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thetravelerwrites · 3 years

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Heat (Part 1)

Rating: Explicit Relationships: Female Tabaxi/Male Human/Fem-Intersex Tiefling Additional Tags: Exophilia, Babies, Mention of Pregnancy, Children, Kids, Tabaxi, Tiefling, Intersex, Pregnancy, Fatherhood, In Heat, Mating Cycles, Contraceptive Words: 4311

Rings goes into an intense heat and decides to isolate herself to prevent conceiving a child, whereas Ebert goes on a quest to find rare components to create a stronger contraceptive for her. Commissioned by @ocsmutpocalypse!

Rings had been acting weird. More weird than normal. And her normal weirdness was… pretty weird, by anyone’s standards. She spent a lot of time camping in the woods and snapped at anyone who came near her, including Ebert, Reverence, and her sister. Buttons couldn’t be in the same room as Rings, hissing and spitting at her before scrabbling for the door in a frothing rage.

Ebert hadn’t realized the change in her behavior at first, since Ethrik was a year and a half old, and Ebert’s second child had just been born a few months before, which took up all his attention. The child was like Reverence in that they were between genders and were not old enough to decide which gender they most identified with. Ebert and Reverence decided to name them Evo, short for “evolving,” and figured that they could change their name when they were old enough to choose.

So it was a few days before Ebert noticed her odd behavior and pointed it out to Reverence.

“Ah,” Reverence said, breastfeeding Evo. “Maybe she’s in heat.”

“Heat?” Ebert said, confused. “She’s never gone into heat before.”

“Well, not since you’ve been here, but that’s only been two years. It’s happened twice before, and they were random. Her sister says that Rings normally takes some sort of suppressant which works well enough typically, but every once in a while, the urge gets too strong and her body rebels against her.”

“Huh,” Ebert said. “Well, she takes the birth control medicine that I make, so she should be alright, right?”

Reverence shook her head, patting Evo’s bottom as they suckled. “Biological imperative in her species can be pretty strong, and no birth control is 100% effective. Rings hates the idea of having children more than anything, so the possibility that she might conceive is something she simply cannot tolerate. It’s why she normally secluded herself during her heats. Which is unfortunate for her. The last one was two months long. She came back in very poor shape; it took weeks for her to recover.”

Ebert frowned. “That’s disconcerting. Can nothing be done to help her?”

“According to Spring, if she copulates, the heat passes in a matter of days, but Rings won’t risk it. The idea of motherhood repulses her.”

“I know that all too well,” Ebert said. “I’m going to go to the cottage and see if I can work on something for her. I don’t like the idea of her being isolated for two months, especially since winter is coming soon.”

Reverence nodded and kissed him goodbye, and Ebert trekked into the woods and to the cottage where he did is magical work. As he was walking up, he heard glass break inside the cottage.

Taking out a short sword he’d been given and preparing a fireball, he called out, “Declare yourself!”

“Fuck off!” He heard in response, Rings’ annoyed voice loud enough to rattle the windows in the frame.

“Rings?” He said, dropping his sword and letting the fireball spell fizzle out in disbelief. “What the hell are you doing in there? What did you break?”

“Who cares? Go away!”

“I need my workspace!” Ebert said, putting the key in the door, but it refused to open. He had a feeling Rings was sitting in front of the door. “Reverence told me you’re in heat! I’m going to try and make a new contraceptive for you!”

“What do you know?” Rings yelled, banging against the door as he pushed on it. “Go ask Cassandra! She knows more about herbs and medicine than you do, you quack!”

Ebert grimaced, but he knew she wasn’t wrong. Cassandra was an aasimar and alumnus from his old academy, one who actually graduated and hadn’t committed a crime against nature, like he had. She and her lover had settled in the village less than a month previous.

Her specialty was prophecy and soothsaying, but she was also well versed in magical medicine and herbalism. Ebert was a good physician, but he wasn’t much of an apothecary He’d deferred to her expertise on several occasions, including the production of the original contraceptive. He was lucky she was more interested in working as a fortune teller and not as a medicine maker, or she could have taken half his business, if she’d had a mind to it.

“Yeah, I love you, too!” Ebert retorted, stalking off.

Cassandra lived with her lover, a minotaur named Bigby, near the temple and she did a lot of her business with the visitors. Getting your fortune told right outside of the temple was lucrative for both parties, so Reverence had allowed it as long as Cassandra agreed to support the temple and donate a small percentage of her earnings to the temple every month. Despite being a holy woman who lived a modest life in a small, two room house, Reverence was remarkably business savvy at times.

On the other hand, Bigby loved kids, and he often babysat for the villagers when they made their trips to the temple for a small fee. It was a good way to earn himself income and keep the littler tots out of trouble while their parents did their worshiping, so everyone got something out of the deal.

Cassandra was sitting at a booth that she had set up at the feet of Fysy’s statue outside of the temple. She was in the process of giving a reading to a parishioner, so Ebert waited awkwardly a small distance away for her to finish before approaching.

“Hello, necromancer,” Cassandra said pleasantly, her dark skin shining like bronze in the sunlight. “I’ve been waiting for you to come and see me. You certainly take your sweet time. I was wondering if I’d have to come and seek you out instead.”

“Yes, well,” Ebert said. “Rings is in heat.”

“I know,” She said, smugly magnanimous. “You’ve come to get medicinal advice, yes?”

“I suppose so,” Ebert admitted. “Rings and Reverence implied that the current contraceptive recipe will not be enough to override her body’s biological imperative. I need something stronger.”

“The recipe you have is pretty strong,” Cassandra said. “It would work for most mortal beings. Though, I will admit that Tabaxi bodies are very hardy and can expel most poisons with no effect to themselves. It’s no wonder that a normal recipe wouldn’t work for them.” She rubbed her chin. “There are a few herbs I know of that are effective. Bloodwort is one, and the bark of the red cedar is another. Bloodwort isn’t too hard to find, but red cedar isn’t native to this region. To find it, you’ll have to travel northwest for at least a week.” She stood up and came around the table, motioning to him to follow her. “Come.”

She led him to her home, where Bigby was chasing a passel of children around in the yard, pausing momentarily to raise a hand in greeting only to be set upon by many tiny hands, pushing him on his stomach and piling on.

“Here,” Cassandra said, pulling down a book. “This is a picture of the herbs I mentioned. When you find them, combine it with fennel seed, chasteberry, raspberry leaf, thistle, and red clover flowers. Boil on a low setting in clear water for at least three days, and add the decotion to a berry wine. Three tablespoons per day until the next cycle starts.”

Ebert pulled out his notebook and began to draw copies of each of the plants, writing down the recipe underneath the sketches.

“There’s an unusual symptom of this decotion, however,” Cassandra continued. “It doesn’t happen in humans, but in beastfolk, like tabaxis, it can cause an increase in sex drive. It’s still effective as a contraceptive in beastfolk, but it forces them to experience the worst of the heat in order to surpass it. I’d advise you to discuss it with Rings before making the trip. She may not appreciate the side effects.”

“I’ll do that,” Ebert said. “Although… Rings is usually my partner on these types of trips… I can’t imagine--”

“Going alone?” Cassandra said, finishing his sentence. “Then don’t. Certainly, Rings is a capable woman, but she’s not the only one. Her sister is also quite capable, and she would understand the urgency, especially considering she’s gone through a heat herself.”

“That’s true,” Ebert said. “I’ll ask Rings. Thanks, Cass.”

“It’s no trouble,” Cassandra replied pleasantly. “Give the children a kiss for me.”

Ebert waved and set off back to the cabin.

“Rings,” He said once he returned. Rings was still sitting against the door and refused to let him inside. “I spoke to Cassandra. I have to take a trip to get the ingredients she told me about. I’ll be gone for a few weeks.”

“Okay,” She said. She sounded much more subdued than normal.

“Listen,” Ebert started, sitting awkwardly on the steps. “Cassandra said that the herbs have a strange side effect on beast people. It forces them to the peak of their heat and makes them more… needy. The heat passes faster, but… the urge to… procreate… gets stronger. Uncontrollable. I just wanted to be sure it’s something you’re willing to deal with.”

“I don’t know,” She said after a moment. “If that’s the case… Will you and Reverence shelter with me until it’s over? If I’m going to end up in the family way… I’d prefer it if the kid belonged to you or her. I trust the two of you more than anyone else. I know me; it’s just not in me to be a parent. I won’t care for the kid. But you two will. And that’s good enough for me.”

“We can do that,” Ebert said. “I’m sure Reverence would agree. I’ll discuss it with her before I leave, to be sure. I’m going to see if Spring will accompany me on this trip. She understands this better than me, after all.”

“That’ll be good,” Rings agreed. “She hasn’t been out of the village since we came here.” Ebert heard her laugh. “Make sure Flicker doesn’t get the wrong idea. Unless you’re planning on seducing Springs on the trip.”

“Gross. I’m not into sisters, thanks. And Flicker could rip me in half, so I’m not risking it.”

Flickering Flame was a Bengal tiger tabaxi soldier from a far off desert country and was in a relationship with Spring. He worked as a guard, protecting the village from hostile outsiders. Though Spring was monogamous and had chosen not to follow Fysy, Flicker was a disciple of Fysy and worshiped at the temple, an arrangement they had agreed on when they decided to become engaged.

“Yeah, that’s true. He would rip you in half. It would be funny,” Rings said, laughing in a subdued way.

“Are you okay?” Ebert asked in concern.

She sighed. “I’m anxious. I’m never anxious, and I hate it. And I’ve never had to worry about who I had sex with or when. I don’t feel like myself and I don’t like it.”

“We’re going to fix it,” Ebert said softly. “Even if I have to go alone. As fun as it is to see you squirm… I miss you. The real you.”

“I miss me, too,” She said. “When are you leaving?”

“As soon as I talk to Spring,” He replied. “Probably tomorrow morning. I don’t want to delay too long.”

“Reverence is okay with it?” She asked.

“I haven’t talked to her yet, but I don’t imagine she’d be opposed to it. She’s not exactly restrictive or controlling.”

“True. And she can’t leave the village. She hasn’t set foot outside of the town’s boundary since she became the priestess decades ago.”

“I keep meaning to ask her the story behind that, but I’ve never had the opportunity. I heard she came from some place far away. I wonder how she ended up here.”

“I’ve never heard the full story, either,” Rings said. “Let’s ask her when you get back. It seems the three of us will be spending several days together, after all.”

Ebert struggled to his feet and brushed off his trouser. “I’m going to get going. I want to make arrangements before sundown.”

“Hey.”

“What?”

A heartbeat of time passed before she said, in a very quiet voice. “Be safe, okay? Don’t get killed, or I’ll be very angry with you.”

“I’ll keep that in mind,” He said, chuckling.

“I’m serious,” She said, banging the door. “You’re useless without me.”

Ebert began to set off down the trail. “Don’t forget to eat.”

It didn’t take much to convince Spring to go with Ebert on his sojourn. She asked Bigby to look after Candle until she returned, and Bigby was happy to comply. Ebert also discussed having Bigby watch his tots when he returned and sheltered with Rings during her heat, and he was amiable.

Reverence was sympathetic to Ring’s plight and immediately agreed to help, offering to go to Rings at the cabin while Ebert was gone and satisfy her in ways that didn’t lead to children in the meantime. It wouldn’t be enough to end her heat, but it would keep her from losing her senses in the midst of an uncontrollable influx of hormones.

Spring met Ebert outside of her house the next morning wearing a practical traveling outfit with a sword strapped to her back.

“I wasn’t aware you owned a sword,” Ebert said, impressed.

“It’s Flicker’s,” She said. “I’m just borrowing it. I’m only glad he had one that suited a person my size. Of course, he calls it a letter opener.”

Ebert snorted. “You’re ready, then?”

“Yeah,” She replied, hitching up her pack. “We should follow the river until we hit open terrain. I’m familiar with the smell of red cedar, so finding it shouldn’t be as difficult as it would be without a tracker.”

“That’s definitely useful. Have you said farewell to Rings?”

“No, but I don’t think she’d welcome my company at the moment. I’ll greet her when we return.”

Fair enough. “Let’s head out.”

Traveling with Spring wasn’t as awkward or unpleasant as Ebert worried it could have been, especially considering the two of them weren’t necessarily close, despite his having lived in the village for several years by this point. The only time they really spoke was when he accompanied Rings or Reverence to dinner at Spring’s house.

He discovered that Spring was a good conversationalist and knew a lot about wilderness survival techniques, perhaps even more than Rings, which was reassuring, because Ebert knew fuck all about that.

Though she reminded Ebert of Rings in a number of ways, she was more even-keel and mellow-tempered than her sister. Whatever affection he might have developed for her during their trek, it definitely wasn’t attraction. More like a close friend or sibling, which actually relieved him. He hadn’t been close to any of his siblings, so having a familial relationship with someone was both unfamiliar and refreshing.

“The air is getting colder,” Spring said, pulling her scarf around her more tightly as they walked. “Another day, and we should be in the right area.”

“Great,” Ebert said in relief. “I hate camping.”

Spring snorted. “Yeah, I kinda figured. You do most of your grumbling right before bed.”

“I don’t mean to grumble,” He said, slightly embarrassed.

Spring laughed again. “You do it mostly under your breath, but I have good hearing.” Her feline ears flicked back and forth. “I honestly find it rather amusing. You remind me of Candle sometimes.”

“...thanks?”

“I just mean you like things a certain way. Candle is like that, too.” She hacked a branch out of her way. “Most children are.”

“Insinuating that I behave like a child?”

“I don’t mean it in a negative way. Rings is very similar. I think it’s just a side effect of not having a very good childhood. Rings hasn’t told me much about your childhood, but it’s easy enough to assume that it wasn’t a happy one, and you already know hers was terrible.”

“That’s true,” He admitted.

“We all need certain things when we’re children, chief among them is attention,” She said pensively. “Children grumble and gripe and make a fuss, and it seems irritating, but what they’re really asking for is attention. If you don’t get enough when you’re young, you grow up desperate for it. Rings acts out because she likes attention. I don’t think you necessarily want people to pay attention to you, but I think you do want people to listen. If you didn’t, I think you wouldn’t grumble out loud. People only make noise when they want someone to hear it, after all.”

“What are you, a philosopher?” Ebert laughed.

“Aren’t all mothers?” Spring replied, laughing herself.

The next day, as they were trekking near a treeline, Spring stopped and sniffed the air.

“I smell bloodroot,” She said. “It’s not far away. A few hundred meters, maybe.”

“Any whiff of red cedar yet?”

“No, but it likely won’t be long now. Bloodroot and red cedar are native to the same region.”

“Well, let’s collect as much as we can carry while we’re here. I don’t want to have to make another trip any time soon.”

They spent most of the afternoon plucking bloodroot plants, hoping there were seeds they could sow when they returned to the village. Another few hours travel before nightfall brought them to a grove with red cedar.

“Fucking finally,” Ebert sighed. “I was worried we’d have to travel another day to find this.”

“It is getting late, as it is,” Spring said, looking toward the setting sun. “It’d be best to set up camp now and harvest what we need in the morning.”

“Uuuugh,” Ebert groaned, throwing his head back dramatically, and Spring smiled at him in a fond, maternal sort of way.

Spring set about building a fire pit while Ebert looked for firewood from the nearby brush. He found valuable mushrooms and some lichen that would be useful as components and harvested those while he was at it, then returned to the clearing where they’d made camp.

“It doesn’t smell like rain tonight, which is good. I don’t feel like putting up the tent.”

Ebert groaned. “I don’t like sleeping in the open air.”

“Then you set up the tent,” She retorted.

Ebert’s groan deepened. “It’s not so bad, I guess.”

“That’s what I thought.” She sat down at the newly built fire and put the cooking grate over it, setting a small pot on top of the grate and pouring water into it from her canteen. “Wanna cut up the onions and potatoes for the stew? I still have some jerky left, but I should hunt tomorrow for the trip back.”

“Yeah, sure,” Ebert said with a heavy sigh, settling himself with difficulty on the ground, setting his cane down next to him, and opening the drawstring pouch that contained their food supply. “One each, eh?”

“Yeah, that’s fine,” She said.

“So, has Rings ever gone through heat like this before?” Ebert asked as he peeled the vegetables. “I’ve been meaning to ask, but I keep forgetting. This one seems severe.”

“She’s had a couple of heats since reaching adulthood, but not this bad,” Spring replied, tearing the jerky into small strips and throwing it into the pot. “It’s only as bad as this because Rings isn’t used to suppressing her urges. She’s always been impulsive and opportunistic. If she wants something, whether it’s food, money, sex, or whatever, she either takes it from wherever it’s most readily available or finds someone willing to give it to her, and she never hesitates. It’s why Fysy’s village suits her so well. Ordinarily.”

“True,” Ebert mused. “So stubborn. You’re older than her, right?”

Springs snorted. “By, like, three minutes. We’re from the same litter.”

“You two have such different personalities,” Ebert remarked.

“She’d hate to admit it, but she takes after our parents in temperament. I’m sure that’s one of the reasons she has no interest in having children; she hates the idea of turning out like them. That and she hates kids.”

“Yes,” Ebert replied. “Honestly, so did I, before I met Reverence. I mean, I still hate kids, but I like my kids. I guess I expected to turn out like my family. They were not in any way affectionate or sentimental, and up until Ethrik was born, I was the same way. I’d never have believed being a father was a possibility for me, let alone being a good father or enjoying my time with my children. Life has taken quite the unexpected turn.”

“Do you think Rings should have children, then?”

“Oh, Gods, no,” Ebert laughed. “Granted, I love my children, but I will admit it’s not an experience everyone needs. You know as well as I that suddenly being responsible for a living, breathing life you created is terrifying and not something every person wants to or is capable of handling. Rings is right to think that she wouldn’t raise the kid. She can’t deal with that level of responsibility. Her freedom and autonomy is too important to her, and there’s nothing wrong with that.”

“I agree,” Spring said. “It’s one of the reasons I accepted you invitation to come on this journey. I thought of anyone, you would understand her best and not attempt to sway her opinions or plans for the future. You get her. I appreciate that, as her sister. Not many people do. I’d say even Reverence doesn’t understand Rings as well as you, for all they’ve known each other longer. It’s simply a fundamental difference in their personality.”

“You mean Rings hating kids and Reverence having so many?”

“Not just that,” She mused. “Reverence is the priestess of the goddess of love and fertility. Rings is fine with the first part, not so much the second. Though Rings loves Reverence, their difference in philosophies will always be at odds with each other. That’s why I think you’re good for them. You get them in different ways, and you can mediate if they ever argue.”

“Have they ever argued?” Ebert asked, surprised. “I’ve never witnessed it. Which is strange, because Rings loves to argue.

Spring snickered. “Typically, Rings respects Reverence enough to keep her criticisms to herself, but they had a brief falling out a few years back. Reverence was pregnant, again, and Rings got tired of it.”

“But Reverence never keeps the children, except for mine, and those were special circumstances.”

“Rings didn’t care; she felt like Reverence saw herself as nothing more than a brood mare and had no self-respect. Reverence, on the other hand, feels like making children is her sacred duty, and thus felt as though Rings was insulting her calling in life, and Fysy by extension. The parted ways for almost two months.”

“Oh, gods, it must have been serious,” Ebert said, surprised. “What happened?”

“Rings and I had a discussion about why I decided to keep Candle, even though he was conceived in the throes of an unplanned, unprepared-for heat with a deadbeat, what being a mother means to me specifically, if I wanted more children, that sort of thing. I think it helped her understand Reverence a little better. It’s the one and only time I ever heard of Rings apologizing.”

“I’m glad they made up,” Ebert replied. “I don’t know what my life would be like without both of them, and it’s not a thought I want to entertain.”

Spring smiled fondly. “Me, neither. Reverence is like a sister to me, as well. She gave me and my family a home and helped us start a new life. I owe her a lot.”

“As do I,” Ebert said softly with a sigh, reaching for a spoon to eat the stew right from the pot. “Let’s eat and go to bed, I’m exhausted. I want to get out of here as early as possible.”

Now that they had what they needed, the trip home took much less time, and they arrived back within the town proper in five days. He stopped by Reverence’s house, only to find that Bigby was keeping the children, with all of them on the floor passing a leather ball to each other in turn. Tiny little Evo was sandwiched between Bigby’s legs to keep them upright, squealing delightedly when the ball came close only to kick it out of their reach. Buttons sat in the very center, swatting lazily at the ball as it rolled past her.

Ebert realized from Reverence’s absence that she must be keeping Rings company. Spring collected Candle and excused herself, inviting Ebert and the women over for dinner once Rings was back to her old self.

Ebert went out to the cabin that was well away from most of the town, one of the reasons he liked it so much, and heard moaning issuing from inside. Ah. He’d guessed correctly. He reached up and knocked.

“Fuck off!” Rings cried out.

“It’s me! I’m back!”

“I don’t care! Fuck off!”

“I have a key, you know!”Ebert shouted. “I can let myself in at any time, I was just being considerate!”

“Then let yourself in, the fuck if I care!”

Ebert rolled his eyes and sighed. “I can’t work with the two of you going at it. I’ll start the medicine at home. I’ll be at the house when you’re done.”

“Whatever, go away!”

Snorting derisively, Ebert set back off for home.

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wu-sisyphus-gang · 3 years

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Motion Sickness Chapter 47

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Argus was beautiful. The Mistrali architecture blended and contrasted nicely with that of its Atlesian half. We rode a tram through the city streets and felt the quiet security of the place. There was a humble peace here, one the Black-Out day panic hadn't touched.

I sighed.

It was nice. The environment was relaxing.

Especially after the train ride had turned stressful for me.

My Jaune's semblance was like Blake's Adam's. That meant something. They were similar. They had to be. That's how semblances worked. They were about the soul and that meant Jaune's soul, his very essence, was like Adam's.

That was scary. I'd heard of Adam by now and seen the harm he brought my sister. He'd planned to bomb Haven. He'd set the Grimm loose at Beacon.

Jaune had once described using the Grimm as a weapon as a genius move. Was the difference between him and Adam smaller than I thought? The way Blake told it, it was possible. It was possible enough to make me doubt my own memory of things.

Like when Jaune had killed for the first time. A beat of blue light and the other man fell into two halves. Or even the second time, too. He was drenched in blood. He'd been so casual about it, he was even joking around a little. It made me wonder if it was the second time or just the second time I knew about.

However, Blake's Adam was an obsessive creature, that was the portrait she painted of him, and maybe Jaune was too, but obsessive was the polar opposite of traitorous. It didn't match up. If Jaune was like Adam, he should have been killing for our cause, not turning on us. That's what didn't add up about it. It's why even with Blake's story I was willing to stick to my guns, so to speak.

And Jaune was obsessive.

He was crazy about Cinder and getting his revenge. The only thing that held him back from jumping her at Haven was me and his similar obsession for me.

Salem did something to Jaune. She must have. It was the only way Blake's story lined up. It was the only way Jaune's personality matched his actions. No matter what he was offered he would have said ‘no.’ He would never turn on us intentionally. Something else must be at work.

I brushed my hair back and rubbed the smooth handle of Crescent Rose. I listened to our cart troll along, bumping against the smooth road.

Jaune was out there. He was waiting for me to save him. There was nothing in this world to stop me from worrying about him. He was somewhere, maybe bringing the relic to Salem. Soon he'd be even further in her clutches and here I was going away more and more.

I missed the sound of his voice, the deep baritone. I missed his arms around me. I missed his plans, his mind. I missed his aura, a comfort that nothing else could replicate and replace. Nothing else delivered on that.

We moved towards the military base, a distant part of the city. A reminder of Atlas's strength but far enough away to keep it out of the denizen's minds. They didn't need to be reminded constantly about war and the power of the gunships. Just the occasional touch would do to secure the place mentally.

We approached the gates to the place. Two guards in Atlesian drab met us at the entrance through the bars.

"Hey we need to secure passage to Atlas." I began. "Can you help us?"

"I know Ironwood, we work together."

"Impossible. Besides-"

"The borders are closed," one guard continued.

"No one in or out of Atlas."

"Come on, you didn't even hear us out." Yang shook the bars.

"Our orders are clear."

"The Mistral-Atlas borders are closed."

"Please have a good day."

"But-" Yang began.

"A good day," They said in unison.

"Hey if you don't want to believe that I'm friends with Ironwood-"

"-General Ironwood."

"Right. General Ironwood." Qrow continued. "But look we've got Weiss Schnee with us and we're trying to get her home safely."

They cocked their heads and said together. "Approach."

Weiss gave us all a helpless look. Blake managed an encouraging nod.

They examined Weiss for a long pause. Making sure she was indeed Weiss, probably. She was Weiss so they leaned back and shared a glance.

"Very well-"

"-You may speak with our commanding officer."

"We will fetch her at once."

They marched away in synchronization. With a "Hup-hup-hup-hup-" never let it be said that they didn't take their jobs seriously.

"They were kind of-" Blake began.

"Super weird?" I finished. "Uh-yeah."

"Keep it together. This may be our best shot at getting into Atlas."

"Ms. Schnee, you remember the code phrase you're supposed to give James when you see him?" Ozpin asked.

Weiss nodded.

"Very good. Qrow is correct. You stand the best chance of passing a message along to him. It is likely the rest of us will have to remain here. We will see about finding lodging after meeting with this officer."

"Introducing-" we tried back to the young men working the gate. "Special Operative Caroline Cordovin!"

They stood aside to reveal a short elderly woman with a metallic glint in her eye.

"Hello Operative Cordovin. I'm Weiss Schnee." Weiss gave a little curtsey as she introduced herself.

"Indeed? I've seen the special report informing us to keep an eye out for you. Plus you look ever so much like your sister. We're both Special Operatives so I know her."

"Is that so…" Weiss trailed. "It is imperative that I speak with General Ironwood and secure passage for myself and my companions into Atlas."

"If I may ask, why must you speak to the general?"

"I have a special message for him. His ears only."

"I see… well I'd be happy to secure your transit into Atlas. I've even been ordered to do so given the opportunity but I have no orders for anyone else. I'm afraid your companions will have to stay here until I receive directions to the contrary."

"Very well. If I could just speak to Ironwood I'm sure that he would allow them special passage."

"Unfortunately communication between here and Atlas is limited. He trusts me to run things as I see fit." She looked over the back of her fingernails as she humble-bragged.

"Just me, then. How soon can you have an airship ready?"

Caroline nodded to her men and they opened the gate for Weiss. They closed it behind her and I watched her go on, alone. My heart ached for her but we knew it might come to this. It would be fine. Just for a few days.

I was still worried about her. I knew how much she would hate being alone but she was a big girl. She could tough it out. Besides, the fate of the world was at stake. I'd see her again.

"Well that's settled," I said. "For now at least."

"Come on kids, let's find a place to spend the night." My uncle turned on mechanical legs and strode down the street.

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We marched through the city, searching for an inn we could stay the night at. We rounded a corner and that's when they jumped us.

They came down off the roof in unbelievable unity. Three girls, in masks and balckware came out of the night.

I spun Crescent Rose into it's full form before me. Just in time to block the slash of a knife in my directions. She backed away and fired a gun at me twice. Dagger and gun, she somersaulted through the air at me. She fired the pistol in my face and lashed out with the knife at the last second.

"Where's the relic?" She demanded. Her voice was soft and urgent. She couldn't have been much older than me. She was probably a shade younger, in fact. That or she was incredibly lithe. I struck out at her with Crescent Rose but she-she sort of ate the attack against her body. Her aura flashed with red and blue flames. She grunted with it, a sort of moan.

I fired a shot into her body and she rolled with it. Purple aura flaring over the site of the attack.

She lashed out at me with her knife, trying to slash me. She did a rolling side-flip with it, bringing it around her body and trying to cut me. She tried to breach my range but I disappeared and reappeared a few steps back.

They attacked all of us together. One had a sword with two parallel blades. The last had a set of gauntlets with knives attached to the tips.

They were fast, strong, and skilled, flipping over us and taking us by surprise. My uncle rotated his weapon into play and clashed with the sword user who flipped between him and Oscar. The last engaged Blake and Yang simultaneously.

They all had blonde hair tied up and their masks revealed blue eyes like crystal.

It all seemed incredibly familiar.

I lashed out again and she ate my attack with her aura once more. The blue and red flames wreathed her and burnt at me. It made me take a step back and yelp with pain.

She sort of floated in place as she took two shots at me with her pistol. Her other hand coming up to stabilize with the knife underneath.

She lashed out with the knife as she got closer and I had to say she was good at getting into my guard with her narrow flips and small attacks.

She came up to me and did a sort of kick flip right in my face that nearly connected with my chin. She jumped and kicked at me again with her narrow feet and forced me backwards away from the lashing limbs.

I hit her with the back end of Crescent Rose, knocking her to the asphalt, but she just jumped back to her feet. She jabbed at me two times with her knife, ultra fast, and shot at me again.

I slashed, twirling Crescent Rose at her and bringing my body with it in a whirlwind of attacks. She flipped end over end away from me and I realized she was trying to draw me away from my friends and I held firm. I took a few potshots at her but was careful shooting in the middle of a city. A missed shot could kill a bystander easily.

But then a ghostly specter of red and blue appeared around her body. It lashed out in time with her kicks against me, increasing the force and bashing me back. It had strength beyond her small body. It flared blue and red around her. It didn't seem to keep her safe from harm.

She flipped at me, knife in hand and a crescent of red followed it as the specter which hovered over her, lashed out, overlapping her attack with it's own claws. Instead the monstrous ghost was augmenting her attacks. It was nearly eight feet tall and was a menace of red and blue light.

The girl with the sword flared purple with soft lightning as well and her speed seemed to increase as she flipped through the air, lashing out against Oscar with her blade before leaping back to deal my uncle a blow. She twirled in the air with grace.

She caught Oscar's cane between the blades of her sword. She swung it away and Oscar's cane went clattering down the street. The girl with the sword jumped and slammed both feet into Qrow's chest and knocked him to his knees. He was still unsteady on his new legs.

Blake and Yang seemed to have the situation under control the most. They dealt their attacker a rapid team attack that slammed her against a brick wall. Yang's fists were bared and at the ready. Blake vanished into shadow and let Yang hit through where she used to be to knock her against the wall again.

Yang lashed out with her fist and the girl only narrowly ducked under it. Blake slashed at where she was going and caught the girl on the side. It knocked her to the ground.

Blake tossed Yang the ribbon of Gambol Shroud and together they clotheslined the girl.

The lead girl jumped and lashed out at me with her legs and the hovering ghost attacked in time with her. Increasing her strength immensely. Hovering behind her and beating against my defenses in perfect time with the girl in front of me, the specter was hard to keep track of and I swept my blade through it and it did nothing.

"Where is the relic!?"

"We don't have the relic!" I shouted. She knocked me off my feet and down to the ground. The disembodied pressure of the specter floating behind her disappeared as she went to help her fallen compatriot.

"Blake look out!" I called.

The girl I'd been fighting dealt her a staggering blow with the spirit in tow. It must have been her semblance, that glowing specter that reinforced her attacks.

She rocked Blake back and slammed her against a wall.

"They don't have it on them, sister." The girl with the fisticuffs said as she was pulled to her feet by the girl with the dagger and gun. "The relic isn't here."

The girl with the dagger and gun growled. She took shots at us while they backed off. Using team attacks and surprising maneuverability to cover one another as they made their way back to the roof tops. They hopped off the walls of one building like ninjas and made their way to the top.

The girl with the dagger and gun stretched a hand down and hauled the girl with the double sword over and onto the roof. Then, as quickly as they appeared, they were gone.

I rushed over to Qrow and Oscar.

"Are you two alright?"

"We're fine. Who were those girls?" Qrow breathed.

"I don't know."

"They looked a little familiar, though." Blake said, she held her hands on her thighs and panted.

"They were looking for the relic." Oscar said. "She kept asking us where it was, over and over again."

"Do you think they worked for Salem?" Yang asked.

"I've never seen or heard of agents who match their description before." Oscar said in an Ozpin like voice. "But it is possible. Perhaps even likely."

The police arrived to the sound of gunshots and we gave them our story. How we were attacked and the real culprits escaped into the night. We spent the evening down at the police station repeating our story over and over again to the local authorities.

"What did they mean by 'relic?'" I was asked by a local cop.

I had to tell him I had no idea. I hated lying like that but what choice did I have?

"They weren't making any sense, officers," Yang said. "They sounded hysterical."

"And what are you trying to do in town?"

"We delivered Weiss Schnee to the Argus military base. Maybe that's what all this is about." I lied.

"If I call up Caroline Cordovin will she corroborate that story?"

"She should. She took Weiss from us. I have no idea why she wouldn't." Qrow muttered.

"And where are you ladies and gents staying in town, in case we have more questions and need to get ahold of you?"

"We're not staying anywhere yet. We were looking for a place when we were attacked." Blake explained. It felt like she was saying that for the dozenth time.

"Why don't you give me your scroll numbers? Then we'll let you go on free."

We handed over our numbers and were let out into the very late night.

"Aw man, we're never going to find a place to stay now." I said.

"We should just be glad everyone made it out of that fight okay." Blake murmured. "It was a good thing they were so focused on the relic. They operated like a strike squad. In and out with a non-combat objective."

"But that doesn't make any sense. Why would Salem be trying to take the relic from us. She should know we don't have it." Yang said.

"Unless she doesn't," I said.

"What's that mean?" Yang asked.

"I'm not sure. But it should be a good thing. It means she doesn't know where the relic is."

"You mean she doesn't know where Jaune is? How could she not?" Blake asked.

"It is curious." Oscar or maybe Ozpin put his hands on his cane and leaned on it. "Enemy disorientation is a good thing. I should like to capitalize on it but I'm unsure how. We are missing many details that would set this all straight."

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-WG

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bowerbirdboy · 4 years

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A Complete Character Analysis of Sgt. Anacostia Quartermaine

Anacostia Quartermaine. She’s been a giant question mark since day one but is slowly starting to reveal her true intentions. However, my curiosity still remains about her treatment of Raelle and whether or not it’s special. I rewatched all of the episodes with a special focus on her and here’s what I’ve managed to find. This is a long one, I’m sorry. There’s a whole lot to it, I understand if you have to tap out halfway through or skip to the conclusion, but I’d like to think it’s a thorough compilation of everything Anacostia has shown through her actions, words, and body language.

Intro to Anacostia’s Character:

Anacostia was raised as a fosterling, a military child with no parents, and was looked after by Alder. This caused a strong bond to form between the two of them and made Anacostia the perfect right hand woman. As no-nonsense and professional as she likes to appear, we’ve seen some moments (unrelated to soldiers and training, I’ll get into those later) of humanity from her.

One of the best examples is when the fosterlings come to visit and she can’t help but smile. I think it’s clear that she enjoyed her upbringing and they give her both a nostalgic joy and excitement for the future.

We also see her reminiscing about Beltane with Berryessa, another hint that she remembers her childhood fondly.

She even has her hair down, completely freed from her strict drill sergeant duties.

Anacostia and Punishment:

The first time we see her have a one on one interaction is with Raelle, when she finds out about her first demerit. Immediately we see the epitome of the “I’m not mad, just disappointed” look.

She wipes away the demerit first thing without bothering to ask questions about it or punish Raelle. We only see her begin to get angry when Raelle says “I’m sorry” and she snaps back “are you?”. Instead of being angry that she broke the rules, Anacostia seems upset that Raelle doesn’t care about training or putting in effort to improve her work. She almost starts to yell when talking about how Raelle’s actions negatively impact those around her but takes a breath and calms down. Instead, she sits down next to Raelle which makes the scene feel much more like a pep talk from a big sister than a lecture from a superior officer.

She brings herself down to Raelle’s level and softens her tone, not wanting to seem too much like an authority figure. Keep this in mind, it’s important for later.

She also personally hand delivers Raelle’s mail from her dad, something I would presume is way above her pay grade.

Then we see strike number two after Raelle uses Salva with Scylla. Anacostia’s main priority is making sure Raelle gets medical attention (“We need to get you both to the infirmary”). While both girls took the Salva, Scylla has two officers standing guard by her bed and Raelle has none.

I don’t know if this is protocol, but it does seem like a special case. And seeing as how Anacostia dismisses both soldiers with a simple flick of her head, we can presume she gave them the guard duty in the first place.

Anacostia makes sure the guards are gone before threatening Scylla, perhaps because what she’s about to do isn’t quite up to code.

From the daily ranking list we know it is possible to be punished for improper treatment of subordinates, or lower ranking soldiers.

When her threats don’t seem to make an impact and Scylla is still making eyes at Raelle, Anacostia decides to get her point across by bringing Scylla to the brink of death. That might qualify as an abuse of power.

There’s no regret on her face either, she seems to be enjoying making her point.

In this moment I don’t believe Anacostia knew Scylla was Spree, but when Raelle’s progress was in danger she wasn’t afraid to use fear as a tactic to stop it (“Stay away from her. Far away. As if your life depended on it”). But she only punishes Scylla, not Raelle.

We see Raelle get in trouble again, this time for sleeping during training. Anacostia kicks Raelle’s foot out from under her to wake her up, to date the most physical punishment we’ve seen Raelle receive from her. Meanwhile, Abigail gets the brunt of Raelle’s failure when Anacostia forces her to hold out a tricky seed for a dangerous amount of time.

She is unconcerned, even though Abigail is clearly risking her voice and she was the one who told the girls “It is imperative that the entirety of your vocal apparatus... must remain functional and sound producing at all times. Inability to produce sound can leave a soldier powerless.”

This could be a psychological punishment, to get the message across to Raelle that her failures directly harm her team. Raelle cares more about others than herself (even if it was before her and Abigail bonded), so maybe Anacostia knew that it would make Raelle feel guilty. But I think it’s possible she wanted to spare Raelle while still making an example of mistake, so the other girls didn’t get the wrong idea.

Anacostia and Training:

We first see this in episode one, when Raelle storms in to confront Abigail. The other officers are concerned and want to break it up immediately, but Anacostia is interested in seeing the extent of what she can/will do.

She lets the storm rage for about as long as it can without becoming harmful to all those in the nearby vicinity and I think she may have also hoped that Raelle would wriggle out of Abigail’s chokehold. When she inevitably doesn’t, Anacostia grabs Abigail and a random official grabs Raelle. That may have been a subtle hint that Anacostia wanted to ensure Raelle’s safety, only trusting herself to remove Abigail in time.

Anacostia has a strange focus on Raelle in training. This may just be because the Bellweather Unit has the main characters and it makes sense for them to always be the focal point, but I’ll include it anyway.

Even after rebelling and expressing disinterest in being there, Raelle is trusted with being the leader of the pyramid in a training exercise.

While in a unit vocal lesson, Anacostia speaks directly to Raelle by saying “Very good Private Collar, that seed is a beast to master. Maintain it.” So was Raelle specifically given harder work than the others? Or was Anacostia only focusing on her?

Tally and Abigail argue back and forth about their moms, but it is only when Raelle says “how about we cool it on the mom talk” that Anacostia takes notice of the unit and encourages them to “use what’ve you got ladies”. They then proceed to produce a strong wind strike and we hear rare words of praise (“Best wind strike all day”).

Anacostia and Praise:

That leads me rather nicely into my next little segment, Anacostia’s praise of Raelle.

When Raelle wakes up in the infirmary after trying to save Porter, Anacostia’s first words are another comment about her wellbeing (“You could’ve died”).

She looks angry but this time Raelle hadn’t done anything wrong. It seems as if Anacostia was worried about Raelle and covered it up with a layer of anger for risking her health without a second thought.

For the second time we see Anacostia sit down next to her, lowering herself to an equal level so it feels like a friendly conversation rather than a conversation with her drill sergeant.

We hear her praise Raelle, saying “We are all incredibly proud of you, that kind of bravery can’t be taught.” While not the first time Anacostia has complimented Raelle, it is a very vulnerable moment where she talks specifically about her character rather than her skills. It mirrors the first demerit scene and shows Raelle’s growth and Anacostia’s investment in it.

But more importantly, Raelle doesn’t recognize the special treatment she is given. Anacostia is stern and she punishes more than she praises, so you would think Raelle may have started to notice. But in episode five we get two quotes that show she doesn’t.

“Yeah even Anacostia was impressed with our wind strikes.”

When have clearly seen several examples of Anacostia being impressed by their work, including the vocal lesson in the first episode and the wind strike.

“There’s no way she said that.”

When Scylla tells Raelle that Anacostia praised her skills, which we saw happen, Raelle cannot believe it. We’ve seen moments of Anacostia pushing Raelle and complimenting her skills, but Raelle doesn’t see past her her demanding exterior yet.

Perhaps Raelle thinks the bad moments outweigh the good, but when you see how Anacostia treats other soldiers it becomes clear how different she is with Raelle.

Anacostia and Other Soldiers (mainly Tally):

After the swimming pool Spree attack, everyone is a little shaken up. Particularly a woman named Simms, who can’t even produce sound because she’s crying so much.

“Simms, buck up. You are in the United States Army, will you cry every time the Spree attack?” She refuses to show any weakness in the moment because she wants to show her soldiers what strength looks like.

We do eventually see that Anacostia is also shaken up by the attacks and the reactions of her girls, a softer side she doesn’t often show.

She is clearly struggling as well but wants to train the weakness out the soldiers, to keep them safe. She waits for them to leave before breaking down slightly.

However, this is entirely different from how she handles Raelle’s Scylla meltdown. When Raelle is crying and screaming about the loss of Scylla, she tries not to react. Just like Simms’ feeling of fear and sadness, grief is a common occurrence in war that they need to learn how to deal with.

She maintains eye contact and betrays no emotion. Yet.

Even though Raelle is demanding that Anacostia do her job better and is accusing of her sabotaging the search (which she was but... still), Anacostia holds her ground. But when Raelle starts yelling (“You’re acting like I’m crazy, I’m not crazy”), something softens in her eyes.

I believe here she’s realizing just how much Scylla meant to Raelle and she does not want to see Raelle breakdown like this. She even does a hard swallow, as if forcing down some emotion trying to bubble to the surface. There is a sympathy in her eyes that isn’t in the first picture or her confrontation with Simms.

The harshest we’ve seen Anacostia act is towards Tally. Tally is bubbly and naive and still a little scared, all traits Anacostia wants to train out of her. While Raelle’s rebellion and disinterest seem like they should also deserve poor treatment, Anacostia appears to save all of her “harsh life lessons” for Tally.

In episode two, Anacostia singles Tally out and asks her to stab her in the eye, knowing that she would falter and fail.

The look here is cold and expectant. She knows Tally is terrified and won’t be able to do it, but she’s going make Tally feel the full extent of her failure.

When Tally falls, Anacostia barely looks at her before asking someone else to pick up her slack. She knew Tally wouldn’t be able to complete the task and wanted to teach her a cruel reality about war.

Then when Tally find her at the wedding, pale and shaking, to tell Anacostia about the Spree balloon, Anacostia snaps “what is it?” as her first response. While typically we see her holding back her anger and annoyance, Anacostia makes no attempt to hide how she feels about this inconvenience.

And if the message wasn’t clear before, when Tally grips onto her arm Anacostia yanks it away rather unceremoniously.

In episode six when Tally tracks her down to follow up about Scylla, Anacostia doesn’t even bother turning around to acknowledge that someone is talking to her.

She keeps her eyes and head tilted away from Tally, barely even acknowledging that they’re having a conversation. One could wave this away as her trying to keep the secret of Scylla’s location if not for the previous examples of her behavior towards Tally.

Anacostia speaks in short sentences, attempting to dismiss Tally as quickly as possible and only addresses her directly when she wants to threaten her to keep her mouth shut.

Anacostia and Scylla:

This frame about sums up Anacostia’s role in Scylla and Raelle’s relationship and I believe it’s quite purposeful.

She’s standing between them, a constant obstacle. Not only directly, when she threatens Scylla and when she kidnaps her but also what she represents. She wants Raelle to be a good soldier, to follow the life the military has laid out for her. Scylla wants her to see that there’s more to life than that and wants to get away from the military.

After she walks over, Raelle opens her mouth to speak but Anacostia talks over her and directly to Scylla (“You’re not supposed to be here”). It’s as if she’s trying to leave Raelle out of it, once again protecting her as if she’s a child.

As soon as Raelle calls Scylla her girlfriend, Anacostia’s glare shifts to Scylla. Throughout the Tally distraction, Anacostia watches her carefully.

There’s too much to screen shot here, so if you want to follow along, here you go. In her and Scylla’s one on one chat I think here you can see Anacostia’s thinly veiled affection for Raelle and how defensive she is of her, almost like an aunt or mother-figure. She says “you’ve taken advantage of a new recruit” in a tone much angrier than if she really was just a “new recruit”. It seems to be a deliberate choice of words to emotionally distance herself from Raelle in this situation. When Scylla takes credit for some of Raelle’s newfound success in training, Anacostia becomes even more mad and says “Raelle doesn’t need you, she has her own gifts. I suggest you end it sooner than later or I will make life very difficult for you, Ramshorn.” Scylla responds sarcastically and Anacostia responds with a slight head shake as if to say Scylla has no idea who she’s messing with.

Now last but not least, we have the big bombshell at the end where Anacostia is revealed to be torturing Scylla.

And I think the lighting says it all, this is a true dark side to Anacostia that we haven’t seen before. Almost completely unlit, leaving a shadowy portrait gives her the scene an eerie feeling and

Her interrogation starts with “how did you plan the wedding attack?”, meaning she believes Scylla was the force behind the Bellweather death(s) and all of the destruction it caused. The real question is would Anacostia be interrogating her like this if she didn’t think she was a mass murderer?

Conclusion:

Anacostia’s treatment of other soldiers is not bad (except for SELECT moments with Tally and Scylla). She is a drill sergeant training them for war, she needs to be tough to keep them alive. It’s not even close to Izadora slitting a girl’s throat in the promo for next week. However she unquestionably gives Raelle tough love, almost as if she’s watching over her. It’s possible Raelle reminds her of a younger her, or Anacostia knew her mom, or she somehow knows Raelle’s strength and is supposed to monitor her. But you can definitely see that she handles Raelle differently from other soldiers and Anacostia has personal interest in her advancement.

I think it also shows that Anacostia will be the first to want to stop torturing Scylla. She really doesn’t seem to be cold or cruel, only when something or someone she cares about is directly affected. When she finds out that Scylla abandoned the Spree for Raelle, I believe Anacostia will no longer want to harm her.

#if you're still here i appreciate you #just needed to get that all out in one post #anacostia quartermaine #motherland: fort salem #motherland fort salem #motherland #fort salem #raelle collar #scylla ramshorn #raylla #tally craven #grace speaks #MFS Research Institute

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pirlaemeritus · 4 years

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First Ritual Experience: taint tickling in Mantova.

Two days ago I finally got the chance to see Ghost live for the first time. I had such a great night, it was really an outstanding concert, which I had been waiting for for months, so I was super excited about it. My boyfriend offered to come with me to Mantova (Italy) to see them, and it was really nice of him, since 1) he had never heard of Ghost before, and 2) Mantova is about a 3 hour drive from where we live. I was a little afraid that he would have gotten bored, since he didn’t know any of the songs or anything about Ghost in general, so I tried to give him something to listen to, to see if he liked it. Though he fell in love with Prequelle, going to a Ritual was still a pretty daunting experience for him, but I really appreciate that he came with me anyways.

We both ended up having a great time! He was really curious about all the lore around the Cardinal, the Papas and the Ghouls and I did my best to explain to him without sounding like too much of a dork or a weird ass cult member. But besides of this, I was excited to see what reaction could a full Ghost concert cause on someone like him. Therefore, I collected all the best moments from the Ritual, as a kind of a social experiment (?), but also because I don’t want to forget any of them.

Here we go:

- before going to the show, he saw me putting on makeup and asked me to help him apply some eyeliner, saying “I already have enough dark circles to look like the cardinal, I might as well copy his look properly”.

- when the lights turned on at the beginning of the concert, he didn’t notice the presence of the Ghouls at first, because they were standing still on the stage and got scared when they started moving around because he had no idea they were there.

- when Copia came out on the stage with the red suit on, the first thing he noticed was literally his thiccness, saying that “it’s just not fair”.

- “Is... is he trying to finger the microphone stand?”

- he felt sorry for Aether when Dew started bullying him and called Dew “a mean grasshopper”.

- he kept asking me where the female choir voices were coming from, and when I pointed out the presence of the Ghoulettes (they were kind of far from us, and you couldn’t really see that their masks were different), he was absolutely astonished to find out that there were also girls in the group.

- we were not close to the stage enough to see Copia kneeling down to Cirice someone, so I decided to be a romantic dork and Ciriced my boyfriend. I’m sure I’m not half as charming as Copia or Papa III, but I swear I have never seen anyone looking both so flustered and confused at the same time. It was absolutely adorable.

- he screamed “YES GRANDPA!” during Nihil’s saxophone solo. He had no idea who Nihil was before this.

- when Copia came on the stage wearing the white suit, he claimes he looked “unsettling yet charming”. I’m pretty sure the Cardinal would have appreciated.

- he saw the Plague Doctors roaming on the stage before Dance Macabre started and with the most serious voice, he said “Amazing. I guess we’re going to die”.

- he took a shit ton of pictures during Dance Macabre’s performance, because of the rainbow-colored lights, which he said fitted with everything that I had ever told him about Ghost.

- since he had never heard Year Zero before, he was totally not expecting the crowd to explode screaming “HAIL SATAN!” , and after trying to get over the shock, he stated “My grandma would be so proud”.

- he got scared by the pyrotechnic stage effects and said “I could feel my eybrows catch fire, how are they not dead yet”.

- “I have never met this Sister Imperator that you keep talking about, but she sounds terrifying”.

- he had the most confused look during Copia’s speech about taint tickling, ass wobbling and nipples in general, but he kept laughing as well, so I guess it’s not a bad thing.

- (Referring to Copia) “I love that he’s so obsessed with nipples. I want to have a conversation with him”

- during Kiss The Go-Goat, he asked me what Dewdrop and Aether could be bickering about, and when I told him about the meaning of the song, he said he would definitely go for Aether, since “that other one looks like the spawn of Satan”.

- he hugged me super thight during He Is. I don’t really have a reason to add this moment to the list, but I want to share it anyways, because it felt so special to me.

- when I introduced him to every band member, I told him to keep an eye on Swiss, since he is so fun to look at when he’s performing. After a while, he stated that he’s “a little slutty, but like, in a really intimidatory way” and I guess he’s right.

- he was super hyped up for the Ghoulettes, and screamed “YOU GO BEYONCE!” during Mummy Dust’s keytar solo. I honestly don’t know what he was trying to say, but I appreciate the enthusiasm.

- he was really sad that I wasn’t able to catch the guitar pick that Aether threw at us (it hit my arm and fell on the floor, but the guy that was next to me picked it up before I could find it), so after the concert was over, he went around the pit, trying to find something else. He ended up finding two Ghost dollars, which made me really happy.

- after we had come back from the concert venue to our hotel, he kept looking at his own butt in the mirror and asked me if I will ever love him as much as I love Copia, even if he’s not as thicc as he is.

- when I told him about how, according to the lore, Sistor punched Nihil and gave him and his sons a white eye, he nodded and said “If she’s badass around to fuck up your genetics, you know it’s going to be a damn strong marriage”

I guess that’s it! I’m sure there are a lot of things that I forgot to add, but this is everything that I can list off for now! I’m so glad that my boyfriend enjoyed the show as much as I did, it was nice to see the ritual from a different perspective. I am also super grateful to him for choosing to come with me, and I’m so happy to hear that he had fun too. We had an amazing night in Mantova, and I can’t wait to see another Ghost concert as soon as possible!

#cardinal copia #the band ghost #ghost bc #the ultimate tour named death #ghost mantova

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spacebrick3 · 5 years

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“Friday Night” Fights

Maybe it’s not Friday night anymore, but I still have a thing for @promptsforthestrugglingauthor ‘s Friday Night Fights!

Prompt #678: I had faced a number of tragedies in my life, watching as my sister and her husband passed, mourning with their young son, ruling as regent until he would become of age to continue their legacy.

But then he fell ill too. And the rumors began to swirl in my direction.

“Well, this is inconvenient,” I mutter, looking up from the second major news publication this morning to insinuate, to suggest that just maybe, possibly, I had something to do with the death of my sister and the illness of her son. Of course they’d never accuse me of such a thing, but doesn’t it bear looking into, they ask?

Apparently I need to learn to mutter quieter, for my secretary looks up from their own work. “What? Your nephew’s sickness? Pardon me, Atropos, but I don’t think you can write that off as ‘inconvenient’-“

“Not that. The rumors. People might start believing them.”

She frowns, picking up my paper and rifling through it. As her eyes scan the paper, she jots down names, addresses, and a few choice pieces of information—some acquired through legitimate means, trading favors and the like, others…perhaps less so, though no less potent for their illegality. “It shouldn’t matter. Janos should recover in time, and he should be able to tell the masses that they’re simply not true.”

Wouldn’t that be nice. “If only, Danai. But I don’t think we’ll ever hear that speech.”

“You—what?”

I sigh, gesturing for her to follow. “His illness is fatal. Within the week, he will be dead. Assuming I got the doses right, of course,” I say, spinning the pen between my fingers, “but I have had practice.”

The words hang in the air for just a second, Danai’s gaze frozen in disbelief, before she snaps out of it. “Um. I really hope you didn’t just say what the hell I thought you said, Regent. Because if you had, I would—well, my duty is to the kingdom. To the monarch. And if you were working against him, then it would be my legal imperative to-“

“I know what I said. And I don’t think the Federation of the Beyond would appreciate you calling them ‘hell’.”

She blinks. “I don’t—no such federation exists.”

My office door has a note pinned to it, the same article from the newspaper but scribbled over in red pen. I pull it off with a grimace, crumpling it up and nearly handing it to Danai before remembering she probably believes it. Not that I’ve done much to dissuade her from it—the opposite, in fact. “Hear me out. Once you leave my study, you’re free to tell anybody and everybody—if you wish. All I ask is that you let me explain.”

Why she chooses to trust me then, I don’t know. Perhaps ‘trust’ is too strong a word, for she pulls a small knife from her shoe, but she stays, and it’s enough. “Then explain, Regent.”

I nod. “Several years ago, I received a letter from another sovereign state, somewhere far outside our borders. This made no sense, for-“

“That’s impossible,” she says. “There isn’t anything outside our borders. We’ve checked. There’s just…nothingness, just clouds and fog and the fools who’ve stepped off the edge.” I mouth the words along with her, even as I pull the letter from my desk.

Eight years have not corroded the paper, and I suspect it never will. That which is already dead cannot die further. “Exactly. And yet here it sat,” I say, holding out the midnight paper to her. “No experts could deduce from where it came, or from when. After months of searching, the only conclusion was that it told the truth.”

“This…” she starts, “this…is impossible. A government—no, a country, a world…of death itself? Even if it’s true, how could they communicate-?”

“I don’t know.” It’s the truth. “Does it matter? This is only the first of many in our communications, so I’ll summarize. Assuming you believe what I say?”

The struggle plays out in her eyes. “I…I don’t know. I see no reason to trust you, Regent. You spin an interesting story, though, and I suppose I’ll let it continue if only to see how you justify your crimes. Let the court laugh.”

“I expected nothing different,” I say with a sigh. “Over time, we established diplomatic relations, but they were always pressing for something…more. Through my own methods, those you are likely familiar with, I established that they wished to join our two kingdoms closer. Their own royal family had been lost, I do not know how, and they saw an opportunity.”

“Death itself saw an opportunity,” she says flatly. “What a tale.”

“The stories tell that two kingdoms could be joined by their royal families. The same family, the same blood, at the helm of our two nations.”

She laughs, a cynical, disbelieving laugh. “I see. It’s not killing, no, it’s not murder for your own benefit, Regent. The kingdom—sorry, federation—of Death needed a ruler, and here you were, willing and able to provide your sister. Just a side benefit that you became ruler here, of course, and that no one can prove your statements,” she sneers. “Have to admit, of all the explanations you could have given, I wasn’t expecting that one.”

“So you don’t believe me.”

“Oh, let’s say I do. Two questions: How did you ensure they’d get to the ‘Federation of the Beyond’, and not simply die? And why their son? Why kill him too?”

The letter goes back into the desk, replaced with a blackened vial and feathered needle. “The same way we communicate. Here, we would call it poison—there, it’s life-giving. Quite literally. Loses its potency the farther from the Beyond it is, which is why the prince has fallen ill rather than departed. Luckily, I’ve just received a new batch.”

“How lucky,” she says with a grimace. “And the prince?”

“In order to continue the royal family, they need an heir. And—well, it’s rather difficult to create life in the Beyond, as you might imagine. Another letter was sent, signed by my sister herself, and I obliged with its request.”

Danai shakes her head, backing towards the door. “Quite…quite the explanation, Regent. And…I don’t know if I should believe you or not, but I don’t have to. My duty is to the kingdom of this world, not another. Convince the court, not me, that you’re telling the truth.”

No court would believe me. They still believe in their gods, heaven and hell and all the rest. “You were a good secretary, Danai. May you serve my sister as well as you did me,” I say.

“What-?”

The needle scratches a line along her face, pitch-black and already spreading. “Just restocked, and I can’t have the others knowing. If only you had listened, if only you had trusted me…” Whatever she tries to say never makes it, for the poison of the Beyond works swift and ruthless. Only her eyes have time to widen in fear, in a realization too late, before they too go dark.

“You’ll understand once you get there.”

#friday night fights #writing #sorry it's late!#but at least it's done #sorta went a weird direction but oh well

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indrajyotisengupta1968 · 4 years

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A woman who made my life

This was in 1998. I had just changed my job and was now heading the Regional Office of one of the leading Share Registrar firms of India. And as an eligible bachelor, my parents started looking for a bride for me. And then came 27th December 1998. I visited the house of my wife, Shanta (of course, I did not know then that I was meeting the most important person of my life). Well the first day of our meeting wasn't so inspiring. However my sister and parents were thoroughly impressed with Shanta and the entire Saha household. My sister and my mother cajoled me to meet Shanta for the second time. So on 1st January, 1999, we met again at the Saturday Club. And something happened that day (and that something happens still today after 21years of marriage), and I agreed to the proposal.

Today in this story I am not going to share about our romance, but how Shanta managed my life and how she became a towering figure in making me what I am today. I wanted to reflect through this story, the proverb – Behind every successful man, there is a woman. I will not call myself successful, but whatever I have achieved till today, she played the role in getting the best out of me.

One of the most difficult times after my marriage was when I was going through the ordeal of Disc Prolapse that I had suffered. I used to suffer from tremendous pain and was in bed for more than 5 months. I even had to go through a Spinal Cord surgery. And when I say that I had to lie in bed, it means that I used to be writhing in pain. Pain killer injections had to be given often. Initially a compounder used to give the injection, but soon Shan (as I fondly call her), learnt how to inject and she used to give the injection whenever I was in pain. Those times saw me, mostly in hospitals. My life revolved around ambulances and hospitals. My parents and my in laws were very worried about my state of affairs. My father has always been a strong man but one day I could also see drops of tears in his eyes. But the only person who stood strong and always had a smile on her face was Shan. Whenever I used to feel better, I used to ask her about how she felt about this entire thing and whether she felt I would be able to overcome this trauma. And her answer was always "Yes". She used her favourite word and this word has acted as a tonic in my life, it has given me courage when I have lost hope and the word is "Faith". I couldn't understand what Faith meant, but it was she who made me understand not only the literal meaning but the practical meaning of faith. She was like a friend and philosopher during these difficult days of my life. Then with her faith in God and with the help of the prayers of everyone around me, I got well in around 5 months.

The next very important decision in my life was that I gave up my job as well as my profession of that of a Company Secretary and started business in 2004. My father vehemently objected to this decision. He had always been a service holder and couldn't ever think that his son would leave a job and start his business. For him business was fraught with risks and it was not meant for middle class families like us. But the person who stood beside me in this decision was Shan. She gave me the courage to move on. She herself belonged to a business family. She had the exposure of doing business. She used to work in her father's business and had quite a bit of exposure of the same. She was going to be my guide in my new life.

I had applied for the licence of one of the leading International Language Schools in the world. I wanted to get the Licence for Kolkata. And I had sent this application while I was in bed during my disc prolapse days. Now the interview date had come and the interview was supposed to happen in Delhi. So I and Shan flew to Delhi early in the morning of the interview. I had terrible pain but now that she was with me, I felt that I would be able to overcome all the obstacles that came my way. The interview went off well and we came back to Kolkata the same evening. And after a few days, I got to know that I was selected as the Licensee of the International Language School for the territory of Kolkata. Then the actual work started. We had to organise a lot of funds for this start up. We did not get investors. I took some money from my father, some bit from the savings that we had and the rest was through loans. Shan took up the responsibility of organising all the loans. We took personal loans, loans from our credit cards, loans from our Insurance Policies, to mobilise all the money that was needed to start the venture. Without her, it wouldn't have been possible to start this in a big way.

The business went on, but then a time came in 2010 when we were suffering from huge cash losses. It was becoming very difficult to run the business. It was becoming very difficult to even pay our fixed expenses such as rents, the fixed salaries and most importantly the EMIs of all the loans that we had taken. We were defaulting and it was very difficult to handle these banks. When the waters had risen over my head, it was Shan who came in as a saviour. She started meeting the banks and talking to them. On many occasions she had to face humiliation but then she never let me face the heat. She took it all on herself and took me out of the mess.

Some other wife might have told her husband, "Enough of this, no more doing business, now get back to your profession." This was not the case with Shan. She never discouraged me, rather she always acted as a great Motivator in my life. We shifted from the big office to a much smaller office at a much lesser rent. The manpower was drastically reduced and with a small team we started all over again. And this was only possible due to her inspiration.

In the meantime, changes were happening in the home front. We got our daughter in 2007 and then in 2008, we started staying separately from our parents. I remember when we shifted to our new house, Shan did not have the experience of handling a family on her own. But her intelligence, wit and courage saw us through it. Very soon we settled into our new home. I still remember the excitement that she had when she was building her home. She was a fine architect who could carve out her home with her heart and mind. When this shift happened, I was going through the difficult times of dealing with the bank loans. On one hand Shan dealt with the banks, on the other hand she was carving out our new home. It was her faith that made her build her home, her family and our lives.

In the meanwhile just after my disc prolapse problem, I had been detected with Diabetes. This was again a very difficult phase of my life. It meant complete lifestyle modifications. And what does lifestyle modification mean? It means changing of food habits and following a discipline where physical exercises such as walking was imperative. And of course medication also played a very big part. When one of the leading diabetologist of Kolkata advised me that I had to go on Insulin, it was a big disappointment for the entire family. I was 35 years of age and it was very difficult for me to accept the fact that I would have to take insulin injections four times a day for the rest of my life. The dieticians advised that there was restriction on using of oil while cooking. Shan wasn't too much into cooking. Most of the time we use to have domestic helps who used to cook in her house. Shan had her strict eye that not more than one tea spoon of oil was used in one curry. She knew that I loved to eat and she tried her best to serve me with delicious food staying within the limitations as set by the dietician. I remember once the cook had put in more oil in the pan and it came to her notice. She was very angry on the cook and showed her the insulin needle and explained how painful it was to take the pricks. She started maintaining a log book. This log book contained the readings of my blood sugar readings on the glucometer on a weekly basis, my physical workouts like walking on a daily basis (what this meant was that the days I walked, there would be a tick and the days I didn't walk there would be no ticks) and how many days in a week I was eating out. She became my Mentor and Coach to control the diabetes problem of my life. My diabetologist has often praised me about the way I have controlled my diabetes and has also referred to me as his " Model Patient." Believe me, I am not the one who should be getting this honour but it is my Coach who deserves all the appreciation. If she wouldn't have been around, I would have been more relaxed and my blood sugar control wouldn't have been as efficient as it is now. Shan makes sure that all my yearly health check-ups are done on time and my yearly meet with the diabetologist is never missed.

In the year 2007, I was invited by Kolkata Traffic Police to take up Motivational Sessions for Kolkata Police. Initially I was hesitant, but then Shan gave me the courage to take up this new assignment. She used to go with me to such classes and then when we were back she used to advice me on how I could improve upon my talks. I remember a word she used to often tell me and that was "Structured". She wanted that I should have a proper structure and the entire thing shouldn't just be extempore talk. Gradually I became a professional Motivational Speaker and people who have attended my programs have been awed by it. Initially before performing in any program, I used to do a rehearsal program with Shan, and only when she gave the go ahead signal, that's when I felt ready to deliver. She had a huge role, like a director of a movie in the creation of all my talks. Today that I have done quite a number of talks, we don't do such rehearsals, but even today her words of inspiration before any program helps me to control the butterfly in my stomach.

I normally keep very busy with my work. I travel quite a lot for my work. But I am at peace when I am at work. Shan takes the entire responsibility of the well being of our daughter and my parents. She is extremely patient when it comes to dealing with my parents. Maybe sometimes, I lose my patience, but she is empathetic and compassionate towards them. On this day I can say that my parents rely more on her than on me. Our daughter Roshan is growing to be a beautiful young lady. It is her mother, who again plays a great role in evolving Roshan into what she is. Shan is a very strict person when it comes to discipline. This holds true for all of us, me, Roshan as well as herself. Roshan does complain, but Shan gives a deaf ear to her. And I think that is what has made Roshan excel in sports, in her studies and she is an extremely good cook at a very young age.

Shan is extremely keen that my talents as a Speaker and an Author doesn't go waste. It was with her initiative, that my book "The Verses of Life" got published. She is the editor of all my work. All my stories, poems and blogs are edited by her. It is only once she clears, that the matter is set up for publishing. Today she is actively working on social media marketing with her team so that all my videos on Youtube are made popular and all my writings are published in the right platform for people to read and enjoy. May be a day will come when the whole world will know my accomplishments, but this story is for the world to know that a man can never accomplish unless he has a wife who can act as a Friend, Philosopher, Guide, Mentor, Coach, Saviour, Motivator and a Director of that man.

Shan has been the most powerful influencer who has played the biggest role to change my life.

#my wife #happy #motivaitional #life #business #diabetes #love #believe #inspiration

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ghostheadcanons · 5 years

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Papas + Copia: S/O Comes Out as Trans

Anonymous said:

How would the Papa’s and Copia react to their s/o coming out as trans? Like I know they’d all be supportive but do they do something special to help them with their self discovery?

You’re absolutely right, anon. All of them would be supportive of you. But they would all go about it in different ways!

Papa Nihil:

You would think someone his age would have trouble with this sort of thing. Well, you’re wrong! He’s seen a lot of things throughout the centuries, and this certainly isn’t the strangest or the most difficult to process.

Your deadname? Gone. He’s one of the most influential men in the world, cara mia. Changing your name is easy as a snap of his fingers!

He also has some of the most skilled doctors in his back pocket, so you would be able to transition properly as soon as possible, if you wanted.

If you want a new wardrobe, Sister Imperator is more than happy to take you shopping for one.

He will automatically correct anyone who uses the wrong pronouns for you, no matter what their rank is. If it was malicious on their part, it’s an instant demotion and he makes them apologize personally to you.

Papa I:

He has seen much in his time as a church leader, so it’s not hard for him to accept. He’s a little confused, at first, but once you explain it fully to him, he nods.

He’s probably one of the best listeners if you want to vent or cry on his shoulder. Papa I doesn’t personally know your struggles, but he can certainly empathize, beloved.

He knows spells for changing appearances, but the permanent ones can be very dangerous if you make any mistakes...if you’re open to the idea, he would want a mixture of mundane and magical methods for your transitioning. Nothing too dangerous.

Is quick to reassure you whenever your dysphoria is bad. “You are not where you want to be. But you will get there, lamb. I promise.”

If he catches anyone making disparaging comments, he’s going to lecture them. Really, now. The church is meant to be a place of love and acceptance for everyone. Are we barbarians? Are we christians?

Papa II:

He listens to what you have to say. At first you were a little worried he wasn’t taking any of it in, but at the end, he nods. Different name? Different pronouns? Of course, caro. That’s easily done.

If you want to medically transition, he will pay for it out of his own pocket, and glare down any doctors who try to tell him no.

He’d also want to talk with you about bedroom things--if you want to be addressed differently, if there are parts of your body you would rather he not refer to....things like that.

One advantage to having Papa II walk around with you is that people are a lot less likely to say anything or try to start something with you. He will go with you places in public--even in the restroom, if you’re both men.

Lucifer help any clergy member who throws a slur your way. He will literally put them in the hospital.

Papa III:

Wait...so you were born this gender...but you’re actually this other one? ...alright, makes sense to him!

He’s going to forget your pronouns sometimes, but he’ll slap his forehead and correct himself immediately. “Ah, mi dispiace, tesoro! Forgive me.”

Your biggest cheerleader! Whether you’re getting your name changed, signing up for hormone therapy, or even something as small as buying a binder/breast forms, he’s going to be right there by your side.

Speaking of buying things, get ready for a new wardrobe! Papa III is going to take you shopping for one.

Like his brother, he’d also want to talk about bedroom stuff--but with him, it’s a lot more in depth. What kind of roles do you not want to play anymore in these scenarios? Are there certain pet names you’d rather he stay away from? How about narratives? Would you be interested in trying these other roles?

If your dysphoria is particularly bad, he’s going to make you feel like the most beautiful/handsome/sexy person on the planet. Because you are. And you deserve all the happiness in the world.

If he sees anybody giving you a hard time or saying hurtful things, he’ll laugh really loudly. “Oh! That’s hysterical! Cirrus! Cumulus! Come over here and listen to what this stronzo just said!” He stands there with two hissing ghoulettes at his side, smiling wide as the person stammers out an apology. “No, no! If you think it’s funny to say things like that, by all means, say them! See what happens!”

Cardinal Copia:

Out of all of them, I think he would have the most difficulty understanding. But don’t confuse his...well, confusion, with not wanting to understand.

He’s going to be asking you a lot of questions--what your pronouns are, if you want your name changed, if you want to start transitioning...tell him what you need, and the two of you can get it together. He might actually take notes, because it helps him memorize the information.

Copia would want to make sure you transition safely, so he would help you make proper choices when it comes to things like binders. He does his research in his spare time, gathering information on what might work best for you.

He does his absolute best to comfort you if you need it. “Let me be your rock, topolino. You are so strong...and this will pass.”

Anybody talking shit about you for being trans gets an angry scolding that’s going to leave them reeling afterwards. That’s no way to behave! How dare you say such things? Maybe a few months of scrubbing floors will teach you some better manners...

#ghost #ghost bc #papa nihil #papa i #papa ii #papa iii #copia #cardinal copia #ghost headcanons #ghost bc headcanons #trans s/o #love #relationships #the papas + copia say 'trans rights!'#i hope this turned out okay!!!!#headcanons

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run2yamama · 5 years

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Chapter 24 - R2YM (Insight into having an absent-mum due to death)

It wasn’t until I was in my twenties that I realised how affected I was by my absent-mother. I had no idea that the way I navigated my life had been shaped around this .

I’ve been speaking to two other women about their experiences and you know what’s sad yet comforting? Our experiences of growing up without our mum’s were so similar. We struggled with relationships, abandonment issues and ultimately lots of unanswered questions. The first one being, who was this woman who gave birth to me; who was she when she wasn’t my mother? This question alone has changed my stance on mothers in general; we need to humanise them.

Though we were all children when we lost our mothers, it’s very insightful to see all the similarities between us. It’s become very clear to me that it doesn’t matter whether you lost your mum to death or because she walked away, it shapes your journey of womanhood entirely. It feels as though you have survived the heartbreaking bit and now you have to spend your adulthood unlearning old patterns of thought.

Between myself and the two wonderful women who spoke to me in depth about their journey with an absent-mum, we decided it’s time to discuss this openly.

I have decided to split this up into three separate chapters as they are quite intense reads, this chapter features a White woman, the second one will feature a Black Woman and my point of view is sprinkled between both so you will have the perspective of a WOC too. I do understand how important representation is and how this may cause differences in our experiences with having an absent-mum however quite honestly, there just aren’t that many.

A WOMAN WHOSE MOTHER ISN’T IN HER MEMORY – Claira Hermet (35 years old, London & a presenter @bbcradiolondon)

Claira’s mum died of breast cancer when she was 9 years old, the memories that she has are vague and of course painful to recall, what she does remember is that before she lost her mum she felt safe and secure.

“I was devastated. It was like my world had ended. Nothing made any sense. I didn’t know who or what I was without my mum. I didn’t know she could die.”

Claira knew her mum was ill, but what does that really mean to a child if they don’t understand the risks and implications of it? For her there was no safety net between the transition of having a mum and suddenly not having one.

As I mentioned above, I struggle to recall pleasant memories with my mum and my strongest memories are traumatic; but thought this was a given as my mum was abusive. Claira’s strongest memory of her mother is unfortunately quite traumatic also and I think that’s very insightful, it says a lot about how children compartmentalise memories.

“Honestly my strongest memory of my mum is her sitting in the bath. She had had a single mastectomy and her chest on that side was an open wound caused by the cancer. She was losing her hair and asked me to cut it off.”

To this day she still feels the pain of unanswered questions she has due to the lack of memories and not being able to know who her mother was as a woman. What do you do when there is nobody left to tell you about her? Claira’s mum has little to no family left, she doesn’t know who her mum’s friends were.

“Was she funny? Who was her first boyfriend? What’s the craziest thing she’s ever done? What was her childhood like? What were her hopes for me? Would she be proud of me? It’s like I don’t know the person who brought me into this world, who is essentially half of me. I feel really disconnected from her. This hurts and even as I’m writing this it makes me cry.”

What I get from Claira is this very strong sense of empathy towards others, it’s almost as if she will go above and beyond for others due to the pain she has experienced. This is something that is also very true of me, it’s the tendency to want to help others even if it’s at my own detriment sometimes. However this empathy and need to help others is not something that Claira would ever want to change.

“I feel a deep need to help others. To ensure that they never have to feel the way that I have done. I see people’s pain and it really hurts. However this journey has taught me what is possible, how much we have the power to shape, grow and make incredible lives for ourselves regardless of circumstance.”

RELATIONSHIPS & WOMANHOOD

The desperation to be loved is something we all have in common. It’s been a constant battle of not trusting anyone but dying to feel wanted, needed and safe. I think this can be dangerous because there isn’t much regard for our safety/emotional boundaries – or at least this used to be the case before we recognised it.

I personally feel as though I missed out on all the love/hugs/affection and so this has definitely played a role in the choices I have made growing up. It’s as if you disregard your instincts because the need to feel loved overrides it completely. I mean, I feel as though I have faced the ultimate rejection; at a very early stage in life and so it only makes sense that I have had unlearning to do.

I’ve always felt different to other women, almost like I know something that they don’t; as though I’ve experienced this secret world that they haven’t. It’s only now that I’ve started to talk about it and actively seek out other women who have been through what I have, that I feel like I’m not alone anymore. I still find it hard to relate to other women, it’s almost as though the stereotypical ‘gentle’ nature of women makes me uncomfortable and awkward.

Giving myself time to grieve (my mum didn’t die but something in me definitely did) and face the uncomfortable truths has been life-changing. I’m finally in a healthy relationship, with boundaries on both ends that we respect and adhere to. I have never felt more secure and for the first time in my life I am not constantly waiting for someone to get up and abandon me.

CLAIRA’S EXPERIENCE

“I desperately wanted to be loved. I felt confused, like someone had hit be round the head and I had just never been able to make sense of thing ever again. I want to see a clear path or know what I should do but I just had no sense of direction or clue of what was possible. I felt broken, incomplete and insufficient.

My self hatred and confusion about my experience ended up with me seeking attention and affection from men. Sadly though I couldn’t communicate with them as I really struggled to talk. I was having sex with men but unable to express my needs, perhaps because I didn’t know what they were but also because my communication skills were massively under developed. I so badly wanted to no longer feel alone.

What is womanhood? I don’t know if I really know now. I always felt disconnected from women. I didn’t really know how to relate to adult women. I had to learn that. I always just felt less than, incomplete. These words and themes come up a lot for me when talking about the absence of my mother. I learnt only because my friends and I became adult women. Prior to that I really just thought I needed to be attractive to find love to feel ok. Which is really sad but that’s what I thought it was to be a woman. I always feel like an outsider. Even now. I feel like I’m not a real women or a real grown up. It’s something I have to continually work on. Comparing myself to people I know who grow up with a mum I would say I am less balanced.

I would not be this version of me if it was not for my experiences. I also lost my sister to breast cancer. After this it was discovered I have the BRCA1 gene mutation so I had a preventive double mastectomy. After everything I am now in a space where I have a very strong sense of self. This was discovered out of necessity. My life was such a mess mentally and emotionally for such a long time and because my experiences where extreme I knew I had to make changes. After my sisters death finding a sense of peace and love for myself became imperative. I knew that no matter how long it was going to take I had to find a way to be ok.

I have a strong understanding of the powers of self love, self belief and self confidence which I feel we all have a birth right to. My mum’s death and her absence have shaped me and my life. Accepting that this is my life, there is no if’s or but’s has allowed me to take responsibility for myself and my life and really start living it. “

ROLE MODELS AND SOCIETY

My dad was my main caregiver and he did his absolute best but let’s face it, the dads who stay behind and take care of their children aren’t discussed often either. What he did know how to do was cover my practical needs, for this I will forever be grateful but this meant that sometimes he was emotionally unavailable.

These discussions were not being had period. Not with us, not around us and definitely not in society as a whole; not in the same way absent-fathers were discussed. I’ve had conversations with my own dad about this recently and he expressed that he struggled in the same way because of the lack of discussion around this. He didn’t know where to turn to for advice, he didn’t know any other men immediately around him that could relate to this. This resulted in him not even recognising that he needed advice on this on the first place – in his eyes he was doing every he should and would be doing had my mum never treated me in this way/left me.

I was fortunate that my grandma was there during this transition; she was my source of love and support and this cushioned me as the rest of my world was crumbling. Although she died only a couple of years later, having her was vital to me as I was able to experience that maternal guidance first-hand.

Growing up I had a couple of close friends whose mothers did embrace me into their lives and I always felt welcome. I had one close friend growing up whose house I had dinner at every night for at least 3 years, I was never made to feel like a burden. It provided me with routine and again, without this I might have felt the loss of my mum even more deeply.

Being able to witness these healthy mother-daughter relationships pushed me into me realising just how much my own mum had wronged me and that was painful; to the point where I sometimes stayed away.

CLAIRA’S EXPERIENCE

“The day my mum died I think my whole family kind of died and was reborn because nothing was ever the same. Everything changed and everyone changed.

For my teenage and early 20’s I tried to cope alone because I truly felt I was alone. I missed out on the attention and affection my mum had once given me. I really didn’t know where I fitted it. I felt uncomfortable in myself, in my life and in the world. My ‘future’ or ‘what I could be’ was never even discussed or considered. I had very little guidance and so most stuff I had to workout for myself.

My Dad is a lovely man. I love him very much. He dealt with things in his own way which I know at the time he thought was best for us and him. It wasn’t. I didn’t have a role model. He did the best with what he knew at the time, as this wasn’t being spoken about; the consequence was that I didn’t get the support I actually needed but instead got the support he thought I needed.

I started my period on Christmas eve. I knew a little bit about them. I didn’t want to tell anyone so I used my pocket money to buy sanitary towels for a year or so before anyone notice. It was scary and every time something like that happened I was reminded of how much I wanted my mum back. It was always very emotional.

As far as role-models go, I just don’t think I’ve ever had that. I started reading books, trying therapy and doing all I could from the space I was in to achieve some kind of equilibrium. Everything else took a back bench because I started to realise that until I raised myself to a level playing field internally nothing else would have balance, nothing else would make me feel whole and nothing else would allow me to finally feel happiness. “

LET’S TALK ABOUT IT

It’s like we all power through life, not just because we have to but because we know we deserve to thrive; then Mothers Day comes around and we breakdown.

There are some fundamental and obvious problems that need addressing; it all starts with having open and honest conversations. We can be the women to each other that we have so been in need of. What’s clear is, the loss of our mums has shaped our lives and we owe it to ourselves to continue unlearning behaviour that only hurts us further.

I think after all 3 posts, I will do a final one to fully analyse what we have all had in common. I do think it’s important to remember that when we are talking about absent-mums, there are also young girls/women out there whose mothers left them without a say or choice in the matter due to death. Whether our mothers chose to leave or have died – we still had to navigate life without them and we have all been shaped by this.

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witchqueenofthemoon · 5 years

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GIVE ME MY SIN AGAIN Part 1

Millory Forbidden Love/Alternate Timeline AU

Inspired by this moodboard @ghostwithangeleyes made. In this hypothetical timeline Mallory went back in time to a period after Michael grew up in the hopes that she can still help redeem him from evil; Michael is in the process of creating the Cooperative but this is before the apocalypse/bombs. She and Michael develop a fascination with one another; while Michael attracts a following as the son of Satan, Mallory has been trying to fight her desire for him and throwing herself into her studies at Miss Robichaux’s, hoping she can find some kind of spell to ward off the worst. But the grip of desire is strong; and one day she receives a secret message, ardent and imploring, from an admirer who can no longer stand to watch her from the shadows…

Not sure how long it’s going to be at this point. Two or three parts planned so far. I might switch POVs between Mallory and Michael for each part; this one is Mallory’s POV.

PART ONE

Mallory closed the door to her room behind her, as quietly as she could, hoping against hope none of her sisters had noticed her in the hall. She had to read the note alone; it was imperative that no one saw her with it. It had been tucked into the inner pocket of her satchel bag; when she’d left the cafe, she’d reached into it for a mint and her hand closed around the thick piece of parchment instead. Her heart had thudded with surprise, disbelief; she’d noticed no one around her who she knew, had gone through her bag that morning and the paper had not been there. She swallowed slowly, suddenly afraid. Dare she even hope? She thought of the way Michael’s impossibly intense blue eyes had gazed at her when she’d accompanied Miss Cordelia to Hawthorne’s two months ago; the firelight had flickered over his soft lips and angular jaw, his golden curls, and she knew he was staring at her, an invisible but deeply powerful line extending in that instant between them, as if he felt the future she had come from. What, what is it? She wanted to ask him. How can you look at me that way? As if somehow she were naked in front of him and he was mesmerized. But indeed, he was mesmerized. He was fascinated. He had smiled at her, what a beautiful, terrible smile, as though he’d bitten into a ripe fruit and the juice was running from his mouth; somehow obscene and achingly erotic, and she had blushed deeply, looking down. When she dared look back up at him, he was staring still, and even in a room full of warlocks and witches, she knew he only saw her; somehow, she just knew.

She’d felt him in her mind.

Hello. I’m Michael. Who are you? What’s your name? Please tell me.

She’d covered her mouth to stifle the gasp; Cordelia was preoccupied deep in conversation with Ariel, and she had not noticed her protege’s disbelief. Somehow, he was inside her, somehow, she could hear him as clearly as if he were whispering in her ear, though they were on opposite sides of the cavernous front hall. How could he do this? He’d not been able to in the future she came from; the threads of time seemed to be shifting in a different direction, and she was lost in the shift.

She had answered him with a boldness and curtness she had not necessarily felt; Mallory. Get out of my head.

How else can I tell you how beautiful you are, here in this crowd?

She had tried to swallow the lump that rose in her throat with immediacy; she felt stunned. This Michael had to be an extremely powerful warlock to intrude into her thoughts this way; even more powerful than he had been at the other time, in that other timeline.

That’s bold of you.

I can see only such boldness would be a match for a witch as powerful as you are. I’ve never seen anything like it, the power coiled inside of you. It’s amazing. You are truly my equal. Mallory; whatever are you? You’re wondrous.

She had not known how to reply, even in her head, at that. Her powers were something even she felt she barely understood; the things she felt compelled to do without thinking about them, the spells she performed, she had not been taught. She just knew them, like she’d been born with their incantations seared into her bones. And as Michael spoke into her mind, she felt he knew the origin of those powers from her, and it made her cold and hot at the same time; freezing with her fear of her own nature, desperately trying to block him from knowing where she had come from--the future, the future to destroy him--burning in the intensity of his impossibly blue eyes, caught there like a small animal in a fiery trap.

But he had not seen it that day, it seemed--he seemed entirely distracted by her, Mallory herself, and what she saw in his eyes was not mistrust or suspicion, but fascination, intoxicated cupidity, yearning, a rapturous want.

Michael’s true nature had come about later to the Coven, of course; she had not spoken to him again before it was revealed that he was the Destructor, the son of the Devil. In her bed at night, she thought of the way he had caressed her mind, and shuddered in the desire she felt; to want such a cruel person, she could not reconcile. Hadn’t she come back with Tempus Infinitum to destroy him? But she also knew that despite this terrible outward self, Michael had a glowing hidden nature of goodness, for she had seen it when he melded into her mind, as quickly and softly as a bird’s fluttering wing. And as she had hoped to save him rather than kill him--as she had stayed here, in the past--she felt also that killing him was something she could no longer do, now that she had seen the light in him.

And now, weeks later, she knew who the letter was from.

Her hands trembled as she lifted the folded, thick paper; her eyes couldn’t help but move to the bottom, and there she saw his name, and her heart lept. Yours alone, Michael.

Mallory,

I’ve tried not to think of you; you’re a witch in the coven of my sworn enemy, this I know, and yet, I can no longer fight what I feel. I have to see you, or I think I’ll die. On the night of the full moon, two days from now, there will be an infernal ball at the home of a rich patron of my Father. I’ve written its address below. Wear a gown and a mask; you will be safer this way, harder to spot in the crowd of those who would do you ill if they knew you. I will not let you come to any harm. I ache to speak to you, to see your sweet face, to touch you if you would allow me, I cannot forget you, you’re burned into my mind like a song that plays again and again and begins to drive me mad. I’m infatuated with you; I think I’m in love with you.

Please come, I beg you. I must see you.

Yours alone, Michael

For two days she paced in agony and nerves back and forth in her room, barely emerging to eat, telling her sisters she was ill. For she was ill; heartsick with the letter that had secretly been tucked into her belongings, heartsick with the ache of his words. To fall in love with the Antichrist--what could she be thinking? And yet she knew it was happening. She had felt that glow of light inside him, knew it was there, could she be the key to coaxing it out of him? She had to try. The letter was a plea for his soul. She knew this in her bones.

She had enchanted her gown; taken a long-sleeved black lace dress that hugged her hips out of her closet, moved her magick through it to create a great, trailing skirt, lacings of crimson red through the chiffon, and she’d shivered as she did it, knowing what she wanted in her heart; his eyes on her again, with that same look, wanton desire. That was what she wanted, and she would bring it forth again, for she ached and hungered for it; she wanted him. He had asked for her; had begged her. She wondered what else he might ask her for, beg her for; every nerve in her body seemed to be vibrating, she wondered if she might just fly out of her skin, her spirit reaching up to touch the huge full moon that hung in the window like a great glowing lamp. She felt unhinged, dizzy at the prospect of seeing him alone; wondered if she could possibly resist him, and she felt, in her dark shadowed hidden heart, that she could not, and did not want to; she wanted to give in, come what may, wanted him, terribly. She had bought a Mardi Gras mask at an occult shop, enchanted it too to make herself appear different under it, to truly mask her nature, a useful charm she seemed to know without having read it in a spellbook. Among Satanists, one could not be too careful. But she knew how to exclude Michael from the spell; she weaved into it the sight for him alone, strong sight to see her, recognize her among strangers.

Her heart seemed to be stuck in her throat as she managed to escape through the back hall of the Academy; with a little distraction spell, she’d glamoured her sisters into indulging in ice cream and magick games in the living area, and she could hear their laughter, Madison’s curt, dry voice rising over Zoe’s soft, calm one, Queenie’s scoff, Coco fussing over the snacks. She felt guilty for using magick on them, but she could not quell the aching of her heart; she’d read Michael’s letter over and over, two dozen times, and her body was vibrating with an intensity that frightened her. She had to see him; there was nothing else to be done.

The house was not a house; the house was a mansion, a palace, belonging to a rich politician who everyone knew by name; a henchman of the Devil. Security wore masks themselves, black and emotionless, as though they were statues, lined on either side of the stairs. Mallory gathered her skirts and ascended the marble steps that led to the double doors, willing herself not to fall or turn and run, and the soundless men pushed them wide for her, asking no questions. They seemed to only half-see her, and their masks betrayed nothing of their feelings or thoughts. The whole of time seemed to be rushing her onwards, towards something she could not yet see.

Inside there was a cacophony of sounds and smells, wild laughter, hundreds of bottles of Perignon stacked to the hundred glittering chandeliers that hung overhead, each one emblazoned with a thousand crystals. Here was riches she had never seen; a wildness hung in the air, a Dionysian chaos seemed to push at her temples, and she felt as though it would force her to the ground; the energy was vibrant, but sinister, evil simmering just beneath the surface. Two staircases rose on either side of a dais that served as the centerpiece of the room; and upon the dais was a gold chair, a chair that was like a throne, embellished with twin horned goats at the arms, and in the chair sat Michael.

His chiseled jaw rested on his curled hand, elbow resting against one of the goat heads; his eyes were far away, a languidness apparent in his body, as though his thoughts were quite distant from the wild party that surrounded him, fixated on something else; she knew, fixated on her, though he had not seen her yet. His gold-chestnut hair curled around his sublimey handsome face, his full lips, straight nose and heavy-lidded blue-gray eyes, dusted with blood red shadow. A long gold chain hung against the deep blacks he wore, coat made of velvet, shirt of silk with a high collar, and the pendant was the infernal pentagram, sign of his Father. He wore long black leather boots that came to his upper thigh, one foot straight, the other at an angle, his legs slightly parted, disinterested, discontent. His pants were leather, outlining his strong thighs and his manhood with subtle salacity. He truly looked like the son of the Devil; Michael was the Prince of Darkness, profane in his unearthly beauty.

His eyes scoured the room, and she fought the urge to hide. She rested against a nearby table, brimming with sweet meats and verdant fruits and a hundred bottles of wine, feeling immediately dizzy with their rich scent. She reached out to a glass of richest carmine, bringing it to her lips in desperation, drinking it down in a fury of nerves. When she had finished, opening her eyes again (she had not noticed she’d shut them as she drank, in her nervousness), she knew; his eyes were on her now. He had seen her. She felt him.

She looked up slowly, darkly shadowed eyelids fluttering--and was immediately mesmerized by the power in his blue ones, boring into her. He had shifted, his body tense now, upright, coiled; at long last what he so desired was here. Mallory, he breathed the outline of her name, she saw his lips move, felt him in the crevices of her thoughts. You came.

A tremor seemed to move through the earth between them.

Meet me outside. In the garden; through the side-door. She saw his head cock slightly to the left; moving her eyes only, she saw the glass french doors and the trees and plants beyond, illuminated by moonshine. Gulping, the taste of the rich red wine still coating her throat, she replied in her mind: Yes. Come quickly.

She saw his eyes flash; felt a rush of hotness that came from the core of his body, falling over her like a wave. She had thrilled him; she had kindled a rush of hope and fervor in him with her words. Come quickly. Come to me.

She looked away from him, though she could feel the intensity of his eyes follow her as she moved to the door; the guests seemed not to notice her, wrapped up in their wild revelry, screaming with laughter, intoxicated with their own lusts. She pushed through the glass door, and the night air enveloped her with its nectars and scents, and she breathed deeply, gasping, the evil aura of the house lifted off her in a fell swoop. She moved out into the courtyard there, a fountain in the center, featuring a marble visage of the Baphomet, Horned One, water cascading from His upright hands. This place belonged to Michael’s Father, and she felt the danger of it, the seething energy of darkness. It wasn’t just the wine she’d drunk; it was this place that made her intoxicated. It was Michael; and not just his light. His blackness, his void, it wanted to pull her in, devour her in ecstacy. She looked up at the face of the moon, feminine and knowing, white and wild and serene, and whispered a silent prayer to it: blessed Goddess, help me save him. Blessed mother, maiden, crone, help me to pull the light out of him. For I love him.

“You are extraordinary,” a voice, his voice, breathed from the shadows that held nightshade and belladonna, sweet hanging flowers, lemon trees. “I’ve never seen anyone as luminous as you. Never.”

“Michael,” before she even knew she had murmured his name. Her hands came up to her stomach, knotted there, as if to keep her heart from falling down into it, to keep her breath from vanishing from her lungs. She turned towards where his voice came from, turned her back on the moon. “You asked me to come. But I...I don’t know if I should have.”

He lingered in the shadow for another moment, and she could feel his impossibly blue eyes as if he were touching her with them, could feel them searching under her skin, could see the moonlight shimmering on his golden curls, around the crimson smoke of his eyelids. “I am so glad that you did. I don’t have words for how happy you’ve made me, Mallory...”

He stepped out from the shadows, and though she’d seen him in the resplendent light of the hundred crystal chandeliers of the banquet hall, he seemed even more beautiful now; seemed inhuman, like the portrait of an angel cast down from god’s light, terrible in his beauty, frightening her with such intensity of desire she felt a wild laugh bubble under her lips. He scared her badly, and she wanted him more than anything she’d ever wanted. So much that it made a sparkle of madness burst through her thoughts; so much that she stopped breathing for a moment, frozen in his openly lustful gaze.

He continued to step towards her until he stood a mere foot away, the moon scattering over his tall form; he reached out, slowly but with intention, and his long fingers, much larger than hers, brushed against the back of her hand and arm, still clutched to her stomach. She shivered. His mouth was open ever-so-slightly, and a curl of gold had fallen across his brow, eyes dazzling her like a storm’s path through an inky sky.

“May I touch you?”

He whispered this, fingers hovering above where he’d already grazed her arm, and she felt every fine hair there standing on end; she felt as though she’d been touched with a brand there, burned to an ecstatic edge. She could see the way her hair shimmered in front of her bosom, a tiny shuddering, and knew she was shaking. Her head came only to his shoulders, so she had to look up into his face, her cheeks burning. He was suddenly so close, but his hands still hovered just above her skin; he waited, as if he were a bird of prey about to snatch some tiny creature in a moment, and time seemed to stop as her lips parted, red and aching.

Her voice was quiet, but firm. “Yes. Touch me.”

His hands were strong, she could feel the muscle ripple through his arm, but he was gentle at first. He laid one over the hands she still had clasped against her belly, and the other he laid, hot as scalding water and just as fluid, against her waist, above the curve of her hip but below the curve of her breast, almost reaching to the small part of her back, and she gasped, she could not stop herself. He looked down into her liquid hazel eyes, his head cocked ever-so-slightly, the overwhelming musk of his body enveloping her, and they both felt it; they felt the earth moving; felt time grinding gears down to an impossible halt, felt the hand of fate settle on them, heavy as death, breathtaking as a starry night sky, full to bursting with the weight of countless universes. Destiny paused.

They stood that way, both breathing quietly against each other, savoring the smell and heat of each other.

“Michael,” she whispered. “Kiss me.”

She saw the flash of his eyes; a sort of crescendo, felt the heat ripple off of him like the burst of a bonfire; felt the invisible line between them tighten and curl inward, and then suddenly his full lips were on hers and his mouth was open and he tasted like the cold night air and the damp earth and the hot harshness of ash and the scent of dark roses and a small moan escaped from her, involuntary and immediately drunk on him, his hands were on her throat, scalding her with a rushing tide of sensation, each print of his fingers a harsh pearl pressing into her skin, needy to be closer, to be inside her. Her hands came around the velvet of his coat, and she could feel the strength of his body and bones beneath it, and she couldn’t stop it; she pressed herself against him, her laces blending against his silks and velvet until they could feel the shiver of each other’s skin beneath. He turned his head the better to taste her, his tongue slipping against hers, and she opened her mouth to let him in, her heart ramming into her ribs, threatening to burst free. His hands moved from her sensitive neck to her hair, his beautiful long hands, cradling the base of her skull, holding her mouth against his with ardent immediacy. They broke free from each other, gasping, and she could feel him shivering in her arms, too.

“Mallory, I...I have wanted to do that since I first saw you...I--”

She shushed him, lifting her face to his again, capturing his bottom lip in her mouth, causing his words to bleed into a groan that thrilled her. His terrible beauty had softened in her arms; she could see his eyes glimmering with moisture, the fine cascade of his lashes, the outline of tawny gold stubble on his jaw, the nervous bobbing of his throat; this dark prince was in her arms and she was intoxicated with the desire she could feel coming off him into her on waves of strong magick, a powerful spell they seemed only half-aware they were weaving. She could see tiny flashes of his thoughts, somehow; could see his dream of laying her down under the lemon trees and kissing her to nakedness, kissing her between the folds between her legs at the sweetness of her clit, and she felt wetness gather there with immediacy, her lust quickening.

They heard voices approaching; wild, laughing, reveling voices. Coming their way.

She saw Michael’s eyes go wide with worry as he pulled away from her, felt his strong hands grab hold under her arms and push her, gently, away from him. She felt immediately cold and sorrowful; to be torn so abruptly from the blistering shadow of his energy was like being cut from a warm cocoon, and she hated it.

“Go, they musn’t see us, not yet...Mallory, I will come to you, tomorrow, after nightfall--”

She rushed to his face and kissed him quickly, once, twice, three times, and his tongue tangled against hers, and she felt an ache such as she’d never felt before, like she was leaving part of her soul behind with him, like she would never be whole again now, and a dreadful, wonderful hand grasped at her heart; his hands, large, hot, long-fingered, scorching her heart, scarring it forever.

“Tomorrow--” she whispered against him, and his hand fell on the incline of her jaw, the space between her mouth and her ear, and pulled her face to him so her cheek clashed against his lips and he placed a burning kiss there that she felt she would feel always, tattooed in the blush that bloomed there. They let go of each other, and she turned and ran as the voices grew louder, and she heard them call out Michael’s name, “Lord, prince, there you are, your infernal presence was missed--”

And then the moon went behind a great cloud, and she ran in darkness, feeling as though she were on fire.

#millory au #give me my sin again #michael x mallory #mallory x michael #michael langdon #mallory #ahs apocalypse #ahs: apocalypse #cody fern #billie lourd #forbidden love au #millory #millory fanfic

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wehveechen · 5 years

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Re: Noblesse - Chapter 2

Takeo and Tao inform Regis and Seira of trouble. Juraki and the other werewolves regroup in a moment of quiet. Muzaka confronts Maduke.

Read also on Ao3 or FFN

Takeo I – Werewolf Island, 24th October 2012, 22:26

Family. What was family, really? Only those who were bound to you by blood, or those who had taken roots in your heart? Though they shared no blood with M-21, Frankenstein and Raizel... would they ever deny that they were more than just friends? Would they be what some might call family? On the battlefield once more, yet unlike back in the days of the Union, every single fight had meaning. Whether they protected their home or came to rescue their friend – this time, Takeo was fighting for something real. Not a lie, not a cruel game of power devised by someone with unfair power over others. Teira – no. Aris. She could not break him. He might have lost a false sister, but he won a whole new family that loved him in earnest. That's why he fought without fear – even when a blast of incredible energy almost knocked them off their feet. While Raizel and Frankenstein took care of the warriors and whatever caused this blast, they would find M-21 and get him to safety.

“I do not know the energy that lingers in the air,” Seira remarked while Regis examined traces of a battle that had taken place here just before they had arrived. The werewolf lands were vast, and they could not afford to waste time on searching in the wrong directions.

Yet something felt... amiss. From second to another, the tension of being in hostile territory was replaced by something more vague, something that felt... almost empty. Tao had frozen in his tracks, and he did the same. A couple of seconds passed before Seira and Regis came to a halt as well. “Something is wrong.” Tao was the first one to say it, and Takeo confirmed with a nod. He could feel it too - yet why could the two nobles not feel it too, then? Their senses were so much better developed than theirs.

Then, it struck him. He'd gotten so used to it, that he had no longer noticed it anymore. Now, it was the absence that felt amiss. “The Dark Spear.” This invisible tether that connected both him and Tao to Frankenstein was gone. The lingering sensation of the Spear's essence gnawing at the edges of their soul was gone – and it frightened him. “I cannot feel it either.” Tao ran a gloved hand through his hair. Sweat started to form on his forehead. This.... paired with the catastrophic battle taking place not too far from here... What can it possibly mean?

Regis approached, wringing his hands. “... there are more bad news.” Takeo swallowed hard. Just how many bad news would there be for this blasted day? He was almost afraid to hear what else was coming at them. Seira turned her eyes towards the site of the major battle.

“The Lord is summoning the Clan Leaders.” She raised one hand towards the lights in the sky above the battle site. “It is imperative that we must go and assist the Lord.”

Juraki I – Werewolf Island, 24th October 2012, 22:30

At first, Juraki has been doubtful about the physical enhancements they had gone through. They must become strong through their own efforts, like the honorable warriors of the old days. Yet when all progress stalled... when he realized that there was only way to serve their people even better than they had in the past... Though he hated it, he now stood corrected. How many lives would the invaders have claimed, had they not all accepted the new power?

While Gayare and their two initiates brought Lunark and the strange chimera to what was left of the castle, he decided to seek out other scattered groups of warriors. The fight was not over yet. He stopped by the group of three younger warriors, led by Bashum. They seemed in pretty bad shape. Juraki averted his eyes from the body of a fallen comrade. “What's the situation?” “The Nobles retreated towards the main battle in the west, all of a sudden,” a grey-haired werewolf said, sat against a rock. He was still recovering from his wound. “Why are they abandoning the fight all of a sudden?”, Bashum questioned, one hand up against his forehead. They all had wanted to be heroes – what was left of that, now?

“I tell you why they are abandoning the fight.” The four warriors turned their heads. Zaiga, one of their Elder Warriors, accompanied by one other. He must have barely gotten out of a fight as well. Just how strong were the invaders? And how many were there?! Zaiga stopped near them.

“The Clan Leaders must be joining their Lord. We should go and find ours too.” They all turned their eyes towards the heavy smoke rising from the North, where the Lord's castle stood before the assault. Gayare was headed that way – Juraki hoped that the way was clear up to there. They did not need Lunark and that modified human getting loose and recovering enough to cause even more trouble than they already had to deal with as it is.

“He must be where all that energy is coming from,” Bashum mused aloud and Zaiga confirmed with a nod. That's where the nobles have been off to – chances were, their Lord would be found there as well.

Even though this was a presumptuous thought, Juraki hoped that the Lord was not in the same difficulties they all had run into. If their Lord was overpowered too, who would be left to defend their people? A handful of exhausted warriors whose bodies were messed up after so many critical battles in rapid succession?

“Let's not waste any time.” Juraki was the first to turn and head towards the lights in the sky. “Let us gather and drive them out.”

Maduke I – Werewolf Island, 24th October 2012, 22:43

Sometimes you placed a bet and won more than you expected. Lunark had not only brought him Muzaka, but also the nobles. Maduke could not possibly have asked for a greater gift – with this invasion, the nobles offered him a perfect reason to go to war in earnest. Nevermind the castle. Those could be rebuilt. If it meant that he would be rid of his enemies at last... and if he answered such a brazen invasion, how could the Union possibly even try to condemn him? After tonight, he would be simply the Lord who protected his people.

“I cannot wait to see how Muzaka is holding up against Titan. Good work, Ignes.” Though he was feeling sour over the fact that she was almost defeated... Admittedly, they would be in trouble if she had failed to keep her promises. “Muzaka is not the one fighting him, Lord.” He had seen Ignes making that face before and it brought no good news. “The Noblesse is here.” “The Noblesse? Well, would you look at that.” he cleared his throat. “Looks like you are getting your vengeance sooner than expected. Savour it.” “The Lord is there as well.” Her words almost made him stop dead in his tracks, and Mirai almost bumped into his back as his steps slowed. The Noble Lord? He almost burst out into laughter, stuck between nervousness and malicious joy. Today was a gift that kept on giving, clearly. The Lord, the Noblesse, several Clan Leaders, and with some luck, even Muzaka. If Lunark had returned here, she must have brought him as well. Good. Let them all come – he would bury them by the time the sun rose.

The ground trembled beneath their feet as they approached the battlefield. “The Titan is almost uncontrollable,” Ignes brought up from the side. “He might rampage and attack everything and anything in its vicinity.” “Then let the nobles deal with him.” He waved his hand in dismissal. Then, they would take care of whatever would be left. Nothing on earth shall spoil this day. This brilliant woman, this divine gift, had awakened the titan and made his warriors more powerful than ever. “He might attack us too!”, she insisted, though he had no more patience left for her words. She had awakened him, and had awakened him in time. This was not the time for humility.

Oh, the Titan was... almost beautiful in a morbid way he could not grasp. There she was, the noble Lord. Was this all the power the fabled Ragnarok could muster up? “Lord! What is that?!” Mirai stared with terror, clinging to her sister's arm with fright. Of course, they could not possibly comprehend the marvel they had created. “This... is the Pride of our People.” The ultimate weapon of destruction. The most powerful creature on earth. Now that he was this close... even he felt cold at the mere thought of possibly having to face this abomination. Incredible.

“... Ser Raizel...” Ignes blinked, eyes fixated on an unmoving figure on the ground. Given the small crater that had formed upon an impact... Maduke glanced down at her. There he was, the Noblesse, her great Nemesis, flat out in the dirt like a worm. “I need to see him -” Before she could sprint off, he seized her forearm and kept her from moving any further towards the Lord's battle against the titan. “You can have a good look at his lifeless face when Titan is dealt with.”

The Noble clan leaders who arrived at the scene did not make a difference. Especially not now that the first of his warriors started to reach the battle site. This marked the beginning of the end for them. Behind him, Ignes paced up and down, restless, he could almost smell her cold sweat. Unfortunately, she was not the only one losing her composure. It figured. No one here had ever seen such a power like the Titan. Oh, the faces they all would make when they saw his true power – he almost longed for carnage, feeling as though the bloodthirsty itch possessing the other warriors was slowly spreading out to him as well.

“MADUKE!” That voice – he would recognize it anywhere. This... this must be the best day of his life. Today was the day of his ultimate triumph. With bared fangs, Muzaka approached him and his warriors at wide stride. “You! You will answer for what you have done to our people!” “Look at the traitor who returned with the people he always preferred over his own people!” Shamelessly, he pointed his index finger at Muzaka. The victor would always be the judge – and the vanquished the accused. “You! You experimented on our people! And Garda – Maduke! Answer me! What did you do to her?!” Oh. Then he had found Garda already, and Maduke felt a great and terrible anguish at the thought of not having seen that with his own eyes. Had Muzaka really killed his most loyal companion? And could he possibly have done that without knowing the extent of her loyalty and her suffering? The mere thought filled him with a wild desire to confess everything.

He wanted Muzaka to die knowing just how far his treason had gone.

Before he could even begin to unravel, an explosion nearby tore him out of focus. One of the nobles really had dared to attack them! That energy, too – No way. The noble sorcery that had brought his castle down in flames and ash. “Mirai! Urne!” He pointed his arm in the direction of the female Clan Leader who'd tried to launch an attack on them. Had Zaiga not been more attentive than him, she would have gotten them. This was unpardonable. “I want that bitch alive!”, he snarled and the twins followed his order.

“Maduke! You did not answer me, you bastard!”, Muzaka growled. Before he could charge at them, however, Ignes stepped forward and out of line. Maduke had almost forgotten she was there.

“Muzaka! Do you really want to chitchat while your friend is getting killed?!” Her words made Muzaka stop in his tracks, grey eyes widening. Of course. The Noblesse... That might be quite interesting to see. “Do you see him there?!” Ignes pointed towards the motionless figure near the Noble Lord and another clan leader. These fools were still protecting him from Titan? Unbelievable.

With a howl of anger, Muzaka did what could only be expected of him. He would need his strength to face the True Lord without embarrassing himself – but instead, he chose to join the Nobles in their fight against the Titan.

#noblesse #renoblesse #vees fanfics

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aion-rsa · 3 years

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Psycho Goreman: Steve Kostanski on Building a Better Monster

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It’s rare that a horror-comedy film gets the attention it deserves. At least, not around the time that it’s released. Even the great ones tend to be labeled a “cult classic” later on, but mastering the genre can regularly lead to bigger things. We see that happen as often as we do because horror and comedy are deceptively hard to balance, and it stands to reason that if you could pull off that balancing act once, you might be able do it again combining other genres.

Steve Kostanski has been in the movie business for the better part of two decades, mostly working behind the scenes in creature and makeup effects, but this very much feels like Kostanski’s “time” thanks to his latest movie, Psycho Goreman.

The director, who already had an established fanbase thanks to other low budget movies like Manborg and The Void, released his latest flick in the time of COVID, so it was denied what would have no doubt been a very long stretch in smaller theatres with sticky floors and worn seats – the kind that would embrace a film so “out there” that audiences might have left wondering what exactly they just witnessed.

But all was not lost, because Psycho Goreman found a home on streaming and immediately started generating a buzz anyway.

The urge to conceal some of the joys of Psycho Goreman from other people is pretty strong. It’s definitely a movie that you’ll get more out of if you don’t know what to expect, so we’ll just sum up the plot a little for those who are uninitiated: a brother and sister accidentally dig up an alien overlord who the sister discovers she can control using a magical amulet.

We talked to Kostanski about how the movie got made, how working on The Void and Manborg taught him the lessons he needed to learn to get Psycho Goreman right, and whether there might be a sequel on the way…

Den of Geek: Last month I got a text from a friend I hadn’t spoken to for ages. It just said, “You need to watch Psycho Goreman.” Nothing else, but I could tell it was a pretty serious situation, so I checked the film out and immediately recommended it to somebody else who I knew would love it. Have you found there’s been a lot of this kind of word of mouth support?

Steve Kostanski: Yeah, I’ve had a lot of people reach out to me like, “My friend recommended this randomly and it was totally crazy. So thank you for making this movie”, which is a reaction I don’t usually get.

I mean, I was expecting my usual fanbase to be into it. I thought I was making a pretty decent movie, but it seems to have spread a lot further into public consciousness than I was expecting it to, which is great. I guess that just means I made a really bonkers film that people like to talk about, so I’m pretty grateful for that.

We’ve been talking about the film quite a lot here; it comes up all the time. The attention to detail is incredible. How early on in life did the makeup and effects bug bite?

I’ve always loved movies. I was a video store kid. I was constantly renting VHS movies in the ‘90s and obsessing over them. My dad loaned me his Super 8 camera when I was 12 and I used that to do stop-motion animation because I was into special effects. I was a big fan of stuff like Star Wars, and I really wanted to emulate all my favorite movies.

Eventually, I started shooting live-action movies and did the effects and animation for those, too. It’s been a constant through my whole life of wanting to make movies and monsters and effects and just tell crazy sci-fi fantasy adventure stories. It’s always been there.

When I got out of high school, I decided I wanted to try pursuing creature effects and prosthetic effects for a living, and luckily, I was able to mentor under a prosthetic artist name Doug Morrow in my hometown of Winnipeg, Manitoba, who showed me the ropes and taught me about the actual job of doing makeup effects. That’s how I was able to pursue it as a career, while also making movies on the side. I’ve kind of been jumping back and forth between the two ever since.

One of the benefits of growing up in the ‘80s was that there were these wild sci-fi and fantasy concept movies basically on tap. They made it to completion so regularly. The shelves would be stacked with intoxicating covers and unique monster designs. You’d see an image from something like Xtro in a magazine and think “I need to see this at all costs.” It’s fair to say you’ve made a “see it at all costs” movie here. I know you name-checked Prince of Darkness as being a big influence for The Void, but what were the influences for Psycho Goreman?

It was really just a combination of my experiences growing up watching R-rated movies when I was way too young to be watching them – movies like Terminator 2. One of my earliest memories as a kid was watching that movie and being enthralled by the sci-fi action component to it.

As a kid, you’re into video games and comics and cartoons, so seeing these cool chrome robots shooting lasers is really thrilling, but then you’re also seeing people get their kneecaps shot out and get impaled through the eye. It’s that kind of unexpectedly violent and brutal realism that maybe a little kid isn’t prepared for. Psycho Goreman is me working through a bit of that trauma!

Did you learn any valuable lessons from making Manborg and The Void that ended up paying off during Psycho Goreman?

I think Manborg taught me that I have to be realistic with my ambitions on making a movie. I went into that project thinking I could feasibly make a sci-fi action epic with no money, and it ended up consuming three years of my life. So going into PG, I tried to be a little more realistic about what I could accomplish on a low budget.

The Void was a punishing experience. It hardened me a little bit and gave me more experience in working within the system, in the traditional sense of working with a crew and producers. It gave me a “worst case scenario” in every possible filmmaking situation to then carry over.

I’m a very introverted person, so The Void was a real “trial by fire” for me and forced me out of my shell. It helped me as a director – keeping everyone motivated, answering questions and just being involved and present. Not thinking like an effects artist sitting in the corner sculpting monsters all day.

Watching Psycho Goreman has become a kind of moral imperative for genre fans. Honestly, it looked like so much work went into it. How did it go from concept to final cut, and did you hit any roadblocks along the way from people who just didn’t get it?

This film was a once in a lifetime opportunity where a friend of a friend was looking to finance a feature film, and he really just bought into the “Steve Kostanski brand,” and loved my previous work and wanted me to have free reign to make the thing I wanted to make. That’s not to say that the producers didn’t chime in and have opinions on things, but they very much put their trust in me to make a movie that would be entertaining and that audiences would like.

I think I’ve always been a pop filmmaker. I love cliches and conventions and I like making things that are crowd-pleasing. I think the producers knew that. They knew that if the movie didn’t hit the mark in some way, that it would at least deliver on effects and spectacle and be crowd-pleasing. So I was very lucky to have their confidence.

It is crowd-pleasing, but still subverts your expectations. Did that happen organically while you were making it or was it always planned that way?

I always want to make a movie that would have sat on the video store shelf amongst the other movies that I loved as a kid. I wanted to make a thing that was satisfying, that delivered on its promises in a way that I felt like a lot of low-budget genre films of the past didn’t.

I wanted to make something that delivered on the epic poster art, but at the same time make something that had a familiar emotional arc, subverting it as much as possible without taking away from the satisfying kind of build up and climaxes that those types of stories have.

I feel like in this day and age, telling a conventional story is almost taboo. The idea of having a traditional story arc is frowned upon. So I liked the idea of committing to that, but then also just using it as a through-line to hang all kinds of weirdness, and go on all sorts of bizarre digressions. I also liked the idea of shocking people a little bit and lulling them into a sense of familiarity, but then doing something totally off the wall just to throw them off.

Mimi is such an interesting twist on the wholesome little girl in the creature feature. Was casting the role hard? Did you audition a lot of actors for that part?

We did a lot of auditions. It was definitely a big concern going into the movie. On the page it all read great and everybody was excited about the idea of this crazy little girl being our protagonist, but finding somebody that could pull that off definitely had the producers nervous.

Nita [Hanna] was one of our first auditions. Even though her audition performance wasn’t exactly what I was looking for, I could tell that there was a level of professionalism there that I wasn’t getting from the other auditions. So, we had her come back for subsequent auditions, and every time I talked through the role, she just got better and better.

Big question now, brace yourself: what was it like working with Rich Evans?

[Laughs] It’s such a small cameo from him! I reached out and asked if he’d be interested, and he agreed. I sent him a rough version of the scene that he’s in, and he recorded me a good like 15, 20 minutes of audio that I could just pull from. It was great. It was basically the barest minimum of interaction, but what he gave me was fantastic and I’m very thankful that he agreed to be a part of the movie because it’s a very weird choice of cameo.

You were into RedLetterMedia before you contacted him, I assume.

I’m a big RedLetterMedia fan. I watch all of their stuff and love their reviews. I’m a fan of anything that brings me back to the days of watching movies with my friends, because I feel like that’s informed who I am as a filmmaker. Watching other people shoot the shit about films and have that kind of casual discourse is very comforting and entertaining to me.

I’ve heard you’d be up for doing a Psycho Goreman sequel or a spinoff. Have there been any recent developments on that?

Nothing concrete, but there is definitely interest and people are asking about it. I think there will be more PG adventures in the future. I’d love to do more of it, I just want to figure out the smartest way forward is before actually diving into another project.

Thank you, Steve.

This interview has been edited for clarity.

Psycho Goreman is now available on DVD and Blu-ray.

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bills-pokedex · 6 years

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What are the main advantages of living in each region?

Well, that’s an unusual question, anonymous. There are quite a lot of regions out there, and each one has its own unique benefits and drawbacks, depending on what you need and what your preferences are. Even Orre, which is a desert nearly completely devoid of wild pokémon, has fascinating spots of greenery, urban oases, and its own unique analog to the Pokémon League. Conversely, regions such as Kalos, which are highly regarded as popular tourist destinations, has an incredibly high cost of living, never mind how crowded many of its urban areas are. So, really, this is a bit complicated because it really depends on what you’re looking for, and in certain cases, a region that may be seen as paradise to some might be … well, less than ideal for others.

I suppose, though, you’re referring to each of the major regions included in the National Dex, as these tend to be where the highest concentration of trainers tend to go. If that’s the case, then:

Kanto: Kanto is a highly diverse region with plenty to see and do. It has peaceful rural landscapes, plus the modern, urban meccas that are Celadon and Saffron Cities. It’s also proud of its reputation as one of the most technologically advanced and ecologically aware regions in the world, largely thanks to a combination of the efforts of major Saffron-based tech giants such as Silph and the green programs put in place by the Japanese government to protect the nation’s environment. As a result, it’s often seen as the best place for trainers to begin their journeys, as they’re often equipped with the latest pokémon tech, and they have massive expanses of peaceful, pokémon-filled rural areas to explore. It helps, of course, that Professor Oak is the regional pokémon expert, so you quite literally can’t start anywhere better. If, however, you don’t have children who might consider leaving on journeys of their own, then the main advantage of living here would most definitely be its peace. It’s not that difficult to find completely safe neighborhoods full of friendly people who watch out for each other (if you prefer populated areas) or quiet, secluded areas far from civilization (if you’re like me and … don’t prefer populated areas). Additionally, although it’s true that Kanto is technically one of the main centers of Rocket activity, at the very least, our criminal organization hasn’t yet tried to destroy the world using legendary pokémon.

Johto: At the risk of sounding quite biased, Johto is home to a rich cultural history, and it’s quite proud of it too. Every city in Johto possesses its own unique identity, founded on hundreds if not thousands of years of tradition. This isn’t to say that the region is backwards or stuck in the past, either. In fact, it’s just as advanced as Kanto, and Goldenrod City, one of the region’s crowned jewels (okay, perhaps I’m a little biased), rivals the likes of Castelia, Lumiose, and its sister city Saffron in terms of cutting-edge technology. We simply make our history a part of our everyday lives, as Johtonian tradition emphasizes learning from the past in order to better our present. And to top it all off, Johtonians are extremely friendly, largely because they’re very eager to share their culture with outsiders. It’s very easy to feel welcome when moving to Johto, even if you’re by no means a native Johtonian yourself.

Hoenn: Next to Alola, Hoenn is quite possibly the most ecologically beautiful regions one can journey through. While it’s not necessarily as remote as Alola (it is a part of the Japanese archipelago, after all), it’s home to over 100 unique species of pokémon, all of which live in abundance within Hoenn’s equally unique habitats. If you’re hoping for a bit of a tropical vacation in addition to your journey, Hoenn is an excellent choice, as it hosts miles of pristine beaches, a lush rainforest, challenging mountains to climb (including one volcano to traverse), and even its very own desert. Moreover, Hoennians are just as friendly as Johtonians, and they’re often more than happy to share their love of the rural peacefulness of their region. It is, in other words, a place where one can go to get a breath of fresh air and feel one with nature (or with other people living in it).

Sinnoh: If you’re interested in the legendary pokémon, it’s practically imperative that you make at least one journey to (and through) Sinnoh. Sinnoh is a mysterious region, home to vast expanses of rough terrain to travel through, which makes it difficult for many trainers to traverse. However, it’s more than worth it for legendary enthusiasts, as Sinnoh’s cultural identity is thousands of years older than even Johto’s and sports strong ties to the legendaries said to have woven the fabric of the universe itself. As such, there are countless ancient sites dedicated to the legends or to ancient Sinnohans, which means there is a wealth of information for the budding archaeologist or pokémonologist to explore. Otherwise, it’s also a highly mysterious region in itself, home to a number of smaller villages and secluded mountain spots, so if you’re longing for peace and quiet, Sinnoh’s an excellent choice.

Unova: On the other hand, if modern conveniences are of more interest to you, Unova is a constantly growing, constantly developing metropolis. Think of it like every city in Johto and Kanto combined; whereas both Johto and Kanto have smaller, quieter spots, most cities in Unova are exciting and full of people. It’s also a melting pot of culture, with people from all over the world coming together to add their identities to each neighborhood. For example, Unova is one of the few places where you can get Kantonian sushi, take in a Kalosean movie (in the original Kalosean language), and buy authentic Alolan statuettes essentially in the same city block. In short, you will likely never be bored in Unova. (Just … keep an eye on your wallet if you travel through Castelia.)

Kalos: Kalos calls itself the home of high fashion and art, and quite frankly, it’s difficult to argue. The region itself is home to some of the most beautiful rural landscapes outside of Alola and Hoenn, coupled with cities hosting some of the most fascinating architecture one can find. Not only that, but also, the cultural attractions located in Lumiose and Camphrier are second to none when it comes to western art, and most fashion and food trends tend to start in Kalos, thanks to the high concentration of fashion designers based in Laverre and chefs based in the very heart of Lumiose. In short, if you want a dose of western culture on weekends (or if you’re looking for awe-inspiring landscapes), look no further than Kalos. Just … be aware that rent is by no means cheap here.

Alola: Although Alola is remote yet also home to a diverse population of pokémon (meaning the species there aren’t necessarily unique to the region), it’s also one of the most fascinating to travel through. At the moment, it boasts not a gym circuit but instead an island challenge, which is a journey stocked with not only traditional battles but also challenging trials. Additionally, each island hosts its own unique habitat, ranging from tropical paradises to lofty, snow-capped mountains, and each island hosts its own unique ecosystem with separate populations of pokémon. Finally and most importantly, the people of Alola are among the most laid-back one can find among the seven regions of the National Dex. They’re extremely friendly (far friendlier than even Johtonians and Hoennians), and they’re often eager to share their unique culture with others. It’s a fantastic choice for anyone wishing for something different. Just … be aware that rent is even worse here than in Kalos.

I’m shocked that you made it through an entire post about various regions without badmouthing Unova once. —LH

I’ve sworn not to do it anymore. Apparently, it makes Amanita feel bad. —Bill

Oh. Well, in that case, allow me to give you a belated you monster. —LH

I deserve every syllable of that. —Bill

#Anonymous #asks #Kanto #Johto #Unova #Alola #Sinnoh #Kalos #our world

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northpolenotes · 6 years

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5 Most Important Tips for Babysitting Your Niece or Nephew

Babsitting vs. Visiting: They’re not the same!

If you were raised in a large family or your family is just really close, there’s one topic that many of us struggle with: setting boundaries. It can be difficult to recognize the need for distinct lines in any relationship, and sometimes even more difficult to implement them. Nevertheless, they’re important to us all. Without them, we stress and strain and our relationships inevitably suffer. There are many different scenarios where boundaries are needed as Aunts, but I’m only going to tackle one for now: Babysitting vs. Visiting.

How many of you have thought to yourself, “I’d love to provide support for my family and be their go-to babysitter?” And how many of you ask yourself “How do I be supportive without ignoring my needs?” We want to be there for our families, but we also don’t want to be taken for granted. So how do we tackle this very issue without feeling like a failure or causing a family feud?

I understand that for some parents babysitting and visiting might seem like one and the same. It’s a break no matter what. But for us Aunts, it’s different. And for those of us who don’t have children, it’s the difference between night and day.

So what is babysitting? Babysitting is when Mom or Dad have commitments and/or engagements and want or need to be kid free for a period of time. And who should they call upon as their most trusted babysitter? Well, if they have the option, an Aunt is a great choice for this very task. We’re a trusted resource for parents and it’s also a great way for us to build strong bonds with our niblings (especially the younger ones).

Win-win, right? Wrong. This is where having that close relationship could come to bite you in the butt. Because we’re close, we often don’t ask questions or set limits on time. And sometimes we don’t want to be the babysitter (it happens). Yes, there are times when we say yes solely because we feel guilty. And this is where we could get into trouble.

Visiting is completely different. What defines a true visit? It’s our time as Aunts to take the reins and do something special with our niblings. We make the plans, set the days and times, and have parent-free fun. This what I like to refer to as, “just-us” time, not babysitting. Whether it’s a full day and sleepover or just a few hours together, it’s desired time spent together and not a favor for their parents. Don’t get me wrong, I personally have a lot of fun babysitting my niblings, but the main motivation is to provide support to their parents. However, “just-us” time is to nurture the relationship we have with our niblings. It has nothing to do with parents.

Many Aunts aren’t paid to watch their niblings, but that doesn’t mean we should be treated differently than someone who would be. Here are some babysitting guidelines to form those necessary boundaries with family:

1.) Request that whenever possible that plans be made with you at least one week in advance.

Sometimes things will come up and they’ll need a last minute babysitter. If you’re anything like me, you’ll say yes because you LOVE your nieces and nephews. However, asking for some notice allows you to plan for their stay, both physically and mentally.

2.) Once you’ve established a day, ask about how much time they’ll need you for.

Again, this is preparation for you and it allows you to have a clear understanding of how much attention they’ll need from you. If you’re only needed for an hour or two that’s not that big of a deal. However, if it’s a sleepover, you’ll definitely want to know that information in advance.

3.) Ask about food.

Just about every kid I know has some issue with eating. Some are much pickier than others. It’s imperative to know if you’re responsible for feeding them. What foods have they crossed off their list this week? “Can the ketchup go on top of their french fries or do I need to put it on the side?” “Only apple slices (not whole apples) cut up to form a daisy with peanut butter in the middle?” Right. I was never a fussy eater, but my sister and brother needed a handbook to go along with their eating habits. Similarly, my sister’s children have a lot of food rules. I’ve learned the hard way. I usually ask my nieces and nephews questions while I’m preparing their food questions, but it’s also nice to get a heads up.

4.) Plan an activity and have a Plan B option.

You might have a night of crafting, cooking, baking, and bedtime stories planned, but sometimes life gets in the way of what we originally had intended. We’re not always in the right head space for that much activity (especially on a weeknight). If you’ve got the energy go for it. But if you’ve had an awful day at work, your 20-minute commute turned into an hour and 45 minutes, and then you finally walk into your house only to find your toilet bowl is overflowing, Plan B will save the day. Have some movies picked out ahead of time, mac and cheese on the shelf, or a few takeout menus set aside for dinner. It’ll be a life-saver.

5.) Don’t be afraid to say no.

This is probably the hardest one to implement when it comes to family, but also one of the most important. You’re allowed to say no to them. In fact, if you don’t, you might wind up resenting them. So start incorporating this word into your vocabulary to set healthy boundaries.

It’s not often that I say no to my sister or cousin when they need help with their kids because of the lifestyle that I maintain now. However, I used to teach preschool kids sports and fitness all day long for years. When my sister would come for a visit, I’d sometimes struggle with watching her kids because I was worn out. I wanted my sister to be able to have a night out (she lives out of state so she rarely sees her friends). On the other hand, I had just spent the day entertaining between 50 to 100 children and I was exhausted. We worked it out so that I’d only babysit on nights when I had a light schedule or when I wasn’t teaching at all during the day.

Babysitting your niece or nephew is one of the best ways to start forming a healthy and meaningful relationship with your niblings. If given the opportunity to be there for your family in this manner, I highly recommend it. However, don’t forget that you have needs too. Setting boundaries and having open communication before you make any plans can make for much better experiences for years to come.

P.S. Are you an Aunt? Ever wondered what kind of Aunt you are? All Aunts are wonderful and deserve recognition! Take the Enchanted Aunt Quiz to find out what kind of Aunt you are! Click here to get started.

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