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#batfam comedy quotes

confused-wanderer · 3 months

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Incorrect batfam quotes as things I’ve heard as a college student that definitely fit them:

—

Dick: Stop copying me!

Jason: StOp CoPyInG mE!

Dick: Oh my god you’re so annoying

Jason: oh my god you’re so annoying

Dick: I love you

Jason:

Dick: Say it bro

Jason: *booking it to the door*

Dick : SAY IT BACK MOTHERFUCK-

—

Barbara: .. wait I’m lost now

Stephanie: Girl I’ve been lost a long time ago

—

*while the batboys are doing laundry*

Dick: .. hey Jason?

Jason: yeah?

Dick: I put money and my clothes in the washing machine but it won’t start. Could you try?

Jason *stares at it and gently pries the door open before slamming it shut with such force that it swings open again*

Dick: DONT BREAK IT I PAID FOR THIS MAN

Jason: Hold on lemme try some- *swings harder*

Tim: WHAT ARE YOU DOING IDIOT ??

Washer *beeps and starts washing*

—

Duke: ah.. such a peaceful day and gorgeous vie-

*hears screaming in the distance*

Duke: Aaand we’re walking-

—

Tim: I’m sorry but could you tell me how to spell your name? I’m trying to save your contact.

Damian: It doesn’t matter.

Tim: Of course it does! I just want to make sure I spell it right.

Damian: No, seriously. It doesn’t matter how you spell it. That’s not even my real name.

—

Jason and Damian having breakfast in silence at a restaurant

Damian: so I have a knife in my room.

—

Bruce: And there’s this girl in the bathroom who’s been crying there for hours! And I don’t even know who it is, I can just see her shoes

Selina : Wait let’s check it out

Bruce: .. isn’t that an invasion of her privacy?

Selina: you’re no fun… I wonder what’s going on

Bruce: well she was talking to her friend about *insert very oddly specific rant about every microscopic detail*

Selina:

Bruce: ? What?

Selina: ..and youre trashing me for tryna find out who it is.

Bruce: Hey I was debating if I should call out and ask her if she was okay

Selina: Mhmm. Nosy. Imma go check-

Bruce: I have to fill my bottle anyways so I guess I’ll join..

— later —

Harley: and then what happened?

Selina: This mf was waiting for me outside while I found out and then I shooed him away to fill his bottle. And then we both watched as he placed it under the tap only for it to immediately start overflowing

Harley *howling with laughter*

Bruce: IT WAS HALF- EMPTY

Selina: It was FULL

Bruce: ..you’re exaggerating

Selina: Girl be for real you’re just as nosy as I am, that’s why we get along so well~

———————————————————————-

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shyjusticewarrior · 4 months

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DC Comics Incorrect Quotes Pt 238

[At a Chinese restaurant]

Jason, reading fortune: "You will commit a crime in three minutes."

Tim: That's pretty direct.

Jason: Right?

Jason: What does yours say?

Duke: Mine says "you will witness a crime in three minutes."

Jason: Tim, what does yours...?

Tim: "You will die in three minutes."

Duke: Jay, I think you're going to kill Tim.

Jason: No, I'm not. Why would I do that?

Tim:, standing up: I got to get out of here.

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incorrectbatfam · 2 years

Conversation

[Justice League interviews]

Bruce: So, Miss Quinn, as you know, we have all prospective League members take a lie detector test prior to joining our team. The new Lie Detector 3000 is programmed to go off when it hears you tell a lie. For example, go ahead and tell an obvious lie.

Harley: Grass is blue.

*BEEP*

Harley: I'm a tall Black man.

*BEEP*

Harley: I've never seen Jersey Shore.

*BEEP*

Harley: I love it, I've never missed one.

[later]

Bruce: Have you ever been fired from a job before?

Harley: No.

*BEEP*

Harley: Three times.

Bruce: Have you ever stolen from an employer before?

Harley: No.

*BEEP*

Harley: Alright, damnit!

Bruce: How much would you say you've stolen before?

Harley: Hundred dollars.

*BEEP*

Harley: Five hundred dollars.

*BEEP*

Harley: So much I've lost count.

*BEEP*

Harley: $44,793.

Bruce: That's a lot of money, Harley.

Harley: Well... I had cancer.

*BEEP*

Harley: I bought a boat.

#source: comedy juice #bruce wayne #batman #harley quinn #justice league #gotham city sirens #gotham rogues #batfamily #incorrect batfamily quotes #batfam #batman family #incorrect quotes #incorrect dc quotes #dc comics #tw swearing #tw cancer #long post

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roxineedstosleep · 2 years

Text

Bruce and Alfred parenting the Batboys at LATAM style

I will use the typical phrases and sayings that my parents have used with all the children in the family during our upbringing. (we all live in LATAM)

Bruce, seeing Damian hanging like a baby monkey from the mansion's chandelier: What the fuck are you doing hanging there?

Damian: But Dick-

Bruce: If Dick jumps off a bridge do you go and jump with him?

Damian: No, but-

Bruce: You've got three seconds to get off... or you're going to get more pain from the spanking I'm going to give you for being a dick.

*****************

Alfred, nursing Jason and Tim's colds: Didn't I tell you they'd get sick from being barefoot?

Jason and Tim, who fought off Mr. Freeze, but are too tired (and scared) to argue with Alfred: Mmh

*****************

Bruce to Damian, when he saw him carrying Titus: I don't want animals in this house, Damian! And if there are, you better hope you're the only one who's going to be taking care of your animals. No dare to asking Alfred or me for help!!!

Damian: Yes father.

Bruce, a couple of weeks later.

Bruce: But who is my magnificent, big, strong, handsome boy? You are, Yes you are! You want me to buy you those imported snacks you want so badly?

Damian: Father, I'm so glad you want to buy them for me!

Bruce: And who told you it was for you? I was telling the dog. Either way, go and get me my computer so I can buy them at once.

**************

Duke, seeing how the three elders have hidden themselves in one of the mansion's storerooms: May I know why you' re canned like sardines?

Dick: Do you remember the new European crockery Alfred bought last week?

Duke: The one that says if we go near it or break it we'll be able to talk to our ancestors?

Jason: Yeah, let's say Tim-

Tim: I used one of the cups to drink coffee, but I dropped it when I fell asleep, but when Dick and Jay tried to catch it, they ended up smashing all the others. And Alfred has been looking for us for hours with one of the flip-flops.

Duke: I'll see you at their funerals.

**************

Bruce, talking about how to avoid bullying each time he took his kids to school: And remember kids, what should you do if a classmate comes up to you and starts picking on you and hitting you and calling you names?

Bat kids: Ask the kids to stop.

Bruce: No, hit them back and then call me. I'd rather go to their management because you fought back with a punch than to know that you let yourself get beaten up. And you better hope you guys win that fight.

(Not joking, that was one of the phrases that, ironically, stopped all of us from getting picked on. But in case of bullying, don't hesitate to stand up for yourself and tell your trusted adults, don't let the bullying escalate to physical levels if you can manage it. Love each other and don't be mistreated by anyone in life).

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arguablysomaya · 1 year

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I posted 14,783 times in 2022

That's 333 more posts than 2021!

988 posts created (7%)

13,795 posts reblogged (93%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@revolutionary-trans-pearl-utena

@elytrians

@anarcho-smarmyism

@dingdongyouarewrong

@swarnpert

I tagged 5,912 of my posts in 2022

#batfam - 1,577 posts

#shut up somaya - 819 posts

#dcu - 814 posts

#dc universe - 520 posts

#mutual aid - 419 posts

#batfamily - 320 posts

#batman - 295 posts

#incorrect quotes - 222 posts

#incorrect dc quotes - 218 posts

#incorrect batfamily quotes - 208 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#like the whole point of bruce taking in robins is because without him and his training + equiptment they'd still be out fighting crime just

My Top Posts in 2022:

Damian: You are supposed to bang your fist against mine.

Cass: Why?

Damian: I am told it is a widely accepted gesture for mutual success.

Jason: I love it when you two impersonate normal people.

10,562 notes - Posted August 14, 2022

Dick: Hello? Bruce, where on earth are you?

Bruce: (on the phone) I waved to a man because I thought he was waving at me. Apparently, he was waving to the guy behind me. So to get out of the awkward situation, I kept my hand up so a taxi pulled over and drove me to the port. I am now in Kazimierz , investigating a new case. I should be home by Thursday.

Dick: Wait, wha-

Tim: Understandable, have a nice day.

14,734 notes - Posted May 22, 2022

i hate you endless quippage i hate you contrived dialogue i hate you "he's right behind me isn't he" i hate you undercutting emotional scenes with immature comedy i hate you media that is too insecure to take itself seriously i hate you disney i hate you joss whedon i hate you alienation of artist from artwork until the act of storytelling becomes an unfeeling assembly line

36,315 notes - Posted July 30, 2022

are. are keyboard smashes a thing. on tumblr.

96,791 notes - Posted November 6, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

he gets it

122,914 notes - Posted February 2, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #shut up somaya

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gothamundernightlight · 4 years

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Incorrect Batfam Quotes

Damian: I am of the opinion that the sole reason verbal language was developed was because of our inner need to complain.

Bruce: Well, actually...

Tim: (Cuts Bruce off) No, he’s right.

#source: comedy #incorrect quotes #incorrect batfamily quotes #batfam #incorrect dc quotes #dc comics #incorrect justice league quotes #justice league #damian wayne #robin #batman & robin #batman #bruce wayne #tim drake #red robin

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stayinurlaneboi · 3 years

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Fic Recs

Pics Text Masterlists Gifs Videos Audio CGs

last updated: April 14, 2022

Misc. (Part 1) (Part 2) (Part 4)

batman justice league au lmfao

where child heros aren’t allowed unless they have a mentor…

everybody can cook but alfred tho

gothams TRUE clown

birds of prey au i guess

where the rogues of gotham grew up with that bat fucker over there

where bruce intros dick to the jl

siblings are weird man

the superfriends are cuddling lol

after bruce and alfred are gone

hes not real 1 2 3

zatanna is also a stage magician

clark v bruce: their gaggle of heathens

clark learns slang

*long suffering sigh* bats

children are a t r a p

oliver you heathen that is your protege

clark gets tricked by baby dick lol

the league finds out about batmans hoard

most of the time clarks search history is normal but... part 2

dick and clark bonding over bruces bullshit

batboys as wayne ent employees during quarentine

bruce is not capable of not supporting children featuring shazam part 2

damian grows up to be a beautiful bitch the sequel

imagine if dami travelled back in time to his 9 y/o body

gothams villains are all terrified of this smol child with bloodlust

batman being creepy to make people do the thing

jay likes to seduce his way out of tickets

dick as robin and the revelation that was slade wilson

conner and jon relationship hc

batman and robin but make it spooky

love languages for the bat affiliates 1 2 3

the new member of the JL mistakenly thinks the batcave is quiet

batterror vaccine

bruces family is his light

rumor has it that dick is batmans lover

how to prank a damian

the comedy potential that is all of the superheros knowing eachothers ids

cluemaster and riddlers rivalry ft steph as robin

bruce wayne should be the youngest justice leaguer and heres why

let jason be his own person

in the beginnings of the JL

dicks apt is free real estate for the batkids

you physically cannnot hold a meeting in B’s house

bruces intervention

batfam traditions

jasons a fuckking dumbass and puts a hole into the walls of the manor

wonder woman and aquamans buddy cop movie

batman uses his Tired Dad Voice on rogues

con an jon are what people think siblings are like

batfam royal au on visiting royalty feast days

damian his family and affection

robin musings as per starfire

the ONLY reason why B puts himself through the shit he does is hc he has hope

gotham meets nihilistic millennials

batmans rogues call bruce wayne off limits

the batkids are off causing chaos while the JL looks on in horror

batclan vs batfam

what being a fan in gotham is like

tim is like all those tumblr cat memes

the real reason why batman is necessary

imagine being a robin bc you forced bats to make you one

bats is being audited and they cant spend money on bat stuff

and his would be a legacy of love

harley really wants to be robin for a day

eddie we’re eating human eddIE EDDIE THATS HUMAN ON YOUR PLATE

hal is so disconnected from earth bc he has to work as a lantern

instead of trying to kill tim jason kidnaps him to stop him from being robin

damians always wanted a cat but never was allowed until now

tim hates his life until he met bats

why do people still do crimes in gotham

rob pattisosns version of batman is the one who deserves 8000 kids

a criminal has kidnapped one of bruces kids and he tells them not to kill’em

theres a daycare in the wayne enterprise building

every graduating senior that has heard bats speak has that as their quote

harley is such a big fan of mr wayne doncha know?

everyone likes riddler more than joker

batmans villains are just the funniest when compared

dicks been kidnapped

terry is simply the funniest batman

birdbrains are sick

dami pranks everyone at once

dami going from only child to babie should be discussed more

family traditions

bruce waynes first grey hair ft clowning

bruce is the best ceo no cap

dead robin jokes

talia and dick are coparenting the same child

the only time bruce doesnt care about others is when he plays monopoly

jay and roys rent a bat service

that moment when everyone remembers that dick n jason were real brothers

batman is a childs idea of what the world needs

the batcape is the superior cape minific

the passing of the mantle of robin must give people whiplash

joker v a bunch of frighteningly competent but normal clowns

the bedrooms at the manor are all connected to a bathroom and its chaos

harley and ivy hijacked a radio station to give out advice

jay is infact the most cultured bitch in wayne manor sans alfie

theyre hypercompetent af

reverse robin au

hide n seek

damian is a disney princess specifically for dangerous animals

gotham u graduates have the most insane resumes

“wait batman has kids??” is the best trope

the wayne family has a secret evil legacy just doesnt work

bruce wayne as a father is infinitely better

superman is the most whack hero and thats the tea

jason knowing and having magic is the funniest

bats dading shazam

#archive

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batfoonery · 3 years

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Binge-worthy (Batfam Headcanons)

My brain has been on the fritz, so binging shows and completing fiber craft wips has been about the only non-classwork activity I can handle.

Dick

Doesn't often binge watch shows, if ever. He doesn't like feeling like he's wasting time in front of a screen when he could be out there working a case, doing a job, saving a kitten from a tree or helping an old lady with groceries, etc etc.

Sometimes he can't sleep though, and there are two shows that are always on somewhere in the variety of his cable package: Law & Order SVU and Criminal Minds. Sometimes Dami snuggles up with him and they share ice cream and cry over SVU stories that hit a little too close to home until dawn comes to cleanse the morning.

He's seen just about every episode of each. And he has a Lot Of Feelings about SVU.

Be the Olivia Benson that you want to see in the world.

Jason

You cannot tell me this child does not love nasty TLC dramas. Say Yes to the Dress (he likes Atlanta best, but the og is also *chef's kiss*), Seeking Sister Wives, I Love a Mama's Boy, 90 Day Fiance, My 600lbs Life.... He's seen them all.

There are some days where it is too icky out for villains, so he holes himself up in a safehouse with snacks otherwise banned from the mannor, and alternates between trashy tv shows and classic lit.

Steph, Cass, and Babs usually break in and they all end up falling asleep screeching at the tv together.

Cass

No one ever sees her actually watching tv or streaming any shows online, but she's always up to date with the popular programs.

Knows all the good B99 quotes, and always deploys them with the best timing. It drives Tim crazy because he's always trying to watch them with her but they're always too busy.

The secret is she watches everything with Bruce. It's their bonding time, snacking on Alfred-approved pre-patrol snacks and having peaceful time before patrol.

Tim

Kinda watches things? But kinda doesn't. He plays things in the background while doing other things. So he gets the stories, but doesn't always get the details.

Loves all the different Star Treks and also some older programs, like I Love Lucy, I Dream of Jeannie, Gilligan's Island, MASH.... Old sitcoms make him nostalgic, because his dad used to enjoy them.

Sometimes if he's having a bad day he'll watch one and kind of just doze in and out, not really paying attention.

On those days, Alfred sits with him if he has the time. Tim's out of it, like his brain is resetting, and Alfred will just kinda pet his head, make sure he's getting fluids (tea, non-caffeinated, or flavored water). They don't talk, and it's possible that Tim isn't even fully aware that he's there. But it's nice.

Duke

When my man binges, he BINGES. Sometimes they don't see him for days. That's how he got through all of the (modern) seasons of Dr. Who (Ten and Rose always make him tear up, but Dr. River Song is his favorite character. She's a chaotic sass machine that he aspires to emulate).

Bounces around from genre to genre. Likes fantasy, comedy, sci-fi... isn't as big on slice of life. Binging is a good way to escape, and he takes full advantage.

Famous binges have included: The Witcher, Witches of Waverly Place, Suite Life of Zack and Cody, Phineas and Ferb, The October Faction, The Order, The Haunting of Hill House, Modern Family, and Sherlock.

Damian

Duke got him hooked on anime. He literally reads manga in canon it isn't exactly a big leap. Unlike Duke, he enjoys slice of life, with maybe limited fantasy. Fruits Basket, Shugo Chara!, and Blue Exorcist are all things he's watched and enjoyed, but that's about as "fantasy" as he'll get.

Found family/friends are his favorite types of story. Kabukibu! is one that he found particularly charming.

That being said, if a show has particularly stunning animation, even if it isn't his favorite genre, he'll watch it. The first few seasons of RWBY, for example.

Oh my GOD LAND OF THE LUSTROUS. Dick agreed to binge watch it with him on a whim and they ended up not emerging from the bed until they'd seen all the episodes. No food, no sleep. Just story and beautiful perfect animation. When they were seen again they were in tears and demanded that Bruce figure out how to fund a second season. He told him that he'd work on it and be the hero that we all need, I NEED MORE OK?!

#batfam #batfamily headcanons #bruce wayne #dick grayson #jason todd #cassandra cain #tim drake #duke thomas #damian wayne

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theodorecanaryhood · 3 years

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I'm running low on ideas!! Please help!!

Here's a headcanon! Hope you like 👍

Jason Todd dating a YouTuber. I've taken inspiration from some of my favourite YouTube channels!

Jason met you at a podcast event

You were one of the girls being interviewed, Jason was just there as security

He does that on the side sometimes when he needs a break from the fam!

He was intrigued with you, you were quite straight faced even when coming out with a joke

You had dry humour

You were sarcastic

He started watching your channel, video after video

He subscribed of course

He met you again at another podcast

This time, he asked you out

After a few months of dating, and Jason quoting your videos all the time, he took yiu to meet the batfam

Damian recognised you straight away

'It's you, YouTube, you're y/YT/n'

Damian claimed to be your biggest fan

'You watch YouTube?' Jason questioned curiously

'Yes, what's your point Todd?' Damian asked

Jason tagged along to watch you film a video

'This fool, put a whole cereal bar in a bowl of milk. How'd they work?' You said, Jason cracking up in the background

'Pay no attention to the laughing man in the background'

Since you released the video, all the comments were asking if that was Jason Todd, THE Jason Todd

You confirmed a few videos later that you two were dating

You then did a separate channel for you and Jason

Mostly life hacks, DIY, cooking and baking...yes Jason bakes. Who knew?

Of course Damian wanted to be on your channel too

Dick even did some acrobatic tutorials for your second channel

Your fan base actually got bigger with the second channel

Jason was so happy to be with you

You were happy to be with him

Because of your dry humour and sarcasm and Jason's dark humour, the comedy content was up

Everyone fangirled when Dick joined the team

You helped Tim set up a YouTube channel for technology stuff

You helped Damian with a fitness and diet channel

Dick did a acrobatics and gymnastics channel

You had Alfred on a few times to help with the baking and cooking

Jason did a few videos about the history of the Wayne family...missing out the Bat parts

Everyone was in their element

Jason and you did a video one day, which ended with Jason proposing to you

Then you vlogged after you...of course said yes

Yup, God bless YouTube

#red hood #red hood fanfiction #red hood x reader #red hood x you #jason todd fanfiction #jason todd x reader #jason todd x y/n #jason todd x you #gotham #jason todd #youtube #female reader #dry humour #sarcasam #youtubechannel

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mayonnaisetoffees · 3 years

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Mayo's Fic Recs

List of my favourite fics below the cut; this list is a WIP and completely personal taste; a mix of fandom classics and lesser knowns

Please remember to leave comments and kudos for the authors and podficcers!

*shows particular favourites

Fandoms currently included: Spn, Merlin, Les Mis, BatFam

Fics That Changed Me Fundamentally

Loaded March*** by Footloose. Merlin | E | 1.26M(Series)/ 35k (First part) | 188k hits (First part)

The reason SAS Captain Arthur Pendragon can’t keep a communications specialist in Team Excalibur because none of them are good enough. And then Lieutenant Merlin Emrys gets assigned to his squad, and Arthur does everything he can to prove that Merlin isn’t good enough, either. Except he is.

You can read all about my thoughts on Loaded March here, here, and here. Basically this fic series is beautifully written, has absolutely delicious UST, has found family, magic, and high stakes. It’s been part of my life for almost a decade now, I made friends through LM that I still have to this day, and it genuinely changed me as a person. Plus there are 78k of Extras to itch that I Finished Now What scratch. Parts 1-5 have been podficced and you can find them in works inspired by this one in each part.

Down to Agincourt*** by Seperis. Supernatural | E | 1.12M(Series)/ 154k (First part) | 73k hits (First part)

The world’s already over and they’re already dead. All they’re doing now is marking time until the end.

S7!Dean is transported back to the aftermath of where 5x04 The End left off. Much like LM, DtA was one that I avoided for a while. I didn’t think it would be my thing. I’m not usually into End!verse, it sounded so bleak from the summary, and it sounded so long for something I wasn’t sure about. If you’re reading this and nodding along? You are as much a fool as I was. Yes, it’s the end of the world. But it’s not over yet. This is a beautiful journey in what it means to be yourself, how to survive the end of the world, a How-To for Coups, and a study in food as a love language. I only read this fic this year, but like LM, it has genuinely changed me. Map of the World has been podficced.

Supernatural

Let’s start with the current hyperfixation. All of these are at least passively Dean/Cas unless otherwise stated. I've split into ones from my first time around in the SPN fandom and more recent ones because the vibes are actually really different and it took me some time to adjust (Not in a bad way! In a time has passed they have grown as characters way)

Old-School SPN (AKA the Classics my first time around)

Canon-Compliant or Divergent

Home in Motion* by nomdeplume13 M | 232k | 48k hits

Castiel swore he was done with spur of the moment decisions that permanently changed Dean Winchester's life. A year after the angel's most disastrous, his newest may present the largest challenge of dean's life: Fatherhood.

Did someone say kid!fic in canonverse? This is perfect. Canon divergence from the end of S6. Cas saves a baby from a neglectful mother and gives him to Dean to raise. They all move in with Bobby. Great OCs. Bobby considers Cas his son. Listen everything I say here will not be able to begin to encompass how much I love this fic. Just trust me on this one.

Named* by RC_McLachlan M | 95k | 95k hits

Jesus Christ is dead. Somehow, that isn't the worst part of Dean's week.

With a summary like that, need I say more? No but I'm gonna. This is one of the funniest fics I've ever read, but it doesn't take any emotion from the serious moments, if anything it heightens them. There are so many quotes from this I think about all the time. It was written in 2010 and so there's a bit of misogyny/character assassination of Anna in places.

Second Childhood by CloudyJenn (read by exmanhater) G | 16k (1h30) | 10k hits

"Dude, I can't do this whole thing by myself," Dean said with far more desperation leaking into his tone than he liked. It would just be too much to make it through hell and death and Lucifer only to have Castiel bail on him because of a frigging baby.

They beat the Apocalypse (OG-S5) and then Sam gets de-aged by a spell. I've listened to this so many times I know it by heart, it's an ultimate comfort fic to me.

Defy Any and All Expectation* by Tenoko1 (read by Tenoko1) M | 138k (14hrs) | 37k hits

Chuck's newly released books tell of another war between Heaven and Hell. Team Free Will sets out to try to defy prophecy, only to realize there is a lot more at stake and amiss than the not-quite-accurate words of one Prophet of the Lord. Along the way, Dean and Cas' relationship continues to evolve into something neither expected or were prepared for, all of their lives transforming in ways no one could have expected. But with no shortage of cases, monsters, and mayhem, it's going to require the help of new friends and old enemies if they're to have a hope of saving the world one more time. Alternate Season Six.

So this is a re-written version of Tenoko1's The Path We Choose which I don't think is around anymore. By the time I was reading the re-write as each chapter came out, I knew every single line of TPWC and it wasn't all that much shorter. It's such a perfect canon divergence because they are all 100% in-character. If you're into podfic, you already know what an absolute gift 14 hours is, but if you have never tried podfic before, Tenoko1 is a fantastic place to start. Her voice is soothing and energetic and her Cas sometimes comes to mind when I'm reading fic in Misha's place (sorry Misha)

His Fucking Kids 'Verse by 8sword M | 96k(Series)/ 3k (first part) | 26k hits (first part)

Jesus, the school should just have a parking spot labeled, “Reserved for the Novak-Winchesters,” because Dean’s getting sick of having to cruise around the parking lot looking for a spot every time he gets a call from the principal about Emma.

Emma survives and Dean and Cas are raising her and Claire. This fic series will make you laugh, make you cry, and (nowadays) make you wish Emma had survived to be a part of Wayward Sisters.

One Species Too Many by wallmakerrelict E | 22k | 37k hits

While Dean is laid up for a month after breaking his leg on a hunt, Cas decides that it's a perfect time to adopt a litter of kittens. But even though he's gotten better since Purgatory, Cas still isn't quite the same as he was before fixing Sam's head, and being trapped in a cabin with him for weeks on end is making that all the more obvious to Dean. When Sam takes off on a hunt, Dean has to figure out on his own how to navigate his new relationship with Cas while also helping to raise a bunch of fuzzballs that aren't even cute. Not even a little bit. (Well, maybe a little bit.)

Dean breaks his legs, and honey!Cas brings home some kittens to foster. It's achingly sweet and also painful because you know Dean wants to fix Cas but there's nothing to fix. It is tagged for ableism for this.

Tripping* by Hatteress E | 49k | 78k hits

That time the universe decided Dean belonged with Cas and wasn't afraid to pull out the big guns to make it so. Big guns in this case being obsessive fangirls, archangels turned tricksters and overly enthusiastic cupids. Welcome to Dean's life.

Alt!S5 and it is beautiful. Also any fic with Missouri is an automatic win.

Broadway Musical by Grifitings M | 12k | 79k hits

This is the day that marked the Holy and Blessed Union of Dean Winchester and Jo Harvelle. The merging of prominent bloodlines is always a grand occurrence, but breeding pedigree hunter families like Winchester and Harvelle is something to be rejoiced. It is also something to be meticulously planned, which thankfully the Host is very good at. Or, the romantic comedy where Dean Winchester and Jo Harvelle are destined to get married, Castiel is given the task of playing matchmaker and fails terribly, the entire Heavenly Host becomes a sitcom audience, God warns against male pregnancy, and Jimmy Novak is incredibly unimpressed with angels in general.

Jimmy deserves a sainthood and frankly I don't even want to hear about crack if it's not on the level of the Host yelling at Cas not to touch the butt.

Classic AUs (AKA AUs from my first time around)

Try Something Tuesday by almaasi E | 48k | 144k hits

Dean Winchester teaches a third-grade class. He's new to this whole ‘bisexual’ thing - but by pure happenstance, he meets Castiel: a particularly dapper male librarian who moonlights as a substitute teacher. Dean's curious and Castiel is willing, so why the hell not? Except, fate never intended it to be one-time-only...

This was one of the first spn fics to really really stay with me and it never really left.

Rock 'n' Roll Queer Bar by ChasingRabbits E | 127k(Series)/ 8k (Part1) | 29k hits (Part1)

Ellen and Jo Harvelle run Harvelle's Roadhouse, a bar that unintentionally becomes a beacon for wayward queer souls. Her employees: Dean, the smartass runaway with a big heart and bigger mouth; Castiel, the college drop-out turned hippie; his (surprisingly heterosexual) trouble-making brother Gabriel; and Charlie, who has been told several times that the back room is not to be used for after-hours Dungeons & Dragons games. But there's a lot of love in this place, and a new family for anyone who may otherwise be without.

This series. If you've ever felt unsure or out of place or anxious or just really felt like no-one understood you, this fic is for you. I first found this series when I was coming to terms with my queerness and I genuinely think it was invaluable. Also I am a sucker for the go for a dinner at Cas's family and end up storming out trope.

Play It All Night Long by janie_tangerine (read by Tenoko1) NC17 | 43k (4hrs)

The rom-com-ish one where Dean hosts a late night radio show, Castiel is a regular listener of his who starts calling one day and ends up calling more often than not and Dean finds himself liking it. This, until one day Castiel calls for not exactly petty reasons (just before Dean's brother Sam is visiting with his girlfriend for spring break) and things get very, very crowdy at his place. He also doesn't know it's just the beginning of it. Also features Gabriel, Chuck, Andy, the Roadhouse crew and a huge amount of music quoted. Especially Bob Dylan.

Again, this podfic has got me through many a night of insomnia. Cas calls in after a particularly shitty day and it all goes from there.

New-School SPN (AKA post-2014)

Canon-Compliant or Divergent

Tall Grass by aeli_kindara E | 57k | 28k hits

“I think we should have a garden,” Cas says. Dean looks up from his beer. He hasn’t had that much to drink, but Cas still has a vague look of unreality about him, a splash of living color that doesn’t fit in the bunker’s echoing stillness. Dean didn’t hear him coming. A lot of the time, Cas is so unobtrusive it feels like Dean has the bunker to himself, with Sam away. Dean shakes his head to clear it. “A — garden?” he repeats.

There is a reason you will see this recced time and time again. It healed parts of me I didn't know needed healing.

So Says the Sword* by komodobits E | 85k | 73k hits

The briefing was simple: ‘Stand guard over the Michael Sword until the battle is ready to commence. Await further instructions.’ Castiel doesn’t mind working security duty; he was briefed shortly after the initial salvation of the Sword from the pit, and again before taking up his position. He knows what to do. However, it’s easy to forget that the green room isn’t real. Time moves differently there, the space ever-changing to make a prison of mountains, cathedrals, salt flats, orchards, and whatever Castiel was led to believe about Heaven’s greatest weapon—Dean Winchester is something entirely unexpected

I saw ssts mentioned in like every single If you're getting back into the fandom READ THIS rec list. For good reason. It's described as "canon-adjacent in that seasons one to three happened exactly the same, but when Dean goes to Hell, he is not raised by Castiel". It's one of the most interesting concepts I've read and it's one of those fics where the writing style will stick with you. Castiel POV in a way you've never read before.

Aching in the Absence of You* by sobsicles E | 95k | 9k hits (in 5 days)

Brittle and battle-worn, Cas looks at him over coffee one morning and says, "I need to go," and Dean instantly knows that he's not coming back. He's not really sure how he knows it, but he does. It settles into the pit of his stomach, curling hot and tight like something he instinctively wants to tear out with his bare hands. He takes a breath, and it gets stuck in his throat, hitching there. It hurts, hurts, hurts when he finally exhales. "Yeah," Dean says, "of course you do," and he nods jerkily as he looks down at his phone. He doesn't say goodbye. He doesn't look up from the screen when Cas gets up and leaves the room. He doesn't finish his coffee, or move for a long time. By nightfall, Cas is gone.

If you don't already know sobsicles, I am delighted to introduce you to the person who will smash you to pieces with a hammer to put you back together Kintsugi-style. This one is post-finale but without 15x18 (it'll make sense as it goes). Cas says he's going to leave again and again Dean doesn't ask him to stay. Full of lines so beautiful they'd make Shakespeare weep, Sobsicles has this way of writing that is so evocative and paints such a clear picture. Fair warning, if you're Dean-coded, this might be A Lot.

dumbassery, denial, doing (the three d's to the destination)** by sobsicles E | 108k | 25k hits

Freedom is just one adjustment after the next. ~~~ Cas hums again. "I think you already have. It's been months since everything settled. All that's left to do is...get used to it, and perhaps—" His voice stalls out, uncharacteristically, and his gaze roams Dean's face with intensity. When he speaks next, his tone is a little raw. "Perhaps what one does with peace is...whatever they want." "What if I don't even know what that is?" Dean grumbles, arching an eyebrow in challenge. "'Cause I know damn well you don't just mean good food and a good bed and time in Baby, not simple wants like that. You mean—ya know, the big things, the wants we didn't get to have before." "Yes," Cas agrees. "If you're not sure, figure it out." "Easier said than done."

Yes, two sobsicles recs back to back. This one I read first and it still holds such a special place in my heart. A sign of a good fic is being able to picture it perfectly. The sign of an amazing fic is that when reading this I was so in Dean's shoes I could feel a pool cue between my hands and Baby behind my back. And I sobbed like a baby in this. It has probably my favourite ending ever. It's genuinely beautiful. If you don't read another on this list, read this one.

Teaching Poetry to Fish by aeli_kindara M | 52k | 14k hits

In which Castiel teaches poetry to fish. Also, himself. Also, eventually, Dean. (A series-long story, diverging slightly from canon after S14.)

The ultimate Cas character study and interwoven with poetry.

So There It Is, I've Said It All by PorcupineGirl (read by Ceewelsh) G | 4k | 13k hits

"Why, do you have something you need to say to me that you don't think I'll like?" I think I'm in love with you. "Yeah. I guess so."

Dean figures out he's in love with Cas then can't stop thinking it. This is genuinely beautiful and if you've ever had trouble actually saying the thing you're thinking, you'll relate to Dean here. I recently did the podfic for this.

you won't find this place alone by amidsizedfrog G | 9.5k |

When Claire said she was dropping out of college to pursue hunting full time, Dean said, “right,” and left the room. Or, the cross-generation conversation about formal education, choosing your own path and figuring out what it looks like to find a family. Or, in other words: "But what I do have is a GED and a give-'em-hell-attitude, and I'll figure it out." - Dean Winchester

This is a beautiful look at education in the hunter world, and I love anything that looks at Dean and Bobby's relationship and this does it perfectly. Also best cameo ever.

Seek to Know You Better by ahurston E | 33k | 23k hits

Dean and Cas, a long stretch of highway, and 36 questions empirically designed to make two people fall in love. As if they weren't already.

This is perfect. It has a lovely slow pace like it has the vibes of an indie film if that makes sense? Like it's two guys going from place to place talking. It was an instant favourite.

Newer AUs (AKA more recent AUs)

And This, Your Living Kiss* by opal_bullets M | 57k | 69k hits

Only a very few people in the world know that the celebrated and reclusive poet Jack Allen is just Kansas mechanic Dean Winchester, a high school dropout with a few bucks to his name. Not that it matters anymore; life has left him so wrung out he never wants to pick up another pen. Until, that is, a string of coincidences leads Dean to auditing a poetry course with one Dr. Castiel Novak. The professor is wildly intelligent, devastatingly handsome...and just so happens to be academia's foremost expert on the poetry of Jack Allen.

When I asked which fics were absolute must-reads for someone who'd been out of the fandom a few years, this was said repeatedly. But what really got me to read it was everyone actually told me more about what it meant to them than just the summary. It's a study in poetry, a study in learning who you are and who you used to be, and a reminder that it's never too late.

The Graveyard Shift* by riseofthefallenone, PurgatoryJar E | 620k | 175k hits

Dean’s favourite coffee shop, The Graveyard Shift, is only open after the sun goes down. Which is perfect for him, because that’s exactly when he craves coffee the most while doing the overnight at the fire hall. The coffee shop’s owner is pretty perfect too, but it’s kind of a bummer that Dean never gets to see Cas during the day. In a world where the supernatural live more or less in peace with the rest of humanity, it’s a little impolite to ask Cas just what he really is - or what his dark past entails.

A fantastic magical realism fic - magical creatures live and work with humans. Gabe and Cas run a coffee shop, Dean is a fireman, and the burn is slow and delicious and the intrigue kept me reading for like a week every single spare minute.

Painted Angels by WinJennster E | 106k | 162k hits

Author Castiel Novak has finally hit the big time, with a book based on his failed college relationship with a brilliant painter. He's put all his pain behind him, but at a book signing, he comes face to face with Dean Winchester for the first time in twelve years, and the reunion doesn't go like Cas hoped. Dean's a broken man, with a lot of scars and secrets, shoulders weighed down by his demons and self loathing. Cas sees a second chance with the man he's never stopped loving, but Dean's moved on, and is about to get married. Sam launches a "brilliant" plan to reunite his brother and his best friend, but Cas is worried it will all blow up in their faces, and he'll go through the agony of losing Dean a second time.

The first part of this I actually saved back when I was first in the fandom but I never got around to reading it (I had a To Read folder of 100+ fics that I absolutely dove into when I got back into spn) and the rest of the series finished in 2016 so I'm counting it in this section not the other. On the one hand, I wish I'd read this when it first came out. It's beautiful and heartbreaking, and so visual. On the other hand, I think I appreciated it a lot more now than I would have seven years ago. The parallel of me coming back to the old fandom that I loved dearly with Cas coming back to see someone and places he loved so much really hit. (Although coming back to the spn fandom was much easier and much less heartbreak!)

Finale Fix-Its (yeah fuck you Dabb that this has to be a whole category)

The Goldenrod Revisions by aethylas M | 66k | 15k hits

A rewrite of Supernatural’s final two episodes, expanded into a five episode arc - in which Chuck needs to be defeated, Castiel deserves to be saved, and the characters in this story get a very different ending.

Script format re-write of 15x19 and 15x20 into a 5-episode finale fix-it. As far as I'm concerned, this and chocolatecakecas's American Pie fanvid are the Supernatural finale.

break the skin (to break the barriers)* by sobsicles M | 30k | 9k hits

The first time she meets him, he's nothing more than an almost-missed appointment. ~~~ Dean is silent for a long, tense moment, then he gruffly says, "It's not for banishing the angels. It's to summon them. So, it doesn't—it's not to get rid of 'em, but to draw 'em in." Mitzi can't help but glance up at him at that. His voice is so heavy with so much unexplained pain, and she doesn't understand why, or what angels have to do with it. She knows religion can impact people. She's very aware that it can get complicated, and that it can be a huge source of pain for someone, but Dean sounds grievously wronged, somehow, as if it's a truly personal thing. She pushes through, focusing back on her job, clearing her throat before murmuring, "Well, I guess we all want angels to visit us sometimes." "Just the one," Dean mumbles. "Your guardian angel?" Mitzi asks. Dean breathes out, "Something like that. As close to one as an angel will ever get."

Therapy through getting tattoos and telling your life story to someone who obviously doesn't think it's real. Outsider!POV not just done well, but done literally the best.

Kingdom Come by ahurston E | 17k | 10k hits

Cas wakes up on the coast of Maine. He makes his way home.

I don't know if this counts as finale fix-it as it's more fuck the finale we're ignoring that. There's just so much love and care in this fic.

The Family Business by chai_lattes M | 16k | 5.5k hits

It's all over. It's been weeks since Chuck's defeat and Cas' return from the Empty. There are no threats on the horizon, no apocalypses to stop, but there's something that keeps the Winchesters from being happy. Something that's maybe always been there. On their way back from a hunt, they find John Winchester, back from the dead.

If you're anything like me, you start rubbing your grubby little hands together at the tag John Winchester's A+ Parenting like yes let's address this! This is one of the best examples of John coming back and how it jars with the life that they have built. Also Claire and Jack getting to share screentime!

Merlin

If I have a forever fandom, it's Merlin. I've always kept one foot in this fandom, and it introduced me to fandom, and most importantly to podfic which kinda had an impact. All Merthur unless stated.

Canon-Verse

Seven Magpies by syllic (read by lunchee) E | 33k (3hr15) | 58k hits

Arthur opened his eyes a minute later to the sight of seven magpies streaking across the top of the clearing, their shapes dark against the white clouds and the muted grey of the sky. He tried to remember what it was that seven magpies meant—he'd had a nurse who had sung the rhyme to him as a child—but couldn't. Arthur wakes up somewhere he doesn't recognise, but where he clearly belongs.

Okay so this is an AU but it's Canon-AU so it's going here. Fantastic role reversal fic that you will be thinking about for weeks.

and from your grace, i fell by TheDragon (read by Ceewelsh) T | 4.6k (41mins) | 13k hits

“Where’s Merlin?” he asks the maid. “Where’s that idiot of a Court Sorcerer?!” “Begging your pardon, Your Majesty. I thought you knew,” the maid replies, not daring to look him in the eyes. “He’s taken ill.” “And he couldn’t be bothered to tell me himself that he would be unable to attend today’s council meeting?” Arthur questions, voice full of acid. “He hasn’t woken since he collapsed two days ago, Sire,” the maidservant says, blissfully unaware that what she’s saying the power to stop Arthur’s heart in its tracks.

When I first read this, it had me completely transfixed. I could not stop reading. It was so raw and so full of emotion. I was then lucky enough to get TheDragon in our exchange, so I did a podfic for it and it's probably the most proud I've been of one.

Modern AU

The Student Prince* by FayJay (read by FayJay) M | 145k (15hrs) | 696k hits

A Modern day Merlin AU set at the University of St Andrews, featuring teetotal kickboxers, secret wizards, magnificent bodyguards of various genders, irate fairies, imprisoned dragons, crumbling gothic architecture, arrogant princes, adorable engineering students, stolen gold, magical doorways, attempted assassination, drunken students, shaving foam fights, embarrassing mornings after, The Hammer Dance, duty, responsibility, friendship and true love...

A classic is a classic for a reason. I'm also pretty sure this introduced me to podfics so like special place in my heart x2. Did you know if you filter AO3 by hits on Merlin, this has 426k more hits than the second result? Now that is a Fandom Classic.

Drastically Redefining Protocol* by rageprufrock (read by lunchee) E | 46k (5hr30) | 269k hits

In which Prince Arthur meets Merlin and all hell promptly breaks loose.

As I always say, if this can happen to me and I still love the fic, nothing is going to change that. Arthur hides from his duties in a cupboard and gets stuck in there with a chainsmoking med student.

Fundamental Imperfections by Starlingthefool (read by bravenclawsome) M | 12k (1hr35) | 123k hits

In which an argument about Dickens leads to a Twitter scandal, broken bones, midnight conversations, and transatlantic longing. (Or, an AU with Arthur and Merlin as moderately famous authors.)

This fic has everything: Charles Dickens, long distance texting, Morgana choking a Sherlock cosplayer with his own scarf. This is the ultimate comfort fic and I compare all fics to this even when they're incomparable. I never read the sequel because it was WIP and I was waiting for it to complete, it hasn't been updated since 2015 and apparently ends on an unhappy note, so if you're going to read the sequel you have been warned.

Les Mis

Modern!AU

Overzealous Oddities by YassHomo e/R, Courf/Cosette/Marius, Comb/Ép | G | 6.4k | 4k hits

Courfeyrac: Remember when I smashed our tv and we laughed about it? Enjolras: No. Courfeyrac: Let me rephrase Courfeyrac: I've smashed our tv, lets laugh about it.

I love me a text fic and this is in my opinion the best one around. Just look at that summary. I have quoted that so many times.

But Paris was a very old city and we were young* by GingerNinjaAbi E/R, Courf/Jehan | M | 99k | 42k hits

Perhaps somewhere in between all the cups of coffee, shots of tequila, sunny March days, terrible lumpy jumpers, love, cigarettes, drunken nights and the desire to change the world they'll all leave Paris with a degree in something. Or not. Grantaire's money is on no. But he's a pessimist who's hopelessly in love, so perhaps his opinion shouldn't count.

The ULTIMATE modern!AU tbh.

Tagged by Salomonderiel E/R, Courf/Jehan | E | 155k | 28k hits

So there's this artist. He could probably be compared to Banksy, but he's a lot more... cynical. He shares rooms with a poet who braids his hair with flowers, in a flat near Covent Garden they rent from a short-tempered shop keeper with a penchant for fans and who'd do anything if you mentioned Poland. Sometimes, the three of them will go and deface public buildings in London whilst completely smashed off their heads. And then there's this, shall we say, 'revolutionary'. He has a band of other revolutionaries, who all meet at this cafe by Borough Market. He shares rooms with his best mate, a philosophy student, spends too much time with a flirty guy who has a thing for poets, goes boxing with a guy in a red vest, wants to punch the wet sop who drools on the blonde waitress and is getting tired of this guy who keep breaking his laptops through sheer dumb luck. Thank god the hypochondriac's there to keep an (slightly too) attentive eye on their stress levels. The revolutionary thinks the graffiti artist's work is a waste of space. The artist thinks the revolutionary's campaigns are a waste of time. And all the while, the poet and the flirt drool over each other in the background...

This is perfect and it's funny and it's beautiful and it rips my heart out multiple times.

Canon

To Be Free by kjack89 (read by Ceewelsh) Gen, Cosette/Marius | T | 3.8k (32mins) | 375 hits

Three blows from a bayonet had transfixed Combeferre’s breast, followed by a fall from the barricade as he rapidly lost first blood and then consciousness. But neither of these, it seemed, was enough to kill him, as much as later he might perhaps wish that they were.

I read this because it was on a list kjack89 did of their favourite fics which don't necessarily have the same hits traffic. It's nothing I would have usually read (canon era, not e/R, MCD) but I am so glad I gave it a go. It's a study on what if Combeferre had survived the barricades too and the guilt. This stayed with me for days afterwards until I eventually messaged kjack89 to get permission to podfic it.

BatFam

Canonish (I don't know differences between canons but these are all they're superheros fics)

Robins United by laceymcbain (read by reena_jenkins) Gen | T | 49k (6h15)/ 19k (2h25) (First part) | 103k hits

Bullets, knives, a three story fall, even a fucking crowbar hadn't managed to keep Jason down permanently, but Dick Grayson (and the rest of his "family") was going to kill him with kindness.

The ultimate batbros series. Also if you haven't heard reena_jenkins' podfics before, you are welcome. Pre-pandemic I took a lot of public transport and reena_jenkins kept me sane.

batcoons by drakefeathers (read by reena_jenkins) Gen | G | 6k (49mins) | 14k hits

Jason and raccoons have a lot in common. (Additionally: his so-called family are much bigger pests than the stray animals hanging around his safehouse.)

This is funny, it's heartwarming, and it's a really good character study.

Here Comes the Sun by batsy_rocks Clark/Bruce | T | 19k | 20k hits

Clark Kent is a kind-hearted reporter working in the big city. Bruce Wayne is a stressed dad of four with no idea of what he's doing. Then they meet.

Bruce Wayne is a Tired Single Dad™. It's genuinely such a sweet fic.

#fic rec #spn fic rec #merlin fic rec #les mis fic rec

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squirrelwrangler · 3 years

Text

@kazaera tagged me for this fic meme

Name:

heget in all online fandom spheres, what few places that is (with the sole exception that to my FC I am Deni but that too carries the Squirrel(wrangler) surname)

Fandoms:

There’s a serious divide between which fandom(s) I write for and which I read other people’s fics and collect fanart and read all the meta that I can find. The Silmarillion and Lord of the Rings to a lesser existent is my main fandom I write for, but I read (or read) Star Wars, Naruto, AltA, Final Fantasy (VII, X, XIV, and XV mostly), FMA, RuroKen, ASoIaF, Austen, WoT, DC (mostly Batfam-centric) to name a few. I write almost exclusively for the Silm but love fusions where I stealth crossover the other fandoms.

Where you post:

Tumblr first, especially the WIPs. Then to AO3. And cross-posted to Silmarillion’s Writer Guild but I rarely check in on that website because of lower interaction, inferior interface, and being off-put by the site culture. A few older fics are also on my mostly abandoned DW.

Most popular multi-chapter fic:

Looking at both kudos and overall hits, my first posted fic to AO3, Hold Fast Ere Night Comes, is still ahead of Of Ingwë Ingweron, but OII has more comments and is larger, structured more like a proper chaptered fic, and incomplete. Hold Fast Ere Night Comes is a multi-chaptered fic on technically of length, not for how it was posted or conceived. Eventually the really niche of niche OII will surpass it, I think, which is a little mindboggling.

Favourite story you’ve written so far:

The most popular two fics- the ones with at least a 100 kudos- are Whatcha Gonna Call It? and Tears, and I try not to resent them. Tears especially is short and funny. I wish I was more known as a comedy writer instead of my angst, so I’m glad that my most popular fics are the two most out-right jovial ones.

My Favorite Series is the Tol Sirion leading into Release from Bondage, and a part of me will always answer RfB to these questions because it was the first long multi-chaptered fic -and finished!, I covered a long time period and poured effort into it, it’s a slow-burn romance that resolves (and my first explicit sex scene), so it has a lot of weight in my heart.

The small fics focusing on Elu Thingol and Melian and their peaceful life before the Girdle (Lightning, Knife-sharp, walks in beauty, the artemisia plant) - and Family and Wolves- I love because I adore writing from Elu’s POV. He’s easy and enjoyable for me as few other protags are, I don’t trust anyone else to write him, the romance with Melian is brain candy, and I will blast from a megaphone to this fandom that there were stories to be celebrated in Beleriand before your favorite asshole land-stealing war criminals showed up.

Fic you were nervous to post:

The very first fic, In the Camps of the Bór, because it was the first time I was writing undeniably fanfic instead of original fiction (though a case could be made that I write for the Silm and write mostly original characters or the canon characters ignored by the fandom majority) and it was one of my first posts interacting with fandom instead of lurking.

Whatcha Gonna Call It, of all deepest ironies, was also one, because it’s definitely an AU and invented a child for a canon couple. And that it was a snapshot of something happy -a child’s birth- but that the undercurrents were about miscarriages and childbed death. And that the concept of Nómwen was so old, having hung around in my brain for years at that point.

How you choose your titles:

Usually a single word or phrase that sums up the theme or vibe of the fic, even if the connection only makes sense in my head. Sometimes I will take a piece of a canon quote. I like references to art pieces, and a few are song titles. (one is something I made up but thought it was a song lyric from a Childe Ballad and is thus aping it). In general I like titles that are two words with a connecting preposition or two- one could make a drinking game out of that tendency..

Do you outline?

Not really. The Silm fic stuff is normally too short to bother, and I rarely write it down. The longer fics or ones that I have the idea ahead of time I will have the general plot idea. What I often do is write scenes out of order, so with the multi-chaptered fics I am constantly reordering the prewritten pieces of scenes and then stitching them together with new material. Sometimes I write a paragraph of the summary of a preceding or following scene or scenes to remind myself what to write, but it’s never for the entire chapter. (These are usually present-tense run ons with purposeful lack of punctuation so I don’t confuse them with the snippets of scenes)

Complete fics:

If I limit to AO3 it’s somewhere around 80, I think.

In progress:

Some are collections of short fics that I purposefully don’t tag as complete in case I want to add another depending on prompts, such as Book of Hours, Young Bucks, and In the Pines. As for other conventional multi-chapters fics still in progress: OII, Service, Cold Shower. And the catch-all of Red Hand Band Season Two.

Posted WIPs that I have active plans to continue at this time:

Technically all of them. But to be specific and order of priorities:

In Need of a Cold Shower, the horny-on-main Elrond travels to the Arctic with a couple that function as older sibling/family.

Service to the Dead, Ghost Buddy Cop Fic starring Aegnor and Gorlim, aka the Lay of Leithian from the undead peanut gallery

Of Ingwë Ingweron, aka how Ingwë becomes High King of All Elves, plus the development of elven society

Posted WIPs that I have given up on:

One day “Boromir and the Swamps” will get the second part. But it’s the least likely, followed by Ban and Aereth’s Second Age Adventure that leads to terraforming Numenor. Haven’t given up but they’re low on the docket.

As an idea that will take something unexpected to pull it from the giant pile of prelim worldbuilding and head canon to actual fic written on a page: Vagabond Gondor. It’s early Third Age as a setting, which means rereading and immersing myself in a new setting, plus the residual issue of RuroKen.

Exchange fics due soon/unrevealed:

I don’t do exchanges.

WIPs that live in my fanfic folder and are incomplete and who knows when they’ll be finished:

Giggles. Okay, something that has been started but I have felt a negative drive to go back and work on is “The Great Fever of Dorthonion”, the prequel to “Blood on Bone for a Lover’s Burial” about how Baragund and Belegund spent the summer with Andreth during a plague. It suddenly got too topical as a plot.

Hinnies and Mules, the Edhellos pillow-talk to Angrod about how the whole Aegnor/Andreth romance was an impossibility so stop angsting over it.

The Band of the Red Hand ensemble comedy fics - the camping trip that Faron regrets, the wedding that recreates The Hangover. Those are in perpetual “eventually I’ll write these”.

Coming soon/not yet started:

As a spite-fic to Maedhros/Fingon, any story starring Meril and her life in Mithrim before and after the Noldor arrive and her marriage motivated by politics and trying to keep the Mithrim Sindar alive and how who Fingon wants to be does not match who he is. Also the story of Urumarillo and how he demands a divorce from Maedhros after his death not because he blames Maedhros for getting him killed in Morgoth’s ambush but because Urumarillo lost his sense of self and ambitions and life outside of the husband he still loves because of Maedhros’ toxic family. Then once both those two fics are written, a small ficlet where Meril meets and instantly bonds with Urumarillo, who is her unofficial other father-in-law anyway, since Fingon and Urumarillo’s bond was decidedly a mentorly-bordering-on-father/son relationship.

Do you accept prompts:

Yes, though normally the prompts I ask for and receive are characters to which I then build a story around instead of plot requests.

Upcoming story you are most excited to write:

One day I will get to the OII Sequel that’s an AU where Elu and Ingu swap places and the Minyar Matriarchy.

Tagging … hmm, who hasn’t been tagged yet? mutuals tag yourselves.

#fanfic meme #replies

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shyjusticewarrior · 5 months

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DC Comics Incorrect Quotes Pt 208

Harley: I've been doing this thing where I get drunk and go to the military recruitment center by my apartment and waste their time.

[Day one]

Harley: Put me in, coach!

Recruiter: You gotta come back sober, ma'am.

[Day two]

Recruiter: Why do you wanna join the military?

Harley: I just saw the doctor and I got diagnosed with this thing called "insatiable bloodlust."

Recruiter: You can't say that to us.

Harley: Why not?

Recruiter: You can't join the military if you only wanna kill people.

Harley: That's interesting. What do you think you're for?

[Day three]

Recruiters: *lock her out*

Harley: *leaves and comes back with Barbara*

Barbara, from her chair: Honor isn't worth this!

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atimefordragons · 4 years

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10 for 10 for 10

Rules: Answer 10 questions, come up with 10 more and tag 10 people.

Thanks for the tag @queen-of-salt-and-fury (also you tagged me twice, melanin-monster and atimefordragons are both me, just don’t want you to think I’m ignoring you or anything ‘cause you’re so cool!)

1. Star Wars or Star Trek?

I guess Star Wars, but only the parts I like. I’m ignoring anything that I personally do not like. The Last Jedi? Rise of Skywalker? Never heard of it. Doesn’t exist.

2. Game of Thrones or Lord of the Rings?

A Song of Ice and Fire, if we’re talking adaptions then Lord of the Rings.

3. Sabrina The Teenage Witch or Charmed?

Charmed

4. Harry Potter or The Witcher?

Harry Potter. I just can’t get into the Witcher. It’s got everything I like, but Henry Cavill is creepy. He dated a 19 year old when he was 32, and after metoo said he’s “afraid to date” because he doesn’t want to be “accused of rape”. What a weird and suspicious ass reaction. To be clear, he has yet to be accused of anything illegal or some form of sexual misconduct, but he makes me uncomfortable.

Also harry potter was my first fandom and whatever, but JKR is also testing me every time she speaks. Or rather tweets.

5. Favourite comedy television show or funny movie?

Damn it, I can’t pick. My all time faves are Community, Schitt’s Creek, The Office, and B99. I cannot choose between those four.

6. Favourite single/stand-alone book?

Anna Karenina by Lev Tolstoy

7. Favourite book series?

A Song of Ice and Fire by GRRM

8. Favourite animal?

Dragons Panthera genus animals, and the hybrids. I love, love, LOVE ligers.

9. What would be your ideal job/career, if you didn’t ever have to worry about money?

Not working. My dream is to saunter around on the internet playing games and enjoying media content and interacting with my like 10ish friends.

10. Best personality trait (in you and in others)?

Anger. There’s probably a better answer, but I bond with people by being mutually angry about something; a person, the news, whatever. To quote someone whose name I forgot; “if you’re not angry, you’re not paying attention.” Yeah, yeah, happy thoughts and rainbows, whatever, but there’s a lot to be angry about it, we can have fun after we yell.

My Questions

What’s a fandom/interest you had that you now regret/are embarrassed by?

If you could relocate anywhere on earth, would stay where you are or move elsewhere (and where would that place be)?

Favourite Jonas Brother?

BatFam or SuperFam?

W.I.T.C.H. or Winx Club?

Favourite ice cream flavour?

Classic Fries or Poutine?

Would you rather be fluent in French or Italian?

Favourite Chris?

Dragons or Unicorns?

I Tag: @podunkcanadian @kzombi3 @ayzrules @alittlebitluna @themonsterslut @turquoisesiren @themadmonarchist @maybones @daenerys-the-unburnt @forebodinq

#tag games #mine

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fcbabyx · 5 years

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Joaquin “Joker” Phoenix

Helloooooooo, it’s me again.... popping in after watching Joker earlier this week. You know, the controversial movie that could incite violence, crime, shootings, etc... yep that one. The one that people “are walking out “ of, yeah, that movie. As a long time comic book reader, I can assure you I stayed for the whole 2 hours. 😂😂😂😂😂

SPOILERS AHEAD!!!!

The Good: Joaquin Phoenix , enough said.

The Bad:

The Ugly: the media and some’s response to the movie.

The 2 hour film did a fantastic job in humanizing and dehumanizing Arthur Fleck. The movie does a fantastic job in portraying a more human origin of the Clown Prince of Crime. Hilariously enough, people just can’t take it. The mass media and some percentage of the general public just can’t take the reality of whom The Joker is. People can’t accept that the character that they have used in inspiring quotes and relationship goals with Harley is a sociopath murderer. You know for someone like myself, whom is a huge Red Hood fan, I just laugh at said reaction, tbh. See how he kills my boy below. Get on with the program, people, the Joker is the personalization of insanity and chaos.

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Anyhow, the movie does a wonderful job in humanizing and dehumanizing Arthur Fleck. The low class mentally ill clown that also has to take care of his mother, Arthur Fleck. Arthur, the one that kills 3 men in the train. Actually, lets stop for a second, the killing of the 3 Wayne Enterprises boys, is the tipping point for the society. It draws a clear line of how one even is seen differently by people. However, Arthur kills the “Wayne Boys” after they wouldn’t take a no from a woman. The irony. When Arthur’s condition kicks in a.k.a the laugh, he gets their attention, and eventually kills them in an act of defense. True, he could had shot one and call it a day, but killing all 3 means no one is going to rat him out and it makes it a little more difficult to find.

Fast forward, Arthur gets a girlfriend and mommy dearest is still waiting on the letter from Thomas Wayne. Arthur gets fired if the clown job, tries stand up comedy, that fails, and you know what, the state closes down his state doctor/program. So no meds nor resources cause they don’t give a fuck about people like Arthur. Mommy dearest has a stroke during a police interrogation about how Arthur could had possibly killed someone. At this point the public is backing up the murdering clown. Arthur, then finds a letter from mommy dearest to Thomas Wayne stating Arthur is a Wayne. Hold please.

Arthur then goes to the Manor, meets Baby Batman, Bruce Wayne, but gets no access to meet his father. His does meet him at the theater, yeah, that theater, in which Thomas is like lol nope. Your mother adopted you whenever she worked for us and became obsessed with the idea of you being mine, but is not true. When Arthur starts being in denial, Thomas punches him in the face, and warns him about getting close to Bruce.

Arthur then goes to the hospital, Arkham State Hospital and scares the clerk/administrator guy and gets the file. He snaps. He snaps so bad, that we realize that his girlfriend was all in his head and eventually murders mommy dearest. However, he is happy. He is sooooo happy that he kills one of his former clown coworkers when they stop by to give their condolences. Is a bloody scene. Literally.

After that Arthur is no more and Joker is alive. He is alone with the public backing him up and he is also invited to a live late night tv show. We all knew he was going to kill the man whom has been humiliating him on a nightly basis, on live tv tho? Of Course. When he is introduced as Joker, he explains why the makeup and how is not a political symbol. After a little more humiliation, he goes on a speech about the consequences of leaving the mentally ill and the poor to fend for themselves in a crime ridden city. Eventually he ends his speech with a bang. A shot straight to Robert De Niro’s head. Trust me when I say, it was such a throwback to The Dark Knight Returns, when The Joker kills the audience and everyone in the room. I died, cause someone in the film’s team has at least seen the DC animated movies TT^TT .

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Anyhow, Joker gets arrested and the city is up in arms in a violent protest. As the city goes up in flames, the most famous murder of Gotham City is happening behind a theater, as the pearls hit the floor, the ambulance smashes into the patrol car freeing Joker. In true Joker fashion, we get scenes and shots of the chaos that Joker has fueled, the crime, the violence, anarchy, and nonetheless, insanity. The movie ends with a beautifully disturbing scene of Arthur killing a doctor in Arkham State Hospital and running away from the other staff members while leaving bloody footprints. The End.

Is a fucking masterpiece. The reason why some are upset at this movie is due to how explicit it is with the violence and crime. However, is a Joker movie. In the era where we get superhero movies and the bad guy always lose, Joker has no hero. Batman is nowhere close to be Batman. In reality DC could had started their “universe” with this movie, but they didn’t. At the same time, this movie is beautifully disturbing on its own and it works.

I’m tired of how divided the social media is with this movie. I’m tired of seeing the ones whom have never picked up a comic book say how the movie destroyed the character and is garbage. No dude, fuck you and shut up. The character The Joker, the Clown Prince of Crime, is not what you think it is. The fucking clown, murdered Jason Todd as a teen, paralyzed Barbara Gordon/Batgirl, hence why she is in a wheelchair, he brutally beats up Harley (Mad Love), hell they both kidnapped Tim Drake ( one of the Robins) brainwashed him into thinking he was their child and had him try to kill Batman AND had him tell them Bruce Wayne is batman. The mental torture of the Batfam on the Death of the Family with the cruel joke of cutting their faces off and showing them to them. The shooting spree in the tunnel of love during The Dark Knight Returns, hell he is responsible for the death Lois Lane and Superman’s unborn baby in Injustice, the murder of Sarah, Jim Gordon’s second wife with a bullet straight to her face, the Skinning of Monty, etc.... but above all HE KILLED JASON TODD!!

What I am saying is, this version of the Joker shows how bloody and psychotic the character is. However, The Clown Prince of Crime did had a phase on which he was the Red Hood. The Joker is not known as The Clown Prince of Crime for no reason. He is also one of the most evil villains of all time, you guys really thought it was due to his rivalry with Batsy? The clown needs Batman, he is not going to kill him, in fact when he did, he went insane. The fuck? This movie was never meant to end with Batman stopping him, it was meant to showcase, that in the end DC is not afraid to show their dark side. The Joker still has people thinking if Arthur Fleck is The Joker? Is a well written movie that destroys the image of the romanticized, idolized, mainstream Joker for plenty. Do not confuse this with me not liking pretty much any other version, anything except Jared Leto’s tbh. However, the movie its brilliant and Joaquin Phoenix deserves an Oscar for the performance.

#joker #2019 #joaquin phoenix #movie #dc #dc comics #arthur fleck #opinion

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gothamundernightlight · 4 years

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Incorrect Batfam Quotes

Dick: I bought a donut, and then they gave me a receipt for the donut, and I just could not imagine the scenario where I would have to prove that I bought a donut.

Babs: ...

Babs: You’re lucky you’re cute.

#source: comedy #incorrect quotes #incorrect dc quotes #dc comics #incorrect batfamily quotes #batfam #batfamily #justice league #incorrect justice league quotes #dick grayson #nightwing #barbara gordon #batgirl #oracle #robin #batman & robin

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