#and now she's told that to be accepted by the only community she's really ever known

[ohara-n-brown]

As a late diagnosed autist I will say one of the most damaging but transformative experiences I've ever had was being misdiagnosed with BPD.

Everyday my heart goes out to people with BPD.

The amount of stigma and silencing they face is astonishing and sickening.

I took DBT for years. Therapists use to turn me away because of my diagnosis.

I would be having full blown autistic meltdowns, crying for help literally - but because I was labeled as BPD ANY time I cried I was treated as manipulative and unstable.

As if the only reason I could be crying was if I was out to trick someone.

95% of the books out there with Borderline in the title are named shit like 'How to get away from a person with Borderline', 'How to stop walking on eggshells (with a person who has BPD)'

I was never allowed to feel true pain or panic or need.

That was 'attention seeking behavior', not me asking for help when a disability was literally inhibiting my ability to process emotions.

There were dozens of times where I had a full meltdown and was either threatened with institutionalization or told I was doing it for attention.

My failing relationships weren't due to a communication issue, or the inability to read social cues. No, because I was labeled borderline, my unstable relationships were my fault. Me beggong nuerotypicals to just be honest and blunt with what they meant was me pestering them for validation.

Borderline patients can't win.

And the funny thing is - I asked my therapist about autism. I told her I thought I was on the spectrum.

BPD is WILDLY misdiagnosed with those with autism and I had many clear signs.

Instead - she told me 'If you were autistic we wouldn't be able to have this conversation'. She made me go through a list of autistic traits made clearly for children, citing how I didn't fit each one.

And then she told me that me identifying with the autism community was the BPD making me search for identity to be accepted - and that I wasn't autistic, just desperate to fit in somewhere.

I didn't get diagnosed for another ten years. For ten years I avoided the autism community - feeling as if I were just a broken person who wanted to steal from people who 'really needed it'.

Because of my providers - I began to doubt my identity MORE, not less.

Ten years of thinking I was borderline and being emotionally neglected and demonized by a system meant to help me.

To this day, I still don't trust neurotypicals. Not fully.

I know I'm not borderline now - but my heart aches for them. Not for the usual stuff. But for the stigma. And the asshole doctors. And the dismissiveness and threatening and the idea of institutionalization hanging over their head.

I love Borderline people. I always will. I'm not Borderline but if you are I love you and I'm sorry.

You're not a bad person. You're not a therapists worst nightmare, you are a human with valid feelings and fears.

Borderline people I'm sorry.

#autism #bpd #borderline personality disorder #actually autistic #neurodivergent #neurodivergency #neurodiversity #cluster b

[melzula]

Smoke and Shadow

part two

pairing: Zuko x Princess!reader

notes: final part is here! hope you guys enjoy and thank you for being patient as always

summary: the group is one step closer to finding the missing children and Azula, but that doesn’t mean all of their problems will be solved

~ part of the fire lilies series ~

“We decided to do some investigating after Zuko kicked Aang out of the throne room,” Suki explains to you as your trio runs after the Avatar and Fire Lord. “We wanted to see if there were any clues left behind from Kiyi’s kidnapping or Azula’s Kemurikage attack on the palace last night.”

“And even though we couldn’t find anything, I realized there was something fishy about the way she was able to escape so quickly!” Ty Lee adds with a keen smile. “When we used to play hide-and-seek as kids, she’d always manage to win by hiding in this secret passage way tucked into the palace walls. It must be how the Kemurikage were able to escape so quickly.”

“Good thinking, Ty Lee. Although, I still can’t believe she kidnapped her own sister,” you note with a disgruntled shake of your head. “That’s low even for her.”

“This is Azula we’re talking about,” Suki reminds you, and that in itself is enough of an explanation for her behavior.

You finally skid to a stop after reaching the palace rooftops where Aang and Zuko land. The Avatar carelessly drops your boyfriend on the tile, and you wince on his behalf before offering Zuko your hand to help him back up onto his feet.

“Did you have fun?” You ask with a teasing smile only for the Fire Lord to scowl.

“Don’t ever do that again!” He scolds Aang whilst dusting off his robes.

“Okay, okay, but look!” the boy insists before pressing down on a loose brick that opens up a hidden doorway.

“A secret passageway! So you think this is how Azula and the other Kemurikage escape? How did you figure this out?”

“They searched for clues after you kicked them out of the throne room,” you tell him with a pointed look that has him shrinking guiltily under your gaze. “I think you owe Aang an apology.”

“You’re right,” he murmurs sheepishly. “I’m sorry, I should have been more open to your ideas.”

“Apology accepted!” Aang chirps happily. “Now what’s our next move?”

“Well… Kiyi could be on the other side.”

“Tom-Tom, too. I’m coming along,” Mai interjects firmly, seemingly forgetting Kei Lo’s presence until he corrects her statement with a “We’re coming along.”

Zuko instructs Suki and Ty Lee to stay back and guard the palace, so you bid your friends goodbye before beginning your descent into the narrow passageway. The hallway is cold and claustrophobic, but Aang and Zuko lead the way with their fire bending, cautioning you to watch your step behind them.

You’re quiet for the most part, mulling over your thoughts and insecurities now that you’re given a moment’s silence to think. You’re still feeling a bit insecure about walking in on him with Mai and about his animosity towards Kei Lo, but you haven’t had the chance to talk to him yet. The long distance has been hard on your relationship, and sometimes it’s hard to keep consistent communication when both of you have duties to tend to and entire nations to run, but you never thought it would be a problem. Now, you’re not so sure.

You recall what Azula had told you during your time in the Forgetful Valley, how you and Zuko were an “unnatural” pair that would never work. You hate to admit it or even think it, but what if she’s right? What if you’re just kidding yourself? Maybe Mai really has been the right girl for him all along. After all, she is Fire Nation, and she certainly is more qualified to be dating the Fire Lord than you are. You wish Suki were here to talk to, surely she’d know just what to say and could stop you from spiraling like you are now, but without her it seems it’s just you and your thoughts for now.

“Hey, I didn’t get to introduce myself earlier,” a voice says, pulling you out of your thoughts. “I’m Kei Lo, Mai’s boyfriend.”

“Yes, I’m sorry, everything’s just been so chaotic. I’m y/n, Zuko’s girlfriend.”

“That’s right, Mai told me. Say, aren’t you a Chief? Should I be calling you Chief y/n instead?”

“Just y/n is perfectly fine,” you correct him with an awkward laugh. Unbeknownst to you, Zuko is listening in on every word. He doesn’t trust Kei Lo, not one bit, and he doesn’t want him roping you into any trouble. He doesn’t care if he really isn’t in cahoots with the Safe Nation Society, if Kei Lo so much as looks at you in a way Zuko doesn’t like he’ll be tossed into a cell immediately.

“So how’s a Chief of a water tribe end up dating the Fire Lord?” He asks with a laugh.

“It’s a very long story.”

“Please spare me the details,” Mai says with a roll of her eyes.

“Yeah, it may not be the best time for that story,” you note with an apprehensive smile.

“You’re probably right. Still, it’s a pretty awkward situation we’ve all found ourselves in.”

“You can say that again.”

After some time group is finally able to reach the end of the passageway, and the only thing standing in your way from the other side is a solid wooden door.

“This must be it,” Zuko announces hopefully. “Behind this door could be Kiyi and Tom-Tom.”

“And Azula,” Aang adds apprehensively before helping the Fire Lord push the heavy wood open. The creak of the old hinges is deafening, echoing in the silent hallway, and you watch with bated breath as the light from the other side slowly begins to seep in. Carefully, you follow the two out the door only to be met with a disappointing site.

There are no missing children and there is no Azula. Instead, you’re faced with a gloomy and desolate graveyard.

“What is this place?” You murmur in awe, your eyes scanning across the expanse of withered headstones. You’ve never seen anything like it.

“I’ve been here before,” Zuko notes thoughtfully, “this is the royal family graveyard.”

“I thought that’s what the Dragonstone catacombs were for,” Aang questions with furrowed brows.

“No, the catacombs are only for Fire Lords. This place is for everyone else. It’s called the Garden of Tranquil Souls.”

“Really? Well, I hate to break it to you, Zuko, but…” the Avatar begins uneasily, and you follow his shifting gaze towards the clouds of smoke that begin to surround the graveyard. Taking a step back, you reach to unclip your water pouch as the dark figures begin to close in on your group. “The souls here don’t seem all that tranquil!”

The group of Kemurikage don’t hesitate to attack, and immediately your group is split apart as you all begin to defend yourselves against their assault. Blasts of fire are shot your way left and right, but you’re able to deflect it every time with your water bending. You manage to take down two of the spirits by encasing them up to their necks in ice, but your progress only seems to make a dent in their ambush. Zuko and Aang are still corned back to back, and Azula has managed to single out Mai and Kei Lo. She holds the boy by the collar of his shirt, eyes full of malice and hand ready to strike him with her blue flames despite Mai’s pleas for her to leave her boyfriend alone.

Before she can harm him, you send a blast of water towards her with an effortful grunt that shoots her across the graveyard and into one of the pillars. The impact is forceful enough to put a crack in the tombstone and disorient Azula momentarily to allow Kei Lo and Mai the chance to escape.

“Are you alright?” You ask him after rushing towards the couple. Mai helps him to his feet before looking to you, her eyes full of gratitude and sincerity.

“Thank you,” she says earnestly, and you give her an appreciative nod in return.

Rising from the ground with a grunt of pain, Azula is filled with rage at your assault on her. How dare you think you can beat her at her own game?

“Helping out your competition? That’s pathetic even for you, dearest,” she insults, irises aflame with fury. “Perhaps you and Zuko are more compatible than I thought.”

“What’s pathetic is the fact that you’re still obsessed with becoming Fire Lord,” you spit back, water cloaking your arms to form tentacle-like limbs for attack.

“Oh, I’m much past that now. I have a new mission,” she notes airily with a passive wave of her hand. Her eyes harden suddenly then and electricity begins to spread across her fingertips. “One that simply won’t work with you in the picture.”

Before she can raise her hands to strike you with her lightening blast, Zuko is quick to send a hail of flames her way to distract her. “Leave her out of this! It’s me you want!”

“Oh, Zuzu, always so dramatic,” she mocks before creating a cloud of smoke to cover her as she runs away.

“You have to go after her!” You exclaim urgently. “I’ll stay back and help Aang handle the rest of the Kemurikage.”

After ensuring you’ll be fine without him, Zuko gives you one final nod before chasing after his sister. You, on the other hand, rush back towards Aang to see if he needs any help. However, it seems he’s been able to manage the assailants just fine on his own.

“Princess! Where’d everybody go?” He asks, perplexed at the sudden disappearance of your group.

“Zuko went after Azula. I’m not sure where Mai and Kei Lo are,” you note as you scan the garden for any sign of them. “What do we do now? We still haven’t found the missing children.”

As if on cue, a shrill voice coming from the passageway calls out for help. You exchange an alarmed glance with Aang before immediately sprinting back into the doorway. A breath of relief leaves you at the sight of Mai’s father with the children in tow, but your ease is short lived at the sight of the two Kemurikage that hold them captive.

“Look!” One of the kids exclaims. “It’s the Avatar and Chief y/n!”

“Hi kids, we’ve been looking all over for you!” Aang says with an overjoyed wave.

“Are you guys alright?!” You call out protectively. “Is anyone hurt?”

“We’re great!” Kiyi calls back prompting you to let out a relieved laugh. You’re so happy to see her and see that she’s okay, but your joyous reunion is quickly cut short by the two spirits who begin to approach the two of you with whips of fire.

“Hang on, kids!” You tell them before beginning to take on the Kemurikage. There’s two of them, so you and Aang each take on one. They’re powerful fighters, but the safety of the children is on the line, so you use all of your might to fight them off as best as you can.

You counter their whip with one of your own, slicing through their weapon each time before it can strike you. While one of your hands controls the water whip, the other sends constant shards of ice hurtling toward the cloaked woman. You can tell she’s beginning to tire, your attacks too much for her to keep up with, but you’re too focused to notice the second figure approaching closely behind you. The Kemurikage’s whip is raised to strike you in the back, but their attack is halted by the blade that slices through the air and pins their hand against the wall.

“What-!” You exhale in surprise, turning just in time to see Mai swoop in and finish the job. The last two spirits have been apprehended, and you’ve been spared a wound that surely could have been fatal.

“Someone had to watch your back,” Mai explains with a faint smile. “You had ours.”

“Thank you,” you utter with a breathless grin. It feels nice to not hate each other for once, and you actually seem to work quite well together.

“Y/n! Y/n!” A voice calls, stealing your attention away from the girl and back to the children. Kiyi sprints towards you with a gleeful smile, and you’re quick to scoop her up into your arms and give her the tightest hug. “You came back!”

“I promised, didn’t I?” You say with a playful smile, carefully pushing back the hair from her face. “I’m so relieved to see you’re okay, and I know Zuko will be too.”

“Guess what? I’m a fire bender now!” She boasts proudly. “I burned a hole through the door so we could escape!”

“That’s incredible!” You praise with a laugh. “Wait until your brother hears this.”

Across the way, Mai cradles her little brother in her arms and watches you speak animatedly with Zuko’s sister. Your interest in Kiyi’s story is completely genuine, and she can see just how much the girl values your opinion. It’s so different from the way Azula used to talk about you, speaking poorly of your character and diminishing you to nothing but a weak Princess. Maybe Mai had judged you too harshly. After all, she might not have been able to get her brother back without your help.

“Thank you again for your help,” she tells you after setting Tom-Tom down to allow him to bid his goodbyes to his new friends. “I was wrong about you, and I shouldn’t have let my resentment cloud my judgement the way I did. I guess I really don’t hate you as much as I thought I did.”

“I appreciate you saying that,” you express with a careful smile. Perhaps things will always be awkward between the two of you, but this is at least a good start.

After making sure all of the children are accounted for, your group exits the passageway just as Zuko emerges from one of the mausoleums. Kiyi is quick to sprint towards her brother, and you watch on with a smile at the way his eyes seem to light up while hugging her close.

“Kiyi! I can’t tell you how worried I was about you.”

“I wasn’t worried at all!” She notes with a grateful smile. “You should’ve seen it, Zuzu! Y/n helped the Avatar take those nasty ladies down!”

“She did, did she?” He asks playfully, glancing over to you with a grateful smile. You simply give him a sheepish shrug in return. “I’ll have to be sure to give her my thanks.”

“And Azula?” You ask him, but his solemn gaze is enough of an answer. “She said she had a new mission, did she tell you what it was?”

“She wasn’t interested in becoming Fire Lord, she was interested in turning me into the type of Fire Lord she would be. The type that rules with fear, ruthlessness. Just like my father. Azula says I can’t escape who I am, and it will only be a matter of time before I’m just like her.”

“You don’t believe that, do you? You’re nothing like Azula,” you say earnestly. “You never will be.”

“I know,” Zuko murmurs softly, but you can see the slightest bit of doubt in his eyes and it saddens to you to know he doesn’t fully believe it to be true. “But either way she escaped. I don’t know where she is or when she’ll return.”

“We’ll be there to help you if she does come back, buddy,” Aang consoles with a comforting hand on the Fire Lord’s shoulder. “For now, let’s just focus on returning these kids back to their families.”

“Good point, Aang. Now,” you say, looking to the children who stare up at you with tired eyes that immediately brighten when you ask, “who’s ready to go home?”

~~~

Peace has been restored in the Fire Nation; the children have been returned safely to their parents, and Zuko has earned the forgiveness of his people for his mishandling of the situation. Everything is almost perfect.

You lean against the balcony of your room for the night and stare up contemplatively at the moon. Yue shines beautifully as always, and you find comfort in her light as you battle against the darkness clouding your thoughts. Your doubts about your relationship still rage on, and you haven’t been able to fight them off no matter how hard you try. You haven’t mentioned anything to Zuko, not wanting to distract him from his duty to his people, but the suffering in silence act you’ve been pulling all day hasn’t been helping your state of mind. Suki had urged you to talk to him, stating you had nothing to worry about because she’s seen firsthand how much he misses you when you’re away, but you were too anxious to follow through. What if you won’t like what you hear when you finally speak to Zuko?

You’re too engrossed in your thoughts to hear your door open or the quiet footsteps that head towards you, and it isn’t until he’s right beside you that you finally feel the familiar warmth that constantly emanates from his body. You don’t have to look to know that it’s Zuko.

“Suki said I should come to talk to you,” he says softly, golden eyes looking to you inquisitively. “Is everything alright?”

“I… I’m not sure,” you admit quietly, nervously fidgeting with your fingers and refusing to meet his gaze.

“What is it?”

His hand sneaks its way in between your own to halt your fidgeting and reassure that he’s right there with you and ready to listen to whatever it is you have to say. Sighing, you finally look to him with uncertainty swimming in your eyes.

“Do you have feelings for Mai?”

He’s stunned to stay the least, eyes widening slightly in surprise at your question. It’s certainly the last thing he expected you to ask him.

“Is this what you were trying to talk to me about earlier?” He presses gently, frowning at the way you slowly nod your head. “I see…”

“Just be honest with me, Zuko,” you plead desperately. “We promised we’d never keep secret from each other anymore, so if there’s something to tell then tell me. I can handle it.”

“I can’t stand here and tell you that it didn’t look bad when you walked in on Mai and I,” Zuko admits with a sigh. “But I can tell you that nothing was going on.”

“I heard you say you care about her.”

“It was out of context. I was trying to make things right for the sake of finding the children- she was obviously still upset over what went down between us, and I was trying to keep the peace so that we could work together to find our siblings. I’ve known her since we were kids, and if it weren’t for her I never would have been able to escape Boiling Rock and come back to you. So in a way I guess I do care for her, but it’s nothing compared to how much I care for you.”

“What about your animosity towards Kei Lo? You seemed… jealous of him.”

“I wasn’t jealous, I just didn’t trust him. I still don’t,” Zuko says adamantly. “I wasn’t exactly thrilled about having to release him because I didn’t want him to try and pull anything. I didn’t want Mai getting hurt, and I especially didn’t want him putting you in any danger.”

“So… so you don’t have feelings for her?” You ask meekly, the slightest bit of doubt still present in your voice.

“I’ve never had feelings for her,” Zuko says earnestly before gently taking your hands in his own. “You’re the only girl for me, y/n. I was stupid enough to let you go once, but I’m never making that mistake again.”

You can’t help but smile at his admission, tears beginning to well in your eyes as you throw your arms around him in a tight embrace that he immediately returns. It feels like a weight has finally been lifted off your shoulders, and all the worry and self doubt you had is finally beginning to melt away.

“I never want you to feel doubtful or insecure about our relationship ever again. I’m going to do everything in my power to do better,” he professes earnestly. “I love you more than you know, and you don’t ever have to worry about someone coming between us again.”

“I love you, Zuko.”

He pulls you in for a kiss, and with the moonlight shining down upon you both, everything is almost perfect.

For neither of you notice the pair of golden eyes that stare down at you from the rooftops with disdain and disgust before disappearing into the shadows.

“Pathetic.”

| atla tags: @sirkekselord @niktwazny303

| zuko tags: @thebluelcdy @royahllty @the-firebender-girl @ilovespideyyy @yiyibetch @eridanuswave @lammello @a-monsters-love @knaite-solo @taeeemin

| fire lilies tags: @emberislandplayers @kikaninchen-2 @music-geek19 @thia-aep @thyunnamed @haylaansmi @nataliahaslosthershit @idkdude776 @aangsupremacy @thirstyforsometea @ihaveaproblem98 @brown-eyed-thang @xapham @misnmatchedsox @chewymoustachio @that-bucket-hat-gal @chilifrylizard2 @kyomihann @kaylove12 @kiwihoee @freggietale @moon-spirit-yue @bubblegum-bee-otch

#fire lilies #atla #zuko #zuko x reader #zuko imagine #prince zuko #prince zuko x reader #prince zuko imagine #atla x reader #atla imagine #avatar the last airbender

[infiniteimaginings]

Begging for a part two of that angsty Percy fic😭😭😭 plz remind me if you do end up posting one

It’s just dull. (Book!Percy Jackson x Fem!Reader)

Summary: You and Percy broke up because he gave more attention to Annabeth than he ever did to you. You were done and he wants to prove to you that he still cares about you. Will you hear him out? Part One: Who’s in this relationship? Pronouns: You/Yours, She/Her Warnings: There's a suicidal thought near the end, we don't go much into it though, but warning for it. (It's brief) Word Count: 4.5k A/N: I have heard your prayers, believe me I have (see below this a/n) (there's even more since I made this). Here is the very requested part two to ‘Who’s in this relationship?’ I will tell you guys, there was no intention for this to have a part two, but there is one now, because I love you guys! Enjoysies! (For anyone just joining us, you can read this stand alone, you don't really have to read part one to understand what's going on, it's explained well here.)

It had been two weeks since you left Percy by the now defiled space that once belonged to only the two of you. The sacred place where you would sneak kisses, have picnics, stargaze, listen to the ocean or each other's breathing. The place you considered safe because he was always there with you.

A place that was no longer safe because he invited Annabeth Chase to the one area of camp the two of you had away from prying eyes. 

At the abandoned building, on the almost caved in roof, the daughter of Athena sat next to the son of Poseidon. He was sprawled out on his back, silent as he looked to the stars draped over the night sky, lighting their vision. Well, his vision because Annabeth was far more interested with her shoelaces.

She was picking at the aglets, peeling the plastic off and chewing at her lip, deep in thought. The sound of the ripping plastic caught the attention of the raven haired boy next to her who looked over lazily, his expression generally neutral. He raised a brow, lifting himself so he would be leaning on his elbows, the roof tiles digging into his skin.

Annabeth heard the sound of his shifting so she looked over, her stormy gray eyes meeting his deep green ones. He gently smiled at the eye contact but she looked away, hugging her knees to her figure. 

Percy blinked in slight surprise at the reaction, “What’s wrong?” He asked her, now sitting up entirely, body facing her. The sound of his voice caused the girl now in front of him to sigh, face turning to him.

Her eyes were sad, she was chewing at her lip, fidgeting with her hands. Before she could even speak, as if Percy knew exactly what she was communicating, he put his face into his hands. He sighed heavily, pushing his hair back, now looking to the sky.

“Yeah, I’m thinking about her too.” He mumbled out, eyes for some reason refusing to look at Annabeth.

“She was right…” Annabeth spoke, looking up to the stars as well.

“About?”

She gulped, blinking her eyes rapidly to stop from tearing up, “None of this is fair to her.” She told him honestly, her voice so soft the air could barely pick it up to reach Percy's ears.

He pinched the bridge of his nose at the words, he knew it wasn’t fair. He knew what you said was true, he just couldn’t accept it. He had known Annabeth since day one of being at camp, he hung out with her a lot. He couldn’t see the problem until you were gone and he found himself missing you more than usual, a feeling he never had before which led him into a spiral of questions about all he never noticed.

He could’ve argued, he could’ve said that none of it made sense. He could’ve said none of it was true but instead all that left his lips was a whisper. He pulled his knees up, dropping his head to them, “I know.”

Annabeth stood on the roof, the tiles slightly shaking but she paid no attention to it. She just looked at Percy. She didn’t brush herself off, she didn’t fidget with her hands, she was still and silent. 

When Percy looked up from his sat position, he inhaled sharply at the serious expression on the blonde's face. Annabeth was frowning a bit, her eyes were watery, but they were narrowed a bit. 

She looked away, sniffling, before looking back to the boy in front of her. “This isn’t fair to her.” She repeated to him, her voice airy. “After what happened, I just…” She paused, tongue poking the inside of her cheek, “You still bringing me up here always makes me want to puke.” She spoke simply, shrugging at her own words.

Percy's eyes slightly widened, his eyes reddening at the rims. He furrows his brows at her words, “I…” He couldn’t finish his own thought because if he was being honest, seeing Annabeth there made bile rise from his throat everytime he looked at her. It felt wrong, as if you placed different characters in each other's stories and expected them to move along.

The girl nodded, “Yeah, it makes me feel,for lack of a better description, physically ill.” She continued on, swallowing harshly, eyes clearing up a bit. She gently crossed her arms, not of anger or waiting, as if she was crossing them to warm herself though it wasn’t cold. “You brought me somewhere that was just for the two of you, and I know if I was your girlfriend, that would be it for me too.” She explained honestly, frowning deeply as she shook her head, Percy staring at her quietly. Annabeth kicked her foot on the roof softly, barely grazing the tile. She looked to the tile so she wouldn’t have to meet his eyes again, “I do like you Percy.” 

Those five words were five words that Percy thought he would be ecstatic about. Twelve year old him would’ve been utterly buzzing, but years later, he doesn’t feel anything to them. When she said them he scowled a bit, not realizing, but he fixed his expression when he noticed, grateful she wasn’t looking at him.

Annabeth continued on, “But, after all this…” She inhaled deeply, hand on her chest to control her own breathing. “After all this, I am disappointed in myself.” She spoke, nodding, finally meeting his eyes again. “I’m disappointed in myself for even being a part of this, and I can’t do this with you and feel comfortable.” Her words were echoing, for Percy at least. She kept talking, walking to the ladder but her words were merged together and muffled. Before he knew it, he had no sight of the golden haired girl who was just sitting next to him. 

Another week passed and Percy was nowhere to be found, to the point that some campers were worried. So worried that they would go to archery practice, find you, and ask you where he was. 

Everytime a young camper would approach you while you held your bow and arrow, drawn into position, asking about Percy, you would release your hand. Your arrows would wisp through the air, piercing through the cloth target with such a force it almost tears in half somehow. You would turn to them, eyes in a glare as you seethed for the millionth time in the past few days, ”I don’t know.”

One of these days you were practicing archery, some of your friends call it releasing frustration, you call it practice.

One of those days as you were practicing, your bow was at your side, you were turned to get more arrows until you noticed they were gone. You huffed, rubbing your eyes. You had no idea how long you had been out there, but it had to be a while if there were no arrows left. You turned back to face the target to walk over and grab the discarded practice arrows until you were making eye contact with someone.

This person had gray eyes, they flickered from your eyes to lower. You followed the line of sight and they were holding all of your discarded arrows.

“I thought you might need these.” Annabeth spoke quietly, a gentle smile on her face, but it was clear she was nervous. She held the arrows out, stepping back a bit as if she were presenting a crown to royalty.

You clasped the arrows in your hands, putting them in your bag. “Thanks.” That was all you said, you readied your bow, back to her, counting your arrows because if you didn’t some of the people in Apollo cabin were going to be very upset with you.

Footsteps didn’t retreat in any sort of direction so you licked your lips and turned to face the girl still standing in the same spot. Your mouth was in a tight lipped smile, eyes darting around, “Can I help you?” You asked her, brows slowly furrowing.

She puffed air through her cheeks, eyes wide as she blinked, seemingly thinking about something. In the silence you just nodded and went to turn back to your arrows until you heard, “I’m so sorry.” suddenly blurted from her lips.

You faced her once more with a raised brow, lips slightly parted. You were clueless to what was going on so you kept looking around to see if she was being forced to say these things or something. No one else was around, it was just the two of you. You closed your mouth before putting your bow down, “For what, exactly?” 

“Everything. Percy, the abandoned building, all that time. It…” She paused, looking down, “It wasn’t fair to you.” She continued to apologize, rambling about everything she was sorry for but when she looked back up to you, you were just confused with a small smile on your face. She quickly shut up and her facial expression morphed into one of slight horror of your chuckle leaving your lips.

You shook your head, “Annabeth, I’m not mad at you.” You assured her, hands on your hips, eyes crinkling slightly. The blonde girl in front of you tilted her head, arms dropping to her sides, “You’re not?” She asked, now genuinely confused.

Now, Annabeth was a nice girl, she was so intelligent, incredibly kind. She didn’t defile the secret held space by being herself, she was a friend to you. She didn’t defile the space, Percy did. She wasn’t the reason the space was longer safe or comforting, Percy was.

You shook your head at her once again, placing a hand on her shoulder comfortingly, rubbing it gently. “I understand how it feels to have a connection with someone.” You explained to her, your words caused her to look at you softly. “I know how long you’ve liked him, I’m not blaming you. You can’t control how you feel.” You shrugged, frowning a bit and she mirrored your expression. 

Her whole body seemed to fall into itself as she hiccuped slightly, “I feel terrible.” She mumbled, twisting the tip of her shoes into the grass nervously. You patted her shoulder, placing your head into her gaze so she would look at you. “You didn’t force him to choose you.” You said, the words made Annabeth go silent, as if she went through her mind to find how she did.

Nothing in her memories supported such a thing.

You smiled at the small spark of understanding in Annabeth's expression. “He made the choice to choose you over me, no one told him to do that.” You continued on, letting out a breath you didn’t know you were holding. This all felt like a weight on your chest you just needed off so you could breathe without struggle. “He decided to let his girlfriend be a second thought, you didn’t control his thoughts.” 

There was more silence, you didn’t know what to say to her then. So, you just adjusted her necklace and told her to be careful, your friendly eyes just made her feel guiltier. She apologized again and you took hold of her hands.

“No, I’m sorry.” You told her, the words were confusing to her, but she would understand soon enough. “I hope he doesn’t do whatever it was he did with me, to you. You deserve better than that Annabeth.” You nodded as you spoke so she would understand she doesn’t need to stay with someone who doesn’t cherish her.

She frowned and scrunched her nose awkwardly, “We aren’t…um..” 

“You decided not to?”

“I didn’t think it would be right.”

You nodded with a small hum, looking at the sky, mindlessly rubbing the backs of her hands with your thumbs. You had to squint due to the brightness of the sun before looking back to the girl who was looking right at you. “Well, you might’ve made the right choice.” You told her, letting go of her hands and turning back to your arrows, packing them up. You gathered your things, walking away, “You’re smart Annabeth, you make smart decisions.” You announced to her a little loud since there was distance between the two of you.

Annabeth didn’t run after you, when you walked away without looking back she turned around. Your backs were facing each other as you both walked away, distancing more and more. She knew this was distance, she knew that you might not ever talk to her the same way. What she also knew was that it wasn’t because you hated her, it was because you knew what was best for the both of you. You knew she was wise and could move forward with the knowledge that you weren't upset. She knew something about you too, she knew that you seemed more content than you were before, and that thought made her steps a little lighter as she walked away.

After the conversation with Annabeth, about a day or two later you felt better. Not completely, of course, but better in a sense you didn’t have to place your anger in archery that day. You went to the lake, walking across the beachside to admire some wild flowers that grew around. You wanted to see if you could find some of the flowers that a few of the demeter kids made grow on the beachside (somehow). 

You walked slowly, observing the area quietly. No one was around, everyone was at training, in their cabins, or in the plaza. You enjoyed these quiet moments to yourself where you didn’t need to be angry, where you didn’t need to be anything.

As you continued on you closed your eyes, inhaling the scent of the ocean. It was peaceful. Well, peaceful until you felt a cold, wet hand on your shoulder. 

It startled you so much to the point you jumped, twisting the hand, turning and kicking the person in their stomach out of pure reflex. It terrified you for someone to suddenly sneak up on you, for all you knew it could’ve been a surprise duel, so you have to stay on guard.

When you turned around to see who decided to grip your shoulder instead of just calling your name you were met with the sights of Percy Jackson. He wore his camp halfblood shirt and some jeans, soaking wet with ocean water. His hair was stuck to his forehead from how it was drenched. None of that matter though because he was clutching his stomach and his arm, the action making you roll your eyes.

“I deserved that.” He grunted out, shaking his arm and taking a deep breath, smiling at you sheepishly.

You stared at him blankly, “There are other ways to get a girl's attention you know, like saying her name, yelling something, or even standing in front of her.” You told him, crossing your arms. “Those options wouldn’t have ended in,” You waved your hand to him, “that.”

Percy winced at how you reacted and rubbed the back of his neck, “Sorry, I saw you and just had to talk to you. I wasn’t thinking.” 

“Clearly.” You told him with a sigh, “Where did you even see me fro…” You trailed off, looking at him closely and then seeing how close you were to the water. “You’ve been in the ocean all this time?” You asked with a quizzical look. He looked, just as confused, shaking his head. “I’ve been in my cabin, I usually come out here for about an hour.” He explained, tilting his head at what you were implying but, he decided not to question it.

He rubbed his nose a bit, his cheeks and nose were pink, probably from the sudden hit he took from you. He bit his lip, “Can we talk for a minute?”

“We are talking.” You spoke bluntly, unsure of why you guys were talking. 

Percy smiled a bit at your comment due to him feeling suddenly uncomfortable, but he took the chance anyway, “I messed up.” He told you and you nodded. He waited for you to say something but you blinked at him, he continued, hoping his words would get a response from you. “I didn’t treat you with the respect you deserved, with the love and care you deserved.” He told you gently, green eyes looking at you through his lashes like a sad puppy. 

You scoffed with a roll of your eyes, “Yeah, you're right.” You emphasized your nods. “You didn’t treat me with the respect I deserved which is exactly why you can go be with someone else.” You told him, unsure of what he wasn’t getting because he was staring at you dumbly.

His eyes were big, his lips parted, his cheeks pink. He looked like a little kid who just got in trouble for accidentally renting a movie for an extra day. His facial expression transformed from an innocent trouble maker to a frustrated teen. He huffed into his hands, putting them on the back of his neck, “How many times do I need to say I’m sorry for you to just…listen?” He asked you, exasperated for gods know whatever reason.

Your eyes lidded, your mouth in a thin line. You refused to give him any sort of reaction. “How about we start with once and see where we get from there since you haven’t said it yet.” You told him, it wasn’t a question, it was a statement. It wasn’t a suggestion either, your tone proved that. You crossed your arms, body tilting to the side as you blinked, waiting.

Percy realized in this moment, he messed up, again. He didn’t know how to make things right. You knew he always thought he messed things up, but usually you were by his side reassuring him of things. That people are human, have feelings, make mistakes. How does he prove he’s not a huge mistake when he messed up by letting you go? By hurting you? There’s no one to hold his hand through this.

He nodded, swallowing hard, looking into your eyes, “I’m sorry.” His voice cracked,his breathing became uneven. “While you aren’t around, I feel like my lungs are filled with water.” He explained quietly, looking at the sand. 

You thought the sentiment could come from poetry, the words deep with meaning...from anyone else. This is from the son of Poseidon, so it only leaves a bitter taste in your mouth rather than warmth in your heart. Why? You looked to the water, back to him, “It’s a good thing you can breathe in water then.” That’s why, the son of Poseidon will never know the feeling of water filling his lungs.

Percy clapped his hands together, “Okay, I don’t even know what to say anymore because of that.” He told you, deep frown on his face, his eyes getting a bit darker.

You walked a little closer to him as he ran his hand through his wet hair, moving it from his eyes. “Do you really want me to tell you how I’m feeling right now, in this moment?” You asked him seriously, and he nodded feverishly. “Please, just give me something.” He begged, his eyes pleading for some sort of emotional response, his hands quivering to stop himself from taking yours in his.

“I don’t care.”

“What?”

You repeated yourself, “I don’t care.” 

Percy laughed from slight annoyance, scratching his cheek, “Yeah, I heard you the first time.” He told you seriously, his irritation clear in his words. “Can you elaborate?” He asked slowly, blinking at you, trying to understand what you meant.

You tilted your head in though, not making eye contact. It wasn't because you were scared, it was because you didn’t owe him an intimate moment, you didn’t even owe him this conversation. You clasped your hands together, letting them fall in front of your figure. “Percy,” you began, looking at the boy who desperately waited for you to speak to him, “when you’re in a relationship with someone who decided to share all the special moments you guys have with someone else, the feeling dulls after a while.” You explained, moving on your heels a bit, moving your head to see if he understood.

He stayed silent, his posture straightening, his eyes blinking slowly. 

“After we broke up, it didn’t take very long to get myself back up.” You told him since your breakup was only about a month ago, “You practically prepared me during our relationship.” You thought about it aloud and realized how bad it really sounded. 

Percy seemed to realize that too as he tried to sputter out a response of how he didn’t mean to but you stopped him. “Unintentionally, intentionally, inadvertently, it doesn’t matter, I don't care.” You told him once more, unclasping your hands to shrug a bit.

The wind blew, ruffling you guys’s shirts. 

“You don’t care.” Percy spoke quietly, voice deep with heartache.

You felt tears begin to well in your eyes and tried to shake them away, blink them back. “I love you Percy.” You told him, the words weren’t spilling out your mouth you meant to say that. He looked a little hopeful at your words but when you bit your lip and your eyes glossed over he knew there was nothing good for the two of you. “The hurt may have dulled, but it’s still there and it will always be there.” 

Percy nodded, sighing out as his own eyes filled with tears, slowly turning red. 

You looked at him still, the eye contact was unbearable, causing your chest to tighten but you couldn’t look away. “I don’t forgive you.” You told him honestly, he nodded, a tear falling as he bit the inside of his cheek. You continued on, wiping your hands on your pants, “And I’m told to be the bigger person and forgive people so that what they did isn’t always on my mind.” You explained, your throat felt like it was closing, your voice got a little higher in pitch but Percy never looked away. “But I will never forget.”

His jaw tightened as he tried to bite back his tears, using his palm to wipe the stray few on his cheeks away.

“I will never be able to forget how you kept me near you, and let Annabeth get just as close to you.” Your sob choked your words but he could still hear them, your hands were in fists at your side. You didn’t want to get emotional in front of him, but if you didn’t it would just fester up inside you and create an ugly version of yourself. A version you would hate looking at.

Percy tried to speak, “I-” 

“Please don't interrupt me,” You began, mouth tightened, brow knitted, “because you’ve spent way too long not listening to me and I’ve spent way too long just letting it go.” Your voice was hoarse, trying not to cry and it just made Percy want to crawl into himself.

For once he wished he couldn’t breathe underwater, because nothing in camp half blood could’ve prepared him for the biggest monster of all. He felt like the biggest monster he’s ever faced because how could he hurt someone like you? How could he make the girl of his dreams cry? How could he cause so much pain, so much hurt, so much heartbreak and not even notice? For once he hated that the water could heal him, because he did not deserve it.

As much as he wanted your words to muffle, as much as he didn’t want to hear what you were saying he had to. 

“I don't know what you think I am.” You suddenly said, taking a deep breath, palm tapping at your chest to calm yourself.

“What?”

You sucked your teeth for a moment, “I supported you, fought for you, killed for you.” You listed to him, nodding with each word. “But Percy.. I am not your fan.” You told him, eyes staring straight into his, your head shaking, corners of your mouth deeply turned downwards. You could tell you were going to cry, but at the same time it seemed like no tears would fall.

Percy huffed, crossing his own arms, sand and water making it uncomfortable but he had bigger worries. “What is that supposed to mean?” He asked you seriously, gritting his teeth together.

“It means that I didn't do those things because I thought you were cool and admired you.” You explained simply, telling him the truth. “I did those things because I genuinely cared about you.” 

“I know that.”

Your head tilted, “Really?” You asked, before he could speak you waved your hand, “Because you treated me like some girl who was following you around and would do anything for you because you looked at me.” You told him, eyes narrowed, only a slight sniffle leaving you. 

He walked towards you, trying to speak, but you packed away, hands moving back to cross each other in a closed off manner.

“So many people thought I just had a hopeless crush on you because you treated me like a stranger.” You told him, the words were sharp and cut right through him. His eyes were wide, the whole conversation, his mouth was opening and closing, he didn’t know what to say.  You did though, “You didn't talk about me, you didn't hold me in public, we were never together… physically.” You explained and Percy just shook his head.

He may have been physically denying it but he knew it was true, he knew what he did, he knew he was wrong.

He wanted to explain, he wanted you back, he wanted you but you were so far away. You were standing right in front of him and somehow he couldn’t reach you, and it was torture.

You looked away, turning around, wiping your eyes, “I don’t want to have this conversation again.” You mumbled, loud enough for him to hear. “If I’m being honest, I don’t want to talk to you at all, ever again.” You told him, beginning to walk away. 

Percy didn’t try to chase after you, stood at the beach, watching your figure get further and further away. He lost you, he tried to get you back and lost you even more. 

Percy Jackson was never really good at anything on purpose. He was chosen for a great quest at twelve to retrieve a bolt he never even stole, he stopped a war, he was a hero for years because he saved everyone over and over again. 

Who saved Percy though? You did. Now, he didn’t have you and he felt as if every piece of darkness held in crevices you shined with light, was now taking over the corners of his mind, slowly spilling everywhere. He didn’t know what to do without you.

Percy Jackson was a hero, but without you, he’d rather leave the world to die.

#Percy jackson #Percy Jackson fanfiction #Percy Jackson x reader #book!Percy jackson #book Percy jackson #book percy jackson x reader #book!percy jackson x reader #Infinite Imaginings

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for sleeping with a 20 year old?

tw: mentions of potential grooming, age gap relationships, nsft/nsfw, vague discussions of sex

So, me (38m) and my wife (39f) are in an open relationship. Basically, we’re both bisexual and not quite ready to limit our sex lives to one person yet. So, we decided to allow friends with benefits situations outside of our relationship. No romantic stuff, no dating, just sex.

In January, my wife went to stay at her best friend’s (28f) house and have some fun together. I don’t mind at all, I was kind of glad to have our apartment to myself for a week. Now, there’s this queer bar that me and my wife frequent and it’s a good mix of all age demographics and identities.

There’s this one trans guy, I’ll call him M, that most people in the local community know because he’s very attractive. He reminds me of a very short Eric Draven mixed with Eddie Vedder. (Oddly specific, I know) Like, he has long-ish curly brown hair, big brown eyes, the sweetest smile ever and he dresses very well. A little grunge here, a little rockstar there. Good jewelry. You get it.

I always catch people staring at him when he’s at the bar with his friends. (We live in Europe btw, legal drinking age is 18.) In short, I find him very cute. He’s basically a micro celebrity among the community and he doesn’t even know it.

So, while my wife was away I went down to the bar and his friend group invited me to come sit with them. We started talking, he’s super funny and we began talking about Pearl Jam because of the shirt I was wearing. Found out he’s obsessed with the music scene of the 90s, specifically rock and grunge, and I happen to have a collection of merchandise of the big 4. I invited him to come check it out and he eagerly accepted. None of his friends wanted to come, so it was just us two. Showed him the stuff, he got super excited about it and I even let him keep one of my Soundgarden shirts and some CDs.

I offered to cook dinner, we ate and then had some weed brownies for dessert. We got posted on the couch, talked for a good while and he began confiding in me. I’m not gonna go into detail because that’s shitty, but he basically told me he’d never had a positive sexual experience up to that point. Apparently all of his exes were switches leaning submissive and he’s purely submissive, so things never really worked out and he never finished with any of them.

I told him about me and my wife’s arrangements and some other stuff about our sex life. (Don’t worry, my wife is 100% okay with this. Even in this context.)

Here’s where I might be the asshole, if not the creep:

Now, I was pretty high at that point and I joked about how I could give him a positive experience. To my surprise, he actually eagerly accepted. I was a bit hesitant because we were both buzzed, but he kept reiterating that he’s consenting and that he’s sure he wants this. So, I made sure he had a good night and he actually ended up sleeping over and we cuddled. It was super nice and he seemed genuinely ecstatic about it the next morning, it was adorable. I was honestly just happy that I was able to give him a positive sexual encounter.

We exchanged numbers, kept texting for two days and he ended up coming over again. Had some more fun together and he went to go sleep over at a friend’s place. At that point, I sort of realized that I may be catching feelings for him. Which is against me and my wife’s rules and also just a horrible idea, especially considering the age gap. So, I let him know that I need some distance and he was super understanding. He was understandably a bit disappointed but didn’t complain or anything.

Once my wife came back, I told her about everything. This is just a thing we do because it helps avoid speculation and unnecessary jealousy. We always tell each other about what happens with our other sexual partners, but only if they consent to it. Which most of them do because they’re our friends. She seemed a bit unnerved by it, not because of the fact that I had feelings for him, but because of the age difference. She said it’s weird and predatory and told me she needed some time to think.

Apparently, she went to go check in on M and asked him if I pressured him into anything. He said it was a 100% mutual thing and he’s very much into older guys, so he enjoyed it quite a lot.

This put her mind at ease but I’m still quite shaken by it. I never stopped to consider the fact that the age difference is quite concerning. I can’t help but feel like a nasty creep that bribed some poor 20 year with old band shirts to come sleep with him. I don’t like that I didn’t even think about it. Talking with M came so easy and we share a lot of interests. I’m not about to go and say he’s 'mature for his age' because he isn’t, he acts like any other 20 year old.

I was just so focused on how attractive and interesting he is to me, I fear I might’ve acted extremely selfish and should’ve stopped to take his lack of experience and his naivety into account. Of course he’d sleep with me, he’s 20 and doesn’t know any better. It should’ve been my job, as the older adult, to put a stop to it. Please don’t hesitate to give it to me straight.

AITA?

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole #eyestrain

[morgana-larkin]

Me againnnn lmao I have another request could u do Melissa x reader where reader is normally quiet but someone brought up their special interest and everyone is kinda weirded out coz reader gets so happy and starts talking about it and sharing facts and stuff but no one except Melissa knows reader is autistic and someone says something mean to reader and she gets upset and Melissa comforts reader and also stands up for her (as always no pressure I’m so so so happy! u r the first person that iv come across who writes fics about Melissa and autistic reader I get so happy when I see a notification from u i literally jump up and down with happiness and your fics really help me to accept im autistic coz I’m still trying to come to terms with it anyway hope u r doing well🫶)

OMG YES! Info dumping! I love it. And I’m so glad my fics are helping you. Feel free as well to message me directly if you ever want. So my other obsession besides Lisa Ann Walter, is Doctor Who and Jodie Whittaker, so of course I chose to have the reader talk about her as the Doctor… I regret nothing 😊. I went a little extra at the end but I’m too gay for Melissa to care. Anyway, I enjoyed writing this so thank you for the prompt and I hope you like it! As always, not edited in the slightest.

For everyone, feel free to keep sending me prompts, and I was thinking about writing a one shot about Cheesy as there’s not enough imo. Let me know if I should or not.

Title based off the song from Shrek 3 and the Italian word stronzo means asshole.

Thank You for Letting Me Be Myself

Warnings: someone is mean to reader, reader struggling with having autism(small part)

Words: 2.3k

You’re sitting in the break room at the table with Barb and Melissa. You get up to get a coffee and when you do you hear someone starting to talk about Doctor Who and you perk up.

You turn around to see Jacob, Mr. Morton and another teacher talking about it. “You guys watch Doctor Who?” You say and they stop talking and look up at you. Normally you’re quiet and don’t really say much as you’re recharging before you go and have to teach your kiddos again.

“Yes, do you watch it?” Jacob asks you and you nod with a big smile. Melissa looks up at you and sees your smile and she can’t help but smile herself. She’s had a crush on you since about 4 months after you started and it’s almost been 9 months that you’re working here.

“Well come here and share your thoughts about it.” Jacob says and you walk over to them, coffee in hand.

“What exactly is your discussion about?” You ask them.

“About the first female doctor, the 13th doctor.” Mr. Morton says and you keep smiling.

“She’s my favourite doctor! Like she’s so enthusiastic and passionate and she just loves everything about what she does! And she’s so funny too, it’s just a joy to watch Jodie play her!” You start and they look at you confused, wondering why you’ve always been quiet but now you’re talkative.

The truth is, you're autistic and the only one that knows is Melissa and she promised not to tell anyone since it’s your secret not hers. You told her because you felt like you kept missing social cues or taking things too literally, so you wanted someone in your corner to help you and she had no problem doing that for you. She looks at you talking so passionately about your favourite show with a smile and heart eyes before going back to her phone, secretly still listening to you.

“And her Tardis is so amazing, oh and her companion’s compliment her so well, and her outfit looks amazing. Did you know that Jodie helped decide on the outfit to support the LGBTQ community since she’s a huge ally. And also…” and you keep going on for about 5 minutes about how much you love the 13th doctor and her era on Doctor Who. Until the other teacher, you don’t know their name, the one Mr. Morton and Jacob were talking too, says something.

“OMG! Would you please shut up!” He says and you quickly shut your mouth. “I preferred it when you didn’t speak at all.” He says, glaring at you. And you look down at the ground, embarrassed before running out of there.

Melissa looked up when he started speaking and is now getting up and walking over to them. “Hey! Don’t talk to her like that. You should count yourself lucky that I won’t contact one of my guys on you.” She says and looks at Jacob. “Why didn’t you say anything?!?” She says to him “or you?” She says to Mr. Morton.

“Sorry Melissa, it all happened so fast.” Mr. Morton says and Jacob nods in agreement.

“You should be ashamed of yourself!” She says to the teacher that was mean to you.

“Hey, we were just sitting here talking about it until she cuts in and starts talking about everything that we weren’t even discussing. And she wouldn’t stop talking.” The teacher says , only making a deeper hole for himself. Melissa glares at him.

“I don’t care what you think! There’s better ways to do that!” She says to him.

“She shouldn’t have talked so much and knew that it was too much.” He says, still trying to defend himself.

“She’s autistic you stronzo!” She yells at him and then realises that she just told your secret and has wide eyes. All 3 of them look at her speechless, now understanding that you got excited and were info dumping and didn’t mean to talk so much. Melissa turns around and walks out of the break room and goes to find you.

She ends up finding you in your classroom crying on your chair, hugging your legs. She knocks on the door, “hey y/n it’s me, just wanted to come check on you.” She tells you.

You get up and unlock the door then open it. Melissa’s heart breaks a bit when she sees you. Eyes puffy, red and watery, tear stained cheeks and red nose from you blowing your nose.

“Oh hun.” She says and you walk back to your chair hugging your legs again. Melissa walks in and closes and locks the door then walks over to your desk. “Hey, he was an ass, he shouldn’t have said that to you.” Melissa tells you and crouches down and you look at her.

“No, he’s right, I was talking too much. I shouldn’t have gotten involved in their conversation. I just got so excited,” you tell her and you sniffle a bit.

“Hun, it’s understandable, I know how much you love Doctor Who. You have nothing to be ashamed about.” She tells you and grabs your hand. “Btw I might have accidentally told them that you’re autistic. As in I told them and called that teacher a stronzo for you.” She tells you. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean for it to slip out, I just got angry that he was mean to you.” She says, rubbing your hand with her thumb.

“It’s ok, they would have found out eventually. But this is another reason I don’t engage in conversations, cause I might talk too much.” You tell her. Melissa gets up and opens her arms out.

“Come here.” She tells you and motions to hug her. You put your feet down on the ground and then hug her waist since you’re still sitting in your chair. “Why don’t we go back in there, finish lunch. And then after school you can come to my place and I can make you some food and we can watch whatever you want.” She suggests and you look at her surprised.

“Really?” You ask her and she nods. “I would love that.” You tell her and she smiles. She helps you up and then unlocks the door and opens it for you. You both walk out and she sees you’re nervous about going back. She puts an arm wrapped around your back and her other hand on the arm closes to her and rubs it, providing comfort for you.

You get back in and when you enter everyone stops and looks up at you. Melissa can feel you immediately tense up. “What are all youse looking at?” She says and glares at everyone. Everyone immediately looks back down to their phone or food and continues what they were doing. Melissa leads you back to the table where Barb is and Barb gives you a comforting smile.

The teacher that was mean to you gets up and comes over to you. Melissa sees him coming over and glares at him, almost daring him to hurt you again. He has his head hanging a bit, looking embarrassed and stands beside you and you look up at him.

“Hey y/n, I just wanted to apologize to you. I shouldn’t have said what I said to you, I’m sorry.” He tells you and you nod your head at him. You’re too overwhelmed right now and can’t speak. You finish your lunch without saying another word and Melissa keeps glancing at you, worried about you.

You finish up the day quietly. You get the kids to work on their book report so that it’s silent and you don’t have to talk much. At the end of the day, when your last student was picked up you glance over at Melissa down the hall. You taught first grade so your classrooms are close together.

You can’t help but stare at her. She’s bending over and offering one of her students a high five before waving bye to them to go with their parent. You decide to leave now while she’s distracted, you think that maybe it wasn’t the best to get Melissa involved in your situation and shouldn’t have told her you’re autistic. So many people have had to accommodate you or help you and you feel like you should be able to do it yourself now that you’re an adult.

Melissa sees you look at her with a sad expression on your face before leaving. She can’t help but feel like maybe you won’t come over to her place now. When her last student is leaving with their parent a couple minutes later, she practically books it to the parking lot but sees your car is already gone.

She drives home and gets to work on cooking dinner, hoping you’d show. But then she gets a text from you saying that you won’t be able to make it tonight, and she sighs. She researched autism when you told her a few months ago and she knows that when autistic people get overwhelmed, they hide themselves away. She offered for you to come to her place to de-stress with food and tv, so she does the next best thing. After she finished cooking, she packed it into a container, and brought it with her to your place. She went and knocked on your door.

You answered it not too long later with leggings and loose shirt on. “Melissa? What are you doing here?” You ask her.

“Well since you won’t come over to my place, I thought I’d come to you.” She says with a warm smile and you now feel even more guilty for cancelling on her. “I brought over food I made. So either we can eat here or we can go back to my place. Choice is up to you.” She tells you with a shrug. You decide to go to her place and when you get there she gives you your favourite hoodie of hers and you sit on the couch. You’ve been to her place before and you told her that the plastic felt weird to sit on and she removed it the next day so that you’re comfortable when you go there. “Hey, you don’t have to speak but I just want to know that you’re ok.” She says and you nod. She gives you a plate of the food and you see that it’s her spaghetti and meatballs dish. Your favourite food of hers and you smile at her. She joins you on the couch, sitting next to you and then hands you the remote so you can decide what to watch, you decide on Shrek 3.

You watch the movie while eating, with Melissa right next to you, you in her hoodie, and you finally feel like you’re calming down. You put your head on her shoulder after you put your empty plate on the coffee table and she wraps her arm around you. You continue the movie, quoting some of the lines, and when it plays the ending scene with puss and donkey singing thank you, Melissa gets an idea. She guides you up and leads you to the empty space beside her couch and starts dancing with you. When the chorus comes on she sings it to you “I wanna thank you for lettin me be myself…again” She sings and you laugh. When she says the line again, she spins you while singing. The second chorus comes up “come on sing it with me.” She tells you.

The both of you sing it while dancing “I WANNA THANK YOU FOR LETTIN ME BE MYSELF…AGAIN.” You both sing at the top of your lungs. When it ends you’re both laughing and she hugs you.

“Thank you for letting me be myself.” You tell her and she looks at you with a warm smile and places a lock of hair behind your ear before cupping your cheek.

“It’s not a problem hun, it doesn’t matter to me that you’re autistic you know. You just think differently, and that's alright.”

You look in her eyes and you lean forward and kiss her. Melissa kisses you back and moves her hand from your cheek to the back of your head and places her left hand on your waist. You pull back and look at her with a smile.

“You kissed me back.” You say to her and she nods. “Why?”

“Because I like you. I have for a few months now.” She tells you.

“For how long?” You ask her and she thinks about it.

“Around the new year.” And you look at her in shock.

“But that’s after I told you I was autistic.” You tell her, putting the pieces together. “You knew I was autistic and you still like me?” You question her.

“How would you being autistic make me not like you?” She asks you, confused.

“Because I’m different than other people and have struggles because of it.” You tell her like it’s obvious.

“So? Everyone is different in their own way and everyone has their own struggles.” She tells you. “For example, I have trouble letting people in, because of trust issues. And I can have a short temper too.” She says and you look at her with so much love in your eyes. You kiss her again and she doesn’t hesitate to kiss you back.

When the person says “you may kiss the bride” , she doesn’t hesitate to give you a kiss then either. With a huge smile, she brings you closer to her and gives you a kiss, as wife and wife.

Taglist: @esposadejoyhuerta

@imaginesmultifandoms

@idonothingalldays-blog

@sexysapphicshopowner

@dvrkhcld

Let me know if you want to be added! 🙂

#melissa schemmenti x reader #melissa schemmenti x oc #melissa schemmenti x you #melissa schemmenti #x reader #fanfic

[hatsunemitskislobotomy]

“…𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙞 𝙝𝙖𝙩𝙚 𝙩𝙤 𝙙𝙤 𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙨 𝙩𝙤 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙤𝙣 𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙗𝙞𝙧𝙩𝙝𝙙𝙖𝙮..

𝙝𝙖𝙥𝙥𝙮 𝙗𝙞𝙧𝙩𝙝𝙙𝙖𝙮, 𝙗𝙮 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙬𝙖𝙮…”

╴╴⊹ꮺ˚ ╴╴╴╴╴⊹˚ ╴╴╴╴˚ೃ ╴╴

well that was one way to be broken up with.

she couldn’t even be mad at the guy. he had been very sweet and patient but she had spiraled and started missing texts that turned to missing calls— which turned to missing dates. wasn’t the first time either, she just was that much of an exhausting person to keep up with.

in the sense that she was always behind.

she let out a sigh as she rid herself of his footprints, deleting his texts, deleting any photos, unadding him on socials— the whole nine yards.

but when it came to that dreaded voicemail.

her finger hovered over the red trash can button, taunting her.

and then she pocketed her phone, she supposed it would serve as a reminder.

that it was always her fault.

she rubbed at her face before emerging from her room.

“ah, you’re awake.” her raven haired roommate looked up from his book

“and to think we thought you were just about to sleep through your date.” her snowy haired roommate chimed in from his position laying across the raven’s lap

“ah, about that… i just got broken up with.”

“…”

it was quiet between the three of them, then again when was it not? she never made much efforts to communicate with them past their typical chores and roles in the housework.

the two in a friendlier than most relationship were seeking a third person to help take up the lease and that’s exactly what she did, nothing more nothing less.

and when it got awkward…

“yeah…” she murmured looking at her hands

“do you… want to talk about it?” it was a cheap attempt, she appreciated it nonetheless

“i’d rather not, i think my first proper conversation with you two shouldn’t be me bitching about my ex.”

satoru’s airy laugh sounded as he got up from his lover’s (?) lap.

“please, we wouldn’t be opposed.”

“speak for yourself satoru, only you are a fiend for other people’s affairs.” suguru tsked, closing his book slightly

“but please, if you need someone to talk to— we’re both willing.”

“i thought i was the fiend suguru—��

“you are, i’m offering as a concerned roommate.”

“i’m fine.” her words a lot harsher than she intended

and then came the unconvinced, concerned glances.

“sorry.”

and then she retreated back to her room.

if she kept this up she’d find herself out on the streets.

she let out a sigh, it was what she deserved right? no boyfriend, no roommates, no friends, nothing.

on her birthday no less.

she let out a sigh, she might as well distract from this pitiful day.

————————————————————

nothing beat rearranging your room instead of confronting your feelings.

she shook her head, she didn’t have a right to feel anything more than empty. the only thing that she felt was the need to rearrange her room and rearranged it was.

she needed a new change of scenery, after all she was another year older.

and yet still none the wiser.

the brutality of reality seemed to sting more as one got older.

she sighed, at least she can mope in a clean room.

a knock pulled her from her thoughts.

“it’s open.”

and then there stood her two roommates.

“i don’t think we’ve ever seen your room—ack! ow…”

“seriously satoru?”

“what? it’s true…”

she stared at the two bickering before the raven sat his eyes on her.

“y/n… we wanted to see if you were free later—“

“please, she’s always free—“

a smack, then a whine.

“we’ve realized that you haven’t been properly introduced to the area… we’d love to do you the honors.” he offered a half hearted smile

she supposed it was true, aside from her dates once in a while— she never really was familiar with the area.

“i suppose i can accept.”

“i told you suguru now we have to drag her ou— wait what?”

she chuckled, for the first time in a long time, a genuine chuckle tumbled out from her lips.

the two men were in awe.

“i’ll join your endeavors to wherever, i… i could use the fresh air.” she swallowed

the bright blue eyed man seemed ecstatic as he left her room pumped, the more subdued raven gave her a soft smile before leaving her to get ready in peace.

“thank you for humoring us.”

she should be thanking them, but she wouldn’t say that part out loud… at least not yet.

—————————————————

she couldn’t help but feel a bit awkward as she was wedged between the two men who insisted.

something about her being too small and easily losable in the crowd.

apparently these parts were known for having winter night markets where the cold winter streets would warm to life with street food and vendors.

she hardly had a chance to process the sights and the atmosphere as they dragged her from stall to stall, sampling food, eying trinkets, playing games.

she’d be a liar if she said she wasn’t having fun.

“wait guys— i’m gonna get some of the dango from earlier.” satoru was bouncing away before the two could even respond

“well his dentist certainly has their work cut out for them.”

suguru had to process her snark words a little before letting out a chuckle.

“believe it or not, satoru has the most elaborate brushing routine that I’ve ever seen. he’d rather die than develop any sensitivity to sweets.” he hummed

“i see.” she hummed, starting to rub her hands a bit

“getting cold?”

“a little, it’s fine— i’ll probably invest in gloves one of these days…” she sighed a little

“here, let me.”

he gently took her hands in his, letting her much smaller hands rest nice and warm in his own.

“your hands always this warm?”

“i’d have to say quite the opposite for you, and here i thought satoru’s was bad.” he chuckled lightly

“speaking of— if it’s within my boundaries… what are you two?” the words just tumbled out of her mouth

they weren’t married, and they seemed very comfortable in each other platonically as well.

it was obvious that they loved each other, but she couldn’t help but wonder in what way?

he tilted his head slightly.

“perhaps soulmates, life partners. he’s practically my everything.” he smiled

“oi! quit being so cryptic!” suddenly satoru was back with his dango in one hand and the other around the raven

“he’s my person— not much else to it.”

“that wasn’t any better than mine in the slightest.”

“yeah but you go into the poetics of it too much, just call it as it is.”

and she was left with more questions than she had answered, but in a way she sort of got what they meant.

they were each other’s person.

“i’m glad you two have each other.” she gave them a smile

“ah shit— she just got broken up with… are we being too much?”

“satoru!”

and there it was again, that airy laugh that made the boys still. they were still in awe that she had it in her, not when she constantly looked miserable in their eyes.

“guys, guys it’s fine— you don’t have to change anything for my sake.” she sighed, a small smile still playing at her lips

“ugh you’re so sweet! your loser boyfriend didn’t even deserve you like that!” satoru whined as he shook her a little

“especially dumping you on y—“

an elbow to the ribs and his hands were immediately off you.

“suguru…!” he groaned

“you have a big mouth.”

“oh but you like that~”

another elbow.

she couldn’t help but snicker at their antics, one moment they were like an old couple in love and another moment it was almost as if their were your typical best friends who’ve known each other forever.

she thinks she’s starting to understand what suguru meant by them being each other’s person a little bit better.

“sorry about talking about your relationships so carelessly.” suguru gave her a sheepish smile

“it’s alright, nothing that wasn’t my own fault.” she shrugged

they looked at each other.

she couldn’t just leave it at that.

“i have the tendency to just… withdraw..” she bit the inside of her cheek

“at some point it’s exhausting for the other person, dealing with me disappearing every so often— although it’s not intentional… it’s not hard for someone else to think i’ve lost interest or i’m being unfaithful.” she gave the two a half hearted shrug

“i suppose there’s just a lot i need to work on myself before i put myself out there.”

the two seemed conflicted, it was good she could recognize the areas she needs to work on…

“…but aren’t you being too harsh on yourself?” suguru blurted out, satoru immediately nodding

“there’s nothing wrong with working on yourself… but that doesn’t mean you don’t deserve to love and be loved.” satoru gave her a look

she knew they were right, but sometimes it was just easier to be miserable without having to think about another— only thinking about herself and her misery. she was selfish like that.

and they could tell by the conflict that flashed on her face.

before the conversation could progress any further she felt something cold prick at her nose, and then she looked up.

a gentle snow was falling.

“well would you look at that.”

she wore a wistful expression as she looked up, letting the snowflakes gather on her lashes as the warmth of her skin melted the ones on her face.

perhaps it was the universe letting her have this one thing, the first snow.

suguru and satoru seemed thrilled as well.

“suguru— look!”

“i see it satoru.”

but everyone seemed so far away as it was just her and the gentle snow.

it was beautiful.

but beautiful things hardly last.

“…!”

she looked back at the two who gave her a look, suddenly she was back on the busy night market street.

“you’re shivering.”

she didn’t notice until another one wracked her body.

before she could speak she felt herself being dragged along by satoru, suguru trailing behind the two.

“wha..? where are we going?”

“somewhere to warm up!”

——————————————————

when the two dragged her off, she expected for them to go back to their shared apartment or a restaurant.

but she was sitting down on a couch in a dim room with a microphone in hands while colored lights danced around the room.

“i… i have a few questions—”

“come on! it’s nice and warm and you can sing your heart out about your shitty ex!”

“he wasn’t shitty though, it was my fault we broke up.”

“that doesn’t mean you’re not allowed to feel some type of way about it.”

which was true.

“come on you know the classic breakup songs right? it’ll get whatever off your chest—“

and before she could protest satoru was already queuing up a song.

and that’s how the rest of the night went, although hesitant at first it wasn’t long before the three taking turns in singing songs and ballads. from cheesy classics to songs of yearning and heartbreak that suguru sang a bit too well for satoru’s comfort.

“i’ll never make you feel like that!” he whined clinging on to the raven who gave him an exasperated look

“i know.”

she couldn’t help but chuckle at the sight, it was nice to be around other people.

“i’m going to the restroom.” suguru hummed before peeling satoru off of him

“can i come with~”

“no.”

she snickered a bit at satoru’s clingy behavior.

“he’s so mean to me!” he huffed

“i think he knew if you two went together you wouldn’t be coming back out any time soon.” she mused

he let out a dramatic sigh.

“i suppose you’re right.”

“also we couldn’t leave your mopey self all by your lonesome.” he gave her a little nudge

she shook her head with a smile.

“i think i would’ve managed.”

“yeah yeah don’t lie— you’ve been all sad about your lame ex. y’know if you said no earlier sugu and i would’ve just dragged you out one way or another.”

“i’d like to see you try.”

“suguru manhandles me on the daily— we’d get ya.” he snickered

a comfortable silence fell between the two.

“do you feel better?”

she pondered his question a little.

“i do…”

but.

“but..?” he tilted his head

“it’s not even the breakup at this point…” she sighed a little

it was the prospect of getting older, and not a damn thing changed.

life itself was a fickle thing, ever changing.

so why hasn’t she?

gripping onto the ways of her past, she joked that she peaked when she was younger and it was all downhill from there… when did it start being actually true?

her past, her youth— it took all the best parts of her.

and now she was someone despicable enough to be broken up with on their birthday—

she felt cold hands on her cheeks, snapping her from her thoughts.

“you got lost in your head.” bright blue eyes staring down on her as she blinked

just how long did she spend ruminating looking like a complete nutcase in front of him?

“suguru was right— your hands are cold.” she mumbled out

“you alright?”

“i’m not sure yet.”

“…you wanna sing one more song?”

she sighed.

“pass me the mic.”

she got up to go queue up the next song, her back towards satoru— he didn’t need to see her inner turmoil boil up once more.

she heard the door click open, she figured suguru was back.

“ah— suguru. you wanna join the last—“

the words on her lips died as she turned around to meet his gaze, only for it to fall on a cake.

a birthday cake.

“welp— cat’s out of the bag! woooo! happy birthday!”

she was still processing it.

“satoru that’s hardly appropriate,” suguru rolled his eyes at him before turning to face her once more

“come, sit down.”

so she sat down on the couch in between the two as suguru set the cake down in front of her on the table.

“we weren’t sure what flavor you’re into but as a self proclaimed confectionery connoisseur, all the cakes from this bakery are really good so it should be alright.” satoru hummed as he pulled out candles from his pocket and expertly placed them around the cake

she finally found her words.

“how… how did you know…?”

suguru gave her a small smile.

“well at first we didn’t, but then we did some extensive research—“

“we were snooping around your socials.”

“…yeah that.”

her lips couldn’t help but quirk up at that.

“we knew something was up when you bothered to speak more than five words to us.” satoru shrugged before being met with a smack to the head

“owww…! it’s true!”

“forgive satoru, he’s bad at handling delicate situations.”

“i’m just saying it how it is! you looked more down than usual and we snooped around! can we talk about how shitty your ex is for dumping you on your birthday?” he ranted which earned him another smack

she was overwhelmed with emotion, she didn’t even realize the tears that started to stain her cheeks.

“you made her cry.”

“shit— i’m sorry!”

“no no,” she wiped at her eyes with the back of her hand

“i’m grateful i promise, just processing… y’know?”

“we hope you know that you deserve this, having a birthday worth celebrating.” suguru put a hand on her shoulder

she offered him a watery smile.

“hug? you look like you could use one.” satoru offered

typically she would’ve refused, she wasn’t big on physical gestures but she couldn’t stop herself from nodding softly wiping her face some more.

she let herself be caged in between the two, taking in their scents and warmth. she relaxed into their holds, letting out a sigh once her sniffling subsided.

“thank you.” she whispered softly

“i know we’re still sort of strangers but we’ve grown a liking to you, if you ever think you’re alone especially here… we’re here for you.” suguru murmured

“you’ve already been welcomed in our lives aside from the roommate formality stuff, it’s just up to you if you want us in yours.” satoru chuckled lightly ruffling her hair a little

“i’d… like that.”

and they held on for a little bit longer, she held on for a little bit longer.

“now how about we blow out some candles?”

❀° ┄───╮

this one is dedicated to all the girlies who feel some type of way (wanting to die lol) on their birthdays, including me today :,)

╰───┄ °❀

#happy bithday to me #jjk #jujutsu kaisen #jjk drabbles #jjk geto #jjk gojo #satosugu x reader fluff #platonic satosugu x reader #satoru gojo #suguru geto #satosugu #jjk x reader #lowkey self insert whoops

[nihilnovisubsole]

Because of your latest post: not sure if you’ve answered this before, but how does someone even entertain the idea of writing for the game dev industry? Did you start out on indie games or just write before and show them your work? Since it’s such a subjective field etc

if i have, it bears repeating! here's a rough timeline of what i did. never discount the value of luck and the kindness of friends

2016: i was doing a random freelance transcription job when i saw @theivorytowercrumbles post about writing for voltage. they reblogged the studio's open casting call for new writers. since it was so lenient - no experience, fanfic samples allowed - i applied. they hired me for their new project, but let me go after a trial period, citing that the tone of my writing was a bad fit for that game. i foundered for a while after that. i don't take rejection well. i started dangerous crowns to try to make money from writing some other way.

2017: one of voltage's producers reached out to me and said they'd started another project that i was a good fit for. she felt letting me go was a mistake and wanted to snap me back up. i said yes, i mean, are you kidding? so i started on reiner's route.

2018-2019: i kept at it. i took on diego's route. it occurred to me that i wasn't making very much money, but i liked my coworkers, and i was building my portfolio, so who cared? i also finished dangerous crowns, and a handful of people bought it, but certainly not enough to support myself or anything.

early 2020: between the pay and creative differences with voltage's team, it started to sink in that i needed to find other work. i applied to the few open game writer jobs i could find, but with only mobile romance in my portfolio, i got nowhere. i threw in dangerous crowns samples. i tried to network on twitter. i still never made it to the interview phase. i foundered for a while again.

late 2020: the voltage writers went on strike. i gave a statement to a journalist that one of obsidian's narrative designers noticed. we became acquaintances over it. another old friend of mine threw me a life raft in the form of a different contract, better paying, on a non-romance indie game. i took it gladly. i added a twine game to my portfolio, too. i kept applying. i got a few interviews, but something still didn't click.

2021: i finally accepted that i needed formal help. i did a portfolio workshop. i got resume coaching. the coach passed my name to a writer on the company of heroes team. they liked me! they also paid me more money than i'd ever seen in my life. at the same time, obsidian advertised a narrative job opening. i applied on a lark and let my ND pal know i was doing so. why not, right? college-new-vegas-fan me would want me to. they rejected me, but not before i passed their writing test and two interviews. i had nothing to lose at that point, so i told my ND pal that i was bummed. she gave me a golden piece of advice: "you came really close. try again."

2022: obsidian had another narrative opening. i threw myself at it. i was now going to annoy them into hiring me. since i was a known quantity from applying six months before, they had no qualms about interviewing me again. this time, it worked out, and i've been there ever since.

what's the common denominator here? i met people who thought i was all right and gave me a hand up when i needed it. the standard advice is to work with a community of your peers instead of trying to get your heroes to senpai-notice you. it's not that they don't care - they just have their own thing going on, and your peers could be the heroes of tomorrow if the right project comes along. i also found the portfolio was the end-all-be-all when it came to job hunting. i went through a grieving process with that! i'm not afraid to admit it. i wish studios had held my degree or dangerous crowns in higher regard, but i just had to make games in a wider variety of genres, and that was that.

one caveat: narrative is a really saturated field right now. a lot of people want to write, and there aren't many openings. it's not uncommon for big studios to get hundreds of applicants. larian probably got over a thousand for the job they posted recently. i feel awful saying that, because i don't want to discourage you, but i'd feel worse if i didn't let you know what you were getting into. if it's something you want, you should try! keep an open mind about the random projects you may find. you never know where they'll take you.

#asks #anon #workjob

[tonyspank]

CHAPTER THREE | RECKLESS

Tara Carpenter x G!P Reader x Female OC

Warnings: kissing, fluff, short chapter because i want u guys to be happy one last time

series masterlist | main masterlist | previous chapter | next chapter

SEVEN MONTHS LATER

It's been seven months since Tara and Sam brought you back to their community. You've settled into a routine and formed close bonds with the people there. Life has become more stable, and you feel a sense of belonging that you haven't felt in a long time. The community has become your new family, and you couldn't be more grateful for Tara and Sam.

Sometimes you'd go on supply runs; other times you'd take out groups of walkers, clearing the area around the community to ensure everyone's safety. The once terrifying world has become a place where you can make a difference, and you're determined to protect your new family at all costs.

You've grown close to Sidney, Tara, and Ethan the most. Sidney has become the aunt you've never had, always offering wise advice and comforting you during tough times. Ethan has become like a brother to you, always looking out for your well-being and making sure you never feel alone.

While Tara...she's... you don't even know how to explain it. She's a close friend, but at times it feels like there's something more to that, a deeper connection that you can't quite put into words. There's a magnetic pull between the two of you, an unspoken understanding that transcends friendship. It's both exhilarating and terrifying, leaving you questioning the boundaries of your relationship and what it could potentially become.

But, you don't want to risk anything. Especially since Iris is here. It feels weird to move on from her because, since the start of this apocalypse, the only thing you could think of was Iris and how much you missed your girlfriend. But, it doesn't seem like she feels the same way. You'd catch her and Chad being intimate and affectionate, making it clear that she has moved on.

Heather told you that Chad and Iris have been a complicated couple since they met at the community. Iris was stuck on you while Chad was pursuing her relentlessly. He even saved her life one day on a dangerous mission, which made her start to develop feelings for him. It's painful to accept, but it seems like Iris has found happiness with Chad, and it's time for you to do the same.

It's hard to accept that Iris has chosen someone else, but you know deep down that you can't force someone to feel a certain way. You deserve someone who loves you wholeheartedly and reciprocates your feelings. It may be difficult now, but with time, you will find someone who appreciates and cherishes you just as much as you do them.

"Ouch!" You grunt out, landing on your back. Ethan smiles at you, panting as he holds out a hand to help you up. You send him a playful glare before taking his hand and allowing him to pull you up. "How are you so good at close-range combat?"

You ask, still catching your breath. Ethan chuckles and says, "Cop dad. He taught me a few moves growing up," he explains, wiping the sweat off his forehead. "But ever since, you know, the dead and stuff, he's been on my ass about it."

You hum in response, "That's nice. Officer Bailey seems like a nice guy...when he's not sulking around the place." Ethan nods in agreement, a hint of sadness in his eyes. "Yeah, he's been through a lot. Losing Mom really hit him hard. But he's trying his best to keep us safe and sane in this messed up world."

You give him a sympathetic smile, understanding the weight Officer Bailey carries on his shoulders. Despite the tough exterior, you can see the love and dedication he has for his family.

"C'mon! Chop, chop." Dewey says, interrupting your conversation and urging you two to spar more. You and Ethan exchange a knowing glance before playfully rolling your eyes at Dewey's impatience. You hold up your fists again, ready to continue the sparring session.

After about twenty more minutes of sparring, the session is finally over, and you're sitting cross-legged on the grass, catching your breath. Dewey walks over, a satisfied grin on his face, and pats both you and Ethan on the back. "Great job, guys," he says. "You're really improving." You exchange a proud smile with Ethan as Dewey walks away.

"I have a very serious question." You look at Ethan, curious about what he's going to ask. "What is it?" you reply, eager to hear what's on his mind. "Did you take my pudding from inventory?" You raise an eyebrow in surprise at Ethan's question. "Your pudding? No, I didn't take it," you answer honestly, wondering why he would think that.

Ethan thins out his lips, eyeing you suspiciously. He then sighs as he senses your genuine confusion. "It must've been Chad then! Ever since we've been returning from supply runs, every single one of my sweet snacks has disappeared." You tilt your head, considering Ethan's accusation. "Chad? Are you sure it's him?" you ask, curious about the possible culprit.

Ethan nods, frustration evident on his face. "I've noticed him eyeing my snacks before, and he always seems to have a guilty look when I ask about them," he explains. You hum a bit before turning your head to Tara, who was walking down the community's street, looking bored as ever.

"I'll talk to you later, E." Ethan nods in response, a small smile playing on his lips as he watches you jog over to Tara. "Hey, Tara."

"Hey, what's up?" Tara responds, smiling at you. "Not much, just wanted to ask if you maybe wanna hang out outside the walls for a bit." Tara shrugs, her smile never fading. "Sure, why not?"

"Cool, let me just shower, and I'll be ready to go." You quickly make your way back to your house, taking a quick shower before meeting up with Tara again. She greets you with a warm smile, her excitement evident in her eyes. "Ready?" she asks, her voice filled with anticipation.

You nod eagerly, "Mhm." You wave at Officer Hicks, who salutes back to you, opening the gate for you and Tara to exit the walls. You and Tara start walking away from the community, stealing glances at each other every now and then.

"I actually have a surprise for you." You say, breaking the comfortable silence. Tara raises an eyebrow, looking at you. Curiosity sparkles in her eyes as she waits for you to reveal the surprise. "Well, remember how you mentioned you liked horror movies?" you begin, a mischievous grin spreading across your face.

"I found this abandoned movie theatre not too far from here. Ethan helped me clean it up and fix the projector. We can have our own private horror movie marathon today."

Tara's eyes widen with thrill as she realizes the surprise. "You're lying!" she exclaims, her smile matching your mischievous grin. The two of you quicken your pace, eager to reach the movie theatre and begin your thrilling movie night.

"What's your favorite scary movie?" You ask Tara in a Ghostface mask, trying your best to imitate the iconic killer from the Stab franchise. Tara giggles and playfully pretends to be scared, but then responds, "Hmm, I think I'll have to go with It Follows. Elevated horror is where it's at."

You take off the mask, tilting your head. "Really? Elevated horror? What about Friday the 13th? Jason is a classic." Tara shrugs, a mischievous glint in her eyes. "Sure, Jason is iconic, but I prefer the psychological depth and thought-provoking themes of films like It Follows. It's all about the slow-burning suspense for me."

"You're lucky you're cute." Tara chuckles and playfully nudges you. "Well, I guess my good looks give me an advantage in our horror movie debates." She winks, teasingly adding, "But hey, maybe one day I'll convince you to appreciate elevated horror too."

"Blah, blah, blah." You say, walking further into the movie theatre, ending up at a snack bar. You lean against it as Tara continues her argument about elevated horror. "Jason is just a mindless slasher. It Follows actually makes you think and keeps you on the edge of your seat." Tara playfully sticks her tongue out at you, daring you to challenge her taste in horror movies.

Rolling your eyes, you retort, "Please, Tara. A classic slasher film like Friday the 13th is a timeless masterpiece. It's all about the thrill and suspense, not overanalyzing every single detail. But hey, I'll give It Follows a chance if it means shutting you up for once." Tara giggles, knowing that you're just playing along and secretly enjoying the ongoing debates between you two.

You turn around, facing the snack bar, and reach for the old and expired candy box, that's probably been there since before the apocalypse. Your heart skips a beat when Tara does the same, your hands touching.

You both exchange a quick glance, causing a slight blush to creep onto your cheeks. It's in these small moments that you realize there might be something more than just friendly banter between you and Tara.

"You can have them." You tell Tara, chuckling a bit. She smiles, placing the box of candy in your hand. "Take them." You shake your head, "No, uh," you interrupt yourself with your own laugh. "If you want them, you have them." You set down the box of candy in front of Tara, who quickly picks it up, holding it in front of you.

"You think I want these?" Tara raises an eyebrow playfully, her eyes sparkling. She breaks eye contact with you as you stare at her, a lingering smile on your face. "Kind of..."

"They're like one hundred years old." she jokes, setting them back down. "Maybe that's your thing," she mutters, finally glancing back at your eyes.

The two of you stare at each other, caught in a moment of playful tension. The air between you is charged with unspoken words and a hint of curiosity. It's as if time has momentarily frozen, allowing the anticipation to build. Both of you are aware of the unspoken connection, wondering where it might lead.

It's been a while since you've been truly happy with someone, so happy that your cheeks hurt from smiling so much, so lost in the trance of the woman in front of you. She was perfect. Her perfect hair, her perfect eyebrows, her perfect eyes, her perfect nose, her perfect lips. Everything about her seemed meticulously crafted to perfection.

You smile wider at yourself, glancing between her eyes and her lips. Tara's heart has never felt this alive, pulsating with newfound energy. She knows she's attracted to you, that much is sure, but there's something more than just physical attraction.

It's the way you listen intently to every word she says and the way you laugh at her jokes as if they're the funniest things you've ever heard. There's a connection between you that goes beyond surface-level beauty, and it's that deep emotional bond that truly sets you apart from anyone else she's ever met.

But she's also scared. She's scared to get attached to you more than she already is and lose you to the walkers that lurk in the shadows. The fear of losing you to something beyond her control haunts her, making her hesitant to fully embrace the connection she feels.

She knows that the world is unpredictable and filled with dangers, and the thought of losing you to those uncertainties terrifies her. It's not that she doesn't want to fully embrace the connection, but rather, she's grappling with her own vulnerabilities and the fear of being left alone in a world that feels increasingly unstable.

However, another part of her says to do it. Take the risk and allow her to be happy, even if it's just for a second. Tara takes a deep breath, "I actually—"

She's cut off by you connecting your lips with hers, and in that moment, all her fears and uncertainties melt away. The warmth of your embrace reassures her that maybe, just maybe, taking the risk was worth it after all. Her hands grip your face, pulling you closer if that were possible, you wrap your arms around her body, holding her tightly as if she's going to fade away.

As your lips part, an intoxicating sense of contentment lingers in the air. Tara stares into your eyes, a hint of tears reflecting the depth of her gratitude. In that electrifying moment, she realizes that she has found something she never thought possible—a passion that is boundless and worth every ounce of risk. With a smile curving on her lips, she whispers, "What took you so long?"

You chuckle softly, brushing a strand of hair behind her ear. "I finally thought of that heartfelt thank you," you reply, your voice filled with bliss. Tara giggles, her laughter filling the air like music. "I can't believe you remember that."

She leans in closer, bringing you into another quick and simple kiss. When she pulls away, her eyes glance between yours, her hand trailing your facial features. "I'm scared of losing you."

You gently take her hand in yours, reassuringly squeezing it. "I promise you, Tara, I'm not going anywhere," you say sincerely, your voice filled with love and determination. She smiles softly, her fears momentarily eased by your words.

"I actually do have a question." You tilt your head, waiting for her to continue. "Was...Iris the only person you had before...the outbreak?" You pause for a moment, memories of the past flooding your mind.

"Kind of...yeah. It's always just been Iris and her family. I actually met Iris a few months after my adoptive mother passed away...she was the first person I connected with after such a difficult loss. We quickly became each other's support system, and we started dating a bit after that.." You pause, a bittersweet smile on your face, as you recall the bond you share with Iris. "I'm just glad she's okay."

Tara nods, her eyes filled with understanding. "Thank you for telling me." You appreciate Tara's empathy and the safe space she has created for you to share your story. It feels good to have someone who listens and understands without judgment.

"You're finally back!" Heather says, bursting through your front door. You turn toward Heather, a smile spreading across your face. "I am." Heather lets out a loud groan, "Then can you please watch Iris? I'm supposed to be hanging out with Amber."

You furrow your eyebrows, "What's wrong with Iris?" You ask, concerned about Heather's sudden change in attitude towards Iris. Heather sighs and rolls her eyes, "She's sick, and she's been acting really cranky all day. I just need a break from her for a little while. So! Now that you're off your date with tiny Tara, can you watch her?"

You blush, "It wasn't a date," you mutter, not convincing Heather one bit. "But sure, I can watch Iris for a bit. Is there anything specific I should know or do while taking care of her?"

Heather shakes her head and says, "Not really, just make sure she takes her medicine and gets plenty of rest. She's been running a fever, so keep an eye on that too." You nod, assuring Heather that you'll take good care of Iris.

Heather exits your house, causing Amber to rise, "She said yes?" Amber asks her girlfriend, who nods in response. "Mhm," Amber continues, "I can't believe you're still trying to play cupid with Y/N and Iris. I'm pretty sure Y/N really likes Tara."

"Well, you never know. Sometimes feelings can change unexpectedly. Besides, Y/N did agree to take care of Iris, so maybe there's still a chance for them." Amber rolls her eyes playfully and says, "Sure, babe."

You knock on Iris's door, and a faint, "Come in." follows your knock. As you enter, you see Iris lying in bed, a wet washcloth on her forehead. You walk over to Iris and ask, "How are you feeling?" She looks up at you with a weak smile and replies, "I'm still not feeling great, but the washcloth is helping a bit." You sit down beside her and say, "I brought you some soup. Maybe it'll help you feel better."

You help her sit up, supporting her back with a pillow. Iris gratefully accepts the soup and takes a few spoonfuls, savoring the warmth and nourishment. She looks at you appreciatively and says, "Thank you so much for taking care of me." You smile and reassure her, "Of course, I'll always be here for you."

"Did Heather set you up to this?" She asks, a faint smile on her lips. You chuckle and shake your head, "Yeah, but still, I just wanted to make sure you're okay." Iris's smile widens, and she says, "Well, I'm lucky to have you in my life."

"Remember when Heather got sick and we all took turns taking care of her? It's nice to see that we have each other's backs." Iris says, not making eye contact with you. You start laughing, And it turns out she was faking the whole thing."

Iris's brows furrow, "What?" Your eyes widen, and your jaw drops. "Yeah, she admitted it later. I didn't know she didn't tell you." Iris's smile fades, replaced by a look of disbelief. "I can't believe she would do something like that. That's really messed up."

"I mean...she did have to run the mile that day, I'd do the same thing." You shrug, trying to lighten the mood. "Well, I guess we all have our own ways of avoiding running." Iris chuckles, shaking her head. "Yeah, but faking sick behind my back? That's a whole new level." You both laugh, finding peace in the moment.

Iris puts down her soup and stares at you. "You look happy." You smile back at Iris and reply, "Yeah, I guess I am. It feels good to just relax and have a laugh with you. You look like shit, though."

Iris chuckles and rolls her eyes. "Thanks, I appreciate the honesty. It's been a rough day." You nod sympathetically, understanding that it's because of her sickness. "Maybe you should try and sleep." You suggest, helping her lie back down. Iris sighs and nods, her eyes showing exhaustion.

"Yeah, maybe you're right. I could use some rest." You tuck her in and dim the lights, creating a soothing atmosphere. "I'll stay here with you until you fall asleep," you offer, hoping to provide some comfort during her rough day.

"You could lay down too..." Iris mumbles, her voice trailing off as she starts to drift off. You hesitate for a moment, considering her suggestion, before deciding to join her. As you lie down next to her, you feel a sense of closeness and reassurance, knowing that your presence brings her some ease.

Iris places her head on your chest, listening to the steady rhythm of your heartbeat. The sound lulls her into a deeper state of relaxation, and you can feel her tension slowly melting away. You gently stroke her hair, and mutter, "You better not get me sick."

Iris chuckles softly, her voice barely audible as she whispers, "Don't worry, I'll take care of you if that happens."

When Iris finally falls asleep, it's late at night. You slip from her grasp and leave, making your way to the inventory to see if there's any tea that could help her. Your heart drops when you see a figure standing in the dimly lit room, their back turned towards you.

They turn around quickly, and you let out a sigh, allowing yourself to relax. "Richie, you scared the hell out of me." Richie chuckles and apologizes, "Sorry about that. I didn't mean to startle you." Your eyes fall to the basket in his hands.

He notices speaking up, "Gale asked me to get this." You hum, "Do you have any tea? Iris is sick." Richie nods sympathetically and says, "Yeah, yeah. Here." He reaches into the basket and hands you a small packet of tea. "I hope this helps," he says with a warm smile.

Richie then walks away, basket in hand, leaving you standing there, thankful and confused. Maybe he was the one who stole Ethan's snacks.

#reader insert #wattpad #tonyspank #jenna ortega #jenna ortega x reader #jenna marie ortega #jenna ortega x y/n #jenna ortega x you #jenna ortega fluff #tara carpenter scream #tara carpenter x g!p reader #tara carpenter x y/n #tara carpenter x reader #tara carpenter #tara carpenter x gn!reader #tara carpenter x you #tara carpenter x fem reader #tara carpenter fluff

[majimasleftasscheek]

Have you played Yakuza 6 yet? If so ya got any kazumaji head canons based off the events of the game?

I absolutely love your ideas for them and I am beyond upset that Majima was barley in the game. Or even mentioned that much.

They did the boi dirty in this game, I swear.

*clenches my ass hard enough to shit diamonds*

oh I have OPINIONS about 6 I'll tell you that but it is good fodder for the kazumaji agenda 👀 I'mma be kinda rambly in this but I promise it all ties together kdjfjkldfkldf

so we all know Kiryu goes off to find Haruka and because I'm a big fan of dadjima, I can only imagine Kiryu lets him know while he's stuck in jail and Majima's just like WHAT

so Kiryu does a lot of self reflection but acting upon it is another matter. I can see Majima chastising him, saying she ran away cuz that's all Kiryu ever does (part of him is still pissy about him leaving in y3) and she's never had a healthy role model other than the king of hypocrisy. Kiryu would go on about how it's just to protect people yada yada but Majima would be like my guy, you left a bunch of kids in the care of your daughter who should not be parenting for you. you refuse any and all help because you think you can do it all on your own. you left me with Daigo who you said I wouldn't be babysitting AND YET—

I just want Majima to absolutely rail into him about how self serving he's acted despite better intentions. like of course Haruka ran away, look how much pressure she was under, what she went through in the idol bizz (maybe I'm a loser but I did not like Haruka's part in y5 that shit icked me), what you (Kiryu) do every time you feel like a burden to people. how naïve it was to think any part of Kiryu's past would leave him behind just because he wanted it to. how his lone wolf thing impedes on everybody else. how in 5 he literally says he needs to stop running from his past and he does it anyway. this game FRUSTRATES ME rrhrrhhrhrr KIRYU FRUSTRATES ME ACK. but also I have a thing for Majima just being angry at him, to actually lash out and spew all those feelings of being left behind or being refused to let help because Kiryu's stubborn. how he let himself be used all those years to help Kiryu out just because he asked and now once again Kiryu's off on his own, never changing his tune about how he doesn't wanna rely on people. Majima's not perfect either and frankly he communicates like shit too but I just want that RAGE to get out and explore how Kiryu would hear him but never listen. makes it all the more tragic when he finds out Kiryu "died."

*tho I must note, as much as it does irritate me, 6 makes sense entirely for Kiryu's character lol. nothing he does in it surprises me in the slightest so while I'm not a fan of the story, it's pretty fitting for him since he's the downfall of his own story half the time. and it's not so simple as just saying Kiryu's to blame. he's constantly forced to deal with shit just as much as he wants to be left alone. he struggles and he tries hard I'll give him that. I don't think he's a bad person for what he aimed to do in 6 but he's not infallible either. and sometimes it's just par for the course. like how he makes the compromise at the end of the game to disappear so his family can be at peace all the while in his history, he's had major problems doing what he's told - never truly disappearing anyway, going about whatever's gonna happen in gaiden. could you imagine if Haruka caught wind that some resting bitch face motherfucker is beating the shit outta armies somewhere? could you imagine her finding out that Kiryu left again?

honestly I think his character is really interesting cuz of this. he has good intentions and I feel like to him there's some expectation that people should understand this, that people should accept his choices. I think it's fun to explore how others react to that - how it's in a way offensive, that Kiryu thinks he knows what's best and how to handle it as if he has all the power and say. how pissed people feel about him shoving them away for the sake of their safety, etc. I don't think he'd listen to Majima tbh but I think it's important that someone unafraid of Kiryu's dumbassery would lay it out how it is to him in a way that cuts, more so than Haruka, Date or like Akiyama could.

ANYWAY, Majima's mad at him lol but can't really do anything atm due to the surrounding circumstances. I like to think he's got some of the Majima family watching out for Kiryu and Haruka if they happened to see them. Nishida at least cuz ain't no one gonna arrest a cutie patootie like him. it's not much but it's a little peace of mind. Majima knows Kiryu's reckless as all hell so he's worried and doubly annoyed that Kiryu doesn't care (about his own safety or that other people are concerned for him).

so since Majima has a fat 5 minutes in the whole game, there's not much to say about his involvement overall (other than oopsie stuck in jail) but I've had some thoughts about what all the jimas³ are doing in the meantime.

all the jimas are grouped together because I said so even tho realistically they'd prolly be separated lol. Daigo and Saejima are handling things well enough but Majima's bouncing off the walls in boredom and nothing irks him more than being stuck in one spot while Kiryu's out probably getting hit over the head with a stop sign and refusing medical attention. Daigo's losing his mind but he can agree Kiryu's bullheaded and talking about that keeps Majima distracted. Saejima does his part in trying to get Majima's mind off things now that they have all the time in the world to catch up on whatever.

time passes and I'm rewriting the part in 6 where they show up at the end cuz I live in a fantasy world.

Kiryu "dies" and suddenly the three of them are released early, no doubt knowing his death had something to do with it. Daigo gets Kiryu's letter and Majima makes some joke about Kiryu's literacy but a quick scan of the letter makes Daigo's face drop. he reads it and Majima doesn't think it's real. he doesn't know how to feel. even Saejima is in disbelief. but the letter is vague. it's conjecture written by Kiryu of his own death so there's a chance he's fine. Kiryu's fine, he's always fine. he's been shot and stabbed a million times, he's fine.

but it's not long till it's confirmed by Date. Daigo's skeptical cuz his inner punkass doesn't trust cops. Saejima's on the same page but Majima's in full denial whilst also believing it to be true. his reaction is immediate and violent. he wants something to be done, he wants revenge but Daigo wants to follow Kiryu's wish to avoid war. Majima's so outraged he frankly couldn't give less of a shit about Kiryu's wishes so it's up to Saejima to wrangle him back *insert a dramatic fight here.* Majima gets his ass beat and he's just a mess. things move fast though - the fate of the clan is up in the air and he just couldn't care. but Daigo needs him and for that he pulls it together, just barely.

fast forward to when the jimas go into hiding. they get set up in a lil safehouse via Nick Ogata. I like to see it as a basic bitch type of place, very out of the way, very ignorable but the inside is nice enough. they have to stay cooped up as much as possible and it drives Majima insane. he's fidgety, always pacing. Saejima tries to calm him down and it works for a time until Majima falls into another slump and repeats.

they took a few things with them that they could, mostly small stuff, some clothes and the like. Majima brought along a few of Kiryu's things, namely some pocket cars and a shirt. he wears it often, being very against washing it. Daigo's too stressed to notice but Saejima watches Majima just break down into someone he doesn't know. he's tired, closed off, guilt ridden. Saejima starts to think this is who Majima was after getting out of the Hole. a shell of a person taking blame for things out of his control. losing the will to care for himself as some sort of self imposed punishment for not doing more. seething in silence in the powerlessness.

his beard grows scraggly, his hair is unkept and the circles under his eye grows darker everyday. his behavior mimics his Sotenbori days where everything was for Saejima, all he could think about was Saejima, how he failed him, how if he tried hard enough he could see him again. it's not the case with Kiryu though. he didn't even get to see the body himself.

he's always on his phone reliving memories through photos and conversations. he freaks out when anyone touches the pocket cars and eventually the shirt gets worn out. he's spiraling while the others look on, unsure how to deal with someone whose entire personality revolves around having a fake one.

Saejima takes initiative. maybe he's seen Majima like this before or maybe he hasn't. doesn't matter because he gives Majima a bit of tough love, telling him to get a grip. telling him that Kiryu wouldn't want to see him like this and, under his breath, he needs him in better shape so they can beat the shit outta whoever was responsible. it's not easy of course. it takes Majima awhile to learn how to live again and frankly he doesn't want to talk about Kiryu but Saejima forces him to - to get comfortable with mentioning him, enjoying the memories they had. letting him know it's okay to be vulnerable. it's not a kind or pleasant recovery but it's there. it's helping.

and perhaps some time under supervision, he goes to see Haruka and meets Haruto for the first time. he tries to keep a strong façade for her but she can see right through him and gets one of those rare moments where he's just quiet. where he's real. she catches him up on things and it's a rough one for the both of them, especially since he has to keep the visit short. she doesn't bother asking him where he's going afterward but he promises to keep in touch and that he does. she sends him a lot of photos and videos of the family and he backseat-parents Yuta whenever possible. Haruka's never been a fan of always having Kiryu at arms length but this arrangement helps her deal with the long distance since there's effort on both ends to stay close.

Majima's not used to having others around to help him cope but he eases into it decently enough without the Tojo Clan on his shoulders. he even gets along better with Daigo who has time now to focus more on himself and the grunge within his soul. he's a silly lil dork and that charm reminds him of Kiryu but in a way that doesn't send him spiraling. he starts to see all reminders of Kiryu in a more hopeful light, one that brings back his energy. for most of their home confinement, Majima wouldn't even go out as Goromi since half his confidence came from Kiryu's support. but now and then, with Saejima and Daigo backing him, he can tiptoe a bit back into his fav dresses, ones that Kiryu gave him, ones that hurt to put on because of the baggage they carry. he doesn't even have his wigs anymore so he assembles what he can, how he can into something he knows Kiryu would have called pretty regardless. it stills hurts but it helps.

but, he'll always dip back into the pain of it all. missing intimacy and things taken for granted. he regrets his last words with Kiryu were criticisms knowing he's not perfect himself. maybe he's faced with realizations that he can't survive without certain people, that his attachment issues are brought to the forefront for everyone to see. it's ugly and embarrassing and for the first time in a long time he feels very seen. death's always been a reality for him and he's never cared much for it in regards to himself but losing someone so close, so suddenly? without closure or goodbyes? he's forced to deal with the frailty and mortality of someone he thought was invincible.

and it scares him.

#oughoghg messy messy messy #postLAD I imagine the mess is even worse and love it so much even if it makes me shit and cry and throw up #my hcs #kazumaji #yakuza #ryu ga gotoku #kiryu kazuma #majima goro #saejima taiga #my art #dojima daigo #goromi

[imhidingonceagain]

I never ever thought Slimeriana would be as tragic as they are.

(Disclaimer: Long post)

Hear me out. I think most people don't notice how sad their stories are because both Charlie and Osvaldo are funny as hell. But their characters are so fucking tragic.

I would like for people to understand that they're not the worst parents as everyone in the Island has made them look.

I'm not denying the fact that they fought a lot (that's a whole other thing because they always fought but they also ALWAYS ended up gravitating towards each other and even defending each other -and having weird sex but let's avoid that one-) but when it came to Juanaflippa they loved her with their whole hearts.

Let's remember how at first they named her "Juanaflippo" but when she told Mariana that she was a girl he accepted her IMMEDIATELY and he communicated the fact to Slime who also accepted her WITHOUT A QUESTION.

Slime adored Juana and till this day he thinks constantly about her.

But Mariana also loved her so so much. I don't know if non Spanish speaking people understand the constant words of endearment Mari gave to Juana whenever they were together. He talked sweetly to her and made sure she felt loved (look at them celebrating her birthday).

And I'm emphasizing Mari because at the end of the day he ended her life (twice).

Slimecicle, on the other hand, ended Tilin's life when he was babysitting them (I'm pretty sure Tilín was nonbinary or gender fluid, not sure).

You know why that's tragic?

Because those incidents happened because both content creators have the shittiest luck and are honestly not the best at fighting. NOT BECAUSE THEY DIDN'T CARE ABOUT THOSE KIDS.

Let's remember that everyone in the Island were thrown into parenthood and each of them did the best they could (and props to Charlie and Mariana because both of them were present for their Minecraft child).

I can never forget Slime yelling "How do I fix this?" And Mariana yelling "No, Juanaflippa, no!" When Roier told him they had to go and he couldn't even retrieve Juanas's body.

When Juana passed away seems like Mari finally understood that at the end of the day Slime and him only had each other. That's when he started saying proudly to everyone that Slime and him were a couple.

But then Tilin's accident happened and Slime went to exile and everything went to shit again.

Their interactions became minimal and that's also tragic because despite their fights they're the only ones that understand and care for each other.

Mariana was constantly mocked by Roier (I love q!Roier but he was really mean towards Mari most of the time after the incident and that's super sad when you remember that they're supposedly best friends)

And Slime also suffered because he's now considered a cold murderer by everyone.

I'm pretty sure most people don't know that not only Quackity was hunting him. When Luzu briefly cameback to the Island and BBH and Foolish told him Tilin was his child he immediately asked for Slimecicle's location so he could get "revenge" (and if you're not familiar with Luzu, you won't know what he's capable of. Slime is lucky that Luzu was busy IRL because otherwise we would have had a big confrontation).

Fast forward till the last "interaction" when Slime attended Roier and Cellbit's wedding. He bitterly said that "Mariana couldn't even be there", that only tells me that he was hoping to see Mari.

Then Roier proceed to say that Mariana had been seeing/sleeping with other people when that's certainly not true (again, I love q! Roier but what kind of friend are you, dude?)

After that Slimecicle talked to Baghera and proceeded to say that he thinks Mariana and him and not together anymore and he also said to Baghera "If you see Mariana beat the shit out of him" but honestly, he wasn't irritated when he said those things, he didn't sound angry even.

No, he sounded wounded and hopeless.

So... In one hand we have Mariana who has disappeared completely, we don't know if he's at home depressed (but that the most likely scenario. We saw at Juanas's funeral that he tends to get depressed whenever something bad happens).

On the other hand, we have Slime who has been spending more and more time as Gegg.

And let me remind you that Gegg's all fun and games until you remember that Slime admitted that everytime he becomes Gegg his true self is affected.

We don't know if Slimecicle himself will not comeback one day.

I wish they spoke to each other because I truly believe only they can help each other. Only they understand the guilt and grief they're feeling.

#slimeriana #fliporiana #elmariana #slimecicle #qsmp #Slimecicle x Mariana #slimecicle and mariana #Mariana #juanaflippa

[simplydannie]

I’m supposed to working on my other fics, but this one hit me like a train wreck. I work with kids on the spectrum, from moderate to mild. This one is dedicated to each and everyone one of my amazing kiddos. Where the world sees the disability I see the ability. My kiddos have changed my heart, and love them all dearly. I wouldn’t change what I do for anything. I wish I could shelter them from the cruel world always. One day the world will see how amazing you guys are by just being you ❤️ I will always be proud of you all!

Velvet has always been tough, overprotective, and really hard on her brother. People would say she’s cruel, but in reality she is sheltering him from a world she fears would never accept him.

●・○・●・○・● ●・○・●・○・● ●・○・●・○・●

“How do they look?” Veneer asked facing Velvet.

“Like headphones duh.”

“But they aren’t.”

“Who cares! Let them think they’re ‘actual’ headphones.” She quoted. Velvet went over to adjust the headphones that lay over his purple beanie. “How do they feel?”

“Comfortable.” He smiled, but then it soon faded. “Vels, why can’t we just tell them? I thought mom and dad said not to be ashamed…”

“We’re not ashamed. They just won’t understand.” She rolled her eyes, “Trolls live in this perfect happy world where nothing is wrong with them….. they’d never understand.” Velvet pulled her pink hoodie over her black mini dress. She reached over and fixed Veneers golden hoodie that draped over his skinny black jeans and combat boots.

“Vels come on!” He said embarrassed.

“Some old habits die hard…. I guess let’s go.” She grunted. The twins made their way out of their suit in Gristles castle…

It had been a year since the Rage Dome incident. Floyd had convinced the trolls and Bergens to allow the twins to spend the rest of their term under community service. What the Trolls didn’t know was that a change happened in the twins… Velvet would catch herself loosing control around her brother, as if reality was distorted. Sometimes she’d see him, but she couldn’t stop herself, as if she didn’t have control of her own body… and Veneer, well something returned, something that only her and her parents understood, something that the troll essence somehow allowed him to control. Ever since then, her protectiveness returned…like a bear and her cub.

“Hey guys! Whoa, styling headphones Veneer!” Poppy chimed.

He smiled, “Why thank you.”

“Yeah, yeah, they’re nice. We were called down for breakfast and now here we are.” Velvet said.

“I guess someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed.” Branch rolled his eyes and turned away, Veneers mood lightened upon seeing the small grey Troll.

“Hey Branch!” He waved making his way towards him. Velvet attempted to hold her brother back but failed. Why did he like Branch so much? She could never put her finger on it. Branch did his best to ignore the Rageon as he yapped and yapped.

Branch ignored Veneer and went ahead to get his breakfast. “Oh okay. Talk to you later!” Veneer called out.

“Why do you have to follow him so much?” Velvet asked.

“I don’t know, he seems cool. Bet you I can get him to be my friend.”

“Ew why?”

“Come on Vels, I’m trying.”

Grabbing him by the arm, she led him to the dining area where food awaited. “I’m hungry come on.”

Velvet wasn’t used to having so many people around during any mealtime. It was always her, Veneer, and their parents… but she began realizing that the Trolls treated everything like a party, and apparently the Bergens joined in with them. Veneer began shifting on his feet at the sight of everyone… a wave of anxiety and nervousness came over him. Velvet noticed his uneasiness.

“Let’s sit over here.” She pulled him to an isolated table.

“No! Let’s sit with everyone else.” He told her.

“You’re not ready.”

“How am I ever going to get ready if you never give me a chance?” Veneer looked at his sister square in the eye.

“But what if something happens…”

“Then it happens. These are the Trolls we’re talking about! They’ll be excepting, right? I mean, do they have what I have? Is it normal to them? Different?” Veneer began to over analyze everything.

“Let’s sit over here…” she began to pill him until she was stopped by Poppy and Viva.

“Hey girl!” Viva exclaimed. Velvet rolled her eyes in annoyance. “Sooo Velvet we have nice Trolls and Bergens we want you to meet.”

“And Vennie we have some we want you to meet too!”

The twins took a quick glance at each other. “Floyd said he thinks it’ll be a great idea for you guys to make some friends… other than each other of course.”

“We’re good. We don’t need friends.” Velvet began pulling her brother along. Veneer was frozen in his footsteps. “Ven?” Veneer was staring at the ground, lost in thought. For years since they were kids, Velvet had really sacrificed a lot for him…. That’s including friendships. Veneer was different, making friends didn’t come easy to him. He remembered spending most of his school days alone, until Velvet came in. She decided to be his only friend and he be hers. Maybe now it could be different. She needed friends other than him around.

“M-maybe it’s a good idea Vels.”

“What!”

“Y-you need to make friends. Y-you need people to talk to. Can you do this, for me?” He asked. Veneer pouted his lip, widening his eyes.

“No….no! Not the face! You’re not a kid anymore!”

But that only made Veneer pout his lip even more, saddening his eyes. Velvet grunted, “Fine! But… someone gives you hard time..”

“I know. Go look for you.” He smiled. Viva took Velvet away while Veneer followed Poppy. She led him to a table where young teenage Bergens and Trolls sat, amongst them was Branch. Upon seeing the Rageon, the grey Troll grunted. He got up and walked off causing Veneer to frown.

“Hey everyone! So this is Veneer! He’s new here. So let’s all be nice.” Veneer took a seat in between two Bergens who eyed him weirdly. He did his best to smile, but even then he felt awkward.

“You’re a Rageon?” Asked a funk troll.

“Y-yes.” He stammered as he grew nervous. His leg began to twitch, he began to fiddle with the sleeves of his hoodie.

“Well, nice to meet you I guess.” A teenaged Bergen told him.

An easiness overcame Veneer when he heard that. He smiled. “You too!” Looking at the food on his plate, Veneer began to do something he hadn’t done in so long, not since using the Trolls essence. He began separating his food by colors. His eyes were able to distinguish the different hues and shades of everything. He hummed as he did so. Everyone around him eyed him suspiciously. They turned to give each other glances.

“Dude. What are you doing?” Asked a young rock troll.

“Something I’d used to do. I don’t why it bothers me when things are not color coordinated. You can obviously tell this shade of red is different than this one…..” Unknowingly, he began to ramble on and on. There was silence around him, so he assumed they were interested in what he was saying. When he looked up, he noticed everyone was gone. Looking around, Veneer saw they had moved to another table, snickering and laughing at him.

“Oh! Hey wait up!” Quickly gathering his plate, he went after them. The table groaned as he neared them…. They left him no room to sit. “Um, excuse me.”

“There’s no room. Sorry bud.” A Bergen said.

“But if you just moved your foot, I can sit here.”

“Nope.”

“Okay very funny.” Veneer attempted to laugh as he tried scooting in.

“I said no room.” The Bergen shoved Veneer with such force that he fell down, his plate and food spilling everywhere. The small group snickered at the sight. Poppy, Branch, and Floyd came running over.

“Hey you good?” Floyd asked.

“I’m fine, I’m fine.” Nervousness set in Veneer again as all eyes were on him. His eyes darting back and forth as he tried to avoid eye contact. Veneer began to hum to soothe himself, but he could feel the laughter, the judgement.

“He tripped dude. He’s fine.” Branch said rolling his eyes. He began to hate the attention Veneer would take from Floyd. Floyd was HIS brother, not Veneers.

“Oh! Well it’s okay Vennie we’ll just get you another plate.” Poppy chimed.

Veneer had stopped trying to pick up his food. He just knelt there, staring straight at the ground. He couldn’t calm down, everything wrecked his nerves, the world was spinning a thousand miles per minute. He needed to calm down, he continued to hum. The familiarity of the hands that helped him up was the only thing to cause him ease.

“Just go Ven. I’ll pick this up.” Velvet told him. Veneer tightened his headphones around his ears. He nodded and headed off. Velvet continued to pick up the food without making eye contact or acknowledging anyone…. She knew it was a mistake, she knew they wouldn’t accept him.

“What’s the big deal? He just dropped his food.” Said one of the teenage Bergens. Velvet ignored them… she began to fume as her anger rose.

“Maybe he shouldnt be so sensitive.” Branch scoffed. Velvet grabbed the broken plate and smashed it on the floor again…. completely shattering it.

“HES NOT SENSITIVE YOUR TWIG! HES AUTISTIC!” She screamed at the top of her lungs.

Complete silence surrounded her. It was then she noticed what she had said. Forget this, she thought. Velvet rushed after Veneer leaving everyone flabbergasted. Whether they understood or not, she didn’t care. This world would never accept him…she knew she was all he had.

“Velvet!” She heard Floyd call out to her.

“Screw you!” She yelled back…. She knew the moment Veneer absorbed the troll essence, his brain chemistry had changed, it had made him different. She didn’t have to worry about him… but that was gone. Everything was back to the way it was before the fame… but this time… mom and dad weren’t around to comfort them.

#trolls band together #trolls 3 #velvet and veneer #trolls veneer #veneer #velvet trolls #velvet #velvet and veneer trolls #trolls 3 veneer #trolls 3 velvet #veneer trolls #trolls velvet #trolls #trolls fanfic #fanfic writing #fanfics #fanfiction #fanfic #trolls 3 band together #trolls poppy #trolls floyd #trolls branch #dedication #dedicated #oneshot #trolls angst #angst #trolls fandom #protective #siblings

[androgynousblackbox]

Alright, I am watching the reaction stream of another person to see the video of Jamesy and I have thoughts! -Jamesy is REALLY counting on buttering up to Jessie Gender specifically. He named her so many times trying to "apologize" for weaponizing his audience against her when she told him to not erase her work in Nebula just because his whiny entitled ass couldn't accept that he wasn't invited to the platform. Not a single word about actually going to her and talk privately though, just a bunch of "ooh, Jessie Gender is the kindest, best human being ever and I am so sorry to her", like, bitch, WHY ARE YOU EVEN TALKING ABOUT HER? Jessie wasn't the worst victim of your actions! Your bullshit with her happened long BEFORE anything of this happened, so why the fuck are you even bringing her up?? My only guess is that Jamesy wants Jessie to speak on his favor and "forgive him", hoping that will bring him new good will from the queer community in youtube. I am fucking crossing my fingers and touching wood that Jessie does not fall for this manipulative bullshit. This guy is literally clout chasing because, again, when it came to the plagiarism, Jessie had NOTHING to do here. Jessie, if you want an easy win, don't say anything about this. Don't even aknowledge it. Pretend like a mosquito just farted in another building. You had nothing to do with this and I am sorry this piece of shit is trying to drag you into it to take advantage of your good nature. -"I only cared about the production side of making videos, that is why I bring Nick in as the main writer." This motherfucker really went and did it. He is literally blaming Nick squarely now, because now he is just not a co-writer. No, now he is the MAIN WRITER. Jamesy here was just trying to making his little films and buy expensive ass equipment while telling everyone he was starving on the streets, he only cared about the production. NICK, THOUGH, HE WAS ALL ABOUT THE WRITING. He was the one who put the words and little Jamesy baby boy here only "produced, directed and edited" (omg, shut the fuck off, man, your editing skills are mid at best) everything. -Way too many sob stories. I don't care, man. I don't fucking care that you got fired or whatever conditions you had. Do you have any fucking clue how many people do really struggle to reach the end of the month and they still never even think of stealing someone else's work? Everyone is struggling and yet, you were the one who made a career for fucking years out of stealing the works of everyone else in this community AND THEN, when call out, tried to paint them as the bad guys.

-A lot, and I do mean, a lot of time to "apologize" to Jessie Gender, but you know who he didn't apologize to? Literally none of the authors he stole from. Not the fan whose edit of Korra he used without credit. Not Alexander Avila. Not that person who was harassed to hell and back by Jamesy and his audience when they showed how he plagiarized on his disney video. Jessie deserved to be name dropped at least thirty times, but those people?? They are fucking nobodies. They don't matter. Why name them at all? It's not like their WORK WAS STOLEN BY YOU OR ANYTHING! And that is another thing! Even if Jamesy is really out there blaming Nick for all the words that they took without credit, then what the fuck is up with all the footage, edits and audiovisual works that weren't for you to take? You said your passion is production. That is part of the production, Jamesy. Is this you admitting you fully just fucking stole them and hoped nobody would notice because you are a lazy piece of garbage?

-"Having to do multiple edits because youtube copyright issues was so hard for me, guys, you don't understand uwu. It was so hard on me to make it less obvious I had plagiarized people!" THAT IS ENTIRELY YOUR OWN FAULT, BRO.

-So, hey, funny thing. I was looking to see if other people were reacting or had reuploaded the video so I could put it here. They haven't yet, there is only two reactions, but while I was doing that I found a video of ANOTHER person talking about Jamesy ripping them off: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bsD-wodn288 Apparently Jamesy had stolen a blog post that this person wrote about Lord of The Rings and they weren't known by anyone, they don't even like that article anymore, but still! Go see that video instead of watching Jamesy and support them if you find value on their work.

-Hey, Jamesy. Jamesy. You do know that epilepsy and head injuries or memory issues don't take you threaten, lie and weaponize your audience against people who call out your plagiarism with the evidence in hand, right? That has literally nothing to do actually, because you had to be aware off of the issue for you to lie about it after someone else brought it up. After the first time it happened, you could have hired another beta reader to tell you that ups, your memory/epilepsy/memory issues/ADHD strike again and you don't remember from where you took that quote from, sorry! You had money for that expensive ass camera, you could have. -Like, my guy, there were so many steps involved here. So many steps from writing, production, backlash and your response to the backlash. Even if any part on this was an honest mistake, something I don't fucking believe in because fuck you, you had millions of opportunities to rectified it and change it. And yet you didnd't. And so here we are, without you receiving not even a miserable fucking like. Go to hell. A mistake doesn't get repeated so many times for years. That was all a choice, bitch. Fuck you.

And here is where I stopped because his voice is like nail on my ears.

Don't look at his video, it's truly not worth it. DON'T LEAVE COMMENTS EITHER, YOUTUBE TAKES THAT AS ENGAGEMENT ANYWAY.

#james somerton #jessie gender

[gardenschedule]

Paul trying and sometimes failing to be chill about Yoko

“I told John on the phone the other day that at the beginning of last year I was annoyed with him. I was jealous because of Yoko, and afraid about the break-up of a great musical partnership.”

1970, Paul to Ray Connolly in the Evening Standard

I’d been able to accept Yoko in the studio, sitting on a blanket in front of my amp. I’d worked hard to come to terms with that. But then when we broke up and everyone was now flailing around, John turned nasty. I don’t really understand why. Maybe because we grew up in Liverpool, where it was always good to get in the first punch of a fight.

The Lyrics: 1956 to the Present

"It just became impossible for me to work with Yoko sitting there watching us," says Paul. "I wanted to write simple things like 'I love you girl' and every time I knew she was listening I felt I had to come out with someone clever and avant garde! "I'm not blaming Yoko -- I'm blaming me. It was no more John's fault for falling in love with Yoko than it was mine for falling in love with Linda. It just meant that we didn't work together anymore. We tried but it didn't work."

Paul McCartney, in his first magazine interview since the split, tells FLIP's Keith Altham... "THE BEATLES ARE FINISHED!"

We didn’t accept Yoko totally, but like I say, how many groups do you know, these days [who would]? I mean, it’s a joke. It’s like Spinal Tap! I mean, it’s Spinal Tap! A joke!

September, 1986 (MPL Communications, London)

And in John’s thing, you know, when as – you obviously know – he was going through a lot of pain when he said a lot of that stuff. And he felt that we were, um, being kind of vindictive towards him and Yoko. In actual fact I just answered a question on an American TV thing – I think we were quite good, looking back on it, and knowing people in life. Many people would’ve just downed tools with a situation like that and just have said: “Look man, she’s not sitting on our amps while we’re making a film.” I mean, that wouldn’t be unheard of. I mean, Sean Penn... do you know what I mean? Most people would just say, “We’re not having this person here. Don’t care how much you love her.”

But we were actually quite supportive. Not supportive enough, you know; it would have been nice to have been really supportive because then we could look back and say, “Weren’t we really terrific?” But looking back on it, I think we were okay. We were never really that mean to them. But I think a lot of the time John suspected meanness where it wasn’t really there.

September, 1986 (MPL Communications, London)

I’ve already mentioned how in September 1969 we were in a meeting and talking about future plans, and John said, ‘Well, I’m not doing it. I’m leaving. Bye.’ In the ensuing moments, he was giggling and saying how this felt really thrilling, like telling someone you’re going to divorce them and then laughing. At the time, obviously, that was wildly hurtful. Talk about a knockout blow. You’re lying on the canvas, and he’s giggling and telling you how good it feels to have just knocked you out. It took a while, but I suppose I eventually got with the programme. This was my best mate from my youth, the collaborator with whom I’d done some of the best work of the twentieth century (he said, modestly). If he fell in love with this woman, what did that have to do with me? Not only did I have to let him do it, but I had to admire him for doing it. That was the position I eventually reached. There was nothing else I could do but be cool with it.

Paul McCartney, on “Get Back”. In The Lyrics (2021).

MANSFIELD: But, you know, [after John showed me the pictures of himself and Yoko nude for the album cover of Two Virgins], I asked Paul about this. And this, to me, is indicative of their relationship, maybe as much as anything I [had] ever heard. I said, “Paul, you know, what do you think about this?” And Paul says, “I don’t know.” He said, “I don’t really agree with John. But I just am going to figure that John’s ahead of me on this, and that someday I’ll understand and I’ll catch up. So, you know, I’m okay.” ROSEN: And what did that reaction tell you about their relationship? MANSFIELD: That it was an extremely deep relationship.

Ken Mansfield (record label executive and Apple Records U.S. manager), interview w/ James Rosen for Fox News. (December 4th-5th, 2007)

John and Yoko had to visit Sir Joseph Lockwood of EMI with the nude photos to ensure that he would allow their use and there wouldn’t be any censorship problems. Although he personally didn’t like the album or photographs, Paul accompanied the two of them to their meeting. Sir Joseph thought that the fans would be outraged and the Beatles’ reputation would be damaged, but Yoko told him: ‘It’s art.’ Lockwood said: ‘Well, I should find some better bodies to put on the cover than your two. They’re not very attractive. Paul McCartney would look better naked than you.”

The Paul McCartney Encyclopedia by Bill Harry. (also... rekt lmao)

So that – I think, in order to kind of say to Yoko, “Look, my life is now yours,” he had to say things like, “The Beatles were bastards, we were total jerks, we never wrote anything good…” Which I think was rubbish, basically. And as I say, you have to realize that some of that time he was on heroin – so he’s not going to be just talking absolutely lucidly all the time, there. Some of the times, he was having other sorts of problems…

1989, Paul

And I think we would all have continued the Beatles, but Yoko came along, John fell wildly in love with her, he needed a big, big change in his life and he got it! He came to live in New York, he kind of threw over all his English [pause] contacts and everything. And, you know, can’t blame him! If that’s what he wants to do in his life! So we had to kind of, fade into the background to allow them to have their relationship. What were we gonna do, ringin’ him up? ‘Hey John, you know, hey, come and see me! Leave Yoko!’ No, that obviously never gonna happen. [pause] See, you had to let him do what he wanted, and he- he did you know… And he enjoyed it.

Paul McCartney on John’s early 70′s attacks as a sign of his feelings towards him. Interviewed by Bob Costa, 1991.

“. . . I mean, I think really what it was, really all that happened was that John fell in love. With Yoko. And so, with such a powerful alliance like that, it was difficult for him to still be seeing me. It was as if I was another girlfriend, almost. Our relationship was a strong relationship. And if he was to start a new relationship, he had to put this other one away. And I understood that. I mean, I couldn’t stand in the way of someone who’d fallen in love. You can’t say, “Who’s this?” You can’t really do that. If I was a girl, maybe I could go out and… But you know I mean in this case I just sort of said, right – I mean, I didn’t say anything, but I could see that was the way it was going to go, and that Yoko would be very sort of powerful for him. So um, we all had to get out the way.”

Paul McCartney, interview with German tv program Exclusiv, April 1985.

PAUL: ‘Cause she’s very much to do with it from John’s angle, that’s the thing, you know. And I – the thing is that I – there’s— Again, like, there’s always only two answers. One is to fight it, and fight her, and try and get The Beatles back to four people without Yoko, and sort of ask her to sit down at the board meetings. Or else, the other thing is to just realize that she’s there, you know. And he’s not gonna sort of – split with her, just for our sakes.

Twickenham, January 13th, 1969

PAUL: Yeah, see, that’s the thing. The only one time we’ve actually done it, she’s agreed. She really is alright. It’s like, it’s the thought of her being there when some of— [faltering] And then you don’t talk to John, so then he doesn’t talk to you, you know. And it’s like, you can screw it up just as much because she’s there, as – as John’s relying on her because she’s there. So that’s the thing. You know, but I mean, like, you’ll notice, if John – if you’re onto a beam with John about something, then he really isn’t, you know, he really won’t let Yoko talk about it. Because he knows when you’re on a beam, and he knows about it, and you’ll – you can talk straighter to him.

Twickenham, January 13th, 1969

‘All new wives don’t like their husband’s old friends or cronies,’ he replies. ‘I don’t think [Yoko] liked Paul. I think Paul was ready to like Yoko. Maybe she saw Paul as a threat. It was a partnership. The partnership should have been John and Yoko, not John and Paul. I am not saying it was a deliberate process, but it was a natural process. John had a new partner: she. Yoko Ono. It was going to be John and Yoko’s songs and not Paul and John’s songs.’

Don Short (newsman), c/o Sandra Shevey, The Other Side of Lennon.(1990)

As the meeting was drawing to a weary close, John, not this day with Yoko, who hadn’t seemed particularly connected with what was going on, said he wanted to play us a tape he and Yoko had made. He got up and put the cassette into the tape machine and stood beside it as we listened. The soft murmuring voices did not at first signal their purpose. It was a man and a woman but hard to hear, the microphone having been at a distance. I wondered if the lack of clarity was the point. Were we even meant to understand what was going on, was it a kind of artwork where we would not be able to put the voices into a context, and was context important? I felt perhaps this was something John and Yoko were examining. But then, after a few minutes, it became clear. John and Yoko were making love, with endearments, giggles, heavy breathing, both real and satirical, and the occasional more direct sounds of pleasure reaching for climax, all recorded by the faraway microphone. But there was something innocent about it too, as though they were engaged in a sweet serious game. John clicked the off button and turned again to look toward the table, his eyebrows quizzical above his round glasses, seemingly genuinely curious about what reaction his little tape would elicit. However often they’d shared small rooms in Hamburg, whatever they knew of each other’s love and sex lives, this tape seemed to have stopped the other three cold. Perhaps it touched a reserve of residual Northern reticence. After a palpable silence, Paul said, “Well, that’s an interesting one.” The others muttered something and the meeting was over. It occured to me as I was walking down the stairs that what we’d heard could have been an expression of 1960s freedom and openness but was it more likely that it was as if a gauntlet had been thrown down? “You need to understand that this is where she and I are now. I don’t want to hold your hand anymore.”

Michael Lindsay-Hogg (filmmaker), Luck and Circumstance: A Coming of Age in Hollywood, New York, and Points Beyond. (2011)

“Paul, in his usual way, tried to be the nice guy and was open-minded about John’s weird choice,” says Brown. “He invited them to stay at [his house in] Cavendish Avenue for a while.” The day after Cynthia’s return, they moved into the second-floor guest bedroom and made themselves at home. “But the problem was that Yoko wasn’t a very warm person—not even able to say thank you in response to anything Paul did for them. And he went miles out of his way to make them feel welcome, being a nice guy. So that didn’t last very long.”

The Beatles – Bob Spitz

Examples of failure to be chill:

PAUL: But it’s just funny to sort of realise that after this is all over, you’ll be off in a black bag somewhere – on the Albert Hall, you know. JOHN: Yes. PAUL: And sort of doing shows and stuff, and you know, digging— JOHN: Yeah, but I— PAUL: —digging that thing of it.

January 25th, 1969 (Apple Studios, London)

Yoko had evidently approached Paul McCartney about appearing in the film, as the Beatles' road manager Mal Evans penned in his diary: "PAUL HAS APPOINTMENT WITH JAPANESE LADY WHO WANTS TO PHOTOGRAPH HIS BOTTOM." Presumably Paul declined, and one must wonder if the same invitation might have been extended to John.

Chip Madinger, Lennonology Volume 1: Strange Days Indeed. (2015) (note: unforgivable rudeness on Paul's part to both Yoko and all of us who would have benefited from him featuring in "Bottoms")

“I was in India meditating about the album, when it suddenly hit me. I wrote Yoko telling her that I planned to have her in the nude on the cover. She was quite surprised, but nowhere near as much as George and Paul. “Paul gave me long lectures about it, and said ‘Is there really any need for this? ‘It took me five months to persuade them.

NEW MUSICAL EXPRESS, JUNE 7, 1969

He wasn’t happy. But the big things that were driving him mad were beyond me. He kept on working and writing, but when John came over, all he could talk about was how much he loved Yoko. That disturbed Paul. In spite of John’s obvious happiness, Paul stifled his jealousy with not-very-cute bursts of racist crap.

Francie Schwartz - Body Count

John & Yoko's perspective:

It’s the same. You can quote Paul, it’s probably in the papers, he said it many times at first he hated Yoko and then he got to like her. But, it’s too late for me. I’m for Yoko. Why should she take that kind of shit from those people? They were writing about her looking miserable in the Let It Be film, but you sit through 60 sessions with the most bigheaded, up-tight people on earth and see what its fuckin’ like and be insulted — just because you love someone — and George, shit, insulted her right to her face in the Apple office at the beginning, just being ‘straight-forward,’ you know that game of ‘I’m going to be up front,’ because this is what we’ve heard and Dylan and a few people said she’d got a lousy name in New York, and you give off bad vibes. That’s what George said to her! And we both sat through it. I didn’t hit him, I don’t know why.

I was always hoping that they would come around. I couldn’t believe it, and they all sat there with their wives, like a fucking jury and judged us and the only thing I did was write that piece (Rolling Stone, April 16th, 1970) about “some of our beast friends” in my usual way — because I was never honest enough, I always had to write in that gobbly-gook — and that’s what they did to us.

Ringo was all right, so was Maureen, but the other two really gave it to us. I’ll never forgive them, I don’t care what fuckin’ shit about Hare Krishna and God and Paul with his “Well, I’ve changed me mind.” I can’t forgive ’em for that, really. Although I can’t help still loving them either.

John Lennon: The Rolling Stone Interview, Part One

JOHN: But I understand how they felt, because if it had been Paul or George and Ringo that had fallen in love with somebody and gotten totally involved, suddenly… It wasn’t like, you know, somebody – George coming in and saying, “I’m going to work with Eric Clapton in a band now, and screw you.” It wasn’t that kind of thing at all. It was just suddenly this involvement.

December 6th, 1980: Andy Peebles talks to John and Yoko

“Lennon stated that “there’s some underlying thing about Yoko in [Get Back]”, saying that McCartney looked at Yoko Ono in the studio every time he sang “Get back to where you once belonged””

David Sheff, All We are Saying: The Last Major Interview with John Lennon and Yoko Ono

TRYNKA: ‘The Ballad of John And Yoko’, with Paul playing drums and bass, seemed like Paul’s tribute to you. Was that the case? YOKO: Yeah. I thought that was beautiful. Paul was trying to be diplomatic about the situation, try to make it well... He meant well. There were other instances where he’d do things that were meant well.

Yoko Ono, interview w/ Paul Trynka for MOJO. (May, 2003)

YOKO: Even now, I just read that Paul said, “I understand that he wants to be with her, but why does he have to be with her all the time?” JOHN: Yoko, do you still have to carry that cross? That was years ago. YOKO: No, no, no. He said it recently. I mean, what happened with John is that I sort of went to bed with this guy that I liked and suddenly the next morning I see these three guys standing there with resentful eyes. SHEFF: Do you think that kind of attitude from people was also jealousy? JOHN: It’s a kind of jealousy. People can’t stand people being in love. They absolutely can’t stand it. They want to pull you down in the hole they’re in.

John Lennon and Yoko Ono, interview w/ David Sheff for Playboy. (September, 1980)

‘He wanted me to be part of the group,’ Yoko says. ‘He created the group, so he thought the others should accept that. I didn’t particularly want to be part of them… I couldn’t see how I would fit in, but John was certain I would. He kept saying, ‘They’re very sensitive … Paul is into Stockhausen… They can do your thing…’ He thought the other Beatles would go for it; he was trying to persuade me.’”

Philip Norman’s 2008 biography Lennon

After the initial embarrassment, that how Paul is being very nice to me, he’s nice and a very, str- on the level, straight, sense, like wherever there’s something like happening at the Apple, he explains to me, as if I should know. And also whenever there’s something like they need a light man, or something like that he asks me if I know of anybody, things like that. And like I can see that he’s just now suddenly changing his attitude, like his being, he’s treating me with respect, not because it’s me, but because I belong to John. I hope that’s what it is because that would be nice. And I feel like he’s my younger brother or something like that. I’m sure that if he had been a woman or something, he would have been a great threat, because there’s something definitely very strong with me, John, and Paul.

Revolution Chaos Tape – Yoko Ono, June 4, 1968

"The line [the walrus was Paul] was put in partly because I was feeling guilty because I was with Yoko and I was leaving Paul. It's a very perverse way of saying to Paul: 'here, have this crumb, this illusion, this stroke - because I'm leaving.'" -John

Playboy, 1980

JOHN: And throwing in the line “the Walrus was Paul” just to confuse everybody a bit more. And because I felt slightly guilty because I’d got Yoko, and he’d got nothing, and I was gonna quit. [laughs; bleak] And so I thought ‘Walrus’ has now become [in] meaning, “I am the one.” It didn’t mean that in the song, originally. It just meant I’m the – it could have been I’m the – “I’m The Fox Terrier,” you know. I mean, it’s just a bit of poetry.

August, 1980: John talks to Playboy writer David Sheff about ‘Glass Onion’.

“Still, the real reason that people disliked Yoko was because she ordered them about and sent them on errands in a particularly rude way; she was brought up with servants, and that’s how she treated the staff of Apple. George found it particularly galling that she never gave the Beatles their definite article. He told me, ‘She would say, “Beatles do this” and “Beatles do that”, and we would say, “Uh, it’s the Beatles actually, love.” She’d look at you and say, “Beatles do this.”’ And he laughed and shrugged his shoulders. Whether Yoko was ever aware of the disruption her presence caused to the Beatles’ working practices I don’t know. Some people thought she was so involved in her own work and self-interest that she didn’t notice; others thought that it was a deliberate ploy to separate John off from the others.”

Barry Miles, The Zapple Diaries. (2015)

#the beatles #paul mccartney #john lennon #mclennon #he could only play nice for so long #the bag thing pissed him off too much

[nyxsealia]

When I was 17 and trying to figure out what the heck my sexuality was, the main, if not only, piece of advice I found online, even when I directly asked people, was to go out and experiment sexually with various people and see what gender I enjoyed sex with most. And years later, that still seems to be the advice most of us give when someone is trying to figure out their sexuality. And there's nothing wrong with doing that, and if that's what helped you, great. But I do think there's issues with this being the most prevalent advice.

There are a lot of reasons someone may not want to do this, various personal or religious reasons, comfort levels, a lack of interest in sex, not experiencing much or any sexual attraction, or simply being too young for this to be applicable.

I found the advice unhelpful for many of the reasons I just mentioned, and it left me feeling lost on how I was supposed to find out what my orientation was. It also left me with thoughts like how can I be a part of queer culture if I don't want to experiment sexually or be sexually active? Even looking at articles with advice on dating as a queer woman I saw bullet points like "It's okay to have sex on the first date!" there was so much emphasis on how it's okay to have very active sex lives that it left me feeling like if I didn't want that, I'd never be able to have relationships because there'd be an expectation of sex right off the bat. Don't get me wrong, sex positivity is important and we shouldn't shame people for their sex lives. But I feel like we don't don't talk about not being into that kind of thing enough.

I also didn't know at the time that I was asexual, and while I'm sex neutral and open to the idea of sex with a trusted partner, I don't have any desire to seek out sexual relationships. Not experiencing sexual attraction made figuring out my attraction a thousand times harder. I still don't know if I'm bi/pan or lesbian. I do refer to myself as gay or lesbian in some instances, but sometimes I say queer or just shrug and say "I like girls" or "I'm not straight" and some days I'm okay with the vagueness of that, but other days I feel the stress and pressure of having to pick an identity in order to have a community to belong to and be accepted. That stress and pressure doesn't get better when all the advice I can find on the subject just tells me to have sex and that'll clear everything up.

We put a lot of focus on finding out exactly "what" you are. And I don't think sex is the best way to do that. Lots of people have varying interest in sexual or physical intimacy, not just queers. My cishet friend told me she got a boyfriend but she wasn't entirely sure if what she was feeling was romantic, and that the idea of kissing made her uncomfortable. She doesn't identify as ace or aro, and she shouldn't have to. People can have a lack of interest in these things without a lack of attraction.

Another issue with this advice is that sexual and romantic attraction doesn't always line up for everyone. You may enjoy sex with all genders, but find you only have a desire to date one. So sexual experimenting wouldn't necessarily answer the question for you. Orientation is really complicated. I did mostly consider myself lesbian, but I occasionally find men aesthetically attractive, and I'm honestly starting to wonder if I'm actually bi but still feel uncomfortable using the term.

All this needlessly long and ramble-y text to say, this advice is simply useless to a lot of people. And while I can't speak personally for this part, I'd bet at least some people who enjoy sexual experimentation still weren't sure of their orientation at the end of it. This advice shouldn't be presented as the one size fits all solution.

If you're uncomfortable or uninterested in figuring out your identity this way, there's nothing wrong with that. There's also nothing wrong with not knowing. You don't have to know right now, or ever if you'd prefer that. It's okay to use vague terms. It's also okay to use whatever label feels closest even if it's not perfect. And remember, you're not locked into anything. You can always change labels.

There is no right way to determine your orientation. Everyone discovers themself in different ways and at different ages. It's not a race or a checklist. The most important thing is to be kind and patient with yourself and whatever you do to figure yourself out, be safe.

#I'm so sorry this is so long #I just watched roughly five hours of video essays blame that #queer #lgbt #lesbian #lgbtq #wlw #asexual #nonbinary #agender #gay #bisexual #pansexual #queer community #lgbtq community #queer positivity #lgbt positivity #transgender #genderfluid #queer dating advice #lgbt dating #aromantic #aroace

[absurdthirst]

Kinktober 2023: October 22nd

Day 22: True Monsters, Spiritual Possession, Sexual Exhaustion

Dave York x F!Reader

Rating: Explicit

Word Count: 1.2k

Warnings: Death, funerals, mentions of infidelity, rough treatment, spiritual possession, dub-con due to someone possessing

|| Kinktober List || MasterList ||

Click Keep Reading only if you have read the Rating and Warnings and understand the warnings may not be complete to avoid listing spoilers. As AO3 says 'creator chooses not to use warnings'. You also agree that you're the right age to be consuming anything here.

“Carol.” Your heart clenches and you chew on the inside of your lip to keep from showing any outward emotion, although your tone has dipped down to one of shocked sadness. “I am- I am so sorry.” 

Reaching out is practically impossible, but you have to. You can’t show that it really affects you beyond the impersonal connection. Feeling like you are going to throw up, you reach for Carol York’s hand. 

Feeling her grip tighten, anchoring around yours like a lifeline, you nearly yank your hand away, but you don’t. You can’t. No one knows so to be repulsed would be strange. “If there’s anything I can do….” trailing off, you let the offer fade into the politeness that is supposed to be accepted and then never actually utilized. 

“I think you’ve done enough.” Her words make you panic, heart starting to pound in your chest and you wonder if she’s known. If he had told her, or if it was just the woman’s intuition. 

Instead of reacting, giving her something to judge, you just wait. She’ll either accuse you, or she won’t. Either way, you won’t argue with her. Not in the receiving line at her husband’s funeral. 

“Dave said he could always count on you.” She chokes out the words, glancing back at the closed casket, her lip trembling and the water rising in her devastated brown eyes. Her world was crashing down around her, completely changed by events that she could not, and would not, ever completely know about. “He- ” 

You don’t know what she was going to say, breaking down into fresh tears and little Alice York, her eyes so like her father’s, distracts her with a hug. 

You hadn’t wanted to come. Didn’t think that you should, although you know that to not show up would be strange. Even if you had tried to use the excuse that there was just too much loss lately. It would be commented on if you didn’t go to the funeral of a man you often worked closely with. Optics were everything in this business. 

You shuffle through, feeling a sense of dread as you approach the coffin. It’s surreal. You’ve known for a few days, unwilling to really accept it. The burner phone that you normally communicated through was silent. He was dead. Not disappeared and presumed dead. He had been found with his spine severed, his eye gouged out and plenty of defensive wounds to prove that whoever had taken him out was a top tier operator. 

You can’t cry. Not here. Not in front of people you worked with. His team is also dead, which makes you wonder what operation they were running. No one claimed to know anything but it makes you feel like someone is targeting agents. First Suzan, now Dave. It makes you uneasy. Your boyfriend, a company man but not an agent like you, touches you back. Making you realize you had been lingering with your hand on the casket a little too long. You snatch your hand back and murmur a quiet apology before you move away. Ready to leave and forget that this is real for a bit. Unable to deal with the fact that he is gone. 

****

The rest of the funeral had gone by with no surprises. Your boyfriend had insisted you leave almost immediately after, not that you were going to protest. His hand on your back as he leads you away from the group was a little surprising, he was never normally the type to lead, if that makes any sense. He was comfortable and yielding, the opposite of the man who you had just attended his funeral. 

Opening the door to the house, your boyfriend hurries you inside and then as soon as the door closes, he’s rushing over to you. Grabbing your arms, spinning you around and bending you over the table. 

Gasping makes him chuckle, a sound that has never been particularly dark, but this time, it sends a shiver down your spine. 

“You think death still stop me from fucking you?” Confusion sets in and you push back, but his hand around the back of your neck keeps you pinned down to the table, his breath hot on the shell of your ear. 

“We always talked about how I fucked you better than your little boyfriend did.” It’s your boyfriend’s voice, but it’s different. Lower, raspier, feeding in the pit of your stomach and making your cunt bottom out like his always did. “Now I’m gonna see if his dick is the problem or if you just like being fucked like a whore.” 

Gasping, you mewl his name, horrified by those words. How did he know about that line? Did he see a text? Did he hear you? How long did he know that you had been fucking Dave?

The clinking of a belt, the fumbled rasp of a zipper stills as you struggle and your boyfriend magically feels strong. His body pinning you down and the hardness of his cock press roughly against your ass. 

“Stop.” He hisses, rocking against your ass. “He’s so stupid, isn’t he? He didn’t have a fucking clue when I fucked you at that party, did he? Or in the airport right before you went home to him.” 

You don’t understand why he is pretending to be Dave. Talking to you like he is your dead lover. You whimper his name again but you can’t move, you are pinned. Just like Dave used to playfully pin you when you were sparring. You could never get out of it. 

“Hated fucking Carol the last time.” Your eyes widen. “Didn’t know it would be the last goddamn time I fucked. At least in that body. Would have just come over and fucked you in front of him. But this is even better.” 

“D-D-Dave?” You sputter, frowning and wishing you could see your boyfriend’s face. See his eyes. You could read his eyes but never Dave’s. 

“He loves you.” He snorts. “But he’s gonna be a good boy and let me use this body of his and make you scream or I’ll make sure that I put it through plenty and let him take possession right as the pain starts.” 

“P-Possession?” You don’t understand what the fuck is going on and you feel his hand slide under your skirt to pull your panties down and kick your feet apart. Just like Dave used to every time he fucked you like this. 

“It’s me, sweet pea.” Your nickname. The one that only Dave uses, that Dave knows about, makes you gasp again. He had only ever used it when you were alone. Claiming you were sweet and yet deadly like the rosary pea. He had never even texted that nickname. “Don’t know how it happened, but I get to stick around for a little bit and I’ve missed this pussy.” 

Fingers find your cunt and his touch is different. Rougher. Exactly like Dave would have touched you. This time you moan and push back against him to beg for more rather than fight. That laugh comes to your ears again, rough and thrilling. One you thought you would never hear again. “Good girl.” Dave growls through your boyfriend’s vocal cords. “Now….scream for daddy.”

The scream  you give when he drives the cock of your boyfriend deep into your cunt is one of disbelief and pleasure. Even from beyond the grave, Dave York has managed to find a way to fuck you just like you need. 

#pedro pascal #kinktober #kinktober 2023 #absurdthirst kinktober #dave york #dave york x reader #dave york x you #dave york x f!reader #dave york smut #dave york imagine #dave york fanfiction

[hornyfor-redacted-onmain]

Changbin - Initials

In Your Past - Chapter 4

Stray Kids OT8 x reader, Soulmate AU

Living in a world where soulmates are real, and everyone deals with it differently. Prequel to 'Pieces of My Heart'; how each member dealt with their soul marks, and first meetings.

Masterlist | Pieces Of My Heart

Changbin was a hopeless romantic.

He spent most of his childhood watching his parents be madly in love, both of them with their names on each other’s wrists. He was told from a very young age that someday he would meet his soulmate, and that they would be made for him. He would be happy, just like his parents. He dreamed of that meeting for years.

He was an ‘early bird’ for most of the soulmate community. Most people developed their soulmark by 18, but there were a few who were born with them, and even fewer who gained their marks before 18 but after birth. Changbin was one of those people.

At only 13 years old, he woke up one morning to find initials tattooed right below his left breast. He had stared at them for a solid minute in the bathroom mirror before he finally reacted, yelling so loudly that his parents came running. His mom was ecstatic, and he couldn’t stop smiling for the rest of the day. He was so excited that he happily relayed the news to all his friends in school, although he was a bit embarrassed when everyone asked to see it. After all, it wasn’t everyday someone got their soulmark early.

The hype died down pretty easily.

While the rest of the kids seemed to stop caring by the end of the week, Changbin still couldn’t stop the buzzing feeling that ran under his skin. Maybe that’s why he was so quick to believe the girl who claimed to be his soulmate.

At 13, a young girl who claimed she had been born seeing in black and white excitedly ran up to him. He recognized the girl from one of his classes, and when she claimed that she was his soulmate, he didn’t even stop to think if he had ever met eyes with her before. He didn’t stop to wonder about the coincidences of this happening just a week after he got his own soulmark or think about how easily he had shared his soulmark information with everyone at school.

All he could think of was that the moment he had been dreaming of for years was finally happening.

The worst part was that he fell for it so easily. She wasn’t everything he had thought a soulmate should be, but she was nice, and pretty, and made him happy.

They were together for 2 years.

2 years before she broke his heart, breaking up with him after she had met her real soulmate, and admitted that she wasn’t his soulmate. Admitted that she lied about it because she had a massive crush on him and realized that her initials matched up with his soulmates, so she lied to get him to date her. And now that she had met her real soulmate, she realized that she didn’t need him anymore. She didn’t want him anymore.

Why would she? She had a soulmate.

And Changbin should have had the same mindset. Why should he care about that one girl who lied to him, when out there, was someone meant for him, someone who would make him happy.

But he had been happy. He wasn’t sure if what he had felt was love, but he had spent 2 years with someone he thought he would spend the rest of his life with, and suddenly he had to accept that it was all a lie. He felt cheated. He felt betrayed.

He did what he did best.

Changbin began to write down all those feelings on paper, and discovered he was actually really good at it. He took every dark and sad aspect of his life and made it into something to lift others, and then he was auditioning for JYP. Before he knew it, Chan and Han saw his potential, and 3RACHA was formed. It wasn’t enough for him to forget the heartache he had experienced, but it was enough for him to move on from the experience.

It was when their maknae shared the news that he had met his soulmate that suddenly all those feelings came back like a sledgehammer to the gut.

He tried to be excited. But this was Jeongin, their baby, someone he needed to protect. The last thing he needed was for their maknae to go through the same horrible experience he had gone through. He forced a smile on his face to keep everyone else happy, but deep down he felt himself scrutinizing Jeongins ‘soulmate’.

He pulled them into a hug too tight, but other than a squeak of surprise, they made no protest. He said something crude in Korean, but they made no indication that they understood him, which meant at least they weren’t lying about not knowing Korean. He observed how they treated the other members with sharp eyes, making sure that they wouldn’t say or do anything mean.

He never expected them to be Felix’s soulmate. His skepticism grew and fell at the same time.

But as the realization that they were actually all of their soulmates, he found it harder and harder to pretend it was all a scam. He was cautious, but he felt something blooming in his chest again.

Hope.

Pretending to be one person’s soulmate was easy, but to fake 8 soulmarks? Their initials only sealed the deal for him. It wasn’t until the next morning, when he found out that Minho had spent the night with his soulmate, or when Han complained about Hyunjin getting handsy in the car, or even when he caught Han and his soulmate making out in the waiting room, that he finally decided to throw all caution to the wind.

He wasn’t going to let one heartache ruin his future.

After all, he was a hopeless romantic.

#stray kids x reader #skz x reader #stray kids x you #skz x you #chan x reader #chan x you #bangchan x reader #bangchan x you #changbin x reader #changbin x you #lee minho x reader #lee minho x you #minho x reader #minho x you #hyunjin x reader #hyunjin x you #han x you #han x reader #jisung x reader #jisung x you #felix x you #felix x reader #seungmin x you #seungmin x reader #in x you #in x reader #jeongin x reader #jeongin x you #stray kids fanfic #In Your Past