#and of course he's actually very hurt and damaged under all of that. but does that really matter if you're hurting everyone around you 👍

[vulpinesaint]

tell me about faedrennnnnn

oh my goddddd okay. essay. putting this under a readmore cause not only do i not want all of this directly on people's dash i personally do not want to have to scroll past all this when i go through my little faedren tag for funzies (<— subtle promotion for my faedren tag. which is very funzies)

trying to remember what i told you in my last very long faedren post. i think i have to approach this from my constant litany of 'people think faedren is like this but that's NOT what's going on' and then i will tell you what i've been thinking about with him plot-wise lately :D

so. my thing with faedren is that people often think he is a certain way based off of surface-level observations and while those things may be true to a certain point they are NEVER fully accurate. faedren from the outside seems like a violent fuckboy religious fanatic who wants to fuck his goddess and like. hm. yeah. some of that. but more thoroughly:

faedren is a cult member 👍 this is not something that he knows about himself but it is something that his party members have noted and are. concerned about. lmao. the point being: he absolutely is a religious fanatic, and his views are skewed because he was taught an extreme version of the dictates of calistria (goddess of lust, trickery, and revenge), but it comes along with like. other stuff. he is extremely easy to set off on a tangent about how beautiful and perfect his goddess is and it seems like usual fucked up religious fanaticism but also faedren is like. for real in love with his goddess. he grew up in an environment where he was NOT receiving the connection that people need, and in his head, his goddess is the only being that truly cares for him. so he talks about her with stars in his eyes and follows what he believes to be her edicts with absolute devotion, and a lot of it is driven by this parasocial and extremely personal connection that he created with his image of his goddess as. a coping strategy, essentially.

from that. faedren sleeps around at whatever chance he gets but that's primarily an extension of the sentiments that i mentioned just now. first of all sex as an explicitly approved religious thing haha. second of all he is starved for connection and affection and at this point in his life he has rationalized that the only way that he can get that is in casual hookups. does that come across when he's making out with a random soldier or flirting with any woman he sees at the bar. no. but it's important for me to note about him.

faedren perpetrates and idealizes a LOT of violence but he is not an implicitly violent or angry or destructive person. he's incredibly chill, actually, all things considered. when i say he rocks up to the function sounding like a personal trainer who's really involved in social media wellness trends, that Is reflective of his demeanor and inner life. for him, sex and violence are religious dictates that are the course to personal peace and catharsis and the ultimate path to a happy life. faedren espouses all the beauty of terrible gory revenge not because he really wants to hurt people but because in his head, it's about taking the anger that builds when someone wrongs you and directing it back on that person with extreme prejudice until you find catharsis, and that lets you continue on with your life in peace, unburdened by that frustration. he's not even really that pressed about being wronged. he acts like he's hot shit but that's just a high charisma score and confidence in his objective attractiveness and skill with weaponry; he has very little ego or self-worth, and so he doesn't really care when you bump into him too hard at the bar, but he is very dedicated to his goddess and following her teachings so he's gonna turn around and beat the shit out of you on principle. it's not about retribution as it is about acting out revenge: he's following the steps of revenge as he sees it, which is 1) identifying some wrong and 2) returning that wrong. he has been hurt much worse by people he cares about and trusted before, but he doesn't follow through with that as revenge, because he doesn't process it as a wrong done to him; of course he can be hurt by someone he cares about.

to that point. he is chaotic neutral. not chaotic evil. he'd burn down that village but it wouldn't be about destroying things or hurting people; it'd be some other motivation at play. he sucks really bad (for reasons that are not entirely his fault) and he doesn't do good things but he's not a Bad Person. he's not malicious, doesn't treat people with malice. he follows through on a set of principles that he's been given with devotion bordering on obsession, but that's about personal principle.

he's actually a pretty positive guy :) walks into every social situation with a smile ready to meet new people learn new things. he doesn't really. know how to handle negative emotions. so he brushes off physical and emotional pain and continues on as best he can. tries to numb and ignore the pain whenever possible. he has an alcohol problem 👍

so that brings us to the present! and also to faedren with his party, who he's gotten very close with over a long, harrowing time spent fairly isolated fighting in terrible conditions. group of guys who all have to sleep in the same room with each other to feel safe. shout out to all of these motherfuckers for not knowing anything about connection and affection (abused cult member) (literal demon from hell put into a mortal body) (girl who was raised alone in the woods with just her parents) and therefore not knowing how to express that they care for each other. or even fully realize it, really. the polycule <3

faedren's friends (who he's kind of in love with but doesn't know how to process that) are very invested in trying to get him to realize that he's cared for, that he's worth something, etc. etc. and faedren is REELING with the positive personal connections and affection from people who genuinely care for him. totally fucking crazy. rewriting the rules of life as he knows them. absolutely does not know what the hell to do with that.

it's good though! so they all pile into the same bed to ward off the nightmares and they all go into battle together knowing exactly how they should structure the party and they all know what order they walk in when they go through a dungeon. and then they're getting through a vampire-infested cave system and they get to the end of a puzzle room and they find what they're looking for. and they don't know that this stone is going to temporarily vampirize the person who touches it. and faedren's party member touches it and when he walks into the room, unaware of what's happening, he gets attacked and nearly gets his throat ripped out by someone he loves.

so that. sucks. and he's fucked up about it but he's so woozy on bloodloss that he can't even begin to process that. so it waits until the morning, when he decides that he's going to be pragmatic about it, and tells his party member (who he flinches when he sees in the room, because he may be trying to be reasonable about this but his body is learning otherwise) that it's fine. it's okay. it doesn't matter that he was hurt; there's no hard feelings, because faedren's been hurt way worse before, he can take this, it wasn't their fault, and relationships are supposed to hurt. that's how things work. he was doubting it for a second there, but now he's been very clearly reminded of the way of the world and he's fully aware that caring about someone hurts. smiles. tries to laugh about it. doesn't know how to deal with the negative emotions that would come with this, so tries not to feel negatively about it at all.

and what he takes from that is that yeah. caring about people will always hurt you. and he resolves to pull himself away from his party members to spare himself the pain the next time. he's never been loved by people like that before and it was wonderful but it makes him so much easier to hurt, so it's better to keep things shallow, easy, trysts with strangers and comrades in battle only because he can't take on a whole group by himself.

lucky for him the party member who bit him is also feeling extremely fucked up about it! so they both independently start to pull away from the party. and one of their party members, the little pumpkin leshy who faedren taught to read, gets fucking Slaughtered, and so what is there to really keep them together any longer?

anyway. faedren pulls away. and it's one thing to promise yourself that you'll do that and it's another thing to be face-to-face with the Distance between yourself and the people you were so close with. and he's so so sad and so frustrated with the lack of simplicity and the lack of trust and he's only ever been taught how to channel that into anger

faedren's only ever having been taught to channel negative emotions into anger, and when he's finally dealing with intense negative emotions that he can’t falsely cheer himself out of or staunchly ignore, he only knows how to turn it into tenseness, standoffishness, anger. and he’s not angry. he’s so so sad in a way that he’s never been before (and possibly in a way that he’s always been but has never let himself recognize) but when it starts bubbling over he only has one channel for it. so when he flinches without meaning to at the sight of his party member around a corner (because even though they have lurked in the shadows as long as he's known them, his body doesn't trust them like that anymore) the only thing that reaction can become for him is clenched fists and a tense jaw and eventually snapped harsh words that he doesn’t mean and that he would never have said before. trying not to put a hand to his sword but if his body is in fight or flight then fighting is all his body knows how to do.

so he crosses a bunch of little lines doing things that he didn’t really mean to do and wouldn’t have wanted to do and regrets doing, but he’s never been taught to apologize, and he’s never substantially fucked something up with someone who he actually had to repair a relationship with over something that he actually did wrong and so he just. doesn’t. he gets defensive. gets angrier about it. he knows somewhere implicitly that yelling at his party member after a battle that went wrong was not the right thing to do and that it wasn’t justified, he knows that he wouldn’t have wanted to yell at his friend otherwise, but it’s so so so much easier on his heart to let his mind start spinning the cognitive dissonance into defensiveness. false justifications. more anger in response to being too harsh to begin with. and it cycles and cycles and cycles.

and THIS is where i get back around to my main point because i think this is where faedren starts turning into the person that people THINK he is.

my vision for faedren is that this is when he starts to develop an ego. because this is when he starts putting up walls: he finally gets the love he's wanted for so long and it's ripped away from him, and he's so so sad and so so angry, and he puts up boundaries to protect himself. builds up an ego to protect himself. says, for the first time, "no, i don't want to be hurt," and starts channeling that frustration out on other people. and this is where he does become malicious, because it's where he starts saying "i want other people to feel the hurt that i'm feeling." this is where his revenge fanaticism becomes less about devotional acts for his goddess and more about him becoming genuinely furious at the smallest slight, and carving out pounds of flesh for himself in retribution because it's gratifying. like i said, i don't think that faedren ever really truly has ill intent toward people unless they disrespected someone he loves: i think this gives him the capacity to hate people, given time.

and he's drinking more. and following the pleasures of the flesh. and if he's sleeping with people it's not for any care or connection with them. and he's mean in a way that he wasn't before, that he didn't have the capacity for. and violence is just another pleasure to indulge in because even if it doesn't lessen his own hurt at least he can watch someone else suffer for it. if faedren's ever manipulative it's at this point in his life: when he starts wanting things and taking them from other people. putting his insane intimidation stat to good use. enjoying the lying as the 'trickery' aspect of his goddess' edicts. and then there's the bad person that people have been interpreting him as. which is all to say that i think faedren gets hot and evil. nd i'm really passionate about it 👍

#and of course he's actually very hurt and damaged under all of that. but does that really matter if you're hurting everyone around you 👍 #he's gonna be so awful i think about him so much. i care about him so much actually #our dm let us have social time challenge these bitches need to destroy their own relationships with each other #faedren #he has a +13 to intimidation at level 6 btw! :D #this is not the extent of my faedren thoughts but i have to wrap this up SOMEHOW or i'll never stop talking about it 😭 #anyway faedren bad person arc!!!! whooooo let's goooo!!!!!!!! #ask

[edenfenixblogs]

I don’t think most non-Jews understand how disappointed we are in the left right now. How completely abandoned we’ve become. How our contributions to progress for other groups have been erased or disavowed or hidden. How the actual tangible things that Jews have contributed to black rights and civil rights are being ignored. How we’re being told we contribute and have contributed nothing.

How we are being told that the world has been kind to us when it never has. As if my mom didn’t grow up getting called a Kike and getting beat up for being Jewish. How I thought I had friends until I caught them saying “xyz was beautiful until Jews showed up.” How people told me I was pretty “for a Jew.” How I grew up hearing stories about bombs being set off in Israel in buses and markets. How I couldn’t even go two weeks without hearing that and how nobody cared and somehow, every time that happened, the whole world became more hostile to me for some reason.

I just don’t understand. I don’t understand what leftists are doing. Or why. I hate that I have to say—of course, I support a free and self determined Palestine (which I truly do)—in order for you to decide I’m worthy of care and support.

We showed up for you. All of you. And the entire movement is abandoning us at best or targeting us at worst. Celebrating our deaths. Saying we deserved it. How are we supposed to trust you ever again? How are we supposed to feel safe ever again?

A very few select people who are in my life have taken the chance to actually learn about and dismantle their own unconscious antisemitism during this time. And I’m eternally grateful for them. But most people haven’t reached out at all. Most people are still sharing hateful things that could get me hurt and they don’t care. Most people Reblogging my posts are still Jews. Because we are alone. And it sucks. You need to be as loud about antisemitism as you are about Palestine or you’re an antisemite (unless you’re Arab/Muslim/Palestinian—I totally get that these groups are also doing damage control in their own communities just like Jews are).

But we are all in tremendous pain right now.

This moment will pass. And when it does, I will remember how many people let me down. I will remember that when I needed support more than I’ve ever needed it in my life, people fucking vanished. They pretended violence against my people wasn’t happening. They ignored and rewrote the history of Israel to suit their own narratives.

You don’t know what it feels like to be hated this much for opposite things. PoC hate us for being too white. White supremacists hate us for not being white enough. Europeans hate us for being middle eastern. Middle easterners hate us for being western/European. Everyone hates us for being settlers but continually kicks us out of their countries so that we have to settle somewhere else.

I saw a post going around from a Black person who said that the reason he and his fellow black activists go protest for Palestinians instead of fighting antisemitism (as if it’s a binary, which it’s not) is that Jews don’t show up. Muslims and Palestinians do. And honestly? Fuck that guy. Heather Heyer died standing shoulder to shoulder against racism in 2017. [CORRECTION: When I first wrote this post I was under the impression that Heather Heyer was Jewish. I want to correct to avoid spreading misinfo. She was just the first (and incorrect) Jewish civil rights activist I thought of. However there are plenty of other actual Jewish civil rights activists to choose from. If you have reblogged this post from me, please feel free to add a link to the permalink version of this post with my correction to your reblog.]I have devoted substantial time and effort and money that I don’t even get paid a lot of because I don’t get paid a living wage. I have continually reached out to PoC people in my life of all religions to ask how they are doing and what I could be doing to help more—both for them personally and how they would best like me to help their community. I have elevated their voices at every opportunity. And not one person I checked in with has done the same for me or for my community.

And it’s bone chilling. It’s awful. And it’s even worse knowing that when it’s over, people will want to go back to normal. They won’t apologize. They won’t self reflect. They’ll just live their lives, maybe a little more aware of how much they hate us and completely indifferent to the harm they’ve caused us. How disposable they made us feel. And the thing is…it’s not hard for you to know. You just have to ask.

Too many people are cowards. Too many people care about looking good than actually learning something or making the world better. And to those people: you should be ashamed of yourself.

I don’t have any hate in my heart. Truly. Not a drop for any group of people. But I have a tremendous lack of trust that anyone would actually lift a finger to keep me safe.

#antisemitism #leftist antisemitism #anti zionisim #I dare a goy to republic this challenge #goyim ID yourself in the tags if you reblog this #cuz i straight up don’t believe goyisch activists give a shit unless they straight up say they do #i’m not okay #honestly #this is the Nazi stuff I am most scared of #sure the Nazis rounded us up #but you fuckers were the ones who watched and did nothing #you’re the ones who voted the Nazis in #you’re the ones who didn’t stop them #fuck all y’all for real #i/p #israel #palestine #correction issued

[drawnfamiliarfaces]

Okay, I'll continue talking! So as we all know, RC9GN frequently involves characters being turned into rampaging monsters through no real fault of their own. And then there's Evil Julian, who was a whole thing. What I'm saying is, the Ninja cast are not strangers to the idea of people being forced into evil the way Chase was... but I don't think Chase goes around telling people about his tragic backstory unless he's trying to make a point. So, like, do any of them know Chase is technically under the influence of a mind-altering substance? That he didn't want to be like this, he just didn't want his best friend to leave him behind? Under what circumstances might the First Ninja find out? Under what circumstances might Randy find out?

Of course, what happened to Chase is definitely not the same thing as what happens to people under the Sorcerer's influence. For one, it's a lot more permanent. It's pretty clear in Xiaolin Showdown that Chase is too far gone and can't be cured at this point, if he ever could have been. The only way to stop him from ending a haughty, self-centered dragon would be to stop him from drinking the soup to begin with. And he's still himself on some level. As you said, he still has honor, he can still care, he's still capable of independent rational thought. It seems less like possession and more like very targeted (evil) brain damage. At the same time, this does mean it's technically possible for Chase to turn his back on what he's become. He may never be who he was again, but he can still change, as Omi believes he can. Though jury's out if he believes he can change. Anyway, there's a lot of drama to be wrung out of this, especially if the First Ninja realizes he probably would have liked the man Chase used to be.

Also, I'm just saying, the First Ninja denying that he chained up his evil husband to stop Chase from hurting people while he searches for a cure to the curse that makes Chase evil would be very funny.

OKAY OW HANG ON LISTEN The idea of First deciding to chain up Chase not just because he is an evil menace, but also in order to find a cure for his transformation, hit me so unexpectedly hard in the feels, like FR DUDE???? OW???

(Even if it is a bit of funny mental image AND the wording 'targeted evil brain damage' made me snort so hard, oh my god im so sorry.)

There is an argument/theory about how technically Chase doesn't need to constantly drink the Soup (based on how in alternative future, captured by Jack, Chase didn't drink it in captivity, and as soon as he was released he was kinda bordering on 'feral' lizard mode - Soup helps him keep in control AND keep ahold of his human form, rather that he is absolutely dependant on it), but he does it because he is, well, basically addicted to it.

SO it would be more of First chaining his Evil Brain Damaged Addict of (totally not a) Husband in order for to find a most likely nonexisting cure to his cursed (????) transformation. The ANGST POTENTIAL of it.

And your first points are so interesting and absolutely valid! Chase's situation can be compared to Stank-ification, but you know what would make an even more interesting comparison? The Sorcerer himself.

I think we often forget that technically, Sorcerer situation is him being separated from his humanity and twisted into an immortal monster by Chaos Pearls, because he - as the Peddler - made one decision, one mistake, after being seduced by power greater than him. Sounds familiar doesn't it?

Of course there are a few key differences here:

Sorcerer is literally separated with his human self (soul perhaps??) that is trapped in Land of Shadows, while Chase's humanity seems to have been surpressed and/or muted by his Draconic Self. (or perhaps stolen with his soul by Hannibal, which is a popular theory about how exactly Roy Bean/Soup turned Chase.)

Chase's change is permanent. While Sorcerer situation is possible to fix - it literally happens in the finale.

BUT!!! no one actually knew it was possible to fix before. At least no one gave any indication that it was a known fact about Sorcerer's humanity still existing somewhere in Chaos Realm/Land of Shadows.

I'm pretty sure First/Norisu Clan believed that the Sorcerer was a human changed and twisted into an immortal by chaos. Impossible to kill and impossible to return to normal - that's why he was imprisoned. To keep him contained.

I mean, couldn't First Ninja, after capturing The Sorcerer, try to get his human self from the Land of Shadows himself, if he knew? After all he had access to a Chaos Ball! But he didn't know there was anything to be recovered, that the Sorcerer could be actually unmade just by reuniting him with his human half.

(At least thats my personal HC, but im pretty sure the canon show just retconned/fumbled a bit the whole Sorcerer resolution lol.)

SO just imagine. First learns about Chase's past. And he is freaking aghast. Here is another twisted by evil, but while he and his brothers failed to save those changed that they first encountered (the 'killed first stanked monsters' theory tie in!), they managed to save those that came after. And if First could, he would have tried to save The Sorcerer, no matter how much he hates him. But... Chase is different. There is still something of humanity left in him. Perhaps he can save Chase.

And from Chase's pov? He sees how Ninja saved Stanked people, and he doesn't even consider those situations as similar to his. Sure, people are turned into monsters, but he was turned into a monster by his own choice, there is nothing to save him from. (Isn't there?)

But he watches as First releases those people from the clutches of chaos, watches as he tries so hard to save them... And maybe it makes him yearn, that someone tried just a little bit harder to save the 'him' before he made that choice.

And if First cages Chase and says: "I want to help you. To Cure you." It will certainly enrage Chase - because who does this man think he is, tryin to contain and cure THE Heylin Prince of Darkness, like he is some halpless trapped commoner??? He came to be long before this man's Clan existed and he will be there long after this man will become dust.

But also... maybe deep deep deep inside, Chase is... confused? and pleased? - that someone like Fist Ninja grew to care enough for him to try and save him, even if there is nothing to be saved.

So they would be at this standstill, where First is trying to help a cause that isnt quite possible to fix, and Chase is... well, being Chase.

But, yeah, certainly another amazing thought process from you Anon <3, I've been trying to answer this ask for so long, because every time i start to write i get overcome with emotions about those scenarios like...damn. It's funny, but also the possible drama of all of this... hnnnfgggg

#que? #ninja showdown #chase young #first ninja #my immortal soul #this is one of the asks that pushed me to try and write for NS/MIS because DAMN i want some of those ideas in actual fanfiction... #making notes for my Hidden Chapter AU... maybe i will write an one-shot xD

[vaguely-concerned]

I wanted to write out a more condensed version of the Garashir thoughts I accumulated through my read of a stitch in time, because it really is driving me slightly nuts. so here we go!

I think my basic takeaway is something like: if you look at what's actually on the page as dialogue and not just the story garak tells himself internally of what has happened between them (which is basically 'I've fucked up somehow and I don't know how or why but something's broken here and I messed it up; I have nothing left of interest to offer him', pretty clearly going over it in his head like he would trying to figure out what he did wrong when tain locked him in a closet as a child), you kind of get the feeling that julian doesn't know what to do with the way garak flinches away from him whenever he tries to get closer or offer help. (which like. not for nothing but that's actually the dynamic between garak and mila too, but with garak's role switched to the mostly-resigned seeker of contact rather than the flincher-away. we all know garak’s daddy issues but I think the mommy issues at work are doing some gulf stream shit under the surface as well lol.) so julian starts hesitating in seeking out contact in the first place, nevermind asking him for anything more when garak's also clearly falling apart mentally and seems unreachable in the first place. and Julian also doesn't want to mess this up and make something already fraught and painful even worse; he still wants to help! he always wants to help, that’s just who he is, he keeps trying through the whole book. and when garak mostly-gently but reflexively and firmly rebuffs him each time he tries… after a while it seems like he doesn't think he's welcome, or that he's imposing and garak doesn't really want him there — that he's just humoring him or something when he does let him in, just like garak was so afraid palandine was doing with him in the beginning. it’s only in the final scene between them that garak invites him in and asks for help on his own initiative. 

“I’m pleased you stopped by”/”No, you’re not,” he said quietly. ‘I really won’t take up any more of your time’. “You see, this is so difficult, Garak. I know what a private person you are, and how you detest people meddling in your affairs….”. “Your holosuite program. The one that allows me to visit the traumas of my childhood.”/“I hesitate to suggest this, remembering how you reacted the last time … but, yes, I feel it could make a difference,” the Doctor gamely admitted. (Julian I love you so much. Eternal optimist hours. Keep it up it’s going to get you spectacularly laid if you just get on that shuttle to Cardassia.) All these moments do not read to me as someone who has no interest in continuing or deepening this relationship (maybe the opposite, in fact), it gives me more the sense of someone who feels he keeps putting his foot in his mouth and making the damage worse no matter what he tries, and not knowing what else to do but to back off to save them both more pain. (he also needs help and support, but he’s not going to go ask it of someone who’s clearly in no position to give it (on account of visibly falling apart even more than usual). And also because the good doctor is such a hypocrite lol ‘of course you’re worth asking for and receiving help!! I’m just fine tho don’t worry about me *light is slowly dying in his eyes behind the smile as the seasons go on*’. Stiff upper lip to the point of psychological breakdown-off (cross-cultural, competitive))  

and the most painful thing to me is that after their disastrous tea party in garak’s shop, at the very least, garak clearly realizes he's hurting julian by keeping him out (But as to the question of which group suffers the most…), and he desperately wants to stop hurting him but he just doesn't know how!!! he's never learned how to close the distance! he's been locked completely into himself by the way tain shaped him and doesn't know how to get out of the closet so to speak yet! ('...am I not. *supposed* to pretend to be functional and have no needs. is that not like. my entire job interpersonally. I am confused.') it’s something Tolan already observes in him and grieves over when he comes home from Bamarren, and the years since have uh not helped with that particular problem lol. for all he longs for it, intimacy is like a hot stove to him; he can’t help but reach out, and he can’t help but flinch away when he actually comes into contact with it. almost the worst part is that I think Julian can tell some of that too and sort of understands it/doesn't hold it against him, and it just makes it even sadder, somehow. they both move so carefully around each other through this, because even in the middle of all that they really do try to be kind to each other the best they know how and it fucks me up so bad. which makes it even crazier and more touching that all of asit is basically garak processing his shit until he can get to the last line honestly — 'You're always welcome, Doctor'. he pulled a full lizardly mr darcy in the post-apocalypse here, he got around to starting to fix himself at least partly to be in a place where he could be able to meet Julian in the ways he needs if he wants that from him. And that drives me utterly insane thanks for asking!!! WILD BOOK COMPLETELY UNHINGED 300+ PAGE DECLARATION OF LOVE AND INTIMACY WHAT THE ACTUAL HELL

(this post started life as a tag ramble under @spocks-kaathyra‘s wonderful post about Julian’s side of it over here, but — as I’m sure you'll be astonished to learn at this point — I found I somehow had even more things to say, my neurons boileth over perpetually and it seems I just have to live with that)

#garashir #star trek #star trek ds9 #a stitch in time #asit #ds9 #julian bashir #elim garak #ds9 meta #I suspect I will have to write fiction about it to completely exorcise this particular hell from my mind (that is often the way for me) #but at least I can let out some steam to lower the pressure within my skull in the meantime lol

[fan-kingdoms]

god i wish we had gotten more of twelve with river song. he just meshes so well with her and since their time streams are finally (almost) synced up you don’t feel the imbalance of maturity/knowledge that you get in a lot of eleven’s time with her, and less general timeline “where are they right now what the fuck is happening” fuckery to sort through. just a husband and wife who have lived so much together and know it’s coming to an end very soon so they have to relish it (even if river doesn’t have the knowledge of her own death the way the doctor does, she knows it’s almost over because her diary is running out of pages). and i love watching this older, less theatrical, more rough-around-the-edges doctor with her because it develops their dynamic and the passage of time for the doctor so well. he's not eleven, trying to hide the pain and damage anymore. he doesn't spin off lies and deflections. he wears the hurt and is comfortable in it, and river is there to bring the joy and wonder out. they just have a more mature, beautiful relationship to me.

more thoughts and elaboration under the cut bc i care for your dash <3

twelve and river were such a delight to watch because (this is getting into hot take territory here sorry) once capaldi took over from matt smith, the show basically gave up on the whole “the doctor is very attractive and all the women want him” narrative that it pushed for eleven. of course it was there with ten but i think it got Egregious with eleven. moffat really wanted us to believe matt smith was the hottest man in the universe (and he’s not unattractive! i admit i thought he was attractive when i first watched doctor who years and years ago! the writing was just over the top with it!) twelve is not some young whimsical prettyboy anymore— he’s abrasive, blunt, and old. the show doesn’t treat him like he’s supposed to be attractive, which makes him and river’s relationship feel so real.

first off i want to point out that river is still very much attracted to the doctor in his new body which was so exciting for me because how often to we get to see romance and desire and (sexually) intimate relationships in people past the age of 35??? hardly ever! how often do we see a beautiful woman expressing desire for a man that’s not young or conventionally handsome NOT because she has ulterior motives or we’re supposed to believe he’s actually the sexiest man alive but because she simply loves him? how often do we see relationships where no matter how much change they go through, even when one of them has turned into an entirely different person (figuratively or literally), the love stays steady and unchanged? especially when these changes involve aging? there isn’t nearly enough. and seeing it is kind of healing for me, just a reminder that you can have love and intimacy and passion even when you’re not “young and beautiful” anymore

twelve and river’s relationship is just charged with so much shared experience and trust and i wish we had gotten to see more of it. in conclusion i want a special that recaps the 24 years on darillium thank you and goodbye

#they had twenty four years… #all that time to just live and be husband and wife #all that time for her to learn all the ins and outs of the new him #and all the ways for him to work through how he can express love in the new body #as twelve rather than eleven #and getting to see that she loves him just the same in every form #idk i’ve been thinking a lot about aging lately #i know im young but i have a bit of a fear of it because of how society pushes the whole ‘past your prime’ narrative #especially for women who are taught that they lose value once their ‘youth and beauty’ fades #like i said seeing relationships like these is healing #doctor who #twelfth doctor #river song #the husbands of river song

[maybeitsalivescribbles]

Sicktember 23, 13. Anxious Stomach (TTD)

(Same Hero and Villain than here and here, but you'll be fine if you'll only read this one.)

Hero sighed, squared their holders, preparing themself to go into the training room where Superhero waited. It was the end of the day, and they hadn’t eaten a thing. At the morning, they’d stared at their breakfast as if they could have been fed by the simple vision of their cereal bowl. Former Villain had seen them and wrinkled their nose in disgust over their sixth cup of coffee.

“No wonder you can’t best me if you casually consume this,” they’d declared.

“I have bested you,” had grumbled Hero, looking at a spoonful of milk and crunchy bits without touching it. “You have reformed and we are roommates.”

“I don’t see your point. It proves that I was successful at invading your lair. Can you even best me at the killing of countless living organisms in your own flat ?”

“Cleaning. You mean cleaning.”

Villain had shrugged:

“You lack panache in the morning.”

Well, maybe they did. Unlike some smug jerk, they had a job and they knew exactly what was going to happen. After a whole day of patrolling, they were going to meet Superhero like every month. And they couldn’t eat.

Lunch was the same. They’d stared at a bar and at a bakery, but the simple idea of actually chewing something made them sick. The knot that was their stomach refused to untie, so they’d spent the day eating nothing but coffee. Which was, of course, a terrible idea. Training with Superhero was at best exhausting, even under normal conditions. They opened the door, looked at their mentor who looked so tall, so fierce, so unbeatable, and something in them snapped. They couldn’t. Not today.

“I’m sorry, Superhero,” they began nervously. “Can...can we postpone this ?”

“Why is that ?”

“I – I guess I’m a bit sick.”

Superhero stared at them with cold, unimpressed eyes:

“I see you have no trouble standing up, though. May I remind you, we at the agency are not your babysitters. We are your employers. Does crime rest, Hero ? Will villains let you have a nice break if you ask politely ?”

The one I have at home would, thought Hero, and they bit their tongue to stay silent about it.

“We are worried about you, Hero. Very worried. Face me.”

“Why ?” they asked, resignedly preparing themself.

Barely looking at them, Superhero threw a large energy beam in their direction. Hero rolled over and dodged dutifully.

“We’re looking at your monthly results and they are not satisfying. In fact, if you keep on like this, you’re going to find yourself at the bottom of the list.”

“I don’t understand. I thought I was improving ! I made very little property damage this month.”

“You’ve been called for twenty-six incidents. I only see one arrest.”

“Ah yes, I couldn’t prevent it.”

“The incidents ?”

“The arrest. That guy had to be stopped.”

“What about the others ?”

“I could manage. I’m working with Social Service people, so I’ve learned one thing or two about deescalation.”

“You mean you’ve let the culprits go free.”

A larger energy beam invaded the room; this time they had to jump very high to avoid it. Once back on both their feet, they felt their heart beating way too fast. They had to rest their back against the wall for a moment. Their stomach had hurt all day, but it was dangerously grumbling now. How calm and nonchalant Superhero looked next to them, how cool his voice was when he softly said:

“Sloppy. Slow. Lazy.”

“I’ve brought down Villain !” they protested. “Forgive me but it seems like a big victory.”

“If you’d done that, yes. But are you sure of it ? Maybe they’re just biding their time. Maybe they just wait for you to reveal the agency’s secrets. Are you strong enough to beat them ?”

Hero had no time to move. In a flash, their mentor was right in front of them, a hand wrapped around their throat. He didn't squeeze. He didn't need to.

“We doubt it,” he gently said. “We doubt it very much. To be clear, we won’t be sure about Villain’s status until they are still breathing. Am I clear ?”

“Crystal,” answered Hero, their voice weak.

They collapsed.

Hero gently pushed the door of their flat, with a hand that had no strength left. His return wasn’t unnoticed; darkness seemed to surround the spot they were in. At the same time, a long, thin silhouette loomed over them, with cold eyes and no smile.

“ So you’ve come to my lair, Hero,” declared Villain. “You shall be spared if you’re ready to pay the price.”

Hero sighed and put their shopping bag on a chair nearby.

“ Yeah, yeah, I’ve got your batteries.”

They shook their head while Villain rummaged through the bag and found their prey. Once they retrieved the small package, they threw back their head and gave their usual booming, evil laugh:

“The power is mine ! Miiine !”

Hero gently rubbed their forehead and tiredly asked:

“It’s for your Gameboy, right ?”

“Yeah. Old-fashioned you might say, but I am a person of refined taste.”

“ Uh-uh. Sure.”

They had no energy left for a more biting retort. All they thought about was collapsing into their bed. Villain called them back, though:

“Wait, o my nemesis ! One last ordeal for you.”

Hero stopped. Hero rolled their eyes. Hero turned back and stared at them. They watched them trotting toward the fridge, pulling out a blender container full of a white, smooth, thick liquid. Hero eyed at it suspiciously.

“What is that thing ?”

“To my knowledge, it is called a smoothie. Soy milk, coconut, pineapple and lemon.”

They opened the lid. It smelled...good. More than that, actually. Hero’s stomach grumbled.

“Can I have a sip if I do the dishes ?”

They expected to be soundly rebuffed, but Villain rolled their eyes and put a large glass before them.

“It’s your ordeal, isn’t it ? Drink it up, idiot. I’ve made it for you.”

“...Oh.”

Hero tried it. Their stomach begrudgingly accepted it.

“Again, my dastardly plan was successful,” said Villain, watching their nemesis emptying the blender glass by glass with satisfaction. “And now, since you’ve foolishly proposed, you shall do the dishes and – what ?”

The last word was squeaked in surprise. Hero had stood up, their face emotionless, and had thrown their arms around them. Villain froze and frowned in their confusion.

“I’m uh – not sure what is happening here,” they said.

“To my knowledge, it is called a hug.”

“That I’ve figured. What I lack is...context ?”

“Yep,” sighed Hero. “We need to talk.”

*

Back to These Two Dorks masterlist.

Or to Hero x Villain Masterlist.

#sicktember #sicktember 2023 #villain and hero #hero villain community #writeblr #writers on tumblr #original fiction #my writing #writing snippet #writing drabble #writing dialogue #these two dorks #hero and villain #heroes and villains #hero x villain

[idkmanwtfishumanityanymore]

Lee HC’s! (In order of appearance bc the image-uploading is being weird- sorry for the shit formatting!)

Lee!Sun:

First of all, we shall list what kind of lee he is; Easily flustered.

Sunny obviously wheezes, but he wheezes the most if his rays are being targeted.

Sunny cannot say the t-word for the life of him when he’s in a lee!mood, but can easily say it when actual tkls aren’t involved. Worst spot is his wrists, lightly tracing his wrist will kill the poor guy- (but he will be very happy despite his whines of protest.)

Whenever Earth goes to play with his rays, the reason he always sounds so startled, is because he’s trying not to laugh.

Sun is less of a wriggler, and more of a bargainer, opting to try and talk his way out of being wrecked instead of actually trying to escape.

Lee!Moon:

Moon is the kind of lee who insists they’re not ticklish somewhere, only for it to be like- one of their worst spots.

Speaking of worst spots, His knees. His knees, are just death. He is rendered helpless the second you go for his knees.

Moon is more of a ler than a lee usually, but will very embarrassedly ask Sun, Earth, Or Solar for tkls when he’s in a lee!mood, he would go to Lunar only if he needs the kind of tkls that completely fry your brain, like if he’s overthinking about his past self or something similar.

Definitely more of a wriggler than Sun- he will fight for his LIFE (even if he’s the one who asked for tkls.)

Inspired by a certain fic, (You know who you are /pos) A good way to comfort or calm him is light tkls on the hand, typically Sun or Earth does this, but Solar has been allowed to do so a couple times.

Lee!Earth:

Probably the most open lee of the group- like, she can directly ask for tkls without using any code words or substitutes, even in a really bad Lee!mood- (the others envy her bravery)

Worst spot is her hips, but a close second is the back of her neck, under her mountain of hair.

Will go to anyone she trusts for tkls, but mainly opts to ask Monty, Sun, Moon, Lunar and Solar, as she’s closest with them.

Has thought about asking Moon or Solar to add a cropped turtleneck to her list of outfits, but is a little hesitant. (not too cropped, like- right where the ribs end.)

Very fond of tkls in general, as it’s a very good way to strengthen bonds with those you love. Lee!Lunar:

One of the worst wrigglers of the entire celestial family, no matter what-

Has difficulty saying the t-word when in a lee!mood, but it’s not impossible for him.

Has very likely been the Guinea pig for Gemini (Castor and Pollux) when they were curious about tkls, Pollux was probably the one to bring it up. (Before all uh. The recent happenings, of course.)

Worst spot is probably his tummy, (wow so creative/j) but a very close second is the joints of his arms.

Super feather-sensitive because I say so.

Cheer up tkls are his kryptonite, but they don’t Always work-

Has been tkld by Jack before, because he made the mistake of mentioning the word while Jack was nearby- (wasn’t as bad as he expected, kinda fun actually.) Lee!Blood-Twins:

More Ler’s than Lee’s, but The less crazy one, (I personally call this one HarvestMoon/Harvest) typically has more lee!moods than the more feral one (Normal ol BloodMoon)

Now these two, THEY are THE WORST wrigglers in the celestial family, with Lunar being a very, VERY close second.

They will bite and claw whoever is tklng them, no matter who it is- they will cause damage- it is inevitable- you’re signing your death certificate if you try to get them-

Like Sun, they CANNOT say the T-word, but like. Ever- it doesn’t matter what context the situation has, they’re going to substitute the word- the t-word hurts their pride and ego, and they refuse to let that happen. If they do actually say the t-word, it is very much an accident that they will recall whenever they try to sleep- and curl up into a flustered little ball of growls.

They pretend to hate tkls, but due to how rare it is that they get any kind of positive touch, they absolutely secretly adore it.

Obviously their worst spot is the left underarm, where that weak point is, (THAT CANONICALLY IS TKLISH‼️) but a close second is their tummy, because of how doglike they act sometimes.

Playing off the last one, yes. Yes they kick like a puppy when someone tkls their tummy. It is incredibly embarrassing for them, though, as they cannot control it, and will very likely growl the whole time-

They do indeed have a “sweet spot” like a dog, but I’m just gonna let y’all try and guess where it is <3 (I’m evil I know.). Lee!Eclipse:

OH MY FUCKING GOD. Literally the biggest goddamn lee of the celestial family it’s not even funny.

He is a walking death-spot, but his absolute worst spot is most definitely the middle of his back, he goes LIMP immediately.

Ridiculously touch-starved, so he’s very likely to just melt into any tkls he’s given. (Sometimes even if the intent is malicious-)

Like Sun, he wheezes, but (because I say so) he will occasionally let out a catlike giggle or squeak, which he’s very flustered by.

HE CANNOT EVEN USE SUBSTITUTES FOR THE T-WORD. He just has to hint around without mentioning anything even slightly similar to the dreaded t-word and pray that whoever he’s trying to get tkls from catches his drift.

He’s the most likely to get clingy if he’s been thoroughly wrecked, it doesn’t matter who did it, he’s gonna cling to them and refuse to let go- such a pathetic wet cat of a man. Lee!Solar:

Yeah, like Earth, he’s also a pretty calm lee (not open about it though-)

Solar can say the t-word, without substitutes, no matter what, and it’s VERY RARE for him to use a substitute.

Actually quite fond of “go the fuck to sleep/take a break” tkls. (Sometimes purposefully stays up too late working on something to provoke the others (Mainly Moon and Spaniard (the computer) into tklng him-)

Not much of a wriggler or a bargainer, but definitely a whiner- he will protest so damn much despite visibly enjoying the tkls.

Solar’s worst spot is like, right above his hips. He will definitely hiccup if you go for that.

Lee!KC:

Used to be more of a ler before he went all hippy mode (/pos) but now leans more towards being a lee.

Like Moon, his worst spot is his knees, but back when he had his mindscape form, it was definitely his paws- 100%. (Yes KC used to have paws, I’m still reeling myself in after nearly a year.)

more of a soft giggler, with very few loud noises like squeals or shrieks.

He can say the t-word sometimes, but usually has to use substitutes. Lee!ForkFace:

One of the more ler-learning members of the group, but definitely still has lee!moods.

whenever Forky decides to have their rays, that’s usually how you can tell they’re in a lee!mood, as their rays are quite tklish but not as much as Sun’s or any of the other ray-possessors.

Has the quietest giggles of the whole group, mainly because they rarely talk- but definitely has moments when they go from quiet, rapid breathing to simulate giggling, to a sudden screech-

Oddly enough, their worst spot is their lower-arm, a close second would be their neck.

a little more embarrassed about tkls than you’d think, especially because it’s more difficult to ask for them when they don’t feel like talking.

Earth and Foxy are the people they mainly go to for tkls, Earth is the one who taught them what it is, actually! Lee!JackOMoon:

Puppy brained little goober who barely understands the concept of tkls, had to research it one day because he mistook Solar wrecking Lunar (for calling him a twink) as violence, and tried to mutilate Solar-

Doesn’t understand why he suddenly feels an urge to be tkld, but usually goes to Solar, Lunar or surprisingly ForkFace to ask about it.

Can say the t-word in any context, as he doesn’t really understand anything that he feels when in a lee!mood.

Has tried to tkl himself, was very confused when it didn’t cause the same sensation as when someone else does.

Like BloodMoon (and Harvest,) Jack’s puppy brain causes him to kick when someone gets his tummy.

The second boldest lee of the group, right behind Earth, as he can’t feel embarrassment (not yet anyway- the day he gains embarrassment, he will be in the same boat as Eclipse in terms of asking for tkls-). Lee!Ruin:

3rd most open lee of the group, very capable of just asking for tkls without substitutes.

Despite being able to say the t-word, he will definitely Hesitate to ask for tkls- he’s very self conscious the poor lad.

Ruin is more of a “go limp and whine” kind of lee, but doesn’t deny that he likes tkls.

if he’s unable to bring himself to ask for tkls, he will pout and whine like a toddler until someone catches on.

Like Eclipse, he’s a walking deathspot- AND THIS IS BY CHOICE, HE BUILT HIS OWN BODY, HE WIRED HIS SENSORS THIS WAY. (The others love to tease him about that, and the friendly teasing always just makes him super happy and feel like he’s not a burden or out of place <3) (I’ll add ler HC’s later- rn I have writers block💀)

#Sun and Moon Show tickles #TSAMs tk HC’s #Lee!Sun #Lee!Moon #Lee!Earth #Lee!Lunar #Lee!BloodMoon #(Lee!HarvestMoon) #Lee!Eclipse #Lee!Solar #Lee!KC #(Lee!KillCode) #Lee!ForkFace #Lee!JackO #(Lee!JackOMoon) #Lee!Ruin #Tickle headcanons #weird ass formatting sorry-

[theloganator101]

A scene that I believe showcases how Horikoshi is quick to sacrifice meaningful character moments for a cheap laugh is the faux interview with Mt. Lady.

By itself, the purpose for this scene I think could have been done more effectively instead of just pretending to be in front of a camera (and it feels annoying as hell when all it’s doing is reminding the viewers AGAIN who these characters are, in case you somehow forgot), but whatever. And we also get more material of Bakugou being insufferable (and Todoroki acting like a cardboard box by simply accepting Bakugou’s insults.)

And then we get to Izuku.

We get an inner monologue from him about finally showing his progress on his handling of Blackwhip. And even though it’s a tiny tendril, Izuku is clearly pleased with where he’s at, because now he can go up from here!

And does the scene push the idea that we are supposed to be proud of Midoriya on his hard work?

(Materializes through the screen and slaps your face) OF COURSE NOT YOU FUCKING FOOL!

Every single individual looks completely underwhelmed at what they just saw. Like they were expecting more. Like Midoriya was supposed to suddenly whip that exact giant ass black mass THAT NEARLY HURT/KILL HIS CLASSMATES and have it completely under control.

I can imagine a few of them feeling this way, but every single one of them? Horikoshi is just doing this to make Midoriya look bad. I absolutely refuse to believe there’s not a single character who would react differently (their ACTUAL characterization) to that.

Todoroki, who understands the struggle of balancing two quirks, and would probably feel compelled to help Midoriya out? Apparently not.

Uraraka, who was quick to praise Midoriya in anything in the past such as the quirk assessment test, and can plainly see how much pride he has getting a hold of a new dangerous quirk? And Iida, Midoriya’s other best friend? Does he clap his hands in the air like a seal and says, “Bravo!” to Izuku’s progress? Nope, they’re not allowed to feel that.

Tokoyami, who has another dark-based quirk and could relate to Midoriya’s struggle? Does he give a simple phrase of encouragement, or even think to himself, “Slowly, a new Brother of the Shadows will come to be.”? Why the hell would he possibly think that?

Does anyone else, such as Yaoyorozu, Shoji, Ojiro, or hell, even Hagakure, comment on that while not powerful, Midoriya’s ability on handling essentially two quirks is very impressive? Of course not. Instead of being funny, this scene comes off that no one actually supports Midoriya and it made me sad for him and how it assassinates pretty much most of Class 1-A’s characteristics, instead of allowing them to act naturally.

And the cherry on top? The one with the closing statement that is supposed to sum up what we the audience are supposed to feel? “Don’t be proud of something so weak.” By the one trick pony that has had his ONLY quirk for so long that he doesn’t appreciate LEGITIMATE progress. Fuckin little shitbird.

(Sighs tiredly) Hang on, gonna go watch the scene...

(One scene watch later)

... I want to kill, EVERYONE there for not supporting the kid for getting control over a quirk that caused so much damage!

Why aren't his friends cheering him on?

Why wasn't any of the adults proud of him?

Why is Izuku always the butt of these mean spirited jokes?

Why can't my son just be praised and feel proud for himself for once in his goddamn life?

#bnha critical #mha critical #izuku deserves better #hori is a bad writer #horikoshi why #midoriya deserves better #izuku deserves better friends #midoriya adoption when #poor izuku

[your-next-daydream]

Hi!

Can I request head canons with diavolo from obey me when his s/o doesn't think they have any part in ruling the devildom and it's *just* his kingdom? A s/o who doesn't want to be "queen/king of the devildom" and just wants to be his s/o? Doesn't want the title?

Yes, I absolutely can do this. I always liked the trope where it was royalty x I'm a royal but not necessarily. Now I do have to say I have quite a few ideas for this and I have gotten a request similar, so I'm going to combine them.

Diavolo x not so royal reader

Gender neutral 👍🏻

****************************

Him and nearly everyone else were kinda shocked you didn't want to share his title or glory with him.

He'd have to explain that isn't exactly possible you are royalty by partnership, but he does his absolute best to keep you out of most affairs.

You can't say no to the parties and balls though, he will not let you unless you really don't want to.

Still refers to you with royalty titles as terms of endearment.

He will ask you to attend council meetings since your presence is required. He just lets you sit beside him and hold his hand under the table when he isn't speaking.

Since you insisted on not being publicly announced as a royal he only had a tiny coronation with himself, the angels, and the brothers. Because he just wanted to see the matching crown upon your head. Who can deny him his cute wants?

He dances with you around the whole castle wether it's actual ball dancing or just dancing to what he calls "M/C's funny human music"

Barbatos constantly gets on both of your cases for either sneaking out or doing stuff not befit for royals.

His usual polite smile was very strained when he caught you and his lord having a paintball fight in the ballroom.

"do either of you want to explain what's going on here?"

You both came to a standstill hearing the butlers voice over your head sets. Peaking out from your hiding place you saw Barbatos by the door you swore was locked with his arms loosely crossed. Across the room from you, you could see Diavolo peaking his head out from under the staircase.

"Ah Barbatos yes I was simply testing the humans reflexes nothing more." Diavolo stood out from under the stairs swinging his paintball gun to rest on his shoulder. "Isn't that right my dear?"

You blinked at him for a couple of moments before standing as well clearing your throat. "Yes that is definitely what is going on at the moment. He wanted to make sure that I could respond quickly to physical things."

Raising a eyebrow Barbatos looked at you both knowingly. "Right of course that is what is happening, then do you want to explain why exactly you have chosen these small balls with paint in them? Instead of let's say small spells."

Sighing and taking his helmet off Diavolo looked at his butler knowing he'd been caught. "Alright we were just having a little bit of human worldly fun, we will clean the mess up that we have made and get back to our duties."

Barbatos turned to the door to walk out. "Oh no I will be cleaning the mess up myself," he snapped his fingers and all the mess started slowly disappearing. "Though you both will still be doing your duties just in separate offices instead of together like normal."

You huffed in annoyance. "Oh come on that's not fair!" You started removing your gear to hand to his out stretched hands as Diavolo was doing as well.

Placing a hand on your shoulder your beloved placed a kiss on your cheek. "No it is fair we caused some damages in our game and avoided important matters, I shall see you when we finish our tasks."

.

.

.

Meanwhile at the HOL

Lucifer sat at his desk smirking slightly. Because a few days prior both the demon Prince and the human had played a prank on him. Diavolo that morning had let it slip they'd having a paintball fight. "Well good keep Barbatos informed of matters that could hurt his master." He shrugged putting down his D.D.D letting out a chuckle.

.

.

.

Let me know if you liked it!

#obey me #imagine #one shot #oneshot #obey me shall we date #reader insert #x reader #diavolo obey me #obey me diavolo #diavolo x mc #diavolo #diavolo x reader #dia obey me #obey me x gn!mc #obey me x gender neutral reader #obey me x reader

[thedawningofthehour]

I really hope you are doing well.

Maybe sealed is not the right word, more like bottled, I think Donnie could have awakened his mystical abilities if he really tried. I don't see ninpo as the source of his power if not as an enhancer, in the sense that turtles have their abilities and what ninpo does is enhance them, almost like super saiyan, but with extra benefits, like creating weapons. Donnie has his own powers, but I think it has been established that mystic is pretty much conected to the soul which still contains the connection to his family, which is what Draxum's spell is there to suppress, after the incident with the mercenaries I was under the impression that even if Donnie manages to tap into his mystic abilities these would end up damaging him like a pipe with too much pressure.

To be honest, before finishing book 2, you said book 3 would be the shortest, which led me and others to assume you meant it would be the shortest in the series, THEN you said it would be shorter than book 2, which didn't contradict our earlier idea, I'm trying to find the posts, but Tumblr post search will be danm. Not to mention that every time I mentioned it you said nothing!!! .... 30 chapters.... * Goes to cry in a corner *

I have a theory that a lot of people find that when a fic is going to be pretty angsty these wait until it's complete to read it, rip off the band-aid in one go and all that, at least that's what I usually do, and I would do it with this fic if it weren't for the fact that I wouldn't be able to log in to the blog afterwards to avoid spoilers!

And I like your posts.

I checked my bank balance and it turns out I have more money than I thought so the urge to die isn't quite so immediate.

The reason the power spike hurt him so badly was because he overextended himself. He had no framework to put his ability into, no sense of how much he could control or even the presence of mind to know he needed to. In canon he knew roughly what was happening and had his brothers around to help him regulate, plus he knew he had to go rescue his dads afterwards and would need his energy. Here, he had no thought other than 'keep these creeps away.' The possibility of what he was feeling welling up being his own mystic powers didn't occur to him because Gale was pretty certain he didn't have any powers. And, you know, he'd been tased and shit.

But it is true that his powers are stronger when he's with his family, and even though he sees Cass as such it really is not the same. Under normal circumstances Draxum's expertise would actually be very helpful in developing his powers-but Draxum joined them in canon, so they had access to his help there too.

All that said, Draxum isn't too terribly bothered by this. He wanted Donnie for his brain, not for Hamato family magic or any potential mystical ability. He started training Gale is the mystics because he was legitimately curious what he could do, (plus it's deffo not healthy to suppress your powers if you do have them-one of the reasons Bella lived with her uncle on and off throughout her childhood) but he really has no plans to utilize his abilities. Galois is more useful to him in the lab than on the battlefield, and any potential combat use would have to be pretty fucking spectacular to justify the risk of that brain being damaged. (plus, you know, that's his son now)

I'm going to be honest, I hate it when people do that. And I don't get it. I'm disappointed when I come onto a fic that's already been completed; half the fun of fandom is interacting with creators and other readers and going absolutely mental for weeks at a time. You're missing out on the experience when you just hop on at the end.

And it just feels very entitled to me? Like, fanworks are made to be interacted with. There are exceptions, of course, but in general the people who wait until a fic is finished aren't interacting with the story as it was meant to, if at all. Like, if I hadn't gotten any interaction with doth, I would have dropped it. It took quite a while for it to pick up any meaningful interaction at all, and honestly the only reason I stuck it out that long was because I had a bunch of the story already written. If I had been writing one or two chapters at a time back then, I would have gotten discouraged and quit. If everyone waited until the end to bother reading, then they wouldn't have any completed longfics to read. Fanfiction isn't paid, we have no incentive to keep going if we're just screaming into the void.

Sorry, that came out really angry. I'm not saying people have to interaction with every fanwork they come across; god knows I don't comment on everything I read. (I am trying to be better about this though) I just had a bad experience with people not reading the tags/author's notes on doth and thinking it was completed and then bitching at me for 'tricking' them into reading an unfinished fic. Honestly, it's kind of degrading to work on something for months, (a year and a half at this point) and then have people want to consume it all at once and then leave. Like bro. You're gonna get indigestion.

#doth asks

[staratdawn]

I thought about au with blind Regulus and deaf Sirius. It is not congenital, most likely acquired after 5 years of Sirius and 4 years of Regulus at Hogwarts. Their mother's unsuccessful punishment spell hit both brothers. Total blindness forever for Regulus, too much damage to do anything about it, even magic is powerless. Sirius rolled down the stairs, hitting his head on all corners, causing serious damage to the head, including the auditory cortex. The predictions of the Black' personal doctor were positive, of course, no one was going to upset them. But the hearing does not return to Sirius in a year or two.

And this difficult for them, almost impossible to make contact, despair splashes, their psycho-emotional state is not just a light wind, it's a fucking storm, like, they never can be ok again. They need more than a one year to talk to each other again. It's been hard before, don't think they don't love each other, we all know true, and yet their family didn't anticipate the possibility of healthy communication among its members. But now it takes a lot more effort to talk. Sirius can't hear, but he can speak. Regulus can speak and hear, but cannot see. So, Sirius speaks. Sometimes Regulus answers and Sirius lip-reads, it gets better and better with the years but never perfect the meaning of some phrases is inevitably lost, but that's something they can at least handle. Sometimes Regulus writes — he remembers good how it's done, but still a little awkward, not nearly as perfect as it used to be, and yet understandable enough. They learn to use it more often. Talk more often. It is important for them not to lose connect. They seem to have lost it all their lives and only learned to fix it when it was too fucking late.This was exactly the moment when Sirius runs away from home and starts living with James. And Regulus needs time, his parents are careful with him, they no longer try to be as cruel as they used to be, mostly just words, and over the years he managed to develop a good immunity, they do not hurt as much as they could. Sirius hates himself for not being able to take Regulus. They still didn't talk back then, it was so difficult for them and Sirius couldn't just ask Regulus to come with him, he didn't believe he could protect him and felt incredibly vulnerable. But he offers in a year and Regulus agrees.

When they get back to Hogwarts, things clearly change. Honestly, even too much. Regulus has a specially trained guide dog, this is a collie named Lyra (actually, in honor of the constellation, but he did not tell anyone about it except Pandora), she is big, soft and fluffy, and she is also smart and really very strong helps him. He also has a cane inlaid with many spells, so he knows Hogwarts quite well, much better than the first years (which is a dubious achievement, but nonetheless).

Sirius is trying to cope with his condition, mostly not really knowing what to do. I'm thinking of a spell he might have found one day to help take notes, literally translate the words spoken by the professor into text (I know there's nothing like that in canon, but it would be fair if there was, and generally, I just don't care about canon, I REALLY don't care, it's there because I made it up right now). He carries around a notepad and pen so that people can write what they want to say to him, but he also often understands what they are saying by watching their lips move. He can also talk, but he can't hear himself, so it's often very loud/very quiet, he prefers to write, but in the company of marauders, he doesn't care if he seems stupid or awkward.

I think Regulus, even after losing his sight, plays the piano, it is important for him to hear and feel the keys under his fingers, it grounds him, calms him down, makes him feel whole. Sometimes it is unbearable, but more often it gets easier than worse. (As he gets older, there are days when his hands shake too much and he can't find the right keys. Then Lily kisses his temple and James puts his hands over Regulus', they play slowly, making Regulus feel more, feel integrity, pushing the keys until he's finally okay)

And sometimes their duet with Sirius is also heartbreaking. Sirius can't hear but can guide his hands, he just feels, he has enough feeling, he doesn't really like to play. He desperately wants to help Regulus. And he sees the keys, he may be his eyes.

So, speaking of marauders. Honestly, James was the first to know. I think Sirius ran away to him somewhere in the middle of summer vacation, so James went to Hogwarts already fluent in sign language and actively continuing his studies. They met Peter during that time, so he definitely found out, even if Sirius didn't want to show it, and sign language was incredibly difficult for Peter, but he tried!! (damn, he tries so hard to be tactful, I just know it, he doesn't want to offend him, he doesn't even speak in his presence, but mostly writes on a notepad to make Sirius comfortable!!!)

Remus only finds out at Hogwarts, not because Sirius doesn't want to tell him, but because Sirius feels bad and doesn't want to appear weak in front of his boyfriend, ok. In this universe, there is no prank, so they are really happy together, but Sirius's disability is very difficult, and he wants to withdraw into himself and never share his burden with anyone. But he still has to do it when they meet on the train, and it's, well, never been easy, ok? Sirius also believes that he is much more fortunate than Regulus and feels guilty because people surround him with care, it seems to him that he does not deserve it. 

I also think that Remus KNOWS sign language very well (I headcanon him with a large family, several younger and one older sister, I think one of his sisters is deaf so he had to learn sign language for her, I can talk about his sisters, in case anyone is wondering, I just love the concept of a big family where Remus is the middle child, and he is the only wizard, except for Lyall, if we are not talking about the fact that Pandora could be his sister. He also suffers from lycanthropy, and I think one of his sisters might, but that's another TALK....but, you know, he'll never be alone and his family is, well, a little wolf-family-pack. ..okay, just let me know if anyone is interested, this isn't even about Remus, I should fucking shut up) so that makes things a little easier? Except that Sirius himself needs time to learn sign language, but it's absolutely in his best interest, so he's trying so hard. Remus really tries to take care of him, he shares his notes with him before Sirius finds that spell (he's never done this before and it was never needed, but now Sirius is so grateful) and he's definitely taking the translator's position a bit with people who do not know sign language, he really is not a burden, because Sirius will never be a burden for him. Never.

And also I think that Regulus has a spell that makes the book read itself, which makes life easier, magic is beautiful. And he definitely learns to read braille later, but I don't think it's very common among wizards (he probably isn't at all. but over time his life is so closely intertwined with muggle world, he can't ignore it)

Let's talk about girls! I like to think that Lily was fluent in sign language before that, as if she seems like someone who will know it, or at least try to learn it. Mary and Marlene absolutely don't know but they are really good friends so they try. And Marlene is in love with being able to write constant notes in a notebook (gives atmosphere. She puts Sirius notes between textbooks, very, very many notes in a day, they become less over time, but she was never going to throw constant gossip with her bestfriend, thanks, even deafness will not interfere with her). Mary also uses her notebook to write for Sirius when she wants to say something.

I also think that Lily absolutely cares about Regulus (platonically or romantically, your choice), but she doesn't know what she can do for him, she just goes with him all the time, almost seems to blend in with the Slytherins. She reads books to him aloud because he likes how soothing her voice sounds, he actually has an amazing memory, he quotes something from what he has read before or from what he heard from Lily.

Evan and Barty don't know how to act at first. But over time it gets easier. Like there's no problem putting things back where they belong so that Regulus can move around the room with ease, at which point they're very clean. They try to spend a lot of time with him, sometimes it's even annoying, he can say it, but honestly he is grateful.

(also Lyra is absolutely delighted with Barty and Pandora, when Regulus is in bed and she doesn't help him anymore, she often goes to Barty's to get her helping strokes)

Dorcas is so excited when she finds out about this, she is actually so mad at his family. One of her best friends will never fucking see anything else because of his family (Regulus never told them the reason but they know. They all know). She is very afraid of how unsafe he can be in his house, but she obviously does not show it, it would be inappropriate and not quite in her character. She tries to be tactful and act like nothing has changed. And she's also very supportive, actually, she's just not clingy like Barty and Evan, for example, she's just expressing help in the little things, I would say. Her help is usually silent, but also surprisingly eloquent.

I didn't say much about Pandora, I'm sorry. They have an amazingly cute duo and an interesting way of getting around, when Regulus assumes his animagus form, he is also blind, but he is literally cat, so she often carries him around in her arms to his destination. It's faster. Oh, and she was the one who helped him find the spell to read!!

Also, I think Sirius's hearing will start to recover at some point, but it will never be good enough, it's just... some sounds, more sounds than total silence. I didn't mention hearing aids before and I don't think they're common among wizards, but he'll definitely use them when they get out in muggle London and, well, it won't give him perfect hearing, but it's a lot better than nothing...

(little bonus: when Sirius wants to be kissed, but he doesn't want to write about it in a notebook or make gestures because it will upset the mood, he puts his finger on his lips or on his forehead or on his cheek, my boy just wants kisses. And he spreads his arms out to the side when he's waiting for a hug and doesn't want to initiate it first. when alone with Remus, sometimes he just reaches out his palms. Oh, and he claps his hands when he tries to get someone's attention. It's easier for him not to talk than to talk so he keeps the conversations to a minimum)

art: likeafunerall

#jegulus #marauders #regulily #jegulily #lily evans #james potter #regulus and pandora #regulus black #sirius black #remus lupin #wolfstar #blind regulus #deaf sirius #pandora lupin #mary macdonald #marlene mckinnon #regulus and dorcas #dorcas meadowes #sirius and marlene

[antianakin]

I found something really interesting when I was last on Wookiepedia. On the Legends page about the Dark Side, it mentioned a Master Shim, who wrote an analysis of the process one falls to the Dark Side. She also claimed that an individual who kills innocents under the influence of the Dark Side is incapable of being redeemed, and at most, they can only ever attempt to atone. Apparently, a member of Luke's New Jedi Order asked the lady's interactive holocron about. among other things, Anakin's fall to the Dark Side. Basically, Shim's judgement was that Anakin was not in any sense redeemed. What are your thoughts on this?

Thought number one is that this is Legends and should always be taken with a grain of salt anyway, so it is by no means what the original intent of Anakin's storyline was or how Lucas envisioned the worldbuilding to work.

Thought number two is that I made a whole post on how there are at least three separate definitions of redemption that you can utilize for Anakin, all of which are entirely valid. This person appears to be going for the one that kind-of amounts to "If you have done something you can never make amends for, you cannot achieve redemption." They're equating the Dark Side with things like murder and enslavement, and they're entirely right to do so. And they are then saying that these things the Dark Side is intrinsically tied up with are NOT redeemable sins. There's no making amends for murder and slavery, not really. Even if you choose to do better, even if you make different choices for the rest of your life afterwards, the damage is done and that stays with you forever.

And that does tend to lean towards where I PERSONALLY sit on the issue. Anakin can always choose to be selfless, he can always make better choices than he's made up until now, but it doesn't bring back the Jedi. It doesn't take away the time the clones spent under the influence of the chips and the things they were forced to do that they would never have chosen had their minds been their own. It doesn't take away that the Republic was turned into a fascist Empire. It doesn't undo the impact the Empire then had on the rest of the galaxy, like what we know happens to the Wookies or to Ilum or to Lothal or to Ryloth. Anakin will never be able to truly undo any of these things that he was instrumental in causing, so how can he find redemption for something he cannot actually change or fix?

But I don't think that the inability to find true full redemption should keep someone from ultimately still trying to do BETTER. Like yeah, nothing you do now will change anything for those people who are already dead or undo the trauma already inflicted, but it CAN change things for a lot of other people who will continue to be hurt if you stay your course. It's obviously still better to stop and work to do and be better than it is to just decide that your personal redemption is the only thing that matters and the only thing causing you to change. It was, ultimately, very helpful for Palpatine to be dead and for Luke to have survived. Both of those things will ultimately still help a lot of people in the future even though it does nothing to change all of the people Anakin's already spent over twenty years hurting.

That all being said, I do think the intent of the final scene in ROTJ is to tell us that Anakin WAS redeemed in a more theological way, that he was redeemed by Luke's love, that he was forgiven by the Force itself because he died doing something out of a more selfless love for his son, etc etc. His sins are all entirely absolved and forgiven because of his own sacrifice or Luke's, blah blah blah. When Howard Kazanjian, one of the producers of Star Wars, pushed back against the scene of Anakin standing next to Yoda and Obi-Wan as if he was an equal, this was Lucas's response: "Isn't that what your religion is all about?" I will say though that Lucas himself did not always stick to the same tune when discussing it. I've had people throw quotes at me where Lucas says Anakin is redeemed, but I've also seen at least one where Lucas says he's NOT. So even though I think that the point of the original scene IS to say he's redeemed now, wholly and completely, it doesn't mean Lucas always kept the exact same view on the issue.

So I think what I get out of that particular Legends story is that the author of that story had a different version of redemption than Lucas may have had, at least when he was making ROTJ. I'm not sure if the story itself supports this Master Shim's assertion on Anakin's redemption or not just given what you've told me about it, but if it does, we can make a pretty solid guess as to how that author defines redemption. If it doesn't, then it's just throwing out this alternative definition and, presumably, arguing against it in favor of something else.

And at this point, to each their own. I have my definition of redemption and my interpretation of Anakin's ability to achieve it. I'm going to stick to that and everyone else is welcome to stick to theirs. But I like this Master Shim and appreciate that she's not so willing to give Anakin a pass for his atrocities just because he might've been good once and made one better choice at the end of his life. I wish we saw more Star Wars characters like her, personally.

#star wars #anakin skywalker #anakin critical #anakin skywalker critical #master shim #legends #redemption

[yxstxrdrxxm]

My apologies for sending another ask so soon, but a new idea popped up. It is with gritted teeth that I give Boss a single W, if only bc I’m genuinely curious as to what he’d do in this scenario::

Friend! Darling gets in a small accident and sprains their ankle, making it difficult for them to walk home. What would Boss do if he were present?? Does he drive them home?? Would he offer to carry them or only consider it if Darling asks first?? Does he insist on entering Darling’s apartment to ensure they can cross the lobby and hallway?? Does he call/ visit them the next day to see if Darling still needs his help??

P.S. Also, how fucked is the person who bumped into Friend! Darling and caused the accident to begin with?? :3

P.P.S. Ykw fuck it, Boss still deserves an L. If he dares to tease Darling, there are only so many remarks he can make before Darling lightly kicks him or steps on his foot. And ofc that has to be when they’re wearing pointy-toed high heels…….rip she didn’t exert enough force to injure Boss but it still hurt like hell （＾∇＾）

It is with gritted teeth that I give Boss a single W

Ah yes, of course he would LMAOOOO

Anyways, I'll put this under a "read more". Have fun!

The accident was something no one could've seen, but for the man who lives his life that's focused on 'keeping eyes everywhere', you can definitely say that it was more or less planned from the very beginning.

Now, he's no heathen: he did not want her in harm's way. Actually, he'd rather have her be out of harm's way. But as he drove in with his car to see the damage and the accident, his face morphs to an hard to read expression. Opening the door as he parked somewhere safe, he walked towards his soon to be lover and helps her up.

It was ironic. He was a brute without her knowledge, but his hold is firm. Gentle, even.

The way back to his car is silent. Boss is never one to joke about such things happening, and even more with a friend?. Opening the door, he gently placed her on the seat next to the driver's and made sure her belongings were kept, this time closing the door to go around and head inside.

Placing the keys in its place, he turned it and the car came alight. Still, he stayed quiet, like he was processing what happened.

...

"What happened?"

It was a tone she'd never expect from him. He's usually one to be known as an asshole, but strangely, he was not like that. Dare she say, he was... Almost angry. For her sake.

"Who was it that hurt you?" he asked her again, adjusting his glasses. "Is it your date?"

No matter what she'd say, the man beside her was eerily calm. It was like he was simply timing how long it'd take until he'd blow, but to her surprise, he simply nodded and reached over to gently hand her something.

A small box. It had a ribbon tied, the color reflecting the vivid red of his heart.

"I'm sure that date of yours had planned on ditching," he explained, scoffing. "I've looked them up when you mentioned them. They hardly give gifts to the people they go on dates with, so consider this from me."

...

Turning his gaze back on the road, he began to start the car, driving them off to her place.

It was too fast. Too fast for them, even if they are friends. He didn't want to have her go someplace she didn't exactly knew, even if he wanted to. And even if that kept screaming at him, he remained clear of what he wanted to do.

Arriving at their destination took a bit, but when they did, he parked the car and got out, heading to her side to open the door. This time, he pauses, hesitant to take her without her consent.

A sliver of reality seems to hit him, and although he done that prior without her consent, he needed to know now.

Facing her, he remained quiet, but his hand moved to gently place by the side of her seat. Do you need me to carry you? He wanted to ask, but the way his eyes shone a bit of reluctance and his hand ever so wavering said all that's needed.

And quietly, he reached over to her legs, putting his arms under her body and gently lifted her up and outside, Closing the door behind him, he adjusted his grip.

"You can lean on my shoulder," he whispered to her, voice mellow and somber as he trudged on. "I'll treat you back at your place. Is your first aid kit filled as usual?"

...

"Of course it would. You're often meticulous with it, aren't you?"

Despite the peace, both knew this behavior was a rare sight. Boss was never kind to many, but to her, it felt like he was doing this to his past lover.

And in a way, he was. But this time, he had a mission to accomplish. Whether it be by force or by wits, all he desired was one thing.

Her heart.

And that began with dealing those that tried to hurt her in the first place, including 'him'.

#💌 ;; promising letter: one last call #💌 ;; fine print: ''boss'' #💌 ;; message delivery #💌 ;; from: ??? #💌 ;; to: ??? #yandere genshin impact #yandere genshin #yandere gi #genshin impact #genshin #gi #yandere #yandere writing #yandere text #male yandere

[codenamesazanka]

"not the actual person, but the inner child he saw inside" is the impression I have as well, and although I keep holding onto the hope that Horikoshi has enough respect for his characters that the actual saving of Shigaraki will be more complicated than that, I am fearing that there is no way around fixing everything by saving the crying child <3 now. Just a very lazy and easy solution to the problem. Which is incredibly frustrating after all that build-up and because I still think that Horikoshi is capable of coming up with something smarter. I used to be very excited to see how the saving Shigaraki plotline would unfold, but now I almost dread it. :(

I hold the same hope, anon! That the actual saving of Shigaraki will be more complicated than 'save the crying inner child', and Horikoshi is capable of coming up with something more interesting and satisfying. Shigaraki is a character he's had for several incarnations - through the 'Tenko' oneshot and more loosely 'Shiina' from Oumagadoki Zoo - and with the way he developed Shigaraki Tomura as a antagonist in parallel the whole time through the story, I hope it means he cares enough for the character of Shigaraki Tomura to give him a good conclusion.

(What a good conclusion is, of course, is up for debate, but for me, it means respecting the journey Shigaraki and addressing his pain not as a brainwashed victim whose issues were made up, or a dismissable tantrum-throwing child that needs to find Heroes cool again, but as someone who has a right to be angry with the world.)

It's been frustrating! I do admire Deku for wanting to save Shigaraki so badly. He's stubbornly committed to it, if nothing else; no matter what the OFA vestiges think, and no matter what Shigaraki tells him, Deku does not want to kill Shigaraki and be done with it. That's great! The problem is that it feels like the biggest obstacle right now is actually Deku himself, in that he refuses to see the man in front of him and is instead fixated on the vision of a crying child.

One can claim that 'Shigaraki Tomura' is not actually a real person, just a construct created by trauma and grooming/an evil spirit that has grown around a innocent child, so the only thing real to save is Shimura Tenko. But from Shigaraki's own experiences and words, he acknowledges that he's someone that's grown from Tenko - he remembers seeing Nana's picture in Chapter 270, but decides to reject that past dream; he names himself as both Shimura Tenko and Shigaraki Tomura in Chapter 379; and despite what the official translation says in Chapter 412, Shigaraki says clearly 'that boy became me'. Perhaps he's not as over his traumatic past as he claims, but that doesn't mean he's not the same person.

So it just downright insulting when Shigaraki is saying all this stuff, talking to Deku, asserting himself and his goals left and right - moreover, him having expressed lots of times his discontent with Heroes (all might’s smile is a farce, heroes swept pain under the rugs, the rot has built up, everything i’ve witness, the dream will end, doing this partly for the league) - only for Deku to just keep harping on 'The Crying Child': "Not actually going to listen and respond to you! You're just a hurt child deep down, I'll make you reveal your damage to me so I can save you." How patronizing. How dismissive.

And like, it'll be good for Deku too - that he has to acknowledge the cute, crying child is the same person as the actual Villain, with all his anger and dreams and humanity - he has to deal with both Shigaraki Tomura and Shimura Tenko. That's a more interesting challenge. Like, in Chapter 348, he failed with Toga because while he can relate to Toga's admiration, in the next breath he also basically said 'but you do it weird', and then lost Toga completely. He hasn't dealt with the whole of a person. He should probably do that with Shigaraki.

Thanks for the ask!

#nalslastworkingbraincell #asked #ask #answered #anon #anonymous

[thatgirl4815]

hi not to keep annoying you but i was in the ray tag (again lol) and i saw your post from before episode 6 aired about how damaged ray was gonna be after mew punching him... and so i rewatched pt 2 of episode 7 and mew tells ray he broke up with top, then says hes sorry for punching him but wanted to confront top on his own, and ray doesn't say a single thing the whole time. like he does not say he forgives mew or anything he just sits there.

i thought it was so interesting how little ray actually says that scene. like he sees his friends for the first time since his pain exploded at yo's then got into a car accident and they don't really talk about why ray did it or the impact it had on ray, they talk about everyone else. this compared to the scene before where ray and sand "talk about life's problems to heal their bodies and souls".

anyway now im wondering if we'll ever know the impact mew punching ray had on him, like is it sometime ray immediately forgave mew for, or is it something that he's not addressing but may bubble to the surface soon. or will ray not really sharing his feelings with them in general become a big issue (infamous episode 12 scene im terrified of you)

anyway i like that your meta posts are still interesting weeks later!

Hiiii! :) That’s a great observation. It also reminds me of how Ray reacts to his friends calling him a burden in Ep1; he’s visibly angry and then he just stalks away, leaving them to wonder what’s made him so upset (the lack of awareness from the members of this friend group is honestly insane). Ray’s friends have every opportunity to ask Ray if he is okay or question the source of his behavior, but they never do. Because they’re ignorant or because it makes them uncomfortable? I’d say it’s a mixture of both.

Ray seems to prefer burying all of his pain. It’s why he’s turned to alcohol as an outlet; rather than face the source of his suffering, he’d rather tuck it all away and distract himself. The only time we really see him open up about anything is in the bathtub flashback scene and a few scenes with Sand.

I think Ray is hurt about Mew lashing out, but I think he prefers to push that pain down too rather than risk losing Mew. Ray puts Mew on a pedestal, and he’s understandably terrified of scaring Mew off when Mew is the person he cherishes most. When it comes to Sand, Ray is more likely to lash out and say how he truly feels, which ironically seems like a healthier form of communication (despite it seeming to indicate that Ray isn’t as concerned about Sand’s feelings). I just wonder how long it will take Ray to acknowledge how much he values his ease of communication with Sand.

I would love to see Ray blow up at Mew or any of his friends about the way they treat him, though I’m not sure it’ll actually happen. I think all of their “burden” comments eat away at Ray, but I think he’s used to it by now. I would like to see the friend group come to the realization that Ray really does need help and they’ve been ignoring it this whole time. No one is entirely blameless here, and Ray’s blowup in Ep6 was a very clear sign that he needs help and is even a danger to himself…but of course these issues were swept under the rug yet again by everyone except for Sand.

#only friends #I feel like I say this all the time but even though they’re just college kids there are just some things that they are #intentionally ignoring #Ray’s drinking problem most of all #ask #only friends ask #only friends the series #sandray #raysand #RayMew #sand X ray #Ray X sand #only friends meta #only friends theories #only friends predictions #only friends episode 7

[astroyongie]

Sukuna nsfw a to z plsssss

A To Z Analysis: NSFW

Sukuna

(based on 6urse chart)

A = Aftercare 

he is surprisingly good at aftercare but without speaking it out. he is organized and gets things ready before the session so after it he just has to do whatever it takes without having to listen to you demanding it

B = Body part 

both on himself and his partner he likes the same thing. for exemple a nice well taken hair is something he appreciates, pail skin, well done nails and just that softness on the skin. Sukuna is a simple man

C = Cum (

he is usually very simple and he doesnt like the mess of cum. however when he is really excited he loves to release on the smaller back on his partner

D = Dirty secret 

you dont understand how many pictures and videos of you he has stored on his phone. from semi nudes to nudes to full videos of you in the most vulnerable ways, the pride he has that he was there in all of those

E = Experience

he has quite some experience but they come from previous relationships as he isnt the type to have one night stands

F = Favorite position

doggy style and mattress press. anything with his partner being turned around and upon his mercy

G = Goofy 

this man is far from goofy. he is full business and seriousness during the need, there's no place for humor

H = Hair 

he is well groomed actually, he takes care of his body and of his applearence even down there. he doesnt care much for his partner but he would prefer them to have groomed hair. not bare neither too fussy

I = Intimacy 

he will never admit it but intimacy Is important as he wont sleep with anyone unless he has some feelings at least for the person

J = Jack off

he does it often mostly when he is under a lot of stress and pressure and he needs something to clear off his mind

K = Kink 

his kinks arent as sadistic as one can think but they still express dominance since he wont allow his partner to have any. overstimulation one day, orgasm denial the other. scent play and spanking are his favorite things ever

L = Location 

bedroom of course but also.. his working place

M = Motivation 

its not easy to turn him on, since he is well self controlled and he doesnt like to lose his composure. the best way to get him into it is by making him mad. so go against his word or defy him

N = No (

he will say no to anything that would permantely scar you or hurt you. anything that damages the body itself is a big no

O = Oral 

he is such a receiver. this man has talents when it comes to his mouth he is super skilled, but he wont give oral all times, its reserved in special occasions. however he wants his dick worshipped

P = Pace

he is a rough yet slow pacer.. he likes to feel it all

Q = Quickie

he aint into it. he likes the full session where he can have his full atention on his partner

R = Risk 

he will take risks and he will experiment but only after doing his own research. it might be hard to get him out of his comfort zone

S = Stamina 

this guy is a machine but a controlled one. he lasts for about 30 minutes averagely but he prolongs the session longer when he is into denying

T = Toys 

he is jealous of it to be honest and he probably has beef with some of his partner's toys

U = Unfair 

he is UNFAIR and awful when he truly gets on the edge. its either too much either not enough and the way you cry is melody to his ears

V = Volume 

he aint that loud, but he does curse and grunt a lot during the deed

W = Wild card

there's two here. the first is that surprisingly he is someone self conscious and prefers to do it on the dark unless he is half dressed or if he really wants to see you wrecked. also.. voyeurism

X = X-ray 

big boy, but more thick than long. quite veiny

Y = Yearning 

moderate sex drive

Z = Zzz

after the deed he likes to go back to his own business as he is unportable with the lovey dovey post sex bliss

#6urse #6urse sukuna #sukuna #6urse astorlogy #6urse headcanons