#bad things it has OR completely fumble the final release

[aikotos]

Praying I don't regret the hundreds of dollars I have spend on the Aigis figure, this seam looks so gross omg 💀

I wonder if that's where the LED switch will be, I hope they poish it on the final product... 😭😭

So far this is the only bad thing about her, but its so BIG....

#the thing with prototypes is that they either fix the few #bad things it has OR completely fumble the final release #there's no middleground #talk #she's very woobly when you move her around as well #but mine will stay on a big stable surface #and our relatively usual earthquake arent big #so i dont mind that

[atomic--peach]

Her Grace's Handmaiden Pt.15

(Sandor Clegane x Fem Reader x Cersei Lannister. TW: Domestic abuse.)

AO3 VERSION: https://archiveofourown.org/works/48276340

The stand off between you, your husband, and the queen had gone on for days.

You certainly didn't intend to apologize for a bit of teasing, in fact it only made you more determined to win.

Brushing off Sandor was easy enough once you got past his kicked puppy face when you reject his advances. Though you had to admit, the dejected look in his eyes did pull at your heart strings.

The queen, on the other hand, was harder to fend off. It was clear she hadn't expected this stand off to last more than a few hours.

But you were determined neither one of them would touch you until YOU approached them.

But that didn't keep you from your duties, tailing the queen throughout her day and tending to her needs as you had done before.

"Are you still being stubborn?" The queen asked cooly

"Yes, Your Grace."

"And how is your husband taking it?"

You smirked a little.

"I think I saw him hit the training dummy a little harder than necessary, Your Grace."

Cersei couldn't help but chuckle, but stifled it as a page approached them.

"The Hand has awakened, My Queen" the young man bowed. "You asked to be told immediately."

"Finally." Cersei hissed. "I won't let Robert wriggle Ned Stark off the hook this time. Come."

Cersei snatched up your hand and all but dragged you to the Tower of the Hand.

Robert had beaten you both there and was already standing by The Hand's bedside when you entered.

Robert glanced at you a moment but decided you weren't worth the fight as Ned's head shook from side to side.

The onslaught of questions was so immediate, you almost felt bad for Lord Stark, who firmly stood his ground.

The options were simple, it seemed. Lord Stark was to make amends with Jaime, his wife was to release Lord Tyrion, and he was to return to his duties as Hand.

Cersei fumed at this. "You allow his daughter to attack our son, his wife to kidnap my younger brother, and his men to attack my twin?" She hissed. "I took you for a king! I should wear the armour and you the gown!"

You nearly lunged forward when Robert's large hand came across Cersei's face. The queen sat a moment in stunned silence before smirking, rubbing the growing red welt on her face.

"I shall wear this like a badge of Honor"

You felt the burning fires of rage eat away in your chest as Cersei dragged you away. For a moment you looked into Robert's face and only saw red.

The two of you walked silently before you could not longer keep yourself from speaking out.

"That was wrong of him." You said plainly, the lines of your face tight and drawn. "Very wrong."

"I know"

"That wasn't the first time, was it?" You grabbed her arm, daring to show a level of familiarity outside the bed chamber.

Cersei looked stunned but shook her head. "No, darling. It wasn't"

"Do they know? Your brothers, your father?"

"Jaime would cut him in two." Cersei scoffed.

"Maybe he ought to" you sucked in a breath. "I'm sorry your grace. The was a treasonous thing to say and completely out of line"

Cersei's eyes watched you for what felt like an eternity before touching your face gently. You moved to do the same, caressing the swelling side of her face and frowning.

"This needs ice"

Cersei nodded with a thoughtful sigh. "Why don't you fetch me some? Bring it to my chambers."

You obeyed swiftly. You knew Pycelle would have what you needed, and were willing to risk a long winded conversation to get it.

You didn't mention what it was for, which Pycelle muttered in dissatisfaction over. The old man was a wizened busy body, constantly monologuing.

As he fumbled with an ice pick, chipping away at the carefully stored block of ice kept under the floor boards, you glanced around at the bottles and vials, all containing unknown liquids of various makeups.

Your eyes glanced over one that looked familiar.

Essence of Nightshade.

You had delivered this particular potion to Cersei more than once in the past, always with the warning to only administer 1 to 3 drops.

Anymore was deadly.

"Grandmaester" you said curiously. "I do have one more question if you don't mind."

"Of course, my lady" the old man nodded. "Anything"

"It's something of a private matter" you began, "I was wondering if you had anything to boost fertility? As you know it's been several months since my wedding night and I'm afraid we havent had much luck."

"Ah!" Pycelle seemed eager to aid her, fumbling with tomes and ledgers of every combination of herbs imaginable."Of course! Not that you should be worried yet, after all it's only been a few months. But I can understand your nervousness. Yes, it's quite common among older wives, but not to worry. It is still very possible for a wife your age to bear many children."

As he rambled, your hands moved like a shadow. By the time he turned around, the vial was tucked securely in your bodice and your face told his you had listened to every word he said.

"Here you are, my dear" Pycelle handed you a large sachet of strange smelling herbs. "Have this made into a strong tea and drink three cups every day. Is that clear?"

"Perfectly clear, Grand Maester" you nodded, taking your leave without waiting for him to dive into another lecture.

The ice was half melted in your hand by the time you arrived in Cersei's quarters.

"Thank you, pet." The queen pressed the cold bundle to her face. "I take it he took his time?"

"Not as much as he could have" You shrugged. "Are you alright?"

"Fine" Cersei nodded, "Robert is going hunting tomorrow at dawn, so at least I won't have to see him."

You nodded, finding your opening. "What poor souls is he dragging with him this time?"

"Oh, Barristan of course, Renly. And of course Lancel, my poor cousin. I should have known better than to make Robert take him on as Squire."

Lancel, you thought, you knew that name.

"I think I've met Lancel, haven't I?"

"Once, briefly." Cersei beckoned you onto her love seat and leaned against you. Even now she was a true beauty, all golden shimmers and scarlet silk. "You probably remember him running after Robert looking like a scared chicken."

Oh yes, you thought, I remember him now.

"I should get going." You breathed reluctantly. "Pycelle gave me these herbs and they're supposed to help with....you know"

"Ah" Cersei smirked knowing. "So you've decided to call a truce."

"For the sake of House Clegane and my marriage, I have decided to yield" you confessed, planting a firm kiss in your lover's lips before making for the door.

At first, you had no idea where to find Lancel, then you remembered what 90% of his duties were.

The wine cellars of The Red Keep were cold and dank, perfect for preserving the thousands of vintages stored in wooden barrels that lined the stone walls.

"Lancel" you called softly. "Are you down here?"

You spied a crop of white blond hair in the torch light and smirked, "are you hiding?"

A pair of sea blue eyes peered out from behind a set of stacked barrels.

"Please don't tell the king" he nearly whimpered.

"I won't" you assured him kindly. "I'd hide down here too, if I had your job."

Lancel got a good look at you in the flickering flames and frowned, "Lady Clegane?"

You noticed the half empty wine flask that dangled from his hand and motioned to it.

"May I?"

"Oh!" The squire paled and extended the flask to you. "Please, my lady."

"You don't have to call me that, you know." You chuckled lightly, "I'm not a lady. Not a real one."

"Whatever would I call you then?" The young man asked, slowly relaxing as you took a swig from the flask. The wine was sweet and rolled down your throat like liquid silk. An excellent vintage.

"You have good taste" you complimented, handing the flask back to him, "you may call me Y/N, if you like."

"Really?" Lancel blinked, a light pink blush filling his face. "My lady, I don't think-"

"Relax, Lancel" you scoffed, "I didn't come down here to seduce you. I came to check in."

"Why?"

You frowned, moving closer to the squire, "he's very cruel to you, isn't he? I've heard the way he talks to you, and it isn't right."

Lancel paused a moment before nodding, looking at his feet. "He called my mother a dumb whore."

"And that was very wrong of him." You pressed. "It's not right to talk like that to anyone, even if he is the king."

"But what can be done?" Lancel bemoaned. "He doesn't listen to anyone. Not even Ned Stark."

"I think" You began slowly. "The only thing that gets to a man like The King, is to be reminded that he isn't all powerful. That even kings must depend on those around them when they stumble."

"What do you mean?"

Slowly, you removed the Essence of Nightshade from your bodice and handed it to him.

"Put a few drops of this into the king's wine during the hunt tomorrow." You instructed, "when he gets too drunk, he will have to lean on others to make it back to the palace. Maybe then he will realize how vulnerable he really is."

"Do you really think that will work?" Lancel turned the vial over in his hands, "and it won't hurt him?"

"Just don't add more than 10 drops" you instructed firmly. "Just enough to throw him off, not enough to hurt him."

Lancel seemed nervous but nodded.

"Brave Lad" you cupped his cheek tenderly and he seemed to lean into it. "Now remember, this stays between us. We aren't hurting anyone, just teaching him a lesson. Right?"

"Right." Lancel's voice went from soft to firm and you knew he was ready.

"You're a good man, Lancel" you assured him and the squire blushed.

---------------------------------

The tea Pycelle perscribed smelled even worse when brewed.

The scent was sharp and medicinal and it stung your throat when you chugged the liquid to avoid actually tasting it.

"This shit better work" you muttered, trying not to gag.

The door to the chambers squealed open as you looked over your shoulder with a small smile.

"Good evening husband"

"Wife."

"Are you still cross with me?" You said in a teasing tone, curling your feet up into the chair you sat in and tucking them into your night gown.

He didn't answer and you rolled your eyes.

"Can we stop this please?" You sighed

"You started it." He snapped.

"No. You started it." You corrected him with a huff. "This isn't helping."

Sandor kicked off his boots in frustrated silence and you moved to the bed next to him.

"Can we talk about this?"

"Not much to talk about."

"Well," you breathed, "It felt really, I don't know, strange, that you and the queen talked about me."

He glanced at you but didn't fully turn to look. "Why?"

"I don't know" you mumbled, "I guess I just have a different relationship with her than I do with you."

Sandor frowned at this but tried not to jump to conclusions. "Explain"

"The queen is....I love her. I would do anything for her, but she isn't like you. She is the queen, and I am still her servant. She tells me what to do and where to go because when I'm at court and around her it is my job to. And it's a job I take great pride in."

You crossed your arms and leaned on his slightly.

"But you. You're different. I love you so much. If I lost my place in court tomorrow it would hurt. Maybe more than anything ever has hurt. But I know that I could move on from it if I needed to. Because it's a job. But I don't want to be your servant Sandor, I want to be your wife. I want us to be partners. Does that make any sense?"

You waited for a response, but all that came was a large arm draping itself across your shoulders, pulling you into his chest with a deep sigh.

"Come to bed" he grumbled, pulling your body with his as he moved up the bed towards the pillows.

He was a man of few words, you knew that. So if this was the only acknowledgment you were getting, you accepted it openly, curling against his chest as his arms locked around you.

#cersei lannister x reader #sandor clegane x reader #game of thrones fanfiction #her grace's handmaiden #asoiaf fanfiction

[sunglassesmish]

Kay ... i basically just woke up and i have to catch up on EVERY SINGLE THING BUTTTTTTTTTT:

AND THEN::::::

KAYYYYYYYY I'M FUCKING FREAKING THE FUCK OUTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT. OMFGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG JENSEN IS SOUNDING MORE AND MORE LIKE A SEQUEL IS GOOING TO HAPPEN AND HE WANTS THE CONFESSION TO BE ADDRESSED AND LISTEN THERE IS NO FUCKING WAY THAT HE WOULD THEN NO HOMO DEAN TO CAS RIGHT????? RIGHT??????????

i mean okay listen listen. the reunion happens and all that cas and dean reunite etc. you cannotttttttt tell me that they would then no homo it. especially because now that jensen has the idk what the technical terms are but like right now he has the rights to spn to work within it's universe with spnwin so he for sure is gonna exec produce the spn sequel. and with chaos machine he and danneel very clearly played into the queer community and its representation etc. i cannot imagine that when it comes back they would crush cas by going "sorry cas but I'm not gay" like i could never in a million years see that happen. OMFGFGFGF OKAY LISTEN LISTEN I'M FREAKING OUT LIFE IS GREAT. okay for the longest time i was worried that if there was going to be a spn sequel they would completely ignore cas' confession cuz spn in the old days was ... eh (and i mean i loveeeeeee the show but ya know) but now that jensen said it is going to be addressed if they ever return, and with him being the IP holder right now and with his production company being so queer focussed in it's press release.... and with misha caring so much about cas' queerness. i just do not see any version where dean doesn't reciprocate. i mean he's def gonna fumble and he and cas will prob dance around it etc. but like ........ fucking hell

i swear to fucking everything i neeeeeeeeed NEEEEEEED this sequel to happen like if someone at HBO or CW or WB blocks it from happening I will call upon every single power that I do not possess to curse them to eternity and beyond BECAUSE I FUCKINGNNN NEEEEEEEEEDDDDDDDDDD CAS AND DEAN BACK ON MY SCREEN. I SERIOUSLY MISS THEM SO MUCH. FUCK NOW I'M CRYING. I CAN'T EVEN SEE WHAT I'M TYPING. I MISS THEM SO MUCH. THEY'RE THE BEST CHARACTERS EVER AND THEY DESERVE TO LIVE HAPPY EVER AFTER AND I FUCKING HATE THAT FINALE THAT WE GOT BECAUSE IT WAS A HUGE DISSERVICE AND AFTER EVERYTHING DEAN AND CAS DESERVE TO LIVE TOGETHER BY A LIKE JUST GROWING OLD AND WE DESERVE TO SEE IT AND BY FUCKING GOD I FUCKING NEEEEEEEEEEED THIS ON MY SCREEN. okay I went completely insane but I FUCKING MISS CAS AND DEAN AND I NEED THME BACK AND I NEED THEM TO REUNITE AND I NEED THEM TO TALK ABOUT IT AND I NEED TO SEE THEM FUMBLE ABOUT IT AND I NEED TO SEE THEM ADDRESS IT AND I NEED DEAN TO RECIPROCATE CUZ I SWEAR TO FUCKING GOD IF THAT HAPPENS I WILL DIE. I WILL LITERALLY DIE. AND I DON'T EVEN CARE. LIKE NO ONE WILL EVER BE ABLE TO TELL ME ANYTHING CUZ THEN LIFE HAS GIVEN ME THE ABSOLUTE BEST POSSIBLE THING EVER. AND I'M CRYING AGAIN CUZ I MISS THEM SO MUCH. (I have serious mental health problems lol but I don't even care lol

i just miss dean and cas so much

em this is the best thing i’ve ever read i love how passionate you are!!! nobody else has freaked out about this enough i love you 🥰🥰🥰

but then in his cockles panel he said he wants to remake the finale and misha even told him to do it!!! i can’t remember the specifics because that panel was like a fever dream but i know he’s cooking up something (whether he’s come up with the idea or not he’s doing something i think)

i need dean and cas back. i need them back so bad…. like it hurts my heart thinking about how they their lives ended and they lost each other

#thetiredstuff #ask #i’m so glad you’re back but i already told you that hehe #and this cockles panel was the most insane thing ever idk if you know what happened but jensen called misha his boyfriend #so

[noble-6]

Wassup yall!

Luckily i remembered about the existence of this app. lol. Another life update entry i guess? Here we go ->

Life hasn't been that great. I mean yeah aside form studying, I've been having fun! Socialising, playing football, a bit of rugby. To be honest, this entry won't be a fun life update. Basically I'm here to rant. Can't do it on twitter cause all my friends are there. No one wants to hear my problem. You can say this place is a safe space for me (even if you read this you might be a stranger to me lol but feel free to read !).

Academic wise, I think i'm fumbling my degree. Yeah! I've started my degree last march. I'm in my first year first semester. At first I was excited ! Learning new things, coding, doing homeworks. No for real i did all the homeworks they gave me, for the first 3 weeks. But then it all sort of fell off like domino pieces because of Raya celebration. Don't get me wrong I love Raya, it's just that the holidays distrupted the college timetable A LOT. I mean replacement classess were all during the night or the weekends. Quizzes were held every week, assignments, crappy lecturers.

Tonight I just had my mid term test 2 for this one subject. It was at 8pm. While i was on my bed that evening(i slept after studying) my lecturer of said subject just released the score for quiz 4 of the subject. I actually tried my best for that quiz. I studied, rewatch the lecture recording, made notes. I had high hopes that i wouldn't get a score below 5(full marks was 10). You know what i did get? 1. 1 out of 10. After seeing the result, I honestly didn't know what to do. "Should i go and take the test that night? It's pretty much worthless if you think aboht it". I could say the feeling was worst than a heartbreak( i wouldn't know i've never experience it before). And then i started to think about this other subject at which my carry mark was also pretty low. Not only this subject has assignments to submit, it also has a final exam. So that's twice the headache i need to face for 1 subject.

I'm 24 this year and since this is my first year degree, I should be graduating when I turned 26. A lot of my friends has started working this year and here I am just starting my degree. Talk about being late. Now i have a mid-20ish-lif crisis(?). I'm starting to think I'm not smart. I mean all my life I thought I was average. Like yeah straight after highschool i played alot. But I've always thought if i really did focus on my studies, I'd be average. Now I'm not so sure. I think I'm 90% conviced that I'm below average. You know how theres smart students who scored straight A's, then there's above average students who scores 3.5 and above, and then the average students who scores 3.2 and above. I used to think I was average. Right now i think i'm just stupid. I studied, however i still didn't score. Like what does that tell you? You're not smart enough for this course.

So let's talk about my backup plan. As of right now, plan A is to finish this degree and get a job in the it industry. Plan B is work part time whilst studying this degree( to avoid me doing nothing at all). Plan C is to enroll in those google coirse where they give you a certificate upon completion(data analyst, web developer etc).

Plan C looks to me the more realistic approach given the situation I'm in. The only downside is I won't have a degree to my name. And that's bad for my future. It means it will be hard for me to climb the corporate ladder. I may be stuck in the same job position until i retire.

But let's be honest here, the only logical thing to do here is to finish the degree. Everyone else agree with this. Even you! Stranger who i don't know, reading my post somehow. I should just push through this upcoming 3 maybe 4 years of university life. It'll be over before i know it. I know i can do it. I just have to believe in myself again. Find that spark.

It all comes down to the basics of life you know? How my relationship with Allah is, with my family, friends. I need to do a lot of self reflect to become a better version me. Maybe not the best version, but just better than yesterday at least.

Wow! That's a lot of rant. Hahahaha. Yeah i just need to vent out you know. Maybe the next time I do my life udpate I'll be writing some good news! Maybe.... we'll see.

See ya!

#student life

[storiesforallfandoms]

and the winner is... ~ eminem

word count: 1784

request?: yes!

“hey, love your writing sm ❤️ I really like the concept where the reader is a young actress with Eminem, so can I request one where they go to Marshall’s award show for the first time publicly, they try to keep it low key but the reader presents an award and when Em wins they share a warm moment on stage and the media loses it? thanks in advance”

description: in which they say they’re going to be lowkey for their first public appearance as a couple, and then he wins the award she’s presenting

pairing: eminem x female!reader

warnings: swearing

masterlist (one, two)

It was hard to keep my hands off of Marshall as we walked down the red carpet. It was our first public outing as a couple, but Marshall wasn’t very into PDA so we had decided to keep it somewhat lowkey. It seemed like a good idea in theory, until Marshall did the unthinkable and showed up dressed in a suit. How am I supposed to not jump his bones when he looks damn fine in a suit?

Every time I so much as glanced at him the paparazzi would go crazy. So many flashing lights that eventually I was seeing spots. It was hard to keep smiling when I couldn’t even see ahead of me.

Marshall put an arm around my waist - which of course led to more flashing lights - and walked me off the red carpet into the venue. The minute I walked through the doors into the dimly lit room, it really was like I couldn’t see. I had to take a minute to let my eyes adjust to the sudden light change.

“Weird how quickly I go from basically a nobody on a red carpet to a hot commodity just because I have attractive arm candy,” I joked.

A half smile tugged at Marshall’s lips. “You were never a nobody. Not to me anyways.”

“Awe, that’s so sweet it’s kind of gross,” I teased.

This earned me an actual laugh as Marshall pulled me in for a kiss. Without any prying eyes around, we felt free to actually be a couple.

We engaged with some others in the industry, including those Marshall considered to be close friends of his. I felt out of place at this music award show as an actress who was still trying to become more than just a side character in the movies she starred in. I was grateful to have Marshall there to help me through it.

When we took our seats as the show was starting, Marshall reached over to take my hand. “Are you okay?”

I shrugged. “Nervous I think. Which I shouldn’t be because it’s just me announcing an award, but it’s my first time on an award show stage for any reason, and it’s a pretty big award.”

“And it’s one I’m nominated for.”

I looked over at Marshall with wide eyes. “What?!”

“You didn’t know?”

I shook my head. Now I felt so much more nervous. What if I pulled a Steve Harvey and said the wrong name because I wanted Marshall to win? Or what if he actually did win but everyone thought I said he did because we were dating? I tried to focus on the stage ahead of me but my heart was beating so fast that my vision was starting to get blurry. I felt warm, like I was sweating, which made me worry that my makeup was starting to run. I was going to look disgusting with my makeup running on live television.

Sensing my new found nervousness, Marshall gave my hand a reassuring squeeze.

“Hey, look at me.” I glanced over to meet his gaze. “It’s going to be okay. You’ve rehearsed this speech so much that you can say it without the teleprompter. It’s not going to be any different just because I’m nominated. If I win, you give me the award and I do a speech. If I don’t win, you give the award to whoever does and they make a speech. It’s not a big deal, (Y/N), don’t worry too much about it.”

I wished I could’ve just let my fear rush from my body, but it was still there. Before I could say anything else, the lights went down and the show officially started.

I tried to just sit and enjoy the show but it was hard when I had my upcoming presenter role looming over me. Of course, it was one of the last awards of the show, so I had to sit there and let my nerves build as the suspense for the winner of the award grew as well.

Every now and then Marshall would give my hand another squeeze and I would calm down for that split second. Having him by my side helped a lot, but every time I remembered that he might be the recipient of the award I became nervous again.

Finally, it was my time to take the stage. They passed me the envelope with the name of the winner and motioned for me to take the stage. I plastered a smile on my face as my name was called and I walked onto the stage. I hoped the cameras couldn’t pick up my shaking, and I really hoped my shaking wouldn’t make my voice sound as bad as I feared it would.

“This award can only go to the best of the best,” I started, glancing at the prompter in front of me to make sure I was saying the words correctly. “The person who worked the hardest and had the best payoff with their release. The competition this year is fierce, and it was hard to narrow it down to just these five artists, as there have been so many amazing works of art released this past year. It has been an even harder choice to pick who of them all is the best, although I might be bias in saying I’ve already chosen my favorite.”

The audience chuckled at my improved addition to the speech.

“Ladies and gentlemen, here are your nominees.”

I watched the video that played of the nominated artists. My heart skipped a beat when Marshall came up, a few clips from the music videos he had filmed playing in a short montage. He had worked so hard on his latest album, every part of me hoped that he would be the winner I was announcing.

As the video came to an end, I turned back to face the audience (and the cameras) to announce the winner.

“And the award goes to...”

I tried not to let my slight fear show as I fumbled with the envelope for a moment. I started to worry that I wouldn’t even be able to open it and completely embarrass myself on live TV. I tried not to sigh with relief when the seal perfectly popped open and I was able to pull the card out. The smile on my face had to have given away the winner before the words were even out of my mouth.

“Eminem!”

The crowd cheered and stood from their seats. A camera found Marshall, who was standing from his seat and hugging Paul and Denaun before making his way to the stage. I couldn’t help but smile proudly at him as I extended the award I was holding - his award - to him.

I was taken by surprise when he wrapped an arm around my waist and pulled me in for a kiss. It was brief since he had an award to accept, but it was enough to make my head spin, the way his kisses usually did.

When he pulled away I was still so stunned that I almost forgot to give him his award. I could see him trying to hold back a laugh as he took it from my hands and turned to the microphone.

“Thank you,” he said to the still cheering audience. For a minute I forgot there was anyone else in the room, and realizing so many people had watched that kiss made my cheeks heat up. “I’d like to thank my manager, Paul, who for some reason still backs me with everything I do and produce even when it pushes the boundaries a little too much. I also want to thank the good Doctor, who has been supporting me since day one and who has always believed in me and gave me this platform to make music and to push the boundaries that Paul has to deal with. My daughters, my biggest inspirations. And of course, I’d like to thank the beautiful lady who presented this award to me tonight. I may not show it publicly but I am my happiest when I’m with you and I cannot thank you enough for that.”

I blinked away the tears forming in my eyes as I clapped along with the audience. The music started playing as Marshall offered me his arm to walk me off the stage. I felt like I was floating on cloud nine as we walked down the stairs and backstage, away from the cameras and the thousands of people watching us, both in person and on TV.

We were greeted backstage by other presenters and winners who were still mingling and celebrating their wins. Marshall was congratulated and a few of the other presenters told me how well I did with my presentation. I was proud of myself for getting through it, but I was more proud that I didn’t go completely airheaded after Marshall kissed me.

When we finally got away from the large amount of people, Marshall pulled me in for another kiss.

“So much for keeping it lowkey, huh?” I teased when I pulled away.

“I was caught up in the moment,” he said with a shrug, but I wasn’t completely convinced.

“That speech was uncharacteristically sweet,” I said. “For your public persona anyways. I figured you’d keep it short and sweet and maybe get the show into a little bit of trouble with an unplanned curse word.”

He chuckled. “Well normally that would be how things go. But I meant what I said during my speech: you make me the happiest I’ve ever been. When you said my name I just couldn’t help but feel this unfamiliar surge of happiness and excitement at winning. You know I don’t care about these types of award shows, but the fact that you presented this award to me made me care for just a second. I know I’ll be the talking point for the next few days because of this, but right now I don’t care all that much.”

Tears were welling in my eyes again as I pulled him back to me. “Shut up, you’re gonna ruin my makeup.”

His laugh filled my ears as he pulled me for another kiss. The happiness he said he felt coursed through my veins too. I couldn’t imagine being with anyone else in a moment like this.

When he pulled away he put his arm around me again and started to walk towards the door. “Let’s get out of here. I think I wanna celebrate my win with the most beautiful girl I’ve ever met.”

I smiled brightly at him. “I like the sound of that.”

#eminem #eminem imagine #eminem x reader #marshall mathers #marshall mathers imagine #marshall mathers x reader #imagine #one shot #request #fanfiction #fanfic #fandom

[mackenzielovee]

princess - rafe cameron

a/n: this was a request from @gpiggy98 I hope I did your idea justice! please let me know if you enjoy!

Summary: You've got a crush on Rafe Cameron, but being from two different sides of the island, you know you have to keep it in.

Warnings: swearing, kissing, mentions of buying/consuming drugs

my writing

The Cut is your side of the island. It belongs to the Pogues. You and your friends don't like seeing any of the Kooks on your side of the island for any reason - which is why you can never understand the feeling that happens in your chest when you pull up to Barry's and see Rafe Cameron's bike sitting out front.

You buy weed from Barry for you and your friends - mainly JJ. He smokes a lot. And JJ always sends you to get more from Barry because you push your boobs up before you go in and wind up walking out with more weed for less money. Barry's a classic man, easy to manipulate with your body.

You walk up to the porch of Barry's place, seeing he and Rafe standing there, talking. You walk up and open the door, watching as the two of them turn around to look at you. Barry smiles, but you're too focused on Rafe's smirk when he sees you.

"Hey, boys," you greet.

"Afternoon, girly," Barry's still smiling at you, staring at the low cut top you have on.

"Hey, princess," Rafe teases you.

"Don't call me princess," you tell him, purposely using your pointer finger to tap on his chest. He smirks wider as you touch him.

"Sorry," he says, "Sweetheart."

You glare, but Barry starts talking before you can shoot back a response.

"Here for your usual?"

You nod, letting out a small 'yeah', watching Barry slip off into the trailer to get your shit.

"You still smoking Barry's shitty ass weed?" Rafe asks you, taking a seat and keeping his eyes on you.

"It's not shitty ass weed," you say, crossing your arms over your chest.

"Hmm," Rafe hums, "You sure do buy a lot of weed for one girl."

You look over at him and grin, "How come you're paying attention to my orders?"

Rafe shakes his head, breaking eye contact with you for the first time to glance at the floor. You caught him.

"It's not all for me," you continue, "It's for my friends."

"Ah," Rafe looks up again, "JJ Maybank, right? Something going on between the two of you?"

You make a disgusted face at him, immediately answering his question, "Hell no. He's my best friend."

"You can fuck your friends," Rafe grins.

You roll your eyes, "You can fuck anyone."

Rafe stands now, a playful smirk dancing on his lips as he steps over to you.

"Yeah?" he asks, his voice raspy.

"Oh hell no," Barry says from the doorway, "You two gotta get a room for that shit."

You and Rafe both are staring, not being able to get enough of one another. He breaks away first, sitting down on the couch again.

Barry steps over to you and hands you your shit, then mumbles out a number to you. You hand him the cash, then say thank you quickly.

"Well, I would've charged you less if it was me you were flirtin' with," Barry tells you, smirking.

"Maybe next time," you pat him on the shoulder.

"Go smoke that shitty ass weed, sweetheart," Rafe teases you, "We'll see you here in a few days."

You turn to him, laughing lightly at his comment. He smiles, happy he made you laugh.

"Count on it, Cameron. Thanks, Barry," you nod to him, then turn around and walk toward the door.

"And, hey," Rafe calls after you, you don't turn around, "If you're ever looking for something stronger, my door's always open. Princess."

He adds the last part just to get a reaction out of you, so you don't give him one. You bite your lip to hide a smile, then walk out without even glancing at him. You hear Barry say something to Rafe once you're off the porch, but you can't make it out.

You make it back to John B's  house quickly with the weed, tossing it to JJ to start rolling up.

"Yo, thank God," JJ smiles when it falls into his lap, "How much?"

"Twenty," you reply, "I even pushed my boobs up, too."

JJ snickers, "Damn, that usually works."

Kie rolls her eyes, unable to understand why you allow JJ to use you to get drugs for him because of your body. John B comes out onto the porch, greeting you.

"Pope, you gonna smoke with us, brother?" JJ teases him, knowing Pope doesn't smoke.

"Keeping the signal clear, JJ," Pope replies, keeping his nose in his book out on the hammock.

"Rafe was there," you tell them, trying to keep your expression emotionless, so as not to give away your little crush on him.

"Asshole," JJ mutters under his breath.

Your eyes shoot up and look at the blonde boy, who's too busy focusing on rolling a joint to notice. You shrug, gaining the attention of Kiara.

"He's not that bad," you say.

"Did he say anything to you?" Kie asks, her voice sounding like she's ready to kick Rafe's ass if he had done anything bad.

"He told me Barry sells shitty weed," you mumble.

You almost regret bringing it up, always forgetting that your friends hate him so much. Every run in with the Kooks has mostly involved Topper - like the night Topper and John B fought at the beach. Rafe wasn't even involved.

"What the fuck would Rafe Cameron know about weed?" JJ snickers, "And why is he even chilling with Barry?"

"I think he does some harder shit," you speak up, ignoring Kiara's lingering stare, "That's the impression I got, anyway."

Kiara's glare turns into a smirk as you look down at your lap again, fumbling with the hem of your shirt.

"You sure do know a lot about him," Kiara says, her smirk only widening when your cheeks turn pink.

You just shrug, not really knowing what to say to defend yourself. Kie lets it go, thankfully, you just sit back and wait for JJ to deliver you a blunt. When he finally hands it to you, you hope and pray that you can smoke away a crush.

You spent the night at John B's and then hung out in the morning, taking off for your house later on in the afternoon. John B offered to drive you, but you told him it was fine. You could tell he wanted to go out on the boat with JJ, anyway.

The walk turns brutal quickly. It's humid as hell and you can feel sweat greasing your forehead only a few steps in. It's not too far of a walk, you keep telling yourself.

The sound of a car coming behind you doesn't even phase you at first. You just keep going, reaching up to wipe sweat from your neck. As you hear it get closer to you, you spin around and glance, noticing the truck. And the boy in the driver's seat.

"Hey, princess," Rafe smirks as he rolls the window down, "Need a ride?"

You stop and take a deep breath, taking in the sight of him and realizing your crush is not going away any time soon.

"Is it that obvious?" you reply, wiping sweat from your forehead.

Rafe smirks, "Get in."

You sigh and nod, then walk around the front of the truck to hop in the passenger side. You see the grin on Rafe's face and shake your head, wondering what the hell he's thinking.

"What are you even doing on our side of the island?" you ask him once you're inside.

"Heading to Barry's," he replies.

He tears his eyes away from you and puts the truck in drive, intentionally reaching out and setting his hand on the headrest of your seat. You notice him move out of the corner of your eye, but you don't mention it to him.

"You're there a lot," you state, then silently curse yourself for making such an obvious observation.

"He gives me drugs a lot," Rafe laughs, but it sounds more sarcastic to you than funny.

Silence falls over the car, as you don't really know what to say in response. You can tell Rafe feels uncomfortable with it because he starts shifting in his seat.

"So," Rafe starts up again, "Are you going to the movie thing tomorrow night?"

You steal a glance at him, and he steals one at you, so you both look away. Rafe tries to hold in a smile, and so do you.

"Yeah," you reply, "All of us are. Take a left up here."

Rafe nods his head, glancing over at you again, "All of us?"

"Yeah, all of us," you repeat, finally gaining the courage to look at him again. You smirk, knowing he wants to know who that entails, but aren't telling him. He grins at you and shakes his head.

"Maybank? John B? That nerdy kid?"

"His name is Pope," you correct, laughing when Rafe rolls his eyes.

"Okay, whatever. But you're going?" he questions.

"Yes," you reply, smiling at him when he looks over at you.

"Maybe I'll see you there," he's teasing you now, and you know it.

You don't answer him, which you know will drive him crazy, you just look back out onto the road and then point.

"Take a right up there, and then it's the third house on the left."

Rafe nods and obeys your instructions, not saying anything else about movie night. When he pulls up in front of your driveway, he shuts the truck off completely.

"You know," he starts, "You could come to Barry's with me. Hang out. Try some better shit than that fucking weed."

You laugh and shake your head as you reach over and hit him on the shoulder. He takes a risk and reaches up as you do this, grabbing your hand and taking it in his.

"I mean it," he says, his voice more serious than it was before.

You stare at him, at his eyes, and your face drops from the laughter. You can feel his skin on yours, and you'd be lying if you said you hated it.

"I can't," you say finally, "I haven't been home in, like, two days."

He looks at you, confused, then his eyes drop and he releases your hand.

"You've been with them," he figures out, "Which one are you with, then, if not Maybank?"

You look at him like he's crazy, but he refuses to look up at you again. He's just staring at the spot on the seat of the truck that has a stain on it.

"I'm not with any of them," you tell him.

You watch his eyes slowly glance up to look at you, trying to figure out if you are serious or not.

"But you're sleeping there?"

"On the couch," you tell him, then add, "Alone."

He nods his head, still not entirely convinced. You're not sure why you even feel the need to explain yourself to him, because you know it's none of his business. But, for some reason, you just really care about what he thinks.

"Have you ever done anything with any of them? he asks, his voice quiet.

"No," you say, your voice strong, "And I wouldn't, either."

"Okay."

You aren't sure what to say or do, so you just reach out and grab the door handle to get out of the truck.

"Thank you for the ride," you tell him.

"Anytime," he gives you a small smile.

You pull open the door and hop out, then look up to him again before you close the door.

"So, see you tomorrow night?" you ask.

Rafe breaks out into a grin after that. Of course, his smile makes you smile.

"Absolutely, princess," he's laughing now.

You roll your eyes and flip him off, then shut the door and start up the driveway. You know he's watching you, so you don't turn around. Just to drive him crazy.

The next night at movie night, you can't help but continue to glance around and see if Rafe has arrived yet. Pope and JJ have been acting strange ever since you all arrived, and to make it worse, John B had bailed on coming.

"Okay, what is with the two of you?" Kiara asks Pope and JJ as they keep looking over their shoulder.

"Nothing, Kie, Jesus," JJ mutters.

"Really? Because it seems like you fucked up," she snaps back. She knows better than to believe JJ when he says nothing is wrong.

"Kiara, please," Pope says, a fearful look in his eye. Kie just rolls her eyes in response, telling herself that what she doesn't know can't hurt her.

"I'm going to get something to drink," you stand, "Anyone else?"

"Coke, please," Kiara says, holding up cash in the air for you to grab.

"Boys?" you ask, but they're too busy whispering to each other, so you walk away.

The second you get a place in line, you see him. He's with Topper and Kelce, of course, but you can't help raking your eyes over him. He looks so good to you, and you're not used to that. He glances over and sees you just a second later, catching you red handed. He says something to the boys and then starts walking toward you, immediately making your stomach flip.

"Hey," he says once he gets to you, "What's up?"

You shrug, trying to play it cool, "I'm on drink duty."

Rafe smiles, and you watch as he then glances over at your friends.

"Hey, uh, JJ and... um," he trails off.

"Pope," you remind him, watching as he snaps his fingers once you tell him.

"Pope, yes, um, JJ and Pope didn't happen to mention anything to you about what they did, did they?" he asks, staring at you for any sign of deception.

"What are you talking about?" you say, staring right back.

Rafe quickly shakes his head and changes his expression, "Nothing. Just curious."

"What-" you start, but Topper comes up behind Rafe and interrupts.

"Excuse me," Topper grins, and you can tell without even smelling him that he's been drinking, "Do you mind if I borrow him? Dude, super hot girls, ten o'clock."

You look down at the ground, breaking your stare with Rafe. You don't hear Rafe say anything, but after a second, Topper pulls him away.

"What are you doing, talking up a Pogue?" you hear Topper ask him as they walk off.

You can't help but feel slightly hurt that after all of the daydreaming you did about seeing Rafe here, that that was all you were going to get. You know Topper is an asshole, but you never imagined Rafe would be, too.

You get the drinks and popcorn for yourself, the return back over to the boys, but before you can even sit, JJ grabs your arm and pulls you down.

"Why were you talking to Rafe?" he asks you, his voice urgent.

"He was asking me if I'd heard from Barry," you lie quickly, "Why?"

You want to know what the hell is going on, but you want the truth from the boys.

"No reason," Pope says, waving you off.

You send a glance to Kiara, silently telling her that something is going on. You know it must be bad if the two of them are keeping secrets from you and Kie.

"Liars," you mutter, but they're too wrapped up in themselves to hear.

You go and sit by Kie, not even noticing that Rafe and his friends have chosen to sit directly behind you guys. You feel something hit your back, and when you turn, Rafe is smirking widely at you. Popcorn lies in the grass just behind you. You glance at Topper and notice that he and Kelce are both turned around talking to girls, which is probably the only reason Rafe is trying to get your attention.

You know you can't speak, because his friends and yours will all hear. So, instead, you take some of your popcorn and throw it back, careful that Kiara is still staring at her phone. Rafe laughs and moves to the side, avoiding your throw. He throws one pieces at you, and while you're busy ducking from that one, he tosses another one. It hits you, making him laugh loudly.

Of course, that attracts attention. You hear Pope gasp beside you, and then he and JJ frantically whispering to one another. Topper turns around, too, eyeing you. He punches Rafe in the arm and mutters something, but you can't hear it. When Topper goes back to the girls, Rafe rolls his eyes and shrugs at you.

Before you can silently respond, Kiara turns and looks to you, which makes you face forward to avoid suspicion.

Once the movie begins, you relax. You finally have something to focus on other than the fact that Rafe is six feet away from you. Throughout the movie, you can feel pieces of popcorn hit your back every so often, and occasionally, you pretend to glance over your shoulder and fire one back. With all of the eyes looking around the two of you, you know you have to be careful.

About halfway through the movie, JJ and Pope get up and start to walk away.

"Where are you going?" Kiara whispers to them.

JJ turns around, "We gotta piss."

Kiara looks at you and makes a face, wondering if you found it as weird as she did.

"Are you gonna hold it for each other?" she hisses.

"Shut up, Kie," JJ replies, rolling his eyes.

You shrug at her, turning your attention back to the movie. It dawns on you that you haven't felt anything hit you in a minute, so you glance slightly behind you to see what's going on. You half spin turns into a whole spin around when you notice that Rafe and the boys aren't sitting there anymore. You turn to Kie and point, silently asking her what the hell is going on.

"Something's definitely wrong," you say to her.

You both stand up and head off into the direction the boys went, which is behind the screen of the movie. The tree they had gone to has nobody near it, so you start looking around. That's when you hear it.

"Topper, get off of him!"

"Over here," Kie grabs your arm and pulls you, heading in the direction that the voice came from.

Once you both get behind the screen, you see the boys. They're punching and yelling like crazy, and while you know you should be worried about JJ and Pope, all you can look for is Rafe. Pope and Rafe are going at it, but all you can see is Pope hitting Rafe, not the other way around. Kiara jumps in and goes to help JJ, so you run to Pope.

"Y/N!" Pope yells out to you, his voice relieved.

"Get off of him, Pope!" you yell, grabbing ahold of his shirt and yanking him away.

Pope stares at you, confusion and betrayal written all over his face. Rafe backs up, wiping blood from his lip and nose. A fire erupts on the movie screen, making the other boys stop and let go of JJ.

"What the fuck!" Pope screams at you, "Why are you protecting him?"

Topper rushes over and grabs ahold of Rafe, Kelce not far behind.

"Let's get out of here, man," Topper tells him, but Rafe holds back.

"I'm sorry," you say to Pope, but it seems to fall on deaf ears. JJ steps over beside Pope, bloody and beaten.

"Why did you do that?" Pope presses. You look around at your friends, not even bothering to look at Rafe.

"Pope-"

"No fucking bullshit, Y/N. Why the fuck would you pull me off of him?"

"Because I care about him, all right?" you shout, blowing up without even meaning to, "I'm falling for him and I fucked up, Pope."

Kie joins the boys, and you watch as they all stare at you like a complete stranger. You hear Topper crack up behind you, but the tears are already stinging your eyes at this point. You're sure Rafe and the boys will run off and laugh about this whole thing.

So, instead, you decide to take off first. You turn away from your friends and look to Rafe only for a second before you run away from all of them.

"Aww," you hear Topper snicker.

You make it far quickly, not stopping for anything. The tears are really falling now, and there's nothing you can do to stop them. You just want to get back to your house, fall asleep, and never think about this night again. You curse yourself for being so stupid in the first place. Someone like Rafe Cameron could never have feelings for you.

"Y/N!" you hear, but you don't stop until you hear it again.

You turn around and wipe your cheeks and eyes out, not knowing what to think when you see Rafe rushing toward you. You swallow, scared he's going to make fun of you.

"Hey," he says once he reaches you, "You run pretty fast."

"Well, tell Topper it comes with being a Pogue," you snap, embarrassed that your voice comes out nasally because of the crying.

"Hey, now," Rafe reaches out and grabs onto your arms, which confuses you. After what you just admitted, how could he want to touch you?

"Rafe-" you start, but he shakes his head.

"Don't you dare apologize," he says, his voice soft, "I haven't even told you how I feel yet."

Your eyes grow wide as he speaks, but you're sure he'll just tell you that you two are better off friends. How could he not?

"You don't have to say anything," you say, sounding ashamed. The last thing you want is to have the pity conversation with him.

"Yes, I do," he says, bringing one hand up to your face to tuck a piece of hair behind your ear, "I feel the same way. Honest. I never, ever stop thinking about you-"

"If you're lying-" you start, but he hushes you.

"I'm not, all right? Why do you think I hang out at Barry's so much? It's because I never know when you're coming around, and the last thing I wanna do is miss you when you do. Believe me, Barry's not that cool to hang with."

You laugh, and it somehow seems to make all the tension in the air go away. Rafe grins at you and pulls you in by the back of your neck for a hug, allowing him to breathe in your scent.

"I think we should give it a shot," he states, speaking softly against your head. You can feel his lips moving against your scalp, and it oddly relaxes you.

"Really?" you ask, practically melting Rafe's heart.

"Absolutely, princess," he smirks, giving you a short kiss on the top of your head.

You look up at him and he looks down at you, and before either of you know it, he's shoving you back against a tree with his lips on yours. Everything about him seems to intoxicate you - better than any shitty ass weed Barry can provide. Rafe's lips against yours make you feel like you're on the best high of your life.

After a few minutes, Rafe breaks the kiss and stares down at you, observing your pink lips.

"You with me?" he asks you, catching his breath.

"Hell yes," you reply, letting your lips fall in the same spot as they sat before.

With him.

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[prince-septimus]

bathroom break

pairing : rick flag x bartender!reader

summary : a team of criminals and a colonel wearing a cowboy hat walk into a bar.

word count : 2.4k

warnings : smut, 18+, minor spoilers for the suicide squad

You had spotted them the moment they walked in -- they stuck out like a sore thumb. The rag-tag group of men and the woman with the rat on her shoulder. 

Nothing surprised you anymore, so you paid them no mind. 

Not until the man in the cowboy hat stepped up to the bar. 

It was a while after they arrived -- all crowded into a table not meant to fit the three giant men in the group, let alone all five of them. They had started off slow, a couple of shots, and then they were all splitting off. You could see a few of them on the dance floor, all clearly lost in their own little world.

The bar isn’t particularly crowded tonight. There’s a few regulars, but nothing that keeps you too busy. That’s why you’re able to spot him stepping up to the counter, a beer bottle in hand as he offers you a cheap smile. 

 He’d be hard to miss even if you had been distracted. 

“What can I get you?” you ask, your hands toying with the rag in your hands as you watch the man carefully. There’s something about him that puts you on edge, and you’re not quite sure yet if it’s a good or bad thing.

“Another beer,” he tells you, his teeth flashing in the neon lights of the bar. There’s a faint drawl to his voice, and you can tell the alcohol he’s drank has caused it to drop. “And a one-way ticket out of here.”

“Not the party type?” You take the bottle from his hands, quickly replacing it with another. “Could’ve fooled me.”

His lips turn up. “It’s the hat, ain’t it?”

There’s a slight hint of a smile on your face. 

He shakes his head as he takes a pull from the fresh bottle. “Ladies love the hat.”

You busy yourself with wiping down the counter, trying not to think too much into his words. “What’s your name, cowboy?”

Another smile, this one cocky and full of confidence. “That’s classified.”

You make a face. “You really think I’d tell on you?”

“No, but I do think you could get me into quite a bit of trouble.”

The heat courses through your body so quick, and you’re suddenly very aware of everything about this man: the arrogance with which he wears his combination of a cowboy hat and ratty t-shirt, the cocksure smug he sports across his face, and the way he’s looking at you right now. 

Something about him reminds you of men you’ve thrown out before, ones who had gone a little too far and had gotten a little too handsy, but there’s something that tells you this man wouldn’t do either of those things unless requested.

Another swig of his beer, and then the bottle is empty. 

“Rick Flag.”

You raise a brow. “Flag? How patriotic.”

“There’s more truth in that statement than I’d like.”

“You’re a soldier?”

“Used to be.”

“And now?”

It’s the first time you see something other than his brash personality show through. There’s something almost like regret etched into his features. “Something like that.”

You frown, feeling the conversation taking a turn that you don’t like. Conversations with bartenders are meant to be pleasant -- something to calm your foggy mind and fuel your drunken desires. 

You briefly wonder if he’s drunk.

“Had enough?” you ask, motioning to his bottle. 

That smug look returns. “It takes a lot more than a couple of shots and a few beers to get me drunk.”

He gives you a knowing look and you flush at the realization that you had been caught in your motives for asking. 

“Do you want another?”

“I think I’m good.” A pause. “Wanna get out of here?”

“I’m working.” You feel dumb when you say it, but it’s true. 

It makes Rick laugh. “Okay. What about the bathroom? You do get bathroom breaks, don’t you?”

You glance at the restrooms in the corner. “Anybody who knows better knows not to use our bathrooms.”

“Even better.” Rick grins. “Then they’ll know it was an emergency.”

You feel your mouth fall slack, trying to take in Rick’s sudden forwardness. You know there’s a possibility at losing your job over this, but you couldn’t be the first employee to fuck a patron, right?

Maybe the first to fuck one in the bar’s bathroom.

The space is stuffy and smells faintly of stale piss -- a good sign that you won’t be disturbed. One of the overhead lights is busted, its bulb shattered and littered across the tiled floor. You’re not sure who last cleaned in there, but in no way is anything sanitary and up-to-code. 

That doesn’t stop Rick from lifting you up onto the bathroom sink and kissing you so hard your head smacks into the mirror behind you. You let out a groan at the quick pain that courses through your head, but Rick swallows the sound and attempts to pull something sweeter from you. The brim of his hat tips back as you kiss, and you absentmindedly push it off, letting it fall to the floor before his shirt follows.

You push him away just enough to admire his exposed skin -- his broad chest and tattooed arms. When you meet his gaze you can see that confidence still hidden there. 

You reach for his jeans, yanking on the button and zipper and trying your best to push them down. Rick takes the opportunity to attach his mouth to your neck, sucking a bruise into the underside of your jaw as he takes over for you, kicking his shoes off and pushing his pants down in one quick movement. 

“You’ve got too many clothes on,” he breathes against your skin, “not fair.”

You push on his chest again before yanking your own shirt off, throwing it into the growing pile on the floor. Rick reaches around you, deftly releasing the latch of your bra and pulling the fabric from your body. As his lips land on your bare shoulder, light kisses pressed into your skin, Rick reaches down to undo your jeans. 

The next moment is the most awkward, and there’s laughter from both of you as Rick deftly pulls your shoes off before you try to lift up enough for your pants to follow. He struggles to pull the tight fabric from around your waist, but finally gets them off. It’s awkward and clumsy and there’s something oddly intimate about it.

And then Rick’s fingers are against the growing wetness of your panties and you’re crying out against his mouth at the stimulation. 

“Yeah, that’s it,” he drawls against your lips, “so wet for me already.”

His fingers smooth up and down the fabric, giving enough stimulation to make you feel something, but not enough to get off. You push a hand through his hair, trying to coax some sort of sound from him to mix with your own, and with a slight yank on the hair at the nape of his neck, Rick is groaning out loud. His eyes shut as his hand against you picks up speed, rubbing more earnestly now. 

Just as you feel the hint of something start to grow, Rick pulls his hand away, a smirk painted across his face as he looks at your disheveled state. 

“You bastard,” you breathe out, resting your hands on either side of you as you try to catch your breath.

Rick laughs. “I’ve been called worse.”

There’s a lull in the action then, and it takes you a moment to figure out why.

“I don’t have a condom,” Rick says softly.

You smile, wiping at the sweat gathering on your forehead before pointing to the machine in the corner. You’re not sure when they had last been changed out, but you’re sure they’re good enough to use still.

It’s another slightly intimate moment -- you watching Rick fumble with the machine before finally producing a condom and holding it up in success. It’s cute, the grin that forms on his face when he turns back to you. 

“Still okay with this?” he asks, unwrapping the condom before pushing down his briefs to put it on.

You bite your lip at the sight of him, almost forgetting that your own underwear are still on. When you reach to take them off, Rick reaches out to stop you.

“Keep ‘em on,” he tells you gently. He steps back up to the sink, standing between your legs as he reaches a hand down. His fingers skim across the fabric of your panties before he’s hooking into them and pulling them to the side. 

There’s something about the action that turns you on so much you forget to breathe for half a second, and it catches you off-guard when he finally slides into you -- slowly filling you to the brim.

“Good?” he asks, panting slightly, and all you can do is nod as you let the feeling of him inside you completely wash over you.

The first moments are slow, both of you trying to get used to the feel and the position. And then his arms are hooking under your thighs, changing the position slightly and causing him to go almost deeper. You let out a small cry at the sensation as he begins to pick up the speed. 

The mirror shakes with the force that he’s fucking into you with, and it leaves you breathless with each stroke. He’s pressing his lips against yours, but it’s nothing close to a kiss, just two mouths pressing against each other as you both try to get a hold on the feelings. 

It’s all so overwhelming, and you whine into Rick’s mouth as his hands grip your hips and use that hold to push you against him. You can feel the beginnings of your orgasm returning, a little quicker than normal due to the previous stimulation, and you put a hand on Rick’s chest, trying to steady yourself.

“Almost there,” he tells you, his pace turning sloppy.

When you look at him, his pupils are blown out. He moves his hands up to grab your neck, pushing you back against the mirror. The position is more clunky, a little harder to manage, but Rick never stops moving against you as he swipes his tongue into your mouth.

He’s kissing you when your orgasm hits, swallowing your moans as he sets a frantic pace, trying to get himself off. The overstimulation hits like a truck, and you’re practically crying out against Rick’s mouth. 

When his orgasm hits, he falls against you. You absentmindedly wrap your arms around his shoulders as he buries his face into your shoulder, groaning out as he finishes inside the condom. You hadn’t noticed a chill to the bathroom before, but now you can feel it creep up along your skin and you try to use Rick’s body against yours to keep warm.

“You were right about these bathrooms,” Rick says a few minutes later when both of your chests have stopped heaving. He lifts up slightly from you, glancing around the dingy bathroom before carefully pulling himself out of you. The action causes both of you to let out a hiss at the sensitivity, and then you’re making a choked noise when Rick lets his fingers brush across your slit before he pulls your panties back into place. 

“Cheeky,” you breathe out, “very cheeky.”

“I try.” He gives you a quick wink as he reaches down to grab at the pile of clothes across the floor. “You think they’re still clean enough to wear?”

“They’ll have to be,” you chirp, taking your clothes and shoes from his arms. 

It’s the last intimate moment of the night, the two of you getting dressed beside each other in a dirty bar bathroom. Rick bumps his shoulder against yours as he pulls his shoes back on and you offer him a giddy grin. You snatch his hat from the floor, pretending to brush the dirt off the brim and placing it atop his head. Rick smiles at you, a smile that’s less cocky and more saccharine. You reach for the door after the two of you finish getting dressed, carefully pushing it open to look around the bar. It’s slowly emptying as the night goes on, but there’s still enough people to not make it so obvious when the two of you slip out from the bathroom.

“It’s not the worst walk of shame I’ve done,” you comment, taking pleasure in the way Rick’s brows shoot up as he follows you back to the bar. 

“I’m shameful now, am I?”

“More like shameless.” You take your position back behind the bar as Rick takes the seat across from you. When you look out into the dimly lit room, you spot the group Rick had originally come in with. “I think your friends are onto you.”

Rick follows your gaze, offering a small wave to the group when he spots them. “They’ll be fine. Everyone’s got to use the bathroom once in a while, right?”

The look Rick gives you then sends you into a fit of giggles. “Bathroom break. Sure.”

Rick waits for you to settle down before he’s giving you that sweet smile from earlier. 

You look at him strangely. “What?”

“I had fun,” Rick tells you, “wouldn’t mind doing it again next time I’m around.”

You scoff playfully, “I bet you wouldn’t.” You still reach for a pen and scrap piece of paper, quickly scribbling your name and number down and handing it to Rick.

Rick stares at the paper for a second before he says your name, a small twang in his voice. It occurs to you that you previously hadn’t given your name, and he's grinning at you like a mad man. “At least now I know who’s name to call out next time.”

Rick leaves you with that, heading back to his friends who all give him a pat on the back as he passes. There's a heat in your face from his words that you’re not sure will ever go away.

#an alternative ending to that bar scene in the suicide squad #aka my attempt at giving rick some fucking happiness #its what he deserves james gunn #rick flag x reader #rick flag #rick flag imagine #the suicide squad #the suicide squad imagine #the suicide squad spoilers

[cantalouupe]

good boy

nsfw!!! sub!xiao x f!reader

edging, breeding, (very) mild possessive behavior, public sex, praise kink, blowjob, handjob, voyeurism (sort of??), kitty is used as a nickname i think, he’s wearing the collar from this fic

Xiao is a good boy.

Always listens and behaves himself, letting you play with him however you wish. Especially after the collar incident, he’s very pliant, allowing you to do more because you both know he loves it.

Speaking of the collar incident, he hasn’t taken it off since. Every time you see him now, that thick leather band is wrapped snuggly around his neck, with the four golden letters attached glinting whenever the light touches it. Purple splotches adorn the space all around the collar from time spent with you sucking on his skin while riding him until he cries.

His neck, you think, looks like a piece of art. You quite like it that way, and continue to darken the marks anytime they seem to fade.

Today is no different than any day. You go up to the top balcony at Wangshu Inn where he resides and expect to see him gazing out at the sky, looking as pretty as ever, and you’ll get to spend the day together.

Except that’s not where he is at all.

Walking out on him slumped back in a chair with that black collar around his neck and a hand pumping furiously at his cock was far from anything you thought you’d come across him doing, but there he is.

He notices you quick, eyes that are as wide as saucers staring up at you from his spot. You give him a small, teasing look and go to sit in the chair beside him.

It’s quiet for a few moments - his body completely rigid while you relax into your seat - until you break the silence.

“Aren’t you going to show me how to do it?” Of course, you already know, but you’d never miss an opportunity to see Xiao take himself apart.

He does, his hand wrapping back around himself to give a few shaky tugs. Seeing the way his hand shook, he must be nervous - he’s never had anyone watch him get off before.

Once he starts feeling it, though - lips parting for small whimpers to fit out, grip around himself tightening while he moves it faster up and down his length - he seems to calm back down.

You watch him quietly, letting him enjoy himself a little, bask in the feeling of his hand jacking himself off.

He’ll look up once in a while, as if wondering whether you’re still there and looking, but immediately whips his head back down to stare at his hard cock when you meet his eyes.

What a good boy. So sweet and shy despite being taken apart by you nearly every time you visit.

Once his hips start canting upwards and his breaths begin to speed up you stop him, gripping his wrist in order to cease his movements. He’s flushed and his chest rises and falls, hand falling down to his side.

You pat his thigh, “good kitty.”

It’s your turn now, both of your eyes glued to your own hand that turns into a fist and gives one single pull.

“A little dry, don’t you think?” You question, and he makes a noise of confusion when your hand releases his cock. “Need to get it wet.”

A look of realization flashes in his lidded eyes as he watches you lean down to spit onto the head of his length. It runs down the sides, all the way down to drip onto his balls. He shivers and whines at the sensation.

You take your job of getting him nice and slick a step further and lean the rest of the way down to take him into your mouth. Slowly, your head slides down, all the way until your lips touch the base.

“Oh god,” he practically sobs, moving lightning fast to grip at the back of your head. “Oh god oh god oh god oh god-“

You hold your head there as long as you can, his dick pushing against the back of your throat. It’s a lot for him, his hips would be kicking into your mouth if you hadn’t taken him all the way in already. A constant stream of moans leave him while you have your mouth around him.

After a quick decision to have a little fun, your head begins to bob up and down, tongue gliding wet along the side of his shaft. The hands that gripped at the back of your head pushed now, and his hips jumped to get himself further inside your warm mouth.

Again, you let him enjoy it for a while, his noises like music to your ears.

He must have been close from his first edge, and began to climb in volume, alerting you that he was getting close once more.

You indulge him, giving him sucks that had him crying out your name. He got really close this time, thighs and abdominals tensing with the oncoming orgasm.

The sensation of wet lips leave him right in that minute and he almost sobs. Your thumb and pointer go to squeeze the base of his cock, successfully cutting off his orgasm right before it came.

He falls back against his chair, eyes closed shut tight while he catches his breath and tries to go away from the edge. You rub comfortingly at the top of his thigh.

“You got really close there, huh?” He gulps in another big breath and nods in response.

A praise leaves you before you even though about it. “You held on so well. Good boy.”

His cock twitches at that and you grin, giving his thigh a pat.

Really, he is such a good boy. All for you, too - you love it.

When his heavy breathing finally devolves into lighter pants is when you choose to continue pleasuring him. With your hand in a circle shape, you hover right above his length.

“Ready?” You didn’t wait for a response, basking in the sound that rips from his throat when your fist slides down onto him.

This must feel much better than when he first jacked his cock, because the slide is smoother and allows you to create a fast rhythm that has his head falling backwards.

“‘S good, ‘s so good.” He moans so prettily with your hand around him, crying out pleas for more whilst his hands find purchase on the arms of the chair.

“Yeah?” You ask, closing your hold on him a little tighter. “It’s good? I bet you’re already close, huh?”

You didn’t need to ask that, already knew he could probably come any minute - but the way he reacts to your words, the way he answers your questions makes you speak often.

“Mnh-“ Any response he had dies quickly. Glancing up to him, you see his mouth open, moans and words getting caught in his heavy breaths and pants.

“Oh, look at you,” you coo, quickening your pace until his hips were fucking up into your fist and he was tensing with another oncoming orgasm.

Such a good boy, you think while your hand slips up the shaft of his wet cock.

“I can come this time? Please?”

He’s so sweet that you feel a bit bad making him hold back longer. Your hand slows and desperately he shakes his head at you.

“Not yet, kitty.” When he attempts to make your hand speed back up by covering it with his and pulling it up, you let go of him completely.

“So greedy today,” you tut, finger going to tap teasingly at his tip. “We haven’t even gotten to the main event.”

His head perks up a little at that.

Normally, you would straddle and ride him until the two of you were coming, but today you wanted to do things a little different.

Luckily you had brought a blanket along with you the last time you visited him. It had been night, a little chilly and so you had taken a soft fleece-y material blanket in your bag so you could relax on the balcony with Xiao without being cold.

It was folded atop the little table near where you sat, so you snatched it up and laid it out on the wooden balcony floor. It wouldn’t be the most comfortable but it would suffice - you’re sure your level of comfort won’t matter once the two of you finally start what you had planned.

You shed your clothes, fighting a smile when you catch him staring from the corner of your eye. Your head tilts slightly when you turn to face him. “Are you going to join me?”

His eyes were wide and he looked a little distant, but he followed suit, fumbling out of his clothes and joining you onto the blanket you had laid out.

“Kiss me,” you advise, pulling his head away from its spot against your neck, where he’d been sucking and biting at.

“I don’t want to kiss.”

The way his eyes follow your lips tell a different story than his words. He always does that - claims that he doesn’t want to kiss you, as if he’s playing hard to get. As if he doesn’t melt against you right when you place your lips on his.

Unconsciously, his lips chased yours after you pulled away. You laughed into another kiss, murmuring “you’re so needy,” against him.

He whines, not even denying what you told him.

“Kitty,” you call him to attention. “You’re going to do something for me, okay?”

He nods, enthusiastic to do whatever you needed. When you lean down onto your back and spread your legs, though, his brain malfunctions.

“You want to fuck me?”

Xiao hasn’t ever fucked you before. You were always atop him, grinding and riding his cock while he sat brainless and on the edge beneath you. It was somewhat of a reward to him for being such a good boy all the time - you were curious to see how he’d react.

A small shuffle forward, unsure of the new position that put him in some position of control. You widened the space between your legs more to accommodate him, having him slide forward all the way until his cock was resting on top of your cunt.

“Go ahead,” you encourage lightly.

You hear him take a small, steadying breath, before you feel the press of his head against your hole. You’re wet and ready for him so he slips in without a hitch.

As soon as he’s inside, he can’t seem to stop the noises he makes. “Wet, n’ tight, it’s so good- I-“

His hips slid back and bumped forward and he let out a long moan.

“I won’t last. I’ll come, I’ll come.”

A small coo, reaching out to wrap your hand lightly around his neck. “Not yet, kitty. Can you fuck me?”

You don’t need to ask him twice. The feel of your hot cunt around his cock is always so much for him, so once he starts thrusting you know he won’t last long.

“You know,” you murmur into his ear, “i was thinking. You should come inside me.”

Even though he always come inside, the thought still has him whimpering out a plea.

“You can breed me,” you add, “and make me all yours.”

That was new. He must like the idea of that, because he pistons in harder, faster, in a way that has your head falling back in pleasure.

“All mine,” he repeats, “all mine.”

“Mhm, all yours.” You regain your composure as best you can so you can continue speaking. “Wouldn’t that be nice? Breed and fill me up so much it’s leaking out. Do you want that?”

You wish there was a way you could record his reaction. He had paused half-thrust, whole body shuddering at the thought of doing what you suggested. It was so sweet, the minute he had to take so he didn’t come right on the spot.

Already, he was close, voice high and loud while he keeps fucking you. You assume he isn’t used to the work it takes to fuck into you repeatedly like this, but he’s doing so well that you give him some sweet praises that mix with your breathy moans.

He’s such a good boy.

“Can I come, c’n I come, please- oh fuck.”

“Aw, you want to fill me up?” He whines high at that, collapsing into you while his hips work hard against yours.

You don’t give him permission, letting him get desperate while you get closer to the edge yourself. For not being experienced in doing the fucking, he was hitting so good inside you, so good that you were clamping down onto his cock.

He was so loud you were surprised no one came up here worried and wondering what was going on - truthfully this has been going on long enough for them to have figured it out.

More please spew from him, and, a little out of it, you nod.

With a few harsh final pushes inside, he releases, and the feeling of his load inside you has you tipping over as well. The rhythmic pulses of your cunt around him, milking him of every last drop makes his hips kick and a pathetic little overstimulated sob leave him.

“Mine,” he says breathlessly to nobody in particular - just voicing it.

What a good boy.

#genshin impact smut #genshin x reader #genshin xiao #sub!xiao #xiao x reader #xiao smut

[deviltoys]

— ‘𝗯𝗿𝗮𝗻𝗱𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗯𝗼𝘆.’

sakusa kiyoomi x top!male reader. (wc; 1.7k)

#a/n: lolol self-indulgent sakusa fic because i wanna breed him so bad. this is painfully horrible and short but hopefully enough to feed everyone for the time being!

warnings. NSFW CONTENT, MINORS DNI, blindfold, overstimulation, breeding k., frat!au, gangbang, dubcon turned con, belly bulge, cum inflation, no aftercare, manipulation, sex slavery, implied somnophila.

joining the most prominent fraternity on campus was the last thing on his mind. sakusa struggled immensly when it came to social interaction, he even took extra precautions to avoid having to exchange any dialogue between peers. especially a bunch of guild boys who could barely keep their heads attached to their shoulders; but atsumu had somehow convinced him to give it a shot.

according to the miya twin, he needed to push past this boundaries and explore his comfort threshold a little more. the perfect place to do just that? a frat house. who's more loud and rowdy than a couple of douchebag adults trying to assert their alpha-ness by hosting a copious amount of house parties.

as much as he beseeched and argued against it, the frat scene had him hook, line and sinker. and soon, the unbearable pull of charming guys passing around pamphlets for recruitment day had caught up to him.

the hall of residence was a lot more alluring that media would lead on. he was pleasantly surprised by the cleanliness and charm of the home; the parade of shirtless guys crowding around the hobby room only added a sense of authenticity to the whole ordeal.

after he was plucked into the roster of other men trying their hand at slipping a way into the frat life of their dreams. the initiation was on the horizon, and sakusa’s overwhelming social anxiety from the day prior came flooding right back into his system. he had forgotten the most important rule about a brotherhood, proving your worth and loyalty to your new family.

the two paths you could choose to go down were no bed of roses— the first opportunity was to streak and sprint down the length of the campus yard. or a play special game, in which your fellow brothers would surprise you with.

no way in hell would he sacrifice his dignity by stripping down bare and humiliating himself in front of the entire university. his education was on the line, he had a reputation to uphold; the only option was to partake in whatever the sorority had waiting for him.

that's where you came in, merely handing the dark-haired male a piece of cloth to don around his eyes. the last thing he could recall about his surroundings was the eeriely warm yet sadistic expression you gave him— his vision melting into a blur of black when the blindfold made contact his skin.

“just find a place to sit on one of the couches, my brothers’ll be with you soon.” your tone was low and gravely, the remainder of his senses were heightened due to his loss of vision. his ears exploding with your voice and your voice only, he felt the flesh on his cheeks bleed from pink to red; praying you wouldn't notice his shift in attitude.

“ye- yeah.. okay, thanks.”

your footsteps faded into the backdrop, signalling him to begin his search for the couch. he'd rather die than have you watch him scramble around the room like a headless chicken. he stumbled around a little, as predicted— bumping into furniture here and there before his hips knocked into a pool table frequently used for beer pong.

his hands feel around the object in an attempt to slip past it, amongst all the chaos he's experiencing he's dimly aware of the presence of a group of people. the scuffling of shoes against the hardwood floors only solidify his suspicions, but before he's able to call out to you; or anyone. heavy pressure is placed atop his shoulder blades— the curve of hips lace into the divit of his ass until he's pressed against the table.

the silence drifting around the open space between your bodies isn't broken, nobody dare mumbles a sound. your broad palms slink up the underside of his shirt, keeping a painfully slow pace up his chest until your fingers pinch the first nipple they come in contact with. your free hand snakes around his hip and dips into the hem of his jeans before making it's way into the waistband of his boxers.

his body shudders desperately, thighs bucking forward as your fist pumps around the length of his twitching cock. by the time he can gasp out a flurry of winces, two fingers that weren't there previously, poke and prod around his rim. devilishly forcing his walls to mold around them and shape room for a few more.

both of your hands now find a home around his hips. your groin, which is positioned at his rear, ruts the outline of your erect bulge against his ass— plowing the multitude of fingers already planted inside of him, deeper. this only entails that the fingers now wrapped around his cock, teasing his chest, and sinking into the depths of his rectum all belong to a different set of people.

he once more unclamps his jaw to sputter out more nonsense, only moaning once the warm, wet agitation of lips suck a dark mark into the curve of his collarbone. he's overcome with bliss, marveling in the way each frat member simultaneously toys with his sensitive body.

an abundance of hands fumble with his zipper, unbuckling the leather around his waist— unlooping the material before tossing it aside. you shove his pants down past his calves, releasing your grip on him so that you're able to abandon your own set of clothes. there's more rustling of clothes and clinking of belt buckles and your hands return to him once more, binding his arms and shoulders while gently bending him onto the table.

bracing for impact, he's pleasantly astonished when his chin and shoulders sink into something soft and pillowy. you were kind enough to replace the hard surface beneath him with one of the sofa cushions, strengthening his trust in you.

with his body now calm and relaxed with aura around the six of you, you take a few moments to prepare your cock to breed your good little fuck toy.

hot breath teases the meek, male’s ear; your monstrous cock pressing into puckered hole only making the lewd torture of the situation worse.

“miya told us you'd like to become our little breeder sakusa, we've had our eye on you for awhile. is this true? do you want us to pump your little womb full of our children?”

atsumu? he was the one who had him in this position, such a trusted friend making him seem special enough to catch the attention of these compassionate boys? maybe he was born to be a slave for cock. atsumu wouldn't lie to him, would he?

oh poor kiyoomi, if only he saw right through that twisted facade.

you growl into the shell of his ear, he figures that you're the one who's bending over his back; threatening to breach his fertile hole. being the head of the frat, you got first dibs on all the fresh meat brought in, it's sad you'd have to share this one with your brothers.

there's nothing sakusa has to resist with, he whimpers out a few noises before you're rewarded with a barade of nods. a rise of chuckles and quiet exclamations from the group feed through his brain— apparently all of your peers are patiently waiting for their own couple of minutes with him. silent vulgarites phase past your teeth as you impatiently card a hand through his thick curls. plunging into the boy with one fluid motion, your cock vanishes from sight, disappearing inside of his stomach.

his ebony iris’ screw shut behind the blindfold. you can feel the way his womb parts just for your cock, the slimey g-spot of his is completely ignored as you push past it; the fat head of your cock mercilessly drilling into his belly. your cock is on full display, the layers of flesh seperating you from the outside world bend and jiggle around the outline of your shaft.

“i sure do hope you have enough room for all of our cum in there.” your thrusts don't falter, not daring to give his poor, ruined prostate a breather. “because we're not stopping until every single one of us has had a chance to knock you up!”

with those final words rolling off your tongue, your hips snapped long and harsh strokes into his twitching hole— cum bursting at the seams of your slit, balls tightening and enlarging as the pent up pleasure and lust readied the fat sacks for release. sakusa feels his tummy bloom with the first batch of warmth, sticky ropes of seed shoot right inside. perfectly filling him up in preparation for the next cock eager to breed his tight ass!

so wonderful, his womb feels so full and claimed! a bright and hot flush pools across his face; without warning the next cock sinks even deeper than the last. more of the groups genes passing through him, mating the frat’s new bitch over and over again. he's hit by a wave of orgasms after the second brother slams himself nice and deep, pumping his seed inside him once more. his asshole greedily opening and closing to filter as much thick cum as humanly possible into his intestines. before he's able to come to his senses, he's already chubby with semen; happily inviting the next member to come and breed his stupid body.

the entire night is flooded with sounds of hiccuping, skin on skin contact, and the leaking of cum being deposited right back into sakusa. the incredible feeling of his frat brothers groping and touching him up have him cumming time after time— all night he's shuddering as another orgasm passes through his frame.

once he's positively gushing with cum and reduced to nothing but an overstimulated puddle of arousal— you scoop up his limp, bloated body, collecting the rest of your buddies before carrying him to his very own dorm. labeling his room, the ‘breeding room’. the sorority didn't let him waste a dime of time rejuvenating his body with sleep. they didn't want their new play thing to go to waste; he was awoken multiple times during the wee hours of the night. cock fitted tightly between his lavish cheeks.

he was certainly going to love it here, nothing but a obedient puppet.

#𓉔 — m.list #𓉔 — directory. #𓉔 — works. #c; sakusa #sakusa kiyoomi x top male reader #sakusa kiyoomi x male reader #haiykuu x top male reader #haikyuu x male reader #sakusa kiyoomi #dark haikyuu #haikyuu smut #dark content #male dark blog

[levworship]

cw: dom!reader, fem reader, mommy kink, degrading, dirty talk, oral (fem rec), slight mind break, reader is a lil manipulative. just a bit. probably had errors

summary: you find out while on another blind date with one of mina’s friends that kirishima is just the man for you. he wants to be used, and you’re more than willing to use him.

word count: approx 2.9k

“fuckin’ mina. i’m gonna beat her ass.”

this wasn’t the first time your best friend has tried to set you up with one of her friends. and honestly, knowing her, it more than likely wouldn’t be the last time, either. “but he’s so nice” she’d promise, or “she’s just a little shy,” and perhaps the most common line of “you just have to be a little patient with them”

patient my ass.

your damn patience was beginning to run thinner and thinner the longer you sat waiting at the table for your date to arrive. you’re used to mina’s friends not being the most punctual, but to not show up at all? it was almost insulting. here you were, taking the time out of your busy day to spare some of your sweet time with some rando and—

“hey there, beautiful.” your eyes quickly tore away from the spot you’d been staring at for the past few minutes during your internal rant. part of you wished you hadn’t, because you damn near stopped breathing. typically, you’d never allow a man the satisfaction of hindering you speechless, but fuck. the man before you stood tall and strong, the white fabric of his dress shirt clinging onto his muscles in the most delicious way possible. his hair was slicked up in a style that you could only describe as goofy, and his smile? it was so contagious that you couldn’t help but to toss away the piping hot insults you’d been preparing to shoot his way.

“sorry i’m late. was searching all over town to find these for ya. i know mina said they were your favorite, and well—“ pulling his arms from behind his back, the red-haired man handed you a comically large bouquet of flowers. were they your favorite? no, not at all. but you couldn’t help but to be flattered anyway. “had to look all over town for them. turns out they’re actually pretty hard to find around here. can you believe that?” he chuckled to himself as he scratched at the back of his neck. an unfittingly cute gesture for a man of his build.

you grin sweetly as you grab the bouquet from his large hands, setting them down on the table in front of you and batting your lashes. “these are very beautiful! thank you so much, ...um?”

mina always purposely hid the names of her friends away before setting you up, mostly in fears that you’ll end up googling them and find some not so pretty things, just as you had that time when she tried to set you up with katsuki bakugou. (you noted to yourself that day, stay away from him at all costs.)

“ah- eijirou kirishima!” he filled in for you and held a hand out for you to shake. your eyebrows shot up in realization, leaning forward a bit on the table to shake his hand. you don’t miss the way his eyes shamelessly drift down to your cleavage when you do so. the sight made you laugh.

now you saw why he seemed so familiar at first glance. you’d heard mina talk to you about him on numerous occasions. big, handsome, and dumb. that’s how you’ve always perceived him from listening to her stories and descriptions. and if there was one thing you actually enjoyed about a man, it was how simple they could be. perfect for a woman with your desires.

you open your mouth to return his introduction, but he’s already cutting you off with perhaps a little too much eagerness. “and you’re y/n? did i say that right?” he quirks an eyebrow. “uh- i may have asked mina about you already. a lot.” he flashed you a sheepish smile.

talking to him felt like being a kid in a loaded candy shop. he’d be in the palm of your hand in no time.

the rest of dinner went on moderately better than your previous experiences with these stupid dates. kirishima was a bit of a talker, but you didn’t mind listening if it meant you got to watch the way those puppy dog eyes lit up a little more every time he’d begin telling you a story from his hero work (turns out you were just really behind on the latest hero news), only to quickly become side tracked by one details of his story and trail his way to another mini rant.

finally, you figure you’ve had enough of him rambling. it was time to cut to the point. “does it get lonely?” you asked him suddenly, trying your best to hold in a smile at the way he looked at you confusedly. “i mean- not really? i’m a hero so i’m with people all of the time-“ “that’s not what i meant, red.” hearing you refer to him by his hero name sent visible chills down his spine. just the effect you were wishing to have on him. something about your change in tone knocked him from a highly energetic and charismatic sweetheart, to a blushing and stuttering mess who suddenly couldn’t sit still in his seat. and from just one question, too?

he was almost too good to be true.

“no? i-i mean, yes but... i dunno. i’m busy a lot, a-and i don’t really have time for... yaknow.” “what kind of women do you like? in bed, i mean.” you managed to knock his brain around for a second time as he fumbled around his head for an answer.

“i-i guess it depends?” “hm? what do y’mean?” the way he continued to respond to your nasty questions had you licking your lips. you wanted him. badly. in the most selfish ways possible.

“depends on what the chick is into. i mean- they usually like when i’m on top. but..” you don’t respond this time. instead you look at him expectantly and wait for him to continue his previous statement. something about seeing such a grown man grow so embarrassed that quickly does something to you.

“i guess i wouldn’t mind... having someone take control for once?”

everything from that point felt like a blurred flash. you quickly abandoned the bouquet and called for the bill (which he so generously covered for the two of you) and were stumbling out of the door in no time, speedily walking all the way to your humble apartment. the door had just swung open when you were already shoving him inside.

kirishima spent nearly the entirety of the walk psyching himself up for this. did you know he wanted to experiment with this? had mina told you? how would mina even know? did he even really want this? because by the way he was struggling to catch his breath and connect dots in his mind, maybe he’d gotten too far ahead of himself.

but it was too late for that now. you’d already shoved him all the way down the hall, into your bedroom, and onto your bed before he knew it. you were fierce and impatient. and honestly? he found it quite intriguing.

“red...” you drew him back from falling into his thoughts once again, dragging your knuckles across the rough skin of his cheek. “i said, are you sure you want this?” and he swears he’s never nodded faster in his life, already grabbing onto your waist and hoisting you onto his lap. “yes! yes, i’m sure. please y/n?” and with that, a thread in you snapped.

you pushed him roughly until his head rested comfortably against the pillows, muttering a quick ‘stay’ as you began to fumble with his belt. you’d barely even touched him, yet he still lied staring at you with those same big adoring eyes. he was just too cute for his own good.

it made you want to wreck him.

you practically ripped away his pants and boxers before gently palming at his cock. you had expected him to be big, but not this big. he was long and thick, your hand barely managing to wrap completely around it. wordlessly you crouched down and pressed a gentle peck to his swollen tip, the precum that’d gathered there now sticking deliciously to your lips.

kirishima was getting so restless above you that you could’ve mistaken him for a virgin, hands fisting at your sheets with countless pleas tumbling from his lips. “so impatient, cutie. dont you want to be taken care of?” “i do! i do!” it seemed as if he was completely unashamed of how desperate he must’ve looked right now.

but rather than provide the sweet sweet release you knew he was craving, you tsked and backed away from his cock. much to his disappointment. “you know something, red? i didn’t take you for the selfish type. want me to make you feel good when you haven’t even touched me yet? and i thought you were a gentleman...”

kirishima thrashed below you, fingers digging hard into your hips. “i’m a gentleman! i’ll be a gentleman! i promise!” his lip wobbled cutely. you almost felt bad for having to deny such a pretty face.

almost.

he observed closely as you leaned back on your knees, sliding down the straps of your dress and tugging until your lacy bra was revealed to him. you were going to be the fucking death of him. you couldn’t help but giggle a bit at the way he eyed your chest. “i’ll tell you what.” you said as you reached out and pressed a finger under his chin, forcing him to meet your intense eyes.

“be a good boy for me and maybe, maybe, i’ll let you touch. deal?” and kirishima nodded giddily. truly an obedient little thing, he was.

you gave him a large smile that didn’t quite reach your eyes before patting him on the cheek, moving up to straddle his face and... shit. you weren’t wearing any panties under your dress. the smell of your arousal right in front of his face nearly made him overload, wanting nothing more but to bury his face between your legs until you’re heaving and begging for a break. but he had to be good for you. wanted you to rake your fingers through his hair and call him your good boy while he plays with your pretty tits.

“well? dont you want a tas—” you gasp when his mouth is suddenly on you, every sense of restraint abandoned as his tongue slid across and pressed against your poor clit. it was messy, no real technique behind his frantic movements, but he still had your eyes crossing and your thighs squeezing the sides of his head as ear muffs, his fingers squeezing and prodding at the flesh to keep himself grounded.

the sounds that came from your cunt and his mouth were embarrassingly lewd, the sound of his slurping making your entire body go hot. you were so close to losing your composure and letting him have you the way he wants, but you couldn’t pass up an opportunity like this. not when you’ve been craving this for this long.

“kiri..” you couldnt tell if you were whispering or yelling at this point, brain all scrambled from the amount of pleasure you were receiving. you nearly doubled over from the vibrations of the small ‘hmm’ of acknowledgment he gave you. your fingers tangle themselves in his stiff red locks, holding his face still to allow you to grind yourself on his mouth just the way you wanted.

your breath hitched in your throat each time his nose bumped against your clit, his tongue buried deep in your hole as he was desperate to taste all of your juices. you could already feel your orgasm creeping up on you..

“oh, shit! just like that. good- fuck! such a good boy” the praise sends him into a frenzy, now using the pad of his thumb to rub viciously at your clit as his tongue fucked into you so nicely.

“‘m cumming, cumming, oh my god!” you’re hunched over now, eyes screwed shut when your orgasm suddenly rips through you. kirishima’s tongue continued its assault on your spasming pussy, the overstimulation becoming almost unbearable. you tried everything to get him off of you to make it stop. tugging his hair, lifting yourself up- but nothing seemed to be able to separate him from you until you literally shouted his name.

he released you in an instant and allowed you to back away to fully take in his form. everything about the sight was downright sinful. your juices covered the entire lower half of his face, and his hair remained matted with sweat against his forehead. and most delicious of all? he still looked hungry. you nearly said ‘fuck it’ and climbed back on top of him again...

but he needed to be punished.

and it seemed that he knew this too, because the moment your eyes met he was already begging for mercy. “‘m sorry! p-“ “i thought you promised you’d be a good boy? yaknow, i’m not exactly a big fan of liars, red. how could i let you have me when you can’t even follow simple instructions?” he’s silent at this point, eyes glued to the ground with an unreadable emotion splayed across his face.

you huffed as you climbed off of the bed, standing on wobbly legs with your back turned to him. you shook your head as you quickly slid your dress back into place. you originally planned on leaving it at this and sending him home, and perhaps you’d consider giving him a second shot if he begged you pretty enough. but kiri had other plans.

he wasn’t quite sure what came over him, but when he realized that you were planning on leaving him like that he couldn’t help but to jump up, gripping onto your waist once again. “kiri! what are you doing?” “please.” he whimpered into your ear, hard chest pressing into your back and his painfully hard cock rutting against your ass.

you probably would’ve collapsed right there if it weren’t for his tight grasp. “please don’t leave! ‘m so hard for you. want you so fucking bad. i’ll do anything, just- please let me cum. mommy.” the word rolled off of his tongue so sweetly, so heavenly, you couldn’t stop yourself from shoving him back onto the bed and tearing off his shirt.

you licked your lips when he was left completely bare to you finally, hand already working at pumping his cock. “suck a dirty boy. men like you are scum, you know that? getting so upset that you didn’t get your way after being so disobedient? i should tie you up and edge you for the rest of the night just for that” he began to mindlessly shake his head, muttering quiet a ‘no, no..’

“however,” you began to drag your fingernail across his chest, playing with the hairs that rested there, “think i’m gonna let it slide this time. well, only if you thank me properly..”

“thank you mommy!” the way there wasn’t even an ounce of hesitation or shame in his voice had you clenching around nothing. denying him any longer was beginning to be just as much torture to yourself as it was to him. biting down on your lip, you grabbed his cock and started pressing the tip to your entrance.

you began to feel as though you’ve managed to completely break him, watching as he continued to sputter out ‘thank you’s even as you struggled to take his cock in your dripping cunt. the stretch was nearly unbearable at first, but you were never one to back down from a challenge.

you weren’t going to stop until you knew you’ve completely broken him down into a blubbering mess for you. until you were the only thing he could think of. until you had him quivering and begging just for you. the thought of making him into your slave had you bouncing on his dick with energetic vigor.

kirishima was a sight to behold, too. eyes crossed and occasionally fluttering shut, panting like a dog as every bit of his stamina oozed out of him and he had to hold himself back from cumming too quickly.

at one point you caught his eyes glued on to the way your covered tits bounced while you rode him, still clad in your tight dress. you smirked devilishly before reaching behind your back and unclasping your bra, tugging it down with the dress once again and toying with your puffy nipples for his viewing pleasure.

that seemed to be the final straw for kiri, as he was now bucking up into you like a horny mutt. “gonna cum so hard, mommy. please let me cum in you. g’nna fill you up so good. wanna make you a mommy. i want it- i want it- i want it...” with all of his babbling you weren’t quite sure if he was aware of what he was saying right now, but the lewd words still had you spiraling closer and closer.

“cum in me, baby. be a good boy for mommy and give her your babies, okay?” you told him as you gripped his face in your hands.

and like the obedient little thing he is,, he did exactly that.

thirsts and requests for haikyuu and bnha are open.

#kirishima smut #bnha smut #mommy kink #boku no hero academia smut #mha smut #i’m so sleepy jesus #glad i’m finished doe #my hero academia smut #.chiyo’s works #.chiyo’s works bnha

[kiridarling]

𝐃𝐄𝐍𝐊𝐈, 𝐃𝐄𝐍𝐊𝐈, 𝐃𝐄𝐍𝐊𝐈 (𝐒𝐀𝐘 𝐌𝐘 𝐍𝐀𝐌𝐄)

denki kaminari | escort!denki, f!reader, choking (m!recieving), tongue piercing, face-sitting, switchy themes, but he's on top in the end. minors dni!

— 2.4k words

"Look at you, drooling all over the pillow. I make you feel that good, Sweetheart?"

"Ever had an escort, Cutie?"

The electric blond pulls the belt to his silk robe and it runs off his shoulders like water. The diamond choker with CHARGEBOLT embezzled in gold glistens under the red lights of the private room, and you couldn't feel more out of place.

"I’m going to put this nicely," you run your lips together—as if it isn't painfully obvious, written in the way you shift from foot to foot and fiddle with your thumbs in the doorway. "I don’t want to be here."

Frankly, your friends set you up for this stupid thing. Something about you needing to get out more. If you’re going to be completely honest, you wish the owner of CLUB 777 would get off her high horse and shut this whole loud place down for good—it's disturbing your peace more than you could ever hope for it to.

Chargebolt—you assume—watches you fumble nevertheless, because fucking sue you, he’s wearing nothing but a very tight pair of tighty whities that are colored a simple black instead of white (not shorts—there’s no way in hell those are shorts). His freckled shoulders glisten gold with glittery body lotion, and part of you wonders if he tastes as good as he looks. Fuck. This.

"C'mere, Cutie," Chargebolt beckons you with a curled finger, and you finally figure fuck it. You’re already here and paid for. Once you're close enough, he pulls you down using your chin and cocks his head to the side, canary eyes flickering to your lips. He hums. "You look much better up close."

You try to repress a shiver. It doesn't really work.

"Well?" He says with a smile, "Don't you wanna kiss me?"

You gnaw on your bottom lip, eyes shooting to his. You kind of want to.

"Need me to make the first move, Gorgeous?" Chargebolt purrs, and your teeth dig deeper into your lip as you nod with a frustrated blush. He's nearly smiling against your lips anyways.

Chargebolt kisses hot and fast—lips lighting your body on fire as it sends frissons of electricity up your spine. You find the confidence to push back with something a little stronger, headier—and it has him wantonly moaning into your mouth.

"Fuck," he breathes against your lips as you pull away. You're both out of breath and you're positive you've kissed his lips deep pink, but you suppose that could be the makeup. "You're a better kisser than you look, Cutie."

You narrow your eyes. "Is that an insult?"

Chargebolt chuckles, turning to properly face you on the bed. "It's a compliment."

With that, lips hips are on you again, and so are his hands—grabbing yours to guide them over his glittering chest and to his waist, where he leaves them and flings his arms around your shoulders.

He curses when you trail wet kisses down his neck, teeth nipping in the spots that make his thighs jump. You're sure you're not allowed to leave hickeys so you don't, and it's hard not to get tipsy off the way he trembles underneath you, especially when your thumb pops under the waistband on his boxers.

"Is this—um," you swallow hard. "Is this okay?"

Chargebolt snorts, raising an eyebrow at your sudden shyness and gesturing to exactly where you both are right now and...touché.

With that, you run your hand over his slowly hardening cock through the cotton material. The electric blond nearly recoils, hissing at the sudden move.

"O-Oh," Chargebolt shudders, bucking against your hand. You muffle a grin in favor of grinding your hand a little harder, giggling at his lidded eyes and haggard breath. He pouts as you grip his hipbone to keep it from moving—you want him to take what you give him, and nothing else. "Can't you—can't you at least press a little harder?"

When you shake your head, the electric blond chucks his head back in a groan. The choker around his neck gleams under the neon red lights, which prompts you to place your hand to the back of his neck and tug. His canary eyes round and roll to the back of his head.

"I nee—Can I have you on me?"

Though you're doing all the work, his chest rises and falls with a pant. You climb into his lap with resignation and Chargebolt groans when your clothed cunt drags over him.

"Fuck, just like that Sweetheart," his head lolls to rest on his right shoulder, elbows propped in the pillows before his upper body drops in favor of putting guiding hands around your waist. You hold onto his shoulders for balance as he tugs your hips forwards, though it's not like it helps much. This time, instead of pulling on his choker, you wrap your hand around his neck and though it doesn't wrap all the way around, Chargebolt's breath still hitches under your palm.

"Harder," he wheezes past your grasp. You tighten for Chargebolt to release a broken moan under the pressure and his hips buck so hard they nearly send you flying off his chest.

"Watch it," you say, though it's breathier than you'd like. The sight of him getting worked up pumps your blood faster than you feel like it should, and you find yourself squinting through the light to see if that really is a blush you see dusting his cheeks.

"Right—right sorry," the electric blond rasps once you finally let go of his throat. Licking his lips, his eyes dart to where you're connected before he's pleading, "Can I fuck you? Please?"

"Yeah," you say without hesitation, and Chargebolt guides you over his face, eyes blow wide with lust and desperation. He groans softly at the sight of you splayed over him, hiking up your dress and pulling your panties aside to run a finger through your slit.

"You're soaked, Gorgeous," Chargebolt says, borderline giddy, and you shiver as he flicks your clit, biting his lip. "I might have to make a quick detour."

"I don't like the way you phrased that," you grouse towards the ceiling, and Chargebolt chuckles before adjusting between your legs until his breath ghosts your cunt. It's not until he licks a fat stripe up your slit that you understand how completely and utterly fucked you are, grabbing onto the bedframe in consternation as the cool metal ball sliding between your folds to make you squeal.

He has a tongue piercing.

Chargebolt plunges two fingers into your pussy and you suppress the embarrassment creeping up your neck at how easy the slide is. If your friends told you where you'd be this evening, you wouldn't have wasted all that time masturbating in the shower this morning.

"Ah, ah," Chargebolt tsks when he feels your thighs tense around his head. "You gotta relax for me, remember? Or else I can't make you feel good."

"I'm—" you try, but there's no point in trying to deny it though, is there? "Fuck, fine. I'm trying."

"No, you're not," Chargebolt quips with a giggle and you nearly slap him across the face. You would've done something if he didn't grab you by the hips, wrap his sinfully plush lips around your clit and suck, pulling an eep from the very base of your throat.

"Relax," he moans into your cunt, and when you try to look away he snakes a hand up your chest to seize you by the jaw. You huff but keep eye-contact—mostly because his hand doesn't leave your chin—and he bites into your inner thigh with a groan, making your thighs tense for another reason that isn't stress.

"There you go," he coos, sliding a third finger in with the two others he works into your sopping cunt. You finally start to "relax" or whatever, chest shuddering as hot arousal floods your veins. "Atta girl."

You whimper at that, grabbing a hold of his hair and grinding against his face. Chargebolt takes every motion in stride, grinning against your wetness with the acknowledgment that he's the one making you feel this good. "Just lie back and let me make this pretty pussy feel good, yeah?"

His lips return to nurse your clit as his three fingers fill you up the best they can. And they do it well, scissoring and sliding between your pliable walls to make you keen. Chargebolt plays your body like a fiddle, making you sing sounds you didn't even know you could make.

"I—can you fuck me now?" You say once your body starts to quiver, head spinning with the steady build-up in your core. "I wan—wanna cum on your cock."

Chargebolt groans at that and doesn't hesitate in pulling away with glossy lips, fingers soaked in a white gooey mess. He rubs it into the sheet and you flush at the mess you made.

"Yeah? Want me to fuck you?" He challenges with a raised eyebrow and the cockiest fucking grin. The only reason why you don't bite is in favor of cock.

"Yes, asshole."

Okay. Maybe you'll bite a little.

But you seem to have little to no repercussions as he rolls you into the sheets and hikes your knees up to your chest (er—as far as they'll go) and you grapple for the sheets as he slowly pushes inside, teeth digging into your bottom lip at the painful pleasure.

"Oh, you're gonna kill me, Cutie," he nearly wheezes as he bottoms out, and you squat due to being so full after...however long it's been.

"F-Fuck," you quiver, and Chargebolt's thumb press bruises into your hipbones.

"Can I—can I move? He pants, eyes full of so much hope it'd be comical if you weren't so down bad.

"Y-Yeah," you nod, shivering when he already starts to move. "Yeah, please—"

Chargebolt wastes no time in picking up the pace. His thrusts are sharp and face, hips hammering into your warmth, and you find yourself bouncing each time your hips connect.

"Fucking moan for me, Gorgeous," he grunts as if you aren't loud enough already, and your fingers scramble for his choker so you can watch his eyes roll to the back of his head like they did earlier. It earns you the loveliest broken moan and your lazy lips slide into a fucked out grin.

Pressing his thumb on your bottom lip, Chargebolt pries it open in favor of seizing your tongue and pressing it flat to your chin. His throat produces the most disgusting sound before his lips purse and he's spitting down your gullet with a feral grin, chuckling when you swallow without him needing to do so.

"Good girl," Chargebolt thrusts cease for a moment if only to return tenfold. "Good fucking girl—"

You watch his eyebrows furrow in concentration, sweat making the gold on his shoulders shine and the access glitter on your own chest. As he plows you into the bed, he drops a thumb to rub your clit; you move your legs around his back and tug on his choker again.

"Oh fuck," Chargebolt's eyebrows furrow as the new position only buries him deeper. "Look at you, drooling all over the pillow. I make you feel that good, Sweetheart?"

Your moan gets cut short when he delivers a sharp slap to your ass, cursing when you tighten around him in surprise. You don't have the energy to wipe the drool away nor to be embarrassed about it, and Chargebolt decides he likes you like this much better.

"Who knew you were such a submissive little thing, huh? Coming in here and barking orders—if I hadn't known any better, I'd think you were a top."

The way he says it is mokcing enough to make your blood boil, and you grit your teeth to growl, "I am a top."

"Really?" Chargebolt pants, face twisted in faux confusion. "Cause you look like you enjoy being under me a little too much."

You curse because not only is he right, but you're close—and painfully so. You figure he can tell just by looking at your reaction, and his spit-glossed lips slide into a cocky grin."

"Admit it, Gorgeous—you fucking love taking this cock, don't you?" He growls visage morphing into something more feral as his hips gain inhumane speed.

"I—" you start with a gasp, but Chargebolt's hips slow down in a threat and you dig red lines into his back as you say, "Yeah—yes, Chargebolt pleas—"

"Denki," he edits, and clarifies as your face twists in confusion, "Call me—call me Denki."

"I'm gonna cum, Denki," you let out a broken moan, thighs burning from the position in the best way. Denki groans, keeling over you with furrowed eyebrows as his thumb returns to your clit to push you off the edge.

"Fuck, say it again Pretty," he pants, pink tongue darting to wet his lips, "Say my name again."

Your chest shudders with an impending orgasm. Denki falls first, with a breathy groan and stuttering hips, arms wobbling in threat of collapsing. The sight of him riding on cloud nine prompts your own ecstasy, forcing your body upright as your orgasm steals your breath and wracks through your bones like an earthquake.

Denki rides both of your orgasms out, his cock twitching inside your spend little walls until his hips connect with yours for a final time.

"Holy shit," Denki wheezes a laugh after a silence spent catching your breaths. "You—Has anyone ever told you you're a good fuck?"

“I—“ you take a step back from his statement with a blink, body spent and sweaty on the bed. “I don’t fuck...often?”

Denki’s eyes bulge before he’s shaking his head with a click of his tongue, “Issa shame.”

“If this is your way of recruiting me as an escort, the answer’s no,” you deadpan towards the ceiling. It takes the electric blond a moment to react, but when he does, he’s dropping his head with a snort.

“I—no, I wasn’t recruiting you or whatever you wanna call it,” he chuckles, assuming the space to your right. Even though your skin is on fucking fire, for some reason you don’t mind.

“But I do...” Denki starts, and you have to nudge his shoulder for him to finish. He shakes you off with a chuckle and scrunch of his nose, before finally saying:

“But I do...wanna keep you around.”

#— 𝐃𝐄𝐍𝐊𝐈 #CLUB 777 #denki smut #bnha smut #mha smut #kaminari smut

[mammonshuman92]

- It Takes Two - Pt. 2

(Mammon x Gn!MC)

Genre: angst to fluff (the fluff is coming I promise lol)

Warnings: cheating, not proof read , if i missed any TW’s I apologize

“We’re a little busy right now.” A familiar voice, biting and arrogant, came from his lap. His eyes widened, whipping his head around to look at you in his lap. Except it wasn’t you. It was her. His heartbeat accelerated as panic began to set in.

“No, no, no, no, no.” He chanted, standing up in an instant, causing the succubus to fall to the floor with a thud and a few profanities. As events began to unfold and the puzzle pieces started fitting together; when it was already too late, he realized what he’d done. A hard lump instantaneously forming in his throat. He turned to you, eyes wide with terror, hands on either side of his head tangling in his hair.

“MC..I..I-It’s not wh- I thought-” He choked out.

He followed your line of sight, which was glued to his undone pants and obvious arousal. With shaky hands and fingers unwilling to cooperate, he fumbled with his zipper, struggling to get it up. Arms from behind snaked around his middle, gently clawing at his chest. 

“Shall we finish what we started?” She hummed seductively, staring daggers directly at you.

You shook your head, a sob escaping your lips as a fresh wave of tears streamed down your cheeks. You brushed past Asmo, disappearing out the doorway.

What’s goin’ on..? ...This can’t be happenin’..

He shoved the girl’s arms off of him without saying a word, a scowl spreading across her face. He made a beeline for the door, Asmo quickly stepping in front of him to block his way. “Don’t. You’ve done enough..” With venom lacing his tone, he looked the succubus up and down. He turned his glare on his brother for just a moment, the utter disgust they held was evident, before running out the door after you. As his figure disappeared, Mammon could feel the reality, the weight of the situation setting in.

His heart was pounding against his ribcage, breathing becoming erratic. The lump in his throat was unwavering, choking him as tears streamed down his cheeks. The gravity of it all bringing him to his knees.

“How moving.” The voice behind him scoffed, reminding him of her presence, “It almost seems like you love them.”

His head whipped around to see her, lounging casually on the sofa as if nothing had happened.

“You.” He growled, harshly wiping his face with the back of his hand as he stood up.

 “Stay the fuck away from me!” He snarled.

She laughed lightly as she stood from the couch, crossing the floor until she was right in front of him. “Don’t be like that. Ten minutes ago you were ready to nail me on that couch.” She purred, her finger trailing down his chest, quickly moving lower. Like a flash, he grabbed her wrists and held her hands up in the air in front of her.

“Let me make one thing very clear to you right now. I don’t want ya. I only made out with you and shit because I thought ya were MC. I would never willingly do anything to hurt them.” He glared at her, making sure she caught that emphasis, before dropping her hands. “Your jealousy bullshit, and making moves on me while I’m drunk just made me lose the one thing that has ever been good about me..” He trailed off, releasing his grip in her.

She rolled her eyes, “Why are you getting so worked up over a human? There’s nothing special about-”

“Excuse me?” He growled. 

Mammon has always been the level-headed one when it comes to altercations, believe it or not. He never usually lets his anger get the best of him. After thousands of years of being the scummy brother, the thief, the loser, he got used to just letting people’s words fall upon deaf ears, so to say. But, that was not the case this time. You see, anyone could say whatever they wanted to about him, he didn’t care. He could handle whatever was thrown at him. 

You, on the other hand? Well, you’re flawless. In every miniscule way, you were perfect. That’s not saying that you don’t make mistakes, or drive him crazy sometimes, but to him there was absolutely not a thing about you he would change. Everything you did, everything you were, was absolutely immaculate.

Rage bubbled in his gut.

Leaning in closely, he towered over her, radiating ire. “I’m not gonna sit here and discuss why you’re wrong, seein’ as how it’d take all day, but what I am gonna to say is for a lesser demon, ya might wanna reconsider who you’re talking to. He spat, “Say one more thing about MC, and it’ll be the last time ya speak..” He whispered, glaring at her for a moment before taking a step back.

“Stay away from me and MC.” He warned once more, daggers in his eyes as he turned and bolted through the door.

If he had any shred of hope left, it was that you would talk to him and let him explain everything. He knew it was shitty, after everything that just went down, to even consider the possibility of you forgiving him, but he held onto that little shred of hope. Had he been in the right state of mind, had she not taken advantage of the situation and the state he was in, he would’ve never even stayed in the same room with that girl, much less go as far as he had.

He felt awful. Whether he was so drunk he was convinced it was you on his lap or not, he felt an overwhelming sense of guilt. After seeing the horror, the heartbreak on your face; the tears that stained your cheeks because of something he’d done, he kinda didn’t want you to forgive him. He didn’t want to lose you, couldn’t imagine continuing on without you in his life, by his side. But if you hated him now, he wouldn’t blame you. He deserved it. And he would live with it for the rest of his existence, knowing that he messed up his only chance at true happiness; at spending his life with his soulmate.

-

You bobbed and weaved as quickly as you could through the crowd of club patrons, needing to get far away from here as fast as you could, as your impending breakdown was sure to be a sight to see.

You were already so out of it; physically present but mentally, your brain had already shut off. Not quite sure how to handle the current situation. All the faces in the club were just a blur; you could feel the bass of the music reverberating inside your chest, but you couldn’t hear anything. Kind of like when you’re somewhere so quiet, the absence of sound feels so heavy, deafening.

You had to get out of here. Heart hammering wildly, you felt as if you couldn’t breathe; like the walls were closing in on you. A panic attack was setting in. Finally free of the sea of people, you darted out the front door of the establishment, running as fast as your legs would take you back to the House of Lamentation. Hoping that no one else would be home to see you; becoming witness to your unraveling.

-

*bing*

*bing, bing* *bing*

Your D.D.D. continued going off with near constant notifications well into the night. You could’ve just put it on silent, but you just couldn’t seem to move, frozen by heartbreak. Apparently several pictures were going viral on Devilgram, leaking this rumor and that regarding the second born and the succubus. Further making you look and feel like a complete fool.

Mammon had also been blowing up your phone since you made it back to the HOL. He had even come by your room in an attempt to talk to you but once he realized the door was locked, which had never happened the entire time you’ve lived here, he sat outside the door begging you to open it as loud sobs escaped him. As much as you wanted to, you didn’t budge.

Of course you still love him. How could you not? Hearing his desperate pleas and heartbroken sobs was almost too much for you. Although you were the one who had been betrayed, you wanted nothing more than to fling the door open, latch yourself onto him and never let go. But you couldn’t. Cheating is a dealbreaker. It’d happened before, in previous relationships, but shit this one hurt so bad, worse than any other heartbreak you’d had.

He had his faults, much like everyone, but he was so perfect for you, and treated you like you’d always dreamed. This couldn’t really be the end could it? Over, just like that? Completely smitten and in love two days ago, to heartbroken, crying on the bathroom floor. 

How are you supposed to move on from this? He’s your best friend. Or, was. How are you supposed to pass him in the hall, or eat dinner, or have House movie nights in the common room? How are you supposed to act like you're not still in love with him..?

-

The next week was pretty rough, to say the least.

You stayed locked away in your room when you weren’t at RAD; replaying the moment you saw them together, crying until the tears no longer fell; effectively torturing yourself. They’d all come knocking at your door countless times, trying their best to make you feel better. And while you appreciated it wholly, it didn’t help.

Avoiding Mammon was probably one of the hardest things you’d ever done, seeing as how you kinda live together. While it was extremely hard not to just run up to him and latch onto him like you always did, it seemed harder to just avoid him in general. 

During the first few days, he left small presents outside your door, had a couple of his brothers slip you notes, and waited for you after class a few times. After using every ounce of your willpower to avoid him, he left you alone. He still messaged you several times a day though, apologizing profusely, begging you to talk to him.

But, it was better this way right? Like ripping off a band-aid? 

That’s what you’d always heard anyway. Instead of asking questions and demanding answers as to why someone else chose to hurt you, you just cut it off right there, ghosting them; removing yourself completely from their life. Because if they truly cared, really loved you, they wouldn’t make the conscious decision to do something that they know would hurt you, that stepped outside the boundaries of your relationship. Their reasoning doesn’t matter. Aside from living in the same house and attending the same school, you had pretty much ghosted him.

In public anyway. In the privacy of your room, where you could feel everything to its fullest, you’d spend hours going through pictures, skimming Devilgram for any new gossip about the two of them. Re-reading your old text messages, finger hovering over the send button of the text you’d typed out a hundred times before deleting it and tossing your phone, a new wave of tears pricking your eyes.

-

Unable to sleep, he’d tossed and turned in his bed so much that his body ached and one of the corners of his sheet had popped off the bed. With a heavy sigh, he rolled over and grabbed his D.D.D. off the nightstand. Squinting his eyes harshly when he unlocked the phone.

“3:41am” He groaned, tossing the phone back onto the nightstand. He turned back over, facing the empty side of his bed. Sure, he didn’t often share it before you, but once you started sleeping together, he wasn’t sure how he’d ever slept before you came along. It just felt right. Your body molded against his, sleeping peacefully in his arms.

His hand trailed down the cold, empty sheets; the slight disruption releasing your smell. A hard lump formed in his throat as tears pooled behind his lash line. He sat up quickly, rubbing his eyes with the heel of his palms. With a heavy sigh, he stood up and grabbed a pair of pajama pants, making his way to the door. If he had any hope of being able to fall asleep again, he’d need some help drowning his thoughts.

He quietly made his way to the kitchen, fully intending to turn up the bottle of Demonus Lucifer kept hidden in the dark recesses of the pantry. As soon as he stepped foot in the kitchen, he froze.

It had only been seven days, but it felt like a lifetime. Seven days without being in the same room as you for more than just a moment before you ran in any direction as long as it was away from him. Not that he could blame you. He wanted to run away from himself..

Which is exactly what he was determined to do with Demonus, had he not stumbled upon you sitting with your back to the fridge, crying into a half eaten container of chocolate frosting. 

Immediately alerted to the figure in the doorway, you jumped up, attempting to wipe at your face as you muttered an apology, but paled when you saw who it was that disturbed you. You slowly sat the container on the counter, keeping your eyes fixed on the man in the doorway.

What was left of his heart, shattered at the sight of you. Your eyes were puffy and red with dark bags underneath them. The same eyes that looked at him with such deep burning love, were now dull and lifeless as you stared at him. You were visibly broken, anyone could see that. He was the reason you looked like this; like an abandoned puppy, beaten and abused. He hated it. Hated himself.

He moved out of the doorway and into the kitchen, freeing up the only way out in case you wanted to run. Not that he blamed you. If he could run from himself right now, he would.

But, now you were in the same room together for the first time in a week and he didn’t want to waste the opportunity. Maybe if he just started talking you would listen, even just a tiny bit to what he had to say.

“MC, I-”

“Don’t.” Your voice trembled slightly as your eyes began to sting.

“Please, just hear me-”

“And what are you going to say, hm? That you’re sorry? Sorry you did it, or sorry you got caught?” You hissed with tears in your eyes. Mammon slightly recoiled from the tone of your voice, a tone he’d never heard from you. You hated being this way; angry and bitter, wanting him to hurt like you did. It was surely petty, but you didn’t care.

“MC, listen, I swear I didn’t do anythin’, okay? I was still goin’ strong from an all night drinkin’ binge, an-and she just showed up in the VIP lounge. I told her to fuck off but she didn’t listen. I was already pretty out of it when things started happenin’ and I thought it was you. I thought it was you the whole time! I-I didn’t know it was her till I heard you and Asmo and realized what happened! She took advantage of the situation, of me bein’ way too drunk..” He was talking so fast, trying to get out the words he’d been wanting to say to you. 

Narrowing your eyes, you stared at him suspiciously.

What if he really didn’t do it on purpose..? If all of that is true, it would explain why he looks so rough..

Having barely stayed in the same room as one another for several days and not wanting to look at him, wanting to remain strong and now cry in front of everyone, you hadn’t noticed but how awful he looked as well. He clearly hasn’t been sleeping well, judging by the giant bags under his eyes. Not to mention that he is also currently awake at 4am, looking just as much like shit as you did.

“Then why is it all over Devilgram that it’s been an ongoing fling?” You questioned, a few tears escaping.

“I would never do anythin’ like that, MC! She’s just jealous or somethin’, I don’t know what her issue is.. But, I-I love ya, more than anythin’ in the three realms. Even Goldie!”

You could feel yourself caving in with every word he said. It made sense, judging by how she’d randomly confronted you after school that day after whispering about you with her friends all day, it seemed like jealousy could be plausible. But what proof did you have? It was his word against what you saw with your own eyes. Not to mention everything on Devilgram.

“Funny, from where I was standing, it sure looked like I was the last thing on your mind.” You hissed, causing him to flinch; but he wasn’t backing down yet.

“Just let me prove it to ya, okay? I-I’ll do whatever I gotta do. Please, MC?” His deep, sapphire blue eyes bore deep into yours; the sorrow, the agony they held was immense. The crack in your armour deepened.

He could see that you were wavering, but that you were hesitant, scared to believe him; to trust him. He couldn’t blame you. If he were on the other side of all this, he wouldn’t believe his words either. He didn’t expect you to just hear him out then jump into his arms and ride away into the sunset. He knew better. He knew he’d have to prove it. He was more than willing to do whatever it would take for you to trust him again, to believe that he’d never hurt you intentionally.

He took a step toward you, careful and anxious, as if you would bolt if he moved too suddenly. He reached out for your hand slowly, reluctant at first but upon realizing how much you’d missed his touch as his warm, much larger hand enveloped yours, you caved so easily.

He squeezed your hand lightly, looking down at your entwined fingers, gently rubbing the side of your thumb. You felt something wet hit your hand a couple times, realizing quickly that they were tears, you attempted to swallow the lump in your throat that was quickly forming.

“Please? I’m miserable without ya..” He asked, voice cracking slightly.

Even after everything that’s happened the last week, you couldn’t stand to see him in such pain; miserable and broken. Just like you.

Sure, he was always stand-offish about his feelings and the like before you got together, but once it was all official, that was it; the walls came down. There had never been a single time that he lied to you or went behind your back with anything. He lasted exactly twelve minutes after buying your birthday present before he couldn’t take it anymore and spilled the beans. 

He’s always a goofball, sometimes has bad timing and isn’t always the best with words, but he’s never given you a reason not to trust him before; he’s never been anything but an amazing boyfriend that genuinely tries his hardest to make you happy.

“One.” You whispered, barely audible. His head snapped up, deep blue eyes scanning yours. You closed your eyes, taking a deep, yet shaky breath.

“One chance. That’s it.”

No sooner than the words left your lips, Mammon was pulling you flush to his chest in a bone crushing hug. Had you not been utterly craving his touch, to be held by him, you would’ve pushed him away. That’s what you told yourself anyway.

“I won’t make ya regret it, MC.” He earnestly swore, squeezing you gently.

For the sake of your heart, you hoped he was right.

~ taglist ~

@ithinkimdekubutreallyimdenki

@maybe-nott

@bandaged-despair

@bokuto7stan

@aliackerman

- part three coming soon -

#obey me #obey me shall we date #obey me mammon #mammon x mc #mammon x reader #mammon x you #mammon x gn!mc #gender neutral #gn #gender neutral mc #obey me angst #mammon angst #trigger warning #cheating

[angelicmark]

a montage of love (m)

part of the ‘almost’ collaboration hosted by @hyucksie​​

pairing: jaemin x reader

genre: angst, fluff, smut, neighbors!au, unhappy ending

warnings: explicit sex

wc: 15.3k

summary: Love was not the first thing to grace your mind when you met the man who moved into the apartment across from yours. Jaemin knows he can’t stay long, but you don’t. Creating long-lasting memories with someone who isn’t long-lasting is painful.

“have you ever had a love that’s bigger than you?”

your quick answer, no. you haven’t.

you frown as you read the words on the screen. your eyes scan the words a million times over, and it truly shouldn’t be a big deal to you. it was just a question that you already knew the answer to. you were a little unsure why it bothered you too much. it wasn’t like it was a big deal or anything. and it wasn’t like the question was apart of a quiz or anything, it was just on your screen and in front of you as you scrolled through social media.

you hum quietly to yourself before looking over to your best friend, renjun. his eyes glimmer under the light as he catches you staring. he gives you a scowl when you have a pout on your face, nodding his head at you.

“what’s up with you?” he asks quietly, and you huff.

“have you ever had a love that’s bigger than you?” you ask, looking at him with curious eyes.

renjun furrows his eyebrows, looking at you like you’re nuts, “what?” he sees the pout on your face and he visibly softens at the sight. he feels bad now, great. “um..” renjun pauses, thinking over the heavy words before slowly nodding his head. “i think i have.”

“what is it like? what does it mean?” your questions spill out of your mouth before you can stop them.

“it’s...” renjun squirms uncomfortably in his seat beside you on the couch, and he sees the curiosity lingering in your gaze. “it’s like.. falling in love with someone, impossibly too much. where your love almost feels...” he clears his throat, avoiding eye contact, “abandoned. it feels abandoned, i guess. your love for them consumes you.”

you sit back in your seat, letting out a hum, “wow,” you look at renjun and see his ears are turning slightly red as you let out a soft laugh, “i didn’t know you were so deep, renjun.”

renjun rolls his eyes, lightly kicking you and making you laugh harder, “shut up! you asked, idiot.”

you grin at him, “i didn’t think you’d actually answer. you normally don’t. you normally tell me to fuck off.” you laugh more as he rolls his eyes.

“if you ever fall in love,” he points at you, “you’ll get it.”

you nod your head, “i’ll let you know if i do.” you shrug your shoulders, “i don’t think i will though. not anytime soon, anyway.” you lean back into your seat again and stare at your phone, checking the time on your screen.

“should you be leaving soon? it’s almost midnight.” you chuckle again when you see the surprise on his face, eyes going wide as he quickly starts to gather his stuff.

“shit,” renjun mumbles, slipping his jacket over his shoulders and fumbling with his shoes as they slid on, “it’s that late already? what the fuck..”

you get up from your seat, making way to the front door to help renjun out. he gives you a bright smile as you open the door for him, “text me when you get back safe.” you say to him, watching as he walks out.

when he doesn’t respond back immediately, you almost tell him he’s being rude for not responding back, before you finally look over and notice a male trying to unlock his door across from your apartment. you frown, unaware of him moving in until now. you were guessing he was new, as that apartment hadn’t been rented out in months. renjun looks at you with an arched eyebrow, and you roll your eyes before shrugging your shoulders silently.

you mouth ‘i don’t know’ before looking back at the boy with bright blonde hair. you hear the small curse fall from his lips as he continues to struggle with the key. you giggle, looking back at renjun for a minute.

“i’ll see you later, renjun.” you wave him off, before grabbing your own key on your key hanger by your door so you don’t get locked out of your own apartment from trying to help someone else get into theirs. renjun just gives you a nod and a smile and a thumbs up. you scowl at him and he laughs, the sound echoing as he finally leaves to the elevators.

“need help?” you tilt your head as you stand in your doorway, not fully leaving your apartment without the approval of help.

the male jumps, giving you a look of surprise as his eyes go wide, and he looks at you for a few seconds. in those few seconds, you have time to admire him. he was quite handsome, and you definitely haven’t seen him before. you would remember him if you have. his nose was a perfect button nose, his lips slightly chapped but still perfectly shaped, his eyes round and a pretty brown shade, his eyebrows full. he was quite the looker.

the blonde sighs, “is it that obvious?” he speaks, his voice a lot deeper than you imagined. it was gravely and attractive.

you laugh lightly, “maybe a bit.” you finally step out of your apartment, and you notice the shock on his face, “i have my keys, don’t worry.”

he nods his head, “sorry, i’m new here.”

you shake your head, stepping beside him and holding your hand out for his key, “don’t be. i had a hard time with the locks here too when i first moved in. it took me awhile to perfect it, they can be a bit stubborn.”

he hands you the key, taking trust in you as your kind eyes glimmer under the soft light of the hallway, “thanks. i really couldn’t figure it out.”

you wave him off, shaking your head again as you stick the key in, before lifting it up and twisting, “the key is to lightly lift it up, sometimes they don’t align right. it’s a weird lock.” he watches as you unlock his door easily, not opening the door for his own privacy. you take the key out and slip it back in his hand with a smile, “there you go. if you ever need help again, just knock.”

the man nods his head, about to head inside before stopping himself and looking at you. you’re about to ask him what’s wrong, before he beats you to it. “what’s your name? so i know who i’m talking to?”

you smile at him, “y/n.”

he nods his head, “jaemin.”

you hold your hand out for him, giving him another warm smile, “nice to meet you, jaemin.” he grasps his hand in yours, and his grip is more firm than yours but his hands are quite soft to the touch. you falter a bit, feeling how soft his hand is and how his eyes scan your features with a glint you can’t quite pinpoint.

“nice to meet you, y/n.” your name sounded pretty coming out of his mouth, and he felt the same way about you saying his name. he was oddly attracted to you and your friendly nature, but he remained cautious. he was unsure if you were dating the man who left your apartment just minutes ago, so he kept his distance. jaemin smiles at you, and you realize he has perfect teeth as well. you want to curse at him for being so damn pretty, but you remain silent as you smile back gingerly.

“i’ll see you around, since you’re literally living across from me,” you let go of his hand and chuckle a bit.

he laughs back, his smile brightening up the whole damn room, “definitely.” he nods, giving you another polite smile before entering his apartment as you go to unlock yours.

when you finally make it inside your own apartment, you let out a breath you didn’t realize you were holding. since when did your complex start having hot guys living across from you? the last person to live across from you was an old lady and her cat. she was nice, but ended up living in a nursing home and moving out. the apartment had been empty for months after that, so this was quite the surprise. especially with it being someone as attractive as jaemin.

you run your hands over your face as you sigh again, very slowly releasing air from your lungs. “what the fuck..” you whisper to yourself, going to your room to change and get ready for bed. you jump as you slip your shirt over your head after completely changing, hearing your phone ring. you knew it was renjun, smiling to yourself as you pick up the phone and sit on your bed.

“i’m home, dork,” he drags out the last syllable of his sentence, and you scoff at him.

“thanks for letting me know,” you say, holding the phone against your ear as you hear the laugh renjun lets out on the other line.

“who was the dude across from you?” he asks, curiosity lacing his voice.

“someone really, really hot.” you gush, and you hear another booming laugh from renjun.

“wait, really?? do you know him?” renjun seems invested now, a smile being heard from his tone.

you roll your eye, “i don’t. he just told me his name before we parted ways after i helped with unlocking his door.”

“what’s his name?” he quickly asks, and you can already imagine him teasing you for having a hot guy living across from you.

“why should i tell you? you’re just going to tease me.” you fire back at him, a pout on your face.

renjun chuckles, “for knowing his name? c’mon, just tell me. i’m your best friend, remember? we tell each other everything, and it’s just his name, dude.”

you pause, “jaemin. his name is jaemin.”

“oooh,” you can hearing the taunting tone in his voice, making you scoff again and scowl.

“i wish you could see the distate on my face right now.”

“i can hear it, babe.” renjun grins, knowing you can’t see it but also knowing you can hear it.

you shift in your seat, making a fake hurling noise, “gross, don’t ever call me that.”

“whatever, i need to go to bed now. just wanted to know what was up with the dude across from you,” renjun states. “you should get some rest, too.” he quickly adds.

you smile, “aww, is renjun worried?” you coo at him, and you can already see the roll of his eyes and the scowl on his face.

“shut up, go to bed.” he snarls, “i am worried when our time together gets snatched away when you have a messed up sleep schedule. who else am i supposed to bother?”

“umm, hyuck?” you say like it’s obvious, making a face that you knew he couldn’t see.

“he actually annoys me, you don’t.” you’re about to counterattack his statement, but he doesn’t let you. “goodnight, go to sleep.”

you laugh, deciding to let it go, “goodnight, renjun.”

he hangs up, making you smile to yourself as you place your phone back down on your nightstand. you stretch your limbs, hearing a couple bones crack in the process before laying down. your eyes fall heavy within seconds, slipping easily into sleep as your mind becomes fuzzed by the man living across from you.

you were almost certain the two of you would end up talking more, and the thought excited you.

you hoped to become closer to jaemin.

“open the door, idiot!”

you huff as a reply, clearly struggling as you hold at least three bags in each of your hands, trying to scuff out your key in your pocket. grocery shopping with renjun had to have always been a hassle, especially when the two of you finally made it back to your apartment.

“take these,” you hand him three bags from one hand, and he scoffs playfully like a spoiled brat. “do you want the door open or not?” you raise an eyebrow.

“just open it. it doesn’t help that your apartment doesn’t have strong heaters in the hallways when it’s like three degrees outside.” renjun hurries you, gesturing towards your door with a free hand.

you laugh, quickly unlocking your door, but just as you unlock it, a familiar male walks up behind the two of you towards his own door. your handsome, gorgeous neighbor. renjun catches your eye, before adverting his gaze to the man behind the both of you. renjun’s eyes grow wide, and he smiles even brighter.

“i’ll take these!” he grabs your bags from you and hops inside and closes the door in front of you before you can really think about it. you gasp, eyes going wide in shock. you really could not believe him sometimes.

“fuck,” you grunt, pulling out your key again and trying to unlock your door as quickly as you could.

“did he just lock you out?” jaemin asks, and you whip your head in his direction, just to see a soft smile painting his pretty lips.

“no, i have my key, but it’s hard to unlock the door. i think you would know that best, huh?” you grin, and he sheepishly looks away for a split second before turning back to you.

“is your relationship always like that with him?” he questions, tilting his head in curiosity. he was afraid that curiosity would kill the cat right now. he was afraid of you confirming you were actually dating the man who just slammed your own door in front of your face.

“hm? renjun?” you look at him with furrowed eyebrows, “oh, we’re just friends, if that’s what you’re implying. but, yeah. we’re always like that with each other.”

jaemin feels his chest suddenly turn lighter, and he feels better about the whole entire situation between the two of you. he finds himself to be oddly infatuated with you after only really meeting with you twice in the apartment hallways. it was a refreshing feeling, for some reason, being around you. he really liked it, and your aura was calm and collected. someone he feels he could confide in. maybe he was thinking too quickly and rushing ahead, but you surely did give him a good impression. jaemin just guessed he was someone who became attached to people with good intentions very easily.

“ah, sorry for intruding, or something. i guess, maybe, i was curious.” jaemin answers this honestly, and you actually quite like his honesty.

you chuckle under your breath, “of me, or of him?”

jaemin smiles brightly, “you.”

for some reason, you weren’t really expecting him to be so straightforward, it caught you by surprise, making you widen your eyes and laugh in nervousness. “oh,” you laugh again, “i’m.. curious of you, too. if it helps.”

jaemin nods, watching as you lick your lips and give him a sweet look, “it does, it really does.” he pauses, before continuing, “am i being weird? i don’t mean to be, like, creepy or anything-” jaemin’s eyes go wide as he realizes how weird this may all seem to you.

you smile at him, letting out a laugh that makes jaemin stop breathing just so he can hear it, “it’s just a bit weird, i’m not sure i can trust someone as pretty as you.” you tilt your head, raising an eyebrow in his direction.

he chuckles lowly, “i could say the same for you. but i promise i’m not, like, weird. i just want to.. get to know you, i guess.”

“you guess?” you stare accusingly, and laugh at his shocked expression.

“i do, i do want to get to know you. i’m sure of it.” he quickly lets out.

your giggle rings in his ears, “you can breathe, jaemin. i’m just teasing..” you shift where you stand, “i’d like to get to know you, too.”

jaemin lets out a breath of relief, making you smile to yourself, “okay, great.”

“renjun’s in there, and mostly likely listen, so i should probably get inside now. plus it’s freezing out here, but i’ll talk to you more soon.” you smile warmly, and he can’t stop from smiling back. you turn towards your door, going to unlock it.

“alright, uh, do you want my number or-”

“some other time,” you interrupt him, “meeting in the hallway randomly is more fun.” you quickly unlock your door and swing it open, closing it behind you as you slip in with a sly smile on your face.

jaemin feels tingly as he watches you close the door while gazing sweetly and slyly at him. he was becoming more and more curious of you, and he enjoyed the excitement and thrill he got from you. in some ways, he liked how much he thought of you. maybe you were bad news, or dangerous territory. or maybe you were someone to call his own. he had no idea. but he really wanted to know.

either way, he needed to know.

stretching your limbs, you give a sweet smile towards renjun’s direction. he huffs in his seat, clearly displeased with you at the moment. your dynamic with renjun was quite a pair, and you actually really loved renjun’s attitude and every thing about him. renjun made it easy to be yourself, and you appreciated him lots.

“just tell me about him,” renjun urges you, scooting closer to you in his seat beside you on the couch. “tell me about this mysterious man living across from you.” he was completely intrigued. and extremely pushy.

you groan, “it’s not even the slightest a big deal, idiot. he just lives across from me.”

“but i heard every thing, i think we both know that by now.” renjun grins, and you scoff.

“you shouldn’t be spying on people, it’s weird.” you adjust in your seat to sit criss-cross.

renjun grabs the bowl of pop on the coffee table and eats a few pieces before speaking, “i have to make sure you’re alright, one way or another.”

“you’re just nosey, renjun.” you cross your arms this time and lean back into the arm of the couch.

“shut up.” he says curtly.

you breathe out a soft laugh, “you already heard every thing, it doesn’t matter what else i tell you.”

“i’m curious what you think of him,” renjun eats while staring at you with interest.

“he’s cute.” you state, and renjun gestures with his hand that you continue, making you roll your eyes. “i don’t know! i’ve only seen the dude like twice and only talked to him twice. it’s hard to take judgement.”

“that’s fair.” renjun shrugs.

there’s a long pause between the both of you, and you can feel renjun’s lingering gaze on you. you shoot him a look, “what?”

renjun shrugs again, “nothing, really. just keep an eye out for him, it’s always the pretty ones.”

you snort, “it’s not like i’m going to fall in love with him after seeing him twice.”

“only time really tells,” renjun stuffs his face again, looking away from you and towards his phone.

you sit silently after that, letting yourself consume in your thoughts alone. renjun might have been right, but you really didn’t see yourself falling for jaemin. maybe it was too early to tell. would it have been bad if you did?

“you okay? you look sick,” renjun raises an eyebrow at you, staring curiously.

you swallow, nodding your head, “yeah, i’m fine. just a bit tired, i guess.” you grab your glass of water from the table, taking two large gulps.

renjun nods, “me too. i should probably get going about now.” renjun gets up from his spot on your couch, stretching his arms out and placing the bowl of popcorn on the table. “keep me updated on jaemin. he’s the most interesting part about you right now.”

you huff, “shut up, dick.”

renjun laughs, heading towards the door and opening it, “i’ll see you later, cutie.”

you lean back, “bye, renjun.”

renjun nods, before leaving with a smug smile on his face and making you roll your eyes as he shuts your door. renjun put a lot of thoughts inside your head that night, and none of them felt good. you end up rolling around in bed, thinking of all the possibilities you could have with your new neighbor.

it was a long, long night to yourself.

“i told you, renjun. i’ll get it done.” you huff out a reply, finishing brushing your teeth as he stands in the bathroom doorway.

“when? because it definitely won’t be this lifetime at this rate.” renjun looks accusingly, and you roll your eyes.

“when i have time.”

“so, never.” you roll your eyes again and walk away from him, slithering past him through the doorway. renjun scoffs as you ignore him, “essays don’t write themselves, you know.”

you pause in your footsteps, sighing and hanging your head low before turning around to face him, “i’m aware. i’ll get it done, renjun. promise.”

renjun feels wary, but trusts you anyway, “sure.”

“i have to check the mail, i’ll be right back.” you state, grabbing your apartment key before leaving. renjun simply nods his head, plopping himself onto your couch.

heading towards the elevator, you press the button. you stand patiently, before catching sight of someone heading your way from down the hallway. you’re not exactly surprised when you see jaemin come into view, but you didn’t really expect it either. jaemin furrows his eyebrows, before giving you a cute smile. you can’t stop the small smile you give back.

“where are you heading?” he asks first, giving you a curious look.

“mailbox,” you shift on your feet as the elevator opens and the both of you step in.

jaemin nods, “weird. i am, too.”

you snort, “really?”

jaemin chuckles lightly, “nah, but i can accompany you, anyway. i was actually heading to the store, but i have some time to spare.”

you shake your head, “you don’t have to,” you smile sweetly, “i can go alone.”

jaemin lightly bumps you with his elbow, smiling softly, “i don’t mind. unless you just really don’t want to be around me.”

your eyes go wide, “no, of course not. i mean, i don’t mind. you can come.” you panic in your spot as the elevator doors ding open.

jaemin laughs breathily, and you learn you like the sound. he follows you out as you head towards the room with all of the mailboxes. it was more convenient that you had indoor mailboxes, rather than outdoor. that had to be one thing you really liked about this complex.

as you open the little mailbox, jaemin nods at you, “anything good?”

you laugh, shaking your head, “not really. just a few ads.” you sort through your mail, scanning over it.

“might as well check mine,” jaemin moves towards you, opening the mailbox right under yours. you watch him carefully as he pulls out quite a few papers from his box.

“anything good?” you repeat his own words, and he laughs quietly.

“nope, not really.” he’s vague in his answer, but you don’t really mind.

you nod your head, “looks like we both got a bad set of mail then, huh?”

jaemin chuckles and adverts his eyes away from his mail finally, “yeah, i guess so.”

“still going to the store?” you walk out of the room, heading towards the elevator, but stopping to talk to jaemin.

he nods his head, “yeah, i have to pick up a few things.” jaemin pauses, looking at you longingly before finally speaking again, “i like your presence.”

“we’ve only talked three times,” you state, feeling your nerves start to bubble up.

jaemin licks his lips, a gentle smile gracing his face, “yeah, but i already have a good feeling about you. is that weird?”

you go silent for a few minutes, before nodding, “yeah, just a bit.”

jaemin laughs, “sorry, i don’t mean to-”

“but i feel the same way about you.” you interject, and jaemin can’t stop the bright smile he gives you. you realize you really like his smile, too. he was gorgeous, the prettiest you’ve ever seen. it was strange to think that he could possibly find you interesting, or that he liked being around you in such a short amount of time, but you couldn’t find it in yourself to complain.

jaemin lets the air linger for just a bit longer, before nodding his head, “i’ll see you around, neighbor.”

you smile back, “of course.” and you like the way he stares for just a bit longer, before heading out of the lobby. you like his bright smile that you think of all the way back to your apartment. you like the feeling of warmth you get thinking of the fact that he likes your presence. you like the feeling jaemin gives you in just such a short amount of time. maybe it was dangerous, and obviously too quick. but you really liked feeling like this.

when you unlock your apartment door, renjun gives you a stare, “i heard him leave his apartment. did you see him?”

you roll your eyes, “you are so damn nosey.”

renjun just laughs, clearly agreeing with you.

you and jaemin have met a few more times at random hours of the day after that within the next month, and you started to learn some things about him along the way. he likes to ruffle his hair a bit when he’s thinking, or when he feels a bit nervous. he has a tendency to overthink everything he says. he has a habit of licking his lips when he’s in deep thought, or realizes something. you learned a bit too much about him in such a short amount of time, but you really enjoyed his company along the way.

“oh, you have laundry, too?” you hear a familiar, deep voice that makes your spine shiver.

you whip your head around, eyes wide out of shock, “holy shit, you scared me.”

the black haired male laughs, “sorry, didn’t mean to.”

“it’s fine, it’s fine. just wasn’t expecting you, that’s all.” you continue throwing your clothes in the dryer, calming down a bit. jaemin dyed his hair black just about a week ago, and you find the color to suit him just a bit better. you liked blonde, too. but the black hair just looked prettier, in your opinion.

“you would know if you had my number,” jaemin sings quietly, placing his pile of clothes onto the dryer next to yours. you didn’t see him take them out of the washer, but he must have because they were damp.

you giggle a bit, and jaemin enjoys the sound, “you got me there.” you pause a bit. you knew you could trust him with your number, but a part of you liked meeting up at random times of the day, or night. maybe you were even scared to get closer than this.

“it’s fine, by the way. i’m not going to pressure you into giving me your number, i was just making a joke.” he’s overthinking. you can tell when he starts to speak a bit faster than usual, ushering out his words so he can quickly make his point.

you shake your head, smiling softly, “no, no. i think i should give you my number about now. it’s been like, what? almost two months?” you raise an eyebrow teasingly, holding out your hand, “give me your phone, i’ll put it in.”

jaemin freezes in his spot, eyes going a bit wide, “uh, wait, you don’t have-”

“i know, but i want to.” you state firmly, and jaemin swallows before nodding his head and handing you his phone. you place your number in quickly, adding your contact with your name in it. you weren’t sure how far this would take it into your acquaintance, or friendship or whatever, with him but you were prepared either way.

“nice, now i can text you whenever i want.” jaemin smiles.

“or call, i like calls a bit better.” you close the lid of the dryer after adding a dryer sheet, and jaemin begins to place his clothes in finally and following your steps.

“i’ll call then.” jaemin feels giddy at the thought of finally having your number, and being able to talk to you basically whenever he wants to.

you nod your head, smiling to yourself, “i look forward to it, jaemin.”

jaemin likes the way you say his name, and he likes the way you smile at him after. he likes the feeling you give him too, much to your unknowing. maybe jaemin was being a bit selfish at the moment, but he wanted to have you around for as long as he could.

jaemin has taken a liking towards you.

“so, you finally have his number?” renjun looks at you with teasing eyes, and you already want to shove him out of your apartment.

you huff out a breath, “no, i don’t, renjun. i gave him mine.”

renjun’s quiet for a few seconds, but you can see the bright smile lingering on his face from the corner of your eye. “has he texted or called yet?” renjun leans his head in his hand at the breakfast counter, turning his body to fully face you.

“nope,” you state. renjun hums, and you’re afraid to ask what he’s thinking. “what?”

“nothing, really. you could always just go visit him whenever you want, especially since he lives right across from you.” renjun has such a sweet smile on his face, but you hate when he gets really sweet like this. it’s never exactly a good thing.

“i’m not doing that.” you finally fully look over at him, giving him a serious look as to erase all future thoughts from his head.

renjun raises his hands up in defense, “i’m just saying! i wasn’t gonna do anything.” you squint your eyes at him, and renjun laughs. “i’m serious. it’s not my love life, i’m not going to interfere.”

you nod your head, looking warily, “okay, thank you.” you go back to highlighting parts of your notes for your homework, before whipping your head around with wide eyes after realizing what he just said, “love life?!”

renjun laughs extremely loud, echoing throughout the whole entire apartment. and you almost miss the way your phone starts ringing in your pocket. you jump in surprise, before glaring at renjun when he laughs harder at your expense. you slide your phone out of your pocket, checking the caller briefly.

“fucking hell,” you mutter. the world had to be against you.

“who is it?” renjun calms down, sounding out of breath from laughing too much.

you roll your eyes, but smile softly, “unknown number.”

renjun’s eyes go wide, and he suddenly looks like a kid on christmas, “it has to be jaemin, answer it! i’m not here, just answer it.”

you scoff, but answer anyway, “hello?” best case scenario it wasn’t jaemin, and it was just someone who got the wrong-

“hey, y/n right?”

fuck.

his voice was even gorgeous through call. most times it was a muffled sound, but even when his voice is muffled it still sounds heavenly. you feel a tingle down your spine at the sound, and you genuinely think you could fall asleep listening to him.

“jaemin?” you knew it was him.

“hey, thank fuck. i was really hoping you didn’t give me a pizza place number, or something.” jaemin lets out a sweet chuckle that rings through your ears.

you see renjun smiling from ear to ear, and you glare back before answering jaemin with a laugh of your own, “i wouldn’t do that. especially since we’re neighbors.” and he was a sweet guy with a beautiful face, but you weren’t going to say that in front of renjun, or jaemin.

jaemin could feel his heart start to pick up at the sound of your voice. in your own little way, you were enchanting to jaemin already. being neighbors with you was such a lucky shot, and he felt glad to stay here for the time being. he knew he couldn’t stay forever, but you were such a fresh breath of air that he almost wanted to. the odds were always against him, until he seemed to have met you.

“still there?” you speak, and it makes jaemin’s palms start to sweat, almost dropping his phone out of his hand.

“yeah, sorry, i got distracted for a minute.” jaemin pauses, before continuing, “are you busy this weekend?” he felt bold today, maybe too bold.

your eyes divert to renjun, and he just gestures with his hands to keep talking, “no, i’m not.”

and jaemin nods his head, as if you could see him, “great, uh.. would you like to hang out.. or something?” jaemin felt incredibly nervous, too nervous for his liking. he felt like a dumb middle schooler boy who didn’t know how to ask a girl out. you made him more nervous than he could handle, but he couldn’t say it was completely a bad thing. he hasn’t felt this way for anyone in a really long time. you were his fresh start while he still had you.

you lick your lips, feeling your stomach start to twist at the thought of actually hanging out with him and not just wandering around the apartment with him at random hours. “of course, i would love to.” you smile anyway, and you just know renjun is teasing you for it in his mind right now.

“great, i’ll text you this weekend. i don’t really have anything planned, if i’m being honest. i sort of went out on a whim there,” jaemin laughs nervously, and you find it cute.

“it’s alright, we’ll figure out what to do.” you feel giddy and excited, mentally preparing yourself to actually be around him for more than thirty minutes.

“great, alright, i’ll see you then.”

“alright, bye, jaemin.” he really, really likes the way you say his name.

“bye, y/n.”

hanging up, you see renjun with the biggest shit eating grin on his face than you have ever fucking seen.

“so...”

“don’t even start, renjun.” you place your hand up, interrupting him.

renjun laughs, “what?! i didn’t even say anything!”

“you’re going to call it a date.”

“is that not what it is?”

you slap his arm, and he doesn’t stop laughing in your face for the rest of the night about it.

“you cannot get enough of me, can you?” you say it in a sly voice, a smirk on your face as renjun rolls his eyes.

“i get bored easily and you’re fun to mess with,” renjun walks through your door and you frown.

“i didn’t say come in.”

“too late,” renjun smiles, and you scoff. “so, when’s your date?”

“will you ever let that go?” you plop on the couch the same time he does.

“nope.” he smiles sweetly, and you huff. “so, when is it?”

you give up reasoning with him, leaning back into your couch, “tomorrow. i’m not even sure what we’re going to do.”

renjun nods, “there’s not really much to do.”

you cross your legs, “yeah, i know. maybe we’ll get coffee, or something.”

“most likely. not a bad date, if you ask me.” renjun grins, and you roll your eyes, but smile back anyway.

your dynamic with renjun was quite different, but you found it to be in a good way. you play fought a lot, and nothing was ever really taken seriously and the two of you knew when to draw the line. you only really knew renjun for a few years now, meeting in junior year of high school and becoming extremely close. you grew to know both him, and his small group of friends. he wasn’t exactly the most social of them all, but he knew who to pick and choose to be his friends. being around renjun was like having a brother, and you thought maybe you would end up finding him more annoying as the years increased but you never did. safe to say, you do love renjun.

you stretch your arms upwards, “why are you here?”

“i’m always here,” renjun raises an eyebrow at you, and you shrug.

“touché.”

your mind subconsciously wanders back towards jaemin as renjun starts to scroll on his phone. you clearly haven’t known him long enough, but you wanted to know him long enough. you had no idea what he meant for you in the future, but you were just hoping you wouldn’t regret anything.

and you didn’t. but maybe past you hoped it ended differently.

“you good?” renjun asks out of habit.

you nod your head, “yeah, why?”

“you look deep in thought.” he looks curious.

“just a bit, yeah.” and you were telling the truth. you weren’t going to admit you were thinking of jaemin, obviously, but you couldn’t help the way you felt when you did think of him. it was like having a crush in high school or something, and you felt almost embarrassed to admit it to yourself.

“is it about jaemin? if you’re worried, i’m sure it’ll be fine.” renjun looks sincere, “you can always call me if you need something, or someone.” renjun quite obviously had a soft spot for you, believe it or not. and you appreciated him like no other.

“thank you, renjun. i appreciate it.” you smile, giving him a soft look.

he nods back, “of course, anything for you.”

“you’re so mushy for me,” you drag out the last syllable, scooting closer to him on the couch and hugging onto his arm, nuzzling your face into it.

renjun scoffs and pulls a disgusted face, trying to wiggle away from you, “i’m just looking out for you, weirdo. can’t have you feeling uncomfortable, or anything.”

you love how thoughtful he is, and you truly do feel lucky to have him, “thanks, dude.”

he chuckles, “yeah, yeah. whatever.” he tries to sound nonchalant, but he has a sweet grin on his face, letting you know he really, truly does care a lot for you. “now, what are you going to wear on your date?”

you groan, “oh my god.”

your fingers are cold. freezing even. you can feel your whole entire body light afire, except your fingers. they’re cold to the touch, and you can feel the way your bones start to ache in the process. you let out a soft heave, easily slipping out of your mattress to be met with the cold, hardwood floor. maybe you should have worn socks to sleep, just that once.

your mind feels muddled as you check the screen on your phone for the first time this morning. renjun’s name flickers by as you scan your notifications, but jaemin’s name seems to stick out the most. he sent you a text about an hour ago.

you decide to call him, a confident feeling swelling within your chest as you listen to the rings. maybe you shouldn’t have called, but there really wasn’t any going back now. especially not when you heard the call skip a beat, signaling someone had picked up.

“hello?” his voice is shaky, and you feel nerves start to rise within you.

“still on for today?” you try to sound composed, but you knew you weren’t. it was a fake.

a rumbled chuckle emits into the speaker, “of course, are you?”

“of course.” you want to stop the smile spreading on your face and reaching your cheekbones, but you can’t.

“are you home?” he asks quietly, as if he was reaching for something far away and accidentally moved the phone away from his face.

you clutch onto your phone a bit tighter, “i am.”

“can i come over?” jaemin had no plans. maybe he just simply wanted to be around you and get to know you better, bit by bit. he knew it was a bold move to ask if he could enter your apartment so early, but he was hoping you would agree. he wanted to feel the blatant aroma your own personal home had.

you shift in your spot, “let me throw on some warmer clothes really quick.” you shiver as you finally stand, quickly reaching for a hoodie and some leggings. you didn’t need to impress him. you couldn’t find a need to.

“alright, let me know when you’re ready.” jaemin has a smile gleaming on his features, much to his dismay. he hangs up before you reply, his nerves starting to eat him alive already. he asked to go over, so why is he so damn nervous?

you let out a shaky breath of air as you quickly fix your hair and throw on a pair of warm socks. were you really about to let your neighbor into your comfort zone? you thought it over for a few minutes and figured, yes, you were. sending a quick text to jaemin, you anticipate the next few minutes as you wait for a knock on the door. you almost jump when you hear the clatter of his door opening and closing, and then a few quick knocks on your own door.

swinging open the door, you’re met with the same black haired male you had seen several times in random areas of your apartment complex. he looks the same as always, still just as breathtaking as the last time you saw him. up close, you’re still never quite used to how truly pretty he can be. the hallway lights glimmer above him and illuminate a soft glow on his cheeks, making him just the more appealing.

“hey,” you start after a few seconds of embarrassingly staring. maybe jaemin noticed, or maybe he didn’t. either way, he didn’t bring it up or imply that he noticed.

“hey,” his voice is gravely and it makes you tug just softly at the sleeves of your hoodie.

you move away from your doorway, nerves spiking up within the both of you. “come in.” you don’t sound unsure of yourself, and you knew you weren’t.

jaemin slowly slides in, listening as you close the door behind him. he catches sight of the pale grey couch you have in the middle of the living room, eyes scanning the breakfast bar just a couple feet away. it was a small, convenient apartment and looked almost identical to his own. but your place definitely had a different feeling from his. yours felt warmer, a lot warmer. it was more of a home than it was a place to stay, and he soon realized your differences because of it. you had a home, and he just had a place to live. he can’t seem to stop the tugging at his heart as he watches you trudge towards the kitchen.

“want a water?” you have an inviting voice that makes jaemin want to get lost in.

“uh, sure.” his throat feels dry, looking around and seeing a hallway the most likely connects to your room, along with a bathroom.

“here you go,” you’re holding two water bottles. one for him, one for you. he hastily takes it from your hand, opening it with ease and taking a few large gulps. “do you like my place? sorry if it’s a bit dirty, i wasn’t expecting you to come in, or anything.”

jaemin smiles softly, “it’s nice. i like how warm it is in here.” he wasn’t lying. not in the slightest bit was he lying.

“great, i’m glad.” you smile back, and jaemin feels his cheeks start to rise in heat already. he wasn’t used to feeling this way, he felt so unsure. “so, why did you move here?”

jaemin hums, “hm, it was a cheap offer and..” he was nervous. he couldn’t bring himself to be honest with you and tell you the reason why he was truly here. he couldn’t tell you that the other reason was because he knew it wouldn’t be long before he left. again. again and again, he leaves. “and a little far from the loud street noises. last place i stayed was too loud for my liking.” he wasn’t lying, not completely. his last apartment was actually too loud and prompted him to get constant headaches. it wasn’t the slightest comfortable.

“ah, makes sense.” you nod your head, and jaemin finds the slightest gesture endearing. he hoped he wasn’t dreaming when you lured him towards the couch, patting the side beside you. “come sit.”

jaemin had no plans. absolutely zero. but this was definitely better than anything he could have possibly came up with if he did plan. maybe he was a bit immature for getting excited and giddy at the thought of sitting so close to you, in your own apartment, but he couldn’t exactly help it. slipping himself next to you, he’s welcomed to a warm and comforting smile by you.

“i like your smile.”

embarrassing. truly embarrassing.

jaemin catches himself slapping a hand over his mouth, eyes just as wide as yours. the statement caught both of you by surprise, but his heart brightened when you let out the sweetest laugh he had ever heard in all his years of living. the smile reached your eyes, and the sound echoed through his ears and crawled within his bones. he could feel the aching.

“i like yours, too. thank you, jaemin.” his name falling from your lips sounded so effortlessly. and you’ll admit that it felt effortlessly, too.

“thanks” he sounds sheepish, and you can see the way his ears light up a cute red, pink dusting his cheeks from shame. you could tease him further, but decided against it. normally, you would have. but something about jaemin made you feel more cautious and careful, and you couldn’t say it was a bad thing. you just certainly didn’t want to chase him off so soon. he had a bambi-like personality in your eyes, and you didn’t want to ruin whatever this was so far.

you take a sip of your water, and jaemin watches as you swallow it down. everything you do seems to be so graceful, and he almost felt blinded by everything you do. when you place the bottle of water onto the small table in front of the couch, he follows your lead and places his own next to yours. the cold liquid along the edges of the water bottle quickly fall onto the glass table, creating a ring around it. the air fills with silence between the two of you, and it feels almost tense.

“you tend to overthink things, don’t you?” you read him too well. it was a bit scary on his end.

jaemin shifts in his seat, clearing his throat as he looks away from the water, “yeah, just a bit.”

you chuckle under your breath, “we’ve been silent for almost two minutes, jaemin. you seem to have a lot on your mind most of the time.”

jaemin nods, “yeah, sorry about that. i’m not sure i’ll ever be able to fix something like that.” the soft laugh jaemin let's out is quiet and airy, but you like the sound anyway.

“don’t be sorry,” your fingers are cold again. “i get that way, too. i try not to, but it always seems to just creep back up on me, i guess.” you shrug your shoulders, tugging on the ends of your sleeves again to warm up your hands.

“it’s a bad habit of mine, much like the many others i have.” jaemin admits this absentmindedly, not really thinking much of it this time.

“you can say whatever with me.” you confirm a trustworthy presence, and jaemin desperately wants to take you up on the offer. he knows that, deep within, he won’t be able to.

“thank you, same goes for you.” jaemin places a faux smile on his face, despite his heart thrumming in his chest and his stomach stirring in endless nerves. you’ve been in the same room for almost thirty minutes now, and he still hasn’t calmed down. you can’t really say you’re doing any better than him, but neither of you know what the other is thinking, or feeling.

“thank you,” you don’t stop offering soft, unspoken smiles for the rest of the time he’s with you. and it starts to feel easier, and easier as time rolls by and you’re both eating lunch together. lunch turns into evening into dinner into late. it feels almost surreal spending so much time together, even going for a coffee run in between. you discovered that day that jaemin quite thoroughly enjoys his coffee, and you can smell the constant coffee on his clothes when he steps just a bit closer to you than usual.

jaemin discovers the same day that you are a refreshing piece in his life that he’s happy to know, and glad to have. time will tear the two of you apart, but as he watches you laugh at a joke he exclaims, he can’t find it in himself to worry about time. he can’t find it in himself to worry about the future, or what it will look like for him.

time stood still around you.

it was late, so late. you felt like you were on top of the world for the first time in a very, very long time. you wore a dress just this once, a cute sundress that contrasted to the dark night. jaemin sat peacefully on the edge of your bed, eyes watching the way yours glaze over in slight tiredness and excitement. it was late, so damn late. but you were loving the tightening feeling you get in your chest every time you catch jaemin staring at you with shiny, struck eyes. it was euphoric and exhilarating. don’t go away, don’t make this feeling go away. you were silently pleading.

“do you like music?” you question with a tilt of your head, staring right through him.

his breath hitches a little, “i do.”

you nod, “who doesn’t?”

you catch yourself admiring the way jaemin looks under the moonlight as a small candle wax warmer plugged into the wall illuminates the room just as much as the moon does. his eyes sparkled watching you, and you tried your best not to notice. but it was hard not to. you felt like you were getting caught up in the little things, but you found the little things to be what always mattered to you. maybe there was an open door for you, without you even knowing.

jaemin enjoys the way your eyes flitter around the room and the way you look out the window towards the moon, before returning your gaze back onto him. it’s a whirlwind of emotions that come crashing down on him when he realizes that you’ve snuck your way into his world. his silently, kept world. and he feels his head on his shoulders so suddenly, and he feels his heart starting to break apart his ribcage. he feels the way his hands suddenly reach out for you, grabbing your hand and pulling you towards him.

he feels himself reaching. reaching for you.

and you feel yourself collapse into him, abruptly being pulled into the secrecy of his hold. it’s so intense, and you both can feel fires being started inside your stomachs. jaemin knows this could possibly ruin everything, and completely start something new between the both of you. but he also knows that if he doesn’t do anything now, he’ll regret it forever. over the course of three months of simply getting to know you, be around you, it’s consumed him whole and burned him into something possibly greater. something more new, more bold, more needy. jaemin didn’t realize how selfish his actions may have been, or what the future could ever hold for him, or for you. jaemin was needy, so damn needy.

maybe a part of him was hoping you would cure him. cure him of the never ending cycle he seemed to be repeating. he was stuck. he was hoping you would get him out.

jaemin is taking, and taking. the moment he feels your lips press against his own, he feels himself slip away. the reality of the situation he put himself in, falls to pieces and crumbles beneath his feet. nothing felt real, yet everything felt too real. the way your hand shakily pressed against his cheek and felt the warmth beneath them, the way you curled your other hand into his hair and softly tugged, emitting a soft noise of approval to fall past his lips and into your own. jaemin had no idea what he was doing. he had absolutely no fucking clue. all he knew was that he had you here with him, in his hold, in the comforts of your room. jaemin knew little to nothing what he was doing. he fell into a deeper hole than he could ever get out of, but he regrets nothing. especially not when you kiss him deeper, stronger, more shallow. especially not when he feels his hands trail along your thighs to feel just how warm your skin is beneath your dress. especially not when you clamber clumsily into his lap, not breaking a single second of the kiss.

especially not when he has you.

selfish, he hears a whisper in his head, so selfish.

you were shocked. you were stunned into a kissing silence, but you couldn’t exactly bring yourself out of it. you didn’t want to, not in the slightest did you want to let go of this very moment. have you ever felt a closeness like this before? certainly not. no, definitely not. and that’s not to say you’ve never kissed anyone. you’ve just never felt the shaking in your hands the way you did then. you’ve never felt the pit of your stomach rise up and consume you into a hot, searing want and need of another’s touch. you’ve never felt so connected and lost at the same time while being with someone. and you found it more special than your heart intended it to be.

kissing jaemin was not the same as kissing the rest. you’ve learned the hard way tonight.

and it all goes by faster than what jaemin, or you, had in mind. kisses turned rough and needy, hands hastily grasping at one another like you need each other. and maybe jaemin believed that he did need you. and it had shaken him like a leaf the night, holding you so close and locking you into his embrace.

“we don’t..” jaemin’s out of breath, lips swollen and a bright pink. you like the sight before you, “we don’t have to do anything.”

you tilt your head in confusion, rolling your hips down into his own in want and need. the breathy sigh jaemin exhales is enough to excite you, making you want more and more, “we don’t.” you agree with him.

jaemin looks at you for a solid ten seconds, even opting to count in his head for how long the tension was held, before kissing you once again and taking you as his own. jaemin is taking, and taking, and taking. and you would let him a thousand times over, if it meant him staying and being close like this forever. you enjoyed the feeling he gave you, maybe a bit too much. it felt like he was worshipping you, rather than getting ready to fuck you senseless. you weren’t exactly opposed to either, though.

“i don’t have a condom,” jaemin announces when you’re splayed beneath him, looking as beautiful as ever. he had never seen a sight so heart wrenching until then, and he wanted to blame the ache in his heart for being so reckless with his feelings.

you let a soft laugh that echoes into the air and makes its way into jaemin’s soul, “don’t worry, i’m on the pill. please, i need you.”

you need him. and he wishes it were in more ways than one. but then that would be plain selfish, right..? right?

jaemin’s body shakes when he enters you, “you’re so tight, and warm.” he huffs out a breath, and listens to the way you let out a pleased sound. you felt like you were on fire, body heating up with his own and clutching desperately onto his shoulders. he could feel the sharp parts of your nails starting to dig deeper and deeper into his skin, but he didn’t mind. he didn’t mind at all, actually.

“move,” you let out a shaky breath, “please, move.”

jaemin has so self control around you, and he finds it just slightly dangerous. when he begins to move, a shock runs up and down your spine. he watches the way your eyes roll back into your head, and he let’s out a soft groan of his own. the sight of you, the sound of you, the feel of you. it’s all too much for him, and yet not enough at the same time.

jaemin feels himself straining the more he fucks into his, and you can feel him pulsing inside you, hitting right where you need him most. it feel so good, so fucking good. you never want to let go of him. you never want to let go of this moment, this memory.

“you feel so.. so good,” he utters out sweet words that sends a chill through your whole entire body.

“you, too. god, you too. you’re fucking me.. so well.” your response is breathy, a choked moan leaving you as he speeds up his pace just a bit more.

nothing felt wrong. nothing felt out of place in jaemin’s world. not when it came to you. and you could confidently say the same thing for him. maybe it was fast, too fast. everything seemed to be moving by within a blink of an eye, but you just felt so.. happy. so content. you were lost in a world where jaemin took over, and you couldn’t complain. not even once could you complain.

when jaemin feels himself getting close, leans down to kiss you, “you’re wrapping so tightly around me.” he meant in more than one way, not that you would know or anything.

“fuck,” you scratch along his back and bring him closer to you, wrapping your legs around his waist so he’s deeper inside you, “i’m so close..” your whines are so precious, a song in his head he wishes to repeat.

“you can cum, baby.” the nickname has you shivering, “cum for me. be my sweet, good girl and cum for me.”

you fall in the trap, clenching and unclenching around his length and falling apart in his arms. jaemin shudders a quiet “fuck” and falls apart with you, release deep inside you and riding out both of your highs. you feel full with his cum inside you, and jaemin feels worn out but content. sweat lingering on his forehead as he drops his head into your neck, peppering light kisses there as to prove he’s still there.

so, so close. you’re so close. jaemin’s heart is beating too fast for him to keep up, and it’s so hot in the room now. he feels himself crashing before he can even fall.

selfish, he hears again, so selfish.

“so,” renjun starts, and you already feel the regret sink into your skin, “what you’re telling me is, you’re not dating still?”

you roll your eyes, “not everything has to have a label on it, renjun. it was such a sudden, spur of the moment kind of thing.” you twist nervously, and renjun scoffs where he stands.

“you fucked.” “and? we’re adults. adults fuck.” you spit back, arranging your clothes in your closet and putting them away. renjun leans against the doorframe, watching you with ease. maybe renjun worries too much for you, but something about the situation makes him anxious and full of worry. he wasn’t used to it.

“touché.” renjun doesn’t say much else, leaving his pondering thoughts inside his head. you catch on, though.

sighing, you hang up your last bit of clothing before turning towards him, “whatever happens, i’m sure i can handle it.”

renjun doesn’t doubt you. not for a second does he doubt you. but he simply doesn’t want you to be put into a tough situation that you struggle to get out of. renjun is incredibly happy for you. but sometimes momentarily held romances aren’t good for the soul. they crush you and you have to find a way to make yourself new again. renjun didn’t want that for you.

“i know you can.” he simply replies, and he lets you handle it yourself. maybe a part of him wishes he had stepped in and told you to back down. but you probably wouldn’t have listened.

maybe you knew. maybe a part of you knew it wouldn’t end well after that night. but you held on anyway, and you can’t blame yourself for trying. you needed to know in order to not wonder.

“i have to go,” renjun checks the time on his phone, “please text me if you need anything, i’ll answer when i can.”

you nod your head, “of course, you too.”

renjun leaves the room with a hum, and when you hear the door close, you realize you’re stuck alone with your thoughts again. maybe jaemin shouldn’t have consumed so much of your brain the way he did. in fact, you knew he shouldn’t have.

little did either of you know, you were both living in a painful silence.

seeing you again, for jaemin, was like seeing light again after many years of living in the dark. your smile warmed his heart, and set his body aflame. nothing for jaemin was set in stone, and the harsh reality dawned on him at such an odd, painful time. he hoped his mind would give him a break in the presence of you, but he was hopeful too soon. way too soon.

you sigh, a sound jaemin became used to hearing over the past few months, “forever.”

jaemin feels pricks starting to form in his skin, “uh.. what?”

you laugh lightly at the slight panic you hear in his voice, “forever is such a commitment, terrifying if you ask me.” jaemin couldn’t agree more. “and.. you’re stuck with yourself. forever.”

jaemin wants to fill the tense silence in the air, but can’t bring himself to speak.

“it all comes down to one thing,” you pause, taking a light sip of your warm tea, “and it’s you. it’s always going to be yourself.. i think about this a lot, you know.” you place your tea down, resting your head in your hand on your breakfast bar as the both of you sit there. “no matter what decisions you make, or what decisions others make, you’ll still have yourself. i think there’s times where i remember why i chose this life.”

you look at him.

“why i chose to be me.”

jaemin kisses you out of instinct. he feels a pain start to flood his bones and consume his brain. listening to you was a new type of ache, and he wasn’t sure how much more of it he could take. foreign feelings seem to swallow him whole before he can really start to take a look back to what he was before. it feels like pins and needles are stabbing right through him the longer he kisses you, the longer you kiss him back. the more he feels your touch, the more he wants. it’s such a dangerous bridge that he’s starting to cross, but he can’t find it in himself to stop getting lost in you.

you could say the same for him. you were so lost in him, deep in whatever he had given to you. burning to the touch. tangling between unspoken words and soft touches.

such a mess, you think.

a mess you were willing to clean up, if it meant being like this for a bit longer.

you were committing yourself to a future type of pain you were unsure you would be able to take. but you stayed anyway. and jaemin held you in a way you weren’t quite used to yet, but could definitely get used to. you were breathing the same air as him, right in that moment. and jaemin found himself cupping your jaw to angle the kiss more to his favor, and you found yourself entangling your heart with his in a clumsy way you haven’t done before. you’ve fallen in love before, and you definitely wouldn’t say you were in love with him. not in any way were you in love with jaemin.

but you were beginning.

it was the beginning of your fall.

you were burning. you could feel your whole entire being start to burn, and ache, and turn into ash. you were starting to learn it wasn’t a good feeling; standing in front of jaemin, eyes narrowed, brows furrowed, confusion and frustration written on your face. jaemin looked worried, and lost. you weren’t used to such an expression on his face, and you were sure you would remember this memory too for as long as you lived. painful memories don’t seem to fade either, no matter how much you want them to.

jaemin sits on your couch, and he suddenly feels like a child being scolded for something he did. maybe he deserved to be scolded right now. the whole entire situation was messy, and completely out of his hands. he could lie to you. he could lie right now and give you an answer that you want, but he knows that’s worse than holding the real answer from you. he wants to let it all out, he wants to show you everything you’re missing in context. but he can’t. and it pains him more than he thought it would.

selfish, repetition, so selfish.

“i just.. can’t.” vague. he’s too vague with you. you realized that, over time, jaemin had given you little to nothing while you gave him everything. this would mark month five into whatever the fuck you were doing, and it was starting to get miserable in such a short amount of time.

you sigh, placing yourself next to him on the couch. how did it come to this? you were honestly just a bit curious of where you stood with him, after about two months of just fucking and kissing and his romantic gestures screwing you over, it was getting frustrating. he started to consume your brain and thoughts late at night when you had no one to console you. he was like a ghost, haunting you at the worst times and creating a distant memory that would stick forever. lingering around you.

“i never asked for a specific label,” you started, tone starting to get bitter, “i just wanted to know where your head was at.. you confuse me, jaemin.” you look at him, and his gaze stays lowered to the ground. “i know barely anything about you. i only really know why you moved here, and even that was fairly vague. i’m lost, jaemin. i’m very lost.”

he was too. jaemin was so, so damn lost. he fell down a hole he dug himself, and now it’s too steep and he can’t seem to find a way out. jaemin can’t tell you that he has to leave soon. he can’t bring it in himself to just let it all out and tell you what exactly is holding him back from just being with you. this thought causes jaemin to finally make eye contact with you, and he can see the water starting to well in his own eyes. he catches the shock on your face when you realize that jaemin is crying, silently bearing his soul to you and showing you a different kind of vulnerability.

unspoken words, and soft touches.

maybe that’s all you will ever be.

you wipe away his tears, “i’m sorry.”

jaemin feels broken at the apology you speak to him. he feels anger start to seep within him, and he wants to shout and scream and let loose. he was tired of feeling so trapped and stuck, and you could have been his only hope. you might have been. but who’s to say it would be a good thing to get out? maybe he was terrified to come out of what he knew best, of what he was comfortable with now. everything felt like pure torture. actual, unadulterated pain.

“no,” jaemin replies, swatting your hand away gently, “i’m sorry.”

“stop, it’s okay. sometimes we just don’t know what we want, and i shouldn’t put that kind of pressure on you.”

guilt. absolute guilt.

it sinks within his bones, and buries him alive. jaemin knows what he wants. he does. he knows he wants you, but he also knows what he wants is what he can’t have. but jaemin says nothing, and lets the air fall into a tense silence that starts to ring in his head. he can hear the dull air. it’s loud, deafening almost. and it tears him apart, because he knows he could possibly fix your broken conscience and tell you everything. but he doesn’t.

he stays quiet.

jaemin remembers leaving your apartment after that. he also remembers your short, lively memories that the two of you created within the past five months. the soft, gentle memories wash over him in silent hope and cause light to flitter through his body. he feels alive thinking of you. selfishly alive.

you were stuck thinking of jaemin all night after. it felt like a fight, but it also didn’t. you wouldn’t exactly consider it a fight, or anything. but, why did it hurt so bad? why did you feel the ache in your chest? why was your heart beating faster than usual?

you press a palm flat to your chest, trying to soothe the pain and slow your heart. thinking of jaemin alone was starting to eat you alive. you felt obsessed, all over the place and only thinking of jaemin. it would always track back down to jaemin, you noticed. and it was a terrifying experience to learn that you were beginning to feel stronger and stronger towards him as the days passed.

maybe that’s why it hurt so much.

you cared more than you were willing to admit.

“you better have a good explanation as to why the fuck you’ve been avoiding me.”

renjun’s voice echoes through your mind, but that’s all he really seems to be to you right now. a voice. you unintentionally ignored renjun’s calls and texts over the course of three days. jaemin hadn’t text, nor visited, within those three days since the altercation. it tore you apart, prompting you into not responding to anyone and isolating yourself more than you would like to. feelings felt so complicating. you were bouncing from one conclusion to the next, never really settling on something you could exactly seem to agree with. you would bounce from being angry, to being frustrated, to shedding tears, to feeling sad, all for it to cycle again and be put on repeat. a horrible cycle, at that.

renjun became worried when you didn’t answer his texts like you usually do. he figured maybe you needed space and time. maybe something happened. and he was right, something did happen. but you not responding for three days straight got to him, finally making way to your apartment on his own. renjun cares, you know he does. and maybe locking him out of your inner world shouldn’t have been the solution to all your problems, but you seemed to have locked everyone and everything out. wallowing in your own self-pity day and night.

you had become accustomed to going through the motions within those three days, making sure to give yourself the proper nutrients you needed in order to stay alive. but nothing felt exact and alive anymore. it tore you apart, bit by bit. piece by piece.

you say nothing as renjun storms in your room, catching you laying in bed while staring at the ceiling. renjun stops the anger bubbling in his throat to catch a real look at you, and his own heart starts to ache. it’s like he can feel what you feel, and it wasn’t good.

and he knows.

without you saying anything, he knows.

maybe that’s why you and renjun got along so well. neither of you needed to say what was wrong once one of you had taken a good look at the other. it was an unspoken understanding of one another, something you can’t exactly find anywhere else, within anyone else.

you remember renjun holding you that night as you cried deep into his shirt, possibly staining it with your tears from how much you let out that night. it was different. renjun had never seen you like this before in all the years he had known you, and he could feel his heart breaking for you. he feels the way you desperately claw at his chest, letting out these putrid sobs that ring so loudly, he’s sure even jaemin could probably hear it. he hoped you weren’t thinking too much of him, but he knew that wasn’t true. never would that ever be true.

when a week passes since the incident, you feel lighter. you thought you would never speak to him again, despite him being your neighbor. you knew you could always call, text. but so could he. it didn’t feel like your choice to make. you didn’t know what he wanted, and if he didn’t want you... why would you chase him down? it never felt like your call to make. it was his.

renjun holds you when you fall face first, and you let him. he comforts you on your worst nights, and you confide in him for as long as he’ll let you. which is forever. renjun will let you forever.

you’re alone tonight, letting out a soft sigh while trying to be content. when you hear a ring on your phone, you don’t hesitate to pick up, already knowing it’s going to be renjun checking in on you.

“hello?” you greet first, expecting a soft, gentle voice to be on the other line greeting you with a cheery tone.

“y/n.” it’s not renjun. and you can feel your palms start to sweat at the voice, making you more anxious than you can amount to. you feel dread wash over you in just a split second when you come to realize that you’re talking to jaemin.

jaemin isn’t sure why he called. maybe he shouldn’t have. he probably should have just let the situation die down and never resurface. so why the hell did he call? why was his body aching just to see you, feel you, hear you one more time? he screwed up. he could have done this sooner, so much sooner. this could’ve been solved head-on days ago, a whole entire week ago even.

so, why was he calling now?

“can you..” he pauses, swallowing thick air as he feels a lump in his throat begin to form, “can you speak to me? talk to me.” he likes listening to you. he wants to hear your voice, listen to the way you talk mindlessly about things that probably don’t matter, but at the same time do matter because they’re coming from you. he misses the way your voice enraptures him and takes a hold on him, not letting him go for the rest of the night.

he’s being selfish again.

“what the hell..” you whisper, hurt laced in your voice and pain etching every syllable, “no.”

“n-no?”

“no.” you’re stern, spitting back at him and feeling anger start to rise, “who the hell do you think you are? calling me a week fucking later and asking for me to talk to you? i gave you a week, jaemin. a whole entire week to speak to me, and you didn’t.”

“i missed your voice.” he blurts, “i’m selfish. i’ve been more selfish than i’ve ever been in my whole entire life with you.” he can sense you’re about to reply, but doesn’t let you. not yet. “i process how i feel too late. i take things for granted, and i push them away just when things start to get good. i’ve always been that way. i have no excuse for my actions. i want you to be different, trust me when i say that i really, really do..” he gulps, and he can hear himself starting to talk faster than usual again. “i just don’t think it works for me that way.”

“why? why not?” you question immediately, and jaemin expects it.

it’s silent on the other line for longer than you would have liked it to be, “do you remember the first time i kissed you?”

you want to scold him for the subject change, but don’t. “yes.”

“i had never felt more alive than i did there.” jaemin says in a quiet voice sounding of soft, pondering thoughts. “it felt like i had a fresh, new beginning kissing you. i lived in a dream world around you. i lived in my head.”

it’s quiet for a few moments. you can hear him breathing on the other line, and it makes you wonder what he’s thinking.

“...and i think that’s the problem.”

you feel yourself starting to shatter. tears were starting to spill, and you were almost embarrassed of yourself for letting yourself cry like this again. especially while on the phone with jaemin.

jaemin feels his own breath starting to tremble as he sits alone in his apartment, the one across from yours. at any moment he could walk over and see you. but maybe it was a dangerous line to cross right now. maybe this was what was best for the both of you.

“i can’t keep living in my head. it’s dangerous, it’s scary.”

jaemin jumps when he hears a knock on his door. it’s you, isn’t it? he wants to say he hesitated when he answered the door, but he doesn’t seem to have any self control when it comes to you. he opens the door to see you holding the phone to your ear, just to watch you hang up the line and place your phone in your sweatpants pocket. he does the same.

“i live in my own head, too.” you say it with ease, but he can feel how bitter you are when you start to clench and unclench your jaw. “you’re not the only one. and i don’t expect you to just magically let me in, i never said that. it just sucks when after i’ve tried everything, done everything, you still push me away like i was nothing.. a whole entire week, and you said nothing. i tore myself apart for you. i tore myself apart because of you.”

he never wanted to be that for you. when jaemin started talking to you, he never expected it to get this far. he never thought things through when it came to you, no matter how much he may have lived inside his head. no matter how long he would overthink things for, he still ended up choosing the selfish road.

“i’m scared..” jaemin starts. and it’s obvious he’s holding everything in to not fall apart. “i’m scared that, once i let myself go, i’ll lose everything i worked so hard to get towards. you became apart of my life in such a short amount of time. it was so quick, it scared me. it still scares me.” he isn’t lying. he isn’t lying. he isn’t lying. “i just..” let it out. let it fucking out.

“just what?”

he can’t.

he holds it in, letting out a deep breath instead.

“i just don’t want to miss you. i don’t want to miss what i could have.” he’s being honest, completely honest.

maybe you should’ve talked more than that, but you opted out on just kissing him instead. it was raw, and intense. it wasn’t graceful or slowed. it was rushed and harsh, something you weren’t used to when it came to jaemin. you could feel him pouring his emotions out as he kissed you with fervor, and he could taste the pain and anger on your lips as you tangled your hands in his dark strands of hair. your body warming up to him, his own reacting to you in ways he couldn’t seem to remember since he last time he kissed you. pain was seeping through your soul, and into his.

when you pull apart, you have tears running down your cheeks and furrowed eyebrows. even when you’re angry crying, jaemin still becomes more enamored with you in all ways possible. it’s sickening, really. sends a nervous feeling in his stomach the longer he looks at you, the more he studies you.

“i’m here, though.” you finally reply, a choked sob breaking the sentence. “i’m right here.”

you are. and it’s painfully true that you, in fact, right here.

“but i’m not.”

silence.

complete silence.

you knew what he meant. no matter how much he may have physically been there in front of you, he was not there mentally. and you figured that he was unsure if he ever would be. it’s painful, it’s so damn painful. and it rips you apart and tears you a new one. nothing really compared to this, in all honesty. not this type of pain. not this type of hurt.

“are you calling it quits?” you ask suddenly, and it sends a stake right through jaemin’s heart. not in a million years would he ever want to let go of you, or what you had.

jaemin is incredibly tired. he’s tired of hurting you to no end and creating memory after memory, just until he knows when he has to leave. he can only really imagine how you feel right now. not knowing at all why he’s doing this to you. why he’s hurting you so much. he doesn’t want to be that for you. he really, really doesn’t.

jaemin kisses you first this time, instead of answering you. maybe he should have answered you. but it seemed to be poor choice after poor choice when it came to him. you couldn’t find it in yourself to back away, to demand an answer. you didn’t think you really wanted one, anyway. you weren’t prepared. you didn’t think you could ever be prepared for his answer, even if it was the one you wanted it to be. you weren’t really sure what that answer was either.

so you let him kiss you, and you kiss him back. because you’re unsure, and you know he’s just as unsure as you are. maybe even more unsure than you. and kissing him seems to burn you alive, but you let it. you keep letting it.

one more memory to add to the book.

one more time you feel yourself fall deeper into jaemin.

waking, you feel your limbs ache. you can hear the soft raining patting against your window already so early in the morning. instead of birds chirping, it’s rain hitting lightly at your windowpane. you get up to open the curtains, taking sight of the trails of trees in front of you. jaemin was right when he said this place was a bit away from the busy atmosphere, and you appreciated the gentle quietness you got to experience on days like these. it was calming, and you didn’t feel rushed back into reality for the time being. it was just you, no one else.

you jump in shock when you hear your front door opening and closing, “holy fuck.”

renjun comes into view with a frantic look on his face, “y/n-”

“i should really revoke your key to my apartment-” you let out a lighthearted chuckle.

“i think jaemin’s gone.” cold.

it was cold.

you were freezing, but jaemin had already insisted on going to the park at such a late hour, “you’re not going to, like, kill me, right?” you sound shaky, but it was only from the cold.

jaemin rolls his eyes, giving you a sweet laugh that lights you up, “no, i’m not. but i guess that’s what all killers say.”

“touché.” you huff, and you can see your breath in the cold air, “jaemin, it’s freezing, why the fuck are we at a park?”

he places himself on a swing, “come sit.”

you pause, before making way to where he’s sat on his own swing. it’s silent, and you can hear the wind in your ears. you can feel the cold on your fingertips. you can taste the winter on your tongue. sitting in the comfortable silence with jaemin wasn’t a bad thing. you actually enjoyed just simply being around him, but why were you out in the cold? so late?

“i go to parks, on swings, late at night when i want to think. when i want to clear my head.” jaemin starts, “i’m in my head a lot. i overthink everything, and i tend to exhaust myself more than i can handle. i’m sure that’s not the first thing you think of when you see me, huh?” jaemin gives you a quick glance, amusement on his pretty features.

you look at him with a certain type of patience that makes jaemin feel warm and safe inside. it’s almost overwhelming, in a sense. but it drips with honey and creates a foundation in his heart that he’s sure he won’t be able to get rid of. he likes it, he likes it a lot.

“i’m not myself.” he states, and it feels solemn. “i’m not who i’m supposed to be, yet. and i think it tears me apart in the worst ways. i can see it, i can feel it, taste it even.” he pauses, feeling along the chains of the swing absentmindedly, “but i’m not there yet. i can’t become it, no matter how much i imagine it.” jaemin lets silence sink in, before continuing with a soft tone that breaks both you and him apart. “you would think that, if i wanted it so bad, if i wanted it enough, it would be here by now. i would already be who i’m supposed to be.”

his words cut through you in ways you can’t describe, and all you can really do is listen.

“i think i have a lot of learning, and unlearning to do.” jaemin says this with his whole chest, and you know he means it. “i’ve only really known you for five months, and we’ve already had two arguments, but i wouldn’t have wanted to share these memories with anyone else.”

“i mean that.”

“gone..?”

reality hits you full force before you can realize what’s happening. it’s painful, it’s heartbreaking, and you’re being dumped into an ocean of cold water before you can even process how you’re truly feeling. it’s like getting your heart torn out. it’s like not knowing where you’re going to end up next, because it doesn’t feel like there is going to be a next. your bones are soaking in pain, swallowing you whole and making sure you feel every inch of it.

renjun hands you a note wordlessly, it has your name written on it in pretty handwriting, and you’re cursing him already for having good handwriting. “it was on his own door. i tried knocking, but there was no answer. went to the lobby and they said he moved out just a few hours ago.”

you sink. you crash and burn and sink and drown. falling back onto the edge of your bed, staring wildly at the letter in your hands. you watch as tears start to soak up the paper while you hastily take out the ink covered note.

“y/n.

i can’t say i’m good with confrontation, because then that would just be a plain lie. but i think we’ve gone past lies at this point. believe me when i say i thought of telling you that i was temporary, that i knew i had to leave at some point. you were such a light for me, a breath of fresh air. you brought me out of a dark hole i had been living in for way too long. but, if i had stayed any longer, i would have dragged you down with me in the end. i don’t want you to say that you would have been able to handle it, or that you wished i had stayed. i can’t. i couldn’t have. i can’t be the person anymore who hurts you and leaves a lingering ghost around your head. i don’t want to be the person who stains you any more than i already have. maybe i’m doing exactly what i don’t want to be for you right now. but, if i had stayed, i wouldn’t have been able to be with you in the way you deserve. i had to leave. i was on a journey to find myself, and i found you along the way. i thought, maybe, you could help me out of whatever sinkhole i’m in. maybe you were the cure to it. i soon realized that it wasn’t you who should do the saving. i need to save myself, i need to be my own hero for once. this might stick in your mind forever,  but i promise it was never about you. i really, really liked you. more than i can really handle while feeling like this. i could even feel myself falling for you along the way. but i think, before i even consider that, i need to fall in love with myself first. you helped me begin a new path, and helped me realize that there are things to love and look forward to in life. and i need to figure out how to use that in the real world. i need to figure out how to use that on myself.

i’m sorry i never said anything sooner. i should have. thank you for helping me find a part of myself in the journey of finding out who i’m supposed to be. i’ll never forget you, ever.

- jaemin.

you want to be mad. you want to curse at him and scream and cry at the top of your lungs. but all you can do is shed bittersweet tears and sink and drown and fall. you so, so fucking much wanted to be pissed. you wanted to be livid. but you weren’t. and you felt slightly bitter that you weren’t. you could only cry as sour and sweet started to mix within you and make you remember every single memory and detail jaemin gave you before leaving.

so much, yet so little.

“i’m sorry, y/n.” renjun’s voice echoes in your head, and he no longer feels like just a voice to you. he’s actually there, and you appreciate him so damn much.

“don’t be.” you wipe away your tears just for new ones to fall right after. you let yourself feel pain, you didn’t shy away from it and you didn’t stop yourself from falling part. how would you heal if you didn’t know pain first?

you let out a long, long shaky sigh, “you know, i almost fell in love with him.” you admit this with your heart on you sleeve and renjun listens to you with attending ears. “i was so, so close to just.. giving it all up for him.”

renjun slips in the seat beside you on the edge of your bed, pulling you into his embrace. you accept it, much like all the other times he had held you. it was warm, and he smelled like his normal self. nothing about renjun was unfamiliar, nothing about this felt unsafe or unsure. renjun would always be there, and you couldn’t thank him enough as you loudly cried into his shirt out of sorrow.

deep, deep sorrow.

“have you ever had a love that’s bigger than you?”

your quick answer, no. you haven’t.

but you were pretty damn close with jaemin.

so, so damn close.

and that’s all you’ll have with him.

unspoken words, and soft touches.

a/n: hi ! thank you so much denise for having me on this collab, and thank you everyone who read it! please make sure to check out everyone else’s works as well if you haven’t ! the link of the collab is at the very top underneath the title. :] i like to think this truly was a montage of love, because not all love is beautiful or ends sweetly. bittersweet endings are painful, but they help you grow as a person. i hope everyone gets what i mean haha ANYWAY ! thank you again :] please remember to take care and stay healthy as always.

#jaemin #jaemin smut #jaemin angst #jaemin fluff #na jaemin #nct jaemin #nct #nct smut #nct angst #nct fluff #jaemin scenarios #jaemin scenario #jaemin x reader #jaemin imagines #jaemin imagine #jaemin drabble #jaemin drabbles #nct dream #nct jaemin smut #nct jaemin angst #nct jaemin fluff #jaemin timestamps #jaemin timestamp

[ryouverua]

Saimota is a fantastic ship that only improves with age and their respective maturity. Right from the get-go we see this in canon, too! They have a tumultuous first clash at the end of chapter 1 which is immediately turned on its head, and the subsequent growth and development of their in-game relationship really stands out that much more because of it.

This is a long one, so strap in!

Kaito realizes his mistake in his approach after punching him the night before and rectifies it immediately the next morning when he notices Shuichi hasn’t come to breakfast, rightly guessing that he’s stewing in his own grief and misery. And then, being the emotionally intelligent guy he is, he follows up that night and drags him out to exercise (which, y’know, releases endorphins and is scientifically proven to help with mood boosts and even depression) - a move which Shuichi says in chapter 5 saved his life.

A couple days pass and a body drops. Kaito supports him through the investigation knowing that Kaede had been with him last time and that there’s a danger of him relapsing. In the trial, too, Kaito makes every effort to let Shuichi know that he isn’t alone and someone does have his back if he fumbles. This is the real moment that Shuichi chooses to depend on Kaito and is rewarded for it, and while Kaito does get plenty of ego-feed out of it, he believes in Shuichi and his talent wholeheartedly (enough so that it’ll come back to bite him later). But despite it being framed as a ‘hero and sidekick’ relationship, it’s not just for Kaito’s self-worth - it’s to take some of the mental load off of Shuichi, who really, really doesn’t want the pressure of everyone’s lives solely on his shoulders, and is now dealing with the guilt of two cases where uncovering the guilty party hurt him.

(quick chapter 2 interlude! while this is where a lot of the big hero-worship begins for Shuichi and happens to be where I also did his first FTE and got to witness this:

this is also the chapter when these moments happen, post-breakfast and post-casino scene respectively:

and this happens in the very next FTE:

mmm yes, the duality of man. Suffice it to say, while Shuichi has definite rose-coloured glasses on for a lot of the game, Kaito is definitely not an invincible, untouchable hero in his eyes)

Interestingly enough, despite Shuichi still very much leaning into their friendship (and vice versa), they don’t spend a lot of time together in Chapter 3 after he brings Maki out to training that first night! While Chapter 4 is their real ‘break’, Kaito spends a lot of time in his room in the second half while Shuichi gets to know Maki better. And while Maki is a much, uh, meaner investigation partner (love you girl, but that tongue is sharp), they make a great team. Shuichi also starts poking at Kaito’s reason for holing up in his room, incorrectly guess that it’s just related to the occult being brought up. Most importantly, Shuichi is able to do an investigation on his own independent of Kaito just a week after the end of Chapter 1.

Chapter 4 and its immediate aftermath in 5 is great because it showcases Kaito’s flaws and insecurity, and what conflict between the two of them look like. It’s because Kaito respects Shuichi so much that cracks in his own confidence start appearing - and while Shuichi can be obtuse and awkward at times, he shows signs of wanting to broach some more sensitive topics with Kaito; if you do FTEs with Kaito in Ch 4, he even has an inner narrative in which he notes that Kaito had said his stomach hurt before.

He’s not so self-absorbed as to not worry about his friend (but narratively we gotta save that juicy plot point and subsequent reveal for the end of the trial) but hey, Kaito wants to chill and just shoot the shit - so why not have some downtime with his friend in the murder school. Btw, their FTE availability ends here - so if Shuichi has completed them with Kaito, he’s already had his canon-saimota thoughts at this point. While I have given Shuichi the side-eye for his ‘I can rely on Kaito for anything’ spiel, he is fully able and willing to stand up to Kaito in the Chapter 4 trial despite his canon feelings for him at that point. By the way, it’s been a week and a half since the end of Chapter 1 at this point. Shuichi and Kaito have had an arc together where they become fast friends in a pressure-cooker situation and bonding over shared grief for Kaede (even if Kaito’s is less obvious), Shuichi starts as dependent on Kaito’s emotional support but learns to stand on his own two feet, and Kaito is forced to confront his own weakness and hero persona, all while classmates are dropping (including Kaito’s own ex-hero figure, a stark reminder that ‘heroes’ do have flaws).

So the beginning of Chapter 5 is wild to me because of how it’s so often misinterpreted as Kaito immaturely giving Shuichi the silent treatment despite the entirety of the game preceding it explicitly showing that Kaito will tell you, loudly, when he’s angry at you, and that’s purely because we’re in Shuichi’s perspective and he thinks that’s what’s going on - but that’s a bit of a tangent. What I like about it is how we get to see what happens when Kaito (as sick as he is at that point) feels badly and embarrassed with someone he is close to; he withdraws as opposed to lashing out. And while Shuichi is really, really bad at reaching out too without an inciting incident (tunnel escape), he does try and broach the topic when push comes to shove. He’s not lost in hero worship, not even close - he is rightfully upset that the person he’s closest to at the school is upset while still maintaining to himself and the others that his actions were correct. He doesn’t waver on this, despite his attempt to offer an olive branch at the window of the hangar’s bathroom. He truly stands by his own choices in the last class trial and know he won't back down on that if push comes to shove, and that's important - he won't yield the point just to appease Kaito. Shuichi then manages the investigation on his own, leads the trial on his own, faces off with Maki (and who he thinks is Kokichi) on his own, because he has *reached* a point where he can be independent. And to bring it back to how we get a look at ‘saimota in conflict’, Shuichi and Kaito both make amends with each other by the end of the chapter. Even if it’s spurred by it being their final goodbye, Shuichi gets to say his piece, Kaito lays out one of his own vulnerabilities so he can make peace with Shuichi - and even if I’d love to have had them delve into all of Kaito's various issues, there is a very murderous robobear overseeing this which makes time a factor - and I firmly believe that if they had more time, they could’ve resolved even more of the issues that would come up for Saimota. The groundwork wasn’t just there; there was already half the structure in place. And that’s what makes saimota even more appealing to me, tbh. We get to see them build a relationship, run into a big issue, struggle through it and resolve it by the end of the game - and it means that there’s precedent for them to do it again as more interpersonal challenges come up! It’s a goldmine of ship exploration, and they care about each other enough to work through it.

… By the way, at this point they are 2 weeks past the end of Chapter 1.

Imagine if they had more time. Imagine if Shuichi, who is absolutely dogged in pursuing an issue once he catches wind of it (despite how he can get wrapped up in his own head), who cares a lot for other people, who doesn’t just find runaways as part of his detective talent, but follows up with them after because he cares about more than just finishing the job, had the chance to spend years with Kaito and realize he uses his hero persona to protect a much more fragile sense of self. Imagine Shuichi forming that initial friendship with Kaito without the albatross of Kaede’s death hanging around his neck; about how he’ll still look up to Kaito and his fantastic positivity, passion and excellence in his chosen field, and that would only be matched by Kaito’s own admiration of Shuichi’s skills as a detective. Imagine if Kaito, who repeatedly shows the ability to reflect and change his mind when presented with evidence against his viewpoint and was able to express his own insecurity and jealousy to Shuichi in the end, was given the breathing room and space to get more comfortable with doing so. Imagine how difficult and emotionally mature they were to navigate as well as they did in a life-or-death situation that took place over a couple of weeks tops, and how much more they could grow if given the time and space for it.

... And this was nearly going to be where I ended the post, until Ira reminded me of TDP and sent me this wonderful Saimota event (which takes place before the final graduation/training trio event):

Oh hey, Shuichi picked up his catchphrase! It's quite cute how he's finishing Kaito's sentence here - he's spent a couple of years being friends with Kaito at this point, and has even taken up exercising on his own for stress relief. I wonder whose influence that was?

Anyway -

Shuichi has figured out at this point that he does need to firmly extend that helping hand to Kaito rather than worry and keep it to himself. On the other side, Kaito has learned that it is okay to accept that outstretched hand, even if he doesn't need it right now - that he can admit that some day, he might. He's being blase, sure, but it is a far cry from his in-game 'I don't/won't need help'. Good for you, Kaito - you've grown a lot! And that's the most important thing their TDPs show - their capacity for growth not just as individuals, but in a relationship. Of course there will be bumps along the way - it’s very rare that any relationship won’t have them! - but they've proven that they can work these problems in the worst of circumstances. This is by far one of the strongest ships with canon foundation in the entire series, and my goodness do I still love it years later.

#saimota #Kaito Momota #momosai #Shuichi Saihara #Danganronpa v3 #spoilers #drv3 spoilers #saimota.... is good #long drv3 posts in 2021? it's more likely than you think

[qyllenhaal]

❛ Home ❜

Series: The Devil I Know

Senator!Chris Evans x Reader

Word Count: 1.5k~

Summary: Chris makes it back home after time away from Y/n.

warnings: 18+ only!!! Unprotected sex, age gap (reader is in her late 20s), this fic is largely fluff and sleepy sex.

A/N: I have another WIP and hopefully it will be out this coming week.

Enjoy!

After three weeks of in-party fighting, stonewalling, and a lackluster bill passing, Chris needed this. He needed to come home from D.C. and feel Y/n's sweet embrace engulfing him.

His plane landed two hours ago and he was already with her. He was surprised that she was still up, but she was more surprised that he showed up at her door in the late hour.

"What are you doing here? Did you just get in?"

Her voice was scratchy but he found it sexy; along with her pajama shorts and his sweater draping over her body. She's wearing his sweater from college that has his alma mater proudly stitched into it.

She had more questions for him, but he just ignored whatever came out of her mouth as he rolled his suitcase into her apartment. The TV and a small table lamp gave him enough light to see that her coffee table is littered with papers.

"Aren't you tired? Don't you want to go home-"

"Come here girl," he quickly cut her off to grab her arm and pull her into his chest. Y/n stopped firing off her questions and melted into him when she felt just how warm he is. She felt him inhale deeply to take in the scent of her.

Y/n had missed him so damn much. It was tough navigating her days without Chris here. There were no secret texts or notes for her to come to his office. Meetings weren't that fun when there wasn't someone to steal glances at. She missed seeing that look in his eyes that meant he was going to take her on his desk after the meeting was over. Having him stand right here in front of her almost felt surreal.

"I missed you so much. It was hell without you," he whispered into her ear.

Chris wrapped his hands around her waist/ He brought Y/n closer to his body. Both of them know that he didn't just come here to watch TV or "catch-up"; they could do that later.

His hands palmed the exposed part of her ass. He nearly knocked the window out of her when he pressed his lips against hers. Chris moved his lips against her with hunger. The taste of bitter coffee lingered on her lips and he nearly became giddy with excitement because he was finally with her.

Y/n felt his hardened cock press into her front. The desire for him had only doubled since he appeared at her door that it almost made her feral. She was nearly tearing his clothes off. His shirt came over his head and Y/n started fumbling with his belt.

"Be patient Button," he taunted her breathlessly as he stopped her. As much as it would be hot to fuck her against the wall, he was too tired to continue standing up. Besides, nothing would be better than getting a nice ride from her, it would be a treat.

The irony of telling her to be patient while he could be that was not lost on her. He pulled her flimsy shorts down but he kept the sweater on her. He is very possessive over her and seeing her adorn his sweater makes him proud.

Chris sat on her couch and she straddled him. His large hands rested on her sides as she kissed him again.

"I want to feel you inside of me," she whimpered between their rough kisses. "I want to feel you splitting me open."

Chris groaned at her filthy words, wanting the very same thing if not even more than her. The time he finally let her take his cock out of his pants. A dull ache sat in her belly seeing just how hard and thick he is for her. She touched his cock as if it was fire. Pre-cum leaked out from the tip when she gave him a few pumps.

"Let me feel how wet you are," the tone of his voice made his words sound like a demand.

His hand snaked under the oversized sweater on her so he could feel how slick she was. Something about feeling the wetness on his hand that made him turn primal. What he really wanted to do was flip her onto her back and fuck her into the couch. He may be too tired now, but he has plenty of time now that he's back home.

Y/n didn't stop kissing him even though she was finally sinking down on his cock. Her gasp turned into moans muffled by his mouth. There was a slight discomfort as she filled herself to the brim with him but that didn't stop her from bouncing up and down on his cock. He helped her out by thrusting up into her. His hips moved sloppily but Y/n kept a steady rhythm.

A hand slipped under her shirt and Chris cupped her breast. His thumb ran along the ridges of her hardening nipple. Her cries of pleasure vibrated against his mouth and she began to swirl her hips against him.

"Fuck," Chris pulled away from her lips and buried his face into her neck. How much he missed her and how it feels so good to be inside of her overwhelmed him. He kissed her warm skin in all the places he knows she loves so much.

"I wanna cum so bad," she whined.

Chris looked up at her, deep into her eyes, and held her face. She slowed down her movements and focused on taking him deep inside of her.

"Missed feeling you so tight around me. Can I cum inside of you? Are you going to let me cum inside of you?"

Y/n nodded frantically before resting her forehead against his. The closeness and bond she felt with him almost brought a tear to her eye. His desires are felt and equally shared too. Just as much as he loved her warmth, she loved the feeling of his thick cock spearing her open. Every time he slid home inside of her and his tip poked her cervix, she felt delirious. He continued to spear her open with every blissful inch of his thick cock.

"Please cum inside...I missed you so much," she quietly sobbed.

She was spent, physically and emotionally. Her sleep schedule had gotten completely out of whack and her performance at work suffered because of it; deadlines were missed and papers were filled out haphazardly. It was somewhat embarrassing to admit, but seeing, or at least talking to Chris is a part of her daily routine. The absence of him disturbed her routine which resulted in staying up until the sun began to rise and buying too much coffee for her own good.

Y/n would never admit it though. She'd never admit it to Chris's face because she does not like having dependence on him. He was like a boyfriend, he even referred to himself as such, but she did not have the privilege of even holding his hand in public. It is absolutely unfair she can't scream out to the world that she is in love with him.

"I'm close," he whispered hastily into her ear. She closed her eyes and waited to feel his essence blessing her insides.

Chris's grip on her could not get any tighter as his levels of desire began to boil over. He feels lucky to be sliding into her slick heat once again. He's utterly possessive of her. The reason for why she is wet and crying into the crack of his neck is solely because of him.

She smells so good, just like the shampoo she uses. He almost becomes lightheaded with lust that turns his thrust sloppy. The grip he had on her became even tighter and he pounded away, his length rubbing against every sensitive spot inside of her to create the sweetest friction.

"I'm gonna give it all to you," he grunted, his accent as thick as can be. The increasing gruffness of his voice scratched a certain itch inside of her. And the stubble of his bear literally scratched the skin of her cheek.

He slowed down, nearly coming to a halt, as he began to release inside of her. Feeling him spilling inside of her made her sex contract around him. Her walls milked him as she began to cum just from feeling the warm sensation. His grip on him loosened and she fully sank down on him. The blunt tip of his cock hit her cervix, sending shivers down her spine. How she feels can only be compared to an intense, euphoric sensation.

Her orgasm hit her just seconds after his. Feeling his warmth inside of her really sent her over the sharp edge and diving head first into total pleasure. He didn't have to move anymore to know that he's still giving all that's left of his energy to feel good.

"I missed you...all of you," he whispered against her damp neck. He grabbed at her sides as if he was ready to go again.

"I'm so tired," she managed to say. Her nights have been so restless. Right now is the first time she has felt like her energy has been spent completely.

"I know, Button. Lay your head against my chest."

She listened even though her alarm for work is going to go off any minute now. Instead of worrying, she let herself be lulled by the sound of his heartbeat and succumbed to sleep.

#chris evans x reader #senator!chris #senator!chris evans x reader #chris evans smut #chris evans x y/n #smut #tdik series #fic #chris evans

[pray4jensen]

Are you hopeful about Misha being back and Dean returning Cas' feelings? I don't know what to think anymore but I'm not feeling hopeful and it makes me sad. I'm just having a hard time, I want to believe!

Hi anon! I can see how one could be skeptical because they’ve tried so hard to convince us that he wasn’t there for filming, not to mention that they really went all out with the call backs during Cas’ death scene. There was the hand print, the “wings” as the Empty takes him, and of course what definitely sounded like a deathbed one-sided love confession, but hey, they’ve also dropped a lot of clues to suggest otherwise, too! 

1) In 15.09, when Chuck shows Sam the future, it is one where Cas is dead. Cas’ death is shown directly to be the reason why Dean is hopeless in the future. He gives up completely and when he finally agrees to hunt with Sam, they fail because Dean’s unable to give it his best shot. The consequence of that hopelessness is that they get turned into vampires. A future without Cas means a future where Dean becomes the monster at the end of the book and dies, which means it is a future where Chuck wins. That doesn’t really sound like a show about free will, does it? 

2) To follow this, in 15.04, Becky specifically tells the audience that an ending with Sam and Dean dying and Cas absent is a bad ending. Becky is a fan of Supernatural, just like us, and all season, we’ve been told by the cast and crew that we’re going to get an ending that will please the fans. Chuck’s bad ending definitely wouldn’t fly with any fan of the show.

3) All of the above stresses the importance of Cas in the story. They can’t have a happy ending if he’s dead. Fifteen seasons have gone by, and we know one of the main themes of this show is free will. In 15.17, Chuck tells us that Cas is the only one who’s ever had true free will, who’s the only one who’s ever been able to influence Chuck’s story and break free of his control. By that same logic, Cas is the only one who can finally free Sam and Dean. He is the bringer of true free will and he is the only one who can hand it to humanity. 

4) And just beyond narrative reasons foreshadowing Cas’ return, there’s also what the cast has said. Misha’s confirmed Cas is queer, and if Cas died after coming out, we’d be stuck with the Bury Your Gays trope, a mistake that the writers made with Charlie in 10.21. And anon, fans have literally never let them live it down. I don’t think they’d make the same mistake twice; they were booed at Comic Con that year and the cast all saw the backlash. Misha said in his latest panel that he could see Cas’ death as Bury Your Gays, but that he felt this scene meant something more. If Cas came back and got a happy ending, it wouldn’t be Bury Your Gays anymore

5) Misha is also like...a really bad liar. He also fumbled a lot when asked about whether it was his last episode. He emphasized that that had been the last scene he shot for 15.18, not the last scene of the season. Not to mention the cast put on a little celebration for him when he ended his tenure on the show and we know it couldn’t have happened on the same night as 15.18 because when they wrapped for the episode, Misha talked about nearly dying in a plane crash that same night. This is...what truly makes me believe...it’s Misha’s nervous babbling during the interview...

As for whether I think Dean will also return Cas’ feelings with a love confession, there’s evidence for that, too:

1) In 15.09, when Dean loses Cas in purgatory, Dean tells Cas that he has something to say. Cas tells him he heard his prayer, but the look on Dean’s face strongly suggests otherwise. Whatever he has to say, it isn’t in the prayer we heard. It’s a loose end and a very important one at that. All season they’ve stressed the consequences of Dean’s anger and Dean’s prayer was all about anger and release. Bottling up his feelings and leaving that bit of whatever Dean wanted to say unsaid wouldn’t resolve this storyline in a satisfactory way.

2) Even during the confession itself, Dean wanted to say things. He wanted more time, he told Cas not to do this, and he sobbed when Cas got pulled away. If we don’t hear anything more about Dean’s feelings and what he was going to say, it would be HIGHWAY ROBBERY, and again, an unsatisfactory resolution to his story

3) Not to mention during the same episode as the confession, Charlie and Sam both had their girlfriends taken from them. Dean had his friend taken? Um. Try boyfriend. If Dean never confesses and lets the audience know that Cas is his romantic partner, this would be very strange writing...

4) My last piece of evidence is literally the last 12 years. The mixtape, people asking him if he had a break-up whenever he fights with Cas, people asking him who he’s pining for, people asking him if he can imagine having a romantic partner who understands the life and like, just the fact that he literally loses his will to live whenever anyone tries to take Cas away from him. Like listen, I watched the last seven years of this story unfold week by week. In that manner, it’s actually harder to see how much Dean longs for him. But recently, I’ve been rewatching the show with my roommate. When you’re binging it, Dean’s incessant about it. He’s always asking about Cas when Cas is gone. He’s always hopeless, always broken without him. Sam spends like every episode comforting him about it. It would be incredibly foolish for the writers to not address Dean’s side when they went ahead with Cas’ side. Also, I’ll like literally show up at their houses with a pitchfork.

Will it be anything like Cas’ confession? Will there be a kiss? Frankly, I don’t know, but never in my life did I ever imagine something as textual as Cas’ confession either so I’m HOPEFUL, more hopeful than I’ve been in years. I do think 100% Dean will return Cas’ feelings, but whether it will be as obvious as Cas’ confession and whether the show will depict an actual romantic relationship in the finale remains to be seen. 

#boredombabbles #spn spoilers #15x18 #destiel #ask #anon #I hope this helped! #ofc we don't know what's going to happen #but i have so much renewed hope after the last episode #i just...literally never thought they would go there #like listen i have been a super salty bitter and negative fan for seven years #i always stayed positive on this blog because i didn't want to get anyone down #but like literally if you had asked me in private about it #i wouldve been like NAH cas will never confess his feelings #and that cas will never come out as queer #but like WHAT THE HECK THEY ACTUALLY WENT THERE????? #and i'm never going to be the same #and i am so so HOPEFUL now #i still remain skeptical but guys i just.... #for the first time i believe and i think a lot of us are going through this same thing #and i think the last episode has shown us that having faith is not a bad thing after all #this ending is for us #and it specifically it seems to be an ending for destiel fans