#ares tries really hard to be a good bro

[trsrina]

playing genshin impact with zerobaseone

written in second person pov, gn reader, fluff, can be read as romantic or platonic

!! mentions of death in a game, mentions of food, not proofread

jiwoong

- the type to have no idea what he’s doing like he’s trying his best

- type to main whatever 5 star character he got first which was diluc who he finds really cool (diluc is so hot js like jiwoong) and kaveh is probably on his team

- he can beat normal opponents but sucks at fighting bosses and would need your help with domains/bosses

- makes you help him do spiral abyss but still acts tough and tries to help you fight off enemies in co-op but dies immediately

zhanghao

- has no idea what he’s doing pt 2

- only playing it bc you asked him to and he’s confused af yk with his disturbed face while he’s looking back and forth from your screen to his, contemplating how the hell he’s supposed to fight off those weird creatures which look like ricky to him while poor kaeya is being beat up on his screen

- yae miko main. idk what it is about them but they remind me of each other

- way too freaking lucky, somehow pulled yae the first day playing and manages to win all his 50/50s

hanbin

- plays it just to spend time with you and exerts a concerning amount of energy into this game just so he could have another common interest with you

- nahida or ganyu main

- ends up being better at genshin than you and helps you do your dailies, spiral abyss, trounce domains etc

- best co-op buddy in zb1!! lets you steal stuff from his world

matthew

- confused at hell at first but ends up being addicted

- look hear me out gorou’s like 99.999% on his team and mains ayaka no reason for this

- at first, he would pout and start mumbling about how weird this game is and the next week he’s ar 40 already somehow and has already progressed to sumeru

- buys you matching genshin keychains and stuff and probably will whale for himself but nags about how you’re wasting money on whaling for yourself

taerae

- idk why but i feel like he’d be concerningly good at genshin at first and speeds through the archon quests smoothly

- mains tighnari or yoimiya he just reminds me of these characters and he thinks tighnari is cute (prob a cynonari shipper)

- his red flag is that he enjoys fighting stormterror during the quest and smiles during spiral abyss and spends primogems on the standard banner

- loves doing quests like world quests too and commissions to him is so fun because he likes helping people

ricky

- another natural at the game ricky is just good at everything he does

- al haitham main he says it’s because he’s young and rich, tall and handsome, just like him and has eula on his team probably

- plays with a straight face like no look of anger or frustration is on his face at all while his hands are swiftly moving across the screen like a pro

- logs onto your account occasionally to buy you genesis crystals and you who’s playing on another device is like wth and then you message ricky angrily for wasting money on a game

gyuvin

- bro played genshin since launch like he’s a veteran most probably plays even better than you (he’s ar 60) and imagine the way his face lights up when he finds out you also play genshin

- he is so childe/itto main coded, don’t tell me this man isn’t real life itto and likes to throw ushi for fun

- jokingly makes fun of you for being bad at the game then steals your phone to help you and forces you to buy him food as a thank you

- would go to your world just to steal stuff and annoy you, trolls you in your own world and would push you off cliffs with jean

gunwook

- another one that only plays bc u play

- he’s good at everything so he ends up being good at genshin too, he’d easily surpass you in adventure rank

- i thought long and hard about this but ayato main idk why either really and kazuha is also a strong contender. loves exploring areas with kazuha and using his skill

- whenever he sees that you’re playing, he would immediately flock over to your side and asks to join your world. would help you defeat whatever bosses you want him to and help you farm. would go around finding chests for you

yujin

- i think yujin would also be good at genshin but not as good as the others like maybe 40 something ar while the others are at 50 something

- he’s baby so klee main but this evil boy loves blowing things up and killing random animals. torturing hillichurls is his favourite pastime

- would randomly request to join your world sometimes but when you’re busy and reject him, he would spam you with numerous messages and the ‘:(((‘ emoticon along with the genshin sticker things

- the type to completely ignore world quests and absolutely hates doing his dailies

#— trsrina’s works 📰 #— trsrina’s zb1 works #zb1 #zb1 x reader #zb1 scenarios #zb1 reactions #zb1 imagines #zb1 drabbles #zb1 headcanons #zb1 fluff #zb1 jiwoong #zb1 zhang hao #zb1 hanbin #zb1 matthew #zb1 taerae #zb1 ricky #zb1 gyuvin #zb1 gunwook #zb1 yujin #zerobaseone #zerobaseone imagines #zerobaseone reactions #zerobaseone scenarios #zerobaseone x reader #zerobaseone fluff #zerobaseone fics #zb1 fics

[cephalopod-celabrator]

Which major Greek gods I think you least want to get on the bad side of:

They will be rated on a scale of 1 to 10 based on how easily provoked they are, how effective they are at getting revenge, and how likely they are to take your loved ones as casualties. 0 means you're fine, 10 means that you are in fact fucked

Zeus: 8/10 Now Zeus is one of the most easily provoked, because in order for him to endanger your life all you need to do is be attractive or be near someone attractive. If he dislikes you he'll kill you and if he likes you his wife will kill you. Neither of them are known for being precise with their wrath, so you're family, especially any child had with Zeus, are going to be in for it too. The only reason he's not higher is because he might, might, protect you from Hera and he doesn't really have the attention span or precision to make sure that he finishes the job if he tries to kill you Poseidon: 8/10 The lord of the ocean is lest lustful than his lil bro, a low bar, but he's still pretty easy to provoke. He's also not very good at making sure the job gets done, but he is probably the most indiscriminate with his wrath. He'll endanger your friends, your family, everyone near you, and/or your city if he feels like it. Hades: 5/10 Now Hades is pretty hard to piss off, all things considered. Don't go out of your way to defy him, his wife, or the natural order of death and you'll be fine. The only reason he's not at like a 2 is because if you do cross him or his wife Persephone, you are so spectacularly fucked. He might not do anything to you in life but once you shuffle off that mortal coil oh boy. Enjoy being physically and psychologically tortured for literal eternity. Hestia: 0/10 Okay, you have to try like crazy hard to piss of Hestia. It takes monumental stupidity and even if you do, probably the worse she'll do is refuse to ever bless you again. But you should still be ashamed of yourself. Hera: 6.5/10 She has more self-control than her husband and if you're careful you can avoid breaking any of her rules, but if you catch his eye then I'm sorry. Your family will likely be in danger if you draw her ire, and you don't have great chances of survival but it's not impossible. Demeter: 5/10 As far as gods go she's one of the more laid back ones, except when it comes to her daughter. I mean, mess with her nymphs or what have you and your ass is dead, but you'd have to be pretty stupid to draw her attention. The only reason she's not lower is that she causes starvation and hypothermia through the winter she brings each year, but there's not much you can do about that. Athena: 6.5/10 It depends on the interpretation of her but she usually won't smite people unless they directly challenge her or whatnot, but she's still got a bit of a temper on her. And it should be self-explanatory as to why making an enemy of the goddess of strategy and war is not a good idea Hermes: 2/10 I honestly can't think of any myths about the wrath of Hermes, but he still seems like a guy who can be dangerous if you end up on the wrong side of him Ares: 5/10 You'd think the god of carnage and war would be higher, but you're main concern with him is if you end up on the battlefield with him or if you directly aggress against him or those close to him. Dionysus: 6/10 I'd say he falls about middle of the road when it comes to the touchiness of gods, but I really wouldn't recommend pissing off the god of madness. I was going to give him a lower score then remembered the herd of murderous maniac women who follow him, so. Aphrodite: 8/10 Aphrodite is probably the easiest god to piss off because she will take anything as an insult and might randomly decide that you need to die so your partner can get with someone else or something. She's sloppy about her work too, which both means that you have relatively good chances of escaping her wrath and that everyone around you is likely to get caught up in it Hephaestus: 2/10 I mean, he mostly targets his anger at other gods who have wronged him, but I could see a mortal ending up as collateral of some scheme of his. Mostly the dude wants to be left alone

Apollo: 10/10 Yeah, this dude has one of the highest bodycounts of any Olympian, both in terms of murders and hook-ups. And quite a few combinations of both. He's almost hornier than Zeus and less likely to discrimenate between men and women, but his lovers have a slightly higher survival rate. He's pretty easy to piss off and when you do get on his bad side, you're unlikely to find a proportionate response. He will unleash plague, disaster, and/or a rain of arrows on anyone who he doesn't like the vibe of. Artemis: 9.5/10 Now you could argue that Apollo and her should switch ratings, but I think the twins are probably the deadliest gods out there. Artemis is also quite easy to piss off and if you don't give the proper offerings or disrespect her, she will show you that the bow isn't decorative or maybe send wild animals to rip you apart. You'll be lucky if she stops at you though, because your kids or really anyone in the same country as you are a potential casualty. I would say out of all the gods, Artemis is the least likely to fail to kill someone she's decided needs to be six feet under. She doesn't miss. And if you hit on her, you've basically just signed your own death warrant.

#mythology #greek mythology #artemis #apollo #aphrodite #hades #zeus #poseidon #hera #demeter #hestia #hephaestus #ares #dionysus #hermes #athena

[shadlad24]

Episodic Ficlet #20: Hint

Hey, all. I’m still a bit out of sorts but trying my best. Coming in at 675 words, here is the ficlet for “Ties That Bind”: 

“Well; I owe you one…”

#

“Come on! Loosen up, Gabrielle!” Xena laughed drunkenly. “Tonight’s about letting loose and having fun!”

Grimacing as she swallowed her ale, the girl shook her head. “Well, I’m not having fun…” 

“Aw, you’re too uptight. Just live a little!”

“Ha! I can’t believe that you of all people are saying that! To me, of all people!”

Xena harrumphed. Then she took her friend’s mug, clunking it onto the table and pulling Gabrielle up from the bench. “Come on,” she mumbled.

The blonde’s breath caught in her chest when, in lieu of leading her away from the bar, or, at least, letting go of her as they lost themselves in the crush of people around them, Xena’s hands slid down from her shoulders to grasp her hips.

One released the girl only to wrap around her waist to pull her flush against her hero. A bronze breastplate imprinted its design into Gabrielle’s back as the pair swayed to the music. Hot breath tickled the bard’s neck and sent shivers up and down her spine. “You are so beautiful, Gabrielle. So radiant. …Sometimes, I’m not sure that you’re real.”

The air sticking in the girl’s throat gained the company of a lump, and tears sprung up behind green-blue eyes. Every muscle under fair skin pulled taut. “You don’t meant that, Xena. It’s the wine talking.”

“No, I do mean it! You’re special. You’re so special, Gabrielle…”

The bard fled the crowded tavern.

#

Xena froze upon finding Gabrielle speaking to Argo and petting her mane. Her heart shattered at the same time as her friend’s facade did, the girl throwing her arms around the mare’s neck and sobbing into it. Uneven fingernails dug into sword-calloused palms as the woman took a deep breath. “Hey… Gabrielle, I’m sorry.” The warrior princess gasped and swiped at the tear that had actually made it past the net of her eyelashes. “But I told you I’m no good for you! I-”

Gabrielle released the horse to whirl around and then flung herself at the brunette.

“What- What are you-”

“I hate Ares,” the girl hissed fiercely. “I hate him! And I’ve never hated anyone before!”

Xena chuckled shakily. “Well, this is not what I was expecting.”

“He ruins everything! Why can’t he just leave you alone? He-”

She sighed, finally, slowly—loosely—hugging Gabrielle back. “He’s not used to not getting his way. Obviously, he doesn’t know how to deal with that.”

Her friend’s death grip tightened. “Well, he’d better get used to it! He can’t have you! You’re m- d-different now! Gods, learn to take a hint!”

“And what hint would that be?”

Before Xena could push Gabrielle behind herself, the girl spun around once more. The warrior gaped when her companion shoved the appearing figure away as hard as she could. 

In an instant, Gabrielle was whacking every bit of Ares she could reach with her new staff. “She doesn’t want you! Back off, Ares. I mean it!”

The god of war tossed back his head to guffaw. His hands flew up in mock surrender a minute later. “Oh; oh, no! A gnat is hitting me, and it really, really tickles!” He tried to flick the girl away but could not. “What the-”

His sister teleported to his side. “Can’t touch my chosen, Ares,” she said in a chuckle.

Gabrielle squeaked. “Artemis!”

The goddess smiled. “Hello, princess.”

“Sis!”

“Let it go, bro. You lost. Leave them be.”

“You-” Ares turned back to his adversary. “You are monumentally annoying!” Then he smirked. “Whatever. See you around, babe,” he said in a blown kiss at Xena before disappearing.

“Ooh!”

Artemis interrupted Gabrielle’s pique of temper. “Be careful, princess. I won’t always be able to protect you from him.”

The future leader of her Amazons grunted. “Fine. But he’d better-”

“You’re beautiful when you’re angry,” Xena blurted, still a bit gobsmacked.

The goddess of the hunt tutted her tongue. “Right,” she said after a moment, returning unnoticed to Mount Olympus as the two mortals mutely stared into each other’s souls.

.

Meh. I still think this one is weird. Too out-of-character maybe? Too subtle like last time? If you’re a bit thrown by GXe here, then please know that to my sensibilities, Ares’s tactics screw with Xena a lot more than she lets on; and, being early in the show, she’d more easily fall into old habits. Meanwhile, poor Gabrielle wants Xena’s attraction to her to be something real, and it is, but she also knew that Xena was just looking for a shallow distraction from her sorrows back in the tavern.

#xwp #xena #xena warrior princess #xena and gabrielle #gabrielle #xena fanfiction #xenafic #drabbles #ficlets #ares

[mythologyfolklore]

Marpessa isn’t into gods (and Ares makes a speech about love)

(My take on the myth where Marpessa rejects Apollon out of worry, that he would abandon her in old age)

.

Apollon was arguing with a mortal man over the probably most gorgeous girl he had ever seen.

Who did that boy think he was anyway? Daring to compete with him for a girl's hand! Him, the god of light, music, medicine, prophecy and so much more! This puny mortal man couldn't compare with him to save his life and he had the gall to point an arrow at his face!

“Lower your bow”, he ordered. “Cease this nonsense. You're insane to attempt to go against a god.”

“I don't care, if it's crazy!”, Idas spat. “I will stop you from taking away my bride, no matter what!”

“Cute”, Apollon commented, “But there is nothing you can offer her, that I don't have as well.”

“Sure is!”, Idas spat. “How about true love and a faithful and caring husband?”

The god gasped at the insolence: “Are you saying that I'm a liar and a player?!”

“No, I'm saying that you're an arrogant prick, who only wants her for her beauty!”

By now Apollon was too angry to just point out, that Idas was being hypocritical, since Marpessa's beauty had been the reason why he had abducted her in the first place.

With a face like thunder he pulled out the sword that was hidden beneath his chiton (and no, that was not a euphemism, that was an actual sword). “That's it! You must be hubristic or suicidal – or both! Either way, enough of the useless talk. Let's duke it out. Single combat, for the sake of fairness I won't be using any of my divine abilities.”

Idas nodded grimly. “So be it then.”

Then the god and the mortal engaged in mortal combat, while poor Marpessa just stood at the side, not knowing what to do.

This lasted for several hours and it was getting nowhere.

But then, all of the sudden a voice boomed: “EVERYBODY SETTLE DOWN!”

And in a flash of lightning, Zeus and Ares were standing between the contestants, driving them apart.

“Cease this pointless fighting right now!”, Zeus ordered. “This is getting ridiculous and the noise can be heard all the way up to Olympos.”

“Yep”, Ares nodded. “At first I thought it was funny, but then I looked down and saw, that you're fightin' over my granddaughter like she's some kinda prize.”

Ares' granddaughter, huh? Well, that explained why the oaf of a war god was here.

“So”, Zeus said, “why don't we just ask the lady herself? Has that occurred to you?”

Apollon felt just a little awkward, because in his case the answer was no.

Idas cleared his throat, making the three gods glare at him.

“In all respect”, he coughed, “Marpessa agreed to elope with me, because we're in love with each other and-”

“Did she?”, Ares questioned coolly. “Certainly didn't look or sound like that to me earlier-”

“No, no”, Marpessa finally spoke up, “He really didn't abduct me. I was just fearful, because the chariot was so fast. The speed was scary.”

“Huh. Sorry, my bad”, Ares apologised. “But her father (my son) just drowned himself in a river in despair, when you made off with his only child, so do forgive me, if I'm not the most reasonable.”

“My father is dead …?”

Zeus clapped his hands to get everybody's attention. “No time for this. Let's get it over with. Everybody be silent, except for Marpessa. This young lady here will choose who she wants to be with and the loser has to accept her decision. Is that clear?”

The two contestants nodded and Zeus turned to his great-granddaughter: “Well then, child. Make your choice.”

Marpessa looked back and forth between the god and the Argonaut.

For a few minutes, she considered.

Eventually she addressed Apollon (he could hear her heart racing in her chest): “Phoibos Apollon, Life-Giver and Lord of the Oracle …”

“Just Apollon will do”, he told her gently and tried not to look too nervous.

She swallowed and went on: “Please forgive me, but I choose Idas.”

The god of light felt all colour drain from his face, while Idas cheered in triumph and danced around joyfully, like young men in love had the tendency to do.

Great. Now that bold son of Poseidon got to be all smug and happy, while-

Oh, what was that? Ah, that was Apollon's heart being shattered into a thousand pieces! Again.

“Wh-what?! Wh-why?!”, he choked. “What does he have that I don't?!”

“Mortality”, she answered.

“What?!”

“Let me explain”, the young woman pleaded. “You're without a doubt the most handsome man I have ever seen – no offense, o King of the Gods …”

“None taken”, Zeus laughed in good humour.

“… I know what I would gain with you, Apollon”, Marpessa continued. “You're the god of many wonderful and terrible things and abundant in talents and virtues like no other. You could give me everything: adventure, excitement, and so on. But you're ageless and immortal. I'm not. I will age and die. You love me now, because I'm young and beautiful, but how will it be then? Will you still call me the most beautiful woman you have ever seen, when my face is covered in wrinkles and kiss the top of my hair, that by then will have gone grey? Will you be there, when I die? Will you cry, when I'm gone? Will you remember me fondly, because I delighted you in my youth?”

The god of music was speechless.

The question had hit him right in the gut. He hadn't thought about that – never had, because it had never been necessary. His lovers usually either broke up with him after a while, or they died young. Or he didn't get lucky in the first place, like now.

“Your silence says it all”, Marpessa sighed. “You wouldn't – perhaps even couldn't – stay with me for the rest of my life. But Idas would. He truly loves me. We will grow old together and, for all of his adventures, he will never abandon me.”

The Argonaut hugged her from behind and she turned her head to smile at him.

No, there was no chance he could convince her to change her mind, Apollon realised.

Suddenly there were sniffles behind him and to everyone's surprise, Ares was wiping his eyes.

“That was one of the most beautiful speeches I have ever heard!”, he sobbed. “I just can't even! Anyway, well chosen, my granddaughter. You two have my blessing. Off ya go!”

She beamed at the war god and let Idas help her back onto his chariot.

And off they went.

Zeus gently pat Apollon's shoulder in an attempt to comfort him. “Better luck next time, my son”, he said. Then he vanished in a flash of lightning, leaving Apollon with Ares of all gods.

“Won't you leave too?”, the god of prophecy asked.

Ares shook his head. “Ya don't wanna be alone as much as ya think ya do.”

“Ares, please.”

“M-mh. What she said back there really got to ya, didn't it?”

The blond god groaned in distress. “She really thinks I'm so shallow as to abandon her at the very first wrinkle.”

“Well, is she wrong?”

Apollon stared at the black-and-red-haired god. “Excuse me?!”

“Has anyone ever asked that of ya before?”

“Well, no, but-”

“Would you have stayed with her?”, Ares queried sternly. “I'm her grandfather, so I wanna know. Would you stay with her until she dies? Would you make the effort of weathering the storms of life with her, for better and for worse? Would you be to her what every person, mortal or divine, needs: a constant in her life, who's always there? Would you give her the loyalty every woman wishes for? Could you handle the pain of seeing the woman you fell for grow old and frail, while you stay forever young? Could you still love the face that belonged to the once most beautiful girl in all of Hellas, when it's full of wrinkles? Would you still find her beautiful? Would you wax your pretty poetry and tell her cheesy shit to cheer her up, when she gets nostalgic? Would you take care of her, when she can no longer take care of herself? Would you hold her hand, when she lies on her death bed, tell her how much you love her and give her one last kiss, before she descends to Hades?”

“I … I …”

Ares cupped Apollon's chin and forced the younger god to look him in the eyes.

“You're not that kinda guy, Apollon”, he stated with uncharacteristic gentleness. “Ya give your affection so easily, but it fades so quickly. And even if not, you leave your lovers with pretty gifts and abilities and then watch them from afar. But that's not what they need. What humans need is commitment. What Marpessa an' I just listed up? That's commitment. That's real love. And it takes a kind of courage most gods don't have or are unwilling to muster, 'cuz lovin' a mortal is painful. You an' I know that all too well, don't we?”

By now Apollon was trying really hard not to cry in front of the savage god of terrible war. But damn, Ares had a forsooth impeccable talent of hitting people, where it hurt the most. It was rivalled only by Aphrodite and their arsehole son Eros (like parents like son, Apollon supposed).

Ares sighed and hugged his younger half-brother.

“I hate you!”, Apollon choked. “And your oldest son too! What have I done to you for you to always hurt me like this?!”

“I know, I know”, Ares muttered. “Promise, I didn't do it on purpose this time, though. I just wanted ya to understand.”

“…”

“It's okay to cry, by the way. I may not be the best shoulder to cry on, but I won't judge. Let it out. It'll do ya no good to bottle it all up.”

Screw it.

The god of light collapsed in his older half-brother's arms and began to bawl relentlessly into the other's shoulder.

“Shhh”, the other murmured, while soothingly rubbing Apollon's back and holding him tightly.

They stayed like that for a while, before Ares backed off to look at the other.

“Man, they're really screwin' you over, huh?”, he asked sympathetically. “C'mon, lil' brother. Let's go home. Hestia gave me lots of cookies, but I don't like sweets, so you can have them as comfort food. Take a break from love and while you're at that, think of what I said, hm?”

Apollon just sniffled and let the older god transport them both back to Olympos.

#Greek Mythology #apollon #idas #marpessa #zeus #ares #apollon needs a hug #ares is sympathetic #ares tries really hard to be a good bro #he's not really that good at it #zeus has the biggest braincell in this situation

[akitohsworld]

Disclaimer: I wrote this some time ago, when I was very sleepy. How they could've met before the exchange? I love stupid references don't@ me lol

Warning: slight NSFW at the end (under the cut)

Put a spell on me |Solomon X m!Reader

Saying Solomon was feeling under the weather was an understatement. He felt like absolute shit. His stomach was recoiling, giving him the impression he had to vomit, but couldn't. Resulting in him being wobbly on his feet. Although, he was currently trying to sober up. The lack of water caused his head to hurt, while he walked alongside the river to go back to his apartment. He was in no shape to teleport, not with the sense of orientation he had right now.

A frustrated groan escaped him as he grabbed onto the metal fence beside the river, letting gravity take over as he slouched down onto the floor.

It was a beautiful night, you could see the starry sky reflecting in the river. The silence only being disturbed by some outlandish music in the distance. Somewhere, there was another party raving besides the witches sabbath he had successfully escaped.

He knew he shouldn't have accepted that many drinks from the witches. But it had been a successful year, he was only going back to the Devildom next week... And, probably, going to meet that other exchange student by then.

"Hey fam, you okay?" A voice slurred above him, blocking the blinding streetlights before him.

"Yeah yeah, thank you for your concern-," Solomon looked up surprised. He thought he was the only one here-

"Here ," a handsome guy, probably not a sorcerer, held out a bottle of water to him, grinning friendly. "You gotta stay hydrated when drunk."

"Uhm.. thanks?" Solomon chuckled. "That's nice, but I hear I shouldn't accept drinks from kind strangers"

Their hair reflected in the warm light, along with unfocused eyes glistening in the dark, when he shot Solomon a kind smile.

Solomon suspected he was from where the music was coming from. Another rave or party or whatever, since he was wearing flashy attire and sweat was glistening on his smooth skin.

From dancing, maybe? It wasn't that warm. Rather fresh, if Solomon would say so himself.

"Hmmm", the stranger put a hand on his chin. "I guess, I'm feelin' a biiiiit brave tonight haha. Here, I'll take a sip from it first."

He chucked down a bit of water. "There."

Solomon just stared at him for a solid second. Maybe, probably, surely, this was the alcohol. But this stranger had something alluring about him. His glistening lips from the water made Solomon unable to do anything else but stare.

"You going to take it, or not?"

"Ah yes", Solomon grabbed the bottle and took a sip before putting it back down again.

"May I sit with you?" He put a hand on his neck and averted his gaze. "I- uhm came here to get away from all the noise for a bit- I don't wanna be creepy or anything-"

"Oh- Yes of course! Don't worry about it"

The grin returned to his face as he slouched down beside him. "Thank you."

Solomon took another chug of water. He didn't really have anywhere to be, nor did he have the strength to go home anyways. So he figured he might as well sober up, while making some new memories.

"Out of curiosity.. what do you mean by brave?" Solomon smirked at him.

"Well...", the stranger just smiled, a slight tint of colour dusting his cheeks. "You're pretty handsome. And I normally can't ask out guys for the heck of it.. so yeah. I'd say I'm being stupidly brave by talking to someone as hot as you."

The sorcerer laughed. "How very direct"

"Must be the alcohol", he chuckled. "I don't know anyone around here.. and I have a habit of drinking too much when I'm at social gatherings without friends.. What about you? Why are you here all alone?.. If it's okay to ask, at least."

"Ah it's okay~ I'm trying to sober up from drinking too", Solomon sighed. "It was an exhausting night.."

The stranger nodded sighing. "Tell me about it."

"So.. what are you celebrating?"

And so, they proceeded to talk about the reasons why they were here. Their conversation slowly but surely going of its original rails, from politics to religion to light-hearted shows and childhood memories.

Solomon, of course, didn't go into much detail about magic nor anything like that. They were simply trailing off into more and more different topics, running their tongues because of the alcohol.

"Wait, people avoid you when you invite them?" He asked in shock, "Even after you offer to cook for them?! Woah, that's rude after everything you've done..."

Solomon hung his head in disappointment. "I really don't know what the issue is, you know? It's not like they outright avoid me when we nee- want to hang out, but everytime I offer my hospitality they just.. you know?"

"Shiiiit bro... ," he thought for a bit, then joked, "Maybe your cooking sucks?"

Solomon sighed dramatically, proceeding to pout. "Can't blame the tasteless."

"Just kidding kidding!!" he smiled sympathetically, "Maybe it's best if you ask them directly about it. Honesty is always key, no matter where you're from."

Solomon remembered something.

"So, I'm guessing you're not from around here?"

The stranger looked him up and down, seeming to think for a bit and then smirking back at him.

"You tell me, wizard boy. Am I?"

"Oh? How do you know?"

"Know what?"

"That I'm", Solomon gesticulated dramatically, "a wizard."

He became serious and leaned closer to Solomon, putting a hand on his shoulder. Solomon's breath hitched ever so slightly as the stranger's intense gaze held him entranced.

"You're a wizard, Harry."

"Huh?"

The stranger wheezed at his reference, as Solomon finally understood and erupted into laughter himself.

He stopped himself to respond seriously:

"..A wizard?"

"Don't you feel it ," the stranger put their hand over Solomon's heart, making his heart pound a bit harder, which surprised him, "...,Mister Krabs?"

"Huh- What?-"

After a perplexed pause they looked at each other and wheezed and cackled in the cursed manner your friends laugh when someone tells a ridiculous, dumb joke.

As they sat there, next to a river enveloped by the light of street lamps in a park, their laughter erupted through the silent night. Nothing but very faint music could be heard in the distance. Solomon didn't even know why he was laughing so hard. It was a stupid reference. And this stranger was clearly out of it.

There was something about him... Solomon just couldn't put his finger to it.

"S-so haha you're a man of culture as well~", Solomon calmed down, "What's your name?"

" Of course~ (y/N)." The stranger responded smiling, wiping away a tear. "Yours?"

"Solomon.", he answered reciprocating the smile.

"Solomon the wise?"

"Yes." He shot him a knowing glance. "So you do know me~"

"Oh yes~" (y/N)'s fingers slid over Solomon's coat. "You dress like a wizard, you look like a wizard aaaaand your named after King Solomon the wise. Great literature surrounds you: like Ars Goëtia and the lesser keys of, well, you", their gaze turned to look into the sorcerer's grey eyes.

With that, Solomon understood.

This person didn't know him . He knew of his tales, the legends, basically fairy tales.

He was like most humans... Unaware of the magical world he lived in. The realisation stung a bit, but the sorcerer decided to play along anyways as he felt himself sobering up.

"Well, I can't disappoint a fan like yourself now, can I?" Solomon smirked.

"Ohh~ So are you going to show me any tricks?" (y/N) laughed, standing up challengingly. "Come at me with your best shot, wizard boy~"

Solomon didn't know why, but he felt the urge to impress the young man.

"Hmm", he stood up, although a bit wobbly. "Alright. But I'll need an assistant~"

"Oh my oh myyy" (y/N) excitedly clapped their hands together. "I'll sacrifice myself for the greater good then."

Solomon chuckled, shooting him a provocative glance through his lashes at which he thought he saw (y/N) blushing.

"So, (y/N), are you ready?"

"I'm was born ready"

Solomon offered him his hand. "Take my hand, my cute assistant~"

"Oh my, and he has a way with words", (y/N) overdramatically took his hand, "The ladies will die if you do that, you know?"

"Oh will they now?", Solomon pulled him towards himself, "What effect do you think Hecate's power will have on you?"

"I like your funny words, magic man", (y/N) smirked playfully. "Tell me more~"

Solomon scoffed. This guy is a walking reference book.

"Have you ever danced with a sorcerer in the pale moonlight?", he asked, putting another hand on (y/N)'s waist, said man's breath hitching.

"W-well, I'm pretty sure the proverb goes different, Solomon", he put a hand on his counterpart's shoulder as he let Solomon take the lead, "I thought you were going to show me a trick though~"

"Patience is a virtue", he simply said teasingly.

"-and a pain", (y/N) retorted, while taking the first step back.

"So you know how to waltz?", Solomon began to lead.

"School taught me many things", he imitated a rough old man voice, "You youngsters would never understand"

Solomon tried to contain his need to laugh.

"Aha~ Funny, enlighten me?"

"Well, I don't know what they teach in wizard boy-school", they turned, " But back in my day, they tried to teach me calculus"

Solomon quirked a brow. "Tried?" Then he spun (y/N) around.

"Well, I was busy drawing into my notes", his cold hand slipped to Solomon's neck, making the sorcerer tense up.

"And what kind of Mona Lisa-worth drawings were you working on? I bet only of the highest quality~", sarcasm dripped from his voice as he shot (y/N) a teasing smile.

"Oh you can't even imagine~", (y/N) rolled his eyes in an exaggerated manner before shooting him a deadpan look, "Penises mostly"

A laugh escaped Solomon. "How refined"

"I am nothing but refined, sir~"

Solomon spun him around again, matching no pace in particular, as he pulled him closer to his chest this time. A small gasp left (y/N)'s mouth.

"H-hey now, be careful there. Or do you want me to fall?"

Solomon's lips pursed up in amusement, but quickly froze as he looked into the man's face.

(y/N)'s expression was contorted in utter joy, like he couldn't contain their grin. He looked stupidly adorable...

Solomon felt his heart clench at the sight. But he quickly snapped out of it as he shot (y/N) another charming smile.

"So, about 'the ladies dying' at my charm.."

"You're still on about that?" (y/N) chuckled amused, "Give it a rest wizard boy. We get it, you're handsome-"

"What about you?" his cheeks burned as he felt himself getting... Nervous? That's new.

Solomon hoped the darkness wouldn't give him away, "How do you feel about my 'charm'?"

For a second everything stood still and they both came to a stop. Their eyes locked and silence engulfed them. Tension began to claw at both man's braveness, as realisation struck them. This encounter had progressively turned into something more. Not some random thing.

It felt like..

(y/N) averted his gaze, face flushing a bright red as he chuckled nervously. "It... It takes a bit more for me to die, Sol.."

Fate.

"Is that so?", Solomon's fingers interlaced with his as he slowly inched closer.

"I mean.. you could find out..." (y/N)'s eyes slowly closed when-

Strings of colourful magic sparked around them.

"Huh?!" His eyes shot wide open, grip tightening on Solomon's hands, "What-"

(y/N) looked around stunned and extremely surprised.

"So? How was that for a 'magic trick'?"

(y/N)'s gaze returned to face him. "Y-you.. How?"

The sorcerer just hummed. "Who knows?"

"This... Must be a dream then..", he sighed disappointed, a tinge of sadness in his voice, "That's a bummer.. I really like you."

Now it was Solomon's turn to blush.

"I- I understand the confusion, but- mph?!"

With that his lips pressed onto Solomon's.

The sorcerer froze, while (y/N)'s mouth opened a little, slipping his tongue through Solomon's mouth. He tasted like sweet liquor, further entrancing the sorcerer in a passionate kiss.

Solomon got over his shock quickly as his hands found the other's waist, pulling him towards himself. When (y/N) sighed into the kiss, hands burying into his white locks, excitement shot through his spine.

Solomon pressed him against a nearby tree. He grew hot as (y/N)'s soft, wet lips brushed against his, the passion growing with each passing second.

"Mnh hah", (y/N) parted for a second, a string of saliva connecting them, lips barely brushing against his, "This.. feels too real though.."

"Because it is- ", Solomon panted against his mouth, connecting their lips again with more of his own vigor this time. His tongue eagerly brushing over the other's.

God, what was he doing?

What was he doing??

But fuck it felt so good.

He couldn't resist the desire to touch (y/N) more and more. He wanted him closer and it showed.

As if on cue, (y/N)'s hand slid over Solomon's pants, suddenly palming his half hard erection and making him moan into the other's mouth longingly.

"Mnn- (y/N) wait.."

"Mnh? Oh sorry-!", he stopped abruptly.

"N-no I mean... Let's.. let's go to my place-"

"Oh~" (y/N) smiled and kissed him again, teeth pulling at his bottom lip as he parted panting.

"Alright then. Show me the way, wizard-boy~"

#obey me #fluff #solomon #solomon x reader #m!mc #m!reader #smut

[reluctanx]

𝘽𝙉𝙃𝘼 𝙃𝙀𝘼𝘿𝘾𝘼𝙉𝙊𝙉 >> CLASS 1-B. || Fem!s/o

𝘾𝙃𝘼𝙍𝘼𝘾𝙏𝙀𝙍𝙎 𝙄𝙉𝘾𝙇𝙐𝘿𝙀𝘿: neito monoma, itsuka kendo, sen kaibara, ibara shiozaki, tetsutetsu tetsutetsu, reiko yanagi, setsuna tokage

𝙒𝘼𝙍𝙉𝙄𝙉𝙂 (𝙎) : n/a [?]

-Neito Monoma

!! 🧺 | he’s actually very sweet, just a bit playful with you

!! 🧺 | he cracks joke just to make you laugh because your smile means EVERYTHING to him

!! 🧺 | i’m pretty sure he’s a nerd at color theory and would ALWAYS point out how beautiful your eyes are. even if it has a darker shade, he just knows that it’s a beautiful color that he loves so much

!! 🧺 | he doesn’t let other people touch his bunnies besides kendo, you may also be the exception

!! 🧺 | overly dramatic because he knows you can’t possibly, truly handle his bullshit

!! 🧺 | his teenager crush on you is so adorable, because he’s always in denial. or refuses to admit he have a crush on you

!! 🧺 | seeing that you’re not comparing him to a villain because of his quirk, wether it’s a joke or not. you automatically gain a part of his trust and respect. deadass

!! 🧺 | he bullies people for a reason, and you better deal with that

!! 🧺 | very argumentative, trying to fight with him with controversial topics is useless

!! 🧺 | LET. HIM. TOUCH. YO. HAIR………. pls

!! 🧺 | even if he tries, he can’t keep up late at night. HE WILL fall asleep, so sometimes you’ll be left on read accidentally-

!! 🧺 | when texting… he’s a total different person omg

!! 🧺 | no because if your seat is next to his, he will pass you the answers for the math exam.. (don’t lie, i know you’re a total dogshit at this subject. )

!! 🧺 | he’s a real big fan of Vlad king so you better be prepared seeing some of his merch in his closet

!! 🧺 | seeing you in his clothes makes him feel weird. he’ll try to make fun of you but he’s just really flustered to look at cha’ i swear

!! 🧺 | it’s rare to see him swear, so when he do so.. dear god..

!! 🧺 | HE DOESN’T GIVE A FUCK ABOUT YOUR BODY SHAPE, SIZE OR WHATEVER, HE LOVES YOU THE WAY YOU ARE AND HE WILL REMIND YOU THAT

!! 🧺 | “you love me o’ sooo much it makes you look stupid.”

!! 🧺 | “don’t tell kendo about this, but i like you. for real.”

!! 🧺 | pronouns first with this man, pronouns = priority, pronouns respected. period.

!! 🧺 | he would be such a simp for you..

!! 🧺 | not obsessive or possesive, per se just jealous in a healthy way

!! 🧺 | “i’m literally a low quality version of bakugo.”

!! 🧺 | THEATRICAL, AS FUCK.

-Itsuka Kendo

!! 🧸 | SHE’S LITERALLY A SWEET HEART *SOBS SOBS*

!! 🧸 | she acts like your big sister sometimes.

!! 🧸 | she’s so shy and intimidated when she gets to date you bro..

!! 🧸 | your hero name? your hero costume? gives no shit, she find everything about you AMAZING.

!! 🧸 | you’re the little spoon, don’t prove me wrong, you’re the little spoon

!! 🧸 | she finds you so cute (especially if you have chubby cheeks, cause like uuuUhhh…)

!! 🧸 | she dresses you up when ya’ll get a girl days

!! 🧸 | she doesn’t know how to cook, depending on your cooking skills; either you get to cook or ya’ll order sum shit idk

!! 🧸 | she have a whole romantic cottagecore playlist dedicated for you whenever she thinks about you i swear.

!! 🧸 | you participates in her activity of : “knocking-down-neito-whenever-hes-been-an-ass”

!! 🧸 | can’t even afford to scold you the first time ya’ll meet, you’re so beautiful *sob sob*

!! 🧸 | if you’re in a social group space, you’re her favourite person, ya’ll are the duo of the friend group

!! 🧸 | “can’t sleep? that’s okay me too.”

!! 🧸 | picky, very picky eater. ya’ll may have trouble ordering something.

!! 🧸 | you’re the ticklish person, she’s the tickler. if you’re not, she’ll helplessly try to tickle you..-

!! 🧸 | “SPIDER, SPIDER!!”

!! 🧸 | your luck booster, i stg

!! 🧸 | she likes seeing you with fake cat ears, you look so adorable in her perspective

!! 🧸 | “LET’S WATCH A DISNEY MOVIE!!”

!! 🧸 | fast typer when texting.

!! 🧸 | you’re her angel, you are.

!! 🧸 | wants to be a make-up artist somedays.. so you better be ready and prepare to be a mannequin.

!! 🧸 | “you’re so weird *faces you* you’re so weird.”

!! 🧸 | 256 HOURS LONG OF TALK AND CHATS WHEN SHE ENCOUNTERS A LONG TIME FRIEND AT THE MALL

!! 🧸 | she wants to be a princess, your princess

!! 🧸 | SAY THAT YOU LOVE HER HAIR AND SHE WILL FLUSH

!! 🧸 | “why are you so pretty 🥺’

!! 🧸 | cottagecore lesbians :)

!! 🧸 | holding your hands + kisses + pecks on the lips, physical affection <<<<<<<<

!! 🧸 | gives you her stuffies, trust me she have LOADS of stuffies

!! 🧸 | BLUSHES SO HARD WHEN YOU WEAR HER CLOTHES

Sen Kaibara

!! 📢 | you don’t understand, the amount of love he holds for you is HUGE!

!! 📢 | fairly confident when he’s fighting by your side, you give him confidence..

!! 📢 | bad habits to compare your beauty with his

!! 📢 | trying to make him blush? oh honey, you don’t have to try once you have a relationship with him..

!! 📢 | his smile <<<<<<<<<<<<<

!! 📢 | usually quiet but tends to be talkative ONLY to you

!! 📢 | his heart beats faster and faster when you get close to him, but his face says 😐

!! 📢 | “kiss me already, dummy”

!! 📢 | really likes anime actually, ya’ll watch animes or read mangas sometimes :)

!! 📢 | *strokes strokes, scrubs scrubs your hair gently*

!! 📢 | thinks you look so cute in his clothes but doesn’t mention it

!! 📢 | secretly tries to get one of the things you crave for (an item, celebrity’s autograph idk sum shit)

!! 📢 | mockery against you? not on his watch.

!! 📢 | his love language is physical touch *sobs sobs*

!! 📢 | rubs your hand gently to calm you down when you feel anxious

!! 📢 | old times french love songs of edith piaf is his jam..

!! 📢 | hopeless romantic :c

!! 📢 | insecure? not on his watch,

!! 📢 | gives you his juice box to you and only to you

!! 📢 | you’re his first kiss

!! 📢 | BEST HUG GIVER

!! 📢 | the type to put your hair behind your ears

!! 📢 | “you’re my everything..”

!! 📢 | KISSES YOUR CHEEKS INTENSIVELY

!! 📢 | loves to feel euphoric, you make him euphoric

!! 📢 | you get the blower during summer lmao

!! 📢 | buys you loads of icecreams during summer

!! 📢 | go to the heater side during winter, right now, right here.

!! 📢 | everything you ask somethinh, he’ll answer instantly

!! 📢 | want something? dont worry, sen gotchu’

!! 📢 | SIMP

!! 📢 | wants to be someone truly meaningful to you

!! 📢 | you make him feel special for doing literally nothing

!! 📢 | he loves you, so so much.

Ibara Shiozaki

!! 🌱| literally the momo yaoyorazu of class 1-b but more theatrical

!! 🌱| you kinda just already knew that she have a preference for girls

!! 🌱| “mo- mother nature? what kind of silly things are you spouting out of that mouth of yours…”

!! 🌱| you are literally babied by her

!! 🌱| good baker and easily make your favorite dish/dessert

!! 🌱| you’re her top priority, and she carefully pays attention to you. deadass, she’s the type to wipe your mouth with her favorite tissue while she’s talking about a serious matter with her teamates bro

!! 🌱| she’s such a nerd in the rom-com industry, and gets pretty shy when you proceed to do something that is similar to a scene about one of her few rom-com movies. (ex: kadebon)

!! 🌱| she laughs so easily..

!! 🌱| “you’re so precious.”

!! 🌱| she showed all the symptoms of “crushing” back then, and you already knew that.

!! 🌱| everytime you hype her up, she smiles widely

!! 🌱| she’s so gift giving, she can’t leave you without giving you a gift first

!! 🌱| all the gifts you gave her stays safe and sound in her room

!! 🌱| “i might never be your hero, but i’ll be the winner of your heart.”

!! 🌱| she wants you to wear her clothes so ya’ll can match :)

!! 🌱| she’s quite wealthy, so she buys you some expensive gifts that reminds her of you

!! 🌱| always wrap her arms around you everywhere

!! 🌱| teases you but a lot

!! 🌱| she likes to do gardening stuff with you

!! 🌱| full knowledge on plants, every flowers she offers you was because of a characteristic that reminds her of you

!! 🌱| her efforts to be committed in your relationship is so visible

!! 🌱| always slips a little ‘I love you” everydays

!! 🌱| your love, affection and attention is enough to repay her for her consistent efforts.

!! 🌱| gets easily jealous but tries to hide it, but you obviously can tell due to her uncontrollable blush

!! 🌱| as she is so gift giving, you’ll try to argue with her saying she doesn’t need to give her this much gifts

!! 🌱| she gets overwhelmed when you make out of an exam/mission

!! 🌱| loves to give you a head massage while reading a book

!! 🌱| come and stargaze with her >:|

!! 🌱| kisses the back of your hand

!! 🌱| show you off when she have the chance to

!! 🌱| compared to what you may have assumed, she puts a lot of trust in her words when showin’ you off.

!! 🌱| “everyday and everynight, you make me happy just by thinking of your silly little face.”

!! 🌱| HELPS YOU WITH HOMEWORK

!! 🌱| SLEEPOVERS!!

!! 🌱| she felt insecure about her hair, so the fact that you had he audacity to pet her head made her fall inlove with you.

!! 🌱| gets genuinely confused when you laugh at her dramatic behavior

!! 🌱| her humor is kinda bad, so she may laugh at the stupidest thing ever

Tetsutetsu Tetsutetsu

!! 🦈| oh boy, everything would be so wild with him

!! 🦈| you cannot leave the room without giving him a hug first

!! 🦈| awkward, like really

!! 🦈| “you’re the most coolest— beautifulest—…uuh.. person!”

!! 🦈| doesn’t academically succeed a lot, but puts a lot of efforts in his works. every praises you give him makes him smile

!! 🦈| makes you laugh without him knowing

!! 🦈| please, he probably starts to laugh when you start talking too fast because he doesn’t understand-

!! 🦈| in summer, he turns his arms into steel so you can grip against it (since steel is usually cold)

!! 🦈| probably have adhd

!! 🦈| loves to caress your cheeks

!! 🦈| sometimes kisses your little fingers for fun

!! 🦈| buddies to lover trope :D

!! 🦈| uses kaomoji than emojis

!! 🦈| his favorite song is teenage dirtbag

!! 🦈| he requires a good listener as his s/o, because he is a very talkative person and bring numerous topics and persons at the same time when talking to him

!! 🦈| “you’re extra-beautiful..”

!! 🦈| offers a fish related plushie

!! 🦈| shows off his abs for you

!! 🦈| two dumb hoes doing shit trope

!! 🦈| “you kinda remind me of an otter..?

!! 🦈| “wanna be a teenage dirtbag with me?”

!! 🦈| he calls you the popular girl of the school for a reason.. 😭

!! 🦈| calls you tetsutetsu junior when you wear his clothes

!! 🦈| openly admit that ya’ll are in a relationship to everyone

!! 🦈| is actually ticklish himself-

!! 🦈| loves to kiss your forehead

!! 🦈| loves to point out how cute you are

!! 🦈| definitely introduces you to fatgum and kirishima

!! 🦈| he can’t really came up with a petname.. so he’ll give you stupid ones

!! 🦈| as you can tell, he’s clearly not experienced but he tries, for you :)

!! 🦈| okay but power couple

!! 🦈| “if you steal the blankets, i am about to put my cold feets on you.”

!! 🦈| gets out of hands when he’s too excited

!! 🦈| gives you back hugs when you’re not feeling well

!! 🦈| best caregiver 🥺

!! 🦈| adores you

!! 🦈| play games with you :)

!! 🦈| sends you stupid note under the door whenever you’re taking a shit-

Reiko Yanagi

!! 👻|| you managed to get on her soft side when you told her that she wasn’t weird in any ways

!! 👻|| very quiet and patient with you

!! 👻|| really doesn’t wish to disturb or scare you, but she can’t let go of you — you were so nice

!! 👻|| when you tease her.. she’s a blushing mess

!! 👻|| you’re the only person she hangs most of her time with

!! 👻||she thinks that you’re so, so cool.

!! 👻|| doesn’t know how to react to all of your compliments, just knows how to cuddle

!! 👻|| she makes you listen to her favorite genre of music

!! 👻|| she tries her best to make your relationship with her dynamic as possible!

!! 👻|| with that say, praising is one of her top quality

!! 👻|| as much as she doesn’t know how to handle your praise, she can slap you back with her

!! 👻||”hey.. how abour we kiss? uh- um.. if- if you want to.”

!! 👻|| is actually a good kisser-

!! 👻|| her only way to calm you down was to kiss you when you get overwhelmed

!! 👻|| reiko is a really good listener and would literally listen to your 5 hours long story as she stare at you the whole time

!! 👻|| when you mention that her bags were really cool… good job bro, now she loves you

!! 👻|| SHE’S SO CLINGY, LIKE REALLY CLINGY

!! 👻|| unexpectedly good in video games

!! 👻|| “w-whoa.. i didn’t expected you to wear my clothes..you look adorable..”

!! 👻|| gets truly passionate when talking about paranormal facts

!! 👻|| she loves to play with the strands of your hair

!! 👻|| quality time <<<<<<<<

!! 👻|| would always remind you how beautiful you are

!! 👻|| once you have her sweater wrapped around your body, it’s officially yours now because she says so

!! 👻|| soft spokesperson with you bro..

!! 👻|| seems more confident when texting

!! 👻|| she loves taking pictures of you

!! 👻|| she probably wanted to make you visit the beach during the sunset

!! 👻|| she’s so proud of you..

!! 👻|| “oh, you deserve all of the praises of the world.”

!! 👻|| can’t even look at you in the eyes,, you’re so CUTE!!

!! 👻|| never leave you alone, never will or would

!! 👻|| always grips on your shirt so that you don’t get to be lost in a mission

!! 👻|| regularly checks up on you

!! 👻|| gives you LOADS of snacks during lunch

Setsuna Tokage

!! 🐊| COMMITTED IN THE RELATIONSHIP

!! 🐊| literally takes you out everywhere on ya’ll date

!! 🐊| don’t be shy, skateboard with her

!! 🐊| literally asks to be partnered up with you during the sport festivals

!! 🐊| will do everything for you

!! 🐊| have a reptile pet, you’re the only person knowing about that

!! 🐊| CHERISH YOU UNTIL SHE DIES

!! 🐊| “my sweet sweet pumpkin pie!”

!! 🐊| “let me kiss you until you can’t handle me anymore, darling.”

!! 🐊| she loves snuggling to your neck and leave soft kisses

!! 🐊| eyes contact is important

!! 🐊| you’re her favourite person

!! 🐊| ya’ll be ruining your sleep schedule for each other

!! 🐊| you guys always wear something that matches with the other (a hat, item, shirt.. etc.)

!! 🐊| setsuna announces her relationship with you to the class as if she proposed to you in a mariage

aight ya’ll, bye!

#bnha #bokunomyheroacademia #mha #myheroacademia #my hero academia #boku no my hero academia #class 1b #neitomonoma #neito monoma #reikoyanagi #reiko yanagi #itsukakendou #itsuka kendou #ibarashiozaki #ibara shiozaki #tetsutetsu tetsutetsu #tetsutetsu #headcanons #bnha headcanons #bnha hcs #senkaibara #sen kaibara

[herondalegfsblog]

rereading pjo and the battle of the labyrinth for the millionth time

not annabeth acting like a jealous girlfriend when she sees rachel with percy after there’s been a literal fight with a monster. especially not while she’s pining over luke all the time, and reacts every single time his name is mentioned. please no. percy’s excited that him and annabeth were paired together for a camp activity and all she told him was “your armour is crooked.” stop🤚🏻pls. and annabeth acting like she knows what to do on this quest and getting mad when percy tries to make any decisions when she literally has no idea what to do. nice 👍🏻. ughhh and when they get to the sphinx and instead of just answering the questions so they can get on their way without any trouble, she has to tell the sphinx that those questions “aren’t riddles” so whattt just answer them so you could leave and finish your quest. for someone who’s mom is the goddess of wisdom, that wasn’t wise at all. this isn’t really to do with botl but i just remembered this cuz of calypso: i used to like leo but after leo met calypso and started liking her i didn’t like him anymore cuz he was mad at percy. like bro it’s not percy’s fault that calypso was in love with him, and even tho he didn’t make sure the gods held up their promise of freeing her - it’s enough that he even mentioned her when they were literally offering TO MAKE HIM A GOD. and i mean he was pretty busy after that with the whole disappearing and losing his memory thing so WHAT THE HELL IS LEO MAD ABOUT? and why the hell is annabeth screaming at him now that he’s back “from the dead”. you’re supposed to say “i’m so happy to see you” not “WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN?” and the fact that he always says “she looked like she was about to punch me” is not a good sign at all (like the judo flip reunion oh my lord) it’s abusive. and two seconds after he “came back from the dead” she told him he was the most annoying person she’s ever met and stormed out, just cuz she was mad that she didn’t get to lead the quest herself. her leadership is clearly causing more problems, so if percy has a solution, then listen to it. oh my god she’s annoying. also clarisse annoys me—like i get she’s the daughter of ares—but she has literally no personality, she’s just violent. that’s all. umm rachel just said she had to play dumb with the school and annabeth asked “was it hard?” what the hell? she doesn’t own percy, he can be friends with whoever he wants and she shouldn’t be rude to them. and she keeps using the word “mortal” as an insult. so rude for real. percy told rachel about how luke will kill anyone who gets in his way, so rachel said “nice guy” and annabeth defended luke by saying “he’s under the influence of a titan. he’s been deceived” umm no he’s just evil. so she defends luke like that then gets mad when percy has a friend that’s a girl? it says “tyson told rachel she was pretty which made annabeth’s nostrils flare like she was going to blow fire.” umm. so what if tyson told rachel she was pretty? how is it any of annabeth’s business. what the hell? it was so dope when dionysus came back in the end and helped grover in the cloven elders meeting. i love that percy always stands up for what’s right even if it will get him in trouble. like how hera was telling them the quest was succesful in the end and he said “hephaestus was right. you only care about your perfect family, not real people” even tho that was undoubtedly gonna make her mad. i just realised that rachel’s initials are red, and she’s a redhead

#percy #percy jackson #percy jackon and the olympians #pjo #the battle of the labyrinth #annabeth chase #anti annabeth #anti annabeth chase #clarisse la rue #annabeth chase (derogatory) #percy jackson and the battle of the labyrinth #rick riordan #rachel elizabeth dare

[itgetsdarksometimes35]

Day 3: Chris Beck- Daddy and Creampie

Warnings: Dub con, non con, forced pregnancy, breeding kink

Tags: @saiyanprincessswanie​ @mcudarklibrary​ @coconutqueen21​ @jtargaryen18​ @what-just-happened-bro​ @nsfwsebbie​ @bucksgoat​ @gigistorm​ @avengerimscreaming​ @venusavengers​ @saharzek​ @navybrat817​ @xoxabs88xox​ 

XXX

You and Chris worked together well. You and him had been co-workers for years for the Ares 3 mission. Your relationship was strictly professional, but you’d be lying if you both hadn’t snuck off during long training weeks to relieve some pent up energy.

You both had made it very obvious there were no feelings involved and that it was strictly a sexual relationship. He seemed fine with this, and you knew you were. You had bigger things to worry about, things far more important than a relationship. You and your team were on the brink of a breakthrough with the Mars trip being successful.

You were the team’s science officer as Beck worked at the surgeon. You both were to stay behind, you to research the planet and Beck to make sure you’re not hurt without proper assistance. You were to send weekly videos on the information needed for the arrival of permanent human life. 

Though it was a far-fetched dream, you wanted to find and grow enough organisms to start moving humans to the planet. After about 9 years on the planet, you were proud to say you had done just that. 

You excitedly turned on your computer to start a new weekly video, your mouth hurting from the uncontainable joy. “Good evening everyone, by the time this reaches you it should be morning, so good morning to you. I would just like to inform you all that the plants on the C-side of our inhabitants are growing enough oxygen to support 15 people, while the B-side and the D-side are able to hold 35. Side-A is not currently able to hold any form of life due to the temperatures still being too harsh, but I’m sure a weather modifier can be one of the first people on the shuttle here to start changing that safely. Chris and I happily await your arrival, and we hope to see you all soon. Bye-bye.” You smile and wave to the camera as you end the video, preparing it to be sent off. 

You thought about the number of people who would be here just in a few months. People of all ages and backgrounds had signed up to come, including children with their parents, so you could study how it would affect people of different ages, bodies, etc.

Just as you were walking out of your personal quarters, you bumped into Chris. “Oh, sorry about that,” he apologized, steading two mugs he held, “Tea?” You smiled at the raspberry tea he had become famous for making you every evening. 

“Thank you,” you happily grabbed one of the mugs and began drinking, “Just sent off the good news to base.” Chris raised his eyebrows before swallowing his own mouthful of tea.

“Are you excited?”

“You have no idea.”

“Yeah, it’ll be nice to have others around. Not that you’re not awesome.” Chris playfully elbowed you on the arm as you started leading him to the cameras in the kitchen. You wanted to check on the gardens and green life you had been nursing for the past 9 years.”

“No, I get it. I couldn’t have asked for a better partner on this, but man has it been a long nearly a decade.” Chris blew out a heavy sigh.

“God, has it really been that long? Seems like yesterday we got here,” you nodded your head as you checked off every camera for the night, “Well, I’m happy I spent it with you, too. How much you think we missed at home?” Now you let out a deep sigh.

“Who knows. The little information I’ve gathered hasn’t been too interesting, but I’m sure there’ll be something that’ll throw us off. You think socks with slippers are finally socially acceptable in public?” You looked down on your comfort shoes before meeting his eyes.

“If they haven’t, I think they’ll have to make an exception for you. You rock it so well,” he grinned at you. 

You laughed loudly, and he joined in. “Thank you, I’ll put in a good word for your stained shirts.” Chris mockingly rolled his eyes, causing another laugh to leave your lips, before he finished his tea. He took your empty mug to the sink as you got up to shower and prepare for the night. 

As you were in the shower you heard your door opening. “What the Hell, Beck, I’m in the shower.” your mind thought to the cameras in the bathroom that would no doubt see him walking in. Though the toilet and shower area were out of reach of the camera’s view, you still found the invasion too much. Sure they wanted to make sure you and Chris were staying strictly professional, you’d be lying if you said you and him didn’t turn off the cameras every once in a while to get in a quickie. 

You didn’t hear a response, so you opened the curtain to see nobody there. But your door was open. Huh, weird. Maybe he was just dropping something off? 

Once done in your shower, you made your way to your room and shrieked when you found Chris lying nude on the bed. “Chris, the cameras!” 

“Relax, babe, I turned them off. Think I’m a dumbass or something?”

You looked suspiciously at him for a second. “How, the cameras need a password that only I have.” It was your computer after all.

Chris reached for a slip of paper on the bedside table that wasn’t there before. It was the very one Dr. Grudge had given to you before the mission. “You hide everything in the same place. Under your sink isn’t the most clever hiding place, honey.” You rolled your eyes before shaking your head at him. 

“You’re something else, Beck.” 

“You love it. Now come on, it’s been two weeks, I’m hard as fuck, baby,” Chris pouted as he grabbed his massive member. You could feel your pussy clench at his words, and at how much you had missed him inside you. It had been a long two weeks.

You discarded the towel that covered your modesty, quickly climbing on the bed to straddle his hips. Chris hurriedly grabbed onto yours, both of you moaning in unison as you sunk down to his limit. 

“Fuck, daddy. You feel so good inside me,” you moaned as you found a rough but steady rhythm.

Chris growled, “Yeah? You like it when I fuck your tight little cunt? God, you’re so tight. I don’t think I’m fucking you enough, what do you think, hmm?” That’s when he took over and started thrusting up into you at a fast rate. The only sounds that could be heard were your loud moans of pleasure and skin against skin. If you listened hard enough, you could just barely hear the sounds of your pussy squelching around his dick. 

“Shit, I’m gonna cum,” you whined out. 

“Fuck, you’re squeezing me so hard, you wanna cum baby? Wanna cum all over my fat cock?” Chris’ thrusts got faster and harder as he reached a hand down to play with your clit. “Come on, honey, cum for me. Cum for daddy.” 

“Arg- oh God I’m coming!” you screamed out, drenching Chris in your juices. Chris continued to chase his own pleasure, you still trying to recover from the powerful orgasm. You tried to lift yourself from you to help him cum elsewhere, but Chris’ grip on you never faltered. 

“Let me cum inside you, I wanna feel your tight walls around me as I dump my load into you.” You quickly dropped from your post-orgasmic state at his words. You shook your head hurriedly. 

“No, you know I’m not on birth control,” you couldn’t have them due to them being destroyed on the journey here, “Pull out!” The pull-out method wasn’t the best plan, but it had been working just fine for the past 9 years. You couldn’t risk a pregnancy ruining the progress you had made, the academy would no doubt fire you both. 

“I spoke to Mark the other day, they lifted that rule a little while ago now,” Chris grunted, his orgasm was getting close, “With them sending supplies I figured we could easily get something to prepare for a baby. They’ll be here in what? 6 at most 8 months. You’ll still be pregnant with my baby by then. Our baby.” 

You shook your head. This was madness, even if the rule wasn’t in force you were in no place to have a baby right now. You still wanted to further your career, and you certainly didn’t want to have a baby with Chris. He was a good man, but you couldn’t see yourself with him in that position. 

“Chris, stop. This isn’t funny, let go now. I won’t tell anyone you did this if you stop now.”

Chris just laughed at you, “Can’t do that, baby. I want you to make me a real daddy, I’ve waited long enough. We’re. Perfect. For. Each. Other.” Each word was accompanied by a hard thrust, soon you felt warmth flooding your channel. “Fuck! Take it, take my load.” Chris continued pushing his cum further into you, working himself down his high. 

Chris held you to him as he stayed inside you. He stroked your back as he slowly pulled out of you, forcing your limp body into a position on your stomach. You were too numb to fight back, tears were starting to form in your eyes that you quickly blinked away. 

“You’re gonna be such a good mom, I can see it now,” Chris mumbled as he cupped your stomach before shoving his hardening cock back into you. This was going to be a long next few months. 

#itgetsdarkspookychallenge #mcudarklibrarykinkmonth

[deniigi]

bro, work made me depressed that I literally left my seat to regain any resemblance of joy or something equivalent before breaking down again. Do you think you can provide a ficlet I involving Peter and Sam to cheer me up?

FUCK CAPITALISM

TAKE THIS

Title: Calibrating

Summary: Sam and Peter talk themselves towards a meaningful discussion.

---------

Peter did this thing—this infuriating thing where he texted shit like ‘come over’ and then Sam had to bend over backwards to be flirty and coy.

It was imperative that he came across as flirty and coy.

Im-fucking-perative, regardless of what Leilani said or Matt’s annoyance at what he called the ‘jungle of depravity’ that overtook the group chat pretty much daily.

Sam didn’t care.

If Peter texted the group or sent any message that might be construed upside-down as something romantic or sexual, Sam not only had to catch it, but he had to volley it back.

This, he told Leilani, sealed their No-Homo contract.

She stared at him.

He decided to demonstrate.

“See, here, look, I’ll show you,” he said, dragging out his phone. “Exhibit A. There he is, see? Asking about the strength of PVC pipe in pounds per meter like a fuckin’ tease. Now I can’t just let him think that I saw that and didn’t think of it as a metaphor, alright? So I say—”

“Sam, why does he need to know the strength of PVC pipe?” Leilani interrupted.

It didn’t matter. That wasn’t the point of this discussion.

“I’m sending a winky-face,” Sam informed her as he did that very thing.

Leilani stared harder than before.

But look, skepticism was unrewarded. Peter texted a kiss right back and said ‘oh boo, you always know just want to say.’

How could she not see the No-Homo? Sam could do this all day. He could and there would be absolutely no problems and he wouldn’t want to suffocate himself in his pillow at the end of it all.

It was fine.

“Samuel,” Leilani said, “I’m going to tell you something and I want you to hear it with an open heart. Will you open your heart for me?”

Sam spun around in his chair and arranged his arms and legs so that they were as open as they could feasibly be without being obscene.

“I am more open than a boiled clam,” he informed her.

Leilani blinked slowly, then shook her head and checked over her shoulders. She waved him in closer. Then closer. And then close enough that he could smell her perfume on her neck.

“You’re the tease,” she said.

Then she left the backroom. And Sam could only stare after her, frozen in horror as his wide-open heart wrinkled in on itself, picking up mass and gravity until it was naught but a black hole.

“I’m the tease?” he whispered to himself in shock.

Oh no.

OH NO.

 --

  “SENSEI.”

Matt dropped his collection of folders and swore, clutching at his chest.

“We have discussed volume, Sam,” he said, bending down to collect his paper children.

Sam took the opportunity to throw both arms around his neck from behind as a threat.

“Don’t lie,” he warned. “Swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, amen.”

Matt stood up and Sam felt his toes leave the floor. He hadn’t planned this far ahead.

“Or what?” Matt asked, 110% unfazed.

Sam wished that his feet weren’t kicking around in air here. It really put a dent in his intimidation factor.

“Am I a tease?” he asked.

Matt faced front with heavy eyebrows. Sam couldn’t see his face from this angle, but he knew that aura of irritation.

“If you have to ask the question, then you already know the answer,” Matt said. “Does that help?”

“No, I hate you now, actually,” Sam told him.

Matt dropped him right on his ass.

 --

 There had to be a way to attain proof. To determine once and for all that it was Sam who was in the wrong here, misinterpreting things like the genius that he was.

Thankfully, Sam’s experience of growing up as a non-only child for the last two decades had prepared him exactly for this type of conversation.

 SC: HANNAH AM I A TEASE???

HC: yes

HC: next question

SC: FUCK.

SC: WHAT IF ITS NOT NO-HOMO?

HC: my dear brother, the only options if something is not no-homo is for it to be no-no or homo-homo.

SC: Murder me

HC: gladly

SC: I’m in possible homo-homo with spiderman

HC: are you sure it’s not no-no?

SC: MURDER ME

HC: okay but like if it’s no-no then this is not a problem, right?

SC: If it’s no-no then I’ve read every sign wrong and I deserve to become a partially eaten tadpole awash in an indifferent boiling sea

HC: okay so we’re leaning INTO the drama today I gotcha. Alright but like, just for the sake of arguing, what if it was homo-homo?

SC: then I need you to bury my body somewhere no one will ever find it because my heart can’t stand requited love you know this about me.

HC: give me your login

SC: thank you I love you you’re the only person who matters

 --

 BT: Spiderman.

SM: Blindspot. DMing? You okay?

BT: this is Hannah.

SM: OH

SM: hi Hannah are you okay? Did you need something?

BT: My brother never got tested for reading comprehension but would have failed anyways. Can you arbitrate an arbitrary argument for us?

SM: I’m positive that there is a link between those two ideas that I am missing, but sure?

BT: okay are you ready?

SM: my loins have been girded.

BT: gross. you two are made for each other. Okay: what are your opinions on 24yo Chinese dudes with bad vision who are 5’7” tall, with terrible hair and brains as big and gaseous as Jupiter?

SM: positive

BT: you’re so romantic spidey.

SM: I know

BT: I’m going to tell him now

SM: WAIT DON’T TELL HIM

BT: byeeeeeee

 --

 Sam was going to have a heart attack. He couldn’t look at his phone. He was just going to lay here until he wasted away into a fossil.

Mm, yes, what a wonderful way to escape any and all feelings. That was—

His phone chirped and he nearly fell out of his chair in a hurry to answer it.

 HC: [image] [image]

HC: you owe me your bones

SC: AFASDFADFAS:FJaf’asdfjahsdlfihasdl’fas

SC: TAKE THEM

HC: if you fuck spiderman you have to get pregnant and demand alimony for your beautiful mixed babies Samuel

SC: Darling sister, we’ve talked about this. it isn’t going to happen I still have yet to steal a womb

HC: try harder

HC: ttyl

--

 Okay, this was fine.

Everything was fine.

Spidey liked Sam back, it was no big deal. Spidey liked everyone back. Even the teases.

Even.

The.

Teases.

Fuck, Sam had to move.

 --

 Foggy caught him biting his nails to pieces over the copy machine and asked him if he was okay. He was not. Foggy could read this off him. He didn’t ask again, but he did say that if Sam was feeling particularly anxious about something he was welcome to go have his breakdown upstairs in Kirsten’s kitchen instead of downstairs among the files.

Sam appreciated his offer. He hiked up the stairs, and halfway up, his phone chirped.

His heart stopped.

It chirped again, and then again. By the time he got to the top of the stairs, it was chirping every couple of seconds with messages being typed and sent at mach speed.

He kicked off his shoes and went to go stand over Kirsten’s sink to open the first one.

  PP: Sam it’s peter hey listen your sister messaged me

PP: and was asking some pretty invasive questions and I replied to her. I don’t know if you saw them but I just wanted to say that if that makes you uncomfortable in any way know that I absolutely don’t mind and I’ll stop

PP: you can tell me to fuck off if that crossed your boundaries. I shouldn’t have even messaged her back without asking you

PP: and obviously in future I won’t talk to her until I’ve cleared it with you I just wasn’t thinking I’m never thinking it’s a little hard to think sometimes

PP: especially when you message me back and I get caught up in the games and the emojis and stuff and like I’m sure that sometimes I overstep but I don’t mean to and you can tell me at any point if you want me to stop

PP: I guess I just really like to talk to you sometimes and it’s fun to have someone to banter with who actually banters back like not in a mean way but in a really nice and funny way. you’re an easy guy to talk to is what I’m saying

PP: which I’m sure you get a lot. I don’t mean that I want to like tell you all my problems I swear it’s not that it’s just more of a AHHHHH I don’t even know what I’m saying I think it’s sorry???

PP: I’m sorry??? I don’t mean to imply anything that isn’t there and I don’t want to make you feel like you have to either. Ar e you mad? Please don’t be mad okay wait no I’ve sent like seven fucking messages I’m being a creep oh my god IM SORRY ILL SHUT UP NOW OKAY SORRY BYE

  Oh nooooo.

The panic-induced infodump was not only familiar but horrendously endearing.

Sam had to explode now.

Man. Bummer.

  SC: it’s okay Peter

PP: OH THANK GOD

PP: is it tho??? Are you sure?

SC: I have positive feelings towards people like you too

  Sam’s heart pounded. He almost locked his phone and threw it in the sink, but another text came in just as that thought finished crossing his mind.

  PP: you do?

SC: yes of course I do

PP: oh nice

SC: yeah

  Annnnnnnd cue mutual nerd awkwardness. Great. Well done, Sam, you’ve done it again.

He sighed and turned away from the sink and sunk down onto the floor with his back against it.

Such a loser, Chung. So painfully awkward. Would it kill you to, just for once, slow down and chill for a minute?

God.

  PP: hey sam?

  No, Sam just wanted to sit on this floor and wallow.

  PP: hello? Are you still there?

 --

Sam let his head fall back against the sink. He closed his eyes.

His phone rang in his hand and he nearly had a heart attack. His fingers scrabbled over its face and the caller ID read ‘Peter Parker.’

Oh god.

Oh no.

Be cool. Be cool. Be cool.

“Hello?” he answered to the scratchy phone silence on the other side of the line.

He frowned.

“Hello?” he tried again, a smidge less desperate.

“Hi.”

There he was.

“Hey,” Sam said. “Sorry, just got awkward.”

Peter laughed through the line.

“Me too,” he said. “That was awkward.”

Yeah.

“Yeah.”

A long pause.

“I’m doing it again,” Sam moaned into his hand.

“No, no. Hey, you’re good,” Peter said. “I was just uh. Calling because.” He trailed off.

Sam waited.

“Sam? You still there?”

He startled and cleared his throat.

“Yeah, I’m here,” he said. “Sorry, zoning out a little bit. You know, busy day.”

“Yeah,” Peter said.  “Yeah, I know.”

Sam breathed as quietly as he could. He could almost hear Peter doing the same on his end.

“Sorry, I’ve gotta g—” Sam started.

“Hey, do you like me?”

HNG.

“No?” Sam answered and then punched himself in the leg. “Sorry. Uh. I didn’t—I mean, uh. Yes. Of course I like you. You’re a really good person. I admire you a lot.”

Hannah, oh Hannah, where is thine shovel? Sam needed it to dig this grave deeper, please.

“Oh. Okay, I just—I guess I uh, have a hard time reading the tone of your texts sometimes,” Peter said.

“It’s okay, I get that a lot,” Sam said. “I’ll try harder to be more direct.”

“No,” Peter said. “No, no, you don’t have to change anything.”

“Oh? Okay, well. Maybe I still will, though,” Sam said.

If Peter wouldn’t have heard him, he would have started to try to fit his whole fist in his mouth.

Five minutes of conversation and they were still saying nothing.

“Sam?”

He swallowed.

“Yeah?” he asked.

“Next time you’re in the city, would you, uh, maybe want to go out somewhere? With me?”

Out? What like, to a movie or something?

“Yeah, just like that,” Peter said. “’Cause I uh. Would like to. Do that, I mean. With you.”

“With me?” Sam asked. “Oh right, and your other friends, uh, names—sorry, I’m bad with names. N-ned?”

“No,” Peter said oddly abruptly. “Well, I mean—I don’t mean it like that. I just—just with you. For now. That’s what I mean.”

“Oh. Uh. Kinda like a date?” Sam asked through the forcefield of self-hatred that felt like it spanned the entire continental US.

There was a pause. Sam held his breath.

“Yeah,” Peter said. “Exactly like a date. If you don’t mind—you know, doing that with me.”

AHAHAHAHAHAHA.

“Are you trying to lure me to a secondary location, Mr. Parker?” Sam asked seriously.

The laugh that met him made all the muscles in his shoulders relax.

“Maybe if the bit at the first location goes well,” Peter said. Then added hurriedly, “If you’re down for that.”

Sam was down for it right now.

Actually, maybe not in Kirsten’s kitchen. But like, right now in a different location.

“If it’s a movie date, we can do it through Netflix Party,” he pointed out faux-lightly. “It wouldn’t be the same, but we could do it this weekend, even. Saturday—I’m off Saturday.”

Peter said nothing for a long time.

“Okay. Saturday,” he finally agreed, “I can do Saturday. Kinda hard to hold your hand through a screen, but I can give it my best shot?”

FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFfffffff.

“Oh, I bet you will,” Sam nearly choked.

“You’re really cute, Sam.”

NO. SHUT UP. YOU ARE.

“Thanks.”

“I wanted to kiss you last time you were here, but I was too, uh. Shy. Embarrassed. One of them.”

Sam was going to puke, but in like, the happiest kind of way.

“I like you a lot too, Peter,” he whispered.

“Are you crying?”

“What? No.”

“Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.”

“Shut up, I’m not. I—the old man’s downstairs, his ears aren’t as good through ceilings, but I just want to make sure—”

“Uh-huh,” Peter said. “I’m sure that’s what it is. So I’ll see you Saturday? Maybe Facetime or something?”

“Yeah, Saturday,” Sam said. “I’ll send you a time when I know. I’ve gotta go. Meltdown-alloted-breaktime is over.”

Peter laughed.

“Alright, man, I’ll talk to you later. Bye now.”

“Bye,” Sam said lamely.

He hung up the phone. He did not scream. But he did fist pump and then fall onto his side.

 ---------

Here’s to hoping things get easier for you anon!!

#fic #ficlet #btsm #samuel chung #peter parker #I just love them being awkward nerds with each other #I JUST WANT THEM TO KISS AND THEN CRY A LITTLE ABOUT IT ITS FINE

[nightshadedawn]

Persona 5 Royal Playthrough pt3

I ended up going through two Palaces before I could update y’all. Oh well.

...Yeah, no, quit calling me Miss Special Snowflake's boyfriend. It's not happening.

Ryuji, Morgana, and Yusuke having a conversation in the laundromat: "It's like he's our mom," says Ryuji... the mom friend.

Every time Morgana is like "I have to turn into a human so no one else can have Lady Ann!" then expects no one else to hear him makes me laugh. Like, bitch, no.

I have the restaurant in my Thieves Den 'cause I like it. Yusuke, Ryuji, and Morgana are there. They're so precious.

I got a three in a row Tycoon on cutthroat!!!

Ryuji and Ann just keep going "Shoulda figured" and other versions of the statement every time I win.

Ann just rejected Morgana's feelings HARD. I am happy.

Ryuji is too good, honestly. Why would anyone not like him? He's... He's always trying to build the team up, make them proud of themselves and what they've done. I will admit that he has his moments of being not a great human, but they're teenagers who were given absurd powers, so honestly, can you blame them?

I didn't know darts was an actual minigame! There's so many minigames. I'm so happy.

I don't like Akechi. I don't know why some people do. Like, his death scene was a bit... too late for a redemption for me, right after he tried to kill Joker, several times. His pain is understandable, but still... I can't.

Their "two sides of the same coin" also doesn't seem particularly fair. It's totally uneven in everything but color schemes.

Guys, GUYS, please, PLEASE decide whether you're going to react to my teasing or not.

"We don't have to deal with them directly," Ryuji says joyfully about the mafia. Oh you sweet, sweet, innocent child, if only you knew what I do.

I literally can't play this game around anyone else because I tend to yell "BABY!" to Ryuji, Ann, and Yusuke and "BITCH" or "FUCKER" to... a rather long list of villains in this game... and Makoto.

I can literally feel Yusuke's anxiety about his painting when you take him to Leblanc to see Sayuri.

How can you say Yusuke isn't gay when he says everything I do is beautiful?

I love Ryuji's 9th social link. It's LITERALLY written like a confession scene. This also means I kinda hate it because... I can't date him.

Also... PRETTY BOY RYUJI PRETTY BOY RYUJI PRETTY BOY RYUJI

I actually kinda thought that the new scene for Ryuji being a crossdresser is kinda funny??? Is this bad??? I wanna see him in a dress, tho. I gotta agree, he'd be a natural. Not the like, painfully obviously not taking it seriously from the dancing game, though.

Though I do think it's valid that he freaks out when two strange adults come up to him and try to take him somewhere, especially in a place known for being shady, and at night.

...When Ryuji complains about it, I do feel bad about ditching him. Then again, I blame the cat.

Ryuji may be my ideal type on paper, but I'm also highly attracted to Yusuke and this is so totally unfair.

*softly chanting* butlers butlers butlers butlers

Don't mind me just... *makes meticulous plot to avoid having Makoto join the team that i may or may not write a fanfic about*

Makoto is one dumbass bitch. Like, honestly, there's nothing she does that's in any way remotely smart.

...I thought I'd just skip Makoto's scenes until she became relevant, but here I am, still skipping her scenes. Does that mean she’s still irreleveant?

"Witch" I suggest, and Makoto complains! "Would you prefer "Bitch"? I can use that too.

I put Yusuke on the team in the middle of the palace through settings, replacing Morgana, who had been standing right behind me. Which made Yusuke stand right behind me. It looked like he was holding onto my waist and standing uncomfortably close. Bro, babe, I love you, but not in front of my boyfriend and girlfriend!

Just accept the compliment, guys, I'm not going to compliment Queen.

...Opening chests with Ann or Ryuji is just so sweet because they're so affectionate and touchy feely. Especially Ryuji.

Math. Fucking. Sucks. I should not have to use math in a game. I hate this. Obviously it's the Palace Makoto comes in that this happened.

Well, I finished the Palace in a day. I love the feeling. But it was getting close there. Joker and Yusuke were down to no spells...

...Yoshizawa hasn't showed up yet. When is she getting shoehorned in?

WHY IS THE VELVET ROOM RED!?

My very first playthrough I didn't execute a single execution except for the first one we have to do. It  really screwed me over my second playthrough...

...I broke the electric chair. That's certainly something that happened.

147 games of Tycoon later and I've only been a beggar 31 times in total, versus the pure thirty wins in just Cutthroat.

They're in their summer uniforms and it makes make miss warmer weather already. It's fucking snowing outside. Grrrr.

Beat Kaneshiro! ...Wasn't a fan of his new boss battle. I'm even playing on safe mode! But whatever.

Makoto is a DISASTER at Tycoon. She exclusively got beggar all three times I played with her!

...RYUJI YOU CAN'T SAY SHIT LIKE THAT AND NOT LET ME DATE YOU.

Ann, sweeties, baby, you're doing so well.

She confessed to me, then in the call afterwards it was basically insinuated I proposed... WHICH IS LIKE FUCK YEAH 'CAUSE SHE ACCEPTED IT.

It makes me think of the future conversation where they're talking about marriage.

Anyway, if you haven't noticed, l love Ann.

My next playthrough I'm not gong to date her, though. I'm a completionist and I want ALL of the possible awards. But... I refuse to cheat on Ann. So I'll date everyone else then just hang with Ryuji... despite how cringy some of the date things are.

...If Akechi wasn't, you know EVIL and tried to KILL ME, SEVERAL TIMES, I might, MIGHT, like him. But in truth, I think that's really just the Persona 5: Revival talking. We get... into some stuff during that.

I know that either Atlus or the translators know EXACTLY what goes on in the Persona fandom because otherwise "He's too pretty to be wrong" would not be an option when talking to the newspaper girl about Akechi. I have to agree with her that his looks aren't really, you know, awesome enough for that.

Also, I read it as "He's too petty to be wrong" at first and I think that's an accurate sum of his character.

YO AKECHI-FUCK I HAVE NO NEED TO SEE YOUR ASS LIKE THAT WHEN I HAVE BOTH A BF AND AND GF.

...fucker fucking giving me shit about my fake glasses...

If you COULD date the boy out of mod, Akechi would definitely be the one they were pushing you to date. Like Makoto. Or Yoshizawa.

But hey, at least I get to not be nice to him.

I remember seeing this picture where Ann, Ryuji, and Joker kept going to the movies together and seeing 3D movies, and Joker couldn't wear the 3D glasses properly because of his own. I keep imagining that picture during this event with Caroline and Justine.

You know what? Some people call Joker a loli lover because of them, but nope! He's just adopted two more siblings. That is my stance on it.

FUcking

Fucker

WHAT THE FRRRRRRRR

FUCK YOU ATULS OR TRANSLATORS OR WHATEVER

APHRODITE AND MARS ARE FROM TWO DIFFERENT MYTHOS. Aphrodite is GREEK, Mars is ROMAN. Their reversed are VENUS and ARES. USE ONE OR THE OTHER PEOPLE.

I get very pissed about this, and it's worse with Hades.

7/4 is the day I am screaming at, if you were wondering.

My dad asked me if the other students think Joker's stupid because every time I answer a question right they get all surprised.

I don't really like Makoto, as I'm sure you've noticed, but she was super nice about Ryuji's special move idea. And that put her ahead of Akechi in my book.

TESTS ARE NERVE WRACKING EVEN WHEN THEY'RE FICTIONAL

Yusuke and Ryuji are good boys, the best boys. And they're so awesome about their special move.

AND RYUJI OFFERED MONEY FOR YUSUKE'S FOOD. And implied that he did it before???? Ryuji, you best boy.

This boys' outing DOES make me happy, though. Like, insanely happy. Dunno why.

Maybe because Joker gets to be so flipping cheesy.

...fuck you, Yoshizawa.

HONESTLY WHAT THE EVER LOVING--- Grr. Too many choices while with her. Too many. OOC Joker when with her. 0/10.

I LOVE THE FESTIVAL PHOTO

And you know, it's really hard to choose between Lala-chan and Ann, but... GONNA TAKE ANN ON A DATE

Got her some flowers. Lets see if we can give them to her this time!

"Such a good FRIEND." Babe, we're DATING. For like, TWO WEEKS NOW.

AND I DIDN'T EVEN GET TO GIVE HER FLOWERS

Ann called Yusuke a pretty boy, but then she's missing out on the REAL pretty boy, Pretty Boy Ryuji.

Ryuji, why're you so worried about other girls when you've got ME?

"I like the shade." "What are you, moss!?" Oh, admit it, Ryuji, I'm growing on you.

Cargona. Snrk. Gods, I love you, Ryuji.

Dome town with Ryuji! "Isn't it all couples?" That's the point!

I COULD GIVE RYUJI THE ROSES!?

Sadly, I bought those for Ann. Ryuji, you get the noodles.

AND HE FUCKING LOVED IT.

"It feels like I really captured Ryuji's heart!" FUCK YEAH I DID

Gonna give Yusuke the bracelet when I get the chance.

Why is everyone color coded in the chat room? Kawakami, Akechi, Mishima, and the reporter are all ORANGE. What's the point? Well, Akechi's more of a golden orange, but close enough.

While Mishima is not my first choice for a date, he's definitely not my last.

...But the boy really needs some fucking sleep. He's not drawn with the bags under his eyes, but I can see them!

It's not fair that they give Akechi a kicked puppy sprite. I'm... goddamnit, they're trying to make me not hate him.

When Makoto doesn't know something, I'm brought great joy.

NO DAD MAKOTO IS NOT MY GIRLFRIEND ANN IS AND SHE IS LITERALLY R I G H T T H E R E

First day in Futaba's Palace! I've gotta say, this is my second favorite palace. Kamoshida, Futaba, Madarame, Sae, Okumura, Shido, Kaneshiro, Holy Grail. In that order. I HATE Kaneshiro's place and dealing with the Holy Grail. But whatevs, man. I love this game. (Vanilla, at least, this one is still on the fence)

I found out a cool little thing. On the uphill sand slopes in the town (don't know about anywhere else) if you're running and turn back quickly, Joker will do a little animation to steady himself. It was cool and made it seem, I dunno, more human? Anyway, while I was admiring this, Ryuji and Yusuke just stood at the top of the slope and Ann followed me while I was running. Best girlfriend ever.

Kin-Ki is looking pretty kin-ky if you know what I'm sayin'

Please don't murder me because I do terrible puns.

*we fall through the trap door* *Ryuji starts screaming* Same, baby, same.

...Makoto is seriously annoying. Like, she's got no business acting as familiar with Futaba's situation. The one who WOULD be the most familiar is Yusuke, and I'm glad he recognizes that. It's not the exact same, none of their stories are after all, but I feel like those two get each other better than even Ryuji and Joker understand each other.

Yusuke and Ryuji's special attack is THE BEST

Ryuji and Joker getting up close and personal in the shadows. All those fanfics coming true, man.

I thought Futaba was sloth, not wrath? Why are her Will Seeds called Wrath?

Beat it in one day! It's so satisfying to watch all those achievements when I leave the palace.

You know, I'm thinking of wearing the Christmas outfits for the final battle. Just to be kinda funny.

Spending a relaxing day with Yusuke after going through Futaba's Palace... kinda want to take him to the bathhouse to check out that new scene, but I also REALLY wanna feed the boy... gonna feed the boy.

Apparently I can only make 'decent curry.' Which is fine. Because "I" can't make curry at all. Joker, you've done much better than I.

THE DATE CHANGE SCREEN HAD A RAINBOW AND RYUJI WAS COMING OVER ON THE SAME DAY FUCK YEAH MY BISEXUAL BABY

...Broooooo, the way you talk about your manga is how I talk right before I start shipping.

Took him to the bathhouse, 'cause I don't gotta worry about Mama Sakamoto feeding him.

...Can I take Ann to the bathhouse?

Asked Ryuji to move in. He was all up for the idea until he remembered that I live in an attic.

I'm Charismatic now!

...I was all hoping Ann would stop by but then Akechi asked me out. Laaaaaaaame.

Ryuji's smile is so fucking cute.

...I say we just be honest, and everyone's so fucking stupid about it until Makoto explains it. This pisses me off. They're not that dumb... At least, they weren't until Makoto showed up.

Futaba's hiding in the closet. ...I've spent too many weeks making jokes about closets to not have a joke about it.

Really, Yusuke? You see those books and think she can't understand?

...Wait, that sassy tone of voice... You were TRYING to pull a reaction of her. I knew I shipped those two for a reason. OTP and BroTP. Doesn't matter, they're both awesome.

I love you Ann, but I don't think your situations were the same at all. It's not like both are valid and bad, but... different.

Joker is SO fast compared to the others, especially when he's speeding.

What the...

Holy fuck...

JOKER IS TOO EFFING COOL

THAT MOVE TO GET FROM THE ENTRANCE TO TO TREASURE DOOR? Awesome!

Damn, Joker has my heart too.

I kinda wish we could see Futaba's costumes in her Persona. That would be pretty neat.

The moment right before Wakaba appears is so aesthetically pleasing.

...Futaba being happy is almost enough for me to accept Maruki's offer, and I haven't gotten there yet.

Ryuji and Ann keep smacking each other out of their ailments. Like, you guys just love each other so much! It's awesome.

Joker has lackluster responses to Wakaba... I'm hoping that isn't one of those "Answer these wrong and you break her!" things... Not that I think I was, but still.

I liked Futaba's new animation for when she defied her mother.

I wish the anime looked more the cutscenes. I'm trying to rewatch the anime so I can pinpoint specific moments for future editing purposes, but it's kinda painful.

1- This is the SECOND TIME you've landed on Yusuke while running from trouble.

2- YUSUKE LET GO OF MY GIRL

No Makoto, I don't want to go see Futaba with you! I can go see her myself.

So, I like Takemi's new voice with her lines during this scene.

Sure, she collapses every so often and sleeps for a while. Stays like that for a few days. Sorry that I put her into a coma for a month, Boss...

SHE LOOKS SO CUTE WITHOUT GLASSES

Guys, we have a month. Stop worrying.

THE TWINS ARE SO CUTE WHILE HANGING ONTO THE BENCH PRESS

Damn, Joker's dying to the amusement of two little girls.

I'm kinda disappointed I didn't get results for all that training. But I liked the scene.

Yusuke just casually be lugging bigass paintings around.

Taking the girls to the church may have been one of the funnier moments. These cement them as Joker's little sisters. With Futaba. Damn, Joker, you got no brothers.

Yusuke promises to come by every day and we can tell him to take his clothes off. ATLUS, you have some EXPLAINING to DO.

..And Yusuke took it and ran with it. My sweet summer child, I don't think I could handle you in as little as possible on the day to day.

"The heat induced delirium made me think outside the box." Same.

Guts takes sooooooooooooo long to level up.

"Punish me more" he says, as if Takemi won't do it.

"Good god. Well, none of my medicine can cure THAT." AT LEAST WE'RE ALL ON THE SAME PAGE

BATHHOUSE WITH YUSUKE

Awe, he had fun. :)

#Persona 5 #akira kusuru #shuann #pegoryu #pegoryuann #persona 5 royal #yusuke kitagawa #ann takamaki #Ryuji Sakamoto #Pretty Boy Ryuji

[greekbros]

"greek-Bros: Bread"

*Hestia as invited her "darling" nephews to teach them how to cook."

Hestia: O'righty my dearies! Your first lesson is how to light the oven! *Snaps her fingers and the oven flames on* Of course you boys have to use a stick and a flame but I'm positive you would know how to do that.

Apollo: *lights the oven with a snap of his fingers considering he is the god of the sun*

Hephaestus: *lights the oven with no struggle*

Hermes: *just lights it with flame*

Dionysus: *kinda of just tosses a lit stick haphazardly and burns his finger a little*

Ares: *looks at the oven, kind just decides to take a whole ass torch and light his oven* ......

Hestia: Very good! Now, on to the main staple of the kitchen.... cooking!

*after a few hours of teaching a group of grown ass men how to make bread*

Hestia: Ok. So let me see what you bo-*sees 4 horrible looking loaves of bread and one loaf that resembled a rock* ...... okie dokie than, boys please get your loaves.

Apollo: *walks up to a oddly shaped loaf and takes it*

Hestia: hmmm....it's a good try deary, your first time?

Apollo: ....ugh actually I tried my hand at baking several times actually.

Hestia: Oh. It's ok, it looks wonderful and I can see you're progressing. *Takes a piece to taste it* it's tastes wonderful too.

Apollo: :v

Hestia: ok who's next?

Dionysus: *takes a loaf that had a nice cut design but the loaf is mysteriously purple*

Hestia: What an interesting color? What did you put in the dough?

Dionysus: Wine.

Hestia: But....that's not possible. Adding more liquid to your dough should have soften the dough and COMPLETELY altered it...also somehow it still very heavily colored. *Cuts into the loaf to eat a piece, absolutely confused about the taste* ..... Dionysus, what else did you put in this?

Dionysus: ugh... lavender, some Hyacinth, some gladiolus.....

Hestia: Deary....did you put flowers?

Dionysus: yeah just like you said. "Add flower to the mix."

Hestia: .....*takes a pot full of flour*....this is the flour I was talking about. Not flowers.

Dionysus: Ooooohh....*takes a piece of his loaf and eats it*....it's still good.

Hestia: it's a good try and I have to admit the color is quite whimsical. Next loaf!

Hermes: *takes out something that looks like a dented discus* ......

Hestia: Oh you made focaccia?

Hermes: .....ugh.... actually...I don't know.

Hestia: hmmm....*cuts the rock hard bread and sees that it's collapsed* oh dear, how long did you let it proof?

Hermes: *remembered he got bored and just tossed it in the oven* ........like 30 secs.

Hestia: *takes a deep breath* well, if you let your dough proof, it helps it become more fluffy.

Hermes: oh.

Hestia: It's alright deary, baking takes patience but I have no doubt you'll improve. Next loaf.

Hephaestus: *takes out a seemingly perfect loaf*

Hestia: Oh my! Well done Hephaestus! Let's have a taste. *Tries to cut the loaf but it's not cutting* ? ....*knocks on the loaf and it feels like a rock* ....what the? *Examines the loaf and realizes it's actually a rock* ......it seems you inherited mother's pension for using rocks.

Hephaestus: .......my first batch became curdled and I felt too embarrassed to ask for more ingredients.

Hestia: Aw, it's alright Hephaestus, mistakes happen, you can try again later. *Turns around and sees what looks like a rock in Ares's oven* ...........

Ares: ........

Hestia: ......*takes the loaf* .....*looks at really hard* .....Ares did you put a rock in the oven like Hephaestus?

Ares: ..........no.

Hephaestus: >:u

Hestia: *takes the loaf, weights it in her hand and it felt light* ?! *Taps it and it sounds hallow like what bread should sound like* .....*takes and cuts the loaf and realizes it looks like a completely normal loaf of bread* ?!?!?

Ares: .....I think I burned it.

Hestia: ....*takes a piece and eats it* ....I'm not certain how you did it but you somehow charbroiled your bread.....it's completely fine with the exception of the crust....I'm just trying to figure out how did you do this with burning it all the way through. *Looks at the bread with mild destress*

Ares: :D yeah I did it.

Apollo, Dionysus, Hermes: >:v *confused*

Hephaestus: ...*still mildly ashamed he replaced his bread with a rock like it was going to solve anything* ....I believe I shall continue with smelting and smithing..

#greek bros #greek gods #greek-Bros #ares #hephaestus #apollo #dionysus #hermes #hellenistic #greek mythology #hestia #greek myth memes

[adultswim2021]

Space Ghost Coast to Coast #85: “In Memory of Elizabeth Reed” | December 7, 2003 - 11:30 PM | S08E04

Happy 20th anniversary, Adult Swim. And, boy, what a momentous episode of Ghost do we have here to celebrate. There are a number of episodes where the guest is an event unto itself and this is truly one of them. Frequent punchline William Shatner is an absolute cunt... and a proper legend. His cuntiness and legendary status are two things that seem to be at odds with one another, and the Space Ghost crew have managed to come up with an artfully idiosyncratic episode to match Shatner’s weird-guy-ness. It’s a classic for sure, and important. But (making a “smug dipshit” face) is it funny?

YES! It’s FUNNY! I will admit though, the first time I saw this episode I didn’t quite know what to make of it. This is partially because I’m very much a Star Trek agnostic. I’ve never been into Star Trek. In the last few years I’ve watched most of the pre-Next Gen motion pictures for inane list-making reasons, and I enjoyed them to varying degrees, but Star Trek is truly not for me. I’m more of a... well, I’m not a Star Wars guy either. What’s the other one? Uh... Spaceballs. That’s it. I’m more of a Spaceballs guy.

But I feel like I’ve absorbed a lot of Star Trek lore through cultural osmosis. I vaguely understand that William Shatner has had some deliberately-paced choreographed fight scene on those rocks from Bill & Ted’s Bogus Journey. When I hear music similar to the the music that Jim Carrey hums in The Cable Guy, I’m pretty sure whatever it is I’m watching is doing a Star Trek thing. And yes, I’ve watched every single Red Letter Media “Mike and Rich talk about Star Trek for 4 hours” video. But even today, after having picked up more Star Trek knowledge on my journey to the grave, I still have this nagging feeling of “I only sort of get this”.

Still, this episode has a handful of screamingly funny lines, and the episode ends wonderfully, with Space Ghost in his death throes, suffering the ultimate indignity of dying in front of William Shatner. There’s also the part where Zorak asks why everyone in Star Trek is black, and a part where Moltar nervously reads from his fan fiction (from a book labeled TARD WARS, hahaha). Shatner, who has a reputation for being arrogant and difficult, is as good a sport as one could hope. The show makes good use of his hammier moments, and only shits on him slightly in the process. The most notable moment is when Shatner says to Zorak “didn't you and I fight to the death?” to which Zorak replies “That sounds pretty dumb, man”. I’ve actually quoted this line many times. It’s one of the best.

Also, for those of you who like to track these things: the show features callbacks to other episodes and shows; the handimen at Zorak’s apartment are clearly extras from Sealab 2020/2021, one of the Leprechauns from Aqua Teen Hunger Force shows up, and there’s a poignant callback to classic Space Ghost episode “Banjo”. 

The title motif of this season is naming the episodes after Allman Brothers songs, and I always wondered about this one. Maybe I’m reaching, and it’s probably too disrespectful to be true, but I always thought that it was somehow a veiled reference to Shatner’s wife, whom he supposedly killed or let die. It’s simply too dark to be true, but it’s the first thought that immediately jumped to my mind when I first heard the title of this episode. Am I stupid for thinking this? Am I stupid because it OBVIOUSLY is a reference to that?? I simply do not know. I would like to know.

MAIL BAG

The big anniversary is upon us. What are your 20 favorite things about adult swim for 20 years going. Don't sleep on this question!

I gotta do SOMETHING special, so I might as well do this. More thought could have gone into this, but I spent about an hour trying to come up with episodes or moments from 20 different shows and putting them in rough chronological order. I limited myself to one episode/scene/moment/joke/whatever per show so it’s not all Space Ghost jokes. So, here we go:

Sealab 2021: “I, Robot”. Adult Swim proved it could be brilliant right out of the gate with the stealth premiere of “I, Robot”, but for Sealab it’s all downhill from here. (2000)

Space Ghost Coast to Coast: Space Ghost stops in his tracks to reminisce about the time Bobcat Goldthwait said "crack a window". The entire episode “Kentucky Nightmare” is brilliant, but this moment in particular so uniquely captures my sense of humor that it’s inexplicable. The dumb look on Space Ghost’s face when he stops in his tracks. Goddamn. (2001)

Aqua Teen Hunger Force: “Mayhem of the Mooninites” I tried very hard to make this all be individual jokes or scenes or whatever, but this is another episode where the entire thing is just line after line and I can’t really pick. This, “I Robot”, and “Kentucky Nightmare” is like a perfect trio illustrating how good Adult Swim really was right out of the gate. (2001)

Home Movies: Jason casually reveals that his parents have no idea who Brendon and Melissa are and that he spends most of his free-time making movies with them. This is the episode “Storm Warning” which is overall one of the best episodes of Home Movies, but this scene is probably my favorite. Illustrates how simple and hilarious the comedy is on this show. (2002)

Tom Goes to the Mayor: the end scene in “Undercover”, where they’ve shoddily reversed Tom’s various unnecessary surgeries and called him “Taumpy Tears” to boot. Positively sublime. (2006)

Metalocalypse: Dr. Rockso’s music video. From the episode “Dethclown”. I was never in love with this show as much as the true fans were, but there were a handful of incredible episodes. This episode basically tells one joke over and over and it’s very funny. It really ends with a bang showcasing Dr. Rockso’s shitty music video that celebrates cocaine use. His singing voice is hilarious. (2006)

Assy McGee: I am the only person in the world that defends Assy McGee as being “actually pretty good” and it’s all entirely due to this one line: Assy McGee (a pair of naked buttocks with legs, whose ass functions as his head) is forced to attend a black tie event and is just milling around wearing nothing but a black bow tie. Through clenched anus he delivers the line “I can barely breathe in this penguin suit”. The whole show is worth it for that joke. I don’t even know what episode it is except that it’s from one of the first few. I might not even have the line exactly right. But, I remember laughing so hard. I may not have laughed at Assy McGee again. (2006)

Saul of the Mole Men: The opening theme song. And nothing else. (2007)

Tim & Eric Awesome Show, Great Job!: Jim and Derrick. I should pick something more user-friendly maybe, since this episode almost entirely relies on being familiar with Tim & Eric’s previous episodes. But goddamn, this episode is such a funny concept (which is basically Tim & Eric doing an alternate MTV-ified version of Awesome Show) (2008)

Moral Orel: “Numb”. When Moral Orel suddenly stopped being a quirky Adult Swim comedy and suddenly started doing episodes that resembled art films. This episode is a fucking masterpiece. I remember sobbing the first time I saw it. There are a few in season 3 that are like that, but this one is my favorite. (2008)

Check it Out! with Dr. Steve Brule: Terry Bruge-Hiplo reviews “Dumpster’s Children”. Another bit of comedy that I’d describe as “inexplicable” and “sublime”, and it all hinges on an old man’s mouth. Holy fuck. I don’t think I’ve laughed harder than this at a TV show since. (2010)

Delocated: The ending of “Mole”, an extended Face/Off riff where Jon goes undercover as the scary mobster Sergei. In the final moments of the episode he marries a woman, fathers multiple children with her, and only then is pulled out of the mission. The episode is a tour-de-force of comic acting by Steve Cirbus, who is graciously allowed to shine for most of the episode. But man, that ending is fucking wonderful. (2010)

Venture Bros.: The ending of “Operation P.R.O.M.” a flurry of emotions hit me when “Like a Friend” by Pulp starts playing. The scene is so well done and weirdly touching. Brock realizes that deep down he gives a shit about the Venture family and is genuinely terrified something might happen to them. And then he gets to slaughter a bunch of Zorak monsters, which is also weirdly sweet. It’s even touching on a meta-level knowing that Jackson and Doc tried many times and failed to include licensed music in the show. I love Venture Bros, but I think we’d all be better off if this were the series finale. Sorry. I had to say it. (2010)

The Heart She Holler: The first scene with Patton being taught the way of the world posthumously by his father on a VHS tape. The first season of this show is amazing, but that scene, especially where Patton does a little Japanese bow and says “oh, hot dog!” is just hysterical. Literally every time a hot dog comes up in conversation my wife and I quote it. Please, do not scorn her, it’s not racist when SHE does it. (2011)

Eagleheart: The All That Jazz inspired finale. “Paradise Rising” is mostly a masterpiece, and how it ends is so fucking incredible. Easily the most under-rated show on Adult Swim and I’m not just saying that because... you know (mimes dick-sucking) (2014)

Rick and Morty: I watched the first two episodes of Rick and Morty, thought it was good, but for some reason didn’t become a devotee until my wife made me watch the Mr. Poopybutthole episode. It’s still my favorite episode, I think. (2015)

Brett Gelman’s Dinner in America: The “Dinner with” specials are all really good, but goddamn, this one hits. Should be shown in schools. I am going to go to every grade school in my county with an AR-15 (to get past the guards, of course) and I won’t leave until they call an assembly and they let me fumble around trying to find it on vimeo and play it for the students. (2016)

The Eric Andre Show: Eric interviews Steve Schirripa. The bit where he has an intern dip his balls in Steve’s spaghetti sauce is hilarious, naturally, but I’m here to showcase the running gag where every time Steve complains how hot the studio is, Eric just wordlessly hands him an ice cube until Steve explodes. It’s one of the most childishly hilarious things I’ve ever seen. It’s perfect. (2016)

Million Dollar Extreme Presents: World Peace: The Pick-Up artist sketch. I’m mostly unimpressed with MDE, and all but a few Sam Hyde bits leave me cold. But this sketch is a crowning achievement. I mean, I think these guys suck politically and are more mean than funny, but their sensibilities yielded one really incredible piece of comedy. Okay, I laughed at the blackface sketch too. There. You dragged it out of me. (2016) Joe Pera Talks With You: This show is beautiful and I love every episode. But the episode “Joe Pera Reads You The Church Announcements” Wherein Joe discovers a new-to-him song and can’t stop listening to it, is one of the most joyous episodes of television I’ve ever seen. A gateway episode. I tell everyone to please watch this one first. (2018)

#adult swim #space ghost coast to coast #adultswim2021

[intelligentdumbass]

The Obligatory Beach Episode

(Yeah this is more crack-ish)

———————

The sun shone bright and high on the afternoon sky as the crystal waves crashed into the sand.

Poseidon and Zeus were surfing; the god of the sea trying to use all sorts of subtle tricks to make his brother fail every time. Ares, Artemis, Athena and Hermes were having a good ole round of beach volley ball. Apollo was laying down, wearing shades of course, and chatting with Persephone and Aphrodite while they built a sand castle on top of him. Dionysus and Hephaestus were drinking wine under the shade, with Hades not too far off; trying to make sure he doesn’t get any sand stuck in between his toes. In the meantime, the barbeque was under the care of all three of Kronos’ daughters, along with some other snacks while they shared each other’s stories. Some of the minor gods were here too, like Hebe cheering on her siblings in the volley ball game and Iris walking around with a drink in her hand.

As you can see, things were surprisingly peaceful, well, at least for now.

It just so happened that eventually Zeus was sick of his brother’s bullshit and decided to try to find something else to do that would hopefully be more advantageous for him fair for the both of them. When they got back on land, the god’s eyes shifted towards the volleyball resting on the sand. It seems that his kids were on a break.

“Okay, how about we have… a volleyball game?”

“Just us? Ehhhh, how about we add some more? Maybe… two each?”

“Oh, gladly. Apollo! Athena!”

He got a single, unanimous response. “NO.”

“…I’ll give both of you a day off each?”

“…”

“A week off-”

And just like that, they were now standing beside him on one side of the volleyball court. (Ignore the complaints of Persephone about her damaged sand castle and Hermes’ faint grumbles of wanting that week off too.)

Now it was Poseidon’s turn, but before he even spoke, Artemis and Ares eagerly volunteered.

Hermes’ frown turned into a curious grin. “Oh-” “Ohhhh… Oh, this is gonna be fun.” He disappeared for a minute before coming back with a camera around his neck. Hestia, on the other hand, was already trying to convince all the mortals in the beach to evacuate and go home early. In other words, most of them were anticipating the worse, but how bad could it possibly be?

Well, only one way to find out. Time to spin the wheel and roll the dice.

Before anything else though, Athena got Zeus and Poseidon to swear on the river Styx not to use their elemental prowess during the game.

The first round started out fine. Zeus served, and Poseidon managed to send it back, which was then countered by Athena, then Ares, then Athena again, then Artemis, then Apollo… It was actually kinda fun to watch with how fast the ball was moving. It ended with a point going to Poseidon’s side, with the ball also hitting Apollo’s leg, causing him to trip.

“Oops, my bad.” Artemis apologized, without much remorse, while going to get the ball.

The god glared and got up, dusting the sand off. Later, in the second round, Apollo did a spike that definitely wasn’t supposed to be an act of revenge that somehow hit Ares square in the chest instead, making him fall back-first on the sand.

“Oh shit-” “That wasn’t on purpose I swear-” He stopped when the war god sent the ball hurling right back at him, but luckily he moved out of the way at the last second. Unfortunately, that meant that the ball ended up wrecking the barbeque.

Before anyone else could react, Hera grabbed it and spiked it back, hitting Zeus on the head so hard he actually ended up falling on the net, breaking it. “ACH-” “HEY! Why me? What did I do?!”

“Well shit.” Athena glanced at her father. “I suppose that ends the game.”

“Wait, I have an idea…” Poseidon picked up the volleyball. “Let’s play something else instead.”

“That is..?”

“Well… Anyone up for some dodge ball!?” He threw it at Athena, who just side-stepped out of the way, causing it to hit Hermes on the face and crush the camera he was holding.

“Hermes!” Apollo immediately rushed over, one of the few times he genuinely sounded concerned in this entire mess, and scooped him up to go where Dio and Heph are while the messenger whined about all the lost footage.

Meanwhile, Zeus had already stood up, holding the ball. “Oh if it’s a fight you want, it’s a fight you’ll get!” He launched it towards Ares, who summoned his shield at just the right moment, making the ball bounce off, and it would’ve hit an unsuspecting Apollo if Artemis hadn’t pulled out her bow. Instead, her golden arrow had unintentionally guided the ball to create a giant crater in what was supposed to be Persephone’s newly fixed sand castle.

“OH, COME ON!”

Aphrodite patted her on the back as Hephaestus walked over to offer his help in rebuilding it, again.

Demeter frowned and sighed. “Okay, that’s enough please!-” “Ah!” Someone had thrown the volleyball, hitting her left hand and landing on a plate of spaghetti. She looked at the direction of where it came from, glaring at Hades, but the god of the underworld looked just as shocked as she was.

“Wha-” “Hey look, I know what it looks like and why you might think that I did it but I did NOT-” He got cut off by a wave of sand and a few stray drops of tomato sauce and pasta getting into both his robes and his hair. Demeter didn’t throw it, she kicked it over. The god looked horrified as there was a faint echo of laughter and glared back at the grain goddess.

Persephone felt bad because she saw that it was Eris who did it this time, but even she had to suppress a small giggle. “You know, literal centuries have passed. When will you two ever make up? Or, no maybe not that but at least, like, leave each other alone?”

“Huh?” Dionysus blinked. “Wait I heard something something make out-”

Hermes burst out laughing while Apollo face palmed and Persephone gagged. Fortunately for Demeter, she hadn’t heard what the wine god said, but Hades did and he looked like he wanted to vomit. He kicked the ball, but instead of hitting Dio, it landed right on Hermes’ face again, and the two brothers next to him almost swore as loud as he did with the sudden rush of sand. Apollo coughed a little, before turning to Hermes.

“Hey, you okay?”

“Ugh, ya think?” He held a hand over his face. “I think… I think I broke my nose again.”

Apollo moved Hermes’ hand away, examining his face, and just did what he did before; that is, give him a small peck on the nose because apparently that works.

A few moments passed before Dionysus cleared his throat. “You know, I can go rent a room if you’re going to keep on staring at each other like that.”

The messenger blushed while the blonde just ignored him, glancing around like he was looking for something. “Where’s the ball?”

“Uhhhh, over here.” Dio passes the volleyball to his brother. “Why?”

Apollo stared at it for a second, at which the ball suddenly burst into flames. Speaking of the ball, the only reason it’s still intact at this point is because Hephaestus made it specifically to withstand the strength of all the gods.

“Um… bro?” The messenger nervously eyed the miniature sun. “What’re you doing?”

“Something I should’ve tried a long time ago.” And with that he tossed the ball. It was quite the impressive throw really, travelling all the way to the other side of the beach until it ended up hitting Eros’ back with the heat of a G-type main-sequence star. The bastard yelled and quickly ran off into the water or else his wings would start catching fire. Thankfully, to Psyche’s relief, the ball immediately stopped burning the second the deed was done.

There were a few more victims of the deadly volleyball that day as more and more gods used it to ruin someone’s day. Of course, it immediately had to end the second someone accidentally hit Hebe on the shoulder.

Oh well, just another day in being immortal.

#for some reason my laptop wont let me post shit- #goddammit #greek gods #greek mythology #too lazy to just tag all the gods rn so- #the olympians #crack #tumblr why wont you let me post on my laptop #so yeah #that’s why there’s no read more thing #mywritingshit

[bittersweetmelxdy]

Ooo would you mind doing headcanons of the mlqc boys and how they would deal with an mc with an E X T R E M L Y overprotective older brother (totally not self projecting;;)

So you can properly self-project, I made all details of your brother super vague for you, but yeah send all your self-project requests my way I’ll do my best to write for you ;)

Victor:

Meeting your older brother was… interesting to say the least.  

You see Victor had treated this like a business partnership, so when your older brother nearly fought him in the middle of Souvenir, he realised he was a little under prepared.  

Your older brother had taken Victor’s professional tone for arrogance, and he was not handing his sister over to some jerk. (well actually he used much more colourful words but jerk is the nicest way to put it😅).  

After a long explanation from you that ‘Yes Victor is a bit obtuse, but he cares for me in his own way’, your brother agreed to be “civil” with your boyfriend.  

However they do clash constantly, see they’re both protective of you, but it’s two different kinds of protective.  

Read: your brother thinks that if Victor can only protect you with his money he’s not good enough for you.  

Victor is trying his best to get along with your brother, but ever since Victor threatened to take away the investment from your dad’s company, he had a hatred for Victor.  

Has threatened Victor more than once.  

Whenever you go to LFG for anything, your brother drops you off and you have to give him status update texts every hour.  

However your brother does know you’re old enough to make your own decisions, and he is more than happy to let you deal with the consequences of them.  

But if Victor makes you cry, he is not above breaking some bones,  

Eventually what got your brother to at least acknowledge Victor, was when you had to pull an all-nighter to finish a report, your brother had decided to stay in with you so you wouldn’t be the only person in the office, he had just stepped out for a moment to grab you some coffee, and when he came back he was floored.

Victor had somehow entered the office without your brother noticing and he watched as Victor first of all soothed your stress induced breakdown and then he gently coached you in how to fix the report and all the while Victor kept his arm around your shoulder, and when you were finally finished Victor placed a kiss on the crown of your head and smiled warmly at you.

Your brother had never seen the CEO be that gentle (and trust me he interviewed all the employees that interacted with Victor regularly)

Since that day, although your brother was still protective, he didn’t question Victor’s affection for you.

Lucien:

Your brother thought you were insane

‘Y/N he lives next door, and he just “happens” to know where you are at all times, he’s stalking you!”

You assured him he wasn’t, but it’s probably best you don’t tell him about the whole Ares thing.

Your brother wasn’t in the country during the whole Black Swan saga, and you had only communicated with each other via WeChat, so he only knew what he knew from the news and from you personally.

So no, you weren’t going to tell your brother that the man you love once was working with an organisation to kill you a few months ago

What he doesn’t know won’t hurt him, right???

Still even without knowing everything that happened with the BSC, your brother was still so suspicious of Lucien.

Will call you halfway your date just to make sure you’re safe, (brother I love you but please)

Wants Lucien to give him a list of all the places he’ll take you on a date, like with a map.

Whenever you drop off lunch for Lucien at the research centre, your brother drops you off in his car and will wait outside for you the entire time.

Accepts Lucien because one time, while he was out of town for the day, and you fell ill, by the time your brother came home he found that Lucien had taken the day off and spent the whole day looking after you, so when your brother came home to see you being so well looked after, he had to admit he was grateful Lucien was there for you.

Your brother will always be protective of you no matter what, but luckily for you Lucien and him found some common interests so he’ll accept him, for now.

He still thinks he’s suspicious.

Kiro:

The biggest concern your brother had with Kiro was his constancy. He wanted to make sure Kiro wasn’t one of those “I’ve got a girl in every country” type of superstars.  

However Kiro’s Charm Evol really did help him out, he was honest with your brother about his life as a superstar and his feelings with you, only using his Evol to solidify his sincerity to your brother.  

But that isn’t to say it was smooth sailing after that.  

Kiro is a the same age as you, which means your brother doesn’t trust either of you to be responsible.  

Also Kiro has to be away for filming and concerts and no way is your brother going to let you follow Kiro on tour.  

‘MC I’ve seen you get lost from here to the supermarket, and we’ve lived in Loveland City all our lives, no way do I trust you in a foreign country with only Kiro for protection.’

The first time Kiro took you on a trip with him, your brother was so worried about you, made you call time every day and text him whenever you changed location, with a picture of your location and your outfit (just in case he had to provide pictures for a missing person’s report.

Kiro, sunshine puppy that he is, tries not to let your brother’s protectiveness faze him, however he is sad when this interferes with your spontaneous trips.

That isn’t to say that Kiro doesn’t have fun giving your brother and his manager the slip so that the two of you can go on a spontaneous date.

One day you encountered a problem and you missed your dad terribly (“he would’ve known how to fix it” you sobbed to your brother), and there was nothing your brother could do to cheer you up.

Cue the entrance of Superhero Kiro!

Your brother snorted, thinking Kiro would be no help, (What could a privileged superstar possibly do), but to his surprise Kiro didn’t really do anything spectacular, Kiro squished your cheeks (telling you “the Miss Chips I know, can solve any problem others have, but don’t worry Superhero Kiro is here all your problems!”) and then he just cocooned you both in a blanket and held you tightly as you cried out your stress into his chest, whilst he sang softly in your ear.

Your brother had never seen you calm so quickly before, and in that moment, he wondered in Kiro’s Evol really was ‘Charm’ or was it the ability to cheer you up.

Since that day your brother trusts Kiro with your wellbeing, but he’ll still check up on you regularly.

‘Also why does he call you Miss Chips?’ your brother asks constantly to your amusement.

Gavin:

You see with Gavin being a police officer you would think your brother wouldn’t be that suspicious of the love of your life.  

You were wrong

Your brother remembered Gavin from high school, he was in the grade above Gavin’s, so he remembered all the rumours.  

Although you brother may be protective, he’s not reasonable, he knew what rumours were exaggerated and gave Gavin a chance to explain the rumours about him.  

Satisfied his sister wasn’t dating a delinquent, your brother asked about his job and where he lived, whether he had any friends.  

Is Minor his friend or not??? Because Gavin made Minor sound like a puppy that follows him around.

You see I think out of all the boys Gavin would be the least likely to challenge your older brother, because he remembers how protective your brother was of you when you were in high school.  

Your brother actually accepted Gavin quicker than the other boys, because Gavin was so whipped for you, Gavin listened to you and looked after you, protecting you and questioning your judgements, all without smothering you.

In short, your brother could see Gavin was making you a better person, without holding your hand and guiding you there.

Gavin had no problem telling your brother where he was taking you at any point, and had no problem telling your brother about the gingko leaf tracker bracelet.

Your brother was concerned but he knew how much of a mess you were. (thanks bro(!))

Your brother actually walked in on an argument between the two of you, Gavin’s voice was cold and stern and you were just short of yelling. Just as he was about to step in to separate the two of you, he watched Gavin pulled you into his chest and his arms locked around your squirming figure.

“I’m not telling you not to do your job, just call me before you do something reckless.”

Your brother smiled softly, thinking to himself ‘Dad would’ve loved to meet him.’

However, he’ll keep that thought to himself for now, he was getting a real kick out of giving Gavin a hard time.

#mlqc #mlqc victor #mlqc lucien #mlqc kiro #mlqc gavin #mr love queen's choice #love and producer

[arofili]

for the character ask meme: sauron?? >:3c

How I feel about this character: evil twink. terrible. i love him. for real tho i think fandom has woobified sauron to angband and back, and while i get people who are frustrated by us forgetting he’s a villain....like....he’s just so FUN, you know? he’s done so many things, he’s so complicated, why wouldn’t you want to play with what’s going on in his head? i know i do! there are days i want to just sit down and rewrite the entire legendarium from sauron’s POV, because he was there for all of it, causing trouble the whole time. my version of sauron is Evil And Loving It almost the whole way through - but he did it out of love, for melkor at first and then for himself, and while that’s no excuse for evil it’s a fascinating motivation.

All the people I ship romantically with this character: i mean, melkor, obvs. angbang’s probably the second biggest ship in the fandom after russingon, and it’s a GOOD ship. my particular flavor of angbang isn’t the abusive/controlling melkor kind, i like it when it’s reciprocated and sincere - though there’s still absolutely room for evil and possessiveness. idk, healthy(ish) angbang is just more interesting to me? like there’s gonna be a power dynamic there, but i’m so much more interested in mairon having almost equal footing in his relationship than him being some pawn of melkor - i think that makes the times where he has the harsh realization that he’s not equal, just almost equal, even more impactful. like, he can tell melkor “no” and melkor will listen - except when he doesnt. idk, i like that more than him being afraid of saying no at all. (though i certainly do enjoy other versions of angbang! this is just my favorite) Like, i think Sauron carries his love for Melkor through everything he does after the first age. At first he’s doing it all for Melkor, thinking about when he breaks his master out of the void, and then slowly starts to realize that wait, that might not happen. but he keeps going anyway, with melkor as his grounding for what he’s doing, as he becomes more invested in his own future.

THAT BEING SAID i also love silvergifting because im PREDICTABLE. again, my flavor of sauron is one that’s in love with melkor first and foremost and always intentionally planning to fuck celebrimbor over, but the trope of sauron being like “i’ll seduce Tyelpe into evil, it worked when Melkor did it to me” “didn’t Melkor fall in love with you though?” “SHUT UP” becomes Annatar in a way that he almost forgets who he used to be, which is also interesting, but i’m the kinda person who wants Sauron always consciously aware of every thing he does to Tyelpe-  I want him feeling guilty about it by the end, but, importantly, doing it anyway.

[cw rape] Sauron/Maedhros is also really fascinating to me, especially since it’s (almost) always nonconsensual... it’s a good reminder that sauron is at the end of everything evil and practically irredeemable. and i’m more interested in mae’s feelings on this ship than i am sauron’s, considering sauron is abusing him because melkor wants him to (and he probably wants to toy with maedhros too) and isn’t particularly apologetic about it. ALTHOUGH. sauron maybe fucking with Maedhros to the extent of actually pretending he cares, that he’s genuinely here for Mae - that is also some really fucked up interesting shit especially as foreshadowing for Silvergifting.... [that being said! i linked a fic up there that has consensual sauron/maedhros and oohhh boy is it good! heed the warnings, and it’s a modern AU ft. abusive!melkor, but definitely check it out if you’re interested in these two!]

I can get down on other Sauron ships (like him and the Nazgul, him and Ar-Pharazon) but most of those are Sauron playing a game of chess - but, critically, not making the same mistakes he made with Tyelpe. he keeps himself detached and distant, not actually falling in love.

My non-romantic OTP for this character: Eonwe!! I looooove headcanons about him and Eonwe having been bros in the past! makes everything at the end of the war of wrath so much more tragic :)

Sauron and Aule are also great, I think Aule was fatherly toward him and heartbroken to lose him. Which leads me to: Sauron and Curumo/Saruman, considering they were both disciples of Aule - and perhaps Curumo tried to replace Mairon after everything went down, but never quite could... Them having been friends puts their collaboration in LOTR into a different perspective, too. it’s sooo juicy to think of Saruman coming to Middle-earth determined to be Better than Sauron was, to prove to Aule that he’s the superior Maia, maybe even hoping that he can convince Sauron to repent...and then falling into the same trap of evil, being outsmarted by the friend he always wanted to impress, being cast aside and defeated. 

AND i’ll also throw in that he and Thuringwethil were definitely best buds in Angband, sorry I don’t make the rules. she’s an exasperated lesbian vampire who has to put up with his disaster gay stunts all the time, less of his lieutenant and more of the friend who tries to keep him out of trouble!

My unpopular opinion about this character: idk, he’s evil? like unrepentantly evil. we woobify him, and i’ve done a lot of that in this post already, but it’s worth really making it clear that he IS very evil. [cw rape] and i definitely think he raped maedhros, and probably tyelpe and a lot of other people too. which is just awful awful awful no matter what way you slice it. so like yeah, i feel for the dude, and it’s hard for me to wrestle with how fun and sexy i think sauron is but at the same time be a huge maedhros stan. it’s strange how we as fandom can excuse murder and war crimes and torture and shit but we draw the line at sexual abuse (which!!!! is bad and shouldn't be excused!!!). like all of the other things are horrifying and terrible and aren’t condoned irl, but in fiction i guess it’s like “meh, violence is fine, i stan a villain” but then this other violent thing is Not Remotely Ok because it’s also sexual. (again!!! not saying that we should be ok with sexual violence!!!!! more like...questioning why we’re ok with other kinds of violence, why sexual things in any form is more taboo. tho im saying this as a person who enjoys a good gory fic, so. yeah. im ramlbling at this point)

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon: frankly i dont KNOW, he did SO MUCH in canon already?? i want a more fleshed out, detailed version of everything he did (remember when i said i daydream about rewriting the legendarium from his POV??) but i think events wise he’s done EVERYTHING he could do lmao.

#silmarillion #sauron #mairon #cw rape #rape cw #tw for ts #long post #ask games #my meta #tefain nin #(these ARE metas after all i should tag them as such...) #anyway THANK YOU ANON for asking this i definitely Went Off!!! #anon #answers #silm meta

[queerbutstillhere]

Hi how are you? Yo remember that Jercy fluff piece with them realizing they’re gay for each other and both going ‘oh’. If you are up to it please make a part 2 it was so cute and I want them to like confess or something I stg you are such a good writer and your stuff is so cute thankssssa ❤️❤️🥰🥰

HI! Thanks for Asking!!! I’ve been wanting to write a part two to this for a while!!!! Click the link just below for part one!

Part One!

It had been two weeks since their sleep over.

Neither one had addressed anything, but the sad pining from across the dining pavilion and the mildly sexual sparing fights and the constant flirting was driving their friends insane.

(So insane that they had literally made a bet on when the two were going to get together. Nico and Annabeth said it wouldn't be until the last day of summer camp, while Will and Grover insisted it'd be within the first few weeks.)

The truth of the matter was neither one of them had any idea how to handle this. 

Sure they had both been in relationships, but that was with girls, plus what if the other one didn't feel the same? Coming out to themselves had been a whole thing on its own, let alone coming out to their friends. Percy had told Annabeth first, and she just smiled and ruffled his hair. Meanwhile Jason nearly had a breakdown, bursting in on Will and Nico(who had been trying to have a nice evening in) and just ranted to them for nearly twenty minutes. They had heard so much about how hot Percy was in those twenty minutes. Nico had responded bluntly with "then go fucking kiss him, you dumbass".

"But what if he hates me after!" Jason had cried, truly distraught.

"He's not going to, trust us, Jason," Will had assured him.

Jason had promptly ignored their advice and returned to wallowing in self misery and hopeless pining. If only he had known it wasn't hopeless.

Percy, on the other hand, was accepting this rather gracefully. He wasn't terribly surprised he was bisexual, or pansexual, whatever. He'd spent enough time in Camp Jupiter, working out with hot Romans to have begun to realize that he wasn't just attracted to women. The problem was that he was hardcore crushing on his best friend. The boyscout, Jason Grace. Who was probably straight.

Why was his life a constant wheel of disappointment?

So, with the two idiots hopelessly in love and hopelessly dancing around each other, their friends abandoned the bet and decided to start playing matchmaker. Their rules were simple, however. They would not outright tell one that the other was crushing, because it was Percy and Jason's job to come out to the other. Even if it was so painful to watch.

There were so many times when they had arranged a group hangout, and then everyone else bailed fairly early, in the hopes that they would get talking and confess. But alas. It had yet to happen, and they were nearing mid July.

The turning point came when a group of them were hanging out around a campfire, late at night, and Percy, having forgotten that he hadn't told everyone, just spoke without thinking.

"I'm thinking about coming out to my mom."

There was a brief pause of silence before Will spoke.

"Yeah? How do you think she'll react?"

"Dunno, I think she'll be okay?" Percy said, glancing up from his intense staring into the fire, and then looking over at Jason.

Jason's blue eyes were the size of the full moon behind him, his mouth hanging open.

"What?" Percy asked with a laugh, and then it hit him.

Jason didn't know.

"Oh," he said softly. "Yeah I'm . . . Bi or something."

"O-oh," Jason squeaked out, voice cracking uncharacteristically. "Cool."

Nico suddenly burst out in laughter, immediately getting yelled at by Will and Katie Gardner. Percy frowned at them, before glancing at Jason, nervousness filling him. What was Jason thinking? He was chill with Nico and Will, surely he'd be okay with Percy being Bi?

Surely.

Jason was freaking out. Very silently. He did know how to keep his chill. But he was struggling. Because his brain was a screaming mess of "oh my gods he's bi. Oh my gods I might actually have a chance with him. Oh my gods-". Listen, he's just a chaotic, messy disaster bisexual, he doesn't know how to do these things.

It took nearly two days for him to bring it up, and even then it was just to Nico at breakfast.

"How long have you guys known he was bi?" Jason asked softly.

Today Nico was sitting with him. Will had pulled a late night at the infirmary and was still asleep, so Nico had no reason to sit with the Apollo cabin. The big three kids usually sat together, but Percy had gone home for the weekend, so it was just Jason and Nico sitting at what would have been the Cabin 1 table, but had just become the joint table.

"For like, weeks."

"Why didn't you tell me!"

Nico shrugged, pushing around his eggs on his plate. "Wasn't my place? You remember when Eros outed me?"

"Oh, right. Shit. . . "

Another shrug from the younger teen. They sat in silence.

"Are you gonna tell him?"

"What!" Jason asked, glancing up at Nico, who was now done with his eggs.

"Percy? Are you gonna tell him you're not straight?"

"I dunno. I dunno what I am."

Nico frowned, reaching to steal Jason's bacon. Jason didn't complain.

"What do you mean."

"It's like…. It's hard to explain. Like." Jason sighed, turning to face Nico. "Katie is really pretty, right?"

Nico turned to look at their friend, shrugging lightly. "Yeah."

"But I'm not like… attracted to her, or really, any woman? And when I realized I thought, oh, maybe I'm gay, but like. Malcom is really handsome. And I'm not attracted to him either."

Nico's gaze swung to the co-counselor of the Athena cabin. Then he looked back to Jason, frowning lightly.

"So then I was thinking, maybe I'm ace?" Jason continued, rambling now, more than anything. "But bro, Percy is hot as hell, and I'm incredibly attracted to him. So I'm just confused."

Nico was silent, staring down at the table.

"Demisexual?" He said randomly.

"What? What's that?"

"It just. . . Demisexual's don't really experience sexual attraction unless they have a strong emotional bond with someone. It's kinda what you just described to me."

Jason stared at him with wide eyes."Holy shit."

Nico smirked slightly, collecting his dishes and standing. "I gotta go get Will, but feel free to come chat during lunch."

"Yeah," Jason murmured, staring at the table and Nico walked away.

Mind blown.

By the time Percy got back Monday, Jason was mostly through his crisis. He had spent most of his free time Sunday researching sexualities and mostly demisexual. He felt that Nico had been right. 

Percy came jogging over after his return Monday afternoon. Jason was in the middle of sparring with a kid from the Ares cabin when Percy called him over.

"Hold on," Jason told his opponent as he stepped back. 

He still fought with the Roman style, and it drove the Greeks insane, Percy most especially.

"Yeah, sure," the younger camper said with an amused smirk.

Jason turned away and walked over to Percy. He was wearing an orange t-shirt and what looked like boardshorts, as well as sandals, and a couple bracelets that ran up his forearms. He was grinning, sunglasses pushing his messy black hair up.

"Hey, boy scout," Percy hummed, hands in his pockets.

"Hey, Percy, how was your weekend?" Jason asked, throwing an arm around Percy's shoulders and leaning on him.

Percy groaned dramatically, tilting his head away. "You're gross!" He exclaimed, yet slipped his arm around Jason's stomach, turning and leading him away from the other kids who were sparing in the small arena.

Jason couldn't ignore the flutter in his stomach as Percy's strong arm pulled him in tight against his side.

"My weekend was great. Estelle was so stoked to see me, we went to the park all day Saturday while mom and Paul went out grocery shopping."

"That's great!" Jason exclaimed, thinking faintly that he couldn't wait to see Thalia.

"Yup, and I talked to mom and Paul. . ."

Percy had stopped walking but hadn't let go of Jason yet, swaying them back and forth lightly.

"What about?" Jason asked, eyebrows furrowing as he tried to remember.

Percy looked down at him, looking amused.

"What?" Jason asked with a slight laugh, head tilted to be able to look at Percy comfortably.

"I was coming out to them this weekend?"

Oh gods Jason was an idiot.

"Fuck, I forgot!”

Percy laughed, eyes crinkling slightly. Jason's heart fluttered as his friend grinned down at him.

"Did you have a busy weekend?"

"Uh, a little? Nico and I hung out most of Saturday, Sunday I was in charge of activities."

"Oh yeah? It's good that you and Nico are so close," Percy hummed out.

"Yeah. He's a good kid. Wiser than his age."

"That's for sure."

They looked up at each other in silence for a bit, neither speaking, they were incredibly close, Jason could probably just lean in and kiss him…

Two things happened at once. First, Jason watched Percy's eyes flicker down to his lips, as he licked his own and started to lean in. And then they both heard the explosion from across camp.

"Oh shit," Percy exclaimed, pulling away. 

Annoyed shouting could be heard.

"Harley," they both said at once, then laughed.

"I got it," Percy said, pulling away. "See you 'round!"

Jason watched him jog away and just then processed that Percy had been about to kiss him.

Thursday night at campfire was the next time they were actually anything close to alone. They were sitting together, off to one side, munching on their smores and listening to campfire songs.

"Hey, do you wanna get out of here?"

Jason looked over at Percy, realizing suddenly that Percy was looking at him and not the campfire.

"What?"

"Come on, we're counselor's aren't we? Let's abuse our powers," Percy told him, standing and offering his hand to Jason.

Jason put his clean hand(his other one had marshmallow on it) in Percy's and let himself be pulled up. Percy snagged a bag of marshmallows and led Jason towards the lake.

"Why'd you get the marshmallows?" Jason asked with a laugh as he sat on the dock.

"The nymphs like them."

Percy ripped open the bag and pulled a few out. He held his hand out and a few nymphs popped out of the water, snatching them and then disappearing.

"Huh. . . " Jason said softly, staring at the ripples in the water. Percy kicked off his shoes and then sat next to Jason, dangling his feet into the lake. 

They sat in silence for a while, shoulders just barely brushing, Percy occasionally giving the nymphs more marshmallows, occasionally eating one himself.

"Hey, Percy."

"Yeah?"

"I think. . . " Jason stopped, clearing his throat. He was staring at the water, watching the way it rippled around Percy's ankles. "I think I'm demisexual."

Percy was silent for a bit, then looked over. "Okay. . . Could you explain that to me?"

Jason smiled slightly as they made eye contact, he carefully explained it to Percy, who listened silently, absorbing this information, his feet kicking through the water as he thought.

"Thank you for telling me, Jason," Percy said softly, putting his hand on Jason's thigh. "And I support you completely."

"Thanks," Jason said softly, smiling at Percy.

Percy grinned back, offering him a marshmallow then looking back over the lake. Silence stretched over them, they could faintly hear the campfire songs drifting over.

"Percy?" Jason said softly, trying to get his attention.

"Yeah?"

Percy looked over at him, and Jason leaned in, quickly kissing him. Percy made a slightly surprised noise but was instantly pressing back into him. Jason pulled away first, just far enough that he could look at Percy in the pale moonlight. Percy swallowed, licking his lips before leaning in and kissing Jason again, hand resting on his leg.

"Wow," Jason breathed out.

Percy started laughing, falling back to lay on the dock.

"Hey!" Jason protested, hitting his friend's stomach. 

"I'm sorry! But we kiss and what you have to say is 'neat'?!"

"Shut up! I didn't think you actually liked me back!!!"

Percy just laughed and shook his head, looking up at him.

"Jason, you were literally my gay awakening."

Jason felt his eyes go wide. "Oh-"

Percy grinned at him. "You remember that weekend you spent the night at my house?"

Jason nodded.

"That's when I realized I was attracted to guys, and specifically you."

"Oh. . . " Jason said, yet again.

Percy nudged his hip. "And here I was worrying you did like me like that."

Jason made a noise that can only be typed as 'ajdjshdhs', shaking his head rapidly. "No. You're- you're the first person I've actually felt this way towards in. . . Well a long time."

"Really? Not even Piper?"

Jason shook his head. "That was a weird situation . . ."

Percy shrugged. "Yeah, you're right."

He sat up and turned to face Jason, crossing his legs. Then he laughed again, shaking his head.

“Wow.” He whispered, mocking Jason.

"Shut up!" Jason yelled, lunging and shoving the still laughing Percy off the dock. 

Send me a prompt!

#thanks for the prompt! #thanks for the ask! #send me asks #send me prompts and shiz #send me prompts #prompt ask #asks open #korey answers #queerbutstillhere writes #queerbutstillhere #jercy fluff #jercy #jason grace #percy jackson #percy jackson and the olympians #Heroes of Olympus #coming out #pining