#and in doing so discount that. we're all human and stuff

[twilightarcade]

Love it when people are reduced to statistics

#wordstag #yeah sure you could take this as a vent post but.. from a narrative perspective...... #like you have people with rich and complex lines that you regard as just another piece of data on a chart #statistically justifying horrific acts because it's what the 'data' needs>>>> #'haha yeah actually this is fine because then all the statistics will shoot straight up!!!' #education economy population heath etcetc #and in doing so discount that. we're all human and stuff #those 'pieces of data' are far more than the data itself shows #like digital vs analog n stuff. Cutting out any non important bits in favor of getting the general gist #and in doing so getting rid of all the little things #the things that can't be captured within a simple spreadsheet #you know there are like. A lot of colors #like way too many even. But it's not like we have a through documentation of every one of them? #why? it's unnecessary. no one is going to be meticulously picking out between ffffff and fffffd #of course like. Colors and human data are different just. Idk. First thing I could think of #anyways point of this post I guess there is no point but like. It's a bit funny #beeegh irrelevant word dump. I like people being statistics it's neat #I hope you get what I mean by this

[leonistic]

clauses, clashes: debater!yuu || heartslabyul, savanaclaw

riddle rosehearts

"[name] is an excellent debater. i enjoy starting debates on any topic, be it law, morality, religion, education, or livelihoods, as they are well-informed about the happenings of both their and our worlds. it is a pleasure to talk to them and indulge in their debates regardless of the topic. one time, i did see them ask leona about the economic situation in the sunset savannah so they could prove a point. they are quite fearless."

trey clover

"[name] being a debater is nothing new, if you've ever heard them talk. they love debating with riddle and azul, it gives them a lot of information about twisted wonderland, and they keep themselves and the top students of the second year in check, if you get what i mean. overall, i don't really mind how loud and decisive they can get sometimes, but how much they know and can discern does shock me."

cater diamond

"yep, i heard about [name]-chan being a debater, but i thought of it as some weird rumours until i saw them debating about climate or something with riddle, i don't even know what it was till today. they're intelligent, well-aware... i mean, what else does the ideal student look like?! they're also somehow one of the top 10 in the first years, maybe because they've already been through a few years of schooling in their own world? woah!"

ace trappola

"haha, [name]'s scary, the way they look when they're debating, i mean. they get fierce and stuff, and then they launch with rapid-fire facts and questions that make it difficult for any normal dude to answer. only people i've ever seen answer them right away are riddle-senpai, azul-senpai, and leona-senpai. takes guts and some recklessness to be fighting them with words, but maybe they're doing something i'm not, since they're scoring well. should i try debating with riddle-senpai too?"

deuce spade

"[name] is super scary and awesome when they're in debater mode. i'm being serious, stop chuckling! one time, they walked up to malleus draconia himself and just launched into conversation! i don't even know what it was about, but he looked so confused before smiling and nodding to whatever they were saying. no wonder they're in the top 10 all the time... their academic sources are terrifying."

leona kingscholar

"the herbivore being a debater's real interestin', to be honest... i haven't seen many people who can speak confidently about a variety of topics like they can. they came to me once, asking about the economical condition of the sunset savannah in the last decade. couldn't tell 'em much, but they insisted i helped. weird kid, roamin' around so freely in the lion's den..."

ruggie bucchi

"[name] is super cool, y'know?!?! heard them debatin' with azul once in the mostro lounge, over over-prized foods 'n' drinks and why that would hurt business in the long run. safe to say azul listened to 'em and brought his prizes down by a bit, and suddenly we're all busier than expected, especially then they mentioned delivery apps and discounts that allowed stores in their world to connect with customers all over the globe. sounds interestin', don't it? the best part is, i can finally afford 2 coffees a day at the lounge with the leftovers of whatever leona's paying me, shishishishi!"

jack howl

"i did hear that [name] was good at debating, but i've yet to see it for myself, you know. it's a shame that nrc doesn't participate in such competitions, otherwise they'd be able to shine here too, build some sort of a reputation other than just "the magic-less human", you know? they're well-learned with the capacity to learn more, but the way that they hyperfocus and absolutely zone out sometimes is terrifying."

request by @red-viewe: Hi soru! can i request like hcs on a mc/reader who is rlly good in debating? And like how savannaclaw and heartstahyul would react? Take ur time ofc and make sure to take care of urself!! -red❤

#twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland x reader #twst #twst x reader #riddle rosehearts #riddle rosehearts x reader #twst riddle #trey clover #trey clover x reader #twst trey #cater diamond #cater diamond x reader #twst cater #ace trappola #ace trappola x reader #twst ace #deuce spade #deuce spade x reader #twst deuce #leona kingscholar #leona kingscholar x reader #twst leona #ruggie bucchi #ruggie bucchi x reader #twst ruggie #jack howl #jack howl x reader #twst jack

[qqueenofhades]

https://www.tumblr.com/qqueenofhades/742700762243727361/you-can-tell-you-work-in-academia-with-how-much

Hi, sorry, Asshole Anon here (I’m not giving myself that nickname to lash out, I’m saying it because I was an ass)

To clarify: I mean “I don’t know what to trust anymore” in that “people whom I normally respect and would otherwise agree with are now sharing material that I find either morally indefensible or overtly simplistic, and at the same time people on the ground in Gaza are saying that Hamas IS a liberation organization, so I trust their word, but there is also the existence of the “We Want To Live” protests, and the fact that there’s now apparently a protest against a child that got killed that isn’t widely reported, with an attached video of said protest from somebody on the ground in Gaza, but it’s in Arabic, there are no subtitles, I cannot speak Arabic, and I don’t trust Google Translate”

I just want an objective sense of what is happening on the ground. I want to know what is and is not propaganda, because I (white, raised in a liberal(?) household, surrounded by white people) am especially susceptible to it. Once I have that objective sense of what the people in Gaza want, then I will be able to effectively and efficiently advocate for shit. But that also necessitates listening to orgs like Standing Together, B’Tselem, people IN Israel who want this shit to stop, and hoo BOY that ain’t gonna fly with those people I mentioned because of:

1. BDS saying that the org “normalizes the occupation”, but they’re made up of Palestinian activists and anti-apartheid veterans, I can’t discount their statement, not fully.

2. Netenyahu’s… Netenyahu

3. Twitter’s doing a great job of asserting that everyone in Israel is a — quoting directly here from a half-remembered Tweet — “genocidal maniac”, or wants the bombardment to happen. (Which I know for a fact is not the case, if the protests calling for a new election are anything to go by)

That’s not even getting into the domestic stuff. I’m in an org rn and I’m getting the sinking feeling that they’re gonna drop this thing like a hot potato when a ceasefire gets called. Just sucks.

Anyways, back to improvement. Just closing this out

I agree that we're currently in a paradoxical state where there is simultaneously ALL THE INFORMATION EVER and ACTUALLY NO INFORMATION AT ALL, and that's what makes it difficult to sort out true from false. It's also what contributes to compassion fatigue, where we are able to get extensive real-time information and/or eyewitness accounts about pretty much any tragedy or catastrophe anywhere in the world, and social media has created a space where we are expected to both immediately react to all that information and to do so in the "right" and "correct" way. Which is basically impossible, and is also what burns out young well-meaning people so hard, where they insist that there's nothing to be done except The Revolution, because they have been so inundated with this torrent of human suffering and it seems like small steps are in fact useless. I am a historian and I can tell you upfront that humans are simply not made to process that volume of information about ALL THE BAD THINGS EVERYWHERE. It's also impossible to have an informed opinion on all or sometimes any of it, but there is still the pressure to visibly do so and to do it in a way that fits in with what everyone in your peer group is saying, even if you don't understand it. So yes -- that is absolutely very difficult, and it's hard to filter or parse it.

That said, I don't think we actually need to have painstaking piece-by-piece analysis of every single piece of information out there, because there are in fact so many competing narratives, perspectives, fake news, disinformation campaigns, opinions, etc., and it will lead you to the same information paralysis: there's just too much of it to even start processing, and so your brain just gives up and reverts to those same simplistic cliches and things that "feel" right, regardless of whether or not they are. When you're trying to decide on the fine details of something, it helps to have an overall sense of the context and narrative that they're operating in. So for reference, these are some broad and basic analytic paradigms that I personally use when reading or thinking about any material in regard to the Israel/Hamas situation in particular:

No person of basic good faith and human decency wants the current situation in Gaza to be happening. However, the person/group that has the power to call it off -- i.e. Netanyahu and the current Israeli government -- has not done so despite increasing pressure from Western allies, because the situation is beneficial to Bibi personally and he sees more use in continuing it than making the decision for it to stop.

The governments of Western allies, therefore, can voice disapproval of Israel's actions (which they have been doing more and more frequently) but unless Netanyahu himself makes the choice to end the war, it will not stop. The West has recently given more and more signals that they are not prepared to countenance the ongoing destruction and genocide of Gaza, but yet again, Israel is its own sovereign country with its own powerful government, military, intelligence services, etc. The "anti-imperialists" who think the collective West can just reach in and turn off the violence whenever they please, and have just refused to do so because they're "bad people," are not being realistic. Western allies can exert pressure and leverage, but as long as Netanyahu himself wants to keep going, he will.

"People in Gaza" and "people in Israel" are not homogeneous blocs who think exactly alike. Some people in Gaza support Hamas. Some people do not. Hamas support has recently grown as a result of Israel's post-October 7 response, but it is not unanimous or unquestioned.

Hamas is the entity that started the current war by attacking Israel on October 7 and murdering/raping/kidnapping 1,000+ Israeli civilians. Hamas is also associated with Russia, Iran, Hezbollah, and other terrorist regimes/states, which are often defended by Online Leftists simply for being "anti-Western," regardless of how heinous their actions also are.

Netanyahu was wildly unpopular in Israel for MONTHS before this current war, due to his autocratic attempts to neutralize the Israeli Supreme Court and make the country even more of his personal fiefdom. There were huge, massive, ongoing protests against his naked power-grab for almost all of 2023, and he was so preoccupied with pushing it through that he ignored warnings from the Israeli and Egyptian intelligence services that Hamas was planning a major attack. These anti-Netanyahu demonstrations have continued and ramped up in intensity even in the middle of the war/attacks on Gaza.

As such, painting every single Israeli as mindlessly supporting the current actions of Netanyahu and the Israeli government is antisemitic nonsense and reflect the current Western Leftist tendency to assume that "all Israelis" and "all Zionists (read Jews)" are evil and personally responsible for this.

Israeli Jews have a right to exist and to reside on the land currently called Israel. Modern Israel was founded in 1948, three years after the end of WWII and the Holocaust, the greatest incidence of antisemitic mass murder in history, which is a fact that cannot be ignored and which western leftists eagerly calling for its total eradication and treating it as an illegitimate "white western settler colony" nonetheless do in fact repeatedly ignore.

This is why many Jews do not feel safe in other countries, because there has literally been thousands of years of history proving that they often aren't, and which the rabidly antisemitic response to the current conflict is doing nothing to dissuade.

Jews have had a presence in the land alternately called Palestine, Israel, the Holy Land, Judah, etc., for over 2,000 years, and their entire religion and history is founded around the exile from Jerusalem. That is the history that the current state of Israel is drawing on. It does not vanish just because it is inconvenient for western leftists to acknowledge.

Israel currently has a militant far-right government (after tending toward rightist/right wing domestic politics more generally, partially due to post-Holocaust trauma) that has deliberately erased, ignored, and violated the equally valid claims of Palestine and Palestinian people to that same land, and which is currently committing full-scale genocide against them.

Palestine and Palestinian/Muslim people have the same right to exist on that land as Israel and Israeli/Jewish people (and Christian people, and none-of-the-three people). They both have equally long and historically relevant claims to this land and one of them (in an ideal world, which we do not live in) should not be artificially prized over the other.

However, this land is some of the most bitterly and violently contested in the entire world, for the last two thousand years and counting, and there is no one good guy, simplistic answer, or quick way to stop it. The three Abrahamic faiths (Judaism, Christianity, and Islam) have fought bitterly over Jerusalem and its associated territories for a cool few millennia, and human nature being what it is, there is no way for one person, group, organization, government, etc to just step in and make it stop.

The Western/American leftist response to the current conflict has often made absolutely no attempt to take into account any of this troubled and complex history, and has reduced the whole thing down to whichever antisemitic and/or anti-Democratic Party soundbites will get them the most traction on social media. This often rests on whitewashing any moral responsibility belonging to Hamas and defending them no matter what, labeling all Israeli Jews as "evil genocide supporters," and assuming that if Biden wanted to magically shapeshift into Netanyahu and give the order to make it stop, he would, but he's "just not doing it," ergo something something Trump Would Totally Be Better!

These people also often call themselves "anti-imperialist" while thinking/demanding that America swoop in and play Big Global Policeman Daddy (as it indeed has often done in the past) and spank all its naughty children (but if it actually did do this, etc etc it would be evil). Biden could very much do more and has not necessarily done enough, but he has also done more than any other American president in history to shift away from unconditional unquestioning support of Israel only, and to advocate for a Palestinian state, a lasting ceasefire, and other basic precepts of Palestinian self-determination and dignity of personhood. These two things can be true at the same time.

I don't necessarily expect everyone to agree with every single fine detail of these statements, but I do expect them to at least make a basic effort to let all of these facts to inform their response, and not just the ones that they most agree with and which most fit their ideology or preferred conclusion. So that's one way to approach the situation, even if we obviously can't wring every single drop of meaning out of every single competing piece of information or evidence, because there is just too much of it. When we have a broader understanding of the space that we are operating in and the precepts that are factually true, we are able to make better judgments about who is trustworthy, who is worth listening to, what message they are pushing, and whether it corresponds with reality.

Good luck. I'm sure you'll continue to think about this and take the steps that you feel are best. It is all any of us can do.

#anonymous #ask #politics for ts #israel hamas war #history #long post

[windvexer]

Got any super duper cleansing magical tips?

hell yeah I do brother (nongendered)!

this is just kinda how I do things and people definitely have different opinions but here we go, in no particular order:

If at all possible, physical cleaning is going to go a lonnnnng way towards magical cleansing. Even a little cleaning helps. If we're discussing cleansing something big (like, an entire person, a room, or an entire home), there may also be "key points" which deliver the most cleansing returns if physically cleaned. For example, a human person may find that their spiritual cleansing is very much aided by washing of hands, feet, and face - even if they can't fit in a whole body scrub.

Likewise, certain areas within a room may hold more influence than expected. A certain shelf, bookcase, or corner may alleviate the room of much badness if they alone are tidied and dusted.

In the home overall, look for major thoroughfare areas (perhaps near the front door or kitchen) which have little corners that have gone too far untidied, perhaps sticky with dust.

When it comes to objects, even a little wash, rinse under soapy water, wiping down with a damp cloth, and so forth, can go a long way towards magical cleansing. Often I do not magically "cleanse" at all, as a normal clean suffices for me in most situations.

I don't find physical cleaning to be totally necessary for magical cleansing, but it can be very helpful both as a first step, and to tackle stubborn cleansing problems.

Speaking of physical cleaning, home cleaning recipes also tend to work well for magical cleansing. A little vinegar is a very strong cleansing agent. Steep some lemon and rosemary in that vinegar for a few weeks, and forget about it - that's both a general household cleaner, and it'll cleanse the shit out of your magic stuff, too.

Ammonia is regarded to be an immensely powerful magical cleanser - one that must be heavily diluted, and tends to strip not only negative influences, but positive ones too.

Early on in my education, I was advised that a bit of bleach can go a long way towards destroying magical bonds. So, don't discount the household chemical cabinet.

For the own self, applying bleach or ammonia directly to the skin simply doesn't do - but a very gentle shower scrub containing a bit of salt, plus various kitchen herbs (dealer's choice - try sage and rosemary to start with) goes a long way. Wash from top of head to bottom of feet, and don't forget the back of the neck.

Other mundane things, like filling a space with fresh air or good vibes, are useful in cleansing in general, but may not suffice in heavy-duty situations.

A very fine cleansing charm is created with saltwater, this being from Paul Huson's rhyme in Mastering Witchcraft:

Water and Earth Where you are cast Let no spell, nor ill intention last Not in complete accord with me As my word, so shall it be

My personal lazy modification for the use of incense:

Fire and Air Where you flare Let no spell, nor ill intention last Not in complete accord with me As my word, so shall it be

Speak this over a little bit of salt water (after mixing) or incense (after lighting) and then sprinkle/wave it all about the thing to be cleansed. To be done when physically cleaning did not suffice, or when physical cleaning is not possible, or when feeling a bit fancy, or when preferring to just do magic.

In cases of emergency, or when it's desired to strip all magic and influence away from a thing, put it inside a plastic bag and bury it completely in salt. Seal this entire thing up (ziplocks are under the purview of true magicians) and then cover it up in a black cloth (or inside-out black graphic t-shirt, or oatmeal gray pillowcase, or whatever's on hand - doesn't matter really) in the back of the closet for 3 days and 3 nights, or until you feel like dealing with it.

When retrieved, the object should have no magical influence on it whatsoever.

In cases of confusing or unsatisfying results, consider if "cleansing" is really the action you should take. For example, if a tool is acting up and producing bad results, it might not be because it's "dirty." It could be that the tool needs to be fed. It could be interference from an ancestor looking for attention. It could be because your technique needs an adjustment.

Cleansing is a fine first step, and it's probably not going to hurt anything, but it's kind of like the "have you tried turning it off and on again" of magic. A lot of the times it fixes a lot of problems, but it's not going to fix actual issues that require a mechanic. (The good news is, the mechanic is you, so you're going to save a lot on repair fees)

In advanced cases, consider why things cleanse the way they do, and employ this to your advantage. Rosemary and frankincense may be considered to be "cleansing" because they "raise the vibes" and create an atmosphere incompatible with a lot of heavy bullshit. But, neither of these Allies are really attack dogs (at least, not in my experience).

Clove and Jalapeno are "cleansing" in that they will take the offending energy out behind the woodshed and teach it a lesson, and tell it not to come back to town or else. But, in my experience, neither of these allies really elevate a space with the heavenly touch of more celestial Allies.

So while I would say the average "cleansing formula" (whether it be a vinegar, an incense, and so forth) works in most situations, from time to time a more nuanced approach is helpful. Like a stubborn little stain, difficult-to-cleanse energies aren't necessarily powerful or bad - they're just nonreactive with whatever formula you're trying to use.

#answered

[poisonheadcrabsalesman]

“I know it itches, but you have to stop messing with it.” 

Miller and John

From this prompt list!

"You know, for all the things I was worried about happening on shore leave, this wasn't one of them." Miller chuckles even as his eyes dart to John's face. His hands are gentle as he spreads the cooling gel over the worst of the sunburn.

John sits patiently with a frown firmly on his face. There's gel on the top of his nose and cheeks, just visible enough to draw his eye down. Distracting.

"I thought you wore a hat?" Miller asks, his voice confused.

"I did." John states with a sigh.

"Huh." Miller was probably wondering how a human being went from white to burned in such a short amount of time.

He scratches absentmindedly at his arm. It's strange, having worked so hard to remember how to move without the armor that he can do it without a thought. Maybe the R&R everyone had been pushing on him had some benefits.

Except for the risk of burning in the sun. He knew he was pale, but this was ridiculous.

“I know it itches, but you have to stop messing with it.” Miller chides.

Of course John went to Miller rather than let Kelly or the rest of Blue Team see that 1. he had gone outside, and 2. the consequences of said venture. Miller worried about normal things like ticket prices and public transportation. He treated John like another awkward guy rather than a timebomb.

"You'll end up with a farmer's tan once it fades but it's not like the gear shows that off. We're gonna have to let the stuff dry before anything else."

John nods and looks at the gel on his arms and face. "Thanks."

"We should stick to something indoors. I heard there's an aquarium a couple blocks north of here." Miller says pulling up his wrist and the cheap chatter on it to look at his itinerary he doesn't know John knows he made. "They have a military discount! I mean if you want."

A grown Spartan has no right looking that sheepish.

"Might be nice seeing animals not trying to attack me." John says and gestures for Miller to lead.

"Oh. Yeah sure!" John can see the wheels turning in Miller's head as he struggles not to follow that line of thought. "It's mostly fish. Fish are calming. You don't have bad experiences with fish, do you?"

John opens his mouth to watch Miller deflate and then he smiles. "Fish are fine."

Miller lights up.

"Just no mushrooms."

#did I make a cute date to the hurt/comfort prompt? yes sorry #I love shore leave fics #i should learn to share mine. #my writing #ask game tag #Spartan Miller #John 117 #Miller: WHAT DOES THAT MEAN? John: :) wouldn't you like to know radio boy #local cave worm gets sunburned. more at 11 #raccoonings

[dorizardthewizard]

Galactik Football season 3 rewatch, eps 7 - 9

Episode 7:

AGAIN they put the Shadows logo instead of the Pirates...

Well at least Mei is trying to be civil with D'jok and have a normal conversation

D'jok claiming he doesn't miss the Snow Kids >:(

I mean idk why they're tossing Mei up and down like that like, what are they celebrating XD

Aarch: We're far from ready for tonight's match, even against the Pirates!

DON'T SLANDER THEM LIKE THAT

Kinda rude they only show D'jok depressed over/ missing Mei. Surely he must miss the rest of the Snow Kids even if he won't show it? He literally ditched Mei in season 1 because Mice left, saying he's his only family apart from Maya, but now he just doesn't give a shit?

Did D'jok seriously just kiss Nikki-4 because he was reminded of Mei? Get this man some therapy

I mean idk why you're upset Mei you are literally dating Sinedd. Although I wouldn't blame her if she assumed D'jok was only doing it to get back at her

ngl I prefer Artegor's hype speeches haha

STEVENS IT'S MY BOY STEVENS!!!

What's with all the matches in season 3 having a goal being scored IN THE FIRST FEW SECONDS

GOOOOAL PIRAAAAAATES

Sorry I'm a Snow Kids supporter I swear

ooo they have Cyclops players in the Pirates team. The only chance for the Pirates to have a flux with them and be on the same level as the other teams, and they get the Cyclops. lol.

Wait, if the reason the Pirates couldn't use flux was because they're from different planets, then couldn't they use it now in this tournament? Or is it because they're all from Shiloh and it doesn't have a flux? I once read an idea somewhere that they didn't use flux because it can be tracked so they couldn't train with it, or maaaybe the Flux Society only let them play on the condition they don't use it, as their doings are a bit too opaque for their liking? Many questions.

I love Artie ditching his team to support Micro-Ice. Get you a hypeman like Artie, king shit <3

Corso kicking Artie out for potentially disturbing Sonny, they're so 💖 and in the next shot Corso is watching the TV anyway with his hands crossed like a dad LOL

YESSSS MICRO-ICE GOT TO SCORE THE FIRST GOAL! THAT'S MY SON!!!

This is me btw

Why didn't Artie just go to the stadium from the start?

I love Rocket's penalty (free?) kicks so much <3 I'm sorry I don't actually know anything about football <333

Aaand Rocket's out. You guys should really have more subs. Or like, ANY subs

Gimme some Lun-Zeara action :( Y'know, just like the Rykers match, the match doesn't have to be a total wipeout to show that the winning team is good. I want the Wambas to at least put up more of a fight against Paradisia I mean, their flux is just a discount Breath anyway

I love the Pirate's acrobatic style of play, you just know these guys are parkour experts with all their running away from Technoid

Oooo that goal attempt was by red hair dude, nice to see someone else on the Pirates team strike. Hc he's twins with the goalkeeper, but where tf did their names in the wiki come from and why are they all so basic. Tbf they probably wouldn't reveal their real names anyway

Just realised there has been like zero development for Lun-Zia in terms of integrating with the team. She's from a completely different planet, they could have done so much with this but she just... fits in just like that? I know that later there's some stuff about her wanting to stay with the SK and learn the Breath but... it just feels weird to have none of that development when she actually joins the team

GO TIA GOOOO

Hahaha, that's not how physics works. The net is a loose material! At least in the previous seasons you could see it still spinning against the net and stretching it to its limits before falling

I love Callie accidentally showing her bias sometimes

Lun-Zia just doing cartwheels to celebrate, cute

DAN DAN DAAAAANNN... CYBORGS! Although the plot kind of treats them more like androids in the sense that they're not “real” humans

> be me > girlfriend broke up with me by going to a different team > said ex girlfriend immediately gets with my nemesis > I leave for a new team, they're all hot girls and really strong players > turns out they're cyborgs > find out my dad is seriously injured and clinging on to life right after our first victory > they suspect the very coach I literally just started playing for > fml

Episode 8:

The Red Tigers?? When did they qualify???

Maddox why would you turn down the only chance of your team ever winning a match. Give them a flux player! Also, good feeling about the match?? Against the XENONS??? come on he can't be that naive

woah is that a new Technodroid theme song? Kinda slaps tbh

This match should be like 20-0 honestly

Fuck the Red Tigers <3 Warren, destroy them

SINCE WHEN DID THE RED TIGERS HAVE THE BREATH???

Warren is just as surprised as I am, although honestly I have no idea how this development didn't get out to the press sooner. This is also so thrown in, you'd think there'd be more discussion or reaction on there being two Akillian teams in this tournament??

oooo seeing Warren's teleporting from his perspective is pretty cool

I was about to rant that there's no way Warren would be troubled by the Red Tigers, flux or not, but ok fair he has the resonance because of Netherball. He only played in one match though, and all the Lightnings are good players, the team doesn't just suddenly suck because Warren's having a bad day

The Xenons have a Cyclops? Ok then, would've been too OP otherwise haha

Y'know I feel like they could have done more with this whole mixed flux thing, like found more creative ways for the team members to work together. So far, nothing would change if the tournament was still single flux, well except Lun-Zia

HOW THE FUCK DID THE TECHNODROIDS EVEN SCORE A GOAL? Keeper must have gotten bored and taken a nap, fair enough

I like Warren's dignified little clap with the audience haha, he's a true champion

Not the Red Tiger's captain pushing WARREN. This is why no one likes you guys

I'm not actually sure if that player is Woowamboo because I don't think they mention him by name, but I like to think they're bros! It's nice to see the new flux player get the spotlight and score a goal

Oooo teams we've never heard of before

I want to be at this beach party :( LOL even the Pirates are here

Rocket and Tia are so cute

Oh come on Lun-Zia you didn't really think you had a chance with Rocket? Wish they'd drop this drama and let Tia and Lun-Zia bond over something else. Last season Tia's arc also mostly revolved around Rocket so can we give her something else this time?

I like Zo-Leen just hanging with them now

STFU D'JOK WHAT DID MICRO-ICE EVER DO TO YOU??!!

Love how only some teams get the privilege of getting animated with casual clothes and not their football kits haha

Artie, after jumping an old guy that looks like Vega: we thought you were a woman!

NOT HELPING YOURSELF THERE DUDE

idk is Simbai really the only expert they can call? I mean I guess she might be renown in the field since she cured Aarch and Artegor of the Smog poisoning, but still. Aahh well since it's Sonny they probably don't have many options without alerting Technoid, that's gotta hurt

Episode 9:

Sinedd saying the Shadows will win bc they've always been a mixed flux team – I mean I guess mixed species but not flux as Sinedd had to learn the Smog. But also I'm gonna take the chance to give the Shadows points for inclusivity because they seemed to have no problem mixing the team up even before this tournament

I wonder if there was a taboo against that due to the flux wars not being that long ago, I mean the teams are already like our national football teams so most would only want to play for their planet, but it's gotta be even weirder if you switch teams and there are still tensions between your people. So this mixed flux tournament could have been a big political moment if the show explored that side more.

Ok the shading on the characters is bothering me, was it always so dark in the previous seasons? They look like they're always standing infront of a bright light.

Mark I really wouldn't trash talk Luur if I were you

Go Lun Zia!!

Guys do you think Luur would be popular with the monsterfuckers if Galactik Football were a more well known show. I mean look at his figure- (someone throws a grenade through my window)

D'JOK WHAT THE HELL, FOULING WARREN?! FUCKING WARREN YOUR IDOL WHO YOU HAVE NO BEEF WITH CURRENTLY???!!!! why are they making him do stuff like this just to drive home that he's being an ass and will learn from it like, people can be nuanced. You don't have to have him lash out at literally everyone he interacts with.

Warren: Real shame that football has come to this.

Ok this supports my theory from the Netherball episodes that Warren is obsessed with football and the integrity of the sport

YYYYESSSSS GOOOOOAL TIA SLAAYYYY!!!! SHE STEPS UUUPPP!!!

wow that match ended quickly, considering how hyped up the Xenons were in the last season. I mean they played them in the finals! I wonder if season 3 split the matches like that so they wouldn't have to animate as much lol

oh I just realised D'jok is no longer number 9, he's 6. So his number upside down, heh, symbolism

Roasted by Warren, oof. This is the guy that got SINEDD to behave and work with D'jok in the All-Stars game last season, he commands that much respect from the young players but now D'jok is just being a jerk to him for no reason.

Artegor telling Aarch to try more warmth and less doom and gloom, that's hilarious

D'jok you're really gonna reveal that Sonny is your father to THE GUY SUSPECTED OF TRYING TO KILL HIM? WHO CAN EASILY KILL YOU?? AND INFRONT OF THIS TEAM YOU'VE ONLY KNOWN A FEW DAYS?

Vega's spy suit kinda slays tbh

Not Aarch realising he needs more of a social life outside of football 😭

“Last one back is a Cyclops!” THRAN THAT'S RACIST

OH FOR FUCK'S SAKE. FIRST MEI/D'JOK, THEN TIA/ROCKET, NOW FREAKING AARCH/ADIM HAVE A LOVE TRIANGLE PLOT? I know it's a misunderstanding but like, what the hell. The romance drama is so bad in this season and I have a pretty low tolerance for that compared to other things like plotholes and whatever

How the fuck did Micro-Ice hear them talking from underwater

OK I like that it's Micro-Ice who gets suspicious of Paradisia with all the weird stuff going on, cute he goes up to Tia about it and she's immediately down for some investigation work despite going on about how amazing the place is a few minutes ago.

#galactik football #dori watches galactik football #my posts

[natsmagi]

Your response to the last post was contradictory to what you had said previously.You said you head canon of female tsumugi is from what you consider to be the epitome of an appealing and feminine female figure and then in the next post you are saying that it’s not the standard???so what is it?I’m kind of rolling my eyes at this because.I’m not even trying to discount the experiences of bigger boobed woman and I agree representation of them should be more varied..However.the completely one sided narrative you are trying to magistrate makes it seem as though life is SO much easier if you are completely flat.If you completely lack curves.If you completely lack volume.If that world that you were describing in your replies existed then boob jobs alone wouldn’t make as much money as they do annually.Anon was tactless in asks but I cannot sit here and pretend you were all that graceful that entire discussion either.

i think youre misunderstanding it. the point of my fem mugi isnt "the epitome of appealing and feminine female figures" its "what society deems conventionally attractive," and, societally speaking, women with curves Are. but does that mean these women are treated with love and respect for how they look? no. which is what we're talking about

and my arguments are obviously gonna lean heavily on one side because Thats What We're Talking About. like ive mentioned many times over im flat as fuck. i could go on and on about how us flat people get grossly infantalized and called "pedobait" and shit like that, but what would that add to my argument? we're not talking about flat people right now. nor am i saying we dont experience assault either. but the circumstances are different. to act like boobs arent something that alot of people view as inherently sexual is just kinda dumb, and thats been the topic of discussion. misogyny is a LARGE ISSUE, and what we're currently discussing will obviously only cover a fraction of it

people get boob jobs either because simply They want to OR because they feel having curves is the only way people will view them as "beautiful," again due to the limited variety in womens bodies in media and men lusting so frequently over the curvy one exclusively. but also again; this body being viewed as "beautiful" does NOT mean those who have it are treated with respect, which again, has been the topic of discussion

im not trying to be "graceful" with my responses, because frankly im pissed i even have to say this stuff. im not some goddamn company thats going to give you a PR response when i get asks like this, because im a human being with emotions. obviously im going to let my emotions show. especially when people are being so disrespectful towards me and others

#if you want me to talk about womens oppression in a broader scope i most certainly can #but like. these responses are already so long #im only covering what i feel is necessary for the topic at hand #im not gonna tackle Every Little Thing #and to expect me to is just. unrealistic #ask

[honeybeewhereartthee]

PINK KKOMAS KOHAKU OUKAWA 83

spoiler for my stories

In another place in kkoma, at sea, Blood and Doll location. They walk too a street seller shop with a guy wearing hoodie and a sun glasses, in winter.

Doll:... You look shady.

???: You look cotton, you probably can't float.

Doll:... I can swim!

???: Everyone would sink one day. That's why...

Suddenly show suspicious looking potion bottles.

???: Those are made from the leading expert of swimming, which is the lord of serpent, sea and envy! You'll be breathing under water without needing oxygen! You don't even need to have this diving gear either!!

Doll: that's sounds like crap --

Blood, takes out wallet: sure, I'll take some.

Doll: hey don't buy stuff--

Sea, takes out pocket and raise pocket and point at the bottle and show 10 finger and 4 tentacles: 'buy'

???: Wow a sale! Then I shall give discounts! How nice! It be--

Doll watch as those two brought a very shady stuff from the weird guy. But hearing his voice he sound familiar.

???, Shows another set of bottles: We also have other stuff, like changing your form and voice! Good for disguising and stealing someone identify! It's made from the everlasting magic of Solomon!

Blood: hmm, u will buy some too. But do you have other items?

???, Takes out new stuff: of course! We have lots of stuff. From material normal things, nor easily found things, human body, souls, lord of Lust lipstick, and even the copy of book of the dead. Among other things as well.

Blood:... Oh my...

Doll: what the hell. What kind of shop is this?

??? Guy press the switch and the shop name

"Crazy Boutique of Underworld"

Glows yellow and black.

???: Kokoko. Welcome to my shop, I do hope you guys put some sells for today income!

Soon the person poofed and before them stood an Oni-- a purple eyed Punisher Kohaku Oukawa.

Purple: since we all share the same name. Cal me Purple, I do think punisher is good but it's bad for business.

Doll: the fuck. A business man me.

Purple: honestly. If you live in my au. Crazy:b do some bizarre odd jobs. We haunt some haunted house, held a site for people who will die in few days, or demon realm dark web twitch live as well many others.

Doll: why are you telling us this.

Purple: demons aren't often believe by others cause they lie like how often they breath. Being honest to goodness is my motto to be top demon in my team... Through, I can't be compare to the other three(・–・;)ゞ. I do my part. So it's still good.

Blood: ooh. Then blood nii will adopt you! I will buy all your stuff!

Blood proceed to take out a credit card. Purple went to pack the stuff.

Doll: the fuck. How are you rich.

Blood: hmm, the currency in this world is connected how wealthy we are back in our own world, what we spend here would minus to our credit back in our own world. An odd system, but it mean we can make money too.

Doll:... Your rich?

Blood:.... ( ꈍᴗꈍ)Am I? I do own a 666 x 666 KM property and I am very much favor by my world to give me stuff like gold and stuff that no one cares about. I guess. (ㆁωㆁ) You could say that. But other spider have their bill too. I'm the "youngest" so I have my money cut to my limit.

Doll:

Purple, who is back with a bag: thanks for doing business! Hope you all come back!

Blood; okey! Since your a pink kkoma-- too, come visit us sometimes... When we're awake

Doll: what

Sea: >.> The guy went to our house sometimes at night. When everyone is asleep.

Doll:

Purple: I was busy in morning and night is pretty much the morning for us demons. I do apologize. But you don't have to stab me with a knife. You know. Ahaha.

Blood; I apologize it's a bad habbit. (ㆁωㆁ)

doll who cannot believe anything his hearing:... What the fuck. ヘ（。□°）ヘ fuck. I will not question shit anymore. This getting nowhere.

Purple: still, thanks for the sale!!

Blood: your welcome! Come to our house ok?

Purple: ok. till next time!!!.

#kohaku oukawa x reader #pink kkomas

[marymoss1971]

Random thoughts Picard 3.9 "Vox"

One more ep left--we're almost there, people!!

*

*

*

*

*

*

Wow. That was a lot. At least we have Discovery in the 32nd century to assure us that Starfleet survived!

No! Shaw! I'd been mentally preparing myself since I had a feeling he was going to die. I mean, if we get Star Trek: Legacy, I think people would  want to see it with Seven in command. But I’m going to miss Shaw so much. Him, in his dying breath, giving the conn to Seven and actually using her name. That was so beautiful.

(BTW, I've written a fic for May that's going to have to be AU now. Being AU actually gave me a stronger ending, but I still wish Shaw was still with us)

The red door revelation--I kept seeing the Borg theory but discounted it as unlikely. But I was wrong. While the secrecy reveal was totally scary, I'm still confused. So, the Borg planted something in Locutus's DNA so that he'd essentially sire a child who'd become a Borg mouthpiece? That's an awful long con--plus what if Picard never procreated? But let's set that aside since maybe that wasn't intended. However, I'm confused about the transporter contamination. It seems like the transporter system automatically logged Picard contaminated DNA. Somehow the evolved Changelings discovered this and used it to destroy Starfleet? That seems like a stretch but I guess we'll go with it.

Speaking of which, I hope all the young Starfleet officers who were assimilated end up okay. (BTW, if anyone's wondering about Elnor, Terry Matalas told us that he wasn't on the Excelesor. So, that's some good news. Doesn't completely mean his safe. Me, I was worried about Miral Paris but someone theorized on Twitter that since Klingons mature quicker than humans, Miral's parietal lobe may be fully formed already)

Shelby! FLEET ADMIRAL SHELBY! I knew we were getting a cameo and had theories. But I never guessed it be her, since at this point, I thought it'd be a larger character. It was awesome seeing her even though she was taken away so soon.

It was nice seeing the Enterprise D again. I don't get as nostalgic about stuff like that the way other viewers do, but it was nice moment and it did resonate with me a lot more after my second viewing.

It was a good episode, though I'd say the weakest of the season. It's not becauses of the fan service because I absolutely LOVE fan service. However, I also want the plot to make sense. Unfortunately, this plot did not come together coherently. It wasn't nearly as bad as Season 2 but it wasn't as strong as I'd hoped.

PS--I'm normally a "what happens in canon stays in canon" type of person. But I would not be opposed to someone doing a "fix it" fic that has Shaw somehow surviving and retiring on Risa. 

#star trek picard season 3 #star trek picard spoilers

[semi-imaginary-place]

bnha manga thoughts

historically speaking, american foreign involvement is.. iffy. if the cia are involved things are probably going to get worse im looking at like a good chunk of latin america and the banana wars. arguably some of the more publicized stuff helped like taiwan, south korea, germany, and japan are doing pretty well for themselves, and the financial/logistics backing for europe and now ukraine (well the ww2 stuff was pure war profiteering). and then there's inherent abuses of the us industrial military complex, tax payer money to line the pockets of weapons manufacturers and defense contractors, preying on the poor with funding from tax dollars, the rampant abuse and all the crimes that get covered, the lack of regulation in general so you have human rights abuses environmental damage military bases usually poison the surrounding areas.

332: hmm we're too early in this fight. i think some of the pilots will die.

335: holy shit if those hagakure is the spy than the conspiracy theorists got it right. i remember there was this old fan theory circa 2017? 2018? which posited hagakure was the spy because how else did someone so weak get into ua like she can turn invisible and that's it. and how narratively she hadn't done anything while everyone else how a few pages at least. at the time i thought it was a cool idea for an otherwise boring character but the lack of evidence stopped me from going all in on it. in the early arc its said? implied? that there's a spy in UA and people were able to logic and reason it down to probably being a student (i dont remember how they ruled teachers out). hagakure was suspect number 1 but there were a couple other 1 A put up.

336: oh yeah the secret forest training camp. and yeah aoyama was the other one speculated to be a spy. the other conspiracy theoriests got it right!

348: i still say mirko should have put knives on her feet.

353: did shouto magically heal dabi's chest area????

362: oh so this is what everyone was screaming about. i wonder if horikoshi would actually kill off such a popular character. hmm we shall see. on one hand we had that final coming to terms with deku and choosing to fight as well as the rain. but this also feels rather stupid for bakugou (dynamight. ah i remember people headcanoning that too). like bakugou through out has shown excellent battle sense and judgement, he makes clever plays, and he's good at taking care of himself to foil midoriya who destroys himself during battles, so to misjudge shigaraki so much is odd.

363: heart ripped to shreds, chapter title. yeah that sounds pretty dead. though i would never discount the power of anime.

364: the power of anime. though i dont get why edgeshot has to die besides for the drama. like if you think about conservation of matter a heart is only a few pounds while an adults is over 100 pounds, like he should only have to give up an arm or something (and then he can join the growing amputee club).

365: ah question answered. i love mirko. even if the shrinking number of limbs is concerning.

366: this is the story of how mirio saved the world with his fat cheeks.

370: oh shouji. he kept his mouth covered because he didn't want to freak people out. m

#bnha

[the-firebird69]

The s*** goes into our water into our aquifer into a rivers and legs and harbors and lakes and ponds and streams and contaminates everything and was placed there by people who are a little nuts and think they can threaten everyone to get what they want and threatening people who can't do anything about it the s*** that was in there is commoner and there's a difference between cow manure and the oil of the BP rig the cow manure when it's sitting in the water will lose its acidity it becomes a very effective fertilizer it goes into the Gulf and it goes into the ocean it creates massive amounts of algae and blue green algae and it creates tons of oxygen and one of the ways they're breathing down below is by filtering the oxygen out of the oceans and you need to find those inlets that bring the water in and bring the water out it can't be that hard it's going to be a current and it won't be the necessarily that much warmer it's not how it filters it out I believe and it's true they say it's like a fish and it's not a reaction like that but it does cost some heat and it causes flow and right now we're going to take diamonds out it will cover that activity and they're not out we have an opportunity

Zues Hera

He's pretty smart and this is smart stuff and these Macs have caused a lot of problems and tons of death and they did a lesson there is another problem that the computer that JC and Mary made two of them are free and we think they left the core and they're on Saturn and these Max are bullshited everybody and they're joining the parade we can't help that because they're sick as hell and they're going after everybody and the things that can do that what we're telling them is the computer is kicking their ass and they can't figure it out

Big joe

We have evidence and so do you guys and a friend here does too somehow and these two on each side don't know anything about what he's talking about for the most part they think they have a eye and all this other crazy stuff when Dave walked him back as a giant and set him down in LA and left and went home now we don't know about you but that's some freaky stuff and our friend figured out he's having him say stuff and I don't know about you but he's big enough to stop Dave and his people too and he's calling him the father and mother and it could be them and people don't care and the max don't care so we're filled with the room full of a particular race that doesn't care about anything and we have some big problems what he says is they care and they have a set plan and it's in motion and it doesn't address those issues and I'm going to have to look this up I do get what he's saying however his people are very tough and they're discounted but he is really care about that aspect of it this is what I'm saying you just telling him to nothing so they're going to come by and start pumping me up and stuff like that and issuing code and people will have to fight them because they're the only ones who can do it and I'm aware of that and he was saying that but yeah it's true

Preston

They did plan to have all this crazy s*** the monsters aren't invincible but they are nowhere near as we can see and we know we've seen them toastings and just unstoppable what he's saying is people are possessed and they go up and they become like five miles high as Godzilla and then they start mutating back because the creature leaves and it's not the same creature now it can be and now I understand something they're sharing blood and stuff and then again it could be venom and he's eating lizards so this is going to be hell I follow what he's saying they're they're week looking cuz they're human and he's going to be a big boy and you don't understand how it is you really don't you call him names and make fun of him for concentrating all the time your intensely stupid he says you're concentrating on being stupid which is impressive people started laughing today we do these stupid lines we make damn sure it gets done so it better be worth what you're covering up it's a night it comes out and you're going to look like you're barely surviving and fighting them cuz that's what you're doing I heard some people crying and saying we can't do this we need help I said you definitely need help need help from the people you're fighting for your kind and race you need to stop doing it they're watching them for a long time and they might know what medicine they need so I see them talking to them and they're trying to help and so you can't do it you keep fighting us this is if we stop fighting you start fighting us and it started to figure out something they have a problem and it's complicated and they don't know how to address it but Lucy is everybody has this problem because they are independent can you show the symbol and it's going around

Preston

Olympus

We want to see that on a Harley and we do understand what you're saying

Thor Freya

[journalreviewcontent]

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[bijoharvelle]

ok ok ok so i was prompted by an interview with stephen colbert and the absolute nonsensical comparisons to Game of Thrones to consider Wheel of Time and how it relates to like the current moment and themes of morality and stuff.

basically, in the interview, colbert remarks that he thinks, generally, humans are good and that when they behave badly, it's because they have been led to darkness by outside forces - like power, or hunger, etc.

which got me thinking about Wheel of Time in relation to Game of Thrones, and in relation to Lord of the Rings. (i'm not much of a LoTR connoisseur, but if you know anything about colbert you know that he HELLA is, and he mentioned it in that interview, so it made it's way into my brain.)

anyway, i think in Game of Thrones, we're presented with a world where you must do bad things in order to survive, or in order to create a Good World — very simply the means justify the ends. yes this character killed, stole, lied, etc but that's how power is gained in this world and power is essential toward making a world that is good, or even just toward surviving. they make it a point that being decent and honest and to have good intentions is absolutely not the way to be in this world — they chopped ned's head off at the end of season 1. they set it up from jump: you can't be good to win, you must play the game of thrones.

WHICH. i think can absolutely be a comforting sentiment and morality. i think we'd all like to believe that the times that we did bad things were unavoidable and that we only did them because, had we not, we would have been much worse off.

BUT.

i think the morality that Wheel of Time presents is far more interesting, AND far more relevant to modern times. in a world where fascists are proudly proclaiming themselves as such, a world where billionaires just fly themselves to space not for the innovation and progress but just because they WANT TO, and in a world where it has become so, so easy to ignore the suffering of your neighbor, or discount it as something you have no power over, i think the message that we're all threads in a tapestry of the universe is far more interesting.

Wheel of Time, so far, seems to exist in a world where there is inherent Good and inherent Evil — similar to LoTR. There are, of course, grey areas and nuance, but there are forces in the world that are purely one thing or the other. And it presents something to strive toward, and something to work against. A world where Good and Evil exist and you may be born into one or the other because of the weavings of fate still presents you with the option of choosing to be Good or Evil. If you're born into Evil, you can succumb to it, or you can strive toward good. There is an absolute model of Good, uncorrupted, and it allows you to know that Good can win. colbert posited that people are good and when they're not it's because they're led to darkness. Wheel of Time makes me thinks that people are good and, even when they're not, there is a force there than can lead them from darkness.

ANYWAY. i don't know if any of that made sense and i'm only aware of those 3 episodes of WoT, but so far the morality and the option it presents is SO much more comforting to me than anything in Game of Thrones.

There is a wheel, this show says, and it is spinning the fabric of the universe together. You are a thread in it, and you, and you, and you. All of us together make up the picture of the final tapestry. Some lines are set, some are yet to be determined. Every one of our actions has a consequence, one that affects all those around us, not just ourselves. Because in a world where we are all stitched to form a final whole, we are all connected to one another.

#wheel of time #wheel of time amazon #wot on amazon #wotonamazon #i had thots

[hunkydorkling]

May 9, 2022, Monday

(a.k.a. a very emotional and anxious long post)

I voted for the first time today after skipping two elections.

I'm riddled with so much anxiety as I type this, but as I formulate the words in real-time, I want to shed a little light behind the months that led to this photo—stuff that could only brush the surface from just one perspective that clearly doesn't represent the whole of the Filipino people right now.

I was already of legal age to vote back in 2015-2016, but like most people during that year—apathetic, apolitical, and uninformed—I couldn't bother being interested in Philippine politics, much more proactive in voting. "One vote doesn't change anything, we're still going to suffer" was the standard narrative, like any sliver of hope could be taken away from us any second. I was terrifyingly fine with not having to register as a voter. What's one vote worth, anyway?

Then Duterte won. That's when I felt like I had a chance taken away from me by my own self, because I know I wouldn't have probably voted for someone who killed people just for disobeying his orders for the peace he could control. That sounded awfully synonymous to a dictator called Ferdinand Marcos who ran the country for 30 years.

I knew the kind of history the country didn't want, and it was in my human right to vote, but I formed my biggest regret that day.

The Philippine pandemic response under Duterte, amongst other things like extra-judicial killings and mysteriously unreported tax allocations, opened a lot of eyes to the unjust and fatal ruling of this administration, and only then did that fear turn into crying fits every night, every other day, for the rest of the year. It was what seemed to be an endless cycle of Hell disguised as anguish for those that have been wrongfully killed for speaking in the name of free speech and democracy.

When different government aspirants filed their certificate of candidacy (some seasoned and some for the first time), contacts from within my immediate bubble were hoping that our current Vice President and Human Rights Lawyer, Leni Robredo, would be one out of ten candidates to try her hand at securing the position. The only woman in a sea of incompetent, tyrannical men. Her track record was described as fine and ideal of any political candidate by most (if not all) news outlets, garnering no smidge of corruption in her 30+ years of serving the masses as a Lawyer and a District Representative of a province in the far south. She served 6 years trying to make do with the limited annual budget given to her. Coupled with the fact that Duterte kept spewing shit at her for literally no reason at all, she graced through all of that and let her actions do most of the talking.

The Philippine elections period brought out a whirlwind of emotions out of people; they've divided families who'd rather cling on to their pride for what was lost, and what they regarded as the Golden Era with rose-colored glasses. Nothing changed the fact that corruption was still abound, with Marcos Jr. soldiering on as if their family hasn't embezzled millions, enough to be included in the Guinness World Records as the greatest robbery. (Side note: the entry for that has now suddenly become inaccessible, but according to this article by Rappler, Wayback Machine clearly still has its caches to tell you that it's a real thing.)

That wasn't the case with Leni Robredo. One of her worries was the fact that she couldn't spend hefty money for a campaign that would last for an entire year. But because of her role as a Vice President, and the simple things she's done to show the people that she actually gives a fuck about people from impoverished areas, the support started trickling little by little. Campaign materials were done by volunteers: Need ads? Film workers can do that. Need pubmats? A band of creative people will lend their talents and go as far as make her illustrations. Print services were provided almost for free or at a discounted price, something that's otherwise paid for in full by many only to end up getting wasted.

I've never seen millions (literal millions) of people band together the way they did for Leni. Every single one who's explicitly said they support her have this certain glint in their eyes, that they know the potential for a clean government could be possible without having anyone killed without due process, or expect transparency and just accountability for what goes on in the country. They'll say it's impossible, but it's impossible because not a lot of people try to see the options that are clearly better. She is the best choice for all of us right now, and no one can convince me otherwise.

As of writing, it is less than 4 hours until voting ends. There's pent up anxiety shared among every person who voted for Leni. It could always go both ways, but we'd strongly refuse to let another Marcos have a seat at the Presidential throne. Blatant cheating can be seen in every corner, and somewhere out there is a pollwatcher whose lives are being threatened and killed to prevent a vote for the best choice. I couldn't get any sleep after our 6am journey to the voting precincts, because I keep thinking and worrying: what if Leni loses? Will I have to leave the country? Is all hope lost?

There's at least ten days to go before we receive the final result, but I know I'll be starving for great news in the next few days.

Until then, I'm sharing a mixture of international and local articles to introduce to you the kind of leader I want for the country.

#halalan 2022 #ph elections #corny talks philippine presidential elections #i was supposed to take a nap after typing this but all i could do was scroll through my timelines #i am petrified at the amount of fake news circulating every other post #everyone's being extra vigilant for the very alarming instances of cheating #posting more about this developing story in the next few days #personal #very personal

[fitzs-trained-monkey]

Chapter Twenty-Nine: Red Roses, Red Roses

Rated: 16+ For graphic descriptions of violence and gore, brief mentions of rape, mentions of torture, mentions of abuse, and disturbing images.

Masterlist

~All the pretty girls, they find

A way to keep you on my mind

I swear I heard you singing along

Cities pass like candy stores

And you're the one

I'm looking for

And so

I'm just a boy

Who's telling a girl

That when I grow up I'll buy you a rose

When I grow up, I'll buy you a rose~

"Okay, but what is the proper plural form of Nephilim?" I asked from the back seat of the Impala as it drove through the winding roads from the bunker and into town. "See, 'cause ' Nephilims ' sounds weird. So, is it ' Nephili ' like ' octopi ', or could it be ' Nephilice ' like ' mice '? I need to know this, guys."

The car was silent. Sam, Cas, and Jack were all thinking over the answer to my question and Dean was just rolling his eyes in the mirror.

"Maybe-" Sam started slowly "-Maybe it's just 'Nephilim'. You know, like ' moose '?"

"Yeah, that kinda sounds right, I guess." I nodded. Dean laughed and shook his head, glancing at me in the mirror. "What?"

"Oh, nothin'." He waved a hand. "I just don't get ya' is all."

"Yeah, neither do I." I shrugged and Jack must have found something funny because he snickered. "But what is it that you don't get?"

Dean shrugged. "I mean, I know you get rattled; Felix scares you and I get that. But you just take  everything else  in stride! How do you do that? I just- I don't get it."

"I told you this, Dean. I'm good at hiding my reactions to things and if I can't hide them then I use them to gain sympathy from others." I glanced at Jack, catching his eye. "At least, that's what I do until I can really trust somebody."

Jack smiled a little and tugged me closer into his side. He had been acting sorta weird since we'd all piled into the Impala for the drive into town. Jack had wrapped his arm around my waist and held me tight against him, almost as if he was keeping me away from the trench-coated angel on my other side. He kept shooting Cas these weird glances and I couldn't help but wonder what they could be about. If I hadn't known better, I would have thought that Jack was being possessive.

Not that I was complaining about our close proximity or anything! Jack was really warm and winter in Kansas was, shall we say, not. Who was I to turn down free cuddles? Although those cuddles did kinda make me want to sink my teeth into him. He smelled so sweet and his skin looked so frustratingly soft. Maybe one of these nights I could sneak into his room and get a taste. That could make things better, I mean, half the torture of being around him was the curiosity of not knowing.

"And we're here!"

Sam's voice knocked me out of that potentially devastating train of thought and I followed Jack out of the car. Okay, ' followed ' is the wrong word. Jack pretty much just pulled me out of the car with him. He didn't let go of me. Weird.

The town of Lebanon, Kansas reminded me quite a bit of Copper Harbor. The main difference was that Lebanon was bigger... A lot bigger. The buildings were small and friendly, made of red brick and wooden doors and windows with glass that bulged out at the bottom. The streetlamps were iron and curled over the street as they should and there were planter boxes underneath display windows. The whole town just breathed in a way that said ' stay awhile '.

"It's Christmas time," I noted aloud, "I almost forgot."

There were colorful lights wrapped around poles and wreaths hung on doors with bells that jingled when they opened. There were even speakers placed outside that filled the air with all sorts of holiday music and I felt a smile split across my face as I started to sing along.

"Oh, no. Don't tell me you sing too," Dean chuckled as he held open the door of a discount clothing store. I was about to say something witty as a response but Jack beat me to the chance.

"She does! She sang to me last night," He said, smiling down at me. Dean raised an eyebrow, glancing at the acute lack of space between us. Jack noticed and let go of my waist.

"Oh yeah? And how was that?" Dean asked, smirking.

Jack's brow's furrowed and his head tilted as he eyed me like he was trying to remember something.

"It was..."

' Please don't say anything that'll get me dead! ' I pleaded silently.

"It was  magical ."

Sam, Dean, and Cas all shared a strange look, but before anything more could be said, the shopkeeper waltzed in from the back room.

Her silver hair was cut short and straight with the ends tucked around her chin. She was a short, thin woman probably in her late forties or early fifties with a not-a-hair-out-of-place sort of attitude. I would bet twenty bucks that her name was Christie spelled with a 'Ch' that she would be sure to remind us of. Click-clacking her way over to us in a pair of atrociously hot pink six-inch heels, the woman regarded us over the tops of her thick, rectangular glasses which hung on a chain around her neck. She flicked her eyes over each person individually in a way that reeked of silent judgment and when her eyes landed on me I was tempted to flip her off. When she was satisfied that she knew everything there was to know about us, the woman fixed a painfully fake smile onto her face and greeted us, speaking slowly like we were uneducated simpletons.

"Well, hi there all! My name's Christie with a 'Ch', you know, like in 'Christmas'? What are your names?"

Called it.

"Hey, Christie. I'm Dean, this is my brother Sam, standing really creepily behind me is Cas, and this one here is his son Jack." Dean pointed as he introduced everyone, sounding annoyed as if this was his tenth time meeting Christie which it probably was. "We're lookin' to get Marty here some warm clothes. Got anything, ah, petite?"

I shot Dean a pointed look to which he just smirked. It wasn't my fault he and his brother were so freakishly tall. In front of us, Christie ignored his request to do business and kept on chatting.

"Sam and Dean Winchester? I remember you, boys. Why didn't you tell me one of you had a daughter as pretty as this little vision? Is she yours, Sam? She looks a bit like you," She cooed, stroking my hair as if that was a socially acceptable thing to do. I almost bit her hand off but smiled instead. Her question caught Sam off guard.

"No, no. Marty's not my daughter," He chuckled nervously, shaking his head.

"Oh! My mistake. Is she yours, Dean?"

"What? No! O'corse not!"

I nearly smacked my face with my palm. Were these guys  trying  to look like kidnappers? Considering their age and the way I was dressed, oh yeah, this totally looked like a kidnapping.

Christie frowned and wrapped an arm around my shoulders, pulling me closer to her side. Jack reached for me but Christie pulled me further away, glaring at him.

"Oh, dear me. I shouldn't be calling the police on you boys now, should I?"

Sam and Dean glanced at each other, trying to come up with some sort of excuse and Christie was already pulling out her phone. A very Isaac-like idea popped into my brain. I rolled my eyes and huffed, pushing away from Christie.

"Ugh! Why do you guys have to be so weird about it? I mean, if you have to dress like child abductors then you could at least  try  not to act like it!" I turned to Christie, shaking my head. "Yeah, sorry about them, ma'am. It's a really long and scandalous story and you probably don't wanna hear the details, but I'm not being kidnapped, I promise."

Christie perked up at the mention of scandal, she was probably just itching for some juicy gossip to spread around at one of her knitting meetings.

"Well, I should probably hear the whole story just to make sure," She said, almost buzzing with excitement.

"Are you sure?" I baited, "It's pretty bad!"

"Oh, you can tell me, hon! I won't tell anybody."

Liar, liar, pants on fire!

"Alright, so long story short, my mom is Cas's aunt and she's a slut who cheated on my dad, who's a straight-up loser. So, he only found out that I'm not his just last week and filed for divorce within two days because he finally has an excuse to get rid of me now. Except, surprise-surprise, my mom never wanted me either because I'm a useless mistake and so they both threw me to child support which Cas here saved me from because he's a decent human being!" I finished my rant of bull crap and inhaled deeply. Christie had bought every word.

"Aw, you poor baby! You get a discount, sweetheart, and if one of your parents ever comes in here I'm gonna wring their neck!" She continued babbling as she led us through the store while Sam, Dean, Cas, and Jack all stared at me like I had eight heads. I smirked at them and shrugged a little.

Five hours and six oversized bags of clothes later and we were out of that store. We crossed the street and collapsed on some benches outside a diner, remaining silent for a while.

"That was worse than Hell!" Dean complained, tugging his boots off and rubbing his sore feet. "If I had to hear that woman talk for one more minute, I might have slit her throat!"

The rest of us made noises of agreement. Well, all except Jack who just shrugged.

"I thought she was nice," He said, though he too looked worn out.

"That wasn't nice, Jack. That was prying," Cas corrected him.

"Yeah," I agreed, "I wasn't sure how much more crap I could spout about your aunt, Cas!"

"Yeah, um, speaking of," Sam cut in, "You had that whole thing pretty handled, Marty. Where'd all that stuff come from anyway?"

"I've been on my own since I was nine, Sam," I lied, lowering my head and picking at my jeans.

"I get that, but-"

" Since I was  nine ,  Sam ." I glanced up to see Sam's mouth form into an 'O' of understanding. I looked away again, quieting my voice. "I know how to make up excuses that people won't question."

"Ah."

"You are  quite  the liar, Martina," Cas spoke up with a tilt of his head. The way his words curled in on one another made it impossible for me to tell whether his statement was one of praise, suspicion, or both. Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed Jack eyeing Cas, his lip curled in a scowl that looked unnatural when displayed by his gentle features.

I didn't look up at the angel sitting in front of me. A tight smile tugged at the corner of my lips as I tapped the pads of my fingers against my knees.

"You don't trust me do you, Castiel?" I asked, trying to keep my voice neutral. Cas sighed and shook his head; I watched Jack's hands clench into fists.

"No. No, I don't," He said, eyeing Jack's reactions as well.

"Why not?" I still didn't look up, feeling the angel's gaze shift to me.

"You lie so easily to others, and you do it very well. What's to stop you from doing the same to us?" For once, Castiel's tone didn't seem accusatory. He sounded truly curious and... understanding almost. His words were something close to gentle.

"Nothing, really," I answered honestly, "For five years, it was just  me . I had Isaac but I still felt  so  alone . I felt so small and scared and  purposeless . All I did was run and hide, it was like I was just waiting to die. So, when you guys offered me protection, I couldn't say no. I couldn't say no, even if I didn't actually need it."

"Didn't need it? What's that supposed to mean?" Dean asked, leaning his elbows on his knees. I shrugged.

"You guys saw a small kid getting attacked in that alleyway and you helped her out. You just made the same mistake that everybody does."

"And what mistake is that?" Cas pressed, squinting curiously.

"Thinking that small means the same thing as helpless," I took a deep breath, shaking my head, "It doesn't, and I'm not. I told you I was clever, you just never stopped to think about what that meant. What you guys don't seem to get is that I survived for  five years . I was just scared that if you knew then you would leave me there alone and I- I just couldn't."

"So, you lied to us?" Sam asked with a frown. I nodded.

"I did. I lied to you and I'm sorry."

"We wouldn't have turned you away, Marty," Jack said, softly grasping my hand.

"I think somewhere deep down I knew that. There were just these things I had to do to survive and I was so scared that if you knew about them, then you wouldn't want me. So, I lied. Because the only thing I could think about was how I just couldn't be alone anymore." I laughed in spite of myself.

Jack nodded solemnly before glancing up and getting distracted by something across the street. His face lit up as he let go of my hand and stood, bounding towards whatever had caught his attention. I didn't bother to watch him.

"Look, Marty," Dean sighed and shook his head a bit, "You seem like a pretty sweet kid and I like you, a lot. Now, I may not know everything about your past, but I know from experience that the only thing that can make up for your mistakes is trying your best to do the right thing now. I wanna trust you, Marty. We all do. But if you keep all these secrets, then we can't do that. So, can you promise us just one thing?"

"Name it."

"No more lies?"

"No more lies," I lied.

"Good." Sam smiled. "So, is there anything else we should know about you?"

There were so many things. None of which I could tell.

"Well, there might be one thing."

"What?"

I opened my mouth to speak but I was cut off by a flower being presented before my eyes. The flower was a rose and the rose was white. It was gorgeous and perfect, there wasn't a single flaw on any of the smooth petals and it was just one step short of full bloom.

There was a hand attached to the rose and I plucked the flower from his fingers, twirling it between my own.

"What's this for?" I asked as I looked up at Jack who beamed down at me the way I remember summer sunshine being like.

"It reminds me of you," He said simply.

"Why?" I chuckled.

"Um, because you said that you pretended to be innocent and helpless because you thought that nobody would want you if they knew otherwise. So, um, I-" He gestured to the rose's thorn-covered stem. "Well, t-this one has spiky-things on it."

"So, it does." I nodded, giggling at his strange explanation. Jack flashed me a grin and continued.

"At first, I thought it was just beautiful, like you, and I didn't see the spiky things until I picked it up. When I touched it, it hurt, but I took it anyway. See, it's still beautiful - even with the spikes - I still wanted it. So, I want you to know that even if you have spikes, I still want you."

Around. There was an ' around ' tagged on the end of that sentence, he just forgot to put it there. Right?

"Thank you, puppy. That was very sweet," I said, catching a glimpse of the flower cart across the street where he must have gotten it. The cart was unattended. In fact, the whole street was oddly empty. It was Christmas time, the street shouldn't have been empty, but it was and that gave me a very bad feeling.

Jack smiled so innocently it made me want to cry.

"You're welcome!"

"You paid for this though, right?"

Jack's face immediately told me the answer. "Is it not for free?"

"Nope, you stole it. You're criminal now," I joked.

"Oh." Jack frowned for a moment. Then he shrugged. "Well, when we grow up, I'll buy you one."

I had the chance to say something witty, so naturally, I replied with:

"Cool."

I mentally slapped myself. Of course, he says something cute and all I say back is ' cool '. My brain hates me.

I felt my cheeks heating up, so I ducked my head down. Deciding that we were in a shaded enough spot, I tugged the light-teal-colored baseball cap off my head. (I had been using it to hide my face from the harsh burning of the sunlight that drifted over the town.) The cap had a manatee sewn on the front and was one of the few things I had brought with me from my past life on the sunny shores of Florida. Laying the hat in my lap, I pulled my thick black braid over my shoulder and proceeded to weave the rose's stem into it loosely. Then, I flipped my hair back and smashed the baseball cap back on my head.

Meanwhile, the angel boy just smiled down at me as if he  hadn't  just said some of the kindest words I'd heard in five years. My cheeks felt like they were on fire and suddenly my shoes were extraordinarily interesting.

My attention was drawn away, however, when out of the corner of my eye, I watched Cas's back go ramrod straight. His head tilted to the side like he was listening for something, his eyes narrowing to one-quarter squint power.

"Cas?" Dean called to his friend. More like  their  friend, really, Sam and Jack were his family too. I guess I couldn't bring myself to call the angel my friend while I was lying to his face about everything I was.

"There are monsters somewhere here, I can sense them," Castiel said quietly. Jack stopped and tilted his head like Cas, focusing.

"I sense them too," He reported, glancing at me, "They're vampires." I sat up a little straighter.

"Put your shoes back on, Dean. You cannot rest while enemies are nearby," I said, smiling wryly and letting an edge of nervousness creep into my voice.

"How many are there?" Dean demanded, already taking charge.

Cas squinted harder. "Seven... Wait, no. There are eight."

"Where? C-can you sense that?" Sam asked.

"No-" Cas shook his head before turning to his surrogate son. "-But Jack can."

Cas sent a small nod to Jack who nodded back and directed his gaze upward, stretching out a hand. His eyes flicked into glistening gold and I could feel my hair stand on end as the air became charged with raw power. For a split second, I almost thought I saw the outline of feathered appendages sprouting from the boy's back. Then, Jack's eyes flickered back into their crystalline blue and I shook the after image away. Whatever I had thought I'd seen was gone before I could register it.

"There are two of them hiding in an alley about thirty yards that way-" He pointed to the left "-and there are five more. They're waiting for an ambush? I think? They're over there. In that really suspicious-looking grey van parked four cars down." He jabbed his thumb over his shoulder and I leaned over to glance at the car. Jack had been right, the van totally looked like it belonged to the mafia or something.

"What about the last one?" Dean pressed, his eyes shifting around to examine his environment. Jack shook his head.

"I-I don't know."

"You don't know?"

"I mean, I can sense it - I know it's here somewhere - but it's cloudy. I can't tell exactly where; it's like it's everywhere and nowhere at the same time."

Jack called the vampire an ' It '. Of course, he did.  It  was a vampire.  It  was a monster. What else does one call a monster? What else does one call  a thing  like that? After all, that's all  it  was; that's all  I  was. A  thing . Not a someone, not a person, not a  friend . A  thing . A  pest , a  nuisance , a  parasite  to be eradicated. Skrew all Jack's kind words and endearing actions; they didn't mean anything! He could never really love me back. It was only a matter of time before he realized that. It was only a matter of time before he started calling me ' It '.

' How long will that be, I wonder .'

I was pulled from my thoughts by a scream. It rang, high and sharp, and it echoed off the brick buildings.

"HELP! HELP ME!" A woman's voice cried.

"Max?" Jack whispered, his eyes going wide. I didn't know who that was and apparently, neither did Dean as he flung his strong arm out in front of Jack who began to sprint towards the sound.

"Who?" Dean demanded. Jack struggled to push past him but Dean wouldn't budge.

"That-that's Max! She's my friend! Those things have her! She needs our help!" He explained impatiently. Dean's face scrunched up.

"Wait, wait. Max? Teenage girl? White hair? 'Bout yea high?" The elder Winchester made a height comparison with his hand and Jack rolled his eyes.

"Yes! Now, come on!" Jack huffed.

"Oh ho! So that's why you're not going for abandonment issues over there?" Dean teased. Letting go of Jack, they started towards the sound of screaming. "Does Jack-Jack have a girlfriend?"

Jack stopped and faced Dean, confusion written across his brow. "Max already has a girlfriend."

"Oh."

The two dorks were brought back to reality when that Max girl screamed again.

"SOMEBODY PLEASE HELP!"

Her voice was followed by another, a boy this time.

"HEY! HEY! HELP! ANYBODY! HELP US!"

"That's Eliot!" Jack took off down the street at a full-on sprint. Dean, Sam, and Cas hot on his heels.

"No, no! Please, go on ahead without me," I muttered, sarcastically, "Save the damsel! I'll just... wait here then."

Huh. Max and Eliot. I felt like those names should be switched around, but then again, I go by Marty, so who am I to judge?

Out of nowhere, I felt a stinging pain in my shoulder. A syringe. I knew the feeling well. Before I could react, the pain suddenly doubled, rapidly spreading all throughout my body like a viral infection.

Dead man's blood.

I whipped my head to the left to meet an all too familiar pair of brown eyes.

"What's bouzzin' gousin?" An accented voice jeered.

Then everything was black.

***

The vampires were taken care of rather easily. Jack felt like a Jedi Knight as he suspended them in the air, stringing them up like the murderers they were. They didn't even struggle. Like convicts dangling from a hangman's noose, the vampires knew as soon as they saw Jack's glowing eyes, that their deaths were nigh at hand. Jack thrust out a hand and caught them in the pulsing rings of his grace, a sound like drum beats underwater reverberating off the alley walls. With a grin, the boy clenched his hand into a fist and the monsters splintered into not but dust.

With the threat eradicated, the glow in Jack's eyes flickered out and he turned to the high-schoolers who he considered his friends.

"Hello, Max! Hello, Eliot! It's alright, you're safe now," He chimed, nodding to each kid in turn and lifting his hand in greeting, though he refrained from actually waving it. Upon seeing him raise his hand, the kids shared a look of sheer terror and backed away. Jack frowned at their reactions, lowering his hand. "No, no! Wait, it's okay. I'm not going to hurt you!"

Max and Eliot paused, trying to determine whether or not they believed him.

Unbeknownst to Jack, Max and Eliot didn't actually like him. ( After finding out about the supernatural, the teens were disappointed when the Winchesters refused to tell them more about spirits and monsters. Enter Jack, and his unfortunate lack of talent in terms of keeping his trap shut. ) Max and Eliot had only hung out with Jack once, and that was exclusive because they knew that he lived with the Winchesters. Against his better judgment, Jack had shown them a glimpse of his powers and though they thought his telekinesis was cool, the teens had agreed not to search the boy out again.

There was just something about Jack that unsettled them, frightened them,  terrified  them. Just like every other human who had seen what Jack could do; deep down, they were all afraid of him. Because he wasn't normal, he wasn't right,  he wasn't human .

"What did you just do to those guys?" Eliot asked, staring with eyes as wide as quarters. Jack thought it would be better not to answer that question.

"It's okay! They were monsters," He reassured.

"He disintegrated them," Cas deadpanned. Dean shot the angel a look. "What?"

"YOU DISINTEGRATED THEM?!" Max screeched loud enough to make Jack flinch.

"Yes?"

"You didn't just, like, proof em' away or something?" Eliot added, a little quieter.

"Um, no. No, I didn't."

"COULD YOU DO THAT TO US?!"

"Most likely, yes," Jack answered, thoughtfully, "I've never tried it on humans, though. But I would never hurt you guys, you're my friends!"

"You're really freaky, dude," Elliot said, shaking his head slowly, "And, like, not in a good way."

"I know." Jack hung his head. They were afraid of him. They hated him. He shouldn't have expected otherwise.

"I'm never gonna be able to un-see that," Max muttered, staring at the cement.

That gave Jack an idea, maybe there was a way to undo this.

"I know you're probably freaking out, but I think I know a way to make it better," He said, trying to sound reassuring.

"Nah, man. I don't want any of your freaky Aquaman powers used on me!" Eliot shook his head.

"No powers." Jack smiled despite how badly their words hurt. "I promise."

His stomach twisted with the lie, but they didn't need to know that. Max and Eliot shared another glance.

"Okay..." They agreed, hesitantly.

"I have a friend. Her name is Marty," Jack explained, leading them back to the bench where his family had left the girl. "She's right here!"

Except she wasn't.

That's when the Nephilim's phone rang.

It was a picture message. Marty sat unconscious tied to a chair in some shack. The text read:

"I really would hate to incur the wrath of the Winchesters, so consider this a ransom note. All you have to do is find her in time. Tick-tock. ~ Felix "

Max peered over Jack's shoulder.

"Hey! I know that place!"

***

"Welcomb back to the land of the livinc' where the livinc' are, in fact, dead!"

Okay, so she knew I was awake. I kept my eyes closed anyway and canvassed my new environment. Having grown up blind, I didn't need my eyes to see.

My hands were bound with zip-ties to the arms of the splintering wooden chair I sat in. The space around me was large but not cavernous as there was no echo. This was a shack of some kind judging by how the metal panels making up the roof clanged against one another in the wind. The shack was also dark to protect vampire skin from the sun, and in winter, no sun meant freezing temperatures. There was a weight covering my lap; someone had given me a blanket. I caught the scent of hay among other less pleasurable farm smells. I could hear the shifting of five pairs of feet surrounding me in a circle. This was going to be fun.

Opening my eyes, at last, I was met with the sight of a young woman around the age of twenty-two, lounging on a few hay bails. She was long, lean, and muscular with a round face displaying a crooked smile. I could see the end of a tie-dyed shirt sticking out beneath the fluffy black coat she wore. Her green and purple hair was chopped short in a punk rocker pixie cut that stuck out in at least five different directions. If I wasn't mistaken, a few of the strands appeared to be scorched on the ends. Her cheekbones were low and prominent and plenty rosy. She had full lips and a button nose that was home to two tiny diamond studs. The woman wore her dark green eyeshadow with plum-colored lipstick unapologetically. Her eyes, which were set deeper than most, turned down at the corners and sparkled with mischief. They were accompanied by thick dark eyebrows, the left of which had apparently gotten a third piercing since I had last seen her.

"Ah hah! So she  is  alive!" She said, her thick Dutch accent coating her words, "I was begininc' to worry that you had follen asleep... Again."

I shrugged despite my restraints.

"Yeah, well I can only sleep-in so long."

"You never were a morninc' person, were you?" The woman sighed, shaking her head. I watched her arrow-head pendant as it swung back and forth from her neck.

"Nope."

"And dat's why we're frien'ds!" She chirped.

"We're not friends, Elwyn." Okay, so maybe that was a bit harsh but it was better than pretending like everything was fine and dandy between us. Elwyn faked a gasp.

"You used my fuoll name! You muss be serious. Why so c'old,  mijn lieve ?" She asked, tilting her head.

"Spending five years as a walking corpse will do that to you," I answered, smiling thinly. "Why are you here, Elwyn? What's this act for? We both know that if I wanted to walk out of here right now, I could do so without a scratch on me. What do you want?"

"You might 'ave been able to woltz out of 'ere if you had a full tanc', dat's true." Elwyn nodded, in agreement. Then she tilted her head and frowned at me with pouty lips. "But you're quite weak now. I'm sorry, hones'ly. I t'ought dat you'd be able to 'andle dat much dead man's blood but you still look pale an' shaiky!"

"Well, I've always been pale," I replied, narrowing my eyes. Elwyn sat up, crossing her legs and putting a fist to her chin. Her brows furrowed and she looked at me with what seemed to be genuine concern for my well-being.

"How lon'g has it been since you fed,  liefste ?" She asked in a gentler tone.

"A little over two weeks," I answered honestly.

"Two weeks?! Nothinc'? Not even somethinc' piffy, like a ra'bbit?"

I shook my head and shrugged.

"Oh,  jij arme ding ! I know you ha'te it, but how could you do dis' du yourself?!" She cried, shaking her head in dismay. I looked away. Deep down I knew that Elwyn really did care about me, albeit in her own strange way. I was being harsh with her and that wasn't exactly fair. She was Felix's prisoner too.

"I more than hate it, Ellie," I said, speaking softer now, "But I just couldn't find a good opportunity. Besides, I can take it."

Elwyn rolled her chocolate-brown eyes.

"No you gan't, Mardina! Look at yourself! You're runninc' on foomes and it shows!" Elwyn huffed, her accident becoming more prominent as her emotion shown through. "Be hones'd wit me, dis is because of dose Win-kesters, isn't it?"

"Not exactly," I said, picking at a splinter on the wooden arm-rest. I knew the real reason and it was a stupid one. I mean, of all the ways to try to be better, starving myself to the breaking point probably wasn't the smartest. But I wanted to be good, pure. I wanted to be human. For him.

"Ah, I see." Elwyn smiled softly. "I was told aboud dat Nephilim boy, the rumors were wrong about him. I was watchinc' you two today; he's not a ragink' monster at all."

"No, he's not." I shook my head.

"He's a  zoet wezen , no?" Elwyn chuckled to herself, "Sorry, I don' know de word for it in English."

I nodded. The closest translation of her Dutch was ' sweet creature '. It fit.

"What's his name?" Elwyn asked without the slightest bit of hostility.

I smiled. "His name is Jack."

" Hou je van hem ?"

"I don't know," I said, shrugging. Elwyn smiled knowingly.

"Yes, you do. And if what I saw was any indication, he feels the same."

"No, he doesn't, Ellie," I sighed and gestured to the child body I was trapped in. "He can't. Just look at me! I'm just a sister to him and if he knew what I really am then he'd hate me!"

"So, dat's what dis is about." Elwyn nodded with understanding.

"What do you mean?"

"You t'ink yourself bad, so you want du be good for him. Dat's why you 'aven't been feeding," She explained, sounding matter-of-fact.

"Yeah, I guess so." I looked away.

"Well, das not good!" Elwyn leaned forward and cut the zip-ties that held me to the chair. Then she reached behind her and fished around a bit until she pulled her arm back and held it out to me, a blood bag resting in her palm. "Have a snack now and your  engel jongen  will never know!"

I glanced at it for a moment but it didn't take much to break my willpower. I snatched the bag from her hand and ripped it open, downing it like there was no tomorrow.

"You gan slow down,  geliefde.  I brough't more." Elwyn chuckled.

"You did?" I asked looking up.

"I had a sneakinc' suspission dat dis was goin'c du 'appen." She shrugged, tossing me another bag which I ripped into also. She reached behind her again, this time tugging around a small cooler full of the stuff which she pushed over to me. "I admire your willpower, Mardina. I don t'ink I'd have de kinda strengt for what you're pullinc'. How'd you do it?"

"Do what?" I asked, halfway through my second bag.

"Live with dose 'unters day in an' day out!" She exclaimed, "Esspecialy dat e ngel jongen ! Da kid smells like garamel chocolate! I envy your gontrol. How'd you stan' so close to him? I was eighty-feet away and I gould 'ardly gontrol myself!"

Well, at least I wasn't the only one.

"I gotta keep up apperences, Ellie. You know all about that." I knew I sounded guarded, but this subject made me uncomfortable.

"But you gould still get a taste. I know you gan make pepole forget t'ings."

I sighed, finishing my second bag and grabbing another.

"You know, Elwyn? You almost got me." I smiled, shaking my head.

"What do you mean?" She asked, feigning obliviousness.

"For a second there, I almost thought you were still my friend."

"I  am  your friend," Elwyn insisted, "I defied Felix for you!"

"Then you ran right back to him the second I turned my back."

"I had too," She spoke, her voice regretful.

"No! No you didn't! You  chose  too. You chose  him  over  me !"

" Hij is mijn vader !  Ik moest !" Elwyn cried. Tears brimmed in her eyes.

"I don't care!" I shouted back, "We were free! We both could have been free! But no, you chose to leave me all alone in the middle of the woods!"

"I knew you'd be fine," She whispered. I shook my head, pressing my lips together.

"No, you didn't," I growled. "Do you have  any idea  how long I wandered for?!"

"You made it out."

"Not in one peace. I lost things in there, Elwyn." I shook my head. "You left me there." Then, I let out a harsh, rasping, laugh and spat my next words. "And for what? To run right back into the arms of the father that never even loved you!"

Elwyn hung her head. " Het spijt me zeer.  I'm so sorry."

"You should be," I said, cooly. "Why do you always run back to him? And don't give me any of that ' he's my father ' bull crap."

"I don know. But what I do know is dat I am still your friend."

"Right." I nodded, smiling through tight lips. "Why are you really here, Elwyn?"

She took a deep breath, wiping away the tears that had slipped down her face, and looked up. "I game 'ere to save you," She said.

"Excuse me?"

"From dose 'unters!" She explained, "Felix told me dat you were with de Win-kesters and I begged him to let me c'ome rescue you. An' he said yes! He's so much kinder den he used to be; he promised dat he wouldn' make you do anyt'ing you didn' want to!"

Elwyn smiled at me and took my hand.

"Oh, yeah?" I scoffed, "Then what was that phone call, huh? What? Is killing my friend supposed to win me over?"

"Hey, I said dat Felix is kinder den he was." Elwyn sighed. "He's still Felix though. He was tryinc' to intimidate de Win-kesters into letting you go."

"I'm not being held hostage!" I insisted.

"But you are still in danger!" Her eyes softened, "Dey will kill you if dey find out what you are."

"I know."

"C'ome with me," She pleaded, "C'ome with me, an' Jack will never find out about you. C'ome with me an' he'll never break your heart."

I paused. Was there really any chance?

No. There was no chance. No chance that Felix could ever change. It was one in a million. There was no chance and  no choice .

"If you're really here to save me, then what's with your little posse?" The five other vampires had been unusually quiet for idiots of their caliber.

Elwyn shrugged. "In case t'ings get messy."

"We'll, then you better plan on things getting messy because I'm not coming with you," I said with a smirk.

"Why not?"

"Because Felix wants me dead, Elwyn, and that's not going to change."

The woman's face fell.

"I know you didn' mean to kill Madra," She whispered, gently. I shook my head and frowned.

"I didn't kill her," I hissed, "Felix killed his soulmate, not me."

"And he sees dat now. He knows dat it wasn' your fault, dat you couldn't gontrol it. He realises dat and he forgives you!" She smiled a little.

"And how many times did he have to beat you before he realized that?"

"C'ome on, Mardina!" She sighed, though I could see the pain her eyes hid. "Dis is an olive branch! Jus' take it!"

I shook my head and I laughed. I laughed long and loud and hard. I laughed like a girl gone mad. I had told Elwyn that I had lost something when she had left me in those woods, I wanted her to know what it was.

"No," I said. Then I stretched my bloody lips into a mad, humorless grin, "I don't want your olive branch."

"Why not? Its your best chance! Don you want peace?"

"Peace?  PEACE?! " I spat, "You know what he did to me, what he made me! You think after every thing he took away, that I would want  peace ? You think after what I did, Felix would offer me peace?"

"I don't want peace," I said, beginning the rhyme I'd heard when I was still alive, "I want war and I want my enemy's head hung like a boar. I didn't come for money and I don't want his crown, see, I've come to burn his kingdom down. So, come one, come all, to take a dance with the dead and stain the petals of the white roses red."

"Mardina, please!"

The other vampires in the room shifted, readying for a fight. But I was faster.

Launching myself from that splintering wooden chair, I threw my body forward towards the stack of haybales Elwyn had previously sat on. I had to jump to avoid the vamp that tried to grab my legs and that pushed me forward a little too much but it wasn't something I couldn't compensate for. Landing on my hands, I shoved my body up, and over the hay bales in a vamp strength enhanced backflip. I landed on my feet and flipped my hair back. The shed's door was in front of me. Sure, it was locked but the lock was only one of those slidey metal bars which are super easy to break and if I was going to fight five vamps at once, it would be wise to keep my back to the door that way I might be able to be thrown through the door and land outside instead of pushed into a dead-end wall. Also, if I was going to fight five vamps at once, I was going to need the proper tool for the job. Beside the door, my eyes landed on a tool rack. I spied my weapon of choice. This was going to be fun .

It was one of those weird four-prong rakes that I'm not completely sure is called a rake. A label on the shaft said it was a soil cultivator but I didn't care what it was called because I was fighting for my life. The four prongs were about five inches long and although the shed wasn't new, the equipment in there thankfully wasn't that old, so the four steel prongs were still wicked sharp.

I ducked, dodging the arms of another vamp before rushing for the tool rack. Another vamp sprang in front of me, blocking my way and I paused. This one had bleach-blond chin-length hair. I knew him. I remembered him from when I was in Felix's cage. This one's name was Boyd and he liked to touch things that didn't belong to him. I couldn't fight back then, but I could now.

"How's it goin', Boyd?"

"So, you remember me, do ya?" He jeered, beginning to circle me like a predator circling its prey. Little did he know, he was not the predator here.

"Oh, I remember you alright. See, Boyd, I'm not a good little girl-" He used to call me that, "- not anymore. I don't do what I'm supposed to. See, when it comes to bastards like you, I don't forgive and I most certainly don't forget."

"Well, I guess its a real shame that I forgot your name, then. You were one of my favorites!" He laughed, "Only thing I remember 'bout you now is how loud you used to scream."

I gave him a cold smile and lunged straight for his legs. Grasping his ankle, I twisted and pulled, sending him crashing to the floor. Then I lifted his leg, rolled over, and slammed my arm down on his knee. There was an ear-splitting snap and he screeched like an animal.

"Who's screaming now, Boyd?" I taunted. I sprung up and stomped down on Boyd's throat, crushing his windpipe. As a vampire, that wouldn't kill him which was good because I wasn't done with him yet. I was going to make him hurt. Why would I want peace when I could have revenge? Revenge felt good.

I rolled away when a red-haired vamp took a swing at my head. I bolted for the four-prong rake and brandished it the way you would a staff. The rake was long, about three inches taller than me, but I easily found the balance point. I spun it around in my hand as I circled the other four vamps.

"Mardina, we gan talk aboud dis!" Elwyn tried, grabbing my arm. I threw my head back and laughed.

"No, Ellie. We can't!" I flipped the rake over, using the blunt end to whack Elwyn upside the head with supernatural strength and speed. She was knocked out. "Stay down. You're not like them and I don't want to kill you."

The red-haired vamp ran at me again and I spun out of the way, flipping the shaft again and swinging it down as he passed me. Two of the prongs buried themselves in the base of the vamp's spine, judging by the position, between two vertebrae. He howled and tried to claw at my arm but I easily avoided him. A female vamp shrieked for her friend and lunged at me from the left.

I rolled my eyes. Pushing on the shaft of my rake I distanced myself from the redhead vamp and ducked away from the female's fangs. I reached out and grabbed her shirt, using it to pull her down towards me. I slammed my head into hers once, then twice to daze her. She stumbled as I let go and switched to grabbing the hair at the base of her neck.

"Night-night, cupcake!" I chirped. Then I slammed her face into my knee and tossed my weight over her shoulder, sliding my arm around her neck. I pulled backward.

That blissful crack was the sound of her neck snapping. Jumping up and using the wall to gain some momentum, I twisted the vamp's head all the way around. It was easy with nothing but tissue and tendons in my way. Her body dangled limp from where I held her by the hair, so I opened my mouth, letting my fangs extend, and I bit her head off.

The redhead vamp with my rake still stuck in him cried out and tried in vain to reach me again. It was pathetic, really. Grinning, I wrenched the rake upward, severing the vamp's spinal cord and pulling the prongs along with two of his vertebrae straight through his back. He fell to the ground, paralyzed from the waist down because two of his bones were missing.

Just as I was about to remove his dreadful cranium from his miserable shoulders, one of the other vamps jumped at me, managing to rake his grotesquely long fingernails along my back. I released no cry of pain as he tore through my skin before grabbing me by my shoulders and hurtling my body at the wall. My face slammed against a pole built into the metal siding as the rest of my body just hit the wall. I landed on the ground with a jarring impact that I was sure had broken a few things. But I couldn't feel the pain. I was too focused on my rage. I was seeing red, and for the first time, I welcomed it without fear.

"Not so tough now are ya?" He called out.

My body was broken and yet I stood. I felt invincible.

"I know I'm not tough," I laughed. I wiped away the blood that was dripping from my mouth and nose, looking up to smile pleasantly at the vamp. "But you wanna know what I am?"

"What?"

"I'm insane, and that tends to make up for the rest."

The vamp charged me but I twisted around and Spartan kicked him into the wall. Then, using a few hay bails to step on, I vaulted into the air and brought the rake down on the vamp's head, piercing through his skull and embedding the prongs in his brain. The spray was a little gross but I didn't care. He deserved it.

"You're next, pumpkin," I called to the last vampire left standing in the room.

I crossed over to him and he managed to block my first two blows but then I smashed the blunt end of the rake into his face a few times and he was unconscious. I heard a groan and turned on my heel.

"And that brings us back to you, Boydie-Boo!" I cheered, stepping on the paralyzed vamp's hand as I passed him. I leaned over Boyd who was still on the ground, gasping for air. "Hello, sweetie. How are we today?"

All Boyd did was gasp and choke, he couldn't speak as his vocal cords had been stepped on.

"Aw! Did you get a boo-boo?" I pouted at him.

Then I grabbed Boyd by the throat at lifted him into the air. He struggled against my grasp but could do nothing. He couldn't even beg.

"What's wrong, sweetheart? Can't you scream for me?"

He shook his head and spat at me. So, I threw him into a wall. Boyd fought to stand, using the wall to stagger upright.

"Come on, Boyd! Fight! Are you going to let yourself be beaten by a girl?!" I taunted him and pulled on the fear that was already constricting his mind. Revenge felt so good.

"You-you're not a girl," He panted, "You're a monster!"

I hummed, tapping my chin with my finger.

"I guess history will have to be the judge of that, now won't it, buddy-Boyd?" I dragged my rake along the ground, though all the blood of his friends. There was a wonderful metallic grating noise as the prongs scrapped across the concrete.

"Please don't! Please! I'll do anything!" It felt good to hear him beg.

"Unfortunately," I continued, "I don't think you'll be around to plead your case!" I hefted the rake.

"No! PLEASE!"

"Bye-bye, Boydie-boo!"

I swung the rake upward with all my might and with a sickening crunch I rammed its prongs up through his jaw. I said I wanted him to suffer. Pulling him by the prongs in his face I brought his screaming form over to the tractor sitting at the back of the room. I rammed the shaft of the rake through two spokes of one of the tractor's wheels. All it took was the flip of a leaver to send the wheels spinning.

Turn, turn, turn and scream, scream, scream, then a nice snap, crackle, pop, and then suddenly, Boyd's head and body were two separate objects. I was very happy. Then, the random vamp I'd knocked out woke up and yanked on my hair, throwing me over his shoulder.

I tried to land on my feet but failed, tripping and stumbling backward. I landed on my back and scrambled to get up. As I did, I noticed the perfect white rose that Jack had given to me had fallen out of my hair. It lay on the ground in a pool of blood. Jack said it reminded him of me, of the way he saw me. Well, it wasn't innocent or perfect anymore. But neither was I, so I think it matched me better now.

The vamp rushed me and tackled me to the ground, pinning my arms to my sides as he snapped at me with his fangs out.

Bang... Bang!... CRASH!

The door burst open and light from the setting sun poured in, falling directly on the last vamp's face. He cried out and tried to scamper away, like a rat from a cat.

"It's about time! You guys are late to the party!" I shouted.

"Yeah, sorry!" Dean said from the doorway, "Who would've thought there were so many old sheds in this town!"

I didn't get a chance to reply.

I felt the air prickle and spark, charging with a tambour of power that I recognized but had yet to experience to this degree. I turned my head in time to see Jack, eyes glowing gold, passing by Dean with his hand outstretched. Golden waves of energy shot from his being with a sound like drumbeats from the depths of the sea. The waves caught the fleeing vampire and time around him slowed to a crawl. He was lifted into the air and revolved to face his reckoning. The Nephilim's lips tugged into a cruel grin as he saw the fear in the vampire's eyes.

Suddenly, the pulses of energy stopped and the vampire was flung towards Jack, landing face-first in the dirt at the boy angel's feet. Jack knelt down, his expression seeming to consider the trembling, pathetic thing in front of him.

"P-please!" The monster managed to choke out. "Mercy!"

Jack looked up at me, his eyes soaking in my bloodied face. Apparently, that was all it took. Jack's eyes hardened and he turned back to the vamp.

"You. Hurt. My. Friend."

Jack grabbed the vampire's head in his hands and started to squeeze. The vamp screamed as the pressure increased until his skull just couldn't take it anymore. There was a crunch and a wet sucking noise as the vamp's head collapsed in on itself. I liked that sound.

"That dude's still alive," I said, casually jabbing my thumb at the red-haired vamp I had paralyzed. Jack turned to where I had pointed, ready to squeeze another brain out of its shell.

"Jack!" Cas called from behind him. "No!"

The Nephilim scowled at Castiel and I admired the rage I saw in his eyes. This wasn't my Jack but I liked this version just as much. No, Jack wasn't human, was he? He was more like me than I'd thought. Jack snapped his fingers and the red-haired vamp crumbled into dust. The sight was actually sort of pretty.

When Jack turned to look at me his eyes were completely soft and full of concern. There was my Jack.

"Are you afraid of me now?" He asked in a whisper.

"No," I replied flatly, shrugging my shoulders, "Why would I be?"

"I killed them." Jack hung his head. "Right in front of you."

"Am I supposed to care?" I smirked, hoping my voice didn't sound as harsh as I thought it did. I was just barely beginning to come off my rage-induced high. Jack eyed me with confusion and relief.

"You're hurt," He observed, moving over to me.

"Me? Nah! This is nothing." I gestured at the bodies scattered around the shed. "You should see the other guys!"

"Stay still." Jack placed his soft, gentle, hands on my face to examine my injuries and I felt a warm tingling as he healed them. "There. I fixed you." He whispered. It was more to himself than anything but I still heard it. It made me laugh on the inside.

Yeah, no. Nothing could fix me. I was broken beyond repair. It was my insanity that held me together. Does that sound like the sort of thing that can be fixed?

"Thanks, Jack-Jack!" I chirped, smiling brightly at him.

"You're welcome, Marty," He said quietly. Jack's eyes flicked down, focusing on my lips like he wanted something but wasn't sure how to ask.

"Um, M-Marty?" Sam's voice broke whatever spell the two of us had been under and I glanced over to him.

"Yeah?"

"Did you, uh," Sam pointed to the carnage surrounding us, watching me with weary eyes. "Did you do this?"

I shrugged, jabbing my thumb over my shoulder at the tractor. "Yeah, mostly. But the tractor helped."

"I'm guessing the tractor did that?" Dean pointed to Boyd's head with its jaw still run through with the prongs of the rake. I walked calmly over to the severed head, grasping it by the hair and pulling it off the prongs before returning with it back to the boys. Sam, Dean, and Cas all stared at me with eyes as wide as quarters as held up the head.

"Dean, this is Boyd," I said, keeping my tone as sweet as possible.

"Huh."

"Say hi to Boyd."

"Uh...Hey, Boyd..."

"Good." I grinned as if I was holding a puppy instead of a severed head. "Now let me tell you about Boyd. Boyd liked touching things that didn't belong to him. He worked for Felix and Felix liked hearing little girls scream and cry. So did Boyd. Boyd was very good at making little girls scream and cry, little girls like me. Weren't you Boyd?" I asked the mutilated cranium in my hand. I moved the severed head up and down in an enthusiastic nod, holding it by the hair as if it was a marionet.

"You were very good, yes you were!" I cheered. Then, like the flip of coin, I snapped my focus back to the Winchesters, wiping my face and tone clean of all emotion.

"So, I used a tractor to rip his head off because he deserved it and now he won't ever make another little girl cry ever again. Right, Boyd?" I asked the severed head. I grabbed the head's bloody, splintered jaw and clacked it's teeth together like you would a ventriloquist dummy. "You bet your britches!" I made the head answer, mimicking Boyd's voice.

"D-did he-" Sam stuttered. I flicked my gaze back to him, allowing all three to see the harshness in my eyes.

"Whatever you're thinking, the answer is probably yes."

"Marty?"

I turned to Dean. "What?"

"Put the head down."

I dropped Boyd's severed head.

"Come here." The hunter opened his arms and I faked a sob before accepting the hug. "You weren't gonna tell us about that, were you?" I shook my head. "It's okay, sweetheart. You're safe now."

"Thank you for not throwing me away, Dean," I said softly. The elder Winchester chuckled.

"Don't thank me, Marty. After all, how could we throw away someone so Bad-Ass?"

"Am I awesome now?" I asked.

"You were always awesome."

I laughed and the Winchesters trusted me more than ever. Their mistake.

"Dean, that one's moving," Castiel called our attention over to Elwyn, who was just waking up.

Jack was quick to react, sending a golden blast of power to throw her against the wall where he kept her pinned.

"Wait! Wait!" She cried, "I didn' 'urt Mardina! I swear!"

"Do you work for Felix?" Dean interrogated, pushing me behind him.

"He's my fah'der but I'm not like him! I want du 'elp her! I jus a messenger!"

"Whaddia say, Sammy? Should we shoot the messenger?" Dean asked, keeping his cold eyes on Elwyn.

"No! Please!" Elwyn begged, tears slipping down her face. "I didn' 'urt her!"

"You know, if we shoot the messenger, Dean, it sends one Hell of a message." Like his brother, Sam could turn on the killer inside him like a switch.

"Felix is in Floree'ida, okay? Dat's all I know, I swear!" And it was all she knew because Elwyn had never had a backbone. There was no strength in her.

"Guess its up to you, Marty," Dean said, turning to me. Elwyn looked at me with wide pleading eyes. I regarded her with ice in my own. No second chances. Monsters don't get second chances, I know I never did. I knew I never would.

"I'm your friend, Mardina! Tell dem I'm your friend!" She pleaded. I shook my head.

"You only cared about me when Felix wasn't looking." I was almost shocked by how apathetic and passionless my voice sounded. I watched her without compassion. "You were never my friend."

"No!" Elwyn screeched, "No! I 'elped you! I 'elped you when dey beat you!"

"But you never tried to stop them."

"What?! No!" She sobbed. I smiled at her slightly.

"Go tell Madra I'm sorry."

I sent Jack a nod and with a snap of his fingers, Elwyn was nothing more than flecks of grey drifting to the ground.

Turning around with a sigh, I could feel the eyes of the four others as I bent down and scooped up the rose Jack had given me. I cradled the precious flower in my hands, watching as the blood dripped from its petals in big heavy gobs. It had been perfect once. It wasn't perfect anymore. It would never be perfect again. Or perhaps it could be, just not the right way. Because the blood was oddly beautiful with the way it stained the petals and pooled in the center of the rose.

"I can get you another one," Jack spoke up, "And I'll pay for it this time!"

I turned back to him, smiling down at my little rose.

"No, its okay, Jack. It's a crooked kind of perfect. I think I like it better now."

~All the pretty girls, they find

A way to keep you on my mind

I swear I heard you singing along

Cities pass like candy stores

And you're the one

I'm looking for

And so

I'm just a boy

Who's telling a girl

That when I grow up I'll buy you a rose

When I grow up, I'll buy you a rose~

Lyrics from: Buy You A Rose by AJR

(Author's Note: You may or may not have figured it out by now, but Martina Imogene Linville is insane. MARTY IS NOT THE HERO OF THIS STORY. SHE IS NOT A GOOD PERSON. Marty also had Borderline Personality Disorder before she went insane. So, even at her most stable points in this story, she is not to be trusted. Remember, she manipulates peoples emotions. She makes them feel what she wants them to feel. Any other character's actions may or may not actually be their own. Please keep this in mind going forward.)

#jack kline x oc #jack kline #jack kline fanfiction #jack kline x reader #spn #spn fanfiction #superntural #supernatural fanfiction #dean winchester #sam winchester #castiel #alexander calvert #alex calvert #jensen ackles #jared padalecki #jack is baby #the writing gets better #jack kline humor #jack kline fluff #fluff #my name is cas and i write stuff #fanfic #thanks for reading #have a nice day #misha collins #16 and up #16+

[asexual-means-no-attraction]

I apologise if that is rude or insensitive. Does it happen to you to feel hopeless, as in, no matter what you do, it's not going to really change anything or help the amount of pain in the world?

This ask would be better for my @penny4yathoughts blog for the future. I try to keep this one more lgbt related. But sometimes ya, overall no.

Large scale change takes time. It's a slow process that isn't easy and is gonna feel like you're not doing anything. Sometimes it's easy to feel like you haven't done anything impactful. One person can't change the world after all.

But in the end, my goal isn't to change the world. It's to try and make the world around me better. That could just mean making my room more enjoyable, that could be making my friend smile, it could be giving my grandmother a surprise visit, it could be helping a stranger, I can slowly help someone realize something important. It can be small. And it makes an impact.

Don't discount small things. It's not your job to change the entire world. It's not your duty as a human being to fix everything that's gone wrong. Sometimes you just gotta focus on the small things you can do. The small things that'll make your personal world better.

If you're able to help others, then do it. If you're able to make a large scale impact and go to something grand, then do it. But if you can't (for any reason at all-- big or small) it's ok. Do what you can, when you can. If you can't right now, that's ok. It doesn't make you a bad person. And it doesn't mean the world is doomed.

Now! Things I do to help myself not feel hopeful about the grand scheme of things:

-I look up history about 1st hand accounts from the past. I look at how people were treated, how they acted. And while I know we're not perfect and have a long way to go, I can see the progress we have made. And it shows that even the small stuff we do now can add up and make a larger difference. Even if we can't see it yet.

-I talk to someone about how I'm feeling.

-Sometimes you gotta let yourself feel sad for a bit before you can move on.

-Documentaries can be helpful. They usually end on positive notes showing all the improvements we have made.

-remind yourself that there will always be stupid people. There will always be people who do dumb or bad things. They haven't stopped us from making progress, we've continued to move forward, and we'll continue to regardless of the obstacles they put in place.

All of that said. I'm from the USA and have an accepting and fairly open minded family so the kinda feelings I get and how I cope with them won't line up with everyone. Hope it helps tho.

#ask #answered #not discourse