#and i think that if you lined up the side characters whose pov i prefer you would probably find that

[viscountessevie]

CC Related Asks Compliation

I have been stressing over answering these perfectly so as not to ruffle any feathers but honestly there is no perfect way to answer it because it will set either side off any way I go about it. So Imma just lay it all on the line here and let these asks have a convo with each other. 

These asks defending CC have been sitting in my ask box a long time because they came in droves and some deleted now were very hateful towards me and it just turned me off her and her fans even more. That being said, I have rectified my previous statement saying that she fundamentally misunderstood Edwina when I meant Bookwina - I guess she understood Showina who I personally don’t understand at all and dislike from Ep 4 to 7 so whatever who cares about my opinion. 

I was going to link the post that started it all but unfortunately because these were sent a while ago, I couldn’t find it. For context: I reblogged a post/discussion ask that talked critically about Edwina and CC and in the tags I agreed with it and then because at the time I had been frustrated with how CC had seemed to be blindly agreeing with CVD’s takes on Edwina’s character - not attending the wedding and their relationship not being the same again (which I agree it will be different but it’s implied it will never be properly fixed when I want the girls to come out of it stronger??) and so I said something along the lines of “CC fundamentally doesn’t understand Edwina” 

This ask below is a follow up to one of the above asks but I’m not sure whose (feel free to clarify in another ask!) and was a reply to the tags in this post: 

[I should worded it better but I didn’t mean you guys were being annoying its just the insane amount of hate and critical asks that came at me the moment I said a throwaway line in the tags of a Eddie post - and it was so insignificant I can’t even find the post in my archive anymore sigh - that I didn’t even think twice about.]

Also I did reply in a sense and I don’t even have the energy to defend myself so this is what I’m sticking to. 

All this to say, now I do understand where the two of you are coming from and I should have worded that better. I definitely disagree with CC’s Bridgerton takes and would like to never hear them again. I do adore her this is just one aspect of her I would like to ignore moving forward and just be hyped for her future projects. I wasn’t even insulting her or her intelligence and what I meant was she doesn’t understand Bookwina not like I do because I actually read the book and she has confessed to not reading/finishing the book and prefers her interpretation of the character. So you do you girl I don’t have to agree with it. 

I will agree that sometimes there are mutuals and posts that use really combative language towards Edwina and sometimes CC that does help fuel the racist hate in the fandom and gives leeway to racists to criticise Edwina and CC in a racially charged manner. However, I don’t think my comment was that extreme so to have all of you in my asks (there was more than these three that were just really hateful and I deleted cos I didn’t want to deal with that shit) just drained me and ngl I know you aren’t trying to be mean or annoying but some of yall (not saying these asks in particular but CC defenders who treat her like a complete saint) can be really condescending. Just something to think about. 

All this being said, thank you for sending in these asks I do appreciate your POVs. 

Now onto the other side of the argument. So I appreciate this anon for laying it all out in a thorough manner while not using names against CC, I got a similar ask that was basically a TDLR but I’m deleting it as it called CC mean names and I do not condone that on this blog. Yes I may disagree with CC’s Bridgerton Takes but I will not stand for calling her names or being mean. We will not give the racists of the fandom ammunition to attack her even more. 

Honestly my TDLR take is that the way the whole of S2′s press tour was weird as hell. I know they were trying to sell the love triangle but the trio interview felt third-wheeling at times and that’s not any of the three’s fault. Jimone just happened to be closer and I got the vibe that CC and Simone while friends and friendly, aren’t as close to each other as they are with Jonny (Simone and Chari seperately), Golda and NC (Chari). 

Everything you stated was certainly odd but I’ve been avoiding trying to comment on them on here because I don’t really want to add to the scrutiny of watching a WoC’s every move waiting for them to be ‘out of line’ in the GA’s opinions. I think CC’s entitled to act however she wants she’s the one in the role after all but I also think as fans we are allowed our opinions and to be able to disagree with Chari’s takes (and mostly CVD and the writers’ because its their fault the show and characters of S2 ended up like this). I’m only posting these because my blog is a safe space for our little Kathony/S2 bubble and I do appreciate all of your thoughts as long as you’re being respectful when you send them. 

Last and my latest one from Jett 🖤 my beloved, good morning and thank you for your ask: 

I do not want to rehash Postergate 2.0 so everything that needs to be said is here. But also again: Tessa Dare stop embarrassing yourself challenge!! You’re an author with a public platform for Christ sake stop acting like an unhinged stan on main and get an anon account or something Jesus. 

Anyways this is my last discussion post on CC, if I do post anything about her it will most likely be Edwina gifsets or CC’s pictures (actually there is one more about Dior but it’s not a discourse ask so I’ll post it separately!). 

I genuinely do not want anymore Charithra discourse on my blog simply because I do not want to contribute to being over critical or seem like I’m encouraging the hate because this blog is a safe space for all Desi fans of the show, I want to uplift all the brown women on the show Edwina and CC included and honestly I do not have the energy to answer them meaningfully without stressing out. And what’s the point of engaging if I don’t enjoy it you know?

[All future asks about her will be deleted but if you really need to get it out, do come off anon so I can reply privately or my DMs are always open, please don’t be shy to come in and have a conversation.]

#CC Critical #Edwina Sharma Critical #Bridgerton Discourse #Jett 🖤 Anon #Sunny 🤩 Anon #Sanji Answers

[sjsmith56]

The Blonde and the Brunette - Part 5, From There to Here - Bucky Barnes One Shots

Summary: Takes place during Captain America: First Avenger. Bucky sets his sights on Peggy Carter and interferes with Steve’s relationship with her. Recounts the train mission.

Length: 4770 words

Characters: Bucky Barnes, Steve Rogers, Peggy Carter, Private Lorraine, Howard Stark, assorted members of the Howling Commandoes.

Warnings: Bucky blocking Steve, the story starts out lighthearted but ends with Bucky’s fall.

Author notes: Alternating POVs between Bucky and Steve.

<<Part 4

💠💠💠

Bucky

I knew as soon as I saw her greeting Steve after we walked into the camp like we owned the place that my next girlfriend was standing right in front of me.  She was beautiful, with long dark hair that I wanted to bury my face in, while I was kissing her neck, and undoing her dress, of course.  Along with dark eyes and ruby red lips she was a dream come true.  Then she opened her mouth and the voice, with its British accent, was like silk and I longed to hear it say my name.  Whether it was said as a greeting or in the throes of passion didn't matter to me ... I just wanted to hear her say it.

There was just one small problem.  For some reason, she preferred Steve.  Don't get me wrong, I loved the guy.  Hell, I'd been his protector since he was twelve years old but when he showed up at that factory and found me strapped to that bed mumbling my name, rank, and serial number, I couldn't believe it was him.  How did he gain over 100 pounds of muscle and grow a foot in height in a matter of months?

He said something about an experiment then turned red and realized he probably shouldn't say anything about what was obviously a classified subject.  But I was his best friend, Bucky, and if he couldn't unload his secrets to me then who could he tell?  Whatever they did to him was something.  When he jumped from the other side of that factory to where I was waiting it was like watching a fucking god in action.  I'm getting sidetracked here.

My immediate dilemma was how I could get the lovely Agent Carter to focus her attention on someone worthy of her beauty, namely me.  After we got back to London, shown our quarters, and the quartermaster gave us new uniforms I showered, shaved real nice and close, styled my hair with just a touch of Brylcreem, then went to the pub with the others that had been captives with me, Dugan, Jones, Morita, Falsworth, and Dernier.  It was a bit loud for me where the others were situated so I sat in the quieter snug, nursing my scotch.  Steve talked those suckers into joining his new unit then came in to give me the sales pitch.  As if he had to ask.  I was in ... I just wanted him to sweat a bit. 

Then Peggy Carter walked in wearing this red dress that hugged all the right spots and showed just enough décolletage (it's French for bosom, I think) to make me imagine what the rest of her looked like underneath the dress.  She glanced at me when she came into the snug and walked right up to Steve talking about some equipment that Howard had for him.  She must have meant Howard Stark, yeah ... that Howard Stark whose flying car hit the ground at the Stark Expo in June, the night before I shipped out.  That was the night Connie and Bonnie ... damn, I'm getting sidetracked again.  Thinking of dames will do that to a guy.

Anyways, as I was saying, I was playing it cool and giving Steve some side eye, trying to give him the signal that I got this one but damned if he doesn't check her out, just like all the times I tried to teach him back in Brooklyn.  She looks back at the other guys in the main part of the pub, sitting next to the piano player referring to them as the top team, whatever that was about.

I asked her something along the lines of  "You have a problem with the music?"

She answered that she liked the music just fine, but she's still looking at Steve.  Then she started talking about dancing, still looking at him and ignoring me.  I couldn't believe it!  So, I asked what we're waiting for, giving her my best "I want you" look.  Always worked before.  Without missing a beat, she said, "the right partner" and was still giving Steve her "I want you" look.  It was humiliating.  Finally, she told him what time he needed to meet with Stark and walked out of there like the Queen of England.  Class, pure class, but none of it aimed at me.  I was invisible to her.  In fact, I told Steve I was turning into him, the old him, the 98-pound weakling him.  He just stood there with that smirk on his face.  I taught him too well.  Who knew he was listening all those years, storing up all of my best moves and looks, until the day he used them against me.  Then he had the nerve to comfort me, patting me on the shoulder, saying maybe Carter had a friend for me ... all the things I used to say to him back in Brooklyn.  I'm a hell of a teacher and I needed a plan.

After having a drink with me Steve said he was going to turn in and he headed towards the door.  A luscious blonde walked in, gave him the eye, which he ignored and she shrugged then saw me watching.  With a grin and a walk that said lots she strutted right up to me.

"Buy me a drink, Sarge?" she said, giving me the once over.

I was game.  I hadn't won the attentions of the lovely Agent Carter yet, so I was still free to see other women.  Her name was Lorraine, a private, and she was the secretary for Colonel Chester Phillips.  Steve was supposed to be meeting with Stark in Phillips' office the next morning.  I ordered her a drink then we raised a toast to the brave Captain America where I casually dropped the information that we had been friends since we were boys.  Her eyes brightened.

"Does he have a girlfriend?" she asked eagerly.

Nope.

"Does he want a girlfriend?"

Oh yeah, absolutely.  Didn't tell her at first it was Agent Carter but what she didn't know wouldn't hurt her.

"So, how do I approach him?"

I smiled then took another drink of my scotch. 

"Well, sweetheart," I said, reaching out and grasping one of her curls gently so I could play with it.  "I could tell you or I could show you what he likes.  He does like to play shy and let the girl do the talking but sometimes he really plays the part of the innocent to find out if the girl is really interested.  You have to be prepared to take it to the limit."

A slow smile crossed her face.  "Why are you so interested in helping me?" she asked coyly.

"Well, I have my eye on a certain lady who seems to be your biggest competition," I replied.  "Personally, if I was Steve, I wouldn't even look at her with a doll like you around.  So, by me helping you in how to approach him, you'd be helping me attain the lady I want."

She hummed like she was really contemplating my offer but when she drank her gin and tonic, she gave me the eye that said she was more than game to practice on me before taking on her main target the following morning.  We both finished our drinks and headed out of the pub, checked in at the base then she found a supply room and took a key out of her purse, dangling it in front of me.  She unlocked the door, we went inside, and I told her what to say, showed her what to do, and heard her call out my name in a way that helped me out as well.  I'm a gentleman so I won't say anything else but if it doesn't work out with Peggy Carter then I'll be back to make sweet Lorraine sing out my name again.  I know, I'm an ace in the art of seduction.

Steve

I reported to Colonel Phillips secretary just before 08:00, asking to see Howard Stark.  She was reading a newspaper and I noticed the headline was about the soldiers I helped liberate from the HYDRA factory.  Without looking up she said Stark was meeting with the Colonel then she looked at me and did a quick double take.  Right away she became as sweet as pie and invited me to sit near her.  Then she showed me the headline and I nodded in recognition, still uncomfortable with how they were making me out to be the big hero.  I just did my duty.  That's how I saw it.  She sat there, at her desk, with her legs crossed, casually bouncing her one foot.  She had nice legs, that was for sure.  Then she stood up and said something about the wives of the prisoners being happy about their husband's rescue.  Approaching me in a sultry way, I started feeling a little funny; warm, kind of, and my mouth got a little dry.  I crossed my arms and tried not to look directly at her.  At that moment I kind of wished Bucky was there.  He would know what to do and what to say.  I was definitely in over my head.  Then she said I was a hero, grabbed my tie and said the women of America owed me their thanks.  At least, I think that's what she said.  It all happened so fast, and my heart was beating so loudly in my ears that I barely heard anything, to be honest.  Then she pulled me behind the shelving unit and the next thing I knew her lips were on mine, followed by her tongue.  It was ... really nice, but holy shit, I wasn't sure what to do next.  Do I put my tongue in her mouth?  Do I hold her?  Do I press her against the filing cabinet and unbutton her blouse?  We were in Colonel Phillips' outer office for crying out loud!

"Captain!" said a voice, Peggy Carter's voice, and I jumped. 

So did ... what was her name?  I was kissing a girl and I didn't even know her name. 

"If you're not otherwise occupied, we're ready for you," said Carter, and with a sinking heart I could hear the disappointment in her voice.

I tried to catch up with her to explain that the girl was kissing me instead of me kissing her but Carter didn't want to hear it, saying it was obvious I had found a partner.  As we walked she looked sideways at me, at my tie and I tucked it back inside my jacket.  I might as well have been tucking my ... you know ... back into my pants.  It was awful.  I felt like a cad.  Then Peggy, Agent Carter, said I was just like all the other soldiers and I saw red.  I was angry and asked about her and Howard Stark.  I mean, I heard how he talked to her.  It was obvious something was going on between them and she was judging me after one kiss, that I didn't even ask for.  The look she gave me and the words she said made me feel like I was six inches high.  Howard heard what she said and patted me on the back after she stomped off. 

"We haven't done anything," he said.  "Not for lack of trying on my part, believe me.  Do yourself a favour.  Don't ever assume you know anything about women because if even I have trouble with winning the affections of Agent Carter, you have even less chance."

He showed me a uniform made out of material that would deflect a bayonet.  Then he patted my shield from the USO show that came in handy when I freed the prisoners and showed me some samples of a shield I could use for real in battle.  I saw a round one under the table and although he tried to downplay using it, once I put my hand in the harness it felt right, like it was meant for me.  At that moment Agent Carter came into the lab and asked Stark if we were done.  I showed her the shield, anxious to try and get back in her good graces.  Damned if she didn't pick up a pistol and shoot at the shield sending bullets ricocheting everywhere!  Then she gave me a look that said she was still angry at me but there was something more with it and I realized that it was like the times Bucky's parents were having a disagreement and even though you could tell they were both angry there was another look that Bucky said was their "Just wait until I get you alone look."  He never explained to me what he meant by that, but I think that was the look that Peggy Carter gave me, and it made me feel warmer than the kiss that secretary gave me; a warmth that I felt deep inside me.

Bucky

When Steve asked me about the look my parents would give each other when they were working their way through being mad at each other I knew the competition was over.  If Peggy Carter was that angry at catching Lorraine kissing Steve, she liked him a lot more than I figured.  The guy sat on my bunk looking miserable and I felt guilty about turning Lorraine loose on him.  Sitting across from him I leaned over and cleared my throat.

"I'm sorry," I said.  "I wanted a clear path to Agent Carter and I thought if I could get you involved with someone else then I could ...."

He looked up and the betrayal on his face was almost more than I could bear.

"You?  You were in love with Peggy?" he asked.

"No, but I would have liked a chance to make her fall in love with me," I said.  "Six months ago she wouldn't have given you the time of day and then you show up looking like this."  I waved my hands at his physique.  "What chance did I have?"

"Bucky, she was there when I was transformed," he said.  "She rode in the car with me to the lab.  She was at Camp Lehigh when I was in basic training and she always talked to me, always made time for me."

"She was?" I asked, flabbergasted.  "Shit, buddy, I'm so sorry.  I didn't know."  Now I felt worse, mostly because it was Steve I tried to block.  "When you showed up looking like this, I just assumed she was like all the other women on this base who were panting for you.  But if she was your friend back in New York, then she liked you for you."

Steve didn't say anything for the longest time and I was worried I had poisoned my friendship with him.  But Steve never did stay angry for long and he finally looked up at me.

"You were jealous of my looks?  You, Bucky Barnes, ladies man, scourge of fathers all throughout Brooklyn?"

He began to laugh, reaching forward and clapped me on the shoulder.  Then he gripped it hard and looked at me with a determined look.

"I'll give you a pass on it this time but do it again and we'll have more than words."

"Hey, I'm out," I replied, showing him my empty hands.  "I won't stand in your way.  She's worth it.  She's no dame, she's a lady."

Steve smiled and relaxed his grip.  Then he looked at me.  "Explain it to me what it means when a couple are angry at each other but they give each other a look that says they're still angry but they're not?"

"You punk," I said.  "It means that the makeup sex is going to be fantastic.  You missed out on so much not having your dad around.  You do know what to do with a girl when you get her into bed, right?"  He didn't answer.  "Jesus, Steve, you don't know?"

"It's not like my mother could explain it in detail," he replied, his face a dark shade of pink.  "Everything I do know I've learned from you and even you haven't been all that forthcoming about the actual deed.  I mean, you have your own code when it comes to discussing your girlfriends, which I admire, by the way."

I smiled.  It was true I didn't brag about the girls I was with.  There were guys that did, and I saw how it affected the girls who they talked about.  With a sister of my own if I heard a guy talking about her like that, I would kick his ass.  Going to my footlocker I dug down to the bottom and pulled out a bottle of scotch.

"I could put you on report for that," said Steve.

"But you won't," I replied.  "Because I'm your friend and I'm going to tell you how to make a woman happy in bed.  It's a lot more fun if she's enjoying it along with you.  Too many guys just want to get their own pleasure and forget that she needs to get something out of it as well."

I poured out a glass for each of us and for the next half hour told him everything I knew.  There were even times I demonstrated with my hands or drew a picture for him, as bad as my drawings were.  He sat there, asked more than a few questions, and took everything I said to heart.  In a way, it was graduation for him, and I was happy to help him.  For too many years he had been ignored and passed over by all the girls we grew up with which was wrong because he would have worshipped the ground they walked on and would have treated any of them right.  If anyone deserved to have my knowledge passed on to them, it was Steve.

For the next couple of weeks, we were busy training, learning to work as a team.  It was exhausting and no one went out to the pub after because all we had energy for was to go into the mess hall, eat our meals and then crawl into bed, hoping to get enough sleep so we could do the same thing the next day.  It was worth it because when we had our first mission as a team it was like we knew exactly what everyone else was doing.  I had my sniper perch covering everyone's back and kept my sniper rifle busy enough that the others could get the job done.  That doesn't mean I wasn't in on the attacks.  There were times I was right there beside Steve and the others, machine guns blazing as we kicked in doors and took the fight to HYDRA.  It was exciting times and I felt we were making headway against those Nazi villains.

Steve

It was great having Bucky on the team.  All those years as kids when we pretended we were in the Great War came back to me when we did it for real.  Half the time Bucky was the unit sniper, taking out threats before we attacked our objective.  Then he would trade his sniper rifle for a machine gun and join the rest of the Howling Commandos in infiltrating our target.  It was heady times, and the Army were so impressed that they assigned a photographer to the unit. 

"For posterity," they said. 

Yeah, so we could make Colonel Phillips's bosses look good.  He didn't care about the publicity, just the results and we got them.  On one of our returns to base he pulled the team into a Quonset hut, set guards on the outside and looked at all of us like the next mission was the most important one yet.

"There's a train," he said.  "It regularly makes the trip between the HYDRA bases carrying supplies and soldiers.  It's powered by the Tesseract, which is one of our targets.  Our second target is the man in control of that train.  Dr. Arnim Zola."

The projector put an image up on the wall and all of us gasped.  He was the little man with Johann Schmidt in the HYDRA factory in Kreischberg.  I looked at Bucky and could see his eyes were narrowed, full of anger.  He never spoke about what they did to him in the HYDRA lab in Austrian factory but it couldn't have been good.  Right then I knew he wanted to be by my side on this mission, no matter what. 

We had a week to train just for this mission.  Three of us had to get on that train then find the Tesseract and Dr. Zola.  Only three could go because we only had time for three to ride a cable line across the ravine and drop onto the top of the train while it sped along the track.  There was only one place to set up the cable line that wouldn't smack us into the mountainside.  Partisans were setting up that line as we trained.  With us in control of the train we would bring it to a pre-arranged stop where we take the Tesseract, the doctor, then blow the train and track up.  As leader I was going.  Before I even had a chance to ask for volunteers Bucky said he was in.

"Buck, you don't like heights and it's several hundred feet up the side of a narrow ravine," I told him.

"I want in," he said through gritted teeth.  "I want payback for what that asshole put me through."

So, Bucky was in.  We just needed a third person.  I asked for volunteers, but everyone put up their hand.  Guess they all wanted payback against that doctor as well.  So, we put names in a hat and Private Gabe Jones was the lucky third.  The three of us practiced on a cable line at the base until we got the timing down just right.  Word came from the partisans that the train was leaving from one of the far bases.  If it followed the pattern of stops it had previously it should be going through where the cable line was rigged in two days.  The whole team headed out and two days later we were there.  Gabe was monitoring the radio to hear from the source when the train was on its way.  Bucky took a look from our vantage point at where we would drop and asked if this was payback for the time he made me ride the Cyclone at Coney Island.  He never did like heights but then I didn't like throwing up all over myself either.  Our unit photographer chose that moment to take a picture of the two of us.

At that point Gabe spoke as he listened to the German voices on the radio.  "You're right, that Dr. Zola is on the train.  They're moving at top speed and will be here pretty quick."

I put my helmet on and grabbed the handle on the cable line, waiting for the word.  It wasn't long in coming.  Falsworth was watching through binoculars further up the line for the train as it came into his view.  He turned and looked at us three with some concern.

"It's moving pretty fast."

I estimated we had about a ten second window to get all three of us on that train.  Gripping that handle hard I waited for Dernier to give me the signal then I jumped off and slid down that cable like a bat out of hell.  I felt the line bounce twice behind me and knew Bucky and Gabe were holding on for dear life.  Just like we practiced the cable was strung out over the length of the train and we dropped down onto the top of it.  Carefully stepping along the length we got to where there was a doorway while Gabe covered our backs.  He would keep moving towards the front of the train, to stop the engineer.  Bucky and I were going inside, hopefully to find the Tesseract and the doctor.

Inside, Bucky and I were instantly on alert as there was no one, no guards, no signs that we had been detected, nothing.  Neither of us liked it but we had no choice and we began moving towards the front of the train.  I walked through the open connection between this car and the next when suddenly a double door shut down, separating me from Bucky.  Through the windows I saw him turn and fire his machine gun at someone entering through the far end.  Hearing a sound behind me I saw another guy, a big guy, loaded with a couple of guns I had never seen before.  I fired at him and his guns fired a blue pulse at me.  Same type of weapon that was on the HYDRA tanks at their factory in Austria.  It took a bit of doing but I finally got him down and used his weapon to blow a hole back to the car where Bucky was trapped.  Through the window of his door I could see he was out of ammo so I got my weapon ready, opened the door and tossed it to him.  Running interference for my friend I raced towards the other soldier sending him out into the open and Bucky took him out.  Suddenly, from behind us I heard the whine of a pulse weapon charging and pushed Bucky down while lifting my shield to take the brunt of the charge, deflecting it into the side of the train car and blowing a hole to the outside.  I was dazed and the soldier was about to charge up again when Bucky grabbed the shield and began to fire on him.  Just as he walked in front of that hole the pulse weapon fired and Bucky disappeared while my shield fell to the floor.  Grabbing it I threw it at the soldier, taking him down and I raced to the hole, looking outside.

"Bucky!" I called, hoping beyond hope that he had somehow held on to something to keep from falling.

He was holding on to a railing and I yelled at him to hold on while I edged closer, hoping to get my hand to his before the railing gave way.  Just as he moved to grab my hand the railing broke and I watched in horror as my best friend fell down into that icy ravine, his screams already drowned out by the sound of the train speeding away from that spot.  It was all rocks and the bottom was hundreds of feet down.  He was gone ... Bucky was gone.  I wept at that moment not just for his death but my own failure to save him.  Me, Captain America, couldn't even save his closest friend from dying.

We accomplished getting the doctor and took him back with us to England although the train didn't carry the Tesseract itself, as it was powered by a portion of its energy.  I went to the pub where Bucky told me he was following that little guy from Brooklyn.  Damned if it hadn't been bombed while we were gone.  I looked in the debris and found some intact bottles, hoping to get drunk, although I knew I wouldn't.  While sitting there crying some more I heard foot steps and turned to see Peggy at the door into the snug.  She tried to tell me it wasn't my fault but I knew deep down that Bucky only joined the unit because of me.  If I wasn't so keen on him being with the Howling Commandos he could have been back with the 107th in the regular war, not fighting some enhanced Nazis with weapons greater than ours.  Peggy gave me a pep talk, telling me to respect Bucky's choice to fight alongside me.  Then I told her that I wasn't going to stop until all of HYDRA was stopped or captured.  She nodded her head at that, saying I wouldn't be alone.  Looking behind the remains of the bar counter she found an unbroken glass and wiped it out with a scarf she was wearing.  Putting it on the table she motioned for me to pour her a drink.

"To Sergeant Bucky Barnes," she said.  "Friend to a little guy from Brooklyn, and a brave, brave man."

Giving her a grim smile we drank to Bucky and she stayed with me until we finished the bottle, even after we left the bombed out pub.

Part 6>>

Series Masterlist

#bucky barnes #bucky barnes fanfiction #ww2 bucky #steve rogers #Ww2 Steve Rogers #peggy carter #howlingcommandos

[allsassnoclass]

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My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

unpopular opinion apparently but i like 5sos5 as a title! luke said that this feels like a self-titled album so i like that it has their name in it (the name that they refer to themselves as), i think that the fact that it’s a palindrome would appeal to them because the symmetry/being the same forwards and backwards could reflect how they’re just as dedicated to the band as they were at the beginning and how this album is going to have a lot of self-reflection in it, and honestly i feel like “this is the 5th album from 5 seconds of summer” is as accurate of a description as you could get and sums up the album in a way no other title would be able to

96 notes - Posted May 11, 2022

#4

👀👀👀

126 notes - Posted May 25, 2022

#3

bad omens mv 🤝 lie to me mv

commenting on knowingly/willingly staying in an emotionally one-sided relationship via car crash metaphor

128 notes - Posted September 26, 2022

#2

apparently today is fanfiction writer appreciation day! shout out to fic writers for sharing creative, heartfelt, emotional, fun stories with us.  this fandom is so lucky to have so many amazing writers and to have built a fantastic writing community, and i’m so thankful to get to read and experience such wonderful work!

134 notes - Posted August 21, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Fanfiction Writing Asks

Do you daydream a lot before you write, or go for it as soon as the ideas strike?

Where do you get your fic ideas?

Do you share your fic ideas, or do you keep them to yourself?

How do you choose which fics to write?

How many wips do you have?  What fandoms/pairings are they for?

What’s the last line you wrote?

Post a snippet from a wip.

Post an out-of-context spoiler from a wip.

Does this word [chosen by asker] appear in your current wip?

Do you work on multiple wips or stick to one fic at a time?

Do you write scenes in order, or do you jump around?

Do you outline your fics?  If yes, how detailed are your outlines?  How far do you stray from them?

Do you listen to music while you write?  If yes, what have you been listening to recently?

What is your favorite location and position to write in?

What’s your favorite time to write?

Do you write by hand, on your phone, or on your laptop?

Do you have a writing routine?

Do you enjoy research?  Which fic of yours required the most research?

Do you enjoy creating OCs or do you prefer to stick solely to canon characters?

Do you prefer writing AUs or canon fics?

Do you prefer writing chaptered fics or one-shots?

Do you title your fics before, during, or after the writing process?  How do you come up with titles?

Is writing the beginning, middle, or end of the story easiest? Hardest?

How do you choose whose POV to write in?

What’s your favorite part of the writing process (worldbuilding, brainstorming/outlining, writing, editing, etc)?

What’s your least favorite part of the writing process?

What area of writing do you feel strongest in?

What area of writing do you want to improve in?

What’s something about your writing that you’re proud of?

See the full post

6,567 notes - Posted April 27, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review #personal #i am very satisfied that my top 5 tags are the boys and 5sos that makes me happy #and i knew the ask game was going to be number 1 that thing has so many notes

[jackstarbrightisaqueen]

First lines

I was tagged by @afewbulbsshortofatanningbed. Thank you - this was really interesting! I loved seeing yours.

Rules: list the first line of the last ten (10) stories you published. (Or however many stories you have, if you don’t have 10. I’m including collabs!) Look to see any patterns you notice yourself, and see if anyone else notices any. Then tag some friends. HAHAHA I do not have 10 to offer. But have 5. убийца (Reprise) Yassen is on the other side of the world when it happens - in Tokyo, about to fly to Amsterdam to meet with his latest client: a British pop star whose phone calls are already annoying him. He has been delayed in Japan for two days, tying up some loose ends. Dividing Lines When Alex turns up on Kabir’s doorstep a fortnight after their school reunion, Kabir’s not really sure what to make of it and he’s none the wiser when Alex leaves three or four hours later. Among the Lotus Alex Rider’s first impressions of Yassen Gregorovich aren’t promising. Reunion Sunday mornings were always quiet in the shop. Retribution Yassen had known that it was a mistake to send Alex to Russia. It’s a bit tricky to discern a pattern, I think?! Retribution starts by telling you Yassen made a mistake, and you spend quite a while waiting for what the consequences of the mistake are - i.e. it presents the question of “why was it a mistake?” Likewise, in Dividing Lines (which I wrote with @valaks), it’s deliberately setting up a question of “what should we/Kabir make of Alex turning up on the doorstep?” In other words, they’re both posing a question to answer in the first line. In убийца (Reprise), on the other hand, it’s made clear almost instantly what “it” is that’s happened; it’s creating the setting and backdrop for the story - the mystery isn’t immediately obvious from the first line. That’s also true of Reunion. Among the Lotus is a special case for reasons I can’t explain without spoiling. One thing that does tie them together (with the exception of Reunion) is that it’s immediately clear who the narrator is. Not a good or bad thing particularly, but I clearly have a preference for making my POV character clear ASAP.... Think most of these have been tagged already but would love to see any or all responses from @valaks @morfoxx @yucasava @ahuuda @pongnosis @irelise @corolune (but no pressure any of you!).

#alex rider #alex rider fanfiction #writing

[toast-the-unknowing]

first lines

tagged by @emmerrr​ and @flightspath​, thanks!

rules: list the first lines of your last 20 stories (if you have less than 20, just list them all!). see if there are any patterns. choose your favorite opening line. then tag 10 of your favorite authors!

I’m including lil ficlets because why the heck not. Under the cut for length:

Ronan hadn't meant to drop his hand over the side of the boat. (rascals and scoundrels, villains and knaves)

“Whose turn is it to deal with asshole regulars,” Adam asks, “yours or mine?” (garden ficlet)

“I’m not going to smile.” (photo studio ficlet)

“You’re going to get a sunburn.” (beach ficlet)

Declan goes on the date, because what damn choice does he have? (not to put too fine a point on it)

“You’re not a dragon.” (high fantasy ficlet)

“What’re you in for?“ (arrested ficlet)

“Don’t know why anyone else is even here,” Ronan mutters after the fourth or fifth time he has to dodge to avoid running into someone. (aquarium ficlet)

“You haven’t posted a new video to the channel in three weeks.” (youtube ficlet)

“Would you say Sacrifice is what defined you?” (the mess you left when you went away)

The living room is empty when Adam comes home from work. (the years to come, the years behind)

Ronan gets a text from Adam on Friday afternoon. (we’re making the best of this world)

Ronan would love to say that he's paying attention when he runs into his soulmate, that his words were deliberate and well-chosen. (if love if just a game (then how come it’s no fun))

Gansey is beginning to think the AirBnB was a mistake. (hold me back, I don’t wanna be a drag)

"I found this in your refrigerator." (sailed my ship of safety ‘til I sank it)

“Fuck.” (sings the tune without the words)

They’ve been dating for one week, no matter what Ronan says about it, when Ronan takes him on a tour of the neighborhood. (our hearts are just made out of strings to be pulled)

"Howdy, pilgrim." (talk low, talk slow, and don’t talk too much)

Adam watches Ronan dance around the words I love you for a month before he says them. (like a moonlight mathematician I subtracted my concerns)

It's one of those dreams that tries to trick Ronan into thinking he woke up, but it's not very convincing. (loosen up and lose your mind)

Thoughts:

I was all prepared to go off my last 20 fics period, not limit it to Raven Cycle, and then my last twenty were all Raven Cycle anyway. Though if I hadn’t included the ficlets from that meme a little while back I think my Six of Crows fic would’ve snuck in there

Lots of dialogue without context (or even attributed speaker) as an opening sentence

Lots of SHORT sentences as an opening sentence

Tricking readers into thinking I don’t write torturously long sentences for my own fun with zero consideration of them or of punctuation, I suppose

I was set to blame this trend on that ficlet meme -- I noticed I was doing lots of short dialogue openings and kind of leaned into doing it on purpose -- but the trend continues on into other works, too

I think 16 takes the cake for this category of opening sentence

I actually prefer when the opening sentence manages to pack a lot of context in, versus the “here’s a line of dialogue dropped on you from out of nowhere" -- which, to be clear, I also think is fun, but getting a lot of information in, about who our POV character is, what their emotional state is, what’s happening, what the tone of the piece is going to be, while still being interesting and intriguing, that I think makes for the strongest opening sentences. But, obviously, harder to pull off.

On those merits, I think 5, 14, 17, and 19 are my favorites on the list.

this is already long and I’ve tagged people in something else today so I’m gonna hold off except to say, play if you want to! 

[clolikescloquetas]

THINGS I HOPE TO SEE (OR NOT) IN ACOTAR4

Nesta NOT STAYING AT THE ILLYRIANS MOUNTAINS for long, and travelling to other courts or the continent instead so she sees the world just like she wanted to do before the war. I think sending her away to a cold mountain surrounded by misogynistic warriors who hate her and are scared of her was a stupid af decision. Especially when it's a war camp and war triggers her PTSD. Oh and let's not forget there's a revolution about to take place. I see it as a very forced way of the narrative to make cassian and nesta interact. I understand an unexpected turn of events was needed as a beginning for acotar4, but going to the mountains shouldn't be anything more than a beginning that quickly leads us to another location. We've been told many times that nesta is "illyrian at heart" but I don't buy it. She isn't such thing, and her character is way too complex and interesting and has too much potential to just make her fit into a culture she doesn't belong to and has nothing in common with (it's stupid to think a place that reveres war and bloodshed will help her heal).

Besides, after all the places the previous books introduced I think it would be boring to stick to the same court. I loved Velaris but now that Feyre's story has ended it's time to move on. Not to mention that the Night Court is the worst place for Nesta, it reminds her of all her trauma and its high lord is a male she despises. Nesta needs to go somewhere else where she can recover her spirit and independence, and be free of the commands of a male that gives her orders as if she were her subject (she is not).

Hopefully, knowing how much sjm loves plot twists and given how she's already told us where nesta is supposed to go, it won't stay like that for long.

NO TRAINING. Maybe learning self defense techniques but that's as far as I'll go. No training to turn her into an almighty warrior. Nesta has power from literally the mightiest magic device in the world, and you're telling me getting beat on a ring will empower her?? Even when she's previously stated her refusal to train and said fighting isn't the only thing that makes someone strong?? And we're talking about Nesta, whose powers make her lethal. Making Nesta train would butcher her character and istg if they pull the "fighting helps her go back to her old self and empowers her" I will lose it. Enough with making that troupe work for everyone. We've seen it before and it has worked out well for other character, but in this case it wouldn't feel right and would be boring af.

I've seen a few people say they want Nesta to command the Illyrians, and help with the whole misogynist issue they have, or that she should do the Blood Rite I don't know if the name is correct, I don't remember it to gain the respect of the warriors. How should I put this: NO. This is more of the "Nesta is Illyrian at heart" bullshit Rhysass likes to pull, when what he actually means is that she is proud and stubborn. She, and I can't stress this enough, is not Illyrian. She shouldn't be participating in traditions she doesn't understand and doesn't engage in (she doesn't want to learn how to fight for fuck's sake) and we certainly don't need nesta to pull a white saviour behavior. I don't want her to come and solve a centuries old problem of a culture she doesn't belong to. And I don't see how she could do that in a credible way either, given how they all are terrified and wary of her. This also applies to the rioting issue that is looming over the illyrian camps.

Nesta healing and improving her mental health with cassian at her side to support her, without making him the reason why she gets better. And showing the effects war has on a veteran as Cassian too.

Someone, preferably Nesta, calling out Feyre, Rhysass and the rest of the IC on their shitty behavior and actions, and the narrative finally acknowledging their mistakes and portraying them as the deeply flawed characters they are. Now that we don't have Feyre's POV anymore there are no excuses for condoning their shit.

Cassian realising he has judged, ignored and said cruel things (like he doesn't know why her sisters love her are u kidding me) to Nesta and how he hasn't stood up for her before his friends. Oh and how he ignores her when Mor is present. I'm a sucker for nessian, but before they are a thing, he should apologize. I don't like how he treats nesta poorly and then expects her to love him, when she doesn't owe him shit. It's selfish of him to expect her to fit into his family even when they all hate her. I hope acotar4 handles well these issues. And I can't wait too read Nesta's POV and know why she didn't want to be close to Cassian after the war.

Nesta making new friends on her own, people who respect her and love her. I love nessian but I don't want their relationship to be the only deep interaction and relationship Nesta has. I would LOVE to see her and lucien become best friends (they were supposed to be lovers after all, and although a romantic relationship has been dismissed I'm sure their friendship dynamic would be amazing), or get acquainted with Helion or even Azriel. She needs to meet new people, and preferably not from the night court.

We've read many times how Nesta's powers are described as great and terrible. The source of her power is the fucking cauldron, used to create the world. Even tho no one knows yet what those powers are exactly, she has used them to turn hundreds of soldiers to ashes and even the bone carver, a death GOD, has spoken of the way the earth trembled at her power when Nesta was made. I want these powers to be a huuge part of the plot in this book. I want Nesta to master them fully, and for us to see the process. I don't know if I'm the only one who thinks like this, but when Feyre discovered she had powers from all the high lords, it seemed to me that she mastered them too quickly. I was hoping to get more attention on that issue, but it got dismissed quite quickly. Now that it's Nesta's time, I want the book to fully focus on these powers. Oh, and what I want the most is my baby to become the most powerful creature in the continent. More mighty than Rhysass and the other high lords by far. You can't give us a whole book preaching how nesta is really powerful, and how she took something from the cauldron that made the earth tremble, and then turn her into a common witch or something similar. I mean you can't expect me to believe the high lords have more power than the cauldron.

Although I find that to be another plot hole, bc the cauldron was supposed to be almighty but then Rhys and Feyre restored it when it broke?? Does that mean they are more powerfull than the object that created their world?? If that is so, they why didn't they win against hybern sooner??

Anyways, I want Nesta to never have to bow to anyone. Ever.

Well that is what I'd like to see in the next book. Which, based on the information we have, is basically the opposite of what will happen. As far as we know, sjm said there would be a lot of training in this book (I assume she was talking about Nesta) so there goes the chance of her not been a warrior. We know she'll go to Illyria, and although it's my hope she leaves soon or that she never goes in the first place, I know that's not what's going to happen.

And then there's the sex. Sjm said she had to delete some of the sex scenes bc her editor said they were too much and unnecessary. Which means there are still plenty of sex scenes in the books, as sjm confirmed. Don't get me wrong, smut is fine if handled correctly. But I don't think it will he handled correctly.

In fact, I think acotar4 will be placed on illyria the whole book or at least a huge part of it, and that we'll have lots of unnecessary and meaningless sex scenes inside of Cassian's cabin in the mountains instead of a well written and interesting plot, a well developed and complex relationship between the characters and a well handled depiction of PTSD and trauma healing.

In my mind it'll go like this:

Nesta arrives in the mountains. She and cassian are mean to each other for a while and the sexual tension is pretty obvious between them. Nesta starts training. At the beginning she hates it but over time she ends up loving it and excelling. Sex. Nesta makes a few friends between the illyrian female warriors she trains with, whose characters are shallow and totally secondary. Sex. More sex. Maybe something about Nesta's powers. A scene where cassian and nesta have an openhearted conversation about their relationship. Cassian never acknowledges how he treated Nesta, but she will apologise to him for how she kept him away. This leads to more sex. Nesta makes up with feyre, and apologies to her for being mean or whatever sjm comes up with. Feyre doesn't apologize back, or it's a shitty apologize for sure. Sex. Nesta stablish a cordial although cold relationship with Rhysass and Mor bc apparently she and Az are not destined to interact (even tho Az would totally oppose Nesta's situation of being sent to the illyrian camps). Sex. Nesta does the Rite. Sex. Sex. Something about the illyrian rebels. Cassian gets hurt. Nesta goes feral and gets a hold on the illyrian people. They respect her and answer to her now. Sex.

Or something along these lines. Oh and I have the impression sjm loves her main characters too much to write any scene showing how the decisions, actions or behaviour regarding Nesta of Feyre and Rhys were wrong. Acknowledging this could make it seem like they are flawed people like the rest, and apparently that's not possible.

I pray to be proved wrong once the book is released. Only time will tell.

#I know I sound to bitter but whatever #there are probably lots of grammatical mistakes #I really hope to see at least one of my points happen in acotar 4 #although I'm not that optimistic #cassian #nesta archeron #nesta #they are going to make my baby dirty in the next book I just know it #nessian #nesta x cassian #acotar #acotar4 #sjm #feyre archeron #rhysand #helion #azriel #lucien #illyria #Illyrian mountains #cauldron

[regrettablewritings]

Animatic/Storyboard Music

Got bored/procrastinate-y on coloring in this ultra intricate card for my mom. So I’m just gonna make a list of songs I think make for good animatic material. Because why not/I wanna foist my musical tastes on people/ @locke-writes got me in a music binge. For the most part, it’s just gonna be me explaining the meanings or the vibe or what they generally tend to be used for, but really it’s mostly subjective so imaginate whatchu wanna.

“Trust Me” - The Devil’s Carnival Originally depicting a story about the Scorpion and the Frog, it’s the perfect song for when you want to depict the dynamic between a gullible or at the very least more grounded character and a figure whose intentions . . . may be less than pure. Or good for anyone, really.

“The Dismemberment Song” - The Blue Kid I have a playlist dedicated to songs whose content and sound are just . . . not married to one another, but got a weird flirtationship situation going on. Anyway, I’ve seen people say that they like to imagine it’s sung through the POV of a scorned housewife who’s finally Had Enough™️. And . . . They’re really not wrong for it. Really, though, it’s just the right song for when a sadist is just ready to gut a fucker but is disturbingly jolly about it.

“Love Me Dead” - Ludo Continuing with my trend of songs about people in less than ideal situations, “Love Me Dead” is straight to the point: The relationship is just awful and the guy gets nothing from it, but he can’t help but be hopelessly in a state of adoration for the woman he’s latched on to (“You’re born of a jackal! YOU’RE BEAUTIFUL!!”)

“Constellations” - The Oh Hellos There actually isn’t a plot to this song, it just feels really good (as all songs by The Oh Hellos are prone to be). However, if you feel a need to portray the concept of having to reorganize your thoughts after realizing that maybe they weren’t what you initially thought, and then coming to the conclusion that even though everything changes as a result, you’ll be alright? This is the song for you.

“A Kindling of Sorts” - The Oh Hellos An instrumental piece that is like . . . It’s related to another song of theirs about nationalism called “Torches”, so make of that what you will. (I personally have been using it to imagine storyboarding an opening for an animated The Witcher series.)

“The Other Side” - The Greatest Showman I know everyone and their mom has used this to portray situations like villains trying to get good guys to join their side. But I dun curr, it’s a fun song. That, and I like what Emilyamio did with her interpretation. It’s fun. For a basic rundown, know it’s another song about two characters’ dynamics being explored, with one coming to the other with a proposal that they join them in whatever endeavors they have in store. It’s often portrayed as something evil, but it really doesn’t have to be, as the original context was more about letting loose than anything.

“The Thief and the Moon” - Shawn James A much more mellow piece. Simple and straight to the point: A thief tells the Moon that he plans on stealing her light to shade the world in darkness. The Moon insists that the thief would only doom the world by doing so, to which the thief clarifies that he doesn’t care; if the world is shrouded in shadow, it means he will be able to steal with more ease (“My very existence is a race to attain wealth”). Disgusted, the Moon essentially curses the man with a warning that his greed can and will bring about his end -- and leave him to be forgotten by the rest of mankind, once it happens.

“Villainous Thing” - Shayfer James I’ve seen people say that this song is about singing to a cadaver but I can’t quite find anything confirming that (translation: I’m too lazy to look too into it). Regardless, it’s a fun ditty that yet again portrays someone with less than pure intentions encouraging someone to join him in some good old fashion villainy, as they’ve clearly endured their fair share of hardships and surely wanted to do evil anyway (“You’ll find no ever after here, it’s clear that isn’t what you came for“).

“Necromancin Dancin” - Bear Ghost Straight forward and fun as fuck: A necromancer apparently seems to cross classes and try his hand at barding by not only raising an army of the dead, but by also making them dance in order to make conquering the world easier. Because . . . a body doing Disco Duck isn’t scary, I guess.

"Aquaman” - Walk the Moon A song about one half of a couple wanting to become more involved in their relationship, but still having some nervousness about doing so. If you somehow haven’t heard this song yet, you gotta because it’s the cutest shit.

“Jenny’s Tale” - Ren I’ll be brutally honest, it’s about a woman named Jenny who just wants to get home after a long day of work and an unfortunate encounter with a 14 year old named Screech who gets way in over his head. As in, like, a death happens. That being said, I need. Like. An animated music video of this song. I imagine this shit in gritty charcoal or painted on glass, it just needs this. Somebody who isn’t me who knows what they’re doing, please look into this.

“The Curse of the Fold” - Shawn James As cheesy as it sounds, it basically boils down to not giving up or yielding. But what makes it so cool is the fact that Shawn James makes all his songs basically sound like a western gothic soundtrack. Which helps, because he admits that the title is also a reference to poker, in which giving up too often or too easily can often rob you of a delicious reward gained through perseverance and sacrifice.

“Thank God I’m Not You” - Himalayas I prefer to imagine this for an arrogant asshole of a character. Because that’s exactly what this song is about: They’re a liar and a thief, they’ve been called the son of Satan, and yet they consider themselves lucky -- ‘cause at least they ain’t you! If you have a character in mind who’s a delightful, punchable little shit, this is probably either their anthem or at least on the playlist you inevitably made for them.

"Passerine" - The Oh Hellos So there’s a common trend in The Oh Hellos’ discography that tends to explore the two founders’ experiences with faith and their growth in how they understand it or recognize it. With “Passerine”, the concept being explored is the experience they had when it came to taking a step back and realizing just how many of their supposed “fellow Christians” were actually doing some rather unchristian things, so to speak. When they “prune[d] their feathers”, it became clear that they had less in common with certain people proclaiming to be Christian while also spouting bigotry and greed. However, the desire to move away from such influences comes with the feeling of being torn, as moving too far away from the Bible leaves the singer feeling as though she is betraying something she holds dear. As a result, “Passerine” symbolizes not a breakage from faith, but a breakage from blind faith as they understood it, and the inevitable feeling of being torn that comes along with expanding upon how one views their beliefs and those around them. It’s therefore not uncommon to see Good Omens animatics using this song. (Something I also noticed is that throughout the song, you hear pieces of “Constellations”. TOH have a tendency to reference previous pieces, and considering “Constellations” is a song about changing perspective and the meanings we apply to them, it fits in beautifully with a song about reevaluating one’s stance.)

“Like the Dawn” - The Oh Hellos As stated before, a lot of TOH’s discography draws inspiration from their faith. In this case, it’s an outright retelling of the Garden of Eden, specifically when Adam awoke to find Eve had been created. What makes this iteration stand out to most, however, is that the singer is female, which seems to change the vibe you get. It sweetens the feeling of wonder we often forget the first man might’ve felt upon seeing somebody made for him, creating an air of beauty yet comfort with such lines as “And like the dawn, you broke the dark and my whole earth shook” or “You were the brightest shade of sun I had ever seen.” Even without the awareness or an interest in religious influences, it still manages to be a very feel-good song -- which is the mark of an overall good song in general!

���Confession” - RED Dealing with the constant battle of feeling ashamed that how you feel on the inside isn’t in sync with how you present yourself on the outside. That you should feel bad for smiling out at the world while screaming and thrashing -- like it’s a lie. But you can’t help it: It’s what you’re accustomed to. Though it does end on a hopeful note with the singer deciding that they want to reach out for help and rid themselves of this feeling of pain they have inside.

“When I Grow Up” - Matilda . . . Only if you want to cry. Seriously. When you’re a kid, everything seems difficult but you’re positive that once you grow up, everything will change: You’ll be tall enough to climb the trees you were too small to, you’ll be able to carry everything because you’re stronger, you’ll be brave enough to fight the monsters hiding in your room, you’ll finally have all the answers. . . . But life isn’t that simple. We wish it were, but it isn’t. There’s this bittersweetness about this song, about a sense of purity we unfortunately grow out of where we think things will be just the same enough for us to do what we want when we want, but things are more complicated than that. We still struggle to reach, to bear the weight, to not be afraid, to have even a fraction of the answers. But! We’re reminded that just because we’re told life isn’t fair, doesn’t mean we have to take it. After all, nothing changes when nothing happens. And even beyond that? It helps to remember that we’re never quite done growing up; there’s always more to learn, so remember to be patient with yourself.

“Hand Me My Shovel, I’m Going In!” - Will Wood and the Tapeworms This is . . . a song. The lyrics are honestly kinda all over the place and shooting rapid fire, making it a bit difficult to discern what exactly the singer is going on about. It makes for a pretty crazy song that suggests somebody’s going unhinged, which is apparently precisely the intention?? I’ve seen a lot of people interpret this as a song about a guy who is already at a low point in his life but nonetheless is going, “. . . I bet I can go deeper. Hand me my shovel.”

“No Reason” - Beetlejuice God if i had a youtube channel the segment i would spend on this song would be so juicy just ripe and thicc with thoughts and feelings i tell ya rich like a fresh fatty peach the apple that tempted Eve and gagged Adam yes ‘Nother song that explores the dynamic between two differing people and their worldviews. At its simplest, “No Reason” is about two opposite ends of a spectrum coming to a head: Idealistic and hippie-dippy Delia is convinced that everything happens for a reason, while cynical and depressed Lydia asserts that everything happens at random and it doesn’t matter anyway because we’re all going to die. And even though the delivery is ultimately a comedic one, you get more insight as to why one another feels the way that they do: Lydia, as we’ve previously learned, has recently lost her mother to an illness, which has left her depressed and feeling invisible (a theme in the show); whereas Delia’s failed marriage and desperate attempts to nonetheless be happy have left her dependent on the idea that these things had to have happened for a reason, otherwise, her pain would’ve been for nothing. What’s important is that neither side is actually appointed as the winner, with the song ultimately ending that the universe is random for a reason.

“Barbara 2.0″ - Beetlejuice Without spoiling anything (or at least too much), “Barbara 2.0″ is about growth. It’s about learning to put your foot down after a literal lifetime of being passive out of fear of what might happen and just accepting that nothing will happen if nothing happens -- but that doesn’t make whatever happens good.

“Bleed Magic” - IDHKBTFM It’s either about a killer or a vampire. No, seriously: When Dallon Weekes was asked about what the story of the song was, that was his answer. I personally prefer to think of it as a vampire or demon of some kind, given that the song came out around Halloween. Perfect for yet another example of somebody (likely supernatural) having an upper hand on an unsuspecting mortal. ...I have way too many of these on this list, I swear I don’t have a problem —

“Feel Good Drag” - Anberlin A toxic relationship of sorts. In that it shouldn’t be a relationship to begin with. Depicts the singer being approached by an ex, who seeks a one-night stand while her current boyfriend is out of town. However, the singer is aware that trying to continue anything regardless of the situation is a moot point: Even when they were together, their relationship was doomed from the start, and nothing about that is going to change -- especially now.

“Soviet Trumpeter” - Katzenjammer (It’s kinda difficult to work with this one but I’ve seen people work with less or stranger.) Based off the life of one Eddie Rosner, a Jewish Polish trumpeter whose fame within the USSR unfortunately faded due to the Soviet Union’s heavy censorship. Even if nothing is to be done with it, it still paints a melancholic picture of a talented man’s skills being largely unknown as a result of things beyond his control. All wrapped up in a song that denotes a strange deterioration in a way I can’t quite place.

“Apple Blossom” - The White Stripes On its face, it’s a very sweet song: The singer encourages his beloved to be vulnerable enough with him to tell him her troubles and to let him “sort them out for [her]”. She’s clearly saddened, and seeing so distresses him to where he insists that he will do whatever he can to make her happy. However, the tone of the song and certain lines make it easy to twist into yet another song of a character attempting to seduce somebody into a state of vulnerability . . .

“You’ve Got Possibilities” - It’s a Bird, It’s a Plane, It’s Superman The one singular song people actually liked from this forgotten musical. Perfect for when somebody intends on giving somebody else a makeover. Y’know, after totally roasting them on their posture and clothing. If you want to add a lil something extra, know that the context is that a lady wants to give Clark Kent a makeover, insisting that in spite of his schlubby appearance, there’s gotta be something underneath. I repeat: She is telling this to Clark freaking Kent.

 “Still” - Anastasia In the context, the show’s antagonist (not bad guy, there’s a difference) finds himself torn between obligation and personal interest: Does he fulfill his duty and live up to expectations set upon him by his father and the society he’s been selected to help uphold? Or does he let a woman he has become fond of go? Is she truly as innocent as she claims? Or is she well aware of what she’s doing? And every time he thinks he’s reached a conclusion, he can’t help but thing, “But still . . .” Good for when you want to portray a character conflicted between obligations of politics and what their heart wants.

“Two Nobodies in New York” - [title of show] Two young men plan on entering an upcoming theatrical festival but struggle with what to even submit. This song in particular focuses on them trying to figure out what to even write, the concept of fame, and if wanting the certain things that may come with fame can mean anything from being sell-outs to getting a sitcom. It’s admittedly specific, but it’s a cute and funny interaction between two guys who are, for the most part, actually in sync with their thoughts and anxieties. For the time being.

“Into the Unknown” - Idina Menzel Look, I refuse to watch that movie. I just do. But I will take this song over That Other One any day. Mostly because I personally like to imagine that the singer in this song is about to embark on a Pixaresque journey after accidentally leaving her home during the night of The Wild Hunt, accidentally separating her spirit from her body and thus giving her a very limited time to get back to it before she remains a soul trapped in a whirlwind of ghosts forever. But first: Let’s sing about that strange howling that coaxes her so.

“You’re Gonna Go Far, Kid” - The Offspring I sure do long songs that can characterize a shithead . . . Anywho! The smoothest way to go is just to portray some cocky, manipulative shit who’s used to just lying and cheating their way to get what they want before slipping away without any consequences -- to a point. There’s the option of portraying the betrayer’s comeuppance, but there’s also the frustratingly delicious option of just letting them get away with whatever to lie another day.

“Why Should I Worry” - Billy Joel When in doubt, go to earlier Disney. Because like it or not, they had some bops. And when in the need of portraying a happy-go-lucky (probably idiotic) doofus and his more neurotic or cynical friend going about their life with the former just Mr. Magooing it while the latter suffers more realistic consequences? You go with this song. If you want. That’s just me.

“Transformation” - Brother Bear For when you want to invoke a mystical or otherworldly feeling. There’s really not much more I can say except to encourage you to listen to it and watch the scene if you can find it. You’ll get the vibe.

“No Girl’s Toy” - Raggedy Ann and Andy: A Musical Adventure It’s a big shame this movie is relatively unknown and never got a proper VHS release or anything -- mainly because the music in this cult classic is definitely stuff I could see becoming standards. I could see people performing “I Never Get Enough” for little shows, or recycling “Blue” for a different show. Thankfully, somebody was able to upload a clear enough sounding recording of “No Girl’s Toy”, so at least we have that. In context (just...follow me on this), Raggedy Ann’s brother, Raggedy Andy, has had enough of being subjected to “girly things” while in the nursery. Additionally, though, the way the song was written means it can also be interpreted as just a guy who refuses to let himself be yanked around regardless of how thick the sugar being laid on him is. . . . If you wanna poke fun as a character for trying to appear tougher than what he is, here’s the song. (That being said, Andy is a sweetheart at the end of the day. No amount of tough-fronting will hide that.)

“I Enjoy Being a Girl” - Flower Drum Song (It is by sheer coincidence that this song follows the above.) Really, it’s exactly what it says on the tin: The singer enjoys being a girl and what all it entails for her. She loves her feminine form, she loves the attention she gets, she loves dolling herself up, she loves frilly dresses, and she hopes to one day marry a guy who enjoys “having a girl like [her].” And honestly? Good on her! Love whatcha love, lovely! Seriously, though, it’s a cute song for anyone who just wants to indulge in some girliness.

“Chip on My Shoulder” - Legally Blonde Come on: It’s Legally Blonde. You know what this bop is, or at least have an idea of it. But since I love this song, I’ll indulge: Disheartened by her failure to both win back her ex and succeed in the fast-paced environment of Harvard, the normally bright-eyed Elle is ready to call it quits. That is, until junior partner Emmett gets involved. Unimpressed by her story, Emmett reveals that he got to where he was by busting his ass due to having a chip on his shoulder from his rough beginnings — and maybe a chip on the shoulder is exactly what Elle needs to survive. And as somebody driven by spite, I can appreciate that kind of message. Anywho, it all in all is a song about growth and learning how to be “driven as hell” to keep up with an opportunity that may not be easy to take, but is not one to be passed by.

“What Do I Need with Love?” - Thoroughly Modern Millie “What Do I Need with Love?” asks exactly that: He could date a different girl every night of the week if he so wanted, and never once had any desire to go steady before. He considers himself lucky to have never fallen for anyone -- until now. Which he’s not! He’s not in love. ...He totally is and, by his own admission, he’s got it bad it’s terribly adorable.

“Interlude IV” - Zach Callison The entire album is actually a narrative about a failed relationship of Callison’s and I’m sure the other songs are just as great fuel for animatics -- I’m just too caught up on listening to this one over and over. Sometimes, we just wanna listen to Steven Universe cuss and be openly furious. Seriously, though, even without the context of the rest of the story, you get the idea well enough: A spiteful Zach decides to get back at the one that broke his heart in such a painful way, whereas a well-meaning friend insists they just leave it be and move on. While this technically would be the better and healthier option, Zach is just too far gone with rage to let it go and decides to take care of things by himself.

“Evermore” - Beauty & the Beast Look, I know the remake wasn’t anything crazy. But also I don’t honestly care too terribly much. Besides, this song was nice and it really gets me after that key change. We all want a royal doofus to be enamored enough with us to let us go for our own happiness but still know that their life will forever be changed because they met us. Animate that shit. Over and over.

goddamn this list is long lemme just stop this now byyyyeeeee

#long post #boop #music post #sorta

[e-vasong]

Can I ask about your writing process?

Huge fan of your TUA fics here - the way you just GET the characters is incredible - its almost like reading a novel written by the actual show writers!

How do you go about your characterisation and your drafting process? Any tips on nailing the complexities of the characters (specifically five)?

Thanks!!!

:') This is literally so nice I don't know how to respond, oh my goodness. I wish I had, like, life-altering writing wisdom for you here, but I honestly feel like my entire process is kind of a mess. I'll share it with you anyways, though, just in case you can glean anything helpful from it. I’ll tuck it below a cut, but here it is (ft. some of my specific characterization notes on Five, since you asked :D).

Pre-draft: Concept stage! This can be a variety of things -- sometimes it's a specific scene. For me it's usually a challenge of some sort. I like to take things that I think are unlikely for a character (under what circumstances would [x] character ever become a bad guy? How would [x] character’s secrets get revealed if they never talk willingly about their emotions?) Then I build out from there. I outline sometimes now, but I’ve been winging all my pieces for so long that it’s pretty tough for me. 

Draft one: Throw things at the wall. If I let myself, I will spend way too long agonizing on making every word perfect on the first go around, and I’ll never write anything. So draft one has permission to be as bad as it needs to be: sentence fragments, OOC dialogue/actions, clunky word choice, the whole nine yards. The most important thing is getting the words/scenes on the page.

Draft two: What sticks? Everyone is different -- I find it easier to edit than to write in the first place. So here’s where I look over my work from draft one. Is my sentence structure variable enough? How are their voices? Their actions? Does the narration work with the POV I’m using for the scene? 

Like, okay. I’m working on chapter two of the end of the war right now. Currently, it includes this line:

“How did you even—” Five starts, then shakes himself.  Absolutely not.  He isn’t entertaining this.  “Luther.”

In retrospect, I’m not wild about it. It doesn’t sound in character to me. I’m not pulling out receipts right now or anything, but the more I think about it, the more that I feel certain that Five rarely expresses surprise unless really shocked. Part of this is likely the contrast between him in his siblings (all the stuff about the Apocalypse and time travel is familiar to him and new to them, so the show has a lot of “Five explains [x] to his siblings while they look flabbergasted by him.”)

Anyways, it doesn’t sit right. So maybe, instead:

Five frowns, taken off guard. He could ask, but--quite frankly--he’s starting to think that he doesn’t want to know. He does, however, know what this is a preface to -- Luther is going to meddle. 

“Luther,” Five says it like a warning. Luther either doesn’t hear it or doesn’t care.

Anyways, rinse and repeat step two as much as necessary, and you basically have my entire drafting process.

Characterization, though, I have a more thorough process for!

Fanon and meta is super, super helpful, but I definitely prefer to look at canon first and foremost. I find it easiest to build characterization by asking myself questions about the character! I mean, don’t get me wrong. The first step is just to...get your own read on their personality? And there’s no trick to that. Everyone comes away from watching a show/reading a book with a slightly different interpretation of a character’s personality. But when building off of that to write them, I find questions helpful. They vary from fandom to fandom, but, like, here are some of the questions I’ve asked myself while writing Five.

What motivates them? For Five, this is a super easy one. He literally says it at multiple points throughout the show. He’s motivated by his family. To the point of wanting to save the world because they’re a part of it. Five troops through injury and pain and discomfort, but one reference from Handler about a deal to save his family is enough to coerce Five into 1 - working with her when he doesn’t want to and 2 - taking a job that he doesn’t seem like he wants to take.

How far are they willing to go to get it? For Five, he’s willing to do pretty much anything.

Are there any contradictions in their characterization? This is a weirdly specific question, but! People are inherently contradictory. Sometimes in TV or movies or books, it’s just bad writing. But sometimes it’s because people are complicated. So, in TUA, Five is consistently a big-picture thinker throughout the series. He seems to view his job at the Commission with apathy because he knows that it’s part of maintaining the timeline and necessary for him to get back home and stop the Apocalypse. He plans to kill an innocent person because he believes the butterfly effect of their death could stop the end of the world. He is, in many ways, a utilitarian -- the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few. The greater good sometimes requires a lesser evil. Pull the lever in the trolley problem, and kill the one to save the five. Unless that one is one of Five’s siblings. 

For instance, his dialogue with the Handler in season one seems to imply that he is willing to give up fighting the Apocalypse if and only if she can guarantee his siblings’ safety (though this admittedly turns on how honest you think he was being with her -- I think he was honest, but smart enough to know she’d never follow through, but a fair argument can be made either way.) There are a million ways to read this, and the fun of playing with characterization is that you get to experiment with them! I read it as proof that Five is so driven by his desire to save his siblings that he actually places their wellbeing above his own moral compass (whether his moral compass is right or wrong is a whole other debate.)

What are they like at their best vs. at their worst? At his best, Five is strategic, driven, independent, determined, loyal, and protective. At his worst, he’s controlling, suspicious, bloodthirsty, temperamental, and obsessive. Of course, most people don’t just switch between these two extremes, and these traits frequently coexist, interact, and manifest in milder ways.  Five being suspicious usually manifests as him being cautious until he’s confronted with a character (in season two, Lila) that strikes him the wrong way. Him being obsessive is often just a side product of the fact that he is determined, loyal, and protective.  The fact that he can be controlling is connected to how independent he can be -- the same reason that Five tries to keep Diego in the mental hospital, never tells people that he’s injured, and hides things from them is the same reason he’s so quick and effective at getting things done. This is just a handy way of compiling a flaws/virtues list, and I like to look at it in terms of the potential extremes because I think it makes it easier to see how they interact to create the middle ground where the character actually exists.

How do they talk? Arguably the most important question for actually getting their voice, and the easiest way to nail this down is to just...look at the canon dialogue. Does the character use really big words? Do they talk in long gusts or in short, clipped sentences?  Do they use contractions more or do they not shorten things? This is the hardest part of writing Five for me, because my first impulse is to make him talk like an Intellectual (tm) and Very Erudite Adult. Like, I default to that when writing him, and it’s a horrible habit (in my opinion) because...while he does speak that way sometimes (usually when explaining things to his siblings) that’s not actually how he talks most of the time.  (Like, for instance, I tend to default away from Five using contractions in my first drafts of things. He actually uses contractions a lot, and frequently shortens words--”got to” is “gotta” for Five, “because” becomes “‘cause”, etc.) 

Other examples:

Five: Billions of people are about to die tonight. You can change that.

The Handler: Tonight, tomorrow. So little difference in the scheme of things. Don't you remember the Commission's raison d'etre? What's meant to be is meant to be, or, as I like to say, que será, será.

Five: It's bullshit in any language.

I love this exchange so much :D. And it establishes some great things about the way Five talks! He doesn’t dance around the issue or debate her or try and prove her wrong. He just tells her he thinks that that opinion is dumb, obviously.  He’s blunt, straightforward, and honest. (This seems to tie into the thing I was saying about Five and contractions -- he picks the most straightforward way of saying things unless he’s giving a technical explanation.)

Five: Okay, Luther, but be careful. I mean, I've... I've lived a long life, but you're still a young man. You got your whole life ahead of you. Don't waste it.

Five talks like an old man. Not all the time (though there’s a wonderful gif set out there somewhere of Five using old timer slang -- wait, I found it here.) He doesn’t use the old-timey slang all the time -- and I personally like the idea of mixing up Five’s slang habits and including slang from all sorts of eras because he’s a time traveler whose primary source of interaction after four decades alone was other time traveling assassins. But! He also talks in a way where he shows his age. 

Regardless of where you think Five’s psychological age falls (I have my own Opinions on this), he seems to unilaterally view himself as the Big Sibling, and by a very large margin at that. That’s reflected in how he talks. Not always, since not every line of dialogue is relevant to his age. But stuff like this, or related to it, crops up a fair amount. He counsels his siblings on their problems (as when he comforted Diego post-Eudora’s death), and there are little moments like the quote above, where the point is that Five has indeed seen many more years than his siblings and has the perspective to reflect that.

Well, this is way too long now, and it’s really late where I’m at. I feel like the comprehensibility of this post has been steadily declining the whole time, but if other writers have tips that they want to add onto this, please go ahead! 

#asks #writing #writing advice #which im not super qualified to give haha so! again #if anyone else has tips and tricks they want to add #esp if you're familiar with five like anon is asking! #feel free to chime in

[mego42]

I 100% agree about wanting more fanfic lists! I honestly think it's the best way to get a variety. Everybody has personal preferences, if someone, who mostly reads long, fluffy au Brio fic, is making recs, they're not likely to mention short, angsty, canon Brio (which is understandable and fair!) so ideally someone else, who does like those, would also do recs. I'm pretty sure I've read or at least tried the vast majority of Brio fics, but the recs often make me re-read the fic and author.

YAAASSSS!!! I mean like, okay, I v much get why people have issues with rec lists, and I def do not by any stretch endorse the idea that recs/rec lists should be considered anything other than one person sharing a think they liked, but to me a lot of the issues (the same fics/authors getting recced, feeling like awesome fics/authors are going unrecognized) can be solved by more reccing, not less. everyone’s got different taste and different stuff they look/read for and I am extremely pro sharing that.

Idk, I think about it like this: in a previous internet life I was a YA book blogger and I lived and died by recs from other bloggers whose taste and preferences I knew. I mean, you know, I’d check out a book bc the premise sounded interesting but literally the first thing I would do was go to Goodreads and look for a handful of people who tended to like the same books I did and see what they were saying about it bc that was the best way to get a good idea of if I wanted to give it a shot. Or, on the flip side, there were some people whose reviews I followed bc I knew we v much did not read for the same things so if they hated a book for X, Y and Z reasons, I was probs going to like it (one thing about book blogging is if you want to keep current, you do not have a lot of time to mess around, snap judgements are key but that’s a whole other thing and idk if it’s even relevant anymore bc that landscape has changed so much). 

ANYWAY, the point is, I got in the habit and now I do the same thing with fic bc, tbh, I don’t have a ton of time to read, esp not when I’m actively writing which, with the exception of the last week or two, I’ve been doing p non-stop since I got here. All of which to say is, I am desperately in favor of fic recs for purely selfish reasons, I need them! Give them to me!!! Please!!!!!

That said, I uh, am v bad at returning the favor and I recognize that (I think I’ve made what? two rec lists for this fandom?) so I will try to do better to live by my own, idek what this is, moving on and here are 10 recs not really thematically linked by anything other than I’ve read them and loved them and don’t think I’ve put any of them on one of my rec lists yet (and if I have, my blog is a trainwreck I cannot be expected to remember what’s on it LET ME LIVE):

The Goodest Boy by EnsignDisaster

There’s a key turning in the lock and Buddy rushes over to greet his Master excited for her to meet his new friends. The door opens and he dances around Master’s feet rejoicing on the fact that she’s made it home. It's been literally forever.

“Hey Buddy what’s wrong? Need to go potty? Need to pee-pee?”

“Nah he’s good we took him out.”

Master does something very unMasterlike, she drops all the food she’d brought in on the ground and screams. It’s a non traditional avant garde type of hello…Buddy loves it. Mostly because while Master taps furiously on her small light box and sits tense in the corner opposite his new friend Buddy can lick up the egg smashed on the hardwood floor.

Buddy! The! Dog! POV! no further explanation necessary. Technically WIP, but it covers the whole pilot in a way that could be read as standalone (THOUGH THAT WOULD V MUCH GIVE ME A SAD though, when did the show forget the Bolands had a dog? so maybe that’s a tragic casualty of canon, idk)

May The Moon’s Silvery Beams by @pynkhues

Emma hums in agreement, and Rio turns her around to sit her on the counter, grabbing one of the older looking boxes of muesli while she kicks her legs out, heels bumping back against the counter, watching him. He gropes around the inside of the box, finally just opting to pull the plastic cereal bag out and peering inside. He can’t quite keep the grin off his face when he sees the wad of cash lining the bottom. This woman kills him, she really does.

Then there’s a little face peering up beside him, trying to peek into the box.

“What is it?” she asks, and he tilts the box sideways so she can see inside.

The upside to not getting here until s3 is that old fic is new to me! Huzzah!! Idk how many of y’all have already read this on but if you haven’t I highkey recommend. Extremely cute take on what if Emma woke up when Rio and came by to collect his/Beth’s/whoever's money during the shutdown. Cannot believe I’m reccing kidfic. Witchcraft!!!!!!

Maybe You’re My Fantasy by ohmisterjapan

He fucking loves the involuntary. It speaks to how he likes to unlock chaos and walk away. He's been called a control freak before and it felt like such a misunderstanding of him - he's all about self control but he doesn't want to control others. It's more that he enjoys revealing to them how little they can control themselves. It's more that he likes to stand still in the eye of someone else's storm and pick coldly through the wreckage.

Another oldie but a goodie. This fic is more like an extended character study (first chapter Rio POV, second chapter Beth) and I LIVE FOR THIS KIND OF SHIT. I really really really love the take on both characters, it really digs in and pulls out some nuances that made me sit and think about my own read of them and I love it.

A Shock Of Blue by mintletters16

“You don’t look very well. Would you… like me to get you a glass of water or something?”

Her voice is low but smooth, laced with a softness that cuts straight though to his core. Strawberry blonde locks fall gently just above the pair of magnets freezing him in place.

He can still feel the chaos tearing through his veins - emanating from the gold plated gun stuffed in his waistband - and suddenly he can’t be here anymore. Can’t meet this wide-eyed gaze that’s been locked on his for the past God-knows-how-long anymore.

Can’t see blue alive and concerned when he just left it cold and void somewhere in oblivion.

She’s looking at him like he’s on the brink of madness. He thinks maybe he is.

Apparently, it’s backlist rec day over here and I’m not sorry. This one is another technical WIP but the chapter works as a standalone (BUT if the author decided to return to it I WOULD NOT BE MAD). It’s a what if Beth and Rio met pre-canon and it works so!!! well!!!! The tension and fascination and build are all *chef’s kiss* plus the writing is gorgeous and lyrical and ugh, I love it.

for a moment we were strangers by openhearts

“We got stuff,” Rio motions with a nod to the backpack Beth hadn’t noticed when they arrived hanging on the back of one of the chairs at the island.

She swallows and turns back to the dishes, realizing Rio apparently means to sleep there , assuming the place isn’t bugged.  Or for some kind of cover story if it is.  She turns and fixes Rio with a narrow-eyed stare, studying his face, the corner of his jaw especially prominent from the angle she’s looking up at him.  He’s methodical about drying each dish and setting it back on the rack, maddeningly ignoring her hard stare, so when he goes to take the next plate from her hands she grips it tightly and gets his attention.

“Hey.”

“What you on about now?” he asks, irritated.

It gets her gut uneasy, how he’s just . . . there, settling in, in ways he never had before, no matter how nonchalantly he would let himself in through her locked doors.  

“This is,” Beth tries, failing, to find words for it, “. . . it’s weird .”

This one takes place post 204 and Rio and Marcus end up spending a long weekend staying with Beth and Emma for reasons (that work, for the record, I’m just not trying to summarize rn) and it’s domestic and cute but honestly my fav part of it is how weirded out Beth is by how easily they slip into sync. The story does an excellent job balancing where they are in canon (uneasy post-sex truce) with a snapshot of what they could be if they got over themselves (HA! as if) and Beth is DEEPLY FREAKED which makes her slow slide into realizing she could maybe sort of kind of oh shit like it/him??? that much more satisfying.

Not So Careful by @bensonstablers

When he doesn’t answer, her eyes go to his but he’s too busy watching the letter opener which is still pressed against the back of his hand. Curiously, Beth runs it up his arm, careful not to press too hard, and smiles a little as he shivers. Pulling her leg up onto the bed, she shuffles closer to him before pressing the tip of the sword to his chest and slowly circling his left nipple with it, being sure not to get too close.

“You ain’t gotta be that careful.”

And when she lifts her eyes to meet his, he’s got that look. The one that always makes a lump form in her throat and for her to fall back into bed with him without a single thought of what they have to do that day. Only thing is, this time they’ve got nothing to do for the rest of the weekend and well, staying in bed the entire time had seemed like an appealing idea so she allows herself to give in a little to that look.

It makes me EXTREMELY SAD that knifeplay ranked so low on the kink survey so I’m gonna need y’all to check out this V V V EXCELLENT example of it and come back and tell me you’re sorry and you voted wrong. I am v reasonable what are you talking about.

love (where it wasn’t supposed to be) by @lilliloves

"You know what I can't stand?" Rio asks, stepping closer. It's a rhetorical question but he pauses for a second and watches Dean sniff, watches a bead of sweat trickle down his forehead, watches him shift on both his feet as he contemplates making a run for it.

"A guy who don’t realize how good he's got it." Rio continues, looking Dean up and down in disgust. "A guy that will literally fuck up a good thing just to get his dick wet."

"Yeah, well I can't stand a guy who can have anyone he wants but chooses the married woman he's not entitled to.” Dean shoots back. "And I really can't stand the fact that you're always in the room with us even when you aren't there."

And who brings him into the room Dean hmmmmm????? Jk, jk (or am I). In this one Rio catches Dean out on the town with another woman (bc of course he is) and tries to call him out but whoops! gets called out himself. I really love the like, idk, undercurrent of wistful regret in this fic. I love Dean straight up calling Rio out on his feelings (spoilers but there’s an exchange right after this one that made me straight up holler), and, you know, obvs I am here for Rio making Dean feel like an ass. 

Hell Is Other People by makemanybraver

Rio: We're in Hell, Elizabeth! If you don't think you belong here, then repent! Don't fuck everyone in the room in hopes that you get to go out!

Beth: Why do I have to repent?!

Rio: Because you did some fucked up shit in your life, Elizabeth! You keep doing fucked up shit here, too! And you think you don't belong here!

Beth [screaming at the top of her lungs]: Because I don't!

This fic is existentially bonkers and I love it. It’s the kind of experimental format/homage/what have you kind of thing that I L O V E. Based on No Exit by Jean-Paul Sartre, Beth, Rio, and Fitzpatrick are stuck together in a room in hell for all eternity. What more do you need, honestly.

Working On Things by odenkirk

Unknown Hold up, Elizabeth. I'm really thinkin about you here.

Beth turned her face into the pillow, effectively suffocating herself for a moment, but thinking it was a good trade off for the way the cool silk of her pillowcase chilled her skin.

She lifted her head to glance at the still sleeping Dean before replying.

Beth I'm thinking about you too. But this can't happen.

She wanted him to know she wanted him, but she also thought that admitting she was already there would save Rio from trying to convince her. She wanted him, but morals had to win just once in a while.

YES this is technically Beth/Dean while also being Beth/Rio BUT it’s also sort of Rio/Dean and I am HERE FOR THE DIVERSITY OF SHIPPING leave me alone who asked you.

Five Times He Knew What She Was Thinking, and One Time He Didn't by JoeyLee

Aight, so tell ‘em I was hittin’ it. Said deliberately blunt, eyes locked on her face the whole time, just to see those blue eyes widen. She looked so shocked that he almost laughed, so he softened it teasingly just to keep her going. Oh, I’m sorry, sweetheart, tell ‘em we were makin’ love.

Then he just watched her, just watched her face, just fucking fascinated. Her lips were parted and her eyes were big as saucers, and…there it was. Before she could look away flustered, he watched the thought go through her mind. Him and her together.

He wondered what she was picturing or where. Them in the back seat, her bed, a motel?  Her on top or him from behind or his face between her legs?

Whatever it was, the blush started immediately, and he watched it bloom out from her cheeks to her hair. Then she was tearing her eyes away to gulp a little.  But it didn’t knock her down for long before she was looking back. And then, wait, was she actually asking him how to go about telling a fed they were fucking?

Okay this is another technical WIP but works as a standalone. I am absolutely fucking feral for character POV takes of canon scenes and this is a supremely excellent take on Rio POV of some notable scenes from the pilot through 204. Imo it brilliantly captures Rio’s voice and I love it a lot. 

HEADS UP I am absolute shite at tracking ao3 to tumblr unless people have specifically told me someone’s ao3/tumblr name SO if you recognize any of the non-tumblr authors on please lmk so I can tag them and YES I recognize that I am asking y’all to do things for me throughout this entire post and I’M SORRY OKAY I’M A WHOLE ASS MESS LOVE YOU BYE

#brio fic #brio fanfiction #good girls fanfiction #fic recs #anon #asks #gg disk horse #i feel like i had jokes i wanted to make in the tags but now that im here i've totally forgotten them #ANYWAY the important takeaway here is #tell me what you like and why i want to know okay #send me recs #ME ME ME #hahahahaha jk #sort of

[beeblackburn]

Ghosts for the fandom ask as well! 👀

The first character I ever fell in love with: Thomas Thorne. “Ah, she’s gone” remains one hell of a delightful line delivery. And his following melodrama was just amazing to sit through. I love dramatic™ bitches.

A character that I used to love/like, but now do not: I... honestly don’t know? Like, I generally like every character in this series and that’s not particularly a small feat. I suppose if I had to choose... the Captain or Mike, and only because I’ve come to realize their later more self-centered/forcible moments were there from the get-go, from the Captain’s complaining about Fanny’s screaming and Mike taking out a loan without talking about it with Alison while she was in a coma, not necessarily because I dislike them.

A ship that I used to love/like, but now do not: Ummm, none! I generally agree with the ships in this series. 

My ultimate favorite character™: Thomas Thorne, he usually guarantees a laugh with any line reading, he looks good, he usually holds back before his crush on Alison gets too creepy, The Thomas Thorne Affair and Free Pass helps explain his more romantic tendencies and the former genuinely floored me with some of its twists and that last revelation broke my damn heart. Poor Isabelle and Thomas. They lost so much because the first Lord Button was a selfish arse. And I adore that Thomas was the first one who sung along In the Bleak Midwinter with Alison. I hope all the best for him.

Prettiest character: Kitty or Thomas. Kitty’s more my type, and I love her dress, but Thomas has those floofy locks to die for.

My most hated character: FUCK LORD BUTTON THE FIRST WITH A MUSKET BALL. That being said, I don’t come out of the Christmas Special respecting Mike’s sisters. And, depending on how Kitty’s backstory goes, her sister’s set to replace Lord Button the First. Honestly, I feel like I come out of this series hating cousins and sisters.

My OTP: Mike/Alison. Aside from some hiccups, Mike’s genuinely supportive and follows Alison’s lead and Alison grounds Mike’s eccentrics or flights of fear. They’re not friction-less, but they feel lived-in, have little jokes with each other, and are a couple who love each other and work through their problems.

My NOTP: Yeah, still none.

Favorite episode: Man, there’s a spoil of riches in Season 2 alone, but I keep revisiting Happy Death Day, Getting Out, About Last Night, Redding Weddy, The Thomas Thorne Affair, and Bump in the Night. If I had to narrow it down... The Thomas Thorne Affair, Bump in the Night or The Ghost of Christmas all vie for favorite.

The Thomas Thorne Affair is the best flashback episode Ghosts got, given it’s got a ton of narrative room to breathe around the death in question (I love Redding Weddy, but I wanted more scenes between the Captain and Lieutenant Havers), allowing for multiple perspectives to see the death, and I love how many holes get plugged up by POVs like Kitty’s or get misdirected off-track like Robin’s or get made into a more interesting imaginary scenario like the Captain’s (real talk, his take never fails to make me laugh, bless you, Captain). It’s all hilarious (that bird getting shot by Thomas’ gun as he falls is my second-guiltiest laugh of the series) but it also speaks to a very real idea of our memories: that we edit, we revise, we look back with nostalgia or clean up the messier bits. Add in the twists and the Mike subplot and it all adds up to a tragic tale whose theme is about how another man’s utter selfishness is capable of destroying a relationship between two lovers through violence, either directly or by proxy. It’s delightfully hilarious, but it hits so hard and Thomas’ words about the truth making it all worse twists my heart.

I feel Bump in the Night is the funniest episode Ghosts’ got. It’s not particularly serious, there are no real stakes, given one of the burglars is terrible at theft, it’s just a bunch of total morons fumbling through a breaking-and-entering and it’s amazing. Fanny complaining that the burglars are terrible at theft, the Ghosts calling for 999, only to not think through how to communicate, them trying to communicate with Mike via a creepy doll’s eyelids, Alison immediately realizing Mike’s in the wardrobe, Julian writing “2 of them” instead of 2 like a non-dumbass, MIKE IN THE SUIT OF ARMOR, it’s all amazingly funny, but at the same time, it’s all underlined by the emotional truth that Alison, Mike, and the Ghosts have come far enough that the Ghosts are willing to help them out because they like them, instead of scaring them off or causing problems like in Season 1. Alison verbalizes it, but the more touching scene is how she thanks Robin, the Ghost that first scared her because he had nothing better to do, for getting Barclay to help them and he just nods humbly back. This episode is full of idiots, but it’s got a decent amount of heart in it that gives it weight beyond the laughs.

The Ghost of Christmas probably has one of my favorite theses on why we endure the holidays with our families, despite it never being as magical as can be. There’s stuff to nitpick like how I don’t like how Mike’s sisters delight in Mike throwing a fit, going so far to film it, and some of Julian’s scenes with the baby run a bit long for my taste, but I really do like Julian’s summation of Christmas: that it’s perfect because it’s not perfect and that we should be grateful of any time we spend with family, because it will all go away someday, as the ghosts can testify. We take the good with the bad. There are some delightful humor bits like the Ghosts needling the Captain and Thomas to join in on Twister, Fanny looking up at the tall tree from the seeds they planted, Mike’s dad having a chainsaw, and Julian waving off his daughter being a MP of the Green Party (screw you, Julian, she rules because of that), but there’s also the theme of family in the emotional scene. When Mike’s dad tells him they’re overbearing because someday they won’t get to do things for him, there’s a heartwarming irony that, even past death, the Ghosts are there for Alison, their newest family member. This episode made me realize just how... barren Alison’s biological family connections are from the first episode’s mentioning that there were no other direct relatives. And In the Bleak Midwinter is a gorgeous song that cuts as a certain truth: just because others can’t see your family doesn’t make them any less real to you. 

Saddest death: Thomas dying all alone at the tree, no one living by his side, feeling the sting of being rejected one final time at the end because his cousin was a selfish arse who capitalized on a woman he didn’t love for her estate? God, this bears repeating, but fuck Lord Button the First.

Favorite season: Oh, definitely Season 2. I love Season 1, but I’m not a huge fan of second-hand embarrassment and seeing Alison get embarrassed by her reacting to ghosts that others can’t see made me wince quite a few times. I much prefer Season 2′s handling of Alison and the Ghosts and how they work.

Least favorite season: Season 1. I don’t take to the more second-hand embarrassment humor of that season, but I do love every episode except Free Pass. It’s still a great season with episodes like Happy Death Day, Moonah Ston, and Getting Out. Special mention to Happy Death Day, which was the first time I realized Ghosts could balance the comedy and the darkness with sincere emotion without them undercutting each other at the wrong time.

Character that everyone else in the fandom loves, but i hate: Now? Not really. In the first season though, I sometimes found Kitty a little too grating, possessive, and intrusive. Not that I don’t get where she’s coming from, her childhood sounds lonely and painful in ways she doesn’t fully comprehend and ghosthood hasn’t exactly made her any less lonely in some ways, most times I understand, but sometimes, like at the start of Getting Out where I feel she really should pump the brakes. 

That being said, her backstory’s gonna break me. I just know it.

My ‘you’re piece of trash, but you’re still a fave’ fave: Fanny or the Captain. They really can be abrasive or domineering in that first season, the Captain steamrolling over Pat from time to time and Lady Fanny’s nitpicking and homophobia, but I do get why they are that way and they do get better.

My ‘beautiful cinnamon roll who deserves better than this’ fave: Kitty, who deserves all the blankets for that childhood. Mary, who likely has a mental illness and got burnt because of that. Humphrey, who doesn’t deserve being ignored by the Ghosts.

My ‘this ship is wrong, nasty, and makes me want to cleanse my soul, but i still love it’ ship: Thomas/Alison. Thomas, sometimes, your behavior can get a little too much regarding Alison. That first (thankfully only) peep at her in the shower, I know you’ve been frustrated for years as a Ghost, but noooooooo. That being said, when Thomas respects her boundaries and is a supportive friend (have I mentioned how touching In the Bleak Midwinter is?), I dig them.

My ‘they’re kind of cute, and i lowkey ship them, but i’m not too invested’ ship: Pat/Cap. Not that I don’t get it, and it promises heartwarming feels and heartbreak (Pat moving on after they hook up and Captain having to watch another leave him again, but this time, Captain got to admit his feelings before the leaving) and they are rather adorable together, but I’m more waiting for the narrative to acknowledge the possibility before launching myself into the ship full-time.

#bbc ghosts

[herglowinggirl]

can you see an ending to SOK where yun lives / yun redemption? i've been thinking a lot about the trend of abused kids never getting over their abuse and dying instead, and i feel like FCYee does a good job of writing yun and i don't want to say he's guilty of this trend, but sometimes i wonder if there could've been another ending. sorry if this ask is weird/uncomfy, you don't have to answer. have a nice day!

ok so...I am writing a meta about this (familiar anon i see you) but I feel like it’s worth answering here, too. this is less of a meta and more my personal thoughts so there’s no graphic descriptions of anything but I’ll put it under a cut because it got long, tw for canon typical violence/death.

short answer: yeah, there were workarounds but nothing that wouldn’t change the motifs, themes, plot points of the novels. I think the novels set out to make a different point on abuse than atla (think “it was wrong and it was cruel” as opposed to avatar “the obligation to be more than the sum of her grievances with the world” kyoshi) which isn’t a bad thing, necessarily. also, like, atla was a kids show and the kyoshi novels are ya and they very successfully make points on moral ambiguity and who gets to live and who gets to die. I agree and think f.c. yee handled it pretty well and yun was “meant” to die based on his backstory and evidence discussed below + the fact that he’s emulating the cycle of abuse by the end of the book. could it have been done differently? absolutely. was this story meant to? not really. you already said that it doesn’t feel like yun was killed off instead of writing about him dealing with the impacts of abuse, because the impacts were dealt with and explored just...he died at the end anyway, because of the places dealing with that stuff lead him. quoting a line from below the cut but yes, yun apologism on main. but I very much prefer to do it within canon, I think. 

but would I want to see a version where yun lived? a little, yeah, because I wanted, well, justice for him. I wanted him to reunite with rangi and kyoshi and meet team avatar and live out the rest of his life happy and free from jianzhu because I love yun’s characterization, but as a character he has a bigger part of the narrative than being someone I’m attached to. I think that also begs the question should he have been used in those narratives of abuse the way that he was if someone like me (whose relationships could be classified under “complicated” at the very least) could relate and love him, especially for a YA novel? also not sure. maybe it’s not that deep, especially because what’s already been written and published is all but set in stone (and I am not very interested in writing fix-it fanfiction, just building on canon). 

so those are my personal thoughts summed up (there’s extra rambling on why he was supposed to die + a plot workaround below). when all is said and done, this is a storyline I turn to in order to cope, but if there’s anything similar that perhaps ends with the survivor alive...any recs would be appreciated, from anyone! thank you for asking and making sure I’d feel ok ruminating on it <3 I hope you have a nice day too!

contextual evidence...zoryu going “some people will always change you back to who you were,” rangi asking kyoshi why she didn’t stop yun and kyoshi’s only answer being that seeing him had turned her back to her unsure state, yun trying to rid kyoshi of her fans and all her character growth during the final Boss Battle™...these things are a theme. you can’t strip the books of this touch of some are always meant to end, esp b/c that stuff was set up in trok (I always seem to come back to kyoshi asserting her only duty was to protect her loved ones in yokoya and then her duty becoming something much larger) so I feel like you couldn’t get rid of yun death without significant workarounds in the motifs and plot points in the novels.

that being said, I’m sure there are and were plot workarounds to killing yun. there’s an alternate universe out there where the novels ended with yun being a parallel to lao ge (I’ve talked about how they parallel each other before I think it’s very spicy; here and here), where he becomes jianzhu’s successor and just like lao ge kept kyoshi accountable on the other side of things, this time to the bureaucracy of the earth kingdom instead of lao ge’s agenda. this would also tie up when lao ge said something along the lines of “jianzhu does good work.” the novels are in no way perfect and the ending and pacing in the last third of the book do feel rushed to me (although the last kyoshi pov chapter ends sooo sentimental, enough for me to call f.c. yee a sap) but I feel they do establish the ways that kyoshi is going to cope with being a political figure, but I’ll have to elaborate on that somewhere else, so I digress.

the truth of it is this, and it is very harsh—yun was always supposed to be dead. we see it in how he and kyoshi have very similar backstories and the ways that jianzhu and kelsang are also pitted against each other their kids (well, kelsang’s kid, jianzhu’s pupil) end up dealing with the reasons why they were brought in. kelsang saved kyoshi from the goodness of his heart, he took her in and raised her like his own child (this makes me very emotional...) whereas yun was taken in because he was thought to be the avatar. then it turns out that kyoshi might be the avatar, but she is still kelsang’s daughter first, with kelsang honoring her wishes to keep it secret and letting her comfort him on the iceberg, and then when he believed kyoshi over jianzhu. establishing kyoshi’s humanity is really important in the novels so we can give kelsang a big thank you to him and then later to rangi to make sure kyoshi loves and treats herself well. 

what i’m getting at here is that if yun hadn’t been taken in for being the avatar, he would’ve been dead and it’s a form of uh...narrative checkov’s gun in a way? there’s only so long you can make something of yourself by beating tourists at pai sho. kyoshi and yun both had expiration dates and only by the grace of jianzhu and kelsang did they survive. yun reassures himself that life is a game and “he will survive a turn longer.” his story is always about doing the next thing to survive, to prove he’s worthy of the survival and salvation given to him by jianzhu. kyoshi’s story is not about deserving avatarhood, it’s about becoming the avatar. it’s a key difference in the way the narrative treats them. if he’s hadn’t been mistaken for the avatar, he would literally be nothing. he’d be dead. 

and there’s only so far you can go playing the person who deserved avatarhood if you’re not the avatar, and I think that mainly accounts for discrepancies in the idea of justice and how yun and kyoshi get to act on it because believe me, I would’ve loved to see yun tear the whole thing down. like, to see kyoshi have to kill yun for destroying the system (this is an oversimplification*) and then have her declared the “breakdown of negotiations?” like alright...sure, jan. let the boy kill a few people!! eat the rich!! murder isn’t even that bad anyway (/joking).

*yun is literally declared the residue of kuruk’s generation’s sins by hei-ran. this theme of legacy and cycles of abuse is emulated to him which brings me to acknowledge that yeah, it’s really shitty to see him killed when that theme lives in both him and kyoshi. it is a symbolic ending to the cycle of abuse when kyoshi “puts him away” (did she have to say that!!!) but that shit hurts, man. however the line “I’m sorry I said you would have to live with your pain. Because you won’t,” serves to acknowledge that by the end of the duology, yun himself has become an abuser. he’s shoving kyoshi into boxes, tries to kill rangi (to be fair rangi tried to kill him minutes/seconds earlier but he did try to kill her mom for allowing a man to try to kill him. it’s almost like...a cycle), he holds people hostage, terrorizes and murders several people in his pov chapters...at least lao ge was subtle about his work. 

so yes, yun apologism on main. but I very much prefer to do it within canon, I think. 

#you all know the song baby boy by mother mother? #yeah #thank you so much for asking <3 #anonymous #answered asks #z.txt

[captain-of-the-historicfuture]

~hello~ !! For the meta asks!: 3, 6, 9, 12, 15, 18, 21, 24, and 25 :))

Hello!! Thank you for sending these; I was really excited to see that ask game and I was hoping somebody would send some in. It still took me a while to actually answer them though, and for that I apologise. But without further ado! Some meta answers (under the cut because they ended up being fairly long, whoops):

3. What is that one scene that you’ve always wanted to write but can’t be arsed to write all of the set-up and context it would need? (Consider this permission to write it and/or share it anyway.)

I thought of a few examples, but they could basically be grouped together under a common theme: whumpy/angsty scenes that were self-indulgent as all heck. The whole self-indulgent aspect often required the characters to be just the teeniest, tiniest bit OOC and/or necessitated rather unrealistic plot circumstances. So it was simply easier to keep such scenes as maladaptive daydreams, rather than trying to think of explanations for the character/plot issues…or exposing myself to judgement for them LOL.

Receiving permission to write/share one such scene anyway is an opportunity I can’t let slip by though. It might be because I’m writing this while running on zero (0) hours of sleep—let’s hear it for insomnia, y’all!—but I suddenly couldn’t remember any of my newer ideas under this category. However, I did recall a one-shot I had started writing a couple of months ago that sort of counts? “Sort of” because I could actually be arsed to write it since I was, ya know, writing it. Only got about six hundred words down though.

…should I share those six hundred words…?

………nahhh. I don’t think I’m quite ready for that yet.

But here’s the gist of it: Coulson and May (because of course it’s Philinda) were married for quite some time before the Attack on New York. But then Coulson DiedTM and then got ResurrectedTM. But gasp of horror, he had to lose his memories of his romantic relationship with May because reasons. (I actually did have some ideas for those reasons but sshhhh this is about me yeeting context and setup.)

The first half of S1 still happens as normal (except MayWard doesn’t happen because??? Vows) and it’s now post-E20 “Nothing Personal”. The morning after (or a morning soon after, whatever) the T.A.H.I.T.I. reveal! May’s mom—who doesn’t know about GH.325 and whom May fed a cover story about Coulson divorcing her or something equally as oof, IDK—shows up at the hotel and starts ripping into Coulson for breaking her daughter’s heart, then dragging her back into the field with her ex-husband (him), then accusing her of terrible things and forcing her away again.

Poor guy’s confused as heck, and so is the team, and soon enough so is Lian. The only one who understands what’s going on is May, and she’s freaking dying off to the side like why is this happening to me and eventually everybody’s like! Explain??? (Was thinking about including something from Coulson like, “Are you still keeping things from me?” Just for that extra smidge of angst, yay!)

So yeah then May gives a, like, two-sentence debriefing that elicits more questions than answers. Coulson decides to take May aside and they have a heart-to-heart. Lots of feelings and angst and hurt/comfort and at some point plenty of kissing too. Just! May hiding her feelings for Coulson’s sake but really magnified, plus some actual apologies and consideration of the grief May’s been through on Coulson’s part.

And uhh yeah that’s basically it I dunno hdsjncjshd. I warned y’all it’s OOC, plot-bendy, and very self-indulgent!

6. What character do you have the most fun writing?

I don’t think I could name a single character for this. I get different things out of taking on different voices, you know? I guess recently I’ve found myself gravitating towards more taciturn and introspective points of view, like JQ from my original novel Rosewood or M. Yisbon from my…other original novel Temple.

Generally, however, I like tackling stories from an outsider’s perspective. That’s why I so rarely write my more “substantial” (serious? demanding? for lack of better words?) projects from the PoV of my “preferred” character. This usually means writing from their love interest’s perspective, but not always. With shorter fanfic, using a more removed/unconventional/niche PoV can be really fun. Like, I once wrote a canon compliant ficlet purely(-ish) about Philinda from Tony Stark’s perspective. That isn’t always sustainable with stories that demand more character development or closer character studies, however, which is why it’s a good thing I like writing drabbles!

9. Are you more of a drabble or a longfic kind of writer? Pantser or plotter? Do you wish you were the other?

My word counts tend to run long, but I usually only write one-shots for fanfic. If I’m even inspired with a novella- or novel-length story idea for a fandom, you already know I’m in deep with them. And if I actually find the motivation to plan and execute that idea? Dangg. That’s only ever happened…twice, maybe thrice, and I’m in a lot of fandoms.

At times, I wish I could go for more of a middle ground ’cause, like, you know what I love to see? An AO3 dashboard with several completed novellas for my ship/character of choice. I mean yes, I hecking love >90k fics, but sometimes I’m in the mood for quick reads…and what am I supposed to do when I burn through all the drabbles and 2k one-shots? (Besides despair and/or reread my faves desperately.) Novellas are basically always safe for me LOL, and I’d hope to be able to give as much as I take.

Ultimately though, I think I’m okay with where I am with regards to that. I wish I could write more in general, but I’d be okay with “writing more” just meaning “writing more one-shots”, ya know? More than okay, really. I have mad respect for fic writers who have, like, a hundred or more one-shots under their belt for this one ship. The fandom ecosystem would be incomplete without them (as well as every other type of writer, but sshhh that’s the type of writer I’m closest to being right now).

I’m definitely a plotter, and I definitely prefer it that way. It’s cool having such a detailed record of my process. I like feeling like a frazzled genius on the brink of a major discovery with all of my different outlines and colour coding and many drafts and various websites.

12. Do you want your writing to be famous?

Not exactly. It might be cool if my original works were recognisable in the world, but I don’t think I’d want to be recognisable. As for fanfic, I’d low-key enjoy gaining a place in that fandom’s community as a fic writer. Like someone who gave and got fic gifts from fic writer friends, who participated in challenges and GCs, who received writing prompts on Tumblr, whose name was known for doing a certain trope/genre a bunch of times… Ya know what I mean?

Unlikely to happen when I’m so hecking hesitant to publicly (i.e., outside of AO3) claim credit for my writing, but fjnskfsjhfjs. A writer can dream, right?

15. Which is harder: titles or summaries (or tags)?

Of those three, tags are the easiest for me, for I have a reliable system for figuring out those.

Next easiest would probably be titles. For fanfiction, I like to use titles that are a quote from the source material. You should have seen all of my old Hamilton fanfic… I was really proud of some of those titles. And I don’t mean, like, whole lines—usually only two to five words. It’s a unique type of wordplay that I just love dabbling in.

And lastly, summaries. Sometimes inspiration strikes me and a snappy and intriguing synopsis just jumps out—one that I’m quietly pleased with—but most of the time I’ll spend way too long trying to think of such a synopsis and eventually just go with whatever I’d come up with so far. And live with my quiet dissatisfaction for the rest of time.

18. Do any of your stories have alternative versions? (Plotlines that you abandoned, AUs of your own work, different characterisations...?) Tell us about them!

Typically, no. If I have deleted scenes, I save and publish them separately, but that’s about it. I sometimes think of AUs for my own work and might talk about them in my author’s notes—might even talk about writing them—but I never really do anything with them.

Although…

It’s not uncommon for me to decide a plotline isn’t working for a certain story or to think of an interesting but undoable arc for a certain character, but what I’ll do is make a whole new story for those ideas. Once I’m done developing the original idea and the branched-off one, you probably wouldn’t be able to tell they grew from the same roots. Does that count?

21. What other medium do you think your story would work well as (film, webcomic, animated series, etc.)?

That depends on the story. I’ve actually written stories in other mediums—movie screenplay, musical stageplay, poetry, TV show scripts, play scripts, roleplay—but the novel does tend to be my comfort zone. Sometimes, if I have an idea that I think could work, or would even work better, as another medium, I’ll label it as such in my folder of ideas and decide not to write it as a novel.

Most of the time, my non-book projects are collaborations. I’m working with five different people on six different story ideas: two webcomics, one stage musical, one anime, and two animated TV shows. Little concrete progress has been made in any of those, mind you, but they’re still fun to discuss!

24. Would you say your writing has changed over time?

Absolutely. But I’ve been writing stories since I was five years old, so we would hope so, huh?

I wouldn’t say my writing’s changed completely, though maybe that’s just my insider’s perspective.

25. What part of writing is the most fun?

Oh gosh, I can’t believe you’d make me choose. Writing is just such a wonderful experience for me; I love just about everything to do with it. Admittedly, not all the time, but. Since that barely qualifies as an answer, however, I’ll give you this—

The endings. Not only that intense feeling of rightness when you wrap up that last sentence, but also the moments before. The adrenaline of knowing you’re almost there but you gotta push just a bit more to actually get there. And also the part right after—the real wrap-up, honestly: the revision and the editing. Heavens, I love revising and editing my work.

Which is not to say I don’t like writing it out for the first time, too—there’s nothing quite like seeing your cursor scroll to the next page, like going from a blank expanse to a Oh man, how many more lines are even going to fit on this page?, like watching that page counter tick up another number. However, there’s something cathartic about finally ironing out those problems I had to force myself to stop worrying about earlier because “just finish the first draft dangit”.

I guess that’s not really the end of the writing process, but whatever. Close enough (as fic writers are wont to say).

Another thank-you for these asks, and feel free to come back with more at any time! ;P

Send in fun meta asks for your friendly neighbourhood writer!

#thou canst not then be false to any man #ask game #invictusmaneo #to write and read comes by nature

[kirenia15]

The Hobbit: An Unexpected Company *One-shot*

Summary: Gandalf brings an unexpected party to the Company of Thorin Oakenshield. A mage, a human, and a woman, a fact that not everyone in the company is glad about. 

Warnings: none, I guess. Just some fluff.

Words: 2,170

Disclaimer: only my character is my own, credits to the amazing Tolkien and to the owner of the gif.

*A reminder that English is not my native language.* 

[Kili x OC]

“Here, Mr. Gandalf, can't you do something about this deluge?” Dori asked, although he was barely audible through the cold storm they were riding in.

Every crack and crevice that exists was soaked to the bone. Droplets stick on her eyelashes and lips, dripping from her forehead and around the curves of her temple. Her hooded cloak helped for a while, until the rain started to come so heavily that nothing could stop it from reaching her skin.

Riding behind Dwalin and Gandalf, Kirenia has watched them become as soaked and as miserable as she was.

“It is raining, Master dwarf, and it will continue to rain until the rain is done. If you wish to change the weather of the world, you should find yourself another wizard.” Gandalf responded.

“Are there any?”

“What?”

“Other Wizards?” Bilbo questioned, a few meters behind her.

“There are five of us. The greatest of our order is Saruman the White. And then there are the two Blue Wizards... You know, I've quite forgotten their names.”

“And the fifth?”

“That would be Radagast the Brown.”

“Oh, I just recalled him! He is a genuinely nice fellow.” Kirenia intervened.

“Is he a great wizard, or is he more like you?”

Kirenia’s bottom jaw dropped open slightly, turning to stare wide-eyed at the hobbit. Gandalf gave Bilbo the side-eye, readjusting his seat and holding any commentary on the insult.

“I think he is a very great Wizard, in his own way”, he answered with candour. “He's a gentle soul who prefers the company of animals for others. He keeps a watchful eye over the vast forest lands to the East, and a good thing too.”

“What about Kirenia?”. This time Nori joined the conversation.

“What about myself? I am not a Wizard but a mage.”

“Well…what’s the difference, then?”

The mage and Gandalf shared a knowingly look, and she sighed before turning to face the curious dwarf.

“She has greater power than meets the eye… more than she even knows herself.” Gandalf interrupted. “And I fear the occasion for her to show us will present itself soon enough.”

Nori and Kirenia shared a look, the dwarf bearing an amazed expression. It seemed his curiosity was calmed for the time being. The mage, on the contrary, was beaming with pride at his dear friend’s words. But she also lacked confident in herself and was afraid to disappoint him terribly. In truth, not only Gandalf, but the whole company expected some worthy actions from her. After all, she had just tagged along, totally uninvited. She became silent until they all reached a place to spend the night, lost in her own thoughts.

Thankfully, the rain had stopped. The only annoyance now was the icy wind slapping her face. She brought her hands to her mouth trying to warm them in vain. Kirenia was shivering and the only thought that occupied her mind was to build the fire and seat as close to it as possible. Thorin started giving out orders and soon camp was set, and everyone had a task to complete. Kirenia went along with Bofur to collect more firewood, an impossibly difficult task, given that the forest around them was still humid and wet. A slight fog had descended upon them and the air became misty. She could feel the damp cold seeping through her cloak as they returned to camp.

“Are you alright?” Your nose is very red, and your lips are turning blue”. Fili asked her when she saw her seating beside the fire. She emitted a grunt in response and held a finger to touch his temple, whose contact made him jump back, startled.

“Mahal, you are freezing”.

“I will be fine”, she uttered.

Kili closed the gap between them and sat beside Kirenia, offering her his fur-lined coat, which she stubbornly refused.

“Will you just take it? You are shivering so hard it’s making my teeth rattle”.

He gently put his coat over Kirenia’s shoulders, making sure to tug her well in it. The inside still held Kili’s warmth and it was pleasantly dry. The mage nodded in acknowledgment and muttered a “thank you” to the inside of the coat. Only her face from the nose upwards was visible now. It would be a comical sight if it weren’t for the poor state she was in, sniffling from time to time and still shaking. The brothers stared at her, a worried expression crossing their faces.

When Bombur had finished preparing the night’s dinner, Kili sauntered over her with a steamy bowl in each hand. She eyed the content with little appetite and only took the bowl to warm her hands. The princes, sitting on each side of her, did not cease in their intents to make her eat. Finally, Fili took the untouched bowl off her hands, frowning as he deposited it next to Bombur. When he came back, he started chiding the woman about keeping her strength and it being a waste, but Kirenia barely heard any words. Her lips and throat were dry, her sight out of focus and she was still shivering, even though her skin burnt. Fili reached a hand to touch her forehead.

“She is burning up”, he exclaimed in Oin’s direction. Kili, as well as all the others, fixed their gaze on the mage, who was pale and sneezing repeatedly.

“Kirenia, why didn’t you speak up before?”. Fili chided.

“We need to stop her fever”. Oin sat in front of her, his medical supplies in hand. “Kili, be a good lad and fetch me some cool water”.

The prince nearly stumbled in his effort to do as he was told as quickly as possible, a worried look not leaving his face.

“Strip her”. Thorin’s voice boomed over to the small group gathered around the woman.

“Uncle!”

“Her clothes must be damp; she needs to dry first. That’s probably the reason she came down with the fever”.

“Yes, b-but…” Fili trailed off, gazing at the figure huddled in his arms.

“Do you want her to improve or not? Use your coats to cover her up”. Thorin snapped.

“He is right, lad.” Oin gave him a knowingly look.

[OC’s POV]

Several hours have passed since the dreadful rain stopped. The company had found a relatively dry flatland to set up camp for the night and you had done your best to keep up and complete your tasks. But by the time dinner was ready, you were huddled up in Kili’s large coat beside the fire, just shivering and feeling worse at each passing minute. You felt your nose running, your feet were still damp and cold, as was your hair and every inch of your skin. When the brunette prince offered you a bowl to fill your belly you almost refused it right away, but then you thought it would at least warm your hands. However, you couldn’t force yourself to eat, having lost all appetite and your only wish being to lay down and forget all about this awful day.

You heard voices around you but couldn’t make out the meaning of the words. You felt light-headed and a tiredness overcame you without you realizing it. Only when some hands started touching your body, taking off your boots and unlacing your leather corset you snapped out of your dizzy state.

You focused your sight and saw Fili and Oin looming over you, the first with an embarrassed expression you had never seen before, the latter with a stoic look and confident movements setting a blanket over the bottom part of your body.  

“Wait…” you mumbled. Fili’s hands stopped right where they were, around the collar of your blouse.  “I can do it myself.”

He cleared his throat, and a relieved sigh escaped his lips.

“Y-Yes, sure, I will cover you up with my coat, lass.”

After a tortuous while when you felt like every muscle in your body complaint, you laid down on the bedroll that someone had gently extended by the fire and buried yourself in a pile of blankets and coats with nothing on but your undergarments. At least they would dry quick enough so you wouldn’t have to take them off too. The whole situation was embarrassing enough as it was. Kili, perched by your side, spent his watch delicately rubbing a wet cloth over your sweating face whilst you drifted off into a restless slumber.

[Third person’s POV]

Kili and Bofur were both on watch duty during the first couple of hours, but the brunette prince didn’t mind it one bit. Not this time. He didn’t leave Kirenia’s side the whole time, gently stroking her hair and just looking at her evenly breath. It pained him to see her frown burrowed even though she was finally asleep, knowing that the mage would spend a rough night. Kili took one of her tiny hands in his callous ones, feeling her temperature was returning to normal and her fever coming down. He felt a hole in the back of his head as Bofur’s gaze was fixed in him but didn’t mind the teasing he would have to endure from his companions. His mind was occupied with only one thought: Kirenia was sick and he was there to comfort her.

The young woman stirred in her sleep, emitting a soft moan. Kili dropped her hand abruptly, not wanting to wake her. His coat slid off one of her shoulders, leaving her bare skin in plain sight. By the firelight, it glowed and looked more beautiful than ever despite her scars, he thought to himself. But as much as he wanted to caress her skin, he forced himself to re-adjust the numerous coats and blankets covering her, tucking Kirenia in again.

[OC’s POV]

Morning came along with the cheery chirping of birds and a nice, blue sky above their heads. Kirenia stirred in her bedroll and turned to see a certain raven-haired sleeping prince facing her. She felt a sudden urge to reach a hand and brush his fringe off his eyes but couldn’t bring herself to move. She just stared at the prince, feeling grateful to have met him and his brother. Sometimes she thought that they were the only ones in the company who actually tolerated her (apart from Gandalf, that is). A deep sigh escaped her lips and her head turned in the opposite direction when the sound of rustling and thumps reached her ears. Thorin was approaching, a stern look on his face. He was the only one awake at the moment and the woman debated between facing him now or pretend to sleep. Either way, she would have to face the king’s chiding and anger sooner or later.

Kirenia sat up straight in her bedroll, catching Thorin’s eye. She tried to keep covered with his nephew’s coat, realizing her state of undress. The dwarf king retraced his steps and sauntered over the mage, his serious gesture not letting away any emotions.

“Good morning, Thorin”

“How are you feeling?”, the dwarf cur her off.

“I am much better, thank you.” She bowed her head sightly, feeling nervous. She didn’t know what to expect from him. Surely, he would be fuming because she had made a nuisance of herself. The very same thing she promised wouldn’t happen, yet she’s been the first to fall sick during the journey.

“Is your fever gone?”

“Yes, I believe it is.”. She rested her hand on her forehead for a moment, assessing her state of health. Luckily, all she felt now was hunger.

“Good. Get dressed and eat something, we will leave soon.”

She stared at the king, who strode off to the other side of camp to waken Dwalin and Balin, then the other members of the company.

Through the camp groans and yawns could be heard and everyone started to rouse. Kili’s eyes fluttered open and saw Kirenia already awake, her cheeks rose and her eyes limpid. He let go a sigh of relief and patted her arm gently.

“How is our sleeping beauty feeling today?”

She turned to him, a serious look on her face.

“Kili, I… I just want to say I am sorry for the trouble I caused last night.” She looked at him with an apologetic smile planted in her lips and brows furrowed.

“What are you talking about? Do not be silly.”

“And thank you for lending me your coat.” She rose up, still enveloped in the large coat, and gathered her own clothes that were laid down beside the now extinguished fire. “I am just going to get dressed and give it back to you.”

“You know, I am rather cold.” Kili pretended to shiver and glanced at Kirenia coyly. “You should give it to me now.”

She stared at him for a moment, then started to take it off very slowly.

“Very well.”

The prince blushed, not catching her playful tone and bluff. The mage just laughed at his stunned expression and turned on her heels, marching towards a more private space behind the bushes.

#the hobbit #kili the dwarf #kili x oc #kili durin #fili durin #Thorin's Company #Thorin Oakenshield #fanfic #fluff #oneshot

[swanqiu]

A STUDY IN CHARACTER LAYERS.

——— slight mentions of: drugs, death

LAYER  001 :   THE  OUTSIDE.

NAME.   zhang qiu / “cho chang”.

EYE COLOR.   light brown.

HAIR STYLE / COLOR.  black, although more of a dark brown in most lights. she usually wears it down, if not in a neat bun at the office or a nice plait during matches.

HEIGHT.   5′3″

CLOTHING  STYLE.   black jeans! athletic shorts! small pieces of statement jewelry! turtlenecks! sleeveless tops with lacy straps! rayon blouses with 3/4 sleeves! tapered slim-fit pantsuits! shoes with some height that also pair with many different outfits! muggle hoodies supporting the local rugby and football teams! she “borrows” her partner’s tees and sweaters and casual wear, so lol add those to the list. she’s big on practicality and comfort over flair and height of fashion, but she does like keeping up with trends and coordinating her outfits to reflect that.

BEST  PHYSICAL  FEATURE.   her smile! it’s absolutely very cliche, but when she smiles and her nose does that crinkly thing and her eyes get all starry, it’s very unfair how powerful it is. alternatively, she also has a great ass, so there’s that.

LAYER  002 :   THE  INSIDE.

FEARS.   losing people she loves. having someone d*e during a healing procedure and her mind just shutting down during it.

GUILTY  PLEASURE.   parfaits! going for a late night fly! being on top!!!

BIGGEST  PET  PEEVE.   people who sneeze/cough without covering their mouth and nose. people in the magical community who somehow think muggles are “less developed” or “behind” without magic, when they’re the ones who haven’t even moved beyond printed news and radios to circulate current events and pop culture tbh.

AMBITIONS  FOR  THE  FUTURE.   to successfully campaign for a british seat at the international confederation of wizards (delegate timeline); to patent a line of at-home salves and develop at least one healing spell by the end of her residency (healer timeline); to just be the best mom and partner possible, honestly! (divorced verse)

LAYER  003 :   THOUGHTS.

FIRST  THOUGHTS  WAKING  UP.   huh. 6 AM already?

THINKS  ABOUT  MOST.   how other people are doing.

THINKS  ABOUT  BEFORE  BED.   any of the interactions she might have had that day.

WHAT  THEY  THINK  THEIR  BEST  QUALITY  IS.   her ability to depend on herself. her sociability. her commitment to fight for what’s right.

LAYER  004 :   WHAT’S  BETTER ?

SINGLE  OR  GROUP  DATES.   single (unless you’re harry potter and have to meet up with hermione later in the day). group dates are sometimes useful for gauging potential partners’ ability to crack on with her friends, though.

TO  BE  LOVED  OR  RESPECTED.   loved. respected. both?

BEAUTY  OR  BRAINS.   brains— for herself and for a potential partner. BUT i can’t lie, if we’re being really honest here, i’m absolutely tempted by the idea of cho being with a heart-of-gold jock whose sole purposes in life are to get gains, look good, and love cho. cho x himbo king is canon btw; the muggle she marries is a *checks notes* brickhouse rugby player who rescues animals on the side and doesn’t know the first thing about how getting sick works but will gladly and fondly listen to her explain everything from antibodies to the common cold to why wearing a mask helps.

DOGS  OR  CATS.   both.

LAYER  005 :   DO  THEY…

LIE.   not really, and never with bad intentions. as she gets older, she learns to use it more for self-preservation.

BELIEVE  IN  THEMSELVES.   yes.

BELIEVE  IN  LOVE.   yes. always.

WANT  SOMEONE.   no. in her divorced verse, the answer strays more toward yes.

LAYER  006 :   HAVE  THEY  EVER…

BEEN  ON  STAGE.   yes. ravenclaw common room parties are a whole event. terry boot may or may not have the negatives of the one time she sang karaoke to abba’s “dancing queen” on roger davies’s 17th birthday.

DONE  DRUGS.   yes. her muggle psychiatrist recommended medical mar*juana to cope with the very rare night terrors. she tried it for a little while, and it worked, but she ultimately prefers the calming potions made by healer pye. she used sleeping draughts for a little while after the war (who didn’t), but she hasn’t used them since.

GOTTEN  DRUNK.   lmao yes. me, ess the mun, cupping my hands around my mouth: baby girl’s a light weight, y’all!

CHANGED  WHO  THEY  WERE  TO  FIT  IN.   no. part of the reason we read about her experiencing ostracization at school (through harry’s pov) was because she didn’t waver in her defense of marietta and was quite open with her emotions (although she ended up having to repress a large part of her grief and anger anyway). she’s very firm about sticking to her resolutions and not bending who she is in order to do that. (that might get slightly lost in romantic relationships, though.) in her moved-to-the-muggle-world verse, she definitely changes her external habits and way of living to blend in, but it’s not so much a change of her character or her person.

LAYER  007 :   FAVORITES.

FAVORITE COLOR.   beige. light purples. dark greens.

FAVORITE  ANIMAL.   swans.

FAVORITE  MOVIE.   the princess bride (1986). in the mood for love (2000). miss congeniality (2000). remember the titans (2000). 2000 was clearly a big year for her and movies.

FAVORITE  GAME.   lmao as if it would be anything other than quidditch! i’m not exactly sure how fans keep up with the sport if they’re not watching in-person, but when league cup season rolls around, the television is on, the radio is tuned, the newspaper articles about game highlights and star players are read, the plumpton tutshill jersey is ritualistically worn...

LAYER  008 :   SLEEP.

HEAVY  OR  LIGHT  SLEEPER.   light sleeper.

WHAT  SIDE  OF  THE  BED  DO  THEY  SLEEP  ON.   the right side— when she shares a bed with someone, it’s more comfortable for her to cuddle up to them if they’re on her left. in her divorced verse, she sleeps on whatever part of the bed the kids didn’t claim in the middle of the night.

WHAT  DO  THEY  WEAR  TO  BED.   old quidditch stuff— she has one or two ravenclaw scrimmage jerseys that are so old the house insignia’s already faded away. she also has endless tutshill tornadoes shirseys and tees that she’s worn and washed so often that the fabric’s become so soft now and is definitely susceptible to hem stitches unraveling. her favorite sleepwear combo is a pair of cotton boyshorts and to go braless under one of her oversized tutshill tees. comfortable— and as flattering and as easy access as possible, for those nights.

WEIRD  THINGS  THEY  DO  IN  THEIR  SLEEP.   she mumbles a lot sometimes.

LAYER  009 :   LOVE.

BIG  DECLARATIONS  OR  SMALL.   small, from her end, but she’s extremely appreciative (and only a little embarrassed) of big declarations toward her.

OPEN  OR  CLOSED  OFF.   open, although she wisely exercises caution with some people and thus becomes more closed off.

LOVE  AT  FIRST  SIGHT  OR  SLOW  BURN.   slow burn! this is also me, ess, exposing myself for my love of a good slow burn.

ONE  TRUE  LOVE  OR  A  STRING.   a string, but maybe it leads to comfortably settling into that true love. she definitely doesn’t believe that there is only and exactly one love out there for each person. that myth is a terrible and disheartening way to go about life, frankly.

LAYER  010 :   FINISH  THE  SENTENCE.

I  LOVE.   "...that things do get better. my friends. the people i consider my family. my children (added for divorced verse).”

I  FEEL.   "...insignificant, in the grand scheme of things. content with where i am, usually. but mostly, i tend to feel everything, unfortunately all at once.”

I  HIDE.   “...the parts of my feelings that lead into anger.”

I  MISS.   "...the simpler days. hogwarts days, honestly.”

I  WISH.   "...i could have had more time. to do things. to be with people. to enjoy certain moments. sorry— a bit vague, huh?”

tagged by: @gramenviride​ ( 💕 )​ tagging: lol i’ve already tagged a lot of you in these dash games/character studies and likely blew up your notifications over the last week; this turned out pretty long and might use more brain power than usual, so i’m gonna go with a general call for anyone that sees this and wants to fill this out to please do it! and tag me if you do! 

#indiecho character study #this was just an opportunity for me to hurl all of my headcanons at you; if you read through this whole thing i appreciate you sm #lol this was indeed a lot of things to just blast onto the dash but. i was given a platform and i have many thoughts what can i say!

[syrupwit]

Letter for Chocolate Box 2021

-

Hello there, and welcome to my letter for Chocolate Box Exchange 2021! I appreciate that you’ve taken the time to read this letter. I hope that it will provide you with clarification, inspiration, or at the very least a bit of entertainment.

I have requested fic only for all items below. Although I’ve written more for some sections and less for others, rest assured that I would be thrilled to receive a gift for any of the requested fandoms or relationships. 

Please see the table of contents below:

Likes

Do Not Want (DNW)

Fandom: The Magnus Archives

Fandom: Planescape: Torment

Fandom: Stellar Firma

-

LIKES

My general/SFW likes include: 

Surreality and weirdness

Character studies

Lore and worldbuilding

Humor and comedy, especially dark comedy

Psychological, paranormal, and cosmic horror

Stories-within-a-story

Unreliable narrators

Unusual team-ups

Dramatic rescues

Canon divergence AUs

Unconventional formats

My smut/NSFW likes include:

First times

Awkwardness

Characters being super into each other, especially if one or both of them are conventionally unattractive

Jealousy

Xeno

Humiliation with a male sub

Tease and denial

Orgasm delay; also orgasm denial

Dominant bottoms

Mutual dubcon/noncon, or dubcon where the dubconned party enjoys it

I have a very long list of fic likes here.

-

DO NOT WANT (DNW)

Characters under age 16 involved in sexual situations

Sex without mutual attraction

Hate speech or hate crimes (discussions/mentions of bigotry are fine)

Harm to animals (the existence of ghost animals is OK, and it’s fine to mention animals that have canonically died, but I don’t want to hear about injury, abuse, or noncanonical death of animals)

Bestiality

Scat

Necrophilia (sexual activity involving ghosts or sentient skeletons/undead is OK, just not inanimate corpses or remains)

Sexual activity involving worms / spiders / insects

-

THE MAGNUS ARCHIVES

Requested Ships: Adelard Dekker/Gertrude Robinson, Agnes Montague/Gertrude Robinson, Evan Lukas/Naomi Herne, Gerard Keay/Tim Stoker, Harriet Fairchild & Simon Fairchild

One of my favorite pieces of horror media! <3 I’ve requested mostly rarepairs for this exchange. Please don’t look to the amount I’ve written to gauge how much I want one pairing over another -- I want all these things equally and would be happy with any of them.

Adelard Dekker/Gertrude Robinson

The respect, rapport, and humor between these two is palpable in the text of Dekker’s statements and the way Gertrude talks about him. She was still holding onto his plans to disrupt rituals after he presumably died. I’d love to know more about their working relationship, the foes they faced, and whatever’s going on with Dekker’s relationship to the Web. Extinction!Dekker would also be awesome.

If you want to get into Dekker’s faith versus Gertrude’s lack-of, please do! I’m really interested in the way that religion/faith functions in a world like TMA’s, and I love conflicts between characters where neither “side” is cast as “right” by the narrative but it’s clear why everyone believes the things they do. But if you’re not interested in touching on this topic, no worries.

Agnes Montague/Gertrude Robinson

Star-crossed as hell. I refuse to believe that they only met once, or that they were entirely somber and fateful and dutiful about it. imo Gertrude generally comes off as contemptuous or irreverent about other entities and avatars, but she seems to reserve a certain respect for Agnes. Agnes... I’d just like to know more about Agnes.

I’d love to hear about their history: how their metaphysical bond works in daily life, the encounters or near misses they’ve had over the decades, the ways they’ve helped or foiled each other from a distance. I would especially love some outsider POV, whether it’s Gertrude receiving statements about Agnes, Agnes hearing of Gertrude’s exploits secondhand, or a third party perceiving a meeting between them. A statement directly from Agnes could also be awesome.

I’d love any AU where they have to work more closely together, as well -- be it canon divergence, or a setting AU like vampire/vampire hunter. (Oooh. Buffyverse AU with Gertrude as a Watcher and Agnes as the leader of the vampire cult that killed her latest Slayer, y/n?)

Evan Lukas/Naomi Herne

“Alone” was one of the first episodes in the podcast that really got me, and the image of Naomi running between those open graves is still striking. I feel terrible for Evan and am so curious about his fate. I’d love to hear more about their relationship, anything that might have happened to Naomi post-Eyepocalypse, or an AU where Naomi rescues Evan from the Lonely or vice versa.

Gerard Keay/Tim Stoker

These two have never met on-air, but I think they’d really get along. They’re both quick, driven, given to quips and reasoned action, and possessed of tragic backstories. Whether they meet somehow pre-canon, Tim finds Gerry’s book in the time between Jon’s return from America and the Unknowing, or there’s a full AU scenario, I would love to see them interact. I think there could be some interesting tension around Gerry’s decision to consciously align himself with the Eye versus Tim’s unwilling conscription, and the ways their family histories have forced them into contact with the supernatural.

Harriet Fairchild & Simon Fairchild

Harriet Fairchild is a one-episode background character with barely a handful of third-hand lines, but I’m very intrigued by her. Simon is a sparkling example of Affable Evil and I would enjoy reading more about his philosophy and relationships with others. I’m interested in the family dynasties connected to the entities and just kind of want to know more.

What are the Fairchilds, and how do they create new family members? Who was Harriet before she became a Fairchild? How does she conceive of the Vast, and what is her attraction to it (or aversion-turned-attraction)? Who is Simon to her -- teacher, tormentor-turned-teacher, evil father figure -- and how do they agree and diverge on how best to serve their patron? I really love explorations of avatars’ different relationships with their respective entities, so I would adore something about that. 

Some things that particularly compel me about the Vast: the image and name of the Falling Titan, freedom in nihilism, the comfort of insignificance, call of the void, oceans / storms / cliffs, space, scales of size so large they’re not humanly comprehensible, love for the sky, adrenaline and excitement, hollowness / emptiness, unusual manifestations, alliances and rivalries with other powers.

-

PLANESCAPE: TORMENT

Requested Ships: Annah-of-the-Shadows & Fall-from-Grace, Annah-of-the-Shadows/Fall-from-Grace, Morte & The Nameless One, Morte/The Nameless One

I completed this game for the first time in fall 2020 and enjoyed the hell out of it. I’ve only played through twice, and I haven’t explored all the routes or possible encounters; please excuse the current gaps and mistakes in my canon knowledge!

Annah-of-the-Shadows & Fall-from-Grace | Annah-of-the-Shadows/Fall-from-Grace

I fell for Annah because of her voice acting (the affectionate wryness! the ill-concealed vulnerability!), and Grace because I love older female characters whose stoic or gracious exteriors conceal fortresses of discipline. While I’m not in love with the way women are written in Planescape: Torment, I really like both these specific characters and crave more interactions between them. Their relationship has a great deal of tension with no real resolution, and they have an interesting mix of similarities and contrasts. I think there are some fascinating possibilities to explore with them, whether platonically or romantically. 

Annah mistrusts and is jealous of Grace. Meanwhile, Grace seems disappointed when Annah rejects her friendly overtures, and repeatedly shows protectiveness towards her. (What does Grace see in Annah, besides a romantic rival or just a younger woman who doesn’t like her? If they had met earlier, how would Grace have tried to cultivate her?) Annah is hotheaded and ruled by emotion, while Grace keeps her arguably more tumultuous feelings under rigid control. Then Annah’s implied discomfort with her heritage as a tiefling, and Grace’s turmoil over her identity and past trauma as a tanar’ri, are another potentially exploitable source of conflict. 

I’d love something about a bonding attempt on Grace’s part gone awry -- does it get criminal? Unexpectedly dangerous? Uncomfortably sexy? An exploration of how they deal with things post-ending (any ending), or just everyday interactions with the citizens and environment of Sigil, would also be awesome. Hurt/comfort, too -- maybe something where Annah is trying to be stoic while Grace heals her, or a situation where Annah has to take care of Grace and is super out of her element? Or maybe Annah gets mazed somehow, and is shocked when Grace shows up to rescue her? These are all merely suggestions though. 

Morte & The Nameless One | Morte/The Nameless One

One of the most complicated relationships in the game, and also (in my opinion) the most intriguing. I’m really interested in Morte’s loyalty to the Nameless One and the way his guilt intersects with and fuels it. They have such a long, twisted history, and the player’s decisions can put so many different spins on it. I’d really love anything about them, shippy or gen. (I would prefer that the focus be kept off their romantic/sexual relationships with women or aspirations toward the same, particularly the sexually harassing comments.)

I’m a massive, massive sucker for comic relief characters encountering serious/dark situations, so I would love anything with Morte in that vein, whether it’s one of his canonical moments of peril (getting stolen by Lothar! potentially being traded to the Pillar of Skulls!) or a new situation. A past incarnation of the Nameless One could also provide the peril. Their relationship has gone through near infinite iterations -- there’s so much to exploit there, and so much opportunity for angst on Morte’s part (and pining, if you want to go in a shippy direction). 

Further prompts… Hmm. I’d love something that explores the world of Planescape in general and Sigil in particular; I’m particularly fond of the mortuary, the catacombs, and UnderSigil. It’d also be cool to see their first meeting after the “best” ending of the game (where the Nameless One finally dies and goes off to join the Blood War). On the whole, though, anything where these two are together and bantering would be lovely!

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STELLAR FIRMA

Requested Ships: David 7/Trexel Geistman, Trexel Geistman/Hartro Piltz, Number 1/Number 48, David 7 & Trexel Geistman & Hartro Piltz, David 7/Trexel Geistman/Hartro Piltz

It’s difficult to express how much I love this podcast, but rest assured I really, really do. It has been described as a cross between Brazil and The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, and this strikes me as accurate. I love how the tone is at once exuberantly silly, but also dark and horrifying, in a way that doesn’t try to hammer listeners over the head with its irony. It would be hard not to delight me with any fic about the requested gen relationship and ships.

David 7/Trexel Geistman

I didn’t actually ship these two until I wrote 10k+ words of them talking. Then Season 3 came along, and, well, I LOVE THEM. They’re so fun together, and I love the gradual development of their not-quite-friendship -- those few, short moments of genuine connection, that contrast all the more with Trexel’s everyday self-absorbed cruelty and the oppressive horror of David’s situation.

The potential for jealousy and unrequited pining on Trexel’s part here is particularly delicious. (I would be totally cool with unrequited Trexel->David for this request, by the way.) However, I also love the idea of David realizing, with creeping horror, that he has feelings for Trexel, or that he returns Trexel’s no doubt inconvenient and poorly expressed affections. Imagine the songs they would sing.

In terms of prompts… I really loved the in-universe coffee shop setup; something about their time there, or an AU where they get to stay longer, would be lovely. Playing with tropes could be fantastic -- soulmate/soulbond AUs, arranged marriage, bodyswap, amnesia, wingfic, time loops, fake dating, hurt/comfort, one character being assumed dead when they aren’t (and then it makes the other character realize their feelings, oh no). I’d also really love angst, centered around pining or not. I think some terribly painful things could be done with these characters, and I’d love to read them.

Trexel Geistman/Hartro Piltz

I fell hard for this ship right about when Hartro made Trexel drink clone slurry in Episode 5. I love how much fun she has terrorizing him, how he just has to take it, and how he both fears her and scrambles for her attention. (NB: I am 100% unironically into the foot thing, so feel free to do whatever you’d like with that, including nothing.)

I love what a disaster Hartro is. It’s not her fault that she was assigned to Trexel -- he could drive anyone mad -- but she lets her hatred of him goad her into making terrible decisions. At the same time, as a nonnie on FFA expressed a while ago, it seems like she gets more out of the relationship than she wants to confront or acknowledge. On Trexel’s end, Hartro seems to demonstrate the exact sort of mix of “come here” and “get away from me” that captures his attention.

Kink is baked into this ship, so I’ll try to be shameless about requesting it. I was perhaps overly gratified when Trexel was canonically stated to be a masochist (he likes getting shock-collared! and possibly stepped on!). I’d love anything that goes even further with their canon dynamic -- D/s, punishment, bondage; humiliation, degradation, the foot thing; maybe dubcon with a pre-canon Hartro taking out her frustrations on Trexel, or some sort of incredibly messed up corporate training exercise. 

Explicit kinky content is far from my only interest here, though -- I’d also love romance, a lower-rated exploration of UST, or something that examines their relationship without getting into kink or sex at all. This is one of those ships where, if you make them hold hands in a certain way, hearts will spontaneously explode in my eyes. Just a fact.

Number 1/Number 48

Standards! So sinister. What’s up with them, anyway? How did they meet and agree to file relationship paperwork together? What are their couples counseling sessions with Dr. Krell like? What were the most egregiously vague pronouncements that Number 1 made pre-canon, and what other work assignments have impacted their personal lives and forced them to cancel reservations? ...How did Number 48 get the murder hammer? 

Since these two are, I believe, the highest-ranking members of Stellar Firma to have appeared in the podcast so far, I’d love something about their interactions with other higher-up types or silly protocols or general Brazil-type bureaucratic madness. If there are ominous promises and disturbing implications packaged in crisp business jargon, all the better. 

David 7 & Trexel Geistman & Hartro Piltz | David 7/Trexel Geistman/Hartro Piltz

So, I love these characters and the way they interact. I love that they’re all dramatic and ridiculous in their own ways, and that no one is strictly the straight man or the comic relief (though Trexel does come close to the latter). 

Gen-wise, these three seeing a common goal through together would be delightful, whether it’s something small or grand-scale or completely imaginary. Something science fiction-y, or crossover with another genre like horror or film noir, could be really fun. Additionally, the episode where they all play a TTRPG is one of my favorites -- I’d love something else about them playing a game together or otherwise letting Hartro explore her passion for elaborate props and scenarios. 

Ship-wise, I’ve already talked about why I love David/Trexel and Hartro/Trexel. For David and Hartro, I like that they’re able to have a polite, semi-reasonable conversation, but I was also intrigued by the hint of antagonism in Episode 55, with the angry staring and pointed bed-sitting. I tend to read David as either gay or bi with a heavy preference for men, but I could absolutely get into some David/Hartro rather than a V relationship for this OT3. In terms of shippy prompts, I’m interested in seeing them navigate the same scenarios as in gen, but I would also love some messed up three-person corporate training exercises if you’d like to go that route.

#optional detailed letters for exchanges tag

[dewitty1]

The Pirate and the Prince

Maniacani @maniacani-arts  PalenDrome (nerdherderette) @nerdherderette

Chapters: 4/4 Fandom: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling Rating: Explicit Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter Characters: Draco Malfoy, Harry Potter, Ron Weasley, Hermione Granger, Ginny Weasley, Neville Longbottom, Luna Lovegood, Terry Boot, Colin Creevey, Marcus Flint, Roger Davies, Blaise Zabini, Pansy Parkinson, Lucius Malfoy, Narcissa Black Malfoy, Pius Thicknesse, Hedwig (Harry Potter) Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Historical, Alternate Universe - Regency, Alternate Universe - Non-Magical, Alternate Universe - Pirate, Pirate Harry Potter, Aristocrat Draco Malfoy, Virgin Draco Malfoy, POV Draco Malfoy, Explicit Sexual Content, Sexual Tension, Oral Sex, Blow Jobs, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Barebacking, First Time, Loss of Virginity, Minor Hermione Granger/Ron Weasley, Minor Neville Longbottom/Ginny Weasley, Past Cedric Diggory/Harry Potter - Freeform, Past Roger Davies/Harry Potter, Harlequin, Adventure & Romance, Tattoos, Drinking, Costume Parties & Masquerades, Sexual Harassment, No Period-Typical Homophobia, Canon-Typical Violence, Canonical Character Death, Light Angst, Happy Ending, H/D Fan Fair 2019, Secondary Theme: Travel Fair, Digital Art

Summary:

Draco can't believe that fate and circumstance have made him a stowaway on the Master of Death's ship. He doesn't know what's worse: the dread pirate's legendary vendetta against the aristocracy, or the fact that his captor is the most infuriating yet irrefutably fascinating man Draco has ever met.

Excerpt:

"Don't jump," someone says softly. 

Draco hears the weight of Harry's footsteps on the deck behind him, sure and light-footed. "Sometimes, when I close my eyes and hear the birds and the waves, it's as if I'm flying alongside them," Draco says, opening his eyes slowly. 

Harry settles himself on the railing next to Draco as they stare out at the waters ahead. "Hmm," he says quietly. The setting sun bathes his strong features in its soft light, his eyes luminous under his dark lashes. "I think I prefer to keep my eyes open, though. To be prepared for any eventuality."

"Being prepared doesn't mean one can't enjoy a moment of spontaneity. I would think that the Master of Death would embrace Fate's whimsy with a bit more daring."

Harry snorts. "I've experienced more 'daring' by the age of twenty than most have in the entirety of their lives."

"So modest." Draco glances at Harry, and in a fit of inspiration, lowers his hand to the strip of green fabric that's wrapped around his waist. He undoes the knot and waves it in front of Harry face. "Let's try, for a bit of fun. It will be like playing buffy with a stick."

Harry's eyes widen as he lets out a long hiss. "I won't wear a blindfold."

Draco frowns, deflated at the rejection. "But you wear a mask all the time," he says.

"Not one that impedes my vision." Harry leans back, visibly trying to slow his breathing. "I was often locked in a cupboard as punishment when I was a child. To be forced into such darkness is difficult for me."

"I'm sorry." Guilt wells up in Draco, the heat in his face rising. "I didn't know."

"How could you?" Harry asks, soft and without censure.

Draco thinks about his parents, how they tried to lay everything at his feet, give him every advantage. Though their wishes for his future may be different from his own, they had never done anything so deliberately cruel. "Your parents…forgive me, Harry, for speaking out of turn, but I don't understand how anyone could do such a thing to a child, never mind their own."

"It wasn't my parents," Harry whispers, fiercely staring at a spot on the railing. "It was my aunt and uncle. Monsters can be found everywhere, including one's family."

Draco reaches out to hold Harry's hand. Harry's eyes dart up in surprise, but he doesn't withdraw from the touch. His palm feels solid and warm, and then his fingers curl, interlocking with Draco's.

Harry watches Draco intently, then raises Draco's hand and brings it to his lips.

Harry's mouth brushes against Draco's skin. It's fleeting, but the ghost of the kiss lingers, the memory a sweet boon. "You're beautiful when you blush," Harry says, grinning.

"You make me feel like a lady who's just been granted a voucher to Almack's," Draco laughingly admits, thinking of Pansy.

"Hmm." Harry lets go of Draco's hand and runs a finger absentmindedly along the railing. "I doubt you'd ever find me hanging around with such esteemed company."

Draco's face falls at the disdain that's clear in Harry's voice. "Whatever do you mean?"

"The company of people who think that good breeding and exemplary behaviour are provinces of the nobility when they, in fact, are often the ones who lack it the most."

Draco takes a step forward, unwilling to let such a statement go unanswered. "That's a bit presumptuous. Why would you think so poorly of those whose only crime is to have been born of noble birth?"

"Because I was shown their immorality and cruelty at an early age, for it was none other than a noble—Lord Voldemort, the Duke of Hangleton—who robbed me of my childhood when he struck down my parents for his political advantage."

A chill washes over Draco, causing him to shiver despite the still-present sun. His father was an ardent supporter of Voldemort and his policies. He's still not sure how Voldemort met his demise and Harry's role in it, what rumours are salacious gossip versus some embellished version of reality. Given what he's just learned, he's certain that both Harry and his father are somehow involved.

Draco turns back to the open sea. As the sun touches down over the horizon, lavender washes over the skies, and the ocean turns a dark and turbulent blue.

Draco crosses his arms, unable to shake the sense of foreboding. "Here," Harry says gruffly as a light, woolen coat drapes over Draco's shoulders. It smells of Harry and his soap.

"Thank you," Draco says. Harry's gaze flicks over Draco's body wrapped in the too-large jacket before his expression becomes hooded.

"We'll be docking at Brisson Cay on Friday. My estate—Godric's Hollow—is on the western side of the Isle of Hogsmeade. It is large, and most of us reside there when not at sea, while we attend to our other business ventures. There is room for you and work to be had if you would like to continue your stay, although it might include a bit of hard labour."

Despite his predicament, the prospect fills Draco with a semblance of hope. "I believe I have proved to you that I have both the desire and capability to perform such work."

Harry gives him a smile. "It would only be fair to tell you that the Hogwarts Express sails from Brisson Cay to the Port of New York every three months. From there, it would not be difficult for one to book passage to London. If you should ever need it."

Draco frowns. "Is that what you'd prefer?" he eventually asks.

"There is a small cottage by the gardens, close to the water." Harry hesitates. "Hogsmeade is famed for its unusual beauty. I think that, for you, it would be a perfect home."

There's no mistaking the way in which Harry's voice husks lower. Draco tilts his head and licks his lips, parting them invitingly. "I look forward to you showing me all the beautiful things," he dares.

Draco winds his fingers along the back of Harry's neck and pulls him in. The hairs along Harry's nape tickle Draco's skin; Harry lets out a groan and gives in to the demand with the smallest of protests, and when he does, it's as if the walls of his resistance come crumbling down. He pushes Draco against the rail and brackets Draco's body between his muscular arms, his breath hot against Draco's cheek as their foreheads brush against one another. 

"You drive me to madness," Harry grits out. "Filling me with a fever beyond all reason." He allows Draco to bridge the distance as their lips touch, and the kiss that follows is desperate and almost angry.

The force of their kiss nearly causes Draco to buckle, his head dizzy as Harry cups Draco's chin and tilts it so the angle is better. The clumsiness of Draco's initial attempt slides into something more practised, a longing filled with lips and tongue, the heat of it urgent. Harry's left hand grips the side of Draco's hip, pulling them flush, the tightness of his breeches leaving no misunderstanding about the state of his arousal.

"Harry," Draco gasps. He tilts his neck back as Harry mouths the exposed line of Draco's throat, and he's sure that his skin is mottled and bruised as Harry worries it between his teeth. Draco's hips buck forward, and he's mortified by how needy he sounds, how desperate, how dangerously close he is to spilling in his trousers as he ruts against Harry's thigh.

"Do you know how much I've thought of you, Jacob?" Harry asks as Draco whimpers, his heart a rapid staccato.

Draco is so far gone that he doesn't care that Harry thinks he's someone else. His body burns as if suffering from ague and his heart races from the way Harry's fingers dig into his sides, as if he is trying to mark Draco's skin through the layers of his clothes.

"So needy. So beautifully responsive," Harry adds as he punctuates his words with a roll of his hips.

"Only for you, Harry," Draco gasps. "No one else. There's never been anyone else."

Harry's hands still, his grip painfully tight. He pulls back, and though his eyes are still dark with arousal, they are also widening in shock. He takes a step back, his lips swollen and kiss-bitten, his dark hair tumbling out of its queue as he shakes his head forcefully. "You are…" he rasps, his throat working from the effort. "You are an innocent?"

"What does it matter?" Draco pleads. He moves to draw Harry towards him, his heart aching when Harry recoils from his touch.

Harry's hands are clenched into fists so tight, Draco fears his nails will draw blood. "It matters because your first time should be something more than a dalliance."

Draco's cheeks pink with anger. "Are you saying I'm but an amusement?"

"Jacob…" Harry takes several deep breaths but he's already closed off, distancing himself from Draco with his words and actions. "I am saying that I am not the man that you think, nor the one you deserve. You should be someone who can return the trust that you give in equal measure."

He turns and walks away. When the sun breathes its last gasp, Draco realises that he's still wearing Harry's coat.

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