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j-graysonlibrary · 8 months

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The Xiang Chronicles: Book One Chapter 6

Title: The Xiang Chronicles: Book One

Author: Jay Grayson

Word Count: 83k

Genres: Fantasy, adventure, drama, LGBT+

Available on: my website

Synopsis: Every few centuries a hero is born—one chosen by the God Tiandi to carry out his will in the mortal realm. The Xiang. Whether it is to quell a war instigated by the forces of shadow—of Shakti herself—or whether it is the miasma that poisons the world, the Xiang is born to bring the world back into balance.

Shu Pangu Min knows what his purpose is and he does his best to fulfill it even if he doesn’t fully understand all of the details. He must travel from city to city—lord to lord—to clear out the miasma. Along the way, he is to enlist the aid of four disciples. Each is to be of a different country and each must have high resonance and deep faith.

The holy men who raised him have great confidence in his future successes and they leave him to begin his journey on his own. But, can Pangu live up to the expectations of those around him? Can he really save the land like all other Xiang before him or will his unconventional methods doom them all?

Full chapter 6 under the cut

Chapter VI

With cleared roadways and the rebuilding of houses and businesses well underway, Pangu stood in the town square and took a steady breath. Many of the citizens were also standing around and watching, waiting to see the Xiang purify their city of the miasma clinging to the air.

It wasn’t very thick but it had definitely been whipped up by the storm and the resulting stress. Pangu couldn’t very well leave the city without clearing it.

His mind was crowded with conflicting thoughts and feelings—he was happy to finally be diving into his true purpose but, at the same time, he felt that something was off.

It had to do with Kira, he knew.

When he and Raine went back to the shack in the woods after catching up with Lord Cu Devati Shi, they found the shack empty. He had fled, probably back to Terra if Pangu were to guess.

With a forced smile, Pangu pushed the thoughts from his mind and focused on the miasma. He could feel it around him and he recalled the few things that his teachers had told him about the poison. As he pulled the miasma closer to him, he turned his body in a fluid step.

The dance was simple and involved a lot of spinning and large steps but it appeared to captivate the crowd regardless. Raine stood closest and watched with interest—expecting to see something concrete. As if a black mist would come rolling in and be absorbed by the Xiang. It was what many of the old poems had described but nothing of the sort happened.

Luckily, the dance was enough of a display to satisfy the audience and the air did feel lighter after the ordeal. Pangu sat down on the stone steps beside the statue of Xiang Kern in the center of the city and let out a ragged breath.

It hadn’t been a large quantity but he definitely felt it. A pressure built up inside of him, causing his limbs to shake lightly and his head to become fuzzy. He didn’t even realize how long he had been sitting there in recovery until Raine took a seat beside him and rubbed his hand along his back.

“Everything okay, Pangu?” His voice was soft as usual and full of concern.

He nodded. “Yes…sorry. I am prepared to head out now.” Pangu smiled over at him to reassure him. And to reassure himself a little as well. If this was what it felt like with a small amount of miasma, he dreaded the larger concentrations.

“If you need longer to rest, you should,” Raine said with a frown.

“No, we need to move.” With a bit of extra energy, Pangu collected himself and rose to his feet. He was still a little lightheaded and his legs wobbled but he felt he could continue.

Raine kept a hand on him anyway, gently letting him know that he was there for him. Pangu appreciated the gesture and stayed close.

As they left the city, he waved at the people who had stayed around to see him off. A young girl—no older than ten—rushed to the gate with a flower in her hand. She lifted it up to Pangu with the intent for him to take it.

“Thank you for saving us, Xiang,” she spoke with a wide grin, “Be careful on your trip!”

Pangu took the flower and patted her on the head. “Thank you, kind stranger. Be good for your parents, okay?”

She giggled and ran off, presumably back to her home. Pangu walked forward and placed the flower behind his ear, giving Raine a cheeky look.

“Does it suit me?”

His disciple chuckled and nodded. “Very much so, Pangu. You look lovely.”

He laughed as well and held onto the man’s arm. His legs hadn’t quite regained their full strength so it was easier to walk with him as support. Raine didn’t object so he was free to keep holding on.

Not much longer after the departure of the Xiang, the bank owner and a group of three men took the same route. Mr. Gin’s companions were clearly being paid by him as either escorts or something else.

Kira watched them from an overlooking hill and noticed an aura that he found rather menacing. There was no reason for the bank owner to leave his city—especially not in pursuit of the Xiang.

It wasn’t the direction he was headed but Kira wanted to see what unfolded so he kept his distance and followed the man. Just because he had declined the Xiang’s offer didn’t mean that he disliked him or wanted to see him fail. He especially didn’t want him to be trailed by some sleazy business man.

Pangu and Raine were, of course, completely unaware of the group behind them. Pangu started to feel better and he assumed the miasma was dissolving in his body somewhere. The gift of Tiandi was keeping it from entering his blood or affecting his brain.

He was still in a less than an ideal mood though.

And Raine noticed. “Are you still recovering from the miasma?”

“No,” Pangu responded with the shake of his head. “I’m thinking about Kira.”

“You still wish that he had become your second disciple?” Raine guessed and glanced down at him.

“Do you mean to tell me you didn’t feel anything around him?” he asked in turn.

“Well, I suppose he was handsome and charming but I do not think that necessarily makes him a good choice for disciple.”

Pangu stared at Raine for a few moments before bursting out in laughter. “I didn’t mean that, Raine. I was talking about his resonance—you did not feel that?”

The man turned bright red and looked away. “I…well…I am not sure I have the same senses as you do in that area. That is why I was confused and perhaps my answer didn’t make much sense…”

“You aren’t wrong,” Pangu said with a chuckle, “Kira is very handsome but it is not the main point. I suppose you cannot sense resonance since I have yet to unlock your ability.”

“Yes, that must be it…” Raine continued to blush furiously but tried to keep a stern expression on his face to hide his embarrassment.

Pangu rubbed his elbow against his side. He couldn’t resist the opportunity to tease the man. “I did not realize that would be your type, Raine.”

“His is not,” he rejected the notion wholly, “He is a criminal—do not forget.”

“Mhm.” Pangu nodded. “He admitted to many crimes, yes, but I did not personally see him commit any.”

Raine quirked an eyebrow. “You have doubts?”

“Not necessarily doubts but I think there was more to those instances than we realize. We only know one side.”

“Yes. His side. Where he admitted to stealing and killing.”

Pangu shrugged. “So he says.”

Raine stared at him in slight disbelief as they walked. “…he must have an astronomically high resonance for you to look past his transgressions.”

“It doesn’t matter anyway,” the Xiang responded and sighed, “He doesn’t want to be a disciple so I cannot force him.”

That was a good point, Raine was aware. As he’d said before, only the individual could refuse discipleship—not their boss or country. It was a good thing Kira so blatantly refused or else he would be on the road with them.

Maybe he wouldn’t commit any crimes while in the company of the Xiang but his blasé attitude to what he admitted to made Raine worry. Someone that uncaring about ethics could not be fully trusted—regardless of how strong or full of potential he might have been.

If they were lucky, they would find an equally strong candidate later on and Pangu would forget about Kira. Raine wasn’t sure he’d be able to forget about Kira but he knew it was best if he did.

Off of the road the object of their conversation followed closer to the Xiang and his disciple—keeping an equal distance between them and the bank owner. He hadn’t been spotted yet and he intended to keep it that way.

As the duo neared the next town, Kira spotted some commotion in the woods close to them. He had a feeling of what was to transpire before the armored man jumped into the road.

He couldn’t hear the words but he could guess that the man was a highway man, trying to squeeze money out of the Xiang in exchange for passage. Kira shook his head and lowered himself to the ground as he watched.

The Xiang reached into his bag and pulled something out. “Surely, he isn’t really going to pay him,” Kira thought aloud.

More words were exchanged and at least Raine had his weapon out and at the ready. Kira still couldn’t tell if any money was passed between them but the highway man stepped to the side and let them pass.

He snuck along the hillside, keeping his eyes on the scene. The highway man walked back into the road behind them and just watched as they continued ahead.

Kira frowned and started to make his way down and toward the man. He didn’t trust him based on his body language. “Hey, robber,” he caught his attention, “Did you just take money from the Xiang?”

Wide, confused eyes landed on him. “What? No…he showed his script of passage so I let him off the hook with a discount.”

“You still made him pay?” Kira took a step closer.

“Only half,” he insisted, “he’s got plenty! I need the money more than he does.”

Kira chuckled before pulling out a knife and pointing it to the man’s throat. “Give me what you stole and I’ll consider sparing your life. How’s that for a discount?”

“I’ve got more men with me in the woods. You don’t wanna mess with me,” the man said with a wavering voice.

“I’ll take all of you. I have a few moments to spare,” Kira said with a smirk. He pressed the blade closer. “Call them.”

***

The closest town came into view just after sundown. Dim lights from lanterns both in and out of the buildings guided the two onward. Few people were out—either they were on their way home from work or they were headed to the inn for a few drinks.

Pangu and Raine made a beeline to the inn, needing to rest. Camping out in the open was not exceptionally fun and Pangu much preferred to sleep on a cot, in a room. Raine was a bit more used to sleeping on the ground but he did enjoy the comforts of an inn where possible.

The owner of the inn wrote their names down and handed over a key. “If you would like, there is a special on the ale on tap for soldiers this week,” she said as she looked at Raine.

“Oh…I don’t drink,” Raine responded with a polite smile, “Thank you though.”

“If we had more money I would consider grabbing a pint,” Pangu mentioned and sighed.

“You drink?” Raine asked, surprised.

“I have wine on occasion.”

“You’re allowed?”

Pangu laughed. “It isn’t not allowed. None of my teachers advised me against it anyway. Of course excess would be looked down on but one glass every here and there is no problem.”

They walked past the bar on the way to the stairs and Pangu glanced at the prices out of curiosity. Raine must have taken notice since he stopped.

“Do you want a glass before bed? I have enough coin to spare…”

“No, that’s sweet though,” Pangu responded and laughed a little. He patted the man on the arm.

“Well the offer is there,” Rain insisted as they continued to walk.

Up the stairs, the two found their room with one, small cot situated in the middle. Pangu knew what was about to happen so, before his companion even opened his mouth, he stated, “I am quite alright with sharing, Raine. You do not have to sleep on the floor.”

His disciple looked at him, confused, and then finally, he asked, “How did you know that I was going to suggest…?”

Pangu smiled and shook his head. “You are easy to read, my friend.”

Thankfully, for Pangu’s sanity, Raine didn’t argue with him on this. They both took off their outer layers of clothes—mostly Raine who had to remove quite a lot of armor in order to be comfortable. It was the first time since Pangu had met him that he’d seen him without the ornate set on.

He was even bigger without it somehow. The armor had given the illusion that, maybe, he was so large because of it but without it, it was clear that most of that mass was actually him.

It did make the issue of them both fitting into the bed a little more precarious. Pangu tried to take up as little space as possible and he could tell Raine was doing the same.

Though, once they were both in bed, it didn’t really matter. The exhaustion of the past few days caught up with them and both men fell asleep within seconds.

In the morning, Pangu woke up to a warm body around him. He had expected as much but he was surprised to see Raine’s arm draped over the side of him. A smile stretched across his face and he considered waking the man up just to tease him but he decided against it.

Instead, he slipped off of the cot and started to throw on his outer robes. He wondered if there was a bath house or some natural spring in the area they could use as well before continuing on their journey. Perhaps the locals would let him in on all the good spots once he cleared the miasma from the town.

He walked around to Raine’s side of the bed and shook him gently. “Let us find the mayor or whoever is in charge here.”

If they were lucky, they could get everything taken care of in one day. That was Pangu’s hope anyway.

On the way out of the inn, they had to pass by the bar again. A man was already sitting there with a drink, even at the early hour. That alone would have been an oddity but the man reached out and grabbed Pangu as they walked by.

“Hey,” Raine promptly removed the stranger’s hand, “What is your interest in the Xiang?”

The drunken man turned in his stool and waved his hands in front of his face. “Do not hit me! I just have important information…”

Pangu tilted his head to the side. “What information? For me?”

He nodded. “Clearing the miasma in town won’t help us…the mayor ignores the source.”

Pangu and Raine exchanged glances before Raine demanded, “Tell us what you know.”

“There is a hole in the ground…in the woods west of here. I’ve seen it. The dark fumes…”

A look of concern fell on Pangu’s face. If the miasma was thick enough to be visible then it was truly dangerous. He couldn’t leave it.

“We still have to announce ourselves to the mayor,” Raine stated.

“Yes,” Pangu agreed, “but after we meet with him, would you be willing to lead us to this spot?”

“Oh, yes,” the man said and half-bowed from his position on the bar stool, “I would be most honored. I-I’ll be waiting here. Yes. Right here.”

Pangu smiled a little. “Alright. We will be back.”

In the corner of the bar, surrounded by books and with a scroll covering their face, Kira listened in. He peered over the scroll to see the Xiang and Raine leave while the drunken man turned back to his drink and laughed.

“Easy as boss said,” he muttered but Kira was still able to hear him.

He was definitely one of the men that the bank owner had hired to follow the Xiang on the road. Of course neither the Xiang nor Raine were aware of this but Kira knew it well. His grip tightened on the scroll.

He’d have to keep following them, it seemed.

#the xiang chronicles #my novel #my writing

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kasha-formerlydrabbletastic · 3 years

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Six Ways From Sunday

Part 1, 2, 4, 5

Steve Rogers x Fem!Reader

Summary: Steve is frustrated on a solo mission, so the reader helps distract him from his troubles. Things seem to go as they should until the pair’s arrangement is found out.

Word count: 2,756

Warnings: Mature readers only, 18+ - minors do not interact! Cybersex, masturbation, mutual masturbation, swearing, possible secondhand embarrassment at the end.

Oh, Stevie.

His text is just an explosion of frustration, airing out his grievances against the solo mission he’s on. It’s tedious, time-consuming, an overall a waste of every resource he has. He’s working on false information given to him by a confidential informant who seemed much like they weren’t really sure what they were telling him was true either. Dead ends everywhere, backtracking, stupid people.... everything is going wrong.

Paris, it seems, is kicking his ass.

Okay, you text back. Do you want a solution or a distraction?

It takes him a moment to reply.

Distraction, he says.

Oh, I’ve got a distraction for you, you answer, and you do.

Giggling, you pull up a picture you took the other day; you had wanted to feel sexy, so you rifled through your collection of lingerie, picking out a black corset and a matching lace thong, completing the look with a pair of fishnet thigh-highs held up by garters and a pair of heels. Your hair was perfectly disheveled, like you had just finished with a romp in the sack with some pretty young thing. You had even done your make-up, a gorgeous smoky eye with perfectly blood-red lips.

In the mirror you had been a vision, smoldering hot and ready for action.

The pictures themselves, however, left a lot to be desired. You didn’t like the poses you chose, some feeling too unrealistic to you, and others feeling way too boring. The expressions you made felt ridiculous; like, how is it all believable to have your lips pursed like that? Why do your eyes look so sleepy when they should be looking to lure men to their knees with a single glance?

You had kept the pictures, hoping that with a little time, you’d change your mind and they’d suddenly feel like the sexiest thing you’d ever done. On the contrary, looking at them right now still feels outright laughable.

Steve will get a kick out of them, too. That should brighten his day.

You pick the one you took sitting in a chair, your legs wide open and your eyelids half-closed, your lips parted in a silly sigh.

“And send!” you chuckle to yourself, sitting back in bed to await his response.

It’s a couple minutes later when you’ve started reading your e-book again that your phone buzzes.

Fuck, Y/N.

Hilarious, right? Don’t know what I was thinking, lol

I don’t know what you were thinking either, but I know what I’m thinking.

Your brow rumples over your nose in confusion, and you’re unsure how to go about responding to that. But just when you decide what to say, Steve sends another message.

It’s a pity there are over 3,000 miles between us right now.

Really? you reply. Why’s that?

Because if there weren’t, I’d fuck you six ways from Sunday.

“Holy shit,” you say, staring at the text.

At first, his phrasing throws you off; given that Steve’s experience is limited to the few times the two of you have “practiced”, the fact that he talks like this is wildly out of character. You hadn’t taught him anything about dirty talk yet, despite the fact that it was on your list of things to do. But, on the other hand, that thought does allow you the perfect segue into a facet of sexuality only made possible by the internet.

Steve? you type back. Would you possibly have a laptop with an internet connection near? And some free time?

Yeah.... why?

And you remember how to use video chatting, right?

Yes?

Fantastic. Let's say you and I have a chat in about 20 minutes, okay?

It takes him a moment to reply, possibly because it also takes him a moment to register exactly what you're getting at.

I like the way you think, Y/N. See you then.

And just like that, you're off, quickly setting up your laptop before recreating to the best of your ability the look from the pictures. You found most of the elements and put them on immediately, remembering too late that it's laundry day, and all your cutest panties are being cleaned at the moment. You struggle through your available collection, not finding a single pair that would suffice for this outfit.

"Fuck it," you mutter to yourself, deciding the panties weren't important and probably weren't staying on for long anyway. You reach for a long silk robe, slipping into it before hurrying to your laptop set up.

With two minutes to spare, you make sure your setting is optimal, from the lighting and the positioning of everything, to the vibrator you chose to employ should you feel the need to use it. Everything is in place and ready to go for when Steve invites you to a private video chat session just a minute too early.

"Fuck," he breathes the moment you pop onto the screen.

"You're saying that a lot lately," you giggle.

"Yeah, well, you're getting sexy a lot lately, what else am I supposed to say?"

"Well, the whole 'fucking me six ways from Sunday' thing was pretty good," you laugh. "I won't lie. Definitely got me going."

"I heard Bucky say that once to a girl during the war, so I thought maybe it would work with this..."

He trails off, his cheeks the pinkest you'd ever seen of him. His eyes fall from the screen for a moment as a bashful smile curls his lips.

"Oh, it worked, Stevie," you say, unable to keep from smiling yourself as your heart melted; he's so adorable when he's shy.

But right now isn't the time for shyness.

"So," you begin again, and his eyes focus on you, "this is called cybersex. Do you want me to explain or do you want to just get into it?"

"I think I get the gist," he says, relaxing in his hotel bed. "We're just gonna watch each other, right?"

"And we can talk about what we want the other to do," you say. "Like, if you want me to touch a certain part of myself or something, you just say something like, that's it, grab those tits for me, or you know... something similar."

It's your turn to be bashful, your hand coming up to shield your face as you giggle at your silly suggestion.

"Will you take the lead?" Steve says, his tone unsure as his eyes sparkle with innocence.

"Of course," you answer. "Honestly, you're wearing too many clothes. Let's see you take that t-shirt off, Stevie."

At once, he obeys, peeling his shirt off, and you try to keep from ogling his body. His every muscle undulates as he moves, his sheer strength and size obvious and giving you ideas for future lessons. At the moment, though, you have a part to play.

"Good," you say. "Take off your pants, too."

Again, he obeys; he lays back to take them off, sliding them down his thick thighs and off his body, leaving him in a pair of boxer briefs that just barely accommodate his bulging cock. His hand lands on the straining erection as he gets settled again, closing as well as he can around it and gently pumping.

"What next?" he asks, his enthusiasm bubbling over.

"Well, what do you have there in your hand?"you ask coyly.

He looks down and smiles, his fingers squeezing against his cock.

"I don't know," he replies. "But I think we should find out, don't you?"

"By all means," you chuckle.

He slowly slides his thumbs under the elastic band of his underwear, tugging them down. At first, there's a glance of lush hair, slowly expanding as it's freed from its confines. Next, the shaft of his cock peeks out, the very base of it molded with a vein or two before it bursts free, too. It wobbles, thudding against his lower abs before coming to a throbbing stop. Steve lays there, his long fingers cradling his dick.

"Fuck," you breathe, finding that you'll probably never get used to how big he is. Your heat begs to be speared by it, to be filled and used by it until neither part works anymore.

"Look who's saying that now," Steve chuckles, already stroking his cock.

"Steve, I'm gonna be honest with you," you begin, feeling an absolutely carnal need blossom between your legs, "I seriously can't get over your dick. It's just... I have literally never had one as big as yours. And I think you might've ruined me for any other man."

Steve laughs, a loud joyful noise, as his cheeks redden again.

"Well, I've never had a pussy like yours, doll," he said.

"I'm the only pussy you've ever had," you laugh.

The pair of you forget yourselves for a moment, losing yourselves in the silly absurdity of the situation before coming to your senses again.

"We're getting a little off track," you say, clearing your throat as you stare at the screen.

Steve readjusts, sitting up against the pillows settled on the headboard of his bed, his cock in hand and glowing with enthusiasm.

"What would you do to me if I was there with you, Y/N?" he says, his gorgeous eyes intent on the screen.

"Hmm," you say, you fingers slipping under the hem of your silk robe, slowly pulling it down your shoulders. "I think I'd put you on your knees in front of me." The robe pools onto the bed, revealing your corseted form; Steve's Adam's apple bobs along his neck as he swallows. "Run my fingers through that pretty blonde hair." You move your legs, parting them so Steve has full view of your needy cunt; his eyes drop, widening at the sight. "And push you face-first into me. I wouldn't let you come up for air until you made me come."

"I wouldn't come up for air even if you let me," he says, one hand around his cock and the other cupping his balls. "Fuck, I'd drown in that pretty pussy, doll."

"Is that so?" you ask, your hands slowly making their way along your thighs.

Steve wets his lips, nodding gently.

"Y/N, I've never tasted anything as good as you," he says. "It's the only thing I'll ever need for as long as I live."

"Next time we see each other, you'll have to prove it," you reply.

Your fingertips drag over the fishnet stockings you wear, over the garters that hold them in place until you reach your apex. For a moment, you tease, rubbing the sensitive skin along the crook of your thigh, gently brushing your garden of curls, all the while watching as Steve is hypnotized.

"Touch yourself, baby girl," he orders quietly. "I want to see your fingers inside you."

You smile, slipping a finger into your slick heat, humming with satisfaction as it glides over your clit. Steve sighs as you press that same finger into yourself, slowly pushing in and pulling out, coated with your arousal.

"Another," Steve says, his hand stroking his cock a little faster, and you obey. "That's right, doll. That's fucking right."

You haven't done much and yet, you're nearly ready to burst; it must be Steve's intent gaze, the way you feel under his stare, the way your skin tingles as he observes you.

"Touch that clit, doll," he says after groaning.

His hand speeds up as you press onto your clit, ensuring that Steve has an unobstructed view of it all.

"Fuck yourself, doll," he says, his breathing growing heavier. "I wanna see you come."

You whimper, following Steve's order to a T; you pump your fingers in and out, filling the air with sloppy wet sounds as you circle your clit. Moans pour from your crimson lips as your body writhes under your touch.

"Fuck, doll," he groans, stroking faster still.

The tell-tale twinge of orgasm surfaces, growing headier by the second as you quicken your pace. Your body tenses, squeezing every bit of energy into bringing yourself to climax for Steve, until at long last, you burst.

"Fuck!" you cry, still thrusting your fingers in and out of your pulsing heat.

"Another," you barely hear Steve murmur.

You obey, refusing to stop at all as long as Steve wants to watch. He orders you through another orgasm, and another, and another until he let's you relax.

"Eyes on me, Y/N," he says, and you focus on the screen; Steve squirms under his own efforts, and you swear his cock is growing right before your eyes. "This is for you, doll," he continues, jerking himself harder and harder. "This is what you do to me."

He grunts, a moment passing before he spurts all over himself, his jaw dropping open as thick globs of cum paint his abdomen, going as high up as his shoulders.

"Ah, fuck!" he gasps, milking every last drop from his cock before he relaxes.

"God, Steve you look great like that," you giggle. "Can I screenshot you so I can, you know, use it later?"

Steve smiles, nearly breathless. "As long as I can keep that picture you sent me earlier."

You take the screenshot, quickly putting it into a private file.

"There's a bunch more where that came from, Steve," you giggle.

"Would you, I don't know," he begins, using a towel to clean himself off, "send me more?"

"Gladly," you laugh, happy that at least someone likes the pictures.

Getting up, you look at your vibrator for a moment and decide to keep it around for when you and Steve hang up. You turn your laptop, ensuring that he still has a view of you as you remove your outfit, hopeful that a view of you completely naked will get him going again.

"Do you feel better, Steve?" you ask gently, releasing your fishnets from your garters.

"Actually, ye -"

"Y/N?" you hear someone say and it isn't Steve; you whip around to find Bucky in your doorway, standing stone still with his phone in hand, his eyes creeping along your body as your hands cover your bare vulva.

"Bucky?!" you hear Steve exclaim.

Bucky's eyes widen as he glances at your laptop. "Steve?!"

"Fucking hell," you grumble, reaching for your robe again and covering yourself.

"What's going on here?" Bucky asks, coming further into the room to glance at the screen only to find a naked Steve whipping a pillow over his cock; Bucky seems strangely unfazed. "Were you guys... oh..."

A smile slowly pulls at Bucky's lips as the realization sets in. The joy in his eyes is almost too much to bear, but before you even have a chance to threaten him into a vow of secrecy, he laughs.

"I fucking knew it," he says, pointing at Steve. "I knew you were getting some." He looks at you again. "I just didn't know it was with you."

A fire burns over your cheeks as you press your fingers against your forehead, trying to stave off the tension headache that will certainly come along with having to keep Bucky's mouth shut about this.

“It’s not that big a deal, Buck,” Steve says, quickly pulling his shirt on.

“It is, actually,” Bucky replies. “You finally got laid, Steve!”

Both you and Steve shush him before you dash to the door, closing it for fear of any other passersby.

“Bucky,” you warn, grabbing his shoulder and trying not to think about the fact that you haven’t washed yourself off your hands yet. “We don’t need to say anything about this to anyone, alright?”

Bucky looks confused, glancing between you and Steve. “Who am I gonna tell? I barely talk to anyone here.”

“Sam?” you say pointedly.

“Right,” Bucky relents. “Okay. I promise. I’m not gonna say anything about it to anyone. Not even Sam.”

“Under penalty of death,” you murmur.

“Heard that,” he and Steve say together.

Bucky chuckles, though. “I promise both of you, my two best friends, that I will not say anything about it to anyone.”

“Thank you,” you say, not entirely satisfied.

You think it’s over, and you make to usher Bucky out of your room so you can get changed (getting Steve going again is no longer on the table for you given your new visitor), but Bucky sits down on the edge of your bed next to the laptop.

“Though, I’m gonna need some details. When did this start? Is Steve good? Is Y/N good?”

He continues listing off questions, but all you can think is why do my friends always want details?

Part 4

#steve rogers #steve rogers smut #steve rogers fanfiction #chris evans #chris evans fanfiction #chris evans smut #avengers #marvel #captain america #captain america fanfiction #captain america smut

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black-coffee-and-sugar · 3 years

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Azie killed it!!!

me praising a supergirl episode? i know, shocking. but 6x12 just came for me where i live! i knew it was going to be great but it surpassed my expectations. sister are really doing it for themselves! so many things to point out that were phenomenal but here’s what comes to mind rn:

- the camera work while kelly’s all distressed at the hospital, lil joey struggling to breathe, orlando looking so helpless > i was already stressed within 5 mins

- rankin literally saying “i’ll do everything i can to help these people” while rolling away to her private hospital room with access to trial medication when the residents of the heights probably don’t even have insurance or money to pay the bills. also rankin literally sucking the life out of this disadvantaged community, building wealth and pushing her political agenda on the backs of black people is the most realistic portrayal of true villainy that this show has ever given us

- kelly’s phone call to james in the stairwell, talking about how exhausting it is was so personal to me. i work in these types of communities all the time and it’s a hard fight. i get emotionally tired too. it does feel like screaming into the void, like one step forward and ten steps back. and i felt this for kelly.

- alex’s solution is to send respirators and nothing else? just makes me realize that while the super friends were protecting mxy and trying to capture nxyly, they were pretty much neglecting the heights. people who were literally dying and it’s horrifying to think of where their priorities lie. especially considering the fact that they could have handled the nxyly issue without alex so she can support her gf

- writer 1: how do we make the audience hate rankin some more?

writer 2: have her kill a guy for a sandwich on white bread. it’ll make her look like even more of an asshole

but seriously, what kind of psychopathic shit was that?

- andrea has always been portrayed a shameless capitalist who only cares about grabbing eyeballs but it has never been highlighted as negatively as it was in this episode in that phone call with kelly

- i think kelly reaching out to lena who isn’t even in national city really speaks to her desperation to have someone see her. someone hear her. someone fucking help and i’m glad she had at least diggle’s support

- that slim stack of bills is all it took for that woman to sell her soul to rankin? bruh...

- the super friends showing up to the heights, only concerned with tracking nxyly, not giving any amount of fucks about what kelly is trying to say enraged me. i know that was the point of the episode but STILL

- kara telling kelly that mxy can fix all this once they get him out of the crystal. what are you five? give me a goddamn break with this foolishness kara! so lil joey’s lungs are just supposed to hang on til whenever the fuck y’all save mxy? lena, please come and collect your wife

- kelly looking directly at kara when she mentions the word hope while dragging the super friends for their nonchalant behaviour > oof, a slap to the face

- i see nia had the one brain cell this week. she’s the only one who attempted to help kelly in whatever way she could.

- brainy really said racism is still a problem in the 31st century and it did not surprise me.

- seems like having tunnel vision is a danvers sisters trait. i get alex not being able to relate to kelly’s struggle but come on she’s your girlfriend. can’t you tell when she’s upset?

- i’m glad that they addressed j’onn choosing the appearance of a black man and how even though he may have been a target because of it, he still can’t relate fully to the experiences like kelly, james and diggle can. it’s optional for him. they don’t have that luxury to check out whenever it suits them

- kara talking about the anti-alien hate with the col and i would like to remind kara that she genuinely thought things were improving and that the division didn’t exist despite j’onn and brainy repeatedly telling her otherwise. because, once again, her physical appearance affords her privilege that no black person or visible alien will ever receive

- every kelly scene was so emotional i was bawling wtf. her talking about pushing her pain and anger down and trying to be positive and all smiles > 100% accurate

- i can’t believe i’m saying this but i did not need the lena scenes. they should’ve just kept those out. on the other note, magical amazon package delivery

- guardian’s suit is so fucking badass!!! i’m glad little black girls will feel SEEN and INSPIRED in this episode. thank you azie

- kara was really out there getting her ass kicked by a human who just got powers for a few hours? stop nerfing her abilities!

- the way we got an actual scene of kelly carefully wrapping her hair, the say her name t shirt, the books on the coffee table > well done azie

- alex and kelly in the final scene was a good portrayal of an interracial relationship where one partner wants to but just will never understand the issue fully. alex just needs to be there for kelly and i’m glad that they didn’t make it a moment to educate her white gf about racial discrimination. they kept the focus where it needed to be. i’m also glad that unlike the other soical justice topics we’ve had, they didn’t try to make it seem like something that is so engrained into the fabric of society can be wrapped up with a neat little bow and be done with. there’s more fighting to do but at least it seems like kelly will have the support going forward

- the promo after such a powerful episode gave me whiplash. back to our regularly scheduled nonsense i guess

This episode holy shit. man it was amazing. azie is a talented writer and it’s easy to tell that she was drawing inspiration from real and personal experiences. it was very easy for me to relate to these scenes, especially the hospital ones. also makes me annoyed because they’ve been wasting all this potential and this episode is proof that the show and it’s storylines can be nuanced and still include superhero aspects. too bad this episode will likely become one of few in this show’s entire run that actually accomplishes that.

#supergirl #kelly olsen #john diggle #dansen #supercorp

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jxmieoleksiaks · 3 years

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Paradise -> Mat Barzal

This is for @antoineroussel ‘s summer fic exchange! I had the lovely, and awesome @texanstarslove I was so excited when I found out I had you, but wanted to wait until the season ended, though I know just like me, you didn’t need a repeat of last year. I think your writing is amazing, and I’ll never forget you randomly boosted me, and I’ve gained a lot of followers since then. I really hope you enjoy. I’m also so sorry this took so long 💚

Word Count: 2,390 Smut: Mentions Language: Yes

It was like deja vu. The team had lost again, to the same team, in the same round, for the second year in a row. This time though, it stung a little more, as their were fans, and they were in Tampa. It didn’t help the players were making fun of the guys getting a little emotional. You were too, and not only because you were heartbroken about the loss, it was your boyfriend Mat. He worked his butt off all season, and off season to stay in shape, and be best for his team. You knew he would get emotional, and he did, the first night after the loss, being the toughest. He was proud of him and his teammates, and vowed to make sure this didn’t happen again.

Mat was one of the toughest guys you knew. From the random night you met him at the bar, to when he had the two black eyes in last years playoffs, literally nothing stopped him. The idea of love never existed in your mind. Seeing your parents loveless marriage and hoping one day they would divorce and you could live with your mother, made you think that actual love never existed. But with Mat it was easy, you two could have nights out, and nights in and have the same amount of fun, you could see a future with him, but you were not in any rush for major things to happen.

It was now July, and you two had decided to take a vacation, a much needed one in fact. With last years bubble, and this years crazy season, he needed a vacation just as much as you did, someone who worked 40 hours a week, and also had to log in some on the weekend.

“Okay, where should we go?” You asked Mat, who was reclined at the end of the couch, while your legs were across his waist, laying on the couch, with your laptop sitting on you with vacation websites on.

“Somewhere warm?” He questioned, as he was watching the NBA finals.

‘That narrows it down a bit.” You laughed.

“You know what I mean!” He laughed back. “No where that’s like, not beach like, does that help?” He asked, taking a drink of the beer he was drinking.

“Yes, thanks.” You shook your head and started to google places you two could go.

As much as you loved Disney, and wanted to go there, you two needed some private time, and that was not the place for it. You looked a couple more places, and gasped at the website you were on.

“Look at this!” You exclaimed and sat up.

He looked to his left and noticed a vacation website for a resort in the Maldives. There were resorts. and private villa’s, and as you saw on your many hours of Tik Tok scrolling, it was pretty affordable.

“Oh that looks really cool.” He nodded, grabbing the MacBook from you to look around.

“It’s perfect, I heard it’s pretty adorable too.”

“Babe, that shouldn’t be the deciding factor, I can afford to take you to somewhere you really wanna go.” He said seriously. You did appreciate that about him, but in the back of your mind, you didn’t want people to think you were using him for his money, which was not the case whatsoever. You loved him for him, and you were just someone who worked and cheered on your boyfriend.

“Yeah, but I wanna go here!” You smiled. “Let me and a cool resort, and then we can think about booking it.” You smiled as you got off the couch quickly to grab a glass of wine, loving the fact you were about to book a romantic and fun vacation.

The trip was booked about three hours later, and in two weeks you would be heading to an island paradise. You never flew across the ocean before, so that part. made you nervous, but you couldn’t be more excited to finally get some peace and quiet with Mat.

You and Mat were now sitting at the gate in JFK, getting ready to catch the first flight, which landed in Dubai. You had an iced latte in your hand, which made the nerves you were having a little bit worse. Along with never flying across the ocean, you’ve never had a 19 hour flight before, and that was nerve-racking to you.

“Babe, are you okay?” He asked you, sounding concerned.

“Yeah, I think it’s the flight that makes me nervous.” You said, before taking a sip of the coffee.

“It’s gonna be alright, I promise, plus we have first class, and that should make things a little more comfortable. If you feel uneasy, just lean on me.” He placed a kiss on the top of your head, making your mind ease, and heart feel warm with love.

Movies, laughs, and naps made the flight, and it’s connecting in Dubai, made it so much easier to do, and now you two were on a boat with other couples, and three families to make their way to the resort. When the two of you checked in, and headed to your bungalow, you felt like you could cry. The water was a type of blue you had only seen in movies. The sky, was something out of a book, that you could imagine with your eyes closed. It was perfect.

“Holy shit, you gotta see this patio!” Mat said as he was walking around the place you were staying the next week. You walked outside and saw a private deck, with some chairs, but also a swing. You just imagined watching the sunset with the both of you on the swing.

“I don’t know how I was able to find this place and pull it off so easy. This is a literal Oasis.” You said, your eyes almost bulging out of your head with how beautiful it was.

“Ah, well, the view is almost as beautiful as you.” He grinned.

“Mat, nothing is as beautiful as this view, shh.” You laughed and rolled your eyes, but you knew he meant those words.

You never purposely pushed his complements down, it’s just who you were. You never really got complements before meeting him, so it was kind of..a reaction. The first time he compared you to the beautiful full moon, one April night, you almost cried with laughter. You thought he was quoting a movie or something, but you could tell he really meant it. He knows that you’re going to shove them off, knowing that something that happens in nature, and in space is something amazing, but he really thought you hung the moon.

There was a little cafe in the main part of the resort, away from all the bungalows. You could get your morning cup of coffee, while eating breakfast and looking out at the views, and people watch too. It was the middle day of your trip, and you were already dreading of leaving, but didn’t want to think about that just yet. You two were going to do your own things today, he wanted to golf, and you wanted to check out the resort spa. You had gotten up before he did, and went over to the cafe, leaving him a note, since he didn’t wake up for anything, and kisses his forehead.

“Why didn’t you wake me?” Mat questioned, as he sat down with a cup of coffee, already dressed for a day out on the green.

“I tried…You don’t wake up for shit!” You laughed. “If we were home, and the dog went missing, I would scream, you would snore.” A giggle left your mouth as he rolled his eyes, he knew it was true, and so did you.

“When we finish up, we can change and go out to the bar, that’s over the water.” He said, taking a sip of coffee.

Your heart about fluttered, the views from the bar looked amazing, the bar after dark, over the ocean, thought you could do that in your bungalow, something about drinks around other people, and being so close to Mat, excited you to no end.

You and Mat planned on going to the bar when he cleaned up from his day of golf, but a nap called the both of you, and you two didn’t get there until after the sunset. You were a little bummed, until you saw the bar, and it’s area surrounded in hanging lights,

“Wow.” You sighed, after the waiter took the drink orders. “How does this place keep getting better…” You said, unable to believe you were here.

“I hope these drinks are good.” He chuckled, throwing your own feelings back to you.

“Oh, so now I get the shoved response?” You playfully rolled your eyes, before looking at the ocean in front of you.

The tequila sunrises and Screw Drivers the two of you were drinking, were really making you two feel really good. You don’t remember when you decided to sit on Mat’s lap, but he was pretty comfortable, and was keeping a good grip on you.

“You know, you could stick your hand up my dress and no one would know.” You giggled, before taking the last sip of your tequila sunrise.

“There’s no one around?” He looked around.

“I..don’t think so, it’s dark, there could be people around us, but that’s more fun.” The alcohol was running through you,

“As much as I love that idea, and how I would love for you to just ride me, I think it would be better to do this in the room, no?” He asked, his lips against your neck.

You never had the idea of something pubic, but he was right, your private space was made for the adventures you two had in bed, and though you two were having a lot of fun doing that already, you always had time for more, and agreed.

“Let’s go back.” You whispered before you hopped off his lap.

He paid the bill and left a decent tip for the waiter, he did hear the both of you slightly slur and probably thought you two were up to something when you hopped on his lap. You grabbed Mat’s hand and headed back to the bungalow.

You were first into where you were staying, and he quickly picked you up after you set your bag down on the table. You giggled as he placed you on the bed and hovered over you.

“I don’t know how you do it, you just look so damn beautiful.” He whispered before he quickly pressed his lips onto yours. You wrapped your arms around him as he kissed you deeply, you two may have been a little tipsy, but you could feel the love in every kiss, and every movement after.

You two probably would have woke neighbors if you had any. The way Mat made you feel was something no on else had been able to do. With the couple of years you two had been together, he knew where to touch you, how to do it, and what to do, to make you come undone in a matter of moments. A lot of people would say men don’t care that their woman didn’t cum, but he did, and he made sure you did every time.

You let out a load moan, and released as Mat groaned. After a moment of staying connected, he pulled out, and after you ran to the bathroom, you two were now laying in bed, bare and the moon shining into your room.

“This trip has been perfect so far.” You sighed quietly, as you set your head on his chest.

“You did good babe, I have to admit it.” He chuckled as he played with your hair.

“Is it bad I had no idea where this place was until I had to google it?” You asked, not being the best with geography, but honestly not knowing where it was.

“You really think I knew where this place is, babe….” He said, knowing he wasn’t that great with geography either.

“Fuck what happens if we get on the wrong flight or something?!” You asked.

“Siri will help us, because we can’t help our way around a map. I’m not the leader in any of these hockey trips for a reason.” He shook his head, and you covered your face trying not to laugh so hard.

“Listen, I know the last couple of seasons didn’t go as planned, but I don’t know if I could be more proud of you, you just…work so hard, and I see it, and I hope others do too. If you go to the Olympics, and they let family in, I’m screaming my ass off for team Canada.” You said, meaning every single word.

“I like heading that from the guys, but babe, you know it means so much coming from you.” He said. “And trust me, if I even make the Olympic team, I’d love to have you there. You’d be screaming the loudest, and probably freak out some of the others, and I want nothing more than that.” He started to laugh more.

Even with your normal type job, you wanted to be there for him as much as you could. You had even worked remotely to support him in the playoffs, and knowing he would do the same for you if he had the chance meant so much. You knew he was the one, even though you two were a little busy to think about the M word, you knew, when you both were ready, you would be the one, that he would ask, you, and you would say yes.

“Babe?” He asked you.

“What’s up?” You were a little nervous, he sounded a little unsure of himself.

“You’re gonna plan our next vacation when we get back, right? You’ve done great with this one, and now I need you to plan everything.”

You hid your face in his chest, and started laughing again.

“I love you.” You told him.

“I love you too babe, he kissed the top of your head, something you always wanted him to do, and it brought you comfort, the feeling that you had right at this moment.

#summer fic exchange #mat barzal #mat barzal flc #my writing #New York Islanders #the gif in the post is mine pls do not steal

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rec-review8890 · 2 years

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A Veil of Gods and Kings - Book Review

Title: A Veil of Gods and Kings

Author: Nicole Bailey

Online Rating: 4.04/5

Personal Rating: 4/5

Warning(s): Greek Mythology, M/M, and (mild) Sexual Content.

Pages: 347

Summary: A god fighting his fate. A prince burdened with secrets. And a romance that could end in flames. Apollo is a deity… almost. Half mortal and refusing to take his position as god of the sun, he spends his nights drowning out haunting memories and his days avoiding responsibilities. Until his father forces him into an ultimatum: Ascend immediately. Or spend the year mentoring under the obnoxious Prince Hyacinth. Forced together, Apollo and Hyacinth grapple with their mutual disdain for each other. But what starts as a kindling of irritation begins to burn into something new. A spark that, if it turns to flame, could incinerate everything they’ve always protected. A reimagining of the Greek myth of Apollo and Prince Hyacinth, this NA, enemies-to-lovers fantasy series is a whirlwind journey full of romance, intrigue, and enthralling characters.

Review: Truthfully, I’ve read a few books and have read the true myths of the Greek gods a lot over the years, and this is the first time I’ve ever read about Apollo in this type of way. Granted, all those books were when he’s already a god, but that also makes me nervous about the second book since I know how their story goes. In case you haven’t read any other books with Apollo in it, he’s ALWAYS the asshole and basically a sex addict. In this book, still kinda a sex addict, but only for sex from a certain pretty prince! ;) The reason I’m scared is because this is before Apollo becomes a god, so this is basically the match lit before the fire. I’m worried about what’s going to happen in the next installment, and the author may address theses things. Speaking about addressing… The author put in the beginning of the book a discretion warning for “sexual assault” and “sexual contact” but none of that happened in the book. The sex was basically glossed over or “faded into black” as I saw some reviewer phrase it. I don’t know if its more for what’s going to happen in the second book, which I hope doesn’t happen of course (the s/a), but I don’t understand the point of her false warning. Anyway, this is the positive part, so I should be more positive… I loved their slow burn retelling, and it wasn’t a un-plotted slow burn. There’s was always something going on, and some sort of pining between the two (except in the very beginning). I loved reading their tail, and also can’t wait for the next one. Kinda a cliff hanger in the end, but not to bad to the point I want to jump off a cliff because I can’t wait LOL Now, can I just say… WOW to the ending! If you came here after reading the book, then you know how I feel right now. The slightest of information at the end made my JAW DROP! Out of all things for the author to hit me with, I was not expecting Tami (Apollos sister) to be the one to shock me. I was always wondering why I couldn’t find a person named “Tami” as Apollos sisters online, or anywhere in the true tails about her. And now I know, and holy shit I’m excited to read more!

Negatives: Let me be the first (not actually) to say I didn’t like that there was sections about Epiphany (Hyacinth’s sister) POV. Don’t get me wrong, I liked her side story, but it was more fit to be in its own separate book then in this one. When I read a book about a pairing, and it has split chapters, I only want to read about the pairing. Not about one of the pairing’s sisters. Instead of giving her own chapters the author could have written a third installment in Epiphany’s POV for the people curious about it. I liked her story, but would have preferred not to read it. I sorta addressed this before, the gloss over for the sex scenes, and it honestly frustrated me. Not because I read it just for the sex, but because it wasn’t just these scenes I felt the author glossed over. When a chapter ended, that was the end of the day, basically. It’s like the author couldn't think of anything else important that could have been put into a scene or discussed between the people in that chapter. I wished for far more detail but instead didn’t get much. Also, after they got together, the plot lessened a little bit and I don’t know if that was for more build-up for their relationship or because the author didn’t know what else to write about. Honestly, if she stretched out sex scenes in it, I wouldn’t have cared because at least there was more spice to this “spicy novel.” LOL

Ending Notes: (08/15/22) - I didn’t know this originally, but this a four part series. I said “second installment” a couple of times in this review, and suggested a third installment too, but there’s actually four books overall. The other two are coming out this year, too. I believe the third is coming out at the end of this month, and the fourth in September. I just bought he second book, so that review is coming soon!

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|| Account Directory || Book 2 Review || Book 3 Review ||

#A veil of gods and kings #book review #Tumblr #a veil of gods and kings book review #a veil of gods and kings review #romance book #book 1 #book 1 of 4 #book series #Greek mythology #Nicole Bailey #apollo x hyacinthus #apollo #m/m #enemies to lovers #m/m book

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wh0re-4-techno · 3 years

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12. Lipstick ((PROFESSOR TECHNO))

Description: After a quick makeout session in his office before class started leads to someone finding out about the two of you. Now, will your friend keep it a secret or not? Should you tell Techno?

Warning(s): Nothing too much, just making out and you sitting on his lap.

Words: 4110

Last part :: Next Part

Kissing him was like you were in a fire, you felt hot and tingly whenever his lips connected with yours. Slowly growing into a flame you couldn't resist

Your hands twist and tangle themselves in his hair carelessly. And before you know it he has you in his arms carrying you to one of the side sofas he has, letting himself sit down as you placed rather nicely on his lap.

You continue kissing him, his hands playfully wander down your body. His fingertips pressing against your skin as he starts lifting up your shirt.

Breaking off the kiss, your lips softly kiss his cheek. Going down towards his jaw and down his neck. Not hard enough to cause hickeys, but enough for him to breathe heavily to steady himself. Going slightly more down, a tad of your lipstick gets on his white collar. You didn't worry too much about it, in fact, it slipped completely out of your mind once it happened. To focus on the flame growing inside of you.

Techno didn't care to take notice, just you on his lap and kissing him up and down was enough to make the world disappear.

But then it came to him, lifting his arm up to see his wrist and looking down at his watch. "Fuck." He mumbles quietly, which you didn't think too much of as other than he was enjoying your touch. As his hand stops and slowly pulls you away you realize, what time is it? The look on his face was the answer to what you were asking.

"Class started a few minutes ago." He grunts, clearly an annoyed man. You quickly kiss him to calm him down, then getting off his lap and sit beside him on his sofa. His hands straightening his white button-down and stark black vest that matched perfectly with the slacks to his loafers.

You watch him try to fix his hair into the right places and without a mirror, it was obviously not looking so good.

Standing up from the couch you take a step in front of him, he slowly stops doing what he was doing. Looking up at you with admirment. Your hands reach to his hair, fixing it from your own work. As you do so he places his arms around your waist and pulls you closer. You softly giggle at his actions but continue to fix his messy hair.

He watches silently as you finish doing his hair, you were his. "We should just stay here, I could cancel a class you know." He lifts himself up, now it was you looking up at him with admirment He wiggles his eyebrows with a goofy smile as he truly thinks of that as an option that he doesn't teach today. "You and I both know I would love to stay here and continue what we were doing but, no. No, you should have class." You breathe out, pulling back down your sweater. He nods in response, realizing that might not be the best thing to do. "And I like hearing you talk about ancient history. You look rather handsome when you do so." The smallest hint of blush flashes on his cheeks as you compliment him. He smiles at you, "Good to know that Y/l/n." He winks down at you, you start walking toward the door where your bag was laying.

Turning back as you grab your book bag, you spot something on his lips. "You have a little bit of lipstick." You point out with your own lips, gesturing that he had it. It was slightly smudged and mute color from your own. His thumb comes to his lips and starts swipping away the residue, getting rid of the evidence you were with him.

And while you're at it you finally spot the kiss mark on his collar, you also point out that. Which he tries to remove but it inevitably smudges even more into the white-collar. "Hopefully no one will notice this." He somewhat awkwardly says while bending over behind his desk.

"So, how do you want to do this?" He questions while grabbing his own bag for class, which was a brown leather side bag almost like a briefcase, which was behind his desk. "What?" It took a few seconds for you to realize what he meant. "Do you want to go to class first or me?" He elaborates his question. "I could walk in first." You contemplate that was the best option for the two of you, not wanting anyone to suspect either of you.

He grabs a coffee cup that was on his desk, he didn't look like the person who would drink coffee he was more of a tea drinker. "You go in first, I'll come in a few minutes with this coffee cup and pretend I was late." He walks up to you, both of you looking at each other. "Sounds like a plan Mr. Blade." You smile up at him, he smiles down at you. Sounds like a good damn plan.

Hand on the door, you lookout to see if anyone was also late to class or would spot you. Seeing as no one was in the hallway you were in the clear. Walking out in a rush, acting like you were late to class as well.

Opening the main doors to the lecture class, you step in fast. With a fast pace, you reach your seat in no time.

The three boys you'd come fond of are already sitting in the same row as you would normally, waiting for you to come in and chit-chat. All had a smile waiting for you too, quick greetings from them all. "How's your morning going so far for you?" Toby asks, he sat in-between Wilbur and Tommy, where Wilbur sat right next to you.

"So far good, just a few minutes late to class." You tell him, reaching down in your book bag for your class notebook ready to take notes of the presentation today. "Well that's good, Tommy didn't want to get out of bed this morning, I had to physically drag him out." Toby chuckles at the remembrance of this morning, where Tommy just scoffs at it. "Never have him as a roommate," Toby confesses to you and a little to Wilbur as well.

The two of you laugh at Toby's expression. "Wait, Wilbur who's your roommate? You've never told me." You turn to Wilbur, he softly chuckled at your question. Toby and Tommy now look at Wilbur too, you soon learn that they also don't know who is Wilbur's roommate. "Why do you want to know?" He asks, looking at the three of you. "What if we go to your dorm to hang out and your roommate is there and we don't even know how name?" Tommy speaks up for the rest of you and Toby. But it wasn't a bad argument.

Wilbur sighs at you all, admitting his failure to avoid the answer. Muttering a "Fine." before telling you, "His named Sam, I haven't really gotten to know him that much. But he seems really nice so far." He says while communist hair with his fingers, but before you can speak more to the subject Techno slams open the door in a huff.

"Sorry, I'm late class! Needed something to get me through the day." He lifts up his coffee cup in hand, gesturing to the class. Which a couple of students, including you, chuckle at him.

Techno, already knowing where you normally sat looks over to you, just a quick glance. But seeing as those boys were already sitting next to you, he looked away and back to his desk.

-----

It was already 20 minutes into the presentation on Archaeology and Tommy is already "super bored" in his own words. You sit silently, listening to every word that comes out of Techno's mouth. Writing down some simple notes of the subject ever so often.

While Toby was dealing with Tommy's annoyance, Wilbur also takes notes but would look over at you.

He would steal glances, seeing what you wore or what make out you wore for the day. Today was a soft red. But what caused him to also look at you was how to stared at the Professor.

Everyone does it to look like they were listening to him, but you did more than listen. You and he knew that at this point. Wilbur must have thought this was a simple and careless crush on a teacher as most people have had that thought about a teacher before in their life. But as he continues to see how you react when he was near and how you slightly changed. He thought maybe you were trying to impress the Professor, trying to act on the crush you might have had.

That when he spotted it.

His eyes broaden as comprehends the thoughts. It couldn't be, it shouldn't be. There was no way he could be correct about the allegations that were filling through his mind, mere seconds. Slightly parting his lips as he continued to go back and forth it started to connect, all the time you went to his office for getting help with assignments or any other excuse you came up with.

He looked back to you and to Mr. Blade. No fucken way, he thought to himself.

Now with that red lipstick smudged on his color bone, from where you seat it was clear that he at least tried to get rid of it, but it still was bright compared to his white button-down. It matching the same color on your lips.

It felt as the world was going in slow motion, turning himself towards you. Concern forming on Wilbur's face by the seconds, he leaned in slowly, still looking at his Professor. Wishing what he was about to ask you was ridiculous and would never become true. So slowly that you didn't even notice till his head was right next to yours. Slightly jumping in your seat, "Holy shit, you scared me, Wilbur." You whispered yell at him, your hand pressed firmly on your chest. At least it broke your hyper fixation on your professor. "Oh, I scared you?" He huffed out an airy chuckle, which confused you of what he meant by that context. For some reason beyond your control, he was acting strange. Turning your head ever so slightly to look at him. A questionable face was clear to him, "You and the Professor?" He simply says, once of the words flying from his lips he regrets saying it altogether. These allegations he found in his mind were clearly not true, was it?

Your eyes shoot open.

How. Does. He. Know.

Turning fully toward him, "What?" You say angrily, that was a good sign to see from Wilbur's point of view. Of course, you would get mad or upset by his allegations. "Excuse me? I think I misheard you?" How the hell does he know? How the hell did he find out? There was no possible way he could figure this out, but somehow we did and now he was asking questions.

"You and the Professor, correct me if I'm wrong. Which I hope I am because you know... Isn't that like a huge issue?" He still implies that you and the professor are together, but you sit there in shock. Words weren't forming to correct nor deny him. Still confused at his conclusion.

He places a hand on your arm, "I promise you that I won't tell anyone if it's true." You breathe out scared, "But I do think it's a little funny- Wait! Where you the one that left that jacket on the floor in his office?" He questions quite loudly, pulling Tommy and Toby out of their conversation. Giving Wilbur the death glare to shut the fuck up before you punch him right where he sits. He hunches his back up as he cringes at how loud he got and your expression. "Sorry. But was it?" He raised his eyebrow in a question still. "How the hell do you remember that, that happened like a few weeks ago." You finally give him an answer, which he looks down at his lap, it was true.

"Holy shit, you're actually sleeping with your Professor." He slowly whispers down, conflicted on what he just found out, which happened to be true compare to him think it was fake."Will you shut up Wilbur. I don't want anyone to find out." You slap his shoulder. Even hearing him whisper it was loud enough for you to hear for another human, it was embarrassing enough to hear it from a friend.

At this point, Techno is glancing at the whole interaction going on between the two of you.

"How did you find out?" You look away from Wilbur, you were still somewhat scared that he knows your affair with your Professor. Swallowing harshly as you turn back to Techno. Who is still presenting to his class, but kept his eyes on you? You give him a fake reassuring smile that he can see right through, hoping that he does suspect anything. "I saw the lipstick on his collar, you two should be more careful." He breathes out, he was shocked by the revelation. You close your eyes, how could he spot that minor inconvenience. You mentally curse at yourself. "Fuck." You place your hand on your face, fuck fuck fuck fuck.

You felt like crying at this moment, how could you not cry right now. Scared shitless at your secret coming out, shaking in your seat. Gripping tighter on your pencil as you come to terms that Wilbur knows your hidden unofficial affair.

Wilbur watches you in such dismay, "I swear I won't tell anyone Y/n." He awkwardly places his hand on your arm, trying to calm your state of mind and somewhat of his too. Breathing slowly as you were gently coming from the realization of the intensity of your relationship between you and the Professor.

"So how long have you to been together?" He asks politely, not in a rude not mean way, the way you thought he was going to ask in disgust. But he was genuinely asking like it was a huge difference between the two of you. "I rather not talk about that now." You say quietly, "Not here." Wilbur nods, knowing it was probably not the best to talk about his out loud.

The tension in the air was thick enough to cut through, it felt so different between the two of you now. It was just a regular secret the two of you could laugh about, this was way more serious and now he could get in trouble because he knows about the two of you.

It was going to be impossible.

He rubbed his hand on your arm, drawing your attention towards him. "Y/n do you consider you and me friends?" He questions, you didn't really know where he was going with this conversation but you followed him anyway. "Yes, would you?" You follow him up with the same question. "Yes, and friends tell each other secret now and then. Friends don't tell other people their secrets. And being your friend Y/n, there are no worries that I will do that. I won't tell anyone about this." He confines with you, which really puts you at ease from the situation. Glad that it was Wilbur to figure it out rather than Toby or Tommy, knowing that they couldn't hold a secret at best.

"Pinky promise me you won't tell anyone." You stick out your hand, a raised pinky waiting. "Picky promise, really?" He blinks at the thought of this elementary way of holding secrets. "Please?" You look at him, with pleading eyes for him to do so, which he does.

Your other hand that held your pencil reaches for his. Patting his hand, "Thank you, Wilbur, really." You tell him. Truly you were glad that you had Wilbur as a friend.

-----

After the lecture finishes Techno speaks, "Alright students. I know that we start Thanksgiving break on Thursday, please be safe if your traveling in or out of state." He looks out at the class, with a smile on his face. Ready to tell them, "No assignment over break either." Which most of the students audible thanked him for the no work as others silently thanked him. Then there was Tommy who stood from his seat and whood out that he didn't give us homework.

The class laughing at his antics, which seemed to put a smile on his face, full of pride.

Then Techno's phone started to buzz, signaling that it was time that class ended and was time to kick everyone out beside you. "Go have fun on break and please don't do anything stupid!" Everyone starts walking out, "Especially you Tommy." He calls him out as he passes the Professor, putting his hand to his chest acting as he was deeply hurt by his words. Which Techno laughs at.

You walk with Wilbur slowly starting to stop, he looks at you. "Text me later, okay?" He asks nicely. You nod, "Okay." He continues to walk out with another look over at the two of you.

Standing next to Techno and waiting for the clear.

And once it was he went behind his desk, sitting in his chair. You let go of your book bag and place it in front of his desk. Walking closer towards him, "Now, where were we?" He speaks seriously and somewhat sexy. You giggle softly, a little confused about what he meant, but soon to realize what exactly he meant.

His hands-on his lap, patting for you to come to sit on his lap once again.

You strut beside his desk, which he turns his chair to face you. Following his comment you go and sit on his lap, slowly throwing each one of your legs side highs, softly sitting on top of his pants. Face to face. Leaning in ever so much for him to follow-up, lips connecting with ease. It felt as the flame came back to passion the kiss, but you really didn't want to get that heated right at this moment. It hurt to break it off with him, almost painful for the both of you. Techno could tell something was off and you weren't exactly in the mood.

"I have to tell you something Techno." You pull out of the kiss, resting your head onto his. "What is it darling?" He questions, where you actually going to tell him that Wilbur knows about this relationship, what would happen? Could you even face up to it and tell him? There was not a way to could...

Taking a deep breath, "What are you doing for Thanksgiving?" You pass in the opportunity to tell Techno about Wilbur, you didn't have the courage to. "That's more of an ask than tell." Techno chuckles at his own response, still clueless on your own thoughts which were eating you from the inside out. It was inevitable that it would come out actually, but not today.

"I know, just my words getting mixed up." You slightly shake your head, trying your hardest to get those thoughts of everyone to know that you're sleeping with the Professor. You lift your head up and look at him directly. "I'm going to have my father over at my house, that about it. Why do you ask?" He tells you honestly, but still questions as to why you ask. But as he continues to think upon it becomes clear to him. "No particular reason." You somewhat lie to him, it wasn't obvious, or hope it wasn't obvious to him.

He smirks as he thinks he knows why you ask, "Do you want to have Thanksgiving with me? Is that what you're asking me?" He presses on the question, watching how you react to his bluntness.

Your lips parted, "Techno, I-" You struggle to get your words out. Of course, you thought of having Thanksgiving with him. The thought of you and him in his kitchen cooking and baking, finally meeting his dad, which he talks very highly about. Sure you've seen photos of him and his dad together but that was pretty much it in his family just the two of them. Maybe you wanted to know where he gets his traits from or maybe meet his dad was a way to make it official with the two of you.

"I shouldn't have put you in that spot. You probably have plans don't you." Techno knows what did, he really shouldn't have put you there. Feeling sorry that he has, he kisses your cheek.

Leaning in for another kiss on your cheek you pull him into your lips. Softly sighing in contempt. "I do have plans with my friends. I'm sorry." Breaking it off once again. "There is no reason for you to say sorry to me." He smiles at you, "Maybe next Thanksgiving." You smile at him brightly. He has this way to lighten the conversation so easily, you wished you could do that.

Laying your head on his shoulder, "Next Thanksgiving it is then." He says while his hands go up to your back, gently and slowly rubbing you up and down, it was very calming. Just the both of you in each other touch and comfort.

"By the way, I have your bra that I left on my desk. Here." He says quietly as to be careful not to ruin the moment, he leans to the side and pulls out a drawer of his desk, the very bottom one. And there it was, laying on a couple of papers was your bra, you felt your face getting hot from embarrassment. Bearing your head into a shoulder, how could you forget that? Mentally cursing at yourself.

He knows that you were embarrassed by that, his other hand pulling your face from his shoulder to look at him. Your face was flushed with pinks and reds. "Nothing to be embarrassed by darling, I just want you to have it before the break." You thanked him and took a hold of your bra.

"Now I don't want to keep you for too long, I'm sure you have lunch with Minx." He's correct, you did in fact have another lunch date with Minx on the grass field to talk about the break. And knowing Techno, he didn't want to purposely take you away from that. "Go on, I got last assignments to grade anyways." He reassurance you that you could and most likely should leave him.

Kissing him one last time, you get off of his lap. "I'll talk to you later Techno." You grab a hold of your bookbag, ready to leave. "You better Y/l/n." He winks at you, smiling at him you walk out.

-----

As you sit down, criss-cross in the same checker plaid picnic blanket as you always do when eating or hanging out at the grass field.

Minx hands you a brownie, that was the snack she packed for today's lunch. It was the famous cosmic brownies by Little Debbie.

"So I a huge announcement to tell you, super important for the Thanksgiving break." She throws up her hands in excitement, the excitement from the anticipation from telling you. You take a bite of the brownie while nodding your head, eager for her to tell you as well.

She grabs your free hand that rested on your thigh, taking it in her hand. Her eyes filled with joy. "We're going to New York!" She shakes your hand, you continue to chew through the brownies before speaking.

"New York, huh." You sit a little puzzled as it wasn't a huge thing like Disneyland, but you can see the excitement around it. But you nor Minx has ever expressed the arousal for New York so you were a little confused as to why she choose that. "Schlatt used to live there for a little while so he knows the perfect spots. He also says it would be fun for us all!" Minx smiles at you, letting her word sit in for another few seconds, realizing what she said.

"Who's all of us?" You question her.

Taglist:

@roygbivvie @alexandrium @aplainart @sadassflatass @sugarcoated44 @taylorsmakingfuckingmacandcheese @sammyxn @bbnoloves @l-O-ser @elly-isabelle @fudrudy

#mcyt #mcyt fic #mcyt fanfiction #technoblade #technoblade x reader #techno #techno x reader #professor #professor technoblade x reader #x reader

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thedisguisedaltruism · 3 years

Text

fond stares, vast place, loud heartbeats

genre: fluff, best friends to lovers, concert au

pairing: wonwoo/gn reader

summary: wonwoo hates the crowds, but he has to save up all his energy since you’re taking him as your concert buddy for taylor swift’s 1989 tour. little did he know, he will soon realize that he was actually in love with you, thanks to taylor and her wicked songwriting.

word count: 2,192

a/n: dumping this shit because too much feels for you are in love live :((

2015

“Wons, turn it up, turn it up!”

Wonwoo couldn’t help but snort from your excitement to see your longtime idol live. You worked hard to save enough so you could see Taylor Swift since then, and now you’re about to witness your turning point in life.

...together with your best friend, not to mention how he loathes crowds.

I Know Places is currently playing on the car stereo and you're warming up as you hit the high note in the chorus, dramatically pressing your chest with eyes shut. Wonwoo takes his final turn as you finally arrive at the stadium.

"Missed the note there, my friend." He teases. You could care less from his assed remarks because your mind's been in euphoria since you woke up from a power nap a few hours ago.

Outside the venue has already gathered a big crowd, and you patiently wait for your best friend who's double-checking the doors if they're surely closed.

Wonwoo has been your best friend for five years, and being grateful to have him is an understatement as he has witnessed your ups and downs in college. He knows that apart from your family and him, Taylor and her music has already played such a great role from adolescence until adulthood.

As a sucker for books, Wonwoo was undoubtedly impressed by Taylor's songwriting prowess since he listens to your discussions during the free time about the lyric analyses that you read across the internet, and you usually play her live performances whenever you pull off all-nighters that's why he agreed to be your concert buddy because he wants to see the person who could give rainbows to the person he likes.

Yes. The person he likes.

Wonwoo thought being in a Taylor Swift concert is not bad at all. It's like having a big crowd of best friends gathering in one huge place to have fun with their most talented best friend. Everyone's perfectly singing along to every lyric, breathing to each punctuation, and screaming at the top of their lungs.

Honestly speaking, he was having fun, and boy, he could sing along to a few songs while waving with his light-up bracelet.

Aside from being fascinated by the live performances, he would sometimes steal glances at you, making him amused by your kaleidoscope of emotions you've shown from the past eight performances. Sometimes you'd turn to him just to sing while holding your chest, and go back to screaming how much you love Taylor Swift.

After the succeeding crowd-jumping performances, Taylor comes out with her black Gibson acoustic guitar to perform an acoustic version of her song just like the old days. The crowd has once again roared, and you scoot close to Wonwoo to whisper that Taylor's going to sing your favorite song from 1989.

He knows the story behind it. You told him on your graduating year at the rooftop of your college building while chugging an energy drink just to keep yourself awake from pulling off an all-nighter for your thesis, it was about Taylor’s known actress friend falling in love with her producer on this album—someone with the name Jack—if he could still guess correctly.

Taylor has already ascended for a clearer sight of crowds from the top seats, instructing everyone to sing back the specific words. Wonwoo watches you hugging yourself while craning your neck so you could see Taylor from above.

One look, dark room

Meant just for you

Time moved too fast

You play it back

Buttons on a coat

Light-hearted joke

No proof, not much

But you saw enough

You and Wonwoo first met at the same elective during college freshman year. You were sitting near the door, sparing the next seat with your bag since someone from your class politely asked you to but unfortunately, she never came back and it was perfectly timed that Wonwoo immediately spotted the vacant seat beside you, exhausted from running before he gets late (yes, in a goddamn first day of class).

He learned that you’re taking up creative writing that’s why said elective was important for your course. He told you that he was taking up computer science, but he still needs to take the elective.

...and then, your friendship started.

You have friends, but they’re few for your liking because socializing is exhausting. Wonwoo, on the other hand, despised being exhausted around people and that’s the reason why both of you became friends quickly. Reading was Wonwoo’s stress escape and yours was binge-watching k-dramas and reality shows.

You can hear it in the silence, silence, you

You can feel it on the way home, way home, you

You can see it with the lights out, lights out

You are in love, true love

You are in love

Since both of you chose to live in dormitories at college, sometimes you’d walk together around the university park late at night and talk about stuff happening in your life outside academics. One time, you told him how you’re pissed at your family’s insights about coming out since they happened to share once about how your cousin came out at a family gathering and the next moment, he was already in the hot seat. You told Wonwoo that you wished you were there to end all of your religious hypocrite relatives.

Wonwoo, within the years of friendship, was never the type to initiate a conversation, but he’s an excellent listener. He could watch you talk about Taylor Swift, the perennial hate for your Major professor who’s academia-obsessed since she sets a standard too high for her liking while her class is on the brink of dropping out, and how you were fascinated about him staying up all night for computer games and still ace programming exams.

Suddenly, the crowd started to roar out of the blue, making him shake his head from spacing out. Still standing, much to his surprise since he hates getting tired, he realized that he’s just watching you being helplessly in awe at Taylor Swift no matter how neck-stiffening it is, how your eyes sparkled with bliss just like the days when you talk with him about the things you love.

And then he felt the pace of his heartbeat quickened.

The crowd was already singing along with excitement—he has no idea what kind of reason it is—but he remains watching you like you were excruciatingly hard to reach, despite how you could hear his loud heartbeat if this was an empty place.

One night he wakes

Strange look on his face

Pauses, then says “You're my best friend”

And you knew what it was

He is in love

You screamed you’re my best friend at the top of your lungs together with other sixty thousand people at Taylor despite how your best friend, who’s silently watching beside you, couldn’t calm himself down unnoticed.

You can hear it in the silence, silence, you

You can feel it on the way home, way home, you

You can see it with the lights out, lights out

You are in love, true love

Suddenly, you turn to Wonwoo as Taylor does her guitar break before singing the bridge, and you were surprised to see him just staring at you instead of watching Taylor from up above and tell you how skilled she was at playing guitar. The way he’s looking at you wasn’t even judging, teasing, or the usual antics that he does.

He’s just looking at you fondly and you thought maybe, he’s extremely happy that you get to see your longtime idol live after all these years and you deserved it so much.

...except that your tentative guess is incorrect.

“She’s really good, isn’t she?” you yelled at him proudly while pointing at Taylor with emphasis.

Your best friend could only nod and gesture at you to look back on your idol.

And so it goes

You two are dancing in a snow globe, 'round and 'round

And he keeps the picture of you in his office downtown

And you understand now why they lost their minds and fought the wars

And why I've spent my whole life tryin' to put it into words

That made Wonwoo look up to Taylor Swift in an instant and judged her as he could so. As Taylor stopped, the crowd screamed once again, but nothing is deafening as his heartbeat while watching you cheer in chorus.

He didn’t know if he should feel betrayed, because you were his partner during graduation ball and you were just having the best time of your lives because fuck it, despite being anxious about what’s to come after the graduation, both of you were so happy to have been able to survive despite the shit hole life your university has given.

He also happened to frame a picture of you in his office peacefully sitting beside the stacks of scratch papers for software development. He secretly requested for its original copy at the official student publication of your university during that one major event as he saw it on Facebook.

He realized that he’s in love with you after all this time.

Much to his misfortune, you suddenly looked at him again and your eyes met that he couldn’t look away, but this time it was replaced with worry. You caught him twice, and knowing Wonwoo, he’s not usually vocal when it comes to express his discomfort.

You gently hold Wonwoo’s hand. “Are you having a bad feeling? We could go out if you want to,” you whispered just audible enough for him to hear.

And that’s how he lost it.

It took him another deep breath to sink in that you chose his well-being over your once-in-a-lifetime moment with your idol.

Like… holy shit, he was so lucky to have you in his life and he thought this time, he wants to step out of his shell and gather the courage to tell you how much you mean to his life. He’s had enough secretly pining over you for years.

But first, he wants you to be happy and enjoy your time with Taylor. He shakes his head no and holds your shoulders to turn to Taylor who’s now descending for the next performance.

“I can’t believe she’s real, what the hell, she was fucking real, Wonwoo.” you sighed. “Oh my god.”

You couldn’t stop wiping your face after spacing out which made Wonwoo chuckle. After the concert and almost a painful hour of waiting to get out of the stadium, you mutually agreed to stop by the nearest convenience store.

Although you only bought a coffee and went back inside Wonwoo’s car.

“Me too.” Wonwoo whispers. That made you remember what happened during You Are In Love performance. You looked at him and tapped his shoulder.

“You looked unwell this evening. Were you honestly okay, Wons?” you ask.

He only blinked in response.

It took Wonwoo a few seconds to gather up his courage. Now that it’s only the two of you alone, he thought he must let it out.

“Yeah, I was just overwhelmed. You don’t have to worry.” he jokes, his attention remained at the store. He could see from his peripherals how your eyebrows furrowed, obviously not convinced enough by his excuse.

“What you told me about Taylor the first time you introduced her to me was...true,” he sighed deeply. “She sings what we couldn’t put into words.”

For someone like Wonwoo whose eloquence is something to look up to, you were confused by what he meant.

Wonwoo turns to face you and takes your icy palms to wrap them with his large, slender, and warm ones.

“I love you.” He says, straightly looking into your eyes.

Your eyes widen in surprise.

“Please don’t joke around!” You hit his shoulder, but all he does is let out a burst of breathy laughter.

But honestly, your heart skipped a beat after hearing his sudden confession.

Tracing circles on your hand, Wonwoo smiles at your bewildered expression. “You were wondering if I was having a bad time? No, it’s all Taylor’s fault for making me confess to you tonight. That took me a long time I guess.”

“Wait, what?”

“I love you and Taylor made me realize that I should confess before it gets too late.”

You looked up at Wonwoo while pulling your hand from his gentle hold and laughed. It was unbelievable how both of you have been painfully oblivious despite being helplessly pining towards each other.

It was your best friend’s turn to get puzzled so you took the time advantage to confess.

“Idiot, I liked you too, ever since we first met.” sounding bashful, you looked away hoping that you didn’t sound like an idiot. So much irony for making fun of your best friend a few moments ago. “I have no idea that you felt deeper than I thought I have.”

Even if you already knew how Wonwoo’s mind works for five years, he is always full of surprises.

Or maybe he was so happy tonight that he kissed your hand and never let go of it as he started driving you home.

#wonwoo x reader #wonwoo fluff #svt fluff #svt scenarios #svt au #DOOD MY FUCKEN HEART I CANT #stream ready to love everyone #lf: heaven's cloud stans #kpop fiction #kiwistories

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nevermindirah · 4 years

Text

I've been drafting and redrafting this meta post for weeks now. It's about to be 5781 and my country that was founded on settler colonial genocide and slavery and a deeply flawed but fierce attachment to democracy might go full dictatorship in about 6 weeks and it's time for me to post this thing.

All our immortals are warriors, all have been traumatized by war. But only three of them died their first deaths as soldiers in imperial armies. This fandom has already produced gallons of meta on Nicky dealing with his shit, because Joe would not fuck with an unapologetic Crusader. But there's very rich stuff in Booker and Nile's experiences and the parallels and distinctions between them.

Nile was 11 when her dad was killed in action - that was 2005, meaning she and her dad both died in the same war that George W Bush started in very tenuous response to 9/11. Sure, Nile's dad could have died in either Iraq or Afghanistan, or in a training accident or in an off-the-books mission we won't know about for a hundred more years, but he died in the War on Terror all the same. I had to look it up to be sure because Obama "drew down" the Afghanistan war in his second term, but nope, we're still in this fucking thing that never should've happened in the first place. The US war in Afghanistan just turned 19 years old. A lot of real-life Americans have experiences like the Freemans, parents and children both dying in the same war we shouldn't be in.

I know a lot of people like Nile who join the US military not just because it's the only realistic way for them to pay for college or afford decent healthcare, but also because they have a family history of military service that's a genuine source of pride. Military service has been a way for Americans of color to be accepted by white Americans as "true Americans" - from today's Dreamers who Obama promised would earn protection from deportation by enlisting, to Filipino veterans of WW2 earning US citizenship that Congress then denied them for several decades, to slaves "earning" their freedom through service in the Union Army and in the Continental Army before it. As if freedom is a thing one should have to earn. Lots of Black Americans have the last name Freeman for lots of different escaping-slavery reasons, but it's possible that this specific reason is how Nile got her last name.

Dying in a war you know your country chose to instigate unnecessarily and that maybe you believe it shouldn't be waging is a very particular kind of trauma. It is a much deeper trauma when your military service, and your father's, and maybe generations of your ancestors', is a source of pride and access to resources for you but your sacrifice is nearly meaningless to the white supremacist system that deploys you. That kind of cognitive dissonance encourages a person to ignore their own feelings just so they can function. How do you wake up in the morning, how do you risk your life every day, how do you *kill other people* in a war that shouldn't be happening and that you shouldn't have to serve in just so that your country sees you as human?

We see Nile do her best to be a kind and well-mannered invader. Depending on your experience with US imperialism, Nile giving candy to kids and reminding her squad to be respectful is either heartwarming or very disturbing propaganda. We also see Nile clutching her cross necklace and praying. From the second Christianity arrived on this land it's been a tool of white supremacist assimilation and control, but like military service, it's a fucked-up but genuine source of pride and access to resources for many Americans whose pre-Columbian ancestors were not Christian, and it's a powerful source of comfort and resilience. This Jew who's had a lot of Spanish Inquisition nightmares would like to say for the record that it's not Jesus's fault that his big name fans are such shitty people.

Nile is a good person trying to do her best in a fucked-up world. "Her best" just radically changed. Her access to information on just how fucked up the world is has also just radically changed, because everything's so fucked up a person needs a lot of time to learn about it all and not only does she have centuries but she won't have to spend that time worrying about rent and healthcare and taxes, and because she now has Joe and Nicky and Andy's stories, and because she now has Copley's inside scoop on just what the fuck the CIA has been up to. Like, I want a fic where Copley tells Nile what was really behind the brass's decisions that led to her experiences on the ground in Afghanistan, that led to her father's death, but also I Do Not Want That.

Nile was 19 when Alicia Garza posted on Facebook that Black Lives Matter. She grew up in Chicago well before white people on Twitter were saying maybe police violence against Black people is a problem. She knows this is a deeply fucked up country, and she put on her Marine uniform and deployed with her team of mostly fellow women of color, and maybe she and Dizzy and Jay marched in the streets between deployments, maybe they texted each other when a white manarchist at a protest sneered at one of them for being a Marine. Nile's been busy surviving, and she knows some shit and she's seen some shit but she hasn't had much time to think about what it all means. Now she's got time. And Joe, Nicky, and Andy are willing to listen. (Is Copley willing to listen? I could see that going either way.)

Booker might also be willing to listen. The brilliant idea of cleaning up the rat Frenchman so that Nile can have millennia of emotional support and orgasms sent me down a Wikipedia rabbit hole, and holy shit do Booker and Nile have a lot of shared life experience as pawns of imperial wars. Obviously Booker is white and a man and that makes a very big difference. (Though G-d help me, Booker could be Jewish and France was knocking its Jews around like ping-pong balls in the 18th-19th centuries. Jewish Booker wouldn't make him any less white but it does add a shit ton of depth of common experience: military service as a way for your country to see you as a full member of society who matters, because who you are means that's not guaranteed.)

Booker was hanged for desertion from the army Napoleon sent to invade Russia as part of his quest to control all of Europe. We learn in the comics / this YouTube video that Booker was on his way to prison for forgery when he was offered military service instead of jail time. While we don't know how he felt about the choice beyond that he did choose soldier over inmate, it's unlikely he thought invading Russia was a great idea, given he tried to desert because Napoleon like a true imperialist dumbass didn't plan for how he was going to feed his army or keep them from freezing to death in fucking Russian winter.

I find it very interesting that the French Empire was at its largest right before invading Russia and fell apart completely within a few years. My country has been falling the fuck apart for a while now - see aforementioned War on Terror, growing extremes of economic stratification in the richest country in the world, abject refusal to meaningfully deal with climate change that US-based corporations hold the lion's share of blame for - but between Trump's abject refusal to meaningfully deal with the coronavirus and strong likelihood that he'll refuse to leave office even if a certain pathetic moderate I will hold my nose and vote for does manage to earn a majority of votes, ~y~i~k~e~s.

Our only immortals who have never known a world before modernity and nationalism happen to have been born of wars that were the beginning of the end for the imperialist democracies that raised them, and I think in the centuries to come that's going to give them some very interesting shit to talk about.

Nile's a Young Millennial, a digital native born in the United States after the collapse of the USSR left her country as the world's only superpower. She's used to a pace of technological change that human brains are not evolved to handle.

Napoleon trying to make all of Europe into the French Empire was a leading cause of the growth of European nationalism and the establishment of liberal democracies both in Europe and in many places that Europeans had colonized. Booker's first war produced the only geopolitical world order Nile has ever known and I just have so many feelings ok. Nile the art history nerd is probably not aware of this, and why would she be? This humble meta author is, like Nile, a product of US public schools, and all they taught me about world history was Ancient Greece/Rome/Egypt/Mesopotamia and then World War 2. Being raised in The World's Only Superpower is WEIRD.

Nile the Young Millennial is used to the devastating volume of bad news the internet makes possible. But she has absolutely no concept of a world where the United States of America is not The World's Only Superpower. In order to get up in the morning and put on her gear and point guns at civilians in Afghanistan, she can only let herself think so much about whether that American exceptionalism thing is a good idea.

She's about to spend many, many years where the only people who she can truly trust are people who are older than not only her country but the IDEA of countries.

She's got time, and she's got a lot of new information at her disposal. But there comes a point where my obsession with her friendship and eventual very hot sex life with Booker just isn't about sex at all. Nile needs someone to talk to about the United States who Gets It. Booker the rat Frenchman coerced into Napoleon's army, and Copley the Black dual citizen of the US and UK who's retired from a CIA career that he half understands as deeply problematic but half still believes in hence his mind-bogglingly stupid partnership with Merrick, are the only people on the planet Nile can talk to honestly about, and really be understood in, all the thoughts and feelings and fears and hopes of her experience as a US Marine.

And one more thing before I go get ready for Rosh Hashanah: Orientalism was a defining element of the Crusades and that legacy is painfully clear in current US-led Western military activity in Afghanistan, Syria, Israel/Palestine, you name it. Turns out memoirs by French veterans of the Napoleonic Wars are full of Orientalist language about Russia as well. I am maybe/definitely writing a fic where Booker spends his exile reading critical race theory and decolonial feminism and trauma studies monographs because he can't be honest with a therapist but maybe he can heal this way and become the team therapist his own damn self. I just really need him to read Edward Said and Gloria Anzaldúa and then go down on Nile, ok?

#nile freeman #tog meta #book of nile #sebastien le livre #the old guard #mine #us imperialism #european imperialism #jewish things #antiblackness #police violence #orientalism

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jgukmilk · 3 years

Text

he won’t know 03 (m) final

➔ summary: after weeks of hiding from the world, your friend, Mina, finally convinces you to crawl out of your cave and join her at a friday-frat party. You definitely didn’t think you’d end up with the person you had spent several weeks trying to avoid.

➔ pairing: Jungkook X Reader

➔ genre: cheating!au, smut, angst if you squint, much deserved fluff fucking finally

➔ warnings: mention of sexual assault, unprotected sex, soft sex because i’m a whore for that shit, jungoo is the one crying in this part, jungoo being a soft idiot nothing out of the ordinary, fingering, oral (f. and m. receiving), handjob, fingering, mild dirty talk, cervix kisses :), cum eating, throat fucking•_•, runny mascara because it’s chef’s kiss, soft dom jungoo, a really lame biology pick up line at the end that i am pathetically proud of, that’s it..? it’s unedited btw :P

➔ wordcount: 8.3k

➔ a/n: this was a bitch to finish but holy fuck. hope you enjoy ;) feedback is always appreciated !

part 1, part 2, part 3 final.

It had officially been seventeen and-a-half days since Jungkook came to visit you at your dorm, only to end up in you crying your eyes out in front of him and shove him out of your room.

Mina came home later that night and questioned your tear-stained cheeks. Did you tell her? No, of course not. You brushed it off and convinced her that you were having a hard time with the breakup with Jaehyun, that everything was still so fresh, and you simply just needed time. Though that was as far from the truth as it could possibly be, she believed you regardless which you were thankful for.

You didn’t miss Jaehyun, not one bit. You hadn’t seen him after your last encounter, and you thanked your stars daily. To be honest you weren’t given a chance to run into that asshole since you had reduced your time spent outside of the dorm.

Your schedule pretty much consisted of wake up, go to your classes, come back to the dorm, study, eat, sleep, repeat. It sounded like one of those shabby T-shirt every twelve-year-old would wear back in middle school and show it off for being ‘quirky’.

You weren’t complaining, you preferred things this way, for now at least. Though you couldn’t deny that you missed your friends, but you needed some time alone and you knew that, so to distract yourself from missing your friends, what better way to do so than studying till the ass-crack of dawn on a Friday night.

Fridays were the only day of the week you could spend peacefully unbothered. Every other day would consist of countless texts and calls from your friends asking about your whereabouts and why they almost never saw you around campus anymore.

To which you told them you were busy studying and thanked them for checking in on you. It wasn’t a complete lie, you were, in fact, busy studying. They never saw you because, you were always on your desk burying your face between the pages of a textbook. What you didn’t tell them was that you were so far ahead with the curriculum that you could go a whole two weeks without even touching any of your books and you wouldn’t be behind.

You never realized how much you had read ahead until a few days ago when your biology professor had only begun to teach you about DNA replication, transcription and translation. You had already covered half of it.

Your professor always did say that the unspoken rule of studies was to always read ahead. Though you didn’t think he meant to this certain extent.

You hadn’t felt academic stress in a while due to your habit of studying so much, and you were happy about it of course, but holy fuck, you were so bored, and it was starting to get to you.

“Y/N!” perfect timing for your best friend to break you out of your thoughts. Mina happily pranced through your shared dorm room and over to you, “Mina” you said back, smiling, although not in the same enthusiasm, meh – A for effort.

“Oh my god, you’re actually awake,” she said, placing herself on her bed while remaining eye contact with you.

“Well yeah, I have some topics I still need to cover before I go to bed,” Lies. You certainly didn’t have any topics you needed to cover. You would’ve gone to bed if you knew Mina was coming back to the dorm so early. It was Friday night after all, which meant that Mina was out partying with the rest of the guys. Not today, apparently.

“Isn’t there a party today?” you asked, flipping through the pages of the book in front of you, pretending to read through the paragraphs that seemed like nothing more than dull words.

“Well… yeah, but, I figured I’d rather spend my night with you – you know, since it’s... it’s been a while,” you immediately stopped fiddling with the paper, “oh,” was all you could say. “I-I mean, if you wanna study, you totally can! I don’t want to interrupt or – or anything.” You shook your head, “no, no… uhm, I could use a break anyway.” Her face relaxed.

“So… how’ve you been?” you looked around the room, “I’m okay, just studying, nothing else really,” you reassured her “I feel like I haven’t seen you in forever,” she said, barely above a whisper, however you could still make out the melancholic tone hidden behind her voice.

“yeah… I’m sorry, I’m just – “

“studying? Yeah that seems to be your entire world lately.” She cut you off, her voice a little louder than it was previously. You opened your mouth to respond but – “Y/N c’mon, I know I haven’t necessarily been with you physically lately, but I’m not oblivious. Our exams are in a couple of months and you’re studying as if they’re tomorrow.” She explained all in one breath, “the curriculum this semester isn’t even that content-heavy, even the professors told us we could take it easy.”

“where are you going with this?” you asked in a weak voice. She seemed to have you all figured out. You truly underestimated how well your best friend understood you. “I just want to know why? Why are you avoiding your friends… why are you avoiding me?”

And then it came back. Everything you had been trying to avoid for the past two weeks came back. Jaehyun, the cheating, the assault, Jungkook. You began to feel your eyes stinging, subconsciously you averted them towards the ceiling. “Y/N, there’s something you’re not telling me. I want to help, please let me help.”

You made your way towards the bed, seating yourself next to her, “is this about Jaehyun? Do you miss hi–“

“No, God no I don’t, I’m so happy he’s out of my life,” she looked at you perplexed. And so, you told her. You told her absolutely everything, all the way from Jaehyun trying to touch you when you were trying to explain yourself to him, to the conversation you had with Jungkook in your dorm room several days ago.

“I’m gonna kill him,” you swiftly reached for her hand as you saw her attempt to rush out of your shared dorm, “no! I… It’s over now, he’s out of my life, there’s no reason to go look for him.”

“Of course there is! Why didn’t you–!” She yelled, however quickly stopped herself to calm down. “Why didn’t you tell anyone? He’s getting away with this when he deserves to rot in hell.” It wasn’t that simple. You never wanted to see him again, and telling any form of authority about what had happened certainly meant you were going to cross paths with him often.

Plus, it wasn’t even likely that they would’ve believed you, after all it was your word against his. There was no physical evidence of what he had done. You had your ripped clothes but you threw those away the day after the incident, you never wanted to look at them again and be reminded of this crap.

Then you had the bruises on your wrist, but Jaehyun could easily say that you guys had been into some sort of bdsm to make them believe him. They were also healed now, so there was no evidence at all to secure your side.

“I don’t want to constantly be reminded of what he did, I just want to move forward. Please, you can’t tell anyone.” Your voice cracked at the end, in which Mina reached out to hold your hand. “I don’t want anyone to know,” you cried.

“I’m so sorry, bug,” Mina rubbed your back empathetically, in a subtle attempt to calm you down. Though Mina tried her best to not scream at the top of her lungs, spitting out every profanity to curse Jaehyun. This wasn’t about her, and she knew that very well.

All she could do was comfort you and listen to everything you had bottled up for weeks. “You know what you need?” she smiled at you gently. You sniffled, rubbing your red, tear-stained cheeks, “what?”

“You need fresh air, to doll up and feel good! We all miss you so much Y/N, I don’t want you to spend another Friday night in here alone by yourself.” You raised an eyebrow, silently urging her to continue, “Wooyoung’s parent are out of town for the weekend so he’s hosting are party.”

“And?”

“And we’re going!” she clapped excitingly, “no Mina I–“ she held both your hands tightly, puppy eyes were presented right in front of you, “pleaseeee, just for an hour, you can leave after that if you don’t like it.”

You thought about it for a moment. You did deserve a break, you needed to get out of the dorm anyway, have some fun with your friends, maybe even get a bit of well-deserved alcohol in your system.

“Fuck it, let’s do i–“

“YES! Okay, okay I know exactly what you’re wearing.” She rushed over to her closet, rummaging through fabric after fabric while you silently watched behind her, seated on your own bed. “Put this on right now,” You didn’t get a good look at the clothing item she threw at you, all you knew was that the fabric was quite tiny. It was a beautiful dark navy and black fabric that was smooth to the touch.

It was a woolen, striped bodycon dress. True to its name – it looked very tight. You looked at her perplexed, “that’s me being nice. My other option was throwing you my skirt that would barely cover your juicy ass.” You rolled your eyes, but smiled nonetheless, “fine, what shoes with?” she pointed at your black high-top converse that were placed neatly by the door. Alright, black converse it was.

–

“Y/N?” was the first thing you heard when walking through the door, entering the crowd of drunks. Before you stood your friends, the friends you had missed oh so much. Jimin was the first to run to you, lifting you off the ground to swing you around, “Y/N!” He laughed excitingly. Right behind him stood Seokjin, “Okay, I’ve had too much to drink guys I’m starting see Y/N,” you couldn’t help but laugh, “Hi Jin.”

One by one, they each gave you a heartwarming hug. Wow, you missed them, and you didn’t even realize, “about time you got out of the damn dorm,” Taehyung complained, you playfully slapped his shoulder. “You don’t get to say shit, you rot in your own dorm just as much as I do when you don’t have classes,” smiling, he scoffed, “I have altered my ways, about time you did too,” you shook your head.

You hadn’t noticed that an hour had already passed by, and you didn’t want to leave one bit. Your night was just getting started. Looking around you spotted all your friends, all but two. Neither had you seen the entire party: Yoongi and Jungkook.

“Jin!” you loudly spoke through the banging music, “yeah?!” he replied, “have you seen Yoongi?” you cupped your mouth in attempt to speak as clearly as possible, “What?! No thank you! I don’t wan’t Oolong tea. There’s booze why would I want tea?!” You rubbed your face, dragging Jin’s ear closer to your mouth, “Have you seen Yoongi?”

“OW, Jesus woman.” He rubbed his ear, “He should be in the kitchen,” you thanked him, and apologetically smiled for almost ripping his ear off.

You skipped your way through the heavy crowd of drunk youth. Some of which even looked younger than that. A string of ‘sorry’ and ‘excuse me’ was heard from you as you pushed your way to the kitchen.

“Yoongi?” he turned around, seeing you. He eyed the drink in his hand that resembled the color of piss, “I’ve had too much,” the bottom of the cup now faced the ceiling, the remainder of the liquid spilling down the edge of the cup and down the sink.

“Okay, you guys really have to stop doing that,” you laughed.

“Y/N? What are you doing here?” The mint-haired boy asked in a monotone, your smile faltered.

“I’m happy to see you too?” your voice was skeptical. He seemed annoyed, which frankly, you didn’t understand. You hadn’t seen the man in well over two weeks, no way had he found a reason to be mad at you unless you had happened to eat the last lamb skewer in his dream. He always did love his lamb skewers.

“’M sorry, my head’s spinning,” instantly your suspicion was replaced with worry. You quickly made your way to the sink and filled a glass with cold water and handed it to him, which he gratefully accepted. “How’ve you been?”

You sighed, “you want the rainbow-sprinkled version or the one that was dragged through the mud, shat and pissed on,” he couldn’t help but chuckle.

“I’ll take the piss-stained version, thank you.” He placed the red, water filled plastic cup next to him on the kitchen counter.

“Rough couple of weeks. I’m doing better though, so that’s something.” You shrugged your shoulders. Yoongi listened carefully, gently tilting his head to the side anticipating for you to keep going, however you didn’t, that was all you were going to say. Yoongi wasn’t stupid, clearly something had happened to make you disappear for weeks, but whatever it was it had to remain unknown for him – he wasn’t going to push you to talk to him.

“And where’s Jaehyun been through all of this?” he speculated.

“Uhm, we broke up,” you tried to laugh it off. His brows raised in surprise.

“Oh, well, I’m sorry–“ your hands swung in front of you to shake them. To Yoongi, you had most likely looked like you were sad from the breakup, understandably so. Afterall that is the typical reaction to a breakup, isn’t it?

“Don’t be! My god, no. It could – I’m not –“ you closed your eyes, sighing gently, “It was for the best.”

“I’m not going, Tae,” Jungkook pinched the bridge of his nose with thumb and index finger, attempting to rub the non-existing headache out of his temples.

“Come on, Jungkook. It’s been a hot minute since you’ve partied with all of us,” a hot minute, was putting it lightly. Jungkook was currently in his own shared dorm with Taehyung, with a black DualShock controller seated in his lap – enjoying a game of overwatch shortly before Taehyung had dialed his number. Several empty packets of ramen placed randomly across the room.

Different flavors of course. Variety was important.

“Can’t. ‘m busy.” Though Jungkook couldn’t see it, he was sure Taehyung had rolled his eyes through the other line. “Busy my ass,” Taehyung sighed, “you do this every week.”

“I wouldn’t have to do this every week if you would just stop asking,” Jungkook spat back, with a little more attitude than he had intended. “Jungshi,” the older friend started, “you can’t let this bother you forever,” he knew. Fuck, no one knew better than Jungkook that he couldn’t spend the rest of eternity sulking over this. Over you.

But no one knew how Jungkook was feeling either, every living fiber of his felt either conflicted or guilty. He couldn’t help but think that what had happened to you, was partially his fault – no, it was entirely his fault. Whatever Jaehyun had done was because of Jungkook.

Your words circled back and forth in his mind, day and night. Whenever he closed his eyes all he could see was your tear-stained orbs looking at him with so much hurt and hatred. Telling him to leave and that you never wanted to see him again.

All he wanted to do was talk to you, to know how you were feeling. Were you okay? Were you not? Jungkook had to make peace with the fact that he might in fact never get any answer for any of his questions. All he wanted was to see you, just for one small, useless moment.

He hadn’t seen you since that day. Frankly, it seemed like you had completely vanished from the face of the earth, even the guys hadn’t seen you. He managed to get a hold of Mina a few times, briefly asking of your whereabouts. She always tried her best to console and reassure him that you were okay, you were just always busy lately.

Busy.

You were always busy. Jungkook wasn’t stupid, he knew exactly what it meant: you were escaping.

Busy.

Oh, how Jungkook had grown to hate that word. How very hypocritical of him, he was mentally scolding you for using the lame excuse of being ‘busy’, all while doing the exact same behind the screen of his phone to his best friend.

“I just need time, hyung.” Jungkook tried to justify. “Time?” Taehyung scoffed, “You’ve had two weeks. I’m sorry Guk, but I’m not gonna sit around while I watch you completely lose yourself.” The younger slid further down the chair, staring blankly at the bright screen displaying the home-screen of his favorite video game.

“She’s here.”

Silence…

You… you were there? He could see you. Jungkook had a chance to see you. “Good to know,” was all he could say. “And you don’t give a rat’s ass?” Of course, he did, but he couldn’t because, “she doesn’t want to see me, hyung. If I show up, I’ll ruin her night. She isn’t hiding from the world anymore.”

“You can’t be sure– “

“Yes, I can,” Jungkook closed his eyes, a small exhale moved past his lips, “I can’t ruin this. Please don’t make me ruin this for her.” His voice was barely above a whisper. He felt weak. He couldn’t describe the growing urge he felt to rush over to whatever party you were at, just to see you. But he couldn’t be selfish. Not again.

Last time he acted selfishly he hurt you. He lost you. He wasn’t sure how it could get any worse – after all, you were out of his life, but Jungkook wasn’t willing to be daring, not if it meant it would hurt you again.

“Fine,” an extended beep was heard from the small speaker of the phone. Completely defeated, Jungkook gently threw his phone back onto his bed. Leaning back in his chair he faced the ceiling. He couldn’t seem to get himself to play another game, so shutting everything down, he went to get himself ready for bed.

Diving under the cool, fluffy sheets didn’t seem to be enough for Jungkook to knock out, which was odd. Jungkook could easily fall asleep anywhere on anything. One time he even managed to fall into a deep sleep after downing two 500ml Monster energy drinks. He had planned to pull an all-nighter with some of his online friends for a good few games of Valorant, the best way to do so was to shove an insanely unhealthy amount of energy drinks down the hatch.

He didn’t expect it to be so easy to fall asleep right away – he didn’t even remember walking over to his bed before dropping dead. But this, this was just frustrating.

He tossed and turned for what felt like hours, until when he finally felt his eyelids become heavy, a key was heard jiggling in the lock of the door. It must’ve taken Jungkook longer to fall asleep than he had anticipated if Taehyung had already decided to leave the party; that boy wouldn’t leave a party unless bits of the morning sunlight was peeking through the windows of the house of the host.

The door finally opened. Jungkook squinted his eyes, adjusting to the new light shining through the door frame. A black silhouette walked pasted the door. It wasn’t until Jungkook’s blurry vision had cleared up that he noticed a feminine like figure standing at the door. Not just anybody, no.

You. In fact.

Jungkook felt his heart begin to tie knots. He was dreaming for sure; there was no way you could just appear in his dorm of all dorms. But there you were, in the flesh. You gently clasped the bundle of keys in your palm, preventing them from making any further noise, taking soft strides through the room – you probably thought he was asleep.

You quietly made your way over to Taehyung’s bed, opening the drawer of his nightstand. Jungkook’s eyes monitoring your every move went completely unnoticed by you. The poor boy was in awe, it was like you were an angel that had descended from heaven and blessed him with your presence. Frankly, in Jungkook’s eyes, you were an angel.

You let a small aha slip past your lips, in your hands was a turquoise polaroid camera. You neared the delicate camera to your face, making sure it was the right item through the darkness, and indeed it was.

About to make your way out of the dorm, your head turned slightly; in the direction of the boy that was currently sweating his balls off and his heart pounding like crazy. Fuck, did you see him looking at you? You must’ve, you wouldn’t look at him otherwise. Could you hear his heart beating through his ribcage? That has to be it, after all it was so quiet you could hear a pin drop.

He hurriedly closed his eyes, praying to the lord above that for once in Jungkook’s cursed life, the spirits would work in his favor. God, if you do this for me, I won’t fart on Taehyung’s head pillow anymore.

You slowly made your way over to Jungkook’s bed, with each step you took he felt a new set of sweat gather in his warm palms. He couldn’t feel anything, all he heard was the shuffle of his blanket. The blanket that was supposed to be on him.

While Jungkook had gone unnoticed to you, the absence of his soft, grey blanket on his body had been completely disregarded. He had tossed so much in his unreachable sleep that he had kicked his blanket right off of him.

Not only did Jungkook feel his body overcome in warmth, but his heart also danced at the thought of you going out of your way to cover him in his blanket. Your kindness really was out of this world.

No matter how many times someone had hurt you, you never failed to leave the ways of resentment and treat people with kindness. You were truly too kind for your own good. That was one of your qualities that Jungkook was most fond of, the world didn’t deserve you. it didn’t deserve an angel.

You on the other hand, were completely oblivious to the fact that the man in front of you was wide awake. You crouched down by the side of his bed, you really should get going, you weren’t supposed to linger for so long.

Your eyes trailed the sleeping beauty on the bed. He looked so peaceful, his long eyelashes resting on the top of his cheek, a few of the hairs grazing the scar on right side of the skin. His dark hair was sprawled over his forehead. His lips were sealed, but slightly pouty, they looked so soft.

You couldn’t make much of his face, the only source of light being the moon light throw the window.

You hand moved on its own. Fingers trailing to the strands of the dark hair, moving the silky locks out of his face.

You wish things had been different between you. You’d be lying to yourself if you said you didn’t miss Jungkook, which is the exact lie you had been telling yourself for weeks. Even though he was right in front of you, you missed him. No, fuck. You couldn’t miss him, even though you wanted things to be different, they never could be.

You snapped out of your daze, removing your hands from his face, you stood up and turned your heel.

“Don’t leave.” You flinched, a small holy shit, was heard from you. Turning back around, you saw Jungkook in the exact same position you had left him in, the only difference was that his eyes were now open. The warm orbs you were completely dazed by were now looking at you.

You had to leave, but you couldn’t, your feet grew minds of their own, obediently staying in place.

Jungkook sat up from his bed, never breaking eye contact with you. He was now seated at the edge of his bed, hands on either side of his thighs, tightly clenching on the sheets beneath him in order to prevent himself from reaching out after you.

There was no exchange of words, you were both lost in each other’s gazes. You were clutching your jacket tightly, looking like a dear caught in head lights. You took a step backwards, gathering every ounce of power you had in your body to try and get out of there. You just couldn’t stay.

“Please,” his voice sounded broken. There it was again – the expression on his face you had never learned to read. His eyelids were droopy, eyebrows relaxed yet slightly furrowed.

He rose from his bed, testing the waters. He examined your reaction before moving any further. When he saw you standing completely still, he took a step forward; you didn’t move, so he took yet another step. That’s when you started to back away, you didn’t look scared or alarmed, so he continued.

This kept going until the back of your thighs met a desk you had failed to notice was there in the first place. You have got to start paying more attention to your surroundings.

Jungkook was now in front of you, eyes looking at yours, searching for any sign of uncertainty. But all he saw was sadness and hurt. His heart clenched in discomfort, because partially – if not all – of the hurt in your eyes was because of him.

He wanted to pour his heart out to you, tell you he was sorry for being an asshole. Tell you he would cut his heart into pieces and hand it to you one by one if that’s what it took to make you happy.

But he wanted to be cautious, he didn’t want to scare you off. So instead, he carefully, carefully, lifted his hand up to your face. The knuckle of his middle finger grazed the side of your cheek. You didn’t flinch.

He extended his fingers to hold your cheek in his palm, his thumb ever so slightly caressing the flush skin. It wasn’t until you leaned into his touch that he felt how warm you were. He could barely make out the light tint of a rosy color on your cheeks. Must’ve been from the booze you’ve ingested at the party, he thought.

Unbeknownst to him, you had barely had enough alcohol to call yourself tipsy.

Deep in your own thoughts, you felt Jungkook’s other hand slip around your waist, the fingers on your cheek descended down to accompany his other hand.

He was hugging you. His face was buried right in the crook of your neck, arms securely wrapped around your frame, fearing for his dear life that you were going to let go of him. His fragile soul couldn’t take it if you did.

You, however, couldn’t bring yourself to hug him back, not until you felt the skin on your shoulder grow wet. “I’m so sorry,” he breathed, barely above a whisper – audible to your ear, nonetheless.

He pulled away, his hands resting on your sides lamely. His eyes were glossy, the tip of his nose red, and a few tears had trailed down his cheeks, leaving stains of the salty water. “I’m – It’s my fault, all of it, I know I don’t deserve it but please forgive me.” he sniffled, “I know you hate me, and you have every right to – “

“I don’t hate you,” for the first time that night, you spoke to him. Your voice instantly sedated the distress in Jungkook. You wiped the tears streaming down his face with your cold thumb, which only caused more to fall. “You should… It’s all my fault.”

Although that had been your exact theory for the past weeks, you couldn’t bring yourself to believe that the statement was true anymore. You continuously blamed Jungkook for everything that had happened to you, but that wasn’t fair, you realized that now.

Because if Jungkook really was at fault, then so were you. After all, it takes two to tango.

“It’s not,” you tried to soothe the tremendous guilt you could recognize behind his doe eyes, it was the exact same guilt you had felt when you returned from the weekend at the summerhouse. The same guilt that had eaten every bit of your fiber. Blaming yourself for days for having cheated on your now ex-boyfriend who turned out to be the biggest piece of shit to walk the earth.

“You didn’t force me to do anything,” you admitted, “but that fucker – “ Jaehyun, Jungkook hissed.

“Anything that came after the summerhouse wasn’t your fault. Jaehyun showed me who he really was – an asshole in disguise,” at the mention of what you had been through, Jungkook’s grip on your sides tightened slightly. You knew he was blaming himself for what Jaehyun had done.

It wasn’t anyone but Jaehyun’s fault.

You cupped his face in both your hands, smiling softly, “please stop blaming yourself for something you had no control over.” You spoke to him, but also to yourself.

For the longest time you thought it was your fault, that if you hadn’t slept with Jungkook, that you and Jaehyun would still be happy and he would never had touched you like he did.

You and Jaehyun hadn’t been happy for a while, and if he hadn’t snapped you would’ve continued to date A-level garbage.

It took you some time to realize that it was never your fault, and it most certainly wasn’t Jungkook’s fault. Your stomach dropped at the thought of him blaming himself so mercilessly.

He sniffled harder at your words, “I’m sorry, I’m so sorr–“

The kiss was soft. You could tell he completely froze against your lips. Your hands were still on his cheeks; the feel of the occasional tear grazed the skin of your fingers. It didn’t take long for him to melt completely against the plush of your warm lips.

His arms moved back around your waist, pulling you against him until you were flush against his chest. You pulled away. He followed you, refusing that’d be the end of your kiss. His pleading lips captured yours in a second kiss.

You wrapped your arms around his neck in an attempt to deepen the kiss, not having much room to move them any place else when Jungkook was pressing himself so hard against you.

“I missed you,” he breathed between the kiss “so much.” Fuck, if only he knew how much you had missed him, “I couldn’t bare not having you around me.” You hummed against his mouth, hoping he understood that you reciprocated.

You felt his warm tongue scrape against your top lip, pleading to have a taste of yours. You complied easily. Opening your mouth for him to explore the heavenly wonder that was your mouth.

You had kissed Jungkook before, but this felt different, it was softer, much more gentle. The gliding of his tongue against yours felt new, but so right.

You soon came to the agreement that kissing Jungkook was one of your favorite things to do. The slow dance of your lips increased the beating of your heart, you were sure he could feel it knock against his chest.

He lifted your body, as if you were a feather and seated you on the desk behind you, standing right between your legs. His hands resting on either thigh, gently caressing the bare flesh.

Your lips suddenly felt cold, opening your eyes you found Jungkook’s brown orbs staring right at you. Worry began to creep its way up your spine. “What’s wrong?”

“Do… Do you want me to stop?”

He was being careful. Careful not to cross any boundaries. He couldn’t fuck up again, not this time. You smiled at him. Taking his hand in yours, you placed a peck at the top of his palm, “not at all.”

Jungkook swears his heart melted then and there; the softness in your eyes, the relaxed tone of your voice, there was no hesitation. You felt safe, which was everything Jungkook ever wanted.

He leaned back in, you closed your eyes, puckering up thinking he was going in for another kiss. You felt a pair of soft bud-like lips at the side of your jaw, “beautiful,” he whispered to himself. He kissed the top of your covered shoulder.

You leaned back slightly, both hands steady behind you to support you weight. Jungkook leaned forward, following you, refusing that any sort of distance was between you.

Even though you had given him the ok, you could feel Jungkook was slightly hesitant in his moves, which was nothing like the Jungkook you had in front of you almost an entire month ago. He was so confident and cocky, yet now, he seemed unsure.

He was afraid of touching you and screwing up everything.

“I won’t leave this time,” you whispered, moving your head so that you were now looking at him, “I’m not gonna run away.” You took his hand in yours, guiding them towards your tits. Jungkook watched in awe as his hand completely engulfed your breast.

You let go of his hand when you felt him begin to fondle with the perky tit. He moved back to your neck, but instead of small affectionate kisses, he now began to place open-mouthed kisses at the expanse of your neck. You tilted your head to the side, allowing him more space; you felt the corners of his lips curl slightly.

You gasped at the feeling of his tongue gliding over the skin, slapping your hand over your mouth. While one of his hands were busy with your chest, the other removed the hand from your face, “don’t, you sound so pretty.”

The fingers that were once wrapped around your hand moved down your torso, grazing the apex of your thigh. With his mouth still busy on your neck, he hoisted the length of your stripped dress (that was actually Mina’s), just enough to expose most of your legs, but not enough to reveal the fabric of your underwear.

The pad of his cold fingers slithered over the black textile experimentally. Carefully brushing over your clothed clit, you whimpered. You sounded downright touch deprived.

The lustful boy in front of you began sucking on your neck, all while cupping your clothed cunt without warning. “Fuck,” You jumped at the overwhelming touch.

“So sensitive” he mumbled, “aren’t you, angel,” you hummed at the rightfully missed affectionate name. You gripped his shoulders when you felt him massage a little harsher at your mound. Your underwear was beginning to stick to your folds embarrassingly fast.

Jungkook curled a finger around the section of fabric that was directly against your pussy. Providing access for his hand to touch your warmth without removing your underwear. A muffled, high pitched moan of his name rolled off your tongue at his slender finger sliding into your velvety walls.

You were already so wet, and you were sure he noticed how embarrassed you were about it, with the way you were discreetly trying to close your legs.

He used his other hand to keep your legs apart. “Don’t be shy,” he soothed, “I love this pretty” he scraped his finger against the spongy spot, “pretty pussy.”

“Jungkook, please,” you whined, it only caused Jungkook to chuckle whole-heartedly at your neediness, “what is it, baby?” he pressed his thumb against your clit, gently tapping at it. You shuttered.

“I, fuck, I–“ your thighs began to tense, “tell me,” he urged. You were trying your best, but every sentence you were attempted to formulate was instantly thrown out the window the second Jungkook added another finger into your cunt.

His fingers were scraping at your walls, pumping into you or scissoring. The dangerous combination of all of the above, and his thumb rubbing meaningless patterns on your nub had you seeing stars.

Too focused on his magical fingers, you overlooked the small detail of Jungkook now sitting between your thighs, kneeling. He rubbed your thigh soothingly.

Deciding to help you out, Jungkook wrapped his fingers around the lame excuse of your panties, dragging the pathetic fabric down your legs. You were now completely exposed.

Jungkook eyes you between your legs, shamelessly. “Pretty girl,” he wooed. He pulled his fingers out of you, you whined at the empty feeling.

He brought his soaked fingers up to his tongue, slowly licking them clean, all while maintaining eye contact with you. Telling yourself you could cum from the sight alone was in no way an understatement.

“Mmm, good, so fucking good.” He purred against his fingers. “Bet it would taste even better from here,” teasingly, he slid his finger up your soaked slit, punctuating his sentence, “wouldn’t it, angel?” You quivered at his words. “is that what you want?” yes. “your words, pretty girl.”

“Yes – Yes, please. Please eat me out,” without further ado, Jungkook wasted no time placing a much-deserved kiss on your swollen bud. You moaned in relief, throwing your head back at the feeling of Jungkook’s lips circling your clit.

You bucked your hips at the feeling of his tongue sloppily gliding against your folds. Your fingers found themselves tangled in Jungkook’s dark and messy locks. He praised you.

Small grunts and low moans were felt against your warm cunt, “such a pretty pussy,” he mumbled to himself against you. You clenched around nothing at the compliment.

“Feels so good,” you cooed, “yeah?” small licks turned into long laps, “yeah – fuck, don’t stop.” Stopping was the furthest thing from Jungkook’s mind.

You felt knots beginning to tie at the pit of your stomach, Jungkook could easily feel you were about to burst. The constant tugging of his hair and the pulsating cunt was all he needed, to know he was doing his job right.

“I love seeing you so needy for me,” at this point, you’re chanting his name shamelessly. It isn’t until Jungkook adds a finger lamely circling your clit that you feel you’re about to snap. The familiar ache between your legs became almost unbearable, you threw your head back and shut your eyes.

“Eyes on me when you cum,” you obliged. Bending your head forward to watch Jungkook eat your cunt as if he hadn’t eaten in days. The view was the most sinful yet the most beautiful thing you’d ever seen. His brows are furrowed, he murmured against your warmth. You occasionally saw the tip of his nose, and when you did it was absolutely soaked in your arousal.

“Oh my fuck– Jungkook.”

It’s only when Jungkook uttered his next sentence that you felt the knot in your stomach unravel. “Fuck, baby, I could eat you out for the rest of my life,” you’re breaking apart.

Your hips surge forward, pathetically grinding on Jungkook’s face — he lets you. Helping you ride out your high, he slowly laps his tongue over your spasming pussy. He’s watching your every move, “delicious,” he smiled innocently as if his mouth wasn’t completely covered in your cum.

He stood up once again, licked his lips clean in the process and you swore you just felt something trail down your thigh. Once he was at eye-level with you, you looked down and saw the tent that has formed in his sweatpants.

Naturally, you go to grab his cock. Not wanting to waste time, you wrapped your fingers around it over the material. He visibly shuttered at the feeling, and it wasn’t until then that you realized you hadn’t touched Jungkook – at all. Not even back at the summer house.

Here you were, complaining over how selfish Jaehyun used to be whenever you two were having sex, saying he never touched you properly or showed any ounce of effort.

You weren’t any different. So far, Jungkook had only been the giver, and you had been a spoiled pillow princess.

Trailing your eyes back up to Jungkook, you watched him carefully as you curled a finger around the waistband of his sweatpants and boxers simultaneously, dragging the unnecessary material down his legs.

His cock sprung up, hitting his stomach. The tip was red and hot, several drops of precum dripped down the angry shaft. He was impossibly hard and you began to feel guilt overcome you for having been so selfish with pleasure. Determined to make it up to him, you placed all five tips of your fingers at the very apex of his cock, sliding down until your palm comes in contact with the tip.

The prettiest whine you’d ever heard rolled off of Jungkook’s lips, he watched you attentively, “y-you don’t have to–“ you shushed him, “I want to.”

You twist your wrist and positioned your fingers around his dick. Using your thumb to spread the precum, you lightly brush his frenulum in which he grunts, “fuck, babyyy,” unintentionally thrusting up into your hand.

You squeezed harder and began to pump his cock. The surprising rotation of your wrist was enough to have him slap both hands on either side of the desk, completely trapping you.

“Faster,” he pleads, “go faster,” and you do. His head drops down to your shoulder. He tried to distract himself by sucking another bruise onto the skin of your neck, but it was completely hopeless with the pace your hand was pumping.

Rhythmically, he was subtly thrusting his hips into your hand, matching the pace. He couldn’t wait to fuck you, so for the time being, he had to fuck your hand. And God, it felt so good it was almost pathetic how much a handjob could rile him up.

You felt his hips stutter, and now it was his turn to chant your name. You placed a soothing kiss on the expanse of his shoulder, “Mmm gonna – haah, shit,” You hurriedly pushed him back gently and dropped to your knees. “What are you – Fuck!”

Most of his length is now shoved down as much as your gag reflex allows, and it isn’t until you have Jungkook’s cock halfway down your throat that you realize how fucking impressive his size is. The thought of having him stretch you out with his girth is enough to make you wet all over again.

Jungkook can’t resist collecting your strands of hair up into a ponytail and piston into your mouth, “s-sorry, I’m sorry,” strings of apologies are heard throughout the room, along with the sound of you choking. Your eyes begin to sting, fresh tears falling down the side of your cheek. He continues to fuck your throat, and contrary to his belief, you fucking love it.

You steady yourself by grabbing the sides of his thighs. Echoes of Jungkook’s moans and heavy sighs fill the room, alongside the sound of his cock continuously thrusting down your throat.

“so pretty, you’re s-so fucking pretty like this,” you hum at his praise, “like the feeling of my cock down your throat, huh? Dirty girl, fuck,” at this point your mascara had completely stained your cheeks.

The sight of your brows furrowed, eyes filled with tears, mascara-stained cheeks, and the absolute cherry on top: Jungkook repeatedly plunging his impossibly hard cock down your sore throat, was all it took for him to blow his load.

You’ve never heard such a moan come from Jungkook, it sounded broken and you’re certain it’s the most beautiful thing you’ll ever hear in your life. You felt the warm, white liquid coat the walls of your cheeks and throat and you made sure to swallow every single drop.

You’re stopped from licking his dick clean when Jungkook pulls you back up to meet him at eye level. He lifts you up to sit at the desk again, hands on either side of you, he looks you dead in the eye, “I want to fuck you,” he says bluntly.

Your eyes widen slightly at his directness. Confused, you look down at his dick and holy fuck – he was still incredibly hard. Seriously, this boy had some serious stamina. You assumed his extraordinary stamina must’ve developed all those years in the gym.

You felt tiny under his gaze, you meet his eyes, nonetheless.

“Come here and fuck me then.” You felt bold when a shaky breath left his mouth. He hoisted both your legs up to his waist, causing you to lean back slightly, both your hands were forced to sit behind you once again to prevent yourself from falling backwards.

Without another word, Jungkook sealed the distance between your lips with a sweet kiss.

“Ohmygod–” was all you were able to say when his cock slowly disappeared inside of you, your walls of warmth hugging his length. Once again, you had underestimated just how big Jungkook actually was. He snaked a hand to meet the small of your back to steady himself before he finally began to pull himself out, leaving his tip, only to push back in.

You whined at the delicious stretch. Setting a fixed pace, Jungkook repeatedly thrusted into you, while his lips were busy on yours. You wrapped both arms around his neck, tangling your fingers in the hairs of his nape. “Mmm fuck,” he moaned deliciously against your lips.

“Feels good?” he asked, parting your lips with a soft chu. You nodded; your eyelids lazily drooped over your orbs; eyebrows scrunched together at the feeling of his tip kissing your cervix. He felt so good.

“Say it,” he rasped, “tell me how good it feels,” his thrusts grew harder, “tell me how good I’m fucking this pretty pussy. My pussy,” his pussy, yes, it was his.

You cried at the claim. “It feels so good Guk – fuck I love when you fuck me like this.”

He pounded harder, as if he was trying to punctuate something. Both your breaths quickened, equally as eager to chase your own high as you were each other’s. Pushing his chests flush against yours, he leaned his forehead against yours, neither of you broke eye contact.

“L-love you,” he cried. “I love you.”

It felt as if all the air in your lungs was punched out of you, you couldn’t pinpoint whether it was Jungkook’s hips thrusting into yours unforgivingly, or if it was the fact that the boy you basically watched grow up happened to be the same person you’ve liked since middle-school, standing in front of you, telling you he loves you.

You lied to yourself, you genuinely thought whatever strong feeling you felt for Jungkook had died down, that you had truly moved on. You even got a boyfriend and all that.

But it wasn’t until you heard Jungkook utter those three words that you realized they never went away, no – you had hidden those feelings away in a box and chained several chains around it to keep them suppressed.

You loved him too, of course you did. You never stopped loving him for fucks sake. It pains you to think about how much crap both of you were put through for you to realize this.

“I love you.”

12-year-old Y/N was applauding and smiling like crazy; you finally said it. The love you had carried for Jungkook in your poor overwhelmed heart was finally spilled all over the table.

Jungkook’s hips stuttered at your reciprocating words. He hadn’t expected you to say it back, but for the love of all that is holy; he loved hearing you say it, it sounded so pretty coming from you. “Say it again,” he was now smiling, and you couldn’t help but smile back at him.

His eyes were glowing, so of course you had to say it again, “I love you. Fuck – I always have.”

“Again.”

“Jeon Jungkook,” completely out of breath, you caressed the side of his cheek, watching as his eyes teared up once again. He only fastened his pace, if that was even humanly possible. Lovingly, you ran your thumb across the scar that laid right on his cheek, “I am in love with you.”

That being said – Jungkook exploded, with you following right after him. You were holding on to each other for dear life, with slow pumps to help ride out your highs. Your eyes rolled to the back of your head, at your final clench.

Small strings of I love you’s were heard from Jungkook who was breathlessly panting into your neck. He kissed your temple, guiding a small string of hair behind your ear.

“You know,” he started, “I’ve been in love with you since freshman year of high school,” he smiled adoringly at you, “the first day we had a biology class, I saw you slip a note into my locker that read ‘if I could be a nitrogen base, I’d be adenine so I could be paired with U.’ and there was a small purple bellflower taped to the corner of the paper. You’ve had my heart ever since that day.”

Your eyes widened, physically cringing at yourself in your teenage years, “I can’t believe you knew it was me, and really? That’s what it took for you to like me back?” You giggled, “you can’t blame me, you were, and still are, extremely adorable.” He shrugged his shoulders. You gently pushed his shoulders, feeling your face turn red at the reminder of your rather sappy biology pick up line.

“Well, I’ve loved you since middle school. I win this one, Jeon.”

Saturday 02:57AM

“What’s taking so long, Y/N should be back by now,” Jin winced, eyeing the small watch on his wrist.

Taehyung and Mina looked at each other, “do you think it worked?” Mina questioned, a beaming smile plastered across her face, “yup,” Taehyung crossed his arms proudly. “Operation tell-Y/N-to-get-polaroid-camera-because-Taehyung’s-too-drunk-for-his-own-good-so-that-she-could-be-trapped-in-the-same-room-as-Jungkook-and-make-up… Was a success!”

taglist: @selinashere @jjenjen @ladyartemesia @emsuzz @iamjiminsfloor @silvlyjmhwa

#jeon jungkook #bts jungkook #jeon jeongguk smut #fluff #angst #he won't know #fanfic

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