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thithesandofferings · 3 years

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“Open Wide”- Ogami Shirou x Reader

TW: 18+ MINORS DNI!! Dom!Shirou/Sub!FemReader, Comeplay, Choking, Voice Kink, Rough Sex, Praise Kink, Degradation, lil bit Size Kink SMUT!!

This is bad .

“Look at you Alan, I thought you said Purebloods didnt get Nirvalys Syndrome? Let me put in into you, before you lose your mind”

Who says stuff like that to the enemy? Ive never seen Shiro this angry before. Especially to say words like that. He barely speaks at all most days. Only when he absolutely has to. This should surprise me or- or stress me out but-

It's so hot.

Link to my Ao3 for this fic= https://archiveofourown.org/works/25414948

This is bad .

“Look at you Alan, I thought you said Purebloods didnt get Nirvalys Syndrome? Let me put it into you, before you lose your mind”

Who says stuff like that to the enemy? Ive never seen Shirou this angry before. Especially to say words such as that. He barely speaks at all most days. Only when he has to. This should surprise me or- or stress me out but-

It's so hot.

“Hey you! Look alive we gotta go!” Michiru yelled, startling me out of a downward spiral.

She was right. I had to get out of there before the place was destroyed to shreds. I could barely think. All I could think about was Shirou splitting that evil bastard's mouth open and putting his power inside it.

I couldnt help but feel jealous.

His wolf had such a presence on its own, how could I not be affected.

I needed to get it together, there were still people that needed to be saved. I shook my head and ran after Michiru towards Shirou. She was chattering excitedly, but I honestly couldnt understand anything she was saying. My eyes were on him.

He must’ve caught something in my gaze because he turned his attention to me.

“You okay?” His voice was gruff from exertion and I had to take a calming breath from the shiver that coursed down my spine. He caught that too.

“I should be asking you that Shirou” I looked away, but with a sideways glance I grumbled that he was, in fact, amazing. He raised his nose a notch, almost an afterthought, and I could see him take a deep breath.

With his penetrating gaze solely on mine, I could feel my pulse jump and my temperature rack up a thousand degrees, I had to look away. He scoffed, almost smugly, and slid attention back to Michiru, who was still talking and running around. Something about having Shirou howl to the town.

We watched as he changed into his silver wolf form again to howl into the microphone. It was a beautiful site to see. Seeing all the animals completely stop what they were doing just to howl with him. Alan had no idea what he had been talking about.

Shirou had the Howl.

Michiro and I could only watch in awe. We were born human turned animals so we didnt have the innate instinct to go along with him. It was such an eye-opening experience, so much so that I felt a little empty at not being able to do it. Shirou looked so regal, the urge to fall on my knees in front of him was an encompassing feeling.

Shaking violently at the thought, I had to blow out a long soul-suffering sigh. Michiru glanced with eyebrows in an “are you okay” motion and I could only just nod.

What is going on with me? Where are my thoughts?

I had hoped that thoughts of Shirou would leave. The attention was of us and finally life was, in all intensive purposes, back to normal. Michiru was able to hang out with her fellow friends, and I- was able to start my work in the office.

Except, I could get nothing done.

Shirou was constantly in my peripheral, working on whatever case was in that week. But when he wasnt there, he was in my mind whispering in his growling voice about the things he could do to me.

I was dying.

There would be times where I would stare at a research book, never turning the page, just staring. It was becoming so hectic that Shirou asked if I needed time off.

“I know its been hard for everyone” Shirou had said. He had been in that leather jacket again. Who wears gloves inside? Why was it so hot?

Its not fair.

“What's not fair?” I looked up from his gloved hands and I could feel my heart rate sky rocket in panic.

I said that out loud.

His gaze is so piercing, it felt like he was staring into my soul. He was leaning on my door frame, completely relaxed. His usual bored expression was placed with something that was almost- teasing? Not that couldnt be right.

But it had been the same expression and mood for weeks now. His casual bumps and grins were so much that Ive had to actively avoid him before I had a heart attack. I wasnt in control of my emotions half the time, so any sort of embarrassment would make me change into my animal form. Even through his cold demeanor, it still seemed like he was laughing at me. I'm sure he could tell that I was flustered, especially when he turned into his wolf form. It always made my blood pressure go up and something slick slide down my thighs.

Which is what was happening now.

Oh no.

I prayed that he wouldnt notice anything amiss, but the world wasnt on my side. He lifted his nose up again and sniffed. It was as if he was trying to find someone miles away, but when he finally looked towards me, his pupils were wide open. Alert.

“You never answered my question.”

There was a hitch in my breath at that tone. That growl that Ive been dreaming about for weeks.

I’m so fucked.

“I-i uhm… sorry what?” I could feel myself blinking rapidly. I couldn’t get my thoughts in order. This was getting ridiculous.

“You humans are very odd,” Shirou rose up from the door, and for a moment I felt relief only to freeze when he closed my door.

With him still inside. We’re alone.

“You even more so.”

He walked slowly towards my desk. Well more like prowled. There was intent in his walk.

I’ve never felt more like prey than right now.

“I’ve seen the way you’ve been looking at me” He’s whispering now. His gloved fingers gently spread out to the edge of my desk and he leans over it.

He’s so close.

“I smell you all day. Its intoxicating.” One hand lifts up and brushes my cheek, I know he can feel the heat.

“You’re the first human that I have ever wanted”

I froze.

Hes been feeling the same? From his expression and the dropping of at least two octaves, it was definitely confirmed.

“I- uh I want you too” My voice was hoarse from emotion. He could hear it just fine it seemed because if his pupils werent blown out before, they sure were now.

Shirou visibly licked his lips and I couldn’t help but follow the motion. He watched me watch him and he grinned, showing his fangs in satisfaction.

“Good because I plan to devour you. Stand up”

I could barely hear the order due to his growling. His ravenous expression was drowning me. I was swimming in heat and desire.

“I wont ask again”

Shirous’ voice snapped me back into reality and with shaky sweaty palms I pushed my chair away and stood. He never told me to move so I just stayed there. He seemed very pleased that I didn’t move.

Not like I could, I was barely able to breathe.

He stalked slowly around my desk until he was behind me, moving the chair completely across the room. It crashed into a plant and I jumped, still not moving an inch.

I could feel his breath across my nape and goosebumps coursed down my skin. I could feel him smelling my hair, breathing in the sweat that I felt that I was pouring out. I tried to move away, embarrassed, but I could feel his grip tighten and him growl at my into my neck.

“Stay still” He whispered. “You can be a good girl and do that for me right?”

I froze at the pet name. I’ve never heard him call me anything other than my last name. I couldn’t believe how it affected at me. I could feel myself become even more drenched.

He could tell.

“Oh? You like that huh?”

I felt his leathered hands slide slowly underneath my shirt and palm my breast. I gasped, my head falling on his shoulder at the groping. This was getting intense fast. I heard something tearing and tried to glance down only to have one of his hands press lightly at my neck. Holding me still.

Shirou shushed me, keeping his hand curled around my throat. Murmuring something about not needing this or that, I felt fabric fall at my feet and my chest became covered in hot leather. I let out a choked moan, only to have his grip tightened.

“You’re gonna have to be a quiet pup, you don't want all your colleagues to know what you're doing right?” He was so mocking, I couldnt help but feel flustered with how demeaning he sounded.

I nodded knowing I couldnt say anything in this position.

“Thats right, good girl, now go on bend over the desk” He slipped his hands away and disorientation readily slid back into my head.

I laid over my desk, paper be damned, and wrapped my hands over the edge to hold on. I heard him growl in confirmation at the act and I preened at the act of pleasing him.

I’ve never felt this way. I was completely ok with him taking the reigns. I didnt have many braincells left, I could barely think. All I could do was just do.

Shirou hands caressed my ass in appreciation, his ungloved hand (when had that happened?) made a purposeful track up to my waistband, hastily taking them off. I was completely soaked and hearing him swear obscenities definitely didnt help.

“I can’t wait to knot you, pup” I felt his weight against me, his bare chest completely covering my whole body. He was so warm, degrees hotter than his normal, his breath hot on my cheek as he licked my face from chin to forehead.

“The real question is,” he says through licks down my spine. “Which form do I want to take you hm?” I shivered violently at the thought of Shirou taking me in my wolf form. Outside of Anima city it is forbidden to have any of those kind of thoughts. But you couldnt help that you constantly thought about Shirou fucking you in his wolf form.

I could hear his deep chuckle at my spine. He knew my answer.

I felt him nose my wetness and my breath hitches. It didnt last for more than 5 seconds and I could hear myself grown out against the desk.

“I would love to taste you, but unfortunately we dont have that kind of time.” There was a zipping noise and I tensed, gushing even more at the thought of what it could be.

“I would need hours to be satisfied from your taste” He is suddenly in my ear. “But I plan to fuck you like you need it.”

I could hear myself mewling at the thought. I’ve been wanting this for weeks. I cant believe someone like Shirou even wants to touch me. Shirou, cool-mannered and distant, wants to fuck me five ways to Sunday is honeslty an eye opening experience.

There is a clicking sound and I gasped. I was so absorbed in my thoughts that I didnt feel the fingers. I could feel myself clenching around and my mewling became even louder. Colleagues be damned.

There was an surprised hum from behind me.

“You’ve been touching yourself?” All I could do was nod embarrassed. He cooed sweetly and added 3 fingers inside of me.

“What were you thinking about? Were you thinking of me? Tell me” I gasped in affirmations. I couldnt take it anymore. I needed inside of me now.

I felt like I was going to die.

“P-please Shiro, I need it.”

“You need what pup?” He grinned savagely and I felt something hard and hot against me.

I wiggled in frustration. Only to have him laugh and hold my hips still. Using his strength to make me stay still.

I was going to have bruises.

“Please fuck me Shirou” I whispered into my shoulder. I knew he could hear me. I felt my chest tighten at the gasp and growl.

“Good girl.” I shivered and gasped as he pushed the head in with a savage force of his hips.

“I wont hold back pup” He laid his furry chest against my back “You might be ruined for any one else.”

“I dont want you to Shirou, give me your all”

A growl was heard and then the most intense feeling of my life was radiating through my whole body.

He thrusted so hard that I could hear the desk screeching. The other colleagues, if they were still there, would definitely hear it. I prayed that they weren’t gonna check to see if I was okay. I wouldnt be able to speak anyways. I’m pretty much holding on dear life on the desk. There was no way I was able to explain anything.

Shirou didn’t seem to care either. The constant growling and heavy breathing that was coming from him was telling.

“Youre so tight, I cant believe all of me fit inside of you” He groaned and all I could do was tighten around him, which made him go even faster. There was a crack from the desk, but I ignored it. All I could concentrate on was the heat and his cock bruising my insides.

“Mine mine mine MINE” He stopped abruptly and pulled out. Only to pick me up effortlessly and turn me around, my back hitting the desk.

He entered me again and with that the world was crashing around me. I’d never come so fast in my life. Watching him in his wolf form growl over me as he pounded me into the afterlife, I wasnt gonna last long.

Seemed like he wasnt either, his thrust got more savage and I got louder. He took his right hand and placed it at my throat again to cut off the noise.

“Be quiet while I shove my knot inside you, I need to concentrate” It made me fall again, shivering while he grinded his knot inside me. He came with a roar, tightening his hands on my throat, cutting off my sound.

“Shhhh, good girl, you did so good” He whispered praises to me while he continued to grind himself inside me. He lifted his hand and I gasped dazed.

He looked up at me and caught my disheveled appearance and grinned.

“Dont move, I’m not done.”

I returned the grin.

“Good Shirou, cause neither am I”

#brand new animal #bna #shirou ogami #shirou ogami x reader #bna headcanons #bna drabble #i just live for this

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nerdydekusimp · 2 years

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Chapter 1. staircase.

TW: Bullying/ a little violence.

Fluff/ Hurt Comfort

Middle school Midoriya x reader

You smile as you reach your favorite place in town, it was an old staircase that leads to the street below, it wasn’t much but it was YOUR secret place, so imagine your surprise when you saw a green haired boy sitting at the bottom of the stairs.

You huffed, what was he doing here?

You begin to walk down the steps to confront him... but you stopped when you heard... crying?

He was crying, that explains why he’s here, he wanted a private place to let his emotions out, so you stopped 3 steps before him and sat down, you didn’t say anything to him, it wasn’t any of your business why he was crying anyway... right?

You take another look at him, he wore a middle school uniform and sat hugging his big yellow backpack sobbing into it, you had to admit you felt bad for just sitting there and watching him cry so you spoke, “hey are you okay?” wow what a question, of course he’s not okay, he wouldn’t be crying if he was.

The boy shot up his heaad and turned to look at you, that’s when you saw him probably, he had beautiful green eyes matching his green curls and freckles dotting his tear stained face.

“H-huh. Oh hey, yeah I’m fine” he spoke, he had a cute voice to.

“Um no you’re not” you pointed to his tearful face.

The boy sighed “you don’t need to worry about me”.

You pout “are you hurt?”

“N-no. Please you don’t need to pretend you care”.

What’s wrong with this kid? “I do care kid, it’s kinda what I do, I care about people, I go to UA, so caring is what I do” you say.

This made the boy look back up at you, “you go to UA?”

You nod “yep I’m training to be a hero”.

You look back down at the boy, he stopped crying, that’s good and he looked interested in the fact that you went to UA so... “you want to know a little about it”.

The boy let out a tiny gasp and nodded, “well come up here and I’ll tell you” you pat the place next to you.

At first he hesitated but he took in a breath and sat down.

“What’s it like?” he asked.

“Well it’s really fun. But there’s a lot of hard work”.

The boy nodded, wow, he was actually listening, so you continued “there’s alot of people with amazing quirks, a bunch of training grounds, cool teachers, bonus, they’re also pro heros”

As you explained your favorite parts of your school, his entire mood changed, his eyes were no longer spilling tears and his face began to dry.

“Whats your quirk” his voice rang out once you stopped.

“Oh my quirk? It’s nothing special” you scratch the back of your neck.

“Oh it must be if you got into UA”

You smile “Okay, well....” you stand up and stretch out your arms and roll up your sleeve of your uniform.

Then spikes began to grow out of your arms, “I can make these spikes grow out of my body, I also can make them any size I want, well as long as half my arm anyway and I can also shoot them at stuff” you turn your arm and shoot one of the spikes at a trash can, making it fall over spilling out the trash.

“Thats amazing” the boy gasped, you smiled “thanks, well I hope the owners of that trash can don’t mind there being a hole in it” you laugh.

The boy let out a little chuckle “Yeah me too”.

“So how about you?” you sit back down.

“Huh?”

“What’s your quirk?”

The boy’s eye’s widened and he shrunk back into himself “Oh, I-I-“

“You what?” you lean in closer to him, tears began to form in his eye’s again.

Your heart sinks “Oh did I say something wrong? I’m sorry”.

“Oh n-nothing its that”-

“Oi deku”!

Who said that?

You look up to see a blonde boy, he looked no older than the boy next to you, his eyes were a crimson red and a smirk that made your skin crawl, the two other boys didn’t set off a good impression either.

“Did I say you could leave?” he walked closer to you two.

“K- Kacchan, n-no I-I” the green haired boy stuttered on his words.

“Hey Bakugou careful. You might make him cry again” one of the other boys laughed.

“I don’t care, we were in the middle of a conversation and DEKU here ran off” the blonde put a hand on the greennet’s shoulder, you swore you saw smoke coming from there, was that the blonde’s quirk?

“L-look Kacchan you had your fun, pl-please leave me alone”.

The blonde narrowed his eyes before picking up the boy by his collar and slamming him back down on the steps, making him whimper in pain “Did I say you could talk back?”

Okay you had enough “Hey knock it off” you stood up and got in between the boys.

“Huh, who the hell are you?” the blonde stumbled back.

“It doesn’t matter to you. Leave this kid alone” you cross your arms.

The blonde was visually confused but his confusion was replaced with a laugh, followed by his friends.

“Hey deku. Is this your lover or something” he scoffed.

Deku, at least that’s what this boy called him.... you doubt that’s his real name, curled into him self.

“No I just met them I-“

“Wow who thought, deku, the quirkless wonder, would get a lover”

Quirkless?

“Th-thier not.. I-I” the smaller boy was so scared of this other one that he can barely talk.

You look at him, he clearly didn’t lke the presence of the blonde “hey if you like him, just let me tell you he’s nothing but a disappointment” one of the blonde’s goons spoke up.

“Hey, look i don’t know you, or him, but no one here is a disappointment” you say.

The three other boys begin to laugh “wow deku you really hooked a good one, huh?” another boy, whose quirk seemed to stretch his fingers, stepped up.

“Hey we just met and he did not hook me up” you quote using your fingers.

“Well he may have not done that, but you clearly like deku” the blonde spoke again.

“Stop calling him deku! What does that even mean?”

“U-useless” you look back at the green haired boy.

“huh?”

“Yeah tell them, tell them what a useless, quirkless little DEKU you are” the blonde yelled.

The boy looked down at his feet and let out a small sigh.

You narrow your eyes, “Would you mind going away you’re making him sad”.

The three boys began to laugh again, this was starting to piss you off.

“Oh is the crybaby deku gonna”-

A fist collided with the weird boy with the finger quirk making him fall, face first, on the pavement.

There was a sudden silence, it was so quite that you could hear the cars drive in the distance.

“It’s jerks like you that makes me want to be a hero” you point at the boy on the ground, “Making someone feel bad just because they’re different”

“What the hell? You’re insane” the blonde yelled.

“Shut up blondey- what’s your name anyway?”

“Bakugou...”

“Well Bakugou, I bet you want to go to UA and be a hero right?”

“Yeah, so what?”

“Well I go to UA and let me tell you.... with that atitude... you’ll never get in or become a hero”.

Bakugou grit his teeth, “What makes you think that i care about what you think?”

“It’s not what i think, it’s what I know”.

You step up to him, almost like a larger animal asserting dominance, it was easy since you were on a higher step than him.

He clicked his tongue “Well let’s see about that huh? Hey get up we’re leaving” he motioned to the other boy who was still on the ground.

The trio of boys walk of leaving you and the green haired boy alone... FINALLY!

“Hey are you okay?” you sit back next to him.

“Y-yeah. That was really brave, thank you” he gave a little smile.

Cute!

“Do they usually pick on you like that?”

“Y-yeah. But I’ve gotten used to it and besides I’m the one who wants to be a hero without a quirk”.

You blink, this kid has big dreams “Well I hope to see you at UA in the future”.

His eyes widened and he gasped ,”you really think I can be a hero without a quirk?”

“Well if i was in danger and had the chance to choose who saved me, I’ll rather run to you than that jerk”.

There was a sparkle in the boys eyes that you found absolutely beautiful.

“Hey. You know, we’ve been here this entire time... we don’t even know each others name”

He was right you were so focused on not pummeling that blonde basterd that you forgot to ask his name..

“I’m L/N Y/N”.

“Midoriya Izuku”

You hum “Well it’s really nice to meet you Midoriya”.

“It’s really nice to meet you to L/N”.Middle

#izuku midoria x reader #Middle school deku x reader #deku x y/n #deku x gn!reader #bnha x gender neutral reader #midoriya x reader #anime

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inoxske · 3 years

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a few my hero academia headcanons (mostly kirishima, kiribaku, and bakusquad) (3rd year)

kirishimas laugh is a very wonderful sound that everyone fucking adores, so lots of people think hes flirting because he laughs a lot but he isnt lol

i believe all the bakusquad can sing but their all shy so they pretend to be really bad but theyre all closeted theater kids so when 'the room where it happened' from Hamilton played one night at karaoke night they all sang and hamonized and everyone freaked the fuck out

bakugo and denki cross dress because it makes them feel powerful and they are often seen in fashion magazines and shit

kirishima is best friends with bakugos parents and all of katsukis family adore eijirou

bakugo cries the second any kind of animal or child is hurt in movies

adding onto that ^ bakugo loves kids, more so as he gets older

kirishima will go to interviews for really important people, but because of his adhd he forgets important shit so he has to call bakugo while in the interview and ask and they always keep the clip because he always puts him on speaker

kirishima will put on classical music but like really nice music and dance with people in the dorms. hes danced with all the girls, and was caught slowdancing with katsuki once at like 3am on a saturday (aizawa cried like a little bitch)

all of 1a calls aizawa dadzawa by the time 2nd year rolls around. like, if someone calls him aizawa now he thinks hes in trouble or someone died or some shit.

kirishima can handle any kind of spice because one of his mamas is half latino and so he basically grew up with lots of spice. bakugo challenged him to a spicey wing eating thing and they ended up having to stop because bakugo ran out and threw uP BC HE WASNT GONNA LOSE OKAY

kirishima will escort young ladies home if they feel unsafe, or he will just scare the shit out of men who harass anyone

sero becomes super fucking popular with ladies like everyone thinks hes hot and he doesnt know why but like- BITCH- ..... he is so fine, next

bakugo and midoriya go to therapy together and work shit out. kirishima ends up having to go with bakugo to therapy a lot bc he says he gives him the courage to open up and not feel weak 🤨..... idk sounds kinda gay to me

a majority of class A has a mission near an animal shelter, and damage is done to the shelter and a really dangerous aggressive dog starts running at mina and bro this dog- this dog is fucking BIG like wolf big and out for BLOOD and is so loud and kiri, ya know, grew since first year and is now like a tank like 6"7 and 300 pounds of muscle and so he gets infront of mina and just goes "HEY!" in a really fucking deep like angry as shit voice and makes himself big and the bear of a dog immediately flinches and runs back into its kennel. and everyone kind of freezes and looks at him, and hes like "jeez, i didnt mean to be so loud" and bakugos like "oh no that was the hottest thing ive ever seen in my life" anyways

bakugo can cook, kirishima can bake

bakugo gets super bad sensory overload sometimes when hes had an especially bad experience with a quirk or something and will have meltdowns about his clothing or how sweaty he is, or how loud his quirk is and how bright it is and kirishima will help him. when it first happened everyone handled it really well, and turned off the lights, and momo made him a weighted blanket and noisecancelling shit and kirishima put his head on his chest to help him match his breathing and shit. v wholesome.

kirishima and bakugo got in a super big fight near the beginning of second year when bakugo was in a bad mood and called him weak again and kirishima blew up on him and told him how he wasnt gonna let katsuki walk all over him just because he feels insecure or weak or whatever and kirishima got super fucking pissed because bakugo got defensive and told him he shouldnt take it so seriously and that it was true and he needs to get stronger and kirishima was like fuck you, at least i admit i have some weaknesses to overcome, and some things that need to be fixed, and they were both hurt and shit but bakugo wouldnt apologize so he stopped talking to him for a while. and then kirishima kept teaming up with midoriya and working together and bakugo confronted him and was obviously trying not to cry and apologized and shit

^ adding onto that. kirishima is equals with bakugo, and will always be equals with bakugo. he never ever comes back crying first, and he always leaves bakugo alone until he apologizes. thats called being partners bitch, and bakugo tries his best. they barely ever argue, unless its about mac and cheese or some shit

kirishima loves calling bakugo pet names, and bakugo will absolutely never admit to anyone it makes him feel like the strongest person alive, but he will to kirishima

kirishima called bakugo "puppy" once while he was sleepy and bakugo broke down crying because he didnt know why it made him feel so nice. kirishima felt horrible. they werent even dating yet 💀

when minas bored she'll teach one of the boys a dance and make a tiktok with them. bakugo is surprising good at dancing.

bakugo, kaminari, and kirishima are the absolutely fucking hilarious when left alone together.

bakugo is super innocent so everyone will ask him random questions at the most random times just to see his whole body blush red and he turns into a grandma, like "bakugo how do lesbians have sex" and hes like "WH- WHAT THE- EW!!! GROSS I DONT KNOW! WHY WOULD YOU ASK ME THAT!!! YUCKY!!!"

bakugo has to have braces for a year and then wears a retainer and kirishima likes it alittle too much while everyone else thinks he looks fucking stupid

denki will go wake up aizawa and sleep in his bed when he gets sick or has a nightmere. present mic will make denki breakfast if he comes to the dorms to find his spot taken.

mina and bakugo are barbz, and so is kirishima just much more on the DL.

kirishima and bakugo can talk telepathically by the time they get to 3rd year, so they always make up the best excuses. also they have really weird nicknames that only they get. kirishima did make the mistake of joking around and saying he wants to be called big daddy boss man and bakugo wouldnt cook for him until he had a written apology.

bakugo really loves cuddling but doesnt know how to ask for it so he just acts like a cat and headbuts kiri and sits on him angrily until he gets the message.

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julie-thefatones · 3 years

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Ghost of You || Luke x Reader || Part 2

Hello Everyone! Welcome to part 2 of my First FanFic...... If you would like to Read Part 1 click here 💜 But thank you so much to everyone who liked and read the first part... I hope you all like the second part just as much! Okaaaaayyyyyy im gonna go work on Part 3! thank you guys bye :) (Updated- Part three now posted here)

A/N: Your best friends with Julie, since the stamp was removed from the boys they are able to be seen by lifers at choice and can touch lifers at choice, but are still ghosts. You and Luke grow closer and closer starting to go from friends to more than that and everyone starts to notice, it just takes a little longer for you two to figure it out.

WordCount: 3,316

As you and Luke made your way back to the High School you guys didn't say a word, both of you not really understanding what just happened back at your spot by the lake, You were so confused, because Luke is just a friend, and he's your best friends band mate.... which made it even more complicated with the feelings you were currently feeling.... whatever happened back there felt more than just friendship, You shake your head to get that thought out of it, *no* you thought to your self *Luke is just a friend* you could only imagine what was going on in Lukes mind right now, what was he thinking, you thought, looking down at yours and Lukes hands entwined with one another's..... he probably doesn't think anything, you looked up at his face and then turned away the second you saw him start to look at you back. *What is he thinking about!* you thought to your self, you cant help but feel frustrated, Luke must have felt your frustration because you felt his hand tighten around yours "Hey, Y/N.... are you okay?" Luke asked you with real concern in his voice, You look back at him, widening your eyes "Me? oh yeah! just thinking about what I missed in algebra today... Mr. Berty is gonna be Pissed" You said with a nervous chuckle, Luke chuckled along with you " Well, just tell him an emergency came up!! like ya girly thing came" Luke said smiling at you, and you laughed "My girly thing? You mean my period?" You said nudging his shoulder with yours, teasing him, he scrunched his whole face "ahaha yeah! I just always feel so weird saying it" he said still scrunching his face, and you both laugh while simultaneously inching a little closer together as you walked.

As you approached the school, you looked at Luke and saw his eyes get bigger with excitement, confused you looked in the direction he was looking at, you looked all around, still confused and then looked back at Luke "Luke? why are you so excited right now?" you asked him with a slight chuckle, you just couldn't help but laugh with how cute his face was, how excited he was, he then looked at you "Y/N, do you see what I see?" he said with so much excitement, motioning towards the direction of the school, and you look over still not seeing anything, and looking back at Luke "No, I really don't" you responded, he then rolled his eyes, and nudged your shoulder "The gym door is open" he said excited, and the motioning over to the field where there were a bunch of student playing soccer "They are all at practice, which means!..." Luke continued, his eyes widening and motioning them back and forth from you to the door, you, still slightly confused to why he was so excited "What? we should sign up for soccer, because im not very good at it.... you might be good at it!! are you good at it?" You replied, now wondering if he was good at soccer, causing a confused look on your face, Luke rolled his eyes again "Yes I am good at it, but thats not the point! the point is!! EMPTY GYM!!!" he said so excited, he hopped forward dragging you along with him running towards the door "Luke! why is an empty gym so exciting?" you asked while running, as you approached door you out of breath and him being totally fine since he's dead, He continued to smile, and dragged you through the doors "Because Y/N! its an empty gym!" He laughed causing a slight echo "You can do all kinds of stuff... like this!" he said looking at you with a flirtatious glance and then did the most effortless body roll you ever seen anyone do ever! you majorly impressed by Luke and his skills, also notice your heart beating a million miles a minute... but you just let it slide.... it didnt mean anything, you just got done running across a field which is longer than you have ran since you had to do the pacer test in middle school. You looked at Luke and smiled and then clapped your hands slowly together "Wow I was almost impressed Patterson!" you said with sarcasm in you voice, just to tease him a little because you were very impressed, did his arms look more muscular than before? you thought to your self looking at his arms through his sleeveless Rush tee, Luke laughed cutting you off mid thought "Almost impressed? C'mon! you were so impressed by the way your mouth was hanging wide open Y/L/N" He said moving closer to you, until before you knew it he had you in his arms swinging you around, both of you laughing "Luke!!!! put me down you dork!" you laughed, he didnt listen instead he swung you over his shoulder "Not until you admit you were impressed!" he said in a teasing tone, and you knew he wouldn't let you down until you admitted it, but you also were not one to give in so easily "Never!!!" You screamed causing Luke to laugh creating the biggest smile on his face "Alright then! I guess we are going to be here for a while Y/N" Luke said confidently causing you to smile because you didnt mind the thought actually, but he doesn't have to know that "I guess we are Patterson" you replied in the most confident voice you could manage trying not to laugh, just hanging upside from his shoulder.

15 minutes or so had passed and you were still hanging from Luke shoulder in the Gym, except now you two were hiding in the corner because the gym class came back in. You looking at your phone, and whispering to Luke "Hey! there's a 5:00 showing of that movie, you still wanna go" you could feel his little bounce of excitement "Yes!" he whispered back "you even need to ask! is it just gonna be me and you or did you wanna invite the whole gang" he whispered, you sat there thinking for a minute, you would love to just have it be you and Luke but you also don't want to cause any rifts with Julie, she is your best friend after all and she has been wanting to see this movie for a while, its all she talked about for a week straight "we better invite everyone, we don't want them to think we don't care about them" you whispered, you could feel the sudden shift in Lukes mood, *was he disappointed?* you wondered to yourself "Yeah your right... ill tell the boys" he whispered, you could feel him playing with your shoe laces on your shoes, just twiddling them around in his fingers "Hey Y/N, we should sit next to each other though, ya know just because then we can make fun of it, in case it turns out bad" he whispered with a nervous type of laughter, causing you to smile, you whispered a chuckle, slapping his butt in a rhythm to your words "Of course you dork! duh" you whispered, you felt him bounce in excitement again, then rubbing your calf "Y/N, has the blood started rushing to your head yet?" he whispered to you with a teasing tone causing you to roll your eyes, the blood rushed to your head a while ago but you weren't gonna let that cause you to loose, so you slapped his butt once more "No! you might as well give up Patterson" you whispered with same kind of teasing tone, Luke now slapping your butt in a playful response "Never!" he whispered.

You and Luke had spent around 30 minutes just hiding in the gym with you slung over his shoulder, until Luke finally put you down in defeat. Now you were walking to Julies house with her now that school was over "Where were you most the day today Y/N?" Julie asked you truly confused, *oh crap* you thought to yourself, how are you going to explain your self... you don't want to admit you were hanging out with Luke all day but you also don't want to lie to your best friend, shifting your eyes from your nervous twiddling hands to your best friends confused face "Well, ya know here and there" you replied hoping that would be it and you both would move onto a different subject, Julie laughed "Okay! what are you hiding from me girl! you know you cant keep a secret from me ... now spill" she said but now with excitement and intrigue as to where you were.... *oh just tell her!* you thought to your self "Alright!!! I was hanging out with Luke" You laughed, now super nervous to your best friends response to you getting so close to her band mate, it also felt really nice to get that off your chest "Really?" Julie laughed "What did you guys do all day?" She asked, still laughing, your eyes widening with relief that she wasn't freaking out "Oh, we hung out in the gym, I was trying to win a bet, which I did!" you laughed, with a confident voice feeling proud of your self for the victory, Julie laughed with you "Oh! at 5:00 we are all gonna go see that movie you have been dying to see! you wanna come?" you asked Julie with excitement, Julie laughed "Duh!!!! im there" she said punching your arm playfully.

You and Julie got to the movies a little earlier then the rest of the gang to get the tickets and get in line for snacks, soon Flynn came in and joined you guys in line "Hey girls!!" She said with her usual Flynn excitement and flare "Hey Flynn!" Julie said with a smile and a fist bump, you smiled too "hey girl!" you said giving her a small hug "Where are the guys?" Flynn asked looking around noticing you and Julie were standing in line alone "Oh they should be here any minute" Julie said casually, her being used to them showing up late to places...

As you guys guys waited You just fiddled with a stuffed animal that was for sale sitting on one of the shelves that they have by the line area, enticing people to shop while they wait.. it was just a small stuffed animal, a panda in fact, holding a little heart that said the words I adore you you kind of smiled at it, due to how cute it was, just spacing off playing with its ears while Julie and Flynn went on about something that Nick did in Biology class due to Julies huge crush on him. You felt a brush of air sweep behind you and then "What you doing!" whispered in your ear from behind scaring the crap out of you causing you to drop the Panda, turning and punching the the thing that scared you right in the arm, wasn't long until you noticed it was Luke, who was now holding his arm "Ouch! thats the kind of welcome I get Y/N!" he said teasingly, still holding his arm "You know this is the second time you have punched me today, im starting to think you don't like me or something.... that hurts" he said now smirking with the same teasing tone, you guys locked eyes, you were trying to find the right words to say but were struggling, getting lost in his green eyes, but then found your way back as he looked down at the ground at your now dropped panda "Is this your little guy" Luke says picking the panda off the ground and messing with the ears the same way you were "Its cute!" he said smiling and now motioning it toward you moving its limbs like it was alive, you smiled and pushed the panda down in a playful way in order to see Lukes face "No, its not my panda! he is cute though" you laughed, Luke smiled at you and then looked down at the panda in his hands "So you do think he is cute? well at least I know your type now! a little odd but alright" he said still teasing you, causing you to roll your eyes "Do you want me to punch you again" you said now teasing him "Hey Y/N! Luke! can you guys stop flirting for 5 seconds so we can order our food and go, the movie is gonna start in like 10 minutes" Alex yelled over to us from the front of the snack bar with Julie and Flynn. You turn to Luke and see his face turn a certain shade of red "Dude, we are not flirting! excuse me for being social" Luke laughed while skipping forward, but grabbing your hand to come along with him, Alex rolled his eyes "Yeah, okay! whatever you say pal" Alex said sarcastically patting Luke on his shoulder, You looked around "Where is Reggie?" You asked confused to where he was, Alex nodded his head in the direction of the arcade where Reggie had his head resting on the glass of a claw machine in defeat, using his pointer finger to caress the glass next to the toy he wanted, you and Luke shared a look and laughed in reaction to him "Hey Reg! buddy! its okay, we can try again after the movie!" Luke yelled to Reggie causing Reggie to sigh and look at the toy "Ill be back for you little buddy" Reggie whispered to the toy, causing us all to burst into laughter, in that moment you noticed, just like earlier today... Luke never let go of your hand after dragging you with him, right now you both were holding hands.... your eyes widened.... *me and Luke are holding hands* you thought to your self *Doesnt mean anything! nope* you said to yourself looking down at your hands intertwined with one another, Luke must have felt your wandering eyes because in that moment he squeezed your hand tighter.

As you sat in the movie next to Luke as planned before in the gym you kept looking down at your hand which was still holding Lukes like it was so natural to him, the way your fingers were interlocked with his and how his thumb just subtly massaged the outer part of your thumb.... it felt nice... you glanced up at Lukes face as he was watching the movie, you never noticed how beautiful his smile was, like this dude had a seriously amazingly beautiful smile, you just sat there looking at him laugh at the movie.... he must had felt your stare because in that moment he looked over at you, still not dropping his smile, in fact it grew bigger than before but with a softer touch, he leaned in next your ear "What? is there something on my face?" he whispered, while taking his free hand wiping his mouth, you just chuckled "oh yeah!! there is, its a mess oh my gosh" you whispered back in a teasing tone, putting your hand on his cheek as if to wipe something, and then you looked him straight in the eyes with a smirk "Oh no, that was just your face, my bad" you whispered with the same teasing tone, as Lukes smile turned into a gasp, that was some how still a smile "Ouch, that hurt Y/L/N it really did" he whispered with a slight chuckle, you laughed in a whisper "Uh huh sure it did" you whispered while softly tapping his face, like a small slap before removing your hand from his face, in that moment he squeezed your had tighter again, but this time as if he was happy he still had your other hand..... *That doesn't mean anything, its all in good fun!* you thought to your self..... you looked over to your left at your best friend who was watching the movie, you don't know why but you felt slightly relieved she didnt really notice the interaction you and Luke just shared, until she leaned over to your ear with a handful of popcorn "What was that?" she whispered with a slight laugh, you looked at her with a shy smile, "What was what?" you whispered back, trying to avoid the topic, because you and Luke were just friends and you knew she was gonna ask If it was something more "Is there something going on between you and Luke?" she whispered, but this time in serious tone due to actual sincere curiosity "What do you mean by something going on? I mean we hang out alot" you whispered back, telling the whole truth, thats all it was after all, Julie looks at you and tilts her head with wide eyes as if she were saying really and then motioned her eyes over to yours and Lukes hands that were still tangled together, in which you looked at too and looked back in a swift movement "Oh, thats nothing, we just do that! I don't know why... we just do" you whispered, in a slightly rushed nervous tone, because you really didnt know how to explain that..... you didnt even know your self, Julie raised her eyebrows "uh huh....whatever you say girl" she whispered back, you just chuckle in response not really knowing what to say, in that same moment you see Reggie and Alex passing a note down the line of seats until it reached you and on the top it read To: Y/N and Luke... Julie scrunched her eyebrows together confused, you shrug your shoulders and lean over to Luke "Hey we got a note from Reggie and Alex?" you whispered in confusion, in which Luke looks down at the note and then over to Reggie and Alex who have their eyes plastered to the screen as if they were actually paying attention to the movie, casually eating there popcorn... Luke then looks back at the note and the up at you "What do you think they want?" Luke whispered with a slight laugh, "I don't know" you whispered with a laugh, you and Luke share a look, both quickly shrugging your shoulders and opening the note both using the only free hands you have, when you get the note open Luke reads aloud still in a whisper "So when are you two gonna get a room? because ya know there are people here, Love Alex and Reggie" Luke face then went from a smile into his grumpy Luke face, which he rarely ever makes, you both just look over at Alex and Reggie again who are now looking at you both and laughing

silently to each other which causes you to chuckle as well, Luke looks at you surprised your laughing, but then softens his face at how funny you think it is, Luke starts chuckling too and then sits back in his seat continuing to watch the movie *what were Julie, Alex, and Reggie talking about though? there's absolutely nothing going on between me and Luke.... ugh at least Flynn hasn't said anything* you thought to yourself, you sit back in your seat too, now drowning in your thoughts of confusion....... *Oh boy* you thought to yourself, you then glanced at Luke who felt your look and turned to you "I know im hot Y/N, but you did pay to see the movie... you should probably Watch it instead of me" Luke Whispered to you in a teasing tone and a smirk "Oh! I also have something for you" he whispered in such a cute soft tone, it made your stomach feel weird, *what the heck was that* you thought to yourself putting your free hand on your stomach and then you knew what it was *Butterflies*

#Julie and The Phantoms #jatp #jatp fanfic #Luke Patterson Fanfic #Luke Patterson fan fiction #Luke Patterson X Reader #Luke Patterson X Y/N #Jatp Luke #Jatp Luke Patterson #Charlie Gillespie #Marys Fanfic

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lilyclawthorne · 3 years

Text

Keeping Up A-fear-ance's Thoughts

I finished writing this shortly after 3 am after watching the new episode like three times because I simply had too much energy about it and I have so many thoughts because I simply live for clawthornes and also I tried to break it up with more photos this time sorry not sorry if it's a lot ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

YOUNG EDA!! let me just say I am quite a fan of opening with a flashback like we've done here and the last episode

"we have never seen a curse like this before" Lilith you had shit luck picking out curses huh

"cut it out if we have to" goddamn Gwen let'a calm the fuck down a bit.

anyways we've only really seen young Eda as a wild and confident and happy little child so I appreciate seeing this side of her with the anxiety and fear she's feeling here. I love seeing what the curse stuff was like for her as a kid

Gwen: I raised a perfectly fine kid

Me: no you didn't look at her she's got anxiety

I'm guessing this is their backyard or just some woods behind their house?? wonder if the portal was placed there by another elder family member.

lmao I can't even begin to imagine what small Eda experiencing the human realm was like for the first time

Gwens giving me "I can't accept that my child is disabled/chronically ill/etc." here. y’know the kinda parent that'll put their kid through hell over something they probably will find a way to learn to live with (which Eda did do)

ok that's it I humbly request to know the story behind the fang now (also the noise she made when she put it in was freaking cute)

new dress! new boots! new dress! new boots!

..yikes that fridge is empty

"calm down the curse acts stronger when you're stressed" Eda do you know who you're talking to here

confirmation losing limbs is in fact a side effect of the curse!! (y'know since Eda originally said it just happens when you get older)

please I love these sisters they're so sweet and make me wanna go 🥺

"suddenly curious about my past" "always. always curious" Luz says exactly what we all think

witchlet?? sweet flea?? she's got pet names for them 🥺 (although idk how much I'd like to be referred to as any kind of flea sorry Lilith)

ok Gwen is very much not close to what I expected and I'm kinda grateful for that

she's more like super caring but still managed to royally fuck up which was my original head canon for clawthorne parents so uh that's cool. but literally, look at their body language, Eda's pissed, Lilith's sad and making herself small. she's clearly messed up with her parenting on both of them along the way.

"who knows what they put in those nasty concoctions?" mama clawthorne would be a fucking anti-vaxxer wouldn't she

ok I side with Eda here more than Luz and Lilith. just because Luz misses her mother, or Lilith hasn’t seen their mom in so long doesn’t mean Eda has to feel all grateful for the presence of Gwen, especially if the woman has caused her a lot of trouble over the years

I feel like the fact that its actually both Lilith and Gwendolyn have spent their whole lives dedicated to trying to find a cure could probably have held some kind of weight on Eda at some point. Even though she shouldn't feel guilty or responsible for that, I still feel like it's gotta suck knowing these people have spent so much time on something you know is likely never gonna happen, all for you.

Lilith 😞 her mother really just didn't pay attention to her all these years

hey if this guy does some next level healing magic then why isn't he more well-known, huh? why’d it take so long to come across him?? Gwen do you know what the fuck you're doing cause I think you don't

Lilith just because you're depressed about your mom doesn't mean you have to bring king down too 😠

SUPER irrelevant but is anyone else just bothered by the way Lilith is holding her spoon?? that doesn't seem like a comfortable way to hold a spoon. also is she left handed??

"knife season came early" EDA WHAT DOES THAT MEAN. is this a boiling isles things or is this a it’s common for people to throw knives at you thing

also I want to be surprised Eda fell for the apple blood signs but I am not 😔

Luz please trust you're gut on this one and not mama clawthorne

ok now I need to know why the fridge was empty but they had 18 cartons of ice cream this is why you guys don't have food you're wasting it all on ice cream.

wow never thought I'd see the day hooty became the voice of reason

also, night market ice cream?? are they implying this ice cream is like, edibles of some sort?? Lilith does seem kinda high here ngl. idk man but at least she wants to stand up for herself so good for her.

PLEASE kings just offering her ice cream while she transforms

"first in a series" Gwen honey oh no. you've been duped. I think we can see where Lilith got her naïveté from huh.

Also, nice snatch Luz 😊

anyways love how this show is basically making fun of moms who refuse to give their kids proper medical treatment or listen to medical professionals here

EXCUSE ME why do we know Gwen's palisman's name before we know Lilith's?????

"I am a mother who'll do anything for her daughter" you're mom who's suffocating obsession with one daughter has left the other neglected and is currently causing her to turn into a full on beast ya dummy

Eda DOES have a right to be upset. it sucks that her own valid emotions that she should get to feel will cause her while body to betray her.

PLEASE I’M SO GLAD LILITH’S BEAST DESIGN LOOKS LIKE HER AND IS NOT THE THING FROM THE TRAILER THAT IS ACTUALLY IN EDA"S HEAD WHEN SHE’S TRANSFORMED

but also why is she SO massive?? also anyone concerned that this is her first transformation and the light glyph trick wouldn't even work??

Gwen look at what you've done, you've fostered feelings of inferiority in one daughter causing her to feel the need for sibling rivalry that the pure instincts of the raven beast cannot suppress no matter how much their sisterly relationship had improved.

HOW COULD YOUR OTHER DAUGHTER ALSO BEING CURSED BE A PART OF THE PROCESS GWEN??

"after Eda was cursed, I joined the beast keeping coven" woah woah WOAH. you're telling me you only joined because of trying to help Eda. that covens existed, before Eda got cursed, and you very much weren't a part of one. combine that with "some words for belos" she has and do I smell wild witch theory still plausible???

anyways at least mama clawthorne is getting some sense into her head here

Morton c'mon help a girl out, that's some dang good art too what the heck dude

ok fine mama clawthorne to the rescue

no pls not raven beast Lilith crying im crying now

Gwen: I raised a fine and self-sufficient child

Me: no you didn't look at her. she's got, SO MUCH.

GODDAMN THATS SOME POWER. ngl this only adds fuel to the fire in my head that there was some kinda reasoning these sisters were torn apart, that someone felt they'd be too powerful together (and they were probably right)

"I heard you but I couldn't stop myself, I couldn't do anything" may be just because she's not used to the curse but again part of me is concerned that because she couldn't pull herself out of it even a little bit like Eda did that there's something wrong there. but she also could've been stressed beyond reasonably calming herself down too.

ok but this is sweet

NOOO im so sad Lilith's leaving :( I literally cried ok

"you lived here?" fine OKAY king that was hilarious even if im sad about this

"reconnect with dad" excuse me where the fuck has this man been in the middle of all of this. curse shit is going DOWN and he's just chilling at home.

I am curious about people's thoughts regarding the whole Lilith regression thing and the fact that she's literally going to be living with her parents again. I feel like it could help nurture that inner child she's been reverting back to and help her out a LOT. but I could also be concerned about it feeding into the regression and making it worse?? idk and this show probably ain't getting that actually deep into psych anyways

"some day my hair is gonna be big enough to do that too" Luz I cannot wait for the day. also mood, I wish I could do that too.

alright who's holding the fucking pen for hooty we need a volunteer RIGHT NOW so we can remain in contact with Lulu

NOT THE ONLY HUMAN? my bets on the real azura rip never mind she said he

Titan’s Blood?? interesting. If the blood of the titan is around I wonder what that means regarding the titans existence, and how long its been since the titan fell.

AHH BABY LUZ PHOTO

ALSO WHO THE FUCK IS THAT?? They're really gonna spring that on us like this??? Camila's gotta notice somethings wrong right??? Unless any differences she just chalks up to the camp?? oh god :(

well, anyways lumity shippers come get yo juice next weekend

anyways im gonna need to add a NOT canon compliant tag on that one Gwendolyn fic I wrote because it definitely do not comply anymore

#toh #the owl house #owl house #keeping up afearances #keeping up a-fear-ances

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h0neyjaehyun · 3 years

Text

☁︎ 𝐁𝐢𝐫𝐭𝐡 𝐂𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐫𝐨𝐥 ☁︎

Summary // Tali's period decided to pay a visit and everyone now gets to see what some girls go through.

Characters // Talia Flores + Nct 127 + Nct Dream (Except : Jaemin Mentions: Her mother)

Era / Year // November 2017

Word Count //

⚠️Warning⚠️ // Periods??

As many people do, people go through puberty, and Talia is no different. As most people call it, she pulled a Jungkook on us. She also had her period, the boys were ready for it and everything, but she never really showed signs she was on her period.

She got her period when she was 13 years old, and has it every 3 -4 months. She is irregular, but usually in that span she would get it, unless she is on a diet that is quiet dangerous then no period at all. When she does have her period the side effects she has is cramps, headache, nausea, and last but not least mood swings her mood swings are more emtional, like she cries more easily. Talia is one to be able to control her mood so mood swings she is able to hide pretty well but sometimes she slips up.

During the trainee days the boys didn't really care about her period, thats until they started living with her remember oh yeah, periods.

They don't ask, and she doesn't say, why? Cause she feels awkward asking them for stuff like pads, or ibuprofen etc. So she asks her personal manager or one of the girls from Blackpink.

Thats when one day, her period decided, hey...you gonna be in pain.

Tali woke up to pain on her stomach and head, she groan out in pain knowing, today is gonna be a long day. She went to the bathroom and got tampons and ibuprofen, she sat on the ground for a second so the pill can work, she sighed in relief when it started working but knowing her body its gonna come back up in a couple hours maybe even minutes. She got up and saw all of dream preparing breakfast.

"Hey sleepy head, you woke up late, when did you sleep." Jaemin nagged at her.

"Hmm, I don't remember but Im still tired." She mumbled as she sat next to Jeno and layed her head on his shoulder.

They all looked her worried, she seemed more tired then usual.

"EVERYONE!"

Everyone turned to the door and they saw Mark at the door they all looked at him confused.

"Lets go, we are gonna be late to the recording."

He hurried them. Talia's face filled with annoyance but reminded herself, do not take it out on them, do not take it out on them, they are just reminding you just go change. She chanted to herself, as she went to her room. Mark noticed her tiredness, but decided it was nothing.

She changed, brung her stuff for her period and a brown bag, as she feels like since her pain is this bad, nausea is bound to happen which equals throwing up. She left her room and everyone was there and they left, she texted her personal manager say she has her period, but she might have to canceled the recording session since its bad.

She remembered that Karma said she went on birth control to stop her period and she thought about it but thought...no I can handle it...boy was she wrong today.

They got in the car and she could feel her pain comeback its just has been 30 minutes maybe a little more, and in the car out of all times she thought. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath trying not to groan in pain.

They got to the company building as she was about to step down a sharp pain hit her abdomen, she yelped in pain and she she squeezed the door handle.

"Noona you okay?" Jeno asked as he was right behind and saw nothing could have hit her.

"Yeah I just...hit my finger on the door." She made a quick excuse. But the boys were not buying it, but they let it go. They walked in the building and went to the studio.

She sat down in silence as the boys were eyeing her. They knew about her period she just never shows it, so they don't know whats wrong.

"Lets start guys, who is gonna go first?" One of the producers asked mostly looking at Tali but she shook her head no, he got the hint and went on to Haechan. The boys saw the interaction, and now wondering whats wrong.

Tali moved up to the seat next to the producer. He whispered.

"You okay?"

"Yeah, I just got it today, and its a bad one...you got a water?" She asked him and he knew what she meant. He grabbed a water and handed it to her.

"So thats why you canceled the recording?" Tali nodded

"Yeah, I took ibuprofen 30 minutes ago and my pain has comeback so I'm gonna take another one."

He nodded, she grabbed her pills thinking no one was looking, as it seems the boys were looking at their lines, but in reality they were all looking at her.

They were worried and then when she got pills out of her bag, they were even more worried. She took them and put them bag quickly. They were confused. They saw her lean back and sigh with relief.

"You wanna go next?"

"Yeah, while this pill is working." She whispered, she got up went in the studio and smiled at Haechan but when she got in return was a worried look.

"Whats wrong?" She said to him.

"I should be asking you that, are you sure you hit your hand on the door or are you in pain somewhere else,Noona don't lie to me." Haechan warned, since Talia is not a big lier but when it comes to her health and pain she does.

"I'll be fine, okay, if I can live a day of dieting I can live through pain, don't worry yourself. Im a grown woman." She shook her head playfully at him, making it seem she was okay.

He was half convinced she was okay but the other half he knew she was lying about being okay.

She started recording and managed pretty well. She left with Mark and Haechan to practice with 127 she went up first then the other two behind her. They were looking at her for any sign of pain or discomfort but couldn't find any.

They made it to practice and she smiled at the guys. The choreographer called Tali to him before they started.

"Hey you good? I know how bad your cramps and nausea get, just tell me when you can't handle the pain anymore or dizzy, cause I've seen it." He said, she nodded and smiled.

"I'll try."

He nodded knowing she will just fight through the pain like usual.

They continued practice, before they got there Haechan texted them that Tali is in pain but he doesn't know how. So they kept an eye on her, she noticed but decided to go through it like normal. Thats when her pill wore off on her kick in Cherry Bomb when she stood on leg, her legs gave up on her and her abdomen felt like it was getting stabbed.

They guys ran up to her Jaehyun catching her on her way down he could see her almost crying and whimpering in pain.

"I told you when you feel the pain stop practicing especially this time but nope." The choreographer shook his head and grabbed water and ibuprofen. Tali look at it and shook her head knowing her period it probably won't work.

"Its not gonna work, I already took 3." She huffed feeling her abdomen in pain, she groan in pain.

"Whats wrong?" Yuta asked her, worried why the girl is in so much pain.

"She got her period, today and its nasty one too." The choreographer explain.

"Take her home and someone stay with her, cause her period side effects are not the best."

"What side effects? I thought it was only cramps?" Mark asked innocently.

"Well yeah, but with her its a lot, for example she has, cramps and bad ones, headaches, and nausea. Sometimes mood swings but she is good at handling that." He explained the boys eyes widen theh look at Tali who is now curling up on Jaehyuns lap in pain.

"Okay we will take her home." Doyoung said.

"Jaehyun you carry her and Johnny grab her stuff. The rest look up what good to grab for a bad period and go buy it." Doyoung instructed. The members scattered wanting Talia not to be in pain anymore.

Jaehyun and Johnny when back home first and Jaehyun layed Talia on Haechan's bed he was about to leave when Tali grabbed his hand.

"No, please don't leave I don't wanna be alone." She whined, he chuckled and went under the blanket with her on his chest. He was petting her hair, but she still wasn't able to go to sleep because of the pain. They heard the boys come through the door thats when she got up quickly and ran to the bathroom. All the boys saw her run and they started to go after her and they saw her throwing up.

Yuta went quickly to hold her hair up and rub her back. She put her face up catching her breath then flushed the toilet and layed back on Yutas chest.

"Ah, sorry, when it gets this bad I have nausea, so you will probably see me in the bathroom a lot." She smiled at them apologetically.

"No no, you don't have to be sorry, but that means you are gonna have to eat more." Taeyong stated, Talia shaked her head vigorously no.

"Yes, you are gonna dehydrate if you don't." Doyoung slightly raised his voice at her. She was gonna glare at him but closed her eyes and turned Yutas chest and sank in his arms.

They boys could see her holding back her comments and attitude, which assumed were her mood swings then Yutas eyes widen which made them worried he picked up Tali's face which kinda spooked him how quiet she was crying.

"Oh oh why are you crying?" Yuta asked softly, knowing the result of a louder voice will probably make her cry even more. Doyoung's eyes widen as he felt guilt rush through him, as the others were surprised how quiet Tali was crying or she was crying in general.

"Be- because I don't deserve you guys a-and Doyoung raised his voice at me and I was gonna say something mean but I remembered he doesn't deserved it he just cares for mee~" She whaled at the end as Yuta hugged her head as she wrapped her arms around his torso.

You could see the guilt on Doyoung's face when she said that, and noted when on her period don't raise his voice. He went in and pulling her to him, she looked up at saw his face she was about to pull away but saw the caring look in his eyes.

"Sorry for raising my voice, Im not mad and you know that but can you atleast eat a snack here and there." He asked softly, she nodded her head cutely which made the boys even more soft because some people have ugly face when they cry and some don't. Tali doesn't, her cheeks and nose goes to a rosie color while her eyes dilate and she looks like a doll.

She was about to hug Doyoung but yanked back, and went to throw up in the toilet again. The boys winced at the action as the also see Tali holding her stomach, she leans back on Yut's chest again, as Yuta plays with her hair.

"Hey uh..." She hesitated.

"No tells us its okay." WinWin said trying to reassure her as she gave him doe eyes, he went soft.

"Can someone get my uh, heating pad." As she closed her eyes tightly, her hands on her abdomen.

"Of course princess." Taeyong said as he went to grab the heating pad and heat it up.

"Im gonna go make food okay." Doyoung said and kissed her head and left, she nodded. Now the boys were around the bathroom not wanting to leave Tali's side.

"Shoot." She whispered but everyone heard.

"What is it?" Haechan whispered but worried.

"Uh..." She still looked hesitant.

"Its okay, just tell us we will do it." Taeil reassured her.

"Uh can someone grab my bag for a...tampon." She said embarrassed. The boys smiled at her flustered state. Johnny got up and grabbed the the tampons but got confused.

"Uh Tali which one?" He held up a box filled with different tampons. Talia laughed but winced, the boys looked at her with worry.

"Im okay, its fine just give it to me but can you get out please?" She smiled. They nodded and left. Once she finished she opened the dorm to see a smiling Taeyong with her heating pad her put it on her abdomen and she sighed in relief, but then dream barged in.

"NOONA?"

The boys went to the bathroom where most of the boys were surrounded. They saw her laying on Taeyong looking at them with a surprised look on her face.

"Why didn't you tell us you were hurting, huh?!" Renjun raised his voice a little which wouldn't really matter if Tali wasn't on her period didn't consider it related to her mother. The dreamies and 127 members saw her eyes water and slowly she started to cry. Which threw off the dreamies.

"I-im sorry, I didn't want to bother you, and we were going to record which was al- already stressful so I didn't want you to look after your noona." Tali hiccuped as she cried, and the look on Renjun's face couldn't have felt more guilty, thinking he made Talia cry. Before he could say anything she said

"Im sorry I'm am emotional mess." Which broke them seeing her like that Taeyong held her head to his chest rocking her back and fourth.

"Shh its okay. We love you okay, remember that." He said kissing her head. Trying to rock her to sleep.

Renjun was standing there feeling guilty thinking he did something wrong to make Talia cry. But Doyoung went up to him and patted him on the back.

"You didn't do anything wrong, right now she is emotional, Haechan will expain the do's and don'ts that we have learn while she is on her period." Doyoung expain to the dreamies, they nodded and went to Haechans room.

They entered and Renjun was feeling guilty, yeah she was on her period but he felt like he did such a terrible thing. Haechan noticed.

"Yeah I saw, its fine it happened to Doyoung too, but what we have learned so far is that she has bad cramps, headaches, nausea and mood swings."

"Is that why she is in the bathroom?" Chenle asked, Haechan nodded.

The dreamies felt helpless, they cant do much for their noona.

Next day.....

Tali woke up in Haechan's bed, with Renjun hugging her, she guessed he felt bad for making her cry, now and now she felt bad for overreacting.

Then she stopped herself if she thought more about what happen she would cry again. She got up and saw everyone around sleeping, she felt guilty for making them worry but then she felt something and knew what was coming.

She ran to the bathroom which made everyone wake up and look around seeing Tali up which meant she went to throw up. They felt guity not being able to help. Renjun woke pretty fast and ran after her, he saw her throwing up and held her hair back and hugged her.

"You okay?" He asked softly. She nodded.

"I know its weird, but can you bring me a tampon any is fine." He nodded and left. She huffed and layed her head back.

"Im so going on birth control."

83 notes · View notes

orionwhispers · 4 years

Text

Sweet Disaster// Tommy Shelby

(A/N - hello. so basically, i had a dream about chris evans, and then i modified it into this tommy imagine. it was supposed to be a drabble but i physically cannot write anything less than 12k words so thats great. honestly this is very similar to ��fools gold’ but hey, im in the mood for some angsty fluff and fighting with our main guy tom. next tommy imagine will be the lolita wedding and that will be the fluffiest fluff that ever fluffed. thanks for everything, PLS let me know what u think. see you soon! stay safe!)

trigger warnings: fighting, tommy being a douche, everyone being a dumbass, tommy getting jealous and implied sex.

You saw him on a Saturday night, at a bar on the outskirts of the city.

It had been three months, and you had hoped you would have managed to slip through the cracks; pass through the night like the foxes that roamed in the back alleys - but you had never been that lucky, especially not when he was involved.

It was your friend’s birthday, and you tipped back glass after glass of expensive champagne that bubbled and burned at the back of your throat. The lights were blinding, twinkling chandeliers and the smell of cigarettes and french perfume, something like bergamot and vanilla, lingering in the air.

Your dress was cherry red, your hair tied back with a sequinned headband and your lips and cheeks painted in rouge, but you had never felt so awful. It had been bad enough trying to find something to wear, the contents of your wardrobe tipped all over your floor, a mess of mesh and feather and lace, almost everything reminding you of him, as if he had been stitched right into the fabric. You had ended up curled in a ball on the floor, wiping your tears with the Chanel blouse he had bought back from a business trip in Paris.

Stupid fucking boys.

You could hear the girls talking around you, high pitched giggles and exaggerated voices as they gossiped about something or other that faded into static around you. You had spent the past three months holed up in your flat, only leaving for work or the street market on Sunday, stocking up with bread and wine and cheese, everything carb filled and rich to fill the hole in your heart.

You weren’t used to the company of others or the hustle and bustle of a crowded room, and you sat back against the plush cherry velvet seats, dreaming of climbing into bed and devouring the slab of dark chocolate you had been saving.

Your close friend Emma, the one who knew the reason you were staring into space and not laughing and drinking with the rest of the girls, placed a manicured hand on your shoulder, and tilted her head slightly.

“How are you holding up?”

You snapped out of your trance.“I’m fine. I’m sorry I’m not much fun right now.”

“Nonsense.” She pushed you lightly, her voice as soft and playful as ever. “At least you came out! It hasn’t been the same without you.”

“Yeah - I’m sure everyone missed having me bawl like a baby and mope around.”

She elbowed you, “Stop bloody feeling sorry for yourself and have a shot! Christ! You can spend the rest of the week wrapped up in your duvet, but tonight - suck it up, and have a drink!”

She handed you a glass of something dark, and you brought it to your lips, tipping it into your throat with a wince. It felt as though you were drinking petrol.

“What the bloody hell was that?”

“Don’t know. Don’t care. All that matters is that it’s top shelf and it came from those fellas over there.” She pointed towards a group of men huddled around the bar. They were shooting quick glances and sly winks towards you and your friends. Sure they were relatively attractive, most likely handsomely rich and dressed in suits that looked finely tailored - but they made your skin crawl.

You hated the way that you would always be comparing other men to him, and you especially hated how they would always come up short.

An hour later and whatever liquor was coursing through your bloodstream had done its job, and everything seemed infinitely brighter. You even found yourself laughing at jokes and stories that you only caught halfway through, the alcohol wonderfully dizzying your brain.

You were so caught up in the rush of being drunk and finally feeling somewhat happy for the first time in forever; that you didn’t realise you had caught the attention of one of the men across the bar. You felt him sidle in next to you, following his friends who had snaked their way into your booth, their arms slung around the girls shoulders, whispering sweet little sentiments into their ears.

“Can I get you a drink?” He asked, so close to you that you could smell the sour whiskey on his tongue, your nose wrinkling.

“I’m fine, thank you.”

Perhaps you had spent so long being ‘Tommy Shelby's girl’ that you had forgotten what it was like when you were being hit on. You had spent so many nights safely tucked under his arm, his hands possessively wrapped around your body, an unspoken threat sent out to everyone and anyone around you - it had been a long time since a man had tried his luck with you.

Perhaps you were so infatuated with him that you never noticed anybody else. Your mind forever filled with visions of oceanic eyes and three piece suits, his Birmingham accent ringing through your ears like a gospel. He invaded all of your thoughts and infiltrated your dreams, and you loathed and loved him for it. The way that he filled your brain and heart like smoke, clouding your decisions and judgments, like some kind of magical elixir, blurring everything but the shape of him.

The man beside you didn’t concede. He cleared his throat, running a finger over the rim of your glass, ignoring the way your eyebrows furrowed and lip curled.

“Let me get you a drink, pretty girl.”

Pretty girl.

It sounded so wrong. It was never pretty girl. It was - darling, sweetheart, princess. It was - my love, honey, kitten. It was said teasingly and exasperatedly, it was whispered in your ear and buried into the space between your thighs. It was never said in the sticky corner of a club, from the greedy mouth of a stranger undressing you with his eyes.

“I’m - ” Taken. But you weren’t, not anymore, and you hated the way the thought of him made your lip wobble. It’s had been three goddamn months, why did the memory of him still make your body go up in flames?

Emma stiffened beside you, waving a dismissive hand at the gentleman speaking to her, and turned to face you and your unmoving suitor.

“We’re alright here, love. Thanks.”

A flicker of annoyance. His fingers tightening until his knuckles turned white, his tongue running across the ridge of his front teeth. He obviously didn’t take rejection well, and he was doing a shitty job at hiding it.

“Are you sure? It looks like she could do with another drink.”

You swallowed thickly, eyes rolling back at the way he dismissed you and spoke as though you were incapable of thinking for yourself.

“I’m fine.” Your words were curt and clipped, a clear indication of your disinterest, but he refused to back down.

“You shouldn’t be here all alone.”

“I’m not alone.”

“Really? What kind of man would leave a pretty little thing like you all by herself?”

“The kind of man that would punch you in the fucking teeth for speaking to her like that.”

You froze.

Oh Christ.

A million irreverent, evil, blasphemous phrases hurtled inside of your mind, and you knew that if Polly somehow ever caught wind of what you were thinking, you would be on the receiving end of a sharp slap around the head.

He was here. Of bloody course he was. He had a knack for showing up out of the blue and knocking all of the wind from your lungs.

It hurt like an open wound, feeling his eyes on you, the same ones that had looked at you with love and humour and gentleness, and not being able to fully meet his gaze - knowing just how much it would hurt if you did.

“She’s with me.”

His voice was firm, laced with the same sort of dismissive irritability he used to use whenever somebody tried their luck with you. This time was different however, you couldn’t roll your eyes and kiss him, you couldn’t put your head in the crook of his neck or mutter that you were his under the golden chandeliers, his fingers digging into the flesh of your hip.

You couldn’t do any of that anymore, because you weren’t.

The man seemed pick up on the tension, clicking his tongue slyly, unaware of the consequences his words would have. “Doesn’t seem like she is.”

“Get the fuck out.”

The penny must have dropped for the rest of the boys. The booth going silent as they realised just who the handsome shadowy figure towering over them was. You felt them slowly inch away, head down and gazes low, not wanting to be caught in the crossfire. A few hushed mumbles of “holy shit! That’s Tommy Shelby! One of those blinders!” hurtling around the tables beside you, not completely drowned out by clatter of the jazz band.

“I have every right to be here.” The ballsy stranger said, stiffening up beside you. His spine curled as he tried to make himself bigger. “Who says I have to leave?”

You huffed at his words, exhaling like a balloon. “That’s enough.” You didn’t want to cause a scene. You were exhausted, the night taking such a sudden turn you felt like you had whiplash, and the alcohol sat deep in your gut like a rock. You just wanted to get home, away from the man you wanted so badly your fingers ached to hold him, and crawl into your bed with your cat and a mountain of chocolate.

“Well, considering I own the fucking place, I think that I do - and if you don’t, I’ll shoot you.”

That seemed to do it.

You kept your eyes focused on the mans paling face, the grim look washing over him like salty sea air, you didn't dare turn and face the man you could feel burning holes in your neck.

“I.. I...” The man spluttered almost incoherently, rising to his feet and stumbling out from beside you. From behind you you heard Emma giggling coyly into her glass. “Sorry.” He mumbled quickly, his knees buckling when Tommy clapped a hand around his shoulder, holding him in place like a dog.

Tommy’s voice was still, almost too controlled, and you knew that his words were deadly. “If I see you around these parts again, I’ll put a fucking bullet in your skull.”

He gulped and nodded, darting into the sea of bodies in the crowd.

You kept your eyes low. Fumbling with the pearl clasps of your purse you squeezed Emma’s hand in parting and rose to your feet, wanting to leave as painlessly as possible, not even daring to look up at the face staring you down.

“I should go.” Was all you said, sliding out of the booth and onto the marbled floor. You saw the way the rest of the girls were watching the scene unfold before them, and you knew that by Monday you would have a lot of questions to answer, but right now you needed nothing but the safety of your flat.

You didn’t even let your shoulders brush against him. You coiled around him like a snake, your feet moving so fast your embroidered shoes were nothing but a blur of scarlet. You only made it to the hallway, he let you go far enough that you were in private before he reached for you, a familiar, large hand curving around the dip in your shoulder. You hated the way your body reacted, goosebumps rising to his touch unconsciously.

“(Y/N), wait.”

Your name on his tongue was sweeter than honey and richer than wine, it sounded so right that it hurt. It had been so long since you had heard him call you by your name, so long since he had spoken to you that your gut was twisting inside of you, your whole body aching for him to do nothing but repeat that word like a mantra.

You inhaled, thinking of a way out. It was too dangerous, you were playing with fire and you couldn’t get burnt, not again.

“I’m sorry — I didn’t know, it’s Jessica’s birthday and we - ” You hated how you stumbled over your words. You had never felt so uncomfortable around him and it made your skin crawl. You had kissed him under the stars, laughed with him in the corner of a private party, made love to him in every room of his fucking mansion, and now he felt like a stranger.

You knew what he looked like when he woke up, with his sleepy eyes and tousled hair. You knew what he looked like when had spent the night doing something unholy, you had cleaned his knuckles and kissed his wounds as you sat pressed up against him in the tub, his hands wrapped around your waist. You’d stood by his side, your hands intertwined in the middle of some expansive ballroom, and listened to him sweet-talk his way into a new business deal, all the while stroking his thumb over yours. You had seen him vulnerable, pulling you so close to his chest that it was like you were bound together, whispering to you how he loved you, how he couldn’t live without you.

But he still let you go.

He moved in front of you, leaving you with no choice but to meet his eyes. He looked good, but that was a given, he always did, no matter the circumstances. He looked so... soft. He always seemed that way around you, his eyes getting a little bit kinder, the harshness of his words dipped in sugar, even the sharpness of his jaw looked inviting and gentle, practically begging you to wrap your palm around it.

You bit your tongue. You were being ridiculous. You were seeing things that weren’t there. It was over between the two of you, he had made that very clear. You were grasping at straws and all it was going to do was hurt you.

He spoke suddenly, his thick accent cutting through the silence that felt so loud. “It’s alright. Only really been ours since last night, there were... problems with the last owners.”

Despite everything you felt the ghost of a smile tugging on the edge of your lips, immediately knowing what ‘problems’ he was referring to.

“Arthur?” You asked.

“Yes.” He said with a small grin. “Arthur.”

A moment passed. The air around you feeling all too hot and all to cold at once. It had been a long time since you had seen one another, and both of you were caught up in appreciating such familiar beauty up close. You had missed the small things about him, like the slight curl of his hair and the veins in his neck, you could remember running your lips across the curve and dip of his throat.

You were treading in dangerous waters. It wouldn’t be long until the current pulled you under, and you weren’t quite sure how much longer you could keep a rational mind. You inhaled, flittering your eyes to meet his in some kind of signal of parting, pulling your clutch tighter to your body as an attempt to keep yourself grounded. “I should go. It was good to see you, Tommy.”

You spun on your heel, heading for the large golden doors that led outside. Fresh air would clear your mind, the stars and the velvet night would be good for clearing out all of the junk rattling around in your skull, but you barely got two steps forward before he spoke, already knowing his next words before he even opened his mouth.

“Let me drive you home.”

He spoke so surely, addressing you the way he would one of his brothers or Johnny, as if he knew what was best for you. Once upon a time you would have believed that he did, let him grasp you by the wrists and drag you to the end of the world if he asked nicely, those fucking baby blues and pink lips dulling any warning sirens in your head.

Even now, after everything, you knew that he would never put you in danger, that he would always protect you. And it was with the knowledge of that striking your heart like lightning, you knew that you were still hopelessly, undoubtedly in love with him - not that you ever thought differently, but you had done a damned good job of pushing your feelings away.

“You’ve had a lot to drink,” He said, “and I wouldn’t even let you out on those fucking streets by yourself stone cold sober.”

You pursed your lips. “I’m not drunk, and you don’t tell me what to do.”

“I’m driving you home.”

You looked up at him through your painted lashes, disarming him in a million different ways you didn’t even realise. You were oblivious to the fact that his breath felt trapped in his lungs.“You and I both know that’s not a good idea, Tommy.”

“Cmon. Get your things.”

You sidestepped away, pushing the bottom of your heel deeper into the champagne coloured carpet. “No Tommy, I’m not a child! I don’t need your help.”

He rolled his eyes, something akin to fond exasperation rising to his cheeks. You felt your heart drop and flutter like it was a sparrow inside of you, you had never thought you would see that face again, and it hurt how something so simple could twist and mould you in his hands like clay.

He pressed his hands to the small of your back, pushing you forward.

“I don’t care if you don’t want my help. I’m doing it anyway.”

You huffed. Too tired and drunk and confused to put up a real fight.“Fine.” He smiled coyly and his smug attitude made you click your teeth, running a hand through the curls in your hair, not stopping the childish retort on the edge of your tongue. “Prick.”

You felt his hand swat at you, dangerously close to the hem of your dress and you were certain that your cheeks were the same colour as the candles flickering on the tables below. It was such a playful, tender thing to do, and so horribly familiar - memories of his hands on you, pinching and teasing and digging in, a way of communicating without words, something so intimate and personal, something that only the two of you knew.

You wondered if he felt the same way. You wondered if he was reminded of the past, of peach moons and starlight kisses and strawberry lipstick, but as always he remained impassive, as poker faced as always as he strolled down the hall, pushing open the wide brass doors and waiting for you to pass through, him trailing behind you, like always.

———————————————————————

Through your hazy eyes the moon almost looked pink, like a spotlight shining down on you, illuminating the both of you as Tommy’s car purred down the streets, like a black cat stalking under the cover of darkness.

It smelt like him.

Like cigarettes and sin and mint and woodsmoke. You were reminded of driving at midnight with the windows down, his hand wrapped around your thigh, his eyes anywhere but the road. You thought of sticky skin and leather seats and the smell of sex, breathless little laughs and the feel of his teeth biting down on your top lip.

You stared at the polish on your fingernails, hoping for some kind of distraction from the man beside you. It wasn’t far to your flat, and you prayed that the drive home would be as hitch free as possible.

“Had a good night?” Tommy asked, looking over at you from behind the wheel. He’s not even sure what he’s saying, his usually mechanical brain almost short circuiting because you’re finally next to him again. Words and phrases seem tasteless and meaningless, but he wants to savour as much of you as he can. He knows it makes him hypocritical, especially given everything he’s put you through, but he’s never really been very conventional with his love.

“It was alright.”

“Friends from work?”

“Yeah. It was Jessica’s birthday, she wanted to get drunk, you know how it can be.”

“And that...that man - ?” He cleared his throat, hoping that his words came off breezier than they sounded in his head, pretending as if the thought of you with somebody else didn’t feel like a noose around his neck. “Who was he?”

“Just some stupid twat.”

Your words weren’t doing much to quell the fiery flicker of anger inside of him, half of his brain telling him to turn the car around and put a razor blade through the fuckers eye - but one glance over at your sleepy, beautiful face and all of his jealousy fades into mere smoke.

None of it matters.

Nothing will ever matter more than you.

“I shouldn’t have even been out tonight, but Emma practically dragged me.”

Emma. The name rings a bell. He flips through a mental picture book of everyone you’ve spoken about, and finally lands on the glamorous, dark skinned, velvet haired vixen that you called your best friend.

Memories come flooding back.

The nights you would spend with her when he was too busy with work. How in the darkness of his office with nothing but an empty feeling in his chest and glass of bourbon beside him, the phone would ring and cut through the silence.

He’d roll his eyes when Emma spoke quickly down the line, words slurred and filled with giggles as she would explain the drunken shenanigans you had both fallen into. He’d drive through the night and the dim city streets, his mind for once not filled with business deals or money, instead his heart tugging at the thought of his doe eyed, honey lipped girl waiting for him in the city.

“I think she had too much to drink.” Emma would say, clambering into a taxi cab she had managed to hail, teetering in her tall satin shoes. “I wanted to take her home with me, but she was causing such a big fuss and asking for you - couldn’t bloody say no.”

Outside the club his voice would be stern and his stare would be solid. Clipped, quick words to the doormen, feeling you press your cold nose into the base of his throat, mumbling something incoherent about how pretty he was. He’d scold you fondly. Settle you down in the back seats of his car and cover you up with his jacket, smiling ever so softly at the way you cuddled into the warmth and the familiar smell.

He thought of how lonely his nights had been without you.

“How is she?”

“Fine. Everyone is just fine.”

But how are you? He wants to ask, but he has a feeling that no matter the answer he’ll still end with a bullet in his gut, so he lets the silence engulf the both of you, nothing in the air but unspoken tension and the soft purr of the engine.

He had an idea. Something conniving and crafty, something that he’s been wanting to do since the night he told you that it wasn’t safe to be with him, the night he told you to leave. Thomas Shelby has always been a strong, level headed man, but something about you just makes him crumble. You have a way of twisting around him, snaking around his thoughts and feelings like a vine, and he gives himself up wholly.

He would never put you in a position you were uncomfortable with, but he can’t help the claw in his gut when he thinks of how long it’s been since you’ve been apart. He can smell the sweet liquor and perfume on you, can see the way your eyes are glossed ever and your hair is mussed. You’re tired, and after the way that goddamn leech of a man had been fawning over you Tommy is in no mood to leave you alone, he likes knowing that you’re safe, it’s the only thing that makes him able to sleep at night.

He glanced over to you, watching as you yawned into your palm, your soft, pretty eyes looking at the stars and the moon and his decision was made for him.

“You missed the turn.” You said a few moments later, perking up a little in your seat.

“Hmm?”

“You missed it. You should have turned left back there.”

He doesn’t say anything, and you’re pretty sure you know the reason why. Despite the part of your body that is sparked like a match at the thought of spending the night with him, you also know that it is too dangerous, that the two of you together are fire and gasoline.

“No. No, Tommy. I’m not staying over with you.”

“Yes you are. You can stay in a guest room - it’ll give you time to sleep off that hangover.”

“I’m hardly drunk.”

“Well, when we get home you can walk in a straight line for me, eh?”

“It’s not my home.”

That hurt.

He ignored you, feeling the familiar bite of irritation, hating that he wasn’t the same man to you that he once was. He could feel his tone getting desperate, and under any other circumstance he would be furious at being so weak, but never around you. “Just stay. Tonight? For me. I’ll sleep better knowing you’re not getting into any trouble.”

“Tommy Shelby never sleeps.”

You huffed and crossed your arms over your chest, sighing in defeat. Tommy smiled, and realised as the car lurched over the bridge that’ll take you back where you both belong that he’s the happiest he has been in a long time.

—————————————————————

His house was as intimidating as ever, even more so under the thick blanket of the night. The architecture looked gothic, the sprawling roof and high chimneys almost seeming menacing as the car pulled up along the gravel, the low sound of the rocks crackling like a fire.

It almost felt strange. A house you had stepped foot in hundreds of times, suddenly feeling unfamiliar and mystifying. It was like the very first time you had seen the house a few years ago, how the large rooms and the tall ceilings seemed empty and dangerous, as though they housed a million secrets.

But since then it had been full of so much light. You had danced with him playfully, barefoot on the kitchen floor, with the windows open and soft jazz flittering in the air like sunlight. You had slept on the sofa in the drawing room, tangled up against his bare chest, the room littered with wine stained glasses and cigarette burns. You had laughed until you had cried, kissed him on the vivaciously on the mouth, sat through dozens of rowdy family dinners, shared coffee and pastry under the sleepy morning light - and now it felt as though a million years had passed.

You let him lead you inside. Keeping a safe distance and a wary eye as though he was an unpredictable stray dog that needed to be kept at arms length. He sensed your suspicion and ignored it, marching forward like a solider, pretending that your distrust didn’t make him feel awful. He hated to think of you on edge because of him, he hated how small it made him feel. He never wanted to be insignificant to you.

You noticed how bare it was in the hallway. Once upon a time the coat rack would have been filled with your furs and shawls, your pastel pink boots and his forever charcoal posh oxfords lined next to one another, a poignant reminder of their owners and the differences that you both shared.

It wasn’t just lack of your belongings, somehow the house seemed much emptier. It didn’t smell as worn as it usually did, the warmth of a recently lit fire didn’t dwell in the air and there were no keys or shoes by the front door. You knew that Mary kept a clean house, but this was something different, and a sour thought suddenly hit you.

“You haven’t been home much?” You tried to keep the jealousy out of your voice and remain level headed, but it was proving hard when you were feeling so nauseous at the thought of him sharing a bed with somebody else.

“Lot of late nights at the office.” He shrugged his jacket from his shoulders and wrapped it around a hanger, his icy blue eyes catching yours. “Home didn’t feel like home anymore.”

You didn’t miss the implication in his words, but you chose to ignore it.

“Can I get you something to drink?”

“I thought I was here to sleep.”

“You are. But what kind of host would I be if I didn’t offer my guest a nightcap?”

You made a noise. Something halfway between a scoff and a huff.

“Tea? Whiskey?”

“No, I’m fine thank you.”

“What about hot chocolate? I still have some of that god awful strawberry stuff you love so much.”

Memories of sickly sweet strawberry kisses flash in your head. Images of Tommy wincing and groaning as if you had poisoned him. Belly laughs and pillow talk. All things you had tried so hard to forget.

“No. I don’t drink that anymore.”

He looked at you. There were no diamond chandeliers or dark corners or red velvet walls distorting your appearance, just the two of you stood opposite in the hallway of his mansion. He looked you up and down, not in a sleazy way, like the man at the bar who had so desperately wanted to get his hands under your dress but almost - longingly. There was something in his eyes. Swimming right in those ocean eyes was something you couldn’t quite make out, he opened his mouth to say something but before he could speak you heard the whine of the door above you.

“Mr Shelby! You’re back.” It was Mary, stood at the top of the stairs. Still dressed in her maids uniform despite the ungodly hour, she looked as pristine as ever, and you couldn’t think of a time you had seen the elderly woman without makeup on. She flew down the stairs, eager to offer Thomas anything she could, but she stopped dead in her tracks when she finally saw you.

“Miss (Y/L/N)!” She said, trying to control the shock in her voice. She hadn’t been there the day that you left, but it wouldn’t take a fool to guess what had happened between you and her boss. Just like you, she probably assumed you would never return to the Shelby house. After a moment she smiled kindly, regaining her composure after the initial shock. “It’s a pleasure to see you once again.”

“And you, Mary.”

“Oh! Mr Shelby I’ve made up your quarters and -” she stopped, realising what she was saying and she awkwardly shifted as she tried to change the subject. “Can I get you anything? Shall I bring you some tea? Or some wine?”

“Oh no. I’m fine thank you, really.”

“You know what Mary,” You heard Tommy say, a cigarette dangling from his lips. “Can you fix us some drinks? Whatever’s in the cupboards is fine. Oh, and bring us those chocolates Ada brought from New York. We’ll be in the sitting room.”

“Tommy - ” You started, but he was already gone, walking through his house with renewed energy, and you strained your ears to hear the sentences he called out over his shoulder.

“One drink. For old times sake.”

“Ugh. You’ll be the death of me, Shelby.”

———————————————————————

It should have been awkward. It should have been awkward and uncomfortable and painful - but it wasn’t.

He lit a fire, something about the yellow flames and the crackling wood soothing you like warm milk. You missed the feel of his sofas, the ones that cost such an outrageous price that it made your eyes water, and you sunk into the cushions far more easily than you liked. Mary had made your favourite drink, and the situation felt so familiar that it was ridiculous, but it was more ridiculous how good everything felt.

He was as charming as ever. Giving you those side eye glances and cheeky smiles as he spoke, asking about your family and telling you stories of the trouble his brothers had been in. He moved around the room in a blur of navy, because as God would have it tonight of all nights he was wearing your favourite blue suit, the one that made him look so beautiful and powerful.

He didn’t ask about work, and you were glad, because you weren’t ready to tell him yet.

Perhaps an hour passed, the two of you dancing around each other, neither one wanting to be the one that crossed the line first. Your mind was blurry but you knew that this had gone on too long, you needed to pull the plug before it was too late, but as always, Tommy got there first.

“It feels like fate.” He said, his voice so much warmer than it had been a few moments before.

“What does?”

“Running into you tonight.”

You scoffed. “Please. Tommy Shelby doesn’t believe in fate.”

“I didn’t. Not until I met you.”

Your whole body felt like it had been set alight. He knew just what to say to get you to curl around his little finger. He was watching you intently, moving forward so his elbows were on his knees, as though he was desperate to hear your reply. He was being honest, more so than he had been in a long time, but your mind was too filled with the past to give into his sweet words.

“So,” You said, knocking back the last dregs of your drink. “Are you just going to pretend it never happened?”

“What?”

“Cut the crap, Tommy.” You snarked. “You know what I mean.” A breathless laugh. “God, this is ridiculous. I shouldn’t have come here.”

“Don’t say that.”

You rubbed your forehead, massaging away a migraine you could feel brewing. “I need to go to bed. I don’t want to get into all of this again.”

“(Y/N) - ”

“Goodnight, Tommy.”

You stood up and heard the sound of his glass of whisky hitting his red oak table. Your fingers touched the edge of the door handle, but he was pulling you backwards before you could leave. You were facing him, trying to keep your eyes away from his, not wanting to go falling into him the way your body desired.

“You might not want to talk but you can listen.” He said, so close to you that your noses were almost touching. You pursed your lips and squirmed like a child, but he raised an eyebrow and you huffed, letting him speak, his words shattering you like you were a sheet of ice.“Im still in love you.”

You bit your lip to stop from crying. The scab had been picked off, blood clotting down your ankles and onto the floor.

“Think I will be till the day I die. Even after.”

His words were so sincere and you wanted to believe them. You could feel him watching you, cornering you, willing you to say the words back, needing to hear the words fall from your lips.

You held up one finger, trying to stop him from speaking. “Don’t.”

“It’s true.”

You could feel the hot prickle of tears forming in your eyes, and the way your throat constricted like you’d been swallowing cotton balls.“Was this the plan all along? Invite me back, get me drunk and think I’ll crawl back into bed with you after you tell me a few lines?”

“Don’t be ridiculous. I would never do that to you.”

He was angry. More so with himself, he’s always been in control, so articulate and calculated, but he was losing his grip on you, his knuckles turning white. He knew he made a mistake that night when he told you to leave, but his pride was too strong to do anything about it. Seeing you tonight had been more than just a coincidence, he knew that, and everything in him was screaming at him to fight for you.

“I miss you.” It ached for him to say it out loud, such a powerful man admitting that you were his weakness, that you bring him to his knees like he’s a child.

“I miss you too, Tommy, you know I do. But - ”

“I fucked up.”

“Tom.”

“I never should have let you leave.”

“We - Us - It’ll never - ” You couldn’t think let alone speak, all of your words twisting and tumbling from your mouth like loose marbles.

“We were a lot of things, but you can’t tell me that we aren’t supposed to be together.”

“I don’t want to talk about this... I can’t!”

“So let’s not talk.”

His lips met yours and you were on fire. The breath you didn’t know you were holding was knocked out of you by the force of his body on yours. His hands were all over you, checking you were real, feeling the curve and dip of your body the way his mind had conjured up in the dark in the months that you had been gone, he savoured you entirely, he devoured you.

“This isn’t - This isn’t right.” It was lie. Nothing felt more right. Your whole body ached and quivered for him, you wanted to breathe in his smell and run your fingers through his hair until they bled, but you also didn’t want to go down without a fight.

He knew you too well though.

“Stop it.” He had you backed up against the wall, his body pressed in between your thighs. He’d caged you in, one hand curling softly under your jaw, manipulating you so that you had no choice but to look right into his damn sea foam eyes. “Stop being so stubborn.”

“Stop being such a prick then.”

Lips on your neck. His hands all over you. Inhaling your perfume and the smell of your hair, digging his fingertips into your hip, a jolt of pain that you knew would leave a bruise. He captured your lips again, relishing in the way you felt under him, he was desperate for more, and he smiled cheekily when he heard you moan.

“I thought you wanted to go to sleep.” He teased, his voice was playful but he was struggling to keep his composure, he felt like his head was being held underwater, the pleasure teetering on pain.

“I hate you.” You said, gasping for air, feeling adrenaline and liquor and lust flow through you.

“No you don’t.”

You bit down on his plump bottom lip, hard enough to draw blood. He winced slightly, and rolled his eyes, shoving you backwards into his bookcase, kissing you even harder. A few novels and a porcelain figurine fell to the floor, the small black horse shattering at your feet. He grumbled slightly, and you giggled into his neck. You bent down to try and collect the broken pieces but he swatted your hand away, kissing and sucking all across your neck and throat, wanting to mark his territory.

“Stop that. I don’t want you cutting yourself.” He muttered into your flesh, clasping your hands together and holding you by the wrists, refusing to let you do anything but melt into him - not that there was anything in the world you would rather be doing.

Slowly the kisses got softer, more tender, all across your collar and shoulders like raindrops. There was something methodical about it, almost poetic, like he was trying to savour the taste of your skin, and the way your body rippled under him. After a moment he stopped, his hands tangling into your hair, gripping you by your jaw, looking into your glossed out, wide eyes.

“I really fucking missed you. I’m sorry.”

You shuddered. “I know.”

“Tomorrow we’ll talk. Alright?” There are a million things he needed to say. A million things he needed you to know, but there was nothing more important to him at that moment than having you under him, letting his body show you all of the things he couldn't put into words. He needed you, all of you. His head was fucked and he needed the wash of calm you gave him, he needed to feel whole, the way that only you could make him.

“Tomorrow.” You whispered.

He nodded solemnly. Ducking his head and pressing your mouths together, hot and raw and heavy. You were sweeter than sugar, stronger than whisky and prettier than all of the stars in the sky, and he struggled to keep himself from buckling at the knees under your touch. The only thing that could stop him from moulding your bodies together were the sweet little words that left your lips, the ones that rang like a gospel in his ears.

“Take me to bed, Tommy.”

————————————————————

He broke it off three months prior.

You had been missing each other, your schedules hectic and mismatched, and it had been a good few weeks since you had spoken for more than a few stolen seconds over the telephone. Finally, like the sun parting through rain clouds, there was one weekend that was empty in both of your diaries and Tommy told you to expect a car outside of your flat one Friday afternoon.

A whole weekend. Two days and three nights spent with your beloved, it should have been a time filled with late nights and rumpled bedsheets, coffee in the morning and wearing nothing but his linen shirts and the pretty lilac underwear he loved so much - but it turned soon turned sour.

On Sunday you had been making rhubarb pie. Folding and rolling the pastry between your fingertips, listening to the birds whistling through the open window and the lull of soft jazz from the radio behind you.

He had taken a call. A sullen look falling over his face as soon as he answered the phone. He had shut himself in his study, and all you could hear was the deep rumble of his voice and the sound of his footsteps, and so you left him alone, and busied yourself with other things.

It had all been so wonderful. Riding his horses through the fields, reading books under his arm as he rifled through papers, stealing kisses that tasted like hard candies and peppermint. You'd forced him to relax, made him take a bubble bath with you, poured lavender and vanilla oil across his aching shoulders until he let out an involuntary moan, ran your fingers through his hair until his breath evened out and his eyes fluttered shut, finally feeling at peace next to the woman he loved.

You’d laughed and made love and kissed and danced and it had all be so perfect.

Until it wasn’t.

For 48 hours he had been yours. He wasn’t “Thomas Shelby, leader of the Peaky Blinders,” he had been your Tommy. You weren’t a fool, you knew that work was always the most important thing to him, that he lived and breathed for the company he had built from his two bare hands, his work ethic and brilliance was something you admired about him, but it didn’t mean that it didn’t sting when he slipped back into business mode.

It had been about an hour, and you were cleaning the counters, something soothing about finding the dark marble granite under the mess of flour. You knew that Mary would have a fit if she knew you were cleaning, but you enjoyed the normalcy it gave you. You heard him before you saw him, the sound of his matte leather brogues on the tile in the hallway, and you lifted your head when you felt his presence in the doorway.

“You need to leave.”

His tone was so sudden and blunt that it almost made you laugh, but one look at the sallowness of his skin and the intensity in his eyes made you straighten up. “Excuse me?”

“It’s Sabini.”

“What about him?”

“He knows - he fucking knows.”

He was being uncharacteristically agitated, and it sent a deep chill down your spine. You lurched forward, hands spread, wanting to carry some of his worry. “Knows what? Tommy, calm down.”

“He’s had men lurking outside your flat.”

“What?”

“One of the new boys spotted ‘em. Fucking filth have been there all weekend.”

You felt your heart sink to your stomach. Truthfully, whilst the thought of Sabini and his men watching you made your skin crawl, you were more worried by the way it seemed to have frazzled Tommy. You weren’t used to seeing him so... anxious, and that sent red hot warning signs to your brain.

Your relationship had never been a secret per se, but you never made it public. After a few months of rendezvous in hotels and bars up and down the country, and Tommy realising his feelings for you were much more than just lust - he laid everything out bare. He told you he wanted you. But he also told you what the consequences of hanging off his arm were. You knew the risks, knew what chaos his love could bring, but you were falling so deeply that none of it mattered to you. You weren’t stupid, and Tommy did everything in his power to keep you safe, and the two of you found a mellow middle ground, a place where you could be happy and young and in love, without all of the mayhem.

“Well - it’s alright. I’m here. I’m safe aren’t I? He was probably just scoping the place out, he probably thought you were there and - ”

You were rambling, and most of what you were saying was untrue. You both knew the reason that Sabini was there, it was a message, a warning. A threat to Tommy that he could take away his weakness with one snap of his slimy little fingers.

You shrugged off your apron, and stepped towards him, shaking your head. “We knew that one day this would happen. That people would find out, it’s not your fault Tom.”

“We were stupid. We were reckless.”

“And what? We were supposed to just stop living our lives in case somebody saw us?”

“Not just somebody. Somebody who could fucking kill you.”

“Tommy.”

“You need to leave.”

“Listen to me -”

“I’ll get Bernard to drive you to the station. Your friend...” He paused momentarily, trying to remember a name he had heard in passing. “Sarah? She still lives in Manchester doesn’t she? You’ll stay with her till I’ve sorted this out.”

You scoffed, your eyes the size of dinner plates.“I’m not leaving.” You tried to make him see sense, but you were having a hard time keeping your voice levelled. “I’ve got work, Tom. I can’t just up and leave.”

He ignored you. You could see his brain whirring a mile a minute, the wheels inside his mind frantically looking for a solution. You marched over to him, forcing him to look at you. “I’m not scared.”

“Well then you’re a fool.”

“Am I? For not running at the first sign of danger?”

“Don’t fucking start with me. Not about this. This isn’t some fucking game.”

“I never said it was, Tom. But what? I’m supposed to hide out in another fucking city until all of this settles down.”

“Stop being so fucking difficult.”

“I’m not being difficult. I know what I signed up for, we both did. We knew this would happen eventually.”

“And now that is has - we have to be smart.”

“Not everything in life is a business deal.”

“What would you know about that?”

It was a low blow. Something that struck you like a winning punch to the gut, you stepped back from the impact, shaking your head and pursing your lips. You’ll let him brew in his anger, let him get worked up and pissed off, and you’ll wait for his apology in a few days, something expensive and designer showing up at your front door, his way of saying “I’m sorry I was such an asshole.”

“You know what? I’m leaving. Call me in a few days when you get your head fucking screwed back on. We can talk then.”

“No.”

It came out strangled, like the word sliced the inside of his throat when he said it.

“What?”

“You need to stay away. We need to end this.”

“End this?” You scoffed. “What? Like we’re just a business deal?”

“It’s not safe, and I can’t do anything that’s going to jeopardise the company.”

“The fucking company?” You were furious, your body stinging with hurt, feeling betrayal wash over you like sour milk. “How - How dare you!”

“I think it’s best if we spend some time apart.”

“So this is it then? You’ll throw away everything just because some fucking man has been looking around corners?” His silence made you more enraged, and you willed him to fight back. Fight for you. “Do you want me to leave? Do you want me to go, Tom?”

Silence.

And then - “It’s not safe.”

“Fuck you.”

That was the last thing you had said to him. Three words replaced with two that shattered around the room like an earthquake. You had tears in your eyes, and you rushed upstairs to pack your things, your heart breaking into sharp little pieces inside of you. He could hear the start of your sobs, the ones you tried so hard to muffle with your hand and he truly fucking hated himself. He gripped the marble above the fireplace and steadied his breathing, pushing out any thoughts of the weekend. He willed himself to shove away the happy memories, the sound of your laugh and the smell of your skin, the way he didn’t hear the shovels when you were beside him, safe and warm in his arms.

He needed to do what he did best, regain control and protect those he cared about, and right at the fucking top of the list was you. Any niggles of rationality and guilt telling him that pushing you away was wrong quickly turned to ash in his mind, he was certain that this was the right thing to do, despite the way that it really fucking hurt. He had to keep you safe. Men like him didn’t get to have nice things like you.

So he shut the door to his office, muffling the sound of you rummaging around upstairs, a part of you wishing and hoping that he would open the door and kiss you and apologise, and instead he picked up the phone, and went back to work.

———————————————————————

You woke up to sunlight painting your skin, and an empty bed, the silk sheets in disarray and bundled beside your bare body.

Oh fuck.

Like an ice cold bucket of water dropping over your head, you remembered every detail of what had happened overnight. Your skin relived the feeling of hands and fingertips and oh god, tongue dragging all across you, branded into your memory like a burn. It was the best nights sleep you had gotten in a long time, and the bed was so warm and soft and smelling like sin that you struggled to even lift your head from the pillow to check the time.

Mid morning.

You hadn’t slept in this long for a while, and you knew the reason why. Head slightly pounding from too much alcohol and adrenaline, you crawled out of bed, washing the remnants of last nights makeup from your face and pulling on your crumpled dress and stockings that had been haphazardly flung over the furniture. Your heart lurched a little when you freshened up in the bathroom and noticed your toothbrush still in the holder on the sink, right next to his.

You could hear cluttering downstairs and followed the noise, standing in the doorway of the kitchen, unable to stop the small smile that the sight gave you. He had evidently sent Mary on an errand, something far away so he could make you both breakfast in peace, away from prying eyes. He looked so boyish, so domestic, his shirt sleeves rolled up to his elbows, nimble fingers turning the bacon on the pan, his hair mussed from sex and sleep. It made you feel like you had swallowed a match. Your whole body alight from seeing him so gentle and vulnerable, so bare for just you to see.

Thomas Shelby whisking eggs and squeezing oranges, barefoot in his own kitchen, the sight rarer than a unicorn, and you were the only person who ever got close enough.

“Hi.” It left your mouth awkwardly and rolled off your tongue like an ice cube.

“Morning.” He turned and smiled, his lazy eyes trawling the length of your body. You hadn’t noticed it, but he felt a flicker of hurt that you were in your own clothes, a part of him wanting and hoping that you would be in one of his shirts, something that he loved much more than he could comprehend. He shook his head, willing the thoughts away. “It’ll be done soon. I think I’ve burnt the toast though, and probably added too much salt to the eggs.”

You smiled thinly, the light not reaching your eyes. This was all too much, all too soon. He was here and he was beautiful and you were right at the frontline, ready to get your heart broken all over again.“Last night,” You cleared your throat, as though the words were lodged deep inside. “It was a mistake.”

He didn’t blink, cool stare focused on the meal he was preparing, long fingers methodically slicing and dicing, as though your words didn’t make his heart thump against his rib cage. He didn’t like it, not one bit, the way that it sounded as though you regretted the time you had spent together. He never wanted you to feel like that, like the intimacy you had shared was something crude, as though you were a one night stand of a drunken fuck at a bar, this was so much more than that. This was love.

But Tommy liked holding his cards to his chest, and it was much easier to tease you then tell the truth.

“It didn’t feel like a mistake. You seemed to be enjoying yourself.”

You scoffed, hating his cockiness yet knowing that he was obviously right. “Don’t be a twat, Tommy.”

The ghost of a smile on his face, if you had blinked you might have missed it, but you were always the best person at reading him - the only person he had let close enough to see him, flaws and all. He always liked when you bickered with him, his little firecracker. He didn’t tolerate just anyone speaking to him the way you did, but he would let you get away with bloody murder and he couldn’t deny that it didn’t bring a flush to his cheeks when you got particularly feisty.

You opened your mouth to speak but he cut you off, his hands full with cutlery and plates filled with slap up breakfast foods, and you couldn’t deny that your mouth was watering.

“Eat first. We’ll talk later.”

You let out a sound halfway between a huff and a groan but caved in, clambering into the seat he had pulled open for you and piling your fork high. He watched you with a smile, the way you looked so young and pretty and angelic in the morning light, no makeup on and eyes still drowsy with sleep, like some kind of Renaissance painting he wanted to hang above his fireplace and stare at whenever things got rough.

He filled the silence with small talk, noting the weather and a story about one of John’s kids hiding a puppy in her room for almost a week without anyone noticing. You listened as best as you could, but you were distracted by the palomino mare you could see grazing in the fields behind his house, and something was prickling at your skin like brambles.

You cleared your throat, acting as nonchalant as you could muster. “Emma tells me that May Carlton is training your new mare.” Your knife sliced through your yolk, rich butter yellow bleeding across your plate. You tried to keep your voice steady, but you could feel the thickness in your throat as you remembered how it hurt like a bullet wound when your best friend had told you of his new associate. “I hear she is quite beautiful.”

“Yes, I suppose she is.” He murmured, cutting the edge of fat from his bacon. “But she’s nothing compared to you.”

You tried to pretend that his words didn’t make you swoon, and he tried to hide how much he loved it when you got jealous, something about the fire in your eyes making him want to push you up against a wall and kiss you till you couldn’t talk.

He paused, a coy smile on his lips. “Have you been keeping tabs on me?”

You scoffed. “Well, it’s only fair. What with all those Blinders following me. Can’t even go to the bloody shops without one watching me.”

So you had noticed. He had half been expecting a blazing call where you yelled at him for having men watch over you, and it had left a hole of disappointment in his gut when it never came.

“You know I would never let you be unprotected.”

“I know.”

Your eyes met, a wave of warm affection washed over the both of you, but you pulled your gaze back quickly, focusing your attention anywhere else.

“You should come and watch her.”

You froze, wondering if Tommy had just invited you to spend the day with May Carlton, you were sure that would be one evening that would end in blood and tears.

“The mare.” He said, picking up at your uncomfortableness and biting back a smile. “We’ve called her ‘Wicked Gypsy’, and she is brilliant. I reckon she could win the whole bloody thing.”

You liked how passionate he got when he talked about horses. Liked the way that he seemed to light up like a child, despite all the finery and bravado, you liked knowing that the little boy inside of him was still there, hidden deep, deep down, but still there. You were too busy being captivated by him that it took you a moment to realise that he had asked you to join him at the races.

You wanted nothing more, you truly wanted nothing more than to be his girl again. Cradled under his arm, dressed in lace and fur, his lips pressed to the heat of your throat, sweet little words whispered in your ear, a hand tight and possessive around your waist - but it just wasn’t that easy.

You sighed, crossing your cutlery. “Tom. I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

“I want you there. I need my good luck charm.”

“Tommy, after everything. I don’t think we should.”

Firmer now, he looks at you, emphasising his point.“I need you there. When she wins, I need my best girl to be right by my side.”

He was so slippery. So sickly sweet that you could drown in him, struggle to move in the molasses that dripped from his tongue. He was dangerous, carnal fire and sin, but he wasn’t lying, he needed you, really fucking needed you.

You exhaled, thinking things through, and massaging the migraine brewing in your temples. He could see you trying to think of an excuse, another lie about how you’re bad for each other, but he got there first, not wanting to hear it.

“I’ll have a car pick you up on Friday.” He turned his hands so his palms were facing the ceiling, eyebrows raised playfully, “Or... maybe you can stay here the night. You know you’re welcome.”

Always so bloody charming. But you can’t stop the tsunami of thoughts, the mistakes of the past. “What is this, Tommy? What are we doing?”

“I fucked up. I never should have let you go.”

“But you did. And - I don’t want to get hurt all over again.”

“I won’t hurt you.”

“You always do.”

You words stung him worse than if you had slapped him across the face, and he had to take a moment to swallow the sour taste that had been swimming across his tongue. He reached his hands out, clasping them with yours, so large and warm and safe, and he spoke with intensity.

“Just - Come with me, Friday. Please. I can’t do this without you.”

Friday. Suddenly it was no longer about slipping up or falling back in love and wondering what your friends might think when you told them, it was about something else that you needed to tell him.

“I can’t.”

“You can’t? Why not?”

“I’m leaving.”

“Leaving? Leaving where?” His tone was one of disbelief, his eyes sizing you up, wondering if this was some kind of elaborate excuse.

You sighed, taking your hands away from under his, noticing the lack of warmth immediately. “To Oxford. Peggy transferred me to the company over there.”

“Why would she do that?”

“Because I asked her to.”

“You did what?”

You could see him thinking, wondering how none of his boys had found out this priceless piece of information that makes him want to throw his expensive fucking china at the wall.

“I did it all through work. Emma’s the only one who knew. I’m getting the train Wednesday night.”

He stood up so quickly his chair squealed across the wood floor, his mouth agape. “So what? You’re just going to leave?”

“There’s nothing here for me.”

He pointed one finger at you, scolding you like a child. “Don’t say that.”

You narrowed your eyes, shaking your head. “It’s true isn’t it? Why should I waste more time on this stupid cat and mouse game?”

“Is that all this is to you? A game?”

“You left me. For three months I was completely alone! What happens when something comes up, huh? How do I know that you won’t leave me all over again?” It was hard to keep the emotion from your voice, hard not to show just how badly the impact of those three months had been. “We need this! Some...some fucking space. Maybe being a few cities away will be good.”

It was a lie. Nothing sounded worse, but you had to say your piece because god knows you can’t keep holding everything in.

His voice was frayed, split like the hairs in an old rope. “Don’t. Don’t give me space. That’s the last thing I want from you.”

His words and his actions never lined up, and it made your blood boil. All of the anger you had turned into tears had remoulded into red hot rage, and you slammed your hands down on his expensive counter tops, flesh on marble ringing around the kitchen. “So then why did you let me go? Why did you tell me to leave?”

“Because I thought that was best for you!”

“You aren’t the one who gets to decide that!”

“Everything I do. Everything I fucking do - is to protect you.”

“Don’t say that. Protecting me isn’t making me leave, and then not speaking to me for three fucking months.”

You could see the click in his jaw, the vein in his throat throbbing. “You knew what you signed up for when you met me.”

“No, actually, I don’t think I did.”

It was true. You expected late nights, days of no contact, blood staining your bathroom counter and men watching your every move. You expected fights and make ups, going to the races in your finery and then walking down the shit filled streets of Small Heath, but you never expected that he would just leave you the way he did.

He was breathless, trying to control the rise and fall of his chest and the way that his fingers clenched. He never thought that you would leave, he had some fucked up feeling that you would always come back to him, that the two of you would always end up on the same ship, drifting along the same ocean. It was maddening. He had tasted you once again, had you under him, his girl reduced to putty in his hands. It had all made sense, the night seemed to be sweeter and the stars a little brighter and his lungs a little looser when you were next to him. It had all felt so right, and now you were going to leave.

He put it down to exasperation at not being in control anymore, the fact that he was watching you slip between his fingers once again like grains of sand, and so he said the worst thing he thought of, something that he knew would rip through you like a shot to the heart.

“Well at least I got one last fuck eh? That was all you were really any good for anyway.”

He could hear it immediately, the sound of the bullet leaving the gun, or perhaps that’s your heart shattering in two. He regretted it, he regretted it so badly that he wished he could pull the words back down his throat and swallow them like they were poison.

Your eyes watered but you didn’t let him see you cry. Your mouth opened and then closed not wanting to waste your breath on a reply, not wanting to hurt him the way he’d hurt you. You didn’t bother with a reply, not trusting yourself enough to talk, only wanting to be alone to like your wounds in peace. So you turned and left, last nights heels echoing through the hallway, the sound of the front door creaking open and slamming shut, silence falling once again.

Tommy pushed the plates off the table.

—————————————————————————-

Wednesday night and you were listening to your favourite record, something to distract you from the suitcase you were packing. Since the fight you hadn’t heard from Tommy, the first thing you’d packed had been your phone, pulling it off the wall as soon as you got home, not wanting to be on edge waiting for his call.

You didn’t allow yourself the time to wallow, refused to let yourself be beaten up by the words he had said, the ones that hung around your head like dead files. You hated that you let him speak to you that way, and you also hated that you missed him with every bone in your body.

Lilac, sapphire and emerald green. You threw your clothes together, watching the colours fade into a blur. You hadn’t packed anything he had given you, but you didn’t want to throw them out either and so they sat in a lonely purgatory in your wardrobe; a little gift to the next tenant.

You knew who was there the second the doorbell rang. Well, rang three times. The sound so shrill and violent that you tipped your head back in frustration. You considered leaving him outside in the summer rain, but soon the rings were switched with incessant knocking, your door surely about to break from the weight of his fists.

“Fucking hell.” You seethed, dropping your shoes onto the floor and stepping over the piles of toiletries stacked in the hallway. “Fuck you, Tom.”

You wanted to say those three words to him as soon as you opened the door, hoping your eyes reflected the anger bubbling inside of you, but he cut you off with a sigh of relief.

“Thank fuck you’re still here.”

“Not for long.”

You tried to shut the door, you really did, but he pushed past and into your flat with little effort.

“Get out, Tom. Now.”

He spun round to face you, and you finally got a good look at him. He looked rough, frazzled almost. His hair messy and his shirt ruffled and his eyes were mostly white, frantically watching your face.

“I fucked up. I fucked everything up.”

“You came all this way just to tell me that?”

“I should have followed you sooner. I should have followed you the second you walked through that door.”

You quirked an eyebrow in challenge. “Which time?”

He spread his hands out, biting down on his tongue. “Don’t go. Don’t leave.”

You sighed, kicking a stray shampoo bottle with your feet, something to fill the emptiness that surrounded you. “I’ve made up my mind.”

He moved one step closer and you moved one step back. “Is this what you really want?”

“We can’t always get what we want.”

“That’s bullshit.”

You threw your hands up in despair. “I’m not doing this with you now, Tommy. My train leaves in an hour and I have my first day tomorrow and I don’t want to fuck it all up.”

“If it’s what you really want, then you should go. But don’t leave if it’s all because of me.”

You scoffed. “Oh, don’t flatter yourself.”

“And I’m not going to let you go without telling you that I love you. I really fucking love you.”

“Tommy.” It’s a warning. It’s a threat. But it hangs between you both, lingering in the air like smoke.

“I know you love me too. I know you do. I also know that I’m a massive twat who fucked everything up, but I’m not letting you get away, not again.”

You're exasperated. His words like honey, but you’re scared that that’s all they are, and you’re more scared that they might be so much more. “Why should I believe anything you say?”

“Because I’m telling the truth. I don’t care about anything. Nothing matters to me more than you. I don’t care if Sabini has men outside my house every fucking night, you’re only safe with me, and I can only do this with you by my side.”

“Talk is cheap.”

“If I have to spend every day proving how much you mean to me then I will. I can’t - I can’t be without you.”

He was so close to you. Your noses almost touching, the hair on your arms and your spine sticking up, something electric about him. You want to hate him but you can’t. Not when he’s standing in your dimly lit hallway, looking dishevelled and beautiful and dare you say, broken. The edge of his jawline caught the light, shimmering like a jewel, and the pools in his eyes were so sincere and so deeply blue that you wanted to fall right into them.

Were you going to do this? Were you going to let him in again? You thought of everything - rain splattered kisses, dancing under the pale moonlight, sour whisky in the corner of his office. You thought of all of the chaos, all of the blood, all of the family arguments and shouting that echoed around his manor. You thought of all the tears you had shed, all the times your throat had been raw and your heart shattered into pieces. You thought of strawberry fields and his hand in yours, laughing with his brothers until you couldn’t breathe, the way that he felt and smelt and spoke like home.

It had been bad, but it was also the best thing you had ever been a part of.

You sighed loudly, clicking your tongue, meeting him somewhere in the middle. “Fuck. I’m never going to get my deposit back.”

His whole body trembled, relief coming from every pore, and he made a vow to go to Church with Pol on Sunday and thank whoever was listening for getting you back. “Well you’re moving in with me so there’s nothing to worry about.”

You rolled your eyes, his large hands wrapping around your jaw, making you look at him. He smelt like woodsmoke and peppermint, like a million bad decisions and the tang of a smoking barrel. It took everything in you to not buckle at the knees and let him carry you like a child.

“You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me.” He cradled your face, hoping his words came off as strongly out loud as they did in his head. He’s not going to fuck up again, but even he can’t stop his brain from short circuiting at the sight of you, so pretty with your doe eyes and raspberry lips, the skin on your throat just begging for the tug of his teeth.

You buried your head in his chest when he pulled you close, your words muffled through the cotton of his shirt. “If you ever speak to me like that again I’ll rip your fucking balls off.”

A soft smile, one that washes over him like warm candlelight. “I know.”

He’s not letting you go, not again. You’re a fucking part of him, like the blood that runs through his veins and the steady thump of his chest, you’re a part of his body, the reason why he can breathe and run and love. You’re the thing that stops the tremor in his hands, the thing that makes him so unshakeable, so tough and in control.

He had something to fight for.

And only knowing that you’re by his side, safe and warm and pressed into the crook of his body, does he finally allow himself to exhale.

#tommy shelby oneshot #tommy shelby imagine #thomas shelby imagine #thomas shelby x reader #thomas shelby oneshot #peaky blinders imagine #peaky blinders oneshot #orion writes

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warmau · 4 years

Text

★ donation request: suburbia summer nights house party!au jaehyun

the summer night air is too sticky and too sweet for your liking

you had opened your window hoping to chill down your room, but it was even hotter outside than it was inside

even still, you keep the window open and the curtains pushed back, leaning the upper half of your body out to the empty streets of the neighborhood you’ve lived in since you were born

it is quiet - like always

until you hear something rustle below

you look down and your eyes widen, standing in your mothers beloved rose bushes is the familiar face of something - well someone - you’ve also known since you were born

johnny waves at you and from behind his broad shoulders peeks mark lee

“bro, we shouldn’t be here - what if their parents-”

marks paranoid whispering is loud enough that even you hear it, so you bring your finger up to your lips

johnny ignores the younger boys trifling and motions for you to come out

you know your parents are probably either working in the kitchen or watching tv in the living room

there’s no way in hell you’re going to be able to walk out the front door, so your only means of escape are making it down the rickety old water pipe on the side of the house closest to your room

you’ve done it before so you’re not scared or anything - but still, you aren’t exactly sure what those two are up to

you grab your phone and text johnny:

why are you trespassing in my backyard :P

house party @ jaehyuns

you swallow - jung jaehyun - another familiar name

not interested, now go before you get caught and my dad flings a shovel at you or something

mark starts tugging on johnny’s shirt as soon as they both read the message

but johnny stays put

c’mon, don’t you like jaehyun?

you furrow your eyebrows and glare down at johnny, who just grins up at you with the kind of smile you know means trouble

dude i don’t like jaehyun, im just not in a party mood

fine - can you come for like an hour then? don’t leave me alone with mark you know he doesn’t know how to party

“hey!”

mark jumps back in offense and you shush him from your window as johnny playfully pulls him into a headlock at his side and ruffles his hair

you don’t text back, just slip your phone in your back pocket and look at yourself one last time in your mirror

you’re wearing a t-shirt thats too big with the local fishing shops logo on it and beat up old chucks with doodles on it from two years ago

really, not a party outfit, but you’re going for an hour so you don’t care

you quickly lock your door and slip through the window

johnny gives a little dance of victory as you make your way down that old pipe and lets go of mark to sling his hand over your shoulder

“are we walking to jaehyuns?”

you ask when you’re safely out of earshot of your house but johnny just shakes his head

“nah, he’s driving us there.”

“he’s w-”

as you turn the corner of the street you see jaehyun’s car

its nothing flashy, but you know its his because its got that dumb handmade sticker of johnny’s garage band name on the bumper and plus he’s got the driver car door open, leaning against it looking-

damnit why does he look good without even trying

you push back the thought and want to throw another glare johnny’s way - but he misses it as he reaches out to take jaehyun’s hand

the two of them bump shoulders and johnny makes a joke about how hard he had to try to convince you to come out

you keep back a little and jump a bit when mark asks

“is everything ok?”

“yeah, just worried my parents might have heard us.”

marks face pales and he climbs into the backseat of the car - you follow him and try not to look at jaehyun

although you feel his eyes move to you past johnny’s shoulder

once you’re all piled in, jaehyun says his house is already half trashed. he left doyoung in charge back there but he knows no one ever listens to him so he expects you’ll all be arriving to a shitshow

you half listen, looking out the window and at the houses of families you know

at least the window of a moving car is much cooler than the cemented window of your bedroom

but the real reason behind your distance is because right now ,,,,, jaehyun is the last person you want to see

it had all started last summer, jaehyun had moved to your town and had befriended johnny instantly

and with johnny’s friendship came your friendship (and mark’s, and practically the whole schools but - you and johnny were joined at the hip so it was different)

but it became quickly and almost embarrassingly obvious that what you and jaehyun felt toward each other was not

what you and johnny felt toward each other

you could easily jump on johnny’s back, have him piggyback you through the huge aisles of the local walmart, you could easily share food with johnny from the same plate, you could easily fall asleep on johnny’s bed as he and mark played video games on the floor

but with jaehyun - there was a sheepishness

not because you weren’t best friends but because you saw him and felt nervous

you saw johnny and felt delight, thats someone you’d be friends with forever

you saw jaehyun and felt a flurry of butterflies swarm around your stomach, thats someone you wanted to kiss

and it was like everyone was waiting for it to happen. everyone was just holding their breath.

some people had even tried to ask jaehyun out, but he had declined and it just solidified the entire towns prediction that you and him would end up being a thing

but

when he had a chance, he blew it

it had been a house party just like the one you were going to now and you and jaehyun had walked off a little away from all the music and noise

you were wearing those bracelets he’d gifted you and he was toying with one on your hand

you could have sworn that in that moment you were going to hear the words

“do you want to go out with me?” leave his lips, no matter how coy he was being and how playful this push and pull had been

the flirtatious glances, the midnight texts, the tension of it all had come to this and now

all you were bracing yourself to just say was yes

when instead he had chuckled and asked,

“can you believe everyone wants us to date?”

you couldn’t read his tone - you’d just blinked at him, was he being for real?

instead of answering him or even acknowledging the awkwardness of the situation

you’d walked away

you’d pulled the bracelets off your wrist and let them drop to the grass. jaehyun had been confused, grabbing your wrist and asking what was wrong all of a sudden

the last thing you had said to him was

“everything's just a game to you isn’t it?”

there were no words and no more messages after that. you had avoided him like hot fire and had succeeded in dodging all of johnny or marks attempts to make you all hangout together again

you’d agreed to go to this party for an hour because you had planned to just get lost in the crowd before he could spot you and then leave

you didn’t know you’d be stuck in his car, personal damn chauffeur service to his house

you hear the party before you even see it - music blaring from inside and peoples voices like an annoying symphony of shouts and chants

mark gets out first and you try to scramble so you won’t end up somehow alone with jaehyun

nearly pushing poor mark onto the curb

“hey!”

“im going to go see if uh - whats his name - uh jungwoo is here.”

you make up an excuse before either of the three boys can say a word

you turn the corner, around the pool that you’ve hung out with jaehyun and everyone else at a hundred times and the weird circle of garden gnomes he’s moms put out

you know the layout like its your own house and are happy to see that the wooded part toward the end of his yard is pretty empty - the hammock that you and johnny had helped him tie up a while ago is unoccupied

“thank god”

you plop yourself in it and close your eyes, the sounds are duller out here and you dont have the chance of rubbing shoulders with other drunk teenagers or you know who

your phone buzzes in your back pocket but you dont bother to check it

instead you stare up through the leaves at the bright slice of moon

how’d i get in this situation?

you lay a hand on your stomach and tap your fingers as you think about how you’re going to kill time

the noise of giggling passes by you and you assume a couple is going to pass by to fool around in the woods

could have been me and jaehyun if he hadn’t been such a dumba-

you sit up a little and shake your head

you had done such a good job so far. you really hadn’t thought about him at all.

well, well you had thought about him but you just - you weren’t going to coddle yourself into expecting anything ever again

it would just hurt when the day came around and he flat out rejected you

you sink back down and close your eyes - maybe just napping through this dumb party will

“dude they’re so fucking mad at me.”

“nah bro, i bet they’re just tired or something-”

“no johnny, i fucked up.”

you open your eyes and strain a bit at the sound of the voices that are coming closer and closer to your spot

they sound just like-

“what exactly did you do then jaehyun?”

“i said the wrong thing-”

“just said?”

there’s a pause and now you’re sure this is who you think it is

“just said or did you hurt them. jaehyun you’re a cool dude or whatever but if you laid a hand on them-”

the drop of the voice only comes for one person when they’re rallying to get angry

“no johnny, i would never. i just - remember that party a couple months ago. the one at taeyongs.”

“yeah?”

“i was going to ask them out, and then i just blanked like they were looking at me and instead of just kissing them i said ‘haha isn’t it funny everyone wants us to date?’ because like im dumb - i dont know i couldnt think!”

a second of silence passes by and then is followed by johnny’s long and relaxed laugh

“you totally did fuck up!”

“i know, and now i dont know how to make it bet-”

johnny and jaehyun’s footsteps are now only a few feet away - in the darkness of the night you’re sure they haven’t noticed the lump of you in the hammock

not until you suddenly feel it tip over as someones shadow looms over

“DONT YOU DARE SIT ON ME JOHNNY SUH!”

you shout and johnny screams - before stuttering back and bursting into another loud laugh

“oh my god THEY WERE HERE THE WHOLE TIME?”

jaehyun, even though its dark, goes red at the realization

“d-did you hear us?”

you swing your legs out and jump out of the hammock - johnny, who is still laughing at the circumstance, can’t help but back away a little holding himself in a fit

you nod

“yeah i heard and for the record - you were being dumb when you said that to me.”

jaehyun opens his mouth but shuts it because he has no way of protesting it

“but i guess being dumb is kind of part of your charm”

you cross your arms and jaehyun’ shoulders perk up a little

“so you’re not mad at me?”

“i was but, i mean, im a very forgiving person and you can have this second chance to ask me out-”

“yeah just don’t fuck it up jaehyun”

johnny’s voice comes between chuckles before you motion for him to go

he gives you two a thumbs up and leaves, mumbling that he has to tell mark about all this

and as you and jaehyun are alone with the back drop of his house party

you put your hand out and jaehyun takes it in his

“so, let me try again - instead of everyone saying we should date i want you to know that i want to-”

“yes”

you lean up and take his face with both hands, pressing your lips to his and finally

freaking finally

kissing jaehyun

the summer night air is still sticky and sweet and you aren’t a big fan, but the way jaehyun’s lips are a perfect taste makes all of that wash away

his hands circle your own and he picks you up swiftly as your legs wrap around his waist

now this - this is what you had expected months ago, but you don’t mind because its finally happening now

when you and jaehyun return to the packed house

the whole party stops when johnny screams

“EVERYONE CHEER FOR THE TOWNS LOVEBIRDS!”

and both you and jaehyun go wide eyed

not before you take chase after your best friend - threatening to get him and mark just pats jaehyun’s back like

“looks like you didn’t mess up this time!”

jaehyun grins and scratches his neck, yeah - looks like he didn’t.

#jaehyun au #jaehyun scenarios #jaehyun imagines #nct 127 au #nct 127 imagines #nct 127 scenarios #member: jaehyun #sfw #donation commissions

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zmayadw · 3 years

Text

And the second :)

Wish you all a nice evening :)

CALL OF THE RAVEN

PART 12

I got awakened in the morning by my phone ringing. I sleepily tried to find it with my hand, still covered over the head. Wen i felt it with my fingers, i draged it under the covers to my ear, ansewring with hoarse voice „Hello?“ „Dont tell me you're still sleeping?“ Jessys cheerful voice chimed from the other side. „I was up working till 3am, ofcourse i'm still sleeping.“ I told her, as i slowly started to get out of bed. „What time is it, anyway?“ i asked. „Its 10. I got back to Duskwood a while ago, tought you might like to join me for coffee.“ „Sure, Jessy, if you give me like half hour or so to get ready and meet you in the center.“ „Great!“ she chimed „I'll text you where i'll be. See you soon.“ „Cya, Jessy.“

I got out of bed, and went to bathroom. When finished, i got dressed and took my phone and wallet, got the cary keys and left the motel. As i was driving towards the towns center, i tought i actualy might do some shoping. I didnt really pack much of my fancy stuff, and i cant really show up at the Aurora in jeans all the time. As i parked, Jessy sent a message to meet her at the Rainbow Cafe. It wasnt far from where i parked, so i was there in few minutes. We hugged as i got there, and i ordered a sandwich and coffee. She told me about her visit to her sister. She was happy to see her, they dont meet as much as Jessy would like because of her work, and i could relate with her. I told her Phil called me for Auroras party. „Ohh, thats tonight, i completly forgot about it!“ Jessy scolded on herself „Good thing you reminded me.“ I smiled at her „I need some shopping to do, i dont have anything to weare tonight!“ i said, and Jessy added teasingly „Well, we better go find you something sexy then, you never know who just might show up at the Aurora tonight.“ I smiled at her, knowing exactly who was she talking about. I hoped Jake might show up, even tho the chances for it wer close to non. Never the less, one can hope, right? „So, i am not wrong when i assume you will join me?“ i asked teasingly. „Ofcourse you're not wrong!“ she said cheerfully „I might get myself a thing or two.“ We laughed, paid for our coffees and went shopping. We found what we wanted quite fast, wich i was glad for. Jessy walked me to my car, and we arranged to meet at the Aurora arround 23. I got back at the motel, grabbing myself a pizza on the way. I decided to take a shower first then eat. After i finished with pizza I still had some time to kill before getting ready, so i just putted some music on and surfed the net a bit. When it got time to get ready, i took out the dress i bought. It was black, up to knee of lenght, tight to follow your body lines. I put it on, and opened the wardrobe, wich had a big mirror on one of the doors inside. Damn, Jessy wasnt lying, i was looking good! I luckily got my black boots with me, wich went great with the dress. I've put on some make up, and my lipgloss, winking and blowing myself a kiss in the mirror as i was done. I was in a good mood, and why wouldnt i be, i was looking smoking hot! I put on some of my favorite parfume, and was ready. But my mood faded a bit when my phone rang, and i saw a hidden number again. This is getting ridicolous, i tought before i answered. „Hello? Who is this?“ But nothing, silence from the other side again. I got a bit frustrated with those calls now, so i hissed in my phone „Look, who ever this is, either say something, or fuck off already!“ There was a moment of silence before the call was ended by a misterious caller. Good riddence, i tought, pouring myself a glass of water. I have to admit, those calls became irritating, and a bit of sinister feeling crawled at me because of them. I drank some water and took a deep breath to calm dawn. Im not gonna let that thing ruin my evening. I checked myself once more in the mirror; all good, ready to go. I decided to take my jacket, the nights wer still pretty chilly.I took my phone and wallet, putted all in my purse, grabbed the car keys and left the motel. I decided to go with my car, and just go easy with drinks tonight.

Phil wasnt lying when he said Aurora would be pretty packed for the night. I got there a bit earlier, little past 22, and already a lot of people showed up. As i was walking towards the bar, someone called my name, and i turned to see Hannah waveing to me from one of the booths. She was there with some friends i didnt know, Thomas ofcourse, and Lily. And to my surprise, Jake was with them, too. I smiled to myself, what was it i tought earlier, one can hope, right?. As i waved her back still walking towards the bar, i could notice Jakes gaze following me. Seeing me dressed like this didnt leave him indiferrently. Good, i tought, and smiled again to myself, this might actualy be a very interesting night. As i got close to the bar, Phil noticed me, and just stoped what he was doing. He checked me from toes to head, his stare intensifing, and i could feel that heat spreading through my body again. I grined at him, saying teasingly as i got to the bar „Want a tissue? You're drooling a bit.“ Phils eyes got that devilish spark in them „Can you blame me? You look amazing, Maya!“ „Aww, thanks, Phil.“ I i said smiling. „And i'm not the only one who noticed it, by the way. There wer quite a few eyes on you just now!“ he said, winking at me. I grinned „Good, so i definatly didnt go wrong with my outfit for tonight.“ „Definatly didnt.“ He grinned back, that devilish spark in his eyes intensifing. „Go sit down, i saved you two seats at the end of the bar.“ He told me „I'll join you in a minute.“ „Thanks, Phil.“ I smiled, and went to the bars end. I laughed out loud when i saw two papers taped on the stools with the writting on them 'Reserved for VIP'. I took the paper down from one and sat. Phil came, sitting on the stool next to me, bringing with him two full shot glasses. „It is a party, afterall, we have to drink to that.“ He told me, grining devilishly. I laughed „Excusses, excusses.“ „Aww, c'mon, but its a good one.“ He said. I looked at him, shaking my head, taking one of the glasses, raising it up to him „ Well, to Aurora then!“ „Indeed!“ he replied, as we knocked our glasses together and drank. „So“ i started „i'm a VIP, huh.“ „Ofcourse you are.“ He said, winking. I shook my head at him, smiling „You really know how to make a girl feel special.“ He grinned, looking intensly at me „You've seen nothing yet.“ My cheeks flushed, and i was relieved when one of the waiters came to our end of the bar, asking if Phil could come for a second, and he excused himself. He got back in less then a minute, coming from the other side of the bar „What can i get you to drink, gorgeous? I have to leave you for a while to take care of something, dont want you to get thursty on me.“ He said smiling. „Hmm, i'll have a glass of white whine, thank you.“ „Something sweeter is your thing, right?“ he said, winking at me. „Well, mister barkeep, you read my mind.“ I repleid grinning at him. He took a wine glass filling it „Here you go, gorgeous, hope you like it. Now, excuse me for a moment.“ He winked before leaving.

As Phil left, i took my phone out, checking the time, seeing Jessy sent me a message she and Dan will be here soon. I took a sip of my wine, and it was really good, Phil did guess my taste for sure. All of a sudden, someone sat next to me, and i turned, getting a bit surprised at seeing who it was. „Lily?“ i looked at her a bit bewildered. „Am i interupting you?“ she asked. „Uhm, no, is everthing ok?“ i aked, wondering why she might possibly be here. „Yes, everything is fine“ she started „Amm, can we talk for a minute?“ she said, and i could notice she was a bit fidgety. „I guess so.“ I said, still pretty puzzled by it. A moment of silence passed, before she started. „Well, i actualy want to appologize to you, for my behavour last time.“ I almost choked with my drink, looking at her, eyes wide in bewilderment „You do?“ „Yes, well..“ she started „I overreacted. I mean, everything was still fresh, and i'v let emotions take over me a bit too much.“ She looked at me now, and i could see she was being sencere. I was still shocked with what was going on, so i just managed to say „Ok.“ „I shouldnt have lash out at you like i did, and im sorry about it.“ She paused before continuing „And i had a long talk with few people who got me realize that.“ „Let me guess“ i started „Hannah and Thomas?“ „You got Hannah right.“ She told me, and i looked questionable at her. „Well, Jake can get quite insightful.“ I was even more shocked. „Jake?“ i asked „Our Jake? I mean, are we thinking about the same person here?“ i asked, still not sure i heard her correctly. She smiled „Yes, we are. He can be really argumentative and rational. When you get to know him, he is quite a plesant conversator.“ I couldnt belive what she was saying. Is it me thats the problem then, i tought, since it looks like im the only one Jake has problems talking to. I got a bit sadness creeping at me then, and i didnt really wanted to say what i did out loud, but it just sliped out „Guess then i dont know him as much as i tought i did.“ Lily nudged me on my knee, and i looked at her. She smiled gently at me „He likes you.“ „Sorry?“ i said, my mind still trying to process all she told me. „Jake“ she started „He likes you. I know you might not belive it, but its true. When he mentions you, its like his eyes get some special glow in them.“ She saw my disbelief „Look, i know he's not the easiest person to talk to. But give him a chance, and you just might be surprised by him.“ She gave me encouraging smile „And expressing emotions dont come so easy to him, so be patiante. I can see you two care a lot for eachother, and i hope you will be abel to resolve whatever it is that stands in your way.“ She started to get up from the stool, but before she turned to leave i said „Hey, Lily? Thank you for this, i appriciate it.“ She smiled, and i continued „And i hope we can get along from now on, no grudges about anything.“ „I would like that.“ She told me with a smile. „And remember what i told you, just be patiante with him.“ She gave me one more smile, before going back to her booth. I was still pretty shocked with what just happened. Was what she said true? Does Jake really likes me as much as she claims? I was so lost in my toughts,i didnt notice Jessy standing next to me, trying to get my attention. „Earth to Maya.“ She said, when i finaly looked at her, confusion still present all over my face. She looked at me „What was that all about?“ „Huh?“ i managed. „Lily? What did she want?“ I looked at Jessy, still trying to sort everything up in my head „You wouldnt belive me if i told you.“ i said to her, tapping the chair next to me, suggesting for her to sit down. I told Jessy all that happened with Lily, but leaving the Jake part out of it, at least for now. I didnt really want to talk about it at the moment, and i was sure Jessy would have a lot to say. „Well, im glad you two cleared everything up.“ Jessy said „Me too, Jessy. I really had enoughof drama in my life lately, so at least one thing less to worry about.“ „We need a drink to celebrate!“ Jessy chimed cheerfuly, at wich point Phil returned „Did someone say she needs a drink?“ he said at Jessy, grinning. „Ahh, your timing couldnt be more perfect, brother.“ She grined back. Phil took four glasses, filling them with whiskey. Dan joined us then „Oooo, i like where this is going!“ he said cheerfuly, rubbing his hands together, as Phil gave each of us one. „Ohh, no,no“ i started „This one will be it for me, i'v learned my lesson last time.“ „Oh, shush it and just drink.“ It was Jessy saying it, to wich i looked at her astonished, but Dan hugged her „That's my girl!“ She smiled at him and turned to me raising her glass „Bottoms up!“. I laughed, shaking my head before drinking „Ohh, im so not dressed to be walking back to the motel!“

#duskwood fanfic #duskwood mc #duskwood jessy #duskwood dan #duskwood phil #duskwood aurora

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atsumiyass · 3 years

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Hii back 👉👈

Well; I have like two main requests ideas and since I just can't choose, I'll send you both ! You can just choose your favorite or write both, it's reaaalllly like you want ❤ hope I'm not abusing 😳

So, my first request stems from your wonderful Symphony work (that I loved rrallllly really much, you may have understood it). I was wondering if we could have some High school sweet shared moments between Y/N and Todoroki-kun? I have no special demands, but since the end of Symphony is years later, when Reader and Shoto are pro-heroes, I was wondering if we could have a Drabble on some earlier moments, back to the time where Shoto and Reader where in a slow burn process. . . I hope I'm clear .//. And it's if you feel like it, of course !

If you need some examples, it can be some very casual, little yet significant things, like when Reader will call Todoroki "Shoto" for the first time, or vice versa, when they will train together... I just want to melt imagining their little yet intimate shared things ❤

Thank you so much in advance! ❤❤

hey bubs!! i just want to say before you read this thank you so much for your love and support of my work! it brings me so much joy to know you’re enjoying it 🥺 I absolutely loved your ideas and i will be writing your other one very soon! hope this is to your liking and enjoy! <3 - admin venus

Harmony (symphony prequel)

read symphony here!!

synopsis: in which you remember the time you spent with todoroki during your three years at UA.

warnings: so much fluff you might cry from happiness (?)

The moment you met todoroki was like any other interaction for you.

It was your first day at UA high, so like any other first day of school you went around to greet your classmates whom you’d be with for the next three years.

When you got to greeting todoroki, his appearance wasn’t that surprising to you, you actually thought his hair was pretty cool.

Saying hi as politely as you could, you bowed and told him that you looked forward to being with him for the next couple years.

Boy could you have been any more right.

The first time you hung out with todoroki was when he asked you to train with him, saying that “your quirk is the most incompatible to mine”. You assumed that he would make small talk to lighten up the mood, but he did nothing of the sort.

Just training.

You were a little dejected, you wanted to get to know the heterochromatic boy then from a simple introduction. He was closed off and extremely antisocial from what you’ve seen, but you thought after a training session with him he would’ve lightened up a bit.

Guess that wasn’t the case.

A couple more silent training sessions later, he finally attempted at some sort of conversation.

“I like your voice.”

That was all he said, just a simple sentence. You weren’t sure how to respond so you just said a simple “thank you” and continued with what you had been doing previously.

After that he kept talking more, asking about yourself and your interests. But never talking about himself. You assumed it was just his introvert personality leading the conversation.

But in reality, he just really loved to hear your voice.

The first time he asked you to come into the city with him was a surprise to you, it was after school on Friday and you were studying in your dorm room. You heard a knock at your door and there stood Todoroki in his casual wear.

He looked absolutely gorgeous by the way.

He told you that he didn’t want to go alone so he though he would invite you. So, you got dressed and headed out with him. To anyone else it looked like you both were out on a date, and the thought never left your head all night. Making you a blushing mess half the time.

That night in particular, it was cold and you had forgotten to bring a jacket since you were mostly focused on your appearance then belongings. “Are you okay? You’re shivering.” Todoroki asked, a gust of wind blowing in your direction making you shiver more. “I’m fine just, a bit chilly.” You laughed, rubbing your hands on your upper arms. Before you could reassure him, you felt him put his jacket around your arms. “I don’t want you to catch a cold…” He told you, to which you gave him a small smile. “T-thank you Todoroki, that’s very nice of you.” You told him, turning back to look at the sidewalk ahead of you. “You can move closer if you want. I don’t mind.” He said, turning his head to look back at you. “W-what? Theres no need to get closer! I mean we’re already close! Unless you want me to move closer? Or move farther? I-I can do either or.” You stuttered, flustered at the fact he wanted you to move closer to him. “whichever you prefer is fine.” He said in his usual monotone voice. Taking up his offer, you moved closer to touch arms with him. What you didn’t expect was that he would place his arm around your shoulders. You let out a sigh of content and kept walking side by side with him.

What was he thinking? Putting his arm around you? Surely you found it weird, uncomfortable even. But he kept it there, he didn’t want it to be more awkward than it already was.

That night, he went to bed with your scent still lingering around his body, and slept soundly.

“Todoroki….is everything okay? Its pretty late.” You whispered, wrapping your blanket around your frame tighter. It was the middle of your second year and the boy calling you to meet him wasn’t a surprise, but it was the middle of the night. What could he need? “This might sound stupid, but, I had a bad dream….” He said, keeping his eyes locked onto yours. “So a nightmare? Well uh, may I come in?” You asked. he nodded, opening the door wide enough for you to enter. As you walked over and sat on his futon, you examined the Japanese décor until you heard the door shut. “do you maybe wanna, talk about it?” You questioned, as he sat next you. “If you don’t mind, I trust you enough to know.” He said, placing his hands in his lap. So he did. his dream was about his mother, and what had happened in his past, which he also explained. By the end of it, you had tears welling in your eyes.

Todoroki had been through much more then you originally thought.

You offered to stay with him that night, to which he agreed. And there you were, snuggled up with him on the same futon. Maybe it was fate that he didn’t have an extra one, who knows?

What you did know, was that you harbored immense feelings for Todoroki.

December in Japan was always the coldest to you, snow falling and strong winds. But that also meant snow days. “here. be careful, its hot.” Todoroki said as he placed the cup of tea onto the coffee table. “Thank you, Todoroki.” You smiled, taking a sip of the hot liquid. “…Shouto.” He said, almost making you choke on your drink. “W-what?” you stuttered, blinking a few time to make sure you weren’t dreaming. “refer to me as Shouto, if you don’t mind.” He said, also taking a sip of his tea. “But…why?” You whispered, trying to think of reasons why he would want you to call him by his first name. “Well we’re friends aren’t we?” he questioned. “Youre friends with all our classmates though..” you continued. “But, your special to me, so I feel like you should call me by my first name.” He said, his face not faltering for a second.

You…you were special to him?

You felt heat rush to your cheeks after he said that, turning away to hide the red coating your face. “O-okay then, call me by my first name. its only fair.” You quickly said, trying to cover up your flustered voice. When you turned back, you saw him staring at you with a small smile, making your face even redder then it already was. “w-why are you looking at me?! Is there something on my face?” you stumbled over your words, waving your hands over your face. “no, your just a bit red. Are you running a fever?” he asked.

Was he doing this on purpose?

“I'm fine to-shouto.” You said quietly, looking down at your drink. Your mind swirled with thoughts about him, and his words replying in your head like a broken record.

“you’re special to me.”

It was an understatement to say that you could barely sleep that night.

Cherry blossoms coated the grass as a soft breeze blew through the outside. Spring was upon you, along with graduation. Your class was buzzing with excitement. Some have even already started packing up their dorm rooms. “So Shouto, what are your plans for after we graduate?” you asked, spinning around in your desk chair. you were both in your room, hanging out before you had to eventually start packing everything up. “I’m going to work under my father as his sidekick.” He said, looking at some picture of you and your dog on your nightstand. “Woah really?! thats great Shouto!” you exclaimed, stopping your movements to look at him. “What about you?” he asked, to which you smiled. “Ryuku called me to work under her, since she loved my dedication during my work study.” you said, fiddling with your fingers. “Looks like we both have places we’re going.” he said, as you went to go sit next to him on your bed. “Shouto, I know we’ll be far from each other. but I just want you to know, I loved these moments I shared with you.” you told him, taking his hand in yours. “ You’re my closest friend, never forget that.” You continued, looking down at yours and Todorokis hands. “I feel the same. Thank you for being my friend.” He said, as your eyes met his. Time seemed to stop for a moment, just you and him in the room. Alone. You subconsciously started to move your face closer to his, glancing at his lips and back up to his eyes. Your faces were inches apart.

Just a bit closer, and your lips would meet his.

Just a bit closer and he would finally understand how you-

“hey you lovebirds! We’re all meeting in the common area for one last gathering as a class, c’mon!” Mina said in her usual bubbly voice as you reeled back from Todoroki. “w-we’ll be there soon.” You sighed, moving your hand off Todoroki’s. After she shut the door, Todoroki sighed and got up from your bed. “they’re waiting for us…” he said, waiting for a response from you. “yeah, lets go.” You smiled, getting up as well.

You spent the last night together as a class like no other. Spilling secrets, reminiscing on moments from first year, how much each of you have grown, as well as the hardships and the many attacks you all overcame with the league of villains. It was truly a night to remember.

You would never forget the time with your class, especially the time you had spent with Todoroki.

“I’m so proud of you honey!” you mother exclaimed, leaving a sloppy kiss on your cheek. “yeah yeah I get it mom. Try not to slobber so much.” You laughed, wiping off the excess saliva that remained on your cheek. “We’re just so happy for you dear.” Your dad chimed in, ruffling your hair a bit. “I'm gonna say bye to my friends okay? Then we can head out.” You said, waving to your parents. “think about what you want for dinner!” you mom said as you walked away, making you laugh more. “hey, webster.” You heard Bakugou call out, turning your head to see where he was standing. He kept that same nickname he had called you back in first year. “Bakugou hey!” you waved, walking towards him. “where are your parents?” you asked, looking around for the spikey haired adults. “they’re already headed back home, I’m going out to celebrate with Ashido, Kirishima, Sero, and Kaminari. Listen, thanks for everything.” He mumbled the last part, looking away from your gaze. “no problem Bakugo, good luck with everything. I'm sure I’ll be seeing you on the cover of hero daily really soon.” You said, giving him a bright smile. He responded with a small smile and waved you off, going over to where Kirishima was standing. “y/n.” you heard Todoroki call your name from behind you, turning around to see him holding a single flower. “Shouto…I thought you had left already.” You trailed off, you eyes going to the pink rose in his hand. “I was but, I wanted to give this to you.” He said, holding the flower in front of him for you to take. “thank you Shouto, that’s sweet of you.” You said, taking the flower from his hand and placing it delicately in your bag. “Um about our…moment…the other day…” he started, making all the memories of a couple nights ago flood back to your mind. “I-I'm really sorry about that…it was just in the moment y’know…” you nervously laughed, looking down at your heels. “right. well, I’ll be off then.” He nodded at you, and turned to walk away.

You had to do something…you weren’t going to just let him walk away right

Right?

“Shouto!” you yelled, almost a bit too loud, running over to him before he could leave. He looked with you with a confused expression as you stood there.

Its now or never.

You leaned in and placed a light kiss on his cheek, making sure to linger for a bit so he would get the message.

“thank you, Shouto.” You smiled at him, and with that you turned to walk back to your parents.

You wanted to see his reaction, but you were sure he’d come and confess to you properly….in time.

So here you are now, years later, snuggled up on your couch in your shared apartment with the bi-haired male. Watching your favorite show as you waited for dinner to arrive. “My love, you seem lost…is everything alright?” he asked, placing his hand on your knee. “yes, I'm alright Shouto. Actually, I’ve never been happier.” You said with the biggest smile on your face, tears of happiness threatening to pour out.

If you were sure of anything, it was that all the time you spent with Shouto, was something you’d never regret.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

you can find our bnha masterlist: here

or our general masterlist: here

#my hero academia #mha #mha headcanons #mha x y/n #mha x reader #mha shouto x reader #boku no hero acadamia oc #boku no hero academia #bnha #bnha x y/n #bnha x reader #bnha shouto x reader #shoto todoroki #shoto todoroki x reader #todoroki x reader #bnha headcanons #todoroki headcanons #todoroki fluff #katsuki bakugou

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art-and-sacrilegious-acts · 2 years

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PART 1: Youre at a party with friends, theres lots of people, drinks, music, dancing, a pool, you name it. Its at a nice house somewhere in california. The upstairs and downstairs is off limits to guests, but the main floor is big enough to accompany all the people inside. Theres a full size bar, and behind it a man, serving drinks. Hes dressed nicely, and sort of out of place. Your cup is empty so you decide to sit at the bar.

"Whatll it be?" He says, his voice confident, friendly, somewhat enticing.

"I guess ill take whateevverr you recommend mr bartender" you reply, attempting to be somewhat cute, the bartender begins pouring a drink it includes champagne, some kind of red juice and a whole mix of a few other things that the bartender moved to quick for you to really get a good look at.

"Give this a try its one of my favorites," you oblige sipping on it, its sweet but relatively strong, but it tastes fantastic.

"I love it whats in it?" You ask

"Thats a secret ill never reveal," the bartender says, as you stsrt chatting with the bartender, your boyfriend, who you came with sits next to you.

"Hey barman, can i get a whiskey sour?"

"Sure thing"

Your boyfriend turns to you, "Whatre you doing over here? Why dont you come dance?" He asks, hes a kind man, gentle and sweet, hes never done you wrong in his life.

"Im just not really in the mood tonight for dancing im just gonna sit here for awhile, you go have fun ill find you later okay?"

"Okay thats fine, i love you"

"I love you too"

He walks back to his group of friends and you turn back to the bartender, youre about halfway done with your drink.

"So where do you come from?" You ask him

"Oh me? Im the owner of the house"

"The owner?? And youre tending the bar?" You ask, surprised that hes not enjoying the festivities at his own party.

"Dont worry i still have lots of fun, i like tending the bar, and i usually have most of ny fun later when most of the guests are gone," he says, it sounds odd so you inquire more, "oh?"

"I like talking to the,stragglers of the night, hearing their stories and struggles. A lot goes on at these parties."

The barman was right, a lot does go on here. You chat with him for a long while, learning about him as a person, and telling him about yourself, he makes you drink after drink, only they seem to be getting a little stronger each time. Eventually your boyfriend comes over again

"Hey howre you feeling"

"Honestly, a little tired, and a lottle drunk"

"Oh are you ready to leave? I was just about to grab another drink"

The bartender makes him something before he even asks and hands it to him, "dont worry," the bartender said, "ill take her upstairs and show you the room shell be staying in, you can find her later when youre done having fun"

The bartender takes you and upstairs, letting your boyfriend hold you, and they lay you on a large comfortable bed in a spacious room. They both leave and you start to realize youve been feeling odd only since you drank the bartenders specialty drink. You try to get up to warn your boyfriend or anyone else, but you cant move, youre stuck, perfectly planted in place, your limbs feel like theyre moving, but your body doesnt react to what your brain is telling it to do. Slowly you feel yourself slipping out of conciousness, the only thing keeping you awake is the soft bump of the music that can still be heard, but eventually its not enough and you find yourself slipping farther into sleep, until all you see and feel is total blackness. You swear you hear the door open again, but you lose complete conciousness again before you can see who it is.

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pocmuzings · 4 years

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A GUIDE BARELY ANYBODY ASKED FOR: writing smut foreplay 101.

NOTE: every body is different. every person likes different things, and reacts different ways. i’m writing from my various personal experiences as a Self Assigned Hoe, also the self titled Smut Queen of the rpc. NONE OF THIS IS DEFINITIVE. if you’re unsure- ask your writing partner first. always.

pls be warned this is quite nsfw and straight up Filth. it also is written from my perspective as a cis-gender, pansexual woman.

IMPORTANT OOC STUFF:

always, always keep communication to your rp partner open. consent is sexy. especially with writing.

gauge the mood. if you suggest something to your writing partner and they just say ‘yeah’ or ‘ok’... don’t take it as 100% go ahead. sometimes people, especially in the rpc, will say yes just because they don’t know how to say no. an ENTHUSIASTIC YES is really really good and necessary!!!

vice versa, make sure you tell your partner if you’re not comfortable with something. if you said yes to begin with to writing a scene, but slowly u start feeling uncomfortable and weird... guess what? U CAN CHANGE YOUR MIND!!! I GUARANTEE U NOBODY WILL BE MAD! IF THEY ARE- DUMP THEM AS A WRITING PARTNER! change your mind whenever u want, about whatever u want. writing is meant for u. its meant for u to be comfortable. ur lil safe kinky space, if u so wish it to be!

talk to ur partner. be their pal. be their fwend. writing smut can escalate v quickly, and if ur not an active talker to ur writing partner, then sometimes things can get misconstrued, or uncomfortable. even if it’s just a check in like ‘HEY HOW WAS UR DAY’ or ‘is what im writing ok????? i love when ur character does ___’ or idk. just be comfortable and friendly!!!

u don’t have to write paragraphs and paragraphs of smut. just.. give a lil detail though. give a lil smth to ur writing partner. like any other reply, just writing one sentence is not really enough for another writer to reply to.

GENERAL SEX TIPS THAT I’VE PICKED UP THAT HELP ME WITH WRITING:

anal is super popular and super wanted atm. i’m not going to say it’s a ‘trend’, bc it’s not really. but it’s definitely becoming more and more mainstream. this DOESN’T MEAN u have to do it / write it, but just know that most ppl atm are on the butt train (yahoo!). so.. yeah, expect anal to be a ~written abt thing or Wanted thing

other ‘popular’ kinks i’ve noticed atm (through fb groups im part of and just friends in general) are choking, and spanking. but this is NOT everybody’s kink. just bc it’s ‘popular’ doesn’t mean its right for ur character. kinky, rough sex is becoming more mainstream i’ve noticed.

a handjob is like.... not ever super wanted. it’s a handjob. it’s not the greatest thing in the world. as far as sexy things go, this is basic tier. a handjob is better than nothing, but i don’t rlly know anybody who actively wants a handjob.

same with fingering- look, fingering is fine, and it can get things in motion, but it’s really hard to orgasm from fingering. i’d say borderline impossible, but this is just from me (and, again, the gals in my lives) experience. fingering is GOOD as a beginning saucy movement, just like a handjob is good to begin with.. but climaxing from it is not Super Likely.

cum is messy and gets everywhere. everywhere.

pre-cum is a thing. discharge is a thing. women getting wet is a thing. it’lll happen. it’s messy. it’s a lot sometimes, and it’s really.. slick (idk how else to explain it, but it helps with the MOVEMENT of things greatly). it’s good to write abt bc guess what? it means somebody is turned on! this is GOOD

look a ‘tight vagina’ or whatever u wanna call it, is not a Good Thing, bc it means a person isn’t turned on enough / wet enough

when writing basically anything about genitalia... use spit. oh my god use so much spit. be disgusting with how much spit is there, bc u need that as LUBE (unless ur writing ur characters using lube!!!)

write vocal characters. in my experience, nobody is ever 100% quiet during sexy times. if ur character is being touched in a way they like, trust me- they’ll be moaning. they’ll be rocking their hips. they’ll be whispering more, more, more, yeah, like that etc.

if writing rough sex, have a safe word for the characters ic. practice safe sex even with writing! safe words are rlly good bc they also actually help create a safe ooc environment too!! that way, if somebody doesnt want to say smth ooc, they can say it ic, and hopefully feel more comfortable

write realistic sex. pls. write about the awkward noises. or the accidental wrong movement. or the laughing. sex isn’t always magnificent and beautiful. it’s clumsy and silly. and it’s fun to write it that way, bc.. look, smut is meant to be fun! so make it fun! write it as fun and silly and goofy as u want!!!!

yes cis-men have the prostate and its located in the butthole fdnjkfjkndf. but u can’t write ur character just shoving a finger in a butt. characters, just like people ooc, need to maintain communication before trying anything ‘new’ like that. safe sex everyone!!!

don’t go straight to what’s between the legs. neck kisses. nipples. breasts, back scratch, dirty talk... this is all VERY IMPORTANT to foreplay. don’t ever use write ur characters diving on in, especially not to female muses bc female bodies work v differently. we need waRMING UP! we need a lil teasing.

write hand movement! write where your characters hands are. are they carded through hair? are they gripping sheets? are they clawing at someone’s back? digging into scalps? hands are ALWAYS doing something.

writing about shaving / hair down there is not super necessary, but u do u.

involuntary noises / movements happen a lot when smth is GOOD during foreplay. gasps. moans. cries. hips jolting. mouth falling open.

foreplay is so SO important before sex. in real life, and in smut. if i write with someone and they go STRAIGHT to writing sex, no foreplay, im like ... hewwo ?? this just isn’t realistic, and my coochie clenches.

when writing... make ur characters ask the dumb qs u’d probably ask real life. ‘should i get a condom?’ ‘are you on anything?’ ‘did that hurt?’ ‘can i cum in you?’ ffjnkf u get what i mean? i hope.

cis men do cum pretty quickly, especially compared to women.

showers are fine for sexy times, but WATER is NOT lubricant.

READ FAN FICTION. there’s some really really good fan fiction out there, and it actually does help with ur own writing

if a character likes something and says ‘yeah’ or ‘like that’... that doesn’t mean necessarily to write another character ‘speeding up’ or getting rougher. if somebody likes something ‘like that’, then keep it ‘like that’, or pick up the pace a little as encouragement.

WRITING HAND JOBS / FINGERING:

finger movement on the outside of a vagina is just as important as finger movement on the inside. sometimes it can be more important, bc some people are more sensitive on the outside. (i’m not using technical terms bc nothing abt this post is technical or medical lmao)

if u don’t use lube or spit on ur hand when giving a penis a handjob.. it’ll probably hurt the person a little and be rough and not very Easy on either party

a handjob can be pretty fuckin awkward (i’ve been told + found personally). it’s just two people lying / sitting there, with one hand uncomfortably angled to jack off another person. it’s probably the most silent of all foreplay things which is why every person i know (female, male, cis, non cis) hate handjobs.

ur hand and fingers might cramp a little if ur fingering a female, and the movements might get a little clumsy, but thats OKAY TOO!!!

the angle of ur hand when fingering is important. if ur just shoving it down some pants/ trousers, it doesn’t leave a lot of movement so it won’t be super Great. under a skirt, or better yet- naked, makes things a LOT easier bc u have more Room.

write about the fingers. write about them moving up and down. don’t just rub them over the clit, or have them inside a vagina. that’s not exactly how it works. we need some pressure. we need a little rub. mainly near the clitoris or on the actual clitoris itself

don’t ever start by writing fast movements. u gotta write about building a motion and speed. start slow, then speed it up.

fingering: circular motions over near the clit slowly, then a liiiiittle faster. stroking motions up and down. moving up towards the clit properly, then back down and slowly inserting a finger. then pull the finger out. repeat. keep each movement slow and deliberate and teasing. fdjkndfbnjkdfjnk graphic, i know. but. i mean. that’s a good first foreplay move i’ve found ???

handjob: thumb over the tip first as a lil tease, then slowly roll your hand in a fist motion all the way down the length (keep ur arm in a ‘straight’ movement.) then back up. twist ur hand, especially near the tip. move a little faster if ur lubed up enough, and then u can even give a lil ball squeeze if ur feeling courageous. keep that movement going. the FASTER ur hand moves, the more close somebody will get to orgasm, bc for them it’s sometimes all abt friction.

starting with fingering / a hand job is like the first step of a dance usually. start with hands and fingers, THEN rock on baby, to --

WRITING ORAL SEX:

as previously mentioned, use a LOT of spit or lube. slick that bitch up.

cis-women are never wet constantly. ever. in fact, u can get dry pretty quickly again, so it’s not uncommon to write abt somebody spitting ‘down there’, just like u’d spit on a penis when giving a blowjob.

most cis-men like their balls being played with a lil. so.. dfjnknj write about balls. i know it can be awkward and weird and the word ‘BALLS’ is not sexy. just try mention some movement there. some playing, or squeezing, or whatever word u feel comfortable using. especially during blowjobs. it’s just a good thing to do if u don’t know what to do with ur hands. don’t go crazy and just grab balls really roughly.

if ur writing about a blowjob on a penis, deepthroating is never gonna happen straight off the bat. u gotta warm up ur throat a little, get ur throat to relax inch by inch, and not gag a lot. i promise u can’t just shove a whole dick down ur throat, unless u have the gag reflex of a porn star.

BUT also. write gagging. gagging happens a lot with blowjobs. i’ve never blown a guy who hasn’t loved the sound of gagging / choking a little

jaws ache from oral. it’s a lot of the same movements and exertion, and YEAH IT CAN HURT UR JAW

tongues are ur best friend. a tongue should definitely be mentioned when writing oral on ANYONE.

write about hands AND mouth when writing oral. (use fingers and tongue when writing about going down on a female, and use hand in a fist movement around penis, when writing a blowjob, bc gripping with ur hand what ur mouth can’t reach yet is a+)

when writing a blowjob, focus on balls, yes- but also mention the tip. it’s sensitive for most guys, so a lil swirl of the tongue, or a suck or whatever... that’s good usually!!!

when writing going down on a female- move the tongue a lot. over the clit. then back down. use ur whole damn mouth and get messy. some ppl have a sensitive clit and direct movement onto it can be a lil overwhelming / overstimulating / painful, so yes- clit is good, but it can also be a little too much for some ppl!

write about lips. when going down on someone, lips also create sensations. it’s not the same as TONGUE, obviously, but it’s still soft and warm and it’s definitely something u feel.

if ur writing about eating a girl out: tongues can be soft and flat, or they can a little pointy when u tense them. alternating between these 2 movements can be rlly good and pleasurable. starting soft and flat near the clit is good, before moving down to stick ur tongue in a little, and move it / wiggle it. but trust me - most of the action should be SOFT especially near the clit, bc it’s sensitive.

if you’re writing about a blowjob: suction. and moving quickly. hollow out those cheeks, and write about the tongue moving as the mouth does. suck hard, but not like.... ur character isn’t a vaccuum cleaner. they should suck ‘eagerly’ or whatever, and use their hand and tongue to help them out. trust me ur jaw will lock / hurt, u cannot suck a dick for like an hour.

if u deepthroat a penis enough, ur voice can get pretty fucked up sounding, but i’ve never had it last longer than the next day or so. it just sounds like u’ve got a cold / sore throat (and thats bc u do)

some people just don’t like oral. some people aren’t comfortable in their bodies and can’t get out of their minds when it comes to it- which is super understandable. it’s a very intimate, close thing, bc hello -somebody is staring at ur genitalia basically. so hey, if u don’t wanna write it / don’t like it, then that’s completely chill too!

you don’t have to write about ‘the taste’. in fact, it’s absolutely ok and i’d prefer if u don’t bc i personally think that gets a bit weird. u can mention there IS a taste, but u don’t have to get into particulars bc that can get kinda icky. like ... it’s genitalia. we all know it won’t taste like a peach or whatever.

cis-women orgasm from oral sex, i think sometimes more often than they orgasm from actual penetrative sex? this is based off things i’ve read, and again, my own experience.

oral sex can take a loooong ass time to reach orgasm sometimes. it’s barely ever a two-reply-thread piece. it’s always gonna be longer then that, if ur writing it realistically. sometimes reaching climax during oral, for any gender, can take anywhere up to an hour ??? if we’re being generous ??? again, cis men are more likely to cum first, BUT good oral sex can be dragged on for a while, for anybody.

WRITING ASS / ANAL STUFF:

im gonna say it straight up. yes. it kinda feels like pooping almost when somebody fingers ur butt. but in a weirdly.. good way. idk how to describe it.

getting fingered in the ass is SLOW work. a finger will NOT just go in, especially not DRY. u need saliva / lube. you need the other person to be relaxed, or breathing, and u need to coax them through it all.

u don’t really know whats going on back there if ur on the receiving end. like. u can’t TELL by feeling on what’s going on. real talk: a guy fingered me once and i thought it was two fingers, but it was 3, and then later- when he put his dick in it was fine as well bc he’d relaxed me and gotten me to feel rlly comfortable and Safe. so TRUST me thats important when writing butt stuff. i can’t stress it enough.

it feels Strained. like it isn’t necessarily painful the entire time, but u can FEEL very full. so yeah, nobody is gonna have a finger in their ass and then immediately be ready for another, or be bouncing back , knuckle deep. u need a lot of patience and time for this.

if ur a cis-female... butt stuff is Fine, but its not a way to achieve orgasm, bc honestly there’s nothing stimulating u. it feels nice and the Roughness can be a kink, but u probably won’t orgasm / cum from it

use a lot of spit and a LOT of lube

u can’t just shove a dick / multiple fingers in someones ass either. u gotta stretch it out. take ur time. it literally can take an hour + sometimes more to get someone relaxed and stretched out enough. the amount of spit / lube and fingering needed is ridiculous

when it comes to ass stuff- make sure ur character is BREATHING in order to relax their muscles. everytime they’re relaxed, everything moves easier (this just goes for sex stuff in general too!)

eating ass is a thing, and look- ur not meant to ‘douche’ regularly bc apparently it’s bad for u. so if ur writing abt anal / butt stuff, u do NOT need to write abt anything poopy related or any of the douching stuff. its a silent rule, just like in real life. we don’t talk abt it djknfgnkjd

honestly, the overall feeling of Butt Stuff is just one of being Full and a lil Stretched, and if ur into Pain / a very different feeling then it’s a Good Feeling bc it just is all abt trusting n putting ur body in someone else’s hands (and fingers)

getting ur ass eaten feels warmer / more pleasurable than fingers bc a tongue in general is just nicer and softer then fingers are.

spread them cheeks, boys, girls and non gender conforming folk

if ur gonna touch a cis-girls ass with ur tongue or fingers or anything... pls make sure ur stimulating her clit at the same time. i promise that can make things speed up in terms of relaxation and pleasure v quickly.

always ask a cis-male before going near his ass (but also in general, always ask before doing anything), especially rlly Straight Dudes bc they get SUPER defensive abt their own ass being touched

anal stuff can be GREAT for foreplay just bc it’s a bit risque and it’s a bit Rougher and Harder just bc it’s a tighter hole. so, honestly yeah a lil finger in the ass whilst being eaten out isn’t terrible, or being fingered there at the same time as being fingered elsewhere can also feel pretty Spicy, depending on ur taste

for cis-men, butt stuff can be a VERY quick way to orgasm. especially if ur blowing them / stroking them at the same time

anal / ass stuff isn’t for everyone. don’t write it if ur not comfortable. don’t do it if ur not comfortable.

WRITING AN ORGASM:

the body shakes, tenses, spasms and generally loses a little bit of control

ur grip turns very intense and Harsh

back arching is a Thing

hands yanking at hair is a Thing

for when a cis-man orgasms... it can happen quite suddenly, but it’ll be a little twitch, and u can FEEL them tense. fast movement is what usually gets them to orgasm Quicker, i’ve found.

for everybody else, i feel like it can be harder to achieve orgasm, but when it happens- your legs get all tense and squeeze the SHIT out of the head between them, and u definitely make some noise. orgasm can just happen, and sometimes with women especially.. it’s kinda easier to fake orgasm bc there’s never truly a Way To Tell physically???? this could be entirely wrong, of course, but there’s SO MUCH discussion and research based on the female orgasm that i feel like i can’t write anything abt it here bc it’s SO different for everyone.

just follow the general rule: ‘you’ll know when it happens’. ‘you’ll know when you know’.

orgasms won’t always happen. it can get CLOSE but not happen, and it’s not always some big disappointing, ‘blue-balls’ event. it happens, or it doesn’t. sometimes u can write amazing head, and the other character won’t cum, and u know what? that’s ok too.

#rph #rpc #im probably forgetting so much stuff #anyways pls dont be mean JKDFJNKFJN #im just a wh*re #with my wh*re experiences and life.#i dont know EVERYTHING ok so if i got smth wrong or worded smth wrong #let me know #guide #smut guide #smut help

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