#but then again i believe that fandom still has a hard time grasping his character as a whole

[messiahzzz]

When I came across that "joke" from Tav to Quill and Z'rell's comment (plus Halsin), I had to take a minute to process what happened. Gale might be a bit silly and eccentric but he's the kindest, sweetest and most passionate character in that party. No wonder the poor man has deep insecurities to solve, so many people reduce him to an easy target! Ofc one of the side effects would be overconfidence and ambition as a defense mechanism. He's obv lonely; only Tara and Morena ever loved him for him.

his eccentric nature might be a part of it. he is loquacious, outgoing, and doesn’t see the point in hiding his enthusiasm. he is considered to be the weird one. naturally, wizards in general being seen as somewhat squishy and physically weak might also add to it.

personally, i really don’t like the implications of the (widely considered) autistic-coded character being the one who faces the most ridicule by far by other characters and fans (and larian) alike.

some might disagree with me on that, but i don’t find it funny by any means either. mostly it just makes me feel bad. “he deserves it. cocky, arrogant, hubris-ridden wizard needs to be taken down a peg” like he isn’t… y’know… already at his lowest. it also disregards the fact that much of his bravado is part of his carefully curated Great Wizard of Waterdeep™ persona that he has skillfully adopted to mask his general feeling of being defective. being fiercely proud of your skill and knowledge and being doubtful of having something truly worthwhile to offer are mindsets that can coexist. according to fandom, gale is either secret hubris incarnate that is only waiting to be unleashed upon the world or pure baby that can do no wrong. instead of a character that is just as flawed and traumatized as all the others, but no less deserving of genuine love.

to me, the constant ridicule just reads as further feeding into his deep-rooted insecurities and his belief that he (as gale, the person) isn’t someone who holds inherent worth. it really, really doesn’t sit well with me.

#gale dekarios #gale of waterdeep #bg3 #baldurs gate 3 #but then again i believe that fandom still has a hard time grasping his character as a whole #we always talk about wanting complex and complicated characters that contain multitudes #but once we get them we don’t know what to do with them #and proceed to try our hardest to reduce them to a few select traits #gale is a kind and good-hearted person. that is not up for debate. #anyway gale deserves people around him who respect and cherish him and are genuinely supportive #protect that wizard and shower him in all the adoration. he needs it. #and i get you anon!!! i also really wish we could call out our companions & npcs #my tav would always keep a spray bottle on hand just in case #someone is being mean to gale again? [pssssht pssshhht] u stop that right this instant #on that note i also don’t like the undertone tav has when they have the option to talk about gale to other parties #what’s with the hesitancy and the derisive undercurrent??? #am i supposed to pretend that my tav wouldn’t turn into the personification of the will smith meme whenever they had the option to #talk about their bf/husband???? lies and slander #larian critical #it speaks

[sukifoof]

hii i was talking about this on twitter so i think i will just copy paste it here cuz i’ll probably delete it there at some point <3 twitter frightens me but i love my mutuals here we are all insane about flowey in the same way

 i think saying “you’re the type of friend i wish i always had” is a really important thing for asriel to admit... this whole time asriel has dealt with so much grief and guilt about chara that it separated the actual person chara from the idealized version of them in his head who he has never stopped grieving. its a huge part of his character that hes unable to view them as they were because that’s just how his ptsd and guilt affects him. as someone who went through a similar thing that kind of grief can mess with your head and how you view yourself and the person who’s gone really badly. the pacifist route, for flowey’s character specifically, is a really good example of how grief and ptsd can make you feel disconnected from yourself, everyone around you, and like if only the person you lost was back everything would be perfectly fine again. the fact that he can admit they weren’t perfect and that he made the right decision is a huge character development that we don’t get to see in the no mercy route because he’s still convinced that this idealized version of them birthed from bereavement will make everything okay. similarly to how he believed toriel might have been able to fix him, he wants to believe there’s someone out there that could somehow return him to who he was before being traumatized, but the reality of it is this is just who he is.

his grief and trauma is a huge part of who he is like it is with real people, but it doesn’t have to be all of him. i think the emphasis the fandom puts on whether chara was Good Or Bad completely misses the point that it doesn’t really. matter i guess?? they were a kid people loved and now they’re gone. we're seeing people deal with the grief this brought and we know so little of who they are because there’s also a degree of separation about who they are to the people they loved as well. idk i hope this makes sense i think a lot about how chara is a kid who hated humanity and calls themself a demon. to me that just shows an EXTREMELY traumatized child with self hatred. i don’t know why there was ever this huge moral argument about chara when they’re literally just a kid with issues. they weren’t taught how to deal with how they felt and likely held themself in lower regard compared to the dreemurrs. its the same thing with asriel, he feels responsible for them being gone and his own trauma. he just wants a friend who can teach him to understand his grief or someone who can at least let him view the situation for how it really is

i just think. flowey is so well written but not understood very well by the fandom because the type of thing he’s gone through is kind of hard to grasp. it’s a weird situation that doesn’t have a completely black or white Is He Or Chara At Fault kind of answer. they were children. people are complicated and want someone to blame when something goes wrong and flowey directed that at himself. hes such a fascinating and well written character i love him dearly i hope u guys understand how insane he makes me <3

#undertale #utdr #flowey #asriel #asriel dreemurr #chara dreemurr #chara #utdr analysis

[urlocallesbiab]

thinking about dirk and farah parallels... i think what's similar between them is that the thing that makes each of them special, their powers (holistic detection and one-woman-army skills) are something that they haven't picked for themselves, that was forced upon them from above (dirk is an angel of the universe's will, and farah is her father's daughter), was demanded they cultivate to unreachable perfection to the (dis)pleasure (dissappointment, disgracre) of their father/-figure (try again, svlad; try harder, farah) — but also it is something they reclaim, and accept, and make theirs within the bounds of the agency. dirk can't help who he is but he chose calling himself a detective, and farah can't help who she is but she chose to open a detective agency. dirk finally has people who can keep him company on inevitable adventures, farah finally has people who appreciate her hard work and skill. they do not change their natures, but instead find — build — a space where they can be accepted; celebrated, even. loved.

there's a post by generalized-incompetence, about how todd's character growth goes along the "take control of your life" message of the show, and farah's along the "you can't control everything" one; repentance vs acceptance. and i agree! i think the two of them as dirk's friends represent the two halves that he, as the story's protagonist and thus the embodiment of everything, must try and balance within himself. it's about the complementing influences, inspiration vs assurance; and i think dirk really is a good influence on farah. being around him helps her accept both herself — feel needed, wanted, validated, accomplished, stretch the muscles she's spent her whole life building — and also the world around her. farah is (less now than at the beginning) a control freak, and every misfortune, big or small, she perceived as a personal failure – she's responsible for people she loves, they depend on her, if patrick gets hurt, if lydia gets hurt, it's her fault, her fault, her fault; she must be in full control of the situation! but with dirk she suddenly finds that she cannot. if he is meant to survive, he will be miraculously saved, and if he's meant to come to harm, he will be bizarrely wounded; dirk moves along a path in the sky larger than life, and farah can only hope to grasp at it, not reign it in. the best she can offer is support; the best she can offer is her best, not perfect. if she is to stick by dirk, the wild, godawful, unpredictable, incomprehensible, incredible dirk, she is to accept that she can't control everything. and so she does. it's not an easy change (the time travel was hard to fit into her worldview, and she still struggles — is still on her path), but a necessary one: she is, after all, one of the imperfect, free, wonderful freaks.

that she makes dirk happier is obvious: he is but a fountain of love, and it spills out of him freely with every bob of his head. but it's important to me to remember that he, too, makes farah happy, genuinely and deeply. there are many opinions in this fandom — about as many as there are fans — on who farah is, what does she want, how does she feel about the agency, and what does the future hold for her; i, personally, am a firm believer that she belongs at the agency. she still has to figure herself out, of course, to complete her arc and grow into herself, unbidden by expectations and blooming (and that's a whole another micro-essay unto itself, so let's table it for now); but joining, funding, opening the agency wasn't a rash decision, or a stepping stone, or a burden — it is a place where she can be, is free to be, wants to be (herself). a place she carved out for herself and her people: a freak hub, where she's the second-in-command freak. i think she's as much glad to be there, and instrumental to "there" existing at all, as todd is. in general, i view all three of them as integral, inseparable, experiencing equally intense affection towards each of the others (even though the flavors may vary from romance to queerplatonic bond to friendship (in that order: brotzly, todd&farah, dirk and farah; yes, i am rather predictable)), supporting equally strong and meaningful relationships. the three of them are a little family, and they all love each other very much :3

#dghda #dirk gently's holistic detective agency (tv 2016) #dghda meta #dirk gently #farah black #i need to write more about dirk's and farah's relationship it's So beautiful and important #agency trio #vikarambles #vika's personal dghda tag #the point Might have gotten away from me but i tried my best #anyway dirk & farah ily

[randomrabbidramblings]

Random Phantom Ramble

Ok starting writing this just a couple of hours after the news of Phantom's return.

I wasn't really prepared and I still have some brain fog from the not so great week, and my brain isn't yet in the "Total Chaos" mode, so I'll write my thoughts now.

I think I'm speaking for everyone when I say the reveal was really unexpected. The DLC Is supposed to come out by the end of the year, but I guess at Ubisoft they couldn't help themselves. When they said "late 2023" I immediately tought they'll release it around Christmas, but at this point, I think it will be sooner. Since there are already rumors of a new Nintendo Direct in September, some people speculate they will pull a Luigi's Mansion 3 and the setting will be an haunted hotel, maybe it's going to relaese in late October/November? May be fitting!

Phantom as a main villain is something a lot of people expected since his dedicated trailer back in Kingdom Battle. To think this has a chance to be true is something my brain has not yet fully grasped. The fact that he might show up with Cursa's broken mask is just *chef's kiss*.

Finishing writing this as I'm feeling way better and the announcement is starting to dawn on me. I've been staring at the Instagram post grinning like an idiot for a bit too much, lol.

I know I may sound like a broken record and really biased on this take, but Phantom has been one heck of a character for me. I think he might be the character I had an acitve fixation on for the longest time (maybe on par with GlaDOS and Wheatley from Portal back then). I've always loved hammy, full of themselves, hypocrite villains and Phantom has all that plus a musical number? And he's based on the Phantom of the Opera? A literal theater ghost? A melodramatic, capricious, vain, fancy dressed cartoony theater ghost with a remarkable ego, singing about another character's supposed flaws while not seeing (or not aknowledging) his own? All of this offering plenty of character development to play with in the fandom? Canonically he'll gladly kick Mario's ass if he had legs and in fandom his selfish, vain persona is just the tip of the iceberg? 100/10 fits all my checks for being my favourite.

To think about it now, after the reveal, it makes a lot of sense. The hints, the shoutouts, the cameos, the foreshadowing (the dreams, lol, stil not over the fact that a lot of us dreamed about a supposed return). I didn't have a lot of faith for them to bring him back, at least not in Sparks of Hope, in my mind there was no concrete reason within the lore to do so. I really like how the devs love the character too. Between the cameos and averything else, the reveal really does feel like they're so excited to have gotten that Rabbid on a stage again. Wonder if Phantom willingly came back or he played hard to get again and the devs had to bribe him somehow, lol.

[By the way, if Phantom shows up wearing makeup I'll start to believe the devs listen to their fans (or at least aknowledge our fanarts, lol) as a lot of us has been drawing him with it.]

*A cathartic experience*

#rabbid #rabbids #mario rabbids #mario + rabbids #mario+rabbids #mario rabbids sparks of hope #mario+rabbids sparks of hope #sparks of hope #mario + rabbids sparks of hope #sparks of hope dlc #tom phan #rabbid phantom #phantom of the bwahpera #my rambles

[thecarnivorousmuffinmeta]

What are your thoughts on both fanon interpretations of Dumbledore ("Light Lord Wizarding Saint with 500IQ" alongside "Secretly Evil Puppet Master") and how they compare to canon Dumbledore?

Previous thoughts on Manipulative Dumbledore.

I mean, it's no great secret I'm on the Manipulative Dumbledore side of the house. I'm not as extreme as most, certainly don't follow most of the fanon interpretations, but I do think he's generally up to no good.

But alright, let's get to it.

Light Lord Wizarding Saint with 500IQ

Dumbledore is certainly one of the smarter characters in the series. He's constantly poking fun at other people in ways they don't get, generally has a good grasp on any given thing happening, and just runs circles around Harry in every single conversation they have.

(Though admittedly, some of Dumbledore's 10 step plans are laughably absurd and I can't believe they worked out for him. Let's just say Snape was working overtime.)

But Light Lord Wizarding Saint?

It's pretty bad when fandom has to justify to itself why Dumbledore can still be seen in this manner. We usually get explanations in any given fic on how Dumbledore could leave Harry with the Dursleys (he was shocked! shocked! by the fact that Harry was being abused and had no idea!) How Dumbledore planned for Harry to kill himself in book seven (he absolutely knew Harry would rise from the dead like Jesus and somehow beat Malfoy in a duel and get the Elder Wand that Snape accidentally didn't inherit!) Why Dumbledore placed the philosopher's stone as bait in a school with children and advertised that something was clearly in the basement to the entire school (Hogwarts is the safest place in the world!)

What it comes down to, I think, is the readers who read through and felt much like Harry. Dumbledore was this wise, good, authority figure we trusted. He was like Principal Gandalf! And the idea that he wasn't that, is sort of like setting your childhood dreams on fire.

Even admitting "alright, he made some questionable decisions, but he had no choice!" seems to be hard for this side of the equation. And I think it's a fear that Harry Potter will lose its magic if they look at it that way.

It's much the same in other fandoms.

Much of the Twilight world doesn't want to admit how thoroughly messed up Twilight truly is. Oh, they'll say Edward did bad things, but you see many fix it fics where his behavior is easily fixed with a stern talking to so now he doesn't sneak into her bedroom anymore. Claps for Edward.

MCU fandom will hold Stucky in its hands until hell freezes over, and the Russo brothers rise from the depths yet again with another movie "It's Really Not Stucky: Again". And even then, they won't let go.

It's not something unique to Harry Potter and I'm not shocked to see Dumbledore get this treatment.

Secretly Evil Puppet Master

The trouble with this one is people accuse Dumbledore of ridiculous shit that's too stupid for him to bother with.

No, he has no need to select Harry's friends for him and pay them off with Harry's stolen money. No, he has no need to steal Harry's money under his nose to fund his operations. No, he has no need to secretly brainwash Harry with dark magic to make him into a 'good puppet'. No, he doesn't secretly use dark magic in his basement and was EVIL THE WHOLE TIME!

He doesn't need to do any of that to achieve his goals.

He achieves them just fine in canon without resorting to such measures.

I also think the thing about Dumbledore is that he believes what he says and he believes he is who he says he is. He's driven by a very strong righteousness and a belief that all ends justify the means. He knows Voldemort is bad and must be stopped and therefore he's willing to justify quite a bit to do it.

But he's not hiding some dark persona, nor do I think he derives joy from manipulating others and working as puppet master in the shadows. These are just tools he employs to do what he believes must be done, it's just how he operates, his trouble is that he sees no other way to operate.

#harry potter #harry potter meta #harry potter headcanon #albus dumbledore #anti albus dumbledore #meta #headcanon #opinion

[thesunmeltedthegrayaway]

The Confident One: Preference

A/N: Probably the only post I will be putting out today since it is a holiday lol. Hope you enjoy it!

This is a request! If you would like to make a request take a look at (this post) for all of the characters I am currently writing for.

My Multi-fandom Masterlist

The request is...

Dallas

You two are a dangerous combination.

Like I sincerely believe that it is both of your goals to make each other flustered.

Dallas would never admit it to you but the second you get the flirty look in your eyes he feels like he's done for.

"Don't look into them.. don't do it." He'll think to himself.

"What's wrong Dal?" You'll ask coyly.

He won't even acknowledge you, he'll just stare off in some random direction.

At that point, you'll end moving closer to him, grasping his jawline softly before whispering into his ear.

"You're so cute when you pretend not to get flustered by me."

You could literally feel his face heat up underneath your hand.

But he'd try to deny the effects you have on him.

"Oh, you're not? Then look me in the eyes then."

He'll dart his eyes for a second before looking away again.

"There I looked."

You'd just end up laughing at him.

Dallas is a very flirty, teasing person.

But he met his match when he got together with you.

~~~

Darry

He sometimes wonders how in the hell you two got together.

Because you are complete opposites.

He's pretty stoic and doesn't really get too playful often.

But you're an open book and a pretty blunt one at that.

It's pretty hard to get him to crack when it comes to your teasing but you do succeed in the end.

All he has to do is crack the slightest smile and you'll know you've gotten to him.

"Aw did I make superman blush?"

Will say you didn't despite the fact that his face looks beet red.

But he's a quick recoverer, so enjoy that moment of weakness while you have it.

~~~

Johnny

He is a complete mess around you and you love it.

In all honesty, you won't' even have to say anything to him to get him to stutter and stumble.

All you need is a smirk or stare and he is putty in your hands.

They will be days when he feels like his heart will be beating out of his chest.

One day he showed up at the Curtis's house without his hair greased up.

You had a field day with him.

You'd run your fingers through and be a bit closer to him than in general.

He just sits there partially stunned, he seems calm on the outside.

But on the inside, he is losing it.

"What's wrong?" You'd asked coyly, your hands still entangled in his hair.

He couldn't even formulate a sentence if he tried.

"I- you.... I"

You'd laugh flirtatiously just making him lose it even more.

In all honesty, you could brush past him or hold his hand and he would just get chills or goosebumps immediatly.

Like you'd walk up to him from behind one day and just hug him from behind.

He would straighten up so quickly in your warm embrace.

You wouldn't even say anything, you'd lean your head on his shoulder and stare up at him.

Your face was so close to him that he could feel your breath on his neck.

Before he could recover long enough to ask you what was going on you'd walk away.

"She might end up killin' me one of these days..."

~~~

Ponyboy

Another person who feels like their heart could explode when you tease them.

Cannot function like a normal human being when you're around him.

Like he could be reading to you the most mundane book and you'd just give him a look.

His sentence would stop in its track, he wouldn't even remember what the hell he was reading, to begin with.

Soda makes fun of him all the time once he notices how flustered you make him.

You'll randomly lay your head in his lap and stare up at him.

Your gaze just makes him forget every function he's learned before.

They will be times he's working on his schoolwork or just reading to himself and you'll be like.

"Ugh you're so smart."

And as much as he doesn't want to admit it.

That's one of the things that makes him feel the most flustered.

~~~

Sodapop

It's surprisingly hard to get him to crack.

I see him being very flirty and tease back to you.

Like you two are slightly competitive, you both want the other to crack first.

But he is always the one to crack first.

"You really are movie-star handsome."

"Right back at you."

Steve hates to be around the two of you.

Because you never stop flirting with one another.

Like you'll start gushing and flirting with one another and Steve just stares at you in annoyance.

"I am trying to eat here."

You two are another dangerous combo.

~~~

Steve

In all honesty, he's pretty hard to crack.

You're like a shot of adrenaline rather than nervousness.

You flirt with him?

Well, he's going to go to a drag race as soon as he can.

You get close and touchy with him?

He has the sudden urge to backflip over a car.

Soda has to be a bit of a mediator with him after you get done teasing him.

"You are not climbing onto the roof Steve."

"Wanna bet?"

You make him a lot more reckless than he was before, you're like a big pot of coffee to him.

~~~

Two-bit

Has a comeback to everything you say.

Well, at least when he's sober.

But when he's drunk, let's just say that if you thought he couldn't function before he really can't with you.

"You have the most gorgeous smile." His head would be in your lap, he's giving the dopiest yet loving smile ever.

He would just end up laughing dazily at you.

You'd tease him with a touch of humor and flirtation.

And he just loves it.

But again he wouldn't get too nervous.

But any words he might try to formulate would either end up being a broken joke or a joyful laugh.

People around you might think you both are slightly insane.

But you just bring a lot of joy to one another.

#johnny cade x reader #johnny cade headcanons #dallas winston x reader #dallas winston headcanons #sodapop curtis x reader #sodapop curtis headcanon #ponyboy curtis headcanons #ponyboy curtis x reader #darry curtis x reader #darry curtis headcanons #steve randle x reader #steven randle #two bit matthews x reader

[archived-kin]

words upon the wind

note from kin: i don’t really know how to feel about this one, to be honest - it feels kind of half-baked and messy, but oh well, what can you do?

the basic premise is that, instead of dvalin, it’s you, a dear companion from long ago, that venti finds rampaging through mondstadt after waking up from a long, long sleep

i’m pretty sure adepti are exclusive to liyue, so i guess reader is just the mondstadt equivalent? basically you’re in that grey area between vision-holder and archon - you’re not powerful enough to have received a gnosis and ascend into godhood, but you’re powerful enough to have attained a level of immortality and be able to control the wind to a certain extent!

enjoy!! (or don’t enjoy, it is meant to be angst after all)

fandom: genshin impact

character(s): gn!reader, venti

pairing(s): venti/reader

warning(s): memory loss, general manipulation of one’s actions, brief mention of death, sad venti

genre: oh it is angst time baby (i think so anyway, please let me know if this managed to get you In Your Feels or not)

Where am I?

Your eyes burn, the air whipping around you in harsh gales that tear at your clothes and dig into your skin like blades. Your hands move of their own accord in a pattern that you don’t recognise, and the wind seems to move with them, swirling around you in a vortex that obscures the world from view, until all you can see are blurred lights, blurred lines, blurred green.

Green. There is a boy dressed in green, far below, arms braced above his head, staring at you. His mouth opens and shuts, but you cannot hear anything - only the whistle of the wind.

Who is he? Who are you? Why does the air bend to your will? What is this strange land below you, spreading out in grassy fields to the south and a bustling city to the west?

The boy is shouting now, straining so hard that the force of his own yells almost knocks him over. Something lies abandoned in the grass by his feet - a lyre with broken strings. There is something familiar about the sight, something familiar about him - something that you can’t quite place. His face is twisted, as if in pain. Are you hurting him? You don’t want to hurt him.

“I’ll be back before you know it. Wait for me, promise?”

You don’t know this feeling - you don’t know this anger, this sorrow, this anguish that digs its claws deep into you and threatens to rip you apart. Tears sting at your eyes, but why? For who do you so desperately want to cry for?

The boy stands his ground, even as the wind around you swells in rippling masses and threatens to crush him under its sheer power. You want to shout, to scream, to tell him to run, run far away so that I can’t hurt you, but the only thing that comes out of your mouth is a guttural, inhuman howl of anger as the storm around you swells.

He fumbles with something on his back - a bow, a bow that trembles in his hands as he raises it and prepares to aim. How can he expect to fight the power of a thousand winds with an arrow? He’ll be killed before his arrow reaches its target, thrown back and forth by the very air around him until his limbs grow limp and his eyes lose their light. He knows this, he must know this - so why does he continue to refuse to relent?

He pulls back the string. You look back, expecting to be staring down the shaft of an arrow, but he isn’t aiming at your head. His face is scrunched in concentration, feet firmly anchored to the ground - and he is deliberately and determinedly pointing his arrow down at your hip. You don’t understand y our wind can easily snap any arrow of his in half, so why waste them on trying to slow you down? Why not go straight for the kill?

You don’t know why, but something tells you that he doesn’t want to kill you. He isn’t aiming an arrow in hopes of eradicating a target. You don’t how you know this, but somehow, against all odds, you’re willing to believe that this boy you do not know would never seek to harm you.

Perhaps that is why you do not intervene when he looses his arrow. Perhaps that is why you do not interrupt its path even as it sails forward, sharp and true. Perhaps that is why, even as the arrow strikes its target and the sound of something shattering rings in your ears, you do not lift even a finger to fight back.

You look down. Something purple and alien is crumbling from your hip, dissolving in the wind as it falls away. Quite suddenly, the wind calms, and you drop to the ground.

The boy stands in shocked silence for a moment, as if he can’t quite believe that his plan actually worked. Then he moves again, running to you, leaving both his bow and the broken lyre behind.

“Stay right there!” You warn as he reaches out a hand, jumping back into a defensive stance. “Don’t touch me!”

He pulls back, and an strange expression of hurt flashes briefly across his face. “But... it’s me. Surely I haven’t slept so long that you’ve forgotten me?”

You ignore the sharp tug in your chest at the sound of his voice, instead narrowing your eyes and glaring at him. The wind continues to swirl around the two of you, tossing the ends of his braided hair about in an almost playful way.

“I don’t know who you are or what you’re talking about,” You growl in reply. “What are you doing here?”

He’s silent for a long while before he replies. “I’m here... to free you.”

“Free me?” You scoff. “What on earth would you be freeing me from? I control the very wind! How much freer can I be?”

His eyes are sad - so sad that you can barely stand to look at them. “You haven’t been free in a long time, [Name]. Please… all I want is to help you.”

The silence would be suffocating if not for the breeze rustling the leaves of the nearby trees. You refuse to meet the boy’s gaze. You speak again, but your voice is softer… weaker. “What is there to help?”

Against all best decisions, he chooses to move closer, reaching forward and grasping your right hand. For some reason that you can’t quite fathom, you let him.

“This destruction, this rage… none of this is you. You’re no Stormterror, you never have been. You... you were always just my Starseeker.”

“Who are you to tell me who I am?” You shoot back in reply. You want to pull your hand from his, to push him away and scorn him, but somehow you can’t quite bring yourself to. “I don’t know who this Starseeker you speak of is, but they aren’t me, and I most certainly am not yours.”

“Then who are you?” He asks, and you find yourself at a loss for an answer. “Who are you, if not Starseeker? Why are you attacking this land, if not because of the Abyss Order’s control?”

“I am controlled by no one,” You snap, but there is no real bite in your tone. You raise a hand to your temple, gritting your teeth.

“How many gaps are there in your memory?” He presses further, his voice increasing in intensity and desperation with every word. His grip around your hand is so tight that it almost bursts. “Do you remember how you got here? Do you remember why you’re doing this? Do you remember how your abilities came to be, how you were even created?”

“I…” You pull back, and he releases your hand, gazing at you imploringly as you turn away. “I don’t…”

“They must have manipulated your memories, stolen them even,” His voice breaks slightly, and he rubs furiously at his eyes with one sleeve as he continues, “Anything to keep you under their control, to rip away the person that you were to leave only a weapon for them to use… but please… you have to try to remember!”

“What is there to remember?!” You finally turn to look at him, and your eyes blaze so brightly that he freezes in place. “This is all I’ve known, and as far as I’m concerned, it is all that I want to know. I will let you live, but I don’t want to see your face again.”

“No—!” He reaches for your hand again, but you push him away with ease, and he lands roughly in the grass. “Please, wait!”

You only shake your head in response and turn to leave, the air around you beginning to stir in preparation to lift you. But then the boy cries out once more, and you pause for just long enough for him to leap to his feet and throw himself at you once more - and in one final, reckless movement, he rips the flower from his hat and presses it into your hands.

“The Cecilias, [Name],” he says desperately, closing your fingers around the flower’s delicate petals. “Don’t you remember the Cecilias?”

“The… Cecilias…” You stare at the innocent flower sitting in your palm for a long moment. Something suddenly tugs hard at your chest, and you inhale sharply, almost crushing the flower in your fist. The boy catches you as you stumble forward, and two of you sink to the ground in tandem.

“I brought you to Starsnatch Cliff,” He begins to speak so quickly that the words seem to blur together. It feels as if he wants to say so much more than what he can. “We went to Starsnatch Cliff together, and we sat and watched the sunset, and we talked all night, until the sun came up again. You remember the stars, don’t you?”

“Stars...?” You repeat. The boy gazes at you hopefully, nodding, and, before you realise it, you’re lifting a hand to cup his cheek.

He reaches up and softly places his own hand over yours. He’s trembling, but he smiles nevertheless - he smiles for you, even though you don’t know him, can’t know him. How many memories have you lost? And what is his place in them?

“You were still so young back then,” He murmurs, eyes distant as if reminiscing something that has long since passed. “You didn’t know what stars were. That night, when we sat together beneath the night sky, I sang you a song. Do you remember how it went?”

“Star…” Your words come of their own accord, unfocused and dreamy. “Fly me to the stars in the sky…”

Something deep inside you seems to stir at the way that his eyes soften. There is something so achingly familiar about their colour, somewhere between blue and green, like the ripples out on the open sea where there is no land to disturb its waves, like the vast emptiness of the sky that goes on for longer than you can remember and longer than you will live to see, like the quiet rustle of the trees in a peaceful evening breeze.

“It was our song,” He murmurs, and his eyes slowly fall shut. “I never sang it for anyone else, and I never will.”

You stiffen.

“Did you like it?” The boy asks, his eyes bright against the dark sky behind him as the final notes of his song fade into the night.

“I… think I did,” You reply, unsure. You press your hand to your chest, and your heart thumps loudly against it.

“Come on, no need to sound so unenthusiastic!” He sets down his lyre, leaning forward, so close to you that you can see every flyaway lock of hair scattered messily about his face. “I wrote this song just for you. It’s all yours.”

You ponder over his words for a while. “...but it’s your song.”

“No, no, I’m just the one who sang it,” He shakes his head. He pauses and thinks for a moment, then continues, “And wrote it. And composed it. And named it.”

He pauses again, his face scrunching up slightly. Finally, he decides, “You know what, we’ll share it! It’ll be our song. Ours only. I won’t sing it for anyone else, and I never will. How does that sound?”

Everything is coming back now, bursting the banks and submerging you in its endless flow. You remember nights spent beneath an inky sky filled with stars, you remember the ring of laughter around a forest clearing, you remember hours spent riding a breeze above a city of flickering lights. You remember the rush of excitement as you plummeted from the sky to a rippling lake below, only for a pair of hands to dip down and catch you before you could break the surface. You remember arms wrapped around your shoulders in an warm embrace, spinning the two of you through the air until sky and land became one, until you couldn’t tell where you ended and they began. And the boy in front of you—

You know the curve of his smile and the dip of his frown. You know the way that his hair falls around his face in messy waves. You know the way that he laughs, head thrown back as if expressing his mirth to the very heavens above. You know the quiet melody of his voice, soothing you to sleep when the sea is too deep and the storms too strong. You know this boy!

“Barbatos...?” You whisper.

His eyes fly open. For a single, frozen second, the two of you stare at each other, one in disbelieving wonder and one in quiet realisation.

Then, before you know it, you’re toppling backwards. The boy throws his arms around your neck and hugs you tight, burying his face into the nape of your neck as he sobs, and the only thing you can distinguish among his muffled whimpers is your name, repeated like a mantra or a spell, as if you might disappear at any moment and leave him all alone once more.

Venti holds you close and cries. He cries for the memories that you were forced to forget, for the destruction that you were forced to wreak, for the people that you were forced to forsake. He cries because the centuries that the two of you have lost can never truly be recovered, because even though you are here with him, you are still so lost and the years have been so long and he doesn’t know i how to go on from here. You slowly shift and return his embrace, and he can’t help but sink into your touch, like a stone disappearing under the surface of a river.

It will take time to heal. Wounds as old as yours and his do not stop hurting easily, after all. But, as Venti burrows closer to you still, selfishly revelling in the feeling of your arms around him, he listens to the quiet hum of the breeze around him, and he allows himself to be hopeful.

He won’t be afraid of the storms on the horizon anymore. After all, it was those very winds that brought you back to him.

#genshin impact #genshin impact imagines #genshin venti #venti x reader #genshin impact x reader #angst #i wrote this all in one sitting in the tiny hours of the morning and honestly you can probably tell #unedited #i have a full length fic in the works that i should probably be doing some work on but no it's sad venti hours instead #feel like there should be more tags but i don't know what tags

[stxleslyds]

MY TOUGHTS ON THE END OF RED HOOD BY CHIP ZDARSKY.

Dishonour! Dishonour on you, dishonour on your cow! 

Well Jason Nation, it happened again, fanon wins over canon. The amount of bullshit that DC made Zdarsky write in this issue is insane, I have never seen this many fanfiction tropes shoved in a single issue in my life.

This book has been a constant insult to Jason’s character and his Red Hood “persona” since the very first issue but I never thought it would end this badly. It’s incredibly sad.

I will go ahead and say it, this tumblr and this post is not “Batfamily” friendly and it definitely isn’t fanon friendly when it comes to Jason Todd.

Fanon is destroying canon for Jason Todd. I am sorry but that’s how I see it, fanon doesn’t belong in canon, I would never get tired of saying that. But here is the thing, DC latches on to Jason’s fanon version because it fits their narrative of “the Batman is all that is right and all must follow his rules or they shall disappear”.

DC has been dying to make Jason bland and flavourless just like Batman. And now here it finally is.

Let’s be honest the story in this book, the new drug, Cheer, Tyler and his mom, none of that shaped this story, none of those things were the support beams for it. It was all about this never ending “daddy issues” thing that DC pretends is going on between Jason and Bruce.

It was all about those two fighting because they “think differently” so in the end they can push Jason towards the “no killing rule” being also the Red Hood’s modus operandi.

Its utter bullshit.

From the moment that Jason had to put a bat suit on I knew that this was going to be a mess. Luckily like I predicted they didn’t make a big deal out of him wearing it but the “Jason admires Batman” feeling was very present in the issue.

I will not talk about how easy it was for that one thug to land a punch on Jason while he was distracted and I will also not talk about Jason being a dumbass for not securing his dumb mask better when he knew the fight will involve gases. I will not talk about it.

Anyway, let’s talk about the Cheer Gas induced illusion, shall we?

In Jason’s illusion he finds Bruce at the manor looking at the picture of Joker’s death (?) and even though that is strange what Bruce says next is even weirder, he says this: “I did it. He was the last one, but I did it…Joker is dead. I am done.”

Now what the hell was that? This is Jason’s illusion, and by the looks of it in his illusion Bruce has killed every baddie in Gotham and left the Joker for last? Am I reading that right? Is this this a joke?

I understand that this is an illusion so the gas is making “real” things that Jason probably doesn’t know he wants, like wanting Bruce to go on a killing spree, which Jason never wanted because he said it himself, do you guys remember the iconic “I’m not talking about killing Cobblepot and Scarecrow or Clayface. Not Riddler or Dent…I’m talking about HIM. Just him.” Because I remember and it’s so important to Jason’s character, Jason never wanted Bruce to go on a killing spree, he wanted Bruce to kill the clown who had killed him when he was only fifteen. Is that so hard to remember DC?

And then it gets worse! Since WHEN has Jason wanted a perfect family life with the people that he has tried to kill, harm or looked down to? Why is “being with a bunch of people who NEVER get together for anything other than “help” the Bat in a fight against a fucking clown” the idea of happiness to Jason? Has this man ever interacted with any of these people in a positive way without the intrusion of a Batman/Robin event in the way? I will give you the answer, it’s no, the answer is no.

Jason Todd doesn’t care for your “Batfamily” bullshit DC, why would it matter to him? Because he was Robin? He was killed by the Joker when he was Robin, and he was killed because the man in charge of him didn’t pay enough attention! Jason Todd who was written as Dick Grayson’s number one hater for so long (and fandom loves that) is now having an illusion where he enjoys happy times with him along the others? Cass and Stephanie? What? Am I missing something, is this actually AO3, is this fanfiction?

I think Zdarsky got confused, this illusion is what would happen if Jason were dosed with fear gas. That must be it, I solved it everyone! Zdarsky just got confused by his own writing!

I wish.

Let’s go back to the sad reality, Jason has a moment in which he actually puts all his training in motion and shakes of the gas’s grasp on him. He does that but he is grabbed by so many people (who are this people?) and he is unarmed and I believe that’s the only reason why Cheer is still alive after saying that he has someone in Tyler’s mom’s hospital room ready to kill her if he doesn’t join him.

(If this were the real Jason, Cheer would have dropped dead instantly.)

But this is not the real Jason and this is not a *real* comic, it’s fanfiction! So just like that time in Batman #100 when Dick was fighting alone as Nightwing (for the first time since his “family” left him alone after losing his memories) the rest of the “family” shows up to fight Cheer and four random thugs.

Yep, its like the MCU had considered having Cap say “Avengers Assemble” when they were fighting a couple of robots instead of Thanos.

What a mess.

Also having Jason say, in real life (not illusion world), “You know what happiness is? It’s knowing that others have your back.” about this group of people is the perfect recipe for a big OOC moment for absolutely everyone. I cannot believe they have dragged Jason back to this awful concept and that they have sank him so low. It’s quite honestly, disgusting.

But the horrors don’t end there, we have a wonderful moment after Jason gives Batman the antidote, Jason stops Batman from punching the living shit out of Cheer. Because I am not stupid. There is no way in the world that you can convince me that Jason just stopped Batman from killing Cheer.

How incredibly delusional do you have to be to write Batman finally killing someone and that someone being Cheer, a guy that was introduced to comics two months ago?

Yes, later its said that between the gas and the antidote Bruce was a little too crazy and couldn’t help himself BUT I call bullshit once more, because Bruce has gone completely bat-shit-crazy on people before! I remember two recent instances in which that happened. Batman #57 in which Bruce beats the living shit out of KGBeast after he shot Dick. And the other one is Batman beating up Jason more brutally than he ever beat up Joker in RHatO #25.

DC cannot fuck with me. I might has bought this digital comic for 8 dollars but I am not buying that bullshit.

ALSO, there was no need for Zdarsky to do Jason as dirty as he did him when he made him say: “If you are going to come down from mount judgement to MY level for once… he’s not the guy to do it for.”

Zdarsky, why did you write a Red Hood story when you hate Red Hood? Couldn’t you have just told DC that you wanted to write a love letter to Batman? Once again, I am reading a Red Hood story for RED HOOD content not Batman content. Is it really that hard? I bet that if Zdarsky had asked DC to let him write a Batman story they would have said yes, there are like 20 Batman stories, they wouldn’t say no to one more!

Can you tell I am mad? And salty?

This post is so long and so full of anger, I am truly sorry for that but I have to write these feelings down or I would explode. And I am not even done, our suffering, Jason Nation, continues.

But first a little break from the pain, Tyler. Thank you after all the pain this book has given me Tyler is back and just like I predicted his mom is fine and he will stay with her, they both have been given a place and money to rebuild their life (not given by Jason nor Dick but I was close enough). The only happy ending that Tyler could have, he had and I am thankful for that, we even got a little adorable moment between the Red Hood and the Blue Hood.

I am weak for these little glimpses of a good Jason take in the middle of an incredibly awful/OOC story. And just to live in my own fantasy world I will headcanon that Jason promised himself to keep an eye out for Tyler and his mom. He would have wanted to know about their life and that they are still out of trouble.

Jason is a good man, don’t you forget that DC, I don’t care how much you twist it. Jason killing Tyler’s dad wasn’t a horrible act, it was fair game. That man was a horrible person, he drugged his child and made his wife (?) almost overdose. You never gave context as to why that man was working as a drug dealer but you told us those things so Jason should never feel like he did something wrong. As far as we know, Tyler and his mom are better off without him.

Having said that, lets go back to the pain of what is reading a Red Hood story.

“I’m giving up the guns.”

You know what, fine, as long as DC doesn’t pull another “I will stop being Red Hood for you Barbara” I will be fine. He can kill people with other things, he used to have the all-blades, he had normal swords and he had crowbars.

I will sacrifice Jason looking hot as hell when he pulls out his guns just to keep him as the Red Hood, all DC has to do is not give him that stupid… bat… symbol… oh no…. oh my god I can feel it… that thing, that horrible thing is making a comeback! NO!

Jason and Bruce’s talk is basic and it doesn’t do anything for anyone, in the end saying that Jason isn’t changing his ways for Bruce but that he is doing it for himself is more of the same. We know he is doing it for Bruce and we know DC is doing it because they cannot handle good, complex and interesting characters. We know that and sadly we have to live with it.

About Bruce’s illusion, well, Bruce has said that he wanted to kill the clown for a very long time and in the King run it was basically said that if Bruce were to be happy then the idea of Batman would die.

Listen, between me and you, sometimes I think that the Joker isn’t that big of a problem for Gotham as a whole, that clown has beef with the Bat and no one else. If Bruce has killed the Joker Jason would have been happy with Bruce all those years ago but killing the Joker wouldn’t make Gotham a safe place and any of his kids happier.

Bruce needs to care for his children, but he won’t do that, he has Dick for that. Taking care and raising Damian? No, thank you, I will not do that. Giving a shit about my son who lost all his memories and is alone? No thank you, I won’t do that and then I will lie about having watched him over. Tim? Oh, never heard of him, sorry.

The last page of this story is the one of Jason arriving home and finding a new suit that Bruce gave him with the bat symbol on it. That symbol that he had ripped off of Jason’s beat up body back in RHatO #25 (nope, I am not letting that one go).

Oh, and Bruce leaving that suit in Jason’s home gives me the same exact vibes as the time that Bruce was like “Long overdue. This is where you belong. As one of us. One of the family” in Nightwing #74 a second after Dick had regained his memories.

I don’t know why but they make him sound incredibly cold and like these people are just his pawns that he needs to rope back in every time they get away from him. It’s very disturbing.

Anyway, that’s all from me, I obviously LOVED this book, best Jason Todd/Red Hood characterisation ever! 11/10 would recommend to everyone including my enemies!

🙃

#jason todd #Jason Todd #red hood #Red Hood #batman urban legends #urban legends #urban legends red hood #red hood and the outlaws #red hood outlaw #dc comics

[tangledinmdzs]

HIII I LOVE YOUR WRITING SM IT'S SO GOOD😭😭 literally a blessing from the gods to this fandom 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

If you're doing requests rn can you do something with Jin Ling, Sizhui , Xiao Xingchen, and/or Xue Yang (sorry if that's too many characters, just pick whoever you want to do this for lol) where their s/o has to attend some important cultivation meeting, but the problem is s/o has a bunch of hickeys and marks all over their neck and other visible parts of the body from the night before (doesn't have to be sex, maybe just a kiss that got a little too passionate?) before that can't be covered up and they're kind of panicking about it?

aha hi anon!

i’m so glad that you’ve been liking the pieces! and you’re much too kind! thank you so much!

i can definitely give this a try; hope you all enjoy, as always

cheers to your request~

.･:*:･ﾟ’✫,’✫’ﾟ･:*:･˙

Jin Ling

you sigh, put your hair up

put your hair down

put your hair up

and then down again

but the darkish red bites along your neck are as clear as day, no matter what way you do your hair

you’re more than embarrassed, as today was supposed to be your big introduction and announcement to all of the cultivation world as the fiancee to the Jin Lanling sect leader

but said sect leader

may have had too much fun talking with you last night

you let out an annoyed huff, too busy working around the different styles of hair that can cover your open neckline to notice your fiance enter the bedchambers

only when soft hands part your long hair from the back of your head and lay them over your shoulders do you notice that you are no longer alone

“i can’t believe you,” you mumble out to Jin Ling only to continue to pout when he lets out an amused laugh

“well, no better way to announce our marriage, right?” Jin Ling teases and you roll your eyes, turning around to glare at him in return

but Jin Ling is unintimidated, even going so far as to lean in to steal an extra kiss

but you put a hand over his mouth, leaning in as close as you can 

(but never enough)

you place the gentlest, most teasing, kiss on the tip of his nose

and turn away to leave, your hair parted by his hands

Lan Sizhui

the hands that are currently wrapped around you are warm, skin only separated by your inner robes

“how am i supposed to change with you like this, hmm? A-Yuan?” you ask gently,

you feel the smallest press of lips at the nape of your neck, a response that lingers and then moves up to all the ticklish spots that Sizhui had always known well

it’s an enticing predicament that you are in, but your meeting with his fathers, Hanguang-Jun and the Yiling Patriach give you enough of a mind to wiggle of out of his grasp, lest he continue like he did last night with his heated kisses on your body

“hey, naughty boy, don’t add any more,” you tell Sizhui, turning in his hold to stare at him,

when you meet eyes with him, he doesn’t seem too convinced to listen to your words

you pout at him

“i’m already embarrassed enough as it is...meeting your fathers like this” you admit 

and you see the way that his eyes lighten with a softness that only you could cause in them

“you know, you make it really hard not to,” Sizhui admits, and sometimes the words that he uses with you make you breathless

you blink at him, 

“well you’ve got to try, don’t you?” you tell him

and Sizhui feels winded by the wide doe eyes that you always use to stare at him

he takes in a small breath, leans in to press a long reminiscing kiss against your lips 

when he leaves your lips, slowly, longingly,

he feels that that should be enough to sate him

for now

Xiao Xingchen

“Daozhang,” you say, warningly

the man that answers to that only huffs a small laugh, though he still stands immensely close to you as you’re dressing yourself for the discussion conference meeting waiting for you just outside the wooden door

you let out a light disbelieving laugh as your eyes hover the red and pinkish hues at the bottom of your neck

who would have thought that some one as “bright as the moon with the gentleness of a breeze” was capable of well

whatever happened to your entire neck and shoulders

anyways

when you look at yourself in the mirror, you catch Xiao Xingchen’s eyes linger on the neckline of your robes

you let out a little breath at him then, meeting eyes with him in the mirror

you watch him as he reaches a strong arm around your shoulder, moving your robes just a slightest bit higher, covering the pinkish tint of your skin as best as he can 

his gentleness in moments like this, surprise you, considering the way that you both were last night (lmaooooo)

but with the way that his hand smooths your robes, fixes the wrinkles and brushes off the non-existent dust from your shoulders

it brings a small smile to your face, a shy look despite how well you both know each other

from behind you Xingchen returns your smile,

feeling the butterflies for each other all over again

Xue Yang

you turn your neck to the side, staring at the colors littered all across your skin, the different shades and hues

your hands linger slightly, still careful of the gingerness that you feel

if you turn your neck a certain way, you can still feel the sting and heat of the bites against each inch of your skin... 

“pretty?” a deep voice interrupts your thoughts

you startle slightly at the close proximity of Xue Yang’s lips against the shell of your ear

once you regain yourself, you let out a huff as you turn to look at him, an annoyed eyebrow raised at him,

“what will the other cultivators think when i go to the conference later?” you ask, not necessarily to him but more so a thought to yourself,

“that you have a very dedicated lover,” Xue Yang answers anyways and you take in a deep breath and turn to meet eyes with him

catch that annoying, infuriatingly handsome way that he has with his devious smile

“my lover might very well cost me a fine for public indecency,” you tell him bluntly and that gets a very unattractive snort out of Xue Yang in response,

“then don’t be indecent in public, just stay here with me,” Xue Yang persuades, and you’re angry at yourself that it’s kind of working

but you have a conference to attend

a time and place to be

a name to clear

when you share a look at him, you lean in for one final kiss, one that is long and leaves your breathless

but gives you all the strength that you need to depart

#mdzs #mdzs character headcanons #mdzs reader inserts #mdzs imagine request #mdzs scenario request #mdzs reaction request #mdzs reader insert #mdzs request #mdzs request list #mdzs open request #mdzs open asks #mdzs xue yang x reader #mdzs xiao xingchen x reader #mdzs jin ling x reader #mdzs sizhui x reader #mdzs lan sizhui x reader #lan sizhui x reader #jin ling x reader #xue yang x reader #mdzs xxc x reader #xxc x reader #mdzs boyfriend au #mdzs au #the untamed x reader #cql x reader #tangledwriting

[felikatze]

give me the a brainworms i am deeply invested in this man

(0) (2) (3) (4)

okay first of all you asked for this. second of all if i am a little off track from the game that is explained by me just building thoughts like building blocks without looking back. third i was supposed to be studying for an exam but this counts as practice right? it's character analysis anyway lmao.

buckle the fuck up, my dearest anon, because I have sub headings.

1. A as the Player Character

Let me begin with why I am obsessed with this horrid little guy in the first place: he's a silent protagonist. I am always obsessed with protagonists. It's a law of nature. I love taking hollow characters and dissecting them for scraps. It's a long standing practice of mine.

Being a silent protagonist, A, as X, does not have a set personality. However, there are patterns. Firstly, as any semi-silent protagonist, A is a reactive character. He does not start incidents, he only responds to situations, presented by the Sephirah, as they arise. He does not actively seek out new information, merely going about the routine of expanding departments, but expresses curiosity when information is presented to him.

I'm aware fandom likes to characterize X and A differently, likely because they are initially presented as different characters. I, on the other hand, would like to pose the theory that they are more similar than expected.

I believe that A is also a reactive character, rather than active. Despite the fandom wiki describing him as stubborn, the goal A pursues with such fervor, the completion of the Seed of Light, is not actually a goal he set for himself. Carmen is the one who set this goal for him by leaving him her legacy.

Throughout the backstory we get relating to the Cogito Project, A is Carmen's assistant, whereas Carmen is the driving researcher. This is how many of the City's inhabitants seem to be; going with the flow of goals set for them by superiors. Yes I will get into his attachment to Carmen later.

The above is not to say A isn't stubborn. Once he has accepted a goal as his own, he will pursue it at all costs, as is obvious from any and all flashbacks leading to horrible deaths. But the point isn't his pursuit of the goal, but where that goal comes from. Even Lobcorp itself supports this, despite what Hokma may say; A as X follows the "simple" task of managing the Corp's day to day activities, and executes any mission given to him by the Sephirah. He outranks them, and doesn't actually need to do their missions, but does so anyway. Players are driven by the reward offered by those missions, of course, and A might be the same in that regard. Nonetheless, at no point in gameplay do you do anything somebody else hasn't told you to.

The overarching narrative of the Script would be the most obvious example. Every single person in the game follows the script, whether they know it or not.

Lastly on this note, a phrase we hear attributed to A, "Machines must behave as machines." Now, Angela may be attached to this phrase because it bears significance to herself as a machine, and informs most of A's unjust treatmeant of her. However, what if it doesn't just apply to machines? The phrase reads as such, "Everyone must act according to their own role."

2. A, Carmen, and the disease of the mind

So, A will at any cost pursue goals Carmen set for him. Question is, why? The obvious answer would be saying he's in love with her, which like, true. But also, how did Carmen come to be so precious to him?

Let us return to the comparison, "This is how many of the City's inhabitants seem to be." We don't really know why exactly most characters joined Carmen, excluding mainly Daniel and Benjamin. But this does not mean we can't have theories.

Carmen's ideal was curing the "disease of the mind." What is the disease? Complete hopelessness. The inability to form aspirations and dreams, to think of a better future. A is a very reactive character who does not set goals for himself. Therefore, I personally conclude, that initially, Carmen's ideology resonated with him because he could identify with the disease.

This is the point where I start rewatching Lobcorp story clips. Dear god.

So, by briefly binging day 27 onward, I've come up with lines that very much support this lil theory of mine:

First, from Carmen, a description of the disease, "People lock away their own potential."

Second, a line from Angela, after the memory synchronization, "You've locked yourself in this prison without bars."

Carmen describes A as humble, and Benjamin thinks he is warm. If I suppose A was one of the diseased initially, Carmen would be the catalyst for this change. Carmen was someone with big aspirations, with plans to heal what is wrong with the City, and it gave him hope. He was one of the diseased, but through time with Carmen, with that relentless optimistic spirit, he may have been cured, for a time. It's not a stretch to say that she was his light.

But lor shows us what happens when the seed of light sprouts wrong, doesn't it? It distorts. A grasped hope for the first time and then it is ruthlessly crushed. Carmen was everything. Yes, A is described as a jack-of-all-trades, as a genius in all pursuits he puts his mind to, but what does that matter in the face of someone who can unite people? Who can give them hope of a better world? Who can inspire them to actually use the talents they have?

And what kind of pressure is it to put the legacy of a messiah in the hands of the diseased?

3. A and the Perception Filter: A is weak to White damage

No, I am serious about that. He's extremely weak mentally. Obviously death of a loved one is a changing experience for absolutely anybody, but Carmen's death destroyed him.

Not only did he refuse to confide this grief to anyone and bottled it up, now everybody looked to him to lead the project, but he just isn't Carmen. He isn't an ambitious person, he doesn't have the same optimism, he can't bring people together, but people expected him to, and he failed. Hard.

While he was without a doubt talented in science, he was also just an average guy.

After her death, A grew to hate humans. He lost trust in them. He refused to confide in anyone, and be confided in by anyone. Thus, the team fell apart.

In both lobcorp and lor, we get interesting tidbits about precations taken to protect the manager.

Firstly, Lobcorp's perception filter. The cartoony art-style of the game is a result of the game being in first person. Through the eyes of the manager, everything is cartoony!

This is a measure undertaken to specifically protect the manager's psyche. Angela tells us that, before it was deployed, the manager would frequently go insane, one notable incident including the manager trying to hang himself. When we first hear this, the previous managers and X are still separate in our minds. However, they're all A! A went insane multiple times without it.

This is understandable, considering that employees also frequently go insane and try to kill both themselves and others. But they're there in action, confronting the Abnormalities directly. Just watching them made the manager go mad. They could not handle the responsibility for the employees' deaths.

In lor, Angela explains why she picked the Rabbit Team from R Corp as their main contractor instead of any other team. One team was simply too big for L Corp's narrow hallways, and the other team... dealt in psychic damage. It was simply too big of a risk for the manager. But the manager is always secure behind the cameras. Would that teams methods just be that brutal visually, or would their attacks have reached the manager?

Combined with his immense grief at all of his friends and coworkers dying in part because of him, A cannot bear to look at death.

4. A's greatest flaw: Avoidance

A common thread during Core Meltdown flashbacks: A refuses to look at suffering. He just can't. Whether it be looking away from Elijah writhing on the floor or hanging up on Daniel's panicked report of death.

This is actually the thing Angela takes the biggest issue with, and what hurt her most. A would never look at her, acknowledge her, and she did not understand why. But I think A did not refuse to look at her out of maliciousness. Rather, it was out of grief over Carmen. He could not look at her without being reminded of what he lost.

Angela's creation came about because A wanted someone to guide him, someone like Carmen. He threw himself into the project to the point it made Benjamin happy that A was passionate about anything again. But as soon as the project he distracted himself with is complete, he is filled with regret. Carmen cannot be replicated, and he breaks again.

Furthermore, tying this back to my first point about A being a reactive person, we see Angela take charge over A. She's the one recruiting employees and leading the business. It was likely a relief for him to be able to step down from the leading position.

But avoiding it made everything worse. He did not act when he saw Elijah's unchecked ambition, he did not act beyond a simple check at Gabriel's decay, he gave Giovanni the same hope he clung to to no avail, et cetera et cetera.

Avoiding his problems is making them worse and sending everything down the drain (including his psyche), so he deals with it the only way he knows how, avoiding them more!

Biggest example of A's big avoidance problem as his psyche crumbles: the memory wipe. A, in perhaps his one singular moment of acknowledging his emotions, recognizes that he is incapable of fulfilling the Script in his current state. His grief is just too much.

By erasing his own memory, he could start fresh without his grief, because he might've really killed himself otherwise. His suffering became bigger and bigger, and he coped by avoiding it.

The memory wipe allowed him to distangle his problems. Through his interactions with the Sephirah (which I will not individually detail for the sake of my sanity and because I dumped all this on a friend on discord already), he can deal with and actually process his issues one at a time.

As the motto describes, only by facing the fear can he build the future. Only by finally facing his grief and acknowleding it, seeing that the past cannot be changed and he has no choice to move forward, can he actually do so.

5. The Sephirah as ghosts

Lobotomy Corporation feels like a ghost story. I've touched upon this in my previous A post.

As you reach the Corp's lower levels, there are less Sephirah. First there are four. They act like normal employees, and do not breach into the story's underbelly until you reach their core supressions and the facade breaks. Second, counting Tiphereth as one, there are three. They still go about their duties, but they know what they are. Third, there are two, and the facade is gone. They know what they are, and they will tell you about the sins of the past.

And finally, you reach Keter, and there is only one.

This gradual decay of the facade is what really gets to me. I said that by interacting with the Sephirah, A deals with his issues one by one, but that's what the Sephirah are, in this case. Representations.

The people the Sephirah used to be are dead, and the Sephirah are their ghosts. The core supression involve putting these ghosts to rest. Doesn't it match the progression of a typical ghost story? Find the ghost, find what they used to be, and help them move on.

So, if everyone is a ghost, then A is alone.

But, behind the scenes, the Sephirah are still there. They are still people, and they have changed for the better, too. As always, A simply does not look.

(Does he even see the good others see in him? Does he look away from praise, too? Did he even realize Benjamin's admiration for him? Will we ever know?)

6. A's end.

A's progression of moving on would be fine and dandy if it did not end as thus: A does kill himself.

A sees himself beyond the point of no return. Everyone is dead. He is alone. Carmen is never coming back. He can't call it quits now, or else everything has been in vain. (Even if the last days show us a part of him wants to just quit, so badly.)

So, there's only one thing left to do: follow the Script to its ending. Fulfill Carmen's legacy at all costs. Death as the ultimate release.

This is the point where I admit I do not like the death as release trope. But the game does a good enough job as presenting it as the only option A had, or the only option he saw himself as having.

However, I've mentioned it before, I'll mention it again: A was not alone. Death was his release, but he left wreckage. In order to end his own suffering, he inflicted the same pain he went through on others.

Throughout the game, he moves on and pushes through. The ending shows that in reality... he didn't.

At least in lor the characters stick together and help each other heal.

This has been most of my thoughts on A, amounting to my longest analysis post ever, having taken me approximately two and a half hours to complete, and clocking in at 2337 words including up to this paragraph.

Thank you anon for giving me the incentive to verbalize all of this, so I can finally be at ease having inflicted my thoughts on everybody else.

#Feli gets asked #lobotomy corporation #ayin #library of ruina #also i saw apparently another fandom besides lc uses the ayin tag which is just fun to watch honestly #many characters could rival this word vomit probably but as i said i already inflicted most of my thoughts abt netz on my good pal borgor #thank you borgor for dragging me back into projmoon stuff. also curse you terribly #long post #Feli speaks

[oodlyenough]

alright i've seen arcane twice through now, here are my opinion patch notes:

jayce is hilarious i can't believe fandom hates him so much lmao... arcane boldly asks, what if steve rogers shot a child, and i think that's very fun and sexy of them

fr though i do think jayce is one of the more interesting characters precisely because he's -- well partly because i feel like he realized he's bisexual two days ago and is making it everyone's problem, which is already great. but also because watching the square-jawed hero complex guy make a series of terrible decisions and go mad with power is a satisfying thing to witness. the story seems very aware jayce is doing a bunch of fucked up stuff, and i appreciate that. unhinged bisexual rights

i was also more into the political drama once i was following it closer. i think it's handled with relative subtlety most of the time and i like that! i hope it stays that way in s2, please god. also how tf does the council work, are people appointed? i guess? based on status/wealth? it certainly doesn't seem to be a democracy.

also i love ambessa. can't wait to see more of her.

i feel like mel's writing is... kind of underbaked. her words and her actions don't always correspond (eg "i've never been able to give back!" says the single richest person in a city with severe wealth disparity who has been in political power for a decade). i don't say any of this to drag mel, because i'm very interested in who i think she is/could be, but i find it hard to decipher if this is nuanced writing or just the story not really knowing what it's doing with her -- i guess we'll see what s2 does. i'm still pretty confident she'll survive the finale, not so much because i think she'll survive the entire show (doubtful imo) but because i think if they're going to kill mel she'll get a solo death episode and the finale/fallout of jinx's bomb has too much else going on. fingers crossed anyway, lol, i think it'd be shitty if she's just dead now before they did much with her

i understand like 25% more of what happened with viktor and happy fun ball but ... still not a lot. lmao. i don't mind them keeping it vague i guess but i hope future sequences are less outright confusing to me. why did it eat sky? why did it change his hand? was that on purpose? we never saw him having issues with his hand, right? who knows.

still love that dinner scene with jinx/silco/vi. as i was watching with @firstofoctober i was saying how great it is that everyone in the scene is saying stuff they genuinely believe even if that stuff isn't factually true. i know there's Discourse over how genuine silco was being but i really do think all evidence points to him meaning it/believing what he's saying, even if *we* know vi isn't going to betray powder, etc. likewise vi obviously means it when she says she loves jinx and they're still sisters etc... but i really don't think she has a proper grasp of who jinx is now, she's projecting baby powder and expecting she can flip a switch. it's good and sad and i like it a lot.

coming out less flatteringly on rewatch:

ep 1 is so boringgggggggggg these are so many characters and i only have to care about two of them

caitvi moves at breakneck pace lol. slow down ladies it's been 72 hours tops

heimerdinger is just terrible on rewatch imo lmao he literally never does anything to help anyone or anything. i'm pretty sure jayce only deposed him for being mean to viktor, but he was still right. i GET that his whole thing is being immortal and blah blah but like what if: some guy with no perspective on human existence wasn't ruling a city full of mostly-humans. depose him again jayce.

and my least popular opinion: caitlyn i just... i tried man. i dunno. i mean she's nice and stuff... katie leung is funny sometimes. i just feel like she is so uncomplicated compared to literally every other character, with the least compelling arc. and i think the story treats her with real kiddie gloves too, which i find grating. everyone else fucks up and makes mistakes and is punished narratively for it, but caitlyn is always right bc she is a nice good cop. okay. whatever.

#arcane #lmao i think most of this is Unpopular so u are warned

[obeymebutcursed]

This isn't cursed but I have a desperate need to share and you're the first blog I clicked on. Also spoiler warning

General conclusion in the fandom with Asmo is that he's a narcissist as a cover up for being insecure with his personality. The game does a little to support that with his arc in season 2 but if I'm being honest when he was called out on for not liking his personality, he wasn't that broken up about it? You'd suspect if he was covering it up for thousands of years he'd be seriously breaking down when people find out. So, I have a different theory.

Nobody talks about it too much but near the end of season 2, it was mentioned that he had a really bad breakup in the past, apparently so bad that Solomon had to take care of him after. It's also mentioned several times how Asmo is actually really good at dealing with his brothers when they're upset. So, I think he's less a delusional mess and more recovered from the break up, using his exadurated self love as a coping mechanism.

What do you think?

I'm going to start this off by saying that I haven't actually played through most if not all of the newer released lessons, so unfortunately I know little about the actual lore in full, but I luckily don't mind spoilers, and my friend has given me a little insight.

My opinion will be under the cut so I don't need to worry about overdoing it or being a nerd or anything because I'm a mental health junkie and enjoy knowledge and educating.

I should also mention I'm not a psychologist by any means.

Again, this is my personal breakdown of Asmo and his narcissistic personality, having not really went through lessons after like 25 (I'm so so so behind I know.) because I've forgotten lessons existed for a long while.

Beware, this is going to be a long one. But I promise it is worth the read. You may even learn something.

~

Okay so let me start this by breaking down the possible stem of Asmo's narcissistic behavior in my opinion, based on some of the research I've done on NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder) and what little I know about Asmo's time as an angel. (Thanks to a dear friend I have seen spoilers from recent lessons so I'm not going into this totally blind.)

I believe it began in the Celestial Realm. Asmo was praised, complimented, and grew up with a very high self-worth. He was named the "Jewel of the Heavens", so clearly people valued his looks. Assumably this would lead to a spike in his idea of his own self-value. The beginning of narcissistic behaviors.

If a child grows up with an unrealistic point of view of their high self-worth granted by the high praise of others, they're very likely to develop NPD with that mindset. I assume that Asmo's compliments didn't just suddenly happen when he was a bit older. I can imagine it started from a young age. Which would feed that feeling of overconfidence and overwhelming love for oneself.

Now, given that Asmo was seen as someone incredibly beautiful and of high stature, upon his fall into Devildom, it would be an incredible shock, as while he is still beautiful, he is different, changed, and may not have gotten the same attention he did in the Celestial Realm. This would result in a flood of insecurity about his image, wondering why the others didn't see him as such an amazing and great being, as well as his own idea of himself changing with his new appearance.

Let me now get into the hidden insecurity thing.

As someone who has dealt with insecurity for a long time, I'm not sure if being called out on it would necessarily break me down, regardless of how long I've been hiding it. Yeah being called out would sting, and it wouldn't feel right, but also breaking down would mean vulnerability, thus showing that extra insecurity that you may be trying to hide.

Not to mention, people who live with NPD are less likely to show that vulnerable and insecure side to them, as that is exactly what they have been trying to hide for so many years.

So using his narcissistic behavior as a coping mechanism and mask for his insecurity is still very much plausible for Asmo, especially if it already in his mindset that he is above everyone else in beauty and such.

About your theory, I do agree that it is incredibly interesting.

I can see where this theory would come into play. It would be a good lesson for people, should this theory be the case for him. Using self love as a way to cope after a painful breakup or traumatic experience is in fact a better way to manage the stress, pain, loss, and other emotions that a person may feel.

However, I will say, Asmo does still go a bit over the top.

Self love is amazing, yes, but when it comes to a point where you are prioritizing yourself and your looks over just about everything else, it teeters on the line of narcissism.

A breakup with trauma and pain so bad can hurt a person's mental health. Thus leading to an insecurity increase. Said insecurity can be thought to be fixed by using copious amounts of self love and self worship, which then, if overwhelming enough, could very well lead to a mask of narcissism to hide the underlying insecurity a person feels.

Tying back into the already formed narcissistic behavior, if Asmo were to somehow open himself up and see through the narcissism, then have this happen and revert back to feeling insecure, it would come back to him as a clutch. A way of coping because he obviously felt great joy being praised, and it will feel even better when he is hurting. He needs someone as well as himself, to tell him that he is enough, and usually confident people are seen to be happier and more praise worthy for being "happy with themselves". Hopefully that makes sense.

As for him helping his brothers, I believe his knowledge of dealing with his brothers when upset stems from knowing his own personal experiences and not wanting to put others in that situation. He is very loving and kind, so this very well may be the case. Not to mention the years of studying them and really getting to know them and how they act. This probably runs true with most of them, they just fail to act on it or see it.

Being a narcissist does not mean you're incapable of helping and being empathetic with others. In most cases it is shown differently, as the connections are harder to grasp, and most narcissists are unwilling to empathize because they want to keep their vulnerability in check.

Narcissism, when really settled, is hard to change. But perhaps years of experience for Asmo has helped him see through some of it and learned how to better manage it so it's not too much all the time. Surely his brothers would learn how to help him, what works, and what doesn't.

I personally believe regardless, Asmo's narcissistic behavior does still stem from an insecurity issue and programmed unintentional behavior and mindset as a young angel.

It also may just be the case of that's how the writers just thought to write him and there is no real proper explanation.

Whatever the case may be, Asmo is a very strong yet underrated and seemingly underused and overlooked character.

I do hope whatever mess of knowledge that just dumped out of my brain makes sense and is somewhat of an answer of what you were looking for.

I apologize that this is so incredibly long. 😬

#obey me #obey me shall we date #obey me! #obey me! shall we date? #not cursed oops #obey me! asmodeus #obey me asmodeus #obey me asmo #obey me! headcanons #obey me headcanons #shall we date asmodeus #om! asmodeus #obey me hc #obey me! hc #obey me spoilers

[nocturnaldivinationsfallingstars]

A Stray Bullet Part 1

Fandom: Gotham Characters: Victor Zsasz, female!reader, James Gordon, and an OC called Grace Warnings: None Summary: The reader is James Gordon’s sister and works for the GCPD and is dating Victor Zsasz. The reader has kept it a secret from her brother, until one day when she takes a bullet that was meant for him. Victor then shows up at James’ place to see the reader. Word count: 3,407 A/N: This is a reupload. Something’s are going to be different from the original one of this.

Sinister, dark, grey clouds rolled in over the gloomy and grungy city of Gotham as they so often did on a near daily basis as of late. The clouds barely allowed any soft golden rays of sunshine to seep through its thick layer above. As if hinting towards darker and more menacing days approaching, the once glorious city now in mourning for a much beloved family. You allowed yourself a sparing glance to the ever darkening sky for a very brief moment. A scowl creased your brow as you and your partner, Detective Grace Allen, walked up the steps of the GCPD, kicking beads of water up from the various sized puddles that formed on the worn concrete steps leading towards the tall wooden doors from the previous night.

“Looks like it’s going to rain,” you muttered out to your “close” friend.

You couldn’t help the disappointment in your voice at the lack of sunny days in the city. Grace simply grunted in return, taking a sip from the to go cup of coffee in her hand. You wouldn’t go as far as calling Grace your best-friend, after all you didn’t have that close-knit friendship that your brother and his partner have. Where they can talk to each other about their problems and such. It wasn’t that you didn’t want to have that kind of closeness with her. It more had to do with the fact that you felt as if you couldn’t; Considering how Grace would reply to your questions, or her lack of a reply, sometimes being the prime reason. 

A part of you had to admit that it had been that way since the days after your police academy training. Since the day you had been placed in the Gotham City Police Department, along with your brother James, as a detective. If you had to be honest with yourself, you hadn't expected to be placed there. In fact, there had been a part of yourself that thought you would leave Gotham for good; leave the crime and dreary atmosphere behind. To leave your brother to clear up the mess of criminals that roamed rampant through the streets of your home like a deadly disease. A disease that left nothing but chaos, pain, and death in its wake. So you can move on with your life somewhere else, somewhere less toxic.

However, you also couldn't deny the part of you somewhere deep down inside that knew you wouldn't leave. No, you couldn't leave the crime riddled streets. To some degree, that nagging part of yourself had been correct. You're still here; fighting for your city, just as much as your brother.

“Oh, you mean it is like every other typical day here in Gotham?” Grace asked bitterly, you barely heard the words escape her mouth. You were so focused on your thoughts that her voice seemed muffled. When you didn't respond as a frown came across her features, “hello?” Grace suddenly asked, drawing the word quickly waving a hand in front of your face trying to gain your attention. “Earth to [Y/N]!” she exclaimed with irritation present in her voice.

Your brows shot up in surprise and settled back into place. “Sorry, what?” you asked her, blinking your eyes a couple of times to allow your vision to clear and turning your head towards her. Grace rolled her eyes at you, shaking her head. The two of you came to a stop in front of the double doors belonging to your workplace. You grasped the long slender brass handle with your hand.

"Forget it," she replied as you wrenched the door open wide enough for Grace to slip through. You made a motion with your free hand for her to proceed into the bullpen. Grace gave a simple nod of her head as a thank-you. "You're in your own world as it is." She brushed it off.

The look that you shot her made it extremely clear to your partner that you were absolutely not in a good mood today. Not that she could blame you for being in such a terrible mood, especially with how your current investigation was going at the moment.

Grace had received a call from someone at the GCPD who had been working the night shift in the early hours of the morning on her work phone. Telling her something about a brand-new lead on your case, and that someone may be able to identify who the prime suspect could be. However, as the two of you investigated the person who had called in the lead, someone back in the office got a call about a body being found in an old run down alleyway besides an equally dilapidated club somewhere in the Narrows. 

This call had been placed about an hour or two after you and Grace had gone to check out the lead. Rendering all the questioning prior to getting the news useless and placing the case back at square one. Meaning you were, once more, looking for a new lead and another new suspect. One that hopefully wouldn’t end up dead like the other. Naturally this had put you in a bitter mood. It would have done that to anyone. You felt as if you had finally made some headway with it, only to be let down. Even Grace seemed to be angry about it. At the very least, the two of you had to wait for the autopsy results on the new body that surfaced.

You weren’t sure if you were hoping the person's death would be connected to your case or if it was just a coincidence. Knowing Gotham however, it certainly wasn’t a simple coincidence. But one could hope.

"So much for my day off." You muttered to yourself with a quick shake of your head, your hair brushing against your neck sending a tickle through you. Truthfully, it was not unusual for you to always be working when you had an open case that piqued your interest and got you overly invested in it. You amended your shift and made it so that your day off was the following week. However, with the way that the case has been progressing so far your day off may as well be postponed until a much later date. A habit that you have seemed to develop rather early on in your career at the GCPD.

"I guess we'll have to keep working," the voice of your partner sounded out, "extra hard." She added on, jerking you from your thoughts of the case and your day off being postponed once again. You sighed once again, following her into the police department. The sound of chatter and phones ringing filled the air in the bullpen. The distinct smell of coffee and smoke, from those that did smoke, bombarded your senses.

"I suppose," you huffed out in defeat, making a face at the cigarette smell. You had thought that you'd have unravelled the mysteries of the case by now; that the investigation would be over with, as you didn't want it to roll over to next week. Dropping your hand from the brass door handle down to your side, you let the door swing closed with a groan.

The inside of the police department looked just as dismal as the unpleasant weather outside. The fluorescent lights above the grey metal desks did absolutely nothing to brighten the already slightly depressing workplace up. "Look, I know this isn't what you had planned today since it is Sunday," Grace started as she pulled the uncomfortable wooden chair from under her cluttered and unorganised desk, plopping herself down with a long, deep sigh. A mischievous smile stretched its way across her pink lips. "You most likely wanted to spend the day with your boyfriend. Hell, you probably already had plans with him that you had to move to another day." She told you, as if she was trying to persuade you to confess to having a boyfriend. Her dark blue eyes followed your every move, watching as you shrugged off your copper-red leather jacket.

"Okay, I don't have a boyfriend." you countered with a snort, rolling your eyes at her and threw your jacket over the back of your chair hauling it out from under your clean, tidy and organised desk - a complete opposite to Grace's one.

"Okay, sure," Grace snickered as she pushed herself forwards in the chair, her elbows going to the desk in front of her. You couldn't help but notice the disbelief that shadowed her features.

Linking your fingers together you leaned forwards, mimicking your friend. "If I had a boyfriend, don't you think I would have told you?" You asked and offered a small sweet and slightly irritated smile, placing your chin on top of your fingers. 

"No," she answered far too quickly for your taste. "No,  you wouldn't."

She got you there. It was, to you, too private to say to anyone. Puffing your cheeks out, your eyes darted down to the case file on your desk. "Well, I don't have a boyfriend." You told her once more, this time your voice holding conviction in hopes that she would stop bringing it up and believe you for once.

Your hopes soon shattered when it didn't make her stop. In fact, if anything, it merely served to make her talk about it all the more. Her attempts at convincing you to confess to your secret boyfriend becoming all the more clear now.

Grace snickered, shifting in the chair and lowering the hand that had been propping her chin up on the table. She reached a manicured hand towards the never-ending tower of paperwork piled high on her desk. "Says the person who takes private calls and checks her phone every few hours during a work day," she teased, grabbing the first file on the messy pile.

You squeezed your eyes together tightly, sucking in a deep breath of stale air and released it. You had to admit you really hated the fact that she took notes on literally everything that you did when she was around.

With a gentle shake of your head, you opened your eyes to find her grinning at you. "It's called having other friends. Some of which want to talk to me privately," you stated matter-of-factly. This caused Grace's top lip to twist upwards at your words.

“I loathe you,” you grumbled out, pushing yourself away from your desk with ease. Firmly planting your hands flat on the cool surface of your desk, on either side of the case file in front of you. Your chest heaved as you breathed out a couple of deep breaths. Your eyes scanned the buzzing police department. A few criminals sat in the cramped jail cells in the corner beside one set of stairs leading to your brother’s and his partner’s desk. A couple of criminals sat in handcuffs at some desks run by other officers. Nothing too out of the ordinary there. But it seemed to be a tad quieter today than it typically would be.

“You don’t loathe me,” your friend replied in a sing-song voice. “If you just admit to having a boyfriend that you don’t want anyone knowing about, then I can drop this whole conversation.” Your fingers pressed against the desk, turning the tips of your fingers white.

"Who has a boyfriend?" James asked absently as he came to a stop beside your desk, letting his heavy hand fall to your shoulder and gave a gentle squeeze. His eyes darting towards the wide-open door of the captain's office. You looked up at your brother and tilted your head to the side as your eyes followed his gaze and stayed fixated on the door. After a long time, you averted your gaze towards James, quirking a brow at him questioningly. 

Evidently your brother hadn't paid attention to who had spoken just a couple of minutes ago. He gave a slight wave of his hand, like he was waving off your unspoken question. "[Y/N] has a boyfriend, but she won't admit it," Grace responded, sending a wink your way.

Reaching up you slapped the palm of your hand against your face, a growl of frustration escaping you. "For the last time, I do not have a boyfriend." You protested with a loud groan.

James chuckled half-heartedly at your misfortune, shifting his hand from your shoulder and up to your head, giving you a pat on the head as he so habitually did. "I highly doubt she does," he spoke up, directing his attention to your partner. "I would have known if she did have a boyfriend. We tell each other many things after all." You smiled triumphantly as James confirmed your point-blank lie.

For a moment you allowed yourself to wonder if he completely believed you didn't have one. It would be ignorant of you to assume he didn't think otherwise, you hadn't mentioned anything to him. Therefore, in a way it would be extremely unlikely if he didn't believe it. You almost felt terrible for not coming clean to your brother. He's usually so sweet, lovely, and supportive of all your boyfriends when you tell him you're seeing someone. But this is considerably different to the previous ones because the man that you're dating is an extremely dangerous hitman, the best there is in Gotham. A hitman that works for none other than Don Carmine Falcone himself. The kingpin's personal hitman that he calls upon whenever he has some 'business' to take care of, which is almost daily. The name that belonged to the hitman that you're dating is Victor Zsasz. 

You weren’t entirely certain if Victor and your brother met in the past. But you knew for a fact that if James had encountered him before, then he wouldn’t be too thrilled about your current choice in men. James would presumably try his best to convince you to stop seeing Victor, or even get involved himself. For now, however, you wanted to keep it a secret from both James and Grace. 

"I have got to go, okay?" James asked you, not that he needed permission to go. It was more to let you know he's done with the conversation. You gave a soft hum and gentle nod of your head in response. James pat your head once again before walking away from you and by Grace. He nudged her arm on his way by, "don't tease her too much, or she'll never open up to you." He told her and Grace hummed in acknowledgement to his piece of advice.

"Hey, it's rude to call me out like that!" you called after him, only to get a wave of his hand in response.

Grace snorted out a laugh of amusement at your expense. "Don't say a word," you exhaled as a warning and pulled yourself closer to your desk. You pressed your lips together as you scanned the small pile of files and paperwork to your right and then down to the file that sat in front of you begging to be opened. **At least my pile is smaller than Grace's** you thought to yourself.

"I wasn't going to say anything." she hummed out, the corner of her lips curling up into a barely noticeable smirk, her eyes more focused on the pieces of paper she had in her hands. 

"No, but you were thinking about it." Grumbling, you flipped the file in front of yourself open, grabbing one of the two pens from the pen holder on your desk swiftly. Slowly and quietly you sifted through the pages of paper while anxiously awaiting the results from the medical examiner.

"[Y/N], you do realise I just want us to have a similar kind of friendship and closeness that Jim and Harvey have right?" Grace suddenly inquired out of nowhere. Your eyes snapped up from the papers and over to Grace hesitantly. 

Leaning back you carefully placed the pen on the desk next to the now scattered papers. 

"I understand that," you nodded, your tongue daring out between your lips to moisten them since they suddenly felt dry. Your brows shot up in surprise at the sudden change of conversation. The fact that Grace had actually told you that she wanted the same kind of friendship as Harvey and James was surprising. "I do understand that, but I don't want to tell you everything right away. I will in time though, just give it... well, time." Grace nodded along, listening to you explain.

"Things right now, for me at least, are a bit... all over the place."

"That's fine and all, but don't make it seem as if you don't trust me. That you don't want anything to do with me." The tone of her voice changed in a matter of seconds. Annoyance, hurt and anger dripped from her words. You knew you were acting a bit cold and stiff towards her. You never meant to make her feel as if you didn't trust her or that you didn't want to be friends with her. 

Reclining back in the chair which creaked under the shift of your weight. "I didn't mean to make you feel like that," you started to tell her, hoping you could tell her about the fact that her lack of replies made it seem as if she wasn’t exactly welcoming the idea of being friends. Without a word she stood up from her chair and turned to walk away.

Pressing your index and middle finger to your temple, you exhaled sharply. That wasn't how you were expecting things to go today with Grace. Usually she would try to get you to joke about something. Every so often it worked and other times it didn't work out that way. 

“Great going there,” you muttered to yourself in a hushed voice, shifting in the chair again to get comfortable. Gradually you lowered your hand back to the cold metal desk, deciding it may be better for you if you got on with your work. Talking to Grace about it could wait for another time. You went to pick up the pen and to sort through the pages, when the sound of three sets of foot falls caught your attention. Now, this wasn’t an unusual thing to hear in a police department, plenty of people walked in and out of the department on a daily basis. However, these foot falls sounded familiar to your ears.

When a loud knocking sound of knuckles hitting one of the many metal desks came from behind you, you and everyone else on the first floor of the department turned around quickly to see who it was that demanded the attention of the entire GCPD. Your eyes landed upon two women. One was dressed in a leather skirt, a bra looking corset and black combat boots. The other woman looked as if she was wearing a netted dress with an under bust leather corset and black combat boots.

A look of confusion and recognition passed over your features, replacing the frown that had formed from the previous with Grace. You recognised the two women from when you had first met Victor; he had just finished a job, and the three of them exited the alleyway. You had walked into Victor by accident, too busy arguing with your brother over the phone. You and Victor introduced yourselves before going your separate ways. If your memory was serving you correctly, Victor referred to the women as the Zsaszettes.

“Oh fuck,” you muttered out breathlessly, saying this more to yourself than anyone else in the bullpen with you. Your eyes landed upon your very own secret boyfriend. Victor stood in the middle of the room, his hands balled into fists by his side as he looked around the dull room. A couple of workmates close to you spared a sideways glance once they heard you speak, questioning and puzzled looks on their faces. It wasn’t long before their attention went back to the tall, pale man in front of them. Victor looked satisfied with the attention he had gained.

You did have to admit, Victor dressed up in his black suit, with his braces hanging loosely behind him looked hot as all hell. And ever so slightly intimidating. You couldn’t take your eyes off of him, an effect he seemed to have on you from the very start.

#Gotham #Victor Zsasz #Victor Zsasz x female reader #Victor Zsasz x reader #x reader #reader insert #Victor Zsasz reader insert #re-write of an old fic #writing #part one #fanfiction #fanfic #female reader #x you #Victor Zsasz x you #Gotham x reader #Gotham x you #Gotham fanfic #A Stray Bullet #A Stray Bullet Part 1 #ASB Part 1 #part 1

[janiedean]

I feel bad for all the nice J*nsa shippers who like their ship for whatever reasons (tropes, pretty art, aesthetic appeal, whatever) and know it's not canon but get associated with the misogynistic Dany hating crowd who act like Jon being attracted to Ygritte is J*nsa foreshadowing because red hair (I guess Jon should fuck Edmure Tully too? Omg give me Dark!Jon getting revenge on Catelyn by seducing her brother!) Tell me something. I'm new to the fandom but was J*nsa popular before the show? And I've heard something about the OG J*nsa shippers being alienated by the new shippers who insisted it had to be canon and acted like the series is called, "A song of J*nsa #danysux." I don't find that hard to believe because I know people who are now ashamed of calling themselves J*nsa shippers. Like, at this point, it's not only rival shippers who hate it. Even Gendrya/Braime/Jon stans/etc have started disliking that ship. You know your fandom is a problem when people who have nothing to do with Jnsa have a problem with it.

me: reads this ask

me: iwastheregandalf.gif which I can't find now but

okay anon buckle up because I am sadly well-equipped to answer this ask but before I do lemme tell you dark jon seducing edmure to take revenge on cat is LITERALLY THE BEST THING I'VE EVER HEARD but *clears throat* ALL RIGHT THEN.

disclaimer: as anon says I have no issue with like the shippers mentioned by anon in the beginning and ngl I agree, I have ABSOLUTELY ZERO FUCKING STAKES in the j*nsa vs j*nerys war and the only het jon ship I gaf about is jon/ygritte and we all know where that ended up I just... have been here since 2011/adwd was over and all the fic around was just for the books under secret lj communities and asoiaf qualified for yuletide and I have... seen... things.... and I actually have like uh had... beef... with some people in there and I know things bc ppl who hated those others told me stuff so anyway *sigh* buckle up anon I'mma tell you the story of jon shipwars through the years

in order, the old gods help me here, under the cut bc this is long as fuck

when I got into fandom also given what numbers were on ao3 one ship was popular and it was sansan. no like sansan was lit. the only asoiaf ship on ao3 with more than 200 fics. jb had twenty when i checked first. jc had like around 100-ish because of the show but sansan dwarfed anything. I posted the first jon/ygritte fic on the ao3 tag and the fourth throbb fic and like the others were all reposts from lj kinkmemes. nothing was popular before the show except for sansan when it comes to huge numbers bc grrm doesn't like fic and it was all hush hush until the show made it impossible to control and that ship was the one with a huge enough fanbase it actually had numbers, so like... j*nsa wasn't popular in the way nothing else was popular until it got screentime on the show

now, that stated, j*nsa had a... fair amount of fic for a rareship which was mostly book-based and from og shippers that were there from before the show and liked it for what it was but literally none of them thought it was gonna be canon, like it wasn't huge or anything but it had a small but dedicated fanbase who did their own thing and thought it was fun/liked the idea but that was it

that fandom had their own niche of hcs that they cultivated and shit except that like... at the end of S5/beginning of S6 there was a surge in shipping for... well obvious reasons bc it was obv sansa was getting to the wall and that would have been all nice and good but a) it was the time puritanical shipping was starting to take root and the 'shipping sansa with sandor or tyrion is hella problematic' rhetoric had started to circle coming from sans*ery shippers mostly but I'mma not open that fucking can of worms here, b) while the ending of S5 had more of a theon/sansa spike, the j*nsa stuff started getting big

now here we have to mention my villain origin story ie: j*nsa fandom had this one stan whose name I won't make because honestly it's been years and if she's still around I don't want her to remember I exist who was a bnf, wrote for... the website that created the whole larry/carol thing etc who was really fixed on this thing that j*nsa was actually canon and started writing extremely popular meta about it. now you're gonna ask how do you know, I know because this person once wrote a meta named 'why robb stark is a dick' and I told her that it was really fucking bad meta and she took it so badly she kept on trash talking me on her blog/her podcast (I was apparently the insane robb stark fangirl l m a o good lord) and like that was when some sane ppl who argued with her informed me in pvt that she was basically harping on the CANON thing when they'd have been okay with like... it being crackshipping and that she was basically cultivating a hoarde of followers who were harping on them/the ogs and basically ostracizing them;

I would like to add that this person - before her tumblr got 'accidentally deleted' and remade it therefore deleted most receipts for, er, her so-called meta which included stuff like ned and cat raised sansa as a sexual object and only wanted to sell her like cattle - had at some point started a round robin fic thing where... some of the characters mocked openly said stuff that some of the og fans had said specifically targeting them and people in that side basically went harassing anyone who didn't agree with that specific notion

now never mind that this person basically coined an entire term to describe ppl who liked white guys and excused all their wrongdoings out of my conversation re robb basically lying about everything I said as if I didn't have the receipts and tried to sell shirts with it and it didn't work and like then she got kicked out of her own website because she was telling her commenters disagreeing pretty shitty insults (considering I was called psychotic for disagreeing with her that time I don't doubt it) I think at some point she stepped back from fandom bc idk wtf she's up to these days and I don't want to, but basically at that point the dam was broken and there was a bunch of puritanical shippers harping on anyone who didn't agree with j*nsa is canon endgame stuff

this also includes an incident when those ppl were like... passing themselves as throbb shippers and ended up trying to tell t*hramsay shippers off the theon tag based on moral reasons and I ended up arguing with all of them (and they were all from that crowd) which in turn landed me in contact with other og j*nsa shippers who were like detached from that fandom bc those same people harassed them away as well ssooooo fun

anyway when S6 happened everyone was high on it and whatnot but I wasn't gonna begrudge them that I mean... you shipped it for years, canon is delivering you, good for you, but then j*nerys happened

god j*nerys happened

aaand basically...... I mean personally I was there like are y'all seriously arguing about the best incest jon ship out there but like basically the j*nsa endgame side was like AH JON IS PLAYING DANY SEE IF IT DOESN'T HAPPEN, the j*nerys obv got defensive af and both sides were sort of alternatively shitting on jon/ygritte anyway and depicting any other romantic rship jon could have as abusive™ and during S8 it just got worse and like I tried to stay out of it but basically from what I'm seeing now idk how the j*neryses are doing but on the j*nsa one it's ah jon's gonna play dany anyway and she's going to go insane like in the show so SHOW TRUTHING EVERY OTHER WAY and like again denying that sandor exists or that tyrion exists and like I barely touch my corner (sansan) but I ended up arguing with j*nsa/th*nsa people on twitter who were antis and is2g it was white-hair inducing and I know for sure the sansa/tyrion shippers were harassed to hell and back throughout so FUN

and even if the show didn't go there now since everyone there banked on the jnsa endgame thing and admitting you're wrong is like... not a thing, they still haven't let go of it and attach to that ship any shred of evidence which honestly is grasping at straws half of the time (like... the sansa/alysanne parallels like guys please no) and which is why every other ship is starting to get fed up, attaching canon proof of stuff from other ships onto theirs see that batb argument and jb is platonic but jonsa is not nvm taking all the sansan stuff and throwing it on j*nsa but then denying that sansan has canon evidence (like guys I had to read sansa touching his shoulder when saying gregor wasn't a true knight wasn't meaningful and we were seeing things please) and blah blah blah

this also goes hand in hand with the fixation on like... villanizing dany at all costs and like is2g I have zero investment in dany or her storyline I don't even remember it and I don't particularly care abt her either way and sure af I'm not for j*nerys endgame but like.... some stuff I read is completely excessive esp when fixing on how she's a completely mad tyrant who's gonna have to be put down and like... guys no

(also there's some srs stannis hate in that corner which I honestly don't get why they even care abt stannis but I had to read stuff like ppl don't recognize that dany and stannis are the real villains in this saga and like........ idek)

I think most of the og shippers are gone or don't ship it openly bc they don't want to be attached to the drama but like I also think they're pissing off everyone else bc like... I mean a bunch of them also were down with sansa being paired with other ppl as long as it meant a good ending for her except those ppl were... like everyone but the ppl she has actual contact with in canon which meant that at some point sansa/gendry was a thing and like.... you can imagine why arya/gendry shippers & arya stans were fed up, and there's also this tendency to behave like sansa is the center of the entire saga which like these books is named a song of jon snow basically can we pls make peace with it and personally I've had it with both j*nsa and j*nerys people since they started with that dumbass JON/YGRITTE WAS AN ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP rhetoric but I'm also fed up with the total ignoring that sandor exists/depicting us as delusional and honestly I also was by proxy fed up from the harassing of the sansa/tyrion shippers soooooooooooo

there were also instances of 'well theon is an acceptable choice other than jon bc he can't threaten her' which... i mean we all know what that meant and I'm not even commenting it bc it's one AM and I have no force to but I don't have to explain why it's not a progressive take now do I

there were also metas about how cousin incest being legal in half of the world means that jondany is a worse incest and j*nsa doesn't count as such and I was basically there like guys please just fucking own up to it but honestly I chose to forgot where I read that and I couldn't find the link if I tried

tldr: no one wants to admit that it's not gonna be endgame which considering the amount of fic they have on ao3 is imvho useless bc they have more content than like.. anything I ship that's not jb or that's actually like canon *cries in joncon/rhaegar but I mean renly/loras is canon and has less fic than them* so idk what's the problem with enjoying that instead of insisting it's gonna be canon when not even the show validated it while show truthing anyway when the only show truthing that can be truthed is the small council made of minorities and possibly jon eventually fucking off with the wildlings but not like that but like most people who thought it wasn't gonna be endgame had left/were made to leave by the time S7 rolled by and at this point since wow isn't out yet everyone is fandom-grasping at straws to find stuff to discourse on and we're here beating dead horses *shrug*

so that's... how it is but I would again like to point out that I don't judge ppl on their shipping, I don't particularly care about this entire feud bc I only ship jon with ppl he's not related to in whichever way and I try to stay out of this mess bc I don't really care to argue with ppl who have already decided to bend canon to whatever they want and will have to realize that it's not what grrm wrote at some point but like I have a very good memory and the above rant is as objective as possible also bc again I don't literally have a stake in that race I just think romantic/endgame j*nsa is not a thing and that ppl should stay in their lane and not harping on other ppl who ship whatever in general but especially when their ship is the most popular thing in fandom in the first place /two cents

#1 #2 #3 #4 #5 #anonymous #ask post #anti-jonsa #anti jonsa #anti-jonerys #anti jonerys #both of them for equality

[heraldofzaun]

what are your thoughts on viktor and being neurodivergent? though like, obligatory disclaimer that if riot ever did come out and say that "hey! viktor is canonically [something]" that would be catastrophic but i think it is a little bit of fun for consideration

Oh! Well I like to think he's autistic, which is partially because I am too. (Of course in canon it would be catastrophic because haha, oh man, look at how they've treated Blitzcrank's biographies ever since they gave him an updated one. There's some coding in there, alright, and I am... not a fan...)

I’ve posted a lot of long posts recently (this is no exception) and this is also on a kind of tricky subject, so I’m readmore’ing it.

So anyways, while I have to admit that some of the reason why (my) Viktor is autistic is because I am - I think that you can make a general semi-convincing argument. Or I'm so wrapped up in my own interpretations that I can, at the least. Anyways, from here on out when I say Viktor I mean my personal take. Your mileage may vary on applying this to other interpretations.

(Also, thoughts on new lore Jayce's being kind of coded to be like, a stereotypical autistic dude? (If you have any I mean.) I don't like that Riot is doing it, of course, but I've seen a few good rehabilitative takes on it in fandom. @hamartio's Jayce springs to mind, because their Jayce has been developed over the years and also written by someone who like. Cares. Anyways, I have my own personal Jayce ideas that rely on his old lore so he's not really an asshole there, at least in those regards, so I don't really have many thoughts on new Jayce. I think new Viktor is... pretty coded as well, but it’s also insanely stereotypical. The whole “always working, always wants certainty, gets into automation not because he (primarily) wants to help those injured by catastrophes in Zaun but because the catastrophes interrupt his work” thing makes me uncomfortable. Maybe I’ll write sometime on why the rewrite of his lore fails, in my opinion, to hit upon the same themes of his first - would that be of interest to folks? Anyways, this parenthetical is too long.)

I think that autistic Viktor is cool and makes sense, somewhat because of the fact that the ways he goes about solving his problems are, er, unorthodox. (Of course I am not saying that the GE is because he’s autistic, because that’s stupid. This is why I’m kind of squirrely about talking so openly about what I think Viktor’s got going on, and why I don’t really trust if a non-autistic person headcanons him as autistic. There’s a lot of room for that headcanon to just reinforce the “autistic people are supergeniuses with no emotions that work based off of Facts and Logic” trope, and I hate that.) Since a lot of autism is about feeling adrift from/at odds with neurotypical society, I think that Viktor’s general solutions and also his idealistic leanings in the face of everything Zaun is tracks for that. Roboticization makes sense as a way to stop suffering and death, because it’s more achievable than individual feats of immortality through magic or whatever. Viktor doesn’t really get why people would be so opposed to it - he’s made it clear that while he dislikes his own emotions and wants them gone, he doesn’t expect others to cast off theirs. (Maybe he expected that when he was in the thick of his emotional pain, mostly because he couldn’t imagine others choosing differently than he at the time, but not in the current day.)

Of course, externally, when the scary cyborg man who admits to cutting off his own limbs says “no, being a robot is cool, you can keep your emotions even”, any Zaunite (or any person) is going to interpret that as “he is definitely lying”. Viktor doesn’t quite make that leap. (I have thoughts on the whole Theory of Mind concept and I don’t mean to say that Viktor can’t empathize - he does, and does too much - with others, but I think that in this instance he just can’t quite understand sometimes why people don’t believe him.) He also doesn’t quite get why people would be so attached to the bodies that they’re currently in, especially if he can make a mechanical replica. Or why people might want to die and pass into non-existence after a life well lived. (To him, personally, there’s always more to do. Also he’s terrified of death but that’s another topic.)

I also think that Viktor’s empathy is of the hyper- rather than hypo- kind, partially because I feel like outside of self-advocacy groups the mere concept of autistic hyperempathy is seen as like... impossible? It’s also because he generally seems to be kind of an emotional guy in canon before Stanwick, what with the lore saying that “almost no trace of the original man remained” in reference to Viktor reemerging as someone without emotions. That, combined with the fact that he was described as having a “hope to better society” before everything went down, kind of makes me believe that he was a naive idealist type. (Again, not that autism makes you naive, but...) But yes, hyperempathy. Hence "no pain, no wars, no suffering, no death” being part of his ideology for the Glorious Evolution. He gets pretty ripped up about people being hurt, and it’s really only gotten worse over the years as he’s grasped the full scope of pain in the world.

Personally, I write pre-Stanwick-incident Viktor as someone who is still somewhat awkward with expressing emotion, but it’s not due to him not having them. It’s due to the fact that the ways in which he naturally expressed them and in which he interacted with the world were just... seen as odd/different/etc. (I don’t think Runeterra has an autism diagnosis or particularly excellent psychology, even in Piltover and Zaun, so he just gets the “you’re a weird dude” treatment for his entire life.) Stimming or smiling a certain way or talking a lot about his interests or, you know, the general autistic existence is weird to most people around him, as it unfortunately is in real life. So he’s more reserved until you actually know him, because he’s just masking all the time. (Fun fact about my Viktor: he’s pretty expressive under that actual mask of his. It helps to not have to micromanage expressions all the time when he isn’t experiencing a bout of flat affect due to [gestures vaguely at everything else going on with his mental state], although he sometimes feels poorly about not being able to manage himself. But that’s his issues, and I think it’s good for him to show emotion.)

Side note - Stanwick was able to do such a number on Viktor due to: a) Stanwick being very charismatic and manipulative, on top of being an actually smart man and scientist - he’s really a great example of a “good Zaunite”, in the sense of being good at being what the culture rewards, b) Viktor actively dealing with the death of his parents and Stanwick being an older adult who’d treated him kindly and had never seemed put-off by Viktor’s oddities, and c) Viktor not realizing that he’d get backstabbed, because yes he knows that that happens in academia but Stanwick’s nice. Whether or not the outcomes would have been the same if Viktor were more competent at being “a good Zaunite”... well, probably not. Viktor ended up where he did because of who he is.

(Secondary side note: Viktor has a very strong and very black-and-white sense of what’s right and wrong, as well as general black-and-white thinking. You can see how that would have... not helped in the situations he was put through.)

This is getting kind of rambling, but I guess the point of this is that Viktor’s wanting to remove his emotions may be cloaked in the language of them being “inefficient” or “unhelpful”, which would feed into autistic stereotypes, but it’s really more of a matter of them being too painful and raw for him to process. He feels too much and hurts too much, and no amount of positive emotions in the world will (in his mind) make up for the pain he’s felt and will feel. So it’s better to not feel anything at all, isn’t it? At least then you aren’t overwhelmed by it all.

Viktor just hasn’t fit in with Zaun for all his life, really. Not as an odd child who can tell you all about science-fiction and techmaturgy, not as an odd and reserved teenager/young adult, not as a bright young doctoral student still dealing with grief but trying to make the best of it, and... not as the Machine Herald. But now he’s given up on trying to fit in, for better or for worse.

(Other miscellaneous and less serious autistic thoughts on him: generally a pretty fixed diet, partially due to being autistic but also due to what’s easily available in Zaun + what agrees with his stomach. A fan of weight and pressure - I like to think that the reason his outfit is like that is that he finds it comforting, and also that he has a weighted blanket or two around. Special interests of general techmaturgy, robotics, and science-fiction. He can talk for hours about any of those, and has. Both his parents were mildly spectrum-y, his mother a little bit moreso, so they just kinda assumed that him being him was out-of-the-ordinary and a bit strange but not something “horribly wrong”. Oh! And his third arm, which is under a little less conscious control than the rest of him, still stims sometimes when he’s working or otherwise not paying attention to it.)

This was very long and jumped around a lot, because I find it hard to give a convincing paragraph-by-paragraph argument about exactly why I think that Viktor is autistic, or rather why I headcanon him as such. But hopefully it was interesting! I just have a lot of thoughts on him, as well as the general state of autistic-coded or perceived-as-autistic-by-individuals (both allistic and autistic) characters in media and so it’s very hard to do anything concise without branching out into discussing other topics.

#anonymous #headcanons | beneath the mask #//preemptive remark that these are my own thoughts on autism which are filtered through the lens of my life experiences #//as well as that of some aspects (emphasis on some) of academic research. baron-cohen can choke with his theories #//also i did not explain some terms here under the assumption that those reading would probably already know them. feel free to ask if not!

[nadisabug]

Princess

Summary: Y/n is not prepared to find out why she has been picking fights with Zuko. Prompts: 42. Character A: Fuck. Oh, fuck. I’m in love with Character B! Character C: Yeah. A: Why the fuck didn’t you tell me?! C: What?! I thought you knew! 31. "I'm so in love with you it hurts." Fandom: ATLA Pairing: Sokka x reader Warnings: cursing A/N: Ah! Here is my second piece for the @fromthewatertribe‘s event! (also gonna tag @astroninaaa jic!!) I loved writing this, I hope I did the prompts justice! I hope you enjoy guys!

"Why don't you get off your pretty little ostrichhorse and face the fact that we're not going to treat you like royalty," I spat angrily, glaring at Zuko.

We were fighting. Again.

Ever since he joined us after we defeated combustion man we had been getting into it.

A lot.

"Says Princess," Zuko scoffed and rolled his eyes.

I felt fire surge up to my face. I opened and closed my mouth, completely unsure of what to say. That was Sokka's nickname for me and only Sokka was allowed to call me that. I was so floored that he would bring that up that the only thing I could shout back at him was, "You are the most despicable person I have ever met!" Fucking lame, I thought to myself.

"Tell me something I don't know," Zuko quipped. His responses were so easy and calm, he wasn't riled up in the least bit. It bothered me that I was so emotional and he wasn’t. It was like he didn't even care.

So I went for a low blow that I knew would set him off.

"Oh poor baby Zuzu, playing the martyr-"

"Don't call me that!" He nearly screamed losing all of his composure. He lunged towards me, flames erupting from his closed fists.

"Okay that's enough!" Sokka strolled in between the both of us, putting his arms up as if that would stop us from tearing each other to pieces. "Zuko, you come with me. We'll go hunting together. Princ- Y/n, you stay here with Toph and cool down."

"I don't need to cool down!" I shouted. I winced when I realized how loud I was. "Fine," I sighed and let my shoulders slump. I watched as Zuko and Sokka walked off to go hunt, leaving me behind with Toph.

It wasn't like I didn't like being with Toph, I loved her, I just... Something was bothering me about that fight.

I turned around and sat next to Toph. She was sitting there, nonchalantly picking her feet. I supposed she had been doing that the entire time we had been fighting.

"What's up with you today, grumpy pants?" Toph asked and elbowed me in the ribcage.

"Ow," I grumbled and rubbed my side. She had good aim for a blind girl. "Nothing, I'm fine."

"When will you people learn that I can tell when you lie," Toph sighed dramatically. She scooted closer to me and whispered in my ear. "Is it a secret? You can tell me, everyone else is gone."

She was right, Aang was training with Katara and now Sokka was off hunting with Zuko. The later part may have been why I was angry. I didn't know why but I felt this intense jealously that Sokka had asked Zuko to go hunting with him instead of me.

I huffed and scooted away from Toph. "I'm just jealous Sokka took Zuko instead of me," I answered truthfully. "I don't know why it bothers me so much though."

"Really?" Toph deadpanned. She paused for a second and when I didn't answer she continued. "Do you even know why you started fighting in the first place?"

I rolled my eyes at her tone. She was probably just trying to make fun of me for being upset over something so trivial, or because I couldn't figure out why it bothered me. "Yes really, I'm jealous. I always go with Sokka when we hunt." I purposefully ignored her second question, though, because I honestly couldn't remember what started the fight.

"I know that, I meant-"

"And why did he take Zuko anyways? He always says that you have to trust you hunting partner with your life, does that mean he trusts Zuko more than me now?"

"I meant-"

"After Boiling Rock they just seem so close, and about that too, I can't believe he took Zuko and not me with him. I knew how important that mission was to him, and he always takes me on his missions."

"Oh whatever," Toph gave up on trying to talk and listened to me rant instead.

"And I guess I am just so upset because usually we sit next to each other during the night around the campfire but now he's sitting with Zuko instead. You remember that time I accidentally fell asleep on him? Do you think that's why he doesn't sit next to me anymore?" I barely paused to get a response before continuing, but it was okay because Toph made no move to answer. "Like I thought that was so nice but what if I snored or something or he just doesn't like me and that was so annoying and-"

I stopped. Something I said had caught my attention.

What if he doesn't like me?

For some reason I felt like it meant more than just like. Like... I wanted him to like me. A lot. Like more than normal. I wanted me to be his favorite person and I wanted him to choose me first and-

"Fuck. Ooooohhhh, fuck. I'm in love with Sokka," I cried out, throwing my head into my hands.

Toph had since begun picking at her feet and didn't even look up when she responded. "Yeah? And?"

"You knew?" I gasped and whirled on her. "Why the fuck didn't you tell me?"

"What?! I thought you knew!"

"How was I supposed to know?"

"Are you kidding me? They're your feelings!"

I didn't have a good comeback for that. So, we lapsed into silence and I began to think about my newfound feelings. It actually started to explain a lot. That's why my face burned every time he sparred with Zuko, shirtless. That's why I felt so at home next to him. That's why I was always so angry at Zuko, I was scared that he was replacing me.

"I need to apologize to Zuko," I mumbled softly.

"Yeah you do, grumpy pants."

"Thanks, Toph," I rolled my eyes. I was about to reprimand her for not being a more supportive friend when I spotted Zuko and Sokka coming back. Still embarrassed over my outburst, I pulled my knees to my chest and hid my head under my arms.

"That was quick." Toph said.

"Yeah, flamey-o hotman over here scared everything away with his magic whoosh powers. I'll have to go out later," Sokka replied. "I'm going to fish for now."

I peeked out from behind my arms to see Sokka stalk off, leaving Zuko awkwardly standing in the middle of the clearing.

I sighed. Now was a good a time as any.

I stood up and walked up to Zuko. "Zuko, can we talk?"

"What, want to yell at me more, princess," he sneered angrily.

I sighed. "No, I want to apologize," I reached up and rubbed the back of my neck and looked off to the side. I couldn't meet Zuko's gaze.

"Let's walk," he nodded and began to lead the way. I followed him, leaving Toph behind.

Once we were a good ways away, Zuko looked at me. "Big change from earlier, wanting to apologize."

"Yeah, I did some thinking."

"Cooled down a bit?" Zuko suggested.

"Fuck off," I growled and rolled my eyes. Zuko raised his hands in defense.

"Sorry, you're right you didn't cool off at all."

"You are making it really hard to be nice, you know," I said and shot him a glare.

"Sorry, sorry," he relented waving his hands. "You're right, I'm still in the mindset from earlier. So. Why are you apologizing?"

"Well, I picked the fight. It was kinda my fault."

"True."

"Zuko," I sighed.

"FIne, fine."

"I just want to say I figured out why I am picking out fights with you and I want to say I'm going to try to do it less."

There was a beat of silence. I looked at Zuko to see his response but his gaze was unreadable.

"And?"

"What?" I responded quickly, defensive over my lame apology.

"You're not going to tell me why?"

I flushed red and turned away. "It's personal."

"It's not personal when you're picking fights with me over it," he responded, raising his voice a little. I could hear his frustration, but I really didn't want to tell him.

"Well it's a personal reason I'm not obligated to tell you everything about my life."

"And I just said if it's the reason you're picking fights with me it's not personal anymore."

"That doesn't even make sense," I bit back, matching his volume.

"Just tell me!"

"Fine it's cause I like Sokka!"

"Okay and?"

I blinked. "What do you mean 'and,' I just told you I like Sokka! That's a big deal!"

"Not really," Zuko shrugged. "I mean we all already knew that."

"You did?"

"You didn't?"

"No of course not how could I?"

"Well I mean it was pretty fucking obvious," Zuko scoffed and folded his arms. He was so blase about it it blew my mind.

"It was obvious?" I repeated what he said, still unable to grasp it.

"Yeah, but moving past the fact that you're an oblivious idiot, how does you liking Sokka have anything to do with me?"

"Oh," I said softly, my cheeks reddening. "Um, well I'm kinda jealous. Of how close you two are."

Zuko was silent for a long time so I looked up at him to see what was the matter. When I did, I just saw him staring incredulously at me.

"We're just friends. It's not like I want his tongue in my mouth like you do," he finally said, laughing.

"Zuko!" I shouted, my face growing even more red.

"Well it's true," he shrugged nonchalantly. "So that's why you're so upset at me all the time."

I shrugged meekly, "Pretty much yeah."

Zuko nodded resolutely. "Then let's help you get this boy."

"What?"

"Did I stutter? I'm going to help you confess and start dating Sokka."

"I don't need any help!"

"Obviously you do if you haven't realized your feelings until now," Zuko half snorted in response. He seemed to find this situation so funny.

"Listen, I can confess on my own time okay," I said resolutely.

With that, Zuko shrugged and walked away. I sighed, but let him, knowing I didn't have much more to say anyway. I went back to camp and sat down next to Toph, talking to her about nothing.

Later, when Sokka came back from fishing, he was soaked and shirtless, a bad combination for my heart. Since I realized I liked him, it was like my feelings were magnified. My face burned red and I couldn't bear to look at him.

"Look what Katara did to me!" He whined once he was in earshot.

"What did you do to her?" Zuko responded airily, not even turning to look at him. I wished I could be that easy going around Sokka.

"Doesn't matter," Sokka waved him off. I saw Sokka look at me and the heat in my chest flared. I looked down quickly, breaking eye contact as soon as we made it. "You and Princess make up?"

I heard Zuko rumble an assent then the topic was dropped. Zuko and Sokka eventually wandered off, talking to each other.

"You're lucky he's as dense as you are. I can't even see and you're making it more obvious than a platypusbear in a pottery shop," Toph smirked at me.

"Oh shut up," I mumbled. I looked up to see Sokka walking back towards me. I mentally hoped that he wasn't coming to talk to me, but when he stopped in front of me I knew my worst fears had come true.

"Hey, can we talk, Princess?"

"Uh, I am actually talking to Toph right now-" I nervously began but Toph cut me off.

"Oh, we just finished. Go have your talk, Princess," Toph pitched her voice up at the end of the sentence, obviously mocking me.

Left without any other excuses, I took Sokka's outstretched hand and followed him to go talk.

We walked all the way down to the beach, where no one else was, before he finally broke the silence.

"So, Zuko said you wanted to talk to me," he finally said, looking down and over at me.

"He did?" I was caught off-guard by that. Why would...

"Yeah, he said it was about the reason why you're fighting with him so much."

If thoughts could kill a man then our party would be down one member. "I can't believe he said that," I groaned and threw my head into my hands.

"So... you don't want to talk to me?"

"No!" I looked up quickly and met Sokka's confused gaze. "I do want to talk to you just not about that!"

"But you talked to Zuko about it?" He asked, half a question half a statement.

"Yeah," I agreed slowly. Sokka smiled softly, sending my heart up into my throat.

"While I am a little jealous, I am actually kinda glad. You don't know how hard its been, what with my best friend and my girl not getting along."

I stopped breathing for a second.

"Your girl?" I whispered breathily.

At my statement, Sokka blanched and began to stammer. "I, uh, I mean a girl that I know not specifically my girl I mean because I can't own a girl you know women's rights and everything equality yeah um so yeah I didn't mean my girl yeah of course not."

I smiled softly and began to open my mouth, but Sokka cut me off.

"I just mean its so hard when your two best friends are fighting because that's what you are to me, just a best friend."

At that my smile fell. "Oh," I said softly, turning away. I began to think that he may have actually just misspoke and that was all.

Suddenly, I felt Sokka grab my arms and pull me in, wrapping his arms around my waist. I looked up at him in surprise but his eyes were closed. He rested his forehead against mine.

"Aw man, don't make that face, I'm sorry I'm such an idiot. It's just... I just... I just love you so much it hurts when you look like that... don't hate me," he added the last part on quickly and softly, scrunching his eyes up.

"How could I, when I love you so much it hurts too?" I whispered breathlessly.

And then, I kissed him. He didn't react at first, but after a moment he began kissing me back ferociously. I reciprocated immediately, kissing him with an intensity of months of pent up affection.

We only parted when we both couldn't breathe.

Panting, we leaned into each other. My arms around his neck, his around my lower back.

"I am considerably less mad at Zuko now," I said happily.

"Yeah, what was with all of that?" Sokka replied, pulling his head away to look at me properly.

"Oh," I flushed for what felt like the millionth time this day. "I was maybe a little jealous."

Sokka laughed but stopped quickly when I glared at him.

"Y/n, don't be jealous. You'll always be my Princess."

And I wouldn't have it any other way.

#ahhhh my second one this one is long and I feel like its so bad #thank you again nina for hosting this event! #I am so glad I participated :) #ninas 1k event #sokka x reader #sokka imagine #sokka x you #atla x reader #atla imagine #atla