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icherishyou · 3 years

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sun, 3 jan 2021

Holy crap, it's 2021!

It feels like yesterday I celebrated 2020 new year by working so fucking hard in January, and then quarantine, and then the new year again! Where the hell are those days going? That damn quarantine makes the day shorter, I guess. Not gonna lie, 2020 was so damn hard and I'm glad to leave that year (let's act as if those shits left behind in 2020).

Oh god, I just wrote some words but my fingers couldn't stop swearing. I just want to be a good girl!

That's okay, let's move on! Life must go on! Even though 2020 was so rude to me, I wouldn't learn so many things if 2020 didn't happen. So, whether 2020 puts so much poison in my drink or my food, I can assure you that I am still alive and stronger!

I just want to write some lessons that I’ve learned in 2020 which may sound nonsense, but it does change my perspective of life.

1. Always be grateful for what you have, best or worst! As I said before, 2020 was a pandemic year, and we were in quarantine for almost a whole year. No activity outside, no physical meetings, no meet-up in your favorite restaurant, and no going outside for an unspecified reason. The point is to STAY HOME! Back in 2019 until January 2020 when I was so busy with my college and part-time, I always complained about my condition and situation which always made me so busy and tired. Wait, don't get me wrong! I like to be busy and tired. I like to come back to my room late at night, take a bath, and then have a deep sleep. I like it. BUT SOMETIMES, my college had an unspecified schedule about the assignments. Like suddenly we had to make a meeting with someone from a certain company, we had to go to another city to research about warehouses or something, etc. Let alone my part-time job. Before I took the part-time job, I had explained to them that I only can take the job at a certain time, but they suddenly called me to take the job outside of the time we had agreed before. Like dude, I have a social life as well. It was sad when sometimes my friend went to hangouts, but I had to do part-time, or I had to go home to meet my family, or I had been too tired to join them. Duh... And then the pandemic came. Me, who was an outsider, had to stay at home for the whole time, trust me, it drove me crazy. It made me feel so grateful for something I always complained about before. For the God's sake, I miss being busy and tired. I miss going everywhere with my friends doing great or shits. I miss sleeping when I'm physically tired. I miss everything. I even miss my irregular schedule which made me curse myself. Jeez.

2. Never wait for yourself to be ready, because you will never be! Besides the pandemic, I had other things that made my 2020 so stressful. I lost my grandma, my classmate, and my uncle (in terms of death, but not Covid19). My grandma (oh God, why did you do this to me?) was my support system. She would always say yes when the world said no. She was the one who backed me up when the world would like to beat me up. I have known my classmate since he came to Indonesia (he is an exchange student from Africa). We became so close because we had the same classes and group project lately. My uncle was my savior every time life got hard for me. He would calm me down when I had a fight with my mom or another family member. I lost them in a row and God... idk how was my feeling. I know this is fate. At the end of the day, we will lose someone we love the most whether we are ready or not. But seriously? 3 at once? I thought I was so sad because I wasn't ready to lose them at that time. And I thought, if only God took them away when I am a little bit mature, I would be ready. But until now, I realize that I will never be ready for losing someone I love the most. Whether I'm 18, 19, 20, or even 50 years old, I will never be ready. We have to agree on the way the universe works, whatever it takes. And that's the only way we can come to terms with the situation. This makes me understand the term sincere in life.

3. Love is not only having each other but also letting go Pandemic, losing people I love, and now heartbroken. How could life be so rude to me? Like, what I had done before which made the universe against me this cruel? But that's okay, let's see how far I will fight back! But don't listen to me seriously about this thing. I'm really bad at love. Two break-ups for less than a year dude, I can't make people stay. Tbh, I don't really know what to write in this section, because what I feel about this ‘thing’ is so complicated. I'm a too realistic person and feeling things like this makes me feel so confused to explain it in a word. Because that's what love should be, be felt and proven, not to be explained lol Okay. So, it sounds so bad for me to say that I can't make people stay while making them stay is not my responsibility. But indeed, I feel guilty every time people go. It makes me think "what mistake have I made this time?" I'm sure that I dated only good people in my life. I mean, they only needed nothing but time and love. And so did I. I only needed time and love from them. If you know what I mean, no parasite relationship here. So those are my responsibility, giving time and love (which can be in various ways). I have to do my best to spend time with him, listen to his story, laugh at his jokes, appreciate every simple love he gave, always be there for him, etc. Even though making him stay is not my responsibility, staying with him is my responsibility. And if he decides to go at the end of the day or the universe can’t make us both as one, at least I've tried to give my best. Well even though that "best" is only my opinion. Everything still can be so wrong although you have done everything so right. If he is happy and right for you, he will stay. So, if he is not staying, it means he is not happy enough to be with you even though you have given your best. Just let him go for his happiness. Don't waste your time and love to please him to stay while his heart is not for you anymore. You’ve done so well, and you deserve someone who will be happy with you, as happy as you with him. “I love you, but I let you go” I hear that clause everywhere and every time, but just at this age, I finally get the meaning.

4. It's okay not to be okay Maybe this was the simplest thing that I never noticed in my life. I also heard this clause so often, but I never knew the real meaning before. Or maybe because I just didn't have time to be not okay before. I was so busy with my life out there, chasing my ambitions, putting my emotions aside, and just focusing on my dreams. Because I thought, that’s the only thing that matters in my life. The only thing that people always want to see in me. If I felt sad, I would only spare a few hours to cry in my room. A few hours later, I went out of my room, and was facing a new day. Because I had so many things to do, and sadness would slow it down. Back in 2016 or 2017 (I forget the exact time), when one of my closest friends asked me about my ex, and I just told her that we had broken up a few days ago. And she was so surprised and said "WHAT? YOU JUST BROKE UP? AND NOW YOU JUST SIT DOWN IN FRONT OF ME AS IF NOTHING HAPPENS?". Indeed, I was so sad, who wasn't? But with those busy schedules, trust me, I looked so heartless. I had to be okay and no time to tear up my tears too much. But when this pandemic came, it felt like I had so much time to do nothing unless being sad because I had no busy schedules. With those many things in terms of death or break up, I cried a lot at night (sometimes without reason), I felt sad at day (sometimes without reason as well), sometimes I felt so desperate, and I wanted to give up. Jeez, I did feel sadness for real. I thought it was abnormal because I had never been that way before. Until I realized, I guess the universe just gave me time to mourn. I'm just a human, and it's normal to feel sad, crying, and okay not to be okay. I can cry as much as I can even if I have a lot of things to do. It's okay to stop some work just to heal my emotions. And I thought some people need to see me at my lowest point (but tbh this is not me lol I can't do this one, not to all people). So, whatever happens next in 2021, I guess I'm totally ready. Whether life will give me sugar or salt, I believe it happens for a reason. This life will give me only happiness or sadness. And from both, we need to be grateful.

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priceof-freedom · 3 years

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Fanfic: Emergency Contact

GIF by @rioliv

Pairing: Rick Flag x F!Reader

Summary: The doctor couldn’t find any record of an emergency contact, but Rick was lucid enough to call for you. Part of the Made to Heal series.

Rating: Honestly? It’s mostly fluff.

A/N: I am not a medical professional, so please please suspend your disbelief with some of the things written here. This is also my first attempt at a DCEU fic. Hoping you’d be kind!

Word Count: 3.9k

You used to actually enjoy being in a hospital. It once fascinated you to no end, trying to take in and learn as much as you can.

Now, however, you understood why so many others abhorred being in such a place. You realized that it was the waiting that turned everything into hell on earth. It hadn’t even been that long, perhaps an hour tops; but every minute seemed to have stretched tenfold. One thing you were grateful for, however, was that you weren’t waiting alone.

They must have been quite the sight in the waiting room: Dubois, unabashedly lying horizontally across a row of chairs behind you, and Harley, still clutching that god-forbidden javelin which she had somehow managed to sneak through security. Cleo volunteered to stay with Nananue in the van they commandeered upon reaching the city; another thing you were grateful for. You wouldn’t have known how to explain the presence of a shark in a hospital waiting room, and thankfully you didn’t need to figure that out. Plus, Dubois also had the presence of mind to order everyone to clean up and change out of their grimy and bloody battle gear. Yet another addition to your growing list of things to be thankful for.

“You guys don’t need to stay,” you had informed everyone else upon your arrival.

There was a general murmur of dissent, from which one of the more dominant voices was Nananue’s adamant exclamation of “Friend stay!”. Dubois’ insistence that they do accompany you was the deciding verdict. He did, however, hastily add, “Well, it’s not like we have anywhere else to go.” Right, of course, but you hoped he saw the gratitude in your responding smile.

You were only mildly surprised that you hadn’t headed back to the medical facility of Belle Reve. Presumably, it had something to do with the deal Dubois cut with Waller. Whatever the details of that were, you could probably process that later on. Right now, your primary focus was on Rick. The logical part of your brain knew that you might be waiting for quite a while, but the emotional part was definitely not thinking straight. You wanted answers, and you wanted them now. You were about to stand up and ask the receptionist again for updates, but a large hand from behind you stopped you.

“Don’t,” grunted Dubois. You opened your mouth to protest, but he grunted again and pointed to the doctor approaching.

“Sorry to keep you waiting,” said the doctor. It didn’t sound like he was delivering any bad news, and that gave you some semblance of relief. Dubois had now gotten up from lying on the chairs, and Harley, who was being uncharacteristically quiet, tore her focus away from the javelin and towards the doctor.

“Right,” began the doctor, warily eyeing the javelin, but introduced himself anyway and wasted no time in updating them. “Colonel Flag is in stable condition, and whoever did his first aid definitely saved his life.”

“Oh you hear that, puddin’?” exclaimed Harley, speaking up for the first time in a while. She then turned to the doctor and excitedly told him, “That was all this girlie right here!!”

As the combat medic of the team, it was truly your duty to attend to anyone’s physical injuries whenever needed. But it was also your duty as Rick’s… well, you just needed him to be alive. When you heard Cleo announce to Dubois what Peacemaker had done, you felt like the ground beneath you was nonexistent (and it had nothing to do with Starro wreaking havoc on Jotunheim). At the time, you had no choice but to flee the building with the rest of the team and deal with the reality that he was dead.

It was nothing short of miraculous, then, that after the dust had settled and the starfish kaiju was defeated, a bloodied and heavily injured, but definitely still alive, Rick Flag emerged from the rubble of Jotunheim.

What happened next was a blurry mess of activity that you couldn’t recount if someone had asked. All you knew was that he was alive and you had to make sure he stayed alive by whatever means necessary.

The doctor nodded appreciatively at you and continued. “But on to more serious business. There are some other administrative matters that need to be arranged. We could not find any record of his emergency contact, but the colonel was lucid enough to briefly mention that his wife had accompanied him.” He eyed you and Harley expectantly, but it seemed like he was more cautious when it came to Harley.

“Mate,” snorted Dubois. “You sure he’s lucid? He might have a concussion. He’s definitely not—”

You cleared your throat and cut Dubois mid-sentence. “Um, yes… that would be me.”

Dubois suddenly fell silent and Harley dropped her javelin with a loud clang against the hospital floor. You could feel both of their gazes boring holes in you, but you trained your eyes to focus only on the doctor. Thankfully, the doctor tactfully ignored the reactions of your companions and handed you a clipboard with paperwork. He continued on with some routine medical questions, all while ignoring the stares of your teammates. (“Any allergies to medication?” asked the doctor.

“None that I know of,” you responded. “But if I may make a special request: I know it’s not standard practice, but don’t let him know that you’re using any kind of NSAIDs to help with the pain. The man has a bit of an issue with pride and always refuses them.”

The doctor chuckled and answered, “I’ll see what I can do.”)

Once the doctor was satisfied with your responses, he turned to address all three of you again. “There is one more thing,” he said. Your face must have fallen and looked panicked because he quickly added, “It’s nothing too serious, but Colonel Flag did lose a lot of blood, and we may be in need of donations. His dog tags indicate his type is A+. Now, we can always get from the blood bank, and donations of a different type are still welcome. But it would be ideal to get donations of the same type.”

“I can donate,” you offered immediately. “Rick and I have the same type.”

“Same here,” piped up Dubois.

“Excellent,” said the doctor. “We’ll get the process started right away. Mrs. Flag, if you could—”

“Sergeant,” you corrected.

“Sergeant Flag,” repeated the doctor. You didn’t have the heart to correct him further about the surname, as you weren’t legally taking Rick’s name (yet). But hearing it for the first time made you all tingly inside, and now you realized you couldn’t get enough of the sound of it.

“And um, Mister…?” continued the doctor, eyeing your companion.

“Dubois,” he supplied.

“If you could both follow me, and we can get you set up,” said the doctor.

You turned to look at Harley and asked, “Will you be okay on your own for a bit?”

“Oh dontcha worry about me, Mrs. Flag,” she said impishly. “I’ll be right here when ya get back.”

You rolled your eyes at Harley, but smiled at her anyway. Both you and Dubois made to follow the doctor out of the waiting room and into one of the many hallways. With you and him keeping pace a few strides behind the doctor, he took this opportunity to harangue you for the bombshell you had just dropped.

“Oi,” Dubois whispered harshly after elbowing you. “When were you going to tell the rest of us that you and Flag got hitched?”

That earned another eye roll from you, but you were still smiling. To be honest, it felt quite good for others to actually know about it. “Since when was it anybody’s business?” you retorted.

“Oh come on!” groaned Dubois, but you could tell it was good-naturedly. “I actually had money riding on this one.”

“You what?” you whisper-yelled incredulously.

“Oh yeah, whole team was in on it. Granted, we thought you were just stupidly pining after each other,” he said. “You didn’t think you were hiding the tension between you two pretty well, did you?”

All you could do was laugh. You knew that you weren’t great at hiding just how often you stared at your husband, but you hadn’t expected that everyone noticed and was actually betting on it.

“Me and Quinn bet you’d finally cave when we finish the damn mission, and Cazo said you’d wait until we get back. Even the dickhead Peacema—” Dubois cut himself off, probably at the sight of your response to hearing rip-off Captain America’s name, or likely also because of his own feelings towards your former toilet-seat-wearing team mate. He cleared his throat and continued, “Well, none of us ended up winning though, did we?”

Forcing thoughts of your husband’s would-be murderer aside, you chuckled again and gave Dubois a small smile. You both kept walking, following behind the doctor in silence for a few more moments.

After a while, Dubois spoke up again and asked, “It was because of Waller, innit?”

“Yeah,” you replied, so softly that you weren’t sure if he heard you. But he nodded in understanding, so he must have. “We had to keep anything she can use against us under wraps. She definitely suspects that we’re in a relationship, but I’m sure she never discovered we got married.”

Another beat of silence hovered between them. You thought that that had ended the conversation, but Dubois had one more thing to add.

“You don’t have to worry about Waller ever again.”

---

The nurse eventually let you go after about half an hour. Dubois finished his own pre-screening process much quicker than you, and was free to return to the waiting room. You encountered some unforeseen complications with yours, with you suddenly feeling lightheaded when they took a blood sample. The nurse decided to keep you for a little while longer, to monitor your pulse and blood pressure. Once it was all clear, the nurse allowed you to rejoin the others and you would be called back if you’re eligible to donate.

The lightheadedness probably came from the fatigue and the stress of the mission, you reasoned to yourself. Nevermind the fact that you have been feeling nauseous slightly more than usual in the week leading up to leaving for Corto Maltese. You had chalked it up to your gut feeling telling you that this would not be just any run-of-the-mill assignment that Task Force X had to carry out. Truly, your gut feeling was correct; it almost ended in Rick’s death. So that was definitely the cause of the unease… right?

When you returned, Harley wasted no time in pestering you with all the questions she could think of. She covered it all: when did it happen, how did he propose, where did you go on your honeymoon, and most importantly (according to her) was he good in bed.

“Harley!” you admonished, turning absolutely red in the face.

“Jesus Christ,” grumbled Dubois. “I do not need to hear this.”

“I do, I do!” chanted Harley, almost petulantly. “I bet he’s a monster in the sheets.”

You just buried your head in your hands as Dubois groaned in annoyance and Harley cackled in glee. The instinct to deny any involvement with Rick was still strong, after nearly two years of doing so. Both of you had ingrained in yourselves to never let anything slip, lest the information be taken as ammunition against you. But now, you realized, there was no need to keep hiding. Like Dubois had said, you didn’t need to worry about Amanda Waller or ARGUS ever again.

Well, that still didn’t mean you would freely offer up information like that. You’d still prefer to keep it as close to the vest as possible. Luckily, further questioning was halted when you were approached by the doctor again.

“Sergeant Flag?” the doctor called your attention. “If I may have a word in private?”

“Oh, here is fine, doc,” you dismissed. “I don’t mind them hearing anything else. They do know already that I’m married after all.”

The doctor coughed a little nervously and asked, “Are you sure, sergeant?”

“Absolutely,” you assured.

“Alright then. Sergeant, I’m afraid you’re not eligible to donate blood today,” the doctor began cautiously.

You frowned. As far as you knew, you were in perfect health (the minor injuries from the mission notwithstanding). “Is it an iron deficiency? Or lack of sleep?” you questioned.

“You’re pregnant, sergeant.”

Harley’s javelin dropped with yet another loud clang to the floor.

“Harley!” you and Dubois chastised simultaneously.

Harley looked even more flustered than you were, as though she were the one receiving the news of an impending pregnancy. “I’m sorry!” she exclaimed as she scrambled to pick up the weapon. You should probably get that away from the hospital, but that wasn’t the matter at hand.

“I know this might come as a shock…” continued the doctor, even more cautiously than before.

“Pregnant?” you said incredulously. “Are you sure, doctor?”

“We can run some tests to be absolutely certain,” responded the doctor. “But from the screening sample we took earlier, it was enough to deduce the extremely high likelihood of pregnancy.”

That had stunned you to silence. You and Rick weren’t exactly trying for a child, and you were well aware that protection wasn’t 100% effective at prevention. You also knew that there had been a handful of times when you were less than responsible, usually after a particularly hard day at work. And of all the times for this to happen, it had to be now. Rick definitely had some surprises waiting for him when he woke up.

Dubois eventually broke the silence and asked, “Just how many surprises are you and Flag planning to drop on us today?”

Harley cackled again.

---

Another hour or two passed before you were able to finally see Rick. Dubois had finished donating blood earlier, with no other surprises or complications thankfully. You nearly had to force him and Harley out of the hospital to get some food and to check on both Cleo and Nananue. You almost forgot about the latter two, but Dubois assured you that the pair were likely just napping in the van. Eventually, they relented (mostly because Harley started complaining about hunger) and they promised to return as soon as they could.

The doctor returned to bring you to Rick’s room and explained the state of his condition along the way. His recovery process may be long, the doctor warned. He suffered some internal injuries, but those were not as bad as the external ones he incurred at the hands of Peacemaker. What Cleo initially mistook as a fatal blow of a tile being rammed into his chest actually broke some ribs and missed major organs just by an inch or two. A miracle, the doctor had proclaimed, and a testament to the thorough medical aid he got on the field. You blushed at that last part; to be honest, you couldn’t really remember what exactly you had done. Your mind was so focused on saving your husband’s life.

When the doctor opened the door to Rick’s room, you were greeted by the sight of him heavily bandaged and hooked up to multiple machines. But he was alive. And awake.

“Colonel, your wife is here to see you,” announced the doctor.

Rick raised his head at the sound of the doctor’s voice and met your gaze. “Hey, darlin’,” he greeted raspily.

Your eyes instantly filled up with tears and rushed over to take a seat beside his bed. All the dirt and grime were scrubbed off from his face; the doctors must have cleaned up his hair as well. If not for all the wires attached to him, he looked almost fine, with his handsome face smiling up at you. They also got rid of that ridiculously tight yellow bunny shirt he had on and was donned in a crisp hospital gown.

You took hold of one of his hands and brought it to your lips. “Hi,” greeted back, with your lips trembling and tears falling freely now.

Rick slowly moved the hand you were grasping to cup your cheek, his thumb brushing away the tears running down. The motion made you cry even more, just short of sobbing. Putting your hand back over his on your cheek, you clutched onto him. You knew that you probably should be more careful with him, as you might be causing him more pain. Yet, you couldn’t bring yourself to let go.

The last 12 hours or so felt like some sort of hazy dream. You were so afraid that it might be some sick joke, that he hadn’t actually survived, that Peacemaker actually made good on his promise to complete his part of the mission, that you’d be back with ARGUS and everyone would just consider his death as unimportant, that you’d be widowed before everyone else even knew you were married.

But here he was, real and solid as ever, albeit a little worse for wear.

Still holding on to your cheek, he rasped out, “Are you okay?”

And you couldn’t help but laugh a little. Leave it to Rick to set aside his own wellbeing, despite having been so precariously at the brink between life and death.

“Me?” you said incredulously. “I should be asking you that question!”

“Is it too soon to say that I feel like a building fell on me?”

He was joking, of course, but that had unwittingly forced your brain to conjure up what everyone had thought were his last moments. The walls of Jotunheim were crumbling all around you and you desperately wanted to go back to where Cleo said Rick’s body was. Had it not been for Dubois yanking you away in the opposite direction, you would have been buried in the rubble just as he was.

He must have realized that his joke landed flat because he lifted your chin so your eyes met his. “Hey, look at me,” he said softly.

Your bottom lip quivered even more as you tried desperately to keep the tears at bay. “Don’t,” you managed to get out. “Please… don’t joke like that.”

“Alright, alright,” he acquiesced. “I’m sorry, darlin’. But I’m here, I ain’t leaving you.”

“You’re here,” you repeated. “God, Rick. You’re here.”

“We’re okay,” said Rick, now with his own tears flowing freely as well. “Told ya we’ll make it.”

That did it. Protocol be damned, you needed to be as close to him as humanly possible. You moved to join him on his hospital bed, making sure to avoid dislodging any of the wires attached to him. There wasn’t a lot of room for both of you on the bed, given your husband’s sheer size, but it didn’t matter. The moment you settled down beside him and your head was nestled gently on his chest, the comfort of feeling his heartbeat melted away all the tension that consumed you in the last couple of hours.

You weren’t sure how long you both stayed like this, bodies and limbs entwined. It must have been quite a while, because you felt yourself almost drifting asleep. But before you could fully succumb to your exhaustion, Rick softly called your attention.

“Hm?” you mumbled into his chest.

“We’re done, yeah?” he asked. “No more going back?”

It was vague, intentionally so, a habit you both picked up given the covert nature of your job. But you knew what he was referring to. And it gave you immense relief that he wanted the same thing.

You lifted your head slightly and met his gaze. “Yeah, no going back,” you said definitively. And his responding smile was bright enough to rival the blinding hospital lights.

He closed the gap between the two of you, and placed his lips softly on yours. If you were to rank the many, sometimes clandestine, kisses that you shared with Rick over the years, this could easily be on par with your first kiss (and that one was explosive to say the least). It was a kiss of promise. A promise of a life where neither you needed to always look over your shoulder, of a life where there wouldn’t be the constant cloud of fear hanging above your heads of whether one will live another day.

You were the first to break away from the kiss, and you rested your forehead against his. This I could get used to, you thought to yourself.

“Rick, I—”

Unfortunately, it was at that moment when the door to the hospital room banged open. In came the cavalry, or what was left of Task Force X.

“Fucking hell, Quinn! Knock first!” came the exasperated voice of Dubois. But it was never in Harley’s nature to knock. Instead, she sauntered in freely (mercifully with no javelin in sight), followed by Dubois and Cleo. And even Nananue. You weren’t sure how they managed to get him in undetected, but they did..

“Good mornin’, Mr. and Mrs. Flag!” called out Harley in a way that only she could.

Rick turned to you questioningly, although he didn’t look too alarmed at the idea that the cat was out the bag.

“The doctor let it slip that you said your wife came with you,” you answered him. “Funnily enough, I think he considered for a moment that it was Harley.”

“Oh, I wouldn’t mind shacking up with that one,” she said, wagging her brows in that usual malicious way of hers.

Your husband just laughed, but he tightened his hold around you. “Nah, I’m set,” he said with an adoring look in your direction.

“Christ, you two are disgusting,” said Dubois.

“I think it’s sweet!” piped in Cleo.

“It was bad enough when I thought you idiots were just pining after each other,” Dubois complained again. “Will it be even worse now that you got her knocked up too?”

“Ooohh, I can’t wait for little Flag Jr!” Harley gleefully added.

“What?” said a very confused Rick.

Oh shit, you thought to yourself.

Then it was pandemonium of competing and overlapping voices.

“You haven’t told him?!” exclaimed Dubois incredulously.

“I hadn’t gotten to it yet!” you countered in defense.

“Now I’m really glad the Colonel is alive,” said Cleo pensively.

“Can I be the godmother? I’ll be a good influence, I promise!” Harley announced.

“NEW FRIEND?” boomed Nananue.

In all that chaos, none of you noticed that Rick was the only one who kept silent. His face remained strangely impassive. It was only when you felt him grip your waist tighter that you realized that he hadn’t said anything.

“Rick?” you asked him nervously. Everyone else quieted down, also realizing what was happening. Rick still hadn’t spoken up, but was staring at you blankly. “Rick,” you nudged him again, a little desperately now. “Say something?”

“... You’re pregnant?” he asked, dumbfounded.

“Um… yes,” you said lamely, bracing yourself for his reaction.

But you needn’t worry, apparently. Rick suddenly crushed his lips onto yours, without a care in the world that he did it in front of your teammates. You felt all the elation radiating from him and you also relaxed yourself in the kiss.

“Alright, that’s it, I’m out,” announced Dubois and he headed to the door. Everyone else seemed to agree with him and left along with him.

However, neither you nor Rick noticed. All you could focus on was him and the fact that you can finally get a fresh start with him.

A/N: I wrote prequels to this entitled How do you sleep at night? and Stitch me together. It’s the story of the beginnings of Rick and Medic!Reader’s relationship. All of these are part of the Made to Heal series. Do give them a read!

#rick flag x reader #rick flag #the suicide squad #dceu #fanfic #fem reader #spoilers #the suicide squad spoilers #rick flag fanfiction #rick flag imagine #rick flag x you #dceu fanfiction

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the-insomniac-emporium · 3 years

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Serenade (Daniela Dimitrescu/Reader) Pt. 6

Fandom: Resident Evil: Village Rating: T for language, brief violence, and a line that hints at past physical abuse (depending on how you choose to interpret it) Warnings: Mild TW for implied/referenced abuse Notes: Okay so this was supposed to be somewhat therapeutic? But it ended up taking longer to get to that part than I intended, so... Don't worry though, next chapter will be fluffy and also involve more, like, actual Daniela scenes. Previous Chapters: Pt. 1: Nocturne, Pt. 2 Overture, Pt. 3: Accelerando, Pt. 4: Toccata, Pt. 5: Poco a Poco

Chapter 6: Elegy

(Elegy: A piece of music in the form of a lament)

When you dream, you do not dream of being locked in a tower, awaiting a kindly knight to come save you. When you dream… you dream of your old home, infested with monsters, nearly unrecognizable. Of being forced to flee, leaving everything you loved behind. Of escaping to a remote, quaint little village, only to end up trapped once again, as friendly faces morph into gaping maws and fangs dripping red. When you dream, it is less a nightmare, more memories retouched, covered in a fresh coat of paint.

Waking up is but a brief source of comfort. One hand goes to your head, rubbing gently, as if you could wipe away all traces of your past. A quick glance around your shared room leaves you confused, but serves as a welcome distraction. Though there are six beds in the room, yours is the only occupied one, the others having all been vacated and made presentable. The only explanation that fit with what you knew was that everyone had gotten up, and gotten to work, without waking you. Panic filled you as you connected the dots, knowing that missing work was a death sentence.

Rushing, you rise to your feet, throwing your dresser open to search for fresh clothes. While the castle’s staff was almost entirely female, the Dimitrescu family didn’t enforce traditional gender presentation, allowing maidens to choose whether to wear a dress or a button-up and trousers. Remembering the wound on your neck, you pause, glancing in the dorm’s singular mirror to inspect your injury. Most of the blood had rubbed off in your sleep (and would likely be a nightmare to clean from the sheets). There were, however, a few spots where dried blood mingled with the protective scab. Considering how late you already were, you didn’t believe you would have time to clean up.

As much as you hated the thought, the best you could do was go for a button-up, hoping the collar would hide the worst of your disastrous appearance. Your hair was another matter entirely, far messier than it normally was, and you struggled to brush/comb it enough to be mildly presentable. Good thing Daniela won’t see me today, you think, remembering her insistence on skipping today’s lesson.

Then you remember the rest of your conversation with her; the yelling, being dragged to your feet, and the pain in her eyes. For a moment you feel woozy, pausing in the middle of buttoning your shirt. Your eyes focus on a spot on the now-closed dresser… and suddenly you wish you had paid more attention when you first woke up. There’s a note stuck to the furniture, clearly addressed to you.

Heard you had some trouble yesterday. We’re just glad you’re alive! A certain someone has been a lot nicer since you started playing the piano, and we’re grateful. To show that, we decided to split your morning duties among ourselves, so you can sleep in. If you’re reading this, then it’s still before 4 AM. Feel free to just relax for a while, or even get some more sleep! We’ll be by to make sure you’re up eventually.

Sincerely,

Daphne, Rosalia, Ygritte, Alexandra, Juniper, and Riley

“I… have… freetime?” You mumbled, still a little drowsy, but now also shocked. This was a complete first for you. Maybe even a first among the servants! Sure, you had been given breaks before, but having a couple hours to do whatever you wanted? No one had ever pulled strings like this for you before. It made your chest feel warm, and you just about forgot the whole mess with Daniela. “I’ll have to find a way to pay them back, even if they think they’re paying me back.” With that said you relaxed a little, no longer rushing getting dressed, though still leaving your neck the way it was. You figured you’d stop by one of the maidens’ restrooms before you officially started your shift.

In the meantime, you knew exactly what you’d be using this time for: finding those damn piano books you had been promised!

-----------------------------------------

“Let’s see… dust, more dust, a dead spider, even more dust, and- oh shit, the spider is not dead,” you said, barely holding in a yelp as the arachnid scurries away from you. If you had known the attic would be so unclean, you might not have bothered to come up here. So far your targets had alluded you without giving so much as a hint towards their location. The library had seemed a likely location, but you had heard Daniela’s voice within, and anxiety had sent you dashing away. Up here, in an area clearly used for storage above all else, was the next best guess, as far as you were concerned. Still, you hadn’t seen anything worth your time yet.

Just insects, really. Not even terribly interesting ones. Well, there had been a shiny beetle of some sort, but it had crawled into a crack in the wall mere seconds after you saw it. Other than that, though, nothing but creepy crawlies. Creepy flyers?... Both, for sure. One fly in particular kept buzzing around you, weirdly interested in what you were doing.

Somehow you didn’t understand what that meant until a firm hand had wrapped itself around your neck. The grip was tight, putting more than enough pressure to make your vision blur. Thankfully, or perhaps unfortunately, the culprit didn’t intend to just choke you out. Instead they lift you and toss you aside- casually, at that. You hit the wall with a terrible crashing sound, certain to leave bruises, and narrowly avoid toppling into a stack of heavy crates. So much for enjoying some free time, you think. Stunned for several seconds, you find yourself left helpless as your attacker approaches.

“You’re not allowed to be up here,” a voice snarled, familiar enough to leave you terrified. Of course you had to run into the most violent of the Dimitrescu sisters. “Looking for a way out, hmm? Or are you stupid enough to think we’d leave a weapon where a wretched thing like you could find it?” Cassandra asked, pausing only to send a swift kick your way. A grunt escapes you, leaves you coughing, but it doesn’t hurt as bad as hitting the wall. Despite wanting to curl up and give in, you tried to drag yourself to your feet. Surprisingly, Cassandra makes no move to stop you, perhaps enjoying the sight of you struggling.

“Lady… Daniela… gave me permission,” you said between painful breaths. By the time you’re back on your feet, the vampire before you is watching you with narrowed, albeit curious, eyes. Normally it would take a lot of courage to face her. But you’re exhausted, in pain, and you’ve taken nearly as much hurt from someone who called themselves your lover. It’s not brave to stare down Cassandra, it’s foolhardy. It’s idiotic, really, and yet you find yourself unable to care. “I’m just looking for a couple piano books I’ve been told about, so I can use them to help teach Lady Daniela.”

“Oh? You’re her instructor?” Cassandra asked, a strange smile overtaking her expression. Something in the atmosphere has shifted, dangerously, but you can’t figure out why. Clueless to your self-betrayal, you nod in response. Instantly Cassandra’s smile turns into an open-lipped snarl, and she reaches out to grab you by the shirt, this time slamming you into the wall with her own hands. “Then you’re the reason she kept me up yesterday, crying non stop! I’m going to rip you apart, you vermin.”

The look in her eyes is, most definitely, the scariest thing you had ever seen. It’s feral, inhuman, and unstoppably determined. But when tears fall from your eyes, it’s not because you know you’re about to die. No, it’s because the last thing you think you’ll ever hear is the news that your partner had been sobbing for hours… and that you were the reason why. Your heart aches, both physically and emotionally, as you brace yourself for the bloody end.

Instead, the grip on your clothes loosens. You don’t dare open your eyes to see why.

“What the fuck do you want, sis?” Cassandra asked, sounding like she had turned her head away from you. Before you know it you’ve been let go, and you slide to the ground, too surprised to hold yourself steady. When you look up, you see an irritated Bela pulling Cassandra away from you, whispering something you can’t quite hear. They argue for a minute, under their breath, keen on keeping you out of the loop. Eventually the younger of the two storms away, but not before making a dent in the wall with her fist.

“What a child,” Bela said, rolling her eyes at the display. Then she’s walking back towards you, extending a hand in an offer of assistance (one you gladly accept). “That girl has the foresight of a magic eight ball, I swear. If she had actually killed you… ugh, I can hardly stand to imagine how inconsolable Daniela would become. Then I’d have two insufferable sisters. Regardless, do tell me why you thought it would be a good idea to come up here unaccompanied? It is normally off limits for servants, after all.”

“I-I, well… I mean, firstly thank you for saving me, I had no idea-” Bela holds a finger up in a ‘shut up’ motion, then puts it away as soon as you pause- “right, you don’t care. Look, I was just trying to find the piano books that Lady Dimitrescu mentioned, but I’ve looked all over and I can’t find them, so I should really just go,” you explain, eager to get out of the attic. To your surprise, Bela gives you an odd look before turning away. Then she takes no more than five steps, shifts to the side, and opens an old cabinet. Inside you can see a dozen books of sheet music, notably from several different decades, all worn but still in decent condition. “How did-?... I thought I checked there.”

“Well, you must have been distracted. Nonetheless, you know where they are now, and you owe me twice over. With that in mind… come with me. We have things to discuss,” Bela commanded, walking away before you could protest. All you can do is grab the sheet music, tuck it under one arm, and follow her to who-knows-where.

-----------------------------------------

“I’ll have to have you make my tea more often,” Bela mused, letting the mug keep her hands warm. The two of you were sitting in some sort of study, a room that you had never been inside before. From what you could tell it belonged solely to the eldest Dimitrescu daughter. Inside were several shelves, each filled with well bookmarked collections, a desk next to a massive window, a couple simple chairs, and a few instrument cases. All in all it was an aesthetically pleasing room, organized but not exactly neat. You could certainly imagine Bela spending entire days in this chamber. “Now, why do you think I brought you here?” Her voice brings your focus back into the present moment, as well as sends a spike of anxiety through you.

“Based on what nearly got me killed earlier… Does it have to do with Daniela crying?” You asked, doing your best to indicate just how bad you felt about the subject. No matter how cruel she could be, you did honestly care about Daniela, and even wanted a real, healthy relationship with her. Desire, or willingness, wasn’t the root of the problem by any means. Something told you that Bela understood this, maybe even respected you for it.

“Guess there’s more in that pretty head of yours than air and symphonies, hmm?” Bela replied, laughing a little as she did. It was a far nicer sound than Cassandra’s maniacal giggling, for sure. “Now, I don’t know all the details about what happened- just that there was an argument, clearly a bad one, and Daniela barely made it through dinner before locking herself in her room. Luckily for you, our mother doesn’t seem to know about your little ‘fight’. She’s not sure what upset Dani, and I doubt my sister would tell her, so your secret is safe. Assuming that I blackmailed Cassandra well enough, that is. Anyway, I can’t help you, and by extension my sister, if I don’t know the full story. In case it wasn’t clear, that’s your cue to start talking.”

You’re surprised, admittedly, by a number of things. But Bela seems impatient, so you go over the details of the previous night with her, occasionally pausing to let her ask questions. The whole time her focus is on you, unwavering. There’s also a noticeable lack of judgement in her expression, even when you voice your regret about how you handled the situation, and what is there seems directed more towards Daniela than yourself. Once you finish, Bela releases a deep sigh. One of her hands goes to rub her forehead as if warding off a migraine.

“Well, I can’t say I’m terribly surprised, as much as I wish I could. Daniela’s always had her head in the clouds, and it’s left her tripping over her own feet more than once. Still, this is certainly one of her bigger messes…” Bela said, shaking her head in disbelief. “I’m going to have to talk to her about this, aren’t I? There’s no way she’s going to process this correctly on her own.” This time she seemed to be talking to herself, gaze locked on her tea as if it might suddenly offer to speak to Daniela in her place. When the tea stayed silent, understandably, she returned her focus to you. “You seemed upset, earlier, about this ridiculous situation. I am going to assume, from that, you are genuinely interested in my dear sister. Normally, this would be the part where I drain you of all blood, and possibly keep your skull as a memento... mori. Yours would look lovely on a window sill, I think.”

She pauses, head tilting a little to the side, clearly evaluating your artistic value.

“However, Daniela appears to care about you, far more than her usual fleeting infatuations. So, for now, I have decided not to eviscerate you, you’re welcome,” Bela cooed, teasingly, enjoying the way you shifted uncomfortably in your seat. Still, you were glad that you would apparently be surviving the day. “So I’m going to give you some advice, which you will take, and you won’t even owe me anything extra for this. Daniela is in love with the mere concept of love- and she has been for as long as I can remember. Romance novels are practically the only books she reads. It’s… embarrassing, truly. More than that, I get the impression that she couldn’t even begin to describe what love actually feels like. She’s digested so much of that written drivel that it warped her senses. Of course, the, ahem, situation we find ourselves in, here at the castle, has undoubtedly added to this effect.

“To get to the point, Daniela’s terribly, hopelessly clueless when it comes to things like what she wants from you. And so I take it upon myself, as her older sibling, to ensure that you understand. Moreso, that you are not dissuaded. If this is an actual chance for her to experience real romance, then it could make her happier than I’ve ever seen her,” Bela explained. The look in her eyes was incredibly soft, to the point where it made you realize just how much this odd little family cared for each other. “Don’t give up, don’t let her occasional infuriating antics push you away. Given enough time… I think the two of you could, I suppose, compliment each other quite nicely. But if you break her heart? I will pull yours from your chest and eat it raw. Understood?” Gulping, you nodded quickly, ignoring the feeling of heat rushing to your cheeks. It was one thing for Bela to want her sister to be happy, but another thing entirely for her to acknowledge your “suitability” for the position. “Good. Now return to whatever it is you maidens normally do. I have a sister to talk sense into.”

-----------------------------------------

Hours later, you stand alone in a display room, dusting various relics from bygone times. A trophy here, a bizarre art piece there, strange, unlabeled tools you can’t quite imagine are for wine-making. It’s a fascinating collection, really. But your mind is focused on other, far softer things. All you can think about is what Bela had told you, about how Daniela really is interested in you, and how she thought the two of you could make it work. After the chaos earlier in the day, this was exactly what you needed. Just some time to yourself, working quietly, thoughts all to yourself. Even your bruises bother you less, the pain fading out into the background. Considering where you are, though, it is not at all surprising that your peace cannot last. As soon as you finish your task you move towards the exit.

The door swings open, outwards, at your touch, only to reveal a familiar figure reaching for the doorknob. Both of you gasp, taken by surprise, before your gazes meet. Of course it’s Daniela. Who else would you bump into right now?

“I thought about what you said,” she blurts, suddenly, eyes wide and hands shaking. “We need to talk, yeah?”

#daniela dimitrescu #daniela dimitrescu x reader #resident evil: village #re8 village #cliff hanger oops #had fun writing this one

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corpsedaydream · 4 years

Text

crash

so, here i am with a new one shot.

so before anyone asks if i’m gonna be posting frequently again or anything, i process things by writing about them. if something is running through my mind over and over and i can’t think through it on my own in my mind, writing about it generally helps me. this past weekend was supposed to be a fun long weekend away w my friends but it quickly ended when i experienced something pretty traumatic. i haven’t been able to sleep at all the past couple nights and so i started working on this. originally it was just going to be something private to help myself w the panic i was feeling then i started adding a muse into it and then i realised i was still writing about corpse without even meaning to, so i guess he’s still got me feeling musey.

anyway, i thought about keeping this private bc i’m still rly shaken up about what happened but idk feels like a shame to just let it sit on my computer.

idk if i’m back to this blog yet, i still feel indifferent about it. i’m signed out on my phone and was signed out on my laptop until just now and haven’t opened my inbox.

anyway. here’s the one shot.

word count: 1666 words (i’m not kidding)

trigger warning: car crash, panic attack

__________________________________________________

crash

Wake up. Wake up. Wake up wake up wake up.

The words repeated over and over in your head. You’d had dreams about crashing your car before, but usually you woke up just before the point of impact. This time you didn’t.

This couldn’t of happened, this can’t be real, this is a a dream, I’ve got to wake up.

But you were already very much awake, this was very much real.

The colour had already drained from your face, tears were welling up in your eyes and your heart had already sunk. Your hands were trembling, your chest was completely still, you weren’t breathing in that moment. Your body had reacted before your mind had completely caught up.

“Fuck.” Was all you managed to say as realisation had hit you. You’d gotten into a car crash.

You looked around you, wondering how the others cars on the road were still moving when it felt like your world had just come to a stop when your car had its collision. You heard your dad’s voice in your head, all the things he’d told you when he taught you how to drive, had - god forbid - you ever ended up in a situation like this.

You went through the motions as well as you could. You were in a state of shock and physically, you were definitely there, but mentally, you really weren’t present. You were having an out of body feeling in the most terrifying way, it was a defence from the panic that had overwhelmed you.

Corpse felt a surge of anxiety. He had no idea why, either. All he was doing was looking through fan art on twitter, he hadn’t seen anything that usually would make him feel like that. It just throttled its way into himself seemingly out of no where.

It was especially odd seeing that today had been such a good day. Waking up beside was usually something that put him in a good head space.

So he started to call you, you always made him feel better. But then he remembered you were driving and you were a cautious driver, you never answered your phone when you were behind the wheel. You’d told him in the past how tenacious your dad had been as a driving teacher and it had really stuck with you.

Just as he was about to hang up, knowing you weren’t going to answer, you did.

“Hello?” Something was off. Corpse heard it right away in just that one greeting from you.

“Are you okay?” He didn’t even greet you back, he already had anxiety running through him and the unsettling tone of your answer of the phone had only made it increase.

“I think so.” You were so monotoned. Corpse had never heard you speak this way. You were a lot of things, but monotone was not one. You were expressive, bright and dramatic.

“You think so?” He repeated in a questioning way, wanting to know what was wrong.

“Yeah.” You responded so plainly again. Corpse almost wanted to ask you who was he speaking to right now, because surely this couldn’t have been you. This person had your voice, but this was a person he did not know right now.

“What’s going on?”

“I crashed my car.” You said it to him so simply. There was no emotion behind it. His heart thundered as if a terrible hail storm had just broken out.

“What?!”

“I crashed my car.” You repeated. Once again so eerily unemotional.

“Where are you?!”

Corpse shouldn’t have been driving in the state he was in, but he needed to get to you. His emotions were running so high and he couldn’t comprehend why yours weren’t.

After what felt like the longest drive of his life, he reached the crash site. His panic peaked when he spotted the ambulance, immediately thinking the worst. But then he saw you standing to the side of it. You were up and talking to the paramedics, that was at least a good sign you weren’t seriously injured.

“(Y/N),” He called for you as he got out of his own car. And just like your voice on the phone, your movements were so robotic.

You were normally so open with your emotions, you were such a readable and honest person. When you were happy, you shined, when you were mad, you yelled red, when you were sad, you cried oceans. But Corpse had never seen you in a true state of shock. He’d never seen your fight or flight response. And apparently it was a stillness and unresponsive, the complete opposite to how you were normally.

“Are you okay?” He knew you probably weren’t, but he couldn’t find any clue to how you were feeling. Until his footsteps brought him closer to you.

You didn’t respond to him at all. Even words felt like too much right now. As he neared you, though, he spotted the signs of fear your body displayed that your words did not. Your hands and arms were trembling, your shoulders were slumped, your face was completely pale, sweat dotted all over your forehead despite it not being a hot day, tears were slowly spilling from your eyes one by one, your chest was moving unevenly as you struggled to breathe properly.

“Baby, c’mere.” Corpse didn’t hesitate to gather you in his arms. Holding you so tenderly against him. That’s when he felt that it was more than just your arms and hands that were trembling, your entire body had a slight shake to it. He knew you were experiencing true terror in that moment.

The time between your banged up car getting placed onto a tow truck and arriving back at your apartment felt like a blur.

You’d just gotten off the phone with your insurance provider when you’d heard Corpse.

“Are you in any pain?”

"What?” You’d heard him perfectly but you hadn’t once thought about how this had affected you physically.

“Are you in any pain?” He repeated himself.

“I’m not sure.” And you weren’t, but the paramedics had said that adrenaline would be coursing through you right now and adrenaline was the biggest distraction from pain. “I’m gonna go have a shower.”

“Okay.” Corpse watched you with concerned eyes until you disappeared behind your bathroom door. He so badly wanted to help, wanted to make you feel better, break you out of this state you were in that he was so not used to.

You didn’t know how much time you’d spent in the shower. But it was long enough that the sky had grown darker and the moon had replaced the sun by the time you emerged. Once you’d gotten dressed, you made slow steps towards your bedroom. Your hands were trembling more violently than before and your breathing was speeding up.

The shock was finally wearing off and reality was getting ready to slap you hard across the face.

“Corpse...” Your voice was so silent, almost as if you couldn’t form a word due to the air that seemed harder and harder to breathe as a panic attack started to take control of you.

Corpse might not have even heard you had he not been on such high alert for you right now. But he was, and so he did he hear you and when he saw the state you were in, he instantly got up from his spot on your bed where he was waiting for you and was wrapping you up tight.

You were hyperventilating so dangerously, your heart felt like it was being encased in treacherous clouds that tightened with every intake of air you struggled to get.

You couldn’t remember the last time you had cried this way. You were breaking down.

Corpse was completely holding you up. Had it not been for him, you would be a crumbled heap on the floor.

The both of you didn’t sleep that night.

Every time you were close to drifting off, the crash would replay in your mind on an insufferable loop and you would jolt awake and the panic would restart all over.

And every time, Corpse was right there to hold you through it. He didn’t sleep due to how concerned he was about you.

The next day was a little easier mentally, but a lot harder physically. You’d gotten so much emotion out the night before that now the pain could have your attention.

Everything from your hips up felt sore, stiff and tense. Every time you moved your neck was scary because it felt like it was about to snap. But worst of all was your chest. It was hard and painful to breathe. The paramedics had warned you about this. The impact to your chest was going to take the longest to recover from. You kept your breathing shallow, any other kind of breathing made you wince and Corpse noticed.

“You’re hurting.” It wasn’t a question, he was stating what he noticed. He’d known the signs of someone in pain. Plus he had also taken note of the bruises that had appeared on your skin, the colouring of them looking like a painting of a galaxy, all purple and blue.

“A little bit.”

“Mhm.” He knew it was more than a little bit, but he wasn’t about to argue with you. He looked over you laying beside him, grateful that you were still here, you were alive. A car could be replaced, but you could not.

You were flat on your back because that was really only the current position that felt even the tiniest bit comfortable right now. Corpse was on his side, one of his hands supporting his head as he leaned over you. His other hand began to soothingly run his fingers through your hair and you let your eyes flutter close at the touch.

“Tired?”

“Yeah.” You mumbled back, keeping your eyes shut and feeling exhaustion take over you.

“Try sleeping, baby. I’ll be right here.”

#corpse #corpse husband #corpse x reader #corpse husband x reader #corpse imagine #writing #mine

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shydragonrider · 3 years

Text

Blood on the Ash - Chapter 4

Warnings: Fever, past torture, burns, stab wounds, blood, fear, sick whumpee, swearing. Loss of family (Mentioned), panic attack.

Tagging @teheranb

Zana hadn’t known what to do after her ex-nemesis passed out again. So, she was perched awkwardly on the side of the bed, trying to figure out how to get him to let go of her hand without waking him up.

After a few minutes, she gave up, and awkwardly sat down by Max’s head, her whole body tensing when he pressed his face into her leg.

Oh. This feels weird. We’re usually beating the shit out of each other.

Despite her uncertainty, Zana did not pull away.

I just wanna keep him quiet. I don’t care.

Over and over she told herself this, but as she looked down at his sleeping face, she felt a pang in her chest. She closed her eyes and turned her face away.

“I thought you didn’t care.” Eve’s voice startled Zana, and she turned to glare at her sister.

“I don’t.”

“Hmm. The fact that you’re holding his hand and letting him use your leg as a pillow says otherwise.”

“This means nothing. I just don’t want him hurting himself more. Because then it’s more work for me.”

Eve giggled. “My little sister really is gentle-hearted.”

“I am not.” Zana snapped.

“Really? Then why did you bring the man who shot you home? Why is he lying in your bed, holding your hand?”

“I already told you.”

“If you didn’t care, you’d have moved by now. You’d have pulled your hand away.”

Zana shook her head. “I tried.”

“Zana, he’s got practically no strength left. He couldn’t stop you, not physically.” Eve said.

“I tried, but then he whimpered. It’s so unlike him.”

Eve sighed. “If you were half as cold as you think you are, he wouldn’t still be alive.”

“Eve...”

“I meant that in a good way. You’re better than you give yourself credit for, Zae.”

“Don’t call me Zae. It makes me think of when we were children.”

“Why is that bad?”

“It hurts too much. Today’s the anniversary.”

“I know.”

“I still miss them.”

“I know. Me too.”

********

Max blearily opened his eyes. The room was still dim, and he could hear the wind outside.

He was alone.

Panic seized him, and he scrambled out of the bed, only to collapse before he could take a single step.

“Fuck.” A female voice said, even as someone caught him.

Max let out a hoarse whine as the bandages around his chest grated against the burn.

“Zana.” He croaked out, fingers curling into her shirt. He couldn’t stand the thought of being left to die again.

“Yeah?” The woman asked, hauling one of his arms over her shoulder, and half-carrying him back to the bed.

“D-don’t leave. Please... not you too.”

“What do yo mean, ‘not me too?” She asked, starting to step back. Desperate, Max clung to her shirt tighter, and broke into tears.

“Hey. Hey, it’s okay. Calm down.” She tentatively patted his back. He shivered, and sank into her arms.

“Max? What did you mean? Who left you?”

“Everyone.” He whined, snuggling closer to her.

“Okay. Okay, um... It’ll be alright.”

“Don’t leave.”

“I’m not going to leave. I promise.”

***********

Zana felt Max’s sweat-damp hair against her neck, as he had a solid crying session on her shoulder. He was still scorching from his fever, and clearly not entirely lucid.

Unsure of what to do, she found herself awkwardly hugging him, until his crying slowed to more infrequent sobs, and then to silence, and he was limp in her arms.

She carefully lowered him to the bed, and sat beside him. If he woke up and she wasn’t there...

Well, she did not want another freak out on her hands.

So she pulled out her phone, and opened an ebook, even while the man who had once been her worst enemy slept beside her.

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seokjinsonlyone · 3 years

Text

Sunflower Vol. 2

pairing: hoseok x reader

summary: ‘The very foundation of their relationship had been shaken and yet, he was acting like nothing happened.’

rating: pg

warnings: none

wc: 1k

part 1 | part 2

“See! You’re still alive!”

She scoffed. “Yeah, physically. Mentally and emotionally I’ll never recover.”

“You will. Think of this experience as an opportunity for growth. This was a starting point. Now the door’s open for you to explore the world. To live.”

She scrunched her face up at her friend’s monologue. “Literally what self help book have you been reading? You sound ridiculous.”

“I just wanted to help you,” she pouted. “You never do anything, and it’s so sad. I don’t want you to have any regrets because you’re too scared to put yourself out there.”

She’s grateful for the concern, truly, but they were two different people who experienced the world in two very different ways. “Listen, there are two kinds of people. Livers and Survivors. I am a survivor. I go about my sad little life just trying to make it out alive, so people like you can see me and think ‘oh what a sad little life,’ and then do whatever it is you say the world has to offer. And, it’s fine. I’m fine. I shouldn’t try to move out of my lane. We see what happens when I do.” She’s known her lot in life since way before the Hoseok incident. Been burned enough to last this lifetime and the next, but now that there’s witness to her misfortune maybe they’d leave her be. At least for the time being.

“I don’t agree with you,” she protested, holding her ground. “I think you deserve so much more than you’ll ever know.”

Her heart melted a little. It was always such a shock that there were people that thought so highly of her. She wrapped her arms around her neck. “I have you and the rest of our group and my family. It’s not a bad life.”

She turned around in her arms to hug her back. “I know,” she sighed. “I’m still gon’ get you a man though.”

She rolled her eyes. Once she had her mind set on something, it was very hard to dissuade her. “As long as it’s not Hoseok. I’m never going back to that cafe again.”

Never again turned out to be 4 days. In her defense she tried to stay away, but Starbucks just was not hitting. While they were a little closer to her it was busier, so it ended up taking longer. And, she could not get down with the inconsistency in technique. The first day her drink was made perfectly. The next day they left out the flavoring. The day after that they made a different drink entirely. The fourth day they said they never got her order, so she ended up running to the convenience store and buying an energy drink.

She couldn’t do it. She’d rather face the man she completely embarrassed herself in front of than continue disrupting her morning routine. If her morning wasn’t right, the rest of her day wasn’t right, and her sad little life didn’t need that.

“Y/N!” Hoseok greeted her as loudly and enthusiastically as he always did.

It was startling. The very foundation of their relationship had been shaken and yet, he was acting like nothing happened. She guesses nothing did happen. For him, at least. It was just another regular Wednesday for him. She offered him a small smile nonetheless as she approached the counter. “Hi Hoseok.” She quickly averted her eyes. The last thing she needed was unnecessary contact with him. She just wanted to get her coffee and her bagel and go.

Truthfully, she should’ve known she wasn’t going to make it through this encounter unscathed. Because one thing about Hoseok was that he was chatty. She’d been hoping she would’ve pushed him into a corner of awkwardness like the one that has engulfed her merely at the thought of his name. Apparently, she had not. “And, where has my favorite customer been for the past week?” he asked, playfully tapping his foot, hands on his hips.

‘Avoiding you’ is what she wanted to say. She cleared her throat. “Oh, you know, thought I’d switch it up for stalking purposes.” He raised his eyebrows. “I’ve been watching a lot of true crime lately and thought i’d try something new in case someone was following me,” she clarified, throwing in her customer service laugh at the end in hopes he’d believe her.

“I see. I thought you were avoiding me.”

She sighed, cringing internally. Why’d he have to be so straightforward? She was 100% not going to mention it, but since he did she felt the need to apologize once more. “I’m sorry about that, again. I know how it is to just be doing your job and then people do stuff like that and make you uncomfortable.”

“Hey,” he called softly, inviting her to look at him. “You didn’t make me uncomfortable. I just missed you. Mornings aren’t the same without my favorite customer.”

Infuriating. The gentle gaze he fixed her with was infuriating. As was the way he was able to make her melt with just a few words. It wasn’t fair. He didn’t get to say he missed her and call her his favorite. Not when he knew she felt the way she did. She swallowed down the sudden bout of rage and grabbed her breakfast, forcing a smile on her face. “Well, I think I’ve thrown any potential stalkers off my trail, so I’ll be back. See you.”

And there was that smile again. That smile that got her in trouble in the first place. The one she was certain could solve all of earth’s problems. The one that haunted her day in and day out. She couldn’t help but bask in it for a few seconds before sending a small wave his way and leaving.

As she was making her exit, another woman walked in and if she thought the smile Hoseok gave her could bring world peace, the one he gave her could balance the universe in a way Thanos never imagined. The way he came from behind the counter to scoop her into his arms caused her heart to constrict in her chest.

Maybe her friend was right. Finding someone wouldn’t hurt.

#bts fanfic #bts fanfiction #bts x reader #hoseok x reader #j hope x reader #hoseok fanfic #hoseok fic #j hope fanfic #j hope fluff #j hope x you #hoseok x you #hoseok fluff #hoseok angst #j hope fic

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theimmaterialplace · 3 years

Text

holding on | emily prentiss x reader & spencer reid x reader | ch. 2: falling

Chapter Summary: The morning after the reveal of Emily’s death and a conversation with Spencer.

Contains: mentions of cat-calling and panic attacks, light kissing, grief and mourning.

Word Count: 2.4k

Comments: this fic is my new baby and i will nurture it to its end. this is gonna end up being a long story and emily won't reappear for at least another 25k so there's that! also look i gave a little flashback to their relationship! in case i didn't elaborate enough, spencer and reader are quite close and have known each other since elle left which ill get into in another chapter! so that's why she has some of his clothes and why he's so close to her and latching onto her. reader is going through it rn but she's shoving it aside which isn't healthy and not good in the long run so she'll have to adress it eventually but that's not now! she's kinda numb rn and trying to keep it together for spencer which is going... as well as one would expect.

i think my favorite line in this was "The song ends but the moment doesn’t." and "But all moments have to come to an end."next chapter, we'll be getting the rest of the bau team (yay!) and emily's funeral (💔)! reblogs and comments are highly appreciated! i love hearing feedback even if it’s something small!

also i’m gonna do a taglist for this fic so if you’d like to be added, send me an ask with the username you’d like to be tagged with!

masterlist | read on ao3

What am I now? What am I now?

What if I'm someone I don't want around?

I'm falling again, I'm falling again, I'm falling

What if I'm down?

What if I'm out?

What if I'm someone you won't talk about?

I'm falling again, I'm falling again, I'm falling

- Harry Styles, "Falling"

When the morning comes, you wake up first on your couch and feel a crick in your neck. The night’s memories rush back to your mind and you immediately feel nauseous. You manage to very carefully separate yourself from Spencer and manage to make it to the restroom in time to vomit.

It’s awful.

You don’t even know why it’s still hitting you so hard when Spencer is the one that should be feeling like this. He’s the one that’s known her for years and you were nothing but a fling for her.

You don’t glance at yourself when you exit your bathroom, already knowing the state you’re in. When you enter your living room, Spencer is still out so you decide to do the next best thing you can for him.

You’re thankful that you already have some leftover ground coffee beans from the day before because you really don’t want to wake him up before you can put a cup of coffee in his hands. Going through the motions of making coffee and then a simple breakfast is calming.

You’re unsure if Spencer will be able to stomach anything if he’s anything like you are now so you make the lightest meal you can. When the coffee machine beeps, you grab two mugs and begin making the coffee the way he likes.

It’s as you’re making your own coffee that you’re interrupted by Spencer calling out your name. You turn around and find him rubbing his eyes and looking a bit better than when he first came in.

“Hey, Spence. I have some coffee if you want some,” you grab his mug at his nod and place it in his trembling hands, “it’s just how you like. Ninety percent sugar and cream and ten percent actual coffee.” A small smile crept onto his face at your joke and you’re glad you’ve managed to make him smile even if it’s just a little bit.

He sips on his coffee and you decide to plate the food that’s still warm onto your dining table. He follows and takes the seat across from you, mumbling his thanks. You both eat in silence for there are no words or fun quips to share with Emily gone.

Spencer is the first to break the silence. “Thank you… Thank you for last night. I couldn’t stay with my team after that. It was just too personal. I know I’ve mentioned it before but I’m the youngest of the team and though they mean well, they tend to baby me. I… I couldn’t handle it so I left them.” He pauses, fingertips tapping in a familiar tune on the ceramic mug, “I didn’t want to be alone and you’re the first person I thought of. I know you know… knew Emily and that you would just be there for me so thank you.”

He looks directly into your eyes as he says this and you know how serious this must mean for him so you reach out for his hand, which he extends for you, and squeeze it in your own. You have to articulate your response properly because you don’t want to scare him off by saying the wrong thing.

Maintaining eye contact, you speak, “I’m glad I was able to be there for you, Spencer. To be the first person you came to means a lot to me. I hope you know I’ll always be there for you, for the small and the big things. While I may not be as close… While I may not have been as close to Emily as you were, I will still grieve for her. Just knowing how much she meant to you is enough for me to know how much a beautiful person she was. From the little glimpses I’ve seen of her and the tidbits you’ve told me over the years, I know this is going to be one of the hardest things for you… and if you let me, I’d like to be there for you.”

He’s like an open book after you’ve told him your resolve, like the book you’ve reread more times you can count and the original copy has been worn down due with some of the passages long gone but memorized in your heart. His eyes are watering again and he’s out of his seat faster than you can comprehend and he lifts you up and his arms wrap around you tightly, as if you’re his lifeline.

He whispers words of gratitude into the crown of your head and you hold him back just as tightly, tears springing to your eyes. You’d do anything to take his pain away and if this is all you can do then you’ll do it willingly.

“I want you here,” his voice is low and wrecked, “I.. I don’t want to be alone. Please. Please don’t leave me. Everyone leaves, Please…”

You look up to him and grab his face gently in your hands, wiping the tears from his cheek as you say, “I’m not leaving, Spencer. I’m right here. I’m here for you always. I promise not to leave you. I’m with you. I’m here.” At this, he looks even more broken and only nods his head, breath hitching and his sobs ceasing for the moment. You know it’s not enough for him so you guide one of his hands to the pulse on your wrist.

“Count.” And he does, his mind focuses on the beat and it calms him; it reassures him you’re still alive.

When the minute is over, he looks significantly more calm and less likely to cry again. He looks at you like he can’t believe you’re really there and you pull him in again. Physical contact is meant to ground people and you only hope this helps him.

A shrill ring interrupts your thoughts and you know it’s Spencer’s because you’ve heard it many times before from him and Emily both.

He lets go of you to answer it and he tenses immediately as he hears whoever it is on the other line. He says a few things in response and his eyes become glassy again. He hangs up only a few moments later and turns to you.

“My team wants me to help inform Emily’s mother of her death so we can start planning her funeral…” He closes his eyes shut and his fingers clench into his palms. Slowly, you walk up to him and unfold his palms and find red, crescent indents on his palms.

“I can drive you…? I know you took the metro here. Let me help, Spencer.” He just nods and you lead him to the bathroom to help tidy him up. You turn the faucet on and hand him his toothbrush, your fingers lingering on Emily’s red one before grabbing your own. It’s a familiar routine and as you finish, you leave to let him use the restroom and wash up while you rack through your closet to find something he's left over to wear for the day.

You manage to find a striped brown button up and matching brown pants while you put on a simple outfit, a grey long sleeve with jeans and a pair of black vans. You knock on the door and he opens it after a moment and takes his clothes from you. You go back to your room to fix up your hair and after a while you deem it acceptable.

As you’re doing your makeup routine, you hear a knock then, “Are you decent?”

“Come in, I’m almost done.” The door opens and you catch his reflection in your mirror. He looks better but the despair that clings to him is obvious to you.

He lets a small smile fill his face and though it doesn’t reach his eyes, you still match it. “I’m surprised you still had this. I had wondered where this outfit had gone but I remember that when I stayed over that night I had to leave immediately and left it here.”

“Well, I wouldn’t just throw it away and I kept forgetting to give it back to you. It’s a good thing otherwise you’d be left in some sweatpants and a Star Trek t-shirt.” He lets out a small laugh at that and you’re grateful you’re able to get him to genuinely laugh.

“Okay, I’m done. We can head out now.” He follows you out of your apartment and into the passenger seat of your car. The ride is silent to Quantico, unlike the usual rides you give him where you play a new genre for him and for him to compare it to his classical music and talk about some facts of the music.

When you finally arrive, you both sit there. He doesn’t want to leave and face reality and you don’t want to be left alone with only the truth to haunt you.

Spencer breaks the silence once again, “Thank you for everything. I don’t know where I would’ve gone last night… If you can, can you pick me up later? I… I can’t be with the team right now. It’s just too fresh.”

“Of course, Spencer. Just send me a text a bit before and I’ll be there.” He nods and gives you a quick hug before leaving and your eyes follow him until he’s nothing but a pinprick in your vision.

Like a switch flipped, you can only think of Emily. It’s not fair that she… that Emily is gone, that’s she’s dead. You never thought this was a probability. She was always such an impervious figure in your mind, a larger than life kind of person. You knew it was a possibility in her line of work but it never crossed your mind that it could actually happen to her. She was a strong woman, never letting anything affect her and you can’t believe she’s gone.

You shouldn’t even feel this strongly for her, you’re not meant to be more than a friend to her but you can’t help but think of her as your lover. Every little moment you’ve shared with her flashes in your mind. One in particular stands out, one that had happened only a month or two ago.

“Ugh, Emily. We’ve gotta go or else tomorrow morning is gonna be hell for the both of us.” You drag her away from the bar and shoot a smile at the bartender who only shakes her head and mouths “have a nice night”.

“ No ,” she whines, “I don’t want to, babe. We were having so much fun. Let’s stay here and dance some more.” She grins at you, taking your hand and pulling you back into the crowd. You let her because you can never say no to her, not when she’s looking at you with those eyes and that smile.

Her mood is infectious and you let her have this one last dance. It’s not even a song you know but you think it might be your new favorite with the way she twirls you around and looks at you with affection and fondness.

Being with Emily is the best thing that’s ever happened to you, even if this is a temporary thing. You would do anything for her, even leave her alone if that’s what she wanted.

The song ends but the moment doesn’t.

“Okay, okay, Em. We really need to go now.” She pouts at you but relents and follows you out of the club.

Before you reach your car, she pulls you in, her hands cradling your face, and she’s looking at you in wonder, “Y’know I can’t believe you’re actually here. You’re everything I’ve ever wanted. You mean so much to me. I hope you know that.” She leans in and kisses you. You savor every moment of it, feeling her smile against your lips. Like an imp, she grins widely and leaves multiple pecks around your lips, never quite touching.

It’s just you and her in that moment and she’s never seemed more lovely than in that exact moment.

Deciding that her actions are enough, you grab her by the chin and your free arm wraps around her waist so that she’s flush against you and slam your lips onto her own. Every emotion you’ve felt for her is poured into the kiss and you hope she can feel it. It’s passionate and messy and it leaves you wanting more.

She lets out a small moan when you move your mouth to pepper kisses onto her jaw and to suck on her sweet spot, sighing praises into her skin as if they’ll imprint on her, an irrefutable claim.

You’re not sure how much time passes between that moment but you only stop when you hear multiple wolf whistles and she groans before pulling away from you and yells at the offenders, “Shows’ over, you fucks!” Then she turns to you and leers, “We’ll finish this back at my place.”

You’re only able to nod and look at her in awe, “Emily Prentiss… what a woman you are. I’ll never be able to forget you know?”

She smiles even wider at your admission, and beckons you forward and of course you come closer and she admits quietly, “You won’t ever have the chance to. I plan on never letting you go.”

But all moments have to come to an end.

If only that was the truth because she never brought up the conversation the morning after. Whether she actually remembered it and shoved it aside or she genuinely couldn’t remember, you can’t decide what’s worse. You never mention it because you don’t want to ruin something that already works and now… Now you would never have the chance to find out because Emily was dead.

Tears well up in your eyes and you recognize the signs of an oncoming panic attack. It’s with a wet laugh that you realize that you were right, your dramatic thoughts from the night she texted you had come true.

Emily Prentiss would haunt you forever and you’ll let her if it means you’ll never forget what she sounded like or what each gleam in her eye or each smile meant.

#emily prentiss x reader #emily prentiss x female reader #spencer reid x reader #criminal minds fanfiction #emily prentiss fanfiction #spencer reid fanfiction #my writing #holding on

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finalgilmoregirl · 4 years

Text

off the table (steve rogers x reader)

warning: very angsty, fluff and a little smut but nothing too graphic. ALSO ENDGAME SPOLIERS!!

a/n: based on a request i got from @buckythetinman for the song “off the table” by ariana grande!! i loveeeee this song. 🤍✨🥺

this was supposed to be a blurb but i turned out to be superrrr long so i’m sorry for that and i’m also sorry for any spelling mistakes! i got a little confused with the time travel stuff but it’s okay i think.

—————————————————

Will I ever love the same way again? (Way again) Will I ever love somebody like the way I did you?

despite how happy steve seemed in the present day, finally adjusted with your help, you knew deep down he still wished to go back and know what could’ve been. what life would be like with his beloved peggy carter. so when the topic of time travel was brought up, you didn’t know whether to be excited or worried.

when the big “time heist” began you were teamed with the others to go back to 2012 to find the tesseract. but that mission went south very quickly and it was suggested that steve and tony go even father back to 1970. you and scott shared your doubts of the new plan, warning them that they didn’t have enough particles to come back after that. but they went anyway, and when they came back, you were relieved but you noticed steve was acting different. it was like he was stuck in a daze after that and you were worried that he’d seen something he maybe shouldn’t have. your suspicions were proven correct when you caught him looking at his compass. something you hadn't seen since you first started dating.

Never thought you'd be so damn hard to replace

I swear it don't need to be this way

the fight with thanos and his army had taken a big toll on you. physically, mentally and emotionally. bruises littered your whole body but the most pain you felt was in your heart. you tried to accept both natasha and tony’s deaths and be grateful for all the people that were alive because of them. but you just couldn’t. the first few nights after tony’s funeral, steve held you in bed as you cried. he helped you shower and encouraged you to eat when you couldn’t bring yourself to. and you tried your best to help him through the grieving process too, despite how helpless you felt. he refused it most of the time but was grateful nonetheless. and after you cried yourself to sleep, he would pull his compass out of the bedside drawer and look at the picture of peggy, and sighed at the thought of seeing her again. but then he would feel you nuzzling into his side, looking calmer than you’d had in days, and his heart sank at the thought of leaving you so vulnerable. would it be worth it?

you noticed the way he was pulling away from you. first he started staying in tonys basement lab late nights with bruce. he felt bad coming back to your shared room and seeing you in the same position you were in from when he left you that morning. but he was doing what he thought was right. he was hoping that not being close to you now, would make it not hurt so bad when he left.

this continued for a while. he started to think you’d die of starvation so he asked wanda to take you food, to which she said “you’re her boyfriend. this is supposed to be your job.” he brushed her off with an “i’ve been busy.” she took it upon herself to look in his head to see exactly what he was so busy with that he couldn’t look after his girl. and she was shocked to see a daydream of him going back in time and being reunited and happy with another woman, to which she recognized as margaret carter.

If I can't have you, is love completely off the table?

Do I sit this one out and wait for the next life? (Next life)

he missed you before he even left. the night before he was set to take the stones back it all hit him at once. how you’d been there for him through so much, and now he was leaving you? he tried justifying it by thinking you’d want him to be happy. but what about your happiness?

that evening he was determined to show you how much you meant to him, how much he loved you. he went into your room and saw that you weren’t in bed. he panicked for a second until he heard the shower running. he was proud of you for getting out of bed to freshen up, but remembered how he had been no help in it. he sat on the bed you two had been sharing and waited for you to come out. and when you did he felt his heart flutter and break at the same time. you were wearing one of his shirts, which he never got tired of seeing you in. but after taking in the rest of your appearance more clearly, he almost gasped. you looked so much more thinner than he last recalled, clearly a sign you still had yet to eat a proper meal. your eyes were puffy and skin looked dull.

he didn’t hesitate to stand up and engulf you in one of the tightest hugs he’d ever given. it surprised you at first and you couldn’t help but sob as you held him. you missed this. steve held back tears as he let out a sad “i love you so much y/n. i’m so sorry i haven’t been there for you.”

that night, he made love to you like it was the first time again. his showed how sorry he was by kissing every inch of your weak body and never going a minute without telling you how much he adored you. after hours of passion, steve held you in his arms and watched as you slept, trying to memorize every single one of your features. he pulled you close one last time and whispered to your sleeping body. “maybe we’d have our happy ending in another life, y/n. i just don’t think it’ll be this one.”

Am I too cold? Am I not nice?

Might not be quite yet healed already

Should I be goin' too steady? (Too steady)

But I just wanna know is love completеly off the table?

the next morning, you woke up in the arms of your boyfriend. and for the first time in a long time, you felt that things were turning up. you turned to see him already awake, though it looked like he had been crying. you reached up to hold his face in your hands. “what’s wrong stevie?” you asked, tiredly. he rubbed a hand up and and down your waist and exhaled. “i just love you so much baby.” he said. you wrapped yourself around him and ran your hands through his silky blonde hair. “i love you too” you giggled and he felt his heart swell. you pulled away just enough to see his face. he opened his mouth to speak but hesitated. you nodded, encouraging him to go on. “i uh..” he started, “i have to take the stones back today.”

you tensed under his hold and he felt it. “how long will you be gone?” you wondered aloud. steve let out a small sigh and didn’t answer right away, because truth be told, he didn’t even know. what would be days on the mission for him could possibly be only a few minutes for you or vice versa. it had been discussed with him that he’d have to go back to 1970 and was aware of the fact that he’d risk seeing peggy again. so he just gave the only answer he felt he could give. “i don’t know...not long.”

I'll wait for you Even though it always feels like I'll be number two

To someone you can't hold anymore

If you let me in, I'm ready to give you what I couldn't before

before you knew it, you were standing next to the podium and watched as bruce prepared the machine for steve to leave. you already accepted the thought of him not coming back before he even went through. and even though it pained you, there’s nothing you wanted more than for him to be happy, even if that meant him leaving you for someone else. he didn’t have to tell you, or explain what he was really going to do. you were always good at reading him, which is one of the things he loves most about you. but you guessed it wasn’t enough for him to stay.

so as you wished him luck, you gave him a knowing glance. a look of guilt washed over him as he mouthed a small “i love you”. and then he was gone.

'Cause I got you, girl, let me help you through it

You're trying to fill the void with a couple boys

I can see right through it (You can see right through it)

steve had told bucky what he was going to do. and he was furious. he’d grown close to you in the short years you’d known each other and it was safe to say he was very protective of you. he refused to let steve leave you, especially after all the loss you’d been through recently. but again, his heart was set. he knew bucky would take care of you. and that’s exactly what happened when steve was taking longer to come back than he should’ve.

you guess you hadn’t accepted his departure after all, cause in the midst of sam and bruce’s panic, you fell to your knees in a sob. clutching your chest as tears streamed down your face, bucky was quick to hug you. he didn’t say anything because really...what could he?

I can love you harder than I did before Was in a dark place back then

I was toxic, then I was toxic to someone else

I was haunted by the hills (Oh yeah, yeah)

I couldn't give you my all, but I will

If you let me in your arms (Your arms)

If you let me in your heart

I don't think that love's completely off the table

steve regretted leaving. he thought this was what he wanted. when he went back and saw peggy again, he felt his heart pounding, but he thinks that it was just out of nerves. after their reunion, peggy took them home and they shared their dance as he promised they would before he went into the ice. but something was off.

dancing with her almost felt wrong. her body didn’t fit as perfectly with his as he’d imagined. he brushed it off again as nerves but the longer the evening went with her, the more doubts crept up on him and he started to worry if this was all a mistake. peggy felt it too. she asked him about the future, how his life was like and what he’d experienced. he told her about saving bucky, the avengers and even going to space. without even noticing, he’d began talking about you. “who’s y/n?” she asked him. he registered what he had said and paused. “she’s uh- she’s a good friend.” she noted the dull glimmer in his eyes whenever he’d speak of this “y/n” but never brought it up. she didn’t want to spoil her second chance with him.

but overtime it seemed to spoil itself. steve and peggy seemed to have little in common, which often led to disagreements. another thing he began to notice overtime was how much he missed little things about the future. modern technology, the internet and most importantly, you.

how could he have left? you were happy together, had so much in common despite being born in two separate time periods. he understood your feelings and you understood his and he missed everything about you. he thought going back to his past would have been exciting and amazing but nothing was exciting without you next to him.

I don't think that love's completely off the table

he needed to come home to you.

he remembered about dr.pym’s lab and knew that with what he’d learned with tony and bruce, he could maybe manage to pull it off. steve didn’t care how long it would take. he just wanted you in his arms again.

Will you be there? (Yes, I will be there for you)

Can I still love you? (Yes, I been hurt before, before)

Not yet healed or ready (Not ready)

Should I be goin' too steady? (Too steady, no, no)

Just wanna know is love completely off the table?

of course there was still uncertainty while he worked through his plan. would you take him back? what if you’d moved on in the time he was gone? did you still love him? he hoped you were okay at least, that you found a way to be happy while he was gone. he explained to peggy what he wished to do and although she was upset to have him leave again, she couldn’t bring herself to stop him.

it took him three months to work it out along with the help of howard stark. and with a new determination, steve was excited to see you. standing on the platform, he pulled out his compass and opened it to look at a picture of you that had replaced peggy’s and gave a sad smile. “i’m coming home” he whispered.

So can you hold me?

If I let you, can you prove it to me? (Oh, no-no, no)

when steve returned to the present, he found the area surrounding the machine empty. everything was quiet save for the whirring the platform settling down. it didn’t look too different to when he had left but long enough for him to see the difference in the greenery. the trees looked taller and the grass that surrounded the area was longer, so he could only assume it had been quite some time for you. looking around the outside of the cabin, he found a way inside and managed to find the keys to one of tony’s cars. his drive back to the city went by in a blur, his mind too caught up in thinking of you. he was relieved to arrive at the compound and see it hadn’t changed much. there were still agents training outside and people coming in and out of the building. parking the car right in front, he took a deep breath and marched right inside, paying no attention to the people’s shocked faces and whispered, obviously bewildered to see the captain back after they learned he had gone back to the past. not wanting to wait for the elevators, he decided to take the stairs, wasting no time in going towards the residential floor you all had called home. in the midst of his quick actions, he almost didn’t hear a voice that was calling his name.

“steve?”

he turned to see bucky. confusion etched on his face. his hair was the first thing steve noticed, it was way shorter than before. he was snapped out of it when he remembered his mission to find you

“bucky! y/n. where’s y/n?” steve questioned. steve was glad to see his face, but bucky couldn’t say the same for himself. bucky didn’t know how to feel after seeing his friend. what the hell was he doing here?

“bucky please i need to see her!!” steve pleaded and as much as bucky wished it were that simple, he knew it wasn’t. it had been almost a year for them of being without steve and in that time bucky had helped to piece your life back together. you still had your bad days but he was still proud to say that with his help you were finally getting over him. he didn’t want all that time and effort to go down the drain if you saw steve, only to have him leave again. bucky shared his worries with him while steve continued pleading for you.

“bucky i SWEAR. i know it was a mistake but i promise i’m not leaving. i miss her buck just please i need her back!” steve professed. when bucky opened his mouth to object again he was interrupted by your voice as you walked out to the stairwell. “bucky? you okay? i heard some yelli-“ you froze. both men looked at you with wide eyes.

'Cause I need you to calm me down, babe

Gotta get out of my head (Oh, woah)

Tryna be here from this bed (Oh)

Just wanna know, just wanna know, know, know, baby (Hey)

steve was the first to speak. “hey n/n.” he said carefully, he could see the fear in your face and didn’t want to scare you away. he took a step towards you and that’s when you snapped out of your daze. you took in a sharp breath and a step back. there’s no way, you thought. you were imagining things. he wasn’t here. this wasn’t real. but then he reached and held your hand and the familiar warmth he gave off was enough to confirm the reality. it really was him. you let out a shaky breath and felt a tear run down your face. steve couldn’t take the wait anymore and pulled you tight against his body, you melting into him almost immediately. the smell was enough to make you choke on your tears.

“what are you doing here?” you asked him.

he gave a small teary smile. “told you i’d come back didn’t i?”

Can you touch it like you believe in it, baby? (Oh, hey)

Let me think you never gonna leave on me, baby

'Cause I ain't her and you ain't him, thankfully (Baby, don't leave)

But it's gon' be hard to let someone else in again (Woah)

Baby, baby (Woo-hoo)

steve was surprised that you had forgiven him so soon but you just couldn’t help it. he was back and you couldn’t be upset at him when he told you he’d never leave again. after all, he always kept his word one way of another. bucky left you two alone and you lead steve to the common room to catch up and figure out what would happen next. because looking back, steve left you for another woman and although you were grateful for his return, you didn’t know if continuing your relationship was the best option.

“steve how can i believe you? how do i know that you won’t think that this is a mistake and leave me again.” you confessed, sitting across from him.

Will you be there? (Will you be there? I'll still wait)

Can I still love you? (I'll still wait for you, babe, oh, no-no, no, can I still love you?)

Not yet healed or ready (Ooh, not ready)

Should I be goin' too steady? (No, no, ooh)

Just wanna know is love completely off the table, baby?

“i understand y/n.” he said. “and trust me when i say this doll, i’ll wait until you’re ready. and i’ll do everything i can to prove to you how sorry i am. i was so stupid for leaving but now i’m here and i can’t life a happy life unless you’re in it. i love you. i just want to know that this isn’t over.”

you put a hand on his cheek.

“trust me. it’s far from over.” you smiled at him.

I swear, I swear

I will wait for you whenever you need

Ooh, ooh

—————————————————

omg i’m so sorry this is so long i got way ahead of my self. but i hope you enjoyed!!

#steve rogers x reader #steve rogers imagine #steve rogers #chris evans x reader #steve rogers fluff #steve rogers angst #little marvel baby fic

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dancingthesambaa · 3 years

Text

The Smell of Plum Blossom Tea Ch 10

Summary: Just like a butterfly wing, a single act of kindness can change the course of the future, it certainly did for MK as a black-furred monkey put out a hand towards him

Rating: Teen and up

Chapter 10: Do You See That?

MK moaned as he stumbled down to the restaurant.

“Still can’t find it,” Mei acquiesced as she saw him flop down on the counter.

She got a groan in response.

“Yikes, are you sure you check everywhere?”

“Yes! I looked everywhere!” He lifted his head to meet hers and began to rant. “I checked in my drawer, my nightstand, my closet, all of my pockets, under my bed, under the nightstand, under the floorboards, and I even tried to see if Bobo had it!”

“You tried to see if your stuffed monkey had it,” she raised her eyebrow.

“Have you seen what goes on in this city? You never doubt the unexpected! For I all know, Bobo could suddenly turn into a real monkey overnight!”

“Point, well have you retraced your steps?”

“Yes, and I even called all the places we’ve been to, but they found nothing.”

“You lost the skeleton key?” Pigsy deadpanned as he tossed the apron to MK.

“I didn’t mean to! I thought I'd put it in my room, but now I can’t find it!” He groaned as he put on his apron

“Hopefully it’ll come up eventually, I mean it’s for sure to make it to the news if any criminals decide to steal something from a tightly locked place and when that happens we’ll nab them like the dirtbags they are,” she pounded her fist together.

“Yeahh, I guess you're right,” he sighed as he got behind the counter, “speaking of, have you seen Red Son recently?”

“No,” she shook her head, “last time I saw him was when we were at that arcade trying to beat his score.” Let it be known that all three trio had at least one high score in a game at the arcade. For Mei it was the combat games, MK proudly took his dancing games, and for Red Son it was the shooting ones.

“Same, I hope he’s alright,” he said worriedly.

“If he isn’t, we'll bust him out,” Mei said as she got her food, “never liked his family and the whole taking over the city didn’t really help.”

“Count me in,” his eyes darken a bit, “I still don’t like the both of them.”

“You and me both, now time to get to work, noodle boy,” she teased him.

“Yeah, yeah,” he rolled his eyes as he helped with some of the prep.

The boat was in a comfortable silence as two demons were calmly drinking tea, or at least one of them as the other was nervously petting one of the very fat cats.

He opened his mouth to talk, but shut it right quick as he instead took a sip of his steaming tea.

“You don’t have to say anything,” Sandy comforted him when he said his actions, “we can just sit here and relax.”

“I know,” Red Son muttered as he held the tea in hand. “You always preach patience and confidentiality.”

“And I still do, remember if you don’t want to share something, you are under no obligation to say a word. This is your choice and your choice only,” he smiled as he took another sip.

“Yeah,” he put down his cup as he brought the car back to his lap, “I…I did something really bad, not in a physically harmful way, but I still feel ashamed of myself that I had to do it to someone I care-to someone I know,” he quickly said.

Sandy nodded his head as he continued to listen.

“I know I didn’t hurt them, but I still feel gross that I did that to them and they still don’t know it was me. They have even been asking about me and if I’m well and I don’t like this feeling, hell I don’t even know what I’m feeling, but it feels like a bunch of snakes slithering all through my stomach and trying to escape out of my throat,” he stilled his hands as it began to shake.

“Do you care for them?” He asked.

“No!” He yelled at first, but then he settled down as he silently nodded. He may have known Mei and MK for only a couple of months, but he cares fiercely about the two of them. He doesn’t know why he even does, but there is something about them that just makes him want to never let go.

“I think it’s that you feel that you took their trust for advantage,” the blue giant calmly said.

Red Son's eyes widened as that clicked in his head. He abused the trust in him and he feels utterly disgusted with himself. “What have I done,” he whispered out as his whole body dropped.

“That doesn’t mean that it’s the end,” Sandy quickly said. “All types of relationships go through this kind of struggle, it’s easy to just give in and think that it's all over, but it's not. It’s not over, after all, it doesn’t take one person to communicate, after all, you need someone else to talk to rather than you and your doubts, so why don’t you try to talk to them and explain why-”

“But I can’t,” he fiercely whispered out. “I had to do it! I had to.”

“…do you mind if I ask why you think you had to do it?”

“I had to!” He shot up, almost knocking down the cat in his lap, who just gave him a side glance before settling down next to him. “I had to! I can’t disappoint them even more than I am! I was a failure all those centuries ago and I am one now! I need to show them that I can be successful, I can help them when they need it, that I can be useful!”

Sandy’s lips pursed, he already had a good idea who Red Son was referring to and least to say that he doesn’t really have that high of an opinion on his parents and instead, he asked, “But did you want to do it?”

He froze as he looked at the blue demon, “What?”

“Did you want to do it?” He calmly asked once more as he could see the turmoils running all through his mind.

The Bull prince wanted to open his mouth and agree that he wanted to steal from his friend's home, that he wanted to abandon his friends for his family, that he wanted to betray his friends, but he couldn’t even force it open as it would just taste vile coming from his lips. So instead he sinks back down to his seat and tightly gripped his head as he shook his head in denial as his eyes were tightly squeezed shut.

He never wanted to do this in the first place.

The ship was in somber silence as two demons were silently sitting across from each other until the giant demon went to the other side and began to rub the smaller demon back as the fat cat climbed on back to the demon lap and began to purr.

There are no words that can be said at the moment, nothing that can be done or said that can magically make it all better. But there is that comfort that someone knows of his vile actions and still doesn’t harbor hate towards him.

And he can’t help, no matter how much he knows he doesn’t deserve this kind of warmth, but be fucking grateful for this.

“But wouldn’t it be best if I added the components before the pot settles,” MK asked as he held up the vials in his hand.

“Why is that?” Macaque hummed as he was scrunched his nose at the package he had received and was currently opening the note.

“It just wouldn’t make sense if I had to add the mixture after it has cooled down, I mean I know for some recipes it would be fine, but doesn’t this one account for the melting process later on? So it would be better to mix them while it’s still steaming right now so that they can be melded in properly,” he deduced.

“And you would be correct, nice job thinking ahead shooting star,” he smiled as he tossed both note and package in the trash.

“Thanks!” He perked up then he blinked as he looked to his dad, “you were testing me weren’t you.”

“Oh yeah,” he unashamedly said.

“And what would happen if I got it wrong?”

“Well I always did think that failure was the best way to learn from your mistakes,” he teased, “but I would have told you to add it in, I would rather not waste my products.”

“Ha Ha Ha,” he deadpanned as he poured the vials in and mixed the pot, “you’re hilarious.”

“I try to be.”

He rolled his eyes as he put the timer on, took off his gloves, and washed his hands. He couldn’t help but look towards the monkey's traditional methods as he continued to grind down the herbs. “So I’m curious, you have been alive for centuries and obviously kept up somewhat to the times, so why are you still using old methods for medications?” He was always a bit curious over this, but never really thought to ask until now.

The monkey just shrugged his shoulder, “honestly it’s both a habit at this point and relaxing. When Ping first taught me this, I couldn’t help but be frustrated at all the little details and accuracy you must have in order to correctly make the right dose, but now that is almost background noise as it comes almost instinctual.”

MK hummed as he sat on his stool, “so can you tell me more about Ping? Like, I know why you continue to go back to your friend and all and how he taught you how to make medicine, but you never did talk more about him.”

“Didn’t I say Ping was a normal ass bastard who was just way too chill about basically everything,” he smirked as he began to place the bright herbs into another pot.

“You did, but I’m still curiousss,” he whined. “You must have some more stories about him.”

“You must be bored.”

“No!”

He raised his eyebrow.

“Okay fine a little, but I am curious,” he huffed.

“Fine fine,” he gave in as he continued to mix his pot, “did I ever tell you the first time I ever found out that Ní was a fox?”

“No!” He eagerly exclaimed.

“Well it was the same day I found out that Kappa was an adrenaline junkie.”

MK didn’t twitch at the Shui Gui name given by his Dad as he listened to the story with open ears.

“Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!” Macaque couldn’t help but yell out as he swung from tree to tree, hoping to outrun the enraged spirit, with crinkled gray skin and a long red tongue, chasing after them. “I’m going to kill you once this is over!” He yelled out.

“How was I supposed to know not to piss off their feeding!” Kappa yelled back as he clung onto the demon's back.

“That’s fucking common sense!”

“Spirits don’t even need to eat, so I don’t know why the hell they are so mad?!”

“Apparently this one does!”

They both yelled as they felt a fireball whizz by their faces.

“It even knows fire magic?!” The Shui Gui blanched as much as an already pale spirit could. “Now you're just showing off!”

“Less talking more thinking of a way out of this,” the monkey growled out as he had to jump up higher to the next branch of the tree to see if Kappa could get a better look of where they were going.

“Can’t you use your shadow magic?”

“Oh geez, I wonder why I haven’t thought of that? Oh right! You fucking fed me Mandrakes and now I can barely see shit let alone use my magic!” He snarled out. “Do you want me to send us down under to Yama's home cause that can happen if I happen to even try to go into my shadows?! Or do you want to be smothered by your own shadow cause that can also happen you stupid fuck!”

“Sorry! I really didn’t think that this would happen!” He did wince, he was trying to play a prank on his friend and it was funny at first at how he stumbled throughout the place, but now it has gotten less funny.

“Your very fucking lucky that I have great fucking hearing to manage to run this far without running into anything,” his lips curled up, but then he stopped as promptly jumped all the way down to the floor as a large fireball was aimed directly towards them.

Macaque stumbled for a bit as he couldn’t exactly see the tree branches as he was falling thus the two of them separated during the fall and were now lying on the ground.

“Fuuucckk,” the monkey groaned as he got up, “I am so killing you again when this is all done.”

“That’s fair,” Kappa moaned out.

The spirit let out a warning hiss as it drew closer to the both of them, their long tongue licking their lips as they couldn’t wait to drain their soul for their meal. They haven’t eaten in so long and they would take anything at this point, even if it means coming from something as dirty as a demon.

“I ain’t nobody meal,” Macaque growled out as he got into position, he may not be able to use his powers, but he can still kick ass without it.

He tensed as he heard the creature leap for him, but before it could even go near him a large plume of fire directly hit the crazed spirit.

“HIISSSSS!” They screamed out as the fire burned their skin, but no matter how hard they tried they couldn’t get it out until they were burned away into ashes.

“Uhhh what just happened?” The demon questioned as he tried to hear out on who did that cause all he can see was a blurry form and a large orange flame if he is correct judging by the smell.

“Ní you beautiful bastard!” Kappa threw his hands in the air. “You have amazing timing!”

“I wouldn’t if you would not run into danger every week,” they scoffed as they walked towards the tensed monkey. “I’m just gonna go out on a limb and say you still can’t see?”

“Not for shit,” he grumbled. “Also, when can you do fire magic?” He tried to see the best he could in the small bunny form, but for some reason, it was a very large form. “…are you not a fucking bunny?”

“Nope,” this time it was Ping's voice that said that as he handed him a jar filled with orange liquid. “Drink that, it should help.”

“Thanks,” he nodded as he wrinkled his nose as he chugged down the entire vial. “This is still the nastiest thing I have ever tasted.”

“If it tastes bad then you know it works,” he chuckled as he watched the monkey blink his eyes.

“I’ll give you that, I can finally see shit again,” he agreed as everything became much clearer, but he couldn’t help but rub his eyes as he saw that what he assumed was Ní was instead a large, brown, nine-tailed fox looking down at him. “You’re a Huli Jing?”

“Took you long enough,” they smirked.

“I’m sorry if I thought you were a regular damn bunny demon,” he snarked out as he rubbed his eyes.

“Apology accepted.”

He rolled his eyes and instead look towards Ping, “and you fucking knew about this?”

“Course, been living with them long enough to know that wasn’t no damn bunny with the way they eat,” he let out a toothy grin.

“And you just don’t care.”

“Nope,” the human chuckled at Macaque's twitching eye.

“Course you don’t, next thing you’ll tell me is that you routinely have a deity visiting you every day.”

“Well, not every day, but every once in a while.”

He whipped his head towards him, “what.”

“Probably once every few months,” he calculated as he began to walk back to his home.

“Hold on now! You can’t just say that and walk away!” The six eared demon quickly began to follow, “like what the hell do you mean you get visits from a fucking deity?!”

“One of the top pups in the Heavenly Realm at that,” Kappa grinned wider at his friend's befuddled look.

“What the fuck?! How in the fuck?! What?” He couldn’t comprehend how Ping, the most basic ass human who he ever met, knows so many creatures, demons, and now a celestial deity that apparently have a high ass position in one of the most sought out places, and still stays in this place. “I can’t even right now.”

“Awww is it too much for your brain to comprehend,” the spirit mocked as he then let out a yelp as he quickly began to run away from the ticked off monkey.

“I still haven’t forgotten what you did! Get back here and face vengeance you slimy bitch!” Macaque yelled out as he chased him.

“I have no regrets!”

“You will soon!”

“I didn’t think it could get more lively,” Ping chuckled as he watched those two run around. “It’s nice to see Shi Shi make a friend.”

“Pretty sure his friend is gonna kill him,” Ní snorted as they silently followed behind.

“That would be interesting to see and I bet even Shi Shi would enjoy it.”

“…you're not wrong.”

“Whoa, wait how does one person who stays in the same area get to know so many mythical beings?” MK tilted his head.

“You're asking the wrong monkey,” he shrugged, “but the deity still comes around every once in a while.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, he may have a long life, but he still remembers Ping,” he had a somber smile on his face, “he even likes to visit his old home sometimes.”

The human couldn’t help but remember an old shack deep within the forest that he found when he was thirteen. He shook his head to get rid of the memory and instead asked, “So that's why you built the forest here, Ping home was like your first ever home?”

Macaque stilled his body then he shook his head, “technically second.”

“Second? Then what was your first? I thought you were a traveler before this?” The boy asked, while his Dad never really got into his own backstory, he can still safely assume that he was not born and raised in a warm and safe environment with kind and loving parents.

“Flower Fruit Mountain,” he rubbed the back of his neck.

“What?”

“Yeahh, that was my first ever home for a bit.”

MK leaned forward as much as he could on the stool. “Tell me everything.”

“Well, aren't you nosy today.”

“I’m hungry for knowledge about your past that you never speak of unless it has to do with others, so talk.”

“I have raised such a snarky child,” he mumbled.

“And you still love me for it, now talk.”

“Fine, fine,” he threw his hands up, “so I was currently enjoying my free time when Wukong decided to drag me over to his mountain.”

“Can I at least know why I’m being carried to your home instead of walking?” Macaque questioned why Wukong was currently carrying him while flying on his cloud.

“Cause this is the fastest way to get there!” He grinned.

“You could have just asked.”

“Yeah, but it was fun surprising you like this,” he won’t admit that he kinda likes having his friend close to him like this. He has an image to keep up after all.

“I literally can't escape dumbass, just let me go,” he groaned as he didn’t even attempt to break free of his grasp. He knew damn well how strong sunshine can be, he as seen him lift an entire fucking mountain for god’s sake.

“Alright,” he jumped down and when his feet reached the bottom he let go.

“…go fuck yourself,” Macaque couldn’t stop the low growl in his voice as he picked himself off the ground.

“Fuck me yourself,” he smiled as he earned a nice view of six ears flaring up in a fierce red.

“Wha-shut the fuck up dumbass!” The shadow demon shouted out as he stomped towards him.

“It was a joke, a joke,” he grinned as he began to run away.

“I’ll show you a joke.”

“Oooh?” They both paused their actions as they saw a few monkeys climb up the tree and pop their heads from the bushes of trees and hanging from the branches.

“Friends of yours,” the black furred demon muttered as he saw that more came to join.

“Yep,” he then said a little louder to the tribe of simians, “everyone this is Macaque!”

This got a reaction out of them as some of them began to chatter a bit louder and a few even hopped off their tree.

“Don’t worry, he only looks like an angst ridden demon, but that’s just his normal look.”

“I will tear out your tongue,” he side eyed him.

“But you love me too much~”

“You overestimate my fondness and patience I have for you,” he deadpanned as he still kept an eye out for one of the monkeys who was getting closer to him. He nervously shifted as he was about to take a step back, but he was stopped as Wukong wrapped his arm around his shoulder.”

“Take it easy moonshine, they just want to get to know you,” he comforted him as one of them stared up at Mac.

Said demon said nothing as he looked back down to the monkey as well. It was a weird standoff between the two monkeys, well it was until the smallest one seemed to decide something as he began to climb up the demon.

“Wha-hey?!” Macaque flinched at the actions but managed to not accidentally shake the monkey off thanks to Sun’s arms keeping him in place.

“It’s okay,” he softly whispered in his ears as the small simian made his way to the black furred head and began to groom him. “See, he just wanted to groom you.”

“Wow I couldn’t tell,” he snarked back and slowly began to feel his body ease up at the touch. He wasn’t use to anyone grooming him other than Wukong, so it was a new experience for him. “I guess it’s not so bad.”

“Great, cause here comes the rest,” he pointed out a few more making their way to them.

And soon enough many were crowding around the two demons and some were even brave enough to climb on the Six Eared demon.

“I don’t think I've ever seen them take a liking to anyone so fast,” Wukong smiled as he watched his friends climb all over him.

“Probably helps cause I’m a monkey,” he said and couldn’t help but smile as one of them that was hanging from his neck began to nuzzle him.

“Nah, they basically adopted you at this point,” he teased as he saw the interaction, “they practically are welcoming you home.”

“Heh…wait what?” He was startled by that last word, “Home?”

The brown furred monkey sucked in a breath as he facepalms. “Shit I knew I forgot something.”

“Forgot what?”

“Sooo, do you want to live here?” He grinned widely trying to hide his nerves.

“Huh?!” Macaque was not at all following the impulsive monkey train of thought.

“It’s just that I don’t think I've ever seen you have a house before and I know you usually spend your nights out on the streets or in the wild when you want to snooze. So I was just thinking that, hey I have a big ass mountain that has plenty of space and it would be awesome if we could just, you know, stay together here.” He didn’t know why he was going on a tangent right now, but he felt like he just needed to explain himself.

“…couldn’t you have asked instead of kidnaping me here then?” He raised an eyebrow as he tried to follow his friend's mindset.

“Kinda forgot that part and went straight here,” he grinned.

“Of course you did,” Macaque fondly rolled his eyes.

“So, what do you say?”

“Well,” the demon monkey looked down to one of the monkeys who was staring up at him and once they made eye contact he lifted his arms. He could tell that this was one of the younger ones so, with a small smile, he picked up the infant and held it close to his chest as he felt him begin to purr. “I wouldn’t mind living here, it's not so bad if they can deal with you.”

Wukong couldn’t think of a retort back as he watched his moonlight hold the infant close in an almost motherly way. He was treating the little one as if it was their own with the way his nimble hands slowly caress the infant head, how his sleek arms were supporting his body, how his beautiful golden eyes lovingly look down at him, how his lips…he stopped that train of thought as he felt his face flush up in a bright red.

“So how bout I take you to all my favorite spots later,” he accidentally shouted out as he quickly got rid of his thoughts.

“Favorite spots?”

“Best places to hide, best view, best fruit tree, you know the awesome stuff!”

“Oh right, how could I forget,” he smirked.

“Don’t worry, that’s why you have me here,” he puffed out his chest.

“Well then I can’t wait to see them,” Macaque said with a smile.

The Monkey King smiled back then he grabbed one of the monkeys that were about to jump off his shoulder. “You need to do better than that to steal from me,” he joked.

The hanging monkey just grinned as he tossed a bag filled with nuts to his other accomplices and they quickly began to run off.

“Hey! Get back here!” He yelled out as he began to chase his friends.

“Nice to see someone can keep him on his toes,” the black furred monkey grinned as he watches his friend, unsuccessfully, try to get his snack back.

“Ooh oo,” the small one in his arms chirped as it grabbed his nose.

“Yeah,” he chuckled and rubbed his head, “I think I’m gonna like it here.”

“I met some of those monkeys when I first cra-I mean landed on Flower Fruit Mountain,” MK abruptly changed his wording. He rather his monkey Dad not try to smother him again. “A few even like to torment me or climb on me too whenever I take a break during training.”

“How are they doing?” He curiously asked as he got up to check the mixture

“They seem fine, they tried to rob me a few times, but fine.” He had to stay on guard each time, but after the fifth time, it has sorta been a game between them all now. He even playfully stole a few fruits from them and they began to chase him as well.

“That’s good,” the six eared demon may have left the mountain, but that didn’t mean he didn’t care for the rest of the tribe that he had to leave behind.

“But I’m curious,” MK said after a few moments of silence.

“Hm?”

“…did…did you add the solution before the mixture or after?” He couldn’t do it. He couldn’t ask his original question. He couldn’t ask if he missed living with the Monkey King, he thinks he may already know the answer.

“After it would be much more malleable to combine that way and speaking of herbs, I’m running out of some of them, specifically the ones used for pain relief.” He eyed the almost empty jars, he has been restocking his supplies back up ever since the hospital demands have cooled down, this was one of the last things he needed. “I’ll have to grab some by the mountain later on in the week.”

“Ooh, can I come!” He excitedly asked, he hasn’t been herb gathering with his Dad in ages.

“Always comet,” he smirked as he watched his son squirm happily in his seat.

“Yes! Yes! Uh Huh! Oh yeah!-wait, my pot!” He immediately stopped and checked over his medicine.

“Still have nine minutes on the timer,” Macaque pointed out to the still ticking timer.

“Oh right,” he actually forgot he set it.

“I worry about you sometimes.”

“Psshh, my memory is not that bad.”

“Do I need to remind you of the vase incident?” The monkey deadpanned.

“Okay to be fair I wasn’t paying any attention to the history of it, so how was I supposed to know that it was a curse. Besides, Mei was playing with it as well.”

“And this is why the two of you were stuck at the hip, literally. You should just be lucky that Ahmed was around else you really would have been stuck together for a much longer time,” he bluntly said.

“I still think that curse was stupid,” MK mumbled.

“Just be glad that it was stupid and not deadly.”

“…point.”

Wukong silently watched his successor spar against one of his clones as he sat still on his cloud. He had to admit that while MK still tends to have his own burst of impulsiveness, a mild reckless streak, and a curiosity that could even rival his own, he can certainly still find new ways to surprise him.

SLAM

Like right now, he used a fake out move as when he swung high, only to go low instead while making sure to grab hold of his tail. It didn’t get the clone in time, but it was still a shock to see that he can be sneaky when he wants to be and this was just with the staff in hand.

He had a hand to hand session with him, in the beginning, to see what he was dealing with and he was very surprised to find that, while he couldn’t keep up with him, he can almost match his own pace, which is no easy feat.

So it really piqued his curiosity on just who his Dad was. After all, he could count a handful of demons and deities on both hands that could rival him in speed and it wasn’t that many.

He still was silently watching his protege when one of the monkeys, one of the immortal ones, hopped onto his cloud and watched with him. He did give a slight grin and scratched the back of his friend's head, they were the reason why he hasn’t gotten insane with isolation for all those years.

“Not feeling like playing,” he said.

The monkey shook her head, she liked playing with her tribe, don’t get her wrong, but even she needs some time away from them.

“I feel ya, lazing about is truly the best,” he stretched on his cloud. “We’ll almost, I still have to watch over my student after all.”

She looked to where he was pointing to and she cooed excitedly as she saw the familiar scent infant. She and the rest of the tribe absolutely loved playing with him whenever he was. He was really nice with sharing his food with them and they couldn’t help, but share their own games and food with him as well. It does help that he knows how to groom them, his fingers feel really nice.

“Familiar scent?” He questioned her words, he knew that the tribe had been hanging around MK, but what did they mean by the familiar scent? “What does it remind you of?”

“Ooh! Oohooh!” She told him as she watched the infant jump away from the strike.

“Like ginseng, earth, and…mango?” He paused at that last one, but he shook his head, “no it couldn’t, not after all this time.”

SLAM

His eyes widened as he watched MK pop up from the ground and grappled the clone from the back as he wrapped his arms around the neck and his legs around one of his clone legs. It didn’t work as the clone easily broke free and counterattack, but that grapple has been used countless times on him before, but not by MK.

His eyes became golden as he activated his eyes of truth and it wasn’t obvious at first, he still had the same bright golden aura tinted with a reddish-orange glow, but when he looked closer past the obvious glow he saw it. Right there flowing through his meridians and underneath the eye-catching colors, was a subtle violet aura gently coursing through.

He could feel his heartbeat fiercely in his ears and his body froze in time as he couldn’t stop staring at the familiar aura that was almost intertwined with MK.

What is Macaque doing with his student?

“Why are there so many mountains around this city?!” MK groaned as they trekked up the mountain carrying his own satchel of stored up plants. “Like one I can get, but we have so many that it’s spewed around like it’s nobody's business.

“I’m pretty sure that this was the aftermath of some deity and demons fighting, after all, we also have an ocean to one side, a forest on the other, a volcano between, and a desert just a ways past.” He said as he eyed his surroundings, never really clarified on why it was like this too, he has seen some areas like this, but to have so many different biomes all encircling this one area was more than a bit weird. All he knew about it was that there was some big battle with the city, before it was a city, being the center point of it all. Someone wanted something from the city, he didn’t know if it was the deity or demon, and the other party made sure to prevent the other from grabbing it. No one knew which side won as there was simply destruction one moment and a bleak silence the next.

“That is weird, I wonder what kind of beings would have that kind of power to make a whole new area,” he mused as he hopped over to another rock.

“Quite a few actually, maybe the library will help,” he said while his ears twitched.

“Or Ahmed and Tang.”

“Or Ahmed and Tang,” that lion is almost as big of a book nerd as the historian, the big lug even likes debating with him over what’s true and what’s fake. It’s sorta hilarious, Pigsy has to be the one to hold Tang back when he really gets into the debate and stops him from practically climbing Ahmed. “Now try going for that section over there and see if you can find any Lichens in your area.”

“Alrighty, but I still say it would be easier just growing it in the forest, I think you have just enough space,” he teased.

Macaque rolled his eyes, “You already know damn well that even I can’t forcibly grow certain plants.”

“So you're saying you can’t do it.”

“You can’t grow a goddamn plant that has adapted to the mountain to just grow in a forest.”

“You can’t do it~” His mischievous grin grew wider.

“Come here you,” the monkey began to chase after his child, who quickly began to run away from him.

“I think you’re getting slow in your age, old man,” he jumped from rock to rock until he landed on flat land.

“Me old?” MK suddenly felt an impact hit his back as he felt his head go into a headlock. “I’ll show you old,” the demon said as he began to roughly ruffle his head.

“I give! I give!” He laughed as clutched onto the furry arm.

“You better,” he was about to let go when he suddenly tightened his grasp and threw his son away from him.

“Whoa!”

There were few times where his hearing was a shortcoming compared to his other senses. His ears are the epitome of who he is, his whole name revolves around his six ears. But right now, even when he knew something didn’t sit quite right, it was the feeling that saved him as he felt a threatening aura press down upon him as he managed to leap away from that spot and-

BOOOM!

-safely avoid the crater that was dead center to where he was.

“What do you think you're doing with my student Macaque?” An oh so familiar voice hissed out at him as the dust settled.

This time his ears didn’t fail him as even before he spoke, he remembered the sound of his heartbeat echoing all throughout his mind. He first memorized it when they were far from immortality after he had come back to their meeting point broken and bruised. He had picked the wrong fight with a demon who had a gang backing behind him, he barely managed to win against them all and dragged his fractured body to him. Macaque had watched over him all night and, even when he knew he had advanced healing, couldn’t help but listen closely to the sound of his heart pulsing in his chest.

He didn’t want to wake up to his friend's lifeless corpse.

But luckily that didn’t happen, when that morning hit the impulsive idiot popped back up as if he just took a nap and complained that he was starving. Obviously, he smacked him upside the head before throwing his pile of stolen fruits in his face. Then the two ducked out of that area as soon as possible with wild grins on their faces as they went off to find their adventure. The two of them really did go through too much and seen so much together that he didn’t believe it would end.

But that was then and this now.

So, he put on his best theater grin and the most mocking voice he could muster up as he locked down that fragile piece in his head that held his fondness of the monkey glaring at him. He began to talk as he went into a defensive position.

“Sun Wukong! It’s good to see you bud!”

#monkie kid #mk #macaque #six eared macaque #monkey king #PlumTeaAU

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writing-freak · 4 years

Note

Prompt 15 with Ootori Kyoya I think it would just be adorable since he has this shell around him and the reader finally gets through it with that question be that they’re dating or not.

Thank you so much for the request! :)) Bruh you’re over here giving me my J Michael Tatum fix (I’m working on the iida request rn) and I am LOVING it

15. Do you believe in soulmates?

Personally, I think that if you go into a relationship believing it’s “meant to be” or fated or completely out of your control and in the universe’s, then you won’t take responsibility when things go wrong. I think it’s dangerous to believe that even the most perfect relationships don’t require work, effort, compromises, that if you don’t fight to keep your relationship alive, you can lean back on the universe to help you. That being said, I do believe there are those who may perfectly compliment each other, friends, family, or significant others, and I believe that there are some people that were meant to come into your life when they do. I just believe that if you want to keep them in your life, you have to fight for them too :)

Now it’s your turn to answer - what do you all believe about soulmates? :)

Thanks again for the followers! I still have a few prompts left, info here, so let me know if you want anything else!

It had been about a half hour since you decided to break through the uncomfortable silence surrounding you and your childhood friend, Kyoya, as you lounge in his room, working on classwork for the next day, or, in your case, staring at the ceiling dejectedly waiting for your friend to start paying attention to you.

You didn’t mind the silence, not usually, but the growing darkness as the sun sinks beneath the neighboring houses has you all sentimental, and voicing your thoughts in the quiet seems like the only option.

It wasn’t uncommon to find you and Kyoya together, him silently typing away on his laptop, and you seemingly talking to yourself, and you had long given up on the notion that your classmates would think you had any semblance of sanity left.

That’s how it is now, the quiet clicking of his keyboard the only thing interrupting your soft words, and even though you desperately wish to hear your friend’s voice above it all, all he grants you is his presence as usual, and the comfort that at least he’s there, and, hopefully, listening.

You don’t know how to break through his silence - even after nearly your entire lives knowing one another, you’re at a loss. But there’s something there, nagging at the back of your mind, that you’ve been wanting to discuss forever, perhaps much longer than you’ve even been made aware of it, and in the midnight haze, you find yourself blurting out the words before thinking.

“Do you believe in soulmates?”

The quiet clicking stops, and for the first time all night, you’re met with real silence.

You sit up immediately in his bed, shocked at his actual physical reaction to your words, the first time he’s seemed to acknowledge them at all. Your eyes are widened as you gaze intensely at him sitting across from you at his desk, searching his face for any indication of what he’s thinking.

“Soulmates?” he says, rather quietly, and you find yourself letting out a breath you hadn’t known you had been holding in.

“I’m not sure why I asked,” you say, borderline frantic as you struggle to explain your complex and confusing thought process, “I was just thinking-”

“Because of us,” he says with certainty, and the beginnings of a smile work their way onto your face.

Because of you, because when you couldn’t find the words, he was there, explaining your thoughts perfectly. You were comfortable in silence, and in the loud, chaotic atmosphere of the real world, as long as you were in each other’s presence. Because you couldn’t imagine a life without him, and even when you didn’t know what he was thinking, there wasn’t a day you didn’t want to try and figure it out.

You want to say it all, but when Kyoya looks at you, away from his work and into your eyes, you can read his face for once, and it says everything.

You’re holding his gaze, and you desperately want to keep it, so you look at him thoughtfully, chewing your bottom lip, and say, “I just feel like this matters.” You gesture between the two of you, and that smile finally works its way onto your face. “To our lives, to the universe, I’m not sure, but don’t you think it matters?”

Kyoya’s eyes are thoughtful, and you’re waiting on the edge of your seat for his response. You’re grateful for even this tiny moment when you get to pick his brain, see inside the wonderful mind of your best friend, who often keeps the most important parts of himself locked away.

“I don’t believe in soulmates,” he says finally, but you urge him on with your curious gaze. You know there’s more to his pessimistic attitude, and you’re patiently waiting for him to share all of it. “I don’t care what the universe wants of me, or what its plans are. None of that matters. What matters is you,” he says, and your heart skips a beat as he points to you, and then back to himself, “and me, and I’m never letting that go.”

You don’t know how to answer him, but the silence that follows isn’t uncomfortable, it’s reassuring, and you feel as if you’re sighing in unison, knowing your thoughts align with one another.

Even as Kyoya returns to his work, softly clicking away at his keyboard, you don’t mind, especially when he moves his station over to his bed beside you, just close enough that your knees are touching and you’re in the perfect position to rest your head on his shoulder.

The silence is filled by the tapping of his keys and your soft voice in Kyoya’s ear as you watch his work, and your newfound knowledge that, universe be damned, you were never letting this go.

#500 follower celebration #kyoya ootori #kyoya x reader #kyoya ootori x reader #ouran high school host club #ouran fanfic #ouran x reader #kyoya x you #kyoya ootori x you #ohshc kyoya #ohshc x reader #ouran kyoya #kyoya fanfic

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samwise-writes · 3 years

Text

Stability

It has been a very long time since I wrote anything not school related. This came out of a discussion I had with some friends on Discord.

Reader reflects on their relationship with Kirishima and presently gives and receives physical comfort. Kirishima is a pro hero, as such, aged-up! Self-edited, so if there are mistakes, I apologize!

CW: Mentions of Social anxiety and panic attacks

Cross posted on my AO3!

If there was one thing that you could always count on, it was the fact that whenever possible, your boyfriend was going to be touching you.

In one way or another, Kirishima found a way to always have a hand on you when you were together. It wasn’t a possessive thing or a control issue; rather, he did it out of the subconscious desire to ensure that you were okay at all times, and as a self-grounding measure for himself. It was something that the two of you had become known for in the public eye – always “joined at the hip” was one of the latest claims made by a media article you had scrolled past on your news feed.

You knew that there were those who disapproved how often you two would hold hands, or link arms, or even throw your arms around each other (Kiri with his arm over your shoulders and yours comfortably wrapped around his waist) in public, but you didn’t care. You learned from the beginning of your relationship that Kiri relished physical touch, and with it being one of your own love languages, you also embraced it wholeheartedly. The displays of affection in public weren’t for the benefit of others anyway – in fact, it started as a means to prevent your social anxiety from getting the better of you.

Kirishima’s status as a Pro hero came with many responsibilities – one of your least favourites being the public appearances that he would have to make. They often involved large groups of people and very few chances for you to get away to recenter yourself. The very first event you attended with your boyfriend - a mere month into dating - was nearly disastrous. It was some sort of gala charity event and it was very much out of your comfort zone - but you agreed to attend with him because you wanted to support him. It was barely an hour after you had arrived that you felt the effects of the crowded room, flashing cameras, and the mindless small talk starting to bear down on you. Your hands had started shaking, and your breathing had become much shallower. Looking around in the most discreet manner you could manage, you tried to find somewhere you could run off to, to get control of yourself before your anxiety became a full-blown panic attack. Your breathing became more rapid as you realized there was nowhere for you to go.

It wasn’t something that you had had a full discussion with Kirishima about yet, so when he stepped behind you and slowly (as though to let you know that he was there) wrapped his arms around your waist, chest pressed against your back, and spoke softly in your ear “just breath with me, Sweetheart,” you almost burst into tears, so grateful for your boyfriend’s seemingly unending awareness.

When you asked him about how he knew, later, he gave a one-shoulder shrug and a crooked smile, stating simply that he had “worked with someone with social anxiety and learned what to look for.”

Since that day he had always kept you close when you went out together.

You gave a deep sigh, rolling your eyes at another article that made observations about your relationship with the Pro Hero and shut off your phone. Beside you, there was movement as Kiri rolled over, blindly patting around the bed in an attempt to find you. His hand finally landed on your waist and a small squeak was forced from you when he dragged you closer to him, your back once again pressed flush against his chest. You tried to flip over to face him, but he whined in your ear and you playfully tapped the arm that trapped you against him.

“Kiri!”

“You’re not goin’ anywhere,” he mumbled in your hair. You could hear the smile in his voice.

“I’m not going anywhere, 'm just trying to look at my pretty boyfriend.”

You snicker as his arm quickly loosens, and you take the opportunity to flip yourself over, tangling your legs with his.

You look up at the man in front of you and gently push the strands of his hair that have fallen loose in his sleep, up and out of his face. He hums happily at the feeling, and you let your hand come to rest on his neck.

“Good morning, pretty boy.”

His eyes blink open, and a smile spreads across his face.

“G’morning, Sweetheart.” He tightens his arms around you again, and pulling you in closer, tucks you under his chin and you nuzzle into his chest arm wrapping around his waist, fingers gently tracing some scars that he had running up his right side to the planes of his back.

“Didn’t hear you come in last night” You mumble quietly.

“Didn’t wanna wake you up, I came in really late…” He paused and you could feel the muscles in his arms flex around you as though he was trying to pull you closer still. “There was a situation.”

You could practically feel the weight of his words. You gently pressed a kiss to his sternum, knowing that whatever had happened had left an impression on the red-maned hero. Usually, he would have launched into a detailed account of his night of heroic deeds, but this morning he remained quiet. You knew when that happened… things had become ugly. You’ve learned that in these moments, Kiri just needed you to be there with him. To ground him, just as he has grounded you in your moments of panic.

And how could you possibly say no to him?

Your hand alters its course of tracing his scars and instead comes to rest on his shoulder, thumb absently rubbing circles into the muscle.

He releases a small breath and presses his lips to the crown of your head.

“I am so happy you are here with me,” you affirmed to him, and his hand squeezes your side in silent acknowledgement. He knows what your words really mean: Thank you for coming back to me alive.

“I love you,” The words are a whisper against the top of your head.

You smile into his chest, “I love you, too.”

#kirishima #kirishima x y/n #bnha eijiro kirishima #kirishima eijirou #fluff #angst #mha fluff #my hero academia #reader insert #Kirishima x reader #Kirishima fluff #pro hero kirishima #My writing #one shot #Red Riot

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jayz4dayz · 3 years

Note

How about 11, 24, 26 or 43? Just any of these is fine.

First, I apologize that this took so long, but I do hope it was worth the wait! Second, there ARE references to self harm in this, so here is your warning.

Prompt 24: “You’re the only one I trust to do this.”

Trust

Yuriko was just barely able to hold Midari up as they stumbled into her dorm room. Her body was searing against Yuriko’s, even though her clothes. That wasn’t a good sign and Yuriko was eternally grateful she found Midari when she did. Any longer and Midari may have been needed to be hospitalized.

The Beautification Officer was burning up with a high fever, but somehow still able to gain a sense of her surroundings. She looked irritated and to an extent, embarrassed. Yuriko knew why; Midari didn’t want to appear weak. Yuriko didn’t once consider her to be weak, even when she collapsed in the hallway from sheer exhaustion. Her stubbornness was both a blessing and a curse; in this case it only made things worse.

Thankfully, Yuriko found her and was able to help her up so she could walk her back to her dorm in hopes that she’d be able to rest. She didn’t know why Midari decided to press on that day regardless of her high temperature and raw throat from coughing all night. Perhaps it was a masochist thing, but Yuriko had a feeling it wasn’t. There must have been another reason why Midari didn’t stay in bed when anyone could see that she was sick as a dog and needed to sleep.

“Bed,” Midari murmured, weakly pointing to the correct direction.

Yuriko huffed in frustration. “How could you be so stupid? You’re burning up! Even you should know to stay in bed if you have a fever!”

“I’m not in the mood to be nagged like you’re my mother, Yuriko,” Midari groaned. “My head is killing me as it is.”

“You should be thankful I found you and brought you here,” Yuriko flushed with embarrassment.

Midari shrugged as they reached her bedroom. “I guess that’s true. I feel like fucking shit now. It’s gotten worse since this morning. Maybe you’re right about staying in bed.”

“Of course I’m right,” Yuriko rolled her eyes and helped Midari sit on the edge of her bed. “I know this must be hard for you.”

“Eh? Hard?” Midari raised a brow at her before letting out a wicked cough. “What are you talking about?”

“Allowing someone to assist you since you’re so reluctant about not letting someone help you when you need it,” Yuriko snickered jokingly.

“I do that because I don’t wanna be dead weight to someone,” Midari admitted. “Plus, I’m not a people person. I don’t really trust people much unless I genuinely like them.”

Yuriko frowned. Midari rarely admitted things like that and Yuriko suspected she only said it because she was in such a weakened state to begin with. If it was true that she didn’t trust people… why did she trust Yuriko so easily?

Though, Yuriko couldn’t deny she had been growing closer to the one-eyed girl as of recently. Call it fate or “sheer absolute boredom” as Midari claimed it to be, the two had started talking much more and actually seemed to enjoy each other’s company.

It was strange. Of all the people Yuriko thought she would form a bond with, Midari Ikishima wasn’t at the top of her list. Yet there was something so alluring about the Beautification Officer all the same. She stood out in the crowd of faces at Hyakkaou. She was known by practically everyone, but at the same time she wasn’t considered to be popular so much as she was feared. Many of the students saw her as a freak. Yuriko however… found her to be intriguing. Surprisingly, talking to her was as easy as breathing.

“Thanks for uh… getting me here,” Midari swallowed her pride and said quietly.

Yuriko nodded. “You’re very welcome.”

“What are you gonna do now?” Midari asked softly, her voice scratchy from the coughing.

“Stay here, of course,” Yuriko chuckled.

It wasn’t like Yuriko had anything better to do anyway. All club activities were finished for the day and it was a weekend which granted her freedom to do what she pleased. Although many wouldn't want to spend their weekend tending to someone who was I'll, Yuriko really didn't mind.

Midari wrinkled her nose in confusion. “You’ll be bored out of your mind.”

“I won't,” Yuriko assured her. “I want to help.”

“Why?” Midari scoffed.

“Believe it or not, I actually consider you to be my friend,” Yuriko murmured. “And… I care about you.”

“Well that’s sweet,” Midari smirked. “And I guess I can’t force you to stay or go, so do what ya want.”

Yuriko knew that was Midari’s way of telling her thanks. She watched as Midari slowly stood up and walked over to place her revolver on her nightstand before plopping back down onto her mattress, lifting one of the covers over her.

“Um, Ikishima-san, shouldn’t you perhaps strip down a little so you don’t increase your body temperature?” Yuriko asked.

“Hm, I’m too exhausted to take off my uniform right now and I've got the chills,” Midari retorted tiredly. “You want me to rest, so I am.”

“I don’t think it’s wise to leave so much clothing on though,” Yuriko insisted. "Take off one layer at the very least. I assure you, it will help."

"Hm, you're really eager to strip me down, huh? Shouldn't you at least buy me dinner first?" Midari playfully flirted.

“I’ll leave the room if you need time to unclothe," Yuriko ignored her comment.

Midari sat up and winced, holding her head. “Don’t bother; I don’t give a shit. Actually, why don’t you give me a hand since you're so insistent?”

Yuriko blushed, though she didn’t know why. “A-alright then.”

"Just do me a favor when you do," Midari requested when Yuriko walked over to her.

Yuriko raised a confused brow. "Okay?"

"Don't stare too much," Midari huffed.

Yuriko stared at her in slight confusion. Why would she stare? She wasn't rude like that, nor was there really anything of interest for her to stare at. Nothing she would ever admit to, that is.

"Why would I stare?" Yuriko chuckled uneasily.

Midari sighed. "I have some scars from my past that I don't like people seeing."

This wasn't all that surprising to hear considering Midari's line of work and responsibility in the academy. Or maybe these scars were there for a completely different reason; self inflicted perhaps. That may explain why Midari didn't want anyone seeing or knowing about them. It was a rather taboo topic after all.

"I understand and I won't stare," Yuriko nodded. "But we really need to get your body temperature to go down."

Midari complied, slowly standing up. Yuriko looked down at Midari's red, sleeveless shirt and looked back up at her, asking for permission. Midari nodded tiredly, sluggishly lifting her arms up while Yuriko helped lift the shirt off of her. Next came the buttoned up shirt which Yuriko quickly undid each button.

Yuriko removed the article of clothing off of Midari's body, feeling the intense heat radiating off of her. Her eyes locked onto the one-eyed girl's basic purple bra, slowly looking down to see her well toned stomach. She wasn't sure to be surprised to see that Midari had abs or the large, noticeable, faded scars across them. Midari said she had scars, but Yuriko recognized these to be cutting scars. She had no doubt that these were indeed self inflicted. They were too intricate; too close together to be accidental.

Instantly, Yuriko felt her heart swell with sorrow. It made her realize just how little she really knew about the Beautification Officer. It was true that the two had grown close as friends, but even then Yuriko couldn't say she truly knew Midari and what occurred in her past.

Breaking free from her thoughts, she felt Midari grab her hand and guide it toward her scars. Her hand was pressed against the hot skin and her entire body heated up as Midari allowed her to touch her abs. Midari had her eye closed with an almost pained expression, as if being touched hurt her.

"W-why?" Yuriko stuttered, her face turning intensely red by this point.

"You looked like you wanted to touch them," Midari teased, her tone unusually soft. "Besides, I knew it would fluster you and your reaction didn't disappoint."

"No... no I meant... why are you letting me?" Yuriko asked, looking away in embarrassment.

"You’re the only one I trust to do this," Midari admitted quietly.

Trust. That was one thing Midari rarely felt and Yuriko knew it better than anyone. The only person Midari truly trusted was herself, or so she thought. Yuriko now questioned if she underestimated how Midari felt about her.

She looked up to see Midari's cheeks dusted with red and she knew that wasn't from the fever. She too was flustered by this, but wouldn't easily admit it. It made Yuriko's heart flutter, causing her to have an overwhelming desire to lean forward and close the distance between them. But now wasn't the time.

"I see," Yuriko murmured shyly. "Are you comfortable sharing why these scars are here?"

Midari thought back to when she first placed a blade onto her skin, soon creating a wound that would become the first of many cutting scars. She didn't do it to punish herself or because she felt like she deserved it like a lot of people would feel when they did something like that. Her problem at the time was feeling anything at all.

The pain from the blade allowed her to feel something when she struggled so desperately to feel anything. She was so out of tune with her own emotions that she was beginning to struggle feeling anything physically as well. Every time she cut into her skin, she was finally able to feel. Granted, it was severe pain which in itself wasn't the best feeling, but to her it was better than not feeling anything at all. It gave her something to hold onto, knowing she was still able to feel something albeit it was pain. It reminded her that she was still alive and helped her figure out what was real and what wasn't.

It was the darkest time in her life.

Midari shook her head. "Sorry, I'm not ready to talk about that. Not yet at least."

"And that's alright," Yuriko nodded in understanding. "You will tell me when your ready or not at all if you cannot. I will respect that."

"That's good," Midari agreed, then giving the shorter girl a seductive expression that caused Yuriko's blush to travel to the tips of her ears. "Now, are you gonna finish stripping me, princess?~"

"W-why do you have to say it like that?" Yuriko stuttered.

Midari weakly cackled which prompted a coughing fit.

"Because there's no better way to say it!" She choked out.

"You make it sound so lewd," Yuriko grumbled, placing her hands on the hem of Midari's skirt before gently tugging it down. "Then again, I don't expect anything less of you."

Midari shrugged and stepped out of her skirt. "Can I rest now?"

"Of course," Yuriko confirmed.

Midari gave a subtle nod before crawling back into bed, now covering her body fully with her bed sheets. She felt hot and sticky yet at the same time her body had the chills; it was a very odd sensation and she didn't like it. It was uncomfortable. Thankfully, she was able to fall asleep within minutes, completely forgetting about the uncomfortable sensation.

Yuriko sat down on the edge of the bed, watching the exhausted girl's chest rise and fall as she slept. She shook her head, trying to ignore the feeling in her heart to join Midari and wrap her arms around her, assuring that this sickness would soon pass and that she wasn't alone. Would that have been such a bad thing?

Midari woke up to the feeling of something damp and cool press against her forehead. She slowly opened her eyes to see Yuriko with a wet cloth in her hand. Midari had almost forgotten Yuriko was still here, but seeing her warmed her heart nonetheless. It's not like she knew anyone else who would do this for her.

The one-eyed girl glanced over at her clock. It was close to midnight. She had been asleep for roughly six hours, but still felt exhausted and like she could sleep for another six hours. Her symptoms hadn't worsened at least, but they didn't necessarily subside either.

"How are you feeling?" Yuriko asked softly.

Midari sluggishly sat up. "Not much better, honestly. The cold cloth feels nice though."

"I took your temperature earlier. Your fever went down slightly which is a good sign," Yuriko smiled encouragingly.

"You know, you didn't have to stay here this whole time," Midari commented, laying back down.

Technically Yuriko didn't. At some point when Midari was out cold, she left her dorm to go purchase some medication as well as bring a novel from her own dorm room. She wasn't planning on just leaving Midari there alone for the night when she was barely able to stand up on her own.

Yuriko nodded. "I know I didn't, but I wanted to. So don't worry about it."

Midari grinned weakly, lightly tapping Yuriko's arm. "Hmmm, you've got it bad for me, don't ya?"

Yuriko's eyes widened, not knowing how to respond to that. Midari was flirtatious by nature, but somehow she flirted with Yuriko far more often than she did with anyone else.

Yuriko said nothing, but the blush that formed in her cheeks spoke for her. Did she like Midari? Platonically she did without a doubt. Romantically however... that was a complicated answer that she didn't even know herself.

She brushed the thought to the side, knowing Midari wasn't in the right frame of mind at the moment. She looked over at the cough syrup she placed on the nightstand earlier. Midari followed her gaze and scowled.

"You're crazier than I am if you think I'm gonna drink that nasty shit," Midari said warningly, turning over in bed once Yuriko grabbed the bottle.

"It's going to help you get better," Yuriko huffed. "Please don't be difficult."

"I'm telling you right now there's no way you're gonna get me to drink that," Midari grumbled. "I'd rather die."

Yuriko ignored her. She looked over the directions and poured out the correct dosage of cough syrup into the measuring cap. She could smell how bitter it was and understood why Midari didn't want to drink it; she'd honestly have a hard time consuming it herself.

"Just grin and bear it," Yuriko suggested, holding the cap up to Midari's lips.

Midari shook her head childishly. "Why? It's gross."

Yuriko sighed in frustration. "Please, Midari. For me."

Midari rolled her eye in compliance. How could she say no to that? She allowed Yuriko to pour the bitter liquid into her mouth. Midari's senses may have been weakened, but she was still able to faintly taste the disgusting medication and wanted to gag from the taste.

"Thank you," Yuriko smiled slightly. "I think you need more rest now."

"Yeah," Midari nodded in agreement. "And so do you. You look exhausted. Maybe it's time for you to go back to your dorm."

Yuriko was exhausted. She rarely stayed up past ten in the evening, let alone stay up till midnight. Her eyes were heavy and she wanted to sleep, but didn't want to leave. If she could just stay awake for the night to make sure Midari's condition didn't worsen. She knew if it did, the girl wouldn't go to the hospital to get the medical treatment she would need on her own. So Yuriko decided to stay. Just in case.

"No, I'm staying," Yuriko shook her head.

"I don't have an extra bed and the futon is too small to sleep on," Midari pointed out. "Not to mention the floor would also be fucking uncomfortable to sleep on."

Yuriko shrugged. "Then I'll just stay awake."

"Yeah, no," Midari sniffled and sat up slightly. "If you're gonna spend the night here, then you're gonna sleep here."

"Where would I sleep? You said it yourself that there's nowhere I can," Yuriko questioned in confusion.

Midari smirked, patting the spot in bed next to her. Yuriko's heart nearly stopped. She had never shared a bed with anyone before and there was something about sharing a bed alone with Midari that seemed rather... intimate.

"If you're cool with sharing my bed, then you can stay," Midari said tiredly.

"I don't have my night clothes with me," Yuriko muttered shyly.

Midari raised a brow at her. "Okay, and? Just borrow some of my clothes for the night."

"O-oh," Yuriko hummed, not expecting that. "Thank you."

Yuriko stared at her reflection in the mirror. Midari's clothes didn't fit her, yet they were comfortable. Secretly, she enjoyed seeing herself in Midari's clothes. There was something about being engulfed in Midari's scent that felt comforting. Natural, even.

She left the bathroom and noticed Midari sitting up in her bed, inspecting her revolver. Midari still looked exhausted and pale, but she appeared to be returning to her normal self. She must have gotten out of bed at some point to put on a night shirt as well.

"They're a little big on me," Yuriko said quietly, gripping the hem of her borrowed black shirt.

Midari looked up and smiled slightly. "Don't worry, ya look cute in em'."

Yuriko felt her cheeks heat up from the comment. "T-thanks. They're a lot... softer than I imagined."

"I normally don't wear clothes to bed, so that probably explains why they're like that," Midari explained with a shrug. "Alright, now get over here. I wanna go back to sleep."

Yuriko didn't respond and instead climbed into bed next to her. She could feel the heat from Midari's body from where she was, though it wasn't uncomfortable. She laid on her back as Midari shifted her position to look at her. Awkwardly, Yuriko slowly turned her head to see Midari smirking at her.

"What?" Yuriko asked uneasily.

"Nothin'," Midari laughed. "You're just pretty is all."

Yuriko smiled and rolled her eyes. "Sleep. You're starting to talk strangely."

Midari yawned. "Whatever you say. Thanks for staying with me. And... taking care of me. It wasn't so bad."

Yuriko had never seen this soft side of Midari before. Perhaps it was due to her sickness or tired state. Whatever it was, Yuriko liked it. Even the most feral beasts could be tamed by the right person or situation, it seemed.

Yuriko stiffened when she felt an arm wrap around her waist and Midari nuzzled into the crook of her neck. The one eyed girl had already fallen asleep and Yuriko had never seen her look so peaceful or content before. Yuriko came to the realization that Midari would do this with no one else except for her. She truly trusted her, even when she was in a weakened state.

No, this wasn't so bad at all.

#midari x yuriko #yuridari #midari ikishima #yuriko nishinotouin #kakegurui

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dameronology · 4 years

Text

things we lost in the fire {obi-wan x reader}

summary: on a slow morning in tatooine, you and obi-wan reflect on how lucky you are to still have each other

warnings: swearing, angst, mentions of death

another obi fic based on a bastille song?? more likely than you think!! but i swear, despite, all the warnings, this isn’t going to rip your heart out completely

enjoy,

- val xx

Things had never been darker.

The stars still shone at night, silvers and steels and greys against the canvas of the midnight sky. The sun still came up everyday - doubly so on Tatooine. You woke up every morning to the twin suns blaring down on your new home, illuminating the place with a hauntingly golden glow. For a place that seemed to be so fundamentally built on black and white beliefs - good and bad, right and wrong, light and dark - the world seemed too bright.

The stars shone at night. The sun still came up every day. The world seemed bright - but things had never seemed darker.

You missed the life you had - no, you didn’t just miss it. You yearned for it. You ached for it. You wanted to wake up one of these particularly hot Tatooine mornings to find everything was just a dream; that Anakin was alive, that Padme was alive, that you still had a temple to come home to. Everything you’d ever loved had been thrown into the fiery pits of Mustafar, left to burn and turn to ash.

Well, not everything.

You still had Obi-Wan Kenobi and you thanked the stars everyday for it.

It was clear that he was hurting too - there was always a tinge of pain in his sarcastic quips, a sense of tiredness in his eyes whenever they creased with laughter. He was doing it for you, staying strong for you. He was holding you both up - after all, helping people was all he knew. Even when he’d lost everything, that didn’t change.

Searching for positives was hard and after desperately seeking, you’d found a few.

You were no longer sneaking around, so you could walk hand-in-hand through the winding streets of your local market together. You could lay-in every morning, not worried about meetings or missions or operations. The pressure to be a good Jedi was off and now you could just be together. It wasn’t much - but at the same time, it was everything.

It was a warm morning on Tatooine; the suns were high in the sky, even though it was barely 7AM. You were sprawled out on your mattress, sheets tangled in your legs from where you’d kicked them off in the night. The sunlight was streaming through the cracks in the curtains, showering you in a warm glow as you lazily stretched. You rolled over on your side, eyes falling on the half-awake man next to you.

Obi-Wan’s eyes were vacantly staring at the ceilings, lids heavy with post-sleep tiredness. Having sensed that you were awake, he lazily reached a hand out towards you, covering yours where it was splayed out on the mattress. You tangled your fingers with his, lighting squeezing his hand.

‘You’re thinking about him, aren’t you?’ You quietly murmured.

‘Always.’ He whispered back.

You felt that - you really felt that. Anakin was always on your mind; not Darth Vader, not the twisted, dark person he’d become. Anakin. The cocky Jedi, the one who you’d called your best friend for years. He hadn’t died in the physical sense but emotionally and mentally, he was long gone. He’d gone insane trying to protect the woman he loved and he wasn’t coming back.

You didn’t necessarily understand. You never could, but you were able resonate with his innate desire to stop at nothing for Padme. You would have crossed the galaxy ten times over and back to protect the man you loved. The panic you felt in the moments after Order 66, not knowing if Obi-Wan had survived was going to stick with you for a long time.

The way you held each other, after colliding into one another in the middle of a jet? The way you cried, relief washing over you despite the fact that every you’d ever known was gone? That’s when you knew that you were never going to stray away from him again. Everything you’d argued about, everything you’d ever worried about or bickered about suddenly seemed so menial. It was the peak definition of not knowing what you had until you’d almost lost it.

But you hadn’t lost him - you’d got lucky. He’d got lucky too.

‘I miss him too.’ You said. You softly brushed a few strands of hair out of his face, your free hand still holding his. ‘And I hate to say it, but there’s nothing we can do.’

You hated having to be the voice of reason - that had always been Obi-Wan’s job. It felt like a bit of a dick move to remind him that you could never return to your former life, but reality was harsh. It was a goddamned bitch. The acceptance of the situation had hit you like a ton of bricks and you couldn’t make it any easier for Obi-Wan. You wished that you could; that you could take his pain away and turn it into something better. All you could do was guide him through it in the same way he’d done for you every time that you’d been hurting throughout the years.

‘I know.’ Obi-Wan finally turned to look at you, a forced smile playing on his lips. ‘I can’t help but think would what have happened if-’

‘- don’t think about the ifs.’ You cut him off. ‘Try as you might but you can’t change the past.’

‘I wish I could.’

You leant forward, pressing a kiss to his cheek. ‘I know.’

With that, you shuffled out of bed, reaching down to grab a shirt. You pulled it over your head and slipped on your shoes, peaking over your shoulder at him as you did. You tried to give him a reassuring smile, but it faltered slightly.

For once, you were trying to be the strong one. He had been your driving force for so long, the reason that you’d got out of bed in the morning. If you hadn’t had him after everything that had happened? You didn’t know where you’d be. You probably owed it to him to take the weight of everything for once.

‘I’m gonna go make some caff.’ You said.

‘I’ll be out in a moment.’

You stood up, the footsteps of your unlaced boots echoing off the walls as you headed through to the kitchen. Your dwelling was humble; big enough for both of you (and more, if that was what the future held). It felt like home for no other reason than the fact Obi-Wan was there with you.

After assembling a semi-decent cup of caff, you kicked open your front door and headed outside. There was a small bench at the front of the house, overlooking the village ahead. The early morning sun was beating down on you, the air fresh and untainted. The day felt new - full of hope, despite everything.

Pulling your knees up to your chest, you cupped the warm drink between your hands. The road ahead of you was still empty - most people around here were older, retired or out of employment. They didn’t rise until much later in the morning - you wished you were capable of that, but years as a Jedi had drilled early starts into your system.

‘I don’t always think about the past.’

The sound of Obi-Wan’s voice announced his present.

‘Yeah?’ You replied, tilting your head to face him. He was stood in the doorway, leaning against the frame. He had a cup of caff in one hand and a book in the other. ‘So what do you think about?’

‘You.’

Tossing the book to the doorstep with a dusty thump, the Jedi moved to take a set next to you. He reached his arm out towards you and without having to say anything, you dropped your feet to the floor and fell into his side. He pressed a kiss to your temple, hand gently carding through your hair.

It was so domestic - so simple, so suburban and ordinary. But, behind your small gestures of affection and words of love, there were galaxies of grief. The place you were now might have seemed peaceful and quiet but the journey to get there had been anything but. Between you, you’d experienced enough loss and enough pain to last ten lifetimes.

‘That’s a grand statement.’ You shot back.

‘A grand statement for a grand person.’

‘Oh, you always have been a sweet talker.’ You chuckled.

‘I mean it.’ He replied. ‘I don’t say often enough how grateful I am for you.’

You peered up at him, a small sigh escaping your lips. ‘You don’t have to.’

‘I should though.’

‘And so should I.’ You shot back. ‘You have done everything for me since the day we met, Obi. I owe you so much-’

‘- you don’t owe me anything, darling.’ He softly murmured. ‘Simply staying by my side has put me in a lifetime of debt.’

You almost laughed at the thought of doing anything else. Staying with Obi-Wan had never even been a question - you were already packing your bags before he could even finish saying I’m moving to Tatooine. Neither of you had any idea where you were going, nor what you were doing. But, just like everything else, you were going to figure it out together.

‘We’ll call it even.’ You leant up to kiss him, lips brushing against his.

‘I talk about what I’ve lost.’ He murmured, forehead resting on yours. ‘Anakin, Padme, the Jedi.’

That was the first time he’d said his name his everything had happened. It hurt - maker, it hurt - but the proud look on your face when it happened was almost enough to make it worth it.

‘But I never talk about what I still have.’ He added. ‘You.’

‘You don’t need to talk about it.’ You shook your head. ‘I know the feeling.’

‘You do?’

‘Of course.’ You replied. ‘I think about that day all the time and all I can remember is that you were my first concern. I could only focus on finding you, on making sure that you were okay.’

‘You mean everything to me.’ Obi-Wan admitted. ‘You always have but even more so now.’

He hadn’t mean to become attached to you, even less so to indulge his addiction. Years ago, when you were both still sworn to a code, it had been hard. Choosing you over the very Order that he’d committed has life too had been a struggle - but now? He’d never been more grateful that he’d chosen you.

‘It’s the same for you.’ You offered him a watery smile. ‘Guess we’re kinda stuck together, huh?’

‘Even if you strayed to the other side of the galaxy, we still have a Force connection.’ He reminded you. ‘So yes - I suppose we are stuck together.’

Obi-Wan was your backbone; the glue that held you together these days. It was easy to look at him as though he hung the stars in the sky - and as far as you were concerned, he did. You were living in dark times but he felt like the light at the end of the tunnel.

And, little did you know, but he felt the same. Having you by his side meant more to you than you’d ever realised. There was one specific second on the day of Order 66 that he held onto: the moment you met again, the moment that you tossed yourself towards him, not caring about whether or not he was going to catch you. That was when, despite everything, that he felt like things were going to be okay.

The stars still shone at night. The sun still came up everyday. It felt like you were the reason why.

tags: @cherieboba @valkyriesandbrokenhalos @cptnrex501 @thespareoom

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vickylamore · 3 years

Text

Enemy Of The Wolves [2]

TW: Language, Violence, Mentions of deaths

Pairing: [slight] Mark Lee x Female Reader, NCT OT23 [Mostly platonic] x Female Reader

Genre: Action, Military Style AU, Organized crime AU, Mafia AU, Angst and Fluff

(2/?) Part 1 Part 3

Word Count: 5k

[Main Masterlist] [Enemy Of The Wolves - Mini Masterlist]

Summary: Not only were you one of the few females to be apart of Neo Culture Technology’s underground organized crime association, you were also the only and top ranked female captain in the entire industry. Even if you worked in a majority male industry, you earned respect from nearly every one of your male counterparts. All but one. That one not only exposed your name to one of NCT’s worst and most vicious rivals but signed NCT’s entire demise. Only one group will prevail, the other left in ruins with no chance of recovery.

Notes: The way it’s 1am and I know I wont finish editing til 2am is sending me into orbit. This took.. a while to update for various reasons but here it is!

Disclaimer: Please remember that this is a work of fiction and solely fiction. Any of the idols written and mentioned in this series would never take part in these actions, let alone stand by/condone them. The idols mentioned are merely used as characters and in no way am I saying that this is how they act in real life.

“Not you telling Jisung that him punching another student was justified.” You deadpanned as soon as you arrived in his office where most members were, Yuta closed the door behind you as you looked at Taeyong. “Really? That it was justified?”

“‘Hello Taeyong, great to see you again Taeyong, I missed you Taeyong, how are you and Neo Culture doing, Taeyong?’” He exasperated, setting down the documents that were once in his hands to look at you, an irritating smirk on his lips. “Not one of the following has come out of your mouth.”

“Of course not,” you scoffed, moving your hair out of the face, “who do you think I am, an angel?”

“Far from it.”

You looked at Johnny with an annoyed gaze and mumbled, “exactly my point.” You groaned and threw your head back, exhausting seeping into your veins. “And you wouldn’t believe what happened in the lounge…” you turned to Yuta and asked, “my head feels like it’s about to explode so please fill them in on what happened.”

“Lee Jihoon was being disrespectful, got on her nerves, disrespected her again, it attracted a crowd of students and she got fed up, went all commando on him and all his friends, told them to meet in her office in thirty minutes and now she’s here.” Yuta summarized what happened in about thirty seconds.

“Yeah, pretty much.” You shrugged your shoulders.

“It was bound to happen,” Doyoung spun in his chair to face you, a tired look crossing his features. “Him and his little friend group have been getting on my nerves ever since you left.”

“Speaking of which,” you said while looking back at Taeyong, “what do you mean the punch was justified?”

“It was.”

“It was though,” Jaehyun supported Taeyong, a small laugh escaping his lips, “it was funnier when Jihoon tried playing the victim in front of us. Oooh, the look on his face when he realized we saw everything.”

“How about his ‘friends’?” Questioned Jungwoo, who sent you a small wave, “his friends tried defending him too. But yes, it was totally justified.”

“Welcome back to Neo Culture, (Y/n),” Taeil said sarcastically, “take it as welcoming since all the bad news crashed onto you.”

You were finally back home, you were finally with your family again. You weren’t away from them for a little over two months. You completed your mission, despite the altercations, and came back home safe and sound. You were happy, they were happy too- despite the fact that half of them won’t admit it. “Thank you, it feels so much better to be back.” You almost laughed at yourself, “despite everything.”

Taeyong pointed to an empty seat in between Jaehyun and Doyoung, one you gladly took as Yuta sat in between Jungwoo and Taeil. You fist-bumped Jaehyun as you sat down, taking out the USB in your pocket, sliding across the table to pass it to Taeil. You suppress a yawn despite looking exhausted.

“Report.”

“I’m doing okay, not great but not terrible. Exhausted? Yes. That nineteen-hour flight was not it, lemme tell you that.” A few of them chuckled at your words. “The mission was successful, all information acquired and secured in the USB.”

“Canada, sorry- Toronto was nice though, more or less the people than the land itself. I enjoyed it as much as I was able to on an undercover mission to wipe out the headquarters but it was okay.” You said, your mind distracting you from the heart-wrenching news about to come out. “Other than that, I’m fine, I’m alive… a few cuts and bruises but I’m okay… physically. Mentally? Not so much.” You laughed it off, yet the crippling guilt and regret settling in your chest.

“The Dragons in Canada eliminated, no other known locations, intel gained on the fallen group; all files gained on Neo Culture gained, all the information of current members in Seoul gained, one known locations of SS in South Korea; 89137 Gugandum Lake, underground mine, no traces back to Neo Culture, base burned to the floor… no survivors.” You said the last part a little quieter than the rest, which made Taeyong look at you curiously.

“What’s up?”

Yuta glanced at you, trying to figure out what got you so upset. By the time he figured it out, you were stopping tears from flooding your eyes. You hated it, you hated it with a passion. You hated your sensitive side, your emotional side, the one that cared for kids and teens. It made you more down to earth but it made you soft. You, of course, didn’t let that side of you interfere with your job but you hated the feeling inside your gut each time you came across the enemy.

To Neo Culture, they were the enemy. To you, they were the enemy but to your eyes, they were children.

“How many?” Yuta asked, his voice softer compared to before. By the short conversation you had with him while walking to the boss's office, he could tell it bothered you to the point where it was so close to breaking. The little heated moment in the D.R.E.A.M.S lounge definitely didn’t help you emotionally.

He read you like a book and uncovered what was bothering you just by one question from earlier, “how many were there (Y/n)?”

You stared at him, knowing that if you glanced at anyone else, you would cry. If you were honest, you were devastated. You hated it. You didn’t know they were there, you didn’t even know they recruited so young. The one in Korea didn’t, so why would the one in Canada do? If you had known you would’ve tried to get them out in time… but you didn’t. You wanted the feeling of zemblanity to cloud your thoughts but the more you tried to ignore the fact that you let them die, the more it was hitting you, harder with each suppressed thought.

“Eleven.” You finally said, letting a sigh escape your lips. “Eleven of them were burned alive because I didn’t know The Dragons recruited children.” The sentence hanged in the air, the reason why you were so upset was revealed. No one said a word as you closed your eyes, the screams of terror and agony filled your mind once again as you balled your fists, guilt feeling your chest. “Eleven kids, the same ages as tier nine and ten… eleven kids who I didn’t know were there burned alive all because I had the ideology that The Dragons Canada would do the same as the one in Korea; they wouldn’t recruit anyone under the age of eighteen.”

“Are you sure none of them escaped?” Taeyong asked, chin resting on his intertwined knuckles.

“The case file had counted 123 members in The Dragons. The updated files I acquired read 123 members including 11 members under eighteen…” you swallowed the lump in your throat, the agonizing burning climbing up your chest. “After the explosion, I went in to make sure that everyone was dead… I came across eleven bodies of teenagers… I know what a teen’s body looks like Taeyong.”

But you wish you hadn’t. You wish you didn’t. You wish, in that moment, you forgot what a teen’s body looked like. But you remembered. You remembered as soon as you stumbled upon the first one, then the next, then the next… the burned corpses engraved in your mind will forever haunt your nightmares.

“I’m asking for a temporary break from all overseas missions,” you asked sternly, your eyes moving to your boss, your eyes glossy and tears threatening to spill. A lump in your throat, you ran a hand over your mouth. “A few weeks, a couple of months at most. I just-”

“(Y/n),” Taeyong cut you off, stopping you from talking further. His hands were clasped together on the table, eyes empty so you wouldn’t be able to decipher any emotion from him. “Ask granted.” you met his eyes as he nodded, understanding what you needed right now. He might be your boss and he might be cold and ruthless, but he was your brother, he understood why you were asking.

Taeyong was always one of the few people you would turn to in desperate need. It was always him, Kun, Mark and Lucas. Taeyong was the one to recruit you, the one to give you shelter, the one to give you the position you have today as Captain. He proved that women could be soldiers with you, that women could be just as ruthless with their job and he proved that with you. He was the one you would turn to in intense mental and emotional turmoil because he understood everything just by how he created Neo Culture.

It wasn’t common for corporations to be close. There was one simple goal that was recurring in almost every organization; get the job done. It was different in the space you were practically raised in and honestly speaking, you were grateful that it could be considered a safe space for teens that were brought here at a young age. There’s a reason why NCT was huge and successful; it all started with a good foundation.

It was also rare for generals to be close with their inner circle; they were supposed to take charge, not babysit their soldiers. Taeyong somehow managed to incorporate both into one. His words will always echo in your mind; “Having a good foundation is the key to success, and I plan to use that to all of our advantage, starting with the idea of family.”

“Take the time you need, you don’t need to explain yourself.” He sent you a small smile, one that you greatly appreciated. He might be the heartless NCT boss but when the doors were closed, when he was with 127, WayV and Dream, his true nature showed; the one where he was caring, loving and warm. Where he would laugh like there’s no tomorrow, moments when he would joke around with you and everyone else. The one that wouldn’t be afraid to ask anyone for a second opinion (mainly Yuta, Kun, Taeil and Johnny) and won’t be afraid to tell anyone to talk to him if he sees them struggling.

“Do you need someone to take over your classes?”

You shook your head, your shoulders slouching in defeat. “No, no… I got my classes under control.” You look up at him, “thank you.”

“You need it,” was all he said, “go rest up back at Dream’s dorm. I’ll let Mark know you’ll be there soon, right after your discussion with the boys in tier two.”

You nod your head then proceed to get up from your seat, everything weighing down on you at once. You keep nodding to yourself to stop yourself from breaking down, not wanting to cry in front of them. Heck, some have never seen you cry, again, only a select few and you really wanted to keep to way.

When you got up, Jaehyun got up with you to give you a hug, one that you needed for your own well being. You hugged him tightly, appreciating the act he rarely gives as he whispers, “if you need anything, you know where to find us. WayV is here too.” You nodded your head again, a small ‘okay’ leaving your lips.

He’s never seen you so broken before, he knew you had a soft side for kids, especially the tenth tier but he didn’t blame you for being so upset. He knew you felt guilty, he knew you felt responsible for their deaths and even thought that you were the one that caused it. One side of him, the older brother, wants to tell you that it wasn’t your fault. The interrogator in him knew that telling you such things were lies because he too, knew deep down that the explosion was the cause of their deaths.

You release him from your hold, thanking him again before walking towards the door. You sighed and offered the men of 127 a small smile, one that hides all your emotions and troubles. “I’ll see you guys later.”

You still had a couple more minutes until your small meeting with the second tier boys so you decided to visit WayV. You hadn’t seen them in what felt like forever, almost six months to be exact. You missed them like crazy and you didn’t want them seeing you in an emotional mess so you decided to visit them now, right before you went back to your respective dorm.

You scanned your hand on the scanner at the end of the hall, opening the door as soon as it unlocks and, instantly, you’re met with a hug that almost knocked you backwards. You kept your balance though, clutching onto his shirt like your life depended on it. You missed him, you missed him so much. Hell, you didn’t realize just how much you missed them til right now.

“You’re back…” you muttered under your breath, tears threatening to spill from your eyes. He was one of your first students, him and Dream. And now he’s got his life together with WayV. “You’re back.”

He giggled under his breath, “you’re back too… we’ve been in Korea for almost a month and I wanted to see you again- but that doesn’t matter now, you’re here right? That’s all that counts.” You heard his voice crack the tiniest bit at the end but you didn’t point it out. You didn’t want to.

Yangyang is your only graduate student. He was in the D.R.E.A.M.S and was under your wing until you deemed he was ready to be a part of WayV. It was so hard for you to let him go, you’ve seen him grow as an individual and a teammate… you were devastated, to say the least, and now that you’re seeing him for the first time in a while.

If it wasn’t already clear, WayV was more like your best friend group, 127 was your older brothers/mentor group and Dream were your little brothers.Well, as much as they could be in the life you live and the job you did. It just happened and it fit as it was.

You pulled away and immediately baffled on your words at the sight of his hair colour. It was black, which wasn’t out of the ordinary (you’ve seen him in both black and brown before), yet he had silver-white streaks in his hair.

“You did not pull a Jason Todd.” You deadpanned, touching his hair as you glared at him, “You better not die on me, you got it?”

“How can I possibly die when I’m coding all the time?” He giggles again, pointing at your own hair.

“Okay female reserve Todd, you’re the one to talk with the ombre silver hair,” you push him lightly as you both giggle like little kids. “But it suits you, you look more like a badass than before.”

You scoff, running a hand through your hair, “I’d say the same to you, only that you now look like a badass, not before though.” You giggle as he playfully hits your shoulders, his own giggles leaving his mouth. After regaining your composure, you asked, “where’s everyone else?”

Yangyang only grabbed your arm and pulled you across the entrance before stopped when you wanted to take off your jacket and left it on the coat hanger, as well as your mask and your arm gear. Taking those off revealed your tattoos, on the right the written of NCT on it and the left; the marking of Captain for D.R.E.A.M.S. He waiting until you were done to pull you into the living room/kitchen where Kun was cooking with Sicheng, Ten was sitting on the couch furthest away from the TV, Hendery and Lucas were currently sitting in front of the TV playing Mario Kart as Xiaojun observed from a distance on the couch.

“You’ve been playing this game with Yangyang forever and you still suck!”

“Say the person who can’t drift properly.”

“You both can’t trash talk each other when you both suck,” Xiaojun laughed, adjusting his position on the couch.

“Shut up!”

Your eyes widen when both Mario Kart players tell the other to shut it. You spared a glance at Yangyang who was smiling while leaning against the doorframe. “They’re trash-talking… over Mario Kart?” You whispered.

“It’s nothing new,” he whispered back, a happy smile on his face.

“Over Mario Kart…” he shrugged his shoulders as you looked back at the tv, watching Lucas horribly losing as Hendery was way ahead of him. He suddenly picks up a blue shell but doesn’t use it. You’ve truly never facepalmed so hard in your life until now.

“Lucas, if you want a chance to win, then use the blue shell on Hendery right now, it’ll stun him for a couple seconds, which will give you enough time to catch up to him,” You quickly say and he does as he’s told, the strategy working and eventually, Lucas winning the game.

He smiled in victory as he said, “thanks (Y/n).” There’s an immediate pause after he says your name. You rolled your eyes, knowing that they all heard you talk and Lucas even mentioned your name, what’s there not to realize.

“You guys are so slow.”

“Nah for real…” you agreed with the youngest as everyone snaps their heads in your direction, smiles beaming across their faces. Hendery is the first to move, getting up and almost falling on the floor, hoping over the couch to reach you.

You’re met with his warmth, his hug, as he buries his face into your neck and you on his chest. You missed him so much too, it hurts how much you missed them. Hendery wasn’t your student per say, he was already on higher tiers compared to you when you first got to Neo Culture. But then you both waned up in the same tier, tier three and that’s when you both hit it off. He and Lucas became your best friends.

You started tearing up a bit, you weren’t going to lie. It was great seeing Hendery again, you almost forgot how amazing his hugs were too.

“I missed you so much,” he whispered in your ear, causing your heart to swell in awe. “I missed you more you idiot.”

“It’s you already insulting not even five minutes of hugging for me,” you let out a small laugh, one that’s muffled against the fabric of his shirt.

“It’s you not understanding how much I’ve missed you for me,” you whispered, tears threatening to spill.

“I hate you for making me cry.”

Hendery laughs under his breath, “honestly me too.” He pulls away, smiling softly down on you as he laughs again, it being a lot more soft this time around, “why are you crying?”

“Oh, I don’t know… it’s not like I haven't seen you or anyone here for the last six months. It's been rough okay?” You said, groaning and pressing your forehead on his shoulder, “plus I’m not crying, my eyes are sweating. It’s super hot in here, okay?”

You hear a couple laughs behind you as you turn around to see Sicheng and Kun smiling at you as well. You giggle and quickly run up to them, crushing them both into a hug. More tears spill from your eyes, the thought of missing them once again fills your mind.

“You’ve grown,” you roll your eyes at Sicheng’s comment.

“No, shut up, you can’t say that. You can’t say I’ve gotten taller when you’re literally six feet tall-”

“I think he meant matured (Y/n),” you stay silent for a moment, ignoring the way you just embarrassed yourself by assuming something.

“No words, truly, genuinely, forget it ever happened.”

They both chuckled as you released them from your hold, quickly wiping the tears from your eyes. Kun and Sicheng have seen you grow into the amazing woman you are today. Both have trained you in both the medical and weaponry field, teaching you all you need to know. You thanked them for everything and unlike 127, who baby you (some way more than others) despite the fact that you all are in the corrupted military, WayV doesn't, hence why you consider them your best friend group.

“You didn’t see me crying,” you said but let out a fit of giggles as someone grabs you from behind, spinning you around and crushing you with a hug. “If you don’t be careful Xiaojun, you’ll suffocate her before Lucas gets to her.”

“Who said I’ll let her go to Lucas?” He said sarcastically, or that’s what you want to think. You know Xiaojun, especially when it came to you, was very much clingy. Which, to anyone else, was unusual, especially for the investigator of the group but he had a lot of reasons to be.

Of course, since you all are involved in the underground activity, it’s bound for one of you to get hurt. You and Xiaojun actually didn’t start off on the right foot, you both just didn’t click. To you, he always was cold and honestly rude towards you. You didn’t really care, at the time that is. That all changed when you both were on a D.R.E.A.M.S mission and you were kidnapped by the enemy; you and twelve others. You had distracted the enemy long enough for him to escape, to get help and to rescue the rest of the lower tiers. At the time, you and he were leading that mission as you both were in the second tier (you just turned 18 and he was turning 18 in a couple of months).

He promised you that he would come back for you, the guilt was swallowing him whole as he raced his way back to base. When he had come back with reinforcements, you weren’t where he left you, and that’s what scared him the most.

He didn’t know that you were trying to take down the person behind the kidnapping, that is until he heard a gunshot. He remembered his heart bursting in thousands of pieces when he heard it and rushed his way to the location where it was heard. Of course, he wasn’t rude or cold to you for nothing, he just didn’t know how to act in front of you, someone who excelled in all her classes and was one of the strongest and smartest people he knew. So he was more upset with himself that he thought he wouldn’t get the chance to tell you how much he looked up to you before it was too late.

When he got to the locked room and found you lying on the floor, seemingly unconscious, his heart dropped. He kicked the door down and cleared the room before rushing to your side, looking for any injuries which he found, a bullet to the shoulder.

Long story short, he kept his promise and realized that he was acting horribly towards you for no reason. After you had recovered, you both became very close friends. That being said, Xiaojun is a lot more protective than the rest of WayV, Ten being the least out of the seven men.

“Hey Jun.”

“Hi (Y/n).”

He rested his chin on your head, as you pressed your head against his chest, his heartbeat thumping in your eyes. You wrapped your arms around his waist, holding onto him. It was calming, to say the least, relaxing almost. You both didn’t say anything, you didn’t need to. You just listened to the sound of his heartbeat, letting it fill your thoughts.

You didn’t want to think about how you’ll tell them about what you did. You were still very upset about what happened on your mission, you couldn’t help but feel so much guilt and hatred towards yourself but you needed to hold it in, just until you finish with your small discussion with the cinquet.

“Alright, I’m done,” you lifted your head to see who said it but you were suddenly ripped from Xiaojun’s arms and you were falling backwards on the sofa with his arms wrapped around your waist before falling down the sofa and landing on the floor.

“Lucas!” You yelled but it was muffled by his shirt when you toppled on top of him, your head laid on his chest as your arms were practically pinned against his stomach, limiting your movement and all the air leaving your body as the taller male suffocates you without it crossing his mind. “Xuxi-”

“Lucas, you’re suffocating her,” you heard Hendery complain as Xiaojun scoffs from where you used to be. “And this is why I didn’t want him hugging her. He isn’t going to let go.”

“Of course not, I haven’t seen her in decades.”

“I mean, duh,” you chuckled, “we haven’t been alive for more than three, barely passing the two mark.” You get back up and kick him in the thigh, “that’s for tackling me like a linebacker dumbass.”

“Tennie.”

“Don’t ever call me that again you bitch,” you laughed and gave him a hug when he walked over to you, a smirk on his face. “I’m being serious, what a horrible nickname.”

“It’s cute.”

“It’s horrid, disgusting, pitiful,” whacking you on top of your head, he acted offended while pulling away, “I can’t believe you’d treat me this way, after everything I’ve done for you.”

Ten was your trainer when you first got to Neo Culture, teaching you everything you know from hand to hand combat to weapons to large arms. Maybe he’s the reason as to why your personality resembles his too, you used to hang around him all the time.

With the time passing and catching up with the boys, you realized that it was time to talk to your students in tier two. You weren’t dreading the conversation but you definitely wanted to avoid it as much as possible since you just got back.

“I actually gotta go, as much as I don't want to,” you sighed as you moved away from Lucas’s hold, a small frown on his face. God, you didn't want to leave them already especially since you just got here but you needed to resolve the issue with your second tier students. “I need to resolve some issues with some of my students.”

“But you just got here,” Yangyang protested, his back facing you as he surveilled the food on the countertop.”"Since when are your students more important than me?”

“Screw the kids, just stay here,” you rolled your eyes at Ten, playfully hitting him on the shoulder as he pushed his glasses further up his nose. “I'm not joking; they should be fine. Plus, you taught them how to fight and you learned from the best; me.”

“You both are being selfish,” you say as you shake and turn to the youngest of the group. “And I never said they were more important, which technically they are, but I got my priorities sorted out.” You started walking towards the entrance of the living room.

“Ouch,” whispered Hendery, “could you be any more harsh?”

You ran a hand through your hair, looking at the second youngest with a tired look, “do you want me to be?” He raised his hands in defense as you turned to everyone but the two youngest. “Gimme a few hours and I'll be back. I'll see you guys later.”

Waving you off, you walked out of the living room and made your way towards your office in the D.R.E.A.M.S building.

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