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savoies · 2 years

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4 times they told him he loved you + 1 time he he told you he loved you - tyson jost.

summary: tyson and you are childhood friends but he keeps on denying he feels something more...until one day after his closest friends/family help him realize it.

specified pronouns: she/her

word count: 1.9k.

warnings: maybe a few bad words, slight angst but not really.

a/n: this is for claudia (@tysonjost-taylorsversion ) with demi's (@antoineroussel ) fic exchange. this was so much fun to write for you and I hope you like it. enjoy.

The team was over at Gabe and Melissa's for team bonding. Everyone basically sitting down wherever they could. Talking, drinking, eating. Just having a good time in each other's company.

Tyson now talking to his Captain. More so Tyson just talking and Gabe and Melissa listening. He had brought you along. I mean how couldn't he. Since you had gotten a job in Colorado, Tyson basically brought you around everywhere.

See the thing was you and Tyson had grown up together. Talking every once in a while since he had settled down roots in Denver. Of course only seeing each other when he was back home. But something about having you here with him made him feel safe, secure, almost as if everything he had done was done to bring him to this part of his life that he was in. Like if he didn't bring you along everywhere somehow you would leave and you guys would go without seeing each other again. And he didn't really want that to happen.

He could talk about you for hours. Just the way you made him feel and the way he just liked having you around. Gabe and Melissa had told him many times that this was so much more than some friendship and he should take the steps to make it more than that but Tyson kept on denying it. Yes they had grown up together and maybe at some point in their teenage years Tyson found Y/N attractive and maybe wanted to kiss her but now they were mature adults who had grown together. I mean the fact that Y/N had seen Tyson through his fair share of girlfriends and Tyson had seen Y/N through her fair share of boyfriends didn't really make dating each other pleasurable, or at least that's what Tyson told himself.

See Y/N was like a childhood stuffed animal. You had grown with it and it made you feel warm but that's all it was. You liked the feeling of security it brought. Well at least that's what Tyson told himself as he looked at his best friend talking to Burky.

II.

The game had just ended. Y/N was outside the locker room wearing Josty’s jersey along with all of the girlfriends and wives who were waiting for their boyfriends and husbands. Except see the thing was she wasn't a girlfriend or wife, she was just a best friend, and she was fine with it. Not really finding it odd as she was surrounded by everyone else. A huge smile on her face as she waited to congratulate her best friend.

~~~

“Dude why don’t you just ask her out already goddd.” JT told his best friend.

“What are you talking about?” Tyson asked as he put on his suit.

“Y/N, we see the way you look at her and talk about her. Hell you just spent the last twenty minutes talking about her to me.” JT said, as Tyson looked over at his best friend with the most confused expression on his face.

Tyson rewinded the conversation in his head. Oh my god he had just spent the last twenty minutes talking about Y/N without even realizing it. They had gone out yesterday to some restaurant in town. Y/N had just gotten a promotion and Tyson had decided to take her to dinner to congratulate her (of course just as friends but now as he sat in the locker room with his friend and teammate talking about how proud he was of her.

“She’s just a friend. Can’t I talk about how proud I am of my friends. I always talk about how proud I am of you and the guys.” Tyson said, I mean he was right, right?

“Ok whatever ignore my advice. But we all know im your best friend anyways so where does that leave Y/N.” JT said as he got his stuff and started to walk out of the locker room. I mean he was mostly joking, knowing that the girl meant more to Tyson than anything (but of course to Tyson she was only his best friend, well so he thought)

III.

Tyson and Mat were hanging out for the summer. They always tried to meet up once a year between their busy NHL schedules. Either if it was for one or the other's birthday or during the summer.

So now here they were enjoying the warm (more so hot) degree weather and basking in the sun. They had rented some boat for the day and decided to spend the day on it. Talking about whatever they had missed since the last time they had talked.

Mat had gotten a girl. Of course tried getting as many points in the season that he could. While Tyson on the other hand, and basically on the other side of the country of course tried to get as many points in his season except he didn't have a girl. Not because he didn't want to but because he was basically pining over his best friend. At least to him it didn't seem that way, but to everyone around him it did.

"So Y/N huh." Mat said as he drove the boat enjoying the way the water sprayed on his face.

"I don't know what you're talking about." Josty said as he took some pictures (to show you later.)

"Dude you've literally been pining over her since you were 14." Mat said as he looked over at his friend.

"Oh shut up Mat." Tyson said as he rolled his eyes at him. Him changing the topic of conversation, not really wanting to talk about the fact that he was lowkey in love with his best friend. (at least according to his friends is what he was telling himself.)

IV.

You and Tyson had both come back home. Since coming to live in Denver and having spent basically every single moment together you guys thought why not go back home at the same time.

So now both of you were in Tyson's childhood home enjoying the warm feeling that being back home brought.

"You know Y/N Tyson doesn't just bring any girl home." Kacey said as she sat with you on the couch while Tyson got ready before you two went out.

"Kacey I've literally known you forever. I don't think I really count as some girl Tyson is bringing home." You said as you looked over at the younger girl.

"All I'm saying Y/N is that you're the only one he keeps bringing home." She said, but before you could reply Tyson interrupted the conversation.

"Kacey, stop being annoying, let's go Y/N." Tyson said as you guys grabbed your stuff and said goodbye. Going to your old hang out spots that you grew up loving. Tyson overheard what his sister had told you. I mean it was sort of true. He had brought one or two girls home but only once. You were the only one he actually kept on bringing.

After you and Tyson had come back to Colorado from being home, he thought a lot about it. Of what you meant to him and what he wanted. I mean all his friends seemed to know it was something more so why couldn't he just admit to himself and then to you that it actually was something more.

So now here he sat in his living room waiting for you to come over. He really wasn't sure what he was going to say but he knew that he needed to say something. Before anyone else saw how great you were and he missed his chance. Because he knew if that happened he would definitely regret not saying that he at least gave it a shot.

~~~

Now running his hands through his hair as you sat on his couch, across from him.

"Ty, what's wrong, you can talk to me." You said. You guys were set to meet up later tonight for dinner but Tyson asked if you could meet up a bit earlier at his apartment before dinner because he wanted to talk to you. You were kind of worried. I mean what couldn't he tell you over dinner.

Tyson thought about it. Everything he did, everything he was doing involved you and he didn't want that to stop anytime soon so he spoke up, just letting the words he felt come out.

"I don't think you realize this but I would do anything and everything for you." He said as he finally looked at you, no longer playing nervously with his hands.

"Tyson I would do anything for you too." You said as you looked over at him, eyebrows raised, questioning where this sudden heartfelt speech had come from. I mean he was your best friend of course you were going to do everything for him.

"No, that's not what I'm trying to say. I'm saying that I love you. I love you so goddamn much and I was too blind to realize it but if everyone around us can see it I hope you can too. And maybe somehow I hope that you feel the same way and that you will want to be with me." He said now avoiding eye contact, feeling sort of vulnerable at the thought that he had just spilled his guts to his best friend about how he was in love with her, after he had denied it so many times before.

"Are you saying that you want to be more than friends, that you want to be together?" You said as you looked over at him. Wanting to make sure you heard him right. Your heart sort of exploding at the thought and at his words. I mean you loved being his best friend and wouldn't change it for the world but the fact that he wanted something more made you just want to run into his arms and kiss him, and to never let go.

"That's exactly what I'm saying. Everything I do is for you and I don't know if I want anything more or want to do anything to change that." He said with a small smile on his face. He looked at you and you looked at him. Thinking about how you guys were always there for each other since you could remember. How you guys were basically each other's stuffed animals. But who said that once you grew up you had to let go of it. You could still be there for each other. And even if you both thought you couldn't work it out before, now you guys were two mature adults who had a steady life. Not some teenagers who barely just had their first kisses.

"I like you too Tyson and I would not like anything more than to be with you." You said as you looked over at your best friend of so many years.

"Can I kiss you right now?" Tyson said with an even bigger smile on his face. You shook your head yes and both of you leaned in to kiss each other. Your soft lips colliding into each other's. Seeming as though you guys were making up for the lost time and years where you weren't together. Pulling away, you still having your arms around his neck and his arms still wrapped around your waist. Both smiling like crazy, two best friends who were completely in love with each other and now weren't blind enough to see it.

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headheartbellarke · 4 years

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LIGHT A FIRE IN MY EYES | Owen Patrick Joyner

PAIRING(S): Charlie Gillespie’s sister!Reader x Owen Patrick Joyner

WARNING(S): fluff, angst

WORDS: 3.4k

SUMMARY: where Y/N is charlie gillespie’s sister, and while living with him and owen, unexpected feelings rise up. (im so bad at these)

READER’S POV

A rhythmic knock on my bedroom door breaks me out of my trance. I push my glasses further up my nose and close my physics textbook, dropping my pencil between the pages to bookmark it. Pushing myself off the chair, I stretch my arms above my head – I’ve been sitting at my desk for about five hours now, trying to revise everything for my exam tomorrow. I walk over to my door, and unlock it, and I’m greeted by my brother, Charlie. He takes in my appearance and frowns.

“I thought you were still sleeping. When did you get up?”

“Uhh…” I trail off, looking behind me at the clock mounted on the wall opposite to me. 10:30 AM. “About 5, yeah.”

I turn back and notice my brother widening his eyes. “Are you okay, little one?”

I’m not a morning person, under no circumstances ever. Growing up, I’ve always been the last person to wake up – Charlie being the first. So, I guess it’s awfully unusual for him to hear this.

“This is college, honey. You wouldn’t know.” I shrug at him and he grins. I’ve always hated the fact that he got a free pass from college, since he’s an actor.

That is also the reason why he’s here. We grew up in Canada – Charlie, me, my two other older brothers and my twin sister Meghan. Growing up, Charlie, Meghan and I were inseparable – since we’re closer in age – Charlie’s only two years older than Meghan and me. But I had to leave home for college – I got into Caltech, and that was not an opportunity I was about to give up, even though Charlie protested so many times that I’m apparently the baby of the house and I shouldn’t go to another country alone.

Now, he’s living with me – he is shooting for his show, Julie and The Phantoms (proud sister, here), and they have a couple of scenes and some recording to do in LA, so he’s staying in my apartment for a week, along with his friend, co-star and roommate back in Vancouver, Owen. Previously, they lived with me for more than a month when they had to go through musical bootcamp or something for the sake of the show. (So proud.)

That was also when I’d developed a massive crush on Owen.

Charlie was living with me for a good two weeks when, one day, he took me out to meet the rest of the cast. (Who were all lovely, by the way.) On the drive there, he told me that Owen had been living in a hotel since he’s originally from Oklahoma, and that Charlie’s thinking of asking him to come live with us, if I was okay with that. Of course, I had said yes. I had ample space in my duplex apartment and living alone is boring. So, Charlie introduced me to Owen and we immediately hit it off. Of course, I thought that he was incredibly attractive when we met. But I meet a lot of attractive people at university.

Then, we started living together, and I realized how amazing Owen actually is. He’s an absolute dork – but he’s also funny, very kind, thoughtful, compassionate, altruistic and so, so nice. Both of us have a lot in common, and there’s always been this unsaid, unacknowledged chemistry between us that a lot of the other cast members had picked up on. (Not my brother, though. He would have killed Owen.) We had so much fun when we were together – he turned everything into an adventure. The best part was that I got to be myself, completely, whenever I was around him. I got to talk about whatever I wanted with him – he never, ever judged me.

Before they went to Vancouver when production for the show began, we had a last night out with the rest of the cast and a bunch of family members – except the kids. We went to this bar near my college. I was so, so drunk and then I suddenly started feeling queasy and Owen offered to take me home since Charlie was in the same position. There was so much traffic and Owen and I kept singing whatever song was on the radio to pass the time – LA traffic – when we were both leaning across our seats and we started kissing. I remember feeling like I would burst from the happiness and the softness, the affection, the admiration that he had in his eyes when he looked at me.

Of course, I fell asleep pretty soon after the traffic dissipated and woke up next morning to find him packing for his trip. That was when I’d realized that no matter how much I liked him, we could never be together. First of all, long distance relationships almost never work out, and secondly, he’s my brother’s best friend. That was why I chose to just give him a quick hug goodbye and head to college – without even bothering to drop them off at the airport, or even talking to him.

He texted and called a couple of times after that, too. But I never responded, never even opened any of his texts – because I knew that once I do that, I would definitely call him. That went on for a week, and the only time we spoke was when he’d texted me from Savannah’s phone: why are you ignoring me? I texted back all the reasons why we couldn’t ever be together, and I didn’t hear from him for another week, until Charlie called me the day before yesterday, telling me that they have a couple of scenes to do in LA, along with some recording stuff, and they’ll stay with me for a few days. I had to approve, or else Charlie might figure out everything.

They arrived yesterday, and I think that I’ve done a pretty good job of ignoring him so far.

Charlie’s voice breaks me out of my train of thoughts. “You have exams or what?”

I nod. “Applied physics, tomorrow. Are you going out?” I ask, pointing at his dark blue jeans.

“Madi and I are writing this song together. You’ll love it.”

I smile at him. “If I’m not the first one to hear it –”

He hums, a chuckle escaping him. I lean against the doorframe, as he continues, “Owen just woke up. He doesn’t start his scenes until tomorrow, so I told him to take care of you today, while I’m away.”

I ignore the way my heart skips a beat at the mere mention of his name and flatten my lips. “I’m 19, Charlie, I can –”

“Take care of yourself, blah blah blah. I don’t care.”

I roll my eyes, and playfully shove him forward. He stumbles a few steps backwards and furrows his brows at me. “Ouch!”

“Are you taking my car?”

He nods. “Where –”

“In the magnetic key holder on the fridge.”

“Okay, sis.” He smiles at me, leaning forward to ruffle my hair – which makes it even messier than it already was. “Go away!” I grumble, trying to pat his hand away. “Never!” He calls out, turning toward the kitchen to grab the keys.

I shake my head and laugh. “Love you!”

He shouts back, without looking behind at me. “Love you most!”

****

The delicious smell of pancakes reminds me of the fact that I haven’t eaten since last night. I drag my feet to the kitchen, mentally preparing myself for the person I’m about to encounter in there.

“Uh, hi…” I hesitantly call out, entering the kitchen – and notice a very shirtless Owen, with his very shirtless back turned towards me. He turns around at the sound of my voice, and a few strands of golden blonde hair fall across his eyes. I long to reach my hand across and push those away.

Instead, he himself does that as his eyes flit over me, and a look of pain flashes through his eyes. I hate that I’m the cause of that.

“I was wondering how you would ignore me when we’re living in the same apartment.”

“I deserve that.” I walk over to the stove to stand beside him.

He ignores me and goes back to flipping golden brown pancakes which smell amazing, but all I can focus on is the curve of his back, the hollow space between his collarbones, and the way his hands grip on the pan a little too hard. I feel a warmth course through my body and find myself missing the way he used to wrap his arms around me from behind in the mornings when Charlie was still asleep.

“Owen,” I whisper, and he inhales sharply at that. “Please. I don’t want things to be like this – I don’t want us to be like this.”

He uses his spatula to lift the pancake and puts it atop other pancakes on a plate beside the stove and turns it off. He turns around to face me, biting his lip and I think I just had an aneurysm because of the intensity of his gaze.

He sighs, leaning against the counter. “Y/N. You made it pretty clear that there would never be an ‘us.’”

“I know. But we can still be friends, right? Like we were before… everything.”

“See, that’s the thing. I can’t. Y/N, do you have any idea what you’ve put me through for the past two weeks?” He snaps.

“Do you have any idea what I’ve been through?” I reply, hotly. “Owen, it broke me inside to ask you to stay away. Do you have any idea how much I care about you?”

“No! I don’t, because you don’t talk to me, Y/N.”

“I told you, there is no point in doing long distance –”

“That’s bullshit, Y/N, and you know it, too. I think you’re just too scared to be with me because you think that I’d break your heart, leave you alone or hurt you. But that’s the thing, Y/N – I won’t do any of that to you, because that’s exactly what you’re doing to me.” He crosses his arms across his chest.

I breathe out shakily, running a hand through my curls. “That’s not true –”

Owen scoffs. “Please, Y/N. I know you.”

I lower my eyes from his because I can’t handle the way he’s looking at me.

“Y/N, do you know how fucking hard the past week’s been for me? I can’t even talk to anyone about it, because the only person I wanna talk to is your brother and we all know what will happen if I do that. He’s my best friend, and I’ve been lying to him for weeks, pretending that I like this hairdresser, when in reality, I’m head over heels for his sister. I can’t tell him that I can’t stop thinking about her, and that she’s the only person that can calm me down when I get anxious on set. I can’t tell him that she’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me, and it’s killing me inside to not talk to her!”

He finishes, breathing out heavily. I look at his eyes and notice that they’re gleaming.

“Wait, what hairdresser?”

He scoffs, annoyed. “Seriously, Y/N?”

I shrug and breathe deeply, trying to stop myself from taking his hands in my own. “You know, there are so many guys at school that ask me out, but I can’t go out with any of them, because guess what, they’re not you. I like you so much, Owen, so, so much, but I can’t do anything about it – because you’re right. I’m scared. I’m terrified that you’ll leave me, because I haven’t felt this way about anyone in a really long time. I’m so scared that one day you’ll wake up and realize that I’m not who you want anymore. I’m scared that maybe you’ll hurt me or meet someone else in Vancouver. I’m scared about so many things because that’s exactly how much I care about you, Owen!”

I take a step further and we are standing mere inches apart. I can feel him breathe out raggedly and see the curve of his nose and his darkened eyes flickering to my lips.

“I would never, ever do that to you, Y/N. You mean a lot to me. Please, please believe me.” He whispers out, and I tell myself to stop, to turn back, to go into my room but instead I just stand there and watch him exhale out, and I know he’s feeling anxious. I lift a hand to his face and cup his cheek in the palm of my hand and he leans his face onto my hand, resting his right hand over mine. The gesture calms the both of us down, and I know, in that moment, that I believe him. That he, us – is a risk worth taking.

“Your hands are so cold.” He whispers. I nod. “Yours are warm.”

Both of us stand there, in the kitchen, trying to make sense of what just happened – trying to hold on to this moment. A silence engulfs the both of us, as I sort through my thoughts.

“Owen,” I whisper. He flicks his eyes to mine. “Promise me you won’t do any of that.”

He raises his left hand, jutting out his little finger. I raise my other hand too, and he wraps his little finger around mine and whispers back, “Pinkie promise.”

“Okay.” I whisper, neither of us daring to uncurl our fingers or look anywhere else.

“Promise me that you wouldn’t leave me for some future tech billionaire.”

I scrunch my face up at that. “What? No!”

“Promise me you’d call –”

“Every single day, Owen. You too.”

Both of us nod together, and he lifts his other hand to tuck a curl that had previously escaped from my actually-messy-and-not-cute bun. “You’re so beautiful.”

I smile, and a tear escapes my eyes – Owen rubbing it away with his thumb. I lean forward, standing on my tiptoes and rest my hands against his bare chest for support as I press my lips to his. He smiles against the kiss, and I feel as if a zoo has gone wild in my stomach. I feel warmth and happiness course through my veins as Owen deepens the kiss, the intense longing in the both of us for each other clawing its way out to the surface. It’s almost as if I’m drinking water for the first time in a week. He tastes like banana pancakes, chocolate syrup and everything good in the world. I press myself against him, wrapping my arms around neck while he does the same around my torso. It frightens me a little how well our bodies fit against each other – but it makes me feel strong knowing that I have an amazing person who genuinely cares about me.

****

CHARLIE’S POV

Charlie unlocked the door to his sister’s apartment, mentally noting to remind her of the fact that her car desperately needs a wash. He enters the foyer, and drops the keys in a bowl, kicking off his shoes.

Suddenly, he pauses, noticing how incredibly quiet the apartment is – which is unlike Y/N. She always has music blasting or the TV running – she hates the quiet. He quickly walks into the living room and almost screams in surprise.

His little sister and his best friend are curled up on the sofa, their backs towards him. Y/N is lying on Owen’s chest and she has an arm wrapped around his torso while Owen’s arms are interlocked at the front, holding her against his body. Their tangled legs peek from underneath the quilt that Charlie and Y/N’s mother knit for her youngest daughter last Christmas. She laughs at something that Owen whispers into her ear, and he presses a kiss to her forehead, and they look at each other with so much adoration that Charlie has to look away.

He sighs, mentally cursing himself for being so, so stupid. How could he have ignored the signs? Charlie remembers Y/N and Owen meeting, both in a daze, both smiling a little too much and Y/N walking with a skip in her steps. He remembers them talking for hours on end, binging Brooklyn 99 on weekends, and always hanging out with each other whenever they went to the same parties. He remembers that morning three weeks ago when he’d woken up late, and gone to the kitchen only to find the duo springing apart from each other, both erupting in a flurry of coughs and laughs, as if he’d just walked on them robbing a bank – Owen had explained that he had apparently broken a glass. He remembers the way Owen would look at her, as if she had just done something miraculous. He remembers the way Y/N would look at his best friend, as if he was made of everything good in the world.

Most of all, he remembers how Owen sulked whenever he was alone back in Vancouver. He remembers how Owen constantly declined to go out with that cute hairdresser. He remembers how Owen sometimes seemed out of it. He remembers how Owen would sprint whenever Charlie called his sister. He remembers how Owen would keep checking his phone every few minutes in between takes.

Charlie also remembers his sister asking about how Owen is when they talked on the phone, and how her voice seemed like she was asking something that was forbidden, something that was evil. He remembers how she would always hang up the phone whenever she heard Owen’s voice. He remembers her always declining his invites to go to Vancouver.

How could he have been so dumb? The signs were right there. He lived with Owen, for god’s sake! Charlie feels an array of emotions. He’s always hated Y/N’s choice in men, despised anyone putting their hands on his baby sister’s body.

But, to see them like this – to see Y/N look so safe, so comfortable in Owen’s arms, he can’t help but feel relief flood into his system. Because he knows his best friend, and he knows what kind of person he is. And now, he thinks just how much sense they make together. Sure, Owen is kind of stupid, reckless, impulsive, and clumsy – but so is Y/N – well, she’s not stupid, he thinks. She’s the smartest person in their family. But she has a fire within her – and his best friend matches that fire. Charlie thinks of the fact that they complement each other so nicely, both are caring, passionate, and kind-hearted. Of course, they would fall for each other. It just makes so much sense – they make so much sense.

Still, Charlie feels hurt that neither of them bothered to tell him about it. (even though he won’t admit it, it’s understandable, really – considering the way he’s bugged his sister about her previous relationships.)

He clears his throat and the duo on the couch jump apart, both flushed and with their eyes widened. Owen stands up, moving away from couch, while Y/N looks at her brother as if he’s a ghost.

A silence falls over the apartment. Y/N finally says, “How’d you – how’d you get in?”

He shrugs. “I had a spare key.”

Owen looks between his girlfriend and his best friend, with widened eyes. “Charlie, I’m so sorry –”

Suddenly, Charlie laughs, swatting at the air. “Pfft. You think I’m gonna be the weird brother who kills his best friend for dating his sister? Come on, this isn’t a TV show. I’m actually really happy for you guys – I ignored all the signs these past weeks, but I see them now. Of course, it’s really weird for me, but I love the both of you so much. Owen, relax, I’m not gonna kill you. Dude. Just don’t kiss or anything in front of me, cause that’s gross. Ew. You know what, don’t do that at all. And I’ll kill you, Owen, if you ever hurt her, I swear. I’ll put poison in your waffles. I just don’t understand why –”

Charlie is cut off by his sister tackling him in a hug. He wraps his arms around her body, as she whispers, “I love you, big brother.”

He murmurs, “Love you most, little one.” He catches Owen’s eye who looks at him with gratefulness and a little smile.

****

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akechicrimes · 4 years

Note

Prompt 37? Futaba and Akechi platonic/Futago siblings?

37. “Follow me. It’s okay, just hold my hand.”

after akira leaves tokyo, futaba does just fine without her key item, except for when she doesnt.

(one of them AUs were goro survives the engine room and rejoins the phantom thieves. no i will not explain. persona 5 canon AND persona 5 royal do not interact. for reference in this universe futaba and akechi are half siblings but only akechi knows that)

“Next time you see me, I’ll be a whole new person,” Futaba tells Akira excitedly on his second-to-last day in Tokyo. “I’m going back to school, I’m out and about by myself—oh! Oh! Did I tell you I said yes to Kosei? I told Kosei I wanted to go to Shujin and they offered me scholarship! And I went to the subway station by myself yesterday!”

They’re crammed into Akira’s Leblanc attic, sitting around a cake that literally none of them were capable of baking themselves, so they’d bought the thing from a bakery and decorated it with little black and red hearts. Ryuji is passing around his gross soda, while Ann is recounting some story that doesn’t matter with incredible enthusiasm. Makoto looks like she’s determined to enjoy herself and will hear no argument.

The whole thing is incredibly morbid, if you ask Futaba. It feels less like they’re waiting for Akira to leave Tokyo and more like they’re attending Akira’s funeral. Akechi in particular looks like he’s regretting attending, which honestly tickles Futaba more than it should, that the most dishonest Phantom Thief seems to be the only one looking as honestly put-off by the entire affair as everyone else is determined not to be.

That’s everyone else’s problem. Futaba might not be happy Akira has to leave, but she’s proud. She’s sad that Akira has to leave, but also she promised Akira that by the time that he had to leave, she’d be able to get around on her own, without clinging to him for support. And she is able. She kept her promise.

Tomorrow might be the day that Akira has to go, but today is the day that Futaba is Officially Recovered.

Akira does that annoying thing he does where he puts his hand on her head and messes up all her hair, like he’s a human cat showing affection by pissing everyone off. Futaba yelps. “Look at you. You don’t need me at all.”

“I told you that I’d be ready to say goodbye by the time you had to go back to your hometown,” says Futaba. “I haven’t broken my promises yet, have I?”

There’s a burst of laughter from Haru over something Yusuke said, who looks rather surprised to discover that he said anything funny. Both Makoto and Akechi snicker at him, and then stop immediately to glare at each other the second they realize they’ve accidentally wound up sharing an opinion.

Akira ignores them. “Well, you can still text me if you need me. Or call.”

“I’m trying to tell you I’m getting better and I don’t need you,” Futaba grumbles. “Also, what kind of psychopath do you think I am to call someone on the phone?”

“That’s what phones are for.”

“Calling people is scary.”

“I thought you were getting better?” Akira teases.

“I am!” she says, pointing a finger at him. “I am! Just you watch, Akira. I’m getting better every day.”

Six months after joining Kosei, Futaba locks herself in her room and does not reemerge for seven days straight.

She tells Sojiro that she’s sick. Sojiro tells the school that Futaba told him that she’s sick. She definitely fakes a hell of a good cough, and the school lets Yusuke send her her all the homework that she was supposed to be doing in the first place, but Futaba already knows it’s only a matter of time before Sojiro rats on her, and she won’t even blame him because it’ll be for her own good.

In the meantime, she has stashes of crackers and peanut butter from back when she was a full-time hermit. She hates the taste of peanut butter within three days. Her bed is a relief, soft like a home she never left, up until it isn’t anymore. It’s too soft. No matter how she lies on it, no matter how soft it is, a mattress just isn’t comfortable when you’ve been lying on it for seventy-four hours. It’s hot. Smothering. She feels like she’s going to drown in the blankets and they’ll have to fish her moldy, sweaty corpse out of the bottomless quicksand pit of her too-soft mattress.

The thing about being a shut-in is that you don’t actually like your room very much. It’s not a relief, or an oasis, or even a place you enjoy. You’re just terrified of everywhere else more.

She plays a lot of video games that she doesn’t even like. She watches a lot of Twitch streamers she doesn’t even like. She doesn’t do her homework. She ignores Sojiro. She pretends she’s alright to everyone who texts. She wakes up and goes to sleep and thinks about going outside and goes to sleep and wakes up and wonders if the whole last year and her cautious baby steps back into the world outside was all just a hazy dream.

There aren’t a lot of Thieves left in Tokyo, weirdly. Haru and Makoto both graduated, off doing business and law junk that honestly makes Futaba’s brains want to crawl out her ears, but all the numbers check out and Haru’s not in the red yet, and Futaba’s looked at enough people’s dirty laundry to appreciate Haru’s clean ledger. Akira’s back in his dinky hicktown, where there’s barely anything electronic connected to Wifi worth breaking into for surveillance, which is really boring.

Ann’s been doing so many modeling gigs that she might as well not be attending Shujin anymore. She’s practically surrounded by electronics, and all of them are connected to the internet. On any given day, Futaba can snoop through the internet trail of electronic file cabinets full of images of her face, emails about her face, paychecks for her face. Futaba sends Ann more than one email about creepy old dudes making gross comments about her, along with a bunch of other illegal shit they’ve done, plus their offshore accounts full of cash if Ann wants Futaba to sic a lawyer on them.

Ann looks like she’s having fun. Ann looks different on the other side of the computer screen, like she’s less real. Like she’s not someone Futaba really knows. Like Ann’s not someone Futaba’s literally cried on at one point in her life.

Ryuji is definitely attending Shujin, but between physical therapy, catching up on a whole year of track, athletic scholarship hunting, and studying for college admissions tests, Ryuji seems to have been swallowed whole by Shujin, really. Out of boredom, one day, Futaba went down that rabbit hole of researching what it takes to get recruited for track in college, and holy shit–apparently Ryuji’s coach was supposed to be helping him with that whole process, but of course Ryuji barely has a proper coach ever since Kamoshida left Shujin’s track program in pieces. The amount of networking he’s doing is insane, especially for one teenaged boy who barely remembers his homework every night.

Sometimes, when Ryuji’s forgotten to check his email in a while and there’s a message from a coach sitting in his inbox, Futaba will send him a text to make him check it. And then it’s all, What were you doing looking at my emails, Futaba and Which of my other passwords do you know, Futaba, as if Ryuji doesn’t just use the same password over and over and has literally nobody but himself to blame.

So it’s really just Futaba, Yusuke, and–weirdly–Akechi, who’s off doing his gap year and said he was going to go abroad, but then he never did. Not to be a huge snoop, but Futaba went digging through his junk for about five seconds and then she never did it again, because she felt really weird about finding out that the guy that killed her mom is looking into social work, volunteerism, and reforming the justice system.

Like. The man who killed the Thieves’ leader is now literally out there saving orphans. It’s wild.

She might’ve been the one to tell Akechi that he can start over again and do better, but she reserves the right to at least feel weird about it.

She does not call Akira. She talks to Yusuke at school, but she refuses to ask him to accompany her on the subway. She should be recovered by now, shouldn’t she? She was supposed to have gotten over all that when Akira left Tokyo. She’s doing fine. She’s just looking out for her friends. Her, living vicariously through her friends, who’re growing up and growing away, flourishing into young adults? Never.

Everything is the same.

Didn’t she help kill a god last year?

Didn’t she work so hard to get out of her room, to make friends, to reconnect with Kana-chan?

Didn’t she work so hard to change herself?

Didn’t she help change the world?

Everything is the same.

Tuesday, 1:43 PM

YUSUKE: Futaba?

FUTABA: yo inari

FUTABA: u got more homework for me or what

YUSUKE: Ah, no.

YUSUKE: I think your teacher finds it suspicious that I’m sending you homework when I’m not in your grade, as it is.

FUTABA: oh no

FUTABA: what a shame that we didn’t have an entire year of experience with getting away with wildly illegal magic brain crimes without raising any suspicion

FUTABA: truly emailing me like four pieces of paper a day is far too difficult

YUSUKE: Well, I can’t get your homework from your teacher, but I can give you more homework if you’d like.

FUTABA: ok bucko that wasn’t a challenge

YUSUKE: There’s a math problem set that’s been incredibly dull to get through when I have more important pieces I could be working on…

FUTABA: inari im sorry to say but

FUTABA: me literally doing your homework for you is about a thousand times more illegal than you giving me my homework when ur not in my grade

YUSUKE: Oh, is it?

FUTABA: wh

FUTABA: are y

FUTABA: what do you mean OH IS IT

FUTABA: did you not KNOW ur not allowed to have other ppl do ur hw????

FUTABA: inari have u been making other people do ur hw for u so u can have more time to do art?????????

FUTABA: no shut up i dont want to know

FUTABA: i will not be ur accomplice

FUTABA: i see ur little speech bubble thingamajig yusuke i said stop typing forever and ever

YUSUKE: I can’t invite you to the art gallery tomorrow if I can’t type.

YUSUKE: It also seems impractical for you to outlaw me from texting forever.

FUTABA: i literally did not say that

YUSUKE: You said, and I quote,

YUSUKE: “Yusuke, I said stop typing forever and ever.”

FUTABA: ok i know it looks like i said that but please im begging u it’s literally just an exaggeration

YUSUKE: As Makoto would say, it’s hardly an enforceable law.

FUTABA: u literally texted my sick and crusty ass just to give me a hard time

YUSUKE: Are you about recovered from your cold?

FUTABA: and now u have the nerve to ask me to go to ur art show thing

YUSUKE: I didn’t say that.

FUTABA: oh really

FUTABA: what were u gonna ask me about then

YUSUKE: The art show, naturally.

YUSUKE: But you could have done me the courtesy of letting me ask.

FUTABA: all that on the day of my daughter’s wedding and now u want me to do u a solid

FUTABA: well i have news for u

FUTABA: the answer

FUTABA: is yeah

FUTABA: sure why not

YUSUKE: Oh, excellent.

YUSUKE: I thought that you might decline on account of your illness.

FUTABA: i’m not a punk bitch

FUTABA: i’m going

FUTABA: u were only working all those paintings for like two months i wanna see their oily faces in person

YUSUKE: Just because they were made with oil paints does not mean that they are oily.

FUTABA: cant wait to see my oily boys

YUSUKE: Unfortunately, I have to set up the event beforehand, so I will not be able to accompany you on the way here.

YUSUKE: Will you be alright by yourself?

FUTABA: uh

FUTABA: hmm

FUTABA: how oily are these boys in case i need to call a rain check

YUSUKE: Hmm.

YUSUKE: Perhaps someone else can go with you.

YUSUKE: Let me see if I can find someone.

FUTABA: what like one of ur art friends

FUTABA: i’m not going with anyone i dont know sry

YUSUKE: I’ll keep it in mind.

Tuesday, 1:59 PM

YUSUKE: Unfortunately, Ann and Ryuji were not available. Both of them will be coming late to the art show.

YUSUKE: Fortunately, Goro is.

FUTABA: whomst

YUSUKE: Goro Akechi?

YUSUKE: Crow, in case you know multiple Goro Akechis.

FUTABA: no like why u callin him goro

YUSUKE: I asked him if I could and he said yes.

YUSUKE: There’s not many people left in Tokyo who were part of the Thieves.

YUSUKE: I’m not exactly popular at school myself, so I thought it prudent to hold onto the connections I already had.

FUTABA: hhhhhhhhhhhhh

FUTABA: but why him……………………………………….

YUSUKE: Has he done something wrong?

YUSUKE: Well.

YUSUKE: Besides the obvious.

YUSUKE: Last I heard, you were quite vocally supportive of Goro making a change for the better,but have you prehaps reconsidered?

FUTABA: i mean he’s always been nice to me

FUTABA: like even before he was on the team as crow

FUTABA: and then later after he like lost his shit and tried to kill us

FUTABA: he was also like weirdly nice

FUTABA: even if he was dressed as a tokusatsu villain

FUTABA: but

FUTABA: i

FUTABA: ok this is gonna sound really weird but like

FUTABA: you know how i said that the person to take me to the art show has to be someone that i know

YUSUKE: Yes.

FUTABA: even though akechi was one of the thieves at the end

FUTABA: i feel like i dont really know him

FUTABA: he like had that whole breakdown where he spilled all his kylo ren sadstuck junk and then he peeled his dumb ass up off the floor and then we beat up his dad in a dark alley

FUTABA: and then i guess akira likes him a bunch and hangs out with him and i guess probably talked to him about all that stuff that happened

FUTABA: and also i think ann talks to him

FUTABA: and also haru i think for some reason……………………..

FUTABA: but like i feel like. we as a group. never really uhhhhhhh

FUTABA: got to know him very well i guess

FUTABA: because he spent like the whole year being a fake ass bitch

FUTABA: and then by the time he wasnt, the thieves were busy literally fighting god, and it was all business business business

FUTABA: ughghfhg i guess this is just a really long way of saying that like yeah ok i guess i do know him but i dont think i really do

FUTABA: even when he was off the shits in the engine room it was like

FUTABA: somehow that was not……………………………….. really him

FUTABA: idk maybe this is just my Thoughts but like

FUTABA: idk some people are like “your true self is who you are at your worst” and

FUTABA: yeah maybe you are some PART of urself when youre at your worst but like

FUTABA: also not???

FUTABA: that can’t be it

FUTABA: that’s not ALL of you

FUTABA: so all i ever saw was him when he was being a fake ass barbie prince and then when he was like actively losing his shit

FUTABA: and both of those were like. two types of fake ass barbie prince

FUTABA: except obviously the one where he started screamin about murder and trying to kill joker was like, fake ass serial killer barbie prince

FUTABA: anyway i dont buy it for a second that seeing akechi at his worst means that i know the first thing about his “”“”“”“”“true self”“”“”“”“”“”“

FUTABA: like i know that i technically met him but also at the same time i dont think ive ever really actually met this dude

FUTABA: uh tldr what’s the truth crowboy

FUTABA: second tldr do you got anyone else i can go to the art show with because im not unpackin all that junk in the trunk while also trying to fend off a panic attack in the subway

YUSUKE: Well, to speak to "what’s the truth, crowboy,” I’d say he’s actually really funny.

FUTABA: WHAT

YUSUKE: Yes, actually.

FUTABA: YOU TRYNA TELL ME YOU SHARE A SENSE OF HUMOR W AKECHI

YUSUKE: As everyone knows, I don’t have a sense of humor.

YUSUKE: But if I did, that might not be inaccurate to say.

YUSUKE: Either way, we could ask Boss if he’ll take you to school.

FUTABA: no

FUTABA: im not makin him shut down leblanc for the day just cause i cant get my shit together

FUTABA: and i go to school by myself all the time now i dont need to be walked there by my dad like a four yr old

FUTABA: r u sure u dont have anyone else who can take me

YUSUKE: You said it had to be someone you know.

YUSUKE: I can take you.

YUSUKE: But I’ll be getting to Kosei early to prepare.

FUTABA: how early is early

YUSUKE: Four in the morning.

FUTABA: PLEASE INARI

YUSUKE: The people you know is a quite limited pool, Futaba.

FUTABA: shut the hell ur face i dont need u tellin me to make kosei friends too

FUTABA: i get my butt to school every day i’m already a hero

FUTABA: ok alright

FUTABA: crow-san it is

FUTABA: hhh

FUTABA: no shut up stop typing i’m fine

FUTABA: i already saw his dumb ass get inflicted with Horny from Yaldy God Himself i ain’t afraid of no crows

FUTABA: actually now that i remember that that was pretty funny mwehehehehehehe

FUTABA: OKAY send me the who what when where why

YUSUKE: There’s a PDF flier. I’ll send it to you.

YUSUKE: But I will have to type the email to send it to you.

FUTABA: oh my GOD inari

FUTABA: i swear to god ur not actually this dense and youre just pretending u dont know what an exaggeration is just to drive me up the wall

YUSUKE: Oh, that is a possibility, isn’t it?

FUTABA: WH

YUSUKE: Ah, last period is starting. I’ll have to talk to you later.

FUTABA: WHAT

FUTABA: NO WAIT

FUTABA: HELLO????

FUTABA: YUSUKE NO COME BACK

Tuesday, 2:53 PM

FUTABA: YUSUKE HAVE YOU BEEN MAKING AKECHI DO UR HW FOR U SO YOU CAN DO MORE ART??

FUTABA: IS THAT WHY UR ON A FIRST NAME BASIS W HIM

FUTABA: ANSWER ME STRINGBEAN

In Futaba’s opinion, there’s an infinite amount of more embarrassing reasons to pull yourself out of your depression pit than “I needed to yell at my friend for being a snotty bastard,“ and there’s worse escorts to have than the weird guy who went from being a professional murderer to their weird awkward friend. Firstly, if there’s anything that can motivate Futaba Sakura, it’s the primal urge to dunk on her friends for spite and memes. Secondly, there’s no chance in hell Futaba’s going to have a breakdown in front of Akechi.

She can do this. She got herself out of this grave once; she can do it again. Even if Akira isn’t here. She’s getting better. She promised him.

On the eighth day of her almost-return to hermithood, Akechi texts her:

AKECHI: I’m here.

AKECHI: Are you ready to go?

Futaba is wearing only an old shirt, no bra, sweats, and vaguely greasy hair from all the showers she’s skipped.

FUTABA: i’m SO ready

FUTABA: the readiest

FUTABA: ultra mega super ready

FUTABA: featherman ranger code name Ready

AKECHI: Oh.

AKECHI: Alright.

Hell yes alright. Time for Futaba to save her own life from her gravesite of a room.

With… Goro Akechi. Wow, life is weird, huh?

She drags on her Kosei uniform like a skin discarded long ago. It feels stiff. Maybe because it feels wrong to wear school clothes like a functioning human; maybe because she just hasn’t washed it in a week. The very idea of explaining herself to Sojiro stresses her out, so she doesn’t do it. The idea of not explaining herself to Sojiro, when he deserves an explanation and also would probably have a heart attack if he realized that she’d disappeared from her room without his knowing, also stresses her out, so she still doesn’t explain herself to Sojiro.

I told Akira I’m better now. I can do this. I did this for more than six months. I was out of my room in the real world, I went to the school festival, I changed my own heart…

She creeps down the stairs like a thief in her own house and pokes her head out the door. Goro Akechi is fiddling with his phone in the sun outside her house, looking like he, too, has only just managed to pull on his Human Suit and look like a guy who didn’t make shadows beg for mercy for fun, so it looks like this whole expedition is going to be a lot of fun.

"Futaba-chan?” says Akechi, only just noticing her lurking in her own doorway. “It’s been a while since we last saw each other. How are you?”

Futaba opens her mouth. No noise comes out.

Akechi’s eyebrows slowly begin to knit together.

“I’m good,” she says squeakily. Clears her throat. Holy shit, she’s not afraid of Akechi after all that junk they went through in the Metaverse. She saw him as a rat. She saw him visibly want to break his father’s face when Shido tried to apologize to him on live TV. Once, Makoto and Akechi got into an unironic, passionate, hour-long argument about whether or not it’s beneficial to color code your notes.

“I’m alright!” Futaba announces louder, maybe a little loudly, considering the way he looks only more concerned. “L-Let’s hurry up and get this sidequest over with!”

She pulls her hoodie over her head and jams her hands into the pockets and makes herself as small as possible and inches out of the doorway. “If you… say so,” says Akechi, and eventually matches her incredibly slow pace as she shuffles her way towards the main street.

When the noise of Yongen-Jaya’s street hits her, her heart rate (already high as hell) spikes even higher like the first day she’d come out of her room, but the old coping mechanisms come back like second nature: Breathe slower, avoid eye contact, remember her mission, stick to the sides of the streets. Breathe slower. She’s still got it. It’s still hard, but she’s got a whole arsenal of ways to deal. She can do this. She will kick Yusuke’s ass for being a dick, if only out of sheer spite.

If Akira were here, I could hide behind him and…

No, shut up, shut up. All she has is her hoodie and Goro Akechi. Akira’s not here. She can do this by herself.

Akechi makes precisely two attempts at small talk (“How has Kosei been?” “Have you seen the pieces Yusuke submitted to the art show before?”) before he realizes that Futaba isn’t going to respond by virtue of barely holding onto her shit by her fingernails. He shuts up and sticks close by. Futaba makes her way down the streets towards the subway like walking on a tightrope. The subway station isn’t busy, but she puts every step in front of her like she’s going to fall. Getting on the subway might as well be a highwire. Futaba and Akechi wait for the train in mutual silence to the sound of other commuters murmuring amongst themselves, like a toothless echo of Mementos’s depths.

When they get on the train, people around her are quiet, thank god, but all of a sudden she’s convinced that she smells because she hasn’t taken a shower in literal days, and she tries to pack herself into her seat as tightly as possible. The guy in front of her is scrolling through something at a ferocious pace and his thumbnail keeps hitting the screen with this incessant clack, clack, clack noise. The subway voice announces their next station as the doors begin to close, and a girl suddenly sits bolt upright, having realized that this is her station after all, and bangs Futaba’s knees hard as she passes. Futaba wants to curl her legs to her chest, but she’s wearing Kosei’s uniform skirt and it’d just make everyone stare at her if she did that on the subway. She curls her fingers into the skirt hem. She stares down at her knees and lets her hair drape around her like a curtain. She can do this. She can do this. Breathe slower. Even slower. I did this for more than six months, I told Akira I’m better now, I changed my own heart…

Akechi pulls out his phone. Futaba’s phone buzzes.

AKECHI: Are you alright?

FUTABA: i said i was ready dude

Akechi types and retypes an answer, which technically Futaba could just look over his arm and read, but instead Futaba flips through apps on her phone and pulls up a shitty mobile dungeon crawler. She dies four times before Akechi puts his phone away without sending anything.

They pass multiple stations like that. Futaba sure as hell hopes that Akechi’s watching which station they’re on, because she isn’t. After the millionth time she dies, Futaba just closes the app altogether. Concentration’s shot. Can’t focus on anything. Heartbeat’s too loud. Breathing’s too loud. The guy next to her is breathing too loud. Everything is too loud.

New text:

AKECHI: Yusuke said you’d recovered from your cold, but you still look a little unwell.

Futaba doesn’t respond to that. She doesn’t need Negative Nancy over here telling her she’s gonna crack. Because she isn’t gonna. The subway starts to slow, and the voice announces the station for Yusuke’s school. She’s literally almost there, she’s right there, she might die in three seconds because her heart is going to pound of her chest but at least she’s going to make it, she promised Akira that she was alright—

The subway doors open. Passengers stand to get off. Akechi stands up. Futaba drops like a rock.

“I can’t,” Futaba’s voice says. She sounds like she’s crying. “I can’t, I can’t do it, I—”

“Futaba—”

“I’m can’t do it, I—”

She buries her face in her knees on the dirty subway floor. Oh, she really is crying. “I’m sorry,” she says, “I’m so sorry, I couldn’t…”

Around her, people’s feet stop moving. They’re staring at her. She’s crying on the subway and everyone is staring at her. “Shh,” says Akechi, like Futaba doesn’t know she’s being a loud and irritating pest, but then he takes off his winter coat and covers her with it. Suddenly everything goes dark. It’s a huge coat, too; it wraps around her whole torso with enough room to spare to cover her entire head. Inside, it’s like she’s back in her room, only listening to the sounds of real life somewhere on the other side of a computer monitor, where it can’t hurt her. It’s so surprising she hiccups to a stop. Two hands pull her up by the shoulders and guide her to stand. “Up. Let’s go.”

“Is she okay?” says a voice.

Futaba’s entire body seizes with fear. She ducks into her own knees, trying to disappear.

“Hey, little girl, are you alright?”

“She’ll be fine,” says Akechi’s friendly, super fake ass barbie prince voice. “My sister just had a hard day. I’m sorry for the inconvenience.”

“A hard day?” Now the stranger’s voice is accusatory.

“For your information, our dog was recently brutally run over in front of her eyes.”

“Young man, are you serious right now?”

“Oh, yes. There was blood everywhere. Its intestines squelched horribly under the tires less than six feet away from her,” Akechi goes on. Futaba chokes, and then hiccups in what she realizes is almost a laugh. “Please excuse her. Thank you.” And before the literal complete stranger can follow up on that awful statement, Akechi takes her hand and pulls her up.

Futaba stumbles to her feet. If she has to take the coat off right now, she will actually die.

“It’s okay. Just hold my hand and follow me.”

Blindly, she lets him lead her out of the subway, weaving through people with only minimal contact with other people’s shoulders. There’s a whole awkward period where Akechi has to walk her up the stairs out of the subway station while she can’t see anything, but eventually the noise and bustle of other people around her seems to die away, and the air grows cooler in the way it does in the shadows between city buildings. Then they stop walking altogether. When Akechi lets go of her hand, she almost tries to grab it back before she catches herself.

“Okay. There’s nobody else around, now. It’s safe.”

Futaba doesn’t come out of the jacket. In the dark, her eyes dart back and forth, trying to see even as she blinds herself.

“Sorry for grabbing you so suddenly like that,” Akechi’s voice goes on after it becomes obvious she’s not going to come out.

Futaba wipes snottily at her own face. Oh, this is so gross, she’s got snot and tears on top of five days worth of grime and body juice because she hadn’t taken a shower. She’s disgusting. She really actually wants to die right now. She can’t show her face like this.

“Er,” says Akechi. “Do you want…. water, or…?”

Futaba folds up right there on the city pavement, probably dragging Akechi’s nice coat all over a dirty alleyway. She tucks her face into her knees, where she feels safest, and pulls the coat flaps even tighter. “I’m sorry.”

“You don’t have to be.”

“I’m sorry for not being okay,” she mumbles.

There’s a short silence. “You really don’t have to be.”

“I do,” Futaba says. She feels like she’s nine years old again, a petulant kid who needs to hold people’s hands and be escorted around Tokyo. “This is—it’s stupid, and I can’t believe I-I’m still doing this, a-and even a-after everything that h-happened last year, I’m still just a… I’m still…”

“It’s fine,” says Akechi. Even he sounds overwhelmed, and at the first sound of weakness, she pulls the coat off her head and glares at him furiously, red-faced and covered in tears and snot and gross depression juice crust and all.

“I’m not supposed to be this way anymore!” she says miserably. “I’m supposed to be better! Moved on! Doing literally a-anything else but crying over t-taking a subway! It’s stupid and nobody else is like this and I just want to be over this already and I just want to be better already and—!“

She covers her face with her hands again. God, even when she says that, it sounds pathetic.

After a moment or two, she hears Akechi moving again. She peeks at him. He’s crouching in almost the exact same pose as her, looking like he’s resigning himself to neither getting his coat back, nor moving from this spot any time soon, nor getting to Yusuke’s art show on time, but also looking archly and entirely unperturbed about it. Actually, it looks like he’s writing a work email on his phone.

Futaba was right about being in an alleyway, but it’s so cold because they’re shielded by a trio of vending machines selling canned coffee and wrapped sandwiches. "Our dog was recently run over?” she says.

“People can mind their own damn business,” says Akechi in his Pleasant Boy Voice, without looking up from his email.

“He was just trying to help.”

“Oh, yes, let’s help the crying girl by crowding her and suffocating her in a crush of public transit.”

Futaba snorts. “That was really mean of you.”

“Oh, absolutely,” says Akechi.

Futaba sucks a truly disgusting gob of snot into her nose. “Ugh. I wish I could’ve seen the guy’s face when you told him that.”

“It was like I’d spat on his shoes. I should’ve kept going. Or had a camera.”

“Futaba giggles wetly into her forearms. "Like one of those—those prank videos online… Get Yusuke to film it.”

“Yusuke, as the cameraman? I’m not trying to make a documentary.” Akechi flips to a different screen on his phone. “I already texted Yusuke about our poor dead dog, by the way, so don’t worry about it.”

Suddenly Futaba feels like literal garbage again. “Why are you always so nice to me?” she mumbles.

Akechi makes a weird face, like he’s trying to do his old Pleasant Boy shtick while having swallowed a lemon whole. “You say that like me being nice is somehow unusual.”

“Uh, yeah. Because it is. You literally were just being a huge asshole to a guy you’d never met over a fictional dog.”

Akechi has this increasingly disgruntled look on his face like he kind of wants to punt Futaba down some stairs, which, frankly, is the best sort of reward, in Futaba’s opinion. “I’m working on it,” he says grumpily.

“How’s that been?” says Futaba.

“Which part?”

Futaba has one whole moment of self reflection on this idea as maybe not a good course of action before she barrels on anyway: “The part where you’re turning your life around. Starting over. Trying again.”

“It sucks dick,” says Akechi.

“Oh, right on,” says Futaba, and then before she can stop herself: “Wait, I thought you liked dick?”

Akechi makes a noise like a strangled cat.

Futaba cackles. “Dude, incognito mode when you’re browsing for porn does not save you from people like me.”

“Have you been spying on me?”

“Uh, yes? Obviously?”

“You know you could get arrested for that sort of breach in privacy.”

“Oh, boo hoo, so sorry I know all about your weird orphan-saving night job and your smutty Featherman doujinshi collection. You’re not gonna narc on me.” Futaba stops. “Are you?”

“Stop looking at my internet history.”

“No. You better not narc on me.”

“Then stop looking at my internet history.”

“You had to google how to change a SIM card last week, crow-boy; you couldn’t stop me if you tried.”

“I will narc on you.”

“No you won’t. You’re the one trying to not be an asshole.”

Akechi makes a face like a cat being slowly submerged in cold water. Futaba laughs in his face.

“If you’re quite done,” says Akechi grouchily.

“No, never. You’re made for being made fun of,” says Futaba. “I’m gonna be making fun of you for years and years, crow-boy; you’re never going to get rid of me.”

“Great.”

“Gonna be creeping on your weird orphan-saving night job until the day you die.”

“Wonderful,” says Akechi without inflection whatsoever.

“Mwehehehehehehehehehe.”

“If you’re quite done.”

“I will take a well-deserved break from my endless duty to troll you both on and offline,” says Futaba. “Because I really really really wanna go to the art show.”

Akechi has the nerve to look relieved that he no longer has to squat in a dirty alleyway listening to a high school freshman bully him. “Then let’s go.”

Futaba hugs her knees tight. “But I wanna keep your coat.”

“Aren’t you wearing your own coat?” says Akechi, trying to look like he isn’t shivering. “Aren’t you getting hot?”

“I’m keeping it.”

“It’s my coat.”

“I’m keeping it.”

“Fine, then. Keep it. It’s dry clean only.”

“Oh, ew. No, take it back, gross, gross,” and Futaba peels the snotty, tear-stained, dirty winter coat off and dumps it back in Akechi’s arms, who looks at it with the expression of someone long-suffering and without hope of escape.

“And,” says Futaba, “I wanna see it if you tell anyone else that our dog got run over.”

Akechi smirks. “You’ll have to film it, then.”

“Oh my god, like I wouldn’t.”

Futaba scrubs her face one last time. She still feels like she’s covered in a grimy layer of slime, but maybe she can wash her face at Kosei. When she gets there. Because she’s gonna get there.

“Uh, one more thing,” says Futaba.

“Not like you’ve bullied me into doing literally everything else you’ve wanted,” says Akechi.

“You can’t laugh at me.”

“Good thing I don’t have a sense of humor,” says Akechi, which horrifyingly confirms to Futaba that Akechi and Yusuke, of all people, really do share a sense of humor.

Futaba hesitates. “Please, um… please don’t tell Akira about this.”

“Why would I tell Akira?“

"Nice. Good answer.” She smooths her hair down, trying to make herself presentable, or just have something to do with her hands. “I… told him I was gonna be okay without him and all that, so… I don’t wanna let him down, you know?”

Slowly, almost shyly, Akechi smiles. “Oh, yes. I know.”

“Our secret. Secret-keepers.”

“Secret-keepers. Are you ready?”

Futaba takes another deep breath. Pushes herself up, brushes herself off, and sighs. “Absolutely not. This is gonna suck so much dick,” says Futaba. “Let’s go anyway.”

#mine #slams hands on table FUTAGO SIBLINGS #futaba's dubious mental health cw #Anonymous

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luthien-t · 4 years

Text

The Sun Will Shine. (Chapter Three)

Summary: Thanos invaded the asgardians ship & Thor called for back up. Being a liable paramedic, you gather your tools and went to space. You end up being injured during battle but Thanos was defeated, what will you do when you find out your lover, Loki suffered more than just a few battle scars? But then again, no one is ever really gone.

Chapter Summary: Summary: You tell your teammates about your plans and proceed to find a place to begin your search for Loki

Wordcount: 2.0+K

A/N: Hiii, I finally got out of writers block and was able to write something, Im not very proud of this chapter but I dont want to stop writing it oop, tell me what you think!! I also want to organise my account and make a masterlist but im not sure when will i do that oop, anyways, Enjoy reading this!!

Morning came and you slowly walked towards the kitchen shared in the tower, everyone was here, except Thor. You sigh quietly, remembering yesterdays conversation you had with him. Everyone was busy with their own breakfast and coffee, Tony was reading his notepad, Natasha was making pancakes, Wanda was helping Steve wash the dishes.

“Good morning, y/n!” Bucky smiled softly & you smiled back to him before sitting down on the chair next to him, playing with the hem of your hoodie. You knew you had to say it, you just didn’t know how, Hey, guys I’ve decided to leave the compound cause I will be looking for Loki cause he’s not dead!! As if thats easy to say.

You run a hand through your hair as you noticed that everyone stopped whatever they were doing and was looking at you, that was when you realised that you had said those words out loud.

“I’m sorry, what??” Tony said.

“What do you mean what?” You sit back on the chair and cross your arms. Even if you didn’t mean to say it out loud, that doesn’t mean you weren’t not going to do it.

“y/n. I thought we talked about this?” Wanda chimes in.

“Woah, woah, woah. Talked about this?!” Tony starts, his voice going an octave higher in the end. “When did this happen?!” He looks at you waving his hands around, emphasising this and you shrug. “Last night.” You look up at him and continue. “I found a journal between my books and the more I read into the english words the more I realised that Loki not…” You shrug again. “You know..”

“Wait, english words?” He sits down in the chair in front of you and crosses his arm on top of the table. “So, you’re telling me? Dead reindeer games had a journal full of different languages for you to find him?” You shut your eyes at the new nickname he has for Loki, sure Tony always disliked Loki, wether it was because of New York, which was years ago, or just because he was always messing around with Tony. Well, Loki never cared about being on Tonys good side and that always bothered him, but for him to just simply mention Loki with the word dead in the same sentence, it caused your heart to ache.

“He is not dead!” You got out of your chair and looked down at Tony before sighing and running a hand through your hair. “Look, all I’m asking for is a little bit of help, we have nothing else to do now that Thanos is gone.” Everyone in the kitchen was looking at you both, it was getting quite and you looked at everyone while they avoided your eyes, you chuckle softly and nod before walking out of the kitchen and back to your room.

How could they refuse to help you when all you ever done to them was nothing but help them, you grabbed your bags not bothering to change your pyjamas and wore your shoes when you heard a knock on the door, you ignored it and kept grabbing any necessity you might need in the future.

“Let me see the journal.” It was Tony, you shook your head and went into the closet pretending to pack but only to hide the fact that you were tearing up.

He sighs “Y/n, I’m sorry for the way I reacted in the kitchen, you know that I am just looking out for you and I don't want you to be in denial, I know that you’re hurt-“

You walked out of the closet and handed him the journal. “Here, go ahead, tell me I’m going crazy.” Your voice broke and tears keeping piling in your eyes. He looked at you and frowned before pulling you into a tight hug. You barely had the energy to hug him back but your body kept shaking with the sobs that you have been trying to hold inside of you. He kept repeating how sorry he was for how he reacted but it didn’t matter, it did not change the fact that he might be right.

You stood there for a few minutes before pulling away and turning around to wipe your tears, he gave you the privacy that you needed while looking through the journal. You heard him sigh. “Y/n, I’m sorry but- none of this make any sense, not even the english. He was just messing with you,” was…You turn around and look at him, anger flashes through your eyes for quick second.

“He is.” You say before taking the book from him and putting it in your bag.

“Look, Tony, thank you for somewhat trying” You sniff and zip the bag closed. “But I’m starting to feel like I have to do this on my own.” You sigh loudly and look up at him, biting your lips to stop yourself from crying. He frowns and nod slightly. “I really am sorry.” He says quietly while watching you carry your bags. He wants to stop you from leaving, “Give yourself time to heal, at least, maybe we can watch a movie? Take the week off? Like you said, we have nothing to do now that Thanos is gone.” He chuckles, tying to lighten up the mood. He still believes that Loki is really gone and he doesn’t want to see you drown in a make-believe world where Loki isn’t actually gone. You continue to ignore him as you zip the rest of the bags and he sighs.

“Look-“ He looks at your bags and then back at you. “Where will you go?” He says as he grab one of your bags for you, If he can’t give you the information that you are looking for, he will at least try to show you the he wants to be there for you.

“Some apartment.” A short answer. He nods again, you want to tell him where but then that will mean he or anyone from the team will slow you down or try to bring you back to the tower.

“Do you need a car?” You shake your head and walk towards the elevator, Natasha sees you and notices the bag, she gets up to protest but Tony stops her with a raise of his hand before pressing on the elevators button, when the elevator arrives you take the bag from him and get inside. You smile softly at him before looking behind him to find Natasha and Sam and smile again, tears start gathering in your eyes again and you look back at Tony before the elevator door closes and thank him.

You can hear Natasha yelling at Tony the second the door completely shut and her voice slowly fades away as the elevator descends to the ground floor.

You are thankful that Tony did not press for more information and that he did not ask you to stay, you know the rest of the team are going to go against him for letting you leave so easily, but that did not matter to you, the only person that ever truly mattered to you was Loki. I mean, you loved every single person on the team with you, but Loki is different, it always has been, since the beginning.

“Lady y/n!” You saw Thor practically running toward you while carrying his brother. You dropped the file of the patient in front of you and ran towards him while the other nurses pushed a hospital bed towards Thor and his unconscious brother. “What happened?” You said as you helped him lay Loki on the bed. You checked his pressure and started inspecting his body for any injury.

The past couple of months since your first encounter with Loki, you learnt that Odins punishment for what he did to New York was to live in New York and do good to equal the bad he had done in the past. You also grew closer, your night shifts in the Med-bay also grew more interesting with Loki there to entertain you, you two would talk forever, but would also sit in silence forever, there was this invisible sheet of comfort around you two no matter what the situation was. With each passing day, your feelings towards him grew stronger. So, seeing him unconscious on the hospital bed worried you.

“We were practising in the training room and I might have attacked him too hard” Thor said as he looked down at Loki. “So I knew I had to get help.” He continued as a smile slowly grew on his face, he might have noticed the bewildered look on your face because he chuckled and patted Loki on the chest before leaving. You shook your head with confusion and grabbed the oxygen mask, so focused on your craft, you didn’t see Loki opening his eyes and grabbing your wrist. “Jeez!” You yelped and pulled your wrist from his grip.

“What on earth do you think you’re doing?!” You looked down at him, he smirked at you before opening his mouth. “Well he did get help.” He chuckled and sat up.

“Get help?! What game are you playing?” You looked at him with furrowed brows. He chuckled again, which only added more to your confusion. He noticed and grabbed the oxygen mask from your hands and crossed his legs.

“Well, he kept asking me questions about us and felt the need to help us by getting me to do get help with him. I didn’t mean to cause any distractions” He looked around the med-bay then back at you.

“Were you worried about me?” He smirked this time. Your eyes widen slightly and you grabbed the mask from his hands to put it back where it was, giggling nervously. “Of course I was worried, Loks”

Everything he just said kept repeating in your head and causing more confusion.

“What is going, Loki? What do you mean by us? There is no us.” You say as you start tidying up the area around you to distract you from whatever joke he is about to say.

“That is what I told him, he knows how I feel about mortals” He chuckled and jumped off the bed and walked towards you.

Right, you’re a mortal, how could you forget? He is a literal god, your feelings towards him will never change the fact that he only sees you as a ‘mortal’. Distracted by your own thoughts you didn’t see him standing behind you, waiting for you to notice, you swallow hard and turn around to face him.

There was a look on his face, like he knew something you didn’t. That look always captivated you, making you want to know more about him.

“But…” He looked down at you and messed with the buttons on your lab coat.

“But…?” You repeated his word back to him, earning a chuckle from him.

“But you’re not that kind of mortal to me, your soul is no mortal, your eyes have seen more from this world and your spirit speaks to me like it has been here longer than you have. When I speak of your kind, I don’t think of you like I think of them.” He smiled.

“Loki, I’m- I don’t understand-“

“You foolish mortal, I wish that you could understand what you do to me. I wish you could see how everyone thinks that there is an ‘us’” He whispered to you and slowly leaned his forehead against yours.

“But I thought-“

“You thought, wrong.” His eyes flickered down to your lips and that was when you understood what he meant by ‘get help’, you took his quick glances at your lips as a hint and kissed him. And ever since that day, you two have become more inseparable.

Distracted by your own memories, your feet lead you to where you are now, standing in front of a wooden door. You take a deep breath and knock on it. you wait a couple more seconds and the door opened.

“Y/n L/n.” He said as he smiled gently to you.

“Hello, Strange” You smile back to him as he moved aside to let you in.

#Loki Laufeyson #loki odinson #loki fanfic #loki x reader #loki odinson x reader #loki layfeyson x reader #loki x you #loki x y/n #loki

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casualmaraudering · 4 years

Note

congrats on the milestone!!! for a prompt: older wolfstar being cute (u can interpret ‘older’ how u want, could be post-azkaban or wolfstar in 2020 or whatever u want. just some wholesome older gays pls and thank u)

let’s just pretend canon isn’t real and they’ve been happy together all this time, voldemort doesn’t exist okay

this turned into a thousand words of pure domestic bliss and tbh im not even sorry

Remus wakes up to a distant sound of someone - with a very distinct and incredibly good voice, might he add - singing Queen’s “Love Of My Life”. The sun is barely peaking through the curtains; the morning glow is gentle enough to tell him it’s early in the morning.

He wiggles out of the cocoon of blankets he’s somehow created in his sleep - it’s almost unbelievable just how many blankets they’ve hoarded over the years -puts his slippers on (fluffy wolf slippers, complete with little ears and a tail - the whole family has an appropriate set of canine slippers, actually. Sirius thought it was too hilarious not to buy them), and shuffles downstairs towards the kitchen.

Just as he expects, there’s his husband, shirtless, hair put up in a messy bun, swiftly maneuvering around the kitchen while singing along to himself. The table is set with a variety of foods - there’s bacon and eggs, pancakes, toast, yoghurt and fruit, a pot of coffee (for Sirius) and another of tea (for himself). The post lays there as well, for now untouched. There’s also a rather big bouquet of flowers in the centre; there’s roses, tulips, peonies, even lupines.

Leave it to Sirius to ‘not make a big deal’ out of something.

“You’re up!” Sirius says to him, his face breaking into a bright smile at the sight of Remus. He dries his hands on a towel, throws it onto the counter, and walks up to place a quick kiss on Remus’s lips. “I made breakfast.”

“I see that,” he laughs. “You do remember the kids are in school and there’s no need to make breakfast for four people?”

“I’m perfectly aware they are,” Sirius hums as he gently kisses down Remus’s neck. “It’s a special day, though.”

Remus just nods, and then rolls his eyes when Sirius pulls up a chair for him.

“And they say chivalry is dead,” he laughs, reaching for the post as Sirius starts piling up his plate for him.

“Is there anything from Navi and Liam?”

“Yeah,” Remus goes to open that one first. He quickly gets through it, not bothering to read it all out loud - Navi likes to ramble, just like Sirius does. “Navi says she’s outraged at how ‘prefectly’ Liam is acting.”

“God, that’s just like me and James when you made Prefect,” Sirius laughs. “It’s good, though. He’s fit for it.”

“It’s nice to have something to be proud of, at least,” Remus comments. “A Ravenclaw Prefect. Don’t think Navi or Harry will ever do anything worthy of mentioning except maybe beat your detention record.”

“Excuse you, my daughter is going to be Quidditch Captain for Gryffindor soon enough, just you wait.”

“James certainly likes to think it’ll be his son.”

“James is a twat. It’ll be her, I can bet on it.”

“You and your Quidditch,” Remus hums with a smile as he gets through the rest of the mail.

There’s nothing else worth pointing out - just their kids excitedly writing about new classes, school drama, and what they might be getting up to in the near future. Harry sent them a letter too - something he always does, just like Navi and Liam write to James and Lily.

Even at this age, Remus can’t quite believe his luck.

He remembers coming to Hogwarts, aged 11, scared and alone and with a burden of so many awful secrets on his shoulders. And then came James and Sirius and Peter and Lily, and even though there was drama, and then certain revelations (in forms of himself and Sirius, and then, a little later, James and Lily), they made it through Hogwarts and after. They hadn’t drifted apart like Remus feared of, no - they became family.

And the little family of theirs only grew bigger. There was Navi, and then very soon after, Harry. Regulus and his wife, and their new baby boy. Liam, too, whom Navi befriended during her first year on the Hogwarts Express, who was the most polite and sweet boy, turned their daughter’s best friend, turned son when he suddenly left home two years back (just like Sirius had, once upon a time) and they took him in without a second thought.

At 36, Remus quite possibly has everything he’d ever want and more.

“Can I show you your gift now?” Sirius asks suddenly.

Remus looks at him in confusion. “I thought we agreed on no gifts.”

“Yeah… I kinda lied.” Remus furrows at him. “It’s nothing big, I promise! It’s not even a physical item.”

He sighs in defeat. “Okay, what is it then?”

Sirius bounces in his seat, turns to face him, and starts undoing a bandage on his arm.

He came back with it yesterday, and Remus didn’t think much of it at all; yet another tattoo, and Sirius has so many by now that Remus hardly ever asks about them anymore.

This one, though, Remus doesn’t even need to ask about when he sees it. He can’t ask, even. His voice is caught in his chest.

Right there on Sirius’s upper arm is a wolf and a dog Remus has been well acquainted with - Sirius got it tattooed on their first anniversary, when he was 17 (and positively insane - Remus yelled at him, then, telling Sirius it’s dumb to do that, since they’ve no idea if they’re even going to be together in five years and yet Sirius went ahead and got that inked onto his skin).

Now, though, the wolf and dog are joined by two little puppies - one black just like the dog, with the same joy to its expression (just like Navi, who’s a breathing image of Sirius in so many ways); the other brown and tame (the same shade of Liam’s hair, even complete with the curls). It’s a magical tattoo, so the pack is moving; the dog is bouncing around with the black pup, while the wolf is licking the brown one.

“I thought, twenty years together, we’ve two kids now. Seems appropriate,” Sirius says with a laugh. “D’you like it?”

“I love it,” Remus says, his fingers tracing the tattoo - the animals bounce around his fingers in joy, one of the puppies even barking at it soundlessly. “Sirius, that’s-”

“Shush, no getting emotional. I have like ten of these I got done for you. Thought it’s right about time to have a family one.”

Remus takes one more look at the ink, and then kisses Sirius longingly, only pulling away after he’s out of breath.

“I love you.”

“I love you too,” Sirius replies, and even after 20 years together, there’s still just as much honesty and youthful joy in his eyes - Remus is yet to tire of it. “Happy anniversary.”

#im an EMOTIONAL MESS CAN YOU TELL #sorry for the shameless insert of my ocs sdjhfksdf #sirius black #remus lupin #wolfstar #wolfstar fanfiction #my tag #fel writes #tysm for the request i love you a lot youre a great friend

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ziracona · 4 years

Note

I reread your bit about rin in the last chapter and oh my god im crying. You did my girl justice. I'm so proud of her and i'm glad she had fun. I love the thought that she's helping him in little ways. ;') and oh my god. i love the myers siblings. Do you mind if I ask for hcs? because oooohhhmygod. need more

Awww thank you so much! I really liked the Adam-Rin segment too. I wanted to talk about Rin, but being an Onryo made it so I just couldn’t feasibly in the bulk of the story. Really glad I still got to give her her moment in the sun. : ) Adam’s such a great dude too, and I’m so happy he found meaning the way he did and keeps up such an active and deep relationship with someone who’s passed on. It’s not an easy thing to do, but I think it’s kind, and meaningful. And sure! I’m not sure if you mean Laurie and Mikey or Judith too since I got a few Judith asks yesterday, but ima assume this is ILM related and you’re looking for post-fic Laurie & Michael (sorry if that’s not the intended ask TuT). I did more but this is already a lot so I didn’t post them all haha. Here you go!

Laurie would be very unlikely to make the first move in a romantic relationship. She’s so used to prioritising survival, even when she’s okay again her brain is always, “keep homeostasis” as her directive, and adding a relationship does not fall under that listing. That said, she definitely still develops feelings, and would want things to happen. But I think it would be slow. I think with Laurie, she’d be going to lunches and having long talks and drinks and staying up and falling asleep on the couch together, in and out like each others’ presence belongs in their respective homes, come to each other for support and with hard days and for life advice, go to the theatre together and let them buy her a drink like they always do without being asked, brought back a nice gift from a trip, she waits up for them to get home to greet them, for like 1-3 years solid before one day they just take her hand and kind of smile and she realises she’s been in a relationship for two years and they just never said it, and maybe they won’t now, maybe not for another two years, but they know it, and she’s so happy.

Michael never cuts his hair short, but does not mind Laurie making him let her give him ponytails when they’re working on something, because it does get in his face.

Laurie softballs Michael for a while, since, well, she’s trying to help him reintegrate into society as a human being after having had a childhood that was basically just a 15 year stretch of psychological trauma, and being kind and supportive is a must. But after a few years, she’s gotten much more comfortable and sibling-ish in her interactions. She’ll definitely still be serious and supportive if anything happens and he needs it, but she’ll also give him shit for eating her food or not getting up off the bed she’s trying to make. He enjoys annoying her and does it for fun. Will hold eye contact and eat the cupcake she was saving just to watch her flip, like a cat batting an orange off a counter (or, you know, a sibling who’s feeling /that/ vibe rn.)

Laurie is 99% of Michael’s impulse control. If he and Quentin do something together without her, it /will/ be a disaster, because where Laurie inflicts neutral levels of chaos on the group w her lawful, Michael will almost instantaneously get Quentin to swap from lawful to chaos if she’s not there. They will both be fine, but there /will/ be something on fire when she gets back.

Laurie, walking into the house and seeing then throwing objects into a burning wastebasket in the living room: I don’t like what I’m seeing. Bring me up to speed.

Quentin: So, we maybe have illegally destroyed a car—but it’s okay! We had a good reason! Plus, we destroyed the evidence. Let me explain. So, this guy-

Laurie: :/

Michael: *gives her a ‘what’s your problem?’ gesture*

Michael and Laurie physically fight for nostalgia’s sake sometimes (for fun-get exasperated and performatively MMA. They would not actually injure each other).

One time, Laurie and Michael were walking home together from a movie and a guy drove by and whistled at Laurie and said something vulgar, and Michael stepped into the road and smashed the front of his car with his foot. It was beautiful. They did have to flee the scene but Laurie was /gleeful/. The dude in the car saw his gd life flash before his eyes and rethought some life choices.

It is a long time before Michael is willing to take any kind of meds for his psychosis (very understandably), but when Quentin eventually graduates Med school, six or so years later (bless u Jake for forging him some credits), he is willing to try a few given by him. It is not a good or easy couple of months, but he does it.

Michael gets along surprisingly well with the survivors. Most of them are pretty intimidated, but he’s genuinely chill, and they’ve been through weirder shit so 🤷🏻‍♀️ it’s like “Welp. This might as well happen.” and accept him in. Meg is a big thot. She’s into Susie and would never cheat and Susie knows this, but Meg will still flirt like crazy with Michael bc it’s her personality, and Michael, who’s never had this ever happen, is /beyond/ confused. Every time she says something stupid like, “Damn you’re tall. If I wasn’t a married woman, I’d climb you like a jungle gym.” He gives her the exact look Sam gives Gollum when he’s dissing potatoes in lotr.

Since she knew his and his family’s whole names and his wife’s face, Laurie tracks down Sujan’s family and tells them everything she can about what happened and how good he was, and what a difference the first person in the realm who was kind to her made.

Michael really enjoys traveling. He’s been cooped up his whole life. Spent 15 years in one little white room, and then 40 in reproductions of Haddonfield in the realm. Really, except for his solo journey from Wisconsin to home, he’s never left the state of Illinois. He goes with the survivor squad on their group trips, once he’s comfortable enough, and is consistently amazed. He’s not a very visibly emotive person, and can’t physically be bc of his psychosis symptoms, but his eyes will get big seeing the northern lights from a platform, and he’ll grab Laurie or Quentin’s wrist & point to make sure they’re seeing it too, and Laurie has never been so happy. After his first trip, he very much looks forward to the annual event.

Dr. Loomis is the only thing Michael as an adult has ever feared. (Obviously all humans feel temporary fear, like if a car comes at you or someone with a gun. But past instantaneous shock-fear, I don’t think Michael has ever been afraid of anyone else). This is based off of canon, because to me Michael reads as scared of him, especially in Halloween 2. He pauses and then retreats from Loomis in the first film, and when he sees Loomis running down streets looking for him in 2, he hides (I actually really love the Michael pov in Halloween 2 in the open. It was very humanising). Then, at the end of 2, when he’s blind and Laurie and Loomis have filled the room with ether, and Loomis tells him it’s over, he stops trying to find and kill Loomis and freezes. I genuinely think because he was scared of Loomis and has been for years (after that treatment constantly in isolation as a child, how could he not be?) and has known since he was 6 Loomis wants to kill him, so when he basically says “I’m about to kill you,” he believes him and it scares him. It’s the axe that’s been waiting to drop since he was a kid.

Laurie goes to cons with Nea, Quentin, & Min occasionally, and has dressed up as all three OG Star Wars protagonists like the lovely huge nerd she is. Has also made Michael sit down and watch all the movies w her.

Michael and Laurie go visit Judith a lot. They’ll pack a picnic lunch and talk with her and about her at her grave. It was very hard the first time they went there, especially for Michael, but after a while, it helps. It’s a way to deal with what was done in the past that makes it seem surmountable. It also helps to deal with the loss of someone they both cared for. When they go, Laurie always gets Michael to tell her something about her older sister she hast heard yet. David tracks down an old high school album from 1963, and is able to get three pictures of Judith colorised and they’re able to have a nice full-color photo of her to hang up in the house.

#long post #ask #anonymous #in living memory (fic)#in living memory #ilm spoilers #spoilers #laurie strode #michael myers #dead by daylight

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somedayonbroadway · 5 years

Text

Growing Up, Getting Married and Letting Go

Part 3

It was today. It was happening. It was happening now. Race was about to get married and he was sitting in his small tent, manufactured to be his dressing room, completely freaking out.

“What, kid? What’s wrong?” Jack asked gently, though he knew Race was about to have some kind of panic attack. That wouldn’t be good for anyone.

“I don’t know if I’m ready for this... what if this was a mistake? What if it doesn’t work? I don’t want him to have to deal with everything that comes with me!”

A few months ago, Jack would’ve told Race to just let Spot go. He would’ve told Race that it was okay, that he wasn’t ready. He would’ve swept him up and let the kid believe that he still needed him.

But Race wasn’t a kid anymore.

“Tyler James Kelly... do you love that man?” he asked quietly, squatting down in front of his brother. Running a hand through his hair. This wasn’t Race not being ready. This was Race not wanting to be a burden. When Jack got a small nod in response, he continued on. “Does he make you happy? Make you laugh?” Again, the boy nodded. “Do you want to be with him all the time?” With a small laugh, Race nodded once more, wiping at his tears.

“Yeah... yeah, I love ‘im...” Race admitted, sniffling a bit. “But-“

“He feels the exact same way about you, pal,” Jack promised. “You are not a burden. He loves you. He wants to take care of you just like you want to take care of him...” he continued, practically begging Race to just pull it together. To not make a mistake that he’d regret for the rest of his long life.

“Okay...” Race whispered, standing up and rushing to hug Jack. “I love you, Jack.”

All Jack could do was hold him back. “I love you too, Racer... now let’s do this thing.”

Jack got to walk down the isle alone. So did the rest of the wedding party. It was a beautiful field, ran for miles. Lights hung everywhere as the sun set. Jack stood next to Crutchie on Race’s side and Hot Shot and a girl named Riddle stood on the other side. The crowd wasn’t too big. Honestly, Jack didn’t pay much attention to them. All he had eyes for when some old love song started playing was the two people at that end of the isles, coming from opposite directions to join in the middle.

The look on Spot’s face said it all. He was in love. So completely, helplessly and hopelessly in love. Race would be okay. They all would be.

The two grooms joined hands as they made their way down the small isle. They grasped tightly to each other as they made their way forward, only truly having eyes for each other. They were in a world of their own.

David stood in the center of the stage, waiting to officially marry the young couple. And when they made it there, Jack could see the tears in both their eyes.

The ceremony was perfectly slow. Even David was doing his best not to get emotional as he made a few jokes and talked about how he knew these two kids and how he’d watched them grow together. A tough kid from Brooklyn, kicked out of his parents house, living in his car. A small, sick, self conscious kid from Manhattan taking life one day at a time. They were so different and yet somehow they were meant for each other.

And then, they had things to say to each other.

“Tyler... Racer, you are... everything to me. When I met you, part of me already knew that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you,” Spot stated. Race let out a watery laugh. “You are the most beautiful person that I’ve ever met. And I promise to tell you that every goddamn day. I promise that I will love you and protect you and worship the ground you walk on because you are my world, babe...”

It was rare for Spot to speak his heart like that. And Jack has never expected that. He really hadn’t.

“I know that I can be irrational and I can get angry and you are the only one that’s ever been able to pull me out of the places that I get into. You saved me, baby... you save me everyday that I get to wake up and know that you’re mine. I promise to always be yours and do my best to deserve you. I love you...”

Race smiled and let his thumb brush over the edge of the sleeve tattoos that traveled down his fiancé’s arm. “Wow...” he whispered. “How ‘m I s’posed ta follow that?” he laughed as Spot reached up to wipe at his tears.

“With a dramatic flair,” Spot shot back. Jack knew that it was an inside joke. But he couldn’t help but laugh a little at it.

Still laughing, even through his tears, Race took his vows from David and let go of Spot’s hands to read them, his hands trembling as he did so. “Spotty... I don’t know what else I can say, except that I love you...” Race began slowly. “I grew up without a lot of people to count on. When they find out how difficult I am to be around, they run the other way...” Race stated, wiping at his eyes again. “I don’t mean the hospitals n’ the meds n’ the coughs. People ‘r fine with that,” he clarified quickly. “I’s talkin’ about the way I blow things outta proportion n’ collapse afta’ a day a work cause I’m dyin’...” Spot laughed at that. Race did too. “I neva’ thought that I’d fall in love. I believed even less in the possibility a’ someone fallin’ in love with me... but even afta’ seein’ me at my weakest, you’s was still there... n’ you stayed till ya knew I was betta’...”

Jack remembered it all. Every moment of Race sobbing because his new boyfriend was going to leave. He was going to think he was weak and stupid and too much.

That’s not what happened. Not even a little bit.

“I promise to neva’ forget everything that you’ve done for me. I promise that I will always stick with ya, no matter what. When you’re strong and when you’re weak and everythin’ in between n’ I promise that as long as you’re next ta me, I will make you smile and laugh. I will always love ya, Sean. I could neva’ love no one else the way I love you...”

They slipped the rings onto each other’s fingers and Jack’s chest tightened. David walked them through saying “I do,” and his heart beat faster, until finally, the words “I now pronounce you Mr. and Mr. Higgins-Conlon. You may kiss,” were spoken.

The two young men grinned at each other before Spot pulled Race to him and their lips locked against each other.

Jack heard cameras clicking. He heard people cheering. All he could do was watch as Spot swept his little brother off his feet and then carried him down the isle.

It was still hard. But his brother was going to be okay. He was still with someone who loved him.

The wedding photos were happening while everyone settled in at the reception. Jack watched the two grooms laugh as they posed with one another. Darcy snapped pictures and positioned them in sickeningly cute positions before they got Race to stand with Crutchie and Jack.

Eventually, Darcy asked Crutchie to step aside, so that he could get a shot of just the brothers. And Jack didn’t know if he could do this. But the second he looked at his kid, his heart melted. He was more happy than he ever had been in his entire life. Jack knew it by the grin on his face. And he couldn’t help but smile right along with him.

He wrapped an arm around Race’s neck, pulling him close and pressing a kiss to the back of the child’s head as his brother grinned at the camera.

And Darcy snapped the picture quick.

��My little brother is known as many things...” Jack began. Everyone in the small tent that their reception was held in was watching him. But he didn’t care. “More than anything, he’s known as a pain in my ass...” Race was sitting in a chair beside Spot who was getting the day’s date tattooed on his wrist. It was Hot Shot’s wedding gift to them. Race was getting his next. “He has always been notorious for doin’ exactly the opposite of what I tell him to...” Race laughed at that. So did some others. So Jack continued. “Don’t run. Don’t pick fights. Don’t play poker. Don’t date the boy from Brooklyn.”

At that, everyone laughed. Jack just smiled over at the couple. “I didn’t know what ta think when I saw a kid walkin’ my brother home outta nowhere. He was covered in tats, wore a leather jacket n’ rode a loud as hell motorcycle n’ he was everythin’ I wanted Racer ta stay away from,” Jack stated honestly. ”But that didn’t stop him from seein’ him. Sneakin’ out at night ta go on dates. Textin’ him n’ not tellin’ me about it. N’ I didn’t know until Spot called me one night. From then, on they were inseparable...”

It felt like yesterday. Race wasn’t supposed to grow up. “Tyler... you are the most important person in the world ta me. Even my wife knows that,” he laughed. Katherine nudged him from her seat beside him. “And I need you ta know how proud I am of you. You’ve made it so far. You found somethin’ special n’ you damn well betta’ hold onto it as tight as you can... n’ Spot... there ain’t no one in the world like my baby brother. You hold onto him as tight as ya can n’ you neva’ let go...” Jack instructed. The other man nodded at him, reaching out with his free hand to grasp at his husband’s. “You two are both so strong. So much stronger than you know. N’ now ya have each otha’ which makes ya even stronger...”

Glancing around, he grabbed his glass off the table and raised it up, nodding over to his baby brother who was watching him with happy tears in his eyes. “So now we’ll raise a glass ta you both. Congratulations, baby brother...” he smiled. “To Sean and Tyler Higgins-Conlon...”

An echo of the words filled the room. And everyone drank.

And Jack had finally let go.

#newsies #fanfiction #Sprace #request #jack kelly #racetrack higgins #spot conlon

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nogoodmox · 6 years

Text

since it’s late n u guys have been so encouraging

i wanna preface this by saying....im not a Writer and this is pretty much the first wrestling-related thing i’ve ever written. also this was written at 3 am yesterday so pls keep that in mind ALSO it’s not very. romantic bc 1.) im not good with that stuff and 2.) it’s kinda covering the early stages of their relationship so they’re barely even friends yet! (this takes place right before war games!)

that being said thanks for being so nice abt it guys ur all the sweetest and i love u and i’m sorry this isn’t Better but constructive criticism would be appreciated! mwah!

Pete tapped his fist against his jaw in a needless effort to hype himself up.

The guaranteed brutality of his upcoming match didn’t faze him—brutality was his specialty, after all— but despite that, he couldn’t shake off an uncomfortable feeling.

Maybe it was the thought of having to rely on others for his victory, or maybe it was the thought of them relying on him. Neither were things that he was exactly used to.

He wondered, when the time came, if he would put himself in harm’s way for the sake of the others.

Pete thought of the last time he had relied on someone. It was ironic in a way, how the same person he had tentatively began to trust would be one of his opponents tonight.

He had never really thought of Roderick as a friend, just a sort of unavoidable ally. His eagerness had been irritating as was his general disposition, but Pete had chosen to put his trust in him. A choice he’d come to regret.

He liked to believe that the betrayal had made him all the more dangerous now. Not only could he use his desire for vengeance to his advantage, he’d also be sure not to make a mistake like that again.

Pete had operated just fine on his own for as long as he could remember. There were a select few times where he’d tried opening up, and each time he paid for it. It took a few experiences for the lesson to be drilled into his brain, but at least now there was no way he could forget it.

He should stick with what he knew best, and what he knew best was solitude.

Keep interactions short and bitter. You look out for one person, and that person is yourself. Everyone else is simply an obstacle or dead weight.

It was a philosophy he lived by, and one he truly believed in. There just happened to be times where he’d let it slip and thought maybe, just maybe, someone could be an exception. But they never were.

A steady knock on the locker room door disrupted his thoughts. A faint feeling of pain registered in Pete’s jaw as he realized he’d been tapping his fist against it this whole time. Before he could say anything, the door opened and Ricochet’s head popped in.

“You got a minute?”

Pete didn’t answer, he just raised an eyebrow when he noticed something in Ricochet’s hands. It looked like a tube of toothpaste.

Ricochet followed his gaze and held up the object, wiggling it in his hand. “Oh, this? Yeah, it’s kinda why I’m here, actually.” He walked up to Pete and held it out to him. Pete read the label, which only confused him more.

“White….face paint?”

The other man adjusted his North American Championship on his shoulder. “Yeah. Y’know, war paint for tonight. It was Hanson and Rowe’s idea. They figured we should at least look like a cohesive unit.”

“What’s the point of that?” Pete deadpanned. “Face paint won’t get us a win against Undisputed Era.”

Ricochet looked at a loss for a second, then sighed. “C’mon man. It’s to pump you up, get you excited to kick some ass. Plus it’ll look cool, yeah?”

Pete wasn’t very convinced, but he wasn’t in the mood to argue. He did admittedly like the idea of amping up the intimidation factor, not that he was going to tell Ricochet that. “Fine. Might as well fool people into thinking we’re a real team.”

“S’that supposed to mean? We’re a real team. Cole and his cronies are gonna see just how real we are tonight.” Ricochet declared, giving Pete a few taps on the chest.

Pete stiffened at the contact and glared at the highflier. Ricochet was someone who currently fell under the obstacle category in Pete’s eyes. He hadn’t forgotten the match where both their titles had been on the line. They never received closure, and Pete intended to change that next time they crossed paths in the ring.

He’d prefer for Ricochet to stay an obstacle rather than become dead weight.

“I’ve said it before, you’re just a guy carrying a piece of gold that I want. As for the other two, they’ve already got each other. We may be on the same side, but we’re not a team.”

The grin on Ricochet’s face weakened a bit. “Man do you like, practice this stuff in a mirror before you talk to anyone?” He chuckled at his own joke—was it a joke? The weight of Pete’s words didn’t seem to mean much to him, however, as he quickly bounced back. “Anyway, face paint, yes or no?”

“Sure.” Pete said.

“Great.” Ricochet tossed the tube of paint to Pete. “Doll me up.”

Pete barely caught the tube in time. He whipped his head up to face Ricochet, trying to make sure he had heard him correctly. “What?”

Ricochet had placed his title on the bench next to him and met Pete’s gaze expectantly. “What? I can’t put it on myself. There’s no mirror in here.”

“Then find one.”

“No can do.” He almost looked smug, as if he had planned this. “Bathroom’s closed for repairs, apparently Kyle and Bobby thought it’d be fun to flush Sullivan’s gear down the toilet. He caught ‘em in the act.” Ricochet let out a whistle. “It wasn’t pretty.”

Pete didn’t want to hear any more. For whatever reason, Ricochet was intent on sporting war paint, he might as well indulge him. After tonight, he could set his sights on what really mattered.

“Alright. C’mere.” Pete placed his championship on the bench opposite of Ricochet’s and squeezed some paint onto his fingers.

He lifted his hand only to pause suddenly, leaving it hovering in front of Ricochet’s face. “What’s their paint look like anyways?”

Ricochet thought for a moment. “It’s like…a V shape on each cheek.” He explained, tracing the motion over Pete’s cheeks with his finger. “Simple enough.”

“Right.” Pete grunted, doing everything he could to ignore the way his face had heated up. He pressed his fingers to Ricochet’s face and began painting the design, trying his best to keep his hand steady.

Pete came to a halt when Ricochet started giggling quietly. He gave him a strange look, pulling his hand away.

The other man took a moment to compose himself, then cleared his throat. “Tickles.” Came the simple explanation. Pete rolled his eyes and continued with his work, retracing the lines to smooth out the jagged edges.

He paused again to add more paint to his fingers, avoiding Ricochet’s gaze. Pete could feel the man looking at him and unconsciously tossed his head a bit to let his hair cover his face.

As Pete started on the other cheek, he noticed Ricochet hadn’t stopped staring at him at him, almost amusingly.

“What?” Pete finally asked, with a hint of challenge.

Ricochet seemed unbothered. “You’re just a lot more careful than I thought you’d be” He said, a little quieter than usual. It was unclear if the remark was meant to be teasing. It seemed sincere enough, but even if it was Pete wasn’t sure what the implications were.

Pete said nothing and averted his eyes again, finishing with a final swipe. “There.” He muttered. “All done.”

“Great! I’ll just have to trust that it looks good.” Ricochet reached up to touch his freshly painted face, then decided against it. “Alright, your turn!”

Pete froze, he hadn’t thought that far ahead.

He wasn’t particularly keen on anyone paying close attention to his face.

It was bumpy and weird; he knew this. Acne scars and uneven stubble were just the beginning of it. It was something he’d learned to accept, but he wasn’t exactly dying for others to get a good look at it.

Regardless, he knew Ricochet wouldn’t take no for an answer. If he had, Pete wouldn’t have just spent the past few minutes spreading paint on his face in uncomfortable silence.

Ricochet took the paint tube from Pete’s hands. “You mind uh…” He made a hair flip motion. “Getting that out of the way?”

Pete looked down at his hands, covered in white paint, and decided to go with option two. He swung his head to the side—a little too forcefully—and flipped the blond mess back. He was satisfied for a moment before it came toppling back down in his face.

It was times like this where he seriously reconsidered growing out his hair.

“I gotchu.” Ricochet intervened, looking even more amused than before. He tucked Pete’s hair behind his ear to keep it from coming loose again. “Sure got a lot of hair homeboy.” He commented.

“Guess you can’t relate.” Pete replied bluntly.

Ricochet laughed out loud at that, almost too eager to make fun of himself. “Guess not.” He emptied what was left of the paint into his hand and got to work. Pete winced at the cold feeling, trying not to pull away. “But you know,” Ricochet continued. “The lack of hair could be the secret to my speed.”

Pete wasn’t fully sure if he was joking. “I reckon that’s why you got pieces missing in your eyebrows too?”

The highflier laughed again, this time not as loud, but a huge smile graced his face. “Man, you’re alright.”

Ricochet spread the paint on Pete’s cheeks with ease, moving just as smoothly as he did in the ring. Pete fought with everything he had to try not to break out into a fit of laughter. Ricochet was right, the feeling made him ticklish. His lip curved upward in a smile that he quickly pushed away.

“All set.” Ricochet finally announced, looking proud of his work. Pete didn’t doubt that the man had probably done a better job than him. “Now we look like a force to be reckoned with.”

Pete held couldn’t help but soften his expression a bit. He felt cool, and far more relaxed than earlier. Once again, he wasn’t going to tell Ricochet that, but he appreciated the feeling. “If painting faces keeps you from screwing up tonight, then so be it.” He replied with a shrug.

Ricochet shook his head, and if Pete didn’t know any better he’d say he was annoyed. “You never quit do you? Y’know we can do this whole rivalry thing without all the little remarks, yeah?”

“Cause make no mistake,” Ricochet’s tone grew serious. “I’m just as focused on that title of yours as you are on mine.”

The sudden change surprised Pete, but it didn’t faze him. After all, this was why he kept up his guard so high. He knew behind every person there was a set of intentions, and each interaction with him was a means of achieving them.

“I’m well aware.” Pete said evenly. “S’why I’m not buying this partner ruse. We’re not friends, and we never will be.”

Ricochet paused for a moment. “Just ‘cause you’re a future opponent, doesn’t mean we can’t be on the same page now. It’s no ruse, I’ve got your back tonight. I mean that.”

“Better to have your own back first.”

Ricochet lifted his hand to rub the back of his neck, looking unsure of where to go from there.

“You’re a tough nut to crack.” He said finally, leaning down to grab his North American championship. When he came back up, he was smiling again. “But I’m willing to prove where my loyalties lie out there. There’s no hiding in the ring.”

Pete eyed him for a moment, then nodded briskly. “That’s one thing we can agree on.”

“I’ve got another. We both wanna beat the hell out of those undisputed assholes, right?” Ricochet offered. “That snake Roddy’s gonna be out there tonight. If you ask me, you should focus on giving him the ass whopping he’s had coming instead of making enemies out of your partners.”

An odd silence followed his words. Pete didn’t know how to respond, and Ricochet’s intense gaze wasn’t making it any easier. In his heart Pete knew he had a point.

He was more than willing to take on all four members of the Undisputed Era himself, but he knew realistically he wouldn’t come out victorious. He needed Ricochet and the War Raiders whether he liked it or not.

Just one night couldn’t be so bad, right? Even if it involved putting his faith in other people. Ricochet had nothing to gain from betraying him. Hanson and Rowe, he wasn’t so sure, but considering how fixated they had been on the Undisputed Era for the past several weeks, it was unlikely.

Ricochet saved Pete from having to muster up an answer by reaching over and picking up his United Kingdom Championship. Pete’s eyes widened and he tensed up, ready to snatch it out of his hands.

There was no need to, however, as Ricochet placed it snugly on Pete’s shoulder.

He gave it a few pats, admiring the intricate design on the belt for several moments.

Ricochet took a few steps back, his own title sitting around his waist. “You look good.” He said finally. “Let’s do work tonight, mate.”

Pete’s partner tossed the now empty paint tube in his hand once, then turned to saunter off.

“Not your mate.” Pete replied in a half-hearted protest. He couldn’t see Ricochet’s face as he left the room, but Pete knew he was smiling.

“By the way, the bathroom’s perfectly fine. Just figured we could use a team bonding exercise.”

#heh #there u go #like i said not very romantic #but idk ihope u enjoy! thanks for being so nice guys <3333333 #mine #ig #writing for wrestlers like pete or dean is really really hard #cuz i love them so much im afraid im gonna mess them up

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beatconductor-blog · 6 years

Text

AA: y0u tried t0 c0ntact me? AA: s0rry i was busy being a...grub

😎: i got as much yeah 😎: i guess you ungrubbed 😎: bc listen uh 😎: shits wild 😎: hey you know how you told me sometimes i gotta risk shit 😎: im having second thoughts AA: d0 tell 😎: id rather not 😎: jk 😎: just uh 😎: give me a moment 😎: alright so uh 😎: hey funny story did you know socks also called dave 😎: and also i shouldnt be here in the first place and this is probably the biggest mistake of my life and boy i did a lot of those AA: ... hm AA: i supp0se i AA: c0uld have put th0se things t0gether already 😎: could you or did you 😎: and does that mean were in unanimous agreement that i should gtfo yeah kay cool AA: i did n0t AA: and n0 AA: where d0 y0u want t0 gtf0 t0 😎: yanno 😎: anywhere else thats not here 😎: out of this city 😎: this universe 😎: peoples life > Deleted. AA: hmm AA: let me c0nsider this briefly AA: n0 😎: okay 😎: but uh 😎: i guess shits a lil awkward 😎: like someone shitting into the punch bowl at a wedding awkward(edited) AA: a little bit yes AA: but y0u didnt kn0w did y0u? AA: y0u still d0nt kn0w the full st0ry i assume 😎: yeah no 😎: but i know a lot of other shit 😎: and just 😎: well shit 😎: i guess this is all a lil too much too handle 😎: and im kinda still panicing 😎: look arent you proud of my incredible self-awareness AA: y0u d0nt have t0 handle it right n0w y0u kn0w AA: y0u are pr0bably still sh0cked y0u sh0uldnt decide anything right n0w 😎: alright whos gonna do the deciding then tho AA: im deciding y0u need a g00d hug 😎: sounds like a sound decision AA: im c0ming 0ver then 😎: alrighty 😎: uh ara 😎: thanks

Coco 👑Yesterday at 8:19 PM > There's a knock on Dave's door about half an hour later. rootyYesterday at 8:31 PM > There's a loud noise as something gets knocked over, and then most more hasty scrambling. Then a moment of silence, which totally isn't you trying to make yourself look somewhat presentable right in front of the door, nope. > Then you open the door. And boy, it's a mess. You and the apartment. You look like you didn't sleep in three days, which is probably about right, and there's stuff all over the apartment because you most likely didn't stay in a single spot for more than five minutes. > Also, a soft cawing from like three crows that got very comfy inside because of a window that's been open for just as long. Coco 👑Yesterday at 8:39 PM You got worried that whatever got knocked over was Dave for a moment there but he does manage to open up the door, so that's something. The mess inside is easy to ignore, you know Dave well enough and you grew up with a bunch of brothers. The mess that is Dave though... Utterly pitiful. You just pull him into a tight hug right there in the door. rootyYesterday at 9:02 PM Oh, you didn't expect that to go so quick but... Man, you didn't realize how much you really needed that. You stand there awkardly for a moment, then your arms try to find their way somewhere through Aradia's mane. You realize there's no way you can say anything without your voice shaking, so you choose to just be quiet and let that happen. Coco 👑Yesterday at 9:31 PM Nothing a good long hug can't at least make a little better right? But all good things must end so you eventually let go of him to make your way to his couch, kicking off whatever crap is on there. You gesture at him to come sit with you. "You look like shit Dave." It's important to be honest right? rootyYesterday at 9:38 PM "I know." There it was, the shaky voice. And that half laugh didn't really cover it up. You gladly follow her to the couch though and let yourself drop next to her. And... then what? Being honest sounds like a good plan, but you honestly don't know where to even start. So you opt to just bury your face into her and let out a long-drawn-out noise. Coco 👑Yesterday at 10:01 PM "Shhh..." You just pet the mess in your arms. What can you even say about this whole mess? Not a lot. God knows he has every right t be fucked up over it. rootyYesterday at 10:26 PM

Oh hey is it getting wet or is that just you? No, it's totally not your face that's leaking. After a couple of minutes you actually manage to calm down some and turn, so you're lying somewhat comfy on Aradia's lap and just start babbling on your own as the silence gets unbrearable.

"So... you know... Sock being a Dave isn't really the problem. I've- I've talked with alternates before. That of other people and my own. The multiverse is a big and weird place. The issue is that he's, like, THE Dave. The- the one from here. I- I almost forgot this isn't my place... That I came from somewhere else. But... I didn't think he'd exist. He wasn't there. There was only Bro and- Fuck, Bro..." Your voice cracks, but you're not done yet.

"The shit he said about Bro. I thought he was a better one...." Now you're done, as your voice slowly dies in your throat. Coco 👑Yesterday at 11:05 PM This is actually the first time you have seen Dave become this undone and it's breaking your heart. Worst of all there's so little you can really do for him except for stroking his hair in a weak attempt to calm him down.

"You couldn't have known that about him though. You didn't know he's around when you arrived here right? Don't blame yourself for something that was out of your control."

Bro though... It hits you just now how little you actually know about this man beyond him existing somewhere maybe. That's about all Dave ever told you and Sock never spoke about him at all until just yesterday.

"How...How did Bro treat you then?"

rootyYesterday at 11:16 PM

Don't Blame Yourself is a real big fucking word for you. Aradia should know that. But then again, hearing that little reassurance from her was kind of helped. "Better than him..." This one did, at least. It's not that you wanted to keep anything hidden from Aradia this time, but more than you yourself were absolutely not ready to delve into whatever the fuck you left behind.

Coco 👑Yesterday at 11:25 PM

You know that's asking a lot of him but damn, there's nothing to be gained by blaming himself for everything all the damn time. "Well... Perhaps he wanted to make up for how he treated Sock? Whatever the reason, that's not your fault either." rootyYesterday at 11:34 PM

Your hand finds hers and just... holds it. Presses it against your head. The more contact, the better. The only way to make this all somewhat more bearable."This whole thing is a fuck." Coco 👑Yesterday at 11:39 PM

You other hand finds his cheek and gently pets it. Shhh... "It is. But it's not your fuck, you are just along for the ride. That and.. You don't even have the full story do you? Like why Sock wasn't around? Don't run away to earth before you at least talked to him okay?"

rootyYesterday at 11:43 PM

"I'm not, alright. I'm just... I don't know." The touch helped. Something nice you could focus on. "God, he must be freaking out..."

Coco 👑Yesterday at 11:47 PM

You can have plenty of touches Dave. "Probably, yeah... But he's at home, I'm sure he's safe."

rootyYesterday at 11:50 PM

But can you really be sure, Aradia. You sigh. "What do I even say to him.."

Coco 👑Yesterday at 11:51 PM

"Well knowing you guys... Some awkward introduction while you both pretend everything is fine until you eventually break down enough to actually tell each other what's on your mind."

rootyYesterday at 11:53 PM

You actually finally open your eyes and give her an annoyed look. Mostly annoyed because you know she's right. "Thing is I still don't know what's on my mind. It's all a mess. ..I don't wanna leave him hanging though."

Coco 👑Today at 12:01 AM

"Well we're here to try to sort your thoughts a little."

rootyToday at 12:10 AM

"Well uh. Here's a thought: I hate everything that's happening. I want him to be alright though."

Coco 👑Today at 12:15 AM

"Sounds reasonable. Sounds like there's no way around talking to him too though."

rootyToday at 12:19 AM

You gesture with your free arm. "Well yeah but how!! 'Hey Sock I know things are hella awkward but I appreciate you' doesn't really cut it does it?"

Coco 👑Today at 12:23 AM

"Why not?"

rootyToday at 12:24 AM

"..." You stare at her. "Does it?" Listen. Aradia should know you're bad at this.

Coco 👑Today at 12:30 AM

"It's a start isn't it? It's reassuring to hear that you still care for him!"

rootyToday at 12:31 AM

"I guess. I hate how everyone always makes that shit sound so simple."

Coco 👑Today at 12:38 AM

"It's not simple. It's really hard, but it's important. You just have to try to explain as best as you can and it'll be okay...ish."

rootyToday at 12:40 AM

"Okayish. Now that sounds realistic for once." Actually, okayish sounds pretty okay. Better than what's going on right now.

Coco 👑Today at 12:41 AM

"Okayish can turn into okay with time and some work you know? It doesn't have to be okay right away."

rootyToday at 12:44 AM

You make some frustrated noises. "Why can't it just be okay right away."

Coco 👑Today at 12:48 AM

"You can't just cheat your way past everything else, that's why." You get his frustration though. He get's a big forehead kiss.

rootyToday at 12:52 AM

You pout. "I can still try." But you've actually managed to calm down a bunch. Who knows, maybe not everything would go up in flames.

Coco 👑Today at 12:58 AM

Boop his nose. "Your cheap cheat codes won't work on your brain Dave. Can't glitch through that things walls either." He looks a little better and that makes you smile.

rootyToday at 1:02 AM

"Hey now. You haven't even seen half of what I'm capable of yet. The other half got stuck in the floor once." Her smile actually makes you smile. Damn those gross contagious feelings.

Coco 👑Today at 1:03 AM

"Did you take pictures of your messy glitchy brain? I'd love to see them."

rootyToday at 1:07 AM

"Yeah, but it all looks like vaporwave and dick jokes. Kinda lame, if you ask me."

Coco 👑Today at 1:12 AM

"Aw. I do like this silly brain of yours a lot."

rootyToday at 1:14 AM

"Getting quite mushy there, miss."

Coco 👑Today at 1:15 AM

"Oh no! I will turn it down!" You pull away your hands. No more pets.

rootyToday at 1:17 AM

Oh. No!!! Your desperate noises say that you liked that. Don't take hands away.

Coco 👑Today at 1:18 AM

"But Dave...I can't keep on touching you. That's mushy."

rootyToday at 1:22 AM

"Aw shit. That's a problem. What do you advise?"

Coco 👑Today at 1:29 AM

"Allowing me to mush you up"

rootyToday at 1:30 AM

You wrinkle your nose in fake disgust. "Aw man. Fine. Just this once."

Coco 👑Today at 1:35 AM

Kiss his cheek.

rootyToday at 1:37 AM

Oh. Oh no that's more mush than you expected. And makes you blush a little. Just a little.

Coco 👑Today at 1:40 AM

"Don't get all mushy on me Dave."

rootyToday at 1:41 AM

"Shut up. I'm not. You are."

Coco 👑Today at 1:49 AM

Kiss his nose.

rootyToday at 1:53 AM

Eeeeeeee alright that's getting too much for you to handle. "Okay alright yep." You sit up and rub your face. She can't see how much you're blushing when your back is turned to her. It's like for a moment you actually forgot how much of a crush you got on her. Whoops.

Coco 👑Today at 1:56 AM

"We already done with the cuddling?" You pout.

rootyToday at 4:44 AM

"Sorry girl, I know you can't resist me. I just don't want you to overdose on this Strider quality." Super smooth safe. Almost as if you didn't learn anything.

#logs

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arreumddawo · 3 years

Text

27/3/21

HIIIIIIIIII, i’ve only blinked and its already MARCH. this time last year, what was i doing? i think i’ve already went for this current job interview and then a while later, the lockdown was announced~ but wow, time really flies huh. *cues the angmoh man blinking gif*

for the most part, i really want to write down the feelings i’ve been feeling (melancholy and loneliness) for the past few days and how i’ve sorted them out internally AND how i just want the future nabilah to just READ this and REMIND HERSELF that everything will be okay. it will be okay you dramatic, overreacting bitch! it will be okay. haha okay lets starteu~

#/melancholy

i’ve been feeling downcast the past few days. i dont even know where to begin. melancholy as well as feelings of sadness and depression have always been a part of me since 2017 im not gonna lie but lately, these episodes got a little bad despite me trying to keep myself occupied hahah. for the most part, i am just really really afraid of getting older. i really am. its not so much of the “getting older part” which gets to me i guess but its more of how lately, i just want to turn the hands of time and go back to my past when i was 16 in secondary school (heck even primary school) and just live a life where i didnt have to worry about anything except for studying you know? where times were simpler and i was (definitely) happier. i miss wearing a school uniform, i miss only having to worry about my studies, i miss being at home at noon and watching disney channel until i accidentally nap and not understanding trig/physics/chem. oh- what id give to be in my youth again. id do anything. i would study harder and change my whole course of life and hope that i could be someone im proud of. im desperately clinging on to good memories. i terribly miss being young. i really do.

and recently, i feel like im expiring, i feel old (really old) which is funny cos ive only turned 23 BUT the fact will always be that im turning 24 this year (2021) AND its when the bone-crushing realisation of getting old really sinks in (for me). i find myself looking back at my accomplishments (which trust me is little to none) and i just feel like people are accomplishing great things (even at such a young age). there’s nothing in my life where i can truly be proud of. what have you done with your life, nabilah? questions i ask myself everyday. but then again, people would say the past experiences have shaped who i am today and without them, i would’ve been a completely different person WHICH brings me back to the next point. the current me right now who is writing this post is not someone im all that proud of either. i feel like- i feel like im struggling (keyword: struggling) to achieve great things before i turn 30 (and trust me when i say i dont even want to live that long of a life). i’m tired of adulting, of getting old, of having to worry about financial issues, of having to worry about whether i’m at that milestone where everyone expects me to be, of wondering whether im really suited for this field im currently working in. im aware that it may be very shallow of me to think this way considering that there are some people in their 30s who will probably read this, laugh at me and say “you’re still young + you still have a long way + you still have time to figure out your life” but the FACT is THAT im NOT young! i still have a long time to figure out my life? yeah that is if i plan to live way over my 30s (which i DONT). side note, my biggest fear is actually living a long life. so.. like.. what now?

#/loneliness

this is a very touchy topic for me considering that i am planning to devote myself to the single life and dying a virgin because i really dont think (keyword: really, really) there’s a man good enough for me out there. even if there is, he lives only in my imagination. and yes, as embarrassed as i am to admit it, YES i do feel lonely at times. honestly, i really thought that loneliness is something im able to handle really well considering that ive been single.. what? my whole life? LOL HAHAHAH (its true. sucks to be ugly.) but yeahhhh as of late, during times when things get hard at work and i start tearing up in public transport on the way home, when home doesnt feel like home anymore, when the world conspires against me... i look up and wonder @God, “don’t i deserve someone who i can talk to, who loves me for who i am, who doesnt mind the mess i am?” ok that was abit cringey but yeah i used to be ashamed of secretly wanting someone special despite swearing to the single life BUT thats just how it is! and honestly i feel that humans are not psychologically meant to be lonely, that is why we’ll always crave for a partner (even if we dont need one). but all that aside, its not like im going to even try and find one (like i said, there is no one good enough for me out there) and i absolutely detest the idea of getting married and having kids so i will have to suck this lonely feeling up and just live. for the most part, i just wanted to point out how lonely this adult life can be.

side note: its really great that i have a really good support system (my siblings and friends), so yeah.. i’m really grateful for that<3.

things i want the future nabilah to read (now that i have come to terms with these feelings):

phew that was a rollercoaster now wasnt it. now that you’ve typed all that and acknowledged what you feel, i have a few things to say to you.

i just want you to know that you are (as much as you dont want to hear this or dont believe in this), you are doing well (at least the future you reading this wont look back and be embarrassed of who you were). you may not have done well for o’s, may have slacked a bit during poly and uni and regret everything academic wise (and yes personality wise) but always remember that, these things do not define the authentic real you. not getting into a local university and not achieving greater things in life during your youth, these are trifle things that you shouldnt be ashamed of or even beat yourself up about. after all, they dont matter in the afterlife?? so like, stop it. its not like you can go back to the past and change it, you only have control of the present and thats WHAT you have to work on. as tough as it may be, as much as you refuse to get old, the harsh reality is that you have to and you will. you have a degree and you’re getting experience working in the field you have always been curious about and you’re on your way to get a another diploma under your belt. you’re really doing the most if i must say??. and you’re so lucky to be able to love what you studied and do what you like. off track and a side note, i wanted to tell you that i woke up today feeling a tremendous shift in me (and i really honestly think its because of the conversations i had with zim, bff and syiqs the past consecutive days). but i honestly woke up feeling excited at what i have to offer the world. you may not be the prettiest and the smartest but the amount of love you have (and willing to give) in your heart, the feelings of empathy you’re capable of and the change you want to make in lives.. these are things that define you and you can do just that. there are times where you will definitely feel afraid and wonder if you’re doing the right thing but as long as you keep reminding yourself of your morals and values, i think you’re pretty much on the right track.

and i know, i know you hate yourself more than anything else in this world. the face you see in the mirror and the horrible things you feel inside you, your dumb thoughts and all that but i really pray that in the years to come, you’ll grow to be kinder to yourself (and definitely the people around you). be kinder to yourself and have courage to face your flaws and work towards being a better person everyday. be kind to everyone (especially your parents) and just have a little faith that you can go through many hurdles in your life. you cannot do everything but you can do some great things and that is enough. i dont have to remind you that everything here and now in this world is just temporary right? remember the podcast you heard yesterday? true happiness will be in the afterlife, inshaAllah. death will come for you, you just have to be patient and never forget to work towards the afterlife. also dont feel too lonely. ultimately, you know you dont have the mental capacity for things like marriage and having kids and all but dear nabilah, if you get lucky and love comes to you one day through Allah, i hope that you dont close your doors firmly shut to it and embrace it if you may (only run when the guy proposes cos u aint got no time for that). last but not least, please never let go of good memories. cling on to them and let them be attestations of your kindness and love. always be kind and always try to be better for the people around you. i hope you’re smiling as you read this, i hope you’re proud of who you have become and i hope that you continue to always remind yourself of amazing person you are, despite all that you went through.

- 23 year old nabilah (technically 24 this year but hey SUCK IT TIME IS A SOCIAL CONSTRUCT)

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another-mentalhealthblog · 3 years

Text

It all started out with a waffle.

Yesterday morning, I woke up relatively early. It was a Saturday, and I woke up before 7am. I believe this was largely because I woke up to the smell of waffles.

My dad made waffles on his waffle iron, something he now does on occasion, but something that he always used to do when I was a kid.

And that’s the thing.

As a kid, after I grew out of eating cereal, I would always eat two waffles with butter, syrup and a glass of apple juice as my breakfast in the morning before going off to school.

As a child, I didn’t think anything of this. I didn’t think about the calories, the carbs, the sugars, the fats... how “healthy” or “unhealthy” it was for me to be eating that at the beginning of every day.

It was just my breakfast, and it tasted delicious. And that’s all that mattered to me.

But somewhere along the way, the relationship that I had with food changed.

It started when I was a sophomore in high school.

I got out of my first, long relationship. Two years. And needed something else to fixate on, I guess. So I turned to my body.

I began to look at myself in the mirror and realize I hadn’t been taking care of myself, and I didn’t like the way I looked. In reality, there was nothing wrong with the way I looked.

But I told myself I had too much fat on my stomach area. And I didn’t like the way my thighs touched.

So I started working out more, eating “cleaner” and “healthier,” and overall... less.

This is when I started to look at food as “good” and “bad,” ... “healthy” and “unhealthy.”

Food went from just being food... to having all of these different labels and categories.

I even had a calendar hung up on my wall where I would circle the date in green if I had a “good” day where I worked out and ate “clean” and “healthy” all day... in yellow if I felt like I slipped up and could’ve done better... or in red if I didn’t work out and didn’t eat within my clean and healthy standards.

All of these things were aimed around one, singular goal, of changing the way my body looked on the outside, so I would feel more confident about myself.

Little did I remember, that there is so much more to being confident than how you look on the outside.

A whopping seven years ago, I also created my first health and fitness blog on Tumblr, called Believe and Achieve. Where I would reblog transformation photos, photos of girls with flat, toned, tanned stomachs, almonds, fruits, vegetables... everything related to weight loss and shrinking yourself smaller.

On February 27, 2013, I wrote a text post, entitled, “Goals.”

My goals were to exercise every day and keep eating healthy meals and snacks. To not let an unmotivated attitude take over me again and make me lose progress. Keep eating healthy and keep exercising. To make money from babysitting to consider paying for a plan to go to the gym more. To go to the gym minimum of twice a week. To not skip more than a day a week and don’t indulge when it’s “really not necessary.”

I said, “It takes three months. By the end of May and the beginning of summer I will be so happy I started now and not then. I have to get there but I have to start now."

I can go on and on and on about the things I used to write on this Tumblr. I used to be so, terribly hard on myself when it came to eating and exercising. Let us just visit two more, shall we?

Another post I wrote was... “A healthy lifestyle sucks somedays, and today is one of them. I hate how i have this huge weight of guilt on my shoulders after eating three moderately poor meals today and not having time to workout this week. I feel like such a failure. i hate feeling so damn bad for eating things that i wouldn’t have considered “unhealthy” this time last year. it’s good that my eyes are opened and I can tell the difference between healthy and unhealthy, but this guilt thing for eating things that I consider unhealthy now and not working out even though I really didn’t have any time is the worst.”

And another post I wrote was... “someone please help. I NEED to know how to not binge :( i literally can’t have sleepovers or go to parties or vacation without over eating crap food and i know that’s not awful to do every once in a while but i feel like this month i’ve been doing it way more than every once in a while, so it’s not “okay” anymore. and all it does is make me feel bad about myself: while im doing it, all night after i do it, and especially the next day, but i keep doing it. and if i binge really bad then i honestly loose my appetite and don’t want to eat the whole next day even though i know my body needs nutrients. i know im wrong, but i feel like all of this binging has wiped away all of my hard work that i started in the spring because honestly my stomach has definitely gotten bigger and i’ve lost sight of the muscle i was building. if anyone took the time to read this please send me an ask with some advice, i need it.”

And one last post: I constantly caught between wanting to eat 100% clean and healthy so that I see more results, and wanting to enjoy life and being a teenager. I know that sounds silly because if I just dedicate myself to eating clean (or at least cleaner than i do now) for a few weeks, I’ll grow into it and it’ll become a habit and i can still “enjoy life” and “be a teenager.” I also know I can make unhealthy choices in moderation here and there too. but I feel like my unhealthy choices (ex, this past week: pizza saturday night, a barbeque dinner and birthday cake sunday night, pizza tuesday night, suki hana yesterday afternoon..) are putting me in a stand still where I exercise enough, but only eat like 50-60% clean.. so its not that im not seeing any results, just enough to satisfy me. because I’m not fully dedicated, because I want to be able to eat what I want and again, enjoy being a teenager. it’s tough.

So I think we understand how poor my relationship with food was seven years ago.

And what has happened since then?

It’s been a roller coaster of ups and downs that would honestly take hours for me to get into.

But I want to fast forward into the present, and talk about my day and night last night, just to show you that change is possible.

So yesterday, I woke up to the smell of waffles. And I will honestly admit that I am still healing my relationship with food, after seven years, because of the internal dialogue that goes on in my head when I smell a food like waffles in the morning.

While this internal dialogue used to be so loud and control the decisions I was making when it came to food, it now a more of a whisper that I can tell to shut the hell up.

It goes a little something like this.

I smell the waffles. I think, “Should I go for it? Or should I eat something healthier - like oatmeal? Or eggs and toast?”

In the past, I would have eaten something “cleaner” or “healthier” to stay “on track” with my goals. Or I would have eaten the waffles and mentally ripped myself to shreds for eating something “unhealthy” and “getting off track.”

But yesterday, I realized how much I have made and am making true growth and progress when it comes to my relationship with food.

Because I reached for not one, but two waffles, without any guilt. I put butter and syrup on them. Even paired them with a cup of coffee with two spoonfuls of dairy free vanilla creamer.

I ate the waffles. Enjoyed every bite. And realized how much growth and progress I have made over the years.

Another thing about yesterday and these waffles was that I knew my family was ordering dinner from The Cheesecake Factory that night.

Normally around this time of year, my family and I spend a day in Philadelphia doing Christmas things and going out to lunch or dinner. Since we couldn’t do that this year because of COVID, we decided to bring the tradition into the safety of our home.

So instead of going out to lunch or dinner, we ordered dinner in from the Cheesecake Factory.

Another proud moment of growth for me.

Because in the past, I would’ve ordered something low calorie, no carb, clean, healthy, etc. Especially when there is a low calorie “skinnylicious” section on the menu.

But the current version of myself wanted a burger. So I ordered a classic burger, with the bun, and french fries. And thought nothing of it, except how much I have grown in my relationship with food, and how excited I was to eat it.

In the past... knowing I had appetizers, a big, fat, burger, and a piece of Linda’s chocolate fudge cake coming for me that night, I would have deprived myself of food during the day, or made sure I ate 110% clean, healthy, low carb and low calorie leading up to the big Christmas she-bang of food at night.

But yesterday... I started the day with waffles. Exercised for my mental health, in a way that felt good to me in the moment. A mix of a 20 minute leg workout, 10 minutes of cycling, 15 minutes of stretching and 5 minutes of meditation.

Had a protein shake after exercising. And did not alter my eating during the day because of what I was going to be eating that night.

Honestly, I don’t know how I got here. I don’t know how I went from being a person who would hate herself if she didn’t eat clean and healthy and workout for 7 days straight. To a person who exercises in such a healthy way, for her mental health, and doesn’t diet or feel guilt around food at all anymore.

Truthfully... I know two of the biggest things that got me here were changing the kinds of people I follow on social media. And allowing myself to break up with the scale, and my old beliefs and habits.

Because we’re humans. We’re meant to grow, change and evolve. You are supposed to and don’t have to always stay the same.

And I am proud to say that I am living, breathing proof that you can go from food guilt and restriction, to complete food freedom.

Eat the waffles. Eat the burger. Eat the fudge cake. Enjoy your freaking LIFE. And then, the next morning, you wake up and move on with your life.

This morning, I went back to my regular routine of coffee and oatmeal. Soon, I’ll have another meal or a snack, maybe exercise for 20-30 minutes, and, again... just continue on with my life.

Your life doesn’t have to revolve around weight loss, achieving a flat stomach, having abs, and always eating “clean” and “healthy” all of the time.

You are allowed to live your freaking life, eat your favorite foods, and do whatever brings you peace, happiness and joy. Especially during the holiday season.

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mysplaced-pen · 7 years

Note

Heyo~ Its Stars Anon here ! Like I said yesterday, todays request is gonna be kind of an angst one (???) So, how would the RFA + V + Saeran help MC get out of an unwanted abusive relationship? Sorry if its a bit much but I crave angst mk. Anyways I hope you have a good day/night ! Be safe and stay positive ! (Lolol thats becoming my catchphrase i guess) -Stars Anon

Stars Anon, I like,,, really like this request. I don’t know why, but I got so excited when I read this. i think its cause i need to practice my angst so let’s go! (⌐■_■) look its a V emoji

thanks for the daily request! good night/day to you too, and stay safe as well!! (i think it is lol

this got hella long;;; EDIT: but i rly liked this one so..i took off the cut...whoops

v and saeran are here! [tw: violence, abuse, language, unhealthy relationships smh]

zen

zen was highkey upset when they learned that mc was taken already

but as long as they were happy, well, he was too

they did grow close, though! the two of them were good friends

zen actually met the person mc was dating

they seemed nice and seemed to have a connection to mc

but he’d be lying if he said that it didn’t hurt a little

mc’s date mate kissed them in front of zen once and wow did that sting

but one night, zen heard a knock on his door. and he was so confused because it was past midnight

he opened the door to find mc, crying and with a developing black eye

automatically brought them inside and had them sit on the couch

“mc! are you alright? no, that was stupid, what happened? who hurt you?”

they can’t answer through their tears at first so zen kneels in front of them and wipes them gently

“take your time..i’m right here, mc. you can tell me anything”

they manage to choke out that their date mate hit them during a fight

zen was shocked. their date mate did that? they hit mc?

what he wanted to do, was get up and punch mc’s date mate right then

but he focused on mc first. pulled them into a hug and offered them to stay the night

once they stopped crying, zen brought them an ice pack and some tea

zen told them they had to get out of that relationship, but mc refused at first

“mc. they hit you.” “I know zen, but I can’t leave them..I shouldn’t even be here right now. oh my god, this is all my fault-”

“how is this your fault, mc? babe, you did nothing wrong.” “Don’t call me that! Please..don’t” they yelled that first part, which surprised zen

he was about to ask, but there was a bang on his door

mc yelped, sitting back on the couch. “they found me…”

oh now zen is Angry. he opened the door and found mc’s date mate

“I know they’re in there! Give them back to me, right now. I wasn’t done with them.” mc is shaking in the back

zen, however, stood his ground. “how about you fuck off. mc isn’t going anywhere”

they punch zen (!) mc yelled out for him when they saw him stumble back

zen is quick to recover though and punches them in return, harder.

he manages to get them out of his house, but goes back to mc with a face worse than theirs

“zen! you shouldn’t have done that, I’m so sorry!”

“they won’t bother you anymore, mc. you don’t have to apologize.”

“but-” “how about instead of apologizing, you stay with me instead?” “…i’d like that”

yoosung

yoosung was happy just having mc as a friend, at first

but then he developed a crush on them, which would’ve been fine and all, but they were already dating!

he thought he was cursed for a few hours tbh

unlike zen, yoosung never met mc’s date mate, but he’s heard stories

mc smiles every time they tell those stories, so he tries to smile along with them, but it’s hard

and it was getting harder, but today was the day yoosung was supposed to meet mc’s date mate. he was going to go over to mc’s so they could all have lunch

when he got there, however, they were arguing.

“why do we have to have his kid over? I’m sure he just wants to get in your pants. And you’re gonna let him, aren’t you?” an unfamiliar voice. “of course not! yoosung is my friend..” mc’s voice

“you don’t need friends! you’re dating me. I’m all you need, you whore”

ok yoosung hates language like that, so he knocks on the door

mc’s date mate spoke again. “fuck off! you can’t have them, they’re mine.” “i’m sorry yoosung, maybe we can reschedule?” “reschedule my ass”..yoosung kind of lost his patience

he takes off his hair clip and picks the lock wow someone’s a badass

the door slams open and he can see mc flinch, but their date mate stands up

“mc is coming with me” and mc tries to go over to yoosung, but their date mate pulls them back over “take them from me, if you can” they smirk

yoosung knows that he probably can’t fight the person, but there’s something else he can do

no one is exactly sure how this happened, but now mc’s date mate is laid on the table, with yoosung holding them there

“let me say this again. mc is coming with me.” “yeah, ok, sure dude.”

yoosung lets them up and goes to take mc’s hand, but then the other person tackles yoosung instead

“yoosung!” mc yells out, running after the two of them, trying to get yoosung free

they eventually do get him off and mc slaps their date mate(ex date mate now)

they run out and when they’re far enough, mc tells him that stuff like this has happened a lot..

yoosung hugged mc and kissed their forehead, “it’s over now, ill protect you”

jaehee

jaehee knew that mc was dating someone else, but that was fine, jaehee just wanted mc to be her friend, anyways. r u sure jaehee?

things were just fine! they all got along, everything was fine

until, out of nowhere, mc started hanging out with jaehee less

by now, they haven’t hung out with her in going on 2 weeks

jaehee gets a little worried, so she calls mc

and they pick up! but she can hear…sniffling?

“hey jaehee, sorry I haven’t been over lately” “I’m more worried about you, mc….is everything alright?” “oh, yeah! everything is ok, just..i don’t think i can hang out with you anymore, im so sorry-”

and then mc hung up. well….that was weird

jaehee had a feeling there was probably more to this than mc let on

so she decided to head over to their place to check on them

but they weren’t there. their date mate’s house, then.

jaehee knocked on the door, mc’s date mate opened it and crossed their arms.

“what do you want?” “is mc here?” “that’s none of your business” jaehee raised an eyebrow. “as their friend, it is a bit of my business…so they are here” “even if they were, you can’t see them.”

jaehee takes a step forward, mc’s date mate doesn’t move. “mc?” she hears a little noise from inside. oh, they’re in there.

“you can’t keep them in here.” she says. “watch me.” they answer

“I won’t let you.” jaehee says, “i’d like to see you try.” they say in response

and then they spit on jaehee’s face

she wastes no time at all and literally flips them out on the ground outside. jaehee walks inside and picks up mc, leaving

they go back to jaehee’s apartment and she wraps mc in a blanket with hot chocolate

“mc, love that person did not deserve you. and no one can keep you from doing whatever you like, okay? i’ll make sure of that now”

jumin

mc’s date mate showed up to the party

mc was talking to jumin while they walked up and pulled mc’s face over to kiss them

jumin found that both odd and unneeded, but he didn’t understand couples

he also found himself a bit…jealous? except he wouldn’t kiss mc that roughly in public..

so it was already off to a bad start

things got really bad, however, when mc’s date mate decided to interrupt an rfa meeting at jumin’s penthouse

they made a ruckus. the guards were having trouble because it seemed like they were throwing a temper tantrum

mc stayed quiet when the others asked if they wanted their date mate to come in, so jumin decided to check it out

when he found mc’s date mate with his guards, they were drunk. it wasn’t even one in the afternoon.

“you fuckers give mc back to me right now.” they said. “do you need them for something important?” he asked. “yeah, I need some sugar. now.”

jumin han is…disgusted. and could only imagine how mc felt.

“we’re in the middle of an important meeting. if you could wait for-” they cut him off. “i don’t wait! i’ll have mc whenever I damn well want mc.”

and now, jumin han has a little brain click and he is angry

“hm. well, you can’t have mc at all anymore.” he tells the guards to take them outside, as well as one or two other things

but, of course, this drunk asshole decides to punch jumin first

oh, now it’s only fair. jumin punches them back, and they are out. thanks alcohol

the guards are surprised, but he tells them he’s fine and to do what they’re told

he comes back into the meeting room, everyone but mc really surprised

*clears throat* “i’m afraid i ran into mc’s ex..but they’re taken care of”

707 / luciel / saeyoung

oh, this one knew about mc’s relationship alright

and he knew that their choice in significant others wasn’t the best

he also knew that they needed to get out of that relationship asap

but how to tell them that discretely?

turns out, he didn’t need to.

he got a call from mc, which he answered right away

“seven? can you give me a ride?…and stay on the phone with me?” “of course”

he put it on speaker, hopped into one of his babe cars, and started driving over to mc

he heard their argument over the phone

“you’re not leaving, mc.” “yes I am! I’m done with you cheating on me! i’m done with you acting like you’re sorry about it and then doing it again!”

saeyoung was proud of them for that

“but, babe…you know i love you, i couldn’t live without you. i’m nothing without you.” mc made a sound, one that sounded like they were believing that

“that’s bullshit, mc. and you know that. i’m almost there.” he said

“don’t listen to that stupid redhead, mc. i’m in love with you…you’ve helped me with so much..i’m getting better, love”

saeyoung was two minutes away. “i…seven, hurry”

he pushed the gas harder. “be walking outside.”

he could tell mc was doing what he said, they were moving. “let go of me!” they yelled, presumably because that ass was holding them back.

seven pulled up, got out of the car, and took mc’s bag, using it to hit their arm off of mc. “watch your back, okay?” was all he said before taking mc with him

when they drove off, saeyoung took mc’s hand again. “thank you for calling me..” they sighed, wiping a tear away. “i knew you could take care of me..”

#mystic messenger #mysme #mystic messenger hc #mysme headcanon #zen mysme #hyun ryu #yoosung kim #jaehee kang #jumin han #707 #saeyoung choi #anon #the stars anon #a request!#ams has rambled #long post #THAT TOOK FOREVER AHHHHHH

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survivormontenegro · 5 years

Text

Episode 15 (Finale): “I COULD LITERALLY WIN A TUMBLR SURVIVOR SEASON WHAT IS THIS LIFE” - Ali

Did that vote make me a villain? Cuz I don't think I can avoid that anymore. But did it screw my chances of winning? Did it add to my resume? Did it make sense? Who do I work with next? Do people understand that Ali is gonna win this game? Is Ali gonna win another immunity challenge? Can I get him voted off or is it smarter to get him to vote with me, because its Benj and I and we need one more. I have more questions after last night than I started, but knowing that Benj was going to vote Jones I didn't think I had much of a choice.

JONES WHEN U SEE THIS ILY IM SO SORRY :((((((

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breakdown.

Seamus enjoyed seeing me suffer with maths and black rotating puzzle

Ok so Ali won immunity so cant use idol on himself so im in the F4 hehe (unless hes seriously been playing me this entire time LMAO)

My 0 votes will prob be ruined tho but oh well still a huge improvement from 20 in kili

honestly think im losing in any F3 scenario ugh im gonna be a 2 time ftc loser LOL kinda iconic tho

regardless this has been one of the most fun games ive ever played hehe

I am trying my best to stay safe this round. I think it would be crazy for them to let me make it to F4, not that I think I am gonna win, but the momentum is definitely with Ali, Tom, and Jason, and I seem like the logical vote.

With that, there are some things I would like to say about the game. I'm actually pretty proud of the way I played. I know it wasn't the most graceful, or the most honest or loyal. I votes out Alex when he really trusted me. I flopped on Jules to win my way back in with that side. I stuck by Mo, but ultimately let him go when I had no choice, and then I did the same thing but more dramatically with Jones. I helped idol out the power player Mitch, but my strongest attribute was creating tight relationships with people who always felt they need to get that extra vote, Tom, Ali, Benj, Alex, Jones, Mo. The closeness has always made me less of a target, I hope not because they think I'm not a threat, but rather because they think I might be that swing vote for them. I feel like I have largely been the only one to make real decisions in this game except for Mitch, because Benj followed whoever told him to vote what, and Tom and Jason only make decisions because they just need to target whoever targets them. Ali and I are suppose to be in a secret bond, but the only time we vote together is when I switch and vote with him (Alex and Jones). I was the flip vote with Jason on Jules. I helped make the decision to vote out Mitch. I told Ali that I think it needs to be Jason this time. If I make it through this that would be soooo freakin fun. If I don't I worked my magic to try to get the target off of me, and so far I think the vote is Jason v Benj (sorry Benj that I had to convince Jason that I could work with him in the case that he idols). The biggest kink to that game is Ali winning those immunities, because truly I think the F5 would have been so different. Him winning rn changes everything and I can truly see the chinks in my strategy and gameplay now. I'm a mess, but I'm a calculating emotional mess, so hey points for me right?

okay so Jason left, which is really good news. He was clearly a major threat, and I acheived my goal (admittedly with no contribution to Mitch going) of Mitch, Jones & Jason being three boots in order.

So I'm in the final four with Caeleb, Benj and Tom. AND TOM IS NOW TARGETTING ME THAT MUPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPET. I saw this coming, I knew he would, he thinks he is gonna pull a fast one on me, but little does he know Benj is the KINGEST KING, and we've been allies since the first round.

So I really REALLY wanna win final four immunity, because it might be the Final Immunity and I am cautiously optimistic that if I can just make FTC, I can win this whole thing. If I win immunity, I'm voting out Caeleb with Benj and Tom, who will... kicking and screaming have to vote with me ajkdslfa.

I think no matter what, I'll be able to go to firemaking this round at worst, since I think Benj is firmly in my corner. And I've been dominant in challenges thus far, and could hopefully continue to do so? We will see ahh.

I just desperately want to win immunity this round, because then I can vote Caeleb out and drag Tom to F3. mwahahahahahahahahahaha. HE WILL HAVE TO SIT WITH ME IN A FINAL THREE, like it or not!

I'm literally so close to FTC this is gonna drive me insane. If its a F3, I think I'm literally a challenge away from winning this season, I could truly SCREAM hnnnnnnnnnngh.

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There's so much riding on this next immunity challenge. Like so much. And i just realized that I have no won immunity since Merge and everyone else left has, so umm here's hoping.

I WON FINAL IMMUNITY OH MY GOD. i literally.. my heart was pump pumping so fast, when Caeleb won the first two rounds I literally was gonna throw up/throw something/throw a fit.

But HNNNGH I won (and I filmed my reaction, which I'll upload), and I need to vote off Caeleb in my opinion. Benj is a king, but he hasn't done as much as me in this game, and Tom is solidly getting third place I think at this stage, so I think I have a great shot.

IM SO CLOSE ASKLDFAF. I COULD LITERALLY WIN A TUMBLR SURVIVOR SEASON WHAT IS THIS LIFE.

I know that this game is an emotional mess. And HELL I have been an emotional mess. But this I think is the first time that I'm actually angry. 6 immunity wins? Are you fucking kidding me? What the hell? I coulda made it to FTC, and like I'm not done yet I'll keep fighting so hopefully I can make it. But in normal circumstances I would be there. I just. Am so. Livid. There's no strategy involved when you can't vote someone out consistently. Now I have to fight tooth and nail just to have a shot and go against the freakin contender to win. Like its so disheartening, and Ali is a sweet guy sure, but he hasn't even made half the moves I have. His biggest move and most unexpected? Voting out Julia. If I get my chance to make it to FTC I'll have a lot to say, but I don't think its looking up for me at this point.

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this is the worst video i've ever filmed nobody watch this

I CANT BELIEVE I MADE F3 AGAIN!!!!!

WOWOWOWOW

and with Ali our day 1 duo actually did it WTF?

Tom king too the anzacs made it

I know im losing but its been SO FUN!!

Good memories only

Okay so... FTC was yesterday, and I kind of want to do a final wrap up confessional, just to kind of bring some personal closure.

So it seems unless a lot shifts, that I am decisively going to win this game. I'm so unbelievably excited, I've literally only ever come second in survivor games, so to have finally snatched the win genuinely means a lot. It shows me that 2019 truly has been a year of real emotional growth for me, and the personal roadblocks I've put in front of myself that have cost me games in the past, have been lifted and I have my act together much much more.

FTC was... just such a weird experience yesterday, I always get dragged at FTCs, particularly live ones. I've only done two ever (Athena: All Stars and BB Pokemon: Orre) and both times, not a single juror spoke positively about my game that was present. To have jurors come on, and say that I unequivocally played the best was such a bizarre experience, but I love all the jurors so much and their high estimation of me is genuinely so flattering.

With that said, FTC was also a really rough experience. I love Benj and Tom with my full heart, and watching Tom get relentlessly told he was rude was tricky because I know how good of a guy he really is, and how well he meant with everyone. Benj was rough because... it seems I just outplayed him, and him mentioning our duo in his opening statement when I didn't at all... was really rough because I felt partly at fault for his dragging. I just love both of them, so it was hard.

I also feel bad for what I was like in confessionals this season, from memory at some point, I went in on JJ, Mo and Caeleb in confessionals, and while I apologised for all, I still feel awful that I let myself get so worked up in this game to sort of snap at them? Like Mo is a genuine friend of mine, so the fact that he wrote like... a sentence and I got so pressed is really stupid, I love Mo so much and hope I can make it up to him. Caeleb I got so mad at after the Jones' idol play for literally no reason... like he outplayed me that round, and its so pathetic that I got mad at him for that. I think Caeleb played a PHENOMENAL game, and did so well.

If I had to predict the POTS of the season, I would say my top three would be Jones, Caeleb and Mitch. Jones is... Jones, she is so likable and has such charisma and hold over people, and her idol play was arguably the most impressive move of the season. Caeleb was someone I underestimated to such at the start of merge, but he played such an impressive middle game, and would've had my vote if I was voted out at F3. Mitch it sounds like was hated by the jury, but I think he played amazingly? Like he has been a target since F20, his name was thrown out so many times, and I just think he did so good? I lowkey think he would be my player of the season to be honest.

I wanna talk about the other jurors particularly that I haven't really referenced in this. Alex is someone I somehow feel most guilty about voting out? He is just such a genuinely good guy, and I think I had this preconceived notion of him as like a gamebot, when he is just so wholesome, I can't wait for him to return, and make single digits. scratch that, I can't wait for him to return and WIN.

I also wanna talk about Jules. I am such a Jules warrior? Like... such a Jules warrior? They were such a pleasure to work with, and I just love them so much. I did them dirty by not idoling them/telling them they were going, but they are someone I have SO much time, love and respect for.

Who else, omg JASON! He was the perfect final juror for yesterday's FTC, someone who went easy on Tom who needed that, and just... is such a wholesome good guy, I love Jason.

Anyway, this is already really, really long so I need to wrap this up. I just want to say how happy this season has made me, and how much of a pleasure its been apart of. I joined the ORG community right before a lot of messy personal stuff came my way, and a lot of my org memories are tied to that. I used to let my personal drama get itself interwoven in my games, and I would just be so emotional. To have a game where I could play hard, cracked and WELL, and just have fun has been such a pleasure, and Im so emo about it.

I just wanna thank the hosts again too, I literally am a full on Asya, Drew, Johnny and Seamus WARRIOR, I love all four of them for hosting my favourite org experience EVER, its been amazing. I've been such a crackhead, was the only OG Budva Tumblr Survior newbie to make merge, spammed my host chat with an unbelievable number of messages, been AWFUL at the bridge idol hunt system yet ended up with two idols, been a crackhead (bears repeating because of how much of a mess i was), its been... a time KLADSF

But yes. I just have had a phenomenal time, crackheads are gonna crackhead and this brit is joining the tumblr survivor royal family, and I truly could not be more excited.

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imreszekeres · 7 years

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for the anon that wanted all 100

1. Name- Ash! 2. Age- 18 3. City that you live in- fear, usually 4. What do most people not know about you?- nothing really, i compulsively release useless information about myself 5. What do most people know you for?- being fat and annoying 6. Hobbies- makeup, youtubers, sleeping, writing, drawing 7. What are your passions?- writing 8. What do you search for in a significant other?- i really Really need to be understood, and someone who is patient is nice too 7. What are you most proud of?- I hav gone to State and gotten within the top 10% in my Journalism competitions, which puts me in the top .08% of all high school students in my state. :-) im good for some things 8. When was the last time you had a significant conversation with someone you love?- every day when I talk to @pizzasteveofficial <3 all our conversations are significant 2 me 9. Have you ever collected anything? What was it?- I collect my tears in a jar and store them, then shower in them every night 10. List 10 things off of your bucket list.- I want to get married in the snow, have a daughter, get a Heartagram tattoo (at least one lol), write a successful book, and.. idk what else :0 11. What was the last thing you learned?- jesus I dont know, you learn sth new every day! hard to remember 12. How many relationships have you been in?- um.. 7 I think i feel like im forgetting one tho. I wont name them obvi but i think im forgetting one? i feel like ive been in 8 oh well 13. Turn ons- validation 14. Turn offs- being alive 15. Favorite food- frozen yogurt! I like the vanilla or white chocolate flavor with looots of toppings 16. Favorite drink- Coke 17. What is the best birthday gift you have ever received?- i dont really know! I dont remember a lot of my birthdays for trauma reasons so 18. Are you optimistic or pessimistic?- pessimistic by far lol 19. Do you sleep during class?- its happened a handful of times, I try not to bc I HATE missing work its annoying 20. What is the most expensive thing you own?- myself?? jk its my laptop 21. What is the cheapest yet most useful thing you own?- a 1 dollar ELF blending brush. yall those things are bomb please go buy some! 22. How many times a day on average do you check your phone?- that number does not exist holy shit 23. Text or call?- TEXT BLEASE I HAVE SUCH BAD HEARING 24. Opinion on long distance?- it can work! ive done it a lot of times. distance has never been whats broken a relationship for me, not directly anyway 25. What is your definition of success?- success is when you’re happy. you do not have many worries, not the kind that keep you awake at night or make your tummy sick anyway. You have people that love you and, if you died, you’d be remembered as a good bean 26. Favorite song?- right now im really diggin “Hate (I Really Dont Like You)” by the plain white Ts 27. Favorite artist?- HIM!!!!!!!!!!!! <3 28. Celebrity crush/crushes?- Ville Valo ALWAYS lmao hes my god 29. When was the last time you read for fun?- like last month 30. Favorite flower?- roses 31. What is the best gift you could receive right now?- a plane ticket to Connecticut and like 1000 dollars 32. Any guilty pleasures?- pop... music... BUT LIKE THE GOOD KIND U FEEL? I DONT LIKE STUFF FROM THE LAST 2 OR 3 YEARs... 33. What is one thing you would like to change about yourself?- my weight, and that sounds so shallow but it. is taking a toll on me. 34. What do you search for in a friend?- someone who is like me! 35. How many times have you said "I love you" in the past month?- not enough 36. Where did you last go other than your room/home?- school.. 37. Why do bad things happen to good people?- because life isnt fair 38. In your opinion, what hurts more? Being left out or being stabbed in the eye?- what the fuck being stabbed in the eye have you ever been stabbed in the fucking eye? because i havent and i can already tell you that if my friends were talking without me and then someone stabbed me in the fuCKING EYE I WOULD BE JUST A LITTLE BIT MORE PREOCCUPIED WITH BEING STABBED IN THE E Y E 39. How many green shirts do you own?- none lol 40. Do you like anime?- sure! I dont watch it rn but i dont watch anything rn, haha 41. What do you invest the most time in?- sleeping,, 42. What was the name of the last book you read?- Rebecca :3 very gud book 43. What's the difference between loving and liking someone?- when ur main squeeze gets a hair cut and u still wanna suck their dingus u love em, thats it sorry i dont make the rules 44. Where are you most productive?- i dont.. know what this is asking lol I’m most protective over my romantic partners. As much as I’d love to say im most protective over Sarah, nothing compares to how “troll guarding his treasure” i am w/my loves.......... *eyes @my crush* 45. List 3 things you enjoy doing with friends.- talking shit abt rude ppl, playing vidya gaem, and talking abt life 46. List 3 things you enjoy doing alone.- watching makeup tutorials, watching lets plays, and thinking about everything and anything 47. Do you believe world peace will ever exist?- absolutely not. theres too many people on the earth to achieve that 48. Do you have any allergies?- Not to anything specific but i get them really often seasonally. i get them pretty much every time the weather changes :( 49. When was the last time you cussed at someone?- i mean.. every day of my life so like 50. What was the last promise you made?- idek dude 51. What was your last dream about?- IT WAS SO WEIRD IT WAS ABOUT MY CRUSH’S MOM? I DREAMT THAT SHE WAS A DEMON WHO STORED HER EGGS IN LITTLE PORCELAIN JARS AND THAT MY CRUSH HAD AN EAR INFECTION AND WE WERE IN A SNOWY VILLAGE IDK DONT ASK ME its weird bc my crushs mom is so sweet... 52. If you won a trip to Hawaii and you could take 5 people with you, who would those 5 people be?- i would literally only take Sarah bc i hate everyone 53. How many countries have you visited?- ive never been outside the US 54. What is your favorite medium of art? (Music, dance, painting, etc.)- writing :-) 56. When was the last time somebody complimented you?- those nice anons i got yesterday/the other day! 56. If you switched bodies with someone, how would you recognize yourself?- what do u even mean? youd know bc youd be like THIS ISNT MY BODY 57. Do you consider yourself mature?- kind of, yes 58. How many days in your life do you think you have wasted on tumblr?- too fuckin many 59. What is your favorite quote?- “Worship Satan!” -Ville Valo (no but rly any HIM lyric is my favorite quote, theyre so beautiful,,,) 60. If you started a new religion and you had to create 3 rules or commandments for your new followers to live by, what would those 3 rules be?- dont hurt ppl unless they hurt u, dont touch ppl unless they want u to, and respect gender/sexuality 61. What is your greatest accomplishment?- going 2 state! 62. Do you believe in the death penalty?- yeah i actually think it should b used more lol, kill all rapists and p*dophiles :-) 63. What are your goals for life?- i just wanna b happy, man 64. What do you think your soulmate is doing right now?- being a fucking idiot, probably 65. If you could live anywhere, where would you live? The place can be in an imaginary, fantasy, or the real world.- CALIFORNIA LMAO IM SUCH A SUCKER FOR CALIFORNIA AND I NEVER EVEN BEEN THERE 66. What were you like in 2013?- awful but also really sweet... then again i wasnt TECHNICALLY the host so lol 67. Do you have a job?- no :( i cant drive 68. Tell us a story about your childhood best friend.- she was an abusive bitch who took out her parents hating her on me the end 69. If you could change one thing about society, what would it be?- i would make discrimination a way more serious crime than it is taken for rn. ppl who discriminate should b put in jail 70. How many all-nighters have you pulled before?- just one when i had to install the sims and it took 6 years 71. Is tumblr your favorite website? If not, then what is your favorite website?- my fave website is youtube 72. What is the craziest thing you would do for a million dollars?- suck a dick, i guess 73. Does money equal happiness?- not all the time but it sure can 74. How many times have you experienced true happiness in your lifetime?- never, i dont think 75. How many times have you experienced true sadness in your lifetime?- too many times 76. What is the funniest joke you have ever been told?- you know that joke abt the blind man at the beginning of Crazy Rap? yeah thats fucking HILARIOUS 77. When was the last time you looked at the news?- this morn :0 78. If you could say one thing to the world, what would you say?- im gay 79. What is your favorite animal?- RACCOONS!!!!!!!!!!!! 80. If you could earn a million dollars by pretending to be dead for 3 years, would you do it?- i mean sure lmao nobody would b upset about it so 81. What is one thing that everyone is bad at?- being a human. 82. What time do you normally sleep? How many hours of sleep do you usually get?- i usually go to bed at 10 and get like 6 or 7 hours 83. Does age necessarily equal maturity?- not at all! 84. What is your favorite clothing store?- hot topic lol 85. In the winter- beanies or gloves?- gloves b 86. Would you rather have wings or a fish tail?- wings?? why would i want a fish tail 87. If you had the power to erase one person from the world so that nobody remembered him or her except you, would you do it?- absofuckinglutely. 88. What do you fear the most?- being like my rapist. thats a little too deep than i like to go but im being honest, thats literally my biggest fear Ever 89. How many digits of pi can you recite?- 3.14 lmfao i hate math 90. If you could travel back to one year and relive it again, which year would it be?- 2004. I would stop it before it happened. :-( 91. Describe yourself in one word.- stupid 92. Describe your last victory.- i woke up today w/o killin meself 93. What is the weirdest thing you have ever seen?- bendytoots cucumberpitch’s face 94. What is something you will never forget?- prom.. something rly nice happened 95. Would you rather forget all of the past or remember everything in vivid detail?- forget everything. please 96. Have you ever broken a bone before?- nope! 97. Is it harder to love or to hate somebody?- probably harder to love them lol 98. Coffee or tea?- coffer 99. What are some little things that you do that have changed your life in a positive way?- I dont overdose on a constant basis in a BPD-fueled rage any more so thats good 100. How many hours have you spend on tumblr today?- probably 1 or 2?

#ask tot ag i guess #i didnt mean to get so negative in this lol im fine i swear #chitters #text heavy//

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