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6lostgirl6 · 3 months

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Yandere Alphabet - Demon!Dean Winchester

TW: Toxic Relationship, Possessive Behavior, Controlling Behavior, Hints of Physical Abuse, Hints of Verbal Abuse, Kidnapping, Mentions of Murder, Isolation And Spanking As Punishment, Cursing, Manipulation. A/N: Please inform me if I did not tag something correctly. Please know the difference between fictional and reality. While fictional, these types of relationships are extremely toxic, especially in real-life. If your relationship is showcasing these toxic behaviors, please seek help from someone to get out safely. Reblogs are heavily appreciated!!

Affection: How do they show their love and affection? How intense would it get?

He’s a physical lover, and he doesn’t give two fucks about PDA. He’ll kiss and touch you whenever and wherever he likes. He always gives you heated, passionate kisses while grasping all over your body and pressing you up against him. When he’s really affected, he’ll growl while kissing you, and his eyes will flash black on occasion.

Blood: How messy are they willing to get when it comes to their darling?

Very messy. Demon Dean, at this point, is a malevolent being and will resort to more grotesque methods when it comes to his darling. Even if it means killing innocent people who look at you the wrong way or dare touch you, well, try. He’ll break the person’s bones before they even lay a finger on you.

Cruelty: How would they treat their darling once abducted? Would they mock them?

Depending on how you react to the situation, his treatment of you varies. If you behave, he'll treat you good by his definition. However, if you react badly, he's going to not react well. Yes, he’ll mock you, because we need to remember that he may love you, but that doesn't change his nature. He has a cruel sense of humor.

Darling: Aside from abduction, would they do anything against their darling’s will?

He’ll make you come with him on his killing sprees. You’re not a fan of blood; that’s too bad. You’ll just have to get used to it, because that’s all you’re ever going to see besides him. Blood and carnage.

Exposed: How much of their heart do they bare to their darling? How vulnerable are they when it comes to their darling?

Demon Dean still has some of his old traits from when he was human. He doesn't like expressing his emotions until he trusts you enough. Which would take a long time. However, when he finally trusts you, he’ll be more open about his feelings for you. He still keeps things close to his chest, though he might never speak with you about it.

Fight: How would they feel if their darling fought back?

Oh, he’s pissed.

Game: Is this a game to them? How much would they enjoy watching their darling try to escape?

No, your relationship isn't a game to him. But getting you to fall in love with him will be like a game, and he'll triumph. It’s only a matter of time. Demon Dean wouldn't like seeing you try to escape; it would automatically anger him. He’ll lash out at you.

Hell: What would be their darling’s worst experience with them?

Your worst experience with him would be your fights with him. He's scary when he’s angry, especially when it's towards you. He’ll practically scream in your face and manhandle you. Another thing would be him forcing you to see his killing sprees. He doesn't trust you enough to leave you on your own, so you'll have to witness his brutality.

Ideals: What kind of future do they have in mind for/with their darling?

When it comes to your future with him, you’re stuck with him, and not even death would separate you. He’ll secretly try to uncover a way to turn you into a demon. You'll be isolated from hunters; demons wouldn't dare approach you. He’s the only thing you’ll ever need; nobody else can help you.

Jealousy: Do they get jealous? Do they lash out or find a way to cope?

Extremely, however, it’s not because he’s insecure; you simply belong to him and are completely off-limits. Coping, what’s that? He’s going to lash out in a violent way at the person attempting to flirt with you. He left people bloodied to a pulp on the floor before, and he has done worse.

Kisses: How do they act around or with their darling?

It’s discrete, but he’s a little softer around you, and he would let you get away with small things that he wouldn’t tolerate if it were another person. As a demon, he’s not afraid to show you how deep his love runs for you. He’s clingy and always has a hand grabbing you somewhere. He’s very possessive, and he tends to keep you to himself.

Love letters: How would they go about courting or approaching their darling?

When it comes to demon dean, there is no time for courting or lightly approaching you about his feelings. When he kidnapped you, there were no romantic gestures or heartfelt confessions; you simply belonged to him, and you need to get used to it.

Mask: Are their true colors drastically different from the way they act around everyone else?

Of course, Dean treats you differently compared to others. He’s less rough around the edge, and he does try to control his temper better around you. You’re his, and he doesn’t mistreat what belongs to him.

Naughty: How would they punish their darling?

Depending on what you do, however, he'll simply tie you to the bedpost and keep you there until you learn your lesson. He would never intentionally hurt you, but he will force you over your lap and smack your ass until you’re begging for forgiveness. Trust me, he wouldn’t make it fun for you.

Oppression: How many rights would they take away from their darling?

The better question is: how many rights would he allow you to have? All you need to do around him is eat, sleep, and look pretty for him. Misbehave, and you’re going to be chained to the bed again.

Patience: How patient are they with their darling?

He will have zero patience with you, so you better behave for your own sake. He's not afraid of punishing you, however he sees fit, because you didn’t listen to him or try to escape. Therefore, try not to upset him too much.

Quit: If their darling dies, leaves, or successfully escapes, would they ever be able to move on?

No, he would never move on. If you died or were killed, his rampage would be talked about in Hell for centuries. If you manage to escape, it won’t last long. He’s going to get you back, whatever it takes, so enjoy the freedom while it lasts.

Regret: Would they ever feel guilty about abducting their darling? Would they ever let their darling go?

Ha! Hell no. However, after being cured, he will feel horrible for how he treated you. He’ll feel ashamed that his darker feelings for you were brought to light. He really does love you, but the demonic side of him has horrible ways of showing it.

Stigma: What brought about this side of them (childhood, curiosity, etc)?

His transformation into a demon allowed his yandere tendencies to be brought to the surface. He doesn’t have to hold back his urges anymore, and why would he want to?

Tears: How do they feel about seeing their darling scream, cry, and/or isolate themselves?

Of course he doesn’t like it; he prefers you being obedient and rather docile. He would never admit this, but he would want you to be happy with him, even as a demon. If you try avoiding him, he’ll keep bugging you and forcing you to talk to him. He lacks patience, so your screams and cries will only make him angrier the longer you keep having tantrums.

Unique: Would they do anything different from the classic yandere?

Demon Dean would never hurt you intentionally, especially by abusing you to make you cooperate. Sure, when he lashes out, there may be a few accidents, but that’s all they are. Accidents.

Vice: What weakness can their darling exploit in order to escape?

There are two things you could use: his killing urges and/or feeding into his ego. If you want to play the waiting game, you would have to gain his trust enough to allow you to be out of his sight. Simply pretending to love him won’t be enough because he’ll see right through you. When he goes on his killing sprees, leaving you behind for once will be your chance and only chance to escape. You better protect yourself; he will find you.

Wit’s end: Would they ever hurt their darling?

No matter how much he cares about you, he will hurt your feelings at times, especially when he flirts with other women in front of you. When he’s extremely angry or has the itching need to kill something, you need to stay out of his way. He will lash out at you with hurtful words and potential bruises.

Xoanon: How much would they revere or worship their darling? To what length would they go to win their darling over?

Demon Dean cares about you despite who he is, and he doesn’t like upsetting you. You’re not much fun with tears in your eyes. As a demon, you’re the only one that makes him feel things—feelings he used to hide within when he was human. Anyway, he would go to the ultimate length to win you over. He’s not going to beg on his knees for your love, but he’ll show you how much he worships you in his own way. You want him to kill someone and bring you their head? He'll do it.

Yearn: How long do they pine after their darling before they snap?

After Dean became a demon and left with Crowley, he didn’t take you with him at the time, no matter how much he wanted to. However, you’ve never left his thoughts, no matter how much he tried to drink your sweet voice away. You haunted him for months until he finally snapped and came after you.

Zenith: Would they ever break their darling?

If Dean was never cured or you never managed a way to escape from him, he’ll find a way to break you and make you depend solely on him. Make you finally see that he is the only thing that would kill to keep you safe. One way or another, he’ll make you fall for him.

Taglist: Comment to be added/removed!!

@prettywhenibleed @britany1997 @rottent33th @slaasherslut @huntressandlioness1 @wraith-posts @schizonephilim

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lumidles · 2 months

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“Husk would work better as a mentor figure to Angel”

I understand where this take comes from, but I think it has more to do with how the characters are subconsciously perceived as rather than the actual contents of their characters and dynamics together. People who say this are mistaking Husk as a narrative role model for Angel when their purpose (at this point) is to be narrative parallels. I think Husk and Angel work infinitely better as equals.

"Age Coding"

If you ask the average casual Hazbin viewer how old they assumed Angel was when watching the series, they would likely say somewhere in his mid-20s. Husk might have more variation, but everyone would agree he’s meant to come across as an older, more jaded character. A “grumpy old man” archetype.

Assuming that the information on the characters’ ages and years of death are not drastically different from the Pilot’s canon, we know that Angel died in 1947 in his mid-30s, while Husk died in the 1970s in his 60s-70s. This would mean they, at most, have an age gap of around 10 years which is negligible when they are both adults that have existed for over 100 years. I take information that was canonized in the Pilot era with a grain of salt, but I think it’s at the very least safe to assume they are both around 100 years old when combining their time on Earth and in Hell based on the motifs of their designs.

We know that they both have a similar amount of life experience, but the “age coding” (for lack of a better term) of these characters already gives people a subconscious feeling that Husk is much older and wiser, and is therefore a fitting mentor for someone like Angel, despite the fact that Angel has been in Hell longer than Husk. This is amplified by the bartender trope that Husk fulfills; a blunt and perceptive “older” character like him would make sense to be the role model in most series. The problem is that it doesn't fully apply here.

Husk’s Assumptions

Husk shows a lot of self awareness, a common trait for a mentor that has done a lot of self-reflection to have. When Angel asks for a strong drink after a long day, Husk warns him that it won’t solve his problems.

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“If you’ve got a problem you’re not going to find the solution at the bottom of a bottle. I should know, I’ve been looking there a long time.” (0:17-0:41)

Important things to note here:

Husk isn’t on the “other side” of dealing with these issues, it's an ongoing struggle for him still. He cannot give advice beyond deterring Angel from going down that path

He’s assuming Angel doesn’t already know this or that he doesn’t fully understand how using alcohol to cope can hurt him

Angel, not wanting to actually get into the conversation, deflects by flirting with Husk. Husk calls him out for being fake and this is what gets Angel to snap. Not because he doesn’t agree with Husk, but because he feels Husk doesn’t understand why that persona is so important to him.

Angel’s persona is not only what he’s loved and famous for, it’s what keeps him safe. It’s a big part of his work. Husk challenging and insulting that is a hit to Angel’s already fragile ego. (But that’s a ramble for another day).

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(6:52-7:04)

After Angel storms out and Vaggie tells Husk to go after him, Husk says “it’s just Angel, he’ll be fine.” He’s assuming Angel is just being sensitive after feeling called out. This isn’t completely wrong, but he fails to consider how his outburst might run deeper than that.

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(0:49-1:25)

You can see Husk’s guilt and surprise in this scene. He knew Angel was putting on a front and correctly clocked that Angel uses his persona to cover his insecurity and to gain some feeling of control, but he made the assumption that Angel’s fake and self-sabotaging behaviors were not things that Angel was actively self-aware about.

Angel is extremely self-aware about his own situation. He knows exactly what he’s doing; it’s a calculated recklessness. This is one of the biggest reasons why Husk wasn’t made to be a mentor figure for Angel. Both of them can identify the issues in their lives, and both of them don’t know how to go about fixing it.

Husk and Angel as Parallels

Husk and Angel both know they're engaging in self-destructive behavior, and they both know why they do so. Husk and Angel are both under the control of someone who owns their soul. Husk and Angel are parallels and this is the purpose of “Loser, Baby” and the scene leading up to it. The point of the song isn’t for Angel to realize that he’s in a rough situation, the point is for him to realize that he’s not alone.

Their friendship is based on them seeing each other as equals, which is part of why I enjoy them so much. Charlie is Angel’s mentor, Husk is his confidant.

I think it’s pretty clear that Husk and Angel will be going in a romantic direction in season 2 which I'm excited for. I do think they’re endgame, but I’m not against a platonic outcome for them. There are a lot of ways it could work.

My main point is that they help each other, rather than Husk only helping Angel. They both gained a friendship and a shoulder to lean on from someone who understands.

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"I just got used to you guys... I ain't finding no new drinking buddies" (7:04-7:09)

#hazbin hotel #hazbin #hazbin angel dust #angel dust #angel dust hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel husk #hazbin husk #husk #huskerdust #character analysis #Youtube

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mbslost · 2 months

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hi. yes i came back for another yapping session, ironic.

i would like to express some of my feelings towards... some interesting things.

1. The Strade nazi drawing

i talked about his before, i am aware, but later (while reading other opinions as well) i got reminded about EP (Electricpuke for those who dont know him). did we all forgot HOW MANY nazi drawings he made? dont you believe that's an influence as well? if i remember correctly, Gato cut ties with him because of his abusive behaviour (there arent many people talking about this but some user are aware about his actions. sadly i wasnt in the community when that happened)

literally there are people calling Gato a nazi when she doesn't support the ideology. why did no one act the same with EP? different standards? the fact he left (probably) for good? still its not an excuse to call Gato a nazi. also she apologised multiple times. again MULTIPLE TIMES. even in the callout post in twt you can see the fact she IS sorry for drawing that. that she REGRETS it

edit: kay found a ss on tt from the user @/gorturic where Gato said this as well

again, she doesn't support any nazi shit :/

2. The way others silence opinions that they dont like

im not saying you should be forced to agree with it, but when you make a callout account, normally, you let multiple people say their opinions over that thing. you can even show proof when you see someone is wrong. thats how argument work, crazy ik.

i start to see that if you defend Gato or just leave the community because the fandom its on thin ice, you'll be harassed and bullied for your choices. first of all, HOW ABOUT WE LEAVE PEOPLE THAT DONT WANT TO ASSOCIATE WITH BTD/TPOF ANYMORE ALONE. good? literally saw multiple users being harassed by this. its THEIR decision, suck it up. also can we stop SENDING DEATH THREATS???

or the fact that if you do have a point, they'll immediately cancel it with the "oh but its not important". it can be if you have some proofs for their misinformation (just like i proved the variety of poc characters Gato CREATED. didnt talk about Ren since he's another story)

3. Lack of proof for the side allegations.

if people noticed mods harassing people sm, why didnt they talk? why arent there ss of their conversations? we dont even know (most of us) what they even commented about (aside of Pussyspieler drawing). or the twt user that was wronged. that situation was like.. kind of a "im more autistic so you should shut up" (i have to add that i asked people on the spectrum about this and that was their point of view) of course the mod shouldn't have said it like that but.. its more of a misunderstanding really.. that doesnt mean you cant be upset. you absolutely can. everyone can react differently so dont harass them for feeling down or for being frustrated.

also the spanish (or mexican idk) users that just copied and translated @/renhanasgf posts with little to no new information. just the same thing. (although they said something of Gato not sending merch to latin America. probably because of the laws back then or the fact that the transport fee would be high af. im still searching for the reason tho so ill need some time for that one).

4. This fandom is messed up

people when fans of horror porn games are problematic 🤯. i agree that some people are being like extreme with their reactions, but no one is perfect here. just like i approached the situation completely wrong, they did the same. of course, now if you go around and be a racist piece of shit, you shoudl just stay off the internet for a while. luckily more approach the "like the art not the artist" thing.

look. you can always block users that you dont like (just like i do to those who are either into csam,thanks for telling me ab this term anon!, or incest). i know. shocking that people can block others.

after all these fandoms are not for the weak. there may be some safe spaces in it as well but... lets be real... its still going to be problematic. if you cant handle the community or how others act around here, then id suggest for you to not have a close interaction with others. like uhm, just, appreciate the content, not every person around here. just be aware of the users, stau safe okay?

5. Will i stop yapping?

not until i will see an agreement in the fandom. Gato is a human, of course she will do mistakes. especially if she's anxious or tired. having hundreds of people around you its hard and i can imagine it. having supoortive people only to wake up with people hating you. i hope she's safe and that she wont have to go to the hospital again. i pray for her well being, and to others that got spammed with those disgusting comments.

im not saying we should forget about this like.. her poor management and emotional way of responding to things, but is it truly worth it? to force a person to apologise just because they tried to fix things?

i also dont think ill stop because i just feel like im the only one that does talk here (trying to even prove wrong on some things). if others do it as well, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE TAG ME I WANNA SEE THEM😭 also because most people are still so confused about EVERYTHING. for some reason this drama its only getting more popular on tt for some reason.. which is a big no no since there are a lot of YOUNG people. i believe this should be talked here, and on twitter. (idk what to say about telegram)

ill stop here since my sickness got me. i will edit it later to add or correct myself but *sighs*

please stay safe and try to view more opinions over this. DONT SPAM OR HARASS ANYONE WHO ONLY WANTED TO EXPRESS THEIR FEELINGS. we'll see on Sunday how things will turn out.

(if i missed something out or said something wrong please correct me)

#gatobob #btd #boyfriend to death #tinr #btd2 #i also got tired of this or the multiple hateful messages that i had to delete since there were full of kys #untill then we'll see. i also wish to take a break because i got ill and this axiety aint helping much #whatever happens i wish Gatobob will be safe and will come back without any more backlash.#i do realise that me talking too much wont help either but.. i cant help it. the voices are winning

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captainmalewriter · 2 years

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Concert Hopper

I won't lie, the idea of body swapping seemed absurd when I first heard about it. Even after the first few swaps I experienced I felt pretty weird about it. Being able to move around in a new body while also being able to see your former body move around under someone else's command is a mind boggling experience to say the least.

But the more I swapped, the more I got used to it. In fact, I realized that if I could wield this power correctly, then I could use it to fulfill my greatest desires! And soon enough, that's exactly what my life turned out to be. From burly, muscular bears to thin, pretty boys and to the most average average joe to even A list celebrities, I've gotten a taste of all different types of bodies and lifestyles through the power of body swapping!

With pride month in full swing, I've been busy going to as many pride events as I can. Parades, concerts, circuit parties... if it's gay, I'm there. I'm just lucky that the fatigue doesn't carry over whenever I swap bodies, or else I wouldn't be able to do half the shit I do nowadays.

My latest body had an all access pass to a weekend long EDM pride concert. You can find people "having some extra fun" at the back of the crowd, if you catch my drift. He was so busy making out with some other guy that I swapped our bodies without a problem! I simply patted him on the back, and the swap was complete.

I found myself in my new body with the other guy's tongue still deep inside my new mouth. I could feel my new, hard stick pressing against the other guy, touching our tips as we kissed. I opened my eyes for a brief second and saw my old body looking at his new body with widened eyes. Poor sucker, he has no idea who stole his body.

I pulled the guy he was kissing deep into the crowd and we started rocking out to the concert. Now he'll never be able to find me!

That happened yesterday. It's only Saturday, and I still got two more days of raving before I had to find the next body to swap into.

With such a massive crowd at the concert, I doubt the original owner of my new body would be able to find me. And even if he did, there's nothing he could say or do to me that'll force me to switch us back. I'd simply shake him off in the crowd again. I felt safe and secure in my new body, and with that feeling in mind, I decided to go ahead and help myself to my new body.

But before I did anything, I decided to hit the gym first for a quick pump. It didn't take long to get this body hot and sweaty. This guy wasn't crazy muscular but I could tell he took care of himself.

"Mmm... Feels so good..." I purred as I rubbed down my new body.

I lifted my arm and took a deep sniff of the smell I worked up. It smelled nice, sweaty, and musky, enough so that it got me horny. I turned my head and licked my pit and bicep. My new skin tingled as I ran my tongue across it, and the salty taste of sweat reminded me how much I love the taste and smell of masculine men.

"God... I'm so fucking hot...!" I said out loud. My dick was starting to poke against the fabric of my gym shorts. I grazed my hand over my cock, feeling the hardening shaft grow in size as I rubbed myself.

I turned my head and noticed a guy staring at me. He smacked his lips, and I could see him shaking his junk with his hand. He used his fingers to show the outline of his dick through his grey sweats, showing me how hung he was. I smirked, and pulled down my gym shorts. My dick sprang up once it was exposed. I opened my car door a bit, just enough so my admirer could catch a glimpse of my new body. I bet he liked what he saw, as he started walking towards me. His hard dick swung around in his sweats as he walked, and I could already tell I'm gonna like what I see once he's in the passenger seat.

He hopped into my car and we got straight to the action. I could only squirm in my seat as he sucked me off in the back of the parking lot. The grip of his throat let me crying out from pleasure, leaving me begging for more. While we hooked up, I could only wonder if this guy liked going to concerts too. Well, regardless of if he did or didn't, he's going to one once I swap our bodies. My pride month's going swimmingly, and it's only getting better from here.

#male body swap #male body switch #body swap #body switch #musk #muscle

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ciaossu-imagines · 5 months

Note

Thank you and I’m glad you like the requests / asks I sent so far. If I’m not doing the list one correctly, I apologise and will pick numbers from the list itself. Could you do the ever young and the ‘OC Ask Meme’ for your OCs from The Ever Young?

Of course I do! And I have no problem doing this, though the answers might be short, sorry. I'm so sorry about that but hope you'll enjoy anyway!

Send me a number and I will reply with what OC does what

1) Gets turnt up at a party on caprisun

Okay, if it wasn't Caprisun but actual alcohol, Mirror is the cheapest and easiest drunk while Brooklyn is the one who enjoys a good drink the most (and can hold her liquor the best). Caprisun though? It's super sugary and I've always seen Cat as the OC there that's most prone to sugar rushes...along with caffeine really affecting her, as a bonus headcanon.

2) Laughs a lot

I think this one is a three way tie between Amber, Dell, and Mari, all of whom are quick to laugh and smile. Mari and Amber are both just quick to find either the fun or the positives in a situation whilst the trickster Dell knows that laughter and smiles often can be used to great effect to endear yourself to others.

3) Will blare loud death metal music but is a cinnamon roll

Okay, death metal doesn't really exist in The Ever Young, but if it did, this is so Nina or Mirror, mostly because this girl behind the screen actually has a really huge love for metal (been listening to way too much Children of Bodom lately haha), and because I find it funny to have someone super small and cute and seemingly completely shy and innocent like Nina be into music like that. But then, she's a lot more than she looks in most aspects.

4) Likes hugs

Okay, this is easier to answer this way:

Even the suggestion of a hug makes Mirror panic and move as far away from you as possible. Unless she really likes you and trusts you, hugging Tea will end up with her stabbing you. Dell would let you hug them but there's a 50/50 chance something really bad might end up happening to you. Hugs with Lou end up with your wallet gone, just because they can. Cat hates hugs from people she isn't close to and Whisp hates physical contact of any sort from people she doesn't trust. Brooklyn has to be in the mood for hugs, even from people she likes and while Nina likes hugs, she is really bad sometimes at remembering how strong she is so hugs can be very painful from her. So only Mari, Marta and Amber are safe bets for hugs.

5) Will stab you if you take their piece of pizza

Okay, so this is just related to food in general and not just pizza but both Lou and Whisp know what it is to starve, to be completely without food. And because of that, both of them do have some food-related insecurities that do lead them to becoming rather territorial of their food, though neither one of them would probably resort to murder if you did take it.

6) Stays up too late and regrets it

Mirror doesn't sleep. Not for pleasure, at least. She is capable of passing out from pain or because of injury but she has no need to actually sleep, nor does she know the experience of being tired.

7) Lets their phone die

Okay, phones don't really exist in The Ever Young but if they did, I see Tea being the one who cares least for her phone and the one most likely to be perpetually on low or no battery.

8) Eyebrow Game. Strong AF.

Dell has the strongest eyebrow game. Like, their eyebrows are always great...even when they shapeshift, if what they shapeshift into has eyebrows, they even make sure to bring strong eyebrow game in that form.

9) Regrets decisions made 5 seconds ago

I think almost all of the characters do face this at least once during the entire storyline, but I think it happens most frequently for both Amber, who does things just for her own amusement without really thinking things completely through, and Nina, who , when upset, becomes just someone who acts completely on emotion and impulse.

10) Will punch you in the face, and you will thank them for it

Amber, Tea, and Mari can all do this and the person would have either asked them to or thanked them for doing so because of powers these women possess throughout the story.

11) Listens to gentle instrumental music but looks like they will kill you

Tea is someone I do see as enjoying just peaceful instrumentals during meditation or training, something soothing and calm in the background for her mind to absorb. Make no mistake though, not only does she look like she'll kill you, if you pose a real and present danger to her or those she feels the need to protect, she will gut you.

12) Makes flower crowns

I don't know why but there is actually a scene, because it popped into my head as something cute and light and charming in between some super serious moments, just kind of roughly written out, of both Nina and Cat chilling together in the grass and making flower crowns together for the others.

13) Makes non-funny puns

Amber loves to toss out really horrible pick-up lines to make others laugh and it's hit or miss on whether they succeed. Meanwhile Lou has a very dry and acerbic wit and a lot of their jokes tend to go over people's heads.

14) May or may not own 500 stuffed animals with all intricate plotlines and personalities

Okay, so it's not so much stuffed animals, but I do think Whisp is someone who made up lots of imaginary friends, fully fleshed out people with their own families and stories and personalities, to combat some of the loneliness she's spend a lot of her time in.

15) Has an obsession with dragons

Its' Dell. I don't even know why, it was just the first and immediate answer that came to mind and the only answer that feels at all right.

16 & 17) Doesn't blink twice when it comes to murder & will offer to kill someone for their friend

Okay, I am going to combine these two. And I'm going to be upfront before any of the story beyond the world-building even gets posted. Upfront and honest - The Ever Young is not a soft place. It is not a safe, secure, happy world where there are no real stakes in place. The Ever Young, at the point we go into the story at, is a powder keg, a land on the brink of all out war. There are no guarantees of safety or continued survival for anyone living in that land and even the most pacifistic of these OC's, if push comes to shove, would end up killing to protect either themselves but especially their loved ones.

18) Likes rocks

Mirror, for some reason not even she understands, seems to have retained a comprehensive and thorough knowledge of the various types of rocks and gemstones and the symbolism behind them. I mean, she can't remember anything about herself but she knows all that. I also see Marta and Cat both liking pretty rocks and gemstones, with Marta being prone to wearing jewelry made of them, particularly a necklace Kusakabe gifted her made of turquoise.

19) Knows how to bake a cake

I see both Mari and Marta being good bakers. And what's more, it's something both women truly enjoy doing and before things got so bad in The Ever Young, I like to believe the two women would meet up throughout their years growing up together to have baking dates, where they'd talk and laugh and enjoy each others company whilst making delicious treats.

20) Knows all the words to Queen's Bohemian Rhapsody

Okay, so again, I don't think this is something that would canonically exist in the world of The Ever Young, but if it did, the answer to this question would be Brooklyn and Cat both because nothing will ever convince me that all of HOMRA's boys don't know every word to this song and that they don't sometimes just spontaneously and drunkenly start singing it in the bar.

21) Has screen shots that will ruin lives

While not screenshots, because again, no cell phones exist in The Ever Young, both Whisp and Dell tend to trade in information and secrets and that's part of what makes both characters quite as dangerous as they are.

22) Likes being petty

Honestly, Amber does find some amount of joy in being a little childish and petty, maybe even instigating some petty revenge or prank wars, though she never becomes actively mean and cruel in those endeavors unless the person in question truly deserves it.

23) Will cut you

Tea is one of the most accomplished and well-known swordswomen in the land. She won't just cut you, she'll carve you up like a Christmas turkey.

24) Will get angry at themselves when they develop a crush on someone

Okay, Mirror struggles to really understand her own emotions and even more so, she struggles to feel like it's okay for her to have any of those emotions, especially towards other people, as she feels she would just be a burden or something unpleasant to them so the first sign of her liking someone would honestly scare her so much. I also think Lou, Dell, and Whisp have really hard times trusting other people fully and so, when they feel that attachment or attraction to another person, they do have some complicated and conflicting emotions because they are scared to let people get too close to them, because they all have been burned badly by people in their pasts.

25) Will fight someone twice their size

Nina? She isn't even five feet tall. Does that stop her from kicking ass and taking on a literal giant at one point? Most definitely not and she'll tell you it was one of the most fun experiences she's ever had, she had a ball going up against him.

#replies #ask game #my ocs #the ever young

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nemesis-is-my-middle-name · 1 year

Note

I find it kind of hilarious to remember that, because some of the things he's saying don't exist yet (or at the very least don't exist in Hisui yet, who even knows what's being created elsewhere, because apparently in Kalos they were technologically advanced enough 4000 years ago to create a doomsday device lazer and in current day they had the tech to literally turn Bill into a clefairy and back), canonically there have to have been times when he'll be talking to someone and briefly become nigh on incomprehensible to them. Luckily most of the time they just lose a word and can figure out what he means, like if he says he "lost his [???] of thought" or "a [???] always makes sure his passengers arrive safely to their destination" or whatever. Words like train, conductor, rails, engine, cab, car, etc. would mean nothing to them, but if he only uses one it's probably not too hard to skip over and still get his meaning usually. But then sometimes as you mentioned he'll say things where they understand all the words individually, but he says them in an order that makes them sound like meaningless word salad, like "full steam ahead".

If this was a case of 'Ingo is actually speaking unovan but a magical translator is making whoever is listening understand him and vice versa', then it might just try to turn those words into the closest comparison their language has (although that could cause problems if someone was watching how his mouth moved and realized that he's not actually saying what they're hearing). But if it's something that magically bestows the knowledge of the language into his brain, then there'd be times when there's no direct translation for whatever word he's trying to say so he just subs in the unovan one without even noticing, though idioms would probably still be translated despite not making much sense. And that's not even counting the things he'd reflexively say in unovan in that scenario, like his all aboard or Emmet's lines, where he could accidentally say a full string of words they can't understand.

Although, wouldn't it be tragic if instead of being a translator it just completely overwrote the language he understands, but his subconscious still remembers those words in unovan, so he could quote Emmet's lines before a battle, and they fill him with power, but he literally doesn't understand what he's saying. Why does he point to things and shout meaningless noises? Who knows, he just does, it feels right for some reason.

that last bit is like a perfect 50/50 split between completely tragic and so fucking funny. he's just making noises. he doesn't know what they mean either. but also it's because even this most fundamental part of who he his has been taken away, he isn't even allowed to keep that, and the memory of them feels like something broken in his mind-

and funnily enough i have actually had multiple different instances in wips where people will comment internally "sometimes ingo just says shit. and you just have to go 'ok' and move on and hope you correctly pick up wtf he means from context." like that's their guy! he speaks in riddles sometimes and they just nod like it all makes sense

#the nemesis speaks #the nemesis answers #anonymous

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pebblysand · 2 years

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Something I really appreciate about your writing is you are one of the few canon compliant authors who includes Harry having a scar after he was hit with the second killing curse. I have no idea why this is so debated but in my mind he absolutely WOULD have a second scar on his chest from it since he had one originally on his forehead.

Harry honestly gets pretty scared up in his life (I also personally think the Dursley’s would have left some physical scars as well before he turned 11) and I appreciate you bringing up that detail. I imagine by the time the war is over it actually would be a bit disturbing to see him topless…. The locket on his chest, the snake bite on his forearm, the cut on his forearm from wormtale, his hand, etc etc etc.

I also do love that he got a tattoo. I love that for him.

Aw thanks! Am I one of the only ones? I thought that was pretty common? That's cool!

The topic of Harry's scars is an interesting one for sure. On the one hand, I read somewhere that JKR had said that she wanted it so that the only person who'd scarred Harry permanently who wasn't Voldemort was Umbridge, which I kind of like as a concept, but on the other, as you said, I do wonder about the Dursleys...

The level of violence he endures in his childhood is left a bit unspoken in the books, bar from Dudley's beatings, but Dudley is also a child, so somehow that's more publicly "acceptable." If I recall correctly, the only explicit violence mentioned in the books on the part of the adults are: Petunia trying to hit him with a frying pan, Vernon manhandling him after the dementors incident, and I think (though I might have made that up in my head), there's a moment where he mentions he's learnt to keep a "safe" distance from Vernon, to prevent getting hit.

There's different stances about it - some people think he was routinely beaten up, some don't. I'm a bit on the fence to be honest, but overall, I reckon the casualness with which he addresses the violence that is perpetrated against him by people other than the Dursleys, and the speed at which he resorts to violence in conflict situations (as early as book one) because it's the only thing he knows, hints that he was more physically abused (aside from the starving) than the books let on. I think JKR voluntarily stayed vague about it because the books would not have been "appropriate for children" otherwise, but I went back to read that bit of book 4 where Wormtail cuts Harry's arm open and Harry doesn't even mention it hurts. I think that says something about how used he is to pain as a concept.

Do I think he was beaten up every single day, etc.? No. That would have been noticed by someone. But, do I think he would often have gotten kicked or hit if he was in the way, or "misbehaving" somehow? Probably yes. I'd say his magic helped a lot in protecting him, but I don't think it worked 100% of the time.

This being said, we're told that magic can heal wounds inflicted with Muggle means very easily, so would he have scars from it? I don't know. I wrote this in Castles: "His wand hovers, against his skin, caresses the burn that Vernon once left at his wrist when he “accidentally” held the gaslighter too close. ‘Be careful, boy,’ he said, as Harry screamed out in pain. ‘It could burn you.’" which I suppose means I believe not all of his scars would have healed themselves, and thus contradicts whatever JKR said about Harry's scars, and the Voldemort/Umbridge exclusivity. I think the reasoning I had was that while magic can heal Muggle wounds, it has to be done "properly" or else it might still scar/have other consequences. In that scene, Harry's magic may have stopped the burn from hurting, but it may have been imperfect and not healed it completely. Later on, when his leg gets impaled by a piece of debris during the ambush, it's technically not a magical wound, but then when Giulia takes it out and stops the bleeding, it's magical first aid, and that does scar, so. I also reckon magic can only heal what doesn't kill you on impact. When Fred gets killed in the explosion, it's not technically a magical death, the wall just explodes in his face, but because it kills him upon impact, there's not much his body can do. That's how I reasoned when I had Aoife in TFIFM kill a death eater by shooting him in the head. I reckon if she'd shot him in the arm for instance, he'd have managed to heal himself.

But, to come back to your ask (sorry for this tangent haha), I think that yes, regardless of what you think of the Dursleys, by the end of the war, he does have a number of scars, definitely. But, none of them hurt, which is nice. I 100% think the Horcrux would have left a scar when it came out, I see it as a huge black bruise initially, which later heals and lightens with time, with really thin white lines interwoven (kinda like thinner stretch marks), a bit like a messy spider's web. Don't ask me why, that's just how I see it haha.

And, lastly, if you like the tattoo, you will be glad to know that there's a specific row in my castles outline for Harry's tattoos as time passes and he gets more lmao.

Sorry again for this long tangent hahah. I didn't sleep much last night and my brain is a bit mush, but I hope it was at least of interest :)

#asked and answered #castles

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s-the-seething-songbird-2 · 6 months

Text

Logs for Thomas, Part 2: #4

Song stuck in my head: "Be Alright" by Dean Lewis

I woke up this morning with a terrible amount of anxiety in my gut. For most of today, I've just felt upset, scared, and a little nauseous.

Then, a little bit before writing this, I realized that today is the day we confessed our love for each other exactly five years ago. November 14th.

It's crazy to think about. I know how long ago it was. Ages have passed, and my life is so different now. Apparently, my body doesn't care.

It was so scary, and so wonderful, and I had... such high hopes for what would come after.

It literally could not have ended worse XD

Before I even realized the date, I also couldn't stop mulling over memories of that whole mess. I thought maybe I was just having a Bad Brain Day--and truth be told, that could still be the case; maybe the date is just a coincidence--but the date explains a lot. This has happened to me every year since then. November 14th is a rough day for me, as is December 23rd. The latter is significantly worse, at least, so I have that going for me (until then).

God, I hate the holidays.

I don't hate you, if that wasn't already clear. I never did. I can't.

I've been thinking about everything that went down with Shay this year. The idea of you hating me just doesn't match up with things you've said in the past. Then again, there are many things you've said that contradict with the things you've done.

But maybe thinking about it over and over is just going to drive me crazy.

It hurts, Thomas. I'm so hurt. I'm so hurt, and confused, and there's so much I would give just to talk to you again. Yes, nonplatonic things happened between us, obviously, but what I'm most upset about is that I've lost a friend, someone who was there for me for years and years.

Even back when I was in high school, when you'd call me stupid, insult my (former) religion, or make fun of my appearance, there was always a part of me that wanted, needed, you to like me, to be proud of me.

You said you were... You said you were proud of me. How can you be proud of me and hate me at the same time?

I know that, tomorrow, a lot of these feelings will dip back under the surface, and I'll be able to feel normal again, but waiting for those hours and minutes to tick is maddening.

One moment--I'm cooking d*nner, and I have to strain the p*sta.

Okay, I'm back!

Sorry, I know it seems silly to censor those words, but based on what Shay--and you, come to think of it--have said about y'alls sensitivities about f*od, I figured it was better to be safe than sorry.

Also, the weirdest thing happened to me a few minutes ago. I had already opened a can of p*sta sa*ce to add to the sp*ghett* literally moments before, but after writing one of these paragraphs and returning to what I was doing with dinner, I... completely forgot how to use the can opener?

Warning, boring rambling ahead. Skip to the blue asterisk to bypass.

Thomas, I've been using manual can-openers for years, especially more recently, since I've agreed to cook for my partners and their kids two nights out of every week (my girlfriend was overexerting herself both at work and at home, so we came to a consensus so she's less stressed out). But all of a sudden, it was really hard to twist the thingy correctly, and the lid wouldn't budge, save for a few dents in the can. And then I realized I was holding it upside-down. Except, I wasn't, because I tried it the other way, and that didn't work either.

I paced around the kitchen and got very irritated, wondering what the hell was going on.

Then, after taking some deep breaths, I tried again, and... I did it?

Look, I'm used to forgetting a variety of things--trauma does that--but this seemed excessive, even for me.

I got really freaked out for a minute or two because one of my biggest fears is developing early-onset Alzheimer's/dementia/etc., but I still had to finish making d*nner, so I put that thought on the backburner for a bit and finished what I was doing.

But then I noticed something else: I left a mess. I may not be the most organized person in the world, but this was on another level. I could barely even pour the strained n*odles back into the pot, so 1/3 of it was just strewn out on the stove, like a fresco of shitty m*c*roni art. And that doesn't even mentioned the sauce splatters all over the counter, among other things. I was even having trouble opening the can of br*sch*tta s*as*ning, and it's literally just a matter of opening the right side of the lid, which I did incorrectly several times.

Then, I wanted to clean everything up before setting the table, but I just... didn't have it in me? Every time I've made d*nner since I agreed to this deal, I've cleaned up after myself. Every time.

How did I forget all of these adult responsibilities so quickly? It was just, like,,, POOF, gone.

*And then I realized that these were all problems I used to have back in 2018, around the same time the affair started, when I was (bodily) 17 and just starting to learn how to cook.

So... it would appear that these mental/emotional flashbacks haven't stopped yet. -_-

That was frustrating--and unnerving. But I suppose this is further confirmation that our brain is still really fucked up over the whole thing.

I'll be alright, I promise.

Shit, I have to go now

-S

#logs for thomas #11/14/23

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astro-rain · 3 years

Text

delicate; b.barnes

chapter nineteen - “tomorrow”

delicate masterlist

word count: 2.8k

synopsis: reader is faced with a very distressing ultimatum and has to deal with the consequences.

pairings: bucky barnes x fem!reader

authors note: omg pls listen to “water under the bridge” by adele after reading this it’s fits so well

Muted. She felt muted - but not necessarily in a bad way. Everything in her was dialed down and dulled. Over the last couple days, Y/N had toned down her emotions, feeling less. Call it a coping skill. Call it a stress response. Whatever. It wasn't like she was sad about it. In a way, in was comforting - not having some overwhelming internal angst.

It had been a week since that fight she and Bucky got into. The mature part of her was telling her to find him and talk it out like the adults they were. But here's the thing. Over time, before they even had the fight, the number of therapy sessions they were having was less frequent as his treatment was improving. The sessions were more intermittent now, and there wasn't one scheduled for a while. Until then, she felt no desire to talk to him.

Was she mad? Sad? She wasn't sure. She just avoided thinking of things that caused her a considerable amount of distress. At this particular moment in time, Bucky was one of those things. Ergo, she made a constant effort to ignore all thoughts of him.

Though, she somehow couldn't entirely ignore the ever present lack of... Bucky. She had gotten so used to having him close by, used to having someone to talk to, laugh with. His proximity had become a constant. A comfort. She refused to admit to herself that silence didn't feel like silence anymore; it just felt like the absence of his voice.

She found she needed to keep herself busy.

Bucky handled it a bit differently. He had lots of intense emotions but he didn't mute them, per say. He didn't ignore them. He felt them, he definitely felt them. He just kept them bottled up inside and talked about it to no one. It was a very strange change of routine. Whenever he had some sort of emotional turmoil, he would always go to her - therapy session or not - to vent, rant, ask for advice, or just talk through a stream of consciousness. Now he just had to sit with it.

He spent most of his time alone. He missed her.

"Hey Shuri," Y/N greeted as she entered the princess' lab.

"Hello," Shuri smiled. "Come sit."

This wasn't a routine visit. Shuri mentioned wanting to talk about something else this time. Something important. She was reminded of this when she walked in to find two Doras sitting with Shuri at a lab table.

"So," Shuri started, "The trigger word experiment. We're here to discuss safety and security."

Shit. That awful thing. It had slipped her mind these past couple days.

"Alright. What are we thinkin'?"

"Well, the Doras don't think it would be necessary to have two of them there with you, but if you would feel safer with two, then that's fine as well."

"I think one is fine. I trust your judgment," Y/N nodded to the Doras.

And I'm not afraid of Bucky, she thought but didn't say.

"We also have a special location to run the experiment," one of the Doras, Ayo, added. "Away from people and secluded in the case of an emergency."

"Okay. That sounds good."

"We understand Barnes is now equipped with the vibranium arm, yes?" Shuri asked.

"Yes, he is."

"Then you need to know something for the experiment."

Y/N's brows furrowed, confused. Was she missing something?

"There's sort of a fail safe built into the arm," Shuri began.

Fail safe?

"There are a series of pressure points when, if hit correctly, will disengage the arm. It will just drop to the ground. So if anything were to happen-"

"I'm sorry, what?"

The expression on Shuri's face changed immediately when she heard her partner's tone. Y/N looked bewildered and almost in disbelief.

"It's there as a precaution in case Barnes needs to be put in check."

Suddenly, every emotion she had been "muting" rushed back into her head. Every feeling for Bucky returned, as well as her compulsion to protect him.

"Building that into the arm shows a complete lack of trust."

"You know what HYDRA did. It's unpredictable, and I'm sorry but we just can't be sure."

"We need to be careful with this so it doesn't blow up in our faces," Ayo said.

"I understand having that precaution for this test, I do. But it isn't just this test. Given it was successful and everything worked out, he was supposed to keep the arm. Right?"

"Right."

"So we fix the HYDRA programming and he's free, but leave the 'fail safe' in so after all of this, he still has someone in control of him."

"The arm is a gift," Ayo stated. "He should be happy he has it at all."

"I understand that, and believe me, he is so grateful. But a gift is for someone else to keep and use as their own. How are we supposed to help him and work with him for months, building trust and aiding him in healing to just tarnish all of that with deception?"

"It's what's best for the protection of all."

"Even after the experiment if it's successful?" Y/N cried in disbelief. "I should say when it's successful. Shuri, I've been seeing his progress for months and working with you on his neurobiology data. Can't you tell how much skill has been put into this? It's us. It's going to work."

"Even still."

"I can't stand for that. I would understand if it was just for this test, but after? We haven't come this far just to not trust our own work and Bucky's deprogramming. He deserves to have someone on his side."

"I'm sorry, Y/N, but it's already been done. The arm is already built and being used."

"This is the plan," Ayo declared. "Either you are on board, or you are free to leave Wakanda. We can fly you out as soon as tomorrow morning."

"I can't knowingly be a part of this. It's wrong."

"As I said. Free to leave."

She refused to be a willing participant in perpetuating the loss of Bucky's autonomy. He's been through enough, had enough taken from him. She would not play a single role in taking more away.

"I guess I have to go then," she said, standing from her chair.

She couldn't believe the words coming from her own mouth.

Shuri sighed. "That's very unfortunate, my partner. I'm sorry we couldn't agree on this."

"I am, too. But please. Please consider what this will do to him. It's like saying 'even though we've all been working with you, we don't actually believe that you're not still a weapon.' What is he supposed to think of that?"

"Barnes isn't going to have to think anything about it..."

"...because he isn't going to know," Ayo finished the thought.

"No..."

"It's the way it has to be."

"No it's not."

"Y/N..."

She took a couple steps back, preparing to leave the room. "No, I'm sorry. I can't. He needs to know. I'm going to have to tell him."

"I'd advise against it if you care about your job," called an unfamiliar voice.

Y/N turned to the other Dora, whom she didn't know.

"What?"

"What would your employers think if they knew their doctor had certain... inappropriate relations with a patient? And a very infamous one at that."

She froze, face burning. Her stomach dropped and her breathing stopped dead.

Did they-? Who else-? How did they-? What did they-?

She couldn't form a single coherent thought.

"You are more than free to leave quietly, without any worries" said the Dora, "but if Barnes knows about this, you can be sure that the rest of the world will know about you and your... relations."

It was then when she could feel almost every piece of her world come crashing down. She could feel every test she took, every research project she was a part of, every hour she spent studying for the career that took years to build. The thing she was most proud in this world, the part of herself she most loved. She felt the job she loved and all the things she had learned and accomplished begin to crumble around her.

This career... it was her life. It was her passion. It was all she had. Now she was in immediate danger of losing it. All she could process was fear; she shut down.

Finally, she managed words.

"Okay," she conceded, her defeated voice barely above a whisper. "I'll go... quietly. I'm sorry."

With that, she turned around and took the remaining steps out of the now silent room.

- - -

When she was in the hallway, she felt like she was dying. The guilt was overwhelming. How could she betray him like this? She tried to fight for Bucky to get the truth and now she has to hide it from him and leave him. She has to lie to him.

Y/N was still in shock, completely immersed in her own fear. It felt as if she wasn't in her body. She knew she was moving - walking down the hallway. But her body was just on autopilot; she was gone.

She couldn't tell if she was crying but she could feel a twinging in her eyes and a burning in her nose. She was also hardly breathing so if she was crying, it was nearly silent.

In a faraway echo, she thought she heard her own footsteps. She wasn't sure where they were taking her, but she wasn't sure if she cared.

She walked, and she kept on walking for a long time. She could feel the ache in her feet once she sat down in front of the water. She hadn't planned to go to the waterfall - that waterfall... their waterfall. It just sort of happened. Perhaps it was a long enough distance away to feel safe.

She finally let herself think for a moment.

What the fuck had just happened? Her exact fears had come to be. Somehow, someone saw or figured out her and Bucky. It felt worse than she thought it would. Exposed. Embarrassed. Guilty. Humiliated. Distressed.

It was numbing. So numbing that she stared at the little pool and let the white noise of the waterfall clog her ears until she was able to lose track of time.

She had no idea how long it had been when he approached her.

"Y/N!" Bucky's voice called as he jogged over after catching sight of her. "I've been looking for you! Can we please talk?"

His voice snapped her out of it, but her gaze remained fixed on the water in front of her. She wasn't sure what to do, how to engage with him; she froze.

When she didn't even turn her head, Bucky guessed she was still upset with him. He didn't want to be a bother, but he needed to talk to her. He sat down right next to her.

"Okay..." he started, carefully. "I know things aren't great between us right now, but-"

She turned her head to him and the words died in his throat when he saw her face: bloodshot, puffy eyes and tear stained cheeks. He forgot whatever he was going to say, cupping both sides of her face.

"Oh my god, what happened!? A-Are you alright?"

The cool metal of his hand on her cheek made her want to scream, reminding her of what she could not tell him. Reminding her of the searing guilt. Trembling hands reached up to touch his arms. And then he saw the quiver in her lip.

"Oh, honey," he cooed, worried. "Hey... Hey, talk to me. Talk to me, what's wrong?"

He was so concerned and so sweet even after they had a huge blowout. If possible, it made her feel even worse. She didn't deserve his kindness anymore. She just stared into him with the saddest eyes he'd ever seen.

Bucky had never seen her like this and he was scared. Was it because of him and their fight? He supposed so. What else could it have been?

"I'm so sorry, please don't cry," he caressed the back of her head with one hand. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean any of what I said, I was just mad. You were right. I feel awful, I had no idea it upset you this much."

Their fight was the very last thing on her mind. Looking back on it, it seemed like such a trivial thing compared to now. But he thought this was his fault. She wanted to break into a million tiny pieces and let the wind blow her away.

She shook her head. "Bucky, no. It's not that. It's not you."

He looked so confused. She felt so bad.

"Then what... what's wrong?"

"I'm leaving."

Bucky leaned back, perplexed, and his hands slid down to rest on her forearms. "Leaving? You're leaving Wakanda?"

She nodded. "I'm sorry."

"No, no, hey- You don't have to leave. We can figure something out. We were too risky, you were right. I understand that now. We don't have to do that anymore. We can make sure that we're always completely in private from here on out."

She shook her head, staring down at the grass below her. "I'm sorry, I can't... I can't do that. I have to leave."

She could barely look him in the face.

"You don't, it's okay," he implored. "I know it worried you, but it really only was Steve. And I know, I know it could have been anyone and I get that. I thought about it, and I get it. We don't ever have to... sleep together... again. We won't be distracted, and-and we'll be careful."

She clenched her eyes shut, trying not to let her burning eyes release more tears. It didn't work.

"Bucky..."

"Baby doll please," his voice cracked while he tipped her chin up to meet her eyes again. "We can just-... we can just go back to the way it was before. In the very beginning. We can- we'll only see each other in sessions, we don't-... No more lake trips or all-nighters or anything just-"

He sharply inhaled, beginning to ramble as his breath became unsteady.

His voice shook just slightly. "You can barely even talk to me if you don't want to- just please don't go..."

She thought a part of her cracked and died at that moment. She sprung forward and held him as tight as she could. Instinctively one of Bucky's arms was around her back and the other cradled the back of her head.

She thought maybe if she held tight enough, she could keep them together and she wouldn't have to leave him there alone. Of course he would be fine, but he would spend the rest of his time feeling like it was his fault that she had gone.

She couldn't let him think this was his fault.

"Buck, I don't wanna leave you. But I have to do what's best for the both of us. You'll be just fine without me. I promise."

He didn't think so.

"I'm putting your treatment and my career in jeopardy if I stay," she continued. "I just don't want anything bad to happen to either of us. I'm sorry if you hate this and I'm sorry if you hate me for doing it."

He mumbled something in the crook of her neck, but she couldn't hear it. She pulled back from the embrace.

"What?"

"I could never hate you."

Despite the fact that she was so internally distraught, despite what happened with Shuri and the Doras, with having to tell Bucky she was going to leave him, with having to watch him beg her to stay, despite the extreme dread and guilt within her, she still looked at him and felt so much love.

She was doing the very thing he feared and all he could do was care for her.

"God, I'm gonna miss you," she breathed before grasping his jaw, and pulling his head to hers.

Bucky tasted salt and he couldn't tell if it was his or her tears mixing into their lips.

As much as he wanted her to stay, he could sense how serious she was about this. He wouldn't be able to convince her to stay even if he tried. And he already did.

He could only soak up as much of her as he could before she left, and be with her until she had to go. He had no idea how much time he had. Wait-

"When are you leaving?" he broke the kiss as soon as the thought arose.

She was silent for a moment when another tear dripped down her face. "Tomorrow."

delicate taglist: @bakugouswh0r3 @thefridgeismybestie @strivingforelegance @ilovespideyyy @xpurpleglitter @bluelakeee @darkacademic2 @eclipsedplanet @paradisedixon @crazy-beautiful @coffee--writes @lilithknight1111 @buckybarnesishot310 @softladyhours @alwayssandy @those-sea-green-eyes @hero-ically @devilswaldorf @cc13723things @small-death-and-codeine @avengersgirllorianna @cataves @thatbitchsposts @talktomeaboutthestars @surrealpsycho @headheartbellarke @bubbly-moonwarrior @bluemoon-icecream @buckeyecreates @augustbucky @itsthemaree @undiadeestos

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lettertolife · 3 years

Text

Dear Kim Jung-Hwan,

Frown on the face and warmth in heart you made everyone fall in love with you. You are the Best Character I've ever seen- so considerate and full of love for his family and friends, you had hard time expressing it but it never hindered your actions.

Remember when you were playing soccer at school and the seniors were asking Sun-woo to take his father's pendent off- you were irritated at Sun-woo for not taking it off and wearing it later but when the seniors forgot the line with Sun-woo you did not hesitate in punching the bully right across his face, your face got some bruises too but you shrugged it off and went home.

Other time when you saw Dong-Ryong being escorted by the goons and you bravely started following them, calculating how to take them down however ended up getting your money and shoes taken. Sorry for the loss but the friendship shone.

If I recollect correctly you were irritated with all the hype Deok-seon and the families were creating about Deok-Seon being the picket girl but you were silently rooting for her too. You did not jump like others when Deok-Seon was on TV- the smile you had told us everything.

The way you did that really embarrassing greetings, that your father loved, hesitantly though but you did it because you couldn't see your dad sad.

The time you performed in the talent show because Deok-seon's friends ended up breaking their bones- and oh boy you nailed the entire routine.

That day when you saw your mom wasn't feeling herself and Dong-Ryong made you realise the reason and you went around the house with a calm smile screaming for your mother's help when Jung-Bong (YOU) burnt his hand while making ramen, when your father (YOU) broke the coals and when you couldn't find your boxers and then you smiled watching your mother smile. The time you scribbled in your mother's passport so that she wouldn't be embarrassed or the time you organised your parents's surprise wedding or the many other times you did things for your Hyung (elder brother) and joined the Air Force to complete your hyung's dream.

All the times you stayed up late, patiently waiting for Deok-seon to return home, asked the driver to wait only 10 seconds so that Deok-seon could board it, travelled all the distance because she asked you to meet her at McDonalds, protected her from the turbulent bus ride, protected her from the dean during the field trip, got her those pink gloves she wanted even though you weren't her secret Santa, safe guarded the pink shirt she gifted you- I hope that Pink shirt is somewhere in a box- kept in the corner of your house, collecting dust.

I'm sorry it couldn't work out with Deok-seon maybe it was all the red lights or maybe it was the delay in gathering the courage to tell her your feelings. I'm sorry she couldn't notice all the goofy smiles you gave her, all the small gestures you did for her. I'm sorry you had to turn your first love confession into a joke and leave your fiancé ring on the table at that restaurant but I wish you're with someone now who noticed all your small gestures and heard your unspoken words. I hope you have a happy and loving family of your own. I hope you've a regular life and smile constantly now and have regular meet up with your childhood friends. I hope now when you open your wallet you look at a picture of you and your wife smiling widely at each other. I hope you are happy and warm.

I'm sorry- life is cruel for those who have hard time expressing their feelings or are misunderstood to be cold because they don't constantly express but also Thank you, Jungpal because of you I'll pay more attentions at small gestures, I'll try to hear more intently to the few words spoken so that I won't miss my Jung-hwan.

I also promise to be more considerate for others feelings and be always there for my family and friends.

Thank You Jung-hwan for being a part of my life. Thank you for making me appreciate memories more.

Thank you for making me realise that expressing doesn't only mean words.

Thank You ♥️

#reply 1988 #kim jung hwan #teamjunghwan

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feralrosie · 3 years

Text

the silence of a (heart)beat

The Wayhaven Chronicles

Mason/Corinna (F!Detective)

Words: 3,3k

Rating: G

Tags: There is nothing but fluff in here

Read on AO3

Mason can't sleep, doesn't need to sleep, and could be doing anything else back at the Warehouse. Yet there he is once again: lying on Corinna’s bed, holding her close to his chest, and watching the moon slowly stroll across the night sky. Pale blue light leaks into the room, reaching the equally faint white skin of the woman in his arms. She looks in peace wearing his black long-sleeved shirt as oversized pyjamas—a habit that he was not sure when started, but that wasn’t as bad as it seemed, especially because her smell would linger a little bit longer in his clothes.

It’s not like he is uncomfortable, quite the opposite actually, he can’t remember a day when he felt so at ease, but there is a tingling sensation deep down his chest that he can’t pinpoint what is and that is preventing him from sleeping. Maybe it’s because he slept the night before—with her, in her apartment—or maybe it’s because he fed this morning and his senses are still boosted.

No matter. Feels good.

He brushes a lock of raven hair from her face, letting the tip of his fingers sense the warmth of her skin, and watches when she pouts and frowns in her sleep. Even in dreams, she is still fierce and Mason can’t help but smile at the sight.

He has been dreaming a lot more lately, too. It’s not always pleasant dreams, and some of them are fucking nonsensical, but Nate says it’s because he’s sleeping heavier and for longer periods of time, so his mind can wander through the unconscious realms easily or something like that. There were times when he would go an entire week having slept just two hours, but only this weekend he spent ten—ten—hours in bed with Corinna, sleeping.

And it feels good.

Mason tries to not think about that insistent prickle in his chest. Perhaps it’s a heart attack.

He looks at the ceiling, following the contour of shadows cast by moonlight. Vampires can’t have heart attacks.

Rolls to his side, placing his forearm behind his head and over the pillow. Could be something he ate.

He pulls the sheets over to cover the small figure of the woman in his arms. He doesn’t eat.

When Corinna snuggles closer, wrapping a leg over his waist and resting her tiny hands over his chest, the tingling is back.

He needs air.

Mason is careful to untangle her limbs from his body and takes excessive time to get out of the bed, making sure Corinna is still sleeping and well covered by her duvet. It’s a warm night, enough for him to feel comfortable wearing only his underwear, but he recalls her saying that she can’t sleep well without a blanket or sheets. Just because he can’t sleep, doesn’t mean he must condemn her to the same fate.

He walks to the living room, approaching the windows to look into the night. If it was not for the wind softly blowing the canopies, Wayhaven would look like a painting, silent and still. Mason likes it there, despite refusing to acknowledge it out loud, and even though the town’s square can get crowded on weekdays. He lets the navy blue image of the outside sink into his mind, shaping a memory that combines the cold touch of the glass panel against his knuckles as he holds the heavy curtains with the smell of Corinna’s apartment, a mix of coffee (from her hands) and coconut (from her hair).

There’s a soft drum in the air, too, like the comforting background noise from a forest, and an atmospheric heat that embraces his body. Feels good, and Mason allows himself to smile as he turns away from the window. His attention falls to the mess that is that home, although he admits it could be worse—and that he may have contributed to it during their earlier fun that ended in her room. The detective’s clothes are on the floor, a plain black t-shirt that contrasts with the lacy violet bra by its side, and he picks up the pieces. Idly plays with the fabric between his fingers as he takes it to the washing machine when he stumbles on her pants next to the bedroom door on his way. He chuckles when the memory of her voice echoes in his mind: all teasing and laughter while asking him to slow down, her fingers desperately trying to lift his shirt.

A hard thump hits the machine when Mason throws the clothes inside, and he arches an eyebrow while searching the pockets of her jeans. He finds her phone, taps the screen to check the battery and goes back to her room to plug it in the charger—she gets grumpy when she forgets to charge it, especially because she’s also always forgetting her charger at home. Maybe he could order one from the Agency and give it to her, so she would always have one in the Station, or maybe he could just buy one himself before his next patrol tomorrow and give it to her. It’s not like he needs to do it, but it’s convenient.

Detective sleeping, windows closed, living room tidied up, phone charging… Now what? He thinks, perching against the door frame between the bed and living rooms to scout the apartment. Mason crosses his arms in front of his chest and doesn’t notice when his eyes are drawn to the woman once again. She’s hugging his pillow—not his, but the one he uses—and seems to be comfortable, in peace. Almost as if there is not a bounty on her head—the only reason why Unit Bravo needs to babysit her all over again, every night (he volunteers most nights).

To be completely honest, he could admit that he prefers to do nothing in Corinna’s company than to be alone in the Warehouse all night, but then the fucking tingling would be back. Mason lets out a heavy sigh, turning his face away from the bedroom. Maybe he just prefers to make sure she’s safe.

As his mind wanders back and forth from the presence of the detective, his eyes spot a shadow by the sofa, nearly as tall as Corinna herself, something that wasn’t there two days ago when he last visited her. Intrigued, Mason glances one last time at the woman in bed—just making sure—and walks back to the next room. Takes just a moment for him to realise the silhouette is of a half-opened instrument case and, by the size of it, of a bass. It doesn’t come as a surprise that Corinna can play the bass, even though she has never mentioned it, but one would assume that someone who listens to (too loud) music would also try playing it.

What surprises him, however, is that the bass itself is not plain black like he expected. The body is of a rich shade of red with no shield, though Mason notices a few screw holes indicating that there was one at some point, and a dark wooden neck. There are some scratches next to the frets, but otherwise, the entire thing seems very well-kept. He takes it off the case entirely, admiring the instrument for a few seconds before sitting on the couch and bringing it to his lap. His fingers trace the sharp design of the body up to the headstock. Can’t help but imagine Corinna doing it instead, such a heavy instrument on top of her tiny figure would make her look even smaller but no less breathtaking.

His fingers close around the neck, left palm running up and down along it, and he feels each string metallic-cold, certainly rough enough to hurt. Corinna’s hands, however, are way too soft for her to play regularly—Mason recalls bringing them to his lips, letting her touch him as she pleases while stealing a kiss from her fingertips, his own caressing her knuckles and wrapping around her wrist; her heartbeat pounding into his mouth.

His right arm rests around the bass and his hand falls over the bridge, risking touching the strings there, too. Before he realises it, his index and middle fingers are perching on the top string, and he’s not sure how but he knows it’s called the fourth string, an E note, followed downwards by the third, second and first; A, D, G.

Mason pulls the fourth string up just slightly and releases it back to its place, making it rumble like thunder, so deep that it echoes through the apartment and creeps to his neck underneath his hair. It’s loud and powerful, but feels muffled when the bass is not connected to an amp. Even so, the vampire’s eyes switch to the bedroom door, worried he might wake up the detective.

The note fades away in the air as the string calms down, and all Mason can hear is the comfortable background drumming again.

Corinna is still sleeping. Her human ears probably won’t be bothered if he tried again.

He pulls the third cord, a slightly higher note takes over the living room.

His stormy grey eyes keep focused on the opened door.

No change.

It’s safe to continue, just for a little longer, and so he taps the second string as his left index holds it down on the fretboard. The sound he hears is now an F, if he recalls correctly, and he lets his finger slide down the cord. The shifting sound envelops him as he goes from the third fret to the fifth, and when he’s back on the second of the first string, the vibrations start sounding like something.

Another finger joins, then another, and suddenly he has four exploring the length of the bass. Tries to avoid the gritting texture by not pressing too hard on the strings, but the bass is as harsh as it is delightful. The soft humming of the thick strings reverberates around him, almost like wrapping himself back in Corinna’s duvet and resting his head on her pillow, feeling the warmth of her in every note.

He is not sure if he is playing it right or what he is playing at all. Surely it is something he heard in the past hundred years, but somehow his fingers trace the bass so naturally that he doubts it’s just muscle memory. As far as he remembers, music was never his thing. It’s loud, overwhelming, painful—and, sure enough, his fingers hurt as he presses and pulls one string after the other, but the stinging of the metal vanishes as he releases the sound from it.

His powers come with as many issues as there are advantages, and the constant healing of his fingertips is not proving itself to be useful. Mason senses the ghost of calluses where the bass cuts him, but the waves of the music wash his thoughts and he lets himself sigh, shoulders relaxing. Long fingers travel around the neck over the third and second strings, choreographed in an invisible tab that he feels more than he remembers.

D 3 ‿ 3 — 2 — 0 ‿ 0 — 2

A — 3 — 1 ‿ 1 — 3 ‿ 3

No lyrics follow his movements, and he keeps his pacing with the soft background drumming of the air that serves to him like a metronome. Doesn’t notice when his eyes close and his foot begins to tap over the thin rug,

five, six, seven, eight;

one, two, three, four…

Long locks of dark hair frame his cheekbones and jawline, shielding him from the outside world and letting him dive deep into the melody he plays. Even the movement of his chest, rising up and coming back down as he breathes, seems to follow each note, each vibration that caresses his arms and enters his chest.

G — 2 — 3 — 3 — 2

D 3 — 3 — 5 — 5 — 3 — 3

E — 3 — 1 — 3 — 5

The chorus that follows is much simpler, just a couple of notes over the same frets that almost sound like improvise—much like a great portion of his life lately. Playing the bodyguard is much easier than he expected, even if Corinna gets him off balance and he doesn't think much before he acts with her. It’s peaceful to be around her—like muscle memory, but not quite it.

Feels good.

The two of them just work together surprisingly well, considering that neither have a history of making a lot of friends. It’s like they have always known how to navigate each other in the absence of words—and took them long enough to realise they do not need a lot of those either. For whatever loud music she likes to listen to, Corinna herself is the opposite, so much so that she makes the world around her quieter, too.

Having her close to him, even if she’s in the other room as he plays idle notes on her bass, is something he could get used to. It doesn’t matter where or when he learned to play it—it’s like he has also always known that—or what was that prickling in his chest earlier. He is just spending some time. Just harmless fun.

Not even Adam needs to worry about it. Mason is not distracted, he is still very aware of his surroundings, especially of that soft drumming that he notices is getting closer and a little bit faster. Weird.

He heard it all around Wayhaven before, though is not all the time and he never gives much thought to it. Recalling it now, the first time he heard it was on the roof of the Warehouse with Corinna, but he also could feel (more than hear) it in that path through the woods that leads from the station to her apartment and that she seems to love, given the number of times she asks him to accompany her there instead of using her car.

Thus why he assumed it was just the forest, but then it wouldn’t be so close now. Curiosity takes the best of him, and he turns his face to the right to look at the windows. The night scenery outside is unchanged. Mason frowns, his fingers never hesitating on the strings as he tries to zero his attention on the drumming. Silver eyes roam the canopies, the sky, enters back into the apartment and follow each note he plays on a path in the air.

Oh.

He finds the source quite easily.

Corinna is standing under her door frame, arms hugging her own torso as she watches him silently, almost mimicking him moments before while she was asleep. She has her head resting against the wood and a lazy smile on her lips.

Her heart is beating to the pacing of his music.

(or, more likely, is the other way around).

The way she looks at him makes him wonder if she’s admiring or just amused by the ridiculousness of his attempt as a musician. He is not self-conscious enough to be ashamed of it, and so he keeps playing the bass, the same sequences over and over again, as his gaze explores the sight of her and everything he likes noticing about her image: the way his shirt is clearly too large for her tiny form, her short hair almost falling from behind her ear back to her face, the way her eyes, as dark as the night itself, shifts from his foot to his hands and finally to meet his own.

The silence of her heartbeat wraps him in music. It steals a smile from his lips and lets his stiff features relax on his face, just for a while as his eyes close again and he combines the sound he hears with the ones he makes. Barely even notices how his hands move or how he taps on the cords, and much less how his fingertips are starting to burn a little. Just lets himself be seen for a while longer.

“I didn’t know you had a bass,” Mason says, still letting his fingers travel through the notes while his gaze falls back to her.

“I didn’t know you could play. I like this song.”

“I don’t know which song it is.”

“It’s Earth Angel.” A smile plays on the corner of her lips as she approaches him, sitting by his side on the couch. “I think the original artists are called The Penguins, but it plays in that Back to the Future movie.”

“Never heard of it.”

“We watched it together, in the Warehouse with Felix.” Her fingers rest featherlight over his as he plays, even if his hand is much larger than hers. “And I’m always listening to it, so you probably picked it up through my earphones.”

She is kind enough to not inquire him further and her fingers follow his movements, careful to not disturb their song. Being so close to her makes his own heart flutter, and suddenly he can’t feel the rough touch of the strings hurting his fingers anymore, only the delicate caress of her hand against his. It only gets worse to focus when her voice, low and a little husky, joins the humming of the strings.

Earth angel — earth angel — please be mine

His gaze is drawn to her face, but she is not looking back at him. The dark brown of her irises keeps focused on the bass, each word following a note, dancing on the air between the two of them. He leads their waltz with the bass, her voice sways gorgeously with the rhythm and now his fingers move by themselves as he is too hypnotised to think about notes and frets.

My darling ‿ dear, — love you — all the time

Colour rises to her cheeks as she continues, probably aware of his eyes on her, but neither one of them move. That is, at least until her piercing gaze is on his again, shifting to his mouth for a mere moment in the middle of the lyrics, and only so he notices his lips contouring the words as if stealing the sounds that pour from her mouth, trying to drink the music of her. He plays, and she follows. She sings, he follows.

I'm just ‿ a fool, — a fool in love — with you

There is no way of holding back that infuriating tingling that comes back to life in his chest anymore. He can’t even lie and say it’s not there because it prickles him more than the strings under his fingers ever could—and yet, he doesn’t hate it. Mason focus all of his attention on the woman by his side and how familiar her presence is. Surprising to figure out that he has been doing exactly that for months now. She is as soothing as she is fierce and, somehow, he finds his way to her as if he always knew how.

The song comes to a harsh end when his pinky holds the wrong note and makes the bass shriek between them. It stings his hearing and Mason flinches.

“Sorry,” he mumbles, letting go of his grip on the neck of the bass.

Her fingers intertwine on his and she brings them to her lap as her other hand brushes a lock of hair from his cheek to cup his jawline. Mason lets himself be pulled into a kiss, so delicate that he doubts it’s even there, only to mourn its absence when she leans backs.

“I will go back to bed,” she whispers against him before standing up and walking lazy steps back to her room. She halts by the door and turns back to him, smiling tenderly, “Play a little bit more. It’s comfortable, like listening to your heartbeat.”

He simply nods, watching her smile widening.

“Goodnight, Mason.”

“Night, Cora.”

Feels good.

#the wayhaven chronicles #twc mason #Mason/F!Detective #specialist agent m #twc m #specialist agent mason #twc #twc fanfiction #im just throwing all tags as per usual #Corinna Kingston #Corinna x Mason #my writing #i hope tumblr behave and doesn't fuck up my tabs #wholesome wednesday

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malachi-walker · 3 years

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Hi - this isn't something I expect you to want to answer so its totally good if you don't, no worries.

I've been talking with a psychologist for a while for a number of things, and we began discussing autism recently, and the possibility of me possibly getting diagnosed with it.

I mainly follow you for she-ra and the swords (love the swords), but I noticed you discuss autism and if I recall correctly don't like autism speaks because they're not helpful for autism and treat it as a diesease?

In our talks he brought up treatment (as in get better treatment) and gave me handouts from autism speaks, and while he doesn't think I'm autistic he says a working diagnosis would probably be 'social (pragmatic) communication disorder - something he described as 'the social aspects of autism minus the repetitive behavior', because not sure if I would qualify for that.

I guess I'm just asking for your thoughts as you're someone I've seen discuss this and it's kind of throwing me for a loop.

Again, I completely understand if you don't want to answer this it's a weird ask - hope you're doing well.

Not to scare you, friend, but I think you need a better psychologist. The reason why Autism Speaks is so maligned by the autistic community is because they claim to speak for us (despite their being plenty of autistic adults fully capable of speaking for ourselves), they've only ever had one autistic on their board and he quit in disgust at their policies, and further all of their money goes towards seeking "treatment" instead of actually helping or advocating for autistics. Their latest pet project is mapping the human genome so they can find the "autistic genes" and remove them.

Autism is a condition that causes a lot of changes in the brain on a very basic level, and everyone's presentation as an autistic is different. It isn't possible to "fix" that, nor should people want to. My autistic traits, my perception of the world, my entire personality is irrevocably intertwined with my autism. If you took that away, you would have a completely different person, and I'm thankful every day that such a thing isn't possible. And I think Autism Speaks knows that, or they wouldn't put all their money behind making sure people like me aren't born anymore.

I'm not even exaggerating a little when I say the only reason why Autism Speaks hasn't been formally recognized as a hate group is because the anti-vaccers tend to hog the spotlight. They're just as fucked up in a much more insidious way. Much like the nazis, they champion eugenics. And they prey on the parents of autistic kids by promising them the fix they want, but not what any actual autistics want.

It's your life, friend. I can't tell you what to do. But I would strongly suggest getting another psychologist. Even if you aren't autistic, the fact that he is either shilling Autism Speaks knowingly or just doesn't know what they're up to (when the information is easily available through cursory level research) tells me that he is in no way equipped to handle autistic patients, and if he did diagnose you there's a good chance he would recommend treatments that would only make it worse. And honestly, while I don't want to scare you, that makes me scared for you.

I would strong recommend doing some research of your own. The thing about the autistic community is because actual psychiatric study of Autism and helpful treatment (in the sense of helping us manage the rough sides like sensory processing disorder without trying to get rid of our autistic traits) are still relatively new, that means we form communities and trade tips with each other to compensate. And most importantly we know how hard it is to get a good diagnosis and treatment, so in my experience we're open to people who have a feeling they might be autistic or are even self diagnosed. The autistic community is open to sharing information and helping you out.

Anyway, sorry I'm a little flustered (not because of you, but because your psychologist worries me) but if anyone reading here knows some good online resources for this, please add them! Most of my study has been through physical books because I did my master's thesis on helping teacher's understand and better teach their potentially autistic students, so if you wanna check a library Neurotribes and anything by Temple Grandin is also a great resource. And I really hope this helps you out! And if you wanna check out a group actually by autistics, for autistics, I recommend checking out the Autism Self-Advocacy Network. Be safe, okay? And have a good day!

#answer #autism stuff

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shyrose57 · 3 years

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Brothers anon back again. I had a sort of writers block for the last like 2 days which made it really hard to do some questions, but I got em done finally. Sorry about the wait. This one is split between the numbered questions, and next ask is the other questions you asked!

I think I accidentally skipped a question in the last one. I honestly don't completely remember but in case I did skip it by mistake, the groups first travel out of the city's limits and even further beyond in a carriage. When they reach the end of how far the driver is willing to go they then get out and start walking. With Jackie screaming about how their finally going on a adventure.

1: It thankfully doesn't get to to bad before the others notice. And he immediately told them about Dream, wanting to be very clear with what happened and what they where getting themselves into. But they accepted him anyway and helped him.

2: Isaac is the leader cause Cletus is too much of a wildcard and too impulsive to lead safely, Charles is too shy to lead, and while Benjamin is perfect for leading he doesnt really like leading and is more of a follower than a leader. But Isaac can joke around and gets along with everyone but also be able to take things seriously and know when something needs to be handled.

5: They do not, they last for a few minutes and unless its a healing or regeneration potion (in which it can take a few days for it to fully go away) they have no long lasting affects. They do know of eachothers past to an extent, they know enough to avoid triggers and enough to know what not to do when around eachother. They know through telling eachother, and they feel awful Grievous and Jackie had to deal with that, but leave it in the past and focus on making their current life better.

6: Yes and no, while Jackie did mean to throw it at Ran, he ment for it to just hit nearby him, not directly hit him. It was ment to be more of a scare/intimidation tactic than anything else honestly. Grievous's luck is for basically everything, he has won the lottery twice before actually but only those 2 times, he's correctly guessed how many items are in a container more than a few times as well.

7: I use the height charts and they help mostly for comparison, problem is I have trouble applying it to real world stuff and because of that I still have trouble knowing if something or someone is to tall or short. Jackie can get very mean, like he can make fun of someone who just lost a loved one or experienced a traumatic event at the worst. But he usually doesn't get nearly that mean, most he does normally is making fun of how someone looks or how they do certain things. The others comfort him the best they can when he gets sad, and when he gets mean they either encourage it (Grievous), or discourage it and stop him (Watson. Ran is between either encouraging or discouraging it).

8: He was! He spent most of his life adventuring actually! He misses it somedays now since he lives in Subbin, but he believes giving up his adventuring life for a family and friends who needed him is a more than far trade and would happily pick his family over adventuring again. For around 4 years after Ran left Mizu (including the day he left), Ran traveled everywhere, and learned how to survive himself and taught himself different things, like sewing. Ran has made new socks, fixed clothes, and made blankets for everyone at least once. Watson also designs bows and arrows for show, for top functionality, and for just simple (training) gifts to the others. Ran (and Watson) has visited the nether, though Ran tended to stay in it longer than Watson cause he could withstand the temperatures better. And while digging a new tunnel across the nether he ran into ancient debris, which he then messed with until he figured out to mix it with gold and coat his sword in it. He tried to find more ancient debris but sadly hasn't found any, leaving his sword permanently damaged and at risk of breaking. Jackie isn't good at all at painting, its more of a hobby he's trying out. They try to camp out there at least once a week, where Grievous will sometimes build a pillowfort and either force everyone inside or play a game of capture the fort with them. Sometimes Ran will also read during the pillowfort nights, but not to often. Jackie wants to vist a Snow, Savanna, Jungle, Tagia, and if possible, a Ice Spike biome. He also wants to vist the nether but he'll have to fight Ran on that. Ran and Jackie's secondary titles are in Javanese!

9: Ran just kinda went "Hey Jackie, stand still for a second." "Ok?" And then he just picked him up and threw up.

10: When he's first given dinner after already eaten lunch, he just kinda stares at the food. Then asks if they meant to give him food, and when the others say yes, he asks why because he thought people only ate once every few days. His answer shocked the others and they ask him to explain, and he explains futher that he was only allowed to eat and drink once every 3 days. Their horrified by this answer but explain to him how theres 3 meals a day and he can drink whenever, he doesn't believe them at first but eventually accepts it.

11: When the fishermen first come to Ranbob about their worry, he expresses the same worry as them. But says that it's unlikely Ran will hurt the fishermen specifically, because Rans haunting are already friends with them, and Ran wouldnt risk breaking the friendship unless he deemed it necessary for their safety.

12: Ranbob is sad that Ran goes to such lengths to avoid him and keep people away from him, but he has resigned himself to it. As he knew that if Ran was alive it was greatly unlikely that he would trust him and knew he would be avoided. Which is actually particularly why he believes Ran will never trust him again and why he views Ran as a kind of lost family member. One he'll never get back no matter what he does.

13: Their first stop is a nearby flower biome, and after that Watson has planned to lead them to a waterfall he found with a shattered Savanna somewhat close to it. They plan to travel for a minimum of 6 months, they can actually travel for as long as they want to, but Prokius made them agree that they must be back before the next General Pit Battles (which happens once every 5 years).

14: He would 100% run himself into the ground until he's barely alive while searching for them. Benjamin compares Ranbob wanting to go back to Dream, to an abused person wanting to go back to their abusive lover. They believe they've changed and that they truly do love them and want the best for them, but in reality that's not it at all and others have to help them see thats not true and help them save themselves. So it doesn't surprise Benjamin or Isaac that much (it surprises Charles and Cletus though), and after its explained to them, their all more than willing to help Ranbob get over Dream and help him be himself again.

15: Oh definitely. Once they hear the Green-Eyed Enderman is back from hiding they all set out again, and after the group gets attacked and once word spreads that its in a group and there's another enderman with them, they all get targeted. With the Gladiators and Fishermen being targeted as bait or hostages to try to trick the enderman into following a trap. Ran wasnt affected like his brother was. Im talking about trauma and maybe even a bit of PTSD that came from Mizu, caused by Dream. Though both of the brothers have gained different amounts of trauma and PTSD from Dream. I may give the raven to either Watson or Ran, I think its fits both of them really well. I want to have them come across ruins of other Tales but im not sure which ones. Maybe they could find the remains of the Wild West Tale and the Haunted Mansion?

Glad to see you, Brothers Anon, and excited to read!

1: The perfect start to an Adventure. And a funny mental image. Imagining these two groups cramped into carriages is pretty amusing. How ready was everyone to get out by the time they could?

2: The fishermen are really great, and Ranbob is very lucky. I love them.

3: Isaac sounds like he’s a pretty good fit for it then. But nobody’s perfect! What are some flaws of his, leadership-wise?

5: Interesting. What makes Regeneration and Healing last longer? I suppose it’s not relative to the AU, but I am a bit curious. What’s the world’s potions mechanisms, if you don’t mind me asking? And that’s good! They may not know everything, but they know what to avoid, and that’s important. Everyone’s moved forward and are making the best of life, and honestly, that’s pretty cool of them.

6: Welp, Jackie, it seems intimidation tactic failed. However, you have managed to anger Ran, so..there’s that. He won the lottery? Dang. Well, if they ever need money, they can just send him to the nearest casino, I suppose.

7: Aight, so I may have a solution for you there. Whatever height you’re going for, find something in real life that’s just about the same height. Like a tree, or something. Or not, we can always just leave it at short enough to be tossed and tall enough to be the tosser. Jackie sounds like he knows where to hit to make it hurt, honestly. It’s good that they comfort him, though I am curious why they all react as they do to him being mean. Why does Grievous encourage it? And is it more of a depends on the day thing for Ran, or a depends on what was said to Jackie, and what Jackie’s saying thing?

8: Nice! What kind of places did he go? Does he have any particularly interesting knickknacks from that time period? And Ran personally sounds like he knows what he’s doing. Watson’s weapons sound really cool, where did he learn to make them? Is visiting the Nether not a common occurrence these days? Or is it simply that the others never got around to it before? Well, hobbies are always fun to try. Does Jackie keep at it and get better or get bored and try something else? How does Capture the Fort go with these guys, considering they’re gladiators? Why does Jackie want to visit those particular biomes? Is there a reason, or do they just sound cool to him? And why would Ran not want them going to the Nether? Because of the danger?

9: FDXGHJ- He just- tossed him?? No warning?? Oh my gods, I’m dying. How did Jackie react to that? Heck, how did Porkius react to that? I doubt anyone was expecting that display.

10: Oh, no. Now I really want to punch Dream in the face. What the heck, Dream?! He legit asks if they meant to give him food...If one of the fishermen or gladiators doesn’t eventually find a way to punch Dream, I will be forced to travel realities and do it myself.

11: Kind of sad that Ranbob was equally concerned about it. But hey! He won’t have to be, one day!

12: Poor Ranbob. I hope he’s proven wrong, eventually. Do the fishermen know that he thinks this? If so, how do they feel about it? Or does he kind of just keep those thoughts to himself?

13: Flower biomes are really pretty. What did everyone think about it? Did they bring any flowers with them? So this roadtrip could possibly go on for a few years. Did they leave just after a General Pit Battle, or do they have like, less than five years? Speaking of General, is Jackie still the General in this AU? Does he have extra duties because of it? Or is that not something that happened in this AU?

14: Yikes. Reactions to this? Why does Ranbob believe Dream’s changed, as you put it? Is Dream still able to talk to him, or is it because he just misses being there? So Benjamin and Isaac aren’t all that surprised about it. Do they take the reins in helping out? And how do they all do so? It’s good that they’re helping him though.

15: Well, this sounds like it can’t end well. They try to use the hauntings as bait? Is anyone actually captured? Rescue missions? And alright, that makes a bit more sense. I can see how they’d both be effected differently, and honestly, they’d probably both have very different perspectives of the event, all things considered. Ravens for the win! And it’d be really cool for them to come across the ruins of old Tales buildings. Can you imagine the kind of things they’d find? Diaries, faded photographs, moth-eaten clothes, blood stained floors...Like a walk in the past, but they’ll never know what came to be for the people of that time.

#Brothers AU #dream smp #dream smp au #ranbob #tales from the smp #ran #jackie #watson #grievous #isaac #benjamin #cletus #charles #porkius

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shippedwithmonsters · 3 years

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Okay, so I'll start with Sophie.

(The actual gushing starts after a hearty bit of expository infodumping; read at your discretion)

I call her "Sophie" because her name is Sophia in the set of characters she was previously grouped with —

(Here's the complicated origin bit: She was originally based on a similar character in my current 'verse, but I imported her design into what amounts to a highly customizable girlfriend-themed paper doll/dress-up app, and I've been steadily creating new characters based on my now 7 designs there over the past 6 years, but I wasn't sure how to re-integrate Sophie into the 'verse she originally came from because out of all of them she was the only one who started there. Actually, if I'm gonna get really meta, I made an avatar for her on the app because she's always been the character I was most attracted to, but I felt weird thinking of her that way because I already designed a canon love interest for her, and even though he's technically also an S/I, he's like an idealized version of me that I have trouble relating to... ...but after exploring self-shipping in the past few months, I figured out how to incorporate her back into my main 'verse as a new character, and while I've had a version of her on the app for a while now, I'm so happy to have her back in-universe in a form my current, more-relatable S/I can interact with.)

—in this 'verse I haven't fully decided on her name, but she's probably "Galatea" (because out of all the designs that in-universe are creations loved so much by their creator that they were given life, she's the one who the name's literal translation best applies to i.e. "milk-white").

She's pretty much my ideal person, if I had to pick only one person. (I may or may not be considered polyamorous; it's more that I've long doubted I'll ever find one person who is simultaneously all the personality types I'm into. Irl I've only loved once and... ...it didn't work out.)

She's a lot like me, personality-wise (devoted, meticulous, and simultaneously hard-wired for logic and overwhelmed by feelings, et al) because on some level that's really the only kind of person that would work for me, so I designed her that way.

Visually, she's slightly taller than me (although about the same height as my S/I) She's pale white like bone or marble with at least waist length black hair and deep indigo eyes (again several of these traits she shares with my S/I, reflecting the above "like me" aspect.

Oh, and she's kind of a vampire? It's more accurate to say she was modeled with all the same traits as my 'verse's vampires (claw nails included) but like all of my other F/O's she's a mineral construct themed after a sea creature, in her case a Vampire Squid. Because of course. Mineral-wise I'm toying with making her diamond because Twilight was a big thing for me back in the day, but she's less sparky vampire and more cold dense statue physiology vampire.

Ok so ^this is why I asked for time 🙃

Now to actually gush about her 😳

-I could stare into her eyes for hours. Days even.

-She knows this, and stares at me when she wants attention.

-In one particular instance, she was ready to go to bed, but I was staying up to work on something, so she basically said "don't mind me, I'll just be sitting here enjoying the view until you're ready"

-The reason for this is because she can't sleep without me. Sometimes she just stays up because "vampires watching their partner sleep" tendencies run deep, but when she feels tired, she likes to lay on top of me and listen to my heartbeat, gaze into my eyes, let me hold her tight and stroke her hair, etc, until she feels safe enough to drift off, and with the weight of her body pressing me into the bed it doesn't take long for me to follow.

-You might be asking, "wait, didn't you say she was cold and stone-like?" Yep!

-Because of this, before bed, we get to engage in a couple of my other favorite rituals- bathing and massages touch-starvation.

-Here's the fun part: because she's like me, she simultaneously prefers giving to receiving affection (like your vampire boy if I recall correctly) and willing consents to receiving said affection because she knows I feel the same way, and vice versa. So we take turns.

-Bathing together so she's warm and slippery, and washing each other's hair because it drives us both wild...

-Exploring each other's bodies (I love her shoulder blades) and leaving the other barely coherent from the sensuality, then carrying them bridal-style off to bed... (I feel so safe cradled in her arms 😳 and then she straddles me...)

-So since her physiology is stone-like, while she's initially cold, she retains heat. So when it's cold, after a hot bath, she keeps me warm all night... (and of course she can be a more traditional cold-to-the-touch vampire during warmer weather etc)

-Ok ok one more thing, and then I'll gush about someone else. Since we both love giving affection, one of our shared passions is taking care of my (/our) other F/O Nettie. I'll get back to her, but regardless of the fact that this version of her is wildly different than her original concept, either way she's an athletic/tomboy type who overexerts herself, and Sophie and I take one look at our tired and sweaty girlfriend, nod at each other, then scoop her off her feet and carry her off to be pampered senseless in many of the same activities mentioned above.

...yeah I really went overboard I just love her so much. Small endnote: a lot of the imagines I write are about Sophie, and part of the reason I described her above interacting with me rather than my S/I is because those imagines are set somewhere between the 'verse I'm currently writing and the app I designed her on. Because I love imagining soft domestic stuff with her but there's slightly less room for that in my canon, so in a sense I really do self-ship with her out-of-context as if she was a more traditional F/O rather than the OC F/O she is. Sorry if any if this is too dense or complicated but feel free to ask for clarifications and stay tuned for more gushing 😊

Definitely no way I can completely comprehend all this tonight, but thank you for telling me about Sophie! I am curious, what dress up app do you use? All the ones I used to use to make my characters died when Flash died. :(

Okay, actually I did read the whole thing and umm I loves? Sophie sounds amazing! And goodness, what is it about falling asleep with vampires that's so darn appealing? rofl.

Thank you for all this! It honestly made me really happy to read!

#shipped with monsters

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sasarahsunshine · 3 years

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I am sorry if this is filling up your inbox, but I kinda felt like I needed to justify what I wrote (I am the person who told the story about moving in with his autistic friend) because I really did not mean any bad with it.

I totally understand the other anon's and your points. OF COURSE it's not okay to get angry or frustrated or even hurt an autistic person because of something they can't control and yes: I do not deserve any credit at all for that but I want to clarify that there is hardly a thought as repelling to me as the one of hurting or even yelling at her. Believe me when I say that I love her with every piece of my heart and she is my everything since we are five years old.

However, I wrote this because sometimes I will get frustrated never the less. Not at her but with the situation and I know I am not allowed to act on it in those moments. Nobody is being helped when I get angry at her or do things that weren't thought through but believe me, maybe even because I love her so much, sometimes you will just sit there and cry when you tried for hours finding out what is wrong and just nothing works.

And yes: Your point that I should have never moved her in with someone who could possible get frustrated or aggressive is absolutely right and I didn't. We all have been friends for years and I know she gets nothing but love from them but moving in together is still something different than just being friends. You are together in one place the whole day, you can't restrict character traits your maybe even don't like about yourself as much and honestly it's something we all expected and we were also perfectly aware of the fact that even though we never asked her to mask around us that there still can be a lot more aspects of her disability we just don't know about. (And maybe she didn't either)

But I can say that even if there where little fights it was never about something where it was clear that there is no room to fight because it is about each other's wellbeing.

I know that every one of the people living with us would help her just as I do even if that means, like a few mornings ago, sitting on the bathroom floor for an hour until her body is fully dried because the towels where a no-go touch and clothes on wet skin made her scream on top of her lungs.

Lastly: I wrote this with the knowledge that she would be okay with this and yes unless she doesn't switch her hyper-fixation, she will never read this because criminal minds and I quote:"makes my brain feel like a fever dream". I know "she will never read this" is not a green card to just share her struggles but no one will ever know who I am and where we are even coming from but to clarify that too: She, herself, is sometimes very open about her struggles online, as long as I don't publish her name or pictures she is more than okay with it.

I wrote this because the first few weeks of living together she did not talk and often did a very good job in just blocking us out and not reacting. We spend nights sleeping in front of her door to make sure she is okay and we tried everything. Like it was correctly guessed it's our first time living alone and we where just scared that what we are doing will traumatize her even more. We all expected some snappiness or anxiety from her but we did not expect her to shut down completely. And we, right now, don't know if she even expected it herself.

Sending this anon message just gave me the opportunity to tell this to someone because many people reacted like we are ruining our ""youth"" with making this decision and we heard that several times even before moving in so yes, I was just looking for some praise for doing the bare minimum and for someone to tell me that's alright after so many people telling us it will be the worst time of our live which honestly even if you are fully convinced makes you insecure. Especially when our parents, who really love her too, where so skeptical about it even if it means getting her out of an abusive household and I get their intention, and we got a lot of support from them in the end but when they come to visit and they kinda see exactly what they warned us about, they of course are going to speak their worries.

But I still, even after all these weeks, am very happy with that decision. I live with my best friend and girlfriend and more friends around. Nothing makes me as happy as getting up in the morning and seeing the chaos of these people in the kitchen. I could have never imagined moving in without her and leaving her in our old town.

Despite this I am still very open to learn and I am gonna make sure I phrase things more clearly in the future, the last thing I wanted to do is hurt someone with this.

If the anon who wrote that message reads this: I am truly sorry if I offended of even hurt you. I know this blog is for many people a safe place and it was never my intention to hurt that.

(I don’t actually have much to say to this aside from what I’ve already said in the previous persons ask, but I want you to know that I am still very proud of you for being patient and loving and kind to your friend. And I am very glad that you want to continue learning how to be a better advocate and how to understand ASD).

(Also you saying this blog is a safe place made me smile and I appreciate that you guys see it that way, because that’s all I’ve ever wanted <3)

I love you, Anon! Thank you for taking the time to message back and open up communication between yourself and the other Anon (man I need a better way to label you guys).

Also, if you can, tell your friend that I’m proud of her for taking the leap into all this change, and that she’s doing amazing as she slowly figures out how to create a new routine and come out of her shell. Keep loving her and supporting her <3

#sarah replies #ask #anon #autism #asd #tw discussion #discussion #I don’t know how to tag this lol #not cm #vent ask #venting

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