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#but actually i think that's just because it's the weekend i lose all emotional and mental stability on the weekend that's just how it is

solarmorrigan · 4 months

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Hands Where I Can See Them, Part 5

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4

Here’s the thing: Jeff isn’t actually a meddler by nature.

He’s perfectly content to let people be. He keeps himself to himself and is happy when others do the same. It’s not that he’s never curious, it’s just that he asks personal questions sparingly. And he’s probably going to ask them even more sparingly in the future, because the last time he’d asked one, he’d accidentally broken up one of his best friend’s relationships.

In fairness to Jeff, that relationship was going to blow up sooner rather than later (that is, in fact, exactly what Eddie had said to him when they’d talked a few days after the incident in question; Eddie had even said that he thinks he’d needed the wakeup call, though he’d have preferred it hadn’t happened the way it did – the way that hurt Steve so much. All the same, he seems determined to make things right, so– maybe not the worst thing in the world?), but still, Jeff feels a little… guilty isn’t quite the word, but he doesn’t have a better name for the squirm of emotion in his gut when he catches sight of Steve at Melvald’s one evening.

He hasn’t seen Steve in over a week, now – not since he’d abruptly left Eddie’s place after being unceremoniously informed that his boyfriend (Jeff’s pretty sure that’s the train Steve had been on) is apparently not actually his boyfriend.

And it isn’t as though he or Gareth or Oliver had really hung out with Steve sans Eddie before, but that doesn’t mean they wouldn’t be willing; Jeff’s experience with Steve Harrington in high school had been peripheral at best, and though he hadn’t had the best impression of him at first, he’d actually come to enjoy his company since he started hanging around Eddie after that disaster of a spring break. He doesn’t know much about D&D (though Jeff suspects he knows a lot more than he lets on), and he’s not particularly into fantasy or sci-fi, but he does have a bizarrely encyclopedic knowledge of sports, and had been excited to learn that Jeff is into baseball and hockey.

He's just as bitchy as Jeff had always thought he was, but he’s also unexpectedly kind, and funny in a way that had caught all of them off guard, and largely seems like a solid sort of guy.

And Jeff just feels kind of shitty that the last time they hung out had ended the way it had, that’s all.

That is his main excuse for why he approaches Steve in the cereal aisle at Melvald’s at 8 p.m. on a Friday.

He clears his throat. “Hey.”

Steve turns, brows furrowed as he looks to see who’s trying to get his attention, clearly not expecting any kind of social encounter, but his expression clears a bit when he sees Jeff. “Oh. Uh– Hey,” he says. “Didn’t expect to see you here.”

“I don’t seem like the type to eat breakfast cereal?” Jeff teases, and a little bit of the tension in Steve’s shoulders seems to ease away.

“More like I thought I was the only person lame enough to be grocery shopping on a Friday night,” he counters with a smirk.

“You might be,” Jeff says, though he keeps his voice warm. “I just stopped in to pick up some snacks for the weekend after– uh,” Jeff stops short; shit, why did he bring that up?

Steve stares at him for a moment, calculating, and Jeff sees the moment he makes the connection.

“Hellfire tonight, right?” Steve asks, his tone almost unnervingly neutral as he looks back towards the shelves.

“Yeah,” Jeff says, still watching Steve carefully. “Just ended about half an hour ago.”

Steve gives a slow nod. “How was it?”

And – well, there are two options from here. Jeff could take Steve’s polite interest at face value, tell him it was a good session, and let them both awkwardly get on with their nights, or… He could be truthful, and maybe see how Steve’s really doing (which would also be awkward, so it’s not like Jeff really has much to lose).

“To be honest? Not great.” Jeff shrugs. “Eddie hasn’t been in good form lately.”

He can see the curve of a sad sort of smile cross Steve’s face, just briefly.

“That sucks, man. Hope he, uh… gets his head back in the game soon, I guess?” Steve offers.

Whether he does or not will probably be entirely dependent on how his plans to fix things with Steve play out; Eddie hadn’t told Jeff much (apparently, he’s done accidentally flying his dirty laundry for the time being), but he had said that Steve had asked for a little time, and that they would be talking again soon.

“I think he’s working on it,” Jeff says, rather than digging into that particular can of worms. “And, uh… How are you doing?”

“Fine,” Steve says a little too quickly. “I’m fine.”

Jeff pauses for a minute, pursing his lips and staring up at the ceiling. Is he really doing this? On a Friday night at fucking Melvald’s?

“It just sucks,” he finally says, “that…”

“That you all had to see that I’m actually an oversensitive loser when you realized I’d basically made up an entire relationship and then ran out over it like an idiot?” Steve suggests, his tone so false and light that it sets Jeff on edge.

“That Eddie couldn’t see that he had something really good in front of him. That he completely fumbled it,” Jeff corrects him.

It’s only after he’s spoken that he remembers they’re in a public place, and that talking to one guy about his relationship with another guy isn’t particularly safe. He glances around, hoping it’s not too little, too late, and is relieved to find that the store is just as empty as it had been when he’d first stepped in. When he looks back to Steve, he finds him staring, brows furrowed like he’s trying to puzzle something out.

“Isn’t Eddie one of your best friends?” Steve asks at last.

Jeff shrugs. “Makes me qualified to point out when he’s been an idiot.”

Steve says nothing, just pins Jeff with that confused stare for a moment longer before turning back to the shelf, as if he might finally decide on what cereal he wants.

“If it helps at all,” Jeff says, more quietly this time, “the reason we were even talking about it is because I asked Eddie how it was going – the two of you dating. We all thought you were. We were– well, probably not just as surprised as you, but pretty damn surprised when Eddie said you weren’t.”

“That… actually does. A little,” Steve answers softly, cutting a quick glance at Jeff. “Thanks.”

Jeff shrugs. “It’s just– Eddie’s not– he’s not a bad guy. He gets caught up in things, and he forgets to pay attention, but he wouldn’t do something like that on purpose.”

“I know,” Steve says, not quite sharp, but not quite gentle, either.

“Sorry, I’m not… trying to talk him up. I swear I’m not here advocating for him, or whatever.” Jeff sighs. “You’re totally within your rights to tell him to fuck off—hell, you can tell me to fuck off—I just wanted to say that if he tells you he’s sorry, if he says he wants to fix it, he really does mean it.”

“Yeah. I know,” Steve says again, and this time he sounds gentle – a little soft and distant.

Jeff reaches up and clasps one hand over Steve’s shoulder, giving it a quick squeeze before releasing him. “Anyway, if we’re not going to be seeing you at any of the regular places, you should come over and catch a game sometime.”

It seems like a given that Steve won’t be sitting in on anymore Hellfire sessions for a while, or coming to see their gigs at The Hideout like he had been (he’s already missed one, and they had all pretended not to notice the way Eddie had completely ignored the side of the room with the table where Steve would usually sit and watch), but Jeff finds himself unwilling to let go of his friendship entirely.

“Yeah?” Steve asks, glancing over again.

“Sure.” Jeff shrugs. “Offer stands. Gareth and Oliver’d be happy to see you, too.”

“They’re not into sports,” Steve says.

“But they can be bribed with snacks,” Jeff answers, and Steve gives a huff of a laugh.

“Cool,” he says, the first real smile Jeff’s seen from him all night beginning to cross his face. “I’ll give you a call sometime.”

Jeff smirks at him. “Will you have your people call my people?” he teases, and Steve reaches out to give his shoulder a light shove.

“Fuck off, man,” he snickers.

“Only because I have other things to do,” Jeff says, heading back down the aisle the way he’d come. “Night, Harrington.”

“Night,” Steve calls back after him, sounding a bit lighter than when Jeff had found him.

Feeling a little lighter himself, Jeff snags an extra package of Ho Ho’s on the way to the register. He figures he’s earned it.

Part 6

Tag List (Now full, I'm sorry! Drop me a line if you want off the ride): @bushbees @y0urnewstepp4r3nt @gleek4twd @hellfireone @westifer-dead @anne-bennett-cosplayer @starman-jpg @mugloversonly @swimmingbirdrunningrock @alycatavatar @y4r3luv @rhapsodyinalto @vinteraltus @lilpomelito @tillystealeaves @noctxrn-e @pearynice @giverobinagfbrigade @novacorpsrecruit @hotluncheddie @strangersteddierthings @alongcomesaspider @theheadlessphilosopher @jettestar @rajumat @garden-of-gay @jamieweasley13 @dam28lh @oldwitcheshat @lololol-1234 @perfectlysensiblenonsense @salty-h0e @r0binscript @mavernanche @back2beesness @a-lovely-craziness @paintsplatteredandimperfect @redbullgivescaswings @emmabubbles @heartstarstar-blog @thesuninyaface @thatonebisexualman @fruitandbubbles @erinharvelle @m-owo-n @theystoodandplayedwithsilence @surroundedbyconfusion @luthienstormblessed @3ldr1tchang3l @pansexuality-activated

#steddie #steve harrington #jeff stranger things #steve & jeff #steve & corroded coffin #stranger things #sorry this bit's short but it's going to pick up soon!#solar wrote

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adventuringblind · 5 months

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Breathe For Me

LandOscar x Reader

Genre: Hurt/Comfort, Angst

Dialouge: "It's okay, you can rest. We've got you. Just Breathe."

Summary: Marks on your soulmates skin appear on yours. Oscar and Lando hope they find whoever it is before they run out of time.

Warnings: SELF-HARM, Alcohol, scars, blood, panic attacks,

Notes: This is Part of my 1000 follower event. Feel free to click the link and throw me a request!

Masterlist

It's not every day you meet your soulmate. It's certainly not rare, but it also isn't an everyday event and is supposed to only happen once. If you're Lando Norris, then you get to go through it twice.

Originally he thought only one. I mean, maybe his souldmate is just clumsy. That is not the case however, because Lando has more scars, cuts, bumps, and bruises then anyone else he knows. He would be fine with it if he wasn't on national television all the time.

Max and Charles were lucky and found each other in Karting. Max had a bruise on his face from his dad and showed up to the race with it still getting darker. Charles had one to match. Now they're happily in love and the public doesn't now (is what they tell themselves).

So Lando finds himself stuck in between a soulmate who bruises every occasionally and on who gets scrapes nearly every day. He feels for whoever the first is because Lando is clumsy and is always running into things. Between himself and whoever the latter is, he probably is already exasperated.

Aside from his family, Carlos is the first person to notice. He double checks nothing is happening in Lando's own life that is causing all the marks. He assures happily that he's clumsy and the two soul mates certainly don't help.

Lando has heard of people carving names and addresses into their arms to find their destined partner. He lets it happen naturally. It's supposed destiny and who is he to rush it?

Daniel admits to an extreme worry of Lando. The older driver kept a close eye on him and Lando has to reassure him non-stop that he's clumsy, but it's not that bad.

He soon realizes that it's not the bruises Daniel is worried about, it's the scars. When his sweatshirt sleeves roll up the red lines are visible. It's something he's gotten used to over the past couple of years, but he dosen't think about it when he's not being filmed.

They cover a good amount of space on his body. Biceps, collarbone, thighs, stomach, and shins. It wasn't that bad until 2021 when it got significantly worse. It's stressing him out if he's being honest with himself.

He's is pieces when Daniel tells him he's losing his seat. No other driver lined up yet. Another teammate gone.

Daniel reassures him that Oscar looks like he'll make a good teammate. Lando is skeptical. Oscar is younger and a rookie.

The first time he meets Oscar is at the MTC. They shake hands, two sets of sleeves role up and Lando can't help but stare.

They match. Their wrists are completely identical.

They don't talk about it until a while later after spending the off season getting to know each other. They determined in Febuary they would be really close friends. It obviously escalated and now Charlotte keeps tell him to make it less obvious.

He's nit afraid to say he's weak for Oscar. A calm in his storm of emotions. The one person who can get him to actually rationalize his anxious thoughts.

In 2023, three rookies came to the grid. One of them being a female driver for alphatauri and a good friend of Oscar's. She then consequently became a friend of Lando's.

Which would be so terrible if Lando didn't know for a fact she's hiding something. She's shy and closed off to everybody unless it's him or Oscar. Mostly because he's forced his way under her skin.

"There is something about her, Osc. I can feel it in my bones."

"Are you sure it's not the cup of milk you downed getting to your head?"

"Rude!"

Oddly enough, it's max who approaches them about her later. He'd gotten to know her through media things and race weekends and often asked Lando about her or vice versa.

He pulls Oscar and him aside early one morning in the paddock. Oscar is still half asleep and Lando doesn't know what's happened until Max slides their sleeves up.

The ones they decided to wear to the cameras didn't pick up the fresh scar close to their elbow on their forearms. Completely identical to each other.

"You said you have another soulmate right?"

"Yes?"

"I think I might know who it is."

This is how Lando and Oscar find themselves in front of her hotel room door after the race. A DNF that wasn't her fault had ended her race early. Max had been about to go get her himself, but Lando and Oscar had said they would. If Max is right then they have a higher chance of getting through to the female driver.

Max sent them with the key card he has to her room. The one he forced her to give after he found her last night with a blade in her hand.

They knock out of curtosey first. No answer, as expected, but at least they tried. Maybe She’s asleep? Lando knows that’s probably not the case but he really doesn’t want to and see what is most likely happening. If the sting on his thigh says anything, it’s definitely not sleep.

Oscar keys the door open and hesitantly steps inside. Lando follows right on his heels. The lights are off and he would probably think it was empty if it weren’t for the visible blob of blankets in the corner that’s sobbing violently. to close to hyperventilation for Lando’s liking. He takes immediate action and pulls her out of the blankets.

Immediately, he keeps her body from curling in on itself so her chest is open and can get air easier. Oscar manages to find a lamp switch. She’s a wreck. So incredibly broken that Lando doesn’t know where to start.

“Breathe.” Is all he can come up with. "It's okay, you can rest. We've got you. Just Breathe."

Somehow he coax’s her to sleep. Him and Oscar combined manage to get her to bed, wrestle her shoes off, and bandage what they could see without removing clothing.

Oscar practically forces Lando into the be with her and he takes the floor. He’d said he’d take the floor with him, but Oscar claimed that Lando is the lighter sleeper and would know if she moved at all. Curse his soulmate and his logical thinking.

She manages to sleep until five in the morning. This time she just cries and huddles closer into Lando.

“I’m sorry you have to see me in such a state… I didn’t know you were stopping by.”

Lando maneuvers then int a sitting position. He then takes a pillow and throw it at his lover on the floor. Oscar stirs and groans.

“Must you.”

“Yes, It’s funny.”

Oscar makes his way up onto the bed and looks immediately like he’s going to fall asleep. Lando consequently throws another pillow at him.

“You should know something…” Lando starts. He doesn’t finish because the word are not doing what he needs them to. They jumble on his head and he can’t figure out where to start.

He’s entirely to grateful for Oscars presence. “Max thinks that the three of us are soulmates.”

Lando was thinking it would be like the first. Realization followed by smiles and laughs. This is not that. Instead it’s panic. She defends into the depths of her mind as she studies the match scars, even revealing her own identical one.

The pain, embarrassment and shame are written all over her features. She’s mumbling through some kind of an apology.

“Breathe.” He repeats. He says it over and over again until it’s all her own mind can hear.

Oscar looks gutted and lost. He’d helped Lando through many panic attacks, but this is completely different.

“I didn’t think I would ever find you. The doctors had tried to cut me off because it was a mistake since there were two. They said I wasn’t supposed to have one.”

Are the two boys shocked? A tad. Why would a doctor do that?

Lando doesn’t get time to ask as she pulls out a bottle of medication from the drawer in the nightstand. It’s stuff he’s heard of, but never actually seen. “This has been suppressed to sever the connection, but it hasn’t worked. They said to take it in higher doses at smaller intervals until it stops.”

She pops open the lid and pours a couple into her hands. Thank goodness for quick reflexes because Lando goes to get the ones in her hands, and Oscar goes for the bottle. She's too focused on Lando to notice the Aussie who manages to swipe it from her.

"Why didn't you ever say anything?"

"Didn't feel relevant."

"But this is incredibly dangerous! I've heard most people who do it end up -" Oh. It dawns on him why she's doing this to herself. The connection between them was already rough for her. She had been trying to 'fix' it like her doctors said. Had been told her entire life that the people who are fated to lover her unconditionally won't because she is nothing to them.

"How long have you been taking the meds?" Oscar's voice is so careful. The Brit would love to swoon, but it feels impolite at the moment.

"Years. They've tried everything. Put me on different kinds and change the dosage."

"Thirteen?" Lando whisper asks. His voice was barely audible. The small nod from the female confirms it. That's when the first scars arrived.

Lando places his hands on either side of her teary face. "You are not a mistake. You have never been a mistake. We've been aching for you. Scared maybe one day there wouldn't be any more marks and the implications of it. I've wanted nothing more than to tell you for years that you are loved and wanted."

He didn't even notice his own tears. Everything is just so overwhelming at the moment. They came so unexpectedly that it almost startled him. Screw Oscar and his ability to be amazing emotional support. The hand on Lando's knee is the only thing keeping him grounded.

They don't let her go until Max comes to get her. She's flying to do some filming with him. Neither of the males want to let her go, so they don’t. They end up flying with her since McLaren hasn’t filled their schedules.

But then they don’t leave. They spend every moment possible reminding her she is loved. That they want her. That nothing between them is a mistake.

Soon the scars start to fade.

But have no fear, Lando is clumsy enough to make up for it.

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chososchalupa · 4 months

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New to school

Fem!Reader x Megumi

♡ About! Yuji’s sister is new to Jujutsu High and Megumi may cause more issues than she’s ready for

Ch.11 - written

WC - 604

You watched wide-eyed as Gojo wrapped his arm around Megumi's shoulder and smiled at you, “You’re free to go. Megumi and I need to have a little chat”

You stood frozen locking eyes with Megumi until you heard Gojo clear his throat, “Oh! Sorry, I’ll go now. Thanks again, Gojo”

You gave him a small smile before rushing out of his office and back to your room. ‘I really hope this works’ you thought as you walked through the halls, ignoring the glances and whispers that surrounded you.

~~~

Gojo watched as you closed his door and waited until he could no longer hear your footsteps before turning back to the angry boy beside him.

“Anything to say, Megs?” He asked

Megumi shrugged, “Yeah, I actually need help with-“

“Not that, Megumi” Gojo interrupted, “What did you do this time?”

Megumi rolled his eyes and went to sit on one of Gojo's chairs, “it was just a prank. Toge and I thought it would be funny. She’s just being dramatic”

Gojo scoffed at Megumi's words, “Funny?” he asked, “You two think it’s funny to turn all of her friends against her? Including her own brother?”

Megumi sat in silence and Gojo spoke again, “Why do you keep acting like this towards her? This is the third time she’s had to come to me because you won’t leave her alone. What is going on?”

Gojo stared at Megumi, almost missing the tears threatening to overflow before he blinked them away and looked back up to meet Gojo's eyes,

“I don’t want to lose him again” he whispered

“What?”

“Ever since she started here, she has been constantly attached to Yuji. He’s always trying to find a way to bring her into our plans and I know it’s stupid, Gojo. But I lost him once and it’s a miracle he was able to come back from that and now she’s here and she’s just taking him away again” Megumi finally let his tears fall before continuing, “I don’t hate her, Gojo. I really don’t. But I just want our old friend group back. I had no one before you brought Yuji and Nobara here and she’s just taking them away” Megumi angrily wiped the tears from his face, “Laugh if you want. I know it’s childish but I don’t care”

Gojo shook his head and knelt down so he was on Megumi's level, “It’s not a stupid reason, Megumi. But you need to understand that she’s not trying to take away your friends. She’s trying to join you, she told me herself, she wanted to be close to you too, not just with Nobara or Yuji”

Megumi chuckled in response, “Our first time meeting she didn’t even say a word to me. We sat at breakfast and she talked to Yuji and Nobara the whole time. I was completely left out”

“Was she purposely leaving you out or were you just pushing them away? It’s a two-way street, Megumi. If you’re distant and cold, why would she try to warm up to you?” Gojo stood as he spoke, “It’s time you grow up, Megumi. I know you’ve been through a lot but the world isn’t out to get you. You can open up and learn to trust people. I lost my best friend when I was younger, I know how you feel but this is not the right way to handle your emotions”

Megumi stared out the window as he listened to what Gojo was saying, “I know” he answered, almost quietly enough for Gojo to not hear him. “I’m sorry”

Gojo sighed at his apology, “It’s not me you need to apologize to, Megs. It’s her. You’ve put her through hell. But before you apologize, you need to tell everyone what you did. Your apology will mean nothing if everyone’s still ignoring her for what you did”

Megumi nodded in agreement, “I’ll go find them now”

“That’s my boy” Gojo smiled as Megumi stood up

“Don’t call me that” Megumi replied, “I’ll be back later, I still need help on this assignment”

~~~

You sat quietly at your desk, music playing softly in the background as you worked on your homework for the weekend when you heard a knock at your door. ‘What now?’ you thought as you opened your door. To your surprise, Yuji and Nobara stood in the hallway, both with sad smiles on their faces,

“Do you guys need something?” You asked

“Yeah,” Nobara started, “We need to apologize. Can we come in?”

Your eyes widened as you backed away from your door allowing them to enter your room. As you shut the door behind them, you were engulfed with a hug from your brother

“I am so so sorry,” he whispered into your hair, “I should have believed you from the start. I guess I was just in denial that Megumi would act that way”

“Yeah.” Nobara agreed, “I knew Megumi had some issues but I didn’t know they’d run this deep”

Yuji finally let you go as you looked at both of them, “What made you guys finally believe me?”

“Megumi told us everything” Yuji answered.

“Everything?”

“Everything. He said he wanted to turn things around but he needed to start with telling everyone the truth. He made a group chat without you and had everyone meet up and he explained why he did what he did and he even cried” Nobara explained with a smile, “I should have believed you from the start, I knew you loved me too much for that text to mean anything” she laughed.

The three of you spent the next few minutes laughing with each other and talking about what really went down the night of the party before you heard your phone ding. You were going to ignore it but it went off again causing Yuji to glance at you with a confused look. You stood and walked over to your desk and opened your phone to see you had two unread messages.

Gumi‼️ - “Hey, I have something I need to talk to you about. I understand if you don’t want to see me but I feel you deserve to hear this in person, not over text”

Gumi‼️ - “This isn’t a prank. I promise. I know you don’t trust me but I’m asking for you to just this once”

“Who is it?” Yuji asked from your bed

“It’s Megumi” You responded, “He wants to meet up. Should I do it?”

“I don’t think it’s a bad idea,” Nobara said, “We can follow you if you want”

You giggled at her statement, “That’s okay. He can’t hurt me more than he already has”

Your fingers danced over the keyboard on your phone before you typed

“Where do you want to meet?”

He read your message almost instantly before typing back “My room? You have some clothes here anyway”

You rolled your eyes at his message before typing back

“On my way”

You locked your phone sliding it into your pocket as you slipped your shoes on. “I’ll be right back” You waved at Yuji and Nobara as you closed your door and headed towards Megumi's room.

──────────────────

Everyone say thank you Gojo for making Megumi finally admit to being a mf asshole

taglist - some blogs won’t let me tag

@sad-darksoul @arixyzz @persephonespomegranetes @beet1ebum @weird0o0 @diogodxlot @iluv-ace @sukiischaotic @luvvmae @oliver-crow @m00nglad3-mp3 @jtoddwife @deezy12299 @swissy23 @fantasycantasy @ajayke-reads @getolvr

#jujutsu kaisen #jjk #jjk smau #jujutsu kaisen texts #megumi x reader #megumi fushiguro x reader #bully megumi #itadori sister #megumi fushiguro #nobara kugisaki #yuji itadori #inumaki toge #maki zenin #panda jjk #gojo satoru

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noramoons · 2 years

Text

seasons (waiting on you).

pairing: yeonjun x reader, (eventual) taehyun x reader

genre: college au, angst, slight fluff at the end

rating: T/13+

word count: 16.5k (i am so sorry)

warnings: explicit language, one (1) mention of alcohol, descriptions of a breakup, depression and anxiety depictions, mentions of harmful behaviors and thoughts, just so many post-breakup emotions being described for way too long BUT angst with a happy ending :)

summary: when your high school sweetheart choi yeonjun is off to grad school, you aren’t too worried about how your relationship will last—but your favorite coworker, kang taehyun, is.

OR:

a study in the seasons of loving and losing choi yeonjun—and how you put yourself back together afterwards.

playlist: telepath - conan grey, let you break my heart again - laufey, back 2 u (A.M. 01:27) - nct 127, i don’t know you anymore - eric nam, drive - ashton irwin, seasons (waiting on you) - future islands

I. PROLOGUE.

Loving Yeonjun was like watching a meteor shower cross the sky. It was beautiful, and you considered yourself blessed to have been able to see it with your own eyes—but like everything else in life, it was inevitable that it had to end.

And it ended too soon.

You still remember the day he transferred to your high school—everyone had practically stared as he walked down the hallway, beaming politely at the people at he passed on his way to his first class. He was like a celebrity almost instantly, and not just because he was a transfer student—Choi Yeonjun was beautiful, and jaw-droppingly so, at that.

You ended up having two classes with him, to the mostly-pretend envy of your friends. They did all say that they would be far too nervous to even try to talk to someone like Choi Yeonjun, but you didn't feel that way. He was stunningly handsome, certainly—but he was still just a high schooler like you. You didn't feel intimidated by him in the same way that your friends clearly did.

So one day you offered to help him with Mrs. Jung's pre-calculus homework—she was a notoriously difficult math teacher, but this was the second year you'd had her. You knew what to expect with her by that point. You didn't, however, know what to expect with your offer towards Yeonjun—it was just a passing remark you made at the end of class that you would be more than happy to give him some pointers on how to pass her quizzes if he ever needed them. Nothing too serious.

But he'd looked up at you. Blinked. And then smiled, meeting your gaze with those soft bright eyes that practically made you melt right then and there in that classroom. "Thank you," he'd said, as genuine a thank you as you'd ever heard. "I'd love that. Could I ask you for another favor, actually?"

You weren't entirely sure what he was going to say next, but you nodded anyway, despite your gut telling you no.

"Can you tell me some good places to eat here? My family just moved—you know that, obviously, but I'm getting kind of tired of takeout every single night. So if you have any recommendations that, um...aren't chain restaurants, I'd appreciate it a lot." He had laughed slightly nervously after that.

Something fluttered within your chest. Oh. Choi Yeonjun, for all his good looks and charming attitude, was kind of awkward, too.

It just made you melt even more.

You did end up telling him the best local places to eat in your city, surprising yourself with your own bravery when you told him you wouldn't mind showing them to him yourself sometime—and he replied with that reassuring smile once again. "I'd love that, too," he'd said.

You'd exchanged numbers, but you didn't really think anything would come of it—it was always possible that Yeonjun had just been polite, after all. He surprised you once again, though, with a text that weekend asking to meet him at the breakfast bar you had recommended.

Just me? you'd asked.

Yeonjun had responded within minutes. Just you.

On Saturday, you stressed for nearly an hour over what to wear, trying on combination after combination of outfits. Everything you had was too old (there's a difference between vintage and gross). Too new (trying too hard, much?). Too short (what will he think of you?). Not short enough (did you time-travel in from the 1800s?). But eventually, you settled on something that was just slightly above casual wear and made your way to the restaurant to be ten minutes early.

Yeonjun was there before you, giving you a small wave when you pushed open the door to the restaurant. You'd thought someone as cool in appearance like him wouldn't be the kind of person to get somewhere super early, even earlier than you—bur Choi Yeonjun seemed to be the kind of person who just kept surprising you. His outward appearance that made nearly everyone you knew practically fall at his feet clearly wasn't all there was to him.

You learned quite a bit more about Yeonjun that day, and you'd continue to learn more when he asked you to meet him for lunch again later that week. He wanted a dog, but the apartment he was living in with his family wouldn't allow it. He listened to just about every kind of music you'd ever heard. He was a good, genuine kind of listener, hanging on your every word whenever it was your turn to speak. It was a little detail, but you would've been lying if you said it hadn't made your heart beat faster every time you noticed it.

It wasn't until the third outing that you finally gathered up the courage to ask him what had been on your mind since that very first invitation. "Yeonjun?" you asked, almost stuttering on his name as it passed your lips. Get it together.

He looked up from his bowl of noodles. "Mmm-hmm?"

"Is this, um...is this a date?"

He only hesitated for an instant. "Is that okay? I mean," he had started, trying to hold your gaze, "would you want it to be?"

You nodded, maybe too quickly. "I would."

The grin that instantly tugged the corners of his lips immediately melted any insecurities you'd had away. That was always what being around Yeonjun was like—he just set you at ease.

You felt that same way a month later, when you'd agreed to meet him at an art museum downtown that you'd mentioned wanting to go to. He'd led you through the halls, warm hand in yours, gazing at the different paintings hung on the walls together—different expressions of love and hate and sorrow and every expression that man could expel into a paintbrush.

Well—you had been staring at the medley of colors and brush strokes on the painting directly in front of you. Yeonjun, unbeknownst to you, hadn't taken his eyes off you since you'd walked into this particular room. "I have something to tell you," he'd said. "I...I don't like beating around the bush with these kinds of things."

You turned to face him at the sudden declaration. Your heart was pounding against your chest loud enough that you wondered if Yeonjun could hear it, but you swallowed down your nervousness and nodded.

He took your silent reply as confirmation to keep going. "I like you," he said, never looking away from your eyes for an instant. "I want to keep going out with you, if that's something you want."

You remember thinking that Yeonjun had to have been able to hear how loud your heart was from inside your chest—you'd never felt that kind of nervous excitement before in your life. Still, you managed to nod again, smiling softly at his words. "I'd really like that too, Yeonjun. Because I like you too."

He'd beamed at you, looking at you like you were the only thing in the room, as if you were a piece of art to be marveled at despite the awe-inspiring works surrounding both of you—and you returned that grin as much as you could.

And now you're here, years away from that day where you and Yeonjun had both confessed. It's like everything has fallen into place just like it was meant to.

It's the longest relationship you've ever been in, not to mention the first long-term relationship you've ever had, and you've been fascinated by the way it has evolved. Seeing Yeonjun when you walk into a room doesn't fill you with nervous excitement anymore; rather, it calms you down, simply grounding you with his presence. You don't feel nervous about bringing your concerns to him, worried about what he might think about you when you overanalyze the conversation afterwards—instead, you take comfort in the fact that he brings his concerns to you, too. He loves you. And you love him.

You'd spent a year apart when he had graduated high school before you, but you'd promised with teary eyes as you helped him move into his college dormitory that you'd keep this going if that was what he wanted. "Don't, um...don't forget about me while you're having fun at college," you'd quipped in the parking lot right before you left. It was a joke (mostly), but Yeonjun had heard the worry in your voice. He'd smiled at you then, just like he had all those years ago.

"Of course," he'd said, holding you tightly to his chest in an attempt to not betray any of his own worries about the next year. "You'll have to try a little harder to get rid of me, I hope you know."

You did know—there was never any doubt in your mind that he loved you just as much as you loved him. Yeonjun had always kept his promises, and that year apart didn't change a thing. He made sure the two of you FaceTimed at least once a week, even during his exam seasons, and both of you always sent a goodnight, i love you text every day, even if it was the only thing you said to each other that day. You'd surprise him occasionally, making a trip up to his university to visit and spoil him all weekend, taking him wherever he wanted to eat, and he'd do the same to you on weekends he could come home.

You had been so proud of both of you for keeping that relationship alive for the year you were apart, and Yeonjun was overjoyed when you told him you'd gotten into the university he was currently attending. It wasn't long before you were side-by-side every day once again, just like you'd been in high school, and you were still just as in love as you were back then.

Yeonjun is remarkably smart—but you knew that already, knew it even when you offered to help him with pre-calculus back in high school. That's why it doesn't surprise you when he's able to graduate college early, on top of getting multiple grad school offers for his Master's degree. He takes you with him to tour the schools he's looking at, even though he knows you won't be there for a while—you're as much a part of his decision-making-process as he is. You'd waited for him in that interval before you'd gone to college—you can wait for him here, too.

Being with Yeonjun was like a dream, all of it.

You suppose you had to wake up eventually.

II. FALL

It surprises you when those seeds of doubt begin to sow themselves in your mind. It's been three months since Yeonjun has left for grad school across the country, but you can count the number of times he's called to check on you on both hands. You know you aren't the same lovesick teenagers you were when he had gone off for college and left you for a year in high school, but you had thought that it wouldn't be that different.

But a good relationship is nothing without communication—you and Yeonjun haven't made it work this long without reminding each other occasionally to keep in touch. So you send him a quick text.

< everything going okay? miss u <33

You don't have time to wait around for his reply, though—your shift at the university library starts in just under thirty minutes, so you decide you'd better go ahead and head that way.

Your coworkers are all lounging against the front desk when you clock in, clipping your nametag underneath your collar. "What's so funny?" you ask, tilting your head at their sudden giggling.

Taehyun points towards the study corrals. "Kai's drooling."

"I am not," Kai interrupts, frowning. "I..."

He trails off as a girl walks out of one of the study corrals, pulling her headphones out of her tote bag before placing them delicately over her ears, smiling softly as her music starts before she heads for the doors.

You share a knowing glance with Taehyun, who smirks at you. He's been a close comfort as you've started university—you feel blessed to get along with all your coworkers, but Taehyun is someone you've meshed with practically right from the start. Your majors are in the same department, so you've had quite a bit of overlap with your required classes—you and Taehyun have already spent many a day off together back in the library, comparing notes and cramming for quizzes together. He's a much better note-taker than you, which is slightly aggravating, but your memory is better than his, so you usually remember class material better than he does. It's an unusual equivalent exchange between the two of you, but you're both pleased with how well it's worked so far. Not to mention how easy he is to spend time with—you swear your study sessions with Taehyun almost always feel like minutes instead of hours. It reminds you, sometimes, of how your first few dates with Yeonjun had gone (this, of course, is a thought you squash the moment it appears).

"Oh, my God," Kai says, practically groaning even as you and Taehyun giggle at him. "She's so cute. What am I going to do?"

Taehyun turns to you, smirking. "What do you think? Think he's got a chance?"

You raise both your hands in mock self-defense. "Hey, this is all between Kai and that girl. Besides, I'd never date a coworker. Just gets too messy, you know?"

Beomgyu pokes his head out from organizing the storage closet behind you. "Aren't you literally dating Yeonjun?"

You scoff. "I'll have you know I was dating Yeonjun long before he worked here. Or before I worked here, either." Yeonjun had only worked at the university library his first year, but he'd gotten along really well with Soobin, one of the managers, and putting in a good word for you certainly didn't hurt when you had told him you were looking for a job at the start of the school year.

Beomgyu makes a face. "Well. Shady application or not—you're reshelving the architecture textbooks upstairs since you're almost late."

You aren't late, actually—you've clocked in five minutes early, but you don't quite have the energy for getting into a mostly-pretend argument with Beomgyu today. So you offer him a wink before grabbing a handful of architecture textbooks from the desk and heading upstairs to the art section.

You pass several couples studying together on your way up to the third floor. Only a few are really studying, though—most have notebooks and laptops spread out, sure, but just about every other couple on a study date of their own is putting much more emphasis on the date part, rather than the study part.

Not that you blame them at all—you and Yeonjun used to do the same thing. You remember plenty of study sessions where you'd gaze up from your computer to find Yeonjun taking a silly candid photo of you before you'd scoff, playfully begging him to delete it (which he would never do—you look too cute so focused like that, he'd say). But you always saw them later when he made them the lockscreen on his phone.

You wonder what his lockscreen is now, you think absentmindedly as you haul several books onto one shelf. It's been months since you saw him or his phone. At that thought, you glance down at your own phone tucked into your jeans pocket to see if he's sent you any kind of response to your message earlier—but your notification screen is just as empty as it was the last time you checked.

Those seeds of worry dig themselves deeper.

But you tell yourself again not to worry. There's no point—you and Yeonjun have been through plenty together. You know you have no idea how busy and stressful graduate school must be, but you're sure you'll hear all about it the next time you see Yeonjun.

It's the same thing you tell yourself when you get in your car to go back to your apartment once your shift ends, checking your phone once again to see an empty screen.

And again tomorrow morning, when your notification screen is still blank (aside from the outdated memes Soobin is spamming your work groupchat with) on your way to class.

There's no doubt about it now. Those seeds are planted. You're worried.

But, as it turns out, only for a few hours—because you do finally, finally receive a reply from Yeonjun halfway through your shift at the library, your heart nearly pounding out of your chest in a way it hasn't in years when you finally see his name pop up at the top of your notifications.

> hey!

> can you talk soon?

You look around the library. It's a Friday night—hardly anyone on campus is studying, but Soobin has still scheduled you, Taehyun, and Kai for tonight—you're practically over-staffed, so you're sure he won't mind if you step outside for a quick moment.

You make your way towards the chemistry section, where Soobin is currently organizing some kind of midterms display. "Hi," you say, sweetly.

He turns his head to face you, suspicion tugging at the corners of his eyes. "Hi," he repeats, slowly. "What's up?"

"Mind if I step outside really quick? I have to make a call."

Soobin narrows his eyes, and you know he's onto you. But he still gestures towards the door with his head before tapping on his wristwatch. "Just make it quick, alright?"

You nod way too quickly. "You got it," you say, beaming at him before practically dashing for the doors, pulling up Yeonjun's contact information on your phone and calling him immediately.

He picks up on the third ring. "Hey," he starts.

"Hi," you respond, trying not to sound too terribly excited to hear his voice. "How's school going?"

He hums. "It's alright, I guess. You?" God, he sounds tired—you'll have to come up with something really nice to surprise him with the next time you see him. You're not sure what his favorite restaurants are in his new city, but you can ask around with his friends—you're sure he has plenty already. He's always been that way—that charm of his had certainly worked on you too, after all.

So you make a similar hum of agreement. "It's okay so far. I really miss you, Jjun."

There's a strange pause after those words—as if you and Yeonjun had a script for your conversations, and he had lost his. You had fully expected him to return the sentiment, just like he always had before. Instead, you hear him take a breath. "Do you have time to talk, Y/N?"

The seeds of worry are back, digging themselves deeper and insisting on growing roots within your head. "Um...sure," you manage to get out, trying to ignore the sudden panic clawing at the bottom of your stomach.

He sighs, and there's a long space of time before he continues. "...I really wish I could see you. You deserve this in person at least, you know? But...fuck, there's no easy way to do it, I guess. I—I don't think we should do this anymore. Us, I mean—I think we need to be done."

You aren't sure if you heard him right. There's no, no way your Yeonjun just said...that. "...What?" you say, laughing nervously. "I'm sorry—are you saying we need a break?"

Yeonjun clears his throat. "No," he says. "Not a break. I don't think that would be fair to either of us. I think we need to be done."

Blindsided doesn't even begin to cover how you feel. You feel like Yeonjun has just dumped a bucket of ice water over your head through the phone. "Yeonjun—you're breaking up with me?"

He takes a moment to reply. "Yeah, Y/N. I am. And I'm so, so sorry, I—"

"Over the phone?" you sputter, indignant tears blooming at the corners of your eyes. "You're ending a four and a half year relationship...over a phone call?"

You can't see him, but you know the wince he's making, judging by the sound of the sigh that leaves his mouth. "I told you, I would've had to fly out to come see you—and I figured you probably wouldn't have let me stay the rest of the weekend at your place afterwards," he says, laughing awkwardly. "I'm too broke as it is these days anyway."

You just can't believe what you're hearing. This is a nightmare. It has to be. "So...what?" you choke out, brushing back tears threatening to fall from the corners of your eyes. "Did I...do something?"

"Oh, God, no," Yeonjun says hurriedly, and the concern in his voice is genuine. You know what that sounds like, at least. "Honestly. You didn't do anything, Y/N—it's my fault. I let this relationship grow static, and I let myself fall into a routine—and I just sort of stopped feeling the way I had before. I should have done this before, but I was too much of a coward, and I'm so, so sorry—I know it's a lot to ask of you, but I hope you can forgive me. Maybe we can be friends, one day."

A long time passes before you answer. "One day," you repeat. "But not now."

He lets out a short laugh. "I didn't think you'd want to be friends now."

"I...fuck, Yeonjun," you say, nervous and shocked laughter escaping your throat. "I don't want this to be over at all. There's...there's no way this just came out of nowhere."

He hums apprehensively. "I don't know what else I can say. It's the truth—I just let myself become bored with the relationship, and that's my fault. I should have tried harder a long time ago, and for that, I...I really am sorry."

"I—I guess I just don't see why it isn't too late to try now," you stammer. "Why?"

"...Y/N, I don't want to try now, anymore," he whispers, and it's only then that you really get what he's been trying to tell you all along. He's done with you—whatever he felt for you all those years ago when you whispered your mutual confessions in that quiet art gallery, is gone.

Yeonjun does not love you anymore. How you feel about him doesn't matter.

It takes several uncomfortable beats of silence before you speak again. "Okay," you say, voice shaking. "Okay. I get it. G...goodbye, Yeonjun."

He lets out a shaky sigh of his own. "Goodbye, Y/N. I'm so—"

But you hang up before he can say anything else. You don't want to hear another word from him now. You're trembling as you end the call, sliding your phone back into your back pocket. You're going home—there's no fucking way you can make it through the rest of your shift after this. You walk back inside as calmly as you can, sliding your nametag off your collar and placing it on the desk.

Taehyun hasn't quite turned around to see you when you do so. "Oh, Y/N, you won't believe what Kai just sent—huh?" He frowns, finally noticing your nametag on the front counter.

"Can you, um...can you tell Soobin when he gets back that I'm going home? I'll come early on Saturday, I'll do whatever he needs me to do to make up for this time, but I really need to go home." You absolutely cannot, under any circumstance, let them see you like this—especially not Taehyun, your favorite coworker. You don't think he'd ever let you hear the end of it.

His eyebrows furrow in confusion. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," you say, way, way too quickly to be nothing. "I'm sick. I...I-I'll see you guys on Saturday, okay?" You turn around and walk towards the library doors as fast as you can, practically making a beeline for the doors—but you aren't fast enough to not hear the familiar sound of Taehyun unclipping his own nametag and slamming it on the desk behind you.

"Kai, tell Soobin I'm feeling sick, too. I'll call Beomgyu to come cover for me for the rest of this shift."

"You...what?" Kai practically splutters, leaning over the front counter to call after the both of you. "What the hell's wrong with you two?"

You have to make it to the car. You can have the breakdown you so desperately need in there, but you are not going to sob your eyes out right outside the university library.

Taehyun, however, apparently isn't going to let you do either. "Y/N," he says behind you once the two of you are outside, grabbing hold of your bicep. "What's going on? What's wrong? Please—just talk to me."

You shake your head. "Taehyun, please, I just need to go home. I'm going to have a fucking meltdown right on the street if you don't at least let me get to my car," you sputter, voice trembling as you try to keep the tears at bay.

But Taehyun shakes his head too. "No. We can go in my car. You said you parked in the guest lot today because you were almost late. Remember?"

You do remember—and at this point, you don't care enough to argue with him. So you nod in agreement, following him into the lot in a walk that has to be the longest minute and a half of your life. Once you're in Taehyun's car, though, shutting the passenger door behind you, you can't fight the tears prickling at your eyes anymore.

"Hey—hey, talk to me, Y/N. Please. What's going on?"

You shake your head, burying your head in your hands to try to muffle your sobs. "He broke up with me, Tae," you manage to choke out, even though the verbal confirmation of what just happened just makes you cry harder.

"He—what? The fuck? Yeonjun?"

"Who else?" you snap back, voice shaking. "He said we've...grown apart since he moved away. That he doesn't love me anymore. But I still love him, Taehyun," you sniff, tears tracking down your face and slipping into your open mouth in what must be an absolute mess to behold. "What am I supposed to do?"

If Taehyun thinks you look a mess, though, he doesn't tell you. "Fuck...Y/N, I'm so, so sorry," he starts, gently. "I know that doesn't mean anything—but I really am."

You shake your head. "No. It does mean something."

He gestures towards his backseat. "If you want to beat up my backseats, go for it. I've done that after a few shitty shifts before—it can be pretty cathartic."

But you just shake your head again, sniffling. "I just want to go home, Taehyun. Please."

He just nods, turning the keys in the ignition before reaching into the center console in his car to grab an envelope of tissues, taking several and handing them to you. "In case you need these."

You sniff again. "Thank you," you say, even though you know you're nowhere near done crying about this.

You don't live too far from the university, so Taehyun's pulling into the parking lot of your apartment building before you know it. Your apartment is only on the second floor, and there's a set of stairs outside, so Taehyun is able to park almost right below your apartment. He turns to face you again. "This is you, right?"

You nod. "Yes. Thank you, Tae."

He glances for a moment at your door before looking back at you, worry etched on his features. "You want some time to yourself? I can come back tomorrow if you want me to check on you."

Normally, you think, you'd say yes. You'd want to go finish crying by yourself and getting it all out of your system right before you force yourself to fall asleep—but you think about your apartment. You think about the hoodies in your closet, the pictures adorning your shelves, the stuffed animals on your bed—Yeonjun is everywhere in your apartment. You can't face these remainders of him alone.

So you shake your head. "No, I...um, can you come inside, please? You don't have to stay, I just don't know if I can—"

But Taehyun doesn't let you finish, turning off the car's ignition and opening his door, immediately walking around to open yours. Normally, you'd make some quip here about chivalry not being dead, but you can't find the energy within yourself to make anything of the sort.

You make your way up the stairs before unlocking your door and making your way to your bedroom, trying to avoid the onslaught of photos of you and Yeonjun in the living room before collapsing onto your bed, covering your face in your pillows and sobbing the way you wanted to earlier. You hardly even notice Taehyun beside you, rubbing small circles on your back while you soak the pillowcase below you, chest heaving with hiccups in between sobs.

You don't turn around to face him until you feel like you've emptied every tear in your eyes, now red and puffy as you catch your breath.

Taehyun frowns at the state of you, finally moving his hand away from the small of your back. "Where are your washcloths?" he asks.

What? "Um...o-on the rack beside the shower," you say, gesturing towards the bathroom in the hallway.

You're perplexed when he leaves, even more so when you hear the sound of the sink running, but he's back in an instant with a wet cloth, sitting back down beside you on your bed. He hesitates for an instant. "For your cheeks," he says, tapping his own. "It'll feel better."

Oh. "Thanks," you say, somewhat lamely, before taking the washcloth from his hands. It's warm, you realize, and he's right—it does feel nice on your tear-stained cheeks, especially under your now-puffy eyes—a gentle contrast to the sobs that had racked your entire body minutes ago.

You set the washcloth down, looking back up at Taehyun, who offers you a reassuring smile—one you've seen plenty of times at the library, when one of you has messed up on organizing a section and had to endure a lecture from Soobin. It's not a bad expression to be on the receiving end of. "Come here," he says, opening his arms, and you let him pull you into his chest without a second thought. It's the first time you've hugged Taehyun, you think absentmindedly—but you suppose that doesn't matter. You're grateful to have him here with you now—you can't imagine how much worse you'd feel alone in your room now.

He lets you hold onto him for as long as you need, only pulling away when you do. "Did you eat before work?" he asks softly.

You shake your head. You'd planned on making something from your pantry after your shift, but the thought of getting up and being productive right now feels like a Herculean task.

Taehyun must be able to see the exhaustion on your face, because he just nods. "That's okay," he says. "I'll order in."

And he does. You spend the rest of the evening eating takeout from the Thai place down the street on your bed with Taehyun, who stays beside you and makes sure you have a nearly-full glass on your nightstand at all times, to make up for how you'd practically dehydrated yourself sobbing. And you do cry again in the middle of eating dinner, but Taehyun doesn't flinch—he just nestles you in his sturdy arms again until you don't have any tears left to cry.

He does make a comment about leaving if you'd prefer sometime past midnight, but one look from you causes the rest of the sentence to die on his tongue, and he doesn't say another word about it.

You wake up in the morning just before noon, and you feel only a single instant pang of panic before you see Taehyun's outstretched limbs on the couch in the living room, chest rising and falling evenly in sleep. You aren't sure when he got up to let you sleep on your own—you hardly even remember falling asleep, but the sight of him causes your heartbeat to even back out for a moment.

That doesn't last long, though—it's only an instant before your barely-awake mind remembers what had caused him to spend the night in the first place, and you immediately feel that now-familiar twinge of sorrow in your chest.

And it doesn't go away—no, that feeling hangs heavy in your chest. You know, then and there, that it's going to be a weight you'll carry around for a long time.

III. WINTER.

You're right on all accounts.

You never flat out tell the rest of your coworkers what happened between you and Yeonjun, but they must be able to read between the lines—all of them tiptoe around you for weeks. Even Soobin never teases you at work anymore, which you almost miss. You aren't a piece of glass, after all—but with the way that everyone treats you at work, you'd think you were.

But maybe there's some truth to their treatment. Not a day goes by that you don't think about Yeonjun's words—that he'd basically just gotten bored with you. You know he'd said you hadn't done anything, but you had to have done something for that to occur, right? It didn't make any sense otherwise.

You are proud of yourself when your track record for "crying over Yeonjun" goes from every day to once a week, but that doesn't mean that it doesn't still hurt. Just like the love you'd known from him had been something beautiful like you'd never experienced, you've never known anything as painful as this.

So much of your identity before had been being Yeonjun's partner. For Christ's sake, he was the whole reason you'd been able to get this job at the library in the first place—and now you have to distance yourself from that. You have to. You don't have another choice.

At one point, Beomgyu does suggest going out for drinks after work with Soobin. "Everyone's going," he adds gently, as if that will somehow be the thing to convince you to pull yourself out of your mental wallowing. "Won't be as fun without you, though."

You force a smile across your lips. You do still remember how to do that, right? Smile? "I, um...I'll have to catch you guys next time. I'm busy that night."

Beomgyu's eyes narrow. "I haven't told you what day we're going out yet, Y/N."

You wince. "Beomgyu, I—I'm sorry. I really appreciate you trying, but I just don't think I'm there yet. I'm sorry."

He rolls his eyes a little at that. "I think this is exactly what you need right now, personally. We'll make sure you have fun, I promise. So much fun that you won't even think about old what's-his-name the entire night."

You know good and well that Beomgyu remembers Yeonjun's name, and that he's practically putting on a show to convince you to go get drunk with him and Soobin and God knows who else—but you can't. Not yet. So you turn him down again, and this time he finally relents, taking the hint and leaving to sort through the returned books bin. Going out and getting drunk enough to forget Yeonjun probably is what you need right now—but you know you aren't there yet (Even admitting the 'yet'—the knowledge that you eventually will be at that point, whether you like it or not—is painful). Wanting to forget Yeonjun is accepting that what the two of you had is over, and truth be told, you aren't ready to do that. You're fully in denial—and you know it.

But that doesn't mean you're in the right state of mind to do anything about it. For God's sake, you haven't even been able to go through the photo album of you and Yeonjun on your phone yet and delete a single photo. The scraps of sanity that still call out to you occasionally within your mind tell you that you need to delete those photos of the two of you, that seeing them later will just make you feel worse—but you can't. Any act of cementing the end of the relationship is still just nothing short of unthinkable to you.

You're very much a prisoner of your own mind for the rest of the semester, whether or not you're willing to admit it, as you continue replaying Yeonjun's last words to you in your head, over and over. And over. And over. And over again. It's unhealthy—you know that. But you don't stop. You can't stop thinking about what you should have done differently to prevent this. Sure, he'd said you hadn't done anything, but that must have been a polite lie. Something must have happened. Had you been overbearing? Annoying? Had you changed, somehow? Had he?

Your friends and coworkers all tread lightly around you for the first month or so after the breakup, checking on you occasionally and reminding you that everything will be alright eventually (a lie, you know). Beomgyu gives you the notes from your morning class whenever you skip. Kai covers for you when you call out of work. Soobin looks the other way when you take fifteen minute bathroom breaks (which usually end up with you crying in the stall) and doesn't say a word when you come back, eyes puffier than before.

But that's exhausting to keep up with—you know that. Everyone becomes less forgiving around the middle of the semester—you still haven't gotten over that guy? What's wrong with you? You're still missing class and falling behind on assignments? Why can't you get a grip? No one says this out loud to you, of course, but you can pick up on the subtext—the implications between a shared glance between Beomgyu and Kai at work when you're almost late, between your friends when you tell them you have to finish an essay that was due yesterday—looks that pierce like a dagger to your stomach. Everyone is sick and tired of you.

Well—almost everyone. Kang Taehyun is a different story altogether.

You fully expected him to behave like everyone else—why wouldn't he? The two of you were friends, and good friends, at that, before your life as you'd known it had imploded in on itself, but you wouldn't have considered him to be a best friend by any means. Maybe you had missed some kind of memo, though—because if the way he's treated you since Yeonjun broke up with you is any indicator, his feelings towards your friendship are not at all what you'd thought they were.

Not a day goes by that you don't eat at least two meals a day, and that's because Taehyun is checking on you daily to make sure you've eaten. More than once, he's driven over to your house with food from his pantry to ensure there is something in your apartment to eat. He helps you stay on top of your schoolwork, too—hell, the only reason you even remember to do that essay at all is because Taehyun reminds you. And yet, these reminders never feel like a scolding, or like he's judging or chastising you—rather, it just feels like he's looking out for you. He's the only person looking out for you, you think—maybe even more so than yourself.

Which is why it surprises you, one cold, melancholy November evening as the two of you walk home from class, when Taehyun suggests talking to Yeonjun again.

Your eyes widen. "What?"

Taehyun nods, shifting his shoulders as he adjusts his backpack. "Sure. I...I think it would be good for you to get more closure from the whole thing. That's what's keeping you so upset, isn't it? That you don't really get why he did it?"

You suppose there's an element of truth to that. You certainly don't understand Yeonjun's actions—but the truth of the matter is that you aren't ready to let him go. You weren't three months ago when he called you, and you still aren't now. The ache in your chest that you've felt for so long hasn't subsided in the least—like a knife that only digs deeper every time you remember it's there.

But you nod anyway. "Yeah, I...I guess that's part of it. But—I can't just text him, Taehyun. What the hell am I supposed to say? 'Hi Yeonjun! Miss you, hope you haven't been feeling the same soul-crushing loneliness that I have for the past three months?'"

Taehyun winces at that before turning to face forward again, gazing at the sidewalk ahead of you with a sigh. "Maybe not quite like that. But...I don't know. He said he wanted to be friends, right? I don't see why you couldn't at least try."

But you don't want to be friends with Yeonjun—that's been the problem. Not just friends. You want to let yourself love him again, to feel that kind of tenderness and contentment and perfect warmth like you've never felt from another person before.

But that clearly is no longer an option on the table for you. What Taehyun is suggesting, however, might be. Maybe he's right. Something would be better than nothing with Yeonjun. Wouldn't it?

This conversation is how you find yourself later that night with your phone on your bed in front of you, fingers shaking slightly over the keypad from the nervous weight you feel at the bottom of your stomach. You've already typed out the entire message. You should just send it.

< hey, did you mean what you said about being friends?

God, why are you so nervous? It's not like you don't know the man—for Christ's sake, you spent over four years of your life convinced that you knew just about everything there was to know about Yeonjun. You knew about his favorite flowers, the piercings he wanted to get, how comically tremendous his appetite could sometimes be and how he'd always compliment your cooking, regardless of how you felt about it—but maybe none of that had mattered. You hadn't known that he'd felt bored with the relationship. You'd let that knowledge slip past you, somehow.

You press send on the message before you can talk yourself out of it, turning your phone over and stepping into the bathroom to take a shower, hoping you can think about something, anything else to hide the bubbles of anxiety floating upwards into your chest at the thought that Yeonjun may have responded already.

You practically leap out of the shower when you're finished, hair still dripping beads of water down your back as you wrap a towel around yourself, making your way back into your bedroom and grabbing for your phone.

Your eyes widen.

> yeah, i did.

> would you be okay with that?

The anxiety within your chest dissipates like hot water under the sun, if only for a moment. Your Yeonjun, and the effect he still has on you.

< yeah, i would.

His reply comes only a few minutes later.

> okay. cool :)

> i actually thought about sending this to you the other day. reminded me of you

[link]

Attached is a link to a YouTube video—a piano rendition of a song you'd listened to all the time (and probably forced Yeonjun to listen to in the process) when you'd first begun dating. It sounds beautiful on piano, the melody a bright cascade of hopeful and energetic sounding chords, and you feel your chest tighten with warmth as the video keeps playing.

It had made him think of you.

The warmth you'd felt in your chest before suddenly shifts to a suffocating cold. This is probably a bad idea. Yeonjun saying he wants to be friends probably means just that—that he wants to be friends. Nothing else. You, of course, don't feel that way at all, if the way your heart had soared when you saw his message is any indicator. You're just going to get attached again to someone you know doesn't feel the same way about you. You're only setting yourself up for more heartbreak—part of you knows that.

But you don't stop yourself from playing the video again, butterflies rushing through your stomach.

~~~

The weeks leading up to winter break are infinitely better than the beginning of the semester. You're comfortably caught up and staying on top of all your assignments. When Soobin assigns you more hours at the library, you don't utter a word of protest. One of your professors even comments on how much better you've done on this last essay than your first of the semester.

Taehyun seems pleased to see you in better spirits too. He still checks on you just about every day, but there seems to be less urgency in his messages. He's not as concerned as he was a few weeks ago, and you almost feel a twinge of...something at that thought, not quite regret but not quite disappointment, either—but you brush it away just as quickly.

Thoughts like those are easy to push away now that you're speaking to Yeonjun again.

If it was one of your other friends in your situation, you think, you'd probably be concerned with how fast they turned around on their ex-boyfriend, going from being completely, utterly heartbroken to gushing over a cute TikTok he'd sent—but you ignore those thoughts when they come, too. Maybe you are making a bad decision by trying to be friends with Yeonjun, but you can't find it in yourself to care enough to stop. This momentary happiness is worlds away from the unbearable heartbreak you'd felt before, even if it is likely temporary. Besides, there haven't been any repercussions of this choice yet, anyway.

Yet being the key word.

A few days before fall break, Soobin approaches you, Taehyun, and Kai in the middle of your shared shift, the three of you definitely doing the work he'd assigned to you and definitely not talking behind the counter about a movie you're making plans to go see after your shifts end.

Soobin clears his throat, and the three of you jump, turning to face him. He lets out a sigh. "Are all three of you going home for break?"

You all shake your heads no.

He perks up a bit at that. "Oh. Okay. Good! The library isn't going to be open all week, but we're still doing limited hours. Would any of you be open to working over the break? It'll be time-and-a-half pay."

Kai suddenly grabs for his phone in his back pocket, even though you don't think you heard it buzz. "Huh—look at that. My mom just texted and said she actually does want me to come home for the break now. Sorry!"

Soobin makes an exasperated frown, but he doesn't say anything else to Kai, turning to you instead. "Y/N?"

You shrug. "Sure, I can work. I'll be here anyway."

Taehyun suddenly shifts, standing up a little taller beside you. "Me too. I don't mind."

Soobin nods. "Okay, great. Thanks, you guys. I'll be here the first day, but the other four days it'll be just you two here. So..." he takes in a slow breath. "Don't do anything stupid. Okay?"

You can practically feel Taehyun fighting back a grin beside you out of the corner of your eye, and you have to bite your tongue to keep a laugh of your own from escaping you at Soobin's remark. "Okay, boss," you say, bringing a hand to your forehead in an overly enthusiastic salute. "We won't."

Taehyun and Kai both snort at your words, but Soobin just crosses his arms. "I mean it. Don't do anything I wouldn't do, okay? Or...anything I wouldn't let either of you do. You know what I mean." He narrows his eyes.

But you just laugh. "I promise, Soobin. We'll be fine. It's just limited hours, like you said, right? And it'll be over the break. We'll probably be the only ones in the library the whole week. What could go wrong?"

His frown only deepens at that. "...I don't even think I want to imagine that," he says before walking away, and the three of you only let out giggles once he's out of earshot. Truthfully, as much as you enjoy teasing Soobin with your other coworkers, you really don't think working over the break will be bad at all.

And in truth, it isn't the working part that ends up being the problem. It's what happens when you're at work.

To absolutely no one's surprise, the library is completely, utterly dead over the break. You can count on both hands the number of people that walk in for the first three days as you and Taehyun stand behind the counter, chatting quietly until you run out of things to talk about. By noon on Thursday, the two of you are the only people in the library, scrolling on your phones aimlessly with your shoes propped up against the help desk as the soft scratch of classical music plays over the speakers above you.

You smile when you see you've gotten a message from Yeonjun, opening your messages to see what he's sent now. Out of the corner of your eye, you can see Taehyun giving you a knowing smirk in response to the grin tugging at the corners of your mouth—but you can't hide it. You wouldn't dare, you think.

It's a video of Yeonjun talking, telling you about a baby that kept waving to him on the plane back from his university. His fall break is the same week as yours, so he's going home today to spend the rest of the weekend with his family.

You take a quick response video, teasing him about his and the baby's apparent shared brain cells before going back to your mindless scrolling.

Or—you try to, at least. The moment your Instagram feed refreshes, you find yourself staring, unblinking at the first post on your page.

It's from Yeonjun's account. It's a picture of him at the airport. And he isn't alone. Standing beside him, arms wrapped around his middle with his around their neck, eyes closed and lips turned upward in a practically radiant smile, is a girl. She looks like she's been caught off guard by Yeonjun, but she's not disappointed about it by any means, if the candid joy radiating from her expression is anything to go by. You glance down at his caption.

thankful for you.

There's only one comment so far, which you're assuming is from her.

SO happy to spend this week with u <3

He might as well have put up a neon sign, you think. You know you can't know for sure, but you almost feel like this was directed at you—the caption, at the very least. Yeonjun has a girlfriend. He's moved on from you, in every sense of the phrase.

Taehyun must have noticed your suddenly expressionless face, because you see him frown across from you out of the corner of your eye. "Everything alright over there?"

You extend your arm towards him, showing him your phone screen wordlessly. His eyes widen. "Is that...no fucking way. He has a girlfriend?"

You nod, that all-too-familiar lump in your throat making its presence known once again. "Yeah," you reply, avoiding his stunned gaze. "I guess so."

Taehyun doesn't look away from you, even after you draw your arm back into your lap. "Y/N," he starts, quietly. Speaking to you the way you'd speak to a wounded animal—gently, but as if you could practically explode at any moment. It almost makes you feel worse. "Are you..." he stops, trailing off before he can even finish the thought before shaking his head. "Do you want to take a break for a minute?" He gestures with his head towards the punch clock on the wall behind the two of you.

But you shake your head. "No, I...I don't think so," you say. As strange as it seems, you don't feel nearly as upset as you did when Yeonjun had called to break up with you. Seeing that he's already moved on feels like ripping a metaphorical band-aid off. In a way, you sort of needed to see that he's moved on—that your hopes that the two of you could get back together, somehow, were foolish. Maybe this neon sign of an Instagram post is exactly what you needed.

Taehyun, however, doesn't seem entirely convinced, frown only deepening at your words. "Are you sure? We can get out of here, you know. It's just us in here right now."

You shake your head again. "No. We've still got nearly another hour—I don't think Soobin would be very happy if he found out we closed the library early just because I flipped out over Yeonjun again," you say, laughing weakly.

He snaps his fingers at you. "So you admit it! You are flipping out!"

You roll your eyes, crossing your arms across your chest. "That is not what I—"

But Taehyun is already taking off his nametag, placing it under the counter and grabbing the keys for the front door. He turns around once he's within a few feet of the front door, gazing at you expectantly. "Well? Come on."

You gesture with your arm at the library before you. "Taehyun, you've got to be joking. We cannot just get up and leave. What if someone needs to come study?"

He raises an eyebrow at you. "You think someone's going to need to come study? Over fall break? The day of the holiday? Not a chance."

"How are we going to punch out then, smart guy?" you ask indignantly.

But Taehyun just shrugs. "I'll just tell Soobin tomorrow that we both forgot, and he'll have to enter our punch-out times manually. Shouldn't be a big deal."

But you narrow your eyes at him. "'Shouldn't be a big deal?' You seriously think Soobin won't find it a bit suspicious that we both just happened to forget to punch out as we were leaving?"

"Not really. Look..." he says, starting softer this time. "If something happens, I'll take the fall for it. Alright? You need to get out of here."

You take another glance at the empty, quiet library. It's only an hour early. Maybe Soobin won't find out, somehow, by some miraculous stroke of luck that you know you don't exactly tend to have—but that lump in your throat hasn't gone away since you saw the picture of Yeonjun. So you nod. "Okay," you say, pulling your nametag off and sliding it under the desk beside Taehyun's, an action that wins you a growing smile on the man's face. "Let's get out of here, then."

You follow him out of the library, watching him lock the door and swallowing the momentary twinge of guilt at his actions.

Taehyun seems to read your mind, though. He looks up at you once the doors are locked. "Don't chicken out on me now. Okay? I promise. We'll be okay."

You nod wordlessly. "Let's just get out of here, then."

He smiles at you—that big ear-to-ear grin that causes nearly all of your worries to dissipate at just the sight. "That's the spirit. Come on. Are you up for going for a drive?"

"Sure," you say, nodding. Anywhere is better than being here, slowly falling into the trap of your own thoughts that you thought you'd narrowly escaped a month ago.

So you get in Taehyun's car once again, gazing out the window at the sun slowly lowering against the horizon, oranges and pinks spreading across the sky as if they were deliberate brush strokes from some invisible hands—just as beautiful as those paintings you and Yeonjun had gazed at that day you both whispered your mutual confessions to each other.

You shove that thought away just as Taehyun parks the car, and you look out the windshield to see where you are. You're at the top of a tall hill, trees around you on all sides as you gaze down at the college town before you. It looks so small from this distance, you think.

"I've never been here before," you say, turning to look at Taehyun. "I didn't even know this place existed."

He nods, still looking at the city below the two of you. "Beomgyu took me here once after a really bad shift. Got yelled at by some grad student for not having an extra copy of a textbook for them to loan when they had an exam tomorrow—you know the drill. It's a good spot to clear your head, I think."

You find that you'd have to agree the longer you stare down at the city, thinking about the perspective it affords you.

"We don't live in a huge college town, compared to some others, but there's still so, so many people down there. You know?" Taehyun says, as if he's reading your thoughts. Again. How is he so good at that? "I don't want you to ever think one person is the only person you could ever be with. That he's the only chance you'll ever get at love—that just can't be possible."

You know what he means. You even think it's true—you know it is, logically. But that doesn't mean this lingering heartbreak aching in your chest, in your lungs, in your veins, hurts any less. "Damn you, Kang Taehyun," you say quietly. "You make too much sense."

He laughs at that, finally tearing his gaze away from the city before him and turning to face you.

But you aren't finished, taking a deep breath before you continue. "I should've never let myself care about someone this much. This—this whole thing," you say, waving your arm in front of you in a vague gesture, "is just so stupid."

He frowns at that. "No," Taehyun says, shaking his head. "This isn't stupid. You're not stupid."

You shake your head right back. "I let being Yeonjun's partner be my most important trait. It was all I cared about—he was all I cared about. I shouldn't have done that, shouldn't have put him on such a pedestal like that."

Taehyun mulls your words over for a moment. "Maybe," he says. "But I don't think you should be mad at yourself for loving him. There's nothing wrong with that. And I think you've learned and grown through the relationship—you'll probably be a better partner in the next one you're in, too."

That thought still stings—of another relationship, of giving up completely on Yeonjun. Even though he's obviously given up on you. "I just don't know what I did wrong. I have to have done something—a relationship doesn't just end like that. Does it?" Yeonjun had been so many of your firsts—and now, he was the first person to ever break up with you. You'd always been the one in charge of that in the brief relationships you'd had before him, the ones that hadn't left nearly the kind of impact Yeonjun had had on you.

Taehyun shrugs lightly. "I don't have that much experience, but I can tell you that sometimes that is exactly what happens. People really can fall out of love—of course, that's because of their own feelings. Not usually anything to do with the other person," he adds quickly. "If anything, it says how much more equipped you are to handle a long-term, long-distance relationship than he is. You're the mature one. He's not."

"Clearly not," you scoff. "I'm still the one crying over him, and he's already moved on. Sounds like he's more mature than I am."

"That I disagree with," Taehyun counters immediately. "The fact that it's still upsetting you means that the relationship meant something different to you than it did to him—he must not have taken it as seriously as you. And that's his fault."

You're quiet for a moment after that. The sun has almost completely set now, dusk enveloping the college town before you as the city lights begin to twinkle in the dark. But you still find yourself ruminating. The hollowness you feel now is almost scarier than the heartbreak—you aren't even that sad anymore. Just empty. And you tell Taehyun this. "It still scares me—feeling like I don't know who I am now. I feel like I built up an entire imaginary future with him—and now I don't know what to expect of anything anymore."

Taehyun takes a breath as he nods. "I know," he says gently. "But the future is always like that. You know? Nothing's ever guaranteed, no matter how much we cling to the things we care about. Still—I want you to know that you're so, so much more than being someone's partner. I think you're incredibly clever, and funny, and smart, and beautiful—don't you dare look at me like that, Y/N," he says, only somewhat teasingly as you raise your eyebrows at that last addition. "I'm serious. It's okay to care about someone, but I want you to know that you are still worth so, so much as your own person. Regardless of whether you're with someone or not."

You wish you had better words to say to Taehyun—poetic, soft words to thank him in the same way that he's comforting you. Instead, you let the silence speak for you, losing yourself to the soft hum of Taehyun's radio and the glittering stars that have finally come out in the sky. It's a comfortable silence, though—and you feel those knots of worry and heartbreak at the pit of your stomach slowly start to untangle themselves. Just a little—but they do nonetheless.

It's long past nightfall when Taehyun finally drives you home, telling you goodnight and looking like there's more that he wants to say, even as he drives away—but you find yourself content in the moment anyway, even when you get ready for bed and slip under your covers.

But that doesn't mean the pain has gone away entirely.

Taehyun had told you to call him if you started feeling down about the whole situation, but when you wake up in the morning and feel that familiar heavy sorrow in your chest, you don't tell Taehyun a thing. Instead, you let yourself lie on your side and bring your knees up to your chest and weep, burying your face in the pillowcase until it's practically soaked through from your tears. You let yourself cry for yourself—for the version of you who has died, for the Yeonjun you had loved for so long and with such intensity, and for you now who will never again be the person you were before.

It would be different if the two of you had ended things dramatically, you think—if Yeonjun had cheated on you, or if you had been an unsupportive partner—but none of those things happened. It just ended. And he has already moved on, the way you imagine a normal person does.

Somehow, you think, that still makes it worse.

But you think back on what Taehyun had said to you last night, even as you brush away the tears staining your cheeks. Choi Yeonjun is not the only person in the world—it doesn't make sense to think of him as the only person who could ever love you. Yes, your relationship coming to an end still hurts like nothing you've ever experienced before—but already you can feel that ache subsiding, even if those moments are few and far between. Yeonjun had fully severed what was left of the two of you, but it now feels to you like it was necessary. Like it was something you needed—the beginning of a new path for you.

~~~

The rest of the semester goes by in a blur after fall break. You're so caught up in the mess of finals and work that you barely have time to think about anything else, let alone what's left of your feelings towards Yeonjun.

If Soobin knows about you and Taehyun closing early and conveniently forgetting to punch out, he never says a word—but you do work considerably more hours than usual in the weeks leading up to your final exams. Soobin says it's the busiest time of the year for the library, so he needs all hands on deck to help all the students coming in and out. Which you do believe—but you still have a sneaky feeling that you and Taehyun are working more than Beomgyu and Kai.

You wonder if your professors are all in some kind of secret conspiracy to make their students suffer as much as possible, since all five of your exams are stacked over the course of three days. You survive, even after pulling an all-nighter to prepare, which does mean that you should be able to relax at the end of the week while your other coworkers are still cramming. On Friday, though Beomgyu and Kai still have one last final, which is why you and Taehyun both find yourselves working a double to cover for them while they take their exams. It's a long shift, full of snappy students and an exhausted Soobin—by the time 10 p.m. finally rolls around, you feel yourself on the verge of collapsing as you clock out with Taehyun.

Your favorite coworker raises an eyebrow at your exhausted state. "You alright?" he asks, tapping at his shirt collar before extending a hand to you.

Your nametag. Christ, you'd almost forgotten. You sigh, nodding as you slip your nametag off of your shirt before placing it in Taehyun's waiting palm, who then moves to slide it under the front counter with his and your other coworkers' tags. "You mean you don't feel like you're about to pass out after that? I thought today would never end."

He laughs a little as the two of you walk towards the front door. "Sure I do. But you saw what Kai sent in the work chat, right? He and Beomgyu are going out later tonight now that they're done with finals. Of course, I'm not sure if that means they feel like they did good or bad, to be honest—but I guess we'll know when we get there. I told them I'd meet them once we were done with work."

You laugh too, pulling your car keys out of your pocket now that you're only a few feet from your respective vehicles. "Yeah, I saw it. But you guys can go ahead—I think I need to turn in early tonight. I'll see you all after the break, okay?"

The look on Taehyun's face fades a little, and he stops walking right in front of your cars. "Are you sure? It might be fun—you know how funny Beomgyu gets."

You stop walking too, standing beside him. The thought of tipsy Beomgyu does bring back fond memories of work parties past—the occasion where he tried to convince everyone to jump into a pool, fully clothed, at the house party where you all barely knew the owner was a particularly fun one—but you don't feel up for it tonight. So you shake your head. "No—I'm too tired, Taehyun. But you all have fun, seriously. Just be safe, alright?" You wink at him teasingly.

But he doesn't return the gesture. Rather, an unusual look washes over his face—an expression of determination that you aren't sure you've ever seen from him before. "You're going home tomorrow, right?" he asks suddenly.

You nod. "Yeah, I'm spending the break with my parents. Why?"

Taehyun visibly swallows before he opens his mouth again to speak. You feel a sudden uneasiness develop in the pit of your stomach just before you hear him say "I'm telling you now, then. I like you, Y/N." Suddenly. Just the way Yeonjun had in that art museum all those years ago.

The two of you are outside, but you suddenly feel like all the oxygen has been sucked out of the parking lot you're standing in. You blink. "What?"

He nods, gaze unwavering from yours. "I like you."

He's joking. He has to be. Either that, or you really did pass out in the library earlier, and this is all some kind of dream. "...You like me," you repeat, slowly. A short laugh escapes you before you can stop yourself. "What do you mean?"

"I mean exactly what I said," he says. "I know this is a pretty terrible time to tell you this, but—"

"Yes," you say, practically unable to believe what you're hearing. "Yes, Taehyun, this is a terrible time to tell me—God, why would you tell me this?"

"Because it's true," he replies almost instantly. "And I'm not telling you because I want you to say the same thing. You don't have to say anything, actually, I...I just wanted you to know."

Your heart sinks to your chest at that. "So, you...you'd confess to someone who you know won't reciprocate? Why?"

Taehyun shakes his head. "I'm not telling you because I want anything to happen. Not right now, anyway—I'm not that stupid. I think." He tries to laugh, but the sound doesn't quite come out right. "I just want you to know, in case you ever feel the same way."

In case you ever feel the same way. He doesn't think you like him back. Hell—do you? The thought of romance has been so banned from your mind for the last several months that you haven't even entertained the notion, whether it was Taehyun or anyone else in the world—but you think about that. You think about the way those feelings of tight anxiety in your chest loosen when you see that you're scheduled to work with him, how your heart beats faster when you get a notification on your phone from him—not to mention that evening you'd spent in his car on the hilltop overlooking the city. Those feelings of warmth that ignite within you every time you'd looked over at him that night probably were feelings of attraction. You just haven't been able to even entertain this thought, of liking someone else, in ages. You almost can't ever remember when—and that frightens you. "I...I think I do feel that way, though," you say. "I care about you, Taehyun. So, so much. You've been the only person I could depend on for the last three months, but...but I think you deserve better than this. God, you should know better than anyone that I'm nowhere near being over Yeonjun. That I'm in no state to even think about dating someone right now." You laugh, tone dripping with self-deprecation. "I'm a mess. I barely even remember what those feelings are even like. You have to know that anything I do in this mental state now would just be a rebound, even if I didn't want it to be, and I...I don't want to do that to you."

Taehyun nods quickly, taking a step closer. "You're not a mess. But I do know how you feel—which is why I wanted to tell you. You don't have to do anything about it now if you don't want to," he says again. "I just wanted you to know."

You shake your head, surprised to feel sudden tears of frustration brimming at the corners of your eyes. "God...Taehyun, please don't do this to me," you whisper, holding back a sniff. He's close enough to you that he can hear, even at this volume. "I don't want to lose you too." Things will never be the same between the two of you—you know this as well as you know your own name. No matter how much the two of you try to awkwardly dance around each other from now on, you'll never forget that you had this conversation. You can never go back to just being friends.

But Taehyun shakes his head fervently. "You won't lose me," he says, voice unwavering before he makes a slight move to reach for your hand out of instinct before stopping himself. "Not if you don't want to. I'll stick around for as long as you want me to."

You grab his hand anyway, even as he looks up at you in shock. "So...what? You'd wait for me?" you say, laughing quietly. "I can't ask that of you. That isn't fair to you."

He just shakes his head again. "If you want me to, I will. I'll wait as long as you need me to—I'm telling you, I don't mind."

You scoff a little at that before you can stop yourself. "You say that now, but I...I have no idea when I'll feel ready to think about being with anyone again. I'm sorry, Taehyun—but I don't know how long this could take. You know? I mean, I'd hope it wouldn't be years," you say, laughing hollowly, "but I just have no idea. And I just don't understand why you would do this—wait for me. I mean...look at you," you say, laughing nervously as you gesture vaguely towards his figure. You haven't thought about him in that way before—or maybe you haven't let yourself think of him in that way, you realize now—but you can't ignore the sharp lines of his jaw, the clearly defined strength beneath his sweater—Taehyun is beautiful. There could never be any denying it. "You're perfect, Taehyun. You could have anyone you wanted—certainly someone less fucked up than me. Someone you wouldn't have to wait to be with, I—"

But he just shakes his head. "I most certainly am not perfect—but I just want to see you happy," he replies, voice as calm and steady as ever. You wonder if this is how he imagined this conversation going. "Whether that's with me, or someone else, or on your own—that's okay. And I...you know now. I'd like for it to be with me, if that's possible," he adds, laughing a little, "but if it's not, that's okay too. You just deserve to be happy, and I want to see that happen for you."

You let his words hang in the air between the two of you for a long, long time. The only sound in the entire parking lot is the occasional soft jangling of your keys when a gust of wind passes by.

He'd wait for you.

"...I really don't know how long it will be until I can think about this," you say again, breaking the momentary silence.

But Taehyun just nods, gently squeezing your hand. You'd almost forgotten your fingers were still interlaced with his. "I'm telling you, that's okay. I'll wait as long as you want until you want to talk about this again—and if you don't want it to go any further, it doesn't have to. I just...just wanted you to know how I felt, regardless."

You nod. Before you can say anything else, though, Taehyun's phone rings from his back pocket, loudly interrupting the two of you in the otherwise empty parking lot.

He turns slightly to glance down at it, and makes a face when he sees who it's from. "It’s Kai," he says softly. "They must be wondering where I am."

"Go ahead," you say just as quietly, gesturing with your free hand towards his car. "It's okay. I...I need to think, anyway."

Taehyun keeps his gaze on you for a moment, mind clearly racing through a thousand different responses as he sets his mouth in a worried line—but eventually he nods. "Okay," he says, finally letting go of your hand. "I...I'll see you after break, then."

You nod wordlessly.

His words still echo in your mind, even as he gets in his car and offers a small wave your way.

He'd wait for you. It's more than you could ever ask for. At the same time, however, you realize that it's an admission to yourself—admitting that getting over Yeonjun is still going to be a long, difficult path to walk.

And when you're finally left in the parking lot by yourself, you find that you feel more alone than you have in a long, long time.

~~~

The winter holidays go by at a snail's pace. All you want to do is sleep off the fresh heartache your conversation with Taehyun has caused and do practically nothing all break—but you find yourself hilariously bored on your fourth day of doing "nothing."

Your parents are uncharacteristically lenient of your behavior—they used to never let you sleep in this late, especially if you were home from school after not seeing you for so long—but you know they know about you and Yeonjun breaking up. Your mother had been particularly fond of him, too. Maybe that's why she doesn't say a word when you go to bed early every night.

It's ridiculously hard to keep your mind off of Yeonjun over the holidays—couples are everywhere. Nearly every holiday movie seems to revolve around a romance, not to mention all the ones in real life that you can't stop seeing. Your friends post about spending the week with their partner's families, about seeing the other's hometown for the first time, of a surprise and sudden engagement from one of your cousins and their long-time girlfriend—it's enough to make you sick. You know that's a horrible thing to think at such happy occasions for the people you know, but the thought forms itself anyway.

Every time you feel like you've taken a step forward towards healing, towards finally, finally getting over him—you see something that sends you reeling back into that heartache and sorrow, sending you ten steps back from where you'd been. It's a vicious cycle, and as much as you beg for it to end—it doesn't. Not yet.

Because Yeonjun haunts you in your home, too. It's hard to set up decorations with your parents without thinking about how you did this last year with him—how he had held onto your waist as he reached around you into the box of tinsel, how your mother had beamed at him as he'd helped her cook, how angelic he had looked as the two of you walked around your neighborhood looking at the different lights each house had set up. They were such beautiful memories, at the time—had only made you feel more confident and cemented in your relationship with Yeonjun as each one passed. You'd hadn't ever imagined a future without him. And now you can't help but wonder if he had already felt dissatisfied with you in each of those moments.

But as unrelenting as those memories are, so is the passing of time—because you survive the winter holiday season, somehow, even with your shattered heart. Your plan is to move back into school right after the new year, which is how you end up at home on New Year's Eve. Your parents have already gone to their rooms to sleep by the time eleven o'clock strikes on the clock, and as hard as you try, you can't help but think about the fact that this is your first New Year's Eve in years that you'll be alone for.

Or so you think, anyway. The instant you see your phone screen display 12:01 A.M., it buzzes. It's a message from Taehyun.

> happy new year, y/n

The new year.

Everything has hurt so badly for months—like a wound that refuses to form a scab, because you won't let it. You're the one who won't put the bandage over the cut, who keeps digging the blade into the metaphorical wound that was you and Yeonjun every time you think about him.

But what's the alternative? Moving on? Accepting that your relationship with Yeonjun is over? That what had been the happiest years of your life up until now are through? It's unthinkable. It's unfair to that version of you who had loved him with all of your heart to just throw them away—to just lock the door and never look back.

But it's what you have to do, you realize. You won't ever feel any better until you can accept that you and Yeonjun are done, for good—and Taehyun is offering you a way out. This is the ending of what you've known up until now—but a chance to finally, finally start anew. To put the past behind you and try again.

< happy new year, taehyun.

IV. SPRING.

The spring semester hardly gives you a moment to breathe.

You vaguely remember signing up for classes right before fall break—but those weeks were such a blur that you neglected to realize this spring would be your first semester in upper division courses. In other words—you're drowning in schoolwork with scarcely an instant to yourself, let alone to sort out your lingering feelings.

And in the moments that you do have time to breathe, Yeonjun always seems to find a way to sneak to the forefront of your mind. But these recollections aren't always as painful as they were before. In one instance, you feel a wave of relief wash over you—but only for the single instant that it provides you comfort—when you remember turning down Yeonjun's offer to buy each other promise rings before he'd first left for college.

He'd pointed at them in a jewelry store the two of you had wandered into while walking downtown together. "What do you think?" he'd asked, winking.

You'd laughed. "Yeah, right. I hear getting engaged right after high school never ends up going badly for anyone."

But he'd shaken his head immediately. "Not engaged," he'd corrected gently. "They're promise rings. It's a promise to you, from me. And from you to me—that we'll wait for each other, and only each other, until we're both ready. No matter what happens."

Your heart had fluttered at the sudden declaration, cheeks flushing pink before you could stop them—but you had thought even then that it seemed like an awfully rash thing to commit to for a relationship of barely over a year. "That's...unbelievably romantic, Jjun," you'd admitted. "Even for you. Have you done something?" you'd teased, narrowing your eyes at him.

He'd gasped, putting his hands above his head in mock surrender. "I most certainly have not. Can't I just be a hopeless romantic every once in a while?"

You'd pretended to mull it over. "Hmm. Maybe on special occasions. We'll have to see if we can work out a schedule for your hopeless romantic tendencies in the future."

Yeonjun had then made a show of wiping pretend sweat from his brow. "Thank goodness."

You'd giggled, despite yourself. "I'm serious, though. It's a beautiful thought, but...do you think it's something we could come back to? At a later time?"

Ever the gentleman, your Yeonjun had nodded sweetly at you. "Of course," he'd said, taking your hand in his before leading the two of you back out of the store. "We can talk about the future whenever you're ready. I'm just as happy in our present right now, anyway."

That had certainly changed somewhere along the way, you think bitterly to yourself. But pushing past this memory still feels like a small victory, in a way. You hadn't wasted money on committing to a promise that Yeonjun had broken.

There are countless more memories that resurface in this way—but by the time they pass, you no longer taste that metaphorical blood in your mouth anymore at their recollection, no longer feel your heart yearning for them to stay the way you would have a few months ago. They just pass, and you don't think about them again after they go.

Yeonjun only texts you once. You haven't sent him a single message since his Instagram post before fall break—and of course, you imagine he knows why. You may not have expected him to break up with you when he did, but you did know him ridiculously well at one point, seemingly both inside and out—you know that he knows you well enough, too, to understand why you've suddenly gone radio silent. But he does text you once, right as the first week of your semester finishes.

> hey. is everything okay? do you want to talk?

Months ago, you think, you would have leapt at the opportunity—jumped through the screen and across space and time, practically, to have a chance to talk to him for an extended period of time, for a possible chance to win him back. Now you just feel embarrassment towards yourself for ever having felt that way.

You never respond.

Taehyun's presence in your life is different now, too. You still work together, of course, but you have several shared classes again—so you find yourself studying and comparing essays at either his apartment or yours nearly three or four times each week. It's challenging, all of it, but in between, it does make you remember why you became friends with Taehyun in the first place—because he's not like anyone else you've ever known before. Every time you want to throw in the towel on a particularly lengthy assignment, he has some witty comment that gives you just enough energy to keep going. Every time you come by his apartment, the way the corners of his eyes crinkle as he smiles upon seeing you sends a surge of warmth through you. If you have felt trapped in frigid ice since this breakup, Taehyun has been your sun, ever so gradually melting that ice away whenever you let him.

And you do let him. One night, you're leaving his apartment after exchanging study guides for one of your midterms. You walk by his side, car keys swinging softly in between your fingers.

"How are you feeling?" Taehyun asks right before you open your car door. He doesn't elaborate, but you know what he's talking about.

So you turn to him. "I, um...I don't know if this will get better," you admit quietly. It's a fear you've harbored from the start—that you'll never get over Yeonjun, your first and last—that he will have created your perception of love, molded and shaped it to his design and his alone before shattering it, leaving you to pick up the pieces for the rest of your life.

But Taehyun lets out a scoff at that. "It will. I promise, Y/N. It does get better."

You narrow your eyes at him. "How do you know that? Hmm? Are you some secret fortune teller that I don't know about? Is that how you've been able to afford such a nice apartment here?"

He laughs at you. "No. I'm not a fortune teller. But I know this much—it'll get better. I can't tell you when, because I don't know that. It's something you'll have to figure out, I think. But one day, soon, you'll wake up one morning, and it'll hurt less. And then, a little later, it won't hurt at all. It'll feel like it was a bad dream. You'll get involved in other things, other interests, other people, and then you won't think of this when you wake up in the morning at all."

You nod, slowly. "I want to believe you, Taehyun. I do. I just don't know how long that will take."

But he just shrugs again. Damn him for being so easygoing. "That's okay. You know where I'll be, regardless."

You do know where he'll be—right by your side, just like he's been for the last six months. In truth, you had expected him to fall back on his promise to wait—you would have been sad, sure, but you wouldn't have blamed him. Putting up with you moving on from a relationship over the course of half a year, now, can't have been an easy task. But you've never heard a word of complaint from him. He isn't that kind of person—you know this now. He really will stick by you for as long as you'll allow him to—a kind of affection you haven't felt from anyone in a long, long time.

But right beside you isn't the only place Taehyun seems to be. Your subconscious seems to have taken a liking to him, too—because that night, you see him in your dreams. You'd tossed and turned earlier, unable to fall asleep, throwing the sheets off the bed before you curl up into a ball and squeeze your eyes shut. When you finally find yourself lured back into sleep, you find Taehyun—strong and sweet and caring and beautiful Taehyun. He wraps his arms around you in the dream, hands grabbing hold of your waist before he presses his lips to yours in a heated kiss—as if he never wants to let you go. As if there isn't anyone else in the world that matters except for the two of you.

You wake up in the morning and weep.

Later in the day, you find tears brimming at the corners of your eyes again when you finally find the courage to delete the photo album on your phone of you and Yeonjun—but they never fall past your lashes, even when you hit the red delete button.

Perhaps you've run out of tears for him, because none fall when you package away everything else of his in your apartment—every framed photo of the two of you, every stuffed animal he'd bought, every hoodie of his you'd once promised to give back all fit neatly in a single cardboard box, sealed and never to be seen again.

Without the remnants of Yeonjun scattered throughout your apartment, you find yourself thinking of him less with each day that passes. The ghost who had once haunted every fiber of your being now seems like little more than a bad dream you've suddenly woken up from. This realization hurts you, just like the ones before it—but the hurt doesn't linger. It, too, grows faint before long, dissipated and fading away just like the rest of your relationship.

The end of the semester doesn't sneak up on you this spring. You have a lengthy presentation for your hardest class, an argumentative speech that you've practically spent all semester preparing for. You and Taehyun practice for each other for weeks beforehand, critiquing and encouraging and teasing each other the whole way through—but it's still over before you know it.

The morning after your final presentation, you don't wake up until the sun has risen high in the sky, peeking through the blinds over your window and finally raising you from sleep. You stretch as you walk over to the window, opening the blinds and peering out into the street below you. There's a couple walking on the sidewalk—and you recognize the girl as a regular from the library, the one with strawberry-colored hair whom Kai had been practically obsessed with back in the fall.

She tugs at the sleeve of the man walking beside her, pulling him into a sudden kiss, and you instantly turn away from the window, giving them a moment of privacy despite their actions being in public anyway.

Well—she obviously hadn't known about Kai's existence, but she'd still clearly been able to find some kind of happiness. The thought soothes you, in a way, and you think about how the scene below you would have made you feel six months ago. You would've been jealous, probably, and upset that you'd never experience anything like that again—but now the only thing it fills you with is longing. It makes you happy to see others experience something that you know feels like a gift. You want to experience that again too, you realize.

The instant that thought forms in your head, another memory materializes.

That's okay. You know where I'll be, regardless.

You feel your heart soar at the recollection.

Yes, Taehyun. I do.

V. SUMMER.

Taehyun texts you the very first day summer break begins.

> how'd your last final go?

> omg i meant to tell you after work yesterday but kai's parents said he could stay in the beach house this weekend

> like a very early birthday thing i think lol. it'll be a few ppl but you're more than welcome to come tomorrow if you haven't gone back home yet

The invite sends a flurry of both excitement and nervousness through you. You haven't gone back home yet—your parents aren't coming until early next week to help you move out for the summer, not to mention the fact that you haven't see Taehyun or any of your other coworkers since the end of finals week. Excited doesn't even begin to cover it, you think.

< i'll be there!

Kai, thankfully, is a relatively easy person to shop for—you have no trouble at all picking up a wristwatch you remember him talking about a few times at work. And in truth, his birthday isn't for another two months, but you imagine he needed some excuse to convince his parents to let him throw an end-of-the-school-year party—so you don't mind the expense at all.

Kai is overjoyed to see you when you arrive at the beach house, thanks to Taehyun sending you the address, and even more so when he sees the gift bag in your hands.

"You did not have to get me anything!" he exclaims, pouting, but you still see that glint of anticipation in his eyes despite his words.

You beam at him, throwing your arms around him in a quick hug. You've missed this—being with your friends and not feeling like you were putting them through hell with you. Seeing them happy with you feels right in a way that nothing else has in months. "Happy birthday, Kai," you say, pulling back so he can tear into his present (which he does almost immediately).

Taehyun is waving at you from the shallow end of the pool. "Did you bring a swimsuit?" you hear him call over Kai's shouts of excitement.

You nod, biting back a grin as you pull your shirt over your head and tug your shorts off as quickly as possible, revealing the bathing suit that you'd worn on your way over underneath. You immediately run to jump in the deep end, splashing both Taehyun and Beomgyu, if the yells and laughs you hear when you resurface are any indicator.

Beomgyu makes some excuse about needing to find the birthday cake, hauling himself up and out from the side of the pool when you start to swim over towards Taehyun.

He doesn't budge, grinning at you as you make your way towards the shallow end. "Nice of you to make an appearance," he says, winking.

"Well, I had to let you know I was here somehow, you know," you reply instantly, grinning right back.

Taehyun's smirk widens. "Of course. And I'm glad you're here, Y/N. How'd you end up doing for your finals?"

You shrug. "A’s and B’s. I'm still pretty satisfied with how that presentation for Dr. Lee went, though—how about you?"

He pushes your shoulder playfully. "Look at you! I told you you'd kill that speech. I knew you could do it."

You feel the ghost of his hand on your skin even after it's gone, shivers rippling down your spine at the thought—and that does it. You can't keep up the small talk any longer. "I have something for you," you announce, as stone-faced as you can manage. "Close your eyes."

Something flickers in his eyes—surprise? delight, even?—but it's gone just as soon as you notice it. "For me?" He laughs. "But it's Kai's birthday party."

You nod. "I know," you say. "I already gave him his present. You get one too."

Taehyun's eyes narrow. "Am I getting the same thing as Kai?"

You can't bite back the grin that tugs at your lips. "Not even close."

He seems satisfied with that, finally, so he closes his eyes. You know you'll only get one chance to do this, to do it right with the element of surprise—so you lean in as quickly as you can, before the logical side of your brain can catch up with the rest of you, and press your lips to the side of his cheek.

Taehyun looks at you, eyes wide open with surprise, until—"You missed."

You frown. "I what?"

He nods, as if that should have been obvious. "Mmm-hmm. You missed." There's only a split second for you to realize what he means before he's taken hold of your chin with two of his fingers and brought your lips to his. He's kissing you.

Taehyun is kissing you.

There are no fireworks or cannons shooting above your head, no angel floating down from the heavens to confirm that this moment has been the peak of your entire life—but kissing Taehyun is soft. Gentle. It's all the comfort he always makes you feel, has always made you feel—nothing feels more right than being pressed up against him here, with one hand cradling your chin and one settled securely on your hip as his lips move against yours.

There still aren't fireworks or cannons shooting off behind you—but what you do hear are loud whoops and cheers from your coworkers (and maybe a few fake retching noises). Taehyun pulls back a little once he hears those, dark eyes scanning your face for any signs of discomfort—but there are none. Instead, you laugh, and Taehyun does too, breath skating across your jaw as you feel more right than you have in an achingly long time. When he presses his lips to yours again, still smiling against the kiss, you feel that sensation of right, of warmth, of comfort practically coursing through your veins as you slide your arms around his neck. This, right here, is where you're supposed to be.

“You waited,” you manage to breathe out in between kisses, holding tighter to Taehyun’s shoulders above the water to steady yourself.

He smiles at you, beaming brighter and warmer than the summer sun above the two of you. “Yes, Y/N,” he whispers softly, moving his hand to cup your cheek in his palm. “And I’d do it again if it meant we would still end up right here.”

It's not the closing of one chapter and the beginning of another—life is hardly ever that smooth. It just is.

You don't know the kind of partner Taehyun is yet. You don't know that he'll almost always keep a hand on your thigh when you sit together, that he'll write a list in the notes app of his phone of your orders at each of your favorite restaurants, that he'll love to take candid photos of you to show you later, that one day the two of you will be in a very similar position to the way you are now while a small black box holds a hefty weight in his back pocket—but you don't have to know any of that yet.

You're here with Taehyun, now, your arms around him as his wrap around you, and that's what matters. The rest you can figure out together.

taglist: @petrichor-han @kangroo-chan @ot7lonelylover @lilacdreams-00 @mainexiii @awkwardnesshabitat @lotus-dly @elizabeth11moreno @nerdysl-t @seung-scrittore

©️ noramoons 2021-2022. do not translate or reupload my writing.

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adelheidvonschicksal · 4 months

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I don't even like thinking about toji taking megumis girl. Like, in my mind he's trying to atone 😪

Yes!!! Let’s talk about it!

He loves ‘Gumi so much. He was just having a bit of a ✨ emotional breakdown ✨ during that whole selling him off deal. And personally I was coming off the Shouto train so it hits twice as hard cause he always gets his GF taken by Endeavor or Dabi (sometimes Bakugo), which Dabi makes sense since he HATES Shouto. But post-atonement Enji 😭I totally get the kink though (tbh I kinda like it in reverse 🤭). There’s actually a really GOOD fic I like called U&I with Bully!Megumi and you sleep with Toji to kinda get back at him after finding out he’s been using you. I like the revengeful ones or when it’s a 2-parter and they find out what you did.

BUT I DIGRESS, okay so I got some big brainrot and I was half asleep and started thinking about it and ahh! Plus I didn't post for his birthday so this is like the most slap together, grammarless of my brain rotting (and you brought it about Nonnie, so you gotta take responsibility lol) but:

»»———-　　———-««

(SFW) Imagine okay, like a modern AU: Toji is trying to be a better dad after the endless benders after losing his wife. He went from floating from random woman to woman, trying to catch that feeling again like when he was with his first wife. It always devolves into the same thing with him squeezing them dry for every penny he can get before moving on to the next with Megumi in tow. Sometimes it didn’t include Megumi, Toji would leave him alone for weeks to months at a time as he got older, occasionally bringing home some new mom that he’ll eventually abandon at the end of the day or that eventually gets tired of him; tired of both of them because Megumi refused to be nice to anyone Toji brought home.

But it finally hits him to be better, to try to be a good parent. Sadly, it’s too late. Megumi is a teenager now, one year from graduating high school and going to college, where Toji will definitely not have any chance to atone. He doesn’t blame the kid, it’s his own fault.

However, he sees a lot of himself in his son. The apathy that borders depression, the lone wolf attitude, the quietness and independent streak, the very small number of friends (if any, because Megumi NEVER brings anyone over or talks about school at all, usually avoids talking to him in general). He isn’t really sure what to say to the kid, not that he’s figured it all out himself or that Megumi would even listen to him. Indifference was the best he could hope for most of the time.

Then one day, he shows up at home with someone. A girl, even. And you’re cute, way too chipper to be following around his wallflower of a kid. Always entering and leaving with a “Hi, Mr. Fushiguro. Bye, Mr. Fushiguro. Looking good today, Mr. Fushiguro. Love the haircut, Mr. Fushiguro. Rocking that sweater, Mr. Fushiguro. Have a good day, Mr. Fushiguro.”

You seem too good for nobodies like them; and when he teases Megumi with the notion, his son claims you’re just his class partner for this semester, nothing else. But Toji sees how soft he gets around you, the little bit of extra effort he puts in trying to make conversation when you’re over, the blush and grouchy embarrassed complaints he makes whenever Toji tells him to leave his room door open when you guys work on projects in there. The complaints usually get a little quieter given the right laugh from you.

You have a good effect. Megumi seems a little less tense, walking the world with a little less cynicism even though it’s still clearly there. He starts hanging out with two other kids from his school, Megumi claims they’re your friends, not his, but Toji has seen the pink haired boy over twice without you. Overall, you all seem like a really good kids.

One weekend you pop because you and your friends were in the neighborhood and wanted to see if Megumi wanted to join in on whatever you’re doing. Unfortunately, Megumi’s not home, but it gives Toji a small window to prod you a little about your relationship with Megumi. He’s observant enough to notice by now that the two of you like each other but he just wanted to hear it from you, and you make the most darling lovesick face when he asks. As far as he can piece together, you’re not dating officially but the entire world treats you as you are.

When Megumi finds out what happened though. He doesn’t like it, and he makes it clear that the interference was highly unappreciated it. Toji is simply sitting in the kitchen and trying to enjoy his apple, and he’s getting the interrogation treatment by this little gremlin (affectionately) half his size.

“What were the two of you talking about?” “Nothing in particular.” “If you don’t need anything then don’t bother her.” “Why? You don’t want me speaking to her?” “No. She isn’t your type anyway.”

Then, Megumi starts going off on a tangent of why Toji shouldn’t be interested. You’re too young, you're still months off from 18, you don’t have any money for him to leech, and there’s no way you can decide on a movie together with that age gap; 'You’ll kick the bucket 30 years before her' is the meanest one though.

Based on the disrespect, it still looks like Toji has a lot of work to put in but it’s almost cute, in an grouchy, bratty (also affectionately) sea urchin type way that he’s getting so worked up over you. He thinks the kid will combust if he mentions that he does think you’re cute (in an overly energetic bubbly kind of way), and it makes him release a short chuckle as he resists the intrusive thought, which only serves to make Megumi’s frustration even worse.

Normally, he'd get tired at this point and ask if Megumi was done mouthing off yet, but this time it makes him glad to see Megumi getting so worked up over something. It’s a good feeling to know his actions didn’t completely ruin his son, that he didn't completely destroy Megumi's ability to care about life like his former family and the world had once done to him. It makes smile the tiniest bit even as Megumi seems to try to trudge away after making his point. Whatever point there was to be had. The boy is such a chronic overthinking about everything and everyone, including if you’re one of those girls at the school that squeal when they see him pick him up at school on the rare occasion.

“Hey,” Toji calls out to get his attention. “Do you know what you’re doing?” It’s not the best words but it’s the only way to sum up the familiar feelings he gets of his past, right after he left his family, right before he met Megumi’s mom. And after losing her without ever really making the most of everything back then and treasuring the moments together. “It’s hard to find something like that. Don’t do anything you’ll regret.”

He can sense the tension draining from Megumi, the panic and shaky nervousness from seconds ago leaving in the form of drooped shoulders and a soften, mildly confused expression as he looks back at him. Something seems to finally click in that overly worked brain of the younger Fushiguro and he mumbles, “I know.”

And Megumi gets that look again, that quiet one, too caught up in his own head.

"Do I need to make room for a daughter-in-law in that case?" he asks lazily before taking another bite of his apple, the chewing echoing. It's enough to earn some grumbles and a red face. He smirks when the boy quickly decides to hobble back to his room and hide away in embarassment. Like a normal kid.

And Toji thinks that maybe…a small maybe… that maybe they’ve gotten a little closer. If only in that moment. Regardless, he really hopes that the talk is one of those things the school already covered because he really doesn’t want to be responsible for that.

#megumi x reader #megumi fushiguro x reader #jjk x reader #jujutsu kaisen x reader #megumi fluff #female reader

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blueraineshadows · 11 months

Note

Hi! So this is the request, if I can actually put it into words 😅

MCs first time (Ever) and it happens with Garreth.

They've all left Hogwarts and gone on to do their own thing. They are around the age of 20/21?

All through their time at Hogwarts Garreth and MC had strong feelings for each other, but neither of them had the courage to actually act on them.

MC is working somewhere in the ministry and so she had moved to London. Garreth maybe pursued his passion for potions but stayed close to Hogsmeade or one of the surrounding Hamlets. They lost touch for a few years. I'd like Garreth to have had a few romances with other witches, but none of them really stuck because he still thinks about MC often.

One of their Hogwarts mutual friends holds a party and invites them both. (Poppy? Natty?)

MC and Garreth reunite and get drunk together, having loads of fun. There's obvious sexual and emotional tension between them.

They end up confessing their feelings and things start to get heated between them, but MC is very worried and embarrassed because she's actually a virgin. She just didn't feel right being with anyone else that way.

Basically I need Garreth to give her her first time, him being experienced and she's not. But it will be lovely and sexy and beautiful because its with him. 🙈🫣💖

Love you! 💖

What a lovely Garreth request!! 😍 ❤️ A perfect fic for Weasley Wednesday ❤️

Garreth Weasley x F!MC ❤️🌶

Fluff - lots/virginity loss/smut

Garreth lay awake, watching the dawn light break around the edge of the curtains at his window, the steady sleeping breaths of a woman beside him. He looked down at her. She was pretty. Raven black hair, full lips. Last night had been fun.

But, that's all it was. Nothing more.

She had hopes for more, if her hints were anything to go by, but he just couldn't bring himself to make that next step. Not with her, nor the others that had come before her.

Maybe he was a rake, happy to bed them, but never to wed them. But he didn't want to 'settle' with just any girl. None of them made his heart pound that little bit faster, none of them had ever made him ache to be with them again once parted. None of them were her.

He was making tea when his bed mate came down, wrapped in a bath robe. He frowned a little. He had hoped she would have dressed by now. He had to open the shop this morning and he hated these awkward mornings after the night before. Guilt was a slippery thing and he didn't think it suited him.

She moved towards him, slipping her arms about his waist. He tensed a little. "Tea?" He asked. "I can pour you a cup. But I can't hang around I'm afraid. I've got to open up."

She pouted. "No more time for fun?"

"No, sorry," he said. He hated being so cold, but he stepped out of her grasp.

He tried not to focus on the disappointment clouding her face as she tugged the robe a little tighter about herself. She took the offered tea mug and sat at the table. She picked up an invitation card that was laying there. "What's this? A party?" Her eyes grew hopeful. "Do you have a date?"

Garreth inwardly groaned and leant forward to pluck the card from her fingers. "I wasn't going to attend. I'm...er...that's a busy weekend for me."

She eyed him, sipping her tea. He shoved the invite into his pocket, cringing at his terrible lying, and drained the last of his own tea. He glanced at the clock. He was going to be late.

She got up with a sigh. "Don't worry, I will see myself out."

He winced. "Sorry," he said, awkwardly.

....*....

After a long shift pouring over ancient parchments, MC was looking forward to a soak in the bath, and some sleep. If she had to read the words 'Ancient Relic' one more time, she thought her eyes might actually start to burn out of their sockets.

Usually, she loved her job. Keeper of Ancient Archives had it's moments, turning up some fascinating history and lore. But, just lately, MC had felt like she was sinking under it all, losing her passion for it. Maybe she spent too long in her cramped office. It was that, or face her time alone, because that was the truth of the matter. She was alone.

The last man who had tried to court her had been sent away, tail between his legs, her cold refusal ringing in his ears. She wasn't interested. And half the men who tried were only interested because of who she was, because of what she had done when she was 15. It was tiresome.

Not even the handsome ones turned her head. It was hard not to compare them to the one she had regretfully let slip through her fingers. But, she had to stop dwelling on him. No doubt he had married some comely witch, set up home and maybe had a child already.

She wouldn't know. After chasing a career in the Ministry and moving to London, she had slowly severed most of her ties with her teenage past. If Garreth Weasley had indeed married, then she would rather not know. Her heart didn't want to be reminded of what she had left behind.

Her apartment was small, piles of books leaned precariously on every surface, clothing was draped over a chair. She was a tad untidy, easily distracted, but mostly, it just didn't feel like home and she lacked the enthusiasm to care for it. She attempted to tidy the table, shuffling papers and books. A pretty card slid to the floor and she bent to retrieve it.

It was the birthday invitation from Poppy. MC smiled down at it. The one friend from school she had kept regular contact with. She looked at the date. It was this weekend! MC bit her lip. Poppy would be most cross with her if she didn't attend. MC made a mental note to go shopping. She needed to buy a gift, and perhaps even a new dress.

....*....

The shop had been busy all morning and Garreth stifled a yawn as he restocked some Potions on the shelf. Up half the night entertaining, and then watching the day break, was catching up with him.

The bell above the door rang and he turned, his face lighting with a smile. "Good morning, Poppy!" He said. "What brings you to sunny Hogsmeade today?"

"Party preparations, of course," she said. She moved towards the counter. "You are coming aren't you?"

His hand fumbled over the pocket where he had stuffed the invitation just that morning. "Oh, yes, of course. Wouldn't miss it."

She beamed. "Great! It will be lovely to catch up with old friends."

He moved towards the counter, his step slowing a little at her words. He stared at her, a little nervous all of a sudden. "Who else is going? Anyone I know?"

Poppy's smile was excited. "Quite a few from our classes, actually," she said. "I can't wait to see them. I'm a little sad that Natty can't be there though, but her baby is due any day now, and she didn't want to travel."

He shook his head and flashed a small smile, his bachelor lifestyle seeming rather lonely at that news. "It's hard to believe sometimes that we're all grown up and starting families."

"I suppose it is, yes," she said. She gave him a curious look. "Did I mention that MC is coming too? She is actually going to tear herself away from the Ministry for the weekend."

Garreth's heart picked up it's pace. "MC? Gosh, I haven't spoken to her in years," he said. "I suppose she is married now, too."

Poppy tilted her head a little, her lips twitching into a smirk. "Actually, no," she said. "She is far too buried in her books and work. She works far too hard that one. I'm always telling her she needs more fun."

Garreth was surprised. MC was beautiful, powerful, well liked. One of life's great achievers. How no charming wizard had snapped her up yet was a mystery. If he hadn't been such a coward, perhaps he would have tried to win her heart himself. Merlin knows she had his. If only she knew it.

But then, he was just a humble shop keep, not some fancy Ministry man. What did he have to offer her?

Clearing his throat, he served Poppy her Potions she required and then went back to stocking the shop. He hadn't given a lot of thought to this party, but now he was suddenly nervous. Perhaps a visit to purchase a new jacket would be in order. It wouldn't hurt to look smart now, would it?

....*....

The large white tent had been enchanted to keep warm against the chilly evening air. Garlands of flowers decorated the poles, firefly lanterns and floating candles lit an ambient glow, and a five piece band were set up in front of the dance floor.

Tables laden with food were available, along with a bar for drinks. Guests were milling around, chatting, some at tables, whilst children ran and played outside, making the most of the fading sunset.

MC hovered in the entrance way, her hands on the skirt of her dress. It was a deep blue silk, the neckline much lower than she was used to, the sleeves delicate and just off the shoulder. She had worn long, black gloves too to compliment the lace on the dress. There were a few others wearing similar necklines, but MC felt a little self conscious, exposed.

Opting for some courage, she headed for the bar in search of something that would burn on the way down.

"MC!"

She turned and a little flurry of white and yellow hurtled to embrace her. A laugh huffed from her lips as she hugged the birthday girl back. "Happy Birthday Poppy!"

Poppy beamed up at her. "It is so good to see you! It seems such a long time since Ominis and I visited with you in London."

"And where is that devilishly handsome husband of yours?" MC said, gazing about them.

Poppy pointed Ominis out, her face unable to hide her adoration for him. MC felt a pang of envy, not because of who, but more a case of what, she was missing. Ominis was as dapper as ever. He was chatting with another man and her jaw dropped. "My goodness, that's never Sebastian Sallow with Ominis."

"Ooo yes!" Poppy said. "Doesn't he look utterly handsome! I never thought he would come, but here he is! Last I heard he was working in America as an Auror. He has quite the reputation I hear, for duelling, and with the ladies!"

MC huffed a laugh. "Some things never change, he was always quite the charmer."

"Didn't he charm you?" Poppy raised an eyebrow.

MC laughed. "He may have tried, but I wasn't falling for it," she said.

Poppy hummed, thoughtfully. "No, you were far too busy pining for a rather impish Gryffindor, if my memory serves me correctly."

MC felt a blush warm her cheeks, she took a sip of her firewhiskey, her eyes not quite meeting Poppy's. A cheeky little smile lifted Poppy's lips. "Speaking of which...Garreth over here!"

MC nearly choked on her firewhiskey, she coughed and spluttered, patting her chest with her hand. "What?" She squeaked.

Poppy gave her a wink and waved over the man in question. MC turned watering eyes in his direction, trying to steady her breaths as he headed their way. Taller, broader, his hair as unruly and glorious as ever, Garreth Weasley still had the power to turn her insides into a flurry of butterflies.

His eyes widened at the sight of MC, his cheeks colouring up a little, but he smiled.

Oh, gods, that smile!

"Well, look who it is," he said. He took her hand, dropping a kiss onto the back of it. She cursed herself for wearing gloves, wishing she could feel the press of his lips on her skin. "MC, you look absolutely stunning."

Poppy was practically beaming with glee. She gave MC's arm a squeeze. "I'll leave you two to catch up," she whispered. Then she turned and disappeared into the crowd.

"Garreth," MC said. "How good to see you. And thank you, you look rather dashing yourself!"

Did her voice really sound as breathless as she thought? She wasn't really one for being giddy or flirty, at least she didn't think she was. It had certainly been a long time since she had tried.

"How's the Ministry treating you?" He asked.

MC gave a little sigh, and then they were chatting away, just like they used to at school. The years between then and now melting away as she told him about London, her work, laughing as he made funny quips.

"Would you like another drink?" He asked.

She looked down at her glass, empty for the third time, and nodded. "Why not?"

He got up from the table they had managed to secure and went to fetch more drinks. She watched him go, admiring the way he moved, her eyes dropping for a daring peek at his bottom. She blushed and quickly averted her gaze. It suddenly felt very warm in the tent and she fanned her hot cheeks.

It was then that the band began to play. They struck up a lively jig, the singer had a pleasing voice and MC found herself tapping her foot along to it. People began to drift onto the dance floor, taking up partners to dance with, their steps quick and lively with the beat.

Garreth returned with their drinks. "This band is rather good," he said. He had to lean closer to her ear to be heard, his breath warm against her skin, sending tiny flutters to her pulse points. "They played at my brother's wedding last summer."

She sipped her drink, her gaze dropping to his left hand. "You're not married yet, then?"

He shook his head, his eyes lingering on her. "I've not been lucky enough to catch the right girl," he said. Their eyes locked and her heart did a little flip. "What about you?"

"I haven't even been looking," she said, quickly.

He nodded. "Poppy said you work too hard."

"You and Poppy were talking about me?"

He grinned. "Only good things. She said you needed more fun in your life."

"Did she now?" MC gave a little frown. Then she gasped as Garreth took her glass from her hand and set it on the table. He clasped her hand in his and tugged her up to her feet, a playful grin on his lips. "Come on."

"What are you doing?" She asked.

He leant in close to her ear again and she shivered deliciously. "Having some fun. Let's dance."

Then his hand was at her waist and he was twirling her onto the floor. Her heart was in her mouth, she didn't dance, and the music was lively, a thundering beat. Couples swung by them, MC glancing about, a little nervous, to make sure they didn't collide. Garreth just laughed, lifting their arms to spin her about, her dress fanning outwards.

MC was getting breathless, keeping up with the pace, her heart was pounding, her face was flushed, and Garreth kept going. When the song was over, she took a breath, a hand to her chest, thinking they would stop now. But then, the band struck up the next song, the chap on the fiddle stomping his foot energetically.

Garreth caught her up in his arms again and she found herself laughing, her head falling back as they spun wildly. Her hair, once neatly coiled and pinned, was now slipping free of it's bonds, strands framing her flushed face.

MC thought of the few stuffy gatherings she had attended in London, people sipping their drinks and making polite chatter. It was a whole other world. Here, people were dancing as if their lives depended upon it, laughing freely. The room felt alive, and slowly, MC was beginning to feel the same way.

One dance had couples linking arms, spinning in light footed circles, before switching to a different partner to skip in the other direction. Men and women switched back and forth across the floor, delighting in the friendly exchange. MC tried to track where Garreth had spun off to, but it was hard, the pace of the dance making her lose track.

Then she found herself linking up with Sebastian, her eyes met his brown ones as they spun. He gave her a wink and a smirk, just like he used to years ago, and she giggled delighted, her heart feeling lighter than it had in years.

Then he was gone, and she was linking arms with a woman she didn't know, the sound of dancing feet, and the thrum of the drums keeping them forever on the move. She had forgotten what it felt like to be this free, this caught up in a moment, and it felt good.

Finally, the song ended, and the dancers could catch a breath. Panting, but smiling, her and Garreth finally paused to take a drink and a breather. She looked up at him, smiling as she met his sparkling green eyes. "You're right, this is fun," she said.

....*....

Garreth washed his hands in the bathroom, taking a quick glance at his flushed face in the mirror. He tried to calm his unruly locks, but sighed, knowing it would always be a losing battle.

MC had said she was having fun. He wasn't going to lie, holding her in his arms was the highlight of his evening so far, and he didn't want it to stop. That last song had meant sharing her with everyone else on the dance floor, and all he had wanted was to get her back in his arms where she belonged.

He had caught the moment when Sebastian had been holding her, the way she had looked up at him, delighted laughter spilling from her lips. He felt 16 again, watching her from afar, always with the Slytherin by her side.

Garreth didn't dislike Sebastian, but it certainly made his hackles rise whenever he got close to MC. He couldn't help it. He had no right, but he felt a strong sense of protection when it came to her. It was laughable really, she was blessed with her Ancient Magic, powerful and strong. And yet, he wanted to hold her like she was made of the finest porcelain.

He shook his head. Gods, he had it bad.

Returning to their table, he found her gone. He scanned the room, his eyes narrowing when he saw her, dancing with Sebastian. The music had slowed a touch, enough to mean they were moving together, closer than Garreth liked.

Sebastian was speaking into her ear, she laughed, her head bowing to graze against him. Garreth's mouth tightened. Jealousy bit at his insides. He turned away, snatched up his whiskey and downed the lot in one go.

He should go over to them, cut in, take her back in to his own arms. But he didn't. Why would she want to? Why dance with him when she could dance with a renowned Auror? Instead of going to her, he decided he needed some air, and he left the tent.

....*....

When the song ended, Sebastian gave MC a little bow and pressed a kiss to the back of her hand. "Thank you for dancing with me," he said. "It really has been good to see you again."

"Same to you," MC said. She gave him a little curtsy.

Sebastian released her hand, placing his at her elbow as he escorted her back to her table. "I meant what I said, by the way," he said. "If London and the Ministry are not living up to the dream, then it's not too late to make changes."

She nodded. "I suppose its taking that leap into the unknown," she said.

"Speaking of which, isn't it about time you put Weasley out of his misery?" He smirked.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

Sebastian rolled his eyes. "I reckon you and him are the only two in the room who can't see it," he sighed. He leant closer to her ear. "Go and give him a damn good snog, for Merlin's sake!"

MC flushed scarlet. "Sebastian!"

He laughed and began to back up away from her. He pointed a cheeky finger at her, and dropped her another wink. "I guarantee he won't say no."

MC sat, her tummy fluttering at what Sebastian had suggested. She drank her whiskey, eyes seeking out Garreth but he was nowhere to be seen.

Could she suck up the courage to kiss Garreth? Her heart pounded so fast at the idea that she almost felt dizzy with it. She pressed gloved fingers to her lips. How would it feel to press them against him? She felt the breath in her lungs dissipate, her chest heaving in air at a quickened pace.

She stood. She needed to find him.

....*....

Poppy had sent her out into the cool night air in the direction she had seen Garreth go. She had given MC a squeeze on the arm. "Don't be afraid to grab happiness with both hands, MC," she had said.

MC wandered across the grass towards some trees, the trickle and gush of a stream drifting through the night. When it came to dark wizards and creepy forests, she would charge right in, wand blazing. But seeking out Garreth had her gritting her teeth, nerves making her feel foolish and well out of her depth.

He was sat on a fallen tree, head down, hands clasped. Her heart clenched. He looked rather dejected. Nerves forgotten, she hurried towards him. When he looked up, he looked surprised to see her there. "MC, everything alright?"

"I was about to ask you the same thing," she said. Her heel sank into a soft piece of grass and she wobbled, staggering to right herself. "Oh, these blasted heels," she hissed.

He smothered a laugh. "MC, you are not drunk, are you?"

She straightened and swiped at the strands of hair around her face. "Absolutely not!" But she struggled to keep up her attempt at being a sober, proper young lady and a giggle burst from her mouth.

Garreth got to his feet, his hands reaching to cup her elbows. "Well, well," he said. "What would the Minister of Magic say?"

She looked up at Garreth realising that standing here with him like this felt more real than anything in London had ever been. "Fuck what he thinks," she said. His eyes widened. "In fact, we should go inside and get more drinks, many more, until we are rip roaring, filthy drunk. So drunk, I could dance on the tables, lifting my skirts and not caring who sees my ankles."

Garreth laughed, his head tilting back. "I would pay to see that."

She laughed with him and her hand was now gripping the front of his smart jacket, the fabric pleasantly smooth against her gloves. "I suggest you get your wallet out then, Weasley. Because I am feeling the urge to be reckless and wild."

He stilled, staring down at her, lips parted. She stared at that mouth, thinking about what Sebastian had said. She could kiss him. Now, that would be reckless and wild. Just do it, woman! He is so close!

"Have you ever been in love, Garreth?" The words rolled off the end of her tongue to hang in the air between them. His fingers tightened at her elbows and she looked up at him, heart in her mouth, his eyes a starry glitter in the dark. "You know, the kind of love that steals the very breath from your lungs."

His mouth moved, but no words came out. She saw his throat work as he swallowed, his Adams apple bobbing beneath his skin. With a will of its own, MC's hand smoothed up the front of his jacket, a distracted thought in the back of her mind wondering what his skin felt like there. The soft silk of her gloves brushed against his throat and a strange, strangled breath left his mouth.

Her eyes flew to his. "Sorry," she muttered. "Forgive me."

She made to pull her hand back but he caught it with one of his own, grasping her fingers tightly. "No, wait," he said. He looked at her hand and then began to slowly tug the silk from the ends of her fingers. She watched, mesmerised, as he slid the glove free from her arm, goosebumps chasing the silk as it slid free. "Try that again," he whispered.

Anticipation made the ends of her fingers tingle, a fiery rush of warmth beginning to gather deep inside of her. It made her feel a little lightheaded. Recklessness wasn't the word, and she felt a deep, ravenous craving claw at her.

Slowly, she pressed her finger tips against the warmth of his neck. He swallowed thickly. She slid them against the slight roughness there, upwards towards his jawline. She was trembling, but couldn't have stopped if she tried.

Her thumb swept along the curve of his jaw, her fingers beginning to welcome the softness of his hair near his ear. He closed his eyes, savouring the feel of her delicate touch.

"There is this one girl," he whispered. She paused but kept her hand where it was, reluctant to leave his warmth. "In answer to your question, there is this one girl. She stole my heart years ago, and I don't think I will ever get it back, in fact I don't want it back. It's hers, for always. Even if she doesn't know it."

MC tried to swallow down a wave of disappointment. She cleared her throat and he opened his eyes to look down at her. Her heart squeezed tightly, wishing more than anything to know that kind of devotion. "Then she is incredibly lucky," she said. She lowered her gaze.

"MC," he said. He caught her chin and guided her back up to face him, but she kept her gaze lowered. "It's you. It was always you."

This time when she looked at him she could see the fire, the open honesty on his face, and the fear. Her breathing stilled. "Me?"

His face lowered to hers, so close she could feel the warmth of his breath on her face. But she still couldn't breathe, her fingers gripping up into his hair as his mouth brushed softly against hers. A tingling shock speared right through her at that touch. And then, his lips pressed more firmly into a proper kiss and the air rushed from her, all at once.

One hand on his jacket, one in his hair, she tugged his whole body closer. She inhaled sharply, the scent of him driving her pulse into an untamed, wild thing. The feel of him pressed up against her made her moan against his mouth as he kissed her more firmly, his lips claiming hers for his own.

As she breathed out again, lips parting, his tongue swirled in to taste her. She had never been kissed so intimately, never wanted or trusted anyone enough to allow such a thing. Her tongue tentatively moved against his, nerves making her tense a little. What if she did it wrong?

He eased the kiss, reigning in his lust to press soft kisses against her lips. She whimpered, the ache building deep within her feeling abandoned. She slid her tongue out, catching his bottom lip. "Don't you dare stop," she breathed.

But he did stop, breathing a little harder, his forehead pressed against hers. "I don't want to take advantage of you," he said softly. "We have both been drinking..."

She took his face in her hands. "I am feeling so much right now, all kinds of reckless and madness, but I do know one thing for sure. I love you, I've always loved you, and to hear you say the same makes me want to burst into a million pieces."

He huffed a laugh. "Well, don't do that. Think of the mess!"

She giggled, the fingers of her bare hand moving to his lips. "You always were good at making things explode," she murmured. "When you kissed me just now..." She closed her eyes and sighed.

"You really love me?" He asked.

The vulnerability in his voice made her eyes burn with tears. She nodded.

He hesitated, wincing a little. "What about Sebastian?"

MC gaped. "What?"

He looked awkward, looking anywhere but at her. "I er...well, I always thought you and him...You looked so happy dancing with him."

MC laughed. She couldn't help it. Poor Garreth, he looked so awkward, so pained by his words, but she couldn't stop her giggling. "Oh, no, no, no," she laughed, shaking her head. "Oh, Garreth, absolutely not! He was the one who sent me out here after you, for Merlin's sake!"

Now, it was Garreth's turn to gape. Another giggle erupted from her mouth and she buried her face into his chest. She quietened her laughter, breathing him in, her hands holding on to him, terrified to let go. "There has never been anyone else," she said into his jacket. "Only you."

If she had thought the previous kiss rather heated then she wasn't prepared for this one. If she hadn't been clinging on to him, she would have melted to the ground, a thoroughly hot mess. He pulled her hips against him, grinding against her and she gasped at the feel of it, her own hips wanting to writhe and flex with his.

A flush swept up her chest and neck, warmth blazing in deep secret places, threatening to devour her. She let herself drift into it, welcoming the abandon, starved for it.

Forgotten was the party, her friends, the whole world. It was just Garreth, his scent, his taste, and his hands on her body.

She felt the scratch of tree bark against her back. She hadn't even realised they had been moving. Garreth began to spread his teasing kisses along her jaw, his mouth sucking at the flesh of her neck. Her most secret, most entoxicating dreams, were being realised, and she moaned desperately at the feel of his tongue along her collar bone.

He pressed her against the tree, his hips grinding, and she felt the hot, throbbing press of his arousal, thick and hard. The ache between her thighs sharpened, her heat desperate to claim that wicked lust, her mind spinning at this wholly new feeling. "Oh!" She cried, breathlessly.

He paused, his eyes searching out hers. "Are you alright? Did I hurt you?"

She shook her head. "No, no, it's just..." She felt her cheeks flush hotly. "This is all so new. I...I'm afraid I am not very experienced with...all of this."

His brows drew together. "You're...a virgin?"

She nodded. "I'm so sorry."

He gasped. "Whatever for? Don't you dare be sorry!" He kissed her nose, her forehead, her lips. "Don't you dare apologise for such a thing. I'm so glad you told me before I took this any further."

She gripped him, eyes wide. "You're not going to stop are you?" Her voice had an edge of panic.

"I am not going to let you be taken for the first time up against a blasted tree!" He looked shocked. "You deserve so much better than that."

Her breath hissed through her teeth as she gritted them against her desperate need to have so much more from him. He was so damned lovely, so perfect, so everything and more that her heart desired. She thought she might even cry at how much she ached for him.

"Well then, Mr Weasley, seeing as you are trying to be the perfect gentleman. I suggest you take me somewhere much more to your liking, because I am fully expecting you to finish what you have started before I really do explode everywhere."

A startled laugh left his lips. She gripped the front of his jacket. "We need to relieve you of some clothing as well," she breathed. "I wouldn't want to make a mess over such a lovely jacket."

He kissed her, hard, demanding, his teeth catching hold of her bottom lip. The groan he made into her mouth made her toes curl. "As my love commands," he said roughly.

He held her firmly, and with a crack through the air, they were gone.

....*....

In romance novels she had read, it was always so charming, so perfect, flawless one could say.

When MC and Garreth arrived at his home, they stumbled, both of them gripping each other and reluctant to let go. Their balance was shot and they tumbled, a heap of limbs, onto the wooden floor.

MC landed on top of him, he grunted at the impact, her face mashed into his chest, her skirts wrapped in an awful muddle around her legs. "Oh, fuck!" She exclaimed.

She scrambled to check on him, writhing against him and he tensed, his hands grabbing at her hips. "Are you alright?" She asked.

He peered down at them both squished together on his kitchen floor, an eyebrow lifting at the delightful view down the neckline of her dress. "Well, this is sexy," he quipped.

She paused to consider their predicament, her lips pressing together against the laughter bubbling up her throat. He grinned before his face transformed into a mockery of seriousness. "Don't drink and Apparate," he warned.

Her laughter burst free, loud and joyous. He laughed too, holding her against him, pressing a kiss to her hair. Then he was giving her a nudge. "Come on, get me up, the floor is not where I'm planning on deflowering you," he said, cheekily.

She lifted herself up onto her arms to look down at him. She tilted her head slightly. "Deflowering me? How very proper!" She giggled. She leaned down, feeling much braver now and kissed him slowly on the mouth. She whispered against his lips. "I'm not feeling very proper right now."

As if to emphasis her point, she flexed her hips, grinding against his hip. The friction sent flame swirling outwards and it hit harder than any firewhiskey.

"Oh, fuck...Oh, fuck," he groaned. His grip on her tightened. "Upstairs now!"

MC tugged her heels from her feet, not wanting to risk any more tumbles as they ran up the staircase, hand in hand. Once in his bedroom, he paused, taking her face in his hands. He wasn't laughing now, his eyes were burning with an intensity that stole her breath.

"This feels like a dream," he said. "If it is, don't wake me, not yet."

She put a hand over one of his, the one without the glove, she stroked his knuckles, sliding tenderly along the backs of his fingers before turning to press a kiss against the inside of his wrist. "It's a dream come to life, and I'm not going anywhere," she said quietly. "This is right where I am supposed to be."

She looked up at him, her heart stuttering at the tears that shone in his eyes. "I love you," he whispered.

She moved his hand down to her chest, placed it right over her heart, thudding madly. "I love you, too."

His kiss was slow, deep, and she could feel his hunger for her. She moaned, her very bones melting into him. Piece by piece, clothing was dropped to the rug beneath their feet, mouths barely parting, fingers tugging blindy at fastenings.

The feel of his palm sliding up her bare back made her shiver, her head tilting back to allow him access to her throat, his kisses burning into her skin. Then he was releasing her hair, the freedom of her flowing locks adding to the vulnerability of her nakedness.

She felt a shyness, a lack of confidence in her own body, but his eyes were hungry, his mouth eager to press his affection against soft curves. He whispered his appreciation, breath hot against her skin, and she returned the favour. She kissed him on the neck where he had kissed her, wanting to make him feel the same burn she had.

Laying with him on the bed, his warmth a comfort and an irresistible pull, she wanted to press herself as humanly possible against him. Her breasts were crushed against his chest, the friction making her gasp. She wound a leg around his waist, hungry for something deeper, to be even closer.

He shifted, leaning on his elbows to look down at her. "Are you nervous?"

MC stared at him. "I've never felt safer," she said.

He smiled softly. "Do you have any expectations? I want you to feel comfortable with everything."

"I trust you," she said. "I know the basics, obviously, but as for the rest..."

He nodded and kissed her. "I'm going to touch you. Stop me at any point if it hurts."

She nodded, her breath shaky, and his hand slid downwards, ghosting across her skin, and gently guiding her leg outwards. His fingers brushed gently upwards against her heat, not probing, just the briefest touch. Her breath hitched and she licked her lips.

He did it again, but this time, he started lower, pressing a little more firmly, and the tip of a finger slipped between the folds, catching against her slick. Her lips parted and her eyes fluttered closed, a soft sigh leaving her.

Each stroke of his hand saw him dip a little more, spreading her, until she could hear what he was doing to her. A cry left her and her hips rolled against his hand. He pressed soft kisses to her neck, her shoulder, his finger pressing more firmly to swirl against her most sensitive part.

Her hand fisted into the bed sheets. "Garreth," she gasped.

He did it again, the ache of it so sharp and intense that she arched her back, and he wasn't stopping, in fact he swirled faster. "Ahh...oh..."

He swirled a tongue over her nipple, mirroring his fingers and a cry left her throat.

"Is that good?" He whispered into her ear.

She nodded, words a forgotten concept as she felt the fire of his touch twist sharper and faster, she felt her legs begin to tremble and she panted. She could feel the grip on her control sliding, she was climbing ever higher and the fall gaped beneath her, she just had to let go and she would fly.

"Garreth," she panted. Her hand gripped his shoulder, fingers sinking in. "Oh...I'm going to...I can't hold on anymore."

"Let go," he urged. His fingers worked even faster and her eyes flew wide. She let go, and the flames consumed her, rolling up and outwards, leaving her a panting, flushed wreck in his arms.

She tried to catch her breath, watching him, stunned, as he shifted between her legs, two fingers sliding slowly inside of her, pumping slowly before spreading her arousal all over her folds. She moaned at the feel of the intrusion.

"I need to make sure I don't hurt you," he explained. She stared at the swollen length of him, watching in fascination as he took hold of it, swirling his soaked fingers along it and up over the tip. She swallowed. "Will you fit? That looks rather big."

He chuckled and kissed her. "Well, thank you."

She bit her lower lip, smiling up at him. He settled between her legs and she felt the tip of him brush against her. She twitched her hips and he held one, steadying her. "Easy now, just relax, let me do the work, okay? You just concentrate on relaxing your muscles."

She nodded. "Okay, I'm ready."

"Eyes on mine," he said.

She met his gaze. Oh, how she loved those eyes! She steadied her breathing and then he began to push into her, his other hand holding himself steady. She felt the stretch, the sting, and gasped.

"Breathe," he whispered. "Just keep looking at me."

She did, unable to tear her gaze away as he slid slowly, carefully, deeper inside of her. Her body welcomed him, the sting easing, her walls clenching around the pressure of the intrusion into her most intimate place.

Fully seated, he exhaled a long breath, pausing to savour the moment and she brought her hand to his face. "You didn't hurt me," she assured him.

He smiled and kissed her, long and slow. She arched a little, the movement felt deep within and they both moaned. "I can't wait any longer," he said, tightly. "You feel so fucking good."

It felt kind of empowering knowing that she had that kind of effect on him. A naughty smirk curved her lips and she flexed her hips, he grunted in surprise, his eyes growing dark and dangerous. Anticipation made her breathe a little harder.

His gaze burned into her hers as he slid back and thrust deeply, a satisfied smirk spreading across his mouth as she cried out. "Again," she panted.

He began to roll his hips, his lips parting, colour flooding his cheeks as she began to moan beneath him, her hands reaching to grasp at his back and shoulders.

The pleasure of his thrusts washed over her, reawakening that burning ache for him that felt so good, too good to let go of, but she found she was building right back up towards that limit again.

Watching his own pleasure play out across his features was just as arousing as his touch, and they climbed together, Garreth gritting his teeth as he barely contained himself. He shifted her hips, his arms winding around her to support her at this new angle and he thrust harder, cries spilling from her lips as she felt the limit rushing towards her.

Her head fell backwards as she abandoned herself to it, her climax making her bear down onto his length, clenching tightly around him as he groaned into her ear.

....*....

Rosy dawn sunlight filtered through his bedroom window and a lazy smile tugged at his mouth as he turned his face into the soft spill of hair on his pillow. He bent to nuzzle his nose under one delicate ear, his lips pressing softly against the warmth of MC's neck.

She moaned and shifted in her sleep, but she wasn't going anywhere, he would make sure of that. His arm wrapped tightly around her, pulling her back up against him, his growing arousal settling snugly under her arse cheeks.

Twice now he had taken her, each time making him more sure that she was the beginning and the end of him. She was just the most perfect fit.

Her hand smoothed up his arm and she sighed his name, snuggling against him. "Is it time to get up?" She mumbled.

"No," he said, immediately. "We're never getting out of this bed, ever again."

A little frown creased her brow. "But I'm hungry," she said. She turned to look up at him, blinking sleepily.

He pressed a kiss to her shoulder, humming thoughtfully. "Breakfast in bed?"

She smiled, twisting to face him, her hand sliding down his chest, lower. The feel of her fingers around his now solid length making him groan. "Does breakfast come with dessert?" She teased. Her mouth pressed kisses to his throat.

Garreth tugged her leg up around his hip, rolling her flat against the mattress. "Breakfast can wait," he said. "I've always been a sucker for something sweet."

She giggled and wrapped herself around him, soft and willing. His dream come to life.

#hogwarts legacy fanfic #hogwarts legacy #garreth weasley #mc x garreth weasley #blueraineshadows #weasley wednesday

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mymarifae · 7 months

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don't read burn my soul. akito reaches rad weekend levels with his singing Because he's trying to express his gratitude to ken for giving him his dream and for being his role model for all these years - and then he starts funneling all of his love for toya, an, and kohane and vivid street and music itself into his singing and it unlocks that level of performing inside him. you know how i've been saying forever that akito's constant doubts and insecurities are what's holding him back, not any actual lack of ability? after 3 years of events, ken and luka finally get this through his head. he finally has full confidence in his music. he finally fucking understands that the thing he needs to focus on while singing is not "i need to get better so i don't get left behind" he knows he needs to think about the actual emotions he wants to express with his music he's FINALLY learned how to RELAX and sing from his heart.

and then during his final performance of the event he (re)lights the fire in kotaro's heart and gives him the courage to try pursuing music again, and to rejoin vivid bad squad in surpassing rad weekend. you know, paralleling the way rad weekend gave akito new life after he quit soccer and started giving up on the world.

not to mention it turns out taiga's ass kicking in light up the fire dampened the morale of all of vivid street. everyone was starting to lose their deeper love for music. no one was as excited anymore. no one believed there could be something greater than rad weekend, so why... bother? and then akito's performance sets EVERYONE'S asses on fire, not just kotaro's. he singlehandedly breathes new life and passion into vivid street. it gave him a lifeline when he needed it most, and now he's in a position where he can return the favor. and he does.

yeah. life-ruining. all of it. i died lots and lots and lots. save yourselves.

#disclaimer:please read this event jesus christ #project sekai #akito shinonome #ohhhhhhhhh .y god. oh my god. oh. my. god.#AHFAHDHhd HE'S COME SO FAR IT"#S NOT FAIRRRR I'M IN SHAMBLES. SHAMBLES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#watching his character growth culminate into This. has been such a joyous experience. akito youcan't hear me but i love you #you've done so well. you're going to keep growing into something amazing. i'm so proud... my darling sunshine sweetheart #ugh *shoves him into the microwave*#now if you'll excuse me i have to go live in a dark cave forever.

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sequencefairy · 9 days

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No, tbh if I were watcher I would literally not even give in to these hateful people. I would not do anything for these types of hateful individuals out of spite. It’s not even about criticizing their business decisions anymore, it’s literally just them (the so called fans) being disgusting people who throw a tantrum because they don’t get what they want.

you know, i think they can't let this pass without saying anything at all so i do expect some kind of communication in the next couple of days allowing that Shane and Ryan and I assume some of their other staff are travelling to the UK and Scotland for the tour, but i do not think that the decision they've made is going to change in any substantial way.

the thing that a lot of folks seem to forget in all this, is that they can complain very loudly and be very terrible and say the most atrocious things but that does not change that there are contracts and legal agreements associated with these sorts of business decisions. those agreements will have cancellation clauses built in, and they will not cover "our fans are jerks, actually" as a reason to cancel a previously signed agreement.

the other thing that folks are super glossing over in all their suggestions of other options that watcher could pursue is that the guys have all said that going back to a situation where they have to make their content palatable to advertisers is just not something they're interested in doing. at all. full stop.

the streaming service is the way forward. we can take it or leave it. we can not like the timing (the friday before the weekend half the main staff travel abroad? who picked this day?) or the way that there are a lot of questions outstanding about how things are gonna work going forward (watcher has historically had a problem with communication and it has not changed yet and to be honest i don't really expect it to until they hire someone to actually be in charge of communications as their major responsibility).

we can be upset about it feeling like we're losing access to people who we've had quite a lot of access to over the last few years (too much access in my opinion, I am frankly thrilled they're gonna stop being so fucking available) and we can be miffed about no longer getting videos for free (tho, if you weren't subbed to the patreon, you weren't getting all their videos anyway?).

what we can't do, tho, is make the emotions we're feeling and processing (very loudly and publicly for some people), into everyone else's problem. people's feelings are valid, and people should feel free to feel them, but the moment you make your feelings someone else's problem? then they're just you being an asshole.

#jess answers #anonymouse #watcher

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mayajadewrites · 5 months

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Levi Ackerman x Reader - Almost

Chapter 3: Taste

Modern AU Levi Ackerman x Reader fanfic I've been dying to write! Levi is my latest hyper fixation so this was bound to happen. There will be other AOT characters in the mix, but remember this is a modern AU!

Chapter Summary: Levi stops in the coffee shop again to ask reader out on another date. We get a bit of Levi's POV and some backstory!

WARNING: SOME SMUT AHEAD

ao3 link

The next day you wake up with butterflies in your stomach and an intense feeling of anxiety in your body.

BEEP. BEEP. BEEP.

Your alarm read 6 AM. You have to be at work by 7, and you'll probably walk in to the 9-5 crowd.

To be honest, you barely slept. You kept replaying last night over and over in your head until you eventually nodded off to sleep. Seeing Levi's name on your phone screen made your heart soar, so you knew you needed to push your feelings down. Levi is not the type of man to show PDA, or even tell you he likes you.

From what you can tell, he definitely at least tolerates you.

As you got out of the shower, you saw your phone screen light up.

Levi: Good morning. I hope you slept well.

Levi Ackerman texts like an old man. But its cute.

You: Good morning, I slept like a baby. How did you sleep?

You lied. Obviously. You didn't sleep because you were too busy thinking about the very man you were texting.

Levi: I didn't.

You: ??? You didn't sleep?

Levi: No. I rarely do. I'll see you soon, brat.

It's not very surprising that Levi doesn't sleep much if at all, but that still worried you. Sleep is very important when it comes to basic life functioning, and you know Levi's life is filled with stress.

You put on your uniform and put your hair in a half up, half down style. One day when you own your own coffee shop, there won't be any uniforms.

☕︎⋆˙⟡♡☕

"I can help who's next." You look up from the register, only to see your favorite pair of eyes.

"Medium black tea please." Levi peered through his jet black locks. His undercut looks freshly done, he must've done it after our date last night.

Date? Hang out?

"Will you ever try a new drink?" You smile at him, tapping the numbers in on the iPad.

"No. I like what I like and it hasn't done me wrong yet." Levi handed you his card in between his pointer and middle finger. "Are you busy this weekend?"

"I'm not actually. I have the weekend off." You slide his card and hand it back to him. "Any exciting plans for you?"

"Maybe." Levi shrugged, putting his card in his sleek wallet. "If you say yes."

This caught you off guard. Levi wanted to hang out again? So soon?

☕︎⋆˙⟡♡☕ LEVI ☕︎⋆˙⟡♡☕

I'm not good with communicating my emotions. That is unbearably obvious. I have never been the type to step out of my comfort zone and confess my true feelings to anyone.

This all started with my mother. Of course.

After witnessing her die, I did not want to speak ever again. She was everything to me. Not only was I a child, but I was an only child. A child is not supposed to lose their mom so early on in life.

I honestly rarely have feelings for anyone. I have... 2 friends. Erwin and Hange. So 1 and a half.

I currently see a therapist because I'm 30 years old and I'm getting the feeling that I want to be settled down soon. You know, kids and all that. I'm already a CEO, I have the house of my dreams, but I'm missing someone to share it with.

I've tried dating. No woman ever sticks. Either they just want sex, my money, or attention. They never want me.

When I met her, I felt a tingle in my chest. Seeing her face every morning and getting my tea for me gives me the same feeling every day.

So, my therapist told me to step up and ask her out.

It took me 6 months - but I did it.

Our date, if we want to call it that, since I'm not sure what she thought of it, went perfectly. Her personality meshes with mine in a way that it's written in novels. I can be rather dry with my sense of humor, but she gets it. She gets me.

I didn't kiss her last night, or even hug her, but God do I want to. I'm not sure if I get a taste of her if I'll ever be able to let go.

An image of her was playing over and over in my head as I was showering last night, her black dress clinging to her curves. Her thighs peeking out of her stockings drove me crazy. But I kept my composure.

Obviously, I had to relieve myself. In the shower. Thinking of her.

I haven't even touched her yet and she has me like this.

My therapist said that it's okay for me to feel this intensely, that it's 'normal'. Who even decides what's normal anyways?

I haven't told Hange or Erwin about her yet, and I don't plan too until if and when we decide to actually be together. I don't need their opinions or Hange's excitement rumbling in my ear.

"If you say yes." I sip my tea, looking at her. Her eyes were doe-like, which made the pit of my stomach feel hot.

"Let me know what you wanna do, I'm yours this weekend." She smiled, helping the next customer in line.

Does she know that my dick is hard right now because of what she just said? How little she just said?

I lifted my cup and left the cafe, heading towards my car to go to the office.

Bzzzzzz.

"Ackerman, can you come in earlier? A few people want to meet with you about a project they want you to fund." Hange almost screamed into the phone.

"4 eyes, I can hear you perfectly fine if you talk at a normal tone. Yeah, I'm on my way."

"Well I can't control the volume!"

"You actually can. Goodbye." I hung up, starting the car. I glanced at the window of the coffee shop, watching her smile at customers and hand them their drinks. Her smile warmed my cold heart, slowly defrosting the ice that encases it.

Does she know she's all I can think about?

☕︎⋆˙⟡♡☕ BRATTY BARISTA ☕︎⋆˙⟡♡☕

You cannot believe you just told Levi Ackerman you were his this weekend. Did he think you were a slut? Did he think you were gonna put out?

That thought left your brain when you remembered who you were talking about. Levi Ackerman is a gentleman before anything, which he's shown you.

You heard your coworker Nina call your name, who also happens to be one of your good friends.

"Did that fine ass man ask you out this weekend?!" She leaned against the counter, smiling. "I knew he wanted to get with you!"

"Yes, we went out last night too actually." A blush blessed your cheeks as you washed your hands.

"How was the short king? How were his lips?!"

"We didn't kiss." You looked at her, hoping she wouldn't drag the conversation further.

"What?! So was it even a date? I usually go way farther than a kiss on a first date-"

"Did you date Levi Ackerman?" You tilted your head, emphasizing Levi's name. "I'm not rushing anything. I enjoy his company."

"I'm just saying, he looks rather kissable."

"Obviously, Nina." Your eyes rolled so far they could've gotten stuck in the back of your head. "Trust me, I want to kiss him. I would love to jump his bones. I want to every time he walks in here."

☕︎⋆˙⟡♡☕

After your shift, you were relieved you were off for the weekend. You worked the regular 8 hours today and needed to decompress from all of the customer service.

Bzzzzz.

Levi: I was thinking we could grab a coffee tomorrow morning and head to the flea market. Not a coffee from your job though. Thoughts?

Was this man in your head?

You: That sounds amazing, actually. What time is my chariot arriving?

Levi: 8 AM. Not like you're not used to seeing me early in the morning anyways.

You: Ay-ay captain.

You've never dealt with a man that made plans for you. The fact that Levi suggested quite literally your favorite morning activities for a date made you swoon.

You spent the rest of your afternoon/night cleaning your apartment and finishing the lastest novel you picked up. Nina sent you outfit inspo for tomorrow but you were not in the mood to show off your tits at 8AM.

☕︎⋆˙⟡♡☕

Wakeup call was 6 AM so you could make sure you were ready for your Range Rover chariot to wisk you away. Your shower helped wake you up, even though your anxiety has kept you up most of the night.

You opted for a pair of straight leg barely ripped jeans, an oversized crewneck, and platform white converse. You accessorized with various layered necklaces and small gold hoop earrings.

Makeup with your usual small winged liner with glowy skin and glossy lips. By the time you were done with everything, it was 7:45. You sprayed your favorite marshmallow vanilla perfume before grabbing your purse and checking your phone.

Nina: Good luck today! Kiss those perfect lips!!

You: I'm about to send you a video of me rolling my eyes.

Bzzzzz.

Levi: I'm early again. Your chariot awaits.

You smiled at your phone, grabbing your coat. You saw Levi's car through your window, his eyes glued onto your door. Once you walked out, Levi got out of the car and opened the passenger door.

Levi was wearing a casual outfit himself, black jeans with a grey (cashmere?) sweater, and loafers. God, he smelled good too.

"Good morning." Levi closed your door, getting back in his seat. "You look cozy."

"Thank you, so do you." You smile at him, memorizing every inch of his face. You wanted to lean in and kiss him right then and there, but you did not want to make the first move.

You weren't going to.

☕︎⋆˙⟡♡☕

Once you parked, you walked to a coffee shop that's in the midst of the flea market. Part of you wondered why one of the richest men in the city would shop at a flea market.

Levi pressed his hand to the small of your back, ushering you out of the coffee shop. His touch sent sparks up your body.

You and Levi strolled through the different vendors, sipping your drinks and talking. You caught Levi looking at your hand a little too much, especially when you threw out your cup.

More people started to show up to the flea market, causing the crowd to get larger. Levi looked more tense, darting his eyes at every exit.

"I didn't know it would get so crowded." You try to break his thoughts, looking up at him.

Levi took your hand in his, slowly intertwining his fingers with yours. "I don't wanna lose you." Levi said so casually. You know he meant he didn't want to lose you in the crowd, but you also felt that he meant that in another way.

"Do you want to get out of here and head to my apartment? It's getting too crowded to walk." You suggest, pressing your hand against his.

"Yes please."

You've learned that Levi Ackerman does not like crowds, partially because it forces him to do PDA.

☕︎⋆˙⟡♡☕

You are thankful you cleaned your apartment yesterday. Everything was in it's place, and it smelled good. Not that it didn't usually, but you live alone so if you don't clean it, no one else will.

Levi took his shoes off at the door with you, taking in his surroundings.

"You have nice taste." Levi helped you take off your coat, hanging it in your closet.

"Thank you. I try." You smile, turning to face Levi. "Thank you for this morning." You inch closer to him, watching his eyes search your face.

"Thank you for every morning." Levi leaned in, bringing his hand to your cheek gently.

For what felt like years, you and Levi looked in each other's eyes. You had a full conversation with just your eyes.

Levi eliminated the space between you and pressed his lips to yours. His lips are pillow soft and taste like mint. You slowly wrap your arms around his neck, dragging your fingers along his undercut.

His lips moved in rhythm with yours, sliding his hands down your curves to your ass. You smile against his lips, pressing your chest to his.

"If you want to stop, I-" Levi pulled away, looking in your eyes.

"Levi, please." You almost whimper, bringing his lips back to yours. You lead your bodies to the couch, straddling Levi's waist. You open your mouth as he's kissing you, letting his tongue in. His fingertips softly dragged down your back, making sure to squeeze your ass every now and then.

His tongue slipped in your mouth, exploring every inch of it. You sucked on it gently as you felt your core start to pulsate, begging for attention.

Levi moaned quietly against your lips - you could barely hear it but it happened. Your hips started moving in rhythm, his erection pressing against his jeans.

Bzzzzzz. Bzzzzz. Bzzzz.

You pulled away from Levi, staring down at his pocket.

"I'm gonna kill whoever is calling me." Levi pulled his phone out of his pocket, rolling his eyes at the screen. "I'm sorry, it's Erwin. The President of Ackerman Inc. I have to take this, he doesn't usually call."

You nod and roll off of him, your core needy as fuck and your lips missing his.

#levi #levi fanfic #levi attack on titan #levi ackerman #levi ackerman x reader #attack on titan fanfic #levi x reader #levi smut #levi ackerman smut #captain levi

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armpirate · 7 months

Text

Soundleasure || San

pairing: Choi San x fem!reader

w.c.: 4.8k

Aprox. time of reading: 21 minutes

Warnings: Smut, online sex, male masturbation, female masturbation, teasing, dirty talk, mention of porn. If you're a minor, refrain from reading it. Also, if you don't like this content, just keep scrolling.

Summary: Ready to give up on blind dates and dating apps, you were drawned back to the safe place that was his porn channel. Attracted by a voice and his storytelling, and completely clouded by the amount of emotions, you found yourself sending him a private message. He wouldn't read it, and even less answer it, anyway. Or so you thought.

MASTERLIST

You dropped your keys over the dark green sideboard, placed at the left of the entrance to your place, instead of hanging them on the golden hooks that you bothered to hang to avoid dropping your keys over the first place you found. After losing them almost three times -or, atleast, having the illusion that you lost them because it took you almost an hour to find them in the last corner you'd expect in your place-, you thought it'd be a good idea to place a keyholder so you'd be able to hang the keys in a place proper for them.

Today just wasn't the day to use it. You just wanted to disappear somewhere in between your beed and your blankets, and totally erase what happened that day.

Maybe you had been looking forward to that date a little bit too much. Having high expectations of someone you met on a dating app was a bad start, and could only mean that you wouldn't be ready to have those same expectations dashing against the ground at the minimum inconvenience.

Was it minimum though? You always tried to think that maybe you were a bit too demanding when it came to hookups and relationships, always blaming your previous thoughts and ideas instead of accepting the fact that men, in general, were meant to disappoint you no matter what. You'd see it every day on the different dating apps you had installed, thinking that it'd be easier to find someone than just getting out there and hoping Love to find you. Although, lately you weren't even about love. You were ready to settle for a simple dude that'd get his work done with you, and wait for things to go further as a hopeful thought.

That was definitely too much to ask for.

You met Jordan when you were close to deleting your profile. It was the ninetieth dating app you were going to give up on, until you found a cute tanned guy with green eyes that seemed acceptable when he reached out to you after you matched. The conversation was so fluid after two days, that you didn't hesitate to arrange something with him for the weekend.

It was all nice and comfortable until he started to talk about his past relationships. "I don't usually do dating apps", "I'm not a player", "My ex's were all crazy", and a long etcetera that only had you nodding, while you tried your best to concentrate on your food. If you had learned something over your twenty five years was that those who deny something they aren't even asked about, are exactly the image they try to distance themselves from.

You kept undressing yourself as you made your way to your bed, dropping the wrinkled fabric on it while you were only in your underwear. Only bothering to check your phone when the sound of a notification reached your ears while you put on some comfortable clothes.

Another dick pic.

You didn't know if it was the way this new guy thought a dick pic would turn you on -when you didn't even ask for it, and the conversation didn't go further than a "Hey"-, or the fact that it wasn't even that big of a thing to have you losing it and forgetting about the awful night you had.

It was a failed way to get in your pants. There was no way any girl would get turned on by those kinds of pics unprovoked. If at least it came from a person you actually liked, or were attracted to... But loverboy6577 didn't even give you time for that. And it wasn't like you were planning on giving him a chance after that.

Crawling on the bed, and pushing the dress off the mattress with your feet, you felt your body relaxing over the sheets while you looked at your phone. Another notification popped up on the upper bar, but that one made your heart twitch in your chest with excitement.

He usually never posted videos on Saturdays, but there he was. The thumbnail was completely dark when you clicked on it, and the video description explained how he thought about giving that little surprise to his followers. He spoke generally, but for some reason you felt like he was speaking directly at you. Maybe that night you just needed to believe that he was.

Reaching for your earpods, soon your brain could only focus on his masculine voice setting the mood, while the screen was completely dark.

"Are you okay? I bet today was a long day" you pressed your lips at how perfectly his video fitted with the mood you were in that night. "Let me make it up to you, okay? I promise I'll make it better".

You couldn't avoid giggling, while you cringed, as soon as those kissing sounds came up. It was the thing you least liked from his videos, but you still went through it all because it comforted you somehow. At least it helped you imagine the way his lips might look, slightly moist after he moved his tongue on them to be able to make those sounds loud and clear against the microphone.

"I got you, babe" he whispered again, following more kissing sounds. "Have I already told you how good your skin tastes?" he hummed after that, pretending to be taking off some clothes right after. "Let me undress you, I want to see how beautiful you look completely naked".

And soon those kissing sounds weren't on your lips anymore -at least not on your upper lips. Your core throbbed at the fast image of a pair of sexy eyes peeking over your mound, holding your body gently as he aimed you to your own orgasm.

"Mmm, I'm so addicted to your pussy" he groaned, still making licking sounds.

You didn't know when you slid your hand in your underwear and when you started rubbing your clit. You were only aware of how wet and ready you were when your back arched in a perfect curve after he made a spitting sound. He soon groaned, combining perfectly with your pants as you traced circles slowly.

"You're so tight, hmm" and as he said that, you slid two of your fingers filling you, making you bite your lip as your imagination ran wild. "'Feel so fucking good around my cock".

Your head was unconsciously nodding at his words, pounding your fingers in and out a bit faster as time went by. It was as if his moans were the only thing that set the pace you wanted to follow. The squelching sound of his hand stroking his cock, mixed with his whimperings and gasps made it too vivid for you, almost making you forget you were finger fucking yourself, and convinced there was someone leading the way to paradise, your paradise.

"Cum with me, baby" he sobbed, his voice cracking at the last word.

And it didn't take you too long until shiverings ran over your body, a silenced moan by your lips pressed together making it known you came to one of his videos again.

You found his channel while you scrolled down the porn site. Utterly done with the over staged videos, and the exaggerated moans and faces that made you want to tear your phone against the wall rather than touching yourself. Soon it became a usual thing, as if you were a fan. And, considering the way you behaved and felt at his every post, maybe you were.

It made no sense to you. He was faceless, there was nothing but his voice and the words he used. But it was enough to let your imagination run free, and it worked most of the nights, actually. His content was also quite dynamic, and it felt funny how it always fitted your mood completely, like tonight. Some other times, he would just pretend to be a bit rougher. Or maybe he settled a whole scene, and created a tiny porn scene in everyone's heads. But he always managed to make you feel that good.

Usually, he just seemed so out of reach. Soundleasure was a thing, you forgot he was even a person after cumming. He was just content you consumed, because you felt lonely and needy, and no real man would make you reach your high the way he did with his voice only. But it didn't seem like you thought like that that night.

After cleaning yourself up, and getting out of your bathroom, you thought deep about him. He was a real person. He made you understand your own body in a way that no one else has been able to. And if he was able to do that in the distance, maybe it'd be twice more intense if he ever directed all those words at you only.

Maybe it was your loneliness speaking, or the constant let down by every man you tried to meet casually. Clouded by your own feelings, you went further than just leaving a comment like the rest of women that consumed his content. Your finger scrolled up his page, opening his private messages to write the most cordial text you could think of.

And you forgot about it after sending it. It was too late to delete it. It was obvious he wouldn't answer back, he probably wouldn't even see it -considering the amount of women that probably tried the same thing.

That's why as time went by, you forgot about it.

You kept on with life, focusing on work and still going on dates randomly, keeping your mind focused on finding the man of your dreams. Although it was ridiculous from you to think that man would be in any of those apps.

Until one of those days, a buzz sneakily got your attention. Usually, you'd just check the text later -there was no hurry on reading what most dudes had to say. But that day, you felt curious about it.

Your eyebrows instantly frowned when you realized the notification didn't come from the dating app, but from the pornsite you'd secretly enjoy whenever there was an update. And it was, but not the one you were used to.

You felt lucky when your fingers felt weak, but not enough to drop your phone to the ground when you read his text.

Soundleasure: Hey! Sorry for the late reply. Hope you still think my voice is sexy.

You tried to avoid re-reading your own text after sending it, until you were forced to that night. Your face grimaced as soon as you were aware of how cheeky and desperate you seemed on the text you sent. Saying his voice was sexy? And nothing else? God, your mind was intoxicated by the bullshit you read on those dating apps.

You: Maybe... Or maybe you'll have to work a bit harder to get my attention again.

Soundleasure: Hmm. You answered tho, it seems like I have your attention.

You: Maybe I'm just being polite by replying back.

You: It'd be rude to just leave you on read.

Soundleasure: Oh, so you're considerate. That's nice to know.

Soundleasure: Better reason to work harder so I keep having your focus on me.

You bit your lip, lying on the couch while still holding your phone up high. It seemed too surrealistic to be real. You were talking with him, the man that put your standards on sex above the sky.

You: How are you planning on doing that?

Soundleasure: I don't know... You tell me.

You: I'm good at concentrating, so you probably won't have to do much.

Soundleasure: Hahah

Soundleasure: Ok

Soundleasure: What's your name?

You: Y/n

You: what about you?

You: i doubt soundleasure is your real name.

Soundleasure: haha San. That's my name.

Soundleasure: I'm kinda forced to ask you your age.

You: 25. I've been legal for quite a few years.

You didn't ask him his age, you didn't need to. You knew he was twenty four. It was displayed on the short description he had on his channel, along with the type of content he'd post in it.

It'd been almost a week. And while you thought the conversation would end after that night, the truth was that both San and you kept reaching out to each other, coming up with whatever that came to your heads to keep the conversation alive. You were even surprised when, after two days, he asked for your user on Telegram so you could find a more comfortable way to text -you were close, but not enough to be giving out your private phone number to a stranger.

If you thought San was only attractive in those videos, he proved you wrong by the way he acted so charming and close the more you talked. You always gave up the idea of sending him a text, convincing yourself that you'd lose interest as soon as he seemed approachable enough -or as soon as he felt comfortable enough to show his true colors. But you were so mistaken. It's like he threw a hook on you, and every time he pulled you in, you got more attached.

It was also the way you could go from cackling at the conversation, to being forced to press your thighs close together after he dropped a flirty message, or a suggestive pic as if it was nothing. You obviously played along, surprised by how easily he made that nature flow in you.

That Saturday, you had just sent one of your nsfw pics of your blurry naked figure reflected on the bathroom mirror full of steam. It was clear as day that you were naked after taking your shower, but it was impossible to clearly see what the mist was hiding.

San: Fucking hell, Y/n.......

You saw "Typing..." under his name several times, but it always ended up disappearing and he ended up disconnecting, before he came back a few more times. You giggled as a consequence, thinking that you got what you wanted with that snapshot: triggering San.

San: Omg

You: You liked it?

Your text reeked of fake innocence. He knew, you knew.

San: I hated it

Your heart skipped a beat, stopping completely when you saw that text before he suddenly left the app again. You both had been exchanging that type of pictures almost since you started talking to each other, along with a big amount of spicy texts -especially the days he uploaded content to his channel. It was the cherry on top of a great day for the two of you.

Wearing the bathrobe as the only clothing that covered your body, you sat in the middle of the bed, waiting for his text. You were doubting whether you should text first or not, but your phone buzzing in your palm gave you the answer you were looking for.

San: It's unfair I can't see that in person

His answer made you smile instantly, biting your lip while you thought of the next thing to say. He lived in Los Angeles, on the other side of the country, while you lived in Boston. You were more than four hours away.

You: Maybe we can do something better...

You: are you home?

San: Yeah

San: What did you think about?

You clearly didn't think it through, and you chose to act before you could even process your own idea. Every time you had the idea to do a video call, you'd turn it down with the fear of him not liking you -and, sometimes, not liking him. After talking for a week, you two had high expectations on each other -at least on your side it was like that. More than once you were scared of him being disappointed in the way you looked, and you were also terrified with the idea of ending up upset with him.

But that day it didn't seem to matter to you. You clicked on the video call option, and just waited for him to answer. You held your phone at the level of your face, checking your reflection out while you bit your lip nervously. All the excitement started disappearing when he didn't pick up the call, and you started thinking that maybe you got ahead of yourself.

Suddenly, everything was silent and you got surprised by his face on the screen.

You couldn't believe you were ever scared of not liking him. Not only did he had an attractive voice, and a charming personality, his face also seemed sculpted by the gods. His foxy eyes had a gentle look on them as he stared back at you through the screen, and his dimples made his sharp features look innocent and soft as he smiled.

"So I see you weren't lying on taking a shower" he commented, making one of his eyebrows disappear behind his bangs.

"You thought I was baiting you?" his deep chuckle sent shiverings all over your body, before you chose to keep talking. "It'd have been perfect timing for you to send a picture, too" you pointed out.

You were able to point out that he also took a shower, by the way that the end of his bangs that fell on his forehead -and slightly over his eyes- looked a bit wet still.

"You got ahead of me" he played with his hair, acknowledging your good eye sight with a wide smile. His smile slowly dropped to a smirk, as his eyes concentrated on you for a brief second "You're beautiful".

Taking the compliment the best way you could, you simply smiled and lowered your face enough the moment you felt your cheeks lighting up.

"Don't cover up. That's cute" he giggled.

But you couldn't help it. All the times through messages, you two kept acting confidently, being the sexiest of your versions. But there you were, blushing over the word "beautiful" and the way his eyes shined as he said it.

You clearly weren't used to that type of treatment.

"You also look good" you assured him.

"Better than expected?"

Far better than expected.

While you still were surprised by his good physique, you didn't see his face in either of the pics he sent. Like you, he always ended up covering it with the shape of his phone on the several mirror selfies he took, or he straight up cut off his face. So now that you were seeing him, and confirming he was the perfect combo, your head was struggling to admit San was real and not a person you created out of desperation.

"Maybe" you answered teasingly.

"I already had high expectations on you, but you made sure to break them all off" his mouth was trying to transmit that with appeal, yet his smile and the way he nervously pressed his lips together betrayed him.

Just like it happened whenever you texted each other, the conversation didn't seem to have an ending. And it was the best thing with him, the way you felt you could talk for hours and never get bored. There was always a topic, a situation, an anecdote... always something that had you two engaged for a few more minutes. But you didn't know it'd be even better when you two went silent, staring at each other for some seconds, before you bit your lip and spoke again.

"You said it was unfair you couldn't see me in person" you started, tilting your head slightly, "What exactly do you want to see?".

One of his eyebrows raised at your question, grinning while he rested his back against the office chair in his room. "Your skin. I bet it looks softer than it does in pictures".

Your robe slipped off your right shoulder, exposing your collarbone and the curve of one of your breasts "Can you appreciate it now?".

"Kinda" he sighed, "It looks better than on the pic, but not good enough" he smiled again. "Maybe I need to see a bit more".

Now moving down the robe over your other shoulder, it was hanging on your arms -enough to cover up your nipples, but still showing off your cleavage. It was nothing he hadn't seen before though. You had sent several underwear pics at some point in the night, but somehow it felt different that day.

"Would you be able to handle this in person?" the middle finger of your free hand traced your collarbone ever so gently you felt tickles from your own touch.

"I'd do more than just handle it" he assured, his voice going lower with every word. "But I'd for sure rip that thing off. It's pissing me off".

"You don't need to break it though, just" and with that pause, you undid the knot on the upper part of your belly, allowing the soft fabric to expose your breasts on the screen "open it".

A whimper suddenly came out of his lips, at the same time he tried to find a more comfortable position on his chair. San also rolled it a bit more to the back, showing more than just his torso covered with that gray sweater.

You had never felt the strong need to sit on someone's lap until you saw his legs on the screen, with his hands falling on them lazily.

"Those tits are begging to be sucked"

"Hmm" your right hand kept wandering all over your torso, feeling your nipples tightening at the filth in his words. "I bet they'd look better if they were in your mouth instead".

Just the thought of it got your body working faster than it has ever worked before, as if you were going to take him at any time.

"Of course" he nodded "Getting them hard and stiff until they hurt".

Following his words, your index and thumb rubbed on your nipple, tightening the grip sporadically, ending it with a pinch and pull that got you pressing your thighs at the sudden throb.

"I want to see you, too"

San thought he'd collapse right there when he saw you pouting as you said that, your hand dropping out of the camera vision while your eyes intensely looked at him. Maybe he was too horny, or maybe his lack of experience with any other girl made him so eager for you. But there he was, willing to do anything you'd ask for.

While he took off his sweater, you placed a pillow at the edge of the bed just so you could rest your phone on it and forget about holding it up in the air. You heard him groan at the sight of your half naked body, while your hands still held together the edges of your robe so your lower part wouldn't be exposed.

"I think this is the hardest I've ever been for someone" he mentioned, stroking his growing bulge over his black sweatpants.

"Let me see how hard I'm making you" you asked, kneeling in the middle of the bed.

It didn't take San a minute before he was lowering his pants and boxers enough to let his cock spring free in the air, and ending up resting on his stomach. Your eyes got lost on the shape of his cock, thinking how bad you'd like to suck on its curve, tracing the veins that went from the base to the tip with your tongue.

You could feel your mouth watering at the image, wishing there weren't 2611 miles between you two right at that moment. That man for sure wasn't real. Every inch of his body was perfect.

"Cat got your tongue?" he teasingly asked, stroking his cock while he looked at you.

"I wish that was the problem" you scoffed, bending over, resting your body on your elbows, so you could see his image up close. "I've never wanted to get choked on a cock so bad in my life".

"I bet you'd look gorgeous with your mouth stuffed with it" he groaned.

You smiled, aiming two of your fingers at your mouth. You rubbed the tip of your fingerprints on your flat muscle, just to enclose your lips around them while staring straight at the camera. It felt like your eyes were connecting through the whole thing, because you could hear San cursing as soon as you did that.

"Show me how wet you are while you still suck on those fingers, hmm?"

Biting on your own fingerprints, you smiled. You for sure were leaking at that point, you could fill your juices dripping from your entrance to your clit when you bent over to the camera. Changing your position again, you opened your robe completely with your legs still closed as you saw in front of the camera. And once you made sure everything was seen for him, you spread your legs, having San moaning out loud at the vision of your glistening lips.

Your wet fingers with your spit traveled all the way from your lips to your pussy, moving through your folds for him. Your heart skipped a beat when they reached your clit, finally being taken care of after ignoring it for so long.

"Wet enough to have my face buried in it" his raspy voice added "I bet you taste so fucking good".

And soon those scenarios you planted in your head, with a mysterious man with no face, finally came back to your head with every detail you could add. Your pussy clenched around the emptiness in your walls as your mind went wild and your fingers drew circles slowly.

"I'd love to know if that tongue is good at licking as much as it is at dirty talking" you joked, finding his eyes somewhere on the screen again.

"You can bet I'd have your legs trembling and your ears beeping after you cum" he smirked. "Slide two fingers in. Open up for me".

And just the same way you allowed your fingers to go down your folds and sink them inside of you, you saw San spitting on his hand and wrapping it around his shaft again.

"That's it, honey. Knuckles deep" he encouraged you, making the biggest effort to keep his eyes open through his own pleasure. "Pump them in and out as if it were my cock".

The praise in his words, the way he controlled your movements even from afar had you completely out of your mind. You were sure the sound of his voice was giving you more pleasure than your own fingers.

Managing to open your eyelids, that felt heavy as ever before, you got a moan stuck in the back of your throat as you saw him pumping his cock at a steady pace. The way you were able to see your opened legs through the corner of your eyes, while your eyes were fixed on the porn scene he was pulling made everything hotter. You were sure the temperature rose a few more degrees the moment you started that video call.

"You'd look even better if it was my cock fucking you" he moaned, moving his hand faster on his shaft. "Your tits bouncing every time I pound into you, holding you tight by your hips so you could take it all".

"I bet you'd stretch me out so good" you nodded.

Your brain was close to having a dead short at any time. The naughtiness in his words, mixed with everything that was going on in real life and in your head was too much to handle. Your back arched every time you sinked your fingers in and your palm rubbed on your clit.

"I'm gonna cum" you cried, unable to hold it back any longer.

"I'm so close, too" he groaned, throwing his head back finally. "Wait for me. I'm almost there".

Still moving your fingers in sync with his movements, you found yourself at the edge of the cliff, only allowing yourself to jump from it when you heard muttering he was ready, too. Both of your moans got mixed in the air as you both reached your highs. And, slowly, those moans turned to loud pants while you tried to get some oxygen back to your lungs.

Daring to look at him, you found San with his head falling back to the chair, eyes still closed while he smiled pleased.

"It was amazing" he whispered.

"Yeah" you agreed, sighing.

He finally opened his eyes, and you were mesmerized by how beautiful and genuinely they looked. You saw him getting some air, and opening his mouth, before he got interrupted by a male voice coming from outside the room "Where the fuck is the controller? I need to beat these assholes' asses".

Managing to cover your body with the robe again, you smile at a pissed of San. "It's alright, you can text me later"

"I won't take long" he assured you, before he hung up the video call.

Back in the silence and loneliness in your room, you made your best at holding in the sudden need to jump on the bed and dance away in excitement.

Your bad streak was finally over.

Most probably this will turn into a long fanfic, just like Kalla did. So take this as a snippet of what's to come soon!

#ff #smut #one shot #reader insert #san #choi san #san smut #ateez #choisanxreader #sanxreader #armpirate

104 notes · View notes

thesunshineriptide · 2 years

Note

Hello! Saw you were looking for twst requests so how about how a first date with the nrc freshmen go? (Or the vice house wardens if you prefer) I actually love both groups so much ;w;

I did all the first years and two vice house wardens because I love the vice house wardens very much I am a simp

For the Very First Time

Characters: Ace, Deuce, Jack, Jade, Jamil, Epel, Sebek

Tw// sickness, Jade typical behavior, fish, food

Ace

* You and Ace probably begin dating in early October

* Probably asks you out really casually when you’re just hanging out

* Not the type to ask you with a grand gesture, but he comes off a little shy

* For your first date, he’s taking you to the cinema

* It’s October, which means there’s lots of horror movies out

* He’s the type to make you pay for yourself, but he isn’t taking you somewhere fancy so it doesn’t cost you much

* You guys decide to go see a horror movie because he’s doing the macho thing where he’s like “I’ll protect you”

* He’s fine for the first half hour but he starts freaking out

* Laugh at him for being a dumbass please

* Both of you sneak out while someone’s getting murdered on screen and slide your way into Minions: Rise of Gru

* This is the best choice ever because you both have no idea what’s going on and end up just cuddling in the back of the theater.

* Ace probably throws popcorn at you

* After the movie he’ll take you for a walk

* Unfortunately it starts raining and you two get caught in it

* He takes off his jacket and holds it over your head as you run into a cafe for shelter

* He buys you a cookie as an apology

* Next day he has a cold and whines to you about it while he asks you for another date (and a get better kiss)

* Overall: 6.5/10 it was kinda a shitshow but he’s cute and trying his best

Deuce

* Deuce probably asks you out mid April

* He takes a long time to confront his emotions and psych himself up

* He totally asks you out and gives you flowers (red roses, with one blue one, all from Heartslabyul’s gardens and painted by himself)

* He’d probably ask you out privately as well, and stumble over every few words nervously

* Your first date is at his dorm actually

* He’s been working really hard on two things:

* Making the perfect spaghetti and meatballs

* And learning to make cookies

* Goes out of his way to get permission from Riddle and Trey to do this because he doesn’t want to piss them off

* His spaghetti is pretty good, actually

* Once you’re done eating and chatting, he invites you to make some chocolate chip cookies with him

* How could you say no to a face like that?

* You two have a great time making a mess

* Freaks out when you eat a little bit of cookie dough because he thinks you’re gonna die

* You two drink hot chocolate while the cookies are baking and he does them fancy.

* Whipped cream, marshmallows, cinnamon, and animal shaped crackers are on top

* The cookies come out a little overdone but it’s okay because they were made with love

* Walks you home

* If you forgot your jacket, he gives you his because he’s a good boy

* The next day you guys hold hands on the way to class

* Overall: 8/10 he’s so pure and sweet but very nervous and you saw him reading over some notes he wrote on his palm to make sure he was doing things right

Jack

* He’s the type of guy to fall in love with you slowly

* He asks you out in early December

* Maybe he’s soft, but seeing fairy lights go up and the smell of warmth makes him wanna cuddle up

* He asks you out at lunchtime

* Pays for and brings you your lunch when he asks you, avoiding eye contact the whole time

* Tail wags when you say yes

* First date is to a holiday fair

* There’s a little ice skating rink, it’s flurrying out, and you can smell roasting nuts and cider down the block

* Takes you earlier in the day on a weekend, which means it’s a little packed, but he never loses you

* He’s paying for the date, anything you want you get

* Probably shares a soft pretzel with you

* If you ask him to ice skate he pretends he isn’t excited

* Will guide you around the rink, holding onto you carefully the whole time

* Buys you hot apple cider or hot cocoa

* Every time your face seems to get a little red he reaches over and readjusts your scarf or jacket

* “You have to keep warm, I don’t want you getting sick.”

* If any of the crafts/clothes/ornaments in the stalls interests you, he will get it for you without a peep

* Takes you home in the late afternoon and doesn’t leave until he’s sure you don’t have hypothermia

* Overall 7/10 he’s a gentleman but he’s also a tsundere

Jade

* Jade would probably take years to warm up to you

* Definitely after you’ve both graduated college is when he’s ask you out

* Probably in may-ish?

* It’s beginning to warm, things are springing back to life

* He knows exactly how to charm someone

* Brings you a token of his affections (a necklace with a Jade pendant)

* Invites you to take a walk with him before he asks you out

* On your first date he takes you to an art museum

* He pays for your date, his pride would be wounded if you didn’t let him

* Looked up a map to get a layout of the museum first and checked the flow of traffic through it over the course of two weeks so he could pick the time when there’s least amount of people there, and figured out where to start

* Walks with you slowly, occasionally commenting on an art piece he knows about

* Mostly just chats with you about anything that comes to mind

* You will probably hold up 78% of the conversation so just be prepared

* He doesn’t think about conversational stuff because he’s not uncomfortable with silence. He just likes being around you

* But Jade is Jade so you probably already know that

* After you’re done with the museum he’ll take you for a walk to a pier where you can admire the beach

* If you drag him into the sand he spends most of the time watching you or collecting shells

* Walks you home when you seem tired. WILL have you wear his jacket even if you’re not cold

* Once you’re at home he gifts you the seashells he collected (with you in mind) and kisses your hand as he bids you farewell

* Grab him by the collar and give him a kiss. He’ll be so flustered you might actually get a real smile out of him

* The next day he walks you to your classes, alternating between carrying your books and intertwining your pinkie fingers

* Overall: 7.3/10 points off for accidentally making it awkward but points back for being swoon worthy

Jamil

* Jamil will crush on you for months before asking you out

* Also, he doesn’t ask you out

* No, Kalim intervenes because Jamil is grumpier than usual by ambushing you both with a date.

* It happens on Valentine’s Day, aka the day where sad bitches are saddest

* Kalim begs Jamil for some help with a mystery date he has for his valentine and asks him for his advice and help planning

* Basically, Jamil does the whole thing while Kalim is rubbing his hands together with an evil smile in the background

* It turns out he asked you the same thing, but instead he tasked you with retrieving flowers and a gift for ‘his’ sweetheart

* Cue confused noises when you and Jamil cross paths and Kalim just goes “happy Valentine’s Day!!” And dips

* So, uh, surprise, you and Jamil are on a date now

* It’s awkward for a few minutes before you start laughing at Kalim’s antics, prompting Jamil to laugh too

* “I mean, I was planning on asking you today, but I thought you’d be too busy wrangling Kalim.”

* Jamil’s face heats up and he pushes down a smile, “I was planning on asking you, but then I was busy wrangling Kalim.”

* You two talk over some of Jamil’s cooking, chatting happily about anything and everything and your misadventures in fulfilling Kalim’s requests

* Jamil is softer that night, because apparently Kalim went off to bother Azul since he’s bitchless and responsible, which means he’s in nirvana

* He doesn’t walk you home but he does go pick up Kalim from daycare, and you aren’t far away, so he might as well pop in for a minute…

* You two end up making out on your couch for the rest of the night

* Morning after he’s gone, but he made you breakfast and left it in the fridge with a note asking you out on a second date

* Overall: ???/10 your first date wasn’t planned but it was fun once you got over that

Epel

* Epel doesn’t have the balls to ask you out, okay?

* You’re asking him out

* You just sort of slide up to him while he’s carving apple birds in the cafeteria and ask him if he wants to go apple picking with you

* Immediately says yes, is not aware it’s a date

* Once you two nail out the details of when you’re going, he finally catches up to the fact it might be a date

* This is confirmed when you shoot him a text the day before asking if he’s still cool with the date

* He’s squealing, kicking his feet in the air, screaming into his pillow

* Vil ends up telling him to shut up it’s literally 10:30 at night

* He almost gets too excited about the date that he doesn’t sleep

* He does get a few hours of shuteye once he nails down every detail

* He picks out the best outfit, best shoes, checks his bank account and oh dear lord that’s so empty flies are coming out of it, he even takes a shower on his own

* He has butterflies in his stomach when you come to the dorm to pick him up

* He’s dressed like a cowboy and a lumberjack at the same time please don’t comment on it

* When you arrive at the apple orchard he’s bouncing around like a kid in fuckin Disney world

* Infodumps about apples

* Also comments on the quality of apples and talks about his family’s farm

* He needs help reaching the apples please help him he’s too short

* Has 0 chill but he’s really cute

* Will pick apples specifically so he can make you some apple pie later

* You’re paying for the date, right? He never asks, but never offers to pay either so you can just assume

* Apple boy is excited because it’s his three favorite things at once: you, being covered in dirt, and apples

* He doesn’t bother pretending to be prissy here because he knows you won’t hold it against him, you asked him out you know he’s a gremlin

* Takes home way too many apples with a bright grin on his face and on the way back he tells out funny stories about his childhood

* Falls asleep on your shoulder after a while

* You end up having to carry him inside because he is snoring like a trucker and refuses to wake up

* Next day he shows up at your place carrying a homemade apple pie

* Overall: 4.6/10 he’s having the time of his life which is fun but he’s an acquired taste. His pie is tasty though

Sebek

* He begrudgingly asks you out in March because Lilia told him he needs a life outside of Malleus

* He actually does like you, but maybe not enough to warrant a date just yet, those feelings are still blooming, yknow?

* His idea of a date is taking you to an aquarium and telling you about all of the animals, regardless of if you’re interested

* It’s kind of nice to have someone playing tour guide

* The date has a pretty platonic feel to it aside from the fact that you are forcibly holding Sebek’s hand as you walk around

* “It’s so I don’t get lost!” “I WILL NOT LOSE YOU, HUMAN, THERE ARE FIVE OTHER PEOPLE PRESENT”

* The only time he quiets down is when you reach the underwater exhibit, where he pauses for a moment to just stare at the water

* He begins to quietly tell you some of his more secret thoughts, and is surprised when you lean in to hug his arm and lean your head on his shoulder

* “I think you’re doing amazing, Sebek.”

* He’s softer when you walk through the rest of the aquarium, and even buys you a crocodile plush that you name Sebek Jr.

* He refuses to refer to the plush as his son, but he does blush and get very flustered

* He pays for your lunch, but he also orders for you so there’s that

* “It’s what Lilia-sama recommends!” (It tastes like ass, but it’s free)

* Walks you and Sebek Jr home, bows when you’re about to go inside

* Gets very flustered when you peck his cheek

* Decides that it wasn’t that bad and perhaps he might invite you for another date some other time, but he’s really just not ready for that yet

* The next day you two are closer but not really in a romantic sense yet. You’re both young and Sebek needs a lot more time to really come out of his crocodile cave

* He will absolutely get flustered if he ever sees you and Sebek Jr around again though

* Overall: 5/10 it wasn’t bad but it wasn’t knock your socks off amazing either. You know a bunch of fish facts now though and he paid so

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midnightinwales · 2 months

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@grapesnolives thank you for the link, I'll check it out during the weekend. I agree that their experimentation is always beautiful and fascinating to hear. They had singular sensitivity to the emotion – sound axis. And you can never be bored with it.

I've moved us to a new post, since our conversation is veering off the topic of the original post and I think we've hijacked enough of that already ;)

Unfortunately, I don't have the source for that quote about Robert, as I have been consuming a lot (and I mean A LOT) about LZ in the past few months, but in quite a chaotic manner and I haven't been taking notes. But If I come across it again, I'll send it to you. I was also surprised by it, but I guess it makes sense, since it was originally Jimmy's band and I believe that as time went by and Jimmy was losing his grip on reality more and more, Robert might have felt constricted a bit or started to develop a need for more independence. Nothing unusual in that, it happens in pretty much any band. He might have also been genuinely annoyed at the endless solos, quite like Bonzo, and JPJ probably too. I mean, to make a six and a half minutes long song into 45 minutes is both amazing and unnecessary lol. And Robert did have a bit of an imposter syndrome, still has, actually. He often spoke about them as 'three musicians and me'. 'I'm just a wedding singer who sang with musicians', and how his elaborate singing style developed as a method to stay in the song, cause the long musical intervals made him feel irrelevant. He definitely wanted to impress Jimmy and there was a lot of reverence for him as the worldly, knowledgeable, experienced musician who created his own band. But that began to disappear when Jimmy got heavily into heroin imo and definitely lost after 1977. Robert's priorities changed. His view of life changed. The love was still there, but Jimmy was no longer someone that Robert had to live up to, so to speak. Now he was someone to protect (and, in a way, someone to mourn). But the initial experiences formed Robert as a singer, set his standards and informed his view of musical expression.

I've also noticed that he makes fun of Bonzo (the diarrhea jokes will live with me forever, thanks Bob :/ ) and JPJ (and himself, occasionally), but not of Jimmy. IMO that's because he and Bonzo were 'bros', mates, and that's typical friendly behaviour in this kind of relation. JPJ was also a guy in the band and concert is entertainment, so it's only fair to make people laugh. It created a sense of dynamics, each band member had his quirks and image to play with. But with Jimmy he is only ever sweet and attentive. Not least because Jimmy Page can't take a joke imo. He's quite fragile and Robert knew it very, very well. But this doesn't read to me as reverential, but rather as caring. He knew not to make Jimmy the centre of attention that he might not see as entirely friendly. And his mysterious image had to be uphold too. I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but whenever Robert speaks to Jimmy his tone of voice slightly changes. It becomes softer and warmer. ‘is it alright, love?’ kind of thing. He definitely wanted to be in Jimmy’s good books and for more than one reason.

I’m not surprised you thought they were a duet, seeing the photos. I recall seeing photos of LZ throughout my life and they’ve always been focused on J and R. I didn’t know what the other band members looked like before I started listening to the band. I knew Bonzo’s name because of his tragic death, like I do many other musicians’ who met their ends way too early, and knew that he is recognised as one of the, if not the greatest rock drummer of all times. But that was about it. IMO, he is the greatest of them all and he’s the only one whose drumming makes me genuinely tear up. There is as much emotion in Bonzo’s drumming as there is in Robert’s singing. Astonishing.

If you’re asking how I got into the story of J and R, it was quite simple really. I remembered the photos I’ve mentioned (mostly the WLL mic in the hair singing) which have always looked very suggestive to me and had heard before that part of the magic of LZ was the interplay between the two, and so when I finally got into their music I started doing my research to see if my initial impression was correct. And found plenty of evidence to confirm it, some of it much more straightforward then expected. But if you’re asking how I got into LZ then I’d say it was time for them to come into my life. One night on YT they appeared on my list and the journey began. I knew some of their songs before (STH, WLL, Dazed, a couple of others) and I had quite an emotional experience listening to Stairway as a young teenager, but that was the extent of it. I firmly believe that music comes to us at the right time and there’s no point in forcing it. It will find you if it’s meant to. And it will be a journey you’ll never forget.

Have you always been interested in drumming or is it the first time when it has captured your attention so much? Have you been into LZ for a long time?

#led zeppelin musings

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spicesweet · 2 months

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I found that for several days I'll be able to eat clean and balanced meals but then on the weekend if I go out to eat with family or friends, I can't seem to make myself choose the healthiest option and if I do get something I like then the rest of the day I seem to forget about my commitment to eating healthy and losing weight and i feel like I'm back where I started each week. I've had some problems with emotional eating and I think eating out especially is a comfort thing for me and seems to trigger that part of my brain that I can control most of the week. Maybe I should just stop eating out for a awhile until I can control myself better. Thank you for reading, this is frustrating for me because I didn't realize before why weekends specifically seem to trigger my issues with food.

thank you for sharing and trusting me with this message! 🤍

I'm not sure if you want to hear my thoughts on this but I'll say them anyway and you can just ignore them if you want to.

I think what you're going through is extremely normal and not bad in any way, shape or form. this is not a sign of failure and you'll never go back to where you started! there's no going back, even if you decided to completely give up on all your current routine and efforts; you've already made changes, which means the old you is gone forever. I love that post that is like the happy and the sad guys in the bus and both of them say "there's no old self to go back to" because it's soooo true! unfortunately, even if you decide to self-destruct, it'll be an entirely new thing. you can never erase this progress, this mentality that you have formed, you'll never erase the changes you've made.

the important thing I think you need to learn/focus on is that progress is not a straight line of perpetual, endless, unstoppable growth. there's no such thing in any organism, entity or concept on this planet and, as far as I know, in any other planet. you'll always have off days, bad moments, and yes, even complete and utter failures, in anything you struggle towards, in anything you want to achieve, any project, any desire. you'll never be a perfect abstract flawless washed up organism. you're life, you're earth, you're a piece of chaos herself.

BUT! that's not to say that what you're describing to me is a failure. not picking the healthiest option on a menu when you're out to have fun doesn't mean you're doing something wrong, getting off track, losing progress, back to square one, none of that. food is not meant to be simply fuel, simply a means to an end, and if your healthy diet becomes a chore and a form of punishment, the stress of it alone will hinder your project. eating clean, healthy food is not something that you should do for a couple of months until you achieve a certain number on a scale or a certain shape in the mirror! it's a lifestyle change that should continue with you forever, because that's one of the main ways you can care for and protect yourself.

but that's not all there is to food and to eating and to living and caring for yourself! there's food for the heart too, food for the soul, food that makes us feel warm and that makes us have fun even if it's not the healthiest, most nutritious possible thing on the menu. there is absolutely nothing, NOTHING wrong with going out on the weekend and eating whatever you want, especially if you've been keeping a healthy diet the majority of the time! fun-over-health or flavor-over-nutrition meals are not gonna do anything bad to your body and soul unless you let it.

if you decide that eating a pizza over a salad is morally wrong, then it will damage and harm you, because it'll frustrate you, shame you, stress you out. and you don't deserve any of that. actually, even if you weren't keeping a healthy diet, you still wouldn't deserve to actively hurt your mental health over it. it's not worth it and it's completely arbitrary. you can decide whether these meals will make you feel bad, and you really, really should be kinder to yourself. there's a time and place for everything. you're allowed to have fun, to be spontaneous, to do whatever the hell you want.

besides, what's the point of keeping a clean lifestyle if you're not allowed to use your body as you wish? what's the point of having all this health if you can't enjoy it? what's the point of restricting and struggling and working hard if you won't give yourself credit and merit and allow yourself to exist without pressure?

if you're reading this and you want my true opinion, there's nothing for you to change or worry about. you can have fun with food and still keep a healthy lifestyle. you can't stress over every single second of your day, over every single bite you take, over every single item on the menu. you're working so hard on this body of yours, but don't forget that you also need to let your soul be. have fun and enjoy it! life's too short and too gloomy already to worry about dinner with friends and family on the weekends. please take these words to heart, I absolutely mean each and every one of them 🤍

#loveletters

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sasa-slayer · 11 months

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Katsuki x GN!reader

Summary: Best friends to lovers, idiot style. Because they doubt themselves too much.

Warnings: Cussing, hints to Mina drinking, and monkey brain mindset that assumes way too much.

”(Y/N)!”

Katsuki yelled as he ran over to me as we finally won the fight. As he reached me I naturally opened my arms, wanting his presence after this exhausting battle.

But I wasn’t expecting him to lean into the hug, grabbing my face as he stole my breath away.

Literally.

Like, Katsuki Bakugo, my best friend and boy who I love more than life itself, is kissing me. Holy shit, Holy shit, HOLY SH- what do I do? I love Katsuki, but am I willing to risk out friendship for a relationship? Wait, what if he doesn’t actually love me and only has a stupid crush on me or what if-

After a second, Katsuki pulls back and stares at me in mix of worry and shock. But before I have the chance to clarify what just happened, we’re interrupted by yells.

“Bakubro! (N/N)! Are you all ok!?”

“That was an epic finishing move!”

Kirishima and Kaminari bombarded us with questions and compliments.

“I’m fine, and you did an awesome job of paralyzing the villain Kami. I’m going to go fill out my report, and... um, and then head out.”

~~~

“So, that’s what happened...” I finished explaining to Mina.

“You’re telling me you and boom-boom boy blew us off this past weekend, and yesterday’s lunch, because you and him kissed? I thought you two would be perfect for each other? I mean you two already act like a married couple.” Mina took a huge drink of her “water”.

“Well, yeah. I do like him, like a lot, actually I’ve been in love with him for years in a way that even surpasses romantic interest and-”

“So, what’s the problem???” Interrupting my rant, Mina looked at me like I was a hypochondriac or something.

“The problem is, MINA, that I don’t think he likes me.”

“... You did just say he tried to make out with you, right?”

“YES, but he probably doesn't love me the way I love him. He probably just started crushing on me or something. Knowing Katsuki, if he got the hots for me, then he’d go after what he wants and, you know, kiss me.” I paused and angrily grabbed Mina’s “water” and took a swig. Then, I continued, “He probably got caught up in the moment and kissed me like how I kissed Kiri that one time-“

“HOLY SHIT, you kissed Kirishima!?”

“Look, 2nd year at UA had us all confused. But that’s besides the point, Kiri and me decided we weren’t really into each other like that.”

“You’re going to tell me that story later, but right now, you better clarify some shit with Katsuki. Tell him how you feel, and let him tell you how he feels. It’s not fair to either of you for you to keep assuming how he feels.

~~~

“Wait, you actually kissed her!? Dude, that’s so manly! Still though, that doesn’t explain why you ditched us?”

“I’m avoidin’ them.”

“Bakubro, that is not cool! Why are you avoiding-“

“BECAUSE SHITTY HAIR, they didn’t kiss me back!” Bakugo huffed out as he grabbed his hair and groaned in frustration.

“… I’m sorry man. Have you tried talking to them though? Even if they don’t like you like that, if you really love them, you can’t lose their friendship over a kiss.”

~~~

You: Hey, can we meet up?

Sparky-Sparky, Boom Boom man: Yeah, let’s meet at the old grocery store parking lot

You: ok, see you in around 20 min.

~~~

“Hey, I’m sorry for avoiding you.” I looked at Katsuki and could see the waves of emotions flickering through his eyes.

“you’re good, ‘m sorry to.” Katsuki and I awkwardly held eye contact as he clenched and unclenched his hands. He always did that when he was nervous. I looked away and took a deep breath.

“Katsuki-“

“I’m sorry-“

I looked back at him, and shuffled my feet. “You can go first” I whispered out as I chewed on my lip.

“Look, I’m so sorry for kissing you out of nowhere. I should have asked first. But fuck (Y/n), I love you so much. You mean more to me than anything ever could. You are my best friend, my rock, my supporter, and my rival. I don’t know if I could function without you anymore. And-“ Katsuki hesitated as he heard me sniffle. “Fuck, don’t cry. ‘m sorry. It’s ok if you don’t feel the same way, I just want you in my life”

I couldn’t help it, tears just started streaming down my face.

“Katsuki shut-“

“Like, if you need some time to let things go back to normal that fine. I can give you space, and we can stay friends-”

“KATSUKI! Shut up!” I caught my breath, and started giggling from relief, “I love you. I love you in a way that surpasses my understanding.”

“wait, really? Then why the hell did you not kiss back?” He looked at me confused, but pure joy still seeped through his features.

“because I was scared, scared that you were caught up in the moment of adrenaline.” I bashfully admitted.

“you idiot,” Katsuki wrapped me into a bear hug and nuzzled into my neck “let me make it clear for ya. I love you, and don’t forget it.” “So, do you want to discuss what this means for us?” Katsuki leaned back and asked.

“Nah, I’m too emotionally drained for that conversation. Let’s head back to your place, eat dinner and crash. Then we can discuss it tomorrow.”

“Alright, but you’re cooking’ since you didn’t wash the dishes last time I cooked.”

“No fair! You put on sleepy music, how was I supposed to stay awake and remember!?”

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floralembarrassment · 1 year

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Hi! I love your fics so much they always make my day better <3

I was just wondering if you could write an angsty/Sad Rosekiller fic? Idk why I'm just in the mood to feel pain and i love your writing so yeah :)

Hi you very kind human! I'm glad you find some joy here! What's fun request that made me hurt my own feelings so I hope it hits your pain fancy - as always requests and asks are the best! with love

Burning Desire (1/3) (rosekiller)

The thing with Evan and Barty is that everyone knew they were supposed to be together except them. They were both too stubborn, a bit too dim, and honestly too desperate for one another that neither of them had a clue the other had been pinning for years.

But how was Evan supposed to know? Barty was out flirting with everyone. He was with a different girl to in Hogsmead each weekend, and dancing with a different Slytherin boy every other, and kissing his friends just for fun. When Evan figured out he was ace he nearly threw in the towel, except his heart couldn't let go.

When Evan had both worked up the courage and had had enough, he wrote everything he wanted to tell Barty, planning to burn the note before he spoke to him in person. But as he wrote his heart out he realized that losing his friendship with Barty was actually worse than not telling him about this stupid little crush. Evan crumbled up the note and decided he once and for all needed to get over himself.

Evan went to grab his wand he had thrown on the bed as Barty walked into the dorm. He jumped and quickly set the parchment on fire, and Barty looked at him with a quizzical smirk.

"What are you hiding Rosier? Starting a diary like Regulus are we?" He chided.

In that moment Evan was hurt, especially because he had just decided that he would never be enough for Barty and at least being his friend, being able to be near him would have to be enough. And while he wasn't writing a diary, he did push his emotions down like Regulus and lash out instead.

"How about you mind your fucking business Crouch. You clearly wouldn't know a thing about privacy, seeing as you were basically practicing to be an exhibitionist in the common room with that 7th year," Evan sneered. It was meaner than their usual banter, and Evan knew Barty heard the nastiness in the tone.

Barty threw him a stinging hex, but Evan blocked it with ease: "oh screw off, you're just jealous because you haven't done so much as hold hands with someone since 4th year." Barty hit back.

"Jealous? You think I'm jealous? I don't want anyone you've been with," Evan scoffed, his cheeks flushed, betraying him though. He wasn't jealous about what sexual things Barty did, but he was jealous of those who held him closer...

What Evan didn't know was that Barty was only trying to get over his long lust for Evan. Evan never once reciprocated his flirtations, even when he was crudely foreword. How was Barty supposed to know why Evan was really jealous. Barty wanted to offer to help Evan find someone, but he never could bring himself to it, always thankful that Evan would decline because Barty wasn't sure he could handle seeing Evan with anyone else.

"Well clearly you are hiding something," is all Barty ended up replying. "I'll just forget it okay?" He finished and Evan sighed, just looking down at his shoes.

Barty stepped forward, reaching out like he normally would to pull Evan into a hug, but Evan jolted back. Barty looked at him surprised, they always hugged to make up after they snapped at it each other.

"I... I gotta go," Evan said and he nearly ran out of the room.

Barty stood for a moment confused and concerned. Clearly something was going on with Evan. He moved to his desk to fix it up and see if his herbology homework needed to be done, maybe help cheer him up. But he noticed that the first page of the homework was missing and the second page was singed. Did Evan burn his homework? Barty thought, but then he looked around him and saw the crumpled up piece of paper that must be the first page. When Barty picked it up though, he froze.

#did i know i had an asks box? no #rosekiller #hurt/angst #maybe hurt comfort? probably not #y'all asked for the pain #fanfic #lgbtq+#evan x barty #asexual evan rosier #evan rosier #barty crouch junior #marauders #slytherin skittles

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