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#cw grief
amaryllidaceaee · 2 days
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5ftboy · 5 months
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"We never said that we think you should've been with grandpa." "You won't even tell us what happened to him."
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tangledinink · 9 months
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i can regret the situation without regretting my choices. i would never take it back.
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bunfloras · 1 year
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this hit me like a fucking truck. literally just started sobbing. all of the aro/ace people who found comfort in his content and headcanoning his character. man.
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icaruspendragon · 3 months
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hi i just wanted to share one of the most profound things a stranger on the internet has said to me, a fellow stranger on the internet.
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you get angry because you know what’s happened was unacceptable.
grief is cyclical, grace is needed.
grace is needed.
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amaryllidae · 7 months
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her fiercest warrior
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elbowreveal · 1 year
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Ok. Perhaps I now am crying.
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pillowspace · 6 months
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Hi, it's like almost 4 in the morning, but I suddenly had an angsty Time Loop AU realization that was like semi-horrifying and I kept thinking about it, so.
It could be easy to write off Sun and Moon as not really having to face much trauma during the time loops, while just Y/N does. But when you take into account that Y/N's the only one who knows they'll be okay in the end, the loops in which Y/N dies are devestating on Sun and Moon. Because they're not constantly in virus mode. Moon has moments. A lot of moments, but they pass. The virus eases up. And the loops aren't dependant on Y/N, they're dependant on the day of the fire, meaning that they're just kind of in sleep mode until time's up to bring them back. So Sun and Moon just have to deal with the burden of what's happened to Y/N until time resets, and they're not waiting for that reset to happen, because they don't know it's coming. Sometimes it all went wrong early on, and those times were easier. Sometimes it all went wrong much too late when they already loved you, and those times broke them.
Maybe just the faintest phantom memory of what that loss felt like slips through on Y/N's next "first day" of the job (if we're sticking to Eclipse having the memories, then it'd be a fun thought to consider the tiniest of memories slipping through sometimes), and Sun and Moon are both confused by the sudden wave of relief-desperation-anguish-love-guilt-guilt-guilt they randomly feel upon Sun meeting you. The feeling's easy to discard, but they don't understand why it happened. They suspect it to be a bug. Just a quick second of confusion in the programming that runs what emotions they feel.
After the loops, Sun and Moon remember every single day they spent genuinely believing Y/N was gone forever, and that hurts. And honestly, I'm caught between saying "they never let go of Y/N afterwards" and "they're too scared to hold Y/N anymore." Perhaps it's both. Perhaps they want to hold onto Y/N, and Y/N is the one who has to help them learn that's okay. I did put post-loops Y/N down as "very cuddly," after all.
Mm. Anyway. I should sleep
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hypnoneghoul · 3 months
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ghouls don't usually die on earth, it's very rare. usually they return to the pit and continue living there like before they got summoned in the first place. but earth is weird and sometimes they die or get killed. just normally, like humans. what they are still returns to the pit, but it's different
what if their bodies don't turn to dust? they get buried. not like humans, tho, at least not exactly
the caskets are bigger, nearly double. the ghoul's right arm is lifted and the hand is set in the as above so below sign. you'd think the left one should be too, right? no, that's actually rare
when a ghoul is buried with both hands doing the as above so below sign its tragic, really
usually the left arm is laid down along their body but the hand is open, palm up. they're not laid in the middle of the casket, there's space on the left
they wait
they wait for their mate to join them. hand open and relaxed, waiting for another hand to fall into it
usually they don't have to wait long. grief is deadly for a ghoul. they don't even have to it themselves
when the second joins the first it's their left arm hand that completes as above so below. in those rare instances that more than two ghouls are mated the chain goes on and the last one completes it
it's tragic when the dead ghoul makes the as above so below sign by themself because it means they're alone. it means that for the next eternity in hell they'll be alone, without a mate
usually this is the case only in those very rare situations when a ghoul mates a human
omega was the only abbey ghoul ever that died out of grief but still had to make the sign himself
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coffeebanana · 11 months
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This was supposed to be for the Ladrien June prompt "morning", but I didn't feel like waiting another week or so 😂.
Excerpt:
[CW for grief/mourning and recent character death (Gabriel)]
Adrien cleared his throat. "I...ran into Chat Noir outside. He said he had to go, but he told me..." He took a deep breath, continuing in a whisper. "I know my father's dead." It was the first time he'd said it out loud, and the words came out surprisingly clear. It was only afterwards, when they hung in the awkward silence following Ladybug's sharp intake of air, that he felt like they were eating him from the inside out. Ladybug's grip tightened. "I'm sorry, Adrien. I'm so sorry."
Read on Ao3, or under the cut!! 💜
The rising sun hit Adrien's back as he forced his front door open, its light casting an eerie glow over the mansion’s battle-torn foyer. Half the ceiling was caved in. The staircase was all but destroyed. And scraps of metal amongst the wreckage glinted gold, like the dying embers of a fire. Like the end of an era.
It wasn't the victory it should have been.
As the door slipped from his fingers, Adrien squeezed his eyes shut and stopped to take a few steadying breaths—a dangerous idea. Police officers were still on site, gathering evidence amidst the wreckage. One of them could easily notice him, and then he might get stuck answering their questions. He needed to move. He needed to remember the simple instructions he'd outlined for himself before walking back inside.
Sneak into the kitchen. Grab food for Plagg. Get out.
Run.
He could cover his tracks later. It wouldn't be too hard to find an excuse for Ladybug as to why Chat Noir hadn't come back after he allegedly went outside to recharge. It would definitely be easier than facing her as his civilian self—as Monarch's son—right now.
But hesitation had cost him. "Adrien?"
Ladybug.
Unable to reply or to so much as glance in her direction, Adrien stared resolutely at a piece of rubble by his feet—a piece which he thought used to be part of the bannister. Tears burned the corner of his eyes, but he did his best to blink them away.
He tensed when he heard her approach, something he wouldn't have noticed so quickly if it weren't for the debris scattered about. Any other day, her footsteps would have barely made a sound against the marble floors.
Too soon, her feet stopped in front of him. He struggled to keep his breaths even, fighting to remain upright when it felt like the entire world was closing in around him.
"I...I thought you were at Nino's," she said.
Had he told her that? He barely remembered any of the excuses he'd made last night. It was hard to recall much aside from how he'd awoken a few hours earlier to find his father's body splayed unnaturally across the floor, his vacant stare somehow still bearing traces of disappointment.
The ambulance had pulled away maybe an hour ago, with no sirens to accompany its departure.
Adrien only realized Ladybug was probably waiting for a response when she grabbed his hand, pulling him back to the present with a gentle squeeze. His stomach swirled. Couldn't she have reached for his other side?
She deserved better than the hand he'd used to destroy his own father.
When he finally managed to look up, he only felt worse seeing the sympathy in her eyes. He quickly looked back to his feet, panic drowning out any response he tried to cobble together in his head.
"Has anyone told you what happened?" she asked.
Adrien almost said no—which would be the truth, technically. Nobody had told him, unless he counted the clarifications Plagg had provided after the fact, details of what occurred after Ladybug and Chat Noir fell victim to Monarch's Akuma. Part of him wondered how Ladybug would tell the story, which parts would she soften or leave out. He wondered what she really thought.
But maybe it was better not to know.
Adrien cleared his throat. "I...ran into Chat Noir outside. He said he had to go, but he told me..." He took a deep breath, continuing in a whisper. "I know my father's dead."
It was the first time he'd said it out loud, and the words came out surprisingly clear. It was only afterwards, when they hung in the awkward silence following Ladybug's sharp intake of air, that he felt like they were eating him from the inside out.
Ladybug's grip tightened. "I'm sorry, Adrien. I'm so sorry."
His gut coiled tightly with some unbearable emotion. He tried to think up something else to say, lips parting as he raised his head to look at her. But the second he met her eyes—so wide and blue and sad—speaking was a lost cause.
His lips quivered. A sob clawed its way up his throat, tugging another one up behind it before the first had even broken free. Ladybug's hand rubbed up and down his arm, and that was all the encouragement he needed to finally release the tsunami inside him.
Adrien had killed his own father.
For months he'd been suffering. Adrien had assumed, when Monarch reappeared from his brief hiatus, that he was okay. That the Cataclysm hadn't been fatal. Instead he'd had a front row seat to his demise—to all the times he cried out in pain while cooking breakfast, trying to pretend everything was fine whenever Adrien noticed.
But if it weren't for that Cataclysm, if Monarch's health hadn't been weakened, then the world might have ended a few hours ago, torn apart and rebuilt in his father’s image. With his parents and Nathalie still alive.
How was he meant to feel about that?
He didn't even know where he was supposed to sleep tonight.
But at least Ladybug didn't hate him. At least he still had one friend in this crazy, twisted world.
She pulled him into her arms as he broke down in tears, as he crumpled like the ceiling and shattered like the windows. As he was reduced to nothing but a shaky foundation, to the dying embers of who he used to be.
Adrien and his cold, lonely home finally had something in common.
...
"Here you go," Ladybug said, sliding a mug of tea across the kitchen counter as she settled onto the stool beside him.
Adrien wrapped his hands around the mug. The water was still too hot, but it took him a few seconds to notice. By the time he loosened his grip, his fingers already stung.
"Thanks," he croaked, his throat raw from crying. He wasn't really the biggest fan of tea, but it had seemed to make Ladybug feel better having some way to help him.
The least he could do was pretend she'd succeeded.
For a while they sat in silence. Adrien stared blankly at his tea, vaguely aware of how Ladybug kept shifting around like she couldn't get comfortable.
"Do you...have any questions?" she asked eventually.
He shook his head. None of his questions were for the living.
"Well," she said, "if you think of any later...I'd be happy to answer if I can. And if there's anything else I can do..." She reached out slowly to touch his shoulder, and it was all he could do not to shake her off. "Is there anywhere you'd like to go? Someone you'd like to see?"
Adrien fiddled with the string of his tea bag, watching it bob up and down. "Am I even allowed?"
"What do you mean?"
"To leave."
"Why wouldn't you be?" When he shrugged, her hand slipped from his shoulder. She slid her stool closer. "Adrien, you're not in trouble. Nobody thinks you had anything to do with any of this."
Maybe they should.
Adrien swallowed. "But...don't I have to talk to a social worker or something?"
"Oh. I, um...I don't know. I guess so, but there's nobody here right now, so...I don't think anyone would mind if I took you somewhere else to wait."
He nodded slowly, hand moving automatically to his pocket. He shifted to pull out the lucky charm he kept there, wrapping his fingers tightly around it. "Maybe I could go to my girlfriend's house."
"That sounds like a great idea," Ladybug said, jumping to her feet. "Let's go!"
Adrien remained glued in his seat, his stomach swirling. Seeing Marinette probably would make him feel better—at least on the surface. But how long could that last? Hiding his identity hadn't really come between them since they'd gotten together, but this was different. How could he hide the worst thing he'd ever done?
But what if he told her and she never looked at him the same way?
Ladybug's stool scraped against the floor as she sat back down, and she sounded upset when she spoke. "Do you not want to go?"
Adrien set the lucky charm on the table and watched the beads blur behind fresh tears. "I'm...scared."
"Why?"
"Because...what if Marinette sees me differently."
"Do you really believe she would?" Ladybug asked in a small voice.
He thought for a moment. "No? I don't know. Probably not, but...she could."
She grabbed his hand, and when he glanced her way there was an intensity in her eyes he couldn't interpret. "I'm sure she won't."
"You can't know that."
"But I do! I—she loves you, right?"
Adrien's stomach clenched, but he managed a nod as a hot tear rolled down his cheek.
"Exactly!" Ladybug said, gesturing nonsense with her free hand. "So there!"
He mustered a small smile for her enthusiasm, but it was short-lived. "It doesn't matter," he said, wiping his eyes. "Things are different now."
"Sure. But...that doesn't mean everything has to change, right?"
He didn't answer, trying to ignore the feelings swirling inside him by poking at his tea bag again. The water was cool enough now that it didn't hurt when he accidentally dipped his finger in, but the idea of actually taking a sip and swallowing seemed foreign. So he kept staring at it until a sniffle came from beside him. He turned to see Ladybug with one hand covering her mouth, tears trickling down her cheeks.
"My lady?" he said without thinking, reaching over to set a hand on her shoulder. Panic spiked through him when he realized what he'd called her, but she didn't seem to notice.
"I'm sorry!" she cried. "I didn't mean to...I'm f-fine! It's just that you—I just want to help you! But maybe I c-can't. And it's not f-fair, that you're hurting. And..."
Her next words were drowned out by a sob. She slumped down on the table, hiding her face in her arms. All Adrien could do was sit there rubbing her back until she calmed down, at which point she pushed herself up slowly, wiping her eyes.
"I'm sorry I let this happen," she said.
"What?" Adrien replayed her words in his head, certain he'd misunderstood. "It wasn't your fault."
"It was my job to stop Monarch from making the wish, and I...failed. Even if he didn't succeed...someone's still paying the price."
"That's ridiculous." It was his fault.
"Adrien, it's fine. You don't have to..." She drew in a shaky breath. "If you're mad at me, I understand."
None of the morning had felt real, but now Adrien was sure he must be caught in some sort of alternate reality.
Maybe the wish had worked. Maybe his mother would walk into the kitchen at any moment.
If only.
"That makes no sense," Adrien said slowly, still trying to wrap his head around things. "If anything, it's Chat Noir's fault."
Ladybug's eyes went wide. "Did he tell you that?"
How was he meant to answer that? "Not...exactly. But he told me about the Cataclysm, and—"
"Please don't blame him for that. I know he feels terrible enough already."
"Because Monarch's dead thanks to him. It's his fault!"
"It's not," Ladybug pleaded. "He was just following my plan, and Monarch caught us off guard, and then..."
"But...but you..." Adrien trailed off, his body shaking.
He didn't know what to say, because technically Ladybug was right. But he didn't blame her at all, and he certainly didn't want her blaming herself.
"It was my fault," he said, knowing it was true. He felt it with every inch of his body, with every useless breath he took.
The guilt consumed him.
"Adrien," Ladybug breathed. "It's absolutely not your fault. How could you even think that?"
Only once he processed her words did he recognize his own misstep. But she hadn't caught on yet. He could still walk this back.
But he wasn't sure he wanted to.
This secret took too energy much to hide.
"It was me,” he said shakily. “It was my..."
He couldn't finish the sentence. He could barely even breathe. But he could see in Ladybug’s eyes that she still didn't understand, so he raised his hand to mimic the motion, stretching out his fingers the way he would if he'd really called on his power. He tried to mouth the word too, but he wasn't really sure his lips obeyed. Slowly, he lowered his hand to the counter, letting it collapse into a fist when he made contact.
Cataclysm.
He watched as realization slowly dawned on her. Then she blinked hard, shaking her head as if trying to dismiss the idea. But her eyes flew to the ring on his hand, widening further.
“Chat Noir?”
"I did this," he said in a broken whisper. "I killed him."
"Oh, Chaton. No." Ladybug stood, wrapping her arms around him. "It was an accident. It's not your fault."
Adrien thought that maybe, if he kept taking breaths so small they barely counted, if he let his mind float away the way it had been threatening to do all morning, then maybe—maybe—he could keep from crying again. But Ladybug rested her head on his shoulder, her warm breath ruffling his T-shirt. And that was all it took for him to come apart again.
...
They ended up on the floor, wedged between both stools. Adrien wasn't sure if he'd fallen off his seat at some point or if Ladybug had carried him here. He didn't care. As long as he could keep lying here with his head in Ladybug's lap and her fingers in his hair, he could somehow keep the guilt at bay. He could stop it from devouring him whole.
But he couldn't stay here forever.
Marinette's lucky charm was clenched in his fist again, and he was afraid to let go.
"Should I tell her?" Adrien asked.
"Hm?"
"Marinette. Should I..." He closed his eyes. "Do you think she'd hate me if I told her the truth?"
Ladybug let out a shaky breath, her fingers freezing in his hair. "She won't hate you. And...yes. I think you should tell her."
"Okay. Maybe I will."
"How about this?" Ladybug said. "If she breaks up with you, I'll date you instead."
Adrien managed some semblance of a laugh. "What about your boyfriend?”
“Mmm." She twisted another strand of hair around her finger. "Somehow I don’t think he’ll mind.”
“All right then. It’s a deal.”
Her offer was a joke—he knew that. But somehow it still felt like a promise.
"Would you...like me to take you to her now?”Ladybug asked. “I still can, if you want."
"Maybe." He thought of the bakery. Of Tom and Sabine's welcoming smiles, the smell of croissants, and being wrapped up in one of Marinette's hugs. It sounded nice. "Give me five more min—" He broke off in a yawn.
Ladybug laughed. "Or you can get some sleep first." Her voice was gentle and steady and safe. "I'll stay with you."
He tried to reply, but his words were engulfed by another yawn. So he settled for mumbling his agreement, squeezing the lucky charm to his chest, and letting his eyes flutter closed.
Maybe in his dreams, the world wouldn't hurt so much.
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bloompompom · 5 months
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with the holidays right around the corner i just wanted to say i love you friends who have complicated relationships with their family, i love you friends who have no relationship with their family, i love you friends who don’t want to see their family but have to, i love you friends who so badly want to see their family but can’t, i love you friends with no family to celebrate with, i love you friends with family they can’t celebrate the way they want to with. i love you everyone grieving life not panning out the way we wanted it to but still going on every day 🤍 you are absolutely not alone
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zorosdimples · 7 months
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i have set up a blanket fort in my living room, i just made some hot chocolate, and i have some of your favorite snacks. so come chill with me for a moment while we sit shoulder to shoulder and i give you some reminders:
1. you are going to be okay.
i know it doesn’t feel like it, but you will be okay, i promise. i am offering you hugs and kisses and back rubs. i can’t make it feel better, but i promise, things will get better.
2. it’s normal and okay to grieve.
“but he’s a fictional character,” you say. “how can it be normal that i feel like i lost someone?”
because you did. we get attached to characters for a reason. they are created and written so that we love them and care about them. you did lose someone— grieving is normal and healthy.
3. fanon exists for a reason.
when a character dies in canon, that doesn’t mean that they cease to exist. they live on with us and within our writing. it is up to us to give them the life they deserved!
i love you all and hope you hang in there. i’m here for you if you want to talk <3
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alsklingwille · 2 months
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i wonder if this scene has something to do with wille’s grief. wille appears to have all of his walls up and seems really angry or shut down in this scene. it could be directed at simon, but i think it’s likely and in character for him to be going through something deeper internally and unable to express that others yet. maybe it’s some kind of pressure building that he’s disappointing erik if he’s considering abdication? and maybe simon said something that hit a nerve and that’s why simon feels helpless - cause now wille’s shut him out. we’ve seen this behavior before in wille quite literally shutting his mom out of erik’s room to have a moment of missing his big brother, so it’s safe to say that’s a defense mechanism when he feels like someone doesn’t understand. and he seems to be having other moments in s3 where he’s also extremely frustrated and dysregulated, so could be a bunch of things boiling up at once.
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icaruspendragon · 3 months
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enjoy a first draft
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galehive · 3 months
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this is one of my favorite short films and the kind of content aware scale thing that they do with her face in this moment is just. obscenely, grievously effective to me
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chaotic-goodsir · 2 months
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Thinking about Spankoffski-Cross family headcanons again, the implications of Wilbur being 10 years younger than Annie and only 9 years older than Ted, and the story behind the 'Uncle Wiley' character...
(It's gonna be sad I'm sorry)
*
In 1992, 17-year-old Wilbur Cross graduates high school early with a place on a college physics course. It doesn't start until September, but he seizes the opportunity to escape his parents as soon as possible.
That summer, Wilbur moves in with his sister Annie and her family in Hatchetfield, and agrees to help out by babysitting his 8-year-old nephew Teddy. He even brings a bunch of his old superhero comics in the hope of winning the kid's approval.
Teddy knows he has an uncle - his mom sometimes mentions her brother (she always calls him Wiley), but he's never met or spoken to him before. His grandparents down in Georgia, who he's also never met, made sure of that. He's always assumed his uncle must be a grown-up like his parents, so he's surprised when 'Uncle Wiley' turns out to be a teenager.
Naturally, the first thing Teddy asks Wilbur when he meets him is: 'Why aren't you old?'
Wilbur is slightly terrified by the prospect of looking after an 8-year-old. But after a few months helping Teddy learn how to ride a bike and listening to his nephew ramble about random kid nonsense (he ends up learning a lot about Transformers that summer) he decides it isn't so bad.
Getting to spend time with his sister and her husband isn't too bad either. Annie teaches him how to make chilli so he won't starve at college, and Ed tries to convince him to cut his hair (he doesn't).
As the summer goes on, the 'why aren't you old?' thing turns into an in-joke between Wilbur and Teddy - each adding more to the Uncle Wiley character until he becomes a pipe-smoking sailor with a beard and a silly voice (since Teddy loves doing impressions so much). Before Wilbur leaves, Teddy draws him a picture of Uncle Wiley. It's far from a work of art, but it ends up on the wall in Wilbur's room at college - much to the amusement of his roommate.
*
Thirteen years later, Ted Spankoffski is halfway through his own college course, depressed and disillusioned after losing Jenny to Andy Kilgore. He's hungover (or maybe still half-drunk) on a Saturday morning when his mom calls, almost in tears, to tell him his uncle has been declared missing in action.
That sobers him up pretty quickly.
The last time he saw his uncle alive was at Pete's christening. Wilbur asked how his first year of college was going, and seemed genuinely interested, though he was surprised Teddy chose to study IT and not theatre. They joked about the old sailor character and the impressions Teddy used to do.
(Ted never learned exactly what Wilbur did for a living, something to do with science and the military, but he was always vague about the details.)
The drawing - paper now yellowed and crumpled at the edges - returns to the Spankoffskis (along with a box of old science fiction novels and a few other things of Wilbur's that John felt ought to be sent back to his family). Ted keeps it. Sometimes, when he's not sure how to be a good big brother to Pete, he takes it out and thinks about that summer in 1992, and the teenage uncle who helped him finally learn how to ride a bike.
*
In 2019, the homeless man who currently sleeps outside Hatchetfield Mall starts to notice posters going up for some new children's toy. At first it's not the toy that interests him, but the mascot character holding it - and the toy company's name.
It's strange. He's sure he had an Uncle Wiley once - his uncle might even have been a sailor, like the one on the posters, with a pipe and a beard and a funny voice...
The homeless man decides he's going to buy one of the Wiggly dolls. It will make Petey happy. It will prove he's a good big brother, despite the mess his life and mind have become. And if it really is his Uncle Wiley selling the toys, then he should support a family business, shouldn't he? His dad always used to say the Spankoffskis were entrepreneurs.
He might even get a discount. That would be nice.
With a determined smile, the homeless man counts up all the money he has to his name, tucks it into his pocket, and joins the queue outside Toyzone on Black Friday.
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