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#but now im actually questioning every decision
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been feeling pretty shitty lately
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nereidprinc3ss · 1 month
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come on home
in which the only person who can comfort you after your breakup with spencer reid, is spencer reid
inspired by the song "summer's end" by the artist currently known as phoebe bridgers
wc 2857
warnings: gn!reader (correct me if im wrong), minor mommy issues, angst, happy ending
a/n: thank you to the person who requested this:) u r an angel and I listened to this song the whole time i wrote (if you haven't heard, listen!!) i sincerely hope you enjoy, i like this one a lot<3
She hung up on you. 
Forty-seven minutes of being insulted and berated after you’d called her looking for comfort, and you put up with every single cruel word—just for your mother to hang up on you. And it’s exactly the kind of thing she’d do, so you shouldn’t be surprised. An ache, you’d expect—but it shouldn’t sting like this. You thought you knew better. 
Now you’re in a ball on your couch, clutching your phone to your chest and crying. There’s no point hiding it. Your roommate is out with her girlfriend for the evening—which is too bad because even though you feel like being alone, you’re sure that’s the wrong call. Your other friends are out having fun tonight, too. They’d even invited you, but you turned them down. Look where that had gotten you. Obviously, your mother is not the person you’re about to run to for comfort, either. 
You try to pretend, while you’re thinking of all these people who have ever cared for you, that Spencer Reid isn’t on your mind at all. You try to pretend like you don’t care that the person who loved you until you believed you actually deserved it is a contact going stale deep in the bowels of your text cache. With bleary eyes you scroll down, looking for your conversation where it gathers dust—the end of your relationship was a mutual decision, and you’re friendly, but you haven’t texted in a few weeks. Probably because every time the conversation starts to feel a little too easy, or the phone call lasts a little too long, that aching void in your chest gets worse and worse. Like pain in a phantom limb, you become acutely aware of what you do not have and how much it hurts.  
So blame it on the tears, or the mind-muddling melodrama of your relationship with your mother, blame it on anything but the truth—when your thumb drops on that call button like the plunger on a syringe, you don’t regret it.  
What you’re not expecting is for him to answer after the first ring. 
“Hi,” you say with a snuffle before Spencer can get a word in. There’s a brief interlude, in which you pick at your nails, comfortable to just sit in silence if that’s what he wants. As long as he’s there. 
“Hi.” Hearing his voice instantly melts a bit of the weight you hadn’t realized you were carrying. Another pause, for which you remain silent, because you can feel him formulating a question—and you’d like to hear him speak again. “...am I allowed to ask if you’re okay?” 
Your lips purse and twist to the side, pained and comforted by how easily he can tell that you’re distraught. One word across a tinny connection, and he knows. 
“No. Yes. I mean... I guess that’s why I called you. But you don’t have to ask me about it.” You sniff again and take a deep breath. “How was your day? What state are you in?” 
“I’m in the district,” he answers after a moment, easing into a casualness that he likely doesn’t feel for your sake. Wind crunches through the speaker. He probably just got out of work. “My day was... it was good. I got to talk about my job to a bunch of elementary schoolers, which is always a confidence boost.” 
You chuckle, still laying on your side on the couch and watching storm clouds gathering outside. 
“Nice, nice. What else?” 
“Let’s see... I forgot lunch, so I had three oranges, and they were actually pretty good. I reread Game of Thrones—I don’t know why I did that. I’m never going to like that book.” 
“Masochist,” you smile. He laughs, and you hear the sound of a car door opening. 
“Oh! I talked to my mom. Believe it or not, she says hi.” 
A completely inadvertent snort constitutes your response. It’s not what you meant to do, and out of context it’s sort of mean, but you actually think it’s incredibly endearing that he still talks to his mother about you. He scrambles to explain himself. 
“I swear, we barely talked about you this time. Mostly we talked about her new boyfriend Leonard.” 
“No, no, that’s not... I’m sorry, I’m not laughing at you or your mom. That’s really sweet, actually. Tell her I say hi too.” 
When he next speaks, you can hear the smile in his voice. 
“I will.” Another long pause. You imagine him sitting in the parking lot at Quantico, keys vertical in the ignition of his old car and feeling the silence just as much as you are. He surprises you by not ending the conversation—instead he asks a question. It is concern, poorly disguised with nervous humor. Or maybe you just know him too well. “Do I get to find out what’s on your mind, or are you leaving me in suspense here?”  
You bite the inside of your cheek. 
“Um... well, actually, I just got off the phone with my mom, too. It didn’t go so well,” you laugh halfheartedly, “I know it was dumb to try and have an actual conversation with her, but... you know me. Always following blind optimism to the depths of hell.” 
“Why’d you call your mom?” he asks, so gently it brings a fresh round of tears to your eyes. Still, you attempt to put a cheerful affect on your strained voice. 
“Mm, you know. Just needed someone to talk to.” 
Spencer’s knowing sigh does little to make you feel better. 
“You know you can always talk to me, right? I know it’s... it’s different now, but... I care about you a lot. And, you know, I receive very few phone calls, so the line is pretty much always open.” 
Your laugh quickly devolves into a cry. 
“I appreciate that, but I can’t talk to you about everything.” 
“Why not?” he pleads immediately, voice thin and desperate like it’s his most burning question. A million lies dance over the tip of your tongue. A million things that feel safer to say than the truth. But in the end, it comes out anyway—choked, and so quiet, but aloud nonetheless. 
“Because I’m trying really hard to stop missing you so much.” 
Another long beat of silence. The back of your throat feels dry and hollow—a cage for your hummingbird heart. 
“If it hurts too much to talk to me, you don’t need to do that to yourself. But I also don’t want you to hurt yourself thinking you’re alone. You are... so important to me. I will always try to take care of you the best I can—whether that means staying away or being at your front door. If you ever need me, or even... vaguely want me, I will be there.” 
Each word caves your resolve. Each syllable is a slap in the face to progress you’d been pretending to make. You can be strong—you've proven that over the past ten weeks. You can be stone-faced and slash at your heart until the scar tissue is thick and jagged, and eventually it won’t hurt anymore. But maybe, by letting someone tend to the wounds, they’ll heal a little nicer. A little kinder. Even if you can’t undo the damage, maybe one day you’ll be soft again. 
“What if I vaguely want you right now?” you sniffle. 
Finally, you hear the silver jingle of keys turning. The sputter and rumble of an old engine coming to life. 
“Then I’m on my way.” 
Twenty four minutes later, there’s a soft knock at your door.  
After the call had ended, you’d wondered if you made it all up. Surely your ex-boyfriend wasn’t actually about to show up at your apartment. Someone you’ve grieved for can’t just come back—there are countless horror novels and movies based upon that very tenet. Does it matter if they ever actually died? How long is ten weeks, really? It feels like a lifetime. 
You shuffle across the room, wiping under your eyes with your already damp sleeves, and undoing all the locks Spencer had conditioned you to start using. When the door cracks open, and you see Spencer standing there, windswept and concerned, for the first time in months, it hits you like a tidal wave. You are, beyond a shadow of a doubt, still just as in love with him as you ever were. The relief that floods your veins as he looks down at you with so much care in his eyes is like sinking into warm water. It’s a dead giveaway, and maybe it makes this whole thing a terrible idea, but you can’t seem to care very much. You open the door wider, and he enters, and he stands in your kitchen with his hands in his coat pocket as you shut the door and he’s perfect. It dawns on you that for the first time since the breakup, you feel safe. Like you don’t have to be a stone pillar anymore. This, of course, translates into even more tears, which you try to hide as you face away, re-locking the door.  
“Sweetheart...” he sighs, because you can’t hide anything from him. Hearing the resonance of his voice so close to you once more is overwhelming. In an instant you’re rushing into his arms, and he accepts you without hesitation. You bury your teary face in the vetiver safety of his button-up and slip your arms under his coat, as if you could absorb his warmth and forever hide from the world that way. He pulls you even closer. It’s terrible and cruel how much he is exactly what you needed. “What’s wrong? What did she say?” 
You shake your head and gasp a small sob. 
Truthfully, you’re not really crying about the petty insults from your mother anymore. You’re back to square one, the reason you’d called your mother to begin with—you miss the man whose arms are currently wound around your shoulders. 
His hand smooths over the back of your hair. 
“Okay. That’s okay. We don’t have to talk about it.” 
You stay like that—content even as you cry because being with him feels so much safer than being alone. It feels right—or perhaps it’s just familiar. You don’t know which is worse.  
Spencer is rubbing soothing lines up and down your back as you cling to him, soaking him up in all his ephemeral, comforting glory. He surprises you by chuckling—it vibrates through his chest, buzzing against your ear. 
“Nice Magritte print. I bet the person who bought that has fantastic taste.” 
“Are you gonna ask for it back?” you mumble into the fabric of his suit jacket. He is, of course, referring to the painting you’d more or less stolen from his apartment seven months ago. You really don’t want him to take it home. It’s the most overt Spencer memorabilia you’d allowed yourself to keep in plain sight. 
“No, baby. You can keep it.” The words are low, and kind, and they settle you some, but you can’t seem to get him close enough. “What can I do?” he whispers after a moment, helpless as you take a shuddering breath. “Can I make you tea? Have you eaten?” 
“Will you just... stay for a little bit? I’ll—I promise I’ll stop crying.” 
There is an unexpected lull where you thought you’d receive pretty immediate agreement, but before you can pull back and ask what’s wrong, he murmurs, “yeah. I can stay for a while. But you have to kick me out before it gets too late.” 
You wonder if you’re imagining the double-entendre that seems to underline his words in bold red ink. Spencer is too smart to have not noticed a thing like that. You don’t mention it—it all boils down to the same unspoken idea. 
Don’t let me stay, because I might not leave. 
“I will,” you sniff, finally stepping back and wiping your own tears. It hurts to lose his touch, but at least you know he’s not going anywhere for the next few hours. This, as opposed to everything else lately, can be a beginning instead of an end.  
At least, until he goes home. 
Three and a half hours later, after tea, an impromptu dinner comprised mostly of cheese and crackers, and several vinyl changes on your record player (which served only as background noise for your long, ambling conversations), things are seeming to wind down to a natural stopping point. Which you hate. The whole time you’d had a dull ache in your chest because talking to him was easier than breathing and you knew it wouldn’t last. There had been one or two false bottoms already—the first when you’d yawned around nine, and the second when you’d gotten up to do your skincare and brush your teeth half an hour later. Even then he’d just leaned against the doorframe, watching your reflection above the sink as you talked for fifteen more minutes. Now you stand across from each other in the kitchen, plates restacked and everything in order. Of course he’d insisted on helping you clean up. 
“I should go,” he says, with a soft sort of finality in his voice.  
“Is your carriage turning into a pumpkin?” you tease gently, to hide how much you don’t want him to leave. He smiles—a small, weary thing—but genuinely and endlessly charmed by you. 
“That among other things.” 
“Would you—would you walk me to my room first?” 
The hesitance is clear in his eyes and the way his lips part as if to say, ‘I don’t think that’s a good idea’, but you're sure he’s really going to leave in a moment and you’re also sure he won’t deny you this one small thing before he does. 
“Okay.” 
It’s a short, silent walk through the living room and down the hall to your bedroom door, but you can feel him trailing behind you the whole way. You stop in front of your open door, turning face to face with him.  
“Thanks,” you murmur.  
His lips pull into a melancholy smile. 
“Anytime.” 
There’s nothing left to do but wrap your arms around each other once more, tuck yourself into the you-sized space between his head and shoulder and hold on for as long as he’ll let you. The hug lingers for longer than is wise. Spencer adjusts his arms looped around your waist, pulling you closer, and you nuzzle against his neck, grateful that at least he seems as reluctant to let this end as you are.  
But eventually, it relaxes. Your hold on each other loosens. His face is just inches from yours, and you get to study every plane and valley and line like you’d thought you never would again. It seems he’s doing the same—losing himself in the luxury of seeing you up close. 
“Will you kiss me goodnight?” you whisper, unable to muster any self-consciousness though you know it’s a fool’s errand. Spencer strokes your waist. 
“I can’t do that, honey.” 
“Why not?” 
His voice is just as quiet as yours. It falters slightly as he speaks, so gently, so patiently. 
“Because we’re not together anymore.” 
“Why not?” 
Your feeble, desperate supplication sounds pitiable even to you. You’re not proud, but you can’t find it in yourself to be ashamed, either. All you want is an answer. But it’s like a child asking why the sky is blue, or the earth is round. There is a definitive explanation, but mostly, the adult will shrug, and say, that’s just how it is. 
Spencer’s eyes squeeze shut. His head tilts down. 
“We can’t do this again, sweetheart. You know why we’re not together.” 
In theory—yes. You’d had so many conversations when you’d broken up. It had been a long, painful process, spanning multiple all-nighters at his kitchen table, nursing coffee and trying to convince each other and yourselves that it was the right choice. But it just feels like a horrible, horrible mistake. You feel desperate to explain this to him before he slips away again—the words come out flustered, inelegant as you cling to him.
“But I don’t think I’m getting better without you. I tried, I tried so hard to be good on my own, but everything is worse and harder and—and we weren’t sure about it then, and I don’t think it was the right choice, because I still really need you. Like, all the time. I’m—it’s not getting better without you. Nothing got better.” 
He swallows, eyes darting between yours for an infinite second. You’re breathless and your heart is pounding after your confession—you can feel your eyes stinging with the few tears that managed to escape as you spoke. 
“Everything is worse,” he agrees shakily. “Everything. I’m—I’m getting disciplinary infractions from Hotch like I’m a child because I can’t focus on anything. Game of Thrones is the most complex literature I can comprehend right now. I had to use a calculator the other day.” 
You want to laugh, but nothing is funny until he’s yours again. 
“Then come back. Please come back, Spencer.” 
Finally, he leans closer, until your heads are pressed together, and his nose bumps yours, feather light. You're dizzy. You exhale. He inhales. 
“I don’t think I knew how to leave in the first place.” 
When he kisses you, it feels like home. 
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chastiefoul · 8 months
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valentines gone wrong ft. childe, scara, and neuvilette
a/n: yes. you read that right valentines work on september!! this is just something random i wanna write one day when i'm lying down and ofc i can't wait until february next year (also how is it alr almost 2 months since i posted something???) tags: just fluff, light-read, and everything in-between, modern au (?) just don't think too much abt it hehe - summary: it's valentines and of course you have plans to give sweets to your lover. however because one thing and another, you had to entrust it to someone else in hope it will be handed safely to them. what happened when it didn't?
childe
you went home excited, anticipating his reaction to your handmade sweets, however what greets you at the door was a sulky childe, who avoided eye contact as if his life depended on it as he limits himself to a a sentence everytime you ask him something.
“something happened today, babe?” you asked him worriedly, the chocolate was the back of your mind seeing the state of your boyfriend in. “oh something definitely should have happened,” he quipped, his lower mouth sticking out slightly. “that sounds like a dig at me, did i forgot something?” you asked as you follow his gaze to what he thought must be the most interesting flower vase ever. he shrugged, refusing to give you more.
frustrated by his rejection to tell you what’s wrong, you held his face with both of your palm, turning his face to yours. although the move met no resistance, childe still refused to look at you in the eyes and only now his childish grumbles turned into such a sad expression.
“baby? please tell me what i did,” you were gentle with it, rubbing your thumb below his eyes. “...late.”
“what?”
“chocolate. where’s mine? i saw you gave your friends one so i don’t think im crazy to expect one too, especially as your boyfriend.” he pouted and you swore it looked so adorable and so out-of-character of him that you wanted to kiss him—wait.
“huh? but i did give you one!” you claimed, confusion rose inside you. “huh? but i didn’t get it...” childe’s face matched your expression. “well technically i gave it to scara to give it to you.. did he not... give it to you?”
“i wouldn’t be this insufferable if i got one, you know that, but no he didn’t say anything—and also really babe? scara? the guy who hates and made fun of me every chance he got?” he crossed his arm, raising an eyebrow, as he questioned your questionable decision-making. “hey give me a break, i was in a rush there thinking i couldn’t give you the chocolate in time. and he made me say please three times before he said he would consider doing it-oh i see how i was wrong there.” your line of ramble humbled you, the silence was loud.
“maybe he just put it in your bag or something?” you offered. “you really think he’s someone who’d do that?” he asked. “in desperate times i’d give even scara the benefit of the doubt,” you stated, opening childe’s bag. and there it was, put nicely at the very top, your chocolate for your lover.
you smiled, for all the shit-talk scara gave everyone on a daily basis you knew you could count on him. “see? i knew he’s actually a big softie for stuff like this.”
childe practically runs to your side. “my chocolate? aw babe so you really didn’t forget me!” he peppered kisses all over your face, then clasping the sweet to his chest like it’s a new-born baby. “of course i’d never. but maybe next year i’ll just give it directly to you.”
“yeah? please do, today’s event just wasn’t great for my heart.”
neuvilette
“welcome home, dear.” you greeted him cheerily as he just arrived home. it was quite late, and you had entrust the chocolate you were supposed to give to him at a reasonable hour so he could enjoy it instead of giving it to him at home.
he kissed your temple in return, a smile you’re still head over heels for on his lips. but it doesnt quite reach his eyes. 
“what’s wrong?” you asked carefully. “nothing is wrong,” he replied, somehow looking nervous. “yet it’s strange for you to be looking so fidgety. tell me?”
“well,” he paused a little, stroking your hair as he pondered the best way to approach the sentence he’s about to say. “i saw you today giving chocolates to navia and wriothesley.. i couldn’t talk to you because i was in a rush to deal with an urgent case,” he said, not looking at you on the eyes. “oh, did that bother you? it’s just they’re such good friends of mine and it’s only friendship cookies-“
“no, dear of course not. i know you’re a loving person who always appreciate those around you, it’s just..”
“just?”
neuvilette looked like he didn’t hear the rest of the words after that you did make some for the white-haired male. a smile bloomed on his face as he shook his head. “no problem i will ask them about it tomorrow. i’m just delighted you kept me in your thoughts.” a gentle expression was loyal on his features. “well of course neuvillete, you hardly ever leave my thoughts, don’t you know?” he chuckled. “i’m familiar with that you see, considering you never leave mine as well.”
the next sentence was almost audible as he spoke. “do i not get one..?” he asked ever so softly sounding a little sad, his calloused hand ran across your arm, tracing along your vein as it touched your fingers and you're sure there's something wrong in your head because all you could think about that second was how adorable the usual charismatic man was being. yet you held your smile.
“of course you do! did it not reach you? i asked the guard in front of your door because i afraid i’d bother you at work hours. sorry neuvilette, i promised i made some for you, and i was so proud of it too...”
scara
“no i’m not.” he said, with the worst frown you’ve seen on him for a while and that’s saying a lot.
“you’re definitely sulking,” you said. “shut up,” he grumbled. “hey i was supposed to be one who’s doing the sulking. we’re nearing the end of the day and you haven’t even mentioned about the chocolate i gave you today!” you retorted out of frustration but most of all confusion because you had no idea what made your lover fall into such a bad mood.
“what.”
“what?”
“say that again,” scara said, “that i gave you chocolate?” you asked. “no you didn’t, you liar!” he complained, his frown deepened if that’s even possible. “wait what? i swear i asked childe to give it to you earlier today! i was ambushed by customers today at the shop so i was scared i couldn’t give it to you on time so i asked him. did it not get to you?” you explained.
“i came home empty-handed didn’t i? also really, that dense fool?” his displeasure was obvious upon the new information you couldn’t help but chuckle slightly. “don’t look so disgusted, he’s not that bad.”
“sure, although you know what’s bad? that i don’t have my chocolates right now.” he crossed his arm, fuming almost looking like a child who got their toys taken. “alright enough of your pouting. we’ll interogate him later. for now, i seem to have leftover ingredients, i’ll make you a new one.” you approached him, combing through the back of his hair as you planted a gentle kiss on his cheek. he replied by pulling you closer as he nuzzled into your neck. “it better be good,” he mumbled.
at the end you didn’t even make it to 5 minutes before scara followed you to the kitchen, insisting that he made it together too because he was ‘watching over you so you don’t mess up’ but personally i think he just felt bad because you need to make a new one and wanted to help you any way he can. that’s something he’d never admit even if there’s a gun pointing at his head, though.
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bunnyshideawayy · 29 days
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a rumored bastard and a proven, disinherited, legally illegitimate recognized bastard are not the same.
Rhaenyra’s sons are rumored bastards, i know the show has a lot of team green stans feeling bold but just as in the books, they are never legally considered bastards in the show either. they are speculated to be via their physical features and Laenor’s apparent sexuality, but since Laenor and the KING (btw Westeros is a absolute monarchy, meaning the king IS law) both claim all three boys as legitimate heirs, unless someone demands a medieval dna test, those kids are legally Laenor’s true sons.
this is apparently a very hard concept to understand for some, hell even Alicent in the show says something like “we can all tell” which fair point, but that is not proof enough. looks, accusations, and rumor are not the same as actual proof of adultery or bastardy.
someone i was having a “discussion” with used Joffrey as an example to point out a flaw in my logic, but ultimately proved my point. Joffrey was a rumored bastard. Ned himself had no more proof than Alicent does, just hair color and a hunch, so Joffrey was never legally disinherited from the line of succession. I hate to defend either of these men but King Robert never publicly disowned him and called him bastard, which is why Joffrey ascended to the Iron Throne. now the rumors did hurt, and caused huge political issues leading to the War of 5 Kings, which is exactly why Alicent and Team Green is so insistent that Rhaenyra’s children are illegitimate, they know they cannot legally or physically prove her children are bastards, especially when Laenor and the King are claiming them are true born, but they can spread the rumor and call into question Rhaenyra’s honesty and morality. think episode 8 when team green takes their chance with Vaemond to attempt a coup of sorts for the Driftmark Throne, why would the succession of Driftmark need to be settled if Rhaenyra’s sons are true born? why would Alicent / Otto need to make this decision in place of the sick king and mia lord of tides who both had already been stating Luke would inherit for years. it’s all apart of the scheme to tarnish Rhaenyra’s reputation as Vaemond has no other proof either, and promptly loses his head (both metaphorically and literally) by calling the recognized heir to the throne a whore and her children bastards with no proof in front of the whole court.
it is a political scheme on both sides, Alicent cannot prove anything, and Rhaenyra cannot disprove the rumors no matter how many times they are claimed as true born sons. Rhaenyra has to live in the comfort the law gives her, as legally her sons are seen as legitimate, and thus legally they are protected. and from an unbiased pov with both in universe and historical references, those kids might be bastards in actually but not legally.
Rhaenyra goes through hell to keep her children legally protected, not only for their sake but for hers because should the truth come out both her and Laenor would be seriously punished, i wouldn’t go as far as executed but that would depend on if Viserys was old and bed ridden or dead. which is why im making this incredibly long post repeating myself in every point. you can argue all day about Rhaenyra’s children and their parentage but i am making this to make it clear that her children are not *legally* bastards by Westeros law. in order for Jace, Luke, and Joffrey to be illegitimate bastards Laenor, Rhaenyra, Harwin, and/or Viserys would have to publicly acknowledge them as such and disinherit them. no, Laenor and Viserys dying do not magically make Rhaenyra’s children legal bastards either. they would, again, need to be claimed and proven as such and disinherited.
and at the end of it all, true or not true, the rumors made a lasting impact on the story. so much so this fandom is still debating this topic, and frankly i am dreading the season 2 release when all the bad takes and bad faith arguments start up again.
anyway other famous rumored bastards are in Targ history are:
Maegor
Daeron II
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bethanydelleman · 7 months
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Hello!
I rewatched Pride and Prejudice and it's surprising how my thoughts on it changed over the years 😃
When I was a teenager, Elizabeth Bennet was the plucky heroine that I wanted to be (lol) , now I'm older with a mortgage and responsibilities/bills, I'm like what was her plan in life?
Because she wasn't really educated per se (im thinking about how she answered lady Catherine about what she has to recommend her re:drawing, playing the piano etc) so I guess a 'career'(no matter how little it would be available at that time) was out of the question, but accepting marraige to the (admittedly obsequious) Mr Collins was also out of the question as well as Mr Darcys first proposal (which I get why sge turned it down!) ...I guess I'm asking what Elizabeth's plan for her future.
I've heard this from a lot of people upon re-read, "Why isn't Elizabeth more worried about her future?" I think there are a few things to note.
Early 1800s or not, Elizabeth is 20 years old when the novel begins (the average age of first marriage for women was 23). 27 year old Charlotte is in more of a future panic, but Elizabeth is still young. She has done practical thing like learn to play piano, but like most young people, she's probably just hoping for the best. And it's not like there is much she can actually do, Elizabeth is putting herself out there, she's dancing, she's playing piano, but otherwise she can just hurry up and wait. Her mother's marriage schemes are seen as vulgar and mostly backfire, and we would hardly want Elizabeth to act like Caroline. We read across Austen's novel's that women are largely stationary and it is the men who move in and out of their lives.
Also, I think a big part of Austen's point is that women are in a position where they feel the need to accept any and every proposal, because as Mr. Collins says, they may never receive another, but that this leads to misery (just look at the older couples and how many of them are unhappy!). While somewhat foolish from a financial perspective, Elizabeth is thinking about her long term happiness. She has watched her father turn bitter in an unequal relationship, she does not want that for herself. Elizabeth is choosing possible spinsterhood over being married to a person she knows she could not respect. Marrying for love, or at least on a basis of respect, is a big theme in Austen's novels. Let me add this quote from Mansfield Park to illustrate this point:
“I should have thought,” said Fanny, after a pause of recollection and exertion, “that every woman must have felt the possibility of a man’s not being approved, not being loved by some one of her sex at least, let him be ever so generally agreeable. Let him have all the perfections in the world, I think it ought not to be set down as certain that a man must be acceptable to every woman he may happen to like himself.... And, and—we think very differently of the nature of women, if they can imagine a woman so very soon capable of returning an affection as this seems to imply.”
So yes, Elizabeth Bennet isn't being financially prudent but she is being sensible in preserving her happiness. And for realism, we know Austen made this decision herself! She turned down an eligible offer.
Next, Mrs. Bennet is somewhat exaggerating: they are very unlikely to starve or be destitute. While it is never explicitly stated, Mr. Gardiner seems to be doing very well, and would probably very happily take at least Jane and Elizabeth if Mr. Bennet died. Mr. Philips is also doing well for a country attorney, he could take in his sister-in-law and nieces. It is going to suck, the Bennets should have planned better, but it's not the end of the world. We also do not know Mr. Bennet's age, but he may well only be in his late forties. He's no Mr. Woodhouse who may die tomorrow in a stiff breeze.
So what is Elizabeth's plan? She doesn't have one, she's 20. She's hoping life will throw her a man with a decent income that she doesn't hate. It works out in the end, but I don't think she would live to regret either turned down proposal if she had never met Darcy again.
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imtryingbuck · 8 months
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Affair
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~ gif not mine credit to owner ~
Affair
Summary: Y/n founds out about her husband’s affair.
Word count: 1207
Warnings: Angst, Bucky is not good in this im sorry. Sad yet strong reader. Infidelity. Sharon and Steve. Little teeny tiny bit of body hate. Swear words.
A/n: there’s a line from my favourite song of Adeles.
Masterlist
Part 2
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The day she found out her husband was having an affair it felt like time had stopped. Thousands of questions sworn inside her head, she didn’t blame her husband or the other woman nope she blamed herself. It was her fault her husband was unfaithful, it was her fault she had not been enough for him, it was her fault for not satisfying his needs. It was her fault. 
After the self-blaming and self-hating she moved on to anger. Angry at her husband betraying her, angry at the other woman - a woman she had called a friend for 15 years - angry at herself, just unadulterated anger. 
Then came the self-pity party, where all she did was cry and cry and cry. She would stand in front of the full body mirror just in her underwear, picking at every single detail on her skin hating what she saw in the reflection. Then she would cry even more due to the fact that after finally loving and being kind to her own body, she was back to hating it. However, she didn’t just feel sorry for herself, no, no she felt sorry for her husband, her children, her husband’s mistress and the husband of her husband’s mistress.
Oh and then there was denial - but that went straight out of her head pretty quickly, after all she did catch them going at it with her own two eyes.
And finally came acceptance. She accepted her husband’s extra marital affair, she accepted that she had been betrayed by two people close to her. Completely aware that her marriage was over and dead.
Her heart remained broken though, that would never change.
~~~
The sound of the door opening use to bring a smile on Y/ns face, sending her straight to the door awaiting him like a goddamn lapdog. Now though all it did was make her wonder which excuse she was going to be given. 
Sitting on the sofa with her knees pulled up staring at the tv screen, chuckling quietly to herself as Peter Griffin continues his antics, wondering to herself why Lois puts up with him. Already smelling the mistress’s perfume on him makes her roll her eyes. 
“Hey bab-“
“I filed for divorce.”
He actually has the audacity to act shocked “w-what do you mean? Bab-“
“Stop. Just stop. I know about your affair, I know you’ve been sleeping with Sharon for the past six months, probably longer I don’t know” mumbling the last part quietly “but all that matters is that I know so now we’re getting divorced.”
She sees him in her peripheral nervously shifting foot to foot, colour completely drained from his face, is that tears? Gross. Before he can even get a good enough excuse for his betrayal straight, she continues.
“Don’t say anything it’s not going to change my mind or decision. I spoke with my lawyer who thinks I’m being to kind - his words not mine - anyway I told him in don’t want money or the house from you. Custody will be split between us evenly” standing up wrapping her arms around herself “you know at first I wanted so many answers but now I just want to know one thing, do you think you can be honest for once? Do you actually think Sharon is going to want you know that I’m leaving you? Think you both can run off into the sunset and live happily ever after?” Using a baby like voice at the end she chuckles at his expression, she can’t tell if it’s heartbreak that she’s leaving him or heartbreak that his mistress isn’t going to want him anymore - laughable. 
“The answer is no by the way. I feel bad though, you both deserve each other. Both so wrapped up in your own selflessness that you were happy to ruin two marriages, two families! To betray, lie and deceive your spouses who happen to be friends! All for what? Sex?” Stepping back when he tries to reach out “don’t fucking touch me! Don’t you dare try and touch me AFTER you’ve been with her! What the actual fuck is wrong with you? And don’t you dare stand there and cry! You did this, you both did. Oh and Steve knows” Literally as she said that his phone started ringing “Go ahead and answer it’s probably your best friend or your mistress, go ahead James and answer” at the sound of his first name he flinched, he pulled his phone out and sighed, declining the call he looked back at the woman who he had the privilege of calling his wife. The mother of his children, the woman who he has loved from the moment he was introduced to her. The woman who he cheated on.
“I’m sorry” is all he could say, he really didn’t remember how the affair started or why on earth he continued it, he has this perfect wife at home, his other half his soulmate and he cheated, he couldn’t even give her a good enough excuse. His guilt was hitting like a ton of bricks, he betrayed his wife and his best friend all for a quick fuck that wasn’t even good.
“You’re sorry? I’m sorry too. I’m sorry that when the morning comes, you’re going to have no one. I feel for you James honestly - stop swaying you’re making me feel seasick, sit down.” Watching him sit on the chair she moves to sit where she was originally sat before.
“Listen I just want to get this off my chest before I go to bed okay, I have loved you so deeply that I honestly don’t think I’d ever stop loving you but James I can’t forgive you, maybe one day in the future I will but not right now. I have been stood by your side through every single thing that has happened to you, and yet you betray me. I don’t know what went wrong with us but whatever I did I’m sorry-“ when he tries to intervene she puts her hand up “Just listen! I’m sorry that our story has ended this way but i can’t trust you anymore or even stand the sight of you if I’m being honest. You have given me something that I can't live without, you mustn't underestimate that when you are in doubt. But this is where our story ends.” 
Wiping her tears with the sleeve of her jumper, she stands up stronger and taller than ever before. 
“You can sleep on the sofa or head to Sharon’s I know Steve said he’d be staying with Sam and Nat. Tomorrow I’ll be taking the kids to our new house and then I guess we’ll go from there” Shrugging her shoulders as she doesn’t know what else to say to him. “Goodnight James, I truly hope you all the best”
Once in the comfort of her bedroom she listens to hear his movements but all she can hear are his cries. Smiling sadly, she climbs into the bed, she fears the unknowing of what her future holds whilst also excited for it.
For the first time since she found out about her husband’s affair she sleeps peacefully.
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~ banners credit goes to @sweetpeapod ~
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hyewka · 8 months
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dominating..ceo soobin….dominating CEO SOOBIN!!!
using his tie as bondage ..haha im normal about this haha..but hear me out!!!!! hes a total nepo baby, getting the ceo position because of his father. different than his older brother in the sense that he thinks following in the steps of his father is his duty, none of that sense of “carrying tradition” translates well to his work though bcs he effing fucks up virtually everything that he touches. terrible at his job (nobody really tells him though) that his father has to literally hire someone to take it upon themselves to make the right decisions..so basically he has his CEO title for show. terrible at negotiation but not at asserting his dominance in the work space lol has the face of steel, not cracking a smile at any formal work events (not everyone knows hes playing with the cuffs of his stupidly expensive suit behind his back).
networking networking..networking!!! you approached mr. choi for networking. like everybody else. being friends with your ceo is unlikely, but being friendly with him would give you some perks. itd be hard though, considering the reputation he holds (cold, aloof, distant…bleh). with your simple black dress paired with pearl accessories to compliment it and your glass of wine in hand, you walk up to the rigid man by the weirdly empty bar. soobin is…awkward, really awkward. stumbles around his words when he offers a longer response to you, definitely is unprofessional with the way he just cant hide the blush on his cheeks and the fact that he even mildly finds you attractive. okay so change of plans, you’re flirting with your boss. harmless fun, everyones sort of drunk and in their own world with their plus ones anyway. “what department do you work in?”
“mm, you’re quite a curious guy.” you hide the amused smile managing to break through at seeing how his eyes widen, looking like his brains working at hundreds of miles per hour, “i’m in marketing.”
“oh, i hope you don’t take this the wrong way—sorry if you feel uncomfortable with so many questions.”
“i don’t mind them, keep asking.” you were definitely crossing an invisible territory with the way you bat your lashes at him, swirling your drink, pushing your tits up..just a bit.
himbo soobin getting more tipsy by the minute, he definitely becomes a little loose, a lot more confident with his words, though more susceptible to your teasing remarks, getting flustered every time you decide to slur your voice and actually hold eye contact.
now imagine you end up pushing soobin in a bathroom definitely not meant to fit two, at the party where hundreds of your coworkers are present, and giving him a fucking …handjob. “the bathroom?” he whispers, shocked at his whereabouts. you don’t pay him much mind as you hurriedly unbuckle his jeans, “raise your hands.” you order.
when you realize he didn’t listen to you, you take it upon yourself to take untie his tie, to which he audibly complains, “wait no—my outfitttt..”
“do you want to get like, the handjob of your life or are you going to keep being a whiny bitch?”
you’re not sure where the surge of confidence comes from (considering he could fire you with the snap of his fingers), but it shuts him up. using his expensive tie to keep his hands restrained, arms up high while you play with the himbos dick, haha…im gonna pass because the way hed be sooo whiny, whimpers slipping through but even more so when you experiment with dirty talk to see how he reacts—trying an insult about his work ethic, and how everyone sees him as incompetent, destined to throw the company to the ground..oh yup, there it is, his dick’s reacting. beads of precum’s dribbling down his tip, and you coo having found what he likes. “mr. choi likes getting degraded? imagine if your subordinates found out…”
“don’t—don’t tell anybody..please” its barely a whisper through the gasps you pull out of him every sudden speed up on his girth, but you could pick up on it.
you could’ve reassured him that you won’t, his secrets safe with you, pathetic ceo who likes to be dominated by a woman?!?!! scandalous!!! you obviously wouldn’t tell anybody, and you’ll make sure to clear that up after this but…having some fun wouldn’t hurt. not when you’re already giving your boss a fucking handjob. “my mouths tight shut… if you follow through. no cumming unless i say so.”
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hughesyodaddy43 · 1 month
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you're gonna be okay ⎸ J.H
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Jack Hughes x Reader synopsis : when Jack loses a big game, he comes over to seek support from his favourite person. word count: 1.5k warnings: sad jack, fluff, angst? Authors note: I have more fanfics coming soon, i have a range of them pre -planned with covers and titles and I read everyones request so if i don't get to yours then it's because i already have a story planned for that player or request. I hope you like this one :)
I slumped down on my bed, easily immersing myself in the world of fiction, every now and then munching on the bowl of popcorn I had sitting beside me. Jack was playing for team USA tonight so I was waiting patiently for him to message me that the game ended so we could call or hang out. Something about these big games excited me, not for the sport but for the post game interviews. 
It was nice to watch the interviews and read through the comments as if you couldn't just ask Jack the same questions yourself and actually get real and honest answers. 
You didn't know the final score yet so you went on youtube to see if a post game interview was up and you were met with the prettiest blue puppy dog eyes you've ever seen, but you knew jack and this was definitely not gonna be a happy interview. You click on the video and are met with a saddened Jack on the verge of tears, your heart aches for him as you listen to his answers; you were mad that they would interview a 17year old on the verge of tears and still ask the most idiotic questions. 
I only made it about 5 minutes into the video before I  got a message on my phone.
Jack 💘:  I’m outside. 
                                                 Okay, coming down now.         
I  walk down towards the front door and see a dishevelled jack peering back at me.
“Hi. Can I come in?” The young hockey player asks while twirling with his fingers. 
“Of course” I answer, slightly smiling at him as I move my body so he can slip past me. 
He walks through my doorway and up towards my room, I trail behind him closely up until he reaches my bed and slumps down on it , exhaustion evident on his face as he looks up at me standing in the doorway. “Are you okay?” I asked quietly, not wanting to make him feel worse, though judging by the way his lip quivered and his head shook, I'm not sure that was the right decision. 
“We lost” he says just above a whisper 
“Hm?” I walked closer to him and sat beside him, reaching over to hold his hand that he was fiddling with in his lap. “We lost the game, we lost everything” he states, audible this time.
“Oh. well it’s okay-” "NO ITS NOT OKAY” Jack yells, standing up and turning to face me, running his hands through his freshly washed hair. “It's not okay, I let my team down, I let my parents down, I've let everyone down and I'm so tired” he rants on, quieting down towards the end. 
“Hey, hey . It is okay, alright? Just because you've lost this game, doesn't mean you've lost everything"
"yes it does, you have no idea what it's like to lose something like this. You don't have to worry about making sure you end up drafted. You'll never know.” ' Jack replies quickly, raising his voice once  again 
“you havent lost everything,i know it feels like it and i know you’re upset. But please don’t start yelling at me when I'm just trying to help you.'' He looks at me after I say this, tears filling up his eyes.
 “You’re right, im sorry. I shouldn't have yelled at you, I'm just so angry at myself, I could've played better , we could've won but I let everyone down." I stand up and walk in front of him 
“Hockey is a team sport, Jack. One loss isn't your fault, besides all hockey players lose big games, even the best of the best.” Jack doesn't reply, instead he just nods his head and wipes a falling tear from his cheek.
“You’re an amazing player Jack, anyone can see that. You played well, and so did everyone else. Losses happen, it wouldn't be competitive if nobody lost.” He nods again, looking down at the ground. 
I sigh before continuing “why don't we just lay down and watch a movie?hm?” i ask 
The boy sniffles before nodding, replying with a light yeah as he makes his way back over to my bed. He sits against the headboard and watches me as I sit down and open my laptop. Stupidly i forgot to close the youtube tab i had opened from his interview and there it was, my boys said face displayed on my computer. I look over at Jack, he stares at the screen then back at me. 
“Sorry, i usually watch your post game interviews” i apologise.``its okay, i think its cute you watch my interviews” he smiles lightly at me, his beautiful smile that i didnt think i'd see tonight was there on display “what can i say? You're just too hard to resist” I joke, gaining a light chuckle from the boy  before fixing my eyes back to the screen so we can pick something to watch.
X
X
“Do you really think everything will be okay?” Jack asks in a mumble. “Mhm, you're gonna be okay” Jack leans up to face me “i'm gonna be okay” he repeats “you’re gonna be okay” i reply before he leans in and presses his soft lips on mine, we pull away and jack returns to his previous position, snuggling his face into my neck. “Goodnight, Jack. Love you” i say softly “mm night, love you too y/nn” jack replies before swiftly drifting off to a much needed sleep.
I wrap my arms around Jack in a warm embrace, sinking down into the pillows and pulling the blanket up higher. Light snores are audible from the boy as he leans into my touch, even when he's sleeping, he still manages to tighten his arms around me, lightly rubbing circles on my skin from where my shirt rolled up. I play with his hair while  allowing my eyes to grow heavy and fall into a peaceful slumber. Comfortable with the outcome of this otherwise devastating night
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tonyspank · 8 months
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HEART RACING
Warnings: 8k+ words, bad writing, kissing, relationship started from a bet, slightly ooc vada (idk?) reader has she/her pronouns, ur best friends is kinda a dick ig
A/N: this was highly inspired by shes all that + i'm still kinda on my break, sorry if it seems like im ignoring asks
Summary: You take on a bet from your best friend, but what happens when you start regretting your decision.
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"I'm so excited." Jordan, your childhood best friend says, smiling at you. You narrow your eyes at the brunette boy, adjusting your bookbag strap that was slipping off your shoulder. "I wonder what dish your mom is going to make this time." He adds on, that goofy smile of his never leaves his face.
"Yeah." You mumble, trying to hide your nerves about the upcoming break. "Yeah, I hope it's something delicious," you reply, forcing a smile. Jordan reads you like a book, tilting his head before letting out a soft laugh.
"Don't tell me you're worried about your parents bothering you about having a girlfriend." You shake your head, furrowing your eyebrows, as your eyes stay attached to the trail in front of you.
"It's just... this happens every holiday! Oh, Y/N, where's your girlfriend? Oh, Y/N! Who's the lucky girl?" You mock your parents before letting out a sigh and stopping your walk to face Jordan.
"Why can't I just be single and enjoy my high school experience without constantly being questioned about my love life?" you vent, frustration evident in your voice. Jordan raises an eyebrow, a smile tugging at the corners of his lips. "To be fair, you haven't brought a girl home since freshman year. And you're now a senior. Did you see how happy they were?"
You roll your eyes at Jordan, "What about Ana? I brought her home." Jordan chuckles, shaking his head. "Ana doesn't count. You faked a relationship, and your parents read right through it. They know you too well."
You sigh, memories of that awkward dinner with Ana and your parents flooding back. "Yeah, that was a disaster. I guess I just wanted to avoid the constant interrogation for a while."  Jordan smirks. "Maybe it's time you actually find someone worth bringing home."
"Yeah, sure. It wouldn't be hard to, I just need someone to be able to play the part. My parents do not care who I date whatsoever, just as long as I'm dating them." You tell him, scratching your eyebrow.
Jordan raises an eyebrow, a mischievous glint in his eyes. "You wanna bet on it?" You raise an eyebrow in response, curious about what Jordan has in mind. "What kind of bet are we talking about here?"
"I pick the girl, and you have to bring her home to meet your parents on Christmas," Jordan says, a smirk playing on his lips. "And if you succeed, I'll do your math homework for the rest of the year."
You eye Jordan before holding out your hand. "Deal." Jordan's smile widens as he shakes your hand. "Let's go find your lover."  You laugh, following Jordan as the two of you start scanning the school for potential candidates.
"What about her?" You ask Jordan, nodding your head in the direction of a girl blowing bubbles. Jordan glances over at the girl blowing bubbles and raises an eyebrow. "Hmm, she seems carefree and fun-loving. Definitely a possibility," he teases. "But no!"
You continue searching, your eyes landing on a girl sitting alone in the library, engrossed in a book. "What about her?" you suggest to Jordan, pointing her out. Jordan observes her for a moment before responding, "Too boring."
"Ohhh, maybe her!" Jordan laughs loudly, pointing at a girl picking out her wedgie. You chuckle at Jordan's suggestion, but quickly shake your head. "I don't think so," you say, trying to stifle your laughter. "Let's keep looking."
"Hey! I'm the one picking here. I have the go-to." You shake your head. "Then pick."
Just as you say that a girl trips on her own shoelaces and stumbles forward, nearly falling face-first, Jordan bursts into laughter. "I think we have a winner!" You look over at the girl, who searches around to see if anyone has seen her embarrassing moment. She quickly regains her composure and brushes off the incident, pretending like nothing happened.
"Vada Cavell?" You yell at Jordan, "You've gotta be joking, man." Jordan chuckles and shrugs. "Hey, you said to pick. And she definitely caught my attention with that little stumble." You roll your eyes, not convinced that this is the best choice for your fake partner.
"Look. Ugly, bad personality, a bit on the smelly side, I can handle." You glance back at Vada, sighing.
"But I draw the line at someone who can't even walk without tripping over their own feet," you say, exasperated. Jordan laughs again, defending his choice. "A bet is a bet!" You open your mouth to argue again, but Jordan beats you.
"Hey, if I were you, I wouldn't be wasting my time. Because according to my calculations, you only have about four weeks to turn her into your perfect fake partner before Christmas. And if Vada Cavell is going to be that somebody, you've pretty much got your work cut off for you. "
You sigh and reluctantly agree, knowing that you can't back out of the bet now. You walk over to Vada Cavell, who is sitting with a blonde-haired girl at a table, engrossed in her phone.
"Hi, Vada. You got a second?" You ask, trying to sound casual as you approach her. Vada looks up from her phone with a hint of curiosity in her eyes. Mia, the blonde-haired girl, drops her jaw at the sight of you. You send her a small smile.
"Hi, Mia. I saw your soccer video on Instagram. "It was really impressive," you compliment, trying to make small talk. Vada raises an eyebrow, while Mia blushes. "You watch my videos?"
"You don't play soccer." Vada states matter-of-factly, glaring at her best friend. Mia looks sheepish, realizing your mistake. "Oh, sorry." You tell Mia who quickly brushes off the comment with a dismissive wave.
"So, Vada, listen," you begin, trying to redirect the conversation. "I was wondering maybe if you wanna..." Vada quickly stands up, interrupting you. "Let's go, Mia."
Mia gives you an apologetic smile before following Vada, leaving you feeling slightly embarrassed and rejected. You sigh, realizing that your attempt to ask Vada out didn't go as planned. "...embarrass me horribly in front of all these people?" You finish trailing off to yourself. You look back at Jordan, who's bending over, trying to stop himself from laughing so hard.
With a tight-lipped smile, you send him the finger, knowing that he's enjoying your embarrassment a little too much.
-
This was a bet, and you needed to win it. It wasn't like you were failing any of your classes, but you were tired of all the math homework Mr. Smith kept assigning. Plus, you'd love to see the defeated look on Jordan's face after Vada, and you successfully convinced your parents you found yourself a girlfriend.
In order to win this bet, you had to text Mia through Instagram direct messages and ask her where you could find Vada after school. Mia sent you a screenshot of Vada's Find My Phone, showing her location in a downtown park. You knew this was your chance to prove Jordan wrong and finally have some peace from Mr. Smith's math assignments.
Vada's eyes widen as she sees you walking closer to her, regardless, you send her your charming smile, which she doesn't reciprocate. "You know stalking is illegal in all 50 states, right?" Vada says, her voice laced with caution.
You quickly assure her that you were just trying to find her so you could talk. "I apologize if it seemed like stalking, but I genuinely wanted to have a conversation with you," you explain, hoping to ease her concerns.
"I'm not smart." Vada admits her eyes never leave yours. "What?" You breathe out a laugh, confused. "What? You think that I can tutor you or something?" Vada continues, a hint of vulnerability in her voice. "You're probably thinking, Oh, there's Vada, she dresses like a hippie—"
"Vada."
"—Barely has any friends."
"Vada."
"—She must at least be smart." You cut her off gently, placing a hand on her arm. "Vada, I have the fourth highest GPA in our grade." Vada looks at you with surprise evident in her eyes. "Really?" she asks, her voice filled with disbelief.
"Yes, really," you reply reassuringly. "It's true." You slightly jump at the sudden voice. Turning around, you see Vada's other best friend, Nick, sitting a few feet away.
"So what do you want? Is this some sort of dork outreach program?" Vada asks, rolling her eyes. "No, Vada," you say calmly, trying to hide your frustration. "I just wanted to hang out."
Vada raises an eyebrow, skeptical of your intentions. "Just hang out? With us?" she questions, her tone still laced with doubt. You nod, hoping to convince her that you genuinely want to enjoy their company. "Yeah, I thought it would be fun to get to know some new people," you explain, hoping she'll give you a chance.
"Sure, me and Vada were about to go to this stand-up comedy club. You can have my ticket if you want." Nick shrugs, ignoring the confused glare from his best friend.
Vada looks at Nick in surprise, clearly not expecting him to offer his ticket. "Really? You're giving up your ticket for her?" she asks, very confused. Nick shrugs again, flashing a grin while he holds out his ticket for you.
You take the ticket with a grateful smile, "Thank you, Nick. Are you sure? I could just buy my own if you want to go too." Nick shakes his head, "Nah, I've gotta go study for my presentation anyway." His phone chimes right after, and he quickly checks it, confirming his need to leave.
"Well, have fun at the club! Let me know how it goes," he says before hurriedly walking away. You watch him go, feeling a mix of gratitude and curiosity about why he would give up his ticket for you.
You send Vada a smile, "I guess I'm your plus one tonight." Vada narrows her eyes at you, still confused about why you, one of the most popular students in school, is so fascinated with her. "I'm still confused about why you're putting on this act. Are you trying to impress someone, or is there another reason behind it?"
You furrow your eyebrows, letting out a small laugh. "Are you always this skeptical? I assure you, there's no ulterior motive. I simply wanted to enjoy your company and spend the evening with you." Vada's expression softens slightly, but she still seems hesitant.
"Well, we should get going." Vada mumbles, brushing a small strand of hair behind her ear.
You follow Vada down the slightly busy streets, neon lights illuminating the sidewalks as people bustle by. You can't help but notice Vada's occasional glances in your direction, her guarded demeanor slowly melting away.
"I like your jewelry." It's unique and really suits your style," you comment, trying to ease the tension. Vada's face lights up with a genuine smile as she thanks you for the compliment.
"Do you always wear that letterman jacket? You look like you came straight out of a 90s movie." Vada says, laughing softly. "Oh, are you going to be an act too for this stand-up comedy thing?" You ask, joking.
"But, yeah, it's kind of my signature look," you reply with a chuckle. "I've always been drawn to that vintage aesthetic." Vada nods, her curiosity evident as she asks, "So, what other things inspire your style?"
"I don't know... I normally thrift a lot of my clothes," you admit. "Whether it's someone's old band t-shirt or their grandpa's old sweater, I love finding unique pieces. I also take inspiration from old photographs and films, especially from the 60s and 70s."
Vada smiles, clearly intrigued by your explanation. "I'm not a huge fashion before myself, but I don't know, I just like to be comfortable." You glance down at Vada's baggy attire, noticing the loose-fitting jeans and oversized hoodie.
"I totally get that," you reply. "Comfort is definitely important, and there's no right or wrong way to express yourself through fashion. It's all about finding what makes you feel good." Vada nods in agreement, playing with the drawstring on her hoodie.
-
There's an awkward silence as the comedian fails to deliver the punchline of his joke. Vada laughs in her own hand, trying not to be too loud. You can't help but smile as you glance at the shorter girl, confused. You lean into her ear, "I'm so confused. How was that funny?"
Vada chuckles and whispers back, "It wasn't. It was funny how no one was laughing." You glance around the room before laughing a bit yourself. She was right. Seeing the confused looks on everyone's faces made the situation even more amusing. It was as if the entire audience collectively missed the punchline.
You begin laughing even harder, unable to contain your amusement. The more you think about it, the funnier it becomes. Vada joins in on your laughter, hiding her face behind her hand as tears of laughter stream down her face.
"Why are you laughing, huh? You think it's easy to stand up here and try and do something you love?" The male comedian asks you, obviously upset that you're laughing at his expense. You quickly compose yourself, glancing at Vada, whose eyes are wide as she smiles, trying not to laugh again.
You raise your hand, trying to apologize for the misunderstanding, but the comedian interrupts you. "Well, if you think it's so easy, why don't you come up here and give it a shot?" he challenges, pointing towards the stage.
You shake your head with a tiny smile on your lips. "Come on, come up here." You squint your eyes as a light begins to shine on you from the stage. The audience starts cheering and encouraging you to take the comedian's challenge.
You look at Vada, "Go!" She says this, smiling as she pushes you from your seat. Reluctantly, you take a deep breath and make your way towards the stage, your heart beating in your chest. The comedian hands you the microphone with a smug look on his face.
Your shaky hands take the microphone, "Uh..." Your voice trembles as you try to gather your thoughts. You glance at an audience member who has a gutair strapped around their shoulder, and a lightbulb goes off in your head. "I'm not a comedian, but I can try and entertain you all another way."
With a nervous smile, you motion towards the audience member with the guitar, saying, "Can I borrow that for a second?" The audience member hesitates for a moment, but then nods and hands you the guitar. You place the microphone on its stand before stepping forward and strumming a few chords to test the sound.
"Something bad is bout' to happen to me. Why I feel this way, I don't know, baby." You sing with a raspy voice, closing your eyes and letting the music take over.
The crowd falls silent, captivated by the raw emotion in your performance. Vada is shocked, her eyes widening as she watches you on stage. She had no idea you could sing.
"I think of her so much it drives me crazy. I just don't want her to leave me."
You continue to sing Steve Lacy's iconic lyrics, pouring your heart out on stage. You hit the high notes, sending chills down the spines of everyone in the audience. This was much better than the comedy act they were just witnessing.
When you finish the song, Vada's the first one standing up and clapping, with others soon following. You open your eyes to see the crowd on their feet, their applause echoing through the venue. The look of surprise and admiration on Vada's face is priceless, and you can't help but smile broadly.
You push open the door to leave the club and are immediately greeted by a rush of cool night air. "That was so awesome! Just like...going up there and performing in front of all those people, it's such a rush," you exclaim, your eyes still shining with excitement.
Vada nods, her dimples deepening as she grins. "I never expected you to be such a natural on stage. It's like you were born to perform," she says, her voice filled with genuine admiration.
The two of you stop walking as you reach the edge of the sidewalk, taking a moment to catch your breath and let the adrenaline settle. The city lights twinkle above you, casting a magical glow on the vibrant streets below.
You glance over to Vada, and she glances back at you with a faint smile playing on her lips. "You hungry?" You ask, gesturing towards a nearby food truck. The tantalizing aroma of sizzling street food fills the air, making your stomach growl in response. Vada's eyes light up at the suggestion, and she nods eagerly, her excitement matching your own.
-
Vada smiles, her hair blowing in the wind due to the drop-top on your convertible. It's been three weeks since the comedy club, but the memory of that night still brings a smile to your face. The chemistry between you and Vada is undeniable, and you can't help but wonder what other adventures await the two of you.
Kali Uchis blasts through your speakers, filling the car with her soulful melodies. The warm sun kisses your skin as you drive along the scenic coastal road, creating the perfect backdrop for a carefree summer day.
You catch a glimpse of Vada through the side mirror, her hair blowing in the wind, and a contagious laugh escaping her lips. The connection between you two feels effortless, as if you've known each other for years.
"I just wanna get high with my lover!" Vada sings along to the lyrics, and you join in, "Veo una muñeca cuando miro en el espejo!"
Vada leans in closer to you, kissing your cheek gently while she sings more of the lyrics. "Kiss, kiss! Looking dolly, I think I might go out tonight. I just wanna ride get high in the moonlight."
The song proceeds to play, and your singing becomes more enthusiastic, matching Vada's energy. You both dance and laugh, completely lost in the moment. Soon, you both arrive at the beach, your phone ringing as you step outside the car.
"Hello?" You answer the phone and hear Jordan's voice on the other end. "Y/N! Where are you? I just stopped by your house, and you weren't there. I wanted to hang out tonight."
Vada waits patiently for you to end the phone call, holding all of your stuff in her hands.
"Oh, I'm uh...I'm not home right now." You mumble into the phone, scratching your nose. "Well, no shit. Where are you?"
"I'm actually at the beach with Vada," you reply, glancing at Vada, who raises an eyebrow curiously. "But maybe we can hang out tomorrow." You can basically hear the grin on Jordan's face.
"The beach, huh? You and Vada have been hanging out nearly every damn day. Don't tell me you're actually enjoying this bet, Y/LN." You chuckle and respond, "Goodbye, Jordan."
You quickly end the call, sending Vada a smile. You take the items from her hands, thankful for her help. As you start setting up your spot on the beach, Vada asks, "So, what did Jordan want?"
"To bother me," you reply with a dismissive wave. "He's always trying to pry into my business." Vada raises an eyebrow, clearly intrigued, but respects your privacy and doesn't press further. A part of you feels bad for becoming friends with Vada under such circumstances. She was a chill and easygoing person, and you found yourself truly enjoying yourself around her.
You couldn't help but wonder if you should tell her about the bet going on between you and Jordan or if you should just end the friendship altogether. It was a difficult decision to make, as you didn't want to risk losing the connection you had with Vada, but at the same time, keeping such a secret felt dishonest.
"Hey, where's the pump for this?" Vada asks, holding up the beach ball you packed with the rest of the beach gear. You smile, grateful for the distraction from your internal dilemma, and point her in the direction of the pump, except it's not there.
"Oh, shit." You frantically search through the beach bag, realizing that you must have forgotten to pack the pump. "Here, I'll just blow into it." You offer, trying to come up with a quick solution. However, as you start blowing into the beach ball, you quickly realize that it's going to take a lot more effort than you anticipated.
You feel yourself getting lightheaded as you continue to blow into the beach ball, desperately trying to inflate it. Vada giggles at your struggle, you send her a playful glare, but her laughter only encourages you to keep going.
"What if we take turns?" Vada suggests, hoping to alleviate some of the strain on you. You gratefully agree, handing her the faintly inflated beach ball. You expect her to wipe off the ball since your mouth was in fact directly on it, but she doesn't seem to mind.
Your heart begins racing. You basically just shared a kiss with Vada, even if it was through a beach ball. The thought of it sends a rush of excitement through your veins.
Vada hands you the ball back, slightly out of breath. You smile, hesitating for a moment before placing your lips on the ball again. After a while, the ball is fully inflated, and you both start tossing it back and forth, laughing and enjoying each other's company.
"Don't let it drop!" Vada yells out, her laughter echoing across the beach. You run as fast as you can, determined to keep the ball in the air. The sand squishes between your toes as you dive to smack it back into the air. The sound of the ball hitting your palm fills the air, creating a rhythmic pattern that matches the beat of your racing heart.
"God, do you play volleyball?" Vada asks, her eyes widening with excitement. You shake your head, catching your breath, and reply, "No, but I guess I could give it a try!"
You smack the ball a bit too hard, and it flies over Vada's head, landing in the sand behind her. She turns around, a playful grin on her face, and says, "I'm definitely not getting that." You chuckle, running over to retrieve the ball. Before you can, someone kicks it away, sending it rolling further down the beach.
"The fuck—" you stop yourself, looking up and noticing Jordan. Jordan, with a mischievous smirk on his face, shrugs and says, "Oops, my bad! Thought I'd give you a challenge."
"What are you doing here?" you ask, slightly annoyed by Jordan's interference. He chuckles and replies, "Just enjoying the beach with my friends."
You look behind him, noticing he's brought company—some of your friends and other people you've hung around with before. They wave at you, smiling and clearly excited to see you. Jordan adds, "We thought it would be fun to have a little gathering here. Hope you don't mind."
You narrow your eyes at your best friend. "You're an asshole. You're only doing this because I told you I was hanging out with Vada here." Jordan raises an eyebrow, feigning innocence. "Come on, don't be like that. It's just a coincidence that you're both here too."
You let out a sigh, realizing that Jordan's actions were most likely intentional. Despite feeling annoyed, you decide to put aside your frustration and make the best of the situation. "Alright, fine. Now go get my beach ball."
Jordan smirks, clearly enjoying the power he holds over you. "Sure thing, but only if you promise to introduce me to Vada later." You roll your eyes, knowing that Jordan's ulterior motives are far from innocent.
You walk over to Vada, plopping down beside her on her towel. She looks up at you with a smile, unaware of the tension between you and Jordan. "Sorry about that. He just invited himself...and everyone else."
Vada smiles, shaking her head. "It's okay. If we're going to be friends, I'd have to meet your other friends anyway." You chuckle, relieved that Vada doesn't seem bothered by Jordan's presence.
You begin unbuttoning your shirt, feeling a bit hot in it, leaving you in your white tank top. Vada glances over at you, her eyes lingering for a moment before she looks away, a faint blush creeping onto her cheeks.
Jordan walks over and throws the beach ball, obviously aiming to hit your face. You quickly catch it, sending your best friend a glare. Jordan lets out a silly laugh, clearly enjoying the playful banter. Vada raises an eyebrow at Jordan's antics, but her smile remains intact as she watches the interaction between the two of you.
"Someone has the guns out." Austin, another one of your friends says, walking toward the group with a mischievous grin. You roll your eyes at his comment, playfully flexing your muscles in response.
"You mean these?" You flex your biceps, exaggerating the muscles for comedic effect. Austin chuckles and nods, teasingly adding, "Yeah, those tiny peashooters." You playfully throw the ball at him, pretending to be offended by his remark.
"Alright, stop showing off in front of the pretty lady." Jordan teases, winking at Vada. Vada's face breaks into confusion, as she wonders if Jordan's comment was meant as a compliment or a joke. She looks at Austin for clarification, who shrugs and smirks, leaving her even more uncertain about the situation.
"Let's play a full game of volleyball," Austin suggests, picking up the beachball that had been thrown at him. Vada eagerly agrees, grateful for the distraction from the awkward tension between Jordan and herself.
You all split into two teams, with Vada and Jordan on one side and Austin and you on the other. Jordan serves the ball with a powerful swing, causing Austin to dive to the sand to make a save.
"Stop trying so hard, bitch!" Austin yells at Jordan with a smile on his lips. Jordan laughs, brushing off the comment with a playful smirk. The friendly banter between them lightens the atmosphere, allowing everyone to relax and enjoy the game even more.
Mid-game, Vada takes off her slightly baggy shirt, which she tied with a knot at the front, revealing her bikini. You notice Jordan staring at Vada, his eyes lingering on her, causing jealousy to rise within you.
You smack the ball against Jordan's head, catching him off guard and breaking his gaze. He glares at you, earning a shrug, as you innocently raise your hands in defense. "You had a bug on your head."
-
You're dropping Vada off at her house after the game when she turns to you with a smile. "Thanks for saving me from Jordan's ogling," she says, playfully nudging your arm. "I owe you one."
You smile, blushing a bit. "You saw that?" You ask, your eye's widening slightly. Vada chuckles and nods, her eyes twinkling mischievously. "Oh, I definitely saw that. You were like my personal superhero swooping in to save the day."
"Well, I couldn't let him make you uncomfortable," you reply, feeling a surge of protectiveness. "I'm always here to look out for you." Vada's smile widens, and she leans in closer. You glance behind her and say, "I could walk you to the door.
Vada blinks and looks at you, her expression softening. "Sure." You quickly get out of the car, making your way to Vada's side. Shoving your hands in your pockets to hide your nerves, you match Vada's pace as you both walk towards her front door. The night air is cool, but the warmth of Vada's presence makes it feel comforting.
"If you want, we could hang out tomorrow?" You ask, hoping to spend more time with Vada. Before she could respond, her front door flies open. A short figure emerges from the doorway, causing both you and Vada to pause. It's Vada's younger sister who greets you with a friendly smile.
"Hey, guys! What are you up to?" she asks, oblivious to the tension in the air.
"Oh my god, Amelia." Vada exclaims, clearly annoyed with her younger sister's interruption. Amelia shrugs innocently, not realizing the impact of her sudden appearance. Vada takes a deep breath, trying to calm herself before addressing the situation.
"Mom! Vada brought a lesbian home!" Amelia shouts, slightly turning her head towards her mother, who is in the next room.
Everyone freezes, unsure of how to react to Amelia's unexpected announcement. Vada's face turns red with embarrassment while you thin out your lips, confused and a bit amused.
Vada's mouth drops. "I am so sorry." She says to you, her voice filled with genuine remorse. You shrug her off while Amelia gasps. "Oh, are you not a lesbian?"
You chuckle, "Um...I do like girls." Before Amelia could press you for more information, Vada's mom appears in the doorway. "What's going on here?" she asks, her voice laced with worry. Vada quickly explains the situation, hoping to diffuse any potential tension.
"I was just dropping Vada off from the beach," you also add, trying to ease any concerns. "We were just having a casual conversation, nothing serious." Vada's mom looks relieved and nods understandingly.
"Well, as long as everyone is okay," she says with a smile. You exchange a grateful glance with Vada, grateful for her mom's understanding.
"Would you like to stay for dinner?" Vada's mom offers, wanting to extend her gratitude for your honesty and reassure you that everything is alright. You glance at Vada, who stares at her mom with a shocked expression. "That would be really nice," you respond, feeling touched by Vada's mom's kindness.
Dinner was fun. Amelia had no filter, which made everything hilarious and entertaining. She shared funny and embarrassing stories of Vada, which Vada tries to interrupt with playful protests. Despite the initial shock, Vada soon joins in on the laughter, realizing that her sister's antics brought out a huge and genuine smile on your face.
There were also serious moments during dinner where Vada's parents questioned you about your future plans and aspirations. They were genuinely interested in your goals and offered advice and support. It was refreshing to have such meaningful conversations with Vada's family, making you feel like a valued member of their circle.
You throw yourself on Vada's bed, falling face first onto the soft pillows. Vada plops on top of your back, laughing at your dramatic entrance. She soon rolls off of you, and you lay on your back, gazing up at the ceiling.
Vada was such a breath of fresh air in your life. Her carefree spirit is infectious, and you can't help but feel happy every single time you're around her.
She has a way of making even the simplest moments feel special, and her laughter is like music to your ears. Being friends with Vada has brought so much joy and light into your life, and you can't imagine what it would be like without her.
Fuck this bet, you think to yourself. Vada's friendship is worth so much more than any silly wager.
"You look deep in thought." Vada's voice interrupts your contemplation, pulling you back to the present moment.  "What's on your mind?" she asks, her eyes filled with genuine concern.
You turn your head towards Vada, a small smile forming on your lips. "I was just thinking about how grateful I am to have you as a friend," you say sincerely. "Your friendship means the world to me."
"You're so sappy." Vada mumbles, laughing softly. You break out into a smile. "I'm pouring my heart out here, c'mon!" You tease playfully, putting on an Italian accent.
Vada rolls her eyes, but her smile betrays her amusement. "That was one of the worst Italian accents I've ever heard," she says, chuckling. "But...you mean a lot to me too."
You feel a warm rush of affection as Vada's words sink in. "I'm glad to hear that," you reply, licking your lips. A comfortable silence falls over the two of you as you both bask in the genuine connection and shared vulnerability. Your eyes never leave each other, as if speaking a language that only the two of you understand.
"Is that all?" Vada breaks the silence. "Or is there something else you want to say?"
"Be my girlfriend?" Vada's eyes widen with surprise, and she stares at you.  She takes a moment to process your words before responding, "Okay."
-
"I'm even more excited than I was." Jordan smiles, "I can't believe you got away with that." You shake your head at your best friend, an eye roll following.
"No, seriously. You asked her to be your girlfriend, it's barely been a month, and you didn't even kiss her after? Shits crazy."
You put the last plate on the table, "Shut the fuck up, Jordan."
Jordan chuckles, raising his hands in surrender. "Alright, alright, I'll drop it. But seriously, man, you might've won this bet. Still gotta get the parents approval, though."
You let out a sigh, saying, "Maybe we should drop this bet, man." Jordan raises an eyebrow, a mischievous grin forming on his face. "Are you getting cold feet already? Come on, don't tell me you're chickening out now."
You shoot him a glare but can't help but feel a twinge of doubt. "It's just... I don't want to risk ruining our friendship over some stupid bet." Jordan starts to smirk. "Oh shit, you actually caught feeling for her? You can't be serious."
You roll your eyes, trying to brush off Jordan's teasing. "So, what? She's a nice girl, and I don't want to mess things up with this stupid bet about her."
Jordan chuckles, bringing his fist to his mouth. "I can't believe you're actually considering backing out because of a little crush. You've never been one to shy away from a challenge before."
He sighs, adding to his argument. "How about this? If your parents go for it, we'll drop the bet. But if they don't, you have to tell her it was a bet and apologize for any hurt feelings. It's only fair to give her the truth and a chance to decide if she still wants to pursue a relationship with you."
"Fine." You mutter, leaving the room with a heavy sigh.
Vada arrives at your doorstep, a nervous smile on her face. She seems unaware of the bet that has been made and the doubts that have been plaguing you. As you open the door, you can't help but wonder if this could be the start of something real or if it's all just a game that will eventually come crashing down.
You bring Vada into a hug, mumbling into her ear, "I'm glad you're here." Vada returns the hug, sighing contentedly. You pull away, looking into her eyes.
"My dad is in the kitchen." Vada nods, hearing Bad Bunny blaring from the speakers. "Where's your mom?" You begin walking toward the kitchen, "She's in the living room, finishing up the tree. I'll introduce you to her later. Let's go say hi to my dad first." Vada smiles and follows you, playing with her ring as you lead the way.
"Una dominicana que es uva bombón!" Your dad shouts, singing the lyrics. Jordan joins in, singing the next line. "Uva, uva bombón!" You facepalm, shaking your head at their silliness. Vada giggles, clearly amused by their antics.
"Dad!" You shout, trying to regain their attention. "We have a guest here, remember?" Your dad and Jordan finally notice Vada standing there, and their faces light up with surprise and excitement. "Oh wow, who do we have here?" your dad asks, extending his hand towards Vada.
"This is Vada, my girlfriend." You introduce Vada with a smile. Vada returns the gesture, shaking your dad's hand warmly. "Girlfriend? Am I dreaming?" your dad exclaims, a wide grin spreading across his face. "I never thought I'd see the day! It's great to finally meet you, Vada."
You sigh at your father. "Es bonita, mija." You clear your throat, blushing a bit. "Suficiente papá." Your dad chuckles and playfully nudges you. "No need to be shy. I'm just happy to see you happy." Vada smiles warmly at both of you, grateful for the warm welcome.
Your mom walks in, her eyes widening with surprise as she takes in the scene. "Well, well, well," she says with a smirk. "Looks like someone finally found themselves a catch." You roll your eyes at your mom's teasing, but deep down, you appreciate her support and acceptance.
Vada begins talking to your parents while you excuse yourself to speak to Jordan. "Looks like I won the bet." You say with a playful smile, feeling a sense of triumph. Jordan chuckles and shakes his head, admitting defeat.
"Jordan, Y/N, come help me bring out the food." Your mom calls out, breaking the playful banter between you and Jordan. You both exchange amused glances before making your way to help her, Vada also joins, eager to lend a hand.
Jordan is the last to leave the kitchen, hearing your parents talk about Vada. "Crees que es otro truco?" Your dad asks your mom. Jordan leans against the kitchen counter, listening intently to your parents' conversation about Vada. He raises an eyebrow, curious about their suspicions.
"No lo sé, cariño. Parece genuino, no crees?" Your dad shrugs at your mother's question, contemplating the authenticity of Vada's intentions. Jordan rushes out to the dining room, catching you staring at Vada like a lovesick puppy.
"Y/N." Jordan calls out your name, interrupting your daydreaming and bringing you back to reality. You hum, nodding your head at him. "Can I talk to you for a second?" You nod and follow Jordan to a quieter corner of the room.
"I heard your parents talking about how they think this is a trick." He begins to smirk, "Maybe this bet may be mine anyways." You roll your eyes, tired of this stupid bet.
"Whatever bro. I just wanna eat and enjoy dinner without any drama." Jordan chuckles, his smirk fading slightly. "Come on, Y/N. You know it's all in good fun. Besides, it's not like Vada and you are actually gonna last." You raise an eyebrow at him, wondering what he's getting at.
"What do you mean by that?" you ask, leaning in closer to Jordan. "Are you trying to say that Vada and I don't have a real connection?" Jordan shrugs, a sneaky glint in his eyes. "I'm just saying, Y/N, relationships at our age rarely go the distance. But hey, prove me wrong."
You scoff at him, "Sure...whatever you say. Don't be shocked when Vada and I prove you wrong and end up together for the long haul." Jordan raises an eyebrow, his sneaky glint fading slightly. "Well, I guess time will tell," he concedes, a hint of doubt in his voice.
When dinner ends, everyone begins to clean up and put away the dishes. "Have you seen my AirPods anywhere?" you ask Jordan, hoping he might have seen them. "You left them in my car like an entire month ago."
You roll your eyes and playfully nudge him. "Seriously? You couldn't have mentioned that earlier?" Jordan chuckles and shrugs. "I guess I wanted to see how long it would take for you to realize they were missing."
"You're a dickhead."
"Language!" From the kitchen, your mom scolds, reminding you to watch your language. You sheepishly apologize and snatch Jordan's keys from him. He glares at you, pulling at his phone that began ringing in his pocket.
"Wanna get some air?" You ask Vada, gesturing towards the open front door. Vada nods, following behind you as you step outside. "Your parents are nice. They're pretty chill, and your mom is honestly like drop-dead gorgeous."
You chuckle. "Do I have to compete with my mom for your attention now?" Vada laughs and playfully nudges you. "Nah, don't worry. You're more than enough for me."
You walk to Jordan's car, leaning against it as you wait for Vada to join you. "Wanna sit in the car?" You suggest, knowing that it might be more comfortable than standing outside. Vada considers for a moment before agreeing, "Sure, why not? It's a bit chilly out here." You both settle into the car, leaning back in the back leather seats.
Silence falls between you as you take in the peacefulness of the moment.
You look over at Vada, a soft smile playing on your lips. Vada turns her head to you before sitting up in her seat, leaning forward slightly. Her eyes fall to your lips, staring at them intently.
Without thinking, she leans in closer, capturing your lips with a gentle yet passionate kiss. The warmth of her touch sends a shiver down your spine, and you find yourself lost in the moment, forgetting about the chilly weather outside.
The kiss begins to deepen as Vada's hands slide up to cup your face, pulling you even closer. You find yourself melting against her lips, savoring the taste of her soft, sweet breath.
You pull away, breathless and hot, your heart racing as you lock eyes with Vada. "Can I turn on the A/C?" You mutter to the freckled-faced girl. Vada chuckles but nods regardless.
You put the key in the ignition and start the car, the engine purring to life. The cool air from the A/C quickly fills the car, providing a refreshing contrast to the heated moment that just transpired.
You bring Vada into another kiss, more passionate and urgent than before. The intensity between you both grows as you explore each other's mouths, losing yourselves in the heat of the moment. Your hand is tangled in Vada's hair, pulling her closer to you if that were possible.
"Y/N's still doing that bet with Vada?" You recognize that voice, it was Austin. You pull away from Vada, your eyes falling on Jordan's car screen, confirming he was on the phone with Austin. It must've connected to the car automatically, allowing Austin's voice to fill the car.
You quickly release Vada and feel a rush of embarrassment wash over you. You exchange a nervous glance with Vada, hoping Austin doesn't go in detail about the bet you've been participating in.
"It's silly, really. This all started because she didn't wanna do her math homework? So she decided to start dating baby Adam Sandler and introduce her to her parents? That's pretty fucked up. If I were Vada, I'd be pissed."
You close your eyes, taking a deep breath to steady your racing heart. The weight of Austin's words hangs heavy in the air. You hope that Vada understands that it was all just a silly game and that she won't hold it against you.
"Is he serious? A bet? Am I a bet to you?" You feel a knot forming in your stomach as Vada's voice trembles with hurt and disbelief. The realization hits you like a ton of bricks, and you quickly shake your head, desperately trying to find the right words to explain yourself.
"Am I a fucking bet to you?" Vada's voice cracks with anger, and tears well up in her eyes. The pain in her words cuts deep, leaving you speechless and filled with regret. You reach out to touch her arm, hoping to convey your sincerity and remorse, but the damage may already be done.
Vada pushes away your arm, opening the car door and slamming it shut behind her. Her actions speak louder than words, and you watch helplessly as she walks away, leaving you to grapple with the consequences of your thoughtless words.
Jordan rushes to the driver's side of the door, out of breath. "Did she hear?" Jordan asks, panting as he rests his hand on the car door. The worry in his eyes mirrors your own as you shake your head, uncertain of how to fix the mess you've made. "She did."
-
It's been two days, and you've called Vada's phone and sent multiple texts, but there's been no response. The silence only amplifies your guilt and regret as you desperately hope for a chance to apologize and make things right.
You decide to call her house phone, surprised when someone answers. "Mrs. Cavell?" You ask on the phone, hoping to speak with Vada's mother. "It's Amelia, asshole. Don't call again."
You're bewildered by the harsh response from Amelia. You never expected her to be so angry and hostile toward you. "Amelia, please. Just put your sister on the phone."
You plead, hoping to reason with Amelia and convince her to let you speak with Vada. However, Amelia's voice remains firm and cold as she refuses your request, leaving you feeling even more desperate and regretful.
"If I buy you $100 worth of slime supplies, will you let me talk to Vada?" you offer, trying to find a compromise. But Amelia's response is immediate and resolute, "No amount of slime supplies will change my mind. Don't contact us again."
"Fine! $200!" you exclaim, desperation creeping into your voice. Amelia stays silent for a moment, finally giving in. "Our parents are out. If you come over, you have ten minutes to speak to her." Relief washes over you as Amelia finally agrees to let you talk to Vada, even if it means spending more money.
With a renewed sense of urgency, you quickly make plans to rush over to their house within the given time frame, hoping that this opportunity will help mend the strained relationship between you and Vada.
You burst through Vada's room, and she jumps up in surprise, her eyes widening as she takes in your unexpected presence. "I'm on limited time by your sister, so I have to make this quick."
You take a deep breath, walking closer to Vada. "I made that bet before I met you, Vada. And spending time with you made me realize that winning that bet was not what was important anymore. What matters to me now is repairing our relationship and showing you how much you mean to me."
Vada's expression softens as she listens, her guard slowly starting to come down. "I never wanted to hurt you, Vada. I want us to start fresh and build something real together."
"What was it for anyway? I mean, what did you end up losing?" Vada asks, her curiosity piqued. You take another step closer before continuing. "I lost a lot of things, Vada. I lost your trust, our connection, and the chance to truly be there for you. But what I gained was the realization that you are the most important person in my life and the one girl that my parents truly approve of."
Vada stands up, playing with the bottom of her shirt. She looks down for a moment, deep in thought, before finally meeting your gaze. "Don't make me sing again." You jokingly mutter, looking down at the shorter girl.
Vada's eyes widen, and a small smile tugs at the corners of her lips. "No, not this time," she says playfully. "But I do expect you to make it up to me in some other way."
You smile, leaning down and lifting Vada's chin with your finger. Vada glances at your lips before looking back up into your eyes. You smirk before closing the distance between you, capturing her lips in a gentle kiss.
Your worries fade away, drowning in the sound of your heart pounding against your ribcage. Vada's arms wrap around your neck, pulling you closer, and you can't help but let out a content sigh against her lips.
As you pull away, Vada's cheeks flush with a rosy hue, and she bites her lip, opening her mouth to speak but is interrupted. "Ten minutes is up. Where's my $200?" Amelia says from Vada's door, holding out her hand expectantly.
Vada pulls away from you, confused. "What is she talking about?" You clear your throat. "I might've...um...made a deal with Amelia so she could let me talk to you."
Vada's eyes widen in surprise as she processes your words. "You paid her to see me?" she asks, laughing. You smile sheepishly, "Well, I wanted to make sure I had a chance to talk to you without any interruptions. It was worth every penny."
Vada's laughter fills the room as she playfully nudges your shoulder, "You're ridiculous, but I'm glad you did."
644 notes · View notes
h4rring1on · 2 years
Note
hello!! if you can and want, could you write some angst with steve x fem!reader in which reader feels insecure - in a way that she thinks she's annoying because she talks too much and sometimes too loud, and one day, steve has the party over for a movie night and one of the kids mention that she talks too much and she's too loud while steve goes into the kitchen for something (or to the bathroom, whatever). so from that moment on she tries to speak as little as possible until steve brings it up to her one day and comforts her about it.
i'm sorry if it's too specific, if you can't do it, it's alright! your writings are some of my favourites on tumblr!!! 🌼💗
you and steve never really had any major problems, little fights every now and then but it wasn’t big. you still loved each other, you completed each other
but sometimes, just sometimes, you’d wonder if you really did complete steve. moments like this would always come up, like you’d be play fighting with steve and you’d say “i’m gonna catch you!” a bit too loud
when that would happen, you’d quiet down, you’d be the same, just calmer and more quiet. steve never really notice it until one day, where it became way too clear for him not to.
you were with the party, everyone was wrapped around blankets, popcorn and snacks in hand as they watched the movie, steve was next to you, holding you close as you watched
“wait i don’t get it—how did all that happen when her boyfriend was just sleeping, he must’ve noticed, right?” you asked
“hm, don’t think so, it was outside so he couldn’t have heard it” steve explained
“ohh, yeah right” you said, steve then told you he was gonna go get more snacks from the kitchen
“that one’s my favorite” you pointed to the girl on the screen, you liked talking about the characters and movie overall
“oh my god” mike whined
“we get it, jesus” lucas said
“what the hell, guys?” dustin said
“im sorry dustin i cant take it anymore” mike said, “cant you go one minute without talking? it’s so annoying! we can barely hear the movie because of how loud you are!” mike rolled his eyes and dustin smacked him
“oh…i’m sorry” was all you said, you turned back to the movie and snuggled closer into your blanket, wishing you could hide under it forever. you wanted to disappear, to go away.
you zoned out as the scene kept replaying in your head, you knew it. you finally knew what they truly think of you, what they hate about you. and it was exactly what you hated about yourself
you felt steve sit next to you, making you snap back to reality
“got you your favorite” he smiled and gave you the bag, you slightly smiled and ate in silence
ever since that night, you barely spoke. when you’d visit steve, you’d just listen and nod when he’s speaking. only time you’d actually talk is when you had to give a verbal response.
even then, it was low and wasn’t the way you used to talk, it was worse when you were around the party, you wouldn’t utter a single sound. you thought nobody would notice, but steve did. very much.
steve was working robin’s shift, so it was just you and him, he called you earlier, asking if you could come over since he’s closing the store now, you muttered a small ‘mhm’ and went to the store, helping him close up
he was talking to you about one of the customers that came today, and how they’d taken so long to decide what movie they wanted
“can you believe it? 45 minutes just to pick ghostbusters, it’s not even that hard of a decision to make” he said as he put away the tapes, he looked to you and saw you nodding
“let’s go sit for a bit, take a little break” he said and you nodded again, he sat in front of you, holding your hand
he called your name, and you shook your head in question, “you know i love you, right?” he said and you nodded, “you know you can tell me anything, right?” and you nodded yet again
“did i do something?” he asked and you furrowed your eyebrows and shook your head, “talk to me” he said, his tone frustrated
“no” you shook your head
“then tell me what’s wrong” he asked and you stayed silent, “i know somethings wrong, please—tell me why are you acting this way?”
“what way—“
“are you serious?” he cut in, “you’ve barely said a word to me for the past few days, i know theres a reason—talk to me, please.”
you looked at him for a bit and looked down, “there’s nothing wrong, okay? just—some people finally decided be brave enough to tell me the truth”
“what truth? what people—“
“the truth is that im annoying!” you snapped, “that im annoying—and loud, and talkative. and im happy to hear it because they’re not wrong. they’re not! i should actually thank them for finally telling me what’s wrong with me.” you sighed
steve looked at you with such hurt in his eyes, “who said that?” he asked in a low voice
“why do you even care—”
“why do i even ca—are you—because it’s a lie! everything—they’re all lies! baby, who cares if you like to talk about things more than others do, who cares if you’re loud? you’re you and thats what matters, whoever said that is saying complete bullshit, and i don’t care about it. i just—“ he sighed and held your hand tighter, “i miss your voice, i miss the way you get excited about things, i miss the way you talk on and on and on, i miss you. i miss you, peach.”
a smile found its way on your face and you hugged him tight, “i love you, stevie” you said
“i love you too” he smiled, a feeling of comfort finally coming back to him, to hear you and have you in his arms again.
you two held onto each other for a bit before letting go, “now, you wanna tell me who in their right mind said that?”
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ghcstao3 · 3 months
Note
Im currently watching brave and it’s given me brain worms hehe
It’s to do with the will o’ the wisp!
Either soaps been seeing them his whole life guiding him to the task force or after a rough mission, totally lost/injured and with no way to contact anyone they guide his way back to ghost :D
Thanks for everything you write it genuinely makes my day to read all your works!!
ooh i really like this. also- apparently will o' the wisps are actually Not good in folklore so i wrote a little twist to fix that ;)
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Throughout his life, Soap's nan had always liked to tell him stories about the many malevolent creatures he should hope to never have the misfortune of encountering—kelpies, redcaps, sluaghs; just about everything that existed in his homeland's folklore.
A little cruel in retrospect, Soap thinks, but for a while he'd just understood it as his nan's way of ensuring her grandson was to behave. They were myths, old tales and explanations for the unexplainable, and he can appreciate the determination to share tradition.
But now, as Soap is stranded in thick woods after an operation gone awry, blood sticky on his temple and a bullet stuck in his leg, he's not so sure they were just stories. Not as he's currently staring down an unnatural wisp of light in the darkness, hovering just a few feet away from where he'd collapsed against the thick, gnarled trunk of a tree.
Will o' the wisp, his mind supplies. Omens of death, his nan had told him, like many other creatures and spirits. They appear to the weary and lost like himself, flickers of glowing blue light almost hopeful as they guide one along a seemingly nonsensical path—but instead of leading someone to safety, they lure people to their doom.
The wisp just floats, unmoving, as Soap sits frozen. He tries his radio to no avail, and realizes with a great dread that he only has two options: attempt to find his own way back to his team, to anyone, anywhere, with the great risk of only getting more lost—or follow the wisp in the hopes that maybe, just maybe, it may actually lead him somewhere useful, no matter how bad the destination. Soap could only hope that doom is something he can fend off with a gun.
His decision is made rather easily because... he supposes it doesn't really make a difference, does it?
So he pushes himself away from the tree and toward the light—it vanishes as soon as he steps toward it, but with another step forward, another wisp appears.
Soap limps along, following the wisps. They weave him through trees and take sharp, sudden turns, disappearing and reappearing endlessly as Soap pursues the trail they leave. His head is on a swivel with every sound that isn't the crunch of branches beneath his own boots, with every flash of movement in his periphery.
He feels like he’d been walking forever by the time the forest has grown less dense and the wisps fade away for good—and that's when Soap sees it.
The large, imposing silhouette. The hulking figure cloaked in black. The glimpse of a skull in the sliver of moonlight that had managed to break through the forest's canopy.
Soap swallows a laugh. The will o' the wisps must have led him to Ghost, not realizing doom would have only been certain for Soap had he been the enemy.
Funny.
Ghost spots him and raises his gun, pauses, then after a moment lowers the barrel.
"Johnny?" Ghost grunts. "Where the fuck've you been?"
Soap shrugs a shoulder, wincing as he steps closer. "Lost my way running from the facility. Comms were dead." He flashes a crooked grin. "Worked out though, aye?"
Ghost snorts. "Aye," he echoes. "C'mon, then. Exfil's waiting. Save your explanations 'til then."
Soap gladly follows, relief nearly exalting.
But as they walk shoulder-to-shoulder, Soap can’t help but cast one last glance back at the trees from where he had emerged.
He wonders if the wisps had really made a mistake. He wonders if maybe they hadn't been done leading him, but Ghost had gotten in the way.
Questions he'll likely never find the answers for.
But regardless, now in safe hands—Soap thinks he had better refresh himself on his nan's stories as soon as he gets the chance.
He doesn't know now, whenever they might come in handy.
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juyeonszn · 5 months
Text
PARTY O’CLOCK
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PAIRING choi chanhee x f!reader
WORD COUNT 5.39k
GENRES fluff ﹒smut
WARNINGS 18+ MINORS DO NOT INTERACT, mature language, tau beta zeta frat treasurer!chanhee, reader is a stereotypical party girl, she’s also an astronomy major, mentions of alcohol, i’m pretty sure everyone makes a cameo at some point, kevin moon playing matchmaker, we escalate a little fast so, intense making out, marking, vaginal fingering, brat tamer!chanhee, dom!chanhee, lowkey pussy job for like 1 second, nipple play? kinda?, unprotected sex, wall sex, missionary, multiple orgasms, creampie (yk… the usual), overstimulation
SUMMARY in spite of being a frat boy himself, chanhee could never actually see himself enjoying the luxuries of the title. besides, how could he with all the responsibilities of being treasurer? enter you and your carefree spirit and chanhee’s got a real big problem on his hands.
MORE … don’t yell at me PLEASE. i know this is 2 days overdue. I KNOW I KNOW. i’ve been so busy these past couple days and my time management is ass we already know this. BUT IM HERE AND SHES FINISHED AND ITS CHRISTMAS EVE SO??? 🙏🙏😍 anyways. i hope u guys enjoy i had a fun time writing this. i’m a firm believer in dom chanhee 😋 if u liked this pls don’t forget to reblog!
SERIES MASTERLIST
PERM TAGLIST @winterchimez @maessseongs @itsbeeble @zzoguri @deoboyznet @cloverdaisies @vernyangel @ericlvr
TAGLIST @millksea
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“Who’s that?”
The question comes out before you can even stop it, eyes focused on a guy sitting on one of the couches in the living room, complete disinterest all over his face. He’s pretty. Prettier than any guy you’ve ever seen. But he also looks like he’d rather be anywhere else than at this party.
“Who?” Your friend Heejin asks, following your gaze.
She finds out pretty quickly, especially because of how intense your stare is. She racks her brain for his name, sure it’s somewhere in her catalog of the student body. Heejin was the kind of person who knew everyone even if she didn’t exactly know them personally. She was both sociable and obsessed with gossip, sticking her nose in the business of those around her.
“Ah! That’s Choi Chanhee,” she nods, index finger tapping her chin. “He’s the Tau Beta Zeta treasurer actually. That’s probably why he looks like he wants to kill himself. Dude doesn’t really want to be here, but fraternity brothers are required to attend every party.”
She’s right, it appears, when you see some of the members you do recognize make their way over to bother him. He definitely does not look like the fraternity type, but you guess it also makes sense in a way. Maybe he needed an extracurricular or something that would be nice on his resume.
It’s hard for you to enjoy yourself for the rest of the night, too concentrated on the treasurer who’s lips stay pressed into a frown the entire time. You try to take shots with Heejin, but your eyes gravitate back to the sofa. Ji Changmin and his girlfriend even convinced the two of you to play them in beer pong. (Worst mistake you’ve ever made. You sucked at beer pong.) You finally draw the line at a game of Rage Cage, when you strategically get placed between Lee Juyeon and Heejin, arguably the best drinkers at the function.
Everyone laughs at you when you take a step back and recall your decision to join. And just as you suspected, you end up back in the living room, right where you wanted. Chanhee hasn’t moved from his spot, occasionally taking sips of whatever he’s drinking and scrolling through his phone.
You remember when that was Jacob Bae’s thing to do, and then he went and got himself a girlfriend. Perhaps that’s what Chanhee needed to do. A girlfriend was a little bit of a stretch, but someone to help him loosen up at these things was plausible. Girls weren’t even trying to hit on him left and right like they usually did with the Tau Beta Zeta boys, which was even more surprising considering most of them had their own partners now. Desperation was an ugly look on the university female, you know.
Which is exactly why you don’t make any moves that night.
Initially, you think you’ll wait a week. You happen to see him on campus a few times. The first time is in the library studying with some headphones on, in his element. The second time is in the cafe on campus, again, doing coursework with the intention of being left alone. Then it’s when you’re leaving your Fundamentals of Astronomy lecture, walking to one of his own classes. In your head, you’re being tested, like a dog with a bone being dangled in front of its face. It’s tortuous, wanting to go up to him and introduce yourself, but you don’t do it.
Heejin “drags” you to another TBZ party the following Friday and you put extra effort into your outfit. You walk in with the hopes to sweep him off of his feet, strutting into the fraternity house with a confidence that throws you off. Just when you’re getting ready to walk up to him, Kim Sunwoo intercepts and you backtrack. That ruins any of the lingering self-assurance in your system. So you push things back another week.
The next time you plan on striking, you and Heejin had said you’d meet at the party since she had something to do prior. You arrive at around 11 PM, prepared to shoot your shot and score. The kitchen is the first place you go, concocting yourself a drink that doesn’t get you trashed, but provides enough liquid courage. Then Heejin texts that her project partners wanted to grab food and she wasn’t going to make it. The thought of being alone without moral support effectively kills your mood, so you only stay for another hour or so before leaving.
It’s annoying, really. Every single time you attempt to set your plan into motion, something has to interrupt and mess things up for you.
This is your dilemma for roughly every weekend for a whole month. By the time you know it, it’s midterm season and you’re too stressed out over exams to think about Choi Chanhee. Divine intervention was a crazy concept, so maybe it was a blessing in disguise. Maybe this was your sign to just call it quits and give up on your weird fantasy of being the girl who charmed him.
“Do you wanna go to the TBZ party Saturday? We can celebrate finishing these stupid fucking exams and just relax for another couple months before we have to worry about finals.” Heejin asks through a mouthful of instant ramyeon. You sigh.
“Sure, whatever.” Your lips purse, pushing around your own food. She raises an eyebrow, tilting her head to the side in confusion.
“What the hell happened to you? You were jumping for joy when it came to going to them all semester, but now that I want to get shitfaced, you don’t seem all that excited.” She puts her chopsticks down, narrowing her eyes at you from across the table. You shrug.
“I don’t know,” you rest your cheek on your palm, huffing. “I guess I’m not really in the party mood anymore.”
“Bullshit,” she scoffs. “You’re the girl everyone thinks of when they talk about the typical university party girl. There must be a reason you’re suddenly Miss Debbie Downer.”
You could just tell her the truth, tell her about your delusions and the need to be different. As your roommate and best friend, she wasn’t at liberty to judge you. But this was so unlike you, so you knew she would anyway. It was out of character for you to be this enthralled by a man, let alone a stranger you’ve never spoken a word to. In fact it’s even thrown you for a loop, this mental break giving you clarity about your recent actions.
“That time I asked you who Choi Chanhee was,” you start after some silence. “I thought about going up to him and finding out why he’s so uptight. I sorta wanted to be in a ‘not like other girls’ situation. But whenever I wanted to swoop in, something always interfered. And now I’m just over it.”
“Y/N. You cannot be serious,” Heejin gawks at you like you’ve grown a second head. “Chanhee’s very picky about the girls he talks to. I could probably name on a hand the ones who’ve successfully snuck their way into his pants. He has specific taste, too; pretty ones who know when to shut their mouths.”
Your jaw drops, because what the fuck? He’s not a raging virgin with that personality? No wonder there wasn’t a line of single ladies attempting to land in his bed. They all knew they didn’t stand a chance. It kind of encourages you to resume your mission. You were never one to back down from a challenge.
“In that case…” A mischievous glint sparkles in your eye.
“Good god,” she rolls her own. “I’m warning you now, I highly doubt this will end in your favor.”
“You know me, Heejin. I never take no for an answer.”
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It’s the day before the party and you’re walking out of your last midterm exam, a new light in your eyes now that you’re somewhat free. You step into the quad with your arms stretched above your head, a yawn pushing through your lips. You were long overdue for a good nap.
“Y/N!”
You whip around to find Kevin Moon from your Music Appreciation class stalking towards you. Part of you wants to pretend you’d never heard him and keep walking, drained of energy after that Intro to Astrophysics exam you’d just taken. Your brain felt like mush at this point. But you were kind, and you would’ve just felt bad about ignoring him anyways.
Kevin catches up to you rather quickly, hands hidden inside of his hoodie pockets. He lets out a sigh, both of you watching the puff of air that forms in front of him. “You’re going to the party tomorrow right?”
“I am…” You furrow your eyebrows, narrowing your eyes skeptically just a bit. “Why?”
“I have a huge favor to ask you.” He clasps his hands together, as if he wasn’t above begging on his hands and knees. You’re confused even further, because what could Kevin Moon possibly want from you?
“Okay… What is it?” The suspicion in your tone is so strong, that there’s no doubt he hasn’t noticed it by now. He holds the heel of his palm to his forehead.
“So, I was supposed to go with my friend Chanhee to try out that new outer space themed coffee place just outside of campus later today, but I got put on alcohol duty and I won’t be able to. I know you’re an Astronomy major so I figured that was something you’d like. Do you think you could go in my place?” He bats his eyelashes at you, like doing puppy dog eyes will convince you. You stare at him blankly. He wants you to do what?!
Meeting Choi Chanhee before the party tomorrow was not in your itinerary. Usually you were decent at adapting to changes in your plans, but this? This was more than just something minor that you could acclimate to. You had to psych yourself for hours in order to execute something of this caliber. Was Kevin Moon trying to send you into cardiac arrest?
“W-Wh— I mean— well—” You fumble over your words— something you never do— and Kevin breaks into a wide grin. You’re not sure if the blush across your face is from the cold weather nipping at it, or the thought of being put between a rock and a hard place.
“Perfect! I owe you one! Meet him in like an hour.” He pats your back like you’re one of the homies, not giving you any room for refutation. You actually feel like throwing up. How were you supposed to just show up without qualms?
Did he really expect you to just do this out of the goodness of your heart? No complaints stacked up to be hurled in his direction? You’d known Kevin Moon since freshman year orientation, but you didn’t think you were close enough for him to throw his dirty work at you. You can’t help but stand there dumbly as he walks away, a pep in his step that nearly has tick marks forming on your temple.
Okay, you know what? This is fine. This was totally fine. All you had to do was sip on some coffee, make some small talk, and then you could be on your way. It wasn’t that hard… was it?
You could throw on an act, pretend like you were one of those pretty girls who knew when to shut their mouths just like Heejin said he was into. You could give him a false glimpse into who you were and he wouldn’t know what you were really thinking of doing. The you of tomorrow would be a complete 180° turn around from the you of today, and Choi Chanhee would be the one groveling at your feet.
As soon as you walk into the cafe, your throat feels narrow, like it was closing in on you. You’re not sure why you’re so nervous. It’s not like Chanhee knew you. He couldn’t possibly be aware of your existence, much less of your little fascination with him.
You see him sitting at a table for two, the straw of his drink trapped between his lips. He sips leisurely as he scrolls through his phone, likely waiting on Kevin since you’re sure he left his friend in the dark. You pick at a thread on your sweater as you stop in front of him, raising your hand in an awkward wave. Chanhee glances up, confusion in his features at first and then it morphs into something else.
A laugh has to be held back when he chokes on his drink, slapping a hand over his mouth. He stands up quickly, wiping his palms on his pants.
“Hi,” your voice is small, so far off from your usual boldness. “I’m Y/N. Kevin sent me.”
“Fucking Kevin,” he curses underneath his breath, forcing a smile. “Um, please sit.”
You take the seat across from him, eyes flickering around the coffee shop to absorb your surroundings. It’s pretty, the stars and planets painted all over the walls and ceilings. Even the drinks had celestial themed names. Your friend was right, you would love it here. It was right up your alley.
“I— uh— Kevin had texted me and told me what to order for him, but I’m assuming he meant for you, because he never told me you were uh— that you were coming.” He scratches the back of his neck as a server leaves a drink in front of you.
“He stopped me in the quad after my midterm and asked if I could fill in for him. Something came up apparently.” You explain, humming in appreciation when you taste your coffee. “He remembered that I was an Astronomy major and figured I was his best bet I guess.”
Chanhee purses his lips, it’s almost like he knows something you don’t. He nods slowly. “Yeah… I’m sure that’s why…”
The impromptu formal introduction between you goes on without a hitch. It goes so well, that the time flies faster than you’d hoped it would. You get a tiny peek into Choi Chanhee and his life as the TBZ fraternity treasurer, but it’s not enough to satiate that unbearable curiosity that pricks at you.
Thankfully, you have tomorrow to do exactly that.
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Heejin and yourself arrive at the Tau Beta Zeta party that Saturday with a goal in mind; Getting Choi Chanhee into bed with you.
Okay. Maybe that wasn’t actually the main objective, but it was definitely a side quest. What you really wanted to do was get him to let his guard down. Like your friend said previously, you were the stereotypical party girl. Had there been a picture beside the term in a dictionary, your pretty little face would be there, a red solo cup in your hand and all. If he wound up being entranced by your womanly witchery, that was on him.
Just like your first go at wooing him, you decided to pull out all the stops. You’d worn your shortest, tightest fitting dress despite the weather not necessarily permitting it. It was a cute black strapless number that you paired with some long heeled boots and a warm fuzzy jacket. You looked hotter than the sun itself, and deep down you’d feel extremely disappointed if he wasn’t falling to his knees for you by the end of the night.
A sense of déjà vu washes over you the moment you step through the front door into the jam packed fraternity house. The bumping early 2000s music and the thrumming of the bass gave you an adrenaline rush like no other. Nothing could waver your confidence this roundabout. He wouldn’t even know what hit him.
Before you sink your claws into the treasurer, you need to grab yourself a drink. You and Heejin take a shot from one of the various liquor bottles on the counter, serving yourselves each a cup of whatever Jacob Bae threw together for the party. It was kind of funny that the resident bartender for these things wasn’t even a member of the frat. You and your friend cheers to the night ahead of you, manifesting that things go your way.
It’s rather easy to catch his eye even in the bustling crowd of drunk college students, glued in his usual spot on one of the living room sofas. His dark hair falls into his eyes when he glances down at his phone to check the time, almost as if he was counting down the hours, the minutes until this party was over. He brushes it out of his face with his index finger at the same time he raises his cup to his mouth, knocking back the contents with a slight wince.
He espies your presence immediately after that, raking your figure with an unrecognizable look in his gaze. Though you were shivering upon entering the house, your skin felt hot to the touch now, the burning intensity of his stare melting away any nerves that might’ve been lingering. You pull your jacket off of your shoulders, tossing it over your forearm as you snake through the bodies sardined between the two of you.
“Hi,” you greet once you’re in front of him. “I’m Y/N.”
His lips quirk upwards and he stands so you’re no longer peering down at him. In spite of meeting each other yesterday, he decides to play along. “I’m Chanhee.”
“Well, Chanhee,” you bite your acrylic nail, not bothering to hide the unabashed desire in your expression and drinking in his appearance like a glass of water. “I couldn’t help but notice you from across the room. You looked bored and I was wondering if I could change that. I know how to have a good time.”
Chanhee thinks it’s cute, the amount of effort you’re putting into this little charade. He doesn’t doubt that you knew of his reputation when it came to sleeping with girls. He knows he’s a bit conscientious when it comes to this sort of thing, but that’s only because he doesn’t want to deal with being seen as someone who’s ran-through. (For an example, please see (No) Strings Attached™.)
However, you were different. Chanhee thought you were cute from the very first time he saw you, which happened to be at a Tau Beta Zeta party last semester. He knew you were friends with Kevin, so maybe it was on him for the delay of your union, but he’d grown a little tired of always making the first move. He’s somewhat grateful that you were the type of girl who set her sights on something and never backed down from it. You were headstrong and that was exactly what had him hooked.
Nevertheless, it would be a bit of an issue. The only part of the rumors surrounding the treasurer that was true, was the part about him preferring his partners to be on the quieter side. There was something about them following his every demand, kneeling at his beck and call, that lit a fire underneath him. The mouthier they were, the less he enjoyed himself. But for some reason, he doesn’t think it’ll bother him as much with you. In fact, he thinks he’ll have fun putting you in your place.
“You know, Y/N,” he pushes your hair over your bare shoulder, letting his thumb graze your warm skin with a small but conniving grin. “I’m not too sure you’ll be able to cure this boredom that’s been plaguing me. It depends on what you have in mind.”
You might cry. A strained groan stays stuck in your throat, fighting to inch its way out of you. Fuck this stupid party. Fuck your stupid idea. You had a new mission. You needed him now and you needed him bad.
Your lips are on his in a matter of seconds, rushed and desperate. You don’t have the strength in you to act like you weren’t just about ready to combust. The curve of a smile can be felt through the kiss, his hands coming to rest on your waist and dig into the fabric of your dress. Had this been any other guy, any other day even, you would’ve freaked out over the PDA. Right now, though, you’re too lost in the moment, too absorbed in the high that kissing Choi Chanhee is providing.
His mouth travels along your jaw and neck, finally snapping you back to reality. With shaky breathing and a wavering voice, you step back from him. “Don’t you want— don’t we need some privacy?”
He laughs like he’s on the inside of a joke you’re unaware of. “Oh, so now you care about privacy? You didn’t when you were trying to seduce me ten minutes ago.”
Your cheeks flush impossibly more, cowering into the space where his shoulder meets his collarbone. All that confidence and for what? He really could not wait another second to see you crumble beneath him.
“Too shy for me to fuck you in front of all these people, sweetheart?” He asks in your ear, leaving a gentle kiss on the lobe as he does so.
You’re dizzy, so dizzy you might faint in the middle of this living room. Who would’ve known that such a pretty boy had such a filthy mouth on him? He knows he’s got you right where he wants you when you fist the material of his shirt, the vibrations of a whine on his neck. It’s kind of comical how little it took for you to crack.
He hauls you away to what you assume is his bedroom, fingers caressing the inside of your wrist. You think maybe he’s all talk, that he’s actually a big softie who couldn’t hurt a fly. The way he’s careful with his touch and making sure he doesn’t lose you as you weave through the other party attendees. At least, that’s what you thought.
But then he’s slamming his door shut and pinning you against it face first. His lips return to their prior position, sucking in the plush skin on your throat and your shoulders. You can feel him pressed into your lower back, hard and ready for you. He doesn’t seem to pay much attention to it, instead trailing his fingers down your front and sneaking under your dress.
He bunches it up around your hips, middle and ring digits circling your clit through the lace of your panties. Everything is escalating too quickly for you to comprehend. You whimper into the wood of the door, drool beginning to pool in your mouth. You’re so needy that you’re salivating over the prospects of what’s to come.
“Want more, Chanhee,” your words are muffled, but he understands you nonetheless.
“You want more?” He pouts, a false tone of sympathy in his voice. “Poor you, asking for something you can’t even handle.”
You squirm, raising your leg in an attempt to reach a different angle. The pads of his fingers apply an increased pressure on your clit, the friction caused by your underwear skyrocketing your heart rate. You know he can feel the pulse when his lips reconnect to that sensitive area just under your jaw. Your back arches, still craving and yearning for additional touch.
His fingers slip into the waistband of your thong, collecting your arousal and using it as a lubricant to glide through your folds. He thrusts two of them in and out of your entrance, the heel of his palm rubbing up against your clit. You moan, louder this time. His free hand shoves the top of your dress down, groping and kneading your bare breast. You wanted more, he’ll give you more.
You’re a whining, squirrely mess, humping his hand like a bitch in heat. It’s hilarious, really. The way you wanted him begging, but the tables seemed to have turned, flipping it the other way around. He ensures that he leaves his mark on you, biting your skin with the intent to bruise. He doesn’t care if you looked like you were attacked by a vicious animal. If Chanhee was anything, he was possessive, wanting everyone to know what was his and not to get near it lest they wanted to keep their lives. What better way to stake his claim than on your body, where anyone could see?
He senses that you’re close to your release, your walls clenching around his fingers and sucking them in further. Most people would’ve been generous, making your orgasm smooth sailing. But Choi Chanhee was not like most people. That much is obvious when he adds a third finger, restraining himself from groaning at the feeling of your cunt constricting and contracting. The stretch has your stomach tying in knots, each one growing tighter and tighter until they just about untangle altogether.
You cum with a guttural groan, nearly convulsing in his hold, but he keeps you pressed to the surface of the door. He doesn’t stop his motions, fingers curling and uncurling like he was reaching for something inside of you. You push your ass into his crotch, another whine escaping your lips when you feel his cock impressing into it. He bites his tongue to refrain from evoking a sound.
The poised nature of your regular personality makes a comeback, one of your hands cupping the side of his face. You pant as you speak, rasping slightly after all the moaning you just did. “Can you fuck me for real now?”
Chanhee forces your underwear down your legs roughly, kicking them out of the way once they hit the floor. “You’re such a goddamn brat. Nothing is ever enough for you is it?” You can hear rustling behind you, the unbuttoning of pants and the discarding of his shirt. And then you feel him. God, you might die. He’s flush between your lower lips, his teeth grazing your earlobe. “Gonna have to fuck you until you learn your place, don’t I?”
He squeezes your cheeks together with his thumb and forefinger, relishing in the adorable pout it forms. All you can do is nod, eyes fluttering shut when he finally slides inside of you. The weight of him sits heavy in your cunt, the singular drive of his hips causing your clit to bump into the door. It sends a rippled shockwave throughout your body, a voluminous moan breaching past your lips. Chanhee rests his forehead on your shoulder, staying still for a moment to gather himself.
It’s not long before he’s pistoning his cock into your pussy like a sword being sheathed and unsheathed. You claw at the wall as a means of grounding yourself, inconsistently paced cries and mewls of pleasure bouncing around the room. He hikes up your leg higher, palming at your tits so he can override your senses any way he can. You’re so lightheaded and tears have begun to spring at the corners of your eyes. It feels too good.
“O-Oh my god, you’re s-so— f-fuck Chanhee,” you babble, gasping for air as he continuously punches it out of you with every inch his cock buries into you.
He’s enjoying himself too much, loving how fucked out you look. He’s reduced you to an incoherent state of being. You curve your back a bit more for him, allowing the depth at which he slips in you to go further.
Unfortunately for you, it doesn’t take much to wind you back up to that summit from previously. You’re on the brink of your second orgasm, your chest heating up and your abdomen contracting. He doesn’t let up, pinching and thumbing at a peaked nipple to egg on your release. This one feels a lot stronger than the first, your knees nearly giving out on you.
“C’mon sweetheart, that’s it,” he coaxes, stroking your hair from your face.
Chanhee fucks you through it, allotting space for you to recover before he’s knocking you onto his bed. He removes your dress entirely and rubs up and down your thighs. The exhaustion is already beginning to settle in, but you realize that he hasn’t finished not once and you’d be hitting your third at this point. You’re overstimulated and your body aches all over, but you push through.
He finds your entrance again, pressing into your cunt with more ease. You whine, smushing your cheek into the mattress. Your toes curl and you fist at the sheets, eyes all but rolling to the back of your head where you see white spots and stars coating your vision. He grips your hips to hold you still, starting to rock back into your pussy with practiced aggression. He’s carnal with his movements, but it’s careful, almost like he doesn’t really want to hurt you.
“It’s too much—“ you interrupt yourself with a wail, the tears from earlier tracking along the sides of your face.
“I’ve fucked you stupid, haven’t I? Thought I was done with you?” He strains, folding over so he can kiss the skin of your collarbone and trail up to your mouth. His lips brush yours when he talks, teasing you as if he hadn’t already fucked you within an inch of your life. “Do you think I’m having fun yet?”
Your cunt sucks him in like a vacuum, your volume rising the closer you get to what you hope is your last orgasm of the night. What you needed was the best sleep ever after this. Your brain can barely form sentences, and you struggle to give him a proper response. “Y-Yes, Cha-Chanhee— oh god— s-so much fun,”
Your breath catches in your throat when that familiar sensation reappears. Chanhee is in his own world, focused on chasing his own release. His nails dig into the fat of your thighs, thrusts becoming deeper and slower. You reach between the two of you to swipe at your clit with your middle and ring fingers, the extra stimulation tipping you over that sweet edge.
Your orgasm crests upon you with so much intensity that you can’t even make a sound. If you do, it’s so far away from you that you don’t hear it. The uncontrollable fluttering of your walls sets Chanhee’s into action, his hips stuttering with a groan that doesn’t meet your ears. He fills you up with enough cum that it begins to spill out of you in spite of his cock still plugged inside your cunt. You both take a moment to recollect your bearings, chests clashing with each rise and fall from your breathing.
After what feels like forever, he pulls out and collapses on the bed beside you, the back of his hand thrown over his forehead.
“Holy shit— I mean— wow I really— I really didn’t think you were so…” You don’t finish your thought, head still stuck on the actions you’d committed prior.
“It’s always the quiet ones.” Chanhee shrugs, sighing dramatically.
“You are not quiet,” you turn your head to give him a pointed look. “But, I’m not complaining. I got my insides rearranged six ways to Sunday. Who’s the real winner here?”
“Me, actually,” he says, his thumb caressing your cheekbone. “I’ve had the longer crush.”
“Y-You— huh?!” Your eyes practically bulge out of your head, comically wide like a deer’s caught in headlights. He laughs at your expression.
“I’ve been wanting to make a move on you since last semester,” he admits. “But I was kinda… discouraged? I guess? I feel like I’m the one who puts in too much effort all the time, with everything that I do. I wanted to see if maybe someone would do the same for me. I’m just lucky that it worked out in my favor.”
Your bottom lip juts out and you flip over to peck the tip of his nose tenderly. “Choi Chanhee, you’re extremely lucky. I almost gave up on you, like, a couple days ago.”
Chanhee’s laughter grows and he kisses you softly. “Well, I’m glad that you didn’t. Now I can take you on a real date to that space cafe. Not one that Kevin forced on us.”
“I like the sound of that.” You smile, cuddling into his side.
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© juyeonszn. do not steal, claim, or repost.
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nkogneatho · 11 months
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𝐏𝐔𝐓 𝐀 𝐋𝐈𝐓𝐓𝐋𝐄 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄 𝐎𝐍 𝐌𝐄
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: ̗̀➛synopsis: You were scared of falling in love but will you change your mind when you meet someone who actually shows you how you are filled with so much love?
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#mlist #commission #taglist
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—wc: 1.5k
—cw: gn!reader, fwb to lovers (ig), hurt/comfort, mild smut, cockwarming, receiving head, abandonment issues, past trauma, commitment issues, anxiety and crying, fluff, soft gojo, not proofread (its 2 am im sorry)
—a/n: so my mind decided to remind me of my trauma on a Wednesday night so I pulled this out of my ass. Tell me what you think if you read it :)) Reblogs much appreciated.
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It fucked you up. Body fragile as a glass, mind clouded dark. The crippling fear emerged on the surface once again. That same old feeling. The feeling of abandoning someone before they abandon you.
You pitied yourself. What a pathetic person to get walked over by all those people. You despised every single decision you made. That included to kindle a relationship with this man.
Gojo Satoru. The strongest, they say. Hair whiter than snow, eyes glinting in light like the ocean waves turn diamond in sun.
He loved you. In fact, he loved you so much it scared you. The anxiety creeped up your back when he said those words to you.
"I love you."
He loves me. He said he loves me. But so did every other guy. He is lying. He'll leave.
Can you blame the traumatized mind to come to such conclusions?
Gojo did expect this reaction from you. He knew you were scared or love and commitment. Although the man felt the need to confess or he were to regret it for the rest of his life. Your knees met the floor with a loud thud, arms hanging like they were a soft toy.
"Do you know what you're saying?" Your voice cold.
"I do. I love you. And I know it's something you never wanted to hear given this relationship—fuck is this even a relationship?" His palm rubbed his forehead, feeling the rough sensation of his bangs
He was right to ask that question. Was this a relationship? You both started as just fuck buddies. You set a bunch of rules (which were tampered later anyway.)
Rule No. 1, no interference with other party's personal life.
Eh. He broke that when he started coming to your workplace with a bouquet of tulips every Monday. He knew Mondays were harsh. So you didn't complain because it did help to get through the rough day. Rule No. 1 successfully broken.
Rule No. 2, dates are okay sometimes but not a lot. Maybe twice a month.
Now, you were the one to alter this rule. Dates might be forbidden but not coming over to his place and treating it like your own home. His place was way more spacious given his generational wealth. It was easier to focus on work in such a silent and lone environment. The rule only got broken when you decided to move in. Well, you would save the time to call him over or you traveling here just to fuck.
By now, he had probably bullied his dick inside you in every single room. You still remembered his words.
"I want to fuck you in every square inch of this house, y/n."
And he did.
He fucked you on the big navy blue velvet layered couch, not giving a shit if your juices stained the expensive material. He'd just buy another one.
He spread your legs and ate you out on the dinner table on that one evening when the takeout took too long to arrive. Your fingerbeds grabbed his head so hard, it might've broken his skull as you orgasmed. He later thanked the delivery guy for being late to which the boy walked out with a confused look.
He made your wrap your legs tightly around him as you cockwarmed him on the kitchen counter. Brows furrowed, desperately wanting to grind. But your locked thighs around his slutty waist, not letting him do so.
Every square inch, he fucked you in. So Rule No.2 was off the table.
Rule No. 3, No catching of serious feelings or saying I love you.
Gojo didn't recently fall for you. He was caught in this way before you realized. Maybe he even doesn't remember it himself when he did.
"What do you mean? You just broke rule 3, Toru."
"Fuck those rules. I don't even know why we had them in the first place. Look at us y/n," he tried to reason. "We never follwed them so don't give me that crap." His voice was elevating to a higher octave. You hated it. You don't like yelling. It triggers the tinnitus in your ear.
Tears started rummaging down your dry cheeks. "Look at me. I know you're lying."
"Baby, I am not. I know it's hard to believe given your past but just trust me on this one." Yes he knew about your previous failed relationships and the effect it had on you. Which is why he took so long to confess. Each day, calculating the outcome. So at some point, he did know how you'd react. Maybe he'll lose you forever.
"Why?" You questioned him. You felt like you were a broken soul. Used and abused mentally. Taken advantage of the innocent mind and abandoned when you were to ask for the real love. You started hating the word love, ironically.
I love you. It sounds preposterous in your brain. What a fool would someone be to ever believe those words.
"Why? Look at yourself," he said.
"I do. Everyday. Which is why I asked the question. I am nothing but someone drowning. But I do not want to be saved. I don't want a savior, Toru! It makes me feel pathetic and weak." By now, you were wailing and screaming.
But he didn't interrupt. He let you scream your heart out. Maybe that was the last option he could choose to make you face your actual feelings.
"You done?" He asked. You were sniffing, catching your breath from all the yelling.
"Toru, all I see myself is as a broken soul. Why would you ever love...this" you pointed at yourself.
"You fool. Look in my eyes and tell me if I lie, but all i see in you is love. It's funny how you hate that feeling yet you're filled with it, y/n." His gaze softened. "You say you don't want a savior. Do you realize you don't need it in the first place. Because it's you who saves others."
"What do you mean?"
"Remember, Ginger was abandoned in the rain when we saw her the other day? No one cared about her but you did. You fed it canned cat food a took her to a shelter. You named her. You cared for her." He intertwined his hand in yours.
"Y/n. I used to wake up every single day in this apartment feeling absolute shit about what happened with Suguru and others. But when you started barging in on random days, that's when I started to feel a little better." You understood it. It is lonely to live alone with your own thoughts haunting you in this big pace.
"You made this house a home. You don't need a savior because you are one." he claimed.
"When did you—you started loving me?" You asked between hiccups.
"Sweetheart. I fall for your every single second. Everytime I wake up next to you. Everytime I see you smile. Whenever you skip on the same colored tiles on the footpath. I love all of you." That is when you realized how selfish you've been. Taking and taking his love but giving none back. He did so much for you. But you were about to leave him in a fear of something that might never happen.
"What if you leave just like all of them?" you asked.
"Give it one more chance. Who knows? Maybe I'll stick around for the rest of our lives." He wore a soft smile as he said those words, affirming you. You started crying again, but this time, it was due to happiness.
"If you never leave, I promise to love you more than myself."
"Oh, baby," he hugged you a tightly. "I love you so fucking much and I am so happy right now."
He pulled away and his lips crashed against yours. It's weird. You've kissed hundred times before but this one felt different. Maybe, because it was filled with love and acceptance.
You came to a realization. You don't know what the future holds. It is not the fear of abandonment that scares you. It's the feeling of you giving away all your love and them not giving any back. You always swam ocean for people who couldn't even meet you at the shore.
But Gojo never left your side. All this time, he was swimming right behind you, concealing you from all the harm. So if anyone's worth the risk, it's him.
Oh. Gojo Satoru. What a beautiful man you are.
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sohnric · 6 months
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paris – l. juyeon
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pairing: lee juyeon x fem! reader
genre: exchange student! juyeon in paris (ft. his erasmus friends). friends to ???, angst, fluff. actually, the genre is longing. halloween party au but the halloween part plays like,, 0 part in the fic, basically. idk the paris pics did something to me he is so european coded. paris by the 1975 without the drugs in a fic, essentially
warnings: cheating from yn's side, swearing, alcohol, smoking. the reader is canonically french im sorry 💀
word count: 6k
There’s quite a few reasons why Juyeon never told his friends from home about you- the girl he met on his student exchange trip. Some were the cause of Juyeon’s insecurities in himself, some the cause of your relationship status, all the cause of his unrequited love and the way you broke his heart, making Juyeon’s whole memory of Paris a bit hazy and bittersweet and the leave, paradoxically, that much harder. But still– and maybe you’re the reason for it– oh, how he’d love to go to Paris again.
a/n: do NOT cancel me for being a casual matty healy enjoyer i am a 2014 tumblr girlie at heart
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“And where are my gifts? Where are the souvenirs?” Hyunjae calls after the boy that’s still kind of jet lagged from the flight (even though it’s been 3 days since his landing and he slept the whole day after his brother picked him up from the airport), the latter looking at him with tired eyes. 
“That’s all you want from me after not seeing me for 6 months?”
“Yes. Where’s my baguette?” Hyunjae glares, making the younger boy whine at the request.
“I didn’t know you wanted a hard rock baguette from me. If I had known, I would’ve taken one with me and smashed it against your head the moment I arrived here.”
“Well, if it’s authentic,” Hyunjae shrugs, laughing. “I’m just joking… I know we’ve been calling and texting like, every other day, but let me ask again. How was it?”
Juyeon finally smiles at his friend’s question. This is what one expects after coming home from studying abroad for 10 months– not a souvenir request. And trust me, Juyeon did bring gifts, out of the warmth of his own heart, but after being asked for them, he kind of doesn’t want to play Santa anymore. Kind of like when you decide to wash the dishes, but your mum tells you to do it at the same time of your decision– the motivation fades away the mere second you’re requested to do the thing.
“Well, it was good,” he shrugs, “it was… something,” Juyeon says– because how does one fit 10 months of their life into a few sentences without stammering– and before he gets a chance to say anything, Hyunjae catches him off guard with another inquiry.
“Is it true, by the way? Are European girls really prettier?” he grins, wiggling his eyebrows at the boy as if to suggest something– but all it does is make Juyeon shrug, acting not really bothered with the question. 
“Dunno,” he hums, “I think it’s equal to here.”
“So you’re telling me you went 10 months without getting laid in France?” Hyunjae gasps, making Juyeon furrow his brows in utter disbelief.
“When did I say that? Or anything that would even suggest that?” 
Now, this was a trap. Juyeon is too gullible. See, Juyeon was pretty transparent with everything during his calls with Hyunjae back when he was in Paris. He told his friends back home all about the European food, the rock-hard french baguettes, the weird looks and annoyed sighs he got when speaking English to the clarks in the shops, the cold showers in his accommodation and the pretty park in front of his university building. They also know all about his friends from Paris– the international students he met in his course like Shotaro from Japan, Bence from Hungary and Marco from Italy– but when the question of girls came around, specifically in the romantic light of things, Juyeon went awfully quiet. You can’t blame Hyunjae for getting into suspicions.
“So you did?” Hyunjae gasps, grasping at the straws.
Juyeon sighs, reaching for his bag. His awfully big hand slips inside of the black backpack, fingers touching various things before he brings out a bunch of gifts: a keychain with the Eiffel tower, some magnets, postcards, a fashionable beret he found in one of the souvenir stores but never saw anyone actually wear in the whole 10 months in the streets of Paris, some perfume and high quality chocolate. Hyunjae’s eyes go wide, making satisfaction swim through Juyeon’s veins at the sight– he managed to deflect the attack.
Sometimes, having materialistic friends is a plus.
As he watches Hyunjae touch all the things on the table, fingers trailing over metal and the shiny wrapping of the dark chocolate with an acknowledging nod, Juyeon takes out another thing out of his bag– his digital camera that he brought along for the ride. He sent his friends a lot of pictures when he was in Paris, and he also posted quite a few on Instagram for everyone to see, but the camera held more memories and more moments than anyone’s ever seen before– it’s a source of treasure for himself as well, but he figures it wouldn’t hurt to share a glimpse with his best friend.
“Wanna see? I took tons of pictures, but you can look through only the interesting ones, if you want to,” Juyeon hums, offering the camera to the male, the display already shining at him from the gallery, small icons of all pictures on the SD card in a 3x3 row on the small thing. 
A few pictures of the town are on preview right now, but if you scroll through the gallery, moments of his friend Marco’s birthday party that his friends threw for him, or the snapshots of his friend’s faces come into sight– Juyeon’s sure Hyunjae’s eager to see how all of the people he’s been talking to him about look like.
Hyunjae nods, taking the camera from him and squinting at the little icons. His fingers move along the touch screen and scroll through the gallery, eyes zooming on the interesting ones and grinning as he shows them to Juyeon, awaiting the backstory of a certain image. 
Everything goes well, until Hyunjae gets to the latest pictures on the SD card– well, apart from the ones Juyeon took from the window on his flight home. And Juyeon really doesn’t know what he was thinking, but hey– sometimes he doesn’t think things through as much as he should– and that’s why when a particular photo comes into his best friend’s sight, turning the camera towards Juyeon with a shiteating grin on his face, the question ‘Who’s that?’ makes the poor boy a bit shaken.
His tall figure, standing alongside someone shorter– you, in your vampire costume, fake blood running down the side of your mouth, a hand thrown over his shoulders and your side pressed into his a bit too close as he stares down onto you with an obviously star-struck face, suit covering his body in a poor attempt at Joker’s costume– the moment stares back at him like a haunted memory.
He clears his throat. “That’s… that’s just Y/N.”
Hyunjae hums, having a staring contest with the picture on the screen. The date on the bottom reads 31/10/23, the last day of Juyeon’s stay before he had to go home. “How come I’ve never heard about Y/N?”
“There wasn’t much to say, I guess,” Juyeon shrugs, taking a sip from the bottle of beer on the table.
“Sure…” Hyunjae doubtingly nods, scrunching up his nose in disbelief.
“I’m serious. She’s just a friend I met there,” Juyeon offers, licking his lips in nerves. 
And it’s the truth– you were just a friend and there really wasn’t much to say about you two– so why does Juyeon’s heart hurt a bit as he recognizes the events of the night as if it happened yesterday? Why does he feel nostalgic, maybe a little bitter about the way you two left off? 
Hyunjae doesn’t know, but there’s quite a few reasons why he never heard about you in the first place. Some were the cause of Juyeon’s insecurities in himself, some the cause of your relationship status, all the cause of his unrequited love and the way you broke his heart, making the whole memory of Paris a bit hazy and bittersweet and the leave, paradoxically, that much harder. 
But still– and maybe you’re the reason for it–
oh, how he’d love to go to Paris again.
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31/10/2023
The buzzing of the room makes Juyeon’s already thumping head ache in its crevices, the smell of alcohol in the breath of everyone talking to him only making his stomach twist and turn with acid. He’s had his fair amount of drinks himself, but there is a very faint line between the amount that’s just enough to keep him going through the night and the amount that makes him puke and have a two-week hangover, and with the flight home he has to take tomorrow afternoon, he doesn’t think drinking more would be a good idea.
“Don’t break it!” Juyeon tiredly hurries out as he sees his friend Marco handle his camera, the device almost falling out of the foreign friend’s hands. 
“I won’t! Hold on, let me just–” the Italian mutters, the coating of vodka shots and the cheap red wine (made to look like blood to keep things festive) making his words slur together as he speaks. 
Juyeon reaches towards his drunk friend (while also questioning how he’s going to take a plane back to Italy tomorrow in a very hungover state) and tries to pray the prized possession out of his hands, but comes to a fail as the tall man waves him off with a theatral arm wave, shoving the poor boy towards the white wall and putting the camera up against his own face. “I’ll take your picture! So you can– you only take pictures of us, Juyo,” he rambles on, “I’ll take your picture so you can show it at home to your friends!” Marco grins, having Juyeon aimlessly sigh and stretch out his lips into a fake smile, waiting for his friend to take the picture so he can get his camera back to safety.
“Me too! Me too!” he suddenly hears from somewhere to his right, and before he has the chance to decipher the owner of the female voice, a weight on his shoulder tells him you just jumped at his side– almost topping him over and into the spooky decorations to his right– as you giggle into his ear. “Have it?”
“Aaaalmost!” Marco stretches out as he squints at the camera– and in the spare few seconds before the shutter goes off, Juyeon allows himself to stare down at your figure glued to his side. You’re wearing a dark lipstick on your smile, a drip of fake blood rolling down the side of your mouth. There’s a corset top enveloping your middle and a flowy black skirt only pulling the whole look together even with the absence of fangs– and while you don’t suck out his blood, Lee Juyeon can physically feel how you sucked out all oxygen out of his lungs in your sexy vampire costume. 
He’s seen you around tonight, but he never got the courage to walk up to you. Something about this being his last night in Paris might be the reason why. 
He was simply too bummed out about how things between you and him never went further than fits of laughter in class as you helped him with his French, or friendly hugs when you bid him goodbye at the corner of his street. Maybe it was his own fault for falling for someone so out of his reach. He always knew his stay in France was temporary– hell, he was an exchange student, he was aware of what he was getting himself into– but still, he couldn’t help but recognize the familiar warmth in his stomach whenever you were around and the strange racing of his heart whenever you were close enough for him to smell your shampoo for what it was. He was completely, utterly smitten with you– a french local that would be erased out of his lifestyle as soon as he lands back home in Korea.
The shutter of the camera is all it takes to break his train of thought, making him snap his head back to his Italian friend. A sigh of relief is heard in the room as Juyeon finally reunites with his digital camera (he was surprised to see Marco let go of it so easily), and before he has the chance to think of a conversation topic to indulge in with you, you have his words catching in his throat at your own pace of speech.
“Have you been here for long?” you ask, flattering your eyelashes at him. Juyeon gasps before he presses his lips together into a tight line, shrugging.
“A bit.”
“Why haven’t you said hi?” you frown. “You said it’s your last night! You wouldn’t leave without a goodbye, would you?” you shake your head at him, playfully poking his shoulder with your pointer finger.
He was going to. Not anymore, he guesses.
“No,” he disagrees instead, “I was gonna look for you when it was my turn to leave,” he quickly comes up with an explanation, having your features relax as a warm smile overtakes your pretty features again.
Even with your face all bloody and your eyes having dark circles under them from eyeshadow (and mascara that weared off a little, which you were completely unaware of), Juyeon finds you absolutely, utterly and fascinatingly beautiful. He’s glad no one is able to read his inner monologue– or else he’d be the one with blood running down the side of his face. If the punch to seal the cut would be coming from you or your boyfriend, he’s not quite sure. 
Maybe both. The main thing is, you’re taken and his feelings aren’t reciprocated. 
Which is why his silly crush on you that maybe, just maybe, turned into something more meaningful was that much damaging to his poor soul. 
Because Juyeon swears he never loved anyone before, but after spending the night with you drinking cheap wine in his empty dorm room on his birthday completely alone– since it fell on a Sunday this year and he didn’t have that many friends yet to celebrate with, only having spending 2 weeks in Paris at the time– during which you taught him French swear words and kissed his cheek goodbye (which he thought may be a cultural thing, although he wasn’t sure); after all of this, he felt like you’re the person he’ll think of when someone asks him about his first love when he's old.
And even if he had the balls to do anything about it (which he didn’t), he simply couldn’t. You were out of reach.
“You’d better,” you hum, “or else I’d hitchhike a plane and come over to Korea just to kick your ass.”
“You can’t hitchhike a plane, you weirdo.” 
You sigh, shaking your head. “Of course I can. Watch me.”
Juyeon finds himself grinning at the adorable determination in your voice. It makes him feel a certain type of way that he knows he shouldn’t– but after spending 10 months with the feelings (5 of which you were single, 5 of which you’ve spent dating your boyfriend) and absorbing the idea of leaving you and everything behind tomorrow, Juyeon no longer feels as guilty about the act of loving you. Not anymore– not tonight.
“I like your costume,” Juyeon comments, pointing to the attire you’ve dressed yourself in.
“Really?” your eyes light up. “Look, I even wore the bow my idiot of a boyfriend said looks tacky,” you say, making a little twirl for the man. Your skirt flows nicely in the air and you stumble a bit due to the alcohol in your system, but when Juyeon catches you by your forearms and steadies you, there’s a content smile sitting on your lips despite your previous sentence.
“It looks pretty on you,” Juyeon hums, nodding. “It’s not tacky at all.”
“I always knew you had more taste than him,” you sigh dramatically, making Juyeon question your actions. 
Oh? 
“Anyways, I like your costume as well,” you comment. 
“Thanks,” he says, although his half-assed attempt at a Joker’s costume wasn’t anywhere near your level of preciseness, “Shotaro was supposed to go as Harley to match with me, but he pulled out of it at the last minute,” Juyeon pouts.
“Gosh! That would’ve been fucking amazing,” you laugh, swatting your friend in the arm playfully– the way you always do when you laugh– but as you come down from it, there’s a bitter tone in your voice. “I asked my boyfriend to wear a couple’s costume too, but he said all my costume ideas were lame.”
“Y/N–” Juyeon starts, wanting to speak up about the matter very obviously present in the conversation, wanting to console you, say anything, but you cut him off again– your courtesy– with a shrug and a grin on your face made to mask your true emotions (didn't work. Juyeon knows you too well).
“It’s okay. That’s why I dressed up as a slutty vampire just to spite him,” you say. 
“What’s his costume?” Juyeon asks.
“Not sure. I think he just bought the Scream mask, or something,” you mutter, rolling your eyes at the male.
And now, Juyeon was never big on gossip. But if gossiping meant poking fun at your boyfriend, the last night before his plane back home takes off is not the time he’s passing on a snarky comment. “Lame.”
“I’m so glad we are on the same page, Juyo.”
His heart leaps at the nickname– a lot of people call him that, but the tone you say it in, the sweet melody of your voice as you throw it at him like a promise (of everything and nothing at all– you’re fond of him, but never fond enough), only you have this effect on him when you call him that. He wishes he had you saying his name recorded, documented somewhere on his phone, your accent and all, so he could hear you say it when he foolishly misses you in the middle of the night, like he knows he will when he lays awake at home, in his tiny, silent room.
“Do you want to get out for a bit? It’s getting too hot in here,” you say as you wave yourself, hoping to cool off, but failing miserably with the heat created from the bodies swimming through the house, and Juyeon finds himself nodding at your question.
Your feet drag you outside of the house, the cold breeze instantly cooling down your sweaty bodies. You two stand on the front porch together, watching the world around you revolve in a fast, yet slow manner– there are couples making out in the corner of the yard, one of them pressed up against the tree, and friends chasing each other down in zombie costumes, passing by bottles of alcohol between each other. 
Juyeon hears you hum, making him turn his head towards you and see you offering a cigarette to him. He'd never been much of a smoker before, but Europe taught him to never turn down a cigarette when offered, and so he only takes out one out of the pack, watching you mirror his movements. You fish for your lighter in your bra (and Juyeon finds himself too mesmerized to look away during the action), clicking it and putting the flame against the cigarette trapped between his lips.
He doesn’t know what it is about the action that makes his eyes hooded as he watches you– noticing the forgotten speck of glitter from some step of your makeup routine under your eye, making him want to swipe his thumb over it and take it off for you– but he can’t get his gaze off you as he breaths in the smoke, his head going more fuzzy than it has been only a few minutes prior.
When Juyeon’s cigarette is lit, you move to light your own, all while the male watches you with almost a dreamy look on his face. Somehow, he’s glad no one’s watching you. He doesn’t think he would be able to conceal his feelings for you tonight.
“Are you gonna miss this?” you suddenly ask, looking up at him from his right.
You? Absolutely. 
“I think so,” he nods, “it’s a lot different to home, but I made a lot of memories here.”
He watches a hint of smile spreading over your features. “Do you remember when you accidentally told our professor you were horny instead of excited?” you laugh.
“Oh, shut up,” Juyeon laughs at the memory. His French never really got to a perfect level– that’s why most of you settled on speaking English between each other– but the first few weeks were a living hell of a language barrier for Lee Juyeon. “The more concerning part is that this is what made you approach me,” he notes.
“Well, I recognised that you needed help, and I was willing to provide it,” you say, taking a drag out of the cigarette and blowing the smoke into his face.
Juyeon looks at you through the smoke cloud, snickering. “I’m kinda grateful, though. You were the first friend I made here.”
You look at him with a tender look– something so full of care Juyeon swears he feels his stomach doing somersaults– before you press your lips into a solemn smile. “Well, I’m honored, Juyeon Lee,” you drag out in a posh accent, making the boy break out into a laugh.
He takes another drag off the cigarette, inviting the nicotine into his system. Mixed with the alcohol in his veins and your aura surrounding him, he almost feels on cloud 9, like he’s flowing in space and he can’t get down. He watches as you lean over the railing of the porch, forearms meeting with the metal in a set of goosebumps. Breeze flies through the air, making your barely-clothed figure shiver.
He knows he probably shouldn’t. Your boyfriend is somewhere inside, and although you two are seemingly in a weird sort of fight, it’s not his place to act as a gentleman. 
Still, Juyeon finds he has nothing to lose. He shrugs off the suit jacket he’s been wearing and drapes it over your shoulders wordlessly, noticing the way you look back at him over your shoulder with a soft smile on your lips. 
A comforting silence overtakes you two. Juyeon takes the last drag off the cigarette and puts it out on the iron railing, enjoying the effect your sheer presence has on him. The music coming out of inside is only a mere background noise now, providing him an occasional distraction to the buzzing of his own thoughts.
“Say, Juyo,” you start, “do you know where Dorothy lives?” you ask.
Juyeon hums in disagreement. “Don’t think I do. Why?”
“I’m sleeping over at hers tonight,” you mumble, mentioning your best friend– the girl Juyeon’s met plenty of times in the 10 months of knowing you. “I was supposed to stay at Andre’s, but I’m not talking to him right now.”
“Oh,” is all Juyeon says. The mention of your boyfriend always throws him off the track a little.
“I dunno where Dorothy went, but I’m getting kind of sleepy.”
“Why can’t you just go home?” he asks.
“Juyo,” you laugh, “my parents would kill me if I got home tipsy and smelling like cigarette smoke. Don’t you know how they are?” you joke, shaking your head in disbelief.
He doesn’t. He kind of wishes he had the chance to know, though– because if he knew your parents, maybe it would imply something. Signify something more.
“Do you want me to walk you to Dorothy’s?” 
“Yeah,” you nod, lids heavy. Juyeon doesn’t know what time it is, but the last time he checked, it was well past midnight– he doesn’t think he’d stay around much longer himself.
“Okay,” he nods, watching as you slowly peel yourself off the railing and wear his suit jacket properly, the fabric drowning you, but keeping you warm. The sight, the sentiment of it, makes Juyeon’s hands shake and his throat go dry. You’re so close, yet so out of his reach.
Your feet are slow as you march towards the direction of your best friend’s house. Juyeon doesn’t know how far it is, but he wishes for you to take the long way home– if those are the last moments he has with you, he wants to drag the evening out the best he can.
The night is quiet. The only thing ringing in your ears is the sound of your own footsteps, when Juyeon surprises himself with the question that noisily cuts out of his throat.
“Why don’t you break up with him?” he asks.
He expects you to go mad at the question– you were known to have quite the fierce temper. You and Andre have had a few problems in the past: he was known to be reckless with his snarky comments that somehow hurt your pride, his nasty behavior when he got drunk, and the not-so-happy opinion your parents had of him. You were known to blow things out of proportion, screaming, crying and making a scene whenever you could if you thought it was appropriate, known to talk about your conflicts with your friends and digging out opinions out of them on the matter.
Juyeon always made sure to give you lukewarm arguments whenever you asked him about your boyfriend. Never too heated to make himself seem suspicious. Your relationship was none of his business.
Again– tonight, though, he has nothing to lose.
“I dunno,” you shrug, your steps a little uneven on the pavement, “it’s… a matter of habit, maybe? It’s weird,” you say. 
The explanation gives Juyeon just about nothing. A matter of habit? Is it a habit to stay with someone? Was there not more needed for a relationship?
Juyeon doesn’t find it in him to reply. Instead, he lets you talk.
“I think I might love him, or something. I’m not really sure…” you mumble, the sentences breaking Juyeon’s heart a little by little, shattering it right in front of you on the pavement, “because if I didn’t, why else would I put up with all of this?” you ask, not really expecting an answer.
“All the shaming, the spiteful remarks. The pettiness, the silent treatment… tell me, Juyo, do I have any dignity?” you laugh, shaking your head in disbelief.
“Y/N…”
The snicker that escapes out of you quickly turns bitter. Your body grows impossibly closer to his, your hands sneaking around his bicep. You walk with linked arms, your head falling to his shoulder. “I don’t think I really love him, though,” you suddenly rebuttal, “‘cause like… I wouldn’t- I wouldn’t tell my grandkids about Andre, y’know? I think that’s the way you know. If you can imagine thinking so fondly about someone that you… that you’d mention them even in 50 years, ‘cause the memories still feel fresh and you’re delighted you once knew them, then…” you trail off, voice fading.
“Do you know what I mean?” you hum, pouting.
He does know.
“Sorry, I’m rambling–”
“No, I get you,” he reassures you, nodding to himself. 
“You always do,” you sigh, breaking Juyeon’s heart into a million pieces, “anyways, with that being said… I think I’m with him only because breaking up is too much of a hassle. And, I think I like the attention,” you splutter, laughing at yourself, “that’s… so desperate of me, I know. I’m starting to doubt if it’s even worth it.”
“He’s not,” Juyeon finds himself saying as you two cross the corner.
“You’re only saying that as my friend.”
“No, I’m saying that as your– as someone who cares…?” he stutters, mentally kicking himself for sounding so readable. Surely, you must’ve already noticed. If not from his current statement, then from the way he looked at you the whole night. You are a smart girl– you were always quick to point out the men that would soon hit on you when you were at the club. You have a good eye when it comes to others.
You only laugh, though. Oh, how Juyeon loves the sound.
“Thank you,” you hum.
You two fall silent for a while. Juyeon finds himself enjoying it. It feels comfortable– to walk with you through the emptied Paris, accompanied by the yellow lampposts and soulless streets. Only you two, your linked arms and his suit jacket around your shoulders.
“We’re at Dorothy’s,” you muse when your steps come to a halt, gesturing towards the silent, dark house on the other side of the street, “I think she’s not home yet, though. Her light would be on.”
Chewing on the inside of his cheek, Juyeon looks from the house and back at you, then back at the seemingly empty house again. “And now what?”
“I have to wait for her,” you shrug, “will you… keep me company?”
You don’t even have to ask. He’d always keep you company. 
“Well, I’m not just gonna let you stand alone in the street in the middle of the night, am I?” he playfully shakes his head in disbelief, but secretly enjoys the fact that he has more time with you before you have to pay each other goodbye.
“Always knew you were a gentleman.”
“Pretty sure that was my middle name,” he notes.
“I thought you said that was ‘handsome’ once?”
“I have two,” he laughs.
“Is that possible?” you tease.
“Of course! Look it up,” he says, turning to you as he talks. “My name’s actually Lee Handsome Gentleman Juyeon, it’s on my ID and everything,” he jokes, watching as your eyes turn into moon crescents and your throat lets out a fit of amused giggles.
Another playful punch to his shoulder. A happy sigh. A shake of your head, full of disbelief. 
“Damn, Juyo. I’ll miss you like crazy, you know?” you suddenly utter, making the boy’s heart fall down into his stomach. The implication of your words sounds a lot like a goodbye, and although he was aware of the fact that he was leaving before, he doesn’t think he really let the reality down on him until now. 
This time tomorrow, there will be no Paris. No Marco. No Shotaro. No Bence. No French locals, no bagels for breakfast, no shitty ass dorm room.
No you.
“I’ll miss you more,” he says. He thinks he’s right.
You’ll miss him like a friend. He’ll miss you like his first love.
You stare at him for a heartbeat. One, two– before you latch onto him, much like when you first met tonight. Your arms wrap around his neck, pulling him close, head resting on his shoulder only when you notice his hands wrapping around your middle. Breathing in your scent, Juyeon focuses very hard to keep his heart rate in check– it’s hard to not falter under your touch when your nose buries itself into his neck, cold skin nuzzling into his hot one, hands squeezing him tighter.
Juyeon doesn’t think you’ve ever hugged him like this before. 
And now, you won’t ever again.
You break away from him only enough to still be in his hold, your forehead resting against his. The new intimacy between the two of you makes him gulp, eyes focused into yours– watching the silver and gold swirl around your irises, counting your eyelashes. Noticing the faint mole on the top of your nose bridge. 
Foolishly letting his eyes dip lower. Memorizing the shape of your lips with his gaze. Taking in a shaky breath when he feels your fingers playing with the hair on his nape.
“Will you tell your grandkids about Paris?” you ask, voice barely louder than a whisper. Juyeon would almost think you’re suggesting something with your question, but when you speak up again, the suspicion is proved correct. “Will you tell them about me?”
The boy drags his eyes up back to yours. He examines the intention. He finalizes that he has nothing left to lose. 
Tomorrow, this will all be a memory. A moment out of his reach– much like you, all this time. A moment of time he experienced and won’t ever get back.
“I will,” he nods, swallowing. “Will you?”
You smile at the boy, the curve of your lips capturing his attention again. If anyone asked, he’d tell them it’s pure biology– the way his eyes zoomed in on your mouth the moment your expression changed. That’s how attention fluctuates– he learned about it in class somewhere, he’s fairly certain.
Why he’s unable to look back into your eyes after the question is a matter of something else, though.
“I think I might,” you breathe out.
There’s buzzing in his fingertips as he relishes the moment. The sentiment makes his knees weak, his brain fuzzy, his sight blurry and a little hazed. When he finally catches a glimpse of your gaze, he finds it glued to his mouth. 
He could take it as an invitation. 
He won’t, though.
“Kiss me?” you ask, whispering.
He shakes his head in disapproval. “I can’t.” 
Not when you’re taken. Not when he’s aware. Not when he knows you might regret this in the morning.
“Can I kiss you, then?” you ask. 
That, however, is a whole other situation. 
You asked to. You're making the first step. He doesn't have to feel guilty– who cares whether either of you might regret this decision tomorrow.
A simple nod–
that’s all it takes before you lock your lips with his. Your mouths move against each other with a passion he’s contained for his whole stay. You taste like vodka and orange juice, the slickness of your lip gloss making Juyeon’s lips slide against yours with more ease. He kisses you like you’d kiss your first love– with everything in him, with everything he is. 
He kisses you in a way that shows he wants to remember this forever. In a way that makes you lean even closer, pressing up firmly against him as you angle your head to make the kiss deeper. One of your hands moves from behind his head to twist itself deeper into his hair, tugging a little at the root to make the boy gasp under your actions. That has you inviting your tongue into his mouth, eager to taste him, to explore.
Juyeon doesn’t think he’s ever been kissed like this. He doesn’t think he’s ever felt so vulnerable, so open while kissing someone. This is him with his heart on a plate, naked and ready to be stabbed, squished by the weight of circumstances breathing onto his back.
His cold fingers move along your sides. Your hands settle on his shoulders to steady yourself, head pulling away to gasp for oxygen.
You look so pretty when he opens his eyes. Lipstick smudged and eyes blown out, hair a little messy from the October wind. He’s like an addict presented with his favorite drug– he can’t get enough, he can’t resist as he chases after you, leaving kisses along your jaw and the corner of your mouth, where the blood is, slowly meeting your lips again in another lock.
Everything else disappears. In this moment, there’s just you, you, you…
No flights. No weight of his own conscience. No boyfriends, no unsaid feelings. 
No regret.
And Juyeon thought he had nothing to lose, but suddenly, with you in his arms, he feels as if he’s being stripped of everything he never even had, only got the glimpse of last minute, a few hours before he’s gone.
You lean away again. Juyeon watches you with big eyes. A smile appears on your face as you move a finger up to his face, cleaning up the side of his mouth off the dark lipstick you’ve imprinted on him. He feels fragile under your touch. One bad move and he breaks, falls apart under you.
“You have to come back to visit one day,” you whisper, cradling the side of his face.
Juyeon nods. He doesn’t know if he’ll ever get the chance.
But as you stand on your tippy toes and press a kiss to his forehead, making a million different fireworks erupt in his stomach, he doesn’t let himself think of that (im)possibility. He watches as you smile at him, locking your eyes in a gaze tender and soft, yet electrifying, holding something special.
Before you take off to meet your best friend walking up the other side of the street, you hug him one last time and whisper into his ear.
“Goodbye, Juyo.”
Seeing as you lock your arms with Dorothy, walking up into the silent house and never looking back, Juyeon lets himself feel the last hint of longing for someone he always knew would never be his. And it’s strange, because he hasn’t even left yet, 
but oh, how he’d love to go to Paris again.
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noxxchive · 1 month
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✦ Dazai and Chuuya childhood headcanons (2/2) ✦
part 1
!!! THIS POST CONTAINS STORMBRINGER SPOILERS !!!
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♫ Orchard - OMORI
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✧ warnings : STORMBRINGER SPOILERS・mentions of s*icide, death, hospitalization, alcoholism, etc.・angst・pure angst…・ooc (???)
✧ a/n : got way too long im sorr… but I love chuuya so much and all these headcanons have been eating dust in the back of my head and im so happy (lie) to finally post them
w/c : 950
!!! these are just personal headcanons and are not accurate to the canon story !!!
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✦ Chuuya :
Chuuya’s parents weren’t blessed with a child even after years of marriage…
…So when he was born, they were so happy that they celebrated 3 days and nights (like the real Chuuya Nakahara !!)
Such a sweet boy… very polite and a tiny bit shy
He actually had an amazing bond with both his parents
And they loved him a lot, too!
How mini Chuuya would help his mom around the house, how he would randomly tell her that he loves her :,^)
Chuuya was probably interested in his father’s work (military doctor, like the real Chuuya’s father!!)
AUGHH he would peek at his dad working with those big blue curious eyes
Also, unlike Dazai, I headcanon that Chuuya has siblings!
2 little sisters!!
When his first little sister was born, he was probably around 3 or 4
Was quick to grow attached to his sister
And when his second sister came around, he was around 7
Was very overprotective of his sisters, and had a big soft spot for them
Would piggyback carry their younger sister every morning to school while holding his other sisters hand
Brilliant kid
Adored by absolutely everyone and everything
Chuuya and the family dinners with the rest of the Nakahara family SIGHHH
His mom always worried about him not eating enough (even though he did.)
His dad developed this hobby and habit of checking Chuuya and his sisters’ heights and mark them on the wall
Chuuya wasn’t the happiest when he figured that his younger sister was nearly the same height as him…
And regarding Stormbringer and how he was put in a lab…
Ohhh how his mom was losing her mind over Chuuya’s father allowing such a thing
His family kind of… grew distant and fell apart from then on
Constant arguing between his parents while he was in the lab… how his sister would cover their younger sister’s ears each time they’d argue
She’d ask where Chuuya had gone every now and then, but it was like a forbidden topic in the house
His mom would either tear up or just lash out on his sister
And his dad would yell and cuss her out, saying things like “Goddammit stop asking stupid questions! He’s fine for god’s sake!!! Be patient and he’ll be back sooner than you think!!!”
Chuuya’s dad wasn’t very happy with the decision he made either
Regretting it like crazy and losing sleep, losing focus…
And once the news broke that their one and only son was dead (aka his clone… fuck stormbringer bro…)
His family was worse than ever before.
Chuuya’s dad cried… a lot. Fell into being an alcoholic for a long time
His sisters? Despite their young age and how they couldn’t wrap their heads around the idea of death…
They were devastated. Completely had their hearts and souls shattered
But his mom… she was the worst out of them all
It broke her so much that she couldn’t even cry over her son’s death
She was left in a daze, unaware of her surroundings and just… in her own world
Though, once it registered in her mind? How she would scream and cry at odd hours of the night, begging for Chuuya…
She would push away anyone who would try to comfort her, hit them and curse them out, only wanting Chuuya
Even though Chuuya’s ‘death’ had sunk in and she understood it, she’d scream at everyone to get away from her and that ‘only Chuuya can come close to her’
S*icide attempts became a regular thing
…the amount of times Chuuya’s dad was called during work hours and just rushed home to stop his wife from taking her life…
His sister lost sleep and stopped being the top student at school because of how difficult everything had become
Their younger sister was a bit better, considering she was small
But it still hurt, she’d call Chuuya out of habit, just to remember that he was never gonna answer her calling out to him
His mom’s situation got so bad that she was hospitalized for years
And even now that the entire Nakahara family has accepted Chuuya’s ‘death’
His mom hasn’t. She’s doing a lot better than before getting hospitalized but…
She always seems to be spaced out. She doesn’t smile or laugh, and even when she does… it seems forced and it’s only for a brief moment
His mom doesn’t talk much, not to anyone
She often spends her time talking to framed pictures of Chuuya. She still cries every now and then, but tries to hide it…
And honestly? I think that Chuuya has considered going back to his family
He’s coincidentally seen his sisters and made sure they got home safely from school/work while watching from afar… then return to his own work
It scares him to go back, not only because of him putting their lives on the line for being a mafia executive
But also because he’s supposed to be ‘dead’. That’s what his family believed and has learned to live with…
So if he were to show up at his childhood home, he’d make them confused
And he can’t even imagine how they would react if he were to go back
So Chuuya just watches over them from a distance…
But maybe, just maybe one day he’ll gather up the courage and listen to the voice in his head telling him to go back
That day won’t be anytime soon, not now. He can’t go back until he’s sure the time is right for him to do so.
Until then, Chuuya just prays that they’ll stay safe and alive…
That’s when he can return to his family, his home…
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pinkslaystation · 21 days
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[Part 3] If I meant something to you.
toxic!Simon 'Ghost' Riley x Reader
Here's Part 1 and Part 2 hehehe enjoy ;> Word Count: 5k trigger warning: drugging. viewer discretion is adviced.
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Dating Simon reminded you of the British economy, constant fluctuations.
He would stay over at your flat, shower you with wet kisses, and the next day he'd walk right past you as if you didn't exist.
It felt like at times Simon did really love you. He listened you to, he brushed and plaited your hair post sex, but sometimes it's like his brain would switch and his behaviour would mimic that of a ghost.
Though it been nearly 3 months since he'd popped that question in the car, you often found yourself regretting your decision.
"I do like him...but I mean- it's just, he doesn't like me back you know? Sometimes I wake up and he's just staring at me like I've just told him I've killed his dog. I mean, he doesn't have a dog I don't think, but if he did, he'd prefer the dog over me, y'know.
I don't even know why I said yes that day. I mean, he's the first real guy that's actually shown interest in me. Maybe that's why I crave his attention so much. He makes me actually enjoy being with my family, if that's so hard to believ-"
"With all due disrespect, d'ya know you?" Your neighbour answers finally.
You stare back, blood rushing to your face, "I literally live next door to you. I smile at you before I leave for work every morning-"
"So, there's nothing wrong with your face?
"What? You know me- and I'm talking about Simon, he's next door to me too..."
"What?"
"You know skull face..."
"Who?"
"Tall buff dude, y'know."
"Huh?
"Riley-"
"Oh, the guy with the big dick."
You choke on your saliva, "What- How? Um..."
"Military dude yeah? The fit blonde? Yeah, he's big, if you get what I'm saying, virgin."
You furrow your eyebrows, words trailing off, "No I'm not...I'm sorry, how'd you know..."
"Yeah, he's fucked like everyone in this building, girl. Why d'ya think he doesn't come to the flat meetings? 'Cos then he'd be surrounded by all the people he's stuck his dick in, duh." She states like it was the most obvious thing in the world, "Guy comes in, drinks a bit, and runs out."
"...I thought it was because he was nervous to see....me?" At this point, you don't know if you're telling your neighbour or asking her.
"Oh girl don't be delusional, you ain't no Beyonce. Anyway, been a while since I got that dick. Let 'im know next time you see 'im." She winks at you before, hobbling off with her walking stick.
"Yeah...sure...wait- Mrs Brenda, you're like 65... AND MARRIED-"
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When the 3rd month anniversary mark finally reached, Simon decided to treat you to an expensive meal at a luxurious restaurant.
And by that I mean, 6 McNuggets at Maccies.
"They're cold, babe." He complains, slouching across you, one leg bent and propped on his seat.
Yes, Simon. Because you spent 15 minutes arguing with the worker for an extra packet of mayo. But you refrained yourself from saying that, in case you'd anger him further.
"So how's the task force?"
You've learnt very little about Simon, one part that stuck out to you was that the people he was closest to was his team in the military, naming his Captain John Price, who seemed to pop up in every conversation the two of you had.
"You got that 'lil mustache on yer face again."
"Excuse me?"
"Nah babe, it's cute. Reminds me of Captain's."
It hurt even more when he showed you a picture of John Price and you're face to face with a middle aged man with a full grown beard, who's being compared to the peach fuzz on your upper lip.
"Team's good." He sighs out of exhaustion. "Soap's engaged now, y'know."
You smile, mind suddenly racing to the thought of Simon proposing to you, but you shake it away, oddly cringing at the thought.
"'Old man's thinking of getting transferred to the States. Finally..."
The thought of Simon being jealous over his Captain was always a hidden theory for you. He'd mention it so frequently, it was as if he was keeping tabs on his superior, bringing it up at every moment at his signs of weakness. And when he'd compare Price to you, it was never in a positive light, rather one where it felt like he was looking down at Price, but through you.
You wondered if Simon had a superiority complex, and maybe that's why he'd chosen a little naive lamb like you, to project all of his insecurities onto you.
I mean, you're not gonna do anything about it are you? Nah, you're gonna take it like the good little girl you are.
I mean you are right now- literally.
His dick is cramped right in your pussy, his rounded tip rapidly kissing at your cervix. His chapped lips crash against yours, but you can't seem to ignore the faint taste of his Big Mac through his mouth.
"Can tell your cunt likes that, 'lil slut." He seethes out, through inconsistent breaths. You can barely hear him, through the sound of your sweaty bodies colliding and the ringing through your head.
You hum uncomfortably. It was gonna be a long night.
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The following weekend, you find yourself spending eons getting dolled up for a get together at the base. You decorated your face with a bold smokey eye, paired with a lined red lip, only to be mocked by Simon.
"Red? We're going to base, not the circus."
So you take off the lipstick. And the eye makeup. In fact, even when you changed from a tight black pencil skirt to a matching sweatshirt and joggers combination, you still find yourself being berated by Simon.
"Getting kinda lazy with the clothes huh, love?" He asks, cocking his eyebrows towards you.
Is he for real?
Grunting in response, you look out the window, shoving your headphones in, grateful for the noise cancelling feature so you wouldn't have to sit through Simon's mouth breathing throughout the journey.
The meeting itself was as awkward as imagined. The moment the pair of you entered the room, Simon decided to detach his arm wrapped around your shoulder and immediately brisk walk to the nearest woman possible. If he was trying to fool his team to thinking he was single...boy was he good at it.
Being left out in an unfamiliar space was unfortunately not too foreign for you, and you quickly found solace by the water fountain, sipping on a plastic cup of lukewarm water.
"Bored, eh?"
You jump, having zoned out.
You turn to a man you've seen oh so many times on Simon's phone.
"Captain John Price?" You smile.
"The one and only, lass. My, a pair of sweatpants. Priorising comfort, are we?" He jokes, lightly.
"Were you expecting lingerie?"
"Pretty either way." He chuckles, and you eye the way his eyes squint as he smiles, and the smile lines painting his cheeks. You shouldn't be looking at your boyfriend's competition captain this way.
You're at peace with John. You find yourself opening up about yourself, something you now know you couldn't truly do around Simon. John cared about what you said, reacting to every joke you dropped here and there, unlike Simon, who plays connect the dots with your forehead blemishes as you rant passionately.
John chuckles, "Oh God. Work sounds intense."
You hum, admiring his laughter, which cuts off to the sound of a loud buzzing (buttplug?) coming from his back pocket. He excuses himself from the conversation, but you can't help but eavesdrop.
"John Price speaking. Yes. Uh huh-what? Another soldier? Same substance? Christ's sake...Doctor's got a name? Succiny- Succinylc- what? Okay, okay. I'm coming, gimme 20 minutes-what, now? I'm...busy" He turns to flash you a small smile, "Okay, fine. Dammit."
"You okay, seemed urgent?"
He dramatically sighs, "We both got work problems...There's been a...how do i say this...another one of our soldiers have been getting drugged?" It sounds more of a question than an answer, "We think it's some sort of new drug on the black market, and now that our enemy's have a hold of it, our soldiers...fuck, getting drugged left, right and centr- Sorry, um, unauthorized information..." He trails off, realising he's said too much.
You're ears perk up, "Drugs? What are the um, symptoms?" You can't help but be curious.
John looks around, as if to check if anyone was listening to the conversation, though most people are hammered on hardcore liquor and cigarettes. He lowers his voice, "Starts off with headaches, nausea, then there's seizures...worst case scenario is paralysis. Gotten 4 of our soldiers already, poor men, had to be medically dismissed...."
You hum, silently and unsure of what to reply with. If you were attempting to flirt with John, the mood had definitely dissipated.
"But hey, listen. You ever need a change of pace, a better job, you can call me." He grabs your hand, and messily writes his phone number with a biro, winking before he leaves.
Maybe you will call him.
As the sky becomes darker and the clock strikes past 9 P.M., you find yourself walking outside the building, searching for Simon.
"...annoying."
Huh? You peer over the corner to overhear the conversation. Was that Simon?
"..follows me around a sad 'lil shit."
Was he talking about you?
You catch a quick glance, confirming that it was indeed a drunk Simon, with who you believe was Soap.
"Her mum's hotter, too. All over me." Simon boasts, whipping out his phone, presumably to show them a picture of your mother, as it sparks a 'milf alert' comment from Soap.
"...nothing compared to her. She's like a doormat."
You look at Simon, and for a second, you swear he made deliberate eye contact with you.
"She's fuckin' spineless."
For a moment, time pauses.
...
Spineless.
You're spineless.
I mean, it may be true. But the truth doesn't always have to come out, no?
After doing so much for this man, you'e still...spineless?
Laying at the comfort of your bed, dragging a tipsy Simon out of the car and him rushing to his flat, you find yourself gazing down at the smudged ink on your palm. Maybe it's time to switch your job.
Who knows who you'll run into...
That night, you rest, dreaming about John Price.
You're in an abyss in your dreams, John's pale muscular arms wrap around your frame, with the faint scent of cigars and whisky wafting around your nose. You blink and you see the bottom of his groomed beard, and small smile resting on his tired face.
You blink once more. But this time, you don't see John Price. This time, you're staring into the sullen eyes of a skeleton-masked man, lifelessly staring straight at you with no emotion. You look down the body of Simon.
The lower half of his body was missing.
By the third blink, you jolt awake and look around, but this time you're on the floor wrapped in your quilt and covered in sweat. Very much alone.
What was this dream trying to tell you?
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The jump from retail to cyber-operations was large and challenging. You went from serving customers to quite literally serving the country, from scanning items to defending the weapon's system. But 2 weeks into your new career and you feel like you've actually put your degree to some use.
Your family have been ringing you almost weekly, asking about your new position, although it's mainly your mother interrogating you about Simon.
And to say he was upset with your choice of working with the army, was an understatement, in his words, he felt like you were crowding him in all areas of his life. His home, his workplace, and now his mind.
You'd ask him to drop you off, considering he's going the same way, but he'd come up with unjustified excuses.
"Can't. Need to be there early."
"Nah, gonna distract me, love."
"Can't be seen with you." He mutters the last one, but you're not deaf and Simon can't exactly whisper very well. Sometimes you wonder why you haven't broken up with him.
So you've resorted to the next option.
Public transport. Calling John Price.
"You're not a burden, sweetheart. Who's been tellin' you that?"
You subordinate <3 But you can't say that, so you resort to casually laughing at his question. You can't help but think about the reoccurring dream you've been having, they always start the same.
You're in a abyss, and you're in the arms of John Price, you blink and suddenly face to face with the half-corpse of Simon. You're struggling to work out the deeper message of the visio-
"Love, you there? Went to lala-land or something?"
Think about John Price. Focus on him, why are you still bound to that jerk? You think.
"I'm good. So uh, how's the situation with you? And the um...drugs thing?" You look at him, your words surprising yourself, since when did you have an interest in drugs?
"Oh, uh. We're not allowed to disclose that sweetheart...besides, Simon didn't tell you? Kinda big thing here..."
Of course, Simon wouldn't tell me, why would he? You tell me, John.
You give him your best puppy dog eyes, eyebrows knitting together, "Oh..."
He runs his thick fingers through his brunette hair, adjusting himself in his seat, "Succinylcholine. There's a mixture, but that's the main component. Causes paralysis to the legs and spine...seems like that's what they wanted, to paralyse our soldiers, 7th victim this we..."
Paralysis huh. You turn to look at the passing trees outside the windows. Paralysis to the spine and legs...
By the time you reach work, you're at your computer by your desk, typing away at the lines of code on your programme, once again eavesdropping to the conversations in your vicinity.
"...it's the same location they keep getting deployed, why are they getting deployed there again?"
"Captain Price is going this time..."
"...2nd guy's in a coma now..."
The chatter dies down to the loud slam of the door: Your supervisor.
"People. Come on. Chop chop, we have deadlines to meet. Stop the chatter, fucks sake."
You get back to your screen, but you can't help but shake the unsettling feeling off your mind.
Ding!
11:26 A.M. Si:- Come outside on your break. Need to talk.
I guess you're finally breaking up.
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"Getting deployed."
Simon's scarred hands caress yours, gently lifting your ring finger and slotting a shiny silver ring, with a skull stuck in the center. You think back to the times where you told Simon that you preferred gold jewelry over silver, since it complimented your skin tone better. To love is to be seen I guess.
A crowd of soldiers begin whistling at the scene, and Simon retracts his hands almost instantaneously.
"Wanted to give this to you for anniversary...but I ordered it a little late."
You hum, immediately twisting the ring around your ring. It's tight and cramped.
"How's work?" He asks, his eyes roaming around the people behind you, his gaze not falling on you once since the conversation had started.
"Oh it's goo-"
"Cool. So um, here's my key if you need something." He hands you his key, more like shoving it into your chest, before pressing a chaste kiss on your forehead and running off towards the crowd of soldiers that were now practicing drills.
Seems like you've gotten promoted from girlfriend to house-keeper.
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By 8 P.M., you and a handful of your colleagues began to go home.
With your 4th cup of caffeine in your hand, you check Simon's text once more.
7:52 P.M. Si:- What time u finish Si:- 8? Si:- Too long to wait, going home
He couldn't wait 8 minutes?
As you trudge past the empty hallway, you're met face to face with the door of the lab, which you notice was half open.
You felt like a character in Alice in Wonderland. Trespassing is a crime, is it not?
A normal person would just inform a staff member and go home right? Definitely wouldn't enter the room. And definitely wouldn't head straight towards the counter that held various labelled test tubes.
Definitely wouldn't snatch a test tube labelled danger, and most definitely stuff it in their bag and run out the door, as if they haven't basically committed a crime.
But it's a good thing you wouldn't consider yourself a normal person.
The wind blows against your skin when you finally make it outside, and it feels like natures punishing you for breaking into the army's laboratory. With your bag clutched tightly against your chest, your mind begins racing - what if someone saw you? What about cameras? What if-
"There you are love. Thought I'd have to come 'n get you myself."
John leans against his range rover, wrapping his large military jacket around your shoulders, and you instantly lean into his towering frame.
"John...didn't you go home?"
He shakes his head. "Saw Simon speeding off the moment we finished, thought you needed a ride, especially at this time."
The wind blows against you again, and your smile falters, remembering the contents of your bag.
"Can we go home now? Please?"
A comforting silence accompanied the drive, with John's palm ghosting your thigh ever so slightly and you had to resist every urge in your body to just lock hands with him.
So you do.
His large hand encompassing yours completely. If his grin could widen anymore, they just did, and you swear you could see faint dimples decorating his cheeks.
But they fall just as quickly, jerking his hand back.
"Nice ring."
You're visibly confused, eyes dragging back to the tight skull band wrapped around your ring finger.
Fuck you, Simon.
When you exit John's car at the entrance of the block of flats, your eyes catch another deep brown pair of menacing eyes, standing at the balcony, hiding behind a black balaclava. You can't see the lower portion of the face, but you'd bet your life that there was a smirk hidden behind the cloth.
You grit your teeth, tossing the ring by the nearest bush as the car drives off. The grip around your bag tightens, and you remember the test tube.
If you're going to ruin my chances of love, I'll ruin your chances of life, Simon Riley.
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A week later and the test tube lay aimlessly on your bedside time, alongside a small post card gifted yesterday from your truly. John Price, that is, not Simon.
Leaving soon - If I find something you like, I'll bring it for you :-D - J Price
Even the way he drew his little smiley faces warmed you.
On the other hand, Simon had shot you a single text, ignoring all the spelling mistakes.
Si:- bee home ina mont. by.
When he gets home, you're immediately breaking up with him, assigning yourself mental homework.
But for the meanwhile, you have to decide what to do with the test tube...for now you decide it's too risky to keep it at home, who knows if the wrong people get their hands on it.
So you opt to shoving into deep into your purse.
At work, as you walk back to your team's common room, you hear the commotion coming from the...laboratory?
"Doctor, how careless are you?"
"Sir...I-I-I didn't do anything! The lab was locked, I don't know who would have taken it-"
"And how are we sure you haven't stolen it? I mean for all we know, you might have the drug at home. How do we know you're a traitor and working for the other side. I should have you reported."
"Boss, you've known me for the longest! And why don't you stop shouting me and get these cameras fixed already-"
"Captain Price's gonna flip and fire his entire team when he comes back-"
"If he comes back that is-"
"Boy if you don't shut your mout-"
Scurrying to the common room, you shut the door abruptly. You don't why you stole the drug, but you do know you can't let anyone find out about what you did.
Not Simon.
Not John.
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A month had nearly gone by, and a train of gifts has began coming, from small affirmation notes to bags of lego flower bouquets and teddy bears. All of course, accompanied by a small note with the signature smiley face :-D.
Considering the notes weren't hand written, you couldn't tell whether it was from Simon or John, though it was quite obvious. Even though you liked John, you couldn't help but feel some sort of sorrow towards Simon. I mean, who else does he have apart from you?
On a dark Friday evening while you and your team were getting ready to leave, the sound of shouting followed by stampede coursed through the hallway. Screams of terror broke from whom you made out to be doctors and nurses.
"What's happening?" You turn to your coworker.
"More people have gotten drugged, like 7 this time..."
You couldn't help but feel a wave of guilt washing over you, considering a sample of the weapon of the crime was quite literally concealed with your belongings.
"Oh -"
"Apparently, Captain Price and Liutentant Riley were involved."
That was enough to strike a nerve. You don't know which name hit you harder, but before your colleague could even stop you, you began sprinting down the hallway towards the hospital rooms.
By the time you reach though, it's already too late, and the doors have shut, the nurse informing you that surgeries have already begun undergoing. But for who, they didn't disclose.
It didn't matter who it was, you just had a reoccurring thought that if maybe you had left the sample alone, maybe a curve could have already been developed.
Oh God, this is your fault isn't it....?
A person's going to die in your hands, and you're not even a soldier.
With discomfort running through your nerves, you sit by the hospital rooms, your hands feeling heavy under the weight of your head, waiting to hear more from the nurses. But as they rush in and out of the room with urgency, your voice gradually drowns out by the monotonous beeping of the machines inside.
4 hours go by, and you can't tell if it from the lack of sleep or not, but the staff around you shoot you looks of pity as if you're in critical condition. Those hours in the waiting room felt like hell, and you couldn't help but notice the lack security in the building. No cameras again, huh?
"Nurse, is John Price in there?" You ask wearily, the strain in your voice was evident.
The nurse shakes her head, "It's Lieutenant Riley."
Your breath hitches, and unfortunately you can't help but a slight feeling of relief.
"Is he okay? Was he...drugged?"
The nurse clenches her jaw, "That information can't be disclos-"
"He's my boyfriend." You urge, standing up to meet the nurse eye to eye.
The palpable tension in the air was uncomfortable and pervasive, hanging over the room like a heavy fog, and the nurse eventually breaks, slowly opening the door to what looked like a corpse.
"No traces of the drugs were found in his body, but there's no way to really say in the early stages...He is displaying some symptoms however..." She reads off a clipboard.
You nod, though her words aren't really getting to your head, "Like...paralysis?" There's no movement from the bed, just the constant ringing from the machines.
The nurse pauses, "No. Headaches, and muscle pain, just the regular. Bullet shot in the shoulder, but that's been taken care off. We're still monitoring him. I'll be outside if you need anything." With that she leaves, shutting the door behind you. And you find yourself alone with Simon's corpse.
Simon's face looks like broken china, like fine art but damaged externally, yet still holding the essence of its beauty within. His features, usually composed and serene, now bore the cracks of strain and worry. His under eyes were now darker than ever, and you couldn't help but press your now tear soaked lips across his rough cheek, until you stopped.
His neck, though scarred, bore scattered red marks, which you know could be confused with a rash. But it wasn't.
They were hickies.
Fresh hickies.
It's been a month since you've last seen Simon, so you immediately rule out yourself, disregarding the fact that you haven't even been intimate with anyone in a while.
As you sit beside the bed, a surge of anger rises within you, fueled by the betrayal and disappointment coursing through your veins. You want nothing more than to confront Simon, to unleash a torrent of accusatory questions upon him, but you know it would be futile.
His chest rises and falls gently, a stark contrast to the turmoil raging within you.
The situations looks like that particular scene straight from your dreams. Dark room, alone with Simon, him laying there still.
His body is still intact, you think. Intact and littered with marks.
You try to recall what happens in the dreams after this, but you always wake up at the last second.
And you can't help but inch your hand towards your purse., the outline of the test tube screaming at you to finally use it.
Use it for the reason you had originally stolen it for.
Use me.
Drug him. It screams. It's not like he ever loved you? Francesca, remember her? The other women? Your own mother, your own flesh and blood? Think about the times he forgot your anniversary, your birthday, when he insulted you, in front of you, in front of others, hell, even behind your back! You're spineless remember.
I mean you'd be doing the world a favour, getting rid of this from this world, wouldn't you?
Wouldn't you.
John Price would be proud of you wouldn't he?
He finally be with you.
With a steady hand, you reached into your purse and retrieved the test tube, its contents glinting in the dim light of the hospital room. You hesitated for a moment, your heart pounding in your chest, before steeling yourself and uncapping the tube.
The acrid scent of the drug filled the air, its toxic fumes making you gag slightly. But you pushed past the discomfort, focusing all your attention on the task at hand. With precision, you extracted the entire liquid from the tube and carefully poured it into Simon's IV drip, mentally wincing at how effortlessly you had manipulated the situation.
You have to get rid of the drug somehow, and if it means using it against him, then so be it.
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The next morning had come and you're awaken by the phone buzzing by your bedside table, the screen lighting up with John's name. You hesitate, your fingers hovering over the screen for a moment before you finally answer, steeling yourself for whatever news awaits you on the other end of the line.
"Hello?" Your voice comes out strained, betraying the anxiety churning within you.
"Hey angel, it's me," John's voice crackles through the phone, the urgency in his tone palpable. "You need to come to the hospital. It's Simon."
Without a word, you hang up the phone and hail a cab, the journey to the hospital passing in a blur of anxious thoughts and racing heartbeat. Did they find out you stole the drugs? No...how could they? The empty test tube is in your bin, at home, not at the hospital and there's no cameras at you recall...
Arriving at the hospital, you're met with a scene of controlled chaos. Doctors and nurses bustle about, their faces tense with worry. You navigate through the maze of corridors, the familiar scent of antiseptic hanging heavy in the air.
Finally, you reach Simon's bedside, and what you see makes your heart drop into the pit of your stomach. Simon manually lies propped up against the pillows, his face pale and drawn, his body racked with violent tremors as he retches into a basin. The sight is enough to make you physically ill, although it slowly dissipates, seeing the now purple marks on his necks darkening.
John appears beside you, and without a word, he takes your hand in his, his grip steady and reassuring, pressing a small kiss at the side of your head. In that fleeting moment, the world falls away, leaving only the two of you suspended in time.
"I'll be outside," he mumbles, leaving with you with Simon.
With a heavy heart, you take a seat beside him. Simon looks up at you, his eyes filled with a mixture of confusion. It takes all your strength to meet his gaze, the truth burning like acid on your tongue.
"Hey." He groans out. He can barely move, as his head painfully cranes to look at you, the effects of the drugs taking effect slowly.
"What happened." But it's more of a demand than a question.
Simon sniffs, "Traces of drugs..."
"No. I meant your neck."
He pauses, like he was trying to carefully choose his words, though he didn't have much of a escape now.
"Don't act like I see you and Price-"
"Don't bring him into this, Simon."
Don't lie to me anymore.
A tear rolls down his cheek, but you can't tell if it's crocodile tears or not.
"They-they... dismissed me."
You hum, a smirk gradually building up on your face.
"Why?"
Simon closes his eyes, "Back. My spine. Can't move it..."
You let out a slow, deep breath, feeling the weight of the situation pressing down on you like a heavy stone.
"I know." Your voice is barely above a whisper, but the words hang heavy in the air between you. "I drugged you."
Simon's eyes wince once again, studying your face silently.
"Excuse me?" He begins.
You stand up, placing your purse back on your shoulder.
"What- what do you mean? You he-heard me? Love. Listen to me-"
You walk towards the door.
"WAIT. Wait. What do you mean you knew? You said you knew. What. What did you do. Sweetheart. Come back. Let's talk. You love me don't you? I love you! Where's that ring I gave you?"
You laugh, twisting the door handle.
"Baby, you better not fuckin' leav- THEY'LL FIND OUT-"
"And who's going to believe a damaged, deluded man, Simon Riley? You were out on a mission, I'll pin the blame on the enemies."
Simon shakes in his bed, unable to control any part of his body now. "WHAT DID YOU DO TO ME- HOW FUCKIN' DARE YOU- After that life I gave you-"
"Life? You call that living?"
"I LOVED YOU WHEN NO ONE ELSE DID-" His voice is painfully loud now, you're wondering how no one's running to his room already.
"Love? You don't know one thing about love, you fucker."
"I should have never fucked you, you- YOU BITCH-" He shouts, his body flailing violently, globes of tears racing down his clenched jaw and red cheeks.
"Rot in hell Simon Riley, I guess we're both fucking spineless now."
And that's a wrap for this mini seriesss - thank all of you for sticking around ;D IM AWARE IT TOOK SO LONG- I KEPT WRITING IT AND FOR SOME REASON IT DIDN'T AUTOSAVE LIKE TWICE??? SO I HAD TO REWRITE IT- Quick Notes: Let's all be real. We wanted reader to get with ol' john boy. But let's also be for real, if Reader was an object, she'd be a doormat. Although I've implied John Price x You, the bitch really needs to focus on herself and sort her shit out right now 💀 in the near future they're together for sure. ALSO the reference of drugs is highly inaccurate but let's all switch our imaginations on <3 lemme know you're interested to be tagged in my future posts! tags -> @lilliumrorum, @kxtz3, @poohkie90, @rainlovesyou12 , @restrictionsapply-blog , @lunamoonbby , @nigthmar3moon , @thychuvaluswife , @itsnourm , @bubusi11, @owkittie, @cheomain , @corvusmorte , @k4es , @mandythemint , @copiasratscheese , @yyiikes , @funkyyysho3s
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