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cboffshore · 3 months

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Sorrow Is All The Rage: A (Relatively) Brief Update

No special trigger warnings apply beyond those in previous parts of this essay. If you have not read those yet, here are links to Part One and Part Two, which are necessary parts of the following essay.

Welcome back to the break room.

It's quiet here today - everyone is off celebrating the office's founding anniversary. There's the usual stuff on the table: half full packs of napkins, extra plastic cutlery, backup packs of soda, and one dead canary.

Next to the birdcage - containing, of course, the usual black-inked brown paper shroud - is a little note: we've moved the party to the courtyard! come join us for some special fun as we celebrate another year!

Okay. Why don't you step outside, then?

So you do. You step into the sun, the breeze, and for a few minutes, things are fine! While you're sipping a small glass of punch, you think, huh. Not sure why they'd put the birdcage in the break room if everyone is out here, but maybe this'll just be a normal -

A glint catches your eye from down the lawn. You hear wings flapping from the same direction, surrounded by the din of a group of people and... cheers. The person who told you that canary was dead all along slips into the circle, holding what you think is a knife glaring in the daylight.

You don't even bother to fact check that. Based on the familiar faces of the dead canary enjoyers standing there, and the rising cheers and the wings beating like petals against a palm, well. You can guess what's about to happen, and you know you can't take it, so back inside you go, and once again you wonder: why are you so bothered about it?

From your cubicle window, you watch other people shuffle away from the corner where the canary waits to die yet again. Clearly, you're not the only one upset. And clearly, it's not against the rules here - they're doing it at a company party! There are managers in there, people you trust, watching and cheering as the thing you feared happens - at least, as near as you can tell from this distance.

You knew it was coming. They didn't hide it. You followed the signs right in, hoping.

So why does it still hurt?

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Before I get into this properly, a disclaimer, because I wasn't clear enough last time I updated this essay: this is not an attack on the author of when you think you're all alone, the fic that I'm talking about here. It is also not an attack on the fic itself.

I repeat: I mean no harm. I mean no insult. This is me venting, which is why it may come off sharp at times. At most, this is criticism - not necessarily constructive, but also not meant as a personal attack. I am examining the scene as a whole and feel the need to update my stance on WYTYAA after its most recent update, because I feel that this fic occupies a very important spot in the scene, and I would be remiss not to make that clear.

One more time: This is a vent. This is not an attack.

Before I continue, kindly answer this comprehension check:

Excellent. If you selected YES, please DM me and explain your answer, if you're so inclined.

Anyway: this essay won't be anywhere near as long as the previous sections. I wrote it on my phone over the course of a few hours, because if I dwell on this too long, I fear I'll get impossibly nasty. However, in the wake of the latest WYTYAA update on January 14, I want to update and clarify my stance on the work as an analyst of the Skybound fic scene.

I will open by saying that I barely made it a quarter of the way into chapter seven before tapping out. The only reason I opened it at all and stepped into the courtyard, so to speak, was because I had heard that it would be Nya-centric. Given the usual balance of Nya-centric work, I thought that might mean a welcome change (and a distraction from the October retcon). Maybe, I thought, it would be fine.

To be fair: I don't think the author retconned in anything beyond mild SA for Nya. However, working my way into the outer edges of the chapter, I could feel my enthusiasm deflating - because I'd seen all the talking points before, in some form or another. The uncomfortable touches, the weirdly detailed fear of what Nadakhan might have done to Nya had the final battle failed, the night terrors. Well, at least it was Nya-centric -

And then there came the Jay angst. That's when I switched to scanning, which saved me precious time. It became obvious early on that somehow, chapter seven had managed to make the entire fic into the average of the entire SA trend I railed against in the previous parts of this essay. In the interest of not spoiling it for anyone who would like to go and read it themselves, I won't say anything, except for that it is exactly what you would expect from the comedown of a Jay SA Skybound work: night terrors and scars and flashbacks and team members throwing concerned comments and shades of therapy dog Nya. Any goodness I remember from the injured canary of the last segment went down like acid now that I could see what it built to.

I quit before I passed the three-quarters point on the scroll bar. If the October retcon was one nail in the coffin, chapter seven was a whole hardware store poured on my head.

In short: no longer worth my reader's time. It solidified so much of what disappoints me about the Skybound fic scene and the runaway fanonization of Jay's suffering.

That's why I'm writing this:to tell you that I have made the decision to leave WYTYAA in the rearview. I will not be reading the finale, whatever that may entail. I have already deleted my bookmarks.

In the previous essay section, I labeled WYTYAA as a seminal piece of work in the scene. I still believe that it is an important piece of Skybound fanfiction. But now, I view its seminal status as an undergrad getting their general education credits would see the writings of Freud. If you've ever taken a psych course, you were probably handed something Freudian to study, then learned of the controversy around his works. Still, there was probably an important note in there: Freud's work itself is not something everyone agrees with, and in fact is rather flawed in hindsight, but his work is influential enough on the world of psychology to be a crucial lesson in Psychology 101.

Is WYTYAA essential reading to understand the scene as a whole? Yes, to a degree - it is at minimum a shortcut to understanding most of the trends and watching them in action. WYTYAA is relentless like that, and I do still admire the dedication it takes to write something that long and keep a reader base hooked. Read as a summary of the entire fic scene at once, this is an incredible work.

By no means am I presenting myself as the sole authority on this topic, by the way - but then again, nobody else I know has tried to do this sort of meta trend analysis in any capacity for this specific topic. So I'm stuck with me, and you are too, if you'd like to be.

And maybe you don't care, but I do. A lot.

In the wake of me giving up on the chapter, I opened Tumblr and was bombarded with excitement for the chapter, and praise for the angst capacity, and all sorts of things - the crowd reenacting the death of the canary at the company party. I saw Mondo's promotional post, which in past weeks I might have left a like on, but I just. Could. Not.

Now we're here.

What does it all mean?

Well, recently, the topic of SA insertion in Skybound has come up a lot. I've been part of some some incredible discussions; I've seen a few scuffles. It's died down some, with only minor flare-ups here and there. As much as I find discussing this topic and defending my stance thrilling, it's not honestly doing much. It's drawing lines, I think. The Tumblr courtyard feels tense these days whenever Skybound comes up.

So: with the decision to abandon my reading of WYTYAA, I've also decided I'm going to try and focus more on my own works - writing fic and analysis that work against the insane, unfair fanon trends. Even if nobody reads them, I will know that I have done my absolute best to influence the scene in my own small way. You'll probably still see me pop into the SA insertion discussion if it comes up, because I do feel strongly enough about it to keep fighting back.

But to protect my own sanity: I'm burning that birdcage down. I'm walking away from the company party corner. I'm not even going to bother checking back on WYTYAA, because there is no new shock left to find.

Challenge me, if you'd like. It's only fair. For now, though: I'm taking a breath at my desk.

#ninjago skybound #lila speaks #Operation: Sorrow Is All The Rage #analysis freak lila back on her bullshit

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smalltendencies · 7 months

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Currently working on a TSP thing where the Narrator is an author who has drafts and scripts scattered all over his home. He works so hard and is proud of each one. They will be published one day, but he has a fear that they won't be recieved like they should.

But unknown to the Narrator, there is a borrower (Stanley or an unnamed borrower... Idk yet) who loves these stories written by the human they see only in glances. They are about scenarios and places they can only dream of. And so every night, when the bean is asleep, they go and read these before they go to sleep themselves; sometimes accidentally being so absorbed in the words they don't stop until the telltale signs the Narrator has woken up causes them to flee.

The borrower is a little shit though (like Stanley lol) and will use whatever writing utensil they have (a piece of lead, some homemade borrower pen with calligraphy ink they borrowed, ANYTHING) to annotate and mark up the pages. A paragraph about why they loved this scene. Underlining their favorite quote. Just showing that someone looks at these endless pages when they will probably not be published for years.

Of course, they don't stop there. Little bastard tendencies makes them also mark out words they hate. Little notes about how they would make the scene BETTER. Why this paragraph doesn't fit with the rest of the narrative. Anything that comes to mind.

While these papers and packets are strewn all over the house on different tables and desks, the Narrator has some uncanny ability to find them the next day. And he is so so confused as to why there is small writing (that he needs a magnifying glass to even see) pops up every night. Is there a ghost? An intruder? Who knows. But they clearly don't know good writing.

Don't get him wrong, he relishes in the happy comments. He enjoys the praise and love in the notes that give him more of an ego boost. But he LOATHES the markouts, the red ink that says he did it WRONG.

Sometimes the borrower can hear the Narrator rant through the walls.

"I don't need the validation of a person who won't tell me their absurd opinions face-to-face!"

"Don't waste my time if you don't even understand the character's motivations!"

"Maybe before writing all over my work, you should sit and think about how this description helps the readers understanding considering the protagonists choice in this moral dilemma."

"This is 'out of character'?! Clearly you have no critical thinking skills whatsoever!"

"Why are you doodling on MY art?!"

The Narrator is just ranting. He doesn't think the mysterious entity can actually hear him. As he slowly deciphers each comment (because that handwriting is chicken scratch and its so small), he will complain, rant, or thank the writer and explain why he chose to do what he did.

The borrower gets bold, and will write above their previous (now marked out) comments. Little snide comments to get under the Narrators skin just for fun. Because all of this is just to make both of their boring lives interesting. He never expected the Narrator to take in a BORROWER'S thoughts. (They have little written fights on sticky notes that last DAYS) Both of them can't wait to hear from the other.

It's not breaking the code as long as they don't get caught, right?

They do get caught. A prank laid out by the Narrator that involves some clear super glue on copied pages (that are also glued to the table Jesus Christ he committed to the bit if he was willing to hurt hardwood) with a note that says something along the lines of "If you know my work so well, why not stick around and tell me that to my face?" What was supposed to be a small inconvenience and joke for a person ends up being near life threatening for a borrower.

And the Narrator finds them the next day stuck and they are scared. More like terrified. This whole friendship they built is crumbled automatically because now the borrower is so scared and the Narrator doesn't know what to do about this whole situation.

#g/t #tsp g/t #tspud g/t #me rambling #there is no vore in this one #the stanley parables #the narrator #borrower stanley #borrowers au #g/t community #unintentional fearplay

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thesweetnessofsalt · 7 months

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Process Blog #1

Process Blog #1 covers the title page and first five pages of Chapter 3.

So lately, I've been journaling while making comic pages. Sometimes it's just to note process things, like what brushes I used or continuity items. Sometimes it's writing related - why I revised a line, or just thoughts I have about the characters while I translate it to the page. Sometimes it's just a joke, or a fun fact that didn't make the final cut.

That's what you're getting in these process blogs: a behind-the-scenes look at TSOS. For the most part, there will be no spoilers in these blogs! If there ever are, I'll mark them obnoxiously. Enjoy!

Title Page

Previous title pages have come to represent a significant location in that chapter. In Chapter 3, the girls finally get to leave the cottage! (Ok, it's only been about a day for them. But for all of us...?)

Originally, this was a day scene because that’s how this location appears in the chapter, but once I got into the interiors, the colors and tone just didn't flow from one to the other. So the banners became string lights, day became night, and I cropped us in for a cozier composition. Now, behold; the flow:

Anyway, get excited for the town scenes. They're good ones :)

Let's talk balls:

Leah’s balls of light, maybe unsurprisingly, are inspired by Eilonwy’s in The Black Cauldron. As a kid, I reeeally wanted those balls.

Leah’s magic so far has been pretty unobtrusive - and that’s not necessarily characteristic of all magic in this universe as much as it’s an extension of Leah. She’s a little repressed. But these whimsical, physical pieces of magic might indicate how Sha’s been making her feel instead.

The balls are basically a swirly brushstroke - I did them that way once, and it felt right. Like they were made by a person - not just once, but over and over, by Leah and by me, in every panel. So I left it that way. I'm doing that a lot lately, indulging in mark-making and leaving things unpolished, just so it's not forgotten: comics are magic, made by people, always.

Wardrobe Changes

Sha's wearing what I refer to as 'the rom-com sweater', a usually white/cream sweater worn by relatable protagonists or appealing love interests (think Nora Ephron flicks - incidentally, another big inspiration for TSOS's general vibe).

I tried inked ribbing at first, but it wasn't quite cozy enough, so I used a couple knit brushes from the Alan Pattern Knit Brush instead (Content ID 1892449 on Clip Studio Assets).

Leah's robe is from the first few pages of Chapter 1, though I took out the pattern for simplicity's sake.

Coo and aww over how Leah turned the stone Sha found into a necklace now, cus that's the only spoiler-free aspect I can talk about at the moment. ;)

There's gonna be lots of wardrobe changes in Chapter 3! It covers more physical time than the previous two chapters, which I find very exciting (and not just for all the opportunities where I get to dress them up).

That's all for now - stuff to look forward in Process Blog #2: Sha's backstory, stylized flashback sequences, and historical inspiration!

And if you have any questions about the process, leave it in the comments! I'll answer them in the next blog.

Process Blog #1 was originally published June 19, 2023 on Ko-fi. Supporters get early access to TSOS pages and process blogs!

#the sweetness of salt #webcomics #process blog

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emdotcom · 2 months

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My Bad Faith Media Recs:

(In which a thing i like a great deal is incredibly flawed/morally questionable/contains harmful themes & views/a combination of these)

Post-Shift 2 (Not morally bankrupt, just a powerful case study on how not to introduce players to new mechanics)

Clocktower 2: Ghost Head/The Struggle Within (IS morally bankrupt & does some absolute fuck-shit on NOT portraying DID, while also portraying things around it that are harmful. Plus, it's just bad to play, the only way you can get through this puzzle game is legit by using a walkthrough (because exploration gets you killed, & trial-&-error Do Not Work), + the endings are unsatisfactory & not worth your time to see)

Elfen Lied (maybe the worst piece of media I wish I could recommend more often, but will not due to how absolutely awful the content is. You NEED to look at the unconsenting media page before you touch this thing with a 100ft pole. It portrays some of the most abhorrent human behaviors, lays bare victims, showcasing their trauma for mere spectacle to keep an audience entertained. It repeatedly victimizes every single female member of the cast, either at an attempt at ""comedy,"" or to villain shorthand the villains while raising up the victims as sad characters you should heap sympathy upon, just so the protags can look like saints when they swoop in & help out. This is a constant re-iteration through an endless series of showcasing really heavy topics, with little to no care in how these topics are portrayed -- something that discusses a heavy subject but will never "handle it well." It's also kind of cathartic, for reasons I would need more paragraphs to explain. I watched it out of spite, & it instantly popped up to my favorite anime, & one of my favorite pieces of media, perhaps, before I got to the graveyard scene & went, "What the fuck?" & Had to stop watching, for a few weeks, only to come back & immediately adore it some more. It's so bad.)

Bendy & the Ink Machine (If you ever have interest in this series, your best way to experience it is by getting the sparx notes on the first game, then playing Bendy & the Dark Revival instead, which rehashes & references the first in a way I find derivative, but it ultimately a much better game to play. I think the first game is more interesting to talk about than it ever was to play, beyond maybe the first chapter -- but only if you treat it as a proof of concept, rather than the first of 5 entries in a single game. I cannot stress how shite it is to release your game in hacked up chunks that all need to be purchased, as basically paid dlc, & I also need to say that going back & making those previous versions unobtainable by mashing it all into one game that can instead be bought all at once does not erase what you were doing for years before that moment. I also need to say the devs are fucking awful for what they put their employees through -- that shit is dire. Also, the chapters are not at all cohesive, & do not "blend." At the end of one, you are teleported to the other, & the connective tissue is weak. The only 2 chapters that feel like they were planned together are 4 & 5, two chapters i speculate were likely originally intended to be 3 chapters, but were squashed into 2 when the devs inserted a new chapter for a character they previously had zero plans for after fans became incredibly interested in her. The series relies upon you reading alternative media like the novels & sequel to justify the first game & its ending. It's bad. It's so bad, & it makes me so angry that I have debated on getting into video essays exclusively to lay bare all the ways I despise this. It is my favorite game.)

#long post #em.txt #something is wrong with me btw

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fuckthisshitimin · 1 year

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About Sex

Chapter 1: Let's Talk About Sex

(read on ao3)

Night Shift will always be his home, certainly, but tonight Sebastian is glad there is not a familiar face here — first, the girl who took his shift doesn’t know he isn’t supposed to drink decaf, and also, he doesn’t feel like speaking.

When he woke up in cold sweat in Angelo’s bed, heart racing and thoughts spiraling, he could only think to get out, to run away, unsure of exactly what he should be fleeing from. He had just enough clarity in him to take his jacket and to put on shoes, and he is glad his wallet was still in his pocket. He isn’t sure what he would have done otherwise. Maybe knocked on Quin’s door. Maybe walked for too long, borrowing cigarettes from strangers.

But it didn’t come to that, and he can relax and cradle his cup of coffee, he can make it last, while his thoughts set like sediment on the ground of his mind. The day was long, he isn’t sure if this is the right order.

He woke up that morning — the day before? Because it is well past midnight and he slept, so this is a tomorrow, maybe, but the night is ink black and the sky seems to know nothing of the sun, so this is not— Sebastian always was nocturnal. He always liked the liminality of it. The when-are-we-exactly feeling, like dust settling on sweat, clutching to the skin, dense and wet, neither cold nor warm, the in-between place of the day when most are asleep, but it always messed with his head, too.

He woke up, when last the sun was in the sky, today or yesterday, held tightly and well rested. He hadn’t dreamt that night — short-lived delights. He felt Angelo’s body before he could see it. He scented his worn-out cologne before he could form a coherent thought. His eyes were fluttering open, and Angelo was warm and hard and pressing against him in his sleep. It took a moment to remember the previous night, Angelo’s mouth driving him through his pleasure, Angelo’s wet chuckle a second before falling prey to slumber, Angelo’s sleepy eyes when he put on sweatpants to open to the delivery man, Angelo’s voice wishing him a good night that miraculously came, and while Sebastian’s mind was busy remembering, his body moved closer to his boyfriend.

He gathered himself nuzzling the crook of Angelo’s neck, relishing in the harshness of the hairs below his jaws. He felt conscience coming back into Angelo’s body, had the luxury to watch his eyes open for the first time that day and the pleasure to know his voice was the first thing he heard, too. A Good morning, a kiss, a moment to assess the situation. An apology, a laugh, another kiss and two sleepy bodies unwilling to disentangle from each other. Angelo’s erection pressing against his hip, a moan and barely enough time to say it’s okay, fingers digging in his back and sobs and sudden coldness when Angelo ran out crying— an Sebastian realized, for how much they lived through together, this was the first time he saw Angelo cry.

Apologies and attempts at reassurance, banging on the bathroom door, are you okay, what can I do, sorry, I’m so sorry, Sebastian made coffee and tried not to cry himself. They didn’t have much time to talk before Angelo was gone to work — and when he came back he carried a weight he did not name, and seemed wary of him. When Sebastian tried to apologize again, Angelo apologized back. They did not talk about it more. And Sebastian had replayed the scene a hundred times in his head already. When they settled in Angelo’s bed, Sebastian’s heart was so heavy it was sinking him down into the mattress— and yet it couldn’t keep him asleep for more than a couple hours, and now here he is, drinking coffee at almost five a.m. in a booth by the window.

No socks under his shoes, nothing but his sleeping shorts— he likes sleeping in his boxers better, usually. He knows why he didn’t. At least he didn’t run away half-naked.

He swore to himself he'd have on cup of coffee, nothing more. Now he grimaces, taking down the last sip, cold and bitter, and he has to keep his promise. To venture back into the night. To come back home, and try to sleep again, or find comfort in a sleeping face, in loving dogs. To smoke in Angelo's living room until his boyfriend emerges from sleep. His heart calmed down a bit, and he nods a few times, taking his empty cup and leaving it on the counter before slipping into the night streets.

The lights are on: Sebastian can see yellow lines piercing through Angelo’s bedroom blinds, and a rectangle of light cut neatly on the grass below the kitchen window.

It is not six yet; Angelo should be asleep. The dogs should be asleep, they shouldn’t run to Sebastian the moment he passes the gate, shouldn’t bark at him, break the eerie blanket of birds singing as dawn approaches, call for a light on the porch when Sebastian is still a few steps away. The door opens in a rash swing, a breathless figure obstructs the light from inside, disheveled and restless.

“Where were you?”

He shouldn’t be awake — Sebastian came back before the alarm was set to go off, he was careful— two arms wrap around his shoulders, he can’t touch the ground for a second.

“What the hell were you thinking?”

Worry and weariness.

“I wasn’t gone that long, Ange—”

“Do you have any idea how worried—”

“I’m okay, it’s not that big—”

“—and what I thought might have—”

“Ange!”

Maybe it’s his tone, maybe it’s Apollo that separates them. Holding onto each other by the elbows, Sebastian catches his lover’s eyes. They gleam in the night.

“I’m okay.”

“You’re okay.”

“Yes.”

“You didn’t take your phone.”

“I forgot. I left—”

“Where did you go?”

Angelo’s fingers on his arms are so tense they might bruise. This is not okay. Oh, oh, he fucked up again. He leads his lover inside, followed by the dogs. He closes the door. “Night Shift. I’m sorry. I’m here now.”

“Did you even think—”

“I had a nightmare. I panicked and I went out— so— I’m sorry I am— I wish I had taken my phone, I wish I left a not— but thinking back, I don’t really think I could have, so…”

“So I shouldn’t have… I thought you left.”

Their voices are stark in the artificial light. “You… sit down. I’ll make us coffee.”

The sky lights up slowly. It’s a strange and marveling process. From black to indigo to green hues. Breaths calming and apologies. None of them will go back to sleep. On his second cup of coffee, Angelo apologizes again. Sebastian doesn’t feel so bad anymore. The sun is rising, it is maybe a good time.

“It’s okay. We have some time till you have to go, now. And I wanted to talk to you, too.”

“About?”

“About sex. We gotta talk about it, while not horny.”

There is a scowl forming on Angelo’s lips again, and Sebastian loves him, he does, but he could punch him right now. He rolls his eyes instead. “Or we can never have sex again, for fear I might make you cry your lungs out again. This was scary, Ange.”

“It was… it was early, and… I got overwhelmed. That’s all.”

“Yeah, well, sex is kinda supposed to be overwhelming? And if we can’t differentiate good we’re-having-fun overwhelming from this-is-unbearable overwhelming, this is gonna be unpleasant for both of us, so we need to talk about it, boundaries and stuff.”

A frown, a scoff, something almost childish that makes fondness growl in the pit of Sebastian’s stomach. He likes the hand Angelo throws dismissively in the air, his pursed lips and raised eyebrows that scream that he is above sex talk. His tone is impetuous. “And ‘stuff’?”

“Yeah,” he lets his voice drag on the word, and Angelo’s petulant attitude is too funny not to feel playful. “And that’s a boundary by the way. A boundary of mine— I do not consent to having sex with you if we don’t talk about it first.”

“And the other night?”

“The other night was fucking great, and consent can be revoked at any time. Now if you don’t want to have this conversation…”

“You’ll leave.”

“What?” Sebastian coughs, choking on his saliva. Angelo’s tone was decisive. Certain. “What made you jump to that?”

“Well, you said you wouldn’t… engage in sex with me otherwise, so I have to guess this means—”

“Breaking up with you? Are you fucking for real?” Sebastian knew, he knew the first night there were some twisted knots in Angelo’s head that might need undoing— he wishes he had made himself clearer then, wishes they didn’t have to have this conversation at all. “You know I love you.”

For a moment, Angelo just stares at him. Mouth slightly open, eyes buzzing with questions. “What do you mean?”

“Take a wild guess, Ange.”

“If I cannot have this conversation… and we never have sex again… you would stay?”

“Yes.”

Another long stare. Sebastian stands firm. He is strong headed, and he needs all his will to convince his boyfriend that there isn’t a hint of doubt in his words.

“Oh.”

It’s small as a whimper. Angelo turns away, to grab his cup of coffee. He leans on the wall, stares at the porcelain while the dark liquid dances inside. “That is unexpected.”

Sebastian hates it, when his fears are right.

“Look, we don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to— but whoever etched in your brain that you should expect to be dumped for not having sex deserves a whole lot of kicks in the ass.”

“I… I don’t know what to say.”

Sebastian sighs, a bit too dramatically, and sits on the counter. The part closest to the wall, where Angelo is within reach. “It’s okay. I’m serious about the conversation thing, but we don’t have to do it right now. We don’t have to do it ever.”

“You really are something, Sebastian Fen.”

“I think you called it a genetic anomaly?”

It gets a chuckle out of Angelo’s lips, and the day grows brighter. The forecast said it would rain.

“And so how do we have this… conversation?”

“I can start with me, if you’d like? And you don’t— I tried some stuff, so I know my boundaries pretty well, but it’s normal if you don’t know your boundaries. ‘I don’t know’ is a legit way to feel about something.”

A nod, a lull in the room, a long sip of coffee. There is no getting used to how piercing Angelo’s eyes are, Sebastian thinks. “I think I would like that, then. So, what should I know?”

It was easier on Sebastian to be focused on Angelo’s discomfort than to face his own, and when he looks down at his body, he can’t help but shrug. “Uhm, OK. So, I like… like, yeah, I told you I’m clitoridean, but I do like penetration, too, and I am pretty sensitive in general? My scars are—” He slides a finger on his left arm, jumps to his ribs. He can see the burnt tissue in his mind. “— more sensitive to pain than they are to pleasure, so not the best playground, actually. Surgery scars are fine, though. And, I use the word clitoridean, but I do not like referring to my genitalia with those terms. Clit feels weird and vulva and cunt make me full dysphoric so, uh, t-dick, or just dick is better.”

He dares look up from his lap. He meets Angelo’s gaze, and he is yet again taken aback by its intensity. “T-dick,” is repeated in a velvet voice, tried for the first time on Angelo’s tongue, and like a studious child learning a new word, he uses it in a sentence, “I liked sucking your t-dick the other night,” and it is detached in the strangest way, a way that makes Sebastian hide his smile behind his hand immediately, cheek burning.

“Ah, yeah. Do you… do you have preferred terms?”

“I must say I never thought about it. But I always had an aversion for the word shaft.”

The smile turns into laughter at the disgust on the scientist’s face, and he takes notes. “Okay. We’ll figure it out. If you want. I mean, you said you liked my voice so…”

“So you figured I might be into dirty talking?”

“Something like that?”

“It’s… a fair guess.” Angelo shifts on his legs, moving from the wall and barely a bit closer to his lover. “We will have to try this.”

“… yeah.” It’s hard to keep his mouth dry under these eyes. “I like how you look at me—” isn’t what he meant to say, but it rings entirely too true, so he doesn’t take it back “— and I like… well, I tend to prefer being in control. I don’t… I don’t really enjoy the feeling of being taken over? If that makes sense? And, being surprised. It kinda… scares me. Like, if you were to pin me to the wall out of the blue, I would not react nicely. At all.”

“I… was not planning to do that.”

“Good. But if you wanted to pin me to the wall, or down on your bed, or on this kitchen counter… you could ask me. I am quite good at saying no when I don’t want something— and I am good at taking a no, too. I’m serious about this one, Ange. You can say no to me any time, any place, and it won’t ruin anything. Actually, saying no is really hot.”

It draws a line between Angelo’s brows, “I don’t see what you mean.”

“The more comfortable you are saying no, the more certain I can be you mean it when you say yes. That you will tell me what you want and don’t want. That you’re doing this because you want it— and thinking you’d want me as much as I want you… well that’s really, really hot.”

“I see.”

The room, too, is getting hot, the air and the stare and Sebastian’s fingers clutching the counter. “And what you said about… walls. And counters. I think I would be amenable to the idea.”

It sounds like an offer, and Sebastian had not planned for this conversation to go in such a direction. “You mean asking if you can—”

“I think if you were to pin me to the wall out of the blue, I wouldn’t mind a bit.”

Oh. Oh. It’s something else, a snake twirling in Sebastian’s stomach. “Shit, I wanna do it now.”

“You could. You can.”

Sebastian takes a long, deep breath in— a breath charged with Angelo’s shampoo and general proximity. “We’re not done with this conversation.”

“Right.”

“I think I’m clean, but I haven’t been tested in a while so, maybe lean on the safer side. I don’t know about you?”

“I am. My blood is checked regularly. And are you… if we were to have… unprotected intercourse—”

“If you were to fuck me raw, yes?”

Exhilarating— how Angelo Volta trips on his tongue, how his eyes go wide and then small and wide again, how elegantly he moves a hand in the air between them. He is blushing. He opens his mouth, with an air of hesitation, and Sebastian decides, maybe he can save him the trouble: “No, there wouldn’t be risks of pregnancy. Even before I started T, I was sterile, to be honest.”

“You were?”

“Yeah. We knew pretty early. I don’t… I don’t remember what they said. Just, complicated words ands tests and… yeah, well that’s beside the point. I don’t… really wanna talk about it. But, uhm… oh, yeah, have you heard of the traffic light system?”

“The… no, I haven’t.”

“It’s a safe word, of sorts. More nuanced. Green is go on, Orange is this is good but no further, Red is stop. And you can like. Just say the color, or ask ‘what color?’ when in doubt. If you’d want to use it.”

Angelo nods, and his coffee must have gone cold, now. He grimaces when he swallows the last sip. “Quite straight-forward, I like it.”

“Cool. Now I told you about me. Do you want me to know anything? How do you feel about… all that?”

Angelo puts his cup away, limping to the dishwasher. Porcelain clatters against porcelain. “I feel… a little confused. Curious. I know I want to do these things with you— but I do not know where to start.”

“You say these things. What things are you thinking of? Like, the first thing on your mind, don’t think, now!”

“The wall.”

It’s adorable, the way he dances around the words, the way he comes back to where he was a second before, between Sebastian and the wall, arms hanging uselessly at his sides. And his words from earlier still ring in Sebastian’s ears and maybe— maybe they talked enough. He wants to hear more about what Angelo desires. He wants Angelo. And it’s unfair, thinking he could do both at the same time. “Now?”

“Yes.”

A second to jump off the kitchen counter, a second to take the first step. A second to put his hands on Angelo’s hips, another to breath so so close to his lips. A second to take another step, to push his boyfriend with him— he uses little force but there is no resistance beneath his palms or against his chest, not when he presses Angelo against the wall, not when he takes his lips and pushes harder, clinging tighter. A second to taste and bite, a second to back away, to recognize the heavy-lidded gaze pinning him. “Was that okay?”

“Yes. I like it when you guide me.”

“Good.” He can’t suppress his smile, and feeling a shiver running down Angelo’s spine makes him lick his lips, almost unwillingly. “Anything else?”

“I like kissing you.”

And so Sebastian kisses him. He lets Angelo’s elbows settle on his shoulders, Angelo’s fingers in his hair. “Is that all?”

“No.” He can see Angelo swallowing. He wants to kiss his throat, his Adam’s apple while it bobs. “I would like—” a stutter, a hesitation.

“You would like?”

“Can this— not lead to sex, necessarily?”

“Of course.” The boundaries of what sex is, exactly— when does it start? When it involves genitalia? When you decide it starts? When you search for an orgasm? When you get undressed? There is no clear limit, they will have to figure it out on the fly. “I like that. Making out with you. It doesn’t have to lead anywhere.”

A nod.

“Then I think, right now, I want to make out with you.”

Hands and tongues and moans, they do. Laughs and pleas and mouths, they do. Quietly against the kitchen wall, languid explorations and hesitant beginnings, they do. Hungry of each other and contempt against their lover, they do.

#nsp #sebangelo #sebastian fen #angelo volta #mikhail writes #NSP fic #night shift podcast

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thegreatlibraryfangirl · 1 year

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I posted 1,231 times in 2022

That's 264 more posts than 2021!

198 posts created (16%)

1,033 posts reblogged (84%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@gay-otlc

@thegreatlibraryfangirl

@rosalind-of-arden

@solreefs

@orangeandpeppertrees

I tagged 647 of my posts in 2022

Only 47% of my posts had no tags

#the great library - 294 posts

#wolfe/santi - 44 posts

#christopher wolfe - 33 posts

#whump - 26 posts

#fanart - 24 posts

#dario santiago - 21 posts

#asking things - 21 posts

#glain wathen - 16 posts

#jess brightwell - 15 posts

#the great library fanart - 14 posts

Longest Tag: 135 characters

#i have a truly excessive number of thoughts regarding darios betrayal scene and his multiple rationales and the way that khalila reacts

My Top Posts in 2022:

if the great library characters became animals, what would they be and why??

(I have seen your previous ask, it's epic, but my brain is currently refusing to answer it, apologies)

ok so, easiest first:

Wolfe

Crow.

Why? Because of 'Stormcrow', of course. Also:

They are fairly solitary, usually found alone or in pairs, although they may form occasional flocks.

Source RPSB website

Fun fact btw, Gandalf is referred to as Stormcrow, and this article has a lot of stuff about Gandalf being seen as a harbinger of chaos and destruction that works very well both for Wolfe's personal circumstances and his job confiscating originals.

Rather than wolf as an alternative, I could see Wolfe as a black panther (melanistic leopard).

Again, a loner animal, but this is more playing off Jess' obsession with pointing out that Wolfe is lean and athletic in physique (S&P has it like 3 times, other people say various things about Wolfe's size throughout the series).

Santi

Dog. Of some huge, imposing and loyal type. Suggest breeds for me in reblogs or something. Google informs me there is an Italian livestock guardian dog breed called Maremmano, so that'll do for now. Or a mastiff, maybe.

Jess

Ok so before I even think of anything at all - Thomas canonically compares Jess to an otter, in Sword and Pen. How very heterosexual of you, Thomas. So we have to consider this!

Other than that, thank you Thomas, I think Jess is a dog too, for how much he enjoys affection and the exercise of the High Garda Specifically a Jack Russell terrier (small, fearless, English in origin, incredibly persistent).

Jess himself might identify as a rat, as a fuck-you to both Dario and his father. The brown rat, which is actually apparently nicknamed "street rat" according to Wikipedia.

Note, the Wikipedia article on black rat gave me: "The black rat also has a scraggly coat of black fur, and is slightly smaller than the brown rat." paging @wheel-of-whimsy can you headcanon the Brightwell twins as these two rat types??

Khalila

I should really have put her first tbh, as the most solid one of all; I headcanon her as the blackfooted cat. It's one of the tiniest wildcat species, and it is known for being particularly fierce when it defends itself. Tiny predator Khalila. I will say no more.

Dario

Reluctantly, I'm actually going to call Dario a lion. Like, a lion who's bad at fighting. Royal associations obviously, needs a group around him to survive. Except he'd be bad at being the head of a pride for aforementioned fighting reason. Dario as Scar, is what I'm saying here. That or he's just a standard pampered housecat. Take your pick. (Note, the domestic cat is actually much more social than people think!)

Maybe he's a wasp. Stabby stabby, underappreciated lol.

Glain

Glain is a difficult one. Argh. Suggestions welcome. Soldier ant??? That seems unfair. Ink and Bone Glain is a bit of a honey badger tbh, but idk about later. Is she a lioness, actually?? Quite possibly. Part of a family team, killing machine.

Thomas

Thomas' two main traits are Big and Genius. (Yes I know there's obviously more to him than that but we're simplifying). Therefore he's an elephant.

Morgan

I know I always say this every time a personality/categorisation thing comes up, but god damn it Morgan is hard to do. Her entire arc imo, start to finish, is based around not wanting to be enslaved, ended up enslaved anyway, and then being a martyr. What does she enjoy doing? We don't know. What are her skills, hobbies, characteristics other than 'gets Jess' dick hard'?? Smoke and Iron and to a degree Sword and Pen does give us more insight into her, but only based around "How do I get out of this?"

OK, so creative, intelligent, ridiculously determined. Also magic powers. Idk. Grey parrot.

21 notes - Posted July 22, 2022

Kahlila and Dario rock up with their fancy swords and Santi's like "No. You're doing this whole combat thing wrong. We're going to be running laps and here's a gun."

Oh definitely 😂 dario would be devastated 😂

though I must point out that Khalila is canonically proficient with a gun and at least one of her impressive kill count in the series is from a gun.

Wolfe can throw knives too, wonder if santi needed to have this conversation with him too?

21 notes - Posted July 30, 2022

I have no brain but like, there's definitely a fascinating attitude towards religious thinking, external locus of control, seeing things from his life partner's point of view idk, about that bit in S&P when Santi asked Isis to help protect Wolfe

23 notes - Posted December 18, 2022

Caine wrote a whole 5 book series where at no point do characters cook or visibly provide themselves with food in any way. I aspire to that level of 'details don't matter'.

35 notes - Posted June 18, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

This is Writing, right???

49 notes - Posted August 24, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #my 2022 tumblr year in review #finally got round to this #nearly half my posts have no tags oops

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charthanry · 2 years

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BBS: My Favorite Moments for Everyone Else

Here are my favorite moments for the characters on the show not named Pat or Pran. My choices include only those characters that move the story forward in some way, so you may see some of the smaller bit characters missing in action, otherwise we’d be here ALL DAY breaking down play crew member #4 who bumped Pran’s shoulder in passing.

If you’ve missed my previous posts on favorite moments, please check them out:

My Favorite Pran Moments My Favorite Pat Moments

KORN // EP9: Uncomfortable, my ass! It’s me you’re talking to here. I can solve any problem for you.

How much do we love that Drake gets to crawl out from under his usual role as problematic guy to turn in this endearing performance of bestest dudebro of the series? And it’s not even a close race. We came to BBS fearing our expectations would be met with the Korn character- just another typical antagonistic sidekick whose antics we’d have to sit through. Admittedly, P’Aof really had us in the first half but completely subverted our expectations in the later episodes. Korn is the type of guy who has your back no matter what. He’s that one friend who would help you bury a body, complaining the whole time, but still ask you how deep to dig. We saw him running towards Pat at the end of this episode when Pat was outnumbered by the goon brigade yelling “What are you doing to my friend?!” and without hesitation bursts into the fray with fists flying. His loyalty to Pat leaves no room for doubt. And yes, he still has a lot of growing up to do, he’s a college-aged loudmouthed jackass with zero filter BUT we also see why Pat is friends with him in spite of all this. Korn shows up for his friends when it matters, all while sporting a colorful windbreaker du jour. What more could you want in a bestie? Maybe better taste in outerwear apparel, sure, but really what more could you ask from someone who’s consistently got your back?

Runner-up moment: Korn, you asshole! You’re always putting me in these shitty situations! said by Pat in EP4. I ship their bromance so much.

WAI // EP10: Look at those murderous eyes she’s giving me.

Waisel, where do I begin with you? I loathe Wai so much that he’s earned the name Wai the weasel (Waisel) from me and everytime I see him on screen, I shoot my stankiest stank eye at him. Everything he does in EP9 and onward is not enough to redeem his character. He can take his unreasonably aggressive, extremely problematic, gaslighting, emotionally abusive, guilt-tripping, relationship-outing self and just go somewhere else, anywhere else. What makes it even worse is his sense of entitlement to Pran. His inability to see how completely toxic his behavior is to anyone not named Wai. I mean even Ohm questioned Wai’s behavior on Soonvijarn, because Ohm is truly one of us. So my favorite moment of Waisel will have to be this scene just for the self-awareness and recognition of all the muderous eyes on him, mine included. I will never forgive the show for brushing what he did under the rug.

INK // EP5: I already have a ton of hot friends. I can’t afford to lose the only crappy friend I have.

I love Ink so much in this scene and for how well she understands Pat. Once again, P’Aof challenges the negative perceptions that a girl’s sole purpose is to come in-between our main couple. Female characters have other, more interesting things to do than to play third-wheel or be a villainous foil to our lovers. They have better things to do like fight off an entire faculty to be a peer mentor to their crush. They don’t have time for silly boys and their I think I might be falling for my frenemy awakenings. And how much do I love that Ink is a fully realized character with her own motivations and that she doesn’t exist to simply serve a narrative purpose? Other shows, take note, this is how you treat your female characters- with the respect that they’re wholly three-dimensional human beings with thoughts and motivations of their own.

Runner-up moment: You’re someone whose smiles I want to keep only for myself. So sweeeeet!

PA // EP10 - Pa sniff kisses Ink on the cheek and the WLW faction of the fandom collectively squees.

I love this moment so much for our girls, but especially for Pa. Just a 3-second blip in a song montage but it says so much about their relationship. How their shared love of photography comes across, how Pa is still adorably shy around Ink that she ducks her head blushing after the sniff kiss. It’s all so saccharinely sweet that it makes my tooth ache. I love that after all the doubts and second-guessing, Pa decides this is the person that I like, I’m going to do something about it and JUST GOES FOR IT. How much do I absolutely adore that the youngest and tiniest person on the show turns out to be the mightiest. Get it, gurrrl.

Runner-up moment: Her four-step love signs that allowed Pat to see that Pran was the one for him.

UNCLE TONG // EP11 - But I also want you to know that this world can’t change someone like me.

Guys, got room in that group hug for one more? 😭 Uncle Tong is the epitome of someone who dances to the beat of his own drum. He knows that what he does may appear meaningless to others but it means everything to HIM and in his book, that's all that matters. Not to be morbid, but when he does leave this mortal coil, there’s zero doubt that he’ll go with a smile knowing that he dedicated his life’s work doing what he loved. And you just have to admire that sense of self-worth and hard-nosed committment. He instills this belief in our boys, teaching them that the world may never rise up to greet them but so long as they stay true to themselves (and each other), who dare stand between them? Wise words that our boys take to heart and live out admirably.

Runner-up moment: EP6 - Hold on tight, I’m fast and furious. (I love that the subber/translator has a punny sense of humor).

JUNIOR // EP6 - I don’t (have that kind of friend that won’t talk to me). There’s no such guy like that, right?

There’s such an innocence to Junior that is completely endearing and I love how he becomes a member of PatPran’s found family at their home away from home. Their entire conversation on the back of the pickup truck was hilarious. I love how clueless Junior innocently played into their layered conversation. Pran is obviously trying to not let Pat rile him up only for Junior to turn around and ask: P’ do you have that kind of friend (who won’t talk to you)? And Pran throws it right back at Pat- I don’t, because all of my friends are annoyingly talkative. They won’t shut up. Bwahaha, touché Pran. Junior served allowing Pran to spike it home. Well done, little dude.

Runner-up moment: EP11 when he runs back to give PatPran a good-bye hug and makes them promise to up their fishing skills when he sees them again. My heart couldn’t handle the cuteness that is this scene. Their found family is love.

MING // EP12 - Shuffling his feet as he returns mail to the correct mailbox.

It’s this and the moment right before where he looks down at the painted line between their two trashbins that you can see the stirrings of regret, it’s almost pitiful. And it hurts us to watch because we know all of this could have been avoided. The root of all turmoil falls on Ming and it’s upsetting that knowing this, he still perpetrated that he was the one who was wronged and taught his children to hate because of his own shortcomings. I’m not sure that sympathy is deserved here but I still feel for him. His relationship with his son is hanging by threads all by his own doing. The only concession I’ll give him is that this moment right here in front of the trashbins and mailboxes shows that there are seeds of regret being sowed. That he might one day be ready to outwardly accept Pran in Pat’s life, but right now he can’t show that he’s softening because of face-saving reasons so he quietly returns the mail to the correct box and goes on his way. It’s really sad when you think about it. A giant of a man reduced to... this.

Runner-up moment: EP12 - Taking a sip of Pran’s liquor gift when he thinks nobody is watching. And then continuing to do so even when he knows his wife sees him.

MA // EP12 - Just leave it to their generation.

This is too little too late ma’am, but still I’m happy you’re willing to speak up for your son though he could have used it years before this. You are an accomplice in your husband’s actions, especially because you knew the truth all along and didn’t speak up for TWO DECADES. I side-eye you so hard lady. You knew it was wrong but went along with it anyway. The silent enablers are the worst. And not only this but to try and explain it away that grandpa was hard on dad too, well, that’s not Pat’s problem is it? You’re contributing to a vicious cycle here. So your “let’s just let them be” is too little too late. I know the source of the problem is Ming but for mom to complicitly go along with it when she could have put a stop to it years ago, especially when it involved little KIDS- that’s not something you can easily come back from. Ming was blinded by his own guilt, yes, but mom was a neutral party to the entire thing but chose to be mute and blind anyway? She literally made that choice. Do better, mom.

Runner-up moment: EP10 - Dad, we haven’t thanked him yet. We’re the adults here. This small moment gave me so much hope that you’d FINALLY say/do something, anything, but alas no.

DISSAYA // EP12 - Her smile when overhearing Pran’s laughter with Pat.

If looks could kill and also bring someone back to life then all hail Madam Dissaya. Her quiet smile here says so much more than any words ever could. It’s the silent acceptance that her son is happy so that’s all that matters to her. She’ll put aside her greivances for now and take it up with the person responsible rather than the younger generation. Pat might not have a permanent seat at her dinner table anytime soon, but she probably won’t question Pran’s choice in his life partner any further. It’s the genuine joy she hears in his laughter that seals this decision for her. Her only son’s happiness is more important, has to be more important, than a long-held grudge. Ma’am, please accept this slow clap from me. This is the ultimate character growth and it’s just so, so satisfying to see.

Runner-up moment: EP12 - Her reaction to watching Ming outside Pran’s window. Such great nonverbal acting! We felt what she felt. Annoyance at first, then confusion followed by being at peace after. A whirlwind of emotions conveyed in mere seconds, so well done.

Dad // EP12 - Smiling as he head nudges mom’s shoulder. “This show is just so good.” (Yes, yes it is).

Dad, you were no more than window dressing for much of the show but I commend your energy here. I also acknowledge that you mostly deferred to your wife with the whole next door rivalry because you understood her pain and where she was coming from. Good husband. But good father? Jury is out on that one. You and Pat’s mom should seek professional help on how to parent. They probably have a 2-for-1 groupon somewhere. It’s honestly amazing how well Pran turned out no thanks to you, sir.

Runner-up moment: EP12 - Conspiring with Pran on his guitar’s whereabouts. Dad was cute here.

CHAI // EP10 - I’m glad though. No matter how much your parents despised each other, their children managed to get along. I think one day things will get better.

You didn’t think I’d leave out old reliable Chai did you? One of the few reasonable adults in PatPran’s life? How he knew when he saw them together in the music store back in EP3 that there was something going on but never outed them? (Learn from your elders, Waisel). Chai was around to witness all the rivalry as the boys were growing up and probably saw most of this coming. How he just minded his own business and let everyone figure their own shit out, but conveniently popped up when needed to diffuse any tension? You’re my kind of people, Chai.

Runner-up moment: Do you want me to stay with you? said to Pran in EP10. Oh, Chai. You kind-hearted loveable creeper that you are, take this cookie.

They say a show is only as good as its supporting cast and that's definitely true here. OhmNanon are the obvious heavyweights and the series headliners, however, it was extremely important that the supporting cast (especially the parents) were well cast and I think P'Aof and his team hit it out of the park with their choices. We needed to believe what was at stake for our boys. The parents had to be intense (which they were, well two of them were). The friends needed to be fully realized characters and not just caricatures and I think most of them are. As much as we all want a show of just OhmNanon interacting with each other (yes, please! where do I sign up?), if they had to interact with others, this was a good supporting cast for them to play off of. I truly have no complaints. Well, except for Waisel. But don’t get me started on that again because I will climb on my soapbox and never get off.

#bad buddy #bad buddy series #bad buddy the series #pranpat #another favorites list #long read #sorry about that #my stuff #rambling thoughts #I limited this to those supporting characters that actually contributed to the story #pat and pran's friends were mostly there for comic relief or to fill-in as a body so that's a no on them #sorry not sorry #otherwise this post would have gone on forever #I think I captured most of the major players though #BBS #bad buddy brain rot is real #pat x pran #patpran

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hunxi-guilai · 3 years

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You mentioned in a previous ask about the line between romantic and platonic, or whether it's a false dichotomy. I've actually been wondering/maybe obsessing about this #theasexuallife and was wondering if you had any recommended reading on that? Also obligatory Untamed question, what do you think of the scene where LWJ puts down his umbrella and puts his face to the rain? ~A long time lurker who only discovered CQL from looking up Classical Chinese on tumblr and loving your blog that much

(that is such a chaotic-academic way of getting into CQL and you are so valid for it, anon)

A gifset went by not too long ago, beneath which I tried (and mostly failed) to get my thoughts and feelings about various umbrella scenes in CQL out in words. The thing is, from a production standpoint, rain scenes are more work-intensive for logistical reasons (rain towers, rain curtains, controlling levels of costume/wig dryness, water-proofing cameras and camera equipment, make-up reapplication between takes, etc), so I’m generally inclined to read the setting of particular scenes in the rain as deliberately significant from a symbolic/narrative perspective since the directors went to such trouble to get a rain scene in the first place.

A list of rain scenes off the top of my head in the show:

the aftermath of the fall of Lotus Pier

Wei Wuxian buying food / Jiang Cheng’s capture

Wen liberation at Qiongqi Dao, closely followed by

wangxian parting at Qiongqi Dao

wangxian flight from Jinlintai

Guanyin Temple

I don’t think I can offer a Single Coherent Rain Theory, but here’s a wild stab at a Unifying Umbrella Theory:

I’ve seen interviews with the CQL cast members that reference the Qiongqi Dao rain scene--apparently, Xiao Zhan, Meng Ziyi, and Yu Bin all spent the previous day being soaked and miserable, and when Wang Yibo was due to show up the next day, they were all excited (Wang Yibo included) for him to come share the sogginess.

And then the next day, the directors looked at each other and agreed that “the character of Lan Wangji couldn’t get wet,” which is how we get that lovely shot of Lan Wangji carrying a positively luminous umbrella.

(Xiao Zhan, reportedly, was not amused)

Lan Wangji, as a character, is one that exists slightly above and beyond all the others--he has an otherworldly quality, a superhuman aura, an untouchable presence. He walks through battlefields wearing white and remains unstained. His sword is named for his virtue: 避尘 Bichen, “to avoid worldly dust.”

And then there’s the confrontation at Qiongqi Dao, and at the end of it, after Wei Wuxian has already gone, Lan Wangji lets the umbrella fall from his fingertips and turns his face up to the rain.

In Wen Qing’s character song, we see the usage of 风雨 fengyu / “wind and rain” as a figurative reference to the worldly conflicts of the show; to a certain extent, rain can take on a similar metaphorical valence as 尘 chen / “dust,” which accumulates on people as they become more and more tangled in human affairs. As a result, Lan Wangji deliberately setting aside the umbrella, letting himself become soaked by the rain, becomes a wordless statement, a symbolic manifesto.

(If Wei Ying will be drenched by the rain, then he will too--)

When Jiang Cheng tears through the doors of Guanyin Temple in episode 47, we get this absolutely stunning shot:

This umbrella is the one that most closely evokes the one Lan Wangji carries in episode 27--it has the same white-paper, ink-splash aesthetic except this time, there is blood running in streaks and dribbles down its formerly-unstained surface.

And Jiang Cheng ignores it. Jiang Cheng walks through the rain, letting it soak into his fine robes.

Because what is an umbrella? An accessory, a tool--most importantly, I should think, it is a shield. A buffer, a barrier between yourself and the rain, between the conflicts and worldly dust of a petty mortal world and the spiritual self, capable of impartiality and transcendence.

And Jiang Cheng has been mired in this vicious, bloody world since the fall of Lotus Pier over sixteen years ago. Jiang Cheng has no more need of an umbrella, of shielding--he waded into the dirty, gory mess of battlefields sixteen years ago and never emerged (there once was a war, and in many ways, Jiang Cheng is still fighting it). He has never had the luxury of remaining aloof, untouched, unstained; Jiang Cheng has had his hands full since he was nineteen and a new sect leader. With a sword in one hand and a whip in another, he doesn’t have the time or space for the luxury of an umbrella.

There is so much contrast and resonance between these two moments, calling back to each other across twenty episodes. Two of the most important people in Wei Wuxian’s life must cross through a storm to get to him. In episode 27, Lan Wangji doesn’t quite get there in time, and it’s not until episode 42 (fleeing Jinlintai, in the rain) that Lan Wangji gets to be as thoroughly soaked as Wei Wuxian is, that the two of them are truly in it together.

In episode 47, well, Jiang Cheng has always been there--from the three of them in episode 16, breaking the news of the fall of Lotus Pier to Jiang Yanli in the pouring rain, somewhere in a forgotten forest, to the reveal in episode 50 that it had been Jiang Cheng who had distracted those Wen soldiers all those years ago in the rain. Jiang Cheng has been there from the beginning, without umbrella or shield.

#but what about that moment in episode 16/50? of Wei Wuxian carrying an umbrella in the rain?#hell if I know. someone else will have to finish the Unifying Umbrella Theory for me #g'night friends #ask and ye shall receive #Lan Wangji #Jiang Cheng #ep 16 #ep 27 #ep 28 #ep 42 #ep 47 #ep 50 #I think that's all of them #sorry anon I wish I had good resources on asexuality vs. aromanticism and nuanced articles on the merits and pitfalls of the #split attraction model but alas I am not very well-read on these subjects

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master-sass-blast · 3 years

Text

Care and Trust: Chapter One.

Part One, Part Two, Part Three, Part Four

Summary: "The shockwave hits second.

You’re strolling through Avatar Korra park, out on your lunch break. It’s a beautiful, late winter day; with the sun shining high up in the sky, it’s warm enough that you aren’t shivering like a frightened kitten as you amble along the plaza.

Several people gasp, and you look up in time to see a fireball pluming up over the docks.

And then the shockwave hits.

It hits your chest like an armadillo tiger; the explosion roars through the air, making your ears hurt. You go down, grunting when you hit the snow-covered knoll behind you.

You stand with a groan, brush yourself off, then start booking it to the nearest hospital.

Shit like this always demands all hands on deck."

AKA Plot Finally Happens.

Pairing(s): Lin Beifong x Reader.

Rating: T.

Word count: 2.1k.

The shockwave hits second.

(But, as they say, all good things must come to an end.)

Several people gasp, and you look up in time to see a fireball pluming up over the docks.

And then the shockwave hits.

It hits your chest like an armadillo tiger; the explosion roars through the air, making your ears hurt. You go down, grunting when you hit the snow-covered knoll behind you.

Cries pierce the air. Screams of panic, exclamations of disbelief, exhortations to call the police.

Yeah, you think as you eye the thick, black smoke that belches into the air, something tells me they didn’t miss that.

You stand with a groan, brush yourself off, then start booking it to the nearest hospital.

Shit like this always demands all hands on deck.

***

As predicted, the injury count is high.

You run the halls of Yue General, triaging the more serious patients until things slow enough that you can start checking the ones not actively dying. It’s a non-stop frenzy of gauze, saline, and bandage wraps until you can see the blue glow of your healing whenever you close your eyes.

By the end of it, your feet are practically dead and it’s nearly four in the morning.

You drag yourself onto one of the trams and let the teeth-shaking rattle keep you awake until you’re on your block. You count your steps until you make it to the front door, then let out a sigh of relief when you step into the building lobby.

“Elevator Out of Service. Please Use Stairs.”

You stare at the placard in front of the elevator bay in disbelief, then groan. Fuck my life.

***

The climb up to your floor is agony.

You’re huffing and puffing by the time you make it to your apartment door. You lean against it as you slot the key into the lock, then push inside.

Some distant, responsible part of you manages to turn the deadbolt before your brain shuts off entirely. You kick off your shoes, drop your purse on the ground, then shuffle over to the couch and flop down face first on it.

When you lift your head again, sunlight’s streaming through your living room window.

“Fuck.” You wince, then peel yourself gingerly off the couch. You cringe as your body protests, and rub your hand over the back of your aching neck. You glance at the clock, but the gurgle your stomach makes is more than enough to tell you that it’s past lunch time.

You sit up, then frown when you get a whiff of yourself. Antiseptic and B.O. Not a good combination on anyone.

You need a shower. And food. And a good round of stretching.

Nice, long, hot shower. You smile as you shuffle towards the bathroom. And then take out. Narook’s. With extra squid ink noodles. Your stomach rumbles again. And maybe Golden King’s… mmm, extra summer rolls… with sweet and sour dipping sauce. Yum.

***

You feel more human after showering. You change into sweats and a loose shirt, put in delivery orders at Narook’s and Golden King’s, then flip on your radio before dropping down onto your sofa.

It’s too early in the day for mystery shows, but the disc jockey’s still playing music requests. Smooth jazz --something with a rolling beat and brass--pipes out of the speakers, swirling around your apartment until the mental grime of the previous day starts to fade.

You sink back into your couch and hum along. You sigh and stretch, relish in the ache in your legs as tension leeches from your sore muscles.

The radio hums, then crackles. “We interrupt this broadcast for an announcement from the Republic City Police Department.”

You roll your eyes as an announcer rattles off a report about the explosion yesterday --site is secure, no risk of further fire or explosion, the city police are hard work, stay clear of the site, blah blah blah--then relax when your music starts playing again. Thanks for telling us what we already know. You close your eyes and let yourself drift. Why do they always shove that into every single press release? ‘We’re working hard to serve Republic City and ensure the safety of her citizens--’

Lin.

You gasp and bolt upright; she would’ve attended the scene. Hell, for all you know, she was one of the responding officers.

It’s probable, given her propensity for “hands on police work,” for not staying above the grime and grunge her officers have to work on.

Hell, it’s even likely. Given what you know about Lin, you’d be solid money that she’d rather work the explosion site than deal with the panicking politicians.

Is she okay? You chew on your lower lip as the thought circles your mind like water in the bathtub drain, swirling down and down into blackness.

You blink, and then your phone’s in your hand, and there’s hold music in your ear as the operator makes the connection. You gulp and palm your phone once the music stops and the ringing starts. Please don’t let this be a mistake, please don’t let this be a mistake, please don’t let this be a fucking mistake…

“Chief Beifong’s office. This is her assistant, Ryu, speaking. The Chief is not available at this time, but I can take your message and deliver it to her later.”

You blink at the sound of her assistant’s voice. “Uh… hi…” You swallow, then rattle off your name and callback number before Ryu can hang up on you. “I’m a, uh, friend of Lin’s. I was just calling because --y’know--the explosion--”

“I’m sorry, but the Chief cannot comment on an ongoing investigation--”

“I’m not calling about that,” you interject, pinching the bridge of your nose. “I’m her friend; I just want to be sure she’s okay.”

There’s a pause on the other end of the line, and when Ryu speaks again, she almost sounds… pleased? “Chief Beifong’s not in right now --but I’ll have her call you back as soon as she’s available.”

“Is she hurt?” you blurt before she hangs up on you.

Another pause. “As far as I know, no.”

“Okay.” You nod, gulp, then nod again. “Thank you.”

“Of course. Have a nice day.”

You eke out something similar, then put your phone back on the hook when the line goes dead. Your heart thuds uncomfortably hard in your chest, and you have to blink a few times before your brain starts working again.

You head back to your couch and jazz --but long gone is your relaxed, exhaustion induced stupor. Anxiety claws at your chest, threatening to snap your ribs and leave you bleeding. You inhale deeply through your nose, then force yourself to let it out slowly so your body calms down. She’ll be fine. She’s got, what, thirty years on the force? This is old hat for her. She’ll keep herself safe.

Still, if you spend the next couple hours watching your phone, that’s no one’s business but yours.

***

Your phone rings around seven in the evening --right as you’re shovelling leftovers from lunch into your mouth.

Go figure.

You half-scramble, half-try-to-not-choke over to the phone; you pick up the phone, try to swallow, then tuck the food in your cheek like a hamster when it’s apparent you’ve got too much in your mouth to swallow. Mom always said I ate like a pack of polar bear dogs. “Heffo?”

There’s a dry huff of laughter on the other end of the line. “I take it I caught you at a good time.”

“Lin!” You cover your mouth with one hand (even though she can’t see you) and alternate between chewing and swallowing. “I --I was ea’in ‘inner.”

“Sounds like you decided to do it all at once.” She chuckles when you grumble, then moves on. “My secretary said you called?”

“Yeah, around lunch time,” you say as you finally get your mouth clear.

“Where I’m presuming you had your mouth full of that meal, too.”

“Fuck you.” You grin when she laughs, then lean against the wall and cradle the receiver against your shoulder. “I just… wanted to check on you. With the explosion and all.”

“You heard about that.”

“The whole city heard it, Lin.” You sigh. “I worked the triage team at Yue General until four in the morning.”

“Shit.” Lin groans, and you can hear the creak of her leather office chair as she sits. “I thought you only did massage therapy?”

“They call everyone who passed a healing course when stuff like this happens,” you explain. “Besides, I had to pass an intensive injury treatment course to get my rehabilitation certification. I’m licensed to assist surgery teams, if need arises.”

Lin hums. “That’s a nice feather in your cap.”

“It pays the bills.” You manage a smile when she lets out a huff of laughter, but the anxiety that’s been circling your brain descends to your stomach. You swallow, then ask, “Are you okay?”

“Why wouldn’t I be?” When you don’t respond right away, her voice softens. “I’m fine. A little banged up, but nothing that won’t heal. I wasn’t there when the explosion went off.”

“Okay,” you murmur. You let out a shaky breath, then mentally kick yourself to stop acting like a worried girlfriend, dammit. “Well, if something doesn’t heal, you know where to find me.”

Lin grunts, then chuckles when you laugh. “Get some rest, kid.”

“Already am. You should do the same.” You roll your eyes when she starts grumbling again --about overtime and press conferences and departmental cooperation with the city’s fire brigade--then say, “Call me when you want to keep me up all night again,” and hang up before she can react.

It’s easy to picture her reaction. Open-mouthed, wide-eyed, with that hint of a grin that she hides by smirking.

You bite your lower lip; something warm and smooth settles in your lower gut. You laugh quietly to yourself, then turn and head back for the sofa. Alright, leftovers. It’s just you and me.

***

You’re in the midst of changing the sheets on your massage table when there’s a knock on the door. “Come in.”

The latch clicks, the door swings open, and the receptionist for the Northern Moon Physical Therapy Facility pokes her head into your “office” (which is really just the room you work out of, but it’s yours, and that’s what counts). “A call came in for you.”

You straighten, frowning. “Me?”

She nods. “A request for on-site treatment.” She looks down at the slip of paper in her hand and recites the information from the call. “Republic City Police Department, at one this afternoon. Long session booking. A woman named Ryu called it in.”

Your heart sinks into your shoes. Fucking dammit. “And my other appointments…”

“We’re redistributing them to the other therapists. It was an urgent request.”

Shit.

You sigh, then nod and grab your carry bag off a nearby office chair. “Let me pack up, and I’ll catch one of the trams.”

“They’re sending a car for you.” The receptionist smiles politely, then steps back and starts making her way back down the hall. “It’ll be here in fifteen minutes!”

You run your tongue over your teeth and do what you can to tamp down the aggravation simmering in your stomach. Well, on the bright side, I don’t have to carry the table the entire way.

***

Ryu meets you in the parking garage attached to the police department. She’s sleek, dressed in an impeccably pressed navy blue suit, and there’s not a hair out of place on her head.

In your loose slacks, pale periwinkle blouse, and slapdash braid, you can’t help but feel a bit… frumpy.

She shakes your hand --she’s got a strong, professional handshake--then escorts you through the garage. “Thank you for coming.” She opens a heavy metal door stamped with the police department’s emblem for you. “I’ll take you up to Chief Beifong’s office.”

Your jaw flexes as you follow her down a hall with an immaculately polished slate tile floor. “How’s she been? What kind of pain has she been in?”

Ryu looks at you over her shoulder for a long moment. Her eyes narrow contemplatively, but she turns back around before you can make anything of her expression. “I’ve been asked to let Chief Beifong explain things to you directly.”

Yeah, that tracks. You shift the strap of your carry bag onto your shoulder, then watch the floor counter as the elevator slowly rattles upwards.

#sass writes #lin beifong x reader #this one got cut into multiple pieces due to length #also we have plot now!#five fics into the series dslfjdlfkjdslfkjdslfj #legend of korra #the hands that heal

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prdsd4na · 2 years

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i've lured tumblr and the tags since friday hoping to find posts that would express what i thought about episode 7 because when i finished watching it i felt weird and not in a good way and i felt alone but i didn't find anything since then and it's sunday already so i guess it's time for me to rant because i'm basically the only one who have these thoughts.

if i have to be completely honest i'm not saying i didn't like episode 7 the scenes where super cute and i loved them taken separately but i don't think they fit together and with the rest of the series so far. i found the episode really flawed compared to the previous ones in term of storytelling and considering the fact that so far the scenes and the episodes were always so detailed fitting perfectly with the others and letting the story develop in a way so natural yet so difficult to find these days in tv shows. i found the time skip really weird it wasn't explained enough and it didn't appeared functional to the plot to me it just seemed very random + i think the scenes were cut in a weird way and didn't really seem linked. i don't want to linger on it that much because knowing how the series is developing maybe i'll have my answers in the next episodes.

BASICALLY i think that episode 7 make sense only if you consider that at the end of episode 6 when they make the bet saying 'who falls in love first loses' is really a 'who gives in first and SAYS HIS FEELINGS OUT LOUD FIRST loses' kind of bet underlining the fact that by the end of their beach trip they know their feelings they confirmed them and they know what the other feels but they don't have the guts to confess because of their situation their parents their friends their personality and their background and so they make the bet but in reality they mutually agreed to date while doing the bet and they know they're dating and that's why there's the timeskip and we actually don't see the bet taking place and them flirting but we only get the flashback scenes from pran's memory

and i think this can be easily confirmed:

- by the fact that knowing pat and his character development i really don't think he would have acted the way he did if he wasn't sure pran had feelings for him (i mean just the kiss have easily given that away alone)

- by the fact that also pran got some sort of confirmation from pat about his feelings (an example the kiss) and that's why later in episode 6 he acts like he went back to square one afraid and uncomfortable with pat because of his feelings for him

- by the fact that in episode 7 it's implied that they sleep over each other (pat wanting the doll he can't sleep without back from pran because he left it at pran's dorm)

- by the fact that pa finds them in pat's dorm but she doesn't seem weirded out by that (this could appear random because it implies that pa knows about them but the thing that got me is that pran even says that he made dinner for them and either pat or pa react to that statement because maybe it's a thing that could easily have happened before and also i think that pa really knows more that what we see)

- by the fact that when the episode begins it really seems like they're already dating it doesn't seem like two people flirting with each other or people who have been flirting for three months they're basically a couple (an example is the scene where they're trying to make the other jealous while eating with wai and ink we really see the jealousy of two people in love and dating who caught the other doing something they shouldn't be doing almost)

- by the fact that in the rooftop scene when pran is ready to confess to pat they both seem too comfortable with PRAN WHO IS FINALLY CONFESSING AND LOSING THE BET (after the supposed three long months of flirting that got them nowhere as pran says) and pat doesn't seem that exited as he should be in a moment like that THE CONFESSION should have been more powerful for dramatic value like it was the kiss scene on the rooftop but could confirm the actual confession scene we got in the episode that is soft and almost implicit where we see pat losing the bet during the audition that also seems random and out of place with the consequences of events

i love this series so much and i'm obsessed to the point where i can't I JUST CAN'T say that there are issues because it was perfect until episode 6 and i tried to make sense of the whole episode in the series and in the development SO HERE'S WHAT I THINK because if there's one thing this series has tought me is that everything has an explenation even when it isn't explained i just have to find it myself because it's there

#bad buddy #bad buddy series #patpran #pat x pran #bad buddy meta #gmmtv #gmmtv series #gmmtv 2021 #thai bl #thai drama #thai bl series #thai series #ohm nanon #ohmnanon #ohm pawat #nanon korapat #asian drama #asian bl #meta

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theoriginalladya · 2 years

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What is your process when you do your research and world building for a new story? What advice would you give to someone?

Oh goodness, what a fabulous question! But… do I even have something I could call a ‘process’? Hmm, let me think.

[to be completely transparent here, this is my second try at this question. I was going to use Caleb as an example, since you were so kind to start me down his path, but Real Life interrupted yesterday, and then I had a new idea pop into my head this morning – what’re the odds? LOL – and thought it might be worth using as an example]

So, let’s say you’re sitting in the car after getting home from running to our favorite coffee/tea shop, and you check tumblr and email before getting out of the car and in the process you’re ambushed not once, but TWICE by IDEAS, and suddenly those ideas MERGE into the PERFECT STORY IDEA.

(welcome to my world – no one’s safe! :D )

Idea #1: you’ve had it for over ten years, it’s part of #54/120 on your Master Shepard Spreadsheet so it’s been there a while. Occasionally, it teases and tempts your brain for time, but nothing really ‘hits’ until you see someone reblog a post you’d shared a while back and rereading that gives you an “OH!” moment of sorts.

Idea #2: comes crashing out of the wild like a velociraptor in Jurassic Park, slamming into you, your idea, and grabbing hold screaming “MINE! MINE! MINE!” (ie: a friend has been writing about a smiliar sort of concept and you’ve been interested, yet you haven’t found the right way to do participate… until NOW).

ULTIMATE IDEA is born. So, now what?

Well, after sitting in the car for about ten minutes as the pieces and parts swim around in your head and find where they fit together, finally coalescing into a relatively coherent premise… it’s time to start. You think to yourself, “Where is the beginning?” then realize… you already have, so it’s time to take the next step and for that I always have a few things on hand:

1) Notebook – I try to have a notebook (big or small, whatever works) for each of my projects just so I can find stuff easier. A place where I can scribble down anything that hits me – literally! – while I think about the idea. Dialogue snippets, scene ideas, characters I want to be there, plot points, etc. Always step #1

2) Sticky Notes – great for jotting down short things quickly and attaching them inside said notebook (trust me, INSIDEor you’ll end up losing it still. I speak from experience *sobs*). Sometimes my notebooks have more sticky notes in them than writing on the pages, but that’s okay. Sticky notes are easier to manipulate and move around… especially when outlining a plot where you change the order a half dozen times and still aren’t satisfied…

3) PENS PENS PENS! – okay, maybe this is more the former teacher in me, but I HAVE to have a bunch of pens on hand to write with. In case one runs out of ink. In case the cats steal borrow them. Or maybe just to feed my weird pen obsession… hmm.

Now then, back to the question. So, you’ve got this idea (and it’s a GREAT idea you’re really excited about!!!) and you next need to figure out how/what/when/where/etc…

I usually have a kernel of a plot idea by this point: oh, hey, let’s make it angsty (sorry, Kaidan!). Shepard died in the War and Kaidan is still trying to move on. He’s still with the Alliance, teaching biotics (hmmm… soldiers or teens? 5-10 years after the war?) with Jack (hi, Jack!) and Kahlee (not enough Kahlee fic out there!) until Admiral Hackett pulls him to go chase down a Shepard sighting. Why? Aren’t there others who can do that? Why this particular Shepard sighting and not previous ones? WHY KAIDAN? After what he’s been through? Because if anyone’s going to know if it’s Shepard or a fake (FAKE? OH NO!) it’s Kaidan, right? And maybe… just to twist the heartstrings, let’s say the report came out of… OMEGA… which is still rebuilding after Cerberus and the War, but hey, it’s Omega so it’s pretty much as it was, so maybe a teeny bit less grudgy towards the Alliance types (but not much) because of Shepard helping save it from Cerberus… and the reapers. (maybe? Hmm, might need to think about that more)

OK, great! Potential plot! What comes next?

At this point, I tend to go to the Mass Effect Wiki to jump around, immersing myself in lore, ideas, characters, etc. Sometimes looking for something specific, other times (like now) with only a vague idea, but mostly just waiting for the sparks to fly (translation: ideas to hit!). A lot of times I will start developing playlists for the characters (Aubrey Shepard playlist here) or the story ideas, just to have something to listen to that might stir up more ideas. Occasionally, I will pull out one of the writing prompt lists I’ve saved to see if any of them ‘call’ to the character/story/world and noodle around with that to see what it generates. (Best use of this so far has been with the writing prompt you gave me ages ago for Caleb Shepard. Look what THAT spawned! 😊)

Now, to specifically address worldbuilding: Fanfics are a lot easier to develop in this regard because I have a setting in which to put the story. In this instance – Mass Effect. With some stories (like my AUs) there is a twist to that which requires a little more effort. For example: ME/WWII ‘verse, I’m adapting Mass Effect to fit into 1940s Europe during the war. In my Celtic AU, I’m adapting it to fit in a very specific way for my Irish Shepard. In my Werwolf AU, I’m adapting the Werewolf: the Apocalypse RPG world to the Mass Effect world.

Some ideas are easier to adjust than others, but the biggest suggestion I have for anyone else trying this is to think outside the box. Let your imagination run wild. Once I figured that out, it sort of opened up a whole new way to look at things creatively (and sort of let loose all these Shepards to the spreadsheet… but that’s another story!). Take inspiration wherever you find it. Play with it. Mold it. Use it if it works for you; toss it if it doesn’t. There’s no one right way to do this.

I stress that again – THERE IS NO RIGHT/WRONG WAY TO DO THIS.

I’m the best example of that. I trained as an historian, not a writer. It’s taken me a good 25+ years to get to the point I’m at now (after the muses finally came back). My strength is in researching things, finding information I can use to build up ideas, developing plots. This is also my weakness because a) I tend to find a crumb and keep following the trail, even if it runs out, b) I get distracted by SQUIRRELS! and c) I have way too many great ideas on my list of things to write, most of which will likely never get written. But, hey… it’s entertaining to think about them, anyway. 😊

I hope this makes sense! I would say if I had to describe my writing process as a DnD alignment, it would be somewhere between Chaotic Good – Chaotic Neutral – Chaotic Evil, just depends on which moment you catch me in! 😉

Thanks so much for the question!

Just as a side note: Aubrey Shepard is now officially #120 on the Master Shepard Spreadsheet…

#swaps55 #on writing #writing as a process #research #ladya writes #Welcome to the chaos inside my head!#aubrey

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shinjaeha · 2 years

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bad buddy ep 8 (thoughts)

so this ep really took us for a ride. i’m still reeling over the end of the ep even though i had a feeling that something like that was going to go down (though maybe not as publicly as what actually happened...). i have so many thoughts and questions...but most of them prob won’t end up being answered until at least next ep.

i think we’ll really have to strap ourselves in for a bumpy ride from hereon in, but FIRST let’s talk about all the things i loved about this ep as usual :)

as fun as last ep was, nothing beats seeing them as ACTUAL boyfriends and the domesticity that comes with that :’) they’re so CUTE i can’t stand them omg. pat making pran breakfast in bed!!!!!!!! i love the little details like the pics/post its on pran’s wall, or their uniforms hanging on the hooks in his room together. the ketchup kiss was so adorable (esp knowing that that was improv on nanon’s part and ohm’s reaction was very real 😂). it’s just so sweet to me that pran can be as playful as he wants with pat now (at least when they’re alone). he’s spent his whole life repressing all these feelings, but now he has the chance to actually indulge and fully be himself around the boy that he’s been in love with for years. you can already see how different he is from previous eps when he was more closed off. he doesn’t have to be like that around pat anymore bc they’ve laid all their cards on the table. they’re BOYFRIENDS now and i’ll never get sick of saying that!!

something i really like about this show is, even though there’s obviously an overarching narrative throughout, it feels episodic bc many of the conflicts they deal with are introduced and resolved in a single episode (and sometimes another conflict is introduced at the end of the ep). like last episode, it was the challenge and who would cave first (resolved at the end when they both become boyfriends). this ep, it’s the struggle of having to keep their secret relationship under wraps, whilst also dealing with their differing personalities and stances within their relationship. this is a fairly common and realistic thing for people in same sex relationships to have to deal with, but it’s obviously more complicated for pat and pran given the situation with their friends and family. as we’ve already seen, pran’s friends and family seem very accepting of whatever he chooses to identify as, so i feel like it’s fair to assume that pran’s as scared as he is to reveal their relationship not bc he likes a guy, but bc that guy is PAT. he’s also experienced firsthand how unaccepting his parents have been about him just being in the same band as pat before (let alone boyfriends) so he has a very valid reason to be as scared as he is.

the hand holding scene is SO sweet bc although pran pulled away initially (and pat was super understanding about it), he couldn’t even bear pat being sad for a moment longer and gave in almost immediately. it’s the little concessions they make for one another that i’m absolutely in love with. just these little things they do to make one another smile bc they know it means a lot to the other.

paa with her arms around the both of them as they held hands behind her back made me weep THEY’RE SO ADORABLE...i’ve watched this scene way too many times to count at this point.

literally this whole rehearsal scene i just felt bad for toto 😂 no idea how he was able to make them get anything done in the end. but also, watching this back, how DIDN’T he know there was something going on with them bc they weren’t even a little bit subtle. just constantly flirting on that stage.

inkpaa!!!!!!!!! i love that paa’s the one always knocking some kind of sense into her brother, but the second she’s with ink she becomes this cute, bumbling mess. and you can tell that ink finds it so endearing. wai though...that’s a no from me :/ it’s so funny to me how ink keeps shooing away all these boys buzzing around paa like their flies...she was NOT here for wai’s interrogation whatsoever.

omg so i full on burst out laughing the moment i heard the sizzy song and saw pat doing the moves in his car (love score has been and always will be a certified BOP). even better when pat starting rapping nanon’s part with the moves bc YOU KNOW that ohm had a great time with that and that pran’s reaction was really just 100% nanon being embarrassed haha.

i was having fun laughing along and then they hit us with whoever it was that saw them in the car...and i will circle back to this again at the end of this post bc i have MANY thoughts about this...

anyway, this is a great ep for us inkpaa stans :) paa continues to be the clumsiest person on earth, but she’s so SOFT around ink. if i were ink, i would be totally enamoured too. interesting how she paid attention to what pat supposedly said about how much paa likes shrimp (and peeling them for her!!!!!)...and their cute little ~moment!! i love them ;;;

i like how the scene right after this is pat and pran’s rooftop dinner date. it’s a great contrast. the rooftop is obviously a special place for them, but i love that this is the first time that we’ve seen them on it when the sun’s still up (now that they’re both awakened to their feelings for each other). it’s lovely, but there’s still that underlying sadness there that they can’t date each other in public (or just hang out in general) the way that pat sees ink and paa doing on their hotpot date. this is clearly something that’s quite difficult for pat esp to deal with since he’s the type of person that WANTS to show off who he’s dating/that he’s taken. i just really love how pran can see how much it affects pat and quickly tries to cheer him up. they’re stuck being a rock and a hard place, but they’re both so understanding of one another as they’re able to see things from the other’s perspective.

pat’s ig posts remind me of how jealous he was when he saw that ig story of pran and wai drunk at the bar together. and even that ig story he just saw of paa with ink. THAT’S what he wants...to be able to post freely about his boyfriend, but he can’t do that. so he settles for these cryptic shots relating to pran bc he needs an outlet of sorts. he’s never been able to suppress his feelings in the same way that pran can bc that’s just not how he deals with things. on the other hand, pran’s just a lot more private in general. and he’s understandably worried that someone might be able to link all these posts to him, so he can’t help but panic on reflex when pat teases him with the kiss (even though logically i’m sure he knows pat would never post something that obvious without his express consent). either way, it broke my heart a little that they’ve been forced into this situation where they have to hide their love like this.

pran trying to make it up to pat with all those little post it notes (and the toilet paper)...MY POOR HEART CAN’T TAKE THIS. pran using his love of smiley faces to make pat smile too!! they really, really just can’t stand to see the other sad at all. honestly, this is the type of cute, domestic relationship stuff that we tend to miss when couples only get together at the end of a drama. i LOVE that we’ve gotten to see their dynamic morph from their playful ‘not friends’ bickering at the start, to them still playfully bickering, but being in an established relationship now. how could you stay sulky after that :’) impossible.

every single one of their friends are so dense it would almost be sad if it didn’t makes it that much easier for them to hide their relationship, i guess 😭

the way we go from pat being sulky to pran being sulky though. but you can already see how the conflict will start ramping up more and more from here as pran gets more paranoid about pat’s posts (esp as they get more daring). that being said, it’s so endearing to see the different methods the both of them use to cheer the other up. they hate seeing each other sad, and they can’t stay mad at each other for very long either.

the line reading back hug scene though!!!!! no matter how many times i’ve seen it, i can never stop smiling during it. it’s just so damn adorable. poor pran squirming in pat’s arms as he reads his lines ahhh...again, how could you stay sulky after that...there’s just no way. also, the behind the scenes for this particular scene was so CUTE...nanon was really going through it omg 😂

it’s so weird to me how obsessed wai is with paa when he literally only talked to her like that ONE time they bumped into each other (and almost fought her before he saw her)?? and then wanting to fight pat when he thought paa was his girlfriend?? this boy doesn’t need a love interest, he needs anger management classes...

not how wai called pran dramatic in ep 6 when HE’S being as dramatic as he is. pran using wai/paa for his monologue on why his relationship with pat is so exhausting bc of all the hiding :((( pran tends to do this a lot. confide in his friends SOME of his feelings (without them really realising), but never telling them the whole truth. pat is the only person he ever tells everything to, but pat is also the one who’s the most patient and perceptive of pran’s feelings when he’s not saying what he means.

i have more to say about wai’s involvement in all this, but i’ll leave that until the end...

pat’s argument with his dad absolutely broke my heart. pat is such an interesting character to me bc on the surface he seems easygoing and carefree. he’s honest and wears his heart on his sleeve. but there’s also a lot more bubbling under the surface with him. and we’ve gotten to see more and more of this with each new ep.

originally, i thought that pat had more freedom than pran (even pran mentioned that pat’s family was more ‘flexible’ than his own), but i think i might have been wrong on that front. pat SEEMS like he has more freedom than pran, but it’s bc he’s always followed the path that his dad has set for him. his dad is constantly talking about his own reputation and how he needs pat to uphold it, and so far, that’s what pat’s been doing. up until this point he’s been the ‘perfect son’. he’s always been involved in the things that his dad WANTS him to be involved in and has been rewarded for it (eg. the drum set, the car). he’s living out his dad’s dreams. but by participating in the architecture play, he’s deviating off this set path that’s been laid out for him by his dad. i hate parents like this. they want to live vicariously through their children instead of acknowledging that their children are their own individual people with their own interests and wants in life.

it’s interesting when he says that he doesn’t intervene in pat’s life much when truthfully he does seem to be keeping pretty close tabs on what his son has been doing. in ep 2, he goes to pat’s dorm and pokes around his room, then tells pat that one of pat’s professors was his senior in school. he’s there during the bus stop opening, and again when pat was talking to pran’s mum. and now he knows about pat skipping rugby practice. all of this could just be him being a supportive parent, sure, but looking at if from this context...it does feel a lot more controlling than it appears on the surface. esp given how his father’s acting towards him now just bc pat is in a university PLAY. maybe he skipped some rugby practices, but he’s STILL on the team. he’s still doing what his father wants of him...only he’s doing something else HE wants on top of that.

i think what really gets to me is just how torn up pat is about disappointing his father like this. he very clearly looks up to and respects his father a lot, and he SO wants his father to be proud of him :( like he couldn’t even outright say that he didn’t want to play rugby last ep...he just kept saying he was too lazy, even when paa pressed him on why he was going for tryouts when he didn’t even want to play anymore. he’s followed his dad’s footsteps for so long, that now that he’s taken his own steps, his dad has intervened in a way that he’s never outright done before...and it’s really shaken pat. i get the feeling that pat might never have realised just how much he needed his father’s approval until this moment (since his priorities have always aligned with what was expected of him by his dad). this is the first time that this hasn’t been the case, which explains why it’s so crushing for him. he feels like he’s letting his dad down for the first time in his life. i just want to hug him :(((

i feel like this scene also lays the groundwork for how pat’s dad is going to react once he finds out about pat and pran’s relationship (esp if he’s already blowing up at pat for being in a PLAY). it’s not boding well for them...but i think we all knew that :/

OF COURSE the first person he thinks of calling is pran...he’s the only person in the world that can give him the comfort he needs. the only person that will understand. i read another post somewhere that basically said that the love that pat and pran’s friends and family have for each of them come with conditions/expectations, but the love they have for each other is unconditional bc they love each other for who they actually ARE and not what they expect from each other, and i just thought that was so beautiful and true ;;; they’re each other’s safe zones.

something i adore about this scene is how pat always come across as super confident and sure of himself, but when he calls pran up and hears that he’s out drinking, he seems to get kind of insecure in that moment. like he doesn’t want to burden pran with his problems/feelings (esp when he’s out having a good time). this is a pretty relatable feeling to have when you’re in a new relationship too. you just don’t want to come across as too much so you end up keeping things to yourself. i just like seeing this more vulnerable side of pat. that he’s not always confident all of the time.

but i also love that pran just knew something was up from the tone of pat’s voice and rushed back home to comfort him. this was actually my fave thing about this whole ep. in previous eps, it was mostly pat that was the one to come over and comfort/cheer pran up...we see so much of pran doing this for pat this ep, and it makes their relationship feel much more balanced and reciprocal.

pran presses a little bit bc he knows that pat’s upset about something, and pat folds immediately which is just so in line with his personality. he can try, but he’s just not the type to hold his emotions in like that. he’s way too communicative, and never wants things to be lost in translation. it’s so consistent with his character and what he previously said in ep 6 (”if you don’t say it, how will i figure it out? how can i possibly understand you?”).

THE BALCONY SCENE!!!!!!!!!! i. can’t. stop. smiling. pran being all cute and trying to make pat happy just shows how comfortable and stable he feels in their relationship now (he would never have done this before they became official). he just wants to make pat feel how pat makes HIM feel...wants to make him smile too. it’s always been really evident how much pat loves pran bc he’s not subtle about it at all. he conveys so much of his love in grand gestures. pran might be more quiet about it, but things like this really prove how much pran loves pat too. it’s just so cute seeing pran be silly and playful in order to make pat laugh. they’re both so madly in love with each other. i’m glad that pat gets to sniff pran’s shirt as much as he wants now too :’)

this is just my head canon, but i feel like pat specifically got pran the earphone bag with their initials on it bc he knows how much pran likes things with the first letter of his name on them (his bag, the giant ‘p’ light in his room)...and idk i just think that’s adorable.

oh god, the montage with kacha’s ost!!!!!!!!!!!! they’re both so gone for one another (and i’m gone for them). at least they gave us a giant slice of happiness before everything came crashing down...

pran’s anxiety about people finding out about their relationship when he heard his classmates talking about it...we knew it was coming bc it’s been building up but still :((( their fight hurt to watch.

i think this drama does a really good job of making us feel for BOTH pat and pran. it’s easy to empathise with either side as both their feelings are absolutely valid, and that’s why it hurts so much. their conflicting feelings in this ep remind me a lot of the ep 5 kiss. since pat’s living in the present, he wants to be loud and proud about the boy he’s in love with, but pran’s paranoid and worried about their future...so he lashes out and panics as soon as he realises that people could potentially be putting the pieces together through pat’s ig that they’re together.

okay but ohm’s acting in the xylophone scene!!!!!!!!! outsold!!!!!!!! gave me goosebumps and everything 😭 i really love that they didn’t use a score here...it was pure xylophone. they just let pat play out the anger he was feeling. art reflecting life. it made this scene so much more effective imo.

pran watching in the audience and thinking back to the history of their entire romance up until this point while pat played...then pat looking up at him with those eyes, so angry, and pran thinking back to what a huge thing it was that pat did for him (taking on the role of riam), making him reflect on how he shouldn’t have blown up at pat like that before walking away. ouch.

and the clarity in pat’s eyes. how he goes from furious to realisation to regret as he remembers the shirt and what it means to him (how much pran means to him). the way the fury in his eyes just dissipates like that as his xylophone playing simmers down to a stop. i just really, really love this scene so much. it says so much without any words at all.

THEIR APOLOGIES TO ONE ANOTHER. they REALLY can’t stay mad at each other for too long ;;; i love that they both knew exactly what they were apologising for, admitted their faults, and just realised that their anger wasn’t worth it in the end. they’re competitive, but they’ve never been too stubborn to admit when they’ve been in the wrong. this is what a loving relationship is. can’t believe pat and pran invented romance AND healthy relationships :’)))

the communication between the two is just soooooo incredibly refreshing and satisfying to see. but the way they compromise with one another is just as important. pat wants to tell the world that he’s taken, but as always, he takes into account pran’s feelings above his own (only posts cryptically, tells pran that he’ll stop posting if it’s what he wants). pran is terrified about anyone finding out about them, but he can also see how much it hurts pat having to keep their relationship a secret...he can see how stifling it is for him, so even though he’s scared...he still takes these baby steps forward (holding pat’s hand, letting him post vague posts alluding to them on ig, the hand holding pic) bc he knows how much that means to pat. they put each other first in so many ways. constantly make an effort to adjust to the needs and wants of the other. genuinely care about and want one another to be happy. if that’s not true love, i don’t know what is.

i also like that while it was pran that needed assurance in previous eps, it’s pat that needed more of it in this ep. i feel like that’s partially the reason he kept posting about them on social media. although pran shows his love in actions (acts of service), he’s not very vocal when it comes to how he feels. i really think pat needed to hear it from pran’s mouth himself, so when he says “just because i’m not telling people doesn’t mean i don’t like you” and admits to being pat’s boyfriend (which he’s never really said properly before), it provides pat with the assurance and security he needs...bc it’s one thing knowing someone loves you/thinks about you in a certain way, but it’s another thing hearing the person that you love say the words out loud like that.

OKAY. so now let’s talk about the big reveal. it was always coming but...it really had to be in the most dramatic and revealing way ever huh.

so there’s a lot of speculation that it was wai that revealed them (possibly turned up the mic on stage/dropped the curtain)...and he does seem like the most likely candidate seeing the way he was overseeing them in the sound booth...like they were just puppets on his stage. he, at the very least, most DEFINITELY heard everything from the look on his face. i know one of the screenwriters tweeted about it too before deleting their tweet. it would also fit with the more villainous trajectory of his character development seeing as how he’s been racking up the red flags for awhile now (and esp since last ep). i’m sure he’s also angry at pran for telling him to give up on paa when pran’s been secretly dating pat this whole time.

what i’m having trouble fitting with the narrative though is, if he really was the one that saw them in the car, does that mean he was acting the entire time he went drinking with pran?? he knew the whole time but was just waiting to reveal it?? i know that wai’s pretty manipulative, but that’s plain diabolical. that’s so much more deliberate (and evil) than if he’d just found out at the theatre and revealed them impulsively...also imo it would have made more sense for him to have confronted pran immediately after seeing him in the car bc that seems more in line with his personality. since he’s the type to act first, think later.

unless he just saw pran get in the car and didn’t know who it was with?? so he went drinking with him to try to figure things out, maybe saw that the phone call pran received wasn’t from his mum, but still wasn’t able to quite pinpoint who pran was being so secretive about until seeing/hearing the two of them in the theatre (and then exposing them in an impulsive fit of anger).

or maybe someone else entirely saw them in the car?? ngl at first i thought korn...like why was he in the theatre in the first place? but then he didn’t seem very sus when they were teasing pat about dating an architecture ‘girl’ so...who knows. i guess we’ll only get answers with ep 9.

either way, what happened to them made my heart stop :( i’m so upset for the both of them that it had to happen like this. and i know their friends are gonna make this REAL hard for them next ep, but i hope they can power through everything together as they’ve been doing so far.

bless ink :’) and i know that the preview has paa looking kind of shady, but i do think she’ll come around. she’s grown up in the same heteronormative environment that pat has...she’s likely never even thought about her brother liking another boy (let alone PRAN) in that way so it might take her some time to adjust. esp given their family histories. and who knows, it might also make her question her own feelings and admiration for ink in more detail...js.

anyway, i do think we’ll get a resolution for the friend drama by the end of ep 9 (since that’ll be their main conflict next ep). they’ll prob have to wrap it up by the end so they can get to the family drama, which is likely going to be a thousand times worse... :/// i’m so worried for them but so invested...here’s hoping we’re all able to get through this storm okay. i just want them to be happy together, that’s it!!!!!

#bad buddy #what if there's a plot twist and it was the other sound guy or something damn i can never tell with this show #every time i theorise something it's ended up wrong so :))) we'll only find out once the eps out #this ep was sooooooooo cute though i think it was my second fave ep after ep 5 (i don't think anything can beat how i felt watching ep 5)#next ep def looks angsty but at least we know there'll still be SOME cute moments #and i'm finally gonna get my fave scene from the first end credits so !!!!!!!!!!!!!!#text

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embrassemoi · 3 years

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Surrounded by the Moon and Stars ✷ 27

Pairings: Sirius B, Remus L, [F]Reader CW: Spoilers for HP OOTP, blood/injury, bullying, fighting, sexism A/N: There's a scene in here that references Chap 28: Snape's Worst Memory. If you want, go back and read the flashback scene. Everything that happens in the flashback stays the same aside from the addition of the reader.

【 Masterlist: Previous Chapter | Next Chapter 】

Chapter 27: OWLs

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The last month was spent with lessons being devoted to review as the OWLs drew near. McGonagall had given them their examination schedules and went over the procedure for the following weeks during their Transfiguration lessons. She’d gone over the rules; mentioned the ban of Auto-Answer Quills, Remembralls, Self-Correcting Ink and others of the same likes.

Nobody spoke a word to each other. Everyone was rushing to do any sort of last-minute studying. Emmeline kept quizzing James with cue cards but was interrupted as Marlene became too agitated, threatening to throw a shoe, politely, at the couple.

Their first exam, Theory of Charms, was scheduled bright and early for Monday morning and they were all forced to study into the late hours of the night. There was a manic gleam in Lily’s eyes as she re-read sections of her textbook, Remus flicked through The Standard Book of Spells, Grade 5; Sirius and Mary were surprisingly calm as they practiced locomotion charms, Peter was so nervous that he kept dropping his wand. Dorcas had to be given Draught of Peace while Y/N was left practicing incantations under her breath, charming nearly every object in sight for practice. After all, Charms never was her strong suit.

“Fuck it,” Marlene announced, standing up to grab a bottle from their secret stash of Firewhiskey.

“You sure you want to drink that now?”

“I’m not getting pissed, it’s one drink.” Before Marlene had the chance, Remus grabbed the bottle from her hands and took a swig. “That’s against the rules, McKinnon, and you’re underage.”

“Remus John fucking Lupin! Stop abusing your prefect powers!”

But she and Sirius, of course, had their ways of coping with the stress.

“Do you — mmm — think it will be that hard?” Y/N said in between kisses. Sirius was the one to approach her.

Y/N had been doubtful about their situation, considering Sirius was flirting with other girls but they weren’t together. She knew that — she had no claim and besides, she trusted Sirius enough to not lie and deceive her had he been with anyone else.

Sirius’s hands flew down to unbutton her blouse and shrugged off his shirt. “Dunno. I’spouse I’ll get all Exceeds Expectations or Outstandings anyway. Don’t need — ah — to worry.”

Y/N tilted her head away from Sirius who pouted and quickly pressed another kiss. “Maybe you’re the arrogant toe-rag.”

“You’re too mean to me,” sighed Sirius, wearing a bemused smirk. “Watch your mouth. D’you know how many women — nicer women — want my attention but you get it?”

Inwardly, Y/N felt her heart soar. He’d just eased her speculations. “Me? Watch it?”

“Don’t act like you don’t like it.”

“Fine,” Y/N then peeled herself off of him, buttoning her clothes neatly. Her lips twitched up in a knowing smirk. “Be like that then.” And then she walked out the door, leaving Sirius to whine and chase after her.

“Wait — I didn’t mean that — wait! L/N! Come back, please?”

She was growing really fond of Sirius. Even hearing his name made her heart flutter.

When Y/N finally went to bed, she remembered about the career consultation she had with McGonagall and her persistence in helping her become a Healer. It left her wide awake.

That morning was deathly quiet as Professor McGonagall stood in front of them in the Great Hall as desks were lined in neat rows. Her eyes scanned every student before her hand went to grab the large hourglass sitting on the desk beside her along with any spare quills, parchment, ink bottles.

“You may begin.” McGonagall turned over the hourglass and Y/N heard the flipping of papers. Her heart thumped in her chest as she took one last glance up and then lowered her eyes on the paper and began to read…

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June 8th, 1976

Maybe it was the combination of the sun beating down on their backs or the tension from the recent surge of Death Eater attacks or stress levels rising from OWLs and future NEWTs, but everyone was on edge that day.

Y/N was hiding in her little nook under the tapestry, watching the sun reflect on the water, glistening and calm before she rolled over, deciding to slip out. Yes, while it may be for her safety, being stuck with a partner to go everywhere was annoying and began to grind on her teeth. There was never a moment to be alone anymore, especially not with the stalking map.

They'd just completed their Defense Against the Dark Arts exam. So far, Y/N thought Potions was by far the easiest examination, aside from Herbology. She wasn’t looking forward to Transfigurations…

But as she roamed the halls, fanning herself with her review notes and debating if she should go find Regulus, a few students ran in the opposite direction. Their faces were filled with curiosity and surprise. Some giggled, others gossiped and a few gave Y/N questioning looks.

In fact, so many students were following the rest. A student, most likely a third year, came running past Y/N before she stopped them. “Excuse me, is there something going on today?”

“Oh!” A look of recognition crossed the student. “You’re Lupin’s girlfriend, right?”

“Sure... Why?” “Something’s going on by the lake with the Marauders.”

Y/N navigated her way through the crowd and out to the courtyard. Under a beech tree near the edge of the Black Lake where she and Regulus had spent their day trying to swim, stood a group of students. All wore different coloured robes, huddling together in a large circle. Distantly, she could hear a faint buzzing and caughten a glimpse of gold. A golden Snitch.

She pushed her way through the students. Amid the circle, there was a flash of familiar dark red hair and Lily’s voice. “You make me SICK.”

Lily stepped out of the circle and the only thing Y/N heard was James’ bombing voice shouting after her. “Hey, EVANS!”

Angry tears threatened to spill down as Lily ran away. From the corner of her eye, she watched as Emmeline stormed out quietly, but unlike Lily, tears were freely streaming down. Y/N could hardly see over the bodies and faces of the crowd as they pushed and bumped into each other.

She was about to chase after Lily until the bright flashing of lights caught her attention. A gasp went around and there in the air was Snape, hanging upside down with only gray underpants waist down. Pink soup buds were all over his face and mouth and Sirius could be heard saying something.

“Who wants to see me take off Snivelly’s pants?” James taunts, talking to the crowd. A large gash was on his cheek, blood cascading down and droplets sprayed on his robes. A loud round of cheers went round.

Remus finally stepped in hesitantly, whispering into James’ ear as his hand clutched his forearm, lowering his wand. Whatever he must’ve said to James finally kicked in as Snape thudded to the ground. She caught Sirius’gaze who went to open his mouth but it was too late as she turned around.

They hadn’t listened to her. They went looking for revenge.

There will be another time to be cross. Her priority was to find Lily.

She ran through the corridors and passed by an elf going to start preparing for dinner before stopping them. She had an idea.

“Please, is there any way you can get Jelly slugs in the next couple of minutes and bring them to Gryffindor's common room?” The elf gave a curt nod.

Y/N bolted up to her dorm and there, a bag filled with Jelly slugs was left on a nearby table as she snatched it. She knocked a few times on the door, hearing Lily’s sniffling. “Can I come in?” There was a faint yes.

As she opened the door and closed it, Lily didn’t face her, but instead let out a bitter, “Are you going to say ‘I told you so?’ ” Y/N cautioned. This was already the most either had spoken to each other in a month.

“Do you want me to?”

Lily let out a weak laugh. Y/N rounded on her, coming to sit on the edge of her bed. It stayed quiet until Lily spoke again.

“I’d known that our... friendship was falling apart. But I thought — I thought maybe… he would change? I thought… he cared about me.” Lily finally broke as tears came cascading down her face.

Her heart ached at the scene and opened her arms wide to let Lily hug her. Her head fell into the crook of Y/N’s neck as she wept and she was there to hold her until she stopped crying. In a muffled voice and through thick tears, Lily explained what had happened and Y/N swelled with ferocity.

“I’m sorry…” She muffled into her.

Y/N’s lips pulled into a tight, uncomfortable smile. She only wished Lily didn’t have to go through that to realize Snape wasn’t good. “I’m sorry too.”

Lily pulled away, still leaning on her as Y/N floated a box of tissues their way.

“I brought you something. It’s silly but…”

She took out the Jelly Slugs. Lily wiped her tears away and took the bag, studying it for a while. Lily gave a half cry, half laugh and went to hug her again. They stayed like that for a while.

Nightfall came and Lily refused to leave the common room, wanting to avoid the Marauders and the other students there at the lake. Marlene and Dorcas stopped by with food for them but kept their distance, knowing that Lily wanted to be alone.

There was a soft knocking on the door, Y/N got up to answer it. Mary was there. She looked tired, but that's all Mary had been looking like these days.

“Mary?” Lily asked, “What is it?”

“It's… Snape. He’s been sitting outside Gryffindor’s portrait for hours now.”

There was a shift in Lily who immediately got up, pushed past them without a word and marched down the stairs; gripping her wand with full force. Both students gulped, knowing not to get in her way.

Mary then turned to her, “Potter asked to speak with you. He’s asking to meet at his dorm.”

And that’s exactly what she did. Y/N stomped up to his dorm. Waves of rage followed off of her as she swung the door open.

“Lupin, Pettigrew, you should leave.” Her voice was void of emotions, empty, like a machine, as she stared down at Sirius and James. From what Lily said and the little she saw, she wasn’t mad at them.

Not only had James and Sirius broken their promise, their cruelty reached a new high, causing the mess that they were all currently in, but Sirius had also broken the little trust she’d given him. Admittedly though, a part of her anger stemmed more from Lily’s behalf.

Snape, by every means, deserved payback. But the way it was handled… James and Sirius might as well be the same as Snape. A prank, a hex, a couple of jinxes were great, but had James gone further like he said…

“What the fuck did I tell you.” At her tone, they both seemed to flinch.

“He deserved it!” Sirius said, standing up.

Y/N ignored him, continuing to stare at James. It only then occurred to him that she wanted an answer. She expected more from him than she did Sirius.

“He called you and Evans a you-know-what. Then physically harmed you and Moony — and then everything else. Why are you angry? He’s a daft —”

“Daft?” Y/N mocked, “I gave you one job —”

Sirius laughed in blatant disbelief, “He’s right!”

“Silencio.” Sirius went mute and she turned back to James. “What were you trying to do?”

He scoffed, “I was trying to get him back. He doesn’t get to treat you like that and not get any sort of repercussion.” James folded his arms. “You seemed fine with the pranks, what’s your problem now?”

“I’m fine with pranks because typically you and your boy-band prank a group for laughs. Even if he deserved it, you already crossed a line by pulling his pants down! Had you pulled off another layer —” “I wasn’t really going to do that!”

“How would I know that?” Then she whipped around to Sirius. “And you! I trusted you not to go do something stupid!”

James looked at them confused. She unmuted him. Sirius was not having it.

“You’re up yourself. Get off your high horse — white knight shit!” “Do you want me to mute you again?”

Y/N sighed, walking to sit on Remus’ bed while both Sirius and James defended their actions. She wanted to throttle them.

“Pureblood snobs,” she said out loud. “You do realize that if anything, you just fueled Snape even more? I don’t doubt that now we all have targets on our backs because of your little stunt.” The idea of what Snape was willing to do now after severing ties from Lily only scared her. She was reminded that yes, Snape was a highly skilled wizard, known for his hexes, fondness of dark magic, lingering with wannabe death eaters…

They both gaped. “We didn’t think of it like that —” “Because you don’t have to think about it! You made it worse!”

It was silent after that, as the implication of what she said sunk in.

“I —” Sirius sputtered.

James sighed, going to sit on Peter’s bed across. “I’ll make it right.” He wore a large white bandage, sliced open from Snape. Man, fuck Snape.

“Fucking idiots,” she breathed out. She tried to ease the anger from her system entirely. Instead of fighting, she left the room wordlessly and went back to her dorm.

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June 12th, 1976

They’d just finished their Astronomy examinations which were held at night. The moon light was faint, ready to reach its peak in a few hours.

After Snape’s incident, Lily had given James the brunt of her anger. She gave him detention for the rest of the year with Professor Binns. Sirius had been given a good earful while she left Peter alone. Even Remus got a scolding for not stepping in and using his prefect influence.

Y/N had taken some time away from the Marauders, mostly out of respect for Lily who rightfully was upset about the entire ordeal. But with how the sections of the exam were taken, they were split into different towers; the girls in one tower, Y/N and the Marauders in another. She was forced to walk with them, because of their wonderful agreement: partners.

James was remorseful, along with Sirius who pulled her into a broom closet multiple times to apologize.

James, overall, was fairly beat up. After their squabble, the Snape incident, he and Emmeline had broken up. It had shocked her, confused as to why they broke up until Marlene chimed in; he’d asked Lily on a date during the Snape incident.

If it could get any worse…

Y/N decided to stay by Remus and Peter as they walked back to the common room.

Remus clenched his eyes shut every so often. He appeared to be in pain. His complexion was so pale she swore she could see the veins flowing with blood. It was as if his skin was not quite opaque but stretched thinly just enough to cover him. The muted light from the moon shone on his skin as a vein strained against his neck; waterline rimmed red, lips parted to suck in air like it was a struggle. She would’ve been worried, standing so close to Remus as his chest heaved, had he not looked like he commanded every inch of his body.

Remus was… alluring in the lighting. But his breathing hitched and everyone’s head rotated towards him.

“Are you —” She started.

“I’m fine,” he lashed. His tongue poked out to swipe across his teeth, gazing up to a nearby window. Alway the moon’s most watchful admirer.

The Marauders looked at each other.

“Alright,” Peter chimed, breaking the tension. “Moony’s been feeling down today. I’m going to take him to the hospital wing.”

James nodded, speaking cautiously. “Whiskers, let’s go?”

She shook her head. “I’ll walk back — go with him.” Remus needed their assistance more. There was this gaze in his eyes, golden and gleamed in the low light. It was like he was looking straight past them.

James shook his head. “No, we all stay in groups. It’s safer — for all of us.”

No, it’s safer for me. James and Sirius were fine, it was just her that needed the protection and the very thought made her sick.

They walked with her, stopping at the edge of the hall leading to the common room; both in a rush and Y/N didn’t want to hold them back anymore from Remus. They bid their goodbyes and James walked in front, leaving Sirius behind who gave a small smile and left.

She turned and walked to the portrait and there, sitting on the ground for the fifth time since that day; Snape.

“Get lost,” she snapped. “Lily doesn’t want to talk to you — let alone see you.”

As she was about to step into the portrait, Snape muttered, “Stupid Muggle.”

“Maybe if you washed your fucking hair for once, Lily would’ve returned your feelings. Go fuck yourself.” She hurled, wheeling around. Waves of rage flowed throughout her body as the boy stared at her, flooding with wrath.

The remark was his breaking point as he slipped his wand from his sleeves, his face pulled downwards in a sneer as he walked towards her. Before she could retaliate or register what he was doing, Snape already cast a spell. The look in his eyes told her to be scared.

Y/N flew backwards, thrown against the stone wall behind her as she fell onto the corridor floor. Her head slammed against the wall, hard. The impact was so great that the stone was covered in her blood, some of her hair caught onto the jagged edges. It was dizzying and she couldn’t properly think straight. She went to reach for her wand but saw it rolled a few feet away.

“Filthy Mudblood. I always wondered why a bunch of Purebloods would cling to you. Do they feel pity? Or are the rumours true and you’re their toy?”

Snape had bent down, wand digging sharply into Y/N’s neck. She mustered all the strength she had, yelling, “JAMES!”

“Pathetic,” he spits, “Can’t handle poor ickle Snivellus Snape?”

There was a loud ringing in her ears and her vision seemed to blur. She tried to push Snape away but instead, he pushed her against the wall roughly, her head slamming yet again. She cried out, tears now pouring from the hot white pain that shot right through her skull.

“James! J-James — Sirius…”

She could faintly hear the Fat Lady yell in the background, yelling at Snape to stop but. But he raised his wand, incantations ready to spill from his tongue as a bright red beam shot out from the darkness.

“Stupefy!” Instead of James, Sirius stood tall as he held Snape’s wand.

“Ah, the boyfriend — I mean, the other boyfriend. Well, Black, you need to start keeping her on a leash.”

Y/N was too disorientated to even understand what Snape was saying. Her head bled as she fought the urge to close her eyes. Sirius’ eyes were wide with terror as he stared down at Y/N as he digested Snape’s words.

Strangely, Sirius was quiet as he glared at Snape; chest heaving as if he was holding back.

“I’m surprised, really…” He flashed his menacing sharp teeth. “I thought it was a full moon tonight.” He grinned ear to ear, thrilled that had the upper hand now. All the colour from Sirius’ face drained in a second, completely caught off guard as the greasy-hair boy used this to his advantage. Using wandless magic, Snape pried his wand back from Sirius’ grip and quickly rose to his feet; wand pointed as he rounded him.

Snape continued, “Is that why your mates aren’t here? Helping that mutt of yours? Tell me, is he an experiment? Keepin’ him around for when you get bored.

“I bet you get bored often. What’s it like, having no family to return to?”

She didn't have time to even blink as two bolts of red came spurting out of each wizard's wand. Flashes of light illuminated each boy as sparks crashed together. The sound had Y/N scrambling towards her wand which landed a few meters away. Finally grasping her wand, she points it directly at Snape.

"Expelliarmus!" The last bit of energy she had was released, dropping her wand by her side as Snape's wand flew behind him. Sirius had walked up to him as he delivered a sharp punch to his nose and shoved him against the wall behind.

“Petrificus Totalus!” Sirius shouted. Snape became still, rigid in his hold.

"Why don't you take a trip down to the Whomping Willow tonight." Sirius muttered a counterspell as Snape picked his wand up and ran. “Deactivate the tree.”

As the echo of footsteps hushed, Sirius walks toward Y/N, taking her wand and his before shoving them into his pocket as he proceeds to lift her bridal style from the ground. She could feel the wandless magic he was using to help lift her, to avoid hurting her anymore. Before she could say anything, the pain in her nerves intensified. She felt like she was on fire. Sounds of whines and high moans left her mouth as Sirius began to panic, his feet surging forward as he ran towards the hospital wing.

“Hey, you’re okay,” Sirius whispered, but it was directed more to himself rather than Y/N. She scarcely noticed him squeezing her hand gently. “You’re okay darling.”

Her arms felt heavy and darkness rushed over her like a thick blindfold as the last thing she saw were tears blurring Sirius’ vision, his body shivering in adrenaline.

77 notes · View notes

vavuska · 3 years

Text

CRUELLA, THE STORY OF A PUPPY SLAUGHTER (Part 2)

Here for part 1:

Part 1 - Summary:

In the previous part we saw how was originally described Cruella de Vil in Dodie Smith's 101 Dalmatians: a rich heiress, bossy, cruel toward animals, obsessed with fancy jewls, luxury and also fur coats. Cruella met Anita at school, they were in friendly terms, even if Anita described Cruella as a menacing student, expelled from school for drinking ink. Dodie Smith wrote that Cruella comes from a troublesome family: her ancestor was a serial killer, with the supernatural ability to summon storms and a tail (reference to Bram Stoker's Dracula and the devil). Cruella has strange eating habits (uses a lot of pepper, the Devil's spice) and is usually cold (as a corpse or a vampire). Cruella was so obsessed with fur to marry a furrier not for love but only for his job. Cruella's husband is weak and she is the dominant element in the couple, she also forced him to take her surname after their marriage.

We saw also the rapresentation of Cruella in 1961 cartoon version of 101 Dalmatians. Cruella is still a old friend of Anita. Her main colors are red (her loudy red car is the fist thing we see of Cruella) — expressing blood, anger, determination and passion — and green (she is always surrounded by nasty green smoke that comes from her cigarette) that rapresents envy, sickness and greed.

Her appearance is very particular, because she looks like a skeleton and her skin is very white - pale, very different from the healthy pink one of the other characters. She looks like a corpse, she looks sick in this 1961 version of 101 Dalmatians.

Her entrance is accompanied by a song, written by Roger, in which he anticipates the evil intention of Cruella and underlight the disturbing connotations of her surname (Count de Ville is one of Dracula's alias; Cruella de Vil is a pun name on “cruel devil”).

3 - Cruella in 1996

The 1996 live action of 101 Dalmatians the entrance of Cruella is anticipated by a sequence in which we heard a news London Zoo discovered the excoriated carcass of its prized 3-year-old female Siberian tiger, then the news reporter says that according to animal protection groups that monitor the international trade that a white Siberian tiger's fur is so rare that the offer of a pelt would surely draw the attention in contraband. And then the journalist ask “Who cold do something so horrible?”

Then enters Cruella. She wears veiled garment complete with Balenciaga-inspired extreme shoulders and floor-length black and white fur cape.

We saw this mysterious woman with veiled face and a long fur coat - we doesn't know she is Cruella yet - , exiting from her black and white 1974 Panther Deville, license plate “De Vil”. This version of the car is more closed to the book's one.

In Dodie Smith's book, Cruella's chauffeur-driven car is black-and-white striped, which Mr. Dearly describes as “a moving zebra crossing”, and Cruella boasts that it has the loudest horn in London, which she insists on sounding for the Dearly couple.

We saw Cruella shaking the ashes of her cigarette on the shiny and impeccable shoes of her vallet Alzonzo, while he tries to not look bothered by this lack of respect, and then we saw Cruella entering in a luxurious place called “House of De Vil”. Her red cigarette holder — switching from the turquoise the 1966 animated version favored — matched with her brilliant red lipstick, makes a great contrast to her black and white attire and also underlight the psychology of color typical of Disney villains: red is associated with malice, evil (hell and the devil), blood, danger, strength, power, determination and passion.

Now we have a sight of this long railway-like white hallway surrounded by exotic fur-clothes. Now we know she is a stylist and that she is maybe the one who cold be interested in the fur of the dead Siberian tiger.

A crowd of terrified / adoring employees hurry to greet the woman: “Good morning, Miss De Vil”.

Finally Cruella enters in her office and takes off her hat with veil, reveling her double-colored hair. She is Cruella De Vil in all her glory.

This sequence recalls openly the Devil Wears Prada.

This version of Cruella played by Glenn Close is much more human that the 1961 version. She is more charismatic too and also more fashionable. Her entrance is not as scary as the 1961 version, but shows her obsession for fur, her violation of the law and abuse on animals (also at those at risk of extinction) and her high level stylist house of fashion.

She isn't Anita's friend anymore, she is Anita's boss.

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While walking to her office, Cruella meets Anita, played by Joely Richardson. She spots that Anita is working on a new model (no more white tiger stripes, but dalmatian's spots). Anita's design catches her eyes and interest, as well as Anita's dog, Perdi: they had a strange chat about Perdi's fur. That, knowing already the plot of the movie and the news details Roger and Pongo were hearing in the previous scene, well, this conversation sounds a lot disturbing.

Cruella: “Anita, darling.”

Anita: “Good morning, Cruella.”

Cruella: “What a charming dog.”

Anita: “Thank you.”

Cruella: “Spots?”

Anita: “Yes, she’s dalmatian.”

Cruella: “lnspiration?”

Anita: “Yes.”

Cruella: “Long hair or short?”

Anita: “Short.”

Cruella: “Coarse or fine?”

Anita: “l’m afraid it is a little coarse.”

Cruella: “Pity!”

Anita: “But it was very fine when she was a puppy.”

Cruella: “Redemption! We need to have a little girl talk. Come to my office. Bring the drawing.”

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Ok. The next scene contains a very popular quote from this movie.

We are in Cruella's office: she has just invited Anita to talk about her design. Cruella wants a new coat and would love to wear the one that has just see at Anita's desk. Let's remeber she doesn't want to wear Anita's puppies already, for now is just an abstract idea about someone else's puppies, but they are still talking about Dalmatians' spots, compared with leopard ones and Anita seems to be perfectly fine. I don't think she knows already of Cruella's criminal way to obtain fur from animals at risk of extinction that her henchmen steal from Zoos, but Anita works for a woman who loves to wear REAL fur. I just can't imagine Cruella wearing any faux fur coat. This is not a crime, because it's legal wear fur coats made of mink, sable and ermine and such, but I found very weird that Anita is not having any suspect about Cruella's intention, because she is working on a model of striped tiger fur and Cruella lives for fur, worship fur. She just could not accept to wear faux fur.

However, Anita doesn't seem bothered at all by this strange talk about her dog's fur (yes, dog are not coats), but as a woman who works for fashion/fur industry and loves dogs she should know that in some parts of the world it is legal using cat and dogs to make clothes. I simply can't understand why she is not having any reaction at Cruella's strage interest about Perdi's fur.

Cruella and Anita talk about their work and Cruella makes lovely appreciation for Anita's drawings: she says she is talented and she doesn't want to risk to lose her pen.

That's now that Anita says she would not left Cruella's House for another job, she would left only if she decided to be a stay-at-home mother and wife. Well, no, she talks more genericly of "plans" with a hypothetical, for now, husband/boyfriend, and this could means everything, for example moving to another city, the assumption about marriage is an association made by Cruella that told us a lot of things about how producers would she looks, compared with the family-oriented Disney business plan. This is a very relevant issue we was also in her 1961 version: the losing comparison between Anita's family's oriented live choice and Cruella's — who is sigle, rich and indipendent — one. Cruella loves only her fur coats, while Anita have an husband, a simple house and also a lot of dogs. Cruella is alone, evil, ugly, wears a lot of make up, and not happy, while Anita is married, preatty but in a natural way and happy of her simple lifestyle with her husband and their dogs.

Cruella: “Now, darling, tell me more about these spots. l did leopard spots in the ‘80s. Well, dalmatian spots are a little different, aren’t they? Cozy. Classic.”

Anita: “Cuddly. Less trashy.”

Cruella: “Exactly! Do you like spots, Frederick?”

Frederick: “Oh, l don’t believe so, Madame. l thought we liked stripes this year.”

Cruella: “What kind of sycophant are you?”

Frederick: “Um, what kind of sycophant would you like me to be?”

Cruella: “Frederick… l’m beginning to see spots. What would it cost us to start again on next year’s line?”

Frederick: “Millions.”

Cruella: “Can we afford it?”

Frederick: “Well, yes--”

Cruella: “Pay it, darling. Now go away. l have to talk to Anita.”

(...)

Cruella: “Sit down, please. How long have you been working for me?”

Anita: “Uh, two years last August.”

Cruella: “And you’ve done wonderful work in that time.”

Anita: “Thank you.”

Cruella: “l don’t see you socially, do l?”

Anita: No.

Cruella: “And you’re not very well-known, despite your obvious talent.”

Anita: “Well, notoriety doesn’t mean very much to me.”

Cruella: “Your work is fresh and clean, unfettered, unpretentious. lt sells. And one of these days… my competitors are going to suss out who you are… and they’re going to try to steal you away.”

Anita: “Oh, no. lf l left, it wouldn’t be for another job.”

Cruella: “Oh, really?bWhat would it be for?”

Anita: “Well, l don’t know. Um, if l met someone, if working here didn’t fit in with our plans.”

Cruella: “Marriage.”

Anita: “Perhaps.”

Cruella: “More good women have been lost to marriage… than to war, famine, disease and disaster. You have talent, darling. Don’t squander it.”

Anita: “Well, l don’t think that it’s something we have to worry about. l don’t have any prospects.”

Cruella: “Thank God.”

Cruella makes a very cynical — but historically appropriate and also very sharable — critic about marriage. She was right, expecially because of what we saw about her 1960s version and how she is rooted in anti-feminism and in an open condamn of women's growing emancipation from the “traditional family role” imposed by media in the 1950s and 1960s, rapresented by 1961's Anita. However, Cruella is a cruel, evil villaness, so what she says to Anita is just a condamn made by Disney on women who choose career over family and love.

But, here, Cruella is not a friend of Anita who gives her a kind and appreciable life advice (if we ignore that Cruella is evil), Cruella is Anita's boss and doesn't want to lose a valuable and talented employee, so from this point of view her statement sounds a lot more controversial: women in the 50s lost their job if they got married, they were fired because most of the time bosses made them sign a contract with a marriage bar that allow employers to withdraw from the contract, so their contract would terminate on marriage, or said in a simple way: employers used to fire the soon-to-be wife, because it was clear for them that a wife should focus more on family and house care than on a career (that's because the soon-to-be wife is going to have an husband, the bread-giver of the family).

Nowdays, it's a bitter different, but women that want to have also a family are discriminated in workplaces: employers ask constantly in job interviews of they plan to have a family, if they have some relationships or if they are single. That's because employers would lose money paying for maternity leaves to their female employees that cannot work for some month. A young woman in fertile age with a stable relationship is a risk for a employer more than a young man in fertile age with a stable relationship. A newly mom is more closed to chose a lesser paid job or a part time one compatible to her family then a newly dad.

And also this quote, remember we are talking about the 90s, gives a clear flashback on women's unstable careers back then, but also puts in highlines some stereotypes about women who menage to balance both work and family: their quility of work is lower than before (this is said by Cruella to the new-mom Anita, we will see it below), they are not productive enough, they makes employers lose money, ecc. Nowadays, unlike in the 90s there is a constant svalutation of women who chose to put family first: they have no free time, they have no a social life (well, some shy single woman like Anita doesn't have a frizzy social life too), some kind of lifes are better than others (luxury and exotics vacation are better than reading books, dancing and going to bars with friends is better than playing sports or painting, ecc.) and if they dare to go out with their friends or take time for themselves and their hobbies, society is still ready to shame them for “not being good mothers”. That's not right: everyone should be able to live their life as they want, to have a frizzy social life or just enjoying a little time for themselves, without receiving criticism of any sort.

In the US the marriage bar, the practice of restricting the employment of married women was never explicitly eliminated by federal laws. Marriage bars were widely relaxed in wartime, during World War I and World War II due to an increase in the demand for labor in the assistance of war efforts (mostly because men were at the front).

Since the 1960s, the practice has widely been regarded as employment inequality and sexual discrimination, and has been either discontinued or outlawed by anti-discrimination laws. For example, in Italy marriage bar is declared illegal with law nr. 7 of 1963, that establishes the prohibition of dismissal of female workers for reasons of marriage (later extended also to male workers), and law nr. 1204 of 1971 prohibited dismissal of the working mother within the first year of the child's age (maternity bar).

The main reason of the bar is that married women were supported by their husbands, therefore they did not need jobs. However, marriage bars provided more opportunity for those whom proponents viewed as "actually" needing employment, such as single women or married men (needed to support the family).

Discrimination against married female teachers in the US was not terminated until 1964 with the passing of the Civil Rights Act.

Marriage bars generally affected educated, middle-class married women, particularly native-born white women. Their occupations were that of teaching and clerical work. Lower class women and women of color who took jobs in manufacturing, waitressing, and domestic servants were often unaffected by marriage bars.

However, some State law provides protection for people discriminated for their marital status. For example, in California, discrimination in employment based on marital status is against the law. Under the California Fair Employment and Housing Act (FEHA), it is illegal for an employer to discriminate based on an applicant’s marital status or perceived marital status.

Under the FEHA, it is an unlawful employment practice for an employer to treat an applicant or employee differently based on the employee’s marital status. This includes: Refusing to hire or employ, Refusing to select a person for a training program, Firing, bearing, or discharging an employee, Discriminating against a person in compensation or in terms, conditions, or privileges of employment.

Marital status could refer to whether an individual is married or not, has been married, or plans to get married. This includes: Currently married, Divorced, Married to a same-sex partner or opposite-sex partner, Engaged to be married, Married but separated, Married but seeking a divorce, Widowed, Annulled marriage, Plans to get married someday, Plans to never get married, Other marital states.

Forty years ago, on October 31, 1978, the Pregnancy Discrimination Act (PDA) was signed into law to prohibit discrimination in the workplace on the basis of pregnancy, childbirth, or related medical conditions. Since its passage, more women have been able to continue working while pregnant; they have also been able to work further into their pregnancies without being forced to leave their jobs.

Pregnancy discrimination involves treating a woman (an applicant or employee) unfavorably because of pregnancy, childbirth or a medical condition related to pregnancy or childbirth. The Pregnancy Discrimination Act (PDA) forbids discrimination based on pregnancy when it comes to any aspect of employment, including hiring, firing, pay, job assignments, promotions, layoff, training, fringe benefits, such as leave and health insurance and any other term or condition of employment. Pregnancy discrimination also includes perceived bias when expectant employees experience subtly hostile behaviors such as social isolation, negative stereotyping and negative or rude interpersonal treatment such as lower performance expectations, transferring the pregnant employee to less-desirable shifts or assignments or inappropriate jokes and intrusive comments.

Claims of pregnancy discrimination filed with the U.S. Equal Employment Opportunity Commission (EEOC) increased sharply in the 1990s and 2000s, and pregnancy discrimination remains a widespread problem across all industries and regions of the United States. Yet statistics show that in the last 10 years, more than 50,000 pregnancy discrimination claims were filed with the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission and Fair Employment Practices Agencies in the United States.

So, yes. Disney here touched a lot of points in about two levels:

Family is more important than a career (successful, unmarried stylist Cruella is the evil one) and if you, a working woman, put career over family you are wrong. Nowday, we know that there isn't anything wrong about putting career first, but also we know that there isn't anything wrong also on putting family first or find a balance between the two. The important thing we should remember is that if we have not equality in working places, we should have not real free choices about our dream life;

It's perfectly fine excluding women in stable relationships or women with children from workplaces, because their work would not be at the level of a single woman, that can sacrifice her free time working late (employers exploitation logic deny free time);

Only child-free single women should be allowed to work, but only until they meet a soul mate (reminiscent of the old Disney penchant for old traditional gender roles).

However, returning at the plot, after that Anita reassures Cruella that she has no marriage prospects on the horizon, Cruella asked to Alonzo to bring Anita's drawings to her and the two women start to discuss about Anita's work, because Cruella want to add a long fur stole to Anita's original model: “I look wonderful in spots”, says Cruella,“we could do this in linen. It would be stunning in fur”. Then Anita remarks that would not be appropriate wearing fur in April, so Cruella give her famous lines: “But it’s my only true love, darling. l live for fur. l worship fur. After all, is there a woman in all this wretched world who doesn’t?” and then makes a joke that anticipates what she will plan to Anita's puppies more over in the movie: “lt is rather amusing, isn’t it? (...) If we make this coat... it would be as if l were wearing your dog.”

Then Anita and Perdi meet Roger (Jeff Daniels) and his dog Pongo, they fall in love and get married. Cruella doesn't like this. Obviously. We see a very enraged Cruella, wearing a black cellophane velvet with black and white coque feather trim, screaming against Anita's “betrayal”, when she read Anita and Roger's wedding publication on a newspaper.

Her anger toward Roger for stealing her best employee, maybe envy for Anita's love (well, it’s Disney), are promptly consoled, when her two henchmen bring her a little present from Mr. Skinner (Nomen omen, this surname fits perfectly creepy scared guy that work as furrier): it's the Siberian tiger found dead and excoriated in the London Zoo at the beginning of the movie. It was Cruella that wanted her fur and at the end she obtained it.

This Mr. Skinner (John Shrapnel) is a sadic taxidermist that enjoys killing and skinning animals alive, just like he did to the female white tiger at the London Zoo. He doesn't speak beacause when he was young, a dog attacked him by tearing open his throat and ripping out his vocal cords in the process, leaving him with a bad scar on his neck and is a little based on Mr. de Vil, Cruella's husband in Dodie Smith's book, but with the difference that Mr. Skinner has a more strong and menacing personality, while Mr. de Vil was weak and totally dependent by Cruella's desires.

Near the end of the movie, we will see in a crescendo of more explicit references to animal abuse, this charming version of Cruella de Vill ordering Cruella De Vil to Mr. Skinner to kill the dogs, because she fells that the police's suspicion are mounting against her: “poison them,” says Cruella “drown them, bash them on the head. Got any chloroform? I don't care how you kill the little beasts, just do it, and do it now!”

(See here for references: X and X)

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In second relevant scene, Roger and Anita are out, walking the dogs, when Anita spots Cruella's car. In fact, as happen at the beginning the black and white 1974 Panther Deville is the first element we see in this scene and anticipate the entrance of Cruella. Recognizing the car, Anita runs to home and there she found Cruella. She welcomes in a very lovely way Anita in her own home, but she is very rude with Roger, who tries his best to be polite during the whole scene. Cruella then mocks Roger about his job (he is a videogame designer, a well paid job nowadays, but that in the 90s can just make snobbish people like Cruella turn up their noses, it's not the classical respectable professions “to make money”). Anita and Roger are just returned from their honeymoon and Creulla acts very nicely toward Anita, she says she missed her and their exchange of ideas, but she isn't happy when Roger announce they are going to have a baby, but Cruella remarks that “she has no use for children”, but she is very interested in Pongo and Perdi's puppies.

Unlike her cartoon version Cruella during the movie shows a lot of different, hiconic and fashionable outfits: at her visit at Anita and Roger's house, she wears a zebra coat dress with mink sleeves with matching Russian-inspired hat, red PVC boots that match with gloves in the same color and material (long fake red nails on each finger) and her red cigarette holder. Her dress also features a practical detail: a cigarette case paired with ammo cartridges as if they are military medals. The zebra stripes also give off the impression of bones or a rib cage for that extra goth vibe. Her lips are permanently stained the color of crimson, while her winged eyeliner adds to her high drama aesthetic.

Despite being set in contemporary London, everything about Cruella's closet defies a specific time period. It is as if she stepped in from the '60s of the original story combined with a century's worth of high fashion references. This is very logic: people have a lot of clothes and is natural for a very fashionable stylist to have and wear a lot of haute couture outfits.

Cruella: “And you must be Rufus.”

Roger: “No, it’s-- it’s Roger. And it’s a pleasure, Miss De Vil.”

Cruella: “What’s a pleasure?”

Roger: “Uh, making your acquaintance.”

Cruella: “Such a sweet thought. l wish l could reciprocate. Tell me, darling, you married him for his dog. Oh, darling, l’ve missed you so. l hate that you’ve taken leave.”

Anita: “But l’m still working. Um, you’ve been getting my sketches?”

Cruella: “Well, it’s not the same thing. l miss the interaction-- And what is it that you do… that allows you to support Anita in such… splendor?”

Roger: “l design video games.”

Cruella: “Video games? ls he having me on?”

Anita: “Oh, no, he’s very good at it. Um, and it’s a growing business.”

Cruella: “Those horrible noisy things that children play with on their televisions?Someone designs them? What a senseless thing to do with your life.”

Roger: “Oh, did Anita tell you the news? She’s going to have a baby.”

Cruella: “ls this true?”

Anita: “Yes.”

Cruella: “Oh, you poor thing! l’m so sorry.”

Anita: “We’re very excited about it, Cruella.”

Cruella: “You can’t be serious.”

Roger: “She is!”

Cruella: “Well, what can l say? Accidents will happen.”

Anita: “We’re having puppies, too!”

Cruella: “Puppies! You have been a busy boy. Well, l must say, that’s somewhat better news. l adore puppies! l’ll expect a decline in your work product.”

Anita: “Oh, l shouldn’t think so.”

Cruella: “Be sure to let me know when the blessed event occurs.”

Anita: “Oh, well, it won’t be for another eight months.”

Cruella: “The puppies, darling. l’ve no use for babies.”

Again here we have a remark of how horrible is Cruella as boss (she says to Anita she expect a decline in her work, and this would make her useless and less precious for Cruella's House) and as person: according to Disney people who doesn't like children are horrible and cruel, but there is a double meaning in Cruella's word: “Iʼve no use for babies” could mean both that she is not interested in maternity (that's perfectly legit, not all like children, are comfortable with them or just dream to have children someday) but also that she couldn't find any material use of babies, while for puppies we know she knows well how to use them: as material for a new fur coat.

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The next scene is a classical recall to the original Disney cartoon of 1961: it's a stormy night and during the lightning flash for a few frames only, we see Cruella as a complete silhouette while few second after she opens the door and enters in Anita and Roger's house, with a big menacing smile on her face.

Pattern clashing will not only stand, but it is also encouraged, as the tiger cape with a leopard lining reveals. Paired with a leather skirt and tiger bodice featuring claw clasps

Again there is the recurring joke about Cruella misnaming Roger (Rufus, Rupert, Roland), if it's intentional (and this version of Cruella doesn't seem to left anything casual) it's a clear remark about how she dislikes Roger, the guy that stole her best designer, if it's not intentional, shows how Cruella find him irrelevant for her purpose at the point she doesn't even bother to rember his name to flatter him. Cruella is not polite or kind to Roger as she is with Anita. She doesn't need Roger, she need Anita and hates Roger for turning down Anita's value for her interests.

In this scene Cruella uses the same words she uses in the 1961 version (“How marvelous. How marvelous! How perfect... Oh, the devil take it! They’re mongrels! No spots! No spots at all! What horrible little white rats!”), but with something new that shows her uncaring nature (“All right, put them in a bag. l’ll take them with me now.”) and again mocks Roger for his “strange” and not prestigious job, when he firstly deny her offer for the puppies (“Oh? You’ve come into some money, have you? Did you design some silly game… that will drive the delinquent kiddies into frenzies of video delight?”).

However, compared to her 1961 alter ego, this Anita is more assertive and talks for herself, saying a determinated “no” to Cruella. Anita also starts to be a bit suspicious about Cruella's intentions (“But, Cruella, what would you do with 15 puppies?”). Roger and Anita this time seems to be equally determinated to refuse Cruella's business proposals.

Cruella crescent rage is underlight by the sounds effects of thunderclaps and it is Anita who says the final “no”.

“All right, keep the little beasts. Do what you like with them. Drown them, for all l care! You’re a fool, Anita! l’ve no use for fools. You’re fired! You’re finished! You’ll never work in fashion again! l’m through with all of you! l’ll get even! Just wait! You’ll be sorry, you fools! You idiots!”

When Roger and Anita refused to sell the puppies, Cruella's rage exploded as happened in the cartoon version (she screams and insults Roger and Anita, she tears the check into a thousand pieces and throws them in Roger's face), but let's remeber she is Anita's boss now: she uses her power and fired Anita's too, now that Anita and Roger refused to Cruella what she want, Anita become immediately useless. In fact Cruella has yet the design for her new outfit, from Anita needed only the puppies and if she cannot obtain them with good manner, well, as happened in the cartoon version, she will steal them.

In the previous part we saw how in the 101 Dalmatians of 1961, the car was the alter ego of Cruella, well, in this 1996 live action, her personality and her obsession is channeled into her outfits. Before it all goes to hell for the fashion maven, her rotation of zebra, leopard, and tiger print reveal she wasn't bluffing when she exclaimed of her fur obsession.

The costumes as designed by three-time Oscar winner Anthony Powell (co-designed with Rosemary Burrows) take Cruella's love of all things animal print to the extreme, delivering jaw-dropping results.

Cruella's entire life is a performance supported by her wardrobe, makeup, and hair. Cruella increases the level of red (it's the outburst of her bloody determination to obtain what se want, it's her mad passion for furs that determinated her end) during the climax with her fur coat of choice, which will soon be ruined by some farm animals. That smell is going to be hard to get rid of, and there aren’t any dry cleaners in prison.

As we saw in the previous part, Cruella's change of luck is well rapresented by her ruined clothes: she is going to jail, her life and career are over, her clothes aren't perfect and fancy anymore.

This happens also in the 102 Dalmatians live action of 2000: red clothing anticipates Cruella's criminal climax, while her ruined clothes are the sign of her defeat.

Nearly at the end of the movie, when her plans are finally reveled, Cruella wears a very unique red “flames” dress: the bodice is organza and silk satin beaded, sequined with a beaded net collar. The skirt is silk satin and nylon net beaded and sequined, lines in ostrich feathers. The headdress is tiered flames made of mirror, metal and painted glass. While her attire during her final metch with the Dalmatian is a black dress with large shoulders that recall Balenciaga, a black lather waist belt and a Gothic necklace with rubies, pearls and diamonds. The fur coat is floor-length black and red, while her headdress is a little hat with black and red feathers.

(See here for references: X and X)

4 - Cruella in Once Upon A Time

More recent version of Cruella can be founded in the ABC TV show Once Upon A Time. I will not make a summary of the themes of the TV because it has a very complex plot and that is not relevant for our comparison. So, let's say only that is a show who feature the adventure of Emma Swan, Snow White (Ginnifer Goodwin) and Prince Charming (Josh Dallas)'s daughter, and her biological son Henry (who was adopted by Regina Mills, the Evil Queen, now mayor of Story Brook) to break the magic curse that turned Enchanted Forest to a modern day Maine town called Storybrook, in which live all the characters from the popular fairy tales we know from Disney adaptations, unaware of their true identities.

Cruella is introduced in Season 4. The evil Rumpelstinskin (Robert Carlyle) recruited her and some other evil lady to regain his Dark Lord magic powers and take his revenge on the people of Storybrook as well as his happy ending.

The first we saw Cruella is at her ungodly hour: she is divorcing from a guy called Mr. Feinberg, strongly in debt and FBI is repossessing her husband's belongings, including her fancy fur coats, her big mansion in Long Island, New York, and her other goods. (See here for references: X)

Cruella plays little importance in the plot, until the Author is released from the book; unable to kill him herself, she pretends to threaten Henry Mills's (Jared S. Gilmore) life to force Emma (Jennifer Morrison) and Regina/Evil Queen (Lana Parrilla) to do so. However, Emma confronts her, not knowing the restriction the Author placed on Cruella, and magically blasts her off a cliff to her death.

The actress chosed to play Cruella de Vil is Victoria Smurfit and her appearance recalls more the 1961 version than Glenn Close. She wears a black night gown with paillettes or little pearls, long red PVC gloves and a white fur coat, but drives her black and white 1974 Panther Deville. However, during the show she is seen also wearing leather black pants, red boots matching with her gloves and several different types of fur coats. Cruella's phone case has dalmatian spot patterns.

Rumplestiltskin/Mr. Gold snarkily remarks that he recognized Cruella's scent as “desperation and gin”, somewhat suggesting or implying that Cruella is an alcoholic of sorts. Cruella later confirms this, having blamed her misfortunes on “bad judgment and gin”.

Unlike her other version, this Cruella has some a very limited magic powers, and has only been known to accomplish a few specific spells. Her most remarkable power is the ability to control any animal, whether it be a Dalmatian or a Dragon. The green smoke that comes out of Cruella's mouth when she uses persuasion magic on animals is designed to reflect Cruella's green and yellow cigarette smoke in Disney's 101 Dalmatians.

Her other main power is a very limited telekinesis: Cruella is able to enchant her car to drive itself around.

In the 5 Season, after her death, Cruella ends up in the Underworld, a purgatory run by the deity Hades (Gregory Germann). She makes a deal with Hades, who offer her to rule Underworld in his absence and help trap the heroes there. Delighted with the idea of getting to torment souls for eternity, Cruella agrees to the deal. This makes even more evident the similarities with the goddess Hela from Norse Mythology, as both ruled the underworld and have half-black half-white hair.

However, the most important episode about Cruella is “Sympathy for the Devil”, in which we learn about her true story.

"Sympathy for the De Vil" Season 04, Episode 18

In 1920s England, a young and blonde Cruella De Vil (played by Milli Wilkinson as child and Victoria Smurfit as adult) is being mistreated by her mother Madeline (Anna Galvin) as she instructs her Dalmatians to chase her daughter, and is locked in the attic in the same setting that resembles the 1979 Gothic novel Flowers in the Attic by V. C. Andrews. The room where Cruella is locked up is filled with her mother's dog statuettes and dog show trophies. Fast forward to several years later, and that a reporter, who is revealed to be the Author (Patrick Fischler) but is using an alias by the name of Isaac Heller, is paying a visit to the home pretending to seek out a story after having seen Cruella from the attic, only to have Madeline warning him to stay away. Isaac returns and helps Cruella escape from the attic. He then takes Cruella out for a date that includes dinner and dancing. Cruella reveals to Isaac that the reason she was kept in the attic was that she witnessed her mother kill her father and her succeeding husbands; Isaac then reveals to Cruella that he was more than just a reporter and has the ability to use his pen and ink to create magical stories. Isaac proposes that they run away together, and uses his quill and ink to give Cruella her persuasion powers to control animals.

(See here for references: X, X, X and X)

However, for Isaac, his future with Cruella would later take a unique twist that will put his future in danger. When Madeline pays a visit to see him, she tells him that Cruella had lied to him about what actually happened to her husbands: as child Cruella killed her own father, Madeline's first husband, by putting a poisonous flower in his tea. Cruella was a troubled child and her parents had hoped she would grow out of her disturbing behavior. But after Cruella murders her father, her mother fears that Cruella's murderous tendencies will get worse and will become a full fledged serial killer. Not wanting anyone else to get hurt or killed by Cruella and not wanting her daughter to go to prison, Madeline had no choice but to lock her Cruella away from the outside world and keep her close to try to snap Cruella out of her disturbed mind. However Madeline's intentions were in vain as Cruella ended up poisoning her next two husbands. Terrified that Isaac will set her daughter free and start killing more people, Madeline warns Issac to stay away from her, because she is dangerous and can not be saved, while Isaac doesn't believe her, Madeline tells Isaac that Cruella takes everything someone loves and destroys it and tells him to stay away from her or he will suffer the same fate as her two husbands and lose all he holds dear.

(See here for references: X)

When Madeline returns home, Cruella was ready for her, and eventually kills her mother by controlling her Dalmatians and commanding them to attack her.

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Afterwards, Isaac discovers that Cruella has stolen his pen, and goes back to her house to find out that Cruella used her ability to control animals to make her mother's pet Dalmatians turn against her and rip her to shreds, before Cruella herself slaughtered the Dalmatians and made a fur coat out of them.

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«Some people struggle not to be drawn into the darkness. But ever since I was a little girl, I've said... "Why not splash in and have fun?"», says Cruella to an astonished Isaac.

Horrified, Isaac makes a dash for the pen to stop her, but during a struggle the magic ink is spilled onto Cruella. She accidentally ingests some and the ink shows her true colors. As Cruella is about to kill him, Issac uses his powers as the Author to make it so that Cruella can never kill anyone ever again by writing it down on a piece of paper "Cruella De Vil can no longer take away the life of another." As he leaves, Cruella tells him she's not done.

Cruella kept this secret, as intimidation would still work for her needs.

This episode have a lot of Disney reference to the old 1961 version of 101 Dalmatians:

Madeline's car is similar in design and color to Cruella's car from One Hundred and One Dalmatians.

The song that Cruella hears on the radio is a jazz instrumental version of the song "Cruella De Vil", from One Hundred and One Dalmatians.

Ink spills on Cruella, just like Cruella spilled ink on Roger Radcliffe and Pongo in the movie. (One Hundred and One Dalmatians, 1961)

When Cruella uses persuasion magic, the magic comes out of her mouth in the form of green smoke, which is designed to reflect the green and yellow cigarette smoke that Cruella puffs in the movie. (One Hundred and One Dalmatians, 1961)

This 1920s version of Cruella de Vil we see in Once Upon a Time is inspired by Zelda Fitzgerald, the wife of writer F. Scott Fitzgerald. Interestingly, in "Sympathy for the De Vil", Isaac can be seen reading F. Scott Fitzgerald's novel The Great Gatsby. While he is captive in Mr. Gold's cabin, Isaac reads F. Scott Fitzgerald's The Great Gatsby. And largely recall what we already saw of Cruella's original version in the book by Dodie Smith: Cruella is a cruel serial killer. She is smart and manipulative, shows no empathy and emotions and uses people for her own needs. She uses Dalmatians as her own weapons to take her revenge on her mother: she turned her own dogs against her and finally removes the last obstacle to her own freedom. Is important to notice that Cruella slaughters and skins the Dalmatians to create a new dalmatian fur coat for her own, that wears victoriously under Isaac horrified eyes. The Dalmatian fur coat is her trophy. Killers like to take trophies and souvenirs from their victims. Keeping some memento — a lock of hair, jewelry, piece of clothing, newspaper clips of the crime — helps prolong, even nourish, their fantasy of the crime or to relive the crime over and over in their minds. Cruella at the end fully reveals herself as the serial killer she is.

When Cruella drinks accidentally Author's ink that transforms her hair black and white, is another reference to the novel The Hundred and One Dalmatians by Dodie Smith, in which is said that Cruella used to drink ink as a child. The dress Cruella is wearing at the jazz club is the dress Bérénice Bajo wears in the the famous 2011 comedy-drama film The Artist. Also the dancing scene between Cruella and Isaac recalls the one between Bérénice Bajo and Jean Dujardin, when play the role of actors Peppy Miller and George Valentin filming a ball scene for a mute movie.

Conclusion

As we saw, all the version of Cruella that were developed time by time, still share the characteristics of a sadic, cruel villaness.

Glenn Close version of Cruella doesn't care about animals' lifes, doesn't care about workers rights or other person's life projects. She uses creepy hanchmen to obtain what she wants, she steals and plot the death of even rare animals for their fur. She uses and manipulates people.

Victoria Smurfit's Cruella is a real serial killer. She is selfish, cunning, manipulative and the violence against animals is just a moment on her murderous revenge on her mother: she used Madeline's pretious dogs to kill her and then kept their skins as souvenir, as serial killers do.

There's no doubt that all those versions of Cruella are evil and Disney simply can not create any positive emotional connection with a woman who murders dogs. It's simply impossible to explain why Cruella hates dog in a way that can justify abuse toward animals. That is why this Cruella movie with Emma Stone is a huge mistake.

As conclusion, I will borrow again the words of composer Bill Lee from the 60s animated version of 101 Dalmatians to say what I think of trailer with Emma Stone as Cruella:

This vampire bat, this inhuman beast

The world was such a wholesome place until

She ought to be locked up and never released

Cruella, Cruella de Vil

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whatifxwereyou · 3 years

Text

Firestorm Part 3: Cross Your Heart

Fandom: Mortal Kombat 2021 Liu Kang x Reader

If you would like to be tagged for Firestorm when I post, let me know.

A/N: Almost forgot today was post day. Really enjoyed writing this one. Liu is just aldkjfwljaflj gah. Thank you guys for reading. Love you. Have a good weekend!

The Oncoming Storm Previous Chapter Next Chapter Chapter Index

Laying around and doing nothing would have been torture. Even with the storm raging as it was that day, your mind was too hectic to sit and listen. Too much had happened. The truth was that you were too exhausted to do much else either. Chen had lingered for a few minutes but had ultimately returned to her duties without saying so much as a word about what had so angered her. Deciding to work within your limits, you walked down the hall and to a small, covered balcony near the stairwell. It wasn’t much, just a stone archway leading onto a dusty platform that overlooked the ravine but it would do.

You’d meditate and the change of scenery would be nice. Raiden had told you to wait until you were feeling more yourself, but you decided to get a head start. It wasn’t that you didn’t want to wait, it was just that you no longer had faith that it was going to get better. What if it just kept happening? What if you kept getting sicker and sicker until you became a shell of yourself?

You couldn’t wait for better. You had fought too hard to come this far and fail.

You weren’t allowed to anything else, after all.

Doctor’s orders.

So you closed your eyes and meditated.

Meditation just became fantasizing about Liu Kang guiding you through meditation which may have been the silliest, most benign fantasy you’d ever had. It still helped to ground you but unconsciously the act had become associated with him.

No. No Liu Kang.

Meditation.

Once you got over the mental distraction that was Liu Kang, you managed to ground yourself. Meditation had been something that had brought you peace for years. As a kid you had relied on it heavily after losing Kung Lao. Even as you managed to find calm, your heart was beating still far too hard and too fast but it was world’s better than it’d been before you sat down. You were sure that if it had been a real problem then Chen never would have left you alone. It probably wasn’t even as fast as you thought. Just faster than you were used to.

As you opened your eyes and watched the rain fall, catching in streams over the side of the balcony, you wondered if you could force a vision. It seemed such a simple idea but you had never once tried to have one on purpose. It was kind of funny now that you thought about it. You’d always been afflicted with them. It had never been a gift and it had never been helpful until today. You shook ‘never’ from your mind and decided that you had to try.

It was a bad idea. You knew that. Bad things happened when you had them but if you didn’t try then you wouldn’t get control over them either. And besides, you would rather those bad things happen only to you and not to those you cared about.

You would try.

There was a significant chance that it wouldn’t work anyway considering that you had no idea how to make it happen or how to start. Your arm stung and you rotated your shoulder again. It was such a pain in the ass now. But you had faith that Raiden would find a way to help you get rid of it or at least keep it from getting any worse.

Deep breaths.

The throbbing in your shoulder was a rhythm you could focus on.

Pattering of rain muted to a dull sound, like distant tapping on a kettle. The sound grew quieter and quieter until it was gone.

It was dark and the weightlessness was unsettling. The room in front of you was odd and you couldn’t place it. A warehouse maybe? It was too dark to tell. There was light filtering in from somewhere to your left but it was cold and blue. The moon, probably. Everything was rushing around you, like smeared paint. Then you heard voices but the words were fuzzy.

You could make out an accent at least. An Australian accent, the kind you’d always been fond of. Even without words you could tell the man was confident, probably overly so. It was bordering on arrogant. There were two figures and they were struggling and then darkness spread beneath them.

Blood pooled and spread, far more than should have been in any one human. The figure that had come out victorious was looking right at you but his face was obscured and twisted. But the rest of him you could see and blazing in the darkness, a brilliant light on his neck.

The dragon mark.

He was a cruel man. A cruel man who had murdered in cold blood and it had resulted in him bearing the mark that would destine him to fight. The scene faded like someone had poured a bucket of paint over it. Your head was pounding and pain radiated through the back of it and down your neck. You had to focus.

You were seeing things, you just weren’t sure what they were or what they meant. His voice had seemed familiar. Had you seen this man before? You hadn’t ever met anyone from Australia before. Perhaps it had been from an earlier vision.

“Y/N!”

The voice called from behind you but you turned and it was like whiplash. Your body fell through the darkness and the sound echoed away into nothingness like the rain. Before you was a crowd of people and they surrounded a cage with two men fighting within it. They were shouting encouragement to the fighters within. An MMA match, maybe? You weren’t sure.

The crowd parted like the angry sea for you. You watched the two men within beat on each other but they were moving too slowly. Their faces, much like the faces of the other men in the warehouse or wherever it had been, were obscured. Hauntingly so. Their features smudged away by unseen hands.

But then there was the light of the dragon mark on the chest of one of the men. He was bloodied up.

Chicago.

You didn’t know why but you knew you were in Chicago. There were no signs that you could make out on the walls and the voices you heard were garbled and strange. It was as though you were underwater and the sound was distorted. Even the movements of the crowd and of the fighters were slowed.

A shadow grew on the other side of the cage. A shadow that spread like roots from a tree. You could hear crackling, like low static from an old radio but it became louder and more like fire.

That was what it was.

Fire.

Flames burned amidst the shadow and rose brightly within it. Inside the flames was the silhouette of a man. You tried to step back from the intimidating presence but your feet were firmly stuck beneath you. Had you stumbled too far into your vision? Were you getting more than you’d bargained for?

The man looked at you, bathed in shadow, hooded. He stared at you with white eyes. Then he took a step closer and the crowd froze along with the fighters in the ring. Fear left you frozen too.

“Y/N!”

The voice was calling to you again but you couldn’t place it.

Gasping suddenly for breath you shot upright from where you’d been laying. Your heart was racing and you grasped your chest and tried to take slower breaths than the ones panic was forcing you to take. Where was the balcony? This wasn’t it. Where were you? Oh. Oh wait.

It was your room.

Relief.

Okay.

You hiccupped trying to take deep breaths and found Liu Kang seated on your bed next to you, elbows on his knees, watching you. He’d been calling to you. It was unmistakable now. You’d heard his voice through your vision.

“Oh, god, Liu…” You were exasperated at the sight of him. “Did I hurt you again?” This was becoming abuse if you had. You laid back down, feeling your head spinning and Liu helped you do so. Sweat was dripping over your face, trickling down your forehead. Your heart was beating out of your chest. You placed a hand over your heart and swore it was going to leap right through it. What a horrible feeling.

“No, Y/N. Not at all.” He looked surprised that you’d be worried about him right now. He placed his hand on your cheek and then checked your eyes as though you’d struck your head again. “I found you outside, unconscious. You wouldn’t respond to me. I was about to bring you to the infirmary. Were you…” He looked to be filled with both relief and worry. You couldn’t blame him.

“I was having a vision.”

“Are you okay?”

“I think so?” You weren’t sure but you didn’t feel like you’d hurt yourself. Maybe you’d start laying down from now on when you tried. “I saw two men with the dragon mark.” You pinched the bridge of your nose while you tried to hold onto the little details.

“Should we call Raiden?”

“No, no it’s not urgent. I’ll write it down and tell him later. I was just… don’t be mad.” You offered a nervous smile and leaned up on your elbows. “I was just trying to get control over… well, anything.” You laughed. It had worked. You had no idea how you’d done it or what exactly you’d seen but you’d done it. You felt like crap but ink hadn’t exploded from you. You hadn’t hurt anyone but yourself. According to Liu, you weren’t even having a fit. You’d been unconscious.

You’d take that as a win.

It was a huge improvement.

“I thought that maybe if I tried to have a vision instead of being forced into one then maybe it would be less devastating.”

“Y/N…” Liu couldn’t have looked more concerned. He didn’t have to say it. You could just tell. “You should have told me. Or Lao. That’s not something you should do alone. It’s dangerous. You could have gotten seriously hurt and no one would have been there to help you.”

“I considered that, Liu, but I need to be able to handle this on my own. You won’t always be with me and I don’t… what if I hurt someone else? It’s different when it’s you. You’re a tough guy. You can handle it but what if… what if I hurt just… Chen or one of my friends? I’d rather it just be me.” You shivered. He smiled sympathetically; those dark eyes filled with a strange admiration. He seemed to have more to say but he held his tongue. He bowed his head in understanding. You appreciated that he was trying, even if he was worried. You’d lived your whole life without him by your side and you needed your independence. He respected that about you and you were grateful for him.

“You’re freezing, Y/N.” He grasped your hand and brushed his thumb over the side of it You got the shivers, but not because you were cold. He had the gentlest and most thoughtful touch.

“Fever probably. This is the second vision today. I suppose I was sort of playing a dangerous game of chicken without thinking.”

“You were. Living very dangerously lately, Y/N. Dancing in lightning storms, for example.” His eyes sparkled and flickered up to yours before down to the prayer beads wrapped around his wrist. He’d been fiddling with them less. Interesting. “I heard about your vision earlier today.” Liu’s smile was soft, his lips just barely upturned. He leaned a little closer to you. “You saved a lot of people from what I hear.”

“I don’t want to take credit for that, Liu. I just saw. I didn’t do any saving.”

“Not taking credit for it doesn’t make it less true.” Liu was often wise in ways that you could never be.

“I’m assuming that you brought me back to my room?”

“Yes. I didn’t want you to be out in the rain. I was going to bring you to the infirmary but I wanted to give you a chance to wake up if it was a vision. I knew that’s what you would have wanted. I figured it was safe to bring you here. Raiden has a way of knowing when things are going catastrophically. He would have found you before I did if it had been something worse.”

You wondered if that was why he had come to you earlier. Had he sensed you’d seen something important? Or perhaps he had felt your panic and knew you’d been in trouble? You struggled to push yourself into a sitting position so Liu helped you do so. His hands were careful and gentle, strong and secure. It reminded you of when you had first arrived at the temple. He had taken such good care of you. You bowed your thanks and then scooted enough so that you could look out your window and watch the rain.

The storm raged on but the thunder was distant now. Rain and wind were kings. Raiden had told you to get control of your visions and your arcana if you wanted to survive and have a fighting chance. It was your only shot to live through this long enough to figure out your truth. You should tell Liu but that was a conversation for another time. He was worried enough. If it came up then you would tell him. No secrets.

He sat next to you before the window but he faced you, legs folded. You watched the rain and he watched you watching it.

“May I say something?” Liu placed his hand on your forearm. His fingers were stained with soot and the soot stained your arm. He was warm. Dramatically warmer than you and it sent a shiver straight through you. He smiled but it faded quickly. “Confess something, rather.” Oh, you hated the way he worded that. What did that mean? You couldn’t make any assumptions. He’d tell you.

“Of course you can, Liu.” You shivered again. Fuck it. Whatever he wanted to say, you would deal with the fallout afterward. Why were you always afraid of rejection? Liu retracted his hand and you immediately missed his touch. He scooted so he was just next to you and stared out the window like you did. He seemed to struggle to find his words.

“Kung Lao and I made a childish bet over which one of us would win your heart.” The words came out very matter-of-factly, like it was a simple thing. You did a double take. Of all the scenarios you’d been panicking about in your head, this was not one of them.

“Huh?” How were you supposed to process that? A bet? What did that even mean, exactly? How could they bet on something like that? You knew how but you didn’t understand.

“It’s stupid. I know. We called it off. No more bet but I still had to tell you that we did it.”

“So… wait, huh?” You laughed in disbelief, feeling a little dumb for not understanding. “I’m sorry, but you made a bet? On my feelings? Like… some terrible movie-style bet made at my expense? Two macho jerks betting on the feelings of another human?”

“If it makes it any better the stakes were just chores.”

“Wow, my feelings are worth chores.” You gasped in disbelief.

“I never felt good about it, Y/N, but it was… harmless. We figured that you were going to make a choice at some point anyway. I uh…” He was suddenly tongue-tied, a very funny thing to see happen to Liu Kang. Like he knew what he had to say but no matter how he spun it, it would come out wrong. “It wasn’t an excuse to trick you into doing anything like… that.” He was uncomfortable talking about romance. Oh no. It was adorable. Like he could be any cuter. “It was just a stupid bet. I couldn’t get it out of my head. It felt manipulative and… I’m sorry, Y/N.”

This had Kung Lao written all over it in capital letters. You could even hear the proposition in Kung Lao’s voice! You bet that he’d put Liu up to it.

“Kung Lao felt guilty too.” Liu was avoiding your eyes. You could see the guilt weighing on his shoulders. Ah, yes. You recognized it now. They had both appeared guilty as shit in separate circumstances. That explained that.

“And what exactly would I get out of this bet, hmm? Like… is someone going to do my chores? I feel like either way I would have won so… someone should be doing my chores.” You tapped your finger on his knee and he laughed in surprise.

“Y/N!”

“What, Liu? Am I supposed to be mad?”

“I thought you might be hurt by it and…” Liu drifted off and watching him drenched in guilt made you a little sad. It was sweet but also sad. He’d been so worried about your feelings getting hurt. If you hadn’t known him so well then it would have hurt but you did. He never would have intentionally done something to hurt you like that.

“Well, answer a question for me.” You were going to have a hard time asking it.

“Of course.”

“Has any of what… you’ve done or what’s happened between us… has it been because of this bet?” That came out easier than you’d expected. Good.

“No.” He answered very quickly and then laughed at himself. “I even held myself back a few times because of it.”

“Then why would I be mad?” You turned to face him, resting your arm against the wall next to the window. “I mean, it does give me some clarity. It explains the few times I noticed you both looking guilty without reason and… the hesitating… some weird behaviors.”

“I’m sorry, Y/N.” He picked up your hand and held it close to him. Yeah. He was definitely sorry. “I’m… confused that you aren’t angry. I expected you to be at least a little bit.”

“Did you know that the monks in the infirmary are betting on which one of you that I end up with?” You were immune to people in the temple betting on your feelings these days. Maybe if the stakes had been you fucking them it would have felt different, but that hadn’t been the case. Liu clearly did not know they were betting on you in the infirmary, judging by the wide-eyed stare he gave you. You nodded to confirm that it was true and he looked away in disbelief. “It seemed to me like everyone except for me is making a profit off of my feelings. All I get to do is agonize over said feelings.” He laughed. You looked to him in mock aghast.

“It’s funny, Y/N.”

“Yeah, I guess it is a little funny.” You chuckled. Liu’s laughter faded and so did his smile.

“You’re really not angry?”

Wow, you thought you were the overthinker of the bunch.

“Did you fake any of it?” You nervously listed off the incidents on your fingers. “The touches… the close calls? The uh…” You couldn’t believe that you were talking about this so plainly. “The kisses?”

“I don’t think that can be faked, Y/N.”

“Then yeah, I’m not mad.”

“…I’m surprised. I was nervous to tell you.”

“…do I come off as particularly difficult to deal with? I mean other than the visions and the ink stuff.”

“No, it’s not that but…” Liu’s nervous laugh was quiet and cute. “I suppose that I don’t know you well enough to know how you’d react to something like that. And I felt terrible about it from the very beginning. I think that I built it to be something bigger in my head than it actually was.” Liu adjusted the prayer beads from his palm to his wrist again and you admired him as he did. It was kind of nice to see someone besides you a little nervous for once.

“...would you like me to pretend that I’m mad? Would that help? I can stomp around and huff and throw a fit about it. We can have a little pretend fight before I have a change of heart and understand why you did what you did, etcetera.” You suggested with a smile. Liu considered this and looked away but you could see a smile beneath his serious expression.

“That could be fun.”

“I’m really not mad, Liu.” You chuckled and rested your hand on his forearm. His posture shifted back to his usual confidence. “I might pretend that I’m a little mad until Kung Lao tells me though.”

“Oh, please do. This was his idea. Give him a taste of his own medicine.”

“It stunk of Kung Lao.” You gave his arm a squeeze. “Thank you for being honest with me.”

“It’s a huge weight off of my chest.” Liu beamed. You’d never seen him with such a goofy grin on his face. It was charming. “Are you hungry?”

“Umm…”

“Food. Are you hungry? Want to grab a bite to eat with me?”

“I’m not super hungry, but yeah, I should probably eat.”

“I can grab some food and bring it back here. You should be resting after today.”

“I’m fine to go to get food, Liu.” You smiled at his insistence.

“I’m happy to, Y/N. Then it can just be the two of us.” He practically bounced off of your bed and toward the door. You watched him in delight and then rested back against the wall. “I’ll be right back with food. Don’t try to have any more visions, okay?”

“I promise.” You laughed and watched him leave. Then you pulled the blankets around your shoulders, still freezing. Today had been a lot to process. Two visions. One had saved lives; the other was vaguer and more confusing. Either way, you hadn’t exploded with ink or hurt anyone but yourself and that was an improvement. Then there were those little sneaks, Kung Lao and Liu Kang. Making bets behind your back!

You’d been taken off guard but Liu had softened the blow. He had this way about him. Besides, what made their bet so much different from the bet that the monks had in the infirmary? There was no point in being angry about it. It’d only hurt you more. You had enough going on and in the span of things it didn’t seem so important. In fact, it was kind of funny. You were just glad that it had ended before anyone’s feelings had gotten hurt.

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@shang-hung (lol i wasn't sure if you meant you wanted to be tagged or not so I guess here you go?? Let me know if you want me to take you off!)

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