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heavyhitterheaux · 8 months

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The Marriage Pact Part 3

For Better of For Worse (Slight NSFW)

Read Part 1 and Part 2 first

Synopsis: Urban urges for Jack to tell you a secret that he's been holding onto, but of course someone else tells you before he does and all hell breaks loose

Pairing: Fiancé!Jack Harlow x Fianceé!Reader

Series Masterlist

Please Do Not Repost My Content Anywhere

Jack had now been on tour for two months and it was around 12 am when all of you were on the plane heading to Prague. Jack and Urban were the only ones awake as you were currently laying on Jack's chest on the couch that was perched in the back of the plane. He was currently scrolling through his phone looking for a necklace that he wanted to buy you since he noticed that you had been eyeing similar ones when Urban came and sat across from him and simply looked at him before saying anything.

"Did you tell her yet?" Urban asked and Jack looked over at him with wide eyes and gestured to you sleeping on his chest.

"Cut the shit. She's sleeping so I know she can't hear us." Urban said in response as he rolled his eyes.

"To answer your question, no I haven't told her."

"Are you? Are you fucking serious? The two of you have been engaged for almost five months! Don't you think that's important to let your future wife know!?"

"Of course I think it's important! I just… didn't think she would actually say yes when I proposed to her."

"You still should have had a plan in place! Like come on, did you really think she was going to tell you no? It's Y/N we're talking about."

"I know, I know! I'll tell her soon."

"You need to tell her like today when we land. She's probably going to be so pissed at you. No not probably, she definitely will."

"I just…. We're in a good place right now and I don't want to do anything to mess that up."

"You not being honest with her is messing it up. Now what if she suddenly decides to go public with it? Then what? And once again did you forget about your future wife being your manager? She could make this go away with the snap of her finger since it's not true. You haven’t seen her since last year, right?"

Jack didn't say anything in response and Urban simply hung his head.

"Sooo since you're quiet there's a possibility that it could be true!? What the actual fuck?"

"I saw her a week before I proposed."

"You… you cannot be serious? And you fucked her knowing that you were going to propose!? What the hell is wrong with you!?"

"And I haven't met up with her since. I completely cut her off."

"Yeah until she sent you that sonogram pic."

"It's not mine."

"And how do you know exactly? You fucked her didn't you?"

"But I used protection. I'm not stupid."

"I beg to differ. Y/N is going to kick your ass about this. That's why I was so concerned when you told me that you two made a marriage pact.. Ain't no way in hell she would have said yes if she knew this beforehand. All your one night stands are about to come out as soon as you announce that you’re engaged. It’s literally only a matter of time."

"Just don't tell her."

"It's not my place to tell her but you better prepare yourself before you do. We've all seen Y/N pissed and it's never been directed at you and now it will be."

All Jack did was look down at you sleeping on his chest and simply sighed.

How was he supposed to tell his soon to be wife that there was a chance he could have a kid on the way? Deep down, he knew it wasn’t his, but he also knew for a fact that you weren’t going to be satisfied until there was a negative DNA test put in front of you.

And since he was now on tour, who knows how long it would be until he was able to get one.

Her name was Gabrielle and Jack was floored when he first laid eyes on her. She wasn't anything compared to you, but for a one night stand she would have to do. He met her at one of his shows in Atlanta and they eventually went out on a date that was actually set up by you so Jack would be able to avoid paparazzi or anyone seeing him.

You met her and thought that she was a nice girl, and didn't think anything else of it. Jack had hooked up with her numerous times with the last time being a week before he proposed to you and the next day he told her that they couldn't see each other anymore. He thought that she took the news well because she didn't seem fazed by it. It wasn't until last week when he was with Urban and got a text from her saying that she was pregnant and that it could be his. His heart immediately jumped in his throat knowing that there was a good possibility that you would leave him once he told you, but at the same time it happened when the two of you weren't even together.

So he thought to himself that you couldn’t be but so mad at him.

On the other hand, since he knew you so well he knew that as soon as he told you that shit would hit the fan and this was about to be hard for him to wiggle out of.

His main thing was breaking your trust. He had told you once he had proposed to you that getting hurt in relationships would be a thing of the past, but the two of you didn’t even make it down the aisle yet and this was happening.

He knew that he had to tell you and soon before you found out from someone else that wasn't him.

That was literally the last thing he wanted.

"Before the day is over, you need to tell her."

“I don’t know if it’s that simple.”

“It won’t be because she’ll probably want to murder you. And I am all for letting her at you because what you did was fucking stupid. You know I always have your back, but right now you’re on your own. Oh, and you better hope that she doesn’t tell Ari.”

Jack had been on edge since all of you touched down in Prague and you couldn’t put your finger on as to why. He typically didn't keep anything from you and your plan was to get it out of him one way or another because you always did. Between you and Urban, he couldn’t keep anything from the two of you for very long.

The two of you were currently in your hotel room resting before he had his show tonight when you cornered him as he was sitting near the window staring off into space. You could tell that he was upset no matter how hard he was trying to hide it.

"Babe."

"Yes?"

"What's wrong?" You asked as you came over to him and started to play in his curls.

"I'm fine. Just a little tired, that's all." He replied while shrugging but you weren’t buying it.

All you did was cross your arms and look down at him.

"How long have I known you?"

"My entire life."

"So don't you think I know when you're lying to me?"

"I promise that I'm fine and that you have no need to worry."

“Easier said than done. But I’ll let it slide for now. I’ll get it out of you sooner or later because I always do.” You answered while kissing his cheek and he smiled at you.

"I love you more than anything and don't ever forget that." Jack quietly said and it left you wondering what he was getting at.

"I love you too and why would I ever forget it?"

"No reason, but just in case. No matter what happens your happiness is always going to be my priority."

"And the exact same goes for you. Did you want to sleep for a bit before your show and then we can get food after?" You asked and Jack quickly nodded his head.

"Will you lay down with me though?"

"Of course I will."

You got comfortable on the bed with Jack following suit and laying on your chest as you played in his hair in order to get him to fall asleep faster.

About fifteen minutes had passed when you noticed that Jack’s breathing had slowed down so you took the opportunity to set an alarm on your phone and drift off too so that you would have energy for later.

Jack's second show out of three was currently underway in Prague as you were watching from the side of the stage. You had always admired his confidence and was in awe every single time that he performed.

There was only about fifteen minutes left in his set when you heard him say something that caught you off guard.

"Hold on. I'm almost done, but I want to brag a little bit and for good reason. So, I finally got my shit together and did something that I wanted to do for years. Yall know my best friend Y/N who is also my manager? I mean Urb is my best friend too but this isn't about him and needs to wait his turn." Jack said while laughing and the crowd erupted in screams as you looked to Urban to see what was going on, but all he did was shrug his shoulders.

"She's been in my life literally since I was eight days old and has always been there for me and as we grew older, my love for her did also. So, what did I do? Buy her an engagement ring and held onto it for an entire damn year because I was scared that she was going to say no. But, I finally grew some balls five months ago on her birthday and asked her."

"Oh shit. I had no idea he was going to do this." Urban thought out loud and for good reason, because he knew something that you didn't.

"I didn't either, but is it really a bad thing?" You asked Urban as you turned towards him and all he gave you was a tight lipped smile. But however, you didn't think anything of it

"Oh, I'm keeping you in suspense aren't I? Well she also decided that she wanted to wake up next to me for the rest of her life so come next year, I'm about to be a married man. I'm not asking her to come out here because she hates being the center of attention, but Y/N…" Jack said as he turned to look at you on the side of the stage as you stood next to Urban.

"I love you and thank you for saying yes for marrying me. You've made me the happiest man on earth."

You quickly mouthed the words 'I love you too.' Before you heard someone scream in the crowd.

"And it's about fucking time!"

"I know, I know and I agree!" Jack responded and laughed.

"But for now let me finish so I can go and love up on my future wife. I'm never going to get tired of saying that."

By the time all of you got back to the hotel it was around one in the morning and Jack could tell that you were fighting to keep your eyes open seeing as you had to be up in about six hours. One thing that happened while Jack was touring was you not being able to get a lot of sleep. You embraced it however seeing as not many people got an opportunity like this and the last thing you wanted to do was take it for granted.

Once the both of you were in your shared hotel room, you slipped off your shoes along with your jewelry, except for your engagement ring and simply sat on the edge of the bed and stared at it for a few minutes before starting to play with it and twist it around your finger. Jack took notice of this and also how quiet you were being and was concerned that something was wrong.

“Umm, babe? You okay over there? Why are you just staring off into space like that?”

“I’m okay.”

“Wait, you’re not pissed at me right? Because of what I did earlier? I should have asked you before I did it but I figured that it’s almost been five months and….”

“Jack, calm yourself. I’m not mad. I swear that you always stress yourself out over the tiniest things.” You said while laughing as you took note of how much he had started freaking out.

“Well I had to make sure, but you’re obviously thinking about something so what is it?”

You took a deep breath before answering him and you felt like it was the right time since you had been thinking long and hard about it since the night of your birthday when he proposed.

“I’m ready.”

“Ready for what?” Jack answered you while looking at you with a confused look on his face.

All you did was stare at him until it finally clicked.

“Oh…OH! Oh… are you… are you absolutely sure? Because the last thing I want to happen is for you to regret it.”

“Why would I regret it if it was with you?”

“I just want for you to be…”

You immediately cut him off and grabbed his hand as he sat down next to you.

“I am and I wouldn’t say anything to you until I was. That’s what you told me to do right?”

“Yes, but…”

“But what?”

“I don’t have any condoms with me because I thought that you were actually going to wait until we were married.”

“I’m on birth control so that isn’t a problem.”

“And you’re sure that you’re ready?”

All you did was nod in response and you loved how thoughtful and caring that he was.

“Shit, I told you that I was going to make this extra special, but now…”

“It’s going to be special because it’s you. End of.”

All Jack did was smile at you before leaning over to kiss you as you felt your heart begin to flutter. Once he had broken apart from you, he motioned for you to move towards the top of the bed. When you were he simply went to hover over you as he leaned down to kiss you once more.

“And at any time you want me to stop, just tell me, okay?” Jack quietly said to you as he began to stroke your cheek. Once you nodded, he leaned down to kiss you again and slowly started to make his way down your neck and to your cleavage that was poking out of your dress. Jack didn’t say it to you out loud, but he had been eyeing you in your dress since the moment you put it on.

“May I?” Jack politely asked and as soon as you had given him the okay to do so, he slipped the dress from over top of your head and took in the sight before him as you didn’t wear a bra with it and only a black thong.

Jack then went back to placing kisses along your body and as he got lower, your heart rate then began to increase knowing what was about to happen.

He played with the band on the side of your thong before looking up at you and making sure that it was okay before going to slide it off. Once he did, he threw it across the room and simply peered down to look at you.

“You’re beautiful, baby. Inside and out. I’m about to get you ready for me, okay?”

“Okay.”

Jack then slowly inserted two of his fingers inside of you while kissing you at the same time. Feeling how wet you were only made his erection start to become painful seeing as he hadn’t been with anyone over the past five months and simply waited for you to be ready for him.

“And now why am I the only one who doesn't have any clothes on?” You curiously asked as Jack smiled before he leaned up away from you and reached down to pull his shirt over his head to throw it in the same direction that he threw your dress in.

“Now, we can’t have that, can we?”

“No we definitely can’t.”

Jack then hopped off the bed in order to take off his jeans and boxer briefs along with them and you were amazed at the sight as Jack quickly began stroking himself. You could see the precum leaking from the tip, but your focus was on how he was going to fit.

Jack saw the look on your face and immediately knew what you had been thinking as soon as your eyes had gone wide.

“Yes, baby it’s going to fit. That’s what you’re thinking isn’t it?”

All you did was nod before answering him.

“But how?” You quietly asked not 100% believing him.

“I’m going to go slow and take my time, that’s how.” He answered as he once again got on top to hover over you.

“Now, are you ready?”

You simply nodded as Jack told you to spread your legs a little bit more in order to give him room.

When he first inserted himself into you, it felt weird and didn’t hurt, but once he began to move further, you felt that first sting.

“Shit.” You muttered as you tightly squeezed your eyes shut.

“It’s going to be uncomfortable for a minute, but if you want me to stop, all you have to do is tell me.”

“No, keep going.”

“Just a little bit longer, baby. I’m almost there.” Jack said as he began to kiss you to take your mind off of it.

Once he was, he stopped moving in order for you to breathe for a second since he could tell that you were in pain.

“Whenever you’re ready for me to move, let me know.” He said as he placed kisses all along your neck and down the valley of your breasts. Another minute or so has passed when you felt as if you were ready for him to continue.

“Okay, I’m good now.”

“Now let me show you how much I love you and how much you mean to me.”

You woke up wrapped in Jack’s arms as he was lightly snoring in your ear and turned to your left so that you could get your phone and check for any messages that might have been sent to you after you fell asleep. It was around eight in the morning and you knew that you had a full day ahead of you and wanted to get an early start no matter how much you wanted to lay and stay in Jack’s arms.

Since Jack had announced your engagement last night at his show, the notifications had been flooding in, but there was a particular one that caught your eye. Your heart rate ended up increasing and you were trying to steady your breathing as you shook Jack awake. Because he needed to explain this and explain it now.

“Jack, get up.”

“Hmm, you want to go for another round? Give me five more minutes.”

“Jackman, NOW.”

“Okay, okay. Damn, so impatient this morning. I’ll eat you out for as long as you want so I can get rid of that attitude.” He replied while laughing as he turned to look at you and by the look that you were giving him, he knew that something was wrong.

“What’s…. Wrong? Why are you looking at me like that?”

“So you’ve been lying to me?” You asked quietly while Jack was looking at you confused.

“Baby, lying about what? What do I have to lie to you for?”

“Then who the fuck is Gabrielle and why is she saying that you are her baby daddy and tagging you in a sonogram picture of her baby?”

Jack then sat up and turned towards you and tried to take your hand, but you immediately snatched it away from him.

“Hold on, babe. I can explain.”

“Then start fucking explaining and this better be one hell of a good explanation in order for me to not kick your ass.”

“We hooked up a few times and I….”

“When was the last time you saw her?” You asked while wrapping the sheet around you and looking at him for an explanation.

“Um…”

“Jackman, you better not lie to me because I will find out sooner or later and you know that I’m good for it so out with it.”

“A week before I proposed to you.”

You immediately looked away from Jack and simply peered down at your hands in your lap and didn’t bother to respond.

“But, I didn’t know if you were going to say yes or not! And….”

“So you had sex with her knowing that you were getting ready to propose to me without protection and want me to be okay with this? Did I get that right?”

“I wore protection and there is no way that the baby is mine, I promise. You have to believe me baby.”

“Well, didn’t you have sex with her?”

“Yes, but I wore protection like I said!”

“Condoms are only 99% effective so there is a chance that the baby could be yours and you had still been in communication with her so you knew about this shit and didn’t bother to tell me? Your best friend? Future wife? And your FUCKING MANAGER?”

“So, what was I supposed to say? Hey baby, I think I got a girl pregnant who I had a one night stand with?”

“Yes! That is literally exactly what you say! So you were about to just show up with a baby at our house one day and say this is my kid?!”

“For you to throw the ring at me and leave me? I…..”

“You know me better than that and I’ve put up with your shit for how long? The fiance in me might kick your ass and leave you, however manager me is going to try and save your career!”

“I’ll just get a DNA test and this can all go away.”

“Didn’t you make her sign an NDA then why the hell is she posting all of this?”

“Um…. about that….”

“HAVE I TAUGHT YOU NOTHING SINCE YOU’VE BEEN IN THIS INDUSTRY? WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK JACKMAN?!”

“I know it looks bad, but….”

“That’s putting it lightly! You take my virginity one night and the next day I learn that my future husband has been lying to me, possibly has a baby on the way, and also doesn’t get his one night stands to sign NDA’s so that they can embarrass me on social media!”

“Why are you making this about you?! It’s my career that could get tarnished over this! And we weren’t even together when I hooked up with her!"

“So, you obviously don’t care how this affects me? Got it. My last name is about to be Harlow in case you fucking forgot and your career? The career that I MANAGE in case you forgot about that part too. We might have not been together but you knew that you were going to propose to me so make it make sense!"

“Okay, baby I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that but… I’m sorry for keeping this from you.”

“This is what has been bothering you since we landed isn’t it? And I gave you plenty of chances to tell me but you decided not to.”

“Because I didn’t know how you were going to react!”

“So, you let me find out by her tagging me and you in the sonogram pic on instagram? You could have told me this before you had sex with me. I just feel used and disgusted. I thought I knew you better than that but I guess not. The fact that you know that I always have your back and do anything for you but you decide to hide this from me? We're supposed to be a team, Jackman."

“I….”

“Do me a favor. Listen to me and listen to me good. I do not want to see you, hear your voice, or even be around someone that simply utters your name for the rest of the day while I try to do my best and be a good manager and fix the mess that you created because you wanted to get your dick wet. Get out and go to Urban's room.”

“But, babe….”

You simply shook your head at him and made your way to the bathroom as you slammed the door behind you while locking it.

Jack sighed and ran a hand through his curls as he could hear you start to cry in the bathroom not knowing how in the world he was about to fix this. He gathered all of his things while sliding on his sweatpants before making his way towards Urban’s room. He knocked a few times and Urban finally opened it while looking confused.

“Why are you over here?” He asked while moving to the side and letting him in and seeing that he had all of his bags with him.

“She found out through an instagram post and told me that she didn’t want to see me for the rest of the day.”

“About Gabrielle?”

“Yes.”

“I told you to tell her when we landed! Why did you wait so long in the first place?!”

“I… I don’t know.”

“How are you supposed to get out of this one? Because it is literally all over social media.” Urban said as he scrolled through his timeline on instagram.

"The only thing I can think of is doing a DNA test but I'm not back in Atlanta for another two months."

"And you know good and damn well not to ask Y/N to fly her out here in order to get it or have you fly back just for a test."

"I broke her trust and I have no idea how to get her to forgive me."

"She probably wouldn't have been as mad at you if you had been the one to tell her and not social media."

"And not to mention she finds out after we had sex for the first time last night."

"This literally just keeps getting worse." Urban responded as he hung his head.

"But that's not the worst part."

"How!? How is it not?!"

"Because that was her first time ever so she told me this morning that she felt used."

"You are such a dumbass. And I can see why she felt like that! You had literally been fucking Gabrielle up to the point where you proposed."

"I guess I'll just give her space but how is that even possible? She literally always has to be around me."

"You better get her a lot of expensive gifts in order for her to forgive you."

"I literally just bought her a car. And besides you know that isn't her thing. I'm better off actually making her something."

"Well get her a private jet next. Shit, I don't know. But if you make something that better be one hell of an arts and crafts project. That shit better be good enough to put in a museum. See I don't have these problems because I'm not a dumbass like you."

"I beg to differ, but okay."

Meanwhile, once you had gotten out of the shower and had gotten dressed, your phone alerted you to a text from Chris who was also Jack’s manager but taught you everything you knew in order to be able to handle things without him and be with Jack full time per Jack’s request.

Chris- Meet me in the lobby of the hotel and grab Jack

You- Is something wrong? Why are you even here?

Chris- I know you've seen it trending that's why I'm here

You- It literally broke less than 24 hours ago so you aren't even about to let me do my job?

Chris- Just meet me downstairs so we can talk

You rolled your eyes at his response and sent a quick text to Urban to tell Jack to meet you downstairs in the lobby. Once you got down there, you saw him conversing with Chris and a woman who you had never seen before. Once you reached them, Chris smiled at you.

"Y/N! Okay good everyone is here so we can go to the restaurant in the hotel to talk and Y/N this is Neelam and I'm bringing her on to manage Jack as well."

"Hi, it's nice to meet you." Neelam said, but you as well as Jack looked at Chris in disbelief.

"Uh, you too but um what? So you think I'm incapable of doing my job?" You questioned Chris as your arms were crossed.

"Y/N that isn't it at all. I know you can do your job well since I taught you everything that you know. I just figured you could use extra help since…."

"Since what?"

"Well since you two are now engaged, I don't want anything clouding your judgment as it relates to Jack’s career. I mean you two were close before, but now it's completely different."

"What does that even mean? My judgment has never been clouded before. His career is just as important to him as it is to me. I will always do what is best for him." You fired back and Chris simply sighed as Neelam was standing there awkwardly while Jack was scratching the back of his neck.

"Y/N, it's just to give you help."

Despite you not wanting to speak to him, you turned to Jack for an explanation.

"Did you know about this?"

"Me and Chris had talked about it, but I didn't…."

"So no one wants to be an adult and communicate around here? And tell me things that are going on? Okay, got it. Wonderful."

"Babe…." Jack started to say, but you simply held up your hand.

"Y/N, just come on so we can talk about this. I didn't mean to blindside you, but I thought Jack had at least mentioned it."

"Clearly all of the talking was done without me so it can continue to be done without me. Why would he mention that when he didn't even mention the possible baby he has on the way? You know what? Yall can figure it out while I take a personal day."

Once you walked away from them, you went back up to your hotel room and simply sat on your bed and the tears that you were holding were starting to come down your face at a rapid speed all while Jack and Chris were blowing up your phone.

Future Hubby- Babe, please just come back down here so we can talk. I admit that it slipped my mind and I forgot to tell you. I did it to put less pressure on you so we can plan for our wedding. I know you’re pissed at me with good reason but please talk to me.

Chris- Y/N, I'm only doing this because I want to help you. Please understand that.

All you did was place your phone on DND as you tried to even your breathing. The calls and texts were coming in left and right including from your parents, Ari, Urban just to name a few and you just needed a second to breathe.

About ten minutes had passed before you heard a knock on the door and went to look to see that it was Jack and immediately rolled your eyes before opening it.

"Can I help you?"

"Baby please just talk to me."

"And what am I supposed to say? You left me in the dark about two things and I'm just supposed to be okay with it?" You asked while moving to the side so he could fully come into the room.

"No and I admit that what I did was wrong and I'll try to fix it the best way I can. Neelam seems nice and I think you'll like her."

"She has one time and one time only to get on my nerves and if she does I want her gone. I don't need to be micromanaged."

"I know you don't, but this is just to have an extra set of hands and that's it. I promise."

"Hmm you've been promising a lot of things lately and have broken each one."

"And it won't happen again."

"I'll believe it when I see it but for now, I'm not believing anything else that comes out of your mouth. I never thought I would ever say that. You have literally broken thirty years of trust in a matter of three hours. You tell me everything and I do the same exact thing to you. Still can't believe you thought that you could hide an entire HUMAN BEING from me."

"I wasn't trying to hide her."

"Her? Oh, her. It's a girl then huh?"

"Well she told me that the baby was a girl. I was just saying." Jack quietly said and all you did was eye him.

"I still mean what I said. I really don't want to see you for the rest of the day."

"But…. You've never missed one of my shows."

"I can still come to your show and not look at you. It’s called being backstage."

All Jack did was sigh.

"What can I possibly do to make this better? I don't like when you're mad at me."

"Pissed and hurt is more like it and truth be told… I don't know. But tell your little baby mama to stop tagging me in shit on instagram. You can start there. As for now, I am going to the spa to relax because I know my blood pressure is through the roof right now. Also, you better hope and pray that the DNA test is negative."

"Wait! You aren't going to leave me if the baby is mine are you?" Jack asked and was low key starting to panic.

All you did was stare at him.

"Hold on, I know you’re pissed and I shouldn’t have been having sex with her up until the point that I did but like I said earlier we weren’t even together. And I don't want to be with anyone else."

"And like I said before, you planned on proposing and you told me that you had my ring for a whole damn year. And if it's yours that's not the problem. I'll even throw you a fucking baby shower. My problem is you lying to my face about it. For now, I'm done talking about this so go find Urban and bother him."

"Baby…"

"No. You don't get to call me that right now. And Urban knew about this didn't he?"

Now Jack was quiet.

"Yeah, you definitely aren't sleeping in the same bed as me tonight. Get out."

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#jack harlow #jack harlow fic #jack harlow fanfic #jack harlow x reader #jack harlow x black reader #jack harlow angst #jack harlow fluff #jack harlow smut #jack harlow concepts #jack harlow imagine #jack harlow fanfiction #the marriage pact

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blues824 · 1 year

Note

Hello may I request twisted wonderland 1st years reacting to ciel! g/n reader calling Sebastian to fight overblots?

Yes you can! Btw, Ciel is 13 I believe, so reader will be 13 and all of this will be platonic.

Ace Trappola

You were always very rude to him, especially when he ran his mouth longer than he should have. Plus, you never covered for him. How could you have this much audacity? To be fair, you were 13. Ouch, you just slapped him for making that comment.

You eventually get closer through the unbirthday parties and bond over some tea. He always pours it for you and makes sure you get some sweets. However, he likes to act as your older brother and doesn’t allow you to have too many sweets. You act like you’re constantly annoyed by him, but you actually are fond of the idea of having a ‘normal’ sibling for once.

When Riddle overblots, his first instinct is to protect you. You, however, had a smirk on your face. It made Ace think that you had seen this coming and were prepared for it. You whispered, “Sebastian, I am here.” The first year was about to ask what you said when a demon appeared out of nowhere and started fighting Riddle.

You sat on a chair, crossing one leg over the other while propping your head up with your arm on the chair’s arm. You had a devious smile on your face, and in the matter of a few seconds the demon was right by your side again and Riddle was on the ground. Ace, trembling, asked the question, “who are you and how did you do that?” to the demon.

You and the demon had similar expressions. He responded with, “I am the butler of the Phantomhive household. These types of things are within my repertoire. I am one hell of a butler after all.” Welp, Ace is now out cold on the ground. Congratulations.

Deuce Spade

Mans would probably ask you for help on his homework. You’ve been in Twisted Wonderland for a very short time and you still knew more about the material than he did. He was struggling for real. You didn’t have a problem with it, as long as he didn’t belittle you for being so young like Tweedle-Dumb (Ace) did often.

You actually become close very quickly. Again, he acts as a very protective older brother. He will make sure that you know your way around, that you have an inhaler on your person, and that you always have your cane to help you around. If anyone makes fun of you for it, he will gladly give them a knuckle sandwich.

When Riddle overblots, he goes to pull you behind him. What he doesn’t notice is that you go back even further, grab a chair, and sit down gracefully as you watch the chaos unfold. If Deuce had looked back, he would have been reminded of a king on his throne by the way you were sitting.

You had a confident smirk as you whispered Sebastian’s name. Said demon emerged out of thin air and greeted you calmly. The entire battle was paused out of pure shock. After serving you a cup of tea, your butler grabbed a few silver utensils off the tables and threw them at the overblotted victim.

Within a few seconds, Riddle was defeated. Sebastian had to introduce himself to everyone, and Deuce was just shocked. Since when have you made a deal with a demon?? You explained that you had made a deal with your current butler so that he would help you find whoever killed your parents in exchange for your soul. A 13 year old had to go through so much?

Jack Howl

You both didn’t get to really know each other until you figured out that Leona and Ruggie were the ones sabotaging the other teams and getting their star players injured. You brought your suspicions to Jack, and he confirmed them.

Alongside each other, you both worked to spoil the lion and hyena’s plans. However, everything went downhill. Diasomnia was in the lead by a multitude of points, and Savanaclaw was in second place. That pissed Leona off, to say the least.

When Leona overblots, Jack’s first response is to jump in front of you since you had no magic. However, you shook your head in pure amusement and whispered something to yourself. He was about to ask you to repeat yourself when he saw a silhouette in the sky, going straight for his Housewarden.

Once the lion was defeated, Sebastian (the silhouette) introduced himself properly after making a small scene about forgetting his manners. The expression on your face made it seem like this was normal to you, and that was very concerning to Jack. This guy even smelled shady, but you made a deal with him anyway?

From then on, the three of you got closer as a ‘friend’ group. You didn’t really put a label on your unexpected friendship, you were more acquaintances that would call upon each other for help. Plus, you both are the only ones at NRC with common sense, so have fun!

Epel Felmier

You didn’t get the chance to become close, but you both related to each other. You both were constantly called ‘adorable’ and it pissed the both of you off. However, you had a more sophisticated approach, while Epel always solved the problem with his fists.

You are invited to Pomefiore from time to time, so that is how you grew closer to Epel. You were a positive influence on him, deemed so by Vil himself. You knew how to act elegantly and like a person of status, so the Housewarden was glad to have you around.

When Vil overblots, Epel is scared. He has never witnessed this and had to face it in person. However, you seemed to be confident. In fact, you sat yourself in Vil’s throne and whispered the name Sebastian Michaelis while reaching up and taking off your eye patch. The purple-haired first year is very confused until he sees a figure packing Vil up like he was taking him on vacation.

Within a few moments, Vil was on the ground and the figure was making sure you were alright and unscathed. Epel came over and asked who the heck he was, at which you rolled your eyes and Sebastian ‘smiled’ and gave his classic and iconic introduction.

You made a deal with a demon?? Oh, hell no. He has seen too many horror movies for this. You, however, being as smart as you are, assured Epel that it was a very fair deal. You only wanted to catch your parents’ killers and Sebastian would get your soul. Like Ace, he faints out of shock.

Sebek Zigvolt

How did Crowley think letting in a literal child was a good idea? Let’s not forget about the fact that you don’t have magic either. You were also sickly. It’s literally the worst case scenario for you. The amount of times you have had shouting matches with each other is unfathomable.

He is that annoying older sibling who leaves the door open, and you can’t tell me any differently. He acts like he’s the boss simply because he’s older, until he realizes that your wit rivals even Malleus’s. Even Lilia has a hard time competing against you. That’s when it clicks: maybe you weren’t totally horrible…

When Leona overblotted, he was there on the field with everyone else. He spotted you standing still in the midst of people much bigger than you running past you. You took a seat on a nearby bench that was on the field and whispered something. The half-fae was too far away to hear what you had said, but he can see the smirk you had.

Within a few moments, Leona was brought to his knees and a man dressed in a suit was standing above the overblot victim. Sebek was just shocked. Then, you called out to the man (who he now learned is Sebastian) and you talked to him as though he were an employee.

Sebek walked over and asked who or what the guy standing next to you was. After Sebastian’s magnificent introduction, you explained that he was a demon that you had employed under a Faustian contract. You even removed your eye patch to show the mark. The poor crocodile was on the verge of fainting.

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some-pers0n · 6 months

Note

I can't think of anything for the assuming thing that you reblogged, but while I'm here uhhm. I'd like to hear abt tf2 if you're willing to explain.

I don't know a lot abt it but I see the stuff you reblog!! I know the game, but I've never heard any lore or anything abt the characters.

No pressure ofc, you don't have to :]

You're. asking me..to infodump? About TF2!?

Okie okey I can do it. Uh. Keep in mind it's going to be pretty long-winded and incomprehensible. I just really like this game...

Oh! And if you're a follower or mutual, read on as well! I put a lot of effort into this. If you're at all interested in understanding my madness even a little bit, this is for you.

Before we even begin, I HIGHLY recommend first checking out the Meet the Team videos and perhaps Expatriation Date. It will take you roughly half an hour to watch all videos. They are simply fantastic. They are humorous and show off the personalities of these characters in a great and short way. Plus it establishes the tone of this game (which is very silly)

With that being said, let it commence.

Okay, so, I guess we start with the basics. Team Fortress 2 is a sequel to Team Fortress (Classic), which was a mod for a game called Quake using the engine for Half-Life, Source. It was made by a couple of friends who would later on become a part of Valve, a game company known for their own games such as Portal, Half-Life (as previously mentioned), Counter-Strike; Global Offense, and of course, Team Fortress.

Team Fortress 2's development is pretty interesting and cool in of itself. I could go on for a bit, but just know that TF2 was announced back in 1998. Over this time, it went by the name of Invasion, following an art style similar to TFC and Half-Life with them now being on some alien planet thing. However that sort of style became outdated, so they then went under a major art style shift. After nine years in development, they final released it in 2007 as a package called the Orange Box. It released alongside Portal and Half-Life 2, Episode 2.

Since then, Team Fortress 2, or simply just TF2, has become a cornerstone of the internet and general team-based shooter games. Its influences can be seen all over, with the most prominent example being games like Overwatch being a spiritual successor to it.

You don't want to hear me ramble about the actual gameplay and such though, I assume. I really like watching people play the game, but I would be lying if I didn't find a smidge more enjoyment from the characters, hm? I mean, how could I not? They're one of, if not the best parts of the entire game.

But before we get to that, even more ground work. Here's the basic lore you need.

In the 1800s, a man called Zephaniah Mann owns a company. He's your generic richy-rich upperclassman guy. His business partner, Barnabus Hale, co-owns this. This will be slightly important later. He has three children, Redmond, Blutarch, and Gray Mann. Redmond and Blutarch practically come out of the womb hating each other, while Gray Mann? Well, he's. special. He's incredibly intelligent for his newborn nature, being able to speak fluent English as well as supposedly inventing a new kind of algebra.

Zephaniah Mann freaks out. He tries to kill the child, however he is, and I quote, "absconded by the Eagle". This is a random eagle that's been apparently terrorizing the small town that Zephaniah Mann lives in. It breaks through the windows and literally steals Gray Mann, saving him from an untimely death.

So that happened.

Years later, Zephaniah grows old. Blutarch and Redmond are the only real heirs of his company, but the both of them won't come to a single agreement on anything. Pissed off about it, Zephaniah writes in his will that he's giving his company to Barnabus Hale, leaving his servant, Elizabeth, with all of his "gold", and jack-shit for Redmond and Blutarch.

Well...not nothing. Redmond and Blutarch convinced Zephaniah to buy up a bunch of land in New Mexico. Gravel pits and dustbowls. When Zephaniah died, the two of them tried claiming the land for themselves. This sparked the main event: the Gravel Wars.

Blutarch and Redmond hired a bunch of mercenaries to fight for each other. This was the original team. Yes, that is Abraham Lincoln you see there. Get used to it.

The mercenaries fought and fought, yet there was no clear victor. In the end, Blutarch and Redmond were growing old. By 1890s, it was becoming obvious that the two would die before they saw the end of this fight.

Or...until a certain other party emerged. Radigan Conagher. A brilliant inventor that catches the attention of Blutarch Mann. He brings Radigan to him and asks something so simple of him.

Build him a machine to make him immortal.

Radigan agrees to the task.

However, this also gets the attention of another person. Remember that servant I mentioned? The one who inherited Zephaniah Mann's gold? Well, it turns out that it isn't gold, but actually an incredibly powerful material called Australium.

Australium is native to Australia. It is a precious mineral that is capable of incredible power. Among giving the people around it super-strength, heightened intelligence, and generally being very Australian, it can also be used to make a person immortal through extending their life.

Elizabeth knows about this, and for some reason that we still don't quite know, she wants to continue on this war. So, she approaches Radigan and asks him to build another life extender machine for Redmond. Also for her probably.

So now the old men (and also this chick) are immortal. Cool!!

The 1930s roll around and there's another group of mercenaries. We don't care about these ones that much. Just know that they are the same mercs from Team Fortress Classic and they'll be somewhat important later. Understand also that Barnabus Hale's company is now called MannCo. and is the main supplier of weapons to this war.

NOW IT'S THE 1960S YAYYY IT'S TIME FOR THEM!!! THE SILLIES!!

Something to also know is that there's somebody pulling the strings. The Administrator. For some reason, she wants to continue this war between Redmond and Blutarch. She's not Elizabeth though!! Definitely not. Totally not. Definitely not a plot twist that WOULD'VE HAPPENED IN THE FINAL COMIC HAD IT RELEASED- but it's fine.

Anyways, I digress. Elizabeth and the Administrator (also known as Helen) are pretty much the same person. Working as her assistant is Miss Pauling, who (among other things) hides bodies, gives contracts to the mercs, and generally does whatever the Admin wants her to.

Whew!! There you go. That's the general gist of the lore. Back in the 1800s there was a guy who had two kids who hated each other. They hated each other so much they went to war over a bunch of useless land. Over 100 years later now we've got the mercs.

Finally!! We can start talking about them.

Scout, aka Jerma985

The Scout, real name Jeremy, is a loud-mouth, obnoxious 20 something year old from Boston. He fights using a shotgun, baseball bat, and a pistol. He's got 7 older brothers (he's the youngest of them all) and has an affinity for baseball, Tom Jones, and a soda drink named Bonk! that is apparently radioactive. He's what I'd argue to be the most ""normal"" merc, since he's just kind of an asshole who likes killing people. He talks and acts like an obnoxious guy, but he's overall not that bad.

Oh I forgot to mention he's canonically God's gift to women.

Here's a snipbit of the scene where Scout dies and goes to Heaven where he meets God Himself and tells Scout that he was intended to have sex with as many women as possible.

Scout is also illiterate and can't read. He's actually a pretty good artist though. He's got a Tom Jones memorabilia collection that he once used to try and impress Miss Pauling. Oh right! He's also got a massive crush on Miss Pauling. The Expiration Date short is all about it, with him trying to get a date with her before he dies of cancer.

Soldier, the American Idiot

The Soldier, real name Jane Doe, is a red-blooded American patriot from somewhere in the mid-west USA. He fights using a rocket launcher, a shotgun, and a shovel. He is not a real solider. In fact, he was turned away from WWII because of his mental instability. That didn't stop him from buying a ticket and going to Germany himself, beating the crap out of all of them Nazis. He only stopped when he was told that the current year was 1949 and the war had ended four years ago.

Soldier is what I'd argue to be the character the narrative focuses on the most. You'd be pressed to find a comic that doesn't feature him a lot. He's the second half of the WAR! update, the first merc that Miss Pauling recruits when the actual main comics happen, generally pops up a lot in bits and pieces of the lore, and is one of the stars of Expiration Date.

Soldier was roommates with a 6,000 year old wizard named Meramus. Meramus is a character from TF2's annual Halloween event, Scream Fortress, and is a silly wizard who attacks them once every year. Despite this, the two of them lived together. Past tense because Meramus was kicked out. Here's a panel from a comic about this that I find funny.

Soldier also drinks lead water. The water in the base is the same water that the people from a nearby town, Teufort, which is all full of idiots from the water situation. We don't know if he's like this because of the water. It's probably not the only reason.

Pyro, the Silly!!

The Pyro has no identity, no backstory, nothing. Anything we know about them is pretty much nothing. They, along with the Spy, are the most unknown of the mercs, but even then we still know more about Spy and generally what he's like. Pyro? Nothing. We don't even know their gender.

Pyro fights with a flamethrower, shotgun, and fire axe, however they see these items as a cute and wholesome version. In Meet the Pyro, it's revealed that Pyro sees the world through a oddly sweet lens, full of lolipops and rainbows and whatever. This isn't reality, obviously, and what Pyro sees as them petting a dog is probably them gutting it.

Pyro and the Engineer have some sort of bond and connection, most likely stemming from how Pyro's in-game help out Engineers by keeping away spies and whatnot, as flamethrowers are the best ways to get rid of them.

Anywho, that's Pyro. The silly!!

Demoman, Man I Love Being Drunk

The Demoman, real name Travis Finnegan DeGroot, is a self-proclaimed "black Scottish cyclops". He fights with a stickybomb launcher, a grenade launcher, and a bottle of his beloved whiskey: scrumpy. Demoman is a full-blooded Scotsman hailing from Ullapool and has a long, long lineage of fellow bombmakers and general stuff.

Demoman is actually one of the more intelligent members of the team, being knowledgeable of chemicals and bomb making. This is however not exactly known as 90% of the time he's black-out drunk. He gets drunk so often that his liver actually changed to adapt to this sort of environment, now drawing minerals from booze as if it were water. Now Demo basically gets poisoned by drinking water.

Demo's eye is actually cursed, by the way. No, he didn't lose it during some fight or some accident. Well, I mean, it technically was an accident. He opened up a cursed book, the Bombinomicon, and now his eye is just. fucked.

In fact, the Medic tried giving him a new eye. Several times in fact! Why doesn't he have it still? Well, uh, this.

He's so silly.

Heavy, The TF2 Guy

The Heavy Weapons Guy, real name Mikhail (or Misha), is a Russian man hailing from Siberia. He fights with his miniguns, a shotgun, and his fists. He's rather fond of his guns, in particular his main one, Sasha.

Heavy is a family man and generally a lot different than how a ton of the internet characterizes him. He's intelligent, having a PhD in Russian Literature, and a lot more soft-spoken. When he was young, his father, a counter revolutionist, was taken by the KGB. Soon enough, his entire family were imprisoned in a gulag. They escaped and found refuge, but Heavy became protective over his sisters and mother.

TF2 goes hard, like if you agree. Every time I think about Heavy I just get increasingly sad.

Heavy likes sandwiches. A lot. In fact, you can swap out his shotgun in the game for a sandwich (or some other food item). Apparently in TF2 canon, Heavy just hunkers down in some corner after taking a good amount of damage and starts eating this ham sandwich to suddenly have his bullet wounds be healed.

Engineer, YEEEEHAWWW!!!

The Engineer, real name Dell Conagher, is a hardworking man who's come round from Bee Cave, Texas. He fights using a shotgun, a pistol, his trusty wrench, and a little tiny box called the PDA. That lil' box gives the Engineer a major advantage, being able to now make buildings. Dispensers that give ammo and medkits. Teleporters that make traversing the maps easier. Lets not forget the sentries now either, stationary automatic guns that fire upon any enemy that gets too close.

If the name "Conagher" seems familiar, that would be because Engie is the grandson of Radigan Conagher from all the way back. Also Fred Conagher, who was the Engineer for TFC. Here's the both of them when Engie was a kid.

Engie is commonly mischaracterized as being normal. This is because he seems smart and okay. He is not. I need you to understand that his Meet the Team video has him using a BLU Sniper's body as his campfire and he shows little to no reaction to bullets being mere inches away from his face. He just sits there and plays his guitar while his sentry guns mow down anybody nearby. Also the whole being a mercenary and his job being to kill people.

Unfortunately for Engie there's not too much Funny comic book stuff about him. His big break was mostly with the Loose Cannon comic. In other ones he's usually a supplemental character to the others. In the main comics he's the sort of caregiver to the Administrator, just sort of standing around her while she says stuff.

That doesn't make me any less terminally ill about him in this one comic though. They make me SICK!! I love them,,

And, well, speaking of these two...I suppose it was only a matter of time before we got to him.

Medic, You Already Know Who This Is

The Medic, real name maybe Ludwig Humbolt? I dunno. It's unclear. All that's really confirmed is that his last name is probably most likely Ludwig. Some people like Ludwig Humbolt. Others like Fritz Ludwig. I like calling him Ludwig Ludwig.

Anyways, this is Medic! He hails from Stuttgart/Rottenburg, Germany (it's not very clear where he's from) and he is a bit of a silly little fellow. He fights using his trusty bonesaw, a syringe gun of sorts, and a unique device of his own creation: the medi-gun. With this machine, he's able to heal people as well as deploy an übercharge, which makes both the Medic and whomever his medi-gun's healing beam is connected with invincible for eight seconds.

The Medic is a silly little fellow. One fascinating thing you can see about him is how his character has been shifted since the launch of the game. His voice lines in-game are a lot more...er, how should I say this...Nazi German stereotype-ish? Hehh, uh... So not particularly great. He's barking orders and generally seen kind of like that.

However, as time goes on and more and more updates come out, his character shifts. The Pyro goes under similar changes in presentation, going from a mysterious and scary character to more friendly and cutesy. With Medic? He forgos that previous stereotype and more or less just becomes a mad scientist archetype. He's got a silliness to him that wasn't present when the game first launched.

My favourite example of this shift in character is the change in how the Meet the Medic videos would've been. Did you know there was a scrapped Meet the Medic video? It was a lot more like the earlier ones, styled like an interview he was giving. He's doing it on a train(?) and it shows how he created the medi-gun. There's a noticeable lack of silliness, aside from when the Spy head begins talking. The Medic is a lot more stern and serious, mentioning more how he's proud of being able to make gods out of men.

Then, of course, we see the actual Meet the Medic. Medic is preforming surgery on the Heavy, and it's all fairly silly and wacky. Medic explodes Heavy's heart, his birds are just straight up inside Heavy's organs, he basically tells the Spy head (which is actually a reference to the OG Meet the Medic video) to shut up, and laughs away like what he's doing is no big deal. He's got a manic twitch to him. He's a brilliant scientist, though a mad one at that.

I have a lot to say about Medic if you can't already tell. He's my silly!! He's the guy giving me all of this brainrot over this game. I just go into detail about his characterization because it's a major pet peeve of mine when people label him as a uncaring sadist who hates his team and wants to experiment on them all. He IS an uncaring sadist, but he's sill and I will go down swinging on this hill that he, at the bare minimum, cares about his team. I rationalize his in-game voice lines by saying it's from him a) dying a lot and getting pissed off at how his teammates just let it happen and b) he's having a manic episode every day at work and has zero filter. All of them have zero filter when battling. If they all acted the way they did in the game, then characters like Scout should be GO GO GO GO!!!! 24/7 without rest, something that's certainly not the case in Expiration Date. On a similar note, let's not forget that Medic and Engie decided to spend their last few days trying to develop some kind of cure for their tumors.

Anyways, deranged EngieMedic fangirling aside (these two make me violently ill and they are the only characters I could even dare to say I "ship")(even then it's as a QPR because I'm diseased and hit Medic with my aroace-ification ray)(you cannot convince me that this man in alloro in any way shape or form he does not even know what an emotion besides mania and blistering rage is), Medic is a fascinating character who I feel not too many people really get. He's either written as a pencil-pushing busy-body vaguely Nazi stereotype or as a soft uwu twink cinnamon roll who wants to help his team and only has a small sadistic streak and only wants to be railed by Heavy. You guys don't get it. He's silly :)

Oh, yeah, right, Heavy. Heavy and Medic definitely do have a connection established. I left it out in Heavy's section, mostly because I want to give focus onto Heavy as a character and leave Medic out of it. Heavy already gets piss pour treatment by the fandom, where he's just reduced to "the other guy" in every ship. He doesn't deserve that...

But, yeah, Medic and Heavy certainly is kinda pushed. Medic and Heavy duos in the game aren't that uncommon, as Heavy is a good tank and Medic can hide behind him, leading to Heavy more or less becoming a stream of bullets to mow down anybody nearby. In Meet the Medic, Medic experiments on Heavy's heart and the big climactic end has him activating the übercharge on Heavy. In the comics themselves, Classic Heavy, the inverse of our normal Heavy, is antagonistic and extremely rude towards Medic. The complete and utter opposite of what Heavy and Medic had back in the day. Then finally he shows up when Medic is literally About To Die.

Blah blah blah, there's a lot of stuff relating back to Heavy and Medic at the VERY LEAST having some sort of ties and liking to each other. That's the reason why there's like 1100+ fics on Ao3 tagged with them.

Medic is a silly goober as previously mentioned. As shown in the Engineer section, he experiments on random civilians. I like to imagine that he doesn't particularly do random fucked up experiments on the RED team, but rather he more or less does everything on civilians. He enjoys putting somebody through pain and suffering, but he wants it to mean something. He doesn't want to just mess with people. He tests out the bounds of which a person can go to, which he does on random people he plucks off the street because there's replaceable to him. His teammates? Not so much.

Oh, and also the Classic Team. He doesn't care about these people. They suck! They aren't his friends. So he just does. this sort of stuff.

He's a bit special. Love him dearly for it.

Sniper, Aww Piss

The Sniper, real name Mick Mundy (real birth name being Mun-Dee), is an young Aussie from the outback. Yes. Young. This man is roughly 30 in 1972 (when the comics take place). Can't you tell by how stereotypically young he looks? Sniper fights using a sniper rifle (duh), an SMG (or other items), and a kukri (big knife).

He's one of the most level-headed of the mercs. Not sane, but rather a man who sticks to being professional and a set of rules. Despite this more refined sense of mercenary work, his parents don't exactly support him being a crazed gunman. Also his parents aren't his biological ones.

That's right, Sniper is adopted. Why do we care? Because he's not Australian, but rather from New Zealand. New Zealand is at the bottom of the ocean, by the way. In 1932 they sunk their entire country because Bill-Bel, Sniper's dad, convinced everyone that the world was going to become an uninhabitable wasteland if they didn't otherwise do this. Ten years later, and when little baby Mun-Dee was born, Bill-Bel and his wife began working on a rocket to escape to space because now they were convinced that earth was going to explode or something. They only built the rocket big enough for one person though, so they fought over who would survive. While fighting, Mun-Dee crawled into it, was shot up into the sky, and then crash landed immediately onto Australia.

So Sniper is Superman.

Also, remember how I said that Sniper sticks to rules and such? Yeah, apparently being a professional also means throwing jars of piss at people. Jarate, a form of jar-based karate invented by Saxton Hale, owner of MannCo.

Sniper's just like that.

Spy, Fr*ch

The Spy, real name unknown, is the second most mysterious character. He's from France (no idea where particularly) and he's just kinda. yeah. There. He fights using his butterfly knife, which he can instantly kill anybody he backstabs, a revolver, and a sapper so he can destroy the Engineer's buildings. Also, an invisibility watch, where he's able to cloak himself and become invisible, and the ability to disguise himself as the enemy team.

The Spy is a richy-rich upperclassman. He likes the finer things in life. Smoking, wine, expensive suits, all that. He's a lot more refined and generally snobbish than the other mercs. However, I don't think of him as exactly mean or rude. Definitely stuck-up, but he cares about his teammates. In Expiration Date, he takes the time to ask everyone what their final wish is. When that's a bust, he then happily spends time with Scout and teaching him how to get ladies.

Ah, yes, right. Scout and Spy. Spy is actually the Scout's father. It's a theory that has been around since the release of Meet the Spy, with the RED Spy being in pornography staring Scout's mother. It's been tossed around and hinted at, with their dynamic and Expiration Date as well as a couple references to Spy and DNA tests. Then, in The Naked and the Dead comic, it's pretty much outright confirmed. While Scout is bleeding out and on the verge of death, Spy takes a moment to finally give Scout some peace.

...while disguised as Tom Jones, of course.

I could go on and on about this scene and how I feel about Spy's characterization and his dynamic with Scout, but blah blah blah...yeah. Spy TF2.

Annnddd that's it for now! Basic summary of it all. The characters, the lore, all of it. I've reached the image limit and have been sort of dancing around it for a while now. Hope this was informative. Toodles!!

#ask #fave #long post #Sneeb #sp-rambles

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pandora-morningstar · 1 year

Text

Moriarty the Patriot: Enola Holmes general headcannons

((this is my version of Enola and what I think she's like in Moriarty the Patriot))

1) She's they youngest at eighteen years old. Not long after she was born her father died and when she was around six years old her mother disappeared, leaving her in the care of her brothers. Sherlock practically raised her since Mycroft was always busy.

2) She dresses similar to Violet Evergarden, it's easier for her to move around and run. No complicated puffy skirts for her just a simple petticoat and stockings under her dress, but whe she has to attend a fancy party she will dress more appropriate, she also dresses in her brother's old clothes. She wears her hair in a braid that's tied in a bun.

3) Enola loves dogs, when she was a six year old child she had a long haired Dachshund called Otto, Sherlock give her the dog to help cheer her up after her mother's disappearance. She had Otto for a long time and now has a short haired Dachshund called König, which is German for king, she got the idea from a German guest at the hotel she was living in.

4) She's smart and sassy, her and Sherlock often have battles of witts to see who can piss Mycroft off the fastest. She uses her intelligence to help solve cases and her sass either gets her out of trouble or in more trouble depending on who she's facing. It's usually up to her brothers or Louis to save her.

5) Speaking of her brothers, Enola is closer to Sherlock since he raised her and allowed her to become her own person. She still has that familial love for Mycroft but she can't forgive him for trying to send her to a all girls finishing school just because he couldn't handle her since she was Sherlock's double. When she started living with Sherlock, the first meeting with Mycroft was awkward and involved him shouting about her being a stain on the family name and how their father would be rolling in his grave. He finally shut up when Enola slapped him across the face, she clapped back at him by saying that he was the worse brother in the world and he should be ashamed that he skipped out on his duty as the eldest to care for her and Sherlock. Now the wedge between the eldest and youngest is bigger, Sherlock takes Enola's side everything.

6) She has met the Moriarty brothers before, she met Albert when she had to give Mycroft some documents. She greeted Albert with grace before dumping the folder in Mycroft's desk with saying anything to him and left, when asked about it Mycroft just replied that she's moody. She met William and Louis on the train with Sherlock and Watson. She found William very interesting but she didn't have time to analyze him because she had to distract Louis form stabbing her brother.

7) Her and Louis have a true rivels to possible lovers relationship, always saving eachothers butts form danger. They bond over the fact that their the youngest and most stable siblings in their families. They often have afternoon tea at the Moriarty estate and gossip about their brothers, they also enjoy walks in Hyde park, playing chess and Enola even asked Louis to pretend to be her sweetheart so Mycroft wouldn't get the idea to marry her to someone, he agreed and they both enjoy the chaos it causes. Unknowingly to them Jack and Bonde have already planned their wedding.

(8 Speaking of Jack, he likes Enola she's a funny girl and enjoys watching her interact with Louis, he taught her how to use a knife. Enola likes him too and sees him as a father figure, she was grateful to him for teaching her how to use a knife like he does. He also like König.

#yuukuko no moriarty #moriarty the patriot

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justmybookthots · 6 months

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Chess & Mate

Okay, first of all: This isn't a bad book. I want to preface my review with that, even if 'bad' is a nebulous term. I want to make it clear that at this point, I'm absolving Ali Hazelwood of her sins with Love Hypothesis. While I hated Adam, I loved Jack from Love Theoretically, and I do like Sawyer… to a degree. I think her heroes have evolved slightly since Adam, and now they're kind of at a very acceptable Jack-Sawyer stage.

I'll elaborate on the hero part in a bit. But for now, I also want to make it clear that while I don't love this book anywhere as much as I loved Love Theoretically, I can see a lot of people loving this, and I understand. It really all boils down to personal preference. (Though that… pretty much sums up any kind of book review, so you can ignore this statement, really. But I guess what I'm trying to say is: Love Hypothesis pissed me the fuck off. Its issues were egregious to me. Chess & Mate got on my nerves a bit, but I recognise it was just due to my own weird preferences as a reader.)

Anyway. Spoilers ahead.

Things I liked:

Sawyer. He's very similar to Jack and if that's the kind of hero Ali likes, I ain't complaining. He knows what he wants; he's mostly straightforward with his feelings and is unabashed about them. Neither is he growly or saying "babe" and all that cringe stuff. He's just… calm, same as Jack. It's very attractive. And ALSO. He is a virgin. I so, so love that? Too bad this was YA so the sex scenes were closed-door, because I felt that would have been a fun dynamic to explore in an adult book.

I like that for once, Mallory (the heroine) is the one who sleeps around. It's all very sex-positive and I support that immensely. Also her being bi? I 100% am for it.

I really liked Oz, for most of the book. And Dfne? I think that's how you spell her name. [But I may be wrong and I'm too lazy to check.]

I think all the loose ends were tied up rather conclusively, re: Eaton and Mallory's family.

Now…. The things I did not like. Hoo-boy.

I'm not into the Mary Sue scene. This is my biggest, biggest gripe for this book. Mallory being this good was not to my liking. She was just winning match after match even though she hadn't played in years. She felt unbeatable, and it took a lot of narrative tension out of the story for me. At some point, I was just like: Okay, I get it. You're the best. And Sawyer is also the best. You are both the best, and you two can sit above the plebs in your couple-y thrones. Reading this book felt like I was reading a power fantasy between two people, and while I get that being everyone's cup of tea, it wasn't mine. At some point, it felt like Sawyer was only ever interested in her because she could play as well as (or better than) he did.

I wished Sawyer hadn't been interested in her from the start. It would have been fun to really lean into the 'enemies' angle for a bit and have her slowly climb her way up to face off against him later. But then again, that's asking for a major rewrite, and that's a whole can of worms I'd rather not open.

But speaking of interest, I was conflicted on the insta-love on Sawyer's part. Him showing up at her house early on in the book and eating dinner with her family was really abrupt and it took me aback. They went from almost no interaction save for her beating him at the first match and the encounter at the pool to… this? Or maybe there were more encounters that I can't recall off the top of my head now, but it just felt too soon for me.

Oh gosh. Her family. Her mom was fine, but her sisters, especially Sabrina? I was being driven nuts. When Sabrina called Mallory egotistical, I was like: wtf? Mallory was practically slaving her ass off to support her family and she made so many sacrifices for them. I get that that was the point—Mallory was clinging to martyrdom and refusing to let herself need them and it upset them. But being antagonistic to Mallory was NOT the answer. Her martyrdom stemmed from a place of self-loathing and trauma. I hated how everyone at the end of the book was yelling at Mallory to get her head out of her ass. Maybe this wake-up call works in books/fiction, or maybe it works for some people, but it's not ideal. It's callous and cruel. I approved only of how Mallory's mother handled it: she very calmly talked things out with her.

Mallory had EVERY right to be angry with Sawyer. I hated how everyone, including Eaton, fed this narrative that Mallory was completely in the wrong for her blow-up at him and how everything he did was right for her. If a man I was developing a romantic relationship with was paying for my fellowship/my fucking SALARY all along and omitted telling me (don't give me the bullshit about "you could have just asked"—omission is still lying), I would be furious. This is crucial information that should have been voluntarily shared sooner. Even if he came from a good place, it doesn't make it okay to hide this imbalance of power from me.

I also want to say that the bad guys are cartoonishly bad. Like you know right away who the 'villain' of the book was going to be, and it felt rather juvenile how unapologetically dickish he was. There wasn't a lot of nuance to it, but eh. Whatever.

The PDA between Sawyer and Mallory (her sitting between his thighs and him… biting her earlobe? I… Okay) while they played chess with his friends was… not for me. I had the same complaint with a hauntingly similar scene in Love Theoretically. I get it: this type of thing is just not my cuppa, but Ali loves it.

All in all, while it sounds like I'm complaining a lot, I don't hate this book. I just don't really love it. Or… like it very, very much. But it had its cute moments, so it's, well, not that bad? I think?

- 13 Nov 2023

#book review #book blog #ali hazelwood #check & mate #love theoretically #the love hypothesis

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rolloollor · 5 months

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Is it ok to ask a bit more of your loved ships in bio. I'd like to see what you say about Idoazu Jack/Leovil

Sure! I'm always down to ramble.

idoazu

This was my main ship before mallerollo popped up. Naturally, I have the most to say about them.

I started to love idoazu when I got to Azul's overblot. I assumed Jade and Floyd would fuck off when Azul was in trouble, but they stayed! I was like, "Oh my god, they love him..." or at least care about him. I was legitimately moved since I was sure they'd dip. I've read people comment on their relationship and that it's purely transactional. That the second Azul falters, the tweels will give him the boot or eat him alive or whatever. Certainly Azul seems to believe this. They say something similar to Jamil in book 4, but it's important to remember that characters can lie and they can lie to themselves. They had a chance to drop him with the overblot and they didn't. Actions speak louder than words, right, so I think it's more likely that they believe it's only transactional, but they do genuinely like each other.

Though this like doesn't mean that the tweels treat Azul all that nice... they fucked up his restaurant during book 6 for funsies. Jade is a huge weirdo and I bet he loves seeing Azul frustrated or pissed off. I love Jade so much... I'm not as big on Floyd, but he can be surprisingly normal when he wants to be. It is nice that Azul has been able to have events with both of his boyfriends and even one with Idia without the eels if you're into that.

I like how close they are and I like how they respect each other. They all know each other's strengths and they've been together for a while. To go on this go-on-land venture together I think is significant. The tweels were the first to 'support' Azul, even if it was mainly to have fun, and I'm sure Azul does feel a bit of fondness for them, even if he says it's all business. I also like how Azul is a bit afraid of them, but he knows them well enough to be able to make his schemes appealing to them. There's this ever-present atmosphere of danger. Both eels love to eat octopus, after all. They're predators and Azul has this balancing act he had to perform, but even if he slipped and they usurped his position, I think they'd keep him around anyway. Floyd uses Azul's name, after all, so he's on the same level as Jade.

I'm not that interested in tweelcest, though. I never got the appeal of twincest. They look the same... I like when there's some kind of contrast.

leovil

The main thing that jumps out at me is how well they know each other and how they respect the other. Leona picked Vil for his Tamashina event and Playful Land showed more of the way they understand each other. They know their weaknesses, too. Their relationship would be complicated and maybe volatile at times, but I think they could make it work if they wanted to. It's probably Leona who'd hold it back. I feel like Vil could encourage him to try harder, but it could easily cross into being really irritating for Leona. Maybe Leona could get Vil to chill out a little bit, who knows. The appeal for me, aside from the visual contrast, is that it's a relationship of equals.

jackvil is just really cute. They're both very driven, and they already jog together in the mornings... it could easily develop from there. There's something just so charming about this giga celebrity getting together with a random guy he knew briefly as a child. It's cute. I think Jack would be good for Vil, too, since he'd be extremely loyal and supportive. He'd also make a good househusband. I don't have as much like 'backing' for this one, it's simple and cute. Plus I'm sure Vil does have a soft spot for him. The story about them making snow stuff together was really charming.

Also I dabbled in rookvil for a while, but it's like... too easy? Like things are established already. The climax of the love story happened already, if you feel me? I also don't like Rook's home screen line from the Ghost Marriage event where he says he's fickle... It worries me. I'm not against the pair, it just doesn't intrigue me, I guess.

#rllr asks #idoazu #leovil #jackvil

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pollutedstar · 8 months

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I wrote a fic back when OFMD first came out and I have come to accept that I'm never going to finish and ESPECIALLY not by the time season two drops. but I'm gonna post the snippets anyway.

He is the Kraken for Christ’s sake. He is a killer. He lights ships on fire and orders his hostages skinned alive and he held a rope around his own father’s throat until the man turned blue and rolled into the sea, sinking to the bottom. He was in denial, before. He has already drowned, he is bloodthirsty but all he has to do to quench it is open his mouth and let the violence flood in. He is a fucking ghost, a horror story, a legend across the seas. When people say Blackbeard, they already pictured the Kraken: eight guns and spindly hair and smoke from his lungs like the fire of life being constantly dampened until it became ash. He is the Kraken.

“I’m your friend.”

The Kraken punches a wall at the thought of that voice. The wood cracks from the force, and his knuckles make a similar sound, but he doesn’t care. His hands are still filthy from the black smudges he’s left all over his face. Jim had said he looked dead. That’s the goal. He is the Kraken. And the Kraken isn’t real.

(The Kraken is a fourteen-year-old boy, heartbroken and exhausted, so exhausted he becomes violent. The fourteen-year-old boy is a killer who reveled in the stench of alcohol finally stopping once his victim stopped breathing. The killer is responsible for his mother’s first smile in over a decade.)

The room is empty. Hollowed out and tossed to sea, sinking to the bottom.

He is the Kraken. He is drowning.

He remembers what Calico Jack once told him: anything goes at sea. It’d just been the tired mutterings that come after sex, but Blackbeard had taken it to heart. The open ocean and sky were freedom. Anything goes. The piss-poor son of a maid and a drunk could have power, real power, power rooted in fear and reputation. When Stede Bonnet–the fucking “Gentleman Pirate”–and he had gone to that fancy French boat, his stupid alias had gained so much attention so fast. Blackbeard knows what that’s like. The Kraken will know, too.

He paces the Captain’s quarters. There’s dust growing on everything nowadays. Normally filth doesn’t bother him, but he was used to the filth of blood and anger, not the filth of absence. The dust on the bookshelves is what always grabs his attention. The Gentleman Pirate had never let a book sit on a shelf long enough to gather dust–and neither had the sea. It was impractical, and the more he thought about it the more he realized how embarrassing the man had been. Bookshelves and a fireplace and fucking marmalade instead of gunpowder (and a hidden closet that the Kraken has still told no one about and can’t find it in himself to empty).

“Can you keep a secret?”

The Kraken doesn’t really hear himself when he responds. Something about washing the deck until the crew could eat off it, because he might just make them. He doesn’t know. He’s sure it sounds scary–it’s not hard. They’d asked him once, the crew, how he tapped into a person’s worst fear. As if it isn’t always obvious. As if they don’t all wear it on their sleeves like a tattoo. As if they don’t name themselves after it.

He wakes up to cannon fire, which is absurd. Raids are not to be conducted without the Captain on deck, let alone while the Captain is sound a-fucking-sleep. Having passed out fully dressed in leather from all the rum the night before, he tilts himself out of bed, off-balance. Luckily the dreary shithole has nothing for him to bump into as he stumbles.

“Oh, Dizzy Izzy’s giving me orders now, is he?” Blackbeard spits, towering over his first mate.

If he apologizes, if he begs for mercy, if he cries, Blackbeard’s prepared for all of it. Pirates don’t have friends. We’re all just in various stages of fucking each other over. Stede just managed to do it first.

He can’t help but notice that Stede has a certain grace getting up on the ship. Maybe it’s his clothes, which are looser and less restricting. Blackbeard–the Kraken–almost feels like he’s seeing the man completely naked without the silks and velvets and colors.

Every member of the crew is silent and still, the eye of the worst storm any of them had ever seen in their lives. Stede brushes his shirt, straightening the collar of the threadbare cotton. If he’s trying to impress me, it’s not going to work, Blackbeard thinks.

Instead, after steadying himself, Bonnet says, “You pushed Lucius off the ship?”

“Oh, you’re fucking insane,” Izzy spits, but before the words are even halfway through the man’s mouth Blackbeard has Stede shoved up against the railing, sword pressed against his gut. Stede is not a fool; he notices the blade is hovering in front of his right side, not the left.

The fearsome pirate trembles along with his voice. “I’m going to kill you.”

“I was prepared for that,” Stede says softly, which throws Blackbeard off balance.

“What?”

“I’ve heard some fearsome stories about you, Ed–”

“It’s Blackbeard,” Izzy shouts while simultaneously Blackbeard interrupts and hisses,

“It’s the Kraken.”

A genuine almost-smile flickers across Stede’s face, and it makes Blackbeard dig the sword in a little deeper, but Stede doesn’t even flinch. He murmurs, quiet enough that only the two of them can hear, “We both know the Kraken isn’t real. But if you need me to keep that secret, I will.”

“Just fucking kill him, Cap’n,” Izzy yells. Blackbeard gets something cold and venomous in his eyes as he keeps a hand on Stede’s chest, held to the railing, while lifting his sword and pointing it in his first mate’s direction.

“What,” he hisses, “have I fucking told you about giving me orders?”

There’s something different about Izzy, Stede realizes, as the man tightens his lip and averts his eyes at Blackbeard’s words. He’s never seen the man so subservient.

Blackbeard turns back around, the sword once again pressed too hard against the flesh of Stede’s stomach. But Stede knows he’s already convinced him.

The sword is resting on his left.

“I was hoping for a proper parlay between two Captains, if you wouldn’t mind.”

Blackbeard snorts. “Pretty sure you need a ship to call yourself a Captain.”

“Well, it appears mine’s been pirated from me.”

“If I remember correctly, you walked away from it.”

Shame clouds Stede’s face, but he keeps his eyes steady on Blackbeard’s.

“I did.”

“So why would I have a proper parlay with a man who doesn’t even want his own ship?”

“Because you deserve an explanation, Edward.”

His crew, who have no doubt been trying to eavesdrop the whole time, begin to climb aboard, deciding the Captains were taking too long. Lucius leads the group.

“Jesus,” Izzy groans. “I’d thought we had finally finished you off.”

“I’m a fucking pirate, Spewer. I know how to swim.”

“Watch your mouth—”

“Izzy,” Blackbeard says, tone calm as the sea. It stops the man dead. He leans on a cane, a new addition since Stede had last seen him. The first mate’s hand almost trembles around the handle. Stede wonders, when it’s not Captain, whether Izzy refers to Ed as the Kraken or Blackbeard.

“He’ll fuck with your head again.”

Lucius mutters under his breath, “Pretty sure he’ll be fucking more than that,” and Stede’s glad Blackbeard doesn’t seem to have heard it. He’s already invaded the pirate’s ship—which in Stede’s defense, actually does belong to him—and he doesn’t want to push too far too fast.

“Captain?” a familiar rough voice questions, and Stede is shocked to find Jim sitting behind bars.

“Jim?”

Blackbeard is annoyed by the interruption. “Technically, I’m Jim’s Captain.”

“You’ll be giving me orders over my dead body, Edward Teach.”

“Now, now!” Stede exclaims before Blackbeard can react. “Chosen names are chosen names. You know he’d rather you call him Blackbeard.”

“The Kraken,” Blackbeard corrects angrily.

Jim spits in response. “Well whoever he is, he marooned the crew.”

“Oluwande’s fine.”

“I care about the other guys,” Jim lies, clearly relieved.

“You have no survival instincts. You woke up practically naked under the eye of the world’s most fearsome pirate, and you flirted with me.”

“I did no such thing!” Stede gripes. Brushing his shirt a little in embarrassment, he continues under his breath, “And even if I did, you started it.”

“I’d never been in love, Ed.”

“You had a wife.”

“I suppose I never did properly explain myself with regards to… all that.”

“All that,” Blackbeard mocks. “All that. Never did properly explain.” The voice he uses to imitate Stede is high and whiny. Stede is much more refined than the pirate in front of him is giving him credit for.

He thinks about holding a knife to Doug’s throat at Mary’s art display. Maybe refined isn’t the right word.

But he’s not lily-livered. Not one person could ever call Stede Bonnet, the Gentleman Pirate, that again.

“I’ve bucked up,” he tries, which throws Blackbeard off balance just enough to let him keep going. “When I met Mary–did I ever tell you her name?”

“Never really fucking cared.”

“This isn’t her fault. I did the things I did. And I regret them.”

Blackbeard waits, the kohl across his face patchy from days without adjustment. If this was how Ed truly wanted to be, fine. Stede could at least help him with it. He’s been around the French long enough to know his way around a makeup brush.

He gets back on track. “When Mary and I became engaged, we had never even met each other. That’s just not how things are done. She had land, which is bloody important if you’re not a pirate, and I had money.” Stede looks out the window, the choppy movements of the waves, for a moment, bringing him back to that carriage with his father.

“Peasants marry for love.”

“You’ve had… dalliances, yes? You and Calico Jack, at least–”

“Oh that’s fucking rich, you think you have any right–”

“I haven’t,” Stede interrupts. “Had dalliances, that is. Not of… not of that kind. I was faithful to my wife in every way I was capable.” Blackbeard’s face sours, an awful grim expression made worse by the smears on his face. “But I didn’t love her. And it made me a dreadful husband.”

“Maybe she and I should start sending letters. The Stede Bonnet Fucked Us Over Association.”

“Do you know what I meant when I said you made me happy?”

That brings something to the surface of Ed’s face that Stede has never seen before–a type of pain that didn’t even cross his brow when he was stabbed clean through.

“I thought I did,” Blackbeard mumbled, the left corner of his mouth leering up. “Realized I was wrong, though.”

“You weren’t, Ed.”

Blackbeard stands up, his hand resting over his gun like a sort of comfort item. Obscenely, Stede wonders where the red silk handkerchief is.

“You weren’t wrong,” he reiterates. “You knew what I meant. The problem was that I didn’t. Not then.”

“You fucking kissed me. You knew what you were turning away.”

“I’d kissed Mary before.”

“If you bring up your fucking wife one more goddamn time–”

“But it was different with you. Everything was different with you. What was it you said when we first met? How hard it is to find someone new? You were new. Everything about you is still new, Ed. I put a bloody bookshelf in my quarters and a hidden closet with secret passages built into them. I was crazy. And you liked it.”

Blackbeard’s face is stone cold still. Stede’s not saying what he needs to say.

“I’d never been liked before. I’d never had a single friend. So I thought, maybe that’s what it was. Maybe you and I were those kinds of friends the battlefield makes, or the ocean, I suppose. Bonded by something deeper than others could ever feel. And by the time I realized it was more than that, by the time you kissed me…”

Stede catches his breath, words hitching a little. “It’s a long story that involves a gun and a murder-suicide of sorts, but I decided…” His throat tightens, and he looks down in shame. Ed deserves this explanation, though. “I’ve fought for everything, Ed. I understand it doesn’t look like it from the outside. I had a house, and money, and land. But I had very little choice. You know what that feels like, I’m sure. There was no saying no to weddings, to marriage, to children. So with pirating, I made my own choice. I forced it. This was not a life I was able to live, so I did it anyway. And I’m comfortable with that—comfortable pushing and pushing to get what I want. But you were willing to just give me everything. Start over. Give up pirating and do what we wanted to. A life, a happiness, that I… didn’t have to fight for. I decided I didn’t deserve it.”

Blackbeard has turned away, but Stede knows if they met eyes right now, the brooding pirate would be just as vulnerable as he is, guts more bare and laid out than after any of his injurious stab wounds. He just has to prove that this is real, that this is Stede’s true and final choice. Everything that comes after is irrelevant. Stede has decided.

“But you did, Ed. I took what you deserved away from you. And I know that it wasn’t right. I must stop making others’ decisions for them. If you choose me, you’ll have me for the rest of our—probably very short, given all the treason—lives. And if you choose someone else, which no blame can fall on you if you do, you’ll still have me. Co-captain, first mate, crew or prisoner, my ship is our ship.”

#ofmd #our flag means death #my writing #gentlebeard #is that their ship name? i like that!#also i'm working on a 10k fic that's been being drafted for over a year as of june so like. expect more content but it's probably not gonna #be more of this. the 10k fic is marvel

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masked-marauder · 2 months

Text

THE OLD ARMY GAME (1943)

Director: Jack King

Story: Carl Barks, Jack Hannah

Animation: N/A

Release Date: November 5, 1943

TW: The mention of suicide.

Out of all of the cartoons in the "Donald Duck Goes to War" saga, The Old Army Game has ALWAYS been my favorite. It has such a wonderful mix of slapstick, visual gags, morbid humor, actual drama, and even some good audio gags. I'd even go as far as to argue that this is one of Donald's best outings! Sadly, due to how dark it is, it probably will never be re-released nowadays. While it may be stuck in the Disney Vault, it's also stuck in my brain, so let's see what makes it such a good Donald Duck.

Our story begins with Pete, depicted as the sergeant, inspecting the camp. He goes through the cabins, making sure all of the men are sleeping.

Suddenly, he hears an odd snoring sound coming from one of them. He goes to check it, only to figure out everyone inside of it is just a dummy, including our "hero", Private Duck, and the snoring is coming from a broken record. Why... he's gone AWOL! Oh, that Donald, such a devilish little bastard!

Why, would you speak of the duck!

In a clever visual gag, he sneaks back onto the base after fluffing up his tail and bringing his arms up in the air, making a silhouette of a rabbit. Clever little fella, ain't he?

However, Pete knows that Donald is coming back, so he props himself onto Donald's bed, tricking the tired duck into using his arm as a pillow, providing us with some great expressions from both of them.

Donald himself even states as he drifts off to sleep "Boy, we sure pulled one over on the sarge." Observant as ever, Donald!

However, Donald soon realizes that Pete is right there next to him, so he makes a run for it.

As Pete chases him, he gets an idea, sliding into one of three randomly placed boxes outside.

This is where the cartoon gets its name from as Donald begins spinning the boxes around, similar to the famous shell game. Pete keeps flipping the boxes, trying to find him.

As Donald continues to slip the boxes around, Pete gives up the search, ragequitting by kicking the middle box over the fence while doing a Curly-like wince, not knowing that Donald is IN it. The sharp fence cuts it in half.

Despite falling into the sand, covering his legs, Donald believes his legs have been CUT OFF by the fence. Just a classic little misunderstanding, right?

Donald gets Pete to believe this as well, with both of them now teary-eyed, as Donald is in clinical depression and Pete believes he caused the accident to occur.

Now, I know what you're thinking: Jeez, pretty dark, even for a 1940s Donald cartoon. And while that is true, it gets even MORE twisted. As Pete turns, still sobbing, Donald notices the gun in his pocket. He takes it as he points it against his temple, losing the will to live as he contemplates over whether or not he should do it. That's right. DONALD DUCK IS CONTEMPLATING WHETHER OR NOT HE SHOULD COMMIT SUICIDE. Just another fun Disney cartoon for kids, amirite?

This one frame in particular has always haunted me, with him staring at the screen with his eyes squinted and his teeth showing, as I remember seeing it on a Youtube Thumbnail when I was REALLY little and it absolutely scared the piss outta me.

Instead of trying to stop him, Pete simply nods as he sobs, telling Donald to "do it behind the bushes". As Donald nods, he crawls off, the gun still pointed at his head. It is that this moment Pete realizes that Donald STILL has his legs, and has been bluffing this entire time. This leads to a hilarious visual of Donald crawling off in absolute distraught, complete with dramatic music accompanying it.

As Pete plucks one of Donald's tailfeathers, Donald realizes that his legs are still there! Hooray! Now all of his troubles are over!

Aren't you glad that he's safe, Sergeant Pete? Clearly not, as we get a great visual gag of his eyes turning into literal daggers as they clash against each other. Looks like Donald would be a dead duck either way.

As the two chase off into the night, they come across a sign, saying "National Speed Limit: 35 Miles". Well, they HAVE to follow it! And so the cartoon ends, with Donald and Pete running in slow motion off into the moon. (This also provides a neat little gag where as the music flares up, the drums sound off exactly whenever Pete's feet hit the ground.) The old army game indeed.

All in all, The Old Army Game is an INCREDIBLE cartoon, perfectly mixing comedy with a bit of psychological horror. The voice talents provided by Clarence Nash and Billy Bletcher greatly compliment the amazing expressions. Not to mention the beautiful, picturesque backgrounds, which provide a nice little contrast compared to all the chaos that they're near. While I doubt it'll ever happen, a full on Donald in the Army DVD/Blu-ray collection similar to the Private Snafu one would be incredible, of course with a disclaimer for the depictions of the Japanese present in Commando Duck. You can view this cartoon here!

Oh, and an extra note: All of the gifs used in this review are provided by adventurelandia.tumblr.com. Go check them out!

#donald duck #1940s #1940s cartoon #disney #donald duck in the army #donald gets drafted #dark toons #kinda funny how my first two reviews are both about cartoon characters in the army #disney cartoons

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thealmightyemprex · 1 year

Text

Ranking the Shrek/Puss In Boots movie villains

Those who know me know I love vilains ,and I was interested to see how the Shrek /Puss in Boots villains stack up .

Ones I am not including are Goldilocks and the Three Bear Crime Family cause in my mind they arent villains at all ,they are antagonists but they arent evil at all ,nor am I including the Poison Apple crew ,simply cause they are more henchmen then full on villains (If I do my favorite Shrek side characters ,Captain Hook will definately be on the list though )

First off I dont dislike any of these villains,they all have their moments ,but I am ranking these from least favorite to favorite

Also spoilers

8. Jack and Jill-Puss In Boots (2011)

I love the concept,I have a thing for outlaw couples,Billy Bob Thornton and Amy Sedaris give enjoyable performances (ESpecially Sedaris ) and they have a cute running joke with Jack wanting to settle down and have a baby while Jill is all for continuing in crime . However while they are set up as the main villains ,they kind of take a back seat to Humpty Dumpty ,and frankly they are a touch generic compared to other Shrek villains

7.Humpty Dumpty -Puss In Boots (2011)

OK Humpty very much conflicts me because on papaer he is one of the most interesting Shrek villain ,basically being not only Puss's best friend but his brother ,but went down a far darker path.He feels like an outcast ,and resents Puss for finding his place as well as ,for in his eyes abandoning him,when in actuailaity it was a situation he caused and the only main villain to realize his own mistakes.He should be high up right?.....WEll the problem is while he is well written,I think Zach Galifanakis is SO miscast and I dont care for his performance .Also frankly....I HATE his design ,I'm sorry he is really unpleasent to look at ,he is very unsettling,

6.Prince Charming from Shrek 2 (2004) and Shrek the Third (2007)

PRince Charming is the only villain to be in multiple films ,and he frustrates me .....BEcause I cant put him higher.I love his concept, he is a vain Prince who feels he is owed his happilly ever after ,and in the third film he leads an army of villains to get that.I love Rupert Everetts performance who balances the dashing prince and petulent villain sides well.....My problem is ....He doesnt feel like a threat .See in Shrek 2 ,he is the secondary villain ,as his mother the Fairy Godmother is the main villain ,and when he comes back in Shrek 3, he has been so humiliated and hit rock bottom ,I kind of feel too sorry for him and dont see him as an intimidating bad guy . I

5..Rumplestiltskin- Shrek Forever After (2010)

I debated putting him higher,cause he is effective .A wicked deal maker who resents Shrek for saving Fiona before he could trick her parents into signing a deal with him .He's kind of fun and sinister ,and I am kind of fond of Walt Fohrns very odd line delivery ,his high voice is kind of afun mix of silly and kind of creepy .He isnt higher cause well he feels too similar to both the Fairy Godmother and Lord Farquaad ,just a bit sleazier .I think he is fun but not top tier

4.Lord Farquaad from Shrek (2001)

Farquaad is the first villain of the Shrek series ,and probabbly the most passive villain,he isnt as active as the other villains,but he plays well for the themes of the film. He is a guy obsessed with perfection and looks down on those who he sees as not fitting his idea of perfection,namely Fairy tale creatures .....Basically this guy isnt far diffrent then real powerful bigots. He is also highly entertaining with some great lines and is played wonderfully to hammy perfection by John Lithgow and I do think he has a great design.My biggest issue with him is the short jokes at his expense are kind of terrible and I dont think he is as interesting as the top 3 villains

3.The Fairy Godmother from Shrek 2 (2004 )

The person who makes happily ever aters happen and decides who they happen too .Pissed off that her machinations to have Fiona marry her son, Charming ,went wrong ,she seeks to find a way to get rid of Shrek .She is so wonderfully manipulative,Jennifer Saunders gives such a marvelous performance,she hilarious while also being intimidating.....Plus she gets one hell of a villain song with her cover of Holding out for a Hero

2.Big Jack Horner -Puss In Boots The Last Wish (2022)

Big Jack Horner is a crime kingpin/Pie magnet who seeks to find the wishing star to gain access to all the magic in the world .....Jack Horner might be the most unappologetically evil person in the Shrek universe.Where other villains at least try to pretend to have redeeming qualities ,Jack Horner is a vile monster ,who doesnt care who he has to kill to get what he wants,and he knows,he re4vels in how vile he is ....And it makes him so funny .I adore John Mulaneys performance, for years I have thought he would play a really good villain,and I was proven right .His designb is great too cause he has this intimaidaing hulking body and stuture but topped with this baby face and pink hair , I adore it . I also like that while the film full of characters who grow and change ,Horner is the one character who refuses to ,he litterally rejects the idea of a concience in the form of the Ethical Bug .He is a hilarious cartoony villain who was close to getting the top spot

1.Death -Puss In Boots the Last Wish (2022)

I struggled for a while over who would be number one between Death and Big Jack....But DEath wins.....Because he is the most personal and frightening villain in the Shrek verse to one of the main characters , because he is the embodiment of Puss's fears.He is the opponent Puss cant beat ,and the oppoenent every one must meet .I have hears some say he isnt a villlain....No ,he is.He isnt doing his job ,he isnt trying to teach Puss.....He WANTS to kill him,and is enjoying the chase .Its personal with Death ,Puss has mocked him and not valued life and he wants to SAVOR killing Puss .This might be the best example I have seen of Death as an advesaroy .He is designed beautifully,a red eyed wolf ,with the forma of a raven on his face ,weilding sickle and wearing a black hood,with WAgnar Moura giving a chilling performance .I also love his whistle which creeped me out everytime he showed up. He stands out among the Shrek villains,cause he is the most serious and by far the scariest .I condsidered leaving him off....But the truth is he is my favorite villain in the Shrek/Puss In Boots series

Well thats my list ,who is your favorite

@autistic-prince-cinderella @ariel-seagull-wings @angelixgutz @amalthea9 @goodanswerfoxmonster @marquisedemasque @princesssarisa @filmcityworld1 @the-blue-fairie @themousefromfantasyland

#shrek franchise #puss in boots

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lovetals · 2 years

Text

a few little things

synopsis: a couple headcanons for certain twst characters that all involve you

characters: riddle, ace, deuce, leona, jack, vil, epel, malleus, and sebek

deets: gn! reader, fluff, ooc-ness

notes: ugh, writer’s block hit me like a bitch, but i managed to create a handful of hcs for some characters. i’ve wanted to do some twst content for quite awhile now and this is the only thing i can really label as finished lol. but this isn’t the spot to complain! i’d rather use this as a chance to ask for tips on how to get over writer’s block. so, uh… any suggestions? 👀 👉👈. i’m still open to requests btw—no guarantee that i’ll do it but maybe i’ll get something that sparks some inspo in me :p

riddle

❀ his invitations always extend out to you for any upcoming event at his dorm, which is usually an unbirthday party. there’s always a seat reserved for you when you arrive and it’s right beside him

❀ his voice is never loud when you’re around, he isn’t as harsh with his punishments when he catches a glimpse of you. this leads to ace hanging around you once he finds out just how much trouble he’s in (inadvertently pisses riddle off more because he gets a little jelly with how often you two hangout)

❀ as stated above, since riddle doesn’t yell at you that means he doesn’t punish you at all. his excuse for letting you off the hook is because you’re not a student in his dorm, but it’s hard to believe when the rules you break are one of the school’s, something everyone must follow regardless of your dorm

ace

❀ he usually has something for you to borrow when you need to. ace doesn’t always remember to bring a pencil to class, but on the off chance that he does he always brings two

❀ his teasing doesn’t stop, but he makes sure everyone else’s does. he’ll joke about how stupid the jacket you’re wearing looks but will immediately throw hands if someone else says it

❀ practically drapes himself over you when possible. you’ll just be standing there when ace slings an arm over your shoulders, resting his head against yours as he asks what you’re doing. when someone tries to do the same thing to you he’s immediately swatting them away, saying you don’t like physical touch as he takes their place

deuce

❀ your name always finds a way to show up in his messages to his mom. somehow, he finds a way to connect the topic to you and doesn’t realize it until his mom points it out. there’s a bit of a time gap between her last message and her son’s response when this happens

❀ similar to the one above, deuce lets you meet his mom whenever they talk on the phone. the first time you spoke on facetime she said you looked just as pretty as deuce described. his face burned so bright when you giggled at that

❀ when the two of you went to the museum to hangout deuce went ahead of time so that he could learn all the art pieces and statues so that he’d appear smart to you

leona

❀ leona takes no shit from anyone and he makes sure you don’t, too. if anyone tries to pull something on you he’s instantly on their ass; he might beat them up, too. he doesn’t tell you what he did, but you find out anyways because he scolds you for letting people try to walk all over you with dirt on his clothes

❀ his tail acts subconsciously, always wrapping itself around your arm or leg. he once told you to scram but you couldn’t because of the firm grip his tail had on your wrist

❀ he’s always listening to you even when it seems like he’s asleep. you’ll mention a cute shirt that you were considering to get to only find it on your front doorstep the next day. complaining about someone bugging you? they suddenly want nothing to do with you

jack

❀ he’s always looking out for you without realizing it. swears he isn’t doing it on purpose but you notice how often he stares at you

❀ he always analyzes the food his peers eat and this includes you. however, he actually gets you the food groups you’re missing on your plate rather than just pointing it out like he normally does. he just wants you to stay healthy (bonus: when he makes himself a meal he usually makes another for you)

❀ if your hands are cold he offers you to put them in his tail—only in private, though!!

vil

❀ instantly fixing you up as soon as he spots you. somehow, this man can find an issue with the way you dressed (your jacket is crooked, your hair isn’t brushed properly, etc.). it isn’t until one day when you show up dressed to vil’s standards that you find out why he’s doing this. he waltzes up to you and has his hand out, ready to fix something, when he stops and stares, analyzing you all over. his hand is moving from place to place until he finally settles on brushing something off your shoulder, looking more agitated than usual. couple minutes later, he’s snatching your hand as you both walk about

❀ he has to receive some physical touch from you daily hehe >:3c

❀ lowkey gets jealous when you seem attracted to someone else. vil can appreciate beauty but if you got heart eyes at someone wearing mismatched shoes he is instantly on you, saying you need to raise your standards and go for someone more beautiful and has a fashion sense—definitely someone with blond hair

epel

❀ his family asks so many questions about you and he’s so eager to answer. he tends to ask you the answer to some of these questions since they’re stuff he wouldn’t personally know. once asked you a string of questions that were kinda sus, but when he got to “what wedding theme would you have?” you blurted out, “epel is your family planning a wedding?” he wrote a lengthy letter back home after this

❀ he likes to subtly match with you. vil was the one to bring up the topic of people (normally couples) that match each other’s styles and while epel scoffed at this he started to think about it more and really wanted to match with you. he started off with some matching charms because no way in hell is he going to vil for anything

❀ your enemies are epel’s enemies. doesn’t matter what they did or if they’re kind to him, epel is training for the day he can beat them up. probably pins a picture of them on his punching bag

malleus

❀ he’d be so eager to share a bed with you, plans so many ways to make you share one. he was taught that only married people share a bed so if you guys shared one then logically you have to get married!

❀ when he learned that creating 1000 origami cranes would grant you a wish he made them in one sitting just so he could wish to spend the rest of eternity with you

❀ you know how being in clubs can excuse you from classes? well, ever since he learned this malleus had been trying to get you to join his club so that he can call you out of class when he wants to see you ^^ teachers can’t stop him if he says that it’s for club reasons hehe

sebek

❀ keeps a diary that documents what happened every day, he doesn’t skip any. most of his entries are just him singing high praises about malleus but slowly, your name begins to pop up. first, it only occurred once a month, then twice, then once a week until finally; your name popped up just as much as malleus’ does

❀ the contents about you are actually rather sweet, they were kinda mean at first but gradually you made your way up. he can never work up the nerve to compliment you naturally—sure, he praises you for getting a good score on a test, but i mean stuff like how pretty you look, or how gorgeous your eyes are, or how he wants to take your hand in marriage; so, ya know, basic stuff like that!

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crazydoodlez · 1 year

Note

Give me your replacement cops headcanons please!!

THANK YOU!

Okay so I developed a lot of these guy's headcanons with @mentallyunstableartist so these will seem similar to the headcanons they posted on their spooky month head canon blog.

DISCLAIMER I'm going off of my foggy memory of how they acted in the Storytime animation (I really need to rewatch it) so!

-These two are total goofs

-If there was nothing holding them back from killing (who they think) are the bad guys they'd go on a murder spree. Which is why the higher ups stuck them to watch the security cameras

-Yea their main jobs are watching the security cameras and also answering any local 911 calls. They themselves rarely go out to patrol due to how unhinged these fuckers are.

-Shotgun Menden is Shotty's full name

-Captain Hugh is Cap's full name

-Their birth names are Sanders (Shotty) and Chris (Cap'n). Only each other knows this and they promised to take that information to their graves

-They had their names legally changed to their nicknames and no one else knows them as anything else

-These two place bets CONSTANTLY. Since they're stuck with nothing else to do but watch the cameras they bet all the time. They mostly bet on John and Jack and watching how these two Lovebirds interact.

-The lovebirds (their nickname for John n Jack) tend to forget there's a camera in their offices so Shotty and Cap'n have seen Alllllll the lovey dovey stuff they do.

-Shotty is the one to win most of the bets. They've gotten so much money from Captain this way.

-Shotty is a They/them monarch you can't change my mind

-These fuckers have NO TIME for romance they are simply CHAOTIC BESTIES and have been since childhood.

(they've only fucked once but that's because shotty lost a bet I will not elaborate)

-Shotty has named their shotgun Shotty Jr. Captain is the only one allowed to touch it and even THEN. He's on thin ice.

-Captain is just slightly, slightly less unhinged than Shotty. He becomes More Unhinged when around them however.

-I'm stealing your headcanon that Captain flirts like a motherfucker its my headcanon now

-Also I'm taking your "He flirted with all three at once" headcanon and adding that Shotty dared him to do that

-Shotty has a really good auctioner voice. You know the "CANIGETTATWENTYDOLLAHTWENTYDOLLACANIGETTA TWOOOOOOOO HUNDRED DOLLAHSDOIHAVEANYTAKERSTWOHUNDREDDOLLAHTWOHUNDREDDOLLAH SOLD TO THE MAN IN THE FRONT ROW!"

-Shotty also has a fantastic narrator voice and voices over some of the camera stuff they and cap watch.

-These two goof off and never do their job properly. Evermore would fire them but like. He's short on cops and what else is he supposed to do with these idoits

-When Cap and Shotty fist bump, shotty says "Chaka-powww" in a kind of whispery voice.

-The only time captain has won bets are the following:

When his and Shotty's favorite teams were playing against each other these two got drunk off their asses and Shotty bet some Unhinged Shit if their team lost. Captain's team won and he has Never Been Smugger. He always brings it up to Shotty, much to their chagrin

Captain bet that Jack would propose to John first if ever such a thing happened, and he won

(Speaking of these two show up to Jack and John's wedding despite not being invited and just get drunk off their asses while betting even more)

-Shotty CAN and WILL bite you if you get on their bad side.

-If the 911 phone ever goes off while something interesting is happening on camera, these two will either hastily scream "NOT IT", play rock paper scissors, fight over who has to answer it, or all of the above in that order.

-John and Jack catch on one day that they're watching their actions like a Soap opera and to piss them off Jack taped a little paper to the camera that reads "Not today :>" and then proceeded to fluster the hell out of John. Jokes on them Shotty and Cap still had access to audio.

I'll add on with a reblog if I think of any more but there you go!! These are mostly Shotty centered since that's who I rp as but yeah!!!! :D

#doodlez answers things #doodlez does a write

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herofics · 2 years

Note

League of villains (Maybe just the main three who I'm mentioning here- 💀) with a person who's shit with names? Like, they just can't remember any for the life of them?? 🥲

So, for example, they get a mission to kill someone right (with all the data, name included ofc) and they've surrounded them sure whatever and the reader has a main character moment 😇 and is like "Prepare to die, Jack!"

...Awkward silence...

"My name's Tom?"

Or when they just got recruited and they've started living with the crew and it's like

"Oh, hey Sam!"

"....?"

"You're not Sam?"

"It's Shigaraki you BIG FAT FUCKI-"

"Man, Rebecca always looks like she's blushing 😨"

"HOW DO YOU GET REBECCA FROM HIMIKO TOGA-"

"SHUT UP DANIEL"

"ITS DABI JFIFKENHWIC"

I just thought this would be really funny- may or may not be inspired by me 💀💔

- 🤺

This was actually pretty fun to write :D

•Dabi absolutely hates your inability to remember names, because his name is very important to him and he gets pissed at you every time you fuck it up

•Though you do make a bit of a joke out of it a lot of times, like even if you do sometimes remember you just fucking call Dabi, “Dan” or something similar

•It drives him absolutely insane and you’ve had to run from him multiple times because things got a bit heated

•Twice and Toga are totally fine with, but they’re the only ones

•Toga gets called “Olivia” pretty often, but you also call her many other names like “Tiana” or “Jessica”

•She actually sort of likes the name Jessica for some reason, it probably reminds her of american movies

•Twice gets called a different name pretty much every time you need to call him something, and what you call him also depends on which side of his personality is more in the front

•Shigaraki is even worse than Dabi, especially when you once, just by chance called him Shimura, that was the day you almost died

•You’d been reading something and the name had just stuck with you, and you didn’t know it was his old name and it’s not like you really think about it

•Spinner is the only one that gets consistently called the same thing, and it’s “Godzilla” you call him “Godzilla” because that’s what he reminds you of

•Dabi and Shigaraki are both convinced you’re just straight up bullying them on purpose, and don’t believe you just don’t remember

•Compress doesn’t really care to be honest, he’s never used his real name with the League anyway, so it doesn’t really matter to him what you call him

•It’s more annoying to piece together who you’re talking about when you talk about the other League members by some totally random names

•Everyone gets pretty used to it eventually, but you do sometimes still manage to piss off Dabi and Shigaraki

#bnha #mha #boku no hero academia #my hero academia #dabi #bnha dabi #mha dabi #shigaraki tomura #toga himiko #spinner #shuichi iguchi #mr compress #atsuhiro sako #twice #jin bubaigawara #bnha headcanons #mha headcanons #bnha fanfiction #mha fanfiction

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masakia · 1 year

Note

Hey sorry I saw ur babyfic tag and I just wanted to ask what u thought the situation w Emma (Dean’s Amazon daughter that Sam kills) would be like in context of the babyfic

Is it like holy shit Uncle Sam killed my sister?! Does Emma not die?? Is Dean suddenly 100% less chill about the whole thing because that’s his other daughter?? Is he haunted by his living child, the ghost of what his other little girl could have been?

I’m sorry I’m very normal about this I look forward to hearing more about the story (The little girl is 2?? Which is around the time Dean last bothered his brother in the ep01?? Was the last time he “bothered” Sam his attempt to tell him that he was an uncle??)

Oh I was not expecting an ask about the babyfic this makes me really happy, thank you!

And I was actually thinking about Emma earlier and while her fate would sadly be the same, I do think Dean would get a lot more pissed at Sam about it and he would have tried to reason more with Emma about what the fuck was happening. Like I could see this situation driving them to put some distance between each other and while Dean knows that Sam wouldn’t hurt his not amazon daughter, he still really pissed off cause “monster” or not, that was still his kid! If given the opportunity Dean would totally have raised her alongside his other daughter and for sure he would be haunted by the thought of Emma, especially when his daughter gets older and starts to look similar to what Emma did when Sam killed her (I don’t think the actress really looks like Jensen but I like to pretend that she looks a lot like Dean, if that makes sense).

Also for the baby (she doesn’t have a name yet, but I’ve been leaning towards Mary even if it’s a bit cliche) she would still a bit young, around 8 if I made the math right, and her reactions depends a lot on if she was with Dean and Sam at the moment the whole Emma thing happened, I imagine that Dean leaves her with Bobby when possible (and in the future maybe Cas but he is dead right now, so not really an option) especially in cases where they are pretending they are fbi (but I do think that Dean makes a joke about “take your kid to work day” at least once when she has to tag along because they don’t have anyone to take care of her after Bobby’s death). But let’s say that she was with them, I think that she would be confused initially when Emma says that Dean’s is her father cause like “He is not you dad! He is my dad, you are old!” and while I want to say that she would warm up quickly to Emma, I think she wouldn’t trust her, especially after Emma tries to kill Dean, she is a little kid after all and kids usually see the world very black and white when it comes to bad and good, so in her head her dad is good an people who try to hurt him are bad.

This is getting really long but I have so many though please, this is all to say that I think in the moment she would see things as normal just her uncle killing the bad guy because her dad couldn’t, but when she grows up she realizes how truly fucked up it was and I like to think that she takes a moment to truly mourn the sister she could’ve had, because yes while in a way she has Claire and Jack as her kind of step siblings (by Dean and Cas being a couple or whatever they decided to call that thing between them), it’s not the same as having this sister who shares the same dad as you by blood. (Her biggest moment of rebellion is when Sam refuses to kill Jack cause he has the chance to not be a monster and she is like “Well, so did my sister but you still put a bullet in her!).

Also, I do think that when the little girl was born, around 2003 which according to google is one year after Sam goes to Stanford, Sam was just not picking up any calls that came from his brother, not wanting to hear how he should come back to the family and whatever, so I do think the last time Dean really tried to contact Sam and even thought about just showing up on his doorstep was maybe a month or two after the baby was born, after this his whole focus went to his daughter until John goes missing and he does shows up at Sam’s doorstep, forgetting to tell him “so you are a uncle now so please be careful to not wake the baby at the car”.

#Spn #babyfic tag #this turned out massive #sorry but I truly have so many thought #If you wanna know more please fell free to ask!!#I love talking #ask

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guardkeywolf · 1 year

Text

I cannot get this thought out of my mind:

So I have these OC's named Blitz, who is Hella fine, Wolf, who is her father, and also Hella fine, and Darken who is my Teleportian Wolf boi

Yes the art is by me...

They are pretty much my main C.L.A.W.S

I cannot get the idea out that if they were all in the CODVerse or something...

So this is kinda how I would see them all in it!

They will all also be done separately so it's not all jammed together

——————————————

Yes, these are still my drawings of her. Her look just changes because my drawing style changes and is never the same...ever...

Blitz + background

Buff as hell and Immortal

A Female White Wolfian Ultrian-Hybrid who is pretty much a badass

Hates being called a werewolf like her father

General and Leader of the C.L.A.W.S Group

Can understand and speak every language on Earth

Has a cool katana named Azul Flame and does really cool shit with it

She goes for any gender really but really has a thing for being dom of men

8'8 so super fucking tall and jacked

Invincible physically but can be hurt emotionally (Being Immortal meant she couldn't die with her previous lovers she's had)

Has a biological daughter named Emma who she looks after and also works under her as her Lieutenant...

Her assassin and fighting skills are off the charts and she is one of the most feared women in the world...

Trained by Wolf (her father) at 5 ever since he brought her back from death

5 million years old in Human years... so she's been around for a LONG time too

Has many powers that she uses in the field (that's not super necessary atm)

Still has yet to beat her father in a hand to hand match so she still holds that grudge forever...

Is really Sarcastic but is also a mother at times

Cares very much for her team and other teams sometimes

Working within the CODVerse (mostly Task Force 141):

Definitely retains her General status too; she's earned it by completing many mission solo that would take days for even the best task forces to complete

She takes a liking to the many of the soldiers within their respected squads

Is very quick when it comes to know something is not right as well

Really likes working along and spending time with Task Force 141

She takes a liking to each member and spends time with them all collectively and individually too

Would mostly bug Ghost a lot if she could and he's managed to grow on her and same with him

Enjoys Soap's company everytime she visits and loves hearing his jokes

Talks a lot with Gaz about anything some days and loves giving him insight about things

Talks with Price sometimes too about interesting things going on in the world

Really likes going against each man too when it comes to training and loved helping them all get better

Ghost might be her favorite partner when it comes to knife combat or CQC (Close Quaters Combat)

She'll help point out some flaws when he's fighting too even though he's great at it

Similar to her and Wolf, Ghost has yet to beat her

Blitz's CQC is unmatched but she also uses a mix of other martial arts like Taekwondo, Shōrin-ryū, and a lot of Muy Thai

Her kicks are devastating and could kill a man in an instant

Might sometimes also go on missions with them too and even volunteers if she can

Definitely takes out many enemies and leaves many bodies all around

Usually returns back super bloody while everyone else is clean or dirty from the environment

If someone get hurt, she will get super pissed and go on a killing spree

Super protective of each man too

If one of them is captured or kidnapped she will go by herself and kill anyone in her way to get that man back to his squad under any means necessary too

I hope yall liked this a lot because I really did! I love mixing my characters into video game worlds and their characters...

#blitz claw #call of duty modern warfare 2 #simon ghost riley #john soap mactavish #captain john price #kyle gaz garrick #task force 141 #cod modren warfare 2 #The C.L.A.W.S in COD #my oc in CODVerse #General Blitz Claw #Guard-Key's C.L.A.W.S

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thetwobosses · 1 year

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For the Boss ask meme: #1, #10, #18 for Boss/es of your choice! I'm one of your newer followers so I'm looking through your stuff about your Bosses now and I'm very intrigued 😊

Hello and thank you! :D I'll answer for Meryl, Colin and Eli since they are my main Bosses and the most developed.

1. Is your Boss's name a secret? Do some people know but not others? Do they use a pseudonym? A nickname?

Meryl's full name used to be Meryl Tammesalu, but once the gang stuff got serious in SR2, she legally dropped her surname to try to keep the rest of her family from being as publicly associated with her and thus safer (that and people kept mispronouncing it). The name is Estonian (it means 'oak grove'), as her grandparents were among the thousands of Estonian expats fleeing WW2 to North America.

Colin was born in London as Sean Healey, but moved to Stilwater in his late teens to escape his destitute life and start fresh, experience the "American Dream" and all that. In his mind, a new beginning demanded a new name, because he felt his was too "soft" and "uncool". He picked out 'Colin Alton' because he thought it sounded more sophisticated without being overly pretentious. As the Saints rose in fame, Colin would downplay his past, including his old name. While he didn't manage to scrub all evidence of it, it wasn't too well known either. When Colin ended up stranded in Meryl's universe after SR3, he initially didn't tell anyone he used to go by a different name, so Meryl's searches for a version of Colin native to her universe didn't bear fruit. Colin had figured that if he hadn't changed his name (and thus moved to the US), he probably would have remained languishing in London and he decided he would rather not find out whether that was the case. He ended up ultimately being proven correct, as he and Meryl were confronted by an incredulous and pissed off Sean Healey during a trip to London, but that's a whole story on its own.

Eli's last name is Chase (there should probably be a middle name as well but tbh I've never really wrapped my head around middle names being a thing in many countries so none of my characters have them xD). He's an enby and goes by all pronouns, though generally defaults to he/him, and kind of as a part of that also encourages variation in the pronunciation of his first name. It can be the usual 'ee-lye', but also rhyming with 'Ellie'. Pierce and Shaundi tend to go with the latter and even shorten it to 'El/Elle' as a nickname.

10. How has your Boss changed throughout the games/years?

Meryl has probably changed the least of the main three. She'd initially joined the Saints because it had seemed like a cool and interesting thing at the time (plus she was going through a rebellious phase), and while she did go through a darker, more brutal period after her coma as many Bosses would, her underlying personality remained fun-loving and excitable over her career in the Saints.

Colin would let his vengefulness and quick temper get the better of him at times, especially in Steelport when his knee-jerk reaction was to not let Killbane get away. The loss of Shaundi, and the discovery that while Meryl had led her Saints through almost the exact same situations, her Shaundi still lived, had Colin eventually choose to make a concerted effort to curb some of his worst impulses. It's not perfect, but these days he can usually swallow his pride and take a slight without blowing up over it (though he will grump about it later in private).

Eli has grown a lot in the Saints. He joined up only after Jack woke from her coma and begun reforming the gang, but started out as rather meek and anxious, and with very little combat experience. He stood out as a tactician and strategist though, and once Pierce took him under his wing, Eli really started coming into his own in the gang. Jack gambled and elevated him to lieutenant to replace Carlos despite Eli's similar lack of experience with leadership. After Jack got killed in a Masako ambush and the Saints were torn on how to respond, Eli ended up grabbing the reins much to everyone's surprise (including his own). As much as Eli wasn't a fond of Jack's ruthlessness and penchant for violence, and vowed to not end up following in her footsteps, the later war against the Syndicate forced him to make some uncomfortable compromises. Yet he would never go as far as she did, and would still try and look for non-violent solutions first.

18. Do they have a best/closest friend?

Meryl grew up close with her family, especially one of her brothers. In the Saints, though she was naturally close friends with Johnny, Shaundi and Pierce, she wouldn't find a true soulmate until the arrival of Colin. Despite their many differences in upbringing and personality, their shared traits and experiences in the Saints helped bring them together as friends and then lovers. She also eventually grew a real fondness for Sean Healey, after Colin brought him to live with them in the US.

In his old universe, Colin had been especially close with two people: Johnny Gat, and fellow Brit Colin Faulkner. Colin and Johnny fell in together early on in the Saints, though Colin never revealed to Gat his unrequited infatuation. Johnny's "death" hit Colin hard, but rather than properly process his grief, he buried it deep down and tried to ignore it. Colin Faulkner (a non-Boss AU version of @princessdemeter's Boss) was an (ex-)hooker in Stilwater whom my Colin ended up befriending after his coma. Faulkner soon became Colin's confidante and friend with benefits, in part because he never officially joined the Saints. Colin's hopeless feelings for Gat made him willfully blind to the fact that Faulkner had fallen for the Boss, or that his own affections for Faulkner might have been more than just platonic. Unfortunately the two of them would never have the chance to work things out except in AUs, as a few months after SR:TT, Colin would end up permanently whisked away to Meryl's universe by a wayward piece of Zin tech. There, after somewhat rocky beginnings, he and Meryl quickly grew close. Colin eventually also decided to make peace with his humble origins and reached out to Sean Healey despite their poor first impressions. They found enough common ground to become good friends over the years and Colin even brought Sean over to live with him and Meryl in Steelport.

Pierce became Eli's closest friend in the Saints almost from the get-go. The two of them had similar inclinations towards choosing strategy over brute force methods, making them natural allies in the gang between Jack and Gat's bloodlust and Shaundi taking credit for Pierce's ideas. They also share similar senses of humor and several geeky interests, leading them to enjoy each other's company even outside of "work". They started dating between SR2 and 3 and managed to remain together even thought the strain of the presidency and the Zin invasion. Eli wasn't actually as close with the other Saints lieutenants as most Bosses. While Johnny was alive, the two of them often found themselves diametrically opposed and respected each other more for their skills than character. Eli was initially annoyed with Shaundi's constant one-upping of Pierce as well as her penchant for drugs, but they found a better understanding with each other over time. Of the Steelport lieutenants, Eli and Oleg got along well, while he distrusted Kinzie, remained ambivalent and slightly wary toward Angel and Viola, and absolutely abhorred Zimos. Once in space, Eli and Matt ended up becoming friends, especially since there hadn't been too much bad blood between them back in Steelport, and Eli would often prefer having Matt hack the Simulation over Kinzie.

#this ended up longer than expected #I would have rambled on but it's uh very late and my brain has turned to mush xD #thank you for the questions! I hope they provided interesting answers :)#masschase #meme reply #headcanons #Boss:Meryl #Boss:Colin #Boss:Eli

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