#but FUCK IT. self indulgent giffing is good for the soul

[onestopfanficshop]

könig headcanons

warnings: afab!reader, mentions of unprotected sex, oral sex, thigh riding and fucking, and an (accidentally) broken condom lol

A/N: this is so self indulgent LMFAO. can you believe i've had this sitting in my drafts for over three weeks? i hope y'all enjoy bc there's not enough content for this man fr! gif not mine :)

will use your fingers as a human fidget toy

he likes to rub his chin when he’s thinking real hard about something

loves grapes (green ones only, and they have to be cold)

the left corner of his nose constantly gets dry for whatever reason so he’s always needing to put extra lotion there

hums under his breath without realizing it and it's the cutest thing ever. especially if he’s alone with you, or if he’s just relaxed and in his element

he really loves to cook but he's too lazy to do the cleanup after he's done

has better than 20/20 eyesight; idk, i just feel deep in my soul that he does

if he's lying on his stomach and you start rubbing his back or scratching it, he'll literally melt it is the most relaxing thing in the world to him

his morning voice is super deep and raspy. i feel so strongly about this it just has to be true

is a snob about bread. he just likes a nice warm loaf of well baked bread okay?

when you first started dating, it would sometimes scare him when he would wake up in the middle of the night and see you lying there peacefully next to him; he had never shared a bed with someone else before so it took him a while to get used to it 

but once he does he literally will treat you like a human body pillow. which sounds cute in theory but it's not 😭 like if you need to go pee in the middle of the night, good luck getting yourself untangled from him without waking him up (spoiler alert: it's not really possible to do bc he's the lightest sleeper on planet earth). you can either hold it or deal with a groggy and slightly grumpy könig the next day lolol

is the clingiest bf ever. if you let him, könig will sit on the floor next to you while you’re in the bath and hold your hand if you dangle it off the side of the tub while you watch a show together

speaking of baths this man hates taking them. he's never found a tub big enough to fit him so he just doesn't bother. he hates when his skin gets super wrinkly from being in water for too long anyways

loves to put a bunch of creamers and sweeteners in his coffee. the first time you took him to starbucks he was like a kid in a candy shop when you told him all the different flavored syrups that they had

doesn't like swimming; i mean he knows how to do it (bc of his job) but it's not his favorite thing to do. he feels like the water is always working against him lol

yeah he has social anxiety but when he's with you? especially once he gets comfy with you? yeah that's a different man entirely

like he loves to tease you constantly, is very cocky, and is super funny in a witty dry humor type of way

is absolutely the type of boyfriend to keep a joke going once he sees you're laughing really hard at it just so he can continue to hear your laugh :,)

know how to make jams from scratch for some reason; his favorites are peach and strawberry jam

one time he finished making a fresh batch of jams; you tied cute little ribbons around the jars and jokingly said you were "proud of the jams we made"

könig shaking his head because you didn't do shit except for stir a few times and sneak some tastes when you *thought* he wasn't looking (he's always looking)

buuuut he loves you so he plays along and tells you that you did amazing

makes fun of you if you like to watch cheesy or dumb shows but then 10 minutes later he's on the couch next to you, fully invested and asking you who the characters are and what's going on in the plot

is bad at sharing his food. even with you. he's more than happy to get you seconds but just don't touch his food, alright?

love language is 📢PHYSICAL TOUCH📢

followed by acts of service and quality time obviously. but yeah... the man is handsy. better get used to it

nsfw

first time you guys did it, it was awkward but in a really cute way. he was very, very nervous but also overly confident at the same time somehow? it was a potent mix

he'd watched porn before and gotten himself off but he didn't really know what to expect irl. he just knew that he wanted to make you feel good

when you tried to put one of the condoms you had on him, it broke. this man is huge so EVERY part of him is huge. like it just split clean in half 😭 and he turned bright red and started apologizing profusely 

it was super intense up until that happened and you just started bursting into giggles which just made him grab your neck and kiss you to shut you up

that laughter turned into moaning real quick mhm

you eventually just told him to pull out and you would take a morning-after pill just in case; the prospect of fucking you without a condom made him more excited than he wanted to admit 

has a ridiculous amount of stamina, we're talking three rounds at the absolute LEAST

LOVES thigh fucking and cannot get enough of it. especially since he can go for a lot of rounds, and if you tire more easily, he loves it as an alternative. something about cumming all over your thighs sends him into overdrive

speaking of thighs, thigh riding? oh yeah. that'll do it for him. that'll do it! his eyes would go so wide with awe at the fact that he could make you feel that good without doing anything. especially if you wrap your hands around his neck and you're so close to his face that your noses are touching; you're panting and trying your hardest not to moan loudly so no one else will hear? he's gonna fucking fall apart

whenever he's on top of you, he's infinitely careful to not put all of his weight own you, despite you telling him multiple times that you wouldn't mind and that you could handle it

dirty talk would get him flustered but at the same time, he'd have the stupidest grin on his face if you did it 

if you wear lingerie he'll like- he'll literally die and go to heaven. especially the fancy ones with the garters and the stockings, even though he has absolutely zero clue how they work. like i'm imagining him sitting on the edge of the bed, you standing in front of him and staring right into his eyes as you guide his hands to the garters to take the stockings off (JUST GAVE MYSELF BUTTERFLIES LEMME RUN A LAP REAL QUICK)

okay i'm back where were we

i feel like what he does after you're done sort of depends on you. like if you get a huge burst of energy after sex and you wanna stay up and talk he will totally do it. but also if you're the type of person that immediately falls asleep after he'll go right to sleep with you

if he’s on top and you dig your fingers into his biceps he will bust right then and there. trust me.

THIS MAN EATS PUSSY FOR PLEASURE PERIOD. i will not accept any other truth. he’ll literally grind down into the sheets while he’s eating you out and has probably accidentally came a few times from doing so. he especially loves when your thighs squeeze around his head, and all the pretty little noises you make when he does it. as soon as he can tell you’re close he starts to give you the most intense eye contact while he’s doing it and it’ll probably send you over the edge

he loves being on top because he can cage you in and he has access to your neck to give it non-stop kisses and hickeys

but on the other hand he also loves it when you're on top; his hands will never leave your hips and he'll be gripping onto them like his life depends on it

when he cums, he cums hard and a lot. it's basically like a fountain... sometimes, when he does it while he's still inside of you, there'll be so much that it actually leaks out of you and onto the bed

was kind of self conscious about it and felt bad for making a mess until you told him it was nothing to be embarrassed about and it had actually turned you way on

for someone that doesn't prefer to talk all that much outside, this man is--whew. he is vocal like he is fucking paid to do it. especially when he's about to cum or if you're on top of him. this is a man that is not afraid to moan fr fr.

he's always asking you if you're okay and if what he's doing feels good to you. "is this alright?" is a sentence you've heard countless times and yet it still gives you goosebumps always

unspoken rule that if you're wearing his clothes you're gonna get fucked right then and there 😭 just accept it. könig seeing his SO in his clothes is always gonna do it for him!

#könig #könig cod #könig smut #könig hc #könig x reader #könig mw2 #könig x you #könig call of duty #onestopfanficshop

[this-is-krikkit]

Top 5 queer characters

ooooh good one, thank you !!

5. Frankie Bergstein. The most gentle soul out there, hilarious whether she wants to be or not, an incredibly loving and warm character who ends up falling in love with a woman who's shown her nothing but disdain most of their lives before they end up in the same shitty situation. What i especially love about her is that in my headcanon where that show didn't queerbait us to death, she's the bold and crazy one who doesn't care about other people's opinion, she's the one you'd expect to be brave and loud and clear about how she's in love with her best friend and it's not just platonic. But i actually love the idea that she might be the one struggling most with that realization and how to act on it, because she used to be so open and loving of everything and everyone (and still seems that way) for the seven decades before the show starts ; and she got her heart broken so badly from the twenty year old affair, that although she did get attached to Grace quickly enough and jokes about being more than friends all the time, she's deadly afraid of those feelings and what may come of them. I absolutely love this strong and funny and silly woman on the outside, who hides a much more vulnerable and frightened woman on the inside, who deserves all the lifetime of love and affection Grace has never allowed herself to feel or show anyone.. until now, post-canon !!

4. Crawley, my actual demon child, who is way too good for this world, and the other two he's visited. (And i've been torturing myself for a solid half hour trying to pick between him and his equally amazing boyfriend Aziraphale, and ended up flipping a coin for it. I'm sorry Aziraphale. I love you so much.) Anyways, back to Crawley and his ridiculous crush on an angel that makes him do crazy things such as going to actual heaven to save said angel's ass, and who embodies Iris by the Goo goo Dolls so perfectly it's a lil suspicious and he probably had smth to do with that song coming to life while he was under cover on Earth. I love a tv show that brings a book to my attention, i loved both of those media and i cannot wait for season 2.

(do i need to explain that gif choice ? no i don't. bye.)

3. Charity Dingle, chaotic bisexual icon if i ever saw one !! haven't had a chance to catch up with the soap since the Vanity shit hit the fan, but i'll get back to her one day because i miss the truly Slytherin Queen that she is (sorry for the HP mention but it belongs to us now, fuck JKR and terfs in general). Pretty sure she's the most flawed character in this list, but i apparently LOVE a queer anti hero ? She's a lot of things and not all of them good ; she's a cheat, a liar, a bad mom most of the time, selfish and venale and has trust issues towards everyone and herself the size of a mountain. She's also a survivor of terrible abuse, a fighter, a love-starved but deeply insecure person who won't let that be seen easily. She's the only such representation i've ever seen of a wlw woman esp in a popular soap, and her simply existing gives me so much hope that society might just be evolving in the right direction ? Idk man, on the good days where i still have faith for lgbt future, she sorta gives me hope for our queer lives to become part of the norm and not just sensational and weird.

2. Regina Mills from OUAT. What a great show with a great lesbian power couple and awesome message about queer families, or so i'm yelling somewhere in that parallel universe where the two cowards who wrote it grew courage instead of magic beans and made Swan Queen canon. I grew to love this character, it wasn't love at first sight (although def lust at first sight, shout out to them Evil Queen gowns) and now i'm trying to write self indulgent fics from her pov and day dreaming about all the things she deserved that she never got. Best redemption arc (apart from my #1 down there maybe) i've ever seen, a full badass bitch energy. Sidenote, Lana Parrilla being the biggest and loudest Swan Queen supporter in the cast felt suspicious to me in the beginning (idk, i don't get me either), but i'm finally at a point where i can fully appreciate how awesome that was of her.

(Yes that gif was queerbait. Yes i still get excited seeing it.)

1. Obv my number 1 queer bitch forever is ROOT from Person of Interest, it's been 6 years and i'm still in denial of the byg trope they pushed down my throat a meer day after she finally got her tiny sociopathic soulmate back. She was a lot of things that i can't detail or i would die from dehydration bc the tears would consume my entire stock of water, but she also happened to appear in a TV show i actually loved. I mean i did start watching strictly for the gayness i vaguely knew was ahead, let's be real, but POI is a show i really came to love so much even when she wasn't a main character. It touched me deeply, and i still rewatch it and get blown away by the genius of so many of its episodes, from the mind blowing plot twists to the soundtrack. I had so many kids on that show and loved them all so much, just thinking about it hurts... We were robbed of a Shoot reboot, and i'll leave it at that.

(look at her being so passionate and right and fierce and hot. loooooook. i would have followed her into battle from day one of her psych ward escape 😢 )

#root #regina mills #charity dingle #crawley #frankie bergstein #wlw #lgbt characters #lgbt stuff #person of interest #once upon a time #emmerdale #good omens #gay omens #grace and frankie #still mad at three fo these for their finales lmao #tumblr games #trying-to-get-somewhere-real #asks #I HAD TO PICK AMONGST ALL MY KIDS I FEEL LIKE SUCH A BAD PARENT AAAH

[starrynite7114]

Two Weeks (Miguel Galindo)

A/N: Tomorrow is my final and I think I’ve reached the point of a mental breakdown that you’re just numb to it. But no matter, positive thoughts all around and hoping my brain isn’t so mean anymore. But due to this, I needed a much needed distraction and finished part one of my Miguel mini series. He may be a little OOC, but I hope you all enjoy this lovely work of mine.

Everything is you, Snapshots, Misconstrued, and two requests will be posted within the next two weeks. 

Also may be adding Rio to my lovely writing list, we’ll see. 

This is my brain on procrastination, please forgive me. 

Love you all and I hope you lovelies are having an amazing week thus far!

Masterlist

Tagged list: @justahopelessssromantic​ : @ifoundmyhappythought​ : @carlaangel86​ : @marvelmaree​ : @woahitslucyylu​ : @encounterthepast​ : @enamoured-x​ : @whyisgmora​ : @briana-mishell24​ : @bribri-82​ : @briannab1234​ : @chibsytelford​ : @agirllovespasta​ : @twistnet​ : @everyhowlmarksthedead​ : @trulysuccubus​ : @jadert15​ : @sammskellington​ : @cind-in-real-life​ : @claytoncardenasbabymama​ : @sadeyesgf​ : @thickemadame​ : @summertimesadnesswithadashofsass​ : @gemini0410​ : @elcococruz​ : @samcrobae​ : @sesamepancakes​ : @iambabyharry​ : @blackmissfrizzle​ : @soamayansfangirl​ : @1-800-imagines​ : @phoenixhalliwell​ : @lady-pswrld​ : @dazzledamazon​  : @getyourcrayoncas​ : @fvckthisbxtchup​ : @lukealvxz​ : @scuzmunkie​ : @nakusaych9​ : @danie1432​ : @cocotheclown​ : @soaronmywings​ : @my-rosegold-soul​ : @buttercup812​ : @itskiranbitch​ : @angelreyesgirl​ : @sheeshgivemeabreak​ : @vicmackeybullshxt​ : @strawberrywritings​ : @cherry-icetea​  : @losolvidad0s​ : @brownsugarcoffy​ : @courtrae89​​ : @blessedboo​​ : @dark-twisted-and-mechanical-mind​​ : @fariesandwanderlust​​ : @behindmyeyes-insidemyhead​ : @xserenax-13​ : @whatupitshuff​ : @aquamento​ : @justvnash​ : @maddie-georges​ : @itskiranbitch​

If you would like to be added to the tag list, please leave a comment below or just message me!

CREDIT TO THE ORIGINAL GIF CREATOR!

You couldn’t do this, you were at wits end. You wanted nothing more than to throw your work phone away as it constantly rang, constantly interfered with your life, sanity, sleep, and did you already say sanity? Just in case, your sanity. 

“If I ignore it, it never happened.” You looked at the clock and it was three in the morning, you had to be up in three hours to get ready for work to see this despicable man once more. 

The ringing stopped, a sigh of relief overtaking your body. Your eyes closed and yet again, it fucking rang.

“FUCK YOU MIGUEL GALINDO.”

You took a deep breath, gathering what remained of your sanity.

“Hello Mr. Galindo, what can I do for you at three in the morning?”

His chuckle rang across the phone, aggravating you more. “Ooh, Mr. Galindo? I’m in trouble, rightfully so. I apologize for calling you so early in the morning, but I’m in a bit of a conundrum.”

“Miguel, I am not picking you up from Alejandra’s place.”

“I gave Nestor the night off.” He argued.

“I’m technically off too you asshole!” You were one of the few who didn’t fear Miguel. You knew of his capabilities, but you figured you were far too valuable.

“Yes, I am fully aware of that, your nights are sacred. But you know I rarely call you on nights.” He countered.

“Correct that statement.”

“Anymore.” He corrected himself. 

“Miguel, why do you continue to meet this girl if you’re not interested in her?” Ever since his divorce with Emily two years ago, Miguel has been single and kept it that way. Which in hindsight was for the best. With the cartel, real estate, which he still headed with Emily, and the rebels, he had plenty of things to occupy his time. But you knew why he liked the causality of his relationship with Alejandra. 

No strings attached.

No questions.

No commitments.

It fit his lifestyle.

“Because, I have needs and you know, she’s easy on the eyes.”

You begrudgingly got out of bed and made sure to sigh loudly. Miguel chuckled, and you just cussed his name in the three languages you knew. 

“Stop cussing me out in your head. Are you coming to get me?”

“I get the day off.”

“Absolutely not.”

“Better cuddle up then.”

“Fine, but we’re having breakfast then you can have your day off.”

“No work talk during breakfast or the ride home.”

Miguel groaned. “Deal.”

===========

You sat across from Miguel at this diner in San Diego, your usual spot whenever you picked him up from Alejandra’s. Miguel rarely indulged himself or let his real self out due to his obligations as a cartel head. He had a reputation to maintain, his playful and joking nature was hardly in display. But whenever he let himself be free, it was easy to see why Emily fell for him. 

You didn’t, but you could acknowledge why your asshole of a boss could be charming.

You dedicated ten years to Miguel. He taught you the ins and outs of business along with his illegal activities. If he was ever indicted, you knew you would be a target as well. Miguel always tried to keep you out of the cartel side of things, but that proved to be difficult. 

Straight out of college, twenty-two years young with your English major in hand, you applied for Miguel’s assistant position. What was supposed to be an in between job before doing a Master’s program turned into ten years of unfulfillment. You learned much from Miguel. He forced you to learn how to become a business woman, to think like him. You were the brain that wasn’t attached to him. 

But you had to walk away.

You were thirty-two years old, with nothing to your name. You wanted to be something. You couldn’t be his assistant forever. As much as he was a pain, you enjoyed working with Miguel, but you could still enjoy his friendship without working with him.

“Do you think I should involve myself in a relationship again? It doesn’t look good for my image if I remain unattached.” Miguel broke you out of your thoughts.

“True, but if you remain single, less people to worry about. Personal relationships in your line of work is hardly ideal.” This constitutes as business talk, but you’ll let it slide. 

“You’re right, and this is why you’re my right hand.” Miguel knew that technically belonged to Marcus or even Nestor, but he never made a decision without your input. He was just used to it. 

“I wanted to speak to you about something.”

“Go for it.” Miguel gave his full attention to her. “Are you finally going to confess your undying love for me?”

You know she liked playful Miguel, but when he was being this obnoxious, she liked hardened, cartel boss Miguel.

“Right, should I stab you now or later?” You rolled your eyes making Miguel laugh. “I’m going to look for a new secretary.”

“Sure, you need help?” Miguel hardly argued with you. He trusted your judgment after all.

“No, I’m resigning.”

===========

“She has to be in love with me.” Miguel paced back and forth in his office, a few hours after your breakfast.

Nestor watched his boss and closest friend, amused by his suggestion.

“Y/N?” It’s not that Nestor couldn’t see you falling for Miguel, but, that wasn’t it. “You’ve said it yourself that she’s far too bright to remain your assistant forever.”

“That was just insanity talk, of course I expect her to stay by my side.” Miguel stopped in front of Nestor. “She quit right after she picked me up from Alejandra’s. She hated picking me up from there and she never got along with Emily.”

“All circumstantial. You know she cherishes her sleep, most likely the reason she was annoyed. Second, Emily was always a bitch to her.” Emily never liked you since she thought you undermined her with Miguel, which was far from the truth. Nestor witnessed a majority of your fights and it was hardly pretty. “All circumstantial.”

“No, she’s jealous. I know it. No matter, I can get rid of Alejandra.”

Nestor shook his head. He knew this day would come, you spoke to him about it quite often recently. But he didn’t think it would be too soon. He also knew Miguel wouldn’t handle it well. It was hard for him to trust anyone and the fact the person he trusted most was going to leave? 

Miguel was at the first stage, denial. 

===========

You drove up the driveway of Miguel’s home the next morning, Nestor greeting you by your car.

“You had to drop that bombshell and take the day off?” Nestor shook his head. He loved Miguel, he did, but yesterday was full of theories and bullshit he didn’t want to partake in.

“Well if you’re didn’t take the night off then I could have told him later that morning.” You retorted, glaring at your friend.

“You’re punishing me for taking a personal day?”

“I’m not punishing you, I didn’t think he was going to go overboard with the theories.” Nestor texted you every fucking thing that Miguel had said. It went from you having a secret family, secret boyfriend to being in love with him, which was what he settled with.

“To be fair, I said it was all circumstantial.”

“And it is.” You handed your purse to Nestor. “I’m posting the job later and see if we get any candidates that are,”

You paused. “We’ll see if we can find people that are trustworthy.” It wasn’t about skills. It wasn’t about degrees. It was about being trustworthy.

“How can you even determine that?”

“I have good intuition.”

“Right, forgot, you're psychic.” He teased her. 

“Fuck you,” you playfully pushed him.

Nestor opened the door for you and you walked in finding Marcus and Miguel sitting around in the living room.

“There she is,” Miguel greeted you, giving you a hug and kissing your cheek. “How are you?”

“Good,” you gave him an odd look. “You ready, we have a packed day today.”

All three men were looking at you and you gave them a questioning look.

“Am I missing something?” 

“I got you something.” Miguel smiled, taking your hand in his. He led you through the house to the garage and before entering he requested for you to close your eyes. “If you got me a car, I swear to god.”

“Wait, why, did you not want a new car?” Miguel frowned. Materialistic items usually appeased women, it definitely kept Emily’s temper at bay when it was directed at him. But he should know how you were by now. Materialistic items rarely impressed you. He found it odd that the little things he did for you was what left the most impression. He got you a rose gold bracelet for your birthday and while you were thankful, he could tell it didn’t impress you much. He brought you lunch from your favorite restaurant, and it was like he gave you the world. 

Why the fuck did he get you a damn car? 

“I’m not Emily, Miguel, you can’t just wave a shiny thing in front of me and I’ll change my mind.” You crossed your arms across your chest. “Did you get me a car?”

“No,” he closed the door. 

Nestor refrained from laughing while Marcus just chuckled.

“You already bought it, might as well let me see.” You nodded your head towards the door.

Miguel indulged you and opened the door. Your mouth dropped. “You got me a Range Rover?” It was your dream car, one that you were saving up for, and now you had it. But you weren’t staying. “As much as I want the car, it’s not going to work. I’ll be posting the job later on today.” You saw that Nestor closed the door as soon as you said that. 

“This is ridiculous, why do you want to quit? Am I not compensating you enough?” Miguel was frustrated. He didn’t want you to leave. How could you leave? He compensated you well. Always made sure you were well taken care of and to top it off, you were basically the closest confidant he had. He trusted you with his life, there was no way he could find anyone he trusted as much as you. 

“I told you, it’s for personal reasons.” You didn’t understand why you had to give him a reason. In any other job, personal reasons would suffice. 

But this was different.

You knew change was not something Miguel was a fan of, he was meticulous and hardly deviated from his normal. He had a schedule and strictly followed it. When the plans deviated, it greatly irritated him, but you always found a way to soften the blow so he wasn’t inconvenienced. 

“I think I warrant more than a generic answer.”

“Miguel, I’ve been your assistant for ten years now. It’s just time for me to move on professionally. I couldn’t possibly be your assistant forever.”

“Are you in love with me?”

He blurted it out so quickly that even he was surprised he did. Miguel hardly said anything without thinking of it, but you were an anomaly to him. He spoke before he thought of his words with you.

“No, absolutely not.” You laughed. “No offense, you’re a good looking guy, but I also know you, so no, I’m not interested.”

“Why not?” Miguel was slightly appalled by your rejection of the idea of being in love with him. Was he not worthy? He was a catch if he said so himself. 

“What? What do you mean why not? I’m not interested, simple as that.” You could tell your rejection affected Miguel. Not everyone fell to his feet, especially not you. “Look, now that we got that theory out of the way, want to try another? Why is it so hard to believe I just want a better career?”

“I can provide that for you.” 

“Miguel, what can I possibly do in your organization that would be a promotion? I swear to god, if you say executive assistant.”

“Come on querida, give me more credit than that.” Miguel chuckled. “You can handle the developmental projects around Santo Padre. You could be my development manager.”

“No, absolutely not, I would have to work with Emily. She already thinks we're sleeping together, the last thing I want to do is deal with Emily.” 

“Y/N, come on, I’m sure I can find something in my organization that can fulfill this desire you have.” Miguel was not comfortable with the thought of losing you. He wasn’t willing to accept it.

“Miguel, we have to move on some time, you’ll be fine. I will find the most eligible candidate for this job. I promise.” You gave him a hug. 

You needed to do this. You couldn’t stay in this job forever, you had to move on.

“Hand them over.”

“What?”

You stuck your hand out. “You got me the car, it would be rude to not take it.”

===========

“She’s in love with me, it's the only logical reason.” Miguel was sitting down on the couch by the pool, nursing the whiskey in his hand.

“Did she not say she wasn’t?” Nestor wasn’t sure why they were talking about this again when Miguel already spoke to you. 

“She’s hiding it.”

“Look, I’m going to ask this at the risk of being killed by you, but out of pure curiosity, are you hoping she’s in love with you so you can confess some deep secret you’ve kept from her?” 

“No, absolutely not, I’m not interested in her, but if it keeps her by my side, I can be with her.”

Nestor gave Miguel an incredulous look, chuckling at his friend’s terrible idea. Though, he couldn’t help, but play Devil’s Advocate.

“You know what, you should pursue her.”

“Now you see what I’m seeing. She wouldn’t be able to say no to me. I know her like the back of my palm.” 

Nestor had to refrain from chuckling. This was going to be a fun two weeks. 

#miguel galindo #miguel galindo fanfiction #miguel galindo imagine #mayans mc imagine #mayans mc fic #mayans mc fanfic

[pyrobane-fandom-space]

Significant Strides in Relations

Author: Merlyn Bane

Word Count: 10.3K (shut up, don't @ me okay)

Summary: Obi-Wan Kenobi manages to catch the attention of his attache on a diplomatic mission.

Warnings: Adult Content™. Strong language, smut. Virgin!Obi I guess. Unprotected sex--wrap it up!

A/N: Did I come back from the dead just to post some completely self-indulgent bullshit? Yes I did. This is like 3.7K worth of smut with like 5K worth of justification and like 1K of Skywalker bullshit at the end and I'm not sorry about any of it. I would also just like to blame @no-droids and their Open Door series for giving me a Thing for Obi-Wan in the first place.

(gif found on google, not mine)

You want to fuck the Jedi.

And, yeah, sure, you feel a little bit bad about it. You know enough about the Order to know that that's something the Jedi don't do--if the poor man knew the direction your thoughts had taken, he'd probably be scandalized. You can clearly imagine his face turning, just, scarlet, especially because you do mean fuck. 

Obi-Wan Kenobi is visiting your planet on a diplomatic mission that you haven't been briefed on the particulars of, and you've been assigned to him as an attaché during his stay--tending to his needs, making sure he's comfortable while he's here. It's a function you've performed many, many times as part of your duties to the royal family, but Kenobi has been...particularly pleasant, to work with. The Jedi is kind, treats you like an equal even though you're technically working for him for the time being, and he's funny. You hadn't realized the Jedi were allowed a sense of humor, but Maker, this one is sarcastic, constantly teasing with a playful glint in his blue eyes that is...not helping you with the whole 'wanting to irredeemably corrupt him' problem that you're currently having. 

You show up at his quarters just before breakfast to collect him as you have for the last two days and he's already there waiting for you, opening the door just as you're coming to a stop in front of it.  Kenobi gives you a gracious smile as he steps into the hallway with you, letting the door slide closed behind him, and you return it before turning to start making your way to the dining hall. He falls in step next to you and despite the fact that he really isn't walking that close to you, you swear you can feel him there. "Good morning, young one." 

You snort softly, scrunching your nose up as you give him an unimpressed side-eye. "Young one? You realize I'm within five years of you? I think you spend too much time with your old padawan and not enough with your peers, Kenobi."

The Jedi chuckles next to you, looking suitably sheepish as he grins over at you. "My apologies, my lady," he says, and you can tell that he's teasing you lightly. You roll your eyes but don't correct him--no, instead you internalize it, and his innocent my lady gets cataloged away with the rest of the impure thoughts that have been plaguing you since you saw him in the great hall upon his arrival. "I meant no offense."

"None was taken."

The conversation sort of just...drifts off, and you take the time to study his features out of the corner of your eye while he's looking ahead. The Jedi is...handsome, and frankly you think it's very unfair of the Order to lock all of that up under a chastity vow. The lines of his face are classical, look like they could have been carved from marble--only accentuated by the scruff of the beard lining a jaw you kind of want to sink your teeth into. 

And, Maker. His eyes. The clearest crystal blue, like twin glaciers, piercing directly into your soul every time you meet them but...gentle. Always gentle. You know he's as talented a warrior as he is a negotiator, you've heard the stories, but you would never know it from his pretty eyes. 

"What are your plans for the day, Master Kenobi? Since there won't be any official matters taking place today." It's the third day of the week, and on your planet it is considered inappropriate to do such work then. Most of your people will be in services today, to include the royal family. You probably should be, but you had offered to stay behind and continue to assist the Jedi--you've never cared for such things, anyway, and you certainly think he makes for better company.

Kenobi turns his head just enough to give you a small smile before he looks forward again, humming softly as he considers his answer. "I will likely confer with the Council this afternoon, update them on how the negotiations are going. Perhaps I will take some time to meditate, as well. You may have most of the day to yourself." It's quiet for a moment, then: "And you may just call me Obi-Wan, if you wish."

Obi-Wan, Obi-Wan, Obi-Wan--

It does not escape your attention that this isn't an offer that was even extended to your employers, who he's supposed to be here on the sole purpose of brokering an agreement with. They've still been using titles with each other, you know they have. Fuck. "Obi-Wan," you repeat, hoping that it escapes his notice how much you find that you like the way it feels on your tongue. Obi-Wan. "If you find you have the time, later, maybe I could show you around a little more. There are some places on the palace grounds I think you might enjoy."

The Jedi hums again, and you can see that he's still smiling when you look over at him. "I will certainly keep that in mind."

You reach the dining hall only a few minutes later, and go your separate ways once you've gotten your food. You find a seat at one of the far tables tucked into a corner that's already populated by a couple of your fellow staff members, making sure to sit so that you're facing him so he can get your attention if he needs it. You're being elbowed almost the second your ass hits the seat, the girl to your left clearly desperate for whatever gossip she thinks you have as she leans in and whispers at you in hushed tones. 

"Maker, you've got a dreamy one. You're so lucky, I was assigned to--"

You're not even listening, not really--tuning her out while you tuck into your breakfast. You suppose you don't have any real right to be so annoyed with her, truthfully, given that you've been having similar thoughts about him yourself all morning and for most of the last couple of days, but you find that you are anyway. The girl doesn't even seem to realize that you're ignoring her, continuing to chatter at you until one of the other people at your table manages to redirect her attention, if not the subject. 

 You tell yourself that the reason your attention stays focused on the Jedi is in case he needs you for anything but you're not very convincing, even to yourself. Your mind wanders while you eat, formulating scenarios that all seem to end with Obi-Wan between your thighs. Most of these thoughts are generally nonsensical, idle flashes and half-strung together images, but some of them come through with alarming clarity. 

I want to suck his cock.

The Jedi suddenly chokes on whatever it is he's just eaten. 

You instinctively shift to stand up to try and help him but his companion is already there, smacking his back with more force than you think is probably necessary and laughing loudly enough that you can hear him from your table. Skywalker, you think his name is. He's still chuckling when they settle back down, despite the thoroughly unamused looks Obi-Wan is shooting him. You snort quietly to yourself and Skywalker turns his head to look at you like he can sense your eyes on them. Your eyes meet for a second, two, and then to your horror he winks at you.

Your stomach sinks. No. No, no. No. He's just winking at you because he caught you looking over at them, right? Jedi can't. Jedi can't read minds, right? Surely not. The younger Jedi raises an eyebrow at you, the edge of his lip curving into what can only be called a smirk, and you really. Just need the ground to open up and swallow you whole right here. Maker. You're going to have to work with Obi-Wan for the next couple of days--how the fuck are you supposed to look him in the eyes, now, knowing that he's heard you this entire time? 

 Breakfast passes both entirely too quickly and not near quickly enough, and before you know it, both Jedi are getting to their feet. You curse quietly under your breath and stand yourself, disposing of your tray before you manage to make yourself walk back over to join them. You still have a job to do, regardless of whether or not you want to dig yourself a nice deep hole to die in right now. You do your best to force a smile once you reach them, really trying your absolute hardest to pretend that none of...that, had just happened. Like you haven't been caught lusting over Obi-Wan fucking Kenobi by the man himself. 

Skywalker is the first to speak, that Maker-forsaken grin still plastered firmly in place on his face when he does. "Hello,"

You think he's having entirely too much fucking fun with this, frankly. 

Obi-Wan seems to agree with you, if the look he gives his companion then is anything to go by. You swallow, doing your best to reign in your composure as you raise a hand to wave at him in response before turning back to the man you're supposed to be assisting. "Are you--" you pause, clearing your throat before continuing. "Are you ready to return to your rooms?"

Maker. Maker. Why did you have to say--

"Quite," Obi-Wan answers before you can stutter out an apology, giving Skywalker what can only be described as a warning look before he turns back to follow you. Your gaze stays all but permanently affixed to the floor as you start making your way down the hall, the only thing indicating that he's still beside you the sound of his boots on the tile. 

You can feel his eyes on you when you reach his door but you still can't bring yourself to meet them, clearing your throat awkwardly and folding your hands behind your back in a bid to stop yourself from picking at your thumbnail from the nervous energy that's suddenly coursing through your body. "I. I hope you have a pleasant rest of your day," you manage to stutter out, taking your leave before he can say anything to stop you.

You end up having a couple of hours to yourself to stew in the privacy of your own room before anyone comes for you. 

You groan quietly when you hear the knock at your door but haul yourself to your feet and make your way over anyway, pushing your hair out of your face. You frown minutely when you find one of your coworkers standing there. Kaljova--she's assigned to Skywalker, if you recall correctly. She seems vaguely concerned with the state you're in but is kind enough not to comment on it, giving you a polite smile instead. "Master Kenobi has asked for you," Kaljova tells you, and has the grace to pretend to not notice the way your face falls with it. 

"Do you know what he needs?" you ask her, blessedly managing to keep your voice even. You reach down to grab your cloak from the table by your door and tie it around your shoulders without waiting for her to actually answer, stepping out into the hallway and letting your door close behind you. 

She shakes her head, shrugging a little bit. "Master Skywalker didn't say, I'm sorry."

You shake your head, sighing softly but giving her a small, reassuring smile. "It's okay. Thank you for letting me know."

She returns your smile and nods once before she turns around and leaves you to your own devices again. You groan quietly, pinching the bridge of your nose as you work up the nerve to actually make your way to the visiting diplomat wing where you know he's waiting for you. It takes you a couple of minutes but you do manage to make your feet move eventually and they carry you there far faster than you'd have liked them to. 

You swallow harshly and close your eyes for a second before reaching up to knock on his door, bracing yourself. Maker, he probably wants to talk about it, clear the air or whatever, and you are just...absolutely not even a little bit equipped to deal with that right now, frankly. You're able to school your features as the door slides open but just barely, and you stop breathing altogether when you look up and meet those pretty blue eyes. 

And he seems...surprised to see you. 

That kriffing--

"You...didn't send for me, did you?"

Obi-Wan shakes his head, looking more confused if possible, and you just sigh quietly, giving him an apologetic smile. "I'm sorry, I think there was a...miscommunication." And I'm going to kill your fucking padawan. "I'll just--I'll just go." You raise a hand in a very awkward not-wave and turn on your heel to go, but then.

The Jedi gently grabs you by the elbow, and everything stops for a moment. 

Goddammit.

"Wait," Obi-Wan says, softly--like he's trying not to spook you. You take a deep, stuttering breath, and sigh it out, relaxing where you stand as you give up on getting out of this. "I believe...it would be a good idea, if we talked."

Yeah, that's. That's pretty much what you figured, unfortunately. 

"I'm very sorry, if I made you uncomfortable, I...I didn't know you could--" Didn't know you could hear me. 

"I know," he tells you, just as gently as before, and you reluctantly turn just enough to be able to face him. His eyes are soft when they regard you, and you find your breathing evening out despite yourself--wondering idly how much of it is actively his doing. "Just...come inside. Please."

You can't find it in yourself to deny him so you nod, letting him lead you into the room and trying to pretend that you can't feel your heart stop when the door slides shut behind you. Obi-Wan seems to notice you not knowing what to do with yourself because he gestures to one of the chairs in the sitting area, sitting down in the one opposite it once you're settled. It's quiet for a moment as both of you seem to search for the right words. 

"I would like to begin by apologizing for Anakin," he says finally, and you snort as the words register.  He gives you a wry smile in return, and continues. "He means well, but he can be...thoughtless, in his humor, at times. Particularly when it is at my expense."

"He sounds like he must have been a joy to train."

That earns you an almost startled sounding laugh out of the Jedi, which manages to get a real smile out of you. "I fear he may have also misled you, to an extent." He tells you, not quite meeting your eyes now as he scratches at his beard. You give him a questioning look and he sighs softly, leaning back in his chair. "We...can hear thoughts, but only if we go looking and it is considered very inappropriate to do so without reason."

You feel your eyebrows knit together in confusion, then, and you tilt your head at him. "But you…?"

Obi-Wan winces, and nods. "You may have...projected, this morning, inadvertently. It was...rather loud, and my guards were not as firmly in place as they probably should have been."

Oh. So you'd shouted it at him, then. Great. "Oh."

"I had...gotten a sense of the direction of your thoughts, before that, but you were acting very professionally so thought it best to pay it no mind."

That's...very kind of him, actually, to have simply ignored it even though it must have made him uncomfortable, especially when he so easily could have just told you to knock it off or requested a different attache. You clear your throat, finding yourself picking at your thumbnail again. "I appreciate that."

"You needn't be embarrassed, you know." the Jedi murmurs softly, and you look up to meet his gaze despite yourself. He smiles at you a little bit, then, and it brings something very warm into those blue eyes of his that almost makes you just a little lightheaded. "These things happen. You're only human, you can't be expected to have complete control of your thoughts all the time."

"You do," you point out, just because you feel the need to. "Jedi do. So I'm told."

"We spend our whole lives learning to try." he amends, and there's something so human in the way that he grins that suddenly, all you want to do is lean over and kiss him. "It is a constant exercise, not a skill that can be mastered."

"Still. I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable this week."

"Uncomfortable might not be the right word for it, speaking truthfully," Obi-Wan admits, so quietly that you're almost not even sure he's really said it at all. And--Maker, is he implying what it sounds like he's implying? You know your eyes must be just about bugging out of your head with the shock but he mercifully either doesn't notice or pretends not to, scratching at his beard again as he seems to consider his next words, and you...really need him to stop doing that. It's becoming hard enough to maintain your focus as it is. "There were times where I was perhaps...tempted."

You stare at him, blankly, blinking slowly as the words process. Tempted tempted tempted-- "I thought Jedi couldn't…"

Obi-Wan clears his throat, and suddenly he's the one looking unsettled. "Technically, the Code prohibits intimacy, attachment. It...says nothing about the act itself."

Oh. Oh.  

You're still staring at him, just completely dumbstruck, so the Jedi seems to decide to take it upon himself to continue talking and fill the space. "For most of us it ends with the same result, functionally, but. Technically." 

Maker, get it together. You feel like you're on a several second delay, having great difficulty processing this new information, let alone giving him the verbal response to it that he's clearly waiting for, now. "Have you--"

"Almost. Once. When I was a padawan myself. My master and I were stationed on Mandalore at the time, assigned to protect the Duchess." 

You're grinning, now, you can feel it tugging at the edges of your mouth. Maker, you suddenly need to know this story like you need to breathe. "What happened?"

Stars, you swear you can see the tips of his ears turn red. "Qui-Gon caught us. It has...certainly dissuaded me from making any attempts since."

You laugh. You can't help it. Suddenly you're laughing so hard it nearly hurts, grasping your middle with one hand while wiping tears from your eyes with the other. You would feel worse about it if Obi-Wan didn't look so amused himself. "Oh, you poor thing." you snort before your brain can catch up with your mouth, and you feel your own face heat when you realize the implication of what you've just said to him. Way to go, Ace. 

Except...he's still grinning at you, amusement dancing in those blue eyes, and all the air seems to rush out of the room when they lock on your own. Kriff. "Are you suggesting that I'm missing out, then?"

He's teasing you, the bastard, and all of sudden it makes you feel bold. You lean forward in your chair, then, resting your elbows on your knees as you encroach on his space and pull your lower lip between your teeth.. "I'm not suggesting anything, Master Kenobi," you all but purr at him, "but should you be interested in finding out for yourself…"

The offer hangs in the air between you, then, like a lit fuse while you just stare at each other, both waiting to see if the other will make the next move.  

"And what might this...demonstration...entail?"

"Nothing you aren't completely on board with," you tell him immediately, because if this happens--Maker, if--it is absolutely imperative to you that he enjoys himself just as much as you do. Which...gives you an idea, actually. "I make sure my partners have a good time. Haven't done my job if they don't."

Fuck, the Jedi's eyes are blown. His pupils have nearly overtaken those pretty blue irises and it makes your breath catch with how much you want to ruin him. You can feel the tension rising in the room between you, feeding on and feeding into your arousal in a vicious cycle. He swallows, and you watch his Adam's apple bob with it and narrowly resist the urge to bite him. "Oh?"

Kriff, you need to leave before you fuck him right here and ruin your plans. You give him a small, soft smile and stand, padding over to him. His eyes track each movement, his head tilting back to gaze up at you when you come to stand between his knees, and you can see how ragged his breathing's gone at the sudden proximity. You reach out and let your palm wrap around the line of his jaw, your fingernails scratching lightly through the coarse hairs of his beard, and the Jedi's eyes fall closed before you even lean in. He gasps when your mouth brushes against his own, the faintest whisper of a kiss, and your smile widens. "I think, that you deserve to be seduced properly, Obi-Wan," you breathe. "I'm not going to fuck you, Baby, not just yet. When you really want it--then I'll give it to you."

 It takes several seconds before he's able to get words out again, and when he does you can barely hear what he's saying from the rasp in them. "I think, my lady," he pants, "that you are being exceedingly cruel."

You chuckle softly, letting your thumb brush across his lower lip before you straighten up and take a step back, ignoring the almost whine that escapes his throat when you do. "Perhaps."

For the rest of the evening, you act as normal--as if none of the events of the day had taken place. You meet with Obi-Wan and escort him to the dining hall for dinner as usual and go your separate ways once your trays are piled high. You do your best to resist the urge to glare daggers at the other Jedi, particularly when he grins and waves at you, but you are able to content yourself with the sharp look Obi-Wan gives him for it as he sits down. Dinner is uneventful despite Skywalker's best efforts, and passes quickly. You give Obi-Wan this time to...come down, essentially, to gather his wits back about him before you really set your plans into motion in the morning. You had left the Jedi absolutely wrecked this afternoon, and not only do you think it would be just a little unfair to begin your seduction in such a state, you're a little concerned that you might actually kill him if you overwhelm him so much all at once. So, you give him time to breathe. 

Or at least, that is your intent. 

The sudden drop almost seems to have the opposite effect. Obi-Wan's composure is, outwardly, as impeccable as always. No-one but you and Skywalker--you're sure--would be able to tell that anything's up. The only reason you do is because you still can't take your eyes off him so you notice the way his haven't left you, either. And, Maker, the way he looks at you. You almost want to give in, drag him back to his rooms now, but. You meant it earlier, when you said you thought he deserved better than that. The concept of virginity as a special thing is not one you've ever particularly put much stock in, yourself, but you know that this is, will be, a big deal for him whether he's willing to admit it or not. You want to give him at least this much. He might not be allowed true intimacy or emotional attachment, but that doesn't mean the sex has to be careless. You meant it, when you told him that you take care of your partners.  

The next day, you start slow. Obi-Wan is actually fairly busy with the diplomatic mission he'd been sent here on in the first place, which makes that relatively simple. The only time you really get with him that morning is when you're escorting him to and from meetings, so you spend that time finding excuses to touch him. Subtle things, like adjusting already-straight the collar of his robes. 

"Good morning, Obi-Wan," 

The Jedi steps out into the hall with you and lets the door close behind him, returning your greeting with an easy grin that makes your heart skip a beat. "Good morning. Where are we off too?"

"You have a meeting with the Chancellor, first. It'll be long and likely boring assuming Skywalker behaves himself, but productive." You give him a soft smile, stepping forward and looking up at him from under your lashes. He watches you intently, almost seeming to stop breathing for a second when you reach up and adjust the tan collar of his robes, your fingertips brushing lightly against the skin of his throat when you do. You let the moment linger a second longer than it needs to before you step back to a respectful distance and nod down the hallway. "Shall we?"

Brushing his hair out of his face when it's fallen into his eyes.

Obi-Wan looks about as tired as you expect him to when he comes out of his meeting a couple of hours later but he has a small smile for you when he sees you waiting for him in the hallway anyway. Skywalker follows him through the door seconds later but barely pays either of you any mind, grumbling something about breakfast as he follows Kaljova down the hall. The two of you stand there for another moment, glancing at each other and chuckling at the younger Jedi's irritation, and you notice idly that some of his blond hair's managed to fall out of place. You reach up to brush it back out of his eyes and bite your lip when they zero in on your own, and you find yourself leaning in further before you can stop yourself only for you to jump apart when the door slides open again. The Chancellor gives you both a polite nod as he takes his leave, completely unaware of what he'd interrupted, and you have to shake your head to clear it once he's out of sight. You can still feel the Jedi's eyes on you when you turn to make your way to the dining hall.

It continues this way, more or less, until lunch, when you decide to kick it up a notch going into the afternoon. You remember what he told you about being able to pick up on your feelings, at least in a general sense, whether he went looking for them or not so you decide to lean into that and let your mind run wild with the things you want to do to him. You're careful not to project any particulars at him this time but you can tell that he definitely takes notice when you start letting your thoughts wander. 

You're still sitting in the dining hall at your separate tables, and you smirk lightly when his eyes snap up, watching them narrow when he realizes what you're doing. You maintain that eye contact shamelessly, pulling your lower lip between your teeth as you try to imagine what's waiting for you underneath those robes. Skywalker's glancing back and forth between you and grinning but Obi-Wan ignores him completely, raising an eyebrow in your direction that you merely shrug at. You see him shift slightly in his seat after a little while of this and decide to lay off a bit--for now, at least. 

Obi-Wan has to consult with the Jedi Council after lunch so you decide to have some mercy on him immediately leading up to that and take a break from your little game. You're sure he's still aware of the arousal boiling low in your belly while you walk him back to his rooms after lunch but you're not actively focusing on it now, letting yourself relax and the Jedi by extension. 

It's during dinner that evening that you really kick it into high gear. 

You're not even fully sure this is going to work, since you've only ever done it once and by accident, but watching Obi-Wan converse with Skywalker at their table, you know you want to try. So you focus your attention on the Jedi, and hone in on the thought of what you think it might be like to kiss him until you see him stiffen and you know he's got it. You keep going, feeding him different images that only grow more explicit as you grow bolder. Sucking and biting bruises into the skin of his throat and chest while you grind down against his cock. Looking right into his pretty blue eyes while you stroke that cock, watching him come apart when you finally take it into your mouth like you've wanted to do practically since you laid eyes on him. Riding him, burying your hands in his hair and swallowing his moans while you bounce in his lap. 

Obi-Wan grits his teeth across the dining hall, gripping the edge of the table he's sitting at tightly and pointedly not looking at you while he tries to regain control of his breathing. Skywalker is staring at you, wide-eyed and slack-jawed in total shock, and you only smirk back at him in response as you let the projection drop. You didn't necessarily want the other Jedi to see those things, truthfully, but you don't know how to control the projection well enough to block him out and he's been enough of a dick about the whole thing this week that you really don't feel all that badly about the fact that he looks like he kind of wants to bleach his brain, now. 

You simply go back to your meal once you've dropped the projection, though you can't help the small grin that stays plastered on your face. The next few minutes pass that way, but then.

But then.

Well, projection goes both ways.

It feels sort of like a tickle, at first, at the edge of your mind--easily ignored. Then it turns into a gentle prodding, and when you look up to confirm your suspicions, his blue eyes are locked firmly on yours and it takes your breath away. He's...being remarkably gentle with you, knowing that no-one's ever been in your head before like this, waiting for you to relax and let him in in a complete roll reversal that shocks you. You barely manage to contain the gasp when you do, because he's suddenly pushing images back at you. Obi-Wan thinks back to how your fingers had felt in his hair this morning, and then reimagines that feeling with you in his lap, tangled in his hair while you kiss him. Then, fuck. With his head between your thighs. He stops and focuses in on this one, imagining as many details as he can manage as he pushes it to you. Your hands pulling on the blond strands while his grip your thighs, holding you open as his tongue laves through the folds of your cunt. 

The moment feels like a tipping point, and both of you know exactly what is going to happen once this meal is over. 

You're so pent up and aroused when it's finally time to leave that you're lightheaded with it but somehow you manage to get to your feet anyway, and thankfully you don't end up having to deal with Skywalker at all because Obi-Wan is out of his seat first this time and meets you halfway. There's something in the air between you, something tense and charged, and you know you need to get him back to his rooms now. He seems to be on the same page because he wastes no time in following you out of the dining hall, and his strides are longer enough than usual that you actually struggle just a little bit to keep up. 

And there's something so…juvenile about this, rushing off and sneaking around, but it's...fun. You feel almost like a teenager again, truthfully, so eager to get him alone somewhere private so you can get your hands on him that you're all but running down the hallway to get there. 

You're on the Jedi the moment the door closes behind you but he's right there with you, pulling you in for a kiss that's all enthusiasm and little finesse but heats your blood anyway. Your fingers tangle in his hair as you tug him closer and he moans with it, his own hands finding your face and framing it gently. You run the tip of your tongue along his lower lip and press forward when his mouth opens into it on a gasp, licking into his mouth until he has to pull away to breathe. 

Maker, he already looks a mess; beautifully flushed with his hair all askew and his pupils blown wide. It makes you want to do, just, unspeakable things, but you know you still have to take your time and ease him into it or this will all be over too fast and you can't have that.  

"Go...go sit on the bed," you murmur, putting a hand on his chest as you step back and take a second to try and get your wits back about you. "Take your boots off. And your cloak."

And, Kriff, he does it immediately, nodding at you with that just fucking wrecked look in his eyes before he turns to do exactly what you told him, laying his cloak over the back of one of the chairs and padding over to the bed where he sits on the edge before leaning over to take his boots off. You watch him the whole time, almost high on the heady feeling that comes with this hyper-competent Jedi Master doing whatever you tell him to. 

You take your time in joining him, partially to tease and partially just because you need those extra few moments. His eyes track every movement as you remove your own cloak, laying it next to his as you toe your shoes off, and you give him a small smile as you make your way over to the bed. Obi-Wan's breath hitches when you climb up onto it and seems to stop altogether when you carefully settle yourself on his lap, his hands fisting at his sides until you reach down to take them gently and guide them to your waist. "You can touch me," you purr, running your nose along the line of his jaw and grinning to yourself when his grip suddenly tightens with it. "It's encouraged, in fact."

He snorts quietly, so breathily that you almost miss it, and starts rubbing circles into your sides with his thumbs. "Noted," he rasps, and you grin wider before you press a kiss just under his jaw. The Jedi shivers with it and the reaction emboldens you so you continue downward, pressing kisses along his skin until you reach the collar of his robe and then you're working at the belt of his robes, eager to get at more of his skin. Obi-Wan seems to still have enough presence of mind to help you, shrugging out of the first two layers once you're able to get them open and discarding them to the side carelessly. You reluctantly have to pull back so you can yank his undershirt over his head but then his whole torso is exposed for your viewing pleasure, so you decide you're alright with the short interruption. 

"See something you like?" Obi-Wan quips breathlessly after a few seconds of you shamelessly studying every line and pane of his chest and you only smirk at him an answer, leaning back in his lap to get a better view and darting your tongue out to wet your lower lip. 

"What are the odds of anyone seeing you without the robes?"

His eyebrows knit together momentarily like he doesn't know what you're asking, but he seems to put the pieces together when you suddenly duck back down and lick a broad stripe along the line of his collarbone. His hips jerk up with a broken moan before he's able to manage an answer, his head tilting back and further exposing his throat. "Un-unlikely," he gasps out, and you're grinning again as you start pressing hot, open-mouthed kisses lower until you find a spot on his pec that pleases you and you stop and suck. The Jedi gasps raggedly, his fingers digging into your waist as he tries to ground himself, but you don't stop until you know a bruise will bloom there. "Something to remember you by?" he hisses, and you chuckle softly as you trace the round little blemish with the tip of your finger. 

"Oh, Baby, I don't think you're going to have any difficulty with that with or without a few little...reminders." 

Obi-Wan moans again, low in his throat, when you start pressing a trail of hot, open-mouthed kisses down his chest, gasping out and trembling the first time you let him feel teeth. His hips buck again and then it's your turn to gasp when his cock rubs right up against your cunt--already so, so hard. And, Maker, it is not a small bulge. What's he hiding under all of those neutral fabrics? You leave a meandering line of bites and hickeys all the way down his chest, ignoring the way he whines when you shift back off of his lap so you can continue down to his stomach. He leans back on his palms, then, watching you intently with dark eyes that make your pussy clench between your thighs, and his breath catches in his throat when your hands find the ties of his trousers. "What are you--"

"Told you I wanted to suck your cock," you remind him, biting your lip as you start undoing them--slowly enough to give him ample opportunity to stop you if he wants. "That alright with you?"

The Jedi nods mutely, suddenly seeming at a loss for words, and you smirk as you sit back on your knees and start pulling them down his thighs until he springs free, and--

Kriff--how fucking dare the Order deprive the galaxy of this magnificent cock? 

He's not the longest you've ever seen, per se, but he's thick enough that you almost wonder how you're going to take this thing and beautifully flushed, with defined veins that you just know are going to feel incredible inside you. You lean in to lick a stripe right up the underside of it before you can stop yourself and Obi-Wan cries out at the sudden stimulation and shakes, falling backwards onto his back. You moan softly at the response you pull out of him and lean up until you're able to take the head into your mouth, watching as he squeezes his eyes shut and grips the bedspread until his knuckles go white and unravels. "Watch me," you tell him, taking him in your palm and pumping slowly while you wait for him to respond, "Wanna see those pretty blue eyes."

He forces them open just like you told him to, keeping them trained on you as he bites down on his lower lip and takes a shaky breath and you take him into your mouth again, satisfied. He cries out again but a little quieter this time, and you hum around his cock as you start bobbing up and down on it slowly, almost teasingly so, holding his hips down as best you can so you control the pace. You definitely want to feel him come down the back of your throat at some point, but this isn't the time for that. You have every intent of him coming buried deep inside you tonight. 

It becomes something of a game, figuring out exactly what he likes. Hollowing your cheeks to make your mouth tighter around him and moaning until he gasps. Teasing the slit at the top with the very tip of your tongue until you swear you hear him curse. And then you take him to the root.

And, Maker, he swears when he bottoms out and it shouldn't be so insanely hot hearing those words come from this ordinarily so well put-together Jedi but it is. You realize how close he's approaching his end so you reluctantly pull off of his cock, then, ignoring the whine that escapes from high in his throat when you do so. You wipe your mouth with the back of your hand while you try and catch your breath, which is not made any easier by the way he's looking at you. You know you must look just as wrecked as he does, now, all flushed skin and swollen lips, but if you didn't know better you would genuinely think the man was about to eat you alive. "I think, my lady," he rasps finally, after several seconds of staring at each other, "that you may be slightly overdressed."

Kriff. You glance down at the tunic and trousers that you are, in fact, still wearing, before looking up to meet his eyes again. You maintain that eye contact as you sit back up on your knees, pulling your lower lip between your teeth as you slowly start undoing the laces holding the top closed. Obi-Wan watches each movement like it's the most mesmerizing thing he's ever seen, pupils blown so wide they've almost completely obscured the blue. He groans quietly when the tunic slips from your shoulders, his tongue darting out to wet his lower lip when your breasts come into full view. "Is that better?"

He shakes his head mutely, swallowing harshly as he seems to try to gather the words. "I want--may I--kriff, lay back. Please." His gaze follows you closely as you slowly lower yourself down onto your elbows, intensely curious what he's about to do. The Jedi takes a deep breath like he's steeling himself and then he's shifting forward until his body stretches over top of yours, kicking his trousers the rest of the way off in the process, and it's your turn to gasp when you feel his lips brush against the underside of your jaw. He's holding himself up enough that you can't necessarily feel him press against you, but Maker, you can certainly feel the heat coming off of him and his warm breath against your throat. "I believe it's my turn," he murmurs by way of explanation, chuckling softly when your next breath comes out ragged.

"You don't--you don't have to do that," you moan, and Stars--you mean it, you do, especially this first time, but you will be just absolutely fucking inconsolable if he changes his mind right now especially after he went and put the fucking image in your head during dinner earlier. 

He doesn't grace that with a verbal response but you're hardly complaining because he starts trailing kisses down the side of your neck instead, and Maker he must have been paying attention when you were doing this to him because you swear he's replicating the technique. "Tell me what you want," he murmurs lowly into the skin of your throat before nipping at it experimentally, listening to you gasp as he keeps talking. "Tell me how to please you, Darling."

His fingers find your nipple before you're able to even begin trying to formulate words and you cry out at the sudden stimulation, arching up into it. "F-Fuck, you're doing a pretty kriffing decent job already," you pant and he chuckles again, running his tongue along your collarbone like you'd done to him and moaning when he gets another ragged gasp for it. "Maker.  U-Use your m-mouth,"

You think for a second that he's going to make some smartass comment about how he already is, but mercifully Obi-Wan seems to know what you're asking him for and decides to be kind about it. He continues exploring your breasts with his hand while he returns his mouth to your throat, licking and sucking his way down the column of it until he reaches your sternum where he stops to suck a bruise into the skin. He gets you so worked up by the time he reaches your breasts that you almost don't realize how close he's gotten until those blue eyes are flickering up to meet yours and he's taking your nipple into the blazing hot cavern of his mouth. You open your mouth on a wordless shout and start to writhe under him but he's right there, both hands coming down to your hips to hold you in place as he laves his tongue around the stiffening peak. Obi-Wan focuses his attention on your breast until you're whimpering and then switches to the other, moaning around your nipple when your fingers tangle in his hair. 

"You like that, don't you?" you purr down at him, watching the Jedi through half-lidded eyes as he moans again in an affirmative. You pull, then, gently--experimentally, seeing if it's something he'll even like, and then he. Fucking bites you. "Fuck, Obi-Wan!" 

"About as much as you liked that," the asshole grins at you impishly as he pulls away from your breast, leaning in to kiss you before you can call him on it. His hands find the top of your trousers once you relax into it, and he leans back to look at you as his fingers dip into the waistband. "May I?"

He starts pulling them down as soon as you nod your consent, sitting back and watching as every inch of skin is revealed until he's removed them completely and he tosses them to the side with the rest of your clothes, leaving you totally bare in front of him. Obi-Wan just...sits there for a moment, taking you in, and you let him, relaxing back against the mattress and smiling up at him. 

"Beautiful," he breathes finally, returning your smile with a small one of his own before he's shifting down, keeping his eyes on yours as his lips brush against your hip. He reaches forward and runs one finger through the lips of your cunt lightly, almost teasingly, watching you gasp and try to grind down into it. "Would you like it if I tasted you here, Darling?" Obi-Wan hums, continuing to press kisses along your hip and the insides of your thighs while he waits for an answer and, Maker, the coarseness of his beard against the sensitive skin there robs you of all conscious thought. All you're able to manage is a nod because you're so strung out and you need him there right now but that seems to be enough for him because he starts leaning in, one hand on each of your thighs as he licks a broad stripe right through your cunt. 

Stars, you can't even form the words right now to talk him through this like he'd asked, but he...doesn't actually really seem to need your help, here. The Jedi focuses in on your clit right away, swirling his tongue around the little bud before he sucks it into the wet heat of his mouth and you nearly sob at how good it feels. "D-Doing so good, Baby," you manage to get out, and the words almost come out as more of a mewl as he hums around your clit, sending jolts right through you. 

You whine in protest when his mouth leaves your clit but his thumb replaces it soon after, rubbing slow circles around it like he's trying to drive you insane on purpose. And then, Maker, his tongue dips into your entrance, licking up inside you while all you can do is sob your pleasure into the air. He keeps going this way for several minutes, steadily working you higher and higher with his tongue buried in your cunt and his thumb strumming your clit until your thighs start to tremble and you feel that coil inside you start to wind tighter. Obi-Wan moans between your legs as when he realizes you're approaching your end and steps up his ministrations, his thumb picking up speed until your back arches underneath him. The orgasm burns its way through you, slow but intense, until you're nearly cross-eyed and delirious with it and he keeps working you through it until you're shaking with overstimulation and pushing his head away. 

The Jedi goes willingly when you push him back into a seated position once you've managed to regain your bearings, and Maker, he's a sight like this; his hair just hopelessly disheveled from your fingers in it and your slick coating his chin and kiss-swollen lips. You take a moment to just look at him, committing this image to memory for all of those nights after he leaves when you know you'll look back and picture this with your hand between your thighs. His hands find your hips as you crawl into his lap and settle there, squeezing gently and letting out a soft moan when you lean in to kiss him. Obi-Wan is the one that licks into your mouth this time, mimicking the way your tongue had tangled with his at the start of this until you're moaning into it. 

He gasps into the kiss when you reach down between you to take his cock in your hand, stroking it slowly while you shift in his lap and Stars, you swear the Jedi underneath you stops breathing entirely when you line him up and the head of his cock presses right up against your entrance. "Maker, please," he begs then on a broken moan, pulling out of the kiss to catch his breath but leaving his forehead pressed up against yours. He opens his eyes to hold your gaze intently as you start to sink down onto him, crying out at the fucking stretch of it. You take your time taking his cock, both for his benefit and your own, and the slow intrusion into your cunt has you shaking before he even bottoms out. 

"Fuck, you feel so f-fucking good," 

And it does. You have to take a minute to adjust once you've taken him to the root before you can move, gripping his shoulders tightly in an attempt to ground yourself, and his hands tighten on your hips in response. The Jedi looks like he might implode if you don't move so you take pity on him, sweeping him into another heated kiss as you roll your hips forward and swallowing his ragged gasp that escapes his throat. You keep the pace slow at first, steady, working yourself open and easing him into the motion and the way your pussy feels wrapped around his cock, and you manage to keep that pace for a few minutes until it becomes too much for both of you.

Obi-Wan's hips buck up at the same time your hips rock forward and you choke on a loud cry, throwing your head back when the head of his cock suddenly hits you right in the sweet spot. He seems to realize that you liked it because he does it again and again, his hands suddenly becoming vices around your hips as he starts thrusting up into you. You keep bouncing in his lap as best you can with his hold on you, meeting him thrust for thrust and Maker, nothing you'd imagined has anything on this. You bury your face in the side of his neck in a pitiful attempt to muffle the sounds that are leaving your throat, sucking and biting at the skin you find there and enjoying the moans you get out of him in return.  

You suddenly find yourself on your back with the Jedi above you, swallowing down the gasp that tears out of you as he claims your mouth in a searing kiss. Obi-Wan starts thrusting again immediately as he lets instinct take over, leaning forward on his elbow next to your head to give him better leverage. You nibble on his lower lip as you bring your legs up around his waist, gasping into his mouth when he fucking growls at the feel of your teeth and knotting your fingers in the strands of his hair again. His free hand comes up to cup the side of your face, holding you in place while he kisses the breath from your lungs. 

You're not going to last much longer, if the way your cunt is already starting to tighten around him is anything to go by. He shifts his hips just slightly, down and to the side, and you almost scream when he manages to find an angle that has the head of his cock hitting your sweet spot straight on at the same time as the warm skin of his torso brushes against your clit on each thrust in. Fuck, fuck, fuck, how did he get the hang of this so fast? He's going to kriffing kill you, if he keeps this up. "Stars, Obi," you sob out, "I'm gonna--"

The Jedi presses one last firm kiss to your mouth before he's pulling back to watch you fall apart, his hand leaving your face and moving down your body until he's stroking your aching clit with his thumb again, rubbing it in fast, small circles like he's learned you like it as he continues fucking into you like it's the last thing he'll ever do. "Right behind you, Darling," he grits out, his voice coming strained and wrecked and you know he means it. It only takes one, two, three more thrusts before you just fucking shatter, crying out into the air and trembling as the orgasm obliterates you. He follows not half a dozen thrusts later, burying his face in your neck and gasping as he fills you with everything he has, his hips still pumping lazily as he comes down. 

Eventually, the Jedi collapses down on the bed next to you, reaching over to brush some of the hair out of your face and giving you a dopey grin that's such a wild juxtaposition from his usual composure and his reputation that it makes you giggle, unable to help yourself. He raises an eyebrow at you playfully but it only makes you laugh harder, shaking your head. "Maker," you breathe, finally, because you can't seem to string together anything else. Obi-Wan chuckles next to you and reaches over to pull you back into his chest, burying his face in your hair while he tries to catch his own breath. "You are...a very quick study. Maker."

You can't see him grin, but you can hear it in his voice when he speaks again. "I'm glad you're pleased," he teases, and you only roll your eyes before letting yourself fully relax against him. Your eyes start to droop but you don't have the energy to fight to keep them open, and you end up falling asleep right there in his arms.

He lets you.

You wake up the next morning almost unbearably warm, and when you go to try and sit up, you find that you can't. You freeze as a half-baked realization suddenly comes over you, hesitantly cracking your eyes open.

Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck. Oh, kriff. 

You fell asleep here last night. In the Jedi's bed. With the Jedi. He, it turns out, is the reason that you can't move. Obi-Wan's got both arms wrapped tightly around your middle, holding you against his chest with his legs tangled up with yours, and Maker you would never have pegged this man for a cuddler but you couldn't be more wrong, apparently. It does, however, create quite an interesting problem for you.

This is his last morning here before he leaves to return to Coruscant. He and Skywalker are supposed to leave early, before even breakfast. Skywalker will, doubtlessly, be coming around to see what's what's holding his old master up, and soon--and you are still here. 

Where you are. Definitely. Not supposed to be.

You don't know how much time you have but you know that it isn't much. You have got to get out of here before Obi-Wan's pain in the ass prior padawan shows up, and the Jedi looks so peaceful like this that you kind of wish you could just let him sleep but you really don't want to just sneak out on him after last night. So you sigh, reaching up to shake his shoulder gently. "Obi-Wan. Obi-Wan, we have to get up."

It doesn't take much to wake him, thankfully, and he lets go of you to prop himself up on his elbow as he rubs the sleep out of his eyes. "What's wrong?" he asks, his voice still hoarse from sleep as he peers down at you, not quite as surprised to see you there as you'd have maybe expected him to be. 

You don't even get a chance to answer him because there's suddenly a knock on the door, and both of your eyes widen at it. Skywalker. "Obi-Wan?"

Fuck, fuck, fuck, where the fuck are your clothes? You're out of the bed before Obi-Wan even has a chance to stop you, frantically trying to find your clothes and put them on. You toss his trousers at his chest when you come across them and that seems to be what finally spurs him into motion, standing up so he can get them on as he calls back to the other Jedi. "What is it, Anakin?"

There's a moment of confused silence, then: "Cody's landing the transport now."

Obi-Wan opens his mouth like he's about to tell his old padawan that he'll be out momentarily, but doesn't get a chance to get the actual words out before you both hear the hiss of the door starting to slide open. Thank the Maker, you just manage to get your tunic back on before Skywalker comes into sight, and you do your best to try to look fucking normal as his eyes flicker between you but your heart fucking stops when you glance to the left of you and realize that Obi-Wan still isn't wearing a fucking shirt. His entire chest is exposed, which means that all of the marks you left scattered across it are also exposed. Fuck, fuck, fuck--

"I'll just. I'll just see you on the transport."

Skywalker is gone before either of you can react, the door sliding shut behind him. Your next breath leaves your lungs with enough force that it's almost a wheeze, and you have to bend over and put your hands on your knees for a second while you try to process what the fuck just happened. Obi-Wan blinks next to you, looking directly ahead for a second or two more before he suddenly starts chuckling, and you stare at him incredulously. "I'm sorry," he says finally, "That was just…"

You're laughing too, then, shaking your head as you step back over to him, ducking down to grab his shirt from where you can see it on the floor. You place the fabric in his hands and lean up on your toes to press a light kiss to his cheek, giving him a small smile. "Until next time, Master Kenobi?"

He gives you a small smile in return, and surprises you a little bit when he leans in himself and presses a soft kiss to your lips. "Until next time."

Mercifully, no-one questions him when Obi-Wan finally makes it to the transport. He intentionally doesn't look at Anakin even though he can feel the other man's eyes on him as he finds his seat and sits down, straightening his robes. He finds it difficult to keep the smile completely off his face so he just ducks his head instead in the guise of settling in for the flight and studiously ignores the way Anakin is still staring at him. 

"How was your trip, General?" Cody asks, leaning around in the pilot's seat to look back at him once they've left the planet's atmosphere. Obi-Wan opens his mouth to answer but Anakin's there first, suddenly grinning ear-to-ear in a way that makes him distinctly uncomfortable. 

"Oh, the General had a wonderful time." the younger man drawls, looking him right in the eyes as he does, and Obi-Wan wonders not for the first time if Qui-Gon died and left Anakin in his care as some inhumane form of punishment. "Made significant strides with relations and learned a lot, I'm sure."

"Oh, well, that's good, Sir." Cody responds, and Obi-Wan really dearly hopes he's as unaware of the insinuation as he sounds. Cody really does not need to know these things. Anakin does not need to know these things. "I'm glad your mission was productive."

Anakin opens his mouth like he's going to say something else but closes it abruptly and grins instead when Obi-Wan glares at him and shakes his head slowly in warning. "Thank you, Cody." Obi-Wan says instead, leaning back in his seat and letting his eyes close as he tries to relax. Maker, he can still feel the effects of the night before, his muscles are more sore than he would have expected and he finds that he's very aware of the bruises you'd left behind and it's...strangely pleasant. 

He's not allowed to have emotional attachments, but. He kind of does hope that he'll see you again one day anyway. Until next time, Master Kenobi. 

#obi-wan x reader #obi-wan kenobi x reader #Obi-Wan Kenobi #Obi-Wan #reader fic #reader insert #star wars #star wars fanfiction #star wars fic #star wars prequels #fic #fanfiction #merlyn posts

[angelic-serenade]

Alastor + disaster cook! S/O

headcanons

✧༝┉┉┉┉┉˚*❋ ❋ ❋*˚┉┉┉┉┉༝✧

gif, original work and characters do not belong to me

you could not cook to save your life

any attempt at cooking would result in certain failure in the best case scenario and 5.4 magnitude earthquake damage in the worst

sure, you could make edible pasta and if you really put your best efforts into it, acceptable omelette too

but anything past that level of complexity was simply out of your league, a lost cause to put it mildly

don't you even think about making a cake, that shit's dangerous

as they say: as above so below

when you landed in Hell and found yourself joining the Happy Hotel soon after, you came to find out your culinary skills had not magically improved

which is quite ironic since Charlie had made you head chef of the hotel

the string of curses which had left your lips upon hearing the news had been legendary, even for Hell

you adored the demon princess with your whole heart (or whatever was left of it anyway), bUT REALLY CHARLIE? YOU DO NOT GIVE A GUN TO A CHILD AND EXPECT CASUALTIES NOT TO HAPPEN

at this point you were certain she was subconsciously auto-sabotaging

either way, you didn't have the heart to tell her no, so you decided to put your heart and soul into trying to learn how to properly cook, which didn't turn out to be the ideal choice of words since you were in Hell and your soul was probably rotten to the core

at least, nobody could say you hadn't tried your damn best

and hey! some days your cooking hadn't even been completely sickening

you decided to stick to easy, “safe” dishes though, you know, just to be sure

so pasta and eggs were definitely a thing

a constant and repetitive thing to be precise

you were trying your best, okay? nobody in your place with your limited set of skills would have taken the job, but you did and you deserved recognition for that feat alone

or a fucking donkey hat for your skyrocketing dumbness levels

things were not so bad at first

both Charlie and Vaggie were very supportive, each one of them in their own way - even though you had totally seen Charlie trying to swallow pure unadulterated fear that one time you had announced you wanted to try to cook something more elaborate

Angel Dust on the other hand... hadn't been as considerate as to lie to your face about what he thought of your cooking

"fuck me doll, this shit's disgusting"

*insert the I don't have friends they disappoint me vine here*

Vaggie had proceeded to give Angel quite the earful while Charlie tried her best to cheer you up

you went full hermit mode on them for two days after that

you were proud of yourself, handling criticism so well

anyway, the cycle kept repeating, with the only difference that most days Angel would grab something to eat outside of the hotel and join you during meals only to blankly stare at the plates and silvery

Charlie had tried to shield you from the truth, but you weren't that stupid

you respected Angel's choice, really, you did, and you had decided to be the bigger person among the two

that's why you began to put a lil bit of laxative into his portions whenever he decided to grace your efforts and actually eat your "disgusting cooking"

y’know just to spicy things up a little

at least now he had a valid reason to complain

with the whole fiasco on live TV and the sudden and suspicious appearence of the one and only Radio Demon at your doorstep, however, things started going haywire

Alastor's presence was eeirly demanding and unsettlingly charmimg at the same time

so it was only natural for you to gravitate the fuck away from him whenever you could

you always acted politely, greeting him whenever you bumped into him through the corridors of the hotel, but you only went as far as to appear courteous because you didn't want for him to go Hannibal Lecter on you. thanks, no thanks

“and what can you do my feminine fellow?”

“I can suck your dick!”

you had snorted a bit at that which immediately shifted the strawberry pimp's attention to yourself

“and what about you, pretty dame? I take it you're in charge of the kitchens around here?”

dressed in your chef attire, you were going to meekly answer him, but before you could, roaring laughter erupted in the room. it belonged to the one and only slutty spider you found oh so irritating

in the fraction of seconds, Alastor snapped his neck at an unnatural angle to stare at the spider with a strained smile on his face

needless to say, the cursed image would forever haunt your traumatized psyche

“hasn't your mother taught you it is rude to interrupt a conversation which you have no part in? that just won't do!”

static filled the air and you feared you were going to implode if the heavy pressure didn't lift off soon enough, so you decided to take action

“ugh... yes, I'm the head chef! but, well, I... could actually use some practice and proper training?”

you hated how uncertain you sounded, but Angel's comments and your own dissatisfaction with your culinary products made you quite self-conscious about your skills

“don't fret your pretty little head about it, my dear! I, for one, am a culinary connaisseur and wonderful chef, if I do say so myself. I'll be ecstatic to guide you through your training!”

how you'd be able to handle his booming voice during hours and hours of practice was your first and main concern, but you had never been one to refuse the chance to finally prove the people who had criticized you wrong *cough cough* Angel Dust

since that day, Alastor began to personally give you cooking lessons

he was exuberant and pretty sly when it came to veiled jabs about your dreadful cooking, but he really took his time to help you out

which you had been both grateful and suspicious about

“now, we can't have our future patrons starving to death, can we?”

he was strangely patient and an overall good teacher too (emphasis on overall)

he guided you step by step through each dish, simultaneously showing off his own flawless culinary skills

you hated that you daily found yourself boosting his already GIGANTIC ego, but you couldn't help it. you could only dream about reaching that level of artistry in cooking

he always came up with creative recipes to test your limits and cooked for you in order to make you more familiar with different tastes. his mother’s were your favorites, jambalaya being his one true specialty 

he had blindfolded you once and proceeded to present you with various samples of spices, oilments and all kinds of food so that you could acquaint yourself with the smells and flavors of the ingredients and figure out yourself which ones would best suit a certain dish

saying you were hesitant at first was an understatement, because you know? being completely at the mercy of a sadistic serial killer who had terrorized the seven circles of hell? not even being able to see him? not on your bucket list

he had tried to ease your nervousness with the whole “if I wanted to hurt anyone here, I would have done so already” thing, but it was getting kind of old pretty fast

“if I had been one to play with fire, I'd have joined a circus”

he found your sense of humor as endearing your sheer presence

(when he rolled up his sleeves to cook, you felt like you could catch fire any minute, you were a slut for strong skinny arms) 

yes, Alastor had always loved to show off his own impeccable skills but he unexpectedly found himself enjoying the moments spent in your company too

he relished in seeing you fail again and again, but he also admired the way you always managed to bring yourself back up to your feet each time

he had yet to fully understand if it was foolishness or stubbornness to guide your steps

either way, you turned out to be his favorite form of entertainment in the hotel!

no matter how many slights would he send your way, you'd always manage to find an appropriate remark that made his permanent smile stretch a little more in sheer amusement

“oh dear, this beef is so undercooked one could still hear the poor beast’s lament”

“the only noise I hear is the obnoxious ramblings of an arrogant boomer”

he wasn't technically a boomer but it was always so satisfying to irk him with terms he had no knowledge of

during your cooking lessons, when the only thing left to do with a dish was wait and pray for the best, you'd come to talk about everything and anything

he'd talk to you about his precious New Orleans as he remembered it and you'd fill him in on recent historical/social developments of your time

he always looked so taken when you shared with him that modern knowledge and it made you feel useful for a change

it was, dare you say it, almost adorable how he'd ask you countless questions about your home town, the catastrophes of the last century and had there been any other war since his death?

the topic switches almost made you dizzy though

once or twice, when the timing allowed, he'd even indulge in a musical show to pass time

on the days your mood soured because of a particularly complicated recipe or bad result, he'd drag you along and dance until you were so distracted by the absurdness of the circumstances that you forgot about your previous sadness

with time, his musical shows became more frequent as he realized you'd always offer him a genuine smile after his flashy performances

it was out of personal indulgence, not because he liked the way his music always seemed to cheer you up

he'd not been vocal about the way he tried to comfort you, but you were grateful nonetheless

the first time you managed to succesfully complete one of his complicated recipes, you had almost cried

“now, now deary, under my watchful eye, it was only a matter of time until you'd finally blossom into a fine cook!”

“Alastor can I... can I hug you?”

and how could he say no to such an adorable expression? he found himself stunned into silence, not being able to tell you yes either, therefore you slowly came closer as if trying not to scare a wild animal away

when Alastor passively stood before you, not moving away, you wrapped your arms around him

he really was such a dorky noodle

he didn't relax into the hug, but he kept still as you relished in the moment and let the pressure you had hoarded for months now loose

Alastor proceeded to show off your dish during dinner and even Angel Dust could do nothing but shut up and dig in

The all powerful Radio Demon was simply so proud of your progress - not that he doubted you'd prevail in the end, thanks to his expertise and guidance

from that moment onward things only got better and even if you didn't necessarily need Alastor's help anymore, neither of you ever mentioned going your separate ways

you were both secretly glad for the silent agreement

friendly banter and dad jokes were a daily occurrence and with your new-found confidence in the field, you'd always bite back showing off new delicious dishes instead than words

you still had trouble every now and then, but Alastor was always there to help you out

not that you'd ever hear the end of it if you actually asked him for help

“what was that, my darling? is the mightiest chef in Hell having trouble in Paradise?”

you had noticed however that he'd started sneaking glances your way more than usual lately and he also started following you around wherever you went in the hotel. he became your shadow both inside and outside of the kitchen

the attention soon became unnerving, even more so when you'd go in the kitchen only find a different flower on the counter each morning

you came to realize that Alastor's advances were rather old fashioned, but you would amuse the dork and yourself for a while before taking charge

gifts became an ordinary occurrence as well as praise and you preferred not to think about what praise could do to you when it came from Alastor

he enjoyed your reactions to his flattering words a little too much, he had to admit

you had had enough of his childish antics one day and you decided to finally put your plan into action

“Al, can you come here for one sec?”

he wasn't particularly fond of the nickname, but you just loved to get under his skin as much as he did when it came to you

“what can I do for you, my darling chef?”

“here, I have a gift for you”

he looked uncharacteristically unsure of what to do but slightly amused as well. in the end curiosity took the best of him and he finally decided to open the box you had handed to him rather unceremoniously

“what is this dear?”

the apron you had chosen was a perfect fit for your long boi

“read it, please”

“kiss the cook? well, if you ask me so nicely, I just might have to”

he then proceeded to peck your cheek and you swore you could have fainted right there and then by the sheer sweetness of the gesture

it hadn't exactly been what you had planned, but you weren't going to complain

your relationship was bound to be full of surprises apparently

#hazbin hotel #hazbin alastor #hazbin hotel x reader #alastor x reader #reader insert #x reader #headcanons #hazbin hotel headcanon #alastor headcanons #hazbin oc #fandom prompts #hazbin hotel alastor #gender neutral s/o #s/o #fluff #alastor fluff #cute #love #yandere #just a little of you squint #alastor x you #you #charlie #vaggie #Angel dust #alastor imagine #imagine #hazbin hotel imagine #alastor

[artemiseamoon]

Electric Feel

Ezra x Me!

(But I love y’all so making it Ezra x reader for your enjoyment as well.)

Words: 849

Author note: I have no self control. That’s all. I saw those new pics and gifs and delayed all my writing plans for tonight to write this. Plus, this IS a straight up self indulgent drabble because this song means a lot to me, it’s in my heart and I’m in an emotional funk atm.

Credit to GIF makers | Warnings: None

Song

You were feeling off lately. Mood changes weren’t uncommon. The deep well of emotions you help inside had a way of swinging out a whack at times; making equilibrium hard to find. This was one of those times.

By time Thursday night came you’ve binged a show, baked, read a book, wrote a few fics, tried to paint - you checked off all the things on your list, all the things that usually help you, or at least, distract you. Nothing was working.

Your best friend suggested you go out, though you weren’t fully in the mood you loved to dance and it usually did wonders.

There was nothing like sweating it all out; anger, pain, anxiety, fear, all of it and just leaving it on the fucking dance floor. It was cathartic.

Dressing up in one of your favorite outfits, a gold jumpsuit, you style your hair and do the finishing touches.

…

When you walk into the club the collective vibe is energizing, though you still feel a little nervous. That was one of the things about being an introvert, social situations were kind of hard for you. So one of the first things you did was make a B line for the bar, usually a drink or two could loosen you up enough.

Once the transition happens, you could be found chatting it up with people, even dancing on the stage. But you needed a little liquid courage to turn that version of you on.

After a while of hanging by the bar and talking, you and your friend finish your drinks and move to the dance floor. Stopping in the center of the crowd, you just start to dance when you catch sight of a man on stage. Once you see him you can’t see anything else.

He’s the most beautiful man you’d ever seen and he was dancing on that stage like he owned it. Sure, there were about 5 other people on it, but the only one that mattered was him.

As he snapped his fingers and moved his hips you felt hypnotized, and from the sight of it, you were far from the only one.

This man was dancing alone and floating in his own orbit in a crowded room. He was sharply dressed too, a leather jacket, black pants and shoes, and a nice yellow and black top.

Even his hair is beautiful, curly and dark, one chunky curl falling to his face. A rouge streak of white blonde near his left temple.

He even has some of your favorite features on a man; a hawk- like nose, dimples, dark soulful eyes. You don’t even mind his mustache.

The sheer confidence and playfulness coming off of him is dizzying and you want to be close to him, you want to know who he is.

Just as the thought crosses your mind, the man looks at you, or it seems that way. You feel like a deer in the headlights, you stop dancing and just stare back.

He lifts his hand and his fingers move, motioning you to come over. Or, could it be someone behind you? You look around, then back at him. He purses his lips and nods his head.

“Ummm…” You start to say and your friend pushes you forward.

“Omg he’s totally talking about you! GO!” She’s excited enough for both of you.

You turn to her, it can’t be. It has to be one of the other girls in this place.

“Hey goldie! A dance?” He shouts out at you.

You feel a mix of nervousness and excitement as you make your way to him, passing envious glares on the way.

The opening notes of Electric Feel pumps through the speakers and a huge smile fills your lips. You feel the heaviness of the week lift from your shoulder with just a few notes.

You fucking loved this song. No matter how shitty you felt, no matter how depressed, this song just made you feel good.

You climb the stairs to the stage and the handsome stranger is waiting with a warm smile. He holds out his palm. You give him your hand and he kisses it, his other hand over his heart.

“My name is Ezra and you are absolutely the most breathtaking person here.”

You smile, biting your lip.

“Please give me the honor of knowing your name.” He starts to move his feet, rhythm taking over him again. You lean forward and tell him your name.

“Kevva above, what a beautiful name,” he repeats it, his southern drawl like honey on the name you’ve heard all your life and have grown used to. Ezra gave it new life, “shall we?" he asks, motioning to the center of the stage.

“Fuck yes.” You say with so much excitement you surprise yourself. Ezra takes you by the hand as you move to the center of the stage.

Being next to him is electrifying, you lose yourself and you dance together like you have a million times before.

Maybe it was the gold dress, maybe the moon - whatever it was the stars aligned in a way that made your heart sing and you give yourself away to the night, to the music, to Ezra.

Permanent taglist @readsalot73​ @phoenixhalliwell

@buckysalefty @roxypeanut @laketaj24 @lovinglokiforever @nerdypinupcrystal @wigwitch

Pedro @agirllovespancakes @cinewhore

@promiscuoussatan @thegreenkid

@absurdthirst @marydjarin @ladytrashbird

Ezra

@rzrcrst @agirllovespancakes @oldstuffnewstuff

@opheliaelysia @voteforpedropascal @engineeredfiction @buckstaposition

@holographic-carmen @readsalot73 @cinewhore

#ezra fic #ezra prospect #ezra x ofc #ezra x me #masterlist #ezra x reader #pedro pascal characters #pedro pascal as ezra #dancing Ezra

[the-karma-cafe]

love me dead

a/n: obsessed with this gif and for WHAT mans so tortured makes my savior complex go brrr shkdjfgj /j

completely self-indulgent i just like the song a lot (songfics are weird to write for me tho sdfjk) anyway stream love me dead by ludo 🙄🙄

so the scenario is like üh time traveler!reader has to make money n decides to perform songs at a bar until they find a way to get back to da future but I don’t really get into it sdjfk

Warning(s): mentions of a roofie, attempted assault 

LEVI POV

I dropped into the seat next to Erwin, crossing one leg over the other. This was a waste of time.

I batted some smoke away from my face, sneering in disgust at the other patrons. I didn’t care how good this performer was, the bar reeked.

Erwin offered a polite smile. “They should be out soon.” I rolled my eyes and studied the people around me. They didn’t seem too focused on any performances, too entranced by their alcohol and conversation. Maybe Erwin was just using this as an excuse to get me out of my office—it wouldn’t be the first time. “Tch.”

The guitarist stepped out onto the stage, settling themself down on the stool. They were younger than I expected, prettier too.

They hummed quietly to themself, tuning their guitar. They seemed to be in their own little bubble, as if they’d be performing whether we were here or not. The guitarist looked up at their crowd, a small smile pulling at their lips. I frowned. Obviously no one’s paying attention. Why are they smiling?

They cleared their throat and began to pluck at the strings. A couple patrons looked over, grimacing. It didn’t sound very nice. I quirked a brow, glancing at Erwin. His smile didn’t falter.

“Love me cancerously,” They began, their voice smoother than expected. “Like a salt sore soaked in the sea.” They began to strum regularly, the song taking shape. Sea? My mind echoed. I wondered if I had misheard.

“High maintenance means you’re a gluttonous queen,” My eyebrows raised at this. Gutsy to say anything remotely negative about royalty. “Narcissistic and mean.” They strummed a bit more before looking up, a smirk twisting their lips. Their hand left the guitar to snap.

Some conversation quieted. Their voice roughened. “Kill me romantically,” they spat. “Fill my soul with vomit then ask me for a piece of gum.” They taunted. I blinked. I’d never heard music like this. Erwin might’ve been onto something. Gum?

“Bitter and dumb! You’re my sugarplum~” their voice rumbled on the pet name. “You’re awful!” Their voice and gaze softened. “I love you.”

The singer skillfully transitioned to an upbeat strum. “She moves through moonbeams slowly, she knows just how to hold me. And when her edges soften, her body is my coffin.”

They took a breath, their gaze turning mischievous. “I know she drains me slowly, she wears me down to bones in bed.” They winked. My lips twitched.

“Must be the sign on my head, that says, oh,” Their strokes grew angrier. “Love me DEAD!” They sneered. I found myself hanging onto their changing expressions. How could they move from loving to seething with a strum? “Love me dead,” The words around me fizzled from my consciousness.

“You’re a faith-healer on TV.” TV? Faith-healer? Their song held emotion and meaning, but some words were foreign. I couldn’t be mishearing all of them. “You’re an office park without any trees,” Again. Office park? “Corporate and cold,” they built. “Gushing for gold! Leave me alone.”  

The song grew angry again. “You suck so passionately.” they moaned, earning a few laughs from those paying attention. “You’re a parasitic psycho filthy creature finger-bangin’ my heart.” I muffled a laugh at “finger-bangin’.” Songs in these bars were never so vulgar.

“You call me up drunk! Does the fun ever start?” Call me up? I absentmindedly wondered if that was some new slang. Their eyes met mine. “You’re hideous.” They simpered. Irritation began to coil in my gut. Are they fucking talking to me?

“And sexy!” They smiled, laughing at my expression. The annoyance dissipated. I cleared my throat from embarrassment. Right. Not at me. Of course.

They resumed and finished their chorus. “Wow! Uh~” they moaned, clearly sexually, eliciting another laugh from their small crowd. They continued solely on guitar for some measures, regaining their breath. Their song built in speed and tension. I hadn’t heard the guitar manipulated in this way before. Erwin was definitely onto something. 

Not that I’d thank him for introducing me.

The tension dropped. “Love me cancerously,” their soft voice from the beginning had returned, the words almost a whisper. They whistled playfully. And just like that the song had roughened again. “Ba da da da da daa. Ba da da da da daa.” They sang some gibberish.

Their eyes floated to me again. “How’s your new boy?” Their voice was mocking and loud. “Does he know about me? You’ve got the mark of the beast. You’re born of a jackal!” A wh- 

“You’re beautiful~!” They sang, holding my gaze a beat longer than the other patrons, their eyes trailing over my form approvingly. I straightened up, feeling like I had something to prove to this random performer.

They grinned fondly, looking away to sing the chorus again. It ended quickly. “Oh,” their vocals caressed the word. “Love me,” they dragged it out before slashing down on their guitar. “DEAD.”

Smatterings of applause rang out, and a couple of tips were placed in their jar. That was the extent of their praise, yet they seemed happy anyway, cheeks flushed.

I blinked, forcing myself from my stupor. I turned to see Erwin’s expectant smile. “Well?” He prompted.

“I’ve heard better.” I hadn’t. “They kept winking at me it was obnoxious.” It was cute. “And it still reeks in here.” It did. I hoped the performer didn’t smell like this godawful place.

Erwin’s eyes twinkled knowingly. “Well now you know where it is, so you can avoid it.”

I nodded stubbornly, eyeing them in my periphery. They were chatting amicably with another customer. He handed them a drink and they happily took it, gulping it down after their performance. I narrowed my eyes at the interaction, but left with Eyebrows.

Hanji found Erwin almost the second we left, and dragged him away for something. I wasn’t listening, though I doubted it was important.

I made my way back to the base, wrinkling my nose in disgust at the place around me. It wasn’t the underground by a long shot, but its dingy alleys and dimly-lit streets were a far-cry from the clean roads I’d gotten used to in Wall Rose.

“..ey man, quit it.” A tired voice came from an alley behind me. I quirked a brow and stepped back, peering inside.

A low laugh rumbled in the dark. “You told me to love you dead, didn’t you? Don’t mind if I-“ A slap bounced off the brick walls.

I began to walk into the alley, their silhouettes becoming clearer as I neared.

“I wasn’t talking to you, jackass. Let me g-” the taller form grabbed the smaller one, wrenching them close.

“Now you’ve fucking done it.” The lower voice growled. “Bitch. You think you’re better than me? You won’t b-“

“Shit or get off the pot.” I grunted.

“Eh?” The taller form turned to me, dropping the person in his hold. I heard them cough weakly. His features became more clear to me as he neared. Typical brute you’d find outside of a bar, harassing someone. He towered above me, sneering. “What makes you think you can talk to me like that, little man?” He snickered, patting my head.

Rage surged through my chest, pushing my fist up and through his jaw. He flew backwards, hitting the ground hard. I wasted no time in crushing him with my boot. I dug my heel into his cheek. “You’re disgusting.”

Something touched my arm softly. I turned slightly to see the performer. They cleared their throat awkwardly. “Hey,” they started, but it came out raspy and broken. They winced, and tried again. “Sorry, you’ve already helped me out a lot. Could you take me to a hotel or something? I think he might’ve slipped something in my drink.” Their grip tightened on my arm to steady themself.

I hummed, turning back to the dickhead below me. I ground my foot further into his face, hearing him groan pathetically. The performer’s weight grew heavier and I sighed, turning to scoop them up. I’d haul them over my shoulder, but… 

I grimaced at the thought of puke on my jacket.

I peered down at them. They had already fallen asleep, their face peaceful. I stared for a minute.

“I’m not done with you.” his voice came from behind me again. I turned, boredom lacing my features. The attacker staggered up, twirling a knife from his pocket. “Heh, now wh-“ I cut him off with a sharp kick to the gut.

He fell to the ground, unconscious. I spit on him.

I glanced back down at the person in my arms. They couldn’t pay for a hotel and I certainly wasn’t going to pay for one for them. I began to take them to base.

I passed some strange looks on the way but silenced them with a glare. When I finally reached base again, everyone was already asleep. I mentally thanked Erwin for being such a hardass about curfews. The last thing I needed was some snot-nosed cadet standing up to me under the guise of a savior complex.

I dropped them on my bed unceremoniously. Not like I used it anyway. They curled on top of the blankets, shivering slightly. “Tch.” I pried back some of the covers and hoisted them up and onto the sheets, tossing the cover on top of them. A small smile graced their lips. My eyes lingered on it a beat too long for my liking.

I rolled my eyes and went to my desk. I had shit to do.

~

Y/N POV

I groaned, rolling over. I felt, well, fucking bad. I could barely remember… I furrowed my brow. 

I was singing in that bar… oh, there was that cute grumpy-lookin’ guy in the back… then Paul came up again with his stupid pickup lines… oh. It was blank after that.

“You awake?” A gruff voice muttered, their breath tickling my ear. I jumped, my eyes flying open. I feared the worst, backing away from them immediately. My eyes took a minute to adjust, the person in front of me waiting patiently as I blinked owlishly.

It was… the cute grump? I smiled, confused. “Did I get lucky?”

He huffed a laugh. “You wish.” He straightened up, raking a hand through his hair. I watched, a little mesmerized by how soft it looked as it fell back onto his face. “Your buddy from the bar got a little too friendly, and I’m nice.” He paused, pinning me with his stare. He had pretty eyes. I smiled softly and his brow furrowed in response, studying me.

“Thank you.” I pushed up from the bed, wobbling slightly. I steadied myself on his arm. “Sorry.” He remained silent. I leaned against his chest. “Sorry. Can I stay like this for a second? Everything’s spinning.”

He sighed, his arms winding around me. “Most people just ask if they want a hug.”

I laughed, subconsciously snuggling closer. “People ask you for hugs? But you’re so scary! I can’t see it.”

“Some brats are gutsy.” He shrugged.

I hummed, not having a witty comeback. My head felt fuzzy. 

I pulled back in his hold to meet his eyes, and suddenly wished I hadn’t. He didn’t even need to do anything, just making eye contact was enough to make my brain short-circuit. My gaze dropped to his lips. I licked mine distractedly. “Um, how can I make it up to you? Y’know, the whole…” I waved my hand around. “Thing.”

He hummed, breaking eye contact. His hand reached up and twirled a strand of my hair. He watched the movement with a disinterested look. “I’ll have to think on it.” A smirk tugged at his lips. “I have an idea on where you can start.”

I perked up. “Yeah?”

He lightly tugged on my hair, pulling me closer to his face. His eyes moved to my lips, his face drawing nearer. “Oh!” I whispered, leaning in.

He stopped. “Levi.”

“What?” I blinked, still focused on his lips.

“My name. Do you make a habit of kissing men you don’t know?”

I flushed. “I make an exception for cute ones, Levi.”

His lips twitched. “Good answer.” He dropped my hair and stepped back, crossing his arms across his chest. “I’ve helped you enough. Go before I make you clean for the next hour.”

a/n: ohmygod can i please get a hobby KSDJFHG bitches actin like bein a levi simp is a fulltime job its me im bitches

#attack on titan x reader #attack on titan fanfiction #levi attack on titan #attack on titan oneshot #attack on titan #gn!reader #aot oneshots #aot #levi ackerman #levi ackerman x reader #levi ackerman x you #levi x reader #levi rivaille #snk oneshot #snk #shingeki no kyoujin fanfiction #shingeki no kyoujin levi #shingeki no kyojin #songfic #reader insert

[spaciousignatius]

Thanks @bunny-hoodlum for the tag. Also it’s just great to hear from you in general lol

Rules: Answer 30 questions and tag 20 blogs you are contractually obligated to get to know better. (No, I do not know 20 people)

Name: Josh

Gender: Male

Star Sign: Aquarius, I looked it up recently (to argue about how unnecessary and dumb horoscopes are), and I’m Gemini moon. That’s still meaningless, though. Horoscopes are intentionally vague so everything they say about a person with a specific birthday will line up at least somewhat. Don’t label me based on that bullshit.

Height: 6′

Time: 9:12 PM EST

Birthday: Feb 5th

Favorite Bands: We’ll go by most listened to. Green Day, A Day to Remember, blink-182, Mindless Self Indulgence, The Cranberries, Juice WRLD, JunkBunny, Dwarves, The Bouncing Souls, Movements, The Casualties, Grayscale, Dethklok, Black Sabbath, Sum 41, Senses Fail, Silverstein, Taking Back Sunday (I have named very few for the sake of my fingers, lol)

Favorite Solo Artists: Sasha Sloan, Taylor Swift (don’t judge me), nothing,nowhere., Dio (technically not solo but it was his project)

Last Movie: Chunibyo demo Koi ga Shitai!: Take on Me

When did I create this blog: September 2014

What I post: Whatever the fuck I want!! Mostly just anime gifs I like lol. And my own music!!

Last thing I googled: australium drop rate mvm tf2 (I’ve been playing TF2 a lot today)

Other blogs: None, what you see is what you get. I’m not interesting or patient enough to dedicate a blog to anything specific

Do I get asks: When I ask for them in ask games lol, otherwise though none. Which is a bummer cause I like talking to people lmao

Why I chose my URL: I use it for everything

Following: 168

Followers: 61

Average hours of sleep: I don’t really do that shit lmao. 5 if I’m lucky

Instruments: Guitar, bass and synthesizers. I’m solid at tambourine, too

What am I wearing: A flannel shirt and black pants

Dream Job(s): Food truck homie. I’ve come to terms with it that I’ll never be a touring musician, so now it’s all about the portable noms

Dream Trip: A trip where I can go anywhere, whenever I want. I want to roam the Earth, sail the seas and fly through the skies

Favorite Foods: Too many! I love seafood, I’m a huge fan of the classics, hot sauce rings through my blood and I especially love chicken wings. Ethnic foods are especially good. More specifics? Alright, my all-time favorite is nachos. I’m a fucking whiz-kid when it comes to making a dope plate of nachos. Never accept any limitations. If you think it’d be good on a base of cheese and chips, TRY IT.

Last Book I Read: The Recording Engineer’s Handbook by Bobby Owsinski

Top 3 Fictional Universe I'd Like to Live In: uhhhhhh. Black Sails. I can’t name three

Tagging: @letsfuck-conformity just you, I’m not tagging a bunch of people

#answers game #fun #asking stuffs #questions #answwers

[miomediator]

Homestuck - Heart and Mind

Inner self and outer self

Content/trigger warnings: Heart: blood, decapitated heads, flashing colors, eye strain

Mind: flashing lights, repetitive looped gif

Very veeeery long thread!

Heart

I’m going to be honest, this is the more head-scratching (ha!) symbol of the 12, in my opinion. While the others immediately (or take a moment to) make sense, this one confuse me. Sure, it’s a cartoonish representation of a pink human heart.

The problem isn’t the main shape, but the right side of it. Beside the fact that it’s more original and eye-catching than a filled heart, why this gap, this wiggling line? But let’s proceed in order and take a more general approach first.

It’s a pink heart on a darker purple/pink background. The left side is filled, while the right side looks like a tail that coming in or out the shape. We’ll get into it a bit down below.

In pop and universal culture, people has always been show this embodiment of the heart. While many theorise about when and where it came from, a stable origin was registered during the Middle Age, as a pear.

Here’s an exempt of the theory:

“Historically speaking, the first known depiction of a heart shape, which can be vaguely considered as a symbol of love, was made in the 1250s. It appeared in a decoration of a capital letter “S” in a manuscript of a French romance called “Roman de la Poire” (Romance of the Pear). 

This miniature depicts a kneeling lover who offers his heart to a lady. This heart shape is similar to a pine cone, and it is held upside down (not in the usual position of the heart shape that we know today). Researchers only assume that the pine cone-shaped object is a heart because its part held by the lover is hidden. The name of this novel is “Romance of the Pear,” so the object may also be a pear.”

The earliest depiction of a heart symbol as a symbol of love in a manuscript of the “Roman de la Poire.”

[Mio’s note: Roman actually means novel in french, and isn’t necessarily romantic. Though I guess it is in this context.]

It is interesting, in this paragraph the heart is both referred as pine cone-shaped and pear-shaped. The latter is extremely funny, has it reminds me of a famous fanon HS meme “Well this has gone completely fucking pear-shaped”, attributed to Dirk and the decapitation joke. He, in fact, never really said it in Canon.

If we indulge this banter, the pear-shaped heart would symbolise things that took a disastrous turn, and so negative and stressful elements such as anxiety, adrenaline (negative in this case, positive in others), heart pounding, leaving a weird and unpleasant sandy taste on your tongue.

But I digress.

What we actually need to focus on is that:

A fruit, the pear, has been associated to a love gesture, like a gift to express romantic affection to someone.

The pear is upside-down, as the text point out. Which is curious and worth mentioning.

“the pine cone-shaped object is a heart because its part held by the lover is hidden”. So what is important it’s what is inside it, and so inside your heart. Which perfectly echoes with my subhead: Inner self.

The article continues, with Guido whom also depicted his version of a heart:

“Guido da Vigevano, a 14th-century Italian physicist, made some anatomical drawings of a heart that are very similar to the descriptions made by Aristotle. These depictions, along with the presumption that the human heart is connected with emotion and pleasure, transformed the heart shape into a symbol of medieval love.”

After this, a picture shows Charity incarnated as a woman, giving her heart to Jesus. While I won’t dwell on the religious implications, it is a metaphor of showing care and compassion to someone. Giving them a bit of your time, patience, and heart. In an extreme case, being completely devoted to someone in a strong way. 

Heart-bound fellows, despite the fact that they are concerned about themselves, are very people-oriented. They deeply want others to feel well and happy. Hence the expression being ‘kind-hearted/big-hearted’, and ‘work you heart out’. They put a lot of themselves into their hobbies, which they are passionate about.

After this, the article introduce the playing cards, implying that Guido had an influence on the decision to show a heart among the symbols:

The playing cards are even more relevant to this analysis, as their modern symbol are present in Troll romance. Here, the ‘clover’ is an acorn, the ‘spade’ a leaf, perhaps ivy, the heart is even more like the one we know nowadays, and the ‘diamond’ surprisingly is a small metallic bell. This set is dated from ~1540.

[Sources: this site about the origins of the red heart]

That was a (very) quick look at the evolution of the heart symbol.

I could go on and talk about Valentine’s Day, but it would be paraphrasing the site, and we have much more content to focus on. I invite you to take a look at said site and do some research of your own if you are interested about this peculiar bit.

Let’s go into more direct Homestuck content.

During the adventure, we are introduced to three Heart-players. Nepeta Leijon, Dirk Strider, and Meulin Leijon, in appearance order.

They all have interests related to feelings and love.

Nepeta has a shipping grid of her own friends on her cave’s walls and seems to be proficient in moirallegiance, a quadrant that require to be invested and devoted to their partner feelings. She had a crush on Karkat that she never confessed. Karkat knew but never worked the nerve to do something about it.

Dirk is engrossed by romance and smut, unashamedly draw his friends getting frisky (in a borderline-obscene way), is passionate about the projects he works on (work his heart out, sometimes literally). He was (and still is) madly in love with Jake. But by being overbearing and socially inept their relationship crumbled (while not being the only reason it didn’t work out).

[I love talking about Dirk, but I’ll do my best in this analysis to properly and equally split the content between Nepeta, Meulin and him] 

Meulin not only love shipping, she also gives directly advises to her friends, and acted as a matchmaker. She shipped several of the alpha trolls but according to Aranea, she focused on how cute a couple would be, instead on how and if their dynamic would work out. Her matespritship with Kurloz was cut short when he yelled in his sleep, deafening Meulin in the process.

Meulin talking about shipping the human teens, transcript from the Openbound game, part 2

The most obvious element they share is that they are zealous and unlucky in love. One would say it depends on the class, personality or aspect. They seem all correct assumptions to me.

Nepeta was the first to be presented as a Heart-bound character, the Rogue of Heart. So, logically, the design of the Heart symbol could be inspired by her.

How, you ask. Let’s take a look to Nepeta’s sign.

The ‘Leo’ sign, in human culture represents the constellation of the lion, with the circle as their head, and the loop as the body and tail.

Now looking back and forth to Leo and Heart: Heeeey! It’s quite similar. Can you see it?

Alright, that’s a good start. So the right side is like a tail. Let’s dig and look around Heart/heart. Heart is synonym of soul. Its symbol is a pink blood pusher. For humans it represent romantic love, our only ‘official’ quadrant. A red lover for trolls is called a matesprit. Sprit comes from esprit, which is the french word for spirit. So matesprit is a soul mate. But this term is used for another concept in Homestuck. A spiritual guide during the player journey: a sprite.

The link between the Leo and Heart sign is getting stronger. The circle as the head, the wiggling line as the body and tail. The sprite is a living spirit, a floating soul present in the physical plane. So the right side, the tail, is bound to the left side, the head. Meaning the soul is bound to the body. Oh. But what if it was detached from it? Yeeep, you know, I know, they know. This is why and how decapitation come into the picture.

Beheaded Dirk and Roxy hit in the stomach, from the [S] Dirk: synchronize

Jasperosesprite^2 prototyping Nepeta’s decapitated head in Jake’s kernelsprite

A kiss on the lips, which is seen often as a romantic gesture, is one of the resurrecting mechanism within SBURB/SGRUB. It transfers the soul from the ‘original’ body to the dream self, turning the latter into the main body. Separating the head from the rest of the body amounts to take away the soul, while throwing the head back (or any part of the corpse) into a kernelsprite recreate the link between the two. 

 A kernel is: 

“ a computer program at the core of a computer's operation system with complete control over everything in the system. It is an integral part of any operating system. It is the "portion of the operating system code that is always resident in memory". It facilitates interactions between hardware and software components.””

Source: Wikipedia

It’s a brain that bound the soul to the body, and is the core of the system, controlling it. So basically, the digital mind made in SBURB. One display among the several ones of the Heart/Mind duality.

So wait, if the head in this case is the soul, and looking back at medieval picture at the beginning (dude kneeling in front of a lady offering a heart) then Dirk sendificating his head in [S] Dirk Synchronize/Unite is really a romantic overture toward Jake (sacrificing a part of his self then Hal prompting him to kiss Dirk’s lips). Same for Jasperose resurrecting Nepeta by using her head. Damn. You two are smooth operators in the most disturbing way.

Another personal theory in my mind, is that pink ‘tail’ could represent how a person use and interact with their aspect.

Nepeta, as a Rogue, remove or give personality, passion and feelings to someone. 

For example she could appease a friend by removing their frustration. In contrary she could also give passionate feelings to someone who needs them. Such as in Ni no Kuni! In which the protagonist Oliver takes a piece of somebody’s soul (what is called emotion or virtue) to give it to someone who needs it. Those people are referred to “brokenhearted”.

So the wiggling tail would be something introduced or take away from the soul.

Dirk, as a Prince, has shown having the power to completely remove someone’s soul from their body. 

And for that, he doesn’t like his abilities, exhibiting him as a ‘cartoonish villain’ like Voldemort (splintering his soul into horcruxes) or Xehanort (putting part of himself in the Organization members). Though he could remove and grab one of his friend’s soul to save them from a close death. See the fan comic Double Death of the Author by The Lifetime Channel on MSPFA, and the fan fiction Defragmentation by Katreal on Ao3.

In this case, the tail would represent the soul being slowly removed.

Meulin, as a Mage, have an understanding of people’s strong feelings, especially romantic ones. 

Her ability is to read, feel and use her knowledge to help her friends figure out who is better suited for them. Meulin’s powers are similar to a diviner, allowing to form or break a couple. Perhaps with practice and reaching the God Tiers, she could even perceive red threads of fate which bound two lovers regardless of the location and time. The manga Bound Beauty (sorry, no english Wikipedia page) features a young lady with the ability to see those strings, usually invisible to the eye. She uses it at her advantage to coach her classmates, in exchange of money.

In this case, the tail would represent the red/pink thread of fate, coming not from the pinkie, but directly from the soul.

Heart-bound recommended Lyricstuck: What do you want from me by Pink Floyd

Mind

Watch as I make as much Mind puns as possible :p

This one is easier to read, which is also why it will be difficult for me to write a substantial section about it. Let’s start with the obvious.

It’s a vivid teal on a bit darker green background. Same as the Heart aspect, it’s more likely that the palette has been inspired by the first revealed character related to Mind: Terezi Pyrope, from the Teal caste. The shape is composed of an orb surrounded by three hook-like tails connected to the center. What effortlessly come to mind (ha!) is an organic cell, from the brain.

Picture source: https://www.pinterest.fr/pin/784048616363923971/

Neurons allow and facilitate informations to navigate in the brain. 

It’s:

an electrically excitable cell that communicates with other cells via specialized connections called synapses.

Source: Wikipedia

Information goes from a neuron, through a synapse to another neuron. An idea leads to another, connecting bits that turns into the big picture. The Mind aspect seems to share the concept of data with the Light aspect. The differences are that Light focuses on the most fructuous parts, ones that lead them to victory, while the Mind-bound works with choices and a mindset, in a more wide range, then narrowing the paths.

Terezi using her vision to s33 what action leads to which outcome, searching for the most fitting one.

Rose insisting that Kanaya come along the 3 years ride, while explaining and guiding Kanaya to make her narrowing her vision of “victory”.

So both Seer treat information, just not in the same way. 

The outcome still remains ”I want to advance toward a certain reality and I help others to reach it as long as they follow my instructions”. The inconvenient blind spot (sorry for the involuntary pun) is that they hardly can use those abilities for themselves. Either we don’t witness it on-screen, or they barely do it in the first place (a good example is the retroactive continuity during the GO timeline).

But let’s end the Seer detour here. Back to the Mind aspect itself.

We have a whole system going on in our own head. When I try to look for something, if I don’t find it directly, then I turn to something related to said information. Like an indirect research on the internet. If we don’t pay attention and don’t try to understanding our mind, as well as others’, we just end up being frustrated and lost.

The thing is you make your own world, with every action, decision, it creates a new path full of possibilities. The words you say or keep to yourself, acting or staying put, it all matter. Grasping and managing to own it, and you’ll have a better grip on your reality. It’s not my Aspect, I do have trouble making decisions and take responsibilities, however everybody needs to go through it.

The within interacts with the without, the mind to the outside word. We are always worried about how others perceive us, what kind of depiction of the self we convey. So we desperately put filters to the point of exhibiting falsehood of a personality. While introspection is observing ourselves, extraspection is perceiving things that are outside our mind. Hence the outer self, complementary to the inner self.

Terezi perfectly get how people work, and can manipulate them with ease, in contrary to Vriska whom doesn’t want to and go for mind-controlling them. Joke’s on her, her ‘mind’-control is proof that she fails in this peculiar category, since Terezi doesn’t need any psychic powers to convince someone to do and give the info she desires.

The big contrast contrast between Vriska and her, is that Terezi looks and determine what matters or not, while Vriska force the odds to be in her favor, shamelessly stealing fortune from others. She doesn’t even want to understand or try, she is a cheater and proud of it.

That was the link and differences between Mind and Light.

Let’s take a look at the Heart/Mind duality again. Both seem to share a connection with electricity.

Terezi gazing at the sky of her planet, the Land of Thought and Flow

It’s no secret that the connection between neurons are often compared to electronic chips. Cables canalize and facilitate electricity’s flow, to power devices, to link ideas and data. Or just used as raw energy.

Brain-not-so-ghost-anymore Dirk trying to rip Aranea’s soul

Lightning seen from a building roof on Dirk’s land

While the electricity for the Mind symbol refer to synapses, for the Heart/heart, also called blood pusher, would allude to cardiac nerves.

Bec Noir preparing the Red Miles to be thrown at the Genesis Frog

Instead of thoughts, it’s blood that navigates in the ‘roads’.

For the Heart-bound, the lightning represents the chaos that are emotions and sensitive intuition. While for the Mind-bound the lightning is order, reasoning and cold logic that strikes to bring justice, whether said justice is deem fair or not.

Let’s talk about a famous movies series in which among the core themes resolve around the Mind/Heart duality: The Matrix

Each building, tree, person are made with an inimaginable amount of lines of code

The Matrix spoilers ahead!!

If you’re not familiar with this trilogy (or haven’t watch it in a while), here’s the plot:

//Thomas A. Anderson is a programmer for a big software company, and in parallel is Neo, a hacker that illegally provides contraband programming. Agents in black suits caught up with his activities, but in truth approached Neo because a renowned hacker, Morpheus, enemy number one according to Agent Smith, contacted the programmer. After offering to clean his criminal record in exchange of helping catching Morpheus, which Neo refuses, the agents violently implant a snitch in our protagonist.

Neo wake up in his bed, believing it was all but an awful nightmare. Appearances are deceiving, as ‘dream sequences’ are layers on layers on reality. The resistance group calls him again, setting a rendez-vous under a bridge to help him and answer his questions, if he is willing to cooperate.

After a lot of hesitation, snitch removal, and the insistence of one of the member, Trinity, he finally accept and follow the group to go meet Morpheus.

There, Neo is given a choice, The Choice if we’re going with Homestuck comparisons: 

"This is your last chance. After this, there is no turning back. You take the blue pill—the story ends, you wake up in your bed and believe whatever you want to believe. You take the red pill—you stay in Wonderland and I show you how deep the rabbit-hole goes."

Morpheus, Matrix (1st movie)

By choosing the take the red pill, Neo accepts to unplug himself (literally) from his ‘reality’ and see the truth: the world he lives in is all but an illusion, a huge program that is the Matrix, blinding humans to a make-believe 1999 year, used as living batteries, harvested and enslaved by the machines. Humanity is in ruins, and a war between people and machines has gone for a whole century.

Morpheus tells him that they believe he’s ‘The One’ and he has the power to stop the war. From the real world, Neo will train to reinforce his mind, going back into the Matrix and fight different enemy programs. While constantly being undergo introspection, looking for what to believe, who he is, questioning his values and acts.\\

From there I’ll go back and worth to Homestuck and the movies to point out the similarities and support my choice.

I’ll begin with the Mind aspect first:

Millions of human beings are plugged, treated as programs that have a function, along with providing a great amount of energy to the machines. Stuck and having their body atrophied, their brain is connected to the Matrix. The program control everything of their life and vision, from their status in society, to their physical sensations.

"What is real? How do you define real?" asks Morpheus to Neo. “If real is what you can feel, smell, taste and see, then real is simply electrical signals interpreted by your brain." As I quote farther above, reality is something that isn’t there, but rather something you make. With Morpheus’ quote, my interpretation of the Mind symbol being neutrons and synapses is consolidated.

After being blinded by Vriska, Terezi way of ‘seeing’ shifted. Slowly, her perception of things changed and she grasped on a new light her reality.

She didn’t need eyes, but expanding her mind and freeing herself from the vision that clouded her. Navigating inward and outward, understanding what she felt, her inner self and outer self, back and forth. But it wasn’t perfect, no, she had and still is working on it, as she can be blinded by either cold logic or passionate feelings. Neo and her have the same weakness, they both are in love and it obstructs their mission. The dilemma is exhibited in [S]: Flip, where she has to choose between letting Vriska go, exposing the whole team to Jack, or killing her to protect her friends.

Terezi, on the path she let Vriska go

Vriska in her ancestor outfit, fitting Jack in one reality

A painful sacrifice is needed to be able to go forward, a reality in which most of them survive and has a chance of winning the game. A necessarily path that she regretted.

Neo with the Architect in the secret room, the screens displaying the different paths his reactions could take (Matrix: Reloaded, second movie)

In Matrix, Neo has to reach the source of all the program to reinstall the previous version of the code. The first time, he has a small range of opportunity, only a few minutes gap to access a secret room that would allow him to reach the source, among the city of machines. There, he encounters the Architect, a program whom function and personality is based on the creator of the Matrix, and have a chat with him.

Six others chosen ones preceded him, and all failed to accomplished this mission.

Why? “Choice. The problem is choice” answers Neo. Because unlike the Architect, Neo is a flawed human being. He can’t just brush off his feelings, he’s in love with Trinity. The latter despite asked not to join him plugged herself back into the Matrix allowing him to get safely into the secret room. With that, she exposed herself to an inevitable death. And so Neo took the door that lead to his lover, enabling within him a miracle that resurrected Trinity. 

Here was a couple of paragraphs about the dance between duty and love, cold logic and passion.

I’ll continue with the Heart aspect:

I talked about love and romance until now, but let’s take a look at another side of the Heart. The identity.

After taking the red pill- Neo turns his head and gaze at a mirror.

It’s shattered. The symbolism here shows that he’s lacking a part of himself, something that scratch him without being able to put his finger on it. Soon, right before his eyes, the mirror mends itself. Because he chosen the truth, the path that would lead him to understand and find himself.

The mirror is of course, a reference and call back to Alice, mentioned shortly before by Morpheus. No no, please forget about any cartoon, especially Disney’s version of the story. And focus about the sequel book: “Through the Looking-Glass, and What Alice Found There”. It’s a curious, deep and tricky book. I would know, I read it twice and I’m still confused.

But I’m sure of one thing, the adventures of Alice has always been about introspection. First in chapter 1, Alice imagines for fun that the mirror in the living room lead to a parallel world. Like Neo, she touches the mirror and engages into a journey. In chapter 3, in order to cross a giant life-sized chess board (UH HMMMM UNCANNY!) she takes a train. 

“There she forgets all nouns, including her own name. With the help of a fawn who has also forgotten his identity, she makes it to the other side, where they both remember everything. Realizing that he is a fawn, she is a human, and that fawns are afraid of humans, it runs off (to Alice's frustration).”

Source: Through the Looking-glass (wikipedia)

[going through the book itself would have been too long]

The train might symbolize the course of life, or a part of it, in which an identity crisis occurs for Alice and question what is and what does it means. I’ll even say that this temporary memory loss put aside all differences and precedences, perhaps reflecting a class hierarchy, between Alice the human and the fawn, or the rich lady and the poor.

Back to Matrix.

Later in the movie, our programmer encounters a woman called the Oracle. She can see some events according to her grasp on human psychology, but never beyond a choice that she cannot understand, not even hers. The Oracle isn’t here to predict the future (even if she can), but to assist and guide those who picked the red pill. She does sound like a Seer of Mind :]

Upon meeting her, she asks him “do you think you are the one?” to what he respond “honestly I don’t know”. She then point behind him, toward a mantra hanged above the threshold: Temet nosce, which means “know thyself”.

The introspection will continue through all three movies, a wild tango between certitude and doubts, self that leads to a choice, from a choice which leads to who he is, the two are intertwined and indivisible.

In Matrix: Revolution (third movie), the final battle between our protagonist and his alter ego take place. Rain is pouring, thousand and thousand of copies looking down at him, the sky is dark, and Agent Smith step away from the crowd, so the fight begins.

Remember the paragraph about the lightning? The sky in this scene is quite reminiscent to Terezi Land’s electric atmosphere, and even more Dirk’s, has his planet is covered be countless empty green buildings in ruins.

The scene portraits perfectly the confrontation between order and chaos, good and evil, selfless and selfish. I could go on and on but I think y’all got the concept, and I nicely fill an even bigger word quota, with the two aspects balanced.

Source for the screenshots: Fancaps.net, here and here

Mind-bound recommended Lyricstuck: Dog days are over by Florence and the Machine

#Homestuck Universe #HS theory #SBURB aspects #heart aspect #mind aspect #analysis #nepeta leijon #dirk strider #meulin leijon #matrix series #movies #through the looking glass #and what alice found there #book #neo #morpheus #trinity #the oracle

[kutemouse]

Never Really Over

Disclaimers: I made and edited the above gif myself. That’s why I’ve used the tag #btsgif. Feel free to use, just please give me credit for the edit! I used some of the lines from Katy Perry’s lyrics to inspire and write this, but they belong to Katy.

So this imagine was inspired by the Katy Perry song “Never Really Over,” which, when I heard it for the first time, reminded me of the way my bias works. Yes, I am a Taehyung bias, but every two weeks or so, one of the other members of BTS wrecks me, and I mean WRECKS me to the point where I think, “This is it. This is when I change my bias.” But then Taehyung does something or posts a picture, and I instantly zip right back to him. I’ve been this way since I started stanning BTS, idk why, low-key, I think I’m secretly an OT7 fan.

Age Recommendation: 16+

Warnings: Sweeeeaaaaars (like always), ANGST with a happy ending, Taehyung being a sweetie-pie, no smut, might make a part two with smut idk, honestly, I hope this makes you laugh more than anything.

Word Count: 2,187

Summary: It had been two years since you broke up with Taehyung, and you were finally at the point where he stopped randomly popping into your head. But that didn’t stop him from randomly popping up on your social media, wrecking you into oblivion, and making you do stupid things.

Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ

Oh no. Not again. I’m not falling into this rabbit hole again, not today, not ever. I promised myself I wouldn’t do this again, that I’d draw the line and never think of you again, and I did. Or so I thought.

I tentatively scrolled down my feed back to the video of you singing your heart out to a sea of adoring fans, feeling a twinge in my chest as your voice reverberated throughout the stadium. How I missed that deep rumble, the one that drew me out of sleep each morning with a chuckle and a kiss.

Shaking my head, I attempted to push all thoughts of you out of my head. I didn’t miss you. I didn’t miss anything about you, no-siree, I was over you. Ugh, who was I kidding? I couldn’t even go on the internet without seeing you. I was losing it.

“Fuck this,” I thought, standing up from the bench and heading towards my favorite cafe. The bell over the door tinkled, bringing a memory to the forefront of my mind.

We sat in the booth in the far corner so we could have as much privacy as the cafe would allow. “It’s happening, jagiya,” he murmured, taking my hand. “I’m going on tour. I won’t be back for nearly a year.”

“I know,” I muttered in reply, looking down at my lap. I couldn’t be angry, hell, I couldn’t even be sad. We both knew this was coming. Ever since BTS’s popularity shot through the roof, he’s been getting more and more busy, constantly at practice, song-writing, or travelling.

“Hey, we can make this work,” he said, his voice soothing over the pain I was beginning to feel. “I’ll always come back to you, jagi.”

He reached over and grasped my cup, taking a sip from it before squinching his eyes up cutely. I laughed and playfully grabbed for it back. “Hey, that’s mine!”

“I don’t even know how you can drink this,” he said, still grimacing. “Coffee is so bitter.”

“It’s an acquired taste,” I said, giggling.

“Miss?”

A voice brought me back to reality, and I blinked a couple times before looking at the barista. “I’m sorry, what did you say?” I asked.

She gave me an amused smile. “I asked what you’d like to order.”

“Oh, uh… Hmmm, an iced Americano for today, thanks.”

“You got it. I’ll have it ready in a moment.”

“Thank you.”

I paid then sat down in a booth to wait, fiddling with my phone. My finger touched the fingerprint pad, powering on my screen to show that video once more. Cursing, I closed the app and jammed the thing back into my pocket.

“Miss? Your Americano is ready.”

I stood and took the cup from the girl, walking quickly back outside and sitting down on the bench again. I just couldn’t escape you. It’s like no matter what I did, you were there. You were always there… and not just because your face covered the internet the way clouds covered the earth. You were always in the back of my mind.

I felt my self-control slowly trickling away as I drew my phone out of my pocket, clicked it on, and opened a new message, typing in your name as the recipient. I never deleted your number, scared of breaking the last possible tie I had to you.

Ugh, no, stop. It’s done. It’s been done for two years now. I left my phone in my lap, trying and failing to concentrate on drinking my coffee instead. We parted amicably, with both of us acknowledging that our relationship was over due to you not being able to be the boyfriend I needed. Still, for weeks after we separated, I couldn’t help jumping every time someone knocked at my door, thinking it was you, or stopping guys on the street who even slightly resembled you. That had all faded away, though, so why were my nerves on fire once more?

Our relationship was terrible, or at least it was towards the end. You were constantly gone, and didn’t have time to call or video-chat me. You had to send me text messages on the down-low, scared your company would find out about us and force us apart, or that delulu fangirls would find out about me and come after me. We only spent time together twice in the last six months of our relationship, and I was beginning to get sick of explaining to my friends and interested guys why I was unavailable to date. The second time I saw you, you came over to my apartment wearing a mask, sunglasses, and a baseball cap.

“Sorry,” he said apologetically as he shed his disguise. “I had to circle the block a couple times… make sure I wasn’t followed.”

I threw my hands up. “This is insane!”

“What is?”

“This! This relationship! Taehyung, I can’t do this anymore. This isn’t normal!”

His mouth dropped open at my proclamation. “Are you serious?”

“I don’t think I’ve ever been more serious,” I muttered, crossing my arms over my chest and turning away.

Taehyung grasped my arms with his large, soft hands. “Please,” he said, his voice cracking. “Let’s just talk about this.”

And talk we did. For hours. And we both came to the same conclusion: That our relationship was no longer working and in order for us to both be happy, we needed to let each other go. I reached up and touched my lips, remember the way you kissed me for the last time. Hard and deep, with both large hands on either side of my face, you kissed me until my heart broke cleanly in two.

Yet, even after all the pain I went through, I was surprised to find myself missing you even weeks after our break-up. Yeah, we were a mess, but it was the best mess I’d ever been in. By the time I figured out that life with you in it, as seldom as that actually was, was still better than life without you entirely, it was too late. You had moved on, and were becoming one of the biggest names in k-pop, no, in the world, ever. I had moved on, too… or so I thought.

Sure, I dated other guys. I even had a relationship that lasted a good six months… but none of it ever felt right. I broke up with the guy after he hinted he wanted to move in together, realizing it would never feel right no matter how much I tried to force it.

I pulled my phone out of my pocket and clicked it open, staring at your name at the top of the text. What would happen if I just sent a simple, “Hey?” I let myself indulge in my imagination, thinking about the way you’d ecstatically respond, instantly sparking a conversation and lighting up my deadened heart. After a few days of texting, you’d ask to video chat, and I’d see the face that cracked my heart and soul into pieces, but this time, you were intent on mending all that. You’d come over just like old times, and we’d spend night after night together, intertwined so close we practically become one… But then you’ll leave. Again. Work will call, or your manager, or one of the other members, and you’ll leave spouting useless apologies and empty promises. Then I’ll have to get over you again.

Draw the line, I told myself. Draw it. No more. Yet even as I was thinking it, the side of me that missed you put a toe over that line, inching towards completely diving headfirst into the shit show I knew we’d forever be.

I opened the social media app again and watched that video of you singing for the third time. “Fuck it,” I thought, switching back to my messaging app and typing out a message.

Me: Hey. Just caught myself thinking about you and wondered how you’ve been. I miss you.

I stared at it for a good thirty seconds, my thumb hovering over the send button the entire time. I squeezed my eyes shut and pressed down, slowly opening them to see the circle going ‘round and ‘round, trying to send.

Wait, no. I couldn’t do this. I couldn’t trip up after two whole years. I frantically tapped on the message, trying to delete it, but then the dreaded check mark appeared. Sent.

“Fuck!” I cried out, startling the closest passerby.

“Sorry,” I muttered, looking down at my lap, my cheeks flooding with warmth. How the hell had you trickled back in? I drew that line, I did, I did, but now I’d tripped up. I sipped from my coffee cup, keeping my eyes on my phone screen the entire time. Nothing. You were probably busy. Hell, you’d probably changed your number for all I knew.

With that thought comforting me, I threw my cup into the nearest recycling bin and began the five-minute trek back to my apartment. I spent the rest of the day distracting myself with studying, my fingers hovering over my phone every now and then, tempted to check it. At around the same time the sun was going down, my phone finally beeped and I snatched it up.

Damn. It was just my classmate asking a question about the essay we were assigned. I rolled my eyes and chucked my phone somewhere on the floor before flopping backwards on my bed. It was over. Has been for quite some time. I didn’t know why I expected anything more.

My phone beeped again, and I sat up so fast I made myself dizzy. It beeped again, and I yeeted myself off the bed and frantically began searching through the ocean of clothes that littered my floor. Shit, where did that damn thing go? I hadn’t chucked it that far, had I?

I dug through the random piles of my belongings, making even more of a mess as I hunted my phone down. It started ringing, and I whirled around at the sound, seeing my screen shine through a random tank top. I stumbled towards it, hands outstretched, and grabbed at it, the phone slipping through my hands like soap and falling back to the floor.

“FUCK!” I yelled out just before a knock at my door made me whip my head around.

Leaving the damn phone, I stumbled out of my bedroom and towards my front door, taking a second to run a hand through my curls in an attempt to smooth them down, before I whipped open the door.

My mouth dropped open in a gasp, eyes widening as I took you in, one hand still holding the phone to your ear, the other shoved sheepishly in your jean pocket. “Hi,” was all you said. Mouth still open like a gaping fish, I wordlessly stepped aside to let you in.

Closing the door behind you, I finally managed to get some words out. “How… Wait, why…?”

You chuckled, the buttery-smooth deep bass of your voice causing tingles to break out all over my body. “I got your text, Y/n.”

“Wait, was that… that was you calling?” I asked, my voice coming out strained. “Sorry I didn’t pick up, I was-”

“It’s fine,” you said, waving my apology off. “I know you’re probably busy… and honestly, I don’t know why I’m here other than the fact that I…”

You trailed off, and I swallowed, anticipating the dreaded words. You were here because you needed to remind me that we were done. That there was nothing between us anymore. That you had a girlfriend.

“That I… Well, that I miss you too.”

For the second time that evening, my mouth dropped open. “You what?” I squeaked.

You chuckled once more, but this time, you had a trace of uneasiness in your chocolate-brown eyes. “I miss you, you dork.”

I didn’t bother trying to speak anymore, I just acted. I rushed towards you, grabbing both of your cheeks, and kissed you with everything I had. You grunted in surprise before grabbing me by the waist, steadying both of our stances, and moving your lips around mine, fully kissing me back. The second we separated, you drew me back in, even going so far as to swipe a mischievous tongue over my bottom lip, causing me to groan in pleasure.

We finally pulled apart, panting a little, your eyes bright, a wide smile on your face. “It’s been two whole years, though,” I said.

“Yeah, and the entire time, I haven’t been able to get you out of my mind,” you murmured, peppering light kisses along my cheek. “I won’t let you get away this time.”

I sighed and curled up against your chest, once again falling hard for the way my head seemed to fit perfectly in the crook of your neck, and the way your hands seemed to meld with my love handles. It was like we were made for each other.

Well then. I thought we were done, but I guess it’s never really over, is it?

#bts #btsimagine #btsfanfic #btsgif #btsff #btsfanfiction #taehyungimagine #taehyungff #taehyungfanfic #btsimagines #kimtaehyung #taehyung #btstaehyung #btsv #btstae #btskth #kth #tae #angst #taehyungangst #fluff #taehyungfluff #angstimagine #fluffimagine #taehyungxreader #taehyungxyn #possiblebtssmut #possiblesmut #katyperry #neverreallyover

[littledemondani]

broken promises | michael langdon x fem!reader

Warnings: hawthorne!michael, witch!reader, daddy kink, s m u t (unprotected, rough), oral (female receiving), orgasm denial, slight edging, cum eating

Word Count: 2.4K

Summary: Michael makes up for breaking a promise to you, in more ways than just one.

A/N: Hey lovelies, so this fic was supposed to be a Michael x Dark!Reader, but that quickly changed after rewriting the beginning. There’s not really much plot to this at all, just some self-indulgent smut. I hope you guys enjoy it <3 xoxo

(gif: @codyfernsource)

You had been waiting for what felt like hours for your boyfriend, Michael Langdon, to meet you in your dorm room. “I’ll be there as soon as class ends at 3, and don’t get any ideas of touching yourself before I get there.” With a nod of your head and a sweet, “I promise I won’t.” You agreed to obey his one rule. The time was now 3:35pm and Michael was nowhere to be found. Just great.

Annoyed as all hell, you call him, ready to give him an earful of how pissed off and irritated you were. There were only a handful of things that could upset you, and not being punctual was one of them, and Michael knew this. The phone rang and rang then went to his voicemail. Beyond frustrated you hung up and threw your phone on the bed with a huff.

Your mind starts to wander and think maybe he got held up by Behold, that man did like to talk someone’s ear off. Or maybe he went to his room to grab some items (anal plug, vibrator, handcuffs) for the promise he made to you earlier.

Earlier that morning you had walked into your first class wearing a short red plaid skirt, a black fitted button-up with the sleeves rolled to your elbows (and unbuttoned to show off a little cleavage), fishnet stockings, and black Doc Martens. Michael tried to ignore the stares the other warlocks gave you (while also trying to hide his growing erection). It’s not that Michael didn’t like you wearing outfits like that, it was more so the attention you got when you did. The unwanted attention from the warlocks who cat-called and undressed your body with their eyes.

Michael could hear their thoughts, could hear how they wanted to get between your legs, have you on your knees for them, cover you in their cum, make you scream out their name. It sickened him, made him want to slaughter every one of them and erase their souls from this world. You were more than just the “hot bitch with a nice ass” and it took Michael a while to figure that out.

(Before you started dating, you and Michael were frenemies with benefits. You both openly showed your distaste for one another, him telling you the only thing you were good for was being on your knees with his cock in your mouth, and you saying his ego was bigger than his dick. Yet behind closed doors, you both screamed sang praises to each other.)

When class was over Michael waited until everyone had cleared from the hallway to push you up against the wall, placing both hands on each side of your face and putting his knee between your legs. “You think you can come to class looking like that and not expect it to have some effect on me?” He rolled his hips into you, letting you feel how hard he had gotten from just looking at you.

You looked up at him with big doe eyes, feigning innocence that you didn’t know it would have any effect on him (but you knew damn well it would, and you hoped he would react this way). “See that’s where I know you’re lying, Y/N.” He bounced his thigh up hard, catching you off guard and making you yelp. “Did you forget that I know every thought that crosses that pretty little head of yours?” He taunts, brushing a stray strand of your hair away from your face.

You tried to control your breathing, tried to keep from grinding your hips down onto his leg, but Michael's close proximity and the scent of his cologne were driving you crazy. “Answer me, Y/N, don’t make me ask you again.” His voice is stern, bringing one hand to tilt your chin up to look at him, quirking his eyebrow.

“I- I knew what it would do,” you confessed shakily. “I want you so bad, Daddy.” 

A sly grin spread across Michael's face. “Awww angel, you know all you have to do is ask if you want Daddy’s cock. But it looks like now you’re gonna have to wait until classes are done for the day.” You let out a needy whine, and shamelessly grind down on his thigh. “Pleease Daddy, I need you noowww.”

“Go to your room after your last class is over. I’ll be there as soon as class ends at 3, and don’t get any ideas about touching yourself before I get there. You won’t be able to walk once I’m done with you, and that’s a promise.”

Finally getting fed up with waiting, you swing your door open and take off to go look for him. You head in the direction of his room, hoping that he would be in there or you were literally going to strangle him. 

Rounding the corner of the hallway you hear Madison’s laugh echoing loud, your eyes automatically rolling into the back of your head. Everything was great while she was still in hell, then Michael brought her back just to prove a point to Cordelia and she was back to being the same annoying bitch you remembered. 

She finally comes into view, but you quickly realize that she’s not alone - in fact, your loving boyfriend is there with her; with his back up against the wall and her dainty hand on his chest, giving him her best bedroom eyes. Your nostrils flare and your lip curls, this fucking bitch has the audacity to hit on your boyfriend when she knows you’re together? Not today, Satan.

You march up behind her and yank her away from Michael by her hair, practically dragging her on the floor. “Let me go, you crazy bitch!” She tries to get out of your grip but you tighten it. You throw her onto the floor, placing your foot on her neck. “Stay away from Michael or I’ll slice your goddamn throat,” you seethe. She chokes out what you think is a, “okay okay I will fuck!”

“You better, bitch.” You take your foot off and walk back to Michael. You’re about to give him a piece of your mind when he cuts you off and explains what happened: that she stopped him on his way to your room and refused to let him leave until she got what she wanted (to blow him or something?)

Of course, she would, but you’re still pissed that he left you waiting for over 30 minutes (and you weren’t going to let him get away with that). “Well Langdon, it looks like you have some apologizing to do,” you smirk, grabbing him by his maroon tie, and pulling him back to your room.

//

You’re laying down on your back, head propped up on your pillows, legs spread wide, with Michael's pink, plump lips attached to your clit. This was his idea of apologizing and you were in no way complaining. He had already pulled 2 orgasms out of you and was currently going for a third.

He softly sucked on your swollen clit, knowing you are still sensitive from the first two times you came. Small whimpers leave your spit slick lips, bottom lip puffy from biting down on it. Michael parts your lips, bringing a finger to play with your juices. “Fuck,” he murmurs. “You’re so fucking wet for me baby.”

“Mm, Michael..please,” desperation laced in your voice.

“Oh my sweet angel, you take what I give you or you don’t get anything at all. Do you understand?” He cooed. You whine in defeat, the last thing you want is Michael to leave you a soaked, unsatisfied mess. “Yes Daddy, I understand.” 

“Good girl.” He continued licking stripes up your dripping pussy, lapping at your arousal as it seeped from your entrance. His cock is hard and aching in his boxers, begging to be released from its confines. He tries to ignore it as he flicks his tongue around your clit, tries to focus on the pretty sounds coming from your mouth. You’re so close, he can sense it, can feel it in the way your moans get louder and higher, how you pull him closer to you by his messy blonde hair, how you start bucking your hips against his face, how your walls contract around his fingers.

You’re right on the edge, so close to having that blissful sensation pass in waves through your body when Michael pulls away. A sob escapes your lips, your fists bunching up the sheets, tears threatening to spill from your eyes. You lift your head to see why he denied you that sweet euphoria.

He’s taking off the remainder of his clothing, pushing his boxers down his legs and tossing them somewhere on the floor. He needs to be inside you, needs to feel the warmth of your cunt surrounding his aching cock.

“W-what was that for?!”

He grabs his neglected cock by the base, hissing at the touch. “I want to feel you cumming on my cock,” he grunts as he flips you over on your stomach and hoists your ass in the air. 

You let out a surprised yelp, bracing your hands on either side of your face. He runs the tip through your wet folds, “Are you ready for me?” 

“Mhmm,” you nod.

He runs the head over your clit one last time, before slamming himself inside of you, without letting you get adjusted to his size. You let out a strangled scream, the feel of your walls stretching causes a burning sting. He pulls his cock all the way out, leaving just the tip in before slamming himself back inside you.

As painful as it feels, you fucking love the way Michael's cock makes you feel so deliciously full. No matter how many times you fuck it always feels like the first time all over again. 

He stops fucking into you, placing his hands on your hips and digging his fingers into your skin. He pushes you forward on his cock then slams you back onto him. He does this a few times before you lift your chest off the mattress and try to do it yourself.

“Go ahead angel, fuck yourself on Daddy’s cock.” he bites his bottom lip.

You place your elbows on the mattress and start bouncing your ass, practically twerking on his cock. “Oh fuck,” Michael gasps, running a hand over your ass before spanking you hard.

He takes back control, gripping your hips harshly and snapping his hips into you. Your whole body feels like it’s fire, you can hear the blood rushing in your ears, can feel a new wave of arousal dripping from your pussy, down your thighs, and onto the mattress. Your moans turn to screams when Michael grabs you by your hair and pulls you up flush against his chest, the tip of his cock hitting your sweet spot with this new angle.

Michael feels your walls starting to flutter around him, wrapping a hand around your throat. “Don’t fucking cum yet. Not until I tell you to,” he growls into your ear. 

“Daddy I-I don’t think I can wait,” you mewled, your body still on the edge from earlier. 

“You can, and you will,” he said sternly. “You don’t want to upset Daddy now, do you angel?” 

“No no no.” You frantically shake your head, desperate to focus on anything else to keep your orgasm at bay. Michael chuckles darkly, reaching a hard around you to circle at your clit.

‘This fucking asshole,’ you think to yourself. Michael was always one to tease you, to force you into disobeying him when he tells you to do something, he loves it - loves to break people’s wills. You bite down hard on your lower lip until you taste blood, trying to focus on the pain and metallic taste.

But Michael is close, you can tell when his thrusts start getting sloppy when he loses the grip on your throat. He won’t tell you to cum, not just yet, not until he can no longer hold back his own orgasm.

You’re brought back to the present by a sharp tug on your hair. Michael is grunting in your ear, the sweet sounds going straight to your throbbing pussy. Your walls clench around him again, but this time Michael pushes you down onto the bed and pounds into you with no mercy.

You grab a fistful of the sheets in your hands, squeezing until your knuckles turn white. Every nerve ending is on fire and it feels like you can’t breathe. You need to cum so bad it hurts, but you won’t dare disobey Michael.

He can’t hold back anymore, his thrusts losing complete rhythm. “Cum angel, cum all over Daddy’s cock.”

The tightened band in your lower abdomen breaks and you cum with a loud choked out sob. Your vision goes black as the pleasure ripples throughout your body, your hearing going fuzzy. The feeling of your cunt wildly pulsing around Michael's cock sends him over the edge, painting your walls with hot ropes of cum.

He stills for a moment, trying to catch his breath. Looking down to where you’re still connected, he brings his fingers to catch a mixture of your cum that’s leaking out of your pussy. He places his fingers in front of your lips which you happily wrap around him. You moan at the taste, sucking and licking his fingers clean. 

His cock twitches at the sight of you, “That's my good girl, suck everything off babygirl.” 

He removed his fingers from your mouth with a wet ‘pop’ sound. Slowly he pulls out of you and lays down next to you. You both stay that way for who knows how long. When your breathing finally returns to normal you try to get off the bed. Your legs shake beneath you, causing you to fall back down on the bed.

Michael laughs as he watches you try and fail, yet again, to get up.

“What?” You snap at him.

He looks at you for a moment, debating if he should even say anything.

“I told you you wouldn’t be able to walk when I was done with you, and I always keep my promises, babe.”

//

tagging:  @fckinsupreme @avesatanormalpeoplescareme @wroteclassicaly @ms-mead @lovelylangdonx @hecohansen31 @mega-combusken @1-800-bitchcraft @dvncans @lvngdvns @lathraios @goddess-of-inferno @langdonsdemon @venusxxlangdon @snixxvalo99 @rocketgirl2410

#michael langdon x reader #michael langdon smut #michael langdon #hawthorne!michael #dani's writing

[brolinjosh]

endgame review

i’ve waited 24 hours for my endgame feels to sink in. spoilers and strong opinions are under the cut.

first i need to start with the parts that i loved and that made the movie stand out and be memorable and parts that i immensely enjoyed:

- tony and nebula’s friendship and nebula’s arc later. she finally stopped being self destructive, lost the desire to please thanos and stood up for herself. she made a strong bond with gamora and even in the past, that bond stood out and it was beautiful. she got more screen time and stopped being just a weapon. got to play games, got to be appreciated for more than a good warrior. joked with people and made good friendships.

- tony telling steve off. tony stan here, but unbiased opinion is that him and steve had a falling out. steve stayed on earth and tony ended up stranded on an alien planet and nearly died. he is a non powered man and only had his armor and got stabbed by thanos and he has never felt more alone than when oxygen was slowly running out on him and nebula. he should have argued and called him out on them sticking together, and he had every right to do so.

- whole time travel thing. it was nostalgic, i am really glad they connected this, as last movie, to the previous ones. thor getting his moment with frigga, tony commenting on shape of steve’s ass, loki disappearing with tesseract, little things like that. they gave movie depth and not just thanos aftermath. 

- steve had some show stopping scenes. telling himself he could do this all day and being tired of himself bc he knows how big of a pain in the ass he can be in the battle?? hell yes thank you. steve wielding mjolnir?? legit had me cheering, wig snatched. 

- i genuinely liked thor’s arc. he lost everyone he had ever cared about, it was normal for him to be depressed and angry and that he had given up. i am glad rocket snapped him out of it because it gave rocket depth and we saw how deeply he connected to all of them and decided not to be an asshole and be kinder to people that surround him. it showed another part of them being a family and how even characters we never thought would love each other this way, ended up with an unbreakable bond that is more than just a team work.

- more screen time for underappreciated amazing characters, james rhodes, scott lang, clint barton. more of their interactions and showing how funny and smart they are??? they had my heart.

- i LOVED professor hulk. mark ruffalo finally got more screen time and it showed how smart bruce really is and that he is not just some likable guy who is intelligent, but not as much as other scientists (like scenes with shuri in infinity war that i loved because of shuri, but in past movies they downplayed his intellect a bit). i loved how he was more confident and at peace with himself.

- thanos!!! thanos remained a formidable villain and his arc was still the best villain arc in mcu. he is not easy to take on , he is a threat and he gave movie and everything that happened a meaning.

- best mcu scene to this day - strange opening portals and people passing through, ready to slay enemies. all united, all fighting together, all boosting and helping each other out in this final battle that we waited for 10 years??? literally killed every other movie battle ever. they have outdone themselves.

- peter seeing tony and talking about soul stone world, not realizing that everything was done for him and out of love for this amazing boy?? beautiful.

- TONY FUCKING STARK WIELDING INFINITY GAUNTLET. YES. had me yell at the screen, it was showstopping. my favorite scene ever in movie history. mere mortal taking on the fate of the world and killing every bad creature and smiting thanos himself. CONTENT I LIVE FOR.

- valkyrie a king??? hell yes, she deserved it. no one more than her. 

now, things that ruined the movie for me and that i do not think i will easily accept or forgive:

- i understand that in the end, since natasha and clint went to vormir, in the end had me desiring that she would be the one to give up, since he has a family. but it’s not supposed to be that way. natasha seemed out of character the whole time. she was way more emotional, i partially understand because she lost everything and it has affected her more than anything ever. but it was bad writing. woman dying for shock value and to effect men??? why. she just started expressing herself and letting know people she loves them and really connected and bonded with them and have her go like that? as a sacrifice? uncalled for.

- pepper’s arc bugged me the whole time. woman who was there from the beginning to call tony out on his shit, also was a woman who stopped him from doing reckless things. she was always the one who kept arguing with him, literally in every movie, over his desire to save the world and to protect them. he told her he found a way to bring everyone back, but one word from her (something she was terrific at), and he would ditch it and stay with their family. and this is the first time she encouraged him to do something so reckless and it was poor overshadowing of his death and insanely out of character for her. she knew how it would end and she kept saving him from himself, because he was always terrified of losing her and in a way that stopped him from doing what he did years ago. they had a family and in the end . her showing up in an armor had me in tears, because that’s my gal, but also that is incredibly reckless and like she didn’t think things through in 2-3 scenes she had in the movie?? 

- i’m in it for tony. naturally i am upset. but not because he died, but because of HOW he died. naturally gauntlet took a toil on him. his body was combusting. it was devastating. what killed me was that pepper, love of his life, approached him and seemed like she had kind of a bad day. asked for his vitals and when told he is dying, she shed a tear and told him that he could rest. it blew my mind that she did not crumble in front of him, no “ i love you” nothing that would be her last words to him that showed him that he meant the world. he knew that, but would have been nice to have something like that. ALSO, him not being able to speak??? BEYOND OUTRAGED. no actual goodbyes, no him saying anything to the avengers, just lying like he had a stroke. the best character with the most complicated arc in the entire marvel universe and did something unimaginable and to have him just fall and not say goodbye or how he feels, or is he afraid of dying or what is happening to him??? “ i am iron man” is a great line for taking on thanos, but as last words while he is alive, unsatisfying and writing for shock value. peter crying, hugging him, apologizing , that was beautiful. everyone who he had just given his life for just standing aside, looking at him, shedding one tear???? steve? STEVE ROGERS???? JAMES RHODES??? no goodbyes between best friends, no them being wrecked and having breakdowns??? really?

- steve’s ending. it was the most out of character thing russos have ever done. they became famous for taking on characters in their own ways, but steve, person who had such strong relationships with tony, bucky and sam, leaving bucky and sam for a selfish cause of going back in time to a woman who already had a fulfilling life and found a way to live without him?? who had a husband and family? who was accomplished and her heartbreak over losing steve gave her depth and she got out stronger than ever. and he just went back and her whole history and family was erased for it, because he loved her and they shared one kiss a lifetime ago? steve going back to do this and not free bucky from hydra or help his best friend out, a man who he started civil war over and fought government for, steve leaving bucky and sam, people who have been with him through thick and thin, going back to indulge himself, thinking he cannot be happy in present, not thinking about two people who have to now live on without him? bucky who never got a decent time with him after ca:tfa, who’s life has been nothing but a shitstorm, now having to live without his best friend and only person that felt like a home? insanity. steve rogers, the most self-sacrificial, stubborn little shit, who gave enemies hell for people he cared about, leaving people behind? never. 

in conclusion, for me movie did nothing but upset me, because i have invested 10 years into this, countless hours of writing meta and giffing scenes that went unnoticed, loving these characters, pouring my heart and soul and time into this, and for them to kill off people for shock value, natasha and tony, to have them fuck up steve’s arc beyond words, to end relationships or to make them meaningless.... they did pay an omage to previous movies, but not characters  and how they were previously portrayed. tony, man who started mcu, should not die for us to be miserable bastards after spending so much time in this universe, he should have gotten to live a happy life with the family he had just started. 

in the end, if anyone had to die, for me it was supposed to be both steve and tony, in a battle, bloody with glorious goodbyes, their last battle, showing each other how they would lay their lives so the other one lives, sacrificing for each other, but have both biggest characters die gloriously, not one like he had a stroke and second one grow old and selfish, abandoning his friends and family.

in the end, i did not like the movie. first marvel movie to this day that i didn’t like, because it was first that erased so many good things. 

#SPOILERS ARE UNDER THE CUT #usercherie #starksnstripes #scarlett-witches #review #avengers: endgame #endgame #ae #ae spoilers

[dunamanticarchivist]

Critical Role Talks Machina C2E26

It’s been a while since we’ve seen more than 2 guests on Talks, so this should be hypeeeee. Alright guests do your stuff and save our hearts. 

Nice teddy bear for Ashly to comfort and shield her from teh haterz

Good stats from Critrolestats, lotta Nat 20s

Ashly is just so adorable

Brian doing a great job easing us into the discussion. Like legit Mr Cabbagehead

Taliesin plz stahp im dying

OHshitshitshit theres no backup character “You’ve got 3 days to get your shit together”

Matt was basically throwing hints and the M9 went NAH WE GOT THIS WE’RE BASICALLY GODS

So Ashly made the best of a worst situation?

HA called it Keg is a coward

YES give Tal the teddy

That gif of the week! SUBMIT

Goth executive initiating babygothmercer into the rites of gothicism

DROPPED THE BABY 

Well, fuck you too NO FEAR NO PANIC NO REGRETS

OH BOY Ashly is coming on for 3 more sessions!

Well that puts an end to the lingering soul theory

Taliesin is going to murder another stereotype I can feel it

EVERYBODY GETS A MOLLYMAUK IN THEIR GAME

Dani cam has been a great addition to Talks

Mollymauk -> Chaotic Super Good, also I’m crying

“Lighten up, join the circus” 

DONT STOP THE COSPLAY

Everybody is getting red-eyed and sniffly *weeps for the fallen*

I wonder how the Nein are going to continue getting along with Keg after seeing her bail like that

-------After dark--------

Very appropriately mournful music

*sobs* everybody needs to start prepping backup characters

lordhasnomercy

MAW *starts praying*

Awww shit Lorenzo needs to start praying cos Yasha is coming for ya

Rage barbarian -> DM’s worst nightmare

Good knife reaction: laugh manically, also Brian stop with the knife jokes im dying over here

Wait Taliesin isn’t guaranteed back in Thursday?? Oh god or is this just another Matt mind trick?

This was a pretty self indulgent post, just mostly so I dont curl up crying over a fictional character death. IS IT THURSDAY YET??

#critical role spoilers #talks machina

[stardustmovement]

I HEAR YOU'RE ACCEPTING ASKS (Strong power thank you) IF SOOOOOOOO How would all of the second year Starmyu boys be like as Kpop idols?

STRONG POWER THANK YOU TO YOU TOO BEAUTIFUL PERSON

Thank you for sending in the ask~ AND YES I HAVE BEEN WAITING TO ANSWER THIS SO BAD. Take note, the use of “rude” and “disrespectful” is a term for most Kpop fans to relate when the idol does something sexily provoking. 

So here’s a list of what I think:

Hoshitani YutaThe boy is more of a main dancer if you ask me, but he’s a singer with a unique voice that’s always recognizable no matter what even if he’s lacking of lines. The mood maker of the group and the clumsy one off-stage, but is a very charismatic and energetic DISRESPECFUL AS HECK dancer with sharp movements on-stage. Ocassionally raps in some songs. IS A GODDAMN HAPPY GOOFBALL WHO BEFRIENDS EVERYONE–

Nayuki Toru

A PRECIOUS SMOL. Nayuki’s fluffy appearance and soft features makes him one of the more stunning visuals of the group, plus Ono Kensho’s cuter voice suits him so much! He would be one of the vocalists, with a good range from soft and sweet to a harder tone of voice. The mom of the group who takes care and cooks for his members. THE FLUFFIEST HUMAN ALIVE, PERIOD. Also A SECRETLY SAVAGE SMOL–

Tengenji Kakeru

He may not look it (or does he–), but Tengenji is a rapper. Oh yes, our kabuki king is the kind of rapper who hypes up the song to give it momentum. HAS THE MOST BEAUTIFUL RICH SINGING VOICE FITE ME and is the type to be the center of a lot of songs. And can we talk about his VISUALS? Out of the world. Is the dorkiest fluffball off-stage, but his on-stage persona is the danger zone if you know what I mean WELP–

Tsukigami Kaito

My best boy right here is a main dancer, hands down. Like, HAVE YOU SEEN HOW FLEXIBLE HE IS IN THE ANIME? Kaito is also the type to participate in making choreography and song composing, mostly choreo but still contributes a lot to composing. A vocalist who can sing complex ranges no problem, overall an all-rounder. Also the sassy member of the group and laughs at lame jokes. A PART OF MANY SHIPS.

Kuga Shuu

Definitely a rapper, a lead rapper at that. A rapper who raps from his heart with passion. Owns a notebook containing rap lyric drafts. Kuga also has a distinctive voice that stands out no matter what AND A DEEPASS VOICE AT THAT WOWIE– Very much like his anime self, Kuga is the quiet member of the group who’s usually in his own world (and the center of emo memes ahem–) but IS SOFT FOR HIS MEMBERS. Also has a soothing singing voice (auditioned to be a vocalist before he became a rapper).

Tatsumi Rui

The beauty and grace of the group, a.k.a VISUAL PRINCE. A graceful lead dancer whose movements are ABSOLUTELY magical, almost like a ballerina but not at the same time (am I making sense? Nope–). Has a voice of a LITERAL ANGEL. Those who were graced with Tatsumi Rui’s presence are said to have died peacefully to his shining beauty, but there are those who lived and survived THIS DISRESPECTFUL ordeal to tell this story (that’s me). HOWEVER, when the situation calls for it, this mofo can flip his switch if yanno what I mean *wink wonk*

Sawatari Eigo

If “elegance” was a person, it would be Sawatari Eigo. Believe it or not, THIS BOY IS A MAIN VOCALIST. MAIN. VOCALIST. A tenor, has the best vocals in regards to technique but he tends to hold back a lot due to not wanting to overpower his own members (mainly Tatsumi). HIGH NOTE KING and participates a lot in lyrics. Looks and dresses like he’s going to meet your parents, but is actually very adventurous and indulges in good humor, making terrible puns (which Kaito actually laughs at). Also WHERE ARE THE GODDAMN EIGO GIFS–

Ugawa Akira

He’s smol and cute but is an angery smol who can kick your ass when provoked (Tengenji watch your ass–). Ugawa is surprisingly an all-rounder who is mainly a lead vocalist with a nice timbre, kinda calm and jazzy. A TALENTED SMOL who does most of the composing and lyric writing and LOVES HIS JOB IT MAKES HIM FEEL IMPORTANT. Maintains a cute and sassy image on-stage but is A STRAIGHT-OUT SAVAGE off-stage, Will beat up his members with a guitar if he needs to and tag teams ocassionally with Nayuki.

Toraishi Izumi

HO BOI. WHERE DO I EVEN START. First things first, Toraishi is the main rapper of he group with a very versatile flow which he made his own. Inserts quite A LOT of English (or Gibberish) in his raps, mainly just to sound cool (which actually works). Like all the rappers in the group, he owns a rap lyrics notebook AND HE SLEEPS WITH IT AWWWW– His on-stage persona is a confident and fiery rapper whose “fans are his girlfriends”, but off-stage HE’S SOFT AND EMOTIONAL AND CRIES EASILY WHAT A PRECIOUS DORK–

Inumine Seishirou

Practically useless in everyday situations like his anime self, but DAMN BOI HE’S THE ULTIMATE PERFORMER. Is mainly a dancer but he raps and sings AND CAN EVEN ACT WHAT IS INUMINE EVEN– so basically, the boy is a monster in the entertainment. Also known for hyping songs up along with Tengenji. The loud and noisy ULTIMATE GOOFBALL who always randomly breaks into a song off-stage, but beware of his on-stage charisma. You might regret calling Inumine the man’s best friend.

Ageha Riku

Was once an edgy singer with multiple Linkin Park covers stored away somewhere down the darkest pit of his old social media accounts (never talk about them again). But as of now, Ageha is pretty much still a vocalist, but less edgy AND IS AN EXCELLENT FREESTYLE DANCER. One minute being beauty and grace, another minute BEING VERY DISRESPECFUL LIKE CALM DOWN BOI. Ageha may look disinterested 24/7 of the time, but inside he’s the SOFTEST KINDEST SOUL EVER AND HAS THE CUTEST SMILE SAVE ME– Also part of the smol and savage group along with Nayuki and Ugawa.

Hachiya So

A beautiful AND UNDERRATED HUMAN BEING. Often overlooked, BUT HAS THE MOST GORGEOUS VOICE YOU HAVE EVER HEARD YOUR ENTIRE EXISTENCE. Maybe it’s because Hachiya is a kind and humble soul BUT HE’S THE OTHER MAIN VOCALIST. High Note King part 2 and is PLENTY attractive in terms of visuals. A man with various talents such as interior design FRENCH STYLE. Only downside about him, and a trait that unfortunately most people remember about is that the boy is CLUMSY AF. Ageha often has to be there for him but he does redeem himself on-stage with the RICHEST OF VOCALS. ALSO WHERE ARE THE GODDAMN HACHIYA GIFS–

Kitahara Ren

A LEGIT MODEL. A VERY stunning visual with incredible stage presence who is a singer-rapper. Has a smooth baritone voice regardless on whether he sings or raps AND HAS THE AUDACITY TO SMIRK LIKE HE’S OWNED THE WORLD– Is the member who always receives modeling requests first and flaunts any style HECK HE CAN EVEN WEAR A POTATO SACK AN STILL LOOK GOOD. Is a cocky asshole off-stage, but a good kind. Hangs out with the rapper group everytime.

Nanjo Koki

FINALLY. I would like to present to you THE RUDEST, MOST DISRESPECTFUL MOFO OF THE GROUP, NANJO FUCKING KOKI. This bizarrely beautiful mofo right here is also a singer-rapper but leans more to being a tenor. HOWEVER, his GODLY visuals stand out more if anything else and stylists always put him in low-cut outfits for this very reason (much to Ren and Tengenji’s dismay). Like Kuga, he originally auditioned to be a vocalist but got to play both positions, and MAN, HE DOES IT SO DAMN WELL. Off-stage, the boy is a smug and amused individual, always indulging in Ren and Toraishi’s catfights. AND GODDAMIT THERE AREN’T ANY NANJO GIFS OML–

#starmyu #highschool star musical #kpop #hoshitani yuuta #nayuki tooru #tengenji kakeru #tsukigami kaito #kuga shuu #tatsumi rui #sawatari eigo #ugawa akira #toraishi izumi #inumine seishirou #ageha riku #hachiya so #kitahara ren #nanjo koki #answered

[moramew]

Fic Writer’s Week 2017: Day 1

Words of Validation

“Writers: Favorite comments - There’s always those comments that stick, the ones that help you push through a story or personal favorites that you just have to reread from time to time. Writers, this is the day to share some of those!”

Mmm, comments. Lovely, lovely comments. Kudos are good but comments are great. The fic writer’s lifeblood, the author’s light in the dark...maybe that’s dramatic? But, seriously, comments. Comments are so very nice as an ego boost, as a point of validation. For me, comments mean you really liked my work and fuels me with the motivation to write more. I love them (even if I’m guilty of not replying) and there are several that I want to just print out and hang on my wall as a source of motivation.

Here are a few of my personal favorites. (I left out names just in case people didn’t want to be called out but just know I cherish them all and the people who wrote them)

On “Aces” Chapter six:

“it's time to get the floaty review box out for this shit this is so rough to read and i want to bundle up suga and protect him from the world but you capture this kind of atmosphere so well mora also what the fuck kind of shampoo smell is that oh my god did they get kidnapped like immediately after breaking up or something suga's wound up so tight, he's gonna break. i love him but also destroy him mora. break him open so we can start scooping out all this rot so he can get some catharsis i think you mean "deny" not "dent" SHOULDER HOLSTERS SHOULDER HOLSTERS SHOULDER HOLSTERS oh my god did he just eat a weed brownie mora is suga going to end up with ketchup smeared all over him and someone thinks it's blood. i'm not ready for that kind of comedy in a fic like this. plz be gentle with me mora "what've you been into" i'm sorry iwa what else is there for him to get into isn't next week suga breakdown week. is that what normal is for this fic. overall I'M VERY PLEASED ABOUTT HIS THANK YOU FOR WRITING IT BABE”

I love this comment for so many reasons and it’s not just because it’s from one of my favorite people. The enthusiasm and the scolding and everything about it just makes me grin like a fool.

On “Eating the Peach, Finding a Start”

“I never thought about this pairing until you started writing about them and now they're my favorite. <3″

It’s simple, it’s sweet. It makes me feel so smug. I primarily write rare pairs so anytime I can drag someone into rare pair hell with me makes me incredibly happy- especially when they become a new fav pairing for someone.

On “Entwine”

“It's so S O F T and amazing and I just love it so so much. The way you portray everyone; their personalities, actions, desires, is so amazing. You are a GREAT writer and thank you so much for putting so much time and effort into your writing and then sharing it with us <3″

That’s not a tear in my eye, I swear. (God, yes it is. I’m such a sensitive baby) This is so incredibly sweet to me in so many ways but, god, being called a great writer? Being thanked for my time and effort? Shot through the heart, I swear. This is one I visit often when I need to pick up my self-confidence. Thank you, dear. You’re the real mvp.

On “Finally”

“I'm not the biggest fan of ABO dynamics in general, but I really enjoyed this! I loved the way you played with the tropes that go along with this verse, but did it in such a way that it didn't take away the characters' agency. I loved that Suga was still strong, that he chose to be submissive because he liked the way it felt with Daichi. I loved how slow and thoughtful and intentional all of the development was. The trust, and the quiet, gentle way Suga and Daichi grew into being a couple. It was all so soft and so full of love, which I am all about. Daichi is SO GOOD. I love him to death always, and I loved him in this fic. Thank you for so much wonderful snuggling and such a nice build of desire...it was extremely satisfying <3″

Imagine, if you will, another fic writer you admire reading your works and liking it. Liking it even if they’re not into your trashy abo weakness. I’m pretty sure I choked on my spit when this came into my inbox. This one gives me so many warm feelings and a sense of pride. Makes me grin because hell yeah I did a good.

I love this one so much. <3

On “Getting Together”

“I love that you treat the characters and their situations like real things. You perfectly captured the exact emotions that would arise in a situation like this; anxiety, nervousness, tenderness, and lots of emphasis on love and trust. The fact that you kept it with daichi's perspecitive just made it even more personal and tender. (The consent being so prevenlent in this fic is a gorgeous thing as well)Fantastic job!!“

Listen- this fic is my baby. And being told that I captured the emotions well? So validating. I feel so, so proud when I read this and it makes me want to add onto the au even more.

On “Not at the Office”

“three thousand fire emojis”

Honestly, this one just makes me smug as hell. Like, hell yeah I wrote some hot shit.

On “Scarlet on your Lips”

“I read this last night and no joke spent all night like this https://68.media.tumblr.com/7560b08c098fd09f905c4eed917d807e/tumblr_inline_ogjo7pt2rO1r9lz18_500.gif like this was so amazing, the characters so on point, the dialogue so well done, you took me on a fucking soul searching journey when it comes to iwaizumi bottoming, just, wow. You really. showed me the light lmao. I love the banter as they're having sex, there's honest affection there but you can feel iwaizumi's vulnerability/fear/defensiveness as he slowly lets himself have it, and how oikawa is just like OPENLY GRATEFUL (& smug) for every bit of iwaizumi he gets is just. A REALLY GREAT DYNAMIC. I REALLY. REALLY. ENJOYED THIS. I'm going to be thinking about it A LOT.”

Smugsmugsmug. This makes me feel so smug and validated and, god, I’m so happy this could resonate with ‘em. This fic was shameless self-indulgence and the fact that it got this response from someone makes me grin so, so wide. An instant mood booster.

On “Whatever You Want”

“Somehow I knew I would find something of yours when I decided to specifically look for praise kink fics. *applause* Darling it was wonderful and good god so absolutely in character for both of them. I always love your ability to write smut without ruining the essence of the character themselves”

We all know I write smut like there’s no tomorrow. And I try so, so hard to keep people in character for it. So to see that others think I keep characters in, well, character makes me so warm and proud and happy.

This is a little long and I know it is. I know it might seem like bragging but it does bring me such warmth to go back and read through the comments people have left. It makes me feel special and happy to see that people have cared enough about my work to read it, to comment on it. It makes me feel like I’m doing something right and it makes me feel like I want to keep writing. When I say comments are my lifeblood, I mean it.

I don’t think readers really understand the impact that they can have. I can be lifted from a shitty day from just a “i really liked this!!!” popping into my inbox. They’re validating and sweet and make me feel a little less alone in the world.

I love my comments and I adore the people who leave them. Thank you to everyone who has taken the time to comment on my fics- you keep me going.

#ficwritersweek #day 1 of fic writers week

[newyorkermusic-blog]

A Little More Than Just a Spoonful of Sugar

TL;DR: The only way to motivate me to write is when it’s about something I love

WARNING: If you thought my Marvin Gaye article was just me sucking on someone’s dick, you ain’t seen nothing yet.

It shouldn’t be a surprise to hear that Spoon is one of my favourite bands. I talked about them a bit in my piece on lyrics, but today I want to talk about them in a more general sense, because there’s a lot I feel is worth saying about this band in particular.

If you’re not a fan of this kind of self-indulgent article from me, I’d recommend turning away now, because this becomes very ramble-y.

Firstly, it is worth repeating that Britt Daniels has one of my favourite lyrical styles in the world, so much so that his style is a major influence on my own (something I talk about in the aforementioned article). The way he plays fast and loose with traditional lyrical convention is simply exquisite. Sometimes he follows conventional rhyming scheme, sometimes conventional rhythmic structure, but rarely both. He can speak of emotion largely through metaphor, or he can tell a story in a more literal sense, or he can do a bit of both. He’s not above being a bit funny or clever, and his lyrics above all else have excellent personality.

Having said all of this, good lyrics are only one part of the puzzle. Another thing I adore about Spoon is their evolving style. I’m perhaps writing this article a bit early, as their next album is set to release in just a few weeks, but each one released so far has its own style, both in instrumental sound, and in general personality. Gimme Fiction is very distinct from Ga Ga Ga Ga Ga, which is very distinct from They Want My Soul, etc. This is something I look for in particular with the bands I listen to, and is something I can cite as positives for bands like Foals, Klaxons (although their final album... eugh), and Cage the Elephant, whereas it’s a complaint I have about bands like The Heavy and Gnarls Barkley (both of which I really like regardless). I’m certainly not the type to complain about a band’s sound changing; on the contrary, I think that’s really important.

What’s worth pointing out about Spoon in particular though, is the way they’ve predicted how indie rock and art rock (two of my favourite genres, if you haven’t noticed) has evolved over the years. Gimme Fiction feels like an intimate storybook, and in my opinion predicted the sort of stuff Kings of Leon, Modest Mouse, Foo Fighters, and even Coldplay started doing a few years later. Then Ga Ga Ga Ga Ga had a more Van Morrison/folkish (major emphasis on the ish) feel, and then a few years later bands like Mumford and Sons, and Nathaniel Rateliff and the Night Sweats started getting major attention. And then They Want My Soul was more electronic, a little more pop, and certainly more atmospheric or space rockish in style, and that’s the direction Twenty One Pilots, and Florence + The Machine have gone. Hell, I’m excited for Spoon’s next record just to see what the commandment is for rock in 2020.

It’s a real testament to their sound that Gimme Fiction, which is almost 12 years old now, sounds brand fucking new and wouldn’t be out of place among what’s being released today. I mean, Simon and Garfunkel just released a live album, to literally every-fucking-body’s surprise, but you know what I mean.

If there’s something I’m a little apprehensive about with Spoon, it’s the parts Jim Eno comes up with for the drums. Now, I am full of respect for Eno. He’s a really good drummer, and an equally excellent producer. Sometimes, though, he comes up with parts that are just boring, especially for me as a drummer. One of the reasons Foals is my favourite band is that Jack Bevan, their drummer, always manages to find parts that don’t just fit the song to a T, but are also interesting to play and to listen to. Jim Eno doesn’t always manage this, and I think part of the problem is him approaching a song as a producer rather than a musician. Some of his parts are really fun to play, but some just feel like a bit of a cop out. “They Never Got You” is an excellent example - it’s one boring beat for the entire song, with no changes ever, not even a fill. That’s five minutes of doing the same exact thing. One of the reasons I found Divine Fits - which is the Spoon side-project with half of the members - so refreshing is that you got Spoon songwriting with (usually) more interesting drums, because Jim isn’t a part of that band. Again, I like Jim Eno, and some of his stuff is amazing, but some of it gets uncomfortably close to ACDC levels of simple, and I’m not always a fan.

The other thing with Spoon is that while they’re extremely good at nailing a feel and personality for each of their records, they’re pretty bad at things like song order and effectively opening and closing a record. If you’ve heard or read essentially anything else I’ve ever done about music, you know these are things I value highly. The composition of a record is really important to me, because that’s what sets apart the men from the boys. If something like song order is given as high a regard as the composition of each song individually, it shows the sort of care and effort being put in by at least one person in the band. 

Having said all of that, Spoon has had a really good ending song for an album exactly twice, with Ga Ga Ga Ga Ga’s “Black Like Me” (doubly so with a trick they pull on the vinyl release) and They Want My Soul’s “New York Kiss” (which happens to be one of my single favourite songs ever). Gimme Fiction ends terribly, as does Transference, and Kill the Moonlight. Girls Can Tell’s ending song, “Chicago at Night” is up for debate, but 2 out of 6 (seven if you include their really-not-good-at-all debut record) isn’t a great batting average. As far as openers, again Ga Ga Ga Ga Ga is champion with “Don’t Make Me a Target”, but otherwise their albums just get straight to brass tacks without any of the build-up stuff that I personally prefer. This isn’t necessarily a bad thing, since an album like Demon Days by Gorillaz takes almost too long to get going, but I think it’s worth pointing out.

Within the records, song order still isn’t always fantastic. They Want My Soul goes into “Inside Out” for song #2, even though that’s a third or fourth song by any realistic standard. Bringing down the energy entirely into an experimental song #2 like this isn’t new for them (“The Ghost of You Lingers” from Ga Ga Ga Ga Ga almost ruins the opening) but it’s still not a good practice. You should be sucking me in during the first two-three songs by being energetic and fun, which is why the Heavy know to save their first ballad for song #4, a lesson Spoon seems to have ignored. Gimme Fiction actually does this really well, by not getting truly weird until, you guessed it, song #4. That record goes through some cool changes with songs like “Two Sides/Monsieur Valentine” (another of my all-time favourites) and “I Turn My Camera On”, but at least it doesn’t immediately kill the vibe with a fucking synth ballad for song #2. On the other hand, I’m not sure that album even has a ballad, not to mention the fact Spoon doesn’t do traditional ballads like at all. This song order issue is a problem that carried over into Divine Fits, so maybe Britt just knows something I don’t, but it’s certainly a little frustrating for me.

Ultimately, however, Spoon is still one of my favourites, maybe even my second-favourite after Foals. There are a lot of things here that are major influences on my music and the way I think about music, and I will always be grateful if only for that. Spoon are among an esteemed group of things I will always remember as an essential, nostalgic part of my college experience.

I’m going to leave you with “Do You”, one of their all-time bests, because I’ve committed the blasphemy of not putting any gifs in this one at all, on top of the totally unnecessary nature of this article in general.

Spoon’s just really fucking good, so give them a try.

Peace.

#spoon #music #music article