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patrophthia · 2 years

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love is sour grapes | theo. nott

pairing: theodore nott x hufflepuff!reader

genre: fluff, angst (if you squint), unrequited love but not really, everyone is an idiot, self indulgent, not beta read.

word count: 5.9K

originally posted on ao3 on: 06/28/2022

"Uhm— would you like to—"

He turned to me calmly, the rest of his appearance devoid of emotions.

"—go out sometimes?" I finished. "As a Date?"

One, two, three beats passes and all Theodore did was look at me. No answer. No emotions. No words. Nothing.

Or Theodore is a quiet piece of shit and that leads to miscommunication and complicated feelings

Theodore Nott. The one constant thought that has been running through my head way too often for my liking. He was handsome, quiet, smart, lanky in all the right ways and never seemed to be engaged in a conversation —or at least one where he was talking instead of just listening and listening and listening.

Talking to him had always been one of my goals, it shouldn't have, really, it shouldn't. But somehow I had found myself more than just infatuated with him.

Theodore was an observant person, if he noticed me studying him, he never confronted me about it.

But, as my friend says it, Theodore Nott is sour grapes. Or, in better words, love is sour grapes. If this even was love that is.

"I think you should just talk to him," Hermione says kindly. "I still don't think that he would be good for you but if you fancy him that much then go ahead."

"If you want a death wish that is," Ron snickered. "Honestly, can't you have picked a better guy to fancy? I mean— Nott? Of all people."

"Do you want me to fancy Malfoy instead? Would that make you happy," I quipped, hearing Hermione hide a laugh between closed lips. "Or god forbid, you."

Ron face contorted to one of offense. "I'm notthatbad."

"Yeah sure," I murmured, with no malice. And turned to Harry who had been quiet about the situation ever since he found out. "What do you think?"

Harry shrugged, looking startled. "I don't know," He said first, and then. "I think you need someone better than Nott. You're friendly and thoughtful—" he paused hesitantly. "—and you're quite awfully pretty."

"Thank you, Harry." My eyes fell downwards with no real intention. I was none of those things. "But I don't think he'd agree."

"What does it matter if he agrees," Hermione said loudly. "Harry's right. You're all of those things. It's his loss if he doesn't go out with you. You're fit, incredibly so. I would be happy if someone like you were to ever fancy me."

If Ron had a reaction to those words, neither Hermione nor Harry noticed.

"Well," I said as a group of Slytherin walked into the Potions classroom. Potions would be starting any minute now, and I needed to head into class before Snape does. "I'll keep that in mind. If all fails, I'll just have to marry you, Mione."

With a final smile, I bid them a quick goodbye and made my way into class. The three of them heading to which ever direction they needed to be.

The class quickly starts, and Snape wasted no time in assigning me a potion to make. Invigoration Draught. The potion that energizes the drinker. How fun.

The ingredients were mostly easy to obtain. Peppermint, Honeywater, Stewed Mandrake then there's Dried billywig sting: my biggest nightmare.

I was only so tall and the shelves where the ingredients were stored stood so so high. I would've used a stool had it been free to use, but a Slytherin had already been occupying it and it would be rude if I were to take it away from them.

There was a cough behind my back, and then, a hand reached; over me and towards the exact thing I needed. Dried billywig sting: my new biggest enemy.

The person pulled back —jar filled with billywig in hand, and stood still as I turned to them. The jar had a decent amount of billywig in it, if they needed it I could still manage to ask for just enough for my potion. That is if they were kind enough to let me have some.

"Could I—" I paused mid-turn. There stood Theodore Nott in all his glory. Dark eyes, dark hair and facial features that looked like every part of him was chosen by Aphrodite herself, watching me with a raised eyebrow. "—uhm, could I have a few of those? I needed it for my potion but I couldn't reach it."

Theodore blinked once, looking unfazed and handed the jar over.

I blinked twice the time he did, opening up the jar; intending on taking out a few and handing it back over when he stopped me.

"I don't need it."

His voice.

"You don't?" I find myself asking, trying not to breathe too loud or to forget how to even breathe in the first place.

Theodore shook his head once. And reached up for something else. Had he seen me struggle and had gotten it just for me?

"Thank you," I tell him. Theodore nodded once, accepting it as it is. I think you should just talk to him. Goddamn it, Granger. "Uhm— would you like to—"

He turned to me calmly, the rest of his appearance devoid of emotions.

"—go out sometimes?" I finished. "As a Date?"

One, two, three beats passes and all Theodore did was look at me. No answer. No emotions. No words. Nothing.

Whether he was scrutinizing me or not, I didn't know. What I do know is that I was wrong and stupid. And my friends were wrong too.

He needed more than me. I might be friendly and kind and maybe quite awfully pretty. But Theodore needed more than me.

"You know what." I cleared my throat, smiling. "Forget I said anything. Have a good day, Nott."

•••

I had been down lately. My friends noticed that. Even Harry and Ron noticed it and they were as daft as they come. Whenever they asked me what was wrong I find myself telling them that I was just stressed over my O.W.Ls.

Which I was. But it was mostly a lie to cover up something I was more upset about. I had idiotically asked Theodore out and now I have to face the consequences of being rejected.

I think —in some ways— him having not even say 'no' or have given a clearer answer was more upsetting then if he had just said no out loud.

It was stupid of me to get my hopes up and think that anything else would've happened. It was stupid for me to even think I was in his league.

It was also late. I hated walking back to the common rooms in these hours but it was my fault for procrastinating my essay until the night before it was due so I had to rush the entire thing in an hour in the library. I had only hoped that Umbridge wouldn't punish me for being out pass curfew.

I had one more hall left to turn before I reached the Hufflepuff's barrels when someone shouted out my surname, halting me in my place.

Fast pace footsteps approached and then, donning from head to toe in pink was Umbridge. Fuck.

"What do you think you're doing out of your dorm at this time?" She asked quickly, her toad like face twitching with irritation.

"I was in the library and lost track off time," I quickly confessed. "I'm so sorry. My dorm's close by and I—"

"It was my fault professor." His voice. "I’d asked for her help and lost track of time. She was trying to head back before curfew but it seems like her efforts were to no avail. I can only hope you would excuse her and blame me for my faults."

Umbridge looked baffled. He talked? Theodore talked? She made that annoying noise that she can't seemed to get rid off. "Well." her voice laced with false kindness.

"I see no point in deducting any points." She then turned to me. "But I will be expecting to see you tomorrow for separating yourself from help at a time as late as this. Merlin knows, it's dangerous for a girl to wander alone at this time."

"Just me?" I asked, slightly confused.

Her eyes flashed with annoyance. "Do you expect Mister Nott here to be punished for wanting to make sure you got back to your dorm safe?"

That wasn’t what he— okay. Fine. Whatever.

"Now, go off," she said with a wave of her hand. "And Theodore, would you be so kind as to walk her back? I don't want to know the troubles she might cause when I let her out my sight."

Theodore nodded, doing as he was told and took a step forward. He looked behind his shoulders, his eyes meeting mine and tilted his head slightly: signaling that we should leave now before it gets worse.

I avoided Umbridge's eyes and stepped forward, trailing after Theodore. Detention. All because I was too lazy to finish my essay any other time I had.

I think I feel my eyes water. I think it feels harder to breathe. I don't know for sure how I feel exactly despite dejected and disappointed with myself.

If I had just made one different choice, I wouldn't have to have detention with the one professor known to physically harm the students. And to top it off, being walked back to my common room by the boy who recently rejected me whilst bottling up my feelings about everything I did wrong.

"You don't have to actually walk me back." I paid no heed to the crack of my voice. Theodore does though. "It's late." I pointed out the obvious. "You should go."

Theodore glanced at me quickly. His look was so quick that I suspected he had planned to only spare me a second of his time. But something about me, something about how vulnerable I must've looked, had him pausing.

"I shouldn't." He said slowly, his tone so attentively that it made me think that he had saw something in me that I never did. "I can't leave you."

"You can." I don't think I can handle being near him any longer, not when he was studying me so cautiously. "It's only a few steps away, I can assure you I'll be fine."

Theodore eyes flickered down the corridor quickly, finally tearing themselves away from me and looked forward, continuing towards the direction of my common room.

When we finally reached where we needed to be. Theodore stood back watching as I tapped the barrels carefully.

I looked over my shoulder once the path opens up. Smiling slightly when I found his eyes on me. "Thank you for taking the blame, Theo. You didn't have to and you did and spared me way too many house points. I really appreciate it."

He made a noise of acknowledgment, taking my word as it is. And then, as he was about to step away. "Goodnight."

•••

I think I hate life. I might be wrong but life sucks. Especially when you have to repeatedly write the same sentence over and over again with a magic quill that tears through your skin.

That can't have been a legal source of punishment but Umbridge made the rules so it was no use fighting her about it.

My hand hurts. Holy fuck, does it hurt. I don't even have to glance down at it for me to see my skin burning red, bleeding slightly. Curved out in the sentence. I will not be out pass curfew.

"You alright there?" Came a voice.

I looked up quick and abruptly, sure that I'll get whiplash from my actions; to find George Weasley watching me with interest. I smiled, subconsciously hiding away my hand. "I'm fine."

"You sure?" He followed up. "You don't look too good."

I nodded, trying to look as reassuring as possible. "I'm fine, just got a paper cut is all."

He fixes me a look of disbelief but let it slides. "You should go," he said with a small smile. "I think Ron's looking for you? Something about slimey snakes and what not."

"Oh." The sound slipped out. "Thank you, I'll go find him."

It was weird to see George without Fred but I decided that I didn't want to know why. They were probably setting up a prank and I had walked right through it.

Bidding George a goodbye. I continued down the corridor, turned the corridor and found the trio standing by with Draco Malfoy, Blaise Zabini, and Theodore Nott by their sides. This can't be good.

Is this what George referred to when he said Ron was looking me about some slimey snakes?

"There she is," Malfoy said with mild annoyance. "We've been looking for you."

"You have?" My eyes drifted to Hermione but she only shrugged, looking as clueless as I was. "Why?"

Malfoy took a steps towards me. "You've been with Professor Umbridge?"

"Yes." I nodded. "Why?"

"Did she give you the quill?"

What was he playing at? Why was he interrogating me? "Yes." I repeated. "Why?"

Zabini rolled his eyes and step up, seemingly having enough of Malfoy's dramatics. "Here." He handed out a bottle. "It's Murtlap essence. Suppose to help you with the cuts. Nott made it for you."

"He did?" I asked, taking the bottle of Murtlap essence from Zabini's hand. I turned to look at Theodore, finding his eyes glued to my bleeding hand that was grasping the bottle. Jerking my hand back, I smiled, thanking him. "Thank you for this, I really appreciate and for uhm— thanks again for covering for me last night."

Everyone —all but Theodore and I— brows raised upwards, surprised. So they didn't know about what had happened last night.

Theodore showed no outwards reaction, having just watch me with a straight face and patient eyes. Then he turned to Zabini and tilted his head slightly. Zabini seemingly understood, slapped a hand over Malfoy's shoulder and with a goodbye, steered the blond boy away.

"Bloody hell," Ron said exasperatedly. "Did that really happen?"

"Nott made you Murtlap essence?" Hermione asked more to herself than anyone else. "How did he even know you needed it?"

"I—" I stopped, glancing at my hand. "—I was out pass curfew and Umbridge caught me. Nott took the blame for it. I think Umbridge was too surprised with hearing him talk to properly acknowledge that he too was out of the dorms pass curfew. She said she won't take away any house points but gave me detention as a punishment."

"That's all?" Hermione said. "Why would Nott take the fall for it and then proceed to make Murtlap essence for you if there wasn't anything in it for him?"

"I don't know," I told her, shrugging. "He also walked me back to my common room and wouldn't leave me when I insisted otherwise."

"Do you think." Ron started. "Maybe that Nott fancies you?"

"No." I was quick to shake my head in disagreement. "He's doesn't. He's made that clear already."

"He has?" Harry asked loudly, brows knitted together.

"Yeah," I murmured. "That day I talked to the three of you. I asked him during class if maybe we could go out on a date sometimes and he didn't say anything. Not a yes. Not a no. Nothing."

"That's terrible," said Hermione sympathetically. "Honestly, what kind of person rejects someone then proceed to do things as if they cared for them."

"Hermione," said Harry cautiously, eyes shifting between me and her. "I don't think that does anything to soothe her nerves."

"Sorry." Hermione blinked in realization. "It's just— you deserve better. I don't understand a thing Nott's doing and I don't want you to get hurt in the process."

"He could be figuring out his feelings," Ron suggested making Hermione shoot a sharp glare his direction. Ron tsked. "I'm just pointing it out."

"Well it's not helping." Hermione said in an obvious tone. Her eyes drifted down to my hand, scanning the words then looked back up. "I think you should head back and take care of your hand. You don't want it to scar now, do you?"

I nodded, waving. "I'll see you at dinner?"

Hermione let out an agreeing hum and went on her way, Ron pestering her from behind. Harry hadn't moved though, looking at me with furrowed brows. "Could I maybe have some of your Murtlap essence?"

"Yeah." I handed it over. "I didn't know you had to endure Umbridge as well."

"Didn't think it was important to mention." He pulled out an empty ink pot from his bag and twisted it open, pouring just enough essence to not overflow it. Harry put the cap back on and handed it back over. "Don't tell Hermione or Ron, will you? I don't want to be a bother."

" 'course." I smiled. "I won't tell anyone."

•••

What are the chances that I get caught being out pass curfew twice in the same week. Pretty fucking high because I was once again being called out late at night.

Two sets of foot steps stops before me and it took me roughly five seconds to realize just how grave the situation was. Draco Malfoy stood tall and smug with Hannah Abott by his side looking tired —if a little irritated by Malfoy's presence.

"What are you doing out, badger?" Malfoy asked.

"I was heading back from the kitchens." Malfoy made a face and glanced down at my outfit that looked way too overdressed to be heading down to the kitchens.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes." It was clear that I was caught in a lie. Goddamn you, Radiohead concert. "I must've lost track of time."

Hannah looked like she wanted to say something but bit her tongue. Not wanting any of her words to be counted as it being biased just because I was her dorm mate.

And then, as I waited to hear Malfoy state just how many points he wanted to take away from my house. He said with annoyance, "you can go." Unfazed to the look of surprise that showed up on both mine and Hannah's faces. "Tell Nott he owes me one."

•••

I don't think my head could —or will ever fully comprehend "tell Nott he owes me one." I don't know why exactly but that sentence feels way more ominous than it ought to be.

ott does not owe him anything for letting me go.

And I don't think I owe Nott anything for helping me be let go? maybe I could've phrased that better. What I meant to say is that: I owe Nott nothing for his friend's behavior towards me. At least I don't think I do.

But things works in mysterious way. Like how —despite how ironic I find it— Nott always find out a way to help me out during potions. Especially when it came to the ingredients.

Though that was the least of my concerns right now. My concern, for now, is revolved between the three books in my hand that I can't decide —for the life of me— which one to buy.

On other occasions I would buy all three and went about my day but I had only brought enough money for one book and food for the rest of the day at Hogsmeade, and my friend didn't seem like they'd be heading back to Hogwarts for extra cash any time soon.

I looked over my options once more, trying to figure out which one would be the bang of my buck.

Option one: All Or Nothing, a novel about a girl trying to navigate relationships with the people she surrounded herself with and see whether they would react differently when she gave them her all, and then; how they would react when she gave them nothing. 863 pages.

Option two: Glimpse Of Us, a novel about a boy who always —and I mean always, sees his ex in the girls he dates after her. 295 pages.

Option three: Listen boy, a cheesy novel about a girl who had little to no interest when it comes to going on dates with guys but when her roommate compliments her on the socks she wore, she finds herself wanting to do nothing but go on dates with them. 530 pages.

Both Glimpse Of Us and All Or Nothing seems like sad book. Maybe it's time for me to find some joy in my life —which seems to seize to exist after whatever happened between me Nott happened. As I turned, intending to put those two books back in their respective places. I was more than surprise to find Nott looking at me with a slight fascinated tilt to his head.

“Which is it?”

"Hmm?" I find myself humming. Should I pick All Or Nothing instead? Wouldn't that make me seem more intelligent than a book about a girl being in love with her roommate.

"Which one have you chose?" He clarified, and I might've imagined it —no I definitely did because, Theodore Nott's lips did not just curve up at all.

"This one." I lifted up whatever was in my right hand which just happens to be Listen boy. And there goes sounding more intelligent in front of Theodore. "It seems cute."

"Is that all?" He followed up and it's then that I realize he was wearing a forest green that had no reasons to make him look as good as it did. Green really was his colour. "Nothing more?"

"No." I shook my head. "Ideally I would like two get these two as well," I told him truthfully. "But I only brought enough for one —technically two, if I stretched it out but that would mean no snacks for the rest of the day so it's a no."

"I'll get it for you then," he says casually. Like it's something you say to someone you recently rejected. Like he was walking around, waiting for someone to tell him that they haven't brought enough cash for the other books they wanted. "Would you like anything else? I am more than willing to indulge you."

"No, I don't." I stop myself. Yes, I mean. Because I really did want other books, especially if someone else was paying for it but I know that my poor heart cannot handle it.

It is already breaking apart at how handsome he looked with his forest green jumper and black ironed pants. His hair, a usual dark brown, just the slightest tinge brighter under the sunlight (which is both a sight for sore eye and a rare view since I only ever see him in the dungeons, hunched over a bubbling pot and disgusting lightings) which flatters him in all the best way possible.

And no, my heart is not picking up a million paces over I am more than willing to indulge you in that very tone of voice, in that very set of clothes, in very set of lighting, by that very Slytherin that I could not seem to get over.

"You don't have to," I insisted, trying to not shiver under his gaze. He narrows his eyes and it says way more than words could ever say. He knows he doesn't, he wants to. Oh lord save me. "Maybe this one? It's cheaper."

"That was not my question," he said curtly. "I asked you if you'd like anything else, not which option was cheaper."

What are we even talking about now? Was he planning on buying me the three books in my hands and more or was he planning on letting me pay for my choice then pay for the others I couldn't afford.

Is my face that much of an open book? Because, without even having to say it. Theodore had already answered my questions for me. "I'll buy you the three in your hands and anymore you'd like. I'd buy you the whole store if you wanted me to."

I think I'm having a heart attack. Or dreaming. Or both. I can't tell. Maybe I'm dreaming while having a heart attack? Who knows. All I know is that Theodore Nott did not just say that. Did he?

"No." I shake my head quickly, maybe even too quickly. "No, I— these three are more than enough. I promise to pay you back when we get back to school."

Theodore fixes me a look. One ridiculing me to the point that I wished —more than anything— that I was a bludger being hit so hard I pass through the most oblivious of oblivions. I'm so sure that that would be less stressful.

"I mean it!" I press all three books to my side. "I promise, and I always keep my promise. I won't take advantage of your money, I will get it and find you as soon as I—"

I didn't see the point in finishing my words because he was smiling. And laughing. I think. It's a mixture of those two and it's so heavenly that I believe in everything ethereal alike.

Theodore noticed my silence, the side of his lips curved the slightest bit (so so small and tiny that you couldn't even spot it), looking at me with clearly amused eyes. And then, "did you not hear me?"

"What?" The words slipped out easily.

"I told you I'd buy you the whole store if you'd like and you think I'd want my money back?" He said slowly. "I couldn't care less about the money. I just wanted to make you happy. Salazar knows, I've made you upset more often than I could count between my fingers."

Now what the fuck was he on about. He has never made me upset —save for rejecting me that one time, but I understood it, he didn't like me, that's that. I have gotten over. I think. But I'm more than sure that I could count that one event between his ten fingers.

Unless Theodore only had one finger? Does he? I cast a glance down to his hands and there are those ten fingers. Ten exactly. Not one short or one more. Ten and a couple of silver bands that made me want to do nothing but sit and stare at his long, pale, slim fingers. And how they would feel around my— nope, nope. Absolute not.

"Merlin, we leave Nott alone and he goes around trying to find his girlfriend." Girlfriend?

When the owner of the voice, Zabini, finally arrives before me and Theodore, I was no where near surprised to see the other Slytherins in their group by his side.

Parkinson. Malfoy. And finally, Greengrass —whom I was actually friends with.

"Well?" Zabini muttered, eyes shifting between me and Theodore, and then landing on him solely. "Are the pair of you planning on standing here the whole day?"

"No," I said with narrowed eyes. "I don't know what he's doing here, I'm just trying to buy a book."

Zabini raised a brow. "Is that all, princess?"

"Pretty much." This feels like a trap. Is this a trap? "Are you planning on going somewhere with Theo?"

"Theo," Zabini tsked with a smirk. "I've never once called him that and I've known him for about five year now. How cute is that."

Yep. This is definitely a trap. I think I'm going to die now.

Theodore, with a roll of his eyes, made his way to my side and pried at the books pressed to my waist. Confused, and a little daze at the warmth of his fingers grazing my hip, I let go of the three books and watched him with wide eyes.

He seemed (and looked) unaffected by how everyone eyes were now on him. Walking around and picking another set of the exact books I'd picked out. Theodore paid for them without a word, asking for separate bags and handed a set over to me.

And then, quietly he says. "Zabini's an idiot." He smiled a winsome one and I am so sure I'm dying and this —whatever this was— is just a figment of my imagination that my brain curated during my dying breath. "I like it. Don't ever stop calling me Theo."

•••

Blaise Zabini is trying to be matchmaker. I'm sure of it. Or else he wouldn't be bothering me as much as he did now. I can't seem to peacefully spend time in the library without being interrupted by him.

"Hello," he greeted, smiling as he sat opposing me. I raised an eyebrow and he was able to read me quick enough, telling me the reason he was here. "Just wanted to let you know that Nott finished those three novels he bought and he's looking for someone to talk it over with a cup of tea —or coffee, whichever one you prefer."

Is he implying what I think he's implying? "Why is that any of my concerns."

"I thought you might be interested." He shrugged. "Since you know, you fancy Nott and all."

"I don't fancy Nott." I told him. An obvious lie, and Zabini knew that too. "And he doesn't fancy me so it's just a waste of time."

"Nott doesn't fancy you?" He's laughing. He's actually laughing. What was so funny about the truth? "What makes you think that?"

"He literally turns me down I when I asked him out," I said blankly. "It's pretty clear, isn't it?"

"And what exactly did he say?" Zabini asked playfully, as if he was humoring me.

"Nothing," I answered. "He just looked at me and said nothing, I don't think I need anything else to tell me that it's an obvious no."

"Nothing?" Zabini repeated with a grin. "Have you heard of being speechless? Or better yet, you know Nott doesn't really speak right?"

"That doesn't excuse him saying nothing when I asked him to go on a date," I countered.

"It doesn't," Zabini concurred. "But Nott's an idiot." Funny, Theodore said the exact same thing about Blaise. "Did you know Nott did Malfoy's work for a week without complain just because he let you go that one time you snuck out?"

No. I don't say. Malfoy did say Nott owe him one but I hadn't thought it important. "What does that have anything to do with what you were talking about?"

"Because," he says exaggeratedly. "Nott fancies you back. I suspected that he liked you since third year though he won't admit it. He won't even admit that he fancies you now but he's incredibly easy to read."

I shut my book and looked at him. Really looked at him. Trying to gauge whether he was messing with me or telling the truth. "What am I supposed to do with this information?"

"Ask him out again," he suggested lightly. "Give him another chance for being the biggest twat there is."

"And have him reject me again?"

"He won't," Zabini says calmly. "He'd burn the entire school down before even thinking of rejecting you."

I hesitate. "I don't want to embarrass myself again."

"You won't," he says with a roll his eyes. "Look I know being rejected is hard, I think I get it. I've never been rejected before. But I also know that the both of you like each other just as much and it's getting tiring seeing you beat around the bush."

"Nott won't make the first move. He thinks you hate him now for not answering when you ask so you'd have to ask again —if you still want to be with him that is. Do you? Or else I've been doing all this for nothing."

Yes. I think. I'm pretty sure that I want to be with him. "Do you know where he is?"

"Oh," Zabini said delightedly. "He's actually coming here right now. I told him I was coming to find you but never gave him a reason why. He'd be here any —speaking of the devil. Hello, Theo."

Theodore doesn't bother to return his greeting. Eyes heavily set on Zabini in a glare that had me shivering just from the side lines. Then his eyes turn to me and his glare on hardens.

"Hi, Theo." I don't think I've ever since Theodore like this before. "What are you doing here?"

"What did he do?" He asked instead.

"Nothing," I said quickly. "He did nothing. We just talked."

"About?"

"Stuff."

"Stuff?"

"Yes. Stuff."

"What kind of stuff?"

"Oh you know," I huffed. "The weather. Coffee. You."

"Me?"

"Yes." My lips fold itself into a thin line. "Actually Theo. Could I ask you something?"

His gaze softens when he nods.I am more than willing to indulge you.I am so sure now, more than ever, that love really is sour grapes.

"Uhm— would you like to—"

His eyes widened, large as saucers as he processed in my words.

"—go out sometimes?" I finished. "As a Date?"

One, two, three beats passes and all Theodore did was look at me. No answer. No emotions. No words. Nothing. And I am briefly reminded of everything that happened.

And then, "yes," he says. "Yes, I would."

•••

Theodore really did read those books he bought me. This I knew now as I sat under the sun on one of Hogsmeade many benches with Theo to my left.

This part of Hogsmeade was quiet, it wasn't too far from the shops but far enough for no one to frequent by. A few people passed by trying to move from destination to destination but none noticed the bench wedge into the middle of the place where two fifth years were sat, talking about everything and anything under the moon and stars.

"So you liked it? You liked 'Listen, boy'?"

"I did." He was smiling and I wished more than anything that I'd had a camera to capture every smile he had given me during the pass hours. "Is that so hard to believe?"

"Yes," I laugh and his smile widens. "It just doesn't seem like you. It's a cheesy and corny book and you're always so dark and broody about everything."

"I'm not dark and broody about everything," he denied.

"You are!" I countered. "You were even dark and broody when I'd first asked you out."

"That's 'cause I didn't know what to say," he says truthfully. "You could've said yes, that would've made it easy for the both of us," I told him. "I really couldn't. You don't deserve just a yes. You deserved everything, not something so simple."

"But that yes would've made my week, Theo."

Theo looked like he was about to say something before he changed his mind. "I'm sorry I didn't say yes when you'd first asked me. Could you ever forgive me?"

I want to kiss him until his lips, his skin, his hands, his scent, every tiny bit of him is imprinted in my mind. "Yes." I say. "Yes, I think I could."

Theodore chuckled, his nose crinkling at the motion and something between that laugh and smile of his causes me to lose it.

My hand reached forward first, palm pressing against his cheek, pulling him closer to me and pressed my lips onto his. I kissed him once then as I reached to pull away; I find that both of his hands had found their way to my cheeks, holding me still as he kissed me back.

Theodore pulled back, the tiniest of smile on his lips that had the smallest smudge of my lipstick attached to it. And he tells me, as if he had been thinking of this for days, years, lifetimes. "You are the prettiest girl I've ever seen."

And when I smiled, Theo leans back in. Peppering quick kisses on my lips, my nose, my cheeks, my forehead, anywhere I would let him kiss me; he will cherish it.

Once Theo finally pulls back —and this was for real this time, no more quick kisses. He looks at me and I know deep down that he will be the death of me when he says. "You are going to be the death of me."

— from bee: the thing about theo is that we know nothing about him so you can’t say that this is ooc :>

#theodore nott x you #theodore nott x reader #theodore nott x y/n #theodore nott fluff #theodore nott imagines #theodore nott fanfiction #theodore nott #harry potter #harry potter fanfiction #Spotify #🧳: my writing

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malfoyswand · 1 year

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𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐠𝐢𝐫𝐥𝐬

pairing: draco malfoy x reader

summary: draco malfoy offers to help you study for an upcoming exam in potions class. a turn of events leads to both of you opening up to each other in unexpected ways.

word count: 2.3k

genre: fluff, a little bit of angst

warnings: n/a

author's note: my first fic here, i'm so excited! please let me know if there's anything you think i could have done better and of course, my writing requests are open :)

You sigh softly as you look down at the textbook in your hands, putting it into your bag as an act of defeat. You weren't sure exactly why you felt so embarrassed when, really, there was nothing to be embarrassed about. The logical side of your brain knew that.

Potions was never your strong suit. Sure, other classes were just as hard but you've always managed to work through it. But Potions? No matter how many hours you put into studying, you are barely passing.

Today's class was a monstrosity. Professor Snape called you in front of the entire class about a question you had no clue what the answer was. Truthfully, it was as if the question was in a foreign language, that's how difficult his class was. You tried to think of a good guess, but all that could come out were the words, "I'm sorry, Professor. I don't know."

Professor Snape wasn't impressed. He knew that you were smarter than this, and he found it lazy when students would say "I don't know" to any question. Your lack of knowledge had the consequence of him deducting 5 points from your house. You're convinced the entire house now hates you.

You shake your head slightly, trying to get out of your own thoughts. You know you're overacting, it's just 5 points. If anything, the only real damage done was to your pride. Everyone else made their way to the door, but as you stood and followed them, you felt a hand on your shoulder.

"(Y/N), wait."

Draco Malfoy. You would know that voice anywhere, the whole school would. His reputation certainly precedes him, without any further explanation needed.

What surprised you was that he was even talking directly to you. You didn't hate him, but you didn't necessarily like him either. You both arrived at Hogwarts at the same time, yet barely spoke more than ten words to each other all these years.

You turned around to face him, your eyes scanning his face. His eyes were widened, as if he was trying to focus intently on something.

"Yes?" You hear yourself speak softly.

"I noticed that Professor Snape was a bit hard on you today. He's a good professor, but all of this year he's been very harsh." He chuckled slightly at his own joke.

What exactly was Malfoy trying to say? Did he come up to you just to tell a joke?

The look of confusion must have been apparent on your face. "Anyway, Professor Snape noticed that you were upset after he deducted those points. Like I said, he's harsh, but he wants his students to succeed. He's asked me to help you. How about we study together for the exam next week?"

Ah, that's why he's talking to you. Professor Snape asked him. Why would someone like Malfoy want to talk to someone like you, if he wasn't forced to?

"Oh," you nodded. "Yeah, alright. Thank you. How about we meet after dinner in the library?"

The thought of studying with Draco Malfoy was something you didn't know excited you or filled you with dread. But whether you liked it or not, he was arguably the smartest Slytherin student, especially in Potions. You knew you needed to pass this class.

"No, that won't work." Draco shook his head. "I do my best studying somewhere quiet, and the library is a bit crowded after dinner. It wouldn't be very effective. How about we go now? I know you're in my Herbology class next period and, no offense, I'd rather skip it anyway."

Of course, he demanded to study now. You peek your head out of the small window in the door, seeing how the corridor was completely empty. By now, it's likely Herbology has already started. There was no point in attending class now.

You turned back to look at him, nodding. He led the way out of the classroom and to the library. You were surprised he even went into the library, with the reputation he had.

Let's just say that Malfoy was popular with the ladies. He was known to have had a few girlfriends by now. Every time he and his girlfriend would break up, he would soothe his heartache by starting an intimate relationship with another girl. But as far as you know, those were just rumors. If they were true, he was smart in not getting caught in the act by a professor.

He led you through endless aisles of bookshelves, until the very last one. He set his bag and books on one of the tables, sitting down and opening his Potions textbook.

With a moment to breathe, you had the opportunity to take a proper look at him. You could see now why it seemed like every girl was in love with him. His blond hair was smoothly laid back, his eyes seemed to be able to stare into the depths of your soul without any effort. Not to mention, he had a charm about him.

"(Y/N)." You were taken out of the trance by his voice calling your name. "You like what you see then?" His lips were turned upwards into a slight smirk. Your eyes stared at them for a moment, before looking down in embarrassment.

Of course, he thought you were staring out of adoration. He acts like he's some sort of Greek god or something! Sure, he's attractive, but was that his only redeeming quality? You could feel your cheeks glowing red.

Alright, fine, you were admiring him. In your defense, you were trying to remember the moment. It's not often that a girl at Hogwarts can say they had a private study session with Draco Malfoy.

"Wait, no, I'm sorry." He adjusted his chair to sit closer to yours. He looked at you until your eyes met his, the blush still burning on your cheeks. "I didn't mean to say that."

"Why are you apologizing to me?" Your voice spoke out, your eyebrow raised. He truly didn't offend you. If anything, you were sorry that you were caught staring at him openly.

"Because I'm trying to become better." That was all Malfoy said before he broke eye contact to stare at the pages of his textbook, telling you to turn to the correct page to begin studying. You got the sense that he didn't want to explain any further what he meant.

While the blond haired Slytherin tried to attempt explaining the foundations of Potions to you, all you could think about was what he said. What did he mean by trying to become better? You assume he meant to become a better person.

As far as you knew, he wasn't a bad person. Yes, he was known to pick on the first-years, especially the Gryffindor house. But most Slytherins did the same, especially the ones that come from wealthy families like he does. If anything, his behavior was more than expected. That doesn't mean it was right, but you always thought he just didn't know any other way to behave. You had always assumed his parents taught him he was better than anyone else in the school.

Your thoughts were interrupted by the sound of his voice asking you questions about the material. It was strange, but Malfoy was quite a good teacher. You could understand the material in a way you couldn't if you were only taught by Professor Snape. Malfoy explained Potions with passion, as if he couldn't stop talking about how fascinated he was about it.

This wasn't the Draco Malfoy you thought he was. You expected him to be an arrogant prick who would tease you if you got a question wrong. Instead, looking at him now, you saw just a boy who wanted someone to listen to him, even just about Potions.

"Draco." Before you could process what you were going to say, it was already coming out. "What did you mean by trying to become better? You said that earlier."

Your question must have shocked him, as he stopped reading and looked up at you. He bit down on his bottom lip, he must have been thinking what the appropriate response was. With a sigh, he leaned back on his chair and looked down at his hands that were folded before him.

"Well, you've caught me. Professor Snape didn't ask me to help tutor you, it was my idea. What I meant was I'm trying to be a better person. I know I've been a prick to most of this school, but this summer was a real eye opener. I thought I would start by doing an act of kindness, like tutoring someone." Before he could stop, his chest was rising and falling as he spoke quickly. "It's my family. They are a part of something that I'm not sure is right, and they want me to join soon. I don't think I have a choice, (Y/N). And I want-"

By this point, the words were spilling out of him. Truthfully, he looked a little insane. Here was this boy who, moments ago, was worried about explaining Potions to you. Now, he was opening up about something you did not expect. Malfoy was always the calm, collected one in your year.

How long has he been holding this in? So long that he was willing to say this to a practical stranger?

"Woah, Malfoy." You took a breath and placed your hand on his. You were positive he would make fun of you for that later, but his hands were shaking. "I don't know what's going on, but you don't have to tell me if you don't want to. Do you want to stop studying for now? We can pick up another time."

All he could do was nod, beginning to pack up his bag. You took another good look at him, before taking your hand away and packing your own bag. This was the strangest study session you've ever been involved with.

"I-I'm sorry." He suddenly blurted out before you stood from your chair. His hand was in yours again, stopping you in your tracks. "I'm sorry if I scared you off like that. I didn't mean to say all of that stuff, about my family. That's too much to expect you to listen to."

"No, it's okay." It was a little weird, but you sensed he needed someone to talk to. If you were going to spend all this time together studying, you might as well become friendly. "You can talk to me about it whenever."

Malfoy stared at you for a moment, his eyes going from your lips back to your eyes. Without any warning, his hand left yours and he leaned in towards you. His lips gently touched yours.

What the hell?

Now that you were this close to him, you could feel how soft his lips were. His cologne even smelled extravagant, something you knew you couldn't afford in your wildest dreams. This was going to be something to tell your friends about later. You're sure none of your friends will believe you when you tell them that the Draco Malfoy kissed you.

He pulled away all too soon, looking down nervously. You failed to notice, but one of his hands was cupping your cheek. You could feel the rings on his fingers gently graze your skin. You both were breathless, but you managed to say one thing to him.

"I don't know what just happened. But I want to make one thing clear, I don't want to be another one of your girls."

"One of my girls?" His eyebrow raised, a look of confusion painted on that face of his. Oh Merlin, did you mess it up badly now? It was too late, you had to explain yourself.

"There are rumors that you've.. messed around with girls before. I just want to make myself clear that I refuse to be one of them. I won't let myself be something you can just play with when you're bored. I really appreciate all the help you've given me, but if you think that something else is going to happen, you're wrong!"

You didn't mean to sound so harsh, but you knew then that you were. But it was true. Malfoy was incredibly handsome and the kiss took your breath away, but you wouldn't let yourself be used like that. You stood from your seat, slinging your bag over your shoulder.

"No, no, no! (Y/N), that's not it." Draco Malfoy stood, standing in front of you. "Alright, there's some truth to that. I've made mistakes and probably been with girls I shouldn't have, but this year is different. Like I said, I'm trying to be better. Just listen to me."

You sighed softly and crossed your arms, but stood there and listened. You weren't angry per se, but confused. Did Malfoy ask you to study just to mess with you? Did all that stuff he said before was made up to manipulate you?

"Thank you." He sighed slightly, relaxed that you were now listening. "I know what you're thinking, that I offered to help you to get in your pants or something. That's something I would've done last year, but not now. The truth is.." He stopped, looking down at his feet.

"Yes?"

"I like you, (Y/N). Since the school year started. I don't mean in a perverted way, I mean in a delicate way. I offered to help you to get to know you better. I stopped messing around when I started to like you, I knew it wasn’t worth it.”

A part of you couldn't believe what you were hearing. Were you dreaming of this? Why would Draco Malfoy like you, when you had nothing to offer him? Your feet were planted firmly on the hardwood floor, with your mouth slightly open. After a few moments, you felt your eyes blink as you came back to reality.

Draco Malfoy likes you. You weren't sure if you felt the exact same, but the gut in your stomach was telling you this was right. The world seemed to have stopped when he kissed you, a feeling you have never felt before. This feeling couldn't be wrong.

Without another word, you stepped forward to break the space between you and kissed his lips. You couldn't help but feel a laugh escape as he pulled you closer.

#draco #draco malfoy #draco malfoy x reader #draco malfoy x you #draco malfoy x y/n #draco x you #draco x reader #draco x y/n #draco malfoy fanfiction #draco fanfiction #draco malfoy fanfic #draco fanfic #draco malfoy fic #draco fic #draco malfoy imagine #draco imagine #draco lucius malfoy #draco fluff #draco angst

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jmagnabo92 · 10 months

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Sirius Vs Remus last interaction with Harry in POA

With all this conversation about who's the better parent, the better guide to Harry, I'd like to address the LAST MOMENT in POA with Sirius vs Remus and WHY Harry ends up closer to Sirius and it has NOTHING to do with his 'status' as godfather and everything to do with their behavior directly after Harry discovers their relationship to his father.

Long Post under the cut.

First, Remus' last moment with Harry:

A shadow fell across them and they looked up to see a very bleary-eyed Hagrid, mopping his sweaty face with one of his tablecloth-sized handkerchiefs and beaming down at them. "Know I shouldn' feel happy, after wha' happened las' night," he said. "I mean, Black escapin' again, an, everythin' -- but guess what?" "What?" they said, pretending to look curious. "Beaky! He escaped! He's free! Bin celebratin' all night!" "That's wonderful!" said Hermione, giving Ron a reproving look because he looked as though he was close to laughing. "Yeah. . . can't've tied him up properly," said Hagrid, gazing happily out over the grounds. "I was worried this mornin', mind. . . thought he mighta met Professor Lupin on the grounds, but Lupin says he never ate anythin' las' night. . . . " "What?" said Harry quickly. "Blimey, haven' yeh heard?" said Hagrid, his smile fading a little. He lowered his voice, even though there was nobody in sight. "Er -- Snape told all the Slytherins this mornin'. . . . Thought everyone'd know by now. . . Professor Lupin's a werewolf, see. An' he was loose on the grounds las' night. . . . He's packin' now, o' course. " "He's packing?" said Harry, alarmed. "Why?" "Leavin', isn' he?" said Hagrid, looking surprised that Harry had to ask. "Resigned firs' thing this mornin'. Says he can't risk it happenin again."

Let's stop here - I included this part because it tells us something EXTREMEMLY important - Remus was going to LEAVE without even talking to Harry. He had NO intention of talking to Harry or explaining what happened. He had NO intention of following up on their relationship and build on it - he was just going to leave after ALL that.

Harry scrambled to his feet. "I'm going to see him," he said to Ron and Hermione. "But if he's resigned --" "¨C doesn't sound like there's anything we can do --" "I don't care. I still want to see him. I'll meet you back here."

This tells us that Harry wanted a relationship with Remus, and expected to have one. Only for Remus to disappoint him.

Lupin's office door was open. He had already packed most of his things. The Grindylow's empty tank stood next to his battered old suitcase, which was open and nearly full. Lupin was bending over something on his desk and looked up only when Harry knocked on the door. "I saw you coming," said Lupin, smiling. He pointed to the parchment he had been poring over. It was the Marauder's Map. "I just saw Hagrid," said Harry. "And he said you'd resigned. It's not true, is it?" "I'm afraid it is," said Lupin. He started opening his desk drawers and taking out the contents.

Here we have proof that Remus knows that HARRY would reach out to him - yet, he doesn't reciprocate. He sees Harry's upset about it and he just ... keeps packing. Using the Map to see Harry do just that.

"Why?" said Harry. "The Ministry of Magic don't think you were helping Sirius, do they?" Lupin crossed to the door and closed it behind Harry. "No. Professor Dumbledore managed to convince Fudge that I was trying to save your lives. " He sighed. "That was the final straw for Severus. I think the loss of the Order of Merlin hit him hard. So he -- er -- accidentally let slip that I am a werewolf this morning at breakfast." "You're not leaving just because of that!" said Harry. Lupin smiled wryly. "This time tomorrow, the owls will start arriving from parents. . . . They will not want a werewolf teaching their children, Harry. And after last night, I see their point. I could have bitten any of you. . . . That must never happen again." "You're the best Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher we've ever had!" said Harry. "Don't go!"

Here Lupin simply answers the question matter-of-factly and in fact, seems to expect that Harry would be affronted on his behalf. What's interesting here is that Lupin KNOWS that Harry has formed this bond with him and still makes what happened about him. Even though he ENDANGERED the kids ALL YEAR, here he focuses on the night before which was the most dangerous moment, and while he's doing the responsible thing but resigning and making it about the parents reaction to his condition feels like a ploy to make Harry feel sympathetic towards him. He didnot want him to feel like he screwed him over by not telling him about his parents, Sirius (and hiding something if it Sirius HAD been after him would've gotten him killed), and by slipping up the night before.

Lupin shook his head and didn't speak. He carried on emptying his drawers. Then, while Harry was trying to think of a good argument to make him stay, Lupin said, "From what the headmaster told me this morning, you saved a lot of lives last night, Harry. If I'm proud of anything I've done this year, it's how much you've learned. . . . Tell me about your Patronus." "How d'you know about that?" said Harry, distracted. "What else could have driven the Dementors back?" Harry told Lupin what had happened. When he'd finished, Lupin was smiling again. "Yes, your father was always a stag when he transformed," he said. "You guessed right. . . that's why we called him Prongs."

Okay. Here's Lupin's opportunity to talk to Harry - an orphan and his best friends' kid - about James and he doesn't take it. He just said - oh yeah, that's what he turned into.

Lupin threw his last few books into his case, closed the desk drawers, and turned to look at Harry. "Here -- I brought this from the Shrieking Shack last night," he said, handing Harry back the Invisibility Cloak. "And. . . " He hesitated, then held out the Marauder's Map too. "I am no longer your teacher, so I don't feel guilty about giving you back this as well. It's no use to me, and I daresay you, Ron, and Hermione will find uses for it." Harry took the map and grinned. "You told me Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot, and Prongs would've wanted to lure me out of school. . . you said they'd have thought it was funny." "And so we would have," said Lupin, now reaching down to close his case. "I have no hesitation in saying that James would have been highly disappointed if his son had never found any of the secret passages out of the castle."

Here, this feels very manipulative. Of course, if he didn't give the map/cloak back to Harry, James and Sirius would be pissed - that's his birthright. But It's pretty obvious that just like the other times that Remus uses James against Harry (Like when he discovers the Map - months previously - and he says 'I don't think your {dead} parents would appreciate you gambling their sacrifices for a bag of magic tricks'), that this time, he's using him to stay in Harry's good eyes. Especially given his parting statement.

There was a knock on the door. Harry hastily stuffed the Marauder's Map and the Invisibility Cloak into his pocket. It was Professor Dumbledore. He didn't look surprised to see Harry there. "Your carriage is at the gates, Remus," he said. "Thank You, Headmaster. " Lupin picked up his old suitcase and the empty Grindylow tank. "Well -- good-bye, Harry," he said, smiling. "It has been a real pleasure teaching you. I feel sure we'll meet again sometime. Headmaster, there is no need to see me to the gates, I can manage. . . . " Harry had the impression that Lupin wanted to leave as quickly as possible. "Good-bye, then, Remus," said Dumbledore soberly. Lupin shifted the Grindylow tank slightly so that he and Dumbledore could shake hands. Then, with a final nod to Harry and a swift smile, Lupin left the office.

Now, finally, the end of his last moment in POA - note that he says goodbye, says he was pleased to teach Harry, and THEN SAYS:

"I feel sure we'll meet again, sometime."

What does this tell us? That Lupin - Despite being around for a WHOLE YEAR & creating a relationship with Harry - DOESN'T WANT to continue the relationship. He "feels like" they'll see each other - he doesn't say anything about 'I'll write you' or 'you can write me' - he basically makes it SO FREAKING CLEAR that he's done. He came into Harry's life and plans to disappear. There's no excuse for this (especially given book 4) and THIS is exactly why Remus isn't a "Parent" - he's not a "honorary godfather" and he's TERRIBLE.

Harry can tell in this interaction that he's just a professor, just Lupin, nothing else.

It just makes it obvious that he doesn't really care for Harry, so he wouldn't be a parent and doesn't deserve all of that 'Lupin was a better option', Lupin 'should've been godfather', etc.

***

Now, Sirius' last moment with Harry:

Harry picked up the letter. It was addressed to him. He ripped open the letter, and shouted, "It's from Sirius!" "What?" said Ron and Hermione excitedly. "Read it aloud!" Dear Harry, I hope this finds you before you reach your aunt and uncle. I don't know whether they're used to owl post. Buckbeak and I are in hiding. I won't tell you where, in case this owl falls into the wrong hands. I have some doubt about his reliability, but he is the best I could find, and he did seem eager for the job. I believe the Dementors are still searching for me, but they haven't a hope of finding me here. I am planning to allow some Muggles to glimpse me soon, a long way from Hogwarts, so that the security on the castle will be lifted. There is something I never got around to telling you during our brief meeting. It was I who sent you the Firebolt --

Let's stop here. First, Sirius makes sure to send Harry the letter when he's alone. I bet he's thinking Harry's going to do exactly what he does with regards to Aunt/Uncle because he KNOWS based on Harry's quick acceptance of moving in with him & the runaway situation at the start of the book.

Then, he immediately tells him that he's safe because he knows that Harry was worried about him enough to go through time, so he assures him that he's fine.

Next, he tells him that he's thinking about him and the affect of everything that's happened and how he plans to fix it SPECIFICALLY so that HARRY is safer after he put him at risk. He takes responsibility and does whatever he can to make up for it.

And while Remus acknowledged that he was at fault, he also put it off on 'Snape let it slip and I have no choice'.

THEN knowing that Harry was probably wondering about the Firebolt - he tells him what he did. Proving that he's been watching over and caring for Harry even from a distance.

"Ha!" said Hermione triumphantly. "See! I told you it was from him!" "Yes, but he hadn't jinxed it, had he?" said Ron. "Ouch!" The tiny owl now hooting happily in his hand, had nibbled one of his fingers in what it seemed to think was an affectionate way. Crookshanks took the order to the Owl Office for me. I used your name but told them to take the gold from my own Gringotts vault. Please consider it as thirteen birthdays' worth of presents from your godfather. I would also like to apologize for the fright I think I gave you that night last year when you left your uncle's house. I had only hoped to get a glimpse of you before starting my journey north, but I think the sight of me alarmed you. I am enclosing something else for you, which I think will make your next year at Hogwarts more enjoyable. If ever you need me, send word. Your owl will find me. I'll write again soon. Sirius

Now, for the rest of the letter.

Sirius explains about the Firebolt and how DESPITE being in prison, he immediately wanted to make up for missing 13 years of Harry's like buying the Firebolt (which is noteworthy because Remus ALSO missed 13 years, and does nothing - and he could've done OTHER things besides a gift like pictures or letters or stories...).

Anyway, then, even though Harry probably didn't even remember that night he ran away, Sirius points out that the FIRST thing he thought of on getting out of prison was to CHECK ON HARRY.

He's been tortured for 12 years and has a mission to get the rat and his priority is check on his kid! And if he could do it - so could Remus. Anyway, he TELLS Harry what he did and what he wanted - just a glimpse to make sure he was okay - and then *apologies* - he's one of the few adults that does.

Then, lastly, he tells Harry's he's been paying attention by enclosing the Hogsmeade slip and ASSURES him that he WILL be writing soon and that Harry SHOULD write to him.

This IS SO OPPOSITE TO REMUS!

Sirius - I'm here for you, I'll write, you should too.

Remus - Eh, bye I'll see you around.

Harry looked eagerly inside the envelope. There was another piece of parchment in there. He read it through quickly and felt suddenly as warm and contented as though he'd swallowed a bottle of hot butterbeer in one gulp. I, Sirius Black, Harry Potter's godfather, hereby give him permission to visit Hogsmeade on weekends. "That'll be good enough for Dumbledore!" said Harry happily. He looked back at Sirius's letter. "Hang on, there's a PS. . . . " I thought your friend Ron might like to keep this owl, as it's my fault he no longer has a rat. Ron's eyes widened. The minute owl was still hooting excitedly. "Keep him?" he said uncertainly. He looked closely at the owl for a moment; then, to Harry's and Hermione's great surprise, he held him out for Crookshanks to sniff. "What do you reckon?" Ron asked the cat. "Definitely an owl?" Crookshanks purred. "That's good enough for me," said Ron happily. "He's mine. " Harry read and reread the letter from Sirius all the way back into King's Cross station. It was still clutched tightly in his hand as he, Ron, and Hermione stepped back through the barrier of platform nine and three-quarters. Harry spotted Uncle Vernon at once. He was standing a good distance from Mr. and Mrs. Weasley, eyeing them suspiciously, and when Mrs. Weasley hugged Harry in greeting, his worst suspicions about them seemed confirmed. "I'll call about the World Cup!" Ron yelled after Harry as Harry bid him and Hermione good-bye, then wheeled the trolley bearing his trunk and Hedwig's cage toward Uncle Vernon, who greeted him in his usual fashion. "What's that?" he snarled, staring at the envelope Harry was still clutching in his hand. "If it's another form for me to sign, you've got another --" "It's not," said Harry cheerfully. "It's a letter from my godfather. " "Godfather?" sputtered Uncle Vernon. "You haven't got a godfather!" "Yes, I have," said Harry brightly. "He was my mum and dad's best friend. He's a convicted murderer, but he's broken out of wizard prison and he's on the run. He likes to keep in touch with me, though . . . keep up with my news . . . check if I'm happy . . . " And, grinning broadly at the look of horror on Uncle Vernon's face, Harry set off toward the station exit, Hedwig rattling along in front of him, for what looked like a much better summer than the last.

And Lastly, Sirius proves that he thinks of Harry's friends, too, by providing Ron an owl, as well as knowing that Harry's needs his form.

Also, it's worth noting that Harry was so touched by the letter that he kept reading and rereading it AND given that he'd run away after blowing up Marge & what happened with being locked in the year before, it's entirely possible that the Dursleys planned to lock him up again and Sirius gave him an adult that he could use against the Dursley's (WHICH IS APPARENTLY ALL THEY NEEDED TO BEHAVE) - and that means that despite reneging on the whole 'live with me' deal, he still provided protection that Harry desperately needed.

Which is what a PARENT does.

THUS, Sirius is the Proper Parent, the Best Choice, and did the BEST HE COULD DO for Harry, while Remus dropped the ball.

Also, worth noting the differences in the last POA interactions sets up the next few books nicely with regards to Sirius&Remus with Harry. Harry turns to Sirius when he needs someone, despite knowing Remus for more time. He writes to him, he lets Sirius reassure him and support him, he expects him to be there - and he is. Remus isn't. And he never planned or wanted to be.

That much is obvious from the get.

So, in conclusion, Sirius is a GOOD GODFATHER, and Remus can suck it.

This has been properly tagged, so don't come at me, but feel free to discuss nicely.

#sirius black #anti remus lupin #Harry James Potter #Sirius & Harry #POA #Meta #Remus Lupin Critical #Pro Sirius Black #Good Godfather Sirius Black #long post

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sideprince · 8 months

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This part of Snape's memories that he gives to Harry has been talked to death, but please indulge me while I dig it back up because meta rests for no man. Emphases in the below excerpt are mine:

The corridor dissolved, and the scene took a little longer to reform: Harry seemed to fly through shifting shapes and colours until his surroundings solidified again and he stood on a hilltop, forlorn and cold in the darkness, the wind whistling through the branches of a few leafless trees. The adult Snape was panting, turning on the spot, his wand gripped tightly in his hand, waiting for something or for someone … his fear infected Harry, too, even though he knew that he could not be harmed, and he looked over his shoulder, wondering what it was that Snape was waiting for - Then a blinding, jagged jet of white light flew through the air: Harry thought of lightning, but Snape had dropped to his knees and his wand had flown out of his hand. ‘Don’t kill me!’ ‘That was not my intention.’ Any sound of Dumbledore Apparating had been drowned by the sound of the wind in the branches. He stood before Snape with his robes whipping around him, and his face was illuminated from below in the light cast by his wand. ‘Well, Severus? What message does Lord Voldemort have for me?' 'No - no message - I’m here on my own account!’ Snape was wringing his hands: he looked a little mad, with his straggling, black hair flying around him. ‘I - I come with a warning - no, a request - please -‘ Dumbledore flicked his wand. Though leaves and branches still flew through the night air around them, silence fell on the spot where he and Snape faced each other. ‘What request could a Death Eater make of me?’ ‘The - the prophecy … the prediction … Trelawney …’ ‘Ah, yes,’ said Dumbledore. ‘How much did you relay to Lord Voldemort?’ ‘Everything - everything I heard!’ said Snape. ‘That is why - it is for that reason - he thinks it means Lily Evans!’ ‘The prophecy did not refer to a woman,’ said Dumbledore. ‘It spoke of a boy born at the end of July -‘ ‘You know what I mean! He thinks it means her son, he is going to hunt her down - kill them all -‘ ‘If she means so much to you,’ said Dumbledore, ‘surely Lord Voldemort will spare her? Could you not ask for mercy for the mother, in exchange for the son?' 'I have - I have asked him -‘ ‘You disgust me,’ said Dumbledore, and Harry had never heard so much contempt in his voice. Snape seemed to shrink a little. ‘You do not care, then, about the deaths of her husband and child? They can die, as long as you have what you want?’ Snape said nothing, but merely looked up at Dumbledore. ‘Hide them all, then,’ he croaked. ‘Keep her - them - safe. Please.’ ‘And what will you give me in return, Severus?’ ‘In - in return?’ Snape gaped at Dumbledore, and Harry expected him to protest, but after a long moment he said, ‘Anything.'

Firstly what stands out here is that that Snape is the first one to refer to Harry and James and not just Lily, not Dumbledore. Snape says, "he is going to hunt her down - kill them all" showing that from the outset he was aware of not just Lily's fate, but her husband's and son's as well. His warning to Dumbledore takes them into consideration too, so from the outset we see that Dumbledore's assumptions are likely biased.

It's Dumbledore who assumes Snape is only thinking about Lily and doesn't care about her family. Although Snape is clearly more invested in Lily, focusing on her as Voldemort's target when he first speaks, he doesn't exhibit the selfish tunnel vision Dumbledore accuses him of. In fact, immediately after Snape says "them all" it's Dumbledore who changes the conversation to be specifically about Lily again. It's understandable that Snape is more concerned about Lily - she's the one he grew up with and was friends with, although it's likely Dumbledore doesn't know this, and may never learn the full extent of Snape's relationship to her, not even to the extent that he shares with Harry in his final memories. Snape refers to her as Lily Evans, not Potter, likely because he's so used to Evans being her name, having spent his whole childhood knowing her by it. His relationship with James was one of victim to abuser, so it's understandable that in this moment of panic and anxiety, James Potter isn't the most important thing in Snape's mind.

It's important to how the dynamics between Snape and Dumbledore play out in this scene that Snape is terrified. He's described as "panting, turning on the spot" and his fear is so palpable that even Harry feels it, though he knows he's safe and in a memory where he can't be harmed. Snape is coming into this conversation out of desperation, and trusting a man who didn't seem to care much when Snape's life was threatened by a fellow student in his fifth year at Hogwarts. To Snape, Dumbledore is the man who let Sirius' prank slide even though it could have killed him. Years after this scene on the hilltop, when Sirius escapes from Azkaban, he still asserts with viciousness that Snape deserved to die just for being too nosy about him and his friends. So to Snape, Dumbledore is the man who let that attempt on his life slide, and who invited Sirius and James - both his attackers, as far as he's concerned - to join the original Order of the Phoenix.

To Snape, Dumbledore is someone who doesn't care if he lives or dies, and who trusts and respects people who, as far as Snape is concerned, are violent and ruthless. This is compounded by the time he's spent in Voldemort's ranks, where's he's seen firsthand what people like that - violent and ruthless - are capable of. He likely sees Dumbledore as a leader who is just as volatile as Voldemort. Since we know that Voldemort doesn't believe in light and dark, good or bad, only in power and weakness, we can assume that Snape has taken on some of these ideas. His perspective may also be informed by his experiences with the bullying of the Marauders, who claimed to hate his proclivity for "dark" magic while perverting innocent spells like scourgify to enact violence (if you've ever tried to eat soap as a kid, you can imagine how vile that might be, let alone if it's blocking the airflow in your trachea). So in Snape's eyes, Dumbledore is probably not the light to Voldemort's dark, but a rival wizard fighting for power, and therefore someone he likely assumes will resort to similar brutality.

As far as Snape is concerned, Dumbledore could strike him dead just for being there. And yet he walks into this meeting, the arrangement of which is already a mortal risk, knowing he might not leave it alive. His first words to the man are, "Don't kill me." Even if he were there just to plead for Lily's life and not care about her family, his willingness to sacrifice himself to save her is already an act of bravery and frankly, I think it's a much more complicated moral dilemma whether one can choose who to give their own life for than Dumbledore's harsh condemnation makes it seem. Can we expect a man to risk his life for a friend? That's a question with a complex and multi-faceted variety of answers. Can we expect him to risk his life for an enemy, or an abuser? That's a long and complex answer with even fewer clear conclusions.

Dumbledore, meanwhile, sees himself in Snape. We see through the HP series, especially in this reveal at the end, how intertwined his relationship with Snape became. We learn that Dumbledore spends his life carrying the guilt and pain of his sister's death and his direct or indirect role in it. It's a pretty common reading of his and Snape's relationship that Dumbledore understood the depth and irrevocability of Snape's regret and guilt firsthand. Knowing all this, it's hard to read Dumbledore's judgment of Snape on the hilltop, and his immediately conclusion that Snape is only interested in protecting Lily - despite warning that Voldemort intends to "kill them all" - as being objective. I read it as Dumbledore projecting his own guilt and anxiety onto Snape in that moment. In addition, as @said-snape-softly pointed out to me very aptly, the prophecy was overheard in the Hog's Head, which is run by Dumbledore's brother Aberforth, adding onto Dumbledore's personal baggage coming out in this moment. Dumbledore's own feelings are loaded and he makes assumptions about Snape's goals and motivations out of his own anxieties about himself.

And Snape lets him. He's been under Voldemort's thumb, a murderous sociopath who throws unforgivable curses around like most people sneeze. He's desperate and terrified and isn't going to argue with Dumbledore. Dumbledore says, "Could you not ask for mercy for the mother, in exchange for the son?" and Snape replies that he has. But as we've seen already, Snape has included Harry and James and Dumbledore - as the person with all the power and leverage in this conversation - has changed the subject to focus on Lily. Snape is in no position to argue about semantics in this moment. The same way he brought up Harry and James to Dumbledore only for them to be ignored by him, he may have brought them up to Voldemort only for him to react similarly.

Given what we know about Voldemort as a character, once he has decided to go after Harry and not Neville, there's no changing his mind. Any effort made to sway him would fail and only add the asker to the pile of bodies Voldemort leaves in his wake. James and Lily are both targets, because canonically they have defied Voldemort three times and are members of the Order fighting against his cause. Snape may be able to beg for Lily's life - and we see that Voldemort assumed it was because he "desired her" - but James' is almost impossible to argue on behalf of, even if he wanted to. Snape can't claim any intimate connection even if it's a lie, because James is in the Order and enough of an enemy to Voldemort that he was targeted on the basis of Trelawney's prophecy. The fact that Snape went to Dumbledore means that he is asking for Lily's whole family to be protected, not just her. It's not just extra insurance in case Voldemort decides to kill everyone in his path to Harry, it's an effort to save Lily and the people who matter to her as well. Snape knows that Dumbledore will give them a fighting chance where Voldemort won't.

When Dumbledore accuses Snape of not caring if they live or die, Snape says nothing. He doesn't confirm or deny this accusation, and as we've seen, he's terrified and Dumbledore has already twisted his words and judged him, so it's reasonable to assume Snape is worried that if he says the wrong thing, all will be lost. Dumbledore could have just accepted Snape's warning and told him to leave. He could have accepted the warning and asked why Snape gave it. Instead, he jumped to conclusions and threw them in Snape's face, a frightened man risking his life who learned quickly in this conversation that Dumbledore hates him and is judging him, and who learned while still at school that Dumbledore doesn't value his perspective or even his very life.

And then Dumbledore asks him, "what will you give me in return?" Snape is caught off guard, because as far as he knew, he was already doing Dumbledore a favor. He's offering him free information that will enable him to protect two of his Order members when the Death Eaters already outnumber them twenty to one, as Lupin said in OOtP. Again, Snape is risking his life - if Voldemort finds out he had this conversation with Dumbledore, he's definitely dead. As far as he knows, Dumbledore could kill him, as his opening sentence in this scene shows. And yet, Dumbledore turns this around - like the tactical, manipulative military leader he is - and posits the situation as being one in which he's doing Snape a favor by heeding his warning. As if he were choosing to protect Lily and her family for Snape's sake, not his own, and not theirs. Many years later, Dumbledore will ask Snape how many people he's watched die, and Snape answers, "lately only those I could not save." But in this moment on the hilltop, that's already what Snape is doing.

#meta #long post #back on my bullshit

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sctumsempra · 3 months

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going insane and i need to infodump about severus snape’s patronus being a doe for a second. i personally don’t think it changed, or lily necessarily influenced it- i think it’s always been a doe, casting the charm in dumbledore’s office was meant to show that he and lily were supposed to be viscerally aligned with each other and he knows he fucked it up and that’s why he’s spent almost two decades trying to atone for what he did. on a representative level, the doe symbolizes peace, protection, and innocence, and no three words could possibly represent severus snape more.

all he wants is peace: a peaceful life for himself, a peaceful world, a peaceful school. everything he’s ever done has been to create as much peace as possible. some of it can be considered misguided from a black and white moral standpoint, but it’s what created peace for himself. for example, aligning himself with the purist views of his housemates made him less of a target for bullying- he’s not a pure blood, and they’d know, and having powerful ambitious students on your side instead of alienating yourself from everyone means you have at least a semblance of protection from harm some of the time. he becomes a double agent for dumbledore to help bring about peace from voldemort’s reign. it might not have been peaceful for him per se, but it was still with the intention of peace in some form. he tries to give other people peace- he takes a vow with narcissa to protect her son because she’s crying and scared for him, and it gives her peace. he doesn’t throw draco under the bus to save his skin when voldemort accuses him of being the elder wands owner, giving draco and narcissa peace even if they weren’t aware. it’s either for himself, or for others.

he’s the most protective teacher at the school- would mcgonagall have thrown herself in front of three kids facing a wolfsbane-less werewolf? would flitwick take the burden of an unbreakable vow to protect draco malfoy from voldemort? would any of the DADA teachers have run towards the sound of a screaming woman? he consistently vows to protect everyone and everything he can. and, leading into his innocence, when he realizes he’s only been protecting harry for him to die, it breaks him.

he’s not necessarily innocent in that his hands are clean and he’s never done anything wrong in his life, but he’s innocent in that he’s naive. he trusted voldemort enough to be drawn into the death eaters, he trusted dumbledore enough to be manipulated into his bidding. it feels like he forgets that dumbledore screws him over constantly, dangles things in front of him and takes them away, makes crude assumptions, and has left him to fend for himself essentially their entire relationship. the times that dumbledore abandons him- physically, mentally, metaphorically- he gets very upset. like it’s new information to him that dumbledore treats him like shit. from an abuse perspective, he probably had to spend his childhood mentally erasing what his parents and home were like so he could feel safe and normal, so the constant ebb and flow/back and forth of his and dumbledore’s relationship is familiar to him. when dumbledore draws him back in with whatever method, he’s right back to behaving as dumbledore wants, doing what dumbledore wants, and believing what dumbledore believes. the times that he remembers that dumbledore doesn’t care that he let the guy who’s tried to kill him or assault go, or that dumbledore thinks he wants only lily saved because he desires her romantically or sexually, or that dumbledore has only been using harry and, by extension, him (as he’s been the one protecting harry) to play the long game of destroying voldemort are the times that he’s emotional in the books. he cries, he’s vulnerable, he raises his voice, he begs and he pleads and he defers. he doesn’t do that any other time, other than when he found harry watching his memories. he trusts and he forgives (or he forgets, or he feels safer pretending he doesn’t care what’s been done to him/how he’s been treated.) a doe is perfect for him. reducing it to something like tonk’s patronus being changed as soon as she’s in a relationship with lupin or that it’s only a doe because of lily evans completely erases his entire way of thinking and behaving and being.

also, in a self indulgent addendum, it’s a very feminine animal, and severus is consistently aligned with femininity. hermione calls the half-blood prince’s writing feminine. he wears his mother’s clothes as a child, and lupin encourages neville to dress his boggart as his grandmother. he’s quiet and docile and tries to be non-violent unless he’s pushed to his breaking point, and even then it’s screaming or crying or getting animated. he’s emotional and frequently painted as hysterical. he gets the “woman character treatment”: to the average viewer who doesn’t think about him long enough to understand otherwise, he only desires lily. the consensus is that he chases her, he only thinks about her in the context of attraction. the line about looking at her greedily is constantly understood to be lust, and not a desire for love or a desire for a peaceful relationship for once in his life (and a relationship that only ever seems to be platonic at that). he even backs off and all but disappears from her life when he’s asked to, while james (the one with the stag patronus, the classic triumphant male character) harasses her and pursues her and behaves in a way that makes his son decades later wonder if he forced lily into a relationship. he’s behaviorally aligned with what femininity in the eyes of misogyny is supposed to be. he keeps to himself, he’s quiet, he sacrifices every bit of himself for students and coworkers and superiors and expects nothing in return, he pushes his students to be the best they can. (i’d say nurtures with my whole chest, but as the narrative comes from harry, we can’t really be sure. in my view, his house won the house cup for several years in a row which was only interrupted by dumbledore awarding a fuck ton of points to his gryffindor prize pony, his classes are seen as high performing and advanced by even dolores umbridge of all people, he only tries to punish students albeit a bit violently after several attempts of getting them to understand why what they did was wrong, which seems to be pretty nurturing in comparison to what other teachers allow and do). whether he’s trans, or had been influenced more by eileen, or he was intended to be deeply complex and contradictory and that meant that he had to have these traits, or any other of the multitude of reasons for snape being an inherently feminine character, it’s there. his patronus wouldn’t be a stag, he wouldn’t be anything overbearing and he wouldn’t be anything aggressive. it doesn’t make sense with his soul and his personality and his life. the peaceful protective innocent/naive doe, however, does.

#severus snape #snape #pro snape #patronus #snape meta #severus snape meta #i’m going insane #i wrote this at work. i couldn’t sit with all of this in my head anymore #he’s the character ever #he deserves the coziest quietest little life ever. i hope he gets it in his next one #he’s so tragic and misunderstood and villainized. i might be crying a little #i could literally talk about him and all of this for hours i just figured i should stop where i was #she’s giving novel

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marypaol · 5 months

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Life From a Book

Draco x Fem!Reader

Warnings: Feelings of Jealousy, but that’s all :)

Summary: Reader has been thinking about Draco for a long time, and doesn’t even know if he knows her name, but soon they run into each other and something changes.

She’s been thinking about that boy since Merlin knows when. He’s always found a way to linger in her brain, constantly sneaking his way into her thoughts. It wasn’t at any given time, it occurred whenever he desired, despite what she was doing.

Whether she was listening to Professor Snape take away points from Gryffindor for what seemed the millionth time that day, or staying up late in the Common Room working on a Charms Essay, he was always there. Not that they’ve encountered before, for she felt like at times that he doesn’t even know her name; let alone her existence. She couldn’t know the cause of her thoughts about him, but what she did know is that something about him intrigued her, Interested her, pulled her. She was curious, to put it simply. He put so much effort into his image, taking on the idea of being the well-known snob that did nothing but complain and snarl at anyone who crossed his path. That, right there, was exactly why she was confused about the fact that he was lingering in her brain. He was a bully, everyone knew that, why would she constantly think about him?

She often thought that it was because there was something missing; a piece missing from the puzzle that she struggled to find. Not only that, but she didn’t know what part of the picture it was. Let alone what the picture was.

It wasn’t until 4th year that they had a proper encounter, which was a total accident. She just so happened to be in the same corridor as him at the time.

Her body rammed into another unexpectedly, the other person not making a noise but she couldn’t help but let out a surprised gasp.

“Hey! Watch where you’re goi-“

His words stopped abruptly, looking down at her. She met his eyes, meeting grey and silver orbs. Her cheeks flushed at the meeting they were having, mumbling out apologies as she attempted to get past him. “It’s okay,” he grunted out, surprising her once more. “Just don’t do it again.” With that he left with a swish of his robes that looked intentional. His shadow lured on the walls as he walked, giving him his normal intimidating look. Her heart didn’t seem to stop beating rapidly as she turned around and walked the other way, feeling the refreshing air on her hot cheeks.

The food in front of her didn’t seem so appealing at the moment, but rather the thoughts of a certain blonde in her head did. Eating was the last thing on her mind, as she pushed the food around her plate with her fork. Glancing along the Slytherin table, she noticed him doing the same thing as her; the thought of food being on the corner of his brain. His arm though, was draped across Pansy Parkinson’s shoulders, her unappealing (in her opinion, really) face snuggling in his shoulder. Something flipped in her stomach, creating an uneasy feeling. Another uneasiness she felt was the fact that the feeling didn’t go away for the rest of the meal.

She found herself distancing herself from him. Which sounds ridiculous because she’s never been near him (other than the time they bumped into each other.) And of course, it’s not like they had some sort of relationship prior to what she saw him doing with Pansy, but whatever connection she felt between them since their encounter was gone. She wouldn’t look at him as often as she did, and whenever he slipped into her mind she pushed him away. In the more obvious world he didn’t notice a single thing that changed, mostly because what they had was nothing. She doubted he even knew her name. He had almost never spoken to her and they’ve never hung out before so how could he know if she isn’t thinking about him as often as she once did? It didn’t affect him in any way. It may have felt no different for him, but it felt completely different for her.

Deciding to distract her from the deep emotions she was feeling, she took herself to the Slytherin Common Room, the emerald on the walls and furniture calming to the eyes. She’s always liked the aesthetic of the Common Rooms; they displayed the true meaning the colors for the houses and the background on how they came about.

She sat on the preferred couch and opened her book, diving into the world that she so dear loved. If only the world was like books, where everything went according to plan just how the author wanted. Unfortunately for her not everything she wanted to happened happens.

Her thoughts on book pages and fictional life got interrupted when the portrait opened, someone entering the room. She looked up, making automatic eye contact with Malfoy, watching him walk over the couch she was sitting on. He stared at her and she stared back, heart pounding and thoughts clouded with possibilities on why he was there. “You weren’t looking.” He said suddenly. His voice was hard and his face had a poker face displayed on it. Every other person would be confused and she wasn’t any different. She stammered.

“E-excuse me?”

His facial expression didn’t change. “You weren’t looking.” He repeated, face still set in stone. He said it a little different than the first time but it held the same emotion.

Her voice on the other hand was full of confusion. “Looking at what?” She asked, closing her book and setting it on her lap.

He looked her up and down, like sitting down after a long day and reading was against the rules of Hogwarts. Once his eyes met hers again, he spoke. “Me.” He said shortly but the way he was telling her showed that he wasn’t nervous to tell her. In fact he seemed angry with her actions; like she should’ve known.

Despite her cheeks flushing a little, she replied. “And why does it matter to you if I look at you or not?” She tested.

He didn’t answer her, looking like he refused to. It’s almost like the reason was something he wanted to keep to himself, something he didn’t want to admit. He wasn’t growing nervous about saying it, heck no, he was the Prince of Slytherin after all. He was the most confident of them all.

“It doesn’t matter. Why would it matter if some girl looked at me?” He snarled, looking down at her like she was just a piece of meat. She shook her head, dismissing what she didn’t take as an insult. “Whatever you say, Malfoy.”

She said back, sitting back down on the couch, going to open her book. Draco spoke before she could do so. “Dance with me.” He said, still looking down at her. Her eyebrow rose, hands starting to sweat a little and her heart beat a little faster than normal. “What?” She laughed out. “You just told me-“

“Dance. With. Me.” He said clearly, walking around the couch and holding his hand out. She went with it, deciding that if Malfoy was going mad she would take the opportunity to experience him doing so. Her hand slid into his, the feeling of skin to skin making her heart stagger. He stood her up, hesitantly placing his hand on her waist. She placed her other hand that wasn’t holding his on his shoulder, getting ready to waltz. Draco had other plans, for he pulled her closer so her cheek was resting on his chest. He was warm, she quickly noticed, the body heat radiating off of him and she seeked as much as she could find,

rubbing her cheek slowly on his chest to somehow spread the warmth to the rest of her body. Nothing was on her mind at the moment; not Pansy and how she would think of this, not her book that she so wanted to be in, but only Draco found himself one more clouding her mind. If only she could stay in this moment forever, surrounded by warmth and physical touch, senses and thoughts full of Draco.

#draco malfoy #draco x reader #draco malfoy x reader #tom felton #tom felton x reader #draco lucius malfoy #imagines #harry potter imagine #draco malfoy imagine #x reader #hogwarts school of witchcraft and wizardry #slytherin pride #slytherin #stories

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girl-next-door-writes · 1 year

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There You Are: Papercuts

Characters: George Weasley x reader

Summary: After the genius plan to find his soulmate falls through perhaps George just needs to be patient and let the universe reveal the truth when it’s ready.

Word Count: 1585 words

A/N: I just wanted to say thank you to everyone who has reblogged and shared this little mini-series. I’ve really enjoyed writing it.

Despite the warm weather, George resolutely kept his shirt sleeves down, desperate to hide the fading message scratched onto his arm from everyone around him. Whoever you were, he had hurt you so much that you’d felt the need to injure yourself just to ask him to stop. Did that mean you didn’t know who he was? Surely if you knew he was your soulmate then you would have just asked him face to face, or even sent a note. That was, unless, you were disappointed that he was your soulmate. That thought stung and dug deep under his skin, soaking into his heart and leaving him feeling self-conscious.

“Come on George, one last try.” Fred pleaded as they made their way to charms.

“Don’t you bloody well dare! I’m not a pincushion or a punching bag, and my soulmate definitely isn’t.”

“Maybe they’ve got a high pain threshold, so every time we’ve punched him, they don’t even flinch.” Lee offered, not sure how their genius plan had failed.

“Yeah, that would be the only explanation.” Fred nodded, his brow furrowing a little as he thought. “We just need a new plan.”

“NO! No more plans. My soulmate will show up when they want to. Just leave it.” George stormed off towards the classroom leaving his brother and friend looking after him in confusion.

“Someone needs a wank.” Lee muttered causing Fred to scoff as they followed George into Charms.

You quickly walked into Charms class, your robe flowing behind you as you hugged your books to your chest. Finding your seat towards the front, you slipped onto your stool and tugged at the ends of your sleeves, ensuring you exposed as little skin as you could. The small crescent scar on the inside of your arm popped into your mind and you barely stopped yourself from tracing your finger over it. There was something comforting about knowing it was there, even if you knew that would be the only connection you shared with George Weasley.

Katie plonked her things down next to you and sat down with a grin. “I love this class.”

“That’s because you think it’s full of eye candy.” You chuckled as you made room for your friend.

“And you don’t? We’ve got Wood over there up front, Weasley squared just behind us and to the left, and Jordan right behind them. Come on, you’ve got to admit, that’s a lot of hotties in one room.” Katie glanced over at the twins, quickly looking away when she saw Fred glance in her direction.

“You once said that Snape looked dishy, so I’m not sure I trust your taste.” You hummed, trying to ignore the goosebumps that were erupting over your arms knowing you were sitting this close to George.

“Hey, he’d made an effort that day. I swear he’d curled his hair, maybe got a blow dry.”

“Katie, there’s no excuse.” You gave your friend a lopsided smile before Professor Flitwick called the class to order.

George was definitely not concentrating on the lesson, his thoughts drifting to his soulmate. He couldn’t help but keep picturing them sitting on a bathroom floor, carving the words into their arm, tears probably streaming down their cheeks as they silently begged for the pain to stop. It caused his heart to twist and he just wanted to wrap them up in his arms, whisper soothing words and soft apologies. It was never his intention to hurt you, and now you probably would never want to speak to him, even if you did know who he was.

He was so caught up in his own mind that he almost missed the final piece of the puzzle falling into place.

“Please take a piece of parchment and pass the rest on. I need everyone to have a fresh sheet.” Professor Flitwick announced, handing a pile of parchment to Oliver Wood, who was sat at the front.

Slowly, the pile made it’s way around the class and you took your sheet then you turned to hand the rest to Angelina, who was sat behind you. As she took them from you, a parchment edge sliced through the soft skin of your right index finger, causing you to wince and bring the digit to your mouth.

“You okay?” Katie asked.

“Papercut.” You shrugged, turning back to the front as you fumbled in your pocket for a tissue to wrap around your finger.

George saw you wince out of the corner of his eye as he flinched at the pain suddenly coming from his finger. He looked at the thin cut, his eyes widening. His head whipped up, and he observed you wrapping up your finger, and suddenly every fiber of his being cried out to rush to you, to check you were okay.

It was as if everything had clicked into place. Of course it was you! Who else would his soulmate be? It was so obvious and he didn’t know how he hadn’t seen it before.

The rest of the class was now spent staring at you, taking in each and every detail he could. The way your lips curved, the way your hair fell, the way you tugged at your sleeves to prevent them raising up over your arms. Every thing you did was enchanting, and George was not even aware the lesson had finished until Fred punched his arm.

“What?”

“Where’s your head, George? Seriously.” Fred sighed, shoving his stuff in his bag.

“I just…” George’s gaze fell back onto you, and he realised you had already packed up and were leaving. In a sudden rush, he shoved all his things into his bag and hurried after you, calling your name as he entered the corridor, eyes scanning the crowd for you.

Hearing someone calling your name, you stopped and turned around with a small frown. As soon as your eyes met George’s, you knew that he knew what you knew. It was as if your feet were frozen to the stone beneath, a cold paralysis creeping up your legs keeping you trapped as he came closer.

George ran a hand through his hair and gave you an awkward, hopeful smile. “Hey.”

“Hey.” The two of you just stood looking at each other as the corridor of bustling students carried on, as if the world hadn’t suddenly come to a standstill.

“I’m sorry.” George said softly, his fingers itching to reach for you but unsure how you would react.

“Sorry?”

“Fred had this stupid idea of injuring me until we found my soulmate and I didn’t mean for you to get hurt but I so desperately wanted to find you and I didn’t think. So… sorry, for the bruises and stuff, and sorry your soulmate’s a bit of a prat.” He flashed you a tight smile as he realised just how badly he probably screwed this up.

“You’ve been really careful since…”

“Yeah.” He nodded.

“That rash kind of sucked.”

“Well, that wasn’t really my fault.”

“I get the feeling you’d say that about most of these.” You smirked, rolling up your sleeve and revealing the remnants of previous shared injuries.

George reached out and took your hand in one of his, the other tracing his finger over the small crescent scar from the firework burn. His touch sent a pleasant shiver through your body and his shy smile turned into a grin when he noticed.

“I promise I will be more careful, and if I do get hurt then I will come find you and kiss it better.”

“Really? I’m going to hold you to that.” Your smile matched his and George interlaced his fingers with your own, tugging you closer.

“So, how long have you known?” He asked softly, not caring that you both had other places to be.

“A while.” You tilted your head slightly, giving him a sad smile. “I was going to tell you, but then you were snogging someone else so I thought-“

“Oh shit! I was so drunk, I thought I’d found my soulmate, thought I’d found you. I saw a scar and went for it. Like I said, your soulmate’s a bit of a prat.” He winced, realising he’d probably caused you more than physical pain.

“I wouldn’t say he’s a prat. Sometimes he might act a little like one, but I happen to think he’s bloody brilliant, if a little clumsy.”

“Bloody brilliant? Well, I think I’m the lucky one because my soulmate is gorgeous and caring and so much more than anything I have ever hoped for, and I can’t wait to kiss them.”

“So, what are you waiting for?” Both of you slowly leaned into each other, feeling warm breath against your skin, your lips almost meeting.

“You are late for class. Stop loitering in the hallways and get to where you are supposed to be.” Professor Snapes voice cut through the moment, causing both of you to jump.

“I will meet you on the quad after class.” George flashed you a dashing smile before placing a gentle kiss to the back of your hand and then walking backwards away from you.

“Mr Weasley, watch where you are going, you do not want to cause your soulmate any further discomfort.” Snape chastised.

“Never, professor.” He winked at you then turned and hurried to class.

“You too.” Snape fixed you with a no nonsense look and you headed off to transfigurations, knowing full well that you wouldn’t take in a single thing Professor McGonagall said.

#George Weasley #George Weasley x reader #gndw mini series

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jessybarnes · 10 months

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I See You

Pairing - Professor Snape x Student!Reader

Tags - Angst, crying, confessions of love, sneaking out, slight panic attack, and I think that’s it.

Word Count - 684

Beta - None. All mistakes are my own.

A/N - The reader is 18 in this! This is a repost from my old Tumblr blog. I am in the process of transferring all of my fics over to this one. I hope you enjoy :)

Nights at Hogwarts were often calm. While the rest of the students slept peacefully in your dorm, you sat on the windowsill with your thoughts. It was nearly spring, and even closer to the day when you’d have to say goodbye to the place you practically grew up in.

You’d miss so many people and things about this castle, but there was one person you’d miss more than anything else. Falling in love with Professor Snape hadn’t been your intention, but it’s what your heart decided.

Most nights, you would look out across the grounds and let your mind race until you were tired enough to sleep. Other nights, much like this one, you knew it wouldn’t be enough. Quickly and quietly, you slid your shoes on and stepped out into the chilly dungeon corridor.

Navigating these halls was something you’d grown accustomed to over the years, and you managed to get to your destination without using Lumos once. Once you were sure you weren’t followed, you slipped inside and breathed a sigh of relief.

Unaware that Professor Snape watched you disappear behind the door, your eyes zeroed in on the one thing that brought you peace. The Mirror of Erised sat near the back of the room, and you felt as if you were drawn to it.

Slowly, you walked up and ran your fingers along the grooves of its frame. The detail in its design was beautiful, but that wasn’t why you came here. The floor beneath you was cold, but you sat anyway. Your knees were folded up to your chest and your eyes glistened with fresh tears as you took in the sight before you.

It was you in an embrace. A hand came up to cradle your face as obsidian eyes gazed lovingly into your soul. You were so enraptured by how real it all looked that you didn’t hear the door open behind you.

“I could have you expelled for being out of bed, you know.”

You felt the color drain from your face. Out of all the people to find you in here, why did it have to be him?

“P-Professor Snape! I … I can expl-”

Instead of taking points away from Y/H, he asked a question you weren’t expecting.

“What do you see?”

You wiped a few stray tears and shook your head.

“You wouldn’t understand…”

Snape crossed his arms, his expression becoming impossibly more impatient.

“The fact that you think I wouldn’t understand only intrigues me more, Y/L/N. Either tell me what you see when you look in that mirror, or I’ll take you to Dumbledore myself.”

Panic pricked at your skin. There was no way you could tell him, and he’d know if you lied, so you did the only thing you could at that moment. You ran. He called after you, but all you could think of was finding somewhere to hide. A closet caught your eye and you hurried inside, barricading yourself against the back of the door.

Sobs shook your body and even though you knew the noise would lead him straight to you, nothing could stop them. His deep voice was muffled by the thick wood of the door, but you still heard him clear as day.

“Did you really think you could hide from me in my own potions closet?”

He muttered the unlocking spell and tried to get in, but you pushed back keeping him from entering.

“Professor, please, just … let me go back to my room! Don’t break my heart anymore than it already is!”

“Y/N! Open the door!”

Snape never called you or any other student by their first name, and that was enough to get you to ease up on the door just enough. He opened it slowly and stepped into your space, his hand tilting your face up to meet his just like in the reflection you saw.

“Tell me, what do you see?”

Your lip quivered as you finally told him your secret. The welfare of your heart now laying completely in his hands.

“I see you.”

#j snow writes #severus snape x reader #severus x reader #snape x reader #professor severus snape x reader #professor snape x reader #severus snape x you #severus x you #snape x you #professor severus snape x you #professor snape x you #severus snape x y/n #severus x y/n #snape x y/n #professor severus snape x y/n #professor snape x y/n

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sebbianas · 11 months

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i have finally sat down and did the math so here’s all the speak now songs and what marauders ship i think of for each and what lyric stands out to me

Mine - wolfstar - braced myself for the goodbye ‘cause that's all I've ever known then you took me by surprise you said, "I'll never leave you alone"

Sparks fly - jegulus - it's just wrong enough to make it feel right

Back to december - jegulus - you gave me all your love and all I gave you was goodbye

Speak now - nobleflower - you wish it was me, you wish it was me dont you

Dear john - lily about snape - you are an expert at “sorry” and keeping lines blurry

Mean - mary’s theme song - someday i’ll be big enough so you cant hit me (her outliving all the people who tormented her)

The story of us - black brothers - this is looking like a contest of who can act like they care less but I liked it better when you were on my side

Never grow up - black brothers/black sisters - I won't let nobody hurt you won't let no one break your heart and even though you want to please, try to never grow up

Enchanted - pandalily - my thoughts will echo your name until i see you again

Better than revenge - rosekiller (in their toxic era) - you might have him but i always get the last word

Innocent - regulus’ theme song - today is never too late to be brand new

Haunted - jegulus - stood there and watched you walk away from everything we had but I still mean every word I said to you

Last Kiss - jegulus - And I feel you forget me like I used to feel you breathe

Long Live - marauders to each other - I had the time of my life with you

Ours - marylily - seems like there's always someone who disapprove they'll judge it like they know about me and you and the verdict comes from those with nothing else to do the jury's out, but my choice is you

Superman - (not marauders but) drarry - And you'll leave, got places to be, and I'll be okay I always forget to tell you, "I love you" I loved you from the very first day

Electric touch - dorlene - all I know is this could either break my heart or bring it back to life got a feelin' your electric touch could fill this ghost town up with life and I want you now, wanna need you forever

When emma falls in love - james’ theme song - when Emma falls apart, it's when she's alone she takes on the pain and bears it on her own cause when Emma falls in love, she's in it for keeps she won't walk away unless she knows she absolutely has to leave

I can see you - jegulus - and I could see you being my addiction you can see me as a secret mission

Castles crumbling - sirius after the prank - power went to my head and I couldn't stop ones I loved tried to help, so I ran them off and here I sit alone behind walls of regret falling down like promises that I never kept

Foolish one - rosekiller - you will say you had the best of intentions and maybe I will finally learn my lesson

Timeless - jily - I'm gonna love you when our hair is turnin' gray we'll have a cardboard box of photos of the life we've made and you'll say, "Oh my, we really were timeless"

#marauders #jegulus #wolfstar #marylily #pandalily #dorlene #jily

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athenadione · 6 months

Text

deals and desire (we’re playing with fire)

Spreading my Christmas Cheer! I think this might be my favorite one yet. I really hope you guys enjoy this one. You have no idea how much it means to me to be part of a close-knit fandom. I have extra comments in the author's note and you can read it on a03 HERE

Rated: T (Harry Potter AU)

Words: 9,741

The halls at Hogwarts are rambunctious during class changes, and Raven does her best to avoid most students while walking to her next lecture. For the most part, she succeeds, with the occasional Ravenclaw or Hufflepuff calling out to greet her.

There’s chatter all around her with the excitement of the upcoming Yule Ball. Hufflepuffs bound around her with laughter, ignoring the groans of Griffyndors who are no doubt imagining the horrors of dressing up. One group of students in the hall is taking bets while another teases a younger Slytherin about asking a fellow girl to go with him.

Raven keeps walking, her robes flowing behind her as ebony locks blow in the wind when she reaches the covered bridge. It’s snowing.

It’s the first snowfall of the year.

There’s a ghost of a smile on her lips before they part, and she watches her breath materialize before her. Ivory fingers slip from beneath her robes, and she cups her hand, catching a few flakes. She doesn’t think she’ll ever get used to the snow.

It had always been such a sharp contrast to home—fire and brimstone and blood-stained cloaks.

The air around her is silent and she watches them continue to fall, already beginning to cover the ground below.

It captures the attention of others who walk outside with her. Tensing as the crowd grows, she withdraws her hand back inside her cloak, intent on walking across to the other side. Her next class starts soon, Advanced Potions with Snape. It wouldn’t be good to be late.

Another sharp gust of wind catches in her hair and she suppresses a shiver, feeling goosebumps rise on her flesh beneath her robes.

“Bloody hell, Raven, did you not hear the announcements yesterday about the weather?”

The yell from across the bridge becomes rapidly closer, and Raven releases a sigh, able to recognize his voice from anywhere. Insufferable prat. Never mind the fact that no—she did not hear about the announcements yesterday about the weather. She’d been nose-deep in a book instead, but he doesn’t need to know that.

“Honestly, Damian, I don’t have time for this. I’m going to be late—”

Raven turns on her heel, only to run straight into his chest. Barely managing to keep hold of the books in her arms, she finds herself unable to move when Damian traps her there. He takes his scarf in his hands and begins to wrap it snugly around her neck. The rough fabric brushes her nose and she gets a whiff of his expensive cologne. Some kind of earthy scent with a hint of spice. Ugh, why does he have to smell so good?

“Don’t argue with me Raven, you could catch a cold walking out here without proper wear. You need to take care of yourself.”

Feeling her cheeks growing red from more than just the cold, her eyes also widen when he takes off his beanie to place it on her head. Words of refusal catch in her throat as Wayne shakes his hair to rid the indentions, and unruly curls pile over his brows into his lashes.

“Really, as a prefect you should be more responsible. Who would take your place if you get sick? Luna? You and I both know that would be a disaster.”

The warmth of his beanie seeps into her scalp and the tips of her ears when he places it on her head. She blushes even further as he takes time to brush a stray hair out of her face.

When emerald eyes peer into hers with expectation, she clears her throat, feigning irritation, “I’m not going to get sick, Damian, and besides I don’t see how this is any of your business.”

Damian raises a brow, undeterred as snowflakes begin to fall into his hair.

“As your colleague, I have an interest in your health. I’m not going to keep up with your prefect duties, and don’t you need all the time you can get to finish your application for the internship at the Ministry?”

“Well yes but—wait how do you know about—”

“No excuses Ravenclaw, and you have…” Damian glances down at his watch, “less than five minutes to get across campus to make it to class.”

“You’re an insufferable arse—”

“Four minutes, better hurry,” he flashes her a grin.

Raven curses, not bothering to look back at him as she rushes in the opposite direction.

Snape doesn’t tolerate tardiness.

Raven still has the beanie after class and she hates how warm it is.

She sheds the scarf shortly after class starts, with it being a hazard to potion making and all, but can’t bring herself to take off his beanie.

That smell, his smell, has forever enraptured her senses.

It distracts her the entire class, to the point that she accidentally picks up dried mallowsweet instead of dittany leaves for her Wiggenweld potion. Thank the gods Jinx catches her before she drops the ingredient into their cauldron. The mouthy Slytherin has more than a few choice words for her almost costly mistake.

Raven, of course, is grateful despite the word-lashing.

She can’t afford to fail any classes now that she’s getting ready to submit her application to the Ministry. Which reminds her that she needs to fill out the reference page next. Surely Professor McGonagall will agree to write one.

She makes a mental note to ask during her office hours later in the week.

Raven climbs the remaining stairs leading to the common room. As prefect she gets her own room, and it’s the greatest. She had made a small reading nook in the corner, right next to the window that overlooks the entire courtyard. And it’ll be the perfect spot to watch the snow.

When she reaches the top, the bronze eagle knocker is already waiting.

“Glittering points that downward thrust. Sparkling spears that never rust. What am I?”

She shoulders her books onto her hip while she thinks. Then she gives the eagle a victorious smirk, “An icicle.”

The eagle answers with a grinding noise while the lock turns. Then the door swivels open, and Raven steps inside.

The waft of an amber and cinnamon candle hits her first, lightly covering the scent of incense and old books. She takes a deep breath, relishing in the way that it immediately soothes her.

“Green and blue, they make a beautiful hue. Like the sea.”

Raven sighs and snags the beanie from her head. No reason to keep it on now that she’s inside.

“Hey Luna,” Raven says, ignoring her previous statement.

“I see more green in your future. Birds of a feather, stick together, through the weather.”

Raven blinks, then snorts, “Cute. Speaking of the weather, have you seen the snow? It started falling right after lunch.”

“Oh yes, very magical,” Luna lets out a dainty sigh, “there’s nothing like a snowfall at Hogwarts. Look—” she points out towards one of the glass windows in the common room, “the spirits have come to play. Such mischievous beings,” she says as her shoulders shake with mirth.

Raven turns in the direction Luna points, finding nothing but a blast of wind. It doesn’t phase her though. Luna’s unique ability allows her to see things that the average witch can’t, herself included.

“And I’m sure they’re having the best time,” Raven throws a small smile at Luna, then nods politely as she walks towards her room. The rest of the way is silent, which she’s grateful for.

She opens the door to her dormitory, places her books on her desk, and plops into the oversized papasan chair with a final sigh of relief. Beside her, the snow continues to fall in earnest outside the window. Its display across the courtyard is nothing short of grandeur.

She kicks off her boots and waves a silent spell to light the nearest candle. Soon after the smell of peppermint fills the room and she breathes in deep, relishing in her safe space. In here there’s no one to pry, no one to question her attendance here because of her heritage. It’s just her, and whoever she wants to be at this moment.

And right now she just wants to fall asleep reading and watching the snow, and it’s exactly what she plans to do. Until she spots Damian’s beanie on top of her books, bringing with it a conglomeration of emotions that Raven tries, and fails, to shut out.

She can admit that there’s something between them. Just out of arm’s reach, and if she’d just be brave enough to stretch for it…

But she can’t, even if she wants to. There are a number of reasons why it’s a bad idea. The first is her reputation. Even if she’d never been a Death Eater, she's still the daughter of one. Associating with Damian Wayne, his name of which is very well-known in the wizarding world for helping defeat you know who would be disastrous. A scandal even. Raven had previously thought she’d come to terms with it all—the knowledge that because of her father, there are so many doors that will never open. That being allowed to attend Hogwarts is a dream she’d never thought possible, and that it might be the only good thing to come from everything that had happened.

Before her first day here she was ready, had sharpened her proverbial sword, and was prepared for the backlash.

She’d never been prepared for the young Slytherin with dark, unruly curls and emerald eyes to introduce himself to her first. Or the smile greeting her that had taken her completely by surprise—confident and steady.

She hadn’t been ready for Damian Wayne at all.

Even now, years later, she’s not ready for the door that he doesn’t realize he’s trying to open. His hand is on the handle, already turning, and Raven really, really, wants him to.

For once in her life, she wants to see that door open.

But Trigon had already branded and sealed her fate years ago.

Raven sighs, tearing her eyes away from the beanie while simultaneously banishing the boy who owns it from her thoughts. She’d have to see him again on prefect patrol tonight, but for now, she’s going to watch the snowfall and focus on the doors that she can open. Like the application to the Ministry that Professor McGonagall personally orchestrated for her as headmistress.

Demons like her don’t deserve to dream of something more.

Her eyelids begin to droop as she looks out her window, curled up in her chair under a blanket, and she slowly falls into a dreamless sleep.

Damian’s already waiting for her in the great hall when they meet for patrol. When Raven reaches him she practically shoves his beanie at his chest, “Here, you can have this back now that we’re not outside anymore,” she tells him.

He looks down at her, brows furrowed, before he pushes it back into her hands, “Keep it. I have a million more back in my dorm. Besides, who else is going to make sure you stay warm on the way to class?”

“No one, and especially not you. I’m no one’s responsibility,” she huffs.

Damian flashes her a look of irritation, “You’re not a responsibility, Raven, you’re a friend. Suck it up and take the beanie, or I’ll just keep bringing you more if I see you walking around without one.”

Raven stares at him, then acquiesces, “Fine, I’ll keep this one—but don’t expect me to say thank you for harassing me into this.”

“You’re welcome,” Damian gives her a light smirk, then gestures towards the staircase, “Now shall we get started? I’m pretty sure I heard some giggling earlier, probably those fifth years again.”

“Again?” Raven sighs, pulling out her wand, “Better start with Lumos.”

“Good idea.”

They walk up the stairs in silence for a few minutes, both listening for the sound of footsteps. Sneaking out after hours has always been an appeal for students since the dawn of time. With the ball coming up, however, the mischievous antics have seemed to increase tenfold. The fifth years they caught making out in a dark corner last night is unfortunately just the tip of the iceberg.

When they both enchant their spell, Raven can’t help but notice the way that the light of Damian’s wand bounces off the wall next to them and reflects onto his face. It highlights the angular shape of his cheekbones and gives his starking green eyes an ethereal glow. When he turns to look back at her she feigns nonchalance and waves her wand forward as it casts the hallway in a warm glow.

“Looks like if they were here they’re long gone now,” Raven says as they turn a corner.

Damian hums in agreement. “You know tomorrow is the last Quidditch game before the semester is over. We’re playing Griffyndor, are you going to watch?” he asks.

Raven shrugs non-committedly, “Maybe, although reading in my room under a blanket sounds like more fun.”

“Oh come on,” Damian turns to her fully, stopping her in the middle of the hallway, “You have to come. Whoever wins tomorrow takes the Quidditch Cup. Don’t you want to support your fellow prefect?”

She rolls her eyes, “Since when do you care that I come to your game? I haven’t been to one all year.”

“Well I haven’t asked before because I know you don’t like the cold, but this is the last game, the championship game, and I’ll feel better if you come,” he admits.

Raven turns her head to cover the light dusting of pink heating up her cheeks because OhMyGodsHeKnowsIDon’tLikeTheColdAndHeGaveMeHisBeanieWithoutASecondThought.

“I don’t see how me being there will make you feel better, or even help you win,” she says, shoving down her initial embarrassment.

“Does there have to be a reason why? I want you to be there, you can be my good luck charm. I promise I’ll make it worth your while,” he says smoothly with a smirk growing on his face.

“Oh yeah? How so?” she asks sarcastically and starts to patrol once more.

“How about a wager if you come watch me play?”

That stops in her tracks. Then she turns to him fully, until they’re face to face. The warm glow from their wands cast a more intimate light around them as they look at each other. Raven has to tilt her chin up to look him in his eyes, just to see that they’re filled with something dangerous. It sends a shiver down her spine.

“Okay, I’m listening,” she pretends to pick at a piece of lint on her uniform.

Damian’s smile turns wicked, “If Slytherin loses then I’ll owe you a favor. Any favor you choose. Anytime. And I have to do it, no matter what.”

It sounds like a trap, and if she knows Damian, then she knows that he definitely has something up his sleeve. She might be a demon, but he’s the devil. Cunning and devious and sinfully attractive .

And she’s about to make a deal with him.

“And if you win, then what do you want?”

His eyes darken in satisfaction, and it lights a fire in her lower abdomen. She tightens her hold on her wand as his tongue darts out to lick his lips before speaking.

“If I win, I want a date to the Yule Ball.”

The words no way are immediately on her lips, ready to be spoken, but at the last second, she stops herself. A date to the ball is a small price to pay for the chance for a favor from Damian Wayne, who’s family most definitely has the influence to help her get the internship at the Ministry. So what if there’s a part of her that wants to go with him? Even more importantly, he wants to go to the ball with her, and there’s another part of her that’s thrilled by that.

“Deal,” she says, “I’ll come to the game tomorrow, and if you win then I’ll go to the ball with you. But if I win , then you’re going to help me write my essay for my application.”

“Deal. See you tomorrow then, Raven. Don’t forget to wear my scarf too,” he says playfully.

Raven rolls her eyes. “Oh bugger off you prat. Let’s hurry up and finish, I’m knackered. I had to do room inspections early this morning before class.”

“Right, one more hallway,” Damian replies, leading the way back to where they started.

The new swagger in his step as he walks away doesn't escape her notice one bit.

It’s the first time she’s attended a Quidditch game since…well since her first day at Hogwarts. Back when she was still under the magnifying glass of the public eye and had not so subtly been run out of the stands.

This time it’s different. Most are polite, with the occasional glare or two from families who had been affected the most by Voldemort’s short reign. After a decade though, the retaliations have seemed to settle down. Now she can enjoy the Quidditch game in the stands without any fear for her life.

Last night the snow turned into sleet, so each step under her boots is accompanied by the loud crunch of ice. She shoves her hands into the pockets of her thickest cloak, thankful that she listened to Damian and had decided to wear both the scarf and beanie again. At the very least she’ll fit in with the rest of Slytherin, who’ve already started their gimmicks in the stands against the Gryffindors.

She can see each puff of breath as she continues the arduous walk through the ice, grumbling to herself about how magic exists for a reason and at the very least someone could have shoveled the sidewalk. Then she casts a silent heating charm around her hands, relieved at the immediate warmth filling her pockets.

Finding a spot in the stands is more difficult than she thought, and after a couple of minutes of searching, she has half a mind to turn back around completely. She’ll just tell Damian later that their bet is off when she hears a familiar voice call out over the rest.

“Hey, Ravenclaw, where ya goin’?”

Raven turns to find Jinx a couple of rows high, smiling big and cat-like. She shoves her way through the crowd to reach her, then tugs on her arm, “You can’t just stand there and wait for people to move, you have to make room yourself,” she says, pushing back through to her row. Jinx barks at the few people who don’t move to get out of the way, making quick work of the path back up.

“You’re a lifesaver,” Raven tells her when they get settled.

“Yeah, yeah, you can make it up to me by not fucking up our next potion’s class. Why’re you here anyway? I’ve never seen you at a Quidditch game before.”

Raven bites her lip before deciding to tell her the truth, “Damian asked me to come watch him play.”

“Are you serious?” Jinx raises her brows and snorts, “That’s hilarious. Pansy is going to be pissed. She’s been bragging for months about how her family is trying to negotiate a marriage contract with Wayne.”

“They still do those?” Raven asks, befuddled while declining whatever mysterious liquid Jinx offers from her flask.

“Yeah, the purebloods do. Last I heard the Wayne’s weren’t very receptive though. I’m sure Damian’s determined to make his own choices,” Jinx flashes her a look from the side.

“You can’t tell anyone, I don’t want to cause Damian or anyone else any trouble. Just being here is enough to get people talking,” Raven says.

“So what? Fuck ‘em,” Jinx takes a small swig from her bottle, “Most people here don’t have anything better to do than talk anyway. They don’t know shite about the real world and probably never will.”

Raven admires Jinx’s blas é outlook on life. Her indifference gives her a confidence that shows in her stance, not caring about what anyone thinks about her or anything else for that matter. While it’s an attitude that Raven has yearned for herself, she knows that there’s also repercussions to not caring about the world or anyone in it. For her the consequences are astronomical.

“Maybe not, but their families have real influence over my life, and I’d rather not get caught in the middle of another political war.”

“Fair enough,” Jinx shrugs, “I won’t say anything if that makes you feel better.”

“Thank you.”

There’s a short pause, then Jinx asks, “Soo, you haven’t seen Wayne in a uniform yet have you?”

“No?” Raven asks, uncertain by the motive behind her question.

Jinx’s mischievous grin is back on her face as she takes yet another sip from her flask. “Oh, you’re in for a real treat. Just wait, they’re supposed to start in a few minutes.”

Raven gives her a look, one that she hopes shows her irritation, as they wait. Everyone else seems to quiet down too, anticipating their entrance.

When they come out, Raven has to physically stop herself from dropping her jaw. Dear gods. Damian’s tight uniform long-sleeve shirt clings to the muscles of his arms and his chest. His trousers hug his body like it’s a second skin. The roar of all the cheering around her can’t distract her from the way he glides through the air on his broom—like flying is second nature. The way his gloved fingers grip the handle ignites something inside of her, and she flushes.

Damian flies around in a circle around the stadium, and their eyes meet when he passes their stand. He flashes her a smile and then winks, and Raven’s surprised that she doesn’t just melt into a puddle right there on the spot. She offers a small wave and smile of her own in return, just before he moves on.

“Hot right?” Jinx elbows her in the middle and Raven scowls, saying nothing. She crosses her arms and watches the rest of the players fly in.

Beside her Jinx screams when the commentator introduces the Slytherins. Damian’s name is called last as the seeker. Raven knows the basics of Quidditch, and that it means that he’ll be spending the entirety of the game trying to find the snitch.

The game is surprisingly engaging, and towards the end Raven finds herself standing on her feet, leaning towards the field. The two teams are neck and neck, and Gryffindor scores with under a minute left.

Just when it looks like Gryffindor is going to win, Damian comes hurling down in the middle of the field. He crashes in the ice-covered dirt, and everyone is dead silent as he rolls to a stop. Then he throws his arm in the air, revealing the snitch captured in his hand.

The commentator blares through the speaker a moment later, announcing Slytherin as the champion.

Raven laughs in disbelief as the crowd around her storms the field. She can’t believe he managed to pull off a win like that. Then her heart drops into her stomach as reality sets in. She has to go to the Yule Ball with Damian Wayne, and she doesn’t even own a dress.

Looks like she has some shopping to do.

She thinks about waiting around to congratulate Damian, but the swarm around him and the rest of the team is growing rapidly. It’s fun to watch for a minute as everyone jumps up and down around him, patting him on the back as he raises the Quidditch Cup in the air. The toothy grin on his face warms her in a way that her charms never will.

Eventually, she turns away to make the trek back to her dorm.

It’s much colder now as the sun is beginning to set, and more slippery too. Unfortunately, her combat boots only help so much. She’s about a half mile out when one step slides against a particularly slick piece of ice. She loses her balance, and prepares to fall when a hand grips her elbow to help steady her.

“I’m going to have to follow you around everywhere to make sure you’re taken care of aren’t I?”

Raven turns in shock to see Damian behind her, easing her back onto both feet, “What are you doing here? Aren’t you supposed to be celebrating your big win?” she asks instead of answering his question.

“I wanted to thank my good luck charm for coming to my game, and to make sure she doesn’t back out of our bet,” he says with a tease, appraising her clothes. She can see the approval in his gaze to see her wearing his attire. It makes her feel a bit weak in the knees, but she decides to blame that on the ice.

“Don’t worry, I don’t have any intentions of backing out. I’m a witch of my word,” she says. It’s one of the only things she has. “I’ll have to take a trip to Hogsmeade for a dress though.”

“Get a green one,” he says quickly, “You look good in green.”

“Noted,” she replies, sending him a smirk, “You know if we show up at the ball together people will talk? I don’t exactly have the best reputation around here.”

Damian shrugs, “You’re not your father, and people will eventually see that.” He starts walking with her, and Raven is highly aware that he has not let go of her elbow.

“Well, you may be the only one,” she quips back.

“All the better, then I can keep you all to myself,” his grin is bordering on cocky, like he has a special secret that no one else knows. Raven chokes back on a retort, unable to hold back the flush at the back of her neck. It’s a good thing she covered up with his scarf.

Then she sighs, “Damian, you know it’s going to be more than just talking. People are going to come for me when they see us together. Some will probably try to ruin whatever chances I have of a future.”

He’s silent for a few minutes, the only sound around on their walk is the crunch of their boots on the ice. A light wind breezes between them, and Raven suppresses a shudder from the cold. Damian must notice, because he presses his side in closer to hers, sharing his warmth.

“Raven, don’t you think it’s time to show everyone that they’re wrong about you? You shouldn’t have to hide anymore. I won’t let anyone bother you at the ball, I promise.”

Raven chews the inside of her cheek, mulling over his words. For so long she’s been hypervigilant about everything she says or does, fearful of how some people will interpret her intentions. Maybe Damian’s right, and it’s time to stop running. How long will she let her father and his actions hang over her head?

“I’ll hold you to that promise—but you’re buying my dress. If everyone’s going to be staring at us I might as well be the best looking one there.”

Damian’s laugh echoes in the cold air, and Raven can feel his shoulders shake against her, “Deal,” he says.

Raven promptly nods, and the rest of the walk back they talk about plans to go shopping next week. By the time they reach the entrance to Hogwarts Raven realizes that she’s no longer cold.

She feels like Damian has just lit every part of her on fire.

Raven is nervous when she reaches the top of the stairs. Below, the ball is in full swing, and Damian’s waiting for her. She wrings her gloved hands together, before swiping a ringlet from her pinned hair out of her line of vision. Then she places her hand at her chest, just above the sweetheart neckline of her sparkling emerald gown. The sheer, matching cape clasped around her neck feels a little tight. She takes a moment to rearrange it around her before letting it fall delicately around her shoulders and down her open back.

She has half a mind to walk away, and she probably would if it hadn’t taken her all of two hours to get ready. That and the thought of disappointing Damian sends a pang through her chest.

I can do this. Just a short walk down the stairs where the entirety of the student body can see her, and then she can pull Damian into a corner and hide the rest of the evening. She takes a deep breath and takes the bottom of her dress into her hands, lifting just an inch so that she doesn’t trip over her heeled feet.

When she steps into the limelight she nearly grimaces as the chatter seems to die down all at once, all to stare at her. She can feel her heartbeat hard and fast in her chest, and her breaths are coming in short pants when she spots Damian at the bottom of the stairs.

He looks…awestruck. It takes her by surprise, and it distracts her from the rest of the stares. She focuses on him, and his reassuring smile, and by the time she reaches him she’s not so nervous anymore.

“You are stunning,” he says, reaching out for her to take his hand. She does, and he starts to lead them to a less-crowded area.

“You’re looking handsome yourself,” she tells him. His black suit and robe must be tailored to his exact measurements, because it fits him perfectly. There’s not a hair out of place, and the Wayne insignia ring on his forefinger shines bright. He looks every part the eligible bachelor that Jinx says he is.

“Thank you,” he says, pulling them into a corner that’s out of the foot traffic to give her a moment to collect herself. Raven takes the time to admire him fully, all the way down to his leather Santoni shoes. He’s so gorgeous he’s hard to look at.

“And thank you for coming,” he murmurs somewhere close to her ear, his breath sending goosebumps rising on her arms.

“Don’t thank me yet, I’m sure I’ll get you back for this somehow,” she teases, grinning at his snort.

“And I look forward to that, but for now I’d love to show you off on the dance floor. Is that okay?” he asks, aware of her earlier unease.

“As long as you’re leading because I have two left feet,” she says.

“Deal,” he replies, taking her hand in his again, “I won’t let you fall Raven, you have my word.”

“Good,” she says, allowing him to lead her to the dance floor. There’s still a lot of staring as they walk by, but for some reason it doesn’t bother her as much with her hand in Damian’s.

The song starting is slower, and the dance is a simple waltz so she’s confident enough to not trip. Still, she relies heavily on Damian’s queue as he twirls them around. After a few minutes, she gets lost in the sparkle of his eyes and the way they hold her own. They dance for what feels like close to an hour, as one song blurs into another, but time doesn’t exist at this moment. They’re just wrapped up in each other, and everything else just fades away.

Then he dips her, and the outline of his frame is encased in the glow from the chandelier above them. The sight of him is beautiful and breathtaking, and it’s everything she never knew she wanted.

When he brings them back upright and the song ends, they’re nearly nose to nose. Something between them shifts, and Damian’s eyes dip lower from her eyes to her lips. His nose brushes against hers, almost lovingly. She’s certain that he’s about to kiss her, and she’s about to kiss him back, and that tonight is something she’ll never forget.

Their lips are just about to meet when someone from behind her bumps into her side, and Raven tumbles over. Then Astoria Greengrass is in her face, babbling an apology just as the flute in her hand pours an unknown liquid over the front of Raven’s gown.

Damian, true to his word, keeps her from falling, but Raven can’t find the words to thank him—too focused on what could have been. Now the moment is lost forever, and they both know it.

“Oh my gods, I cannot believe how clumsy I’ve been,” Astoria fusses over Raven’s gown, “I am so sorry, truly, I’m completely mortified. Please, let me help you to the ladies room.”

“No thank you,” she says, wrenching out of her grasp, “I’m perfectly fine going by myself, although I appreciate your offer.”

“If you insist, but really it’s no trouble to tag along—”

“Again, thank you, but I’m really okay.” Raven takes a step backward, picking up on the malice blaring in Astoria’s aura. She’s about to escape from the scene entirely when Astoria seizes her wrist in a tight grip.

Then Damian breaks her hold and pulls Astoria away from her. He growls something in her face that Raven can’t quite understand, but she doesn’t need to. The rage clear in his eyes tells her everything she needs to know. That what happened isn’t an accident, it’s sabotage.

Damian sends Astoria scurrying off with a squeak of terror, but Raven is already turning away. The front of her dress is covered in something sticky and although it’ll only take a second to fix it with a spell she desperately needs a moment alone.

Damian tries to talk to her, “Raven, I’m so sorry—”

She cuts him off, not able to take another apology, especially from him, “It’s fine, don’t worry about it. I’ll be right back okay?”

“I’ll go with you.”

“No,” she waves him off, “I promise it’ll just be a minute. Please, excuse me,” she rushes off, not waiting to hear his reply. Not able to stand there a second longer, because she had been so close to a dream she thought was too far out of reach. And then it had been taken from her.

Raven pushes the door open to the bathroom, heels clacking on the linoleum. When she reaches the sink she takes hold of it with both hands and looks into the mirror. Her chest is heaving with panicked breaths and bites her lip to keep from sobbing. Her hair is askew from her dash from the dance floor, and her cape is hanging haphazardly over one shoulder. At least her makeup is still nice, and as long as she doesn’t cry her mascara should stay put. She focuses on the spill next, murmuring a few charms to clean it up after getting her breathing under control.

She’s a few minutes away from deeming herself capable of going back out when one of the bathroom stalls opens. Pansy Parkinson walks out in a slinky black gown with a villainous smirk growing on her face as their eyes meet in the mirror.

“It looks like you missed a spot, need some help?” she asks haughtily.

“No thank you,” Raven ignores her in favor of soaping up her hands to wash, “I’m managing just fine.”

“Actually I don’t think you are. Do you know how many people are vying for Damian’s attention? Compared to them you’re just a drop in the bucket.”

Raven stills, anger heating up her face, before continuing to wash her hands, “I think I’ll let Damian decide who he wants to give his attention to.”

Pansy draws closer, “You might think this is just a game, but it’s not. You think what Astoria just did to you is bad? That’s just the beginning if you continue down this road. I’m only going to warn you once, demon. Stay away from Damian Wayne.”

Her hands shake with thinly controlled rage as she washes the water off, which she knows Pansy assumes is fear from her smug smile. Raven takes the time to dry her hands before she turns back around and faces the Slytherin directly, “Trust me when I say I know all too well that this isn’t a game, but you don’t really know who I am. I’ve walked a very thin line to get where I am here at Hogwarts. I still walk that line. Every. Day.” She pauses to ensure she has Pansy’s full attention, “If you do anything to mess that up for me, I will have nothing left. And when I have nothing left, I’ll show you just how much of a demon I can be.”

The color slowly drains from Pansy’s face, and Raven cocks her head innocently, “You’re looking a little pale, Pansy. Why don’t you take a minute to freshen up? I think I’m going to go out and enjoy the rest of my evening . ”

That seems to bring the girl’s color back redder than before as she grits her teeth, gripping her clutch so hard Raven can see the white of her knuckles. “You’re going to regret the way you just spoke to me.”

Raven rolls her eyes, “The only thing I’m regretting right now is entertaining this conversation with you.”

“You have no idea who you’re messing with. My family can make your life a living hell, and if you stand in my way then I’ll make sure of that myself.”

Raven's laugh is hard and cruel, “You’ll never be able to make my life worse than the hell I’ve already lived through. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’d like to go back out to my date . Unless you want to take this up with the headmistress instead?”

A myriad of emotions cross Pansy’s face, before landing on something lethal. Her eyes narrow as she steps close enough that Raven can smell her rosy perfume, “Watch your back, demon filth,” Pansy hisses, pushing past her and storming out of the bathroom.

Although Raven should feel victorious for standing up to Pansy, she mostly just feels on edge. This is her reality if she wants to be with Damian. Always looking over her shoulder for someone that’s desperate to take her place. Forced to play the role of a viper and strike back twice as fast to protect herself.

She takes another minute to collect herself in the mirror before following Pansy out of the bathroom shortly after. Then Damian is immediately at her side, handing her a cup of water, “Are you okay?” he asks.

Raven musters a smile, and accepts the glass gratefully, “Yeah I’m okay, just some girl talk.”

“Pansy?”

“Yep.”

Damian runs a hand through his hair, disheveling a few of the strands, “I should tell you that her family’s been trying to make a marriage contract happen between us for years, but my father’s turned them down three times already. I don’t think they know how to take ‘no’ for an answer.”

“So it seems,” she says, slightly amused.

“Do you want to go for a walk outside? I think we could both use the fresh air.”

“Yeah,” she breathes, “That would be great.”

As Damian guides her towards the exit leading to the school gardens, a commotion catches her attention. Just out of her peripheral vision, before the party fades from view, she spots Jinx across the room, tossing her own drink at Astoria.

Raven suppresses a chuckle as a funny feeling in her chest grows. So maybe she isn’t completely alone in this. Maybe she has a few friends who won’t hesitate to defend her. That’s a comforting thought, and she takes it with her on the walk, allowing it to shroud around her like a shield.

Maybe demons can dream after all.

The first thing she notices when stepping outside is the sky. It’s clear, nearly a full moon, and the stars are just as bright. It bathes the gardens in a celestial glow, and the snow covered grounds makes it all look surreal.

She takes a deep breath, relishing in the fresh air. It helps to clear her mind, especially as Damian’s hand settles on the small of her back to steer her towards a gazebo outlooking the central yard. It’s covered in fairy lights, and she’s delighted to find that there’s a warming charm when she steps inside.

“Feeling better?” Damian asks, his hand traveling up to brush her arm. Raven nods while enjoying the view.

“Much, this was a good idea,” she bumps him lightly, “Thanks.”

“No need to thank me, what happened earlier was my fault. I should have known that Pansy and Astoria were planning something.”

Raven props her elbows up against the wooden rail, and looks up at the sky, “No, it wasn’t your fault,” she glances back at him, “I’ve been dealing with discrimination since my first day here. This really isn’t anything new.”

“Still, I wish that I could have protected you from it, somehow.”

Raven smiles at his blatant concern, “I used to think that if I stayed quiet and kept my head down that everyone would just leave me alone. Try and graduate without a fuss,” she chuckles drily, “I was stupid to think maybe that could be enough.”

Damian covers one of his hands with hers, capturing her attention.“You’re definitely not stupid Raven, but you are a fighter. You’re one of the bravest people I know. To have hope like that, even knowing that people might treat you differently because of what happened? That’s admirable.”

Something stirs in Raven’s chest at his words. A spark that lights a fire within her, “You��re right, I am a fighter. I deserve to have the same opportunities as everyone else, regardless of my family name. I can dream about anything I want—and I’m starting with that internship.”

Damian’s smile is wide, “That’s my girl.”

Her stomach makes a little flip at his words, but she doesn’t let that stop her from throwing her arms around his neck, “Thank you Damian.”

His arms tighten around her after getting over his initial shock from her touch, and his chin rests gently on the top of her head, “You’re welcome Raven,” he leans back to look down at her, “Now how about you tell me what really happened in the bathroom, and maybe I’ll consider giving the next book in that series you’ve been reading all semester.”

Raven ignores the fact that Damian obviously keeps up with her reading habits, and looks at him with a raised brow, “The next book doesn’t come out until next summer.”

“I may or may not have the author’s copy.”

“You do not,” her eyes light up at his smirk, “How did you manage to get one?”

“I pulled a few strings,” he trails, choosing not to indulge any further.

“I cannot believe you!”

“I’ll show it to you later. It was going to be your Christmas present, but now it’s my bargaining chip.”

Raven sends him a mock glare, “That’s not fair, it’s my present.”

“Nope, it’s not fair at all,” Damian grins, “So spill first—then you’ll get your present.”

She bites her lip, “You have to swear that you won’t do or say anything about it to anyone else.” Even though she had threatened Pansy earlier, she never intended to say anything to Damian about their conversation.

“So something did happen?” his eyes bunch together with concern, “Did she or Astoria hurt you?”

“No, no one hurt me,” Raven sighs, “I’ll tell you what happened but I’m serious. I don’t want anyone getting in trouble, that’ll just make everything worse.”

“I promise,” Damian holds out his hand, “Pinky promise.”

With a smile she interloops her pinky with his, “And you better be serious about that book. I expect it to be in my hands before the night’s over.”

“Don’t worry, we’ll go right up to my dorm to get it after you tell me everything. ”

Raven rolls her eyes and feigns annoyance, but the grin obvious on her face betrays her true feelings. So they sit down on the closest bench under the gazebo, and Damian leans in close as Raven starts to recall her confrontation with Pansy. She lays a hand softly on his arm when his hands clench, nearly shaking with unbridled and righteous rage. They continue to talk until they’re both calmer, and ready to put the events from the evening behind them. Then their conversation evolves to other things—her internship, his family—everything and anything they can think about.

The longer they spend together the harder it gets for Raven to keep her hands to herself. She reaches out to rub a comforting hand down his arm as he talks about the strained relationship with his parents. Then she smacks his shoulder when he jokes about that one Niffler incident last year. (They had chased it down for nearly an hour before trapping it in a corner…right before it jumped right on top of her head).

He listens intently as she talks about her wishes of becoming a part of something bigger than herself. Together they dream about the world they want to create.

As it starts to get later and the warming charms begin to fade, Raven follows Damian back inside and through the halls to his dorm. She waits outside while he grabs her book, and then together he takes her hand and they walk to Ravenclaw common room.

Students are filtering in and out of the halls, all still filled with an excited energy from the night. Raven’s thankful they’re not on patrol duty tonight, and she holds her book close to her chest with the hand that’s not holding Damian's.

Witches and wizards whisper to each other as they walk by, but Raven doesn’t care. She’s too focused on the warm, fuzzy feeling growing in her chest as Damian’s thumb strokes lightly over the back of her hand.

The door to the common room is wide open when they get there. Damian insists on walking her to her room, and from the amount of inter-house couples visiting she figures it won’t hurt to add another Slytherin to the mix. There’s a part of her that’s a little anxious about Damian seeing her room, but the larger part that just wants him closer keeps her walking.

She lets go of Damian’s hand to open the door, missing his warmth, and she holds it open wider for him to follow her inside.

“Yeah, this is almost exactly what I imagined your room would look like,” Damian says, voice full of amusement. His eyes quickly scan her room, taking note of the high black shelves—each stacked to the top with books. Another in the corner is full of potion ingredients. Her walls are painted a dark navy blue (her house colors of course), and her gray blackout curtains are pulled back, putting the courtyard below on full display.

“Oh bugger off,” Raven places her newest novel on the desk, fingers lingering on the cover, “You know how much I love books and dark colors.”

“That’s true, I don’t think I’ve ever seen you without a book in your hands,” he teases back.

“Well they’re book free for now,” Raven wiggles her fingers at him, “but I don’t know if I’ll be able to say the same in the next few minutes.”

He smiles, shoving his hands in his pockets, “Well I’m glad you like your present. Happy Christmas Raven.”

“Happy Christmas Damian. I feel bad though, I didn’t get you anything.”

“Of course you did. Tonight with you was my Christmas present, the best one yet.”

There’s something in his eyes that looks like before when they were out on the dance floor and enraptured in each other. Now they’re in the safety of her room with no one to interrupt them, and it sends Raven’s heart racing. She wraps a hand around the back of her neck, suddenly feeling a bit shy.

Damian steps closer, and Raven sucks in a soft breath. She so desperately wants to grab him by his lapels and pull him forward to meet her lips. How many times had she daydreamed about snogging him? Too many to count. Now that he’s right here, inches away and leaning in, she feels herself pulling away. Despite how perfect she imagines it will be because Pansy’s words are stuck in the back of her mind, telling her that all she’ll do is hold him back.

And her heart breaks just a little when he pulls back too, concern clearly written on his face, but all she can do is turn away.

“I think we both should get some rest,” she whispers, her voice shaky but clear enough for Damian to realize that this is goodbye.

He looks at her and Raven thinks for a moment that he might argue. Nothing has ever stopped him from doing just that before, but he doesn’t. Instead he sighs, “You’re probably right,” he says, taking her hand in his once more. Then he brings it up to his lips and gives it just the barest of kisses before letting it go, “sweet dreams Raven.”

“Goodnight Damian.”

She has to bite her lip as she watches him turn away to keep herself from calling him back. When he shuts the door she slumps on the bed, the fabric of her dress crinkles as she sits, and she drops her face into her hands.

She spends the rest of the night wondering what would have happened if she didn’t care about what anyone thought and just kissed him anyway.

The fall out of last night with Pansy isn’t as bad as Raven thought it would be.

Rumors fly of course (both literally and figuratively), but she’s surprised to find that just as many people seem to take her side as they do Pansy’s.

Regardless, being at the center of attention is always something that Raven tries her best to avoid. So when witches and wizards flock to her from all houses in between class changes she’s nearly at her wits end by the time she gets to her last one with Snape. She sits down with a huff as some students turn back to look at her. After a well-placed glare they turn back just as quickly.

Jinx applauds her, “Nice glare Ravenclaw, you have a lot of Slytherin potential.”

“Thanks,” Raven grumbles, “But I’m trying to distance myself from Slytherin right now.”

“This doesn’t have to do with a certain Slytherin prefect and Quidditch cup champion does it?”

“How did you know? It’s not like the entire school is talking about us right now,” she mocks, then sends Jinx a smirk, “Although I will say there’s a lot of people also talking about how you humiliated Astoria last night.”

The smile Jinx gives her is downright evil, “You don’t know how happy that makes me. If we’re being real though she had it coming since first year.”

In a rare moment of vulnerability Raven gives her a warm smile, “Thanks for sticking up for me Jinx, that honestly means a lot.”

“And I’ll do it again,” Jinx flips her vibrant pink hair over her shoulder, “Hey listen. This thing you kind of have with Damian—it’s good you know that right? I saw him at lunch, he doesn't care about the rumors. He just asked about you, and if you were okay. ”

Raven sighs, “I like him, Jinx. A lot. I just…I’m not good for him. I have so much baggage, I’m afraid I’m going to drag him down.”

“You’re an idiot, and I mean that in the best way,” Jinx rolls her eyes, “Anyone would be lucky to have you.”

“Awh, how sweet of you to say,” Raven says drily.

“I know, I’m really channeling my inner Hufflepuff. Don’t expect that to last though.”

Raven shakes her head, but smiles nonetheless as Professor Snape starts class with hiss to quiet down.

They’re well into creating their next potion when Jinx bumps her shoulder after handing over the fluxweed.

“Just think about giving it a chance.”

Raven doesn’t have to ask her what she means. Damian’s been the only thing she’s been able to think about all day. She nods, and they finish their potion together in silence. The rest of class goes by fast and she makes the trip back to the common room after telling Jinx goodbye. Then she shuts her door to her room and the rest of the world, deigning to read her book in isolation as everyone else starts to pack.

She doesn’t know when she’ll see Damian next, but she can’t quite make herself go out to search for him yet.

Mostly because she’s afraid of what he’ll say if she tells him the truth.

There’s only one part of the year the corridors at Hogwarts are empty, and Raven looks forward to it every time it comes around. Everyone else leaves to go home for Christmas break, all except her of course, but that’s okay. Hogwarts is more of a home than her father’s manor ever was. Now especially. It’s quiet and calm, and safe .

Soon everyone will be back for the spring semester—but at least for now she can breathe again.

For the first time in a while she finds herself relaxing in front of the fireplace in the living area. Tucking her fuzzy-socked feet underneath her, she leans back into the couch with her wool blanket. While pulling out the book Damian gave her she hums to herself with gratification at the snow falling steadily outside the nearby window. The only thing that can make this perfect is—

“Tea?” A voice calls out behind her. Raven turns, cooling her features to hide her surprise when she finds Damian there, with a mug in each hand.

“Damian? I didn’t know you were still here?” She takes the cup with thanks, bringing it to her nose and breathing in. There’s a hint of something herbal and sweet—almost fruity like apples, and it’s wonderful. Chamomile.

“I’ll be leaving this evening,” he says, taking a seat on the couch next to her, “I wanted to stay back for a bit before I go.”

She thinks about asking why, but she knows that Damian is about to tell her himself. She feels the undercurrent of his emotions in his aura, each one just as complex as the other. There’s something brewing underneath, bubbling as he draws closer.

“Thank you,” she murmurs, taking an experimental sip. It fills her with warmth and sends tingles down to the tips of her toes. She knows they should talk about why she’s been avoiding him. She opens her mouth to give him an apology when he cuts her off,

“I have another present for you,” Damian says, and Raven notices the letter in his hand for the first time. She raises her brows, tentatively reaching out for it when Damian hands it to her.

“What is it?” she asks, turning it over. The Wayne’s wax seal is stamped onto the back and her fingers brush over it. It’s gold with a large W in the middle, surrounded by a crest and a sword at the top, intertwined with vines.

“It’s my father’s recommendation letter. I told him about how you’ve been wanting to apply for the internship at the Ministry a while ago and he wanted to help.”

Raven feels her heart skip a beat. After Headmistress McGonagall and Professor Snape both agreed to write her a recommendation, she only needs one more. A letter from Bruce Wayne is pretty much a guaranteed acceptance. This is her opportunity to show the Ministry that she’s not her father. This is life changing. It’s everything. It’s…too much.

“Damian I can’t accept this, it’s too generous,” she holds the letter back out to him, “I don’t deserve this.”

“Raven,” Damian says, capturing her wrist in his hand to stop her, “You’re going to be fighting to prove people they’re wrong about you for the rest of your life, all because of your father. I get a chance to help because of mine. Take it, because this will be an uphill battle. You’re going to need all the help you can get, and it’s okay to let us—let me help.”

Tears well in the corners of her eyes. Never has she been presented with such generosity without someone trying to serve their own self-interests. The sincerity in Damian’s voice is overwhelming. He wants to help her because he can, and that’s it.

“I don’t know how I could ever thank either of you for this,” she says, taking a shaky breath.

Damian smiles and tenderly reaches out to brush her hair out of her face and behind her ears. “You can come visit home with me and thank him yourself if you want. Everyone would love to have you, especially Alfred. He’s been wanting to meet you ever since I came home talking all about you during first year.”

Raven laughs through her tears, shaking her head, because this can’t possibly be real. Except it is, and Damian’s smile is hopeful, mirroring the hope now blooming in her chest, and his thumb is brushing away the tear that rolls down her face.

She doesn’t know how this will go—doesn’t even know how to navigate a courtship, but she does know she wants to try. Damian’s worth it.

“Deal.”

His grin lights up the entire room, “Can I kiss you now?”

Raven nods enthusiastically, “Yes, please, I want that very much.”

“Good,” he murmurs against her mouth, “Because you don’t know how long I’ve wanted to snog you.”

“I think I have an idea,” she says, closing the rest of the distance.

Their lips meet for the first time, and her eyes slide shut as she breathes in his scent. The same one from his beanie that had driven her crazy. Just like the way he holds her tight as if she’ll disappear forever in an instant, and the maddening path of his hands sliding up and under her sweater to feel the bare skin of her lower back.

When he deepens their kiss, and she moans softly into his mouth, she thinks about how she never wants to be sane again.

#damirae #damian x raven #teen titans #ao3 fanfic #fanfic #fan fiction #a03 writer #read on a03 #fluff #christmas fluff #harry potter au

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