#anyway my point is that i would love to just bully the new design but the internet takes it too seriously and now i feel bad about it

[a1bx]

A "What If Uzi Died Instead of Nori" Fanfiction

This a first final draft of the opening scene of a new fanfic to post on AO3. I don't expect this to garner much attention in tumblr, but if you see this, please give comments and critiques! I feel like the ending was a little bit weak, and I have no beta readers...

---

"Mom! Check this out!"

Nori slowly turned from her desk to see Uzi hopping around proudly, holding a gun-looking thing in her hands. Nori sighed internally. That thing was the likely culprit to Nori's charge deprivation; That loud welding noise last night was constantly pulling her off sleep mode. And it was probably a new invention of Uzi's that Nori most definitely doesn't approve of...

She shook it off and smiled. If it would make her daughter happy, then she would entertain the idea of what kind of weapon her little girl had come up with this time.

"What have you got there?"

"My latest weapon!" Uzi began to wave the gun around, pretending like it was some sort of sword. 

“This cool-as-heck railgun!”

Nori stifled a yelp as the barrel whizzed past her head several times. She kept her smile though. The last thing she wanted was for her daughter to stop sharing these things with her. 

She loved seeing Uzi be with her…

But she was still quite uneasy about it! It's not every day your child makes something this... dangerous. Her eyes twitched a little when the barrel approached her again. Nori noted to herself to let Khan show Uzi some gun safety sometime soon, or at least how to keep the barrel pointed away from anyone.

Uzi smiled proudly back at her mom. "Pretty awesome, huh?"

"Sure, Uzi..." Nori reached forward, carefully pushing the barrel down so it wasn't pointed at her face. "Just... Please, try not to point that in anyone's direction, okay?"

Uzi stared blankly.

"Oh right... sorry, Mom." She said, tittering. "I forgot, heh heh..." Uzi set the railgun down on her desk carefully.

"Well... what do you think?"

Nori leaned forwards to inspect it a little. She didn't want to encourage the thought, but... "I can really tell how much thought you've put into making it a lightweight. The design itself is very sleek..." Nori did genuinely admire the craftsmanship. Khan really has been rubbing off on her daughter, hasn't he? She chuckled a little. 

"Although I am surprised you made it violet... and with stickers?"

Uzi crossed her arms and huffed. 

"Hey, I think it looks cooler that way! Don't ruin it for me!"

Nori shook her head, cupping a hand over her mouth and chuckling into her palm. "Well, I wasn't implying anything!"

"You're literally laughing at me!"

"No, I'm not."

"Yes, you are!"

"So, what if I am?” Nori gave her daughter a playful smack. Uzi stumbled theatrically as a response, before retaliating with an onslaught of light jabs aimed at her mother. Nori held up her arms in defence, laughing softly.

“As your mom, it's my job to bully you for impractical aesthetics!"

"Bite me!" Uzi exclaimed, now giggling. "As your daughter, it's my job to make fun of you for being lame!”

Nori gasped in mock horror. "How dare you?!" She grabbed her daughter by the shoulders, and Uzi squirmed in response, still laughing. "That's it, you're grounded!"

"What?! No!" Uzi cried out, trying to worm out of her mother's grasp. "This is injustice! I didn't do anything wrong!"

"Really? Did you do your homework?"

There was an awkward silence before Uzi’s eyes hollowed, displaying underlines.

"Ah! There it is!" Nori laughed, pointing a metal finger at the lines. "The proof I need!"

“Mom!! That’s cheating!”

Nori laughed again. Uzi was smart, but could never outwit her mom. Well, not yet, anyway. She awaits the day her little genius finally pulls one over on her… but in the meantime, Nori couldn't help but have a little fun with this.

"Yep, it's true. You are grounded. That's also for making me stay up all night with all those sounds, you little gremlin."

Uzi grunted. "In my defence, I was working on something awesome!"

Nori rolled her eyes, playfully pushing her daughter away. It was times like this Nori wished she had a popcorn bucket. These kinds of shenanigans with Uzi were more entertaining than old human movies… and the "definitely-not-pirated” anime Uzi always wanted her to watch? Speaking of, she should really introduce Uzi to some new stuff.

"Well, I hope it's worth giving your poor mother a sleepless night."

"Sorry... But hey, I promise it's good." Uzi picked up her railgun and smiled. "It's going to blast some murder drones' heads off."

Nori chuckled, but it lacked warmth. She still has to care for the safety of her daughter. Just imagining the thought of her little girl facing a murder drone made her—

"Don’t go, please...”

Those words came so suddenly. Too suddenly.

Nori’s eyes hollowed. Something was crawling up the back of Nori's processor. An awful feeling, weighing down on her entire being as she blanked out for a moment. She couldn’t let the cracks show through though, even if just a little bit. 

Her teeth clenched, and Nori swallowed hard. She forced that feeling down.

Uzi maintained her grin.

“Go where?" Uzi asked. "Oh…! Outside? I mean… Yeah. I'm definitely planning to take this bad boy outside once it is fully done, but—”

Nori flinched.

"I SAID DON'T GO THERE!"

There was a clattering sound that caused Nori to blink. Her eyes glanced down to see her hands grabbing onto Uzi’s wrists tightly, with the railgun now discarded on the floor.

A few moments passed before Nori looked up to see Uzi staring right at her.

For the first time in a while, fear was etched into her little girl’s face.

“...M-mom?”

Stop ruining everything.

Nori let go of her daughter's wrist immediately.

Uzi clutched her wrist, looking down at it while rubbing it gently.

No... She promised would not lose control again. She could not bear to hurt anyone again, especially not her own daughter. Uzi did not do anything wrong. Uzi was only being herself. 

And this was just supposed to be some fun teasing.

"Did you not like what I said…?" Uzi looked up, her eyes void of their usual cheerful light. Her tone of voice seemed too frightened to hide its waver, almost sounding like she was about to cry.

A painful static suddenly blared inside her. 

Nori stumbled back, grabbing her head.

A good mother wouldn't do this to their own child.

"Mom!"

Nori's optics widened as she saw her daughter scramble to take hold of her.

"Are you okay?!" Uzi asked.

Nori is okay. Nori will always be okay when Uzi is around.

"I... I... " Nori stammered, “I’m so sorry, Uzi.”

Nori hugged Uzi. Uzi did not reply, but Nori had her daughter with her. Nori wasn't alone. Everything was okay as long as Uzi was here. Nori wouldn't lose her, right? Uzi was her everything, her reason to live for, her ray of hope when everything turns dark. It would destroy her if she could never see those sweet purple eyes again.

In her presence, Uzi will always be safe.

A smile formed as Nori looked up to her daughter’s face again. 

Her visor was completely shattered on the right.

On the left, her remaining purple eyelight flickered weakly.

Everything will be okay…

"Uzi…" Nori smiled, “We can still fix this..."

She pushed the shattered glass away with her foot.

Nori was still okay…

Her eyelight darted around.

"M-mom… What is happening?"

Uzi was still there…

Nori held her tight. "I... I don't know, but we'll be okay."

Uzi's head fell forward, hitting her shoulder.

Uzi…

“Mom… Why…”

Uzi looked up at Nori, before her light flickered out.

Uzi... it still hurts.

"Why did you kill me, Nori?"

#murder drones #uzi doorman #nori doorman #fanfic #alternate universe #au

[fox-graves]

A very special throwback Thursday! Again! This time a walk through Asim’s character design and how it changed over time and my journey through colorizing traditional pencil drawings. Breakdown under the readmore.

(note: when I say “my DM”, he is also my partner who I have been building a DnD setting with, I wasn’t bullying a random DM into what I wanted, I was working with my partner to build a new setting while he was really stuck in Standard DnD and was letting that inform pretty much all the worldbuilding decisions.) 2017: The first color picture of Asim, and an attempt to colorize a messy pen sketch that I had been close to giving up on. The filter modes I used on the inking made the shadows harsh and dramatic, and while good for the piece, did not give me much control over the color. He was a basic drow with a color scheme picked out by my DM - my DM also insisted on shorter elf ears that didn’t emote and an overall human-like appearance aside from skintone.

2018: The DM had noted in an expression sheet I had distinctly drawn Asim’s canines - he said it made him look part orc but it was really just a stylistic choice I was playing around with. I leaned into it and suggested his father was half orc for a chance to give him more monstery traits and made his tusks a bit more prominent. I also used large emotive elf ears in the sheet to show the DM how it was a fun trait to allow. He agreed. I did some semi clean line art of a new expression sheet and experimented with coloring that. the line art gave me a lot more control with coloring, but I wasn’t entirely happy with it. The DM had given me a halfmask/eyepatch with a design I wasn’t too keen on but used it in the design anyway.

2019: Fully leaning into his orcish heritage, Asim as his stage persona Balam Yunuen. It was a expression sketch that got out of hand and I ended up fully shading it in pencil I loved it so much. Some more playing around with filters, having remembered a tutorial I saw on digital artists tinting their lineart, and I hit gold. My painting skills were still a little shaky but I learned a lot and he gained +1 Iridescent Skin.

2019 part 2: Another 2019 because I learned a lot that year and his design gained another tweak - a small snout and hints at the animal-like nose he would soon have. I found my stride with shading hair and have been going ham on it ever since.

2021: His sideburns! His finalized snoot! His resting crooked ears! Redesigning his eyepatch because dammit it’s my character he’ll look how I want him to look! At this point I had really settled into my style of colorizing my pencil drawings.

2022: Return of the chin tattoo! Redesigned and simplified into a sun-eye motif. Playing around with his cultural braid, the Makhiorya, a braid that you put beads on for everyone you invite into your family. Magical neck scar where his neck was torn out! I was beyond settled in my colorizing, I was getting bold with colors and lighting, constantly trying new things and learning from it. 2023:???? my kofi supporters are in the know on what’s coming ;) Comms | Shop | Tips

#dnd art #dungeons and dragons #drow art #drow #half drow #half orc #dnd #dark elf #half elf #dnd paladin #monster art #monster boy #dnd character #dnd character art #throwback thursday #art throwback thursday #fantasy art

[ithinkdogshouldvote2]

Hey, just wanted to say that I thought you handled the whole Terry Jr being black post very well and very civilly. Even while faced with backlash about your design, you responded politely and respectfully.

I also didn't know it was confirmed on the aftershow that Terry and Samantha are black, not having access to the patreon, though I happened to headcanon them as black beforehand anyway. Personally, I think it's unfair to expect someone to know what has or hasn't been confirmed by the creators when the information is behind a paywall.

Also, there's nothing wrong with having different ideas than what "the fandom has decided". The whole point of fandom and diversity means people interpret things differently. While I understand how your designs along with the character's individual stories could be easily misconstrued, and that should definitely be taken into account, you haven't done anything wrong by interpreting a character a certain way, especially when they barely have any confirmed physical appearance on the show itself.

You said you're working on a redesign for Terry, but you shouldn't have been bullied into it. I understand that the original post was mostly a vent about personal experiences and feelings, and that's valid. There was probably a more respectful way to handle to situation though.

To end this tirade, let me just say that I think your artstyle is adorable

Thank you, that's honestly very gratifying to hear. The whole situation was unfortunately pretty stressful, maybe just because I'm a very anxious person, but it was really eating away at me.

I said this before in the post, but my first experience with a podcast was the adventure zone where designs were fully up to interpretation, so it was maybe my bad coming into dndads with that attitude. I've seen fanart of pretty much all the character in all different races, including Terry jr as white, so I kinda just took that as confirmation that this was the case.

The thing is with the patreon paywall is that I AM a patron, so I would totally be able to look up the talking dads episode if someone directed me to it, but no one has yet. and the op never responded to my request for it. Even though I will be changing Terry's design regardless, I would still like to see what Anthony said since I've never seen someone say it was confirmed before.

I also fully agree about not loving the whole "the Fandom has decided" thing. There will always be exceptions to the rule. I've seen plenty of people draw the characters in plenty of ways and that, to me, the fun part of podcasts. That there is no ONE design. And mine was just an ingredient in the pot of the Fandom. People who don't draw and just enjoy fanart have the ability to basically shop for what designs they like best. They can choose one person's Lark and Sparrow designs, and another person's nick design. It was maybe small minded of me to assume that people would just keep scrolling if they didn't like my designs. The op called me a popular artist in the post and I've never been a popular artist before, so it's also possible that my work might me kinda hard to avoid if it's near the top of searches. Especially with how much I DO draw Terry and with the unintended message of "good dad = white guy" which was obviously never something I was trying to convey.

In regards to changing my terry, I do have to admit that I am sad to see the old design go, and I don't feel awesome about how we got here, but I do really like the new design and hopefully you guys do too. I didn't change too much since I still like alot about the old design and changing how i see him in my head isnt gonna be a fully new design, just necessary tweaks on the template, but it'll hopefully be a good change.

I never imagined I'd be at the center of something like this, and it really didn't feel great, haha. Especially when looking at the comments on that post of people saying they've been avoiding my art because it makes them uncomfortable, something I NEVER wanted to happen. I just really hope I can turn it around and the people who avoided me before will understand that I really didn't mean any harm.

But genuinely thank you for this, sorry I'm kinda just using it to get out the rest of my feelings regarding the situation before moving past it. It feels a bit better to know that people like you had similar feelings to the situation as I did as the whole thing felt a bit isolating. Obviously it was probably also stressful for the op so I don't want to insinuate that I'm the only one who was affected by this whole thing. I'm really thankful for the support. Or at least the reassurance haha

And thank you for saying my artstyle is cute! Honestly with all the crazy talented people in the dndads community I'm really thankful to have gotten the following and attention that I have. Despite this experience, maybe not leaving the greatest impression, this fan base is one of the most kind and supportive communities I've been in. =]

#txt post #not tagging this with the fandom tags because the wider communinty does NOT want to read the essay i just basically wrote

[andromebaa]

Despair’s Legacy

A Danganronpa AU

Part 2 - The Legacy Students Here are the first half of the Legacy students!

Sid & Joey

The silly guys! Sid and Joey are the oldest kids? (I think I made them like 19 initially but I'm still calling them kids I don't care) out of the Legacy Students. Thought it would be fun to have twin characters because as we all know twins are not at all significant to the plot of DR I only had to make one sprite yey. Their main personality trait as a pair is the pretty stereotypical wacky, prank-pulling twins. Sid's technically the older twin and is a bit more aggressive and weirder. Joey is more charismatic and friendly. They dress and act the same in public-facing situations for shits and gigs but they do have distinctly different personalities. I'm not sure I'm like, entirely happy with how I initially characterised them. They just felt too similar to Leon at some points but eh. Had a mini freak out because I wasn't sure if wacky coloured hair is like....genetic in the DR universe?! Whatever.

Daiya

Oh Daiya. Daiya, Daiya, Daiya. She was the first OC I created for this thing and the one who I spent the most time on. I thought it'd be cute if Taka's daughter took one look at Mondo and was like you are my entire personality now. He's definitely a father figure to her (Ishimondo was end game in this AU btw, also on that note any father/mother pairings in this AU do not equal couples or anything. That was all done out of fulfilling the contracts. Half of them are gay/queer in some way I promise) Anyway, I always kind of pictured her as a rebel - as much as she could be in such an intimate place. Getting answers wrong in class on purpose, and hanging out in areas she's not supposed to be in. A big part of the plot of the AU hinges on her creating a club with the sole intent of escaping the school. Her dream is to travel across the land Mad Max style. Daiya ended up being the more or less 'antagonist' archetype for this AU. I still kind of flip-flop between giving her delinquent and queen bee bully personality. The twins are her lackeys.

Ren

Sad girl hours time! Ren is a jumpy, skittery mess. She knows her existence was a mistake, so she spends her time desperately trying to make up for it.

She loves being around children and is the designated babysitter for the younger Legacy Students. When she's not being mercilessly bullied by Daiya or alienating herself from others, she also likes to make toys. Another really big aspect of this AU is that Toko voluntarily locks herself away (to protect the others from Genocider), so Ren takes it upon herself to act as her caretaker. I'm still kind of working out what her relationship with Byakuya is. I definitely made it more fractured in the original concept, but I don't think he would be that cold to his own child.

Kaito

Hi I am very unhealthy about Kaito he is my favourite. Before you ask, I made him before V3 came out and I absolutely refuse to change his name even though it makes everything I write really confusing (I think he'd get along really well with V3 Kaito though) He's my favourite attempt at mixing two Danganronpa characters together and creating an amalgamation because he ended up becoming a chill and friendly surfer vibe new age one with the universe bro friend. Also he's a blind seer who kickstarts the AU story with a horrifying vision so that's always fun! He's definitely one of the most complex Legacy students because he has tons of layers to him. Something something happiest people are always y'know - not.

Yukihiko

Ah yes, gotta have the quiet, stoic guy who stands in the corner. Yuki start off a lot meaner/more sarcastic when I first made him but then I was like nah I kinda like making him the guy who says like five words a day and judges you quietly from a distance. I was also going to make him more martial arts focused but I ended up making him more into meditation once I figured out his whole thing, that being he's afraid of his own power so he tries to keep himself in a calm state as much as he can.

and that's all the older kids! If anyone ever wants to discuss them or anything I am always open lmao they've rotted my brain for like 6 - 7 years so I have some weird ass lore for all of them.

Part 1 - - - Part 3

#despair's legacy #danganronpa #danganronpa ocs #oc #au #i am not an artist

[exp123mon]

Digimon Forntier episoe thouhts (I'm not changing those typos lol) probably the penultimate infodump

39 - Is This the Digital World?! Escape from the Moon! -I actually understood the title in Japanese yay (spoken, I didn't recognise one kanji boo lol) -THEY. WENT. TO. THE MOON. Fortunately it's a Digital World moon so it's not completely devoid of heat or air haha. -I was hoping we'd get more Koichi solo time since he was the only one awake at first. -I love Takuya's plan of making everybody fire off their attacks and his idea was just.. oh maybe it would propel us lol omg -THERE ARE BURGERS ON THE MOON OH MY FRIGGIN GOD turns out Burgamon COME FROM the moon like omg they're little burger aliens I love them so much -The Insekimon watching Chakmon struggle to fling himself back to Digi-Earth, too, haha. Yeah let's grab a burger and some shakes. This episode had some much needed chuckles and lightheartedness. -Honestly rocketship scenes are always weirdly nervous to me. My imagination just gets carried away… space is just so big and empty, and you're just. a little meat monkey. I'd be a crap astronaut lol -By the end of the epsiode damn near most of the world is just GONE like what the hell man. Also the Royal Knights wanna go to the human world to RULE it, hmm? I dunno dudes. I feeel like once Lucemon has the Digital World sorted he's the type to go to other worlds and make them his, haha. -I'm only watching like one episode a day at this point. Honestly at this point the show is emotionally exhausting (not in a "it's boring/sucky so I'm tired" way, in a "holy shit much fucked up shit is going on" way haha)

40 - The Chosen Ones!? The Boys Who Control Angemon! -Takeru cameo?!?! haha -New city!! Feels like it's been ages since the gang just went somewhere new haha. Only to be immedaitely accosted by a mugger, BOO -I never realised Sagittarimon has Fladramon and Lighdramon armour. I've never really look too closely at his design though. -HUMANS. HUMAN CHILDREN?!?! So others really did get on the Trailmon back then. -Two are Tomoki's bullies. D: GET 'EM WITH BLIZZARMON BOYO. -I like the touch of Patamon thinking Angemon is cool. I see what you're doing there buddy hehee -Nice to know Angemon was there to actually look after kids once they got to the human world. I guess kids who got on other trains were just screwed though lol -What is WITH these kids though. So arrogant when all they do is hide behind Angemon's back -WAIT WHAT SIX MONTHS?! Six months in the Digital World?! This is the first time we've had a timeframe for how long the kids have been here. Jeeeeez. I mean I imagine thre's still the time difference between this vs the human world. Or maybe there isn't haha (would make for an interesting twist for time to go SLOWER in the Digital World… imagine being gone for six months and you return to the human world and twenty years have gone by or something…. I guess that's kinda just Flight of the Navigator) -ANYWAY I'M RAMBLING. It was cool to see Tomoki's growth culminate in this episode. -bruh the close up shot of Sagittarimon during the big fight and there's just Centarumon falling in the background lol so good -episode ends with the kids split up!! just like the good old days, haha

41 - Don't Let Them Scan! The Beanstalk of Friendship -Gotta say, beanstalks are kind of a downgrade from Crests lol -The Trailmon all show up! But they don't wanna go to the village. Typical trains. -Izumi flirts with Worm… AND IT WORKS?! Bruh trains are weird lol -Mamemon village!! I mean it makes sense. I used to love Mamemon back when I played Digimon World. I love the elder one with the metal plates for eyebrows haha. -Okay I give props to… uh, what's his face, that one bully kid whose name I don't recall (lol) for facing up to the Royal Knights. That's gutsy. -Interesting that the beanstalk protects the data in the area. Wonder if this is gonna tie into the defence against Lucemon or if it's just a one off kinda thing. -The kids try to fix the broken rail, trapping Worm in place. How existentially horrifying it must be to be a train. -"Can humans save the world?" "Only if we work together with Digimon!" yay how it should be otherwise there are unfortunate implications haha -I actually love how the Royal Knights are legit a huge threat?? Especially since this is the run up to the ending. Compare to Grottomon who was the first recurring villain and it's just such a nice way of showing the huge power difference and the level of threat. -That being said can't wait to see them get their faces punched in.

42 - Protect the DigiEggs! The Vanishing Miracle of Life -OMG BABIES BABIES BABIES!!!! -gah I love Swanmon she's so cool! -Don't have to much to say about this ep it was very cute and the digi babies melted my brain AND THEN the amazing moment with babies bubbling the wyvern and the old warriors coming back AAAH. Good stuff good stuff. Just an all round great episode. -Dynasmon just being like "Not leaving empty handed!!" and stealing the literal baby village away though like JUST DIE ALREADY I HATE YOU lol

43 - The Hometown is Destroyed! The Messenger From Hell, SkullSatamon -this episode follows the general formula of recent eps so not much specific to say, but it as nice we got SkullSatamon instead of the Royal Knights so the fight didn't feel as inevitably futile -also SKULLSATAMON WHAT THE HELL dude deep fries some Palmon then just straight up STEPS on Gazimon wtf that's just cruel dude -I liked that the Digimon this ep specifically were like "oh the legendary warriors will do it for us!" then learned to stand up for themselves -the way LordKnightmon swoops in at the end though when the SkullSatamon are defeated and takes the data lol very supervisor/manager behaviour "thanks for the hard work bro yoink" -the ending scene of the sunset and the Digimon being proud of themselves for fighting even though they lost their town and the kids smiling but like the evil sinister music was nicely done; the looming threat just can't be ignored even for a moment -HOW MUCH OF THE DIGITAL WORLD IS LEFT!!

44 - Fight With Me! Gotsumon and Koji's Vow -OMG Gotsumon's back?!?!?! -There's a nice opening scene that pans across an environment where Dynasmon and LordKnightmon steal the data and I just feel like these animation studios could make a bundle if they just made posters/prints/wall scrolls/whatever else of their anime backgrounds because some of them are so friggin gorgeous… especially early 2000s and earlier stuff where it was hand drawn and painted, mmm. -Okay so after I ask how much of the digital world is left, I get my answer: three areas. Ouch. lol good luck kids -Gotsumon fainting at the sight of his vanished homeland is probably the most realistic reaction in an anime ever haha -LordKnightmon unsurprisingly like a real lord dngaf when his underlings fall to their deaths. -There was a line in this episode where Bokomon says (in the subs) "I know the pain of losing your homeland" but I initially misread "homeland" as "husband" lol when did THAT happen?!?! did I miss some episodes?! hahaha -Garmon riding the railway tracks was cool! I wish we got to see that more often -Sorcerymon ;( -OH MY GOOOOOD Gotsumon EVOLVED!! INTO. INESKIMON. omg that was so funny. What's normally this moment of "fighting for my friends, more power to protect" and he just… gets a bit bigger and gets a palette swap lol omg I love this dude -also not a thought I had specific to this episode but I 110% bet people ship Dynasmon and LordKnightmon all the time rofl

45 - Operation Data Disorder! Defend Akiba Market -Open on Sepikmon's boomerang =O He's helping his buddies! -When the Digimon are lining up to evacuate on the Trailmon, there's a Veemon, Hawkmon and Armadimon really close together! -Neemon is a pretty good conductor haha most alert the dude's been all season -It's nice seeing everybody being more proactive!! …unfortunately it will be all for nought no doubt. Love the use of the catapult though. Just because something doesn't do direct damage doesn't mean it doesn't help! -Zanbamon! I know you from DW3! Also Pteranomon is cool, continues Digimon's thing of "what if it were a dino/dragon and also a form of transportation/robot" haha. -Aaah that moment when Dyansmon has KaiserGreymon against the tower and KaiserGreymon's just like "my element's FIRE DUMMY" YEAH GET HIS ASS TAKUYA -wat. IS KOICHI DEAD?! NO BODY ONLY SOUL?! -Dynasmon calls out for help from LordKnightmon after KaiserGreymon pins him. LordKnightmon immediately goes to help. Yeah people definitely ship these two all the time lol -Takuya and Koji are visibly doing better fighting against the Royal Knights. Unfortunately I reckon next episode, the Knights will still get the area's data. And Lucemon will awaken and promptly kill them like they deserve lol

#not art #digimon frontier #frontier watching

[pennycutenice]

Please read the tags for content warnings / trigger warnings. This is gonna be very personal.

So I find myself thinking again and again about what being excessively bullied has done to me on a creative level.

At seven years old I composed music on the pc. The next year I was making what later would be called amvs but with my favourite SpongeBob episodes and, no kidding, medieval folk rock. I would design complicated menus to navigate these works and burn them onto DVD. The year after I was learning piano, drums, and guitar, additionally to my recorder knowledge. I would also further improve my craft in editing videos by doing incredibly unfunny but technically impressive redubs of movies and started writing poems. I also loved knitting and singing my own lyrics to my own instrumentals. And I remember how I created incredibly elaborate marble runs not out of prebuilt parts but creating my own. Finally I was doing combinatorics and stochastics on the side, as a fun project on a math level not even taught at german schools. Doing all this there wasn't much time for consuming stuff like video games but that didn't matter. I had fun. And then I changed schools.

I was proud of what I did and showed it to people. Big mistake. I would be harassed for the next seven years on the daily for even having dared to do creative shit. Name calling, to taking away my shit and seldom even physical abuse. Often my bullies called me the aggressor and they would be believed by the school. Because yes, they could push me to my limit until I went violent. But as a small and weak boy that would only make them laugh more. Creating these situations was then kind of a goal: It was funny for them and speaking of physical violence I was the aggressor. Later I fled school regularly, walking home when it got too bad, got into big trouble for that and got threatened with calling the cops on me. I now know I probably was (and still am) neurodivergent and did not have the social skills to do something about all this. It was hell and I was helpless. Eventually I told myself I deserved it for creating such shameful things. Actually I was pure evil right down to the core and them destroying my life was just the righteous consequence of my misdeeds.

So what do? Well, I stopped. All of it. The single thing that remained was doing let's plays which was kinda acceptable to have as a hobby at the time and isn't really new ammunition to bullies anyway. Also I needed to do something after school since I had no real friends to do stuff with and I was too ashamed of myself to regularly meet with the few sympathetic people. At the time I thought I had some friends, today with true friends on my side I know I really didn't. To this day I struggle with friendships because of this; I simply did not really learn how to do them. I got incredibly lonely (and to this day still kinda am) and they took all the joy out of my creativity. I gained weight and an unhealthy relationship with food. I vividly remember how at one point I realized, I hadn't met or talked to anyone outside of school for a year. To that a coke and some chips, fellas! Asked out some guys to the cinema and they only agreed when I told them I'd pay for everything. I didn't enjoy it at all because I realized I needed to bribe people to spend time with me. Later on I started walking home from school - it was good for my health (and weight) and the lost time wouldn't be missed if you have nothing else to look forward to. Plus it was a good opportunity to get in some secret cry time. That is how I started playing video games - a then very hot new one called "mine craft" for example, maybe you've heard of it.

I developed some internet friendships but none of them would last. Most of them were let's play colleges and stopped interacting with me when I, the person with the most (like two thousand) subscribers, had no project to do with them. Also we were never really close. One I kicked out of my life at about fourteen because I realized an 18 y/o should not send me porn.

All this time school kind of forced me into some creative projects and I would always impress the teachers. There was a mandatory reading competition and I wasn't just the best at school, I was the best in the entire federal state. At that point I dropped out the competition because of sickness but I'm really curious about what could have been. I also was "diagnosed" as gifted because of my impressive mathematical skills and got special education opportunities. My teachers were confused about me choosing creative writing classes, but I excelled at that too and got praised at the final presentation of the entire group for my great understanding of words, wit and sarcasm. Also I was a great presenter. (Sadly the course was too far from my home so I saw none of them again and no friendship of peers could form.)

It was honestly weird. I could not do really creative stuff anymore but any time I had to and it was socially accepted, I was the best at it. Without ever doing it in my spare time I was better at programming than my first computer science teacher within a school year and impressed him by disagreeing with him regularly and being right in the end - good guy for realizing that by the way. But I still did not do anything with my "gifts," I couldn't! The fun I once had was taken from me daily on the schoolyard and classrooms and the closets they'd put me in like movie bullies. Yes, that actually happened once. I honestly confused my teachers. One said, I was by far the smartest and laziest student he ever taught. I also remember getting a pity grade on a great art project I did in class which I was so ashamed of I threw it away shortly before we were supposed to show the results to the teacher.

I tried to start a school newspaper, bought and read a whole book on the matter and in the end failed because I feared telling people about it. The few I trusted and seemed interested did not show up. Later on someone with actual social skills started one and I joined, being a primary author of the whole thing shortly, with video game reviews mainly - there was nothing else in my life left I could talk about.

Later on at the upper levels it got a bit better. People at my level realized they could use my skills for their mandatory projects and therefore open hostility stopped. Passive aggressiveness? Yeah sure. Did the other levels still bully me relentlessly? Of course they did. It once stopped for a while after I just turned around to one of them and decked him so hard he fell over, but in the end life was still hell.

Once my art class convinced my pretty cool teacher to watch some of my very rare non-lp creative projects I uploaded. I honestly could not tell you if they actually liked my stuff or if they wanted to humiliate me. So many people talked to me in this sarcastic or duplicitous tone I simply did not trust anyone to ever honestly praise my work. I left the classroom to shed a tear but at that time I was pretty much numb to all of it. Looking back on it it is really possible quite the share of people came around on me, maybe grew out of childish bullying and genuinely liked me. I couldn't tell you, I didn't really trust people anymore at that point and to this day have troubles doing so.

I got sick more and more often. Very sick. For weeks on end. Sick to the point of eating and drinking hurting. Badly. Sick to the point of losing myself and not really knowing who I really was anymore. It was the only time I was weak enough to cry later on in life. Also hunger does not hurt anymore after two days of not eating so I just stopped to end it all in a very painful way. Sadly, that was my opinion at the time and is not anymore, I always would eventually get better and feel hunger again. But physical pain was good in my mind. It was tangible. I knew why it was there and acute physical pain is usually stronger than chronic mental pain. So I started cutting myself. It is almost funny: I felt like a dramatic high school girl doing it for attention, even though I started wearing long sleeves and told not a single soul. But I liked that feeling. Would I have known what "transgender" means at the time my life could have been very different. It truly was the most fucked up gender euphoria and I didn't even know it was at the time. I was smart enough to not go so deep as to create visible scars and later changed to the thighs like a true pro. This didn't solve any of my problems so I really can't recommend it btw.

Anyway, at that point I had been at least passively suicidal for years and completely burned out of finding my own fun in creative projects. At the end of lessons I turned in "the most impressive" art project my teacher had ever gotten. Because of frequent illnesses it was too late; it wouldn't make an impact on my grade. And then soon after final exams I won my level's "biggest male bitch" award. Fuck you too. I didn't go to prom.

Studying computer science and not being forcefully surrounded by people who hated me was much better. I thought absence of hate would cure my mind in the long run. Nope. I didn't know I needed professional help to get better than a kinda sad kinda normal with monthly breakdowns and constant suicidal ideation. I tried to return to my previous creative output but I just couldn't. The youthful innocence and love of creating gone, everything had baggage now. I continued creating for a very toxic reason: To get approval from strangers on the internet via YouTube videos. I didn't know how else to get someone to like me. Content let me filter myself to be a lovable person and not the truly evil fuck I wrongly believed myself to be. Of course I wasn't a perfect person and I did do things I am not proud of and hurt people, but I wasn't nearly the irredeemable waste I thought.

I created incredible things on a technical level. It got me a contract for german state youth television. I was nominated for an award! (I didn't win it because I didn't upload enough videos. Okay?) But I created to feel loved and to overshadow my self hatred with the praise of strangers online. This runs dry. At some point the praise wasn't enough and I could not create anymore. Then I came out as trans and bi to myself and some close friends which made me find a loving community of cool queer people who actually love me. I even have enough friends to be able to choose to not spend time with someone if they're bad for me. In the end I even received depression medication and hormone replacement therapy! I'm working with a very nice neurologist who's trying to understand me better and believes I'm probably neurodivergent too and is gonna get me a therapist once he understands my needs better. My brain does not torture myself anymore and I'm working hard on breaking some self destructive patterns. I am well, comparatively.

But I haven't truly created in almost two years now. I am ashamed and don't even want to make music or write poems anymore or draw. I have no energy to edit videos. I am embarrassed of my maths and creative code solutions even though I am an A+ student with perfect grades that got a job in teaching and research because of these skills. I didn't even touch on me being a pretty good 2D animator (with given rigs, not really frame by frame)! But I cannot. The most progress I made is that in the last two years I started showing people what music I listen to - something I was especially shamed for in my youth - and with about four people on this planet I'm comfortable enough with to sing along to a song I like.

I feel like I loved creating but it was taken from me. And I don't know how to get it back. Or if I ever will. I will just have to do some healing. Some things are coming back. But I don't know what healing is to be done, how to do it and if I will ever get the opportunity to do so. I would love to be on top of my artistic game again, now that I'm happier personally. I don't know, man.

I see people around me doing amazing shit and I… am also there. Once able to do what they do. Being jealous of their joy of their own creative output and the output itself. The ones just a few years younger grew up with smartphones; having access to an accepting community at pretty much all times. Some just had people in their physical surroundings that liked, supported or even guided their creative endeavors. I do not want to say they had or have it "easy" or even think direct comparisons of suffering will result in anything except animosity. But looking at them now whatever they had could sustain their creative drive.

I didn't and still don't have it. And now that I'm able to be in touch with my emotions due to medication I'm just starting to realize and feel the scope of what I lost over a decade ago.

#cw bullying #cw trauma #cs suicidality #cw grooming mention #cw self harm #cw illness #cw medication #cw depression #trans #transfem #transgender #bisexual #my story #story time #whining a bit about my past #as if that would achieve anything ^^

[multi-lefaiye]

EXPLAIN LORE TO ME I LIKE ANY TYPES OF LORE

LORE LORE LORE LORE LORE - Runic

ALRIGHT HI IT'S TIME FOR ME TO EXPLAIN TO YOU, MY DEAR FRIEND, THE FLIGHT RISING GODS

@astral-runic i hope you're ready for this <3

i'm not gonna explain the lore in-depth because i am BEHIND on it, but i'll explain who the gods are! and also the fun fact that the gods on flight rising have their own accounts and used to interact with players sometimes!!!! that was fun :> (i say as if i was active on the site at that point). also it's like a thing where people jokingly refer to the gods as their parents- yeah <3

for context, each dragon god on flight rising is affiliated with a specific element, or flight, and every dragon clan is associated with one of the gods. my account has been a shadow clan since day one babeyyyy so i will have a lot to say about the shadow goddess.

okay under the cut! content warnings: the plague goddess looks a bit gross at first glance and i can't spoiler tag her image, so tread lightly. if zombies make you uncomfortable, pls be careful!

first up; the earth god, the earthshaker!

from what i understand, the earthshaker is kind of a sad old man. he's the oldest of the gods and one of the gods that helped create the world of sornieth! he wishes the other gods would still be friends and not just kick the shit out of each other all the time.

a cursory glance at his profile tells me that his followers call him variations of rockdad. fair!

next up: the fire goddess, miss flamecaller!

the flamecaller is the fire goddess! she's one of the oldest gods and also helped create the world! we love a girlboss!!! she seems very cool, idk my clan isn't fire affiliated. i'm sure she's done some atrocities though because like all the gods have.

idk what her followers call her but i think. well. firemom is good.

next up: the wind god, the windsinger!

hello noodledad. anyway the windsinger is pretty dope! he's all about adventure and learning new things and exploring and making the most out of life! he's also another one of the oldest gods who helped create the world. from what i gather he's not that interested in the petty disagreements between the other gods and just wants to have fun.

next up; the water god, mr tidelord!

so this is the only part of the lore i'm up to date on lmao and that is that the tidelord's fucking missing??? or dead???? what the fuck. anyway he's cool. he lives in the ocean and he has visions all the time and goes "yikes" and i love him. unfortunately i think someone killed him. sorry, water dad.

next up: MY MOM MY MOM MY MOM- the shadow goddess, the shadowbinder!

so i originally picked shadowmom because i liked her design the most, and that still stands. i love her. she is so goopy. those are liquid shadows dripping out of her body and i love her so much. shadowmom's philosophy is that sometimes secrets should stay secret and knowledge can hurt. which uhhh y'know isn't actually something i really agree with but it's okay she's fine-

shadow mom is a younger goddess, but she's still comparatively old as fuck compared to the newest ones.

also she calls her followers her children and i'm 🥺🥺 ily shadowmomma

next up: a bitch! the ice god, the icewarden!

he's a cop! or something! that's kind of a reduction but this bitch made all the prisons in this world and is all "ohhhh i am holding so many horrors away from killing the world" and then in the same breath makes fun of my favorite dragon breeds. i hope he chokes /lh

i do love his design, i just think he's a little hater and deserves to be bullied mercilessly.

i will not call this beast father.

aaand next up: the capitalist, the lightning god, the stormcatcher!

so the stormcatcher is the only god that players don't refer to as dad! i think that's neat. no, he's The Boss. he treats his followers like his employees, for better or for worse. he is all about PRODUCTIVITY and INDUSTRIALISM and i wanna push him into a locker- i'm kidding.

he's cool, i like his design a lot.

aaand next up, the worst of the bunch (/lh), the light goddess, the lightweaver!

so as a loyal son of shadowmom, i have to bully this motherfucker. lightweaver is a punk-ass glittery hoe who creates fucked up zombies and then goes "ahaha not my problem lol." fuck you.

(this is a joke, i actually think she's super cool and has a fun design and interesting lore, but i'm a good son to shadowmom ok-)

i call her glitterbitch <3

next up: the nature goddess, the gladekeeper!

the gladekeeper is one of the youngest deities, and i think she's super fucking cool. she's all about survival and perseverance, and she's spent millennia warring with her sister, the plague goddess. she was created in the wake of an apocalypse and has been focusing on repairing the world. i love u beardmom even if ur not my mom.

and next up: her sister, the plague goddess, the zombie plaguebringer!

so, looking at plaguebringer, you may think she's evil. but she's really not. her whole deal is that she also wants to repair the world, but she has a very different philosophy on how to do that. the plaguebringer believes only the strongest can survive, and that strength and resilience must be cultivated for the world not to fall again.

she is so fucking cool and i love her <33333 also her followers make the funniest memes, don't @ me.

and finally, my actual favorite aside from shadowmom: the arcanist! the arcane god!

so the arcanist is the youngest god and also the smallest, but he's bigger than every single mortal dragon breed lmao. he's caused he apocalypse three separate times and i'm fucking obsessed with him. spacedad <33333

he was born in a nuclear reactor (long story) and i highkey headcanon that his magic is just pure radiation.

he's my favorite and i have an oc i ship with him because i'm attached to him a completely normal amount (lying)

#talk to the bunnykitty #number one eden linnaeus kinnie #flight rising lore but bad #flight rising #don't @ me if i'm wrong btw #this is all jokes #undescribed images cw

[kits-ships]

💕 with ur spiderman si ?? 😏

by GOD did i infodump. thank u sm for the ask!!

holly is my s/i that has gone thru the most atrocious experiences. not that the other's haven't experienced anything awful, but with holly they dont stop coming and they dont stop coming and they-

she has three major au's; one for the raimiverse, one for the mcu, and one for the spiderverse. you can typically tell the difference by their hair colors if i don't mention which one i've drawn! spv holly has a short, brown bob, rv holly has longer, dyed hair, and mcu holly is bleach blonde.

for all three versions, her "great responsibility" moment took place in psych ward and was originally in reference to her art, but it took a new meaning when holly failed to protect the nurse that she'd grown attached to. it felt like she'd lost so much at this point, so she was determined to change her destiny from that point on. that's what drove to become the night-web!

she managed to find herself living in nyc (greenwich) after her mentor passed and left her home to holly. the woman's son had already passed away prematurely and didn't have many other people to put in her will, so she decided to hand it off to the closest thing to a child she had left. of course holly graciously accepts the property- even if she hates the city environment- because who can afford a home in this economy??

however, it branches off a lot!!

before graduating, raimiverse holly finds herself working in the shadow of spider-man. she's not too much of a fan of this dork, but her college internship gives her an excuse to go to the city and fight crime, so she does her best to deal with him. of course peter is excited by the presence of someone just like him, so he's a little upset when she goes out of her way to avoid him.

she can't even escape him as she works under otto octavius, because he shows up anyways! holly is just trying to work on designing the man's arms and fusion reactor- not talk to some random guy that harry brought in. but, in the end, they grow a bit closer after otto passes away. after all, watching ur man boil in the manhattan river is a great bonding exercise. unfortunately for them, tho, this friendship is kind of shattered during spider-man 3. holly will NOT allow some nerd to bully her- especially with some emo bangs.

after college, mcu holly finds herself working alongside matt murdock to take down fisk. she learns of his identity one night after he was especially roughed up- doing her best to take care of him with the help of claire. she doesn't quite know how the woman knows him, but it's nothing, right? from then on, holly often finds herself taking heavier blows for matt as she knows her healing factor and resilience make her a tougher target to beat down.

unfortunately for her, though, things change when elektra enters the picture. suddenly, matt is avoiding her, he kissed his coworker, and he's hanging out with some murderous gal?? it breaks her heart knowing that she was putting so much effort into their relationship, so she has a bit of a meltdown once frank castle catches the two of them and gives them his little speech from the rooftop. holly decides frank has a point, matt is a prick, and so she swings off to do some thinking. but, in holly's saddened state, she bonds with a symbiote named malice and ends up doing a little bit of murder to try and grab matts attention. she ends up needing dr strange to exorcise it from her body and, after a bit of research, becomes penpals with eddie brock <3

i don't have much about spiderverse holly, but i love her. she's the most optimistic of the three and is also absolutely enamored by the younger spiders. like, she would probably break someones legs to protect them.

much like the others, holly ended up in miles' timeline and was found by peni. it was all very confusing to her- everyone was named peter or something parker- but she felt better when gwen stacy showed up. there isn't a peter parker in her universe, but she quickly begins to wish did after meeting spider-noir. i mean, the man likes to punch fascists?? sign her UP. but, besides that, i don't know much about her story. i do know that she confesses to noir right before returning to her universe and is thoroughly embarrassed by the others' reactions, but she's still happy she got a lil kiss <3

#blueskiesforholly #redskiesforholly #greyskiesforholly #transdimensionallove #sketchingthedoc #goodness #ask game #psych ward tw #psych warch mention #holly; feelings are fatal

[demonsfate]

@hardasstaichou​

lol his mother’s name is pretty easy to remember once you realize it’s just jin but with a ‘u’ instead of an ‘i’! (her name is jun!) and it’s funny because jun is probs my fav tek girl. she’s beautiful, she’s kind, she’s similar to jin in ways. but i just... didn’t find myself loving her as much in the anime. i think because her design was too different (and boring) and i did... view her pacifism as too extreme as times. which would’ve been better had they explained maybe the reason she’s so strict is because she’s paranoid jin will end up like his father. but like... they never tell us or hinted at that. jun refuses to talk about jin’s father, but we never see if she ever actually loved kazuya at all to begin with or how they became a thing, or how she even really felt by his supposed death. the relationship of kazuya and jun just isn’t there. which, yes, it’s not really there in the games either. BUT. in the anime, we were promised we’d find out new things about jin’s backstory that we didn’t see in the games. and guess what? we didn’t. literally everything told in the anime, we already knew happened in the games - or at the very least, we can guess happened. the only “new” thing we got was that jin was bullied lol. which honestly, i didn’t care for the bully story. while yes, it could show jin had trouble controlling his temper... which btw, does a poor job at that - bc in the anime he even STATES they’ve been PHYSICALLY AND VERBALLY ABUSING HIM FOR LITERAL WEEKS - anyone would’ve snapped at that. aaaand jin goes through so much anyway, why add him being bullied on top of everything? if i were writing it, 

i would’ve made it that xiao was getting bullied, for being chinese. (therefore, would’ve acknowledged the elitism/racism that’s in japan) and xiao, being the optimistic and kind girl she is, is able to ignore this even if it does hurt. but jin, however, as we’ve seen in many other games and noncanon adaptations, cannot stand seeing xiao being hurt or disrespected - and that’s what causes him to lose his temper and start pounding on the bullies. perhaps this is why jun scolds him, because if xiao can refrain herself from violence, then so can jin. but of course, jin makes it a point - why should xiao be subjected to such when she can fight back? they obviously deserve it. that’s when jun will snap at jin, perhaps saying something like “i don’t want to see you become your father!” and then everything goes silent. maybe they’ll go into a talk later on where they can come to an understanding. jun doesn’t tell jin that kaz was influenced by a literal demon, but just that his anger and hatred led to him becoming a horrible person that eventually led to his death.

lots of fans, sadly, thought the anime was an IMPROVEMENT for jin. which made me feel they didn’t really understand jin’s character in the first place. i know stoic anime character is a trope, too. but with the way jin was just gasping at everything and being very expressive - just made him feel more like Generic Anime Protagonist, made him feel more like a shell the viewer can easily insert himself into the main character. i think jin’s lack of expressions or antisocial behavior can be relatable - there are people who struggle with this. hell, even i myself struggle with interacting with ppl. not only that, but jin is a highly traumatized individual. who, after his mother’s death, was forced to live with his grandfather - who was very strict, and had pretty abusive training. given how heihachi killed jin in the end, he clearly couldn’t stand having any small talk with jin. so - it makes sense as to why jin would be antisocial in the first place. also, i just like to think of jin as a weird little guy - it makes him more interesting than a sociable protagonist imo - at least, for jin, because that’s what his character is supposed to be - a flawed hero. not just because he struggles with anger, but he struggles with making the right choice, and he struggles with emotion and socialization. also - him struggling with emotion makes sense later on because if he does feel too much, then that means his devil will take over, and cause a lot of issues for the world. therefore, perhaps, jin is conditioned to believe that “emotion = bad” because of the consequences it can have on his devil gene. so, jin being the stoic “-.-” is both badass, and actually makes a lot of sense lore wise, too.

#hardasstaichou #✏️ - ᴛʜᴇ ʜᴏsᴛ ᴡɪᴛʜ ᴛʜᴇ ᴍᴏsᴛ // (ooc)

[theperfectlovestory]

You Are My Home

I DON'T OWN THE PICTURE

Information: This will probably have multiple parts but stand alone (?) I'm a bit nervous to post this cause this is a more personal uhh imagines 😂

Summary: It's been a long time since your friends saw you, a lot has change and you are in a better place in your life. Specially the relationship part

Pairings: Elizabeth Olsen x Reader

Theme: fluff

TW: none (?)

Word Count: 2,241

"Hey guys" you greeted, giving a small smile to your friends. It's been a long time since you all had the chance to talk together

Everyone has been busy and since you left your original city 2 years ago, the best you can do is chat with them once in a while

You are confident that the relationship with them is strong but you are sure many things have changed. But change is good, specially since you left with heavy heart and full of uncertainty

Right now you are in a good position in your life, and everyone is free, or at least made sure to make time. But still, the best you can do is video call for now

After 2 years this is the first time you've seen everyone. While they keep in touch and get together once in a while. You just were too far, both physically and mentally

"Hey, long time no see" Steve teased and you chuckled

"Damn you look good" Natasha commented "been taking care of yourself, I see"

You made a face and nodded "happy now I finally hit the gym like you always nag me to?" She chuckled

"Hey, just want you healthy"

"I know, thank you. Your voice is actually what pushed me in training" you leaned on the table, placing your cheeks on your knuckles "I can just hear you berating me for being so weak"

Everyone chuckled, agreeing that she does do that

"But in all seriousness, you look happy" Bucky complimented

Sighing, you nodded, finally at the position in your life where you can actually see yourself having a bright future

"I am, finally got my shit together, mostly at least"

The topic then transferred to your other friends, enjoying their presence even just from the screen. Laughing together just like the old times

"(Y/n)?" You turn your head to the voice, your girlfriend, Elizabeth calling for you coming from the second floor

"Darling, I'm in the dining" you answered and immediately heard footsteps

Without looking at the screen of your laptop, she smiled, excitedly tilt your head by your chin, kissing you deeply

Every one of your friends are stunned. Of course, you never showed them any public display, not like you had the chance anyway since you never really pursued anyone for years you were with them and now here you are kissing Elizabeth Olsen

Very famous actress, part of big filming companies, a producer as well

"Damn (Y/n)..." Natasha whispered and you laughed when Lizzie finally realized you were actually on a video call

"Oh no, sorry baby" she said wiping your mouth and hers with her sleeves, you shake your head to stop her

"You're fine, or not. But Lizzie, meet my friends" you gestured on the screen and Lizzie shyly waved at them. Blush dusting her cheeks as she pursed her lips into a decent smile. Your taste still lingering on her mouth

They said a quick hi to be polite then suddenly spoke all at once berating you for not telling them you are dating "the Elizabeth Olsen". The actress, the girl of your dreams

Then it was your turn to blush when Bucky mentioned that she's the reason you never had any interest in other people. She was just too 'shiny' to you, the other just seemed dull

Elizabeth looked at you with new found love in her eyes as you got bullied by your friends. She can't help but give you a quick kiss on the cheek before apologizing for interrupting your moment with them again

"Oh no, you did not interrupt at all. We probably wouldn't even know she's dating if you didn't come" Tony said and everyone told him to shut up

"It's not like how it sounds, Ms. Olsen. (Y/n) is very proud of you, she just really doesn't like speaking about her relationships" Peter explained and Elizabeth chuckled

"Oh I know, that's why we are not in public anyway" she patted your head "but it's okay. I don't want to drag her in the mess of Hollywood so if you can just keep all this between us" she gave everyone a small smile and they either shrugged or nodded

"No problem" Natasha answered "I'll make sure these idiots don't slip up"

Elizabeth gave them a big smile before she left to get breakfast. Once she is gone though they started attacking you with questions again

"Fine fine" you sighed, finally giving up "we met a few months after I left, I applied to the Marvel Studio as set decorator. I was fixing up the set the night before with a bunch of my coworkers so the shooting will proceed with ease. I'm usually just there at night so when she came looking for her phone, which I actually picked up and was planning to give to the lost and found before leaving, they pointed her to me. I gave it to her, she thanked me and that was it'' you shrugged

"Then how did you two got together"

Pursing your lips, knowing they wouldn't stop anyway you told them

It was the wrap up of the filming for Endgame. The biggest movie you will ever work with if you are honest

A bunch of A-listers are there and a lot of demands have to be met so for the first time, the whole movie you had to be in and out of the sets. You barely slept or ate in the past few months. You apartment even collected dust since all you did there is go home, take a shower, then go out

You mostly slept on set. By the end of the filming your body is screaming for rest. But you kept going anyway. This project is a very big deal for you, specially you lead the look of the set. anything that needs to be changed, moved, removed, added to the set goes through you

So basically, all day you stand in front of the set, watching the designers work their magics and you requesting changes, assessing the atmosphere in pre production and etc. and at night, clean up and set up is a bitch

One morning you were so tired you wanted to pass out there and then when Elizabeth enter the area. She was shooting all her parts today that can be soloed

You tried to keep yourself awake and alert to anything and everything so when you noticed an uneven ramp and props that she will unfortunately stepped on, your body started running before your mind can comprehend what's happening

She let out a squeal when she broke her ankle and fall but before she hit the ground and risk further injuries on her wrist that is sure to break her fall, you were catching her

But your body felt so weak that instead of staying up right, she fell on you. At least she wasn't hurt at any part of her body but you were, you hit your head on impact but it was minor

If ever, it only made you dizzy

She stood up and you did as well. You rubbed your hand on your face, ordering staffs to re-arrange and clean up the set so no more obstacle can cause accidents

You didn't even dare look at her eyes knowing those green orbs will suck your life out of you. You asked her if she's okay, also apologizing for the dangerous set up. It was overlooked that she would be indeed walking in heels, boots but heels nevertheless

"It's fine, I'm fine" she said, smiling but her eyes are full of worry "are you though? You hit your head when you broke my fall" she said, even unconsciously touching it

"Uh yeah..." you awkwardly smiled at her "it doesn't hurt, thanks" you then slowly back away. When the props have been arrange, the shooting started but your body felt so weak you had to call your assistant to cover for you

You went to the area where you always rested and slept. You were out for almost 2 hours when a cough woke you up. You sat up, rubbing your eyes and ask what they need without even looking at them

"I...brought you food, and coffee" your head snapped, looking at the voice you only dream of talking . She had a small and awkward smile and shy look in her eyes directed to you

"I was looking for you where you usually stand but noticed you weren't there" she explained, your face obviously gave your confusion away "I wanted to thank you again, the stunt director said that if it weren't for you, I would most likely break my wrist in that fall"

You slowly nodded, giving her a small smile "well, it was our fault for not triple checking the set"

"No no, please don't do that, accidents happen, I'm just here to thank you. It was me being clumsy too" You look at her with newfound admiration, a firm believer of 'never meet your idol, it will disappoint you'. But it wasn't the case with her at all

You are aware of the rumors that she's actually very kind, down to earth and serious with her job. It's a good rumor considering she is well known and if you are honest, you know deep in your heart it is true, but you never get your hopes up high

If only you met in a different circumstance, maybe you would think of trying to flirt a little but you know your place. This is a work situation and you need to be as professional as you can be. She is still an actress after all, you need to respect her space

It doesn't mean that she is being kind to you, it's an invitation to step into that space of hers. So you muster the most professional smile you can

"Well thanks, it's really no problem" you said with indifference and if you are actually not too much in your head, you will see her frown with the change of tone

She then handed you the food and the coffee "I'd actually like to talk more again sometimes" she said, swallowing the tightness in her throat "maybe for a coffee?"

The invitation did wonders in your body. Your heart is just beating a tad bit faster, your stomach filled with butterflies, your cheeks turning red. All the cliché reactions you can feel, it's there but then you moved and you groaned, your body sore from over work

You were so sure you wanted to say yes, but your body clearly wanted to say no. After this shooting, you just want to drop dead in your apartment and maybe wake up 3 months after

"I'm just so tired recently, I will be no fun" you chuckled, exhaustion dripping on every syllable "but hey, maybe a few weeks after the filming is done, if you are still up for it?"

The sadness of rejection from earlier was turned into a big grin. Her excitement sparkled on her eyes "sure, I'd give you my number then"

You nodded and gave her your phone. She didn't even have to ask for a password because you never put one in. It's easier since you give your phone to your assistants all the time to contact people for updates on props shipments and other business related matter

She excitedly tapped her number, saving it as 'Scarlet Witch' and that made you giggle. Using her screen name that's not even canon yet

"Okay, Scarlet Witch, I'll call you when I finally get some well deserve hibernation, then maybe I'll be more fun to talk to than a usual" She laughed and nodded and you are so sure you can never be more in love with her voice

She then said a few more things before leaving you to rest. You thanked her again for the food and coffee before she disappeared

"I can't believe you almost rejected her" Steve said wide eyed "she's like, your dream woman"

"Oh I can" Natasha said "(Y/n) doesn't hit uncertain, have you ever played with her on anything? All her hits are aces!"

"But it's like the chance of a lifetime!"

"Yeah! That's why you make sure you attack when you know it will hit!"

The two started bickering and you all just watched, laughing at their same old antics. Elizabeth then walk to your side, offering you a fruit bowl for breakfast, you thanked her and then invited her to seat besides you and she did, you kissed her off camera

"What was that?" She chuckled but tried to catch your lips again when you pulled away, you giggled at her pouty face

"Nothing, just suddenly can't believe I'm actually dating you" she sighed, giving you a small smile

"You might think that you're the lucky one but it's actually me" she said, pressing a hand on your cheeks and squeezing it lightly "you make my life whole, (Y/n), you filled the space in my heart where money or popularity cannot"

"And you picked up and fixed my broken pieces" you countered, leaning on her hand that's now just slowly rubbing your cheeks

"I guess we are both lucky then"

"Yeah"

Your eyes both glint the same way. Feeling like you finally found where you belong, in each other. You are home

#elizabeth olsen x reader #wanda maximoff x reader #elizabeth olsen #wanda maximoff #imagine #domestic

[fill-me-with-your-memes-daddy]

Watching the Rise of the Titans movie and I'll be documenting all of my thoughts/reactions here. [Spoiler Warning]

So instead of reblogging every new update, I'm just going to have this post up on my phone as I watch and type my reactions in a bullet list format.

Nari's human disguise is so cute. As someone who does have a cottagecore aesthetic, I want to cosplay her so bad

Are Skrael and/or Belroc non-binary coded? Regardless, I'm also obsessed and I want to fuck Skrael and be Belroc.

STEVE CARING ABOUT JIM BEING HURT YESSSS!!! My god his redemption has probably been one of the greatest there is because he doesn't just suddenly go from being a bully to a completely good person. You can see the gradual shift in learning better throughout the shows which is awesome.

IN NEW YOOOOOOORRRRRRRK!!!!!! CONCRETE JUNGLE WHERE DREAMS ARE MADE OFFFFFFFFFFFFF!!!!!

The mugshot montage reminded me of season 1 of trollhunters when toby and Jim were arrested at the museum.

STRICKLER PUT A RING ON IT??? HE'S THE ONLY DILF IVE EVER ACTUALLY AGREED WAS HOT WYM I CAN'T HAVE HIM??? well I'm still really happy about his arc over the series probably one of my favorite character growths.

Eli my guy got his growth spurt!!! As an 18 year old who is still 5'0", I'm happy but envious for him

So I went into this movie without watching any trailers or promo, but I doubt anything could have prepared me for the existence of mpreg. In fact, I wasn't going to document my reactions until I saw that.

NAMURA!!!!!!!!! MY BELOVED!!!!!! I CAN STILL THIRST FOR YOU WITHOUT GUILT

The coach teacher just called the kids zoomers so I have to dock one point from my final rating just because of that. Unforgivable

Those husky animation models suck lmao

Oh fuck the titans got power ranger zords!!

God why did they include the mpreg??? This movie would have been perfect without it.... After that plot point being revisited only one time I'm already beyond done with it

Like it's bringing me back to the v*ltron days where they're was a suspiciously high amount of klance omegaverse and mpreg fics and art created and it physically hurts because Steve and Keith's voice actor is the same person meaning this is especially cursed to me since I was unfortunately in the v*ltron fandom and remember all of that

But like on another note, how old are these characters again??? I haven't checked any wikis because of spoilers but is Steve an adult??? I know aja might be technically a lot older than 18 because alien but is whatever age she is equivalent to an adult as far as emotionally and physically in Akaridion development??? IS THIS A TEEN (M)PREGNANCY IN A KIDS SHOW????

Like bruh I saw a singular post on here before going into the movie that was like "rott spoilers without context" and there was a pregnant belly but I was absolutely not expecting the actual context of it. I'll find the post after I finish and edit this post to tag the creator right here: @makoden

This entire post is just gonna be me ranting about mpreg huh

Anyway I love the whole roundtable allusion to the legends of king arthur (not the toa version but the one he's based off)

THERE'S 3 TO 5 BABIES????? I need to take a break bruh this is just too much

Alright I've taken a 30 minute break got some food and did some things i love (decompressed by tactile stimming with some owl plushies and watched some videos on my favorite owl, Garu. He lives in Japan with his owner and is a domesticated eagle owl who basically just acts like a sky cat. If anyone else needs some eye bleach, here is their YouTube channel)

Blinky and ARRRGHHH!!! saying their "if one of us doesn't make it" talk my god one of them is going to die I can see it and I will be utterly crushed. Jim can't lose another father figure and Toby can't lose his wingman again I will riot if this happens

On a similar but unrelated to the movie note, can we just talk about how toa started with Jim having 0 dads and (if strickler and blinky live to the end) will end with 2 dads? Like I just really feel happy for him that he has two dads who actually figured out how to put the past behind them to not have any infighting between them so that both of them are healthy father figures. Jim has already been through literal hell and back losing his actual humanity in the process so if he loses one of them, I'm going to be really pissed because at this point, this is just Jim torture porn. Y'all know how as SpongeBob SquarePants went on, the show just became Squidward torture porn? It's starting to feel that way for toa and I really hope they cut the shit by the ending

Jlaire is such a good ship but like I feel like it's too perfect they never disagree with each other

YESSSSSSS Someone finally doesn't treat toby like a fat waste of space who messes stuff up!!! I think out of all the characters that would have been most deserving of a rewrite, it's Toby. Sometimes I just feel he's only comic relief and any heartfelt moments he's had in the series was also born of stupidity (ie his flour baby project being unharmed was seen by him as divine intervention from his parents but was actually just Eli and Steve behind the scenes).

Ohhhhh yesssssss Archie's father!!! I was hoping I'd see him again because we got so little of him last

Ooooooooooh Asian trollmarket!!!!!

Oh never mind slavery trollmarket

Bruh titanic camelot

I feel like we're not seeing enough of the villains because I completely forgot about the power ranger zord things

NAMORA NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO MY LAST CRUSHHHH

STRICKLER NO NOT YOU TOO PLEASE

WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

THE ONLY TWO CHARACTERS I SIMP FOR ON THIS SHOW DIED WITHIN FIVE MINUTES OF EACH OTHER

THAT WHOLE ASS RANT I WROTE IS COMING TRUE FUCK THIS MOVIE THIS SERIES IS JUST JIM TORTURE PORN

WAIT JIM'S SPERM DONOR INFO?

Oh thank God I don't want to know anything about that person

For the record, I call that man Jim's sperm donor because he has no business being called a father to him. All he did was donate some swimmers to the creation of him and give him abandonment issues

Oh another blind troll elder???? This fucker is just if vendel was a bad guy

Bruh I was grieving

PACIFIC RIM WITH GUN ROBOT VEX AND THE BELROCZORD? I've never seen that movie but I know the reference

Bruh Blinky doesn't read horoscopes? Does he realize conspiracy theories are just the manly version of horoscopes?

NO DON'T KILL VEX STOP KO-ING FOUND FAMILY MEMBERS

Oh thank God he's okay

NO NOT ARCHIE AND CHARLEMAGNE OH MY GOD

oh never mind they're just gonna coup de tat I believe in them :))

But I want to see him again

But I'm glad to see vex

Yay they're in arcadia!

But yeah I wondered why the trolls and Merlin didn't keep the whole "daylight doesn't hurt trolls" feature from the eternal night but now Guillermo del Toro I see you were playing the long con in that just to kill my girl Namora :(((

Oooooh I love the animation of the Narizord over Chihuahua!! It looks very good and realistic (if only they could have put some of that into those huskies from before smh)

Bruh the character designs of the arcane order are so good I want to be them

Nari making sure the Skraelzord doesn't crush the bus

DAMN DOUBLE HOMICIDE

Bruh I'm just glad we finally have an answer on why arcadia had everything going on as opposed to literally anywhere else!! I always found that as a weird coincidence for plot convince.

BRUH WERE BACK TO THE MPREG IM SO JEALOUS I FORGOT ABOUT THAT EVEN THOUGH IT WAS BECAUSE I WAS GRIEVING THE LOSS OF MY LOVELIES.

Oh that's real convenient that the ninth configuration meant all of them. Way to not decide which character gets more attention. Though it probably was a smart way to not have any infighting in the fandom between each character's stan group.

Bruh I just realized where is Barbera did they just ditch her on the Camelot ship???

And where are the other trolls that migrated at the end of trollhunters s3? They said something about new jersey but obviously Jim and the other main characters got on Camelot instead.... This feels like a plot hole

And we never learned the process of how changelings are made and bonded to humans and stuff. We just know it's super painful but I'm curious ffs!!!!

THE DONT THINK BECOME HERO SPEECH ALL SAID TOGETHER!!!

BRUH THEY REALLY HAD TO SHOW HIM GIVING BIRTH??????? WAS THAT AN ABSOLUTE MUST??????

Plus the main audience for this series is little children (the rating for the movie is literally TV-Y7) so even though my adult ass is not in the target audience, I STILL DONT UNDERSTAND WHY WOULD MPREG AND ANAL BIRTH WOULD BE AN IMPORTANT THING TO 7 YEAR OLDS???? THIS IS A LITERAL FETISH HIDDEN IN KIDS CONTENT ITS ELSAGATE ALL OVER AGAIN Y'ALL 😭😭😭😭😭

Though it's probably hypocritical of me to think fetishes don't belong in kids tv when I've openly admitted to thirsting for strickler and namora

HUZZAH

NEW AMULET WAZ GOOD????

STAB THAT BITCH JIM

WAIT NO I SAID STAB NOT GET STABBED

Alright good job just missed the directions at first but you fixed it

SEVEN KIDS?????????

T O B Y ????????????

W A I T NO

N O

IS HE ACTUALLY

OH MY GOD THERE'S HOPE

NO THERE ISN'T

F U C K THIS SHIT THEY REALLY JUST HAD HIM TO BE BULLIED THEN KILLED

Y'ALL IM ACTUALLY CRYING THIS NEVER HAPPENS

I NEVER ACTUALLY GET SO EMOTIONAL OVER MEDIA THAT I CRY IT ONLY HAPPENED ONCE AT THE END OF VOLTRON BUT AHHHHHHHH

W A I T

HE'S GONNA BE BROUGHT BACK?????

HOLD UP THEY'RE JUST GONNA BRING ALL THOSE DEAD PEOPLE BACK??????

WAIT IS HE

BLINKY CALLED HIM A SON

HOLD ON IS THIS GOING TO BE A CLIFFHANGER???????????

BRUH THEY REALLY JUST CAN'T END THE SERIES WITHOUT CLIFFHANGERS like there's always an open ending

TROLLHUNTER TOBY????? You know what forget the whole rants I had on how toby was written they just redeemed it all

And that's all! I'd rate it a 6.5/10 because it's definitely the weakest of all the sequels but still had amazing animation and some good plot points. It's just really hard to look over the bad stuff enough to rate it any higher.

#tales of arcadia #rise of the titans #trollhunters #rott #rise of the titans spoilers #rott spoilers #toa #3 below #athena's own original post! #jim lake jr #claire nuñez #toby domzalski

[sturchling]

Hey, I was wondering if you could do a story of marinette moving to Gotham.

And going to gotham academy and having her own boutique. Damienette pairing. Cat noir salt. You dont have to if u dont want too.

Sorry for the long wait, work has been keeping me super busy lately. I hope you like this and it was worth the wait! I had a hard time trying to work in the Chat Noir salt, so its more like Adrien salt. Let me know what you think!

-----------------------------------

Marinette was tired of Lila and her lies. She was tired of Adrien’s refusal to help defend her from the liar. And she was tired of everyone believing the liar over Marinette. Most of the school now believed that Marinette was a horrible bully that had been attacking Lila since she arrived. Marinette had been removed as class rep and was constantly given detention by Mr. Damocles. Marinette’s parents have been very supportive, and now realized that Lila was just a malicious liar. But even with their support, it had become to much for Marinette and she knew it was time to leave Paris.

------------------

Her parents were hesitant when she brought up the idea. Marinette had found a study abroad program where she could attend Gotham academy, hosted by Bruce Wayne himself. She discussed it with her parents, really hoping to convince them. They were obviously concerned for a number of reasons. The main one being the crime rate in Gotham. They knew that Marinette needed to get away from Paris, that things had gotten bad in the city for her. But they didn’t want to send her to a dangerous city where she could be hurt or killed. But after speaking with Marinette for several hours, they started to realize how excited Marinette was for the opportunity. While they were still worried, they knew this was the right place for Marinette. And they were comforted that if she was accepted, she would be hosted by and staying with Bruce Wayne. His manor is one of the safest places in the city. So, they agreed with Marinette that she could apply the program.

----------------

So Marinette applied to the study abroad program. She didn’t tell anyone at the school, not like anyone in the class was speaking to her anyway. She waited anxiously for news from the program, hoping to hear that she had been accepted.  The longer she didn’t hear anything, the more anxious she became. She was sure that she had been rejected and they just hadn’t told her. Marinette had just got back from a particularly bad day at school, when she noticed she had a new email. An email from the study abroad program. She raced to open the email, and started cheering when she read the line We are pleased to inform you that you have been accepted into the Gotham Academy Study Abroad Program. Marinette raced downstairs and told her parents the news. The email said that she would be expected in Gotham by the end of the month. It went on to explain details of the program. That night the Dupain-Cheng family celebrated, and began preparing for Marinette’s departure. 

----------------

The last month of Marinette’s time in Paris seemed to drag on and on. Everyday she had to listen to Lila’s lie all day long and the whole class fawn over here. She had to endure Lila accusing her of bullying almost daily and almost daily detentions. But finally, it was her final day at the Dupont. She was almost giddy as she walked to Mr. Damocles’ office with her parents. When she entered the office and Mr. Damocles saw her, he just sighed. “What did you do now Miss Dupain-Cheng?” Then he saw her parents in the office and straightened up. “I didn’t do anything Mr. Damocles. I never did anything Lila accused me of, but I know you will never believe me on that. We are just here to get my academic records and inform you that I will no longer be attending this school after today.” Mr. Damocles was flustered by the sudden declaration. “What do you mean you won’t be attending anymore? Where are you going?” Mr. Dupain stepped forward, barely containing his contempt for this man who had been helping to make his daughter miserable. “Marinette will be studying abroad in America for the next year at least. Now, give us the academic records.” Mr. Damocles stuttered for a while, wondering how such a bully got accepted to such an amazing program. But soon, the Dupain-Chengs got the records from him and were on their way.

------------------

 Marinette went down to the locker room with her parents and started emptying her locker. Class hadn’t started yet so, everyone was still in the locker room. They were confused when Marinette started emptying her locker. Adrien, who was about the only  person that still talked to Marinette from time to time, approached the young designer. “Marinette? What are you doing?” Marinette didn’t look at any of them, continuing to empty her locker as she responded. “I am emptying my locker. Starting Monday, I will no longer be here for school. I am transferring to Gotham Academy.” The class stood in shock, they never expected Marinette to leave. Sure they were happy that Lila would be able to come to school in peace, but it would be weird without Marinette here. They just stood in shocked silence, as Marinette finished with her locker and walked out with her parents. 

------------------

Adrien was shocked by Marinette’s decision. Why would she leave? He knew things had been tough for her lately, but he had kept telling her that it would get better soon. Soon the class would realize that Lila was a liar. That she just had to wait a little longer. But Marinette had clearly given up and was running away. That wasn’t like Marinette at all. When he had the chance, Adrien was going to go pay her a visit in Gotham and convince her to return. 

------------------

Marinette was already loving Gotham. She had been met at the airport by Alfred who brought her to the manor. Mr. Wayne was very nice and introduced her to his children as well. Marinette was the same age as Damian and would be in the same class as him as well. Damian had expected to be irritated by this girl when he was first informed of their guest. But to his surprise, he didn’t find her presence as repulsive as everyone else. 

-------------------

Weeks went by and Marinette was having a wonderful time. She had made some wonderful friends in her class, though she was nervous to try and make friends after Mrs. Bustier’s class. But she was welcomed warmly by her new class. Her and Damian had also grown close over the weeks. They had started dating recently, and would often spend their time together quietly working on their different craft projects; Marinette working on her designs, and Damian working on his most recent painting. The Waynes were shocked at the change Marinette had caused in the youngest Wayne. Damian was still a very reserved person, but he was considerably warmer to Marinette and had started to act warmer to his family as well. 

---------------------

While Marinette wasn’t aware of it, her departure brought about Lila’s downfall. Lila hadn’t been at school recently, on a ‘diplomatic trip to Achu’, and because of that, she didn’t know Marinette left Paris. So when she came back, she was planning on making her next attack against Marinette’s reputation. She used makeup to make fake bruises and called up her tears as she entered the classroom. The class was horrified to see their friend crying and injured. They raced forward and asked Lila what happened. “It was horrible. As soon as I returned to the city last night, Marinette was waiting for me outside my home. She was so mad that she got detention for a week when I told Mr. Damocles that she had stolen my book. She beat me up and said if I ever said anything I would regret it! I am so scared!” Lila was proud of this performance. It was probably one of her best performances yet. But when she looked up at the class, she was surprised to see that the class was staring at her doubtfully. 

-------------------

Alya, feeling dread in her stomach, asked “Are you sure it was Marinette last night? No chance it was someone else?” Lila, irritated that they were questioning her, didn’t notice the tension in the room. “Of course it was Marinette. I saw her face and there is no way it was anyone else last night.” Nino, who was now realizing that this could mean that Marinette was right and that Lila was a liar, asked “What do you mean Marinette attacked you last night? Marinette moved to Gotham almost two weeks ago. She couldn’t have attacked you last night.”  Now Lila was horrified. This was a major mistake. Lila was trying to back pedal, and figure a way out of this mess, but the class had realized at this point that Lila was lying and that she had probably been lying before when Marinette was still here. The class started to yell at Lila as they realized that she had been lying to them all this time. Lila raced from the room, not wanting to face the class. The class quickly tried to reach out to Marinette, to apologize and ask her to come home, but the number they had for her had been disconnected. Adrien was disappointed that Marinette hadn’t told anyone her new number, not even him. He was going to go to Gotham soon and try to convince her to come back. He was sure their Everyday Ladybug would be willing to come back.

-----------------

One day, weeks after Lila’s exposure, Damian and Marinette were sitting in the garden just relaxing. After watching Marinette work on a new design, Damian said, “Marinette, you should really try to open a boutique. Your work is terrific and you would be very successful.” Marinette seemed shocked for a moment. “You really think I should? I wouldn’t even know where to start. And how would I afford a building? I don’t think I could do it.” Marinette continued to anxiously ramble, until Damian came to stand in front of Marinette. “Marinette, Angel, breathe. I am sure you would do wonderfully. And as for the building, my father has multiple buildings in the city that he isn’t using. I am sure he would allow you to set up in one of them.” After more convincing, Marinette agreed to at least ask Bruce about it. When they approached Bruce, he was very willing to help Marinette set up her first boutique. He had seen the girl’s designs and knew that she would be a major success. Marinette felt bad about just taking one of his buildings and accepting his help with getting everything she needed for the boutique, but she accepted when Bruce told her to consider it a loan if that made her more comfortable. Then, they immediately started setting up her boutique.

---------------------

After about a month, everything was set up and Marinette’s boutique had opened under the name MDC. She was an instant success and quickly became very busy with several orders from big name clients. As time went on, Marinette began to feel like Gotham was her home. One day, after she had closed the boutique and was leaving with Damian to go on a date, they were approached by a familiar face. “Adrien?” Adrien smiled and approached her. “Hi Marinette.” Damian sensing the tension, stepped closer to Marinette. “Who is this Marinette?” Adrien looked at the boy standing next to Marinette and didn’t recognize him at all. “Damian, this is Adrien, someone I knew in Paris. Adrien, this is my boyfriend Damian.” That took Adrien by surprise, but he moved past it. He was sure that Marinette would leave this Damian and come back to Paris where she belonged.

----------------

“So what are you doing here Adrien?” Adrien smiled again, “I am here to bring you home Marinette! Lila has been found out and she is gone. You don’t have to keep hiding here in Gotham. You can come home and back to the class. Everything can go back to normal.” Marinette just stared at him, as Damian started to get angry. Adrien didn’t pick up on the tension. “So come on. Lets go get your things. We can fly back to Paris in the morning.” Adrien tried to grab her arm, but Marinette moved back, avoiding him. “I’m sorry Adrien, but I’m not going back. I am really happy here. I still have months with the study abroad program and may stay here permanently if I can. I have friends who wouldn’t leave me for a liar. Damian is here. And my boutique is doing really well. I am not ready to go back to Paris.” Adrien just rolled his eyes. “Come on Marinette, you have friends in Paris, and you can set up a new boutique in Paris. Its no big deal. So come on, lets go.” Adrien once again tried to grab at Marinette’s arm, this time Damian got in his way and shoved him back. “Marinette said she didn’t want to go with you so that is that. You should go now, you have embarrassed yourself enough.” Adrien glared at Damian, angry that he was getting in his way. “I am not leaving. Not until Marinette tells me to, so stay out of this.” Marinette stepped out from behind Damian, looking more confident then Adrien ever remembered seeing her. “Adrien you should leave. I am happy here and I am not going back to Paris. My ‘friends’ in Paris turned their backs on me because of the liar’s pretty words. My friends here would never do that to me. Now please leave.” Adrien was shocked, and didn’t move. Damian rolled his eyes and guided Marinette around Adrien and back to the manor.

------------------

Adrien went back to Paris, alone, the day after his conversation with Marinette. He was surprised that Marinette wouldn’t come back with him. Mrs. Bustier’s class was sad when Adrien came back without Marinette. They had hoped she would come back, but unlike Adrien, they knew the chances were slim. While they were sad that Marinette was gone and that they had chased off such a good friend, they were happy that she had found a place that she could live happily. They tried to move on, hoping that one day they may get the chance to apologize to Marinette in person. 

-------------------

Marinette stayed in Gotham after her conversation with Adrien. She finished her year with the study abroad program and then decided to live in Gotham permanently, with her parents blessing. She continued to stay at the manor, living happily with the Waynes. She continued using the horse miraculous to go back and forth to Paris for the akumas and soon revealed her identity to the Waynes once she realized they were the Batfam. Her boutique continued to be a major success. Her life had improved in every way it could. She was surrounded by true friends, she had a boyfriend who truly cared for her, her fashion business had started with great success, and she didn’t have to deal with the liar anymore. She was the happiest she had been in a long time, and she intended to be this happy for the rest of her life in Gotham.

#ml #ml fic #ml fanfic #ml salt #ml salt fic #ml salt fanfic #ml class salt #class salt #lila rossi #lila salt #Lila exposed #lila salt fic #lila exposed fic #lila gets exposed #adrien salt #miraculous ladybug #miraculous tales of ladybug and chat noir #miraculous fic #miraculous fanfic #miraculous salt #miraculous salt fic #miraculous salt fanfic #maribat #daminette #damimari #maridami #marinette x damian #damian x marinette #ml x dc #miraculous ladybug x dc

[idreamtofmanderleyagain]

Hot takes about Severus Snape are a wierdly decent glimpse into how a person with progressive values analyses things. Literally every time someone talks about Snape, it’s like this tiny window into how one-dimentionally people actually think.

Recently saw a twitter post that was a fantastic example. Here’s how it goes (paraphrasing):

Person A:“Snape is POC and Queer coded, that’s why you guy’s hate him uwu lol.”

Person B: “Actually I hate him because he was mean and abusive to children under his care uwu but go off I guess lol”

Both of these takes are designed to be dramatic and/or reactionary. They each use partial truths to paint very broad strokes. These are get-em-in-one-hit quips. This is virtue signalling, if you’ll excuse that loaded phrase. Nobody had a substantial conversation, but now everyone who sees their statement knows the high ground they took.

At least a hundred other people chimed in to add their own little quippy hot takes into play, none of which add anything significant, but clearly made everyone feel very highly of themselves.

So many layers of nuance and complex analysis is completely lost in this kind of discussion. On tumblr, you get more of this kind of bullshit, but you don’t have a word count limit, so you guys just spew endless mountains of weak overblown evidence backing up your bullshit arguments, none of which was really about engaging in a real conversation anyway.

Here’s the thing about Snape.

He is a childhood domestic abuse victim. His abuser is a muggle.

He becomes a student at a magical school that takes him away from his abuser and immediately instills in him the idea that being a part of this magical world is a badge of self-worth, empowerment, and provides safety and security - provided that he keeps in line.

There is a war is being waged in that world over his right to exist (he is a half blood).

He is a marginalized person within the context of the narrative, forced to constantly be in the same living space as the children of his own oppressors who are being groomed and recruited into a hate group militia (the pureblood slytherins). They are in turn trying to do the same to him.

He is marginalized person bullied by children who are also part of his oppressor group, but who have “more liberal” leanings and aren’t direct about why he’s being targeted (the mauraders are all purebloods, Sirius, who was the worst offender, was raised in a bigoted household, the same one that produced Bellatrix.).

He had a crush on a girl who is a muggleborn, and therefore she is considered even lesser than him and carries a stigma to those who associate with her. That girl was his only real friend. In his entire life.

For both Snape and Lily, allying themselves to a pureblood clique within their own houses would be a great way of shielding themselves from a measure of the bigotry they were probably facing. There would have been obvious pressure from those cliques to disconnect with one and other.

Every other person who associates with Snape in his adulthood carries some sort of sociopolitical or workplace (or hate cult) baggage with their association. Some of them will physically harm and/or kill him if he steps out of line. He hasn’t at any point had the right environment to heal and adjust from these childhood experiences. Even his relationship with Dumbledore is charged with constant baggage, including the purebloods who almost killed him during their bullying getting a slap on the wrist, the werewolf that almost killed him as a child being placed in an authority position over new children, etc. Dumbledore is canonically manipulative no matter his good qualities, and he has literally been manipulating Snape for years in order to cultivate a necessary asset in the war.

He is a person who is not in the stable mental state necessary to be teaching children, whom has been forced to teach children. While also playing the role of double agent against the hate group militia, the one that will literally torture you for mistakes or backtalk or just for fun. The one that will torture and kill him if he makes one wrong move.

Is the math clicking yet? From all of this, it’s not difficult to see how everything shitty about Snape was cultivated for him by his environment. Snape was not given great options. Snape made amazingly awful choices, and also some amazingly difficult, courageous ones. Snape was ultimately a human who had an extremely bad life, in which his options were incredibly grim and limited.

In fact, pretty much every point people make about how shitty Snape is as a person makes 100% logical sense as something that would emerge from how he was treated. Some if it he’s kind of right about, some of it is the inevitable reality of suffering, and some of it is part of the cycle of abuse and harm.

Even Snape’s emotional obsession with Lily makes logical sense when you have the perspective that he literally has no substantial positive experiences with other human beings that we know of, and he has an extreme, soul destroying guilt complex over her death. Calling him an Incel mysoginist nice guy projects a real-world political ideology and behavior that does not really apply to the context of what happened to him and her.

Even Snape’s specific little acts of cruelty to certain students is a reflection of his own life experiences. He identifies with Neville; more specifically, he identifies his own percieved emotional weaknesses in his childhood in Neville. There’s a very sad reason there why he feels the urge to be so harsh.

Snape very clearly hates himself, in a world where everyone else hates him, too. Imagine that, for a second. Imagine total internal and external hatred, an yearning for just a little bit of true connection. For years. Imagine then also trying to save that world, even if it’s motivated by guilt. Even if nobody ever knows you did it and you expect to die a miserable death alone.

There are more elements here to consider, including the way Rowling described his looks (there may be something in there re: ugliness and swarthy stereotyping). These are just the things that stand out the most prominently to me.

J.K. Rowling is clearly also not reliable as an imparter of moral or sociopolitical philosophies. I don’t feel that her grasp of minority experiences is a solid one, considering how she picks and chooses who is acceptable and who is a threat.

All of that said, this is a logically consistent character arc. Within the context of his narrative, Snape is a marginalized person with severe PTSD and emotional instability issues who has absolutely no room available to him for self-improvement or healing, and never really has. And yes, he’s also mean, and caustic, and verbally abusive to the students. He’s also a completey miserable, lonely person.

There are elements in his character arc that mirror real world experiences quite well. If nothing else, Rowling is enough of an emotional adult to recognise these kinds of things and portray something that feels authentic.

In my opinion, it’s not appropriate to whittle all this down by comparing him directly to the real world experiences of marginalized groups - at least if you are not a part of the group you are comparing him to. There have been many individuals who have compared his arc to their own personal experiences of marginalization, and that is valid. But generally speaking, comparing a white straight dude to people who are not that can often be pretty offensive. This is not a valuable way to discuss either subject.

Also, I believe that while it’s perfectly okay to not like Snape as a character, many of the people who act like Person B are carrying Harry’s childhood POV about Snape in their hearts well into their own adulthood. And if nothing else, Rowling was attempting to say something here about how our perspectives (should) grow and change as we emotionally mature.  She doesn’t have to be a good person herself to have expressed something true about the world in this instance, and since this story is a part of our popular culture, people have a right to feel whatever way they do about this story and it’s characters.

The complexity of this particular snapshot of fictionalized marginalization, and what it reveals about the human experience, cannot be reduced down to “he’s an abuser so he’s not worth anyone’s time/you are bad for liking him.”

And to be honest, I think that it reveals a lot about many of us in progressive spaces, particularly those of us who less marginalized but very loud about our values, that we refuse to engage with these complexities in leu of totally condemning him. Particularly because a lot of the elements I listed above are indeed reflected in real world examples of people who have experienced marginalization and thus had to deal with the resulting emotional damage, an mental illness, and behavior troubles, and bad decisions. Our inability to address the full scope of this may be a good reflection of how we are handling the complexity of real world examples.

Real people are not perfect angels in their victimhood. They are just humans who are victims, and we all have the capacity to be cruel and abusive in a world where we have been given cruelty and abuse. This is just a part of existing. If you cannot sympathise with that, or at least grasp it and aknowledge it and respect the people who are emotionally drawn to a character who refects that, then you may be telling on yourself to be honest.

To be honest, this is especially true if you hate Snape but just really, really love the Mauraduers. You have a right to those feelings, but if you are moralizing this and judging others for liking Snape, you’ve confessed to something about how you’ve mentally constructed your personal values in a way I don’t think you’ve fully grasped yet.

I have a hard time imagining a mindset where a story like Snape’s does not move one to empathy and vicarious grief, if I’m honest. I feel like some people really just cannot be bothered to imagine themselves in other people’s shoes, feeling what they feel and living like they live. I struggle to trust the social politics of people who show these kinds of colors, tbh.

But maybe that’s just me.

[thatpoppinat]

When The World Knows (Pt 1)

    pt 2

    It's been a while since Marinette has had time to herself. Thankfully, this isn't due to her responsibilities as Ladybug. 

      In fact, Hawkmoth seemed to be losing whatever motivation he once had for terrorizing Paris, and akumas were becoming scarce. This could have also meant that he was planning something big, but if Marinette was being 100% honest with you, Hawkmoth was becoming the least of her concerns.

    Was her growing fame something she should be concerned about? She couldn’t tell you.    

_____________

     It all started on accident, if you were to ask Marinette. She had just went to visit her uncle Jagged while he was making music for an upcoming show that was being produced. After spending some time with him, he eventually introduced her to Hugo Morris, the director of "Autodale; a noir-esque dystopian show that is ‘the next being thing’”. 

      Hugo had apparently aided in the release of multiple blockbuster and popular shows. Marinette had no doubt that this one would be well received by the public, just by seeing the detailed sets being created all around her.

    Almost jokingly, Jagged had encouraged Marinette to audition for the lead role as Aubrey; the Exceptional Girl. After all; Marinette matched the director's description of her very well, apparently.    

     She was given the script, and she auditioned. She didn't expect to get the role.  

      And somehow - miraculously - she did. Two days after her audition, she received a callback.  

       Marinette, after receiving the email, promptly had a seizure. She didn't think she was that good. But apparently, the producer saw something in her.      

    When she came in the week after to meet the rest of the cast, Marinette could only think about how big the production was, or worry if whether or not she was gonna screw something up with her world renowned clumsiness. She was Marinette Dupain-Cheng after all.

     Speaking of her being her, the thought of being on the big screen made her head spin. In the past, she always thought that if she were to ever work in a film production, she would have been on the design team. Designing clothes was her dream after all.

  But she guessed the saying was true: "If you want to make God laugh, tell him your plans." She was brought back in, she met the rest of the cast, and they were given scripts to read over and have decently memorized by the end of the month.       

     To only add to the workload, Marinette was still a school student. She hadn't even told her classmates about this.

… Her classmates, the people who didn't even bother to question if Lila was telling the truth; who didn't even care if Marinette's feelings were hurt; the people who didn't even hesitate to isolate her and bully her 'for Lila's sake', even after all she had done for them. And Adrien, who knew what they were doing to her, but chose to keep him mouth shut.    

     It was safe to say, that after all they'd done, they were merely classmates. Forced acquaintances, if you will.

    After a few seconds of thought, Marinette decided not to tell them. She didn't want them to ruin this for her.

     She'd have to tell Principal Damocles and Mrs. Bustier, however. If this production was as big as the cast was saying it was, she'd clearly be missing a lot of class.

   And, after months of working with fellow actors, memorizing scripts, helping make props, doing schoolwork online, and keeping her nosy classmates from finding out, she could safely say that was the case.

_________________

    Speaking of classmates.

     When she was needed for the production of "Autodale" , Marinette rarely ever saw them. Being the lead role in a long production show would  mess up your schedule one way or another. When she did go into that class, it was filled with people constantly going up to her new, lonely seat in the back and asking were she had been.

    Instead of answering them, she simply shrugged and told them it wasn't their business. This got on their nerves to no end. At one point, Lila was spreading rumors and lies about how she saw Marinette hanging out with some older men (Marinette had to practically nail herself to the seat as she heard Lila "whisper" it to her loyal followers).

   But Mrs. Bustier quickly shot that down and told the class that she knew where she "disappeared to", that it was a safe environment, and that per request of Marinette and her parents, the class wasn't allowed to know. Mrs. Bustier then scolded Lila about telling people things that could lead to trouble, with no proof anyway.        

     Lila then recovered by spilling crocodile tears and saying that she was only trying to help her dear friend Mari.

  Well, at least Ms. Bustier wasn’t a wallflower anymore.

   It was then classmates started to question Lila, not completely doubting her, though. Which made Marinette want to pull her hair out.

   Marinette didn't end up doing that. After all, she had something to look forward too!

    A sneak peek of Autodale was being broadcasted  during an award show after school.  Marinette couldn't wait! Marinette and the rest of the cast had gotten to see it early, and they were impressed with the craftsmanship.

_________

   The next day, Autodale was all anyone would talk about at school.

   And of course, Lila had to be apart of it.

   "It took them a long time to make the animation that phenomenal. The team poured their hearts and souls into this project. Oh, Hugo is such a good director. He's really nice in real life, too! But, I think that may just be because he has a huge crush on me. 

   “Oh! yeah, I know the secret main actress. She's just secretive and only wants to reveal herself to the public after the episodes are released on Netflix. We're basically besties- sorry Alya! Aww! Of course Alya, I can try to get you an interview with her after the show is released. She might be busy, being the lead role in an anticipated TV and all, but I'll try my best! No problem!"

   Oh the irony. She would've laughed.

   But she was focused with what she said prior to claiming their supposed  "friendship".

    Did Lila know that Morris was a forty year old man and that she had just basically accused him of being a pedophile. That detail probably didn't matter to her. Lila probably would have said it anyway.

    Marinette clenched her fists. Lila could spread all of the lies she wanted (she decided it wasn't worth it after seeing how gullible and unyielding her classmates were), but the fact that she was basically claiming how one of her father figures, with a wife whom he was deeply in love with, was a cheating, flirty pedophile  made her blood boil.

   It must've shown on her face. In a split second, Lila faces her, hiding a small smirk, then loudly proclaimed to her her:

  "Aww! There's no need to be jealous Marinette! I might be able to get her to meet you! But, from what I've told her about you, I don't think she'll want to." Lila shook her head, as if she was pitying her. The class threw sneers her way. 

    Adrien winced, but, once again, did nothing, then looked away.

  Marinette took a deep breath.

 "No, no. That's fine," she smiled.

  Then, with a stroke of luck, she was saved by the bell.

   Thank the Gods for lunch period, she thought.

___________

  She headed to the locker room. Once they were alone, Tikki emerged from her hiding spot.

 "Are you okay?" Tikki frowned.

 "Yeah, I'll be fine,"  Marinette insisted. "I just feel like talking to Carlos."

  Carlos was one of the many actors and actresses she met on the set. Carlos played Macro, Aubrey's main love interest. He was funny, understanding, and would listen to her rants of frustration. All in all, they had a great relationship with each other.

  Not a romantic one, mind you.

   Carlos was gay.

   She dialed his number, and he almost immediately responded. She put him on speaker.

  "Hey Marshmallow!" Carlos exclaimed

   "Hello, rainbow fish."

  "Let me guess. Lila?" he questioned.

   She sighed, "Yeah. You know me too well."

  "So, what she do this time?"

"She essentially called Hugo a pedophile."

"...What?" He practically hissed.

  "Yep. Said she knew the old man and claimed he had a crush on her."

"That lying two-faced fox." he sneered.

  "She also said she knew the secret lead, that they were practically besties, and then straight up looked at me and proclaimed to everyone that the lead didn't like me."

“Wow. And they actually believed her?

  "They always have been. And Adrien did nothing, again." Tikki handed her one of her cookies. She was missing lunch time.

"Seriously, that Agreste boy needs to grow a pair! I'm starting to think he just doesn't care."

Marinette said nothing. She could practically hear him rubbing his temples.

  "*sigh* Don't worry Marinette. With the pilot episode being released next Tuesday, they'll learn the truth and regret treating you like trash. Everyone will finally know that Lila has been spewing bullshit since she arrived."

  "I really hope so. I'm not sure how long I can take this."

  "Girl, I'm telling you! Transfer schools! It's obvious that they're the type to suck up to influential people. Once they find out you're the secret lead, and MDC, they're gonna clam up to you so fast for clout it's not even funny."

   THAT was another thing she hardly told anyone. A couple of weeks ago, she opened a commission website called MDCDesigns.

   To help her out - and because they believed her clothes were to die for - , Jagged Stone and Clara Nightingale began to wear her designs more often. It wasn't long until the Style Queen herself read a review, and for the first time in a long time, she wasn't tearing a brand to shreds.

   In fact, she actually seemed to like her designs.

  "They have potential, I'll admit. Certainly about average. Marvelous designs. " Style Queen said in her review. "If they keep this up, they'll certainly have a spot in the industry." She turned to the cameras. "Also, if you're watching this MDC, know that if we ever meet, I'd like a cream colored faux fur scarf."

  Her website practically crashed due to the insane amount of commissions she had received that night. Ever since then, people have been dying to know who this mysterious designer was. She wondered if opening the shop was a good decision: not because of her career, mind you, but her health.

   Regardless, she was planning to reveal herself after the pilot episode was aired on HBO (not Netflix Lila. If your gonna lie about something, at least research it beforehand)in an interview -with proof, as many people have claimed to be MDC since then.

   She sat there in thought, when she was done thinking she responded.

  "That... that sounds like a good idea. Well, the Earth doesn't revolve around me! How is your trip going yo-"

   Suddenly, she heard footsteps and a door being slammed closed.

   She froze.

    "What was that??!"

   She’d had Carlos on speaker the entire time.

   Someone had been watching her.

    And the person must've heard everything they said.

_____________________

Hi!

So, this is my first project, and I’m not sure I wanna continue writing it. If you wanna adopt it, I don’t mind. Positive criticism is welcome! Reblog if you want idc rn.

Also, seriously, Check out the series "Autodale” created by Dead Sound on youtube. It can be a little dark, but I think most people can handle it! It’s amazing!

This is also kinda based off of the tumblr fanfic “After The Week Off”. Huge thanks to  princesslenaakaladykittuna for the link.

____________________

Anyways, have a nice day!

#lila salt #au #MDC #miraculous #class salt #ml #mlb #ml au #WTWK

[celeste-clearwater-06]

Hello! I was wondering if you could please write something about how the Fellowship (+ Thorin?) Would help a s/o who's Disabled and Chronically ill. Like she has a lot of symptoms like chronic pain, chronic fatigue, difficulty sleeping, difficulty breathing at times, difficulty walking at times, higher sensitivity to the cold, difficulty talking at times, and anxiety, depression and executive dysfunction?

I've been really struggling with my chronic illnesses lately, namely my Autism, Anxiety, Sleep Apnea, a really bad Overbite, Raynaud's Syndrome, Asthma, etc, so I'd really appreciate an Imagine like this. I have a really weird disorder where one of my legs is longer than the other, and it's been causing me a lot of pain and difficulty walking lately, and people have been bullying me for it a lot too, so I could really use a Comfort Imagine right now. Thanks so much hun!!

It's no problem! I'm glad I can provide some comfort!! For each character, I'll use a specific struggling area, to make it a bit easier!! I hope I got these accurate enough, and of there are any mistakes, feel free to point them out!! You are strong, beautiful and so, so amazing!! Keep being you!! ❤❤

Help (The Fellowship// Thorin x Fem!Reader)

Aragorn (Autism)

Aragorn has known you for a long time, so helping with your autism is not new for him

He's particularly experienced in reading your emotions and meeting your needs, whether it's helping you out of stressful situations or calming you down, he's there 🥺

If there are large and boisterous gatherings in Rivendell, its almost guaranteed that you can become over-stimulated quickly, and Aragorn immediately senses this (spidey senses õoõ)

He's fast to find your hand and give it a gentle squeeze of reassurance

If that doesn't seem to help, he'll instantly stop what he's doing and take you out of the room

If you're someone who prefers lots of space and little physical contact, he is 100% respectful of this and asks if you'll let him touch or hug you (very much gentleman 😌)

If ever you're confronted by someone of importance, Aragorn is right by your side to ease some of the tension

Sometimes there are things you find difficult to say or get out of your system

The king seems to know exactly what it is and will help you out by saying it or asking you simple questions that you can easily answer

And he always reminds you, no matter WHAT

YOU ARE NOT STUPID 😤😡

You may struggle with some parts of your life, but every day, he's constantly telling you that you're very intelligent and kind

His patience is unending and he'll never let you think down on yourself

Overall, Aragorn is always someone and reminding you that it's all going to be okay ❤❤

Legolas (Anxiety)

Most nights, Legolas keeps watch (since elves don't require much sleep) and notices that you jolt awake out of the random

Now, most of the Fellowship notices that you're usually awake and ready to go before anyone else

But Legolas is really the one to address you first

You were a bit nervous to explain, since you didn't want to worry him or the great of the fellowship, amount the other disadvantages you have

He gently encouraged you, and finally, you explained to him your sleep apnea

Yeah, he was very concerned

I mean, his blue eyes widened with terror when you told him that you could basically die in your sleep if you weren't attentive enough 🙃

Legolas, from now on, sleeps directly next to you, or keeps extra careful watch over you at night

Because he could NEVER see his precious mortal friend become injured... Or worse 🥺🥺❤

The other members had noticed a change in his behaviors towards you as well...

Gimli teased him whenever he caught Legolas giving you some extra lembas bread or offered to carry you 👉👈

You really tried to assure Legolas that it wasn't a big deal when you were awake, since you're aware of your breathing situation

But still 😤

Legolas will always bring you comfort and take great care of you, and that will NEVER CHANGE

Because he loves you very much ❤🦋

Frodo (Anxiety)

Frodo is familiar with the feeling of great anxiety, seeing he had a stress-free life while living in the Shire and suddenly was forced to carry a piece of jewelry all the way to giant ass volcano

It's easy for you two to comfort each other and seek refuge in thoughts and feelings ❤

He's not super comfortable with the thought of you having a panic attack though...

Only because he's never had one

It starts to give him a panic attack whenever you have one around him the first time 😳-

Any time you begin to breathe heavy or hyperventilate, halfling boy is hot at your heels, rubbing your back and reminding you to breathe gently

(So many hugs, if you're up for it)

After you calm down, he's constantly checking on you, asking if you need anything etc.

Really, he just wants to know if he can help 🥺

And even with the weight and stress of carrying the ring, Frodo manages to cheer you up somehow

Samwise (Asthma)

Sam has never had to deal with asthma once in his life

He's very nervous when the subject is brought, afraid it might trigger something inside of you 🥺👉👈

But you just chuckle, assure him that it's alright, and you have ways of keeping it under control

And now, he wants to know everything about it, just to have the awareness in case something happens

Sam just wants to protect you forever, and this was a great way for him to start

He constantly reminds Aragorn that you'll need breathing breaks and will convince Gandalf to let you ride on his horse

He'll scold Pip and Merry if they are trying to drag you around and be silly, because as he says

"You'll rouse him/her/them up! We can't have Y/N gettin injured!" 🤨😠

Sam is MOM

As always, he's very kind and always makes sure your needs are met ❤🥺

Pippin and Merry (Raynaud's Syndrome)

Very confused halfings 🤔

Also extremely concerned!

You were eating one of the lesser pleasurable nights

It was cold and rainy, and a fire couldn't be started, not to mention the quiet arguments of Aragorn and Gandalf in the nearby woods

And Pip's eyes widened when he saw the tips of your petite fingers begin to pale upon hearing Aragorn mention Orcs

"What's wrong with your hands?!" He squeaked, pointing towards your now white-colored fingertips

You hadn't even noticed, nor felt, considering they were numb anyways

Merry looked over his cousin's shoulder and his eyes also widened, not with fright, but wonder

They were both fascinated with your condition, convinced that you were casting some spell Gandalf showed you

Although you reassured them it was just an extremely frustrating inconvenience that you had, among other things

So from then on, the disastrobus duo did their best to keep you out of the cold (and stressful situations!!)

As a distraction, the pair will tell you great stories of the shire, doing little dances and skits that always cheer you up 🥴

Sometimes, they can be a little rambunctious though...

Merry will pick up on this fact quickly, and nudge Pippin to get him to calm down

Even though it may not feel the best

They find your syndrome absolutely fascinating!! 🤔🤔

All in all, these two are always up for keeping your beautiful smile on your face and your spirits high!! ❤🌺

Boromir (Depression)

Throughout the journey, Boromir has always found an easy way to make you smile

After all, he himself has a fascinating way of brightening anyone's spirits

Yours included ❤

Boromir may not have great stories from The Shire, like Pip and Merry, but he sure has a lot of positive things to say

He'll often suggest sparring with the two troublemaking halflings, just so you can see him goof up and get knocked over 🥺

If the nights become cold and weary, he'll give you a warm hug or a nudge on the shoulder

And a few words of helpful encouragement along the lines of;

"Don't fret Y/N. You have more strength than you'll ever know."

"Let our spirits never dampen! We've come this far!" 😊

He's also an incredible listener

Boromir wants to hear what you have to say if you ever need to rant or get something off of your chest

And don't think for a second that he would ever judge you 😤

Son of Gondor sees past all of your insecurities and knows you for your beautiful, amazing self ❤❤

Gimli (Walking disadvantages)

As you travel across great plains and mountains, your limp doesn't go unnoticed by Gimli

It may take him a while to open up about it, since he's afraid he might offend you in some way

And once he asks you, you inform him that it's a difficulty that unfortunately cannot be changed any time soon

And where you come from, lots of people tease and bully you about it

He did NOT handle it well 😳

"wHAT BLUBBERING DULL-MINDED PIGNUTS-" 🤬

Although this Dwarf is short and a bit slow at times

He's fascinatingly strong 😳

And so, he makes it his duty to be your designated carrier 🥺

At first, your a tad skeptical...

I mean, he's only around 4 feet tall...

BUT HAVE YOU SEEN HIM THROW THAT HUGE AX AROUND?!

Gimli will happily carry you great distances when you need a break, and even longer

(Sometimes it's just to show off around the others-)

"Gimli, are you sure you don't want a break?"

"Aye lass! The strength of Dwarves is unending!" 😌

*struggling to breathe*

11/10, fantastic dwarf, will never let you down!!

Thorin (Executive Dysfunction)

Another Dwarf??

Absolutely

Thorin himself has trouble keeping composure with his time management (and sense of direction 🙄)

This means that he'll have an undying amount of patience for you and you only

There's just something about you that he fond of, and it fills in that little sassy, brooding place in his heart

Can also relate to you whenever you grow frustrated at the setback of your journey or lack of sleep

Is 100% willing to help you find your lost belongings (and once again, ONLY YOU)

Thorin will literally make the whole traveling party stop so that you can put something in your bag and make sure that you put it somewhere you'll remember

Always happy to give you extra gentle reminders of keeping your pack closed

The company is utterly SHOCKED with how he treats you

I mean, this man has always been extremely stubborn and hard headed

But when you show up, it's another person he can easily relate and share frustrations with

Also a master at organization?!? 🤔

The one thing he could do successfully was organizing the damn journey and traveling company, so ofc he's gonna be good at that 😂

Yeah, Thorin definitely has a soft spot for you

King under the mountain will never run out of patience and kindness for you 😌💙

Sorry these took so long!! I hope you like them!! ❤❤

#thorin oakenshield #frodo baggins #xreader #gimli #legolas #merry brandybuck #pippin took x reader #pippin took #thorin oakenshield x reader #legolas x reader #gimli x reader #aragorn x reader #aragorn #frodo+x+reader #merry brandybuck x reader #boromir x reader #boromir #headcanons #mental illness #autismn awareness #executive dysfunction #lotr x reader #the hobbit

[bonelessghoul]

Until My Last Breath

requested by: @just-deka

summary: A heartrender in the rankings of the Crows and with an unspoken relationship with Kaz Brekker finds herself in trouble during a heist when there is a run in with the Dime Lions. When Kaz fights his way in to get her out of the mess it became, the two end up trapped and fighting for their lives. But in their last moments, the truth comes out. 

note: LMAO THIS WAS THE BEST WAY I COULD SUM UP THE REQUEST, but I was genuinely panicking at the end of this hoping this turned out the way you wanted it to!! Hope you enjoy :)

~

If you knew your life was going to end, what would you do? That would be a fun question to answer, but not if you only had minutes to live. Maybe hours. Hours was too optimistic though, and they realized that if they weren’t found soon, then the light in their eyes would be put out forever.

It was pure misery and bliss all at once as they stared at each other, the crushing weight of the rubble they were trapped under causing a flicker of fear deep in their stomachs. The things they wanted to say to each other could wrap around the world twice, but they settled with an endearing yet pained look only they knew with nothing but the space between their fingerprints reaching out to one another. It hurt to be so close and unable to touch.

If you had minutes to live, who would be the last face you’d want to see?

~

The chandeliers spaced throughout the high ceiling of the Crow Club gave a vintage touch with its dim light, making the deep red curtains around the room seem darker and masking the daylight from the outdoors. But tucked away in the second story was Kaz Brekker’s office. It was his solace away from the clamor of the club that was only muffled from where he sat hunched over his desk.

The midday crowd was already filling the club to the brim from the booths to the game tables and every space in between.  

But one figure slipped through it with ease, weaving in and out in a fresh white blouse, cinched in the middle and sleeves like balloons like an angel. It was like clockwork when you would find your way up the stairs to the office, bypassing the allure of the liquor and games Jesper engorged himself with. You were busy back in your room at the Slat, tinkering with new scraps of the latest mechanics you dug for, but like you said; your arrival was like clockwork.

Kaz, glancing at his pocket watch, stared as the thin needle of a hand rolled around the center point and as if on cue, he found YN breezing through the door with a breath of relief from squeezing through the crowd. His office smelled like remnants of firewood, the freshly brewed coffee he had filling the air. While the daylight was hidden in the club downstairs, a window was opened allowing a cool breeze and the cloudy skies to find their way into this massive space which also held a small bedroom.

As a Heartrender, you would never admit to the way Kaz’s heart would pick up whenever you were near.

“Morning.” you greeted, a handful of mail sent for him to the Slat in your hands as you crossed the space between the door and his desk.

Offering him the small stack and he took it, the shadows under his eyes seeming darker today. You were always up before the sun when your mind could not stop thinking of a new idea, and more often than not, you’d hear Kaz sneaking out in the early morning without a word.

“It’s afternoon.” he said, slyly glancing up at her as his gloved hand took the papers.

With your hands free, you sat yourself upon the very corner of his desk and looking down at the two cups of coffee still topped off with steam, one cup significantly lighter than the other. Smiling contently to yourself, you wrapped your hands around the mug and picked it up to your lips.

“Hope you got it right.”

Kaz glanced up once more as he sorted through the letters.

His eyes flickered over you for a moment, pausing from what he initially wanted to say and you could hear his heart beat in your ears as it skipped.

“Don’t worry, I made it sickening sweet.” Kaz mused, heaving a sigh as he leaned back in his chair.

“Good, I’ll slip slowly and waste more time here then.” you chuckled lightly.

You would be lying if you said you didn’t enjoy sitting on his desk, sharing a cup of coffee and hearing him rant as he read the bills, the offers from others, imported goods, the bank statements, and everything else that came with the stress of running a club, not to mention an entire gang. There as a guilty pleasure as a Heartrender that involved enjoying just how flustered became down to a cellular level , but her relationship with Kaz was different; being a Heartrender taught her how much she could push and how to know when to stop pushing given his complicated boundaries.

Admittedly, as indifferent as she made herself seem when it came to Kaz, had he been the Heartrender you would have been in trouble if he could hear your heart. Every time you saw his face at the end of a job, whenever he’d look at you as you sat like you did now, and even every little bit of your unique intimacy sent your heart racing.

It seemed there were many ways to love someone that didn’t involve touching, you thought to yourself, watching Kaz’s brows furrow in the slightest with every word he read with a bittersweet smile. But it hurt when she couldn’t hold his hand or feel his comforting arms at the end of the day.

“So, what’s on the agenda today?” you asked, clearing your throat. “Things have been awfully quiet lately.”

Kaz smirked, snickering lightly to himself as he looked up at her.

“We don’t say the words quiet around here because next thing you know, it won’t be so quiet and our hands will be full with trouble.”

You raised your brows. “Well, is something coming our way?”

The look on his face confirmed it all. A simple job was offered to the Crows and a select few Dregs of his choosing (but Kaz would tell you to round up those best for it anyway), to steal a vintage piece of jewelry just brought to  Ketterdam’s historic society display room. It was a job within a job, for the person requesting this jewelry and its unique elemental composition worth hundreds of thousands, it was the key to a bigger job after this which they hoped to secure.

“They have a pretty tight security system.” You sighed, holding up the blueprints he pulled out in front of you.

“Perhaps, you can figure it out in a more spacious area than the corner of my desk.” Kaz frowned, looking away as his chin rested in his palm. Then, only his eyes moved towards her. “I’m leaving the tight security system to you because you’re the only one who is creative enough to get by them. Inej scouted every entrance and found the source of the security system’s mechanics.”

It seemed easy, nothing you hadn’t come up with before, and an idea was already forming in your head to your excitement.

“Tinker around, get the ancient necklace, and a boat load of kruge.” You said simply, your voice only wavering in the slightest as your eyes narrowed at just how intricate the alarm system was.

Kaz stood up from his seat, taking the maps from her to wrap up and slide away in its casing.

“You should be on your way. Best to get a quick start so we can be in and out tonight.” Kaz said, handing her the cylinder casing for the blueprints.

“Oh, I’d sit here all day of you let me.” you grinned, earning an eye roll from him.

“Go.” Kaz pressed, his face more asserting now, trying to hide his own smirk.

But even as you strolled out the door, you could hear his heart rate jumping. Kaz’s eyes didn’t leave your figure on the way out, still staring out into space after the door shut. He leaned over his desk with his palms pressed into the wooden edge and his head dropped with a sigh.

Kaz Brekker was in trouble and his little Heartrender already knew.

~

There was a slightly calmer hour to be found at the Crow Club between the midday crowd leaving and night crowd slowly taking its place. In that time, you found yourself sitting at a booth and sinking into the curved red velvet seating.

You were sketching out a tool that will silence the alarm mechanisms that you had been reading up on for the past two hours. Time was running slow and your back began to ache from the position you barely moved from as you dug the lead into the parchment.

“Hey, YN! How’s it—”

“Jesper!”

Your hands frantically waved him off as his palm came down on your sprawled out pile of sketches and he jumped back, staring at you with wide eyes.

“Sorry, sorry.” You said, piling up the previous sketched of the tool you were designing, the exhaustion clear in your skiddish movements. “I have just been trying to wrap my head around this job tonight.”

Jesper smoothly slid into the booth, sitting next to you with eyes scanning over the maps. From behind, Inej approached them and slid into the booth from the other side and now, both Crows were perched upon her shoulders and looking at her work.

“The historical society in the Geldestraat is no playground.” Inej sighed.

“Oh, it’s a playground for sure, just one with little landmines at every step and Stadwatch at every corner. Then, it’s a race to the last swing on the swing set and that is our prize at the end of tonight.” Jesper ranted, his hands flailing as he spoke.

By the time he was done speaking, you and Inej stared at him, speechless.

“You must have been the child that was always bullied at playgrounds, weren’t you?” you muttered, turning your head back to the blueprints. “It’s one of the most complex, yet easiest security systems we’ve had to break into. If the necklace is on display in the spot you say it is, Inej, then this window here is our best bet.”

“Best bet for what?” Inej asked, looking at her quizzically.

Grinning, you held up the drawing of a box no bigger than your hand, the inner workings of your mind scribbled across the page.

“The window has about 5 seconds from the moment it’s opened all the way before it starts setting off an alarm which has a domino affect on the other alarms. It’s a system of bells and the window we’re going through is the start of the system. If I can forge this box to the right dimensions of the window and the string that is triggered from the window opening, then we will have a few minutes before it breaks, and the bells signal any Stadwatch in the area.”

Jesper scoffed. “Then don’t build a little tool that is going to break.”

Your hands ran over your face and instantly, you swatted at his shoulder.

“My work is impeccable, but that string is thin and ready to snap, it’s why they used it so that when the window opened, it would cut it and set off the bells.”

“Oh!” he said slowly, coming to the realization as his lips formed an o.

Even as you spoke of your plan as easily as floating down a stream, it was too good to be true. There were a dozen other factors you haven’t considered yet that made this all the more tricky. In theory, it sounded simple but getting through the window and setting up the tool in time was critical, not to mention getting to the lower level of the museum and back in time before the bells go off.

Leaning on your elbows, your shoulders sunk just a little as your mind continued to pour over the plan.

“I have to be efficient. I say we get a few minutes, give or take another fifteen minutes tops, to make it to the necklace and back without a single peep.”

Jesper glanced at Inej who was standing beside you now and looking it all over.

“Can you do that Inej?”

Immediately, the girl shook her head.

“I may be the most graceful here, but I’m surprisingly not the fastest.”

You didn’t pay any mind to the attention being shoved on you. While you wouldn’t admit it, you’ve already been thinking of it all afternoon and it left your stomach in knots.

“I’ve been walking through this all afternoon.” you sighed, a hint of defeat in your face. “Partially, I feel like taking our chances by taking these jewels in broad daylight.” you half joked.

Suddenly, your hearing focused in on a heart that almost had a third pound through his chest from the cane who always wore. That and his heartbeat both resounded through Kaz’s body with such strength, but, even when you expected him to be near, you didn’t expect him behind the booth sending the three of you with the Saints.

“We do not have the luxury of stealing things in broad daylight, YN.” Kaz said, startling everyone out of their own skin, looming over their shoulders until they he was in front of the table. “We got the jump on this before anyone else, there is no other time to do this but tonight so you all have to be ready.”

You looked up at him, slightly taken back at how high strung he was over this job, his own stressed soul infecting theirs. His eyes scanned over the three of them and then, fell on yours, but you were already looking at the hard lines in his face accentuated by his frown.

Nodding, you tore your eyes away from him and got back to work.

This job was going to break a sweat out in all of them before it even started.

~

“This one won’t explode, yes?” Kaz asked you.

Frowning at him, you waved the contraption you built in an hour Iin the air.

“Look, I know the last one did but this was a simple put together of a few different pieces. See, if you just-'

Kaz put his hand up with an exasperated look, signaling you to stop the demonstration you tried to put on by showing him the inside of your invention.

The two or you stood by one of the street level windows to the small brick building, it’s window panes and shutters painted black, and on this little side street there was no light that found its way here except the faint blue moon above their heads. Kaz had just unlocked the windows, and he stood there just inches away before he would open the window and you’d crawl in, having to be quick.

As you looked at him, you almost couldn’t distinguish who’s heart was racing faster.

Every time you tried to think of your path to the second story where the famous necklace was on display, your thoughts kept getting scrambled.

“Be fast, but not sloppy and get back here in one piece with that jewel in your hand.” Kaz said, his voice not missing a confident beat.

You nodded, smiling reassuringly and your hands nervously straightened the flaps of his wool jacket and you took a shaky breath.

“Got it. Open it up.”

With his cane, Kaz stepped towards the window and gave you one last look as you prepared to jump from the crate and through the opening. Even the first story was a bit of a height difference from the street, but you were quick and had the jumping skill set needed.

Kaz nodded at her and without a moment to waste, Kaz opened the window and you sprinted in, your foot pressing into the crate, pushing off of it and your hands clutching the windowsill to guide you in with ease. There was only a few seconds left and you leaped up to the top of the window, watching as the string that held together their alarm system was growing taught and with your heart pounding, your arm shot out to grab it before it snapped and finally, you could let out a breath or relief.

“Did it work?” Kaz asked, peaking his head through the window

Your tongue was peaking through your lips as you focused intently on wrapping the string in your contraption without moving it too much, settling it against the window secured in place like it were a second addition to big metal box against the wall that was the start it.

“YN!” he hissed.

You shushed him, beads of sweat forming at your temples, slowly leaning back as you released your invention that would keep the string in place, everything seemingly more quiet than normal.

That was good though, the silence being a sign that it was working.

Leaping down, you faced Kaz on the other side of the window and smiled at him, giving a wave of the hand in the form of a salute.

“See ya in a minute.”

Kaz grinned at you, but you turned and ran before you could hear him say a word.

The historical society was an old mansion, when they were a little smaller back in the day, converted into a museum. The hardwood floors and floral carpets were the original, the walls having been painted over a baby blue and hung with artwork that dated before Ketterdam was even recognized on the map. Everyone believed they were copies though.

You came out to the front entrance, a massive open space with a chandelier made of diamonds that sparkled and cast sharp little reflections around the room from the moon that shone in through the window above the tall double doors.

Holding your breath, you slowly looked around, not a single sound or movement to be made.

It was clear and you were set to take off up the stairs, careful not to place your hand along the railing. At the top of the stairs, it split into two hallways but you need not worry about which one to go down because the jewels were sitting in a small case, overlooking the home. They were meant to be in a room down the hall, having yet to be put on display, but it seems your job just got easier.

With a devious, proud grin across your lips, you looked at the ember colored jewels sat into the heavy golden necklace, and even you had to take a moment to admire it’s beauty as if there was a fire burning in each and every individual stone. But, you glanced at the pocket watch you had stolen from Kaz years ago and knew you only had a minute of assurance that the alarm wouldn’t go off before you had to run back

With gloved hands, you lifted the glass boxand plucked the jewel out from it.

In one swift move you placed the glass back and turned around, ready to bolt down the stairs, but two gunshots shattered your senses and while you couldn’t understand why at first, you were sent hurdling down the stairs with no control of your body.

Kaz was growing impatient standing in the alleyway, anxiously checking his watch, counting down the minutes. It shouldn’t have taken this long, and he knew that you knew that as well. Maybe they hid the necklace after the museum closed or maybe they haven’t even had the chance to put it out yet, but Kaz was not looking forward to having to jump to their plan B.

“Dammit, YN" he hissed, glancing through the window into the dark hallway.

But the sound of guns being fired sent him in a frenzy and without waiting a second, Kaz climbed through the window fearing the worst.

By the time you landed, rolling to a stop, the wind had been knocked out of you, pain started surging through your backside from your left hip to right shoulder blade, and left you dizzy and gasping for air. Still clutched in your hands was the necklace, and you tried to focus on how many heartbeats were in the room, but you couldn’t concentrate with the pain you were in.

“Lock her up, she’s a Heartrender.” said a man with a thick Kerch accent that sent her stomach in knots.

“No.” you painfully gasped, trying to bring your hands together.

But one boot came stomping down on the wrist that held the necklace and your screamed out in pain as your shattered bones grinded against. Suddenly, your numb fingers could no longer find the golden chain as it was taken from your hands in Pekka Rollins came into view.

“I’ll be taking that, darling. Thanks for doing the work for us!”

As Pekka stood over you, his shadowed face looking down at you with a horrid grin that made your blood boil. Your hand was shaking as you tried to bring them together, but he waved his finger in front of your face.

“Don’t even try it or a bullet will be put in your head the moment you even move a muscle.” he threatened.

At the sound of a cane smacking into a man’s skull, your head sharply turned as you lay on the ground, watching Kaz storm into the room and begin fighting the Dime Lions that charged at him.

“Kaz, no!” you cried out, your heart nearly lurching from your chest.

It was only moments before two of them seized Kaz, bringing him down on his knees. Tears pricked your eyes as you watched them relentlessly dig their fists into every part of his body, his head refusing to fall in defeat.

“What a surprise, Mr.Brekker.” Rollins taunted, strolling over to him. “I worried you might have been here before we were when your little Wraith hijacked our meeting with the buyer, but I figured, why not sit back and let you do the work for us?”

Kaz glared up at Pekka, his eyes flickering to you as you lay there, a gun pointed to your head at the hands of another Dime Lion and you watched his face drain of all its color.

“Not her.” Kaz said unconsciously, the words passing through his lips like he were thinking out loud. 

That was their first mistake.

“I didn’t know the Dregs at a Heartrender in their rankings.” Pekka said, observing Kaz’s faulty eyes, glancing back at you with a smug grin. “That sounds a bit like cheating.” But then, he shrugged and his head rolled back to Kaz. “Bah, what do I care? She won’t make it much longer, but you? If you manage to crawl out of this mess, I might have a little more respect for ya.”

You didn’t know what mess Pekka Rollins was referring to, but your backside was already aching, blood seeping through your clothes now as you lay on the cold floor.

Kaz was writhing in their grips, bloody murder written across his face as he seemed to make his way out of one of their grasps and just as you thought he would have won, a gun shot rang through the air and made you jump.

Despite all the pain, you watched as Kaz crumpled to the ground and your body instantly shot up, wincing as Pekka kicked him in the face. But another shot resounded through the air, and you collapsed back on the ground with your hand still reaching for him, your leg now feeling useless as the bullet lodged itself in your calf. You watched as Kaz roll in his back, face contorted with pain.

The tears began to fall and you lay there, looking at him, waiting for his eyes to open and look back at you.

“Let’s leave, boys. Blow the place on the way out.”

That order sent a chill through your body and you helplessly watched them walk away.

“Kaz…” you weakly croaked out, watching him begin to prop himself up, one hand holding his stomach. “Kaz, we need to go.”

As you tried to shuffle towards him, every muscle in your body screaming with pain, you were only inches away from your fingertips reaching the lapels of his coat. Kaz looked at you, his eyes wide, but the moment he reached out for you, a blast shook the entire building and the last thing you saw was the walls crumbling down around you.

~

“YN!”

The voice was muffled, just barely heard over the ringing over your ears. Slowly, your eyes blinked open, and you couldn’t feel a thing as you watched the dark blue twilight sky above your head. It was almost peaceful, the sky lightening ever so lightly that you could make out the thick clouds that were almost black against the backdrop of the sky.

But then, the sharp scent of smoke that clouded your lungs and the irony taste of blood in your mouth took you away from your blissful moment and thrusted you into one of sheer panic as it crawled up your spine.

“YN!”

The ringing stopped and you could hear the cackling of flames and rubble grinding against each other now, turning your head to see Kaz.

Soot streaked his face; the panic you felt now visible in his widened eyes and the way his lips hung open like he was staring at a ghost. Your hands were merely inches from each other now and all around, the ceiling lay in shambles, the chandelier at your heads spreading its little diamonds across the space between you two. For a moment you wonder if that was what spared you two from the wood and stone that lay around you, but when you looked, you see that wood was piercing your thigh and the door lay over your ankle.

“Kaz.” you said shakily, looking back at him.

It was amazing how you couldn’t feel a thing, but that was probably good.

You two stared at each other, panting and clearly at a loss of what to do, except all you two could do was look at each other.

If you knew your life was going to end, what would you do? That would be a fun question to answer, but not if you only had minutes to live. Maybe hours. Hours was too optimistic though, and they realized that if they weren’t found soon, then the light in their eyes would be put out forever.

It was pure misery and bliss all at once as you stared at each other, the crushing weight of the rubble they were trapped under causing a flicker of fear deep in their stomachs. The things they wanted to say to each other could wrap around the world twice, but they settled with an endearing yet pained look only they knew with nothing but the space between their fingerprints reaching out to one another. It hurt to be so close and unable to touch.

If you had minutes to live, who would be the last face you’d want to see?

“Don’t look at my like that, YN.” Kaz grunted, trying to pull himself up. “Don’t look at me like you’re going to die.”

The bruises scattered across his face and the blood that soaked through his shirt were clear as day, but he seemed unphased as he tried to move closer.

You faintly smirked at him, feeling a trickle of blood from the corner of your lip.

“I think only you could look like an angel even when a building exploded around us.”

Kaz saw you smile through the pain, and every effort to be strong he tried to put up was whisked away by the look on your face as his shoulders fell. He could have collapsed back to the floor, letting the sleep take him away, had it not been for the way you smiled at him. Of course, he was in pain too, but it was insurmountable to the pain caused by the sight before him. His heart raced, wondering just how he would manage to drag the two of you out of this as his own limbs grew weary and tired from trying to sit up.

“I think you should get a demo man, Jesper always wanted one.”

Kaz, exhaled, letting out a brief chuckle.

“Why should I when half of your inventions explode anyway? We’ll have plenty more to come.”

There was a tinge of fear to his voice, hidden by the hope that you would make it til morning, and you could hear it; he didn’t want to lose you. He couldn’t let Pekka Rollins take someone else from him, even if it meant waiting until his last breath to take his life.

You rolled your eyes at him, the pain slowly starting to return as you gazed at the ceiling.

You kept your heart beating, your blood flowing, but you tried to pull yourself closer to Kaz only to sink back into the floor with defeat and suddenly, your chest started to rise and fall quicker. This couldn’t be it. You were stronger than this. You had to survive—if not for the Crows, but for him. Perhaps, you were being too hopeful after all.

“Kaz.” you croaked out, looking back at him with the tears threatening to pour out of your eyes.

“YN, we will be okay.” he said, his voice stern as if he could read your mind.

Suddenly, when he was within reach, you clasped his gloved hand and forced as much life into him as you could, watching him become caught off guard as his heart began to race.

“No.” he pleads.

Kaz tried to pull away, but you wouldn’t let him.

“You need to conserve your energy. We need to get out of here before the Stadwatch find us in the middle of this.”

“I’m saving you so you can save the both of us!” you argued, using his hand to pull yourself a little closer, both of you straining to bring yourselves together. But you paused for a moment, trying to catch your breath. “One of us needs to make it out of here tonight and I’m the only one who can make sure of it.”

Kaz finally pulls his hand away, and you watch him fight against everything that brought him down to sit up, leaning his back on the heavy chandelier and the remnants of the ceiling that supported it. He shut his eyes for a moment, and you watch the connection between you break as he becomes overly drained, still thinking desperately of a way out of this. As he sat there, you too fought against the pain coursing through every nerve of your body, the bullets lodged within you taunting your beaten soul as you tried to sit yourself up too. The cracked bones in your wrist made you gasp when you tried to put pressure on it, but you fought through it for one last push as you sat yourself up against the chandelier just a foot away with him.

“I cannot leave here alone. I can’t go back if you’re not with me.” Kaz said slowly, his head turning to you.

Now that you two were closer to each other, you could see just how hurt he was.

You opened your mouth to speak, ready to grasp his hand again, but blood spattered through your lips as you coughed it up.

Black spots danced across your vision, and you slowly start to fall over.

Kaz’s breath hitched, and his arms moved before he could even think to do so, dragging you towards him.

The moment you felt his arms around you, you came back to your senses, looking up at him from where your head lay on his chest.

“Kaz, you don’t—”

“I-I have to.” He says, shuddering slightly.

Kaz’s mind could not seem to push away the suffocating feeling your touch brought, and he found himself looking away, trying to fight off the horrifying memories of the ocean swallowing him whole. 

But he squeezed you tight, all flesh and bone still warm with life, trying to push out the gruesome images of his last memories with Jordie. You were alive in his arms, and he wouldn’t live to see the day you weren’t despite their odds right now.

For so long, you dreamed of the day Kaz could hold your hand, even let his knuckles brush by yours. But you never thought this is how it would go.

“It’s because I’m dying, isn’t it?”

Yes.

Kaz looks down at you, already accepting the defeat of the night, and he is almost too horrified to speak as your eyes seemed calmer now than from the second you finally regained consciousness.

“It’s because—”

He pauses, looking away from you and you hang on to every word.

The only thing he wanted to do was hold you, hating himself for never doing it sooner.

“It’s okay, Kaz.” you smile sadly. “There was going to be a day when I’d watch you all grow old and leave me, but if I don’t make it through this, at least I won’t have to watch that happen.”

There was a million things you could say, a million things you built up for years since the day you saw him. In all that time you never imagined it all coming down to this and you were just so tired, but you wanted to hear him say the words.

“But I want to hear you say it.” You said, your voice growing quiet.

No matter how much you tried to justify letting go, you didn’t want to. Your heart beat for him as you looked up at him and all you wanted to do was hear him say those words.

As your eyelids became heavy, you tried to focus on the way your heart beat alongside his, pressing your hand against his chest so that you could fight for the two of you, but his heart was already racing. You loved the sound of it, remembering every time you would hear it jump the moment you stepped into a room.

“I’m afraid we don’t have enough time for me to hold you and tell you the words you want to hear.”

Kaz was fighting for his life and his urge to finally tell the truth about everything. The way he hated when you’d sit on his desk, play with his jacket when there was a slight hair out of place, and he hated how even now you were fighting to keep both of you alive. But there was the way he loved watching you outwit everyone of the Dregs when they played at the tables, the way he loved when you’d doze off in his office after a long day of working with your tools and so much more he hated himself for only paying attention to now.

“Are you going to make me do everything?” you ask, weakly smiling, hiding your face as your hot tears stained his chest.

You could feel him smile, and you could also feel your energy draining by the second.

“I love you, Kaz. Until my last breath.” you said, fearing this would be your last.

The words were on both of their minds, yet, Kaz couldn’t wrap his head around it and when you said it, his lips parted ever so slightly, staring ahead at the rubble as if that was the biggest shock to come of the night. Those words were foreign to him, they belonged to a shell of who he was and he couldn’t allow himself to accept it. His heart ached though, almost wanting to hear it again from your lips.

But then, when his heart suddenly slowed and he felt your hand leave his chest, Kaz looked down at you in a panic.

“YN…” he whispered urgently.

“I’m here.” you murmured; your eyes closed.

It felt so nice to shut them for a moment.

Kaz looked down at you, everything in him spinning, and he was ready to march you out of here now to get help but even then, as he tried to move, the pain in his body kept him grounded. Sighing in defeat, he smacked his head against the back of the chandelier and rubble he leaned upon, wanting to scream or yell and curse the world for making him so weak. His mind lingered back to the waters, Jordie’s molted and rotten skin at his fingertips, while he kicked back to the harbor swimming against all odds.

“I love you too, YN.” he said, the words cutting through the silence around them.

Deep down, he didn’t want to say the words out loud, knowing they might be the last he says to you. He yearned for more time to love you, to stroke the hair off your face as he did now as the corner of your lips turned upwards. 

It made him forget to breathe as he frantically searched around, wondering if there was a way out.

But the exhaustion was tearing him apart and he looked down at you one last time, the smile off your face as your head rolled slightly. 

It wasn’t long before his eyes closed too.

~

“I found them!” 

The Dregs were scouring the rubble after they heard the explosion from the rendezvous point, Jesper and Inej running back after seeing that the two of you never made it. 

When the pair heard one of the Dregs call out, the pair exchanged a worried look before pushing through the remnants of the mansion. They feared they would find your mangeled bodies waiting for them, but they skidded to a halt when they saw something else entirely.

Jesper’s face fell, as Inej’s hand clamped over her mouth, watching as Rotty checked their pulses, the man’s hands shaking as they checked. 

“They’re still breathing!” Rotty shouted with relief. “Let’s move them out of here, they’re hurt pretty bad.”

But Inej and Jesper could not move just yet, staring with teary eyes from the overwhelming release of the weight on their shoulders. You sat curled up alongside Kaz, his arms wrapped around you, holding so tightly they could have swore he turned to stone. 

There was no time to waste though, and they ran to you and Kaz to drag the two of you out to safety. 

#kaz brekker #kaz brekker x reader #kaz brekker x you