to attention. It was simply that he wasn’t used to your attention.

I mean Kaeya was hardly the most innocent man in Monstadt; almost everyone spoke of the handsome and slightly ill-behaved cavalry captain. Kaeya certainly did nothing to discourage the talk, or the flirting, not when it was so fun. It felt good to be looked at for reasons, well if not positive at least they weren’t in the same league as the notoriety he’d picked up otherwise. Disapproving citizens were certainly better than a disapproving brother, especially since said brother had a habit of parroting Kaeya’s darkest thoughts.

Of course Kaeya wasn’t looking for anything when it came to said flirtations. Not only because the appeal was never there, at least not in any legitimate sense, but because Kaeya secretly felt he was a bit of a burden, something he’d never even admit to himself. And no one wanted a partner with emotional baggage. If there was anything Kaeya was quite sure of it was that. And he hadn’t the time, nor really the ability, to fix all his problems, if he wasn’t permanently broken already. Better to keep away from any firm attachments, one that might ruin the lives of those around him.

This admittedly terrible conclusion was all perfectly fine in theory, but then you’d arrived and it’d all fallen to the wayside.

You were perfection to Kaeya, in more ways than he could count. He loved your smile, as well as the various other expressions you pulled, whether snarky or appalled or excited; he loved the way you laughed, even when you complained it sounded vaguely seal like at some points and like you were dying at others; he loved your every mood and whim, no matter how silly or reckless. He loved when you had a temper and when you showed more restraint than he did, he loved when you acted like a character you’d just read about and he loved when you later got embarrassed by it and begged him to forget it. The list went on and on and on, so many things did he love about you. Most of all he loved that you never seemed in a hurry, not that any of the others had, but the boundaries had shifted quite a bit this time.

So what had begun not so much as flirtation but as awkward friendship blossomed into something more, and Kaeya knew it. Not that there was any proper confirmation, but really was there a need? He told himself that the idea was ridiculous, no need to make things official. Besides, it wasn’t as if Kaeya had changed much at all. Indeed he’d done quite the opposite, determined not to let things shift in the way you two interacted.

Of course he’d excused his actions. After all, though the knight had many contradictory opinions of himself, of his actions, of his past, but they tended towards the negative. He was evil, he was cruel, a shameless opportunist and a failure even in that. Most importantly, in regards to the matter at hand, Kaeya tended to think that he was in no position to enjoy a proper and serious relationship; it wasn’t in him. He’d only bring disaster upon his head and upon the heads of those he loved. How could he let it happen?

That were what he told himself, what again and again he drilled it into his mind. And he ignored the small part of him that told himself it wasn’t any of that, the part which jeered that, if he were altogether truthful, the reason for a lack of meaningful reciprocation ultimately lay in the overwhelming fear he kept buried deep within himself. The fear of telling others about himself. About his actions, his opinions, his morality. The unpolished and deeply irritating bits that even Kaeya couldn’t stand.

But that was buried under too many layers of denial to play into what he was doing, and Kaeya had thoroughly convinced himself that his actions were for the good of everyone, yourself included. So the charade continue, with you saying more and more and Kaeya saying altogether nothing of consequence at all.

“Kaeya, what do you think of me?” You asked one day. It was a summer afternoon, the lazy kind, when all seemed static and half asleep. Kaeya was one of those things, and jolted to full wakefulness, surprised and ill at ease by the sudden question. You didn’t look at all upset, though maybe a bit bashful. The blush that dusted your cheeks and nose was the cutest thing, and if he weren’t so utterly afraid Kaeya might’ve wanted to tease you a bit, and see said blush grow a little bit deeper.

“What do you mean? You’re my fine adventuring friend.” He said, trying to relax once more, hoping the initial jolt of shock hadn’t been evident. It was hard to keep alert at all times around you, especially in what had just been such a relaxing atmosphere. But he had to keep calm and steady, suave as always. Who knows what might happen if not?

“Well I’m glad to hear that,” you began, cadence becoming a little slower, “I’m very glad to hear that. But, well, I was sort of wondering… if it might be a bit… different than that.”

“Is this a sudden confession?” Kaeya asked, tone light and playful.

“No!” You blurted out, gaze dropping. You started tearing at the grass slightly, but the action didn’t worry Kaeya too much. If it wasn’t a confession then it’d be easy enough to sneak out of, and then you two might go back to enjoying the afternoon as usual.

“It’s just…” you continued, staring intently at the ground “it’s just that I want to know. I mean I’m sure it’s obvious how much I care about you, well and truly care about you. You’re my closest friend Kaeya, but you’re also more than that. You’re my confidante, the first person I go to talk to about, well, anything. I said this wasn’t a confession, and it isn’t. But I want to know where we are. And I want you to be honest, what do you think of me?”

You lifted your head up, gaze piercing through Kaeya’s soul. He felt nothing in that moment but terror, the feeling of the ground suddenly giving way below him. What was he to say? What could he say? What did he think of you, the question seemed so simple but Kaeya found he couldn’t answer it, not truthfully. What you meant to him, well you meant almost everything. Kaeya loved you, loved you so much. He wanted to tell you everything about him, wanted to learn everything about you. He wanted to hold you in his arms and listen forever to your voice, to the things you had to say. He wanted to bask in your presence, to drown in it. He loved you, and he knew you loved him too; but it wasn’t that simple. He couldn’t do it, couldn’t tell you what he wanted to say, what you wanted to hear. It was for your own good, and, Kaeya was realizing very quickly, the idea of doing so, of confessing himself, of laying his soul bare, was something so utterly and completely frightening.

“Like I said you’re my dear adventuring friend.” Kaeya managed to get out, hoping there was no streak of falsehood in his voice. Picking up some of the torn up grass he scattered it onto your head, causing a groan of annoyance. Laughing at his childishness Kaeya steered the conversation towards another topic, hoping the former one would never come up again.

It didn’t, but Kaeya still sensed a change. It was gradual enough, indeed it was so gradual he hardly noticed at first. But eventually the change became too great, and Kaeya felt a distinct sinking sensation the first time he’d passed you on the streets on Monstadt and you’d done little more than smile, instead of running up like you usually did to ask him where he was going and tease him about missing work, sure that he was up to no good.

The initial realization having passed a bunch of little things came to the sudden forefront of Kaeya’s mind. Come to think of it you two never met outside of work anymore; gone were the days it seemed when you two would go for a walk after having sandwiches together, both complaining about the others work and wondering when you might ever have a break.

Gone too was the familiarity in some ways. When you two spoke now there was a formality, a distance that seemed to have popped up. You no longer asked Kaeya about his brother, and in return he stopped asking you about your own family, uneasy by the sudden loss of intimacy, and unwilling to be the one to break the barrier.

As the weeks passed by and you grew more and more distant Kaeya grew more and more frantic. He found himself thinking incessantly about you, about what you were doing, where you were going, whether or not you’d ever smile at him the way you used to, if you’d blush again at his teasing. A small piece of him knew that it was his own fault, and knew that it somehow connected back to the conversation you two had had in the summertime. But self-awareness doesn’t always mean change, and Kaeya still refused to do anything about it.

Then he started dreaming about you. He wasn’t sure why, you two saw each other less and less, and there was no reason for him to suddenly start these dreams, but somehow it’d happen. The dreams were mundane, painfully so. They were much like any other dream in content; the only difference being your presence. You were as before in his dreams, as if he’d somehow been able to rewind the clock, but only in his sleep. The two of you did this and that. You saved reckless Pallad, you rode Dvalin with the Traveller, you ran around the Winery, stealing glasses when no one was looking. Always you two were off, doing something completely normal, and always did Kaeya feel such joy that waking up felt rather like torture. He began to dread it, meeting you in his dreams. It felt painful, so very painful, as if he were betraying himself, as if he were betraying you too in some way. He shouldn’t’ve been dreaming of you, and yet he kept right at it, as if his mind were somehow unable to let go.

After three weeks of not seeing you Kaeya relented. He couldn’t go on like this, not one more moment. His work was becoming sloppier and sloppier, and he felt as if he hadn’t slept in years. He’d woken up in the middle of the night, so wretched from the whole situation that he felt like crying out of frustration. In the dark there was no one to pretend to, and he found himself staring at the curtained window, suddenly hit with his utter selfishness. He loved you, he loved you and you loved him, at least you had. And he’d thrown it all away, not out of any kindness or nobility, but out of his own fear, his own inability to be honest for even a moment. It was his fault that this was all happening, and as such he had to make amends.

He found himself at what had been your normal after-work meeting spot, leaning against a squat sort of maple tree. It was the perfect meeting place, far enough from the city to be picturesque, but close enough not to be a trip. Now Kaeya waited, praying to Barbatos that you might, by some miracle, appear.

Evidently the Anemo Archon was in a somewhat favorable mood, that or Kaeya was simply lucky, for he spotted you about fifteen minutes later, walking leisurely towards the tree. You weren’t truly paying attention to your destination, instead glancing in the direction of Cider Lake, expression slightly clouded. Turning your head you stopped dead in your tracks, shaking your head slightly, as if you truly couldn’t believe the sight in front of you.

“I…have something to say.” Kaeya began, not altogether sure what that was. Once he’d come to the conclusion that he was the source of the whole problem it became evident that the only was to solve such a thing was through honesty. But it had been so long since Kaeya had been honest, really truly honest, and he now felt awkward and slightly shaky, as if learning to walk all over again.

“What is it?” Your tone, though surprised, held no hostility in it, instead it seemed vaguely curious. The thought gave Kaeya a bit of strength, and he drew himself up a little more, determined to see this through no matter what.

“I want to apologize for how I’ve treated you. I haven’t… haven’t been honest. I think you realized that, indeed I think you realized it long before I did. But, now that I’ve realized it I want to say I’m so deeply sorry.” He paused for a moment, not sure how to continue on. “Do you remember when you asked me what I thought of you?” He finally asked.

“Of course I do.” You smiled slightly, though it didn’t reach your eyes. “You said I was your friend.”

“Well I was lying.” Kaeya’s voice was blunt, the flirtatious tone that he usually put on nowhere to be found. “In truth you mean so much to me, so much more than I could put into words. You said that you weren’t making a confession, but I am. I like you, no, I love you. You mean more to me than everything, than my past, than my work as a knight, than my shame I carry in regards to my brother. Being around you is like soaking in the sun, or gazing at the moon, and I took it for granted. I took your entire presence for granted, and I understand why you felt the need to distance yourself. Our friendship was built on dishonesty, all because I was afraid. I am afraid still, so very afraid, but I find what I fear more than telling you all of this is never having the opportunity to. You’d don’t have to reciprocate, don’t have to approve of anything I just said. But if there’s any little bit of you that felt as you did this summer I want to apologize to it, and tell you I feel the same.”

The silence was deafening, oppressive. For once Kaeya found he couldn’t keep your gaze; his entire affect, his personality, it was all gone, and what was left was raw and badly kept. Shifting his gaze towards the lake he held his breath and waited for your answer.

He felt your fingers glance his. Snapping his head towards where you were he searched your face for something that might reveal what you were thinking, but you quickly looked at the ground.

“Thank you.” Your voice was no more than a whisper, but to Kaeya it was a lifeline, the fact that he was able to hear your voice once more. “Thank you for being honest.” You slipped your hand into his. “And to answer your unsaid question, I do feel the same way I did when I asked you before. And this too is now a confession, or rather an assent. I love you Kaeya, I’ve never stopped loving you. And though I may still feel a bit hurt by your lack of honesty then, I only ask you this,” you finally moved to look him in the eyes, your gaze misted over by hope and joy and a hint of sorrow, “will you be honest with me now?”

“Until the day I die.” Kaeya breathed out.

“That’s all I needed to hear.” You replied, dropping his hand and flinging your arms around his neck.

Kaeya immediately wrapped his arms around you, burying his face in your neck. “Thank you” he whispered, over and over again. The fear that had once filled his mind was no more, instead he felt as if he were floating, kept tethered to reality only by your embrace. He was relieved, but more so he was happy, so unbelievably happy. You’d given him a chance he’d never give himself; you’d opened your life back up to him, and now you two might never have to be separated again, not truly anyways.

 “Want to know something?” Kaeya asked, tone playful, as you two walked back to Monstadt, hands linked.”

“What?” You asked, slightly curious. Kaeya smiled, before leaning over and giving you a kiss on the cheek.

“I love you.” He whispered against your skin. And he meant it. With his whole heart he meant it.

#thank you so much for your request! #I hope it's rather not too long #I got ahead of myself lol #anyways... yeah! #requested #kaeya #kaeya x reader #gn!reader #scenario #genshin impact #genshin impact fanfiction #my writing