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I am a failure
A man without triumphs
A sunken ship
Filled only with tears
Constantly haunted
By past mistakes
It would take Herculean feats
To ever bring me back
I abstain from love
Why would I wish that suffering
On them
Have I not condemned
Enough people
To remember
My horrid visage?
I wish the sand
And water
Moved quicker
To bury me beneath
So memories of me
Would fade
I despise
And regret
Those bonds
Latched on to me
All these hopeful fools
Who still believe
In me
It so much easier
To perish alone
Peacefully
Than be pull upwards
Into a warmth you can never pay back
Into love you will never get back
Into memories that will haunt you forever more
#my poetry#orginal poem#orginal post#orginal poetry#depressing post#tw depressing stuff#buried alive
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I feel like I’m past my last
Breath
Every sip now
Theft
I’m dead
Parasites
Bid me
Rise
A machine
Rusted
Spinning on
Fumes
Bid on
Without
Reason
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Why must everyone go?
The ones who pushed me to
Move
Have moved away
Now I simply walk through
Graveyards
Sharing my progress
With headstones
The night came long ago
I wonder who much
Longer I will wander
I wonder
Do the tears I shed
Get carried by the clouds
Bringing rain to them?
Is the barren sky
Evidence
That im not even a
Concept to them?
Stone is cold to touch
And photos of time past
Is frigid
I wait for myself to
Get better
So that maybe
Fate will guide them
Or me
To each other again
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Those two months
Gave me my dreams
You two showed up
Night after night
And we journeyed
Far
And grew so close
Never more
Was I so free
Never again
Do I belong
I miss the
Little dopamine
Of the pixels that contained your love
Rummaging through my fau hair
Never once had i receive so may
Forms of affection
Several hugs a night
Playing with each others hair
My brain even tricked itself for you
So that even in that fake world it felt real
Was that a lie
Or was your love that strong?
Although I may never see you again
You’ve given me a life full of
Hope
And gave half of my heart
Though it’s seems have pulled open
Though sorrow pours
As water fall down my eyes
I will never forget that kind soul
I promised you that night is live
Now I doubt you will ever know
If I am truthful
Where ever you roam
Under the moon we sang together
Beneath the waves we cried in
I pray the winds brings
My love
To wrap around you
Again
#my poetry#orginal post#orginal poem#orginal poetry#longing#i miss you#maybe one day I can face you again
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Why does a demon
Wrapped in barbed wire
Such as I
Gather so many angels around me?
Why must every individual I touch
Bleed after?
Why did I yearn for love
Yet scar every heart who tries?
Is it selfish?
Is it cruel?
Is some horrid joke?
I just want to be declawed
It a way that every passer by
Would feel at easy
Or at least
Not become paranoid
At my presence
I wonder if the isolation I
Linger in
Is the only safe place
For me to be
For the world to see
So that those I love
Will be free?
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Human
I believe
We’re carved from marvelous
Stone
For over time we erode
And what’s lost
Is gained
In new
A piece from those around you
Binds itself in the hole
We weather and change
Though it’s hard to see
It takes millions of seconds
For the pressure to morph
For the heat to cool
Wether it shows
Or if it’s deep inside
We are all changing
Their are some
Who will point to you
And call you ugly
For the growth
For that change
Ignore them
The beauty of humanity
Is the intrinsic cycle
Of growth
If we were all trapped today
To never grow
How many relationships would break ?
How much hate would spread ?
How lost would we be ?
Even in the worst
Don’t deny the change
For someday
The amethysts hearts
Will shine through basalt
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Ya know
Once you crest the hill
And see the peaks above
Take a moment
For yourself
Tell the tales of those
Who stand beside you
And those who choose a different path
Along the way
Light a fire in remembrance
For the sacrifices
For the strength that bloomed
For the clash of will
Sing
And
Cry
Not out of sorrow for
Days gone
But for
The days to come
Look up
At the stars in clear sky
If you hold doubts
If you hold regrets
Place them in a star
Your free to revisit the past
In the soft night
But by day
You need the freedom to move on
When the sun rises
Stack some stones on the side of the road
A sign with no name
To honor your victory
And take a moment
Breathe deep
Brace yourself
Pack up
And move on
After all
Think of the fun at the top of
Tomorrow’s hill ?
#my poetry#orginal poem#orginal post#hopeful#hope#things get better#I promise#on the names I hold in honor of those who helped me#I’ll help you#love#live
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Nobody told
What being reanimated
Feels like
It hurts like hell
To feel again
Yet my brain
Says I’m dead
I cut away
At every relationship
I still deny
My humanity
Always at a distance
Watching the flames
Yet I’ll never be warmed
I long to die again
That cold
Numb
Nothing
Made it all so much easier
To exist
I’m bound to it
My depression
No matter how much
It steals from me
It took my mother’s face
And left the nightmares
It took my heart
And filled it with sorrowful tears
Reanimated
Born again
I wish i wasn’t
Because the human
Condition
Of love
Feels wrong
Love
A thing not destined
For me
I feel as though
Every thing I consume
Harms another
So I stopped for a time , eating , drinking , asking
I didn’t chase luxury
Or even necessity
I only chased
That silent
Numbing
Abyss
I only chased
A living death
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FUCK DISCOVERY HERE'S THE 4 SEASONS OF INFINITY TRAIN
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As I begin to sink
Into that cold
Abyss
As I rush
To say goodbye
And make everything
Right
To sever every
Bond
Give up everything
With the hopes
That their
Alright
Even as the abyss
Pulls me down
Even as the abyss
Fills my soul
I simply wish
To make things
Right
Before I lose
Myself again
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Ghosts
Time after time I see them
Their smiles taunt me
I can hear them laughing
Why does my heart
Still beat ?
All dreams have
Turned to dust
Why must this sorrow last ?
To be haunted by your past
How it’s all been failures ?
You can never out run them
Those dreaded visages
When they lurk within your own mind
How can you run ?
How can you hide ?
When you can never
Make things
Right ?
When your swallowed whole
and left to watch
As the days pass by
You can feel can’t you ?
Yourself
Rotting , contorting
Into this malformed beast
You hate it
It stands against you
And brings more pain
In the name of survival
That sinking feeling
The foggy mind
Once you’ve lost your path
How can you go back ?
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I sit here
Under a darkened sky
Where no stars shine
And the moon hides
With the world
Dark
You can see within
Yourself
A heart that has been rotted black
Scars
Wounds so fresh
You can see the weapon that caused it all
You can see the falsehood
The face turned facade
A tool for survival
Has Entombed the survivor
Their is no key
To the lock on the cell
The prisoner
Lies motionless
No more emotions
No stories to be told
Eyes forever starring off
Into a better world
Off in the distance
A fire roars
With flames shooting towards the heavens
And the shadows
Of the past
Of what could have been
Of the tormentors
That loom larger then comprehension
Consuming the humanity
What little light escapes
That strikes the dark back
To show the ruins
Of a lost time
Abandoned
Destroyed
You can see
Off in the distance
A rusted giant
Chained to the earth
Who mutters the truth
Of times past
Of those lost
Of a future
Where he is free
When all is made right
Yet those rusty shackles
Tie him to this fate
No one could break
This heinous curse
Yet not a scream could be heard
For the fight is long over
For the night has come
Though the sun might rise
Nothing will change
This is hell
Why should
Escape be possible ?
“ if one cannot save themselves they cannot help other , and one cannot help another if they do not reach out their hand and ask for help . You can’t save everyone , but if you can help yourself , you have played your part , and if you have helped another , you have gone beyond expectations and the world is better for it.” ( shad , and old friend of mine)
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I’ve stared at a cross for decades now
I’ve read the books
That preacher rants and taught
I’ve wander under the moon
And felt the love in its light
And the wonder of nature
I’ve sat in reverence
Before the alter adorned by
Offerings to their gods
I’ve debated
With friends
With enemies
With family
To try and grasp a
Truth
That we cannot
This world works in mysterious ways
At times I’ve prayed for others
At times I’ve tried to read the future
And I’ve seen the fighting
Between victorious
And those they tried to vaniquish
When the difference is simply
“ miracles “
Or
“ magic “
When the origins
Are the same
And they
Try to answer
The same question
Why must fighting occur ?
Is humanity bound to
The dark ?
But it must be
For to be human
Is to be imperfect
Or is that wrong too ?
Is everything tied
To the chains of
Fate ?
Or is there no order ,
Where everything exists as
Chaos ?
The better question is why does it matter ?
No matter what the love and sorrow is real
The sun shines and the smile on your face warms your heart
The feelings
The thoughts
Are all real
So why search for something more ?
It is said all religions originate with someone trying to understand the world
Yet the constant pursuit of truth leads to violence against those who disagree
For you to be in the right , everyone else must be wrong
The truth of this world cannot be reached , wether angelic or pagan or nonexistent , the one who organizes the universe cannot be understood .
So why not be kinder , to those hear and now , that can be understood?
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As we push
Longer and longer
Days
And we merge
the nights
Into the days
When the hours
Fade quicker
When months
Dissipate
Into a fog
When
The mind
Numbs
And we
Spectate
Our life
That’s
When our
“Best days”
Our stolen
And that’s
When we curse
This world
As we
Fade
#my poems#my poetry#orginal post#beauty of the old world#orginal poem#original work#unus annus#emo#emo poem#emo poetry
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Born
Unto the shackles
Chained
To a fate decided
Without consent
To be abused
And used
By the sons
Of those who sold
You
To be
Broken
To have spirit
Ripped
And torn
To be
Left
Old and frail
Beaten and broken
Abandoned
By those
Who stole
You
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If you are lost
In that deep forest
Clouded in the mist
Which steals the will
And numbs old wounds
And if you find the path
Where every step
Requires a sacrifice
And progress
Is halted
And if you
Cant imagine
A better place
A glowing future
Just a dark abyss
Is that
Finally
A good reason
To give up ?
You owe this world
Nothing
And
This world
Owes you
Nothing
But do you owe
Those who pasted on
Their legacy
Their hopes
Their dreams
Their fire
?
No one will experience
Two colors
The same
It’s the same
With life
So it’s up to you
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We spend
Every day
Trying
To paint a single
Picture
We make bonds
To ensure guests
And we love
So the sky
Will cry
On that day
And we slave away
To leave
Hope
For another day
We entrust
Our fire
To the next
And we have to watch
As for the ones you left
A harsh reality is
Imposed
But for you
You are free
Free as the hawk which commands
The winds
You are free
Free from the pain and sorrow
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