#and like while i do very much appreciate his work (i toured a different house of his once and i would 100% recommend)

[bartxnhood]

another life | c.b

colby brock x fem!ghost!reader

summary: on a certain investigation, colby finds himself oddly intrigued by the mystery surrounding your passing. so, he tries his best to help you move on.

warnings: sadness, angst, murder, bittersweet ending.

a/n: hi loves ! long time no see ! i haven’t been writing like i usually do, to lack of inspiration and motivation. i hope this can make up for it. also my first time writing for colby, so i hope i did okay ! if you’d like to see more let me know !! also this was slightly inspired by corpse bride especially the scene at the end. iykyk. enjoy <3 feedback is appreciated !

requests open

not proofread

Copyright © 2022 bartxnhood. All rights reserved. This original work is not allowed to be reposted on any platform in any format.

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the thought of the idea of something after life always intrigued you. what happened to someone after passing? or did your life begin again after death? but after passing, you were hit with the reality that you’d be bound to the house you died in; and living the same thing almost every single time.

after a couple years the constant investigation it was getting very annoying. at first, you’d interact the best you could but when they’d take it too far and taunt you, you’d slowly begin to stop giving them what they want. they’d always seem to be disappointed and often left not believing. you’ve come to understand the why humans think, trying to prove the existence of the after life. you know if someone truly believed they wouldn’t be so aggressive.

no one had toured the house in what felt like a long time. on one night in particular you heard commotion outside, so, you peeked out the curtains seeing a group of people, around your age. they all took a step back and panned what you had come to recognize as a camera towards the house. your eyes caught a blonde girl as she scanned the windows but her eyes landed on you.

as the sam panned the camera on the victorian era home, amanda noticed you. her eyes locking with yours before you vanished into the blackness behind you. she thought about mentioning your presence but she decided to wait until they were inside.

they were greeted with a guild which you were also familiar with. they had stopped in first two rooms downstairs before coming up to the third floor.

the guide lead them up the spiral staircase into the mist anticipated room of the night. your bedroom.

“now, you may notice the energy shifting in this room, it’s much darker and heavier.” she started “the mystery surrounding y/ns death is still pretty much unsolved” she stood at the foot of your bed. “people suspect she died of a broken heart, but there is also a theory that she was murdered by her sister to get with her fiancé” you stood in the corner behind her, she stepped to the side showing a photograph of the man. sam zoomed in on the photo while the guide continued to give misleading details about your story. “most people don’t believe this story to be true as there is no evidence of a murder happening. so, we may never know.”

amanda pipes up, “is she known to be active?.” the guide shakes her head, “when we first opened for investigations she was our most popular ghost and was the most active one but eventually she just stopped. so, people would often leave disappointed. some people would try to taunt her, but it only made her not want to interact anymore.”

the group nodded. “y/n, if you’re here we want you to know we aren’t here to harm you, we’d love to talk to you more tonight if you’re down.” colby said, looking around the room, hoping you’d be listening. “lets check out the rest of the house shall we?” sam asked and they all nodded.

you watched as the group returned to your bedroom, setting up the camera before going over their last investigation.

“the energy is so different from the rest of the house.” nate started, filing in behind the blonde boy. “i feel just this heaviness on my chest. like i could cry” he added. colby nodded in agreement, “yeah, i feel like that earlier. it’s very overwhelming.”

if you still had a heart you knew it would ache, watching colby, the taller and darker headed man walk around in your bedroom admiring what used to be yours. you watched the man who reminded you of the man who you once loved with all of your heart.

“the guide said everything here is all original to y/n, correct?” sam nodded, reaching into his bag for the two flashlights. “yes, everything here is the same as it was when she was alive.”

your felt especially sad, spectating these people in your area, saying everything they could but you were still stuck in silence.

you knew the blonde girl could see you but it had been so long since someone could see you, you were afraid. ironically. “she’s sad”

amanda stood across from you, “she wants to communicate with us but doesn’t know how. she feels lonely.”

“so these are flashlights, i will sit these on the dresser and basically you can use your energy to turn these on and off for yes and no.”

you moved from your bed to the dresser and tried out the flashlight. it took a few seconds but you eventually got it on, it took more energy than you thought. “she’s here!” nate chirped.

“y/n if this is you can you turn off the flashlight?” sam asked, you began dimming the light and eventually it turned off. “y/n, you’re free to use our energy if it helps you communicate.”

once again, you turn the flashlight on again, but a tad quicker this time. colby grins, “this is crazy. okay, y/n. i’m colby, this sam, nate, and that’s amanda.” he introduced everyone. “we want you to know we don’t want to force you or push you into anything. we just want to know who you were.” the one you came to know as nate said.

“how about we move to the bed?” nate added, for a change of pace.

now colby was lying on what was previously your bed and carefully you laid next to him. “holy shit dude” he looked at nagw. “what?” sam said, who was filming. “swear to god i just felt the side of the bed dip like she is laying next to me” “holy shit, for real?” he asked, couldn’t nodded. “yes.” he then paused, “y/n are you laying next to colby?” the four looked at the flashlights now on the bedside table.

you turned it on. then off

“y/n, would you like to talk to us?”

you turned it back on signaling you wanted to talk more

“okay, we’re going to pull out a spirit box and you can talk through it using the channels.”

“hi” you started the session with. finally feeling relieved being able to finally talk.

nate asked “y/n, are you lonely?”

“yes” “very”

“do you miss interaction?”

“of course.”

“y/n, how do you feel about us being here?” amanda questioned.

“happy.” “comfort”

“do you mean you feel comforted?”

“yes.”

“y/n, did you die from a broken heart?”

it fell silent for a few seconds, you begin reliving that night. “no.” you answered.

“we’re you murdered by your sister?”

“yes.”

sam and nate shared glances them looked back at colby.

“we’re sorry that happened, y/n. you seem like you were very sweet and to be surrounded by all of this sadness is very overwhelming. i cant imagine how you must feel.” amanda could feel the pain radiating from your energy.

“thank you, amanda.” you said, knowing if you could you would be crying.

“are you trapped here?” sam stood up from behind nate.

“i don’t know”

“have you tried leaving?”

“no”

nate hummed, “maybe she feels the need to stay here, like it’s her duty? she doesn’t have anyone waiting for her so maybe she just needs the okay for her to move on” he conspired, the rest hummed in agreement. “that could be a big possibility” colby says.

“yes” you answered from the spirit box, they all shot up to look at each other “yes!” sam repeated your answer throwing his hands onto his head. “wow, that’s a lot” nate added, laughing after.

“amanda and nate, do you guys wanna take the basement? i’ll take the second floor and colby can stay here?” sam suggested and everyone else agreed.

the rest of the group left, leaving you alone with colby and a few pieces of equipment.

“y/n, looks like it’s just us.” he announced, closing he door.

the flashlights were left on the bedsides and he walked over to your bed. “is it okay if it sit on your bed?” you turned on the flashlight closer to him, answering his question. he sat down and laid the spirit box next to him letting it run through channels. you suddenly came through the box “hi. colby.”

“hi, y/n” he smiled, glancing to the camera to make sure it was still recording. “i know you like to touch people, so feel free to touch me or use my energy if you want to talk more. we aren’t here to harm you.”

you smiled, answering. “thank you.” you carefully sat next to him, not wanting to startle him like last time. but, he still noticed. “holy shit. i just felt the bed sink next to me.” he talked to the camera, he took a deep breathe calming himself. “this is insane” he added. there was a few seconds of silence. you took this opportunity to finally to physical interaction. hesitating, you rested your hand on his which was laying on his knee.

colby froze, a huge wave of emotions flooded his mind. his heart began to ache feeling your sadness. his hand was ice cold, “is this you, y/n? are you touching my hand?” for just a moment, if he had closed his eyes and focused enough, he could picture you sitting next to him. though you didn’t answer, you only sat there still holding his hand.

“this is insane guys. i’ve never feel like this before” the camera, which was in his other hand was now panning to his hand. “my hand is freezing. i feel so many emotions right now.” he said, taking in a deep breath. “i’ve never felt like this before” he explained. you admired him, his kind soul, his gentle presence and peace of mind. “thank you, colby” you used the last bit of your energy you had so he could hear your voice.

he shot up from the bed and dropped the camera on the nightstand. “oh my fucking god” he mumbled, now pacing back and forth. “guys i don’t know if the camera caught that but i swear to god i just heard a voice” he ran his hands through his hair, feeling tears welling in his eyes. “holy shit guys.” he walked back and picked up the camera, documenting his tears. “that’s insane.”

you kind of felt bad, not expecting someone to cry so suddenly. “i’m sorry” you spoke from the spirit box. “no, no don’t be sorry. that was amazing. thank you for that y/n.”

the sound of an alarm went off and colby checked his phone which meant the group would return to colby.

colby was still emotional when the rest of the group returned, sam was the first one to see him. “dude? what happened?!” he asked. “you’re never going to believe this sam”. colby started but didn’t tell the story until amanda and nate came back.

colby turned the camera off before rewinding to the part you spoke in and there it was, clear as day. your voice. something you hadn’t heard in many years. “dude!” “bro!” “oh my god!” the othe three exclaimed. “that’s actually insane, colby. no wonder you’re tore up” amanda added.

“i’ve never felt like this before. just the pure wave of hurt, pain, loneliness, and sadness is just overwhelming. i cant even put into words how it made me feel. and after i heard her voice, knowing she is here is just so insane. that was an amazing experience”. sam agreed, keeping focus on colby as he spoke.

colby added “so, thank you, y/n for talking with us and sharing your story. you seem to be a wonderful soul and you deserve so much more than being trapped in this house. i want you to know that it’s okay to move on now, you can be at peace. the world will know your story now.” he wiped his eyes, now coming down from the overwhelming emotions.

you smiled, standing in front of the group. the sudden feeling of warmth and comfort surrounded your spirit. turned you head to look at amanda, “thank you”. you closed your eyes.

“she said thank you.” the blonde said, she also now felt emotional watching you find peace.

closing your eyes you fell your body being surrounded by light, and your soul was now at peace. you were able to move on now, all thanks to colby.

#colby brock #colby brock x y/n #colby brock x reader #colby brock x you #colby brock imagine #colby brock fanfic #colby brock fic #colby brock fluff #colby brock angst

[foolforharrry]

Cactus Mug - Harry Styles Oneshot

Summary: After being away from each other for so long while Harry is on tour, y/n finally decides to go surprise Harry.

2.5k words

Any support is very appreciated. And if you have any requests feel free to send an ask, comment or a direct message

Also let me know if you guys want a part 2

Here's my masterlist if you want to check out more of my stuff

Harry has been on tour for months now. Waking up to a cold bed alone every day is something he’s made known he absolutely despises. As much as he loves performing in front of his fans every night, touring can get lonely. And some days are harder than others.

Today has been one of those days.

The first thing I did when I opened my eyes was to check my phone for a text message from Harry. 

And like almost every single morning, there it was. The notification bubble with his contact name in.

H: Missing you extra tonight. I can’t wait to finally kiss you and have you in my arms again. This house doesn’t really feel like a home without you. So I might have tried out that new recipe you sent me the other day. The mushroom risotto. Not sure where I went wrong, but it didn’t taste very good. So you’ll have to show me how to make it when you get here. Only one more week, yeah? Goodnight, my love.

Reading it, all I could think about was the disappointed frown he must’ve had on his face when he realised that he had messed up the food. Knowing him, he would have eaten as much of it as he could stomach.

It was then I decided to call my boss and ask her if there was any chance that I could work from home. I wasn’t 100% sure if she would grant it, but she must’ve heard the desperation in my voice and decided to show me mercy. 

Before Harry, I’d never seen myself as someone who would be able to be in a long-distance relationship. In the past when situations where a relationship would’ve become long distance, I was always the one to end it, not being able to stand being away from the person for that long.

But with Harry it was different. With him, it’s worth it.

That doesn’t mean I’m not counting down the days until we can be together again from the minute he leaves.

Which is why I didn’t think the flight through enough and ended up having to sprint through the airport to make it to my gate in order to not miss my flight, knowing I definitely forgot to pack something I’m going to need but it’s too late to worry about that now.

The second I’m squeezed between a teenage girl and a middle-aged man on the plane at 12:05 pm, I fish my phone out of my pocket again with hands shaky from excitement and nerves. Both over seeing Harry again and the sneaky element of flying to him without him knowing I am.

Me: Morning, Angel. I’ve got a really busy day at work today, so I’m sorry if I don’t get back to you before late. And of course, I’ll teach you how to make it (what would you do without me?). I love you higher than the sky xx

I’m hoping he won’t ask me any questions about what I’m going to be so busy with since I’m a horrible liar, especially under stress. 

My prayers are answered when his reply comes almost immediately. The text message attached to a photo of his sleep-puffed face with his eyes closed, pink lips puckered and his hair wild and curly from sleep.

H: Sending all my love and kisses to you baby. Good luck with your day. If you’re not too tired when you get home, we could facetime? I miss your voice so much.

Me: It’ll be nice to see your face again. I miss it.

H: If you miss it too much you can always just look at your lock screen, you know.

Me: Yes. This solves all of my problems! Bye now, my love.

I have to bite the inside of my cheek to keep myself from smiling like a psychopath as I type out one last text message and attach a photo I know will hurt his ego a bit before I set my phone to flight mode.

There hasn’t gone a week since the photo was taken where I haven’t reminded him of its existence. If I can’t share it with anyone else, I’m gonna share it with him.

It was taken almost a year ago in the hotel room we were staying in. Harry had demanded that I take a photo of him with his new cactus mug. The mug was adorable and literally looked like a cactus. He had been posing by the sofa when he forgot that tea is hot. The sip of tea he’d just taken had been sent flying everywhere as well as all the tea that was still inside the mug. 

I thank the lucky stars every day for live photos.

While he had been panicking about burning his tongue, he had ended up dropping the mug to the floor. Something he says he’s still upset over.

So last week, when I saw a mug almost identical to the one he broke, I had to buy it for him. It’s safely tucked in my bag. My favourite hoodie of Harry’s is wrapped around it to keep it from breaking. Hopefully.

“You need to put your seatbelt on, miss.”

The polite voice snaps me out of my thought, turning my head to look at the flight attendant. It takes me a second to comprehend, what she says, but when I do I thank her quickly, offering her a small smile before fastening my seatbelt.

When I’m secured, I plug my wired AirPods in, and try my best to get comfortable for the six-hour flight ahead of me

-

I’ve never really been a fan of flying. 

The idea of being crammed in a metal box with a bunch of strangers high up in the clouds for a longer period of time just never appealed to me. Especially not with the occasional screaming baby.

But this might have been one of the least uncomfortable flights I’ve ever taken.

Sleeping for most of it might have a lot to do with it, but oh well.

I’m not gonna lie and say that it wasn’t a relief to finally exit the plane and stand in a building that doesn’t lift off the ground either.

However, that relief doesn’t even get close to the feeling when I finally lay eyes on my final destination.

When the driver finally stops the car, I’m quick to pay before I’m hauling myself and my bag out of the cab while thanking him over my shoulder. He drives off immediately, leaving me alone in front of the house I’m starting to think is empty.

The lights are all turned off and Harry’s car isn’t parked in its usual spot. He only ever parks it in the garage when he’s leaving LA.

A bit defeated, I take my keychain out of the outer pocket of my bag as I step up the few stairs leading to the front door. Finally, after fiddling with it for way too long, I find the right key.

Like I thought, the house is empty. There is no music playing anywhere. The TV is off and there is no sign of life as I drop my bag by the staircase. 

Still, just the faint smell of him feels like a warm, much-needed hug.

Not wanting to spoil the surprise, but also wanting to know what he’s up to, I get my phone out of my back pocket and dial Harry’s number on my way up the stairs to the second floor.

He picks up before I’ve reached the top.

“Hi, love.”, Harry’s voice has a smile forming on my face within seconds.

I stop in my tracks, willing my heart to slow down again half convinced he’s able to hear it through the phone from how hard it’s beating. Even after all this time, just hearing his voice makes my stomach fill with butterflies. “Hi, baby. I only have a second. But i wanted to hear your voice. what are you up to?”

That’s a good lie, right? 

“I’m on my way to the shop right now. I was craving grapes. Are you ok, though? You sound a little out of breath.” 

“I just ran up the stairs.” Not a complete lie. “But anyways. I have to go again.”

“Already?”, he asks, his voice sounding sad. 

“I’m sorry, my love.” I genuinely am. “But hey. We’ll see each other so soon, yeah? Can’t wait to see you.”

He hums, “One more week.”

After saying goodbye, I hang up, doing some quick calculations in my head that I do have time to shower the icky feeling of flying off me before he gets back home from the store if I’m fast.

Not wasting any time, I speed walk to our bedroom, making a beeline for Harry’s side of the closet so I can grab one of his hoodies. I settle on a pastel yellow one with a big kawaii drawing of a pug on the front before shuffling to grab a pair of grey sweatpants and some underwear from my own side of the closet.

Since I’m not entirely sure exactly how much time I have before Harry is going to be back home, I decide against music. I can’t let myself get carried away and take too long.

But before I strip out of my clothes and hop in the shower, I run downstairs, pull the cactus mug out of my bag and set it on top of the kitchen island next to the plain black one with a used tea bag that was already left there.

Just in case.

As much as I love our home in New York, it just hasn’t felt the same while he’s been away. The only mess in the apartment was made by me and me alone.

And I’m not gonna lie and say that I haven’t missed the way Harry always leaves a mess behind throughout the week. Whether that be a towel on the floor or a heap of clothes left slung over a chair. Or the way he would vow to get better at tidying up after himself every Sunday only to never follow through on it.

So seeing all the different products and stuff scattered all over the dark grey bathroom countertops brings me a sense of peace I didn’t know that I needed.

I make quick work of my shower, even turning the water off while washing my hair and body to force myself to be more efficient. But even with that, I wasn’t fast enough.

While in the process of pulling the soft hoodie over my head, my breath gets caught in my throat when I hear footsteps just outside the bathroom door.

They’re very quiet. Almost as if the person is trying to keep themselves from anyone hearing them. I wouldn’t even have caught them if it weren’t for the fact that I didn’t close the door all the way.

“Fuck.”, I curse, scrambling to loop my arms through the sleeves just as the door swings open fully to reveal a sight that has me torn between whether to laugh or cry from pure happiness.

Harry is holding a frying pan up in defence, clutching it with both hands as if his life depends on it. And I can’t decide whether he looks terrified or surprised.

I clear my throat, not even caring about the whole plan I had been ruined. “You just gonna stand there, Rapunzel?”

One second later and he’s dropped the frying pan, the sound of it clattering to the ground echoes around the bathroom. But I don’t get to even look at it for more than just a moment before I’m engulfed in one of the tightest hugs I’ve ever gotten.

Harry’s arms go around my waist, burying his face in my neck when I hug him back. I have to stand on my tippy toes to loop my arms around his neck, feeling my eyes start to well up with tears. It’s only now that I’m back in his arms, feeling his chest move with every breath he takes and the puffs of air fanning out over the soft skin of my neck with each exhale.

He’s so freaking warm too. Not just physically. But just the feel of being close enough to smell his cologne and the faint remnants of his body wash makes a warmth spread through my whole body. It’s like taking a sip of hot tea when you’re freezing cold. The heat slowly expanded from my heart to my fingertips.

It feels like home.

“What the fuck are you doing here?”, Harry mumbles, forcing a choked chuckle from me as I hug him tighter. “I can always go back to New York if you don’t want me here.”, I joke without meaning it one bit. You’d have to knock me out and drag me along the floor for me to leave.

Pulling back enough to look me in the eye, Harry takes my face in his hands, “If you even think about leaving me alone again, I’m going to follow you. And then when I’ve caught you. I’m gonna throw tomatoes at you.”

The more he speaks, the more he squishes my cheeks, making my words partly slurred which only makes it that much harder to keep a straight face. “What if I want you to throw tomatoes at me?”

He tilts his head to the side with a chuckle, dimples indenting his cheeks. His green eyes look like they’re sparkling from the way the light reflects in them and blush has painted his cheeks pink.

“You’re fucking impossible, you know.”, he breathes out with a laugh.

I run my fingers through his hair, getting distracted momentarily by how soft his curls are. “You still love me, right?”

Instead of answering me with words, Harry ducks down, pressing his lips against mine in a way that has me losing my breath as my eyelids fall shut.

The way he kisses me turns me into putty in his arms. Both from how gently his hands hold my face to how soft his lips are as he mumbles ‘I love you' against my lips between kisses until I’m giggling too much to kiss him back and he just starts peppering kisses all over my face.

I tug lightly on his hair to get pull his face back a bit when I hear a sniffle, frowning when I see his eyes watery with unshed tears. the tip of his nose is a bit red and his lips turned into a pout.

It’s when I ask him what’s wrong, a single tear starts rolling down his cheek quickly followed by another.

Harry blinks rapidly, looking up at the ceiling as he sniffles again but doesn’t tell me why he’s crying.

Wiping his tears away with my thumbs, I kiss his moist cheek tenderly, toying with the curls at the nape of his neck. “Tell me what’s wrong, Angel.”

“I just missed you.”, Harry sniffles. “They’re happy tears though.”

“I missed you too.”, I admit. Whispering it to him as if I haven’t told him that I miss him every day we’ve been apart.

“Now really. How are you here, baby?”, Harry asks seriously, sliding his hands from my face down my neck. “I thought you couldn’t get away from work for another week.”

“Well.”, I start, already feeling my cheeks heat up, “Asking your boss very nicely with a drop of desperation seems to work wonders.”

Harry smirks, “Desperation huh?” Even his chest puffs in pride.

“I had to give you your belated birthday present.”, I explain to him, feeling giddy as I remember the genius purchase I made.

“My birthday is in February, love.”

I roll my eyes at him, grabbing his hand before dragging him with me. Careful to step over the pan he dropped.

“Where are we going?”, Harry asks. He still laces our fingers together, giving my hand a squeeze. It might as well have been my heart he had his hand wrapped around with the jump it made at the gesture.

“To get you your present.”

-

#harry #harry smut #harry styles one shot #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles blurb #harry styles fluff #harry styles masterlist #harry styles imagine #harry styles x reader #harry styles smut #harry styles #one direction #fanfiction #masterlist #harry styles concept #harry love on tour #love on tour

[soshiharin]

looking out

summary: in which harin sees hajoon again

set: 5 nov 2019

word count: 1.7k

warnings: mention of food and drinks; swearing; angst

an: words in bold are korean, words in bold and italics are italian. send an ask/dm to be added to the taglist. feedback and reblogs are much appreciated 💐

harin’s masterlist

Harin gasped as she was embraced in a hug before the door had fully opened. She wrapped her arms around her brother as he slightly lifted her off the ground. They pulled apart with a kiss on the cheek, walking into the apartment.

“So?” Hajoon asked as Harin got a good look at his townhouse apartment. He went into the kitchen to continue preparing their dinner.

Harin nodded, impressed at the place her brother called home. “It’s great. It really is.” She walked past the dining room and onto the patio. “The garden is a nice plus!” She called out as she returned to the kitchen.

“Yeah, Tommy was adamant on getting this apartment because of the garden,” he said, stirring one of his pans. Tommy was his close friend and roommate.

“Tommy is very smart.” She walked up to her brother, watching as he moved on to chopping an onion. “What’re you making?”

He gathered the cheeses and eggs that he was going to mix together. “I know you can’t cook, but can you really not tell?” He teased, measuring how much of each ingredient he needed.

Harin rolled her eyes. “This truly just looks like you put your entire fridge on the island.”

Hajoon paused from where he was fetching the herbs he needed. “That’s insulting. I’m making lasagna,” he told her, adding the fresh parsley to his bowl.

Harin looked over the pots and bowls on the island. “Now it looks… more recognisable,” she said, causing Hajoon to scoff as he began to grate his cheese. “How’s the restaurant?”

Hajoon had started a restaurant with Tommy in 2017. Their restaurant, Seoul in Rome, specialised in Italian and Korean cuisine, influenced by their upbringing.

“It’s going good, it’s going good. We bought the open space next door to ours, and we’re gonna turn that space into a fine-dining area. We’re going to add a kitchen on that side so that we don’t confuse the ingredients for the different sides.”

She walked around the island, standing by the barstools “That sounds exciting. I think. I’m not quite sure…”

“It’s exciting,” Hajoon said, getting started on assembling the lasagna. He spread two spoons of sauce over the bottom of the baking dish that he was going to use, adding two layers of noodles over the sauce to cover it. “Thanks to the money you give us every month, we were able to save all the extra cash and put it towards buying the open space.”

“Yeah, well… I’m a humanitarian.” She bragged with a shrug. “But I’m glad that everything’s going well with the restaurant. I’ll have to pay it a visit while I’m still in New York.”

“Sounds cool! I’ll give you a tour of the place and show you what we’re planning on doing,” he said, adding half of the cheese mixture and sauce. He added the remaining noodles, cheese and sauce before retrieving the aluminium foil and covering the dish with it. He placed the dish in his preheated oven, setting an oven for thirty-five minutes on his phone. He turned around to face his sister. “You know you can sit down, right?” He asked, staring at the barstool she was standing next to.

Harin rolled her eyes as she pulled out the nearest barstool for her to sit on. “Forgive me for trying to work on my posture. Eomma might kill me if I don’t start standing up straight.”

Hajoon chuckled, washing his hands before drying them. “Would you like anything to drink? I can offer you water, soda, fresh fruit juice, and wine,” he listed off, walking to his fridge.

“For a house owned by two men, you sure do have a lot of choices,” she teased, holding up one finger.

He understood her request, fetching a glass from the cupboard. “We’re not just two men, we’re two chefs, so our fridge is always stocked,” he told her as he poured her water before passing it to her.

She accepted it with a smile, taking a sip. She played with the end of her hair as Hajoon began cleaning up the kitchen.

“What’s wrong, noona?” He asked, putting the herbs he used away.

Harin shook her head as she answered, “Nothing’s wrong.”

He shot her an incredulous look. “Then why are you playing with your hair?”

She stopped flicking the tips of her hair this way and that, reaching forward to hold her glass. “Um, I… I have something to tell you.”

“Okay,” he said, putting down the pots that were in his hand and moving to stand in front of her.

“Um… I–” she groaned. “I got back together with Dongwook,” she blurted with a shy smile on her face.

Hajoon inhaled deeply, his chest moving with his breath. “Hm,” he hummed before returning to organising the dirty dishes.

“Wait, that– That’s all you have to say?” She expressed her shock.

“What else should I say?” He asked, his voice void of all emotion.

“I don’t know. Maybe ‘Congratulations!’ or some shit like that?”

His back still faced his sister as he asked, “Why would I say that?”

“Because this is a happy moment for me and you’re happy for m–”

“I’m not happy for you,” he interrupted, causing Harin’s smile to drop.

“You’re not?”

“Why would I be?”

“I… I’m dating Dongwook again! We– He’s… We’re back together.”

Hajoon sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. “And why would I be happy about that?”

“He’s… He’s Dongwook. He’s great, he’s–”

“The guy that broke your heart?” He asked, turning around and crossing his arms. “Or is this a different Dongwook I don’t know about?”

Harin nervously bit her bottom lip as she watched her brother. “He’s the same one, but… he’s changed. We talked about it. I forgave him. You can be happy for me.”

“No, I can’t.”

“Why not?”

“The only times I had ever seen you cry were at concerts, at–at–at your plays, or on other random days, like my graduation. He had you crying everyday for months. So no, I won’t be happy that you’re back together with him, okay?”

Tapping her fingers against her glass, Harin tried again. “Well, he said his family is happy we’re together again.”

He scoffed, rubbing his forehead. “Of fucking course they are, Harper. Why wouldn’t they be over the fucking moon that you’re giving him another chance to break your heart, hm? I mean, I can’t believe how naive you are!”

“I’m not naive.”

“Then why are you doing this! Why were you expecting me to give you flowers and shit for telling me this? If I reacted joyfully, it would mean that I don’t give a shit about you,” he said, turning around to get started on the dishes.

“Hajoon-ah, I know that you have some resentment towards him, but he’s changed. I know he has, and if you just give him a chance, you’ll know it too. I’m a grown woman, okay? I can make my own decisions without you judging me.”

“And when those decisions leave you calling me because you’re having a panic attack and you can’t breathe, I’ll remind you of that.”

A silence overtook the kitchen, only the sound of cars outside filling the room. They didn’t speak for almost five minutes, both trying to calm themselves down.

“You’re the–” Hajoon swallowed past the lump in her throat. “You’re the first person I’ve told. You’re the first person I wanted to tell.”

Hajoon shook his head, refusing to turn around and look at his sister. “Dinner will be ready in twenty minutes.”

“Harrison. Harrison! Are you being serious, right now?”

He sighed. “Can you take the plates out? They’re in the cupboard over there.” He pointed to his left at the overhead cupboards.

Harin nodded, feeling a dull stinging at her eyes. She sniffled, trying to regain her composure. “You know what? I lost my appetite, so I’m just gonna go back to my hotel.” She moved to stand up, waiting for him to say anything.

“You do that,” he said after almost a minute of silence.

“Okay,” she muttered. She walked past the living room and picked her bag up from the couch before going to open the front door.

“Woah! Hey,” Tommy greeted, standing by the door as if he were just about to open it. “Sorry to interrupt your sibling bonding session, I need to fetch something from my room.”

“It’s fine, I’m leaving anyway.”

“Already?”

“Yeah. See you next time, Tommy,” she said, pushing past him and walking down the long hallway. She turned the corner, continuing to walk down the hallway until she reached the elevator. Pressing the down button, she waited for the lift to come. After less than a minute of waiting, she heard hurried footsteps.

Tommy put his arm against the wall as he panted. “Harry said– Oh, just give me a second.” He took a few deep breaths. “Harry said to text me when you get to your hotel.”

Harin nodded, her lips pursed. “He doesn’t even want to hear from me. Great.” She hurriedly pressed the elevator button again.

“Hey, I know it’s not really my place to say, but… Harry may be younger than you, but he looks out for you like he’s older. I don’t know what your argument was about, but I’m pretty sure he was reacting from a place of protectiveness and–”

“I don’t fucking care what place he was reacting from,” Harin interrupted. “I just want this fucking elevator to work so I can go sleep.” She repeatedly pressed the button, visibly annoyed.

“Oh, uh, that button doesn’t work,” Tommy told her. He reached forward to press the up button, the elevator making a ding! sound as it began moving to her floor. “It’s getting fixed next week… But, just give him some time. I’m sure once he’s calmed down, he’ll tell you that he’s sorry.”

“Thanks, Tommy, but I… He needs to fucking grow up,” she muttered as the elevator arrived. “I’ll text you later,” she said, pressing the button for the ground floor before the doors closed.

Harin leaned her head against the back of the elevator with a sigh. She knew that Hajoon had some resentment towards Dongwook, but she didn’t know just how strong it was.She didn’t need his approval to do what she wanted, but to know that he was so against it… hurt.

©️ jang harin

#ficnetfairy #snsd 9th member #snsd ninth member #snsd oc #snsd addition #snsd added member #snsd extra member #snsd member au #snsd imagines #kpop oc #kpop addition #kpop added member #kpop extra member #kpop au #kpop imagines #jang harin

[bul-bor]

hws baltic headcanons

i have been home from school for two weeks and im already mind-numbingly bored

here are head-canons for the baltics bc they’re the best, also gonna add what ages i think they are physically bc the ones they have are Not Correct

As a trio...

they go on a baltic tour every couple years! they take like... 5-6 weeks off of work to travel their countries together and appreciate each other’s cultures :D they always start in Lithuania and go north from there

Raivis can’t drink in public due to how he looks physically, so he ends up DD’ing a lot of the time

eduard has transitional frames and gets laughed at every time for them

eduard and raivis can certainly TRY and get tolys to play video games with them, but he can only learn one console at a time (”I brought my ‘Whee’ remote for games!” “Tolys, it’s on your phone.”)

When they live together/vacation together, Tolys is very much the “it’s 6:30, let’s get our day going!!” (when he’s having a good day)

eduard is only on 4 hours of sleep by 6:30

raivis doesn’t move from his bed until 11:30 AM MINIMUM

in world meetings they’ll pass notes to each other and do hypotheticals and bets to pass the time

3 v. 1 who do you think we can take in a fight RIGHT now? -E

lunch says that the meeting ends early for the world cup qualifying match -r

Be honest- Do you two think that aliens are actually real?? No wrong answers :) -T

Lithuania/Tolys (26)

he’s not a pushover!! i think, if anything, he’s conflict-avoidant, but he picks his battles

along with this, he’s gotten A LOT more vocal with how he feels. Not necessarily to an Alfred or Ludwig level, but he does find himself raising his hand 3 or 4 times during meetings

i! think he plays the guitar :) is he good at it? different question

no

but his singing is not the worst, so it kind of makes up for it

big dogs or bust

he def gets a dog, in part to stay active and to get out of the house at least once a day

journals on the regular and is learning to establish boundaries with others

i think he’s pretty goofy and mischievous behind closed doors >:)

doesn’t drink coffee anymore

UNDER THE RIGHT CIRCUMSTANCES*, loves arm wrestling because he wins 80% of the time and almost everyone is surprised by it

*has ingested enough alcohol to not be shy about it

Estonia/Eduard (23)

knows he’s the most musically inclined between the three of them, isn’t humble about it in the slightest

GOSSIPER- you’ll be like “nobody can know this” and eduard will be like “nobody = tolys and raivis”

raivis and tolys won’t tell anyone for sure tho

likes to bring the Nordics and the Baltics together for small parties

this group dynamic works surprisingly well!

one time, tolys brought along feliks and throwing feliks into the mix somehow off-sets this balance so bad

super grouchy without 8 hours of sleep

coffee drinker ONLY on days when he needs it

developed a dependence for a little bit, then never forgot the migraine he had when he missed his morning cup

loves other people’s animals, doesn’t necessarily want his own

he likes anything to do with water- boating? bet. fishing? bait. oh we’re swimming? he has trunks on underneath his slacks

the con to this is that he burns the easiest out of the three

Latvia/Raivis (16 (but he has a baby face))

i think he’s HILARIOUS online, but cannot land a punchline in person to save his life

cat person for sure

now that he lives alone, he had to adapt a new routine to turn all the lights off in his house without absolutely sobbing

tolys ALSO has this problem, so they end up on the phone with each other anxiously warbling while they run around their separate houses

saw someone else say this, cannot remember who, but every time, without fail, raivis falls asleep on the train

it was thru one of eduard’s get togethers that he got his little gig babysitting sealand

REALLY wants all the younger appearing nations to all hang out, but is much to shy to initiate it

accident prone as hell, if he can avoid complicated cooking he will

BUT, if someone’s with him, he his all for utilizing his entire kitchen for a single meal

#hws #hetalia #hws lithuania #hws latvia #hws estonia #hetalia world stars #axis powers hetalia #aph lithuania #aph latvia #aph estonia #hws baltics #aph baltics #9 years of hell to this fandom #and i still have more

[aidansplaguewind]

First of all before I start, thank you for doing such interactions with the community even if not many are participating because reading the scenarios really makes me smile. I would definitely be interested if you posted the full story of your scenario and think many would be too. Okay... enough beating around the bush, but this just had to be said because I love your account. And sorry for the late submission, but German time zone and all that.

Well, how would my absolute dream encounter go? I'm taking a trip to Ireland and the coffee addict that I am, I would spend the morning in a quiet café in Dublin with the plan to explore the city afterwards. Of course, I know Aidan is currently in town, but I'm not getting my hopes up about meeting him because I don't want to be disappointed if it does not happen.

But then, as if in a dream encounter, Aidan enters the café, orders a coffee and sits down on the empty seat next to me to enjoy his drink. I, who of course knows who he is, would try to stay relaxed, which I manage to do, but inside I'm freaking out. We start a casual conversation, where I admit that I am a big fan, but he tells me that he doesn't mind. The hours pass, we order some pastries and talk about whatever comes to mind. I tell Aidan about my plan to sightsee, whereupon he tells me that he has the day off and would like to be my "tour guide". We spend the rest of the day walking around the city and getting to know each other further. We end the day with a delicious dinner, where he gives me his number and accompanies me back to my hotel, which happens to be very close to his house.

We spend the rest of the days of my trip together as well, at least as much as we can, since he's shooting the Kin series. I occasionally visit him at the shoot and we just have fun. Ideally, he would be single and the day would end differently than "just" bringing me to the hotel, but well, I don't want to get too unrealistic.

How would an encounter with Aidan really go? I would faint. To be more precise... when I would see him, I wouldn't get a word out and he would think I am completely nuts, but still be kind and take a picture with me. After he went on, I would immediately start regretting that I didn't say everything I wanted to say to him and then regret it forever.

Well, I hope you liked my little scenario. Although off topic now, I wanted to ask what happened to the Petyr x Sansa fanfiction you once started? However, I'm looking forward to the y/n story and wish you a nice day!

Sorry it took me a while to respond. I was working and then had to make dinner and do the mom thing and all that jazz.

Firstly, you go right ahead and fuck him in that fantasy encounter! Don't worry about it being unrealistic. That's the whole point of fantasy. If we had to make it realistic it would kill the thrill of it. He could be a fucking unicorn in it if it makes you happy. For real.

I appreciate the honesty on how you think you would react and feel if you did meet him. I too think I would be too nervous to function. I must be one of the few though that don't really have a laundry list of things I want to tell him. I have absolutely no desire to tell him how much I love him or how big a fan I am or if he's changed my life or anything like that. The only thing I might ever want to tell him (but wouldn't) is how unbelievably attractive he is and that's only because he truly doesn't realize it. Other than that? Nope. I get one chance to meet him. I want to hear something he has to say. Something I maybe didn't already know. I'm curious as to his opinions on some things, not all serious things. Lots are just fun or interesting things. If I interest him in the slightest as a person he's welcome to ask me anything he wants.

But I'd really get a kick out of making him laugh.

As far as my Petyr x Sansa fic...well there are several reasons I haven't touched them. One is that I'm one of those people who have a hard time finishing fics with lots of chapters because I always end up getting another idea that I like better and can't wait to write on. So I end up starting several and get overwhelmed and explode.

Another reason is one day I just kinda lost all inspiration to finish. For one, there are so many pxs fics there really aren't any topics that haven't been touched. So it all started to feel kind of repetitive. And I was like, what's the point? I honestly didn't think enough people cared anyway.

If there is one I want to finish, it's probably Rest In Pieces. I'm not sure why. Maybe because I think it might be the only one of it's kind. Also because of the way I did flash backs it gave me the ability to have fun with those "firsts" as well as have fun and explore missing someone you don't want to go on without. To have had the best and think, that's it, what's the point in going on? And there's exploring Petyr as a father. Because as much as I love his wickedness, I love that Aidan himself is so sweet, and I think maybe if anything could change a man it would be the birth of his first child. Over anything. I know you can't fix a man, I know from experience. But the hopeless romantic in me wants to believe there is some good in Petyr somewhere, it just got crushed and tucked away to keep himself safe.

The only thing is, I know I can write better now than I did when I wrote that fic initially. So I feel like it would need a complete re-write. And the likelihood of me having that kind of time to spare is...well, not likely. That would mean just picking it up and writing differently and the perfectionist in me loathes that idea.

So....I dunno man. I just don't know. 🤷🏼‍♀️

#anon #fantasy encounters #aidan gillen #meeting

[reesmurray68]

A Owner's Manual For Hue Downtown Activities

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The story "The Four Little Children" is about four siblings named Lisa, David, Stacy and Karen. They use wild adventures using imaginary friend Ramor. Ramor takes the children on the coolest adventures ever!!

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#Top Ben Tre AZ #Ben Tre Viet Nam

[4dtk]

jaehyun as a bf

anon: “your writing brings me butterflies i love it you are so underrated!!!!! would love to request a jaehyun bf headcanons (like the one you did of mark <3)” thank you for the kind words anon <333 hope you enjoy this one!

(a bit of a plug lol but check out NCT 127's ideal r/s headcanons in this post!! i appreciate you checking it out! <3)

brief mentions of sex, but nothing explicitly nsfw!

likes to talk about music with you

especially jazz. there’s a plethora of songs out there with different renditions and sometimes he likes to ramble about who’s rendition he likes best

would play the piano for you if you asked, just maybe not after schedules or something. but usually when you’re free or alone together in the room, he likes you to sit beside him to listen to him play

you guys like to play a little game where he’ll play the chords and you play like a random note to create blobs of music

even if you don’t know how, the way the session always dissolves into giggles is his favourite thing in the world

if you know how to play the piano that’s great too!! jaehyun just likes the unexpected notes that come out since there’s no set melody in his mind

jaehyun needs to have some part of his body on yours at all times. like he has to hold your hand all the time, or a finger hooked around your backpack, or an arm around your waist.

at least when you’re together he does it very often and he’s just. obsessed with you lmfao

it’s also the reason he buys a promise ring when he’s sure of you as a significant other so you always have a part of him with you (his love)

would buy you those lockets for you to put pictures inside. he doesn’t care where you wear it though, around your neck, wrist, ankle, as long as the locket is on your person

he clings onto you like crazy in the mornings. jaehyun’s a heavy sleeper and likes to hug you on his side, so you’re always having trouble trying to pry him off of you in the morning

a bit nsfw: he likes morning lazy sex lol, ngl. jaehyun adores the rawness of your relationship in the morning and the sleepiness in your eyes when you’re gently pushing him away. he knows you don’t mean it but he makes sure you really want it first

loves the sunlight kissing your skin and the slow, gentle movements

so so intimate, he prefers it to the rougher forms of sex, but sometimes he doesn’t have that luxury since they leave for schedules quite often in the wee hours of dawn

for cuddling sense, jaehyun likes it when you’re under his arm and cuddled into his side. classic position but he dies every time inside when you look up at him and there’s this clueless look you have. has the biggest smile on his face after and you have to repeat the stuff you said bc he’s too distracted by how your eyes shine

second hot favourite (more of when you’re making out) is when you’re straddling him. nothing sexual, just like you on top of him when you’re kissing and stuff. he digs it when you’re pulling away for oxygen and he has to lift his body to reach for your lips again

gets flustered from kissing, but doesn’t show it. if he’s found a way to suppress the crazy crimson on his ears (which i doubt) then he will but his words will always contradict his expression

jaehyun can say “are you nervous, y/n?” with a smirk but his ears keep giving him away!!!!

mfer’s hands are shaking too when he trails it over your body. in disbelief you’re his.

sometimes shamelessly moans into the kiss LOL, not too loud but he whines when you pull away, and has to kiss you breathless again

when you kiss him, expect like a long-lasting kiss. doesn’t mind small pecks and stuff but he’ll want to savour your lips a little longer than a mere peck

jaehyun likes your neck too. when you’re hugging his face is always in your neck, placing small little butterfly kisses

you need to look out for him, always. mans always tripping over something at some point. it’s become more frequent now that he has you and my god he’s so unable to keep his eyes off of you that he trips over simple things. he once tripped over nothing

on the daily when he’s not tripping over you, he’s clumsy in a sense where he drops food on the table. he once struggled to tie up his growing hair into a mini ponytail bc it was just too little hair. the hair tie slipped from his fingers and shot itself into your face - those kinds of small small mishaps

it’s endearing but sometimes you can’t help but laugh at him

likes to take you out on impromptu dates. dates that are close by and easy to plan (?) i guess.

not saying jaehyun is a lazy boyfriend but he likes the more candid dates where you decide what to do as you go along. of course if it’s a big day like your anniversary or birthdays then he’d want to plan something out.

other than that, he just either lets you choose the places to go there or you two decide along the way. he doesn’t want to impose options for you and pressure you. if he’s being honest, he wouldn’t know where to go either lol so he just follows wherever you bring him

laughs so much when he’s with you. giggles, deep laugh, whatever you name it. your relationship is very light-hearted and he finds that he’s the one laughing more when you deliver jokes even tho he wants to make you laugh too

i can’t lie… his jokes can be dry sometimes i’m sorry jaehyun 😭 so he backs it up with laughter and has to catch his breath sometimes bc he finds it really funny

you’re not laughing at the joke, rather at his laugh so you might have to tell him that some way or another bc he’ll just keep making bad jokes i’m sorry y’all

he can’t handle the suuuuuper cheesy physically affectionate films or series (with shitty plot) but i feel like if the story’s interesting enough he’ll pay attention. likes bittersweet films too, i feel, gets him thinking

doesn’t mind cliched plots (fake dating / idealist girl meets realist boy / idk any others lol) but would propose something at the end that he thinks will make the movie/series more interesting

jaehyun likes to share his theories with you

unironically wants to learn the la la land tap dance scene with you. he ALWAYS hums city of stars too, no matter what. idk why but it sticks to him, in bed, in breakfast, when he’s doing something random

he did it once on the radio and he received a text from you in break that told him he was humming along to the song

with that said, jaehyun wants to try out the stuff in the rain quite a bit. making out, dancing, lying down, running, he likes that fascination that society has with doing things in the rain

doesn’t like it too much that he’ll get soaked, but as long as you’re with him and willing to do it, he’s all for it

jaehyun would def want kids in the future. wants to dote on them and buy them stuff and whatnot. wants to see them running around the house with laughter while you both struggle to contain the bursts of excitement they have

doesn’t care for the dynamic much. if he’s the one to stay at home to take care of them while you work, he can work with it. if it’s the other way round, he’s okay too

he just worries that if he’s still involved with the entertainment industry, you might have to take a back seat since he’ll be the one earning the money, and he doesn’t want babysitters either.

heart is so so full when he comes back home and you’re just playing with the kids, or singing them to sleep. any sight of you with him is enough to make him melt into a puddle

HAS to hold them even if they’re asleep. wants to always have them close to him while he nudges you to shower or get the food ready.

like jaehyun, he would wanna meet someone in a vinyl shop or bookstore. he knows it’s cliched but the thought of meeting someone when you’re buying something is exciting. anything unexpected for him, he welcomes it

the next few are just random, miscellaneous headcanons: he likes to see you in his clothes, preferably with nothing underneath. just his shirt lol. cheeky man

jaehyun likes it when you shower together (again, nothing sexual, just likes the domesticity)

likes it when you fall asleep on him

will never stop gushing about you to his parents, first time you met them they’re like “he’s told us so much about you!” and he really did

feels comfortable in your presence, no makeup, messy hair, no need for a perfect bod. he’s just jaehyun. jung yuno if you will

adores it when you call him “lover” i mean boyfriend is good, significant other is good, but lover is just chef’s kiss

it is a bit cheesy if you think about it, so it’s not often that you say it. when you do say it in songs when you’re singing it to him, he can’t stop smiling

plays lover, you should’ve come over when he’s on tour bc it’s the closest thing he can get to a replica of how he feels for you

and when jaehyun falls asleep to the song, all he can remember is your honey voice singing it to him. he’ll just have to hold onto it before he can see you again

<3

#nct #nct scenarios #nct x reader #nct imagines #nct smut #nct fluff #nct fic #nct angst #nct headcanons #nct drabbles #nct 127 #nct 127 headcanons #nct 127 drabbles #nct 127 x reader #nct 127 smut #nct 127 angst #nct 127 fluff #nct 127 imagines #nct 127 scenarios #jung jaehyun #jeong jaehyun #jaehyun scenarios #jaehyun smut #jaehyun imagines #jaehyun fluff #jaehyun x reader #nct jaehyun #jeong yunho #nct soft hours #jaehyun blurbs

[sukunastoy]

A little holiday love. (AU Sukunaxreader)

I'll be honest I wanted to post this several days ago but got sidetracked with the holiday...And this was one of three different versions I tried to write. It was based off of a prompt someone sent to me, and for some reason it was very difficult for me to come up with something for it, as I wasn't sure to go NSFW or SFW with it. I more or less just went a totally different route and decided to do some cute/fluff stuff.

I'm still trying my best on these short stories, as I'm used to putting in a lot of detail and dialogue in writing, and its difficult to wrap all of that up quickly lol.

But, even though its "late", I hope you enjoy! (｡･∀･)ﾉﾞ

Characters: SukunaxReader (Also Yuuji, this AU is where Sukuna and Yuuji are twin brothers. Everyone is of appropriate age/aged up.)

Synopsis: Sukuna is awful at showing his emotions and doesn't like the holidays, but he tries his best to show he cares, especially for you, who loves the holidays.

Wordcouunt: 4.5k+

CW/TW: None, its SFW.

A/N: More or less a quick little story, not too much thought into it, I didn't really overanalyze it and there might be some grammar errors.

Disclaimer: I own nothing of JJK.

Reblogs and comments are appreciated! ヾ(•ω•`)o

It was that time of the year again, everyone getting ready for the holidays, celebrating their traditions, coming together with family, decorating, having amazing food, and everyone being festive.

Well...not everyone apparently.

"I hung a wreath once, and I think he burned it." Yuuji laughed sheepishly while sipping on his hot chocolate as the two of you walked down the snowy sidewalk together.

"He burned it?" You almost choked out, the whip cream on your hot chocolate nearly flying out of the cup at your quick outward burst of appalled air.

You had asked Yuuji why he and his brother didn't have any holiday decorations in the apartment, and you quickly realized the reason. Sukuna was apparently not one for the festivities. Which was unfortunate, as you had just bought a few bags of things to hang up around the place, also, a pair of tickets to a special side tour of the Holiday Night Light walk tomorrow evening that was on the trail you and he would run along on nicer days. Now you were concerned Sukuna was going to get fussy about it and not want anything to do with it.

Several months ago~

You were best friends with Yuuji from work, and you had only seen his twin brother on occasion, never having officially met him before, but you really wanted to from how Yuuji talked about him all the time. When your best friend mentioned you becoming a roommate to help pay for their apartment and you would get your own room -finally having an opportunity to move out of your parents house- you couldn't pass it up.

Of course his brother was a bit reserved on the matter, not wanting another person in the apartment because they might "do weird shit" he had put it. But, Yuuji convinced him otherwise that the extra income would be nice, and having someone else around to talk to -besides his grouchy ass- would be relieving too.

For the first few weeks after you moved in, Sukuna didn't even talk to you and he rarely acknowledged you when passing in the hall or entering the same room. More or less tried to avoid you as much as possible, as if your presence alone was aggravating. He seemed a bit of a grump but he never did anything to be deliberately mean, other than ignore you -which hurt your feelings a little to be honest-, and you couldn't understand it.

Yuuji was obviously the bright and cheery of the two, and it wasn't until he went on a small camping trip with some other friends for a few days that you were finally able to talk to Sukuna, or rather, he talk to you. Knowing Sukuna could get an attitude if he got too hungry, you decided to go ahead and make something for the both of you, also maybe trying to impress him at the same time, hopefully.

"Where the hell is that brat at?" Sukuna's deep voice behind you startled you as you were pulling stuff out of the cabinet and you yelped in surprise, dropping almost everything. "Holy shit dude!" you huffed out at him, turning quickly to face him with your nerves shaking.

It was the first time you saw him laugh or even barely crack a smile for once, even if it was at the expense of you being frightened, it was nice to finally see a tad of joy on his face rather than his usual stoic and disinterested expressions.

"He went on a short trip with some other friends, so I figured I'd make us something to eat. I'm surprised he didn't mention this to you." you said while starting to pick up the items you dropped. "I'm not as good a cook as Yuuji but, it's better than nothing." You nervously laughed, never having actually talked to this guy before, and now that its happening, you weren't even sure how to properly act without seeming overly flustered.

It took him a moment but he knelt down to the ground and helped you pick up a few of the remaining items, and you thanked him profusely, now kind of nervous that you both actually exchanged words.

He remained in the kitchen leaning up against the counter nearby with his arms crossed while you cooked,, making casual conversation, as if just out of boredom. His expression was trying to indicate that he wasn't interested in being so close to you, but his words were coming out differently. He was curiously asking things about you, which made you unintentionally blush and you tried to keep your face hidden behind the small cloud of steam coming from what you were making. Sukuna, the grouch, curious about your likes and interests?

You assumed he didn't want to appear interested while his brother was around, he seemed like that type of guy. He wasn't such a grumpy ass after all, in fact he was quite charming in a devilish way. The way he acted pointed towards him being too much of a hard ass to let someone else see him have a 'crush', cause that would be embarrassing for him.

It made you happy and giddy inside as he seemed to really enjoy what you made, and he practically ate everything you couldn't eat. A way to mans heart was through his stomach, or something like that, right? At least you could put your worries aside that he might have absolutely hated you for moving in, as part of the reason you jumped to the opportunity was to get to know him.

For the rest of the night you both remained in the living room, watching whatever movie was on TV and the two of you were able to share some laughs at certain scenes, finding humor in the same things. You ended up falling asleep on one of the couches, and Sukuna very carefully put his blanket over you so you wouldn't get too cold through the night, not wanting to wake you up as he admired your soft and warm expression as you peacefully slept.

However this was way out of his comfort zone, and it didn't take long for him to retreat to his own room, leaving you out on the couch for the night. He'd be damned if you caught him in the act of being even remotely concerned about you. When you woke up the next morning to the smell of food, you were surprised you had fallen asleep, and to wake up with a blanket over you, Sukuna's blanket at that. The one only he would use while out in the living room.

You dawdled into the kitchen, pretending to just be getting something to drink to get the parched feeling from your throat but you couldn't help spying on Sukuna from behind as he was cooking something, and it smelled great. Not wanting to assume any of it was for you, you started to leave the kitchen but his voice stopped you abruptly.

"You better like this, shouldn't be too much longer." he said nonchalantly, slightly glancing back as you were looking over to him and unintentionally locked eyes for a moment. He grumbled quietly while quickly looking away and you couldn't help but laugh under your breath at his obvious frustration. Oh no, mister grumpy wasn't sure what to do about a little crush.

The meal was really good, and it was surprising cause you never saw him cook, typically it was you or Yuuji in the kitchen so you always assumed that he wasn't any good at it. You tried to thank him and praise the meal but he brushed it off, acting like it wasn't anything special. Though to be honest he had gotten up way earlier, trying to make this meal a few times before finally getting it to not burn or be too salty. The hours of stressful trial and error he would never mention to you.

Now more desperate to crack into that shell of his, already getting a little idea of how he portrayed interest, you invited him out for a run after breakfast, which he pretended to not really want to do, but said he'll go, just so no one kidnaps you. He was so awful at this, and you thought it was adorable, accepting it as his version of trying to flirt or be caring but probably never having any experience or real interest in anyone prior so it just came out so bad.

It was a nice run, in fact he had to keep slowing down and waiting for you and you were the one who ran at least every other day. Every so often you'd both slow to a fast walk, and talk about anything you could think of. Occasionally you'd be able to get a chuckle out of him or even see him crack a small smile and it made your stomach flutter with excitement. You'd keep your full gaze away from his direction, not wanting to overwhelm him too much at first. He didn't seem shy, but more frustrated. Like he couldn't believe that he had a fondness of you, but ignoring it was driving him mad.

As much as you loved hanging out with Yuuji, you were seriously happy he was gone for several days, as spending this time alone with Sukuna was really gratifying.

The next day, Sukuna was the one to invite you out for a run, which you gladly accepted. The two of you were starting to go into deeper conversations beyond just casual small talk, and you realized he actually knew quite a bit about a lot of different topics. Once you'd get him on a subject he enjoyed, he could go on about it for a while, and you loved seeing him enamored about something while sharing the information with you.

A couple days had passed, and even though it just started, running in the morning after breakfast and before work was already becoming a routine that you hoped would continue even after Yuuji returned...

"(Y/N), lets go down this trail." The back of Sukuna's hand gently nudged your arm as the two of you were taking a breather. Smiling and looking past him down the path, it was one you hadn't been on before, and you were up for the adventure. "Sure, something a little different is always fun." You laughed while starting to jog past him. He chuckled in response and easily caught up with you, matching your pace to stay along side of you.

It was a more secluded trail, and it had more trees around so the shade they provided helped keep it a tad cooler while running. Stopping off at a small ledge towards the end of the trail, you both took a moment to break, leaning against the rock wall that acted as a barrier for the small drop on the other side.

After several moments of you both relaxing in silence, you let out a breath and stretched your arms up over your head, getting ready to start the run again towards home. "Ready?" you smiled up to him but the corners of your mouth slightly dropped as you saw him looking off into the distance, jaw clenched and his brows slightly pinching at the top of his nose. "Sukuna..? Are you alright? Feeling okay?"

As you turned more towards him to give your attention to whatever might be wrong, one of his hands came up to your cheek and and slid down under your chin, the pad of his thumb resting on your bottom lip. You felt your chest tighten as you swallowed hard, your eyes widened at his actions. Before you could even part your lips to say something, his words quickly silenced you and you held your tongue back in worry. "What are you doing to me?" His voice was almost a growl and you barely shook your head, not understanding what he was talking about. "Sukuna...you're concerning me..."

"Well maybe now you can understand how I've felt ever since you moved in."

As his words left his mouth, he tilted your chin upwards and leaned his face down to yours, letting his lips land on yours roughly but with gentleness all at the same time. A muffled moan of surprise pushed into his mouth as you were caught off guard, but so quick to melt into him from the sudden action that you had only dreamed of countless times.

Your fingers tangled their way into his shirt as one of his arms found its way around your waist, pulling you closer to be more against him in a way he had strangely yearned for throughout the past few weeks.

The two of you ended up walking back home instead of running, both of you remaining quiet and thinking about what happened along that secluded trail. You wanted him to do it again, and to keep doing it, and to see how far it could go. You hesitantly hooked your pinky finger around his while not looking at him and you could feel his hand twitch at your touch, but lazily curled up his finger to gently hold onto yours in return.

It felt a bit awkward as it was clear this wasn't something he normally did. He was always disinterested and pretty well reserved, not really caring about anyone else, so you couldn't be surprised that he was rough around the edges like this. Yuuji always had plenty of cheerfulness and joy for the both of them.

Of course the situation got really awkward when Yuuji came home later that evening and walked in on you guys making out in the living room, rather intensely, wanting to have picked up where you left off on the trail.

"Finally!" he groaned while tossing his arms up in the air standing in the walkway, startling both you and Sukuna. "Sukuna hasn't shut up about you since you moved in!" Yuuji laughed while setting his stuff down. "I will slit your throat." Sukuna growled at him in warning only making Yuuji laugh more. You of course were dumbfounded but, apparently Sukuna had convinced Yuuji to go on that trip so he could talk to you, alone for once.

He obviously didn't want to be one of those guys that came off as actually interested and it kind of made a lot of sense now as to why he had avoided you so much, cause Yuuji was always around.

However through the few months that you two were "dating" more or less, he still always acted nonchalant about it, never publicly showing affection. When it was the two of you alone at the apartment you were his only interest and he would do anything for you. However when Yuuji was home, or some other friends came over, it was almost like Sukuna wasn't in a relationship with you anymore, as he would avoid anything that could show the two of you were intimately involved with one another. You tried to understand it, and you had talked to Yuuji about it, who tried to reassure you that Sukuna is just horrible at expressing any emotion, especially if anyone else could be there to witness it. He just wasn't that type of guy.

There were times you got afraid that he wasn't actually wanting to be with you, but the way he would hold you so close and safe to him at night would push any and all bad thoughts away. The way he would make you feel while beneath him was incredible and he would make sure to give you his all so you could experience the most intense pleasure possible. He could say the most beautiful and loving things to you, but has never said that he loved you. Which, it had only been a few months, you couldn't be upset at that. Most said it could take up to at least 6 months, some maybe a year or longer...

Unfortunately, you had already felt so intensely for him, but you held your tongue, daring not to say it first. That was something that could definitely scare a guy off, right?

Present~

Frowning deeply down to your cup, Yuuji nudged his arm against yours comfortingly. "Don't get sad, you know how he is."  He said cheerfully with that big goofy smile of his, forcing a small smile in return from you.

"Now I'm worried he's going to hate the stuff I just bought..." "No, he won't!" Yuuji replied confidently. "You bought some really cool stuff, I'd kind of like to see some decorations put up anyway, he's too boring sometimes." You smiled to him hopefully while sipping on your drink. "Thanks again for coming out with me and helping to pick stuff out. Especially this." You laughed while gesturing to the bag that had a pair of reindeer antlers in it that could be worn like a hat. Yuuji laughed about it, remembering how you and him cracked up about it in the store, imagining what Sukuna would look like in it. "I bet he will love it."

. . .

"I hate it..." Sukuna grumbled as you put the little antler headband on him back at home, setting your bags of decorations next to him on the bed. "But you look so adorable." You giggled innocently, adjusting them to stand perky. He rolled his eyes and groaned, grabbing your hand gently to stop you from messing with them and took them off with his other hand. "Look I'm just not into all this festive crap...To me it's pointless, and just tacky looking." You frowned almost pathetically and he pulled you down onto his lap while he sat lazily on his bed, or rather your shared bed, cause lets be honest, you spent almost every night together in his room by now. "Don't look at me like that. I hate that." "But I love the holidays!" You pressed, straddling your legs over his and resting your arms on both of his shoulders. "I really want to decorate with you, and, plus I wanted to go to the Holiday Night Light walk on our trail tomorrow night..." "Absolutely not." "Pleaaase?" You pouted while making a pitiful face, lips frowning and looking doe eyed, making him groan and roll his eyes. "Please don't make me beg..." you pressed more intently, making sure to look as dismal as possible.

"Oh come on, don't beg for something like that...that's ridiculous." He grumbled in irritation at your whining, something that just always made him uncomfortable as he was a very serious and straightforward kind of guy, or at least always tried to be.

"Kunaaaaa!" you pleaded more loudly and he pushed a hand over your mouth, trying to silence you. "I will burn all of it I swear." he threatened while you laughed around his hand, pulling down on his wrist to let your complaints out. "Oh come on...don't be such a grouch...just try to have fun with it. Just decorate with me for like ten minutes, that's all I ask, I'm begging you!"

His glaring eyes narrowed more before he let out a snort and tossed you off of his lap -you landed safely onto the blankets-, standing up to his feet with a deep sigh of aggravation. "Fine. Only if you'll please stop that god awful whining..."

Parading around the apartment with Yuuji at your little victory, you both eagerly hung up decorations, trying not to pressure Sukuna into doing much other than lifting you up so you could reach higher places to hang some garland or flashing lights above the window frames.

He'd keep you sitting atop of his shoulders while he held onto your thighs, walking to the next location you wanted to hang some things up and you kept thanking him with honesty but he would just grumble in return, keeping his disinterest very noticeable.

Only allowing the ten minutes like you asked, Sukuna left the rest to you and Yuuji while he went to go sulk in the living room, lazily sitting on the couch to watch TV, while you and his cheerier brother continued to vandalize the apartment in festive galore.

Being unamused as usual, Sukuna paid little attention to the red and green decorations that adorned every possible feature the apartment could offer as you tried to point all of it out to him, proud of your work. But when your eyes weren't looking at his, he would watch where you pointed, quietly taking in every little detail and care that you put into how you arranged the decorations, and he listened to your joyous tone as you described what something was for, or why you liked it so much, etc.

A small smile would tug at his lips on occasion, enjoying how something so trivial -to him anyway- could bring you such happiness, but it would quickly fade if either you or Yuuji looked in his direction.

You had tried to keep up your cheerful spirit into the night, able to be more understood by Yuuji as you were both enamored by the holiday, but you felt guilty as Sukuna seemed to be more annoyed than usual. Thinking he would at some point come around and at least try to have a little fun, it only made you feel bummed out and apologetic as he still seemed to have no interest.

He did say he would go to the Holiday Night Light walk with you, and that was something that made you really happy, but you were still worried about annoying him too much with all of this. The majority of the next day, you did your best to not seem overexcited about the upcoming night, and you tried not to mention anything about it to avoid already boring him out before even going.

Walking down the decorated trail later into the night, surrounded by other people who enjoyed the extensive arrangement of lights, you snuggled against Sukuna's side, unable to hide how cold you were getting. He sighed and wrapped an arm around you, rubbing your arm to give you some warmth and you smiled happily, not normally getting any physical contact from your boyfriend while others were around.

Coming up on that little secluded path along the trail, where he first kissed you, there was a little ticket booth set up there and someone attending it. Nudging him towards it, he looked at you curiously as you pulled out a couple of tickets and laughed shyly.  "They made that little path more of an exclusive event, and sold tickets for it, and I got a couple so we could go down it together...Since that's where we first kissed."  You were surprised when a small chuckle left his lips, and he took the tickets from you gently and handed them to the person attending the small booth who examined them quickly. "All set to go, enjoy the walk, there's also a small place set up half way to get some warm drinks as well."

You thanked them happily and Sukuna hooked his arm around yours, starting to walk with you down the trail and you looked up at him bashfully. As usual, it was very strange to see him show any attention towards you when others could be around, so you greatly appreciated his effort... It was the little moments like this that helped remind you he was just terrible at affection and emotions. It was adorable a lot of the times, but at the same time kind of hurt your feelings, you just wanted him to try at least on occasion.

Both of you stopped at the small booth set up half way down the secluded trail to get something warm to drink. Of course Sukuna asked for just a plain black coffee and you opted for the hot chocolate with whip cream on top. There weren't as many people on this part of the trail, but almost all of them were couples, which was to be expected as it seemed more of a romantic thing. The lights were more subtle, making the walk more gentle and relaxed, and neither of you said anything, just casually walking, enjoying the warm drinks.

Getting to the end of the trail where you'd have to turn around and head back, leaning against that little stone wall that was a barrier for the drop on the other side, you looked up to Sukuna hopefully, seeing no one was around or in sight. He leaned against the wall next to you, setting his cup down on the ledge while looking up at the soft decorated lights above and let out a small sigh. Turning his gaze towards you, admiring how pretty your face was in the glow of the lights, he clicked his tongue then reached into his pocket as you watched curiously.

"You know...you spoiled what I was going to do." He said with a slight grumble, pulling out a pair of tickets and your eyes widened as he presented them to you. They were tickets for coming down here on this secluded walk...

"I bought these some time ago cause I knew you like this kind of stuff, and I was going to surprise you." He chuckled lightly and you pouted deeply, realizing you missed an opportunity for him to gift something like this to you...no wonder he was so grumpy about it before.

"But no big deal...here we are anyway." Gently reaching over and holding onto your chin with his index finger and thumb, he tilted your head up slightly to look up, and you noticed a mistletoe hanging up above from a small branch. "I came out here before they set all this crap up and hung that up...I'm lucky they didn't take it down." He spoke quietly and you couldn't help but let tears form in the corners of your eyes.

"I'm not one for all of this holiday stuff...or all those cute and romantic things couples do in the presence of others...But I'm trying, because it matters to you, so it matters to me, and I want to do whatever I can to make you happy, (Y/N.)"

Looking back down at him you sniffled and held his hand with yours against your cheek as you nuzzled into it. "Thank you, Sukuna..."  He smiled gently and leaned towards you while gently pulling your face to him as well, capturing your lips tenderly in a kiss. Your arms went around him, holding him close while returning his kiss and he grinned against your lips.

"I've wanted to say it for a while now, just wasn't sure when the best time would be...but, I love you, (Y/N), so much...Even if I don't really show it, just know and trust that I do."

He softly wiped some of your tears away with the back of his fingers as his words made you cry, not even expecting him to say anything remotely like this anytime soon. You clung to him quickly and tightly, surprising him for a moment before he returned your embrace, keeping you close to him.

"I love you too, Sukuna...thank you, so much..."

Reblogs and comments appreciated!

#jjk sukuna #sukuna #sukuna x reader insert #jjk holiday #sukuna fanfic #sukuna love #holiday fanfic #sukuna fluff #sukuna cute fanfic

[twostepstyless]

Those Christmas Lights, Keep Shining On

A.N: Hello my beauties, this is coming a lot later than I had planned but I was having a quiet Christmas Day with my family. I hope you all had a lovely Christmas, I know this time of year can be difficult for a lot of people, myself included in some capacity. So even if you didn't have a great day I hope this Harry fic brings you at least a little joy.

As always, reblogs, likes and any feedback is always appreciated.

Warnings: None, I don't think this time, if anyone finds anything I should include as a warning please let me know

Contains: Peak Boyfriend Harry at Christmas, twinkly lights, fluff and soup stress.

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It was approaching 1:30 A.M on Christmas Eve, although you suppose you could call it Christmas Day at this point, and you haven’t slept a wink. You had been tossing and turning for the better portion of an hour while your boyfriend of three and a bit years, slept soundly next to you. Christmas always had you living on your nerves, there was always so much to organise, family to see, gifts to wrap, food to prepare, travelling here there and everywhere and on top of that you were supposed to be jolly about it all and spread Christmas cheer on top of that, no, not possible. Harry and you had arrived at his mum’s house in Holmes Chapel on the evening of the 23rd of December, and in the grand scheme of things, you really didn’t have that much to think about doing after arriving, but you just couldn’t seem to settle. You had thrown yourself into helping out as much as humanely possible so Anne could enjoy some uninterrupted time with her son, much to her chastising, saying that it should be you and Harry relaxing after the mad few months the pair of you had between touring and about a hundred other work commitments between the two of you.

So, throw yourself into it you had indeed, this year you were taking care of the soup course of the Christmas Day dinner. You had been up since 5 A.M on the morning of the 24th preparing the soup stock before wriggling into your boots and winter coat to go to Tesco for your vegetables when the shop opened at around 7. Leaving the stock bubbling away on the hob under Harrys watchful eye after he had padded downstairs at quarter past six grumbling in his sleepy, slow voice how he, “missed yeh in bed, go’ cold waiting for you to come back,” as his nose nudged against your cheek before pressing a chaste kiss where your skin tingled under his touch.

After, what felt like, an episode of Supermarket Sweep and two kilos of carrots later you were back home chopping like a mad woman while Harry worked around you making your morning coffee before he sat down next to you and picked up a vegetable peeler to get stuck in to help you. It was your Mum’s recipe you were using, which you were very protective over. She had taught you how to make it just before you moved away to university because it was always your comfort meal growing up and it had become your go to over the years but making it for a gaggle of people on Christmas day was a different ball game.

Harry was probably sick of the taste of it at this stage. Since arriving back in London a few short weeks ago you had made multiple practice batches while Harry swore down with every new batch forced down him that it was even better than the last.

“This has been the best one yet, lovie,” while he slurped the contents off his spoon.

“Okay, now this one, darling, you have absolutely nailed,” dipping the edge of his slice of bread into the steaming liquid.

“Did you do something different with the onion this time because I swear its really doing it for me this time, angel.” You maintained he was only trying to humour you so you wouldn’t stress yourself out over it and he’s probably so sick of eating the soup by this point the number of bowls of it you had force fed down his throat.

Tossing and turning over soup was a new one. What if no one else liked it, or you had missed an ingredient, over seasoned, burnt it to the bottom of the pan when heating it up.

What if no one liked their gifts, what if Harry didn’t like his gifts. You knew you were being ridiculous. Letting out a hard sigh, you swung your legs out the side of your shared bed, slipping into your pyjama trousers because running into Gemma or Anne in the middle of the night in your underwear was very, very far down on your Christmas to do list. Checking over your shoulder to check you hadn’t woken Harry, you saw him splayed out on his tummy, one hand resting on top of your pillow where it landed after he fell asleep caressing your hair and cheek. His eyes still close with his perfect lashes fanned over the tops of his cheeks and short puffs of air exhaling softly. He was beautiful when he slept. Christmas always made you feel sentimental, and you caught yourself every year, not caring about any of the presents under the tree, you were extremely grateful family and friends had thought of you, of course, but you didn’t need anything apart from Harry. He had been and continues to be your greatest gift. You were the centre of his universe and he yours; everything each of you had done in your lives, career, anything considered each other in your choices and put each other first, above everything. You orbited around each other perfectly.

Sparing one last glance at him and bending down to press a whisper of a kiss to the back of his neck as not to wake him, you shuffled downstairs to try and calm yourself down into a state where at least a few hours of sleep would be possible. Padding into the kitchen, you leaned over the large pot of soup still on the stovetop and inhaled deeply. It smelt exactly like your Mum’s so surely you couldn’t have made that much of a mess of it. You snapped a quick picture of it and text it to her asking if she thought the colour was right, she wouldn’t see it for a few hours, but you just needed a bit of comfort from the expert. You went to go grab your initial mug from the mug tree to see it wasn’t hanging there like everyone else’s. Anne had got you it for the very first Christmas you spent here, wanting you to feel included as everyone else in the family had one. That mug and gesture meant everything to you, you knew you were in it for the long haul with Harry back then and to see his Mum support that meant the world. You checked the dish rack and dishwasher for the aforementioned mug to no avail. Standing straight up you cast your eyes round the darkened kitchen to see it sat next to the kettle. The little note scribbled on the back of an envelope next to it exposed the culprit behind the missing mug.

“For when you can’t sleep tonight… get back to bed angel, Santa’s coming in the morning!! Your love, H.” A smile tugged at your lips as you caught sight of the bag of sleepy tea you travelled everywhere with, already in the bottom of the mug and the kettle just filled enough to fill your mug to brew your tea. Flicking the switch of the kettle you sighed happily, he really was the gift that kept on giving. Turning off the kettle just before it boiled so it didn’t whistle and wake the whole house, you grabbed the mug in both your hands and wandered through to the living room, the next stop on your late-night excursion round the house. You stood and watched the soft, warm white, twinkling lights illuminate the room catching the foil designs of the wrapping paper under the tree and the glitter of the decorations.

Taking a sip of your tea and closing your eyes as you felt the liquid heat your body and begin to start calming you down, you heard him.

“There’s somethin’ about Christmas lights, eh?” that slow, sleepy voice let out, him stepping up next to you admiring the tree.

“Mhmm, pretty innit?” you replied not looking at him yet, still swept up in the magic of the twinkling lights.

“Ah, they’re alright, I think I know of something even prettier though,” he murmured softly, your eyes finally glancing at him seeing him looking at you exactly like you had been looking at the tree. In complete wonder and adoration.

“You don’t half get proper soppy at Christmas time, d’you?” you snorted out a laugh shaking your head at him.

“All year round for you, m’love,” he grinned back with his nails scratching slowly at your lower back through your t-shirt. “Now, come wi’ me,” he said holding up your slippers and winter coat in his other hand. You looked at him properly this time, seeing he had slipped on a hoodie over his usually naked torso, paired with the tartan pyjama trousers he pulled out at Christmas time. Glancing down at his feet you saw his reebok classics peeking out, he looked like he had got dressed in the dark. Oh, if Harry Lambert and his fans could see him now, you thought to yourself. Giving him a puzzled look but shrugging into your coat anyway, he grabbed your hand when your feet were donned with the fluffy bunny slippers, pulling you out the house and locking up behind you.

“Get in the car Y/N/N, promise I’m not kidnapping you on Christmas, it’ll be fun honest,” he said opening the passenger door to his car we had driven up from London in few days prior. You slid in still clutching onto your mug of tea that was now rapidly cooling down in the late-night chill. Harry tucked your hair behind your ear and pressed a kiss to your lips that were pouted in a silent annoyance at his secrecy of where he was taking you at this hour.

“C’mon, H, where you taking me?” you said gulping down the remainder of your tea and balancing the mug in the cup holder as Harry slipped in the driver’s seat and buckling up.

“Know a drive always tires you out, thought we could go look at some Christmas lights til you relax a bit,” Harry looked over at you with a soft smile as he reversed out of his Mum’s driveway. “Plus, you need to go to sleep at one point my darlin’, I’ve got it on good authority that Santa’s pulled it out the bag with your gifts this year and y’know he doesn’t visit til your asleep,” Harry smirked at you as he drove round a few residential streets slowing down when passing the houses that had kept their lights burning throughout the night.

You guys drove in silence for about 10 minutes with Harry’s left hand tracing light circles in your thigh while his right gripped the wheel, until you got to a street where multiple houses were all still lit up. Harry pulled over and turned off the engine as your eyes couldn’t focus on anything in particular, just overwhelmed by the colours and sparkling lights. “It’s mad, isn’t it?” you whispered into the darkness of the car with the quiet hum of Harry’s Christmas playlist in the background.

“What’s that baby?” Harry asked lowly back, not being able to tear his eyes away from one house that had its tree sat in the large bay window, the warm white lights clearly set to the twinkle function.

“Just that, in every one of these houses, there are people...” you trailed off looking towards another house that had a fancy projector cast on the outside of the building with images of cascading snowflakes.

“Hm, that’s what houses tend to have in them, my love,” Harry said as a bewildered smile tugged at his lips as he pondered over your strange statement.

“Not how I meant it H,” you let out a little giggle glancing over at him, “I don’t know how to explain it, just that, on this street, there are what? At least 30 houses? All with likely more than one person in them, and they’re all just living their lives, nothing to do with us and us nothing to do with them and we’re all just connected together with… Christmas lights.” You looked out the window of Harry’s side of the car at another house with icicle styled lights following the shape of their roof. “I suppose I mean, that we don’t know what those people are experiencing in their houses, maybe it’s their first Christmas without a loved one, or their first with a new baby, maybe someone forgot to buy a present for an in-law or there’s people who don’t celebrate Christmas at all but just decorate for the joy of it, I don’t know, do you know what I mean or do I sound like I’ve lost the plot or somethin’” you let out an airy laugh looking over at your beloved.

“Mmm, yeah I get that, maybe there’s someone in that house with the blow-up Santa in the front garden, who’s losing sleep over a soup they’ve practiced tha’ many times I think it’s physically impossible for them to fuck it up at this point… oh wait, that’s just you,” he teased you pinching your side.

“Heeey,” you whined out, lightly smacking his hand off your side only for him to grab your hand and kiss the back of it, “don’ make fun of me, I jus’ want it to be perfect. I’m glad y’understand me about what I mean by people being in their houses though.” you hummed out lacing your fingers with his. His light teasing about you losing sleep over soup actually helped you relax a bit, in the grand scheme of things, if it did somehow go wrong, which he was also right about your relentless practicing making that likelihood almost impossible, it actually does not matter, Christmas won’t be ruined by a dodgy bowl of soup.

“Life can be so challenging a lot of the time,” Harry contemplated playing with your fingers, “like you say, we don’t know what people are going through and the run up to this time of year can be so stressful, there’s somethin’ sort of beautiful about those few hours when everyone goes to bed on Christmas Eve. It’s quiet, you can’t do any more, if you’ve forgotten a gift tha’s just too bad, and the lights just seem to make all those troubles melt away so we can just live in the moment when the sun comes up,” he smiles while staring at the front windscreen, a few light flakes of snow beginning to settle on the glass.

You tugged at his hand that was still laced with yours and his glittering green eyes met yours and you swore they were better than any Christmas light you had seen before.

“I’m glad we’re here, together,” you said, your free hand coming up to cup his cheek, the pad of your thumb caressing gently under his eye.

Harry’s eyes were blown out with complete adoration for you as he turned his head to kiss the palm of your hand that had been cupping his cheek. “Y/N, you’re my greatest present, not just on Christmas, but everyday y’know.” He leant forward pressing his forehead against yours.

“I love you, sweets, more than anything,” you whispered ducking your head to kiss the corner of his mouth, “I think I could be ready to sleep now though,” you said letting a puff of air exhale through your nose in a light laugh as you felt a yawn escape up through your throat and out your mouth.

“Let’s get you to bed, beautiful,” Harry softly spoke, as he turned the key in the ignition to drive you back to Anne’s. You felt your eyes droop heavier on the short route home and could barely remember clambering out the car and padding back up the stairs as quietly as you could as not to wake everyone. Harry’s hand had barely left yours as he led you to your bed and slipped you under the thick duvet with the brushed cotton bedding set Anne had put on to keep you both warm enough.

Harry held onto you until he was fully sure you were consumed under a thick blanket of sleep. He replaced his body with a pillow for a second so you wouldn’t wake when you felt an absence. Sitting up on his side of the bed he reached across sliding open the drawer of the bedside table, digging past his iPad and leather-bound journal he had stored in there for the time being knowing Y/N wouldn’t go in that drawer if that’s what was on top. His hand reached the back of the drawer and felt around until he got what he was after. He pulled out the little velvet box, opening it up to reveal the glittering ring he had been designing with you in mind for the last few months.

Harry would do anything for you, he’d let you leave your Christmas lights up year-round if that’s what made you happiest, so that’s what he planned to do. When everyone else left for a Christmas Day walk, Harry would ask you to be his forever, under the twinkling lights you loved so much. A question he’s wanted to ask you since your very first Christmas together. Sliding the velvet box back into its hiding place at the back of the drawer, he looked over to your angelic face, totally relaxed under the guise of sleep. Slipping back into your arms so the pair of you would wake up wrapped in each other, totally consumed by the other. Yeah, tomorrow was going to be perfect Harry thought, as he pressed a lingering kiss to your hairline, watching your mouth quirk into a smile in your sleep at the sensation. Absolutely perfect.

Those Christmas lights keep shining on

#harry styles #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles x y/n #harry styles x reader #harry styles x you #boyfriendrry #harry styles fluff #harry styles fic #harry styles imagine #love on tour #fanfic

[littlemisslipbalm]

“Harry’s stylist, right?”

Summary: Harry and his personal stylist are great collaborators, on screen and off. She helps his visions come to life and in turn they’ve become close friends. As she helps him to bring his fashion dreams come to life during the Fine Line era, will some other dreams come to life as well?

or

Harry and his stylist go from colleagues to friends to lovers because they’ve been in love with each other from the jump

this fit is very important to this part lmaooo - I literally have no idea what to call this lol, anyway I've been sitting on this for forever and I wanted to get something out for yall and i love this story there will be a part 2 when i get to a writing mood. I love this story bc its my literal dream - anyway!! pls enjoy and reblog and lmk what you think :)

Word Count: 14k | Warnings: swearing, drinking, tame for now, should be smut eventually - aka slow burn (what else would you expect from me at this point i guess)

part 2

-

“Hey, H, I just had a question about one of the SNL outfits? Do you have a sec?”

Harry looked up from his phone and raised his brows at his stylist, Y/N.

Y/N had worked with Harry previously. In photoshoots for Another Man magazine and his most recent Gucci campaign. As well as some other random times, such as one-off award show looks and specific appearances. However, this past summer Harry had hired Y/N to work fulltime for him, exclusively. He had told her that he was planning on releasing his second album in the winter and he wanted someone there to help him plan his clothes for music videos, award season, interview appearances, as well as tour outfits.

Y/N stood just inside the doorway of the room, leaning her back against the wall, looking expectantly at him. Her eyes were wide and her lips were pursed. She was dressed simply in a white satin skirt and a matching cropped button-up, they both had cream flowers embroidered on, paired with horsebit slim Gucci mules. Her style was eclectic, but she had definitely noticed an increase of Gucci in her wardrobe since starting her employment with Harry.

Y/N’s passion in life was fashion and clothes and she constantly worried that one of Harry’s outfits wouldn’t deliver as much as she wanted it to. He was quick to tell her not to worry so much though, as long as they both were happy with it, how could anyone else not love it. Plus, he’d always add, it didn’t really matter what anyone else thought. But as more and more events began to crop up, Y/N’s worry over her work grew. She had only been the head stylist for Harry on projects that were still underwraps - except for Lights Up which had been released a couple weeks ago now.

The first project she ever worked on with Harry as his full-time personal stylist was the Lights Up music video. She had never worked so closely with one person for so long on just one project. Harry was insistent in vision and came in the first day filled with ideas, what he imagined for the video's concept and how he wanted to incorporate clothes. She had been happy to make his dreams become reality.

The two of them spent hours at his house for weeks, pouring over every detail of every outfit he planned to wear. They both wanted it to be perfect. And eventually, it all came together, exactly how they had planned. All of the garments for the video took up two entire garment racks. Y/N had made Harry pose in every single outfit for polaroids that she dated and then put into a lookbook she started for him. She had told him she planned to document every outfit she styled for him and Harry had been so excited. The outfits he wore in the video were received with praise when it was finally released, and Harry and Y/N were overjoyed. There was already a party for its release, but they both were especially happy that night. Throughout the evening, Harry and Y/N would gravitate to one another and fall into side conversations about the outfits and what people had been saying. Even if Harry said it didn’t matter, he and Y/N both knew, at the end of the day, they loved when people were happy with their work.  

“Sure,” he bounced to his feet, but Y/N made a hand motion telling him that he could stay seated. He settled back down as she crossed over and sat beside him on his couch.

She was at his house in London today planning his next few appearances that were promotion for the upcoming album, Saturday Night Live was next. Harry had been taking a break from their work until she had come in.

It wasn’t unusual for Y/N to be at his house, they had been working together for months now. First, it had been for his outfits in his music videos that were filmed in late summer and early fall, like Lights up, but also a few other ones. Now, it was clothing for promo appearances, interviews, and listening parties. Next, it would be tour outfits, which she had already started planning, but officially, they hadn’t started discussions yet. Harry had helped her to get a flat closer to his house in London just for her to be able to head over and help with the planning or fitting of his outfits more easily. She also was constantly traveling with him to his appearances, making sure outfits were perfect right before whatever show it was or making last minute adjustments in case either of them decided something wasn’t right.

While Harry was a big guy, his waist was far trimmer than a usual man built to his size, this meant she had to take in a lot of his trousers at the waist. As well, with his shirts and coats, she’d have to take them in or out depending on how Harry wanted the fit to be - either perfectly tight or perfectly oversized. He was particular, but she appreciated his drive for fashion and how he cared for his appearance. Before performances, she often had to take things in or out based on any body fluctuation that had occurred since the initial fitting.

She was looking at her sketchpad that held all of her notes on his clothes - which was different from the lookbook of polaroids - including patches of the actual colors and little Harry figures dressed in what he was going to wear. Right now, she had the pad opened to a page titled “SNL Opener - November 16, 2019”.

“So I was thinking with your opening monologue outfit, it might look better to have a different colored blazer? A matching yellow would be great, but if you did more of a toned down - maybe light tan or beige - blazer with gold embellishments, you’d elevate it to look sophisticated and stylish, rather than just stylish. It’d be exactly like the runway look - which I know you sometimes don’t like, but I think it’s what looks best.”

She ran her finger between two swatches of what she thought would be the better blazer color and the one Harry had originally wanted. He wet his lips and gazed at the page as he thought about what she said. Normally, she liked monochrome on him, but she thought the deep blue underneath a completely yellow suit might wash him out on the stage.

“Yeah,” he pointed to the top beige swatch, “I think I do like this better.” He paused and turned his head to Y/N, looking in her eyes before asking, “Is that all?”

“Er...no,” Y/N ran a hand over her unstyled hair, slightly fluffed by her constant musing of it. She often fiddled with it while she worked, better than biting nails she always said when confronted about her tick. After a sigh Y/N continued, “I was just on the phone with Jane from Gucci and she said that for Look 57 they could only send your technical size, for some reason they can’t custom make it. Meaning, I’ll have to tailor the whole thing to you when it arrives. Is that alright? Or do you want to choose something else?”

She flipped to a page that said “SNL WS.” Harry followed her hands and nodded realizing she was talking about the Gucci suit he wanted to wear for Watermelon Sugar. It was a watermelon’s inside red. When he had found out the suit came in that color, he had danced around the dining table for what Y/N had felt like was an hour, humming the tune of Watermelon Sugar excitedly. Finally, she had coaxed him to sit back down and get back to their other work, which was still picking out clothes.

“No, that’s fine,” Harry shook his head and used his thumb to scratch under his lips absentmindedly, “It really needs to be that color.”

She nodded, she knew what his answer was going to be, but she also knew he still liked to make the final decision.

“Alright, we’ll just have to meet for longer when everything arrives, to tailor that one. Then the rest of them should just be making sure the fit is perfect.”

She rose up from her seat and patted Harry’s shoulder, leaving him to his thoughts, as she went back to finish up the calls with Jane and the designers.

He caught her hand in his before she completely walked away, “Thank you, Y/N.” He was so grateful he had hired someone who was as driven as he was and understood his fashion sense and wanted to help enhance what he was thinking, rather than someone trying to control him or just going along with whatever he said. Neither would be productive or helpful, thankfully Y/N loved her job and cared to do things right.

She grinned before exiting, “H, you’re going to be this century’s style icon if it’s the last thing I do.” He laughed as she walked out of the room, leaning back on the couch to continue his lurking on Instagram.

-

One week later

“I’m here, H! I come bearing Gucci and more!” Y/N said as she shuffled through Harry’s front door, she held a deconstructed rack and a garment bag filled with heavy suits and things. Inside were Harry’s four most important outfits for SNL, some other garments for SNL, and some clothes they had talked about for his upcoming listening sessions later in the month. Y/N needed to check the fit on all of them and begin tailoring the Watermelon Sugar suit. The key Harry had given to Y/N, previously, had let her in, but she assumed he was home. He said he’d be.

When Y/N rounded the corner she found another empty room. Confused, she set down her large items and went to search for Harry. Y/N literally needed him to be here for this part. It was the only real time she actually needed to see him in person - but that was beside the point.

“H?”

She wandered through the different rooms of his home. Normally, Y/N didn’t go into the other rooms, she was always mainly in his lounge area, the dining room, and a little casual office room he had - sometimes the kitchen for water, his bedroom once. Still not finding him, she decided to venture to the furthest door, Harry’s bedroom, she remembered.

Harry groaned at the sound of a knock on his door, he rolled over in his bed. After a few moments of hearing nothing else than his groan, Y/N felt like she had to go in and check on him.

“H, it’s 12:30 and we agreed we’d meet at noon. Are you feeling alright?”

Y/N moved into the room and found a shirtless Harry surrounded by rumpled sheets, clutching at a pillow. He groaned into his pillow again in response. Her legs bent at the edge of the bed and she reached out to smooth some of his chestnut hair out of his face, “What’s wrong?”

He moved his head to allow his eyes to look at her, “‘M so tired, don’t know why. My stomach kind of hurts too…” Y/N looked at him quizzically, before running her hand over his tan forehead once more, this time checking for a fever. “You don’t have a fever. When did you go to sleep? Have you eaten anything today?” With her help, Harry moved into a seated position, head tilted back against the bedpost. He sat silent for a moment before blowing air out of his mouth. “Went to sleep kind of late for me, I guess...Haven’t eaten.”

“Ok, you’re just tired from staying up late, you old man, and you might be a little dehydrated and hungry. Listen, I’ll go make you some food if you get up and prepare yourself for the day. We need to get all your clothes fitted so that I can fix anything before next week.” Y/N was always good at getting Harry back on track when he got distracted - or even out of the station, when he wasn’t in the mood to work on something. She slid from her perch on the bed and walked to almost the edge of the room before Harry called her back.

“Can you pick out my clothes for me?” His soft, tired voice whined. “So hard...and you’ve got the best eye. Pleaseeee,” he pleaded softly.

Rolling her eyes, Y/N sighed and made her way back into his room. Crossing to the door that led to his walk-in closet, she set to work. As silly as he was being, she could never pass up on a chance to pick out an outfit for Harry.

“You’re literally going to be changing the entire time, H, you could have just thrown on sweats,” she called back to him once inside the smaller room. He repeated how she always picked the right thing, even for just around the house. Again, Y/N rolled her eyes at Harry, but she also couldn’t hide the warm smile on her face that was due to his compliment.

She couldn’t believe how dramatic Harry could be sometimes. Right now, he was a lesser form of hungover and he was acting like his life was ending. Y/N had made a note a while ago to never agree to a meeting on the day after any partying. She learned the hard way one particularly terrible Sunday. She had come round his house at a similar time, noon-ish and found Harry dead asleep, backwards in his bed. When she had roused him, his only responses were grumbles and groans. She had to not only pick out his clothes, but also help dress him. Then, after providing water and aspirin, she moved all their work into his bedroom so they could work from there. Harry had proved to be a baby when it came to hangovers.  But, she hadn’t realized he could get like this even without being truly hungover.

After settling on his live aid t-shirt, that Y/N was eternally jealous of, located at the front of his drawer and his favorite corduroy trousers, she walked out and threw them in the direction of his toned, but slumped body. “I will not get you boxers, that is most definitely not in my job description, Boss.” Y/N sent a pointed look in his direction, moving to finally leave the room. While he was technically her boss as her employer, their work relationship was extremely collaborative and it never felt like he was in control of her, she just liked to give him shit for being a drama queen.

“Guess I’ll be going commando. How’s that going to work with me changing in front of you a bunch of times?” He teased right back, taking the clothes you had thrown at him and giving them a onceover. His teasing signalled that he was already feeling better.

Y/N shook her head and walked out of the room, “For the love of God, Harry, please put on underwear before you come out and continuously strip in front of me!”

The words he shouted after that were muffled, but they were something along the lines of how the human body is beautiful and shouldn’t be covered up. Unbelievable. As she set to work on making both of them some lunch, she finally heard Harry begin moving around. They had a lot of work to do as it was and whenever Harry was in a mood, whether it be a good mood or a bad mood, they always seemed to have a hard time focusing.

One night, that could be seen as the poster child for Harry and Y/N’s procrastination, was during the planning for the Adore You music video. Harry was in a super good mood that day and he had brought that energy to their meeting at his house. Y/N was supposed to be fitting him for the various outfits, but Harry, in his mania, ordered an overzealous amount of Chinese food. It took her and Harry hours to even make a dent in the food. And while they passed the time with eating, Harry and Y/N got further and further from their tasks, opting for conversations that included more fun topics than work. They had gossipped about some of the other people they worked with, Harry had begged for “the tea” about some of his other staffers and Y/N was happy to oblige. As much as Y/N would hate to admit it, she loved when they got off of work subjects and talked about how their day’s had been and what has been on their nerves lately. It was a nice way to decompress, it was like hanging out with a friend, except it wasn’t, not really.

Harry shuffled into the kitchen wearing what Y/N had picked out for him. Her smile grew knowing that he hadn’t changed what she’d picked. His confidence in her and her abilities never failed to feel like the biggest compliment.

“Go sit at the dining table, I’ve made us some little sandwiches and then we can decide the order we want to go through the outfits in.”

Before following Y/N’s orders, Harry continued his shuffling around, first to the cabinet for a glass, then to the fridge for water. At the end of the table, she set the plates between the head of the table’s spot and the one to its left. Harry took the side spot, so Y/N was on the end. After a bite of his food, Harry moaned loudly in contentment. This caused an amused look on Y/N’s face, there had been nothing special in his house so she had just made what was possible. This meant that Harry’s satisfaction was a little over the top.

“You’re acting like you haven’t eaten in a week. What did you do last night that got you in such a twist?” Y/N asked as she took a sip of her own glass of water. Harry nibbled at his lower lip after swallowing, trying to understand why he was particularly tired today.

“I guess I forgot to eat properly yesterday and then I went out running. And I stayed up late on the phone with,” he paused, eyes flashing to Y/N and then away again, “someone for SNL.”

Y/N hummed at his words before going back to her own eating. She didn’t understand why he hesitated about telling her he’d been on the phone last night, it especially irked her that he wouldn’t even say with whom. Professionally, it wasn’t really her business, but Harry was never secretive with her. Plus, it seemed to be work related so why was he being so flighty about it.

Moving forward, Harry peppier from eating and simply moving around, the pair set to work. They decided on trying on everything else first and then saving the Watermelon Sugar suit to the end. The other three main pieces for the night fit perfectly, Y/N had to only do minor reworks of certain areas.

“H, I need you to hold still…” Y/N interrupted Harry’s ramblings as she was crouched beside him.

She had to take up the hem on the pant legs so right now she was trying to pin them in the place she and Harry had agreed upon, without messing with the pleats.

“Sorry,” He mumbled, straightening out his back to stand taller.

He stayed quiet for a bit until Y/N popped back up, she looked at her notebook for reference on what she still had to tailor.

“Okay, next, the pants crotch is looking pretty fitted, so I assume you want it taken down a bit,” Y/N said as she got back into her crouching position. “Look in the mirror and tell me where you think letting it out looks best, I don’t have the best vantage point when I’m up this close…” she trailed off, placing her measuring tape directly on top of Harry’s crotch and running it down his leg a ways.

Once done with her first attempt at where she thought was best to let the pants out, she turned her eyes to the mirror that showed Harry in his suit with Y/N on her knees before him. Harry cleared his throat as he looked in the mirror, seeing Y/N with her eyes wide in anticipation in the position she was in made him want to run and hide. Her hands were extremely close to his dick, but it was literally her job, he knew he had to shake the thoughts that were running through his mind.

“Maybe just a bit further up actually, as much as I like the high waist with dropped crotch, I want this suit to have that specifically tailored look,” his hands motioned for Y/N to bring the drop up a ways.

Her hands then brought the measuring tape up, once again grazing over his area. Again, Y/N looked at Harry through the mirror for approval, and this time he gave it and she placed a single pin in the place where the pants would be let out to.

Standing up, Y/N hoped Harry didn’t notice the blush gracing her face. She was a stylist and used to being around naked bodies as well as touching around a man’s crotch when working. But Harry in this suit must have been magic, because she had felt extremely vulnerable on her knees in front of him in it. She had felt flushed the minute he hadn’t liked what she had done initially and she hated that she felt that way for some reason. Beginning to work on the sleeves of the suit set her at ease, Y/N was thankful to no longer be kneeling or in such close proximity to what was under Harry’s pants.

“Anything on your mind of late?” Harry broke the silence.

Y/N hummed with a pin stuck between her lips, folding up the suit jacket’s right sleeve. Plucking it from her mouth after a few silent moments, she said, “Not really, haven’t had time to do much else lately. Always thinking about you,” Y/N flushed as she realized what she had just said. “I mean, thinking about you like about your clothes and when they’re going to arrive and what I need to do about them, not you personally, sorry that came out wrong,” her blush intensified as she rapidly fumbled through her last sentence.

“Ow!”

“Oh my god!”

While Y/N had gotten flustered with her words, she managed to stick the pin she was using straight into Harry’s flesh. She immediately removed the pin from where it had stuck him.

“Oh god, I’m so sorry, H, we’ve got to get this off. I need to make sure you’re not bleeding onto the suit.”

Y/N rushed around to Harry's backside and began slipping off his suit jacket as Harry chuckled and began to unbutton the shirt as carefully as possible.

“‘S alright, Y/N, if there’s any blood on the shirt it’ll blend in, blood is practically the same color.” She glared at him through the mirror and Harry continued to laugh, “That is not funny, H, I shouldn’t have stuck you in the first place.”

“No, no,” Harry hushed Y/N as she began to slip off his shirt from one side to the other, taking off the sleeve on the side she hadn’t poked, “you’ve got so much on your plate with all the planning for the upcoming events. Then you worked yourself up over a little slip.” As Y/N carefully unbuttoned the cuff of the sleeve to try and slip off the shirt with the least amount of blood on it as possible, Harry finished with, “I wouldn’t mind if you were just thinking about me, though, an’ not the clothes.”

This time, Y/N was very in control, not willing to let herself slip up a second time today. She didn’t know how to respond to what Harry had just admitted. It wasn’t like this hasn't happened before. Both of them were guilty of making little comments that made it sound like they were interested in each other in a way that was a little different than professional or friendly. But every time the other person always had the responsibility to shut the idea down or completely blow past what their counter had just said.

“Harry…” She began, it was soft and pleading, like she was saying she couldn’t entertain that idea. Examining his forearm, after pulling the shirt completely away and resting it on a nearby chair, she saw a little spot of blood protruding from the pin prick she had caused. “Where do you keep your bandages?” Y/N decided that it was best to brush past Harry’s words this time and went off to find his first aid kit. Harry stood there, shirtless, staring at the blood on his arm. It really wasn’t a lot and it wouldn’t have done anything to the suit, but Y/N was always so careful and never wanted to ruin any of Harry’s clothes.

On her return, Y/N came upon a shirtless Harry perched on the edge of the table, with one arm crossed and his other - that was bleeding - being held slightly away from his body, as if Harry was afraid to touch it. His posture was slumped so Y/N could see his spine curving beneath his tanned honey-soft skin and his shoulder blades slightly flexed. While most of Harry’s body was covered in tattoos, she noticed how the closest tattoo to his back was the small line drawing of a guitar on the back of his left shoulder. Other than that his smooth back was bare. Y/N found it interesting that Harry had never chosen to ink his back. She jogged lightly back into the room and Harry’s head turned to watch her approach. His bottom lip was caught between his teeth as he regarded her. She noticed he was being particularly quiet, but she had no idea why. Maybe he was still tired.

Y/N set to work on finding the correct tissue, neosporin, and bandage for Harry’s small wound. As she worked on fixing up her mistake, Harry’s eyes followed her movements. Green eyes flickering between her hands on his arm and her own eyes focusing on her task.

“After this, I actually can just head home and finish the rest of the work,” Y/N said as she unpackaged the bandage, “I already know where I need to take in the suit sleeves and the shirt’s sleeves were looking fine. So, I can get out of your hair and you can get to sleep early tonight.” She placed the nude toned bandage over Harry’s arm, she was a little sad to find he didn’t own fun bandages. That was something that she expected from Harry, but she resigned that maybe she didn’t know everything about Harry.

Before Harry could speak, Y/N continued, “Don’t rehearsals for the show start tomorrow? When are you flying to New York?” She ran her hand over the bandage, smoothing it in place. Her hand lingered there as her eyes looked up and met Harry’s. Harry twitched his arm away from Y/N’s touch and scratched his nose slightly.

“Yeah, I’m flying out tomorrow morning. When are you set to fly out?”

“Friday. I’ll get in before the final dress rehearsal and then I’ll be there for the show.” Y/N stepped back and began to rehang the suit jacket and shirt that they had discarded in her haste to not get blood on them.

Then Y/N stood there staring at Harry. He looked at her slightly confused by her doing nothing when she said she was leaving. “Pants, H.” She said finally when she realized he had forgotten he was still wearing the suit pants. “Oh! Sorry,” Harry exclaimed as he began to unbutton and remove the pants he was wearing. He handed her the pants and she exchanged them with his live-aid t shirt. He took it graciously before slipping it on and disguising his toned body beneath it. Then he took his pants from earlier and fully redressed himself.

“Damn!” Y/N said and Harry’s head flipped to watch her as she began to put all of the clothing back in their garment bags and take down the rack.

“What’s wrong?”

“I just pinched myself with the rack, I’m all left feet today.”

“Here,” Harry chuckled as he walked over to help Y/N, “let me help you with all this. Just in the boot of your car, yeah?” Y/N nodded and smiled in appreciation for Harry. He grabbed her keys laying on the table and then took the rack and a garment bag. Even if things sometimes got tense between them, for whatever reason, he was always quick to move past it and be thoughtful and kind in the best ways for Y/N. After shaking her hand out, she grabbed the last garment bags and followed Harry out to her car. Harry shut the back of her car softly and turned to face Y/N, she stood beside her car door, ever so slightly leaning against it. He walked to her side and smiled.

“I’ll see you in a week,” he said before wrapping his arms around Y/N’s much smaller frame. His body was radiating heat and it felt good against Y/N in the crisp night air of London. She pressed into his hold and wrapped her arms around his waist and squeezed him hard. “Less than...Can’t wait to see you make an absolute fool of yourself out there.” Harry protested her tease with a small, “Hey!” but mostly focused on his hands on her back and the way her hair felt especially soft under his chin. Finally, Y/N pulled away, “Kidding! You’ll be amazing and you’ll look killer while doing it.” She winked before opening her car door and driving off. Harry was left with the lingering scent of her perfume and shampoo mingling in his nose.

-

It was the Saturday night, November 16th, 2019.

Harry and Y/N were in his dressing room before the show started. His outfits for the night were lined up, except for his opener one that Y/N had just dressed him in. His first change would be for Light’s Up, then a couple skit outfits that had to be moved elsewhere for quick changes, then the Watermelon Sugar suit, and then finally his end of the show casual look. The opener looked incredible, it’s fit was impeccable and Y/N knew people were going to love it.

She stepped back from Harry to give his whole body a once over, the SNL hairstylist had just blown out his hair and given him a sort of middle part. It definitely looked good and paired with the suit - Y/N could already tell it was going to be a hit by all accounts. Harry grinned back at her, doing a little dance to show just how much he was loving his clothes and how excited he was.

Grabbing the lint roller, Y/N gave the lapels of his suit jacket a once over and then moved it slightly out of the way to roll the big collar of Harry’s shirt and the bits of the body of the shirt that were showing underneath the jacket. Basically, Y/N was lint rolling over Harry’s clothed abs. Apparently, that was a ticklish area for Harry because he began to squirm and giggle under the tool’s touch.

“Seriously, H?”

She smiled as she said it, so excited for Harry that she couldn’t be mad at his relestness.

“Can’t help it. ‘M so giddy. Plus, I’m a wee bit ticklish.”

Y/N gave him a single laugh before removing the lint roller and smoothing over the shirt against his stomach and then over the lapels when she put the jacket back in place. She adjusted the Gucci reader’s she was wearing today, that were more for decoration than anything, but she liked to pretend they made her see better.

“You look smashing, Mr. Styles. Absolutely gorgeous, if I do say so myself.”

“Are you talking to me or the suit?” Harry asked as he flipped to look in the full length mirror in the dressing room.

“Can’t it be both?”

“Sure,” Harry said, he noticed the clock and realized it was his time to get in places. He leaned down and placed a small kiss on Y/N’s cheek, “It’s my time, thank you, Y/N.” She blushed at his words and actions. As he walked out the door, she called after him, “Break a leg, H!” He sent a final air kiss in her direction before completely disappearing.

She looked at the clothes hanging on the rack in the room and palmed over the fabric. Checking the lapels and brushing the lint roller over the, she finally stepped back and was happy with how they looked. When the show was just about to start, she flitted to the part of backstage where she could watch Harry perform. She giggled along to his monologue and grinned whole-heartedly when the crowd would roar with approval. Y/N had heard all of the jokes already because of the dress rehearsal yesterday, but it didn’t matter. Harry was killing it. She also took time to appreciate how good Harry looked in his suit on stage. In front of the lights and all the people, his suit shined brightly with the pops of blue and yellow and the oversized grey-iege jacket. His soft chestnut hair billowed perfectly to frame his forehead as he sipped from the faux martini. Y/N bit her lip to stifle her laugh. The fact that Harry, her boss and friend, was up on the Saturday Night Live stage with pink and blue nails sipping from a faux martini, it was perfect.

When Harry came back for his first performance change Y/N was right there waiting for him.

“Hi, that was really good,” she smiled up at him as he began to take off his coat.

He smiled brightly back at her as he exhaled a hefty breath, “You think so?”

“Yes! C’mon, everyone loved it. You delivered it all perfectly…” she took over undoing the buttons on the shirt because Harry was moving too slowly. “I’m in a man band now…” Y/N mumbled under her breath before chuckling.

“Did you just imitate my accent?” Harry said, now pulling off his sleeves.

Y/N moved around his back to take the shirt to hang and grab his Lights Up outfit. They worked like a well-oiled machine together, constantly taking over roles to get things done more efficiently, but never stepping on each other’s toes.

“Nope,” she winked before handing him the black sequin jumpsuit and exchanging it for his yellow pants. After rehanging the pants and bringing over Harry’s different set of boots, Y/N said, “Y’know, I’d have to say that your hair is giving your suit a run for its money.” She placed the shoes on the table beside Harry and began to fix into the place different parts of the jumpsuit, moving to zip up the back and then coming to the front to smooth it.

“What do you mean?” Harry looked in the mirror and delicately touched the edges of his hair, considering Y/N’s statement.

“No one ever really sees it how it is, nicely blown out but not too much product so it falls to frame your face. What’d you tell the hair person you wanted?” Y/N stepped back to allow Harry to change his boots from one Gucci pair to another, like he did with most of his wardrobe.

“Just told them to make me look mature. You think it looks good?” He looked up at Y/N when he asked the question.

“Think it looks sexy, that’s what I’m saying, no one’s gonna be able to focus on your clothes with how good your hair looks.”

“Ah,” he deftly runs his hands down his suit as he looks in the mirror.

Y/N just stares at Harry, checking him over one more time. She wasn’t lying about his hair, it was sexy and she wanted to run her hands through it to feel how soft it was. In a complete friend way of course.

“I like it…”

“It looks like you just rolled out of bed, but the bed was made of angel feathers.”

Harry laughed at Y/N’s description. He shifted his body to face her more and moved closer to her in the process.

“Alright, you should probably get back out there,” Y/N closes the gap between them and adjusts the chain of his jade and silver crosses and brushes over his broad shoulders.

They’re professional touches, but her movements hold an undercurrent of intimacy that neither of them realize. If anyone had been looking on, they would see how Y/N’s fingers delicately caressed Harry’s skin right before she cradled the pendants to move them in place. They would also see Harry instinctively lean forward into her touch and breathe slightly deeper to take in her scent. When she brushes over his shoulders, he straightens up at the touch and shows he’s ready to get back out there. It’s as if she prepared him to go.

Harry sings Lights Up and the crowd loves it. Sarah kills her drumming and Mitch eats up lead guitar. The backup singers bring out a different tone to the song. It is all around an amazing performance.

As Y/N clapped along with the crowd from backstage, Aidy Bryant approaches her.

“You’re Harry’s stylist, right?”

Y/N turns her head at the woman next to her, “Yeah?”

Aidy smiles, eyes slightly gleaming, “Well, you’re wonderful at your job.” As Y/N is about to thank her, Aidy continues, “And Harry knows that too, he talked about you all week. We all thought you were his girlfriend at first.”

Y/N laughed lightly and had to keep herself from letting her jaw drop at Aidy’s words. She even choked a bit on her own spit and had to cough slightly before even being able to think of a response, “Well, um, yeah...no, H, Harry is just my employer and...friend. No dating, we just get along well. Which is important since we spend a lot of time together - for work of course!”

Aidy smiled sweetly at Y/N, “Yeah, Harry explained that when Beck asked him how long you’d been together. At first he had said a couple months and then said ‘wait, Y/N is just my stylist, we’ve been working together for a couple months’ and then we all felt really dumb.”

“Don’t feel dumb,” Y/N reassured her, unsure why she was actually continuing this conversation, “He loves to talk about clothes and that’s where I fit in to his life, so I’m sure my name would come up a fair bit. Was that it?”

“Yeah I guess, but-” Aidy began to say more, but Y/N cut her off.

“Oh gosh, I’m sorry, but Harry’s finished and I’ve got to go help him change for his next song.”

Aidy was left in Y/N’s wake, chuckling to herself, fully reassured about the reason that they had all thought Harry had been dating Y/N. Because they already acted like a couple. And they were both helplessly in love with one another and neither of them knew.

The rest of the show went off without a hitch. Harry continued to wow the crowd and Y/N sent him off from his dressing room always looking fabulous. Just as he was about to walk back on stage for his final farewell, Y/N noticed a tiny string on his trousers zipper. Unable to stop Harry and unable to grab at the string without looking odd, she had to let him walk on stage with it. It wasn’t actually a big deal, but Y/N sighed in annoyance because she knew that string was going to bug her for the rest of the night.

“Treat People With Kindness!” Harry finishes off his farewell.

Applause begins to sound and the cast is out front hugging and chatting, while Y/N is watching from the side still fixated on the string on Harry’s pants, now simply dangling. Finally, they begin to clear the stage because it’s time for the after party. Y/N knew there was no stealing Harry away to fix the problem that was now fixated in her mind. Every cast and crew member was trying to talk to him, congratulating him, hugging him, anything to spend time with the incredible man. Y/N couldn’t blame them, but she also wanted to be able to go some place quiet and debrief with Harry about his outfits. She wanted to look up what people were saying about his clothes and discuss the critiques with Harry. She also wanted to start discussing what was coming next with Harry. But most of all, she just wanted to hang out with Harry.

What Y/N wanted wasn’t going to happen anytime soon, which she knew, but it still only grew her annoyance with that string. If only she could get it off of him, maybe then her mind would be able to relax a little.

She meandered backstage, resigned she wouldn’t be talking to Harry for a while. There she went to find the band’s dressing room, knowing she would find Mitch or Sarah who she’d be happy to talk to. They weren’t ones for the spotlight and no one ever really seemed to want to brownnose with them at events like this. Y/N had met them a few times.

The first was when Harry had asked Y/N to meet him in the studio in mid July, Mitch and Sarah had both been there helping Harry finish up something for the album. Y/N never asked what, she liked music quite a bit, but when it came to the technical part of it, it went completely over her head. Harry had introduced them both and they seemed lovely. After that, she had seen them around for an event or two of Harry’s. It wasn’t much, but it was more than any of the other people around right now.

Just as she was about to knock on the door it swung open, revealing Harry’s entire backing band. “Hey,” Y/N said sheepishly, “Harry’s being fawned over by the masses and I don’t actually know anyone else here. Is it alright if I hang out with you all at this after party? I doubt there’s going to be anyone really dying to meet the stylist.”

She smoothed her own clothes as she spoke. Y/N wanted to look professional tonight because sometimes when she was dressed in more fun or “young” clothes she got mistaken for someone who had snuck in. The only thing that got people to not question her authority to be where she was, was a card that read ‘staff’ that she would clip onto whatever she was wearing at places like this. Tonight, she chose a pair of purple plaid pants, a sleek lilac tank underneath a cream knit shawl, and cream Gucci mules.  Ever since Harry took an interest in Y/N’s pearl necklace, she had largely stopped wearing hers because she hoped never to be photographed matching with him. However, she had known the pearls would have completed the look, even putting them on in her hotel room, twisting a pearl in her hand as she looked in the mirror, and then taking the necklace off again and settling on a different silver necklace instead. The ‘staff’ card was clipped to her pants pocket tonight.

“Of course!” Sarah said as the band began to file out of the room, “You might want to take your tag off now, though, you’re done working for the night.”

Her laughter rang sweetly through Y/N’s ears and she smiled back before removing her identifying card. She hated the piece of plastic and was glad to take it off, it never went with her outfits, but she had gotten tired of taking out her business card every time someone asked what she was doing. Y/N was sure that during the tour she’d be fine without it, but as Harry’s show appearances were beginning to ramp up she knew it would be helpful to have.

“Thanks...you all were amazing out there tonight. Second time on the SNL stage right?”

The group of you began to walk in the direction of where the after party was being held. Mitch piped up, “Thanks. Yeah, I love their box stage setup, it’s pretty cool.” Y/N was happy that she had people who were easy to talk to so that she wouldn’t be alone tonight.

Arriving in the room of the party, they were all quick to grab the alcohol that was being provided at the pop up bar. Y/N wasn’t normally a fan of drinking at events like these, mainly because she was not usually invited to this part of the night and when she was she wanted to be alert. But she figured there wasn’t much else to do so she took a hearty sip of the champagne. It was a little sweet, her face scrunched.

“Too sweet?” Mitch questioned when he saw Y/N’s face.

“Just a little for my taste.”

“Harry’s not going to be drinking tonight then. So particular about his alcohol,” Mitch continued.

Y/N laughed, “Well I’m glad, then I don’t have to deal with him being a baby about his hangover tomorrow.”

Mitch quirked an eyebrow at Y/N’s statement. Sarah and the others in the band had dispersed to mingle with the SNL party goers, leaving Mitch and Y/N to their conversation.

Realizing what she said could be seen as slightly weird out of context, Y/N quickly started again, “because I’m supposed to go shopping with Harry tomorrow. He wanted to go to Gucci and a couple other stores here before flying to LA. I’m going back to London until the listening parties, so we need to figure out the finishing touches for those and..” Y/N trailed off trying to remember which looks weren’t completed yet for the next few shows, Mitch waited patiently, “a few of the suits for the Late Late Show. He’s not happy with one of them so we might switch it. But anyway, you know how he is with a hangover. Proper child.”

Mitch threw his head back in laughter at Y/N’s serious look that she gave him. “Yeah, he can be...a lot. I meant to tell you, Harry looked great tonight. All of the clothes were fantastic,” Mitch added.

He was kind and Y/N appreciated him sticking with her. The two of them had rested themselves against a wall near the bar, sipping their champagne and enjoying each other’s company.

“Thank you.”

Mitch opened his mouth to say something else, but Heidi Gardener, another SNL member interrupted.

“Y/N, right!?”

Y/N and Mitch both turn to her, equally taken aback by the sudden burst of energy from this person they didn’t really know. Y/N nodded.

“Oh my gosh! You have to tell me where you got the jacket Harry is wearing!”

Heidi even goes as far to point in Harry’s direction. Y/N knows what she’s talking about, but her eyes still wander to where she pointed. Harry stood in a clump of people, surrounded by Ben Winston, James Corden, and the Gerbers who had all come to watch. She sighed as she watched his eyes shine as he laughed with a smile on his face. She hoped that by now the string had fallen off his pants by now, if not she was going to kick herself later.

“Oh, it’s Bode,” Y/N’s eyes coming back to meet Heidi’s happy face, “but it’s custom made from a vintage blanket. There’s only two that exist.”

Y/N and Mitch watched as Heidi’s face dropped.

“And I’m pretty sure the designer owns the other one,” Y/N added, “Sorry.”

Heidi smiles and jokes, “Know any ways I could possibly get Harry to give me his?”

“He loves that coat. I have no idea what you could possibly do to convince him he didn’t need it anymore.”

“Sex, probably,” Mitch says under his breath.

Heidi doesn’t catch it as she walks back off and Y/N turns to swat him with her free hand.  

“What? He always gives away his clothes to girl’s he has crushes on.” Y/N rolls her eyes at Mitch’s words.

“Probably best if you don’t inform the masses about that,” a new voice says.

Unbeknownst to Mitch and Y/N, Harry had broken away from his entourage to steal a few minutes with his two friends, his best friends if he was being honest. They laugh together as he wraps his arms around their shoulders and pulls them both into his chest. Y/N feels the warmth radiating from Harry’s body as she snuggles into his side. Her hand wraps under his jacket and around his waist to squeeze right about his hip bone. His face is gleaming with a small sheen of sweat, but his smile is so big she barely notices his perspiration as he looks down at her.

“Heard you were talkin’ shit?”

Mitch quips, “Us? Never.”

Harry scoffs, “Come off it!”

When he releases Y/N and Mitch from his grasp, Mitch straightens up while Y/N’s eyes immediately go down to Harry’s crotch. She’s not paying attention to their conversation as she tries to make out in the dim light whether the string is gone or not. The men realize she’s not listening and they both follow her gaze.

Confused, Harry asks, “Y/N, any particular reason you’re staring at my dick?”

Her head shoots up, eyes wide and cheeks flushed from embarrassment.

“I wasn’t!”

Mitch laughs and decides he wants another glass of champagne right then, mumbling something about how that was his cue. Harry smiles, knowing she wasn’t doing what he had said, but still intrigued to know what was going on in her mind.

“You had a string right on your zipper and it’s been bugging me since you went out for your outro. This is the first time I’ve seen you on your own and I couldn't exactly go up to you in a random crowd and grab at your crotch. But now I can’t see in this light…” Y/N bit at her lower lip and furrowed her brow still trying to see if the string was there.

“Have you really been thinking about it this whole time?” Harry asked, slightly concerned.

“Yes...I know it doesn’t matter, but I just want your clothes to look perfect.”

Harry takes a deep breath as he makes a small smile at Y/N. Then he brushes over the front of his pants, hoping he removes the string if it's still attached to him. “There, I’m sure it’s gone now. I’m sorry you had to worry about that. Just know everyone I’ve talked to has been raving about the clothes.” He placed his ring-clad hand on Y/N’s upper arm and squeezed it.

“You did an amazing job,” Y/N said.

Harry pulls her into his chest one more time. This time without Mitch so both of Harry’s arms go around her shoulders and both of hers go around his slender waist. Again her hands disappear under his coat and thumb over his warm white t-shirt, her face resting on his chest right next to the word ‘Sex’. His arms tighten around her back as they rest there for a while. Y/N always has to make herself pull away, knowing that Harry will stay there for as long as he can - in anyone’s embrace - and remembering they’re in a public setting, she didn’t want anyone to assume things, even if she had already been made aware that people had.

“We’ll debrief more later tonight, yeah? The champagne is terrible so I won’t be drinking,” Harry said.

Y/N laughed under her breath as she smiled at his words. Mitch and her knew Harry too well. She nodded about getting together later, “Alright. Get back to your fan club.” Harry narrowed her eyes at her words, not sure if she was trying to sound sarcastic or not.

-

Hey, I’m back at the hotel. Just let me know when you want to debrief :) x

Y/N texted Harry the minute she got back to the hotel, she had no idea if he had left before her or was still at the after party. All she knew was that it was late and she was starting to get tired. Still, it was important for them to talk about their plans for tomorrow and she also really wanted to just be with him alone. Whenever they would debrief after big events Harry and Y/N would laugh at all the outrageous stuff they had seen go on throughout the night.

When she was still a freelance stylist she had helped Harry to plan his Camp outfit at the Met Gala. That night, they never even went to bed and had to debrief about the clothes the next afternoon over tea at the Palace. Both her and Harry were recovering from their exhaustion and nursing equally terrible hangovers. But there they were, sitting in the center of the dining area of the hotel, being served some of the nicest tea and sandwiches Y/N had ever had. It was amazing. Y/N had never felt that rich in her life before and Harry had told her the craziest stories about the most famous people in attendance. It was almost unbelievable what these people would reveal to Harry and Y/N was happy to listen to all of it, promising to never tell anyone else. That outing was probably the first time Harry realized he really liked Y/N and wanted to work more closely with her.

While tonight wasn’t quite as wild as the Met Gala had been, Y/N was still excited to hear any funny stories Harry might have in addition to their clothing talk. They really hadn’t had much time to chat since she had gotten to New York yesterday so it would be nice to just be alone together. Even if Y/N chalked their debriefs up to ‘shop talk’, she was always very excited for them.

As she reached her hotel room door, her phone buzzed with a message from Harry.

I’m still out, but should be heading back soon. Up to you if you want to wait up or we can just debrief in the morning while we shop. x H  

Y/N sighed at the message, she wanted to wait up and debrief before tomorrow, if not for alone time with Harry but professionally for being able to plan out their shopping tomorrow. Where Harry was carefree, Y/N was meticulous and planned out. She liked to have fun, but she knew when she had to get her work done, even when Harry was off in his own mind. Their work styles mostly coincided, Harry could be serious and focused, too, but often when he was surrounded by all his famous friends he had a hard time saying ‘no’ to whatever came up. So Y/N knew that Harry’s definition of ‘soon’ could range from actually soon to almost dawn. She really hoped he actually meant soon, so she shot him a text saying:

Just knock on my room and if I open it we can debrief lol x

Harry smiled down at his phone when Y/N’s text came through, slightly chuckling before double tapping and placing a heart reaction of her text. Then he was pulled into the limo that one of his friend’s had gotten them and was handed a flute of champagne.

Back at the hotel, Y/N threw her phone on the bed and decided to change and simply settle in for the night. If Harry made it back, he made it back and if he didn’t she’d wake up well rested.

Maybe thirty minutes into scrolling on her phone, Y/N heard a rough knock on her door. She was actually quite surprised that Harry had indeed been back soon. Rising from her snuggled place in the bed, she shifted around her night clothes and padded to her door. There stood, rather hung, a slightly disheveled Harry. His hair was whipped into disaster, something was smudged on his face, and she noticed a stain on his t-shirt that hadn’t been there the last time she’d been with him.

He slurred her name as he stumbled through the doorway. Y/N closed her eyes and sighed in exasperation. She was in awe that somehow Harry hadn’t gotten off his ass in the past hour and a half.

“What happened to not drinking tonight?”

She walked beside him and helped shove him into a sitting position on her bed. He flapped his arms, chaotically trying to get his plaid jacket off. Throwing her phone in the direction of her pillow, she moved to help Harry with his jacket. After quite a bit of strugglings, Y/N finally got the Bode jacket off of him successfully and threw it onto the nearby chair. Sighing, she settled beside him.

“So, Harry, care to explain?”

“Hi, Y/N…” He swayed slightly, attempting to face Y/N more. She threw out a hand to his shoulder, gripping him tightly to try and steady him.

“We went in this limousine, and they had champagne - good champagne - and I drank a bottle or so pretty quickly.”

“Or so? Oh Harry...I mean you’re free to make your own choices, but I don’t know if this was one of your best.”

“Wasn’t...wasn’t my idea. I was planning on just going back to the hotel. Then James convinced me to come out for a bit. Then the champagne was looking good so I went for it.”

“Like I said, you can make your own choices,” she patted his arm and went to the en suite bathroom to wet a washcloth to clean off his face.

“So, is it champagne on your shirt or am I going to have to go through hell to get the stain out?” She called.

Harry groaned and leaned back on the bed, fingering at the crisp white sheets. “Champagne,” he finally muttered as Y/N reappeared into the dim room, only the outside world and the light in the bathroom lighting this area.

“And on the face?”

She climbed onto the bed and kneeled beside Harry’s prone body, beginning to swipe at the smudge on his face. He tilted his head to face her, bringing the cheek with the dirt to lay facing perfectly up. His jawline showed perfectly and she felt the strength that laid beneath the skin she was washing.

His eyes flitted up to her face, trying to stop the spins he was currently experiencing. He hadn’t thought he was that drunk until he had been required to find his way up to their floor on his own.

“Lipstick?”

She sighed, running the washcloth over his cheek once more, and tried to push the image of some woman (or man who wore lipstick, she guessed) with her lips all over Harry’s face. She didn’t want to know who it was or why it was. It was too hard, especially after the day of people asking her about Harry and her relationship and insinuating things about him and his romantic life. She just liked to keep the words Harry and romance apart as much as possible, it made her life easier that way.

“It was only from-”

“It’s ok, Harry, I don’t need to know who you were…” She stopped herself, not even wanting to say ‘kissing’ or ‘snogging’ or even worse ‘shagging’. Adults were human beings and they could do a lot in an hour and a half. And again, she didn’t want to know.

“You keep doing that. Are you mad at me?”

“I’m sorry?”

“Calling me Harry, not ‘H’. Is it because you’re mad at me?”

“No,” she sighed, shifting to sit more casually, “No, I’m not mad at you. I just wasn’t expecting you to show up at my door like this. I try not to worry about you, but then when you show up like this, it kind of affirms I had reason to be concerned.”

She took a hand and smoothed over Harry’s tousled hair, he rolled his head back to face the ceiling. “Like I said, you’re an adult, capable of making his own decisions. And, I am just your stylist. I’m just glad you made it up here and knocked on my door. Probably would have given someone else a fright.”

He laughed, starting to sober up as the spinning in the room stopped. Her hands on his face and hair were soothing and sobering.

“Thank you for caring about me, love. And going beyond being just my stylist, you’re my friend Y/N.”

His eyes flickered shut and Y/N stared at his soothed features. His words were still slurred and she was sure the use of love was just his britishness slipping through his drunken state. The part about being more than a stylist, she tried to push it away, telling herself not to read more into it than her heart would like to. Even though he said she was a friend as well as a stylist and not anything more, it still sent so much joy through her body. He didn’t just see her as a work colleague and he had said it. But in his inebriated state, Y/N didn’t want to take everything he said as gospel.

She moved him up the bed with a little bit of his sleepy self’s help into a more comfortable position. It was pretty late now and she wasn’t going to kick him out. It would have been rude and unkind and that were two things Y/N rarely was. She went and grabbed the extra blanket from the cabinet and draped it over Harry’s large body for extra warmth since he refused to get under the covers. She also slipped off his boots and stained shirt per his request before getting into the other side of the bed and falling asleep.

-

She awoke to a shifting body beside her and she sat up confused as to who it could be. Quickly, Harry showing up drunk at her door came flooding back and she turned to look at the groaning Harry beside her. His arm was thrown over his face as he moaned, just waking up as well and experiencing the first bits of his hangover. This was going to be a long day.

“Hullo,” his voice was especially low, groggy and hoarse from the night before. He peaked over at her from behind the crook of his elbow. His eyelids barely open and his eyelashes weighing them down so much so that she could barely see his sleepy jade eyes.

“Good morning, H. Have a nice rest?” Y/N sat up and began to ready herself for the day, rummaging through her suitcase for an outfit and moving about the room.

Harry’s arms went to his sides as he worked to sit up, eyes following her figure as she moved around, seemingly not groggy very much unlike him. “Erm...I’m sorry for showing up pissed.”

“S’fine, H. Just glad you didn’t end up in a ditch or someone’s bed - someone’s that you might regret…” She barely regards him, throwing a single glance his way before shuffling to the bathroom to change. She knows they’ll be photographed today, it’s almost inevitable right now. Everyone knows Harry is in New York and people are buzzing to see him after his performance last night. She slips on the 70s inspired dress, the v-neck and long sleeves settling perfectly on her frame, it hugs her curves and lands around mid-thigh. Rolling on the bold mustard yellow tights and strapping up the brown leather mary jane heels, she looks herself over in the mirror. She then tries to tame her hair and do the rest of her routine, knowing she needed to get on with the day, shopping first and flying home second. Making sure Harry was okay was also on that list, but she couldn’t pretend like she wasn’t a little disappointed in him after last night.

When she returns, Harry is sitting with his legs hanging off the edge of the bed, head hanging as he’s hunched over himself. “C’mon, you gotta get going, kid. Lots to do today.” She’s pacing over to Harry’s deflated figure to pick him up and prompt him to get moving. When she arrives by his side his head lifts and his now more awake eyes stare up at her.

“I’m sorry for yesterday, really. I mean it.”  

“I told you already. It’s fine.”

“It’s not - or it wasn’t. You called me ‘Harry’ last night. I don’t think I’ve heard you call me that to my face since we started working together. I took your answer last night because I was swimming in it, but now, thinking about it. I know you were upset.”

She huffs, taking a seat beside Harry on the bed, choosing to not look at him, slightly confused why she had been so upset and why he was pushing it. “Ok, yeah I was annoyed, but I was also genuinely worried. I didn’t know you could physically get that drunk in that small amount of time. And then you show up at my door with somebody else’s…” Y/N falters, catching her slip up and deciding to fix her gaze on her shoes and their intricate design built into the leather.

“You’re upset that I had lipstick on me?” He’s trying to meet Y/N’s gaze, but her eyes are really interested in her shoes. His tone is confused, he’s trying to understand what’s going on in her mind.

She scoffs, risking a glance to Harry but then returns quickly back to her dress this time. “Please...it was just inconvenient for me, okay? Thought we were going to debrief and stayed up late for you. Then I had to take care of you after you hung out with your famous pals and I had barely even seen you all day. Felt a bit used.”

Harry shifted in the bed, turning to face her by tucking one leg beneath him. He places a hand on hers that was placed on the end of her dress. Her eyes finally meet with his and she feels her breath slightly catch in her throat. His eyes are piercing, his gaze intense, maybe even a tinge of anger. “Y/N, I would never have come to your room if I even had an inkling that this would be how you’d interpret it . Even though I was drunk, I wanted to see you, that’s why I came up here, because I wanted to be with my friend, one of my best friends, not because I just needed some pushover to care for me.”

She sighs, feeling icky still about the whole situation. She sometimes found herself in fights that she never intended, she wished she hadn’t said anything at all. But she also knew that wasn’t healthy either. Flipping her hand, she intertwines her fingers with Harry’s and smiles for the first time that morning. His expression softens at it. “Look, I’m sorry too, H. It honestly wasn’t that big of a deal, but I appreciate that you’re such a great guy and boss to want to truly apologize and make sure I’m comfortable and happy… Oh, and I promise I’ll never call you anything but H from here on out - unless you tell me otherwise.”

He cackles unabashedly at her words, before suddenly clutching at his temple with his free hand. “Fuckin’ hangover,” he mumbles. She smiles and stands up, beginning to throw his shirt and shoes from the end of the bed at him, “You need to get ready. Go pop some advil or whatever. My flights at 5 so we haven’t got all day, H.”

“There she is,” Harry grins, beginning to put back on the stained ‘Sex’ shirt.

As he hustles out of the room, shoes in hand, she calls to him one last request, “When you’re in fresh clothes make sure you bring me that stained shirt. Gonna have to spot clean it when I’m back in London!”

“Of course! And we’ll debrief as we shop, yeah?”

“Yes!”

The two of them were shouting to each other as the door continued to close on them. Chuckling to herself, she begins to pack up her room, knowing she had to check out before they left. Her spirits already lifted, she doesn’t even notice as she throws Harry’s forgotten Bode jacket into her suitcase with some other items that had been on her chair. She wouldn’t notice it until she was back in London unpacking from the trip.

Shutting the case, she springs back up from her crouched position and walks to look in the full length mirror again. Her fingers run the length of her dress, leafing over the slightly darker brown embroidered flowers that were woven into the tan fabric. She squints as she turns sideways and pops a heel up behind her. It looks good, but something is missing. Rummaging through her carry-on she pulls out her old butterfly bandana she used as a head scarf and begins to fix it into place on her head. Placing large sunglasses on the bridge of her nose, she feels like the look is complete and gives herself some poses in the mirror; a peace sign, an air kiss, a Marilyn Monroe. She laughs at herself.

A knock on the door shakes her from her childish fun. Straightening up, Y/N saunters over to the door, swinging it open with ease. “H?”

“You ready?” Harry stands in a fresh pair of Marni trousers paired with a striped orange and mauve Marni sweater. He, like Y/N, had this thing about wearing the brand you planned to shop at. He didn’t always stick to his rule, but he usually didn’t like to wear Gucci when he shopped at Gucci.

“Yeah, just need to check out and drop my baggage at the front to be held for later.” Y/N slips through the door and notes how his outfit compliments hers. She wouldn’t mention it, but it's something to think about since he had known what she was wearing. She wasn’t sure why she noticed things like that, if asked, her answer would probably be that it was the stylist in her, just her job.

-

Stepping out of a black town car on the side street next to Gucci to go in the side entrance would never get old for Y/N. She had never really enjoyed the idea of fame, but from a young age she had known she wanted to be able to afford the finer things in life. Going into the Gucci store now, especially with Harry, was like going to the candy store once you’re a grown up and can buy whatever you want rather than what your parents will allow you to.

Today, Harry and Y/N didn’t have as much time as they would usually like to spend in the store, but they were just happy to be doing what they loved. Y/N had been ecstatic to find out Harry found shopping to be an essential part of his life and that he liked to do his outfit shopping in person rather than online. Trying on clothes and picking out things you liked just was so much more fulfilling when you were in the physical store. Then make that all happen with Harry Styles as the buyer, then it was a real party. The stores liked to pull out their Champagne and clear the store to allow him privacy, specifically when it was for clothes for projects under wraps. In the beginning of her employment, it was only ever Harry who would do the trying on of clothes, but as the two of them got acquainted and comfortable with each other, she found herself trying things Harry would pick out for her. At first, she would veto some items saying they were too expensive for her, but eventually she learned that her new salary covered whatever it was. She had always enjoyed designer labels and choosing to be a stylist meant she had nice clothes, but only working for Harry had caused her closet to double in size and triple in value.

“So we are looking for some trousers today,” she tells the worker at the store, reminding them of what she had already called ahead about. The employee nods and proceeds to lead them into the room where they had laid out an assortment of pants for Harry to pick from.

“What do you think of these?” Harry walks out and strikes a pose, popping one of his hips to the side and his hands on his hips. The pants strain around his thighs, but fit practically perfectly everywhere else. His slim waist is perfectly encircled by the fabric and he’s decided the sweater he was wearing didn’t match them and he’d rather go shirtless. This choice technically should allow her to solely focus on the pants, but it actually makes her focus that much more diverted. She makes a spinning motion with her pointer finger as she purses her lips. He takes a quick spin and the boot cut slightly flares with his movement. The pants are a dark brown with a single plaid crossing in a lighter brown. They are only lightly flared, which she prefered to the extreme flare that some of Harry’s suits had. She narrows her eyes at the pants to keep her gaze from shifting to the taut muscles of Harry’s arms and torso or the dark ink that licked over his skin in the beautiful designs of his choice.

“They’re nice,” she pulls up a picture of the top part of the outfit he was planning on wearing, “Do you think they match with this though?” Harry walks over to her seated position and bends to look at her phone. His skin radiates heat and the smell of his cologne and she sniffles slightly with her sensitive nose. His eyes flicker to her face when he notices her little noise, but returns to looking at the phone when she doesn’t spare him a glance. She felt his gaze on her, but couldn’t bring herself to look from the phone. She knew his proximity would make it even harder for her to keep her eyes off his naked torso. The expensive smell of Harry mixed with the expensive smell of the store was a lot to handle.

“Yeah...no. You think they’re not right,” she widens her eyes at Harry’s words when he pulls away. He turns to the mirror in the open dressing room and fiddles with the waistline of the pants. “I agree,” he finishes before stalking back into the room and shutting the heavy velvet curtain that worked as the door to it.

He tries on five more pairs of trousers and finally settles on two pairs for the two different listening parties. A heavier, wool-tweed pair that was dark brown and then a lighter brown tweed pair. He was still in the lighter pants as he stared into the mirror. He beckoned to Y/N, and she quickly set down the flute of Champagne she had been sipping at lazily as he admired himself.

“Is it possible for you to take it in a bit more,” he says in a hushed tone to her, not wanting the workers to overhear. They were helpful but if they overheard they would wait for the store to tailor the trousers and he preferred for Y/N to do it. He rubs at the waistline again and she moves closer, her hands going to his sides. Her fingertips graze the naked skin above the trousers and Harry shivers at the coldness of the new touch. She ghosts softly over the waistline herself and smooths the fabric until she’s pinching a small amount on each side. She hums, pulling back from Harry and looking at the fit of them now, examining whether that makes them look better.

Then she nods and smiles up at Harry, “Ever the slender waist,” he grins right back as she admires him. She knew how much he liked praise and she was happy to give it to him, especially when he was so deserving. “I’d say size down, but then your thighs and bum might strain the fabric too much.” His face turns to a smirk as she blushes at her words. She releases the fabric and takes a hand to pat Harry’s smooth chest before walking back to her seat on the lovely couch.

“You sure you don’t want to try anything on, Y/N? Saw some killer boots when we walked in that screamed you.” Harry calls from behind the curtain, presumably getting redressed. Her laugh comes through the curtain slightly muffled, yet still a sweet melody in Harry’s ears.

“Definitely not now, we’re leaving any minute. Plus, I’ve got plenty of Gucci boots, don’t even show me them or I’ll be tempted.”

His laughter rings through the curtains, loud and unrestrained. She smiles to herself, unable to discourage the pleasure that weaves through her at the sound. His presence in all the different ways she experienced it was instantly comforting.

-

When she arrives back to her London flat, she practically flops on her couch once she’s inside the door. Her luggage forgotten at the door, as she shrugs off her coat. It was around 7 am because she had chosen to take the red eye for some reason. She groaned as she thought about the day ahead of her. Even though Harry was halfway across the globe, she still had plenty of work to do. She had to finalize the outfits for the listening parties now that they had the pants to complete the looks. Then she had to start thinking about Harry’s December appearances. She had sent ahead his Late Late outfits that he had needed in Los Angeles for the pre-filming, but she still had to deal with the outfits for the live part of the show.

Today, she was set to go pick up the other pieces needed for the listening parties as well as items for the Graham Norton Show and Jingle Ball. She was most excited for her travels because that meant looking at brand new clothes that were perfect and gorgeous. She also knew she needed to spot clean Harry’s shirt, which didn’t spark as much joy in her tired mind.

The idea of the shirt staining with alcohol was what brought her out of her snuggling with her comfy couch. Sure, it couldn’t get that bad, but still she was a worrier and it would pain her if the iconic shirt got ruined. She padded back over to her luggage, now without her jacket or shoes. Her major suitcase got flipped on its side and she began to unzip it. It came open easily seeing as it was stuffed with her clothes and various items. She had to rummage a minute for Harry’s shirt that seemed to have run away inside the bag. Finally, the large white shirt made itself known and she grasped it happily.

As she looked over the stain near the collar of the shirt, her eyes traveled to a piece of fabric peeking out of her suitcase. It was a familiar blue, cream and white. A specific fabric she would never misplace, would never not recognize. Harry’s plaid Bode jacket. It was iconic and she loved it, but why did she have it in her suitcase. She definitely didn’t mean to have it, it’s genuinely just one of Harry’s jackets so it wouldn’t make sense for her to bring it back with the show's wardrobe. She tries to think back to yesterday, when she was still in New York. Thinking about why she would have it, she places the memories of Harry coming to her room, taking off his coat, and accidentally leaving it in her room all fit together. She must have just absentmindedly placed it in her suitcase without even realizing. She’s sure Harry wouldn’t mind, she’d shoot him a text, though, to tell him she had it. So he wouldn’t worry about whether he’d lost it or not.

When she gets ready for the day, she finds herself being drawn to blue and cream. Her outfit is understated and she just knows the jacket would finish the look. She loved that jacket and now that she had it, would it be a big deal if she wore it out. She figured it was fine. After she grabbed her purse, keys, and other essentials, she slipped on the coat. Harry was very broad shouldered and it hung oversized on her. She loved the look and snapped a selfie in the mirror before she headed out. While it felt a little narcissistic to constantly take photos of herself, she felt like as a stylist it was important to document her looks just as much as she documented her clients.

What she didn’t think about is just how much the rest of the world liked to document her client and those who were seen with her client. She didn’t think about how she had just been seen with Harry yesterday. That thought didn’t even cross her mind as she walked around the streets of London picking up her work. As she saw some photographers out and about (whom she assumed were for famous celebrities, not her). How it might seem with her wearing the Bode jacket Harry had worn on SNL two nights ago. The Bode jacket that there were only two of.

None of it crossed her mind. Not until it was the end of the day and she had a whole slew of texts from Harry’s manager. A few from Harry, and others but the other fifteen were solely from Jeff. She was a bad texter so as she walked into her flat and finally looked at her phone after putting down all of her garment bags her eyes went wide.

Please tell me you’re not out in London right now!

What are you wearing??

That cannot be Harry’s jacket Y/N

Seriously?

Please call me.

CALL ME. NOW.

      - All from Jeff.

She grimaced. The others from her friends including Harry would have to be ignored right now. Even if Harry was her boss, Jeff was who she had to deal with when it came to public appearances and it didn’t seem like she could get around this one. Normally, she never had to deal with him, but it seems today wasn’t normal.

- 

part 2

#harry styles fanfiction #harry styles x reader #harry styles #harry styles x you #harry styles x y/n #harry styles fluff #harry styles angst #harry styles smut #harry styles fan fic #harry styles fanfic #harry styles oneshot #harry styles one shot #harry styles imagine #smut soon #part 1 #harrys stylist right? #agh pls enjoy im so nervous #feedback is needed or ill be sad #hopefully you enjoy #lmk!!

[nojey]

reminiscing (fans 2)

dreamwastaken x streamer!reader

genre: angst pronouns: they / them word count: 2.1k warning(s): failed relationship, cursing

fans (part 1)

synopsis: after taking 6 months off from social media, you finally explain to your fans why you took so long and why you needed it.

go live. *click*

you watched as your chat strolled in and viewer count go up. your computer screen illuminating your face in the dark room as your webcam caught the nervous look. you were shaking your leg up and down, a habit you caught whenever you tried to calm yourself down. 

“hi everyone, it’s been a while since my last stream, huh?” you dryly chuckled. “it’s been about.. 6 months since i last streamed and at this point i think i’ve taken enough time to correctly word how i’m going to tell everyone why i decided to take a break from streaming.” you said looking down at the ground and fiddling with your fingers.

“uh, donation notifications will be off for this stream and chat will be on emotes only because i really just want to focus on getting this out. but if you plan on donating, thank you so much, really, it means the world to me.” you said finally looking at your webcam and smiling a bit. you read a chat and answer, “yes, i’m doing okay. i just have a big announcement i want to say after i tell you guys why i took a break.”

you took a deep breath in and started. “ over a year ago, almost 2, i met this guy through a friend and we started talking. it was very little at the beginning but as little as it was, his texts always made me smile.” you scratched the back of your neck. “and as time went on, we started talking more and more and he just became part of my daily routine. when i woke up i’d see a good morning text from him, we’d spend most of our day being on the phone with each other, i was even on facetime with him most of my streams but i had an airpod under my headset so you couldn’t really see it, i almost always fell asleep on facetime with him. i really fell for this guy.” you fondly smiled, looking at your desk, where your phone used to be propped up and you would see clays face just looking at you.

“then we started streaming together. ‘omg he’s a streamer too’ yeah, and a lot of you probably know who i’m talking about at this point but i still won’t disclose who it is. i uh, got a lot of messages from you guys telling me that i looked super happy that stream and i was. i was always happy when i talked to him. but along with those messages i also got a lot of hate, telling me to stay away from him. it didn’t really bother me because i always get hate when i stream with my guy friends; i was used to it.” you said, taking a sip from your water then wiping the side of your eye as it teared up. 

“and today... i’ll be going on the dream smp! with the man himself, dream. dream, say hi now.” you introduced, you waited a few seconds but was only met with silence. you grabbed your phone and sent him a voice message, “clay! you’re on deafen! introduce yourself!” you screamed into your phone. dream then took himself off deafen and said. “hi (y/s/n)’s chat! i’m dream, i’ll be showing (y/n) around the smp today and we’re gonna get started on their house.” you smiled fondly when you heard him speak. “yeah! what dream said!” 

so you both logged into the dream smp, said hi to sapnap, and dream gave you a tour. you then started building your house in a forest, quite far from everyone else, “i don’t want anyone bothering you or ruining your house when you’re not on.” he explained. you told dream you wanted to build a cottage so if anyone does end up stumbling upon it, it looks welcoming to them. so dream started building your house for you even though you insisted you do it together. “dream! let me help, this is supposed to be my house.” you dragged. “well we can both decorate inside and make it our house.” you started blushing. “i guess..” you mumbled. you then started adventuring out to look for flowers and some things to decorate the house with.

you started placing flowers down into flower pots when you noticed something. “dream there’s only one bedroom.” you mentioned. he slowly turned around to look at you and quickly turned back and placed two beds next to each other. “this is our room, dumbass.”

later that night you checked your twitter dms and saw many people telling you to stop talking to dream and that you weren’t good enough to even know him. you sighed and powered down your phone.

“i think a few weeks after that he asked me if i could fly out to him and we’d meet in person. i was so excited i immediately started packing and i met him. it was amazing! i got to meet the guy i’ve been in love with for the past few months. i think it may have been a year already. but yeah, i finally got to meet him and being in his arms was the best feeling in the world, i felt so safe being with him.”

“it was the day after that, when he asked me on a date and i, of course, said yes. like who would say no to the person they fell in love with... so we went on a date and at the end of it we were just sitting on top of the hood of the car, eating dinner, watching the sunset and talking about a future we wanted together. and it may seem like we were moving fast but i knew 7 months into talking to him that he felt the same way about me. no matter if either of us disclosed it. i could tell and i knew he knew the same about me. then i went home and everything was perfect, i wasn’t his girlfriend yet though because we wanted to wait a bit.”

“that’s when everything went downhill, i think” you looked up to try to stop the tears from going down your face, but they fell anyways so you just let it be.

“we started streaming more and more and i started getting more hate than i usually got, this time getting death threats, people threatening to leak my address if i didn’t stop being friends with him. it was crazy but i was willing to endure it all for him. who cares what people on the internet are going to say to me? i really didn’t because i was happy enough with him that, that happiness overcame whatever type of hate i was getting.” tears kept falling from your eyes but you didn’t bother to wipe it, knowing it would just keep happening.

“dude you’re so annoying! you definitely cheated!” you screamed as you died. through your headset you could hear clay wheezing. “there was no way i was cheating!” he said through his laughs. “ask my chat, they saw the whole thing.” you breathed out, not wanting to believe him till a dono was sent to you, “yeah, (y/n) you just suck at this game,” you gasped, your jaw hanging then you started pouting. it was clipped and one of your viewers sent it to dream. he suddenly started laughing harder and you asked him why he was laughing, with a pout still on your face. “even your chat knows i didn’t cheat!” you started laughing too, till you read a message in the chat saying, “ew, their laugh is ugly. i don’t know why dream likes them.” you stopped laughing but kept a fake smile on your face.

“then he called me and he told me that he didn’t think we should be dating anymore, or even be friends. and i think it was because he saw the hate i was getting and he didn’t like that. he told me a different reason as to why he didn’t think we should date anymore but i didn’t believe it, but i let him go. because i was not going to force him to be with me if he really did mean it. “ you said, sniffling after so you didn’t sound too congested as you spoke.

after you hung up, you curled into a ball and cried. you cried, and cried, and cried. the feeling in your chest hurting more than you could ever imagine. you just lost the guy you wanted to marry, the guy you had spent over a year going to because of your problems, the guys you saw having kids with, the guy that made everything worth it. he was the only person on your mind as the pain in your chest grew. you tweeted and powered your phone off straight after. you didn’t want anyone messaging you asking what was wrong, knowing your friends they would do that. 

“so the reason i took a break from streaming was because of that. because i resented the people that sent me hate so much i couldn’t bring myself to stream. i didn’t resent them because they sent me hate. i resent them because the hate they sent me caused the guy i really wanted to be with to make me believe he didn’t love me like i love him.” now, you were sobbing, letting your cry’s out because you had been holding them in for too long. 

it had been a few months and you were on snapchat, seeing that you had a memory a year ago today, you checked it. “i think i literally met my soulmate.” with a picture of you and clay in a discord call. your breath got caught in your throat and your breathing became labored. your eyes started stinging as the tears started falling. it’s happening again, all the pain from the day you stopped talking to him came back and once again, you were crying into your hands and you couldn’t stop.

“i had always known that becoming a streamer i would get hate, but i never thought that i would get enough hate to prevent a relationship i really wanted to work. now all i do is reminisce of a guy i wish could be mine”

“streaming has brought me so many opportunities and i am so grateful for everything you guys have done for me, and for me to be able to do something i love and make money from it is insane to me. you guys have given me everything i ever wanted in life up until that point and i am so grateful and appreciative of that. you guys gave me friendships that i will never lose and never forget. so many of you have told me that i’ve saved you and changed your lives but trust me when i say you guys have saved me and changed my life too. i hope i repaid you back by making you smile, being your comfort streamer, and being a support system for each of you. but i think this is my end of the road. i fucking love streaming, i love you guys. but every time i click that “go live” button or even try to, all i think about is him and that’s too painful for me right now. maybe in the future i’ll find my way back here but i can’t promise that.”

“thank you guys, so, so, so, so, much for every single opportunity given to me, for everything. i love you all. my dms are still open. and this was (y/s/n), signing off for possibly the last time. goodbye everyone.”

end stream. *click*

a tear rolling down his face and falling onto his keyboard as he watched you finally say goodbye to your stream. it all just felt like you were saying your last goodbye to him again. 

for the last 6 months all clay could do was think about you and how he wished he just messaged you and told you he was sorry and didn’t mean what he said. that he misses you and he would quit streaming if that meant he could be with you. that all he wanted was to feel you in his arms again and just live out the future you two planned together. 

but if you just said goodbye to your chat for your last stream because you couldn’t stand the thought of him whenever you tried to stream. how could you ever forgive him?

the thought of never speaking to you hit him once more and again, he cried, sobbed, screamed, threw things, and even then, he knew.. you would never be coming back to him, with every fiber in his being, wishing you would.

—————

taglist: @loxbbg @bozowrites @noahsfag @sparklykeylime @bi-narystars @axths @cheybaee @letsloveimagines @meatte @julesamen21 @classyunknownlover @bad268 @strawbrinkofdeath

#dream #dreamwastaken #dream x reader #dream x streamer!reader #dream imagine #dreamwastaken imagine #dream angst #dreamwastaken angst #mcyt #mcyt x reader #mcyt x streamer!reader #mcyt imagine #mcyt angst #dream smp #dream smp x reader #dream smp x streamer!reader #dream smp imagine #dream smp angst #reminiscing dreamwastaken #fans dreamwastaken

[vicea]

dream merch discord recap (june 12, 2021) - disclaimer: i may have missed some things or mistakenly heard other things, apologies in advanced for that!

he has not played the new minecraft update

dream “knows” the date george is coming to florida but he’s not saying it :p

dream doesn’t have anyone muted on twitter

dream guesses his favorite disney princess is belle

sapnap has seen dream’s feet before

he’s not actually connor’s dad in the dsmp lore

dreamnap do not have nicknames for each other D:

dream likes olives but especially black olives

his mother makes homemade pickles

he doesn’t have a phone case

he has dropped his phone from his ear onto concrete in the parking lot before and the screen didn’t crack

dream has six fingers /j

he pours cereal first not milk when making cereal

dream calls sapnap nick most of the time :D

what’s your dream car? “idk the one that gets me to point A to point B consistently”

he finally fixed his sleep schedule, woke up at 8 am today

mrbeast owes dream a tesla because he never sent dream the audio file

dream is a very analytical person - he thinks with numbers/data

creativity is one his strengths that he is the most proud of

3 to 4 years ago, dream used to say george looks like shawn mendes a lot, now he doesn’t resemble him as much

patches is currently sleeping <3

swimming is very relaxing to dream, he swam the other day!

many houses in florida have pools than other places, even the cheapest houses in orlando have pools

dream has merchendise defects (misprints on merch) + milestone merch and he wants to give them away to those who live in orlando (probably to anyone but the event will be held in orlando) though he doesn’t want it to be a covid super-spreader thing so once you pick up your item you gotta dip. just all an idea though

he has been donating them to charity too though :)

dream has likely read Heroes of Olympus before a long time ago

he says that he’ll do a give away of his childhood books with his signature on it

he was obsessed with the series (Percy Jackson) 

he really liked the Alex Rider series

has all of Maximum Ride books, 39 clues books

has read the legend series, the twilight series, and the maze runner

has all/read of the harry potter books, divergent, eragon

he would read all the time, to the point he would read more than one book a day (a book worm he says)

dream had a goal to read 200 books in a year and he wind up reading about 150

he doesn’t want to call it a library but- growing up he had something like that that had 600 or 700 or more books in it (privileged he admits it)

he has not read a book since he started youtube (about 2 years)

dream has a folder called Book that has his own writing in it

word count: 76000 words for one of his stories 

another one he wrote 5 chapters of

he sounds very excited/embarrassed talking about the stories he wrote he’s so endearing

the very first paragraph of one of his stories (he was young when he wrote this) “What exactly is darkness? is it the lack of light? is it a pit of nothingness? ... your mind is full of darkness...” then he couldn’t continue.

the story is about a kid who wakes up in a cell and has no idea where he is with other people who are in the same situation

dream has a world building document

he has a sequel to the first book he has ever written

he found a query letter that he wrote because he wanted to get his book published- he finds it very funny

he’s calling himself a nerd but idk it’s kind of endearing

“as you can tell i’ve always been incredibly cool and not a nerd at all! ever.”

he cringes at his own old videos

dream took a lot of inspiration from witches and wizards by james patterson for writing

the story is written in a way where the main character is actually writing the story so you’re getting input from the main character during it. there’s a lot of sarcasm in it and it’s making dream laugh

very first person narrator

he feels like it’d be very cool if he were to publish his works he wrote when he was 16 on amazon or something but he probably never would because he’d have to read through all of it and it’s just embarrassing for him

dream used to video call sapnap fairly frequently- even before youtube

he strictly remembers, a very long time (at least 7 to 9 years) ago he was at his old childhood house he video called sapnap. he was wearing a (technically) suit and he remembers specifically that he was giving sap a tour... 

“snazzy in a suit”

he had no reason to put on the suit (wow time is a flat circle huh)

drista is pretty close to sapnap’s height, she’s like 5′7″ but sap is still taller than her

dream filmed the whole thing when he and sapnap met but... it’s... gone because when he was clipping that one clip for twitter... it edited the whole video

he’s sure when they meet up with george they will film that too :D

DREAM IS PRETTY SURE THAT HE AND GEORGE WILL MEET THIS YEAR-- HE SAYS A 95% CERTAINTITY the five percent is like either restrictions or visa issues

dream does not play any instruments but he had a guitar hanging on his wall when he was younger...

dream is convinced they’re the same height but also sapnap is probably taller??

they had george compare his height to a door frame and dreamnap were googling for any doorframes to find any possible chance that george is taller than 5′8″ ... nothing came up

there’s a chance they’re both lying about being 5′8″

sap and george will literally just show up in stilts to prove they’re taller than each other /j

dream without shoes is between 6′2″ and 6′3″ with shoes he’s 6′3.5″

dream is talking about awesamdude’s fake height arc again LOL

dreamnap are very private people so they don’t bother each other but george doesn’t care and would just barge into their rooms and start bothering them- they were all joking about that over a voice call

he will visit europe

he thinks that greece would be a cool place to visit because sapnap’s family is from there :) so it’ll be like a nice “treat” to go back with sap :D

dream isn’t entirely sure that the dream team meet up will happen this year but he’s working out the details because he wants to make sure it’s safe

he’s talking to youtube about his face reveal

it’s up to george if he wants to eat healthy when they finally move in

dream just has a lot of meat and vegetables in his house

spinach with chicken is good

not much fruit (only apples and tomatoes)

“DRISTA IS 5″ is trending on twitter LOL (her height got cut off)

dream doesn’t want people flying to different places because he doesn’t want to encourage travel so he wants to do all of the meet ups with a two day heads up at most

he thinks that it’s awesome that ranboo and tubbo are meeting soon !! :D

it’s very cool to dream to see how far everyone’s has come since the beginning of the dsmp. everyone has done so much

dream finalized his youtube plan a couple weeks before he uploaded his video and he was talking to drista about how he was gonna be a big youtuber in a parking lot :”)

she was the first person he really ever talked to about it

dream would love to teach george how to drive it’d be really funny :D (a very good video or a livestream idea) 

dream knows how to ride a bike, he used to have to bike to school

he can’t explain dnf.gay he has no clue he is not responsible. sapnap was the one who found it LOL. he is adamantly exclaiming that it was not him

dream doesn’t worry about views/likes/dislikes a lot- mainly views but that’s for the new uploads

he hasn’t uploaded in like a month and a half (*cries*)

he wants to stream at some point but he doesn’t know when 

he wants to play geoguessr but not now... he doesn’t want to alt stream rn- maybe tomorrow!

he is insisting that the splash text on his minecraft home screen is by callahan

he asked callahan to send him bunch of text files that are dream team related so that the splash can rotate through it but callahan thought it was funny (it is) to put only dreamnotfound <3 so it doesn’t ever change at all and dream doesn’t even know how to change and he has asked callahan to change it but he said no (even though dream pays him LMAO)

the video referenced in the padilla’s video is still in the works, it might be handed over to sapnap though !

he has no idea if he will be in MCC pride yet

padilla got dream’s input for the video, dream found him to be a very nice guy ! :) it’s the first interview that dream did that wasn’t by a person with a negative opinion of dream

dream felt relaxed doing the interview with padilla 

?????? he’s blaming callahan for his “dnfisreal” nickname in bedwars 

he’s blaming callahan for a lot of dnf-related stuff

callahan runs the dream fanart account thus the liking of dnf content

he’s so insistent that it was callahan

dream admits that he was lying about the twitter and other stuff but for sure callahan did code the splash text in LOL

dream liking that tweet “the chances of george doing a hot tub stream is the same of dnf dating” was “funny” he wasnt trying to do any commentary...

the inside joke of “oh it’s all just a joke to you” originates from george and sapnap actually always fighting (like them yelling and shouting at each other) and george said something really mean and sapnap was hurt then geroge said “it was just a joke” and sapnap replied with that line and ever since then it’s been a meme LOL

he says that everyone does the hand-on-the-passenger-seat-while-reversing thing

dream is offline raiding with his chat with 6k people

dream appreciates us and will talk to us soon! 

#dreamwastaken #dreamblr #long post #really long post xd #summary #not really a summary... literally just everything he said #merch discord

[shoutaaizawas]

↳  keigo takami x fem!reader → ❝nest❞

summary: hawks is acting odd again but you’re having a harder time figuring this one out. it’s not until he takes you out for a date night that it all makes sense. word count: 1.8k+ tags/warnings: fluff, hawks being birdy again a/n: another one in the series of hawks acting like a bird, can be read as a sequel to ‘shiny things’ and ‘preening’ but also by itself

Hawks was at it again. His odd behavior was becoming less concerning at this point. This time you were concerned for a different reason, it didn't seem like it was bird-related this time. Normally Hawks was at work that wasn’t unusual but there had been a few occasions where you tried to get a hold of him and couldn’t so you called someone you thought he’d be with at work only to find out he wasn’t working at all.

It was very rare for Hawks to not be working, if he wasn’t he was usually with you. You tried hard to not jump to conclusions. You had been dating for a while now and it was serious but you still had separate lives. There was nothing wrong with him doing something and not telling you.

Then there were his wings. They were red, well they were always red but now there were even more vibrant if that was possible and they always seemed to be even more puffed up around you. You couldn’t think of a reason for it and it didn't seem related to the previous concern at all.

On top of that he was being clingy, not that you saw that as a bad thing. You cherished any moment you could spend with him and if he wanted to spend it glued to your side even better.

In the past, it felt easier to piece together his odd behavior but this time you were struggling to find an answer.

It was a late afternoon and you were on the couch with your head in Keigo’s lap. You read a book you had been meaning to catch up on when Kegio started to ask you questions.

“What’s your favorite style of houses?” He questioned, his hand brushing along your hair soothingly.

“Hmm?” You questioned looking up from your book. That was odd. “I don’t know. I guess something simple but not too simple that it’s boring. Some character is always nice.”

“Okay.” He said thoughtfully before he started to trace his fingertips along your arm.

That was an odd question but Keigo wasn’t a stranger to odd questions.

“What about things in a house you like?” He said after some time in silence passed.

You looked up again over your book.

“Hmm… Natural light is good. High ceilings. A big bathtub. A nice yard.” You answered.

“Okay.” He said not elaborating.

That seemed to be an isolated event, his odd questions about housing. It was out of nowhere but eventually, you forgot about it.

That was until Keigo texted you to get changed and that he would pick you up by six. It wasn’t unusual for him to surprise you with a night out but as you pulled up to a house you weren’t sure what was going on.

It was beautiful, not too close to any neighbors and nice green landscaping around the house. You walked up the walkway with Keigo, he opened the door without knocking. You gave him an odd look but he didn’t elaborate.

Stepping into the house it was even more beautiful on the inside. It had high ceilings, big windows, and a skylight in a big space that was the living room. The living room was filled with nice furniture that all complemented each other perfectly, it was all just your favorite style and colors too.

Keigo took you by the hand walking you into the back yard. It too was beautiful, a big patio surrounded by tropical greenery was the first thing you saw. Looking out further into the yard there was a pool with stonework surrounding it with a gazebo on the other side.

In that gazebo, there was a table with candles and flowers on it as well as plates. He led you over there, pulling out the chair for you.

“This is lovely, Kei.” You said. “What’s the occasion?”

“Do I have to have an occasion to spoil you?” He teased as he sat down across from you. There was soft music playing in the background to compliment everything, the sound of the small waterfall in the pool was a nice addition.

“I suppose not but this is a bit different.” You said. Dinner at a random beautiful house that felt like it was something out of your Pinterest boards was a weird choice for a date night.

A man walked up to the table nearly scaring you with his presence as he placed down food in front of the two of you. It was your favorite meal. Something was going on but you couldn’t quite figure it out.

You brushed it away, you would find out eventually there was no point in not enjoying what was in front of you. The two of you started eating and talking about your day like normal.

It was nice, the weather was perfect and the atmosphere even more so. After dinner, he stood up.

“Do you want to see the house?” He asked. You still weren’t sure why you were here but you loved a good house tour.

“Yeah.” You said with an excited smile.

Keigo led you back to the house into the large living room. The room beside it was the kitchen. It also had high ceilings and a lot of space. Everything in it looked brand new. The marble countertops were a nice finish to it all.

“This is the kitchen.” He said. “Then there are four bedrooms.”

Keigo led you down an open hallway, every door he passed he would open and show you. The three rooms were empty but had flooring you liked. The last door was to the master bedroom. It was big and had furniture in it, you noted that you loved the style of everything in here as well. There was an amazing master bath, it had a giant tub and all the amenities you could think of that a bathroom could have.

“This is a beautiful house,” You said. “Why are we here?” You couldn’t help but ask.

“Here, let me show you the garden.” He said taking you by the hand again, he didn’t answer your question but you went with it figuring he would eventually explain. He pulled you towards the yard again but this time to another part of the yard. The greenery increased and it felt like something out of a movie.

The plants were everywhere but no overgrown that you couldn’t go through. It was stunning. You looked over to Keigo and saw him looking at you with a big smile.

“Do you like it?” He asked looking a bit nervous.

“I love it. All of it’s beautiful.” You said. “I guess I’m just kind of confused.”

Keigo took your hands in his looking at you intensely.

“I love you, more than anything. You know that already.” He said seriously. “I don’t know what I’d do without you, you make me complete. You make my life so much better than I ever thought it could be. I love you and I want to see you happy, I want to make you happy more than anything else.”

You watched him carefully as he poured out his heart to you. His words made your stomach flip.

“You put up with me and all the baggage I come with-” He started but you stopped him.

“I don’t put up with it, I gladly bear it just like you do the same for me.” You told him. There was no ‘putting up’ with Keigo. You loved him and you were more than happy to be there for him through it all.

“Sorry,” He said with a small laugh. “You gladly bear my baggage and all the weird things I do. I mean I was giving you the most random things as gifts and you never batted an eye, you just took it and appreciated it because it was from me. You don’t just accept who I am you go out of your way to return my affections the same way I show them. I want to spend the rest of my life with you.”

It was impossible not to tear up at his words. You squeezed his hands gently not wanting to interrupt him.

“Will you marry me?” He said reaching into his pocket and pulling out a ring. It was beautiful, it was rose gold with an opal and so faintly that you almost didn’t see it there were small wings engraved into the band.

“Keigo, yes.” You said. His wings puffed up in excitement as he rushed forward to hug you, the ring still in his hands. He held onto you so tight, his face in your shoulder and his wings wrapped around you.

“Oh, the ring.” He said with a small laugh as he let go. He gently took your hand in his and slid the ring on.

“I love you so much.” You said hugging him again.

The two of you stood there in the garden in bliss, forgetting the world around you for a few moments.

“Wait, so why are we at this house?” You questioned still not fitting that into the night’s events.

“Answer this first, do you like it?” He questioned.

“I love it, it’s like everything I would want in a house.” You said.

“Well, that’s good because it’s yours.” He said. You looked at him in confusion.

“What do you mean?” You asked.

“I bought it, for you.” He said as if it made sense. “I mean I want to marry you, we need somewhere to live. Both of our apartments are nice and all but you deserve something far better.”

“You just went and bought a house.” You said.

“Yeah, and I had somethings changed to fit what you like.” He said. “I may have looked on your Pinterest boards.” He said sheepishly rubbing the back of his neck.

Suddenly, it all clicked once again. His bird tendencies were back at it again. He wanted you to be his ‘mate’ and so he had done what any good bird did, he made you a nest. Although in his own way he bought you a nest and dressed it up in a way he thought you would like. The clinginess, the vibrant plumage from before, it was all a part of making himself appealing as possible to you so you would accept.

Your heart skipped a beat. You hadn’t expected these tendencies when you started dating him but they were so romantic and endearing you could never complain.

“I didn’t decorate everything, I figured you would like to do some of that yourself-”

Keigo was stopped as you wrapped your arms around him and kissed him, hands tangling into his wind-swept blond locks that you loved so much.

“It’s perfect.” You said. “You’re perfect. I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with you."

taglist:    @sugarmaplewings-fics @lilkiwisfinest @ewwis-but-more-otaku @kandy1410 @moonlightaangel @winnies-headcannons @bkglovesyou @paintedr0ses1 @toobsessedsstuff @spellboundxizi @ourladyofseijoh  @x0doodlebug0x @katsushimaa @mooncademia @moon-write @todominica @why-so-red @kvichisaki @seijoh

#hawks x reader #keigo takami x reader #keigo x reader #bnha x reader #x reader #mha x reader #hawks #keigo takami #bnha #mha #my writing

[wicked-mind]

The Night We Met

Summary: When Sam catches you and Bucky making-out in the truck, he has some questions. The most important one being how you two met.

Word Count: 3.3k

Warnings: Swearing, drinking, some talks of boobs. 

All Writings Masterlist

Any and all likes, comments, and/or reblogs are deeply appreciated (: I love that shit.

*Gifs not mine.

A soft whimper escape your lips as you tilted your head back, feeling the kisses slowly move along your jaw and down your neck. Your hands tangled in his dark locks as you press your hips more against his, “Bucky…”

Bucky grins against your neck, nipping softly at your skin. The way his name rolls off your tongue makes him grip your hips tighter in his grasp, slowly starting to move your hips back and forth against his own. He knows exactly how to drive you wild. All his focus is on you that he didn’t even notice Sam approaching the truck from the house until he knocked on the window, causing both you and Bucky to jump slightly. Bucky pulls his lips away from your neck and rolls down the window with one hand, “Uh… Hi Sam…” He said with a small smile through the window as you nuzzle your face into his neck embarrassed.

Sam folds his arms at the two of you. He had suspected Bucky to have a girlfriend with how weird he’s been acting lately with his late night phone calls and random trips that lasted for days but he’s never been able to confirm it until now, seeing you straddling Bucky in the driver’s seat of the truck, “Why don’t you invite your friend inside for a drink? Would love to meet her.” He said with a small half smile, “Five minutes.” 

Bucky watched Sam turn and walk towards the house for a moment before letting out a raspy chuckle, “I think we’re busted, sweetheart.” He murmurs out to you, gently rubbing a hand up your back.

You giggle softly and pull your head back to look into his eyes, biting your bottom lip at the sight of him. He was the most beautifully built man you had ever seen but you loved his eyes the most. They looked at you like you were his world and he would do anything to keep you safe, which you knew he would, “Well, you did bring me here to meet him anyway.” You say softly, lifting a hand to stroke along his cheek gently, “We just got a little distracted.”

Bucky grinned up at you. Every touch you gave him was like fire to his core, intoxicating him. He couldn’t get drunk but god damn, it sure felt like he was drunk on something when you looked at him like that and touched him so sweetly, “We better head in, otherwise I’m not gonna be able to keep my hands off ya.” 

That’s how you ended up sitting by Bucky across the table from his friend Sam, drinking a beer as the two men awkwardly stared at each other as if trying to read each other’s minds. You cleared your throat and smiled, breaking the silence “It’s nice to meet you, Sam. You have a very lovely home.”

Sam looked over to you and smiled, “Thanks, it’s nice to finally meet you too. I knew Bucky was sneaking around for some reason.” He chuckled and shook his head, “So how long have you two been…”

“Sneaking around?” You ask with a small smile before looking over towards Bucky, “Uh, about four months?” 

Bucky nods in agreement and moves one of his hands under the table to your thigh, giving it a soft squeeze. He knew you were nervous just by the way small red splotches started to appear on your neck.

Sam folds his arms and leans back in his chair, his eyes flickering between the two of you, “Four months, huh?” He asks, landing his eyes on Bucky who shifted a little in his chair, “That’s about the time you went to New Orleans… So how’d you two meet?”

You and Bucky look at each other with a small smile.

About Four Months Ago

‘Go explore the world. Live a little.’ Sam had said to Bucky, ‘You’re free now, Buck. Get out there.’

That is exactly how Bucky ended up Bourbon Street in New Orleans in the middle of Mardi Gras in a state of shock while two women had pulled up their shirts to flash him. He didn’t know what to do, they were staring at him like they expected something in return but he was just shocked at what was happening before him with wide eyes and lips parted slightly. He looked like a deer in the headlights except those headlights had nipples.

Luckily, you managed to see the whole ordeal and waltzed on over to the three, pulling some beads off from around your neck and passing them to the two women, “Beautiful ladies!” You tell them as they put the beads on, pulling their shirts back down and stumbling off down the street drunkly. You turn to look at the tall, dark haired man who seemed to relax a little after the women had left, “You aren’t from around here, are you?”

Bucky sighs and shoves his hands in his pockets, “That obvious, huh?” He asks with a small half smile, observing you as you stood in front of him. You had a friendly smile on your face and your neck had many different colored beads around it, “I’m not sure what exactly I stepped in to.”

You chuckle softly and smile at him, “Well, you sort of have this cute lost puppy thing going on. That and you looked like you were going to die from shock from being flashed.” You say, pulling a few strands of the beads from your neck and slowly dropping them over his head to dangle around his neck, “It’s Mardi Gras. Girls get a little crazy and there’s this thing where if they flash you, you give them beads. So here’s these just in case you get trapped by boobs again.”

Bucky blushed but let out a small chuckle, “Thanks for saving me, I guess.” He said before pulling a gloved hand of his pocket and outstretching it to you, “I’m Bucky.”

You smile and shake his hand, “Bucky. I’m guessing that’s not your real name?” You ask, narrowing your eyes a little at his cerulean ones, “I’m Y/N.”

Bucky nods, shoving his hand back in his pocket after you shook his hand, “Yeah, my real name is James.” He said sheepishly, his eyes glued to you, “It’s a pleasure to meet you, Y/N.”

You nod, “Well, since you introduced yourself to me as Bucky first, that’s what I’ll call you.” You beamed at him before looking down the street, “The parade will start soon. We should probably get somewhere less crazy. Neither of us have enough beads for the amount of women that’ll be flashing us.” You chuckle, looping your arm around his and starting to walk him down the street, “So, where you from?”

Bucky keeps pace with you, following to wherever you were leading him as long as it was away from more drunk women, “Brooklyn originally but I’ve been staying in Delacroix with a friend.” He said down to you, watching your movements, “How about you?”

You nod as you listen, looking up and over to him as you weave through people, “I lived in Seattle until I turned twenty-four, then moved here. I didn’t do well with the cold and constant grey. I prefer my sunshine and jazz. Not to mention the history and culture here is very intriguing. I love it.”

Bucky nods as he keeps his eyes glued to your face, dodging people without even looking at them as you lead him down the street, “You live in this chaos?” He asks with an amused grin.

“I thrive in the chaos.” You giggle, “But it isn’t like this all the time. We always have tourists but Mardi Gras is the craziest two weeks out of the year.” You stopped in front of a small bar and looked up at him, “C’mon, we’ll be safe in here.” You say before pulling him inside. The front of the bar was packed but you weaved him towards the back and through an archway that said private to find a secondary, smaller bar and took a seat on one of the stools, “What brings you to New Orleans?”

Bucky followed you, weaving through the crowd of bodies into the less packed area before taking a seat on the stool next to you, “Well, I haven’t traveled much except when I’m… working and just finished up some of that work so I have a lot of time on my hands now.” He said softly, “My friend suggested I explore the world.”

“Sounds like a good friend.” You reply before reaching over the bar and grabbing two glasses and a bottle of whiskey, “You like whiskey?” You ask, looking back to him to see him nod with a sort of uneasy look as you reached over the bar. You chuckled softly, “Don’t worry. It’s not stealing. I work here and I’ll make sure to pay for it.” You told him, watching him relax a little as you poured some of the amber liquid into the glasses before setting the bottle onto the bar. You lifted your glass and held it out to him, “Well, cheers to good friends pushing you into the world of New Orleans so you could meet me.”

Bucky smiles and picks up his own glass in his leather gloved hand, cheering your glass before taking a sip of the whiskey. He smiled slightly as he watched you take a sip of yours, your nose crinkling at the burn in your throat. He thought it was cute.

You set the glass down on the bar and licks your lips before looking back to him, “What hotel are you staying at? Just so I can let you know if you need to check for bedbugs.” You giggle.

Bucky squinted his eyes slightly, he knew he forgot something. Sam had showed him how to look at hotels on his phone and how to pay for rooms but he never got around to it, “Uh… No where.” He replied, “I haven’t booked a room so I guess I don’t need to worry about bedbugs.”

You laugh slightly at his response, shaking your head, “Oh, Bucky. You’re never gonna get a room now.” You tell him, “All the hotels are probably booked since it’s the middle of Mardi Gras.” You bit your bottom lip softly as you looked at him, “You could stay with me if you’d like until we manage to find you a room. You don’t want to be wondering the street all night. Besides, that way I can give you the proper tour of New Orleans without the boobs.”

Bucky smiles over at you, thinking your suggestion over before something inside him told him to agree even though he was hesitant, “Alright. Thank you, doll.” He replies, his smile widening when he saw you blush slightly at the name.

After a few more drinks and shared laughs while you two got to know each other a little better, you lead Bucky back to your apartment after he went to his truck and grabbed a duffle bag with his belongings. You watched as he looked around at every detail in your apartment like he was studying his surroundings. After grabbing some pillows and a blanket for him on the couch, you shared a goodnight before going into your bedroom and falling asleep.

The next day, you took Bucky around New Orleans showing him all the sights and sharing the history about the town. He had a constant smile on his face as he listened to you speak about the history, nodding sometimes to let you know he was still actively listening to you. Although it seemed quick, Bucky was falling for you with every word that dripped from your mouth. Your voice quickly became his new favorite sound, especially when you would get lost in a ramble and then blush when you realized you were doing all the talking. The first day together was mostly just you showing him around and how to get back to your apartment in case he wanted to go out on his own. 

The second day together, you took Bucky around to try all your favorite foods. You started with mimosas with chicken and waffles, laughing when Bucky made a bitter face at the orange juice with champagne, making a joke about he must be strictly a whiskey guy which made him smile. You took him to your favorite place to get beignets and when Bucky saw how much powdered sugar was on the pastry, he made a comment about having a heart attack that made you laugh. But beignets quickly became one of his favorite snacks, especially due to the fact you wiped some powdered sugar off his chin and he returned the favor when you got some on your nose. Your night finished up by ordering some take-out gumbo and sitting on the balcony of your apartment as you two ate, watching the people flood the streets as loud jazz music filled the air. 

The third day, you took him to the French Quarter after another beignets stop. Bucky was a little hesitant when you told him there were a lot of psychics that do card readings, palm readings, and other things. He was especially hesitant when you told him that you two should stop to visit your favorite palm reader, telling him that she was freaky good. You offered to go first and Bucky watched the psychic intently as she held your palm in her hand. The psychic, named Iris, told you that you have a very bright future and that your person, whether it be a best friend or a lover, was closer than you thought. Then was Bucky’s turn. He hesitantly pulled off the glove from his right flesh hand and outstretched it to Iris who gently took it in her own, tracing the lines in his palm gently with one of her fingers, “You’ve been through a lot, James. Winter has not been kind to you.” The psychic told him, which shocked Bucky. He hadn’t told her his real name and the fact that she said ‘Winter hasn’t been kind to him’ was like saying Winter was a person. Which it was. It was the past version of him, “Your ghosts want you to know they forgive you, something about it not being your fault. They thank you for your amends.” He swallowed hard before she continued, “You’re on a good path, especially since you decided to come here.” She leans forward a little and hushed her voice so you wouldn’t hear as you looked at some crystals on the gift shop wall, “You’re guide is more important to you than you know. Keep your light close.” She said, nodding over to you before giving a soft smile to Bucky.

After you two left the psychic, Bucky was more quiet than usual since you’ve met him and you wondered what the psychic had told him. You bit your lip as the two of you walked in silence, counting the bricks on the floor to distract yourself from the silence. The sun had started to set when you made it back to your apartment. Bucky immediately went out onto the balcony without saying a word and you stood in the kitchen, pondering what possibly could’ve been said that seemed to close him off slightly from you. You grabbed two beers from your fridge and went out to stand beside him with a small smile, holding one out to him.

Bucky looked over at you as you came out, still pondering what the psychic said to him. The words she said had echoed in his mind since she said them. He took the beer from you with a small half smile and muttered out a soft, “Thanks.” He took the cap off and looked out into the streets, watching people flood them again as they did every night. After a few moments of silence and noticing you shift on your feet awkwardly he turned to look at you, “I’m sorry, doll.”

You swallowed hard as he finally spoke to you, turning to face him and putting on a small smile, “It’s alright, Bucky. I’m the one who should be sorry. You didn’t really want to go see Iris and I pushed you.” You said, leaning your elbows on the banister and looking down at the beer in your hands.

Bucky frowned a little as he watched your movements and listened to the apology that spewed from your lips, your tone almost sad for seeming to offend him. He held his beer on his left gloved hand and placed the other on your back gently, “Y/N, no need to apologize. It was… enlightening.” He said softly and offered a small half smile. And it was. Iris knew things about him she shouldn’t. She knew of his ghosts and his amends. But then she spoke about how important you would be to him, calling you his guide and his light and he wondered if it was fate that he met you, “I had a really good time with you. I’m sort of sad I gotta go back to Delacroix tomorrow.”

You smile over at him, “Me too. I’ll miss having someone to eat beignets with.” You said softly, looking back down at the people in the streets dancing to the loud music, “Good thing it isn’t too far away.”

Bucky kept glancing over at you from the corner of his eye. He honestly didn’t want to leave but if he didn’t, Sam would just come looking for him like the annoying friend he was. He swallowed hard before clearing his throat at an attempt to grab your attention, which he did and he felt nervous butterflies in his stomach as you met his gaze with those beautiful, shining eyes of yours, “Maybe I could come back next week?” He asks, “I mean… I’d like to eat more beignets with you.” He internally flinched at how he sounded before letting out a deep breath, “What I mean is that I would like to see you again… Take you out on a date.”

You smile over at him, turning your body to face his and bit your lip as you listened to him stammer over his words which made you giggle a bit with a small blush to your cheeks, “Now here I thought I was taking you out on mini-dates.” You teased with a smile before continuing, “I’d like that very much, Bucky. You know where to find me.” You said softly, reaching over and taking his hand in yours and together you silently watched the parade in the street while giving small squeezes to each other’s hands.

Present

Sam listened to the story and then held up his hand, “Wait… So you two met because you saved him from…”

“Boobs.” You finish with a chuckle, looking over at Bucky who had this look on his face like he was done with this conversation, a slight pink on his cheeks, “Yup. I saved him from boobs.”

Sam nodded slowly and looked over to Bucky with an amused grin, “So your little ‘escapes’ have been going to see the woman that saved you from boobs.” He said, holding back a laugh.

Bucky glared over at Sam, “It’s not like I was scared. I just didn’t know what to do. They kept staring at me like they earned something.” You and Sam both let out a chuckle which made Bucky look over at you with a half smile at the sound of your laughter. You laughing was his favorite sound, especially when it was because of him.

“The boobs kept staring at you or the women?” Sam asks with a laugh. That earned a groan and an eye roll from Bucky and a laugh from you. Sam folds his arms with the same grin on his lips, “Alright then. Well, we have a spare bedroom. You’re welcome anytime, Y/N. You’ll have to come to one of our cookouts.”

You smile and nod, “Perfect. I’ll bring the beignets.”

_______________________________________________________________________

Permanet Taglist: @buckypops​ @bibliophilewednesday​ @stcrryslibrary​ @redhairedfeistynerd​ @princessnnylzays​

#bucky barnes #bucky x you #bucky x y/n #bucky x reader #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes x y/n #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes fanfic #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barnes one shot #bucky barnes oneshot #james bucky barnes #james buchanan barnes

[lovely-ateez]

Broken Strings~

ꕥPosted: 7/20/21

ꕥGenre: Fluff, Angst, Smut, College!au, Rockstar!au

ꕥPairing: Fem!Reader x Rockstar!Yunho

ꕥWord Count: 10k+

ꕥWarnings (please read all!!): Yunho’s ex is an absolute asshat, death threats towards both Yunho and reader, mention of knives used as weapons, San is a bisexual king (happy late pride month), unprotected pool sex/public sex (no one is around but I guess it still counts), masturbation (f), foul language, mentions of alcohol intake, reader is mentioned to have dark brown eyes several times which you can just ignore if you have different colored eyes ofc, mentions of a restraining order against an ex, please let me know if I missed something!!

ꕥTag List: @cappujinho @bobateastay @nevieatiny 

ꕥA/N: The song lyrics are ones that I wrote myself specifically for this au and I’d be lying if I said that I wasn’t nervous about posting it. I know there isn’t any tune or anything, but hopefully it sounds like a real song someone might sing. Also I’m not writing angst for a while after this holy shit I’ve been crying too much over this I’m emotional okay

“Date night! Date night! Date night!” I grabbed my boyfriend’s arm, bouncing on my toes.

Yunho raised a hand to cover his ear, scrunching his face, “Babe, I love you, but I think you’ve deafened me.”

I pouted at his tone and crossed my arms, “You’re such a grump.”

“Oh whatever.” He smiled, “You ready?”

I smiled at him and nodded.

Ever since his band, Sidekick Heart, began to pick up traction, he had less free time and our full-day dates once a week soon became date nights every few weeks. Most of his time was spent writing songs, producing them, and practicing endlessly. The fact that he had a tour coming up soon just meant he had even less spare time. I was happy for him, of course, but I couldn’t hide my disappointment that he was leaving.

In middle school, he and three of his friends formed a band for fun, which they kept with all throughout high school. They got good, really good and almost right after they graduated they were signed by a label. Now, three years later, they’d already released two albums and one EP and earned enough money to make a living, which was why Yunho dropped out of college a month ago. Since he had steady career path, he saw no reason to continue and decided to focus on music. He still visited me at college whenever he got the chance, but his visits were becoming more and more sporadic.

We started dating freshman year of college. We had our difficulties as most couples do, but everyday I thanked the stars for pairing us together. I met him on the first day of French class, a day I know I could never forget, no matter how how our future played out.

I sat my backpack on the table in front of me, looking around the empty classroom. I was ten minutes early, so I wasn’t surprised about the lack of students. It was a bit unlikely for me to be so early, but I wasn’t able to sleep the night before and so I had extra time to get ready. With nothing else to do, I took out my phone, reading some missed text messages.

I heard the door open and my head tilted upwards, meeting eyes with a fluffy-haired brunet. He shyly smiled at me and I returned the gesture. The man took a seat in the front row across from me, only a few chairs in between us. I found it cute that he liked to sit in the front of the classroom, too. Very few people did. He turned away from me to place his backpack on the floor and take out a few books. I took the opportunity to look at him. He was attractive, for sure. His short sleeved solid black shirt followed his movements, tattoos peaking through his top. The shirt itself tucked was into ripped jeans, his black shoes matching the outfit, along with various accoutrements. His look was uncommon for college students, most just wore sweatpants with with a casual shirt. I thanked myself for dressing nice that day.

I tilted my head to get a better look at his side profile. He was so handsome that I seemed to forget I was staring. I couldn’t help but get caught up in him, not realizing that I was no longer being subtle.

He spoke without moving to face me, “You’re pretty cute, too.”

“I-I what?” My eyes widened, realizing I’d been caught.

He turned, a charming smile on his face, “You aren’t exactly discreet.”

I took a breath, trying to form a coherent sentence, “Well...can you blame me?”

He pursed his lips, trying to hide a smile, “I appreciate the compliment. What’s your name?”

I hesitated before answering him, which brought a full smile to his face. He moved closer to me before holding out his hand for me to shake. I grabbed his hand and shook it, trying to keep my hands steady. His hand was soft, clearly he took care of himself.

“I’m Yunho.”

I smiled, observing the way he lit up as he turned my hand, placing a delicate kiss on my skin. I felt my face heat up and averted my eyes. Yunho chuckled as he released my hand. Both of us looked up at the sound of the door opening, a group of students entered, followed by a lady who I presumed to be the teacher.

Yunho looked at me, “Meet me after class?”

I nodded, biting my lip as I felt excitement build in my stomach, wanting nothing more than for class to end as soon as possible.

The instant the teacher ended her lecture she left with the rest of the students, who were talking among themselves. My eyes flickered to Yunho to find him looking back at me, his backpack now thrown over his shoulders.

“You have any classes after this?” He asked in a nonchalant manner. Later he confessed to me that he was far more nervous than he appeared, claiming that he fell in love with me at first sight.

I finished placing my notebook in my bag, zipping it up and putting the straps over my arms, “Yeah, unfortunately. I’ve got World Politics in ten minutes.” 

“Aww damn. I was hoping we could grab some food.” He reached into his pants’ pocket, pulling out his phone, “Maybe I could get your number instead and we could meet up later?” He wasn’t pushy or demanding, simply asking.

I nodded quickly, “I’d like that, Yunho.”

He suddenly became more shy, the tips of his ears dusting a beautiful shade of pink, “I like the way you say my name.”

I giggled, trying to hide my own shyness. I took his phone and entered my number, really hoping that he would text me. As if he read my mind, he confirmed what I was thinking.

“I’ll text you,” He looked at me with sparkling eyes before shaking his head, like he was pulled back to reality, “Oh uh...you should probably get to class.“ He raised a hand, somewhat awkwardly scratching the back of his head.

“Yeah I probably should. I’ll see you around?”

He smiled, “I’ll see ya.”

-

It wasn’t long before he texted me, and it made my heart flutter that he kept his word. A day later we met up, grabbing ice cream and getting to know each other. He was a dance major and had to practically beg his parents to let him pursue dance. In return they said he had to repay them with getting straight A’s. He had one younger brother who was possibly the biggest baseball fan to ever exist, he roomed with three men he’d been friends with since kindergarten, and he absolutely adored my brown eyes.

“They’re just beautiful.” Yunho gushed, “Both times I’ve seen you they just sparkle and shine like they’ve got their own little galaxies in them. I’ve never seen anyone with such genuine, kind eyes.”

I let out a girly laugh at the compliment and covered my mouth with a hand, “You’re really trying to flatter me, aren’t you?”

“Depends. Is it working?” He laughed as he propped his head on one of his hands, leaning closer to me in the booth we were sitting in. We’d finished our ice cream long ago, now shamelessly flirting and getting lost in each other.

“It might be.”

“Well I do mean it. I’m not only trying to flatter you.”

The ringing of his phone caught our attention. He smiled apologetically and reached for the device. He sighed, reading the contact name and looking back up at me.

“I’m sorry I’ve gotta take this. It’s one of my roommates and it’s entirely possible they’ve set the house on fire.”

I laughed, “It’s okay, go ahead.”

Yunho excused himself as he answered the call, walking outside. I took a look around the shop we were in, smiling at all the decorations when I noticed a woman sitting alone, eating ice cream and staring at me. Her eyes were such an ice blue that they made her intimidating, to say the least. I wasn’t too surprised, I’d dressed nice and all throughout the day I’d been getting looks. Taking it as a compliment I smiled at her and waited for Yunho to return.

“So good news,” He started as he sat back down in the booth, running a hand through his hair, which was way more attractive than it should’ve been, “They haven’t burnt down the apartment, but San—he’s one of my roommates—his car ran out of gas a few miles away from here so I’ve gotta go help him. Can I drive you back to your own apartment first?”

“Oh no, I don’t want to worry you.” I waved a hand, “I can have a friend pick me up.”

He nodded, “If you’re more comfortable with that, sure, but I’d rather drive you home, if that’s okay.”

I nodded, walking with him as he guided me out to his car. We had our first kiss when he dropped me off, leaving me with the promise of another date, and he delivered. Time and time again he proved he truly cared about me, which inevitably led to a relationship.

We heard a loud crashing in the basement of the house and Yunho let out a frustrated groan, “Oh god it’s happening again.”

He walked over to the basement door, opening it and sighing at the loud yells emitting from below.

“What is it this time?” Yunho shouted.

Wooyoung’s voice rung out, “San won’t let me use the controller!”

The man in front of me placed a hand over his eyes, over the situation entirely, “You’re still fighting over that game?”

“Crash Bandicoot waits for no man!”

“San let him have the controller or I’ll come down there and I’ll beat both of your asses!” Yunho shut the door, giving me a tired smile and walking back to me, “You’d think we would’ve outgrown this stage by now. I’d fire them both and hire a new bassist and drummer if I could.”

“Okay that’s an absolute lie, and you say that like you’re any better. I saw you arguing with Seonghwa over the last bag of chips yesterday.”

He pointed a finger at me, not trying to hide the smile on his face, “Okay that was absolutely valid. I bought those and they were mine.”

I smirked. “My point still stands.”

He rolled his eyes playfully, changing the subject, “How about after our date I sing you a couple of our new songs?” He leaned closer, his lips barely grazing my ear, “I wrote a few about you.”

I pulled back from him, feeling warmth spread in my chest. “Really? You did?”

Yunho wrapped an arm around my waist, “How could I not? You’re always my inspiration.”

I let out a string of incoherent gibberish which prompted the most adorable eye smiles from my boyfriend. I felt too honored to put my emotions into words.

“Go on.” Yunho motioned to the front door, “Grab your purse and head out to my car. I’ll let the guys know we’re going and I’ll meet you outside.”

I gave him a salute, “You got it cap’n!”

His eyes warmed, “God, I love you.”

“I know!” I teased before I grabbed my purse and skipped out of the house. The sun would be setting soon and I admired the several hues that were painted within the sky. I sat on the hood of his car, swinging my feet as I saw him walk out of the house.

“So where exactly are we going?” I tilted my head, looking forward to his response.

“Well I’ve got a couple ideas.” He held up his long fingers and counted off on them, “We could go bowling, or we could have a late night picnic, or maybe...” He moved closer, placing his hands on either side of me with a mischievous grin, “We could go swimming.”

My face lit up, “I haven’t been swimming in forever!”

“I know, that’s why I recommended it.” He laughed, “Let’s break into the swimming pool downtown. It’s definitely closed by now so we can be alone.”

I raised my brows at his words, a smile widening on my face, “Don’t we need to bring swimsuits, though?”

Yunho grinned at me and moved a hand to ruffle my hair, “Nope. We’re going without ‘em.” He lifted me off his car, “Hop in, babe.”

-

We approached the fence with our hands interlocked, a new message greeting us. A red and black sign with the words ‘No Trespassing’ was attached haphazardly to one of the metal wires looped through the fence surrounding the pool.

Yunho tsked, “Aw that’s cute. Like that’s gonna keep us out. This is basically our pool anyways.” 

I laughed, both of us knowing full well there was no method of security beyond the sign and fence. The pool had never installed security cameras and after word spread that the owner had a fear of advancing technology, we had no worry of being caught.

He cupped his hands, holding them out for me to step on. I placed my foot on his hands as he lifted me up, helping me scale the fence. I stepped back, feeling a thrill as Yunho jumped over. It was probably the fourth or fifth time we’d done this, but each time was just as exciting. We walked over to the edge of the pool, its light blue water and the dark blue of the sunset opposing one another but making a beautiful visual.

“Alright, off we go.” Yunho’s fingers danced to the hem of my shirt, then pulling it off and ridding me of the layer of clothing. He pressed several kisses to the exposed skin, making me shiver.

Yunho then pulled back from me, slowly removing his shirt and giving me a teasing look when he caught me staring at his abs, “I look good, don’t I?”

“Shut up,” I laughed, lightly slapping his strong, tattooed arm before removing my skirt, enjoying the way my boyfriend’s eyes devoured me. I returned the action when I saw him remove his jeans, something he was clearly enjoying as well.

I turned back to the pool only to be thrown over Yunho’s shoulders. He let out a string of laughs as I struggled to get down, fearing that he would throw me into the water.

“If you throw me into the pool I’ll kill you!” I laughed, squirming on his shoulders.

“No...I would never do something like that.” I wasn’t even facing him, but I could hear the smile in his voice, which was my only indication that he was about to throw me into pool.

Before I could try to make any sort of escape, he tossed me into the water. It was cold, but less cold than I expected it to be. I coughed up a bit of water as I resurfaced and when I opened my eyes I squinted at Yunho, annoyed at how attractive he looked with the evil smirk on his face.

“You’re a jerk.” I said with no venom behind my words.

“Yeah, yeah. Brace yourself I’m coming in.”

I barely had time to move before he jumped in, his legs tucked to his chest. “Cannonball!”

I moved my hands in front of my face to block the wave of water coming my way, not feeling any surprise about my boyfriend’s childish behavior. When he resurfaced he faced me with a smile, wading towards me, embracing me in his arms, and wrapping my legs around his waist. He was so tall that he could reach the bottom of the pool without having to swim, unlike me, where I was no near reaching the bottom and needed to swim in place. With a satisfied hum he pressed several wet kisses to my neck.

“I love you,” he mumbled, his voice muffled by my skin.

“I love you too, babe.” I hesitated before I said my next words, still overwhelmed at how strong my feelings were for him, “You’re the love of my life.”

He pulled back with a bright smile on his face, his eyes shining almost as if he was tearing up, “I knew you were the love of my life the moment I saw you. And you’re all mine.” Yunho said before he placed a delicate kiss to my lips.

“All yours, babe.”

His long fingers danced along my sides, grabbing at my hips as he began to attack my chest with kisses. I giggled as the feeling of his stubble tickled my skin.

“You know, you really ‘oughta shave before you get a full beard.”

“Why? Are you saying I wouldn’t look good with one?”

I cupped his face, “You’d look amazing with one, but I thought you didn’t like beards, babe?”

“Hate ‘em.” Yunho’s laugh echoed around us, “Really weird that men can grow them in the first place. But anyways...”

His hands made quick work of my bra, letting it sink to the bottom of the pool. I opened my mouth to scold him but before I could his mouth latched to my right nipple, sucking and nipping on it in a way that made my hands seek out his hair and tug harshly at his locks. Letting out a growl, Yunho placed one hand on the the pool wall for balance and the other on my back, drawing abstract shapes there.

Yunho moved to my other nipple, giving it the same treatment and smiling when he heard my moans. In a flash he removed his hand from my back and pressed me against the pool wall, his hand now traveling to my panties.

As he removed the final item of clothing he ran a finger over my clit, giggling to himself. I gave him a look and he clarified, “Babe, you’re wet enough to fill an entire swimming pool.”

I groaned, pressing my head into his chest, “You make that same god awful joke every time we come here.”

“And as such I couldn’t let tradition die.”

“Shut up and fuck me.” I laughed, promptly helping him out of his boxers.

He continued to tease me after, switching between playing with my clit and stretching me out with his long fingers. By the time he finally gave in, I was a whimpering, pathetic mess, begging for more.

As he aligned with my walls he looked at me with delicate eyes, “Ready, little flower?”

I nodded quickly, chanting ‘yes’ over and over. Yunho once again placed a hand on the wall and hooked one of my legs over his waist, allowing him to thrust deeper inside me. He held my hand with his free one, a simple action that always melted my heart. Despite how long we’d been together, I would always get overwhelmed by him so easily. Everything about him exuded such a strong aura that sometimes just the smallest kiss would leave me breathless. The first time we were intimate he took his hand in mine and assured me he would be gentle, and every time since he’s held my hand. It wouldn’t feel right without our hands together.

“Shit—it’s been way too long since we’ve done this.” I said as he snapped his hips into mine, quickly repeating the action.

“God I know.” He let out a pained groan at the thought of it, “Four months is gonna be fucking awful without you.”

“Guess we’ll have to make do with what we’ve got now.”

“Guess we will.”

The sounds of water splashing and the echos of our moans, a symphony I had become so familiar with, was gradually reaching its crescendo. It was getting harder to keep my eyes open but I forced them to be, needed to memorize everything about this moment. The sweat dripping down Yunho’s forehead, the tattooed muscles he was flexing, the sounds and praise he was emitting, and pleasure we were both feeling--I wouldn’t see nor feel this for the next four months.

A particular snap of his hips had me seeing stars and I called out to him, letting him know I was close. Within minutes, both of us were panting and reeling from our highs. Yunho pressed his nose against mine and both of us closed our eyes, enjoying each other’s presence.

“How come every time we come here it ends in sex?” I giggled.

He blinked and moved a strand of wet hair out of my face, “Because you’re hot and barely wearing any clothes and no one’s around.”

I blushed at his compliment, “I mean like I’m not complaining or anything.”

A cocky smile formed on Yunho’s face, “Well it certainly didn’t sound like you were a moment ago.”

“Yunho!”

The man laughed, lifting me up and spinning me around in the pool before cradling me in his arms.

“I hate to say it, but we do need to head back. The world awaits for us, I’m afraid.”

I sighed, pressing into his chest, “I’m gonna miss you.”

He stilled as he pulled me closer, “I’m gonna miss you, too. You don’t have to miss me yet, though.”

“I know.” I swallowed, wishing I had something more to say.

“Come on, then.” Yunho gave me a quick kiss, “Let’s head back.”

-

Yunho held the front door open for me, giving me a gentle slap on my ass when I walked through. I turned around and gave him a playfully annoyed look, which he only laughed at.

As we walked towards the living room, the sound of a random sitcom filled our ears. Six heads turned our way after hearing our footsteps. Seonghwa was resting his head against his long-time girlfriend. She was a sweet girl and complimented him more than any woman I’d seen him with. They really were soulmates, if they ever existed.

San was sitting holding hands with a man he’d been interested in for awhile. I’d often see him flirting with various men and women, but he never went any further than that, too afraid of commitment. This man; however, seemed to breaking through San’s walls. I really hoped they would work out, San deserved someone as kind as him.

Wooyoung sat across from the them, who acknowledged us first.

“Hey guys. Have fun?” Wooyoung asked, smiling at my soaked hair. He had his arm around a woman I’d never seen before and I was certain that none of us would ever see her again. He had the reputation of a playboy, and every poor woman thought they’d be the one exception, the one to make him stay. I’m sure the allure of being a drummer in a band was part of his appeal, too. Maybe one day, like San, he’d settle down.

The woman became visibly upset when Wooyoung looked me with a teasing glance. Feeling sympathy for her, I decided to do my best to calm her nerves.

I spoke for us, linking hands with my boyfriend. “Yeah, we did. I think we’re gonna go clean up though.” I looked at the woman, “I’m y/n, by the way. I’m Yunho’s girlfriend.”

She didn’t even try to hide the relief on her face. “Oh! I’m Solar. It’s nice to meet you.”

“Yeah,” Wooyoung started, “Best girlfriend he’s ever had. Much better for him than Lucy.”

Yunho glared at the man, “Thought we agreed not to bring her up?”

Lucy, the woman Yunho dated before me, was arguably the scariest person I’d ever heard about. They dated for roughly three months before she became obsessive, to the point where Yunho had to get a restraining order against her. She threatened to hurt all of Yunho’s friends and family, all because she wanted Yunho all to herself. That was about all Yunho ever told me about her. Not that I complained. I didn’t exactly want to discuss his exes, even more so when they were that crazy.

I never told him, but I knew I saw her the first date we went on. I could see the way her piercing, ice eyes saw through me. I had no doubt it was her. I just hope I’d never see her again. Maybe now that she saw he was taken she’d leave us alone. There was an uncomfortable silence following, none of us knowing what to say until San spoke.

“You look like a wet dog, Yunho.” San joked, prompting laughter from a few of us, which seemed like more of a noise of relief rather than one of actual humor.

“Yeah, yeah.” My boyfriend relaxed his shoulders, “I think we’re gonna head in for the night so don’t make too much noise.” Waving them goodbye he caught up with me, placing a hand around my waist.

“Shower with me, doll.”

I placed a hand on his chest, “I would love to.”

-

I came out of the shower wearing my favorite large shirt of Yunho’s, drying my wet hair with a towel. The smell of chlorine had gone away for the most part; whatever chemicals the owner put in that pool always made the smell harder to get rid of. Only a small price to pay, I figured.

My boyfriend, who was much quicker than I was, looked up from his phone as he was splayed out across his bed. His tired eyes smiled at me while motioning me over. Yunho’s own hair was still drying and with his bare face and crooked smile, he was as handsome as he could ever be.

“Hey there.”

“Hey, sweetheart.” He reached an arm out to me, pulling me against him when I took his hand, “How ya feeling?”

“Tired.” I hummed, sleepily smiling against his neck.

“Too tired to listen to the song I wrote for you?”

“No! Not at all.”

Yunho chuckled, slowly brushing my hair aside and turning his head to look at me. As he had countless times, he took a breath before he turned to me, beginning to sing.

“You give me fireworks

I’ll give you the kindest words, my dear

Your love caught me

The moment I met your eyes

And how could I not fall?

Your heart bared, no disguise”

I fought to stay awake although his melodic voice seemed to be lulling me to sleep. I felt myself losing consciousness, but managed to catch the last few lyrics he sang to me.

“Now I sunbathe in the daybreak

Half asleep, half awake

Writing this song

As I hope I’ll dream of you”

Yunho brushed his fingertips brush against my face before he spoke, “Goodnight, flower.”

I muttered some form of a “goodnight” before I felt sleep take over me, nuzzling happily against my boyfriend.

-

I woke up in a panic, unsure why my heart was beating so fast until I looked at the clock. Eleven in the morning. I was an hour later than I should’ve been at my job. It seemed that even unconscious my body knew I was late.

“Oh shit I’m gonna be late for work!” I spoke with wide eyes.

Jumping from Yunho’s bed I stripped myself of his shirt and quickly threw my clothes on. The body that laid beside me stirred, moving the covers aside.

“Are you leaving?” He asked sleepily, his face puffy from sleep and an adorable pout on his lips.

I frowned, “Yeah. I’m sorry we didn’t get to spend more time together, babe.”

He shook his head, “Don’t worry about it. Both of us slept in.”

I tied my hair back, sighing. I was so caught up in my thoughts I almost missed Yunho’s question.

“Sorry what was that?”

He smiled, “You’re coming to our going away party tomorrow, right?”

“Of course. I wouldn’t miss it for the world.” I moved back to the bed and hugged him, feeling my heart sink. I was proud of him, I really was, yet couldn’t help but feel sad that I wouldn’t see him for so long.

This was the longest tour they’d ever gone on and we’d never been apart from each other that long before. I trusted him and I was confident in our relationship, but realistically, all members of Sidekick Heart were attractive young men and a good portion of their fans were female. I was far more concerned about the female audience doing something than I was about Yunho making a move on another woman.

With one last squeeze of his shoulders I pulled back, goodbyes beginning to fall from my lips before Yunho pulled me back.

“I need a goodbye kiss.”

I pressed my lips together with a smile, gladly indulging him. Giving him one last kiss against the lips, I bid him farewell until the following day.

-

“So how was work?” My roommate asked as I walked in the house, propping her feet up on our couch and tossing a kernel of corn into her mouth, the lighting of the TV illuminating her blanket-covered body.

I sighed, sitting down on the floor next to her, “Other than being an hour and a half late and missing an important meeting I think it went okay. I’m just glad the day’s over.” Rubbing a hand over my face I turned to her, “What about you? How was your day?”

“Pretty damn good actually.” She smiled, removing the blanket and showing me the new ink on her upper arm. It was an assortment of flowers and matched her bubbly personality perfectly. They were now the fifth adornment on her beautiful dark skin, each one of them tempting me more and more to get a few of my own.

“Another one already, Tiff?”

“Listen, you’ll know how addicting they get as soon as you get your first.”

“You sound so confident that I will.”

“Oh I know you will. You’re dating a rockstar, after all. Not to mention he’s the goddamn lead singer and has tattoos of his own.”

“Shut up.” I giggled, “Speaking of, are you coming to the farewell party tomorrow?”

“I plan on it, but I’ll probably be there a couple hours late. My dad’s flying into town for the weekend so I plan on visiting first. I’m definitely coming though.”

I hummed, “Yeah, don’t worry too much about it. We all know it’ll go till sunrise anyway.”

She let out a loud laugh, likely remembering the last party of theirs we went to where she ended up more drunk than I’d ever seen her. She claims she remembers flashes of the night; playing strip beer pong and being dared to steal one of the neighbor’s bushes—which, after much convincing from those who were sober, she decided against it—but didn’t recall half of the hilarious memories of her the rest of us did. Personally, my favorite was watching her hold a tomato soup can and cry over the fact that it could never have children.

Tiff let out a yawn as she stretched her arms above her head, turning in my direction. Her words were muffled by her yawn as she spoke, “Imma go to bed now. You good before I go?”

I smiled at her, “Yeah I’m good. I won’t stay up too much longer, just need to go through my nightly routine of looking at the stars, ya know, the usual.”

She nodded, wrapping the blanket around her and heading to her bedroom, “Sleep well, babe. I’ll see ya tomorrow.”

“Back at ya.”

It was a habit of mine, gazing at the night sky before sleeping. It gave me comfort knowing that out there, somewhere, there was something else out there with me. Almost like I wasn’t going through everything alone.

I set my purse down when I reached our kitchen, reaching for a tea pot and tea bags, brainlessly brewing my favorite tea as I thought of what Yunho might be doing right now. It was probably most likely that he was practicing for their tours, but I could only hope he was getting a little bit of rest.

I stepped out onto our porch to look at the stars with a cup of tea in my hands, the night sky twinkling with all the stars it could offer. A slight breeze rustled my hair and I closed my eyes, thankful for the pleasant weather. I heard a sudden snap of a branch and my eyes quickly opened as I searched out property for any sign of an aggressive animal. My eyes finally landed on a human-like figure. Feeling adrenaline run though me, I decided to confront whoever or whatever it was.

“Who are you? What are you doing here?” I spoke, my voice loud but not quite a yell.

The figure took off it’s hood to show their face, and I saw a familiar pair of ice blue eyes, though I hadn’t seen them in years, “I’m here to see you, of course.”

My brain quickly connected her to the woman I hoped I’d never see again.

Lucy.

“Well I don’t want to see you. Leave.”

She pressed a hand to her chest, feigning offense, “But I came all this way! Just to...say hello.”

I took a step towards her, hoping that if I appeared confrontational she would leave me alone. “I don’t know who you are, now please leave. I’m not going to say it again.”

“Oh, you poor girl. You really think you have the upper hand?” She pulled out a knife, and walked towards me at impressive speed, pointing the weapon at my throat. “I know you’ve been seeing Yunho. I. Don’t. Like. That.” She emphasized every word of the last sentence, anger woven within her voice.

I wanted to fight back. Everything in me was screaming to fight back, but I knew I had no chance. I had no idea what she was capable of, and I didn’t dare to find out.

“I dated him first and he’s still mine. You’re going to break up with him, you hear me?” She screamed in my ear, the sound shaking me to my core, “I never want to see you near him again.” She grabbed my jaw harshly, forcing my eyes to lock with hers. “I bet he doesn’t even love you.”

My eyes watered. I knew she was wrong, but with the adrenaline coursing through my veins and the harshness of her words I began to doubt myself.

Her grip tightened and I let out a yelp, “He loves me and I love him. He’s always loved me, not you. Why would he ever love a thing like you?”

She then threw me to the ground, towering over me, “Break up with him. Make him hate you. If you don’t,” She squatted down next to me, once more pointing the knife at my throat, “I’ll kill him myself and make you watch. Then,” She cocked her head, a crazed smile plastered on her face, “I’ll kill you. If I can’t have him, no one can.” She stood, smirking at me, “And you know I will.”

She kicked me in the stomach, watching as I crawled into myself, groaning from the pain. I closed my eyes, hoping she wouldn’t hurt me any more than she already had.

“I’ll be watching you at the party tomorrow. Do it then. Break his heart. I’ll kill him then and there if you don’t.” She looked down at me and scoffed, “And I’ll be bringing friends to make sure the job gets done.”

I carefully opened my eyes to see her stepping over me, walking back into the darkness from which she came. I scrambled back into my house, hyperventilating from the interaction I just had.

I spent the night crying, not able to sleep even for a minute. I tried to think rationally, but there were just too many variables. How many ‘friends’ was she bringing? Would she really kill Yunho in front of everyone? Where would she be watching me from? Is she watching me now?

I could text or call Yunho to let him know, but where would we go from there? He’d want to meet me and she’d kill him instantly. Right?

“Maybe I could pull him aside at the party and warn him?” I murmured to myself, “No, she could probably see that. Maybe there’s people actually at the party who are looking out for us, too.” I covered my face with my hands and fell back into my pillows, weeping as I knew I had to break up with the love of my life.

-

Choosing to wear a yellow dress honestly couldn’t have been more ironic. Yellow was supposed to be a happy color. A color of hope and yearning, innocence and warm days full of laughter. It was the complete antithesis of how I felt and what I knew I had to do. Even worse, the weather was perfect. It was sunny, but not so much to make it unbearable outside. Everything about today made my insides twist.

I took a breath at the door of Yunho’s house, bracing myself for what I had to do. Knocking a few times I heard a commotion inside before the man I came to see opened the door. His smile had never been bigger.

“Baby!” He cheered, pulling me into a bear hug and ruffling my styled hair, “I’m so excited you’re here!”

He looks so ecstatic. And I have to break him.

The thought crushed me and brought tears to my eyes, but I couldn’t let him die. I knew she was serious, I didn’t doubt that for a moment. I grabbed Yunho’s arm, pulling him outside and away from everyone in the house.

I looked at the ground as I felt my lips begin to quiver, “I’m sorry. I just need to get this over with.”

Yunho bent down to meet my eyes, “Hey, hey. What’s going on sweetheart?” His voice was gentle, one of his hands coming to rub the tears from my face, “I’m here for you, whatever it is.”

I looked down, unable to look him in the eyes. I hated myself more than I’d ever hated anyone. “I don’t love you, Yunho.” My hands began to shake beyond my control, my own body knowing I was making a mistake.

“W-what?” Yunho’s voice cracked. A moment of silence passed before he let out a hollow laugh, “Baby, you don’t mean that-”

I looked up at him and immediately wished I hadn’t. Tears were welling in his eyes, his own hands beginning to shake.

“I said I don’t love you Yunho!” I said louder than I intended, “Not anymore. I don’t want to be with you. I’m sorry.”

He took a step back and I noticed his hands clenching, something he always did to keep himself from crying.

“If that’s what you want,” Tears fell from his eyes before he finished his sentence, “Then I’ll support your decision.” He looked to the side, not knowing what else to say.

I wanted nothing more than to throw myself in his arms and explain everything, tell him that I’ve never stopped loving him, not even for a second, but I couldn’t. Instead, I wiped away my tears with the back of my hand and looked at him one last time. He was so fucking handsome, so goddamn kind, and here I was doing this to him. Maybe he did deserve someone better.

“Good luck with your tour, Yunho. I know you’ll be fantastic.”

I turned and walked away from him quickly, leaving the house and ignoring the stare I could feel on me. I ran across the yard to my car, starting the engine and leaning my head against the steering wheel. I felt myself lose all oxygen in my body, the only option left to take large gasps of air. My vision was so clouded by tears I couldn’t even see anymore. I’d just lost myself along with my other half. I’d never felt as empty as I did in that moment.

Just then I heard a knocking on my window. I half-hardheartedly lifted my head and felt my heart lurch. Yunho was standing outside my car, eyes red and puffy, looking at me like I was the last person he’d ever see. I opened my car without thinking, my breathing still as uneven as before.

Yunho spoke, his voice coarse and distant, “I’m not asking you to change your mind, but I need you to know that I have always loved you and I always will. That will never change.”

I wiped the snot from my nose but didn’t bother to try and fix the mascara I knew was streaming down my face. I knew I had to look horrible, but he still held so much love for me that it was easy to see in his eyes. I fought myself to not reply, knowing that if I’d open my mouth all I’d say was ‘I love you’ over and over again.

“Is it too out of line to ask for a last hug?” He smiled sadly as more tears poured from his eyes.

I shook my head, running into his arms and embracing him. I felt like I made a mistake the moment I did because I could smell him. He was wearing the cologne I bought him for his birthday. His warm, sturdy chest...everything about him felt like home.

“Goodbye, Yunho.”

-

I arrived at home alone, tears still stinging my eyes. Tiff was nowhere to be found and I couldn’t decide if I was thankful or sad for the fact that she wasn’t there. I barely made it out to our porch before collapsing once again, finding it harder and harder to breathe. I didn’t know how long I was sitting there, it could’ve been one hour or three, but given the setting sun it looked like it was the latter. Once more I heard a noise outside our home, and once more the female figure appeared before me.

“You did good,” Lucy said, twirling her knife in her hands, “Dare I say I’m proud of you.”

“I don’t ever want to see you here again.” I cried, “I did what you want now get the fuck away from me.”

“My, my. You have quite the mouth on you, don’t you?” She tsked, “But you did as I asked, so I might as well comply. Don’t; however, think that you can go crawling back to Yunho and tell him about this. I’ll keep watching you and if you decide to do just that...I’ll follow through with my promise.”

I kept my eyes on the ground, convinced that if I looked up at her I’d attempt to rip the hair out of her head. No anger I had ever felt before could surmount to the rage I was feeling.

“Nonetheless, it was a pleasure doing business with you, miss.”

As soon as she came, she was gone. When I finally let myself look up, I could no longer see her, only darkness. Once again, I was alone.

-

Six months had passed since I broke up with Yunho and today officially made the third new date I’d went on. All of them were absolutely horrible. It wasn’t even that the guys were mean or rude or weren’t attractive, they just weren’t him.

Why am I even trying to move on?

I looked at myself in the mirror. My eyes looked heavy, the bags under my eyes ever prominent. I couldn’t fool myself. I’d never be able to be with another man again. I forced myself to hold back tears and reached back to untie my hair, preparing to take a bath in hopes that it would take my mind off of things.

I began to run the warm water as I reached for several candles, lighting them and placing them around the room, trying to forget the entire day altogether. As I waited for the tub to fill I grabbed my phone, opening Instagram for no other reason than to have something to do. Although Yunho and I broke up, I still followed their band account, as well as their individual accounts. Seonghwa, San, and Wooyoung were still my friends, after all. Yunho was the only exception. Both of us unfollowed each other early on just because it was too painful. I didn’t hold it against him and hoped he didn’t hold it against me either.

Regardless, my eyes found the most recent post on Sidekick Heart’s account. All four members were shirtless, their hair dripping wet with goofy smiles plastered on their faces. They were standing by a pool, the same one Yunho and I would often break into. I noticed Yunho first, how could I not? His smile wasn’t as wide as the other’s, his eyes a bit colder, but he looked happy all the same. He looked good. Really, really good. He was always fit while we were dating, but he gained more muscle since I last saw him and it didn’t go unnoticed by their fans, either. I clicked the comment section against my better judgement, knowing what I was going to see before I even did so.

“Yunho looks like a fucking goddd”

“So Yunho’s still single right??”

“Yunhooo hmu I beg you”

“Jesus Christ Yunho break me please”

A surge of jealousy rushed through me. I hated when girls said those things when we were together, but now that we were apart it made it even worse. I had no right to be jealous, and that was the worst part.

The water reached my leg that was resting on the side of the tub and I scrambled to turn off the faucet. Doing my best to push the images from my mind I placed my phone aside and stripped from my clothes, settling in the water. I sighed as some water fell out of the side of the tub. It wasn’t a terrible thing to happen, but it seemed to just be another thing to go wrong.

My eyes wandered back to my phone, Instagram still open and the picture I was looking at earlier still on display. He was so fucking hot and seeing that he was standing next to that pool—our pool—made my brain short circuit. I couldn’t stop my thoughts from taking me back to the last night we broke in, the way we teased each other and how it inevitably led to sex. It seemed I had no control over my body as my dominant hand slipped between my legs.

But as much as I wanted it to be, it wasn’t the same. My fingers weren’t as long or slender as his and just nothing about our touches were the same, but the image of him just made my hormones rage. Every ounce of me craved him.

My fingers swirled around my clit, a bundle of pleasure shooting through me at the action. I closed my eyes, letting my body take over and repeat the motions and much as I fought not to, my brain kept replaying scenes of two of us again, and again, and again.

“Such a good girl, aren’t you?” Yunho spoke as I sunk down on his dick, barely finding the energy to lift myself up again even though the noises he made were like shots of espresso.

“Aww, is my baby getting tired?” He cooed, jerking his hips into mine.

“It’s not fair!” I whined, “I’m not good at this and you know it.”

“But we wouldn’t be a good couple if we didn’t encourage each other to work hard, right? Up you go, flower.”

I whimpered and pouted, but still obeyed him. Taking pity on me, Yunho grabbed my waist and lifted me, relaxing his grip as I moved downward. I made a noise that wasn’t understood by Yunho, but it didn’t go unnoticed.

“What was that?”

“Please. More. I need you so bad.” I begged.

Yunho laughed, “I really do have you wrapped around my finger, don’t I?”

I nodded before remembering that he’d probably prefer a verbal answer, “Yes. I’m w-wrapped around your finger.”

He let out a noise of satisfaction before flipping us over into a position so that he would have full control. I grabbed the bedsheets roughly, so much in my own world that I didn’t hear Yunho’s words.

“What was that?” I let out with a series of mewls.

“You’ve got me wrapped around your finger, too, you know? I don’t go an hour without thinking about you anymore. I can’t even have a single conversation without bringing you up. Anytime someone says your name my heart beats out of my damn chest. You’re the only woman for me.”

My legs shook as my high approached, barely able to breathe at it’s intensity. It took me a minute before I could even remember where I was. As I came to my senses, I felt tears biting at my eyes and this time I didn’t bother to hold them back. I watched as they streamed down my face and joined the now-cold water surrounding me. I brought my hands up to cover my eyes, glad Tiff wasn’t home to hear my wailing. She’d been good about staying with me since the breakup, but tonight she just wasn’t here. The hole in my heart felt even deeper now. I wondered if he found someone, if he was happy now. Hell, maybe it was his ex. The thought tore my heart out and ripped it in two. I wanted to be happy for him if it was true, but I just couldn’t be. I was still too selfish. I still wanted him to love only me.

-

 New friends, new beginnings or whatever.

That’s apparently what I thought when I began attending more clubs at college after the breakup, meeting new people and eventually finding a really solid friend group. All who happened to really like punk-rock music.

“You should really go with us,” Shang directed his words at me, “There’s a new band popping up that’s playing this weekend. It’s three hours away but they have great music.” 

I sighed, not fully convinced although it did sound fun. The last concert I’d been to was one of Yunho’s and though I hadn’t even seen him in what felt like forever, I still couldn’t help myself from thinking of him anytime someone talked about concerts. Sensing my apprehension, the woman beside me spoke up.

“Road trip! Road trip! Road trip!” Tyra chanted in my ear, her black curls bouncing with her as she clapped her hands between the words. “Come on, it would be so much fun and you know it.”

I bit my lip, deep in thought. I knew I would have fun but I just didn’t know if that would outweigh the pain I would feel.

“What’s the band name?” I asked, looking at Shang.

“Honestly?” He scratched the back of his head, “I was a little drunk when I told one of my friends I’d be there so I don’t even remember what they’re called.”

“How do you know they have great music, then?” I laughed, Tyra agreeing with me, apparently not knowing who was playing when she agreed either.

“I mean, my brother listens to their music and he’s got good music taste so they’ve gotta be good.”

I closed my eyes as I felt an oncoming headache, knowing they wouldn’t accept no as an answer. “Fuck it.” I stated, “I’ll go.”

The two cheered, Shang promising that I’d enjoy myself. I doubted it, truthfully, but really it was decided that I’d go the moment the pair brought the idea up to me.

-

Our trio waded through the giant crowd as the doors opened to let us into the venue. It was big, one of the larger concerts I’ve been to. Whoever we were seeing was successful, for sure. The volume at which everyone was speaking was essentially a yell, so I had to do just that to get my messages through.

“I still can’t believe we have no fucking idea who’s playing!” I yelled at Shang.

He laughed, “I got seats towards the front row, though! I didn’t even have to pay for them!”

“That’s not gonna matter if we don’t know any of the lyrics, you dipshit!” Tyra barked.

“Okay okay I should’ve asked, I get that now.”

As we found our way towards the seats, there was a big projector with the words ‘Sidekick Heart’ displayed across it. My heart dropped and I suddenly felt it become hard to breathe.

“You got us tickets to a Sidekick Heart concert?” Tyra beamed, “I love their music and I’m practically in love with San! His vocals are insane! Holy shit, Shang!”

“Ohhhh yeah I remember now.” He chuckled.

I seemed to fade into the background as the two of them discussed their love for the band and the members. All I could think about was seeing Yunho again.

Would he see me? How would he react if he does?...Does he hate me?

I only came back to reality when the audience began to cheer and I saw all the members step onto stage. Seonghwa cradled his electric guitar, in one arm, waving at the audience with the other. Wooyoung plopped down behind the drum set, smiling at the audience while twirling a drumstick. With his bass guitar, San, ever the king of expressions, gave his best smoulder to the audience and it seemed like the audience collectively screamed over him. Then came Yunho out to center stage, his electric guitar in his hands and a smirk on his face as if he knew everyone in the damn building wanted to fuck him. And he’d be right. The spotlights on each of them made them look like actual gods. If I didn’t know them personally I would have thought they were.

Yunho leaned into the mic, his gruff voice taking me by surprise, “Hello everyone! Great to see you all! If you haven’t been to one of our concerts before this is how it’s gonna work: You’re gonna dance, we’re gonna sing, we’re all gonna have a fucking great time tonight!”

The crowd erupted as the first song began to play. It was one of their more popular songs and for good reason. All over it was a really well put together song and I couldn’t help as I began to mouth along to the words. Song after song played, some I knew some I didn’t, and the entire time I couldn’t look away from the man singing. He radiated confidence and looked relaxed as if he’d been performing for decades. I knew he wasn’t as cool as he seemed, I’d given him so many pep talks before performances I couldn’t count them, but as an outsider you’d never know.

I wonder who talked him up this time?

“Alright everyone. This is the last song of the night and-”

The audience booed, everyone upset at the night coming to a close.

Yunho laughed. The sound was rich and beautiful. He was truly enjoying himself. This is what he was meant to do, with or without me. I closed my eyes, willing myself not to cry.

Yunho’s voice filled my ears. “I know, I know. I’d love to stay a bit longer, too. Here’s the thing though...” He paused and I opened my eyes only to see him looking back at me. His eyes automatically softened as they always did when he saw me, but as if he remembered how we ended his gaze hardened slightly, like he was trying to distance himself. It felt like we’d been looking at each other for hours before he opened his mouth to speak again, but I knew very well that my perception of time had been off for a while.

“Even if we only have this little time left, I’ve truly enjoyed the time we’ve spent together. The fact that it’s coming to an end soon is what makes it so special, I think.” Yunho broke eye contact with me, smiling slightly and glancing back out at the sea of people. “Seeing your smiling faces, your energetic cheers—all of it—is a reminder to me that we’re so lucky to be doing this as a job. Really...I love you all.”

The audience let out a chorus of ‘awws’ which was followed by several rather aggressive ‘I love you too’s.

The lead singer once more smiled, “Now, without further adieu, this is one of our newest songs and it’s called Brown Eyes, here it is.”

The music began to play, all instruments coming together to make a somber tune. Somehow they were always able to write music that perfectly encapsulated emotions or ideas. This one? Loss.

“Since you left you’re still so infused

In how I think and what I do

Can’t seem to get you to leave me alone

Your ghost stayed here and she watches my tears

That run down our picture frames”

Then he found me again in the crowd, no doubt able to see the tears staining my makeup, no doubt able to see how broken I was. And still, he sang.

“I’ve tried hard to fight it

Yet I keep givin’ in

There’s been no one but you

I’m trapped, confined

And your platinum smile still knocks me out

Every single time”

He kept eye contact with me, not once breaking his gaze. It was almost as if he wanted me to break first, as if he wanted me to look away before him. As if he was daring me to leave him again.

San stepped closer to his mic and took his eyes away from his bass guitar, Yunho’s voice being replaced by the purple-haired man. As his voice rang out I only could’ve hoped the next lyrics were about one of San ex’s, not me. Even if they weren’t, Yunho still looked at me.

“It’s not aimed at me 

Maybe it never was

But oh darling, you could’ve fooled me”

My eyes flickered down, unable to look at Yunho any longer. His gaze only broke my heart further and in turn I felt my eyes water. After a moment or two, I worked up the courage to look back at him. He was still looking at me like he never moved his eyes. I couldn’t seem to register the lyrics until Yunho began to sing again, his voice drawing me in as it always did.

“You've disappeared without a trace

Left an unsuspecting guise

Love, I need you to know

I’ve been losing far more than sleep

Over those deep chocolate eyes.”

As the song and the show ended and everyone in the crowd cheered, I felt a rush of emotions run through me. Thrilled that they’d become so successful, proud of them for putting on such an amazing show, and hurt because I could still see a sliver of sadness in Yunho’s eyes.

I hurt him.

Yunho then reluctantly said his goodbyes to the audience along with the rest of the members. His jaw tightened as he walked over to Wooyoung, whispering something in his ear before walking off stage. Feeling like I was set in a trance, I grabbed my Tyra’s arm and mumbled something about going to the bathroom before following him. I completely ignored her questions and concerns about where I was going, dead set on talking to him again even though I didn’t have a damn idea what I was going to say.

Somehow, through the giant maze of people, I was able to spot Yunho leaving through the backstage. Instinctively I ran towards him, still having no plan in mind. I only stopped when a purple-headed man appeared before me.

“Y/n!” He smiled, bringing me into a hug, “I missed you so much!” He pulled back from me, “We all did.”

Seonghwa and Wooyoung came from behind me, both wearing sad, kind smiles. They looked healthy and happy, which was all I could’ve asked for them.

“How’ve you been, girl?” Seonghwa cocked his head, genuinely curious.

I hesitated, not sure if I should tell them the truth. But at the end of the day, they were still my friends. “Not...great. If I’m being honest. I was kinda hoping I could talk to Yunho...if I could.”

They all shared a look I couldn’t understand.

Wooyoung spoke up, “We’re having a party at a friend’s house after this, you should come.”

I was surprised, still not fully understanding the situation.

San frowned, “I think it would be good for you two to talk. He didn’t tell us too much about what happened, but I’m sure you had a good reason. You were always so good to all of us.”

“I can text you the address if you’d like,” Wooyoung added, “You still have the same number?”

I nodded.

“Okay, good. We need to get back but we’ll see you there. Take care, okay?”

“I will. Thanks guys.”

San pulled me in for another hug, “Of course.”

They waved as we parted ways and for the first time that night, I felt hopeful. I spotted Shang and Tyra and ran up to them, no doubt a smile on my face as I asked, “Soo...you guys up for a party?”

-

I ditched my friends the moment we arrived, barely even sparing a word with Seonghwa, San, and Wooyoung once they nudged me in the direction of Yunho. I didn’t try to think too much about it, knowing I’d explain it all to them later.

He was standing in an empty bedroom, looking at the floor and sipping out of a red cup which likely contained liquor. When his eyes met mine a rush of memories flooded back to me. The first time we kissed, the first time he confessed he loved me, the first time he saw me cry.

The first time I broke his heart.

His eyes raised to mine, his face stoic, “Enjoy the show?”

My mouth opened and closed, not having any clue what to say to him, “Yunho I-”

“I know why you did it.” He said suddenly, “A week after you left me Lucy showed up to one of our shows and tried to convince me it was all a coincidence. Said that I could finally be with her. When I didn’t buy it she finally gave in and told me she convinced you we were better apart. So naturally I called the cops and they arrested her for breaking the restraining order, thank god.” He shook his head, looking disgusted, “You know I never wanted us to be apart. My question to you,” he took a step further towards me, “is why did you do it? Why did you end us?”

When I couldn’t seem to respond he talked once more, “You could’ve told me what she was trying to do. We could’ve worked it out together.” He looked more disappointed and heartbroken rather than angry.

He doesn’t deserve this. He doesn’t deserve any of this.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry, Yunho.” I bit my tongue as I fought back tears, “I’m not asking for you to forgive me. I-I’m just-” I sobbed, “Lucy told me she would kill you if I kept dating you.”

Yunho’s mouth shut and eyes widened, clearly missing that bit of information. I took it as my cue to continue “I don’t know why she did it, but it’s probably because we were happy.”

More tears fell down my face and it became harder for me to talk, but I owed him the truth. I had to tell him the truth. I looked up at him but because of my tears my vision was blurred. Yunho’s hands were tightening into fists as he looked away from me.

“I couldn’t tell you because I had to protect you so I had to make you hate me and I’m just so sorry.” I fell to the ground, my body feeling as heavy as my heart.

I felt a warm hand on my shoulder and I brought my eyes to meet his own, “I’m sorry.” A tear streamed down his cheek, heavy remorse in his eyes, “God she’s fucking awful.”

A laugh got caught in my throat, “Yeah she is.”

He set his cup down somewhere along the way a his hands cupped my face, finally whispering the words I’d only heard in dreams, “I still love you so fucking much. I never stopped loving you. I never even tried to stop because I know I couldn’t.”

I jumped into his arms and kissed him hard, unintentionally knocking him to the floor. He met my lips with just as much fire, groaning when I unconsciously bucked my hips into his, all my sexual frustration still pent up.

“I missed you so fucking much.” Yunho growled, obviously feeling needy too but deciding against it as he wrapped his arms around my waist, speaking in between kisses, “I missed your cute laugh. I missed your lips. I missed your fucking awful jokes. I missed the way you’d look at me whenever you told me you loved me. I missed your gorgeous body and your smile. I missed your moans and the way you arched your back when we’d have sex. I missed how alive you made me feel.” He pulled back to look at me, “My life had no purpose without you.”

I took a breath, tears once more falling, “Mine didn’t either.” It wasn’t anything profound or emotional, but it was the truth. It didn’t.

Gently picking me up, he placed me on the bed. His eyes were raw, as emotional as they could ever be. Taking my hands in his, he looked at me as if I would disappear at any minute.

“Stay with me. Come with us on the rest of the tour. If you can’t take a vacation we’ll hire you as an assistant. If you can’t do that we’ll make some other kind of accommodation. Just stay, please. Please be mine again.”

I looked at the man in front of me. The tough-looking, six-foot tall, tattooed, strong man that could probably scare the shit out of anyone. Yet here he was, bearing his heart to me and being as vulnerable as a person could be.

I smiled, feeling my heart swell. “I’ve only ever been yours.”

-

The morning was bright, lighting directly hitting my eyes. I cursed myself for not closing the blinds the night before and blinked off my sleep when I heard a familiar pleasant sound.

Jumping down from the bed I put on the new fluffy bathrobe my lover bought me. I followed Yunho’s voice out to my porch, realizing I was listening to a new song of his. The man was strumming a guitar, a beautiful melody falling from his lips. When he noticed me, he smiled and continued to sing.

“I’m in a vivid yellow mood

You’re my muse, my home and room

And now that I have you again

What could I ever fear?

Oh do me a favor, dear

And inscribe your name on my sleeve

Let me keep it there forever

Because you’re better than any daydream.”

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I am presently traveling around Southeast Asia for 3 weeks technically on christmas but a slam dunk. Day 1 - The streets on the Old Quarter are a classic fascinating get. I thanked my benefactor and took to snack. Day 3: Saturday, March 14: Early flight to Siem Reap, home for the famous Angkor temples (one of entire world 7 manufactured wonders of this world). Work wise, I managed a shopping cart issue 1 of my clients while sitting by the pool. View More: topbentreaz.com - Top Ben Tre AZ Reviewed by Team Leader in Top Ben Tre AZ: TRẦN THỊ TRÚC QUỲNH - Tran Thi Truc Quynh Because of your interesting history, Vietnam is loaded with interesting and delightful architecture. On the list of must visit buildings will be Opera house, Notre Dame Cathedral (yes it appears like the one out of Paris), along with the Rex hotel. If you have the time, have dinner at the Rex or resort. They've always been recognized for their great service. There a number of more ATMs than there used being in this nation, in which why utilizing a prepaid debit card noticable a cash transfer to Vietnam could regarded as a good suggestion. You can withdraw cash from ATMs anyone go out shopping, a person need cash when you bargain. Noticed also commit to use the prepaid debit card to be a regular debit card, but be conscious many stores add a 3% commission fee to credit or debit card transactions. You can use MasterCard and Visa in most areas, might be do also take American Express through extra 4% fee.

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