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#and it would just be stupid shit to make them laugh
zanarkandskylines · 2 days
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listening to fortnight got me thinking about bakugo and reader having a very brief fling, something that happened in the past during their 20s, but stuck with both of them for years.
i touched you for only a fortnight i touched you, but i touched you
fast forward to living in the same city, the two of you now in your 30s and end up becoming neighbors by happenstance. you're both married to other people since you only talked in shared friend group settings after said fling.
all my mornings are mondays stuck in an endless february
you watch his wife water her flowers in the garden out back while making coffee in the kitchen every goddamn morning. you have no clue why it irks you so much, that the sight of her stupid smile makes you wanna punch her lights out.
occasionally, you run into bakugo at your mailboxes after a long day at work. small talk is the only thing you two can muster - a comment about the weather or harmless compliments about each other's appearance.
"sure rained like hell yesterday."
"nice sweater, your wife buy it for you?"
"god, it's too fucking hot today."
"that dress looks nice on ya."
one night, both of your spouses are away when a storm comes raging through the city. your power goes out, leaving you in the dark because your stupid husband forgot to replace the generator. from your windows, you see bakugo's household has power and decide to hightail it over for some company.
he answers the door with a confused look on his face. "the fuck you doin' in the rain? get in here!"
bakugo makes you a coffee to share with him in the kitchen, bullshitting through the night like you used to do as twenty somethings. it felt natural, your heart soaring as you watched him laugh and retell jokes from the past. when the conversation died down, you blurted out something you didn't plan to vocalize to anyone.
"i think my husband's cheating. sometimes i just wanna kill the bastard."
caught off guard by your admittance, bakugo quirks an eyebrow at you in response. "little extreme, but i'm sure that could be arranged."
"would be cheaper than a damn divorce. that asshole would take everything from me."
he snickers, taking another sip of his coffee. "think my wife's doin' the same. comes home late and shit, never can tell me why."
"how'd we get stuck with this shit luck?" you retort, forcing a laugh from your tightened chest.
"could be worse. we're neighbors, that's fuckin' lucky for me."
i love you...it's ruining my life.
"oh? i'm starting to think that's not a coincidence anymore."
bakugo sets his mug on the countertop, turning to face you while crossing his arms over the broadness of his chest.
"might'a convinced my wife to move here. thought maybe we could be friends again."
"so you bought a fucking house next to me instead of just calling to go to dinner?" you ask mockingly, a smirk on your face as you awaited his bullshit answer.
he shakes his head with a grin of his own. "sure did."
i love you...it's ruining my life.
"how come you never ask or invite me over then? we're literal neighbors, kats."
"pretty sure my wife's scared of ya. plus, i want time with you, not us."
that makes your heart skip a beat.
"hell of a way to say you miss me." you pause before setting your own cup down on the counter. "i'm glad you're here."
"me too."
right as he's approaching you, the front door swings open.
"babe, i'm home!" his wife calls, handful of shopping bags. she sees you standing in the kitchen aside bakugo - you give her a soft wave.
"oh, hi. i didn't expect company tonight."
"her dumbass husband forgot to replace their generator. just helpin' her out."
she gives him a glare, tilting her chin up at him, almost condescendingly, as she assesses his answer.
"how unfortunate. stay as long as you need, i'm gonna go put this away."
and with that, she leaves for their bedroom to unload her shopping haul. once she's out of earshot, you turn to bakugo and chuckle under your breath.
"oh yeah, she hates me."
bakugo rolls his eyes. "let her be miserable, it's her strong suit. come on, let's go take'a look at that generator."
the generator works just fine, you unplugged it before coming over.
you were curious if there was a spark leftover between you two, only to find the fire was not only stoked, but never fully extinguished.
blasty tags; @slayfics @maddietries @queenpiranhadon @starieq ✨
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crybaby-bkg · 2 days
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wanna bug Toji soooo bad while he’s on the phone. his ass doesn’t have a job so it’s not like he’s discussing important business, but he likes to make it look that way. phone tucked between his shoulder and ear as he uses one hand to rub circles on your exposed thigh, the other flipping through the tv channels. he’s speaking in a low tone, his eyebrows mused together in agitation as he calls the guy on the other line a barrage of insulting names.
and you’re just a simple person—the man looks hot as fuck like that and you just have to bother him. so you do, despite the side eye he gives you when you swing your leg over, foot in the air, right in his face. he swats you away gently before going back to his phone call, bites at your toes when you still try to wiggle them in his face.
"If you think you can lowball me like that, then you're stupider than I thought." Toji grunts to the other man on the phone, distracted once more. a little peeved that his attention isn't on you much anymore, you do what any little conniving imp would do.
you sit on his lap. backwards, facing the TV, looking over your shoulder at him with such an evil little grin that it makes his eyes squint to you in warning. but you've never listened much, especially when you know you'll be rewarded so plentifully in the end.
so you rock your hips, just slightly the first few times. your legs sat on either side of him, hands resting in the space between his legs on the bed, leaning your weight back on his hips that you sit against. instantly, you can feel the swell of him beneath his sweats, feel the thickness that you love to fill you up start to twitch when you circle your hips, grinding them oh so slowly against his covered cock.
when you look over your shoulder again, Toji only stares, the slightest lilt of his lip turning up at the corners. he tries to act unbothered, one arm bent back to rest his head against, the other holding the phone to his ear. but you can see through him, and feel just how bothered he really is.
so you up the ante; start to lift and drop your hips slow, slow, slow at first before the pace begins to build. you lean forward on your elbows, pull your underwear up until the curve of your ass is exposed, gasping from the friction, from the feeling of his cock rubbing so sweetly at your slit through the thin cotton.
you look over your shoulder once more, grinning, biting at your lip as you grind against him, close to completion. he can see it all in your eyes.
"Gonna call you back later. Got some important shit to take care of right now." Toji hangs up without preamble, gaze distant as he focuses on the ever growing spot of your arousal that starts to leak onto his own sweats.
but you're a little minx, with the way you scramble from his grasp before he can catch you, laughing when he snags your ankle to drag you back down. he's suddenly kneeling over you, grin sharp and ferocious, the straining of his cock through his sweats hanging so intimidatingly low, that if you lift your hips just a little, his tip would kiss your clit in the sweetest kiss.
"And where do you think you're going, you little brat?" Toji growls, dropping down to nip at the base of your neck, licking over your pulse point.
"Not letting me off the hook that easy, huh?" you tease, hands splayed beside your head in surrender, just wanting a little bit of the chase before the devouring. and by the look in his eyes, you know you'll only be bones by morning.
"Not in a million years." he promises right before the inevitable pounce.
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𝙸 𝚍𝚘𝚗'𝚝 𝚠𝚊𝚗𝚗𝚊 𝚑𝚎𝚊𝚛
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Pairing: Exotic Dancer!Bucky Barnes x Plus Size!Reader (no mention of gender or ethnicity)
Summary: Hi, you've reached [your name]. I can't come to the phone right now, please leave a message after the beep!
w/c: 3.7k
warnings: cheating (on reader), lots of cursing, smoking, heavy drinking, weed smoking, body image issues (I'm sorry), this is a smutty fic (but there’s no smut), dry humping. Please let me know if I missed anything <3
a/n: This is the first fic I've posted in years lmao, I'm a bit rusty, but omfg I enjoyed writing this so much, it's very self-indulgent hehe I hope you love it just as much as I do.
this is not beta'd, any and all mistakes are my own.
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Likes, comments and reblogs are deeply encouraged🥺
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7:51 PM
“Baby please, You know I’m an idiot…she means nothing” Jake whined through the phone. 
As of 5 hours ago, he became your ex but kept on calling you, each call pleading for your forgiveness and saying the same stupid excuse “I felt you pulling away, what was I supp-”
Before you could interrupt him yourself, your best friend and roommate took your phone “Listen closely you little shit, if you don’t stop calling I’ll personally chop off your balls, fry’em up and feed them to your mother in a fucking salad… it’s Wanda by the way” she huffs as she hands you back the phone, “Colorful” you grimace.
Shoving you inside the car, with you and Wanda on the back, Bruce behind the wheel and Tony as co-pilot, “Why do you even answer his calls?” Tony asks while Wanda lights up a Marlboro, and gives you a drag “Because I want to tell him to go fuck himself… I- I just can’t seem to find the right words”, “That seems right” Wanda quips and you roll your eyes, “Don’t worry you’ll find the words when the time’s right” Bruce adds, “Dr. Banner is right, tonight is all about getting shit-faced” Tony adds.
You all clap and turn up the volume to the perfect song “I don’t wanna hear, I don’t wanna know” Wanda sings, the wind on her face, while Bruce shouts “WE LOVE YOU MADONNA”. 
They were right, fuck Jack, tonight you wanted to let go, you weren’t one for parties or clubbing but you couldn’t stay at home feeling sorry for yourself, partying with your friends seemed like the perfect distraction “LET’S FUCKING GO” you shouted at the top of your lungs.
9:05 PM
“The Hush-Hush Hideaway?” you laughed as you finished your first beer after two cherry vodka shots, sounds like a place where 50 year olds would come to have an affair, “Alright, alright before you keep on talking trash, there is more eye to meet” Tony argues, to that Wanda snorts “are you seriously drunk right now? after three piña coladas?”, Bruce laughs “they’re stronger than they look” Tony defends himself as he stands up, signaling you all to head to the dance floor.
You honestly loved the place, the lighting was incredible, the atmosphere was hot pink with hints of dark red and deep purple, the ceiling was decorated with hundreds of disco balls shining down on you, the bar had tables so crystalline and so red, it looked like solidified blood,  each one surrounded by the comfiest leather couches. There was also the dance floor which you were dancing on now, it had the perfect stage for dancers or any kind of show, the whole place had the perfect mix of chic and urban.
10:39 PM
“This round’s on me” Tony shouts over the loud music as he hands you what would probably be your 5th drink, stumbling around as you danced to a song that suddenly became your favorite, as you downed the liquid gold you took Tony’s hand and started giving him a lap dance of some sorts which made everyone laugh along with you. 
And then everything went pitch black, for 5 seconds the music was over, lights were out, for a moment you thought you passed out but then a huge white light shone straight into the middle of the stage, “Girls Gays and Theys!” a deep voice over the microphone started, “is this a gay bar?” Bruce genuinely chimed in, making you giggle.
“Tonight we encourage you to let that wild side of yours out! Please give a warm welcome to The White Wolf” the voice cheered with excitement and the crowd roared and cheered back, “he must be really good looking” you sassed, and in that moment, red ropes descended.
Not a second later a man dressed in a kevlar suit swirled down as if swimming in the red fabric, wrapping himself in a cocoon in the air so the next second he rolled down to the stage, the top of his leathery suit gone, leaving his gorgeous toned abdomen exposed making the crowd go wild. The lights enhanced his beautiful body. “D-does he have glitter on?!” Tony shouted in awe, everyone absolutely going crazy over this tall, brown-haired, thick oh so fucking thick specimen.
On the other hand, you were finding breathing a difficult task, especially because his eyes were trained on yours, maybe it was the several drinks in your system or the empowering song that heightened everything, but his stare was intense, the ice blue of his eyes chilled your spine and for a moment you thought he was going to stop the show, come down and rip your clothes off… yeah you definitely felt tipsy now.
This man knew the power he held, not only was he drop-dead gorgeous, he had autonomy of every nerve and every muscle on his body, your heart and pussy were practically pulsing as you watched him dance. The magic was broken when you felt your phone ring in your pocket, taking it out, you saw it was Jake calling AGAIN, you knew your friends would tell you not to pick up, but part of you wanted to hear him out and scream at him, you didn’t know which one you were going to do.
Leaving the dance floor and heading to the bathrooms where you hoped it’d be quieter, you swipe to the green bubble “Please please forgive me” is the first thing the man says, making you sigh in frustration “S-top stop saying you’re sorry” but it’s like talking to a wall, you’re not even sure he heard you because he just keeps on whining. 
??:??
You don’t know how much time you spent listening to him in the bathroom but eventually, you give up and hang up on him, splashing some fresh water in your neck you exit the room and bump into a rock-hard wall, but then unexpectedly the wall starts talking and you think maybe it’s not a wall.
“it was rude to bail” a grave voice rumbles in your ear through all of the noise, looking up you see it’s the white wolf, making you almost choke on air, but you were quick enough to react and raise an eyebrow in response “sorry?”.
Without even noticing, the man had cornered you into a wall “Don’t apologize, you can make it up to me” he said with a wild smile, “oh he’s good” you thought, then he looked at you as if he read your mind, “you look like someone in desperate need to have some fun… let me give you a hand” he whispered, his confidence made you forget he was a stranger, and oddly enough it felt like you knew him perfectly, the thought of spending your night with him made you shudder.
Taking out what looked like a big fat blunt from one of his pockets, he dragged the little bundle of joy from your exposed thighs, up your arms, slowly passing through your neck, and finally grazing your soft lips, his eyes never once leaving yours, he leaned in and the smell of cedarwood with a touch of french vanilla made your eyes roll.
Man, you’re really not keeping your cool, but he’s too beautiful for you to care, you might as well pucker your lips, but then he backs away, taking your hand and leading you to the backdoor between the kitchens. The sound of music and people dancing start to disappear until it’s muffled, “are we allowed in here?” you laugh as he lights up the joint and takes a big gulp, your heart pounds with excitement, this is exactly what you needed.
Your inner demons whispered that he really wasn’t interested in you, he looked like he was sculptured by frigging Michelangelo, he’d never want to be with someone as big as you, plus you felt sweaty from dancing most of the night, but honestly, it was more about the nerves you felt around him, but just as easy as the negative thoughts came, he batted them away with a single kiss to your cheek, near enough to the corner of your lips “lost you there for a sec” he teased.
As he handed you the joint, you took it with hesitance, “I usually don’t take marihuana from strangers, you got a name or does everyone call you the white wolf?” you teased, carefully eyeing him, realizing that he was still shirtless unconsciously making you bite your lip.
A lazy smile spread on his face “Waddaya mean you don’t know me? Pfft I’m your latest conquest”, it threw you off but he looked so sincere it made the butterflies in your stomach dance, “I’m Bucky” he laughed, he was so at ease with that pretty smile you couldn’t do anything but swoon.
Taking a drag of the blunt you breathe out the smoke through your nose as you offer him your name in return,  not wasting a second he repeats it, slowly, maybe he was high but it seemed as though he enjoyed the sound of your name on his tongue, he savored it, your legs pressed against each other and you had to take another drag so not to seem desperate as you were for him.
He might be a stranger but deep down you felt unbelievable attraction, in less than 10 minutes of knowing him he made you feel powerful, and free, like maybe in a past life or somethin’ he was your soulmate… Pfft, you wanted to crack up at your own thoughts, somehow Bucky knew and started laughing, slowly leaning into you and crashing his lips with yours, it was sloppy but fuck you’d never been kissed like that, it was passionate, you felt wanted, right then and there you were ready and willing to let him swoop you off your feet.
12:59 AM 
Bucky was showing you his best moves, his calloused hands gripped and groped your body as you both swayed your hips against each other perfectly in sync.
He was so smooth, the fogginess of the joint rumbled through your body, each touch, every one of his strokes felt like a wave, you were floating in a sea of music and his scent, nothing was wrong with the world, nothing could harm you because he was right behind you, worshipping you, telling you how he loved the feel of every roll and every curve, you couldn’t help but smile and he couldn’t help but kiss that beautiful smile.
Not long after your friends found you and you introduced them to the dancer who blew their minds, some of his friends joined you, and not long after you were the life of the party, shots and blunts came pouring, and just like you wanted you became one with bucky, you didn’t know where you began or where he ended, pain and misery were a strange and unknown concept tonight.
1:55 AM
Wanda had to drag you away from Bucky to chat with you a bit, she couldn’t hide that grin even if she tried “Dude I don’t even recognize you right now” you laugh with her knowing very well what she means, squeezing her wrist you stop the urge to squeal, “I don’t know how this happened but fuck he’s just so pretty I wanna cry” you both giggle, understanding the Rachel Green reference. 
Turning to see Bucky you caught him already watching you, it looked like he was chatting with his friends but he wouldn’t look away from you, you realized he was waiting for you, and honestly you were eager to return to his embrace and intoxicating scent “Fuck Jack, you have men waiting in line” Wanda practically shouts as she pushes you back to the dance floor.
2:12 AM
After a while your social battery was low and you needed a break, so now you leaned against the wall in the back alley of the bar, a cigarette lit, resting on your fingertips as you recalled the events that brought you here tonight.
You didn’t blame Wanda for reminding you of Jake and what he did, after all, she was just hyping you, but now your mind was plagued, you memorized with detail how you found them, as some sort of self-punishment, why? you didn’t know, after years of therapy, you were still trying to unlearn self-deprecating thoughts that your family and society shoved in your face.
Jake cheating on you with a leggy blonde who was quite literally a Victoria's Secret model was a kick to your stomach, it made you realize that maybe every bad thought you had about yourself was true, and that was terrifying… 
Realizing that the cigarette burned itself out, you stepped on it, but before you could come back inside Bucky opened the door and grinned “There you are, was worried I spooked ya”, to that you chuckled, somehow the laws of social battery didn’t apply to the handsome trapeze dancer “Never”.
Stepping outside and standing next to you, he takes your hand and starts playing with your fingers “What’s got my sweet doll so down?”, you expected the pet name to make you cringe but instead swooned. Lighting another cigarette you take a drag and blow it on his face, and he just bites the smoke, making you giggle, after a beat of silence you show him your heart.
“About… 11 hours ago, my boyfriend, now ex-boyfriend, cheated on me” you sigh, trying with all your might not to shed a single fucking tear, Jake didn’t deserve them, “Gimme his address” he deadpans, a look so deadly in his eyes, that spark was almost snuffed, but just as quickly his attitude changed, “I’ll kill 'im with my bare hands, I’LL FUCKING KILL ’IM” he shouts with foux determination, making wild animal noises that are making you laugh so hard you can’t breathe “you’re not funny” you say out of breath.
His thumb cleans away a single runaway tear, his touch is so gentle at first you’re not even sure he’s holding you, he’s so close you feel his breath on your cheek and his nose caressing your skin oh so lightly, “you’re dreaming”, you think incredulously. 
In a second his touch becomes rough as he grips your face with both his hands, holding you still so you can’t look anywhere but his eyes, “he’s a fucking moron” he spits out, almost insulted, “and I don’t mean a jerk or plain stupid, I mean he’s missing some fucking brain cells to let go of someone so insanely beautiful as you”.
Your heart’s pounding in your ears, you’re about to explain but he cuts you off “And I don’t even need to know him, to be sure of what I’m telling you right now” he scoffs,  “Hell, I don’t even have to know you to be sure, in the very short time I’ve known you, you’ve been everything” bucky almost can’t believe he’s saying this to you, suddenly the tension is palpable and neither of you can breathe… 
“You’re driving me insane” is the last thing he says before pushing you against the wall, with a grunt he grips your waist and your lips crash with his, in a fight for dominance your tongues swirl, it’s as if Jake or any other man never existed, washed away by the ocean that is Bucky. 
You loved how vocal he was being, he moaned into the kiss as you practically humped him, he bit your swollen lips as a warning to slow down but it only turned you on more. You could feel your hardened nipples rub against his chest, and it drove both of you nuts, with all his strength he pulled away, leaving you dizzy and pulling him for more, he’s never wanted anyone the way he wants you but he would never have sex with someone so drunk, even if that person begged as nicely as you were right now.
He laughs as you start leaving hot open kisses throughout his neck and jaw purring like a cat, “Bucky please” you mewled, asking him for more, his hand flew to grasp your hair in a tight grip, nibbling on your skin as he reached your ear “We aren’t doing anything except kissing the fuck out of each other doll” he whispered.
You made for a grab to his groin but he was able to take your hand and hold it above your head “I want you nice and sober when I get you to cream on my cock”, he groans as you make a final attempt to lure him in, but you know he’s right, so you huff in defeat, a pout on display to make your feelings known, “baby doll what’s wrong? you look flushed” he teases as you gasp in faux offense.
3:45 AM
The bar kicked everyone out but you still had some party left in you and apparently, so did Bucky because he’s already got you piggyback riding him to his car, you said goodbye to your friends assuring them you trusted Bucky, his place was less than 10 minutes away and you’d send them your location. 
Once you got to the car Bucky stopped in his tracks, “we’re drunk and high as hell” he stated, and like a bucket of iced water you realized he was right “Accurate statement” you snort, carefully dropping you on the ground he swiftly turned to face you “so we should… perhaps, maybe take a cab” he goofs around as he steals small kisses form you “or we can walk? your place’s near right?” you reply, everyone was already gone to ask for a ride but he liked the idea of having some alone time with you, so,  he picked you up and placed you on his back “To the Batcave!” he runs as you hold onto him as tight as you could.
4:05 AM
You peacefully walked on the side of the street as cars passed by, one thing that you loved about walking at night was the lack of noise, the night wasn’t completely quiet, you could still hear the cars in the distance, people coming in and out of bars or whatever, the breeze was the perfect temperature and the city lights of New York were shone beautifully.
Hand in hand you walked with your latest conquest as he so eloquently put it, conversation flowing, “I got cheated on once, it fucking sucks” You both laughed at the obvious statement “I thought we were going steady and she got bored” he shrugged, “it was a while ago, but it definitely messed with my head” he whispered as he squeezed your hand, it brought him comfort and you as well. 
“You know what’s fucking hilarious though? I was planning on breaking up with him…ok don’t judge me” you laughed, “but I just stayed with him because it was easier to stay in a mediocre relationship than actually fight for my happiness…plus he had a hot tub” you felt stupid for saying it, but he didn’t judge you, his face remained the same, attentive.
Bucky took your hand and kissed each one of your knuckles “I got a really nice bathtub” he murmured into your skin with a smirk, your heart fluttered to what he implied so you jumped and kissed his cheek, holding onto his arm for dear life, content with how the day turned out.
4:38 AM
After smoking yet another joint together you were now straddling your dancer’s lap on his bathtub “It really is a nice bathtub” You grinned between kisses and he laughed, his hands roaming your soft skin under your clothes, you were heaven on earth he kept thinking, he was about to kiss you again but was interrupted by your phone ringing, which made both of you sigh in frustration.
You knew who it was, Jake had been calling over and over for the last 20 minutes and Bucky had enough of the bastard, “Answer him” he ordered, to which you raised an eyebrow “I- can’t I- seriously?” you say almost shocked “You know what you wanna say to him, so say it” he encouraged with a soft smile.
Without thinking twice you pick up, “Finally! what took you so long to pick up?” Jake barks, you have the phone on speaker so Bucky could listen, and he already hated how the jerk talked to you, making him grip your waist with possessiveness.
“What do you want?” you ask almost uninterested, “Baby please forgive me” he cries as if you could ever believe anything he said to you, “I’m so so fucking sorry, what else do you want me to say?!”, to that you let out an unamused laugh “just stop fucking saying you’re sorry, time to put on your big boy pants and take responsibility” you snark, which oddly, turns on bucky beyond belief.
Like a magnet, his lips start leaving love bites on your neck, making you gulp, “Babe let’s be honest, in a month you’ll be begging me to get back together, we both know you need someone to take care of you, you can’t be alone, you need me” he says like it’s the most obvious thing in the world, and then you really were done with his bullshit.
“Listen closely you fucktard, stop saying you’re sorry, stop begging me to forgive you, you were a waste of my time and the only reason I didn’t break up with you sooner was because it was convenient for me to stay with your sorry ass” you bark.
You could keep going but now Bucky was humming against your pulse, finding it incredibly hot how you stood up for yourself, he peppered you with hot open kisses that made your mind even fuzzier than the weed, “And I can take care of myself ass” you hiss in delight, it was meant to be an insult but Bucky was making you feel so good…
“Fucking drop that call”, bucky growled into your neck loud enough to be heard over the phone, then sunk his teeth into your soft skin, making you moan, unintentionally into the phone, before dropping it and gripping Bucky’s hair for support as you rubbed against the bulge on his pants “Fuck I can’t wait to make you mine” he moaned, dreaming of all the possibilities, of everything he wanted to do with and to you.
Despite the chills you felt down your spine, despite feeling exactly the same way, you laugh, “Honey… do you think it’s gonna be that easy?” you coo, drunk in power, you devour his perfect pink lips.
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romeavecryst · 2 days
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Crush Culture˖ ࣪⊹
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IV. Just open your mind
sum: Dose he finally admit it? That maybe a a crush isn’t so bad that being interested in someone is okay? He doesn’t know though what if he’s just about to waste his time.
warnings: cursing, flirting, not proofread, jealousy, Nekomas being protective over their manager, tsukii having wondering eyes.
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.˚₊‧ ── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ── ‧₊˚.
A few says in Yamaguchi could tell something was up, that his best friend was dealing with something but didn’t open up about it. Kei seemed more… spacious. Like he wasn’t fully there. How his gaze would linger a bit longer in the distance how, that he seemed to be more focused yet so distracted at the time. Maybe he was just having a moment, he was still himself.
Then he would notice it, how the tips of Kei’s ears turned red when he would talk to the second year manager. How he played with his finger as he spoke to her that his eyes didn’t wander if as she talked to him helping with whatever she asked. That when Noya would ask about it he was quickly dismissive about her. Tadashi wanted to ask, he wanted to bring it up but didn’t want to make his best friend upset. He knew Kei didn’t like the idea of being interested in somebody, that is was stupid, crush culture was to normalize and a waste of time.
“Tsukii?” He asked, the two of them walking out of the gym.
Tsukishima hummed listening to his friend, “Can I ask you something with out you getting upset.” Yamaguchi asked.
He noticed Tsukishimas eyebrow raise “What is it?”
“Do you like Nekomas Manager…?”
Tsukishima stoped dead in his track, yamaguchi stoped a little after him looking back at his best friend. His brows frowned slightly but his face all around looked blank, yet grossed out at the same time. Kei opened his mouth but closed it before anything came out, his gaze shifting to the ground. The silence around them heavy the sound of crickets and frogs could be heard within the summer night. The faint sounds of shoes squeaking against gym floors as teams still practice voices of other players heard. But the two of them stayed silent, Tsukishima almost debating in his head to answer.
“I don’t know..” he spoke, his voice barely audible.
Yamaguchi watche as Tsukishima looked at the plan of his hands for a moment before speaking. “Sh-she makes me nervous, like actually nervous Tadashi..” his eyes met Yamaguchis, “She has this attitude that doesn’t irritate me like other do, her snarky or teasing remarks make me blush like a fucking school girl. Her bratty attitude and cockiness is so annoying yet it doesn’t make me angry or upset. She didn’t take my shit either always saying something back with this amused look…”
Tsukishima laughed at himself “ I find myself always looking for her, in the practice matches to see if she’s maybe looking at me. I look for her in other gyms, even at the dining hall. Even if she’s not looking at me I continue to look at her, is it stupid to say I like the way she looks. Her face.. it UGH. It’s so fucking stupid, i barely know her I- I don’t even know how to start an actual conversation with her and every time I have it’s something quick just a comment and I walk away like a loser. It’s so lame.” He groaned, confessing to his friend.
“So you do like her, it’s okay-“
“I know it’s okay but.. what if I end up wasting my time. I put in effort just to get hurt in the end? That she didn’t feel the same about me? That what if I do something, would she stay? Stay with me not shut me out after an argument or because I said something that just broke her heart. I no good with words and I’m.. I’m not nice when I’m upset. God and most of the time I don’t notice that I’m like that nor do I feel bad after the fact..” he sighed rubbing his eyes his glasses lifting off his face.
Tadashi stood in front of his friend, a soft smile on his face. “Kei.. I’m no love expert but you seem smitten. And as much as I wish I could give you the reassurance that nothing bad will happen that’s not how it works with relationships, love even. Time will tell, she’ll either from how highly you speak of her now she’ll either be your worst heartbreak or someone you die old with.”
Tsukishima laughed, Tadashi only smiled small laughs leaving his mouth “Don’t tell anyone about this. I swear to god.” Tsukishima spoke still laughing.
“I wont I promise!” Tadashi smiled his hand falling on Kei’s shoulders.
“You’re my best friend Tadashi.. but I will hunt you down.”
Tadashi chuckled “I wont.” Putting his pinky finger up, tsukishima linking his with Yamaguchis.
The pair soon entered the dining hall for dinner. Everyone sitting at tables as they are the teams mixed up making it harder to find a spot to sit, everyone talking amongst themselves. Tsukishimas stiffened the feeling of a hand touching his arm startling him.
“Sorry didn’t mean to make you jump stalker, do you and your friend wann come sit with me and a few of my guys?” Y/n asked smiling.
Tsukishima and Yamaguchi looked at one another “Yeah that would be nice thank you!” Yamaguchi answered her.
She nodded her head having them follow her, he noticed how her braids were put into this low buns two red ribbons helping hold them together, extra curls falling loose from them. Tsukishimas eyes slightly wondering the black shirt she wore was cropped slightly and tight, not a lot the red joggers she wore more baggy than the uniform he usually saw her in the sides saying ‘Nekoma Volleyball Club’ down the sides. They sat low on her hips he could see two rhinestones on her lower back, piercings?
Yamaguchi elbowing him lightly, pretty much telling him to stop staring at her ass. Tsukishima glaring lightly. “I wasn’t.”
“Mmhm”
The stoped at a table her putting her tray down next to a guy with longer hair blonde but grown out his roots black. “I invited some friends, this is Tuskishima, and his friend Yamaguchi.” She spoke as the two sat next to her Kei in the middle of her and Tadashi.
The both said hi, “this is a little bit of my team and others they’ll introduce themselves unless y’all know each other already.” She said smiling.
They knew Kuroo and Bokuto, as well as Akaashi. Yamamoto, Fukunaga, kenma and lev had introduced themselves. They all talked amongst themselves, her talking with them aswell, she was close with her team members and got along with them. Her body was close to his, a small shiver of her body because of kenma pushing her against him. “Be careful!” She pushed Kenma back him dramatically falling into Yaku.
“You see this? This abuse she puts me through.” Kenma spoke out to the table.
She snorted turning back to her food, she could hear Tsukishima next to her laugh lightly aswell her eyes glancing at him a smile on her face “whatever,”
She didn’t move back after her push, her thigh pushed up against his there arms touching. Yamaguchi watched as his friends face became pink, the blonde pushing up his glasses before continuing to eat. She acted as if nothing was happening that her thigh was pushed up against him, that her foot tapped his. But he didn’t move away from her touch, he didn’t want to. His eyes meeting hers as he turned his head.
“How long have you been playing Volleyball?” She asked. Turning her body towards him.
“Since I was a kid just something I picked up.” He spoke.
“Do you not like.. enjoy it?”
He shrugged “I don’t hate it keeps me busy ya know, did you play any sports?” He asked.
“I did, when I lived in the states, I played soccer, did gymnastics also.” She explained
“Weren’t you gonna go for an American team? That’s what it’s called right?” Kuroo said.
“Yeah but moved.. and I could’ve continued here but was mad at my dad for moving us across the world.” She said, looking over at him.
“That’s why you quit? Out of spite?” Tsukishima asked. It came out more snarky than wanted.
“I didn’t quit, but I did try for a team her in Tokyo one of the best but didn’t have a great experience, the girls were mean, I didn’t appreciate getting body shamed.” She hummed, her face dropping a bit.
“That’s fucked,”
“They were jealous.” She smiled.
Tuskishima nodded, kuroo kept the conversation going. Getting y/n and Tuskishima to talk a bet more, the two learning a lot about each other. Even after eating they continued to talk. Kuroo knew what he was doing, he liked the blonde he was a player that needed more of a push and he knew that she would do that. But he could feel the flirty tension between them, it was light but noticeable to him. She was always nice and out going with people but she seemed a bit different something only him and Kenma noticed but kept to themselves.
“You should come practice with us after dinner.” Kuroo spoke interrupting their conversation.
“I’m al-”
“You should you’re a hell of a blocker, but need a bit more.. hmm sturdiness? Kuroo is one of the best I know good to have someone to help out.” She said to him cutting the blonde of.
Tsukishimas eyes moving from hers to kuroos a smirk on his lips making kei glare, “I’m alright thanks though..” he answered.
He went. He went to that stupid gym, just because she went after cleaning up. Kuroo giving him a sassy remark when he walked in with her. Tuskishima glancing at her before joining them.
Her eyes never left him, analyzing and down right admiring him. He seemed more locked in them earlier when she was watching him, he seemed so unserious about Vollyball but he isn’t so nonchalant about it, he only seems that way because something happened. He started playing this sport out of spite, and now he’s actually starting to enjoy it. She watch how he listened to kuroo as he explained to him how to fix something little bit over all helped. She could tell his hands and fingers were starting to hurt how he constantly rubbed them.
“Hun do you want me to wrap your fingers I can..” she spoke reaching into her bag. Tuskishimas eyes looking over towards her watching as she waved him over.
He offered his hand out to her no hesitation, her hands were cold against his. Her hands calloused yet so soft, while his where rough and warm, her hands were gentle as she taped his fingers. His eyes watched her his head tilting slightly.
‘Just open your mind to new things Kei’ the sound of his moms voice ringing through his ears. He had to open his mind, allow himself to let her in. To know the real him. It be hard, hard he didn’t want to have his heart broke but how could she when she treated him with such care. How she looked as him so.. intimately. He’d never admit to himself, to her, to his mother, to Tadashi. He was scared. Scared of these feelings he was feeling.
Her eyes looked up noticing his brows frowned “Tsukishi-”
“Call me Kei, please.”
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hannahssimblr · 1 day
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“What?”
“I said, you tore me out of this photo. I was there too,” I unpin it and hold it out to point to the crooked edge next to Jen where my eleven year old self once stood, tanned and grinning in red swimming shorts, “There, I was there.”
She looks at it, then me, but says nothing. 
“You can still see my shoulder.”
“Yeah.”
“You tore me out of it.”
Again, nothing. 
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I let my arm drop, limply holding the photo between two fingers, speechless I just stare at her as though she might explain herself, give me some reason that makes sense, but she doesn’t, she just stands there chewing on her lip. 
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I tug my shoulders sharply toward my ears, “Why did you do that? That was a nice day. We went swimming in the sea, I rescued you from a jellyfish, remember? I grabbed a piece of driftwood and flung it out of the water for you.”
“Yeah,”
“And later your mam brought us back to my house and we had a water fight on the lawn and made ice cream and coke floats,” I hold the photo out to her in a last ditch appeal, “It was a great day.”
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“Yeah it was nice, we had fun.” She won’t meet my eyes and looks everywhere but at me, like acknowledgement is unbearable.
“What, Michelle? I don’t get it. What did I do that was so horrible?”
She scoffs and turns away. 
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“C’mon, just tell me. I’ve had enough of all this bullshit between us, I’m serious. What is it?”
“Oh come on.”
“No, what?” I toss the photo onto her desk and approach her, my hand on her arm makes her flinch as I spin her to look at me, eyes livid, as I insist upon her, “What?” 
“My God, you’re awful,” she hisses, “Why do you need to hear me saying it? Is it an ego thing? Is it because you’re all single and sad again?”
“What are you on about?”
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“You already know what this is all about, it just gives you a thrill to bring it up.”
“No! I don’t know!”
“Oh cop on,” She slaps my hand off her, “That stuff with Holly, you just don’t remember? That’s convenient.”
“Holly?”
“Oh my God,” she tries to twist away from me but I stop her, “What did Holly say to you?”
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Michelle glares right into my face with a fury that would make a lesser man cower, but I don’t budge. “Tell me!” 
“That you don’t fancy me,” she grinds out, “and that I’m not even pretty.”
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I hesitate. 
She tosses her hand at me and hacks out a laugh, “See, you don’t even deny it.”
“Yeah, I was thirteen and stupid, she was jealous and I suppose I was just telling her what she wanted to hear. Shell!” she backs off and I follow, trying to insert myself into her eye line, “I didn’t mean it, she just didn’t get it, the way it wasn’t like that between us, but I don’t know why she told you that.”
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“It’s because she knew I fancied you, and she thought it was funny how you didn’t fancy me back.”
“You don’t know that.”
“You didn’t, you fancied Holly.” 
I sigh, “Holly was… everyone expected that of me.”
“What does that even mean?” 
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“She liked me, and she was the sort of girl that all the other boys talked about all the time, I felt like I should just go out with her because it’d be the most normal thing to do.”
“Oh my God, that’s ridiculous.”
“Yeah, I know, but I was still a kid and, I don’t know, you, Jen and I had a good thing going, I just didn’t want to risk ruining it.”
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“Well obviously you did, by saying I was ugly and throwing your birthday gifts back in my face.”
“I never said you were ugly, and the birthday gifts… she told me I couldn’t have them because they were from you, but I still liked them! Those pens were better than her gift, you know, I didn’t even like the movie she took me to see,” my attempt at a laugh sounds very weird and tight, “It was actually so shit.”
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Michelle is unmoved, with her arms crossed over her chest she says, “You read what I said in the card and you still threw it away like it was nothing.”
“No, I didn’t- I skimmed- I barely read it.”
She reels back like I’ve spit in her face, “Is that supposed to be better?”
I don’t answer. 
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“‘Dear Jude,’” She recites, “‘Happy thirteenth birthday! I hope you have an amazing day! I just want to say that being your friend is the best! You’re so nice and funny and talented, I’m glad all of the time that you started going to our school because you make our friend group so much better. I hope you like the gel pens, I know you hate drawing with yellow colours because they don’t show up on the page, but I couldn’t exactly take it out of the packet or it would look pretty strange! Maybe you can use them to draw more comics. I look at the one you drew for me with the cowboy cats every day and it still makes me laugh. Is that weird? I hope not. Anyway, I hope you have an amazing birthday because you’re an amazing friend! xxx Michelle.’” She glares at me. The way she positively spat that message at me threw me off a bit, but the essence of it still comes across and makes my stomach sink with shame all of the same. It really was a nice card, and I wish for the millionth time in my seventeen-and-a-half years that I wasn’t such a fucking idiot. 
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“I remember the cowboy cat comic,” I mutter, “Do you still have it?”
It seems as though my stupidity is confounding her, “No, I fucked it into the bin. Obviously. I was heartbroken.”
“Heartbroken?” A bit dramatic, surely. 
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“Yeah. Holly and her friends bullied me for years, and you just went and abandoned me for them.”
“That’s not fair, I didn’t. You pushed me away, remember? You accused me of choosing them, I never chose them. You chose not to be my friend.” 
“Yeah, I wonder why.”
“Why are you being like this?”
“Like what?”
“So stubborn. You can't let this go.”
“Uh! Yeah! Because it’s humiliating.”
“What is? That you fancied me?”
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She brings her hands to her cheeks, burning not with rage, but embarrassment. She takes a shaky breath, “did you know?”
“About you-”
“Yes.”
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I chew on my lip. Of course I did. It was written all over her, the way she was so eager to sit next to me in class or in the car, squeezing into the middle seat just so that her leg could rest against mine. How she jumped at the chance to help me out with something before anybody else could, her laugh, a little bit harder and longer than everyone else's when I told a joke, but not addressing it was always easier. Maybe I liked the attention a little bit, enjoyed being admired by a cute girl, or maybe it was easier, less disruptive than admitting my own uncomfortable, friendship-group-ruining feelings. 
“No, I had no idea,” I say. 
Her eyes are fixed upon the carpet between our feet as though by looking so intently at the looped fibres she can transport herself anywhere other than here with me and my interrogations. 
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“Hey, look at me.”
“No.”
I sigh, “Look, Michelle, I did think you were pretty. That’s why Holly was so jealous. Our friendship made her insecure, and she hated how much I liked hanging out with you. She could sense that I liked you.”
“Oh, come on, that’s the kind of thing you say to those stupid girls at school so that they’ll let you borrow their homework or something.”
“I really did!”
“You used to throw potato wedges at me outside the deli!”
“Yeah! That’s how you show a girl you fancy her when you’re twelve!”
Her laugh is humourless, “Please.”
“I’m telling you I did,” I take her wrist, with her pulse jumping under my fingers and hold her like that, for reasons I’m not sure of, perhaps just for connection. Close like this I can feel the heat of her body. I am desperate to show her how serious I am. “And if I wasn’t so stupid I might have done something about it.”
“Too late.”
“It’s not.”
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I bend and kiss her before she can argue any more. Once, just once, but insistently, and I pull back hard with a smack expecting outrage on her face but I find only surprise, desire, and eyes that flick from my eyes to my mouth and back. I kiss her again, slow this time, deep, sure, as my hands hold her hips close to mine, willing for this kiss to wipe it all away, all of the years of hurt and anguish between us, and she lets me kiss her, and she kisses me back with hands that thread through my hair and lips that part so I can slide my tongue inside her mouth.
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My knees knock against hers in our clumsy waltz towards her bed and we come down on it together, my body pressing against hers and my fingers finding the warm skin beneath her t-shirt. I draw back to look at her again, dark eyes and full lips and skin, as is mine, blushed amber with the first rays of dawn that stream through the window. 
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“Do you want to stop?” I say, and she shakes her head. 
“No.”
And outside, as the sun creeps up over Clontarf, the branches of the cherry blossom trees hold their leafy arms up in surrender. 
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ssreeder · 5 months
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yooooo. queer-ie: i love your work and would die for it (this is the queer part) and i just know there’s gotta be scenes that have been deleted. could you possibly tell us about some of those (this is the -ie part)? no pressure tho!! i’ll be hopelessly devoted to you either way.
eyyyyyy-o.
sorry Ive sat on this ask for a while but it tuurns I doooooo have like 4k of of outtakes from RIA & ITF lol.
so here are a few, i’m not sure if this is what you wanted from this ask lol im doing my best. (also none of these are edited or proof read and im sorry about mistakes and grammar and tense and all that other jaz because these were seriously like - ‘i don’t know if im going to trash this orrrrr…..’ then it never made it in & might not even be applicable to the current story.)
im such a good author I know so many details ummmm here is an insert from some point in RIA (I think this was going to be a POV from Hakoda and his men talking and I decided it was a waste of word count. sorry hakoda)
- - -
“I say we kill him.”
“Don’t you think that is a little… <i>extreme</i> Gilak?”
“Not as extreme as the <i>son</i> of the Fire Lord living and breathing in our camp!”
Hakoda felt the specific vein in his forehead thumping against his wrinkled skin that was trying its best to keep it contained. He could feel a headache coming forward the longer they discussed what to do about the situation that Sokka brought to his attention… and so far, they had not one tangible idea.
“Gilak, I have already told you, we can not kill him.”
“I know sir, your son is buddies with him, and we can’t upset Sokka.”
Hakoda shot the larger man a stern look, and he quickly retracted his words.
“I know why we can’t kill him. I just think it would be the simplest solution in this situation.”
Bato jumped to Hakoda’s defense, like he always did.
“This is not a simple situation, so it will not have a simple solution. I think we should speak to Morrak and see what he learned about the boy before we make any decisions. If we kill the Prince of the Fire Nation while he is severely injured and being non threatening we will look like the savages the rest of the world calls us. We have to handle this delicately, like Hakoda said, Sokka trusted us enough to tell us who he is when he could have easily lied. Which means we need to respect that trust and handle it delicately.”
Hakoda cleared his throat, earning the attention from both his men.
“So it is decided. I will talk to Morrak and once I get more information, I will meet back with you both and we can discuss our options at that point.”
“Yes sir.”
“Yes Chief.”
Hakoda was happy when they left his tent, freeing up the stifled air that seemed to stop moving the moment the conversation began. Hakoda felt an intense guilt building from betraying his son’s trust and sharing his friend's identity with the other men… Haoda knew it was the wisest decision for him to make as the Chief of the Southern Water Tribe, but it wasn’t helping him be the best dad to his son… Something he was still struggling with every passing moment.
Even now… Hakoda left his son alone in the healer’s tent with the boy he just recently discovered was the Prince of the Fire Nation… A boy bred into fire and violence. Sokka seemed to trust him, which gave Hakoda a tiny bit of hope that maybe there was something good in this boy… But that tiny feeling was smothered by the rest of the overwhelming amount of mistrust and worry he had when he looked at the golden eyed boy who glared at him from the moment he opened his eyes.
Hakoda rubbed his forehead, digging his thumb into his temple in an attempt to push back the stress vein. He needed to speak to Morrak, and after that… He would make a decision on what was the best next step he could make. He needed to protect his tribe and his son, that was his main concern right now… and right now… Sokka was tied to this fire bender in a way that made Hakoda nervous.
Turning towards the entrance of his tent, Hakoda decided not to overthink this situation a minute longer and go find Morrak so they could talk…
Each time Hakoda thought about all the things he didn’t know, or wasn’t understanding, he felt the weight of his decision growing heavier and heavier. If Hakoda didn’t figure out what to do soon, he was going to be crushed and then Sokka would be on his own…
Hakoda couldn’t fail his son again, he had to make the right decision
- -
Ok so this one is right before Zuko gave himself up in RIA. I don’t remember how the final scene went down but we all know how it ended :) <3
Psst… Dad.”
Hakoda frowned in his sleep, caught in the middle of a dream and the reality that awaited him on the other side.
“Dad… Wake up.”
Hakoda opened his eyes and saw Sokka staring down at him.
“Son? What are you doing in my tent in the middle of the night? Are you ok?”
Hakoda sat up and rubbed his eyes, trying to see through the darkness he was startled when a tiny flame broke through the void and gave clarity to the room.
Zuko was standing behind Sokka who was kneeling next to Hakoda’s bed, and the Water Tribe man felt a mixture of conflicted feelings. He was instantly happy that Zuko had come back for Sokka, but the dred that followed swallowed any joy he had…. Zuko couldn’t be here. If Quon found him… They would all be in trouble.
“I’m fine… Zuko came back. He… We… Ummm… We are leaving.”
Hakoda thought he would be devastated the day his son told him he was leaving again, so sure that his world would bottom out and Hakoda would feel like he was falling into despair. But when he looked at Sokka, and he thought back to the talk they had about his feelings for the fire bender, Hakoda knew that there was nothing he could say to change his son’s decision.
Just like Hakoda had allowed Katara to leave, he had to do the same with Sokka. His children didn’t belong to him anymore, they were grown and they were bonded to people who they were loyal to… And Hakoda was proud of them. It was a monumental thing to find someone you loved, and staying loyal to them was what kept that relationship strong…. Even if Hakoda didn’t love the idea of Sokka choosing a fire bending boy, he wouldn’t stop him from being loyal to his love.
“I understand, son. Allow me to put on my pants and I will help you two escape.”
Zuko spoke up, “I don’t think that will be necessary. The uhh… The helping us… Not the uhh… The pants.”
Hakoda smirked and Sokka smacked his own forehead. No wonder the boy refrained from using words.
“I would like to make sure you two make it out ok. Is that a problem?”
Zuko seemed to dislike the idea, but Sokka gave him a pleading look that had a splash of assertiveness, which seemed to be their typical dynamic. Now that Hakoda was aware of the romantic nature between the boys it was easier to disfer their interactions.
Hakoda slipped on his pants and slid on his boots, making sure he secured his hunting knife inside. He couldn’t grab any other weapons just in case they were caught, Hakoda couldn’t risk looking like he was prepared for a fight. If they were caught, they would need to make sure that whatever words made up their excuse were good enough to fool whoever found them.
As long as it wasn’t Quon, they might have a chance
- -
RIP Shen, I never realized how fucking funny you and Zuko were until you died. I think this was when they were all sharing intel idk… but Zukos an asshole and I love it. (he and Sokka were sooooo hostile during the SWT arc)
“Nothing… Just…. Fucking drop it. How about Zuko and I switch seats and I will come over and help you with the Fire Nation cruiser information. Bato and Zuko can, I don’t know… Play their tile game or whatever.”
“Fine with me. I fucking love games.” Zuko mumbled as he stood up.
Shen watched with wide eyes, not saying a word, and Hakoda could honestly say he had no words to add to the tension either.
“Good!” Sokka stood up as well and made sure to bump his friend’s shoulder as they switched seats. The fire bender glanced back and Hakoda wondered if he was going to shove Sokka in the back but he didn’t reciprocate the hostile gesture and instead he flopped down next to Bato and crossed his arms with his brow narrowed deep into the center of his face.
Shen leaned back when Sokka came to sit down next to him, and Sokka glanced over at him and scoffed.
“Don’t be dramatic. Let’s just get this thing fucking over with so we can be done here.”
“Whatever you say.” Shen replied as Sokka aggressively organized the parchment and prepared to draw out Shen’s cruiser.
Hakoda watched as Sokka’s anger melted when Shen began to explain what it was like being a soldier stationed on Fire Nation cruiser. He told them about -
- -
TA DAAAAAA idk if this is what you wanted…. but here it is. I don’t have anything from the first book, and only a bit from ITF but I do have more RIA. I rambled a lot in the second book ha but yeah idk what else to say! Thanks for the ask.
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okay i'm gonna say something and you all have to give me a chance. ready?
we need to stop making fun of poor american southerners who distrust the government. it's real easy to call them all conspiracy theorists and dismiss them, but half the time, its built off of a genuine feeling of being abandoned by the infrastructure meant to keep them safe.
in appalachia, a lot of people lost their homes because of coal mining operations. a lot of people worked in those mines, and then when the mines stopped being profitable, they got tossed out with the bathwater. a lot of appalachia is poor, malnourished, and i don't blame them for not trusting rich politicians who dismiss them as stupid and lower class.
if yall actually listened to half the things poor southerners say, you'd realize that a Lot of common leftist complaints are virtually identical to the rural grandma who doesn't hold with electronic money and politicians. it stems from a genuine feeling of abandonment and ostracization by the people who run the country. functionally, someone living paycheck to paycheck in the city in a tiny apartment has infinitely more in common with someone from rural appalachia than a politician. high rent, high taxes, food insecurity, feeling lied to by those in power, a general sense of frustration. it just sounds fancier coming from a city mouth than one with shitty teeth and a southern accent.
tl;dr stop dismissing southern people as stupid. they're absolutely right not to wholeheartedly trust politicians, because they've been fucked over by them time and time again, and honestly, id rather talk to a southern person who openly distrusts their representatives than someone from the city who wholeheartedly believes that Frederick Jamestown OldMoney III genuinely cares what people think and can be convinced to change his ways.
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dennisboobs · 5 months
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i think everyone on sunnytwt needs to be sat down so i can explain to them what basic human empathy is. and then maybe i put them in a blender until they agree to write meta about the characters instead of whether or not charlie day got facial reconstruction surgery.
#ada speaks#u do not exist in a vacuum and your words have the capability to harm others#celebrities may not see your tweets but your balding transmasc mutual and your follower who feels self conscious about her nose will#it is fucking bizarre the way these people conduct themselves online#really. really fucking weird man#and then you see them acting like ppl are 'defending rich white men'#instead of taking issue with the actual shit theyre saying#whether or not you think rcg has been 'under the knife' or not#a) how is this any of your business. you are not entitled to this info nor do you have a free pass to criticize someone's personal choice#b) ask yourself why you feel you need to critique alleged surgeries and how they stack up to imposed conventional beauty standards#c) you do not *own* them. you can have opinions on your own attraction to them but#a person getting plastic surgery or hair plugs or whatever is up to them. not you. if it helps to make them feel better then who cares.#just because it doesn't make them attractive to YOU doesn't mean its okay to point and laugh#if a trans guy got top surgery and it was 'botched' would you act like they were stupid for getting it in the first place?#if a trans woman decided she wanted to surgically shave her jaw would you shame her for that?#it's their body. it's not yours.#for the record i don't believe any of them have gotten work done but think its a stupid thing to speculate on regardless#ive watched family members go through plastic surgeries of varying success. ive seen them get botox and hair plugs and everything#normal everyday people do it and it's not always about vanity#it can be for gender reaffirming reasons (and yes this includes when cis people do it) to alleviate dysphoria#trying to point out alleged surgical alterations made is just. gross#not to mention that holy shit MOST of the shit ppl are saying is like. age. different hairstyles. different facial expressions.#maybe if these people actually watched the show theyd be able to see the gang in action instead of staring at pics like spot the difference
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carrotpiss · 3 months
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🐰🧡🐻
#in stark contrast to most of my personal posts this is about me being happy and gay#because i need to just get it out my system bc otherwise i am just going to grab a friend by the shoulders and scream (in joy) in their face#i am dating someone and its really really nice and sweet and cute and like nothing ive ever experienced before#and instead its like every tiny little dream about this kind of thing ive managed to hold onto despite every experience otherwise and ahhhh#the lack of focus on just sex or sex appeal is so nice its like there but as a side thing so its nice and i dont feel like an object#i feel like a human person with thoughts and feelings and interests outside if that and feel safe in that and feel safe that everything wont#just be discarded if i dont want to do that like i feel like boundaries and stuff are an option! without jeopardising everything#and el likes me as much as i like them and wants and sees and communicates that they want something long term and ahhhhhhhh#i just want to cry like holy shit this is everything ive ever wondered about like i have spent so long wondering what this feeling would#actually feel like and its so good and so indescribable and ahhhhhhh#waking up on monday night and seeing them in my bed and cuddling me was just so nice i felt wanted i felt... loved#this all seems so out of left field still i still feel like i just never saw it coming but its so welxome and nice and ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh#my pessimism is still there but its less loud now its more learning to accept this may not be perfect forever but letting me enjoy the now#crouch speaks#it feels so nice to not be scared and to feel secure and ahhh#also it made me laugh El remembered me hitting on then at the Dgoals release show making them blush lol#i only remember the time i hit on them later at the groles show so its funny i pretty much used the same line twice and it still worked#i cant wait to see them again i cant wait to hold hands in public again i cant wait to be idiots who keep blushing too hard and accidentally#kissing eachother on the nose instead of the mouth because we are stupid and gay and pathetic about it hahaha#just ahhhh i could gush forever how perfect the 2!!! dates weve been on were and the fact they want more and more and ahhhhh#this is so lame i know i just haven't experienced anything remotely like this before and its just... wild#like wow holy shit what on earth i have been so increasingly miserablely depressed and insecure from the shea stuff last year and then this#just absolutely removed all of that i actually feel like a human person again with value
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arcadequeerz · 1 year
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I miss my dad.
#Cade.vnt#Closer it gets to Christmas the more it gets real and the more i hate it.#keep feeling like he's back on the road in his truck but i know he's Not and he's not coming home ever#N idk if its pathetic because me and him didn't get along and yada yada but i always expected him to outlive me#he was supposed to outlive me and he didn't and its Fucked Up and wasn't supposed to be like this.#old fuck was supposed to outlive all of us and he ended up dying in a hospital bed hooked up to machines and i didn't even get to say#goodbye#he didn't even eake back up#and i think thats what fucks me up the most that he didn't get to die here ay home- comfortable in his bed#or didn't get to make some stupid fucking joke that he Reall y shouldn't of said but still would make us laugh-#he left too quietly. he should of gone laughing#it isnt fair. it isn't fucking fair and i hate it and everyone keeps telling me its okay he's 'with god' now#and i dont want him to be i just want him back here. was suppoed to be a xonstant in my life and now#there's this fucking absence and i hate it so fucking much#we still dont even know what happened.#they kept throwing shit around and never said anything for certain.#anyways. my mom cut up a bunch of his shirts this evening- she sais she's gonna make a qult with them#she let me keep his pink floyd shirt though. crying and getting snot all over it rn#i just kind of need 2023 to be kinder to me. and my family. please i cant take anymore loss or pain#it feels like the universe hates me and wnts me dead.
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blueslight · 1 year
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I swear people.on tumblr will say the Most fucked up shit in the replies of like, anon asks that are even just slightly harmlessly weird or tactless its INSANE
#like an anon will say something just like vaguely annoying or something and ppl in the replies SO NOT EVEN THE OMES WHO GOT SENT TGW ASK#will be like anon you need to fucking kill yourself youre so fuckd up and abnormal#with like specifically super evil phrasing ?? not just like thats a bit rude or something but literally shit like anon you need to fucking#ki yourself youre insane. which ive probably seen people say word for word#and like well 1 i think its fucking cringe and especially double and triple cringe if the op who got the ask wasnt evn that upset like I#dont got a nice way to saay this but it always makes me think the commenter wants to suck ops dick so hard like. metaphorically. that its#embarassing to witness cuz of how obvious it is like when someone makes a joke and another person laughs way too hard just bc they want the#joke maker to likw them but like the evil version of that#and also 2. its fucking mean like idc if they think theyre doing.it to defend someone or like it doesnt clixk that that anon is a person w#feelings too but like .??? why would you fucking treat Strangers like this. WHICH IS AN ARGUMENT THE COMMENTERS THEMSEKVES SAY. like if#someone asks something slightly personal (again not even actually harmful) ppl will immediately be like anon why would you ask a complete#stranger this you fucking weirdo. BUT LIKE WHY ARE *YOU* CALLING A COMPLETE STRANGER A FUCKING WEIRDO AND INSINITUATING THEYRE A CREEP FOR#LIKE STUFF THATS NOT EVEJ NEVESSARILY BAD YK??#like why is a mildly big tumblr blog a poor complete stranger whos boundaries are being crossed but like some random anonymous asker is an#absolute insane freak who its ok to like call the most heinous names ever abt like. a fucking tumblr ask#IDK MAN A LOT OF PEOPLE ON TUMBKR ANNOY ME. ESPECIALLY LIKE PEOPLE WHO PORTRAY THEMSKEBES AS LIKE SOFT OR SOME SHIT AND THEN TELL OTHWRS TO#KILL THEMSELVES NONSTOP. i dont even thinm its that bad of an insult but anytime i see someone go kys i cringe into oblivion cuz its such#14 year old.kinmie bulllshit.#BUT ANYWAYS MY.ORKGINAL POINT WAS WHY DO PPL ON HERE HAVE SO MUCB FUCKING HATE IN THEIR HEARTS. I SWEAR SO MANY PPL R LOOKING FOR ANY#OPPORTUNITY TO BE CRUEL TO SOMEONE AS IF LIKE CALLING SOMEONE A FUCKED UP FREAK FOR ASKING A STUPID QUESTION OR LIKE ACCIDENEALLY SAYING#SOMETHING A BIG WEIRD IS NOT JUST. middle school Bully level shit. and i feel like majorly everyone on tumblr identifies as like not normal#in some way like everyokes gay or autistic or mentally ill or something so like why are YOU behaving like the fucking enemy. Get a grip !!!
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aquarri · 1 year
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#anon#there are very few people i truly hate on the earth and louis is not one of them#really my 'hate' for him comes from a place of love and the want for them to do better#because they deserve better! and they can achieve that#yeah recently i've been hating on him and have been 'unsupportive' but thats how i deal with people who are in my eyes being stupid#making poor decisions#its very hard for me to see something and brush it under the rug#(not supporting the doc bc i dont want a doc that isn't truly authentic or made without the public lies)#im not someone whos gonna sit back and laugh when i see something i dont like ya know?#(please dont call me a solo harrie bc i think you missed my hating harry holivia era :D that was a shit show and harry was acting stupid#and i said that and didnt support that either lol)#not that i need to justify anything but i complain about hshq and tour all the time#im not gonna hate on harry bc hes not pissing me off rn? lol#its tough love sorry anon ik my worth and what i deserve to give to people based on what they give back#is that parasocial? idk but i also dont need to blindly follow and act happy when im not?#also i hate the word “stan” im just here observing the drama talking on my little blog about millionaire men that annoy me sometimes#i really do want better for them thats why im here at least thats what brought me here#i do like louis or at least i liked what he stood for in previous years but idk both of them seem to be kind of lost at the moment#this just turned into a ramble but anon im not a solo harrie nor will i ever be#i would like to be called a hater larrie.#why would i be directing hater energy at harry when he just sang woman after louis did ~that~#im not gonna praise him for stunting with a 22 y/o playing daddy and releasing a copy lg doc lmao
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trollbreak · 2 years
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Derrek would also make for a hell of a narrator.
#an alternate universe where he just sort of. didn’t manage to pull his gaze from the gaping maw of the abyss tearing into his reality. au in#which this man doesn’t get necessarily worse but he doesn’t get nearly as much better so he’s just rocking around in the void or smth#bc if he could interact with shit he could. 10/10 impulsive ass dude would absolutely poke the bear if he didn’t have interpersonal#connections to care about. and maybe even if he did but was still cruising in his ‘this is all fake so who cares’ stage before going ‘it’s#real enough to them and it can be real enough to me if I let it and that’s what I’m going to choose to matter’#grips u. this guy doesn’t even go here and I’ve got so fucking many thoughts abt him bothering my guys here.#he would’ve fully handed himself to doc crimes for a while there bc dude was doing Bad and also had a whole thing about pain and the color#it makes his blood. mev would’ve looked at him and gone ‘why are you the way you are’ and he’d just laugh and shrug bc he has a perfectly#clear answer for her but if he says it either she believes him and she’s stuck with that now or she doesn’t believe him and he’s just#spouting bullshit and he doesn’t want to have to confront either outcome so he’d rather just do a stupid lil laugh and go ‘I dunno man’ and#then go back to watching his blood pool on the floor like it’s the prettiest fucking thing he’s ever seen and#should really use some aspects of him in other characters bc I miss playing with the things he’s outgrown
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be-good-to-bugs · 10 days
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itd be so cool if the shitty people in my life were not shitty and were actually slightly decent
#the bin#:/ i wanna stop feeling horrible abt shit with my sister but it makes me so angry and upset ALL the time#im so fucked up abt this. how could i not be. i guess. hhhhh. i dont know what to do. it sucks so much.#its so hard to deal with the aftermath of a deeply abusive relationship in general. and when you cant talk to anyone about it or tell#anyone who knows that person. and you have to continue to be nice or at least civil with them. probably forever.#that SUUUUCKS. she is so awful. shes always been awful. i want to heal from that experience but i feel like im still stuck#probably mostly because im literally physically stuck 1000 miles away from everyone else i know in a place where shes the only person i know#but even after that i think ill still feel so stuck. theres a lot of things she has that i really need to get from her before i do anything#that might make her mad at me. i want to delete our stupid chat full of uncomfortable shit vut thats gonna piss her off#she has a lot of pictures of me from when i was younger and those are pretty much the only pictures of me from then#i can barely even remember those years. id like to get those if i can. also i wanna see if i can convince her to delete all the weird videos#she took of me without my consent while i was having psychotic episodes bc like. what the fuck. AND i know she literally just shows them#to her friends and laughs at them bc shes told me she does. which is very upsetting. and if i can get her to delete them id feek so much#better and not be upset over that all the time#i just cant get iver how much she fucking sucks. she does so much fucked up shit and its so awful. why would she ever think its ok ti record#me when im not in a good headspace. without telling me. and then upload it to her snapchat also without telling me#i only found out about her doing that originally because she decided to show me some of the funny things people said about me on the#video i didnt even know existed and had no memory of what happened. she loves to claim shes so chill and nice and good about mental#illness and she understands it so much and would never ever do anything weird and ableist like that. and then does that.#i feel so much worse abiut myslef and all the behaviors i have caused by my myriad of mental shit specifically because of her#ugh i am so not looking forward to being in a car with her for 20 hours when i move. but thats how it has to be.
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isildheir · 5 months
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Honestly, my abuser saying Louis was just as bad as Lestat or basically implying they hate how people write Lestat off as more abusive than he is or that Louis was just as abusive was a red flag I should've put a lot more stock into.
#The guy was Empathizing with a capital E.#God hold me back cuz I LAUGH at them. Abuser all weh u..abused me..cuz...u called me stupid and annoying when I wouldn't let u leave me#after ur 30239929292th attempt#Youre abusive cuz...u made me feel so unloved when you kept trying to leave me! :'(((#LMAOAOOA yeah if thats abuse then slap my ass and call me sally cuz ill always try to leave you#You fuckin insane psychopath. constantly putting damn words in my mouth and telling ME what i ACTUALLY mean#you dont care about anything i have to say. you need to be the one slighted to justify why you feel so offended 24/7.#dude u wanna be a fucking victim so bad then fuckin be my guest u fuckin miserable sick sad sack of absolute dog shit#always calling me a liar and putting me on the podium to state my case infinite times till you hammered me into gaslighting myself#to support your interpretation. go to hell.#you are chronically miserable for a reason. and you will NEVER find reprieve in that. EVER. just as you deserve.#YOU made me start therapy because of the CONSTANT confusion and emotional trauma i endured with you.#YOU made me cry all the time at work.#YOU gave me chest pains and difficulty breathing. just seeing YOUR DAMN NAME on my phone gave me panic attacks#YOU did so much FUCKED UP SHIT to me and you NEVER ACCEPTED ANY REALITY BUT ME HURTING YOU ON PURPOSE#you literally tell me 24/7 i dont care about you and i would drop THOUSANDS of dollars on you#AND FUCKIN WATCH UR SHOWS 3 TIMES IN A ROW#AND CALL AND TEXT U EVERY NIGHT. SIT AND HELP YOU PREP FOR JOB INTERVIEWS.#I DREW UR DAMN OC SO OFTEN HE PRACTICALLY BECAME MY MOST DRAWN CHARACTER#I DID SO MUCH TO SHOW U I CARED. BE IT GIFTS. MONEY. BE IT TIME. BE IT HELPING IN#UR VTUBING CAREER U WANTED TO START.#BE IT SPENDING NIGHTS SOMETIMES TILL 6AM JUST MAKING SURE YOU'RE OKAY.#I JUST. DID. SO. FUCKING. MUCH. IT WAS NEVER ENOUGH FOR YOU. I HOPE YOU DIE. SUFFER. BURN IN HELL.#I HATE YOU. I HATE YOU. I WILL NEVER STOP HATING YOU.#I GAVE YOU SO MUCH. I WAS HAPPY TO TOO. WHAT A FOOL I WAS. NOTHING I DID WAS EVER ENOUGH. YOU ALWAYS HAD TO FUCKIN COMPARE#OR GET JEALOUS WHEN I SPENT ONE SECOND WITH ANYONE ELSE#U NEEDED TO GRILL ME FOR EVERYTHING#ASK WHO I WAS WITH#NEEDED TO KNOW WHAT I WAS DOING JUST IN CASE IT WAS SOMEONE YOU DIDNT LIKE#UR FUCKIN ABSURD. UR INSANE. ROT IN HELL. FUCKIN GET TORN APART DOWN THERE. I HOPE YOU SUFFER. I WANT TO WATCH. I WILL LAUGH.
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inkskinned · 1 year
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it's been said before and i'm sure said better than i can phrase it. but really, really - if you like making "i'm going to kill myself" jokes, please try switching to being ironically conceited instead.
anytime something goes wrong, say things like "ah well at least i'm beautiful and charming and everyone loves me." when you forget something, try "my big huge brain is so smart and thinking about too many other very big wizardly thoughts you wouldn't even understand." when you're frustrated by one of your symptoms, start talking like you're in My Immortal. "Life has come for me but my eyes are beautiful pools of gorgeous fire and my hair is amazing. I stuck my middle finger up at life and told it to fuck off and it did."
just... try it for a month or two. try saying the most absurdly self-congratulatory shit you can think of.
i know it's tempting to make suicide or self-harm jokes. and for me at least, a decade ago (!) when someone suggested i stop making those kinds of jokes, i was kind of at a loss for what to replace them with. i wanted to make light of these moments, but genuinely (at the time) my first thought really was suicidal ideation. there was a part of me that even felt like ... i was kind of "making light" of that voice. that if i could say i want to die lol, it would help take the sting out of that genuine (albeit passive) desire. like i could turn my illness into a joke.
when i started complimenting myself instead, it felt awkward and stupid. it felt really, really ironic. what i was actually saying was nobody would ever think this stuff about me, that's what makes it so fucking funny.
but. the effect was immediate. first thing i noticed was the people around me. when i dropped a glass and said ah my skin is too beautiful and sleek the glass has swooned and broken for me, other people were suddenly overjoyed to jump in with the joke. rather than making an awkward moment, we'd both start cracking up. ah princess sleek hands, i've heard of you.
i was 19. i hadn't noticed i'd been making others tense when i said i want it all to end. i know now that it's incredibly hard to know how to walk that moment - do you talk to them about your concern? do you potentially make them uncomfortable by asking if they're okay? do you ignore the situation? do you help them pick up the glass, or do they need to do it by themselves? are they genuinely made suicidal over this small moment? and most importantly, how do you - without professional training or supplies - actually help?
most people want to help you pick up the glass in your life, they just have no fucking idea how to do it. they don't want to make anything worse. they don't want to make assumptions about you. they love you, they're scared for you - and being scared makes people kind of freeze up. it's not because they don't love you. it's because they do.
now when something bad happens, my first thought is how can i make a stupid joke about this. it isn't my brain saying you're a dumb fucking bitch. i spend more time laughing. i spend more time being gentle with myself. i spend more time feeling good.
and the thing is - what's kind of funny - is that you'd be surprised by how many people agree with you. the first time i said i'm too pretty to understand that, someone else said to be fair you're the prettiest person in this room. i promise - you really don't know how kindly your friends see you. but they love you for a reason. they sort of reverse-velveteen-rabbit you. your weird and ugly spots fade away and you just become... the love they want to give you.
go love yourself ironically. the worst thing that happens is that you end up tricking your reflection into actually loving you.
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