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#and that is the same night ''so long nerds'' was uploaded
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been getting back into mother 3 after All That and every time i see the sunflower field im like. whoa. that's so neat. i am Not overthinking it !
#i am just making this post to ramble about the sunflower thing again kjfhdg#it's almost been a whole year. i was in the middle of replaying mother 3 last june#i was at the sunflower field scene and decided to stop playing for the night#and that is the same night ''so long nerds'' was uploaded#not to be dramatic or cliche or whatever but. feels very ''on purpose'' ya know#destiny or whatever#the game was a huuuuuuge turning point for me in coping with life and death which i was. Very Bad at before!#and im sure you can tell i still am *(@&*(&*%(&^*#i havent been able to touch the game since but im getting better at it. been watching some videos n stuff about it#i still havent picked it back up tho. idk if i can sit through that cutscene again#i already kinda associated techno with sunflowers bc of the whole rising sun stuff. the staff being a sunflower#but the fact that i was in the middle of that part of mother 3 made that association so much worse#now they're just like. the death object for me. remembrance flowers. idk actual flower meanings but that's what they are to me now#idk if anyone remembers this post but like a week or two after his death my aunt tried growing a sunflower#it was unrelated to me and that whole thing. just another coincidence#she passed this week. so the sunflowers are really back on my mind rn#that's why i turned off the inbox was bc i really didnt know what to do after that#her whole side of the family died this past year#i hate to vent or whatever but i feel like if i dont mention it i'll explode so i've buried this under many other tags#congrats if you read this far i just wanted to have that out there i guess bc i've talked about her a lot#the cats are fine if you remember them. orangey has a home and my uncle is watching thomas#grief#grief cw#i dont remember what ppl tag that as#chat#i'll probably delete this later but im also gonna reblog all the cats n stuff again bc i just want ppl to see them
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greypetrel · 15 days
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Fanfic Writer Questions
Tagged by @melisusthewee, and at least another person. I'm sorry if I ignored the tag, I was away and it's a busy period, let me know ;_;
Tagging forward: @ndostairlyrium @shivunin @inquisimer and YOU who are reading and would like to do it!
1. How many works do you have on AO3? 12, right now.
2. What's your total AO3 word count? 497,183 ... I'm chatty.
3. What fandoms do you write for? Dragon Age, and a crossover with LOTR/The Silmarillion.
4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?
Home Was Never on the Ground (long fic, concluded, it's anthological and mainly me filling blanks in DAI as inspiration stroke)
She of Many Names (ongoing, a LOTR/Dragon Age crossover. A follower on Instagram asked me if Aisling was Sauron, the idea made me laugh so much that my mind took fire.)
Saturday Prompts (a collection of prompts I posted here. I never uploaded every one of them, oops)
Death and All of Its Friends (ongoing, a DA2 collection)
The Night Before First Day (Two chapters, concluded. One it's in rhyme and illustrated. Aisling taught her daughter that the Dreadwolf is Santa out of spite. Solas tries to disapprove.)
5. Do you respond to comments? Yes, always!
6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? I do love angst, but I don't like angsty endings all that much ahahahahah. I think the one that gets closer, in a bitter-sweet way, is One for the Road. Call me a sucker for rare-pairs, this was also prompted here and my brain took fire (LavellanxFenris)
7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? The Night Before First Day. Listen I'm not a Christmas person, I turn into a seasonal depressed Grinch at Christmas, living in a catholic country doesn't help, and that is my way of giving myself some joy.
8. Do you get hate on fics? Not that I know of.
9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind? Not any that I publish.
10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written? Yes I do. She of Many Names is a Dragon Age and LOTR crossover. I love it dearly, I'm slow to update it because I have the greatest love for Tolkien (with all his flaws, but my brain rewired when I saw the first movie, and the book has been my entire personality for two years. I wouldn't be the same person without it) and I do care of rendering it as I want.
11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? ... Not that I know of? I hope not, ahahahah :"D
12. Have you ever had a fic translated? If you consider that English is not my first language, all my fics are translated? xD Other than that, no.
13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? No, but I'd love to.
14. What's your all time favorite ship? EowynxFaramir, hands down. Out of pure lenght. Maybe LeiaxHan Solo (my parents are both nerds, I think my mom made me watch Star Wars the first time... I don't remember, the vhs were always around in the house. I was very, very little.)(we don't talk about the sequel trilogy.)
15. What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? I tried to write a third chapter for the aforementioned One for the Road... But it ends up in a love triangle and I don't like love triangles that aren't a poly relationship. So, it's sitting in my folder and I'll never finish it. I was considering ditching the second chapter and rewrite it as a "Aisling as a companion in DA2" fic... But MEH.
16. What are your writing strengths? I think dialogue. I am trained as a comic artist, which means that the writing parts that get polished are dialogue. I have much more experience with that. ... I am also terrible at judging my own work in a positive way, tho, so you tell me.
17. What are your writing weaknesses? English not being my first language and leading to mis-spellings. Other than that... I started writing fanfiction after YEARS of not writing anything in prose that wasn't screenplays for comics (which follows different rules). Since I stopped because of being hurt by it, I went on to it by not planning stuff.
I'm rusty with prose, and my retelling -the first thing I tackled- clearly had little planning ahead.
18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? It's a no, for me, unless you specifically wants your audience not to understand what's being said and create a sense of isolation and of not knowing what's going on. A sentence here and there with a translation is fine. But if it's something long... You want the reader to understand well. Italicized text it is.
19. First fandom you wrote for? I wouldn't call it a fandom, but: Greek Mythology. I drew a parody comic of the Iliad in my first high school year, alongside friends. It had been so fun. I also wrote, still in high school, something heavily inspired by Eragon, which only my friends had the pleasure of reading. (I'm only saying it involved my now most hated trope: THE SECRET TWIN.)
20. Favorite fic you've written? The next one.
I'm very invested in Ashes and Sparks, aka the Dreadwolf AU. I'm putting ideas in it and going fully canon divergent and writing it as I would like Inquisition to have gone. No Corypheus, more crazy tevinters, and the focus ON FUCKING TIME TRAVEL.
In a modern setting because yes.
It's also tackling something I absolutely hate in fiction when it's done wrongly, which is time travel, and I'm sweating and hoping I'll do it with logic. It's something niche and not so focused on a single ship, so probably it'll interest only me, but I'm happily writing and trying to contain myself from posting chapters of more than 10k.
Blank Form Under the Cut
1. How many works do you have on AO3?
2. What's your total AO3 word count?
3. What fandoms do you write for?
4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?
5. Do you respond to comments?
6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?
7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?
8. Do you get hate on fics?
9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?
10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?
11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?
12. Have you ever had a fic translated?
13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?
14. What's your all time favorite ship?
15. What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?
16. What are your writing strengths?
17. What are your writing weaknesses?
18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?
19. First fandom you wrote for?
20. Favorite fic you've written?
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dujour13 · 1 month
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⭐ for The Prodigal Tiefling?
Thank you Crow!! 💕💕 hehe another chance to ramble
Since I answered another ask for the side-fic The Prodigal Tiefling I’m brazenly going to use this one for the chapter by the same title in The Lark and the Crow.
This is one of the very earliest chapters I wrote before having any intention of uploading anything, so it’s a bit creaky but dear to me.
First of all giggling maniacally while writing Woljif in hot water with the Baphomet cultists, who are not exactly the sharpest daggers in the demonic ritual DIY kit, lucky for Woljif. He has them running red-herring errands to try to keep them from sacrificing Deval:
“Now you’re talkin’. First, you need the right kinda altar. This half-baked scraped-up pentagram just won’t do. It’s gotta be granite; big slab, you know, to catch all the blood. Next, you gotta have the right kinda knives: Abyssal uh, obsidian. Dipped in the blood-rain of the Worldwound on the night of an eyeball storm. And it’s gotta be the right timing.” He looked up at the stars for a long moment, making mystic calculations. “When the moon is in retrograde.”
I’m sorry I’m such a nerd but I made myself laugh with the moon in retrograde thing. Truly the blind leading the blind.
This is an important character moment for Siavash. He finds Woljif and almost weeps with relief, but doesn’t miss a beat with “Hail Baphomet.” These two’ll be partners in crime in no time. And Woljif is more than impressed when to back it up he pulls an actual succubus out of nowhere and the cultists immediately decide this guy is ok.
Next a little interlude written much later gives a glimpse into Siavash’s loneliness as Knight-Commander and how much he valued Woljif’s company before he disappeared. This is a direct echo of my own desperate search in my first playthrough of the game. (I didn’t want to take Drezen without him. I looked everywhere. I cried. Siavash cried. Google didn’t help. It was awful. Eventually realized you have to take Drezen first.) This brings us back to his emotion in the present.
For narrative sake the chapter then goes straight into the confrontation with Voetiel. I re-wrote my own version of the dialogue, partly because I hadn’t taken screenshots (not intending to upload the fic) and partly because it was just fun.
I kind of enjoyed ending the battle with “Darkfang” the cultist and Deval rolling around on the ground trying to kill each other. I feel like Baphomet cultists are such a treasure trove of comedy.
But one of my favorite Woljif moments of all time in the game is how he tries to convince you that the only reason he went to so much trouble to save Deval from the cultists was because he didn’t want to be haunted by his ghost afterwards. This transparent lie is just everything I love about him.
And of course, most importantly, the aftermath is the occasion of Woljif’s very first hug of his whole life AAAAHHHHH
On the road back to Drezen there’s a chance for Lann and Woljif to pit their social philosophies against each other in camp:
The mongrel shook his head. “Listen. You don’t seem to get it. Hiding or running off when we’re fighting, stealing stuff, trying to get out of doing chores—think of what a disaster it would be if everybody acted like you. If everybody does their fair share, everybody’s better off. Don’t you see that?” “You wouldn’t last one minute on the streets,” Woljif shot back. “You give one green copper, play the hero one instant, show one weakness, and they’ll eat you alive. Hold the end of your tail in the fire ‘til you squeal. Haul you up and hang you by the horns. Horn. Whatever. You’re the one who doesn’t get it.”
Siavash might not strictly agree with Woljif here, but he’s sympathetic.
I kind of liked this little exchange when they arrive back in Drezen:
“Welcome to Drezen. Brand new city, ripe with opportunity.” Siavash surveyed the stinking heaps of rubble and demonic graffiti proudly. “Don’t mind the mess.” “Reminds me of the command tent,” Woljif muttered, not unhappily.
And then the flighty azata commander promptly gets sidetracked, and Woljif finds himself in a new city with nowhere to call home, and everyone else goes off and leaves him standing there. Resourceful as always Woljif finds his own way soon enough.
The chapter is a bit long and windy, but it’s about Woljif’s relationship with people—his understandable distrust and his sense that it’s him against the world, but also his secret generosity and need to be accepted.
It starts with Woljif alone against the cultists, and ends with him on his own again in Drezen. But in between he gets a taste of what looks a lot like real friendship: somebody who’s got his back unconditionally, somebody who has the smarts to pick up his cue and run with it. Somebody who gives nice hugs.
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vulto-cor-de-rosa · 10 months
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A year ago I had just woken up from a long night sleep when I resived the news.
I had a message of my best friend, the one that got me into the DSMP in the first place but that eventually moved on from it, asking what was going on and why was everyone saying that Techno had died.
"Did c!Techno die or something?"
I didn't believe it at first, I thought that I had lost a lore stream or something because the thought of Techno passing away didn't even cross my mind
I went on YouTube to check if I had lost a lore stream or not and then is when I saw "So long nerds"
I couldn't believe it. I started crying the moment that Technodad started speaking and after watching the entire video I responded to my friend a simple "No, cc!Techno did"
I spend a good 20 minutes in my room crying my eyes out until I eventually calmed down enough to the kitchen to get breakfast, and on my way there I pass through my older sisters room, who I thought that was still asleep, but she opens the door, takes a look at me and says that she had heard what happen. All my calming down was for nothing because the moment she said that I immediately broke down again
She hugged me and took me back to my room and we talked. I talked about how important he was for me, how much he made me laugh, how much he inspired me, how much he comforted me and I talked about how I never thought that this could happen. I was drawing him the night before for fucks sake
My sister listened to me and told me that she understood me, that when an artist that she liked died she reacted the same way, and that I wasn't weird or "parasocial" for me to feel this way.
Today marks one year since "So long nerds" was uploaded and when I broke down because of Tommy's video my sister was there to comfort me again.
I miss Techno a lot. The thought that it's been a year since that day is so surreal, even today is hard for me to realize that he is actually gone and not in a long break or something. Grief is something funny and it's ok to still feel sad after a year, two years or even seven years have passed. But you won't feel like this forever, things will get better.
He did so much for so many people, changed so many lives for the better, mine included. We should celebrate his life and keep his memory alive.
After all, Technoblade never dies 🎗
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asexualaxolotl · 10 months
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It's 3 in the morning. I'm laying in bed, ready to go to sleep.
But I want to talk about technoblade.
I dont remember how long ago it was, but I remember it was before he got floof. Me and my best friend were playing on some server called CloudMc. We were crossteaming on skywars, and we sucked. We moved to hypixel, and we sucked even more. Eventually, they told me about this one guy on YouTube. They said he was great at skywars, and that we should watch his videos to study his gameplay. Being the nerd I was, I thought that we'd be able to study it and get better. So, we watched a video. And then another.
When I went home that night and didn't think much of it. Next time I went over, I mentioned that youtuber. I had forgotten his name, so they showed me him again and we watched a few more videos. When I went home, I binged his skywars content. Alongside jaiden animations and theodd1sout, Technoblade was one of my favorite youtubers of all time. I kept watching him when he barely uploaded and loved each and every video he made. Eventually, this little thing called minecraft Monday popped up. "Oh, cool!" I thought. "Maybe techno will get a bit more popular from this! That would certainly be neat."
And so I watched
And God damn, did he get more popular.
"Technoblade never dies" was all over the place. Everyone knew him, and everyone feared him. It was fantastic. He continued to grow in popularity, and I couldn't help but love the newer stuff even more then the old. He started doing this little known thing called "actually uploading." To this day I still recall showing my aunt the great potato war, watching the first one (since it was the only one at the time) and explaining every little thing to her to make sure she loved it as much as I did.
And then, he was diagnosed. Now, little known fact about my previously mentioned friend: they had cancer aswell. To this day, they're still alive and kicking, so I thought that if they could survive, so could technoblade. I mean come on dude, it's fucking technoblade. This whole cancer thing was gonna turn into another joke in the community, just you wait and see.
When he died, I immediately cried. Very rarely does it only take me a few minutes to understand grief, but this was different. Nonetheless, it took about a week to settle in. I remember telling every friend I knew, even ones that didn't know. My cousin texted me the same day he passed and asked how I was taking the news. He knew that technoblade was important to me.
Technoblade was, and will always be, a hero. He was the first one to ever be famous and happy, and nothing will ever take away from that. He knew he was going to die atleast 6 days before he passed and continued fighting regardless. That motherfucker, he made merchandise to honor himself. He looked cancer in the eyes and told it that if he was going down, it was coming with him.
And thats fucking beautiful.
He was 100% my hero. He always was, and he always will be. Everything he did, everything he said, was brilliant. He was a genius and an amazing person, and I'm so glad I was able to live in the same world as him. Technoblades legacy is a symbol of what one person can do just by being themselves. He was smart, funny, and kind. And that got him so far in life.
Technoblade never dies. His community and his legacy are just as strong as he was. I will never forget the bravery that he had, and I doubt anyone else will.
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darkhalo4321 · 1 year
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I started to post a tweet, but it started to form a long rant and I felt Tumblr was the true home for it. SO- I love having a website for my comic. I REALLY DO. however, the amount of people I attract to that site is...
abysmal.
Mostly because not a lot of webcomic artists with sites do link exchanges like they used to and it feels like everyone's gotta be part of a "collective!" or something. Which... Technically I am part of a magical webcomic collective. called Aradia. It's a small community and while it's slowly gaining traction in it's own way, it's not Spiderforest or Hiveworks and it's not WEBTOONS either. I've been wrestling with the task of making a mirror for my webcomic on webtoons. Some people said "just post the pages! I don't get a lot of views, but it's whatever" My LITERAL THOUGHT when I was told to post my traditional format pages "as is" on a vertical scroll dominated site was "of course you don't have traction! THE FORMAT IS WRONG" I would be reformatting for vertical scroll, and it's full of unknowns. I've never uploaded on there. Will it splice and realign okay? What if I mess it up and it's posted wrong? What if the tone moires weird? What if what if what if... Anxiety. It's holding me back. "but darkhalo4321, what about drawing better? Doing color? Advertising for your webcomic's website??" hahaha oh silly made up audience member. I have done all those things and It's not gotten me far. Maybe if I worked HARDER, Maybe if I were a better ARTIST, Maybe if I had a better STORY, Maybe maybe maybe... I've restarted my comic to have a better story, better art, and worked harder as a result. It's not cutting it. 'm fighting a machine. I'M FIGHTING AN ALGORITHM and I'm losing. The idea of being on webtoons is to gain SOME new eyes on my work via their community and I have many friends on there who have said the canvas community is really nice. I've been very calm and chill the last few months but I'm thinking I've been stuffing those in a box and setting them aside. Today I'm unpacking them a bit. I'm not depressed or disheartened. I an genuinely happy for friends that are hitting some personal goals, excited even! I've been big on enneagram stuff, and when my type goes into the unhealthy types, I tend to look at others and feel... bad that my life is not at that point, so I've been keeping busy to not deal with those feelings and now I'm just venting on tumblr for no one to read/see. Which Is ANXIETY. It all boils down to anxiety. Thanks to my boss at work who is working to become an anxiety/life coach I've been learning how to identify what anxieties are tormenting me and how to handle it when they do. I've been inking pages like crazy and maybe the last minute unplanned stream I tried doing last night where no one tuned in made me sad because like, no one came to watch and my dead twitch account getting no views is what did me in to ranting on tumblr. XD In all reality... I could stand to try harder with getting my content out there, but at the same time, I don't have like any free time to be a content creator on 5 social media sites, one of which is slowly burning, and the other ones favor short form videos which I don't have the patience to make videos for anyways, and I don't really... WANT to anyways. I wanna go back to link exchanges and finding things through other comics and their likes and rinse and repeat... I'll end the rant here XD I'm okay, I promise. Gonna make a mirror for webtoons eventually. If it uploads funky then... so be it. The nerds can call me out I guess? Not that I even plan to check comments or metrics. I don't even look at the numbers for my site anymore because it's... eh. I have better peace of mind posting and running.
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seelestia · 1 year
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i mean tbf harry potter is always a delight to rewatch. my comfort childhood movie~
hljlasdjkasd you alright?? have you been sleeping enough??
lol he would!! and when you accuse him of thinking of doing nefarious things with the invisibility cloak he'll flash you that faux innocent pout, "whatever do you mean, dear? how could you accuse me of such a thing?" i can definitely heizou running everywhere investigating all the curious things in the school... probably unlocked the chamber of secrets on his second year lol
YAASSSS he had the best 'azaaaar!' in the cutscene out of all the versions hahah oh dw the day it comes out if i'm not busy with family matters i would be frothing on my tumblr, look forward to me making a fool out of myself hskdjkd RIGHT??? i would love a mechanic like that hahah imagine other interesting combos like ayato-ayaka, or zhongli-xiao, or even between all the archons!!
i got 100% exploration on 3 areas!!! but now i'm sick of mond scenery oof lol it was relaxing tho you're absolutely right the fact that i get to leisurely admire zhongli as he runs around is a huge plus too no but i get you!!! looking for the oculi is just frustrating esp. for inazuma and sumeru... i don't blame you for pulling out guides cause i would too lol
I SAW lol i already can feel my brother rolling his eyes at me like 'don't you have enough anemo characters????' lmao- i'm gonna reply him with a haughty 'lalala can't hear you peasants i'm too busy flying around' once i got my hand on him :p
i have a feeling al haitham is gonna be a jerk and make me use my cc but let's hope not...
oh yeah i figured you would hahah woo 80 fates let's go!!! he'll come home early to his beloved, i'm sure! <3 if he don't he probably got distracted by paperwork lbrh i would love to get him too but i shall keep my expectation low... yesyes BEST OF LUCK FOR US BOTH 🙏🏻
i wasn't able to watch 3.3 stream live but i hope you had fun!! i'll probably check out the uploaded video today with my brother hehe and omg yes pls remember my spirit will be with you when you wish, i'm cheering you on with my pompoms :3
hskdjskdjs pls don't crack my husband's joints /j but like. wouldn't your fiance's joints crack too since he's sitting on that desk of his doing his paperworks for like... what, 16 hours a day? /j
also, food and water reminder!!!! <3 <3 <3
it is! i can never get enough of the world building in that series like LET ME IN, I WANNA GO THERE (and then zoom out when voldemort arc comes /j) 😮‍💨 my comfort movies all happen to be stopmotion like coraline, corpse bride, and book of life. i'd recc coraline because it's spoopy with a sprinkle of whimsicality ✨ do you have any other comfort movies you'd recc, rin jie?? i'll deffo try watching them in my spare time >:)
that fake innocence and cheekiness is what makes ayato so frustratingly kissable <//3 do i pinch him or do i kiss him jfkefjeks ngl, this helped me realize how much of a tsundere i can be at times 🚶and so true, heizou's life is just full of interesting events LOLLL i have a feeling most of the teachers would be frustrated with him, pfft. but late night adventures with heizou and sneaking out together.... cries.
ALSO. tugging zhongli to sit down with you and have a movie night — but the moment you lay your head on top of his chest, your eyelids just flutter to a close. the man's chest could rival any other pillows fjekkfjeks and for me, i think heizou would absolutely enjoy movie nights like he is the type to nerd out about his theories or his thoughts on a movie's ending... and i'm just there, snoozing against him halfway through the movie. why pillows when you can sleep on your beloved's chest >>> (/lh)
dw, i'm alright! i'm just glad december is coming soon 🤧 and i think i'll be able to post my vaporize entry soon too! it went from a long fic to a more condensed version with the same concept, but i hope the progress will be smoother this time~ and this is an interaction i imagine between zhongli and his walking bank: "ah, mr. zhongli! before we go, i wanted to let you know that i... uh, didn't bring my wallet today." "...oh, i see." (no mora will be spent today, i'm afraid /lh)
ngl, i am a little eager to see alhaitham's drip marketing too because it is likely i'll pull on his banner for kaveh, so we'll see if i get to reach pity for the scribe or not fjejjdjke AND DO SEND ME SCREENSHOTS OF SCARA WHEN YOU GET HIM 👀 it's for... research purposes, yes. also because i like the way he can float upwards LOLLL calamities just fall from the sky these days... a huge rock of order and punishment, then air blades from an angy floating guy with a hat 🫡
the stream was so fun! because i let out the loudest yell into my blanket when i saw ayato on the 2nd phase banner. it was a cry of joy because yes, my months of farming will be worth it 😭 if ayato comes home early and i still have lots of wishes left, i might pull for ei because i really like her playstyle and i have the catch at r5, hehe. and ty for cheering me on, rin jie! take care while you're on your break, ok?? we'll wait for you <3
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bbtsficrecs · 2 years
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BTS fic recs. part 2 I’m sorry for the long wait, but here’s part 2 of some of my favorite bts fanfics. If you ever wanna talk about one of the fanfics or recommend me one, hit me up! Once again, remember to send some love to these amazing authors. Happy reading!
Part 3 will be uploaded soon, so be sure to follow me for the next recommendations!
⊹ Navi ‣ Part 1 ♡ Part 2 ♡ Part 3 ♡ Part 4 ♡
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I’m still sore from last night (fluff, smut) | Single Dad Jungkook AU, 2,3k @solarwonux “For a dad, you’re always horny. I thought having a kid would kill your sexual prowess.”
The art of wanting drabble (fluff) | Dilf!Jk, 1,2k @venusiangguk Gardening and pool day with dilf jk and baby nari
The art of caring (smut, fluff) | Dilf!Jk, 4,7k @venusiangguk Jk picks you up after a fight with your roommates… he and nari are better company anyway!!
The art of craving (smut, fluff) | Dilf!Jk, 6,9k @venusiangguk Jk takes you to a bbq at his friends house. the tri-tip is good but the creampie is even better.
The art of playing (smut, fluff, angst) | Dilf!Jk, 6,3k @venusiangguk Costumes are a must for jk’s work party… they come with the cutest heart-shaped cuffs… now what could they be used for? 🙄
The art of waiting (smut, fluff) | Dilf!Jk, 3,9k @venusiangguk Jks back from his business trip, and he’s wearing new pjs… you must get his face between your legs.
The art of doubting (smut, fluff-ish, angst) | Dilf!Jk, 17k @venusiangguk Seeds of doubt are planted and unfortunately they grow faster than love. things with jk fall apart.
Warm me up (fluff, smut) | Bf!Jk, @pjm-com When temperatures drop below 50 during camping, Jeon Jungkook’s body heat is what’s keeping you a live. But he wants you to do something in return.
Play date (fluff) | Dad!Jungkook, 1,7k @mercurygguk Jungkook finds your jealousy amusing and quite adorable.
In the frosty air (angst, fluff) | Roomate AU, 1,6k @gukyi Two weeks ago you and your roommate slept together. which would be fine, if you knew you both felt the same about each other. but you don’t. And now it’s Christmas, and Jungkook is still gorgeous and gentle and wonderful and here, and and you don’t really know what to do about that.
Chapstick (fluff, smut) | Bf!Jk 5,8k @softyoongiionly Jungkook’s had a really long day and the only that can make it better, is seeing you.
Stay (fluff, smut, angst) | Popstar!Jungkook, 8k @jungkxook Jungkook wasn’t always so madly in love with you but the fact that you’re sleeping with two of his band mates too makes things a tad bit complicated.
Risqué (smut, angst) 1 (on going) | Age gap AU,  9,2k @mercurygguk In which Jungkook realizes you’re not a 15-year-old girl with a silly crush anymore, but rather a seductive, young woman with her eyes set on him. you’re tempting but is it worth the risk for Jungkook?
Tantalizing (smut, angst) 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8 | College AU, 47k+ @littlemisskookie Back in high school, you were nothing more than a nerd Jungkook wanted to deflower, to get a good fuck from. When he sees you at the club, though, things have changed drastically, and his dominance starts to teeter on the edge.
Stay with me (fluff, angst) | (ex)Bf!Jk, 1,8k @bangtanfanficarchive It wasn’t realistic to try to keep going this new thing that you had over long distance. It wasn’t fair to you and it certainly wasn’t fair to him. There was so much that wasn’t fair about the situation you’d been forced into.
Cherries and vodka (fluff) | Friends to lovers AU, 697 @luvjimins Jungkook’s had his fair share of kisses, but god yours is the best he’s ever fucking had.
Idealizations concerning real life relations (angst!!, smut) | Fuckboy!Jk, 40,9k @venusiangguk Jungkook loves to be loved, but he doesn’t love in return.
The devil’s change up (smut, fluff) | Baseball player Jungkook, 41,3k @jungblue Majoring in athletic training means you have mandatory observation hours to perform with every single sports team at your school throughout the year, and so far it’s been going pretty great. However, when regrets from your past cause your rotation with the baseball team to become a little rocky, there’s one star pitcher who says that he can make it all better.
i hate you, i love you. (smut, angst, fluff) 1, 2, drabbles | Best Friends AU, 19k+ @jungblue You hated him at seven, warmed up to him at twelve, and liked him at fifteen. Now the two of you are twenty years old and inseparable best friends… and you’re absolutely in love with him; he’s in love too—just not with you.
Have A Nice Day (smut) | Doctor!Jk, 2,3k @lookingforluna With your doctor out of town you’re scheduled for a check up with a different doctor. The visit however turns into an unexpected one and you have no problem with that.
The Unsaid Vow (Prologue) (angst) (ongoing) | Yandere Husband Jungkook, 5,4k @chinkbihh You always knew when you weren’t wanted. And the way things are going in your marriage with Jungkook, a divorce is looking more and more likely. While he’s getting closer to a woman at work that you’re certain he’s having an affair with, you’re planning your escape with your four-year-old son. However, five years of marriage did not expose you to a certain side of your husband. A side of Jungkook that only gets triggered when you try to leave and break apart your perfect ‘family’.
Hurts good (angst, smut, fluff) | Idol!Jk, 3,3k @mercurygguk Jungkook stands you up after promising to take you out. You’re pissed at him but he makes up for it in all the right ways.
Forget me not | eoalh drabble (make sure to read all parts of eoalh first!) | Fuckboy!jk, 1,8k @jeonstudios Jeongguk thinks he’s bad at love.
Stoic (smut, angst) | Ceo!Jk, 4,2k @blue-jade You would rather continue listening to his constant lies and fake gestures of love than accept the fact that your husband was cheating on you.
Redemption (smut, angst) | Exes AU, 6,8k @blue-jade It’s been years since you and jungkook got a divorce and separated, and you’re both suffering in your individual ways. jungkook, still dealing with the consequences of his selfish and heartless actions, and you? you must tackle life as a single mother…
AURORA (angst, fluff) | Tae x reader, Jk x reader, 6k+ @krreader Dawn comes after the darkness, and with it the promise that what has been torn by the sea is not lost. - Lisa Wingate
MY FAULT (angst) | Idol!Jk, @krreader He hid you from the world, friends and family for two years, before you finally had enough. 
MY FAULT - THE AFTERMATH (angst, fluff) | Idol!Jk, @krreader You were desperately looking to put an end to yours and jeongguk’s relationship, since your break-up didn’t exactly give you closure. but where there’s an ending, there’s a beginning as well.
I SURRENDER (angst) | Idol!Jk, 2,3k+ @krreader There was no use in fighting for something that someone else was willing to throw away so easily… you had no other choice but to surrender.
Sharp Cookie (angst, smut, fluff) | Ex-boyfriend!Jk, 13,1k+ @minyfic When your ex-boyfriend, aka new boss, asks for a chance, you struggle to believe him when he says that he has changed his womanizing ways.
Fight for you (angst, smut, fluff-ish) 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8 | Bodyguard!Jk, 70k+ @ahundredtimesover Working at a private security agency has its perks. The downside? Being the personal bodyguard of spoiled, rich heiresses like you. But there are things that Jungkook didn’t expect, like rejecting you, falling for you, and realizing what he’d been missing all along. 
I can’t wait to tell you, I told ya (fluff, angst) | Bff!Jk, 16,2k+ @moon-write Jeon Jungkook is a successful realtor with a big house, nice car, colorful dating life, and a spunky 7-year-old daughter to boot…he’s also your best friend who you used to be in love with. Of course, he was never made aware because you swear it’s all in the past…until it isn’t. But going on a cruise with Jungkook and his daughter whom you adore should be harmless. Absolutely nothing can go wrong…Right?
Bewitch (smut, fluff-ish) | Idol AU, 2,7k+ @minyfic Jungkook misses you, he yearns for your touch, your smile, your body, but the virtual form of your presence would have to tame his impatience.
Run (smut, fluff, angst) 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7 | Arranged marriage/mafia AU, @neonlights92 Jeon Jungkook hops from bed to bed, sleeping with as many beautiful, rich women as he can possibly find time for.  He’s young and attractive, with a silver tongue that gets him practically anything he wants.  So when his friend and boss, Kim Taehyung, tells him it’s time to settle down, Jungkook takes it pretty badly.  And when he finds out that the woman he’s destined to marry is, in fact, his little sister’s best friend, he is less than impressed.
Bliss (fluff, smut) | Dilf!Jk, 3,7k+ @taegularities  Jungkook really, really wants to show you how deeply in love with you he is.
Endgame (smut) | Gamer/Boyfriend!Jk, 1,8k+ @blue-sidez Cock-warming your gamer bf 
D.va (smut, angst) | Boyfriend!Jk, 2k+ @minstrivia It’s a pretty important day for you but Jungkook doesn’t seem to think so. 
TO ALL THE MEN I’VE FUCKED BEFORE (smut, fluff, angst) | Fake dating AU, 30,7k @hisunshiine When your secret 'sex’ journal entries are somehow texted to the people they were written about, including a couple of coworkers and your best friend, you find your quiet work existence turned upside down. b´Based off of the Netflix film and novel by Jenny Han, but different.
Careful What You Wish For (angst, fluff) | Boyfriend!Jk, 4,5k @kookiesbuckethat After a tiring week of work, the last thing Jungkook wants to hear is you lecturing him about taking care of himself. But what if he could never hear your voice ever again?
Brain Dead (smut) | Dom!Jungkook, 1,3k @bts-bay-bee Bf Jk fucking your brains out
The Morning After (smut, fluff) | NoneIdol!Jk, 1,7k @jungkookiebus You wake up after a long (wink wink) night with your boyfriend Jungkook, and on this particularly lazy morning you take things slow and appreciate one another. 
DAMN THE DELIVERY BOY (smut, angst, fluff) | Expecting Parents AU, 9,6k @deerguk Jeon Jeongguk is a computer science major working as a pizza delivery boy, and you are an uninspired published author who has just started an art degree. When you realise that the delivery boy is your old high school crush, he keeps coming back, but with more to offer than just puff pastry and vegetarian supreme. Though little did he know that he would end up giving you something much more that flips both of your worlds completely upside down in the form of two blue lines and nine months.
GAMOMANIA (fluff, angst) | Childhood friends AU, 6,2k @army-author Your best friend has been proposing to you since preschool. Granted, he didn’t know what marriage meant at age four. But he certainly knows what it means now… 
Confession letter (angst) | Classmate AU, 1,2k @angelguk The one where you wrote jk a confession letter and slipped it into his backpack but he didn’t see it and a month later he’s confused as to why you’re now ignoring him when really you’d absolutely gutted because he rejected you without knowing.
Another Game (smut, fluff) | Bf!Jk, 2,2k @jjungkookislife During a break in his gaming with Taehyung, you join Jungkook on the couch. He offers to let you practice your aim, but an idea sparks in his head that involves the use of his controller for nongaming purposes…
A Simple Game (smut, fluff) | Bf!Jk, 4,3k @jjungkookislife The tables are turned when you are the one gaming and Jungkook just wants a little attention.
- TILL THE END OF TIME (smut, angst) | Boxer!Jk, 1,7k+ @kim-moonjoon What you had with him was wrong, a mistake, something that shouldn’t have happened, you know it. But you can’t help but fall back into his arms when he comes stumbling into your apartment late at night, begging for your comfort and warmth.
Show me where your love lies (smut, fluff angst) | Cheating AU, 4,1k @hollyhomburg Jungkook knows it’s wrong to sneak around with you behind his wife’s back. but with you he feels whole- he feels loved. And maybe you would feel guilty if she didn’t treat Jungkook like absolute shit. 
Are you going to stay? (angst, fluff) | Idol!Jk, 6,4k @hollyhomburg It’s been a year since he last saw you, and every day he misses you more. It was only a matter of time until he turned up at your door asking for another chance.
Neighbour (smut, fluff) | Neighbour!Jk, 4k @imagniation “you think I can afford a plumber?’ your endearing neighbour Jeongguk has magic hands that fix toilets and make you orgasm.
Euphoria (smut, fluff, angst) | Roommate AU, 7,6k @seokstrivia There was always a sign on Jungkooks’ door that said something along the lines of, ‘Warning; I am naked in here. Do not enter unless you’re ready to see a whole lot of dick.’   
Euphoria (smut, fluff, angst) | Time travel AU, 6k @btssavedmylifeblr​​ At the end of your life, you are given one day to live again with the man you loved. A lifetime’s love story told in a single day. 
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Based on a bet (angst) @mercurygguk “I can’t believe we’re dating just because of a bet”
“are you sure?” (smut, fluff) | Brother’s best friend AU, 2k @cutechim After breaking up with your first-ever boyfriend and gaining some much-needed perspective, you come to the realization that your ex was 1) a complete jerk and 2) terrible in bed. now, newly single, the world is your oyster—there are people to date, flings and sex to be had. but you’ve never been with anyone but your ex, so you decide to ask for a little help testing the waters, from a man you trust—who just so happens to be your older brother’s best friend.
AURORA (angst, fluff) | Tae x reader, Jk x reader, 6k+ @krreader Dawn comes after the darkness, and with it the promise that what has been torn by the sea is not lost. - lisa wingate
Bad word (fluff, smut) | Dilf!Tae AU, 6,4k+ @personasintro  One of the kids in your class curses and you make it your responsibility to break it to her dad, luckily you know him better than your co-workers
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Grinch in law (smut, angst, fluff) | Wedding!AU, 14,8k @mercurygguk When Jimin decides it’s time for you to meet his parents after your recent engagement, you couldn’t be more thrilled, especially when his mother suggests getting married at their home. However, an unexpected arrangement has you realizing this will be anything but the Christmas wedding you’ve always dreamed of.
Faded love (angst, smut, fluff?) | Married couple AU, 16k @jamaisjoons He doesn’t need to say it. because you can feel your husband, Park Jimin, falling out of love with you. 
Dreamy (angst, smut) | Fwb!AU 2,5k @1kook You try to not let it get to you, but Jimin is so cool and you want him to be your boyfriend so bad.
Mile high club (smut) | Coworker AU, 4,2k @geniuslab You absolutely hate flying, but the person sitting next to you makes this flight the best you’ve ever been on.
Business or pleasure (smut) | Coworker AU, 5,2k @geniuslab You and your coworker have some naughty fun at a business conference
In the stars tonight (smut, fluff) | Fiance!AU, 2,5k+ @mercurygguk It’s your engagement party and your fiancé looks too good to resist. also, he hasn’t been giving you any attention for the past two hours so really, you’re bound to reach breaking point sooner or later.
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trrickytickle · 3 years
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Super Sensitivities// Part 12
P/N: I am spoiling you stars with my daily uploads,, I mean, I don't mean to, but you guys are hungry for more. and I need to spit in your mouths like a mama bird.
....That isn't the best metaphor, is it?
Summary: Midoriya learns of his classmates' plans.
He didn’t mean to eavesdrop. He was just going to Todoroki’s room and stopped when he heard Kirishima say his name. Anti-tickling? What were they…were they all in on it?
Midoriya had long since realized that Bakugou was trying to ease his fear of tickling. The fact that Baku didn’t threaten to murder Kirishima or tickle him to tears were pretty obvious signs. But Deku didn’t realize the game nights were solely for this purpose. Did Kacchan really stop coming because he realized Deku was over his fear?
Yes, Midoriya had stopped having tickle fights with Todoroki. The incident with Iida had scared him. But maybe his friends were right, and he just needed to confront Bakugou about this whole thing. Confront Kacchan…how was he gonna do that?
He made his way to the angry blonde’s room, pacing in front of the door while muttering to himself about how he should broach the subject until said blonde jerked open the door and yanked him inside.
“What do you want Deku?! Your stupid muttering is driving me crazy!”
“Oh, sorry, I didn’t, I just mean…”
“Spit it out, idiot!”
“Will you come to the game nights again?”
Bakugou sneered. “Missed me that much, did ya? Bet it was pretty lame with those extras.”
“I know you did it to help me.” Baku growled and Deku quickly added, “No one told me, I just figured it out. I know you pretty well.”
“Scram, scum!” Bakugou flopped on the bed, turning away from the nerd intruding on his domain.
“Kacchan?”
“WHAT??”
Deku raised his arms nervously. “Can you tickle me?”
Baku’s mouth dropped open, and for once, he didn’t respond with an angry remark.
“It’s kinda fun now. We used to have the best tickle fights when we were kids, and you don’t seem to mind when Kirishima tickles you, so I just figured-"
“Not in your dreams!” Bakugou yelled, followed by a muttered, “I told you I wouldn’t.”
“But I’m asking you to. It’ll be like old times.”
“NO.”
“Well, if you won’t tickle me, then I’ll tickle you!”
Bakugou stiffened as a flash of green hair tackled him to the floor. “Get off me, you bastard!”
Deku pushed the protesting blonde onto his side, straddling him so that both of Baku's arms were trapped under his legs. Baku grunted and swore but didn’t explode, which was a good enough sign for Midoriya to continue.
“When we were kids, you would do this to me ALL the time.”
“Don't even think about it!”
“I was never strong enough to do it to you. What did you call it? The Izuku Sandwich? But what about…” he giggled at the thought in his head. “What about the Bako Taco?
“You imbecile."
Deku placed one hand on Bakugou’s lower back and the other on his belly, making sure to sneak a finger in his navel. Bakugou had always had a sensitive innie.
“Ready?”
“NO.”
Deku wiggled his fingers and almost lost his balance as Kacchan bucked and yelled and swore at his embarrassing predicament.
“AHAHAHA NOHOHO YOU BASTARD, DEKU!”
Kacchan had used this move on Midoriya many times. The tickling on the back caused the person to arch their back, pushing their tummy into the tickler's other hand. It was quite ingenious, and unbearably ticklish, which Midoriya was soon reminded of after Bakugou bucked him off and trapped him in the same position.
“You want the Izuko Sandwich? You got it, you nerd!”
Baku attacked the smaller boy, his fingers finding each and every one of the familiar spots he knew from years of experience. Although he was pissed at the idiot, he was careful not to dig his hands in hard enough to hurt him.
“AAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHA IS THAT AHAHLL YOU GOHOHOT?
Bakugou swore and flipped Midoriya on his back.
“You want more? Fine with me!”
He squeezed his hips, smiling triumphantly as Deku laughed so hard he couldn’t make any more smart-ass comments. He stopped after a few seconds and returned to his bed.
“You happy now, idiot?”
Midoriya lay on the ground catching his breath. “Ahahaha, only if you go to the game nights again.”
“Not a chance in he-”
Before he could finish, the green-haired boy jumped onto the bed with surprising speed and yanked his arms above his head, pinning them under his knees. Bakugou struggled to free his arms, holding his breath when Midoriya started tickling his armpits. “Whahat is this, some sick fohorm of revenge?”
Deku drew his arms back. “Of course not! I just want you to come to the game nights again. I’ll even give you an excuse.” Baku rolled his eyes as Midoriya continued, “Oh please, Kacchan, it would really help me if you would come to the game nights ag-”
“STOP PATRONIZING ME!”
“You did help me, you know? You didn’t have to, but you did!”
Midoriya started circling his fingers in Bakugou’s armpits again as the taller boy slowly broke down in a huff of laughter.
“Come on, you can do better than that. Give me your real laugh! You know I can always get it out of you.” Midoriya grinned. Time to take out his trump card. “I know your happy spot, I know your happy spot,” he sang as he drifted to the bottom of Kacchan’s armpits, and placed his fingers right on the spot between his armpits and upper ribs.
“Dohon’t call it that, it’s stupid!”
“But it is your happy spot cause it always makes you do your happy laugh!”
Sure enough, Bakugou’s belly laughter spilled from his lips milliseconds after Midoriya started digging in. That damn spot. It was probably his biggest physical weakness. Deku was the only one who knew about it, thank God. Kirishima had tweaked it a few times during the Mario Kart fiasco, but Baku was already doing his so-called “happy laugh,” so the red-head didn’t notice. Deku, on the other hand, found it when they were kids. Although he didn’t use it often, he wasn’t afraid to give the blonde a good tickling when he was asking for it.
“NAHAHAHAHA YOU KNOW IHIHI CAHAHAHA, I CAHAHAN’T TAKE IT THEHEHERE!”
Midoriya was laughing almost as hard as his friend. “Come on Kacchan, say you’ll go to the game nights.”
“NOHOHO”
“Then I guess I’ll have to keep tickling you and tickling you and tickling you and-“
“OKOKOKOKOKAHAHAHAY!”
Midoriya paused his playful torture, not ready for the fun to end just yet. He knew that Bakugou could take more than that. Deku wasn’t the only one who liked being tickled when they were kids.
“You know, that’s not the only thing I remember. You used to love my stories…”
“No.”
“In fact, you actually asked me to tell you them over and over…”
“DON’T YOU DARE!”
“Do you give?”
Bakugou growled but remained silent.
Deku began: “Once upon a time…”
The nerd wasn’t wrong, it was one of Bakugou’s favorite games as a kid, and he felt himself quiet his protests despite himself.
“There was a spider, and he lived right in a little house.”
Bakugou squealed as Deku lightly traced the weak spot between his ribs and armpits on the right side.
“He loved his home. He loved to dance…”
The fingers lightly traced, and Bakugou stifled his laughter. “This is so stupid.”
Midoriya smiled. “And he loved to jump…”
The blonde's legs kicked at the light pokes.
“But most of all he loved to swim. But there was no water in his swimming pool.”
Midoriya traced the outside of Bakugou’s armpit, chuckling at his friend’s laughter strike.
“So he decided to go to the Well of Giggles.”
Deku dragged his fingers down Baku’s ribs, dipping into his belly button to unlock Baku’s laugher, then dragging his hand back up into Baku’s armpit.
"But his bucket was so small, he had to go again…”
Midoriya repeated the motion.
“And again…”
Baku snorted as Deku started poking his fingers in-between his sensitive ribs instead of dragging them.
“And again.”
This time Midoriya took his sweet time, tickling each of Bakugou’s ribs until he could barely get into the 'Well of Giggles’ from how much Bakugou’s stomach was bouncing.
“Then one day, a new spider arrived. After he moved in,” Midoriya scratched and poked the spider’s new home, “he decided he wanted a pool too. So he also went down to the Well of Giggles.”
Bakugou thought he was too tired to keep up his squirming, but boy did those fingers make him dance.
“And there he met the other spider. The well was running dry, so they had to go ALL the way to the bottom...and around the sides.”
Deku put the index finger of each hand into Baku's belly button, one scratching every groove at the bottom of Bakugou’s navel, the other scraping the sides. Both were dedicated to driving the blond insane, and he immediately went into silent laughter for several seconds, taking a frantic breath and begging, “PLEHEHE IZUKU GET OUT OF THERE!!”
Deku leaned back, allowing Bakugou to catch his breath. It was nice to hear that when Bakugou couldn’t think straight he reverted to his given name, not the cruel nickname that Midoriya had since repurposed for his Hero name.
“You ready to give?”
The blonde shook his head. They both knew he still had some laughs left inside. Just like when they were kids, Kacchan wouldn't give until he really couldn't take anymore, even if it was something as silly as tickling.
Midoriya cleared his throat and resumed his story. “The two spiders became friends. But their houses were such a long way from each other, that they decided to build a shortcut.”
He dragged his fingers softly up and over each of Baku’s ribs, tweaking his happy spots before settling into his armpits.
“First, they thought about connecting their pools to have one MASSIVE pool. They would just have to dig and dig and dig and dig and dig….”
And dig and dig he did, not hard enough to hurt, but enough to get his friend howling with laughter as he took advantage of the helplessly exposed armpits under him, raking his nails up and down, up and down, again and again, covering every centimeter of ticklish skin that was just begging to be teased. He eased up as he saw the first tears fall from Baku’s eyes, knowing his friend was close to his limit. Time for the grand finale.
“Then, one of the spiders had an idea. ‘Let’s take jackhammers and drill a hole to connect our houses.’”
“WHAHAHAhahaha jackhahamers?”
Midoriya beamed. “Yep! And drill them right here!”
He vibrated his index fingers into that spot right under Bakugou’s armpits, making drilling sounds.
“GAAAAAAH NOHOHOT THERE, I CAN’T STAHAHAND IT, NAHAHAHAAAA!”
“Well, it’s a good thing you’re laying down then!” Midoriya teased. “After they finished drilling, they had to widen the tunnel.”
Deku dug his thumbs into his friend’s weak spot and twisted them back and forth, laughing along with Bakugou, who laughed until his voice grew horse. He laughed until he didn’t even remember his own name, much less where he was. He felt completely vulnerable, but somehow not scared in the slightest. He just felt happy. Unbearably happy.
Midoriya pulled his hands away, plopping next to Baku's side. He grinned, asking once again, “So, do you give?”
Bakugou beamed ear to ear, his laughter slowly dying but his smile permanently etched onto his face. “Yeheah, just this once.”
It took a long while for Baku to regain his breath, and when he did, he wasn't surprised to see Deku poking around his manga collection.
"Why are you still here?"
Midoriya ignored the question and yanked out a book excitedly. "How did you get this?? I don't even have it yet. Can I read it pl-"
"If you ruin it I'll kill you!"
"Thanks, Kacchan!" He hopped on the bed and started reading.
Bakugou considered throwing his ass out, but he was tired, and truthfully, he didn't mind the company. He had been missing Kirishima, although he would rather die than admit it. Instead, he grabbed the book he had been reading and joined Izuku. Side by side. Just like old times.
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Goodnight - Soryu Oh
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Author Note: So I played some Otome games randomly and one of them was Kissed By The Baddest Bidder. Interesting plots. Soryu was one of my favourites, so was Shuichi. Anyway, enjoy this maybe. A little suggestive at points. Also just straight uploaded not checked yet.
On any other day Soryu would’ve avoided the establishment; he despised the heavy stench of alcohol blended unevenly with a few of Mamaru’s cigarettes. He’d suffer once he returned to the sanctity of his room for the evening, he could already feel the scent clinging to the insides of his nose. Soryu would hold this against his friends for a while; even if neither of them had forced him to come. His body had moved of its own accord the second the young maid had shone a bright smile and asked if he was joining them.
The Ice Dragon had situated himself on the opposite side of the table from her, if it had been a possibility, he would have sat on a bar stool beside the bar. Instead, he suffered sat besides, what could only be called, the useless Detective. Perhaps Soryu had been to harsh in that thought, Kishi may be lazy but he’d helped Inui out of a spot of bother a few times. The Dragon couldn’t help the sparks of Envy that had lodged in his chest once again, albeit for a different reason, as he pondered on Kishi. No-one could blame Soryu, Mamoru held the second thing that Soryu could never have.
After a while the Auction Managers had dispersed, each going their separate ways as they bid farewell for the night. A few a little more than tipsy as they staggered by the many bar patrons. Baba had been the first to leave; a charismatic grin on his face as he promised to do this again before following a rather scantily clad woman out of the bar. Ota and Mamoru had been the next to go, a exasperated Detective wrapping an arm under Ota to support his drunken frame. With those three gone it had left Soryu with a nonchalant Eisuke and a close to tipsy maid. He should have left after Baba; it had been his intention to go but the young maid had started to speak to him and so effortlessly he had found himself lost as they conversed. They hadn’t even noticed when Eisuke had left; and that thought had made the blood in Soryu’s body run cold.
“What about those two?” Came a partially slurred voice, the syllables gently tore the man from his thoughts. His ever-observant gaze falling briefly to the woman. She’d stayed; the second they’d both realised Ichinomiya abandoned them she had chosen to stay and so had he. Soryu convinced himself that his presence was for Eisuke. He was staying to make sure she didn’t embarrass the man or cause any more trouble than she had since the Auction. It hadn’t been because Soryu had noticed the several less than sober men whose eyes lingered on her for a little too long when she went to order herself another drink, nor had it been because her presence beside him soothed his stress-riddled body.
Soryu lifted his gaze from his companion to gaze at the pair situated in a booth by the entrance. A rather thin salaryman with comedically thick rimmed glasses and a sort of awkwardness in his actions that rivalled a nerdy schoolboy sat across from another scantily clad woman. Her fingers danced around the rim of her glass as she watched the man with vague interest. Every so often she would lean further forward allowing the salaryman a clearer view of her cleavage.
“He’s a nerd and she’s an escort” Oh commented idly, he reached for his seventh whisky of the evening, relishing briefly as the liquid seeped down his throat. Normally he would stop at four and switch to a light beer but then again, he would never have been out drinking for this long unless he was making a deal. As he placed the, now, empty glass back on the table he reminded himself that he should’ve left before Eisuke.
“Soryu that’s not how you play the game” She chuckled a little as she finished the rest of her own drink. Her fingers danced around the rim of her own glass as she hugged it against her chest. At some point she had slithered into the seat beside him, and he could smell the lavender that swam through the air around her, offsetting any other smell from the establishment.
He’d frozen. His mind replaying the same word in her voice as though trying to retain how the syllables had rolled from her tongue in that innocent tipsy tone of hers. She’d never called him by his name before. It had always been ‘Mr. Oh’ or ‘Sir’. Never Soryu as much as he had craved it. He’d have told her if it hadn’t been for his pride. If he hadn’t wanted to save himself from being teased by Baba or Ota.
“You’re supposed to say something like. She’s asking him to buy her cat.” She whistled, another sip of her drink and Soryu caught the gaze of the bartender. In a brief flick of his wrist, the Bartender nodded. “But he’s allergic to cats, so she’s offering herself with the cat but he’s just waiting for the other members of his DnD club.” Soryu couldn’t help the soft chuckle that tore through his throat. “Do that again, I like that sound.”
Her drunken words meant nothing currently, yet it didn’t stop the warmth from dusting Soryu’s cheeks. The Ice Dragon caught the way she began to rock sideways, and he was certain that the room was spinning around her; so as the bartender set down a tray of coffee, Soryu placed his arm on the back of their seat, it was a precaution to keep her on the cushioned bench. He inched closer to her – just to make sure she had something to keep her propped up. Not because he wished she would fall towards him. Or so in that moment he could hold her.
“Ok, how about he’s a police officer in disguise, and she’s a widower. They matched on a dating app whilst he was trying to get closer to a drug ring. She guessed the code correctly and he wants to arrest her, and she just wants to get her rocks off. Two crossed wires.” Soryu smirked. Stifling her laughter, she placed hand in front of her mouth. She shifted in her seat, her leg brushing against his, an innocent action that had Soryu’s muscle tensing and his mind malfunctioning. The ever-composed Ice Dragon felt pathetic – she could reduce him to dust with just a smile and they hadn’t even known each other that long, not before the man had fallen for her soothing presence.
“Better…who next….?” She sighed, her head roaming the other patrons. Soryu lifted his coffee to his lips, the liquid lingering on his tastes buds as he revelled in the bitter drink. The second it hit the back of his throat he felt the caffeine kick in, doing its best to rid him of the alcohol coursing through his system. “Him” she practically beamed pointing to the bar.
For a second, he wondered if she meant the bartender, who stood cleaning an already immaculate wine glass, but then his gaze just skimmed a man hunched over his drink. He was younger than the other patrons, his dishevelled brown hair damp from what Soryu assumed was the rain outside. A hefty sigh masked the mumbles that came from the bartender, and for a second Soryu recalled a face in his mind’s eye. Especially when he caught sight of the glasses that sat beside the man’s drink, he paired them with the off brown three piece that adorned the man’s body and it suddenly occurred to him, just who he was looking at.
“That’s Shuichi’s and Eisuke’s love child. See the bartender doesn’t like him, clearly, he has the aura to get on everyone’s nerves just from his presence alone, probably from Eisuke, but arguable from Shuichi too. Then there’s the hair, the poor eyesight, and that sigh.” Soryu announced.
The room fell silent before hysterical laughter rang out. Soryu almost jumped at the sound as it resonated in his ears. She wrapped her arms around her body as she struggled to compose herself or even breathe. A grin spread through Soryu’s features, as they ignored the quizzical looks from the other customers. Even from the love child whose scowl imitated Shuichi so well that the woman’s laughter doubled.
“I bet…” She paused, inhaling deeply, “I bet he’s sad because his dads are fighting so he left after coming all the way to Japan to see them. Maybe he went to Dubai first to look for Shuichi but when he found out that he came to Japan he followed. Poor guy. Don’t worry sir, your dads will stop fighting soon” She shouted the last of her sentence. Soryu hushed her, sending the man an apologetic smile.
“Here. Have some coffee” He uttered. The mug remained untouched, her body lifting from their shared seat. She stumbled towards the bar, hands gripping the wooden surface tight as she ordered another drink. The bartender, whose eyes flew between her and Soryu, nodded before handing her a glass of what Soryu knew would be water. The mafia boss had slipped some money to the bartender when he had delivered his coffee, a silent look passed between the two men in a wordless contract to cut her off.
Soryu had been so caught up in his thoughts that he hadn’t noticed the pair of legs now stood in front of his coffee. He lifted his gaze carefully, cautious not to linger on any places he shouldn’t. She grinned down at him, rocking on her feet to keep herself steady.
“Look Sor, I’m taller than you now” She giggled. The nickname held an effect on him that he was too ashamed to admit to. The Mafia boss stood his hand hovering in the air before he turned around.
“Get on, it’s time we left” He announced; he bent slightly at the knees whilst he waited. She took a moment to understand what he meant, her body all but jumping onto his back. She hung her arms around his neck as her legs wrapped around his waist. Neither of them missed the way her body shivered the second he placed his hands under her thighs, or the way his body seemed to relax further.
To any outside observers they looked like a couple, a boyfriend who had come to collect his drunk girlfriend carrying her back to their room. Especially with the way she grinned, every so often blowing on the shell of his ear. The action would have Soryu jolting slightly, his fingers squeezing her thighs in a false warning. The Ice Dragon Leader wore a softened expression, a small smile gracing his usually frowning features.
“We should tell Mr Ichinomiya and Mr Hishikura to kiss and make up so their son can have his family back. He looked so sad; I wonder what Mr Ichinomiya did.” She mumbled, her voice seemed quieter now and she slurred her words a little less. A soft rumble in Soryu’s chest alerted them both to just how entertaining the idea of waking Eisuke up to tell him his fake son was waiting for him was.
“Maybe not tonight. I don’t think Eisuke will be too impressed” Soryu laughed. The woman fell silent even as she continued to blow on Soryu’s ear or tap her fingers against Soryu’s chest. What he had failed to notice in her silence was her reaction to his laugh. He’d only chuckled earlier, and yet the soft exhale that could barely be called laughter had the maid craving for more. “Ok, I need to put you down now” He added as they stepped inside the Penthouse elevator.
She didn’t move to release him, in fact she tightened her hold on the man, her legs wrapped tighter around his waist as she buried her head into the crook of his neck. He could feel the pout she wore, especially as her lips skimmed the skin on his neck. He moved his head away from her, a small shudder running through his body as he gazed at her through his peripheral.
“The elevator card is in my pocket; I can’t reach with you on my back.” He informed her; she continued to pout, shaking her head a little. A mischievous spark in her eyes startled Soryu as he felt her press further against his back, her fingers running down her chest towards his jacket pocket. His eyes closed struggling to maintain his composure until he felt the soft prick on his check. He peeked through a crack in his eyelid to see the familiar white key card.
“Here you go” She beamed, “Now onwards Sor.”
Mentally he was scolding himself, he should’ve told her – forced her to get off him. Anyone else and he would’ve. He’d done it many times in the past, each with a different drunk woman who would remember little of Soryu’s kindness and forever wind up hating him for his harshness the next morning. He should’ve left when Baba left.
He stood there, in the middle of the penthouse longue, unsure of where to put her. He couldn’t walk up the stairs and dump her on Eisuke. Not with his ill-temper when he gets disturbed. Nor could he leave her on the couch, not with the wandering hands of both Baba and Ota. He couldn’t think, not with her head resting in the crook of his neck, her breath gliding across his skin eliciting goosebumps in its wake. He shook his head as he headed towards his own suite. She’d stay in the spare bed tonight, if Eisuke hadn’t removed it already. Soryu would leave her there and make his way to his condo for the rest of the night. By the time he reached it, he’d have just enough time to shower and go to the Ice Dragon’s headquarter.
This wasn’t her first time in his suite, and much to his dismay he hoped it wouldn’t be the last. She’d cleaned the room many times before, but this was the first time that he willingly brought her to the room. The first time he had placed her on the bed. He was a statue by the bed; watching as she hid her face with her hands. Her clothing hung dishevelled on her body, her skirt rising just high enough to have Soryu’s mind wondering. He’d imagined her many times in his bed, and he wished he could say those thoughts had remained in the dead of night at his condo, but often he found himself fantasizing during his meetings with Eisuke. The Ice Dragon Leader would catch her cleaning in her maid uniform – hardly the most scandalous outfit but enough to have his blood racing and his eyes glossing over.
“Do you need anything? Water?” He frowned at himself. He knew the answer already and with that knowledge he’d bring her some water before he left. In the morning he’d send Inui over with some pain medication and perhaps some breakfast to keep her hangover at bay. With that settled he turned to leave. Just as quickly as he had moved, he felt a significantly smaller hand pull at his. His eyes drifting to the fingers that wrapped around his wrist as he let himself be pulled down.
“Don’t go” She paused; her words sounding panicked. “Not just yet” She continued. The simple sentence attacked what little self-control Soryu had left. It’s when his head hits the pillow that the alarm bells ring. A harsh reminder of just how bad things could turn out. At that point he should’ve stopped, told her she was drunk and left immediately. He should have. Yet he remained there, his body turning to lay on his side. Neither spoke, for a while, at least not with words. Soryu’s usually calm eyes roamed every corner of her face, a silent plea. He drank her in as though this would be the last time, he’d see her. Which should Eisuke find them was a very real possibility.
“Hold on” She whispers, breath warm against his face. She reaches out to him. Two fingers gently running over the skin of his forehead as they push back a stray hair. “There much better” She adds. Her hand remained there, it pulls him closer to her and he doesn’t stop the way his body shuffles closer on the bed. He can feel her rubbing her fingers against the skin of his temple. Soryu can feel her breath on his lips, and that on its own is enough to send his heart racing, he can smell the alcohol and the heavenly scent of Lavender. A scent he would forever associate with her, with this. It’s a smell subtle enough not to irritate him. Her fingers run over his hair, and he can’t help the shiver that escapes him. Nor can he stop his eyes from closing as he revels in the sensation. She eats at his control, and he can feel it slipping. He should be scared by just how easily she made him weak, but he’s not.
“I should go,” He mutters, he doesn’t mean these words anymore, “and you should get some rest before we do anything we’ll regret”. He doesn’t move, any conviction in his body went the second her fingers fell from his hair to the nape of his neck. She doesn’t force him to move, its written in her eyes how she feels, especially when he places his hand on her thigh. His fingers rubbing slow circles into her skin.
It’s innocent. The soft caress of her lips on his. She made the first move, he’s painfully aware of that fact but he kisses back regardless. His mind savouring the way her lips move against his, its everything he imagined it to be. The innocence depleting quickly as his mind races with the countless scenarios he imagined in his early morning showers. Her lips tempt him just as much as he tempts her. His hands pulling her body flush against him. Both ignoring the burning sensation in their lungs demanding them to breathe. His hand resting on her thigh rises higher; high enough to feel the material of her underwear.
Her own hands move to his shoulders desperate to rid him of his jacket. It doesn’t take long for the material to fall to the ground in a crumpled heap. His lips travel from hers to skin of her jaw, he leaves wet kisses as he turns his attention to her neck. In turn she moves her attention to the buttons of his shirt. He can feel the air stabbing against his overheating chest and the sensation knocks his brain into gear. He’s quick to hear the alarm bells, quicker to release her neck from his torment.
In an instant they both stop, her hands caught in one of his hands whilst his other remains still on her thigh. He inhales attempting to muster some control as he pulls himself off the bed.
“I’m sorry, I can’t” his words end in a pitiful chuckle; aimed at himself. In a reckless moment he had ruined what little closeness they could have. She wasn’t his to hold, to kiss or to touch. She wasn’t his as much as he wished she was. “I better say goodnight before I change my mind” He utters. He casts one last look at her, face red and dishevelled.
The second the door closed behind him; he fell against it. He hadn’t bothered to grab his jacket, nor had he bothered to rebutton his dishevelled shirt. Soryu lifts his fingers to his lips, he can still feel her lips against his, still feel the lingering warmth on his body. He was changing his mind the second he fished for his phone in his pocket. If Inui didn’t answer he’d go back in, deal with the fallout tomorrow.
“Was it everything you’d hope it’d be?” Eisuke’s voice filled the silence. The tight-lipped syllables turned Soryu’s blood to ice. “I do hope it was worth touching what belongs to me. I can see you enjoyed it and this once I’m willing to overlook it for an old friend.” He added.
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theanimeview · 3 years
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Hazbin Hotel's Double Plot: Charlie and Angel Dust - Or - Why Charlie and Angel Dust are Both Main Characters (And I love one more than the other)
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By: Peggy Sue Wood | @peggyseditorial​
Welcome to Storytelling Class, everyone. Now, who remembered to brush up on their Shakespeare? No one? Not to worry, Prof. Peggy (not official... yet) is going to explain it all anyway with a bunch of unnecessary questions she plans to answer for you. Ready? 
Here's a question: What is a double plot? 
It's a more common occurrence in storytelling than you may think and is sometimes mistaken for subplot though the two are not the same. Shakespeare used double plots in several of his works, though King Lear is the most common example. We generally call a double plot structure that which takes two stories with combined plotlines. The two stories could stand alone but are purposefully combined to depict complex situations mirroring each other, often to comment upon or reinterpret events that transpire in other dramatic situations. "Often this takes the form of relatively minor characters and plotlines doubling events and situations from the 'main' dramatic narrative" (Reinke 1, LINK). The main characters of the "second" plot are often supporting characters in the "main" story and vice-versa, meaning that the main characters in the "main" story may act as supporting characters in the "second" plot. 
Subplots have entirely different focuses that ultimately guide the main plot, such as on a hero's quest, the hero's party must split into groups to find different items for a magical spell. Following the group that went away from the party in different chapters is an example of a subplot, as this is a subordinate "plots" that serve the progression of the main one. A good indicator of a double plot instead of a subplot is figuring out whether or not the two plots could stand alone.
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John Lithgow, far left, with Clarke Peters in the Shakespeare in the Park production of "King Lear" at the Delacorte Theater. Credit: Sara Krulwich/The New York Times
Using King Lear as an example, our "main" plot features King Lear as the main character of his tragedy, and the "second" plot features  Lord Gloucester in a tragedy mirroring King Lear's story. In both plots, the main characters suffer from their past choices. A more modern example would be that of Netflix's Russian Doll, in which we follow two distinctive main characters suffering from, and traversing, a similar path. We can define them as double plots because splitting the two stories in each work to create separate works with connected characters would still work. (Essentially, the two stories of each work can stand alone--we don't need to know what is happening to Lord Gloucester to get what is going on in King Lear's story. It helps to know that Lord Gloucester's story, but it is not required to understand Lear's story since what will be important to Lear’s plot will be revealed to Lear’s character later on.) 
Another example of a double plot structure in a modern work would be that of Hazbin Hotel--let's discuss. 
We often define a plot by three things. First, the main character; second, the question that said character needs to answer; and, third, the problem(s) that led them to seek an answer to the asked question. In a double plot, you have to answer the first and third questions twice, which we can easily do with Hazbin Hotel. 
Let's start with Question 1. Who is/are the main character(s)? I've stated that it is Charlie and Angel Dust, but why? Two reasons. The first is how each character is introduced, and the second is that they are both asking the same question, though with different reasons behind it.
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In the Prologue/Chapter 1 of the Hazbin Hotel comic, the first character we are introduced to is Angel Dust. He is our introduction into this fictional world, and his story follows the hero's journey narrative making him one of the main characters and defining his story as at least one, if not the main, plot in our double plot structure. Charlie is one of the two main characters for the same reasons. She also appears in that first chapter near the end (just like King Lear, who comes in after Lord Gloucester's introduction), and is beginning a hero's journey of her own. Both their stories ask the same question but have different reasons for seeking the answer.
Beginning with Angel Dust, we see that his story starts in a comfort zone--that zone being a criminal lifestyle shown with him trying to make a deal with some demonic mafioso-looking dudes. We soon find out that he's actually acting out despite appearing comfortable in this kind of situation because he what? Wants something, that's right (I knew you were a smart cookie). 
When the deal with the mafia-demons doesn't go so well, we see him thrown into a familiar though much worse situation with his abuser and pimp, Valentino. This is our introduction to the main problems in Angel's current life, the issues that are making him want something outside of his comfort zone. To get what he wants, Angel must enter an unfamiliar, perhaps dangerous, territory and adapt to it until he achieves the goal or fails trying, and the person that provides the opportunity for entering the unfamiliar world, the Hazbin Hotel, is Charlie.
With Charlie's introduction at the end of chapter one, we begin seeing her hero's journey unfold. At present (her meeting Angel Dust), she is seen in her comfort zone. She's in a chauffeured limo with her bodyguard girlfriend, comfortably giving money to Angel Dust and acting as a somewhat naive and rather hopeful princess you might find in any fairytale story. She wants something but has yet to enter the unfamiliar situation (at least until episode 1, where Alistar steps in but that's not important right now). This closes the comic, but perfectly sets up the double plot narrative moving forward, thus helping to identify our two main characters.
What fully defines them as the main characters, my second reason for claiming both Angel Dust and Charlie to be one, is that second question we have for defining plot (the question that the main character needs to answer).
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Charlie says that the goal, or question she seeks to answer, is whether or not a sinner can be redeemed once they find themselves in Hell; however, I would argue that the real question is whether or not salvation (preservation or deliverance from harm, ruin, or loss) is possible for Hell's population. Charlie's "redemption" is instead a method to seek the answer to the question rather than the question itself. 
I argue this because that seems to be the end-goal Charlie is seeking for the citizens of Hell--salvation from being slaughtered on an annual basis. It is also the goal of Angel Dust, who seeks to be saved from his current life through his own hands or by someone else (though he doesn't seem to believe that someone else would help him without costing him something in return). For those of you wondering, Angel seems to be seeking an escape from many things, such as needing to trade sexual favors to his landlord because Valentino doesn't pay him well, an escape from hunger, and potentially other physical dangers. 
The two are both seeking answers to this question but going about it in somewhat different ways. 
In a recent video by Diregentleman, Why Angel Dust Should Be The Protagonist In Hazbin Hotel (it's brilliant, btw--a highly recommended watch if you have the time because most all his points are great), he argues that because Angel's story is more compelling and interesting, he should be the main character and while I agree that Angel's story is more compelling to myself as a viewer (just as I felt Lord Gloucester's story was far better than King Lear's parts), I still think Charlie's story worth the focus it is given in tandem with Angel Dust's. 
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WITH THAT CONCLUDED, I want to talk about my favorite character, Angel Dust! The lesson is over--let's nerd out. 
I have been thinking about this A LOT since Episode 1 came out, and when "Addict" dropped, I was pumped. In October of last year, I uploaded the first draft for the review into the Google file our team shares but had been writing said draft for a long while already, and watching Diregentleman's video pushed me over the edge to scrap the planned post that should have gone up at 7 AM this morning and instead re-write and post this. Because as much as I loath spiders--I LOVE Angel Dust. 
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Gosh, where do I begin….
Angel has been beaten down to the point that his character is a tad bit all over the place. Is he the villain? Sort of? At least, he comes off as one since he's not working very hard to fulfill his end of the bargain with Charlie and since he is a demon--but he also has qualities that are very much fitting the "redemption" Charlie is aiming for without any prompting. In fact, it's what made him so likable to me before the music video release of "Addict"--which just made me love him more. What do I mean?
Well, in the first episode, we see him just coming back from prostituting himself--a job he appears to be forced to do by Valentino (one of the big-bads of Viziepop's Hell):
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Valentino: Did you get my money, Angie Baby?
Angle: I'm wittha John now [sic]. I don't get why this needed to happen so soon after the extermination tho, Boss
Valentino: Just do it. No sass k sugar.
Angle: yes Val
He then buys drugs, which get stolen only to see a large piece of a building fall onto the would-be thief. Is he worried about the thief? No. Angel is only concerned with the drugs. Immediately after that, he joins a turf war with a friend of his, Cherri Bomb, and participates in wrecking what remains of the city from the previous night's purging (when Angels descend upon Hell and kill off a bunch of Hell's populous).
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Cherri is his friend, and it is at this moment, we see his first redeeming quality in the animated pilot--a self-sacrificing protective nature for a friend. How? You may ask, well, Angel is shown saving Cherri. It happens when Angel sees a weapon pointed at them, something that Cherri doesn't notice. He pushes her out of the way, unsure of what may happen, thereby allowing himself to be captured (or potentially injured) instead of her. 
That's self-sacrificing and is generally considered a "righteous" quality. 
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It's not like she could be killed--they're already dead and, from what we've learned, the already dead demons of Hell can only be killed by weapons the angels use or that which is made of the material angels use during the culling period that just ended the night before. The egg creature is not using one of these weapons at this moment, meaning that Cherri is not in danger of death, only injury. 
Despite knowing that Cherri would ultimately be fine, Angel pushes her out of the way and takes the injury risk. (If he suspected that the weapon might kill her, then even more kudos to him here as that means he threw his life before his friend's.) This moment shows that Angel does value life outside of himself, which doesn't immediately come across when we meet him given the crushed thief moment we had prior. 
This act of self-sacrificing, which is generally considered a virtue, shows that he has potential to change. 
Expanding from this, we see him empathizing with Charlie and expressing a moment of guilt. The scene happens after Angel, Charlie, and Vaggy return to the hotel. Angel is presented with the opportunity to "change" (offer an apology to Charlie that he actually means), an opportunity he doesn't take, but the fact that he's considering it when he previously felt no guilt for his actions shows that he is capable of it.
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Once Alistar comes into play, we see more of Angel's potential to change. For example, Angel is shown holding Vaggy back from attacking Alistar, which could be read in two ways. Either he holds her back because he doesn't want Alistar to leave (unlikely that Alistar would leave over Vaggy's attack), or Angel is preventing Vaggy from running at Alistar and potentially getting hurt, a very strong possibility that we learn through Vaggy's comment about how powerful the Radio Demon is and how he's grappled bigger demons on a larger scale to take over parts of the underworld.
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If we're to believe the story elements pictured in the music video of "Addict," then Angel is in a horrible spot. He's being abused and treated like a working slave to Valentino with little hope of escape on his own and few options to reach out to for help (if one can even ask for help openly in Hell given the place and the people).
While Charlie is nice, shown by her giving Angel money and helping him avoid having to sell himself on the street that night for Valentino in the Prologue/Chapter 1 of the comic, she too has expectations for him or does it with an ulterior motive in mind. He's a big name in Hell, and she wants him for her program. While it may not be intentional, Charlie asking him to try the program in exchange for money sends the same message Angel points out during the offer: Nothing is free--even kindness, particularly from the Princess of Hell. No matter how cute and lovable she appears...
Charlie's story is less compelling, and it's not simply because she comes from a place of privilege, as I've heard some say. I mean, I love lots of stories with the rich and powerful, and if the many seasons of Dynasty can stand as an example--so do a lot of over people. Charlie's story is less compelling because we can't relate to her choices given the situation we see her in or the problems she's facing. For example, she has great political power that goes completely unused. She's a princess of hell, obviously not struggling too much since she's chauffeured around and seen atop a tall--safe--tower overlooking the purged city below in Episode 1. She isn't in a bad situation, from what we can tell, not the same way Angel Dust is, at least. Her problems are more like a passion project from what we've seen so far, and we don't know why she is motivated to make this redemption program work outside of wanting to help her people. But if she wants to help people, why the hotel? 
She has power as a princess that she could use to help correct injustices in her kingdom, such as attempting to put an end to the turf-wards since it seems that the demons fighting for territory still follow and respect the royals and nobility to some degree. But, instead, she's created a program to change people into what she thinks is Heaven's ideal--a thing that may stop the culling by allowing demons to transition out into what? Angels? Spirits? Who knows. Regardless, it's a small-scale venture that doesn't attempt to use the influence she's been given to make sincere changes in the kingdom. Instead, she uses it to get publicity on a news station, and even that is a weak attempt. I mean, if she was doing this right, that new-caster shouldn't have been able to make a single nasty comment towards her during the whole process. I mean, I doubt the newscast would have said a thing had her parents been up there, which shows that she's walked all over and that she's let it happen.
My point is that Charlie's story doesn't yet make sense. It's harder for us, the audience, to put ourselves in her shoes than it is with Angel Dust, and that's why I love him more than other characters, and certainly more than his double plot counterpart, Charlie. 
I look forward to seeing more of this series going forward and hope that Episode 2 comes out soon!
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mythgirlimagines · 3 years
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As the creation of two calming waves crashing together, a calm ocean breeze is quickly birthed through them. And that calm ocean breeze is commonly known as Myth Anon, Former Ultimate Swimmer!
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BACKSTORY
Born to two happy owners of a beach house on a scenic and heart-rending beach, Myth knew how to swim, before she could even crawl, much like her older sisters before her. Upon entering middle school, she was encouraged to enter her school’s swim team and quickly became the star of the team. However, because she only likes to swim for fun, inner peace, and poetic inspiration, Myth eventually quit competing, but still managed to get enough coverage from the media to gain her Ultimate status. In her adult years, she is currently working part-time alongside her sisters at her parents’ beach house, and is currently studying to become a marine biologist, which she (unsurprisingly) turns out to be both very passionate and a veritable expert about.
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RELATIONSHIPS
Wyre Anon, Former Ultimate Detective
Wyre and Myth have been only the best of friends ever since they were children and have met one faithful day on the beach. Although Wyre is also known for their criminal sketchworks and their skills as a physical enforcer/bodyguard, it’s Wyre‘s skills as a homicide detective that made Wyre gain their Ultimate status, that is still going strong (and even stronger) in their adult years. For the eternally scatterbrained and innocent swimmer, Wyre is usually around to watch over both her and her belongings and to prevent weirdos from trying anything funny with their friend. Myth really appreciates Wyre’s help in finding misplaced items and she just loves walking across the beach with them all the time.
Outfit: A brown overcoat and a light green and yellow striped vest and a black tie over a white button-up shirt, pants that match their overcoat, darker brown leather gloves and loafers.
Anon Scar, Ultimate Programmer
Famous for creating one of the first ever instances of self-sufficient, self-teaching, and ultimately benevolent AI (known by the code name “D-3M-0N”), Scar is also a big name in online role-playing groups, where she is known as “Mother-Board, the Master Technomancer”, a ruler of a tech-based science-fiction realm who is in charge of all the high-end technology in it. On particularly busy and sleepless nights, she can even be caught acting as Mother-Board herself. Because Myth lived in a tech-less beach house, she is absolutely clueless in the ways of modern technology, and that is where heroic Scar swoops in and tries her best to teach the swimmer the way of the computer.
Outfit: Messier hair that is done up in two messy side buns, a purple hoodie worn hood-up with black and white striped sleeves, a ruffled purple skirt, black and white striped stockings and purple boots, the mask from her original design.
Fusion Anon, Ultimate Affluent Progeny
Despite only striking it rich very recently, Fusion’s business acumen helped expand his father’s failed company into a multi-million dollar industry and it also ensured that his noveau-riche parents’ finances would stay with them for a long time. He may get constantly underestimated by equally influential but longer-running business magnates, due to his situation and age. When not performing business operations, he loves gorging himself on lavish buffets and learning all he can from the massive library installed in his house. Upon entering the Kibo-Con, he began showering his fellow con-mates with lavish gifts. Needless to say, Myth really appreciated the life-sized plush walrus.
Outfit: Hair tied into a ponytail, a blue overcoat (that has a pocket watch in his right lapel) over a white button-up shirt, a pink vest, and a yellow and red striped tie, white gloves, pants that match his overcoat and the glasses and loafers from his original design.
Fusion Anon II, Ultimate Moral Compass
Fusion II attended a school with a rather high rate of delinquency, and, by the time she left for Hope’s Peak, all instances of delinquency have diminished in an instant. Claiming that she became a public moral committee because “you can‘t break the law, if you are the law” and ”I just want power”, Fusion II wishes to rise to the top of the corporate ladder and become like the rich magnates that she idolised so much, all to prove to her classmates that she is so much more than just a mousy little overachiever. Myth may not understand the moral compass’s dreams and ideals, but anyone who praises Myth’s mindset and thought process (read: actually unread sarcasm) must be a good person in her book.
Outfit: Fake reading glasses, a grey blazer over a white button-up shirt and a light blue and dark blue striped tie, a red armband indicating her position, a long skirt that matches her tie, black stockings and brown Mary Janes.
Just Anon, Ultimate Fanfiction Author
With a sparse and sporadic uploading schedule, Janon’s (or as he is known online, ”JustInThisForFun”) fans and followers commonly refer to the times he actually bothers to upload one of his fica as “Random-Time Rapture”, for you could never really predict when he will upload a fic, but anyone who reads his fanfiction would know that they are veritable masterpieces that can almost match the quality of the original works. Despite their differing temperaments, Myth and Janon love to relax together and introduce entirely new ways of relaxing to each other. Myth’s suggestions of relaxing on a particularly warm rock and lying face-up in the Con’s fountain are Janon’s two new favorite relaxation methods.
Outfit: Same outfit as the original, but with a bandolier of pens and other writing supplies.
Sparkle Anon, Former Ultimate Baseball Player
Considered a jack-of-all-trades when it comes to both Little and Major League Baseball, Sparkle catapulted her all-girl’s softball team (called The Shimmering Meteors) into stardom, with both her skills in the sport and her bombastic and dramatic personality, when on the diamond. Despite both being pioneers in women’s athletics, Sparkle and Myth‘s personalities and philosophies couldn’t be any more different, much to the confusion of the two girls. While the loud yet intelligent Sparkle plays mainly for the glory and thrill of competition, the calm yet ditzy Myth only swims for fun and for poetic inspiration. Sparkle and Myth just can’t comprehend each other’s athletic philosophies and motives.
Outfit: Hair in a bobcut, orange and pink sports jacket with her team’s logo on the back (and matching hat on her head) over a black and white baseball uniform, black cleats and a sparkly pink bandana around her neck.
Egg Anon, Former Ultimate Idol, and Wet Sock Anon, Former Ultimate Fashionista
With their twin as their loyal costume designer in tow, Egg takes in to the stage with such cursed songs as, “Deodorant Push-Pop” and “Discord DM Detonator”, which have garnered quite the cult following online, and quickly became one of the most infamous idols in show business, thanks to their song’s subject matter, as well as being one of the few ever NB idols. Egg and Wet Sock regularly love to antagonise Myth, but thanks to her ditzy and unaware nature, any and all cursed comments uttered by the twins would either be unintentionally ignored, giggled at and agreed to, or even getting used in one of Myth’s poems much to the ire of the duo who live off of attention, positive or otherwise.
Egg’s Outfit: A garishly covered fedora, a t-shirt with a cursed meme on the front, green and red striped upside-down pants, pink crocs.
Wet Sock’s Outfit: Hair over one of their eyes, pink eyeshadow, a black hoodie with white fluff, tight jeans, white and black converses.
Curious Anon, Jr. Ultimate Clairvoyant
Raised in a family that are all experts in supernatural powers, Curious stands out amongst the rest of their family with their clairvoyance powers being far above that of any other ancestor before them. This caused the fortune-telling booth that was passed down from Curious’s parents to them to skyrocket in popularity, and earn Curious a free spot in the Hope’s Peak Middle School roster as the “Jr. Ultimate Clairvoyant”. As a lover of the spiritual herself, Myth found herself fascinated by Curious’s powers, and Curious was all too happy to show off and teach the awestruck swimmer all about their powers. But than again, one could ask Curious to do anything, and they’d do it without hesitation.
Outfit: A green and off-white kimono with a red obi, brown prayer beads around their neck, white socks and brown geta sandals.
Anon Nerd, Former Ultimate Soldier
Born and raised in a territory that was eventually wracked by the spoils of war, Nerd was drafted into his cruel nation’s army, thanks to a combination of his natural anger-induced strength and his natural talent in piloting, repairing and even inventing war weapons and machinery. All the time spent combating both potential and certain threats made him constantly hostile and quick to anger, even in his adult years, when the war was long over. Taking sympathy on her fellow chaperone, Myth decided to teach Nerd all sorts of relaxation techniques (that mostly just involve wading or lying in water), but to no avail, for Nerd has feelings for someone that he would much rather blast with his scouter (read: Myth).
Outfit: A black suit of armor with built-in-weapons and the scouter from his original design.
Eldritch Anon, Ultimate Novelist
Under the pen name “R.C. Wells” (because he doesn’t want evil corporate executives to trace his location), Eldritch particularly specialises in dystopian novels that seek to expose the real world for the apocalyptic wasteland that it‘ll become, if the sheep (read: his audience) remain oblivious to all the horrors of the world they’re living in. Despite Eldritch’s blatant dislike and constant insulting of his audience, he only has the best of intentions for the world, and he thinks that the written word is the best way to combat against the propaganda in the media. Needless to say, Myth‘s relaxation tactics doesn’t exactly sit well with the constantly-worried novelist, so he avoids her like the plague.
Outfit: Reading glasses, a pencil behind his ear, a brown overcoat over a white dress shirt and a red tie, dark brown pants and matching shoes.
Dream Anon, Ultimate Gambler
Despite what her age and her childish personality would suggest, Dream is a veritable genius, when it comes to turning the odds to her favor, and winning boatloads of money at the gambling tables and betting on sports. Dream is infamously referred to, by her foes, as “Lady Luck’s Lovechild”, for her seemingly supernatural ability to make luck fall into her favor and guarantee her automatic wins, against otherwise dangerous odds. Just like with Curious, Myth found herself fascinated with Dream’s supernatural luck-changing powers and likes to sneak under the gambling tables and watch Dream gamble to uncover her secret, much to the embarrassment of the gambler.
Outfit: A grey and white fedora and pantsuit with card suit-themed buttons, a pink undershirt and heels.
Iris Anon, Jr. Ultimate Martial Artist
As current heiress to the Ryuseitai Martial Art’s Dojo, despite what her clumsiness and regular slip-ups suggest, Iris is regarded by martial artists everywhere as a prodigy in combat, who is able to take down foes that are at least a foot taller than her. Iris is also quite the excellent instructor, teaching her elementary-aged students all about mindfulness and positive thinking, which helps breed a brand new generation of strong martial artists. Because of their shared interest in mindfulness and odd philosophies, Iris gets along very well with Myth, who has a similar nature to her, and they have regular meditation sessions underneath a waterfall hidden in the forest behind the Kibo-Con.
Outfit: Hair tied into two Sailor-Moon-esque buns, a pink gi with a big purple star on the front and back, pink sandals, bandages all over her body, the hoodie from her original design tied around her waist.
Purple Anon, Ultimate Lucky Student
Being from one of the more wealthy families in her neighbourhood, Purple was signed up to Hope’s Peak’s annual Lucky Student raffle by her parents, and her supernatural luck meant that she was the lucky girl selected to attend. Because Purple was sheltered a lot, she is very timid and regularly speaks in old-fashioned and archaic terms. Because of a majority of these qualities, Myth and Purple get along very well, thanks to their shared interest in writing poetry, and Myth’s fascination with both Purple’s supernatural luck powers and her odd mode of speech, which sounds much like her own. Whenever they get together, hardly anyone can tell what the two girls are saying.
Outfit: The original outfit, but without the beret and a four-leaf-clover pinned to her sweater.
Watch as this oddball swimmer either befriends or baffles the people around her!
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PERSONALITY
Needless to say, Swimmer!Myth is one hard-to-read swimmer, for she has quite the odd thought process and an equally eccentric vocabulary, often speaking in odd poetic terms about water or marine life, and always searches for inspiration for her poetry. Swimmer!Myth also has a strong love for the supernatural, and can usually be seen learning about and getting in touch with her calm and spiritual side, if she’s not swimming or lying back-up in shallow bodies of water. Swimmer!Myth also gets easily distracted, and regularly wanders off, requiring a buddy to help ground her back to Earth (read: Detective!Wyre). Swimmer!Myth is also heavily empathetic, and, in spite of being an athlete, actually hates competition, which is why she dropped out of being an Olympic-level competitive swimmer years ago, and she really treasures her loved ones.
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APPEARANCE
Swimmmer!Myth has long and wavy brown hair with a French braid tieback, that she can put up in a ponytail while swimming, and blue swimming goggles on her head. Swimmer!Myth swims practically all the time, and her simplistic outfit reflects that perfectly. She wears a pink, blue, and purple wetsuit with blue frills on her sides, a pink translucent shawl and a seashell necklace around her neck, along with purple flip-flops on her feet.
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Now that I’m finished with this AU, I’d love to hear your opinions on the talentswap! In the meantime, look out for more content made by your’s truly!
-Fusion Anon
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tinyshinysylveon · 4 years
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i suddenly got this idea where izuku is an anonymous famous editor for youtubers who hire him to edit their videos because he’s a professional at doing it, and katsuki is an upcoming youtube vlogger who travels around the world and yet doesn’t know how to edit his own videos to save his life, so no matter what he does, he always seem to mess up even the basics of editing (part 1/??)
“i think you need professional help” kirishima says as he watches katsuki trying to drag an edited cut on to his video for the umpteenth time that day “shut up, shitty hair just give me a minute-” an error popup. “did you just.. deleted the video?” “....”
katsuki keeps trying, he even watched tutorials on youtube (while skipping important segments ofc because he can totally do that all on his own!) but his patience is wearing thin until kirishima recommended him to someone who’s known in the youtube community for their famous editing skills 
“..deku?” katsuki stares at his screen showing a youtube profile with the name deku as their username and an icon of all might with edited-in sunglasses “okay look, he may seem suspicious to you, but i gotta tell you bakugou, he’s legit, i’ve seen his videos and they look awesome!” well katsuki will be the judge of that despite this deku having 5 mil+ subscribers than him!
the blonde spent the whole day watching deku’s videos which mostly consists of amvs (anime music videos) and games, especially the ones that required a lot of effort to make, plus he even made tutorials! so he gotta give him credit for that, but alas, katsuki is still somehow having trouble following directions and gave up on the latest tutorial video on how to add an easy transition 
when kirishima came to check in with katsuki, all he heard were multiple clicks and grumbled noises, he let out an exasperated sigh “i can’t believe you’re still trying..” “what the fuck do you want me to do kirishima?” katsuki was trying not to flip his table at this point. “hire him obviously!” the red head yells out as if that’s the answer to their problems “..and how do you suppose i do that?” 
it actually took a lot of convincing in kirishima’s part, but katsuki finally threw away his pride and decided to send a message to deku’s business email that was left under his about page on youtube 
“..i want you to become my editor and help me in becoming the #1 youtube travel vlogger in the community” kirishima reads the message out loud that’s displayed on the screen, “you sure you want to send it like this?” “i don’t see anything wrong with it?” “but don’t you think it’s too.. blunt? no formalities or anything like, hello i’ve seen your videos and i would be honored to have you as my editor, you know?” katsuki just shrugged, “it’s too late, i already sent it to him”
about half a day later, deku replied back, “Good afternoon Mr.Explosionmurder, I appreciate that you requested me to become your editor and would like to discuss further details about our agreement via discord. You can contact me by adding my username, deku#2463. I look forward to hearing from you.” to this day, kirishima still can’t believe his eyes when he read the message
“oi shitty hair, what’s a discord?” 
it wasn’t katsuki’s fault that the majority of time he spent in high school was doing his best to stay on top of assignments and projects, plus being in the A honor roll, he didn’t really get to decide on his career until after he graduated, thanks to the courtesy of his parents owning their own modeling industry, he put the money he saved up to good use in traveling around the world and vlogging it for people to see with kirishima as his traveling partner
he explained all of this and his reasonings to deku on discord once he reached out to him and figured out how to use the platform, but katsuki was still suspicious regarding his video editing skills and wanted to see it firsthand on how his videos would look like as a finished product
deku: fair enough, send me your videos and i’ll see what i can do, until then, if you deem it satisfactory, which i’m confident that you will, i request a 50/50 payment on your revenue. take it or leave it. 
for some reason, katsuki agreed to it without a second thought due to the challenging tone from the message; “i can’t believe you! i told you to trust him! why do you have to doubt him?! haven’t you already seen his videos?!” kirishima was full on panicking at this point, how were they going to make money?! “shut up, i know what i’m doing! i know what’s best for my videos!” it was a good chance too since they’re currently in hong kong and planning to shoot the top 10 tourist spots to visit as claimed by an article he found online
a few days later, katsuki finally got all the videos piled up in one folder and sent them all in a google drive to share with deku just as he requested, he even mentioned to him thru discord message to follow the cues he was giving him on his videos such as when he and kirishima took a stroll and tried foods in the temple street night market; “hey deku, i want you to do a close up of kirishima eating the curry fish ball with erotic music playing in the background” he smirks while focusing the camera on the red head eating without a care in the world and not noticing katsuki making the comment, “mmm dude, mmm you gotta try this, it’s so freakin’ good- wait bro, how long have you been pointing the camera at me?” 
in less than a week, deku sent a reply back with the link to the fully edited video; deku: hmm, not gonna lie, but your cues were actually helpful and dare I say, creative? katsuki took it as a compliment and opened the link to the video file, it was about a few GB so it shouldn’t take a long time to upload on youtube, but.. was it ready? he called in kirishima to watch it with him and was actually prepared for it to look horrible despite deku’s obvious talent except.. it was actually pretty good?? better even?! “what did i tell ya katsuki? i told you he was legit,” his partner boasted, just earlier he was embarrassed when the part about him eating the curry fish ball with the “let’s get it on” music in the background showed up while the blonde just rolled his eyes. 
explosionmurder: thanks, and i just saw it, consider yourself hired deku: happy to be of service! i’m looking forward to working with you, mr.explosionmurder! it would be helpful again if you provided the cues during your journey! :)  explosionmurder: don’t mention it and also don’t call me that, call me katsuki  deku: okay, mr.katsuki! [all might emoji]
kastuki found it odd that he became really eager during the exchange but thought nothing of it
a couple of months flew by and katsuki with kirishima in tow have already travelled in 4 other different countries, he even received about 500k+ subscribers, he’s almost to 1 million! as per agreement, he gives half of his revenue to deku which was okay with him since he still has a lot of saved up money in the bank including kirishima’s since they’re sharing it anyway, most of the time, his communication with deku have been entirely professional with a few emojis in between (usually deku’s part), until today that is 
deku: it must be nice to travel 0:  explosionmurder: pfft, what are you talking about? you now have over 7 mil+ subscribers in your channel since i met you, you can go traveling whenever or wherever you want  deku: i can’t  explosionmurder: what do you mean you can’t?
no reply
since then, katsuki didn’t want to think too much on what deku said and focused mostly on traveling, those videos won’t work themselves! after he finished, he sent over the videos of his recent trip from india over to deku and as usual, deku delivered it back beautifully edited along with a message 
deku: that’s so cool! you guys went to india? *o* [link to video edit] explosionmurder: yeah, you should’ve seen shitty hair when he tried that really spicy curry, which reminds me, you did what i asked right? deku: of course mr. katsuki! as always, i’ve paid attention to every cue you asked for! [saluting pepe emoji] explosionmurder: good good, i didn’t just hire you to sit on your ass all day  deku: haha you’re not my only contractor you know ^^”  explosionmurder: is that what you meant when you said you couldn’t travel because you’ve been busy? way to be blunt katsuki, he mentally berated himself, but at least deku answered this time, although reluctantly deku: ...let’s just say im stuck at home  in that very moment, is when everything changed between them explosionmurder: alright nerd, you sound depressed as hell so i’m going to give you the decision to decide on where we’re going to travel to next, think of it as a reward for all you’ve done for us  deku: asdkjflas that’s too much! T_T are you sure mr. katsuki??? explosionmurder: i’m waiting, you got 3 seconds starting now, 3  deku: america! i’ve been wanting to go to america...
katsuki told kirishima his plans, then the spiky red head gave him a pat on the back and a thumbs up, “so you do have a sentimental bone in your body!” kirishima was almost close to being dead that very same day 
when they arrived to america, he asked deku the list of things he wanted to see and most of them were, “all might amusement park, all might cafe, all might- is there anything else the nerd likes besides all might and superheroes?” katsuki says while viewing the list in the hotel they’re staying at. “give him a break, you said so yourself that he couldn’t leave his house, so this is the least we can do for him and for all the hard work he put in our videos,” kirishima reasoned with him
on the last day of their trip, katsuki did his routine in piling the videos together and sending them to deku with the attached message, “i actually bought you a souvenir if you want it, looked like the type of shit you would like, you’ll see what it is in the videos i’ve sent you” they’ve known each other long enough so he thought why the hell not, it’s just a matter of getting his PO address, and the response to this was immediate, “AAA I SAW IT! THANK YOU THANK YOU!” <3<3 <(^w^<)
it was an all might limited edition figurine only available in the US 
for the first time, deku took two days longer to finish than katsuki expected him to since they’ve started because he always goes through them pretty quickly, maybe he’s too busy making them look up-to-par? whatever the case was, when katsuki received the video, it already had a title for it, “MY AWESOME TRIP TO AMERICA PLUS ULTRA!” kirishima just laughed and told him to keep it in honor of deku so he left it like that, “this better give me some views,” he grumbled and uploaded it the night before they went to bed, he wasn’t really worried in checking it out either because he has faith in deku’s abilities  
the morning after was hectic, katsuki has been receiving notifications upon notifications on the “travel bros” (courtesy of kirishima) twitter since last night, one in particular caught his eye, “i can’t believe deku and katsuki are dating! who would’ve thought!” what?
a short video appeared underneath that came from the video he uploaded, and regretfully never took a look at, showing katsuki saying to the camera as he held the AM figurine, “deku, you should’ve been here, look at what i got you, nerd,” at first glance, it was supposed to look normal (from the original video!) except hearts and sparkles began appearing around katsuki as he smirks up at the camera, what the fuck? besides, deku was suppose to edit that all out! for every cue in every part where he says deku’s name, he was expected to delete them like he usually does! even though it was no secret that deku was his video editor, he distinctly remembers mentioning about him in a video they took way back when they first started out their contract agreement
meanwhile, kirishima was having a field day, he finally saw their video while katsuki kept on seeing other short videos of him on twitter from different segments of the trip in which he either had sparkles or hearts around him, especially when he mentions deku’s name; “bro you won’t believe this, our subscribers grew up to over 1 million last night!” kirishima yells enthusiastically, but when he noticed katsuki not paying attention to him, he looked over his shoulder to check what he was looking at. “oh that, you know those aren’t fanmade videos, right?” katsuki unblinkingly turned to look at him, “you mean..?” kirishima gave him a toothy grin, “yep!” 
a video call from discord, “dekuuuu, what is the meaning of this?” a squeaky voice, “i-I’m so sorry i got carried away and i couldn’t help it! all might was too beautiful including you and-!” “..what did you just say?”
TBC maybe?
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Text
A Winter Night: A ROTTMNT Holiday story
Rating:G
Word Count;2358
for: @snakeeyesdraws
Characters: Donnie, Leo, Kendra
pairings: [takes breath, pulls out sword] LISTEN
update; i accidentally uploaded the draft the first time ^^’ i fixed though this is the finished version
An overtly saturated neon sign of a Santa selling sandals catches him in the corner of his eye. He uses his forearm to protect his aching eyes as he passed the sign. When he passes the blinding neon of Santa, the turtle takes a deep breath, a soft mist escaping his mouth. Honestly, he is grateful the streets aren’t more crowded. But not for his slowly numbing hands. He stuffs his hands into his unlined pockets and moves forward. Grateful more than ever that he had updated Shelldon with a heating unit so he didn’t have to weigh himself down with a heavy coat. It was making the walk to Hueso’s a bit more tolerable. He’d have to remember to update his brothers’ gear to include a heating unit like his. Course knowing them they’d probably use it to heat up marshmallows in their pockets and that was a mess he was NOT going to clean up for-
He is so wrapped up in the nightmarish scenario of having to clean marshmallows out of circuitry when a loud shriek of anger followed by a trash can flying past his line of vision causes him to jump on one foot with a shriek of fear
“Stupid AIDEN!!”
It takes Donnie a moment, and another trash can flying by his vision to realize he is not the source of anger, or in danger. He blinks and peers down the alley before having to duck in time for another trashcan to get stomped in the middle with enough strength to crunch it in half before, in a mixture of amazement he blinks. “Kendra?”
In a feral rage Kendra stomps a trashcan nearly in half before swerving around and glaring at him snarling. Her thick purple hair twisted in half ragged tangles, her beret lay on the ground as though she had thrown it to the ground before deciding that wasn’t enough to help vent her rage. Her half-crazed eyes narrowed at him. “What do YOU want?!” she bites and for a moment Donnie wishes he hadn’t stopped, “Are you here to ruin my day again?! Wreck my plans?!”
“Um,” Don blames his lack of ability to come up with a snappy come back on his even more urgent need to survive the next five seconds, or at least not end up like that trashcan. ”Are you doing something that should be stopped?”
Kendra narrows her eyes at him. “NO.”
“Do you HAVE an evil plan that I should stop? Again?”  With a snarl Don worries he might have said the wrong thing.
But then she lets out an angry sigh, “No, not now.”
“Um.” He really didn’t want to end up a Donnie shaped hole in the wall, “Then, no?”
Kendra narrows her eyes at him, Donnie could barely see the little puffs of steam burst out of her nose like a bull trying to figure out if he was a matador worth charging. But then she lets out an angry growl, ”Fine, go away then,” she says, crouching down and yanking the trash can back into a standing position kicking at it a few more times to try and un-dent it. Donnie glances back at the trash cans in the road and sighs. He pulled off his gloves, cursing the fact that he didn’t bring any extra rubber gloves, and pulls one of the trash cans off the street. Kendra glares up at him before eyeing the trashcan in confusion, “What do you want?”
“To not see cars hit trash cans? Is that supposed to be a hard question?” he asks, again berating himself when Kendra narrows her eyes at him, but lets him stand his trash can next to the one she had ‘undented’, she doesn’t thank him when he drags by the other one too. But to be honest he doesn’t really expect it. But he does finally notice that, even though she traded out her leggings for sweatpants, she’s lacking her purple dragons' jacket and is wearing a dark grey sweater and boots. All signs indicated she had not been planning on being outside in December and is using all the anger she had been trying out on the trash cans to not shiver, “Where are you going?”
“What’s it to you?” she demands.
Donnie raises his hands in mock surrender. “Honestly? I was just trying to help but if you’re going to keep acting like a jerk, I’ll-“ he wasn’t sure how he was going to finish that thought. ‘Walk away?’ ‘Blog about it angrily later?’ But it ended with someone shouting ‘heads up’ and something hard slamming into the back of his head, his vision exploding in bright colors and the breaking of a snowball contacting with his head. Off balance he finds his world spinning and himself on his knees, hands holding his head trying to make sense of the pain and his disorientation.
“Hey!” Kendra’s voice was far away, but that could be ‘cause she had stormed over to yell at the kids who had thrown the snow ball. “The hells your problem?! That was basically an ice ball you weebs.” Don could barely make out their mumbled sheepish apology. He pulls off his hat and touched the soaking bandana underneath. Any hope that it had just been snow went out the window when he drew his bloody fingers off his head.
“Holy-“ Sounds like Kendra was back, his vision was spinning so bad that he assumed the spinning purple mass by his side was her. “Hey how many fingers am I holding up?!” she said holding out her hand. He could barely make out her fingers but gave a weak, “Four?” with strength surprising for someone her size, she took his arm and lifted him to his feet, pulling his arm over her neck, “Come on there’s a hospital nearby-“
“NO,” he answers quickly.
“Are you kidding me you’re HEAD is BLEEDING.”
“And I'm a giant talking turtle which do you think will matter more to a hospital staff?!” He often wondered how Yokai managed in the city without access to a hospital. He had been meaning to ask Hueso about-. He blinks, there was no way he could let Kendra take him home. But he was already close to the pizza place “I have a place I can go. But you can’t go with me-“
“Again, your HEAD is BLEEDING,” she snaps. “I’ll take you where you need to go but I won't get any closer got it?” Donnie knew she wouldn’t take no for answer and only answered with a sigh and a nod. She pulls harder on the arm wraps over her neck and took more of his weight. Despite their height difference he barely touches the ground which only added more to the feeling of being disoriented.
“Thanks,” he muttered weakly.
“Don’t thank me til we get there.”  Donnie struggles to keep his eyes open but his swirling vision forces him to keep his eyes closed, a hand slaps his face lightly. “Hey stay awake nerd.”
“Pot calling the kettle-“ Donnie bit off the end of his statement as he tried not to dry heave. He could feel Kendras frozen bare arms through his coat and feels even worse for being out in the first place. “H-Hold on,” he says, stiffening his legs up to drag her to a stop. He manages to pry her arm off him long enough to peel his coat off leaving him in his long sleeved dark pink Atomic Lass shirt. “You’re obviously cold.” As callous as he is sometimes, he finds it’s better to be honest than to dance around the subject, “Shelldon has a heating unit that’ll keep me warm.” Though it wouldn’t help his arms, he could handle a few blocks though. Thankfully his vision is returning to some extent, enough that he notices Kendra looking to his pack and for a moment Don struggles not to shift to put the pack out of her sight, “That’s Shelly right? Is he still mad at me for tricking him?”
“Oh definitely. He has a stack of crayon drawings dedicated to his revenge on you.” He feels the shoulders on his back tighten as though Shelldon was reprimanding him for revealing his secret plans.
Kendra lets off a small shrug “Yeah fair enough, I’d probably do the same thing” before smirking directionally at the pack, ”But for the record little buddy, blue prints are a much better way to plot out revenge.”
Don tries to grin before dizziness settles in again. Kendra must have noticed since she ducked under his arm. “Hold on nerd, keep talking to me.”
He manages a nod, mentally keeping track of their location. “Wh-what were you doing out here kicking trash cans?” he asked. “And who’s this Aiden guy who has you so mad? Not that it's any of my business, but I’m kinda hurt there’s someone out there you currently hate more than me,” he says with an added offended tone that makes her glare at him in confusion. ”I mean not to brag, but I sorta consider it a pride and joy to have an enemy worthy of my intelligence.”
Kendra narrows her eyes. “Please, he’s not worthy of my time,” she says through her teeth. “There’s this guy in the robotics club with us, Aiden. A loser who couldn’t tell a snickers from a soldering pen. There was a contest to submit the best blueprints, and who ever won would to be our project for the semester.”
“I’ve seen you build stuff on your own though. “
“That wasn’t the point,” Kendra lets out an angry huff, “I won, like I knew I was going to. But he got second place, I checked the points and he was twelve points away from wining. Twelve! The loser pretty boy who had his private tutor help him.”
“But you still won-“
“-He shouldn’t have gotten that close. I did all my work by myself. Didn’t ask for help, spent nights coding and drafting. I should have left him in the dust a broken swaddled nerd with broken dreams. But no. I made sure he knew how I felt about it, but the creep tattled on me. Freaking snowflake got freaked out because his blue prints ended up on his front porch on fire. Since when is that illegal.”
“I mean,” Don pauses, “I think always.”
“Anyway, I got kicked off the club and that’s why I'm out here.” She shrugs. “If my Dad or step mom saw me getting this mad then they’d make me do the ‘breathing exercises,’” she said with air quotations, “Being all ‘Kendra we’re worried about you’ ‘Kendra we love and support you we just don’t want to see you go down a bad path’ and ‘Kendra where do you keep getting access to all this fire!?’” Her frustrations forced her to kick out at a sign they passed but thankfully not hard enough to knock it over, “So as soon as I’m done helping you, I’m going to see my Mom. She’s the only one who gets me.”
Donnie blames his concussion on being so surprised Kendra had a mom but tried to keep it off his features. But judging by the quiet scoff from Kendra he hadn’t done a very good job, "How about you Greeny? Why did you come out here if you already had a concussion? Don’t pretend like you didn’t have one, I saw the bandages when I was checking your scalp. You already had a head injury before you got hit in the head.”
Figures his hat would blame him, and his own disorientation for forgetting that Kendra had checked his scalp. “It's complicated.”
“More complicated then plotting revenge on a spoiled white boy in a Vanilla Ice t-shirt?” she says in a tone that tells Donnie she’s trying to make a joke. And despite his best efforts not to, he snorts slightly, “No, I'll agree it’s not that complicated.” But it still feels weird to share with a certified enemy who once tried to steal the Spirit of Labour Day (don’t ask can’t explain). Thankfully she doesn’t rush him as he tries to collect his thoughts. “I got into an argument with my brother.” He still doesn’t want to let her in on too much information. “My brothers are all protective of each-other but he's’ protective in a way that makes me nuts. He thought it was too soon for me to go out with this whole situation,” he said gesturing to his head bandage, “And I disagreed. Except I didn’t really do it in the best way.”
“I think I know what that means,” Kendra says. “Did you say something bad?”
For a moment, it takes all of Don’s remaining mental energy to not think about Leo’s face, watching his concerned features fade away to one of hurt. So hurt in fact he hadn’t even called after Donnie when he stormed out. He lets out a sigh. “I did. I wish I had a reasonable excuse for it, but to be honest I don’t like feeling like I'm depending on people. I don’t like feeling like he’s always concerned about me. I especially don’t like him being right about it.”
“Sucks when it feels like you’re under-appreciated huh?”
“Yeah.” He could make out a familiar sandal store that housed Hueso’s alley. “We’re here,” he says.
Kendra looks around, and for a moment Donnie is concerned Kendra is going to insist on taking him ‘inside’ but she ducks from under shoulder. “You sure?” she asks, “I can take you further.”
“I’m good, thanks though.” He tries to give her a confident smile but his lips only twitch in response. She gives a half shrug before she starts pulling off his coat. “Keep it. You have a long way to walk and I still have Shelldon to keep me warm.”
“Thanks,” she says pulling the coat back on. “I’ll catch you later Greeny,” she says. She looks like she's’ about to walk off when she pauses. “But for the record, it still must be nice to have brothers who have your back.”
“It is.” Don nods. “And honestly Aiden sounds like a little bitch.”
For the first time since their strange encounter began Kendra put on a full smile. “Thanks,” she says before walking off.
(#)(#)\/(#)(#)
Leo didn’t snore.
So when his phone went off amongst his makeshift ‘pillow floor’ in the living room he did not ‘snort’ awake. He made a strangled noise before sitting up. Patting his sweatpants and hoody pockets before diving into the mass of pillows. Breaching a moment later like a whale with his phone in his teeth. Hueso’s ID is flashing across his screen. With a scoff he answers. “For the last time BONE man I don’t work today-“
“First of all, that is NOT how you politely answer a phone,” Hueso starts with a snap of his teeth. “Second that’s not why I'm calling. Your brother is here with me.”
Leo blinks, he blames his previous hibernated state on why it took him so long to remember which brother had left the lair. “Donnie? Is he ok?” he said already going to his room and looking for his sword under his bed.
“He is alright, but it looks like he got hit on the head pretty hard-“
That’s all it takes for him to charge out of his room, lingering only long enough to grab the toolbox he used for a first aid kit, and grabbing his portal sword from the kitchen (vaguely remembering he had used it to cut some cheese for his peanut butter and cheese grilled sandwich earlier) and slicing the sword down to activate a portal to Hueso’s office. Without saying bye, he hangs his phone up and jumps through.
The aforementioned skeleton, who had been glaring at his phone as though offended Leo had hung up on him, gave a shriek as the turtle appears by his side. “BAH! Leo, I hate it when you-“
Leo immediately tuned him out when he saw Donnie laying on Hueso’s couch with an ice pack over his forehead, he hurried forward and knelt down. “You ok buddy?” he asks.
Donnie looks up at him from under the ice pack with a weak smile. “I don’t know, are you really uglier than the last time I saw you or is that my head talking?”
Leo couldn’t help but grin. “I thought brain injuries were supposed to make people nicer,” he says. He turns to the toolbox and starts going through the first aid supplies inside. “Thanks for letting him rest. In your office,” he tells Hueso as he sets aside a pen light and some new bandages.
“Why wouldn’t I? Out of your brothers he’s most definitely my favorite.”
“Wait you have a favorite?” Leo looks to him. “Then who's your least favorite?”
After a pause, Hueso gives a wide and strained grin. “I will leave you two to it. If you need me just call me,” he says before ducking out quickly.  
It’s only then that Leo turns his barely contained worried energy on Donnie “What happened? Who did this? Do you have their address and sleep schedule-“
“Leo,” Don starts in a pained voice, “Please, my head feels like someone tried to split it with an ax. It was an accident. Some kids hit me in the head with a snow ball.“
Leo was about to start on another tirade of questions when he forced himself to take a deep breath, “Yeah, ok, I'm sorry,” he says. Also trying to ignore Donnie’s missing coat. He looks back to his supplies and pulls out a pen light. “I’m going to check your pupil dilation, but only if you're up for it.” He waits for Donnie to give a slight nod before he lifts the pen and carefully pushes the ice pack away from his eyes. Using his thumb to cover Don’s opposite eye without actually touching him, with a flash the pupil constricts and dilates as it should. He does the same process to the other “Well that’s good at least,” Leo says. “How’s your vision?”
“Spinning, but I think that’s from the pain.”
That would make sense. The red slider turtle rose to sit on the edge of the couch, carefully unwrapping Don’s scalp as gently as he can, checking his facial expression for any signs of increased pain before he lets out a sigh of relief. “It's just a surface bleed. It doesn’t look like the actual injury itself reopened.”
“That’s good,” Donnie says with a soft sigh. “You’re doing a good job.”
“I had a good teacher.” Leo made sure to give Donnie a soft smile that the turtle barely returns. “Let me just change the bandages and we’ll head home when you feel up for it. Maybe we can order some pizza; I've had a monster craving for anchovy and chocolate syrup pizza for days-“
“I was wrong.”
Leo blinks, pausing from unwrapping the new bandages with his hands. It takes him longer than he should to realize what Don’s apologizing for and when he does, he only returns to digging through his kit. “You were a little right,” Leo says quietly putting aside a bottle of alcohol, “I mean it's kinda right, right?? You're usually right-“
“No, Leo.” Donnie tries to sit up but fails to get up more than a few seconds before Leo’s grip on his arm forces him back down. “Leo I was wrong. I was angry, my head was killing me I would have said anything to hurt you. You don’t mess everything up-“
“Except I do?” Leo lets out a soft laugh. “I mean I do. Between the minotaur's pizza and Big Mama I'm surprised I get anything right-“
Don’s hand grabs his shoulders and before Leo can stop him, the soft-shell forces himself into a sitting position with pure grit alone (judging by the pain filled grimace on his face, “Would you listen to me?!” Donnie demands shaking him by the shoulders, “I shouldn’t have even said it but I would have said anything. I was angry at feeling so helpless and dependent. I was angry because you were right for trying to stop me from going out. I did need your help and I shouldn’t have been so difficult. I’m sorry, I’m so sorry-“ his last sentence is interrupted with a sob that helps him notice the tears running down his face. Donnie lets out an aggravated huff as he presses the heel of his hands against his streaming eyes to help spare his dignity in some way.
He feels the couch shift as Leo shifts closer, wrapping his arms around him. “Ok, ok you were wrong. I’m sorry.”
“Stop apologizing Leo,“ Donnie manages to say from his brother’s shoulder. “I’m the one apologizing not you, idiot.”
“Alright, alright I apologize for apologizing. You were wrong I was right. Is that what you want to hear?” he asks. Don nods into his shoulder. Leo rests his cheek on Dons’ shoulder rubbing his shell for a few moments as Don’s erratic breathing finally starts to calm down.
After a few seconds Don lets out a small sigh, “Damn it, I was doing so good too. I can't even tell anymore if these are meltdowns or panic attacks.”
“As long as you don’t have to deal with them alone when you don’t want to, that’s all I care about.” Leo gives him a final squeeze before reaching up and taking Don’s shoulders, gently guiding him down to lay down again. “Ok buddy. I’m going to rewrap your head, and then I'm going to go order us some food and portal us home. You just relax ok?” He waits for Donnie to nod before Leo starts applying some alcohol to a cotton ball. “I’ll be honest though, I’m sorta surprised you made it here safely.”
Don for the first time since Leo entered Hueso’s office looks him with his tired blood shot eyes. A soft smile forming on his face as he relaxes. “Yeah,” he whispers. ”Me too.”
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The Treatment of Captain Syverson-Chapter Eight: Heat/Ice
Pairing: Captain “Sy” Syverson x OFC (Shane Benton)
Summary: Playing hooky leads to more delicious food (Sy cooks! Swoon!), some deep conversation, and new revelations about Shane’s past.
What? You’re behind? Don’t worry! CLICK ME to catch up before reading this chapter!
Word Count: 2.5k
Warnings:  Language, mature themes, more food sluttiness, shameless nerd speak, unfettered and shameless sappiness.
Author’s Note: So, guys, I’m sorry. I really wanted to get this chapter to you Sunday. Life has just been a bit disheartening of late. Between being upset over some personal turmoil some friends are going through (two of my oldest friends are getting a divorce!) and coming home from work utterly exhausted on all possible levels, it’s been hard to write about lovey dovey things. As I said in my recent reblog of my masterlist, though, I’m working on some prologues, one for each character. I don’t plan on them being terribly long, but I want you guys to have some more back story.
Disclaimer: Unfortunately for me, Henry is not mine, le sigh, and all mention of him, his characters, any characters from his films, or his precious doggy, Kal, are strictly for transformative and recreational use. I neither ask for, nor accept payment for the work I post on Tumblr or AO3. Unbeta’d because this is for fun and escapism.
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Hope I’m not forgetting anyone! If you want to be notified when I post a new chapter or work, I’ll be happy to add you to my tag list! Stricken blogs are getting personal messages from me when a new chapter is uploaded because Tumblr’s faulty tagging system will not stand in the way of me delivering what the people want!(?) lol! (Although…their lackadaisical notification system might…sorry for that. I have no control. lol!)
It was hard to feel guilty for calling out of work for the afternoon under false pretenses when she was curled up on the sectional in Sy’s “nerd lair” with his head in her lap as they watched John Wick on the massive TV he had down there.
“You mean to tell me we watched the entire Bourne franchise upstairs on that…that iPod Touch, by comparison, when we could have watched down here on this majestic monolith!? In what is essentially a theater!?” She’d asked immediately, derailing the grand tour of the museum of things she would soon find amazing.
“Hey, I haven’t been coming down here a whole lot since I hurt my knee. Stairs haven't exactly been easy or, ya know, possible. I had my gaming computer down here for weeks, too, couldn't do a damn thing about it, because I didn't trust a'one of my buddies or my neighbors to haul her up the stairs for me. Leia's a custom machine worth thousands a' dollars. If she's getting' broke, it's all gonna be on me."
"You named your gaming computer? Leia?" So many emotions were flooding her. Adoration, sympathy, lust, and just a sheer need to squeeze the bejeezus out of him.
"Yeah, it's a common thing. And…not to be that guy, but…you do know who Leia is, right?
"If by Leia, you mean Leia Organa, Princess of Alderaan, true daughter of Darth Vader, adopted by Bail Organa at birth, sister of Luke Skywalker, hero of the Rebellion against the Empire?"
"Hey, I thought you wanted to take things slow, sunshine." he pulled her close, flush with his body. "Then you go talkin' all sexy to me like that." he lingered at her cheek with light kisses.
"Well, you did the same with your baseball talk the other night." she moaned into the contact with relish.
"I can't help it if certain sports terms have made their way into everyday speech. Your…exposition there, about my boyhood crush was intentional."
"You had a crush on Leia?" he nodded, shyly. "I had a crush on Han! Heck with Cap and Widow, THERE'S our couple's costume for next Halloween!" she said, excitedly!
"Oh, I didn't know you were talking about costumes for public use." he said, a naughty smirk in his eye.
"Stop it, you. Finish your tour. I want that soup on the stove." she said, patting her tummy.
He showed her the various memorabilia he'd procured over the years. Posters from a few of her favorites, and a few others that she recognized but wasn't as excited about. Die Cast models of several famous film vessels and vehicles, and a "life size" LEGO R2-D2 which would have had her salivating even if she hadn't been hungry. Apparently it took him almost a month to assemble the droid, but he did it all by himself.
"Aww…I wish I could have helped." she lamented.
"Maybe I'll pick up the Death Star and we can do that one together."
She nodded excitedly, eyes wide, rubbing her hands together in front of her chin with greed.
"Okay, little mouse." he chuckled. "Let's fill that belly and start this movie."
They filled massive bowls with generous portions and took the crackers down stairs so they could start the marathon. If they wanted to get through all three films tonight, they'd best get started.
They were both fairly quick eaters out of habit given her often truncated lunch breaks and his typical ten minutes in the mess hall. Even savoring the delicious creamy, cheesy concoction, as she tried to do, it was hard to slow down on. It did give her something to focus on during the first, emotionally devastating part of the film though. Once she finished, she expressed a final  groan of delight and thanked Sy, kissing him on his cheek as she held the other. She felt the smile bloom across his face as she prolonged the contact.
They were about halfway through the movie, a big fight scene in a night club, when something dark and grim hit Shane in the chest. Watching Keanu Reeves pretend to beat up and kill all of these actors and stunt men, it occurred to her that the man with his head resting gently on her lap, long body taking up the rest of that side of the sectional, had fought and killed. The man letting her play her fingers through his hair and beard had shot and blown up people. He was told to do it. Ordered to do it. But even though he was doing it lawfully and by military order, as far as she knew, it was still his job…at least some of the time. She knew that was an oversimplification of the function of the armed forces, but…sometimes, it was an apt description.
She had never thought of Sy like that before. Someone other than the strong but gentle teddy bear that had come to be such a comforting presence in her life. She needed that, after all she'd been through…she tried not to think about the hurt of her last relationship. She hadn't discussed it with Sy. It was history. Ancient history. But she was, after all, a believer in the fact that those who knew nothing of the past were doomed to repeat it. She'd tell him…one day. Everything that Elliott had done to her…had put her through. But not tonight. Suddenly, she thought being on the arm of a soldier, someone who'd lived the kind of life that Captain Logan Syverson had lived, might make her feel more safe than she had in ages.
"You're awful quiet, sunshine." he said, cracking a beer open and handing it to her before doing the same for himself and sitting down with his thick arm around her.
"Just…trying to be respectful of the movie experience. You know." she smirked at him as the menu music to the second movie played.
"It ain't that. I know this is still new, what we're doin', but I've watched enough movies with ya over the last few weeks to know that you don't keep quiet for a full length feature." Shane worried the tab on her cold Miller Lite. She wasn't sure how to bring this forward. "Spill it, sweetheart. What's eatin' ya?"
"What…what do you think about when you're watching movies like this, Sy?"
"Guess, same as anybody. How awesome the fighting and driving is. Wondering when Keanu got to be a badass. And if there's really an underground society of assassins. Why, hon?"
"I, umm, I only wondered if it…it doesn't make you miss…your job?"
The smile he gave her was both bemused and amused. "Come 'ere." he prompted her to lean her head into him, and sat his beer down on the buffet behind the couch so he could better hold her. "Do we need to go over the function of a captain of the Army of These United States? Because as flattered as I am that you think so highly of me, I'm no John Wick, nor do I know anyone like John Wick. Or five guys that would make one John Wick. Ten guys. Maybe twenty."
"The fighting doesn't bring anything back?" she smoothed the creases in his shorts as she tried not to act like she was over thinking his past.
"That fightin’s…it's like dancing. It's choreographed, precise, and the outcome is predetermined. Real fights are the exact opposite. They're chaos, unpredictable, and the right guys don't always win. Trust me, I've seen a lot of them go south in a big way." they both let a moment of silence pass before Sy broke it. "What’re ya really askin’, Shane?"
She wanted to ask so many things. The questions seemed to clog the ventricles of her brain like leaves in a rain gutter. Bottlenecked traffic.
"I just…couldn't help but think…about things you must have had to do when…when you were active, and I just…if you need to talk about anything, I'm here." She imagined that taking someone's life, no matter how personal or impersonal the act itself seemed on the surface, would create some level of emotional scarring.
“Oh, sweetheart." he kissed the top of her head, making her feel as warm and cozy as the soup had…perhaps more so. "You are important to me for so many reasons. You've shown me how to smile again. Laugh. Real, genuine happiness. No sarcastic shit like I had to use on my men in my squad. But although I'd feel comfortable talkin' to ya 'bout near anything, there's a counselor on the base who's specifically trained to help guys like me. Who've seen what I've seen and been through…similar situations. He makes sure I don't feel like less of a man for what happened to me. You make me feel…like more than a man…something stronger than I thought possible."
She was straining hard to corral the tears within her waterline, but they broke free when he squeezed her tightly to him with both of his massive arms.
"So…that HEP I gave you is working?" she laughed, knowing full well that his home exercise program had no bearing on the strength he meant.
"Come on, Shane." he raised an eyebrow at her, challenging her to see herself the way he saw her. "Them handouts you give me don't mean a hill o' beans in this conversation and you know it. The way you hold yourself, speak to others. There is so much quiet strength in your kindness that comes right out of your beautiful little heart. Some days I'll see you working with kids, if I get in early, and I know they annoy you and freak you out, but you never let that show." He looked into her eyes, misty from emotion, and he wiped away the tears from her cheeks. "I'll never be able to explain it right, the way you inspire me to be a better and stronger man. And my heart just breaks to hear you put yourself down. And don't say you're just kidding, because I know you think you are, but behind every one of those jokes is a truth, at least as you see it." He'd seen her make to argue and knew her tactic before she had attempted it. "Give yourself some credit, Shane."
"I'm too busy blaming myself for the bad stuff to give myself credit for anything good." she sniffed. "You're the first guy I've…I've been involved with that's acted like I was worth anything more than a meal ticket. Someone who was only suitable for enough sex to make it an official relationship just so they could have a place to live, and do whatever quasi-job was a thing. First serious boyfriend was a freelance writer, but he never seemed to be writing. Then there was the guy with the internet start-up…but he could never tell me in a satisfactory way what the company actually did…so that was brief."
He seemed to know she was bracing for something big. Something difficult. He gave her silence and stroked her shoulder in encouragement to continue. She took one of her deepest ever breaths.
"Then came Elliott. Elliott Thomas. My last boyfriend. The worst of them all. Most useless and greatest offender. I ignored all of the signs, of course. He had a YouTube channel and an Instagram that he was trying to gain followers on and become a so-called "influencer." she rolled her eyes. "He had no life skills. He had a bit of an eye for photography and he could find humor in uncommon places, which he thought made him insta-famous and vlog-worthy."
"I hate him already." Sy growled.
"Well, maybe I shouldn't tell you the rest, then." he asked her to go on. "He always seemed to find these ways to cheat on me and lie to me that I couldn't quite prove, but I was just certain of. But I just…I didn't want to believe it. I wanted THAT one to work. Well. I came home one night after work, and he had another girl in our bedroom. I told him he had until the next day when I got home to leave. Things got a little physical, but I can hold my own." she said, proudly, "and I bolted with my purse. I stayed with Heather, our evening secretary, and we hashed it out, and got a little blitzed on moscato, and cried together."
"Wow."
"He was gone the next day. All I heard from my landlord was, 'you shouldn't be hearing from him anytime soon.' so I guess he had his cop buddies send him a message. He blocked me on all social media and I haven't heard a peep from him since. That was five years ago."
"What a scum bag." he stated, obviously.
"Yeah, I haven't been able to really think about a relationship since then…until…" she let the word hang there, knowing they both knew what the end of the sentence was. "Until I met you." Drifting unsaid in the ether of the unspoken.
"It's been a long time for me too. I mean…I haven't quite been a monk, but I haven't…I haven't cared for a girl since…actually, I've never felt this way about anyone."
"I didn't mean to unpack all of that tonight when we're only a third of the way through our marathon. I really wasn't even going to bring it up at all. It's just…been on my mind. Ya know. I once heard a very poignant parable about keeping your mouth shut if you're warm and happy. I was attempting to do that." she chuckled.
"Yeah, but we need to be able to open up to people in this life. Keeping a bottle stopped under pressure ain't no good for the bottle. Or what's inside."
"Such wisdom. You know just what to say to me." she grinned into him.
"Just seen what keeping yourself closed off can do to a person. And the people they love."
Love…there was that word in the air. Not officially said, but felt in all ways. They held each other close as the opening to the second movie played.
Up Next: Chapter Nine-Group Therapy
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kamandzak · 3 years
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Into the Great Night - Chapter 2
I started writing this book about a year ago and finished it ~7 months ago. Performing a big rewrite and this chapter is so dismally beautiful I can’t keep it to myself.
Context: Andrew Garland’s boyfriend of eight years has passed away and he is struggling
Recommended listening: Compass and Miracle by Two Steps from Hell
     It was foolish of me to think it would be any better at Tessa’s house. Merely leaving the place Greg and I had cohabitated didn’t mean our past would leave me; that my grief would leave me.
    It was no better sitting on Tessa’s couch as opposed to my own.
    It was still lonely. It was still joyless.
    It was still too cold.
      If that was my new normal…. If that was the life of which I would be forced to live for the rest of my days, I preferred to die.
      Tessa was worried. Beth was worried. Sara and Clara were worried. They all had the right to be. Mom and Dad still hadn’t reached out. I couldn’t say I was mad about it.
      For the first month I carried the same daily, depressive routine: Wake up, shower, watch videos, eat, shower again, sleep. Wash, rinse, repeat. Nothing to disrupt the morose mentality I held from the moment my eyes opened until they closed. Even in my dreams I continued being sad. I couldn’t escape – trapped forever.
    Jake’s constant messages of concern did nothing but send me sinking deeper and deeper into hazy nothingness. Peppered with queries about when I planned to emerge onto the gaming scene, along with the occasional ludicrous statement about how he understood my stuffy brain, each message was deleted as it was read. There was no reason to have those hanging around, reminding me why I was in Reno and not where I had once dreamed of making a life for myself.
      Whenever I closed my eyes, Greg’s face appeared in the dark. Maybe I was napping; maybe I was finally sleeping fully through the night; maybe I was simply blinking. Always, he was there.
    Sometimes it was a fleeting glance of what used to be the best part of my life. Sometimes I dreamed of things that had already happened, or things I wanted to be that would never come to light.
    One night, I dreamed we got married. Waking up was almost as painful as watching him die.
      Tessa was worried I’d off myself. It wasn’t like we talked about it or anything, of course, but I could hear her and Beth sitting over tea every weekend, hushed mutterings coming from her dining room table or her room or her little porch. My grief had thrown a wrench into the lives of those around me, Beth worrying about my life when she normally would work on lesson plans for her rambunctious class of first graders. When she was feeling brave, Tessa would ask why I kept my secrets down deep for so long. That right there was why.
    I had suffered from depression before but what I was feeling wasn’t just unadulterated sadness; it was a fierce, far more complicated set of emotions leading me to exist in a far more dangerous mindset than I had ever been in before. Instead of having an urge to kill the part of me that is making me feel so unbelievably yet nondescriptly sad, I wanted death. Death, full stop.
    Mom and Dad and Sara and Clara and Beth and Tessa weren’t good enough reasons to stay alive, and all I wanted was to see Greg just for another minute. I wanted to give up a life with my own flesh and blood just to see him again. I would have given up all the time in the world for one more night of SNL and inside jokes with a man who made me feel like so much more than who I actually was; a unextraordinary nerd with awkward social tendencies and difficulty communicating. With Greg I felt like I was more than just me; without him, I didn’t know who I was anymore.
    “Andrew! Your phone!” A crumpled ball of paper bounced off my head as Tessa’s voice cut through my outer shell, the sounds of my phone following her words. My phone beeped loudly, the tell-tale sign of a Facetime call on it’s way, and I dragged my finger across the screen to accept before I read the name. Each bodily movement seemed to take ten times longer than Before. I was living seconds behind reality.
    “Garland.”
Jake’s face popped onto my screen. 5… 4… 3… 2… 1….
    “Hi.”
    “You look like hell.”
Jake’s mouth stopped moving before I even put together the string of letters that made up his blunt statement.
    “Mm,” I managed.
    “You in Reno?” I nodded. “I’m heading out that way this weekend. Never been to Vegas believe it or not. Figured I’d go explore. Have you seen anyone since everything happened?
    “Andrew, want anything from the gas station?” Tessa stood in her door frame and as I shook my head she left without another word.
    “I’ll take that as a no?”
    “Yeah, no. No, I haven’t seen anyone. I don’t want to see anyone.”
    “What if they came to you? So you didn’t have to leave where you are?”
    “I’m not about to let a stranger into my sister’s apartment.”
    “We’re not technically strangers at this point, right?”
    “Why are you so hell-bent on meeting face-to-face?”
Jake paused, inhaling loudly, wheezily, in a way that reminded me of Greg; then again, everything reminded me of Greg whether it had anything to do with him or not.
    “The best thing that came out of the worst time in my life is now I can be empathetic to other people going through the same thing.”
The tiniest part of me wanted to know what he’d been through but the larger part didn’t have the brain power to care because what actually mattered didn’t exist anymore. I didn’t think Jake was purposely jabbing at open, festering wounds for the sake of cruelty; he was just caring for me.
    I didn’t want his caring. I only wanted one person’s caring and couldn’t get past the knowledge that I'd never have it again.
    “Let me know if you want someone to talk to. I’m only in Nevada for a couple of days. I won’t mind stopping. Really.”
    “Mm.”
    “I gotta go. Message me.”
The screen went black. Please Rate the Quality of your Call, a prompt stated, with the outlines of five stars beneath. I did no such thing.
    I wasn’t about to message him, even if I had a reason to do so. I wasn’t going to be messaging anyone because all conversations led back to Greg. How was gaming going? Was I still in Los Angeles? Was I still going to be on YouTube? All questions would eventually wind up being about him and the more I talked, the more I would have to remember. The more I would have to remember, the more I would have to feel, the more I would hurt.
    It started happening when I arrived at Tessa’s; my need for answers led me to the internet and introduced me to the term dissociation; I would simply leave my body. Up to the ceiling I seemed to float as if filled with helium, watching what was taking place below. Tessa waking up and making breakfast before going to her gaming room; her video editor Reese chatting with her about her upload schedule; Beth coming and going; myself sitting in the same spot on the same couch day in and day out.
    I didn’t know why it was happening, the only reasonable explanation being that I so desperately didn’t want to exist but was too much of a damn coward to kill myself. In the end, dissociation seemed like the best option. Just remove myself painlessly from my surroundings. Was certainly better than the alternative. It was peaceful, exiting the current plane and living somewhere else if only for just a few minutes.
    Live. That was the key word. I was still technically alive, my heart still beating and my stomach still digesting and my eyes blinking and lungs expanding with each breath. The human being my brain commanded was still moving. My mind was developed enough to operate on autopilot, doing the dumb things it had to do to keep everything in stasis. I ‘lived’, for lack of a better word.
    When I did gather the courage to look up what I was feeling on the internet, nothing made sense. Nothing could be remotely tailored to fit my situation. I could relate to none of it. These people with their inspiring stories and memoirs written in loving memoriam, and benches dedicated to loved ones… their experiences seemed to minimize what kept me awake at night. How were they able to do that? How could those strangers make me and my emotions feel trivial without even knowing me and without me actively posting in detail what was happening in my head? As hard as I tried to imagine those brave widows and widowers and left-behinds feeling the way I did, their stories always wound up being of getting over that tremendous loss.
    I didn’t want to get over it. If I got over it I would lose Greg forever. I’d already lost him once.
    The grocery lists of things I could do to help myself mocked me as I read the advice of people who claimed to know how to recover from the un-recoverable. Write them a letter, authors would write in silly, curly-cue fonts before giving me a whole page to write the letter, as if I was going to sit down and put pen to paper and tell Greg about something I saw that reminded me of our first date. List all the good times, one said, with bullet points for me to fill out five moments, as if every moment we had together wasn’t the best of my life. Find someone to talk to, another whimsically suggested as it reminded me that keeping my feelings inside was dangerous. As if I didn’t already know it was ripping me apart from the inside.
    They didn’t tell me how to start a letter to Greg where all I could do was say how much I missed him. They didn’t tell me how to find someone to talk to when I didn’t want to talk to anyone about anything. They gave me five fucking spots to talk about good times as if our six-year relationship could be reduced down to that many moments and no more.
    They said all of it was doable; they said that when the lost their husband or wife or boyfriend or girlfriend or best friend or grandparent or dog or whatever, those were the steps they took to recovering and moving on.
    They weren’t me, though. They weren’t me and they weren’t Greg and they weren’t the set of circumstances under which we had lived. Even if half of the equation was there, the other wasn’t. Maybe their loved one was sick. Were they sick with the same ailment, or one that carried similar stigma? Did they purposely risk illness for the sake of their significant other or family member or friend? Did their risk become reality because fate can be an unnecessarily cruel mistress? Did they love the other person so much they shortened their own life?
    The door opened and couch shifted as Tessa’s hands landed on the sides of my face.
    “Andrew”
I cracked at her voice, her icy hands wrapping around my head and pushing me against her. Worming my arms under hers, I clung to her small shoulders, weeping into her jacket sleeves. Eyes screwed shut I gasped for air, seeing Greg in the darkness as he mirrored the same breathy sounds. While mine were of sadness, his were of death – the only sound of him I could manage to remember despite being together for so long. Tessa pulled at my non-resisting body and we sat together, tangled in a heap of coats and scarves and unwashed hair. Much like when we were young – when we didn’t understand what the world was about or why we were with the people we were with – and Tessa would protect me, we sat close, her love drowning out the pulsing drone of fear and hatred and sadness and anger rushing through my mind as it struggled to comprehend the incomprehensible.
    For several minutes, we sat in silence.
    “Andrew.”
    “Mm.”
    “I love you.”
    “I know.”     “And,” she finally pushed me off her body, holding me in front of her. Cold air hit my hot face, adhering the salty wash of tears to my skin, “And you can talk to me about anything you need to. I know you don’t want to. I know you think you’re strong enough. Maybe the only way to become strong is to not be.”
    “Where do I s-start?” I hiccupped.
    “Let’s get the team together,” she began, rising slowly and pulling me up with her. “Maybe they can help.”
    “But-.”
    “No one knows you like we do.”
      Hours later, beneath the door of Tessa’s bedroom, I heard her. I heard them.
    “You guys have to get here as soon as you can. Please.”
    “What’s the matter, Tess?”
    “I think it’s happening…. I think the numbness is wearing off. He’s starting to feel things again. It’s not that I don’t want to be here when it happens. I just don’t want to not have you guys here with us. I don’t know what do to.”
Greg’s death wasn’t supposed to be affecting my sisters as the sounds of their video call trickled through the under-crack of the door. It wasn’t supposed to be affecting Jake or anyone else but me and the Davis’.
    It was a stupid thought and their voices continued, muffled by my sense of inadequacy. Of course it would be affecting other people. It started doing so the moment Tessa posted my video. It started affecting the girls the second I told them I was having an emergency and they needed to come see me. What I hadn’t wanted was exactly what I had dug myself into when I welcomed other people into the hell-circle I was stuck in.
    I didn’t want them to come see me. I didn’t want Beth to take time off and Clara to leave Frank and Sara to leave Duncan to come take care of me. I was twenty-four. I should have been able to take care of me.
      The front door opened several hours later and I looked up with a faux look of surprise. Out, I sent them telepathically. Please go.
    “Why are you here?” Tessa rolled her eyes at my question.
    “Boy, don’t pretend like you weren’t listening on my Zoom call with them,” she cracked a smile before reading the room and immediately coming back to our reality. “You know why.”
    “We’re just afraid that there’s more to address than just your changing grief,” Beth began and bile began rising in my throat. It was only a matter of time really, before they put two and two together. I guess I had thought it would take a little longer. Her hand landed in the middle of my back, leading me to the same sofa where Tessa and I had broken down together.
    “Don’t worry about me,” I began confidently. “I’m just-.”
    But then I coughed. I coughed and coughed and the more I tried to regulate my breathing, the harder it was. Choking; gasping.
    Hands rubbed my back while others pushed me down and a another lowered a glass of water into my field of vision. Sip, choke, swallow, repeat until I could finally shakily inhale with difficulty.
    Looking down at me were four sets of beautiful, worried eyes with which I could barely stand to keep contact.
    Clara spoke,
    “Stage three.”     “What?”
    “That’s what you’re in, isn’t it? Frank just… just lost a patient and when I asked him, especially when Tessa told me about all of your shakes and fevers, he said he thinks it's stage three. I think I believe him.”
I was at a complete and utter loss. In my molasses-filled, sloths-paced brain, grief at the loss of Greg drifted beside my own secrets and the suffering of my sisters, bouncing off of one another like oil and water.
    “You don’t understand,” I finally said.
    “Don’t understand what, exactly,” Tessa asked pointedly, further questions and opinions trapped behind pursed lips. I could practically see them stabbing her mouth, begging to be released.
    “Everything!” I exploded. I hadn’t been truly angry yet; up until then anger had taken too much effort. What energy grief didn’t zap from my system the HIV stole for its own selfish purposes. “It’s all connected, isn’t it?” I asked, huffing out laughs like a mad scientist whose madness had taken over the scientist within. “I can’t tell the world about me and Greg because I’m afraid of people finding out I’m not straight. Then I’m with Greg and he’s so afraid of never having love and I love him more than I’ve ever loved anyone in my life, so then we take a risk and guess what? Protection fails. The risk becomes reality and I get HIV but I can’t talk about the love or the disease because it’s been ingrained in me since I was a child that people who get sick with this illness get it as recompense for their actions. I don’t believe it when I look at Greg but when I stare at myself in the mirror all I can hear is Dad’s voice. I go to clinics occasionally but only outside of town and without people I even sort of know because I’m afraid subscribers who have never seen my fucking face will recognize me and assume I’m going there for a reason I don’t want anyone to know about and guess what? They’re right! I don’t want them to know about going to get HIV treatment because I’m afraid of people finding out I’m not straight.”
    “Andrew-.”
    “We keep loving each other because hey, once I’m sick, we might as well, right?”
    “Andrew-.”
    “And then Greg dies. Greg fucking dies and I can’t tell anyone because I don’t have anyone and the only reason I don’t is because I spent the first seventeen years of my life having it ingrained in my mind that if I don't date, marry, and have a family with a beautiful woman, I’m damned to a life of eternal suffering.”
    “But we-.”
    “I can’t tell the gaming community because then Dad could find out. I can’t tell you guys or Mom because I feel bad that I kept it a secret for so long but I had to keep it a secret so I could stay safe and love the man I loved because I knew he didn’t have all the time in the world. So now I’m one serious infection away from dying because I didn’t do serious enough treatments to start with because I was so afraid of people finding out I’m not straight,” I nearly screamed, throat raw, standing up and spinning around to face my audience. “How the fuck am I supposed to deal with all of this?”
From all four sides, warm sweaters hit my torso as each sister came from a different angle and held on tightly, two of them shaking against me with emotion. Long nails raked through my hair, hands rubbed my back and arm and nape of neck; hair tickled my nose. Cold, dry lips pressed against my forehead.
    When I dared to observe who was directly in front of me, Sara had tears running down her slim cheeks.
    “This is why I didn’t want to tell you,” I whispered. “All it’s doing is making you sad.”
    “I would have been sad when you first told me, Andrew. Nothing keeps human emotion from happening. But you’ve kept it in for so long, and the longer it builds up the more explosive it is when you finally release the valve. If you told me six years ago that you were in love with a boy and were scared, I would have been so proud. I would have supported you in whatever you wanted to do… however you wanted to live your life. If you told me whenever you found out about being sick that you were sick, I would have been devastated. I still am. It’s just… complicated now,” she petered off as the others nodded in agreement.
    “I’m not mad at you, in case you think that,” Clara spoke. “I don’t think any of us are. In a way it’s nice to finally know all your dirty laundry so we can be here as a family. I know you have your reasons for doing what you did. We all do. There’s a lot to sort out. A lot to do. A lot of catching up that has to take place.”
    “There’s no timeline for this stuff,” Beth began and before I could stop myself, I opened my mouth,
    “AIDS, Beth. A. I. D. S.”
    “Grief, Andrew. G. R. I. E. F.”
    “Awesome,” I mumbled. “How am I supposed to do this?”
    “Not alone. We need to get you a doctor here,” Tessa said with a sad expression that, for a brief moment, I wanted to smack off of her face. “I haven’t seen you go since we moved. You don’t want to, but we don’t want to lose you.” I wanted to lose me but that was beside the point so I kept the words inside. “I can’t lose you,” she managed and faint sounds of stifled sadness cut through the quiet.
    “I know you want to go,” Beth said as Clara and Sara ushered Tessa away from the scene. “Not to the doctor, but to him. You want to go to Greg. Right now what we say won’t change that. Nothing we say will change how you feel. Nothing feels worth living for right now and I know that. When you go through something like this, you can tell other people you really do know what they’re going through. We aren’t worth living for right now and I understand that. There isn’t much we can do, but what we can do is make sure you’re eating and at least taking some medication. There isn’t much more to do right now than sustain yourself. Let us help.”
    “Okay.”     “You loved him. I understand that,” Beth whispered, wrapping her arms around me. “And you both did what you could with the time you had. Life’s unfair. I don’t know why things happen to people the way they do. I’m sorry.”
    “Why wasn’t my best good enough?”
    “Oh, Andrew. It was. I promise. There are just some things we can’t control. It’s horrible, isn’t it?”
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